#the game's fun but some of the designs are uh. certainly there

[snowlilly]

It is the last moment I share with my darling son, who must flee the country while I stay behind to fend off the traitors of the crown coming for our lives.

"Never forget where you came from," I say with my whole pussy out,

[jesterjazz]

Title: Another Day in the Future Pairing: Jimmy Neutron/Timmy Turner Rating: Gen Word Count: ~6K Ao3 link

--- It was one of those rare days where there was nothing major going on. The stars only align like this every few months. Jimmy was in his lab as usual. Libby and Sheen were on a date. Carl was at the zoo. Cindy? Who knows, who cares? Certainly not him. All was right with the world. The multiverse was quiet. Well... Aside from one glaring issue.

"Jimmy. Jimmy Jam. James. James Isaac Neutron. Uh... What is that Cindy calls you? Nerdtom? Nerdtron! Nerd the candy. Candyman." 

Timmy Turner wouldn't shut up. 

Jimmy refused to respond to any of those nicknames. He was far too busy working on his blueprints. Turner was in his lab being a nuisance, touching everything. Despite the number of times Jimmy had told him not to touch anything. Even going as far as to actively shake the chair that the boy genius was sitting on. It was taking everything in Jimmy’s power to not lose it. 

"Jonathan." Turner shook the chair harder. How Goddard was able to sleep through all this ruckus was beyond him.

"That’s not even close to my name.” Not-Jonathan whipped his head towards the most annoying person in his lab. Probably the entire multiverse. “What in the name of science do you want, Turner?"  

Turner shrugged, unaffected. "I'm bored.” He let go of the chair. His eyes went wide with an idea. “Ooh, can we create a bad guy to defeat again? That was fun."

Jimmy rolled his eyes, "You never learn."

"Nope!" Timmy smiled wide. As if his buck teeth needed more exposure.

“Why don't you play poker with your holograms?” 

“He’s banned.” Cosmo said from a distance. Jimmy didn’t bother turning around. The holograms liked to play random board games off to the side. They were unintrusive, unlike their creator. They liked to play chess, monopoly, and apparently some fairy related board games? 

Jimmy didn’t ask questions anymore. The one time he did, he got sucked in for about three days straight. It was brutal. Friendships and marriages were tested.

“Timmy is scary good at poker.” Wanda said.

“What? No way, you guys are just bad at lying.” Timmy protested. A valiant effort to defend his non-existent honor, but ultimately a useless one.

“It’s not fair!” Cosmo threw down his cards. The cards flew over Jimmy’s workstation and landed helter-skelter all over his blueprints. 

"Why don't you just go home?" Jimmy brushed aside the loose cards. The mess would be future Jimmy’s problem. 

"Vicky is babysitting again," The three of them intoned. It was eerie how in sync they could be at times.

Ah yes, the babysitter: Vicky. One of the cruelest people Jimmy had ever had the misfortune of interacting with. They only met once, but the memory of clinging onto the seat for dear life and then being thrown out of a car kept him up on random nights. The world Timmy lived in was absolutely terrifying. No wonder he didn’t want to return. Especially with a babysitter like that.

His friend would often complain about his babysitter. It was odd to know he had one, especially since they were only one year apart in age. Jimmy’s own parents were always around or made his grandma come over. He shuddered at the thought of the last time his grandma was supposed to take care of him. Still, he’s been able to stay home alone more often than not. Not like Turner ever had that opportunity.

"Well, that is her job,” Jimmy continued sketching out a small device. “My job is to work on an upgrade to make travel between dimensions more convenient for the team." 

It’s been something he’s been meaning to do for a while. Traveling between different worlds had become a bit of an inconvenience. First he would need to track down Danny, Spongebob, Timmy, bring them back to the lab or whatever meeting place they were at, and fill them in on the details. Then they’d split up. If they got lost then that took up extra time to track the lost member down. 

It was a whole tedious process. 

Designing something handheld that each member of the team could carry with them would be useful. It would help with communication and knowing everyone’s location, especially in a time of a crisis. It could also make transportation between universes a lot smoother.

"Oh!” Timmy shook the chair again. Jimmy was going to defenestrate Turner one of these days. “I know what you should do instead. You should build a meeting area. It can be in space." 

“You know you could just wish that up, Sport.” In the corner of Jimmy’s eye, he could see Wanda flying right next to her creator. 

“Oh yeah.” Timmy blinked. “Nah, later. I want to annoy Jimmy right now.” 

Jimmy sighed as he put his pencil down. “Having you here irritating me this only seems to be a disservice to my future self." 

"Hey…” His friend smirked, never a good sign. “Future self, huh? You ever wonder what you're going to be like in the future?" 

"Nope." Jimmy shut that down.

"Why not?"

"I already know.” He held up his blueprints, tilting his head. Did they look right? No. Something was missing. He put them down. “I'm going to get multiple Nobel Peace Prizes, be rewarded for helping make advances in science, and not be married to Cindy."

"And how do you know that?" Timmy crossed his arms. 

"Because I built a portal to the future." Jimmy said, erasing a detail he didn’t like. He was going to redraw that one bit again.

"What?” Timmy pushed Jimmy’s chair. “When was this?" The table shook with the force of Timmy’s push, sending his pencil flying across the room. 

Jimmy heaved a long-suffering sigh.

His attempts to get anything done would always be foiled as long as Turner was here. At least one of the holograms teleported his pencil back. While they were bound to Timmy’s chaotic whims, they still did things of their own volition.

He remembered his friend’s question, "Oh. A few months before we made Shirley." 

“Huh… Do you still have it?”

“It should be somewhere in the back of the lab,” he said absentmindedly, vaguely gesturing to the back. Mm, erasing pencil lines was annoying. Maybe he should just start over.

“Cool!” Timmy ran off.

Finally, peace and quiet. 

Jimmy enjoyed it for about five seconds before the implications nearly knocked him onto the floor. He jumped out of his seat and went after Turner. He was not going to let Turner mess with time. Let alone unsupervised.

“Is this it?” Timmy stood right in front of the Chrono Arch. 

“How many times in the past have we messed with time?” Wanda crossed her arms.

“This is different. Now we're messing with the future.” Timmy smiled.

“He’s got a point there.” Cosmo mused.

“No, you will not.” Jimmy approached them and the arch. “That’s odd. There should be a sheet covering it.” 

“Well, there isn’t.” 

Said sheet was sitting in a puddle on the floor to the side, discarded. He could've sworn he covered it. Last time, he swore to himself that he’d never  mess with his future ever again. 

Dictator Libby was enough for one afternoon adventure.

Timmy cracked his knuckles, wiggling his fingers as he reached out to push some buttons.

“Turner!” Jimmy pulled him away by the collar before he could do so. He was getting way too good at stopping Timmy moments before disaster. “Let me handle this. How far into the future do you want to see?” 

He looked over to see if everything was still stable. The machine was still plugged in. Odd. 

“Mm.” Timmy tapped his shoes. “I don’t know. Ten years?” He glanced at Cosmo and Wanda. Cosmo only shrugged.

Ten years? They would only be in their early twenties. Well, there was no doubt Jimmy would find some success. He’d probably be in college, finishing up a master’s… Or maybe even a doctorate.  

While his parents wanted him to stay in elementary school to be around other kids his age, they didn't have those same restrictions when it came to his later teen years. If he played his cards right he could probably finish up high school early. A vague plan, but a plan nonetheless.

The next ten years didn't seem that interesting. Just boring high school stuff he had seen in movies. Music, dancing, and unrealistic romantic woes.

The last time Jimmy ran the machine he did at least fifteen years to see what he was like in his mid twenties. He was thriving, along with his other friends. 

“Ten years feels a bit too soon.” Jimmy summarized his thoughts. 

“Uh… Twenty years!” Timmy said. Twenty years into the future. It seemed so far away. He’d be in his thirties, basically an old man. 

“I hope there’s flying cars!” Cosmo said.

“Cosmo sweetie, we can already fly.” Wanda reminded him.

“Oh yeah…”

“Alright,” Jimmy punched in the exact date twenty years into the future. “Let’s have a look at Retroville twenty years from now.” He turned the machine on.

The boys peered through the archway to see future Retroville. It seemed altogether more stylish, with better paved roads, floating billboards, and robots patrolling the sidewalks. 

People were wearing sleek futuristic outfits. 

Jimmy searched for his future self. He landed on a house with a rainbow flag. Calling it a house was an understatement, it was almost a mansion. There his future self was, sitting in a living room surrounded by prizes. He looked unbothered by life, and more importantly, there was no Cindy in sight to bother him. Hopefully he was far away from Timmy Turner as well.

“Seems like everything is as it should be.” Jimmy stepped back from the Chrono Arch, arms akimbo as he admired a future where things were calm and he was successful.

“What about me?” Timmy crossed his arms.

Jimmy rolled his eyes, “I don't know if we’d even be friends that far in the future.” Of course everything had to be about or related to Turner. “Who’s to say you would even be in Retroville?”

Timmy grinned with mischief in his eyes, “Let’s find out.” Then he ran right into the portal. 

“Timmy!” The holograms yelled and flew right after their creator. 

“How did I end up with Vicky’s job?” Jimmy wondered aloud to his empty lab. There was only one thing he could do. He ran through the Chrono Arch.

The lights were blinding. Traveling through time or between different dimensions did not get any easier. 

“This place looks cool!” Timmy yelled, which made Jimmy flinch. His ears were still ringing a bit. 

Turner never seemed to be affected by these sorts of things. Were those the consequences of having holograms teleporting him anywhere? Did that make things easier? He would do more research, but Timmy was very protective of Cosmo and Wanda. 

After Jimmy’s eyes adjusted, he looked around. It was still very much Retroville. They landed in a more suburban area. Not a place Jimmy frequented. This was more where the upper middle class were located. His parents were regular middle class.

He only knew where they were because this street went all out during Halloween. There would be fake skeletons, grand decorations,  and oh, the candy would be marvelous.

This was probably the street where his future self lived. Nice.

The holograms were no longer in their fairy forms. Instead they had morphed into oddly colored squirrels, sitting right next to Timmy.

“Turner!” Jimmy yelled, Timmy’s wonder crashed into annoyance at Jimmy’s voice. “You weren't supposed to go into the future.” Jimmy’s eyes widened in panic. He patted himself down. “Darn it, and we have no means of getting back.”

Jimmy didn’t even have Goddard with him. At least last time he was in the future with Carl and Sheen, the robo- dog was there to help make travel easier.

“Speak for yourself, I have Cosmo and Wanda to poof me back. You however, seem very unprepared.” Timmy said.

“We are not going to leave Jimmy stranded in the past.” Wanda scolded.

“Thank you Wanda. I came unprepared because you ran here with no warning.” Jimmy said.

“You saw my scheming face.” Timmy shrugged. “You were warned.” 

“Not the point.” Jimmy groaned. “Let’s go find James.” He started walking.

“Who’s James?” Timmy jogged up to him. That jog became a walk, matching Jimmy’s pace.

“Future me, I don't want to say future Jimmy a hundred times.”

“Oh. That makes sense. Do we call my future self something else too?”

“Thomas does sound like a more grown up name.”

“Thomas?!” Timmy stopped. “You think my name is Thomas? Ew.”

Jimmy smiled at his friend’s distress in the slowly growing distance between them.

Timmy caught up to him, “Why are we even friends? I thought you knew me.” 

“If your full name isn't Thomas then what is it?”

“Timothy.”

Jimmy snorted, “Timothy? Timothy Turner.”

“Timothy Tiberius Turner.”

“Your dimension is obsessed with alliteration.”

“Nope, just my parents.”

Jimmy opened his mouth, ready to insult them. He closed it. Timmy didn't mention his parents often. Though from the little bits of information that Jimmy has been able to gather from context clues and through interacting with them, they didn't seem like the best. 

Yet Timmy was still fond of them. He got defensive if anyone implied otherwise. It wasn't worth the petty squabble. 

They kept walking.

“So what are we looking for?” Timmy broke the silence.

“James’ house. I saw it briefly before we went.” 

“You remember it?”

“Barely.” Jimmy sighed. “I know it had a flag outside.”

“Like that?” Timmy pointed to a rainbow flag.“What country is that?” 

“No country has that flag.” Jimmy said. 

It’s odd. He didn’t understand why he would have a rainbow flag outside his residence at all.

“I’m pretty sure there’s a country with that flag.” Cosmo said. 

The two boys and the two squirrels went up the porch. Timmy knocked on the door.

"Honey, I told you to remember your keys-" James opened the door and took a double take. Wheels seemed to turn in his head before he looked down to stare at the boys. "Not you two again."

"Again?" Jimmy asked. This was the first time he had gone to this version of the future. 

Timmy went inside. "Sweet place you got."

"He says that every time." James rolled his eyes, turning on his heel to follow Timmy in.

"Every time?” Jimmy asked.  Alarm bells were starting to go off in his head. “Have we been here before?"

James stepped to the side, “Just come on in." He gestured into the house, a tired yet soft smile appeared. Jimmy doesn't think he’s ever worn that expression before.

Before the future was alluring and full of promise. It was supposed to be exciting. Now that he was there faced with an older version of himself made things feel different. 

It made it real. 

One day he was going to have all of this. Success wasn't a question, it was a guarantee. 

Something would happen that would make him wear this emotion so easily on his face. That was scary, because he had no idea what would cause it.

He stepped inside, regardless of his misgivings. It was his portal that brought Timmy here and he was going to bring him back to the past. Possibly kicking and screaming. 

The inside was bigger than he expected it to be. There was a living room to the left. Timmy was already taking everything all in. The walls were a rich rusty color, and a light green rug contrasted the rich black couch and loveseat. They had soft pink pillows on top with cute little hearts. One pillow was full of rainbow hearts, which seemed like an odd design choice. 

Little trinkets lined the fireplace. Jimmy… Begrudgingly admitted to himself that he was too short to see the top but he could see the edge of a snowglobe  that said Dimmsdale. Something else seemed to have Phantom’s logo on a plush of some kind? Merch perhaps? Following that line of logic, there must also be something from Bikini Bottom, but there were more than three items on the mantel. A hint of new members in the future? Fascinating.

His Nobel Peace Prizes were on full display on a different shelf, the same ones he saw when Sheen and Carl were first looking at their futures months ago.

It was sleek yet cozy. Lived in, but there were no pictures hung up. Which seemed like an odd detail, or lack of one. 

Timmy stood on the other side of the room closer to the television. At least that’s what Jimmy assumed it was. It looked a lot flatter than any television he had ever seen.  It sat on a television stand, books lining the shelves below. Classic literature mixed with... What the hell was a Crimson Chin? Why did his future self have volumes of it?

“What’s this?” Timmy picked up a controller.

“It’s the newest gaming system, I got it as a favor in advance.” James said.

“Really? Cool!” 

Jimmy turned to his future self with suspicion. “Since when did we get into video games and comic books?” He asked. Sure, Jimmy liked video games, but not to this extent.

“My spouse’s hobbies.” James said.

Jimmy eyebrows raised in surprise at that. He got married? But- His true love was science!

As if his future self knew exactly what he was thinking, he raised his hand up from his pocket, showing off a wedding ring with a comforting smile. 

Timmy shook the controller, still in his own little world, “How do I start playing?”

“Nope.” James snatched the controller out of Timmy’s hand. “It’s supposed to be a surprise gift for my partner.”

Jimmy liked using his big vocabulary but this seemed excessive. Why wasn’t his future self just saying wife? He hadn’t even dropped one pronoun, almost carefully sticking to gender-neutral words. 

"Are Cindy and I still married in this version of the future?" Jimmy asked.

"No." James replied, almost annoyed. “You really think Cindy is into video games and comics? She’s too busy being a senator.”

“Cindy and I aren’t married. This is truly the best future!” Jimmy started doing a little dance. “Wait, she’s a senator?”

"Enough about Nerd Brain over there, I wanna know about my future!" Timmy whined. 

"For the last time Turner, we are in future Retroville. Not future Dimmsdale." Jimmy turned to James. "Tell me we aren't still friends in the future."

"That's one way of putting it." James stifled a laugh.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, "I highly doubt I've always been this vague."

“I’m being vague for a reason. We need to get you two back, the past is already changing with every second you stay here, and I’d like the present to stay exactly how it is." James said.

"Even in the future you're still so pushy and demanding." Timmy pulled a face. “Can I play at least one game?”

“No.”

The door opened with a squeal of hinges, and a stranger walked in. 

"Hey Handsome," he said, his face obscured by armfuls of  grocery bags.

"T- Babe! Hi. I think you should stay outside." James said.

"You seem tense." The stranger put the groceries down on the counter. 

Jimmy noticed the buck teeth first, then the wedding ring. The same one his future self wore. 

His heart stopped. 

No. 

His worst fears were realized when Future Timmy pulled Future Jimmy closer, the same way his dad would his mom. Then Future Jimmy and Future Timmy started kissing. The world slowed down. Dramatic classical music blasted in Jimmy's mind. 

His future lips… Were on future Turner's.

"I think I'm going to faint. Or vomit. Or both." Timmy fell backwards.

Jimmy couldn't stop staring. How did this happen? What? When? Why? How? What?!

The future was still messed up. That was the only logical reason.

Future Timmy pulled away from his future self. Good. He needs to stay away. Very far away. A separate dimension far away. Several dimensions.

“Woops. Didn't see those two.” Timothy rubbed the back of his neck.

“I always tell you, you need to be more aware of your surroundings. How many times have I had to save your sorry butt?” James raised an eyebrow.

“I lost count.” Timothy shrugged. “Besides you love my butt, Sweetbuns.”

James laughed. 

Jimmy and Timmy cried.

“Make it stop.” Jimmy groaned.

“This is a fate worse than an afternoon with Vicky.” Timmy sat up.

“How did this even happen?” Jimmy asked.

"I was around eighteen? There was a party in Retroville. Do you remember who was throwing it?" Timothy turned to James.

"Libby, I think. Her parties were the only ones worth going to."

"Oh right. So Jimmy and I get there together, and there's booze. I want to try some but Jimmy starts being a buzzkill so I trick him into drinking."

"Cool!" Timmy said.

"Wait, how?" Jimmy asked.

"Reverse psychology with a pinch of peer pressure." James sighed. "Timmy isn’t as dumb as he seems. He can actually be quite clever, when he wants to be."

Timothy smiled, "Aw-"

"I'm still mad at you for that." James threw a soft elbow into Timothy’s ribs.

Timothy let out a soft oof before wrapping an arm around James’ waist. "It's been like ten years! Plus we're married." 

Jimmy covered his eyes. This was not happening.

"I don't see how that is relevant." James said.

"Anyway, drunk Jimmy is an absolute riot.” An evil little smile grew on Timothy’s face. “He was starting to strip, getting really cuddly, he tried to get in some fights, he started crying over a penny." 

Timothy started to laugh, and James, mock offended, shoved hands at his shoulders to push him away, which only made Timothy laugh harder, though his arm stayed firmly around James’ waist.

Timmy made a disgusted face and Jimmy nodded in agreement. How could they have fallen so far? How could they have fallen for each other? One night drinking caused this??? Yeah, no. He was swearing off alcohol. Forever. The loss of brain cells from drinking clearly affected him.

James playfully rolled his eyes, "I was being set up. Everyone was trying to get me drunk!"

"Because you never got drunk before. It was... Incredible.” Timothy’s eyes brimmed with emotion as he stared ats James. “But then he started vomiting, and that was not so great. I barely drank so it was up to me to take care of him. Then Jimmy starts going on and on about how great I am and then drops the bomb that he loves me, then passes out." 

Jimmy clenched his fists, cheeks burning. "Why would I even be so foolish as to drink alcohol?" 

“I got curious and Timmy really knows how to push my buttons.” James said.

“That’s not the only thing I can do.” Timothy smirked.

“Babe.” James, honest to Einstein, giggled. 

“Ahhh!” Jimmy covered his eyes. He did not want to think about the idea that one day in the future he was going to have intercourse with Timmy ‘two plus five equals six, right?’ Turner. “I need to bleach my eyes and sand down my ears.”

“Same.” Timmy gagged.

Jimmy sat down on the couch. This was too much information, and he really loved information. Not this kind. Never this kind again.

It was utterly mind boggling. How could he- When? 

"Wait, what about us? When did we- You fall for Timmy?" Jimmy asked.

James sighed. "Thirteen."

"What?" Both Timmys said.

"Thirteen? That’s two years from now." Jimmy started panicking. 

There could be no way in hell that he falls in love with Timmy Turner in about two years' time. Yet the proof was in front of him. A life, domestic and cozy with that insane buck-toothed boy. 

"Wait, you never told me you liked me for that long." Timothy said.

"It's cheesy." James said. "It was on a recon mission. So we were gathering information on some mountains. There was a rock slide and Timmy pulled me out of the way."

"That's it?" Timmy tilted his head. "That's kind of boring, if that's all it takes then I guess I won't save you from any falling rocks."

"I don't need saving from falling rocks." Jimmy said.

"Clearly you do." Timmy poked him in the arm.

"Do not! Are there any rocks here?" 

"I wish-"

Jimmy covered Timmy's mouth.

"I fall in love with him? Him? That can't be right... So he saved my life. We save each other all the time. Why was that any different?" Jimmy pleaded to know.

"It just was." A soft smile appeared on James’ face. "I was so grateful when Timmy pulled me out of the way. So many times I had to be the one to think of a way out of the situation, it felt so rare whenever someone else had to do that for me. Yet here Timmy was, constantly doing that. It felt inevitable…"

Jimmy's chest started to feel weird. His hand got wet- Damnit, did Timmy just lick his hand?!

"Ew!" Jimmy ripped his hand away.

“You didn’t let me talk!” Timmy glared.

“You deserve a muzzle.” Jimmy wiped his hand on Timmy’s shirt.

Timmy screamed. 

“Aw, we are so cute.” Timothy cooed. “Wait- Do you have Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof on you?”

“What’s a poof?” Timmy turned to his future self.

Cosmo and Wanda winked into existence over Timmy’s head. 

“You remember us?” Wanda’s eyes widened. 

“Neat!” Cosmo smiled.

Timothy gasped, almost tearing up. “Yeah, Jorgen didn’t take my memories. Saving the multiverse and Fairy World a few times gives you that sort of privilege.”

“We save Fairy World? Multiple times? Us?” Timmy asked. It didn't seem like that far of a stretch. After all, he was on a team dedicated to keeping the multiverse safe.

“Yup. My Cosmo and Wanda retired but they still visit me every so often. I guess Poof hasn’t- I should keep that one a surprise.” Timothy zipped his lips.

“Cool! I get to keep my memories of Cosmo and Wanda.” 

“You were going to forget about them?” Jimmy asked.

“It’s…” Timmy rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “It’s a story for another time.”

Jimmy eyed his friend, “What do you mean-” 

“Who wants cookies?” Timothy clasped his hands, breaking the tension.

“Me!” Timmy got up and ran to the grocery bags, ravaging through them.

Timothy whistled with fake innocence. Jimmy turned to his future self but James only put his hands up.

Whatever. He’ll confront Turner about it later.

“What on Earth possessed you to fall in love with him?” Jimmy gestured to the two Timmys. The fear ran through this heart. There were two of them. Over there, bonding over cookies. The holograms were buzzing with energy.

How the world hadn’t exploded yet was beyond him.

“I’ve spent the last twenty years asking myself that every same question. Why him?” James grabbed a cookie and passed it over to Jimmy. “Long story short; he makes me happy.” He shrugged.

“He’s nothing but a nuisance that causes problems for everyone else to deal with.” Jimmy grabbed the cookie and bit into it angrily.

“We did that a lot as a kid too.”

“Wha- Did not!” Jimmy covered his mouth trying not to let the crumbs fall onto the floor.

James pulled up his hand and started counting off different incidents they were responsible for, “Pants, aliens, nanobots, the N-men, evil clone-”

“Okay.” 

“Addictive candy, permanent sickness, rapid aging, I can keep going.” James gave a mischievous smile. 

“We fixed all of those issues.”

“We also caused them.”

A rebuttal was on the tip of Jimmy’s tongue.

“Oh my God-” Timothy pushed his younger self out of the way to get over to the gaming system. “Is this?”

“Hey!” Timmy pouted, on the floor. 

“It’s exactly what you think it is.” James said.

“It’s not even out yet.” Timothy was completely mesmerized.

“I know. I’m the best.” James put his arms around Timothy’s waist. “I was going to set it up before you got back but I was interrupted.” James glared at the kids. 

“If you’d opened that up without me getting to hear you go on and on about the latest advancements in gaming I would've divorced you.” Timothy kissed James on the cheek.

“You should divorce anyway.” Timmy said in between bites. The crumbs fell onto the wooden floor. 

“Overruled.” Timothy smiled. They began kissing again. 

Jimmy ripped his gaze away from them. Maybe Dictator Libby wasn’t the bad future. Maybe this was the bad future. “Alright. That’s enough.” Timmy stood up. “Cosmo and Wanda, I wish we were back in Jimmy’s lab in our own time!”

---

When they got back to the lab they stood in silence. There was a lot to unpack.

"So, we get married in the future." Timmy started off, breaking the awkward silence.  

"Don't remind me.” Jimmy held his head in his hands. “This is somehow worse than that future where I was married to Cindy."

"Hey! I don't exactly want to get married to you either, calling you Handsome and Sweetbuns." Timmy shivered.

Jimmy covered his ears. "Please stop talking!"

"I can't stop thinking about it!"

"Neither can I!"

"Agh."

"Aghggh!"

They glared at each other. 

Jimmy could never and would never fall in love with Timmy Turner. He simply refused it. 

It was still impossible to wrap his head around it. This was coming from a boy genius who could understand anything.

How could their lives ever lead to marriage? They could barely agree in the present. It made no logical sense. It made less than no sense. It made negative sense.

Wanda and Cosmo transformed back into their default fairy forms. 

“Oh come on, marriage isn't the worst thing in the world. Right sweetie?” She smiled at her husband.

“Marrying Wanda was one of the best decisions I ever made,” Cosmo simpered. 

“Aww,” Wanda cooed.

"It might work out for you two, but for Timmy and I marriage is completely illogical. I cannot believe my future self not only entertained the idea but went forward with it. At least in a heterosexual-"

"Pfft.” Timmy interrupted. “You said sex." 

Cosmo giggled along with Timmy.

“Oh stop it you two,” Wanda said and they stopped.

Jimmy rolled his eyes, "In a male-female relationship there is at least the possibility of bearing offspring."

"Offspring?" Timmy titled his head.

"A baby." Jimmy explained.

"Oh. Yeah no, I can't have a baby.” 

"I can!" Cosmo chimed in. 

Jimmy and Timmy stared at him. Apparently this was also new news to Timmy. It only adds to the theory that perhaps Turner got the holograms from somewhere else. 

Wanda only nodded in confirmation. 

"I'm not addressing that. In a homo-" Jimmy groaned. "A male-male relationship, I could see the potential benefits-"

"See, that's why you're gay in the future." Timmy said. 

"WE ARE BOTH GAY IN THE FUTURE!" Jimmy, honest to God, wanted to lunge at Turner.  

"Lalalalala!" Timmy covered his ears. "Cosmo, Wanda, I wish I couldn't hear Jimmy."

The two holograms did as they were told. They raised their wands, and beams of light with a shower of little sparkles fell from them.

One day Jimmy was going to pop Turner like a balloon. Preferably before their wedding. Scratch that, their wedding day would never happen because Turner would be dead. 

"Real mature, Turner." Jimmy shook his head and crossed his arms. “Can you tell him that I said we need to talk about this?”

“Jimmy says he thinks you should still talk to him.” Cosmo said.

“Nope.” Timmy turned away from Jimmy.  “I’m going to ignore him for the rest of my life.” 

“Timmy says-”

 “I can still hear him Cosmo.” Jimmy cut him off. Cosmo frowned. The hologram was only trying to help. “Thank you though.”

“Timmy, you can't ignore Jimmy forever.” Wanda said.

“Yes, I can.” Timmy crossed his arms. “Watch me.” 

Jimmy walked in front of him, “You’re still in my lab!”

Timmy closed his eyes and turned in another direction.

Jimmy groaned, “I can’t believe my future self would ever agree to marrying you!”

“Jokes on you, Fudgehead. I can't even hear you.” Timmy stuck his tongue out at Jimmy.

Jimmy started violently shaking Turner.

Wanda pointed her wand at Jimmy and dragged him to the other side of the lab.

“Aw, I hate seeing couples fight.” Cosmo said.

“We’re not a couple!” The two kids shouted. 

“Oh no, they’re divorcing.” Cosmo grabbed his wife in fear. “Wanda, we have to fix this.” He shook her.

“They aren't even married yet!” Wanda pushed Cosmo off of her. She looked back at the two boys in front of her. “Err- Will be? Time travel is tricky.”

“I do not want to get married. No way, especially not to peanut skull over there.” Timmy said.

There had to be a way to get out of this situation. He just needed to think, think, t h i n k.

Brain blast. 

“What if we just forget?” Jimmy thought aloud to himself. He started grabbing materials to make a device to forget.

“Forget? Uh, are you sure that’s a good idea kiddo?” Wanda asked.

“I’m very forgetful. I forgot where I put my lawn gnome the other day.” Cosmo said. 

Jimmy spread out the materials and started working on the device, “If we forget then we can live without the burden of knowing our future selves fates.” 

“Wait, what is Jimmy doing?” Timmy looked back and forth between the three of them. “I wish I could hear Jimmy again.” 

Cosmo and Wanda raised their wands. The “wish” came true.

“You’ve finally come to your senses.” Jimmy said flatly.

“What were you saying before?” Timmy asked.

“We clearly don't like knowing we’re married, so let’s change that.” Jimmy started putting the pieces together. “I can build an amnesia ray-” “I saw one back over there.” Timmy pointed in a random direction with a strange amount of conviction. 

“I don’t remember building such a thing.” Jimmy scratched his head, putting down the pieces. “Of course you wouldn’t remember. It’s an amnesia ray. Duh.” Cosmo said.

He almost hated how much that made sense.

“Well, let’s grab it and forget this awful day.” Jimmy saud.

“Wait!” Timmy tackled him. 

“What in the name of Einstein are you doing?” Jimmy tried to glare at Turner but that proved futile. All he could do was kick and punch the air and floor. 

Timmy sat on the genius’ back, “You’re trying to entrap me in a marriage.”

“Excuse me?” Jimmy stopped.

“I know a loophole when I see one. If we forget, then we get married. If we remember, then we won't get married. You want us to get married.”

Jimmy’s jaw dropped. “What?” Darn it, he did not think of it that way. “I don’t want us to get married at all!” 

Timmy narrowed his eyes. “I’m onto your games, Neutron.” 

“That’s enough.” Wanda pointed her wand at the boys and pushed them to opposite sides of the lab. “You two are acting ridiculous. One, marriage isn’t something that just happens. It’s a commitment. One you make every single day. That type of love comes once in a lifetime for humans. Your future selves were deeply in love. They experienced things you’ve yet to, their decision may not make sense now but who’s to say it won’t later down the line?”

“Yuck.” Timmy made a face.

“Absolutely not.” Jimmy folded his arms defiantly.

“Which brings me to point number two, you two are children.” Wanda reminded them.

“So don’t worry so much about marriage.” Cosmo chirped.

“It’s been a long day.” Jimmy yawned. “Maybe we shouldn’t act with such haste.”

“I guess you guys are right. It’s been a crazy day. I wish we could just forget this ever happened.” Timmy sighed.

Jimmy’s eyes widened. “Turner-”

“Wait!” Timmy yelled.

Cosmo’s wand flashed.

---

It was one of those rare days where it was quiet in the lab. Jimmy worked on some projects that he had been avoiding. Carl and Sheen were both independently busy. The multiverse was quiet, well... Aside from one boy with gigantic teeth.

"Jimmy, I'm bored." Timmy Turner said.

"And that is my problem because...?" Jimmy asked as he screwed in a piece for his working prototype for a new communication device.

"Because- Woah!"

Jimmy turned around. It was him but taller? Him as an adult.

Future Jimmy shot a laser at Chrono Arch. It exploded into nothingness.

"What are you doing?" Jimmy ran over to the newly destroyed portal.

"You two keep going into the future, get freaked out, decide to forget, go back into the future, get freaked out- It's annoying. Cute the first few times, but I'm at my limit." Future Jimmy threw a small box towards Timmy. "Have fun."

Timmy caught the box, "Decimator 2: Destiny's Revenge. Cool! This isn't even out yet." 

"He's so easily entertained." Future Jimmy said, with a slight fondness.

"Do you remember the last time he had a copy of Decimator?" Jimmy glared at his future self, trying to get a hold of Timmy but he already ran away to cause chaos.

"Of course I do, you can handle it. You always do." Future Jimmy ruffled his hair. 

"Hey!" Jimmy tried to fix his hair.

"Take care. Don't try to kill each other." Future him punched something onto his wrist device. They made eye contact. “I shouldn't say anything but, good luck. I promise it will be worth the wait.”

“What’s worth the wait?” Jimmy asked.

Future Jimmy only glanced at Timmy. 

Before Jimmy could ask what he meant but his future self already left. 

“Uh… Jimmy. I think I broke something.” Timmy held up the broken prototype Jimmy was working on not even three minutes ago.

Oh. 

Oh, a thousand deaths for Timmy Turner. His future self was definitely talking about planning the perfect method to get rid of one of the most idiotic children he ever had to meet. That had to be it. There was no other logical explanation. Turner’s death would be wonderful and it would be worth the wait.

[keplercryptids]

Hi! I'd love your advice/thoughts if you have the time: a friend is interested in trying ttrpgs. Theyre, uh, scifi/fantasy-curious? (such a normie & I love them for it) They love strategy games and stories but are a little nervous about the freeform/rp elements. I'd really like to NOT use 5e as the intro game but having a lot of trouble thinking of another good option for someone who has zero sff/ttrpg background.. (I love reading about your new campaign 🥰) thank you!

hi! there's a bunch of possibilities and almost certainly your friend will need to try out multiple things to find something they really vibe with, but! here are some suggestions. i tried to include a wide variety in terms of mechanics, vibes, genre etc.

Savage Worlds. this system is setting-neutral so it can be as SFF (or not!) as you like. it has some mechanical crunch but not nearly as much as, say, d&d or pathfinder so it's likely easier for beginners to pick up. easy to prepare encounters on the gm side and character creation is super customizable.

Fiasco. this is a gm-less oneshot-style game that i think does a great job of dropping players into narrative roleplay with JUST enough guidance from the rules. the game is designed to simulate a caper gone wrong. all players share narrative control, which can be intimidating for newbies, but is also great practice of doing that kind of thing.

Shadowdark, for a dungeon-delving OSR style game. i haven't gotten the chance to play this myself but I've read through the rulebook and hope to run some games someday. the rules are not as complicated as d&d, but still provide great structure and opportunity for strategy. there's also a cool real-time element of tracking light sources (each torch only lasts for one IRL hour) which is fun. i feel like it's a good introduction to old-school style ttrpgs with a modern twist.

systems like Powered by the Apocalypse (i.e. Monster of the Week) and Forged in the Dark (i.e. Blades in the Dark, Scum and Villainy) are narrative-driven and fiction-focused games that are often recommended for beginner players. IMO, these kinds of games really push players (and GMs!) to approach games entirely from the fiction side of things, which can be challenging, especially if your friend isn't comfortable with that kind of thing yet. i did want to suggest them though because they might be the flavor of game your friend would enjoy, and there's a ton of varied genres within these systems.

and finally, if you're looking for a mechanically crunchy game similar to d&d that's better than d&d, Pathfinder 2e is your friend. it's high fantasy and rules heavy, so it may not be the vibe, but if your friend is looking for strategy, combat, and tons of character options, pf2e is great. (and, importantly, all the rules are free online!)

[rodolfoparras]

Okay I gotta complain for a moment

Dorian, the company that bought The Arcana (?? Or brought it onto their team, Dorian doesn't make games themselves but helps others), made a modern story dating sim version of The Arcana and I am NOT the biggest fan 😭

I never played it but the way they dressed and characterized them just from their cards. I edited the cards to be side by side for reference for their casual outfits and info

LUCIO IN AXE BODY SPRAY???? NUH UH. He'd have a very expensive, fancy cologne that's like 3k for a few ounces bro. And something bugs me about his clothes, and I think it's the jacket.

Yes, Portia has a cat, but she would NOT wear the cat thigh highs in that fit?? She looks like she's about to do yard work??? Get her a sun hat, gloves and clippers bruh, maybe some knee pads instead to keep her knees safe. I cannot see her wearing that fit very casually either

Muriel would be a chronic sweater wearer, soft and comfy, but not that.... Especially the jacket tied in his waist. (Hell on earth that Muriel can't even escape the violence in the modern age)

In my head, I think Julian would be a LITTLE flashier. All the drip that boys got is a WATCH?? He's probably wear a necklace or something.. and probably piercings, at least his ears

Idk about Nadia... Something about her fit is... Wrong to me.

Asra looks good, me thinks. I almost see him wearing flowy skirts tho... Almost hippie-ish but not quite...

Learning to draw solely to fix these designs up

I've heard a few people say that they don't even know the characters any anymore and a lot of them are fandomized which is devastating. And with the way they present the characters with the extra Arcana game stuff makes me wanna agree

Anyways, sorry 😭😭 I just couldn't stop thinking about it, they irk me so bad, hoping the other anons get it

-🐧

I tried Dorian today!!! I played the modern story of arcana just see what the fuss was about since I keep getting ads for it and I decided I didn’t like it! I don’t like how the game is set up. For example if you want to charm Lucio you have to pick really obnoxious dialogue choices. I understand he’s self centered and what not but I don’t understand why I have to be that as well to charm him. If anything I’d love to have dialogue choices that do not reflect his personality because there’s no reason for me as a private investigator (that you are in the game) to come to a party to investigate a crime and say “woooooo partying all week sounds like so much fun”??

And although I don’t know the characters super well I too dislike the jacket 😭it feels like they did try to stay true to the characters but still keep it modern but it doesn’t look right with Lucio and it certainly doesn’t look right with Portia. I do have to say I liked Muriel’s suit but the casual outfit is certainly something Julian kind of reminds me of an eboy and it certainly doesn’t match his original style 😭

[temporalhiccup]

Heeeeeeeeeeey everybody, it's my birthday!

It's a big one too, I turn 40 today! ❤️

I thought I'd put some of the "Essential Rae Games" on sale to celebrate!

This is a highly personal write up of these games that reflect my time so far in game design, so I apologize if they don't accurately represent what the game is, whoops.

Become One is my first foray into the itchio ttrpg scene, the first time I put out a game on the internet! This was for the sad mecha game jam, and started out as a four page game.

Honestly, this game holds up extremely well, and every time I come back and play it, I'm surprised at how this game plays way beyond my actual design level of the time.

But, to this day, I have yet to make another mech game (as much as I love the genre) or make a game that works so well as a one shot (I have tried and failed over the years haha)

It's funny that this first public game of mine contains so many themes that show up in almost all of my games. Emotions, memory, my absolute distaste for hit points in ttrpgs...

Our Haunt was my first attempt at making a Belonging Outside Belonging game and since then I have made...uh...a lot of BoB games, hah! BoB remains one of my favorite systems to design in, and the poetic constraints have made me a much better designer. I still think there's so much to explore within the BoB space! Coming back to Our Haunt two years later for the final release, and redesigning it to reflect all that I've learned, was really fun!

This is also my first game to actually get published and printed, after making TTRPGs for four years(!!!). I don't have direct access to things like Kickstarter or similar crowdfunding platforms (I'm a Filipino in the Philippines, global south woes, etc), so being able to finally see one of my games in physical book form was...wow. I can't describe it. Absolutely surreal.

Also I kinda wonder how much of Our Haunt's success is because I made a playbook that's basically being a cat. I wrote it for my partner, who is...basically a cat. (He absolutely loves it)

We Forest Three is one of the few solo games I've designed, and it was certainly the most difficult to write. It's essentially a choose your own adventure ttrpg, and I keep wondering if I've become a strong enough designer to come back and try making another game that follows a similar structure. Hah!

I think this game shows my obsession with the conflict between extremes: forest and city, supernatural beings and humans, family and the individual, love and horror.

This is also the game that notoriously everyone else has had better luck than me! Whenever I play this game, I die a horrible death 90% of the time. (I usually roll the worst stats, augh) Good thing I wrote those (many, many) deaths to be really fun I guess!

BALIKBAYAN is undoubtedly the game that caught everyone's attention. Many amazing opportunities have come my way because BALIKBAYAN made such an impression! I really really should get around to uploading the current version of the game, but even this version on itch is a great. I'm proud of smashing together a distinctly 90s anime cyberpunk vibe with Filipino myth and folktales, while also pushing back against Shadowrun's idea that magic and tech are two opposing forces. Instead, magic and machinery are the same thing in BALIKBAYAN.

I'm also really glad that this game has connected to so many Filipinos in other countries, and resonated with them so deeply. It reminds me that even though I'm still perceived a foreigner in my own country (because I'm bi-racial), I can still connect to others like me through games.

One more thing I'll say is that I think BALIKBAYAN has unfortunately given people the impression that I'm very cool, only for them to meet me and realize I'm a dork. Sorry friends, I just write cool games, I'm actually dreadfully uncool.

Spectrum of Horror is a really fun experimental story game, that works well solo and with other people. I try to incorporate using the tarot in a way that's closer to how a tarot deck actually works.

I think this is (one of many) examples of why I would design straight into layout: Spectrum of Horror is technically eight micro games, and each one takes up a single spread. (Of course, a better designer than me could just figure it out with word count or whatever, but there you go)

Also here's a secret: all of the redacted words are still readable. You just have to select and copy the text from the PDF and paste it somewhere else to see what I wrote, heh.

Brinkwood: Despair (still under its original title on my itch page, whoops) means so much to me, because it's my first FAN GAME. I loved someone else's TTRPG just that much that I had to write a prequel for it.

(I LOVE BRINKWOOD SO MUCH THAT I EVEN WROTE ANOTHER GAME FOR IT, but I'll talk about Brinkwood: Refuge another time!)

I think all of my games are games that are in response to other games, really. But Despair has such a special place in my heart because 1) I just LOVE Brinkwood that much 2) I really cherish the playtest memories I have from when I ran games on the Brinkwood discord server 3) Erik has been really generous with inviting other designers to create things in the space of his game.

Despair is almost finished (thanks to @ostrichmonkey-games helping me out on it) and I can't wait for folks to see the finished version!

Shitty Adventurers is here because, like Cozy Town, I think it's one of the few that are so unlike the rest of my games.

I'm not a very funny person. I'm like, your typical serious Capricorn. The best I can manage, only in front of a few people, is dark humor. I'm really shocked I managed to make this game, to be honest. (Tho humor is incredibly subjective, I have no idea if this game is actually really funny)

I think because this game is so outside of my "brand", and comedy TTRPGs aren't in high demand (afaik!), this game tends to get overlooked. Still, I've heard some wonderful stories from folks who've played the game!

Memory Hunter is a prequel to BALIKBAYAN, and it's also another tentative foray into OSR inspired games. I say tentative, but I'm also really proud of the writing and design here! I released Memory Hunter this year recently and it didn't seem to make too much of an impression, but I hope that if I keep working on game expansions that'll change!

There are many reasons I haven't felt comfortable or confident enough to create more games in the OSR space, but over the past year it's become more inviting! I'm really grateful that Tony Vacinda of Plus One EXP immediately offered to publish it (and Tony in general has been one of the most positive forces in the indie ttrpg space, for sure!)

I'm really looking forward to creating more things for Memory Hunter!

[decks-writing-blog]

Here to Stay Drabbles: Patience For Bullshit

Summary: Maybe they could visit an arcade or amusement park at some point.

~

Benrey had it this time for sure. The claw was positioned perfectly above the chocobo plush. His previous attempts had loosened it from the pile, placing it on top it instead of within, leaving it at the perfect angle for the claw to easily grab. It basically belonged to him already. Not that the prize even mattered anymore. It was winning that was important. And he had it in the bag.

He pressed the button. The claw descended, opening wide. It closed on the chocobo’s body, a firm grip for sure this time. The claw ascended, bringing the plush with it. It slipped a little but remained held so it was fine. But then it slipped a little more when the claw started for the hole. And then a little more and then a bit more before finally falling right next to the hole. Not down it, next to it. A second later the claw opened above the hole, dropping nothing.

“What the fuck?” Benrey gripped the sides of the machine and gave it a firm shake. It was too heavy and the wall around the prize hole too tall to wriggle the chocobo into it. “Is it broken?” It had to be, right? He’d had it that time. It had been lined up perfectly, the claw’s grip should’ve been secure, it had certainly looked it.

Still at his shoulder, Gordon laughed. Him finding humor in it eased the sting a bit. Benrey would’ve laughed if he’d seen that happen to someone else too. But still… Benrey turned to look at him. “It’s not funny. We should tell the arcade people it’s broken.” Before Benrey broke it even worse.

Gordon chuckled again before reigning himself in. “You give up?”

“No. It’s broken though, we gotta make them fix it.” Losing he could handle because he could always try again, being cheated though was something else entirely. He’d technically run out of tokens a while ago and was just discreetly stealing them back now to try again. There was no way the machine wasn’t busted. He’d come far too close too many times.

“I got bad news for you, dude. It’s not broken. It’s purposefully designed to be like that.”

“What?” There was no way that was true. It was a game like all the other games in the arcade, it was meant to be won.

“The pressure on the claw’s grip is purposefully set super low to make it hard to win anything so you’ll keep putting money into it. Or in this case tokens, but if you run out of tokens, you gotta buy more. This one seems particularly egregious about it too. Or maybe it’s just been a long time since I last played one of these.”

Benrey didn’t want to believe it but what would Gordon gain from such a lie? He gained more from having kept it to himself this long while watching Benrey try and fail against a rigged system over and over. It’s what Benrey would’ve done in his place. … He was going to have to do it to Bubby later if he could. It’d be fun to watch him struggle a bit.

“I was planning on telling you after only a few plays,” Gordon continued, “but I was kinda wondering how long it would take before you got annoyed by it. Which uh…” he glanced towards the clock on the arcade's far wall, “took a bit longer than I thought it would. You got a lot of patience for bullshit. It’s admirable, actually.”

Benrey did have a lot of patience for bullshit. He was out of it now though. Turning back to the machine, he glanced towards the security camera, being sure to not look directly at it of course. He waited until it was swiveling away before phasing his hand through the glass and snatching his prize by the neck and quickly pulling it out and stuffing it into his hoodie pocket before the camera could turn back onto them. Probably with how close it had been to the hole, he could’ve gotten it through with one more play but the machine was rigged and thus he was entitled to a little cheating too. More than he had been before with stealing his tokens back.

“You know,” Gordon said, “I think at this point, that’s not even really stealing anymore. Just be sure to keep it hidden ‘til we get home. For now though, let’s go get some more tokens and then play some real games, huh?”

“Yeah.” Benrey would happily play literally anything else, even just the shitty light roulette game that was one short step away from being just plain gambling was better than a rigged game pretending to be skill-based.

[timemachineyeah]

Hi, I really appreciate your points on Madoka! Thank you for providing that insight that is so desperately needed! Because I am so sick of dudebros acting like it's better than female-empowering Magical Girl works aimed at girls, or how whenever I or somebody else critiques the storytelling and message we just get told "Madoka is perfectly feminist actually and if you don't think so then you're just too stupid to understand how DEEEEEEEP it is go back to your stupid sweet and fluffy anime that's for GUUUUURLS" or alternatively "oh so female characters can't ever suffer ever and have to be happy all the time ever or it's misogynistic trash?!?!?!?! check and mate bitch" like I am just so tired. I'm glad to see your posts even though some of them are quite old. I have to say thank you once again for your genuine critique of Madoka because at this point I feel like I'm being punked whenever I talk about what's wrong with it.

Sorry! I saw this earlier and completely forgot to answer!

My few posts have given me a reputation as a Madoka hater (and, fair enough, because I certainly don't blame anyone who is. Please hate Madoka all you like). The truth is I really do like the original show quite a bit, but YEAH.

YEAH.

I think the thing that gets most exhausting for me, over and over, is bringing up these criticisms and being told, "No! Because Madoka fixed all that!" and even ignoring Rebellion (which I am inclined to do anyway), the girls still die.

They die.

The happy ending is a montage of girls dying. Which is a happy ending only because what they were getting before (specifically as a consequence of choosing to be a magical girl) was a fate worse than death.

And it's worth noting how the incubators are portrayed. They aren't portrayed as malicious. They aren't "evil" in that sense. What they are is practical and indifferent. They are taking advantage of inherent factors in the universe, not creating those factors.

Which means that there's something about PMMM that is saying, this is reality. At least in this fiction, this is the reality of femininity. And it is inherent to femininity! Kyubey even explains - it's weird! But only teen girls are like this! That's why we use them!

I think it's fair to be like, hey, that's fucked up. What kind of gender essentialist fatalism? Bro?

And it's also just denial to pretend it isn't about fanservice or a male audience.

As anyone who's been on my blog recently will know, I'm kinda super into Love Live! right now. It's cute. It scratches an itch.

And there's a lot of plausible deniability built into it, and a lot of pushback from English speaking fandom about it, but, uh, Love Live! is an idol game but it's also a waifu collector.

It's also a catalogue of nonthreateningly sexual anime teenage girls specifically designed to appeal first and foremost to lonely awkward Japanese young working men with disposable income.

And, idk, knowing that doesn't impede my ability to find it cute and wholesome and fun and escapist. The fact that it is that does lead to some of creative decisions that make the series less fun for me (it's not very diverse, for example. The yuri elements are subtext for another. And I either wish the girls were less sexualized or older, personally). But I'm not going to deny what it is.

I'm not even particularly interested in shaming the men its aimed at for liking it, or shaming the creators for making it that way per se (well, okay, sometimes I am interested in shaming the creators a lil bit). But I do think most the things about it that read as feminist to me as an American read that way because I am so far outside the original intended subculture. And I think the same is true about Madoka. You can absolutely read feminist messages in it. I certainly do. But placing these works in their original contexts tells a very different much more... regressive? picture. They were not made for women and girls. They are not made to uplift women and girls. They CAN! And they DO! Both in Japan and elsewhere! But that's anywhere from (at best) a secondary market to (at worst) a complete accident.

It's hard for some people to wrap their heads around because in America at least I think the idea of a "cute" (even if that's subverted in Madoka) media starring a large cast of only girls being for men is pretty alien to how we do stories and marketing. Here we understand playboy magazines and swimsuit editions, but we don't understand men collecting merch of a cute fictional girl they like. It would be seen as emasculating.

We understand the reverse. We get that boy bands and anime like Free! can be aimed squarely at women while being comprised entirely of men or male characters. Which is part of why I'm not shaming the male audiences, because... desiring anime tiddy isn't inherently predatory anymore than a lady desiring anime ass. And that's a crass way of putting it anyway. We don't frame hanging a boy band poster up that way, or playing a game like Mystic Messenger. It becomes more complicated because we live in a complicated patriarchal structure that protects and empowers men and women differently and unequally, but that seems like a poor reason to try to tell individual men they aren't allowed to enjoy things in a way that is obviously natural and parallels how... most humans like to enjoy some things sometimes.

But that also doesn't mean we can't look at those broad cultural patterns and... make observations. And have criticisms. And talk about how it affects people, and the back and forth between media and culture.

But, Madoka is for men first. The girls' suffering is a form of male gaze, and pretty unambiguously a kind of very very softcore torture porn for male gamer types. That's not a judgment against it, that's just its literal intended share of the market. It's a pretty easy read if you understand the context in which it was released and the culture it is coming from and catering to. My Little Pony is a little girls toy franchise. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sells toys to boys. Home & Gardens is for housewives. Top Gear is for car dads. These are true even if other people like them. When an adult fan of children's cartoons (I say, as an adult fan of children's cartoons) tries to say, "But it's not really a kids cartoon!" I feel about the same way I do when a feminist fan of some clearly male-centric media says, "But it's not really!"

And that's - own your shit. Own it. It's fine. It's fine to like it. It's fine to love it. It's fine if it means the world to you. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you if you like a media that maybe isn't the most mature or progressive masterpiece out there. Just don't pretend there's no validity in obvious criticism. I love some real garbage made by real garbage people. I have survived.

Madoka exists in a fictional universe where the laws of that fictional universe are that 1) girls are uniquely emotional, 2) that emotion and their own aspirations can easily be harnessed against them in such a way that in the best possible universe all it does it kill them. In the normal universe it turns them into evil witches. That's just true. That's the world. I'm allowed to look at that, especially in conversation with magical girl media that came before, and go, "you know what? in that context, that's pretty fucked up" and it doesn't even mean that I stop liking the show, so I don't see why everyone else has to get so defensive about it.

(Y'all have no idea. Those posts are old now, but I got so many asks. I had to block so many people. I'm not trying to take your precious anime away calm down.)

Idk if I completely agree with the tone of my original posts - there's a little bit of offhanded vilifying of "men" as a shorthand for... all the bullshit... and I no longer love that language. I love men. Men are people. Some men can be shitty, but shitty individual men and patriarchy aren't the same. But I do still agree with all my broad points.

Plus, yes, also. The thing of a new (often male) fanbase getting into something you've been into for a long time with some new entry and acting like it both invented and fixed everything about the genre (PMMM and magical girls, Friendship is Magic and girl cartoons, Stardew Valley and farming sims) is frustrating, and to hear many an incurious nerd tell it, magical girls were floundering before Madoka! And I hate that.

Anyway, oops, I went on a little rant. That still makes it look like I don't like Madoka. I actually really do like the original series. I have rewatched it multiple times and probably will again. I even tried to play Magia Record (briefly - I couldn't really get into it). I can't speak to the many many spinoff media - but those have so many different writers and so much different lore that I think it'd probably be hard to try to pin any kind of single ethos to the franchise as a whole any more. But while I couldn't get into Magia Record I'd bet there's a short manga story or something that I'd love at this point. When you make like 200 magical girls or whatever that's bound to happen.

Thanks for the ask. Sorry Madoka fans are still so hyper defensive apparently. I hope you are able to survive them and find some better magical girl series out there. <3

[bloomdigital]

#DevBlog: Bringing gender/sexuality into the conversation (with variables!)

A good piece of critique should haunt you. When someone (respectfully) points out a valid flaw or possible improvement, it sticks in your brain.

I don’t remember exactly when, but a player pointed out (respectfully) that they loved the relationship story with Marcel but found it weird that cagey, PDA-hating, UAE-born Marcel didn’t even comment on the fact that he fell for another boy in their playthrough. That’s not to say the Emirates exports raging homophobes… but there are certainly human rights infringements and cultural baggage.

As a queer storyteller, there’s the temptation to just let that be. Lots of us deal with enough homophobia/transphobia in real life, it’s nice to exist in a world where we’re not facing off with it in every conversation. There’s the other option, “playersexual”, where you can romance characters regardless of the player character’s gender. I actual really like the “playersexual” option, there’s nothing as frustrating as getting into a romanceable character only for the romance route in front of you to slam shut…

[cough cough] Cullen in DAI or River Ward in Cyberpunk 2077… [cough cough]

But human relationships are complex. Even if a person dates people regardless of their gender, presentation and sexuality, how they interact in a relationship may change depending on their partner(s)’s identity. Even beyond romantic relationships, an enby person dealing with shopping for clothes might have a different experience than a cisgender woman, who would have a different experience than a cisgender man. You get the idea.

So haunted by the Marcel-dating-a-boy observation, I wanted to see how we could play around with that in LongStory 2.

Ladies, gentlemen, enby cuties and cryptids, I present: var_presentation and var_pronouns

Quick explainer: In game design terms, a variable is a condition, choice or quantity captured and stored by the game you’re playing. The classic variable you’ll see is the binary True or False, but things like whichever trash baby you’ve declared your undying love to in Baldur’s Gate 3, or how many dragon bones you have in Roadwarden, or which Wonders you’ve built in Civilization… uh, whatever one they’re on right now… are variables the game might check later to give you different options or outcomes.

Variables can also be strung together into combos, usually using “and” and “or” statements. You’ve done “this” or “that,” you’ve unlocked “this” and “that other thing” and “this other thing” too.

Our new variables are set while creating your character in LS2’s yearbook. var_presentation’s conditions are “masc” and “femme”, while var_pronouns’ are “They”, “He” and “She”. Without boiling things down to something gender essentialist, we can make some assumptions about characters that hopefully aren’t too jarring in terms of game logic. Someone who is var_pronouns “He” probably identifies as a boy to some degree, “She” will probably identify as a girl, while someone who chooses “They” pronouns probably identifies as non-binary in some way, no matter what their presentation is. This gets even more fun when you use other combinations. How might a character who uses “She” pronouns but chooses “masc” presentation interact with the world, and vice versa?

We’re not interested in you walking into every single conversation and having the character go “HELLO YOU USE ‘HE’ PRONOUNS AND ‘MASC’ PRESENTATION, THEREFORE YOU ARE A BOY.” But it does give us a little more complexity to play with. So back to Marcel.

Let’s take a look at what’s going on here, game logic-wise. If you’re dating Marcel, you come to this dialogue branch. The game asks what pronoun you use: “He”. If you use something other than “He”, it elses you to the next section.

When I first wrote this scene I had it much more rigidly structured. To get this section of dialogue you had to be “He” AND “masc”—otherwise you would’ve gotten elsed—but I realized that was dumb. Boys can wear frickin’ skirts. So I cut the var_presentation check, but added in a little flourish if “His” presentation is “femme.”

Again, that’s not to say Marcel can’t be queer in some way if he’s dating a girl, or a non-binary person—actually, come to think of it, adding in some enby dialogue here would be really fun too… But by the game’s logic (and the principles of heterosexism!) Marcel went away to Dubai and didn’t really have to think about what it meant to date a girl. He has enough on his plate already.

We use these variables in other places too—a non-binary character gets some enby recognition from enby superstar Em, or the additional tension of back to school clothes shopping with your mom. Again, our goal with this isn’t to make gender and sexuality something rigid and prescribed. We just want to give our players the chance to explore a range of relationships, identities and stories!

BECOME A BACKER BY PREORDERING LONGSTORY 2 NOW!

[elysianstars]

So I was really on the fence about Fire Emblem: Engage, but then thought hey, I’ve played six other FE games and enjoyed them all, odds are good I’d enjoy another. This was the CORRECT CHOICE.

Gameplay was great. I spent several days just messing around in regular skirmishes, got carried away, then ended up overlevelled for the main story maps. Story was by turns ridiculously cheesy, predictable, and then punching me square in the heart. Characters are a bunch of fun anime blorbos. Sommie now leads an army of about fifty stray cats and dogs, RIP to anyone with allergies who hopes for an audience with the Divine Dragon.

No, I don’t mind that there’s less deep worldbuilding and grey morality compared to Three Houses, because sometimes I just want to enjoy a colourful fairytale where Good curbstomps Evil and then everyone lives happily ever after. Y’know, to balance out the cynical capitalist hellscape that is real actual life.

Spoilers abound under the cut, also tl;dr, apparently I have a lot to say about this game.

I chose male Alear, because his design bothers me less than the female one (she looks simultaneously more childlike and more sexualised, which uh, is not my cup of tea). He ended up reminding me a lot of Corrin in some ways - sweet and kind, a bit naive, amnesiac getting gaslighted due to past childhood trauma and having a giant evil dragon god as a father, y’know, little things like that.

Honestly, the Chapter 11 battle was less painful than watching his give them back please give them back routine over the Emblem Rings. Honey, they’re the villains, they’re not gonna do that just because you keep asking. But he got it together as the game progressed, and I was incredibly relieved when he said no to being blackmailed over the Queen of Solm’s life. And then we got his double death, which was silly on the part of the writers, but did showcase him being brave and sweet, AND THEN CHAPTER 24. His voice actor did a great job there. My heart was in pieces when he started chanting ‘defect, defect’, like no excuse me you are actually perfect. Even your hairstyle, which we now know is actually plot relevant and not just an Interesting Choice on the designer’s part. And even if you can’t turn into a proper dragon (though it would have been fun if he did that in the early chapters, wouldn’t it? All his allies expect a shining white Lumera clone, and what they get is either a mini Sombron or some type of messed up hybrid, and Alear himself doesn’t know why either. There’s a dramatic start to an AU fic). 

I didn’t care about the Emblems, they were just a game mechanic that gave me flashy magical girl transformations, and even the ones I recognised like Corrin and Byleth didn’t stir anything (I actually prefer male Corrin and female Byleth). But I understood why Alear in particular cared about them, at least. The Four Hounds...well, I liked their theme tune, and I’m sure some people are delighted with Griss, that wacky little masochist. They certainly had admirable escape skills, the number of different times they turned up for battle. Or maybe nobody ever explained the concept of taking prisoners to Alear.

Loved Alfred, loved Ivy and both her weirdo retainers. The weapon triangle meant nothing by the end of the game, I could charge Alear or Kagetsu towards a pack of blue enemies or Alfred towards greens, and it didn’t matter because they’d just dodge and laugh. Flower crown boy got the pact ring, because I heard what happens to him otherwise and that is Not Allowed. They’re so sweet and stupid together.

I bought the DLC after completing the main story, because I wanted more maps to play, and then eventually the Xenologue. Congratulations Nintendo, you have wheedled another chunk of money from me and it was well spent.

[belltrigger]

Oh for the character bingo heheh so. Picking feferi because its funny XD. And then Karamatsu and then Emmet!

Aha! Thanks for asking! ♪(´▽｀)

*-Feferi-*

So Feferi huh? With Feferi I am torn! I was not interested in her during the run of the comic, and her connection to HIC (and *her* treatment of The Ψiioniic) kind of made me distrust her. That being said, I do think the general fandom is rather mean towards her. Saying she's boring is kind of lackluster to me; there's a lot to her, a lot of things that happen as a result of (or lack of) her actions. Blaming her entirely for Eridan's outburst is pretty unfair, I think. I've never been a big fan of the "man going berserk because a woman spurned him, so it's her fault" trope.

I do like her design, though! She does need a bit of a bite for being the "fancy free princess" type. Haha

*-Karamatsu-*

I didn't start out with Karamatsu as my favorite. I actually went in expecting for Choromatsu to be my favorite (because of Hiroshi Kamiya ehe. I was on a big kick for him at the time.) But this poor cringefail lad who seemed to actually be trying his best won me over.

The other characters make fun of his outfits but. Uh. Other than having his face on it, I like his style a lot. (Sorry Totty, but your outfits are literally the worst. I hate them so much.)

Karamatsu is silly, and does his best, and I want him to be successful in whatever he wants to do. In fact! I want him to be able to do the things he likes while also having a healthy relationship with his brothers. He loves them a lot, even when he gets mad at them, or frustrated with them (or gets ignored by them （＞人＜；）

*-Emmet-*

(You may notice there is a faint circle around the SQUEAK square. I didn't fully circle it because it's not my intention to squish the poor lad, it just kind of happens.) Into the salad spinner he goes!!

As you can probably see from how Emmet and his brother have consumed my blog, I am completely normal about him :) I certainly don't think of head-canons and scenarios about him all the time!

Of course, despite me being really normal about him, Emmet is probably my favorite of the twins, if I *HAD* to say I preferred one over the other. He's funny and I like that he's always smiling! I love that he and Ingo are identical twins with matching black and white aesthetics, and are so angled! His relationship with Ingo being slightly different in each version of him is also so interesting!! They're close in all of them, but there are little changes that are so fun to explore.

I choose to think that Hisui's timeline is a completely separate universe, and therefore not the end goal for every version of Emmet and Ingo. Some people seem to want other games (including remakes) to involve the fact that Ingo is lost in Hisui, but I would rather that not happen! Fandom is doing an excellent job experimenting with it, and having something canon that is tragic may just make me too sad (*╯^╰)

Oh yeah! I prefer to call him Kudari when I can! Nobori and Kudari just sound very matching to me, compared to Ingo and Emmet. It's a nice aethetic! But, when I switch between the Japanese names and the English names, it's easier for me to say Emmet than Ingo.

[wickedbaggins]

Year End Wrap-ups

Why not. Here’s the first list. Games I played a lot of, but absolutely will not finish in the next week. Because they’re huge games.

cyberpunkdreams A Fallen London clone, i.e. a text RPG where the primary gameplay is clicking on storylets (i.e. "I am scouring the streets for resources") and slowly building up qualities and trading them for other qualities, i.e. a story-rich grind game. This certainly has a better balance of story-to-grind than the endless middle of Fallen London than I'm stuck on. It also does some interesting things with gender presentation and I'm not even 100% sure I hate how deliberate every major and many minor actions have to be (are you dressed appropriately to go to that place? Do you have enough bullets to do this thing?). It is, however, still a lot of grind and a lot of grind in a really aggressively unpleasant setting and a lot of grind in a game with permadeath. There's more than a seed of something really good here, but it's also kind of a drain to play in every way. Done with it again. Elden Ring Ah yes, the game that finally pushed me into the "oh, I can play difficult action RPGs" bucket and also, really, "I enjoy difficult action RPGs". I'm not great at playing on our PS5 and have just picked this up again on PC, the better to start it again with a somewhat-less magic-heavy build, and it's a fun and compelling game. Part of what makes it great is the horsie. Fantastic horsie. Fast as thought and jumps like a hare. Zipping across the map rather than careful, iterative progression is a joy and what makes this From Software game by far the most accessible. Kynseed A life sim more than a farming sim, and sort of a hodgepodge of systems at that. The narrative appears to be largely "uh, keep engaging with our systems and numbers will tick up", but it is enjoyable for all that. The combat is chunky and on the difficult side, and the pixel art is incredible and if you don't really feel like farming, it's a pretty small percentage of what you do. The mini-games -- well, they're trying to rebalance them. One day I may successfully make jam. Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Second attempt's the charm, I guess. It's a marvelous game to wander around, but the horsie is not as good as in Elden Ring, which is a bit of a problem. On the other hand, glider. Wonderful glider. Get up high and go soaring over the landscape. There is also a plot which is engaging, it is, but I do honestly find any interruption to exploring the map a comparative chore. Monster Hunter Rise The ultimate kill-beautiful-monsters-to-make-pants simulator and it's a lot of fun with great designs. Some real pathos in killing these magnificent creatures, though. Humans-as-endurance predators. Sometimes hard to hear the frustrated, furious wail as I corner some great fur-or-feathered scaly thing in its den yet again. Nioh 2 Hard-as-shit, but more generous than a from software game in giving you tons of gear and anima-soul-bits. Colorful, too, palette of greens and reds, over-the-top storytelling that's still elliptical and hard to follow. You turn into a yokai but it helps less than you might think. :( A good time. Meditative in a strange way. Lots of weapon variety. also dress-up elements. Red Dead Redemption 2 The great cowboy life-sim and dress-up game where you do in fact have to shoot people sometimes and ruin your groove of dominos-playing, theater-watching, and sunset ambling. Should actually approach the plot again. Horsies are of course essential. Don’t leave home without one. Stardew Valley Finally dug into this 'un, but didn't quite complete a year of game time on the Switch. Gonna restart on PC with some mods to get the full-plus-extra experience now. I'm starting to sort of get the groove of farming sims, if I still don't understand why this particular one sits so high for so many people. Really like fishing mini-games, maybe?? Witcher 3 Wild Hunt I've played it before! Here I am playing it again. Turns out I forgot huge chunks of this huge-ass RPG with dozens and dozens of short stories appended to its main quest and it's a pleasure to revisit, even if I don't have any appreciation for the Bloody Baron storyline in This Year of Hells. Xenoblade Chronicles 3 I may still want it to be Xenoblade X, but I actually like this cast of 3, even if I do get less interested in the main plot as it continues (a common problem). The main antagonists are appealingly bonkers and making each settlement its own node with its own successive sidequests is a good touch. The landscape is beautiful and endless. I write about it and do want to go back to it. Perhaps after Harvestella??

[videogametako]

steam next fest feb 2024: plushie from the sky

anime girl souls-like, cute. link here

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1679510/Plushie_from_the_Sky/

we're in tutorial land, a land of joy and whimsy

lowered graphics twice to reduce lag (laptop could not handle)

overview

so uh as the name implies we kinda just fall out of the sky and we go through the tutorial (see above screenshots)

when we're done with that we once again fall from the sky into

yeah, with how slow this loaded on my computer i died a few times immediately lol, it asks you to immediately learn to fly without pausing time (which i think devs should consider doing)

an enemy spawns right beside your save point too uh i'm not agreeing with some of the design decisions here ngl

the enemy isn't that hard though. i kinda like the weird enemy designs contrasted with the player character's whimsical joyous kid stuff. it's certainly quirky (as the devs put it) and having an anime girl fight a cactus monster with a monkey plush first thing is a neat way to set the game's atmosphere

mechanics

the controls feel like a bit of a mess, but maybe it's just because i'm not used to souls-likes? regardless, judge for yourself

dashing barely depletes stamina so all you basically have to manage is melee attacking and rolling. ideally. i say ideally because stamina never really felt like a problem. also you can kinda just blitz past enemies, though i wanted to feel how combat is and it's how i expected it. ranged attacks need ammo but cost no stamina and you engage from a distance, and melee attacks are pretty strong bc they seem to always stagger enemies? upon further inspection it's more like, as long as they aren't already attacking which makes more sense

chests and critters to collect, pretty standard

recovery mechanic, you get a cute bed like when you save. it charges when you melee combat, fair enough. though i didn't expect meeting a boss so soon after this, i was engaging a mob then suddenly the big cactus thing just rolls up in the background and there we are

weak point. i was mainly just jumping around and switching between melee and range attacks and it died. yippee

anyway right after i discovered that rolls have no cooldown between them, it's pretty fun to do and when you get the rabbit plush you move pretty fast. you can even practically fly with it. i tried getting screenshots but ended up turning on high contrast mode so i decided to get my thoughts of the game so far down first. so, uh, lemme try again

i think that's good enough. decided to map dodge to F so i could do this easier

oh yeah those collectible critters are apparently ammunition! you can do a charged shot in this game

i ended up lagging too much at a certain point (you'll see why) so it's time to conclude this post after this uh, anecdotal section

that one enemy

i ended up stopping early because one of the enemies (pictured) makes this really really annoying ringing sound and uh, it uh, summons other enemies.

a lot of enemies.

a LOT of enemies

i upped my stamina regen so i could basically infinitely roll + jump (not that hard) in the air but they chase you so like. i could not play. at all. my frames were probs below 10 throughout this entire ordeal and uh, honestly in it's own way it was kind of fun

closing thoughts

plushie from the sky felt like a casual soulslike experience (from someone who doesn't play so many soulslikes) and i thought it was interesting enough! there is a lot of polishing that needs to be done here. or maybe my device just couldn't handle it.

i can sorta see the vision the devs have for this game i think, and i respect that. it's definitely not my thing (at least not until i can run it properly). i'd also rather reserve judgement for a (1) demo that (2) i cannot run properly in (3) a genre i don't have much experience in (i just tried it out bc it looked cute). the later levels shown on the steam page look kinda cool and fun too

overall, i'm keeping my mind open to this game, will probs try it again when it releases and i hopefully have a better computer. wishlist it if it sounds like something you'd like, it helps the devs

[fandomwritingbit]

For my 1k milestone...

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Wtf, I can't believe this has happened, but I'm certainly not complaining, I hope I can continue to make stuff that yous get along with.

Below I'm going to share a little of my interests by which I mean other blokes I mentally whore myself for, think of it like a watchmojo top nine of some of my shameful lustings. That and also me humanising this blog a little lmao.

no.1 Michael De Santa - GTA V

Like I'm not even lowkey obsessed with Michael it's and 24/7 365 full-time job at this point. I don't know if it's because he's a crook, or mid-life crisis age, or married, or violent, probably a mixture of all that, but yeah I'm addicted. I only recently got back into Gta V, I was a kid when it came out but used to sneakily play it on my mate's stepdad's xbox. We'd have to dig out the disk under empty boxes of L&B Blue lmao.

Reminiscing aside, Michael De Santa has been a fixation of mine for a long time and the lust is out of hibernation. I'd sell my soul, or whatever is left, to be his little bit on the side. If he was uh yk... real.

no.2 Rafe Adler - Uncharted 4

Oh my god, Rafe. Like they knew exactly what they were doing with his design and characterisation, he's just lush. A spoiled, rich boy with something to prove? With fucking bangs? Who FENCES?! What's not to like? I think he's got a little short man syndrome and I'm crazy for that shit lmao.

And bro, the climax fight scene where he's all sweaty and bloody is just otherworldly hot.

no.3 Capt. Boomerang/ George Harkness - (The) Suicide Squad.

Another crook, huh? He's just very nice, especially in the first(?) Suicide Squad (the one with Will Smith), bros got his biceps out and he's hairy and rough as a dog's arse. I mean Jai Courteney is just gajhdoifljkwjouhjlj. Also uh GOLD TEETH. He's so much fun too, the shafting of Slipknot just to see if the implants are real? The constant larger drinking? Gold. They should call me boomerang the way I bounce back to this guy all the time.

no.4 Johnny Cage - Mortal Kombat franchise

I'm always at a toss up between Johnny and Kano, I like both a lot but Johnny takes the cake. He's fun to play as, his lines are great. And he looks like that. The tattoo of his name on his chest, I just love men who are in love with themselves, ego for the win.

I've always been a Street Fighter lass but I'd turn coat for Johnny boy any day.

no.5 Mile Edgeworth - Ace Attorney

Ik I'm sorry, I just love the trilogy and he's so flamboyant and silly I just can't cope. I swear I'm not the kind of person who pashes on a bloke who unironically wears a cravat, but Edgeworth hits different. Also the reoccurrence of Ms. Oldbag makes me laugh too much. Ergo, Edgy-boy is making the list.

no.6 King Dice - Cuphead

The style, the pizazz, the showmanship; I LIVE. I just love him, the obvious nod to Cab Calloway is much appreciated, my nana used to listen to his old records all the time.

That wholesome bit out of the way, I'm a sucker for the era Cuphead is set in, all the fashion and music and early animation, it's still brilliant. And KD being the kind of guy who takes his coat off before he kicks the shit out of you with a designer shoe is just wow. Oh and moustaches are just fucking great, aren't they?

no.7 Tanner Grayson - Scrutinized

I love Tanner and his silly little jumpscare where he pops up in front of the camera. His character is the right mix of goofy and seriously menacing, just the lengths he goes to in the game are scary. Fuck syringes in general are scary. When he peeps around the corner before hiding in the cupboard- the first time that happened to me I was bricking it BIG time. But then he jumped on top of me/Luna and all was forgiven.

no.8 Frankie Donovan - Empire of Sin

Okay this might be an obscure one, ever played Empire of Sin? I found it on game pass a while back and was hooked, I tell you. 1920s prohibition gang life in Chicago, the history nerd in me vibrates with excitement. The characters are just smashing (literally sometimes), not just the bosses but the mobsters too. Frankie is by far the funniest boss to play as, he takes the piss out of everyone, swears like a sailor the whole time, he's just a ten out of ten experience. And the fact that he's always got scuffed knuckles and a bloody nose, just gets me going ngl. I wish I could be 'ina chara beag aige'.

no.9 Sammy Lawrence - Bendy and the Ink Machine

I sense an early 20th century theme here. Look, Ik nothing abut the game lore, I never played it, only watched Jacksepticeye and the like play the first game when it came out. But I do know a pathetic, screw-loose maniac when I see one, and I do here. The scene where he nabs the player and they wake to him monologuing about Bendy like he's some sort of god is brilliant and highkey turns me on.

All these are "gents" I've thought about writing for, but idk if it'd be any good lmao.

[thescrapbookingscientist]

Bimonthly Media Roundup

- Hellsing Abridged (Webseries) - A rather old one but I do really like the aesthetic of this series - The kind of rough gothic look that was popular in the early 2000s. I appreciate that the author took the Dracula lore and just decided to go really weird with it with the multiple monster designs for Alucard himself, then applying that same "Rule of Cool looks over logic" monster lore for every other character in the series.

- Army of Darkness (Movie) - VHS night at my friends place, While I was familiar with Ash Vs the Evil dead I'd never actually seen this film and uh. Well I don't know what I was expecting but boy this sure wasn't that. I would not exactly call this a 'good' movie but it certainly was a fun one, and an incredible watching experience in a group setting. It reminded me a lot of Big Trouble in Little China with it's campy low budget energy where weird shit is constantly happening that the movie will never explain and the characters react very nonchalantly to the batshit things they are experiencing, Plot wise the movie could be described as Bruce Campbells No-Good Very Bad Day but the things that make it bad are honestly very funny and creative so good for it. I wish they made more movies like this nowadays honestly, just dumb little fun passion projects with obviously fake but still cool practical effects and an unnecessary skeleton army.

- Star Trek Strange New Worlds (TV) - Not too far in yet so not much to say, I like court themed episodes so I'm having fun with season 2 so far. Pike and Uhura are my faves as they are just very likable and silly guys who still know when to take their jobs seriously. Also this is a cool poster.

- Star Trek Lower Decks (TV) - Also only 2 episodes in so far but Season 4 is starting strong, I loved The Moopsy and everything about it and the menagerie in general, the vulcan girl getting a larger role with Tendi in particular seems like it will be a fun dynamic, and the humor and overall hyped vibes of the characters is still as strong as ever. Hmm I wonder if it would be worth it to paint myself green to do a Tendi cosplay or if Homestuck made that illegal for everyone forever.

- Dr Stone (Anime) - Yup.

- The S Classes That I Raised (Webnovel) - While I was never not invested in the story I've glad we've moved on to a new arc. Han Yoojin using his abilities to find people with unique non-fighting skills to take business away from what would be an evil mega corporation is a nice use of time-travel based knowledge, so I hope we get a bit more of that. I also would like some more downtime as I like all the characters and wish they got to hang out in low stakes situations more often. I suppose I'm also just a bit worn out of scrolling through action scenes, as while I quite like the art (and especially the coloring) style, the big effect explosions just don't translate super well to the scrolling style still-art pages of K-webcomics. That being said it could be a lot worse as Yoojin's relative powerlessness does make every fight at least interesting in how it needs to be thought through rather than just punched a lot - I just enjoy the fun character banter and political drama more.

- Ace Attorney Vs Professor Layton (Video Game) - Well that ending. happened. In truth I don't hate the twist necessarily on it's own, so much that it's the kind of twist that if you think about it too long it retroactively makes the rest of the story nonsensical. I also find the storyteller and Darklaw's motives to be very dumb which brings it down, not to mention they just axed Barnum from the last part of the game entirely despite him being arguably the best character in the game. Overall I didn't hate the game though, as I found a lot of the little character dialogue, puzzles, and Layton interactions cute - It makes me want to play a Layton game again that's for sure. I'm not sure it's a good Ace Attorney game as it feels very tonally different from the rest of the series, but hey with this I've experienced every Ace Attorney game in the franchise so that's nice, I'll have to do some character and case rankings at some point.

- One Piece (Anime) - Just finished Skypia and thinking about doing a liveblog from this point out. This was a pretty good arc honestly, I loved the villains design aesthetic and powers, lots of good crew bonding moments (Especially for Sanji + Usopp and Luffy + Nami), I liked the setting, the flashback episodes with Mont Blanc had uh questionable politics but the "we both have wives offscreen but are always shown together, think about each other constantly, and die thinking only of the other" gayness of it all made me laugh, and I think it did a good job giving everyone something interesting to do. Other notes would be how funny it is that Robin for the first half was having an entirely different, lovely experience wandering through the woods while everyone fights for their lives, that she nonchalantly snapped a guys neck when he told her to leave, and that poor Chopper had to fight 3/4 of the big bad guys all by himself that poor little deer.

- Genshin Impact (Video Game) - Still here, doing more co-op with my friend now, exploring the bonkers long Chasm quests in Liyue, hoping Kokomi comes back because I want her on my team so bad. Anyway Inazuma has been cool so far, I like the different environments on the islands (other than the lightning island which can sink into the ocean frankly) and there are lots of good character designs. Also I've been listening to the music more and its good!

Listening To: Bones by MSMR, In My Head by Mike Shinoda, Ivy by Taylor Swift, Dancin by Aaron Smith, Make Up Your Mind by Florence + The Machine, Ordinaryish People and World's Smallest Violin by AJR, Ghost by Justin Beiber, IDOL by YOASOBI, Atlantis by Seafret, Doin’ Time by Lana Del Rey, All the Boys by Panic! At The Disco.

[pahrak-the-sinnoh-slizer]

[Games in 2023: Sonic Frontiers: The Final Horizon]

Following Sonic Frontiers’ release in late 22, Sega announced a DLC roadmap consisting of three waves of content that would be released over the next year, all of them being completely free.  I’ve been meaning to summarize my thoughts on them as they’ve rolled out, but uh…the third and final wave has released, so I guess I’m going to cover all of them in one post!

I’m definitely going into spoilers, so tl;dr: if you already loved Frontiers, there’s now even more to love, and if you were on the fence, know that you can now get a significantly improved and expanded experience at no extra cost.  Frontiers is bigger and better than ever, and while the challenges of the newly-added Another Story can be quite frustrating, I absolutely still enjoyed the overall experience.

If you’ve been here for at least a while, you probably know that I fucking adored Sonic Frontiers.  I’ve been getting back into the series over the past few years, and this was the first major new game to release since beginning that process; Frontiers was designed to be the beginning of a new era for Sonic himself, so it all seemed to line up quite well.  It certainly helped that the tone of the game was highly reminiscent of the “Dark Age” titles I grew up with.  The game has its problems, certainly—performance issues like pop-in and some loose seams that show Sonic Team needed a little more time than Sega was ultimately willing to give them—but for me, the positive immensely outweighs the negative.  Frontiers is fun to play, ridiculously cool, and not afraid to be itself the way Sonic games of the past decade-ish have seemed to be; seams be damned, I love the story dearly, and I’m excited to see how it might be followed up on.  Frontiers was the exact kind of Sonic game that I personally needed at this point in my life.

Wave 1 of the DLC introduced a variety of new features with the theme of enhancing the “sights, sounds, and speeds” of the game.  One that I still haven’t messed around with much is the new photo mode—I’m glad to now have the extra freedom in setting up screenshots, but it just didn’t occur to me to use it yet.  Honestly I don’t think I’ve played many games that have a photo mode, it’s not something I’m personally used to thinking about.  Several gauntlets were also added, featuring both the Cyberspace stages and combat challenges.  It seems odd that the Cyberspace gauntlets are separated from the Cyberspace arcade mode: if I had spent a bunch of time perfecting runs in arcade mode to then find out I had to do it all again, I imagine I’d be rather annoyed.  As for combat challenges, simply providing a way to refight the Titans without going through the whole game again is enough to count as a win in my book (though being able to do so without the “warm-up” rounds would be the most ideal), and if you enjoy the combat, this is the best way to get a nice helping of it all at once.  I’m told that completing these modes unlocks the ability to use Power Boost in Cyberspace stages, and an Extreme difficulty setting, but I haven’t felt a desire to push for either of those myself yet.

My favorite addition of this wave is the Jukebox.  By tracking down Sound Memories scattered across every island, you unlock a few dozen songs that you can play while running around, these being pulled from various games all across Sonic’s history.  Most people know Sonic music tends to be pretty good (putting it mildly).  Having so much of it on-hand is a wonderfully tantalizing prospect.  The Sound Memories are all on the map, just like every other collectible—this is good, because it would’ve been frustrating to find them otherwise…though, it did enable me to run around and grab all of them in one sitting, which may have been an error on my part.  I’m eager to see what it’ll be like finding this as you go through a fresh game; I imagine it’ll be a very welcome additional reward for player progression.  Nevertheless, it was still fun to run around the islands and figure out how best to reach each Sound Memory and discover which new song it unlocked.  There are some great picks!  I’m also really glad that some of the songs are found on Rhea Island—for as large as it is, there was no real reason to explore it before since it was totally devoid of life and collectibles outside of the towers you progress through one after another.  But now, taking a quick stroll around its lovely locales rewards you with Open Your Heart and Stardust Speedway and Flying Battery!  It’s obvious that the devs spent a lot of time building Rhea, and nice to know that more players will be able to appreciate it now.

On to wave 2, released in celebration of Sonic’s birthday.  I was expecting only some small cosmetics, but it’s FAR more substantial than I was expecting!  The birthday cosmetics actually change a lot in the overworld, really changing the atmosphere in a fun way.  New Sound Memories were added, these being the themes that play while exploring the islands: they each have various “stages” that progress as you fill out more of the map (if I recall correctly), and every single one of them can now be unlocked for the Jukebox.  There are also several new Action Chain Challenges that lead to unique Koco which, when returned to the Elder, extend Sonic’s Boost Gauge!  Fantastic as this sounds, these challenges were a bit too much for me, though I’d like to think this is at least partly due to my being so rusty at the game.  I’ll have to try these again sometime, because on top of more Boost, completing all of them apparently unlocks the Spin Dash, and without even searching I’ve seen some sick-looking movement you can do with that.  The other big addition is New Game+, and though I haven’t used it yet, I am absolutely going to replay Frontiers at some point and this will probably be the way I do it.

It, uh, seems there’s a trend of me not actually going deep into a lot of the new stuff.  It’s good stuff to be sure, just primarily groups of small things that probably are designed to be done bits at a time as you go along like the other collectibles.  Since I’ve already completed the story, maxed out Sonic’s stats, and gotten the Platinum trophy, I suppose my sense of direction has been lacking.  I do my best when I have a specific, overarching goal to work towards.

Which brings us to wave 3, “The Final Horizon”.  Just about everything here is contained within a new episode referred to as “Another Story”, accessed through a big Warp Ring that appears on Ouranos Island; it seems like this becomes available as soon as you reach the island, but I won’t be able to verify that until my next playthrough.  This mode also has its own separate save slots, which is nice…because it’s really freaking difficult and I’m glad to know I can go back to the main game if it becomes too much.  But we’ll get to that.  Essentially, Another Story puts you on a completely revamped Ouranos with its own platforming bits and map challenges.  I didn’t see much in the way of standard enemies (maybe because I was playing on Easy?), but there are a handful of enhanced Guardians roaming about: Master Ninja+, Spider+, even more Ghosts!  I accidentally ran into one and had my ass promptly handed to me—they’re not messing around—so they’re still on my To Do list.  The map challenges can also be surprisingly tricky, from a ball and hoop puzzle with entirely too many hoops, to a time trial that gives you less than 10 seconds to run to the goal.  Another Ouranos is tough as nails, which will either delight or frustrate you…or some combination of the two.  Of note is that Sonic gets the Spin Dash for free upon starting if you haven’t already gotten it the hard way; it’s fun, but I’m not sure I’ve passed the skill floor yet lol.

But that’s not all!  Another Story kicks off with Sage proposing a new plan for taking on The End: taking on a new set of towers a la Rhea Island so that Sonic can learn to not only control his cyber corruption, but actually harness it to increase his power.  They’ll still need the Chaos Emeralds of course, so Sage uses her own abilities to keep Sonic’s corruption in check and brings back Amy, Knuckles, and Tails so they can cover as much ground as possible.  That’s right: for the first time in *checks notes* nearly two decades, these three characters are playable in a 3D Sonic game!!  Each of them get two segments of gameplay hunting down Emeralds interspersed with Sonic dealing with the towers, and after clearing the final tower you gain a method to switch characters at will.  Everybody has their own unique Skill Tree with a few standard abilities (like Cyloop, Boost, Spin Dash) as well as several unique ones (including character-specific variations on Parry that inflict debuffs), and I’d say everyone feels suitably distinct without having too steep a learning curve.  So, what can everyone do?

Amy is the one who surprised me the most, in that she only uses her hammer for two abilities.  Everything else involves her Tarot Cards.  I do like how hard they’ve been leaning into the cards in recent years, and they do predate her hammer; I imagine another concern was that a hammer-focused playstyle would be a little too similar to Knuckles, and yeah, the card-based moveset is very unique.  I’ll admit to finding it a bit jarring due to how long the hammer has been Amy’s weapon of choice, but I’m sure I’ll get over it.  Her Double Jump is far more substantial than Sonic’s, and if that wasn’t enough, she also gets a third jump that puts her into a hovering state, giving her enhanced aerial mobility in the same vein as Knuckles and Tails.  Another move is functionally similar to the way the Homing Attack in Lost World could lock onto multiple targets, letting her zip along an entire line of enemies in a flash.  If I had gripes they would probably be that she can’t wall run or Lightspeed Dash, but her insane verticality makes up for a lot of that.

Knuckles is the most in-line with expectations: he punches, he glides, and he doesn’t chuckle.  In addition to climbing the same green walls as Sonic, he can also climb exclusive red walls—though, again, no Lightspeed Dash.  The gliding is…let’s say contentious.  You need to Double Jump before you can glide, then it plays a short animation of Knuckles getting ready to glide, and then you have to try to figure out how to steer the damn thing.  It’s not ideal.  While that is a bummer, you can unlock a Power Boost analogue that lets Knuckles glide infinitely without losing altitude (while he has max Rings), and that’s a lot of fun even if the glide is a bit unwieldy!  He’s got a charge attack drilling strike that’s pretty cool too.  I’m kinda just glad to get to play as Knuckles some more tbh.

Now Tails!  Tails is interesting.  You’ve probably seen the wrench throwing memes by now—what’s nice about this ability is that it and another move where he uses a blaster make Tails the best character for ranged combat/interactions.  I’m a fan of them using wrenches rather than the ol’ dummy ring bomb, it’s a much better fit for the kid.  But what throws me off the most about playing as Tails is that he’s the one character who doesn’t have a Homing Attack.  Turns out I got real used to using the Homing Attack on springs and such, because I keep hitting the button and being confused when I start throwing wrenches at the spring instead.  I wouldn’t call this an issue, honestly, and I don’t think it ever even really messed me up, I just need to learn to suppress my muscle memory.  Of course, Tails can also fly!  I find takeoff a bit tricky: you need to Double Jump before you can use it, and when Tails starts spinning his tails he falls a short distance before they get going and he shoots straight up.  Definitely manageable, just feels a little weird.  He has limited stamina as always, but it seemed to me that he could keep flying for a good long while before he started to drop, no complaints there.  As for other moves, Tails uses some gadgets like a blaster and a giant pile bunker…and, also, there are abilities that let him summon the Tornado to fly around and attack enemies.  I haven’t unlocked them myself yet as I had other priorities, but just seeing that pulling out an entire-ass plane is an option makes me smile.

There are several challenges around the island designed with each character in mind, as well as some “Map Koco” that are like map challenges but can only be activated by a specific character.  They each have their own color-coded skill pieces too, which you mainly get by finding Koco with giant backpacks who give you a few thousand at a time.  Stats need to be leveled for each character separately, but to help with this, the Starfall in Another Story fills the island with Koco and seeds instead of gems for the purple coin gacha.  There are even plenty of new, optional conversations for each character, and they don’t even require certain amounts of Memories to access!  I wouldn’t say the implementation of the new playable characters is perfect, but it’s clear that a LOT of effort was put into them, and I’ve been able to have a lot of fun with them too.  As far as I’m concerned, this is a win.

While those three are off collecting Emeralds (and dealing with their own instances of cyber corruption), Sonic is climbing “Trial Towers”.  They can get pretty intense, but it seems playing on Easy gives you some advantages here and that was appreciated.  It’s irritating that there are no checkpoint pulleys like on Rhea, barring one at the top of the very last tower since the NPC there has the vital functions of both switching characters and starting the final boss battle.  But we’re getting ahead of ourselves!  The towers, while they can be tough, aren’t the hard part.  The hard part is getting to the top of each to speak with the Koco housing the soul of one of the Titan pilots, only for them to send you into a combat trial where you’re locked to level 1 stats and have a very strict time limit.  Shockingly, the easiest one for me was the trial that just had you fight a pack of Wolves!  The hardest one was Snake’s Trial, where you have to beat four shielded enemies within the time limit and with most of your skills taken away.  Apparently the intent is to parry the shields when they’re thrown to keep the enemy vulnerable, but I couldn’t pull that off.  You can still Cyloop these enemies to knock their shield away briefly, but when I say briefly, in this case I mean extremely briefly: they seem to regenerate their shield after a mere second passes.  If you time your loops and combos just right, you can barely take them all out in time this way, but yeesh, if any of the trials get nerfed I hope it’s this one.  Though there’s also the fifth and final trial…a boss rush of the 3 earlier Titan fights.  Doesn’t sound so bad?  You’re again locked to level 1 stats, and the Parry can no longer be held indefinitely—Easy gives you some leeway, but you still need to be fairly precise.  Still doesn’t sound too bad?  Well, the 400 Rings you start with when you spawn in Giganto’s arena?  Those have to last you the whole gauntlet.  There are NO other rings Sonic can pick up.  Since Super Sonic loses 1 Ring every second, assuming you don’t take any hits in the segments where you climb to the final Chaos Emerald, you have just over two minutes to wreck each Titan.  With level 1 stats and a nerfed Parry.  I didn’t realize just how essential Parrying was to these fights, especially Wyvern.  After a single attempt, I knew I had to put the game down for the night and search for tips online.  Thankfully, if you focus on Cylooping and Stomping the Titans, you can get by in decent time so long as you don’t botch too many Parries.  IMO Wyvern was the toughest part and Knight was actually the easiest.  But yeah, if you were wondering why people we so up in arms about the difficulty, these trials are the biggest reason of why.

Anyway.  Amy, Knuckles, Tails, and Eggman gather up the Chaos Emeralds, and Sonic learns to use cyber corruption as a power-up.  First, you have to go through the standard Supreme fight, but after that (and regardless of difficulty), The End descends onto the battlefield and connects itself to Supreme, causing it to grow five more arms and go absolutely feral to really drive home the Evangelion reference.  The title card for Supreme comes back up, but then glitches out before changing to say “The End”—I love shit like that, really slick.  After a short period where you can’t damage the boss (Supreme End, as I like to call it) or block its projectiles, Sonic unleashes the power of his cyber corruption, and transforms…into Super Sonic 2. (In-game it doesn’t really get named but apparently the files literally call it “Super Sonic 2”, and that’s hilarious and rad so I’m going with that.) I’ll go more into the form itself later—in terms of the fight, Super Sonic 2 is able to damage Supreme End and use the Perfect Parry to deflect its shots.  However, this is where things get…tricky.  The End is able to constantly refill Supreme’s health no matter how fast you deplete it, so you need to sever the cable connecting them.  Alright, so maybe try a Cyloop?  No?  What about a Grand Slam, will that make it vulnerable?  No, not that either?  Turns out the plug is a separate target that you can only hit by targeting it specifically.  In spite of the fact that the game always automatically targets the head.  Well, once you figure that out you can actually deplete Supreme’s health, but you still need to get to the next phase.  With no indication, you need to figure out that you can target the gun holstered in Supreme’s back, use Cyloop to pull it out, and then Cyloop the gun again.  I’ll admit that staying focused on depleting Supreme’s health and ignoring the gun after getting it out was a dumb mistake on my part, but there really isn’t a lot to let you know you can Cyloop the gun out in the first place, made worse by the way the trees surrounding the arena tend to obscure the camera.  Whatever—you Cyloop the gun (twice), and then a scene plays where Eggman grabs it with his own giant cable while Sage and Sonic’s friends form a barrier.  At this point, Supreme End can attack the barrier, and you lose if it breaks it.  I kinda lucked through this part, but if you attack the head, then dodge, you end up above the Titan, and after it flails its arms a bit you can Parry and Grand Slam to keep it from attacking while you finish whittling down its health.  After some awesome QTE attacks, Sonic loads himself into the stolen gun and brings out the full power of his cyber corruption, turning cyan and black with glitch effects and fangs and crazy eyes. (Again, saving that for later.) Eggman then shoots Sonic through Supreme and The End, obliterating them both, and this time Sage gets to go home with her father without needing to sacrifice herself.  Which I do like.  But anyway, the boss fight?  Epic scale, cool as shit…clear as mud.  If you know what you’re doing it’s a real fun power trip, but it’s more difficult than it needs to be to know that.  I dunno, maybe it’s just a skill issue, but I’m simultaneously frustrated and gleeful over this fight.

Not sure where else to put this, but Another Ouranos has its own set of Cyber Space stages—you can completely avoid them if you want to, but these are actually rather inventive!  One has a radar that tells you if you’re close to invisible landmines; one has capsules that give you a powered up Rocket Boost; apparently there’s one that switches the Boost Gauge out for a Gear Shift mechanic.  I haven’t been able to beat any of them.  Yet.  BUT, it’s still cool to see Sonic Team already experimenting more within this framework, with both these stages and the playstyles of the different characters.  Frontiers is meant to lay the foundation for the next era, after all, and I’m excited to see where these experiments lead.

Right though, those new forms!  We have to talk about the new forms!  Super Sonic 2 is visually very similar to base Super Sonic, which is a bit disappointing even if it does fit the reference.  Still, Super Sonic 2 does manage to be a more noticeable change than Super Saiyan 2: his eyes turn from red to blue, his body has a red outline, and he has a double aura somewhat reminiscent of the Super Saiyan Blue Kaioken.  What really sells it, though, is the way Sonic acts in this form.  As one last addendum to the DBZ comparison, his demeanor and movements invoke Ultra Instinct Sign to a certain degree: a casual and cold fury as he nonchalantly sidesteps and pushes aside the attacks Supreme End lobs at him.  When his Cyloop expires, he adds a finisher to it where he snaps his fingers and the light constructs he summoned crush the Titan.  The Grand Slam for this fight?  Sonic floats in close to the charging Supreme, arms crossed, then the screen goes black with golden slashes like the fucking Raging Demon from Street Fighter, and after watching Supreme hit the ground, we get a low angle shot of Sonic, arms still crossed, glaring over his shoulder at it.  Fucking sick.  For the final QTEs, he does a barrage of punches and kicks that launches Supreme into the sky, floats in place and slowly raises his hand as Supreme falls, and then slams one last punch into it the instant it comes close enough.  This could actually be the coolest Sonic has ever been.  And then there’s the glitchy blue form he uses for the finishing blow: the game’s files call it “Super Sonic Cyber”, and while the eyes and teeth are taken straight from Fleetway Super Sonic, the full-body cyan makes me think of fucking Nazo.  The Koco who gives him this power-up says that if he goes all out he’ll lose his cyber corruption power permanently, and he does revert to regular Super Sonic after going Super Sonic Cyber, so both 2 and Cyber could be one-offs seen here and never again—which would be just fine!  But I see two ways they could possibly make a reappearance: firstly, maybe Master King was just wrong, and Sonic is able to retain the cyber corruption power and reawaken it in a later game (I would not be upset with this); secondly, though, the text in-game refers to Super Sonic 2 as “the hidden power of Super Sonic”, making it seem like this power or something like it already lay dormant within Sonic, and maybe there are other ways it can be brought to the surface.  I dunno, if Hyper Sonic and the Storybook forms are anything to go by, the best we can hope for is 2 and Cyber units in mobile games if anything—again, I would not be upset with this.  The fans, however…they’re going to have fun with this. (I request Burning Blaze 2.  Please.)

This ending was definitely a happier one, though I don’t think it hit me quite as hard.  The only real difference is Sage’s survival, which again, I’m a big fan of; but that being the main win we’re focused on while she also gets much less to do in the final battle feels a bit odd to me.  Well, maybe that’s a nitpick.  I’m not sure if it’s been stated whether or not this new ending officially replaces the old one?  Either way we’ll have Sage going forward, so maybe they can skirt around the details if they want.  I’m definitely interested to see what direction they take her in, and how her continued presence affects Eggman.  I’m also curious to see what Amy, Knuckles, and Tails get into on their solo adventures.  The main plot also raises some serious questions regarding the Master Emerald, so I’m hoping those get dealt with.  Also…those meteors raining down…those are pieces of The End, right?  Are those, uh, safe?  Even if the moon form is gone, there’s no way that’s enough to permanently kill a godlike personification of death.  Honestly, I am hoping we get to see more of The End in some form: their philosophy of equating “order” with destruction and death is a great antithesis to the power of Chaos that Sonic and his friends wield.  The End, who embodies order, versus Sonic, who embodies chaos…there’s a lot of potential there.  And, even if Frontiers maybe doesn’t completely stick its landing, you still have that mountain of potential it opens up waiting for you at the end of the exhilarating ride it takes you on.

[moodymelanist]

ACOTAR Secret Santa - Sugar Cookies

Summary: Elain and Lucien can’t keep their hands to themselves while baking some cookies…

Hello hello, everyone! This is my contribution for @acotargiftexchange’s amazing Secret Santa, and I’m so happy to have finally gotten this done for @aurips !!! I hope you enjoy, and happy holidays ❤️

Word Count: 1,750

⚠️ includes some smut at the end⚠️

☼☼☼☼☼

Lucien

“You’re not doing it right,” Elain commented with a sigh. Lucien bit back a grin as she came over to help him, her tiny hands smacking his much larger ones out of the way so she could mix the dough properly. “See?”

“Uh huh,” he murmured, moving behind her and leaning down to press a kiss to her neck. She giggled as he continued to pepper kisses on her soft skin, but eventually elbowed him in the side. “Stop trying to distract me.”

His girlfriend had come over for a Christmas Eve movie marathon, but the movies had fallen to the wayside once she realized he had all the proper ingredients for sugar cookies. She looked absolutely adorable in one of his too-big sweaters, a pair of leggings, and a ridiculous pair of antlers on her head, and he couldn’t help wanting to kiss her all over.

“I thought you were supposed to kiss the chef,” Lucien quipped with a smirk.

“I’m not a chef, I’m a baker,” Elain pointed out. He could feel her rolling her eyes as she elbowed him in the side again. “Do you have any cookie molds?”

“Uh… I don’t know?” he replied sheepishly. He wasn’t the baking expert, for crying out loud.

“Luce. You live here.”

“Munchkin. We both know that means nothing.”

“Oh my God. Just keep mixing this and I’ll look.”

Lucien took over as she searched through his cabinets with military precision, admiring the curve of her ass in her leggings as she reached up to grab the molds. He had to hold back a laugh as she sighed and climbed onto the counter so she could reach, but from the scowl on her face she definitely knew he’d wanted to poke fun at her.

“You are the worst,” Elain huffed as she climbed back down with the molds in her grip. “Keep that up and you won’t get any cookies.”

“I won’t get any cookies, or I won’t get any cookies?” he asked. He turned to look at her with a smirk, absolutely delighted to see a matching one on her lovely face. Everyone thought she was so sweet and gentle and kind, and while all those things were true, his girlfriend had a delightfully snarky streak that he lived to encourage.

“At this rate, I don’t think you’ll get anything to eat,” she replied, her smirk widening. God, he loved when they taunted each other like this. There was probably something wrong with him, but considering his antics ended with his head — or his dick — between her thighs… well. Who was he to complain?

Lucien wanted to touch her, badly, but he channeled that energy into attacking the cookie dough instead. He wasn’t giving up their little game that easily. “No way I can change your mind?”

“I’m sure you can think of something,” she responded, moving towards the sink to wash the cookie molds. “You and that clever mind of yours.”

“And here I thought you kept me around for other things,” he teased.

“It’s certainly not your baking abilities,” she teased right back. She finished washing the cookie molds and dropped them into his dish rack before turning to look at him. “Now make yourself useful and find me a cutting board and a rolling pin.”

Thirty minutes later, Lucien found himself carefully decorating cookies at the dining room table. He wasn’t nearly as steady as Elain, but she seemed to think his shitty designs were adorable, so who was he to correct her?

“You’re unreal,” he breathed as he watched her neatly pipe blue icing onto a snowflake-shaped cookie. “Seriously, if this botany thing doesn’t work out…”

“Stop it,” Elain replied, her cheeks going pink as she began filling in her design. “You’re not bad yourself.”

He looked down at his candy cane cookie with a pout. “I’m definitely not house husband material.”

“Then you better step up your game,” she teased, reaching for the white icing. “The future Dr. Archeron needs a stable home to be successful.”

Elain was halfway through her botany doctoral program, something that Lucien bragged about to no end. He was just so proud of her and he wanted — no, needed — everyone to know just how fucking smart his girlfriend was. His parents were the only ones who still indulged his passionate speeches about her intelligence; Maman would smile at how obviously in love her son was and Baba loved to grin before saying something about how smart his grandchildren would be.

Lucien grinned at her. “Happy wife, happy life.”

She rolled her eyes but smiled at him anyway before returning to her cookies. He loved seeing that determined expression on her face, whether it was from working on her thesis to icing cookies to riding him like a fucking pony—

He squeezed down on the piping bag he was holding so hard that red icing exploded out of one end, somehow managing to hit Elain’s sweater and part of her neck. God, his brain picked the worst times to make himself horny.

“Holy shit,” he breathed in shock. “Fuck, Munchkin, I’m sorry—”

She just giggled at the look on his face. “It’s okay. I’m sure it’ll wash out.”

“I’ll get you a clean one,” he offered, already standing up with plans to grab another sweater from his closet, but then she grabbed his hand. “What?”

“Aren’t you going to clean me up first?” she asked. She tilted her head just slightly as she looked up at him with those big, brown eyes, and all the blood in Lucien’s body suddenly began traveling between his legs.

“Since you asked so nicely,” he murmured, already reaching for her. She sighed happily as he leaned down to kiss her, her lips tasting like icing, and he blindly pushed her chair backwards to make space for him to kneel in front of her.

“What are you — oh,” she gasped as he surged forward to kiss her again, but this time he slid one hand under her sweater. She was so much shorter than him that he could easily kiss the life out of her while rolling a nipple between his fingers. She usually didn’t wear a bra while they were spending time together, and from the breathless whimpers and moans spilling from her lips, she might have been more thankful for that fact than he was.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re at my mercy.” He pulled back and placed a hand high on her thigh, rubbing meaningless patterns with his thumb. “Am I still not getting anything to eat?”

She opened her eyes and stared at him incredulously. “If you think I’m at your mercy, you have another thing coming.”

His blood heated at the authority in her voice. She was so small and adorable most of the time that nobody expected her to be the one in charge, but Elain Archeron ordering him around was one of the hottest things he’d ever experienced. He still didn’t know how he’d lucked into making her fall in love with him, but he wasn’t going to question it. “My mistake, my love.”

“That’s better,” Elain replied, a ghost of a smile on her lips. “Now help me with my leggings.”

Lucien scrambled to help her pull them down as she lifted her hips, sparing a moment to appreciate the cute pink panties she was wearing before getting those out of the way too. He groaned as he saw just how wet she already was for him, and he almost drooled at the thought of making her shatter on his tongue like some kind of Pavlovian response.

“May I?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound as desperate as he thought. “Please?”

“Since you asked so nicely,” she agreed, making him huff a laugh as she repeated his words from earlier. “Yes.”

He wasted no time, sighing in relief as he buried his head between her thighs. Her hands immediately went to his hair, gripping the copper strands firmly, and he used the strength of her grip to estimate how well he was doing. The tighter her fingers dug into his scalp, the better a job his mouth was performing.

“Oh, fuck,” Elain whimpered once he attacked her clit with the flat of his tongue. “Jesus, Lucien.”

His dick strained against his jeans as she said his name, but he ignored it in favor of continuing to work her with his tongue. His entire focus narrowed to getting more of those little moans and whimpers to spill from her lips, to making her pull his hair so tight he’d have a headache later, to making her back arch off the dining room chair from the strength of her orgasm.

“Lucien,” Elain shrieked as she came, yanking on his hair so hard something popped in his neck. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, Lucien…”

That’s it, he thought, gently lapping at her clit as she came down from her high. She panted and slowly released her iron grip on his hair with a sigh.

“I guess that was satisfactory,” Elain panted. Lucien looked up at her from between her thighs with a satisfied grin, knowing full well his skills were well above her minimal praise.

“Happy to be of service,” he replied, his grin widening as he took in her flushed appearance. He placed a few kisses to the inside of her thighs before standing up to take the pressure off his knees.

He didn’t miss the heated look she gave him, how those brown eyes dropped to the hard length pressing against his jeans. She looked like she wanted to eat him alive, and he was more than happy to be her meal.

“See something you like?” he asked, his grin turning sharper the longer she studied him.

“Yes,” she answered. “Pass me a cookie. I’m hungry.”

He huffed a laugh before turning and doing what she asked, grabbing the snowflake cookie she’d been decorating. She kept her eyes on him the whole time as she broke it into smaller pieces and slowly fed them into her mouth, and he found it hard to breathe as she sucked the leftover icing off her fingers.

“Upstairs,” she demanded, a knowing smile making her lips quirk upwards as she watched him try to keep himself together. “And bring the cookies. I want a snack for when we’re done.”