I Never Told You What I Do...in general
A/N: It’s very me of me to come back out of.....everything with a very self-indulgent fic because of......normal teen problems? Anyways feel free to ask me my qualms about being ND and being jealous of people in relationships.Title is an MCR reference. Also yes this is accurate, I do in fact have an APUSH quiz tomorrow and I’m writing this instead of doing my reading.
Warnings: implied masturbation, mild suggestive jokes, a little test anxiety, making out, spoilers for the movie Spree
Tag List: @bisexualnathanyoung, @super-unpredictable98
“Luci, I literally came over to your house to study, and you did better than I did on the review. It’s literally history and you know how your dad is. You’ve got this.”
“I know, I just feel this....grossness in my chest about it,” he replies, fist on his chin. “Almost like-”
“You can’t breathe? Yeah, I know, that’s the inevitable test anxiety I’m afraid.” you reply, patting his hand. Lucien puts his hand over-top yours and gently rubs it. A rare smile pops up onto his face, one that goes up to his eyes.
“Thanks babe.”
The late bell rings, and the door to the classroom closes. The quiz papers are passed out, and before you know it, you’re 15 questions deep and writing down short answers. Across from you, Lucien’s leg is bobbing up and down, but his pencil is moving, and he seems to be on the last page of the test.
“Who were two writers who emerged from the Second Great Awakening? Explain one of the writer’s beliefs, and how they differed from initial American beliefs.”
You read the question a few times before it processes in your mind, and you get to writing. “Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau; Thoreau wrote about how nature is a gateway to the greater individualism that secular utopian societies encouraged. America is known for it’s hive mindset, and the belief that nature is something to be connected to, rather than to exploit, directly opposes that.”
You move onto the next question, and before you know it, you’re on the last question of the quiz. Just as you finish it, a fire drill goes off. “Fire drill on a Friday, that’s odd.” you thought to yourself. You make your way out of the classroom door, and catch up to Lucien, who’s a few strides ahead of you.
“Hey Luci honey. How’re you liking the quiz?” you ask him, pinkie in his hand.
“It’s not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. The question about Joseph Smith almost threw me though.” he replied, letting out a huff of air.
The two of you make your way to the baseball field, and you stand in line in front of him. It’s a somewhat chilly day, with cirrus clouds dusting the sky, sun shining. A breeze makes it way into the field, forming goosebumps on your skin. Lucien notices and pulls you closer to him, breath dusting over your skin. You two sit there for a moment, and he holds out an earbud to you.
“You’ll never make me leave, I’ll wear this on my sleeve.
Give me a reason to believe.
So give me all your poison. And give me all your pills.
And give me all your hopeless hearts
And make me ill.”
You close your eyes, and remember the moment you looked at Lucien and went “Yeah....he’s cool.”
The first week of school was unnerving for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, new people after a while of being....not near them. Food, romance. “Ew, you thought to yourself.” The gas in your intestines did little to aid you either, but your “I only do every day once.” philosophy was the only thing keeping you from running out of the auditorium doors.
You sit a chair away from the previous person, and put your head onto your binder, wishing that the day would pass as quickly as it came after open house. (Which you definitely almost didn’t have an anxiety attack at.) A person sits a chair away from you, and you reel at their appearance, and observe the way they slouch in the wooden chair, phone in hand, headphones in ear. Their hair is a pale grey, most of it shaved off.
“Nice outfit.” you reply, looking at his clunky boots with envy.
“Huh? Oh thanks, made it myself.”
You recognized him from the corner of your 1st and 5th period classes, which he usually didn’t actively participate in, giving a half-hearted “here” for attendance at “Bloodmarch”. This, however, was your first time properly speaking to him.
“Yeah, you kinda give off that punk-y vibe. That and I can hear you blasting My Chem from 2 seats over.”
“You listen to MCR?” he asks, earplug ripped from his ear. Nice helix piercing.
“I’m full of surprises man.”
He leans closer to you and begins a full conversation about the emo scene in the early 2000s, and you answer back enthusiastically. He seems really passionate about it, and even as the bell rings, you two keep chatting. “Oh my god, the things I would’ve done to be able to get tickets to Warped tour man.” “Same!! I was the size of a fucking banana at that point. I mentally attended it.”
First period passes in a flash, and Lucien pats your shoulder when you get up.
“We can keep talking at lunch. I have Bio for 4th period and I’ve seen you at lunch, so I think we’re set.” he says, voice slightly muffled by his mask.
“Cool! I’m right outside your class, if I have the teacher right, so it won’t be too much of a trek to get to you.”
You two wave goodbye and part ways, and for the first time in a long time, you find yourself hopeful to hang out with a real person.
As promised, you two talk at lunch, and chat on the way to 5th period, almost getting in trouble for giggling too loud at images of “pickle gerard”.
The days pass by, and you find yourself looking forward to going to school because of Lucien, talking to him any moment you’re free. When fall break rolls around, he asked you to spend it with him.
“I’m seeing a movie on Saturday, Halloween Ends. You want to come with?” he asks, and you think “Oh fuck, is this a date? I’ve....never been on one. What in the hell do I expect-,”. Shelving that for another time, you agree.
“I’m going to the library first though. Is that cool with your dad?” you ask, skipping a song on a playlist.
“Oh yeah, definitely. He has this huge library in his house, but he loves watching movies, so he’s probably gonna pop in.”
You smile at that, and as 3:30 rolls around later in the day, you meet Lucien downstairs, and he checks his phone, replying to a message. You stand near him, and he grabs your hand, “My dad parks leagues away from where everyone else is, you’re uh....gonna need a guide.”
Lucien was a big fat liar.
His dad, Damien, was about 7 feet away from the entrance of the school, in full Victorian garb. He looks up from his own phone, and his face lights up at the sight of his son.
“Lucien my dear boy! How was your day?” he asks, bringing Lucien into a hug, kissing the top of his head. He grunted at the contact, but his shoulders slumped a few inches, melting into the touch of his dad.
“It was good, a little long because of the testing. But I got to skip 5th period which was a relief because I didn’t feel like shitting my pants (”Language!”) over another test.”
“Luci, that’s one of the 2 classes we share, do you secretly hate my guts?” you retort from behind him, a teasing look on your face. He chuckles and replies with “Only that you can be a real pain....and I hear your guts literally all the time.”
“Oh please, Lucien, I never make beans anymore because of the way the pillows are simply saturated with the flatulence you let out. Now, who’s this?” Damien asks, a hand on his son’s shoulder.
“Just three raccoons in a trenchcoat, sir.” you reply. he seems to push himself out a bit more at the word “sir”, a grin accompanying his face. You set your laptop bag down, and extending your hand for Mr. Bloodmarch to kiss, a custom Lucien reminded you of.
From behind Damien, you see Lucien tap his dad on the shoulder, whispering something in his ear, a blush creeping up his cheeks and neck.
“Oh! I’ve heard so much about you, dear. Lucien talks about you nonstop. He’s never been much of a chatterbox, but when it comes to you, he never seems to run out of words.” Damien said, smile stretching to his eyes, (”Just like Lucien’s.” you think to yourself.) He continues talking, much to Lucien’s display.
As you walk to the car, Damien quiets a bit, trying to talk as the cars pass by. “I can’t walk, talk, and look for traffic. There’s going to be a smattering of dead vampire upon the pavement I’m afraid.” he jokes, opening the door for you.
“Guests get to pick the music.” Lucien explains as Damien hands you a few CDs, and turns the car on.
The ride to the library was fairly short, and the three of you headed into the building, and split up. Lucien stopped off at the kid section “I do early childhood development internships, might as well read the source material.” and you and Damien walk up to the YA and Teen section, out of breath from the 4 story walk.
“Damn it, they don’t have Cinderella is Dead.” you mutter to yourself as you peruse through the shelves, pulling the books that catch your eye to the edge of the shelf.
Damien heads to the section you’re in, and gasps excitedly at the manga selection, almost immediately picking a few off the shelves.
“I bind my own fanfiction, you see. I find myself needing more of the main material, and well, here we are.” he explains quickly, finger tapping along the spines of a few copies of “Naruto”. “That may have been too much information.” he replies, looking away quickly.
“Oh no, you’re completely fine. Lucien’s told me about it. And about your home-library. From his description, it sounds absolutely magnificent.” you reply, and it’s clear he appreciates the compliment, as his eyes shine a bit brighter.
“Ah. A word about Lucien and your friendship. I mean not to meddle, but I really do think find that my son is fond of you. Quite fond. He talks about you constantly, dear.” he whispers, looking you in your eye.
“I um....thank you Mr. Bloodmarch. I’m also fond of him. I really enjoy his company. He’s really nice to me, and keeps me sane at school. But you’ve probably heard all that by now.”
“Oh no, I find it interesting. But I do implore you to tell my son these things as well. I fear he may go mad from the times you’ve asked to borrow a pencil, or shared your lunch with him.” he laughs, awaiting an answer.
“I’ll keep that in mind this weekend. Thank you for letting me know.”
The two of you head over to the DVD section, and at the sight of “Spree” you gasp loudly and snatch it from the shelf, cradling it to your torso. The rest of the searching is much less exciting, and you pick a few other things. Lucien meets the two of you downstairs, and you check out.
“Vegetarian lasagna is on the menu for tonight, dear, I hope you’re not allergic to eggplant.” Damien says, over the notes of Mitski playing from the stereo.
“That’s fine by me!”
The evening passes by quickly, and you prepare your sleepover with Lucien, plugging spree into Damien’s large television in the sitting room, and devouring your bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. “I’m the only one who eats it, Lucien thinks it tastes of um, toothpaste and shit, I’m afraid.” You laugh at that, and as Kurt meets his demise, you feel yourself slipping into the warmth of sleep, Lucien’s shoulder serving as your pillow.
You wake up the next morning in the guest room, and to the smell of pancakes and vegan sausage. Lucien’s even cuter when he first wakes up, you find, as his hair is a mess (and wavy!), and his low voice dips even deeper, reaching molasses territory with how he seems to trap you in his mumbled greeting. I could get used to this, you think, as you dig into your breakfast.
The rest of the weekend passes without a sitch, save for Lucien’s hand touching yours in the too-salty, but so delicious popcorn. You two discuss the movie afterwards, but not before Lucien confesses to you.
“I uh...like you a lot. And I kinda want you to be my partner...or girlfriend....whatever makes you more comfortable.” he mumbles, blush up to his forehead and ears.
“I’d like that a lot Luce....I’d like that a hell of a lot.”
Damien picks you two up, pinkies touching, and he almost cheers from the front seat. (”Finally! Your friends to lovers has been achieved!!!”) You’re pooped by the time you get home, but not pooped enough to neglect yourself of fantasies you’ve held off on thinking about, which may now become a reality.
~
You snap back to reality, and Lucien is still chilling on your neck, his arms wrapped around your form. He hums into your neck (albeit uncomfortable, he’s quite tall and gangly, but not immune to achy bones). The all clear is given for the fire drill, and the intercom comes on to alert everyone to grab their things and report to their 6th period classes.
Lucien hugs you goodbye “See ya at 3:30.” he says, and you head to class, a smile on your face. A lab follows a costing quiz, and you save some of the leftovers for Lucien, who never denies food. “You cooked it babe, even if other people are helped. I’ll gobble it and you down any day of the week.” He, once again, meets you downstairs, and kisses you on the cheek, checking your weekend plans once more.
“Ok so we’re watching The Menu on Saturday, 7pm showing and you’re spending the night, right?” he clarifies, texting the information to Damien, regardless of him being 10 feet away in his car.
“Yeah, that’s good.” you say, feet cracking at the fixed position they’d been in from the day.
At home, you quickly shower, then proceed to lock your door, and collapse into bed. “Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.” you mutter to yourself, slipping a hand past your sleep pants.
The next day arrives, and you spend most of the day pottering around and getting chores done. Once the clock hits 5:30, you head to the bathroom, and freshen up, and put on something other than night-clothes.
“Got your sleep-clothes, phone, charger, money?” your mom asks.
“Yes.”
“Pocket knife, just in case.”
“Um...we’ll come back to that, but I do have two shoes and two iron fists, so I’m sure that counts for something.”
You arrive at the movie theater and get dropped off at the front entrance. Lucien spots you once you’re inside the building, and gives you another kiss on the cheek.
“You ready to get spooked baby?” he asks, hand entwined in yours.
“Hell yeah I am.”
As the movie shows, Lucien begins shifting more and more towards you, even at one point turning his head into your shoulder, a small scream exiting his mouth.
“Like father like son, huh?”
“Shut. Up.” Lucien states, nuzzling his face into your arm. He stays like that for the remainder of the movie, jumping here and there. Once it ends, he slowly gets up, and keeps you at his side “Just in case any creepy chef tries to threaten me.”
Damien’s waiting at the entrance, and noogies his son, who begrudgingly accepts it. “How was the movie, kids?”
“It was good. Nice and spooky. I wonder if I’ll have enough money to get invited to a murderous dinner...like Clue.” Lucien chuckles at that, and kisses your hand, quieting down on the ride back home.
“Alright so, I’ll be out tonight and part of tomorrow morning. I’ll be with Hugo, as he invited me to a wrestling match, and I’d hate to turn him down. I expect the house not to be on fire, no babies running around....and please eat some real food while I’m gone.” he states, spinning his keys in his hand.
“Mhm!” “Yes, dad!” you two reply, Lucien already heading up the stairs with you in tow.
“I mean it, you better be using protection Lucien, you know where the condoms are!” he shouts, hand cupped around his mouth.
“YES, DAD!” he yells back, red flushed with embarrassment.
He takes you up to his room, and flops down onto his bed, springs creaking. He beckons you with his hand, and you sit across from him, heads almost touching.
“So uh....what do you want to do?” he asks, brown eyes shining in the moonlight let in by his curtains.
“Get these movie germs off first. But after that....I think I want to make out with my boyfriend and watch shitty horror movies.” you reply, sitting up to look him in the eye.
“Sounds like a plan.”
True to your word, as soon as you get out of Lucien’s bathroom, you sit next to him, and he smiles at you, putting his phone facedown on his nightstand. Lucien gently kisses you, hand cupping your jaw. He stays like that for a few moments before moving down to your neck, gently nipping the skin there.
His hand drifts down to your waist, and lifts part of your shirt up, rubbing circles and invisible shapes into the flesh. Your hands tangle into his hair, and play with the few inches of hair on the nape of his neck, gently pulling at it. A quiet noise escapes his lips when you accidentally brush against his lap, breaking away to apologize.
“No no no, you’re good. Just...sensitive is all.” he admits, kiss-swollen lips upturned into a shy grin.
“Just kiss me again, Luci.”
“Yes ma’am.” he replies.
The rest of the night is spent in intervals of kissing, with the promised shitty horror movies (”HOW DARE YOU CALL KRAMPUS SHITTY!”) playing in the background. He makes you both sandwiches after you separately...finish in his bathroom, and you cuddle up close to him as the opening sequence of “The Addams Family Values” plays.
“Yeah....I could get used to this.” you think again, as you fall asleep at Lucien’s side, face mashed against his chest.
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