#the idea that Ludinus faced with death would not even for a moment think he went wrong somewhere?

[blazingstar24]

Of course Ludinus parallels Laerryn and Patia, but I think what’s even more compelling is the key difference that splits them apart.

It’s the fact that they had the Ring of Brass that sets these hubris wizards apart. All of them are ambitious, prideful, too powerful for their own good. But Laerryn and Patia have the stopgap. They have loved ones, family, friends that factor into their decisions. And this changes the whole dynamic on how far they go and how much they are willing to put on the line.

Yes, the Ring of Brass enabled each other so incredibly much. But Patia falters when Cerrit calls her selfish. She tries so hard to explain to Zerxus that no they weren’t playing around with Evandrin’s life. Laerryn stopped! Laerryn fully stopped in her casting of Blight when she saw the fear and disappointment in Quay’s eyes. Over and over, the Ring of Brass at the very least put doubt into their minds about what they were doing, about the actions they took to get there.

Ludinus however, is utterly and completely alone. There’s no lover like Quay to signal fear. There’s no friend like Cerrit to call out the bullshit. He has nothing. The CA are not friends, Otohan and the Sorrowlord are means to an end. This is what makes him such a frightening villain.

Because all of these wizards had the same conviction in mind: that their goal is going to achieve the betterment of their society/world. But with Laerryn and Patia, you could reach them. You could appeal to them through the connections they had outside of their conviction. But Ludinus? He only has his conviction. He only has this one goal. And he has not wavered from it in 1000 years.

In a way the true parallel for Ludinus might be Zerxus! These two extremely and unhealthily devoted men. Because Zerxus’s flaw comes down to this unyielding belief in his conviction that he can redeem anyone. And we see where that conviction will fail. How do you appeal to a person to stop when they believe they are doing good?

It is frightening in the sense of how do you affect him. How could you even get Ludinus to see the ground beneath his feet? He seems to truly believe he’s saving the next generation. That he’s freeing them from some terrible fate. It is frightening in the way that he could stand amidst the wreckage of the world and proudly say that he did it for the good of everyone.

How do you make lawful evil terrifying? Hold them to their convictions, their code, their so called honor. And never waver. Even as Molaesmyr falls. Even as annex after annex die in Aeor. Even after colleagues are being thrown in jail. Even after the world keeps saying no, please stop. Over and over, obstacles in the way. But still, the plan, the goal, must be achieved. He has nothing else.

[ludinusdaleth]

this is something ive had brewing in my mind for a while, but now that this aeor arc seems concluded, im really thinking on ludinus & other calamity survivors, and the idea of no perfect victim & moving forward.

ludinus & leylas are about the same age, have lived the same years. when we meet leylas, she is sending her soldiers to war in large part because she has seen the cycles of exandria unfold so consistently she cannot imagine peace until she defeats her enemy (quana still prays for it, and unity among everyone. but she holds her tongue). ludinus, on the opposite side of the mountains, knows the cycles too. and he thinks he must wage them to break them. leylas worships the luxon to free herself from the gods. ludinus despises the luxon for being seen as a god at all, that leylas as a survivor would dare worship it. both see the exact same thing but in opposite ways. but leylas gives a small smile of surprise when the m9 stop the war of ash & light. she is surprised, but happy to be wrong, in this one moment; her faith in these non dynasty folk paid off. all ludinus, one who hates cycles seeing a cycle caught short, sees, is a loss at taking more beacons, at destroying the "religious drivel" of the luxons religion. at least he can get to work on the big picture, the cycle he actually cares about, over any he enforces.

devexian & alyxian awaken the same year, devexian by the m9, in the ruins of his (and ludinus's) home. he can only laugh dryly at its fate, say it is a cruel joke of history. he picks up the pieces, tries to bring his people back to life. he wants them to start anew. he wants them to let go. if ludinus cant escape the day the city fell then it seems devexian wants nothing more than to leave it for tomorrow. alyxian has been caught in the hell of being a demigod of divinity & ruidis left to rot in half death. (depending on your netherdeep ending) he awakens to a new dawn, suddenly ancient & old in body, but.... free. freed by your party. he was torn asunder by avandra/correlon/sehanine & predathos within him, their powers festering in him as gruumsh destroyed him - and still he tries to be kind, and have faith, even if he is not the warrior he was, even if everything he ever knew was destroyed. he can see society flourish again, even after his & gruumsh's battle destroyed half of marquet. ludinus has seen society rebuild its entire course of time - and all he sees is a world never as brilliant as what it was before.

all of these calamity survivors are completely fucked. leylas is paranoid, losing her mind from living too long, and still haunted by lolth. quana is resigned to stay at her lovers side even as madness takes her when all she wants is unity with others. devexian is clearly so unwilling to face history repeating he wont tell other aeormatons their heritage. alyxian is broken & battered after an eon of nonstop torture.

but they had help from others, from kind souls, who reached a hand out. and they took that kindness and internalized it. and they have vowed to help their people any way they can. to spread that glimmer of hope. to rebuild.

ludinus hasnt. and i think there is deep tragedy in that. i dont know if he has much hope, ironically, beyond raging cleansing fire. in that broad big picture it is both incredibly real & also heartbreaking when recovery falls through the cracks so badly. to have so little of a support group of survivors around you that you smack the hand of those who came out of it differently, and not have known others who could show you it was okay to move on. you hurt other survivors in your refusal to breathe, and live too large to see the others choosing a small destiny. it is unfair to him to had to have suffered and unfair to inflict that on calamity survivors again for your own agenda.

i fixate on him not disagreeing with the bells finding a third option. deep down, he wants to have that hope the others share so fucking bad. we'll see if he ever finds it.

[ludinusdaleth]

Or - OR - Ludinus is proven wrong, and the gods… give up their divinity. And he, having siphoned fey for centuries and destroyed families and entire cities on his own, finds himself truly immortal, having to watch as a plan he wasted his life making goes unachieved.

honestly, i know folk would tire of ludinus fast, and want him dead more than any other character.... but i really do like the concept of him just not dying. the idea he Just Cant. orym & imogen ripping his body to shreds in rage but he just keeps living because his thread was broken and he is death incarnate who cannot die when even the matron can. watching gods & mortals find a dance and him shaking like a humbled child realizing he is the Ungod. he is true Divinity in a sense. he's what the gods wanted everyone to think they were. and he just..... has to live. he has to live. somehow.

i imagine he would find some speck of comfort. that he doesnt need to worry about them as tyrants. but he would be so furious if they were allowed into society, and he is now forever barred from it. that he is the tyrant to everyone for generations before and generations to come. the inherent horror of a rotting body that can only feed on power to live as youre thrown to a dungeon without light and left there for ages - save for moments folk want to test true Divine questions. your name taught as worse than vespin chloras. finally emerging one day and you are the decrepit broken mule as exandria has become enlightened and reinvented the wheel without you, who fetishized such things. the horror on folks faces at the rotting god, in a society you wanted, that lives without them. the farther you limp, at least people do not recognize you immediately, with a frame so broken you could never stand as the proud elven man again. the shock when the poorest, simplest folk who eventually look at you blankly ask "want to sit round the fire, old one?" and you're so exhuasted you accept. kindness & mercy by those you despised. kindness & mercy as humble as childhood in ruins. you are the grandparent. and you always will be. and maybe the child & the eldest of men is an ouroboros.