#the girlfailure

[lazuilis]

you don't know what you want, but you know that you're needing it bad

[starlight-lesbians]

Aiming to Please

nsfw greasedinah headcanons, mdni!

warnings: insecurity, consensual overstim, lesbian sex ig

So I made a joke that Greaseball probably eats pussy to comfort herself, but tbh I feel like she actually does kinda.

She loses a race and feels bad about herself, enter the immediate ego boost of making her girlfriend cum like 10 times and she’s feeling great again!

Dinah feeds into it because she tells her how good she’s doing and the praise in turn keeps her going longer.

(she would happily just normally comfort Greaseball but this is just how she deals with it lol)

Combine the crazy adrenaline from a race with her deep-seated need for praise and you have the recipe for a loooonngggg night

She’s always a pleaser though, don��t get me wrong, it's part of her programming or something.

After she upsets Dinah her first line of apology is "Can I eat you out?" (usually followed by "do you want food?")

She's probably a biter honestly, feral ass motherfucker

Literally has gone so long that she fell asleep down there on multiple occasions

"Did I do good doll?" to Dinah who is literally unable to speak anymore (she gets a thumbs up and keeps fuckin going)

She doesn't think her job is done until her jaw is sore and Dinah is pushing her off

[charkoal]

Do you think part of what made Vi sound so happy and endeared and almost amused when she said "Cait, I don't fucking care," was that in this moment, in the middle of making out, Caitlyn pulls away and stumbles out an honest explanation about how she had been with someone else?

This is the Caitlyn she knows. Not the puppet dictator, not the vengeful daughter, not even the suave girl who leaned against the wall and told her she's predictable a mere few seconds ago. This, the dorky, awkward, nervous Caitlyn is the one she first fell for, the one she first met. And yeah, Caitlyn is complex and can be dark and she's not the same, maybe she never was. But that part of her, the part that stuttered at Vi's flirting in the brothel, the part that tried to offer herself up to the Firelights in her place then sputtered in disbelief at Vi's appearance, the part that earned the name Cupcake, that part is real. Maybe it's tarnished, maybe it's changed, but it's still a part of her. And Vi had missed it desperately.

[littledoepeach]

some ocs!! a pissed off cat girl and a high maintenance puppy girl who met on tinder and are now dating 😌🙏

[catlaila]

every interaction kabru has with laios he is rolling full nat 20s with advantage with a +3 to charisma against an autistic man immune to charisma checks and absolutely nothing to lose

[vanipixels]

marcille!! the iron skillet is hot watch out!!!!!!

[lungthief]

seven year gap smoke breaks & breakdowns (aka phoenix wright and ema skye’s friendship is very important to me)

[twicearoundthebend]

Imagine going on a cross country trip to share the (mildly embarrassing) news with an adjacent king that your guards lost a prisoner, but when you get there- there’s actually a huge crowd of people who all get called into a massive Super Important Meeting. And the prisoner (who you thought wasn’t like That Big of a deal) gets brought up, and everyone’s talking about how great your kingdoms security is, and how important it is that he’s locked up, and you’re just sitting there sweating buckets. And you have to stand up in front of Everybody and tell them ‘actually he escaped and had been gone for months’. While everyone looks at you with the most disappointed faces you’ve ever seen. What a loser.

And Then you have to go on an even Longer trip with all of these people who’s first impression of you was some cringefail sweaty loser who can’t even keep track of one (1) guy.

No wonder Legolas was showing off every chance he got, he was trying to bring his reputation up from like -100

[riliphins]

yayyy

[dolylove]

[cryptcoop]

Guess what I watched

[jazzy-flowerr]

Ultimate girlfailure and boyfailure couple <3

[frogwiththephatahh]

I love that the fandom has simultaneously agreed that Ford is the hot one and Bill is his ugly husband. Bill, who was one of the first Tumblr Sexy Men. Bill, who people have been drawing thirst trap, twinky human designs for since his debut. Bill, who had an entire fan base of little girls thirsting for him for a decade. BILL is the one who fumbled Ford, a character introduced in the later half of the last season and who had only a small fan base before the current billble era. BILL fumbled.

[coveredinsun]

i’ve seen gimleaf fics where they each try to find out how to court by the other’s traditions. and i love those, so i think they ought to be taken a step further. and i think the way to do that would be, naturally, to make bagginshield real. allow me to explain why. ahem. after the ring is destroyed, girlfailure legolas spends two weeks poring over The Ancient Texts and stressing because his one (1) friend who WOULD help him (that’s aragorn) knows jack shit about dwarves beyond the surface (no pun intended) (well gandalf knows things but gandalf is a bitch) (he would just smile at legolas knowingly and wish him good luck instead of giving him answers).

so alas, girlfailure “shit tier ass elf” legolas is left to like, idk, sulk or something in the garden he starts at the Bestie Residence in minas tirith. and after like 2 days sam’s had enough he’s like “dude your vibes are upsetting the plants.” and legolas is like “my bad bro. it just seems i know nothing about dwarves which i probably should’ve thought about before, by elf standards, getting hitched in vegas.” and sam is like “oh dwarves? just ask mister frodo ^_^ he knows tons about dwarves!” and legolas is like “what the shit? him in particular? why does he anything about dwarves?” and sam leans in reaaaalllllll close and whispers behind his hand, “well you see mister elf, mister legolas, sir, there’s always been a very healthy amount of rumors that go around in the shire about mister frodo’s uncle, mister bilbo, and the letters he used to exchange with a certain king under the mountain.” and legolas, who was THERE, is like

[mushramoo]

I love this fucking thing

[nokdunal]

Younger(?) Solas 🤔