#the holidays are kinda rough for me these days so i apologize for the lateness

[attaboy-art]

happy halloween!

[Image ID: A colored digital drawing of, from left to right, a grown up Flora Reinhold, young Katrielle and Alfendi Layton, and Hershel Layton, all in halloween costumes and walking together. Flora and Hershel are both drawn as black. Flora is dressed as a mad scientist and she is bending down to hold Katrielle's hand, who is dressed as a black cat. Alfendi is behind them, crossing his arms with a blank expression on his face, and is dressed in black formal wear with a pair of red bat wings and devil horns. Hershel walks behind them all with his hands in his pockets, dressed as a vampire. Katrielle and Alfendi are both holding jack-o-lantern shaped candy buckets. Behind them is a solid grayish purple background and a diagonal line representing the ground./.End ID.]

[0kayblue]

Choices

Choices 

A drunken kiss, unspoken feelings, and a nasty argument leaves Leon in a cracked state. Painfully stuck in the crossroads of realization that nothing is going to get better until he starts talking and actively takes the steps to come to terms with his past and his disjointed emotions. 

Word count: Almost 5k (not throughly proof read)

Angst. Language. Gun mentioned. Drinking mentioned. Happy ending. Partners to friends to lovers? The timeline is a little funky so let me explain: the events of Raccoon City take place in 2004 and that places this story towards the start of 2011.

A/N: Long time no see, huh? Things got heavy and they got heavy fast. Between vacation, moving, and the holidays; I’ve kinda fallen off the face of the planet. But it is what it is and I’m back for a minute or two. 

As far as requests are concerned I’m working on them, but I get distracted with other ideas. My google doc is full of rough outlines and unfinished works in progress. I don’t have any idea when things will come out, they just will. I apologize, but damn, life is stressful. 

Anyway, I hope you all are having a lovely day, week, month, and year. Please enjoy!!

“Hey. . .” Leon starts, his voice low and like gravel with uncertainty. A sense of deprecating self-consciousness following in the silence, before he lets out a frustrated huff. “You didn’t pick up, not that I’m surprised. . .but still, it hurts.” He admits as his grip on his phone grows tighter before it loosens and a conflicted sigh leaves him. 

“I’m. . .sorry.” He struggles with the apology as he shuts his eyes and another exasperated sigh leaves him, “Truly, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did and I shouldn’t have pointed the finger at you. It’s not your fault and it never has been. I need you to know that, I need you to know that I know how I’ve been acting lately is stupid and. . .” He stops as he opens his eyes and looks around the dim space of his empty living room, the loneliness of this moment threatening to swallow him whole. The numbing silence of the room mixed with the silence on the other end of the phone became too much to handle causing him to swallow the confession on the tip of his tongue. 

He licks the dryness from his lips as his other hand goes to massage his forehead in a stiff and irritated manner. He sucks his teeth as his hand falls while he lets out a disheartened sigh as the words fall from his lips, “I can’t do this without you here.” He admits with frustrated sorrow, “I need to see you. I need you to look at me. I need you to. . .I just need you.” 

The static of the other empty line cuts through silence like a rusted combat knife through brittle sheet metal. Leon’s lips part for another sigh to escape him, but it never does. The air stays lodged in his throat before he painfully swallows. 

“Look,” The word came out dry and somewhat short, before he clears his throat. “I’ve got some things I have to deal with, but if you could come over just for a moment—or at least call me back– it doesn’t have to be tonight; but sometime.” He can’t stop it from sounding like a desperate ramble; a plea for your silence to be broken.

“I don’t know when I’ll be back, but it probably won’t be until the early hours of the morning so if you could just at least call me back tonight. Let me know you’re okay. You don’t have to give me any other information and I won’t ask, I just want to make sure you’re okay.” He explains softly, biting his tongue to keep himself from making the accusations that scream at him. 

He opens his mouth to say more, to at least say ‘bye’; but he can’t, so he pulls the phone away from his ear and he ends the call. A frustrated grunt leaving him as he peers down at your contact photo, his gaze softening as he studies the smile on your face. The photo one that he cherishes with every heart string he has; a moment he was able to capture without you knowing. The rarity of being able to capture a genuine smile on your face. He recalls the day fondly and for a moment a smile curls at his lips until he eyes glance at the time in the top left corner of the thin device. He locks his phone as he stands from the loveseat you often perched yourself in whenever you were over, the seat cushion practically molded to only sit your frame comfortably. 

Putting the phone in his pocket he makes his way through the kitchen and to the door that leads to the garage; grabbing his car keys from the key hooks by the door and opening the garage door. 

The dark of night not holding its usual tranquility as the earthy smell of the heavy rain floods his nostrils. It’s eerily fitting given his current circumstances and it makes his skin crawl slightly as he gets into the driver seat and starts the car. Putting the car in reverse he backs out of the garage, his ears starting to ring slightly as the quietness of the night floods the car. A slight scoff leaves him as he goes to shut the garage door and he heads north towards his destination. 

—------------------------------------------------------------

Leon drives for hours in silence trying to put his head together. Trying to string together what exactly he wants to say while also remaining focused on the road ahead. All his thoughts scattered and disorganized; any sense of pulling it together immediately wiped out whenever his phone buzzed. A thin line of hope is always shattered when he glances at it and it’s just another notification about god knows what. It didn’t matter and he didn’t care because it was never your name on the screen. 

It felt as if you were playing this silent treatment thing as if your life depended on it and it was killing him. Suffocating him. Each ping brings him above the tidal wave for just a moment before being dragged back under by the force of the freezing crisp waves. He could almost taste the bitter salt water with each defeated sigh of disappointment. 

His glare on the road sharpens as he sees the abandoned gas station, slows, and makes the sharp right turn into the parking lot. The sound of stray gravel gritting against the tread of the tires as the car reaches its destination, Leon on the other hand still has another hour until he reaches his. 

A single unmarked cruiser awaiting him parked perfectly in between two faded and barely visible white lines. He parks his own car a couple spots away from the cruiser before he shuts it off and steps out of the car, grabbing his phone and keys sliding them into his back pocket as he takes calculated steps to the cruiser. The rain only becomes more intense as he tries not to be affected by the cold laced into every drop that hits him, soaking his clothes slightly. 

“Should’ve brought an umbrella.” He mutters to himself as he opens the driver’s side door of the cruiser and gets in. He shakes slightly in an effort to get any excess water off before running a hand through his damp hair, the water slicking it back for just a moment before his bangs fall back into place. 

He leans over the center console and gets into the glove compartment on the passenger’s side. A single car key and a beretta 92fs pistol sit exactly where they were supposed to be. He opts for the cool metal of the hand gun as he picks it up and inspects the weapon briefly, leaving the safety on before he sets it in the passenger seat. He then takes the car key and starts the car, whereas his car was quiet the cruiser engine debates on whether or not to come to life and he almost took it as a sign to give up despite not being a superstitious man; but he digresses as the old cruiser decides that Leon is worth the ride. 

Just as he goes to put the car in reverse his phone pings and he immediately takes his hand from the gear shift and fishes for it with a grunt from his back pocket. A moment of relief leaves him as this time the contact that greets him is yours. Quick to unlock the phone he is greeted with a text of only one word:

 ‘Maybe.’ 

“Maybe?” He grumbles, “What the hell does that even mean?” He asks no one but himself and yet is met with the low rumble of the cruiser’s transmission. Before really thinking he goes and types a reply, staring at the message with a puzzled expression. 

‘Maybe what exactly?’ 

Surprisingly he barely moved before he got a reply.

‘Just maybe.’

He takes in a deep breath before letting it out in a shaky manner. Stubborn, you were always so stubborn. Of course he was too, but he was the one actively trying not to be this time. He was the one trying to get you to open up and not the other way around. Trying to get you to communicate with him, trying to get you to be vulnerable with him, trying to repair the rift between the two of you.

‘Can I get more than maybe?’

‘Please.’ 

He knows it’s his fault. He understands that regardless of how you left he still hurt you and you still had every right to be upset with him. Neither of you made anything official, never committed to anything, and he was a fool to think that a drunk kiss meant that his feelings were reciprocated and defined you both as an unit. He should have known that your avoidance of him the next day meant that something was off, but he convinced himself that you understood everything. That you knew everything he’s wanted to say for months. So, when he was informed of you being around someone who clearly was no good for you; he snapped.

‘I’ll be by.’

It wasn’t much, but it was something. A crumb that would subside the ache he felt. He lets out a sigh of relief as a small and soft smile finds his face. It was confirmation to him that he hasn’t lost you completely. He hadn’t lost you. 

‘When?’ 

‘Tonight. Please.’

He stares at the screen waiting for a reply he doubts he will get; so he isn’t surprised as agonizing seconds turn into minutes. Glancing at the time he knows he needs to move, and he will. Just a minute more. 

A minute passes, then two, and still no reply. He runs a hand through his hair before it finds the steering wheel, gripping it with force. Trying to let out some of the agitation he felt in the least harmful way possible. He tosses the phone into the passenger seat before taking his leave. 

—------------------------------------------------------------

Leon pulls up to the agreed upon meeting spot, the headlights of the cruiser reflecting off of the multiple ‘WARNING’ and ‘DANGER’ signs. All signs informing the public to stay clear of the abandoned wreckage that was the nightmare that started his adult life. 

He clenched his teeth as he parks the cruiser and before killing the engine he scrutinizes the rusted, faded, and graffitied sign that read: 

‘Welcome to Raccoon City

Home of Umbrella’

He can’t help the cold unforgiving glare that hardens his features as he stares intensely at that damn sign. A sign that he once was looking forward to seeing, a sign that was supposed to harken in a new beginning for him. A chapter of his life that he never got to write the way he intended too. 

He forces himself to look away as he kills the engine. All that anger and contempt in every movement he makes; the emotions barely subtle as he grabs the pistol and makes his leave from the cruiser. Uncleaned debris crunching under the harsh step of his sturdy weight. The former storm subsided to a gentle drizzle. As if the weather was deciding to be gentle towards him, to be kind as he faced the location of so much of his trauma. Dulled screams and flashbacks of all the things he saw that night flashing throughout every corner of his brain. He grits his teeth as he slams the door of the cruiser shut, the heavy bang ceasing the noise. The memories. 

He keeps his focus trained ahead as he strides closer to the steel chain fencing with sturdy steps, the dim yellow light from aged street lights illuminating his path with a dull hum. Unclenching his jaw he puts the pistol into the tight waistband of his jeans as he starts to climb the rusted fence that murmurs whines underneath the weight of his body. 

Getting to the top he throws one leg over before deciding to make the jump to the other side. A grunt leaves him as the soles of his shoes make contact with the pitch black pavement, a sharp yet brief pain shooting up his legs. Standing up straight he pulls the pistol from his waistband, shuts the safety off, and proceeds forward. Acutely aware of his surroundings as his stomach starts to turn and bile threatens to creep up his throat. 

Luckily he doesn’t have to travel far as the person he is set to meet waits in the shadows, the click of her heels against the damp pavement making Leon fully aware of her presence as he points the gun at her out of fear. It isn’t until she steps closer that he lowers his weapon. 

“Leon.” Ada says as she looks at him intently. Giving him a once over before she speaks again, “Someone is jumpy, I see.” 

“Yeah, well, it’s the location.” Leon says as he stands up straight, his shoulders remaining tense. Ada nods in a sense of understanding. 

“You went through it to track me down and I’ll admit I’m impressed; but I have to ask: why?” Ada’s voice is smooth and low, clearly guarded. 

“There’s something I have to talk to you about. Something I need to address.” He admits. 

Ada studies him, the tension he carries nearly slapping her across the face; and she knows all the blame can’t just be put on the location. The rubble on the street is a physical representation of the crumbs of trust that was shared between the two of them. 

“So, then why go through the trouble?” She inquires, her brow raising slightly, “I’m certain whatever it is you are here to-.” 

“No, I need you to hear what I have to say.” He says cutting her off. Clearly uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and direct with her; this whole situation reeking of a rotten smell that they could practically taste. 

“Different.” She simply states, very different from their previous meeting six months prior in the rural misty mountainous region of Spain. A change that was lost on her is now clearly present. It’s rough, jagged; and not something she is used to when it comes to him. 

The two stare at each other in silence, trying to piece each other together. A clear lack of communication ringing out into the night, something that wasn’t uncommon between the two. 

“Do you-.” Leon starts but suddenly stops the question in its tracks. He knew the answer and it was pointless to even ask; so he opts for the next question, “Why didn’t you try and reach out?” 

The question takes Ada aback and it shows physically as her eyes widen just slightly before returning to that uncaring gaze. She ponders on how to approach this. On what to say. Coming up short she decides not to say anything regarding the subject; so she changes it. 

“Is this about them?” She asks and immediately Leon plants his feet. Knowing that her them meant you; and the feeling didn’t settle well in his bones. His teeth gritted together as his jaw locked. Yet, the fact of the matter remained: she was partly right. 

“It is, isn’t it.” Ada states as she crosses her arms, a sense of pride finding her as she figured him out so quickly. 

“And if it is?” Leon asks, hoping in vain to throw her off the scent by playing this with a harsh coyness. 

“You’re still hung up over a kiss?” Ada asks, the question slipping from her lips without thinking. A rarity from her, so much so that it takes her aback as the harshness of her words hits Leon with a pang of disappointment. 

“That’s not what I’m hung up on.” Leon answers, bitterness clinging to each word, “I’m hung up on the fact that after everything I—everything we—went through you didn’t even try to tell me you survived that fall. That you survived and you didn’t bother to at least leave me something to show you were still alive; and don’t even try and say you couldn’t find me. You could have. Easily.” His voice grew stronger with every word he spoke, his conflicting emotions present in each syllable. 

Ada is stunned by his candor, the hurt that she caused him present leaving her baffled and grasping for straws. He was being raw here, he was showing her his cards that he held so tightly to his chest. 

“That night was the ending to so much. That night—to me— was an unimaginable horror I was not prepared to face; and you…you were right there. You knew so much more than I did and you remained cryptic.” Leon states with a defeated and heavy breath, “It’s easy to direct my anger there; but I know that’s not where it belongs. That isn’t where my heart places it, even though it probably should be because you played it like a fiddle; but that’s not it. Not the way you used me. Manipulated me. What it is in all honesty is the fact that I couldn’t save you. That you slipped from my grip, but yet you still cling to me.” 

Silence falls between the two again, but this time it’s different. It’s not a burden even though it remains heavy.  

“So you tracked me down to tell me this?” 

“I tracked you down so you can let me go.”

The statement left Leon in one breath as he looked at her with a softness to his eyes. A vulnerability in his gaze that swallowed Ada whole. The lack of light behind his eyes shadowing her in a darkness she never expected to feel from him. Her own emotions are becoming hard to keep in check, as her insides start to simmer with an almost forgotten feeling. 

The silence clings to their clothes as the night time air becomes lodged in Leon’s throat. Nearly choking him as he examined Ada intently, trying to guess her next move. Trying to put himself in her shoes long enough to figure out what she might be thinking; but all of this was so foreign. So he retreated back into his own head and just decided it was best to let her move from here. He decided it was best to just stop; and that decision flooded his body with relief. His jaw relaxing, his shoulder falling slightly, his knees no longer locked; the utter relief he felt just voicing how he felt was something he least expected.

“Okay.” Ada said, breaking the silence. This newfound development changed something in her that she couldn’t pinpoint. Something half of her refused to pinpoint. This growth she sees from him changes her perception of him. 

“Okay.” Leon repeats with a small nod as the subtle rain drops that have been hitting him start to increase. They stand in a tense awkward silence as the wind starts to pick up and begin to howl a broken howl that wavered like a gasped sob. Leon turns to leave before the rain starts to heavily pour again, but the question that falls from Ada causes him to stop. 

“Are you doing this all for them?” She asks, crossing her arms. While Leon looks at her with confliction, still not pleased with her need to keep you in the conversation. 

“Not completely.” He answers; and that is the truth. He needed this for himself, he knew that; but it would be a lie if you didn’t inspire him to take the leap. That you didn’t assure him that he didn’t have to constantly be fighting this inner turmoil, that he could form some type of peace with it; and most importantly that he didn’t have to do it alone. He deserved to care for himself, something he never considered until he felt the gentle warmth of your care. 

“I’d prefer if you would leave them out of it.” Leon says, a protective pitch in his tone that packed a subtle bite. It didn’t catch her off guard, it was him she was dealing with; and she knew that regardless of the strengths she had briefly seen from you in Spain that Leon would still be protective of you. 

So, Ada just nods, turns, and takes her leave,“Goodbye, Leon.” Ada says as Leon watches her walk back towards what he assumed was her entry point was located. 

As her form disappears into the black of night Leon lets out a deep breath with a slight shake of his head; his limbs heavy from the strain of the stress he carried in them.

“Goodbye, Ada.” 

———————————————————--------------------------

It was nearly four in the morning when Leon pulled into his garage. Your vehicle was nowhere in his line of sight as he pulled up to his house. Not that he was surprised, your answer was just a maybe, and he didn’t want you to push yourself out of the realms of something you weren’t comfortable doing just yet. At least he let you know that you weren’t ignoring him completely and that was enough for the time being. 

He shuts off the car as an exhausted sigh leaves him while his hand runs down his face. His head starts to gently pound as he pinches the bridge of his nose. The emotional rollercoaster he has been on starts to churn his stomach, reminding him why he didn’t bother with this stuff for so long in the first place. It hurt. Everywhere. 

He closes the garage as he gets out of the car and makes his way inside. Placing his keys back on the hook, kicking off his shoes, and starting to remove his jacket he stops as he hears the muffled sound of a sitcom laugh track coming from the living room. His chest swells with hope as he quickly disregards his jacket and shoes and with large gentle strides he makes his way into the living room. His heart nearly stops when he sees you asleep on the couch. 

Stopping in his tracks he watches the soft rise and fall of your chest, you were completely and utterly lost in what he hoped was a peaceful slumber. Your arms tucked close to your chest. Your hair fanned out over the couch cushion and the arm of the couch. He fought back how he wanted to run his hand through your hair. How tempting it looked, how he knew nothing brought you more comfort than the feeling of gentle fingers working their way through your hair. He wanted to do that for you, he wanted to comfort you. He wants to give you whatever your heart desires. 

His breath hitches in his throat as he carefully sits on the edge of one of the couch cushions. His heart swells with so much love that it is overwhelming and for the first time within all of this his eyes start to glass over. Tears threatening to spill as a shaky hand slowly makes contact with the warmth of your scalp. His fingers intertwined with your hair as his thumb gingerly brushes the top of your head and a small breath of relief leaves him as he watches your body relax. He stifled a sob with a scoff as a smile found his face while he fixed his gaze on you. The person he holds the most dear. The person he would do whatever it took to just have by his side. 

A craving to show you the utmost love and affection, a craving to care for you so much deeper than what the two of you already had. He hoped with everything that you wanted more. That the ghost of your past hadn’t swallowed you up. That you would choose him. 

He finally sniffs, the sound of distress pulling you from sleep as your eyes open and find his piercing blue ones glassy with tears. You move to sit up as even in your groggy state your arms wrap around him to comfort him.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” You coo as your torso presses against him while one hand rubs his back and the other makes its way into his hair as you rest your chin in the crook of his neck. “It’s okay.” You soothe while Leon takes in a strangled breath his arms wrapping tightly around you as he pulls you into his lap. 

“You came.” He utters, his voice breaking slightly. 

“You called.” You answer softly. 

Leon’s grip on you tightens as he buries his head in the crook of your neck, fresh hot thick tears starting to roll down his face. You gently mumble sweet reassurances as you rub his back, allowing him to cry, allowing him to let go of all the shit he has been holding onto. The fight. The end. The struggle. He’s letting go of all of it as he keeps a firm hold on you, clinging to you as if his life depended on it. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed anything and I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you for- for being with them. I- I shouldn’t have yelled. I should have told you how I felt. I should have-.” He chokes out his apology, the saltiness of his tears finding the pallet of his tongue.

“Shh, Leon, it’s okay.” You coo rubbing his back, “Don’t force yourself to speak when you aren’t ready. Take your time.” He fists the soft fabric of your shirt as he wonders what he ever did to know the comfort of your patience. 

As Leon begins to calm down his grip on you loosens, his breathing returning to normal as his chest no longer hitches with quiet sobs. You feel him start to relax and in turn your body loses its own stiffness. You continue to hold him to you, trailing the tips of your nails gingerly up and down a patch of his back. You had no idea where Leon had been, but whatever he did has obviously left him worse for wear. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask in a quiet whisper, concern ever present in your soft voice; and Leon can’t help himself.

“I love you.” He responds as he places a strong hand in between your shoulder blades keeping you pressed against him as he screws his eyes shut trying to commit this moment to memory. The feeling of your body pressed flush against his, the addictive pleasant scent of your perfume, the soft gentle flesh of your neck pressed against the scratch of his stubble. 

“I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have yelled. I should have talked to you directly. I should have seen everything.” He says as he regretfully pries himself away from you to look at you fully, his hands moving to cup your cheeks and hold your face gently in the palms of his hands. He watches the gears in your head start to turn through sparkling big doe eyes and his heart starts to melt. The realization that he wasn’t the only one that needed improvements becoming ever present as he brushes the side of his thumb over your cheek. 

“I love you and I am unbelievably sorry. Please, please, don’t shut me out.” He pleads as he studies your face, noting the way your bottom lip quivered ever so slightly. 

You both sit there in silence as he admires the sad beauty that are your features in this moment. He allows you to just sit there and feel, and think, and breathe. With all the patience in the world he waits for you. 

“I love you too.” You finally say quietly, the words falling from your lips in a hesitancy before you speak up again; but with more strength and convection, “I love you too.” 

A soft wide smile finds Leon’s face as he brings your lips to his in a soft, but desperate and passionate kiss. The taste of your lips are so much sweeter without the bitter taste of alcohol on them. Your arms snaking their way around his neck as you kiss him back the way you wanted to the first time he kissed you. His hands move to your waist to pull you closer to him as his tongue ghosts over your bottom lip. 

You part your lips allowing him access to explore the warmth of your mouth while crooking your head to the side as his tongue makes its way into your mouth. His tongue runs briefly over your teeth before it coils with your own and he sucks slightly causing a deep moan to reverberate from your chest and up your throat. 

The sound causes a smirk to curl at the corner of his lips as he parts from you regardless of how badly he wants to continue. He couldn’t help it, he had to see you; and the sight was worth it. The blissful peace on your face as you opened your eyes to look at him was worth it. A smile plastered on his face as he noted the tiredness in your eyes, the slight bags underneath them, and his hand finds your cheek as he places a kiss on your forehead. 

“Let's save the rest for tomorrow, okay? Let’s get you to bed.” He says as he moves to pick you up bridal style. He stands from the couch as your grip around him tightens as he makes his way to his bedroom.

“Leon.” You scold him slightly, but with no real seriousness to it. 

“Tomorrow.” He assures with a little nod, a playful smirk on his face. 

“Tomorrow.” You repeat with a little roll to your eyes.

[purpleshybear01]

FNAF x Scary godmother Halloween special

Hey guys and I wanted to apologize for the wait and late time posting for Halloween that I tried to finish it. It's because from last month I kinda have a little rough time for a bit, but I'm doing okay now and I just got back inactive of drawing and working on some more stuff, but anyways I'm gonna make it a talk about this drawing here that this drawing is from my favorite Halloween movie where I watch it from childhood (I still watch when it comes to Halloween month) where it used to stream in cartoon network during the Halloween time season Scary godmother and there's a sequel with it. And everytime I watched both of the movies and I always thinking and wanted to draw between Five nights at Freddy's and scary godmother like a au Halloween fanart drawing when I was in middle school. Now I finally did it and finally I can showed it to you guys all (I really wanted to draw more fnaf x scary godmother fanart, but I didn't had enough time, but I think this is good enough, but if one of you guys want more just let me know) and I have nothing say rest here. So I did my best on it and I hope you guys like it, comment and follow me for the support and thank you guys for all of your support and stuff. All of you guys are awesome and I hope you have a wonderful day and stay safe and I hope all of you have a lovely holidays coming and I'll see you guys later, bye.👍✌️👋💜♥️💖❤️‍🔥💕

[windwheeler-aster]

your secret admirer 

summary: you’ve been on the receiving end of many anonymous love letters for a while now. they’re very sweet, of course, and make you quite confident after reading them. but there’s something on your mind each time you read or reread these love letters. who exactly is writing them to you?

masterlist

pairings (separate): ningguang, keqing, zhongli, beidou, xinyan, yanfei, hu tao, ganyu, shenhe, yun jin, xiao, and baizhu x reader

reader info: gender neutral pronouns (they/them), reader’s relationship with characters is vague, and reader is not traveler

word count: 4,065 words (average of 388 words per character)

genre: romance, fluff, confession

format: headcanons 

warnings: open-ended confessions, anonymous letters, swearing, alcohol consumption mention, oblivious-ish reader, funeral parlor coupon jokes, hu tao being a match maker, and L-word dropped a lot

a/n: i do hope that everyone’s valentine’s day went okay. this holiday always makes me feel lonely and stuff, and i know others feel the same way. so, i wanted to be self indulgent for once! i apologize profusely if these felt out of character at all💖 (p.s. these are all open ended because... yes💖)

ningguang felt like she was too important to fall in love 

her title and presence is intimidating enough, and her attitude can come off as cold and harsh to those outside her inner circle

still, she’s always reserved this special kindness towards you; a total stranger, technically

which has defiantly gained some unwanted attention, but ningguang was sure to make it disappear with one side-eyed glance

ningguang didn’t realize until it was too late that she cared deeply for you

and now she’s kinda stuck on what to do with these feelings

she tried telling you, but at the last moment she chickened out. she’s lucky that you’re too dense oblivious to have notice anything wrong

but her feelings seep into her work

suddenly the very important work documents she needs to read AND respond to are boring compared to the light scribbling she does on a spare piece of paper

the light scribbling in question? a rough draft of a random love letter addressed to you. 

it’s in that moment that ningguang realizes that this was how she was going to get her feelings out

and damn it, she did it flawlessly 

each letter is so wonderful to read, always filled with compliments that make your heart skip a beat 

though, your curiosity of who keeps sending these letters is eating you right up. ningguang (or WHOEVER has been sending you love letters *cough cough*) has made it ridiculously hard for you to trace the letters back to you

...or so she thought until you come storming into the jade chamber, demanding an audience with ningguang, CLUTCHING FOR DEAR LIFE onto a familiar letter with a sleep deprived look in your eyes

did... did you spend all night figuring this all out...??? ningguang is not so secretly swooning

before you’re flung off the side of the jade chamber for disturbance of the peace, ningguang approves of your request and shoos everyone else out 

why did she have to fall for someone so bold?? you know EXACTLY why ninggaung

nonetheless, she’s quick to smooth everything over

“I don’t know if I should be more scared or impressed that you caught me. Actually, I’d love to hear how exactly you found out I was behind the letters. Maybe a more private discussion over dinner would be more suitable?”

keqing tried her absolute best not to fall for you

she already had a lot on her plate as the yuheng. keqing doesn’t have time for romance and lovey dovey love letters.

but as the saying goes, the heart wants what the heart wants

she just can’t stop herself from blushing and stuttering in your presence, its almost impossible to calm down next to someone so intelligent and attractive

so, on an evening when she was alone and not burdened by her work, keqing hesitantly wrote a love letter

she was tired of longing after you and decided to just bite the bullet already and process these feelings her way

it wasn’t a horrible experience, she noted. it was actually quite amusing to imagine how you would react to each word she wrote

she was even proud of herself for actually writing such a nice letter. it’s a shame that she’ll just store it away, never to be seen again. unless...

now writing love letters to you anonymously has become a part of her new routine before bed oops

eventually, keqing managed enough courage to deliver the letters. yes, all of them. (in a neat little box with your name signed nicely on top btw)

however, she was absolutely NOT prepared for you to open the door just as keqing placed the package on your welcome mat

“...lady keqing? what are you-” “this is a dream!” “what?” “you’re dreaming! goodbye, have a good dream!” 

she is so embarrassed. keqing doesn’t want to leave her house at all, out of fear of you confronting her with the love letters

but she eventually drags herself out to see you, finally biting the bullet (properly)

“I don’t make time for people out of the blue often, so listen up. I like you, alright? I’d really like to get to know you better and spend more time with you. ...Would you be interested in that too?”

honestly, zhongli didn’t want the letters to be anonymous

he’s always tempted to just scribble down his signature at the bottom of each letter and send it away before he can regret it

but zhongli restrains himself from doing so

mostly because his letters can be a lot, and he doesn’t want to risk scaring you away

however, if he keeps using hu tao to deliver the letters it might just happen

mostly because it makes it obvious to everyone (except you, apparently) that zhongli is the one behind all the love letters

and also because hu tao is just way too happy when she delivers the love letters, along with some “couple’s discount” coupons. hu tao come on

hu tao is so invested in this secret romance, btw

she doesn’t always read the love letters... but it’s more often than not that your love letters come to you pre-opened

hu tao can’t help it!! it’s just so sweet and she thinks knows how you feel about zhongli

so it wouldn’t hurt if she just edited the letters slightly and dropped zhongli’s name, right? HU TAO NO

after he deals with hu tao himself, zhongli calms himself down and finds you as soon as possible

maybe he still has a chance, maybe you haven’t read the letter yet, maybe there’s still hope-

nope. he sees you coming right around the corner, letter in hand with a flustered face, and only speeding up when your eyes land on his

zhongli wants to act like this was one of hu tao’s infamous pranks, but he just can’t lie to your face like that

so, he comes clean 

“I wrote the letters. They weren’t a cruel prank at all, my feelings are genuine and true. I... I really do like you. All I hope is that you reciprocate the same feelings for me.” 

beidou, the uncrowned captain of the seas and slayer of its residents, was head over heels in love with you

she actually wrote you love letters, anonymously of course, and sent them to you every time she left the harbor for another trip 

it was actually kazuha’s idea, but he doesn’t want to take all the credit for the captain’s romance

but her crew does help her with the letters all the time, whether that be getting them to you or actually writing them

of course, their help doesn’t go without any teasing or laughing towards beidou

they’re practically egging her on to sign the letters and for beidou to finally confess her “undying and unwavering” love to you (another suggestion by kazuha)

and after one night of heavy drinking, beidou writes up a letter all by herself. she signs it, then without another thought she sends it off with her most sober crew mate

the next morning, beidou wakes up to the crew mates breaking into her cabin, fretting around like mother hens as they hurry to get her sobered and nice looking

apparently, you were on the ship asking for an audience with the captain

beidou, who completely forgot about the letter from last night, thinks this is the best thing ever

until she sees the letter in your hands once she steps out of her cabin

after you gave it back, beidou read it over and saw that the letter was... undeniably bad. it’s writing was incredibly hard for both of you to discern, and the message behind it was even harder. but the signature at the bottom was unmistakably hers

while beidou internally promises to never drink again, she looks at you

well, you were bound to find out it was her sending the love letters. might as well tell you how she actually feels now.

“Alright, you caught me. I really like you, and I never told you before because I thought it would be difficult while I’m overseas. I’m willing to make it work somehow, if you are. So, what’cha say? You in or not?”

well, as a musician, xinyan doesn’t just write you love letters

a lot of her songs are based about you, but she’s a little too shy to play them because they’re so OBVIOUSLY about you (she thinks so, anyway)

she does enjoy writing the letters though!

her love letters are as bold as they come. both in their appearance and writing because xinyan pours everything into her letters and music, hoping that it’ll make your day better

she does care about how you are, y’know that right? she watches from afar as you read on, smiling whenever you do too

although, xinyan just cannot bring herself to confess to you

she knows that being in a relationship with her would be difficult. many have told her that she’s terrifying and too much to handle, and being in a relationship with someone famous can be a little difficult

there’s so many doubts in xinyan’s mind about how to progress whatever she feels for you, but she tries to ignore them

so, she’s stuck pining after you and watching from afar

until you start showing up to her shows, standing out in the crowd as you cheered along

xinyan loves talking to you after her performances, even sneaking away from her fans to find a more quiet and scheduled place for you two to talk (while also failing to make it seem extremely platonic and normal)

after a few more concerts and private talks, xinyan decides that it’s now time to go big or go home!

she plays you a song she’s been working on, shyly making eye contact with you as she sings each lyric

after the private performance, xinyan just clears her throat and looks away

“So, er, I like you. A lot. I really enjoy talking with you and looking at you and agh- you make me feel nice! Could we go out for lunch sometime? I know this really nice restaurant in Liyue that I’ve been dying to try.”

the letters were supposed to be a secret

yanfei only wrote them because she needed to do something about these feelings she harboured for you

writing them distracted her from the piles of stressful paperwork waiting on the corner of her desk

and it was actually really nice to just... express her love in secret

but her secret was exposed when a tired yanfei accidentally swapped out her important documents for hu tao with letters about you

one large grin on hu tao’s face made yanfei realize her mistake

she really did try snatching them back, but hu tao was relentless and her spear was useful to keep yanfei away

“you have a thing for them?! but they’re so-” “i know, it was a shock for me too.”

hu tao takes it upon herself to play matchmaker and give yanfei the courage to send out one of the letters to you

yanfei isn’t sure about it at all but as long as she left it as anonymous, it wouldn’t hurt right?

it actually... doesn’t, which surprised yanfei. perhaps sending you a few more wouldn’t hurt either?

but after a few more months of this, yanfei is longing for you so badly

although this time of loving you from afar will have a special place in her heart, she hopes that you’ll find a home in her heart alongside them

so, she confesses to you when she next sees you alone

“I can’t believe I’m actually saying this aloud but... I like you, a lot. I like you so much that I wrote and sent you love letters in secret. But I don’t want my feelings for you to be a secret anymore and... and I want to love you openly.” 

hu tao is determined to not let anyone know about her crush on you

she’s not embarrassed that she likes you! far from it actually!

it’s just that hu tao may or may not have involved herself into other’s peoples love lives and just knows they will try to get revenge

so she goes all out when she writes love letters in secret

the handwriting is never quite the same, but each letter picks up from the last one... which is the only clue you have that they’re all from the same person

hu tao NEVER leaves any space for a signature, just so she isn’t tempted to scribble down her name after a very loving letter

she writes by candlelight in her room at odd hours of the night or early morning

and most importantly, she drops off the letters in the middle of the night (right around closing time) at the post office, covered in a nice cloak

hu tao really makes an effort for no one to know it’s kind of scary

but APPARENTLY her efforts have been for nothing because her friends know about her big crush on you

she’s pleading with them to not say anything, offering coupons and discounts galore

but zhongli and yanfei, two of her most recent victims, don’t let her live it down

they encourage her to make a move, offering her kind words and assurances

but hu tao doesn’t budge

so, with no other obvious choice, zhongli marches down to find you as yanfei distracts hu tao

when you come around the corner, with zhongli shortly behind you, hu tao realized something was up

especially with that cute look of disbelief on your face

yanfei and zhongli bounce out of there as you stare at hu tao, waiting

“What did Zhongli tell you? What? No, this isn’t a prank! I would never do anything that mean to anyone, especially you. I genuinely like you, and want to spend a lot more time together... if you’d let me, that is.”

poor girl went to cloud retainer first

she was just so confused on why she felt so fuzzy yet numb around you, and was concerned that there was something wrong with her

did she have some hidden urge to hurt you? was that why she was feeling this way? but that didn’t make any sense, you have yet to hurt her-

while she explains, cloud retainer has the biggest smirk on her face (beak?)

as soon as shenhe finishes, she just chuckles at her apprentice

i will say that cloud retainer did try to help shenhe process these feelings, asking the right questions and everything

but nothing she said really got through to shenhe, except for one suggestive

“you must really like this mortal if you can wear your earrings and still feel something.”

and suddenly it just clicks for shenhe

she is relieved, of course. but what does she do with these feelings?

cloud retainer turns her towards ganyu, mumbling something about her having more experience with mortals and their “strange” habits

shenhe is surprised when ganyu is excited to help her. she barely manages to write down all of the half-qilin’s romantic ideas, some of them making her raise her eyebrows as she writes them out

most of them aren’t things that shenhe would normally do, at all. but one idea on the list catches her interest

when shenhe writes, it is a delicate, elegant, and long process

she needs a whole afternoon to write out a good letter because of how long it takes

but they always end up looking perfect

shenhe actually delivered the letter directly to you, a neutral expression in her eyes and on her face

“this is for you.” “oh, thank you, shenhe. is this from you?” a pause. “no, it was a mistake by the mailing service.” “oh, alright, thank you, shenhe-” 

girl is out of there before you can blink

she HATED lying to you, mostly because it was hard to come up with a convincing enough lie

but you’ve caught on who your “secret” admirer was by the third or fourth letter delivery. like, there’s no way that the post office can make that many mistakes in a row

when you confront shenhe about it, she literally freezes for a long moment and stares off in the distance

but after you wave your hands in front of her beautiful eyes, shenhe slowly responds 

“You were not supposed to find out this quickly. Although, I am glad you did. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while; I like you. I want to... do what mortals do when they love each other. If... if you love me back, that is.”

god she’s so sweet

whenever yun jin is writing a letter and she’s stuck on what to compliment you on (because she can’t just say “i love everything about you” now can she), she looks to any past yun-han operas

while looking, she actually rediscovers this sweet opera about the life of two people who are madly in love with each other but aren’t sure if the other is too

obviously, it hits yun jin in all the right places (even making her tear up as she reads through the script) and really does inspire her

yun jin now wants to revisit this opera and host it... and she does

it takes a lot of work, of course. but it’s so fun and she involves a lot of other people in it, even having some auditions for supporting cast (like, all of liyue is pretty excited about it)

the letters she sends leading up to opening day are much more sweet and promising

the very last letter she sends before the show includes a nice voucher for nice seats (a gift from me to you, my dear.), praying that you’ll show up 

and when she sees you in front, dressed up nicely for the occasion, yun jin beams from behind the stage

she put her whole heart into that performance because you showed up

although, she couldn’t dismiss the disappointed look on your face after the show

yun jin slips away from all her adoring fans, praising her work and talent (a.k.a. all the hard work she put into it all smh), and follows after you

“are you okay? you looked a little disappointed after the show.” “oh, uh, yeah, i’m fine. i was just hoping to see the person who reserved the seat fot me. that’s all.”

you’re surprised that she’s taken such an interest in your opinion. doesn’t the renowned stage lucida have somewhere else to be?

yun jin feels bad for getting your hopes up, honestly. she realizes that the letter might have leaded on to a meet up...which is what techinically happened but- which makes her feel worse

as you make way to leave, slightly embarassed for being so personal with yun jin, you feel a gentle hand take your wrist

without thinking, yun jin lets the next few words (her confession) fall out of her mouth

“I reserved that seat for you. And I wrote the letters. I’m the one who really likes you. I’m the one who wrote the sweet compliments about your eyes and your laughter. I... I’m the one who really likes you. And I’m scared to ask this, but... do you like me too?”

ganyu had always found the idea of writing love letters romantic

from all her time in liyue, she has heard countless stories of young romance and writing love letters

it was actually pretty common for the sailors to send letters back home to their sweethearts on longer voyages (although, they usually got back before the letter got home)

the stories were quite inspiring, even if ganyu’s love life was quiet

until you came along!

she finds herself a flustered mess around you and letting herself day dream about the two of you together

you’ve captured her heart effortlessly and unknowingly! well done

ganyu does want to act on these feelings though

although she’s a little timid to actually confess to you, writing love letters is a nice alternative for ganyu

it is stressful for her to write the letters and then deliver them. the last thing she wants is for you to find out it’s her that’s sending the letters

the way you react to the letters is just too cute for ganyu to reveal herself! even if you ask a bunch of questions afterwards

she never answers truthfully either, always providing weak excuses that make you raise your brow

but after one day of tiring work, she slips up and lets the words fall from her lips

“The person who’s been sending you all these love letters? It’s me. W-wait, did I really just say that aloud? Ah! J-just forget I said anything, please. Unless... unless you feel the same way about me?”

it wasn’t actually his idea to write you love letters

xiao was fine with just watching you from afar, really. he could spend all day watching you mingle with verr goldet and was content to experience you from afar (although a since of longing often plagued him afterwards)

however, huai’an caught xiao in one of his staring sessions and he has yet to live it down

huai’an was incredibly happy for him! he was just so excited that xiao found someone he liked, and huai’an had the perfect ideas to set you and xiao up!

confess to them! “no.” ask them on a date! “no.” give them flowers! “no.” write them a love letter!  “no.” anonymously?  “...fine.” 

xiao was extremely flustered whenever he wrote the letters. it also takes a lot of confidence from him to sneak down and deliver them to verr who would then hand them to you

he wants to say so much about you, but it’s so difficult when it all sounds like huai’an whenever he gets lovey dovey

and yes, they weren’t the most romantic letters and often times were extremely confusing to read

but these unexpected anonymous love letters were still a pleasant surprise to you! (from what xiao saw, anyway)

however, one time xiao wasn’t as sneaky as he thought he was when handing off the love letter to verr goldet

because just at that moment you came down the stairs and recognised the letter in his hands

xiao just fucking DISAPPEARS as soon as he makes eye contact with you, taking the love letter with him

it’ll take a few days before he comes out of hiding, using those days to build up the courage to speak to you directly

“I’m only going to say this once, so please listen carefully. I... I really like you and I want to spend some time with you. Would... would you like that too?”

baizhu’s illness leaves him bed-ridden pretty often

to the point where he can only visit his pharmacy every few weeks, bringing important documents and herbs with him

however, between all the important documents and herbs are love letters addressed to a special someone

you’re one of the most helpful souls baizhu has met, often accompanying qiqi when she needs to collect herbs. how could he not fall for you when you care so much about her? seriously

although it’s no secret that baizhu is the one who writes the letters, he finds it more amusing to leave the letters anonymous

even if he spends days writing them, hoping that his compliments and romantic metaphors aren’t too cheesy 

the amount of crumbled up letters in his waste basket is concerning, tbh

but baizhu’s favorite part of this whole process is the look on your face when you receive these letters

he even goes as far as handing the letters directly to you, making an off hand comment about someone dropping them off at the pharmacy

baizhu thinks he’s so slick when you believe the innocent lies

he even gets cocky! putting the love letters on top of the important papers and flowers whenever he comes in

it wasn’t long before baizhu’s confidence made him slip up

how was he supposed to know you would be at the pharmacy earlier than he thought?!

“Ah, well, you see, dear, I just thought it would be more romantic if I... I’m digging myself a deeper grave, aren’t I? Well, while I’m still digging, would you like to go out for dinner sometime?”

thank you for reading 💖 all forms of interaction to my posts are appreciated 💖

[jadedxrealityw]

-Halloween- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

Summary: It’s Halloween time, which means the Weasley twins are up to no good. They play a prank on Y/N that goes to far.

Warning: panic attacks, cursing, soft Draco, mature themes

House: Slytherin 

      ♡~🐍~♡

     Halloween, one of Y/N’s favorite holiday’s. She loved everything about Halloween. Down to trick or treating and carving pumpkins. She used to love to spend time with her parents on Halloween, but after they died while fighting Death-Eaters in her home. The holiday was never the same, but she still enjoyed it nonetheless.

     The twins had left her a note on her dorm room door. How they got into the Slytherin dorms was beyond her, but the Weasley twins always found a way when it came to there pranks. The note read “Princess, we have something to tell you in the room of requirement, come after breakfast” she stared at it for a couple seconds before shrugging.

     The twins were her best friends so she figured what ever they needed had to be important. With it being a free day at Hogwarts she wore Draco’s green jumper. It had his name on the back and she loved to wear it and he loved to see her in it. with it always being cold in Hogwarts she wore black leggings to keep her warm. She headed out the common room and to the great hall.

     When Y/N got there her eyes wandered until they landed on her Boyfriend. She walked slowly until she made her way behind him, covering his eyes with the palms of her hands. She leaned down “Guess who?” she whispers in his ear with a giggle. Draco smirked lightly as he put his hands over her’s “Hmm let me see? Parkinson?” he teased making Y/N huff and go to pull her hands away, but Draco gripped them and pulled her to sit down next to him.

     “Awe love, i'm only joking” He fake pouts at her angered expression. Y/N puffed her cheeks out in annoyance before a evil iea popped in her mind “When i did it to Harry he knew it was me” Draco’s eyebrow raised slightly and his hands let go of her hands and gripped her waist “You did what?” he seethed. Yes, jealous Draco. “Awe love, I’m only joking” she mocked his voice. He glared at her before dipping his head into her neck “You know better then to tease me, love” he muttered against her skin.

     Draco suddenly bit her neck, Y/N gasped and covered her mouth with her hand careful not to drawn attention to them. “Draco, n-not here” she whimpered as he gave her waist a light squeeze “You know i don't like when you mention saint Potter” he bit her neck again giving her the same reaction as the first time. Removing her hand from her mouth “You know i don't like when you mention Pansy” she retorts. He smiled slightly before moving his head to look at her “Fine, im sorry” he says and leans into capture her lips with his i a sweet kiss.

     Y/N smiles like an idiot as he pulls away, “Apology excepted, i won't talk about Harry again” Draco smiles and he lets go of her. She moves her body to lean against his and they began to eat breakfast.

      ♡~🐍~♡

     As breakfast ended Y/N sat up straight and stretched her arms. Draco stood up from his seat and held out his hand for his girlfriend, which she happily took and stood up as well “So, wanna head to my dorm so i can give you more then those two bites” he says in a low tone, his hand pushing the hair from my neck to gaze upon his work of art. Y/N’s face heated up at his words and playfully hit his chest “I have to meet up with the twins first for something” she shrugs.

     Draco frowned as he wrapped his arms around her torso “But you’ve been so busy lately. I want Y/N time too” he whines like a five year old who has been denied his favorite toy. His actions make Y/N giggle a bit “It’ll only be a minute then im all yours for the rest of the day” Draco perked up at the words and grinned happily “10 minutes okay?” he says and Y/N nods “10 minutes” she repeats. She gives him a short kiss and pulls away from his grasp.

    Y/N waves to him before she leaves the great hall, leaving a lovestruck Draco behind to smile stupidly before heading to his dorm to wait for his lovely Slytherin girlfriend.

      ♡~🐍~♡

     Y/N pushed opened the doors to the room of requirement to see no one there. She’s very confused but walks in just in case they were just behind something and that's the reason she couldn't see them. “George?” she calls out, but no one answered. “Fred?” no answer as well. She sighs. Those idiots forgot about there meeting that quick. Y/N would definitely would deal with them later, but a very handsome boy was waiting for her back at the dorms.

     Just as Y/N was about to turn around towards the door it shuts with a loud sound. She jumps slightly and looks around frantically “Guys, you better not be messing with me!” she snaps. The lights started to flicker making her shudder and think back to that night when Death-Eaters came to her home. Suddenly the lights were out. Leaving her in the pitch black. Her breathing sped up and she instinctively backed up until she hit something hard. 

     Thinking it was a wall Y/N sighed, until it grabbed at her making her yelp and push away. Loud sounds cam from everywhere. Crashing and shouting, taking her to the darkest corners of her mind. she fell to her knees and held her hands over her ears. Trying to drown out the noise. Her heartbeat was going extremely fast and her breathing was erratic. “George i dont think this is funny anymore” a voice came from the darkness “Turn the lights back on Fred” 

     The lights were switched back on and the twins were seen holdinmetallicic objects that they used to bang together and create the loud noise. Y/N was rocking back and forth in her place making the Weasleys worried. “Princess?” George crouched beside her and touched her shoulder. She screamed and backed away, shutting her eyes “It’s just us!” Fred exclaimed.

     Y/N was to far into her mind to process that she was safe and no one was going to hurt her, George was now extremely panicked and looked at his brother “Get Malfoy maybe he’ll know what to do?!” he suggested. Fred nodded hastily and ran out the room. George turned back to Y/N and frowned

      ♡~🐍~♡

     Fred ran up the stairs, doing his best not to fall, he saw a couple of Slytherins outside the common room door. He made his way to them out of breath “What do you want Weasley?” Pansy sneered, crossing her arms “I...need....Malfoy......Y/N” he sabetweenent pants for air “What?” Pansy laughed, making the two other Slytherins laugh with her. 

     “Your not bullying Gryffindors again are you Pansy?” A voice came from the stairs. Blaise Zabini. He looked at the Weasley and nodded towards him “Why do you need to see Malfoy?” he asked. He knew Y/N was friends with them so he wanted to be somewhat respectful. “We played a prank on Y/N, but she’s freaking out and we need Malfoy to calm her down!” “You what?!” Exclaimed a blond Slytherin who had just walked out the common room.

     “Were so sorry we didnt!-” “I dont care for your shitty excuses, take me to my girlfriend now, Weasley!” Draco snapped with an angered expression. Fred nodded slowly before they both ran down the stairs. Leaving the shocked Slytherins behind them “He really loves her” Blaise chuckled with a smirk.

      ♡~🐍~♡

     Fred pushed the door open and Draco rushed in quickly, he saw his girlfriend against a wall with her hands in her face. Her loud sobs and rough breathing made his heart tug violently. George spotted them and walked over quickly. “Don't be loud, it’ll only freak her out more” he said in a hushed tone. Draco growled and pulled his wand out, pointing it at the both of them. They raised their hands quickly “What. Did. You. Do?” he hissed, venom lacing his voice.

     “We brought her here with a note and let her walk in, when she went to leave we shut the door, turned out the lights, made loud noises and grabbed at her. It was supposed to be funny but she started freaking out so we stopped” George explained quickly. Fred nodded in agreement. Draco glared at them before pointing to the door with his wand “Out now” the twins nodded and left in a rush.

     When Y/N and Draco started to get serious she told him of the story on how her parents died. Every detail. He knew what triggered you, he knew why you were so upset now. His first thought was that he wished he talked you out of coming, but how could he have known. He pocketed his wand before crouching down next to you.

     Draco reached out and grabbed your hand, your body started to shake and you pushed away “Love, open your eyes it’s me. Draco your boyfriend” he said, but you weren’t listening. Despite your flailing body he wrapped his arms around you “Y/N just listen to my voice” Y/N could smell his cologne and the scent of green apples suddenly. It made her feel safe, and at peace. Her breathing started to slow down as Draco whispered reassuring words into her ear.

     Y/N pulled her head away from his chest to look at his face. He looked worried and was that a tear? “Draco?” she whispered. He looked at her and smiled “There you are” he said sweetly. She reached up and wiped the tear from his face “Why are you crying?” she asked, her voice rough from sobbing. “You have no idea how much pain it brings me when you are like that” he whispered, his voice cracking.

     “I may never be able to know what goes on in your head, but i will always be here to pick you up when you fall, my love” Y/N smiles at his words as she grabs his face. She moves her body to wrap her legs around his torso “Thank you so much Draco” she leans her forehead against his. He smiles and put one hand on the small of her back to push her body flush against his while the other cupped her face.

     “Like i said, always” Draco’s hand slithered from her face to the nape of her neck to pull her into a deep kiss. She responds instantly and kisses back with the same amount of love he does. They pull away out of breath making him grin “Want to take this to my dorm finally?” he says, his head dipping into her neck to bite at the sensitive skin. Y/N whimpers softly and smiles “Yeah”

     A/N: Kinda spicy, but not a smut. I could write smut if you guys want. My requests are open for anyone that wants to ♡

[gebtoons]

my contribution to the bapo timeline discourse bc i’m just gonna propose a timeline and will not be taking criticism <3 (under the cut bc this is gonna be a long post probably) 

ok disclaimer I am quite stupid, however I’m gonna use my knowledge from my own 12 years in american public high school and what little info I have about american boarding schools/catholic schools that I have from my friends lol. so. idk. 

i’m also gonna date songs/major events and i’m gonna be taking some “just trust me bro” liberties bc y’all are right it does NOT make that much sense. 

January 6: Epiphany; this is like an actual holiday lol. like its always on the sixth. idk its good that this is the starting point bc its an actual date yknow? For the purposes of this timeline were going with that its early in the week, so lets go with Monday idk

January 6-13: You and I, Role of a Lifetime; so we’re all kinda in agreement that this timeline (at least the beginning) only really makes sense if you and i/role of a lifetime aren’t like. a singular moment and are instead multiple days. so yeah, of this first week, this is like. monday-next sunday ish yknow. 

January 14: Auditions, Plain Jane Fatass; ok so having auditions for a spring musical right after kids get back from break actually makes perfect sense to me, like i can see it being like “ok take break to prepare so as soon as you come back we can have auditions so we can jump right into rehersals” yknow? and since the rave is clearly on a friday (”we’ll meet in tanya’s room on friday night”) so i’m going with the monday before.  

as for pjf, i know it doesn’t make a ton of sense for them to get a two week late birthday package their first few weeks back from school, but hear me out it makes sense. the implication throughout this entire show is that the twins have decently shitty parents. from bits of dialogue (in this song in particular lol) i’m kinda inferring their the “only concerned with how their kids make them look to others” kind of neglectful. so I don’t think it’s too outside the realm of possibility that they went away for the holidays, didn’t bring the twins, and instead mailed them a birthday package and having it show up two weeks late. realistically the timing of this isnt that important and the explicit “two week” time frame could’ve been an exaggeration on nadia’s part to mock her shit parents (idk its in her character) basically ppl are a little two fixated on this imo but anyway. moving on. 

January 18: Wonderland, A Quiet Night At Home, Rolling, Best Kept Secret; a very agreed upon point in the timeline. its the friday following the auditions. moving on. 

January 21: Confession; also very agreed upon. the monday following the rave. moving on again 

January 23: Portrait of a Girl; the date here is kinda arbitrary, but bc sister chantelle says “ok lets try to put yesterday’s rehearsal behind us” and i for the life of me cannot think of a scene she could be referring to (there’s none in the script either) that implies it wasn’t the same monday as confession (bc even in a boarding school i think holding extracurriculars that aren’t sports over the weekend (especially when they are no where near crunch time lol) is weird and not common) so i just picked a random day during the week

January 25: Birthday Bitch!, One Kiss, Are You There?; from matt’s line in wonderland, ivy’s birthday is a week after the rave. in my timeline that’s january 25th (an aquarius queen). 

btw given all grown up’s “17, how will i manage?” ivy is 16 during 17 at her party, which is strange given shes a high school senior and seniors are typically 17 during 18. so either a) she skipped a grade, not an unheard of thing. or b) shes not a senior, shes just a junior who hangs out with a bunch of seniors, which is also pretty common. and looking through the script i can’t find any mention that she is also a senior, other than yknow she graduates with them, but she isn’t mentioned during the class ranking scene? so idk not that it really matters just a fun detail 

February 3 (at night): 911 Emergency!; ok controversial. i know i like the joke about how its funny that peter having a weird dream when he was high prompted him to want to come out and really ruined his relationship with jason. BUT. i think the dream (despite it’s weirdness) would have a lot more meaning if it wasn’t the result of being really high, but if it was a dream he had like a week later as a result of a building sense of guilt/anxiety bc he told matt. also it fits better given later timeline things. (this timeline literally only exists if there are weird jumps in time that don’t make a ton of sense) (EDIT: I forgot one line about Jason crashing at ivys but fuck it forget that bitchass line this makes for more drama its staying this way)

February 4: Reputation Stain’d, Ever After; the next day following peter’s dream, idk what else to say, moving on. 

February 25-28: Spring; another jump! i’m sorry but the only way for this to make sense logistically is for there to be quite a few time jumps! however, i also think this one works bc i think it gives time for everything from around ivy’s party and peter and jason’s break up to stew emotionally. like obviously a musical only has so much time to tell a story so the audience cannot see every realistic beat, but honestly i think it makes the whole thing a little more dramatic™ if there’s space for everything to settle, and for ivy to come and apologize and such. also, the reason it’s multiple days is bc in the script, ivy is trying to study (presumably for some sort of midterm) while nadia is playing, so that probably takes place a few days before they move out, so before finals. but in the script, jason and peter are packing and peter is leaving, so that part of the song/staging takes place on the 28th. yes, that’s weird, but we are clearly thinking more about the logistics of this school than the writers were so. 

March 1: One; assuming st. cecilia’s works kinda like boarding schools here, they probably do staggered move out/move in, just bc that would be a lot to have people coming and going at once so it makes sense that peter left the day before, while jason and ivy are leaving the next day. also, given that peter is trying to call jason while he and ivy are banging, it’s probably been a hot minute since the actual break up, since peter was clearly very hurt by the whole thing, it would make sense (at least to me) that peter would reach out a month ish later, rather than like a few days later (you have to make so many assumptions to make this timeline work granted they aren’t super out there assumptions but still this is annoying) 

March 1-25: Spring Break. the coworkers I have who are in boarding school work over their school breaks, which are longer than the public school breaks (which are only a week) so i put their spring break at 3 weeks. it makes sense, and it makes the later part of the timeline make sense. 

I know i’m already halfway through this, but to me it makes sense for their to be quite a few time jumps in the story bc its a musical. they cannot show every day. there are a lot of other shows (particularly shows set in high schools) that are set over a whole school year, but if you just look at the events of the story that doesn’t make sense, so you have to imply that obviously they are not showing every little detail. moving on. 

March 25: Wedding Bells, In The Hallway, Touch My Soul; peter wakes up from his nightmare in the church, so im assuming he fell asleep in church (like he almost did during epiphany). also it makes sense that class ranks are announced in late march-early april, I know my school announced ours in like, the first week or so of april? so yeah. moving on.

(from this point on i was giving myself a headache trying to make it make sense so its all weird from here!!)

April 4: See Me, Warning; the date doesn’t really matter here, I picked a random day in early april. the script said peter is calling from him and jason’s old dorm room, as he was picking up the last of his things, so he clearly made the roommate switch after school started (makes sense to me). 

April 15-20 (approximately): Ivy finds out she’s pregnant. look google tells me on average people find out they are pregnant around 5-7 weeks after conception. i went with around 7 just so this timeline makes a tiny bit more sense given the later stuff, so yeah here we go. 

May 4: Pilgrim’s Hands, God Don’t Make No Trash, All Grown Up, Promise, Once Upon A Time, Cross; a rough night for our heroes. so given sister chantelle saying “again? wonderful.” and nadia saying “i can’t believe you missed rehearsal again”, clearly ivy has been missing quite a few rehearsals, so for dramas sake maybe from when she found out she was pregnant? also i know i’ve been saying they wouldn’t have rehearsals on weekends, and given my weird timeline this would be a saturday, but its tech week so i’ll allow it. 

May 5: Two Households, Bare, Queen Mab, A Glooming Peace; pretty self explanatory, and it makes sense to have the spring play in early may. rip jason. 

May 11: Absolution; the day before graduation peter goes to confront the priest. gives him a small amount of time to start processing, and it makes sense it would be the night before, at least to me. 

May 12: No Voice; i fucking hate this. “peter, we graduate next sunday” i hate that stupid fucking line. do you know that this timeline literally would be fine if it weren’t for that stupid fucking line? bc then, the school play would be in early may and graduation could be in late may-early june (when most high schools hold graduation) but no. keeping with continuity, they have to graduate the sunday following the school play. “peter we graduate in a month, are you really never gonna talk to me again?” would have been fine. but no, now we have beef. literally everything else about the end of this timeline being kinda weird would work itself out, except for the fucking graduation. god damn. anyway, may 12th, the graduate on may 12th which is really fucking weird bc of that one fucking line. whatever. i didn’t write the damn thing bc if i did i wouldn’t have written that fucking line. (i’ve been at this for over an hour and a half, so i’m a tad annoyed, can you tell?) 

anyway, that’s it. that’s my long as hell proposed bare timeline. if there’s anything glaringly wrong with it i don’t care bc this timeline literally cannot make sense. but honestly, now that i think about the Popular Tween High Schooler Musicals (heathers, bmc, deh) the timelines of those (especially heathers and bmc) don’t make tons of sense either. that’s just the way it is, that’s the way its gonna be. and we have to live with it. 

this post is so long it is actually slowing down my laptop as i type it

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Like A Switch

Fandom: Marvel (Truck Driver AU - The Usual Stop Universe)

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky Barnes x Reader

As requested by anonymous: Would you be willing to write something with chubby!Bucky where he discovers he really likes being called “sir”? + Ooh I love chubby Bucky so much! Enjoy your holiday!!!! May I request something where chubby!Buck seems a little shy in bed at first and maybe self conscious and you say something that kinda flips a switch and he’s totally dominant and confident? Like maybe saying “sir” or something? +  @feelmyroarrrr ‘s request:  Bucky takes her on a weekend away And the 3nd up doing hardly any sightseeing as the hotel bedroom is just too inviting

Warning: smut

A/N: Read “The Usual Stop” here! 

“A vacation?” you look at Bucky curiously as you’re laying on the bed of a motel off the road in Oregon. 

Bucky nodded. He sat up against the headboard, with a shirt and his boxers. He set a hand on your arm, “You okay with that? Going on a vacation? With me?” Bucky loved you, there was no doubt about that. But because of his job and the way he looked, people didn’t see him as important or attractive. You’ve made it very clear with him that you loved him just as much, but Bucky was always afraid that you’d figure out this isn’t what you want, that he isn’t what you want.

You sat up on the bed and crawled over to Bucky, straddling his lap and resting your hands on his shoulders, “Of course I’m okay with it, Buck. I told you, I’m not going anywhere. Wherever you are, I wanna be. Whether it’s on the road or some beach in Florida. I don’t care as long as I’m with you.”

Bucky smiled at you with that same fondness in his eyes that you always see. He tapped his lips with his fingers, “Gimme some love, baby.”

You giggled, “Yes, sir,” and closed the distance by pressing your lips to his.

Bucky grabs a hold of your waist, pulling you in closer, deepening the kiss. You began to grind down onto his crotch and he could feel himself getting hard, but he had to stop. He needed to stop.

He pulled away with a sad sigh, “I’m sorry, Y/N.” this has happened before. When things were starting to get hot and heavy, Bucky halted everything. He wanted to have sex with you, he really did. He was just afraid. He was afraid that you’d look at his stomach and see how he’s not a guy you should be with and you’d leave him. He explained this the first time it happened and since then, your response is always, “Don’t be. Whenever you’re ready.” 

It made him feel even more like crap because you’d get all riled up just to end up being disappointed. Bucky wasn’t a virgin or anything. He’s had his fair share of one night stands and the likes. But this was different. He loved you so much and the thought of you leaving him because of how he looked...he couldn’t take it.

You pressed a gentle to kiss to his lips, “Don’t be sorry, Buck. I’m the one who should be sorry. I got excited,” you have a little chuckle and then climbed off his lap, “Let’s get some sleep, ya? All that needs to be done tomorrow is drop off the trailer and we’re home bound.”

You shimmied yourself under the blankets after turning off the bedside light, “Goodnight, babe. I love you.”

Bucky sighed as he slid into bed beside you, wrapping his arms around you, “Goodnight, I love you too.”

___________________

The hotel Bucky chose sat right before a beach. The sea breeze blowing through the balcony door. It wasn’t fancy or anything, but it sure beat the small motels that you were both used to staying at. 

You stood on the balcony, soaking up the sun. Your eyes closed and the sunlight beaming down on you. You looked like a goddess. 

You hear a familiar click and the sound of a photo developing. You turned around to see Bucky with his polaroid camera in hand, already shaking the photo to develop.

He gave a shrug of the shoulders, a smile painted on his lips, “You just looked like the most beautiful sight ever, I had to take a picture of ya.”

You giggled and sauntered over to him, your hands resting on his chest and you kissed his nose, “Can I see?” he handed it to you and slowly the color was coming to the picture. It was definitely a pretty picture. The way that the sun shined down on you gave a glowing effect, “I really like this one.”

Bucky hummed, “Put in your album then.”

You nodded and said, “Yes, sir.” You’ve been saying that phrase a lot lately, Bucky’s noticed. He’s also noticed that every time you’ve said, his pants suddenly get a bit tight around the crotch area. 

No surprise, he looked down and saw a prominent bulge in his pants. He silently cursed because of how much you and your words affect him, even without you knowing it. 

“Buck, I’m gonna take a shower. Get all the roadtrip sweat off me.”

He nodded, “Y-Yeah, sweetheart, you go ahead. I’ll just get a comfortable.” he waited until you went into the bathroom and heard the shower turn on. He then quickly undressed himself, laying on top of the bed in just his boxers. He freed his cock and fuck was he hard. 

He gripped his shaft, letting out a hiss of pleasure from the feeling. He closed his eyes and began to imagine you naked, straddling his lap. You looked so beautiful as you rode him. Your y/e/c eyes baring down at him, your lips red from the biting and kissing, your neck covered in his love bites. 

“You feel so good, Bucky. You fill me up so good,” you’d whimper.

“Fuck yeah, baby. Ride me harder, I know you want more. Take it all, sweet girl.” you’d smirk at the notion and move your hips faster, rocking on his cock hard and rough. His hands gripping at your waist, so hard you’d probably have nail indents on your skin. But you didn’t care.

“My naughty little girl, aren’t ya? You my naughty girl, Y/N?”

You’d nod and moan out a “Yes, I’m your naughty girl.” Just the image of your face filled with absolute, pleasurable bliss was bringing Bucky to the edge. His hand quickly pumping his cock. He could feel the pleasure building up and-

“Need some help?” his eyes shot open and there you were standing in front of the bed, clad in your bra and panties, hair still dripping from your shower.

“Y/N, I-uh,” he quickly grabbed his shirt and covered his crotch, “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t-”

“Bucky,” you crawled onto the bed and towards him, causing him to gulp, “It’s okay. I’ll admit, I’ve rubbed one off in the shower thinking about you too many times to count.” 

He groaned, “Why you gotta tell me that?” his cock twitching under his shirt.

You giggled, “Buck, I don’t wanna rush you or force you into anything, but aren’t you tired of pulling away whenever things get heated between us?”

“Yes, God, yes. I am it’s just..I just...it’s been a while since I’ve had sex and I really love you and all, but I’m not, ya know, the best lookin’, sweetheart.”

You snorted, “Bucky, watching you lay here completely naked and jerking yourself off was probably one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely. And honestly, I’ve been aching for you so much. I want you, Bucky, all of you. Heart, body, and soul.”

“But my-”

“James Buchanan Barnes, you listen to me right now: you are the sexiest man I’ve ever met. Okay? And more often than not I think about riding the hell outta you.”

Bucky choked on his own spit when you said that, “You-wha-I-” he pauses and take a breath, “Straddle my lap, baby girl,” his voice going down an octave, his eyes now hard and looking right into yours. 

You smile excitedly as you pull his shirt from his crotch, throwing it over your shoulder, and crawling onto his lap. Already, you begin to find some friction, rubbing your pussy against his hard cock, which earned you a slap to the ass.

“Did I say you could do that, princess?”

You bit your lip as you shook your head, “No, sir.”

His jaw clenched and he licked his lips, “You do exactly what I say, got it?”

You nodded, “Yes, sir.”

Bucky growled as he wrapped one arm around you, pulling you closer, “Atta girl. Now, play with yourself. Get that pussy nice and wet for me.”

You whimpered as your hand slid to your pussy, rubbing against that sensitive nub. You could feel your walls slicken with your arousal. Bucky’s hand wrapped around his cock again, pumping it to a pace that matches your own. 

“Fuck, honey, you look so goddamn pretty like this. ‘M sorry it took me so long to do this.”

You shook your head and leaned in, pressing a reassuring kiss to his lips, “Stop apologizing. I love you and I’d wait days, months, or years for you.”

Bucky moans as you start to jut your hips forward, letting your clit drag along his hard cock, “I think that’s enough teasing now, don’t you, sugar?”

“Please, sir, fuck me? I’m ready and aching for you.”

Bucky grabbed your hips and rolled you onto your back. He took your wrists pinning them to both sides of your face, “You keep your hands right there, sweetness. Don’t you dare move ‘em, you hear me?”

You nod, “Yes, sir.” God, Bucky doesn’t think he could get tired of hearing that.

He takes his hardened length into his hand, and starts to rub his tip along your slit and down your slick, his pre-cum colliding with your own juices. He glides himself up and down, teasing your entrance a little bit more, “You ready for me, baby girl?”

“Pleas, sir. Ready for you.”

With ease, he slides into you causing you to gasp and him grunt in satisfaction. He wasn’t all the way in yet and you already felt so snug around him, “Fucking hell, Y/N.”

“C’mon, Bucky,” your legs wrap around him, pulling him closer and pushing him further into you, “More.” And with a quick thrust, he filled you whole. 

He stayed there for a moment, allowing yourself to adjust to him, “Lemme know when you’re ready, sweetness.”

You nodded, “I’m good.”

And without hesitation, Bucky thrust into you again. His arms had him propped up, his round stomach pressing against your pubic with every snap of his hips. You always found Bucky attractive, but right now, in this moment as he loses himself in the pleasure, he looks the most attractive he’s ever been. Naked and bare for you taking what he wants, taking what you haven given to him so willingly with so much trust and love. 

“God, baby! You feel like absolute Heaven!” he groans. 

Your fists clench beside you as you so desperately want to touch Bucky, to hold him. But your hands remain there because, you gotta admit, this more dominant side of him is really fucking hot.

One of his hands leaves your side as it runs down your body, leaving goosebumps in its wake, and to your pussy. His thumb rubbing circles around your clit to the pace of his thrusts. You were feeling hot then, now, you’re on fire. 

You let out the most sinful moan that Bucky’s ever heard and he loves it. He loves that you’re falling apart because of him. So he continues. He fucks you and he stimulates your clit all the while he’s getting off himself. And on top of that, he’s admiring you, taking in every perfection and flaw to your face. Watching you with hooded eyes as you stare up at him, lips red and puckered from the kissing and biting. A sheen of sweat starting to shroud your body. You’re a mess, but you’re his mess, his beautiful, wonderful, loving, sexy, mess.

“Sir, let me touch you, please. Wanna touch you.”

Bucky grits his teeth as he feels your walls clench onto him. He gives a nod, “Alright, baby. You can touch me.”

Your hands immediately fly forward, pulling Bucky down for a searing kiss, one that he moans into. His thrusts never falter. He removes his hand from your clit and leans forward more, deepening the kiss and pushing himself further into you. He grabs onto the pillow underneath you, gripping it hard. He feels himself coming closer to the edge. He thinks you might be too, but he’s too clouded by the pleasure. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he murmurs against your lips, “Gonna-” he pulls out just in time for his seed to shoot onto your mound and stomach with a loud animalistic groan, his hand stroking himself fast and hard for every last drop. He’s panting heavy and he wants to lie down, but not before you’ve had yours. 

His fingers replace his cock, pumping two into you while his other hands works at your nub.

You hold onto the sheets beneath you for dear life as you cry out for Bucky, begging him to make you cum on his fingers, “Baby! Oh fuck, sir! Please, please, please! Right there! Shit!” you cry out one last time as your orgasm hits you full blown. Your back arches off the bed and your eyes are shut tight. Your mouth is open, a high shrill of pleasure emitting from it as Bucky’s fingers continue to help you ride through your climax. He finally relents when your body collapses back onto the bed looking limp and completely exhausted.

With a proud smile, Bucky lays on his side next to you. His arm propping up his head as he looks at you, “Can’t believe I’ve been missing out on that sight for this long.”

Through your post-orgasmic haze, you giggled, “I think it was worth it though.”

He hums in agreement, “I think so too.” 

You then slowly roll out of bed, walking around confidently, naked as the day you was born, “We should shower and get dressed. You said you wanted to check out that restaurant a couple blocks away, right?” 

Bucky immediately sits up, “Oh, sweetheart, I don’t think we’re leaving this room at all.”

You look at him confusedly, “What do you-”

“Now that I got a taste of ya, I don’t think I ever wanna stop.” you see that lustful gaze in him again and you see that he’s starting to get hard once more. 

You smirked, arms crossed over your chest, “I think I may have turned you into a sex fiend, Barnes.”

“Well, maybe you should c’mere and find out,” he says with a mischievous grin. And in no time, you’re going for round two because now Bucky just can’t seem to get enough of you.

[50-percent-winchester-sister]

Valentines Pool Game

Sam & Eileen 24 & 30

Dean & Abigail 28 & 27

Y/N & Ben 17 & 15

Word Count: 1,553

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY YOU SPN FOOLS! I literally forced myself to finish this before the day and post the of Valentine's day, so here you go.

Prompt: Its Valentine's Day and nothing beats hanging out with your boyfriend and your brothers.

Angsty at the beginning but fluffy at in the middle and end :). I'm mean, not cruel

  You wake up when you check your phone and "Great its THAT holiday." Ben is grounded for sneaking out to see you, so you don't get to see him today, fantastic! You wake up to go in the kitchen to see Eileen and Abigail, your brother's girlfriends. You love that they make your brothers happy, but even if in your mind they could never compare to Jess and Lisa. You walked a little bit back to where they can't see you and you hear Dean say "Hey Sammy, is Y/N awake yet?" "I don't think so, I'll go get her." Once he left the kitchen he jumped a little when he saw you. "Oh Y/N, hey me, Dean and the girls are in the kitchen if you want to-" "Not really, its Valentines' Day, you four do your own thing, I'll just head back to my room." "I'm sorry" "Nothing to be sorry about Sam, now quit talkin' and get back to Eileen."

  Sam walks in the kitchen and Dean asks "Is Y/N okay?" "I don't think so Dean, today's rough for her" "What? Because Lis grounded Ben? Please it's her fault for making him sneak out to see her" "You used to do the same exact thing with Charlie Dean, don't say that" "And you with Jess when you went to college," Dean said with a smile. You heard all of them laughing which made you both pissy and sad. You loved Lisa like she was your mom and Jess like she was your big sister, so hearing the boys laughing with Eileen and Abigail leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth.

  You finally decide to come down in the living room around 5 pm and they look all nice and dressed up. Dean came up to you, shaking your shoulders and said: "Y/N you need to get dressed NOW!" Startled you asked "Wait Wha? What for?" "You're coming with us!" Sam chimed in. "But wait why though? I'll just be a fifth wheel..." "Okay, I didn't want to do this but.." Sam lifts you and picks you up over his shoulds by your legs "Samuel William Winchester you put me down right now I'm too heavy!" "Oh shut up no you aren't." He drags you to your room to get dressed.

  To say you didn't look nice was an understatement. you wore black tights, grey oversized dress sweater, brown kneehigh boots and you had your hair up in a ponytail, the way Sam used to put it up when you were little. "Wow bugaboo, you look really nice' "Thank you, I'm not big on formality so this is the best I got" "Well let's get rollin' I made reservations, Don't wanna be late," Dean says. You five walk outside when you decide to say "I'll take my bike, you four take the Impala?" "Uh no Y/N, you're riding with us." "But Dean-" "No buts Y/N, now come on" you heavily sighed as Dean knows exactly why you wanted to take the bike. Being so close to Abigail and Eileen makes you want to freak out. The whole time you were the only one that was quiet and thankfully, Sam let you ride shotgun with Dean so you don't have to sit so close with them.

  Once you get to the restaurant you blink for a second, "Wait, Dean, this place has expensive food, when did we get the money for this?" You turn to look at Dean to see him wearing a shit-eating grin. "Pool, of course, what do you take me for, a Real job employee?" he says as he chuckles afterward. "Alright whatever, let's just get inside," Abigail says while getting out. Everyone soon follows her when Sam lightly pushes you forward and says "You get to go in first" "Why?" "Just go," Sam says while having a big smile on his face. Dean holds the door open for you, Sam, Abigail, and Eileen, "Ladies first, you too Samantha" "Jerk" "Bitch" "Shut up" You say while walking passed them. You walk inside when you look up to your left and you see "Ben!" You run towards ben and he twirls you around. "Happy Valentines Day Y/N." He says while giving you a small box of chocolates and a single white rose. "You too! If I would have known you would be here I would have brung what I bought you, I thought you were grounded" "Yeah, hehe I am, I snuck out to see you, Its Valentines Day, you really can't expect me to leave you alone of all days." "Your mom will find out sooner or later" "Yeah yeah, I'll deal with her, but right now-" He looks behind you and looks at Sam and Dean, then looks back at you. "Right now, I'm here for you and you only."

  You and Ben sat by yourselves at a different table then Sam, Dean, and their girlfriends, but close enough to where they can still see you two. It's not every day that Sam and Dean actually let you have a boyfriend, let alone Dean letting you date Ben, Lisa's son. Its been around thirty minutes until Dean comes up to you and asks, "Hey, Y/N, I kinda need you in the bar, were hustling at pool and there's this guy with a LOT of money and uhh, Sammy kinda shot himself in the foot and decided to go up against him, we need you." You stare at him blankly, why does he need 'my' help? "Sure? Can Ben come?" "Yeah of course, just keep him hidden, he's too young to be in there." "Dean, I'm too young to be in there." He scoffs but has a smile on his face, "Yeah, but you have a fake ID, you're good." You, Be, and Dean walked into the bar to see Sam acting super tough to the guy he challenged. You whisper, "Sam, I got this." You walk up to the guy and say, "Well, hey there baby, it seems like you just leaped into hell for that money didn't ya?" "You wanna go, girly?" You really don't like the word girly, you aren't girly. "Stripes or solids, baby?" "You choose, I'll win either way." You go to the pool table and fix the balls into a triangle, "Ill be stripes then" you say as you smile as you pick up a cue stick. "You can go first, it won't be long until this game is over," you say smiling. You look at Sam who looks deeply confused, and Dean who is grinning like he's never had before.

  "What's your name girly? I want to know the name of the girl I steal thousands from." "The names Francisca Montiga, and don't worry, I won't be the one who looses." You won't tell him your real name since this will be the last him you'll ever see him. Once he goes he gets two of his balls into the nets, numbers 2 and 5. Impressive, you thought, but obviously not a pro. "My turn, you sure you won't back out baby?" "Just go, you're an easy target." Ouch, you're so utterly hurt, it almost makes you cry. you laugh as you take your turn. You hit the cue ball and boom, stripe numbers 9, 10, 13 and 15 falls into the net. 'Hell yes!' you think to yourself smiling hugely. You look back at Sam with a shocked expression and Dean laughing loudly. You hear Sam ask Dean, "Dean, how the hell did she learn to play like that?" Dean, still laughing says "Come on, don't act like it's my fault! She's always been a pro!!"

  Eventually, the game ends and of course, you come out victorious, but with a small problem, the guy was super pissed that you won and you walked out of the bar with a black eye. "Here," you say obviously in pain, giving the money to Dean, "It's yours I was just helping out." "No Jen, don't worry, keep it, but don't spend it all in one night, trust me, I've done that, not pretty." Once you six are outside, your brothers and their girls get inside the Impala while you stand there on the sidewalk talking with Ben. "Sorry this isn't the best day of your life," you say with a sad smile, you felt like you just ruined his day. "Y/N, stop this all of this was actually pretty fun, though, I didn't like it when you kept calling him Baby." You lightly laugh, but apologize, "Sorry, it was all part of the act, I promise I won't call another guy baby again." "Apology accepted." Ben is the sweetest boy in the world, you thought to yourself. "Well my brothers are probably mad I didn't walk with them to the car." "Once I get ungrounded ill come by to the bunker so we can actually be by ourselves." "Sounds like a plan." You hug him and kiss his cheek while walking to the passenger seat of the Impala. "Today was a fun day, We should do this again next Valentine's day, minus the black eye," you say to your brothers and even their girlfriends.

[ineedrelationshipadvice]

Am I guilty of rebounding?

ORIGINAL MESSAGE

First of all, im sorry for the weird grammar, my first language isnt english. Anyways.

Here is the thing, i (f18) been going out with this girl (19f) for a while, but lately i realize our relationship wasnt going nowhere and i wasnt really happy. See, she would act kinda disgusted when i would be affectionable with her (like saying ugh and that kinda stuff, bit she apologised), she said she didnt like being in my house (and tbh lowkey also my family) and most of the time/lately it was like she wasnt really interested in me, my interest, what i do, etc. We been seeing eachother for like 2?3? years but kinda on and off, but she never asked to be official (tbh i never asked either, but before i told her i was ready to be her girlfriend when she was). So one day i decided to break things up, because all of this combined (and dealing with it for months) made me fall out of love with her. Now, looking back i think i should have waited for the year to end before i broke up with her, i ended things a week before Christmas, just cos i couldnt start the holidays/new year like this. BUT here is were things get kinda complicated, see, a day before i broke up with her, a friend of mine (18M) confessed his feelings for me. Now, i really like the guy, but i wasnt expecting this. So, i told him to wait, broke things with her the next day, and told the guy that while i didnt feel the same, i wouldnt mind going out with him someday.

So now its January, im kinda going out with him and im happy, i REALLY like him, but i started to feel guilty because i started to go out with him right after i ended with her, and im scared that when she founds out she would think that she meant nothing to me, that i didnt loved her or that i was cheating on her (we ended things amicably i think). And im also scared that if he were to find out, he would think that i see him as a rebound or that my feelings for him arent genuine. The question is, did i handle things correctly? Should i have waited? I feel i should have told the guy the situation but i didnt wanna out her (or me tbh). Considering we werent girlfriends (but we were really close), is it okay to start seeing some else right away? What should i do they find out?

Thank you for your time!! And i really appreciate the help.

_______

REPLY

So this is definitely a complicated situation with a lot of working parts. You did have your questions and concerns, and I'm going to be blunt with you right away. Did you handle this correctly? Eh, probably not. You said it yourself: maybe you should have waited a little longer. Breaking up right before Christmas is pretty rough, and it definitely hurt feelings somewhere in the  middle. That's true of any break-up though. Could you have waited? Probably. Should you have? That's the question you actually asked, and in my opinion, I don't think you should have. If you didn't want to associate with her anymore, then you should end the relationship, even if it's a flexible and "not official" relationship. If you're not happy, get out. Are their more "polite" ways to do things? Sure, and you should try to be polite, because it's just the  nice thing to do. But it's not a requirement.

To your next question, is it okay to start seeing someone right away? Yes.

You mentioned worrying that you'd be seen as rebounding. And while that's a valid concern, it misunderstands what a rebound actually is. Rebounding is essentially a method of avoiding the grief and pain of a relationship by leaving the previous relationship, and immediately getting into a new relationship that you don't actually care about in order to get over the previous relationship. Given what you're saying here, that doesn't seem to agree with your situation. You seem to legitimately care about this person, and I'm going to take your word as honest. That's all that matters.

What do you do if they find out? Nothing. You have no more obligation to your ex-partner. You're not required to explain yourself. If you want to try to maintain that relationship or be courteos, you could always explain yourself to them. But will they care? Will they want to listen? Who knows? Your guess is as good as anyone else's.

The one thing I do think is most important in all of this is to just explain to your boyfriend the whole situation. Let him know that when you started dating him, you just got out of a relationship. You don't have to tell him more than that! Just let him know, and let him know that your ex might be stupid when they find out, and to be prepared if drama gets started, and maybe apologize in advance. Remember, the drama may never occur! But letting your boyfriend know in advance can at least prepare him for the possibility. What about accidentally outing yourself or your ex? Just don't explain that detail. Your current partner doesn't need to know who your last partner was unless you explicitly want to tell them. You could even just say that it was a girl, but not reveal names or identities. You're in control of your relationship past, and you can give as much information about it as you damn well please!

[ofkelsi]

[ natalia dyer, twenty-three, cisfemale, she/her ] ━ did y'all see [ kelsi phillips ] walkin’ into [ galaxy drive in? ] they’ve lived in frostford for [ twenty years, ] and you can catch ‘em around town working as a [ kindergarten teacher ]. I reckon they’re pretty [ benevolent & nurturing ] but I hear they can also be kinda [ impatient & rambunctious. ] if ya see ‘em around, be sure to say hi. ━  [ car accident, nightmares. ]

CHILDHOOD years -- 

kelsi anne phillips was born on october 31st 1995 to faye allen and seth phillips.  seth was born and raised in frostford until he turned seven and his dad got a job out of state in texas--which happened to be a great move because he met faye at their new church.  

best friends since they met, faye and seth finished high school and moved to college station, texas where they both attended texas a&m university.  faye had taken a year off before going to college to be with their newborn baby girl and get their apartment all settled.  

kelsi anne spent the beginning of her childhood either in a classroom where her mama was learning or at the old woman next door’s apartment while both her parents were at class or at their jobs.  she doesn’t remember much from these years, but the smell of snickerdoodles always remind her of baking with the woman next door.  

( CAR ACCIDENT TW ) when she was three going on four, her parents and her were in the car on the way back to houston to visit their parents when tragedy struck.  their car was hit head on by someone who ran a red light.  young kelsi suffered minor scarring and a wrist fracture, but both of her parents died due to injuries from the collision.  ( END TW )

custody of kelsi was given to seth’s parents ( susanna & darwin phillips ) as her mother’s parents ( elaine & sean allen ) were still raising three children of their own ( her aunts & uncle -- the youngest of which is three years older than kelsi ).  soon after, the phillips’ moved back to frostford with their granddaughter.  -- kelsi kept in touch with her mother’s parents over the years and often visited them on major holidays with her grandparents.  

the first few months were rough, however the next year once kelsi started kindergarten things opened up.  she was a pretty happy kid.  i’d describe her as that kid who hated seeing people upset and would do something to see them smile.  like go to the flower shop and pick up a flower for them and leave it anonymously on their locker the next day just bc she wanted to see people happy.  

was a sporty kid, played softball and soccer.  she was on teams in elementary school, except once it got more competitive her grandmother had to talk her out of going out for the team.  

kelsi is very competitive and like even at a young age was that #alot to handle.  like, she still needs to check herself even playing board games because she will like get all amped up and ready to go.  

oftentimes she was told to sit still in class.  would be found tapping her foot on the floor or clicking her pen.  she’s just antsy and needs to fidget a lot of the time.  she’s gotten better at that ( once again, it has to do with being older ) but she never uses pens with caps just because she prefers the clicky pens.  

TEENAGE years -- 

once she got into middle school kelsi was focusing more on academics.  she’d always been good with school work, but her focus was always popping into several different places.  she’d often be found reading outside books in classes or working on the nights homework at her desk.  

she also started becoming more and more opinionated around these years as well ( late middle school - high school ).  kelsi isn’t afraid to speak her mind and stand up for herself or others.  

once punched lance mccallum in the face after he grabbed her ass during the party homecoming weekend her freshman year of high school.  except, most people only remember the fact that she punched him, not what led up to it.  

involved in peer tutoring programs throughout high school.  it was also a way to help her make money once she got old enough to do it outside of the after school program.  

part of me says she gives off student body president vibes but i also know she would not cope well with that pressure because she’d want to please everybody and know it’s not possible.  so she was probably just like one of those popular smart kids.  

was part of a lot of after school activities, simply because she liked being busy.  but she’s also restless so sometimes she’d leave meetings for the clubs in the middle of it.  it was nothing personal, she just needed to be up and on her feet doing something else with her attention span.  but she always apologized after the fact.  

( NIGHTMARE TW ) she started having really bad nightmares around the middle of high school.  she’d always had nightmares, bad ones, even as a kid but for some reason they got worse over the years and several times in high school she woke her grandparents up with her nightmares.  which she always felt guilty about but they always told her it wasn’t an issue.  ( END TW )

CURRENT(ISH) years -- 

kelsi was really torn about going away to college or going somewhere close to home.  in the end, her choice was made for her based on the program she wanted and she went to ‘bama to pursue childhood education.  

she wound up commuting a lot of weekends and coming home often, so it wasn’t even like she was really gone.  there was a gap during her sophomore/junior year where she wasn’t home a bunch and that would be due to her breakup with her then boyfriend.  she just didn’t want to be around town as much and see him around.  ofc, she got over that and has since powered through ( i mean, she’s back here obviously ). 

kelsi went for a five year program, immediately going to graduate school after her college graduation in order to get her teaching certificate.  she’s certified in early childhood/childhood education  ( pre-k through 6th grade ).  

during college kelsi was living in an apartment with a couple of friends, splitting the rent on the place a couple of ways was easier.  plus, she had tried living on campus her first semester and had an awful experience so she made some friends and wound up living with them the rest of her time there.  

she’s got her first teaching job this year at the elementary school.  she taught before, but as a co-teacher while she was going to grad school.  this is her first year in charge of her own classroom and she’s excited as heck to be working with kindergartners.  she loves those tiny tots so freakin much!  

her favorite place has always been the drive in, just bc she loves movies a lot.  plus, the drive in is much better than sitting in a movie theater and she will go to the mat on that opinion any day.  

her grandparents retired and moved to a small retirement community/senior center area not too far from town.  and they gave their house to kelsi, since she’s their only grandchild and they could afford to continue paying for the house utilities as well as their new place.  

she’s got a year old mini goldendoodle named smee and he’s the light of her life.  she has a picture of him on her desk in the classroom.  

CONNECTIONS -- 

i do not yet have a connections page for kelsi but here’s some ideas

a best friend/ride or die that they’ve been friends since they were kiddos and they just really *clutches heart* love and support each other in every aspect of life.

maybe some cousins or something from town! i think the phillips fam has been in frostford for a while in my mind, there’s a chance she’s got some fam in town.  

she’s friendly so she’d probably have a lot of good friends and stuff.  

an unlikely duo which would be fun.  it would probably be someone who’s a bit harsher than kelsi is.  she’s got her moments, but she’s an all around happier person so someone who balances her out in that aspect. 

a first kiss/childhood crush maybe?

plots with her coworkers at the elementary/middle school 

friends turned to enemies & enemies turned to friends 

like this or message me for plots okay ily thanks for reading this bye

[slytherinspage]

So I guess this is going to be the story of me and my LDR (long distance relationship).

Before the actual story begins I wanna apology for my inability to tell stories, I don’t know why but all my friends seem to be great at telling stories, making them really thrilling and mine sound boring all the time although they weren’t when I was living them?? But anyway, let the story begin.

So it was on April 8th when we first started texting. The app we „met“ if u can say so is called ACEapp. Ironically I didn’t get the app because I was hoping to find my soulmate on there. I was just bored and thought texting some strangers would be a nice way to kill time. I don’t even identify as asexual since I‘m not labeling myself. So I texted pretty much everyone on this app within the first 48h. I had some great conversation but everything seemed not to last for longer than a day. One of the people I texted is now my boyfriend. What I know from what he told me is that he got the app because he felt lonely that night. He got plenty of messages but didn’t respond to any of them except mine. (Which is funny init because my first message was literally „how did u manage to only put one sentence in your bio“. I didn’t even say hi, haha). Plus he told me that he wouldn’t have responded if he wasn’t drinking with his friends and bored because he didn’t wanna talk to anybody who’s not from the UK (because of the distance). (Fun fact: They all shaved their heads that night, aha). So we started talking and I believe after an hour or so we switched to snapchat, which is probably why we continued talking.

It was different with him than with other people because whenever a conversation seemed to be dying we (mostly him at the beginning) just started a new one so we wouldn’t stop talking. He was really sweet from the beginning, sending me messages when I was asleep. I think that’s what made me realize his different and I can’t ever let him go again. The remarkable thing is that he went through a really rough time back then. (I don’t wanna go into detail since I feel like that doesn’t belong on this blog. But he told me more than once that if he haven’t met me, he probably wouldn’t be alive no more). But although he had so much stuff going on, he always stayed kind and caring, trying his best to make me feel like i matter and like everything I have to say matters. That’s probably why and when I started falling in love with him although I probably had no idea back then.

At this point I feel like maybe it would be interesting to have his side of the story as well, how he experienced it. Maybe I‘m going to ask him to write a paragraph himself at some point. But he probably cba to do so, haha.

So I think two weeks in was the first time we called. Drunk. I was too scared to do it sober since I wasn’t confident with my English. (I‘m Swiss and he‘s English). We called drunk for about 3-4 times. (I can‘t remember it exactly). One day I called him sober. Out of nowhere. It was awkward since I was so nervous. But then some days later I called again. For 4h this time. It felt like 20 minutes. And it went so well. I mean texting him was great but calling him was even better. (Edit: We made a deal to call and send a photo at least once a week. But after the first week there was no use for this deal no more). At first it was every few days, then daily. And after like a week we stopped ending calls when we went to bed. We called overnight and on the way to work. He got up earlier only for me. At some point I just switched to video call. Which he wasn’t happy about because he isn’t very confident about his looks. (So am I tbh). But he’s very good looking, believe me guys. Anyway luckily he played along.

I couldn’t remember who said „I love you“ first. Had to ask him. So we think it was me who said „ly“ first but over text early on but more to make him feel loved then to like confess feelings that probably weren’t even there back then. He texted „I love you“ first but when he was drunk and back then I don’t think he meant it like that. He said „I love you“ first on call, on our 3. call we did sober. It doesn’t seem like such a big deal so..you should know that he was very scared of falling in love and being hurt and thats why he didn’t wanna confess to himself he liked me.

So we decided pretty early that we wanna meet up. But it was me having a week of in September and wanting to go on holidays and not me wanting to meet up with him because I thought we could become a couple or something. We wanted to go to Greece. Changed plans later tho. The new plan was I would come and visit him so we could save money. It wasn’t till June tho when I finally booked. My flight was supposed to take off on August 30. I feel like towards the end of June, beginning of July things started to get more serious, the feelings got more serious. In the end of June I ordered him a birthday present. A sweater. He also ordered me one. I got two presents tho because my birthday was after his and he got me one to open earlier so I wouldnt have to wait that long. Mine was a hp themed pillow. I got mad so I ordered him a second one for his birthday. A spiderman funko pop. So I believe up till July he was always reminding me that we’re not together (thank you at this point boo, that wasn’t needed X) but at some point that change and he was asking if he could ask me out if things go well. I said yes but if he wants to make it official on a specific date he should choose a good one like the 1.9.19. (which would have been my third day at his). We also talked about stuff that comes with a relationship like kissing and sex. (On call btw). Because I am very afraid of failing and I‘ve never like kissed anyone or had sex because I have always been so scared. But everything was fine for him. Another reason why he was on the app was because he wanted things to go slowly this time. (Which they didnt really). So he would have been fine with just holding hands and we didnt think we would have sex before like 5 years into the relationship. (No spoilers but oh boy where we wrong, ahahah). So it was July 15, his birthday. I was at work when I realized I got 6 days off before I‘m going to a festival. And his birthday sesh would have been on July 20th and I was lowkey upset that I can’t be there. So I told him about it, told him I could book a flight on the upcoming friday (July 19th). At first he didnt want me to. It was a lot of money. But I booked it anyway. And suddenly I had no time no more to emotionally prepare myself for meeting him. There was no time to think about what could go wrong or what I‘m afraid of because I was at work all week long till I would fly. Also it was a big risk since I‘ve still had the other flight booked for September so if we wouldn’t get along, I would have lost money.

So the day before I flew we called overnight and he wished me a safe flight. I called him again before the take off. The next time I called him was when I was on the train to him in England and he was on the bus to come and pick me up. Everything was normal. Then we ended the call. And I can tell you guys not everything always goes perfectly at first. Our first meeting was horrible. I got off the train and didnt see him. He went up to me and hugged me. I wanted to hug him for longer or go in for a second hug but he turned me down. (Thank you very much boo, again X). He was shaking and talking very fast and high pitched because he was so nervous. Which made me nervous and I didn’t understand anything he was saying and I was so confused because I understood him perfectly on call but just not in person. Later he told me another reason he acted so weirdly was because he thought we were late for the bus. I carried my suitcase because I felt uncomfortable. We were sitting at the bus station, talking about random things I cannot remember. It was weird and awkward. We got on the bus. Stopped talking. He wouldn’t take my hand or anything. I saw my face in a mirror and felt so ugly. I started crying because I thought now he saw me in person, thinks I‘m ugly and doesn’t like my personality and well doesn’t like me no more. And now I have to spend 6 days with him and I still like him and it hurts. He hold my hand when I was crying which made me feel better but as soon as I stopped he let go which made it worse cos I felt like he was only holding my hand because I was crying not because he liked me. So we got off the bus and walked to his. He wanted to carry my suitcase but I wanted to do it myself because I thought he wouldn’t like me and I didn’t wanted him to do it because he feels bad (which is a. a stupid reason and b. stupid cos I got asthma). So after a while he took my suitcase anyway. We got to his and I met his dad briefly. I was very tired so I laid down in his bed. He asked me if he should lay down with me. I said that I don’t care. (Because I still thought he didnt like me). He then said but ob call I asked him to do so and then he laid down. And he asked if he could spoon me. Which got me really confused so I went like „do you still wanna spoon me then?“ And he said like ofc he want to. So we laid down for like 3h and all the awkwardness kinda disappeared. I felt comfortable.

We then had to go because on that day there was a charity event of his family. Which definitely didn‘t gave me anxiety at all. I met his mother, his siblings, aunts, cousins and all his friends. Luckily there was a bar in this building, haha. I can’t remember if we were holding hands or anything. Obviously a lot of people had questions and were wondering if we were together. (I still thought he doesn’t like me and just accepted it). Because it was the 19.07.19 and I said I would also consider that as a date cos there are two 19s in it. But when someone asked (I don’t remember who) I think he asked me if it would be okay for me and then he told them that I am indeed his girlfriend.

The next day we went on a walk in the morning. (He lives by the sea). Almost no one was there besides some people walking there dogs. Felt like nintendogs in real life, aha. He later said it was the most romantic walk he ever had. Later that day there was his birthday bbq at his. I went to bed at some point because I was so tired. Then we went out with his friends. We went to three bars. Up to this point no kissing or anything. Only cuddling at night. He was drunk and I was maybe a little tipsy. He said something along „If there weren’t so many people and you were comfortable I would kiss you right now.“ We went to a club. I felt a bit sick which was why I wanted a glass of water and to sit down. Everyone else was dancing but we were sitting there talking. Unfortunately I can’t remember what his exact words were but I think he asked me if he could kiss me or just go for it. He thought I would turn him down but I kissed him back. Also maybe my hand went down his pants but who knows. We then went home. He stared at me for the whole 30min walk. It was almost scary. I remember telling him I‘m sorry but I can’t do this. By this I mean wanking him off or giving him a bj. (Btw could my post get flagged?? I hope not.) Although I‘ve liked tried it and for a girl that has never kissed someone, never kisses someone with tongue, never touched a dick or had one in her mouth I feel like I‘ve done a pretty good job doing all that in one night, on my second day with him. And I was almost sober so. Anyway at this point I got anxious again. But I took my shirt of (when spooning) and told him but we can do this and took his hand, placed it on my boob. But then I started kissing him again. We didn’t have had sex that night tho. He was too drunk.

The next morning we showered together. (Which was my idea). And from that day on we always showered together. I think that day we went to the cinema with a friend of his. We didn’t do a lot when I was there just because we have a lot of things planned for September, the first two days were very stressful and we wanted to use the time to get to know each other. So that day we had sex and were sober. But apart from that we spent a lot of tim cuddling and watching films. Nothing too exiting but we never got bored because somehow we never get bored when being together and we can talk for hours or just be cuddling. I was so happy being with him, I don’t regret anything and I can’t wait to see him again in 33 days.

So there you have it. The story with the happy ending. Let’s hope the happy ending lasts forever.

[howtobangyourmonster]

Boris, Part 1

Since people seem to like Boris and there have been requests for a story, here it is! A bit holiday-flavored and late, but I hope you like it anyway. It’s just a big pile of awkward adorkable fluff.

Part 2(nsfw)

There's this great coffee shop in my neighborhood. It's trendy and bit hipster-ish, really popular with the college crowd. I don't actually like coffee, but I brave the early morning pre-lecture rush because they make the most amazing London Fog in the city.

I like Thursdays the best because that's when their cutest barista has the morning shift. I extra don't mind getting up early for my morning cuppa on Thursdays. I'm not the only one with that opinion either, because I swear there's a good fifty per-cent more customers on Thursday mornings than the rest of the week.

This Thursday it was pouring buckets outside, and I was grateful to duck into the cafe and warm up a bit. I guess the rain was dissuading some of the regulars because the line was shorter than I'd expected. Boris, the cute barista, smiles as I approach the counter. I always wonder how he knows it's me, he doesn't have eyes(at least not that I can discern). Maybe it's scent? Oh, god, I hope not, sometimes I don't have time to shower before I come in...

“Hey, Boris!”

“Good morning! Pretty bad out there today, huh?”

“Ugh, yeah, it's like monsoon season or something.”

“Your usual?”

“Yep! Thanks.” I swipe my card and take my receipt. Sometimes I try flirty banter with him, but I'm so bad at it and I think he must cringe at my sad attempts. He's always very gracious about it and laughs at my terrible puns.

I thumb idly through my instagram while I wait. He says my name with a smile, and our fingers brush as he hands me my cup. It might sound depressing, but our brief interaction is kinda the highlight of my week. I glance down at my cup and see the little doodle of a smiling raincloud he's drawn there instead of writing my name. It's different each week. I don't keep them, I'm not that far-gone, but I do have a collection of snaps of all the doodles that I like to look through when I'm having a hard time.

I sip my London Fog in my depressing cubicle at my soul-crushing job as a glorified code monkey. The happy little rain cloud on the cup cheers me up enough that I manage to slog through the day. Maybe I'll draw him something, Christmas is coming up, I could make him a card. I'm certainly not doing much with my MFA in this hellhole.

When I get back to my apartment, I pull out my pencils and gouache supplies and start sketching.

It's almost Christmas. I haven't had as much time to work on Boris's card as I'd like. Dad's getting worse and I've been spending a lot of time helping Mom out taking care of him. I can tell we're getting close to the end, and so can she. Most of the time, she's barely keeping it together. I'm trying to be strong, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I cried myself to sleep more often than not.

The coffee shop is packed, people filling the sofas and chairs and booths, the snow outside painting the city white and making for a picture-perfect holiday scene. I get in line and check my email while I wait. When it's my turn, I put my phone away and look up, and immediately have to suppress the giggle threatening to spill out.

Boris is wearing a red santa hat with a little bell on the end, and it makes him look so cute that I nearly implode. The red of the hat brings out the pinker tones of his violet skin. He's got a holiday sweater on, too, completing the look. His shoulder spikes poke through the knit fabric.

“You're looking very festive today!”

“Yeah, 'tis the season, and all. Hey, I'm sorry, but I ran out of earl grey earlier, I sent Sasha out to get more, but...”

My heart half-sank. “Oh, that's okay, um, I can just have...”

“Actually,” he interrupted, “I've been wanting to try something, if you're up for it. You kinda inspired me.”

I'm a bit taken aback by that. I inspired him? I have to tell inner-teenage-me to calm down. “Uh, I'm game!”

“Great.” Boris grinned, showing off his tusks and sharp teeth. “I picked up this orange gingerbread chai at the import market this weekend, and it immediately made me think of you.”

He turned and busied himself with the tea, glancing over and smiling at me every so often. Truth be told, my heart was pounding and I felt like I was in tenth grade again and Jake LeSalle noticed me. Boris picks up his sharpie and scribbles on the side of the cup. He hands me the drink and I don't know if it's my mind playing tricks on me, or if his fingers linger a little longer against mine as I take it from him.

“Uh, wow, it smells great!” I take a sip. “Mmmm, oh, wow, that's really good. This definitely needs to go on the menu board.”

“Yeah?” his grin widens. “Ah, I'm so glad you like it!”

“Yeah, totally, I love yo-this, I love this, that you made, I love that you made this for me.” Oh, for fucking sake...

Boris half-smiles and rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “Ha, yeah, you're welcome, I guess...well, have a good day!”

Oh god, he's embarrassed for me. That was so bad. I can never come back here. “Thanks,” I reply, “you too!”

Turning to hide my shame, I glance down at the coffee cup in my hand. Instead of the usual adorable doodle, it's a phone number. A phone number, and a little heart. Oh...

My face is on fire and I glance back up, but Boris is talking to the next customer and I can't catch his attention. Instead I push back through the morning crowd and toward the door. I need some air, even cold snowy air.

It takes me all week to work up the nerve to call him. And of course he doesn't answer and I get his voicemail instead. I panic and hang up. Then call back.

“Hey, sorry, it was me earlier, the hang-up message. Sorry. I already said that. Sorry I didn't call sooner, god I'm apologizing a lot. Um, I guess you're busy, so...call me back when you can? Okay, uh, bye.”

I hang up, groan, and bury my face in my hands lest the objects in my apartment witness my shame. I jump as my phone suddenly rings. “Hello?”

“Hey, hi, it's Boris.”

“Oh, uh, hi!”

“Hi.”

Awkward pause. Why isn't he saying anything? “So...”

“Uh,” I hear him clear his throat. “So, I was wondering if you'd maybe like go ice skating with me Saturday? At the Pavilion?”

“Yeah, yes, I'd love that!” Stop saying 'love' so much!

“Great! Want to meet me at the shop, say 7? We can walk together?”

“That sounds perfect.” I try to keep the elation in my voice in check. “I'll see you then.”

“See you then.” I can hear the smile in his voice, though.

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

I hang up, and sit for a moment, the blood rushing in my ears. I have a date. I have a date with Boris. I have a totally romantic ice skating date with Boris the hot barista. Not even my shit job can kill my buzz. I realize I still haven't finished his card, and pull out my paints. It's pretty simple, just a study of the coffee shop from the outside, in the snow, though a violet figure can be glimpsed through the window. I just hope he doesn't think it's childish, a homemade card.

Boris is waiting outside the shop for me when I walk up. He has two cups in his clawed hands, steam rising from them. He has a wool peacoat on over his usual sweater and jeans, though this one seems to have been made for him. His shoulder spikes don't poke through. Boris hands me one of the cups.

“I know you don't like coffee, but how about hot chocolate?” He smiles at me over the thick scarf wrapped around his neck.

“I love hot chocolate! Thank you.” I smile back at him as I take the cup. “Shall we?”

We start slowly strolling along the sidewalk, the crunch of snow under our feet. The trees that line the street are decked out in string lights and everything feels magical. I love this time of year.

“I've been wanting to ask you out for a long time, you know.” Boris is looking straight ahead, but he has a little smirk on his face.

“Yeah? What stopped you?” I have to admit, I am curious.

“To be honest, I wasn't sure if you were into me or not. I mean, we flirt and I draw pictures on your cup, but I couldn't tell if we were just friendly flirting or flirting flirting, you know?”

“Wait, don't you draw pictures on everyone's cups? I just thought that was something you did?”

“No,” Boris looks down at me, his expression warm and affectionate. “Just for you.”

He reaches over and takes my hand in his, long claws resting lightly against the back of my hand. I swallow, thickly.

“Oh.” is all I can manage.

We walk in silence for a ways after that, my hand in his. His skin isn't rough, but it is firmer than mine, and surprisingly warm. The Pavilion comes into view ahead of us, lights and festive garlands all over it, the sound of the carousel music wafting out at us.

Inside, there is a modest ice rink next to the antique wooden carousel. I haven't been ice skating since I was a kid, and I tell him so.

“Neither have I, actually. It's okay, we can support each other.”

Boris and I pick up our skates from the counter and lace in. He's already steadier on his feet than I am, but we're both pretty slow and careful as we step onto the ice. We sort of shuffle along slowly, me clinging to his side like a barnacle. It's pretty nice, almost like cuddling.

After about an hour of clinging to each other and falling down, repeatedly, we decide our egos and knees are bruised enough. We grab some food at one of the food trucks outside the Pavilion and settle onto one of the benches near the carousel.

We chat over steaming bowls of rice and bulgogi and I learn he has an older sister and a younger brother, but both his parents have passed. I talk a bit about my dad, but I don't go into details, too heavy for a first date. Boris is a really good listener. We discover we share a love of terrible horror movies.

“Yeah, my great-uncle actually played the monster in that one.”

“You're kidding!” I gasp. “You're related to Chneya Szim?! I looooove 'Horror From The Deep'!”

“Ha, he'd have loved to hear that, he was such a ham. That whole side of my family was big in the industry back in the '50s.” Boris grins, fork in hand. I'm always amazed at how expressive his face is, even without eyebrows or eyes. The folds on the upper half of his face are much more flexible and pliant than they seem at first glance.

“How'd your family get involved in that?”

“Well, my great-great-grandparents were first-generation extradimensionals, back when the tears were uncontrolled, they just kinda fell through. My great-great-grandpa was working construction on a backlot when some character actor quit and they needed someone fast. The director saw him, and let's be honest, we're waaaay scarier than the foam and rubber suits you humans were wearing back then in the movies.” Boris looks a little sad. “He didn't really like playing monsters in movies, I guess back in our dimension he was some kind of professor, but work was hard to find and he had kids by that point, you know?”

“I'm sorry.” I have a sharp stab of guilt about my earlier enthusiasm for basically ex-ploitation flicks.

“Hey, it was the '50s, right? Anyway, it kind of became a family business, and my great-uncle really took to it well. Thus spawning the 'Horrors' franchise.” He grimaces. “The whole disco-phase in the '70s embarrassed the hell out him, though.”

“What disco-phase? Everyone knows 'Return to the Deep' was the last 'Horrors' film.” I reply, gamely.

“Oh, of course! I'm mistaken.” he laughs. “What about you? Other than your latte order and your penchant for horror movies, I don't actually know a whole lot about you.”

“Uh, what do you want to know?”

“Everything.” His face is so open and earnest. I swallow my discomfort.

“Well, I got my MFA at XSU a few years ago, and I do web design for some local corporations, I work mainly at an office share downtown, but I do some stuff from home. It's kind of soul-killing, to be honest. When I graduated, I thought I was gonna take over the world, you know, and instead I'm grinding away at a 9-to-5 in a cubicle, well, more like 7-to-6.”

“You don't do any of your own stuff anymore?” Boris asks.

“I do a little, when I have time, but between work and helping out at home, I mean at my folks' place, there's not a lot of energy left over for my own art. I do miss it though, creating something just for the joy of it.” I dig around in my purse. “Actually, the last thing I made of my own is for you.”

I hand him the card in it's red envelope. He turns it over slowly, examining it in some way I can't understand. “This is for me?”

“Yeah, I hope you like it.” I bite my lip, very nervous.

Boris slices the envelope open with one claw and pulls out the card. On the front is my watercolor of the coffee shop. After a moment, he opens the card and appears to be reading, his brows coming together. I had tried to keep my message simple and not too romantic, in case the date went badly.

“This is...beautiful. Thank you.” he looks back up at me. “You painted this?”

“Yeah, it was nice to flex my watercolor muscles. I'm glad you like it.”

“It's really good. Why don't you show your work in galleries? There's that art walk every first Friday of the month, we always hang up local artists' work in the shop.”

“The gallery scene in this city is ridiculously hard to break into, unless you know someone or you get 'discovered' I guess.”

“You should let me hang some of your work up in the shop, there's a gallery guy who comes in all the time. I'm sure he'd love your stuff.”

“Are you sure?” I ask. “That's really sweet, but I don't want to get you in trouble with your boss...”

“I am the boss.” Boris states, flatly.

I blink. “What?”

“I own the shop. It's mine. I live in the apartment above it.”

“Oh, I didn't, I feel silly for assuming you just worked there, now.” I reply. I guess I never thought about how old he was, extradimensionals don't really visibly age, I assumed he was close to my own age and just working in the coffee shop. “How old are you? Just, I realized I don't actually know, and-”

“And you suddenly worry you're out with a 50-year-old guy?” he jokes.

“Not that that's bad, or anything!” I try to recover, in case he really is 50.

“I'm 32.” he responds. Oh, well then.

“And you own your own business, nice.”

“Don't be too impressed, I inherited it from my folks. Tycha, my sister, wasn't interested in running the shop, and Zloan went into film like Dad's side of the family. Except he's directing instead of acting. So it's me.”

“Do you like running the shop?” I ask.

“I do. I really do. I love the sense of community. I grew up here, you know, and while I've traveled my fair share, I always knew I was going to come back here to stay.”

“Well, I'm glad for that, you make the best London Fog in the city.”

“Ha, so I've been told.”

Our walk back to the shop is easy and slow, our conversation drifting back to horror movies, then to horror novels, books in general, the writing-a-novel-at-the-coffee-shop trope, and some amusing stories about his regulars. He walks me the extra distance to my place, after asking if it's okay. Apparently he had me meet him at the coffee shop in case I didn't want him to know where I lived, in case the date went poorly. Turns out we're both pragmatic realists. Or pessimists. Whichever. I do not mind him knowing where I live.

“I had a really great time tonight, thanks for inviting me out.” I say as we pause at my door.

“I had a really great time, too. I'm really glad you called.” he smiles down at me, hands in his coat pockets, as he leans against the wall. “Eventually.”

He's teasing me. I deserve it.

“Yeah, well, I had to work up the nerve, you're intimidatingly handsome.” I toss back.

He ducks his head down and chuckles. “Well, I'm glad you think so. Can I see you again?”

“Yes, absolutely. If you want, we can stay in and watch terrible horror movies, order some delivery?”

He straightens up and gives me a satisfied half-smile. “It's a date. Can I kiss you goodnight?”

“Absolutely.”

We both lean in to the kiss, his hand brushing my cheek as I stretch up on my tiptoes because he's just so damn tall. After a few moments I feel his tongue brush against my mouth and I part my lips slightly. Boris deepens the kiss, his tusks ghosting over my skin. I sigh into his mouth as we part.

“That was a hell of a first kiss.” he remarks, sounding a little breathless.

“I have high hopes for the second one, too.” I can't hide my smile as I open my door. “Goodnight, Boris. See you Thursday.”

“Goodnight.”

[pinesconessecrets]

Adventure days

For @artificeblade

“Dipper, are you sure about this?” asked Wirt, taking the Fisher-Price’s camera from the younger boy. “I-it sounds dangerous!”

 “Well, that’s why you are coming with me!” he answered, smiling at him “Besides, we’re taking this to defend ourselves from the monster!” he said showing him a sword. A plastic sword, obviously.

Wirt gasped. That was awesome.

“I know, right?!” Dipper smiled one last time, before putting on his best serious face. Which, considering he was five years old, wasn’t all that serious. “Let’s… dissect some monsters”

 “What does that mean?” asked Wirt with a frown in his face.

“I don’t know, but it is something that my uncles say a lot when talking about hunting monsters so… I suppose it’s really, really bad and sciency”

“Ohh… yeah, it sounds sciency”

The two boys began to walk down the hallway, both with tiny-ninja-quiet steps to don’t be heard by the monster that they knew lived in the closet at the end of the hall. They had heard it groan, and they could swear to anyone that the monster was the one who stole food from the fridge from time to time. They had even heard it chew! But it all would end that day. Because Dipper was a Pines, and the Pines were the best monster hunters in the world! And, with his best friend Wirt by his side, that ugly monster didn’t stand a chance.

Or so they thought, but when they finally were in front of the closet’s doors, none of them dared to open it.

So, like the little civilized gentlemen they were, they decided to play rock-paper-scissors to determinate which one of them would open the doors. And Wirt was the one selected by the universe to do the work.

“I have your back” whispered Dipper. And Wirt relaxed by those words, without stopping to think that the monster would still have total access to his front. Kids don’t complicate their life like that, people.

He opened the door. And an avalanche of clothes, books, balls, toys and all the kind of useless stuff a person can have but resist to throw to the trash because they think it could probably-maybe-I don’t know be useful later buried the kids. And, as if it were a cherry on top of a cake, a walkie-talkie landed on top of the little mountain of trash.

“What was that noi- hey, Sixer! I found your other walkie-talkie!”

That incident would later pass to the history as the “Kinda closet fail”, because even if they didn’t find a monster, they found something important. So, not a real fail. Between laughs and apology brownies, Wirt, who was really enjoying his English lessons, decided to write in the journal his mother gave him for Christmas their little adventure.

While he internally whished for more to come.

++++

Only a week later the two boys found themselves in another adventure. Discovering what was causing Mom Cone’s sickness. The poor lady had been really sick of her stomach, and that had Wirt very worried.

“Wha-what if it isn’t just something she ate, uh?! What if it is an… an alien growing in her tummy!!” shrieked Wirt, pacing around the tiny tree house that Dipper’s uncles ‘helped’ to build.

“An alien?”

“Yes! Doesn’t it make sense?” he asked, tilting his head with confusion.

“Oh, yes, of course it makes sense. I was just asking for confirmation” he said, grabbing his briefcase with ‘Doctor stuff’ “Let’s take that alien out of your mom!”

Riding their bikes they quickly arrived to the Cone’s house, where they knew their 'patient’ was calmly resting, completely unaware of the danger she was in. They carefully tiptoed their way to the bedroom, opened the door and began to work.

“Do you hear it, Wirt?”

“Umm… no, not really. Maybe- oh my god!!“he screamed, almost dropping the old stethoscope Dipper had 'borrowed’ from Ford.

"What?!! What is it?!!”

“I think I heard it!” he explained “yes, I’m hearing it!”

“How does it sound?”

“Like… a heartbeat? I didn’t know aliens had hearts”

“Of course they do! They are born with three, and they eat human hearts to become more powerful! For god’s sake Wirt, what do you learn at school?!”

While the boys were discussing which way was the best to take the alien out of the surprisingly still asleep woman, the front door was opened and a man entered the house.

“Samara! Honey, I got your results! We are gonna have a- kids? What are you doing here?”

After a frantic explanation from the boys, and a calm and kid-friendly explanation from Mr. Cone, everything was clear. There was no alien inside of Wirt’s mom, she was just pregnant.

“So…I’m going to have a brother or sister?”

“Yes, Wirt” smiled his mom while ruffling his hair.

“So…” began Dipper.

“So?”

“So I guess I don’t need these?” he asked holding a pair of tweezers “Or should I save them for later?”

++++

Years passed, and they keep going on adventures and solving mysteries. The other kids may not want to play or do anything with them, but that was fine for them. They didn’t need anyone else. They were a duo, after all. The only one that could hang with them was Greg, and that was only in non-dangerous activities. The forest wasn’t a place for kids, just for full grown men like them.

“Do you see anything, Wirt?” a twelve year old Dipper asked, his hands holding the binoculars he was using “Any clue that could guide us to the Fairies’ realm?”

“No, there’s nothing over here. Just the quiet of the forest, as if holding its breath. Oh, what kind of destiny is waiting for us? What kind of sick comedy will our life… wait, who is she?”

“You know, I was really liking your poem, but I didn’t expect it to suddenly become so Romeo-like.”

“What? No! I was asking you who is that girl!” he said pointing to a girl meters away from where they were “I have never seen her”

“You are right… she probably is a ghost! Let’s go meet her!” he jumped of the tree and began running toward the girl.

“Wait, Dipper!”

++++

Turns out, the girl wasn’t a ghost. She was Dipper’s twin sister, who was raised by their parents. Needless to say, Dipper wasn’t happy about that. And who would be, after finding out your own parents didn’t want you for being a freak right since you were born?

“Come on, Dipper, open the door” begged Wirt, knocking softly on the door “Just, please, let me in”

“Go away” he sniffed, arms around himself as if to give the comfort he was refusing.

“Don’t make me sing that Frozen song!”

There was a silence, which was soon ended by Dipper’s laugh.

“Frozen? Really? We both know you weren’t born to sing, Wirt” he laughed “Besides, even if you did it, I wouldn’t have opened the door because Elsa didn’t”

“Oh… right. I forgot.”

Awkward silence. And then…

“So? Are you gonna sing or what?”

“Oh my god Dipper”

“What? Anna never stopped trying!”

++++

Even if their summer had a rough start with the appearance of Mabel, the rest of it wasn’t so bad. The girl accompanied them in their adventures, and even if at first Wirt was mad for that, once he knew her he actually liked her. Mabel was really funny and sweet, and dislike her just for wanting to spend time with her brother was stupid.

The years kept passing, and every summer Mabel went to Gravity Falls. Every summer the three went on adventures, or passed their time just hanging out or talking. But, eventually, things changed. College happened. And none of them went to the same college, so the only time they could really spend time together was at summer. But they didn’t do the stuff they used to, because they weren’t kids anymore. They talked, worked, did projects or just rested after a really hard semester. The golden days were over, it was time to grow up and live an adult’s life. Even if it sucked.

++++

Wirt was looking at the window, cup of tea in his hand and lost in thought. He couldn’t help it, sometimes his mind just wandered as a lost kid in the woods and…

“Here we go again” he thought, shaking his head to try and clear his mind. He looked up to see his boyfriend, and found him doing calculations, probably trying to see if they weren’t having any money problems. Again. Living together was amazing, yes, but it was really difficult too, especially because they were in their last year of college and their part time jobs paid just enough to cover rent and the basic stuff. On the bright side? At least they both had a scholarship.

“Dipper? Leave that, you’ll only get a headache”

“It’s fine, Wirt. I’m almost done, anyway” he answered, a tired smile on his face. Wirt sighed. He loved his boyfriend, but he could really be a knucklehead. He kept looking around to distract himself until Dipper was done. And then he saw it. Under a lot of literature and physics books, its pages old and the words on the cover almost erased, there it was. Their adventures book. That book that had been with them in every adventure they had ever had. The book that had been abandoned for years. “Dipper? Do you wanna go out?”

“Umm… I don’t know Wirt, it’s really late and-”

“You sure you don’t wanna go on an adventure?” he said showing him the book, a playful smile on his lips and offering him his other hand. Dipper just stared at him. Then he just laughed and grabbed his hand.

“Got any reports of paranormal activity, agent Cone?”

“Of course I do. There have been reports of people seeing ghosts at the park down the street. You ready, agent Pines?”

“Yes! Let’s go find those ghosts!”

The rest of the night was just the two of them running, recording, and laughing.

They were laying on the grass, panting heavily after 'running away from some ghosts’. And no, they weren’t just normal people that stared at them as if they were crazy. Of course not! After recovering their breath they looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. What if they weren’t kids anymore? It didn’t stop them from having fun doing what they liked. It didn’t stop them from being happy with simple things like lay on the grass holding hands and looking at the sky.

Love was all what they needed, after all.  

+++++++++

N/A: Hope you like it!! Sorry if there’s any mistake, I’m not very good at english.

Happy holidays! :D  

[beanplague-moved]

my @aphsecretsanta gift for @reyeslala! happy slightly belated holidays, i’m not sure I captured the best of them here—i have a kind of particular characterization of bela and i’ve never written spain extensively until this project, but i had a lot of fun. i kinda pictured him as a very fumbling romantic.

all that aside, i really hope you enjoy it! i tried to touch on all the prompts without being heavyhanded, and there’s unrequited lietbel in there for the sake of a sort of compare/contrast thing.

read it on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13198962

There’s some kid sitting at Natalya’s bus stop. She tries not to pay him any mind, but he’s just so happy. It’s incredibly distressing.

Natalya has been taking this same bus to work almost every day for the last five years or so, and she has never encountered this unfamiliar entity. He sits at the other end of the bench, humming contentedly—probably to some music playing over his headphones, it sounds far too cheery for Natalya’s taste—as he waits for the bus.

Natalya tries not to pay him any mind. He probably won’t be here tomorrow, anyway.

He’s there tomorrow. And the day after that.

He’s becoming quite the regular to public transport, and Natalya would usually assume that two or three days of taking the bus and likely the subway would chase away any semblance of joy related to the experience. Yet still, he keeps on smiling when sitting at the stop.

He waves at Natalya when she arrives at the stop today, and she raises her eyebrows at him.

She takes a good look at this kid. He’s relatively normal looking. He doesn’t seem to be a rampant serial killer, though Natalya isn’t known for her ability to read others.

(That might be evidenced by the fact that she believes one must be a serial killer to enjoy riding the bus, or wave to strangers.)

He isn’t bad looking—he’s kind of cute, in an objective sense. Natalya thinks he’s a bit too handsome for her taste. All her partners in the past have had pretty obvious flaws, which Natalya appreciated. This guy seems a bit too unreal for her. Sun-kissed skin and messy but not too messy hair. He’s like someone lifted directly from a magazine her sister might’ve read when they were younger.

He wears an apron, so Natalya assumes he’s heading to a workplace of some kind. Probably a Starbucks or something. He’s been wearing the same headphones since his first day at the bus stop.

Natalya figures he’s a new regular, and pays him no mind. If he wants to be disproportionately happy with public transportation, who is she to stop him?

He says, “hi!” when Natalya passes him on an early morning. It isn’t the best decision he could’ve made. Natalya has barely slept for the past few days.

There’s this meeting coming up, and Natalya’s boss—who she would usually describe as, “an American asshole who’s never known hardship a day in his life,” but for the sake of her sanity, she refers to as Mr. Jones—says she’s up for a promotion. So all this weekend she’s been preparing for this meeting, and she’s going to be preparing for it until the day it comes around, because like hell is she going to be here, riding the bus to work everyday, only so she can sit in a cubicle and file everyone else’s cases.

So yeah, she’s a bit on edge today, and she glares at the new bus regular. He looks confused—like he’s not sure what he’s done wrong, which, yeah, is to be expected—and then quickly tilts his head curiously at Natalya.

She keeps her chin up and ignores him. There’s no point in caring about how a stranger might perceive her. Hell, Natalya barely cares about how people she knows and talks to regularly perceive her.

Natalya looks like shit, and she realizes it as soon as she gets home and looks in the mirror. Her eyes are sunken and tired-looking. Her hair is a mess.

She has a face that was often described as delicate when she was younger. Fair-skinned and free of blemishes. Long, shining blonde hair and simple, thin features. Nowadays she does little to keep up that image. Fuck that, she’d rather be this than continue that reputation of some angelic, perfectly kept young lady.

It is better to be unbroken than it is to be fragile. It is better to be rough around the edges and clearly visible than it is to be blurry, hard to comprehend. And she’d do anything nowadays to prevent that softness from creeping into her.

Her hardness is an immunity to the outside world and its effects. If there is one chink in her armor, it flies by unnoticed, because the world can’t attack Natalya. No one can.

It’s best, that way.

That same guy who’s been riding her bus everyday stands up when Natalya approaches the stop, and honest to God, he bows.

He bows, and holds out a hand to her. Natalya raises an eyebrow. She’s almost entirely sure that they’re at a bus stop in Queens, not some kind of renaissance faire where it's commonly accepted that one bows to those they’ve wronged.

She should be clear, it’s not a full on bow. He doesn’t bend at the waist and declare his subservience. Nor does he fall to the knee at the sight of her. He simply lowers himself a bit and holds out a hand.

“I, uh,” He laughs, “I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to do this. I’m sorry?” He tries, and he keeps talking, “I said hi to you when you came to the stop the other day, but you kind of glared at me, and that got me thinking, is it not protocol to say hi to people here? And then I started overthinking and I wanted to apologize, if you’d let me.”

Natalya is a little bit shorter than him. She glances at his green apron to see that his name tag says Antonio C. She glances back up at his hopeful eyes, and denying his apology now would be kind of a cheap shot, like kicking a sick puppy or something.

She shrugs, “It doesn’t matter,” She says, “I’ve been having a bad week, you’re a stranger. Seemed an easy solution.” She speaks in the same level tone that she always does.

“Ah, okay,” He seems sort of relieved, still sort of confused, “thank you, miss…?”

“It doesn’t matter,” She repeats.

“Miss It Doesn’t Matter, then,” He smiles, and Natalya isn’t the best at reading people, but he sounds amused, “I’m looking forward to riding the same bus with you.”

“You shouldn't be.” She says, deadpan. “I’m not.”

It’s quiet from then on, but the silence is less confrontational. Maybe that’s an improvement.

At work, there’s this guy. He likes Natalya, and it’s all very sweet aside from the fact that she couldn’t be bothered to feign interest in him.

Toris is nice—far too nice, in Natalya’s opinion. One really should use discretion with those they are kind to—and he isn’t bad looking. Quite the opposite, but he isn’t Natalya’s type. Not even Natalya really knows what “Natalya’s type” is.

He stutters when he talks to her and smiles when he thinks of her, and it’s nice. It’s nice to be liked by someone, she can admit that much, but aside from the ego-boost, it does little for her. She avoids him, most of the time.

“Ms. Arlovskaya,” He refers to her, and he goes pink in the face when she looks at him, “I have some cases you should look over.”

“Toris,” She returns, and he hands her the files, and it’s over. Natalya thinks little of the interaction, because she thinks little of Toris.

Antonio thinks of Natalya as a friend, or so it seems. He smiles when he sees her and he exudes this warmth that just gets warmer when she’s nearby. She thinks, maybe, in a way, he might like her. More than other people do, anyway. It feels good, being liked by Antonio. It makes her question what “her type” might be.

“Miss It Doesn’t Matter,” Antonio greets her at the bus stop. It’s a Friday, today, and he’s been greeting her like this all week, “It’s nice to see you again.”

“Did you hear something?” She says to no one, “I swear, there’s something insignificant flying near my ears, making noises,” She pauses dramatically, and there’s this primal amusement that’s hard to suppress, “Oh, it’s just you.” She turns to Antonio.

“Very funny,” He smiles, and she thinks he means it. It’s kind of weird, how genuine he is. Natalya can’t imagine being so happy in public, but she is smiling a bit when she talks to him.

The non-confrontational silence is getting very friendly as of late, and Natalya thinks more about it. She’s been thinking a lot more about Antonio, lately.

Natalya’s sister wants to visit. Natalya’s boss wants her to do some overtime shifts. Natalya’s brother wants her to come home for the holidays. Natalya’s friends—if she had any—would probably want to steal her time if they could.

Natalya takes her boss’s offer. It’s the best decision, if she wants that promotion.

Antonio thinks Natalya looks very unhappy lately.

“You seem very independent. Are you a scorpio?” He asks, and Natalya raises an eyebrow. Their bus is late. “I’m an aquarius.”

“A virgo, actually.” She says, and she doubts he’d expect her to be superstitious. Still, she researches the signs, and so she asks, “I don’t see much of an aquarius in you.”

He looks surprised, and then a smile creeps onto his face and he scratches the back of his neck. “Well, you’d have to get to know me better.”

Natalya might like to get to know him better. Maybe.

It rains during her overtime shift, and it’s all very depressing, watching the rain hit the windows as it slowly gets darker, but she always packs an umbrella. She’ll be fine, if a little less motivated.

By the time she clocks out, it’s absolutely pouring outside. She catches the bus without a drop of rainwater on her. Her heavy utility umbrella is good for something, at least.

When she gets to her bus stop—the one she catches in the mornings and gets off at in the evening—she’s surprised to see Antonio there, shivering on the bench. He’s soaking wet.

He looks up at her, before smiling that stupid smile. “You might not believe it, but I didn’t actually know it was going to rain today.”

“I believe it.” Natalya says, holding her umbrella over her. It’s black, and it’s made for the rainiest of days. It kind of looks like she’s heading to a funeral, honestly.

He scratches the back of his neck and coughs, “I thought it’d be better to wait here so I could get dry before trying to walk back and get more, you know, soaked.”

“I see,” Natalya says, and that’s kind of the dumbest thing she’s ever heard. It’s cold out here. He’s certainly going to get a cold. “And how’s that working out?”

“Bad,” He’s still laughing. He’s so happy, all the time. It’s like it’s effortless for him, and Natalya has a lot of feelings geared towards that particular facet of his personality. They’re all very confusing emotions, most of the time.

(And when they aren’t confusing, they’re crystal clear. Envy and anger and frustration, but also a sort of hope that she’ll catch it from him one day.)

And Natalya analyzes the situation, and she’s completely dry save for her shoes, which are touching the wet pavement and are therefore getting wetter by the minute. Usually she’d hurry to her apartment to lessen the damage, but instead she contemplates her actions before handing him her umbrella.

“Pay it forward,” She says, and he looks up at her like she’s doing something very generous and very stupid. She agrees. “I’ll be fine.” He takes the umbrella silently, nodding at her.

She walks home in the pouring rain. It’s cold and annoying and she feels awful, but there’s something warm and unidentifiable in her chest that has grown slowly since she gave him the umbrella.

Whatever. She takes a hot shower and goes to bed in dry clothes. Sleep-wise, it’s one of the best nights she’s had in ages.

The morning greets Natalya with a particularly powerful case of the sniffles. Antonio greets her with the umbrella and a bouquet of flowers.

“I thought repayment might be in order,” He smiles, and there must be some dial inside of him that allows him to turn up the charm on a whim. Natalya certainly feels the effects of it. “Thank you, you did me a favor, Miss It Doesn’t Matter.”

“Natalya.” She says, and he tilts his head, “My name. It’s Natalya. You’ve been calling me by that nickname the whole time.”

“Natalya,” He says, testing the sounds in his mouth. “It suits you. I love it. Are you sick?”

A lot to take in there. Natalya focuses on the last one, “It’s only the sniffles, it’s fine.” She says, and he places the flowers and the umbrella on the bench.

“Can I take your hand? This works best if I get to hold your hand,” He says, and it’s kind of adorably kind that he asked, so Natalya says yes. He takes her hand, “You got sick on my behalf! I demand that I be able to right this past wrong, and take you out to lunch, if that’s okay.” He adds if that’s okay, and Natalya likes Antonio.

She likes that he makes her smile. She likes that silence with him is no longer confrontational. She likes that he respects her boundaries in every regard.

“Okay.” She says, and she doesn’t smile, but she hopes he can tell. He adds his number to his phone and saves himself as Antonio Fernandez Carriedo with a heart at the end.

She goes to the meeting and presents perfectly, and it’s boring as hell and it’s long as hell but at the end of it Mr. Jones announces that she’s due for a promotion, and Natalya takes that time to ask if she can get an extra hour added to her lunch.

Mr. Jones—Alfred, he tells her. He’d like it if she’d consider him a friend, but Natalya never could—is surprised. Natallya has never expressed a desire for added benefits, but he’s more than happy to give her this one. He tells her that, if she wants, she can be free for the day.

She texts Antonio to tell him she’s free for the rest of the day. He sends something back that is full of emojis and happy emoticons. He tells her to meet him at the bus stop.

She walks with little urgency, he arrives out of breath, like he ran to get there.

“I ran to get here,” He says, “I convinced my boss to let me out of there so I could hang out with a beautiful woman, and maybe get lunch.”

“You lied to your boss?” Natalya raises an eyebrow.

He grins, “Hardly.”

Lunch is nice, Antonio makes it better. Natalya isn’t in love with him or anything, but snow falls outside of the restaurant windows and Antonio makes a comment about the weather being all over the place lately and she wants to laugh even though it isn’t funny at all. He makes it funny, what with all his softness and all his happiness.

She thinks, in her heart of hearts, that she may have caught some of it.

[building-brayden]

1/26/17

Wow have I been inactive! School started last week and I've been super busy. My transition is going well. My body is changing a little bit every day. I'm noticing more leg hair (much thicker on my lower leg and starting to be less blonde on my upper leg). My happy trail is getting thicker and starting to travel up the sides of my belly button. My acne is in full force, but I'm also getting more little dark chin hairs. I think I have 5 or 6 dark ones, the rest are blonde and very spiky. They're like between peach fuzz and actual beard hairs. My "mustache" is getting a lot darker, but it's very pubescent and kinda nasty lol. The combination of how much I've been working out and the T is helping my muscles grow. I'm seeing it a lot in my abs (I have a 4 pack when I flex) and my shoulders (they're getting broader). My voice dropped a little more about a week or so ago, I'll be able to compare when I make a voice update. My mental health has been in rough shape as of late. Since getting back to school on the 17th, I've been quite down, very irritable, and am not enjoying a lot of socializing. It is pretty rough. I'm trying to do my best to take time to myself and process my feelings. I had a rough time at home over the holiday, and I think that all of those feelings are just hitting me now. I'm doing my best to stay on top of my school work so I don't have that adding too much more strain on my mental state. I'm considering going back to see my therapist I saw during my first semester here just to work through some of this stuff and get to feeling better. I'm gonna wait a little longer before I do. I apologize for not making a 2 month update video, time just got the best of me. But I will be posting a 3 month update next week so look out for that!!

[yoamaciamguyz]

Hari Raya 2019

Assalamualaikum tumblr/diariku,

HAHAHAHA amboi dah macam cite ape pula ckp tu ye. Anyways, since it’s Raya, I want to apologize/wish you guys here. I’m not good doing this kinda things directly, so kt sini je lah saya tulis ye. Kalau korang dpt baca alhamdulillah. Sorry for being two days late.

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin!!! I am sorry for my wrongdoings, sorry if I ever caused any of you guys trouble, minta maaf klau saya ade silap kata or kasar kata kepada korang. I may have caused a lot of troubles to you guys, that you guys despise me a lot. But know this, it was never in my intention to cause any of you guys troubles or to make you guys hate me. My intentions were all purely good, no bad intentions. Despite that, it still cause troubles to some of you, I think it was because of how I do it, or how I handle it I guess, maybe the way of doing it or showing it, was wrong, so yeah.

I have forgiven all of you if you guys have done anything wrong. What I mean is, no matter how bad or how mean you guys are to me, I will always forgive you guys. Might be too dangerous to forgive people easily but that is just who I am.

Anyways, that is all i guess, i have lots to say i think but all the words are clouded in my mind. So i hope this was good enough, sorry if it wasn’t. Once again, I am truly sorry for whatever I’ve done to you guys. I pray that you guys will have a good life for the rest of the year and be in good health. Have a good Raya and holiday guys & see you guys soon i guess!!!

(Ni extra & unrelated so jgn susah kn diri baca ye, half of the year have been so rough and bad lately, I pray that the other half will be good for me, not worser for me, aminn)

Posted on: Friday, 7 June 2019 12:15am