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exovapor · 3 years ago

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I'm OBSESSED with your writing. Can you try.. Maybe, Donnie being a filthy boy being an 'stalker-ish' of his long time crush? Be checks their FB for new posts, saves every picture of them he finds? He doesn't mean to be a creep, feels guilty, but just doesn't know how to ask for more than friendship?

Good afternoon Anon. Here is my short story in relation to your ask.

I wasn't sure where you wanted me to take this, so I had to do a bit of guessing on my part. I hope this something like you were wanting.

I will admit that this ask was a bit of a struggle for me, not knowing a clear direction to take it outcome made me a little unsure of my writing and guessing abilities LOL. However, I will admit to crying along with the characters in this story more than once.

Thanks again for the ask and the initial compliment. I hope to continue to earn your favor in future posts.

· Stalker [noun]: 1a person who harasses or persecutes someone with unwanted and obsessive attention. 2a person who hunts game stealthily.

· Donnie stared at the definition on his one of his monitor screens while his various other screens were busy flashing receipts of files downloaded, text trail streams from your phone, notices of any social media post/update/like/heart/emoji, a GPS line grid of your routes today (overlayed over the routes you’d taken previously), and data search hits of anything and everything that pertained to you.

· At this point, the boy had literally every picture you had ever posted, anywhere, of yourself. In fact, he had all the pictures that other people posted of you in them. He had even gone through the effort of designing a face recognition program that picks you out of the background of total strangers’ pictures and, yeah, he had those in a file too.

· He has special file folders that compile things that you like, things you don’t like, things that make you happy, things that make you sad. He is your own personal Pinterest and you didn’t even know it… and maybe that is the part that keeps bothering him so much.

· He sits staring at that word and definition and chewing his bottom lip. True, he knows the word and the meaning, but he needed to LOOK at it, analyze it, mull it over in his guilt ridden brain.

· He just KNEW the word Stalker couldn’t apply to him.

· After all, he isn’t harassing or persecuting you, you don’t know! So, it isn’t necessarily ‘unwanted attention’. It is just…unknown attention.

· Stealthily, hmmmm, did that part apply to him? Well, He isn’t EXACTLY being stealthy.

· If you knew about technology like him, then you would probably see his programs running on your devices and be alerted to his activities. AND, if you shared his love and view of technology, then you would probably be more understanding of his activities and not consider them stealthy…just data mining. In fact, you might applaud him.

· ‘Ok, that was taking it a bit too far’, Donnie thinks to himself and he feels a band tighten and squeeze around his infatuated heart.

· He is almost certain that you would be shocked to learn of his extra curricular activities and how they revolve around every aspect of you.

· Regardless of how he tried to spin the truth and wiggle out of the definition of stalker, Donnie still felt guilty for invading your privacy. However, he honestly couldn’t help himself…at least not anymore.

· He has fought the urge, the nagging thoughts and the burning need, to know more about you for what seemed like an eternity.

· Listen to him, he is starting to sound dramatic like Mikey! What is his turning into? He is losing his rational edge!

· To be accurate, it hasn’t been an eternity. In fact, he has known you 1 year, 36 days, 14 hours, 11 minutes, and 23 seconds to be exact. However, you started occupying space in his mind 2 minutes into meeting you and your claim over his mind has grown exponentially over time.

· You were quiet and reserved during that first meeting, so there wasn’t much to go on. It started as a simple visual interest with a thought of ‘Oh. She’s pretty’.

· However, then you started talking and that changed everything.

· You opened up more and more each time you hung out with their little group, revealing layers and layers of interests and personality. You were fascinating…and that’s when his thoughts about you really started to snowball and spiral out of control.

· You went from being a simple pretty face to being a walking embodiment of everything he seriously ever dreamed of having in a mate.

· Early on, there were three sticking points that really made Donnie’s feelings problematic. 1. He was a nearly seven foot tall walking talking turtle and you weren’t. 2. You had a boyfriend that you were deeply in love with and adored. 3. Donnie was too insecure about #1 and how you felt about inter-species dating to let you know that you had started to OWN his heart.

· Now, thanks to his surveillance, there were only two sticking points….#1 and #3.

· He still remembers the feelings of that day, 44 days ago, when the blip of information popped up on this screen alerting him to the fact that your boyfriend was starting to stray.

· Donnie had severely conflicting feelings bombard him at once and it was overwhelming.

· The initial knee jerk reaction was elation, one of the problems blocking him from you may soon be null.

· However, the feeling of elation only lasted for a second or two before the intense anger and sadness set in. Donnie was honestly shocked at the depth of his anger, he didn’t even know he had that level of malice in him. Had he been in physical proximity to your boyfriend at that moment in time, Donnie isn’t sure that he wouldn’t have hurt your guy…or worse.

· How COULD this guy do this? WHY would he? He HAD YOU! What the heck was this guy thinking? Not only did he have you, but you thought the world of him. When you spoke about him you would smile so genuinely, your eyes would shine and gaze off into a bright imagined future. Donnie was always so jealous to watch it happen, he wondered what it would be like to be THAT GUY. And here the idiot was throwing it all away and meeting up with another girl!

· WHAT THE…(yes, this called for a curse) HELL…IS WRONG WITH HUMAN MEN?

· As the anger set root in his heart, the sadness engulfed Donnie like an all-consuming wave. He realized he was going to have to share this information with you, somehow, and that he was going to have to watch as it destroyed you.

· At first, Donnie had a plan to try and save you both from that fate. True, it would hurt him more to save your relationship, but he would rather be the one facing the pain and not you.

· He TRIED to circumvent the situation. He sent anonymous messages to your boyfriend stating that he knew about the infidelity and that he would tell you if needed. However, it didn’t seem like your boyfriend cared because he sent messages back stating Donnie could, basically, go fuck himself.

· Life had cruel sense of irony, thought Donnie, that is exactly what I do since this moron has the woman that I love.

· So, after trying for nearly two weeks to stop what was happening behind your back, Donnie had no choice but to let you in on the secret.

· Donnie couldn’t come right out and tell you that he caught your boyfriend cheating by hijacking your data streams and the data streams of those around you. So, Donnie intercepted some texts between your boyfriend and his mistress and he then sent you a text, under the guise of your boyfriend, telling you to meet him at a specified restaurant for a date.

· It had been a gut wrenching night for Donnie. He remembered watching it all play out on camera feeds from around the restaurant and street outside. He watched you dressed up in your pretty dress get out of your cab in front of the restaurant. You had such a lovely smile on your face, you must have thought you were in for a romantic evening.

· He watched as you walked inside and how the hostess got flustered and confused by a 2nd girl showing up for your boyfriend’s seated-for-two table.

· Donnie stopped breathing as your eyes found the new couple holding hands and giving each other sweet kisses across the table. Hands and lips that were supposed to be yours were touching some stranger.

· Donnie watched your smile and eyes die…the light of your inner sun go out…

· …and it killed him.

· He’s not sure who was crying the hardest, you standing there in that restaurant witnessing the scene or him back at the lair watching your world crush around you on his monitor.

· It had taken a while for you both to recover from that night.

· His brothers noticed his melancholy mood for a couple of weeks but Donnie wouldn’t tell them what was bothering him. And you stayed in your bed, refusing to face the world, for nearly as long.

· Eventually, the group began to notice your silence and absence, so April stopped by your apartment to check on you. She was the one to pull you out of bed, get you to shower and eat. She visited everyday and made sure you had someone to vent to and a shoulder to cry on.

· Donnie was glad that April could be there for you when he couldn’t. He didn’t think it was appropriate for him, a male, to be your confidant at that time. Especially since he felt so much guilt over having to be the one to expose you to that pain.

· No, he didn’t CAUSE the pain, but he did have to make you face it and he didn’t like not being able to protect you from it. You were such a rare, precious creature and watching you in pain felt like he was suffocating slowly.

· There were some points during those first few weeks that he questioned if he did the right thing, but logic told him it would have eventually come to pass with or without his involvement. It was better to rip the bandage of quickly and let you start to heal than it was to let you linger and drag out the inevitable.

· Donnie did secretly check on you every single night during patrol. And, of course, his surveillance feeds were always running. He watched from a distance as his beautiful phoenix burn down to ashes and, eventually, started to rise again.

· Now, it’s been over 3 months and you’ve begun to be more like your old self. Donnie can tell there is a silent sadness there, but you are able to laugh and smile with the group during your get togethers. And each time you two are left alone, his mind nags at him about those last two sticking points.

· Would you be at all interested in him? And HOW does he go about telling you that you have become the center of his world?

· Still staring at the monitor and the Stalker definition, Donnie sighs and rubs the bridge of his snout to release of the pressure now pushing against the inside of his head. The memories of what has happened, the emotions of what was and what is, it was all starting to be too much.

· “Bro, what’s all this?”, Mikey says standing behind Donnie’s chair, talking around a mouth full of pizza.

· “NOTHING!”, says Donnie, voice breaking from the stress of being caught. A startled Donnie quickly taps some keys on his keyboard and the screens revert back to the standard lair camera feeds.

· Mikey may look or even come off as naïve at times, but he’s no fool, he can sense that his older brother is trying to hide something. “Dude, seriously, what was that? I’ve been standing back here reading the screens. I saw Y/N’s name and that looked like her phone number on that other file…, you know the file that looks like texts messages. And why is there a plotted map of the area around her apartment, her work, and to the lair? What’s up?”, Mikey said giving a disapproving look at being thought a pushover.

· “Just standard surveillance, Mikey, nothing to worry about.”, Donnie says trying to placate Mikey’s curiosity. Donnie hates lying, especially to Mikey, but he’s feeling so guilty about being such a…(inward sigh)…stalking creep that admitting the truth is hard to do.

· Mikey stands there staring at Donnie and, as he does, Donnie begins to fidget with his computer chair armrests.

· Mikey stuffs the remnants of the pizza slice into his mouth and does his best Leo impersonation by crosses his arms and staring down at Donnie as sternly as his jolly face can achieve, “Dude, I’m not going to ask you again. You’ve been weird for months. We’ve let it go for the most part but now you are hiding things from me…from ME, dude! You and I, we’re like peanut butter and jelly, we’re ice cream and chocolate fudge, we young dudes have got to stick together. Trust me, bro, I’ve got you!”.

· Donnie stared at the floor, too ashamed to meet Mikey’s eyes any longer. He gave a heavy sigh and reluctantly started to speak, “Sorry Mike, I…I honestly don’t know what’s come over me lately. I’m doing things I never thought I would do, I’m feeling so guilty about it, but I don’t know if I can stop doing it either. I feel…lost.”.

· Mike relaxed his leader stance and leaned against one of Donnie’s lab tables, “Bro, I can tell you’ve been carrying some heavy stuff lately. You need to let it out.”

· Donnie felt the heat rise up through his body like he was suddenly being consumed by a fire and he ripped his glasses off his face and drew them down on the desk in frustration, “Mikey, I’m in love with Y/N. I have been for a while. I have been…”, Donnie hangs his head in shame, “…tracking all her digital foot prints and watching her. In fact, I’m the reason she found out that asshole boyfriend of her's cheated.”

· Mikey’s mouth drops open at Donnie’s demeanor and use of the word ‘asshole’, “Whoa, dude, why didn’t you say something earlier?”.

· Donnie can feel a stinging at the corners of his eyes, this was so embarrassing, so frustrating, so…..so many things at a once. He didn’t have a response for Mikey, all he could do was shake his head.

· Still with his head hung down and staring at the floor, Donnie starts to hear Mikey chuckle. Donnie looks up to see Mikey’s eyes on him and for some reason they are full of merriment at his painful dilemma. Donnie stares at his, normally, very considerate brother in astonishment, this isn’t like Mikey at all!

· “Mikey, I’m more than serious here, now is not the time to make fun of me. What is so funny?”, Donnie asks exasperatedly.

· Mikey shakes his bald head and claps his brother on the shoulder with his green hand, “Bro, she thinks you’re cute.”.

· “W-What?!”, Donnie stammers out.

· Mikey, still chuckling, says, “Yeah, dude, that’s why I asked WHY you didn’t say something about liking her sooner, she’s always thought you were cute. She and I talk about it all the time.”.

· Donnie just stares at his jolly brother in silence. His mind is too blown to form a sentence.

· Mikey turns to leave stating, “And by the way, dude, stop watching her like that…that’s just creepy.”.

@turtle-babe83 @tmntspidergirl @kokokatsworld @nittleboo @the-second-circle-of-shell

#tmnt donatello #tmnt #tmnt donnie #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt x reader #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2016 #tmnt fandom

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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years ago

Text

Under My Skin - Matthew Tkachuk

Word Count: 3,644

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language, Smut, NSFW

Summary: Matthew can be a pest but what happens when your ex, Auston Matthews get under his skin.

Notes: So I’m having a sad bitch moment and thought, why not post this. I finally broke down and wrote for this boy. Who knows if it’ll happen again...haha! At any rate hope you guys enjoy. Happy Reading!

Matthew first met you over a year ago when you’d moved to Calgary for work. You had just finished your degree and a job opportunity had landed you in the same city where he was playing. You’d been out at the bar with some co-workers and had caught his eye immediately. You were everything that Matthew was looking for in a woman, smart, funny, incredibly gorgeous, with a charm that seemed to draw everyone around you in. You were like a magnet and Matthew couldn’t resist your pull.

That first night he’d barely been able to talk to you. You’d been besotted with people left and right, and it seemed as though every time Matthew worked up the courage to speak with you, you would get pulled away. Matthew finally ran into you on the way to the restroom. Like, literally ran into you. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Matthew apologized steadying you with a hand on your waist. His hand lingered a little longer than necessary but you weren’t complaining.

“It’s ok I wasn’t paying attention.” You held up your phone in defense. You’d been so distracted by a text, that you really weren’t watching where you were going. “Did you ever have someone text you that you hoped you’d never hear from again?”

It was an interesting introduction to a conversation but then Matthew would take any opportunity he could get to speak to you. “Actually, yes.”

“It’s so annoying, right?”

“Well, there is a way to solve that problem.”

Your eyes held his with rapt attention, and Matthew could tell you were clinging to his every word. It was then that it struck him that he never wanted that look to fade from your face. “How?”

“Come have a drink with me and forgot about whoever it is on that phone.” You smiled. It was a bright, brilliant thing of beauty that Matthew swore could light up the night sky on its darkest days. He was sold right then and there, and with just that simple gesture you had no idea that you’d swooped in and stolen his heart that night.

You forgot about that text message fairly quickly and just settled into an easy conversation with Matthew. The night flew by and before you knew it, your co-workers were calling it a night and you were all heading home. Matthew asked for your number which you gave in hopes that he would call you soon. Little did you know that after you left, Matthew debated with himself on how long to wait to text you. Every unsaid rule in the code of dating said to wait for at least forty-eight to seventy-two hours before making a move, but Matthew was never one to follow convention. As he lay in bed, he decided to send you a quick message.

Had a great time tonight.

It was short and to the point, and Matthew figured if you answered then he would ask you out again. Unfortunately, for Matthew, he wasn’t the only one texting you as you crawled into bed after taking off all your makeup. You were just getting ready to reply to Matthew when another text came in. It was the fourth of the night from the same person that had messaged you before, Auston Matthews.

You hadn’t spoken to him in months, back when you were in Toronto, and you didn’t plan on speaking to him now, though he seemed to be trying his hardest to get your attention, just as he had been for the last couple of months. Your relationship with Auston had been nothing short of toxic. Oh sure, at first it was all hearts and roses in the beginning. Auston swept you off your feet with that charming smile of his, but then you were young and the flashy NHLer said all the right things, at first.

You weren’t normally one to tumble into bed right after the first date, though that’s what happened with Auston. He made it seem like you were the only one, but after dating him for only four months you’d found out that wasn’t true. Oh, he tried to brush it off, make it seem like he wasn’t cheating. That the panties you’d found lying tucked between the nightstand and the bed were some old fling and not some random hookup he’d brought home. You wanted to believe him and so you let your heart overpower your head and stayed with him until you’d literally walked in on him in bed with another woman. There was no talking his way out of that one.

It was an easy decision to break things off with him, though he kept trying to win you back. You were good for his image and he thought that he could keep you happy while he had some fun on the side. The only thing was you didn’t want him back, even though his friends tried to helped his cause. That’s when you decided to take the job in Calgary. It was an easy decision six months ago. Which is part of the reason it surprised you when he texted tonight. He was in Calgary for a game and wanted to talk. You’d honestly were debating seeing him when you’d run into Matthew.

Matthew, you sighed. His curly hair and shaved sides gave off this bad boy vibe, but as you sat there and talked to him, you’d realized he had to be one of the sweetest men out there. You hadn’t realized at first who he actually was. Auston had turned you off to the NHL scene altogether, so you no longer paid attention to the games, even if hockey was Canada’s major sport. Honestly, you wish you didn’t know he was in the NHL. It was part of the reason you were debating about answering him. Maybe you would just sleep on it and decide in the morning.

Meanwhile, Matthew was having a mild panic attack. He told himself that maybe you lived close to the bar and had already fallen asleep before you got his text, or that you’d turned off your phone the minute you got home. He constantly kept checking his, looking for those three little dots letting him know that you were sending something back. It was torturous.

You laid there all of twenty minutes before you decided that you couldn’t resist the curly-haired man that had captured your attention tonight. Grabbing your phone, you shot off a quick, I did too. You typed and erased it three times, wondering if you should add more before finally pressing the send button. There it was done, if he said something back, you’d go from there. Fifteen seconds later, you knew you were in trouble.

Maybe we could do it again sometime?

Matthew was sweating as he hit send. He’d never been this nervous before about a woman. They either liked him or didn’t, but you, you were different. He knew that from the moment he saw you. It was even more prevalent now after he’d spent most of the night with you.

I’d like that.

Was your simple reply back. One that had Matthew ready to jump up and out of bed with excitement. And so the texting went on for the next ten minutes until he finally ended up calling you. The two of you talked for over an hour, almost as if you’d known each other all your lives, and you completely forgot about the texts from Auston.

Matthew took you out three days later to an exclusive restaurant in the city. This time you told yourself you’d not make the same mistake you’d made with Auston. So, when the night drew to a close, Matthew drove you to your apartment then very properly walked you to the door and only kissed you on the cheek. It wasn’t what you expected. You’d thought he’d go for more, but Matthew wanted to do things right. He knew you were special and he wasn’t going to mess things up by sleeping with you on night one. He was in this for the long run.

That was over a year ago. Sure, it had been difficult at first to give him your complete trust, but Matthew had earned it and over time you knew that although he may be a pest on the ice, he was anything but that in your personal life. Now the two of you shared a home and were on your way to making a life together.

You’d kept your relationship on the down-low, staying off of all forms of social media to keep the wolves at bay. Which meant that no one, including Auston, knew that you and Matthew were dating. That was until he and everyone else saw you in the background of Taryn’s video for Brady’s twenty-first birthday. The picture highlighted Brady but behind him, there was Matthew nibbling on your neck and ear. Fans picked up on it right away, wondering who you were and Matthew decided he was tired of hiding the two of you. A week later he was posting a picture of the two of you holding hands on your way back to Calgary.

That was dozens of posts and months ago. Your life with Matthew was nothing short of amazing, until the Flames played the Leafs. Matthew was in Toronto while you stayed back in Calgary for work. It was an early game and you joined the other wives and significant others in a small little watch party. Drinks were flowing freely, so you really didn’t catch the exchange between Matthew and Auston in warmups.

Matthew was minding his own business as he stretched near the centerline. That’s when Auston started with the little jabs. “Nice little piece of ass you picked up Tkachuk.” Matthew was used to guys talking shit about all kinds of things on the ice, though normally it was about him being a dirty player or how Brady was the better Tkachuk on the ice; all that shit he could handle. He wasn’t used to someone taking stabs at you.

“Shut the fuck up Matthews,” he replied then skated away. If Auston was looking for a fight, he’d get one if he kept up this banter, but not until the game started.

It wasn’t until the end of the first that Auston got a chance to chirp Matthew again. “Tell me, Tkachuk, does (Y/N) still make the same pretty moans…”

“Finish that and you’ll regret it,” Matthew told him. It was the only warning Matthew was going to give. Of course, Matthew knew that you’d dated someone in the hockey world and that he’d been a verifiable asshole. He’d never pressed the issue too much as he was trying to turn that stigma about hockey players around. He never liked Auston, he was always cordial to him in non-ice settings but now that he knew he was the cheating bastard who basically used you; he liked him less.

Play resumed before anything else could happen and Matthew was sure to get in a few good checks in before heading back for the first intermission. When he was back on the ice for the second Auston picked up right where they had left off. “So, you like my sloppy seconds, Tkachuk?” Matthew saw red at the insult, and before he knew what he was doing he dropped his gloves and hit Auston. Inwardly, you cringed at the fight, not wanting to let on to the other girls that you had an idea what the exchange was about. Auston went down easy, with Matthew barely touching him, and so off the penalty box he went, while the Leafs went on the power play. You could see him just sitting there stewing, though you weren’t sure if he was mad at himself for letting Auston get to him or mad at you.

The game ended up tied in the third, and little did you know that Auston took the opportunity to get a few more digs into Matthew. “Does she get as wet for as she did for me, or do you have to work for it?” Johnny had to hold him back from leveling him after that, but Auston didn’t let up. “She was such a fucking slut for me in bed. You know I fucked every hole…” That’s all he got out before going down hard as Matthew planted a right hook to his jaw. But Matthew wasn’t done and went after Auston as he lay on the ice. Matthew was ejected from the game and the Leafs scored on the power play.

There was no interview after the game with Matthew, so you had no idea what he was feeling or how pissed he was. As soon as you got home, you tried to call him but it went straight to voicemail. You tried to tell yourself it didn’t mean anything that maybe he never turned his phone back on after the game or maybe they were already on the flight back to Calgary, as the team played at home the following day, but you just weren’t sure. So, you laid in the king-size bed you shared with Matthew, wrapped up in your favorite old t-shirt of his, simply staring up at the ceiling.

At some point, you must have fallen asleep, for you didn’t hear the door open or Matthew dropping his bag like you usually did. It wasn’t until he crept into bed that you finally knew he was home. He was laying on his back, hands behind his head when you finally rolled over letting him know you were awake. You’d thought about what to say to him before falling asleep but waited for him to say something to you. When he didn’t you simply whispered, “If you want me to go I will.”

“Go?” Matthew questioned now rolling on to his side so he could see you. “Why would I want you to leave?”

“I never wanted to be a problem for you, Matthew, especially not with other players.” It was part of the reason you’d never told him that you’d dated Auston, though you should’ve known that Auston couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

You went to say more, but Matthew stopped you. “You’re not the problem (Y/N). You could never be one.” His fingers ran up and down your arms lightly, just caressing your skin. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.” His lips found yours then, and you melted into the feel of him, savoring how his body started to relax against you.

“Auston’s an asshole.” Matthew finally said, when the two of you broke apart.

“Do I even want to know what he said?”

“Just shit to get me riled up, and it worked.” Your one hand went to the back of his neck, massaging the knotted muscles there. “I’m not stupid. I realize what probably happened between the two of you. I just don’t like hearing it.”

“We both have pasts, Matthew. We can’t change that, but you’re my future.”

He gave you a real quick peck to your lips. “And you’re mine. At least I don’t have to deal with him for a couple weeks.”

You pushed him onto his back before straddling his hips. “Don’t let him get under your skin, babe. When he starts to say something…” you looked him right in the eyes. “And you know he will. Just remind him how you’re the only one I want with me.” You flexed your hips before running your hands up his bare chest. “And in me.” Matthew’s hands went to your waist, where he played with the band of lace on your panties. “You’re more to me than he’ll ever be. Both here,” you taped your heart and then his. “And here.” Lifting your hips, you took your hand and cupped the length of him. His cock instantly hardened under your touch.

Your words spurred Matthew into action, for the next thing you knew he was ripping your panties, before shimming out of his boxers. His fingers went to your folds, where he found you ready for him. “Fuck you’re so wet.”

“Only for you Matthew. Only for you.” It was extra reassurance that you knew Matthew needed and tonight you’d give him as many as he needed. He guided your hips down onto his cock and you sighed out with pleasure as he filled you like no one else ever had.

As you grabbed the hem of your t-shirt Matthew whispered harshly, “Leave it on.” It was one of his Flames shirts; one that had both his name and number on the back. Leaning down you kissed him long and hard, before starting to ride him. It was slow at first, a pace meant to build you both up but not push you over the edge. His hands were everywhere, under your shirt caressing your breasts, wandering down your back to cup your ass, and moving up and down your thighs to quicken your speed.

Finally, he couldn’t take it any longer and he flipped your bodies so that he loomed over top of you. His thrusts were deep and hard, almost punishing if your body hadn’t wanted him so bad. “You belong to me.” He said as he flexed into you, pushing you up against the headboard.

“Yes, baby. Only you.”

“Who?” He asked again and you realized that he was not in the mood to hear any pet names.

“You, Matthew, you,” you answered knowing that he owned you both body and soul, just as you owned him.

“That’s right, baby.” Matthew's thrusts were deep and sure, as he knew what would bring you pleasure, and with a few more flexes of his hips, he sent you spiraling out of control, screaming his name.

“MMMAAATTTTTTTTTTHHHHEEEEEWWW.”

That was all he needed to catch his high and follow you down, your name on his lips. He rolled onto his side taking you with him; your breaths mingling together as you both calmed. Your nails skimmed down his spine aimless, something you tended to do after sex. Matthew always said he loved the continued intimacy it brought, and tonight it felt like you both needed that. His lips found yours, the kiss loving and tender. “I love you, (Y/N),” Matthew whispered while brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. “And I promise, I won’t let Auston get to me next time.”

“Good, because you’re the only man I love Matthew, and the team doesn’t need you getting ejected from games because of me.”

“It won’t happen again.” You truly hoped that it wouldn’t but with Matthew’s temper you never knew.

It was a little over two weeks later that the Flames were taking on the Leafs, this time at the Saddledome, where you were in attendance. Admittedly, you were a bit nervous on the inside as to what would happen between the love of your life and the once lowlife that you'd briefly called boyfriend. You tried to shake off your nerves with idle chatter with some of the girls, but your eyes always seemed to drift back to where Matthew and Auston were on the ice.

Matthew for his part stayed away from center ice for warmups, just like he told you he would. It wasn’t until the second period after a blown whistle that Auston finally decided to poke at him. “How’s that girlfriend Tkachuk? You know if I told her I wanted her back she’d leave you in a second.”

“I doubt that Matthews. She told me you couldn't satisfy her in the bedroom. Something about cumming too soon.” Anger started to radiate across Auston’s face. “You should see a doctor about that.” Matthew skated away, completely ignoring anything Auston would be able to say back.

The game was tied late in the third once again when Auston tried to rile Matthew up again. Considering he had two assists you understood why they wanted your boyfriend out of the game. “It wasn’t me who had the problem Tkachuk, (Y/N)’s pussy was wider than the Grand Canyon.”

“Hmm,” Matthew taunted back. “Must be your small pencil dick, because she’s so tight it’s like a vice-grip around me.” Auston took offense and cross-checked Matthew into the boards right as the play began, earning him two minutes in the penalty box. Matthew laughed at him as the ref took him over. Auston wasn’t there for long, as Matthew scored the game-winning goal forty-some seconds into the penalty. You jumped up out of your seat with the rest of the girls cheering and screaming.

Even though they pulled the goalie, the Leafs couldn’t seem to find the back of the net before the buzzer sounded ending the game. You made your way down to wait outside the tunnel with the rest of the significant others. Most everyone was gone before Matthew finally came out, scooping you up in his arms. “Did you see that baby?”

“I saw Matty,” you told him, kissing him on the lips. “That goal was impressive.”

He finally set you back down on your feet. “No babe, that’s not what I meant. I didn’t let him get to me.”

“Yeah, I saw that too. I’m so proud of you.”

“Well, he can’t get under my skin about you, when I get to be all over yours.” His hands slid under your sweater and inside your jeans to cup your ass. “Speaking of your skin…let’s go home so I can get you out of all these clothes and see you.”

You kissed him, long and languidly, before pulling back. “I like that idea. I like it a lot.” The two of you left the arena hands interlaced just as your bodies would be as soon as you got home.

#Matthew Tkachuk #Matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk imagines #matthew tkachuk smut #matthew tkachuk fanfic #nhl smut #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey smut #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #hockey fanfic #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction

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peeterparkr · 4 years ago

Text

perennial;tom holland|three.

chapter three: peony

↳ flower meaning:pink: romance yellow: jealousy.

chapter summary:

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: angsty a bit, but confort and friendship! mentions of alcohol and mention of sex

word count: 8.6k

SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:

masterlist & profiles two: (y/n): in which y/n now has to be on social media. two:(tom): in which Tom likes certain posts but dislikes some others.

previous chapter next chapter perennial masterlist.

perfidy ( series masterlist)

wanna be tagged?

Mistakes are made, often. That’s what makes us human. Sometimes a little bit too human. Our head and hearts lead us to places where we shouldn’t go. To where our hearts will most likely hurt.

There are people who think it’s easy, decisions and whereabouts but when you’re dealing with the heart, your own heart, it’s not nearly as simple. When your feelings and sanity are at stake is just simply incredibly complicated. Especially when it’s mixed with desire, loneliness, heartbreak and cheap tequila.

A combination of those often leads to disaster. But… it didn’t feel like one. Somehow the decision y/n and Tim had made under the influence not only of alcohol but of a lame attempt to flirt had led them to a place where their secrets had been hidden. To a place that was so sweet and so them. It was odd. How it didn’t feel like a mistake.

How incredibly different it was for y/n, and Tim.

As if they had owed it to each other. Tim knew a lot about y/n. Y/n knew a lot about Tim. But they barely knew anything about them, together. Because there was a spark, there was no denying it. How simple things were when they were together. It flowed. Like a song, one of those songs y/n liked to listen to. Maybe that’s why they were both always pulled back to each other. Because of how easy it flowed. How it never felt like they were doing something wrong, or how it always felt like both of them were only completing each other. They didn’t have to fake anything.

No, it probably wasn’t a disaster. Not yet, at least. But Timmy knew it was a mistake, at least he was getting his own heart at risk because y/n still loved Tom, and she hadn’t been secretive about it. But he’d been broken-hearted too. For a while, now. To live with whom possibly might be the love of your life after breaking up and knowing they love someone else is like a bad joke, not even funny enough to make someone laugh out of pity.

Yet, he woke up to her head against his chest, her hand delicately posing over his skin, legs intertwined. Just like they’ve woken up before. Like old times. And Timmy felt tranquility over his entire body.

The hardest part about breakups is that you never plan them. And you end up with that feeling, one last kiss, one last laugh until midnight, one last breakfast together. One last. But that desire should not be. Was this the last time?

Tim stared at the woman laying on top of him, breathing in slowly. She was so… peaceful, and he hadn’t seen her in such peace for a while. So nice.

Her room was so her, even if she’d changed a lot in the past few months. Tim always wondered how she managed to make her surrounding so… hers. With flowers hanging on her wall, some old posters and new polaroids. Always polaroids. But they were different, of places, of things. No more people on them. She had claimed she hadn’t brought anything from Tom, but Tim knew she was lying. He could see a lot of Tom in her. Even when she didn’t admit it.

He thought it was about Tom, honestly. How she had stopped drinking red wine, and liked rose instead now. How she avoided drinking tea in the morning, or how she had once grimaced when Tim had offered some street hot dogs. How she had once cried when Emma had mentioned something related to New York, and how she kept bringing yellow flowers home.

The way that she had stopped wearing red lipstick, that’s what Timmy had noticed first.

And how different she was from Emma. Emma was still in denial, Tim knew this. Emma still cried at night. But he couldn’t point it out. He knew Emma was still aching so much. And she was the kind to throw it all out and pretend it doesn’t exist. Quite different from y/n who had to live in her melancholy.

Y/N would be that sad smile.

But he knew Emma was the one kind to actually pretend everything was fine. She got angrier. And she’d yell more. And sing.

Way too different the two of them were. Y/N would drown in sad songs and Emma would drown in red wine and listen to upbeat songs. A very different approach.

Y/N would let herself cry and Emma would make herself laugh. Maybe that’s why they worked as friends.

Poor Tim had to deal with his own broken heart alone. Though, this helped him. Tim was the one to order his thoughts quietly, and with hobbies. Photography. Writing. Modelling. Painting. Reading. Even now he wanted to learn new things.

We all deal with heartbreaks in our own way.

But it’s difficult when you also have to help the reason of your own heartbreak to get out of one.

He wondered if she was still in love with Tom or only the memories of him. Sometimes we get confused with that. We often forget we have to be in love with the person, not the story.

But Tim knew he was in love with her, and her story. That’s the problem.

How even with her messed up makeup and her tangled hair he managed to be in love with her. How with the light coming from the sun was bathing her perfectly. A perfect morning, one which he hadn’t had in a while.

Of course, the fantasy had to end.

“Y/N, wake up, you idiot, we have to-what the fuck?” Emma yelled as she dropped her cup of coffee, waking y/n up immediately. “My eyes, no, what the fuck?!”

It was until then in which Tim maybe realized it had been a very big mistake. Y/N covered herself with her sheets as Tim only froze. None of them couldn’t say anything, what were they supposed to say? ‘It’s not that you think’. Because it was. ‘Whoopsies?’

“Woah—No, okay, what the, what the fuck—I’ll wait for you—what the fuck, outside—I—Fucking get dressed at least—“Emma closed the door, leaving the broken cup and coffee staining y/n’s floor. “What the fuck?” She kept cursing outside.

Y/N only blinked and then looked at him. He stared back and then…

They couldn’t help but laugh.

“Fuck,” y/n laughed. “She’s gonna kill us.”

“You think?” He chuckled.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, turning bright red. “I…I don’t even know.”

“In all fairness, she was the one who told us to have some random hookup,” Timmy said. “She never said it couldn’t be between us.”

“You’re an idiot,” she nudged him and laughed again

Tim smiled to himself and let out a snicker, he hadn’t heard her say those words in a while. “Yeah, you too.”

He hadn’t heard her laugh like that in a while. Made him happy.

“Um,” she gulped. “Do we have to… talk about it?”

“No,” Tim said quickly, she blinked. “Not right now,” he continued seeing the confusion in her face. “You have to get ready, you'll be meeting with the director, too! You have to go with her!”

“What the fuck,” they heard Emma yell again.

Tim laughed. “I’ll… take care of her, you go get ready and we’ll…” He gulped. “We will.. Yeah.”

“Yeah,” she was embarrassed as she reached for a shirt, only his was there. “I-uh.”

He blinked as he dressed up as y/n awkwardly waited for him to leave.

“Wait, um, Tim?” She looked up as he was by the door.

“Yeah?” He turned to her.

“Uh… thanks?” She said.

He laughed. “Thanks?”

“I don’t know what you’re supposed to say okay?” She chuckled.

“And thank you was your go-to?” Timmy chuckled. “You really went oh yeah, thanks for… satisfying my needs.”

She blushed. “I didn’t mean--Idiot.”

“No, I know,” he laughed. “Thank you, too.”

He left and then immediately had to face Emma, who ran over to him. “What the fuck?” she yelled… whispering if that was even possible.

“Go get ready you’re going with y/n to meet the director,” he rushed.

“What the fuck?” Emma asked again. “What the fuck?” She followed him.

“Emma, dear, go get ready, also need anything for your hangover? Since you dropped your coffee.”

“Tim, what the hell, what will happen now?”

“I… I don’t know, okay?” Tim said. “I’ll figure it out, alright?”

Emma frowned. “No, Tim, this isn’t… What does it mean?”

“Look, Emma, I don’t know, okay? It’s between me and y/n and-”

“No, but, it’s a big deal!”

“Yes but right now you should worry about the other things and y/n already has a lot in her mind with the movie and with Tom-”

“I fucking know that, but I don’t--Why would? You guys are so both fucking stupid.”

Emma couldn’t finish her sentence because Tim had already closed the door to his room. “Timothée! Don't fucking close.--”

“Go get ready, Em!”

“Timothée!” She yelled. “You’re not-”

“I’m busy!”

Emma didn’t even try anymore. She knew how Timmy acted, and she knew that there was no use in knocking on the door because Timmy was avoiding it. And he would avoid it because Timmy was an idiot.

Y/N was another idiot, and she’d deal with her. But she knew that Tim was definitely not going to be reasonable on this. Because Emma knew Timmy, and he was so stubborn. Especially when it came to y/n. Emma understood, however.

Because y/n was probably to Tim what Harry was to Emma. That inexplicable person who understands you and who completes you and compliments you. The person whom it doesn’t feel like it's a burden, who makes everything better, brighter and prettier. Easier. But that’s not really loving, is it? Love is complicated and stupid and it hurts and Emma didn’t even want to think about it. Because love is a game where we either win, but if it goes wrong we lose, and we lose a lot.

But just like Harry, Emma knew, y/n was probably blinded by someone else. And though initially, she thought y/n was the bad guy in the story, she soon realized it really wasn’t. And not Harry, or maybe, yes Harry had made some wrong choices. But we all do when it comes to deciding about love. That’s love, Emma guessed, making right decisions when it’s the wrong question, and making wrong decisions when it’s the right one. And though she was angry, she missed Harry, too much for her own convenience. It would only take her, she knew, one bright smile.

Emma was someone who understood y/n, because she knew y/n probably would also fall down to her knees if Tom even dared to show up. Because maybe they were both too angry but they were both too in love with them. Stubborn things the hearts are, restless and wandering, stupid love.

Emma knew it, she really had misjudged y/n. Maybe blinded by jealousy and too insecure of herself. Just like she had seen her, only days before, doubting every single thing. And who can really judge someone who is in love? And who can really judge someone who was hurt?

Besides, Tom and Harry were to blame. Not them.

Well, maybe y/n in her own situation. But really, what is there to even understand about Tom and y/n.

So, no, even if Tim was Emma’s everything, Y/N wasn’t to blame in the situation. Timmy wasn’t either.

Emma saw y/n rush through the apartment, from the bathroom to her room, from the room to her kitchen. Wearing a very perfect yellow dress, as she rushed again and again, leaving a stain of her perfume everywhere she was going. Emma decided to get ready too. Ignore the elephant in the room just for a bit.

Y/N didn’t even bother to clean the broken coffee cup in her room as she was pouring some coffee for her.

And then Timmy had walked into the kitchen. And Emma only wanted to see the tension. They were blushing as they bumped into each other, both struggling to get through the other side as they kept bumping, both moving to the same side not letting each other leave.

“Oh, uh, hi,” y/n said.

“Hi,” Timmy grinned.

Emma rolled her eyes. She wanted to puke. So dumb.

“Um, I have to--yeah,” y/n gulped as she tried to walk past him but bumped again. They chuckled.

Emma grimaced. Though this was adorable, she knew they were both going to fuck it up again. They already had, whatsoever.

Tim chuckled as he turned her around so they’d go to their directions. “Yeah, uh, yeah, I... you look… stunning, you’ll do amazing,” he said. Y/N smiled, still blushing.

“Y/N, we have to go,” Emma pushed, knowing this would go extremely wrong.

Y/N shook her head to get out of the trance. “Right, yeah, yeah, thanks.”

And y/n kissed Tim’s cheek, before rushing out with Emma, leaving him dumbfounded.

Emma and her would take the car, and Emma knew it would be the perfect time to question y/n.

Y/N was nervous. Emma could see. With her fingers constantly drumming against the wheel, and her cracking her fingers. LA’s traffic, Emma found it completely soothing. She’d usually have time to think to herself, and in this case, it gave her time to try and figure out where y/n wanted to go with her best friend.

“I have a terrible headache,” Emma pointed out. That was another issue, she’d drank too much the night before. They had stopped at some random Starbucks drive-thru to get breakfast.

“Yeah, being hungover is the worst,” y/n said as she sipped from her coffee.

“And bet waking up from a good shag isn’t,” Emma smirked.

y/n hit the brakes. “Emma!”

“Keep driving! What the fuck!” Emma yelled as they honked at them.

“Shit,” Y/N cursed and continued driving as some cars drove past them.

“Are we going to talk about it?” Emma laughed as they continued.

“No.”

“No?” Emma rolled her eyes. “Y/N you slept with Tim!”

“Yeah, I know, I know!”

“Of course you know, you were there, idiot,” Emma rolled her eyes. “And? How the fuck”

Y/N bit her lip as she started turning red, and stressed. “I dunno we were flirting all night and it sort of happened it was an-”

“An accident?” Emma interrupted. “No don’t fucking tell me it was an accident you just don’t open your legs and let a dick slip in.”

Y/n rolled her eyes and let out a laugh. “Emma!” She grinned. “No, I wasn’t going to say that.”

Emma chuckled as she took a bite of her breakfast sandwich “What were you going to say then?”

“I don’t know I think it led there,” y/n admitted. “And before we knew it we were making out on the couch and then I was taking off his clothes in my room.”

“Did it really lead there?”

“Well it must have if it happened, don’t you think?” Y/N sassed.

Emma laughed, rolling her eyes. “How was it?”

“Emma!”

“No, never mind, I don’t want to know how my best friend since diapers shags.”

Y/N blushed even more as she reached out to playfully hit her. “You’re an idiot!”

Emma grinned. They stayed quiet for a bit. Even if Emma, as a friend was kind of angry or disappointed or however one feels when both your best friends are complete idiots, she was quite amused by the entire situation.

“Do you have feelings for Tim?” Emma asked after a while of them singing along to the music playing on the radio.

Y/N bit her lip. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Look, it did lead there but... I didn't want it to happen initially because I-”

“You still love Tom,” Emma finished her sentence.

“Yes I do,” y/n sighed.

“Fuck, y/n,” she shook her head and clicked her tongue. It was a very complicated situation. However, she knew that y/n hadn’t done this in the slightest to hurt Tim. Emma was well aware y/n was probably very, very confused. Yes, she shouldn’t do this kind of stupid things, but Emma understood where it came from.

“Yes, but Tom’s not here so I can figure it out,” y/n pointed out. “Besides he’s probably making love to Cherry.”

“Making love,” Emma mocked. “I love you talk like you’re 13.”

y/n laughed. “Shut up.”

“Look, y/n, I’m your friend but Timmy.”

“Tim is first I know.”

“Yes but no, he’s an idiot because he clearly fucking has feelings for you and he’s the one playing with fire here,” Emma said. “I mean and you are too, but you are confused and stupid and-”

“Thanks,” Y/N chuckled. “I don’t know what to do, Emma.”

“Well, are you going to do anything about it?”

Y/N didn’t answer right away. She had to think through her response. “It's cause with Tim I feel… I don’t even feel like it was a mistake.” “

“No?”

“No, and you know usually everyone thinks sleeping with their ex is a mistake-”

“Which it is.”

“But that’s the thing with Tim, I just.. It’s”

“But y/n, do you love him?”

“I do…. But”

“But Tom,” Emma finished the sentence.

“Yes,” Y/N sighed. “And I don’t want to hurt Tim, he deserves someone better than me.”

Emma groaned. “He’s a man.”

“But he-”

“Look, y/n you’re both fucking grown-ups but I would advise both of you to stay out of that territory.”

“Yes.”

“And like, if you need it, get another man to satisfy those needs.”

“It wasn’t about needs,” y/n snapped condescendingly.

“Uh-huh sure,” Emma confined. “I’m pretty sure it was a cleanse from Tom.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Please, y/n.”

“I don’t know, alright?” she frowned. “I’m sad and stupid and I felt like shit, like actually on the floor everyone stepping on me, and then Tim made me feel like I wasn’t shit okay and apparently.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, no, I get it.”

“I’m a mess.”

“Yeah.” Emma laughed.

“Maybe with time,” y/n said to herself.

“What?”

“Maybe with time I could try it out again with Tim.”

“But don’t only do it because you’re hurt.”

“No, that’s why I need to wait, because I need to be sure I don’t have any feelings for Tom,” she admitted “And I do now”

“But you’ll always do.”

“It’s complicated,” she said. “You have to understand that I’ve loved him my whole life and… And I still feel guilty about it, and I still am hurt about this,” y/n continued. “And I am confused and I just…” she clicked her nose. “I don’t even think I want to let go yet, okay? That’s the problem, because I’m stupid enough to keep thinking I will have yet another stupid chance with him.”

“Yes, stupid.”

“Well, is it wrong that I believe in love?”

Emma watched her. “Is that love?”

“It was, or at least it felt like it,” y/n said.

“Feel like isn’t the same as being.”

“It is love,” y/n stated. “In a very stupid and unexplainable way and I don’t… Get why I love him, alright? Even after everything. But now I am angry because yes I fucked up and now he’s with Cherry and I can’t help but wonder what could’ve gone better and-”

“But y/n-”

“Look Emma, exactly after my heartbreak I found Timmy, okay?” Y/N took a deep breath as she was gripping to the wheel a bit more than expected. “What if Cherry is his Timmy? The one who’s perfect for him, the one who everyone sees and thinks oh shit, they were made for each other.”

“Oh, now I….”

“But I don’t know, alright?” Y/N was now clearly speaking to herself. “I just.. I am confused and I need to think about it and I need to let my heart sort it out, and be alright with it, and then before I know it, I’ll be back in London having to deal with his stupid ass again.”

“y/n.”

“It’s cause Emma, I can’t stop thinking about Tom, alright?” She sounded annoyed. “And maybe it should’ve all stayed like it was before, and I shouldn’t have written that stupid script and.”

“No, y/n, no, shut up,” Emma stopped her. “The script is the one thing you can rescue from this, alright?”

“I-”

“We are… Look we don’t even have to talk about this right now? Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” y/n gulped.

“Let’s change the subject because we are meeting the director.”

“Directors,” y/n corrected.

“What?”

“Two, apparently, they were very interested in the project,” y/n sounded excited.

“Oh?”

“Which by the way!” She sounded excited. “Please, can you please check teen vogue apparently they know the bloody cast and I don’t-”

“The cast as in... the cast for dos-a-dos?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, shit, yeah, yeah, alright, okay so let me….” Emma took out her phone and quickly checked the article. “Fuck oh my goood.”

“Who is it?” Y/N yelled and tried to snatch the phone from Emma.

“No, wait, okay, are you ready?”

“Fuck yes, bloody tell me!”

Emma grinned. “So it’s Auli’i Cravalho as Valerie.”

“No way, oh my god, I love her what the hell,” y/n chirped as she then made a very high pitched noise.

“Shut up!” Emma laughed. “Yes oh my god, oooh, that hottie Gregg Sulkin is William.”

Y/N made another high pitched.

“Shit, I’m… okay, and Jordan Fisher is Teddy.”

“Oh my god, that’s perfect!”

“And… Fuck, Asa Butterfield as Robbie,” Emma said. She took a deep breath. Robbie… as in… Harry.

“Oh my god!” Y/N was too excited to notice her friend had turned a little bit sad.

“Yeah.”

But then she turned to her. “You know what?” Y/N grinned. “You’re right fuck all this men trouble let’s be excited about this!”

“Yes!” Emma chirped.

How magical it is to have a friend. And suddenly all of y/n’s troubles were forgotten. She needed to brighten up, this was her bloody dream for god’s sake. She needed to get her mind and forget every single man in her life right now, except probably the cast, or whoever she was working with. Were they female directors? Brothers? Sisters? Friends? Couple?

It was… exciting.

Though her mind did go back to her encounter with Tim. Where would she go with this? She was nervous enough about it. But she had to focus, right? She needed to sort some things out. Alessandra, her absolute pain in the ass, but the brilliant boss was nervous about it, too. But she seemed excited. Her new ‘y/n’, or assistant, Josh was absolutely the best. Nice guy. He had told y/n where she had to go, meeting room, time, everything.

“He’s cute,” Emma said as soon as he left.

Y/N looked up from the million papers she was given. “Who is?”

“Josh…?I think that was his name?” Emma said, blushing.

Y/N blinked. “Oh?” She chuckled. “You’re... Serious?”

Emma coughed and then sipped from the cup that barely even had any coffee now. “No, forget it.”

Y/N watched Josh from afar. He was handsome, but was he… Ah, yeah, the curls. It was Emma’s type. Completely.

“I can… introduce you to him?” Y/N offered mischievously. “He is cute alright, yes that could work.”

“No, shut up, no,” Emma laughed, embarrassed. “It was just a random comment.”

Y/N chuckled. “You know what? He’s coming back so--- Josh!” Y/N grinned as she tried to rush to her boss’ assistant. “Josh!”

“No, fuck, y/n, no shut up,” Emma rushed to him.

Josh was in fact, coming back, holding some pink flowers. “

“Josh!” Y/N grinned as Emma was jumping over y/n trying to stop her.

“Hi, uh, this came in,” He said before y/n could even say anything. Emma, embarrassed, backed up. “For you,” Josh said,handing the peonies to her and then checked his phone.

“What?” Y/N froze as she saw them.

From Tim. Of course.

Emma stared at them. “Wait… those are.”

“Uh, yeah, and okay, you know what? No time to… Give them to the directors if you want or whatever, but apparently they’re here, so let’s rush.”

“Uh--what?”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s--sorry if I sound bossy but Alessandra,” he said.

Y/N turned to look at Emma. Confusion washing her face, but excitement, too. But she was more confused. Mind going back to Tim. What the hell was she supposed to do? How did she even feel about that? Flowers. Flowers. Flowers.

“Y/N, look. Let’s, forget about this, now we need you to focus on this and-” Emma assured her.

“Right, right.”

Y/N was too nervous. This was it. Somehow this made it real. It would go quick, right? And she’d be able to talk to them and maybe they’d show her their vision and it would be amazing. Yes, this was exciting. She’d have time to think about whatever had happened with Tim later. And the flowers.

Because Tim had sent this, and this could mean him wishing her good luck, or this could be Tim… trying to tell her something. Probably that. And right now it was time to pretend that she hadn’t been crying over months already, and that she hadn’t just gone out the night before to try and forget an ex that probably was too busy with another girl.

Her mind couldn’t go there, it had to go back to professional y/n. Y/N the writer, that’s who she was that day. The y/n that had a dream.

And she saw Alessandra, talking to two men. And then… Time started going too fucking slow.

Too fucking slow.

Tom and Harry.

Harry and Tom.

Tom.

Harry.

Tom.

“Harry,” Emma said.

“Tom.”

There he was. In all his splendour. Bright smile on his face, hair pushed back, that pair of eyes that y/n had missed and hadn’t realized. Fuck, those eyes. It had never occurred to her how much she loved his eyes, so kind and bright. Eyes that made anyone feel like they were the only person in the world, a glance that either made her feel so special. Eyes that could easily have her undressed in less than she could even say his name. That smile, and him. Fuck it was him. With those stupid angel eyes. The reason why she had never ever stopped loving him, because even after everything he’d give her that glance.

Tom.

And it went so slow, her realization. He was there. As if she didn’t initially believe it. As if everything she’d said before was thrown away. And it came back to her, how much he had missed him. He was there, with that stupid smile of his, with that stupid white t-shirt and denim jacket. And that pair of eyes.

And just as y/n had paused and ran out of breath, he looked up and dug his own sight on hers. He took a deep breath as he was assimilating it as well. She saw him swallow as he then smiled at her.

Fuck, the world stopped. And if y/n hadn’t been confused from the night before she probably would’ve been stupid enough to run to his arms. If this was a rom com she would’ve jumped to kiss him, she would have forgotten everything and forgiven everything. But she was hurting.

But she was confused and she… was… angry.

Because she was angry and she was confused.

She was confused and she was angry.

“Tom,” she whispered again.

Running out of breath. She needed to run away. Emma had stopped walking too. The peonies had landed on the floor and y/n hadn’t even realized it.

Seemed like all Y/N and Emma did was to drop things when they were surprised.

But no, yes… Y/N was angry, yes and confused. She had to remember that. Tom, Tom was there. And the flowers Timmy had given her were on the floor. She was flustered and she was pretty sure she was sweating and she wanted to run away from him, but to his arms at the same time. She couldn’t walk, and Emma couldn’t either. Emma had only held y/n’s hand. She was sweating.

And Harry. Harry was there, too. And she was even more confused about him. She didn’t know where she was standing with him. Her best friend who had kissed her. But she was holding his ex-fiancée’s hand.

Harry. Tom.

And then the flowers. Timmy. She’d slept with Tim the night before. And she had just said how she still loved that idiot. How handsome he looked. And perfect. And god, she just wanted to kiss him.

No, no. She couldn’t…. Tom. Tom was there. His eyes brightened up. And y/n fucking knew it, it would only take him another smile for y/n to be back in his arms. But wasn’t she angry? Wasn’t he angry? She was.

Angry and confused.

Because hey, he was there and she needed to remind herself that she was hurt by him. But then why didn’t she feel hurt? Why the hell did she only want to run into his arms? She needed to remember how much she had cried over and how many times he’d hurt her and how these days she had decided that she wouldn’t try, though she wanted to. And Cherry, yes Cherry. She had to remember… Then why the hell was she feeling that way? Why were her knees getting weak and why was her heart rushing? As if her broken heart had disappeared.

No, and… What… What was he doing there? She saw his lips move, he was saying something.

And Emma was also not having it, she was shaking, sweating cold as she saw the love of her life standing right there, dumbfounded and nervous. Emma wanted to puke, and Emma wanted to faint and run away. But it was weird, because just like y/n, she wanted to forget everything and just run back to him and kiss him.

One smile, Emma knew, that’s all it would take for her to forget and forgive everything. What the hell were they doing there?

Harry was just watching Emma, his eyes were only on her. Fuck, y/n. Yes, Emma had to be reminded of that, too. Her ex-fiancé had kissed the woman beside her. Her ex-fiancé had loved the woman beside her. But then again the woman beside her was already drooling over Tom.

“Y/N!” Alessandra said, making Emma at least come back to her senses. “Hey, come here dear, please meet … Well, I bet you already know who he is, Tom and Harry Holland.”

“Y/N,” Tom whispered with a smile.

“They’re directing the movie.”

“They’re… what?” Was all y/n could ask as she dropped to the floor. Emma widened her eyes. Lucky bitch y/n was, she had passed out. She didn’t have to deal with this. Josh quickly kneeled beside y/n as he tried to wake her up. Emma herself wasn’t doing fine, she needed some air, too. She only leaned against the wall. She was also running out of air.

Tom, Harry and Alessandra rushed over to the floor to see y/n. Alessandra ordered Josh to go for water or whatever. Tom quickly kneeled on the floor as he helped y/n sat up, sitting her against the wall. He was quick to take her hand.

Harry didn’t even care it seemed, or.. Emma didn’t know what the hell was going on, she avoided his glance as he was struggling to see between them.

“Hi,” he whispered.

“Yeah, no,” Emma said as she then realized that probably her friend would faint again if she saw who was there again. “Uh, no, no, no,” she kneeled beside. “Not you,” she said to Tom. “This will make things worse.”

“Emma it’s okay, we need to loosen up her clothes,” Tom tried to wake her up.

“Wouldn’t you love that,” Emma commented. “No, Tom, please,” Emma said, as she fanned her hand to Y/N.

Y/N woke up, tears in her eyes as she breathed in a big puff of air.

“You should’ve stayed passed out, dumbass, you wouldn’t have to deal with this,” she whispered to her friend.

y/n confused, was heavily breathing.

“Y/N, Y/N,” Alessandra said. “Are you okay? Where the hell is Josh?”

“Y/N, you okay?” Tom asked as he reached for her hand. Emma flicked his hand away.

“Y/N are you okay?” Emma finally asked.

Y/N blinked and then turned to see her surrounding, yes the nightmare was still going.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I need to…” She stared at Tom. “No.”

Tom blinked.

Y/N tried to stand up.

“y/n no, stay there,” Tom warned.

“No,” she stood up, or tried to, Emma helped her up. “I need to… We need to, can I go to the restroom? Yes?” She was too nervous.

“Do you need-” Tom asked.

“No,” Y/N and Emma answered at the same time. Alessandra helped Emma to settle y/n who was still kind of spinning, Josh had arrived, too with a bottle of water.

“Water? That’s all you brought?” Alessandra asked. Josh had to back away.

Tom tried to follow after. Emma glared at him, and Harry stopped him. Luckily, the restroom was close enough.

Alessandra walked over. “Y/N, sweetie, everything okay?”

“No,” y/n laughed cynically.

“I’ll go get you something else, here’s the water and I’ll--- Can you take care of her, sweetie?” Alessandra asked Emma.

“Yeah.”

As soon as Alessandra had left, both friends were ready to have the mental breakdown they deserved to have. Y/N rested her hands against the sink staring at the mirror, as Emma was leaning against the wall ready to scream.

“What the fuck are they doing here?” Emma yelled, throwing her hands in the air. “What the fuck in the fuckery fuck, I need fuck fuck, fuck… FUCK!”

“I don’t know!” y/n cried as the tears were streaming down her face already.

“Why, why, why, why, why?” Emma yelled.

Honestly, both of them just kept asking questions to the air, cursing, y/n trying to clean up the tears as they both quickly paced.

Emma stopped Y/N. “What the fuck.”

“I don’t know!” She was so stressed.

Emma started shaking y/n. “Y/N I can’t handle this! That is Harry, Harry Holland as in my ex fiancée, my ex fiancé Harry Holland is outside. Harry!”

“I know! I know! Fuck I know!”

“And that’s Tom as in Tom the guy you were crying over yesterday!” Emma, needless to say, was freaking out.

“Emma I know!” Y/N yelled.

“What the fuck?”

“I don’t know!” Y/N said. “I don’t know, fuck, no, no, I.. No, why?”

“What the hell are they doing here?”

“Directing apparently, is this a nightmare? It must be a nightmare, yes, this is a nightmare!” Y/N stated.

And it felt like a fever nightmare, honestly. After two more minutes of freaking out, of them trying to figure out-- or complain about it for more, honestly what could they do? They were both sad, trying not to cry and who would take care of that situation? Alessandra walked in.

“Y/N dear, here,” Alessandra gave her a juice. “Did you have anything for breakfast, has this happened before? Why are you both crying?”

“Yeah, okay, no, I’m… why are they?” Y/N stated. Alessandra’s eyes widened. “Yeah, Tom, and Harry. Why?” Y/N couldn’t even complete a sentence.

“What?” Alessandra frowned.

“Yeah, he’s-We are not,” y/n gulped. “Why are they the directors? Why… can we change them?”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible…But may I ask why?”

“I just… We…” y/n couldn’t talk.

“She knows them and she’s not in good terms with them,” Emma explained.

“Why are they?” That’s all y/n could say, a half ass sentence that probably didn’t have much sense, but it did in a certain way. Why are Harry and Tom? Yes that made sense. That was the question she wanted to ask.

“Look, we will.. Want me to reschedule for tomorrow? I’m sure they’ll understand, you go home and rest, or I’ll-”

“Yes, I’m perfectly sure they’ll understand,” Emma hissed..

Before they could even know, they were heading out of the studio. They saw Tom and Harry try to approach them but Alessandra explained the situation, that y/n was sick. Of course they had understood, or pretended to that is.

Emma and y/n were not in a good place, of course. And y/n could definitely not go to the apartment because there she’d find Tim and that was something that she didn’t need to add to the situation. The three most important men in her love life were all now in the same city and y/n was definitely not doing alright. Life was playing a cheap trick on her and was laughing in her face. She couldn’t face Tom. Hell, no, less in that situation. She was angrier now, because how dare them search for her script?

They probably were only there to ruin it, especially Tom. Yes that was it. And why was she feeling that way? Didn’t she say hours before that she wanted him to come for her and try again? But not like this.

Not like this.

Emma was driving because y/n was still out of breath. Funny how it is. Emma was playing the music loudly and was actively ignoring everything, only focusing on the road. She drove them to the flower shop. A safe space for them both.

Aunt Eliza had received them both, not sure what the hell had happened but she had hugged her niece and then offered them to have whatever they wanted. Emma had poured something for herself in her cup, and y/n was only having a glass of water. Emma explained the situation to Eliza.

“I just can’t believe he’d do something like this you know? Fucking direct my script,” Y/N was complaining. “I just—can’t believe it! what the hell was he thinking? Didn’t he hate it? He said he hated it. Bloody hell, he’s an asshole he’s here to ruin it, isn’t it?”

“And Harry... “ Emma was going through a very different kind of emotion. Did Harry there for y/n? Or was he there for Emma?

“Fuck why are they doing this?” Y/N asked.

“Because men,” Eliza said, rolling her eyes.

“Yes men are trash!” Emma raised her mug.

“I know, I know but wait how are you so calm?” Y/N asked Emma.

Emma laughed. “I’m not!” She grinned. “I’m just… This situation is hilarious, innit? You see this cup?”

Y/N frowned. “Yeah.”

“This isn’t coffee,” Emma explained.

“What?” Eliza asked.

“Let’s say this is Irish coffee but it’s only irish whiskey and no coffee,” Emma explained.

“I need one of those,” Y/N admitted.

“I’ll.. Look, I’ll go buy you girls some wine and we can order something and… Can you take care of the place? It won’t be busy.”

“Yeah.”

Both girls stayed quiet as y/n had sipped from Emma’s mug, too.

“Harry looked really handsome didn’t he-” “Did you see Tom’s eyes?” They said at the unison. They were both lost. So, so lost. They probably hadn’t even heard each other.

“His hair looked pretty,” Emma said.

Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose. “When he smiled at me…”

“And then he was so shy and he got all nervous and…” Emma ran a hand through her hair.

“Shit like when he said my name I just—”

“And he smelled nice didn’t he?” Emma asked.

“Did he get a haircut?” Y/N asked.

“He looked so… nice,” Emma continued.

Y/N blinked listening to her. “Wait, no what the fuck?” Y/N asked. “We are angry!”

Emma snapped out of her trance and turned to her. “Huh? “

“Yes Emma what—why the fuck are we daydreaming here?” She asked. “These men are idiots!”

Emma nodded. “Right, right, no, what are we doing?”

“I can’t believe it,” y/n said. “I can’t believe I dared to even think this would be nice, for God’s sake, a week ago I was daydreaming of seeing him thinking it would be so nice and adorable and perfect and rom com moment, instead I got the throat thickening, heart pounding, heavy breathing, stupid love,” she complained.

“I felt butterflies,” Emma admitted. “And that’s why I’m apparently day drinking to drown those suckers!”

“Why are we even daydreaming Emma? We should, dunno, not this!”

“In my defense I was engaged to that man, I have the right.”

“I have the right to, I’ve been bloody in love with dumb Tom my whole life, I think I’ve got the right,” she complained.

Emma laughed. “We are clowns, y/n, that’s it, that’s the only explanation.”

“I was literally crying over him yesterday,—and I bloody fainted!” Y/N paced around the shop, as Emma laughed. “I mean, I do understand why I feel like this, but then again-”

“Shut up.”

“No, Emma, you don’t understand god, I know I am not supposed to feel this way but-”

“Shut up.”

“He’s got lovely eyes, didn’t he? Eyes which are daggers, nonetheless, and he was killing me with them-”

“Y/N shut up!”

“No,I need to-- fuck if I saw him smile once more at me and I’d be on my knees--What the hell are you doing here?” She asked, as the figure that once terrorized her was terrorizing her again.

Tom.

She didn’t faint this time, but she felt like she was going to. Tom was there, again with thAT perfect pair of eyes he dared to have.

“Hi,” he said. He looked nervous and he was probably shaking. But he had a smile on his face, a nervous shy smile.

“What the hell are you doing here?” She asked again.

“I uh--Cherry told me you were working here and her mother told her that Emma worked at some other place where I’m sure Harry is now—but guess I’ll tell him to… hi Emma,” Tom said nervously as he dedicated a glance to Emma.

“No,” answered Emma simply.

“Fine okay,” he cleared his throat. “So Cherry told me-”

“Cherry,” y/n repeated. And there it was, the sole reminder she needed to get back to her senses. She closed her eyes, and laughed.

“Yes, Cherry-”

“Well I’m—,yeah well you can leave now,” y/n said as she walked behind the counter.

“ just came here to talk y/n,” Tom said.

Y/N frowned as she started to clean whatever, moving mugs around, glasses, flowers. “Yeah can’t do that I’m working, see?”

“Then I’m here for coffee,” Tom said, approaching her leaning against the counter.

“The… machine is not working, you can leave,” she said.

“Then I’m here for flowers,” Tom answered smugly.

“We... are closed.”

“Then I guess I’m here to ask you out so we can talk,” Tom said again.

“No,” y/n answered with a smirk as she then walked out to fix some flowers.

“She wants you to leave, idiot,” Emma commented.

Tom gulped and followed after y/n. She was staring at the flowers, as if she tried to arrange the petals on them, moving them around, doing anything but looking at him.

“Y/N we need to talk.”

“We are doing that and I’m not liking it,” y/n snapped.

Tom chuckled. “Y/n come on, please?”

She shook her head. “No,” she kept pacing through the shop, it seemed like she was running out of places to run to. But the flowers surrounding them, which usually calmed her, somehow made her even sadder. Lots and lots of yellow flowers, only accentuated by the yellowness of her dress.

“Why not?” He followed after, he grabbed her hand.

She quickly pulled her hand away. “Because I’m angry at you.”

“Oh, are you now?” Tom said.

She finally turned to him. “Yes because why the hell are you directing it?”

Tom approached her, only inches from her. “They called me.”

Y/N frowned. “No, you called for it, you perfectly know that, didn’t you hate it?”

“Well, I might have called, I think it’s got a lot of potential,” Tom said.

“You’re just doing this to ruin it,” y/n snapped.

“I’m not actually,” he answered camly, staring at her. “I really like the story, an ode to the 80’s with a personal story.”

Somehow looking deeply into his eyes awakened something in y/n, so she looked away completely avoiding his gaze.

“Why are you really here, Tom?” She frowned.

“I came here to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk,” she said walking away.

“Clearly,” Tom rolled his eyes. “But come on y/n,” he followed after her, rushing to stop her by walking in front of her.

“No.”

“Oh, so you’re the one who is angry now?” He frowned.

“Yes.”

“Do you remember everything that happened?”

Y/N chuckled dryly. “Yeah, years building up of hating each other, bullying each other, Rome, that night at the club and a pink skirt, a vinyl, that drunken night that probably was a mistake, a date on a plane 3 yellow flowers by you, some by me and lavenders, a script, that disaster at the engagement party, a very, very hurtful breakup I don’t know how many heartbreaks and... my script which you’re now directing, and now due to that bloody script we have to maintain a professional relationship, and if you want to talk to me we will do it tomorrow in that damn meeting,” she snapped as she walked back to Emma. “Goodbye, you can leave.”

Emma was rather amused by the situation, probably the whiskey had an effect on her.

“Oh but we were never good at being professional,” Tom said, following after.

Y/N only glared at him, crossing her arms.

He walked over with a smile, he lifted her chin. She pushed his hand away. “What are you doing?” She asked.

“I’m smiling, didn’t that get you weak in the knees?” He smirked.

“You’re an idiot,” she pushed him.

“Y/n,”he complained.

“Tom why are you even doing this why—?”

“Because--”

“No Tom,” she interrupted. “I don’t even want your reasons,” she frowned. “You know how much this means to me and how much I worked to get a chance for it and I know you hated the script and I know you hate me but getting back at me with this? This is just some other level-”

“I’m not doing this to hurt you.”

“Well you are hurting me! God once again!” She snapped.

“Y/N, Can we please talk about it?” Tom said.

“No, I’m gonna go to the back and when I come back I hope I don’t see you here, don’t you dare follow me,” she said as she finally rushed to the back of the storage closet.

Tom sighed as he closed his eyes with stress. He turned to Emma.

“Yeah don’t look at me, I’m even angrier,” Emma commented.

“Harry went to look for you,” he admitted.

“Ah,” she rolled her eyes.

“He really loves you,” Tom commented.

“Hm.”

“He was confused.”

“Look I… really Tom you’re the person I really don’t want to talk to,” Emma snapped. “you're literally the last person I want to talk to because if it hadn’t been for you ruining my-”

“I’m sorry-”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Tom,” she said. “Besides I don’t know what you’re expecting from y/n.”

“I thought we were supposed to heal and then go back to each other.”

“So you thought that calling to direct her script was the go to?” Emma frowned. “The one project that’s got her excited, you come in, how would you feel if she had walked into a project of yours?”

“Well she’s brilliant but-”

“I’m serious, Tom, you probably wouldn’t be happy, besides… It’s not that simple and you can’t prance in here and smile and pretend it’s fine, and expect her to go back to you.”

“But-”

“No buts, Tom, she’s had one hell of a month trying to get over you,” Emma snapped.

“I love her.”

“You do now? You have no trouble hurting her for someone who claims to love her.”

Tom frowned. “You barely know-”

“No, I do know, I know more than you think, at least I know her, and I must admit she probably still has feelings for you yes but that doesn’t mean she didn’t spend this whole month crying over you and being sad about it.”

“But-”

“And maybe it was easy for you both to show up and think you’re going to solve it, but you don’t even remotely understand it. It might be easy for you, yes, you lost her. And that must have been hard,” she said. “But for her? God, she lost Harry, Sam, and you in one single night.”

“But-”

“Tom I don’t even know what you’re trying to do, I just need you to understand this , you come back into her life and--”

“I want to do the project so we can make something beautiful out of it, okay? And I’ve been dying to see her and I want to work something out-”

“And you think Harry and you showing up will just make it better?”

“No.”

“Then? I’m sorry Tom but that girl is my best friend and I can’t let you hurt her again, but I also know what you mean to her, and… All I know is you’re an idiot, a really big idiot for trying to show up and mend things, of course she won’t talk to you today,” Emma rolled her eyes, tired. “The best advice I can give you is to let her assimilate this, she bloody fainted when she saw you, don’t you think that’s explanation enough?” Emma frowned.

“I-Maybe it was a mistake,” Tom sighed. “Coming here.”

“You think?” Emma frowned.

Tom sighed. “I only have… one question.”

“What?”

“What is going on with Tim and her?”

Emma didn’t answer.

Eliza arrived just at that moment. “I brought the wine!” She announced. “Oh,” that was the only thing she could say.

Tom gulped. “Hello, hi, uh, I came here to buy some flowers?” He looked up.

Eliza only dedicated a glance to Emma, she nodded at her.

“Oh, yes, of course, uh…” Eliza answered as she handed her shopping bags to Emma. “Any particular type?”

Tom looked around the room and his eyes quickly landed on the first yellow flowers. Yellow peonies. He picked them up and then paid for them.

“Give them to her, please,” Tom said, handing it over to Emma.

He then proceeded to leave.

“Yellow peonies?” Eliza frowned. “Second peonies for y/n today. Tim ordered some for her, did she get them? At the studio?”

“Yes, she did,” Emma

“That was odd, that’s Tom, right? Must be a mistake if he chose peonies like Tim, besides, yellow peonies mean jealousy, must be a mistake.”

“No, I don’t think it was.”

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perfidy ( series masterlist)

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hopeshoodie · 4 years ago

Text

Rarepair Sunday- Hopeisol

Headcanons

The actual power couple we deserved. The both came into the game with opposing strategies- Hope thought it was important to be cordial with everyone and play the social game, Marisol came in prepared to be extremely competitive and selfish.

But throughout the game, they gradually adopt each other strategies unknowingly (as Marisol burns through partners she’s only tethered by her platonic relationships with MC and Noah, and Hope reverts to being territorial and selfish because MC/Priya sabotaged her relationship and didn’t have the decency to not gamify it). Marisol approaches Hope towards the end, after she breaks up with Graham for flirting with MC, to thank her for the advice. “You were right, the only thing keeping me sane is the friendships. It was dumb to actively TRY and sabotage friendships with the girls for the sake of gameplay.” And Hope starts silently crying because she feels like she hasn’t had the luxury of that.

They hug, Marisol leans in for a kiss, Hope hesitates, then Marisol pulls away and starts apologizing profusely for ‘misreading the situation’. Hope shushes her by kissing her back, and it gets heated.

When they pull away Hope laughs lightly and admits “that hardly helps my inability to build friendships.” Marisol grins and kisses her again, deeply. They get a little handsy, but it doesn’t go much further.

Neither of them talk about it after. Marisol starts dating Elisa, and gets really involved in the toxicity of that relationship. Hope finishes the game with Noah.

Both relationships don’t survive the real world for more than three months. Hope finds her mind periodically drifting back to Marisol…

After sending a text, they meet up for brunch and the rest is history. For some reason being out of the villa erases a lot of their awkwardness- now they’re just best friends. They ramble about politics with each other, have most of the same values, and consume the same kind of media. Hope invites Marisol on a work trip to somewhere in South America, and they become more than friends.

Best. Dressed. Couple. Ever. Neither of them keep active social media, but what does get posted to instagram is absolute fire. Marisol has that really classic, monotone, sleek fashion taste and Hope has the really elegant style with bright contrasting colors and sharp silhouettes. They are… Stunning.

A lot of LITG couples struggle with the day to day. Hope and Noah struggled with this- they were totally fine when they were doing grand gestures or being intensely affectionate, but then when little hiccups came up or the daily minutiae of making food/going about their daily life set in they couldn’t keep the same affectionate energy. Hope and Marisol do not have that problem what so ever. While they can be super affectionate, that part of their relationship is a bit more lacking whilst they get along really well on all the little details.

Their dynamic is like highschool lovers because neither of them have had such an emotionally important sapphic relationship before. They’re absolutely infatuated with one another and feel like it’s them against the world. There’s a ‘we’re building our empire’ vibe. But equally explosive is their arguments- Marisol is passive aggressive and Hope is SO reactive. Their disagreements, though few and far between, end in screaming and sobbing in separate rooms. They definitely break up a few times, then Hope will bring flowers and beg to get back together or Marisol will awkwardly show up and pretend that nothing ever happened. They mellow out with age and consistency in the relationship, but the first few years are super intense.

Love is Hope making an effort to plan out vacations/events for them then insisting Marisol follow through and come. Love is Marisol encouraging Hope to find a WOC therapist and talk about anger management and insecurity with her. Love is Hope holding Marisol accountable for making selfish mistakes and insisting, calmly and firmly, that she needs to apologize and make amends. Love is Marisol finding little jokes that make Hope laugh and then peppering them around her world, forcing Hope to admit that she loves the ducks of the month.

No kids, no attachments to their hometowns, two large corporate incomes- they live their absolute best life. Travelling and fashion are the big investments for them. I don’t think either of them really feels a need for home ownership, so they periodically upgrade just for the hell of it and enjoy condo/apartment living.

Almost every day they visit each other’s office for lunch. It’s not a consistent ‘at noon my wife comes’ because it changes with their workflow. But even if it’s a busy day, Hope will visit and sneak Marisol a coffee during a 5 minute break, or Marisol will show up and they’ll eat lunch in Hope’s office with the door firmly closed and the blinds drawn. They’re not overly affectionate in public though- Marisol is a fan of kissing Hope’s wrist and the back of her hand, and Hope loves to run her hands through Marisol’s hair and hold the back of her neck.

Light nsfw but they definitely come into their own sexually through each other. Neither of them has a lot of experience with women, and I think if they were with someone who was experienced it would be a process of embarrassment and discomfort. But because they’re both learning together, the power dynamic is a lot more balanced and they don’t enforce strict roles onto themselves.

They adopt a really crotechedy, mean old cat and constantly joke that he’s the man of the house. He’s an asshole, but they’d both die for him (and they both just want some other presence to be in the home, even if they don’t interact with him outside of sitting in the same room).

While they’re still friendly with the other contestants, they’re much closer to their non-Love Island friends, and are generally more isolated than other characters. They’ll show up to the 1 year, 5 year, and 10 year reunion, but not much more than that. Neither of them were close enough to keep tabs on or reach out to other islanders. Maybe Noah reaches out years down the road and he reconciles with Hope, but neither of them feel the need to keep in touch.

They are SO supportive of each other’s projects and careers. They both intently listen to the other ramble about their workdays, have a deep understanding of what the other’s position and role is, and want the other to be challenged. Marisol often jokes (and honestly it’s kind of true) that if Hope was sick she could fill in, and a couple of times when ranting about a negotiation Hope has suggested a tactic that ended up working.

When Marisol’s dad is struggling with alzheimers, Hope is honestly more attentive to him and the situation than Marisol can bring herself to be. Hope visits him at least three times a week, takes charge of all the arrangements, and encourages Marisol to visit him on ‘good days’ while quietly discouraging her from visiting on bad days.

They’re the best aunties to Hope’s brother’s kids. Hope and Marisol 100% spoil them, and are happy to watch them for a weekend, but are always relieved when they go home and the house is quiet again.

As they age, they both get a lot more philanthropic than they were. I can see Marisol retiring and accepting a role on some kind of board or nonprofit. Hope will work for as long as she possibly can (and considering she works in corporate, that’s a lot longer than you’d expect). They both struggle with retirement, and how to provide structure to a day when they can’t work like they used to.

Hope really struggles with losing the mobility and strength that she’s used to having. Not being able to do things that she ‘should be able to’ brings her to the point of a breakdown multiple times. Marisol struggles to know what to do, outside of laying a sympathetic hand on Hope’s forearm and nodding sadly. They still travel a lot, but it’s more confined to tours and cruises than it used to. Admitting that her health/bodily abilities make an annual trip unfeasible is the hardest thing Hope ever does.

And despite how Hope’s health is the first to start wavering, Marisol has similar problems to her dad. Far too soon. Maybe a year after Hope admits they need to opt out of another trip abroad, Marisol starts to turn sharply downhill. Hope can pretend it’s fine, that Marisol hasn’t been blankly sitting on the couch for 9 hours or forgetting basic information or getting lost in the middle of stories. But then the wandering starts, and the fear and confusion at not recognizing where she is. Admitting Marisol needs more care than their condo can provide, that SHE can provide, absolutely shatters Hope. They both move into an assisted living home, because Hope can’t bear to leave Marisol alone.

The worst days are when Marisol outright doesn’t remember her. There wasn’t anyone in her life early on who looks like Hope, so there’s no one for Hope to ‘pretend to be’ like a sister or aunt. Marisol will just assume Hope’s a nurse on these days. Being brushed aside and dismissed is better than not seeing Marisol at all.

But the good days are so lovely. Gentle. Soft. Both of them feel whole.

Marisol passes before Hope does, and Hope doesn’t have it in her to move out of the home and be on her own again.

#litg

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lousimusician · 5 years ago

Text

Trying To Adjust (Part 2)

Pairing: Frat!Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom deals with the aftermath of your breakup

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: none

——————————————

Ever since the party, Tom had been having a rough time with what had happened.

And he was finding it harder to get along with his friends, now that he realized that most of them, other than Harrison, were assholes.

Tom really liked you, like really liked you.

The two of you had met during one of your projects. The school was holding a film festival and you were going to be directing your own film and since Tom was an acting major, he turned up at the audition.

You absolutely loved his performance and immediately said yes.

And naturally, since you and Tom would be working so closely, he flirted with you for a bit, and you flirted back, but once he asked you out, you turned him down.

It had been a huge hit to his ego, and from there he had been pretty determined to take you out. But after you had first turned him down, all of his following advancements were ignored.

After a month he had given up. And he was glad he did because once he started focusing more on the film and work, he had realized just how passionate you were about film.

And he admired it greatly.

He loved how determined you were about directing and writing, that after a certain day of shooting he looked up all of your past projects he found on your YouTube channel and watched them all. And not only that he ended up practically stalking you on every social media website you had.

And from there he was completely head over heels for you.

It was something he had never felt before. He had no desire to be in a serious relationship until you came along.

He stopped sleeping with girls because he honestly didn’t care about them anymore and he went back to trying to ask you out, but in a more easygoing way as to not come off strong anymore.

And at the end of the month, you agreed to go out with him.

If only Tom hadn’t been so clueless to the concept of dating, then you wouldn’t have broken up in the messy way you had.

And now with every passing day, Tom was missing you more and more.

The only problem was that he had no idea how to talk to you again after what happened.

Which is why complaining to Harrison all day and night was what he resorted to—

“Do you think she misses me?” Tom asked, staring up at the ceiling.

”Nope.” Harrison said, popping the ‘p’.

At this point Harrison had just started saying anything he wanted to since Tom was refusing to listen anyway. But as long as he could finish this damn paper by tonight, he didn’t really care too much about Tom’s woes.

”You know I blew her off 8 times? I even stood her up on two of those occasions.” He sighed.

”Uh-huh— you were an awful boyfriend,” he said typing away.

”God, what’s wrong with me,” he said, sitting up and looking to Harrison.

He looked up from his laptop, “What? Like you want a list or something?”

”C’mon Haz! I’m serious!”

Harrison rolled his eyes, “You were too consumed with what everyone thought of you. That, and you never had the attention span to focus on one girl for long periods of time anyway.” He said, going back to typing.

Tom fell back onto his bed, exasperated. “She probably hates me.”

And we were back to not taking Harrison’s actual criticisms.

”Not probably— she most definitely hates you.”

”I wonder how she’s doing.”

”Probably a lot better since the breakup.”

”What should I do?”

”Nothing, suck it up and fuck her roommate.”

”How could I have messed up so bad— my first ever relationship!”

”Because you self-sabotage and you’re destined to be alone forever.”

”Ugh, what am I gonna do?”

”Already told you, move on and fuck her roommate.”

”What?”

Harrison looked over his laptop and at Tom who was staring back at him, “What, finally decided to listen to me?”

”I’m serious!”

”Fine. You know what you should do? You should go find her, apologize and beg on your knees for her to take you back. Promise her you’ll be a better boyfriend and follow through on that promise. That is what you should do.”

”I can’t, it’ll never work,” he groaned.

Harrison sighed and shook his head, turning back to his paper.

————

“So Victoria told me she was interested in being apart of your next film,” Elizabeth told you, as she sat watching something on her laptop on top of her bed.

”Really? That’s awesome, she’s a business major right?” You asked, in the middle of some writing homework.

”Yeah, said she has a passion for acting, but her parents forced her to go the business route.

You hummed, “Well tell her I’m holding auditions next week.”

She nodded, “Of course.”

The two of you groaned upon hearing someone knock at the door, “Not it.” You quickly said, making Elizabeth have to go up and answer it.

”Whatever,” she grumbled, hopping off the bed and going to answer the door.

She swung it open to see Harrison standing in front of her, but you couldn’t see who it was, “Yes?” She asked.

”(Y/N) here?”

She promptly turned to you, “It’s for you,” she said before going back to her bed.

You sighed, throwing your laptop to the side and climbing off the bed, “Yea- oh hi Harrison,” you greeted upon seeing him, “How’d you get up here?”

He shook his head, “Got a friend to sign me in- look-“

”Is this about next week’s auditions?” You asked, cutting him off. Harrison was a usual in the audition room, and he had made it into a couple of your projects, “Because everything is posted in Webson Hall-“

”No, this is about Tom,” he rushed out, over you.

”Tom?” You pouted, “Then I’m not interested, see ya,” you were about to close the door when Harrison stopped it, “Whaaaat?” You groaned.

“The two of you need to talk, he’s been nothing but whining and complaining for the last week and I’m starting to lose patience with him.”

You rolled your eyes, “Why? I thought and I quote ‘I was overbearing and bitchy’.”

He scoffed, “He was obviously talking out of his ass. He’s crazy about you.”

”Not crazy enough apparently.”

”(Y/N) I’m serious. Just talk to him, you’ll see how much he misses you.”

”And if I don’t?” You quirked an eyebrow.

”Then I’ll,” he paused, “I’ll um-“

You laughed, “You’ve got nothing. See you at auditions,” you waved, before shutting the door on him.

Harrison sighed and leaned his head against your door.

And then suddenly and idea struck him.

”That’s it.”

With that, he was running down the hall back to his frat house.

~~~~~~~

You stretched in your seat. Audition day had finally showed up.

Honestly you were never a huge fan of watching a million auditions every time (your work had been getting more and more popular around campus, so auditions tended to be a pretty big turn out). A lot of the time they were mentally exhausting, you’d be surprised by the amount of actors that chose dramatic monologues over comedic.

But now you were already 15 auditions in with 5 more to go, and you were pretty sure you already had your cast now but you still needed to see the others.

“Alright, send them in!” Alyssa shouted, to Eric who had been letting in the actors.

Alyssa and Eric were always crew members on your projects and usually helped you decide cast members.

You had been scribbling something down when the next actor stood by the chair that was provided for each audition in front of you two.

”Go ahead,” Alyssa said, and you finally looked up.

Your eyes widened.

What the fuck?

“Tom, what the hell are you doing here?” You asked in annoyance, shaking your head.

He stared at you like a deer in the headlights, “Um... auditioning?”

”Did Harrison put you up to this?”

”...Maybe?”

You rolled your eyes again, “Whatever, you can leave.”

”No,” he stated more firmly, “I want to audition.”

You looked over at Alyssa who just shrugged her shoulders.

”Fine,” you said with a wave of your hand, “Go ahead.”

He cleared his voice, “My name is Tom Holland and I will be performing a monologue that I wrote. I will be reading for the character uh- Tim who is apologizing to his ex-girlfriend for something stupid he did.”

”Oh my god,” you hissed, sinking into your seat, already cringing.

He cleared his throat again, “Okay look, you know I’m bad with words so I’m just gonna come out and say it. I fucked up... but you already know that. For years I’ve been living in this bubble where I had my own views on dating and now I realize how warped they really are. I don’t know how to be a good boyfriend— and there’s a really good chance I’ll have trouble figuring it out, but.... what I do know, is that if you decide to take me back I will try my fucking hardest to be the best goddamn boyfriend you will ever have, even if that means I have to drop my asshole friends— who really were never that great so I don’t know why I ever chose them over you. But I like you so fucking much and that’s something that has never ever happened for me, so it kills me every single day knowing I screwed up a relationship with the only girl I ever really liked. You are one of the most talented and passionate people I have ever met, and I think you are absolutely gorgeous inside and out. So it would mean the world to me if you even as much as considered taking me back, and if you do, I promise I will do everything I can to make you happy. And if it means anything, I wasn’t lying when I said I never cheated on you and even after we broke up I couldn’t even think about another girl, also...... I don’t think you’re overbearing or bitchy.”

Silence filled the room before you spoke, “Y’know, with these auditions you’re usually expected to act.”

”Yeah I was wondering if you were gonna catch that,” he tried to joke, but kept bouncing on the balls of his feet, showing how nervous he was.

You ran a hand through your hair and sighed.

You figured if he was this willing to do something as silly as this, that maybe he really was willing to change.

You placed your clipboard aside and stood up. You walked over to him until you stood right in front of him.

”You gonna start answering my texts?”

His eyes immediately lit up, “Yes! Yes, of course.”

”You really gonna stop hanging out with those jerks? Except for Harrison, he’s the only one I like.”

”Yeah, he’s honestly the only one I like too.”

You nodded, “Then, can we go to that movie we planned a couple weeks ago?”

He grinned so big, you were sure it probably hurt, but you weren’t able to fight the smile off your face either.

Tom suddenly pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around you, “Of course darling, anything for you.”

You hugged him back tightly, “Good. Then stay here for the rest of the auditions.”

”Alright,” he agreed, pulling back. “By the way... did you really sleep with Aaron?”

You shook your head, “Nah, I paid him to hide in his room for a half hour to make everyone think I did.”

“Sneaky,” He laughed, shaking his head at you, “But thank god, because from here on out, you’re mine.”

——————————————

Permanent Taglist:

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applin-around · 5 years ago

Note

Can you write about how the Galar Gym Squad would go about with breaking the news in public that they're finally in a relationship? Considering the possibilities of mixed reactions such as support and hate- if it's okay. Thank you! :D

Anon this was so much fun! If you want me to go into how the public reacted, let me know and I’ll make a part two! Also, I did a friendship for Allister and a family relationship for Opal because the ideas I got for them were cute-

Milo

Milo’s gonna break the news to his family first. They’re who matters most to him, so he’s going to invite you over for dinner with his folks one night. You don’t have to bring anything for dress up, they’re really laid back. He just won’t expect for his entire family to be there, that kind of throws a wrench into his plans. But it still went well. A picture was posted by his older cousin, of the two of you. And of course, he was tagged. Which meant people saw it and everyone went wild.

Milo made his own post about the picture the next day. He shared the image, and added his own comment, “I meant to tell ya’ll myself, guess the Espurr’s out of the bag now. Yeah, I’m dating (Y/N).”

Nessa

It’s done with a photo on Fletching. One taken during a photoshoot, where you’d gone with her and the designer decided you’d be the perfect model to show the matching ensemble he’d made for the outfit she was showing off. So you two had a few really nice pictures, and Nessa asked for one that was more romantic for personal use. She used it as the announcement photo, talking about how fantastic you two look together and how good the outfits look. She purposefully didn’t say you two were together, she waited for a commenter to say that you two should date.

She reposted that comment, with her own comment. “We are.”

Kabu

Honestly, he’s not really going to think about it. His relationships are his business, why should he have to go and make a public announcement about it? So, really, people just sort of pick up on the fact that you two are together. At first, it’s more of theories, but as time goes on, it becomes impossible to deny that you and Kabu are together. Especially after that picture of you kissing him right before he went onto the pitch for the opening ceremony surfaced.

Bea

Bea hasn’t done a lot of really daring things in her time as a gym leader, but this is one she’s more than happy to do. Maybe it was more of the excitement that got to her. It was an Exhibition match, against Allister. They were having a great time, and she really did have to think outside of the box to grab that victory. But she did! She won! After showering in the locker room, you where there waiting for her outside the door. Paparazzi and interviewers were right behind you.

Which means they got a lot of pictures and video of the kiss she gave you. Their questions focused on the battle, but a few of them started to ask about your relationship. That’s the part she got flustered about, fumbling on her words and unable to really say it. Yeah, you two were together, but actually saying it was a whole different thing. She’s really grateful to you for saying it for her.

Allister

“This is… My friend, (Y/N).” He’ll say. You accompanied him as a friend to a charity dinner the Chairman hosted. Older people went with their romantic partners, but Allister? He asked you, his friend. You were a good friend, and he was sure you’d be okay with accompanying him.

There was a lot of gushing about him making a friend on social media the next day. For the most part, people were talking about how wonderful it was that he has a friend. Of course, you’ve got the weird people every now and again, but it’s mostly just talking about how good of a friend you were being.

Opal

She took you with her to a premiere of a new play, of course, you two wore matching pink coats. And there was a moment she was stopped so the interviewers could ask her about this play, where she sent you ahead to find your seats and get the playbooks. While you’re gone, they ask her what her relationship to you is. Probably because of the matching coats, if she had to guess. She had been pretty private about her personal life.

“Oh, (Y/N)? (Y/N) is my grandchild! The only one so far, but luckily they have plenty of pink. If you’ll excuse me, the show is starting soon. I don’t want to miss it!” They let her pass and you two enjoyed your show together. And you got a new hat out of it.

Bede

He’s not going to. You are. You’re the one to make the post, you’re the one to handle letting the public know. He’s a new gym leader, he doesn’t really pay attention or care about any fans he has right now. He’s still trying to get the hang of running the Fairy Gym and figure out what his gym mission is going to be for the next Challenge.

So, you make the post on Fletching. And tag him, so it’ll appear on his page and let people know. You’re handling all the questions for a while, until he gets tired of his phone pinging every few seconds and just goes live to confirm it. Yes, you two are dating, leave it alone two hours so he can finish what he’s doing.

Gordie

His Fanclub knows first. They’re all over everything he does, so they absolutely have the first clue that you’re together. Which means they’ve got the rumor out long before he makes an announcement, and all he has to do is confirm it. But he’s enjoying this, he’s going to let it last as long as he can. Which means you’re going to be the one to get tired of him waiting.

Which means you’re going to confirm it. By kissing him at an autograph signing. Which drives his fans wild and results in dozens- maybe hundreds- of photos taken and the entire event to be shifted to questions about the two of you.

Melony

Melony’s been through this before. Last time, she didn’t make the public announcement until the wedding- which was nice, keeping her relationship on the down-low. But this time, she figures she’ll let the public know about the two of you before then, as long as you’re okay with it. She makes a plan to have a pretty simple announcement post on the Fletching account the Chairman insisted every gym leader have.

The post itself? Her favorite picture her Rotophone caught of the two of you in the Wild Area, with you two playing with your pokemon. She added a caption that alluded to the two of you being together, and then just watched as people tried to figure it out. She stated outright that you two were together in a followup post the next day.

Piers

He has a show in Wyndon, paid for by the Chairman. This one’s a lot bigger than the ones in Spikemuth, and for good reason, it’s a holiday. And for some Arceus-forsaken reason, the Chairman wants him to perform. Well, you know, it’s the perfect time to debut that new song he wrote. The one he wrote about you and your relationship. He doesn’t tell anyone he’s doing it, it’s going to be in the middle of the set. The people playing the music know what to play, but they don’t know what the lyrics are, just that it’s gentler than the rest of the set.

And when he performs it, he makes sure to keep his eyes on you the whole time. He doesn’t realize it, but Marnie went up to take over the lights so she could get light directly on you too. So everyone knows this song is about you. And it’s really good too, but most people don’t pay 100% attention to it until the next day. Wherein it goes viral almost immediately. Good thing he’s taking a day off to relax after that show.

Marnie

Step one: Tell Piers. That’s the hardest part, but at least he already knows you. Marnie asked you to come over for dinner with her and Piers one night, though this was going to be a late, quick post-show dinner. Always was. She took you to pick up some takeaway and you followed her backstage and into her brother’s dressing room. He smiled when he saw you and sat with the two of you while Marnie passed out the food.

You and Piers talked about how well Marnie was doing as gym leader while you ate. Then, Marnie shushed Piers. “Hey, shut up a sec, I got somethin’ to tell ya.” She grabbed your hand, holding it where he could see. “Me an’ (Y/N) have been datin’. Couple weeks now, figured you should know.” And, well… Looks like he already knew. He just snorted and smiled, “Long as they make keep you happy.”

Now, for everyone else? They’ll find out through Piers making a song about you two. He can’t help himself, you two are cute and he got inspired. Team Yell won’t help either, they’ll be going absolutely bonkers about you two. Which means the public knows without her even making an announcement.

At least they’re more annoyed at Team Yell.

Raihan

Third date. He took a selfie with you on your third date, and pretty much from then on, people knew about your relationship. And really, did you expect any different? You’re lucky he waited until the third date! Your entire relationship was posted about. Maybe not in the moment, but he was absolutely gushing about you pretty often. Which meant it was hard for people to not know.

He’ll relax with it if you want him to. Otherwise, full steam ahead!

Leon

He’ll wait until after you two have really started being in a steady relationship, maybe even until you two move in together. He doesn’t want to announce it too early, because he knows how his fans can be. If they think you’re just with him for the clout, they’ll attack you. If you two break up, they’ll attack you. Really, his fans should be better than this!

That said, he will wait until he’s sure you two are staying together for a good long time. He’ll make the post with a picture of you playing with Hop and his Wooloo, commenting on how the two people who mean most to him are getting along so well. And he’ll stay online the rest of the day, answering questions his fans have and making sure they understand that you two are not just together for the status. If you’re cool with it, he’ll even post a picture later of him giving you a kiss.

#leon #raihan #piers #milo #nessa #kabu #bea #allister #opal #bede #marnie #gordie #melony #galar gym squad #swsh #pokemon imagines

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justahockeylover · 5 years ago

Text

all my friends - j.hughes

author’s note // yay!! my first imagine, and many more yet to come! I honestly hope y’all enjoy this one, it’s loosely based off of this song. also, big thanks to @annalahey, for proofreading this part along with part of the second one! she was truly a blessing in this process, and I can’t thank her enough :)

word count: 1,631

All my friends are falling in love

All my friends are locking it up

But I can't seem to settle down

'Cause I'm waiting on you to come around

While all my friends are falling in love

You don’t know when it started, but you had started to feel like a part of you was missing. Maybe it was because your best friend, who you were so hopelessly in love with, was miles away from you in New Jersey. How he hasn’t realized it yet, you don’t know, but you also don’t mind. You’d rather die than tell him how you felt.

Hey just got done with training for today, wyd?

A smile appeared on your face as you read Jack’s message and typed a quick reply.

Not much, thinking about going skating later.

It’s true, you were thinking about going later, but with who? All of your friends have boyfriends, and they would gladly have a girls’ night with you, but you don’t want to feel like a burden.

Oh yeah? Without me?

You laughed, thinking about how his face his eyebrows are probably raised, his mouth upturned in a smirk.

Yeah, with my new best friend.

Catching your drift, he decided to play along.

You replaced me already? I’ve only been gone for a few weeks.

You let out a big sigh, debating on whether to send your next text or not.

Yeah, well, it’s a few weeks too long for my taste.

Deciding to send it, you leave your phone on your bed and get up to change your clothes. I mean, you were going ice skating after all. You heard your phone buzz a couple of times, but you waited until you were dressed to check them. Jack can wait a few seconds.

Same here, I miss you too. Wanna facetime?

You replied with a quick yes, and within seconds he was calling you. Answering it, you saw his smiling face appear on your screen.

“Hey rowdy, how’s Jersey been treating you?”

He laughs, rolling his eyes, ”Good, Y/N/N, I just miss everyone. I know I shouldn’t complain though. I mean, I just signed a contract to play in the NHL.”

You looked at him with sad eyes, and thought about how to respond.

“Jack, you might’ve just signed with the Devs, but that doesn’t mean you’re not human. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean you can’t complain, you still have a lot of time left in your career, and Jersey is just the starting point of it all. Sure you went first overall, but that doesn’t make you any less deserving of emotions,” You smiled at him through your screen, wishing you could give him a hug.

“I know, you’re the best at these talks, I wish you were here with me.”

Your heart swells at his words, it always does when he says something like that.

“I wish I was there with you too, and I’m sure Chelsea does as well. The rest of your support team wants to be right by your side through this,” you send him a tight-lipped smile.

He raises an eyebrow at this, and you hear another voice over the phone, easily recognizing it as his mom, who was close enough to you that she was practically your mom as well.

“Jack, is that Y/N? Let me say hi!”

Jack mouths a ‘sorry’ before handing the phone over to his mom, who smiles upon seeing you.

“Hey sweetie! How are you?”

“I’m good Ellen, just working on getting my summer readings done and whatnot. Just getting ready for school to start in August you know,” you replied with a tight smile, a sign that you were stressed. Knowing Ellen, she can easily tell when you were overworking yourself.

“I know what that’s like, hun. But I also know that you deserve to take breaks every once in a while. Please tell me you’ve eaten today.”

She looks at you with the regular mom glare and, even though she’s nowhere near you, you feel the effects of it anyway.

“Well, I kinda ate breakfast this morning,” You wearily smiled at her, ready for her to yell at you.

“Y/N Y/L/N! You need to eat so you don’t pass out!”

She was clearly worried, and you could hear Jack in the background, sounding just as (if not more) concerned.

“I know, but I just haven’t been getting out of the house much lately. With you guys being in Jersey, Quinn training for the upcoming season, and all of my friends hanging out with their boyfriends, I haven’t really had a reason to leave.”

It was true, you really hadn’t left the house much this summer. All of your friends were doing stuff with their boyfriends, you didn’t really have many people to hang out with. And while you would hang out with the other boys’ girlfriends, some weren’t the most fond of you.

“Darling, you need to eat. If I hear from Jack you’re still not eating in a couple of days, I will definitely be going to your mom,” She gave you a smile before saying goodbye and handing the phone back to Jack.

You both stared at each other for a few seconds, not really knowing what to say.

“Y/N, you need to eat. I’m going to text Quinn to tell him to bring you something.”

And before you could argue, he was already texting his brother, who then texted you asking what you want. You replied that anything was fine, as long as it wasn’t anything fried, since you felt like that was all you were living on for the past few weeks since your parents were visiting some extended family.

“So, did you ever figure out who you’re going to go skating with? Quinn would probably be down to go with you,” he tilted his head, looking like a puppy, while giving you the chance to take cutest picture ever.

“Y/N did you just take a picture of me?”

You started laughing, which gave away your ploy to stay silent.

“Yes, maybe,” he glared at you, “you just looked so cute! And I’m not passing up the opportunity of another picture to post for your next birthday.”

Jack blushed and let out a frustrated groan as you looked towards your front door, hearing a knock.

“Come in!”

Quinn walked in, with two Panera Bread bags in his hand. You walked towards him, taking the bags and setting them on the counter, giving him a hug.

“I’m on facetime with Jack, if you want to say hi,” you hand him your phone while you take both of your food onto your counter, taking a seat at a barstool, and patting the one next to you so Quinn would sit down. He sat next to you, propping you phone up against something so you both could talk to Jack.

“How’s Jersey been, Jack?”

You and Quinn both began eating, letting Jack do all the talking for a second.

“I don’t know, Q. I was talking to Y/N earlier and I just miss you guys. And I’m getting so much attention on social media right now that it’s kind of overwhelming. I wish you or Y/N could be here with me right now to help. I have mom and dad here, and they’re trying their hardest to understand, but I wish I had you guys by my side”

He let out a big sigh, shoulders slumped, and you could just see how tired he was. You decided to steer away from the topic, knowing you would definitely be talking about it with him later.

“So, have you gotten the chance to talk to Chelsea while you’ve been there?”

You were genuinely curious, seeing as you and her don’t talk very often if it’s not about Jack.

“Um, not too much. I think we’ve both been so busy that whenever I can talk she can’t.”

“Aw, love, I’m sorry. I know that she misses you just as much as you do her. This is just a small obstacle in your relationship, I promise.”

You always called him love, and you have for years. It was just a cute pet name, and you called a lot of people ‘love’ or ‘babe’ out of habit. Which is why Jack should be used to it by now, but you swear you saw a little bit of a blush form on his cheeks.

“But what if I don’t really miss her?”

You and Quinn stopped right where you were, surprised. He almost spat out his drink, quickly stopping himself from getting water everywhere. Jack had seemed to really like Chelsea, and while you weren’t too fond of her, it seemed like their relationship was going pretty well.

“Jack, what do you mean? You and Chelsea have been together for a while, I thought you would want her right by your side,” you raised an eyebrow, watching out of your peripheral as Quinn excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Your best friend put his head in his hands, sighing again, “I know, and I should, but the only girl I want right next to me is you.”

“Jack, I-”

You didn’t know what to say. God, you had been in love with him for so long, and he’s just telling you this now? Guys really know when to choose their moments, huh?

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t feel the same way. I know that it’s pretty out of the blue, but whenever I try to think about Chelsea, all I end up thinking about is you.”

You looked at him, shocked.

“Hey, I have to go. Me and a couple of the guys are going out for dinner tonight. Think about it, okay? I’ll call you later, to see how skating goes.”

You could barely get a word out before he hung up, leaving you with your own thoughts.

and there it is! I hope you liked it, I have a second part coming out sometime soon, it’s already at 500 words, so it should be up by tomorrow! at least, I hope. ahhh, I’m so excited to be writing again, who should be next? :)

#j.hughes #nhl imagine #new jersey devils #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes

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energymanagementsystem-blog · 4 years ago

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Included by The Edge: Never Waste a Crisis

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Find the media thought by The Edge underneath:

One of the activities the business plan has expected to learn and understand during the Covid-19 pandemic is that affiliations ought to be agile. For most, powerful change was filtered through as pioneers pushed their workforce to turn rapidly and usefully contemplating the rapidly making scene. A dash of the records of progress and quality are inspiring affirming picked decisions that have had a significant impact for the affiliations. Here, 12 mindful Ernst and Young Entrepreneur Of The Year graduated class people share the activities they have aced during the Movement Control Order (MCO) and the persuading propels they have taken, in the craving for supporting distinctive relationship in their drive towards recovery and productivity. Click here energy management system

In like way SOLAR SYSTEMS SDN BHD

Ko Chuan Zhen, prime supporter + CEO

Poh Tyng Huei, prime supporter + head working position

Ryan Oh Zhi Kang, prime supporter + director improvement official

A strong foundation alone will shield a business from spilling, and that is really what we need this year. Never waste a crisis. We outfit the pandemic as a push factor to develop our properties and catch extra chances. We realigned our inspiration and provoked our Artificial Intelligence of Things (AIoT) answers for animate the digitalisation of essentialness in Malaysia. That inferred adjusting to swarm direct and the changing scene rapidly. With digitalisation as a push, we uncovered our AIoT blueprints and used our changed customer keep up. These credits enabled us to deal with the overall development in enquiries and collect better relationship with our client base. As affiliations work to diminish their overall operational costs, centrality has rose as among the essential utilizations. We are managing our AIoT answers for address this, to enable 20%-30% of significance experience assets for clients and update their overall imperativeness usage for tremendous standard concern save stores.

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Sharala Axryd, coordinator + CEO

Coordinating pay was among our hardest troubles. In proceeding with the business during tricky stretches, we discovered such an astounding total about people's ability to work from home and the favorable position it yielded. We also enabled the modernized differentiation in our things and got the ground towards changing into an outlines connection. Affiliations would not have the decision to help this with waving if they don't digitize their business and handle data appraisal. This advantages to financials. Use predictable evaluation to see where the pay will begin from, how you can stay material, and how you can refresh or improve your business and pay. We are eventually social event the dashboard with the fitting cash related numbers — coming up and approaches to improve errands, encounters and others in one focus source. Starting there, you can decide your cash exhaust, pay projection and operational costs. Appraisal is applied to that yet it must be connected with all business works out. As opposed to relying on data being figured out how to you, you could get the chance to cash related information from your own superb work zone. This is the procedures by which I use evaluation for a post-Covid-19 economy. With data immediately open, we can be vigilant instead of responsive.

Clinical INNOVATION VENTURES SDN BHD (MEDIVEN)

Dr Lim Li Sze, prime supporter + undertakings boss.

We opposed the primer of running a get-together office while clinging to standard working structures to ensure the flourishing of our family. We likewise expected to ensure the ideal get-together of customer orders. Luckily, our extraordinarily solid staff people have been doing all that they can to address these issues. Shocking assistance with the deftly wrestle furthermore helps with ensuring everything runs with no issue. In a difficult situation, it is your allies, family and people you fathom who will go to your guide. When pushed, humanity can make creative responses for oversee issues. We have seen an ordinary triple helix association, where the academic framework, private firms and the lawmaking body have gotten together to make innovative developments for keen fundamental reasoning. Structure. It a piece of the time takes the outright movement from structures getting together to deal with an issue. It is ideal to not overpromise yet to concentrate on flawless figures. Being inventively forefront is basic. As Mediven was inventively current, it allowed us to consider a Covid-19 test pack at short warning. To have the choice to manage a crisis, it is fundamental to set up the relationship for change and to be questionable to the upsides and drawbacks of making a good choice.

LOOB HOLDING SDN BHD (TEALIVE ASIA)

Bryan Loo, CEO

We used to dispatch 200 outlets dependably as the association structure was vivaciously dependent upon exponential store improvement. With the pandemic, regardless, progress was done — locally comparably as for the most part. We grew quickly. We took our standard squares and-mortar model and meandered into electronic business, starting with our notable DIY bubble tea pack. We moreover began noteworthy joint endeavors with keen moving customer things brands, for instance, Wall's and made the Special Edition Tealive Boba Ice Cream with them. We will after a short time dispatch a particular air pocket bistro on GrabMart and Pandamart.

It is furthermore essential to audit that relationship for people are driven by people. Persistently offer criticalness and vitality in the social event as it attracts consistent commitment while investigating the dull with you and will over the long haul lead your business to accomplishments. During seasons of crisis, business pioneers step up to guarantee their family, customers and amigos — and occasionally that infers making irregular decisions. Regardless, that is our motivation for the length of customary everyday presence — to push through the preventions and drive our vision unequivocally.

MYNEWS HOLDINGS BHD

Darn Tai Luk, coordinator + CEO

We took in the centrality of building a versatile business that is a great deal of furnished with inside system s and cutoff focuses as this considers business advancement with less outside help with a crisis. With the business world going genuinely blend, the blueprints of our online business piece have extended a few spread. Squares and-mortar affiliations must leave on online business to secure another flood of plans to improve their physical closeness. Likewise, improvement orchestrating is central for business congruity, especially when the risk of disease is high. At the height of the pandemic, we set the inspiration driving business reasonableness contemplating laborers while serving frontliners in the structure. A cost decline practice helped us to discard wide overheads. We are using this opportunity to address wavers and deficiencies that have been improved by the crisis. Your collusion will move out of it more capable and even more thin, lastly extension in bargains on account of the more wide utilization of progress. I don't know whether the world will whenever return to commensurate included boulevards and strip malls of pre-Covid-19 days. Customer direct has moved. Human traffic will reduce as people bind their new turns of events and work from home. In like manner, it is constantly basic to keep your pay strong to help similarly as may be sensible.

FUSIONEX GROUP

Datuk Seri Ivan Teh, originator + bunch CEO

I call it "Capable" — flexibility, quietness and sympathy. These have been the best key arrangements from Covid-19 and the MCO. Adaptability has been the most ideal approach to manage dealing with this pandemic and the outstanding unexpected movement that has climbed out of it. Being a tech association, we have had the upside of deftness in pushing toward business and working up our obligations. We by then set up the centrality of keeping the legitimate social event reasonable. In the all out of this, compassion has been a value we have understood to identify with others who are encountering [the same] issues. My hardest test was restricting the impact of the pandemic on the connection and keeping the staff convinced. Our affiliation picked honestly off the bat that we would keep up staff resolve through considering remuneration rates, allowing difficult to reach work, making open correspondence between social gatherings, encouraging them that they are absolutely bit of "pack Fusionex" and ensuring their families were secured and sound. See and experience the blessing from paradise to support synergistic affiliations and plots over the business go since everyone is endeavoring to keep their business above water. Accomplice before long with movement helpers to follow endeavors in regions, for instance, AI, monstrous data evaluation, blockchain, Internet of Things, online business, and so forth. Bear the present and perceive the open strategy to retrain, reskill and reexamine to set yourself up.Visit here https://edge.plus-solar.com.my/

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lifeofanetworkmarketer · 5 years ago

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So first of all, let’s get it all out here. What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear network marketing or direct sales? Be honest.

A Pyramid Scheme?

Annoying Facebook posts?

Spammy Instagram messages?

Because I thought all of those things. And honestly, I still think a lot of those things. Many of the women I know in network marketing are hard-working, passionate entrepreneurs who have just never been trained in marketing. So when their company tells them to post certain images everyday, they want to be successful, so they listen to their company. But that’s just not how online business works anymore.

Why should bloggers even consider network marketing?

So now you’re thinking, well Phil if you’re so against network marketing, why did you go for it? Fortunately I found a tribe of heart-centered, service-based entrepreneurs doing it right. I also realized how much I could leverage this income stream…

Higher commissions

How much of a commission do you make off of your ads or sponsored posts. Do you make 35-50% of the sale? No way, but you would with network marketing. Once you find the right company for you and your blog, you’ve already done the work of connecting with the right audience. Now you can offer them an amazing product and maybe even business opportunity!

More control

When it comes to making money with your blog, there are a lot of pieces that are outside your control. Ad budgets change, Facebook algorithms change, just about everything changes. But when you’re promoting your OWN company, it’s a lot easier to make a plan. You can plan exactly how you want to share it and what value you can add to it. Maybe you could run a free challenge or host a free workshop to launch it. It’s all up to you and your creativity.

Find your tribe

OK work-at-home people, tell me this. How often do you let a week go by where your only contact with the outside world is through Facebook? And how do you feel by the end of that week? I feel stressed, run down, maybe even a tad resentful.

We need community, and the right network marketing company can give you that. Team meetings and conferences give you a chance to connect with fellow mamapreneurs who are on your same path and want to support you. There is truly no substitute for the camaraderie that comes with this opportunity. By far my favorite part!

This sounds great, but how does it actually work?

I know what you’re thinking. If network marketing is this easy and fun, AND you can run your company online from your blog, what’s the catch? There’s no catch. You just need to follow the right steps.

Find the right company

First it’s all about the company. I couldn’t be successful with just any products. I chose to partner with a nutrition and skincare company, because I’m passionate about health and self-care. When I told my friends about it, (I was so scared they’d judge me) everyone told me, “that’s so you!” Find a company that is just YOU.

Become a product of the product

After you find the right company and team, it’s time to use the products. In order to recommend products to your friends and readers, you have to truly love them. Otherwise you will feel awkward and inauthentic. Try it all out and see what you love. Then go all in and become a product of the product. Have your own stories to tell about how much it has improved your life.

Incorporate it into your life

This goes along the same lines as becoming a product of the product. When I first joined my wellness company, I was very focused on how much to share it. How often should I post about the products? Should I post about it at all? That’s when one of my friends who is at the manager level - the level below getting her free BMW ;) - gave me some great advice.

“Don’t worry about how to incorporate the products into your social media,” she told me. “Incorporate them into your life, then share your life.” Lightbulb moment.

I began just enjoying the products in my life, seeing how much better I felt, and then naturally wanting to incorporate that into my brand.

Share your life

Now this may be the hardest part of the equation. I’m all about loving the products and learning more about them, but when it comes to sharing my life, I still hesitate. A lot of fears come up when it’s time to share. Here are just a few that have stopped me in the past…

“Everyone is going to think I’m obsessed with myself.”

“I’m not thin enough to sell wellness products.”

“Everyone is going to think I’m not making a good income if I start this.”

Ouch, it’s seriously hard to admit and type those, but it’s true. I’ve said all of those things to myself over and over. But here’s what I’ve found. Every time I share a particularly truthy post, more and more people reach out to me. Not because I found some perfect marketing formula, but because I was real and raw and they felt that. Being vulnerable allows me to help more people, case closed.

Ugh, but really? Network marketing?

Look I get it, I really do. I have thought about writing this post for months, but always held back for fear of turning people off. But here it is. Partnering with this company has changed my life, and it just got to the point where not sharing that because I was scared was just selfish.

Next steps

So you’re ready to start looking into this? There is a company in just about every niche, so do your homework. Find one that speaks to you and try it out. Talk to the consultants. Try a sample. Take a step forward.

If you’re interested in hearing about joining my team, I’d love to grab a virtual coffee and chat about how it could complement your biz!

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joon-bugs · 6 years ago

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Saturday Nights

~Hi long time no see (this is Jo by the way) so I’m HELLA busy with school and such and this story might have been done for like two months and never thought to post it BUT I hope all my fellow wild kards like this BM story (ALSO all my stray kids lovers I got a Hyunjin story in the process but don’t wait up bc I might fuck around and not post it till June lol)~

Word count: 5000+

Pairing: BM (KARD)

Genre: uhhhh romanceangstsmut? Best friends turned lovers

Warnings: swearing, nipple play, oral f receiving, sex

“He was the only boy who could break you out of your shell, the only one you’d allow to play matchmaker out of all of your friends because he knew you better than anyone. Now your friendship had to thrive off of video calls, text messages, and social media. It had been quite a long time since he came home. But the boy you missed with every inch of your body was back from the place where he went to follow his dreams. He couldn't let his potential go to waste..and you wouldn't let him.”

~Hi there, I’m back so there’s a soundtrack to this story if you want to listen to the song while reading I’m going to insert them as you read (bolded and italicized)~

Saturday Nights- Khalid

The golden sunset was comfortably nestled into the trees lying before you. Another cloud of sour smoke billowed in and out of your lungs, as you passed the blunt to your best friend. He was finally back home. When you were little he’d always force you into two-person dance competitions and freestyle battles, although you were nowhere near a rapper, and dragged you to musical auditions and even the school dance.

He was the only boy who could break you out of your shell, the only one you’d allow to play matchmaker out of all of your friends because he knew you better than anyone. Now your friendship had to thrive off of video calls, text messages, and social media. It had been quite a long time since he came home. But the boy you missed with every inch of your body was back from the place where he went to follow his dreams. He couldn't let his potential go to waste..and you wouldn't let him. It was 2010 when he told you he finally decided to move. You thought he meant downtown LA, not South Korea. Trying to stop him wasn’t an option. When his mind was set it was set. The only regret you had was not following him when he gave you the option. He had plans of conquering the streets of Seoul with his best friend, that best friend being you. He suggested you could transfer to Kyung Hee University while he became a trainee. He even presented you with informational pamphlets and offered to pay half of your plane ticket. His persevering attitude ate away at you for weeks, you couldn’t blame him you’ve gone everywhere together since you were in diapers. Telling him no was the hardest thing you had done. You knew how bad he wanted this for you two, he was so determined to bring you along. But alas the king kard was back in the driver's seat of your old Jeep and at your favorite place. The lack of doors and the cloth top let the warm summer breeze take the smoke away. “What are thinking about Y/N,” Matthew asked you, his voice deep and smooth like a cup of French roast. “Just about how much of a hard working badass you are.” You said, exhaling smoke and passing the blunt. “This could be us but you’re playing.” He sang in response, using your hand as a microphone before grabbing the blunt. “Matthew you know why I didn't go with you.” The now red sun graced your face and you took your phone out to try to capture the moment. “Because this was something I had to do for myself and you needed to find your way here.” He mocked you using his fingers as quotation marks, the blunt still dangling in his right hand. “Don’t mock me, Kim, I happen to be extremely happy managing LACMA.” “Y/N you shouldn’t be managing it your art should be in it, but whatever makes you happy makes me happy kid.” The fond smile that split his cheeks made you follow behind him. His smiles could instantly make you happy, you loved that about him. It reminded you of the smile he had when he told you he was finally going to ask out the girl from his dance studio and how you went back to your aunt’s house later that day and cried for hours because you finally worked up the courage to tell him how you felt and now he’s fawning over some other girl. Luckily you weren’t still in love with him... well you didn’t think you were. Honesty- Pink Sweat$

“Matthew, what's your biggest fear?” “Not trying hard enough and you know… the dark. What about you?” “Loving someone and they don't reciprocate it.” You attempted to answer him nonchalantly while lighting another blunt. The taste of weed and blueberry from the cigarillo wrapper danced in your lungs before you exhaled. “There are so many people that love you. I mean what’s there not to love? Relationship wise just be patient.” Damn, you could say the same thing about him especially the ‘what’s there not to love part’ what did he mean by that? The familiar flutter in your stomach that you learned to ignore resurfaced. Everything you noticed about the way he’d grown just added more things to your list. The more you added the deeper you fell. “You’re not scared of falling too deep and the person you love doesn’t… it’s just I don’t even know it's scary.”

It’s quiet, you could tell what you had just said changed the atmosphere. With the two of you staring at the freshly changed night sky above you. The last time you were alone here together, Matthew was telling you goodbye as you cried into his chest. If he had known that you were crying because you were afraid to lose him, that you regret not saying something instead of crying just because you'll miss him things would probably be much different now. This shift didn’t necessarily feel bad your feelings definitely resurfaced. Maybe you’d tell him tonight. Matthew’s hand lazily landed on your knee as he studied the sky as if the answer was written in the stars.

“Thinking about it too much is all wrong, love happens on its own time.” You couldn’t tell if it was hopeful thinking or if you were making a mistake bringing this up. Maybe your high was making you blind right now, or there really was no doubt in your mind that you were going to tell him tonight. You reached for his hand, gripping it tight in your small one, hoping he wouldn’t pull away. You took your eyes off the sky and looked down to where you two are connected. Out the corner of your eye, you saw a smile dancing at his lips. Now’s the time, this is the time to finally tell him. One step towards Matthew, or maybe one away from your best friend. “Do you remember Alessandra from the dance studio?” You asked him, shattering the silence. “Yeah that girl was crazy I was so far gone for that girl I didn't even notice.” “I remember when you told me you were going to ask her out. You were so excited.” You threw the roach out of the jeep into the red gravel beneath the car. “You should’ve stopped my blind ass.” Little did he know. “You right… I should have.” Your eyes were now focused on scenery. You and Matthew ’s place was a cliff overlooking the city.

“Believe me I wanted to.” You mumbled the last part under your breath hoping he wouldn’t hear you. You tried to play it off by grabbing his Crooks and Castles hoodie from the back seat, putting it on and placing your hand back where it was. “What do you mean Y/N? You keeping secrets?” He asked you, never letting anything go unnoticed. He flipped his hand and interlocked your fingers with his. “After you told me about her I drove back to my aunt’s house and cried for hours because she finally convinced me to tell you I liked you. Shit, I still do... honestly I never stopped. I’m sorry if me saying this makes you feel weird, I’m sorry if I’m fucking us up but I just can’t keep ignoring the fact that I want more.” You could feel him looking at but you couldn’t quite read his expression without looking at him which was the very thing you didn't want to do. Your already red eyes began to water afraid of what he might say or how he might react. You had a little hope because his hand was still tangled with yours.

Get You- Danial Caesar ft. Kali Uchis “Really?” You closed your eyes to keep yourself from seeing his reaction, your first tear falling down your cheek. “I mean, yeah, I’ve dated a few guys but they never made me feel the way you do. And that’s coming from you just treating me as your best friend and I tried to ignore it so I wouldn’t mess us up but I just can’t anymore.” You threw your head back in distress, you now had a steady flow of tears. “Hey hey hey look at me. You’re fine it’s just me.” He said, and trying to calm you he pulled your hand up to his mouth and pushed gentle kisses into the back of it. “I know I’m just scared. I’ve been scared.” “Is that why you brought the fear thing up because you were afraid I wouldn’t love you back?” “Do you know how terrifying it is to be in love with your best friend? Fear has consumed me ever since you left. I didn’t want to lose you. I was afraid that you’d go over there fall in love with an idol and I’d have to show up to your wedding like I was fine. But I settled for friendship because I knew it was better to have that than nothing at all. But now I’m here looking like an idiot and confessing my love like a fucking Nicholas Sparks movie.” You wiped your face with the sleeve of his hoodie. “C’mere.” He replied, hopping out of the jeep and walking to the front, before sitting on the bumper. You followed him, standing sheepishly in front of him, his tall figure making you feel small. He pulled you in between his legs by the pockets of your hoodie and enveloped you in a hug. “Don’t ever worry about losing me.” He put his index finger under your chin so that you had to look up at him. “I’ve been about you and I always will be.” The sincerity in his voice comforted you. You finally looked in his eyes you could tell he was serious and it wasn’t his intoxication talking. His eyes flickered between your glossy eyes and your lips, his own hovering above yours. You felt the hesitation between the two of you, unable to read his next move. Your mind shifted to the butterflies you felt moving around unforgivably fast. You looked away unable to bear the intensity of this moment before he pulled you back into him by the hoodie strings. He bent down so his lips met yours. He kissed you slowly and passionately. The new feeling turned the butterflies into comforting electric shocks. He let go of the hoodie strings and pushed you by the small of your back bringing you further into his embrace, deepening the kiss. His phone vibrated against your leg interrupting your kiss.

“Ignore it” he moaned into your mouth. “No Matt answer it, it might be important.” You protested, pulling away from him. He yanked his phone out the pocket of his shorts. “Hey, Kenny what’s up?” “Big Matthewwwwwwwwwwww what’s up boy, what you doing?” “I’m with my girl what’s up?” His girl sounded better when you were the definition. “Kosta and I are throwing a party tonight stop by, we all miss yo cute ass.” “Bet we might swing by.” “Oh hey bring Y/N fine ass too.” Three beeps signaled that Kenny hung up.

“What does he mean,’ bring Y/N fine ass too’? What’s he want to see you for, you’re my fine ass now.” “C’mon let's make our first appearance as King and Queen KARD.” You demonstrate as if your hands were a billboard.

~2 hours later~ Sativa- Jhene Aiko ft. Swae Lee The night sky turned from indigo to black falling deeper into the night as you and Matthew walked from your house to Kosta’s. You could hear the music as you walked closer, the bass from the speakers mimicking the feeling of your heart. What would your friends say? How would they react? How would Kenny react considering the fact that he had a crush on you and every other girl he had made eye contact with? You walked past the wooden gate and into the backyard, a path you had taken throughout high school and college. The smell of weed, vape, and alcohol mixed together to the perfect harmony of the music. “Matthew, my boy you’re back!” Kenny and Kosta brought him into a handshake hug welcoming him back to his old stomping ground.

“Y/N sweetheart long time no see.” Kenny flirted. You offered back a sheepish wave.

“So Matthew where’s your girl? You bring her?” Kosta asked him, playfully nudging Matthew’s shoulder. You could smell Angry Orchard and Smirnoff sours on his breath. Now’s your time.

“That’d be me.” You stepped up and held Matthew’s hand in the air as if he just won a boxing match. “Y/N, baby, What about us?” Kenny whined. Kosta walked away shaking his head at Kenny. “Kenny, honey, there was never an us I've been about this one.” You answered, grabbing Matthew’s arm and holding it as if it was a trophy. “HOW BOUT SOME SHOTS FOR OUR NEW COUPLE!?” A very proud Kosta yelled, appearing with a bottle of Hennessy.

“Man just give me the bottle.” Matthew swooped it up and led you to a less crowded part of the party.

“Thanks for the bottle Kos!” You shouted to your friend over the music as you walked away.

“Three each?” Matthew asked before pouring a shots worth in his mouth. “Three each??? Three can get me drunk, three gets you, buzzed big guy.” You argued before taking down your first one. You kissed your teeth trying to suppress the burning sensation. No chaser, great. You were gonna be drunk as hell.

“Fine, I guess I’ll do five.” With every shot the more the alcohol consumed the both of you. Alcohol had always made you ten times more exaggerated than your normal personality but henny wasn't just alcohol. You stood up and led him to the patch of grass that had been determined as the ‘dance floor’. You began swaying your body to the music, living in the moment. Matthew grabbed your hips and began grinding against you painfully slow. It could’ve just been dancing but the Hennessy in your system made you more sensitive to his touch creating a dense cloud of sexual tension between you. You were relaxed in his hold, knowing that whatever happened you’d be safe with him. This behavior wasn’t anything new he had always danced with you at parties but tonight there was a possibility over a new outcome. Slowly and definitively you danced into him grabbing his neck to support you. In response, he ran his hands up and down your waist, your movements combining together blooming anticipation. Sensuously and almost animalistic you moved against him, matching the movement of his hips. For someone so tall he still fit your body perfectly, as if you were made for each other. You could feel the excitement between you causing the tension to thicken. He rhythmically added pressure to your ass from behind concentrating on you. He lowered himself so he could attack your neck with needy kisses leaving the potent smell of Hennessey. You spun around to meet his lips with yours but before you got the chance he stopped you. He was so close you could see the shadow he cast on your chest. You could hear his heavy breaths in your ear you could feel his heart beating against your shoulder. You danced like this for the next few songs, feeling as if it was just you and him. His hands slide down to rest on the back pockets of your short, his fingers playings with the loose fragments of denim from the distressed rips. He pulled you closer, your body fully flushed against him and you could feel the beginnings of an erection as he pressed against you. The music came to a dramatic stop and a drunken Kenny came over the speaker. “It was great seeing all of your beautiful faces but the cops are out front ya’ll gotta leave.”

Bodies shuffled back through the path and everyone was greeted with flashes of red and blue lights. The now cool wind hit you as you left the backyard.

“I don’t care where you go just get out of here.” A policeman yelled, pointing his flashlight in everyone's faces. You grabbed Matthew’s hand and pulled him towards the sidewalk to escape from the bright lights. Once you were finally away from the crowd of people you two were alone again. He held you tight like a prize he had won at the fair, forbidding you to walk normally. “Who knew today would end like this.” He whispered, his chin relaxed on your head. “I don’t know who you bought weed from but blame them.” You’d been high plenty of times before but it never made you reveal any secrets. “I don’t want this night to end.” He released you from his hold and spun you around so your chest met his. “The one place to go from here is up.” You told him, murmuring against his lips. “You’re gonna have to blame the henny for this.” Your teeth clashed into his, your breaths hot as they washed over your faces. Matthew tugged you into the bushes by your hands, pressing you deep into the foliage. He lay small pecks on your jawline, nipping every so often in between. His hands roamed up your bare legs and you shivered at the feeling. You had just begun to wrap your arms around his neck when a sharp twig stabbed you in the eye. ‘Ow!” You yelled, holding the injury. “What’s wrong? You good?” Matthew asked immediately, cradling your face to inspect the damage. His hands were large and warm and safe. You leaned into his touch, smiling. “Just a dumbass branch. I'm ok.” You looked up at him in reassurance. You put your fingers to his lips and gave a sly wink. “Now kiss me.” You tried to pull him closer but he pulled away with a grimace. “I’m not doing this in a bush Y/N. C’mon.” He yanked you free, keeping you near his side. After a few minutes, you couldn’t hold in your question. “Matthew, where the hell are we going? The buzz was wearing off and you were left feeling irritated and very very horny. He gave your hand a squeeze. “Back to your place. Don’t tell me you’re that trashed where you don’t remember where you live?” He chuckled and you blushed before flipping him off. “Screw you I’m not even drunk.”

L$D- ASAP Rocky “Oh, I plan too.” He tossed a wink your way, effectively silencing you. The walk was thankfully short, as it was apparent the two of you couldn't wait any longer. You were currently trying to unlock your door as Matthew kissed the back of your neck. You scrambled to open the door and almost cried in relief when it did. Matthew took this as a signal to pick you up by the back of your knees. You wrapped your legs around his waist and attached your lips to his, moaning as he sucked on your tongue. You scrunched the fabric of his shirt feeling the material bunch under you. It was getting hot, too hot. You needed to get the stupid hoodie off of you. “I need you.” He moved from your mouth to your ear, licking the shell of it. “You already have me. But let me take care of you first.” You took in a shaky breath, the image turning you on beyond measure. You gyrated your hips, hoping this would get him to move faster. This seemed to do the trick. The two of you fumbled into your room, blind in the dark space. But it didn’t matter. Not when he was touching you like that. You were placed on a hard surface and you heard the crash of several things falling to the floor. You wondered briefly what it was when Matthew weaved his hands through your hair and tugged, baring your neck for his taking. His lips were scorching, sucking welts into your skin which made you squirm. Had it always felt this good before? You knew no one else had ignited something so wild inside of you. Leave it to your best friend to hold the key to your body. “Gonna make you feel so good.” Matthew hummed, the vibrations going straight to your crotch. You gasped, rubbing your thighs together to relieve the tension. A large hand parted them and grasped between them, cradling your heat. “Oh fuck.” “Shit Y/N.” He whispered, rubbing the area at a slow pace. You curled up into his touch, thrashing on the hard surface. “Bed. Now.” You grabbed the front of his pants, smiling when he choked. You were lifted off of the flat object and placed on the bed, the smell of dryer sheets filling your nostrils. You looked up at Matthew, the evening light providing enough illumination for you to see his heaving chest and tousled hair. You sat up, your legs touching his. You placed your hands hesitantly on the bottom edge of his shirt, your heart racing. Matthew nodded, letting you remove his top half. Of course, you had seen him shirtless before, but never in this context. Your mouth went dry at the sight, your fingers twisting nervously over one another. “Hey, hey. It's just me Y/N. Don’t have to be worried.” He leaned down to press a soft kiss to your temple, melting your anxiety. His kisses traveled around the sides of your face and on the sides of your neck, before coming to rest back on your lips. These kisses were slow...but deeper, more sensual. You soon found yourself trapped between Matthew and the mattress, becoming putty in his touches. His hands explored the curve of your waist, ending at the top of your shorts. He gazed at you, licking his lips. “Can I?” “Y-Yeah. Of course.” The scratchy denim was slid down your thighs in a flash, the sudden cool air bringing goosebumps. The textured pads of your best friend’s digits began to rub the underside of your foot, massaging the day's earlier stress away. You groaned, fisting the sheets tightly. “How does that feel?” He kissed each toe of each foot, venturing to your ankles. “So good..” Your eyes had fallen shut and you could focus on nothing but Matthew’s caresses. His touch traveled upward, closer to where you needed him most. You squirmed impatiently. “Gonna take all day big guy?” He paused, looking at you from lidded eyes. “My boys used to fuck with me talking about how fine you were and I never really noticed till I got back and now all this is in front of me and I have it all to myself.” His mouth slid along your outer thigh before stopping at the bottom of your underwear. “And I’m going to make every second of this unforgettable.” He breathed lightly, the air cooling the wetness between your thighs. You twitched at the sensation and huffed, dragging your nails down the sheets. “Matt-” You were cut off by the feeling of your bottom half being exposed completely. He took in a sharp breath. “Damn, Y/N.” He murmured, taking in the naked sight of you. The urge to cover yourself increased tenfold and you moved to do so, but Matthew was quicker. He pinned your arms above your head with one of his hands and shook his head at you. “Don't hide from me. Not when you look this gorgeous.” He ran a finger over your clit lightly and you jerked, not expecting the touch. “You're so sensitive..” He stroked the area again and you bit your lip, stifling a moan. “I'm gonna take good care of you.” He assured, wetting his lips before lowering his head and flicking his tongue out. “Shit.” You hissed, tossing your head to the side. The sensation had your toes curling, and you wondered if you might die right then and there. You thought you would when Matthew took the initiative and buried his face between your thighs, licking and sucking. Your hands freed themselves from his grasp and flew to grab at his hair, your nails digging into his scalp. Matthew winced and you relaxed a little, not wanting to hurt him. He lay on the bed and hooked your legs over his broad shoulders, before continuing to eat you out. You let out a string of moans, marveling at the skills the man below you possessed. You canted your hips into his mouth, the pleasure inside you rising. It had never happened this quickly before. The boys you had messed around with were laughable in the face of the cunnilingus master that was Matthew. Jesus this was what you had been missing. “Matthew, please. Touch me.” Without missing a beat, one of his hands came up to cup your breast under your sweatshirt, massaging the warm skin, as he used his thumb to stimulate your nipple. It sprang up in your bra after a moment and your head started swimming at the override of sensational rapture. You covered your hand over his, before deciding it was time to get rid of the rest of your clothing. You pulled the article over your head, jostling Matthew, who looked up at you in confusion, his chin glistening. “Let me.” He said, helping you with the rest of the clothing item. It thudded to the floor, leaving you in nothing but your bra. You rubbed your arms, the small hairs there rising in response to the cold. Matthew moved to kneel before you, towering over you even in this state. Using his knuckles he brushed the naked flesh of your shoulders and you took in a shaky breath when he kissed that same spot. His lips traveled south, leaving wet trails down to the top of your bra. He nipped at it, staring at you as he did so. Breathing had become much more difficult. “Are you still okay with this Y/N? We can stop if it's too much.” Matthew leaned back to give you space to think things over but you didn’t need it. There was no doubt in your mind that you wanted this. Wanted him. You reached around and unclasped your bra, letting it leave your body. Matthew’s eyes went wide and his mouth hung open at your boldness. You arched your back, giving him a full view of your chest. “Don’t back out on me now.” His mouth was suddenly attached to your nipple, as he sucked and teased. You pulled his head closer to you, closing your eyes and sighing in contentment. Matthew gave attention to the other nipple as well, until you were panting out needy pleas to him. He moved back onto his knees and unbuckled his belt, flinging it somewhere in the darkness. He yanked his jeans down and off, those adding to the pile of scattered clothing. You stared down at his manhood, gaping at the size of it. It seemed he had the same idea as you when it came to underwear that day. “I can see why they call you ‘Big Matthew’ now.” You let out a chuckle, the humor diffusing the sexual tension in the room. Matthew laughed along with you, grabbing his middle as he struggled to breathe. Once he had finished, he kissed the tip of your nose fondly and you lowered your hands to his erection in curiosity. It barely fit in your hand, but you held it as best as could, twisting your wrist experimentally. Matthew twitched, calling out your name in a whine. You smirked at his needy behavior and began to rub his shaft quickly until it was slick and red. Matthew’s head was thrown back, his Adam's apple bulging as he swallowed. After one hard tug, he swiveled his gaze to you, his eyes blown out. “Fuck, Y/N.” He scrambled off the bed and dug into his pant’s pockets, pulling out a packaged square. You raised an eyebrow at this and he shrugged. “Never know when you’ll need it. I’m not about to be a dad anytime soon.” He slid down the condom over himself before using his shoulders to push your body down as he licked the underside of your jaw. You reached up to bury your hands in his hair, opening your legs wider to accommodate him. He reached down to position himself and you took in a sharp breath. “Tell me if it hurts okay?” You gave a nod, bracing yourself. He eased himself inside you and you grit your teeth, feeling the stretch of your walls as they tried to take in the size of him. It hurt just as much as you expected, but that didn’t stop a noise of pain to blow past your lips. Matthew stilled inside you, his breathing deep. “You good?” “Yeah, yeah. Just give me a minute.” Matthew waited until you gave the okay then slowly thrust his hips, holding yours down to give himself more control. These movements soon picked up speed once you became adjusted and the bed squeaked as you two clung to each other. Sweat slicked the sheets and your skins, heated grunts the only sound in the room. Matthew suddenly pulled you up onto his lap, the angle hitting your g-spot. You clung to his shoulders, trying your best to meet his thrusts as he bucked up, cradling your head in the crook of his neck. “I love you Y/N.” He whispered into your ear. “I love you too. Always have.” You claimed his mouth this confession, feeling your inner muscles clench. Matthew reached down to flick your clit, and you screamed, having an orgasm so intense you saw white. You tugged at his scalp, riding out your high as he met his. His hips stuttered before he came, your name falling off his lips like a prayer. He collapsed on the bed, rolling you over so that you were nestled in his arms. Everything you have ever wanted but was always too scared to get was finally yours. His muscular arms felt as familiar as home but better.

Blessed- Daniel Caeser

You spent what felt like an endless night like this. Mexican food from your favorite taco truck around the block, driving to the cliff and watching the sunset, getting high and making brownies, and watching scary movies in the daytime with a pile of blankets because you were both too scared. Trying to avoid the inevitable was easy when you were with him. The feeling of happily ever after shown effortlessly through your smile spreading from ear to ear. Your thoughts were distracted by Matthew shuffling through a pile of clothes like a dog digging in the sand. “Hey Y/N do you know where my one blue dress shirt is I can’t find it.” He looked back at your sprawled out body on the bed. “I hung it up in my closet, what do you need it for I thought you didn’t have plans tonight?” “I need to start getting my clothes together I have to leave next week.” “What?” “I have to leave next week.” “I just don't get it.” You said, your head in the palms of your hands as your head shook in denial. “Don’t act like this you knew I had to leave.” The sound of hangers against the metal closet rang through the room. “You never told me when.” “You knew I couldn't stay forever what did you expect?” He snapped, twisting his body around so he could look you in the face. “I don’t know I’m just hurt… confused.” “I’m sorry if I knew you were going to confess your undying love maybe I would've stayed longer.” “So you regret it? Everything that happened? You regret it?” You rushed and got out of bed, standing in front of the closet. “I never said that. Why do you insist on putting words in my mouth?” “Take your fucking shirt.” You threw his blue dress shirt at in his face. It was the shirt he wore on your first real date. He took you to some fancy Japanese restaurant in downtown LA. You stormed out of the room, body consumed with anger. The plush beige carpet of your hallway pressed against your bare feet as you stomped into the kitchen. While rummaging through random cabinets in an attempt to clearly communicate your anger, you heard a loud slam coming from your bedroom. “Who’s shit are you slamming?” You yelled, walking back into the hallway “Jesus Y/N why do you have to start shit now?” “WHY DO I HAVE TO START SHIT? ME? IM THE ONE STARTING SHIT?!” “That’s what I said.” He said back throwing your cheap plastic laundry on the floor. “I’m not the one who can’t clearly communicate or realize what’s been in your face.” You argued back poking him in the chest with every syllable. “Y/N…. stop.” You continued antagonizing him. “You want me to stop because you regret us right. Or is it beca-” “STOP.” He finally gave in and raised his voice, shocking you when he firmly grasped your upper arms.

“Just fucking stop, I never said any of that shit Y/N.” “You were thinking it.” “You don’t know what I’ve been thinking. Have you even noticed? I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you for days Y/N, but I’m stuck. How do you tell the girl you love, your best friend, that hey I have to go back across the world come with me?” His hold on your arms relaxed.

“I can’t just say it like that.” “You want me to with you?” You looked up into his glossy brown eyes. “Yeah I’ve wanted you to go with me, I’ve wanted you over there with me since I left.” “Matthew I can’t just leave my job.” “You don’t even like it there Y/N they can replace you, you’ll be fine if you leave.” “What about all my stuff I can’t just leave my parents and my house.” “Y/N they’ll be fine they can sell the house and get a condo or something. You don’t need to be afraid of change I got you.” “I can’t stay in the dorm with you B.” “You can stay with Ashley, I can get you a job with Drew, I’ve had this figured out since you told me.” Tears began to roll down your cheek. Your forehead fell into his chest the feeling of instant comfort running through you. “Y/N you’re ok, you’ll be ok I got you.” “I’m so sorry Mathew, I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions, I’m sorry I’m scared of change I can’t help it.” Your confessed sobs interrupting each sentence. “Baby it’s ok just say the word and I’ll make this happen,” Matthew said, consuming you in his embrace.

~One week later~

Moon River- Frank Ocean

The coral and pink sky melted into white clouds. You peered out of the small cabin window as the flight ascended further into the sky. You uprooted the little life you did have and moved to Seoul with the love of your life. The thought caused you to clench your fist because regardless you were still scared. Matthews big hands caressed your balled fist easing your stress.

“Hey babe you're good we got this.” His deep voice soothed you as he delivered a kiss to your temple.

We have now reached cruising altitude, the refreshment cart will be around shortly.

Written by Jo

#kim matthew #bm #big matthew #kard #wild kard #king kard #bm smut #smut #kpop #ride on the wind #k.a.r.d #somin #jeon somin #jiwoo #jung jiwoo #kim taehyung #j.seph #kard smut

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reedrph · 6 years ago

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REEDRPH

HOW TO TWITTER RP (A DETAILED GUIDE)

As per request, I’m about to tell you how to roleplay in the Twitter roleplay community if you’re interested in starting. This is just my take on Twitter roleplay, and I’m sure there are others with different methods. But I’ll try to break this down step by step with pIcTuReS because I fucking love pictures.

TLDR; (Because im lazy)

GENERAL

Alright so if you’re unaware what twitter roleplaying is it’s roleplaying via Twitter; though you’ll find all the roleplay mains on tumblr in the ‘twitter rp’ tag. Unlike tumblr roleplaying where you write in the third-person, for twitter roleplays you write in first-person. As it’s social media based your tweets come from a first-person perspective which means everything is ‘I’ based. However, it is not uncommon for people to roleplay out paras in the DMs just like how you’d write on tumblr.

Twitter roleplays are fast, everything is happening that day at that moment, opposed to tumblr groups where you may be doing a thread set a week ago. They’re great if you don’t have a lot of time, but still want to roleplay, or want to try out a more fast-paced environment!!

APPLYING

Honestly applying for a twitter group is pretty much the same as applying for an appless tumblr group.

Now something that I tend to see a lot in twitter groups (at least the last time I checked the tag like three months ago MNXBXNBX and from my experience running them) groups drop into the tag but often won’t have their app up for 1-3 days. During that time they’re basically just building hype and gathering an audience, so when they do open it’ll be a swAMP of apps coming in in the first hour. If you like playing a popular faceclaim (like me and Jungkook) I find I rarely manage to snatch him up before anyone else.

But the actual app itself is normally easy, a lot of the time it’ll be requested you submit it opposed to using the ask box (since they may be a little bit too long for it) so prepare for that!!

SETTING UP AN ACCOUNT

Once you’ve been accepted it’s common to be given 6-12 hours to get your account in. You may think this is a short period of time, but you can put together a twitter account in 20 minutes.

A common theme, that I’ve never really experienced is people getting locked out of new accounts, though from my history using an email and cell phone verification can prevent this. (if you include your cell phone number go into your twitter settings and disable letting people find you from your phone number) As well as people say not mass following a bunch of people all at once also helps, so only follow 20 people at a time (I’ve mass followed 60+ blogs and have been fine)

If it’s a new account (or an old one you haven’t touched in a while), just like a new tumblr blog you may not show up in peoples notifs!! You need to be active first, which is why you may see people posting “//notifs” before things are even open for plotting. This is perfectly fine and the only reason you should tweet beforehand!! If you notice you may not be getting any replies the first night this is likely why, which is why you want to post ‘notifs’ and like some stuff first.

Usernames

When it comes to usernames (your @) people typically play off their characters first name and try to make it funny or interesting. Some examples of my own characters past and present would be:

grayson2gayson

jacobgotjams

theSINinSINNER

Alliteration is a good approach!! Pick words that share the same first letter and it’ll run smoothly. Or sometimes people's names can be turned or related to other things like:

VANITYNOTFAIR

BEVERLYhillsbaby

There are also common name ‘starters’ you’ll see used like:

‘WTF’CARINA

‘STFU’DARREN

‘WTD’TYLER

‘GDI’JAKE

‘1800′MARTINO

Really it’s very similar to how names are set up on tumblr.

Display Names

Display names are a little different than usernames, they’re found above the username and is actually what people see first. A lot of the time people will put in memes, TV characters, inside jokes, quotes, song lyrics really anything. Two examples of display names from my own accounts are:

For one character I’ve chosen a play on his name for his display name that being ‘50 Shades of Grayson’, and for the other I chose a meme, which is ‘Do you take teardrops?’.

Really what you put in the display name can be anything.

Biographies

On every twitter account, you get a spot to put a biography this is where you can write a little blurb about your character, put in a quote, a joke, tell us their pronouns, and all that fun stuff. Though often if someone doesn’t know what to write for a bio you will see them just put “Bio for sale” as a little joke.

An example from one of my characters biographies which also includes the display name and username is as follows.

I just included a small amount of information about him, used the ‘location’ spot to include their pronouns, and then the website spot to link back to the main group.

Icons & Banners

Depending on what kind of group you’re in changes what kind of icon you may use. For instance, if you’re playing someone famous and rich you may use a shot from a photoshoot, or a magazine. But if you’re playing someone with a less glamorous job, it’s a bit more fitting to start out with a selfie or a candid picture of your muse. (Later you may break out the more HQ pictures, I find that happens a lot)

For example, if you’re in a less glamorous setting the picture on the right would be more fitting. While if you’re in a glamorous setting you can get away with more HQ pictures. (But tbh no one’s gonna question it either way, you’ll see people post photoshoot pictures for milestones a lot!!)

Banners can be anything, you can toss in a picture of a meme, an aesthetic (some people like to match their icons to their banners), if you’re in a ship it’s common for them to change their banner to a picture of the S/O.

Following the Main

Just follow them on twitter, sometimes people will send a little tweet with it like ‘// @.rpname character name has arrived’ or literally just “//@.rpname hi”. But for most all you have to do is follow the twitter main and they’ll follow you back, if it’s an unopened group they may not post a follow, but already opened groups always will!!

INTROS

Okay so you’ve gotten accepted and set up your account now it’s time for your intro. And intros change person to person, everyone has their own style!! I love graphics so mine occasionally are a little fancier, but not always!!

It’s also common to end off your post with ‘LMS to plot’ which just means if someone likes it you DM them to plot.

IMPORTANT: Do not post tweets or your bio before the main gives the go ahead!! (Aside from the ‘notifs’ tweets)

Option One:

No bio post, you just introduce yourself in a tweet saying something along the lines of

“//Hey my names Reed, I’ll be playing Grayson and i don’t have a bio but he’s a 20 year old solo artist who’s been around here for two years. They’re pretty chill and kind of over dramatic.”

Option Two:

The lists, since a lot of people roleplay on twitter only through their phone you’ll see a lot of bios posted through a note app where they write down some general info, sometimes in lists, sometimes in blurbs. It’s not uncommon for people to post their characters app in it.

Option Three:

As someone into graphics a lot of the time I find myself being extra and just making pretty intros. This is not at all required or expected, but if you want to do it, you can.

PLOTTING

Plotting goes along with intros, it’s extremely common for someone to have a wanted connections list, or just say ‘LMS to plot”. Which means you’ll go to the DMs to plot with them.

But there are also a decent amount of people who prefer chem over plotting, it all depends on what kind of person you are.

TWEETING

If the main as given the go-ahead to start tweeting then it’s time to think of your first tweet. Now as I stated at the very beginning of this, twitter roleplaying is done from a first-person perspective (with the exception of if you para in the DMs but we’ll talk about that later.)

When it comes to OOC tweets make sure to always start them with slashes ‘//’ (one or two whichever you prefer), this is just the way of showing it’s OOC.

A lot of people tweet for their characters, like they would for themselves. This is very common in twitter groups, everyone puts a little part of themselves in their muses. But it’s also good to find ways to separate them so you aren’t playing to OOC. As it’s not uncommon for people playing more of a self-insert to feel attacked over IC drama that is not OOC, just since they’ve invested so much of their personal self in them. I personally often play characters opposite to my personality IRL to avoid this, however, if you roleplay and put a bit of yourself into the character there’s nothing wrong with that!!

Your first tweet will always feel like the hardest, which is why I typically choose to reply to other people first to take the pressure off before posting my own. But this can really be anything you could say what they had for breakfast, post something funny, or just say ‘hi’, it’s honestly up to you there’s no wrong way to start. You can even post a selfie, typically most people do sometime in their first 100 tweets.

REPLY TO OTHER CHARACTERS TWEETS

This is so important, because one of the most common things I see is people who do not reply to other characters, but expect people to reply to them and then they start saying the group isn’t inclusive because they don’t have a lot of threads. But the first few days the dash is always super busy, meaning a lot of tweets will get lost in it, so don’t get sad if some of your tweets don’t get replies, not all of them will. So make sure you’re replying to other people, that’s how you build connections and stay included in the group!! If you ever see anyone posting to RPTs or sending anons to the main saying things are cliquey and you’re in your first 1-5 days, almost 100% of the time it is because they are not replying to enough things themselves!!

If you’re active, posting your own tweets, and replying to tweets you can get above 100 tweets in your first night. (I’ve gotten 500-600 on the first night before)

You may see a lot of ‘LMS for a DM’ posts too, which just means if you like it, they’ll send you a DM.

SUPPORT OTHER CHARACTERS

Do you see that selfie on the TL?? Go like and retweet it!! Even post a reply on it if you’re really feeling it this is a fast way to make friends. Also, retweet any milestone posts you see posted!! It’s always nice to get support on your own character, which means you need to do it for others.

Also you should get out of your comfort zone, roleplay with faceclaims you may not normally roleplay with, or characters you don’t know.

In the end you'll come to understand more how things work as time goes on, and typically very fast.

DIRECT MESSAGES (DMS)

There are two types of general messages in the DMs (well three, but I’m giving the third its own category)

The first is OOC messages, used to plot, or communicate with your partner. Much like OOC posts on the timeline, you want to always start this out with ‘//’.

Now for IC messages. These are written just as you would write for DMing as yourself, the only difference is you’re doing it IC. So here’s a fast example I made between two of my own characters to show you how it works. It really is very casual, and sometimes you’ll DM with people everyday, other times it may die out, it’s all about character chemistry.

PARAS IN DIRECT MESSAGES

So paras still do exist in twitter roleplays!! They just happen in the DMs opposed to on the timeline. Now there are two different ways of acting stuff out in the DMs and one of them is the para way (my personal preference) or some people kind of just talk it, which I’ll also explain.

When it comes to para’s, I’m not going to lie the most common times I see them happen is with ships, writing out dates or smut (no smut if yoURE A MINOR). Which you may lead up to happening through messages or hint at it, and then you just ask your partner

“//hey do you want to para this?” and typically they’ll say yes, sometimes people might be too busy. If this is the case you can just headcanon it OOC!! Which just means you discuss what may have happened.

So if you’re wondering what a para may look like, it could be something like this:

Now for the ‘talk’ version, it’s a little different, and I’m personally not a big fan of it, but if it’s my partner's preference I’ll do it. And basically you don’t write out the actions, you just hint at them in what they’re saying.

So an example of what that looks like is the following:

OTHER IMPORTANT SHIT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT

Milestones: Milestones are when you hit a big number of tweets, for example every hundred tweets. People often celebrate by posting pictures, or videos. Though I find once I pass 1K tweets I don’t do milestones for every hundred, but I at least do them for every 500.

Indirects: An indirect is when someone mentions your characters name on the timeline, this means that when you search the name and hit ‘from people you follow only’ you can see it. These are great for selfie captions, so if you see someone asking for an indirect, give them one!! An example of one would be if someone said ‘grayson is the wORST’, since they used ‘grayson’ I can find it in my indirects. When using this for a selfie caption you typically credit the person who said it with their @ for example if I made it my characters selfie caption I’d format it as ‘@.characterurl: Grayson is the wORST’. Notice the period to separate the @ from the username? This is so they aren’t actually are tagged and get stuck with your notifications for that post.

Quirk: Some people like quirk, some people don’t. Basically, it’s characters who post memes constantly, make a joke out of everything, and are just very extra. I find that a nice middle ground is the best place to be. Don’t let that be the only thing you post, and don’t be too quirky in serious situations. But a little quirk never hurt anyone!!

TWITTER RP LINGO

TL: Timeline

LMS: Like my shit/stuff/status

DN: Display Name

DP: Display Picture

DM: Direct Messages

RT: Retweet

BASICALLY THE DO’S AND DON’TS

Do:

Follow your group's rules!!

Run your plots by the admins!!

Reply to other people’s tweets (as many as you can, don’t be selective!!)

Post your own tweets!!

Retweet all selfies and videos you can

Be a welcoming person!!!

Don’t:

Expect people to reply to your stuff if you are barely replying to anyone else.

Take IC drama as OOC

Be a shitty person, avoid being racist, sexist, homophobic etc, etc.

Be cliquey

Guilt trip people for ships!!

Only look for ships / faceclaim hunt ships

Tag up on characters on the dash (if you see two people arguing don’t throw your character in, it’s overwhelming)

Turn people against other players characters. Even if you don’t like them, it’s not right to isolate someone like that.

Go to RPT blogs with your problems instead of the admins. You can’t solve problems that way, if you talk to the admins, they’ll try to help. RPT blogs can’t, which makes you part of the problem.

IN CONCLUSION

That’s it MNBVCXZ If I missed something you want to know, send me a message!!

#twitter rp guide #rp guide #rph #rpt #rpc #my guide

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sunflowerstache · 6 years ago

Text

Not So Bad In L.A

A/N: It’s finally posted y’all! I’m so sorry it’s been so long since I last updated, life has kind of just been a bit busy and I was definitely in a writing jam/had some major writer’s block! But I got past it and I hope this was worth the wait! Love you all, and as always, if you have any questions/concerns/suggestions/want to get tagged/all of the above, please let me know! I love hearing from you beautiful people!

Chapter 5: The Light Is Coming

February 3, 2017

Word Count: 3.9k

Masterlist Fic Masterlist

Previous Chapter

“Excuse me, you’re doing what with who?!”

You and the girls were all sitting together in your living room, nursing a bottle of Moscato. It was the afternoon after Harry’s birthday party, and Nick had texted you early this morning, undoubtedly dragging his hungover feet on the way to the breakfast Harry had mentioned. Not only did he want to make sure you got home alright the night before, but being the nosy man that he is, felt the need to ask what went on with you and Harry while he was ‘knocking back countless tequila shots’.

“Don’t make it a bigger deal than it is, Sav. It’s lunch with a new friend.”

“Sure... lunch with a new friend who happens to be Harry fucking Styles.” Bri laughed, going to answer the door as the doorbell just sounded through your apartment.

Bella chuckled, picking up the now empty bottle of wine and frowning, “How are we out already?” she got up and walked into the kitchen, yelling; “Have you told Morgan about your new friend yet?”

“Not yet, no. She wants to take the USMLE soon so I don’t wanna bother her.” The USMLE is a 3-step test a hopeful doctor has to take in order to be eligible to get their medical license. She was trying to take it as early as possible, and you had to constantly remind her that she was definitely going to ace it since she was the smartest girl you’d ever met.

“Better tell her now before she sees you on some twitter account or some shit.” Sav laughed, “Also, I don’t want to be like a downer, but you know Harry might ask about your family, right? Are you – are you like, prepared for all that?”

The room got quiet and all eyes fell on you. You fiddled with the blanket resting on your lap and felt your chest grow a bit tighter. Bri and Bella had both re-entered the living room; Bri resting against the door frame and Bella taking her place back next to you on the couch.

“I um, I haven’t really thought about it.” You shrugged. You absolutely adored your family. When you lived at home, you valued nothing more than spending time with the people you love. And deciding to leave them was the hardest thing you ever done. But like most families, there were some things you just didn’t talk about. Some things you just didn’t want to even think about.

“Alright, how about we don’t be debby downers right now, and instead, we talk about this package that just came for Y/N.” Bri smiled, walking over to sit on the hardwood floor in front of you, handing you your package

“Ooooh, did your new boyfran send you something already?”

“Honestly, it was probably Ronnie. You know Y/N’s mom loves sending mail.”

“It’s from Youtube.” You smiled, opening the large box, “It’s um – it’s my plaque for reaching 100,000 subscribers.” YouTube was something that you never really talked about. It was something you did on the side after each one of your trips and people seemed to enjoy it. You loved creating a video where people could really capture the feel of a location before getting the chance to go, or even just watch the video for fun. You had somehow conned 100,000 very dedicated people into watching your videos and you couldn’t be more thankful for them.

“YES BITCH!”

“I know I’m speaking for all of us when I say you really deserve this. Seriously, you work your ass off for the magazine and then come home and work on your videos and I’m just really proud of you.” Bella smiled, raising her glass. Having your best girlfriends around you and supporting you during a journey that you didn’t know you would ever embark on was more important than any sort of award you could receive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry texted you early the next morning. You were sitting at your kitchen island, basking in the early morning sunlight that was shining through your windows and enjoying a bowl of Cheerios, when your phone dinged. You knew it wasn’t Nick, as he was still passed out on your couch. And it wasn’t any of the girls, as they were all getting ready for work. The five of you had a riveting night of watching The Office (Nick of course butting in and making comments about the original UK version) while playing a drinking game: take a shot whenever anyone makes eye contact with the camera. It was a quick way to ensure getting drunk, albeit not a great idea for the 3 of 5 of you who had work that morning. Nick was leaving to go home later tonight, after spending nearly a week showing you his favorite spots around LA, encouraging you all to drink more in those 3 weeks than you had since moving, and spending some days just cuddled on the couch watching movies. It was nice having him there. Granted, he had spent a day or two with other LA based friends of his, but waking up to him in your living room was nice, because you knew you most likely wouldn’t be seeing him again for some time. Glancing down at your phone, you smiled at the incoming message.

“Still willing to have lunch with me? Around 11?”

Part of you had thought he’d forgotten about his proposition. That maybe he was more drunk than he lead on that night and had just forgotten about you. Before his party, the two of you had been texting for almost three days straight, so it was odd when you didn’t hear from him the last day and half. You shook your head and thought the same thing you had been telling yourself; “He’s a superstar Y/N, he’s busy.”

“I think the real question is do you still want to have lunch with me?”

You sat and continued your chat with Harry for quite some time, deciding what kind of food you were in the mood for and a central location for you both (which according to Harry wasn’t a necessity on his end). But to your surprise, he continued the conversation. You felt like you had known him forever, but after thinking about it, you really didn’t know much about him… Other than what you learned by being a fan, and so you decided if you were going to be friends with the infamous Harry Styles, you were going to get to know the real Harry Styles.

“What the fuck are you smiling at, at 7am. There’s literally nothing to be happy about this early.”

“Nick, you wake up at like 4am for work, this should be nothing for you.” You chuckled, finishing your cereal and reaching to place your bowl in the sink across from your seat at the island.

“I’m generally not this hungover when going to work.” You opened your mouth to argue that statement, but he beat you too it and held up a finger, “I said generally.”

Not bothering to stifle a yawn, he reached into the cabinet to grab a mug and made himself busy making his morning coffee. Having him in the house was nice. Living with three other girls could get a bit hectic sometimes. There was usually lots of whining and yelling to be heard echoing through the house at all hours of the day, heels left all over the living room after long days of work, and you don’t remember the last time you were able to wake up and not find someone digging through your closet. It had been so long since you lived with a guy and it was nice being reminded of how simple it was.

“Alright look.” Nick mumbled as he turned around and leaned on the opposite counter to face you, “I’m leaving tonight, so you know I have to part with some brotherly advice.”

You sighed.

“Sorry.” he rubbed his eyes, “Anyways, I’m aware you’re talking to Harold and-“

“Grimmy no! I’m stopping you right there. We are not talking. We literally just met and are friends. I don’t even know if you can call us friends.” You knew this would be coming at some point before his departure. Nick always had a way to sneak in some weird form of protectiveness over you anytime he was around.

“You’re texting and meeting up. Call it what you will, but listen to me. Just be careful alright? I love the lad like he’s family, but when you’re with Harry, you’re not just with Harry. There’re always people watching and always something to be said about it. I just don’t want you surprised by anything.”

The ding of another incoming text message made you both look at your phone, smiling softly at Harry’s unknown perfect timing.

“Thanks Grim, I appreciate it. But I’m a big girl.”

“Look, I’m just trying to make sure your ass doesn’t get posted all over social media. If anyone’s gonna do it, it’s going to be me.”

“No one’s posting my ass anywhere. I’d have to have one in order for that to even happen.” The two of you broke out into a fit of giggles, eventually shushing each other in fear of waking up the rest of the house.

“Thanks for letting me crash with you these last couple days.” He smiled as you got up off your stool to make your way to stand in front of him.

“Thank you for coming to see me. I missed you.” You replied and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, “Now, I’m gonna go take a shower and get ready for my lunch plans with Harry and evidently the rest of the world.”

It was approaching 7:30am when you made your way into your room, watching Bri as she left your closet, holding a pair of black booties and uttering a sleepy “Morning.” You had about three hours before you had to meet up with Harry, realistically only two with getting ready and LA traffic. Your only dilemma was what to wear. You’ve seen how Harry dresses and can only assume what his standards are. Only problem was you didn’t own anything quite so designer. Shaking your head, you walked into your closet. After all, it was only lunch with a new friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upon arriving, you immediately knew that you and Harry had very different ideas of a causal lunch. Soft music and the murmur of conversations being held filled the air and you could faintly hear the sound of water in the distance.

“Hello. How may I help you today?”

You turned to see a young girl, most likely no older than 18, standing behind the podium and looking at you expectantly.

“I um, I think I have a reservation?” you then realized that you never talked to Harry about how this was going to work. Did you give the girl his name? What if someone heard and freaked out? Did he put it under an alias, and if so what was it? You probably looked like a crazy person standing there just starring at her blankly, “I’m meeting a friend, but I don’t know what the reservation is under.”

The young man standing next to her turned and interjected, “Mr. Einstein at table W12. I can escort her.” He made his way around the podium and pointed towards the back doors that led outside, “If you’ll follow me.” The restaurant was filled with predominantly middle-aged couples, which made sense considering it was a Friday at 11am. As the hostess in front of you opened the back doors, a small breeze blew through and your flowy white pants swayed with it. You had decided on pairing those pants with a green camisole top and a pair of small nude heels, figuring that if you were to somewhat dress up for any lunch, it would be this one. It crossed your mind for a brief moment that whoever this man was leading you to could in fact, not be Harry, but someone else waiting for someone to arrive, however, you then caught sight of his curls. Harry was seated in the far corner, head down looking at his phone, while one hand scratched the back of his neck. You could see his knee bobbing up and down and he was steadily chewing on his bottom lip, like whatever he was doing on his phone was causing him duress. But as soon as he heard your footsteps approaching, his head popped up and looked directly at you.

“Y/N. Hi.” He smiled as he stood up, opening his arms for a quick hug before the hostess led you right to an open chair at the tabl, ”Thank you Danny.” He nodded to the young boy.

“It’s good to see you again! Sorry I didn’t text you earlier, I was doing work stuff and Grimmy was over most of the day yesterday and you know how he gets.” He laughed

“No, don’t worry about it! Thanks for the invite…… Mr. Einstein.”

“I try not to give my real name when going out. Kind of causes a big thing that I just want to avoid, you know? Thought Einstein would be a good enough give away, considering you did call yourself that you when we met.” He chuckled

The two of you chatted for a bit, not really about much, mostly you telling him about a new piece you were working on for the magazine. He was very intent on just listening to you talk, which was something you hadn’t really experienced before. Growing up, you were always fighting for attention between your friends and family members, since there are so many of you. Not that how you grew up was a bad thing, just having someone who was genuinely interested in what you had to say was a nice change of pace. But you had made a promise to yourself this morning, you were going to get to know Harry, so you finally decided to take the topic off of yourself.

“Alright well, if we’re going to be friends, I can’t be the only one who talks. I happen think you quiet enjoy talking about yourself.” You surprised yourself being so up front with him, but like you’d been thinking since you first met, you felt very comfortable around Harry.

“Oh, do you now? What else do you think you know about me?” he smirked, leaning forward and folding his hands on the table.

And that’s how it started. Instead of playing the typical 20 questions game to learn about each other, you just spewed out different assumptions you had about the other. It ranged anything from where you’re from to your favorite animal to what your favorite kind of cake was.

“Okay, okay. You’re a One Direction fan.” he guessed. At this, you could feel your ears perking up and warmth in your cheeks. Averting your eyes, you glanced to your side at the water.

“What lead you to that assumption?”

“I may have made a few inquiries before lunch today.” he shrugged, “Am I correct?”

“Hmmm yeah, I guess you could say that. I um – my best friends - Bella, Sav and I have been fans since you guys finished X Factor. And it just kind of snowballed from there. We had been to like five shows. Were looking forward to hearing album number five live, but there was a hiatus announced before that could happen.”

“Yeah, well I hear they wanted to try the whole ‘Solo’ thing.”

“Yet, only one has released music.” you pondered, jokingly.

He smiled, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms, “I happen to have it on good authority that the devishly handsome one is working on his music.”

“Devishly handsome? Niall really does have something special about him, huh.” You joked, sipping your water and staring at him over the glass, “Joking. I look forward to hearing it one day.”

The two of you quickly fell back into your game of information and bouncing assumptions off one another, laughing when someone got one correct and correcting them when it was wrong. He raised his eyebrows when you corrected him on your favorite song – his guess being Waste a Night by Kings of Leon “simply based on your reaction to it at the concert.”

“It’s actually Girl Crush by Little Big Town.” You nodded,l to yourself, waiting for a laugh or even an unenthused ‘really?” but it never came.

“Great song.” He nodded, like he was making a mental note of the song

“I’m confident in this one.” You smiled smugly, “Your favorite band is Fleetwood Mac.”

“One of them, definitely. Huge influence growing up and getting into music. Good thing we aren’t keeping score, ‘cause I’d be out for the count.”

“All those years being a fan are finally paying off. But, because I’m off the record winning and feeling very generous, I’ll give you give three extra assumptions – uninterrupted. Go.”

“You can’t put me on the spot like that! Okay, um your favorite food is rice?”

You looked at him quizzically, “How-“

“You ordered extra rice with dinner. Educated guess.” He shrugged before moving onto his next one, scrunching up his nose like he knew this one would be wrong “You have a dog?”

“Wrong. No dogs allowed in the apartment. Bri’s allergic. Leaning towards getting a kitten soon tho!” you grinned, excited by the thought of having a sweet lil bub prancing around your apartment.

“A cat person, duly noted.” Smiling, he tucked some hair, that had been blown into his face by the increasing wind, back behind his ear, ““Alright.” he sat quiet for a moment, thinking of his next comment, “You’re an only child.”

There it was. The question that you dreaded but always gets asked. You should have known it was coming at some point soon, considering you had been talking to each other about your personal lives, including families, for almost an hour. It was normal; the person you were making friends with wanting to know about your family. But it made the knot in your stomach zoom up into your throat. You could go one of two ways, give Harry the full truth like you know he would want, or the less painful way and tell a white lie. He wouldn’t even know if it was a lie, right? I mean, it’s not like he would dig into your family history. Mentally you sighed, deciding that telling the truth was the only option. It wasn’t something you wanted to hide. It didn’t seem fair.

“False. I um, I have a brother and a sister.”

“Really? What are they like?”

“Well, my sister Morgan is 20 and she goes to school at The Medical University of South Carolina. She wants to be a pediatrician.” you grinned, thinking about her in the Winnie the Pooh scrubs she showed you last night.

“And your brother?” Your smile slowly faded and suddenly the body of water next to you was the most interesting thing you’ve ever seen. Did you want to do this? Share this with someone you really barely knew? Hell, you didn’t even like talking about this with Grimmy or the girls. Licking your lips and taking a deep breath, you decided what to do.

“Brandon’s my older brother. He’s honestly the best person I’ve ever known. He went to The School of Visual Arts in New York. He wanted to be a videographer. He was amazing.” you paused, glancing over at Harry, who was intently waiting for you to finish talking. The gleam in his eyes was present when he noticed your use of the past tense, silently understanding what that meant. “He was the kind of guy you just wanted to be friends with, ya know?” you continued, “Like he could talk about sports with you for hours, but you wanted to talk about music? He knew that too. Art? Cars? He was your guy. He just got along with everyone.”

“Well, he sounds fantastic.” Harry nodded, reaching across the table to grab your hands

“He is - was.” you gently shook your head, “He um, he passed away almost 3 years ago. I think everything just got to be too much for him? I’m still not entirely sure.”

The waves softly crashed to your left and you could hear the hustle and faint bustle of the street to your right, but the two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a moment. “I’m sorry. This isn’t a very fun conversation to be having on a lunch date.” you let out a small fake laugh but he shook his head

“No, it’s alright. I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me. Means a lot.” he smiled, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

The two of you sat quietly for a moment, enjoying each other’s company, and you noticed Harry’s hand still resting on yours. It was big enough to almost engulf yours entirely, and it gave off a nice wave of heat. Just enough to make you forget about the chilling wind that blew past the two of you. Your waitress had come to drop of your bill and much to your protest, Harry had insisted that he pay. Something you knew he would try to do from the moment he asked you to lunch. So, you didn’t let him push you. Before he handed his card to the waiter, you slipped your card into the small black folder and insisted that the bill be split in two. He gave you a pointed glance and shook his head, but you knew he wasn’t too upset. After all, his hand never faltered.

“Thank you for coming today. I know you were probably pretty weirded out being asked to lunch with some guy you barely knew. But I really enjoyed it.”

“Oh, it was super weird. Considering the guy in question was someone I’ve looked up to for like 7 years.” you giggled, slightly embarrassed, “But I’m glad you did. It was fun. Plus, now Nick can stop making fun of me for not having any friends in LA.”

He shook his head, pushing his chair out so he could stand, “God, Nick, ever the passionate one.” He moved behind you quickly so that he could pull your chair out.

“Did I tell you he tried to give me a speech about you this morning? How you’re famous and always have people watching.”

Harry gaped at you, “You taking the piss? He sat me down in the kitchen yesterday. Told me I had to remember you ‘aren’t used to the limelight, so be careful’. Like I was planning on taking you to a red carpet or something.” He chuckled, “I had to remind him it was just lunch.”

“He just tries to go all brotherly on me since – “ you paused, talking a deep breath, “Since Brandon’s not around to do it. At least that’s his reasoning. He may be a pain sometimes, but he means well.”

Coming to the front doors of the restaurant, a sad feeling radiated over your body. You lunch with Harry was coming to a close, and he had said he was going back to London next week, so you didn’t know if this was the last time you’d be seeing him for some time. And you quiet enjoyed your time together today. He cleared his throat and chuckled beside you before opening the front door,

“So… a lunch date huh?”

Tag List: @emotionally-imbruised @theasstour @swayingnoodlelove @movingalong3 @staceystoleyourheart @north1692 and the lovely @isitstraightvodka @isitjamiemoriarty @meet-me-in-the-kitchen @meetyourmouths for always being so wonderful and supportive and just great pals💛

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alxspeaks · 6 years ago

Text

As some of you may have noticed, I have been pretty quiet on social media recently. In fact, I went roughly 2 months without as much as opening up a social media app. In total, it was 3 months until I officially made a post from any of my social media accounts. Now this may not seem like such a big deal, but like most of the world’s population I was addicted to social media.

In 2019, it is estimated that there will be around 2.77 billion social media users around the globe and that figure continues to increase (The Statistics Portal).Social media is everything right now: people turn to Twitter before they turn on the news, every business has a social media platform, and it is now the easiest way to contact anyone from your Mom to Cardi B. Everyone is involved in some aspect of social media and it is so easy to get caught up without even realising it. I would often find myself constantly hopping between Facebook, Instagram ,Snapchat and Twitter, scrolling, uploading and posting. It was the first thing I did when I woke up and the last thing before I went to bed. I would stay up late with nothing but the glare from my phone screen glowing on my face as I would constantly follow updates and news feeds. It had gotten to the point where I began to feel uncomfortable without my phone in my hand and whenever I felt a bit socially awkward it was the first thing I would look for. I began to depend on it and this twisted relationship started to trigger a lot of problems for me.

It all began in March 2018 just after my 24th birthday when I started to really notice a big change in my overall mood: 50% of the time I was unhappy and the other 50% I spent worrying and feeling anxious. Throughout my time at University I had been noticing increased anxiety and changes in my mood but after graduation it just seemed to be getting progressively worse. It came to a point where my overall outlook on life was consistently negative and I was miserable, unable to eat, sleep or think clearly. I had this feeling that I was just a total failure at everything and I was finding it extremely difficult to cope with life. I was really scared of the thoughts going through my head and I felt as though I had no control over my emotions. Although I had felt overwhelmed and stressed before, I knew that this was different but I had no idea what was happening to me. I sought advice from a friend who I knew was open about her mental health journey and after speaking to her I took a huge leap and decided to refer myself to my local mental health team.

This was just the worst thing for me as I hate drawing any attention to myself, yet, here I was, preparing to talk to total strangers about my life. I started doing my own research into the way that I was feeling and I began to discover that I had symptoms similar to that of Anxiety.These were symptoms that I had been suffering with with for over 5 years and I had just put it down to stress or to me simply overreacting and being silly. I was later diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) Social Phobia and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. MAD! One day i’m just me trying to live my best life, and the next I suddenly have three Anxiety Disorders that I now have to manage and understand. The change was huge and I felt as though I had to learn who I was all over again as all of this time I had been living with a mental health condition that I knew nothing about. It’s crazy to think that if I hadn't taken my health into my own hands I would have never had any answers for the way that I had been feeling all of these years.

There were various different factors that had led up to this point in my life, University being the main one as that was when I had my first signs of anxiety: my self-confidence had really plummeted and I found myself feeling completely lost. After graduation, everything just seemed to be going wrong like my entire future was slipping away from me and I was helpless to stop it (Post-Graduate Depression see article links below). I was under way too much pressure from myself, my family (being the sole carer for two parents with long term illnesses), and from life in general with no help and no one who could truly understand. I was really unsettled and didn’t have anywhere to truly call my home. Job rejections had just become so commonplace that I didn’t even realise how much it was affecting my self confidence. Family and friends that I thought I could count on had all left and in the space of about 3 weeks my friendship circle had more than halved, at a time when I needed the most support I felt truly alone. During this time, I was still active on social media scrolling away, but the more I scrolled the worse it made me feel about my own life and each time I put down my phone after being on social media I felt upset. At times, I was even drawn to tears. Not only was it lowering my self-esteem and fueling the ideas in my head that ‘I am a failure’, it was also a huge trigger for my Anxiety. Once I realised this, I knew I had to take action, but I honestly didn’t know how. Then, one day, I went to spend some time with one of my closest friends and she said four life changing words to me. ‘You have a choice’. As obvious as this may seem I had genuinely forgotten that I actually have the option to choose whether or not to participate in social media. She explained that she had been through a similar experience and that she had to set herself some very strict rules. One of them was that she only logged in when she was making a social media post and logged out straight after; she never scrolled! That was all the advice I needed and I immediately logged out of all my social media accounts and guess what? The world didn’t end and I finally felt as though I had control over one aspect of my life. I now controlled social media; it did not control me. The moment I logged out, I didn’t feel the urge to log back in for months. However, I still found myself reaching for my phone out of habit. So, to shift my focus, I downloaded apps that are constructive uses of my time such as wordscapes, Duolingo (started learning new languages) and Headspace (mindfulness meditation).

Throughout all of this I was still struggling whilst awaiting my first counselling appointment on a 3 month waiting list, but I put on a brave face, carrying on with business as usual. Then, one day, I snapped. I had a huge panic attack and during this whole episode I accidently smashed my phone. I had completely given up on life and I felt as though no one understood what I was going through.

So, there I was, completely broken and no phone, no contacts, no apps, nothing! Ordinarily I would have been even more of a mess after breaking my phone, but I later found that this gave me the push I needed to understand that I don’t need to be contacting people all the time and people don’t always need to be updated on my every move. In fact, it’s when I am most quiet on social media that I am working my hardest, and at this particular time it was vital that I put all of my efforts into working on me and my well being.

In addition to this, (I have a confession to make, here it goes…) I haven't picked up a pencil in over a year! Unfortunately I have not been able to design as much as a vest since last year summer. When my mental health deteriorated, so did my creative flow. However, I did not see it at the time so I just put more pressure on myself to create a new collection until it made me sick and my body started to shut down. I went without sleep, food, water, social life, pretty much everything a human needs to function. I was forcing myself to produce work in ridiculous time frames, frantically trying to prove to myself and the world that I am good enough. The fact that I couldn’t think clearly just caused me more frustration but mostly I didn't want to let everyone down: all of you who believe in me and my creative talent. I already felt like a failure in my own eyes and I didn’t want anyone else to think the same. My desire was to be constantly seen on social media doing amazing things in fashion but that just wasn’t my reality.

The truth is, I had built up so much pressure around myself and my fashion career that it became a huge anxiety trigger for me. As a result, I haven't been able to return to my beautiful design studio in nearly a year. Me, Alex, who lives and breathes fashion. I wrestled with the idea for a long time but I was forced to take an extended break from fashion design and my other projects until I saw some improvement in my mental health. I once said that if I was to suddenly die I wouldn’t be upset because I was no longer alive, I would be upset because I didn’t get the chance to live a life that I enjoyed living. I had to take a break and readjust my whole life, it was seriously a matter of life and death; I had to put my fashion career on hold.

I’ve heard of so many artists, musicians and writers taking creative breaks and now I completely understand why. My creativity is such a huge part of me but it only works when i’m in good health. Anything that I create outside of that is just not a clear representation of me as an artist. I was so focused on trying to live my best life through the eyes of others that I forgot to look after myself. Right now, living my best life currently looks like attending my therapy sessions, remembering to breathe, drinking plenty of water and practicing mindfulness. I plan to take as much time as I need to focus on me and my health so that I can come back stronger and produce something that’s true to who I am as a designer when I am at my best. So next time you see me, don’t ask how my collection is going, ask me how I am doing!

We often look at people who do great things and admire them from afar. In our eyes they might seem like the best and the brightest and it’s easy to assume that all is well with them. But, my experience has shown me that this is one of the most dangerous assumptions a person could make. I was still going through all of this trauma when I was raising the money for my collection, when my shirt design was sold in Hawes and Curtis and when I became one of Birmingham’s 30under30 finalists. I realised that I had been wearing a happy mask and suffering in silence for years until it eventually fell down and I was left to deal with everything that I have been hiding from. It came to the point where I was just waiting for someone, anyone, to ask me if I was ok. Then, finally, I took my health into my own hands and bravely asked for help.

I am currently undergoing therapy sessions with the best therapist ever and we are working through small steps to help me get better. I finally have somewhere safe that I can call my home and i’ve started spending more time doing things that I enjoy like being outdoors and writing poetry. I also started doing yoga and practicing mindfulness meditation so I can learn how to switch off when my head is just doing the most (the Headspace app has literally saved my life, check it out). My relationship with social media is now so much better and I have set rules for myself #noscrolling and I logout after every session. I have seen huge improvements in my mental health, self-esteem and body confidence since doing this and I just feel generally more positive about life. I still have a very long way to go and I am nowhere near better yet but each day I learn something new and I make progress.

I logged out of social media and it was one the best decisions I have ever made for myself. On my 24th birthday I told myself that this was going to be the year of me and so far it has been. Although it has been my most difficult year to date I have been forced to focus on me and put my health first because, at the end of the day, that is what is most important.

For more information about Anxiety Disorders and mental health advice check out these links below.

For Useful Contacts

https://birminghammind.org/contact-page/emergency-contacts/

For Information

YouTube- The 5 Major Anxiety Disorders

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzaNQAh3NiY&t=7s

Mind

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/anxiety-disorders/#.W6GCdy2ZNsM

Beyond Blue

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety

Post-Graduate Depression

https://metro.co.uk/2017/07/17/why-is-no-one-talking-about-post-graduate-depression-6760769/

https://www.topuniversities.com/blog/we-need-talk-about-post-graduation-depression

References

The Statistics Portal https://www.statista.com/statistics/278414/number-of-worldwide-social-network-users/

#mental health #mental disorder #positive mental attitude #black mental health #blackwomanmagic #health #lifestyle #wellbeing #motivation #inspiration

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