#the fun about songs is that i can take them out of context as much as i want :) and there's nothing u can do to stop me <3

[tayloralisonswift]

what would we do if he found us out? is so good like in context it's gay but out of context it's even more gay. it's like we keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew and i know places we can hide and you talk real slow 'cause it's late and your mama don't know and i don't want to keep secrets just to keep you and no one has to know and what would you do if they never found us out? and nobody had to know and all these people think love's for show but i would die for you in secret and they don't know how much i miss you and you showed me colors you know i can't see with anyone else and my heart knows what the truth is and nothing safe is worth the drive and i will follow you home and lovelorn and nobody knows and takes one to know one, you're a cowboy like me and everyone thinks that they know us but they know nothing and my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it and haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? and make sure nobody sees you leave.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi, I have some questions regarding confusion over a certain topic. First off, I have a character with a severe scarring on the upper right side of their body. I've heard in some tumblr ppsts that such appearance shouldn't be fetished. Then I stumbled across some posts, mentioning how the character can be described as 'pretty with it'.

For sure, I'm trying my best to normalize the looks. Because I have a love interest set up for them and while they don't mind the looks, I feel confused on how to convey their appreciation for the character's looks even with the scarring. They like the character as they are and stuff.

Sorry if this is a lot, I tend to get confused on how to handle such scenarios. And this sort of varying opinions is making me go '???'.

It's okay if you take your time to answer! Have a good day ahead of ya!

Hi!

"Fetishization of a disability" and "thinking that a disabled person is pretty" are two very different things. Despite the somewhat similar sound, they're not connected by much.

In the context of scars, fetishization would be what I would call the "Zuko situation" (yes, I love ATLA as much as the next guy, let me explain) - the scar isn't really a scar, it's more of a, I don't know, make-up? It's just the color that changes, it's all sharp edges and intricate shapes, the facial structure stays the exact same. There's no physical symptoms. Essentially, it's permanent body paint.

It fetishizes a disability by making it inaccurate, sometimes almost mystical. You don't see anyone fetishizing how real people with facial burns look like because they only like the idea of it. They don't care for us; they don't care for Face Equality or why we are offended by "villain with scar #32482". It's just a fun splotch of color to add to your OC when you're out of ideas.

Another aspect of fetishization is the "a scar is the worst thing in the whole world", the tragedy porn. It's using a disability for cheap drama. Again; it's inaccurate and exploitative. I don't see writers excited to depict my "coming to terms with my facial difference as a teenager, and eventually being proud of it" experience because where's the shock value and pity points? Fetishization, again, is about liking the idea of it, not the real thing.

Describing your character as beautiful, well, isn't any of that.

The point that I tried to make on that post was that a scar is often considered inherently ugly. That it's a stain on someone's beauty, that it would be better if it wasn't there.

"Brown beautiful eyes, thick facial hair, strong cheekbones - he managed to be irresistibly handsome even with that nasty scar going across his nose."

This, well, sucks. It's as if the character's beauty and their disability are contradictory forces that have to fight each other. But in reality, scars and any other visible disabilities are neutral. If the character is pretty, their scar is pretty too. It's a part of them, so how could it not be?

"She was a cute girl; her pastel pink, thinly braided hair framed her face, defying gravity by curling towards her mouth. The burned skin on her lips shifted as she smiled, revealing a tooth gap. She played with her equally pink 'white' cane, holding it between the two fingers she had on her right hand, bopping it against the ground to the rhythm of the song."

This, on the other hand, just states her disability as a part of her person. It's nothing weird or shocking, she's pretty, has a burn on her face, she's blind, she's missing some fingers, she's enjoying the music - it's almost boring when compared to the usual "scar introduction". There's no "even with her horribly burnt face", no "if only she wasn't scarred she would be beautiful", no "poor thing, lost her fingers in a horrific fire" - instead, she is beautiful, and she has scars, and she sure is having fun. That's it.

This is my best shot at explaining the difference between "fetishization" and "yeah they're pretty :-)" ft. my questionable writing - I hope this makes sense.

I definitely took my time to answer, sorry about that. Thank you for your ask!

mod Sasza

[chiisana-sukima]

nine people i want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.

Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.

Fave color: Purple

Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery

Last movie: Knives Out

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty

Relationship: married x 27 years

Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".

Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.

@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.

Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.

I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.

If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.

Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.

Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop

@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.

[not-goldy]

Do you think Jikook's bond (whatever it is) is a goldmine to HYBE and they are trying to profit off it?

Thanks for such an intelligent question, having had one such mentally stimulating ask in a while.

Is Hybe overtly exploiting the chemistry that BTS has and that each pair has within the band, absolutely. I mean that bit should be so easy to wrap your head around.

Romance, bromance is one of the top selling genres of all time. The idea of BTS having a super strong fated bond between them is so commercially viable literal movies and songs have been written about them. 7 dates, bullet proof, and their recent Kdrama series etc to be exact.

And ships sell. I've said this since day one. The commercial viability of ships is just an offshoot of the commercial viability of bands as discussed above.

So yes, within that context, Hybe definitely would gravitate towards the two members with the most chemistry, who also happen to be two of the most liked members of the group, two of the most popular members and the most influential members of the group.

You don't go to war with your weakest soldiers.

Jikook is a very strong ship. We all know that.

They've had the most running in the group with some of the ships rising and falling over the years in terms of chemistry and popularity.

There's a lot to do with a pair like that. Reality shows, travel shows, documentaries, memoirs, tell all, cooking shows.

I watch a lot of reality TV and it's not hard to see how Jikook would fit right into that realm.

If BTS was love Island 🏝 Jikook would get their own spinoff after the season ended.

Fans love them, they get the most votes, the camera adores them and producers have so much they wanna do with them.

Am I making sense???

Going off with the Love Island analogy, just because Jikook are fan favorite, and the crew likes to follow them every where with a camera, and they are getting a spin off show of just the two of them don't necessarily mean their bond is fake that they are only existing for fan service or that the company is exploiting them.

There's just so much to do with them. They are fun entertaining adorable and a pleasure to work with.

So to answer your question I'll say yes and no.

Yes, they definitely a Goldmine for hybe in as far as content production goes.

No because they get to kill two birds with one stone. They can make money off of them, but also they create a safe space for Jikook to have that longevity to explore and nurture their relationship. They love being together. They love doing what they do. Hybe simply allows them to live their dreams and relationship much longer.

I've always said, if any queer pair in kpop were real you'd find them in a ship because ships would be their perfect cover for it. And we've seen jikook use this card very often to get out of trouble. Everything they do would be chalked down to fan service no matter how egregious they were. It can be invalidating and frustrating but In a way, it's also safe for them that way.

If I got paid to cozy up to my girlfriend, travel the world with her, eat as much as we can, hike, experience all and any culture- yall could call us anything you want I'm taking that offer🤣🤣🤣🤣

But we gotta give credit where credit is due because to me it's Jungkook that lay the foundation for all of this to be possible when he put of his first GCF with Jimin and later Jimin lay on top of him on a couch talking bout how they ought to do it again and how he would even model for him if filming is what he wanted to do.

I think they gave Hybe the idea of what it can do with them.

You can tell these things are things they both naturally want to do and have already done. During Run, they come up with a team name, they work well together, during rehearsals they stay behind and work on their routines tweaking it a bit, they come up with cooking shows to do, stay up all night doing nothing.

They are by themselves very creative and adventurous.

So like I said, I don't think this is hybe mining them but more so amplifying and giving them the production value to do what they already have been doing which they love, fans love and the company loves.

I'm sure if any other pair had this same organic pull towards eachother and wanted to be around eachother all the time too hybe would be just as curious and invested in them but as it turns out there isn't.

We are not stupid, we see them. And we see how some members act like they can't wait to get out of set when others keep it going even after they yell cut.

We see them all.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "How people view you through your (main) social media account?"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to find out what people may think of you or how they may perceive you from what they see of you (what you allow them to see of you and your life) on your most used/most followed social media account. thank you Anon for your suggestion!

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3

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pile 1

People see you as someone private/reserved. You may be sharing photos or words if something really happens and you really feel like sharing about it but even more... when you remember. You may not be that social (at least online in specific contexts). Or maybe you don't have too much time to spend online for fun and you rather just scroll through your feed and enjoy random stuff (art, videos, photos especially by famous creators/memes or such. You rather be entertained than entertain). You may filter what you post/say or you literally add different filters on or edit your photos/videos a lot... Anyway the result is pretty pleasing to the eye, maybe you follow a certain pattern in your posts (aesthetically, so you cannot always post pictures if they don't resonate with the whole page).

It seems you kinda hide part of yourself or what you do, it feels like you're mysterious/there's more about you; but you don't have to do it (=be this reserved/mysterious) on purpose, it may just be your way to behave online. As said you may just post occasionally also cause you may not like social medias that much or feel too comfortable with them (maybe you don't enjoy the drama around them, the people lurking on you or you don't want to really be seen/found by too many people; some of you may fear your account being found by someone you don't want to discover you or you had bad experiences with someone stalking you and now you're trying to act differently online and use a more-difficult-to-be-recognized nickname and persona). Maybe some of you created an account somewhere just to try how it works or what can happen. You more likely have a specific social media you like and feel good at using and sharing stuff on, while you may not like many others (let's say you feel good on tumblr but not on insta/fb/tiktok/x..., for example). Some of you may even have a private account you made viewable basically only to friends. Wait... maybe you're the one lurking on others (at least to an extent)? If it's so, all I'm gonna say now is: please try to work on your demons before bringing them out on others.

song: i see red | everybody loves an outlaw

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pile 2

I heard "break the internet". So maybe you're some type of internet famous (every post reaches lot of public and gets interactions easily) or you may actually use socials for marketing or work in communication/advertising or something like that. Maybe you are in charge for someone's/some associations' feed or like a shop or something. Anyway, you seem to share good vibes and bring support and encouragement to others. You may share your values (or those the brand you work for represents) too, not just what you do for fun or how to make the best of what you have. And you may have created a large public/community around you, even if you don't know. People do see you as inspiring and really like to know about you or hear from you. You may bring comfort and relief, make them feel special and heard/seen. I don't feel like you have many haters or if you do, they don't seem to be too communicative about their feelings: maybe they also fear you or something. Maybe you also don't care much about them: well done! For a few: you'd like to become famous online and trying to go viral anytime you can or you'd like to work with social medias (even as a social media manager).

We all know social medias have particular rules and in order to make it you need to keep in mind different aspects of your communication, schedule things in advance when possible and be constant (ofc there may be a lucky post, but it needs to be supported by others). But anyway, you kinda have "it"? It seems you have good ideas, you're fun, you give entertainment and many different occasions for interactions with your public: this helps your image/work spread around. You may have a good amount of followers/public waiting for your next post, you may also be good at creating the right hype about it. And ofc, you're good also at what you do, like the main subject of your feed: eg. let's say you're a photographer, you're pretty talented at taking photos; same if you're an astrologer, you're very good at reading charts. But you're also good at how you communicate/share about yourself when you aren't posting about your specific "field". If you're not there yet, I think you mostly need to work on the boring part of this, like learning how to work properly on each platform as all of them have their own rules. It can be really really boring, but if you have the passion and will, and you're ready to say goodbye to holidays for a while... it's worth it. This is also why it's important that you find what works for you.

Ofc, remind yourself of yourself. You're important, you have needs and... it's good to show them to others too. You may at times not share about your lows, and keep them for yourself, but they're part of life as well. You won't lose followers if you do this. I think they'd appreciate you even more. And... having lot of followers won't make your loneliness better. Sure they seem to care about you but, not everyone can stay through ups and downs, they're there mostly for what you give them (find your balance here). Just needed to remind some of you about this. Keep working on yourself, while you also enjoy your time online. Try to not make of it another reason of stress, go with the flow.

song: they don't really know | enbound

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pile 3

I think people see you as very pretty and young. You may seem naive on occasion, kinda childish-like but not in a negative way. People thinks you're cute mostly. I get very feminine and young energy here, no matter what is your gender (if you recognize yourself in any). You may also be a nostalgic person and may like to share events/things from the past, maybe you also like to take photos with polaroids or analog cameras or you add a pretty nostalgic filter/editing to your photos. You may also share inside jokes with your friends or family on social medias.

I think you may have not been that much into social medias at first or you weren't good at using them well, but now you're enjoying them more. You use them mostly to keep in touch with friends, share about your parties/nights out or travels, and every funny event you may happen to be around/join. You may like to post photos/videos taken with your friends indeed. You may end up occasionally posting the wrong stuff by accident like you may share on public some photos you should keep on private and similar but all in all people see you as a funny character. Maybe a little clumsy, but very much pretty and cute. You may also use social medias to too keep yourself updated about celebrities and to gossip with your friends too. I feel like you may be using eg. insta and share pics of your travels, of gifts, shopping/spa days with friends and maybe pics of yourself in beautiful places all taken by your friends. Or maybe by your partner. I get more likely a group of at least 3-4 people tbh but ofc I could be wrong, and it could also be family. I feel some influencer-style vibes here. Kinda aesthetic posts, but more in the sense of the vibe you give through them. Again like, lot of fun and interesting stuff going on in your life. An... autumn-core (does this exist?), cottagecore, travelcore, studycore, whatever brownish-pastels-core you feel like may pertain. Yeah you may be sharing a lot also about your studies those very aesthetically pleasing well written notes or images of you drinking coffee in front of a computer. Since I feel a young energy it may resonate with you still being a student or at the initial stages of a job but ofc it doesn't have to. You may also be studying abroad hence why you share a lot about travels and try to keep in touch with family/friends also through socials and the nostalgic vibe I got in the beginning.

song: don't cry | guns'n'roses (I hope you're really not crying darling... unless you need to ofc)

[ironstrange1991]

Forbidden (Part 7): That Was A First

+18 Smut

Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: The night with Stephen at the Sanctum Sanctorum takes a somewhat interesting turn

Word Count: 5,6k

Warnings: Dry humping, cuming in pants (and panties)

A/N: This was such a fun to write and I really hope you guys like it. It isn't much but be patient with our reader, she is learning ;)

SERIES MASTERLIST

Ultraviolet played softly through the TV speakers as you and Stephen were sprawled out on the couch in the living room of the Sanctum Sanctorum.

The night that seemed to be a real failure, took a completely different turn when he rescued you from one of the terrible parties at Mike's house and now you were lost between kisses, confessions and giggles.

"So..." He pressed when he noticed that you were too quiet while listening to the song.

You smile broadly. "It's hard to be impartial in my analysis when you said you think of me when you listen to this song."

He chuckled, placing a small kiss on your cheek and moving his lips down your chin and then back up, practically nuzzling his face onto yours. The touch of the goatee making your body tingle. He bit your earlobe and whispered to the lyrics of the song to tease you.

"Baby, baby, baby, light my way."

His baritone was so sexy in that context that it made your entire body shake.

"Okay, I think I like it... very much." You responded, cupping his face and pulling him back to your lips. Again and again. You just knew that you would never be tired of kissing those lips.

He hummed with satisfaction, his arms that were around your waist pulled you closer and you fit your leg between his, easily getting used to that new proximity.

When you broke the kiss you found yourself tracing the small bruises on his face. You didn't like that, it was inconceivable for you that someone or something would want to hurt such a pretty face.

"Are you going to tell me how you got hurt?"

He sighed. "I had a meeting with two former Kamar Tag students who ended up taking the wrong path and they didn’t make things easy for me. My mission was to bring them back or..."

He didn't finish the sentence, but you understood. You weren't naive, Stephen's job was to protect the world, but not all people could be saved, especially not when they became a danger to other people. Tony had already explained that to you.

"Maybe it's better if I don't talk about my work..." Stephen started to say, but you interrupted him.

"No, please. You can tell me anything. I'm not a child, Stephen. I understand how the world works.

He smiled and closed his eyes when he felt your fingers on his face again.

"I just hate seeing you hurt. Especially those cheekbones." You placed a small kiss on his wound and watched as he moved his fingers in a complicated gesture and a golden light emanated from them. He brought the light to his face and like magic the bruises closed and then disappeared as if they had never been there.

"Better now?" He smiled widely, probably noticing your surprised and delighted expression.

"This was so incredible!" You gasped.

 "You haven't seen anything yet, sweetheart." He giggled holding your face in both hands and kissing your lips softly.

"Then show me. I want to see you do magic."

"I prefer the term spells." He corrected you and you rolled your eyes.

"It's the same thing."

"We'll have plenty of time for that. I promise. And eventually I can use a spell or two on you." He teased, pulling you back to his lips and you surrendered with a hum, letting him control the kiss.

You couldn’t tell if he was serious or not, but a part of you liked the idea. Dating a sorcerer was pretty sexy, actually.

Stephen pushed his hips against you so you could feel his hard on and although it was all new, you didn't flinch this time, on the contrary, you let out a little moan in his lips that made him tangle his fingers in your hair and deepen the kiss, turning it into a clash of angry tongues and teeth.

He was the one who pulled away gently and then admitted it, "Fuck, sweetheart, look what you do to me." Then he grabbed your hand and brought it to his hip. You palmed his erection, slightly surprised at how massively large he seemed even confined within those tight jeans.

He sighed satisfied with the touch, staring at you as if he wanted to analyze your reaction.

You opened your mouth and closed it again, biting the inside of your cheek instead of saying what was on your mind.

"What is it?" He asked and you hid your face in the crook of his neck inhaling deeply, delighting in his scent.

"No no, sweetheart, let's make a deal. From now on you're going to tell me whatever's on your mind. Okay? You can trust me."

"I don't know..."

"Y/n...please."

You groaned in surrender. "I was just going to say that you just feel so..."

"Big?" He teased with a cocky smile.

You nodded, hiding your face in him again. "I mean, how is this supposed to fit..."

"It won't be a problem, love, you were made to take me inside you. You'll see."

Stephen couldn't believe you were there in his arms after he spent so long pining over you believing he could never have you. It was even more unbelievable when he realized that he would be your first. There were so many things he wanted to show you, so many ways to achieve pleasure. He was dying to finally have you, but he was mature enough to understand that he would have to have a little patience. He would have to take it slow, testing the water and seeing how far you would let him go.

Stephen had been without sex for almost six months and it was making it harder for him to hold himself together, being there alone with you in his arms and although he was mature enough to control himself, a part of him was willing to tease you a little and that was precisely what he did when he grabbed the fabric of your dress and lifted it up a little revealing your thighs to him.

 "You know, America bought a certain magazine and I ended up seeing some pretty compromising photos of you."

You smiled proudly, but didn't say anything.

"Imagine my surprise when I discovered that you have a tattoo here." He said, finally laying eyes on the intricate bouquet of flowers that you had tattooed on your right thigh and that outlined it getting dangerously close to your crotch. He traced the outlines of the design with his trembling fingers, moving up your dress enough to get a peek at your panties. They were pink and lacy, and his cock pulsed inside his pants.

"Did you like it?" You asked innocently and Stephen swallowed thickly.

"Oh, I loved it." He responded mischievously and then turned his attention back to the actual drawing. "But I'm curious, why tattoo here?"

"Looks good in a bikini." You responded with a playful smile on your lips.

"Hum, I guess I need to see that."

"You'll have to take me to the beach."

"Oh, it's definitely in my plans now."

You smiled broadly already contemplating  the idea of seeing Stephen in trunks.

"So, you liked the photos?"

"I loved them, sweetheart, but I don't like the idea of ​​other men looking at you.

"Hum, jealous?"

He smirked. "Perhaps a bit, but I definitely loved the photos."

You hummed happily watching him trace the flower petals gently with his fingers.

"Does it hurt?" He asked, genuinely curious. Stephen never thought about getting tattooed. Not because of the pain, he was used to feeling pain, but because he didn't think it suited him. It was totally the opposite with you. He loved each one of your tattoos.

"Tattooing?"

"Yeah."

You thought for a second as if you were choosing the best way to explain.

"It hurts a little, not a lot. But it depends on the place too. This one was pretty painful. But I have a good resistance to tattoo pain. It's quite different with piercings, though."

"I heard that some people even like the pain." He pointed out and you grimaced.

"Definitely not me. I am a crybaby when it comes to pain."

He smirked, pulling down your dress again and covering the tattoo completely.  "I'll be very gentle, then."

You felt your cheeks getting hot again. He was so cocky and sweet and dirty all at the same time. He was passionate and you couldn't resist him, you could feel yourself literally melting for him, totally aware of the wetness in your panties and you had never felt that way for any man.

Suddenly you felt a little bold.

"There's one you haven't seen yet." You told him knowing it would make him interested and at the same time trying to hide how much his comment messed with you. "No one has seen it yet."

He smirked kissing you "I'm afraid to ask where it is, sweetheart."

You chuckled, turning onto your stomach and crossing your feet, swaying your legs cutely in the air.

 "Why don't you search for it, then?" You suggested giving him a sweet wink.

He chuckled in disbelief but gave in to curiosity and sat down.

"Is not here." He said tickling your feet and making you giggle. His hands ran down your legs and you closed your eyes feeling the heat and gentle tremor of his hands running up your thighs.

"It's not on your legs, nor on your thighs. Perhaps..."

You bit your bottom lip when his hands went under your dress. That was without a doubt the most erotic thing you had ever done. - Forget the shitty handjob.

"Can I?" Stephen asked, a little unsure of what he was doing, but when you hummed positively, he felt impelled to continue. He lifted the delicate fabric of your dress and was treated to the sight of your cute little round ass adorned by the lace of your pink panties. Your skin was so delicate that all Stephen could think about was how beautiful it would look with his red handprint on it. But instead, he caressed your cheeks, feeling his cock throbbing again in his pants.

"Definitely not here."

 He continued lifting the dress until he finally found it, in your lower back, above the waistband of your panties. Just one word written in delicate cursive: sweetheart.

Stephen couldn't contain the little groan that escaped his lips. He was speechless, one part of his brain went into short circuit and the other was trying to understand if that was on purpose or not, but you answered his silent question almost immediately.

"I made it after the night you called me like this for the first time. I didn't tell anyone and I know it was a bad idea, but I like it. I like it even more now."

Stephen traced the letters with his fingers and without holding back he leaned to kiss the tattoo lingeringly, watching your skin prickle with the touch and to his surprise you pressed your thighs together and moaned. An unmistakable sweet little moan.

Stephen was determined to play nice, but you had just made everything very difficult for him. He could barely think straight. All his blood seemed to immediately descend into his dick.

"You always wanted to be my sweetheart, didn't you?" His voice sounded almost shaky coming from behind you and you couldn't deny the truth in his words.

"Yes."

Stephen moved his lips up your back, biting your skin over the thin fabric of your dress. He was practically on top of you and even though he was holding most of his weight in his arms, you could feel it and it felt so good.

When he brushed aside your hair and ran his lips down the back of your neck, your entire body trembled and you gasped, delighting in the feeling of his beard on your skin.

"Feels good, uh?" He teased and you responded with a shaky uhum.

He chuckled, pleased to see your reaction to his touch, and brought his lips to your ear. He licked and nibbled it and then spoke in his baritone voice. "I'm not going to take your virginity tonight, but that doesn't mean we can't play a little."

You barely realized you were holding your breath until it escaped your mouth in slow puffs.

He pressed his hard on against you, grinding himself in your ass and it felt so good. For the first time in your life, you craved the intrusion. You wanted him inside you.

"That is if you want it, of course." He whispered in your other ear, nibbling on your earlobe. "I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to, Y/n. Never. But you'll have to tell me."

You hummed trying to find your voice. "I want to."

"Good girl." He cooed letting out a satisfied hum and got off of you and laid down by your side again.

"Then lay down here on top of me." He instructed cupping your cheek and kissing you softly.

Your cheeks were hot, but your entire body was hot now. The arousal between your legs so obvious that even you could smell it.

You moved to do as he asked, but he corrected you. “Hike up your dress.”

You overcame your shyness and knelt down next to him and did as he asked, but before you could straddle him, he flicked his fingers and his jeans and shirt were replaced by a pair of sweatpants and a tee.

"How did you do that?" You gasped.

"Lots of practice." He responded grabbing your hand and pulling you on top of him.

"I like your panties. Does the bra match them?"

You just nodded, unable to say anything.

"Hum, would you let me see it?" He asked, lifting his hips up to make you feel his erection on your core. The sensation made his entire body shake.

"I don't know, Stephen. What if someone shows up and sees us?"

He shook his head confidently, "Wong and America will be spending the night at the Kamar Taj. They're most likely sleeping right now."

You thought for a moment and then confirmed with him "We are not having sex tonight."

Stephen shook his head and smirked watching you take off your dress and throw it on the floor and then he devoured you with his eyes. All matching in pink lace, all for him. Your breasts were small, but they were beautiful. His cock pulsed beneath you.

"There are many ways to have sex, sweetheart and not all of them involve penetration. I'll show you."

He held your waist with one hand and the other he took between you and grabbed his cock through the fabric of his pants positioning it the way he wanted and then he opened his arms for you. "Come here."

You surrendered to his request and let yourself be enveloped by his strong arms. Your legs on either side of his waist, straddling him and when you dropped the weight of your body on top of him, the contact of his erection on your covered core made you both gasp at the sensation.

You could feel how hard he was and he could feel the moisture seeping through the fabric of your panties and making him wet.

Stephen was so proud to be responsible for making you wet like that. All the surprise and sudden fear of discovering that you were a virgin was replaced by satisfaction and uncontrollable desire. Knowing you were so innocent sparked something in him and only his conscience was holding him back. However, he felt his control slipping away with each passing second.

He cupped your cheeks with both hands and kissed you hard and then moved his lips down your chin, nibbling lightly until he reached your neck. He kissed, bit and sucked the skin pulling a hum from your throat and without you realizing you started to grind yourself in his erection and Stephen felt as if an electric current had passed through his body.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Stephen teased moving his hands to your ass cheeks and forcing you back and forth and without any shame he moaned.

"Shit, it definitely feels good for me."

You couldn't believe what you were doing. Your cheeks were so hot they felt like they were on fire, your entire body was shaking and you couldn't respond because you seemed to have lost the ability to speak.

Still, your body seemed to have a mind of its own and before you knew it you were moving alone on top of him, completely surrendered to the desire that took over you.

"Oh my god, Stephen... what are we doing?"

He smirked and bit your chin  "We are having fun, sweetheart. Tell me, does it feel good?"

You moaned, increasing the pace of your hips on top of him, his hard cock providing you with delicious friction on your covered clit.

You cupped his face between your hands and pulled him for a desperate kiss, your tongue entered his mouth and clashed with his in a battle of pure lust. Stephen hummed in your mouth, positively surprised by your change in behavior resulting from your arousal state.

"Feels so good... Oh Stephen..." You whimpered, letting yourself be carried away by the moment and he wrapped his arms around your waist, keeping you impossibly close to him.

"You can hide your face in me if it helps you feel more comfortable." He said. "Just keep moving, sweetheart. Don't stop."

You did exactly as he suggested, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, letting your body guide you through all the sensations, inhaling Stephen's scent into your lungs and feeling the familiar knot tightening in your stomach. It was embarrassing, but your walls clenched around nothing.

"Stephen..."

His name. Stephen lost count of how many times he found himself fantasizing about you moaning his name like that. It was so beautiful. The sweet noises you made were so beautiful.

He hummed thrusting up to increase the sensation and you could feel his dick throbbing beneath you and somehow you knew he was as close as you were.

"It's okay, sweetheart, don't hold back, let go for me. Pretend you're alone in your room doing whatever you do when you think of me." He whispered in your ear.

Stephen knew you were holding back, shyness getting in your way, preventing you from reaching your sweet release, but when you followed his advice, he felt your movements getting faster, your sweet pussy rubbing against his dick faster and harder and so quickly he understood that you had finished, he also felt himself cumming.

Your heart was pounding in your ears. Your eyes were closed, but you could see flashes of light in the darkness as your entire body seemed to convulse on top of Stephen's. You moaned loudly and your moan was followed by Stephen's groan and you felt his body trembling beneath yours and then a strange wetness wetted between your legs. It took you a few seconds to understand what it was and when you did you felt your entire face burning. You thought it was ridiculous that you were still capable of blushing after what you had done, but Stephen thought it was adorable.

He stroked your hair and you finally found the courage to look at him and when you did there was a wide smile on his lips and his eyes had a sparkle that you had never seen before. He caressed your cheeks and before saying anything, he gently pulled you to his lips and kissed you softly. When he broke the kiss you opened your mouth, but closed it again not knowing what to say and ended up nuzzling your face in his. Like a cat. You just wanted to be so fucking close to him. Never ever to be apart again.

"You okay?" He asked, sounding just as unsure as you were. Your entire body was shaking, but you nodded and he held you in his arms.

"Sweetheart, you can talk to me."

You cleared your throat. "I don't know what to say. I've never done this before. I don't know what people talk about after they do it."

Stephen smiled. "We can talk about anything. You can start by telling me what's on your mind right now." He suggested.

"I love you." You ran to say before you lost your courage and Stephen smiled again. A smile you hadn't seen before. A little surprised, a little incredulous, but extremely satisfied.

"It's what's on my mind right now, but at the same time it feels like it's all over my body. I've never felt like this before."

"It's your hormones. Oxytocin to be precise. I’m feeling it too. It's always special when you do it with someone you love. And we barely did anything, sweetheart."

You cupped his face "Do you? Love me?"

He sighed, holding your chin between his index finger and thumb. "Yes I do. I've fought my feelings for so long, Y/n. You have no idea how good it feels to finally be able to feel them."

You nodded. "Actually I do. I loved you from the first moment I saw you and I waited five years for Tony to bring you back to me. Still, I never thought I could have you. I thought I would always have to love you from afar."

Stephen held your face between his shaking hands. "I'm here now. We're together, sweetheart."

You felt your eyes getting wet with tears, so many feelings building up in your chest, your stomach was feeling weird, but you fought against it, afraid that Stephen might find it childish to see you crying.

"I still can't believe what we just did." You said hiding your face in him.

"Hey, none of that! No more shyness. I want you to tell me, did you like it? Because, I think it was pretty obvious that I liked it."

You gave a small giggle. You were well aware of the mess between your legs. "I liked it. It was really good. I've never... well, you know."

"What?" He insisted.

"I've never cum with someone before. It's always been a solo experience."

He smirked, "I don't know if we can classify it as solo if I was on your mind the whole time." He teased.

He was so cocky, even at that moment. But you liked it.

"I never thought it could be done like this." You confessed and Stephen chuckled, stroking your back absently.

"Men can be creative when they want to have sex. And there are many ways to do it. I'll show you. To be honest, I'm pretty excited about the idea of ​​being your first. Being the one who will show you all the good stuff."

You smiled to yourself, feeling your body slowly relax. Your heartbeat returning to normal.

 "I thought if you knew I was a virgin, you would get scared and run away."

He shook his head. "I was scared, really, but I didn't think about running away from you. Quite the opposite."

You smiled and pulled him back to your lips and Stephen sighed contently, feeling all his worries melt away as he realized that you were okay with what you’ve done.

He knew he hadn't planned it, but in his defense, seeing that tattoo on you did things to him.

Either way he was more than pleased with the way the night turned out. There were definitely a few months of pent-up sexual frustration inside him and his hands helped to a certain extent, but he needed something more. And as much as dry humping seemed like a teenager thing to him, he couldn't deny that he loved the experience. However, the resulting mess left him feeling wet and sticky and definitely in need of a shower.

He caressed your face gently.

"I need to clean up now, sweetheart. I made quite a mess in my pants."

You agreed, dismounting and sat down next to him, looking a little unsure of what to do next.

Stephen stood up and allowed himself to actually look at you dressed only in a set of pink lingerie, your panties wet with your fluids and his. Your hair was all messed up, your lips were swollen from all the kisses and the skin around your mouth was burned by his beard. You looked beautiful and most importantly, you were his. He was still trying to get used to the idea.

He reached out to you. "Come on. I'll give you a change of clean clothes. You can't keep those dirty panties."

You looked at him a little shyly, but you let yourself be pulled. Stephen grabbed your dress and the two of you slowly walked up the stairs.

Stephen's room was bigger than the room you slept in the night he saved you at the night club. His bed was huge, a four poster bed.

You barely noticed that you had stopped in the middle of the room to stare at the bed or that he had left you to your thoughts and walked away when he returned with a tee and a boxer brief and handed them to you.

"You can use the bathroom. Make yourself at home. I'm going to take a shower in the next room. I'll be back in a minute."

You nodded, watching him grab a change of clothes and leave the room.

Stephen didn't know what to expect from the rest of the night, but it was already after 3 am when he went down to the Sanctum lounge to turn off the TV, which was now playing some random music that he didn't recognize. He picked up the bottle of wine and the glasses and took them to the kitchen and then picked up your jacket and boots and went back to his room.

You were sitting in one of the armchairs next to the fireplace. His tee was big enough to cover your thighs and you had braided your hair now. The little makeup you were wearing seemed to disappear. He had never seen you so natural, so simple and yet so beautiful. Stephen was still reluctant to understand how you could bewitch him like that. He never felt that way about any woman.

"I used your toothbrush. I hope you don't mind." You informed with a shy smile.

"Not at all." He responded closing the bedroom door and placing your boots on the floor next to the bed and hanging your jacket on the free armchair next to you.

"I don't know what I should do now. Should I leave?" You said being one hundred percent sincere. You had never had that level of intimacy with anyone, you didn't know how things worked and looking at Stephen dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt was giving you an air of domesticity that was achingly passionate and inviting.

Stephen shook his head, "No. I mean, I can take you home if you want. In fact, I can open a portal to your room right now, but... I don't want you to leave."

You smiled shaking your head "I don't want to go either. I don't want to be away from you."

He reached out to you, "Then stay with me. Tomorrow morning I'll take you to your room, if you want."

You pretended to think for a moment, but the truth was that you agreed to the idea immediately.

"Don't think too much. We did nothing wrong." Stephen reaffirmed. "It was actually really good and you are still a virgin as I promised." He smirked. "Spend the night with me. I won't try anything else, I promise."

You sighed, holding his hand and letting yourself be dragged to the bed.

"Smart girls would say it's not smart to go to bed with the guy you like on the first date." You teased as you crawled under the comforter and made yourself comfortable on the pillows. Stephen's scent was permeating them and that was definitely your favorite scent now.

"Practically speaking, we can't even say this was a date. At least not a traditional one." He responded and to your surprise he took off his shirt before lying down next to you and you had to swallow your saliva when you saw him half naked for the first time.

"We… drank wine and danced... It's...very traditional for me." You struggled to finish the thought. Of course you knew that Stephen had a well-defined physique. Just by looking at him you could already deduce that, and you could also feel his muscles under his shirt, but actually seeing them was something else entirely. You were practically drooling and you doubted he didn't notice the way you were devouring him with your eyes, but he didn't say anything, just crawled under the comforter with you. You felt your body becoming tense at the new situation, but Stephen had a way of making everything better just by smiling at you.

"Remember I mentioned before about using a spell or two on you?" He said touching your neck. "I guess I'll have to do it now if we don't want Pepper to see this."

You touched the spot where he was touching and your skin felt slightly sore.

"Did you leave a hickey on me?" You asked incredulously. You had just brushed your teeth in front of the mirror. How did you not see that?

He smirked, "In my defense, you didn't make things easy for me when you made me feel so good."

You chuckled, "So now it's my fault?"

"For being cute and delicious? Yes."

Before you could think of how to respond to that, he moved his fingers and orange light emanated from his hand.

You flinched a little. "Will it hurt?" You asked and he shook his head.

"No, but you will feel a strange sensation. May I?"

You nodded and he brought his hand closer, letting his magic touch you. It was warm and ticklish, but it wasn't a bad feeling. In fact, you even liked it.

"And it's done." He reported and just as it came, the orange light disappeared.

"This is super cool." You said "Can you show me more?"

He smiled. Sometimes you reminded him of America. So young and excited about everything. But Stephen shook his head, dismissing the thought and berating himself. He definitely needed to stop comparing you to America now.

"I will, but not tonight. I think you've had too many new experiences for one night."

You sighed in frustration, rolling your eyes. "Now you're talking like you're my dad."

"Well, I'm old enough to be, aren't I?"

"Okay. Whatever."

You lifted your head and adjusted the pillows trying to get comfortable. Stephen adjusted himself, turning to his side and took your hand in his, your fingers intertwining.

"We need to talk about something important." He said, blue eyes fixed on you.

"What?"

"Birth control. I assume you're not on anything."

"I didn't need to be...until now."

Stephen nodded, reaching his other hand to touch your cheek. "It's okay. You're right. You had no reason to use anything if you weren't sexually active, but now we need to think about it and I don't want you to think for even a second that you need to figure it all out on your own."

You nodded. "You're a doctor. You can prescribe something for me."

He smirked. "For your head, certainly. Or if you're having some trouble with your nerves. I'm a neurosurgeon, sweetheart. But what I can actually do is refer an old co-worker to you. She works in a hospital not too far from here. You can talk to her and choose the best method for you."

You nodded and Stephen leaned to kiss your lips softly and then sighed. "And I'm going to get tested for STDs. Even though it's been almost six months since I've had sex, I want to be sure."

You looked at him, looking surprised.

"What is it?"

But you just shook your head and bit your bottom lip.

"Tell me."

"It's just... being who you are and because of your appearance... I didn't think you'd go this long without..."

He nodded. "All my sexual relations over the last few years have been one-night stands, sweetheart. And to be quite honest, being in love with you, no woman has seemed like a good enough substitute."

"That's sweet." You smiled realizing you were tracing his goatee with your index finger and giving a long yawn.

"I like your goatee. I think I have a thing for men with nice facial hair"

Stephen kissed your hand sweetly and caressed your cheek.

"And I love you." He completed. "But I'll let you sleep now, sweetheart. We can talk more in the morning."

"Hum, okay. Good night." You answered with your eyes already closed.

"Good night."

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing ;)

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[joyce-stick]

The Beef Stroganoff Song! (arbitrary subtitle discourse edition)

So, you may have noticed here that the subtitles in this clip (from Symphogear GX episode 3) are fairly different from what you're used to seeing when people post this video, and the phrasing in the subtitles is fairly different from what the associated memes often say

For those who don't know, Symphogear got itself released on blu-ray by Discotek, and with that came with a new translation authored by Noelle (@ulsairi on twitter ) who is notable for being the only trans lesbian anime translator I know of off the top of my head.

Her translation appears, in my opinion, really rather polished and very good, and I strongly appreciate the way it's written and how much character it adds to the dialogue by giving everyone distinct voices and adapting things into more natural English. It's also a fair bit gayer. I haven't encountered many people who've seen these subs, but I think most fans of the series would consider these a net positive change. There are some people who are mad about these subtitles, and they can die mad.

Anyway, let's talk about the different phrasing of the beef stroganoff song. I'm mostly going to compare to Crunchyroll's subtitles for reference since that seems to be what most others go off of. Here's a link to that version.

So right off the bat we can see here that while CR's translation appears to be a lot more, for lack of a better word, functional, Noelle's translation tries to apply more dialectal force "it's beef stroganoff/Yes! It's THAT beef stroganoff!" And generally communicate through the tone how excited the girls are to get started. Additionally you'll see throughout that the latter is a fair bit more lyrical, there's a lot more punctuation and verbal tics and filler phrases written into the dialogue to express that they are singing, which makes sense since Japanese tends to omit a lot of the sorts of prepositions that Noelle threw in here,

Like, Yumi (yes I went and looked up her name on the wiki) just says "beef stroganoffu" because it's obvious from context that it is beef stroganoff, she doesn't need to spell it out, at least, not in Japanese

(We know like maybe ten hiragana and 1 kanji do not trust us on Japanese this is all just basic shit we learned from online guides)

So this probably leads to a rushed translator from Crunchyroll (they are notoriously crunched for time) who's just trying to Get It Done probably not really bothering to throw in extra additional connecting letters to express the tone of the character, only doing so when it's required to make basic grammatical sense in the target language. So they likely didn't think to make the subtitles have flourishes like this that aren't explicitly in the original Japanese. Noelle meanwhile had the time to consider things like this and take such liberties in order to attempt to convey the same tone that was arguably implied by the Japanese, even if not explicitly put forth

And that's about all the things I should not repeat I guess, TL;DR, these subtitles are more fun to read because the translator had more time to think about the best way to make them more fun while still being accurate to the spirit of the original dialogue, who'd have thought!

(In case you're wondering, the Commie subtitles say kind of the same thing here, and y'know, it doesn't seem like a wrong translation, but also I really dislike this subtitle styling, orange on pink with that font and that drop shadow is just kinda bad. I appreciate the effort but like. Come on. Please fansubbers, please think about if the font and colors you chose actually work with the image you're putting them on)

Moving on!

horizontal and middle rhyme with each other so you can almost actually sing this, actually let me take a moment to try it right now- never mind, I can't sing. Hahaha. I don't actually think it lines up that well with the melody But I thought it did! Didn't I? That's significant, that this actually reads like plausible lyrics to a silly song someone made up instead of a literal translation of a Japanese song

Anyway, here comes the first major difference!

So in the Crunchyroll subtitles, Yumi says "it doesn't have to be beef" which in English (in my estimation) sounds a tad scatterbrained, like, "oh yeah sure beef but whatever really it doesn't actually matter," while Noelle's subtitles rather say "Got no beef? Don't you worry!" Which implies something different.

"It is recommended to use beef, but you may substitute something else if you are sorely lacking in beef" as opposed to "Oh the beef doesn't actually matter, zoinks lol!" CR's translation is kind of a bit funnier in how it sorta comes from nowhere without this qualification, which probably lead to this phrase's memeticness, but Noelle's translation seems more reasonable to me so yeah again, tada, yay for sensicalness.

Now here's another interesting change:

Again, the flat manner in which the CR subtitles say "finish with salt" with rendezvous only being included because that's literally what they said, is sort of absent any stronger emotional implication,

Noelle's translation meanwhile going with "don't forget them, they need it" imparts personhood upon the salt and pepper. The implication being that the girls are saying, "the salt and pepper are in love, please reunite them, they must be in gay love together." Or maybe you think the salt and pepper cannot be forgotten and must be reunited because they are Only Friends.

Whether you choose to believe that this is the salt and pepper getting married, or merely subtext, or an interpretation, or salt and pepper shipping bait, this is a deeply important tonal indicator because it reminds you that these girls are ultimately playing with their food!

"And there, now you're in for a treat!" I don't think I need to explain this one.

Now, here's an interesting one!

In the Crunchyroll subtitles, it just says the memetic "boys don't know this." With no context, no elaboration, no clarity, no qualifiers. Boys don't know. Did the boys magically get their brains wiped? Are the boys biologically incapable? Who knows. Nothing is said but that.

Noelle's subtitles, on the other hand, qualify this statement by saying "Boys aren't taught to cook, so they may not know" (And note again how, it says "kno-ow" to emphasize, once more, that they're singing, and also this lines up with the long "ooooo" sound they make at the end of this lyric, so cool)

There is now context! Boys aren't taught to cook! Anime and Japan's culture in general still pigeonholes people into gender roles! And an anime translator just wrote you a hidden translation note about it! You might be a boy, you might know how to cook, but certain boys in another part of the world aren't traditionally taught cooking, so they may not know

They may not, but they could!

Trust a trans person to express gender facts with subtle nuances like this in anime translations.

And with that lovely bit of good translation and good writing and good localization of a thing to make it make sense to people

Mew!

[wings-of-ink]

Ask Guidelines

For the sake of streamlining my inbox, please follow the guidelines below when submitting Asks. I appreciate all your questions, but I simply find that I lack enough free time to spend with them. Some weeks are busier than others for my inbox, but I personally feel it's a bit unfair to those of you who may be waiting a long time for a response. Plus, I do need some "me" time now and again, no matter how much I love sailing around on here.

The biggest and most important thing:  Reaction/Response-style Asks need to be paired down. These are lots of fun for all of us, but they take up a majority of the time I spend on the inbox. When you submit a request like this, please specify your top 2 (max of 3) characters (ROs, side characters, etc…) you want to know the answer for. If you do not specify, I will pick for you based on how quickly I can answer. I'll note, that if you are curious about both parents in GC, I will count them as 1 "person" so you don't have to choose between daddies.

Please do not submit multiple Asks with the same question for the other characters. This will just eat up my time, and I do not want to delete them, but I will have to.

If your question has been asked before, I will try to find a link to it for you (most of these I have tracked in a document). I haven't yet put together an FAQ since I really don't get a ton or repeats for the same questions. One day, I may make a searchable document with them.

Comments and error reports are still very much welcome. If you by chance do not want a response posted, please simply let me know if that is what you prefer. I generally like to post at least a little response to these for you, but if that makes you uncomfortable, please let me know in the Ask.

Music suggestions are welcome (for instance if a song makes you think of a particular character).

Art suggestions are welcome (if an art piece makes you think of a character and such).

Asks that are long/wordy are still okay, as long as they meet the other Ask criteria. I don't mind reading a lot since I can still do that fairly fast (and I totally understand the need for context or if you have several comments to make). I can be wordy myself, so I get it, sometimes you just want those details in there. You may not get a super long response in return, but I read every word.

Try to space out your Asks in general. If you have, say, 3 or more questions, I would appreciate it if you could give me a buffer of time to respond. A good rule of thumb would be to wait until you get your first question answered, and then you submit your 2nd question and so on. This will also help you gauge how full my inbox is (or how much time I have to spare). Much of the time, I try to answer Asks in the order they are received. The only exception to that is if I get ones that I either need to think on a bit or the answer will take me a while to write.

NSFW Asks are totally okay with me. There is not much outside of my comfort-zone. If something is too far, in my opinion, for a public response - I will simply delete it and pop a courtesy post out to try and signal to you that it is one I cannot answer.

I was hoping to avoid placing any rules on my inbox, but I never anticipated this many followers or that anyone would have quite so many questions or comments for my work. This is to ensure that I keep myself controlled more-so than any of you. I have so much fun chatting with you and answering questions, that the IF writing and planning ends up delayed. Since that's why we're here, I need most of my free time to go to the IF(s) and any extras.

I will make updates to this post as needed. There will be a link to at the very end of the Pinned Post too. If the inbox gets a bit crazy or is too much to juggle during crunch times, I will continue to pause it during those so I can catch up.

Thank you and take care, everyone! ^_^

~Lunan

[puffcap-factory]

When Carpool Jams Gone Awry (Heartsteel Kayn x reader)

Heartsteel!Kayn x gn!reader; fluff, pure fluff, crack.

<Part 2 of "It all started with a missing guitar pick...">

After Ezreal witnessed the certain incident between you and Kayn in the past week, he decided to put matters in his own hands as a wingman and set you two on a quick car trip for just the two of you. I suggest reading the first one first for more context though, but it's completely up to you :)

Words: 2.4k

Notes: Idk why but heartsteel fics smh made me focus on the crack instead of the romance (oops). There’s 3 song references that I used for the fic btw. Oh, and I might try some spicier ones with Kayn though, he has so much potential. Anyways, enjoy the story! :D

•~•~•~•

The passenger seat became a silent observer to the awkwardness between you and Kayn as he settled into the driver's seat. You could practically feel the tension seeping into the air as you clicked on your seatbelt.

It wasn’t like this for the past few days, you thought. But why do you suddenly feel awkward now?

"So… it’s not the usual spot down the street then?" you asked, breaking the uncomfortable quietness.

"Nah, Ezreal mixed things up and ordered from somewhere else," Kayn replied with a grunt. “That prick…” he muttered under his breath, almost too quiet for you to catch. You noticed him setting the GPS of the car for about a 20-minute drive from your place.

Sensing the need to ease the tension, you reached over and turned on the radio, letting the music fill the car. You couldn't help but wonder how you had ended up in this situation.

•~•~•~•

It had been almost a week since that certain incident, yet neither you nor Kayn had mentioned anything about the guitar lesson or the fall. The week had also flown by with various schedules, leaving little time for just the two of you.

Kayn, although you knew that he had been acting like everything’s cool, couldn't hide the subtle changes in his behavior. You could tell by the way he would avoid prolonged eye contact when you talked to him, or felt his gaze when he occasionally stole quick glances at you when you weren’t looking. However, the interactions you had throughout the week with him were never personal; there weren’t many opportunities in the first place.

But tonight, it was Friday night, and the group had planned a barbecue on the rooftop of the dorm's apartment building. Everyone had pitched in to prepare, setting up grills and tables for a fun evening.

As the party kicked off and laughter filled the air, it was around 8 pm when you excused yourself to head back to your room for a bathroom break. On the stairs, you ran into Ezreal, who seemed a bit frantic.

"Hey, y/n! Perfect timing, I need your help," Ezreal said, rushing up the stairs.

"What's up, Ez?"

“So, I ordered these desserts for us,” he paused as he showed you his phone with the orders displayed. “But I accidentally selected ‘pick up’ instead of ‘delivery’! Can you come with me to grab them, pleaaase?” 

"Oh, sure, no problem," you replied casually. It seemed like a simple errand, nothing more. "I'll head to my room first, then meet you in the parking lot, okay?" you added.

“You’re the best!” Ezreal exclaimed, visibly relieved. “Take your time and I’ll be waiting downstairs then!” He headed back towards the rooftop eagerly, leaving you to make your way to your room.

You smiled at his reaction, and brushed off the thought of why he had seemed somewhat agitated for a mere errand, as you headed to the bathroom in your room.

After a moment, you finally made your way down to the basement level, ready to accompany Ezreal for the dessert pick-up. As you stepped out of the glass door of the parking lot, you spotted Kayn standing near the group’s SUV. He was looking at his phone, one hand in his pocket, seemingly to be waiting for you. He looked up as you approached, quickly pocketing his phone.

“Let’s go,” he said flatly, waiting for you to join him. 

“Wait, you’re the one who’s gonna pick up the ice cream?” You quipped as you went up to him. 

“Yeah, Ezreal claimed he had some ‘urgent tasks’ to handle,” he rolled his eyes, clearly not buying what Ezreal said. 

“Oh well…” you paused, starting to understand why he had seemed unusually excited. “Let’s go then.”

•~•~•~•

And that was how it went. It was clear to you that Ezreal had set up a sneaky scheme for you two. Although you certainly wouldn’t object to spend alone time together with Kayn, you had to admit it was a bit sudden. However, the lack of conversation was starting to bother you more than usual, somehow.

“I got to play a bit further into the song, you know?” you finally began.

“Oh? So, I assume your guitar lessons are going smoothly, hm?” Kayn asked, a small smirk tugging at his lips as he turned his head slightly towards you before facing back to the road.

“Of course,” you smiled to yourself, feeling a bit proud. “I’ve been practicing a bit before bed.”

“Show me later then,” he challenged with a smirk.

“Alright.”

Silence.

Okay, you’re not going to mention the fall, at least not yet. It seemed neither of you wanted to broach that topic. You were racking your brain for another conversation starter when a familiar song started playing in the background.

You couldn't resist vibing with the music, its lively tempo lifting the mood in the car as you started singing. Kayn was clearly enjoying the beat too, nodding along and joining you in singing. It quickly turned into a car karaoke jam.

“Bang bang into the room, I know you want it

Bang bang all over you, I’ll let you have it “

Oh. 

“Back, back seat of my car, I’ll let you have it

Wait a minute let me take you there, ah”

You pretended not to notice anything unusual and kept on singing, letting the beat carry you away. Why were you suddenly realizing the lyrics that didn’t bother you before? Kayn didn’t seem bothered either, at least not now, as he continued singing along. It was almost as if the music had created a little bubble of ease between the two of you, momentarily pushing aside any lingering tension.

The next song, however, shattered that bubble.

Kayn’s voice grew smaller and smaller as the lyrics seemed to get into his head.

“You like it wet and so do I…

…I know you never waste a drip”

You noticed his voice trailing off, but you pressed on, determined not to let the tension settle back in the air. Masking every awkwardness with your solo karaoke session, you threw yourself into the song, trying not to care about the awkward atmosphere.

Oh god, how much longer does this drive take.

You silently prayed for the next song to be less suggestive. Unfortunately, the radio playlist seemed to have other plans.

As soon as the next song played, Kayn went completely still beside you, his face straight, expressionless. The tension between you two became almost suffocating, thick in the air like a heavy fog.

“Push me up against the wall, don’t take it easy…

You like it hard like me, it’s what you need.”

You felt like jumping out of the car to escape the tension that filled the space. It was as if the song had suddenly laid bare all the unspoken tension between you and Kayn. He remained unresponsive as his gaze fixed straight ahead, and you could sense his uneasiness.

“Let’s get naked and explore our inner secrets…”

The words hung in the air, heavy and charged with meaning. Why was this song playing now of all times? You struggled to maintain your composure, but the blush creeping up your cheeks betrayed your cool. It was clear that the mood had shifted, and your confidence to continue singing wavered as your voice grew smaller and smaller. 

Even though the lyrics were etched into your mind, you tried to salvage the situation by nodding along with the beat. Neither of you dared to reach for the radio to change the song, as if both of you were in denial that the lyrics had stirred something between you two. The car was becoming like a pressure cooker, the tension almost tangible between you and him. 

Summoning your courage, you stole a glance at Kayn, whose gaze remained fixed straight ahead, visibly tense. His jaw was clenched, and you couldn't help but admire the view for a moment, before realizing you had stared for too long. He caught your gaze as he glanced to the side briefly.

“What?” he finally said, breaking the silence.

“O-oh, nothing,” you stammered, quickly glancing back to the front, a blush creeping up on your cheeks. “Is the shop still far?”

“No, it’s right there,” he motioned with his head, and you could see the small light panel displaying the logo of the fast food chain store.

Kayn then parked at the open lot, and you both stepped out from the car. Finally, a breath of fresh air, the one that you desperately needed. 

“Wait here, I’ll grab it quick,” Kayn said, taking the lead.

“I think I’ll borrow the bathroom,” you said with an awkward smile. He nodded in acknowledgment as he headed into the shop counter.

You made a straight dash for the bathroom, taking a moment to collect yourself and plan how to handle the rest of the drive back with him. You were sure you wouldn’t survive that same kind of tension again.

•~•~•~•

Meanwhile, Kayn, who had taken the orders, waited in the car. He knew he had been hiding his blush during the whole ride, not expecting the tension to be that intense. He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he tried to clear his head. His mind was busy replaying the events that had led to this awkward situation.

--

“Kayn – aw, come on, I swear it’s a quick drive!” Ezreal pleaded, holding out the car keys.

“Ugh, if it’s a quick drive then why are you asking me?” Kayn groaned in response.

“Because… because…” Ezreal trailed off.

“Hey, I’ll drive. I don’t mind,” K’sante offered from the side. 

“Oh… um,” Ezreal answered reluctantly, glancing at Kayn for a bit before a playful grin appeared on his face. “Alright then, y/n will be waiting down at the carpark,” Ezreal grinned mischievously as he handed the keys to K’sante.

Before K’sante could take them, Kayn snatched the keys from Ezreal’s hands.

“Fine. I’ll go.”

--

Kayn rubbed his forehead, realizing all too well that they had set this up for him. He did want to spend more time with you, but the unexpected set of songs playing on the radio had interrupted his more peaceful set of plans. He then turned on the radio, just to check what song was playing, but immediately turned it off as he heard another set of suggestive lyrics in it. 

Nope, not again.  

He sighed in attempt to ease his own tension, feeling it did not work, he went out from the car. He took a deep breath as he contemplated on what he should do for the rest of the drive as he held his one arm on the car to support his weight, as his head now facing down to the ground.

“Damn it…” he grumbled, his face reddening the more he thought about you.

Meanwhile, you had decided to buy a cone of vanilla ice cream after making up your mind in the bathroom. You figured some sweet treat might help salvage the time.

Just for another 20 minutes, you can do it, y/n.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling, you attempted to calm yourself before heading out of the store. As you made your way to the car, you found Kayn sitting at the metal bars near the parked car, seemingly lost in thought as he faced the other way.

“Uh… sorry to keep you waiting, Kayn,” you said softly, approaching him with your ice cream in hand. Kayn glanced at you briefly but didn't fully turn, still deep in his thoughts. Sensing he wanted to say something, you took a seat next to him on the metal bars, quietly enjoying your ice cream. 

“Hey,” he finally called out, his face still turned away.

“Y- yes?” You were somewhat startled by his sudden tense demeanor, but you waited for him to continue. The sudden tension made your heart begin to beat faster.

He cursed under his breath, rubbing his face with his palm as if trying to shake off his uneasiness. Then, in a mumble, he said, “I’ll just ask this straight.”

“…Are you seeing someone?” His face still away from you, his voice tense.

“No…” you replied softly, a bit taken aback by the question.

He let out an exhale, rubbing the back of his neck as his face started to redden. “Do you… want to go out… with me?” His voice trailed off, barely audible.

Glancing at him, you noticed his face turned away, his ears tinged with pink. A smile crept onto your face.

Without hesitation, you softly placed your hand on his, which was resting on the metal bars.

He immediately turned to face you, his pinkish face now fully visible as you beamed a smile at him. Nodding happily, you conveyed your answer without words. You didn’t care anymore if your face turned as red as a tomato; seeing your reaction, Kayn's bashfulness immediately changed into a cocky smirk.

"Heh," he chuckled, his smirk widening although his blush was still present. "Looks like it’s not that hard to ask you out."

“Huh, what do you mean by that?” you teased, squeezing the hand which held his.

“Argh, your hand is all sticky!” he exclaimed, standing up and trying to shake off the melted ice cream.

“Kayn!” you laughed, feeling the tension dissipate as you both made your way towards the car door, ready to head back. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your hearts. 

You settled in the car seat when Kayn suddenly leaned closer from his seat. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, his fingers hovered near your nose.

“What?” you asked, trying to keep a straight face.

He grinned, his fingers lightly touching the ice cream stain on your nose. “You’re so sloppy,” he teased, before playfully sucking the melted ice cream off his fingers.

You couldn’t help but blush furiously, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks as he chuckled. Kayn's demeanor had definitely lightened up, but the car ride back home was a relentless onslaught of teasing directed at you. With or without music, his remarks kept you on edge, and though you wouldn’t admit it, deep down you were secretly enjoying it. 

Was 20 minutes this short?

•~•~•~•

Meanwhile, back in the dorm, K’sante glanced at his wristwatch, a bemused expression on his face. "Aren’t they kinda late?" he asked, turning to Ezreal.

Ezreal simply grinned, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. "Let them be," he replied with a knowing smile. "They'll be back with stories, I'm sure."

[eggyrocks]

do you have ANY more thoughts abt nishinoya and/or hinata? i love the way u write them so much 🔥🔥‼‼

good luck w the last bits of calloused hands!!!! you can do this im praying 4u

do i have any more thoughts on nishinoya and hinata??? are there stars in the sky. does the sun rise and set each day. sorry for being dramatic but no i’m not

answering this in the context of calloused hands and not like general headcannons bc unfortunately for you guys i am obsessed with my own content

nishinoya wants to be a menace so bad

like this is the type of man to join random groups on facebook with filled with lead poisoned boomers just to troll and piss them off

he loves to cause problems on purpose

but despite his best efforts he’s actually the most dependable and reliable person in his friend group

he literally does not even realize he’s doing it but whenever his friends need something he’s literally there

like when everyone was moving into their apartments he was there, lifting as many boxes as he could (and also not being able to see past them)

yachi can’t open a jar? he’s got it no worries. tanaka got lost? he’s on the phone guiding him. yn needs to get home? he’ll walk her

like he’ll make fun of them the whole time

but he’s still there for them like 10000% of the time

hes also loud and honest so he always says whatever it is he’s thinking

even if it’s NOT what they wanna hear (ch 19 of calloused hands)

but it always comes from a place of love and care

he just has a big mouth and when his friends are being stupid it’s not like he’s gonna stop having a big mouth

the type to say what everyone else is thinking and not even sugar coat it even a little

but also nishinoya’s the most loyal person to ever exist ever

try saying something bad about one of his friends and live to see the next day

challenge level: impossible

he & yn have the most extreme sibling dynamic for non siblings to have

they bicker constantly and then switch to hanging out like normal to wrestling to just chilling

like they’re so brother and sister

arguably the closest in the band

they make fun of each other all the time but if anyone else tries to join in it’s over immediately

like noya will be like “yn you’re so annoying i hope you get shot” but when anyone else tries to join in and agree with him he’ll be like “???? what the fuck are you talking about why would you talk about my best friend like that”

during their shows they’re definitely doing the most crowd work between songs and their just heckling their audience and also each other

“sorry our guitar player sucks and also is dressed like a fucking nerd”

“noya can you reach the microphone okay or do you need me to adjust the mic stand for you”

they’ll go back and forth like that for a little bit until eventually tanaka will just start counting them into a song and they rush to start playing

they’re so close that it’s honestly kind of intimidating to outsiders

it’s not that their other friends are left out or anything they’re just not on that same vibe

they’re like that one gif of the two girls whispering and giggling to each other u know the one i’m talking about

and HINATA!!!!!

love that guy

after kuroo and yn start dating and each of their friend groups start spending more and more time together, yn and noya eventually adopt hinata into their duo and make it a trio

and everyone’s like ??? how did he do that

but hinata just exists on the same vibe as them

also hinata’s the only person noya and yn don’t make fun of or tease at all (including each other)

they kinda like take hinata under their wing like that’s their dude!!! their friend !!!!

like if noya and yn have a sibling dynamic, it’s like they’re twins and hinata’s their little brother

hinata shows the most interest in learning more about punk subculture and yn and noya are more than excited to show him

take him to see other bands play and introduce him to zines and tell him abt punk history

and he’s stoked to learn more and more about it

hinata’s always trying to be supportive and encouraging of them and their band

but sometimes it backfires

“i’m sure everyone will love your new album don’t even worry! and even if it’s bad it’s not like you had a ton of fans to listen to it in the first place so not a lot of people will hear it!”

“oh….great…thanks hinata”

he’s also literally doing something 24/7

and he never wants to do it alone

so everyone always has texts from him like “hey do you wanna practice with me” “hey do you wanna get dinner””hey do you wanna take this cooking class with me” “do you want to do pottery with me”

everyone is always perplexed as to when he sleeps

also he has like a ton of friends that his other friends don’t know

it seems like every other business day he’s posting a new selfie on insta with a friend they’ve never heard of

and everyone’s always like “hinata who the hell is this?“

“oh thats my friend sakusa we hang out all the time”

“???? when”

everyone that mets him loves him he has no opps

also he’s the best gift giver

he always knows what to give everyone for every occasion so every single time someone is stuck getting a gift they ask him for advice

problem is he can’t keep a secret

when yn asked him what to get kuroo from his birthday and hinata responded with the perfect gift, he didn’t even think about it when he took a screenshot of their convo and sent it to kuroo

he was just excited he didnt mean to spoil the surprise

he’s just a lil dumb sometimes

but that’s okay so are all his other friends <33333

[atthebell]

do you have any recommendations/resources to learn spanish?? i've been using busuu for about 104 days now, imo opinion it's actually pretty fun and i like it but i think my main problem with it is that it goes too fast?? it's hard to explain. it's also started to feel kinda repetitive to me. i still love busuu and i'm going to continue with my course, but it'd be nice to also have something else. like, preferably not an app, maybe a textbook or a website or something :D i don't really WHERE to find resources for language learning, despite being bilingual, i never really had to look on the internet to learn the languages i speak now, i picked it up from the people around me you know?

i've also been ''using'' duolingo but tbh, i really hate it. it feels boring to me, everyday it's ''ok what sentence am i going to be forced to write for the 40th time today?'' the single 'square' has 5 lessons and a 'unit' has around 10-8 of those squares and to finish a 'unit' you have to do about 50-45 of those lessons, which is shit because a 'unit' is only going to teach about 3 sentence structures and if you're lucky maybe 5. it's so shit, those greedy fuckers basically made it unusable. i've been using for about 140 days now, every single day i take at least one lesson, and it STILL has not taught me a SINGLE spanish tense. btw, i even had an entire phase where i would finish UNITS in about an hour and a half (1 min or less for every lesson) and still not a single ''pretérito Indefinido'' actual pain 🫠🫠 one day ll delete that app, one day (i guess that's why i like busuu in the first place, it actually teaches you these tenses and even some slang while duolingo makes you write ''papá, quiero visitar a nuestra abuela'' for the 700th time this week)

i want to watch vods and stuff, but tbh, i feel way too embarrassed? like, i don't know enough spanish to really understand them and even when they say basic sentences that i understand, i still have to listen to it multiple times and slow down the clip for me to really get it. the thing with spanish is that i'll understand the meaning of the words being said but i need to take a second or so to really comprehend what they mean together you know? i don't want to have to watch the stream slowed down because that would definitely make me feel stupid 😭 maybe when i have better spanish i'll start watching vods. although i do listen to spanish songs sometimes, it's fun :D

first thing: you don't have to feel embarrassed about needing time to process things/needing to listen to things slowed down. language learning is difficult and there are a lot of obstacles for many people; this is something i do understand and want to stress that i get that it's hard. you are not a bad person or an idiot or whatever for having a hard time understanding things-- you are still learning, and besides that, sometimes hearing things isn't someone's strong suit (it absolutely did not use to be mine, but i've practiced a lot and gotten much better at it. i'm still much much better at reading text in other languages, but it is something you can always improve on). if you need to take extra time to watch things, that is not a personal fault of yours nor does it make you stupid. everyone has different skill sets, and you can always practice to get better.

second thing: my own criticisms of both busuu and duolingo, along with their strengths. duolingo first, because i've used it since like. idk like 2016? not consistently but i've used it far more over the years and i'm very familiar with various changes they've made and the esp, ptbr, and french courses. busuu ive only been using for a few months

to get it out of the way, the recent change to laying off translators and using more AI in lessons. this sucks, obviously, for a myriad of reasons. machine translation cannot match with human translation, and frankly never will be able to. there are vast amounts of nuance and cultural context necessary for translation, along with the fact that an AI led course does not actually hit on all the things someone needs, particularly on a basics/foundational level. and from an ethical standpoint, laying off a ton of human translators because you think you can replace them with inaccurate machine translation sucks and is why so many people have dropped duolingo, myself included.

duolingo also has limitations in terms of format-- it gamifies language learning, which can make it feel more accessible to people and makes people want to open it and practice every day. however, most people use duolingo to do one lesson once a day and that's it. they're not getting in practice from lessons previously completed, they're not drilling vocab or conjugations, they're not actually maintaining or even remembering what they've already learned. obviously there are people (like myself, when i still used the app) who practice far more than that and continue to drill previous lessons, but that's not the majority, and it's not incentivized by the app. the paywalling of completing certain lessons and being able to drill error words also sucks for this reason. basically duolingo is not an ideal setup for actually maintaining knowledge once you go through it the first time and also the way the courses are laid out just. does not, imo, actually make sense. they rarely actually explain what they're trying to teach you and they don't get into enough detail on most concepts. and there is no incentive to review, which is hugely important. not an ideal situation for language learning, especially on its own.

my pros for duolingo: it gets you to practice daily. this is honestly what i use busuu for at this point-- when i get a notif for it, i open it up and flick through a lesson, but i also pull out a textbook or two to look at things there and practice stuff. if whipping out duolingo every day helps you practice a language, that is, at bare minimum, something. preferably you should be studying for at least 15min if not up to an hour or more of a language a day in order to really pick things up and maintain them; you can absolutely use duolingo or busuu for that (busuu i think is far less well formatted and oftentimes the lessons are very specific vocab, at least in the later courses).

for busuu, my issues are like. it's a poorly made imitation of duolingo, aside from a few things. the community aspect is something i REALLY like-- being able to send an exercise to a native speaker and get feedback on what to work on is great, especially with how it's a short answer question that lets you form your own sentences and try out vocab in context. that's a wonderful feature, and i really think it gets at something duolingo is completely missing.

but yeah like i said in terms of the lessons, busuu has very strange ways of teaching things. firstly, it's usually super specific topics and vocab that aren't paired with anything conceptually that helps you progress. usually in a language course, it's best to pair a concept you're working on with either relevant vocab or something that can be used to talk about similar subjects/in similar ways (for instance, subjunctive with food/restaurant vocab, so that you can build sentences both with the new vocab and using the new verbal form in ways that make sense, i.e. "I'll have whatever she's having, If I were to order the pasta, I would get a salad too," "If I were richer, I would always order filet mignon" (side note subjunctive is very difficult for eng speakers so idk if these examples actually make sense 😭))

also busuu will repeatedly teach me something phrased one way or with a certain word and then mark me wrong and insist i use a completely different word/phrase. i cannot figure out why it keeps doing this it's very frustrating. and it has recently been teaching me some european portuguese which is not what the course is supposed to be so i'm just baffled by what's going on there.

another positive for busuu, at least in contrast to duolingo, is it teaches you the vocab and phrases before quizzing you on them, which duolingo does not do. this is like a positive and also an "eh, idk" because i get why duolingo does that-- it's trying to throw you into using surrounding context to figure out what a word means, and that's a very good way to practice, but i think it doesn't necessarily achieve it well and sometimes will just spring random words on you without enough context for you to know what it's referring to without just clicking on the word anyway.

also neither app are good at teaching you verb conjugation or tenses which is really unfortunate for spanish and portuguese in particular, as they're both languages where verbs are really really key AND where understanding tenses and their names are important, particularly for native eng speakers who never got taught tense names or like. any terminology for languages in english 🙃

also here is a thing i wrote up complaining about duolingo & verbs ages ago: Duolingo does not teach you things explicitly. It expects you to pick them up in a semi-immersive style, which works okay most of the time for most people but for many people makes actually learning and understanding parts of a language very difficult. For instance, it won't teach you the exact difference in usage between ser and estar, in Spanish or Portuguese. This difference is something I spent weeks on in Spanish class in high school and continued to review the rest of my time learning Spanish in an academic setting-- it is a key element of two of the most important words in the language. Duolingo also doesn't explain stem changes or irregular verbs and their typical endings-- it simply expects you to pick these up and memorize them through sentence usage. Basically it's very obvious Duolingo was created by english speakers who were never taught key elements of their own language (this is not a dig on their personal fault; i was also never taught any of this shit about english) and don't know how to go about teaching a language, and the limited format doesn't help.

third thing, finally getting to what you actually asked: there are a lot of resources for learning spanish online! i'm not as familiar with them as i'd like, as i learned spanish in an academic setting, but i'll do my best to list some things out and anyone else can feel free to add on. i've been meaning to make a language learning advice post for literally ages and i guess this is going to become it lmao.

here is a video explaining how to make duolingo work for you along with other resources: A Linguist explains how to make duolingo actually work (tl;dr pair duolingo with conversation partners, textbook work, listening to music, watching movies, etc. etc.)

i've tagged this with my language learning tag, which has a bunch of resources including some specifically for learning spanish.

tumblr user salvador bonaparte has a drive of free textbooks you can check out here, including a ton of spanish resources. i also recommend looking around the internet/specifically linguistics tumblr to find more resources as well as looking at used bookstores/amazon/etc. for spanish textbooks to use, as that will provide a more thorough foundation along with other programs/types of learning.

i've never used babbel or any other online program like it, but spanish tends to be one of the more resource-heavy languages because it's so widely spoken, so typically spanish programs on various apps/sites are REALLY thorough (duolingo's spanish program is by far their best course, with a ton more resources than most other programs. you can go up to the equivalent of at least c2 on there i believe, versus many other languages where they don't even list the CEFR levels)

finally, the not-so-online answer: if you're in college/have a nearby community/junior college, consider taking spanish classes there! this option probably costs the most out of any others, but i genuinely think an academic setting is the a great way to learn a language for many people. if you're not one of them, that is totally fine, but an actual spanish course at a college is likely to be the most thorough way to learn the language. also many CCs/JCs offer spanish classes online, so if you can't drive or for whatever reason can't go to in-person courses, you'll likely still have options.

this is everything i can think of right now but i also want to add once again that learning a language is difficult!!! i know that, and i know that i complain a lot about monolinguals, but i am specifically complaining about people who refuse to engage respectfully with languages that are not their own and dismiss anything they don't understand as being stupid/not worth their time/culturally worthless. i am not complaining about people like you, who are trying really hard to engage with non-english content AND are trying really hard to learn another language.

i also think learning languages is one of the most incredible experiences there are and that expanding the kinds of cultural and social boundaries that you engage with is a really important facet of humanity that i wish more people would participate in. i get riled up because this is something i'm really truly passionate about, not because i think anyone is stupid or whatever for not learning. i want people to just try it and give it a chance, even if it's hard for them, and i'm glad that you are trying, anon. <333

[nuggziwugsi]

(saw a moot do this and I wanted to give it a try)

(ALSO TAKE THIS SONG THAT REMINDS ME OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP)

Human! Shake x Nugz (self insert) headcannons

Shake:

Affection is somewhat impossible for him, but he fantasizes about it he finds it awkward to express it openly

Likes to mess with nugz, it's fun to see their reactions

Breaks into nugzes house very frequently setting off the alarm so much, that nugz just got rid of it.

Bro forgets nugz has a job and whines at their door believing they are ignoring him

Literally spends majority of his time at nugzes house even when they are not there and frylock has to drag his ass out

Shake does not really understand his feelings for them entirely, but he just enjoys being around them, that's what he tries to think it is at least (gay denial 😔✨)

Shake has cooked for them once, but it was merely a birthday present and he said he felt, "generous" he morely prefers nugzes cooking instead

Shake will show up at their work with no context and announce at the top of his lungs his status knowing nugz and want free food, as they are a chef at work.

He will make sure nugz pays attention to him or at least glances his direction

Steals their weed to get them out of their house

Nugz:

Very oblivious and even distant to any kind of affection, but sometimes they get lonely

Hates the fact shake messes with their shit

Has put locks on their house, but has not worked cause of shake, so they usually keep it unlocked.

Nugz gets phone calls from frylock at work often and it's shake stealing his phone to call them

They come home to see shake on their couch or in their kitchen and to be honest they do enjoy the company

They smoke weed together often and go out and become menaces to society sometimes

Nugz cooks often and they bring some of their food over to everyone, as they usually make an overly amount- so the aqua teens and Carl even enjoy the cooking.

Nugz hates it when shake shows up at their work, but they do give him discounts

Nugz at first hated shake, but the more they got to know him the more they actually do enjoy his crazy and weird ass company

Literally has to force him to shower a lot

Nugz has grown to have feelings for shake, but doesn't want to ruin what they have, so they would rather stay friends.

They make sure to defend meatwad against shake very often

(anyway hope you enjoy Im very normal as you can see)

[archivalofsins]

The Prisoners (All the characters who label themselves as prisoners in their "Thank You" messages.)

The People they're imprisoned with (All the characters who don't label themselves as prisoners in their "Thank You" messages)-

I highlighted where they say prisoners under the cut with a few more fun facts-

Haruka, Futa, Mu, and Kotoko all don't put their names on their thank you messages. Mu only puts her song title on hers in Japanese but she has English lyrics from the song highlighted on their as well. Shidou states that this is Milgram Season 2 before putting the title of his song/contribution then signing his full name like an actor would.

Something when coupled with Jackalopes statement in the second trial commencement notice-

Along with Shidou blatantly stating,

"Please listen to me, Es. I've killed people. Lots of them as well. It was for such a selfish reason too. I'm a fine specimen of what a genuine murderer ought to be."

It's really suspicious and funny to think of the implications behind how he signed his thank you message. Especially since in the same interrogation Es notes,

"In comparison to all the interrogations thus far, this one has been progressing far too smoothly. It feels somewhat unsettling."

All of that is a really interesting thing to think about when put all together. At least I think so.

(Star here though Gunsli assisted me with sorting this out some- I find the idea of Shidou being a mole very amusing. It would recontextualize the fact that he's a doctor within Milgram.

Giving the impression that Shidou's inclusion was more of a failsafe, in the event that something like Kotoko jumping her fellow prisoners occurred. It's incredibly convenient that Milgram happened to incarcerate not just one but two people who seem to understand first aid.

Considering Shidou's statements about Amane,

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: ……Kirisaki Shidou. How long do you plan on continuing this foolish behaviour?

Shidou: I wonder what you might be referring to there. I’m just doing what I need to do. If anything, I’d be happy if you would lend me a hand.

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand?

Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

This idea would also recontextualize his immediate response to the events between trial one and two being to tell Es,

"I think we should put an end to Milgram as a whole. Both for our sake and for yours."

Along with his confusion when Es responds with,

That's impossible.

"Why?!" I can't think of any method of stopping it... or any way to get out. "...!" Milgram won't end just because I want it to. That's all I know. It won't end until your judgment has been completed. That's the crux of it. "Your...the same as us, aren't you?"

Ultimately Shidou recognizes that Es is pretty much in the same position as they are. However, under this framing Shidou would be aware that Milgram is an experiment that can be stopped at any time but not aware of who could stop it or how to himself.

This would give more context to him proposition Es in trial one as well,

During the first trial's proposition being asking for the death sentence off the bat:

"That’s just my personality. I just simply don’t think bad of it—this place, I mean." You mean, Milgram? "Yeah, this place will put me to death." What? "I might not get a golden opportunity like this again, so I’ll get straight to the point. Es… You decide how the prisoners will be dealt with, right?" Yeah. That’s right. "The death penalty is what I’m hoping for. Thank you in advance." I won’t have that. The lot of you can’t decide what your own treatment will be. Only I as the prison guard have the authority to do so. "Exactly. You as the prison guard have the right to do such a thing, Es, so that’s why I’m asking you for this favour."

The "unflappable" attitude that Shidou has here can be read as opportunistic complacency with the idea of him being a mole in mind. This mindset is also alluded to within his MVs, a prime example being where he sits down smiling to himself in Throw Down.

Furthermore, this highlights the progression of his view of Es and how much power they wield within Milgram as a whole. Going from the first presumption of Es having the ability to decide the prisoners' treatment to outright asking them to stop Milgram in trial two. Though, he is swiftly corrected about how much administrative power Es has, as pointed out earlier.

On top of that Shidou is the first of the prisoners to bring up the concept of someone dying due to Milgram and the death penalty at all.

Even going as far as to state,

"Hm… But, this place does smell of the dead though. I’m sure that some sort of death will lie at the end of Milgram."

If Shidou is a mole put into the experiment by Milgram then him asking Es for this could be framed as him raising the stakes. It could even be something management told him to do so the audience would know there was a chance of their actions leading to someone's death. Along with why he's genuinely perturbed when someone else almost dies despite stating he knew some sort of death lied at the end of Milgram from the start.

It's definitely an odd change going from kill to we have to make this violence stop before someone actually dies. Yet, it would make a bit more sense if he thought he was in on the lie but began to find out this was more out of control then he thought. He could still very much be a murderer and they just let him be in on it because he wanted to die anyway so didn't see the harm in using him in this way before he does.

This would also play on this line in Undercover well,

"Even with accusations full of faults and mistakes. You will for sure, with a smile for sure- Be pleased and satisfied."

Because regardless of how this plays out he'd still get what he wanted at the end of the day.

Along with fit the line referring to Shidou too,

"“UNDER” Which way will you throw down your weight? To be the deceived, or the deceiver."

This would also explain why Kazui would refer to Milgram as a prison game in his second voice drama,

"If that happens this prison game would probably come to an end as well." - "So this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me?"

I asked @doctorbunny about Kazui's wording here and he said,

He says 監獄ごっこ kangoku gokko kangoku meaning prison and gokko meaning pretend/make believe

The one person known to talk to Shidou the most out of the prisoners and work alongside him. Now what would give him the impression this was all pretend.

Like some sort of a-

20/05/25

Mikoto: ……I’ve really got caught up in some trouble, huh. What even is this place? It’s probably a TV reality show or something. …but to think someone in this day and age would try to do a project that could land them in so much trouble. Uh……

Mahiru: Ah…… I’m Shina Mahiru! You can just call me Mahiru. And you are……?

Mikoto: Kayano Mikoto. I’m fine with just Mikoto too. Ahh, I’m glad there’s someone here who’s easy to talk to…… It’s nice to meet you, Mappy.

Mahiru: ………… ……Mappy???

20/05/31

Mu: Hey, Mikoto-kun, aren’t you scared of this place……? You can’t think of any reason you ended up here, right……?

Mikoto: Ahh, yeah. Of course, it’s not like I’m not scared at all. But just between you and me…… I still haven’t dropped the thought that this could all just be a TV show. I mean, I really haven’t ever murdered anyone. ……and if that is the case, we’re definitely being monitored. For like a prank setup or something. Wouldn’t it be super uncool and embarrassing to get angry or lash and have it shown on prime time?

Mu: Is that what you think……? A prank, huh…… I hope that’s all it is……

Mikoto: Ah! If that is the case, then you’ll probably be super popular since you’re so cute, Mucchan! There’s a lot of girls out there who make their big break coming off reality shows like that!

20/06/15

Mikoto: Hey, it’s kinda a bother having you be so angry and tense all the time. You should stop trying get everyone to pay attention to you. You’re a uni student, right? You can’t act like that once you start working properly.

Futa: Huh!? Shut up. Not like I care what you say. Even though we’re in this shitty situation, you’re just chatting away, it’s stupid. Aren’t you the one who’s acting out of place here? ……also the fact you give everyone nicknames is just gross.

Mikoto: *sigh* It’s more stupid to be taking this all so seriously. I mean, it’s definitely just a reality TV program. There’s no way a real prison exists that’s this lax. Also, I don’t give nicknames to everyone. I don’t give them to young kids like Amane, or to the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san. I mean, I’m not giving you one, right?

Futa: ……oi, which group are you trying to say I am?

Television show or something.)

This was definitely not supposed to be this long but it was interesting going over all of this with Star and I think it's a fun thing to highlight overall.

[thehuntfortrencherlostmedia]

Hello folks.

So, I waited a while to let everything marinate in my brain before writing this. Haven is an interesting album to discuss in the grand scheme of the Trench discography. Everything feels familiar & status quo, but different, new & exciting all at once. Its production is fantastic throughout and truly allows for everything to shine. It’s also their most cinematic album to date, which is saying something given what Astoria was inspired by.

So let’s break down each track, shall we?

A Normal Life: Already gushed about this one when it came out and my thoughts haven’t changed one bit. This just might be my new favourite opener. There’s just a little sprinkling of everything from all across their discography that allows this beauty to marinate and stand on its own.

Lightning & Thunder: I’m torn. I like it still, but I do think that when you listen to it within the context of the album it loses something. It was definitely made to be a radio single. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I’m Not Getting Better: Straight to the point, catchy & fun. I really have nothing else to say on the song.

Down To You: Arguably the biggest earworm on the album. This one gets in your head and it just stays with you.

Now or Never: The By Now of the record for me. Soft & yet full of momentum all at once. This is a dream worth fighting for, indeed. Also, while both INGB & DTY show off a more R&B/Funk flow, it really sticks on this song, and now that you’ve noticed it, you’ll be hearing it a lot throughout the record.

Into The Storm: Hello, Porcelain. But also… it’s own thing. It might not be giving up, but I don’t see it as surrender either. I see it as going with the flow, facing your problems head on. This is also the first true dive into Josh’s relationship with Amanda on the album, and how he’s so happy they finally figured out how to co-exist.

Ancient History: Oh hi, Astoria. You mind if I take elements of Burning Up & Yesterday and blend them into something new? And how about the past arguments in his and Amanda’s relationship don’t matter, and how it was nice to meet back up with her. It shows how time can heal relationships. Also, SAXOPHONE. That is all.

Stand and Fight: The actual Porcelain of the record. People thought they were gonna go in a This Meets War for this song, when instead it’s a slow burn that truly stays with you.

Turn & Run: Here’s how you do a sequel song and then make it stand out from its older brother. Much like the combos of Celebrity Status/Perfect & B-Team/Toy Soldiers, both sides of the coin make me giddy inside. And holy cow… welcome to the edge indeed. That hint of Fix Me screaming… I need more of it Josh. Please? I’ll be a good girl. There’s also a lot of Masterpiece Theatre II on this one. Easily my favourite of the short songs.

Worlds Collide: I go back and forth on this one in my head. There’s parts of me that love it, there’s parts of me that feels it’s too similar to the two tracks before it…. And then we have the end. And that just… made me smile. Also, I love Josh SCREAMING “Nobody’s Safe” and the fact they left in the vocal crack. That’s how you can tell his emotions are in full display here. So yeah.

Nights Like These: The comforting palette cleanser after three songs hit you with whiplash back to back to back. It’s very reminiscent of tavern songs, sea shanty’s & is just a warm hug of a track. Also, breaking down the fact that sometimes it’s nice to have just a cozy, relaxing night with friends. Feels like the Who Do You Love of the record too.

Remember Me By: Um, Micheal? Did you just possess Josh again? This feels so 80’s R&B I can’t help but love it. Also, Ian! Nice to hear you sing, bud. We’ve heard the other three all throughout this record and now we get your voice on top of the amazing percussion. Kudos.

Haven: So, here we are. The closing track. And, it’s good. It feels like they took The Killing Kind , Masterpiece Theatre III & End of An Era Abd threw them in a blender… and the result came out great, but… it does lack something to me? And if anything, it brings out the fact this album fits into the Relationship Theory too: It is about starting anew like I said ages ago but also about how their relationship (Josh & Amanda) isn’t perfect but he loves the imperfection now that they’ve figured out how to make it work. She might’ve broke his heart once but he reconciled & became stronger because of it. And now he can show that all across these 13 tracks.

So yeah. Haven’s likely my album of the year, and I do like it. But I do think that while it has some of the highest highs the band had ever reached, I do think they didn’t fully nail the Hero’s Journey theming & that it’s not as cohesive as some of their other work. It’s a sturdy S-, easily #2 or #3 in my overall rankings, even #1 depending on the day.

[bamjammy]

My Billford friends. I present you: Will Wood. This is song is them. Not up for debate, thanks and I’m correct. Analysis below. Also TBOB spoilers probably

This is a lyric by lyric analysis about why this song is them. Most of (if not all of the song) is Bill’s perspective in my mind, Will Wood definitely captures his weird chaotic energy. Not every lyric matches. That’s ok, I’m just gonna skip those. The song is still them. Lyrics will be in quotes, analysis will be in parentheses and also a different color.

“Why do you wanna kill me?”

(I also hear this as “what are gonna do, kill me?” sometimes cause it’s a little hard to understand him. I feel like both fit a bitter/cocky Bill talking to Ford in the pyramid)

“Say you're still her, the woman you were, and you haven't turned into someone who never could love me again”

(Ok obviously Ford is not a woman, we can just ignore that part. The point of the lyric is the narrator, in this case Bill, wanting reassurance that he is still loved, I feel like this would be more subconscious on Bill’s part, but that denial is absolutely palpable during weirdmaggedon/TBOB)

“'Cause you never broke my heart, no, you fixed it, and now it works, but only enough just to suffer that hurt. Whoa-oh-oh-oh”

(Ok I fucking love this line especially in this context. This is literally their entire dynamic like, c’mon. Bill, up to the point of meeting Ford, had been manipulating people all throughout human history. It really feels like Ford is the first one he got so deeply attached too, so much so that he would want to convince him to join him in ruling over everything as an agent of chaos. Ford was captivated by Bill the moment he met him, believing him to be a higher power capable of provisioning him with what he needs. As their relationship progresses they sort of have a reversal of roles, Ford comes to despise Bill and fear him, Bill comes to be obsessed with Ford. He NEEDS him. God I love this line)

“What can I say to convince you to slip back into my arms again? I won't do you no harm again. Let me tell you that I'm sorry and that-”

(I don’t think Bill would ever say sorry out loud unless it was specifically to be manipulative, but after reading TBOB there is clear regret at losing Ford. Even if it’s not remorse you can tell he wishes he’d gone about things differently even though he refuses to admit it. Also the “slip back into my arms again” thing, again I associate with him trying to convince Ford to join him in weirdmaggedon.)

“I'm just a little bit crazy about you, Just a little bit out of my mind, Just a little insane without you”

(Bill’s always been a little insane by nature of who he is, but he goes to such extremes to get Ford to stay with him (see TBOB missing journal pages) and then STILL tries to convince him during weirdmaggedon after he’d already been rejected and despised. He makes him CRAZY. It’s kind of sad)

“Please come back and be just a little bit mine- Just a little bit mine”

(He wants him back soooooo bad it’s really just pathetic at this point)

“I never thought, and if I did, I forgot while blacked out in love”

(I don’t think Bill thinks through much of what he does to Ford in those desperate moments if at all. They’re just that- desperate. Can also be interrupted as Bill possessing Ford, when he “blacks out” and finds himself harmed or in danger, he obviously can’t remember those moments when Bill takes over. Bill interrupts this as “blacked out in love” either to justify it to himself or to convince himself Ford still loved him. I think that’s a fun interpretation)

“That what's only starting would've come to an end but now, I'm hungover and hung out to dry, and I'm giving it time”

(Time passes faster for Bill, it should feel like a blip in his life but it consumes him. The “hungover” part, see TBOB “Losing Sixer”. It’s the best page)

“Does not knowing the truth turn my words into lies? Whoa-oh-oh-oh”

(I could see him absolutely trying to play dumb in last ditch attempt to get Ford to trust him again. Fucking loser lmao)

“What can I say to convince you or do to make you agree with me?”

(Again, desperate. See all my previous allusions to the weirdmaggedon scene)

“I don't need you to be with me, Just try to remember what you'd see in me”

(I feel like this line could be a breaking point for Bill, where he’s desperately grasping at anything to make Ford continue his work, including harming, threatening him, etc. I know a lot of these lines have come back to the same thing but it’s just. The vibes, y’know? I feel like this is specifically the part where Bill tries to call Stan, which scares Ford into actually reaching out to him, Bill inadvertently causing his own demise. That’s from TBOB btw. I warned you about spoilers)

(Cut the chorus since I already analyzed it)

“I'll be here singing 'til our heartbeats might slip back into that rhythm again”

(Bill waiting for the right moment to strike. The moment Ford steps out of the portal Bill sees an opportunity, he’s done biding his time. You feel me?)

“Whether it is or isn't the end, Who cares? God knows that I could use a friend!”

(Bill is living in so much denial it’s suffocating. I mean, it’s not even just Ford, it’s his whole life. He’s in denial about how people in his home dimension treated him, he’s in denial about the fact that he’s not all powerful, he’s in denial about how similar he is to humans, and he’s in denial about Ford not loving him (and also in denial about Loving Ford). There is no end because he refuses to accept it, but then tries to brush it off like he doesn’t care, because he’s in denial about caring. My boy, YIKES!!!)

Cut the rest of the song cause it’s just the chorus again but longer. Anyway yeah the point of this is Bill is a desperate freaky ex with weirdo Will Wood energy, Will Wood’s music is good and I love it and you should listen to him if you haven’t, and I’m not normal about them and their weird fucking dynamic. Enjoy and eat well my strange creatures

[dracoxmalereader]

Clock Tower

Draco x Male Reader

Context: Can be read as any house reader but I did write it with my main Hufflepuff!Reader in mind. Takes place during half blood prince before most of the main plot but post Draco being made a death eater.

Summary: Draco didn't show up to charms, and ever the worried boyfriend you are, you've gone looking for him. After an exhausting search around the castle, you finally find him in the clocktower. What a wonderful opportunity to get emotional. <3

Word Count: 1290

A breeze whirls through the air and warm leaves dust the sky. The sound of rustling trees echoes distantly, few clouds marring the evenly blue sky. Wings flap, and birds chirp and sing their fresh autumn songs to fill the silence brought on by class time. 

Your shoes crunch against wet, grassy stones. You breathe in the smell of the clayish mud that paves the floor of the clocktower courtyard, hearing the low and steady swing of the pendulum inside. It’s hard to see in with the shadow cast over the archway, but blonde hair sticks out against the dim walls and floor and you quicken your pace. 

“Draco?”

His head turns to you. He’s sat on the floor, knees tucked to his chest with one arm wrapped around them, another splayed out on the ground to balance himself. It makes him look incredibly small. 

His eyes meet yours as you step into the room with him. 

“What are you doing here?” His eyebrows are drawn tight, his voice coming out uncharacteristically weak. 

You approach and sit beside him, legs crossed. “You weren’t in charms.” 

There was so much you wanted to talk about. Unsure of what to say, you reach a hand up to smooth down a strand of hair that had broken free from the formal do he’d gelled it into. 

“I like what you’ve been doing with your hair these days.” You spoke, looking over him with fondness.

He stares at you silently. His face, paler by the day, holds a weight of stress. Lines etched deeply behind either side of his nose, and he’d been walking the halls with his worried expression long enough you weren’t sure if the wrinkles on his forehead were intentional or not. 

Sighing, you resign yourself to honesty. “I’m worried about you.”

His brows draw ever tighter and he wrenches his gaze away from you, watching the shadow of the passing pendulum. “All will be well.” The way he says it makes you wonder who he’s trying to convince.

You inch your hand closer to his and run your pinkie finger along the side of his hand before hooking it under his. He takes a breath and swallows audibly, making an effort to further avoid your watchful eyes. He turns his focus to an empty flower pot in the corner farthest from you. 

His resolve bleeds, and he breathes from his nose, not ready to let it break. His pinkie finger twitches and curls tighter around yours.

“Doesn’t it remind you of the O.W.L.s last year?” You prompt, partly out of nostalgia and partly just to get him talking. “The pendulum.”

“Yeah.” His lips purse, something akin to a smile, though the corners of his mouth remain downturned. “It was fun while it lasted, wasn’t it? Those weasel-bees little light show?”

You chuckle. “Yeah. It was.” You scooch yourself closer to him, unlatching your pinkies in favor of draping your palm over the top of his hand.

“Until it was over, at least.” 

You could feel his knuckles trembling ever so slightly, and wished he'd been around enough for you to know when they’d started doing that. 

“I studied so hard for that test.” He sighs, his chest visibly deflating. He curls in on himself, running the hand not blanketed by yours over his hair. "It felt like the end of the world."

There’s an air of longing to his tone. You tighten your fingers, slipping the tips between the side of his palm and the ground. You knock your shoulder against his. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

His eyes finally flicker to yours. His gray irises are dim, lacking the childish glint he’d evidently lost over the summer. You watch his face morph, frown deepening. The wrinkles on his forehead spread. 

“Draco…” You trail on.

He takes a sharp breath. “Don’t-” His words come out choked, forced through the back of his throat like he almost doesn’t want to say them. “There’s… just a lot going on.” He focuses his attention on the floor again.

You nod, and you can see his gaze linger over your connected hands.

“I have to do a lot of things I don’t want to do, now.” He says it like he’s chasing it down. “And it’s changed a lot about how I see the world.” He swallows, and you can hear how his lungs tighten as he speaks. “How I see you…”

His fingers ball up, lifting from the floor and wrapping awkwardly around the tops of yours. You lean your head on his shoulder to show him you’re still listening. 

His free hand roughly bunches up the fabric of his dress pants, forearm quaking like it aches. “I haven’t been around a lot this year. Or last year. I’m sorry.” His voice quivers, a desperate lilt coating it like the spit you hear collecting in his mouth. 

There’s a deeper layer to his words that you can’t quite place. You raise your head to see him blinking away tears.

“It’s okay.” You reassure him. “It’s fine, and-” Your hand leaves his to travel up his arm, squeezing the space under his shoulder so you can feel the muscles tense. “Whatever it is that you’re having to do, I’m here for you, okay?”

His eyes meet yours again and he nods. He sniffles once, then, “Thank you.” His fingers drum against the floor. “I think you might be the only one.”

You rub your thumb back and forth over his arm and feel when the trembling in his knuckles rumbles through the rest of him. He clears his throat to shake it off and pushes himself up all at once, turning away from you again. 

“We should get to class.” He rolls his shoulders and stretches his head to the side, fruitlessly as he remains tense. He holds himself with an ill-fitting urgency. “Charms will be over by the time we get back.”

“Draco-” You try to keep his attention. You stand up as he’s swatting the dirt off the back of his pants, and he brushes you off again.

“It’s best we hurry. If Flitwick sees us after we both ditched he’ll have our heads-”

“Draco!” You cut him off, brows tilted inward only for a moment. You take a step closer to him and grab his face in both of your hands. He's still and quiet, looking almost fearfully so. You sigh. Leaning forward, you close your eyes and press a firm kiss to his mouth.

You pull away and his face, still sunken and pale with exhaustion, has reddened. The stress ebbs from it, and you watch his eyebrows relax just a little. He takes a deep breath. 

Hands still on his face, you hold eye contact. “Thank you for telling me.”

His mouth pulls inward. He looks you up and down, gaze catching on your lips before coming back up to your pupils. His stubborn, tired eyes swim with vulnerability and your heart swells with affection. You grin at him.

“Let’s walk together, hm?”

He nods, and for the first time in weeks you see a small but genuine smile tug at his lips. “You’re such a sap.” The lighthearted jab feels like the calm after a storm. The wind turns just right and a gust of cool air washes through the tower. The strand of hair you'd smoothed down blows loose again, fluttering.

Your thumbs indulgently trace the skin of his jaw a few times before you let your hands fall, brushing your shoulders and lacing your pinkie fingers together again. Wings flap, and birds sing in the distance as the two of you start out of the clocktower and through the courtyard.

I really try to like Harry x Reader content and just Harry in general but Daniel Radcliffe looks so much like my ex in the movies that I'm immediately put off. It's so uncanny I honestly barely survived the movies to begin with. He looks JUST like him it's terrifying. RIP what I could've had with Harry if they didn't cast Daniel Radcliffe. Timbers shivered.

Draco is more than enough for me anyways. <3 How wonderful he is. <3 If he's OOC in this it's because I forgot to go to bed last night and have been awake since the dawn of time. Creative liberties.

Trying to tag everyone this time because tumblr magically made the tag work under Express so I'm hoping it'll do that here too. OOoOoOoOooOo tumblr you want to tag properly soOOoOoOOo bad

Tags: @nowayisthistakenyet @gayaristocrat @dracoshusband @siuspider @skrunklespoingo @esperfraud @joongbin @midwestemosblog @we2222