#the hoodie doubles as a dysphoria hoodie

[serial-killers-hope]

Could you do a thing for ronin with a partner that’s transmasc but dresses really fem and feels really insecure and like they aren’t an actual guy because of how they present?

(totally not projecting shhhhhhh)

Ah, well. I’ve been planning this for quite awhile actually… well, I suppose you wouldn’t mind some of my work again. ~ DP

CW / TW :

- Gender Dysphoria

- Running / Intrusive Thoughts

- Anxiety

SPOILERS FOR KILLER CHAT

Enjoy.

Petticoats and Blood.

You stared at the coord you had made yourself for the next day. The mannequin sported your petticoat and purse for the next day. Dressing pretty and very nice was your forte after all. Even if it did garner unwanted criticism from so-called “normal” people. It made you happy to dress in frilly skirts, ruffled blouses, cute bonnets. The works for your average sweet style that everyone either loved or criticized ( for whatever reason… )and it made you question whatever was going on through their minds as well.

You hesitate for a second, hanging up the dress and putting away the jewelry for the night. Until your phone pings with a notification and ultimately throws off your insecure thoughts for the moment.

You pick up the phone, eyes narrowed as you stared at the text that the man you who had fallen for ( which you questioned why Ronin had put his name as “ Thy Divine Devil “ ) spammed your phone.

goreboy : darlin’

goreboy : come On. im bored and I want to see Your Pretty mug :)

You frown a bit, the word pretty sticking out like a sore thumb. In all honesty, you never bothered to correct him so how would he even know? All he knew was your identity change and your identity struggles. He’d help with the process, buying you your binder was a plus you didn’t know you needed and a man who knew how to inject testosterone to satisfy your euphoric needs?

Double whammy.

Ronin kept spamming, your frown evident as you shot him a text with a exasperated sigh.

[ User ] : What’s up? :)

You watched as his username popped up and slowly typed. Your impatience grew as you planted yourself down onto your bed with a quiet tap of your foot. Nose scrunched as your dysphoria feuded with your mentality. Hands gripping your phone as his message came through.

goreboy : can’t I just try to See You?

goreboy : But nahhhh, i’ll keep you updated when I see You :)

goreboy : i love you darlin’. keep Your Head up.

Your heart clenched as your throat tightened with a gentle tug of your vocal cords. Your voice didn’t even want to leave as you opened your mouth to say something into the random void of your goddamn room.

“Damn…”

You muster up the word, immediately jumping up to get dressed into some random clothes you had strewn about. Eyes alert and teary as you shrugged on some hoodie that Ronin had gave you some time ago. It’s material plush and gentle on the body. Black in color with a skull on its front.

It honestly screamed Ronin.

Your hand traced the pattern, sighing as you slipped on your shoes and grabbed your keys.

You usually dressed up, even for something simple as this ( meeting Ronin at his usual alleyway ) and even doing a minimal amount of makeup. But you shrugged off the heavy feeling, the dysphoria practically screaming as you got into the car that Ronin had fixed a few months prior to your ‘accidental’ meeting.

You parked a few blocks away from the spot, scrambling out and locking the car before jogging to the alleyway. Your eyes darted around slightly as you made your way down the pathway. Eyes drifting to a specific brick wall that the two of you had met at.

“… huh?”

Ronin slumped against the wall, grinning as he noticed your steps.

“Hey darlin’… how are-“

He cuts himself off, his eyes drifting over your body with a furrowed brow and a small frown which was immediately replaced with a smile.

“Lazy day?”

“You can say that.”

Ronin obviously wasn’t satisfied with the answer, arms crossing as he approached and looked you dead in the eye. Noticing the redness, the puffy texture around them, and the fake smile you usually pulled on bad dysphoria days with a subtle grunt.

“What’s wrong?”

You shift a bit, rocking on the heels of your feet as you shrugged slightly and looked away. Your brows furrowed a bit as he leaned to meet your facial level.

“Nothing… just a bad dysphoria day.”

Immediately, he scowled. His arms suddenly wrapping around you in a comforting hug as he whispered nothing but affirmations to you. It made all the pent up emotions in your body spill out onto the floor. Soft sobs and quiet chokes escaping as you reciprocated the hug and sobbed into his chest.

“I’m not normal, why can’t I be normal…”

Ronin sighs, pressing a gentle kiss against the top of your head. His warmth, inviting and comforting as he whispered into your ear.

“Were we ever normal?”

[egbertsoyfacing]

did you know your godteir hoodie doubles a Dysphoria hoodie?

==> TG: june seriously 20 dollars is 20 dollars

[oddball-artz]

OMG YOU HAVE SPOONS!!!!!! YIPPIE!!!! (probably bc you got a good night's sleep)

And if you know me at all, be prepared for the sea of questions>:]

1) Go into detail about Dalia and Sabrina and their family in the second Gen au. Any Hcs or stuff?

2) Nyx and his relationship with his family.

3) (idk if it was onyx or nyx who had the ED, I forgor their names are so similar).Go into detail Abt thier ED, tho.

4) For the love of God drop Hcs till I die, I don't care for who, I just NEED them.

And, if you have spoons don't be afraid to look in your inbox for any other asks I may have sent/nf (bc both me and you forget about the asks tbh)

And as always, ily platonically, man :333

It is not the sleep, I don't need sleep, idk what it was if it wasn't the sleep, but im not being proven wrong /j

I've only got a couple, and they're pretty Dalia centric, but you can have em

Dalia picked up a bunch of tips and tricks for dealing with kids both from helping raise her siblings and from treating kids as a nurse, uses them all the time, her personal favorite thay she's picked up is doubling bedsheets when kids are sick so that if they get dirty you can just take it off and make it a later problem while you comfort said sick child. Dalia is also very sentimental as a parent, cries at every ceremony and graduation. Sometimes she'll say something that sounds like her mother and she goes quiet for a while after that. I have a feeling that Sabrina and Dalia's house tends to be the designated 'safe house' for Vee and Jasper's friends. Dalia's actually kind of happy about this, in her mind it's confirmation that she's not her mother. (This may or may not be based on the fact that my house irl is the safehouse). All I have rn, sorry

Next up Nyx, my boy. He feels like a walking second place trophy compared to all his siblings. Brushes it off in an Rottmnt Leo sort of way, through humor and a facade of confidence. Desperately wants anyone to be proud of him. Takes his little siblings out crimeing™️ together sometimes, and is like the number one supporter of their shenanigans. Let's them steal his shit, as long as they don't get caught(bc he taught them better than that). The only thing he'd put up a fight against having stolen is his binder, but that's about it.

Oh and Onyx is the one with an ED, she has anorexia specifically. It started with her just trying to lose weight, she's fairly light, but her frame is wide, so she didn't see any results and things got drastic from there, especially when people started making fun of her for her body. She's super sensitive to comments about her body, and the bullying just made it so much worse. She hates looking at herself, in mirrors, in pictures, anything. It's like her eyes pick out the flaws every time and she can't stand it. So she's trying to 'fix' herself, much to the worry of the people around her. She eats in the dream bubbles, but that's only because she knows that it isn't real. Harlow noticed this and has started sneaking food into the dream bubbles just so Onyx eats for once. Onyx still hasn't caught onto this.

And various hcs about the sillies

Onyx spins her drumsticks between her fingers when she's bored, she can do it really fast too

Nyx's hoodie he wears in his sprite is his dysphoria hoodie

Gray has a lot of little interests she keeps hidden. They tend to be niche and geeky, so she hides them to protect her image

Nyx can project his voice loud enough to yell over the band

Onyx is only ever quiet when she's flustered or thinking about somthing, other than that there's usually at least a dull chatter coming from her

Onyx is very physically affectionate, she straight up tackle hugs people.

Gray was a pageant kid,and his parents were very competitive about it. They still have all their sashes from it too

Onyx doesn't fight for herself, but if you say something bad about someone she cares about that's when she starts a fight. Starting fights like that is what got her thrown through a window that one time

Onyx is the one who started calling Alison peepaw, and it just stuck after that

When Alison sleeps she doesn't snore, she shuffles through radio channels under her breath, kind of like sleeptalking

Speaking of Alison, he's insecure about the radio affect his voice has

Alison is very protective of the kids she's 'adopted' (usually underclassmen, but they've also taken most of the radio class under their wing)

[miscling]

A double task for you! You must be chilly so I want you to wrap up warm 🤗, but as soon as you’re nice and snug I need you to remind yourself how sexy you are by touching while you scroll pictures of yourself 🫴

Show us the picture you’re looking at when you have to stop to ride the edge! 🦆

I am like 1000% hot it's true I get so horny looking at my own pics sometimes like I can't believe how great it is that I can look at my own body and not feel crushing dysphoria

anyway thermal socks blanket oversized hoodie cozy cozy cozy

oh, and the picture I got to was...

I'd snapped a bathroom lewd while I was out on thursday for my besties. I got through a lot of pics before I got here...

Thank you for the ask task! (4)

[tomboyyyaoi]

hmm ed/dysphoria/dysmorphia tw i just need to talk abt this somewhere, just general body insecurity issues ahead

summer gets so hard for me coz i really really struggle with my weight, body dysmorphia, dysphoria and it doesnt help ive also noticed my posture getting worse (ive basically got a hump in my neck and its really making my insecurity issues worse)

ive had a bit of weight gain recently which i thought id recovered enough to be okay with but im really not, the main issue being its really noticable at my chest, it also doesnt help my posture is abysmal so it really only serves to make me feel worse about myself and feel more insecure in clothes that are loose around the neck, i thought i was okay being my bigger self but god ive fallen down a bit, ive been eating healthier (much needed since ive been unemployed and going out less) and ive really enjoyed it but ive been eating like shit and feeling like shit the past few weeks n it doesnt help my mum took a video yesterday which im basically front and centre in and god. my posture, my double chin, my face has never looked rounder it was awful, i cried, ive never felt such a disconnect between my brain and body, it made me really dysphoric too, i didnt think i looked like that.

ive been in a hoodie all day despite sweating my ass off, i cant take it off without thinking about my boobs and neck and posture, i feel terrible, i really thought i was doing better than this.

the problems less so that i look fat its that i look feminine when i get bigger, i can only think abt being this cute round little girl and its not me anymore, i dont wanna feel tied to that, i know its so unrealistic for me to ever be skinny but if i could just look a bit more androgynous, my chest isnt exactly small enough to get good binding results, its just really putting me back in the mindset i was in when i was at the peak of my ed in high school on this vicious cylce of starving myself then binge eating, i cant go back to that, i dont wanna go thru that again, but i can feel it creeping up on me and im really scared

ive also been really stressed about my birthday coming up where my mum gets all sentimental and embarrasses us by putting baby pics up everywhere and she absolutely does not respect how deeply insecure it makes me (she insists our birthdays are equally for her as they are for us which, i guess, but still) im just terrified to have so many eyes on me while im at a really bad place with my insecurities rn, im just really having a bad one

[emmatheyoshi]

Fuck it: Regressor! Rhapsody lore.

(Side note, this is still very much a work in progress. Expect this to be updated semi-often.)

🧸 Rhapsody’s little age is anywhere between a few months to two. She is a tiny little cub.

🧸 She wears pull-ups. (Keep your wEIRD FETISHES AWAY FROM HER AND MY BLOG!) Mostly for comfort, but also as a safety net, as her PTSD attacks and nightmares can be so vivid, she sometimes wets herself. She is very shy about it.

🧸 Gawain is her caregiver and she refers to him as “Dada.” However, when she’s talking about her late parents in this headspace, she’ll refer to them as “Mommy and Daddy.”

🧸 The other knights of the round table often babysit her when she little, but Lancelot is Gawain’s go-to babysitter. King Arthur (Sonic) also babysits her when she’s little and Gawain has to go battle.

🧸 For the most part, she’s nonverbal, only being able to say a few words like “Dada,” “salmon,” and “Kingsley.” She can also echo some words back and occasionally string together small sentences, but for the most part, words are too hard for such a little cub.

🧸 Kingsley is a stuffed frog her dad gave her before he died. Kingsley is green and wears a gold crown. On his tag is a message written by Allegro, Rhapsody’s late father, which reads, “If anything happens, remember that I love you. - Dad.”

🧸 She has a lot more stuffed friends than just Kingsley, but seeing that her dad gave her Kingsley, he’s naturally her favorite.

🧸 Rhapsody doesn’t really throw tantrums, but she’ll cry when experiencing negative emotions and when tired.

🧸 Rhapsody has a fear of the dark, which is basically cranked up to an eleven when she’s little.

🧸 One of Rhapsody’s natural trauma responses is dissociation. Because of this, she struggles with pretend play. The closest thing you’ll get to her playing pretend is giving her accessories meant for baby dolls, as she’ll use them to take care of her stuffed animals.

🧸 Rhapsody has body dysphoria when she’s little, mainly with her chest. It’s not the biggest thing in the world, but it isn’t flat.

🧸 Back to happier things, Rhapsody can and will steal Gawain’s sweaters and hoodies/sweatshirts. Not only are they oversized on her, but they smell like him too.

🧸 Please bottle and spoon feed her. She will love you forever if you do that.

🧸 Physical contact is important when she’s little. She likes to be cradled in people’s arms, nose nuzzles, and cheek rubs.

🧸 Skin-to-skin contact is also important. Gawain will rub his cheek against her cheek and she just melts.

🧸 Rhapsody has an office where she draws and practices her music. Said office also doubles as her nursery for when she’s little. She has a crib in there, as well as a toy box.

🧸 Even though she prefers stuffed animals over toys, she does have a few toys, mostly music related toys, dominoes, and blocks.

🧸 And…..we’re back to angst! (/neg) Rhapsody has so much trauma from the orphanage she was “raised” in, even bringing up certain topics can trigger her. The orphanage was extremely religious and ran by a Catholic church. Her time there has skewed her view on a lot of things that most people take for granted.

🧸 Some regressors have punishments in place for when/if they break rules. But the orphanage skewed Rhapsody’s view on what a punishment is so badly, that even saying the word will cause her to tense up. Because of this, Gawain takes more of a gentle parenting approach, explaining to Rhapsody what she did and why it was wrong. However, this is pretty rare, as she’s a very good little one.

🧸 In addition to my last point, the orphanage also caused Rhapsody to associate being good/well-behaved with being safe. Once, when she and Gawain went to a banquet King Arthur was hosting, Arthur started to pester her, because she wasn’t eating, which devolved into him just yelling at her, causing her to lock herself in a bathroom. Arthur chased after her, managed to get inside the bathroom, and found her laying on the shower floor, muttering, “I’m a good girl,” over and over to herself. Thankfully, Arthur realized his mistake and all was forgiven.

🧸 Back to happier things, Rhapsody doesn’t really like to play with toys. She’d much rather snuggle up with Gawain and watch TV.

🧸 Rhapsody has given her other caregivers/babysitters nicknames that she uses when she regresses around them. Lancelot is Lichi, Nimue is Nimi, and King Arthur is Opa, the informal German word for grandfather.

🧸 Rhapsody is a very low energy little. She’s very content to just snuggle up with Gawain (or one of her other caregivers) and watch TV, watch a movie, etc.

🧸 That being said, Rhapsody LOVES drawing. Even when regressed, her art skills are still amazing.

🧸 Rhapsody craves closeness a lot. She can and will rest her head on your chest and nuzzle right where your heart is.

🧸 Rhapsody usually only naps in her crib; she sleeps with Gawain in their bed.

🧸 Rhapsody loves getting bathed when she’s regressed.

🧸 On rare occasions (mainly when she feels extremely safe), Rhapsody will regress to a newborn headspace.

🧸 Please encourage her to get seconds on her own whenever she’s big enough to do so. She has trauma related to not getting enough to eat, so please reassure her that she’s allowed to get her fill.

🧸 For the love of sweet baby Broadway Jesus, tell her that it’s ok for her to cry. She’s very sensitive after a meltdown and always feels guilty for crying due to the fact that one of the nuns told her that, “Pretty girls don’t cry.”

🧸 Rhapsody has a favorite show to watch when regressed: Bear in the Big Blue House. She used to watch it all the time as an actual child, and watching when regressed brings back so many good memories.

🧸 Do not, I repeat, do not, leave Rhapsody alone when she’s regressed. If you have to leave, let her know where you’re going and when you’ll be back. If she’s asleep when you leave, leave her a note with information I mentioned in the previous point. Due to her childhood, she doesn’t like being all alone, especially when she doesn’t know where her caregiver(s) are.

🧸 Rhapsody only has one pacifier, a plain lavender one. She wants to get more, but she’s very attached to this one in particular. She also prefers plain pacifiers to decorated one.

🧸 While Rhapsody is usually nonverbal when regressed, struggling to string a sentence together, she’s a very noisy little cub when she’s happy, making little grunts, growls, and purrs to show her contentment.

🧸 Rhapsody isn’t big on candy when she’s regressed. For her, it’s all about fruit and salmon. And pancakes. She loves pancakes.

🧸 While Rhapsody is more of a metal head and a rock lover, she has a favorite song when she’s regressed: Bonnie’s Lullaby from FNAF 3. She has a mobile on her crib that plays the song when music is enabled.

🧸 Seeing that she’s a bear mobian, Rhapsody has quite a few bear cub behaviors when regressed. She play-bites to show nonverbal affection towards the people she trusts the most. (Gawain and Lancelot are the main people she does this with.)

🧸 Rhapsody has a tendency to act more feral/like an actual bear cub when she’s regressed to 3-6 months. One of these behaviors is that she’s scared of her own feet. Now, I’m not diving into the whole “What do mobian feet look like?” debate, but I will say that I think they look more human than animal. And because I recently showed off that mammal mobian’s have paw-like hands, when Rhapsody goes feral, she doesn’t recognize her feet as, well, her feet.

🧸 Adding to that last point, Rhapsody often thinks her feet are in bear traps when she’s feral and regressed. She’ll hiss at them, but she won’t touch or bite them.

🧸 When Rhapsody regresses to two months old or younger, she loses the ability to comprehend speech. She can still recognize tone, however, and responds to her caregiver’s voice similarly to how a dog would respond to their owner’s voice.

🧸 Rhapsody forgets some things when she’s deeply regressed. It’s not on purpose, she just has major baby brain. She’s forgotten that she and Gawain are a couple on a few occasions, but she always reacts extremely happily when she’s reminded of it.

🧸 When Gawain goes on solo missions and she regresses, Rhapsody struggles to eat. She’s simply so paranoid about Gawain (Is he sick? Is he hurt? When’s he gonna come back?), her appetite will completely disappear. Thankfully, Marcus (her secondary caregiver and adoptive father) has a simple solution to this, he simply video calls Gawain and Rhapsody eats right up,

🧸 When she learned that Marcus adopted her, Rhapsody got so excited she involuntarily regressed. Marcus didn’t mind this at all, even showing Gawain various tricks to help take care of her.

🧸 Rhapsody always forgets that Gawain an echidna when she regresses. In her regressed mind, she sees him as this big puppy who’s taking care of her. When she calls him “Puppy,” Gawain just melts.

🧸 Adding onto the last bit, the first time Marcus saw this happen, he nearly cried from how cute is was.

🧸 Rhapsody doesn't really walk when regressed. She prefers to be carried. If she has to walk, she'll either waddle or shuffle.

🧸 Rhapsody kneads/makes biscuits on Gawain’s back when regressed. It’s mainly instinctive.

🧸 She likes burying herself when little, whether that’s burying herself in blankets or attempting to bury her face in Gawain’s chest. It makes her feel safe.

[rivelu]

Heyy sorry for the random ask out of nowhere but i have no one to talk to and yeah um i'm gon be super blunt rn yes so i have such terrible gender dysphoria and i want a binder so bad but i dont think i'm in a position to even come out to anyone like it doesn't feel safe.. yet sometimes i just cannot bear the uncomfortable feeling and am this close to having a panic attack and i dunno what to do bout this..any advice for me..?

I'm sorry to hear that dysphoria really sucks

When I was still figuring things out and I wasn't quite ready to come out yet I followed a lot of trans help/advice blogs even if you don't actually end up sending them asks just reading the answered ones can be helpful (and they're probably way better at advice than me) and researching local queer support groups can be helpful too if you have the ability to take advantage of them

Having queer friends and family to talk to is also a great way to help too but I know it can be hard to make friends sometimes and not everyone has family members who are also queer

I followed a lot of other trans people as well there are many ways to be trans and seeing the diversity can make you feel less alone

As for the binder thing you don't actually have to come out necessarily in order to get one plenty of people wear them for different reasons (wearing binders for cosplay is a common one) if you dont want to come out you could always come up with some other excuse to give to nosy people and most places will give an option to get it shipped in discreet packaging if you really want to keep it a secret (always do research to make sure it's a safe one)

but if it's seriously unsafe even with that compression shirts are an option too they aren't as good as actual binders but it can still help (I used to wear one to swim before I got top surgery because it's dangerous to exercise in a binder) they also don't have as much of an association with being trans

Before my binder I would always wear a sports bra rather than a regular bra for me it helped me feel a little less conscious of my chest but that's just me (don't double up I know it can be tempting but binding like that is dangerous)

And pre transition layers were my best friend

Hoodies and vests do wonders for hiding your chest

Most of all its important to remember it won't always be this way eventually it'll get better I know that's a pretty basic thing to say but that doesn't make it any less true

I hope the dysphoria eases soon

Your gender is yours no matter what anyone says or whether or not you're out of the closet

I'm rooting for you✨️💕✨️

[coffeefromvoid]

Dysphoria vent ahead, stay safe y’all

it‘s not funny anymore. I want to surgery so bad it’s not even funny.

My chest dysphoria is getting so fucking overwhelming and I can’t even wear two sports bras instead of binding because my chest is too fucking big for that. I can wear the biggest hoodie i own and i still see my chest. It fucking sucks.

And i don’t want to overbind because i like my ribs where they are thank you very much.

But the worst part of all of this shit is that I really really want and need to talk to my mother about this. She has always supported me and we could always talk about everything.

Well almost everything because I haven’t come out to her as non binary yet and im scared. I just know that if i talk with her about my chest dysphoria i will feel better, but the times i tried she said that „when i turn 18 we can go get chest reduction surgery“ even though i specifically stated i want a double mastectomy.(i didn’t tell her i wanted top surgery since i found out what it was, i was 11, though)

She just brushed it off saying it reminds her of breast cancer patients and that we‘ll talk about this when im older. But im getting fucking desperate

And i just don’t know what to do except crying about it

[alixx-black]

2010-2023: A #BodyAppreciation & #BodyPositivity Post

I am 5’2” and weigh 248 lbs. I wear an XL shirt and size 18 jeans, size 2XL in leggings, and size 2 in professional pants. My shoe size in female sizing is a size 8 adult and my shoe size is male sizing is a size 6 children’s. My bra size is a 40DDD, and I usually buy hipster underwear in a size XL.

My blood work has me as far away from diabetes as I can be, and my healthy cholesterol is in perfect range every time I get my blood work done. Everything that is in my control, is always in the healthy and normal ranges.

The things that I am diagnosed with are independent of my weight. Sure, some of them might be less hard if I were smaller, but they wouldn’t be cured if I was half my size. The biggest change losing weight would award me besides more clothing options is that doctors would stop blaming my weight for everything when they meet me for the first time.

But I have never, ever been a tiny person. Growing up, my friends worse and shared their size 3 - 5 jeans, while I bounced between a size 8 and 10. Wearing even numbered jeans were for “fat girls.” When my peers rolled up their shorts, I kept tugging them down because my thighs rubbed together and it hurt. In elementary school, girls were stuffing their bras with tissue or getting padded bras, while I wore a sports bra over a regular one just to make my C-cups look flat. In the summer, my peers wanted to sport their barest bodies to show off how fit and thin they were. I got into arguments with my mom because I wanted to wear goth pants and hoodies.

By some miracle, I never developed body dysphoria. I never had unhealthy eating behaviors. I never struggled with the extremely damaging experience of an eating disorder. I had people, friends and family, comment about my breasts and weight. I was always given clothes that were too big or too small. My body was sexualized by everyone - and I do mean everyone.

In middle school, a friend told me I was too fat to have short hair. In high school, I was told nobody would ever be intimate with me because I had rolls and a double chin. My first employer told me I was too fat to work the register because he had to put the pretty girls up there so that customers came back to look at them. As an adult, I was told during a job interview that I almost wasn’t called in for it because my cleavage made me look to sexy for the brand.

I have fallen for the toxic beauty standards. I have body shamed people, and made comments about females being too sexy when it wasn’t my business. I have been the “I am not like other girls” and “one of the guys” brat that every friend group hates. By no means am I innocent in this strange world of our bodies being perceived as public property.

But I have also been someone else’s idea of beautiful. I have been someone’s else’s idea of fashion bravery. I have been someone else’s idea of strong. I have a body that has made others feel safer in theirs. I have made others want to be more free in their skin.

Sometimes I hate my body just like everyone else, but more than ever - I love this body for all I have put it through. I love what it has allowed me to do. Even when it doesn’t work right and leaves me crippled in bed, it keeps doing what bodies are meant to do - keep me alive.

Fat isn’t a bad word. Not in my house, not in my conversations. I encourage you to start changing the way you see your body and the way you describe it. These bodies have done a lot for us, and we should love them before anyone else gets to.

[residenttransguy]

Tips for passing

So I've seen some posts asking about passing tips beyond the typical, wear baggy clothes and printed shirts n stuff. Cuz while that might be helpful for some people, we all have different bodies, and what might work for some, won't for others.

Wear a binder if you are able to (not everyone has acces to a binder, or are able to bind at all due to medical conditions - never double bind, wear a too small binder or wear it for more than 8 hours) - while bigger chested trans guys might not be able to get their chest as flat as they'd like, it can still help a lot that it isn't as boob-shaped

Wear darker colors - might seem obvious, but darker colors make a major difference as it helps hide your figure

I personally prefer wearing hoodies over pretty much anything (this is both a sensory thing, dysphoria thing and personal style thing) as I feel they make me look more masc. And not just baggy hoodies, because that isn't always the way to go (I've experienced too baggy hoodies having the opposite effect actually) the hood in general is pretty good at giving a more masc look (weather it's over your head or lying on your shoulder (can make your shoulders look a bit more buff)) but the main thing i look for in a hoodie is where the seam connecting the sleeve to the body is. In a lot of baggy clothes it's about midway down your biceps or something like that. What you want is a seam at the shoulder (like a regular t-shirt would have) because this makes your shoulder look wider

Avoid skinny jeans if you have hip/thigh dysphoria. Looser fitting pants - especially ones made out of more stiff material (i typically wear hiking pants) - can make a real difference when it come to looking more masc.

Wear bigger shoes or boots. Seems like a weird one, but wearing more chonky footwear can make a person look more masc. Beside the added benefit of potentially being a smidge taller, a lot of people see bigger feet as a more masculine trait.

I think that's about all I have at the moment...

Remember that every body is different (regardless of AGAB) and that you already have a guy's body simply because you are one.

Find joy in the little things and experiment with your style and how you embody masculinity

You're perfect just the way you are king <3

[egbertsoyfacing]

June stop getting bonked by your friends!

==> did you know your godteir hoodie doubles a dysphoria hoodie?

[prof-polaris]

favorite: Does your OC have a favorite article of clothing or accessory? What is it? What's the meaning behind it? Do they wear it all the time or do they wear it sparingly to keep it safe?

hmm favorite clothes...

i have an old burgundy hoodie from my college days. i was an honors student so it has my college on it and honors decals on it. its a very comfy hoodie and it also double times as my ah "dysphoria hoodie" as they say. i also have a long flowy skirt that i like to wear, but i dont wear it often because people mistake me for a girl :/

as for things with symbolic meaning, i have a ring that used to belong to my grandfather that has the family crest on it. i usually wear it as a necklace because rings hurt my fingers, and it's less visible that way. i wear it all the time, except when i sleep or go in water.

[the-acer-scientist]

vent post please ignore. cw transphobia

sometimes I think there’s a way I can exist in my house peacefully and then my sibling and I get to chatting about gym goals and my dad decides to butt in about how a woman (mind you- neither of us are women) with muscles is disgusting and how “I could have sworn I raised you right but now you’re, what, a stupid fucking transsexual and you’re competing in worlds strongest man?”

also, the absolute irony of “what, is that the goal? to be a boy?”

Me, in a binder, dysphoria hoodie, men’s jeans, and with a ���can I combine trans tape and a binder” google search open on my phone: “pff no, all I said was I wanted to get stronger”

idk. just baffles me that he hasn’t noticed the binding, or the voice training, or the shutting down when I get she/herd too much, but talking about a haircut and going to the gym gets me almost clocked. the fact that i don’t want to conform to the male Fucking gaze. that’s what almost outs me.

I’m so Fucking sick of living in fear. I’m so fucking sick of living a double life. I’m so fucking sick of ricocheting from the joy of being seen and recognized to feeling so vile and stupid for thinking I’m so different

[thedysphoriadiaries]

Entry 29B - 15 March 2023, 5:24pm

Ler kuah. Ler kuah.

It's Hokkien for “Look at that”. A couple says that, while I'm on my way home.

I hurry past them, hoping they're not talking about me. In fact, I sure as hell hope they're not talking about me. I'm outside to collect my jar of desiccant for my guitar, and as per usual, I wear my hoodie and a pair of black shorts, with a sling bag slung around my left shoulder.

Well. It would have been usual, if it wasn't for the fact that I was stuffing beneath the hoodie and shirt. A small vestige of the padding shows in my chest, but I am able to hide it by strategically shifting my hoodie about.

Maybe the people saw me as some lunatic, or something, or maybe they just thought I was weird. But who cares?

...

I stare at the bucket of soapy water in which I soak my undergarments, and the foam inserts I normally stuff with. I stir them around, before squeezing the foam inserts and my bra while they lie in the water. In that moment, I am all too aware of my own masculine anatomy, and I can't help but feel like a man who's trying to masquerade as a woman. I still feel that way now, and I wonder if this is the right thing to do.

Now I begin to understand the fear that one of the trans women I talked to felt when she had to literally sneak herself into handicapped toilets to present as who she was.

God only knows how deep into her dysphoria she was to have to do something like that.

I could live as a man. The desire to be a girl is there (same thing as I want to be a girl, but I am not one), but, as far as I'm concerned, I could live as a guy. A lonely one, but still, I'd be able to live as one.

The way I'm going about it now, I'm essentially living a double life, presenting as a girl in private. My dad doesn't know. I don't know how he'll react. I can't keep this up, for the sake of my own sanity.

...

What do I do with the envy and the desire to be a girl, then? I hate how it makes me target the women around me, including my immediate family. It is something I need to deal with, and, I don't know how to do it, other than isolating myself.

I've kinda recently decided that no matter what I do, I'll either commit 100% to it, or not do it at all.

...

On a side note, I think I pushed myself way too far out of my own comfort zone today. I shouldn't have done that, knowing how much I fear the judgement of the people around me.

It still kinda hurt to be called a boy (and I still don't want to be seen as one), but...

Given all the deadnaming, the self-directed anger, the fear, and the resistance (from myself and others), I guess that's my life now. I... just gotta accept that I'll be envious of girls and the things they do, for the foreseeable future.

I'm just too fucking scared to do anything, even if it's for my own good. I hated spouting that stuff to my counsellor (a general counsellor). It felt wrong. Shameful, almost, to say that I wanted to be a girl (because I shouldn't want to be one; it's not the norm and I'm literally unable to function properly around certain women), but... I guess I'll try to leave it behind. Not like I'll ever be one.

...

what else, then, is wrong with my mind? the uncertainty is what scares me.

...

if you're reading this, just... leave me alone. I'll talk when I'm ready. Let me grieve for a life that I'll never have. Let me think that there's something wrong with me.

I'll talk when I'm ready. Goodbye.

[anendoandfriendo]

Which one of us??? Inworld or outerworld?? :0 We ran into this at random fwiw.

Anyways, a progression of events and time:

There wasn't an option for just. Like. A single pony or bun, but we hate our hair being super long so we wear it in a bun, a lot, since we can't get haircuts more than once a year generally.

Anywaysss, we don't remember our hair being that pale when we were in middle school/late elementary school, but we found this old photo and — ugh, we guess it was that light. We weren't a whole lot happier then compared to now but we also did not realize that we were going to be abused by a stepmother back then and tried our best to ignore/forget seclusion room stuff. We pretty much fought unfairness every turn here up to and including our teachers' ableism even if we didn't have the words back then, so we got sooo much shit then. We had two main fronters at that point, we have discussed that quite often and do not wish to do that here. Although if you look closely at the eyes we've always been a little dead inside until like, university sksk.

Second picture is vaguely how we remember being in highschool/late middle school, because at that point we had decided to ourselves we would get out of [REDACTED] and we were putting all of our energy into that, you know, and we were still fighting people constantly. We had AP lang/lit and several honors classes but by this point we were starting to realize we had self-inflicted and other-inflicted math trauma because we were supposed to be good at everything (we still are damnit, fuck you if you think we aren't...they taught us in the wrong environment and now we can't win in ANY WAY AT ALL because we either "aren't a mather" or we "learn later than everyone else" so we will just...end this here before we throw ourselves into another flashback, yay) so there's a lot to unpack there. We also started questioning if we are an endogenic system** back then as well as if we are genderfluid back then, even if we didn't have words for both of those, so looking back on it the dysphoria was hitting really hard with the long hair especially. We had hints of this in middle school but as escape from [REDACTED] got closer and closer it just kept hitting worse and worse lol. Some cashier at the clothes store noted we "looked cuter," with our baseball cap backwards here we think, when we had our hair cut into a bob once and we'd asked what looked better, forwards or backwards. This just so happened to correlate with what made us happier, so we don't think this is a coincidence. We were also doing a lot of pro-neurodiversity work even if we had no clue that's what it was back then. We would wear winter coats up until the summer in a school made of limestone with no air conditioning and not have any clue why we didn't want to take it off and a friend's implicit challenge of "you're going to die of a heat stroke," essentially gave us a reason to do it. We're here so, obviously, we did not die of a heat stroke.

Universityyyyy!!! The mother always offered to cut our hair just before we came back to school during breakssss, so we ALWAYS got a super cool haircut (that we would have to get cut again the next break 😭). We don't have very much to say about this one. We finally discovered the words to what we were looking for (endogenic system, queer), lots of euphoria especially around the first term endogenic. Still wearing a lot of coats and hoodies but less of that later on as we worked towards our double BA. :)

Ooo lookie, it's NOW. We're v. happy but still struggle quite a lot. Uhhh we wear our hair in buns a lot still but wish we could cut our hair short. We actually wanna go out and do it today but like we would have to wash our hair and get our of our pj's and that's...not gonna happen lolsob. Maybe in an hour or so but if not we can't/won't. We actually kind of like ourselves enough to wear t-shirts now but we hate tight-fitting clothes for autism reasons on top of gender reasons. We wish we weren't mistaken as a girl so much to be honest because we're nonbinary at least — sooo many xenogenders for different individuals in our system, some of us are even literal men. We would love to like, have our bewbs* and not change anything at all so when people call us ma'am we can go "Man? What's up? You said man right not ma'am?" and that's probably the reason everyone who is actually good in our body's family agrees we are the most likely to be stabbed or arrested in public one day. We've always just been annoyingly transgressive in the most contradictory way possible, which is and probably always will be weaponized respectability/politeness. We do not do respectability politics and so we turn it on its head constantly and have definitely pissed off multiple transphobes with it. XD

*This picrew only seems to have one body type, unless we missed something. We have always had bewbs.

** For those confused: we do not agree with every single thing on endogenichub.weebly.com but it's a good place to start. If you've met one system you've met one, that includes endos like us.

Picrew challange: yourself as a kid vs now

[Please do not trauma dump on the post this time thank you]

[norathecobbler]

Jenny 10 AU

Using the omnitrix to explode Malware caused burns up her forearm, almost like how you see in lightning victims. She tells people she touched a power line on accident. When she regains the omnitrix, it mostly covers them, but the scars still appear on alien forms (similar to the broken arm in UA). Albedo also has the scars, but when his form is corrupted they turn stark white.

Jenny normally covers up with a hoodie that's similar in design to the Omniverse hoodie, but in the UAF green and black.