#the god’s honest truth is that the pain was heaven —- OLIVER

[ofuntamedhearts]

@ofchaoticminds @lazarusweptt

Would you consider us adorable? No, we're adult men. We're cute.

[thesquireinvictus]

The Deserted Village BY OLIVER GOLDSMITH Sweet Auburn, loveliest village of the plain, Where health and plenty cheared the labouring swain, Where smiling spring its earliest visit paid, And parting summer's lingering blooms delayed, Dear lovely bowers of innocence and ease, Seats of my youth, when every sport could please, How often have I loitered o'er thy green, Where humble happiness endeared each scene! How often have I paused on every charm, The sheltered cot, the cultivated farm, The never-failing brook, the busy mill, The decent church that topt the neighbouring hill, The hawthorn bush, with seats beneath the shade, For talking age and whispering lovers made! How often have I blest the coming day, When toil remitting lent its turn to play, And all the village train, from labour free, Led up their sports beneath the spreading tree, While many a pastime circled in the shade, The young contending as the old surveyed; And many a gambol frolicked o'er the ground, And slights of art and feats of strength went round; And still as each repeated pleasure tired, Succeeding sports the mirthful band inspired; The dancing pair that simply sought renown By holding out to tire each other down; The swain mistrustless of his smutted face, While secret laughter tittered round the place; The bashful virgin's side-long looks of love, The matron's glance that would those looks reprove! These were thy charms, sweet village; sports like these, With sweet succession, taught even toil to please; These round thy bowers their chearful influence shed, These were thy charms—But all these charms are fled. Sweet smiling village, loveliest of the lawn, Thy sports are fled, and all thy charms withdrawn; Amidst thy bowers the tyrant's hand is seen, And desolation saddens all thy green: One only master grasps the whole domain, And half a tillage stints thy smiling plain; No more thy glassy brook reflects the day, But, choaked with sedges, works its weedy way; Along thy glades, a solitary guest, The hollow-sounding bittern guards its nest; Amidst thy desert walks the lapwing flies, And tires their echoes with unvaried cries. Sunk are thy bowers, in shapeless ruin all, And the long grass o'ertops the mouldering wall; And, trembling, shrinking from the spoiler's hand, Far, far away, thy children leave the land. Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a prey, Where wealth accumulates, and men decay: Princes and lords may flourish, or may fade; A breath can make them, as a breath has made; But a bold peasantry, their country's pride, When once destroyed, can never be supplied. A time there was, ere England's griefs began, When every rood of ground maintained its man; For him light labour spread her wholesome store, Just gave what life required, but gave no more: His best companions, innocence and health; And his best riches, ignorance of wealth. But times are altered; trade's unfeeling train Usurp the land and dispossess the swain; Along the lawn, where scattered hamlets rose, Unwieldy wealth and cumbrous pomp repose; And every want to oppulence allied, And every pang that folly pays to pride. Those gentle hours that plenty bade to bloom, Those calm desires that asked but little room, Those healthful sports that graced the peaceful scene, Lived in each look, and brightened all the green; These, far departing seek a kinder shore, And rural mirth and manners are no more. Sweet Auburn! parent of the blissful hour, Thy glades forlorn confess the tyrant's power. Here as I take my solitary rounds, Amidst thy tangling walks, and ruined grounds, And, many a year elapsed, return to view Where once the cottage stood, the hawthorn grew, Remembrance wakes with all her busy train, Swells at my breast, and turns the past to pain. In all my wanderings round this world of care, In all my griefs—and God has given my share— I still had hopes, my latest hours to crown, Amidst these humble bowers to lay me down; To husband out life's taper at the close, And keep the flame from wasting by repose. I still had hopes, for pride attends us still, Amidst the swains to shew my book-learned skill, Around my fire an evening groupe to draw, And tell of all I felt, and all I saw; And, as an hare whom hounds and horns pursue, Pants to the place from whence at first she flew, I still had hopes, my long vexations past, Here to return—and die at home at last. O blest retirement, friend to life's decline, Retreats from care that never must be mine, How happy he who crowns, in shades like these A youth of labour with an age of ease; Who quits a world where strong temptations try, And, since 'tis hard to combat, learns to fly! For him no wretches, born to work and weep, Explore the mine, or tempt the dangerous deep; No surly porter stands in guilty state To spurn imploring famine from the gate, But on he moves to meet his latter end, Angels around befriending virtue's friend; Bends to the grave with unperceived decay, While resignation gently slopes the way; And, all his prospects brightening to the last, His Heaven commences ere the world be past! Sweet was the sound, when oft at evening's close, Up yonder hill the village murmur rose; There, as I past with careless steps and slow, The mingling notes came soften'd from below; The swain responsive as the milk-maid sung, The sober herd that lowed to meet their young, The noisy geese that gabbled o'er the pool, The playful children just let loose from school, The watch-dog's voice that bayed the whispering wind, And the loud laugh that spoke the vacant mind, These all in sweet confusion sought the shade, And filled each pause the nightingale had made. But now the sounds of population fail, No cheerful murmurs fluctuate in the gale, No busy steps the grass-grown foot-way tread, For all the bloomy flush of life is fled. All but yon widowed, solitary thing That feebly bends beside the plashy spring; She, wretched matron, forced in age, for bread, To strip the brook with mantling cresses spread, To pick her wintry faggot from the thorn, To seek her nightly shed, and weep till morn; She only left of all the harmless train, The sad historian of the pensive plain. Near yonder copse, where once the garden smiled, And still where many a garden-flower grows wild; There, where a few torn shrubs the place disclose, The village preacher's modest mansion rose. A man he was, to all the country dear, And passing rich with forty pounds a year; Remote from towns he ran his godly race, Nor e'er had changed, nor wished to change his place; Unpractised he to fawn, or seek for power, By doctrines fashioned to the varying hour; Far other aims his heart had learned to prize, More skilled to raise the wretched than to rise. His house was known to all the vagrant train, He chid their wanderings but relieved their pain; The long-remembered beggar was his guest, Whose beard descending swept his aged breast; The ruined spendthrift, now no longer proud, Claim'd kindred there, and had his claims allowed; The broken soldier, kindly bade to stay, Sate by his fire, and talked the night away; Wept o'er his wounds, or, tales of sorrow done, Shouldered his crutch, and shewed how fields were won. Pleased with his guests, the good man learned to glow, And quite forgot their vices in their woe; Careless their merits, or their faults to scan, His pity gave ere charity began. Thus to relieve the wretched was his pride, And even his failings leaned to Virtue's side; But in his duty prompt at every call, He watched and wept, he prayed and felt, for all. And, as a bird each fond endearment tries, To tempt its new-fledged offspring to the skies; He tried each art, reproved each dull delay, Allured to brighter worlds, and led the way. Beside the bed where parting life was layed, And sorrow, guilt, and pain, by turns, dismayed The reverend champion stood. At his control Despair and anguish fled the struggling soul; Comfort came down the trembling wretch to raise, And his last faltering accents whispered praise. At church, with meek and unaffected grace, His looks adorned the venerable place; Truth from his lips prevailed with double sway, And fools, who came to scoff, remained to pray. The service past, around the pious man, With steady zeal, each honest rustic ran; Even children followed, with endearing wile, And plucked his gown, to share the good man's smile. His ready smile a parent's warmth exprest, Their welfare pleased him, and their cares distrest: To them his heart, his love, his griefs were given, But all his serious thoughts had rest in Heaven. As some tall cliff that lifts its awful form, Swells from the vale, and midway leaves the storm, Tho' round its breast the rolling clouds are spread, Eternal sunshine settles on its head. Beside yon straggling fence that skirts the way, With blossomed furze unprofitably gay, There, in his noisy mansion, skill'd to rule, The village master taught his little school; A man severe he was, and stern to view, I knew him well, and every truant knew; Well had the boding tremblers learned to trace The day's disasters in his morning face; Full well they laughed, with counterfeited glee, At all his jokes, for many a joke had he: Full well the busy whisper circling round, Conveyed the dismal tidings when he frowned; Yet he was kind, or if severe in aught, The love he bore to learning was in fault; The village all declared how much he knew; 'Twas certain he could write, and cypher too; Lands he could measure, terms and tides presage, And ev'n the story ran that he could gauge. In arguing too, the parson owned his skill, For even tho' vanquished, he could argue still; While words of learned length and thundering sound, Amazed the gazing rustics ranged around; And still they gazed, and still the wonder grew, That one small head could carry all he knew. But past is all his fame. The very spot Where many a time he triumphed, is forgot. Near yonder thorn, that lifts its head on high, Where once the sign-post caught the passing eye, Low lies that house where nut-brown draughts inspired, Where grey-beard mirth and smiling toil retired, Where village statesmen talked with looks profound, And news much older than their ale went round. Imagination fondly stoops to trace The parlour splendours of that festive place; The white-washed wall, the nicely sanded floor, The varnished clock that clicked behind the door; The chest contrived a double debt to pay, A bed by night, a chest of drawers by day; The pictures placed for ornament and use, The twelve good rules, the royal game of goose; The hearth, except when winter chill'd the day, With aspen boughs, and flowers, and fennel gay; While broken tea-cups, wisely kept for shew, Ranged o'er the chimney, glistened in a row. Vain transitory splendours! Could not all Reprieve the tottering mansion from its fall! Obscure it sinks, nor shall it more impart An hour's importance to the poor man's heart; Thither no more the peasant shall repair To sweet oblivion of his daily care; No more the farmer's news, the barber's tale, No more the woodman's ballad shall prevail; No more the smith his dusky brow shall clear, Relax his ponderous strength, and lean to hear; The host himself no longer shall be found Careful to see the mantling bliss go round; Nor the coy maid, half willing to be prest, Shall kiss the cup to pass it to the rest. Yes! let the rich deride, the proud disdain, These simple blessings of the lowly train; To me more dear, congenial to my heart, One native charm, than all the gloss of art; Spontaneous joys, where Nature has its play, The soul adopts, and owns their first-born sway; Lightly they frolic o'er the vacant mind, Unenvied, unmolested, unconfined. But the long pomp, the midnight masquerade, With all the freaks of wanton wealth arrayed, In these, ere triflers half their wish obtain, The toiling pleasure sickens into pain; And, even while fashion's brightest arts decoy, The heart distrusting asks, if this be joy. Ye friends to truth, ye statesmen who survey The rich man's joys encrease, the poor's decay, 'Tis yours to judge, how wide the limits stand Between a splendid and a happy land. Proud swells the tide with loads of freighted ore, And shouting Folly hails them from her shore; Hoards even beyond the miser's wish abound, And rich men flock from all the world around. Yet count our gains. This wealth is but a name That leaves our useful products still the same. Not so the loss. The man of wealth and pride Takes up a space that many poor supplied; Space for his lake, his park's extended bounds, Space for his horses, equipage, and hounds: The robe that wraps his limbs in silken sloth, Has robbed the neighbouring fields of half their growth; His seat, where solitary sports are seen, Indignant spurns the cottage from the green: Around the world each needful product flies, For all the luxuries the world supplies. While thus the land adorned for pleasure, all In barren splendour feebly waits the fall. As some fair female unadorned and plain, Secure to please while youth confirms her reign, Slights every borrowed charm that dress supplies, Nor shares with art the triumph of her eyes. But when those charms are past, for charms are frail, When time advances, and when lovers fail, She then shines forth, solicitous to bless, In all the glaring impotence of dress. Thus fares the land, by luxury betrayed: In nature's simplest charms at first arrayed; But verging to decline, its splendours rise, Its vistas strike, its palaces surprize; While, scourged by famine from the smiling land, The mournful peasant leads his humble band; And while he sinks, without one arm to save, The country blooms—a garden, and a grave. Where then, ah where, shall poverty reside, To scape the pressure of contiguous pride? If to some common's fenceless limits strayed, He drives his flock to pick the scanty blade, Those fenceless fields the sons of wealth divide, And ev'n the bare-worn common is denied. If to the city sped—What waits him there? To see profusion that he must not share; To see ten thousand baneful arts combined To pamper luxury, and thin mankind; To see those joys the sons of pleasure know, Extorted from his fellow-creature's woe. Here while the courtier glitters in brocade, There the pale artist plies the sickly trade; Here while the proud their long-drawn pomps display, There the black gibbet glooms beside the way. The dome where Pleasure holds her midnight reign, Here, richly deckt, admits the gorgeous train; Tumultuous grandeur crowds the blazing square, The rattling chariots clash, the torches glare. Sure scenes like these no troubles e'er annoy! Sure these denote one universal joy! Are these thy serious thoughts?—Ah, turn thine eyes Where the poor houseless shivering female lies. She once, perhaps, in village plenty blest, Has wept at tales of innocence distrest; Her modest looks the cottage might adorn Sweet as the primrose peeps beneath the thorn: Now lost to all; her friends, her virtue fled, Near her betrayer's door she lays her head, And, pinch'd with cold, and shrinking from the shower, With heavy heart deplores that luckless hour When idly first, ambitious of the town, She left her wheel and robes of country brown. Do thine, sweet Auburn, thine, the loveliest train, Do thy fair tribes participate her pain? Even now, perhaps, by cold and hunger led, At proud men's doors they ask a little bread! Ah, no. To distant climes, a dreary scene, Where half the convex world intrudes between, Through torrid tracts with fainting steps they go, Where wild Altama murmurs to their woe. Far different there from all that charm'd before, The various terrors of that horrid shore; Those blazing suns that dart a downward ray, And fiercely shed intolerable day; Those matted woods where birds forget to sing, But silent bats in drowsy clusters cling; Those poisonous fields with rank luxuriance crowned, Where the dark scorpion gathers death around; Where at each step the stranger fears to wake The rattling terrors of the vengeful snake; Where crouching tigers wait their hapless prey, And savage men, more murderous still than they; While oft in whirls the mad tornado flies, Mingling the ravaged landscape with the skies. Far different these from every former scene, The cooling brook, the grassy vested green, The breezy covert of the warbling grove, That only shelter'd thefts of harmless love. Good Heaven! what sorrows gloom'd that parting day, That called them from their native walks away; When the poor exiles, every pleasure past, Hung round their bowers, and fondly looked their last, And took a long farewell, and wished in vain For seats like these beyond the western main; And shuddering still to face the distant deep, Returned and wept, and still returned to weep. The good old sire the first prepared to go To new found worlds, and wept for others woe. But for himself, in conscious virtue brave, He only wished for worlds beyond the grave. His lovely daughter, lovelier in her tears, The fond companion of his helpless years, Silent went next, neglectful of her charms, And left a lover's for a father's arms. With louder plaints the mother spoke her woes, And blessed the cot where every pleasure rose; And kist her thoughtless babes with many a tear, And claspt them close, in sorrow doubly dear; Whilst her fond husband strove to lend relief In all the silent manliness of grief. O luxury! thou curst by Heaven's decree, How ill exchanged are things like these for thee! How do thy potions, with insidious joy, Diffuse their pleasures only to destroy! Kingdoms, by thee, to sickly greatness grown, Boast of a florid vigour not their own; At every draught more large and large they grow, A bloated mass of rank unwieldy woe; Till sapped their strength, and every part unsound, Down, down they sink, and spread a ruin round. Even now the devastation is begun, And half the business of destruction done; Even now, methinks, as pondering here I stand, I see the rural virtues leave the land: Down where yon anchoring vessel spreads the sail, That idly waiting flaps with every gale, Downward they move, a melancholy band, Pass from the shore, and darken all the strand. Contented toil, and hospitable care, And kind connubial tenderness, are there; And piety with wishes placed above, And steady loyalty, and faithful love. And thou, sweet Poetry, thou loveliest maid, Still first to fly where sensual joys invade; Unfit in these degenerate times of shame, To catch the heart, or strike for honest fame; Dear charming nymph, neglected and decried, My shame in crowds, my solitary pride; Thou source of all my bliss, and all my woe, That found'st me poor at first, and keep'st me so; Thou guide by which the nobler arts excell, Thou nurse of every virtue, fare thee well! Farewell, and O where'er thy voice be tried, On Torno's cliffs, or Pambamarca's side, Whether were equinoctial fervours glow, Or winter wraps the polar world in snow, Still let thy voice, prevailing over time, Redress the rigours of the inclement clime; Aid slighted truth with thy persuasive strain, Teach erring man to spurn the rage of gain; Teach him, that states of native strength possest, Tho' very poor, may still be very blest; That trade's proud empire hastes to swift decay, As ocean sweeps the labour'd mole away; While self-dependent power can time defy, As rocks resist the billows and the sky.

[tyrannoninja]

Excerpt from “Priestess of the Lost Colony”

The following is an excerpted chapter from my upcoming novel Priestess of the Lost Colony. More information about the book can be found on my official website.

No torches burned inside the tunnel beneath the temple of Mut. Only the brazier Bek carried behind her drove back the blackness, and it was dimming with every passing second. Itawaret occasionally paused to search the floor for branches that she could toss into the brazier, but found nothing but cold and damp stone.  

Finally, they reached a rectangular outline of light at the tunnel’s end. By the mercy of fate, the pair had not stumbled into any booby-traps, nor run into any dead ends branching off from the main passage. While dark, the journey was not as perilous as Itaweret had feared…

Hopefully, it would stay that way.

“How do you know this doesn’t lead to a trap?” Bek asked.

“Think about it. Why would Mut lead us into a trap? Don’t you trust her enough, brother?”

“Assuming that was Mut speaking to us. What if it was that Achaean demon she talked about, that Athena?”

Itaweret fought hard within herself to ignore him, and the possibility he raised. It was a valid point, if she were honest with herself, but it seemed unlikely that an Achaean deity like Athena could penetrate the sanctum of Mut. At least she hoped so. And hope was all they had left.

Itawaret walked up to the rectangle of light and pressed her shoulder against the surface, feeling the same cool stone texture as the tunnel’s walls. She pushed all her strength onto the door, groaning from exertion and the exhausting day, until it fell forward with a hard thud and crumbled outside.

A flood of daylight blinded her. Once her eyes readjusted from the subterranean darkness, she found herself on the summit of a grassy hill that sloped into a gravelly beach beside the sea. The setting sun gilded the crests of the waves, but the colors of the sky graded ominously, from dark red to black. Itaweret wrinkled her nose from the smell of smoke and burnt flesh.

Behind the hill, the city in which she had lived her entire life bloomed into a colossal inferno of flame. The fires that roared on rooftops, together with thick black rivers of smoke, obscured any sight of the carnage that, she realized, must have clogged and already begun to rot over the streets. Still, she could make out a stream of people being herded out through the city gate, prodded along by Mycenaeans in their bronze suits.

They were her fellow citizens of Per-Pehu. Her people, friends and neighbors, reduced to human livestock in one evening.

“How dare they!” Bek shook his fist while watching what she watched, quaking with rage. “We’ve got to do something!”

“We will, brother. We wouldn’t be out here if we weren’t going to do something about it. But we cannot fight now. Come on!”

She took his hand. They descended the hill to a dirt path that meandered northeastward. The cover of the olive and cypress trees alongside it, together with shadows that grew darker with each passing minute, would conceal them from any prowling Mycenaeans.

She hoped.

Less than two hours later, the scarlet heavens faded into blackness almost as pure as that within the tunnel. Now their only light was the half-moon and dusting of tiny stars around it, giving off a faint white glow reflected upon the vegetation and stones. Itaweret huddled close to Bek as they hiked up the path through the foothills, pausing only to pick up sticks to feed the fire in the brazier. If there was one thing to praise the wilderness for, it was an abundance of cheap firewood.

They ascended higher into the hills, climbing until the open, scrubby landscape of the low plains gave way to oak and pine forests that girdled the mountains. They climbed over fallen logs and boulders strewn about with increasing density. If walking uphill had not already worn away at the strength in their legs, maneuvering around these obstacles in the terrain taxed their muscles to aching even more.

Underneath the soft fragrance of the pines, Itaweret’s nostrils flared, capturing another odor, more rancid and unpleasant. She traced the scent to the gleaming, red-spattered bones of a lamb, flies buzzing around the few scraps of meat that clung to it. She had seen cattle and goats sacrificed to the gods in the temple complex at Per-Pehu, but never witnessed their gory remains in a state like this. The sight almost shoved her last meal from her stomach into her throat.

“How could this have died?” she asked.

Bek crouched over the bones and ran his finger over one of five parallel scars raked across the ribcage. He pointed to a weathered impression in the nearby earth, broader than a human hand, with claw marks sticking out before each of its five toes.

“I would have guessed a lion, but cats in general don’t leave prints like this,” Bek said. “Normally they retract their claws, so they wouldn’t show like they do here.”

“Could it be a dog?” Itaweret asked. “Or a jackal? Or one of those gray monsters the Achaeans call wolves?”

Bek shook his head. “Much, much too big for any of those. Truth be told, I have no idea. It must be a kind of monster we’ve never seen in our lives.”

Back home, everyone inside Per-Pehu’s walls had heard travelers’ stories of the beasts that roamed the wilds beyond the colony. Some spoke of cannibalistic men with singular eyes or the heads of bulls, giant swamp-dwelling serpents, or fire-breathing creatures that were part goat, part lion, and part snake. Itaweret had always considered the descriptions too ridiculous to be real. More frightening were the accounts of hulking beasts with dog-like faces and claws like knives, giant cats with dagger-long fangs, and ill-tempered elephants covered in shaggy hair. Those stories sounded almost truthful.

Itaweret wrung her hands around Mut’s scepter, shivering with a dread colder than the nocturnal air itself. “Do you know whether it could be nearby?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Bek said. “The tracks are a little worn. It could have left here hours or even a day ago.”

Two glowing specks of yellow blinked behind a nearby patch of bushes. Leaves rustled and branches snapped as the specks drifted towards them. The furry outline of a thick, stocky body gleamed from the brazier’s firelight. The creature’s snout was long like a dog’s, but its ears were smaller and more rounded. As it panted and grunted, it exuded the same stink of decayed flesh as the sheep carcass.

Itaweret took a step back from the lumbering animal. “What do they call things like that?”

“A bear, I believe,” Bek whispered. “Stand your ground. That could scare him off.”

Itaweret forced herself to stay put and waved the scepter of Mut like a warrior’s staff as Bek shook the brazier back and forth at the beast. Rearing ten feet into the air on its hind feet, the bear curled its lips back, exposing pointed canines. It uncorked a menacing roar while brandishing clawed forepaws.

With a single swat, the bear knocked Itaweret’s scepter out of her hands. She jumped to grab it, but the bear seized the scepter in its mouth and tossed it into the darkness. It swiped at her bosom, raking through her linen cloth and skin with its claws. Sharp pain swept through her chest as she collapsed to the ground.

Bek thrust his brazier again, the heated ash landing on the bear’s backside. Now aggravated, the the bear turned away from Itaweret, roared, and charged him. The bear’s attack on Bek gave her enough time to crawl over and retrieve her scepter. Just as the bear was about to punch the brazier out of Bek’s grasp, she chucked the scepter into its shoulder.

Her blow distracted the beast for another second. Then it swung around and barreled towards her again. She had no another weapon to beat it aside.

Another roar followed.

All the children of Kemet could recognize that deep feline roar. Along with it appeared a pair of yellow eyes, set in a bright tawny form. The feline sprang from the blackness and landed on the bear. The two creatures rolled in the dirt in a chaotic melee of biting and slashing.

The battle ended with the crackle of bone. The bear fell limp, a river of blood gushing from its neck, and more blood spilling from slashing cuts all over its body. The bear’s slayer stood over it, roaring with a savage exultation.

Itawaret and Bek looked upon the largest lion they had ever seen, one with a thick dark mane and faint leopard-like spots on its flanks. She had heard stories of giant spotted lions roaming the countries north of the Great Green Sea, but according to those same stories, they’d died out. Was this the very last, or did it have a whole pride behind it? If the latter, would they be seeking dinner?

Itaweret could only hope the bear’s big and meaty carcass would take their mind off she and Bek.

Then, a voice, a proud voice: “That’s a good boy, Xiphos!”

A young Achaean man in a simple wool tunic walked toward them, carrying a wooden shepherd’s crook. He stroked the lion’s mane as if it were a tame dog, while the big cat gorged itself on the dead bear. Much to Itaweret’s surprise, the lion tolerated the boy’s touch, rather than fending him off like any truly wild animal.

Itawaret brushed droplets of blood off her clothing and jewelry. “Xiphos? Is he your pet or something?”

“My father brought him in when he was a cub,” the Achaean youth said. “No need to fear him, my lady. He’s as gentle as a puppy unless you piss him off. Are you folks all right? It’s not every day we have black people come to these parts.”

“Why do you call us ‘black’ people?” Bek asked. “Our people are various shades of brown, some of us darker than others. If we are ‘black’, would that make you, what, ‘white’?”

The Achaean chuckled. “No use arguing over what we call each other. Trust me, I’ve heard far nastier names for your kind of people. Name’s Philos. And you two?”

Itaweret did not want to know those “nastier” names. “I am Itaweret, High Priestess of Mut from Per-Pehu. And this is my brother Bek, son of the Great Chief Mahu.”

“Aye, so you’re from the colony over the hills.” Philos looked up and down Itaweret’s body, his eyes following her contours in much the same gazing way as Scylax of Mycenae. “And, by Aphrodite, are you fine to look at, scratches and all! Nice curves, especially.”

Itaweret shook her head and grumbled. Achaean or Kemetian, white or black, men were all the same. Though she had to admit, the muscular young Achaean, with his flowing long black hair, wasn’t a wholly unattractive specimen.

“Anyway, either of you wouldn’t have seen a little ewe around these parts, would you?” Philos asked.

“We saw a sheep’s skeleton,” Bek replied. “We think the bear ate it sometime back.”

“Hades be damned, then! Xiphos and I have been looking for her the past couple of days. At least she was only one ewe. So, what are you two Kemetians doing out here?”

“In case you haven’t heard, Per-Pehu has been brutally sacked by King Scylax of Mycenae,” Itaweret said. “Our goddess Mut has sent us a quest northeast, one that will lead to Scylax’s defeat. We hope it does, anyway. She told us that we would find our answer in the first village over the mountains.”

Philos scratched his hair. “By Zeus, that’s my village! I don’t know why we’d know how to beat the king of Mycenae, out of all people in the world. But, if your goddess says so, I ought to help you the best I can.”

“How far is your village, anyway?”

“A few more hills to the east. But we ought to rest here for the night. Xiphos doesn’t like being dragged away from his meals, and I think we’re all damned tired anyway.”

Bek yawned. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

Itaweret nodded. Almost every muscle burned from straining, even beyond her wounds from the bear’s attack. Her stomach groaned with hunger. Once the lion filled himself, she wouldn’t mind cooking leftovers of the bear over a fire lit by Bek’s brazier. Never before had she eaten bear meat, but food was food in uncivilized places.

She looked up at the treeline, and caught the flicker of little eyes. They weren’t the yellow eyes of a bear, lion or other predator, but silver-gray eyes… familiar eyes.

She blinked. The eyes were gone.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

TV Review: Crisis on Infinite Earths (Spoilers)

Part 3: The Flash

Spoiler Warning:

Overview:

Okay, now that is how you do a cliffhanger! While this crossover may not be delivering on a couple of really built up plot points, I’m talking 5 year build-up, as a whole the episode has still managed to kick the gear up and, quite fittingly being The Flash episode, accelerated the story and the anticipation for what is to come in the two-part finalé next month.

But with all but several individuals remaining in reality, is it really down to seven Paragons to save the Multiverse?

Vibe Returns:

I can’t decide whether I’m thrilled or annoyed Cisco has his Metahuman powers back, because whether or not he wanted them...let’s face it he didn’t, he now has them and I don’t think they’re going anyway.

On the plus side, I am happy with this as it gives him something to do, I mean seriously if you’re just going to have a non-powered tech whiz, bring back Felicity Smoak. Cisco is Vibe and he should always be Vibe.

Also he didn’t seem to contribute much to the science in this episode, I mean okay he seemingly helped Ray with his Paragon Detector when Team Flash arrived, who by the way contributed nothing in their own episode as a whole, but even when they were down in the Anti-Monitor’s lair...the reason for him to have his powers back was simply to open the door? Because he didn’t contribute any assistance in destroying the Antimatter Speed Cannon.

I am still waiting to see what The Monitor’s dynastic plan is for bestowing Vibe with his powers again because, we know he’s not a Paragon and as I said all he did was open a door.

I don’t know whether or not Carlos Valdes has served his purpose in the Arrowverse and after de-powering should have simply left last season, but I don’t really see a use for him anymore.

A Flash of Black Lightning:

Alright so Flash, Vibe and Frost go to the Anti-Monitor’s lair where Pariah arrives to bare witness to great pain because that is his job now.

It’s not until we get into the lair that we realise what this great pain is because it is revealed that powering the Antimatter Speed Cannon is The Flash...of Earth-90. John Wesley-Shipp is back after randomly disappearing during Elseworlds but I choose to believe it was for this purpose.

Barry saves Earth-90 Flash from the treadmill of torture but the Anti-Monitor has a fail safe of simply having the cannon blow up wiping out reality instantly if no one is powering it, this leads to what could have been quite an emotional moment had I not predicted the outcome as soon as we saw who was originally on the treadmill.

So Earth-1 Barry sees this moment as his time to “Vanish in Crisis” by reversing the speed of the treadmill thereby destroying the cannon.

While this is going on, Pariah brings in Jefferson Pierce aka Black Lightning from “His Earth”...despite being on the same network his is the only Earth we don’t get a number for...and to temporarily prevent the cannon from blowing up and wiping out reality, he is instructed to either absorb the energy or stabilise it.

As Earth-1 Barry says his “emotional” farewells to Cisco and Caitlin, Earth-90 Barry seizes the opportunity to temporarily steal his speed so that he can be the one to return to the treadmill and “Vanish” stopping the Antimatter...because as he pointed out that newspaper article that we have seen now for 5 years and been reminded of constantly said “The Flash Vanishes in Crisis”, it didn’t say which one...

I call bull! I am sorry but they built this moment up for 5.5 seasons, numerous mentions and the last half a season has been all about the emotion of Barry destined to die in Crisis...yet now he doesn’t die and John Wesley-Shipp’s version who has only been in it once before does?

This “emotional” moment of Earth-90 Barry remembering his wife Tina with a clip from the 90s Flash series was only serving to those who remember that series and as someone who was born a year after it finished I have to say I did not. I contemplated it after the crossover last year but decided not to.

So Earth-90 Flash is now dead and was the prophesied one who “Vanishes in Crisis”, Earth-1 Flash reunites with Iris and Black Lightning joins the crusade.

Dealings With the Devil:

Meanwhile Diggle finally learns that Oliver died and was brought back by the Lazarus Pit as well as Lyla going missing and the need to find Oliver’s soul...because you miss out on two episodes and suddenly you’re out of the loop.

He, Mia and Constantine travel to Earth-666 in the City of Angels Los Angeles, why? Well it seems Tom Ellis is a rather good liar despite his character never lying because Constantine is acquainted with none other than Lucifer Morningstar.

Now I saw an interview just after watching this episode that Tom Ellis did with ET which I will link to here, basically how they’ve made up for the fact that Lucifer is supposed to be ruling hell is that where we meet Lucifer here is during that 5-year period before the start of Season 1 of Lucifer and before he meets Chloe Decker and starts working for the LAPD.

Anyone thinking this is simply a Lucifer doppelganger is incorrect because while there can be doppelgangers of Earths, Humans and Aliens, there is only one Heaven, one Hell, one Limbo, one God and one Devil just as there is only one Monitor and one Anti-Monitor. 

Lucifer presents Constantine with a tarot card which grants temporary passage to Limbo but expires quickly which would damn the users souls for all eternity. Oliver’s purgatory is, surprise surprise, a version of Lian Yu and when the trio reunite with Oliver it is Diggle that breaks through to him.

The only issue with bringing him back however is that a new player appears Jim Corrigan, now as Constantine points out this is not Earth-1 Jim Corrigan as that is Emmett J. Scanlan from Constantine and you don’t mess with Scanlan...although it would have been cool to see Lobo in some form here.

No, this is Stephen Lobo...ironic...and he has become The Spectre...who I know absolutely nothing about other than Corrigan is the first of three hosts of Spectre in the comics with the other two being Hal Jordan and Crispus Allen and that one of his enemies is the Anti-Monitor.

However, Lobo seemingly passes on the Spectre to Oliver through a flashing eye sequence and the trio who risked their souls to come and save his vanish leaving Oliver to wander off with Corrigan...what does this mean? We shall find out hopefully.

Paragon Peril:

Alright so, I have no clue how to feel about the Paragons, I said I would wait to make up my mind until all seven had been revealed and now they have.

In addition to the Paragons of Hope, Courage, Truth and Destiny being Supergirl, Batwoman, KC Superman and Sara, Ray’s Paragon Detector reveals that the Paragon of Honor is Martian Manhunter, the Paragon of Love is Earth-1 Flash and the Paragon of Humanity is Ryan Choi...who?

I will get to him shortly but I want to point out that Mar Novu in his rather expositiony voice stated “These Paragons are spread across the Multiverse”...well his dress is clearly on too tight because four of these Paragons are from Earth-1, two are from Earth-38 and one is from Earth-96...how far spread is that exactly?

As for Ryan Choi, who lives in Earth-1 Ivy Town, all I know about him in the comics is that he is the second Atom and an admirer of Ray Palmer. I know him best from Injustice 2 and to be honest think as much of him as I do Ray so...not a lot.

Also the fact he has a wife and daughter reminds me too much of Scott Lang’s Ant-Man, He doesn’t even have a family in the mainstream comics and the fact this is one comparison where Marvel did it first it’s annoying.

My other note is I know Ray is at least stepping down as a main character in Legends of Tomorrow this season, so if they’re setting up Ryan to be the new Atom they’re going to need to establish his likeability a whole lot better.

Anyway, Iris, Ray and Elongated Man...because he needs something to do, go and recruit Ryan Choi who only agrees after Iris reasons with him on a human scale.

Back at the Waverider, everyone reunites as Barry, Cisco and Frost return to inform them all that Earth-90 Flash saved the remainder of the Multiverse, Earth-1, by sacrificing himself. KC Superman has been trying to save other Earths but failing, Constantine, Mia and Diggle return to tell everyone they failed and the attention turns to the fact they now have all seven Paragons.

However, this is where it gets interesting!

So Lyla/Harbinger has been missing all episode and we as fans know she’s with the Anti-Monitor. When she does eventually appear on the Waverider she originally seems to be fine...but then it goes horribly wrong as she is revealed to have been taken over by the Anti-Monitor and, just like in the comics, kills Mar Novu and uses the energy from that to wipe out the rest of reality.

But just before his death, Mar Novu encourage Pariah that this is what he is truly meant for and Pariah discovers he has the ability to transport all seven Paragons to a place the Anti-Monitor cannot reach, the Vanishing Point.

So the seven chosen are saved while everyone on board the Waverider is obliterated. But then it gets even twistier as it is revealed that while in possession of the Book of Destiny, Lex Luthor foresaw the seven Paragons in a safe space and so decided to rewrite himself as the Paragon of Truth which causes KC Superman to switch places with him...meaning Lex Luthor is now the Paragon of Truth...

So just to clarify that is now 4 Paragons from Earth-1 and 3 from Earth-38...the main Earths heavily featured in the Arrowverse in a crossover that features literally every DC Continuity in film and TV...can you see why this plot point pisses me off yet?

This is the cliffhanger we are now left on until June 14 when Arrow and DC’s Legends of Tomorrow return, all I can say I hope for right now regardless of the outcome is that we see Martian Manhunter actually be Martian Manhunter because so far in this crossover I have just seen John Jones/Hank Henshaw.

So that’s my review of Crisis on Infinite Earths: The Flash, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more DC TV Reviews as well as other TV Reviews and posts.

[dailyaudiobible]

02/01/2020 DAB Transcript

Exodus 13:17-15:18, Matthew 21:23-46, Psalms 26:1-12, Proverbs 6:16-19

Today is the 1st day of February, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian. So, as we close a week, we begin the second month of the year and what a joy it is to have made it this far on the journey with you settling into a rhythm now that will carry us all the way through this year together but all the way through the Bible as well. And probably after a month we, you know, if…if…it's been a daily rhythm for a month we can see…we can see why the Bible matters, how interesting it is and how deeply it can touch our lives and bring truth into our souls. So, great to be here with you on this first day of the new month. It’s the same week, so we’ve been reading from Evangelical Heritage Version this week, which is what we’ll do today. And the children of Israel in the book of Exodus have exited Egypt and their enslavement and that is kind of the point at which they’re adventure begins. And, so, we are right at the beginning of the…of the next era with the children of Israel. Exodus chapter 13 verse 17 through 15 verse 18 today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You, we thank You for bringing us across the threshold and into the second month of the year. We thank You for the life that You've given us. We thank You for the journey that we are on together as we continue to allow Your word to speak into our hearts. We thank You for the month of January and all that You have begun to do inside of us because of that month. And, so we set our sights before us into this month that we are about to live, and we realize that we are at this threshold. In this second month that story has not yet been told. And day by day step-by-step choice by choice we will write the story of that month and we invite Your Holy Spirit to permeate it. We pray that on every page that we would write that Your name would be in every sentence and paragraph, in every thought word and deed of our lives in this coming month. May we honor You. Come, Holy Spirit we pray we pray. We love You, we worship You, we pray these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the web site, its where you find out what’s going on around here. So, stay tuned and stay connected. The Prayer Wall lives at dailyaudiobible.com. You can access it using the Daily Audio Bible app, but that is a fantastic resource if you're shouldering burdens you shouldn't carry alone or you just want to help, you just…you just want to pray for your brothers and sisters and stay connected in Spirit. That’s a fantastic resource.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. There’s a link, it’s on the homepage. Thank you profoundly for your partnership. I am…words…words are not…I mean…words…the…I just don't have the vocabulary. I’m in awe of what God has done and I’m grateful beyond words that…that each day we can meet here like this. And, so, thank you for your partnership. So, there’s a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address if you prefer is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request a comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here next week, which happens to be tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi DAB family this is Daniel in Florida I’m calling today for prayer and healing for my marriage of 24 years. I’ve been a terribly selfish husband throughout our relationship, and I have trouble with lying to her. She is such a beautiful and wonderful caring woman. My lying is putting great stress on her and breaking her heart. I don’t know why I lie to her and is always about my things, but I know I need to stop. I need her forgiveness and I need to start rebuilding her trust. She’s the only woman I want to be with, and the one God gave just for me. I’m, self-sabotaging my relationship. Please pray that I don’t lie to her and she can forgive give me and let me start rebuilding her trust again. Thanks.

Hello, my name is Charisse I’m a woman of God and I’ve just had tragedy in my life. I’m in the hospital right now. I had a car accident on January 6th and I lost my husband. We left behind two little __ two twins nine months __ years old, nine months Augustine and Constantine and a __ is __. __ and he is such a good soul. His name is __. I had to have three surgeries. I broke my femur, ruptured spleen and my pelvis. I’m asking for strength to get through my physical therapy so I can get home to my children and the long journey of…of healing because of my sorrow. I’m only 32 years old and my husband was 32 years old also. I’m only on January 8th Daily Audio Bible and I’ve been listening for about six months now. Thank you for your prayers.

Hi, DABbers it’s Carla Jean in Las Vegas calling to thank all of you who have reached out to me and prayed for me following by call about my son Noah and my situation for the last six months or so. But tonight, I’m calling to pray for others. Brian, I heard your call about being severely depressed and having anxiety. Please know that God is not far away from you. He’s right there. Diana Davis I’m praying for you and your family. We are storming heaven for Almighty healing, and I pray for your sons as well. Harold I just loved your call. It uplifted me. It reminded me what I love about the DAB family and I’m glad you joined our family. Michael you have a daughter in Texas that has cancer. I’m praying for her as well. Heather you said you were consumed by fear that you’re so very tired. Reach out to the Lord. We are reaching out to Him on your behalf. God’s Smile I just want to thank you. Every time you call, I smile. So, thank you so much. Annette in Oklahoma City, same thing. When I hear your voice it just brings me great joy. Slave of Jesus you brought me to tears with your prayers for Diana Davis today. Thank you brother and I pray for your protection as well while you’re in the Middle East. Diane Olive Brown I know your dad’s funeral is tomorrow. Please know that I’m covering you in prayer. I love the reading that you’re going to be reading. Nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus the Lord. That’s my prayer for all of us. I love you my DAB family. Thank you, Brian so much.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible my name is Soraya and I am…I’m in __, a small town near Barcelona Spain and I am, calling to pray for Brent from Ohio and my prayer is not only for the Lord to deliver him from the addiction of pain medication but also for him to grow closer to the Lord and to find strength in the presence of the Lord. And it’s just like Psalm 121 says, that the Lord doesn’t sleep just to save you from the harsh…harshness of the sun and the moon. And I pray that you can find comfort in knowing that there is a God. There is the one and only God who watches over you and over your sleep, that He sees you, that the God of __ that saw her in her suffering sees you Brent in your addiction and your pain and may you then find courage and strength in that and the daily word to do your part. The Lord will do you His part because He is faithful, and He is good. So, I pray that you also are encouraged by the many testimonies in this community ass many of us that have overcome addiction, broken marriages, and deaths, illnesses. So, please know that it is possible, that it is possible with the grace and powerful hand of the Holy Spirit for you to overcome this addiction. This addiction does not define you, but rather you have hope in the Lord Jesus in the powerful hand of the Holy Spirit. I will continue to pray for you Brent from Ohio. Thank you and have a…

Hi, this is Rebecca from California. My sweet dad went to be with Jesus November 25, 2019. He was a regular listener of Daily Audio Bible and we had sweet times together listening as I’d care for him. And it was so many special memories listening to the Daily Audio Bible with my dad. At night when he couldn’t sleep, we’d put on the Daily Audio Bible again and we’d listen to it to give him peace of mind and just dwell on God’s word and it would often just cause him to be to relax and rest. I thank you Brian for this ministry. I continue to listen and have been for several years and I will always think of my dad and the time together. And I thank you that he’s rejoicing in heaven and that we have this special time listening to God’s word together. Thank you for blessing us with that. It was such a blessing to have you reading when I couldn’t and to have that…God’s word washing over us in the middle of the night. And I know my dad loved Jesus so much, he loved of the Daily Audio Bible, he loved the community and the Prayer Wall And, I know that many of you who didn’t know him will see him in heaven when we all get there. Thank you and God bless you.

Hi this is Asia from Chicago I’m calling in today for Brent. He called in about having pain medication addiction. So, I just wanted to say Brent, dude, it is so great that you have called in and asked for help. That is the first step in recovery, is admitting that you have an addiction. And, so, I’m so proud of you and God sees you in that and sees your heart and wanting to change. So, I just pray that whatever pain you are relieving, whatever need you have that is making you numb it with that euphoria, I just pray that you would be able to be honest with yourself on whatever deep root issue is there, whether it be maybe pain from parent or pain from some loss in your life. Your heart and your body are trying to grieve those losses and sometimes it’s so much more painful to come face to face with that pain and so we self-medicate but I promise you bother from my experience with depression and anxiety it’s only from coming face-to-face with the root problems, grieving those pains, that we are able to truly let them go and become a renewed, transformed, healthier version. So, I’m praying for you brother. I love you. I know it’s so hard. You’re so hard on yourself. Give yourself some grace and take it one day at a time. Look for resources like Narcotics Anonymous. They are such a helpful resource. So, I’m praying for you and I love you. Praying for your wife as well. This is Asia from Chicago. Love you guys. Love you Brent. Bye.

Father, empty me of me and fill me up with all that is thee the sun is shining very bright and I sleep serenely through the night every day I seek your face and ask you God to take your place as Lord and Master in my heart keeping me and sin far apart rescue me from self and stress and help me give my very best walking strong and unafraid and thanking you for all the progress made

blindtony1016@gmail.com. Like to give a shout out to Drew from the bay area. Hope you’re still hanging in there. Know your loved and thought of and Egbert Lopez and Tracy Baker. Both of you, know you’re in my prayers daily and thought of all the time. Hope you’re all well. And once again Brian and the Hardin family, thank you for this wonderful podcast for God’s Holy Spirit to flow. Keep it flowin’ y’all. All right. Bye-bye.

Hi y’all my needs Devon and I’m a missionary in Mozambique Africa. I just wanted to thank Daily Audio Bible for what they do is help me tremendously just to be able to, while I’m out working, well I’m out you know doing…doing what I do, to be able to just listen to God’s word. So, I just wanted to thank y’all and I just wanted to ask if y’all would pray that God would just continue to move in Mozambique just the way He has been moving that He would continue to move and continue to just rain down His presence and His grace and mercy on this country. Thanks. Love you all. Have a great day.

[dfroza]

Today’s reading from the ancient book of Proverbs and book of Psalms

for August 10 of 2021 with Proverbs 10 and Psalm 10, accompanied by Psalm 52 for the 52nd day of Astronomical Summer and Psalm 72 for day 222 of the year (now with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

[Proverbs 10]

The proverbs of Solomon:

A wise son makes his father glad,

but a foolish one fills his mother with sorrow.

Riches gained through dishonest means will eventually vanish,

but doing what is right avoids a deadly consequence.

The Eternal does not allow the right-living to go hungry,

but He will frustrate the plans of the wicked.

A slack hand produces nothing but poverty,

but an industrious hand soon takes hold of riches.

A wise son stores up for the winter months while it is still summer,

but a shameful son lies around even during the harvest.

Blessings come to those who do what is right,

but words spoken by the wicked cover up violent schemes.

The memory of one who lived with integrity brings joy,

but the legacy of a wrongdoer will rot away.

The wise at heart will gladly obey direction,

but one who fills the air with meaningless talk will fall into ruin.

The path of integrity is always safe,

but a person who follows a crooked way will be exposed.

Whoever winks his eye signals trouble,

and whoever fills the air with meaningless talk will fall into ruin.

The mouth of the righteous is a spring of life,

but words spoken by the wicked cover up violent schemes.

Hatred fuels dissension,

but love calms all rebellions.

Wisdom lives where insightful words are spoken,

but harsh punishment awaits the senseless.

The wise store up knowledge as a safeguard,

but the meaningless chatter of fools means that chaos is near.

The wealth of the rich is their powerful fortress;

the poverty of the poor reduces them to rubble.

The reward of those who do right is a satisfied life,

but the profits gained by those who do wrong is used to sin.

Those who accept instruction are travelers on the road to a meaningful life,

but those who refuse correction wander off and pave a path to ruin.

Lips that lie cover deep-seated hatred,

and whoever spreads a libelous rumor is acting as a fool.

The more you talk, the more likely you will cross the line and say the wrong thing;

but if you are wise, you’ll speak less and with restraint.

The speech of those who do right is of greater value than the finest silver,

but the thoughts of wrongdoers are worthless.

The right-living teach many,

but fools die with no clue how to live well.

The blessing of the Eternal is what makes someone rich,

and He doesn’t add pain to it.

Mischief is the sport of fools,

but wise actions bring joy to a person with insight.

Whatever wrongdoers fear the most will happen to them,

but those who do right will receive what they long for.

After the storm passes, the wrongdoers are blown away,

but those who do right are safe and sound on their firm foundations forever.

As vinegar vexes the teeth, and as smoke irritates the eyes,

so a slacker annoys his boss.

Reverence for the Eternal makes for a long and peaceful life,

but a wrongdoer will have years taken away.

The hope of those who do right is joy and celebration,

but the only prospect for those who do wrong is futility.

The way of the Eternal offers safety to those who love justice,

but it destroys those who perpetrate evil.

The right-living will never have their land taken away,

but wrongdoers will be uprooted.

Wisdom flows from the mouths of those who do right,

but tongues that twist the truth will be cut out.

The lips of the right-living understand what is proper,

but the mouths of wrongdoers twist and pervert the truth.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 10 (The Voice)

[Psalm 10]

Why, O Eternal One, are You so far away?

Why can’t You be found during troubling times?

Mean and haughty people hunt down the poor.

May they get caught up in their own wicked schemes.

For the wicked celebrates the evil cravings of his heart

as the greedy curses and rejects the Eternal.

The arrogance of the wicked one keeps him from seeking the True God.

He truly thinks, “There is no God.”

His ways seem always to be successful;

Your judgments, too, seem far beyond him, out of his reach.

He looks down on all his enemies.

In his heart he has decided, “Nothing will faze me.

From generation to generation I will not face trouble.”

His mouth is full of curses, lies, and oppression.

Beneath his tongue lie trouble and wickedness.

He hides in the shadows of the villages,

waiting to ambush and kill the innocent in dark corners.

He eyes the weak and the poor.

Ominously, like a lion in its lair,

he lurks in secret to waylay those who are downtrodden.

When he catches them, he draws them in and drags them off with his net.

Quietly crouching, lying low,

ready to overwhelm the next by his strength,

The wicked thinks in his heart, “God has forgotten us!

He has covered His face and will never notice!”

Arise, O Eternal, my True God. Lift up Your hand.

Do not forget the downtrodden.

Why does the wicked revile the True God?

He has decided, “He will not hold me responsible.”

But wait! You have seen,

and You will consider the trouble and grief he caused.

You will impose consequences for his actions.

The helpless, the orphans, commit themselves to You,

and You have been their Helper.

Break the arm of the one guilty of doing evil;

investigate all his wicked acts;

hold him responsible for every last one of them.

The Eternal will reign as King forever.

The other nations will be swept off His land.

O Eternal One, You have heard the longings of the poor and lowly.

You will strengthen them; You who are of heaven will hear them,

Vindicating the orphan and the oppressed

so that men who are of the earth will terrify them no more.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 10 (The Voice)

[Psalm 52]

The Fate of Cynics

For the Pure and Shining One

A song of instruction by King David composed when Doeg the Edomite betrayed David to Saul, saying, “David has come to the house of Ahimilech!”

You call yourself a mighty man, a big shot?

Why do you boast in the evil you have done?

Yet God’s loyal love will protect me and carry the day!

Listen, O deceiver, trickster of others:

Your words are wicked, harming and hurting all who hear them.

You love evil and hate what is good and right.

You would rather lie than tell the truth.

Pause in his presence

You love to distort, devour, and deceive,

using your sly tongue to spin the truth.

But the Almighty will strike you down forever!

He will pull you up by your roots

and drag you away to the darkness of death.

Pause in his presence

The godly will see all this and will be awestruck.

Then they will laugh at the wicked, saying,

“See what happens to those great in their own eyes

who don’t trust in the Most High to save them!

Look how they trusted only in their wealth

and made their living from wickedness.”

But I am like a flourishing olive tree, anointed in the house of God.

I trust in the unending love of God;

his passion toward me is forever and ever.

Because it is finished,

I will praise you forever and give you thanks.

Before all your godly lovers I will proclaim your beautiful name!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 52 (The Passion Translation)

with Psalm 52 mirrored in The Message:

[Psalm 52]

Why do you brag of evil, “Big Man”?

God’s mercy carries the day.

You scheme catastrophe;

your tongue cuts razor-sharp,

artisan in lies.

You love evil more than good,

you call black white.

You love malicious gossip,

you foul-mouth.

God will tear you limb from limb,

sweep you up and throw you out,

Pull you up by the roots

from the land of life.

Good people will watch and

worship. They’ll laugh in relief:

“Big Man bet on the wrong horse,

trusted in big money,

made his living from catastrophe.”

And I’m an olive tree,

growing green in God’s house.

I trusted in the generous mercy

of God then and now.

I thank you always

that you went into action.

And I’ll stay right here,

your good name my hope,

in company with your faithful friends.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 52 (The Message)

[Psalm 72]

A song of Solomon.

True God, bestow Your honest judgments upon the king

and anoint the king’s son with Your righteousness.

May he be honest and fair in his judgments over Your people

and offer justice to the burdened and suffering.

Under his reign, may this land of mountains and hills know peace

and experience justice for all the people.

May the king offer justice to the burdened and suffering,

rescue the poor and needy,

and demolish the oppressor!

[May the people fear You] for as long as the sun shines,

as long as the moon rises in the night sky, throughout the generations.

May the king be like the refreshing rains, which fall upon fields of freshly mown grass—

like showers that cool and nourish the earth.

May good and honest people flourish for as long as he reigns,

and may peace fill the land until the moon no longer rises.

May the king rule from one sea to the next,

and may his rule extend from the Euphrates River to the far reaches of the earth.

Let the desert wanderers bow down before him

and his enemies lay prostrate and taste the dirt.

Let the kings of Tarshish and the island kings

shower him with gifts

And the kings of Sheba and Seba bring him presents as well.

Let every king on earth bow down before him

and every nation be in his service.

For he will rescue the needy when they ask for help!

He will save the burdened and come to the aid of those who have no other help.

He offers compassion to the weak and the poor;

he will help and protect the lives of the needy!

He will liberate them from the fierce sting of persecution and violence;

in his eyes, their blood is precious.

May he live a long, long time

and the gold of Sheba be given to him.

May the people constantly lift up prayers for him,

and may they call upon God to bless him always.

Let grain grow plentifully in this land of promise,

let it sway in the breeze on the hilltops,

let it grow strong as do the cedars of Lebanon,

And may those who live in the city bloom and flourish

just as the grass of the fields and meadows.

May his name live on forever

and his reputation grow for as long as the sun gives light.

May people from all nations find in him a blessing;

may all peoples declare him blessed.

May the Eternal God, the God of Israel, be blessed,

for He alone works miracles and wonders!

May His glorious name be blessed forever

and the whole earth be filled with His eternal glory!

Amen. Amen.

The prayers of King David, Jesse’s son, are ended.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 72 (The Voice)

[betsyhavekost91]

Single-minded and Whole-hearted.

Back in February, I was given the privilege to speak on singleness at a Valentine’s event for college students: to share my thoughts on it, the trials and joys of it, and advice for walking in it. If you can believe it is even possible, a lot of this was packed into 15ish minutes of sharing. (And you’re thinking, “wow she must really be a fast talker!”) I am still learning and growing in the place of singleness that God has me, and these truths are some that I go back to regularly. Like probably on the daily, if I’m honest.

Why I blog: I love words and often best process what I am learning through writing. As a result, this blog of mine has become a way for me to look at seasons of life and the things God is teaching me in and through them. I have been meaning to make time to post this for almost 5 months, and hooray! I finally sat down and did it.

(Please note that these all start with a P since I love alliterations.)

Lessons I’ve learned and truths I continue to claim:

1. Perspective.

The angle from which you view something or the lens you look through can alter your perception. When flying in an airplane, the cars below seem small. Yet, standing in the street as a semi approaches, the vehicle suddenly seems very large. Viewpoint makes a huge difference.

No, singleness isn’t always a choice. But my perspective of it and my response to it is.

What lens am I viewing my singleness through? Do I view it as a gift or a burden? As an opportunity, or as a state of misery? In light of my singleness, am I thinking about the eternal or temporal?

My perspective determines my gratitude and dictates my joy.

If you have read any of my past blogs, it seems like so many of the things God has been teaching me come into contact with each other in this. I love the Ann Voskamp quote that says 

“Joy is a function of gratitude, and gratitude is a function of perspective. You only begin to change your life when you begin to change the way you see.” (Read that once more and think about it. Pretty profound, really).

As mentioned in past blogs, a verse that has been especially personal to me in the past 2 years is Psalm 116:7. In fact, just the week before last I sat down and reflected on the goodness of God in this season.

Psalm 116:7 “Be at rest once more, oh my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.”

I have seen in times of anxiety, discontentment, and uncertainty how God has used this promise to remind me to be thankful.

When I sit down, look back and around, and list specific ways in which I have seen God’s goodness (not just say “God is good,” but actually list tangible ways I see His goodness), my soul really has found rest and my perspective has been reset. Claiming ways in which He has blessed me with good and has used my singleness, specifically, for good serves to shift me out of just about any pity party I might try to throw for myself.

Jesus was the example of choosing His perspective, and in Hebrews 12:2-3, we are called to do the same.

Hebrews 12:2-3 “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

As Jesus stood accused, despite His perfect innocence, He looked beyond His current pain, rejection, and persecution to the joy of making you and I (sinful humans) righteous before a holy God.

When my eyes are on me and my current circumstances, gosh, my perspective can turn to woe, selfishness, and discontentment.

When I consciously and deliberately choose to fix my eyes on Him and on eternity, life perspective shifts back to where it rightly belongs.

One of my favorite reminders of perspective and joy comes from the funny-sounding book of Habakkuk:

Habakkuk 3:17-19 “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

Regardless of what is going on in my life-- whether it is filled with discouragement or encouragement-- my hope, salvation, and joy are not dependent upon my circumstances. Rather, my hope, salvation, and joy are found in Jesus, in God my Savior. I have to continue returning to that perspective and choosing to rejoice.

    2.  Purpose.

Why am I even here? Why are you even here?

God could have taken me right up to heaven after I’d accepted Christ, yet instead He left me here for a reason.

Ultimately, I am here on earth to: know Him more, point others to Him, and glorify Him.

I love how Grace Thornton puts it:

“Our whole life is about knowing Him and making Him known. That’s what we’re here for. That’s all we’re here for. Even the most normal day was never meant to be about me. …There are a whole lot of people who don’t even know that hope exists.” – Grace Thornton

We live in a world full of people who are either going to spend their eternity in heaven or hell. 1 John 5:11-12 says those who have the Son have life, and those who don’t have the Son don’t have life. It’s a big deal. Souls are at stake.

Paul boldly lived out his purpose (and yes, he was single. But this applies to any and every one of us—single, dating, or married.)

Acts 20:24 “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

And he wrote to the believers in Ephesus, Philippi, and Colosse to do the same:

Ephesians 4:1 “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.”

Philippians 1:27 “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.”

Colossians 1:10-12 “And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.”

We are here for more. We are called to live lives worthy of the Gospel. Most people spend their lives trying to figure out their purpose, but as believers we already know the answer to that question. Remember why you are here in the first place, and I guarantee that it serves to shift your perspective.

This should be your purpose whether you are single, dating, engaged, or married. To know the Lord and point people to Him.

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” -Jim Elliot

3. Position in Him.

My worth and identity does not rest in my relationship status or in how others view me. Praise Jesus for that. And oh, how often do I need to remind myself of that truth.

Instead, my worth and identity are determined by the fact that: I am made in His image, I am called His own, and I am being transformed into His likeness.

There are hundreds of verses in the Bible that remind of truth that I am known, loved, redeemed, chosen, His, delighted in, forgiven, made new, accepted, rescued, led, and the list goes on- and not one of them says that those truths are dependent upon my relationship status with a significant other. Rather, they are dependent upon my relationship status with my Savior.

He is unchanging and sure, so my position in Him is also unchanging and sure. It doesn’t waver or change with my fluctuating emotions or circumstances.

This is incredibly crucial whether you are single, dating, or married. If you find worth in what others think of you, whether a guy or gal is totally into you, or in how well you are loved by a(n imperfect) human, you will be disappointed.

God has so challenged me in this area over the last two years. I was in a relationship with a stellar guy, and he was unsure of our relationship after initially being so sure.

God had to remind me again and again that my worth was not determined by whether a guy wanted to continue to date me—rather, regardless of my status as girlfriend or not, I am valuable, loved, accepted, chosen, called, and held by my Creator.

4. His Presence is constant, regardless.

Regardless of my circumstances-- of the hills and the valleys in life--this statement is true.

I have been in relationships and in seasons of singleness, yet He has been faithful and present throughout each circumstance.

He has also brought me to seasons in which no one else fully understands or grasps my situation, and I think it is because He is jealous for my attention. In those moments of wishing someone else could just “get” what I am walking through, He has sweetly reminded me that He does get it, entirely. And it makes me cling to Him all the more.

During a year full of rotations for occupational therapy school and (what seemed like) constant change, this verse in Deuteronomy was vital to my fearful heart. And during the past year of living in a new town, working with patients who have experienced so much loss, and seeing family and friends experience deep loss, this verse has continued to be a favorite.

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Ahead of me and right beside me through whatever joy or sorrow I face, He is and He will be.

Isaiah 46:4 “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”

Sustainer. Creator. Rescuer.

There may not always be an answer to “why” things are the way they are, and sometimes that is the case so that I choose to trust in, cling to, and claim Him more than before. That’s why this C.S. Lewis quote has quickly been put to memory.

“I know now Lord why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer.” -CS Lewis

Sometimes God’s only clear answer to the “why” is: “Because you know and experience more of Me in this circumstance and through this circumstance than ever before.” 

Get to know His presence, get to know Him. Get alone with God.

5. His Plan is always perfect. (Yes, it sounds cliché.)

Nothing that happens in my life is a coincidence, rather, there is always a purpose for it.

However, I can’t always see the purpose for it right now. (And yes, this is sometimes the hardest part of it all, being a control freak.)

Ultimately, God is using all to conform me to the likeness of His Son. Nothing is wasted or in vain.

I used to think of Romans 8:28 in a very cliché way, and then a mentor of mine pointed out verse 29, (I mean, who knew that 29 came after 28?) which talks about God using all things for our good in order that we would be conformed to the likeness of His Son. And oh, have I seen that to be true.

Romans 8:28-29a “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his son.”

God can use any relationship, breakup, time of singleness, or marriage to build character and draw me closer to Him. He can use any victory or success, any grief or loss to do this. And that is the ultimate goal- to become more and more like Him. Not just to be blissfully happy in every moment I spend on earth.

Often, the things God does don’t seem to make sense. They don’t fit the ideal plan that I would have laid out. But that is why He is God and not me. I have found sweet comfort this past year in that reality, as I watched a dear friend walk through cancer and God call her home, seeing God bring different outcomes than I would have planned or preferred.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 “As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.”

And ultimately, It all comes down to believing the truth that God is sovereign and good, and that His sovereignty and goodness interact perfectly.

That, just as He demonstrates in Isaiah 40, He is in complete, total, ultimate control. That He can orchestrate any and every circumstance as He deems. Yet, as He says in Psalm 34 and Psalm 107, He is good, and in His goodness He knows and wants what is best for me. Choose to believe that He acts in accordance with those truths of His character.

6. Persistence is important. For resetting my perspective, for choosing Him, for choosing joy.

I think I used to view contentment as this goal to attain, and, in my naïve 18-year-old mind (yes, many moons ago), I also thought “Once I am content, then God will bring him (the guy) along.”

Now, I realize that contentment is a dynamic process that evolves, ebbs, and flows. (And to be honest, I’ve never been sure which part is the ebbing or flowing, but that’s beside the point).

Contentment isn’t this ultimatum or peak that I reach and in which God says “Congratulations Betsy, you made it! Now you can have all the things you have desired!” Nope, that’s not it. Instead, contentment in Him keeps me dependent. I have to persist, to constantly take my temperature and reset my perspective.

One day I had a thought: maybe I am never fully content on this side of eternity so that I keep running back to Him again and again. Maybe He just wants me to keep coming to decision-points in which I am challenged to choose Him again. And again. And again.

That He desires, over and over, for me to claim that He is sufficient, that His love is enough, that I need Him. Because let’s face it, the struggle for contentment is in everything. In wanting more money, more stuff, more success, more recognition, more and more. It’s a challenge we continue to face.

Hebrews 13:5-6 “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said ‘Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.’”

Psalm 4:7 “You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.”

Psalm 36:7-9 “How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.”

Keep choosing Him. Because in the assurance of His presence, the assurance of His joy, and the assurance of my salvation, I have more than enough. 

“Oh what grace I’ve found in you, My Jesus, that my soul should entertain your greatness. Should this life hold nothing but My Savior, I will praise you always.” -”What a Savior”, Hillsong United

I can honestly say that some of the times of greatest contentment and joy in my life have come when I live for why I’ve been created---to show others who He is and to walk in closeness with Him. When I have seen others start to grasp Christ and delight in knowing Him. Funny how it says just that in Isaiah.

Isaiah 58:6-12, 14 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter--when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become light the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters will never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

...then you will find your joy in the Lord..”

Persistence in this is key. Keep walking faithfully.

     7. Play as if days are numbered, because they are.

My days on earth are numbered, but singleness allows for a lot of time and freedom in those days. My 26 years have provided numerous opportunities to be spontaneous and available and faithful.

None of us are guaranteed to even get to 30. (Unless you are 30 already. Then you are guaranteed that :)).

But as the psalmist said in Psalm 90, we number our days to gain a heart of wisdom. When we live as if our days are short, it changes how we use them.

Psalm 90:12 “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

The amount of time left on the clock should affect the way we live.

If the Huskers are down by 7 from their own 25-yard line with 1:07 left on the clock, they sure aren’t going to run it up the gut each time. The time dictates the play-calling. We use our time strategically in sports, and it should be the same in life.

When I realize how short my time is, I don’t want to spend it waiting or wallowing in my singleness, because I don’t want to waste my life.

I have seen the benefits of my seasons of singleness in which distractions are limited. I don’t have a husband and children to care for, and it affords me so many opportunities to be spontaneous (and also planned and intentional) in the way I use my time. 1 Corinthians affirms this.

1 Corinthians 7:32-34 “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs- how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-- how he can please his wife-- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-- how she can please her husband.”

Use your undivided attention in an intentional way.

I studied Proverbs last year with some incredible women, and came across Proverbs 20:4:

Proverbs 20:4 “A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing.”

Normally I’d skip over this, but for some reason it jumped out at me this time.

I likely wouldn’t classify myself as a sluggard in terms of laziness. But then I thought about the definition of a sluggard.

A sluggard could be someone who is passive rather than actively engaged in the task set before them.

I don’t want to be a sluggard in this season of my life. Instead, I want to be

investing in people

actively engaged in pursuing Christ

embracing the benefits and blessings of where I am

I want to look at my life and see fruit in this season, rather than looking at it during harvest and finding it produced very little. We sow now to reap later. Sow purposefully, actively, and intentionally with the time given.

Singleness presents trials and struggles.

Culture- tells us we “should be married by..” and that we aren’t complete if we don’t have a significant other. It also provides social media to constantly compare ourselves to others.

Lies- it’s easy to be barraged by the lies that “you aren’t good enough,” “you aren’t beautiful enough to be pursued,” or (for men) “you aren’t enough of a man to pursue her.”

Disappointment- “If God knows this is a desire of mine, why would He withhold it? The Bible even says marriage is good, so why would He keep a good thing from me?”

Quick side note I heard last week: God does not withhold any good thing that will bring me more of Himself. So, if my definition of “ultimate good” is: to be known by God and to know God more intently and intimately, then I can trust that I already have every good thing that will bring me to know Him more. If there is a good thing that will conform me to His likeness and make me love Him more- He gives it. If not, I am not yet supposed to have it.

Comparison/expectations- how easy it is to compare our stories to everyone else’s. Be cautious of this, because God creates each of us so uniquely. I shouldn’t expect my story to be identical to another’s, and I shouldn’t expect a relationship I am in to look exactly like someone else’s.

Singleness also has its benefits.

Freedom- there is so much freedom for how I want to use my time and spend my money. Not to mention, I have an ability to be spontaneous that is not afforded to those who aren’t single.

Moms of small kiddos don’t even get to go to the bathroom on their own, much less have quiet, uninterrupted moments on end to pray or just sit and be. Dads come home from an exhausting day at work and help do dishes and play with the kiddos and put them down- and then get no sleep at night with the newborn up every 3 hours.

I can: go exercise after work, go to the bathroom alone, sleep through the night, go where I want when I want and spend my money how I want.

In the past year, this has allowed me to jump on a plane to visit my friend Katie and drive 10 hours each way in a weekend to visit her- without obligations. It has allowed me to spend extra time at work without rushing home to get dinner on the table and let me make food for new families or those going through grief. It has afforded me to go camping on the 1st of January, be available to visit grandparents--leading to spiritual conversations, go on backpacking trips, and have time to love on people. There is a great deal of joy that comes from using my time well.

Advice:

1. Don’t settle.

Elisabeth Elliot said “I want to marry a man who is prepared to swim against the tide.” As believers in this world, we are constantly swimming against the tide. If you want to marry someone who is swimming against the tide, it means that you need to date someone who is swimming against the tide.

In the first Navigator Summer Training Program I attended, a couple spoke on relationships. They said:

“The biggest predictor of how closely you’ll be walking with God in 50 years is the person you marry.”

- It is hard enough to finish well in this race of life. So pick someone who will spur you on toward that finish line, not someone who is holding you back as your run your three-legged race.

2. Beware of comparison and expectations, and Be Aware of comparison and expectations.

Be cautious of the way comparison and expectations can sneak up on you. For me, social media can be such a culprit. Guard against it.

And when comparison and expectations do creep in, be aware that it is the case. Take time to do what you need to in order to reset.

3. Maximize your time for His glory.

Choose to be wholly attentive to God’s Word and His Work during this season, in which you truly do have so much freedom.

In the wise words of Jim Elliot: “Wherever you are, be all there.”

Go where you’re sent, stay where you’re put, and give what you’ve got. All the way home.

As I processed life with my roommate this past week, it was refreshing to acknowledge the fact that this circumstance of life is not easy. I certainly don’t have it all together and much of life is a daily struggle. I just keep seeking to return to truth and resetting my perspective to see the bigger picture for my life. It is in the process of living this sweet life that we are refined.

“Take courage my heart. Stay steadfast my soul: He’s in the waiting.”