#the hillbilly headcanons

[fishyvamp]

I am stressed as hell right now with everything going on in the US so Imma going to write what I think some of my favorite killers are like when they're darling reader comes to them stressed as hell. Many of them are going to be readers I've already written about at least once so feel free to check the masterlist. If you want more head canons feel free to ask.

The Knight is startled when Eldritch!reader asks to just cuddle, you're smaller then usual body tense and when he touches your skin he can feel the hidden shadows trying to pull him in. "Anything for you Szeretet," he whispers picking you up and holding you against his chest. He takes you to his bed though it looks more like the nest you have in your castle then an actual bed. You smile realizing he's slowly bringing pieces of you in. He doesn't find himself worthy of you, but if you insist on asking him for comfort it would be his honor to provide it.

The Ghostface is confused as hell watching Hyde!reader pacing the room. You're killer side is usually scarily calm most of the time. However you look ready to lash out. Ready to pounce and shred the next person who so much as looks at you. You turn around seeing him there and he was bracing himself to get rushed and pinned against the wall, but it never came. Instead he watches you slowly move to him picking him up holding him in your arms as you move to the couch slumping down. You don't say anything to him, but you do hold him almost painfully tight against your chest. "Everything alright?" He asks you. Not sure how to feel about the non-committal grunt you give.

The Hillbilly doesn't think twice already wrapping you tight in the warmest knit blanket he's got, he's got popcorn, hot cocoa, and all the sweets you can gorge yourself on. Your favorite movie is on and he's just enjoying your company as you both lay on the couch, though if you don't calm down he might be inclined to help his little critter out by using other methods of getting your brain to shut down.

The Trapper doesn't react much just pulls you into bed and asks you to just speak. It doesn't matter if he understands he just wants to listen. He wants to hear everything, wants to make sure you feel heard. He smiles when you finally break your worries spilling like a faucet as he takes everything in asking questions when you pause. You seem at ease once you're done looking so peaceful tucked up under his arm. His Brat looks so sweet when they lay in bed next to him so peacefully. Burden him will you, it makes him feel less alone to hear you. Makes him feel lighter when he helps you share the emotional load.

The Executioner is use to it. You're already stressed about this and that. You aren't dating, but he does know how to get you calm down, you pinned beneath him in the bed as he humps against your ass. So fucking perfect he thinks feeling you melt against his touch. Such a needy toy, maybe he'll force you on your knees as he sharpens his knife, your face pressed against his thigh nose buried into his clothed groin. You're surrounded by his musk and for some reason that pacifies you. Not that pyramid head can complain.

The legion, they're solution to everything is horror movies and cuddle puddle. The neediest person in the center of the puddle a killer in each arm, a third holding behind while the fourth finds himself between your legs. The look smug when they finally get you to sleep. Your snoring soothing. It isn't long before they're passed out too.

[hexbimbo]

DBD HCs | Killers Christmas

Evan MacMillian

Starts the fire in the hearth to kick off the party.

Was kinda forced into coming by the Entity. Doesn’t really care for the holidays.

Only sticks with killers he can tolerate like Wraith, Blight or maybe Deathslinger

His secret Santa gift is trap grease and some paint.

Philip Ojomo

Holds the box of decorations while Sally decorates.

They totally arrived together but play it cool. We know what’s up 😏

Dances with Sally too! Makes the whole party pretty magical.

His secret Santa gift a new shawl with a nice red dye.

Max Thompson Jr.

Slaughters the Christmas Ham.

Wants to do Christmas with his friends. Loves watching the old Christmas movies in the quiet of the den.

Wears a lot of plaid. Definitely only in his pjs.

His secret gift is a southern breakfast basket.

Sally Smithson

Hangs the high decorations because she can fly.

Nibbles cookies over a plate. She really likes the ones with jam or fruit puree in the middle.

Hand feeds Phillips little snacks.

Her secret Santa gift is a dried bouquet of baby’s breath. (Get it?)

Micheal Myers

Is assigned kitchen duty. Chops everything horribly.

Smells awful. Ever had a homeless guy stand too close to you and they smell like poo and sweat? Yeah.

No one knows why he even came. Total space kid.

His secret Santa gift is a knife sharpener. Maybe a box of plastic forks.

Lisa Sherwood

Brings the pinecone jam.

Wears a a sweater that’s actually clean and fresh smelling.

Gargles in the affirmative or negative for conversations.

Her secret Santa gift is a bundle of sticks with a pretty purple ribbon.

Herman Carter

People watches the whole night from a corner table.

Starts drama. Hak sure is annoying isn’t he? Sally and Phillip didn’t even bring anything…

Maybe gets drunkly punched.

His secret Santa gift is a brain encased in a jar of liquid.

Anna

Brings a wild boar. Unskilled. Might still be alive.

Wears a turtle neck and long skirt. Looks like a big mama bear.

Rocks when she gets overstimulated with all the music and foreign words.

Her secret Santa gift is a yarn ball and crocheting needles.

Bubba Sawyer

Brings a pressure cooker of his famous chilli.

Don’t mind the finger that’s the concentrated flavor 😤

Helps out in kitchen. Adds that home cooked flavor.

His secret Santa gift is a framed picture of his family. Don’t ask how Rin even got ahold of the damn thing.

Freddy Krueger

Was not invited.

They may be killers, but they don’t fuck around with no pedos.

Would probably just keep killing people. Doesn’t fuss with the holidays.

His secret Santa gift a box of matches.

Amanda Young

Brings spinach and artichoke dip. Some toasted pita too.

Doesn’t drink. Leaves soda cans everywhere.

Goes without the pig mask cuz it’s lowkey rotting and no one wants to smell that.

Her secret Santa gift is a box of Funyuns. It’s a comfort food for her.

Jeffery Hawk

Brings homemade chicken wings.

You don’t understand- he’s ever one of the best cooks or worst cooks of all time. You wanna know why? He doesn’t care how much butter or salt is added into a dish.

Are the wings sanitary? Probably not. Is that a heroine needle sticking out there…?

His secret Santa gift is high quality face paint.

Rin Yamaoka

Her twitches and moans of agony kinda freak everyone out at first.

That’s all she does really. Stand there and groan.

Hangs out with her Grandpa! They try throwing a ball out in the yard. Or the sword fight. Thats fun.

Her secret Santa gift is a journal and pencil pack.

Frank, Julie, Susie, Joey

The ones hosting. Decorating and cleaning almost needed in tears for everyone.

Steals a billion types of pizza, chips, and soda.

Does not clean at all. Gets plastered and leaves the guest to fend for themselves.

Their secret Santa gift is stolen electronics.

Adiris

Has entire conversations without realizing no one can understand her.

Her little smoke and chain ball is stuffed with cinnamon and holiday spices. Makes the whole lodge smell nice.

Insists on the Entity version of saying grace before everyone eats.

Her secret Santa gift is a pack of incense.

Danny Johnson

Taking pictures for the memories.

Constant pulling little pranks and jokes the Legion. Does it start a fight?

Yes. Yes it does.

His secret Santa gift is some camera film.

Demogorgon

Has to be stopped from eating the tree multiple times

Burrows and pops up so hard it sends tables flying.

Ends up being leashed outside with Xeno after biting Portia’s doggy.

Its secret Santa gift is some metal to chew.

Kazan Yamaoka

Brings Hot Pot.

Is the one punching people who are stirring up shit.

Catches up with Rin. Wants to be parent he never kinda really wanted to be. 🥺

His secret Santa gift is a sword mantle strong enough to bare the weight of his sword.

Caleb Quinn

Brings scalloped potatoes au gratin

Ties his hair up into a low bun. Kinda looks cute on him.

Kinda like a level headed hippie grandpa. If there’s kids, he’ll get down on their level to play with them.

His secret Santa gift is a box of random gears, wires, and screws to build with.

Pyramid Head

Brings a severed hand with a bow on the knuckles.

No one ever sees it still. It’s always kinda walking around.

Some jokester maybe wrapped his head in lights.

Their secret Santa is a looser pair of trousers for the dumpy 🍑

Talbot Grimes

Seems like a lunch kinda guy

Talks science with Albert.

Twitches so much people think he’s bugging out.

His secret Santa gift is some herb seeds.

Charlotte and Victor Deshayes

The siblings who only talk to each other.

Victor gets mistake for a tot a few times. Gets picked up and promptly scratches the face off Caleb.

Charlotte fixes heaping plates for the both of them. Probably some of the best food they’ve ever had

Their secret Santa gift is gourmet cabbage. You think I’m joking? They are over the goddamn moon.

Ji-Woon Hak

Gets in peoples faces to blog.

Takes cute pictures of a plate of food but doesn’t eat it.

Maybe brings a fancy platter made by a restaurant.

His secret Santa gift is a a small fridge for his beauty products.

Nemesis T-Type

Heavy breather.

Tracks mud in and draaaaaags it on the carpet IN THE DEN.

Kinda just stands behind people and breaths down their neck.

His secret Santa gift is some badges and pins to add to the buckles on his boots.

Elliot Spencer

Doesn’t celebrate the holidays.

The only way he’d ever go is to watch people socially suffer.

Maybe sounds outside to watch the snow fall with the other cenobites.

His secret Santa gift is a toolbox of rusted nails.

Carmina Mora

Cuts paper snowflakes to hand from the windows.

Pretty outgoing! Definitely has an eccentric charm that quiet artists have.

Kinda becomes best friends with Rin during this party. Both had similar childhoods and were on the path to being successful before what happened happened.

Her secret Santa gift is new aisle to match her taller frame.

Sadako Yamamura

Brings some sea weed in her hands.

Keeps haunting the tv and ruining Home Alone.

Flutters in and out around the lodge. No one knows why she came.

Her secret Santa gift a pretty hair comb with seashells.

Dredge

Brings a sludge of leaves and bones.

Gets mistaken for a coat rack. Floats around wearing everyone’s outerwear

Stands a little too close to people. Might get drunkly punched.

Their secret Santa gift is a cardboard box.

Albert Wesker

Wears a turtle neck that fits him perfectly.

Shows up with a bottle of wine. Constanty slick back his hair.

Sips wine while watching the snow fall. Likes to talk business to the other killers: tactics, plans, and little stories.

His secret Santa gift is a glasses case.

Tarhos Kovács

Him and his crew are the ones roasting the meats over the fire.

They get rowdy and break some tables.

His men go nuts with the ale but he refrains. He’s s never been a been drinker but on the holidays, he’ll take a few sips of mulled wine.

His secret Santa gift is a leather skin satchel that attaches around the waist.

Adriana Imai

Brings coxhina

Only talks with “high class” killers (Wesker, Ji-Woon, Portia)

They have a silent judging table to talk mad shit about everyone.

Her secret Santa gift is a a fancy bottle of wine.

HUX-A7-13

On top of the Christmas tree.

Doenst know why they even bothered to come.

(It’s cuz Xeno went and they are in looooooove 😍🥰😘)

Their secret Santa gift

Xenomorph

On a leash in the backyard.

Fed dinner scraps that are promptly melted with acid.

It’s secret Santa gift a survivor to hunt whenever it chooses.

(HUX totally begged The Legion to get Xeno of secret Santa)

Charles Lee Ray

Him and Tiff drunkly make out on everything.

Like; really obnoxious. Bumps into peoples legs, keeps the bathroom occupied for hours.

Tiff will offer to help in the kitchen. Chuckle will sit on the couch and sip beer.

His secret Santa gift is a plate of Swedish meatballs.

Unknown

Crawls in on all fours. Needs to be restrained from snacking on peoples ankles.

Doesn’t bring anything but eats all the food. Then, promptly throws it all back up onto the serving table.

Wears an ill fitting Mrs. Klaus dress.

Their secret Santa gift is a terrarium full of spider and snake snacks.

Vecna

Did not come.

Doesn’t have time for meaningless holiday parties.

Stays at home casting hexes or spells or what ever he does.

His secret Santa gift was supposed to a skull jar filled with chocolate kisses.

Dracula

Brings a bottle of blood and a bottle of wine.

Kinda can’t handle being around people without his wife so he leaves early.

Has a ton of dry humor that makes the more mature killers smirk.

His secret Santa gift is a nail kit.

Portia Maye

Let’s her dog run lose and destroy almost everything.

Brings a bag of raw clams. Let’s other people cook them. Or eat them raw I dunno

Definitely wears cheetah print.

Her secret Santa gift is one of the furniture brushes for people with pets.

[uselessmossball]

My DBD brainrot has started

[r3dkn0ts]

I'm somewhat curious because everyone has their own perception of killers in dbd before they came into the realm. Out of all your faves (like Caleb, Tarhos, Billy ect..) do you think any of them are still....well virgins?? Most of them were either too focused on revenge and bloodshed to even think about ass or coochie (lookin right at you slinger also I LOVE UR BLOG SM)

I have other stuff in the drafts I'm working on atm ( do not worry followers! it will be posted! eventually! ) but Man this just. rattled my brain so hard that I had to start writing Immediately

I'm just gonna pick the guys you listed or else I'd be rambling way too much and also idk what the hell to categorize this as so ummmmm just putting it under the cut. I guess these are more like character studies than anything?

SEXUAL HEADCANONS FOR THE DBD KILLERS Featuring Caleb Quinn, Tarhos Kovács, and Max Thompson Jr.

Themes: Smut, smut, and a little bit of fluff at the end. Honestly, what did you expect? Warnings: Mentions of canon-typical violence

The Deathslinger / Caleb Quinn - I'd imagine Caleb is around his mid-to-late 60s ( if you don't think too hard about the time-fuckery that is the Entity's Realm ), so the man definitely has some years under his belt. - When it comes to sex, though, he might've fooled around with one or two folks in his younger days. Like most other cowpoke of his time, he didn't really care what gender he was laying down with. - Yes, I am saying that Caleb is pansexual. All cowboys are at least a little bit gay. I don't make the rules. - He definitely didn't see any action after nearly killing Bayshore and being stuck in a penitentiary for 15 years straight, that's for sure. - Plus, there's no good reason to be horny in a place like that. - That being said, he knows the basics and maybe a trick here or there, so he's not a total buffoon, but he's not a floozy either.

The Knight / Tarhos Kovács - Being taken from his home and put into slavery at such a young age, he didn't exactly have a normal childhood. - Tarhos didn't have the time to be concerned with anything remotely romantic or sexual, constantly going on campaigns with his men and killing everyone that stood in their way. - He would never admit it to anyone, even himself, but this man is so touch-starved and needy that just hugging him would probably give him a boner as stiff as his claymore. - Tarhos tries to ignore sexual urges until they go away, but that doesn't always work, so he might have to rub one out once in a while. He feels guilty about it every time. - Yeah, he's a virgin. No experience at all.

The Hillbilly / Max Thompson Jr. - Oh, this poor boy. We all know his story by now. It's pretty obvious that he never had any physical contact, much less that of a romantic or sexual nature. - Back in his time, television shows weren't nearly as scandalous as nowadays. There was no way of accessing pornographic material unless you got special magazines, which he of course never did. - Going through puberty, he would feel strange and uncomfortable, just trying to ignore the weird feelings he had. It made him want to crawl out of his own skin. - Those habits stuck with him into his adulthood, constantly fighting his own body and trying anything to get the strange feelings to go away. Eventually, he figured out that friction was the easiest method. - You could say he's "innocent", but I prefer "clueless". - If someone were to truly earn his trust and explain to him what erections, masturbation, and sex are, he'd get super flustered and cover his face in shame. - His first time would need to be slow and more of a tutorial than anything else. Dude's probably gonna cum as soon as a hand touches him. Just be patient.

[pudding-way]

why is every fucking fiddleford fanfic always like "he hippielied down the stairs then smoked a fat blunt (because hes a hippie) then took off his pink floral shirt and pink floral pants and pink floral underwear and fucked every man on campus"

[mr-ding-dong]

DBD men... And would I blow them?

...

The Trapper - No, I just feel like he'd be way too rough.

The Wraith - Yes yes yes... I will not further explain my reasoning.

The Hillbilly - no, I know he's musty from being in those walls for ages. But I'd give him a hug.

The Doctor - HELL NO... he creeps me tf out, and he's a huge psychopath... Most killers are, but he's on a special level.

The Shape - Probably, like in a really odd circumstance.

The Clown - Nope, I know for a fact he probably has some disease down there. Mungy clown.

The Cannibal - No... But I'd give him a hug and head pats.

The Legion (Frank) -... Maybe, he's a mixed bag for me. Probably not, simply because of Jules.

The Legion (Joey) - Yes, he's hot. Duh.

The Nightmare - Nope, I'd rather kill him.

The Ghost face - Yes, why not, seems like a fun time.

The Demogorgon - IT'S A BEAST ALIEN, WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

The Oni - I'd be down, ngl. Like 👉👈 perhaps I'd go down if my life was spared from his blood rage 👀

The Deathslinger - Nope, notta chance. Sorry... But no.

The Executioner -... Yes, he's definitely musty... But I'm willing to somewhat look past it. Just no damn scarab beetles.

The Blight - Nope, I don't want any of the infection juice he's having. I wouldn't even high five him without ten gloves on.

The Trickster - Nope, I hate him. I don't care if he's hot, he's not getting any, I'd rather kick his ass.

The Cenobite -... Probably. Not in the chatter skin, but if the chains don't go through my skin and just kinda tie... I'd be okay.

The Dredge - Wtf even is it? Does it even have one? No... Ew.

The Mastermind - Nah, I'm good. He doesn't need more of an ego trip. I'll be passing on that even if he's British.

The Nemesis - No... Again... Does it even have one?

The Singularity - Does it even have one #3? And no! I'd rather feed it a bomb and watch it explode, before high fiving Gabriel.

The Knight - Handjob... I feel like something is wrong down there so my mouth ain't touching shit.

The Good Guy - No, he's a married man and a doll. And a father! No... I'm not that type.

Jake Park - Yes, already on knees. No hesitation.

Dwight Fairfield -... Out of pity, sure. But only once.

David King - Nope. Not my type, too rough and weird face... Ngl.

Bill Overbeck - No, he's cool... But like in a badass grandpa type of way.

Ace Visconti - No... I can smell the STDs off of him, I don't trust that man.

Adam Francis - Sure, he seems nice, probably clean too.

Jeff Johansen - Nah... I'll pass. A bit too much like a relative.

Quentin Smith - Sure...if I don't stare at his face for a long time, because they really messed up his face.

Steve Harrington -... Yes. I won't deny it.

Ash Williams - He looks like my father, so no.

David Tapp - Nope, probably married or something and I don't do that.

Felix Richter - I just don't vibe that way, I forget he exists most of the time. So no.

Leon Kennedy - YES. Sorry Ada, but YES.

Jonah Vasquez -Nope, I just don't really... Like the vibes... I'll pass.

Yoichi Asakawa - He's so sweet, so yeah... Plus he's pretty. I'd be down.

Gabriel Soma - 100%, he's definitely traumatized but who isn't from the survivors...and killers.

Vittorio Toscano - I don't usually go for much older men or beards....but I'd be down.

Renato Lyra - I like messy hair, I'm a sicker for it. So as long as he doesn't cut his hair, my knees are on the ground.

Nicholas Cage - No! He is a married man with kids. Nuh uh.

Alan Wake - Nah... No offense but he looks like a cheaper Keanu Reeves. I'll pass.

[amanitaknowsbest]

Upset by how often Gyomei gets left out of headcanons. Calling it Gyomerasure from now on. He's being Himejilted.

[barbreypilled]

can Peeta just be an annoying spelling of Peter must we keep flogging the dead horse of bread names in every Baby Book fic I happen across

[sohannabarberaesque]

Even when you allow for the fact of Hanna-Barbera's stable of bears in their pantheon of characters being anthro, for the most part.

[hexbimbo]

Dbd HC’s | Random Killer Headcanons.

Killers 🔪🩸

Evan MacMillian

Grew up in Cali, Wisconsin, or Oregon. Pick your choice.

Would’ve been an industrial pioneer. If shit worked out, he could’ve been the DBD version of Jimmy Carter.

Took care of baby animals until his Dad found out.

Max Thompson Jr

Best friends with Philip. They just drink and admire buildings.

“Yuuuuup. My old man built a two story backin’ with all the fixings. The chimneys made outta re-enforced galvanized square steel.”

Pig meat is his favorite meat. Pork chops, bacon, collard greens cooked in the grease.

Philip Oromo

Head over heels for Sally.

These two the iconic elderly couple that sit on the porch all day holding hands.

He loves lemonade.

Doesn’t see the appeal of cologne. Prefers natural, soap scent.

Sally Smithson

Wanted two or three kids with her husband.

Probably would follow trad wife TikTok’s .

Knows really weird cleaning tips.

“A snails slime is a really good glue alternative!”

Michael Myers

Sometimes I get autism vibes and sometimes I don’t?

Has to wear a jumpsuit or his skin feels loose.

Gets lost in his own head, enjoys spacing out

Loves eating with plastic utensils, not that the hospital staff would give him metal forks or knifes anyway.

Lisa Sherwood

Would’ve been a Mikaela Reid if she wasn’t kidnapped.

Only killer who lives in the killer shack. Curls up in the warmth of the basement.

Snacks on snail shells around the swap.

Herman Carter

Loves and Hates Freud.

Low key kinda believes homosexuality and being trans can be cured :/

Weirdly, not from like a bigot perspective? More like a psycho brain doctor who wants to experiment on the brain to expand his research perspective.

gives gay man vibes tbh tho hates everyone equally.

Anna

Doesn’t understand human interaction. Can’t fathom romance, libido, or platonic attraction outside of a child-parent bond.

Studied animals. If she could read and write like Momma, she’d write texts on texts on the animal kingdom.

Enjoys the hunt but also respects.2 nature. Never kills to much of one population (unless a nuisance).

Bubba Sawyer

Like, a hillbilly version of Hannibal Lectors cooking hobby. Sloppy, rough home-cooking.

Makes his own sausages with the perfect amount of seasoning.

Gets nervous without his family. Never went out without a family member. Feels too exposed with out someone to rely on.

Freddy Krueger

Kinda just there. Killers are always surprised to see him about. “Oh damn. You’re still here???”

Likes music from the 70s and 80s. LIVES for Johnny cash.

No, he does not enjoy Ring of Fire anymore.

Amanda Young

When she was a junkie, she was a MEAN junkie. Always jonesing out on a street corner or picking fights with her boyfriend.

Red is her favorite color.

The jigsaw puppet brings her strange comfort. Takes good care of designing them, setting them up, and painting them.

Jeffery Hawk

Every time of addict and nearly every type of mental disorder under the belt. Eating, personality, anxiety, depression.

Has not touched a vegetable since he was a teenager.

Def would yell at a fast food worker for putting cheese on his burger.

Rin Yamaoka

She would’ve fucking won life

If she lived her full life, she would’ve broken her family’s curse.

Probably would’ve won a championship, got a doctorate, and become a prime minister.

Frank, Julie, Susie, Joey

Either the most supportive or prejudiced people you’ll ever meet.

I can seem them thinking you’re “radical” if you happen to be queer but that they would bully you for shits and giggles

All bisexual ( except Susie is canon Lesbian I think???I don’t read the comics)

I can’t listen to Sweater Weather without picturing them.

Adiris

Eats the same stuff everyday.

The most loyal and most rewarded killer though she almost always turns down the gifts.

Wants to look like pre-plague self again but relents.

Believes the plague was a sign from her god.

Danny Johnson

Devious. Says the most out of pocket things.

His camera is his most prized possession. Break it, you die. Touch it, You die. Breath on it? Believe or not, you die.

Can’t stand when people talk to him longer than 5 minutes. Doesn’t know why. He just has a hard time paying attention.

Demogorgon

Branches? Nibbled. Hair? Nibbled.

Can’t explain it, won’t explain it. Loves squids.

Lurks in swamp water with Lisa.

Kazan Yamaoka

Best Worst Dad goes too-!

Fr though, was probably a mid dad. Super protective of his blood but didn’t really give a shit about them yknow?

Carried his son to a doctor when he broke him and sent money to the family while on his travels but was never really there.

Was very excited to have a baby though! Most time he spent at home was during his wife’s pregnancy and postpartum.

Caleb Quinn

Had dreams of returning to Ireland when he grew up. Everything seemed so simplistic then.

Made little toys for children as a young adult from nuts and bolts.

Devout Catholic. Prays every night before bed, rests on the Sabbath. Being in the relm has definitely jaded his faith but he’s slowly picking it back up.

Pyramid Head

Given the honor of patrolling the forests for rogue survivors.

Has had survivors smack the booty. #bakeryjustuce✊

Can’t sit still. Always needs to be moving forward. Never backward. Always.

Talbot Grimes

Was really handsome before the blight.

Avid Reader. Gets lost in academia.

Was addicted to opium. Thinks he kicked the habit but would still smoke for “health benefits”

Charlotte and Victor Deshayes

They only speak French ( unfortunately 🤢🤮)

I mentioned Charlotte is a hoarder but Victor does his best to reason with her. Does she really need that coffee tin? She has three already at home.

Victor loves to run and climb. All those years fused with Charlotte made him long for some independence, though he knows Charlotte would be upset hearing that.

Ji-Woon Hak

Probably had an only fans before his career took off.

Def makes thirst traps.

Walks around his home naked (or in boxers during the winter.) Nothing sexual, just likes to air it out a little.

Nemesis T-Type

What’s there to be said

Likes stomping

Likes stompy boots

Hates STARS 🤢🤮😤

Elliot Spencer

Eats oatmeal with no water or milk.

Idk the lore

Probably a tattoo artist who does experimental piercings.

“That brings me pain. But I like the pain. That hurts! But…I like the hurt which-

Painted his nails black before it was hip.

Carmina Mora

Pecks her food.

Enjoys flapping her arms for sensory input.

Uses her ink hands as paint. Anytime not spent on trails is paint time.

Sadako Yamamura

Grunge aesthetic overload ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Bookworm ( reads smut like the morning paper.)

Had really beautiful hair before the fall.

Dredge

Wish it had legs. To run. Closer. Faster. Nearer.

Licks liquids like a cat.

Everyone was sad when Maurice went missing. Eventually, the Entity had to return Maurice because it was affecting literally everyone emotionally. Shrines were made. Truces were drawn up.

Albert Wesker

Autism comfort character. Sue me.

“I understood the sarcasm, Chris. I just didn’t think it was funny.”

Was confused growing up why his larger vocabulary was looked weird or teased by other kids. Don’t all children use the word “ailment” or “peer”?

Burn king. Drops the sickest burns of all time. Never holds back. You, yo momma, and yo sister are done for.

Tarhos Kovács

A good butcher. Knows how to divide and roast many types of meats.

Discipline is key. Conditioned to never take a days rest or sleep more than necessary.

Has panic attacks if required rest or bed ridden. Vittario stumbled into his tent one night and was calmly (screamed) at to exit his quarters.

Makes a mean flower crown.

Adrianna Imai

Tried really hard to make her own manga or manga company. Probably didn’t take off because it was too “corporate-y”

Hates bugs. Will be happy the day they go extinct.

Travels to Japan all the time for vacations and business ventures.

HUX-A7-13 and Xenomorph

A romance has begun.

Enemies to friends to slow burn lovers to enemies back to lovers and-

HUX was so ashamed- how could he develop humanoid feelings for something of organic nature?! Even with its…claws and…hatred for humans…ERROR❤️❤️❤️

Tries to court Xeno the best it can but it doesn’t quite get English or gestures.

“I have procured two human spinal fluids for your consumption. Does this please you?”

Xeno frustrated that the pink metal thing is always near. You’d think nearly tearing it apart the first 10 times would make it go away!

Charles Lee Ray

Him and his wife are in paradise.

Lowkey living it up. They’ve got a home, food, and all the murders to their hearts content.

Tiff loves to bake and cook in her spare time.

Once asked to be returned to his human form. Was denied.

Unknown

Has the best drip.

Major troll. You’ll be pissing on the outskirts of the survivor camp and hear…CRACK 🦴 somewhere in the bushes.

Collects skins. Try’s (and fails) to fit into skins of smaller animals.

Vecna

So mad he’s here lol

Entity nerfed him to hell.

Hates the smell mead and fun.

[electricneonvalkyrie]

Comphet Abby because not nearly enough people are talking about it.

(Not me writing this in my bed, on my rest day, with crazy ass sex hair, eating jalapeño lime pistachios and giggling because holy fuck Abigail... get it together my beautiful, hopeless dyke. 💜)

Are you ready to get into some cute headcanons? (Spoiler alert, you’re not!)

First, let’s start with the spiral, because it’s just fun that way, and what is TLOU if not a shit ton of flashbacks?

A super pretty woman (not her crush... NOT her crush) from The Stadium leans over in the library, and Abby notices—actually, she is hyper aware, which is totally normal, okay?

And maybe her shirt rides up, revealing a peek of some heart stopping, curvy hips with stretch marks adorning them.

A thought flits through Abby's mind, a quick little image of her own veiny, powerful hands on those gorgeous hips, and Abby?

She walks directly into a wall.

She’s thinking about it for the rest of the day, replaying it like a soldier who just saw combat for the first time. And it’s because she’s humiliated, and not because she’s wondering if her entire life has been a lie.

Abby doesn’t speak for a full 24 hours.

She lays in bed, staring at the ceiling of her bunk, only taking breaks to read The Price of Salt for the fifteenth time.

She goes on a two-hour run to process her emotions.

So what if she trash talks women during training like she’s trying to get punched in the mouth? She is not flirting. No matter what Manny says.

Yeah, she’s suddenly better at pull ups when women are watching. When they ask to sit on her back while she does push ups, it's only a thrill because it makes the male soldiers in the gym seethingly jealous.

Maybe, sometimes, she desperately wants other women to best her at target practice, to test her strength, to beat her.

No big deal.

Abby does not unpack these thoughts.

She just likes a little friendly competition, nothing to see here.

Girls pin her in sparring matches, and she forgets how to breathe? Normal. They grin down at her, all smug and adorable… this is totally fine for Abby. Something inside her literally malfunctions, but that is the most normal thing of all the things.

She kisses Owen to forget about her woes and his facial hair rubs up against her chin, immediately forcing her to recoil.

Well, it's itchy, okay? An unexpected, wholly unpleasant sensory experience.

Shave, you hillbilly, and we'll try again.

The one time their platoon, far from the safety of the FOB, played spin the bottle under the starlit sky like a bunch of degenerates? Abby didn’t panic. Beads of sweat did not roll down her back as she sat on her knees by the fire, praying that the bottle didn’t land on her.

Praying that it fucking did.

When that redheaded medic, with those clear, emerald eyes, the ones that caught the firelight so perfectly—wait. Stop. Hold up. Just... they kissed because those are the rules of the game. Abby only felt the brush of the woman's tongue tingling between her thighs because she’s lonely as hell and overworked.

Happens. To. Everyone.

Later that night, when under the pretense of tending to Abby's injured shoulder, maybe the medic even braided Abby’s hair, until she was sure she felt her soul leave her goddamn body.

Must’ve been the adrenaline from being on the front lines, though. How very un-gay of her, actually.

There are signs. Of course there are. For other queer people. Heck, she's an ally! She knows all about them.

So, she’s short tempered and dismissive with men who aren’t Manny, in nearly every facet of interaction. Pretty typical.

So what if she over explains everything and her voice goes up an octave when she’s with a girl? Normal. Her hands start doing that flailing thing where she’s practically assaulting the air as she speaks? Hello again, Abby's Totally Straight Behavior. Her ears go all hot and red and she has no idea why? This isn’t a thing at all. It’s cool.

Look away.

And it’s not that Abby doesn’t like sex, it’s just that she’s not a super sexual person, okay?

Sex with men feels kinda mechanical, if she’s honest. Like a task she must complete to satisfy them and make the annoying advances stop coming for a while. When she lays there after the fact, feeling like she just participated in the world’s most uneventful plank of all time, she assumes most women feel the same way.

Unless they’re one of those lucky girls who have super skilled sex partners or something. Maybe they’re just better at pretending it’s fun, and Abby?

She's a realist.

And if she’s one brush of a woman’s lips away from losing the ability to stand upright, what if, maybe—no. No.

Full eye contact with the same sex and her stomach drops? Normal City, population of one.

Hugging them, just wrapping them in her muscular arms, and the simple action turns into a spiritual experience? Well, yeah. Maybe she just appreciates female beauty. The way they always smell so damn sweet.

Maybe she just really likes boobs, but in a straight way.

Owen has a nice smile, and he’s a handsome guy. He’s funny sometimes. That girl in the armory wears super cute earrings every day, and she really likes purple flowers. Abby hasn't asked about the purple flowers obviously, but she sees them embroidered on her clothes and in the doodles she scribbles onto weathered clipboards. When the girl licks her lips, and she does that little thing with her nose as she smiles...

Sure, okay. Abby’ll go out of her way to visit the firing range just to see it. She might even venture outside the walls for a handful of fresh wildflowers to say thank you... for doing such stellar work organizing the weapons (AKA for existing.)

Alright. Wait a minute. This could be something.

When the mental gymnastics really kicks off, Abby is so deep in denial that she promptly convinces herself she just likes both. Simple. She has a friend in the motor pool who is bisexual and that checks out for her, too.

She’s not straying too far from the familiar this way. It feels much safer to have one hand on the ledge of the pool. That way, the slow, horrifying realization that all her fictional crushes are just her having repressed gay awakenings can’t set in before she’s ready.

She starts realizing that certain women keep looking at her differently.

Why do all the lesbians in the WLF smirk at me like they know something I don’t?

Why do they pat me on the shoulder like I’m going through something?

They are totally not clocking her before she clocks herself.

Then it happens. It comes out of nowhere.

Isaac plans an event to boost morale, and he expects everyone to attend. His only rule? Wear something nice. Some don their cleanest, least bloodstained outfit and call it a day. But Abby? She’s trying her hand at stepping out in a suit and tie, because fuck it.

She looks damn good.

Isaac would kick her ass if his top soldier turned up looking messy, so, again, straight as an arrow conclusions.

There’s a makeshift dance floor and no one really knows how to dance, but they try. The beer tastes like gasoline, and the moonshine is beyond a daunting mystery, but nobody complains, because it’s the one night a year everyone lets loose and has a little fun.

Abby drinks whiskey, anyway.

And maybe she has to break up a fistfight over something stupid, because of course she does. The ruckus tousles her up a bit, and that’s where you come in.

You adjust Abby’s collar for her. You fix the long, wavy tendrils of golden hair that have gone rogue. She never wears it down, but tonight, it nearly reaches her lower back. It's soft and beautiful. Every strand smells like the forest after rain.

When your fingertips skim her freckled neck, she leans into your touch. She makes these tiny, warm sounds in the back of her throat that reach all the way into her chest.

And then?

She freezes. Her whole body locks up.

She tries so hard to suppress it, but you know. You feel it.

You whisper her name. Abby. Someone in the distance clinks their glass and she flinches like she just got hit by a sniper round.

But for the first time in her life, she stops running. She fucking smiles at you. Because she realizes.

She knows.

Holy shit, I’m gay.

[stephreynaart]

What are some of your fiddauthor headcanons?

I’ve covered a few of my head cannons in my fiddauthor comics.

Some I haven’t are how Ford loves when Fiddleford’s accent gets thicker when he’s excited about something. He feels weirdly turned on when Fidd’s more hillbilly traits come out, or just his own unusual quirks.

The sexiest thing Fidd’s can do is show Ford one of his mechs, which funnily enough, one was made during their delayed engagement

[bigfatbimbo]

MROE MORE MORE MORE I I JSUT NEED MORE STANLEY BILL STANFORD AND FIDDLEFORD YOUR WIRIRNT IS SO FUCKIMG GOOD OH MY GOD KEEEP ON WRITING DONT STOP WHY R YOU SO TSENTEED!.!!,!,,, PIT ME IN A ROOM WITH ALL OF THEM AND I WONT BE THE ONE COMING OUT ORGENEATN OH MY FUKCJNG GODDD YOU AWTE SO AWRSOME

I love you and your writing, please do not suddenly disappear off the face of the earth. (ゝз○`)

I LOVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM. Also I’m going to take this request, since you seem to be specifically excited at the thought of more content, to talk about things i’ve been wanting to write!

[lalala PLEASE SEND REQUESTS lalala]

Bill with equally/exeedingly powerful reader is so interesting to me, there’d be so much competition there and the fact it’d probably be one sided on his part.

ANYTHING with young fiddleford, he’s such a cutie!! From his little hillbilly town omgmgmgmg he’s such a cute little nerd, I love him.

A full Stanford fic, those headcanons did pretty well so if I get a specific enough request i’d literally be ON IT.

I also have a fluffy Bill fic in drafts and that’s all i’ll say about that!

Alternatively in drafts, I have princess bubblegum headcanons. STARVING for adventure time requests, that kept me fed.

Also I’d like to do more with Stanley.. maybe smut this time?

OH and aside from gravity falls, Diego Hargreaves. Would love to fuck him. Him as a sub? Literally, i’m busting.

Lastly… pegging bill? I have nothing planned or in mind, but maybe this could go with the powerful reader. Dunno, but have ideas!

[sprite-writes-fanfic]

How the Killers from DBD would react to you slapping their ass.

Hey guys! Welcome to my silly DBD headcanons, this was just for fun, worked with a great buddy of mine @despacitobandito! <3 They helped me and we overall had a great time making this together so I hope you all get a good laugh out of this. Also! Apparently more killers have come out since Unknown’s release that I didn’t write down during the making of this, sorry for missing any new killers! Other than that, I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 390

CW: Crack headcanons, nothing graphic, some reactions you’d expect from a slasher, contains killers up to Unknown!

Evan MacMillan - Trapper

• Insulted that you would ever touch his fine juicy ass.

Philip Ojomo - Wraith

• “Oh..!” You both are really awkward afterwards. Like just awkwardly staring at each other in silence.

Max Thompson Jr. - Hillbilly

• He’s genuinely startled by you slapping his ass, a little flattered probably.

Sally Smithson - Nurse

• Your hand phases through her and she slashes the shit out of you.

Michael Myers - Shape

• The thousand yard stare before he’d stab you in the face.

Lisa Sherwood - Hag

• *Minecraft skeleton noises.*

Herman Carter - Doctor

• *Farts electricity and electrocutes you.*

Anna - Huntress

• Stops humming. Run. Dude just run.

Bubba Sawyer - Cannibal

• Squeals and cries, you touched his no-no square.

Freddy Krueger - Nightmare

• Turns into literal dust because that’s what he deserves.

Amanda Young - Pig

• Instant bear trap, you don’t even get to find the key, as soon as it’s on, it snaps.

Jeffery Hawk - Clown

• Burp and fart combo.

Rin Yamaoka - Spirit

• You cut your hand since she has a glass shard sticking out of her ass cheek.

Frank, Julie, Susie and Joey - Legion

• They all gang up on you and kick you on the ground, JoJo style.

Adiris - Plague

• She pukes on you, like a baby.

Danny Johnson - Ghostface

• He liked it so much that he hunts you down for you to do it again.

Kazan Yamaoka - Oni

• Feels his masculinity being threatened and he hunts you every game to beat you violently.

Caleb Quinn - Deathslinger

• You traumatized the old man.

Pyramid Head - Executioner

• Execution via guillotine.

Talbot Grimes - Blight

• Immediately tries to vore you but he can’t as he doesn’t have movement in his lower jaw.

Charlotte Deshayes - Twins

• Victor shoots out of her chest and mauls you.

Ji-Woon Hak - Trickster

• Promoted to side hoe and discord kitten that manages his social media; you’re forced to listen to his music on loop on Spotify. There is no escape.

Nemesis

• “S.T.A.R.S.” *blows you up.*

Elliot Spencer - Cenobite

• “I came.”

Carmina Mora - Artist

• Screeches and crows swarm you.

Albert Wesker - Mastermind

• Look of pure disappointment before he hooks you. “Look but don’t touch.”

Tarhos Kovács - Knight

• “Oh good heavens!” *His and him gang mori you.*

Adriana Imai - Skull Merchant

• She cyberstalks you and cancels you on Twitter/X.

Charles Lee Ray/Chucky - Good Guy

• Punted across the whole damn map.

Unknown

• Snap, crackle, pop.

[fenrisdefender]

Hillbilly Hawkes

If the MC Hawkes were twins from Appalachia or som’n

Listen, before yall judge, TikTok comments kept coming up with headcanons for Appalachian MaryAnne and (Ci)Garette Hawke 😭 I couldn’t help myself. He’s a star football player on the high school team and she works down at the Waffle House part time after school.

[werewolfcarl]

I headcanon that in the magic world Hawke is the equivalent of a hillbilly

Inquisitor belongs to @buniiko ❤️