#the idea hasn't been sitting on my mind long enough for it to be fully polished‚ but I couldn't for the love of me get it out of my head

[emstargazer]

Not sure if these will turn out to be just recurring OCs with a brief backstory or a full-on written fanfic centered around these two or some other format, but either way... Berserker Armor inspired Titan whose Pilot mimics the arsenal Guts uses throughout the manga when paired together with the Titan's loadout and whose relationship with them has an ominous side reminiscent of Guts and the Beast of Darkness.

Does anyone on planet Earth see the vision?

For which audience is this post supposed to cater, you ask?

Me, I am the audience.

Don't worry, I'll be reasonable and put my self-indulgent rambling under a readmore. Beware of some minor spoilers for Berserk.

Considering Vanguard-class Titans are "almost as well armored as a Legion, with the dash capacity of a Ronin" I feel like it fits best class-wise, but it would be a heavily modified Vanguard-based that sacrifices a lot of its defensive capabilities for an incredibly aggressive self-destructive approach to combat. It would also take some design inspiration from Ronin Prime, specifically the concept art (inheriting similar legs and the plates on its sides that remind me of air vents, which I may repurpose to introduce a cooling system) while still preserving the overall structure of a Vanguard. So think of Ronin Prime(Concept) +BT(or FS-1014 or SDV) +The Armor.

They utilize a unique Sword Core that would at first be identical to the regular until it one day develops to have the same, yet way amplified benefits with one additional being the ability to "keep itself together". What I mean by that is while the core's active it's able to keep most of its components functional despite sustaining damage that would otherwise prove to be fatal by using technology similar to the Gravity Star ordnance which upon activation would bend space so that said components can still work in unison, albeit semi-efficiently. It doesn't necessarily repair, but it does let you keep on going for longer even after your Doomed State health bar has completely depleted(yeah, I'm also trying to look at this from a gameplay perspective).

Hmm, sounds familiar.

But the real fun lies in its major drawbacks. First of all, if it does get to a certain point of no return, you won't be able to eject and once the Titan Core ability ends an explosion is imminent. Basically making every instance you use the core into a likely suicide mission. A risky last resort rather than an ultimate ability.

Secondly‚ after every usage the neural link gnaws at your psyche, leaving you with a mental scar, meaning your mind(notably your judgement and self-control) gradually deteriorates over time.

This issue derives from the very nature of the Titan, because its AI is designed to have such a strong link that it inadvertently has access to something which can only be detrimental in the long run and that is the deeper unconscious layer of the Pilot's Mind.

Initially, Titan's AI will have its own set of characteristics, but the better the link becomes, the Titan's control over filtering those unconscious thoughts will falter. Until eventually, the AI splits into 2:

The seemingly original, true self(I know, one may argue that's not the right choice of words, but I disagree considering we've seen how far the Titan's AI can evolve with BT)

An independent personification of the Pilot's Jungian Shadow(I wonder what kind of dynamic will they and the Pilot have, image below definitely unrelated c;)

Now, about the Pilot. Anything relating to their backstory before being assigned with [insert Titan's designated name](been researching military alphabet and code words for ideas, still haven't thought of something that sticks) is currently undetermined.

What is set in stone is they don't have any idea either due to being revived as an advanced simulacrum, until they achieve a complete awakening(like Ash or Revenant) by the unique link they've established as such. The Titan could give insight into the inner workings of their mind that they couldn't fathom as a human, let alone a digital backup of human consciousness with restrictions(ego retention system).

Once awakened, their main objective is to uncover lost memories through the use of said link. The catch is in the drawbacks and the eventual separation of the Titan's AI.

First one is mostly self-explanatory, even in the case that the Pilot's mind component remains intact and gets miraculously brought back into a spare robotic body, it would certainly be a limited resource(same with the Titan) and there would always be a high chance of data corruption.

Second one turns their journey into a ticking time bomb, making every subsequent combat encounter push the Pilot closer to inescapable insanity.

Birth of the second AI inside the datacore causes the Titan's original self to fight for control and question whether the other one is a part of who they are despite originating from someone else, while the Pilot can only bring words of encouragement from inside the chassis.

A story about a Titan and Pilot who both struggle with their identity leading them to form a connection that goes beyond the neural link itself. Exploring how in the journey of self-discovery what one might find to be a part of who they are may in fact be working against them and despite that one should learn to accept it and acknowledge its existence in order to have any control over it. All while affirming interpersonal connection as one of the necessary steps in learning such a lesson.

With hopefully a lot of emotional damage sprinkled along the road.

c:

To the arsenal we go, Titan's loadout would consist of:

an energy-based weapon with a repeating crossbow-like mechanism visually resembling the Ballista from Doom Eternal.

And, you guessed it, The Giant Ass Sword which is preferably going to be unnecessarily longer and thicker than Ronin's canon broadsword to the point where it should theoretically be ineffective, but as a consequence of their unique fighting style and years of accumulated battle experience they'd be able to find unconventional ways to use such attributes to their advantage. Why not use a standard edition broadsword like all the others? Both of them got too attached to their sweet heap of metal^_^. Another significant distinction from it is that instead of using electric charge to produce the Arc Wave, it would harness it to send a shockwave through both the "phase dimension"(one used by Ronin, Simulacra Pilots and others) and our own making it able to damage even those currently occupying the alternate dimension.

Again, one might guess where the general idea comes from.

When it comes to the Pilot's design, I'm keeping it mostly unknown for now. They will be using Pulse Blade since it's the closest thing to Guts' throwing knives and one of their arms will have a use as an Anti-Titan weapon. As ordnance, a large amount of miniature frag grenades.

Ok, I think going into deeper intricacies would be overkill, so I'll put my foot on the brake here.

If you've read this far, I'm beyond grateful you took your time to go through the amalgam of my sporadic unorganized ideas.

Here's a treat!

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

baby come back

♡ STEVE HARRINGTON'S MASTERLIST ♡

❁ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❁

This is a sequel to "Careless Whisper"

✧ Summary : they say "you should leave all the past behind" but what if they deserve a second chance?

✧ Word Count : it might be long but I hope it's worth it

✧ Warnings : 18+ MDNI‼️ Past!Ex-Boyfriend!King Steve! Harrington x FEM!reader, eventual smut, cursing, mentions of bad household, complicated father & son relationship, slight emotion invalidation & misogyny, cheating, separated parents, alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking, child neglect, trauma, intense confrontations, fluff, angst, not giving away anything! don't wanna give you guys ideas 🤭

✧ What to Expect : ANGST, FLUFF AND SMUT‼️reader will be so unsure of him but she'll get there ;)) I promise this will so fast paced, the story goes back to present and past!

✧ Note To Reader : YOOOO y'all making me inspire to write more for Steve! THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT omg- even it's just small numbers of recognition is enough for me 🥺🫶🏻✨

✧ Author Note : I literally tried to think of a better song to associate the next part and my god- my brain was like zapping up to Baby Come back and I was like "THAT'S IT!" 🤩🙌🏻

"Henderson, I already told you not to wipe your feet on the inside of my car"

"Must've slipped off my mind"

"I've been your chaperone- wait a second- I'm your goddamn babysitter for the past 3 years!"

"Just step on it, already!"

"Remind me why I'm being friends with you" Steve turns on the engine of his car and held onto the steering wheel

"It's because I'm a great person"

Steve chuckles as he shakes his head but a fond smile is evident on his lips

"What time should I pick you up?"

"The usual"

Dustin talks about his night yesterday after school with the whole segment of the D&D Campaign, while listening as he kept his eyes on the road, I think he could make a word count on how many times he mentioned Eddie

Steve watches his young friend steps outside of his car, "Okay, see ya"

He's heading on his way to Family Video, where she meets Robin sitting on the front stairs

"What are you doing?" He asks as he gets outside of his car and puts his keys inside of of his pocket

"I guess, we're both too early, too early that Kevin hasn't even arrived yet" Robin stood up as she walks closer to Steve

Steve looked behind him, there's a new diner in town that he hasn't been it yet

"Wanna go there and eat some breakfast?" He nudge his head on the facility that he's looking at

Robin follows his gaze and clasps both of her hands together "Let's go, I'm getting bored here for waiting"

Once they get inside, the smell of brewed black coffee invades both of their noses and the sweet scent of pancakes and waffles

Robin already got an eye on the waitress who is serving some delicious fully packed breakfast plate, she swore that she is drooling over it and it made Steve chuckle

Steve is always been a pancake and bacon kind of a guy, he likes the combination of sweet and salty, so, that's where he is aiming for

Both of them saw a table that is near to window, they sat together across from each other

The male waiter was about to gave them menu's but they dismissed it

He nods gladly as he calls someone else to fill up their order

"Hello, goodmorning, what's your order-"

"Hi, can I get-"

Oh my fucking god

Holy fuck

It's you

His mind is going ablazes because he pretty much knew himself that he has a 20/20 vision

But at this time? All of his insides are overheated

He hasn't seen you since....the prom

Fuck, the memories starts to take him back

You just finished your last school year on that history that you both happened before and you move out of the school

Not only moved out of school, but you also left the town, Hawkins Indiana

Yes, you left.... without sparing him a single word about your departure

The town that you've never wouldn't have thought you could ever get back to

But, this is your hometown where you truly grew up in

You only decided to comeback since

You got homesick

You missed your family, that's why you take the chance to finally be with them

Temporarily

You clear your throat, you try to mask up your expression as you completely forgotten his companion that you briefly glanced and you noticed her confused look at you

She darts back and forth on you and Steve

You remained civilized, "What can I get for you?"

You say softly as you clicked your pen and holding up your notepad

He blinks as he takes a deep breath, "Uh- Pancake and Bacon and Coffee"

Damn, you wished there's a machine to mind sweep your entire memory of him

You still remember it

He still eats the same way

"Okay, um, should I bring creamer and sugar?"

"Yes, please"

Shit, he still makes his coffee the same way too

Fuck, fuck, fuck

Who in the right mind that you chose to have your vacation here?

When you could do it somewhere else

You trust yourself too much that you thought you won't be able to see this familiar face again

You nod but you can feel his eyes on you

You look incredible

Of course, he'll take every chance to look at you

You cut your hair shorter, you even changed it into different shade of color, your natural dark brown is gone, it turned into more lighter brown

The wavy length and the bangs looks so perfect on you is shaping your face that he still does love until now

You dress so differently now too, he could tell by your silver rings and....

A piercing? You have three earlobes now

He adores how you wear your makeup, not too flashy but it enhances your features

He is delighted to see your face again, he never thought that the universe will give him another glimpse of you even is just like this

A part of him that made him sad for a sec, it's understandable that you changed your whole appearance

You changed because you want to forget who you were before

You have to remove every single thing about how you look that reminded of him

Maybe in another life....

You're happy together

You motion to Robin who is still absolutely puzzled from the not so obvious look of recognition form the both of you

She could already tell that is something is deep between the two of you

Before she tells her order, he catches Steve who is not even afraid to gape on you, he's not even trying to hide it until she spoke up and he heard her voice

He got shy all of the sudden and runs his fingers through his hair

"The Breakfast meal?"

"Yeah, right that one"

"A drink along with that?"

"Oh, a cup of coffee too as well"

You nod as you clicked back your pen as you tear off the paper from your notepad

"It'll be ready in a minute" you say, you offer the both of them with a small smile as you finally take your leave

Robin leans forward with her hands together, "Okay, what was that?"

"What?" He acts clueless, he knows Robin won't drop the scenario that just happened

Robin chuckles in amusement "Well, you tell me" she nudges her head to you

He glances at you with those eyes, you can still freaking feel them on you

You start cleaning the table and picked up the tip from a another customer

"Robs-"

"Don't you dare "Robs" me and don't you ever lie to me" she throws her hands up as she raises both of her eyebrows at him

He sighs as he scratches the back of his neck

"Do I really need to tell you?" He shuts his eyes for a second as he takes a deep breath

"Uh yeah? Because that look it isn't something that is far beyond that you just know the person"

"You knew her"

She leans backward as she crosses both of her arms

She can't even tell if she just struck off a nerve or offended him

"I'm just messing with you, dingus, it's okay-"

"No-No, it's just-" he exhales

"it's been a while since I saw her" he speaks in a voice that his bestfriend couldn't ever expected to hear

It sounds so broken, it increases her pique of interest even more

What happened?

"I hesitated because-" he looks at her with guilty eyes "I think you're not going to look at me in the same way ever again"

Robin listens intently as she gestures her to keep going

"I am here to reassure you that I'm not going to judge you"

"I did something bad in the past, Robin, but I've changed"

"We all have done something wrong in our lives, Steve, the right way to do is to face it, hold yourself accountable for it, and learn from it, but that doesn't make you a bad person"

He looked at you again, you are now serving someone else a vanilla milkshake

"Yeah, you're probably right, but to her? I am"

Flashback to 1986

He spent all of his allowance that his father gave to him

All of his money going out all night in the town

The prom was one month ago

One month ago

He trying to do anything to get you out of his mind

He drank a lot of alcohol and gets drunk most of the time

But when the morning comes, it felt like he needs to start it all over again

He realizes that trying to forget you, it's just a waste of time

He wants you to come back, he needs you to come back

He'll do anything for it

Anything at all

He knows it won't be easy

He angrily crumpled and tear off all of the pictures that he had with his friends

Friends that aren't not even real

He knows that you're right about him, it's just his own stubborn mind who refuses it

He hates himself

No, scratch that, he loathes himself for becoming like this

His mom's words were very dear to him even it's just a simple phrase

"Don't try to be something that you're not"

Don't be a fucking people pleaser

Now, he got the point why you don't like these titles at school

The social cliques at the campus

It's also his own fault that he got into this

He wanted to be somebody

Even it hurts people that he loves the most

So, that same morning, he is so determined to be different this next coming school year

He trashed everything that upsets him, he even ditched some of his varsity jackets, all of his trophies he put them all in a case and placed them on the attic

Everyone is going crazy how he acted so differently at school

He just rolls his eyes at it, god, now he really fucking gets it why you're so ick to this

"They're so overdramatic at this stuff, I mean- what's the damn point?!?" your voice echoes to his mind

That's where he retired of being King Steve

Everytime he heard someone mentioning it, he just grimaces, winces and even cringed at it

He doesn't even Iike to be called on that name anymore

Sure, he is still good at his academics and sports but now ever since he pulled that "dropping his title" at school?

He is now getting the treatment of true colors

Now, he is out of that barrier of being on the top popular guy at school

His eyes and mind opened at your perspective

He can see it why, fuck, that adds more salt to the wound

He cannot even blame anyone for making him being this way

Maybe, high school is tough that's why he did it

But then, he notices a pattern of events on his life

Fuck, he is just like his father

He rarely visits the house and just talking about his work and didn't gave him a chance to speak what is going with his only son

He never paid attention, never even cared, not even felt any affection to him

But when he does, he just snaps at him, and tell him that being emotional is weak

Having feelings are weak?

How fucked up is that?

So, he kept his mouth shut even though he wanted to yell at his father

The only parent that he felt being loved is his own mom

His mom that left them both behind, he can still remember it

Because why?

His father cheated on her too

It's like a damn cycle, it making him violently vomit at the thought of it,

History repeats itself

He made a promise to himself that he won't ever be like his father

But, he already done it and it angers him even more

"Hey, Steve" he opens and locks the door behind him

Not "Hey, son" am I even your son? He thinks to himself as he keeps his eyes on the television his own father doesn't even noticed the obvious scowl on his face

"There's this woman at work, who-" he chuckles in a salacious way and it sends shivers down to his spine

"Who slapped me right after I kissed her and told me that she isn't interested in me" he chuckles yet again as he removes his coat

"She wears that outfit and expect me not to do anything? She did that in order to seduce me, she wants it" he scoffs as he shakes his head

He gotten so uncomfortable, he starts shifting from his seat

Steve needed this bottled up emotions to blow up

He wants and he needs his father to hear him out

"That's what you did to, Mom, too, huh?"

The silence is too loud, Steve is so fucking insane for doing this confrontation but he has to do it or else he will lose his mind

"What the fuck did you just say?" His dad grumbles as he stares down at his son with a fire on his eyes

He glares at him as he chuckles dryly, "You're so messed up that it hurts" he spats

"What are you even talking about?" He pushed him by the shoulder

"I hate that you're my dad!" He does the same action as he stumbles back, Steve thought his mind playing tricks at him but he swore for a brief moment that he saw his dad cracked

He is guilty, he is ashamed of it, he knows he is not a perfect father, he is not proud of it

15 year old, Steve would've been shitted on his pants for doing this but he is not afraid of it anymore

He is completely appalled, lost for words, the way his narcissistic exterior washed out on instant

"I lost the girl that I ever truly loved because of you!" He points at himself with anger and sadness swirling into his eyes

"Do you think it's easy for me to live out my life there knowing that my own fucking father is proud to have this mindset?!?" He steps closer as he makes hand motions to his head

"I can't just push you away because why? You're my dad, I-I can't just do that" He throws his hands up as he sighs in exasperation

"I-I have so much things that I wanted to scream out loud for you to hear because I've been carrying it for a long time and it really sucks because this argument isn't going to change anything" He is trying to so hard not to bawl in front of his old man but it his voice wavered badly but he didn't care

This is the most unfiltered thing he has ever done in his life and he knows for sure this will help him....A lot

"You've gone soft, Steve, that's the real world"

He looks at him with furrowed brows as he shooks his head

"I'm not gonna grow up to be just like you, asshole" He laughs incredulously as he starts picking up his shoulder bags and luggage

"Where do you think you're going, young man?"

"I'm going to leave because I'm sick of you and this big house"

"You're not able to survive out there without my help"

"You know for the first time in forever made me realize having a enormous fortune isn't necessary in life sometimes"

"You listen here-"

"What is fortune when you don't even have a good fucking relationship with your parents and household"

That's where he slams the door shut and breathes out a really long satisfying sigh with a proud smile on his face

He feels good, he feels great, he feels he has done something wonderful in his life

This is just the start of it

He takes his car keys and drove away like nothing ever happened

"Steve! Earth to Steve!" Robin clapping her hands right across to her bestfriends face

"What- I'm sorry" he says as he began shifting on his seat

"Okay, so to be clear, y'all are highschool sweethearts before-" Robin squints her eyes as she make gestures to her expressive hands

"and I was...." His shoulders slumped down, he doesn't even want to finish the sentence

"King Steve" Robin shrug both of her shoulders as she gave a sympathetic smile

"yeah" A small but sad smile flashes on his lips as he ducks his head down in shame

Robin is obviously needs some more information to fully understand what happened to your relationship with him

"Is it so bad?"

"is far more than bad, Robs"

"Did you kill someone?"

Steve eyes widened as he genuinely laughed, "N-No- I didn't!"

She chuckles but she is glad she made him laugh, "So, what is it then?"

He just made this one look to Robin and as she tries to read his eyes, her smile drops

"Oh"

As if you we're on cue, you placed their orders on their table as Robin made a stressful brush up to her hair as she glances at you

"Your order's are complete, just call me if you're ready to-"

"We can pay now" Robin's voice is firm but a hint of disappoint surrounding at the tone of her voice

You looked over at Steve for a sec who still gave you those pleading eyes as you tried your best to look away as you gave the receipt to them

You've taken both of their payment as you walk away quietly

Did just Steve talked about you to her?

Fuck

"Robin- I"

"I know it's in the past, It isn't my place to open up the wound again" she sighs as she tug up a smile to him

He smiles as he nods to her words, he is worried that this could ruin their friendship

"But I am fond that you chose to change, Steve, you changed for her" she places her palm on top of his as she pats it gently

"Do you still love her?" Robin asks him as she tries to search his eyes

She can see it, the same devotion is still there, it never died and it never will be

His last words to you echoed into his mind

"I can't never love again, I only want you"

And it truly did

He still does

Robin chuckles slightly to Steve with those lovesick eyes, "Of course, you do"

"You can't never get over with your first love"

You're done with the night as you put on your jacket along with your sling bag on the shoulder

But when the time you got inside of your car, your vehicle won't start up everytime you try it won't ever run

You sigh in frustration "Goddamn it!"

You look over to the other side of the road, you saw Steve locking up the doors at the Family Video

Shit, the universe is really testing you

You walked outside of your car as you close the door with a slam as you start to pace around it

You fumbled with the stuff inside of your bag as you pulled out a cigarette stick and you flick the lighter in your pocket

You inhale deeply as you blow out the smoke, you massage the back of your neck as you try to figure how to get the fuck outta here

You're mad that you're hopeless to get home

The last thing that you wanna do and the last option is to get ride home with Steve

You felt a hand behind you, you shrieked as you almost punched him in the face

"Woah- it's just me!" He held both of your wrist as he takes as step foot back to dodge your aim

You huff as you tap off the excess from your cigarette, you mumbled a small "sorry"

Well, isn't this great? Your first conversation with him after what??? 3 years???

He doesn't want to react because he hasn't seen you smoke before, I mean- you can do what you want but both of you really did changed

Did you developed anything else such as bad habits? that added another pang into his chest seeing you do things that you've never done before

He looked over to your car, "What happened?"

You blew out the smoke as turn your head into the other side, you try your best to remain calm but it feels all too much when he is this close to you "My car won't start"

"I can take you home, I know a place that can fix your car tomorrow" he suggest as he offers you a ride home respectfully, you can see that

Something is not right to him and it's giving you the creeps not in a bad way but why do he seems so nice? Is it because of you or he changed too?

You have no other choice, the terminal closes up pretty early, so, there's no train or bus to take

Only for tonight, just this night

You blew out the last smoke as you stub the cigarette into the nearest ashtray near the trash can

His eyes are glued to you, he watches your every move, of course, he knows that you wanna wrap this all up and forget all of this ever happened

As much as he wanted to talk to you ask you if you're okay, he respects your peace and boundaries

"Okay" you walk back up to him as the both of you crossed the road

What the fuck? Is he a gentleman now? You're not used to him like this, opening up the car door for you?

You flashed him a small but also confused smile as he jogs into the driver's seat

You saw the oh so familiar necklace that hangs on the rearview mirror

You made that necklace to him

Why does he still keep it?

He starts the engine as he put his hand over the headrest as he drives backwards

The drive was....so awkward and how quiet it is ringing to his brain

You just busied yourself watching all of the scenery outside in the car window as you passed by into different places

He takes his chances to glance at you

My god, he can't believe that you can still made him feel like this way

You crossed your leg that made your skirt rides up a little, he clears his throat

"Uh, so, which way should I go to?"

"Just turn here" you point out to him

He brings the car around the different small houses and his breath staggered he recognizes it

Oh, you're here because of your family

You're only having a vacation

"Stop here!" The tires screech as he stops abruptly and you accidentally bring yourself closer to him that he almost almost can kiss your lips in just one move

His breath hitched at the gap between the two of you

Your eyes flit to his and to his lips

It felt like eons that you both just stare for each other at the moment

You know and he knows

Fuck, you still love him

"I-I gotta go" you slowly move back up as you open the door but before you get outside, you softly say "thank you" and closed the door

You didn't give him a chance to reply as you quickly grab your house keys to unlock the front door

He sighs as he massages his forehead, he rolls up the windows before you get inside

"Take care" he says as you only nod and closed the door behind you

You squeezed your eyes shut at whatever that was inside of his car

"What are you even looking for?" He says not looking at you as he looks at a Nazareth vinyl

"Michael Jackson's Bad album" you say as you squealed gleefully when you found the one you were looking for

"We're going to be late for the movie, sweetheart" he hold both of your shoulders to grab your attention

"They're aren't going to start without us, Eddie" you say as you smirk at him as you walk away

"We have to buy popcorn-" he whines jokingly as he kept being all dramatic while he slings his arm around yours

"and drinks and other goodie stuff, I know, I'm just gonna pay this, stay calm" you giggled as you excitedly take the purchased album into your hands

"Hey, Eddie!" The same girl with the dusty blonde hair greets him the same time as you both are about to leave the record store

You can't never avoid him, huh?

She looks at you and your hand is wrapped around his forearm as she gives you a small wave

You only nod and smile, Steve is right behind her

"Dude, what's up?" Eddie greets him, right you forgot they studied in the same school

Of course, they knew each other, except for you because you left

You're nervous because of what Steve might think of you but you can't see anything on his face and his eyes

He doesn't seemed to mind that you're with someone else, there's no jealousy, mockery, sarcasm as he talks to Eddie

He doesn't even noticed how close you are at the metalhead

Meanwhile, Robin saw how you study him, but you look away you don't want to make him realize that you still care for him after all of this time and as she does as well

"Where are you two going?" Steve beams as he takes in how divine you look, Eddie didn't even catches it

"To the movies!" Eddie grins as he pulls you by his side as you roll your eyes playfully

"Are you guys going to watch Batman?" Robin gasps as she watches Eddie eyes goes big in excitement

"Yeah" you nod at her, Robin who is surprised that's the first ever interaction that you just had with her, so, she decided to introduce herself to you

"I'm Robin, by the way, I'm the bestfriend of Steve- ow!" He hits her by the shoulder as you chuckle in amusement in the way Robin punctuates and emphasizes the words to you

"We gotta go now" Eddie chuckles as he wraps his arms around you, but halts his tracks as he remembers something

"Sure, see you later" Steve nods as he purses his lips together as the both of them step inside

"Harrington, you could invite her to your party!" Eddie points at you and your close your eyes in embarrassment

You didn't tell Eddie about your history together with Steve but you did kinda....throw some hints at him about your past but didn't reveal the real name

Party? He still does that? you think to yourself

You saw how Steve became jittery all of the sudden as he tries to drop the topic right away but Robin, a glint of mischief on her eyes as she snaps her fingers at Eddie

Damn, you got yourself invited but you grew amused to the mystery girl

"I can't fucking believe you did that" he glares at his bestfriend who is pretending to be innocent as she walks away from him

"Oh- please, don't act that you didn't want that" she scoffs at his in denial behavior as she saw a vinyl that is similar to his situation

"You still want her, right?" Robin smirks as she gives the vinyl to him who is now gauging at his reaction

He takes the vinyl out of her hands without looking at it first but he laughs as soon as he saw the title

"Baby Come Back by The Player"

She wiggles her brows at him, he tries to kick her by the leg but she managed to dodge it

"Don't fuck it up this time, dingus"

"Trust me, I won't"

You had fun watching Batman with Eddie, he'll be right back with you as he headed at the men's restroom

You overheard a kid who is very defensive with his bestfriend, you try not to pry but until you heard the name "King Steve"

You've never looked around so fast in your entire life and your eyes fall onto the boy

"You're being friends with a douchebag-"

"He is not a douchebag!"

"Yeah, right, I heard he break girl's hearts like it was nothing-"

"T-That's not true!"

God, your mind is saying no but your heart is making you walk towards him

Curiosity got the best of you as you listen closely, but you stay alerted when things get heated

The poor kid, huffs as he shifts on his stance as he watches the two young ones left him

"He doesn't even like that name anymore, what a bunch of assholes"

"Hey, are you okay?"

He quickly swipes the tears away "Y-Yeah, I'm good"

He probably doesn't even remember you, "Dustin, right?"

"Yeah"

You smile sweetly at the kid, you really shouldn't ask a lot about him but you feel mystified of what you just witnessed, "Was that true? about what you said at Steve?"

"He cares a lot, he loves a lot, he is willing to do anything just to protect- Wait a second- who are you anyway?" He was getting into until he realizes that he is talking to a stranger and he paused

The kid missed the endearment on your eyes as you blink rapidly, you looked over your shoulder as you saw Eddie searching for you

"I'm gonna go now, bye" you say as he tries to chase you but you got lost in the crowd until he can't no longer see you

"Whoever that person is, that's so bizarre" he speaks for himself

"I have to tell this to Steve at the upcoming party"

He is not looking forward to it

But he wishes you were

He doubt that you will show up over at his house

But, honest to god, he thought the time stopped when I saw you walking by alongside with Eddie and Robin

His brain is muddled and his heart rate is increasingly so fast

"Hey, Steve-" Dustin jogs over to him but his mind is elsewhere as the door swings open

"Here we are" Eddie does his classic antics as he opens his arms as you chortled

"Welcome" Steve steps aside as he lets you all walk in

"Where's the drinks?" Robin feels so at home like she unashamedly looks through his refrigerator

"It's literally 7pm- don't you dare drink-" He puts his hands over his hips as he reasons with Robin

"Not that- I'm just thirsty" Robin rolls her eyes as she tries to explain

"You?" Dustin loudly made a sound that all of the guests caught their attention

You give him a small wave and a crooked smile and now you're regretting attending this

Steve clocked your reaction as he hold your shoulder leading you away from him

"Why are you pointing at her, Henderson?" Eddie is perplexed as he tries to understand the situation

"You mean- you didn't know?" Dustin bunches up his eyebrows at the metalhead

Steve glares at Robin who winced at the look that his bestfriend just gave him

"I think, you might want to sit down, Munson"

Steve has taken you in the backyard as he slides the door close

Oh, hell no

Not this place

Steve cringes what he just realized but he tries to keep his composure

"You still do parties, huh?"

He stare at you for a second, are you actually having a conversation with him?

"Uh no- we're going to have a movie marathon, not a party"

"Oh" you nod slowly in understanding as you stare at the swimming pool, you breathe in deeply as you keep your hands to yourself

Your sight of vision fell into Eddie, Robin, Dustin bickering at each other as you saw the guilty look on your metalhead bestfriend directed at you as you send him a small smile as you look away yet again

"I see that you told them"

"I-I'm sorry, I only told Robin-"

"Save it, Steve" your voice has gotten serious unlike earlier, but he can see it in your eyes that you're fighting between your emotions

You're trying your best to resist yourself for giving yourself away too fast

Steve's shoulders tensed as he looked up into the sky to find the right words to say to you

You deserve to know that, he needs you to know that him and Robin are nothing more than a platonic friendship

"Robin is just my bestfriend, she helped me"

"Help you?....with what?" You knit your brows together as you look at him in question with your arms crossed

"I- uh- I moved away from my dad after we- to live on my own independently" He suddenly became shy as he scratches the back of his neck as he averts his gaze somewhere else

That's where he truly see your eyes soften as your eyes went everywhere to his face

He can communicate properly with you now?

He is actually saying the truth to you?

You're not used to it and he knows he doesn't blame you

Before you can reply, Dustin calls out at the both of you as Steve sighs when you're the first one to walk away from him

"Hey, are you okay? dude?" Dustin asks him sincerely

"Yeah, man, I'm good" He lies, as he gives his young bestfriend a forced smile

False bravado, that's the mask that he's wearing all the time ever since you reappeared again

Tryna' keep up a smile that hides a tear

He wants you so bad, but how he will ever to win you back?

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry, I didn't know-"

"It's fine, Eddie, it's not your fault"

"Do you want to leave?"

"No, I'm gonna stay, Eddie- it's alright, I promise"

"Just tell me, if you're not up for it anymore, okay?"

"Okay"

Everyone is a blobbering mess after seeing Dead Poets Society, except for you and Steve

You caught him giving you those eyes yet again like he was begging for you

Begging for you to give him a chance

He wants to talk to you, the scariest thing you could ever say to him that your doors are chained and he'll understand

But the thing is that, he can't live without you

He'll do anything to persuade you, convince you, make you believe that he is nothing like the "Steve" the one you've met before

If he could go back in time, he would redo everything

The moment when everyone is leaving and saying their goodbyes

He took your hand and he must swallow his shock because you let him hold you for the first time in forever

Eddie even talked to him while you were distracted by Robin, by him saying "I don't know what happened between the two of you that much but.... I'd get her back, man, whatever it takes"

"Can we talk?" He whispers as he puts you in the corner where no one else can see you both

"Steve-"

"Just give me the chance to make you see-"

Oh, Steve's brain just mushed down

Because you're fucking kissing him

He recovers as he cupped both of your cheeks as he gives into you

Your hand gets lost to his hair, god- he misses that a lot, your sweet scent, he's inhaling it so much that electrocutes his brain

The kiss went into seconds, minutes and feels like an hour

You don't know what's gotten into you but you know you're going to blame yourself for this

You already told yourself that your guard is up

But, your heart tells no otherwise and your body reacted, so, positively that it flushed down closer to his

You stopped yourself as you saw him chasing after your lips but then he saw how hurt you look, his heart drops to his stomach as he gulped

He is flustered and so are you, but he sees the recognition in your eyes, the realization

He flinched the way you angrily punched him in the chest all of the sudden as you wept in front of him

No words thrown out between the two of you

It's the same damn kiss

It never changed, it still feels the same, moves the same, the way both of your lips melded into one another is a complete shocker to you

He didn't care about your outburst as he let the tears fall from his face as he embraces you instead

He starts caressing your head as he tries to keep you calm on his warm hug

You held onto his shirt in a fist that you violently sobbed face flat in front of his chest

As much as you wanted to stay in that area

You begrudgingly dragged yourself away from him as you walked outside, not giving him a second look

He knocks off one of his picture frames as he slides his back down against the wall as he started crying

Love is embarrassing, isn't it?

3 years, 3 goddamn years, you both still yearn for each other

Your first kiss after 3 years invaded his mind the entire night, he stares at the empty space of his bed

God, he wishes that you were here next to him on his arms

You've never packed up your stuff so fast in your entire life

You're ready to leave first thing in the morning

The door bell rings and you hold your breath for a second

"Oh no, not you- Steve-" you tried to close the door but no to avail as he stepped his foot to prevent you from for not letting him in

He glanced at your luggage and bags that makes his stomach twist

"Have you used up all of it?" He says as he kept his eyes on you

"W-What are you even talking about?!?" You threw your notepad in the near table, fuck- you shouldn't have double checked too much on your lists before going out

He got you now, you can't escape this

"All the love in your heart"

That's where you avoid his eyes as he moves closer to you

"Ain't there nothing left for me?"

"Steve- stop!"

"That's right-"

"What-"

"A lot of people that I know what I did to you was foolish, anyone can see it"

You let your stubborn attitude subside as you listen to him

"There's was something and everything about you"

You take out a shuddering gasp as your eyes burn from the threatening tears

"You can blame it all on me, I was wrong, baby, I-I just can't live without you"

He could've done this before

Take the responsibility of his actions and not to sugarcoat every word and have the guts to hold the accountability of his mistakes

"Steve, you gotta move on-" you lie what you truly feel, what's stopping you?

"Baby come back, come back to me, please"

"S-Steve, I don't know if I can trust you-"

"I didn't realized what I had when you're were mine!"

Your guarded demeanor has shunned off as you let your arms dropped to your sides

"I-I confronted my dad after one month ago when we go on our separate ways, I-I know this is unbelievable but I removed everything that you didn't like with me, my friends, my title, all of it, and it did helped me to become a better person"

He looks straight into your eyes, he never looks away as he tries to make you understand

"And I'm so very sorry that pulling up that fucked up shit that I did before just so I can improve myself and to have a character development was utter bullshit, hurting you was never right"

You purse lips together as you shake your head in disbelief

"What I said back there was still true too"

"What do you mean?"

"That no matter what you do to me, whatever happens to the both of us, I'd still love you"

He cries, his face glows so red as he takes in every feeling that he's receiving

You're the first one yet again to kiss him

He yelped as he brings you closer to him, your hands went through his hair as you throw your arms around him, he dives in deeper earning a moan out of you

He breaks out of the kiss, your face went pale but he shuts off your thoughts with the words

"You sure, you want to do this?"

"Steve, yes, I do, I want you like you want me, I need you like I need you-"

You're about to dove back on him aggressively but something feels so different on his touches, it's not foreign but it's making you want to bawl at how he is so soft with you

His eyes crinkle in awe and delightment as he couldn't get anymore happier

He carries you upstairs as he puts you onto the bed carefully

He removes his shirt and his pants, you get out of your shoes and when you're about to remove the straps of your dress, he beats you to it as he slowly takes it off but not without kissing your neck

His hands goes under your skirt as he plays with the garter of your panties

You spoke his name so decadent that he nearly melted down on you

You held onto him by the shoulder blades as he finds the zipper on the back your dress, he unzips carefully and lovingly as he takes his sweet time to adore and treasure every single moment of you

This is not just sex, he never looked at you like the one from before only filled with lust

This is love and admiration and it touches your heart so deeply that it might've been stop beating for a few moments

It's unreal that he is doing this to you, it's also unreal that you let him do this to you

When all of it's left is your paired black lacy undergarments

You both stare together for a while as you held his cheeks as he rests on it

He smiles so wide that it actually hurts and so are you, your smile lingered everytime he looks at you

You raise yourself using your elbows as he unclasp your bra, he threw your bra across the floor somewhere, he can't help but to kiss you again, you mewl as you fall back down on the mattress, you grind yourself against him as he groans when felt how wet you are

You kept grinding yourself onto him as he grants your wish as the friction increases more

Next thing to remove is your panties, you whine, when he licked a stripe into your cunt

"Steve-"

"Yes, baby?"

"I wanna feel you"

You don't need him to ask him twice as his boxers flew off somewhere

He carefully enters your sopping aching hole as you both moan in pleasure

Your jaw falls slack as your furrowed brows crumpled up even more as you adjust to his size

He kisses every part of your body, worships it while you're losing your mind of how it feels so fucking good just like before

"F-Fuck" he curses, praising you as he kisses your jaw

He watches how your cunt clamps sucking him inch by inch, he grunts when you start clenching around him

You're drooling, your eyes are fucked out, you're brain is mashed up

You're a fucking goner

He kneads your breasts as you moan even louder, the squelching sounds that comes in and out of you is music to his ears

"S-Steve, pleas-e move!" you squeal and your voice becomes so tiny that you bit your lip

He spreads your legs far more wide as he grabs your hips harder

You arch your back when he picks up the pace and hitting the spot were you're mostly addicted

"Oh!"

Your eyes roll backwards as your mouth hangs "0" shapes as Steve watches your expression contorts in pleasure

Breasts are jiggling, he goes faster and faster, he places himself on the crook of your neck as he puts lovebites all over it

You locked him in place as you can't keep your suppressed screams any longer

"Steve!"

"Christ-"

You scream his name so loud that his brain shortcircuit as you both came undone

He peels himself off of you but you held him close

"No, don't pull out just yet"

You tap him by the shoulders as you switched positions, he let out a sharp gasp at the angle that you're on top of him

Despite the overstimulation, you grind yourself onto him

"Woah- baby, fuck-"

"Yeah?"

"Don't give me that look- I'm gonna bust"

You giggled as you close your eyes at the sweet sensation as your brows pulled together and you moan when you start to bounce on his cock

Holy fucking shit, you rocked up his world

His hands are everywhere literally setting you on fire, he brings you closer as you continue to do your job as you look at him with blacked out eyes

His eyes got even more darker as he copies your move making your head fell onto the side allowing him the access to kiss your neck

You both went off to one another as you both entered another climax

You fell asleep together after 3 years

The scenario you'll never thought you could experience again

You woke up in a cold empty bed as you look around in your room, you can't see his clothes anymore, maybe he's in downstairs

The last night events flashes right before your very eyes as you bring your knees up

A tinge of pink on your cheeks as you try to remember every detail happened last night you were so beyond elated and in a complete bliss

You wore your dress again as you went downstairs only to find Robin

"Robin?" You ask in confusion, not that you don't want her here but it's just so random

"Hi" she waves awkwardly as she scratches her head

"What are you doing in here? Where's Steve?" You look for him again but it seems like he left

"Don't freak out-" She breathes out

You raise both of your eyebrows as you motion for her to continue

"He's at the airport" She says as she starts following you making you stay focus but she has no power to control you

"What?" You take your car keys as you went inside the vehicle and turn on your engine

"Wait- stop! He didn't told me the reason why! He just said he'll be at the airport!" She shouts out loud as she rests her back against your front door

"Okay, I'll be here at your house! Steve and his ridiculous lovelife- I swear to god- I'm gonna kick him in the ass" she slumps down in defeat as she mutters words under her breath

Why would he leave you?

Fuck, no- did he regret it again?

Tears well up in your eyes as your stomach began to churn as you fighting for your dear life to get into the airport as fast as you could

No, Steve wouldn't- stop overthinking- maybe, he has a reason

He won't just leave you like this, you felt how soft and he made you feel like you're the only person on his life

He made you think that the both of you had a future

So, why would he leave without a word?

You ran as your feet can take you, but when you saw the airplane takes it flight, you rest your head against the window and sobbed

The familiar voice calls your name and you look around a bewildered Steve who is now walking towards you

"Baby, what are you doing-"

"I thought you left me" you hold him tight as you looked at him in the eyes

"You're not going to leave me? Are you?" Your voice sounds so small that he doesn't want to see you crying anymore

"Honey, I'm here, I would rather jump off a cliff for leaving you all alone again, okay?" He reassures you as your worried features decreases but there's still uncertainty on your eyes as he takes a deep breath

"Robin is in the house, I don't-" he cuts you off as he tuts

"Ah-ah, let me speak- the airline called me in the morning and told me that the schedule that I booked in for is going to take off and of course, that would be a disaster since I used half of my expenses for the flight right? So, I made a decision on the spot- I called Robin to accompany you because you were peacefully asleep, baby, I don't wanna wake you and I was about to come back to you and tell you that you're coming with me" he held up in front of your face of two airplane tickets

Your unsureness totally fades away as you look at the ticket, you read aloud what it says

"Chicago?"

"Yeah, I'm going to take you with me while I study for college"

"I actually want to take master's degree too"

"Yeah? We can go together"

A big smile grows on your lips as you step forward to him as he closes the gap and gives you the most promising kiss

"We better start packing up soon"

"We sure are"

"I love you"

He kisses your cheek, "I don't think I could love you more, baby, I love you more than anything"

•

special mention to @savage-aespa, this person here is the main reason why I made this fic! literally giving me an idea that there's a possibility for them to be together and I hope I did my job alright! I'm sorry, it took me a month to finish this up and if you made it here, thank you so so much for reading, your support and your kindness will always be appreciated! take care always! 🥹🫶🏻✨

[wolvesofinnistrad]

Read on Ao3 Here.

Its been about 6 months. 

6 of the best months of a relationship Buck has ever had. And its not even about it being a guy, discovering his bisexuality. Its just... Tommy.

Hes great in so many ways, and the dynamic is so different that for the first time Buck has been able to relax, not always feel like hes chasing after someone. Actually, hes found out he quite likes being the one that gets chased, romanced, flirted with.

Everything is going great and hes even, in the back of his mind, been starting to think this might be it, this might be a long term thing after all which he'd have never expected. And then Eddie fucks it all up by telling him his most recent girlfriend, Beatrice or something Buck honestly hasn't kept track lately, broke up with him because quote "i can never have a place in your life when you've got Buck so entrenched in it."

Hes never had anyone imply that his and Eddies friendship, the little family hes made with Eddie and Chris, is somehow wrong or off-putting. Eddie was more annoyed than anything and didn't seem to care. But Buck... Buck got worried. Not because he cared about what Betty or whatever thought, but because he wondered if it wasn't true. If maybe their dynamic would scare people off eventually, and did that mean it would scare Tommy off as well?

So that's how hes sitting here, curled under a blanket on the couch, a new sectional he bought because Tommy's back didn't get enough support in the last one, spilling his guts to his boyfriend. When hes done he looks up at Tommy, expecting, well, something. Anger, confusion, heartbreak, but... Its not there. Tommy smiles at him, placing a hand on his leg over the blanket. "Evan... i understand how important Eddie and Chris are to you. I would never make you choose. I would never try to cut them out or deny you that."

Buck takes that in sits with it for a moment but finds it doesn't fully alleviate his concerns.

"But what if... i mean, if were together, you know, for the long haul. It wont affect you? What i have with them?"

Tommy smiles, he looks away for a minute and laughs.

"Can i be really honest with you Evan?" He says, meeting his eyes now. 

Buck nods.

Tommy inches closer, drawing up one of his legs beneath him. "When we first started dating i knew you all were close, but i didn't really understand until later that you were a 'family.'" He pauses, thinks. "But when i did, yeah, there was a moment i was a little worried where i fit in. Where there was space for me in your life. And then i had an idea, and once i wrapped my head around it that way, re-conceptualized how i looked at things, it didn't scare me anymore."

Now that's surprising to hear, Buck wants to know what could have so easily changed his mind. "And what was it that made you not worry then?"

Again Tommy laughs. "I started thinking of Eddie like he was your ex husband."

Bucks eyes bug out a bit. "My what?!"

Tommy shrugs. "It was easier in my head than just saying your best friend who you're co-parenting with. I've dated guys with kids, with exes before. It wasn't a stretch to think of it like Eddie was your ex and Chris was your kid from another relationship. Once i put it in my head like that, i didn't worry about whether we could have a life together. You'll always be tied to them, but it didn't mean you couldn't have a life with me to." He reached over and took Bucks hand, squeezed it tight. "And honestly Evan? I'm starting to think I'd like that. A life with you."

Despite how weird it is to think of his little family with Eddie and Chris that way, how Tommy sees it, there's something relief and happiness coursing through him. Knowing that Tommy's already figured out how he can keep some of the most important people in his life and incorporate them into a new life hes building for himself. For him and Tommy. 

"Evan?" Tommy asks, scootching closer on the couch, their knees knocking together.

Buck realizes its been too long since he's said anything, but when he speaks he simply says "move in with me."

For all of a second Tommy looks shocked, then elated, then seemingly guarded. "Evan... You don't have to lock me down or something i just exp-"

Buck cuts him off, "its not that. Trust me, I've done that before. Held on so tight, clung because i was scared of being left behind. This isn't that. This is..." he stops, lets his mind and body calm enough to get this right. "This is me holding on because I don't want to let go. Because i want to stay, right here, with you. I'm not scared of being left anymore, I'm scared of not putting down roots. Of not letting the best boyfriend I've ever had,"

"Only," Tommy interjects.

"Best," Buck reiterates, gripping his hand tighter, boyfriend I've ever had know that i want this. I want him. I want a life with you too. And hearing that i think, it was just the final thing falling into place, the last weight weighing on me. I... I've been thinking of asking you for a while, but i wanted so bad to get it right this time. And i think i am, but Tommy." He looks into his eyes. "Tommy you're the first time I've felt like if i got it wrong it would still be okay, we could make it work anyway. So move in with me. Please. Or.. heck, we could get a place of our own if you like?"

Tommy kisses him then. Its slow and passionate but all consuming. Its like nothing hes ever had before. And it feels so right. For once it feels Right.

A week later Tommy sends him a photo of a house for rent. Rent to own actually.

"Wheres that at?" He asks, because its a nice place, he can see the potential.

"Its literally a block away from Eddie's house, I saw it as I was driving away." He says, and Buck can almost hear the laugh and smug smile miles away.

"Its perfect." He writes back. But what he means is, 'you're perfect.'

[elgatt0]

Inside Wolves

Hoie ^3^)つ

I always liked the villain/evil AU theme, and after reading this wonderful fic by @tashilover, I decided to put into practice an idea that was hammering in my mind for a long time!

⚠️Note: the following story will tackle some topics that may not be suitable for everyone (death, blood and such) But I promise to hold back and not leave anything too absurd. I will try

(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

======================

Chapter I

"Rabbits that live in burrows dug by wolves do not spend on burials"

==============================

Legend pov

"It's late. The sun sets and darkness rises, we better stop here." Mr. blue scarf speaks very politely.

Everything he does is always politey, I'm sure he's like that even when he shits.

To be fair, Mr scarf is a captain in his era. He fought in wars and led troops, so barking orders and having nice hair is his second nature...

Being a bastard is the first.

Everyone knows, he knows and seems to be proud of it, I wish hylia have mercy when that vain being starts talking about women.

"We're not going to use a bonfire tonight" he still didn't get tired of talking "Terrain is unknown, as well as the monsters here. The strong flames will attract unwanted attention, an oil lantern should be enough for us." I hate to admit it, but he's competent at what he does.

"Now that you mentioned , we've been walking through the forest all day , strange that we haven't encountered any monsters...or anything alive" Someone comments. Little guy, being observant as usual. If the trees could hear I'm sure they'd be offended by that last sentence.

Ah yes, new adventure, new faces, same name. But I already solved the last problem.

"Strange don't you think? It seems as if the forest is mourning" Cloud head agrees "It doesn't match at all what the villagers told us."

"Not only words, nothing was matching in that village."

The old man, many things with him don't match either. The tattoos that go with that pale eye emanate something ancient, dangerous, maybe divine? I don't know, I feel a strange sense of unease about them. But that doesn't matter, for now.

Everyone in that village was hiding something, far beyond secrets. I felt like I could find a corpse at any moment.

"I think we were fooled, one way or another" Looks like I'm not the only one who feels this way.

All the others fell into silence as morbid as the forest, lost in their minds as they prepared for the night. I bet that just like me, everyone is processing everything that happened these last days.

Having your butt ripped out of your house through a dark portal and thrown into a totally unknown place with 8 other incarnations of your spirit to travel aimlessly and fight demons is a really wonderful experience, I don't blame them.

May Hylia pay my therapy.

It hasn't been long since we started this journey, despite knowing that we have shared the same spirit, yet we are not the same person.

It feels like we've become more strangers than allies with each passing day. Not hating each other but not fully trusting either.

I shake my head as if to throw my thoughts away and toss my bag and boots aside. Lying down, I don't bother to take off the extra layers of my clothes. I'll likely wake up sore, but I don't care.

Behind me, the sailor brat seemed uncomfortable with the silence. Not enduring these calm seas, he decided to break the awkward silence and started talking about food, which seemed to liven up the tense atmosphere a bit. But I wasn't interested in joining, eating now seemed cloying.

Using my hands as a pillow, I gaze up at the dark starless sky. It's odd, we are in the middle of nowhere far from any dazzling light from towns or villages, I should be complaining about the brightness of the stars, not the absence.

I keep facing the darkness until an apple shakes my thoughts out of my head, again. I sit up, rubbing my aching forehead and look at the one who will wake up with a mouth full of ants.

"Stop the drama and eat. I bet the poison that comes off your tongue is more potent than anything I could put in food" Forget the ants, I'll smother him with his damn fancy scarf.

"And I bet my kick can make that butt flatter than it is" I don't normally put salt on the wound...

I use oil and set it on fire.

And it burned badly, leaving the captain's face flushed a pure red. "Why, you little s-"

"Enough" The old man intervenes with a firm voice "Veteran, eat. Hunger won't do anyone any good" I think about arguing until he gives me that look which reminds me that I have more important things to do.

Mister Blue Scarf snorts, a bit awkward after being scolded. "Your little shit" He mutters as he turns his back and stomps out, not being much polite in hiding his annoyance.

I salute the captain with my middle finger as he leaves, even I can be polite sometimes. My good manners elicit a few giggles and eye rolls.

That sharp eye was still piercing through my skull, so I decided to pick up the apple and eat it, not caring if it's really poisoned or not.

It's not like I need to have worries in the matter, the captain may be a bastard, but he has strong morals. He would never kill me like that, his death language is sword against sword, I respect that.

That damn wolf is what really worries me.

Wolfie gives me a strange feeling every time I see him, something wrong. Those eerily human eyes, the way him appears from the shadows no matter what era we're in, the beast always follows us. A wolf that herds sheep.

I remember the time the crazy cook said it was okay, he knew that wolf. Apparently, Wolfie acted as a guide on his journey, a kind of divine beast. I'd say it's about time he got some glasses, 100 years in darkness takes away anyone's eyesight.

There's nothing divine about that beast. The brutal way Wolfie shatters his victims and the pleasure he seemed to take in it was so wrong, I've seen demons be more merciful.

"Wolfieeee! You're back," the Sailor exclaims happily. Perfect, just as I was thinking about demons. I wonder if whispering his name three times will make him appear too.

I watch Wolfie approached slowly, each step calculated and deliberate. His claws dragged along the ground, producing a low, grinding sound. His tail wagged in excitement, making large arcs in the air.

Why is this so familiar? Where...when...who?

I don't know if it was because of tiredness, the low light from the lantern, or even if everyone needed glasses too.

There's no way anyone didn't notice the fresh blood that adorns the wolf's fur and stains the ground.

There's no way anyone didn't notice fangs ripping off sailor's throat.

AO3//Next>>

[spaceratprodigy]

could i bother u for more thoughts on faith and max in a mock apple orchard 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

@gayafsatan — I would absolutely LOVE to brainstorm some fun ideas of them in a mock apple orchard!!

I've been replaying again so they've been rotating around in my mind a lot extra hard and was especially thinking about mock apple picking bc the botanical labs also has a lil orchard where you can pick mock apples up off the ground! But I'm currently in Roseway so oughhh.. ideas....

I want you now I am going to ramble a LOT so please bear with me I swearsies it'll be more fun if we get the full lore dump from my brain 😩💖💕

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👇 ROSEWAY THOUGHTS 👇

(I AM GOING TO TALK ABT ROSEWAY THOUGHTS AS A WHOLE AND THEN EASE INTO SOME SILLY MOCK APPLE ORCHARD IDEAS AT THE END OKAY. OKAY ILY THANK YOU).

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My thoughts are very chaotic and rambly so let me try to walk though my ideas lmao

Roseway is typically where I peg Faith's death wish arc happening, and to summarize what all that entails, it's when the mask slips and the weight of everything finally hits her in full force.

I always envision this story happening over a long period of time so a lot of time has passed since first arriving at Edgewater and the Groundbreaker.

Halcyon. Her situation. Her identity. The life Phineas threw her into abruptly and his expectations for her. Making split second moral decisions where no matter what someone is going to get hurt. Being so alien and alone, no one to understand her or believe in her predicament but having to be the mysterious competent captain regardless.

It finally gets to her. Bad. And she makes some self destructive decisions. She gets sloppy, careless, hoping someone else will end this nightmare for her. Until they almost do.

I am swiftly brushing past many details so we don't get too lost in the sauce. But Max went after her, found her collapsed and injured bad, carried her back to the ship for Ellie to do whatever she could, and then stayed by her side for as long as it took for her to wake up.

This is such a key moment for them getting closer. Because there was a lot of frustration and emotion and being forced to confront the possibility of feelings existing, but nothing they fully understand or are ready to acknowledge as such yet.

She tries to brush past the subject of what happened, deflecting everything until he raises his voice in a way he hasn't since she gave him the journal and she threatened he never talk like that to her again. And it was enough to break through her facade, for her to show just how utterly broken and vulnerable she is, and they have a proper fucking conversation about where she's at mentally. He still isn't ready for the truth about her life before. But it's a step forward.

There is a lot of patience and understanding and just. Yeah. A lot happens here. Some walls come down. There grows some room for them to become softer and closer over more time.

All of this is important because a short piece I had written a long time ago took place in this area roughly after this incident.

It was a personal outlet vent piece, I will be honest. When I wrote it it was after I had a very bad panic attack after an awful scare. And I wrote it into Faith because I just wanted to get some feelings from that experience out of my system.

The shortened version of that one is Faith recovering from a bad episode, trying to calm her breathing, waiting for her ears to stop ringing and for her vision to come back. Her legs gave out on her and she was sitting under the mock apple trees. Her voice locks up on her when she's seriously distressed. Yadda yadda yadda, Max had brought along his datapad so she could communicate anything important and she was incredibly confused because she knows he doesn't like using his datapad ever and then rendered even more speechless to know he brought it specifically for her in case something like this were to happen again. It ends with her just asking if he would keep talking to her, and they sit there under the mock apple trees for a while, in no particular rush to get anywhere.

And after this point, I think the mock apple orchards become a really peaceful, therapeutic spot for her when she just wants a moment to herself. Sits there, breathes, takes in the Roseway scenery and collects herself before jumping back into the horrors of Halcyon. Spends some time picking mock apples to take back to the ship.

I've been having a lot of ideas of her asking Max to go with her. I'm of the mind if she'd ask directly that he'd either decline, or at least pretend to be uninterested but she's the one who asked so he accepts the offer.

But I can see her being vague and just saying that she's heading out if he'd join her and she leads him to the orchards. By this point they're already often in each other's company, she indulges his interests often, letting him be the one who is finally listened to. But in general, they get along very well in conversation when it comes to a handful of similar interests and their personalities and attitudes bounce off of each other well.

(In my story anyway, since she spends an extended amount of time in Edgewater and the Vale, there was also a lot of time spent doing some early bonding with Max. So do with that info what you will. They're not likeee besties yet but they're much more than strangers by this point, ya'know? Just to get an idea of where their familiarity with each other is at and why there's enough respect and trust to some extent already existing. Not to mention how much time they had spent on the Groundbreaker).

They'd be having such a peaceful time away from the rest of the crew.

Oughhh hear me out, okay, Faith loves to bake. She doesn't even ask, she just makes Max hold her bag open while she starts collecting mock apples and after they finally head back to the ship she figures out how to make mock apple pie for the crew 😭 we already know Max doesn't care much for sweets (I wonder how sweet or tart a mock apple pie would be.. Faith girl what all Halcyon ingredients are you adding to that bad boy) but.. what if.... After everyone goes to bed...... He tries some anyway........ Because she made it..........

Most of what's bouncing around in my brain is them early on having wholesome bonding time in a spot just for the two of them. Just enjoying each other's company. Realizing they have genuine respect for each other, Faith feeling like she found a genuine friend who went to lengths further than anyone had in her entire life to make sure she survived. I am specifying Faith's feelings here intentionally. I write Max in a more complicated spot very blinded by his revenge scheme more or less unaware for a long while just how much the lines start blurring between his faith and his Faith. To put it succinctly. (Look I know I'm always drawing The Good Stuff™️ but in actuality their relationship is suchhhh a slow burn. They are not the most romantically inclined people lmao).

But also.. once she realizes she can talk to him when she needs to. I think coming back to this spot, off the ship, away from the crew, she just likes it there. She likes being there with him. She finds comfort in that spot.

OKAY BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WOULD BE CUTE.... they should come back here.. post-scylla and post-gorgon...... Ya'know......... The first being when they establish not wanting to be apart and the second being when they want to make that partnership a permanent one......... ASKING HER IN THE MOCK APPLE ORCHARDS WOULDN'T THAT BE DARLING ough okay I need a minute my brain is going too fast to comprehend

My Roseway ideas aren't the most cleaned up I know BUT so many important bonding moments exist and oughhhh LOOSE IDEAS ARE STILL WORTH TALKING ABOUT OKAYYYYY

I just want them to go mock apple picking together and learn how to get smiles out of each other and not understand why it makes their chests hurt but they know they need to do it again

ACTUALLYYYYY post-scylla when he's much more mellowed out and they're the closest they've been I think would be so so nice. they'd be so much softer and he'd probably be so much more involved in wanting to enjoy silly lil activities with her.....

Currently imagining him reading out loud to her, all the conversations they'd have, maybe he brings his tossball cards to show her, maybe they bring one of the lil games, have a lil makeshift picnic....

Godddd the transition between just how much enthusiasm he shows spending time with her is enough to make me explode. Can you see my vision. The reluctance, to the hesitancy, to becoming absolutely inseparable.

I HAVE A LOT TO THINK ABOUT BUT I'M GETTING SLEEPY SO SENDING IT!!!!!!

Literally feel free to add on or share your own thoughts I'm begging you lmao I promise there is so much room for ideas to be fleshed out and better put together, I'm mostly just spitballing what all I think would be incredibly fun ideas to work with. Plus I'm kind of thinking across the timeline and how much their relationship would change between each visit. And how over time they would enjoy it more and more and make each visit more special than the last.

WAIT BEFORE I LOSE THE THOUGHT!! They make a stop RIGHT BEFORE HEADING TO SCYLLA TO GO TO THE HERMIT'S LODGE!! Oh that could hurt so good omgggg. Okay okay I need to stop now I NEED TO STOP.

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

do you have any headcanons or ideas when the current adult cats like Munkustrap, Macavity or Tugger reach their senior age? What becomes of them? How’s the tribe like etc.

Sorry if I worded this question weird it’s been on my mind for a while and I figured you might have some interesting ideas about it :)

That's actually a super interesting question! I stuck with the three prompted in the ask, but I'm happy to talk about others as well, if you'd like!

(Slight TWs for mention of illness and death)

🎸 - Tugger gains weight as he gets older, around the middle and face particularly - the slowing metabolism catches up to him, even with his picky eating habits. No shame in that; he's healthy, lives a good life and he's happy. He has a very prominent nasolabial fold on the right side of his face that no longer goes away when he stops smiling, because he would half smile and smirk so often that the muscles in his face got weaker on the left, leaving it permanently crooked (no less charming though), and the smile lines on one side are far deeper. Like is tradition, he lets his fur get even longer, but pays a little less attention to it, so it's often wild (he digs it - says it looks "very bad boy" which has his kids and niblings and grandkids groaning at him). Gives him a very regal "king of the jungle" type of look, and that combined with the lower tilt of his brow give off the impression that he's grown more serious, but he hasn't. One quick grin will attest to that. He's secretly *very* self conscious about his aging (let's be real, he was the type to have started dying his hair the minute anything even resembling grey showed up in there - grey only exists on his dad and Munk), particularly that the others may start to lose interest in him (and Tugger does love his attention), but does a good job at hiding it, and lbh if you know anything about any rockstar, it's that aging eliminates absolutely zero appeal to their fans - a sex symbol is a sex symbol.

His role in the clowder stays mostly the same. He never really moves up or into any real role of responsibility, though he does stay on as an advisor after Sillabub steps up. Most of his troublemaking is now quietly whispered and advised to the next generation, with "old innocent Uncle Tugger" watching gleefully from a distance. Gotta train them young, y'know? He also takes up the Grandpa Gus mantel in nicknaming everyone with very particular calling cards, or settling on the more neutral "babe" and "honey" - particularly for the younger kittens. He also came into his own as quite the storyteller, when you get him to sit still long enough (which isn't often but they'll take what they can get).

A fully senior Tugger started developing problems with wandering off and mobility, but his family keeps close tabs on him (even though it annoys him).

🌙 - Munkustrap has taken remarkably after Old Deuteronomy in that he aged very slowly, and then almost all at once. For the longest time, it seemed like he would never age; every year that passed he looked the same (having grey fur already does wonders for hiding the grey that pops forward). Maybe a little fuller in the figure, maybe with a few deeper lines around the eyes, but still the same old Munk he'd always been even a dozen years ago. He isn't at all concerned with appearances; he takes them as they come.

He's mellowed out over the years in stress levels (not good for the blood pressure, you know - he has several cats who pointedly remind him of that when he starts), though you know when something doesn't please him; that familial look of disapproval is very strong in him. But it doesn't stop him from following in Aunt Jenny and Uncle Skimble's footsteps in that "slowing down" are not words in his vocabulary. He's still as busy a body as ever, and remained in charge of the yearly plays at the Ball until he needed to be forcibly retired (at least in being the lead director - he still goes to every practice). Part of that comes from the rather severe arthritis he develops later down the line, which was part of the contribution to that "all at once" aging I mentioned earlier, but he remains cheerful and as active as is tolerable with it. He (regrettably if you ask his daughters and grandchildren) has become the "back in my day", kind of guy, which you can tell he's about to launch into when he manages a claw up and pointing. He absolutely adores his grandchildren and grandniblings, and takes over his father's spot as the first cat that often gets to meet very new kittens (and pass on their teachings), and while he doesn't have Old Deuteronomy's full knack for it (doesn't quite have the developed magic for it), it is still a time honoured tradition and you know Munkustrap adores babies (and they all adore Granddad).

Munk remains the leading song-storyteller in the clowder, and takes on a role as one of their mentors/teachers until his fading memory prevents him from doing so. He is very proud of his apprentices that take up after him, and takes up every opportunity to tell any cat how good they are and how he taught them everything they know. He ends up passing peacefully in his home at around 32 years of feline age after being sick a while - not bad for a cat; the Deuteronomys live rather long, you know.

💀 - Macavity...is Macavity. No, actually, you know what scratch that. Macavity becomes who he was meant to be the entire time: Professor Moriarty (but like book canon Moriarty - think like Victor Evgrafov). His shoulders droop forward and begin to protrude as he loses more weight, as though wings would sprout from the shoulder blades behind him, his jaw and whiskers begin to sag and his fur gets thinner (even moreso) and that "highly domed" head of his becomes literal as the "fur line" pushes back further. He is patchy and unkempt, but somehow retains his cool, unbothered posturing (kinda...unless he's angry, but that doesn't come with age). The cataracts he develops (and, with no desire to be anywhere in the vicinity of humans, retains) are white and clouded, and while this means the intensity of his gaze has softened a notch (literally and figuratively - his vision is permanently blurred), it is somehow even more frightening than before.

He no longer goes out to do any of his bidding (though he never really did to begin with - having a web has its perks in that you don't get the paws dirty) - they are brought to him. Not particularly difficult, as he has abandoned a *lot* of his threads - he grew bored of them; they no longer interested him. His voice has become softer, more difficult to hear, but it's bone chilling. He's often caught talking to cats who aren't there (or at least that no one else can see), and staring blankly at walls, and his paranoia has tripled. Possibly CDS; no one was close enough to him to really know.

Macavity disappears one day; no one really knows what happened to him, though you can take a few guesses.

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #50

previously - Journal Entry #49 (part four)

Victor

It's Tuesday again.

I keep doing this, recording entries on Tuesdays. Unlike last Tuesday, nothing much happened today, but that's not to say I don't have news. Even if today wasn’t eventful, the weekend was.

I finally heard from Seiji. It took him until Sunday to reply to the multiple texts I'd sent him on Friday, but better late than never, as they say. What's going on with him will require some explaining, so let me come back to it, 'cause I'm sure you want to know how Yuri and I are doing too, right?

Right. Here comes the health update. There’s some good news and some not so good news.

Good news first; I'm feeling a lot better. It's like my body decided to kick itself into high gear and get some serious healing done since Friday. I’m still getting headaches, but they’re not nearly as intense as they were before, and the blurriness is completely gone from my vision now, which is super encouraging. Today, I didn't take any pain medication for my arms and rib, not even ibuprofen.

In hindsight, I think I probably should've had a little something in the afternoon, because my rib was hurting by the time I got back from spending several hours at the hospital with Yuri. The chairs in there aren’t particularly comfortable and it’s hard for me to sit for long periods of time. But, you know me. I was trying to be a tough guy about it.

My biggest problem right now isn't pain. It's that I'm restless and nearly bored out of my mind. I'm still not cleared for exercise, but I keep trying to sneak in some shoulder stretches and a bunch of leg work whenever I can. Normally, I'd be training, going to work, cooking and cleaning, and taking care of Yuri, but I can't do any of that at the moment and a guy can only take so much inactivity. I'm going kinda crazy with nothing to do.

As for Yuri, his progress hasn't been quite as good as mine. He's slowly getting better, but he's still in the hospital. It's been a whole week as of today, and I don't think he'll be getting out for at least another week.

He hasn't reached the stage where he's bored yet, probably because he's really weak and he's still sleeping a lot, but at least he's able to get out of bed on his own now. He was even up and walking for a few minutes this afternoon. I coaxed him to drink some water afterwards, which probably looked hilarious because I was holding the cup for him and I had to hold it between both hands while he sipped through a straw.

He's still not eating, unfortunately, so they're still giving him intravenous nutrition infusions. I'm sure he's capable of eating independently, but I think he's scared, and nothing anyone's said so far has been enough to motivate him to try.

Dr. Kasongo has already brought up the subject of tube feeding at home, but only with me because neither of us feel Yuri is ready for that conversation yet. Obviously, tube feeding will be an option of last resort, and we really don't want to frighten or upset him any more.

I’ll be honest, the idea upsets me too, not just because I hate the thought of how debilitating it’d be for Yuri, but also because I don’t think I grasped exactly how sick he is until I had that conversation with his doctor. Like, I’ve always understood that his illness is serious and chronic, but I don’t think I fully comprehended the magnitude of it, if that makes sense.

Dr. Kasongo is hopeful that we won’t have to go the tube feeding route, in any case. She’s certain Yuri will settle enough to start a liquid diet by mouth in another day or two, but I'm not sure it'll happen as soon as she imagines it will. Not without some kind of intervention, at least.

The nutritionist came to see him while I was there today, and he had a complete meltdown in front of her. It was pretty clear that he did not want to hear anything about the food plan she was suggesting for him once he's released from the hospital, and his solution was to dissolve into tears and ask her to leave. I think I've seen him cry more in the past week than in the entire duration of our relationship. Yuri hardly ever cries. He rarely shows any emotions really strongly for that matter, regardless of how he's feeling inside, and it's difficult to see him in such a vulnerable state.

The nutritionist told me she's going to ask the doctor to make a referral to a psychologist for him. I already know he's not going to like that, and I’m predicting he'll cause a scene over it, but I do think it's a good idea for him to speak to someone.

That having been said, I can also empathize with his reluctance. At first, I didn't want to talk to the psychologist Dr. Sato referred me to either, but now I actually kinda like him. The initial referral was supposed to have been to talk about the emotional effects of my accident, but I told him I can get over that by myself, so we discuss other stuff instead. I've talked to him about the death of my dad and sister, the stress of being the main caregiver for somebody with a chronic illness, and the challenges of being an immigrant.

He says I'm psychologically healthy and that I don't need long-term therapy. I agree one hundred percent, but having someone objective to confess all my doubts and insecurities to has really helped me feel a lot better mentally. I'm happy to have that support, to go along with the support I'm getting for my physical recovery.

We'll see how it goes with Yuri and his psychologist. I'm envisioning hysterical outbursts, but I'm sure one of us will let you know what happens for sure.

Okay, I guess now it’s time to tell you about Seiji and what happened on Sunday afternoon.

I'd been with Yuri for the morning on Sunday. Mom and Julian picked me up around noon, just after Yuri's grandmother arrived to visit with him. She had Yuki with her as well, so it was probably a good thing I was leaving. According to Yuri, the energy of me and Yuki together in a room can sometimes be a bit overwhelming for other people. The last thing he needed was to deal with that.

Anyway, Mom, Julian and I had lunch at my favourite sushi bar, which was kind of chaotic because neither of them knows how to use chopsticks and even though I'm a chopstick wizard, I can't use them right now either. We all ate with our fingers, which earned us a lot of disapproving stares. I think people were mostly staring at me because I was picking up pieces of maki with the fingertips of both hands together, but I didn't care.

Back at home, stuffed to the brim with salmon, eel, rice and vegetables, I was ready for a nap on the couch and was not at all expecting my phone to ring. When it did, I was startled out of my drowsy stupor, and nearly fell off the sofa. Then, I recognized Seiji's number on the caller ID and all thoughts of napping suddenly dissipated like mist.

I tapped the 'answer' icon on my phone's screen, and didn't even bother with hello.

"Hinamori-san! Where the hell have you been?" I demanded. "Sakura and I have been trying to reach you for days, you know."

"We're not on a first-name basis now, Nelson-san?" was his testy response.

"Really, Seiji? You ghost me for days, and you're annoyed with me?"

"Sorry.”

"Yeah, you should be."

"I wasn't ready to talk," he said. "I went out to the country, to my grandparents' estate, 'cause I just needed to get away for a while."

"What for?" I asked. "And why didn't you tell Masao you were going? Why didn't you tell Takahiro and Fox? Like, how do you leave town without even telling your best friend and his boyfriend?"

"I headed out when Taka was at work," Seiji confessed. "I left him a note."

"You... No, you know what? Never mind," I said. "Why did you need to get away. Did something happen?"

"Did something happen?" he repeated, his tone incredulous. "Dude, are you kidding me right now? How are you even asking that? Like, what do you think happened?"

"I... don't know." I said, perplexed.

"You're so stupid, Victor.” He sounded as though he meant it.

I did my best to force down the familiar sting of humiliation at hearing that. Kids at school used to call me stupid, and it’d always made me feel horrible. My inner child wanted to cover his ears and hide under the nearest desk so he could cry without drawing even more ridicule.

But then, a little voice in my brain that sounded very much like Sayuri Ishida's seemed to whisper, that's not true.

It really isn't true, and I need to keep reminding myself of it. Dr. Ishida had put that monster from my past to rest, once and for all, and I used her words like a shield in my mind. You have an eye condition called hyperopia. Your ability to read is normal. Your intelligence is above average.

“I’m not stupid,” I said, as calmly as I could manage. It was mostly for my own benefit, but still, I wasn’t interested In letting Seiji’s dig at me go so easily.

Seiji made a dismissive snorting noise. “Whatever. Must be the head injury, then.”

I pulled in a deep breath. "Seiji, listen. I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Can you please tell me what's going on? Me and Sakura and Masao have been worried about you.”

“Masao should know,” he said.

“Maybe, but Sakura and I don’t.”

Several seconds passed before Seiji finally spoke again. “Fine. I guess I owe you some kind of explanation. Can you… are you like, okay to go out? I don’t want to talk about it on the phone, but Taka said you’re in a wheelchair and…uh, you know…”

“I’m not in a wheelchair,” I said. “I had to use one for like, maybe three days after I got out of the hospital. That’s all.”

“So, you can go out?”

“Yeah, but you’ll have to come and get me if you want me to go somewhere with you. I’m not cleared to drive yet.”

"When's a good time?"

"Now? I'm not doing much, so whenever works for you, works for me."

"Okay," he said. "If you literally meant now, I can be there to pick you up in like, twenty minutes."

"That sounds good," I agreed. "That gives me plenty of time to grab some water and throw on a sweater."

You're at home, right?"

"I'm at home. See you when you get here."

He showed up about twenty-five minutes later, looking like he'd spent the week in a tent rather than living in luxury at his grandparents' sprawling country estate. His hair was a mess, there were dark smudges beneath his eyes, and he was moving like he was the one who was injured. He looked like he hadn't gotten more than a few hours sleep in the last several days.

"You look worse than I do," I commented, once we'd exchanged greetings.

"You look... surprisingly good," he remarked. He sort of nodded at my arms, where the bottom of my casts were peeking out past the ends of my slightly too-long sleeves. "You know, except for that."

"I'll be rid of these in a few more weeks."

"And then what? Back to the mountain?"

"Naturally," I said.

I couldn't interpret the expression that passed across his features. It didn't last long, but I hadn't missed it, and it could've been anything from disbelief to worry to disapproval. It could've been some combination of all three.

"Let's get going," he said, and although neither of us verbally acknowledged it, we both blatantly pretended the previous few seconds hadn't happened.

The car ride was weird. Normally, Seiji and I would be joking and laughing, listening to music a bit too loud, and talking about our favourite subjects. This time, we were silent, and the only sound in the car was Snowflake by Arashi, playing quietly on repeat.

Where we eventually ended up was in the valley, in Hanamigawa Park. The last time I'd been there was on Yuri's birthday, back in September. The park had been vibrant with colour then. Now, it was brown and grey and dismal, the last vestiges of winter not quite having given way to the tenuous first signs of spring.

We got out of the car, and I followed Seiji across the grass until we came to a bench.

"So...?" I prompted, after it felt like we'd sat there for at least five minutes, staring at our shoes.

"So, what?"

"About that explanation you owe me."

"Yeah." He scuffed the toe of his boot on the ground. "I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"I'm going to move to the city. Try to get a grown-up job. Maybe go back to college or something."

"What are you talking about?" I said. "Your job with the Recreation Association is a grown-up job. There's a lot of responsibility in teaching people how to ski and snowboard."

"It's not the kind of responsibility I want any more, if I ever did."

"What?"

"I quit," he said.

"You quit your job?"

"I quit everything."

At that, an awkward silence stretched between us for several seconds because I had no idea how to respond. I wasn't sure what he meant by 'everything'. I thought I could guess, but I didn't want to assume.

When the lull was starting to feel too long, I finally ventured, "Define 'everything'."

"Everything," he repeated. "I quit my job, I told Taka I'm moving out, and I'm hanging up my board. Masao already knows, so don't bother to ask if I've told him."

"You're not going to compete any more?"

"I'm not going to snowboard any more."

I stared at him. "Why?"

As if it were too difficult to hold my gaze, he looked away from me and began to fidget with his hands. "I can't do it any more," he said.

"But... why?"

"You know how people say the mountain is magical? That there's a guardian spirit?"

"Yeah."

"It's just a story," he said. "The mountain is nothing but a cold, dead rock, and it'll take everything from you with no regrets. With no feelings at all. I named my snowboard because, for some dumb reason, I let myself think it had some kind of spirit inside too, but you know what? It's just another lifeless object."

I had to admit that what he said was correct. From a purely factual standpoint, the mountain is rock and snow, and snowboards are just Fiberglas and wood or carbon, but I have to admit I like the idea of there being something more to them than that. I love the stories of the mountain spirit Yukimatsu and his beautiful sword Shirayuki, and I believe that Elsa is more than a piece of sports equipment. When Elsa and I are flying down the mountainside, I definitely feel something from her, and sometimes I imagine I can hear her singing.

"I thought you loved snowboarding," I said.

“Maybe I used to. Or maybe I still do, but it's like a toxic relationship that you can't seem to leave until it's almost too late. Like, you can't make yourself get out of it until it steals every last bit of hope and happiness you ever had."

"I don't understand," I said, because I really didn't.

"Do you know, I think I might've accidentally hurt Masao, trying to get to you when I saw you go down?" he said. "You know how tiny he is, and he was trying to hold me back."

"I didn't know," I said.

"If it wasn't for Fox, I probably would've..." He didn't complete the thought, but instead continued with. "Takahiro said I was literally screaming. The thing is, though, I don't remember. I don't remember Masao grabbing me, or me knocking him to the ground or... anything. All I could think was, you could be dying and the people you care about most wouldn't even be beside you."

"Obviously I didn't die."

"Yeah, but how were any of us supposed to know that at the time? You didn't see it the way we saw it. Masao said it looked like you could've broken your neck, and I... I couldn't handle losing somebody else like that."

It took a second for my brain to register what he'd just said. Somebody else. Had he seen another snowboarder go down like I had? Someone who hadn't been as lucky as me?

"Who...?" I began, but quickly closed my mouth because something told me I shouldn't pry.

But, it was too late to worry about it when Seiji started to answer anyway. "Didn't Yuri ever tell you about Tsubaki?"

I tried to recall if Yuri had ever mentioned anyone by that name. "I don't think so. Who is she?"

"I thought he told you everything," Seiji said.

"Apparently not."

"Tsubaki was our..." he trailed off, and then amended. "She was the woman I loved."

"Oh."

"She was our teacher in our final year of high school," he went on. "Me, Taka and Yuri were in the same class, so we all knew her. She wasn't that much older than us and most of the boys in our year had a crush on her, but for whatever reason, she liked me and Taka best. Maybe 'cause she was into snowboarding like we were."

"You went snowboarding with your teacher?"

"Not while she was our teacher," he said. "But, we all talked about it all the time, and we'd see her up on the mountain on the weekends."

I'd seen one of my high school teachers skiing on Granite Mountain once. It had felt strange and out of context to me, and I'd tried to pretend I hadn't even noticed him. But, regardless of my effort to ignore him, the rare sighting of my chemistry teacher outside his natural habitat had been enough to distract me, and it resulted in me getting yelled at by my coach at the time.

I'm sure I succeeded in forgetting about it almost immediately afterward, and I’d never even dreamed of bringing it up with him at school. I couldn’t help but winder what it would've been like to have a teacher like Tsubaki, who I could've geeked out about snowboarding with.

"Seems like she would've been a cool person to know."

"She was amazing," he said. "When we graduated, she said we could call her by her given name, and we became friends. We all used to hang out, me Taka, Yuri, Tsubaki and her best friend Mei. We went snowboarding together then, and we did other stuff like going on road trips or going to someone's place for a meal and to play games or watch movies. Or just talk. Tsubaki and I talked a lot."

"What happened?" I asked.

"With me and her?" he said. "She always told me that she didn't want to have a relationship with me, but towards the end, I felt like things were changing between us. She was starting to treat me less like a friend and more like... well, not a boyfriend exactly, but something deeper than snow buddies, you know?" He sighed. "Then everything... ended."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Yuri really never told you about any of this? He never told you about Tsubaki's accident? How she..." He paused, closing his eyes. "How the mountain took her from me."

It was at that point when I realized Yuri actually had told me. I hadn't made the connection immediately because he hadn't gone into detail and hadn't used Tsubaki's name, and I hadn't wanted to press him for information. "He mentioned he had a friend who died in a snowboarding accident," I said. "We didn't talk much about it."

That figures. Yuri wasn't that close to her anyway." He gave a little shrug. "Yuri doesn't know how to be close to people.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Are you saying he’s not close to you?” I asked.

“Dude, from where I’m standing, he’s not even all that close to you,” he said. “I mean, where the hell was he when you needed him? At work, and even when all of us were at the hospital with you and we were trying to call him, he ignored us. You know how many times Taka tried to reach him?”

“He was probably in a meeting,” I said.

“Why wasn’t he on the mountain with you? That’s where he should’ve been.”

"His job is important, Seiji. Besides, what happened probably would've happened anyway, even if he had been there.”

"That's not the point," Seiji said. "The point is, he doesn't care about anybody but himself. Why was it you and Sakura who were checking on me? He's supposed to be my friend."

"Sakura and I are your friends too," I reminded him. "Yuri couldn't check on you. He's been in the hospital since Tuesday."

"So what? He's too sick to send a text?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, he was." I met his gaze. "Are you seriously mad at Yuri because he didn't text you for a week?"

“I’m mad at him because he’s an asshole. Because he got someone he doesn’t appreciate or even deserve.”

“So, you’re not actually mad at him. You’re jealous.”

“Whatever,” he said. “I know you love him, but wouldn't it be better to love somebody who gives a shit about you? If you'd died out there, he would've just carried on with life as normal."

"No, he wouldn't," I said. "You obviously don't know him as well as you think you do, if that's what you believe."

"I know him well enough," he said. "I've never seen him shed a tear over anything or anyone. But you? You treat everybody like they matter, and you deserve at least that much in return."

"Everyone deserves to be treated like they matter because everyone does matter," I said. "Where are you even going with this?"

"You didn't have to come halfway around the world for Yuri. You could've stayed safe at home and had anyone you wanted.”

“I want Yuri,” I said simply.

"I don't know why. He's a crappy partner."

“Yuri loves me just as much as I love him, and he treats me like I matter," I said. "Maybe you’re convinced he’s a crappy partner because he wasn’t where you thought he should be, but that’s not how it works. We don’t get to script real life to our tastes. It just happens, and sometimes it sucks, and then we gotta figure out how to deal with it.”

“You think I don’t know that?"

"Do you?"

"My life has sucked for the last three and a half years," he declared. "Worse than yours, probably.”

“My life doesn't suck," I said. "There are parts of it that suck. Like, everything's not always easy or fun, but overall it's good, and I'm happy."

"Then, you're delusional." He got up abruptly and started to walk away. "This was a waste of time."

Stunned by the suddenness of his decision to leave, I stared at his retreating figure for several seconds. When I pulled my wits back into place at last, I had to run — contrary to doctor’s orders — to catch up to him.

"Seiji, wait!" I called. "We're not done."

He glared at me. “Yes, we are.”

"You said you were going to give me an explanation."

"I did. It's not my fault that you're too dumb to figure it out."

That was the precise moment in which I lost my temper. I think that if I could've grabbed him and shook him, I would have, but maybe it was a good thing I couldn't.

"I'm not dumb!" I yelled. "I'm sick and tired of everyone saying I'm stupid! I'm probably smarter than you, but I'm not a damn mind reader, so if you want me to understand something, then explain it in a way that makes sense!"

"Fine!" he said. "You want it in language your brain can handle? Here it is. I'm done pretending I'm okay. I don't want to be in this place, hanging around with people who remind me how useless I am and how much I've lost. I don't want to be on that damn mountain every day, thinking of her."

“But—”

"I can't keep running the risk of putting my parents through what her parents had to go through. What I had to go through. It's not worth it. I'd rather have nothing myself than to leave my family with nothing."

"But, there's lots of other stuff—" I began.

“There isn't," he said. "Snowboarding was the only thing I was good at. I’ve failed at everything else. Like, I was rubbish in school, and I was useless as a medic. I couldn’t even…”

“What?”

“There was only snowboarding, but you know what? Snowboarding fucking wrecked my life, Victor! There's no part that it didn't touch, and I can't fix anything now. All I can do now is protect the people I love, and try to forget it."

By the time he was done with this speech, he was crying. Evidently not wanting me to see that, he wiped his sleeve across his eyes so fiercely that I'm sure it must've hurt.

"Seiji—"

"Leave me alone," he said.

“You’ll never forget, you know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You can go to the city if you want,” I said. “You can go to the other side of the world or a whole other planet, but you're never gonna outrun grief or anger or whatever. You might think you feel better for a while but there's really no place far enough away to escape from it."

"What the hell would you know about it?"

"You might be surprised by what I know about it," I told him. "But I'm not gonna give you a lecture. If you’re not ready, you wouldn't listen anyway.”

"I doubt you know about it like I do," he said.

"Maybe not exactly in the same way you do," I conceded. "But, you know what? I get what it's like when somebody who was the center of your world suddenly isn't there any more."

There was a lot more I could've said. I wanted to tell him I know what it feels like to think about someone every single day and picture how the future might've been different if they were still around. I often wonder about all the stuff Dad and Caroline and I might've said to each other, and all the ways I could've been a better person when they were alive, and how they'll never know what i learned because of them, and who I became because of them.

Tears were still leaking from Seiji's eyes, but he wasn't trying to hide them any more. As I watched, he stood there with his head bowed and whispered, "I couldn't save her. No one could."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

He shook his head, but regardless of that, he started telling me anyway. "It was just a normal Saturday," he said. "I was working with Mountain Patrol, and my team got the call about an accident up on the expert run. I didn't know it was her until we got there. The advanced care paramedic on our team took one look at her and somehow he knew right away that her neck was broken. It was really bad."

"That had to have been a shock."

"They took her in a helicopter down to the hospital in the valley." He went on as if I hadn't spoken. "You know, to assess her and try to stabilize her. They might've rushed her to one of the big hospitals in Kyoto afterwards, but... there wasn't time. Her parents were in Tokyo, and there wasn't time for them to get here, either. Me and Taka were the only ones with her, and I don't know if she was aware of us being there, but I was holding her hand when she passed."

"I'm sorry," I said.

I thought about my mom. I hadn't found out until many years later that she'd been with my dad in the hospital when he passed and had been able to say goodbye to him one last time. Caroline had been killed almost instantly, so Mom didn't get that final goodbye with her, and I can't decide if that was a blessing or not.

I mean, I can't wrap my head around how terrifying and soul-shattering it'd be to hold your baby as she took her last breath. Watching your partner die would be devastating enough, but losing a child...? And my mom had to suffer through both. The pain she felt must've been immeasurable, making even mine seem minor in comparison.

I don't know how she handled it. I don't know how she survived it. I think if something happened to take Yuri away from me, I'd die too, of a broken heart. Or maybe I wouldn't literally die, but I'd wish to stop existing if he wasn't by my side.

I had to resist the urge to hug Seiji as he stood there crying. His whole body was visibly rigid, and I knew he wouldn't want me to touch him. Takahiro probably would have if he were there, but Taka the compulsive hugger could get away with it and Seiji might even relax enough to reciprocate. In fact, Taka is the only person I've ever seen give Seiji a hug that didn't look unnatural or uncomfortable. Had Seiji always been that way, or had his trauma caused him to change?

He swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I shouldn't have told you all that."

"It's okay. You must've needed to say it."

"Maybe. It was just... that thing you said. About somebody being the center of your world? She was, you know. She would've been, for the rest of our lives. I would've taken care of her, and I think we would've been happy, but... None of that's gonna happen now."

"Have you ever talked about this with anybody before?" I asked.

"Only Taka," he said. "He's the only one who understands. Everybody else thinks it's ridiculous 'cause we weren't even in a relationship."

"A friendship is a relationship. So what if you weren't her boyfriend? That doesn't mean it should hurt less."

"You don't think I'm like, being dramatic or whatever?"

"Why should I think that?" I said. "I don't have the right to tell you how you're supposed to feel or what your grief is supposed to look like, do I? Maybe you're like Yuri and you hardly ever cry for anything, no matter how destroyed you feel, or maybe you're like me and you cry over every little thing, or maybe you're somewhere in between. It doesn't matter. It's all valid."

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me for letting you feel however you feel."

"Yeah, I do. Most people would judge me for it."

"I'm not into judging other people for their feelings," I said. "I've got plenty of my own that I'm busy judging myself for."

"You shouldn't. Like, if you can tell me my feelings are okay, you can tell yourself that."

I offered him what was probably a lopsided smile. "I'm working on it. My psychologist says I have to stop creating burdens for myself."

"You're seeing a therapist?"

"Yeah. Unbelievable, right? My doctor referred me to him after my accident, but we've been talking about everything. He's helping me get perspective."

"Perspective," Seiji repeated, as if he were contemplating it.

"You know," I said. "Like how some stuff in your life seems so big and overwhelming, you don't know how you're supposed to deal with it? Sometimes you have to break the situation down and manage it bit by bit."

"Like learning a trick," he said.

"Exactly. Remember when you first learned to ride? There were probably lots of people around you doing all kinds of crazy tricks, and you couldn't even do an ollie yet. Now, you're the one who's flying, but you had to build up to it, one skill at a time."

"So, how am I supposed to do it?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe start off with figuring out what's really going on in your head. Like, are you sad or angry or scared, or what? And then... I don't know. Ask yourself exactly why. Like, if you're angry at a specific person, or you're scared about a certain thing."

He nodded. "I guess that makes sense. But... do you think I need professional help for that?"

"Maybe? I'm probably the last person you should ask about that. I didn't even know I needed professional help until I was getting it."

"But, it's working, right?"

"Yeah, but it's not magic. You have to want to get your shit together before you can get your shit together, and you have to work at it."

"Good to know."

"Listen," I said. "Everything's gonna be okay. It may take a while, and it might not look exactly how you wanted it to, but it eventually does get better."

"Thanks."

This time, I could feel my smile in my entire face. "You're welcome, but give credit to Yuri, too. He taught me that."

"Yuri taught you optimism?"

"He taught me about resilience," I said. “That’s better than optimism.”

“How so?”

"’Cause it’s realistic. And it’s honest.”

“I see how optimism can be unrealistic.”

“Resilience is sort of like body armour,” I said. “Having it on doesn't mean nothing ever hurts you. Sometimes it hurts like hell, but you get through it and you survive, and eventually the pain isn’t so bad any more. Yuri's constantly showing me that, whether he realizes he is or not."

"Okay," was all he said in response.

He started walking again, in the direction of the park gates. I fell into step beside him, and the quiet between us this time didn't feel quite so fraught.

When we reached the place where we'd left his car, I asked, "What are you going to do now?"

"Take you home, I guess," he said.

"I meant in general."

"Oh." He shrugged. "I don't know. I'm going to Kyoto tomorrow. I've got a couple of appointments to view apartments. Do you want to come?"

"So, you're definitely moving?"

"I guess so."

"What kind of job do you think you'll get when you move there?"

"Does it matter?"

"Not really," I said. "I was just curious."

"I'll probably end up in a convenience store," he said. "But, I was training to be a paramedic before, so I might be okay at taking care of sick people at home or something. And I like kids, so maybe I'd do all right working in a daycare. Or tailoring. I learned how to draft patterns and sew from my mother, so I could probably do that."

"I didn't realize you were training to be a paramedic. When you said 'medic' before, I thought you meant you had the certified mountain rescue course. The advanced first aid one."

"I do have that certification," he said. "But, I was in college for paramedicine. After she... after Tsubaki died, I dropped out because couldn't handle it any more."

"How far did you get?"

"Not very far. I finished the first in-class module, and Mountain Patrol was my first part-time clinical placement. That was it." He made a face that might've been self-disgust. "Useless, right?"

"Not necessarily," I said.

"What?"

An idea was starting to form in my head, but I didn't want to say too much to Seiji until I'd had a chance to talk to Yuri about it first. "You think you could drop me off at the hospital instead of at my house?"

"I'll drop you off anywhere you want," he said. "But, what'd you mean?"

"About you quitting college?"

"Yeah."

"There might be more options for you than snowboarding or working in some dodgy convenience store in the city."

"Right."

"I'll come with you to Kyoto tomorrow," I said.

He frowned at me. "You've got some kind of ulterior motive, don't you?"

"Maybe."

"You're trying to convince me not to move."

"No, I'm not trying to do that. If you want to check out the opportunities in Kyoto, there's no reason not to. All I'm saying is that you might want to go there with something better in mind than working at a convenience store. Like, if you're serious about home care or child care, maybe try it out and see if you like it before you take off to the city and commit yourself to a lease and everything."

"You think I should do that in Mt. Komorebi?"

"Think of it as a safety net," I said. "Stay home for a bit longer, try some different stuff and find out what you really want. Then go off and chase your dream, whatever it is."

"What if I really don't want to stay here?" he said.

"Nobody can force you to stay. All I'm saying is, before you leave, make sure you're deciding and not just reacting."

"Okay," he said. "But I still feel like you're up to something."

"I'll tell you about it tomorrow," I said.

"I'm not going along with it, whatever it is."

"You don't have to go along with it, but you should at least wait to hear what it is."

He drew back his arm as if he were going to punch me, but only flicked my shoulder instead. "You're a massive pain in the ass, you know."

"Yeah," I said. "I hear that a lot, but for some reason, people love me anyway."

"I hate you," he growled, but I knew he wasn't being serious. "Get in the car, Nelson. Wouldn't want to keep you from your pain in the ass other half."

"You didn't really mean what you said about him before, did you?"

If I was expecting an apology or a retraction, I would've been disappointed.

“Some of it,” Seiji said. “He is an asshole, and you seriously could've done better, but if you're happy..." He raised his hands in a gesture that seemed to indicate there was no further comment he could offer. "Anyway, you can tell him I'll come by and see him in a day or two. I'll make Taka and Fox come too, if they haven't been there yet, and I'll bring daifuku mochi. The strawberry kind."

"He's not eating," I said.

"Since when has Yuri ever said no to strawberry mochi? Me and Taka have literally seen him too weak to sit up, and he’d still be lying there demanding a little bite of our strawberry mochi. It's his all-time favourite. That, and tinned peaches, but they're probably already on the lunch menu at the hospital."

"How do you—"

"Just tell him," Seiji said, "And tell him I'll even feed him if he needs me to. Oh, and also tell him to expect a huge piece of my mind for what he did to you. He had no business abandoning you like that, and he definitely has no business taking you for granted. Actually, having somebody as devoted to his pathetic little ass as you are, he should consider himself the luckiest person in the universe."

I didn't show it on the outside, but inwardly, I was both relieved and amused. It might not be an apology, but I figured this was as close as Seiji would get to saying he still considers Yuri his friend.

Even if I hadn't liked hearing what he'd said about my husband, I couldn't blame Seiji for being upset. From Seiji's point of view, maybe Yuri's behaviour after my accident had looked horrible and uncaring, but Seiji hadn't seen him in my room with me immediately after. He hadn't heard the pain and guilt in Yuri's voice when he told me over and over that he was sorry, and he hadn't seen how hard Yuri worked to help me at home when he really should've been resting himself.

"I'll tell him," I said. "I think he'll be glad to see you."

"Yeah, whatever." He opened the passenger door for me, and I climbed into the car. A moment later, he slid into the driver's seat. "I'm leaving for Kyoto at eight in the morning. You'd better be up and dressed when I get to your place."

"Don't worry," I assured him. "I'll be ready."

((More about Seiji & Tsubaki from a different perspective, for anyone curious))

[shih-coulda-had-it]

Just so you know, the assignment was something among the lines of "use these words to write a short story" and I may have went slightly overboard. Rushed? Obviously. The ending was literally write in the middle of the lesson. But that's the effort that counts right? (Please I hope it sends in one ask)

It was a bad idea. Obviously. It wasn't worth the risk. Right. Right? He was definitely losing his mind or has lost it already if even a part of him thought it was anything else.

Nana would laugh in his face if she were to see this. Or, more likely, yell at him for being such an idiot who didn't care about himself at all. Well damn, he was running out of ideas, sue him. And that? That seemed like an opportunity. An opportunity to reach a confinement between them. To keep him safe without becoming fugitives and hiding for years, if not decades.

Torino exhaled slowly, eyes locking on the man in front of him. To a certain extent, it was funny to realize how hard it was to believe that he could actually look even benevolent when they were not trying to murder each other.

It was almost nice, actually. To sit like that in a quiet cafe, doing small talk as if they were old friends and one of them wasn't the reason the other had spent days trying to wash the blood off himself. To a certain degree, the hero still couldn't get rid of this feeling, of how hideous he'd felt reeking of metal and ashes. How his self hatred surfaced the moment he was finally left alone and how drained he was of any energy to shed even a single tear and-

"Sorahiko," the villain's voice startled him and he gasped for air sharply, eyes darting to the white haired man who looked so damn genuinely concerned that he felt sick to the bone. This couldn't be right, he couldn't be even capable of that, he was just a fu- "Sorahiko," All for One repeated, this time placing a hard on his shoulder, and the gesture was so weirdly soothing that he flinched at this. "I am not going to hurt you. You know that, Sorahiko. Otherwise I would've done so already."

He registered, in the back of his mind, that it was likely to be an effect of a nerve soothing quirk, it must've been also touch based, because the moment All for One pulled away, anxiety washed over him again.

"Why?" He choked out more of a sob than a solid question, making the villain frown in confusion and worry. "Why even make an effort? You could've just killed me. Could've- you could've come for him and, I don't know, used some quirk on him to make him-"

"But I didn't. And I am not planning to, at least, not yet," he shook his head with a sigh. "Truth is, I'm tired of this, Sorahiko. Think about it. My brother was murdered years, decades ago and I'm still trying to get the last thing left of him only to meet newer and newer generations of people trying to murder me. I haven't been fully in control of what I've built back then in years, I'm sure you have noticed that. You- oh God, you really haven't noticed the drop in crime activity, have you?"

"I had other concerns," the hero shrugged. "Why now?"

"As I said, tiredness. Nana's successor hasn't been quite shaped into the Commission's murder machine, yet, and I want to make this deal beneficial for both sides."

Torino eyed him suspiciously and crossed his arms, considering his chances.

An opportunity to make All for One step back. To not let more blood be spilled later. Though, in exchange for the only thing capable of stopping him…

"What would be our benefit from this, then?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Freedom," he said simply.

"Freedom?"

"No more heroics," the villain nodded, continuing. "No more being the Commission's lap dog. No more all of this, raising your successors thing and hiding for years. Freedom."

"What makes you think I would agree to this?"

That, for some reason, made All for One laugh. Startled, Sorahiko stared at him for a moment perhaps too long enough before he decided to ask.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing much. You've spent so much time fighting along side with Nana, helping her carry her oh so tremendous duty of the Saviour and now you have her successor, but tell me what, Sorahiko. Would you still try to play a hero, were these factors to be taken away? And even if you did, do you actually want to burden a literal child with this? What is he, seventeen? I could crush him with one hit if I wanted. So, do you really not think it'd be stupid to refuse this chance? After all, you guys have made it your duty to defeat the demon lord or whatever people call me these days with One for All and see where the problem steps in. I am not willing to fight anymore, taking apart everything my brother's little heroes tried to build so hard. I can't bring him back, either. In other words, I am only asking you to be reasonable. To help me end this. So, what will be, Sorahiko?"

Gran Torino hesitated, looking at All for One, who was now back to calmly drinking his tea, once more. Suddenly, he became hyper aware of everything around them. All the people, every life to be lost if he refused.

He was cornered. And honestly, he was so, so tired.

Torino sighed. "Fine. Let's just get this over with."

thank you for sharing! wow! i need to know CONTEXT and RESOLUTION. reading and rereading it, i'm pretty sure sorahiko's not betraying toshinori to all for one for 'the sake of survival'. then again, what could AfO be asking of sorahiko...?

[caption id: Additional note from the writer that says, "Side note number two while I'm at it. The same classmate who decided to retell a one piece arc asks when is the next chapter. Should I go for it lmao."]

The answer being, yeah, of course!! Would I ever deny myself Prime Torino content???

[margridarnauds]

14, 19 and 10 for the tav ask game! Any tav :)

10. Was your Tav in a relationship? How did it end?

I KNOW Malla's had flings with women, especially when it could get her an edge. She's very familiar with that side of things, it doesn't surprise her. As you'd expect from a stereotypical Drow, they were relatively brief and ended bloodily. She fell into...well. A little more than lust, a little less than LOVE with Minthara at first sight, being simultaneously impressed by her, disgusted that she had turned away from Lolth, and *interested*, and there was no real hesitation as far as what option she was going to take. (For Kitrye, this would have required three acts of conflict.)

Kitrye...I don't write her as a virgin, I think she's had sex at some point in 276 years, but she's just picky enough and just discrete enough that she never bothered to tell me who. It hasn't been often and, whenever it was, it was a long time pre-canon. It would have had to have been someone who she'd formed a long-term bond with, since I generally think she falls somewhere on the demisexual side of things (she has to patiently explain to Raphael on multiple occasions that she has absolutely no attraction to Haarlep, she's attracted to *him*). Probably another Eilistraeean. Probably while she was still in the Underdark.

Ana has fucked. She is a bard, she is involved in the infernal hierarchy, AND she is Raphael's daughter, now with actual rizz. She has fucked. (My only hope and prayer is that Raphael did NOT follow in his father's footsteps and grant her own personal incubus when she came of age.) (Knowing Raphael, I am not certain that this is the case.) I do not believe she has been in an actual relationship, though -- she's currently sleeping with Astarion because, in her mind, I think it's....a bit of fun. A lot of fun with someone who matches her sense of chaos, but nothing serious. If she ends up going for Wyll, which was the planned trajectory, it will very much be a surprise for her, her kind of falling into a very serious relationship unexpectedly with someone who is very much Not her usual type. (Though Astarion would also be a surprise, since suddenly, she has to decide whether it really IS just fun.) It highlights her going from...honestly, still a relatively NICE hellion, all things considered, to developing a greater sense of responsibility and care, even beyond, say, the tieflings.

14. Does your Tav have any childhood friends?

So, because I FIRST started playing Ana in a multiplayer game with a dear friend (she now has her own single-player game), she has a semi-canonical best friend, Rikka, the barbarian dwarf. Which, given Korrilla's existence, just gives the idea of Raphael at a certain point sitting down and deciding that his daughter needed her own Emotional Support Dwarf. ("What do children want? I know!")

Kitrye and Malla were really one another's closest allies and friends, even if there was always a certain level of uncertainty in that relationship. It really was them against the world and neither one of them can ever fully forget that.

19. Any memories that stick out to you/your Tav pre-tadpole?

Malla will always remember being in the streets of Menzoberranzan, dodging the underbelly of Drow society, learning how to be quick, fast, and quiet. She might not remember the name she used to have, but she'll never forget the day she was given the name that she'd live the rest of her life by.

For Kitrye, the first time she encountered Eilistraee, the feeling of love and comfort, escaping the Underdark, how terrifying and exhilarating it was all at once, sleeping under the stars for the first time. Before that, her memories of her early alchemical experiments, under the supervision of the house wizard, who acted as a sort of mentor figure to her.

For Ana, it's a relatively simple thing, but her violin classes -- her mentor, who was a world class violinist who looked only moderately terrified to be there (they might or might not have faced some outright coercion to teach someone's little hellion as the result of an infernal contract), the first few times she was able to start playing actual SONGS and making MUSIC, feeling proud of the calluses on her fingers as they developed.

[clamorybus]

sometimes i forget that other people have a different idea of 'camping' than my family does

the campground we frequent used to be farmland in new hampshire. its owned by one family, and now descendants of the family made it into a family-only campground. we aren't related to the family, but it's my dad's best friend's family, so he's been going there every year since he was 15. so adopted family, in a sense.

the campsites are lots you have to pay rent for (and electricity if you use it). each family gets to put their own site together. most campsites are what you expect: a camper or a tent with a grill and a fireplace

but my dad? he loves this campground more than the blood relatives do. pretty sure more than he loves me (and he adores me!). and because he's a carpenter with a love of the trade, he goes BANANAS. like when i was a toddler we lived in a tent, and between then and adulthood we lived in trailers. then my dad built a closed-in porch around the camper. its basically a mini-cabin with a fully functional kitchen. i haven't gone up in a few years but apparently he's removed the trailer altogether and made it an actual cabin. plus a small one on the side of the lot for my brother, SIL, and niece when they stay up there. and a little gazebo for the grill and cooler. an a fence that doubles as firewood storage. and old fairylights strung over the place

it's been a decades' long project for him, but that campsite is his pride and joy. honestly it was worth it for all those mornings he woke me up with his buzz saw. tbh the only reason he hasn't built more is because the town won't give him the permits ajdjsk.

we legitmately have the best campsite out of all of them. and i WILL brag because i am very proud of my father 😌 and tbh everyone there agrees; my dad is there legitimately every weekend, as opposed to a few times a season, so it's also the cleanest and in the best shape

but enough about the campsites ahdjsla it's all about the people! they're, well...the kind of northerners who think they're ""Country"" because they own a gun and listen to country 102.5 on the radio. you know what i mean? which is. obnoxious in many ways, to say the least. fun crowd to get drunk with though

a lot of them are people i disagree with on a fundamental level, so i tend to avoid them and give a polite 'hi how are ya' when they approach me. that feels really passive aggressive and wishy-washy tbh. i do wish i had the guts to speak my mind with them more.

growing up at Camp was really fun though! since everyone knew each other we all looked after each other. there were kids of all ages, and the older ones usually watched over the tots. kind of parentification ig, but again most people only went there occasionally so its more like reluctant baby sitting for an afternoon. and as long as we told mom where we were heading off to, we got to do whatever. we basically got to free roam starting when we were five.

we didn't have anything fancy like a pool or an arcade, but we had a playground (my autistic ass spent most of my time on the swings. like from 11 to 18, most of the time i was up there i was on the swings). we had a horseshoe pit, a creek behind the horseshoe pit that the drunk adults would piss in at night and we kids would splash barefoot in the next day. we caught frogs and newts and snakes and fireflies. deep in the woods, there was this huge "quarry" (some kind of acre wide crater left behind from an abandoned construction project); it was a rite of passage for kids to make the trek there. i always described the place as looking like a stereotypical photo of Arizona. we could play in that sand pit for hours, but we were always afraid some construction foreman would jump out of the woods and catch us, even though no one had been there for years

most of the time, Camp is a mellow place where you can kick back, crack open a cold one, and shoot the shit around the campfire. but MAN are holidays a party! labor day, fourth of july, and memorial day are biggest weekends, natch. almost everyone makes it up there. there's bingo, ice cream and popcorn, karaoke (one of the families have a little band so they have the equipment), and a lot of alcohol. there's drunken dads and uncles setting up fireworks on the fourth that go off dangerously close to the trees. kids whipping each other with glow sticks. it's a blast!

though the *best* time is Reunion! it's a family campground, after all. if a family can only make it up once a year, its for reunion. reunion is like the other holidays, but more! first of all, it's the first weekend of august so it's always around my dad's birthday, so we usually celebrate there. but outside of that, the families all get an assignment for the weekend. some families work as full-on food vendors--hot dogs, homemade fries, ice cream, popcorn, the works! there's games for the kids on saturday morning; sack races, three legged races, tug of war, etc. another family manage the Chinese Auction, the big event of the weekend. it's just a raffle so idk why they call it that. but everyone brings in something, and one family a year is in charge of maintaining the auction; selling the tickets, organizing the prize tables, calling the names on Sunday, yknow. friday or saturday evening is a big potluck. the family with the band usually plays live music on Saturday nights. on sunday morning, another family is in charge of making breakfast for everyone at the pavilion. at 6 am sharp. it varies a bit but it's usually scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, pancakes, home frieds, oj, and coffee. though this one family always serves biscuits and gravy which are 👄👌. and the best part is: my family isn't blood family so we never have to do anything but partake in the festivities 😌

okay this is REALLY long, and for no good reason ajdjdksk. but camp means a lot to me, for better or worse. i do have complicated feelings about it. it's legitimately my second home, and the people there are my second family. they fully watched me grow up, and ive watched the younger kids grow up, and now they're having kids. i had alcohol for the first time there, shot a gun for the first time, got drunk for the first time, had my first kiss there, learned to fish, learned to swim, learned to drive. never once as a kid did i feel afraid there. i got to be free and have fun.

but it feels different as an adult. a lot of people there are the total opposite of me politically. a lot of them are racist, homo and transphobic, and military bootlickers and every other sentence out of their mouth makes me violently angry. all the adults there knew me since i was in my mother's guts and they watched me grow up, but that didn't stop some of the men--my honorary uncles--from undressing me with their eyes or making passes at me. growing up there were campsites i wasn't even allowed to *walk by* when the campers there are drinking. when he was a teenager, camp is where my older brother got cigarettes and drugs when his football teammates held out on him. there's horrible things that happen behind closed doors that the adults would ignore because 'xyz is such a good guy/woman otherwise!'. a lot of problems you find in any community, i guess. it's complicated

[cinnamonest]

i just want to say i have so many thoughts about dad!kaeya...

he's so infuriatingly hypocritical, tells his daughter that "oh no you cant do X, wear Y, or even hang out with Z" and if she questions him he just lists tons of (often perverted) examples of why she shouldn't do/wear/meet whatever or whomever. like these series of asks rewired my damn brain ԅ(♡﹃♡ԅ)

so i was wondering if you had any more to add onto dad!kaeya like you did with child and diluc (´•ω•`๑)

also a huge hug and welcome back to you! i love and appreciate your content so much (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

AHHHH thank you!!! And YES I am here for the Dad!Kaeya agenda

YES he IS the biggest hypocrite because he'll always talk about things he's done and then be so shocked when you do the same thing. Like when telling you stories from his youth he'll be like "haha yeah this one time I got so wasted I woke up half naked in the street lol" but when YOU come home like "sorry I didn't come back till this morning I got so wasted I woke up half naked in the street lol" he's about to blow a fuse, sitting there with a twitching, strained smile. You did what?? Public drunkenness? Do you not realize people could take advantage of you? Unbelievable. He raised you better than this.

...Okay, so maybe he didn't actually raise you better than this, but... haven't you ever heard 'do as I say not as I do?' Obviously just because he does something doesn't mean it's okay for you to do... you're different. Way more naive and vulnerable and all that.

So yes, whenever you start dressing similarly to him, tight clothes and gaps in the right (wrong, for you) places, hanging around the wrong crowds, engaging in unsavory behaviors... it's cause for him to sort of backpedal. He's generally a very lax and easygoing parent -- while he made sure you were safe, he didn't enforce a lot of behavioral rules, was a lot less strict than most parents and let you do what you want quite a bit, spoiled you and all that... but clearly there must have been a mistake or two made in doing so.

And he's fully aware that it's quite hypocritical, so he doesn't lay into you outright, he just sort of clenches his jaw for a moment while coming up with what to say... he tells you that, well, listen sweetheart, he tells you stories like that so that you can learn from his mistakes, that's all... not so that you can replicate them. Maybe he just hasn't emphasized the negative effects of such things well enough. See, alcohol impairs your judgement and reasoning and sense of awareness... yes yes, that's the point when he's the one doing the drinking (bonus points if that may or may not kinda also be how you came into existence...), but it's different for you. You're too vulnerable.

On that note of that backstory idea... Consider daughter!darling being a sort of substitute. Poor single father Kaeya, who got some sort of friends-with-benefits or oe night stand knocked up sort of deal... and he was perfectly okay with it! He was actually really depressed when she ran off and didn't come see him again after that night... and for half a second was really happy when he sees her again, thinking she's coming to tell him she's changed her mind on whatever made her socially ghost him... but no, it's just to tell him about the pregnant thing... oh. And he's happy about that at first too!

He doesn't care if people look down on him for the out-of-wedlock part, he was more than content with settling down and getting married and.... oh. She doesn't look happy. Turns out she doesn't want that. Avoids him for a long time, even though he scours the city looking for her. Shows up one day to shove you in his arms and disappears. And try as he might, he can't find her again... in the few seconds it took him to set you down, he looked back up and she was gone, unable to be found in the crowd, probably moved to a new city...

You only ever hear about this in bits and pieces, though, you sort of have to piece together what happened to your mother over the years as you grew, he was very reluctant to talk about it. You once heard one of the knights (with whom you used to spend a lot of time under their care as a kid when he'd bring you to work, having no one to stay at home with you) that he still won't date other people, heard another one of them tell one of the newbies about the story--

--still convinced in the back of his mind that she'll come back some day, poor guy...

And yet another time, you hear two of them whisper to each other. Say that, well, it was a casual thing, he even admits to that, so he probably wasn't the only person in her life,

--think that he knows deep down that she ran off with some other guy, just doesn't wanna accept it...

People who know him seem to feel bad for him about it. Maybe that's why he's always been so protective... even now as an adult, why he's always insistent on knowing where you are all the time, even though he's otherwise pretty laid back as a parent. Why he's always insists on knowing who you're with. Chuckles and makes jokes just a bit too often that someone is going to go running off with you and take you away, of course he can't let that happen, haha...you've never actually dated anyone, though. Everyone says your dad is a bit too intimidating, which you can't imagine how they'd think that! He's like, such an easy person to get along with... they say he has a glare, but you don't really see it.

Either way, you're content with the way things are for a while... eventually, of course, as you get older, you do start talking about trying to find someone to settle down with. He always laughs a bit. Haha, gonna up and leave me all alone now? He smiles when he says it, as if joking, but... there's something genuine in his tone. You insist you'll always stay close. You have to live your own life, surely he understands that.

The older you get, the more intense this overprotectiveness seems to become. Always asking where you've been, why you stayed out so late... you had him worried. You're not a kid anymore, at your age, you know, anyone asking to hang out late at night probably has specific intentions... he can't have anyone leading you astray. You're so easily manipulated, so gullible, so eager to please, you'd probably make stupid decisions if someone tried to get you to... that's why he has to be there for you.

And another habit he's seemed to develop in addition to that increase in over-protectiveness... although he used to refrain from ever mentioning her at all, these days he says every now and then that you look just like your mother... ah, it almost feels like he's traveled back in time. He's always maintained a youthful appearance himself, so, you two practically look just like they did together back then. There's a sadness to the way he smiles when he reminisces. He becomes clingier... starts saying you two haven't spend enough time together lately, you should go do something together... Every time now you say you're going out to grab this or that, he insists on going with you.

Can't have you meeting someone else while you're out shopping or picking up something. No, that would be unideal... he'd hate to have to chase anyone else off. He really hates it when they're persistent, when they have to be threatened or blackmailed to be convinced to stay away from his precious little girl. He always looks out for those ones, who undoubtedly still remember him, looks them in the eye from a distance if he sees them with a cold glare to ensure they don't get any ideas about letting you know your father is chasing people away from you. That would only end poorly for them, and he's sure they know that.

You, you poor naive thing, probably truly believe you're just unpopular... you always have been. You've always had difficulty making friends, especially boys, always found people tend to not contact you again after going out just one time, find people tend to shy away from you as if afraid. You've never understood why... but your father always told you they just don't know how special you are, don't know what they're missing out on. It's sweet, even if you know it's cheesy, and it does make you feel better... you always go to him when you're sad or hurt, and he's always there to comfort you.

But it's not wrong of you to want what everyone else seems to want, right? To find a real partner...? Not that you don't love your father, but he's... well, he's your father. You want to find chemistry and the spark of love and all that... not matter how repetitively unsuccessful you seem to be thus far. Having no one else you can think of, you suck it up and go to your father for dating advice... he just laughs. Ah, what do you need that for? Come on, it's way too early to be thinking about that, you're so young, you shouldn't be thinking about dating until, like, years from now, really. Even if you disagree, even if people your age are all getting married... you still listen, because he knows best, doesn't he? Maybe you should wait a bit...

Except when a whole year passes, and you ask again, he keeps saying the same thing. And again later on, and again even later, again and again... you eventually tell him you're not too young, all of your friends are already married! You need to find someone....

To which he almost seems... hurt. Have I done something to make you unhappy...? Why do you want to move out so badly? C'mon, talk to me about it, you can tell me anything... You try to explain that it's not that, it's not that you want to leave him, it's just... but he interrupts you. It happens more and more often now. He doesn't even let you finish your sentences. It's like he's cutting you off intentionally, refusing to let you explain in order to keep the narrative that you're trying to leave him out of anger or something, no matter how much you insist it's untrue. There's a tension in the house that builds and builds.

It comes back to bite him when that tension makes you not want to be at home as often. You spend more time out in town. You get more frustrated the more you think about it. You feel defeated when every potential attractive person you meet seems to exit the conversation and flee from you the moment you come up to them. Is there something that off-putting about you...? Is it something about your identity, since most people at least have some idea of who you are...?

Your troubles lead you, one night, to heavy drinking at the tavern... glass after glass. You lose count. Maybe father dearest will at least help you with the tab tomorrow -- him and Charles are well-acquainted enough that he often lets either of you go home and come back to pay the next day or so. You're so lost in your thoughts you barely notice the rather handsome stranger that comes up to you... someone from out of town. Someone who doesn't know you, doesn't know your father... and seems eager to talk to you. You share more drinks, you talk and laugh and you actually get along well. This guy seems so much more receptive to you than any Mondstadter.

Even as the night goes on and you get more and more wasted, you feel the warm, tingly feeling of excitement, that 'butterflies in your stomach' you've so often heard described, but never gotten to experience... and perhaps that's why you don't hesitate to accept the stranger's offer to go back to the inn he's staying at with him. You giggle and sway and say sure, you could use a night away from home...

...Not that you ever actually make it there. You barely get a minute's walk out of the tavern before you run into, who would've guessed, your father, rather frantically searching for you. If you were fully sober, you might have understood the process of emotions playing out on his face -- worry, then surprise, recognition, relief, contentment... and then his eye narrows as he rushes over to you. On edge. Confrontational. Irritated. ...Who's your friend...?You, in your drunkenness, say something to the effect of that it's fine, you're just out for the night, you're fine, it's okay for him to go home and... but he's already grabbing you by the shoulders, rerouting you towards home.

You protest, you're pretty sure the guy protests as well, or at least voices confusion, although he gives up rather easily, seeming to realize this was something he didn't want to get involved in, or so you think... you don't really remember that part very well, it's mostly a blur the next morning, you just know that soon the guy was out of sight because you were being walked back home very quickly, with a firm, even painful grip on your wrist.

He's been a poor influence, perhaps. Shouldn't've drank so much when you were younger. That's his fault... but that doesn't mean he can just let you do what you want and get yourself hurt. You're so lucky he saw you, reached you in time before someone tried to take advantage of you in that state... you would have certainly regretted it. Still, he can't mask his disappointment and frustration with you. What were you thinking? How could you just not come home that evening without telling him, letting him drive himself sick with worry looking all over for you? Why have you been behaving so recklessly and inconsiderately lately? It's not like you...

Why do you want to get away from me so much...?It's not like there's anything others can provide you that he can't... oh, but perhaps there is. Right. Of course, that's the issue. Sometimes, even though he consciously realizes it, his subconscious can't help but see you as so little and forget you're fully grown... you're just so precious to him. But he knows you're an adult, so you have your needs. That's the only thing he can't fill... that's the only reason you've been trying so, so hard to get away from him. You want someone who can fill those needs for you. If only he could do that, then you won't try to run from him.

But he can, really. Maybe some might find it strange, but if you ask him, he can fill those needs better than anyone could. And really, he's been neglecting his own as well, all these years... He knows you so well, you trust him, you're comfortable with him... and what better time to find out than when you're so out of it anyhow? You won't fight back too hard, you mostly just make confused little sounds, try to wiggle away, slur out some somewhat panicked, albeit incomprehensible words... he just hushes you and gives you a soft kiss... first to your forehead, and, now that he thinks about it... he presses one to your mouth too. It's okay. Daddy will take care of you. And he does -- maybe your body doesn't fight it as strongly due to your drunken state, but you do find yourself reaching orgasm with him inside you. He follows soon after... it's so easy. You do look so similar to her... you even feel the same. See, you fit together so well, because he loves you so much. Because you're his. No one else could ever make you feel as good as he does, or so he murmurs in your ear. He gives you so many kisses. Holds you so gently. Lets you fall asleep in his arms.

And, of course, he's prepared for the horror that settles in when you wake up. He could tell you weren't so drunk you wouldn't remember. He calms you down, pulls you close in an embrace... and when that fails to calm you, he squeezes you so tight you can't breathe, murmurs soft words in your ear that seem to contrast the crushing grip. It's okay... you'll see. He can take so much better care of you than anyone else. Other people would only ever hurt you. Other people will get you to sleep with them, make you fall in love with them, and then they just disappear like that and it's so, so painful... he would know.

This way, he's protecting you too. You'll understand that with time... even if for now you need to be grounded, as he calls it, tied up and locked in the house for a while until he can expect you to understand and not go doing something rash about this whole thing. He can't let you do that... not because it would get him put in prison, no, but because then, they would take you away from him. And he's learned his lesson... he's not letting someone else he loves slip through his fingers.

[king-maven-calore]

Fade:

“I’m a literature/theology/etc professor, you’re a math professor, it’s my first day and you have no idea who I am and start slating the subject I teach, who do you think you are?”

I made a tiny adjustment to the prompt but I hope you like it darling! 😘😘

This was supposed to be a temporary job. Just something to help her pay back her college loans before she could rush into the fray of revolution and overturn Norta's elites, to then (maybe) go back to the Lakelands and end the oppression of the proletariat there too. 

It's been five years though, and Diana Farley is still teaching history at Saint Victoria Academy. It's not the excellent paycheck that keeps her here, which obviously comes from the pockets of Albanus' wealthiest families. Neither is it the solid friendship she found with most of her colleagues, or the fully stocked coffee bar at the teacher's lounge. What keeps her here, despite her resentment toward the unequal access to quality education of this system, is the fact that she gets to impart knowledge and plant the seeds of radical ideas on eager, inquisitive minds. Her classes are known for prolonged debates and extensive, unconventional reading material.  

The kids (teens, to be more exact) she teaches blossom into new ideas like wildflowers in spring. It's beautiful to witness, and it makes her feel a deep responsibility to the task. So, she keeps showing them the most brutally honest and nuanced versions of historical events. At least until the day the school board decides she's gone too far and fires her. It hasn't happened yet, though she knows it someday will. She's not being paranoid, numerous pearl clutching parents have threatened her with this. Farley could not care less. 

As she makes her way to the teachers' lounge, she sees a temporary in memoriam wall dedicated to Sister Blonos. A picture with a candle underneath. RIP her least favorite colleague.  

It's not that Farley's a bitch, but the nun did call her a wretched commie lesbian on numerous occasions, and outright told her she was going to hell for corrupting children several more. There was no love lost between her and the late Theology teacher. Now, if Blonos had been a bit more like Sister Nanny, the music and theatre teacher, that would have been a whole 'nother story. There's a living example of ‘the Lord's love’ (whatever that means). 

Unsurprisingly, she's the first one to arrive. Everyone else is probably trading summer vacation anecdotes at the parking lot, jokingly moping about school starting again. Farley is actually excited to get back in the trenches of education. Her classroom is all set up already with maps, her laptop loaded with cool diagrams and presentations. She's come armed to this fight.  

She takes her place on the long mahogany table, sitting down on the high-backed leather chair, spins to face the inner grounds of Saint Victoria Academy through the big, ancient windows. 

"...Just try to keep the experiments to a minimum, Miss Barrow. I'm not asking for a lot." 

"How else are the punks going to pay attention? Besides, it was just a few lightbulbs, geesh." 

"It was half the building's electric installation." 

"A cheap price for the treasure of knowledge. Don't tell me how to do my job. You're not the boss of me." 

"I am your superior!" 

"Are you now? That makes quite the HR complain about what you were making me do last night!" 

"You were literally begging—" 

Diana coughs loudly and spins the chair around to let the newly arrived pair know she's there.  

Vice Principal Calore and Miss Barrow (or simply Mare for her) both halt to a stop, paling at the sight of her. Farley can see them mentally calculating whether their angry whispers were loud enough to reach her. In the name of friendship, Farley is willing to play dumb and let her closest co-worker delude herself into thinking that her inappropriate relationship is still a secret. As if no one has seen Calore preparing her coffee how she likes it, every day for two years now. Amongst other glaring sings. 

"Good morning, Mare," Diana fakes surprise without putting too much effort into it. "Sir," she nods at Calore. "How was your summer?" 

"Great!" they reply at the same time, making Mare glare at him. He smooths his tie, lowers his head and walks over to the coffee bar... and starts preparing two cups.  

Farley inwardly rolls her eyes. Seriously, why do they even bother? 

Mare sits down across from her. She starts telling her of the dog she found/adopted, which is a cute story sure, but when the rest of the teachers walk in the lounge, Diana stops listening. 

There are two men she doesn't recognize. One of them is a priest, and that's all the assessment he elicits. The other is a lean man with honey eyes on a handsome, gentle face comprised of soft angles that grant him that perpetually young look. 

Button down shirt, knit vest, slacks, and moccasins outfit straight out of the teacher's section of the rack. The fact that his chestnut curls are forcibly combed flat to the side annoys her for some reason.  

She imagines carding her fingers through the curls to loosen them to their natural state and her breath shallows for a cycle. Not that she cares about appearances but she is not a liar either. Truth is, that is a perfect human being where aesthetics are concerned. 

The man smiles down at Mare and rubs her shoulder, who looks up placing her hand upon his. 

"You're here! Farley, this is my brother. The decent one."  

"Shade?" she remembers quickly. 

He smiles the sort of smile that cures illnesses and lights up rooms, looking at her now. 

"The very one. I'm afraid to ask about what has she told you about the rest of the family." 

"You should be," Diana replies.  

Shade beams and makes a hand gesture toward the free chair next to hers. There are no assigned seats so she tells him that. 

The meeting starts. Calore welcomes them, makes a pun about the blackout incident Miss Barrow caused last year and they all laugh. He sobers up to remind them of Sister Blonos' passing, of the math department hiring a new teacher, then proceeds with other announcements. 

"They should have just saved the time and money from Blonos' class and used it for something worthwhile, for a change," Diana mumbles low enough that only Shade can hear her.  

He subtly slides his chair closer to hers. 

"I'm sure she can't have been that bad.” 

"I won't speak ill of the dead, but I was talking about Theology. There's a useless class if I ever heard of one." 

He blinks several times at her brutal honesty.  

"Don't you think kids have a right to wonder about that which they cannot see?" 

"You mean physics?" Farley interprets the question liberally to make her point. "That's what your sister is here for." 

"Physics phenomena are measurable." 

"And religion is the opium of the masses." 

"Ah Marx, old fella," the corner of Shade's mouth twitches as if they’re sharing a private joke. Something unfurls inside her like a cat placidly stretching under the sun. 

Farley is just a bit impressed a math teacher knows who the quote actually belongs to. 

"Before that, though," Shade proceeds, leaning in so close she can smell his cologne. Damn, it’s really nice. "He writes that religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature." 

Fair enough. Farley finds it hard to look away once her gaze has settled on him. Like trying to lift a spoon from a jar of thick honey, much like the rich color of his eyes.  

She arches an eyebrow. 

"If comfort is what we're talking about then psychology should suffice, or even art. Again, classes we already have." 

"Art is to the soul what religion is to the spirit. That's where theology comes in. To add a different perspective to the way our students can see the world." 

"It creates division and wars. I would know: I teach them." 

"Fear and ignorance create those. Actual knowledge would do the opposite and create mutual understanding,” he whispers passionately. 

"Actual knowledge" she repeats pointedly, "not that archaic bullshit filled with prejudice, meant to maintain the status quo and keep the working class blinded with fairy tales. Theology is delusional garbage." 

Shade stares at her so intently, for so long that it feels as if time has stopped, suspended from a thin thread. Waiting to snap at the first sound or blink. Every fiber in her being is strung up, ready for something to happen. 

"Revolutions are built on faith," he delivers like a killing blow.  

The tension in her releases in the form of all consuming, violent indignation.  

She intends to tell him a long list of real things successful revolutions were based on, ask him who the fuck does he think he is to mansplain this topic to her. "Are you—?!" 

"Thank you for your words, Father Cortez!" Calore claps giving her a look to shut up and pay attention. Shoot, the priest was speaking and she didn't even notice.  

Go to hell Calore, walking HR nightmare. She mentally shouts, squinting her eyes at him, joining on the round of polite applause. 

"We're all happy to welcome you to the math department." 

Wait... if the priest is the math teacher if that means... 

Farley's hands freeze mid applause as she turns to... 

"And the second incorporation this year." Calore smiles and extends his hand in to the chair beside hers. "Shade Barrow. Our new Theology teacher."  

If there is a god, they must be laughing at her. Fuck.  

[honey-lemonz]

From wattpad:

Xmale reader

3rd pov

Sexual Content is included move on if not comfortable with

Includes:masturbation, but plug, dildo, getting caught, slight degrading rough and passionate sex, multiple orgasms, sexual frustrated Obanai.

Request by:EMOPHASEWHENIWASAKID

(Some parts by me other by the Request..)

(if you read American boy here is your smut that I never added. Taisho era)

For almost two years the sun pillar was sent away on an expedition mission to northern Japan, the rumor of the blue spider lily was heard around. A rumor that sounded so true that Muzan may go there himself.

The pillar wasn't sent for the flower he was sent for the upper moon that could be sent or the demon lord himself.

Leaving behind his younger siblings, Tanjiro and Nezuko who was demon. He was also leaving his lover. Iguro Obanai the serpent pillar.

Obanai understood reasons they sent him. He could handle the cold and could handle the upper moon without and problems..its just..

Its been two whole years without him. That meant no one to come home to at their home. Kaburamaru had no ball of sunshine that could let him sleep in his hair. But for obanai it was worst.

Two years sexually frustrated.

Obanai has tried many things even taken suggestions from others. Nothing. 

He could get off on just memories or the kimono's he wore that were left behind. He has sent letters but most were professional ones. Not any promising any punishment or any reward when he would return. It would get to were he would put a but plug in his ass just to satisfy the itch that his lovers cock could get to.

He had to be feeling the same way? Right?

Or was someone else pleasuring him? No he couldn't, Obanai knew. Only he could satisfy his lover the best.

The serpent pillar sat on the back patio of his shared home. For the time being he had finished taking another nap. He had a dream about a fantasy about his lover returning and fucking him ruthlessly.

But a dream is only as good as you make it.

He walked back to the futon on the floor. Feeling the arousal slowly makings its way out of his tight heat. The but plug wasn't going to work anymore. He needed something fucking him, penetrating him.

Pulling the (favorite color) toy out of his hole, leaving it gaping and stretched. Obanai whined at the loss full feeling. But he got up and went into the bathroom. In a small black box were a box full of toys Obanai had even before meeting his lover.

But after meeting him..they weren't needed at all.

Obanai squatted and looked inside for the dildo he wanted. He found one that was about 5 and half inches and was a good 2 inches wide. It should do for now.

In these two years he has been a horny mess. Constantly needing something to please him and the uphill battle of his needs. He just wanted his lover back to please all those needs. 

God it was infuriating.

Obanai's own cock was still hard as when he woke up from his nap. Tip red and need of attention. It was painful but still didn't go away. He just could not finish.

Obanai sat down on the silicone dildo and moaned at the feeling. it wasn't a bratty or a desirable one just a moan of something inside him. It filled a good percent but not enough to reach his prostate. Obanai started to move up and down, bouncing on the dildo.

His white kimono slipping off his shoulders, showing his smooth skin and none marked skin. that was another whole problem he didn't like. 

Trying to get down to the hilt of the dildo to at least graze his prostate to ease the itch, he was moaning and gasping at the fullness. Maybe this time his needs would be met.

Obanai was stroking himself and teasing his nipples, the sensitive buds were being pulled at and pinched, leaving the pillar awe struck. 

Moaning his lovers name as if it was a cry or a plea. Obanai speed up his pace, moving to lye on his back and use his hands. One hand stroking himself the other using the dildo to fuck himself. He was so close, eyes becoming glossy at the feeling. 

"(M?N) FUCK~! Fuck, fuck, shit, please my love come fuck me.." he was crying for his dear lover. The dildo wasn't hitting the right spots no more, and the itch grew even more harsh. His toes curling and his head thrown back on the futon.

"Why when your obviously doing it yourself? Having a hard time getting off my cute little baby?"

Obanai froze. His eyes snap open to see his love sitting cross legged on the opposite side of the room. He was in his uniform, (favorite color) but plug in hand inspecting it. "So this is what you have been doing while I have been away. Begging me to come home and fuck you silly like the slut you are? That's quite surprising isn't it."

His words weren't hurtful just teasing. Obanai could see the large bugle growing in his pants. The sun pillar had his hair down which rested the floor. His uniform at the top was slightly unbuttoned at the showing his chest and abdomen. His eyes had bags under them. But his eyes..

Something Obanai has only seen a handful of times.

Eyes were darker and burning with a lust. His stare and hoarse voice was enough to set the tone.

Obanai felt his cock twitch and he moaned out a spur of curses. 

"Now your having dry orgasms by just my appearance? You must be a desperate little whore today aren't you?" He didn't move from his spot what so ever.

Just drinking in on his expression. It was filling and made both Obanai and (M/n) twitch.

"Please, my love its been two fucking years with out you,please fuck me.." The sun pillar chuckled. "So my cutie is begging to be fucked? That's unlike you Obanai. If you can fuck yourself can't yo get off?"

Obanai groaned at the teasing. He just wanted him to fuck him. 

The an idea came to him.

His lover looked too calm for him. He needed him to get to his level of arousal, by being a fucking brat about things. if he wanted to get fucked he needed to do more.

"No."

The eyes on the sun pillar widen. 

"Why no then cutie? I just saw you so continue."

"No. I want you to fuck me. Unless you've lost your touch." Obanai said getting a little more confident. If keep going he would get the punishment he deserved.

"If my dildo was that close than what says you? I've used them plenty since you left two years ago. SO why don't you come over here and fuck me. Or has the sun pillar found a better bottom bitch to fuck?"

That set the fuel to the flame.

Calm and collected turned to possessive and aroused.

(M/n) was possessive of Obanai, he loved him and only him. Insinuating that he found a better person to fuck made the calm pillar pissed. Obanai knew this, because his lover can get jealous and possessive he knew what he did.

And is getting what he wanted.

The sun pillar was on Obanai in less than a second.

Choking his neck tightly and pinning his hands above his head. Eyes that were usually full of love and kindness, were dark with lust and irritation. He knew his words were empty but couldn't let it up.

"Why when I have a bratty bottom slut here? You want to piss me off for a good fuck cutie? You want me to pound you, make sure you can't walk for a fucking year?"

Obanai had another dry orgasm from his words. This is what two years of a pent up sun pillar was..

Then he should be sent off more often. ( Empty threat.) He hasn't even touched him fully for him to even think like that. The red headed male unbuttoned the rest of his uniform, not having the patience to take off all of his clothes. He undid the belt, taking the hands off of Obanais wrist.

His cock sprung free.

Oh how Obanai wanted to suck him off and tease him. But now wasn't the time.

(M/n) pulled the dildo out and scowled at it.

"Such a pathetic size, this trying to please your for that long, no wonder you couldn't get off cutie..don't worry we'll fix that..

positioning him at Obana's desperate hole, he slammed into him.

"Now!"

Obanai threw his head back and scream. His cock spurted long ropes of cum. Something he couldn't do until now.

"Cumming already? We just started, you really were a desperate slut?" He slammed into him again. Ever word followed a thrust, each time hitting Obanai's prostate and making his see stars. (M/n)'s past wasn't fast or slow. Just from Obanai challenging him made him almost bust a load.

The hand around Obanai's neck tightened, pushing on certain spots to not restrict air, just to make him a little dizzy. Obanai's toes curled as his lover slammed his cock into his tight heat all while degrading him.

His reward.

(M/n) pushed his legs to his chest, making his cock go even deeper into Obanai's dripping heat. He was truly surprised, he was that pent up himself. He didn't even have time to masturbate himself on the expedition.

"Fuck, my cutie your so cute looking fucked out of your mind. Is that what you wanted? To get fucked stupid by me?"

Incoherent word mumbled back a response.

"Yes..please~ fuck..*hic* me more~" He was hiccuping from the tears. The long haired pillar nodded and made sure to aim for his prostate and to basically abuse it as best as he could. Sweat ran down his forehead, making his hair stick to it. The white shirt underneath the black on was sticking to the sides of his torso.

Obanai's eyes had tears brimming out, drool slipping from his lips. His hands held his legs to his chest, hair spread out on the futon all around him. Moans and shouts, hollers and begs came out of his mouth without a care of who heard.

That's what the larger pillar wanted. he wanted anyone and everyone hear his beloved getting fucked out of his mind.

"Such a good little slut..you want the whole village and headquarters to hear your getting a good fuck cutie? You want them to hear you getting pounded by your lover? How you begged and been a bratty  bitch with a fucking plug between your legs? You want to be seen as my slut then I will make you my slut."

He pulled out of Obanai's tight and puckered out hole, flipping him face first into the futon. Using his foot to keep him in place and rammed back into him and a faster pace. Obanai's moans and screams were blocked from the futon mat he was getting fucking into.

 His cock spurted more roped of cum even though it wasn't touched.  His lover feverishly gripping and slapping his ass for good measure.

"God fuck, i'm going to cum and fill your little whore hole kay? I need you to tell me who the fuck gets to fuck your bratty ass kay cutie?"

Mumbles came as an answer. (M/n) making and annoyed noise, pushed his foot harder on Obanai's head. "Can't hear you cutie, you don't get my cum if i can't hear you like fucking you. Again and louder.  Why can fuck this bratty ass cutie?"

"Y-you.."

"Louder cutie!" He removed his foot from his head and pushed his chest into Obanai's back, teasing his over sensitive nipples and continued slamming into him.

"LOUDER."

"FuCk~ YOU DO!" Obanai had tears all over his face, face read and a mess.

"Good now let me fill you with cum like the slut your are. Such a pretty cutie for me." As he said that another orgasm ran through Obanai. It was becoming painful a little.

Obanai's babbles were filled with begs about being his cumslut and filling him to the brink. With one final thrust, making the smaller male see stars again. His desperate prostate and hole was filled with thick and large amounts of the larger's cum.

Emptying himself out, Obanai's hole was milking him dry of the desperate need that was begging to be released. His loved pushed deeper to make sure he took all he had to offer.

He slowly pulled out of his stretched and abused hole, gaping at the loss of contact and fullness. Obanai screamed again while being filled and also came again. He could feel his lovers seed push out of his hole and onto the futon below them.

Pushing the hair out of his face, (M/n) looked at the sight his lover was him. The demon slayer below him, the feared serpent pillar of the demon slayer headquarters looked as if he had been drugged.

Well he was, off of his lovers addicting seed, smell and cock.

"You did so well cutie, such a good slut. See if you follow instructions you could get fucked like this more often instead of pissing me off kay?"

This even only made Obanai want to be even more of a brat to him.

^wattpad, kny oneshots.

[somensfw-blue]

Ur ideas are too good stop im gonna have to booba bite omgomgomgkmgo. Being excited to finally sit on his cock and and and and get fucked by it and he knows that so he makes you cockqarm him bevause he is a big bastard but like a good one and and maybe you neg for him to fuck you because you've been good maybe even, ok in my case maybe even a good puppy idk!!!!!! Yes mhm i agree - 🐩

horny brain took a couple read throughs to realise you said big bastard and not just that he's big but he is so that's okay

ok. okok. this is like... full smut,,, also... afab

warnings um... spanking. that's really about it

you were sat half-naked on his lap on your shared makeshift bed just making out as one does. vilbur's hands running up your sides and groping your ass and you had your hands on his shoulders and arms and running through his hair. and adrenaline is pumping - it hasn't really stopped since you ran from Manburg - and your hips were moving on their own. it's only light, but it's enough to feel his cock starting to grow under you.

you'd fucked before - quickies, drawn out punishments, once or twice it was slow enough to be "making love" if you were at all in love and not just using each other's bodies - but it was always you on your back, or you bent over a table, or you against a wall. you had never ridden him. it's not like it was something either of you had discussed, not that you ever really discussed how he was going to fuck you (other than setting boundaries. and aftercare, he always softened so much during aftercare, almost like he was his old self. asking if everything was okay, asking if there was something you didn't enjoy as much)

"sweetheart if you keep doing that i'm not sure i'm going to be able to control myself." (of course, if you said no, he would always always stop immediately, so it was a soft warning). in response you pushed your hips down, a forceful grind into him, and you felt his leg twitch. "you asked for this." he shifted under you, nudging you to the side to roll you onto your back, but you dropped your weight, creating a resistance, which had him tilt a head and raise a brow.

almost lazily you dragged your mouth down his jaw leaving wet kisses.

"wanna ride you." the sound he let out came from deep in his throat, and you pulled back to meet his eyes. you dug your nails into the meat of his bicep, contrasted with the soft thumb on your opposite hand running over his cheekbone. his own fingers dug into your hips, likely leaving bruises. "please."

his head fell back with a groan, and with his grip on your hips he moved you against his covered hardon, but he quickly looks back at you

he pulls at the elastic band of your underwear, letting it go with a snap against your skin.

"these need off." you paused for a moment before the words fully registered. holy shit you were going to ride him. you swung your leg off and pulled them down off your legs, letting them fall somewhere behind you. wilbur pulled off his boxers, throwing them roughly in the direction of your own.

your mouth almost started watering as you watched him stroke his cock while you climbed back onto his lap. you had touched it, sucked it, been totally filled by his cock many times, but every time you saw it again, your thighs clenched and your mind stuttered. he was just... so long. not hugely thick but it definitely made your jaw ache every time.

"you take control. for now at least." you take over from his hand, dragging it up and down before hovering above the tip of his cock. his hands never left your waist as he stared at you. your scrunched your nose as you concentrated, collecting your slick as you moved his tip back and forth. "control doesn't mean you can take you time, doll."

one hand on his shoulder, the other keeping his cock in place, you slowly dropped your hips. you had to adjust to him slowly every time, but the change in angle meant taking it even slower. he hummed lowly, and you gasped when you slipped quicker than you had planned.

wilbur let out a groan, one that you mirrored though louder, when he finally bottomed out in you. you raised your hips cautiously, testing the feeling the new angle gave, gently rocking back and forth a little. then you got confident, comfortably feeling the drag of his cock at the new angle, and his grip on your hips tightened.

"okay." he bit you jaw softly. "control is mine." suddenly you were unable to move, his hands not letting you shift, simply sat on his cock, keeping it nice and warm.

you loved cockwarming him. with your mouth, with your cunt. but right now you needed to move. you needed him to be fucking up into you

"wil, please. lemme move." each vowel was dragged out, pleading with him. "baby, please wil-" he just tsked at you, giving your sides a squeeze before moving one hand down to give you a light spank

"i said 'control is mine'. and i want to use you to cockwarm me right now." you whined and tried wriggling your hips, earning you another spank. "just be patient, doll." dropping your head into the crook of his neck, you left open mouth kisses, resigning to his plan to keep you still.

then without warning, he gave another spank, then squeezed your reddening ass cheek, and wilbur moved his hips up to meet your own as he dragged you up and down his cock, one hand on your hip the other on your ass. you gasped into his neck, moaning against his skin.

wilbur set a harsh pace, your hips all but dropping down onto him, bottoming out with every thrust. his tip hit you deeply every time, and every time you let out a gasped moan. he had never hit so harshly so deep before and you were obsessed.

the new angle must have been great for wilbur too, because he had not stopped babbling praises. he tried to maintain control for ego's sake, but he couldn't help himself. when he wasn't muttering how you felt "so good baby god so warm around my cock taking me so well" he was moaning into your ear or the crown of your head.

the feeling bubbled up quickly, your toes starting to curl and your moans starting to pitch

"wil i'm- close, wil-" he only let out a moan in response, bringing one hand up to your jaw so that he could bring your mouth to his. the kiss was barely a kiss, just messy, lots of spit and tongue.

"wh- whenever you want." often, wilbur had you asking to cum, begging so he could drag it out. but whether it was from the new position, or from another factor that had his brain going haywire, wilbur himself was embarrassingly close to cumming far sooner than he had before.

being given permission to cum 'whenever you wanted' was new, and you were going to hold out as long as you could (which,,, probably wasn't going to be long, not when the hand that was holding your jaw had moved to making harsh and quick circles on your clit). but you wanted him to cum first. it was something that hadn't happened in a while, but it was that little bit of ego you wanted to have.

wilbur let out broken moan that ended in a gasp. his leg twitched, his fingers digging into your ass (and the other stilling for just a moment on your clit), before cumming with another loud and broken moan.

it wasn't long after - you still moving up and down his cock - that your own legs shook, toes curling and your eyes rolling back, cumming on his cock. wilbur continued moving you up and down, slightly slower than your previous pace, helping you drag out your orgasm

when you came back down, you stayed on his cock, the mix of your orgasms slowly leaking down wilbur's length. he softly pressed kisses on your cheeks, on your hair, all the while muttering how well you did

[barsformars]

Tricky

//

g - fluff, slighttttttt angst, suggestive

p - san x reader

w.c - 1.9k

t.w - san touching reader's naked body

c - san takes care of you when you get injured and are left all alone at home. the catch is? both of you obviously have feelings for each other but.....san

a.n - uusjsjjs this was requested through private message! im sorry it took so long lmao uh, this is just 1.9k of plotless words nothing will be solved by the end of the story so its almost like word vomit???

t.l - @closer-stars @jeongyunhoed @fairyofdusk

//

"It's not funny," you snarled at the pink haired boy who seemed to be overly amused at this situation in which both your arms were put in slings. You had slipped over a puddle of water, and that had sent you flying down the small flight of stairs right outside the taekwondo dojang, resulting in two dislocated shoulders. San pressed his lips firmly into a tight line to stop the corners of them from quirking up. On one hand, he does feel really bad, but if he said you didn't look ridiculously hilarious right now, he'd be lying. "I wonder who was on the verge of tears earlier on."

"That's because you were in so much pain I felt so bad for having asked you over for a sparring session!" San defended himself, a small pout forming as he did so. "At least the body and shin guards saved you from breaking your bones."

Once the elevator reached your floor, San pressed on the button to hold them open while keeping a close eye on you as you slowly exited. You've never noticed how much arm or shoulder action happens when you walk, until now.

It was only when you stepped through your front door and noticed your roommate's house slippers still sitting on the bottom of the shoe rack do you remember that they were out on a business trip. Being alone at home right now wasn't an option for you when you couldn't do anything by yourself, but your roommate wouldn't be back till next week. You didn't want to burden any of your other friends so late in the night, you had no choice but to rely on San.

But things...are always a little trickier with him.

"I can only stay for tonight," San sighed as he placed his phone down on the coffee table. You don't know if it was a sigh of relief or one of frustration; he had pleaded over the phone for ten minutes. "But my manager said that they can send someone over to help you out for the next few days."

"It's alright, I'll ask Jimin for help tomorrow. If they aren't available, I'll let you know, yea?" San nods, though rather reluctantly. He trusts that you'll be able to take care of yourself, except physically for now at least.

San holds you by the waist to support you as you got up from the couch, keeping an arm wrapped around it as he brought you to the bathroom. "Please tell me you have a bathtub."

"I insisted on having one, glad it's finally of actual use."

"Oh yeah."

As you soaked in the warm bath that San had ran for you, you couldn't help but think of everything that has been happening between the two of you. The lingering touches, the jokes with double meanings, the way he gazes at you so softly, and the sudden tension that fills up the atmosphere following all those. San hasn't put a title over what this relationship was, and you've been too afraid to take the lead even though you knew that friends don't act like that towards one another. You didn't want to pressure him, he already has a lot on his plate. But he ought to give you an answer soon if he's about to see you in your most vulnerable state, right?

There comes another knock on the door, the tenth one in the whole duration of your bath. "I was being serious when I said don't try to act tough and do everything alone." The knocking continued on non-stop until you replied.

"You're an impatient one, aren't you?" You joked. "I'm done, I need help getting out."

"Not impatient, just worried." You hear his back leave the door for a moment as he stood up from the floor. And as politely as he could be while intruding into your private space, San pushed open the toilet door gently and stepped in after informing you first. You couldn't stop the giggle from escaping your throat when you took sight of him, his eyes shut close in consideration that you might not want him seeing you naked.

"Oh, you're laughing? At me?" San asked in disbelief as he pulled his arms that were searching for the wall back and rested his hands on his hips, a playful smile growing on his face. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because you're cute," you cooed, much to his dismay.

"I'm not cute!" San argued, his eyes now open and glaring at you, still rather adorably. But before you could tease him any further, San practically stomped his way to the bathtub, leaning down to your eye level as his arms gripped onto the sides. "Don't mistake my manners for cuteness, I'm not." He said, almost with a growl, as he reached into the water and wrapped his strong arms around your torso, pulling you up so that you could stand. Taking pride in the way your eyes widened in surprise, San couldn't help but smirk before giving you a quick peck on your forehead. "You're cute."

Once he got you out of the bathtub, San tried his best to not look at your body as he dried you up with a towel while you stood there blankly, still at a complete loss for words. "You're so rude," you told San after finally able to process whatever just happened a minute ago. The boy merely raised his eyebrows, his lips pursed. "Taking advantage of my injuries to show off your strength when you know how I feel about it."

"Well, you're not stupid, you know how I feel about you. It's only normal I act cool a little," San replied nonchalantly but you could tell that he was too afraid to look you in the eye. "Come on, let's go get you dressed."

"Also, just thought that you should know...." San paused for a moment to make sure that you dried your feet properly on the mat before continuing. "I almost patted your bare ass earlier on." You can't even blame him. With how touchy he and his members are, you aren't even surprised that touching people's butt has become their second nature. But even then, he really didn't have to tell you.

"TMI dude."

San had been watching YouTube tutorials on how to put on shirts with a dislocated shoulder while waiting for you to wash up earlier on. You wouldn't have known either if he wasn't showing off all the knowledge that he had learnt less than half an hour ago by trying to convince you quite passionately, and with demonstrations, about why a dress shirt would be much easier to put on than a t-shirt, especially in your case.

"I will. I will wear dress shirts until my shoulders recover," you sighed heavily in defeat. "But just for tonight, can you help me with a t-shirt? I want to sleep comfortably even if it's just for tonight."

This time it was San's turn to sigh as he reached out to pinch your cheek. "I already told you that it will hurt."

"Make it not hurt then." You shook your head so that he would let go.

"Just sleep naked then," San mumbled under his breath but loud enough for you to hear, causing you to scowl at the boy. He catches your expression and sticks his tongue out at you. "Am I wrong?"

"T-shirt," you stated firmly, refusing to comply even when you knew San only had the best intentions for you in mind. You already don't think you could sleep with two injured shoulders, much less with your crush staying the night with you, and definitely even much lesser with an uncomfortable sleeping outfit. "Or I'll bite you." Those words becoming a reality became much more probable when his dimples makes an appearance once again, resembling the dent on a mochi when you press into it with a finger.

"I don't think that's a wise idea right now, maybe next time-" he gave you a gentle boop on the top of your nose with his finger-"now, your majesty, may I help you put on your gold thread shirt made from silk of the finest quality on so that both me and you can be spared from getting ourselves into a tricky situation?" If you could throw a punch at San right now, you would, but all you could do right now was to sit on the bed quietly and accept the teasing. And also whatever San was about to do to help you put on the shirt.

You wonder if it's too late to change your choice of clothing after San kneels down behind you on the bed, his chest and toned abdomen almost plastered onto your back as he reached over your shoulders to grab your forearms. "I need you to put your arms a little closer together, we'll have to try to get both through the sleeves together," he explained clearly and waited for your nod before he moved your arms as cautiously as he could, his eyes studying every twitch of your facial expression to check for discomfort or pain. "Tell me if it hurts okay? Don't act tough, I keep telling you that but please, please don't act tough."

All you could manage was a soft "mhm", your throat feeling too tight for proper words to come out of your mouth. You wonder if San, like how you could feel the warmth of his hands and body, could feel the heat radiating off your cheeks too. "I'm going to pull both sleeves up now, it may hurt a little," San warned, one hand coming up to pat your head affectionately before he gripped onto the sleeves again. Even with how gentle he was being, a wince still manages to escape from you, putting a pause on San's actions as he tilt his head to look at you. "I'm sorry, it will be over soon." You nodded, fully trusting him.

Though there were still a couple more times your shoulders hurt before the sleeves were fully through, the little apology he makes every time that happens comforts you, and also, makes your heart beats embarrassingly fast. Getting your head through the hole was a much easier feat and it didn't take long before your shirt was on.

San got off your bed to fetch his backpack and for a moment you thought that he was going to pull out the painkillers that you were prescribed with but instead, he took out two boxes of shoulder brace. "When did you even get that?" You asked, amused and touched at the same time. The shoulder slings the hospital had put you in was terribly uncomfortable and while the brace may not be way better, it was still better than the sling.

"When you were getting your x-ray done," San replied with a proud smile.

"Aw, I would give you a pat on your head if I could."

Upon hearing that, San practically shoved his pink hair into your face as he bent down. "You can kiss me on my head."

"I will bite you."

[clairecrive]

"Rock my world" - Sirius Black x reader

A/n: I was thinking of making this a series but idk, let me know what you think. The band in the picture, Maneskin, are my inspiration for the marauders' band music and aesthetic. Check them out cause they're really good. They're going to represent Italy at the next Eurovision contest.

Here's their Instagram and Spotify.

Tags: Muggle AU, so ofc no magic, no Hogwarts, Marauders in a rock band, no Peter but Regulus instead, jily

Warnings: none

Word count: 2.2K ish

Summary: When y/n finally agrees to check out this band that her best friend was always talking about, she's in for a pleasant surprise and one hell of a night.

It had all started in the cheesiest and most cliscé of ways, really. Y/n had made a bet which had made you go out of your comfort zone that one night and for your bravery, you were rewarded with the most amazing boyfriend ever. It sounds like a story out of a rom-com or a romance novel, doesn't it? Well, yeah, it felt like a main character moment but, unlike what we see in those stories, it wasn't always fun and games.

But let's start from the beginning, shall we?

Y/n's best friend Jules had been nagging her about this rock band who was apparently the new sensation of the year according to her, for the longest time. So, one Friday night, when Jules had informed her that that very band was playing in a bar not very far from her workplace, she agreed to go for drinks there.

Worst case scenario, she thought, the music will be terrible but at least I get to tease Jules about it.

Still clothed in the floral dress she had chosen this morning, but adding a few glittery touches and graphic eyeliner to make her look more nighty, y/n headed towards said bar where Jules was already waiting for her.

"Finally," she huffed when y/n rounded the corner and entered her field of vision. 

"Sorry, it was my turn to close tonight," y/n shot her an apologetic smile before hooking their arms.

They made their way inside looking for a place to sit. The bar was already crowded but not in an unusual way. Maybe it was the hour or the fact that it was a weeknight, y/n didn't know but felt grateful that it wasn't packed. She really wasn't a fan of crowded places.

They got their drinks and caught up as they usually would about their week. They were almost finished when the band walked up the stage and music started playing. Even before the first note, one look at their outfits made clear what kind of music they were going to play. 

They had an interesting aesthetic, y/n had to admit. They wore the same colour but each member had their own style. The band was made up of four guys, the bassist had long straight hair and he looked a lot like the singer who instead had curly hair, the drummer had short curly light brown hair and y/n couldn't see what he was wearing past a black vest while the guitarist had black hair that was all over the place and wore glasses. 

They had an androgynous aesthetic, each of them with beautiful makeup in tones of black and grey and the ones y/n could see clearly were wearing a sort of body. They looked stunning. Y/n had decided she liked them based on this alone. She had to admire anyone who had the guts to express themselves freely especially when it was in such an open and unapologetic way of going against gender norms.

After half an hour, the music stopped and after the singer wished everyone goodnight and they all climbed down. As she expected, they played rock music ranging from soft rock edging pop to hard rock that made her think a lot of ACDC. Y/n wasn't an expert in music but she had liked what she heard and wouldn't mind listening more from them. She was sure that she was going to catch some of their songs on the radio in the future. 

However, Jules picked up the conversation where they had left it before the concert and decided that it was the time where she'd complain about her recent love interest. Each of their weekly meetings had one of this moment. Unfortunately, it looked like Jules didn't have a lot of luck when it came to guys. And as it always would, she wondered if she was the problem asking y/n if the reason every one of her relationships failed because she was unlovable. As if.

"That's not true, I truly believe that you can learn to love anyone. Lest you get to know them, of course."

"Of course you'd say something like that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you truly believe that, then you're not going to say no to this." Jules wriggles her eyebrows suggestively and y/n knew that the night is either about to become very interesting or about to go very wrong.

"The expression on your face is telling me that I should definitely say no to what you're about to say."

"Oh c'mon, it's just an innocent dare. Nothing too crazy, I promise."

"Which is?"

"You see that guy leaning on the bar? Long black hair with the black leather jacket?" Y/n turned around indulging her friend and eventually spotted the guy she was talking about. She took her time to look at him until she realized something that made her whip around to face Jules again.

"You mean the singer of the band?" y/n asked incredulously.

"Isn't he handsome?" Jules smiled wide completely ignoring the look y/n was giving her already knowing what was going through her friends' mind. "I want you to go to him and ask him out."

"What?" 

"C'mon", Jules complained reaching out to y/n over the table, "didn't you say that it was possible to love anyone? Can't you see yourself loving him?"

"That's not the point," y/n exclaimed still not believing that her friend was suggesting something so outrageous. "Can you see him loving me?" Because that man over there had "heart breaker" spelt all over him. And okay, y/n had to admit that this was a rush judgment she was making and it wasn't exactly fair but there was no way that a guy like him could be interested in a girl like her.

And yes, we could stay here and discuss all the reasons why that statement is wrong but still, if she were to put herself out there -something that was not like her at all- she wasn't going to go over someone so out of reach for her. And that was that.

"Listen, do you remember that video you sent me the other day?" Jules squared her shoulders, now looking fully serious at y/n. Unfortunately, y/n did remember the video Jules was talking about. She would have never guessed it would come back and bit her in the ass otherwise she'd never sent it.

Sighing, y/n looked down at the drink in her hands and thought about it. The video basically encouraged the viewer to go up to what they believed was the most beautiful person in the room and tell them exactly that. It may sound a little silly but at the time y/n had appreciated the sentiment. Going out of one's comfort zone. Challenging yourself. Because, what was the worst that could happen? That person shotting you down? That didn't sound life-threatening. Now though, y/n wasn't so sure. 

"Worst case scenario, just tell him I'm calling you and head back here." Jules offered, almost as if she could tell exactly what her best friend was thinking.

Looking at her best friend, something snapped in her. Jules was right. What's the worst that could happen? She already knew that the guy was going to shoot her down. She was prepared. It was a dare, a silly thing that could give her a story to tell to her nephews one day. 

What the hell, y/n thought squaring her shoulders. 

"You know what?" she downed the rest of her drink and got up from her seat, "I'm doing it." Looking in the reflection of the tissue box on the table to check how she looked, she fixed her smudged lipstick and ruffed her hair before nodding solemnly at Jules and turned around.

As she made her way to the bar, she could hear Jules cheering on her fueling her sudden confidence. 

The man of the hour was there where she saw him last. Her steps faltered as she realized that she had no idea how to approach him. What was she going to say? Oh my god, she was totally going to make a fool of herself. If she was not going to die for his rejection, she sure is going to die of embarrassment. 

She was almost about to turn around and abort the mission when his eyes met hers.

Well, fuck. There was no way she was going to back down now.

She regained her confidence and smiled at him while closing the distance between them. She smiled at him. Who was she? Did someone drug her drink?

He smiled back at her, turning so that he'd be facing her once she reached him and she almost stopped to pinch herself to see if she was hallucinating or something.

"Hey," she said once she stood in front of him. Good, she thought, let's start with something simple.

"Hi," he smiled back at her.  

Okay, okay, it's going good, isn't it? He hasn't ignored me, that must mean something, right? Yes, that he wasn't a rude asshole was her sobering thought.

"So," y/n started trying to take to time while she figured what to say, "I saw a video the other day," was what she ended up with. 

The handsome stranger lifted his eyebrows in amusement and took a sip of his beer. Y/n took that as a "go on then".

"There was this woman that basically dared anyone watching to go up to the person who they thought was the most beautiful person in the room and tell them exactly that." Well, let's just get it out of the way, I guess, she thought. "So, here I am," she added as if it wasn't clear enough.

However, as she saw the man's smile widen, y/n suddenly realized how really screwed she was. This man was way out of her league.

"Well, now that I'm here, I should also mention that you've really good at what you do too." 

"Not to sound rude or anything," he spoke for the first time that evening and y/n had already decided that he had been the gods' favourite in another life before he opened his mouth but now? as he heard his low and raspy voice? she was sure he had been at least a demi-god, "did you lost a bet or something?" he asked, his grey eyes boring into hers like he was looking into her soul.  

Who was this guy? and why was she feeling like this? Get a grip, y/n, she scolded herself.

"Is it that obvious?" y/n's shoulders slouched as some of the tension left them, a nervous laugh leaving her mouth. 

"I saw you downing your drink like it was some kind of bravery potion before you came here," he explained with a light scroll of his shoulders. "Not that I mind though," he added with what should be an illegal smirk. Smug.

"Yeah, I'm sure you've heard it countless time only tonight." Let's joke on it, she thought, there's still a chance I can come clean out of this mess. 

He chuckled and, not leaving her eyes, he slipped a hand through his loose hair pushing it back. "I meant that if you hadn't come I would probably found an excuse to come up to you too." He leaned back onto the bar looking completely unbothered, not as if he had said something that made her feel on fire. 

"Looks like I've to thank your friend for my luck." Looking over your shoulder, he held one of his hands up and lightly waving at Jules, y/n figured.

"Yeah, let's not tell her that or I will never hear the end of it." Rolling her eyes, y/n also leaned on her arm resting on the bar next to him. Whether it was the fact that all the cards were on the table or that what he said meant that he had to somewhat like her, she felt more relaxed than a couple of minutes ago.

"Before I make this solemn oath, I think it would be appropriate to know your name, don't you think?"

"It's y/n," she held her hand up for him to shake. However, he had something else in mind since when he took hold of her hand he turned it and held it up to his lips to leave a soft kiss on it. Y/n  almost rolled her eyes at the gesture if it wasn't for his eyes. They didn't move from hers and she found that she didn't want to stop looking at him. Like she was in a trance. Yes, he was handsome, even more so up close, so of course he was nice to look at but that wasn't why. It's the way his eyes glimmered as they watched her, the gentleness with which he was holding her hand, the softness of his lips on her skin. What would they feel like on her lips, she wondered.

"I'm Sirius." 

And that's how it all started. A silly video sent almost automatically to her best friend and an outrageous bet made y/n's night definitely interesting. To her luck though, Sirius became a permanent presence and not a one-night sensation.

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Tagging: @seldomabsent