#the house doesnt STINK anymore

[foxlightnights]

NEW FLOORS

[nervousmonolith]

dot -> •

[bulbabutt]

stupid shit ruby would do: if a cardboard box was anywhere within his reach and he was able to open it he would piss in it. like he would be so fast about it. now theres an open cardboard box on my kitchen table and im crying cuz i dont have to worry about that anymore. left a cup of milk out? he's not here to lick out the excess when you're not looking. loose hairband lying on the counter? hes not here to find it. my counters arent sat on, the litter box doesnt smell, and im sad. im sad that hes not here to forcibly sit on my lap and crush my bones, that it doesnt take every ounce of strength to sit up from the couch. im not worried when the front door opens that he's gonna get too curious. hes not getting shut in rooms he shouldnt. im not tripping over the stairs trying to avoid stepping on him. i dont have to break up cat fights on my lap. god i miss cat fights on my lap. id never let him sleep in my room because he'd find something to break, or something to knock over. he'd push me out of my twin bed so i couldnt let him in. i would sleep on the floor and give him the whole bed if i could right now. id risk him knocking anything over. he literally tried to sit on my ps5, and those things arent even boxes so you know that didnt work. his dumbass thought he could jump on top of my flatscreen tv, its literally half a cm thick so he got stuck half way, from the front you just saw his fat butt hanging over the top, he couldnt grip anything or move himself at all. he was stuck for literally 1 second before i picked him up it was so funny and stupid. he knew how to be annoying to get what he wanted, just such a cliche cat. had to put his bowl away from my other cats so he wouldnt get distracted and decide to eat her food. only need one bowl now and theres more leftovers every time. i couldnt make popcorn or grab a bag of shredded cheese without him begging for a piece. i miss being bothered. i miss finding him standing upright while he took a piss in the litter box. literally two paws on the wall, one foot in the box one on the side, you'd turn the light on and he'd be standing to piss and he'd look back at you like "do you mind?" he used to lick the inside of the bathtub faucet. youd be on the toilet and look over and he'd be in the tub tonguing it. he'd just started in our new house wiping his paws on the shower curtain super fucking loudly, i think the thick plastic confused him. god that was loud. he was so annoying on purpose and i loved it. everyone loved it. wake you up at 5am feed me feed me if you didnt get up in time it was ok well now im attacking this pen. ok now im attacking this cup. gonna knock the mouse off your desk.

i wanna be woken up at stupid hours. i want my tv watching to be annoying. i want the litter to stink as soon as i clean it. its fucking bullshit.

[inkybinkyboink]

urinetown stoner headcanons

it's less than a month to the show and im going fucking nuts. i drove two and a half hours today on a whim. to pick up a toilet seat that my parents didn't need anymore for props. headcanons below the cut >:)

bobby: like i said, he's definitely eaten half a pan of brownies thinking they were normal. he spent an hour trying to scrub a stain off of the side of the amenity until he was told it was spray paint. then he walked to hope's place and started crying about stray cats and how he wanted to adopt them all. he slept for thirteen hours and refuses to admit the incident ever happened.

penny: made the pan of brownies. she does edibles sometimes to destress and decompress and can you blame her? penny on weed becomes the most anarchic, careless person in the best way possible. go piss for free. she doesnt give two flying fucks. the world sucks. commit crimes. just do it. see you in urinetown. bobby once asked her if he could have a raise while she was baked and she said yes and regrets it every single day.

lockstock: listen, ok. i have my heart set on the idea that lockstock is fully aware that his career and position in society is ultimately more of a detriment than it is an aid. i think that knowing this bugs him (arguably). that being said, i think he does smoke, if not for pain management then to fucking forget about how awful everything is. i think the people he's killed weigh on his conscious and smoking a fat j turns that off for a little while. that man will lay on the couch with a bowl of pretzels and watch whatever's on tv until he falls asleep.

barrel: the opposite of lockstock. he's convinced he's helping and maintaining order in society. he likes abiding by the rules. so when he bums a cigarette off of lockstock and it turns out to be a blunt, he immediately gets so paranoid. lockstock has to calm him down because barrel is being SO loud and bro we are going to get caught. like 30 seconds after he calms down and eats something, he passes the fuck out on the couch bc its some strong ass ptsd indica. he very begrudgingly acknowledges that it did make him feel better and that he did sleep well. now, sometimes, after a bad day, him and lockstock share a joint.

cladwell: bro smoked so much pot before the stink years but then he rose to power and imposed laws that made it illegal and thinks he's The Shit for doing it. everyone's fucking pissed he did.

hope: little becky offered her a very special tasting gummy bear once and it was some mad sativa. hope did not shut up. for three hours. all she talked about was how she missed bobby. and how spaghetti was so good. then someone put on cartoons and she was absorbed like an ipad kid on an 8 hour flight.

fipp: would not do weed now but has done it in the past. nightmare blunt rotation. he just talks about politics. and not the good kind. it's terrifying. get that man away from me.

mcqueen: same as fipp but he gets like. scared. i think mcqueen knows deep down that what he's doing is wrong, but he constantly ignores it, so when he's high all that bubbles to the surface and he gets really wishy-washy about what he's saying. honestly i think it would be really funny to watch.

little becky two shoes: rolls the craziest blunts. the tesseract joint isn't beyond her skills. got pissed when she found out she was pregananate because she couldnt smoke weed anymore bc she wants her kid to be healthy. little becky knows where to get the good shit. she's dealing like fucking jesse pinkman from breaking bad.

hotblades harry: same boat as becky minus the pregnant part. they have competitions for who can roll the best joint like it's a cup stacking contest. people bet money. that man has smoked more weed than you ever will. his house is almost constantly hotboxed. hotblades harry more like hotboxed harry.

bonus:

old man strong has taken some mad edibles for hip pain.

little sally is a child so shes not on this list but i will be damned if she doesnt constantly bug lockstock about the funny cigarette she saw him smoke once

after urinetown they still use the secret hideout but it's just for smoke sessions. it's just a blunt rotation. it's comfy now, they made it comfy. they added lights.

[azlovesem]

Fun movie. Hey most of thosebimmgeants they say omarecso dangerpus i saw them working today. I dont jnow what peoples problems with immigrants are. Sure you need to get control of the border but thats not the major probkem. Everyones like my kand my job my house see this fuckn house its mine. If i get hot by a teuck i eont go to skeep in there tonite ill be dead they may as well say. Who the fuck do people think theyrectalking to? I told those immigrants you guys look way fuckn happier than i am in this stupid mother fucker. Fuck this house. My house my house my house. Fuck now ya gotta sleep there forever. That thing will poison you sittn around the house. Cozyn you up. I wanna go hang out at my foreign exotic gfs house. Or goneith ifiot girl to japan. No fuckn cryn about immigrsnts there. Watching shit eating crap st home id rather meet a cute immigrant. When no one cares. Fuck i wanna go hang out in some other country and get on their nerves. Ill be like i hate that stupid place i just came from now im here ill be happy here for a bit til i hate it here then go to i dont know. I can go live st Petes he ssid or in Greece in Csllsmstta and sparta i boild ho again. Fuck that. I aint hanging around stinking snd growing weed in an olive grove. Plus thise people on yhst farm are annoying and lazy. They wont halelp me glgrow tripstobe or msje oil. Pierres mom loves me she keeps telln me to go there and bring pierre but he doesnt like going anymore. He hstes goin far from home. The house is eating him. Ibeanna get my littke dpot yhrn hamf our at my gfs house. Yiud be durprised eho i can dare i went out with a Big CEO. She kept saying i dont care of a guy is this that he just has to work. Dhecwas hot from Hong Kong originally. Shecwanted a house boy. And that wasnt me. At the time ehere is she now for fuvks dake ehen i really need her. Lol. Noooo. I want one particular snd now i may as well go back yo a life of crime full time. But i cant. Brcause if her. No dhe didnt ruin snything. Shes amazing bit everyone loves her slready, well im feeling snother crime spree now ill move back over to parkdale where i belong. No my wife is fine. I dont know ehy the hell shes still here but she is. I thought if get outnif thenhidpitsl and dhed be gone but now. Cops st the foir like 90 yhen no. I told her yo. Then not yo. Then she did the same. Have fun with ur fuckn marriage kids. Id only ever marry my imaginary fantasy gf. Only if dhe asked me would i ever fo this to mysekf again. My advice is avoid marriage.ha ga ya ga idiotMs,.

JURASSIC PARK (1993) Dir. Steven Spielberg

[awesamcozy]

x you get this makes it worse right? That if George was having /srs mental issues leading to bad hygiene then Dream going on a stream and airing that out as a joke when George isn't there to say anything is actually bad?

To correct u a little: ALL of georges friends did thus.

+ Idk my friends tell me i stink in my depressive lows and it makes me not want to stink anymore so i go shower. Also i wasnt trying to speculate like that really i was just saying like why woukd he feel the need to shower if he isnt leaving his house. But he doesnt leave his house for weeks bc he has nothing to do. So he says as much and gets msde fun of for it its pretty simple

[familyofpaladins]

Family: *keeps making teasing or outright condescending remarks about how I dont have a job yet and just lay about the house or about how my room is a mess or how I "dont take hints" when they make a comment about soemthing that should be done and somehow expect me to know that they specifically want me to do it or how I did something wrong with the simple task I was given, like tonight where I forgot to add salt and pepper to the supper I cooked*

Me: *gets fed up with all the comments that have happened over the last couple weeks, but especially tonight* *quietly leaves the room, because the comments arent a big enough deal to throw a fit over, especially since my brother and his fiancee were over, but I also dont want to hear it anymore*

Later

Mom, yelling upstairs to my room: [fiancee] is gone you can come back now

Me, to myself: she's not the reason I left.... *stays in room*

later

Mom, texting me: you can come back. [fiancee] left, so they cant gang up on you

me: *stays in room a little while longer*

Me: *finally goes back downstairs*

Dad: I didnt mean that supper tasted bad! I didnt even notice anything different

Sister (who made the biggest stink about me forgetting the salt and pepper): All I said was that it tasted different !

Me, in my head: You guys think I left just because of your stupid teasing over supper and not all the rest of the degrading comments?????

......

And like. They're not WRONG necessarily about me needing to find a job and that my room needs cleaned. I know I need to find a job. I know I do. And I know I've been procrastinating on it. I know I know I know. Suggesting jobs I'd hate or am unqualified for, doesnt help.

I KNOW my room is a mess. I Know it needs to be cleaned. I know I know I KNOW. Saying that you'll go up and clean it yourself Does Not Help!!! Dont touch my room! It's my stuff, it's my room, I'll decide when stuff will get thrown away and what will be kept, either for usefulness or sentiment.

I know I'm probably genuinely spending touch time on my phone and just sitting around. But I'm also reading (fanfic) and drawing!!! Im also getting to play a game that was never available to me when it was actually released!! These are Things I actually enjoy and make me happy for a little while!

I know theres important stuff I need to be doing. I know I'm a grown adult that should be doing more adult like things instead of just sitting around. I know I know I know.

Its just stressful stuff and my (undiagnosed) Executive Disfunction, says "Oh, that's stressful. Let's do this non stressful thing that will make us happy instead. Or we can sit and pull out our hair while we get literally nothing done"

I know I should just DO the Things, i know i NEED to do the Things!!! I know I know I know!!!!

But i cant for whatever stupid reason, and I dont need you always making a stupid comment about what a lazy person I'm being

I know

[musherum]

from the second i learned that i would have to move back here, my suicidal feelings have been through the fucking roof. from that second i started making serious fucking plans for the first time in years. i had amazon tabs for the width of rope i would need to hang myself open for months and months. its not just that its humiliating to live with my parents at this age. its not just the isolation, the degradation of having to share a living space with a racist old conspiracy theorist who constantly misgenders and deadnames me and stinks of mildew all the time. my parents, in every possible way, have given up. theyve stopped trying to make their lives better. to change anything, to make better choices, to believe that anything could be different for them or for anyone else. its in their dirty living conditions. its in their joyless food. its in my dad sitting on his ass until his jeans discolor the chair he's in, watching youtube videos all day, quitting every job he gets after a week. its in the way my mom doesnt even bother going to the doctor for serious symptoms anymore, doesnt bother taking the cats to the vet when theyre obviously sick, doesnt bother trying to get my father to work or even address his bad behavior - hell, its even in the way she doesnt bother to take the time to line dry her bras, just throws them in the drier and lets them warp. theyve completely succumbed to a profound helplessness. they dont care anymore. this whole house feels soaked in that feeling. i cant be a better person here, because everything they do and everything theyve built up around them communicates that its better not to even bother. that nothings going to change. that its all hopeless, why even try. may as well lay down and rot

[cloudstongue]

NONONOBONO ITS FINE um the thing is tho its not that she really took it away from me? i mean i used this laptop a lot but it wasnt mine…mine broke. the person didnt and still doesnt use it but yeah…its old and broken anyway. i used the school computer but uh obviously im not in school anymore i cant use that…i dont have any other computer except the old one at dads house with some EMBARRASSING OLD (…and new) stuff nd its hella slow. shes probably going to let me use the laptop or something the problem is i want to do the assignment while doing the reading bcuz my memory stinks. :(

and i mean, youre right. about time i learn something. too bad i learn most of the stuff thru the TINTERNET though../nm

could i dramatically cry on your shoulder maybe even sob bcuz of the loss youre abt to have,, /j

uhh why?

[wongiemei]

Roommate!Jeno

a/n: maybe i should just turn this blog into an nct dream one

okay

letsgetit!

first of all,

story time!

your uni is fucking expensive and it’s more expensive if you live in the grounds

so you being the wise human,

you went to get an apartment near the campus

it was great and all since roommate!jaemin was paying for his stuff

you were both living respectively until he had to leave

the dumbass didnt even bother to tell you

one morning you just woke up and found his note

‘hey bitch! figured you were too much of a rock to wake up but i moved out! the family wants me to go back home and tend the restaurant’

the whole day yesterday, you were working

bc,,, yknow

broke college life

and you just walked in half asleep towards your room and fell asleep

so you didnt really see or notice

but were you freaking out bc your roommate suddenly moved out?

ofc you were freaking out

not only was your roommate gone,

how were you going to find a new one?!

jaemin expected your phone call that afternoon and he endured through all your screaming

‘babe, i’m just going to be gone for a year-or two’

‘oR tWO?!’

‘hun, my dad’s injured and his back can only let him do so much. ma’s working too much and i dont have any siblings to help. i figured i could just hold off college until my parents are ready’

ugh, jaemin is such a family boy

‘but jaems! you couldnt have at least told me that yOu wERe mOvING OuT?! and! rent is due soon! i can’t pay for that myself!’

jaemin couldve easily told you to warn yoy

but he didn’t want to tell you bc he couldnt handle you sad and didnt want to upset you

however, now jaemin really understands how shitty that move was

‘tell you what. i’ll pay for this month and make a few phone calls and i’ll get you set up with a new roommate, deal?’

knowing how much of a social butterfly he was, you agreed

ofc you trusted jaemin but part of you feared that he might pair you up with a freak

but he’s not that mean, is he?

you can definitely see renjun doing that but not jaemin

so there you are,,

sitting on your couch alone

without jaemin, your apartment felt really empty

its been a few days since he moved and you were miserable

jaemin hasn’t even texted you about that potential roommate

just as you were about to call him,,

your doorbell rang

you froze and you looked at the time

it was nearing 11 at night and you don’t remember ordering delivery

see,,

if jaemin was here,

he would answer it for you since you would be too scared to do it

but you mustered up your courage and peeped through the peep hole

the man was dressed in all black with a black mask and a black cap with his hood over it with a black hoodie and black pants

ngl, you were terrified and trembling

he rang it again and you jumped

typing out a quick text to jaemin saying ‘hey bub, if i don’t text you in an hour, that means ive been kidnapped so call the police’

you grabbed a pan from the cupboard and gulped before you opened the door

thinking he would just walk forward and grab you, you closed your eyes and raised your pan over your head and swung

a shriek from in front of you made your eyes snap open and found the guy on the floor with a fetal position

you both just froze for like a phat minute

snapping back to reality, you held the pan in front of you

‘if youre going to kidnap me, i got a pan and im not afraid to hit you with it!’

you tried to sound intimidating but your voice was shaking so much

the guy stood up and he took off his hat and the mask to reveal a blonde haired kid

okay, so you were sHOokETh

damn! this boy is fine!

he gave you a shaky smile and held out his hand

‘hi! i’m lee jeno! you must be y/n? jaemin told me you had an opening for a roommate?’

now you noticed the two duffle bags at the side

the embaressment and the shame settled in slowly and you found yourself burning up

nodding, you motioned him to come in

jeno awkwardly walked in and was amazed at how big the layout was with the low rent

‘yea, its kinda hard to believe that we only pay that much. at first i thought there was a ghost in here and that’s why its so cheap’

you tried to make small conversation but laughed weirdly at jeno’s slightly terrified face

‘no! there really is not ghost here! ive lived here for a year and there hasnt been anything so please dont understand! please be my roommate!’

you begged and jeno thought you were weird

but jaemin was right, you were weirdly adorable in a way

so that’s how you and jeno became apartment buddies!

now onto the good stuff!

so, jeno is a vv clean guy

like he’s the type to just pick up a wrapper in the street and throw it in the garbage

so naturally, he likes to keep the apartment as tidy and neat as possible

but you being a mess you are,

you usually leave a lot of things everywhere

lets just say you have a short memory

‘oh? how did that get there?’

eventually, jeno gets sick of it and he confronts you with it

ofc you understand and you actually try to be better

since jeno is literally the most perfect roommate

maybe even better than jaemin

(but don’t tell him that)

jeno is the type to re-stock the pantry with snacks and the fridge with ice cream

since youre both college students, ramen is practically always available in the house 24/7

he also makes the coffee every morning since he works early and wakes up first

even though he doesn’t like the drink and prefers milk, he still notices how you survive off of coffee

babie likes to pick you up some iced americano while he gets a frappe

you on the other hand,,

you’re very surprised

when you got to bed after showing jeno around,

you messaged jaemin

ofc he was worried af and was blowing up your phone

‘WHAT?!’

‘bitch answer the damn phone!’

‘whatthe fuck is happening?!’

‘i need to know if you’re still alive!’

‘oh fuck i shouldnt have moved out’

smiling softly at how worried he was, you responded to him

‘you hoe, it hasnt been an hour yet so chillax. i’m alive, unfortunately, and i just met my new roommate. again, thanks for the heads-up. youre so bad at those. i literally thought he was a burgular or a kidnapper. but he seems chill and emo. just my type.’

but jeno is F A R from C H I L L

oh my goodness,,

hes a crackhead

theres this sound he makes when he’s confused and you couldnt figure out if its cute or weird or if he’s doing this on purpose or thats just how he is

you and him basically communicate with memes

sometimes, at the weird hours at night, he sends you a dumbass meme

you cant help but snort 

also, you promised to take jaemin out to dinner to repay him for the great roommate

‘hes literally one of the best people youll ever meet. it just so happen he needed a place to sleep. now you owe me’

hes a science major while you were a computer major

he basically brings home weird stuff to analyze and it just hella stinks

but hes considerate enough to actually put it outside

whenever he’s focused, he talks to himself or the thing he’s analyzing

‘okay mr. fishy. your scales are really big and its bigger than average’

its so cute

oof also!

jeno doesnt have a job yet he always makes rent on time with extra money to spare

he even sometimes buys you stuff saying, ‘they reminded me of you’

for your birthday, he bought you a pearl necklace that mustve costed thousands

at first, you thought he was a chaebol or smth

which you wouldve been vv jealous of bc youre a struggling college student who works at the coffee shop

but, you were answered when you caught him walking in half-dazed and half-asleep with cuts all over his face

it was like 2 in the morning and you were pulling an all-nighter for some project and wanted to get a glass of water

but here he is, hood up, lip busted, black eye, cheek cut

you shrieked and ushered him to sit on the dining chair

thinking he got mugged or something, you start drilling him questions

‘hun, if you were beat up, we need to call the police! this is illegal!’

but jeno chuckles and brushes the stray hairs out of your face as you tend to his lip

‘pls dont. if you do, ill be broke and i wont have money to pay rent then i cant be your roommate anymore’

cue confused y/n

‘wUT?’

‘if i dont make money, youll kick me out and youll have to find another roommate. i dont want you to go through that hassle again’

ofc you were flattered that even during this situation, hes still thinking about you

‘how is this making money?!’

‘i cant believe youre oblivious to so many things. i thought for sure youve caught on.’

more confusion

‘eXCUse mE, lEE JEno? since when have you started coming home with all these things in your face?’

you were worried that this wasnt the first time this happened

but if you think hard about it, thats why he always wears his mouth masks and he always has his blonde fringe down and sometimes wears sunglasses even though its cloudy outside

‘ohmygod lee jeno are you in a gang?!’

jeno was shocked that you came to that conclusion but laughed at how adorable you were rn

with your wide eyes and mouth open

‘nah, bro. i box. its the only way i can make easy money.’

‘but,,, why did you hide this from me? if you needed money i couldve helped you’

he looked at you skeptically

‘sis, you could barely afford that muffin the other day’

lee jeno now looked different from the jeno you met the first day

What you thought to be an innocent little squish was a fighter at night

‘yah, can-um-you need to take this off’

you mumbled while tugging on his sweatshirt

he nodded and slipped it off

he explained why he came late when he first moved

‘i had a late night match and yknow,, school and all, i barely had enough time to come'

as you dab the wound, you try to make small talk to distract yourself

 ‘so,, youve been boxing this whole time?’

you asked, trying not to get distracted to the way his tight shirt clung to him, showing his defined body

there were bruises up and down his arms and his knuckles were busted

‘yea. i have been since senior high. gotta make money, yknow?’

‘but jen, you can work in coffee shops or at local bookstores. its not worth seeing you busted up like this’

your lips trembled at the thought of him being beaten up too hard to the point he gets into a coma

jenos eyes widened at your wobbling lips and he softly cupped your face

‘hey, im okay and ill be fine. you dont have to worry about me. i usually win, anyways’

his confidence made you chuckle

‘i trust you, lee jeno. just make sure to make it home to me every night.’

‘i know you do and i will. always.”

ever since then,

youve become his little caretaker

youve informed jaemin of what hes been doing and he knew but didnt want you to judge him immediately

smh, jaemin really sucks at informing people

but jeno tries to help you keep up

he even sends you texts that hes fighting that night and your little ‘fighting!’ always makes him smile

his manager and friend, chenle, noticed that hes starting to smile more

chenle likes boxing and wants to be a part of it but doesnt want to be hurt

so,, what better to be the manager of his friend

‘yah, hyung. what’s got you giggly today?’

jeno pointed to the screen and giggled at the little good luck gif you sent

his eyes turned to crescents and chenle smirked

‘wah, you like her, don’t you?’

at the mention of ‘like’, his smile dropped and he shook his head

‘no. of course not. shes just a friend.’

chenle being chenle,,

he continues to prod

‘okay. so every night, you make it your priority to make sure you’re home by 2 in the morning for your friend’

smh, chenle youre so annoying

but hes so right

ever since you caught him,

hes been making sure he gets home at the same time 

he sends you a text that hes on his way and you set your ringtone at a very high volume so you wake up and take care of him

during fights, he makes it his sole mission to make out of this alive and a winner for you

but that never crossed his mind as his feelings for you

he just thought of it as making you not worry for him

but then, he starts to think about your stupid little habits

the way you make this face whenever you dont understand

or when you still leave little post-it notes everywhere with ideas you come up with

he noticed it all and he loves them

‘hOLy ShIT!’

that night was when he realized his feelings for you and he was so dedicated on finishing it that he quickly won and he dashed home with his money

bursting through the door, you looked at him with wide and startled eyes

‘what’s wrong?’

you came running but he scooped you up to a hug

ok you were confused but relieved that he was home and alright

jeno looked at your face and wanted to confess but chickened out at the sight of you

you were so good to him and honestly, he doesnt deserve you

(his thoughts, not mine)

‘i-i’

he stuttered and you motioned him to continue

‘i won!’

he shouted and you congratulated him, even though he literally won all the time

guiding him to the chair, you began to dab his cuts

(dab that bitch)

‘im starting to think that your opponents either really suck or youre like the god of boxing’

he didnt know how to take that but blushed red at the mention of him being a ‘god of boxing’

‘nah, im just good’

you eyed him and smiled

he continued to watch you heal him and inspected your face

heavy eyebags and sunken cheeks, it mustve been a long night

he felt a pang in his chest thinking that you push your stuff away just to help him

‘you dont have to keep doing this for me, yknow’

you halt and look at him seriously

‘i know i dont. but i cant sleep at night thinking youre in pain and alone when i can be there for you’

even though he just realized it, jeno was pretty sure he fell in love with you a long time ago

but if it was possible, he fell in love with you even more

‘thank you’

his soft voice filled the silence and you vowed that you will always be there for him whenever he needs help

a few days later, jeno hasnt been to a fight

sure you were worried at what was going on in his head but partly relieved that you dont have to see him so battered anymore

but this was so un-jeno

just as you were about to talk to him about it, he announces he got a job at the bookstore down the street

‘huh? i thought you didnt want to work’

you question while he looked sheepish

‘i realized that i was starting to become a burden since you take care of me every time. so i thought i should quit and get a regular job. besides, it doesnt hurt as much’

he laughed but you didnt react

‘lee jeno, you gave up boxing and the money,,, for me?’

he nervously looked up at you and you noticed the redness of his cheeks

‘i-well-if you put it that way’

‘listen to me, im flattered and i truly love that you dont want to get beaten up anymore. but i dont want you to quit something you like because of me'

‘but you always take care of me and push your priorities away to clean me up. i dont do anything in return and i dont think its fair!’

he argued and a soft smile crept up your face

‘yah, lee jeno'

your voice became a whisper

‘it doesnt matter to me if you dont do anything in return bc i dont see this as a favor. you are mine to take care of and i will do anything for you, you understand that?’

he looked at you in shock after hearing your response

he also turned red at the mention of him being yours

‘so-but-i dont think-'

he stutters but you place your hands on his arms making him stop

‘all i ask is you to come back home, to come back to me'

by now, yall were blushing

even though it might not sound like it,

but yall just indirectly confessed to each other

yall stared at the ground and jeno looks up, biting his lip

‘hey, y/n, can i make it up to you with some coffee?’

your head darted up and looked at him with wide eyes

‘like-like a date?’

it came out suddenly and you stepped back in surprise, cursing yourself

but jeno chuckled, eyes scrunching cutely

‘it'll be one of many'

lmao i didnt really like this but i made it at 2 in the morning and i kinda like boxer!jeno

[arthurs-wife]

The Stagecoach Doesn’t Stop Here Anymore

Anonymous said to arthurs-wife: Hello! I’ve just done the mission where Mary asks Arthur to run away with her and I was going to ask if you could write a story where Arthur goes behind the readers back to run away with Mary and leaves the reader worried about him for weeks aswell as the gang so she’s rides out to look for him and finds him and Mary kissing leaving her heartbroken as well as Arthur as he begins crying/ pleading for her to come back. Could you make it a happy/ fluffy ending? Thank you ✨💕

A/N: this got lonk. i hope it makes some sense, thank you so much for the prompt and your patience!

You stood to the side of Arthur’s tent, around the wagon, and tapped your foot nervously. If you went in there were you too needy? Did you maybe give him some time? It had only been one kiss, maybe just play it off, act natural.

You took a deep breath and swung yourself around the wagon and opened your mouth to… an empty bed. Deflated, you dropped your arms to your side and looked around. Strange, his bed looked neater and the pictures were gone from his bedside table and wagon. Your head whipped around to see if his horse was still hitched, she wasn’t.

“Charles!”

Within seconds he was at your side, strapped in and ready to go.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s Arthur,” you gestured to his empty cabin, “I think he’s gone.”

Charles surveyed the scene and motioned for you to follow him. You mounted your horses and rode off towards Valentine.

A train blundered past you both, blowing its horn and clacking away as you struggled to keep up with Charles. You both skidded into the train station and hitched your horses and barrelled inside.

“When did the last train leave?” you demanded of the ticket man and Charles put his hand on your shoulder.

“Why just a few minutes ago,” the ticket man said, holding his hands up a little at your tone.

“Did you see a man get on,” you asked, “tall-ish, long brown hair and a hat with a rope around it? Would have been wearing a blue shirt probably.”

“Oh! Oh yes,” the man said excitedly, happy he could provide you with at least a little information, “yes he came through with a woman early this morning.”

“What did she look like?” Charles asked because your throat had suddenly become so tight you couldn’t breathe.

“Brown hair, freckle on her right cheek,” he said.

“Where did they go?” you managed to ask.

“I’m sorry miss,” he said, “I didn’t sell them the tickets, just happened to see them get on board.”

There was nothing more to do, so you walked out of the station, barely registering your surroundings. The sun was up proper now and people in Valentine were starting to stir.

“Who is she?” you asked when Charles had appeared beside you.

“That’d be Mary,” he said, taking your hand and walking to your horses, “I’m surprised he actually did it this time.”

“Did what?”

“Start a new life with her.”

The sun was cold.

*** You spent most of your time in the wilderness, scouting out towns and huddled around your campfire, looking for Arthur. Sometimes Charles stayed with you to help look, but you felt more alone when he was there.

Dutch had been enraged when Charles informed him what Arthur had done and locked himself away in his tent. Hosea tried to talk to him but found more yield talking to a wall. The only person who didn’t seem to be affected was Micah, who strode around the camp, thumbs in his suspenders.

“Looks like pretty boy got himself a train out of here as quick as he could, huh?”

Only Charles and Jack had offered to help you look for him, as fruitless an effort it may be.

You all rode from the Mountains of West Elizabeth to Annesburg and there was no trace of the man. One night you and Charles and John sat around a campfire on an unseasonably cold night and drank from your respective flasks. John offered you a cigarette and you took one.

“I don’t know what Dutch is gonna do if we can’t find him,” he said, mumbling as he lit his cigarette, “might just implode. Been going that way for a while.”

“Dutch’ll keep on going,” Charles shook his head, “he’s dealt with this before.”

“Doesn’t mean he was the better for it,” John said.

You laid there listening to them talk and looked up at the stars and wondered why you were even looking for Arthur. You all were going through the motions now, doing your due diligence to make sure that if you did find Arthur, he’d know you all really did care about him.

Not that he cared for you.

*** “Get behind here.”

Charles grabbed your sleeve and pulled you behind a pillar. You had finally made it to Saint Denis, three full weeks after Arthur had left you. It was the industrial side of town and the buildings were crammed together like sardines, you hated it here and could tell Charles did too.

“What is it?” you whispered and Charles nodded to a stagecoach.

You turned to look and it stopped in front of a house. The driver stepped off and opened the door, holding his hand out for-

“That’s her, Mary,” Charles hissed and you felt him restless beside you.

When she was down another man stepped out and if it weren’t for that stupid smile you wouldn’t have recognized him.

Hair trimmed short and faded on one side, his beard almost non-existent, clean suit and not a speck of dirt on his shoes. Arthur stepped out of the carriage and Mary grabbed his hand, pulling him down and kissing him.

And that just made you so god damn mad.

“Arthur you son of a bitch!”

You stomped out of your precarious hiding space and barely heard Charles trying to drag you back. The breath had left your lungs to be replaced with cold fire and brimstone and you pulled back your fist and punched him dead in the jaw.

Like it mattered, your fists were fleas compared to his face but you think you got the point across. Tears filled your eyes and you didn’t even care about Mary at this point, all your rage was focused on this man who was doing just fine without the rest of you.

“Y/n, wait, I-”

“I’m done waiting!” you cried, “I waited three weeks for you to show your face, you coward! We all waited! Do you know what you did to us?”

“I know and I’m sorry-”

“I don’t care how sorry you are!”

Charles had come up behind you quietly and taken your hand and it calmed you down a little. Always a light in such trying times. Arthur turned his gaze to Charles and pleaded with him silently.

“At least we know you’re okay, Arthur,” Charles said and you could hear the venom in his voice, see the way Arthur recoiled from it. Mary walked up to Arthur and looked between the three of you.

“Arthur, who is this?” she asked, looking at you. Somehow you couldn’t be mad at her. She was beautiful and strong enough to tear Arthur away from a life that would kill him. “Mary this is y/n,” he sighed, “and Charles.”

“You two seem to have some kind of relationship,” she said, drawing herself up.

“We don’t,” you spat, “enjoy civilization.”

You turned on your heel and left, despite the fact that both of your horses were in the opposite direction. Anything to get away from them, from the stink of this city.

You felt a hand grab yours and you thought it was Charles but you turned.

“I ain’t got nothin’ to say to you,” you said, ripping your hand out of Arthur’s.

“I made a mistake,” he said.

“You sure seemed to be enjoying that mistake by kissin’ on it.”

“Now it ain’t like that-”

“Then tell me what it’s like!” you cried. You felt so small in front of this man.

“I got scared,” he said finally, “that night with you, made me feel things I hadn’t felt in years. I went to town to clear my head and Mary got to me first, made her case and here I am. Not my proudest moment.”

“Dutch is furious,” you said.

“As he should be.”

“I’m furious.”

“I did you wrong,” he said, taking a step closer to you, “and I’m glad y’all found me.”

“You better,” you said through your gritted teeth, “get your ass back to Valentine before I kick it back there for you.”

In spite of the sour situation he grinned at you. And in even more spite, because that’s what you were made of, you stood on your toes and kissed him, taking his face in your hands and pressing as hard as you could, feeling him wrap his arms around you.

“And grow out your beard for Christ’s sake.”

[indigo474]

9222-222 love portal- Welcome to Libra season

Welcome to long nights and short days. I was rushing home today so i could go to the park and run.. the universe had other plans- traffic. I was disappointed. BUT that just mean I can run tomorrow morning. i am so torn about what to do. I don't want to stop and lose the progress I've made. I'm not happy about running on a treadmill. I guess i am going to have to do it- or run outside in the dark. i have to figure it out. I have to remember to bring the mace with me- i forget about 90% of the time- i would hate to need it and not have it- i like t keep it in the house incase i need it- but maybe i'll leave it in my car and just use the wasp killer for in house self defense.

Amy use to run 5k's and half marathons. she had an injury and doesnt run anymore. she tells me walking is just as good as running- i don't know if that's true- i'm sure some would say walking is even better than running- less stress on your body. Better for what? I love walking- i hope to be able to walk until the day i die.. it doesnt make me feel the way running does. i know i'm alive when i am running- i can't explain it. i just know i don't feel the same when i walk. I've been eating lunch in work- a few times a week anyway.

The ICE QUEEN stood by by desk to say goodbye. I was on a call. she told me to have a nice vacation and she'll see me when i get back. I actually like her- she's down to earth. like she's been through some shit. I was going to offer to go shopping with her on Sunday for our work bbq. the only reason i didnt is because its all nice to think about doing that kind of stuff until its time to do it.

James the personal trainer reached out to me. He's not far from my work. I am going to meet with him sometime in Oct.

Exciting stuff going on.. i have to figure out what day i am going to trip. not sure the weight of what i am going to take-i don't think it really matters. i already have the popcorn ready.. Mads has off from school which kind of stinks because she will want to know where i am. I'll figure it out. i always do.

[diary-during-a-pandemic]

better day one post

today was a good day, actually

i woke up and played animal crossing (new horizons) and felt like a lifetime passed in the span of two hours that i played. i think it was from 9 to 11. 

oh this is random but does anyone else feel bad when you have a 9 too close to an 11? it’s like i’m just summoning all the bad things that happened during 9/11 into my core and they just build up like fat in arteries. its not even that big of a deal because its not like im actually referencing 9/11 but still, it bothers me. not even because i was cognizantly (or however you spell that) aware during that time, i just feel vaguely guilty???

but anyway, i had fun on animal crossing. i built a garden yesterday on a mountain behind my house, and funded a slope up to it. i dont think any of my villagers will wander out that far to visit it, but its nice to have the flowers so close. im not real worried about breeding them for the rarer colors, because my most favorite colors and pink and yellow (and green, but they only have mums in that color i think), but it would be nice to share them with my friends if i do get them. 

i also set up a better entrance to my airport. i like to sell things on nookazon (which is, of course, amazon for animal crossing. well actually its more like ebay but i digress), but my entrance was cramped and ugly before. i really like it now, but i forgot to lay down a pretty sidewalk. that’s alright though, because grass is pretty too. 

i kind of forgot what else i did since then, but i think the outfit i dressed my villager in was very cute, too. it was a tube top and some pretty red patterned pants, and i had a flower in my hair. i wish i could wear a tube top in real life, but im scared that people will try to yank it down to show my boobs. my mom said it happened to one of her sisters once (i think?). im also scared that people will do it to make fun of my fat stomach. im not shy about being fat, but ive heard “there’s nothing wrong with being fat” enough to think theres something wrong with being fat. not to get like existential about it (is that the right word?) but its like how people say theres nothing wrong with being poc. of course there isn’t, but people think there is something wrong with it enough that we have to say its not. 

lmao anyway none of that is about the corona but i guess this is a diary anyway so thats alright. 

anyway!

after animal crossing, i took my dog out. she’s a yorkie chihuahua breed with really bad breath. she got her bad breath from her bad teeth, because she bit my uncle so hard that she gave him stitches. he doesnt like her, but i say its what he deserves because he kept scaring her in her cage. i wont get in on the details, but im so mad at him and my extended family too, because they decided to put her outside after that and she (surprise) ran away. luckily we got her back, but me and my mom and my sister (my family) were overseas at the time, so it was very stressful. i wasnt meant to know about it, but i overhead my mom talking to my sister about it and about having her go home early to get my dog (diamond). 

anyway she has really bad teeth now, and bad breath from the teeth, but i dont think it bothers her much as long as she doesnt get a lot of food stuck in them. she likes to lick my face and make it stink as bad as her tongue lmao. plus, since she’s getting old and they were already lose from biting my uncle, her teeth are starting to fall out one by one. each loss makes her breath smell better LMAO

but anyway!! i took my dog out. it had just finished raining, i think, and diamond hates the rain. we didnt stay out long. once i came back inside, i sold the rest of my turnips (in animal crossing). i had to use turnips.exchange because (even though its not sunday) according to a turnip calculator, the sell price on my island was only going to get lower and lower. maybe it would have spiked at the end of the week, but im one of those animal crossing cheaters who time skips so i figured i’d just sell them now and time skip later. 

i did time skip, and i met redd (the art seller). this is my first animal crossing game that i’ve played for longer than a day, but i think redd isnt that bad. he sells counterfeit art, but i guess we all have to make a living somehow. 

outside of animal crossing, im not really sure what i do anymore. school is a bit hard because (like i said) time isnt linear anymore. one of my assignments was late, but i dont think my teacher has logged in for a while so im not sure it matters. we’re all tired, and probably scared

but i finished my work, nonetheless. most of it, although i still need to read some stories for class and give my classmates feedback. im a creative writing major. i love writing, even though im not confident in my abilities all the time. i hope i dont come off as a bad writer here. if i do, i hope nobody ever tells me lmao

now its 10:30 pm. my mom just told me to put the clothes in the dryer for her. that, and doing the dishes, is my only chore but i forgot most of the time (which is why she reminds me of course). i like sitting in the laundry room because i like the smell of the lint. its hard, though, because my mom and i, even with her reminders, are bad at washing clothes. we forget and let them pile up until they dont fit in the room anymore. 

although, to be fair, we dont have a very large laundry room. it fits our washer and dryer and barely one of those laundry baskets that has wheels and a pull out handle. you know the one, probably.

anyway this is getting a little long, especially for a first post lmao. im getting distracted and starting to pull up other stuff, and my mom came in to make me pick out a different face mask to order (i think from etsy but probably name brand knowing my mom), so i guess i’ll cut myself off there. 

i didnt do much else today anyway. 

oh, also the mask i chose is a rainbow peace pattern! just in case anyone wanted to know.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 13.10.17 lb

ok i’m actually incapable of watching this godforsaken show without constantly scream-typing every thought that passes through my head, so here we are.

omfg what is this ajeeb chandni bar type lighting?? 😟😟😟

i love how shivaay’s been missing for a whole 24 hours and no one even bothered to ask him where he was. like it’s so routine now that no one even gives a fuck anymore. he eventually comes back. he ALWAYS comes back. (unfortunately.)

this whole fucking memorial plan was hella dumb in the first place.

LMAO WHUT SHUKLA IS IN A COMA???? HOW?????? matlab kuchhhh bhi????

lol godddd these fuckers are gonna get caught coz they never stop fighting.

OMFG SHIVAAY YOU IDIOT HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHERE THE MIRRORS ARE IN YOUR OWNNNNN HOUSE 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

lololololol shaatir singh oberoi gonna get fucked over by uncle TEZZZZZ singh oberoi.

like, i can’t believe that shivaay/anika are thinking that the sr. oberois are incapable of doing such things. once again may i remind you ppl, pinky GOT HER OWN SON KIDNAPPED/ALMOST KILLED AND JUST GENERALLY FUCKED HIM OVER COZ SHE WASNT GETTING HIS ATTENTION. tej tried to SET FIRE TO HIS WIFE IN THE LIVING ROOM AND GET HIS SON EATEN BY A CROCODILE SO HE COULD MARRY HIS SIDE CHICK. whyyyyyyyy do you think they’re not capable of setting a mill on fire for insurance money???? this actually is very lowwwww level kameenapan compared to the shit they’ve already done???? 😒😒😒

god shivaay you’re a fucking idiot.

anikaaaaa has had enouuuuugh of this bullllllllllshit. no one is letting her fucking enjoy her honeymoon period! she should be doted on and fussed over and getting orgasms on the daily; not having to deal with this garbage! 😤😤😤😤

ok fuck you shivaay. maybe if you bothered LISTENING to her when she talked then you’d understand the issue. god i hate men.

WHAT THE FUCK HES NOT EVEN TELLING HER WHERE HES GOING????? OMG FUCKING LEAVE HIS ASS ANIKA. TAKE TANYA AND RUN AWAY. MY GOD THESE OBEROI MEN ARE THE FUCKING WORST HUSBANDS IN THE UNIVERSE.

lol of course she’s gonna follow you. why are you even bothering to say that?!!? do you not know your wife at all?

like even if she wasn’t thinking of it, you’ve put the idea in her head now.

ok on one hand i’m like anika, why??? he’s clearly got something else on his mind. also he doesn’t deserve this seduction routine with how rude he’s being. on the other OMG WHAT KINDA PATTHAR DIL SANAM ARE YOU SHIVAAY????? she’s so stinking cute and she’s trying to loveeeee you and my goddddd why aren’t you responding even a littleeeeee? you’re the fucking worst omg.

anika should have married that kinda-psycho-but-overall-cute che footiya vikram when she had the chance. he’s an orphan too, so uske yeh roz roz ke family waale siyaape bhi nahi hote. 😕😕😕

ouff why do these two have to bring dadi in between all their private marriage waale issues???? you two are so fucking immature. 😒😒😒

omfg anika stop playing him retro songs and just tell him to fuckkkkk offfff already; you didn’t even do anything wrong here?!?!!

god what even am i watching; just gimme my rikara. i want to see my sweetu sardarKara. 👳🏽‍♀️👳🏽‍♀️👳🏽‍♀️👳🏽‍♀️

ugh fucking fuckkkkkk rudra i don’t wanna waste my time on this garbage.

mwahaha bhavya calling rudra out on trying to ape SSO. 🙃🙃🙃

daaaadi chaante toh bachpan mein lagaane the isko. 😒😒😒

wait, the fashion wing is an official oberoi thing? and they trusted rudra with it. wow.

bitchh what did you do for that land deal??? abhay did everything. 🙄🙄🙄

ouffff i wanted to see abhay’s abs.

OK THIS FUCKER IS JUST ASKING FOR IT WITH THE WAY HE’S TREATING MY GIRL TANYA. GIRL, TIME TO GHUSAOFY THAT KHANJAR YOU FOUND IN THE DRAWER. OR CALL IN THE EXPERT: QUEEN SVETLANA. 😈😈😈

god i’m feeling the shivika/abhya (tanAy?) parallels and all but god i just want my girls to leave these assholes already. all oberoi men are unworthy of their women and their love. ALL OF THEM.

what the fuck are these looks abhay gives every time she mentions love??? does he not love her??? why did he marry her then? 🤔🤔🤔

god abhay, you manipulative piece of shit. ugh why is your face so goddamn attractive that i can’t hate youuuuu. 😭😭😭😭😭 (the same genes that shivKara have. ouff. jeena haraam kar rakha hai in kambakht mardon ne.)

lmao what these ppl are really going to goa???? i thought that was to mislead shivaay!!!

hahahahaha shivaay’s seen ipkknd and knows that wife can smuggle herself (and pakore) in via the boot. 😂😂😂

lmaooooo of course dadi is in on this.

god tanya, you’re the worst at this.

why the fuck does GAURI have to pay for richa’s shaadi????

how the fuck is this all INCLUDING gehne only coming up to 40k??? like gehne alone should hella expensive???? 😐😐😐

oooooooh she called him omkara!

ok girl have you ever considered if everything is SO similar (down to the earring he’s wearing!), it might be him???? just a… suggestion. 😬😬😬

she’s basing her conclusion that this isn’t omkara purely on the fact that dilpreet’s shaayari is so fucking horrible. amaze.

oh. richa’s been a good friend. chalo theek hai phir.

chirraiya be like bitch you don’t know me. i mastered a whole language in one week flat. i brought down kali thakur, svetlana, and buamaa oberoi single handedly. i did dangal and pachadofied a trained pehelwan. i have shivaay singh oberoi wrapped around my little finger. mereko underestimate na kariyo. 😒😒😒

god i love this girl so much. she’s so amazing. this whole show and everyone in it is so unworthy of her.

look at him watch her gooooo. he’s soooo falling in love with her. eeeeeee. 😚😚😚

lmao why is he always hungryyyyy, yeh anika ka bhai hai kya???

ok abhay really hates tanya. and i hate him for hating tanya. my poor girl.

abhay can you just take your shirt off while you do this nonsense evil monologue (complete with cliche evil laugh) of yours??? give a girl something to work with here. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

oufffff this fucking maaaaaaa is so annoying. can she just die????

this woman doesn’t even look remotely sick.

WHY CANT THIS USELESS MAAAAAAAA GIVE HIM THE FOOD????

um gauri, don’t touch his stuff. it’s weird.

ooooooh noooooo the cardddddddd. 😬😬😬

oh thank god

MERA KAMRA TOH AAP….

pffffft typical spoilt brown dude. ugh.

oh ho, can’t eat till gauri’s eaten, what a patnivrata boy. ☺️☺️☺️

LMAO THE WAY HE STARTLED HER

god he’s so annoying. cute but annoying. talks tooooo much.

hmph. achchi biwis are wasted on you men. fuck you allllll.

ok why this fucking song. lordddddd it sooooo doesn’t go with the scene.

him sneaking lovestruck looks at her though. oufffffff omki, just let me haaaaate you yaaar. 😩😩😩😩

OK THIS DEVI KI CHUNNI THING AND THIS SONG TOTALLY DOESNT GO TOGETHER. WYD SONG DEPT????

his little kaan pakad-ing thing is cute tho. 😊😊😊

ok the hand grabbing is a litttle inappropriate bro. keep distance. horn ok please. 😑😑😑

ummmmm ok wtf is this sundari bua and don waala garbage??? i literally do not give a single fuck about this nonsense rn. fwding.

errrrrrr ok?!?? i find it realllly hard to believe that gauri would fall asleep on some rando dude she doesn’t even know like that. matlab awaiiii ka romance ghusaane ke liye kuch bhi???? 🤔🤔🤔

don’t touch her!!!! you suck and are not worthy!!!! (yet.)

yup. gauri has all the GHORRR PAAAAAAAAAP 😱😱😱😱😱 waale feels

wow, gauri toh ab shankarji se bhi maafi english mein maangti hai. too much.

um girl you don’t know he’s an achcha insaan??? you literally know nothing about him.

like i love dilpreet. i do. with all my heart. but this is suchhhhhhh a ridiculous fucking plot. honestly. i mean… i know i should suspend all belief but DUDE. HADH HAI. HE EVEN HAS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING TATTOO ON HIS WRIST. HE HASNT EVEN BOTHERED COVERING THAT UP!!!!!!! LIKE WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT???? COME ON GAURI. AANKHEIN HAI YA BUTTON???????? 😒😒😒😒😒😒

pfffft sheher chota ho ya bada, rehnewaalon ki soch kahin bhi rehkar choti ho sakti hai.

um then why have you let some random guy you don’t even know live in your house???

LMAO BHAIIIIIIIII KI TARAH 😂😂😂

snort. hubs is having a srs panic attack at being termed bhai. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

precap: guess we’re all going to goa then. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[askjennie]

Relationship breaking point

Hi Jennie, i need an outsiders perspective on my situation. I dont know where to start really but here goes nothing.

So i have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years now. And recently we took a couple of weeks apart because i felt like i neeed the space from him. He makes me feel stupid, small, ignorant. He makes inappropriate comments about my mother (implying she is a slag mostly)  and he does this all the time. He does not show me intimacy and when it comes to sex i am always the one that has to make the moves and so recenty i just cant be bothered. He farts extremely loudly and blows them my way and im totally sick of the childish behaviour.

so when we took the couple of weeks apart i began to realise i dont want to be in this dead end relationship anymore. I had made the decision to break up with him. However this changed when he called me up crying his eyes out, certain that he had lost me. i love this boy dearly and he deserves a wonderful girl to be with but i dont feel like that is me anymore. But when he called me it broke my heart hearing him like that so we agreed to keep the relationship going.

Since this talk things are going back to the way they were before we took a break and im feeling fed up.

But this is the worst part. My boyfriend has no support from his family and no real friends. So without me he has no one and i am terrified of what that will do to him. He doesnt deserve to have no one. His mother died when he was 12, his father moved out of his house when he was roughly 14 so he has been living with his step mother and step siblings since. They do not make him feel apart of the family and are all a bit loopy. His twin brother is a drug addict and so my boyfriend falls into nasty habits when he is around his twin.

i dont want him turning to drugs if i leave him.He is better than that and has potential to be great but he is not use his potential. We have grown apart as people and i think his attitude stinks.

Also on Monday just gone i went out clubbing and at the end of the night met this guy… he was lovely and so attractive, made me laugh so much and i wanted to give him my number but i was good and didnt in respect for my boyfriend, but this was monday, now its Thursday and i wish i had given him my number, i cant stop thinking about him.

Basically Jennie, i love my boyfriend and have been with him a long time now so we have a bond and i dont want him to be alone or depressed in any way. How would you go about ending the relationship and starting fresh? I just dont want to hurt him and i want him to have things going on in his life to distract him from a breakup

Jennie: The truth is, you are not responsible for him. You are responsible for yourself, and you owe it to yourself to leave a relationship that you’re not happy in. You never have to feel guilty for ending a relationship if the relationship isn’t right for you, for whatever reason. But you especially don’t have to feel guilty for breaking up with someone who makes you feel stupid and small, doesn’t show he cares, and makes rude, sexist comments about your mother. 

You’re right, he doesn’t deserve to have no one. But he deserves to have people in his life who are there because they want to be in his life, not people who are miserable around him but stay out of a sense of duty. That’s not any healthier for him than it is for you. Staying in a relationship where you’re not happy isn’t good for you, and staying in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to be with him, and resents him, and wishes they were with someone else, isn’t good for him. You’re not doing him any favours by staying.

Be as kind as you can, but be clear, and be firm. Don’t give him the option to wear you down and change your mind. Break up in a place where you can leave the situation easily. Then, get some space from him. It probably will hurt him, but breakups are a normal part of life, and he’ll get through it. How he does that is not your responsibility. 

[jadeloveshenry]

the stages of grief

so I was doing a 1000 word thing for my English class and then I loved it so much I turned it into a  shawn fic that's more than 1000 words.i also apologize for any grammar stuff or if it doesnt make sense lol.  enjoy. 

Denial:

“This can’t be happening,” Sophie says as she tugs at her golden locks. “No...” She looks down at her phone with the text message still displayed on the screen: He’s gone. Salty tears stream down her face and she puts her head in her lap. “This can’t be happening.. He.. he can’t be gone,” she hiccups. “He’s still alive, they got it all wrong, you’re here,” Sophie cries. “You’re on your way to my house, and you’re bringing take out like you usually do.” She stops for a moment at the memory, letting go of her hair she stares blankly down at her bed not able to make sense of it all. “How…” She chucks her phone at the wall, and a shatter rings through the house. “NO!” falling down onto the bed, her sobs become louder, longer, and almost violent, jolting her body back and forth.

Sophie heard two knocks on the door and immediately smiled when she realized who it was on the other side of the door.  Walking to the door in her clad feet, she opened the door to reveal her adorable boyfriend, Shawn. He looked up from his phone in a rather quick manner and gave her the cheesiest smile. “I brought takeout,” Shawn replied while holding up the all to familiar Chinese takeout bag.  

“Omg, you are the BEST boyfriend ever!” Sophie squealed while grabbing the bag, “Now hurry up and get in here I’m missing Harry Potter right now.”

Shawn chuckled lightly and hugged her, “You’re so cute.”

Sophie buried her head into his chest so he doesn’t see the blush that had appeared on her cheeks. “What can I say, I like Harry Potter,” she mumbled.

“Alright, alright let's go, missy,” Shawn said picking Sophie up bridal style and rushing her into the living room.

“Let me go!” Sophie laughed.

Anger:

Sophie slowly walks into the bathroom and wipes at the tears with the sleeve of the sweatshirt that she was wearing. It was Shawn’s. Out of all the sweatshirts of his that she wore, she always gravitated towards the green one. She smiles at the thought then immediately frowns. Why should I sad? He’s the one who got himself killed. She looks up in the mirror to see a different person. Her hair is disheveled and she has mascara all over her rosy cheeks. She suddenly feels… angry. “Why would you do this to me?” Sophie questions, “Why would you leave me here alone?” She tugs at her locks for the hundredth time that night. Her breathing starts to get uneven. Tears start to roll down her face again. “Why..” she sobs with her face in her hands. She sinks down the wall of her bathroom. “How could you do this to me! You’re supposed to be here!” Sophie cries, “I hate you!” She stands up and put her hands on the counter. A bloodcurdling scream pours out of her as she shoves everything onto the floor. A crash echoes through her house, and she leans over the sink feeling as if her entire body’s fluids might just pour out. She goes to throw up but she can’t, she hasn’t eaten in a couple days.

Sophie typed rather quickly as she tried to get her research paper done. Papers were flown everywhere, and she looked like a mess. Her hair was halfway out of the bun, she had eye bags for days, and her very time consumed makeup was smudged. She had texted her boyfriend some time ago and specifically told him NOT to come over. She didn’t need one more distraction in her life. He came over anyway. He walked into the apartment, went over to her and closed her computer. “Hey!” Sophie exclaimed, “I was working on that!”

“Not anymore,” Shawn said, “You need to take a break.” “Speaking of...when was the last time you DID take a break?”

“I took a break last night when I went to bed last night, does that count?” Sophie questioned.

Shawn’s eye went wide, “Wait so you haven’t taken a break to eat ?”

“Well, I did have a granola bar earlier….”

“Nope doesn’t count.” Shawn said, “Alright come on I’m going to make you something.” “In the meantime go take a shower you stink.”

“HEY, I don’t smell!” Sophie laughed as she stuck her tongue at Shawn.

“Yes, you do now go.”

“I love you,” Sophie laughed.

“Oh honey, I love you more.”

Bargaining:

Sophie can barely contain herself in class. She wants to die. Sophie knows that she can’t though, he wouldn’t want it. Tears start to fill her eyes again as she walks down the hallway and immediately makes a turn and runs out of the school to her car. She gets inside the car and automatically tears start to fall down. ”I should’ve convinced him not to come over.” “I should’ve gotten in that car crash, not him.” “Please God just take me,” Sophie sobs “Please.”

Sophie's phone vibrates next to her as she’s watching her favorite movie, The Fault in Our Stars. She sees it’s Shawn and picks up the phone. “Hey what’s up?” she questions.

“I’m just about to leave to come to see you.”

“No don’t come the roads are terrible.”

“Too late I’m on my way.”

“No, go back home Shawn.”

“Too late honey.”

“I’ll just come to you.”

Alex laughed, “I see you in a few.”

She never did.

Depression:

Sophie has been in her room for days. She won’t come out, she doesn’t have the energy. She wants to move on with her life, but she feels too guilty. Why would she live her life when he isn’t? It was her fault that he got killed. Her sweet loving boyfriend got killed in a car crash because she couldn’t convince him to not come over. She couldn’t even make it to the hospital, what kind of girlfriend is she? A terrible one for sure. She will never forgive herself for this. She closes her eyes as thoughts start to swarm her head like bees. They start to take over her being. They repeat in her head over and over. You’re a terrible person, it’s your fault. You need to die.  “I’m sorry,” Sophia mutters, “I’m sorry I let you down. “I’m sorry I’m not a good enough person.” Her breathing starts to get uneven. “I’m sorry I was a terrible girlfriend,” Sophia cries. She sits up and looks around with wide eyes. She feels as if her chest is going to explode. Her breathing gets heavier, tears start to roll down her face. She collapses on the ground in defeat. Her hands go to her hair. “Please,” she heaves, “Make it stop.”

She got the text on a Saturday. His mom had texted it to her. She couldn’t make it to the hospital because she had to fly from her home in Colorado to Canada to see him. She had plenty of time but, of course, the flight got delayed. She rushed to try and get the next flight but there were weather issues. She had gone over and sat in one of the chairs in defeat. She had quickly pulled out her phone and texted Karen and told her that she’s sorry that she won’t be able to get there in time. She said that she understood and she was glad that she was safe inside with the weather conditions. Sophia quickly responded thankfully and put her phone back in her backpack. Then she waited.

After hours of waiting, and sleeping, the weather had cleared up, which made it able for Sophie to go her home. Shawn. Before she had gotten on the plane she had texted Karen and told her that she was able to go on her flight. When she had gotten on the plane she wasn’t able to sleep, so she stared out the window and hoped that her precious was okay.

When Sophia has gotten off the plane, she was rushing passed everyone to get to her uber, which to find out canceled on her. What luck. Sophie was starting to stress. Her braid was being tugged on as she tried to find another uber. She had to go see Shawn. She had gotten the uber and had made it all the way to her apartment when she received a text message. She had done a double take.

He’s gone it said.

Acceptance:

It had been months since the incident. Sophie was feeling better, almost happier. She wasn’t really back to the way she was, how can one be? She felt lonely and empty. There was still a pain in her chest, but that's what happens when you lose a loved one. She missed him, a lot. She wished most days that she could get one of his amazing hugs or cuddles. People look at her now with sorrow has Sophie walks towards the grave site, but, she doesn’t seem care. Right now it’s just her and Shawn. She walks with the bouquet like she wasn’t fazed. Sophie has fazed, though. She went through so much, and she’s healing. “I’m starting to change,” Sophie said, “But as you said, changing isn’t a bad thing, it never was.” “I hope it never does become a bad thing.” She starts to walk away. She turns, “Oh, and I love you.”

Shawn had driven Sophie to school the day she had finals.

“I’m no nervous I’m not going to be able to go through this.”

“You got this.”

“Can you just come with me?”

“I wished”, Shawn laughed, “but I can’t you have to go through that own your own.”

“Fine, I love you.”

“I love you too, honey.”

ALRIGHT this is the end idk how i feel about it i feel like it could be 1000  x better. I wanted to add like kissing in there and like other things but idk how I would do that. if someone wants to write on this topic please do because its going to be better than mine. lol  if you like it share it if you want lol HAVE AN AMAZING DAY WOOO (also alex was the original name so if you see alex it’s supposed to be shawn) ;)