#the hyperfixation on this game eats me alive every second of every day. I love this game so much

[time-looper-moved]

Oh yeah I should post my art here too ermmm

[frogofalltime]

day 10

i woke up at 9am and got out of bed immediately. but then i just proceeded to procrastinate for hours and hours. i took my meds and ate breakfast, but then i just went on my phone for hours.

@etherealspacejelly had family visiting and after they had left we talked for a while. i was going to take a shower but i didn't have the energy or motivation to do it. also i felt very insane and like a caged animal. i didn't end up getting into the shower until around 4pm.

showering always is hard for me, and it causes a lot of dysphoria and sensory issues, and i just felt entirely Bad. i didn't want to get dressed but i was also cold and couldn't stand being aware of my body. i put some clothes on but i could feel everything against my skin too much and it was Not Good At All.

meanwhile robin was not doing okay either, which of course was very worrying. and i realised i was feeling really unwell too (dizzy, shaking, and my heart was beating too fast). i had not eaten since the morning and it was now almost 6pm.

i worked up the energy to move, then i did my prayers and went to the kitchen to eat some of the curry and rice i made yesterday.

i read a book for a while and then went on my phone. i got stuck huperfocusing on an instagram page that posts images and obituaries of palestinian martyrs, and every post broke my heart into even smaller shards. i couldn't stop thinking about how many humans have been brutally murdered, how many children and adults are suffering. i am so lucky to not live in a war zone and to be able to access medical care. imagine how different it would be if we had no functioning hospitals here like in gaza. and then i started worrying again thinking about all the people in the world and how everyone is someone's loved one and if i freaked out so much about robin going to the hospital on friday night how much worse it must be for all of these people and i just wanted to break down sobbing.

i eventually tore myself away from my phone and went to the shared house where robin and our friends live with the intention to study for my upcoming exam. i didn't have the energy to tie my shoelaces for some reason and putting on extra layers to go outside felt like so much effort. it was really hard to get myself outside but i am glad i did. however, my rib pain was getting bad again, and i was extremely miserable and depressed, so when i arrived i just curled up on the sofa and tried not to cry.

my friend encouraged me to study even if it was just one lecture. so i finally did that but the wifi was not working so i couldn't do a second one, so i gave up for the night. the others left to go play a game together and i lay on the sofa in the dark with my hand pressed over my eyes because my head was aching and i felt terrible.

then robin came downstairs to wash his dishes and i was so glad that they are alive that i hugged them as tightly as possible and didn't want to let go. it is really silly because it wasn't even a huge thing, robin clearly was not dying, my brain just blows everything out of proportion and i can't bear it when someone i love is even in a little bit of pain, let alone having scary medical issues. one time my best friend was hospitalised and had to have an operation for appendicitis and i convinced myself she wouldn't wake up from the anaesthesia and i was inconsolable for days even though she woke up fine and definitely didn't die. idk why i'm like this.

we hung out for a while and it made me feel better gradually. robin told me about his latest hyperfixation (star trek) and we laughed so hard that we couldn't breathe. my stomach was rumbling a lot so robin encouraged me to eat something. i had a banana and some chocolate with hazelnuts. i felt a little better after that.

then robin went to bed but i didn't feel like walking home just yet, my ribs are still very painful and it hurts to move, so i just lay on the sofa. my heart was beating really fast again and i could hear the blood rushing loudly in my ears and it made me panic and feel overwhelmed. but then my friends finished their game and came down to join me and i calmed down. we watched half of a movie together and then one friend went to bed and the other one played super auto pets while i watched. it was very nice. i love listening to his voice.

finally he decided to go to bed and i went home. it hurt to walk but it was good to be outside. i love being out in the city in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep and it's just me and the stars and the moon and the rats and the random birds that sing to the street lamps thinking they're the sun.

i got home, and suddenly i had some random energy and started like. stim dancing in silence to a song i had stuck in my head ?? but it hurt too much so i stopped and got ready for bed instead, and now i am hopefully about to fall asleep.

idk how to describe today other than mostly wasting hours and hours of time and feeling utterly and completely insane. idk if it's just the stressful situation recently or if the meds are making my eating issues, depression, and anxiety worse. but i really don't feel like myself and i think robin is having this problem too. i hope it goes away as our bodies adjust.

[jluver]

lee heeseung — 18+

thinking about when you get needy while he’s gaming.

he’s been at it for hours now, bambi eyes focused on the flat screen in front of him, his attention completely directed to the 3d characters from whatever shooting game he’s hyperfixated at the moment.

you, on the other hand, have been needy and frustrated the whole day, pouting and signing dramatically, trying desperately to get any crumbs of his attention — and failing pathetically every single time.

and so, when the sun starts to go down and the moon is already high in the sky, you decide that is about time to start making some more offensive plays. after a little debating session with yourself, you decided that the best approach would be to be direct and beg for his attention —given how much he loves when you beg.

walking to him, you wrap your arms around his shoulders, moving his headset just slightly you whisper against his ear, “hee, i need you so bad..” voice whiny, drunk in lust and desperation.

heeseung, however, didn’t seem even a bit fazed by your words. “i’m busy,” is all he tells you.

“but you’ve been at it all day,” you cried, “please hee, i need you. i’m going insane, i need your cock, pleeease~”

he doesn’t even bother to look at you when he says, “if you need it so bad come and get it.”

and that’s how you got to your current state.

tears stream down your cheeks, trembling arms holding onto heeseung’s thighs for dear life, your grip so hard you were unintentionally marking him with your nails through his sweat pants, as you bounce up and down on his cock. it’s been probably five, maybe six minutes since you started riding him; your poor, sore thighs on the verge of giving up completely, the burn slowly getting worse by the second.

you just wanted to cum. you needed it.

and heeseung?! oh, that little shit..

he hasn’t even touched you.

heeseung just stayed there, manspreading on the couch, completely dressed besides from his pants and underwear being slightly pulled down to his mid-thighs, eyes still focused on the tv screen as he kept playing.

you just couldn’t take it anymore, so you stopped bouncing.

feeling even more needy and frustrated than when it all started, you pressed your back against his chest; hips lazily rocking back and forth against him.

“hee,” you sobbed, “please, please i need your help. i can’t cum without you, plea- ah!” your back arches when you feel heeseung place a harsh slap against your clit.

oh boy, seems like your pleads are finally being answered.

heeseung throws his controller away, the sound of plastic hitting against the cold floor scared you for a second, but you barely have time to process it, because the following second he’s pressing you against the couch; the sound of his hand slapping your ass filling the room.

“wasn’t that what you wanted? huh!?” slap “so deperate for cock,” slap “and when you finally get it, you can’t even get yourself off without having my attention all on you” slap “such an attention whore, can’t even go one minute without being the center of attention.” slap.

at this point you were already a sobbing mess. whining and whimpering with every word that came out of heeseung’s mouth, babbling more nonsense than ever. “yes- please hee, i’m- ah! i’m your slut, please help me cum, please i need you!”

that’s when heeseung finally loses it. thrusting into you like his life depended on it. he was rough. you felt him so deep inside you that you were sure he was gonna rip you in half with his cock. your face mushed against the couch. tears, sweat and drool mixing together, staining the velvety cushions under you.

that night, heeseung makes you cum more times than you were able to count.

you were so sore the next morning you barely could get out of bed; heeseung didn’t even touched his video game though, guilty eating him alive for being the reason why you found yourself in such situation, he spent the whole day with you in bed. giving you all his attention and love.

safe to say, you got exactly what you wanted.

[meganwasbored]

The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 4 Episodes 1 and 2

ok so i read ttm and dear callum (and cried over both of them but that’s not important) and by my understanding that’s the only thing i had to read to understand what’s happening so i think i’m good

Episode 1

-“rebirthday�� oh this is gonna hurt

-if dark magic eventually makes your hair turn white then why isn’t viren’s hair also white also he’s old

-bruh what is this sparkly place and why did it turn viren into a game piece

-just callum being in the same room with the mirror is making me uncomfortable

-relieved to know that callum is still just as much of a dork as he used to be

-NEW SPELL IN THE FIRST THREE MINUTES

-just thinking about all the new spells were gonna be seeing makes me so excited

-soren is also exactly the same

-crow master finally getting the appreciation he deserves

-callum being excited about his amazon package, he is all of us

-LOOK AT HIM

-ezran literally arranged bait his own dramatic entrance

-WHY IS THIS BAKER SO IMPORTANT HES A BAKER WHY IS HE HERE AND WHY DOES HE GET AN OFFICIAL TITLE

-RAYLA would’ve thought the dragon queen joke was funny

-callum literally wasn’t even out of the room yet soren i know you’re smarter than this

-soren this isn’t 2016

-LITERALLY EVERY BAD THING EVER IS YOUR FAULT VIREN LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO YOUR DAUGHTER

-it probably would’ve been smart for janai to mention to amaya that flame ribbons are used in sunfire elf dances at some point before this so her girlfriend doesn’t think she’s getting attacked with fire whips

-callum standing there waiting for soren in this specific spot implies that soren does lunges on this same route every day

-CALLUM IS THE SAME HEIGHT AS SOREN NOW LOOK AT HOW MY BOY HAS GROWN

-just imagine being one of those dancers i would be so confused

-i couldn’t care less about viren’s life i just care about claudia’s feelings

-corvus knows all he has to do is mention callum’s latest hyperfixation and it’ll buy them hours to think of a story

-soren acting like he didn’t know callum could fly

-amaya attacking the proposal dancers and callum almost zapping everyone at his surprise party, like aunt like nephew

-imagine waking up to find out you’ve been dead for two years and in order to stay not dead you have to free a magical being from his ancient prison and you have less than 30 days to do it and then your daughter brings out her boyfriend who’s an elf (and you were trying to kill all elves last time you were alive)

-do you ever see a sad scene coming and you just have to pause it and prepare yourself for a second because the second i saw callum on that balcony i knew

-you can tell just from this thirty seconds that ezran has been callum’s therapist for to last two years

-🎶it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to🎵

Episode 2

-are they really expecting the staff to still be there?

-ezran literally never questions any of callum’s dorkiness he’s always just like “you do you big bro”

-ZYM HAS GROWN SO MUCH OMG

-also ibis going from “powerful sky mage” to “dragonsitter” is so funny to me like there are so many more important things for him to do but nope he’s here trying to convince the prince to eat his vegetables

-also i’m pretty sure i’ve said this before i’m gonna ask again, are the runes for the wing spell tattooed on ibis’s arms or does he just like regularly repaint them? or after you do the spell once are they just there permanently? and if that’s so does callum also have the runes on his arms? he has to in some way because he just did the wing spell last episode

-THATS WHAT IM SAYING

-can’t tell if viren is acting like this to terry because he is an elf or just because he’s his daughter’s boyfriend

-why did karim look at gren and amaya? does this dude really think amaya is cheating on his sister with her best friend? has he not heard of lesbians?

-i love him

-viren stop being so dramatic and just admit you’re out of shape

-at least he’s self aware

-woah this took a whole different path than i thought it would

-i thought karim was about to be homophobic but turns out he’s just racist

-we all know dark magic is wrong but claudia just looks so cool doing it i don’t know whether to scold her or applaud

-just to be clear viren accepting that he’s nothing but crap doesn’t make me hate him any less

-someone who knows sign language please translate these conversations i’m clueless over here

-HERE SHE ISSSSSS

[cherryozyi]

for the ask game, ✨🎥💕

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

At first it was for nostalgic purposes since I was rereading Squish Comics again and soon realized it had a show. So my curiosity drew me towards it

Now I stay because the characters are charming in their own way and that goes for side characters. They all have pretty neat personalities and just make the show enjoyable to watch.

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

That's a hard one since there is so many scenes that I like either finding it funny or pretty neat. An example of many is in Card Sharks where Planaria's detention cards backfires so much, that they made a trading business out of it and Squish just flexes how much cards he's gotten. I just found that funny and quite absurd how much he's gotten.

I also like the montage of Squish and Shirley hanging out in A Very Small and Salty Story since Squish starts to know her a little more and sees what's her life like from her POV and how she just rolls with it and isn't ashamed of being small.

I also liked the scenes in Escape from Detention where Pod and Peggy just try finding ways to help Squish get out of detention and overall I just love scenes with both Peggy and Pod.

I could just go all day pointing out my favorite scenes in Squish tbh lol.

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

My top favorite is Pod, second is Planaria and third is Shirley and I like them for all different reasons.

Pod is because I relate to him on a personal level and definitely more when I was younger. Especially his scientific facts stuff is something I did spewing out weird facts when I was young that relates to something or not.

Another thing is he's pretty nerdy and I had favorite characters in the past who are geniuses or smart like him (ex. Kowalski, Flint Lockwood, Sam Sparks, Sandy Cheeks, ect). Also he is just pretty great of a character overall and he's pretty fun, I like how even he has his flaws just as Squish and Peggy but he learns from it. Also he just acts what you'd normally expect from a kid. I've seen so many smarty kids in other shows who are all serious and no fun allowed which is boring (not saying it's terrible it's just my opinion) but Pod still wants to watch movies, eat cake, have a party, ect. Sure he has his special interest like that one documentary he wanted to watch in Pod Squared but he isn't a stick in the mud. Also his relationship with Peggy and Squish are genuinely great love the friendships between the three.

Principal Planaria is just a pretty good and silly character. Every time he gets peeved at something he just looks so done with it and his screaming is just funny and the VA just sounds he's having a good time voicing him. Also he just likes to secretly have fun or do his silly little pretend time in his office (kinda like in that one ep Out Of Memory where he pretend to be a knight lol). I just find it pretty neat detail for his character, and glad he isn't one dimensional strict guy. It's kinda a neat character aspect in a way if that makes sense lol

He is just pretty goofy and ngl it's funny that he gets injured alot which is pretty numerous times. Like dude, how is he still alive.

Shirley is just pretty cool and she's awesome. She's spunky and isn't afraid to throw hand at anyone who is threatening or teasing her. She's the type that doesn't care too much of what others say about her and she has a pretty strong confidence. It's something that I wish I had and could do. I kinda envy her for that/pos. She's just overall cool and I wish we had more scenes with her. She's just so full of personality and she is really great, also just like even tho she seems tough and strong, she's a bit of a softie as shown rarely.

Random Pic for Filler

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

AIGHT Y’ALL I wasn’t tagged but I’m doing this anyways because f u c k  i t

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

Deadasss weird as fuck, my dude. Like...out of all the things I could’ve predicted happening in our lord’s year 2021, it definitely was NOT getting hyperfixated on a hammy gay ship with a punk and a nerd from a goddamn karate soap opera. And yet...here we are??? I will never understand hyperfixations, my guy. But I’ve met a lot of really cool people in this fandom, so I can’t really complain.

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

I have never seen a single Karate Kid movie in my entire life. When I was a kid, it looked kinda dumb so I never got into it XD But then I saw my roommate watching Cobra Kai on Youtube Red one day (he has every streaming service known to man) and I was hooked. And...here I am!

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:  

Literally EVERYONE except for Kreese, Yasmine, Kyler, and Tory, sorry stans

Okay but if we gotta pick, Johnny Lawrence is my Problematic Fave. Also I love my boy Daniel, he’s trying his best!!! And Amanda LaRusso, we stan a queen!!!

Among the kids, definitely Miguel, with Demetri as a close second. I also love Sam, Aisha, Moon, and Hawk (pre- and post-Bastardization Arc, anyways XD)!

Favorite ship:  

Take a look at my username and take a WILD FUCKING GUESS lmao Yes it’s Eli/Demetri because DUH, every interaction they have is so fucking gay and Eli fucking saved him!!! And came back to him!!! And betrayed the world’s most terrifying dojo with a WAR CRIMINAL SENSEI all for Demetri!!! And how Demetri was willing to forgive him for everything at the drop of a hat because he always had faith there was still good in his best friend??? That’s TRUE LOVE motherfuckers. Please let them kiss in Season 4. I will sell you all of my limbs. Sam/Miguel is a close second because they’re cute as shit and it’s just so lovely to see two people so unapologetically smitten with each other. They are in LOVE, and I will RIOT if they break up again!!! Keep Sam and Miguel together 2k21!!!

Underrated character:

SAMANTHA LARUSSO!!! The amount of hate my girl gets for acting like a normal teenager and fucking up occasionally JUST like the rest of the cast makes me want to start punching things. She cares SO MUCH about her friends!!! And she loves the shit out of Miguel!!! She hasn’t always been the best friend but you know what??? Neither has Hawk, and we still forgave his ass!!! Also LET HER BE FEMININE but also kick utter ass, my god!!! Femininity should not be synonymous with being weak, y’all! ALSO DEMETRI, like yes, he likes to complain and occasionally run his mouth, but guess what else he likes to do??? Never give up on the love of his life his best friend Eli Moskowitz and refuse to lose faith in him no matter how much of a little shit he’s become, and I for one think that’s very badass of him. Also the way he takes care of Eli pre-Cobra Kai in his own snarky bastard way makes me absolutely Weak and needs more appreciation. Like the dude has charisma and COULD have probably made other friends and left Eli behind if he wanted, but did he??? No, he wants the weepy loser with the lip scar in the polo shirts and dorky sweaters and will protect him as much as his wimpy ass is able!!!

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  

Among the adults, Daniel/Amanda!!! Like maybe I just don’t watch that much tv, but it seems kinda rare to me to see a happily married hetero couple, and it’s just nice to see a married couple who genuinely love each other and where there’s not like...lingering resentment or some shit. I feel like this ship gets overshadowed by Lawrusso a lot (which like--okay, fair!!! Daniel and Johnny do have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, and the gay undertones are undeniable, so I get it), and it makes me kinda sad. I do love Lawrusso, but I don’t like when Amanda has to get her heart broke for it to happen, you feel? Among the kids, honestly YasMoon. Like I really love the idea of Yasmine trying to better herself because of Moon’s influence on her and because Moon like...inspires her to be a better person, I guess? With their pretty strong friendship, it just makes more sense to me for Yasmine to get a redemption arc through Moon than through Demetri. ALSO girls DO often pull the whole “mean girl” shtick to cover up being closeted lesbians, and Moon IS canonically bi, so it could work!!! I just think this one could be a really interesting Friends to Lovers take, and could make a really nice coming-out arc for Yas. And MoonPiper too, honestly!!! Like they only got 5 seconds of screentime so I understand WHY it’s underrated, but I still love what we DID get and loved that there was a canon gay ship (even if only for 1 scene lmao). I’m really excited to potentially see more of them in Season 4!!! Please, I’m begging!!!

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the Leg because it will always be deeply hilarious to me how Demetri took note of the first move Eli ever used on him and spent presumably weeks perfecting it OUT OF SPITE just to get him back with it at the soccer game MONTHS later. Just goes to show how OBSESSED Demetri is with Eli and their little karate rivalry which is just NOT straight, I’m sorry

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

There’s something so funny about this pretentious little fuck walking around in fancy suits once he becomes a #SuccessfulBusinessman, and still occasionally trying to do karate in a full-ass suit (take THAT, Tom Cole’s boba!!!) I’m also a big fan of how he looks in his gi with his little headband. Still killing that look as a 40-50-something!!!

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

Tbh I have still never seen a single Karate Kid movie (they took them off of Netflix, RIP), so...I don’t really care if they bring anyone else back??? I’m invested in the characters we already have in the show, I don’t need some rando from the movies to make a cameo to have a good time XD The only character I really wanted them to bring back was Ali, and they already did, so like...I’m good??? That’s all I really needed, I can die in peace now XD

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Basically any fluffy Elimetri scene, but 5 in particular: ~Miguel first meeting Eli and Demetri at the lunch table, and Eli looking at Demetri like he hung every goddamn star in the sky ~Demetri going off at a terrifying, “unhinged” karate sensei on the first day of Cobra Kai because he made fun of Eli’s lip and Demetri is not about that shit ~ELI STEALING DEMETRI’S NACHO AND SMIRKING AT HIM, LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR PLEASE BE A LITTLE LESS HOMOSEXUAL IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ~Eli yanking Demetri onstage during Valley Fest to hold a board, and Demetri being visibly like...extremely turned on when Eli breaks said board ~ELI SAVING DEMETRI DURING THE CHRISTMAS FIGHT, ELI APOLOGIZING, DEMETRI AND ELI KICKING COBRA ASS TOGETHER AKSBDCUWYVCBU

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

I hope not! He’s kind of a funny meme character to pop up now and again but I don’t think he deserves a serious plotline when there are so many more interesting characters to follow.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

Miyagi-Do because Cobra Kai would eat me alive. Also I’d probably straight up get stuck and die in that cement mixer, if I even made it that far XD Besides, being salty that your friend who you have a crush on likes martial arts better than you and starting martial arts to impress them but also being too lazy to join anything TOO intense is a Big Mood and I am certainly not speaking from personal experience here, no sirree

What’s your training montage song?

"Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna for a weight-training and bicep-flexing montage, “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons for a more intense punching-and-kicking-shit montage. I don’t know why this is, I just feel it in my heart.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

*Briefly panics because I don’t actually watch that much TV and most of the stuff I do watch is fantasy/sci fi shit that absolutely would not work for a CK crossover*

Hmmmm okay but ACTUALLY

You know what would be fucking funny as hell would be an It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossover. Allow me to elaborate: ~The Gang goes to LA on vacation during the height of the Karate Dojo Wars. They literally can get barely anything done without all these goddamn karate-fighting teenagers getting in the way. ~They are all very annoyed by this. Even the most obscure of tourist attractions is eventually intercepted by karate fights. ~Mac tries to join Cobra Kai because he sees all this karate fighting on, and wants to unquestionably prove both his badassery and masculinity. Both Johnny and Kreese are like “Wtf are you doing here? Aren’t you like 30?” ~Mac gets a planet-sized crush on Johnny after all of 5 minutes and endlessly gushes to the gang about him. The gang mercilessly roast him about this and about how much of a pathetic loser with his life together in no way whatsoever Johnny sounds like. They proceed to have exactly 0 self awareness about this. ~The Waitress is in town visiting family or something, and Charlie is stalking her, as per usual. However, every time he’s about to go up and talk to her, a pack of battling Miyagi-Dos and Cobra Kais throwing punches and kicks everywhere blocks his path. One times, Mac is among one of these packs and Charlie is like “???? He didn’t get kicked out of that teen karate dojo yet???” ~Seeing how much the Kids These Days seem to like fighting, Charlie drops by a local high school to try and sell Fight Milk to the kids doing karate. Only Kyler and Brucks buy into it, and subsequently get the entire West Valley High wrestling team sick. Charlie is inevitably arrested, as Counselor Blatt thinks he’s selling the kids drugs. ~Dennis makes a plan to have sex with every hot chick he can in Los Angeles. He meets Ali on a dating app post-divorce, and inevitably tries to bang her. It doesn’t work. ~Frank crashes the rental car, and inevitably the gang ends up at one of Daniel’s dealerships. Dee quickly takes a liking to Daniel and is like “Watch, assholes--Imma homewreck this guy’s marriage.” She starts frequenting the dealerships to attempt to flirt with Daniel, until one day she walks in on him having sex with Johnny in a back room and she’s like “Is that the guy from Mac’s goddamn dojo?!?!” ~Dennis, of course, tries to sleep with Amanda. Amanda is not having it, and rebukes him in the most snarky, Amanda-esque way possible. Dennis is just like “Oh not AGAIN--the women in this goddamn diva city have too high of standards!” ~Later on, the gang is at the beach and Dennis spots the blonde lady he went out on an ill-fate date with, and decides to give it another shot--that is, until he sees her go up and kiss another woman and he’s like “IS THAT THE LADY FROM THE CAR DEALERSHIP??? STUPID-KARATE-KICK-COMMERCIAL’S WIFE?!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” ~Dee complains to Dennis about her lack of luck getting laid, and Dennis is just like “Oh come ON, is everyone in Los Angeles gay???” Smash cut to Hawk and Demetri having sex, Moon and Piper making out, Bert and Nate holding hands, Chris and Mitch doing oral, and Amanda, Ali, and Carmen having a threesome. ~Frank tries to scam Kreese into buying cheaply-made karate equipment for his dojo. The gang ends up having to leave LA because Kreese is quite literally plotting all of their murders.

For tagging, uuuuhhhhhh @jackonthelongwalk @soe-leo @max-eagle-fang @cc-tinslebee @backawayfromthegay @asphodel-storm do the thing, if y’all haven’t yet!

[forestwater87]

201X in Review: A journey of cringe and regrets

Realizing 2020 is really close and wanted to look back at the second (full) decade I’ve actually been alive for. I feel like either a huge amount of stuff has happened, or basically nothing’s happened, but there’s no middle ground.

2010: 

Cringy 2010 photo: High school prom (in middle, dark green dress and...a face)

Junior in high school. 

Had my first-ever Real Boyfriend(TM). (Pictured in above cringy photo.)

Had just ended an extremely toxic 12-year relationship and was still figuring out how to have friends. 

Chemistry fucking SUUUUUCKED and I don’t miss it.

Had a super intense love for Megamind. I saw it minimum of 4 times in theaters and had a major crush on that blue lil nerd. (Began a personal grudge against both Tangled and Despicable Me for taking away its deserved spotlight, a resentment I have not yet gotten past 10 years later.)

Most regrettable 2010 memory: Getting way too intense about a new boyfriend and lowkey abandoning my friends. Not cool.

Most awesome 2010 memory: I have friends from back then I still love and keep in touch with (despite my abandoning them for a bit there). That’s pretty dang awesome.

2011: 

Cringy 2011 photo: High school graduation with one of the most beautiful women in existence. (We’re still friends, and she’s still gorgeous.)

Graduated high school! (Gym fucking SUUUUUCKED and I don’t miss it.) 

Fell in love with the college that was supposed to be a “safety school” and didn’t apply anywhere else, which means I can brag about having been accepted into 100% of the colleges I applied to. 

Started at Ithaca College -- don’t say “it’s gorges,” it gets so old so fast -- and had a miserable first semester and an incredible second. 

Started getting . . . uncomfortably involved in religious groups. (I mean, I’d been doing that since I was a kid, but it got kicked up to 11 in college.)

Most regrettable 2011 memory: Dressed as a “g***y” for Halloween. Fucking yikes.

Most awesome 2011 memory: Figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.

2012: 

Cringy 2012 photo: Modeling first successfully completed knitting project. With bamboo needles because Ithaca is a hippie paradise.

Learned how to knit, entirely out of boredom in long lectures.

Technically started my tumblr experience, though it was only for a few months while I worked through some Shit by being in love with Loki from the Avengers (and THiddleston in general). Stayed on here just long enough to discover Achievement Hunter and Rooster Teeth, and never went back.

Broke up with first-ever Real Boyfriend(TM) and handled it so well I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder.

Got very deep in a religious group at IC, which was . . . not very healthy and could perhaps not inaccurately be described as “cultlike.” (I owe a major apology to everyone who knew me back then; I was very much a major bitch.)

Despite the previous two bullet points, this was the best year of my life up until that point. I lived next door to my two best friends in college, loved my major, and pretty much was confident that I had everything figured out.

Most regrettable 2012 memory: Writing a fan letter to Tom Hiddleston, which included a photo of me and my phone number. I was convinced my charm and wit would totally make him fall in love with me.

Most awesome 2012 memory: Pretty sure this is the year my love affair with RiffTrax began, too. I had a posse and we’d go see live shows together.

2013-2014:

Cringy 2013 photo: A blanket that I made and sent to Jennamarlbes for her dogs, because it was too small for people. Pretty sure it showed up in a video at one point.

Cringy 2014 photo: My awesome college roommates and I dressed up to give out candy to people’s dorms on Halloween. Reverse trick-or-treating: very fun, always recommended.

HA. So much for having anything figured out.

I don’t actually remember much of this period in my life, because I was navel-deep in a major religious crisis that would continue until . . . a couple months ago, basically? There was a lot of freaking out and trying to reconcile culty fundamentalism with the freewheeling pinko that lived deep inside and was trying to break free.

Lots of therapy, though. And med adjustments. Eventually figured out something that worked. Free campus counseling was the bomb though.

I do remember living in an apartment and cooking for myself for the first time, and also playing a lot of tabletop games with my roommates. (Also drinking. Lots of drinking.)

Oh shit, was this when I started that Drunk Librarian blog? I was trying really hard to be The Nostalgia Critic for books (ew), but I remember having a lot of fun with that. That was when my lifelong vendetta against John Green began.

Most regrettable 2013-2014 memory: Did I mention that the blanket I sent to Jenna included a letter? Did I mention that letter included some bible verses I thought she would appreciate????

Most awesome 2013-14 memory: Started a knitting club. It was just like 4 people hanging out and not knitting.

2015:

Cringy 2015 photo: Me being emaciated, makeup-smeared, and proudly showing off a collarbone piercing. That piercing has since rejected, but was in fact cute af.

Graduated college! Summa cum laude, bitches. (And an unfinished minor because I didn’t feel like taking the one (1) class I needed to graduate.)

Started library school and moved back home with parents. That was . . . an adjustment.

Changed library school “majors” halfway through my first year, after a lot of soul searching and panic attacks.

Had a short but catastrophic relationship with a man 9 years older than me (who was my pastor. Awkward). Religious crisis continued.

Got really skinny and hot because I was too miserable to eat. Dyed my hair red for the first time and looked basically like Ariel.

Discovered Party Hard and got really good at killing people.

Remembered how much I fucking love my parents’ dog:

Most regrettable 2015 memory: Being that person who “thought I could change him.”

Most awesome 2015 memory: Did you see how cute that dog is? His name is Oscar, after Oscar the Grouch.

2016:

Cringy 2016 photo: I had this huge thing for 1950s dresses for a while, complete with petticoats.

Grad school continued.

Religious crisis continued.

Therapy happens to deal with Things, is quickly dropped due to money and lack of shrink-chemistry.

Discovered a dumb little web cartoon with a teensy fanbase and no love for my favorite ship. Began work on a fanfic to correct this.

Finished a long-form fanfic for the first time in my entire life.

Virtually abandoned every other fandom to hyperfixate on this for the rest of my life.

Got super political, then super depressed. Quit Facebook because I realized I hate everyone I’m FB friends with.

Discovered Stardew Valley and never got anything done ever again.

Found Tumblr again (needed it to keep in touch with my first-ever beta reader, @raenbowsofficial) and turned into fandom and politics trash.

Most regrettable 2016 memory: Man, was I cocky about that Hillary Clinton winning the election. Oops.

Most awesome 2016 memory: I mean, CAMP CAMP. Obviously.

2017: 

Cringy 2017 photo: My first day of work as a very bisexual-in-denial librarian.

Finished grad school and became a certified librarian (in NYS anyway)!

Got a job at a local college, including my own office!

Shaved half my head!

Moved into my own apartment and adopted a cat, fulfilling a goal over 7 years in the making!

Became friends with two of the most important people I’ve ever met. Visited one of them on a semi-impromptu 9-hour drive to Virginia and met IRL for the first time. First ever all-night solo trip, one of the best days of my life.

This might’ve been the year I got the VFD eye tattooed on my ankle, though I can’t swear to that.

Was part of my first long-form tabletop RPG with friends from college (and friends-of-friends). Was very emotional and also quite gay.

Rediscovered Megamind thanks to excellent fanfiction. That shit is still great.

Currently the best year I’ve ever had. 

Most regrettable 2017 memory: I should’ve attended my graduation from library school instead of deciding it didn’t matter. It mattered a lot.

Most awesome 2017 memory: Seeing the-artist-formerly-known-as-ciphernetics in person.

2018:

Cringy 2018 photo: Um, apparently we don’t get one, because there’s an image limit to these posts. Lame.

Was laid off and took 6 months to find another full-time job. Spent most of that time depression-napping.

Said full-time job lasted 4 months before I ran like my shoes were on fire, because it was morally . . . suspicious and left me borderline suicidal.

Got very fat because I was too miserable to stop eating.

Had to cut my hair so I would look “professional.” Looked like my ex-boyfriend. My mom said I “looked like a Trump supporter.” To-date the meanest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

Moved back in with my parents due to not-having-job-ness (got to bring the cat, though).

Lost parents’ health insurance and had to pay for my own. Discovered health insurance is ridiculously expensive.

Became super left-leaning thanks to the power of Tumblr and Youtube (and possibly that super expensive health insurance thing). 

Writing came to a virtual standstill, though I managed to organize and actually finish participating in all of Gwenvid Week (for the first time).

Two weeks after quitting the job from hell and three weeks after moving back in with the parents, I was offered my old position back. Accepted. Was once again a college librarian.

Most regrettable 2018 memory: Knowing I didn’t want the nightmare job and accepting it anyway. Might’ve been the only choice, but it caused a lot of unhappiness.

Most awesome 2018 memory: The day I was laid off, I hopped on a plane and went to fucking Disney World. Because why not?

2019:

Started work again. Finally (mostly) stopped having panic attacks about being fired/laid off out of the middle of nowhere around 8 months into new job.

Fewer paper cuts than expected.

Accidentally became associated with dinosaurs at work, despite not having any sort of special affinity for dinosaurs.

Did develop a deep and abiding affinity for octopus. Also elephants.

Took cat to doctor. Cat didn’t enjoy doctor. Cat is now 8 lbs. and 14 oz. She is big girl.

Rediscovered the joy of reading again. Newly discovered that mysteries actually can be pretty awesome, and read barely anything else all year. (Personal recommendations: The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton and Waisted by Randy Susan Meyers.)

So. Many. Youtube. Video. Essays.

Discovered Stardew Valley mods and eventually broke 3k hours of playtime. 

Napped frequently. Panicked less frequently. It’s a step in the right direction.

Most regrettable 2019 memory: This post sure is long and over-share-y, isn’t it? Didn’t even include a cut so you could more easily scroll past my face. Inconsiderate, is what that is.

Most awesome 2019 memory: This one is pretty good. Right now.

2020: 

??? 

Profit.