#the hitchikers guide to the galaxy

[doctorprofessorsong]

My first fic, Across the Universe, is rough when it comes to writing style, but actually past River was hilarious. I entirely forgot about this passage

The Mediocre Pub, formerly known as The Best Pub in the Galaxy, was the brainchild of three Zymurgists, coincidentally named Zed, Fred and Ted. Zymology, that is the study of fermentation, is the most popular major at the University of Maximegalon. 65% of first-year students declare it as their major. Typically, the vast majority of students change their major after a semester when they realize it is markedly more entertaining to drink beer than it is to study it. Zed, Ted and Fred, on the other appendage, were not going to let a little fun get in the way of their studies. Even if they found themselves slightly less popular at parties than marketing majors. As it happens, partygoers were not particularly enthralled by their lectures on the hint of elderberry in their fermented beverage of choice. Not to be dissuaded, the "Eds", as they became known, decided the problem was the parties to which they were not being invited, and the attractive members of their preferred species who were decidedly ignoring them. After a night of drinking a particular potent fermented beverage with hints of chocolate, oats and a small insect like creature that inhabits the fetid swamps of Sqornshellous Zeta, they came up with a plan. They decided to create the perfect pub. A pub so amazing that the partygoers, including attractive members of their preferred species, would flock to them. They set to work studying every aspect of successful pubs. Every single item was based on their extensive studies, and every beer was individually cultivated to appeal to only the most sophisticated palate. They humbly named their joint venture The Best Pub in the Galaxy. Unfortunately for them, it was a resounding failure. The Guide described the interior as "a mish mash of random elements that entirely fail to come together." The menu had "all of the readability and excitement of an instruction manual for a midsized vehicle." Finally, the drink list was described as: "ranging from undrinkable to almost surely toxic to most species. The best option tastes a bit like water used to cook Zontarian sausages poured over the anus of a Turiquan Three-Headed Uberbeast." The only positives cited were the location, situated along several major routes between large galactic hubs, and the bartender Tritus, who "will slip you a couple of generic brews for a fiver." The Eds had a massive falling out, blaming one another for the pub's failure. They refused to be in the same room and would send messages through Tritus, who very quickly tired of being the go-between for all of their petty squabbles. Finally, he went to each Ed and told him: "Whew! Those other two sure do hate me. Can you imagine if I was an owner? That would sure piss them off." Zed, Ted and Fred immediately signed their shares over to Tritus. He changed the name to The Mediocre Pub, disposed of the inventory, and redecorated. The result is a quiet, popular pub that always has just enough of a crowd to feel warm and inviting, but not so many patrons that you can't get a drink. Tritus still mans the bar. As it happens, the Eds never spoke with one another again, and thus never discovered his subterfuge. Zed used all of his experience doing market research to get a job in the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. He liked it slightly less than zymology, but it got him more invitations to parties, so he considered it a win (at least until the revolution came). Ted became an apprentice at a zeptobrewery where they brew beer by the sip. You must have a masters or higher in zymology to enter. Sadly, he was diagnosed with a chronic case of Pretentiousness and forced into early retirement. Fred was killed by a Turquian Three-Headed Uberbeast.

[protecticarus]

not to alarm anyone but

SAM BARNETT WILL BE DIRK GENTLY AGAIN

that’s how i choose to interpret “performing new and classic material from dirk gently” ok shut up

[beardedmrbean]

All right all you Hoopy Froods grab your towels, and be ready to celebrate the man who taught us just how useful they could be.

[aircontionednightmare]

she hitchhike on my guide till i galaxy

[the-old-mayhem]

"That was all he ever talked and wrote about. It was all about dying. That was all he dreamt of. He was also into self mutilation. The first time I met him, I got pissed off. He was like Marvin in "Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" - everything sucked. But it wasn't just an attitude, he really had problems." - Manheim, "Once upon a time in Norway" documentary 🦇

(Slide two is some of Marvin's quotes and slide three is the description of Marvin from HGTTG wiki)

@the.old.mayhem on instagram

[lilbeangrr]

Some h2g2 art from the past couple of days

2nd last features my friends as the emos <3

[dandytron2000]

This fucking jerk is taking up the entire seat

[roenters]

Me and my mate made pins!!! >:DD inspired by @thewizzardwithin and their sick post on the pins they made >:) → here!

More photos for your viewing pleasure‼️‼️ ↓

I accidently broke Bill's legs so they're together now ;-; 💀

[madscientistotd]

MAD SCIENTIST OTD IS...

slartibartfast from a hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

he made norway and i think that's marvellous

[wwalkingcontradiction]

Hello hitchhikers fandom

Enjoy

[random-potato-mil]

Me when a character in a story is giving the slightest implications of beeing trans:

Don't care about the story writers perspective at that point their trans. Nothing you can do about it.

[leslaras-art]

[i-am-adequate]

Happy Towel Day to all those who celebrate.

[beardedmrbean]

[charliejaneanders]

My latest newsletter is about Hollywood constantly going back to the same heroes (Luke Skywalker, Captain Kirk) instead of expanding their universes. To get more perspective, I talked to the wonderful @okbjgm about creating new heroes in old universes.

[lilbeangrr]

Zaphod (+arthur) doodles i forgot to post days ago :0 better late than never