#the full version of this is very not safe for tumblr lmao

[dmbakura]

vampire V hehehe

[dashiellqvverty]

i keep thinking about how like if i were 10ish years younger and figuring out my gender shit in this current climate i genuinely might not have allowed myself to come to the same conclusions i did as a teenager. like so much of my transness is about choosing to be this way because it feels right and makes me happy, and i had a community both online and to some degree in person that affirmed that, and its not that that community isnt still around but i just dont know if it wouldve felt worth it. like i want to be an obviously and visibly queer gnc transfag i LOVE that about myself but its a journey i started when i was 15 and if i had to start that journey NOW i think it would be a lot fucking scarier. and of course thats the whole point, to scare people away from every coming out or even fully considering the possibility of being trans

[wovenstarlight]

I got an interesting anonymous ask on the SFS Tumblr asking about the reasoning behind a bunch of Yoohyun's decisions that had… less-than-stellar outcomes, let's say? (LMAO.) and I'd like to keep the TL blog clean so I'm answering Anon here. I'm gonna post their ask in full for reference, because the answers to each individual question overlap:

Hi, thank you very much for your time, energy and effort. What you are doing is really amazing and admirable. I know you are busy enough and I shouldn't trouble you, but after reading the manhwa, I had questions about Yoohyun's logic and sentiment, and I became more confused after reading the novel and I don't know who to ask. Please ignore my message if it's to much trouble. 1: Why doesn't Yoohyun spend the last years of his life on earth peacefully with Yoojin, even though he knows that the world will end soon? 2: What did Yoohyun accomplish by leaving and humiliating Yoojin that he was persistent to do it for so many years? 3: Why instead of using his forces and technologies to protect Yoojin, he announces to the world that it is open season on him and he is worthless? (Normaly no one dares to harm the family of an S class but Yoohyun expose Yoojin to danger by abandoning him.) 4: Why does Yoohyun stop protecting Yoojin when the most dangerous part of Yoojin's life as an F class hunter begins? (Using his influence he could easily ban Yoojin from entering dungeons. Or he could have secretly formed a group of the most powerful hunters to go with Yoojin to dungeons. This way he could have provided him with everything he needed and keep him safe. That is, if he had any intention of protecting him.) 5: Why would Yoohyun gain all that resources, power, wealth and connections and he sit around and does nothing so that Yoojin would face death every day and rot in the basement? He gain all that for what, if not for protecting Yoojin? 6: Why doesn't he ever change his procedure or provide new options for Yoojin to stop going to dungeons? (Yoojin has no chance for a peaceful life due to not having a degree and being a notorious person. And he doesn't know about that cult.) Yoojin got to see his 30 years old birthday cause the cult didn't feel like killing him and he took care of himself in dungeons and was lucky that only his legs broke. So why would Yoohyun identify as a doting brother? The more I think about it the less I understand.

(crossposted on AO3, if you'd prefer to read there)

Okay, so, I'm really prone to rambling at length and this is a subject I have strong feelings on, so I'll give you a very short version of my answer in bullet points, and then a longer version with proper chapter-specific references and full explanations of what I think was going on.

Yoohyun wants to repay Yoojin for all the care and love he's given him, but as a 17-year-old, he doesn't have much social power

Yoohyun's Awakening puts himself and anyone he loves (i.e. Yoojin) in a dangerous position, because while he has individual physical power as an S-rank, he still lacks social power and also can't singlehandedly protect Yoojin 24/7

Yoohyun, in all his rash 17-year-old glory, takes the drastic action of cutting off Yoojin, planning to build up enough power to protect Yoojin and then reunite with him. Yoojin, as just your ordinary everyday 22-year-old, faces no risks other than people targeting him in order to hurt Yoohyun (I don't agree that no one would dare to harm the family of an S-rank, for reasons I'll elaborate on later in the long answer), so if Yoohyun's not close to Yoojin, then that cuts it down to "no risks at all", right…? So tell the media, tell the world, that no, Han Yoohyun doesn't give a shit about Han Yoojin. Yoohyun assumes he'll be able to explain it all to Yoojin one day and that he'll understand. (This should answer your Question 2 and Q3.)

But it doesn't work out as expected. Yoohyun thought it'd take much less time to establish his position than it does in reality (the assumed 4-ish years ended up as 6+ years). Also, Yoojin's gone from trying to make up with Yoohyun in a way that'll let them be together again (not going to happen, because Yoohyun's still not ready to bring Yoojin back into the fold) to being in his own terrible situation, so he's started lashing out at Yoohyun. So even if Yoohyun was in a stable enough situation to try reconciling with him, Yoojin might not be open to it by this point

Somewhere along the way, Yoohyun learns from the filial duty addict Diarma the world is going to end. He doesn't drop everything and go to live with Yoojin because even now, there's still the concern that maybe Yoohyun won't be able to protect Yoojin from everything, and maybe Yoojin doesn't want Yoohyun around, anyway. There's no use in going to live with Yoojin if it'll just end up getting Yoojin killed through Yoohyun's inaction (Q1).

So Yoohyun keeps maintaining his guild and his power so he can keep protecting Yoojin from what he thinks are the Real Threats. (Because the worlds of low- and high-rank Hunters are VERY different. Yoohyun probably assumes that because Yoojin's not facing the high-rank Hunter dangers, he's facing no dangers—a stupid but understandable mistake, given that Yoojin also assumed the exact same thing in reverse about Yoohyun! It sucks, it really does, but I really do think Yoohyun just… didn't realize just how bad it was.) (Q5) And the world can end whenever it wants; if there's no challenging it, then at least Yoohyun's kept Yoojin safe in the meantime.

And the one danger they have in common, dungeons—you suggest Yoohyun banning Yoojin from entering any, but Yoohyun's cut himself off from Yoojin entirely, remember. Trying to interfere in his life would be met with (a) STRONG rejection by a deeply hurt Yoojin who doesn't understand why Yoohyun thinks he has any say in Yoojin's life anymore, and (b) interest by Yoohyun's rivals, who'd wonder why he's trying to keep his hyung away from dangers when he says he doesn't care about that hyung's wellbeing, putting Yoojin right back in their crosshairs. (Q4)

Also, the immoral people have been killing Caregivers of S-ranks. Diarma might have told Yoohyun about this. If he did, then Yoohyun's goals would definitely have gone from "stay strong and one day reconcile with hyung" to "NEVER get close to hyung, because there are beings outside this world, much more powerful than anything I can match in a reasonable timespan, who will 100% kill him". At which point, even if Yoohyun had wanted to reconcile with him, or compromise by just adjusting his plan and talking to Yoojin a little more, or literally anything past making a show of total and complete indifference, he couldn't have without knowingly risking Yoojin's life. (Q6)

You and I and all the other S-Ranks readers, removed from this situation as we are, can think of half a dozen ways Yoohyun could probably have gotten around things. But the simple fact is that in that situation, under that much pressure, with that much emotional attachment to his brother and literally everything that mattered to him at stake if he fucked up in the tiniest of ways—forget making perfect decisions, there was absolutely no way Yoohyun was going to do anything other than what seemed least risky. Because to do otherwise would be risking Yoojin’s life and therefore his own. And the choices you’ve already mades, the path you’re already on—no matter how bad it is for you, no matter how bad it is for the people you love, no matter how much it hurts—will always, always be less risky than the unknown path, because at least this way, you know what dangers to expect and brace for. At the core of the matter, it’s just that… the path that was best for Yoojin's happiness wasn't the path that was best for Yoojin's life expectancy, you see? And Yoojin can't be happy if he's dead. Yoohyun can't be alive if Yoojin's dead. That's all it came down to.

……oh my god that was so long actually. And that was supposed to be the TL;DR. The long version is going to be SO long. I hope you like reading 50-page passionate essays. There's a poll at the end, you can look forward to that!!!

(Also, okay, before we jump into the Deep End. Two disclaimers.

Anon, you said you read the manhwa and novel, but I read only the novel, so some of my chapter references might be unfamiliar. I know they shuffled events around a little in the webtoon, too, so I'll try and describe the general events so you can find any webtoon parallels.

Yoojin's a REALLY unreliable narrator and definitely doesn't know a lot of what Yoohyun's gone through. Part of that is because there's things he has no way to pick up on or deduce; part of that is because he wants to not think about Yoohyun going through bad shit; part of that is because Yoohyun doesn't want Yoojin worrying about him and has actively hidden the worse parts of his life from him. So a fair part of what I'm talking about is going to be reading between the lines and extrapolating.

Okay, disclaimers done!) Now on to the long version with references. Let's go point-by-point based on the TL;DR.

#1: Yoohyun wanting to repay Yoojin

I mean, the skill's called Last/Final Repayment! Isn't that enough? Where did you think that came from? There certainly wasn't anything Yoojin wanted to repay Yoohyun for.

Okay, no, more seriously. Yoohyun and Yoojin have grown up with only each other to depend on. Yoohyun has watched Yoojin take care of him alone their whole lives, with no outside support, keeping a roof over their head and their stomachs filled. For Yoohyun's sake, Yoojin has given up:

A complete education, with Yoojin having "dropped out of school to take care of his little brother", as mentioned in chapter 1.

A proper social life. In chapter 25, Yoojin says his friends in his early 20s were "middle-aged factory workers" instead of people his own age.

Hobbies. He says to Yerim and Myeongwoo in chapter 45 that one of his "few hobbies" is taking spam calls, but his character profile from the E-books volume 1 confirms it's his only hobby, and one that's now fading… which leaves him with zero personal interests. (The spam calling thing is almost certainly something that sprouted from loneliness in the years that the brothers were separated, by the way. After all, why would Yoojin waste time listening to some stranger on the phone talk to him about something he doesn’t care about? Most likely because there isn’t—wasn’t—really anyone else who’s willing to talk to him, anymore.)

The sole birthday present of "a 10,000 won bill to buy something tasty to have with his friends" he got from their parents, which "would be used for Han Yoohyun’s birthday. As [it was] every year", as mentioned in chapter 239, during Yoohyun’s flashback to childhood.

And Yoohyun, a helpless child, could only watch as Yoojin gave up all of that, to no real benefit of his own, just to focus all his attention and resources on supporting Yoohyun.

By the time he was in middle school, Yoohyun was already talking about becoming a doctor since it'd be "advantageous in a lot of aspects"; he says he "just wanted to make it so you [Yoojin] could live comfortably" (chapter 258). Yoojin wouldn't have to be the sole earner, and would've been able to pursue his own happiness as well as Yoohyun's. Yoohyun wants very badly for Yoojin to not have to worry about him anymore. It makes sense that that sentiment would remain even after he Awakened.

#2: Yoohyun's Awakening

And boy what an Awakening it was! Straight from a random orphaned kid with zero social life and decent grades to one of the world's most desirable and dangerous individuals, basically overnight. He has none of the social sway that the rich and well-connected Sung Hyunjae or the professional athletes Moon Hyuna and Choi Sukwon do, and he refuses to get the help of big corporations like Choi Sukwon and Bak Mingyu (and Yoon Kyeongsoo? I forget if Soodam was also a corp-backed guild). So he's got no power, but he's also declared his intent to create a guild, and that combined with his nature as a born S-rank makes people perceive him as a threat. Maybe not so much in the early days, when people think he's just an arrogant, stupid kid who's going to crash and burn, but definitely more so as time passed, which Sung Hyunjae confirms in chapter 152:

“Wasn’t [Han Yoohyun] at the age where one faces a lot of problems, starting out living alone?” […] “He wasn’t even alone, strictly speaking. I heard Team Head Seok and the others joined Haeyeon early on.” I heard that Seok Simyeong had visited Yoohyun-ie even before Haeyeon was founded. He was still annoying, but I had to give him his share of the credit for Haeyeon. Sung Hyunjae gave a small nod at my words. “Even so, it isn’t easy for a latecomer to find his place.” “That’s… You’re right.” “For the first year or so, it was easier. Since most of them said Haeyeon wouldn’t be able to properly establish itself.” Sung Hyunjae also said he hadn’t been interested in Haeyeon—in Yoohyun-ie—at the time, either. “The problem arose when it started to become a major guild.”

The second the initial "LOL, this has got to be a joke, right?" blinders come off, he's at risk. And he would've known that this would happen right from the start—Yoohyun's smart enough that he would've understood the lack of attacks was just because they didn't see him as a real threat yet.

So, again: a latecomer on the scene with no power and no experience to his name, and seen as a threat to deal with. No social connections means he has no one to rely on to help him with Yoojin's protection: it's up to him alone. And even S-ranks have to eat and sleep and use the bathroom and do half a dozen other things that would pull him away from Yoojin's side, not to mention the all-important requirement of raiding dungeons, which Yoohyun himself admits in chapter 71 was one of his main concerns:

“Once I start a raid on an S-rank dungeon, I’ll be gone for a week […]. Me… avoiding you… was also largely due to the S-rank dungeon raid time. Since, obviously, I can’t look after you once I go into the dungeon.”

So Yoohyun himself can't just stay by Yoojin's side as his bodyguard 24/7. He'd have to leave him unattended for, at minimum, whole weeks. Which means he doesn't have a reliable, sure way to keep his hyung safe.

#3: Cutting off Yoojin, and the risks to an S-rank's family

And that's not even mentioning his own safety. What happens when Yoohyun's hurt and can't help with guarding Yoojin? And he will be hurt, either by dungeon raids or other people. If you don't think that second one is a concern, as early as chapter 6, when Yoojin and Yoohyun are having their first meal together, Yoojin asks about Yoohyun's ability to cook, and he says he taught himself:

“I’ve got items for detoxification and de-cursing, now, but I didn’t have them before. So making my own food felt safer. Even now, when I enter dungeons, I bring dried rations I made myself. Since it’s most dangerous inside dungeons.” “…Detoxification? De-cursing?” What was I hearing right now? As in, there were bastards who’d poison and curse his food, so he had to make it himself… that sort of thing?

Yoohyun himself, a strong, healthy S-rank with a good constitution and one hell of a temper, was at risk of being poisoned and cursed through something as everyday as food. You said that normally, no one would dare attack the family of an S-rank—but if people are willing to attack the S-rank himself, knowing that he'll kill them for sure if it fails and he learns they're behind it, then what's stopping them from attacking the S-rank's family?

There's two points you could argue:

Yoohyun says in the chapter 6 conversation that "It’s a major crime for an Awakened person to target an Unawakened person, so I made them think it wasn’t worth it to risk going after you." But that'd only last for the 3 years up until Yoojin Awakened, and honestly, there's a real risk that anyone targeting Yoojin before that time would just be rich or socially connected enough that they could make the charges go away.

The other argument that if they attack an S-rank's beloved family and that fails, now the S-rank is coming after them with a vengeance, and he's not even suffering from the aftermath of poisoning or a curse to weaken him in the slightest, so that might scare them off. But, like… people do stupid things when they're desperate. In that kidnapping where Yoojin met the Krecke Blackie (chapters 46–49), sure, Yoojin had his own special skills that made him valuable, but he also had five major guilds and the Association all dedicated to his protection. That's several times the protection a single S-rank could offer, and some idiots who weren't even in a desperate situation still tried to go after him for benefits similar to what you'd get from having leverage over an S-rank. So I really don't think anything would stop people from threatening Yoojin. If anything, the combined facts of Yoohyun starting out from a weak position, Yoohyun obviously caring about Yoojin, and Yoojin being so much weaker than Yoohyun would make that the best option by far, if you wanted to hurt Yoohyun. After all, it’s not like Unawakened F-rank Yoojin can fight back himself, and again, Yoohyun isn’t going to fight you if it would risk Yoojin’s life.

So, Yoohyun goes "if I distance myself from hyung and make people think it WON'T hurt me for him to be hurt, then people have no reason to target him!" and follows through. I do think this was a stupid move on his part, even if he intended to explain it all to Yoojin eventually, because by not letting him in on the secret right from the start, he guaranteed that Yoojin would be hurt and upset by his sole remaining family member seemingly abandoning him for better prospects. Which leads Yoojin to start making his own stupid moves, which snowballs into a series of bad decisions on both their parts, and so on… but we'll get to that in a minute. The problem, I think, is that this plan could've worked, if only Yoohyun had told Yoojin at the start, so that Yoojin knew not to draw attention to himself. Maybe they could've done regular calls on burner phones or something, to stay in touch, and they'd have been happier that way.

Unfortunately that didn't happen. Why? Because, as Yoohyun states in that same conversation in chapter 6, he "didn’t want to burden" Yoojin. Yoohyun's desire to protect Yoojin is not just physical, but also mental/emotional—he doesn't want Yoojin to know that Yoohyun's going through all this trouble of leaving home and dealing with threats to his life and making big decisions, because he doesn't want Yoojin to worry.

[EDIT: And actually, thinking back over this, do you realize—Yoojin always talks about how Yoohyun was a delight of a child to raise, never complaining, never throwing tantrums, wonderfully behaved and always doing as he was told. Enough so that Moon Hyuna has to tell him, explicitly, in Chapter 43, that that’s not normal, in those exact words:

“He was a good younger brother who never needed to be scolded. Ever since he was little, he listened well and didn’t worry me…….” “You said you were the one to raise him, right? After you lost your parents early. That’s not normal.” She clicked her tongue and continued. “A good, obedient little brother from a poor family without parents. That sort of thing doesn’t even appear in children’s fairy tales these days. Because it’s not realistic.” “I mean, to go that far—” “Kids are kids. They get frustrated and angry if there’s something lacking, they make trouble to get attention, they compare themselves with others, and beyond begging their parents to buy them something they want, they might even resent them. Parents might still think their kids are cute, but brothers? To them, they’re just enemy bastards; I also have a younger sibling, so I know. Of course, there are brothers and sisters who get along. In peaceful households where their parents take good care of them. Even then, it’s not like they never fight. Younger brothers in particular are a type that need to be put in their place; older siblings the world across would probably agree.”

This suggests that Yoohyun and Yoojin have never, ever, EVER experienced conflict on major life decisions. Not once have they argued about Yoohyun making choices that Yoojin wouldn’t like. Which means Yoohyun approached cutting off Yoojin with a very particular mindset, and I have some guesses as to what exactly that mindset was. Do you think he hoped Yoojin would understand that his perennially well-behaved brother would have some reason for leaving home? Do you think he just… didn’t know how to approach telling Yoojin about his choice, knowing it’d upset him so much, so he simply didn’t and hoped for the best? Or was it something else entirely?

Either way: Yoohyun absolutely did not know what would come of this choice. He definitely did not expect just how hard it would be on Yoojin. At the time, he was probably just wanting to spare Yoojin the heartache of their first major argument about Yoohyun’s life choices.] And it's that very desire to not bother him with the knowledge of how much Yoohyun's suffering that eventually makes things go wrong and both of them suffer for it.

#4: Yoohyun's strategy failing

What do we know about Yoohyun's plan going wrong? We know that Yoohyun intended to wipe out his enemies before even thinking about allowing Yoojin into danger. In that conversation in chapter 6, he tells Yoojin to wait "just 1 year" and to basically live in confinement, locked up safe inside Haeyeon, until Yoohyun's done. Combined with the 3 years since the dungeons appearing and Yoohyun Awakening, that means he thought it'd take maybe 4 years in total, with hurrying at the end to accommodate Yoojin already being involved with him again. Yoojin says in narration that pre-regression, it took him 3 years instead of the 1 he's proposing, which puts us at a total of 6 years minimum before Yoohyun could even think about reuniting with Yoojin.

But, of course, a lot can and did happen in those 6 years. Within the first 3, the brothers' relationship had deteriorated enough that Yoojin blocked Yoohyun's number, as mentioned in chapter 32 by Yoohyun to Yoojin during novice Hunter training:

“You got angry and told me not to call, remember? You even blocked my number.”

Why was Yoojin angry? See chapter 158, when Yoohyun was temporarily amnesiac due to Jellyfish's fog:

“I’m certain I told you not to come near me.” …I remembered. When I’d heard that, I’d blocked Yoohyun’s number, telling him not to call me back.

Yoohyun's repeated refusal to tell Yoojin about his plans, just telling him they had to stay apart, only worsened their relationship. And while Yoohyun did attempt to reach out and help Yoojin in ways such as sending him money to cover living expenses (probably hoping to repair their rapidly deteriorating relationship), that also made it worse, with Yoojin rejecting all of those attempts. As he explains in chapter 274, during the flashbacks induced by Jellyfish in their fight:

Gritting my teeth, I sent back the money Yoohyun-ie sent me without even laying a finger on it. To the me of that time, it was horrible money that my young brother had as good as traded his life for. Yoohyun-ie wanted me to accept living expenses and stay safe, but I believed my brother was being sent to his own death and could never accept it.

It isn't like Yoohyun didn't try to reach out. He did. The problem was that all of his attempts were undercut by his continued refusal to tell Yoojin why he had distanced himself, such that all those attempts at staying in touch only rubbed salt in the wound of being abandoned. And as early as 3 years in, by his own admission in chapter 6, Yoohyun starts to think that things have gotten so bad that even if he tries to confess everything now, Yoojin might not "be understanding". He might not be willing to let go of his hurt and resentment to reconcile with him.

So should he stop reaching out, then? Surely there's still hope that they can reconcile in the future. Someday, maybe, when Yoohyun's sure he can protect Yoojin, even if Yoojin doesn't want to be with/near him.

#5: Learning about the world ending

Only, there's a deadline imposed by the end of the world, which Yoohyun learns about from filial duty addict Diarma. Part of the contract with the filial duty addicts, as Sung Hyunjae explains in chapter 102, is not interfering with said end of the world. Actually, the contractors have to give "their word that they’ll eliminate obstacles" i.e. other people fighting against the end of the world, so Yoohyun can't do anything about this deadline. This gives him a limited amount of time in which he can "eventually" reconcile with Yoojin.

So, as you ask, Anon, why not spend that limited time with his brother? Well, just because there's an end of the world approaching—which Yoohyun can't even talk about! L-rank contract, remember—doesn't mean that Yoojin is ���magically🌟 going to get any less mad about Yoohyun abandoning him for several years than before. Yoohyun still doesn't want to explain, so that argument is absolutely not getting resolved.

Even if he tries to explain vaguely that there's some threat and that he'd like Yoojin to live with him or at least accept his offers of protection and security, what happens if Yoojin refuses? Yoohyun clearly isn't willing to violate Yoojin's desires too far, since the most certain way to keep him safe would be to lock him up in a vault somewhere inside Haeyeon and never let anyone else see him, but that would trample all over his free will and happiness, not to mention it'd ruin Yoohyun's "live normally and happily with hyung" goals. So he'll have to let Yoojin stay out in the world, while all of Yoohyun's rivals and enemies are still out there, watching the Haeyeon Guild Leader reach out to his brother and wondering if they've reconciled. At that point, it doesn't matter if they actually have made up or not. If someone even suspects that Yoojin is close to Yoohyun, then they'll target him on the off-chance that it's true. And if Yoojin did refuse Yoohyun's offers, which he's almost certain to, then he's defenseless against whatever attacks come. And they will come. In chapter 6, Yoohyun admitted that a single visit to Haeyeon Guild by Yoojin, willing or unwilling, would be enough to get attention on him:

“But if I directly give orders for you to be brought in and allowed to live within Haeyeon Guild, my enemies will start to actively target you. Even with you just being here right now, I’m sure they’ll already have started keeping an eye on you.”

Think of it from Yoohyun's enemies' perspective. If Yoohyun cares about Yoojin, attacking Yoojin gives you leverage over Yoohyun. If Yoohyun doesn't care about Yoojin, then he won't care if you're attacking Yoojin, so you'll face no retaliation from him. Yoohyun's enemies have nothing to lose from this, while Yoohyun has everything to lose. So, in this situation, it'd be better to take the least risky path: just don't engage with Yoojin at all.

And, also, even if he'd decided to take that risk, there's a different one when it comes to actually figuring out a system to guard Yoojin. This point is more speculation, but I do think Yoohyun might have struggled with deciding when he'd done enough for Yoojin's protection. Because the reality is that Yoojin was never, ever going to be 100% safe from all dangers ever. Again, the vault method is the only way Yoohyun could achieve that. Yoohyun could've put together any amount of high-rank Hunters as Yoojin's exclusive security detail, and he'd still have to leave him alone with these potentially corruptible strangers for a full week at a time during every S-rank dungeon raid. I suspect there was a real risk of Yoohyun continuously going "I just need to get a bit stronger and a bit more established" indefinitely, without ever reaching a point where he was actually satisfied. (Which, if this was indeed a risk in canon, would be overridden in the post-regression timeline by Yoojin's keyword usage making Yoohyun's desire to live with him again and uncertainty about Yoojin's response win out over the urge to keep obsessing over safeguards.)

#6: What counts as a "real" threat

When it comes to Yoohyun's need to defend Yoojin against threats, there's also an important aspect you need to consider, which is: what threats? You see, the worlds of low-rank and high-rank Hunters are very different, to the point where Yoohyun seems to completely overlook some aspects of what Yoojin's used to dealing with, while Yoojin explicitly notes on multiple occasions that he didn't even realize Yoohyun faced certain dangers. As always, we come back to the poisoning attempts mentioned in chapter 6, the first time Yoojin realizes Yoohyun was suffering his own ordeals. This sort of sneaky threat gets reiterated in chapter 11, after Yoojin's trip to the Hunter Mall, when Yoohyun tells him he can't even take a simple drink from any public vendor because it might be poisoned (not something that'd work on Yoohyun himself, but it certainly would on those lower-ranked people around him who he cares about). No, not even in a government-sponsored location like the Association, because even these locations are filled with other guilds' spies and informants. Yoojin's internal response is essentially "what sort of underhanded bullshit is this", and out loud he questions Yoohyun about it:

“But would they do that sort of thing in none other than the Association? If they get caught, the backlash will be huge.” And if Awakened people couldn’t trust the Association, it’d end up hurting the guilds, too. “Of course they wouldn’t make trouble inside the Association. But it’s possible to have their target sent away in an ambulance or police car.” “…And then that ambulance or police car goes missing?” “You’re getting it.”

And Yoojin literally thinks, not a paragraph later, that this is maybe too much even for him:

Somehow, the further things went, the more I felt like I should stop being involved with this brat Yoohyun-ie and go off to live on my own.

Better the dangers you know than the ones you don't, but in Yoojin's words.

Everyone in the high-rank sphere is, well, high-rank. Strong and resilient even when they don't have defensive skills, to say nothing of when they do. They face threats, yes, Real Threats that pose danger to them and risk their safety and status, including threats from other people—Song Taewon mentions to Yoojin in chapter 83 that he's investigated Yoohyun for murder multiple times a year—but because they're so strong, those threats come in the form of dungeon monsters or social attacks, not actual physical harm. Especially not physical harm from other people; like, chapter 75 mentions there's laws against S-rank Hunters going into dungeons together for fear that they might hurt or kill each other, so unless they encounter each other in a dungeon break region where combat is expected (or pick fights with Chief Song, an S-rank duty-bound to fight other S-ranks), they're never really going to encounter personal threats from other Hunters.

Take all that through the lens of protecting Yoojin: he's just some guy, he's not involved in the social/political Hunter Hunger Games, so he's probably fine on that front, right? And otherwise, Yoohyun just needs to protect him from dungeons (keep Yoojin out of them when possible, prevent breaks in his area), and maybe just some general watching out for Yoojin getting himself into anything risky, since he's so weak as an F-rank. That's all the threats Yoohyun sees on a daily basis, so that's probably it, right?

Wrong. Low-rank Hunters have their own set of threats they face, and while a part of that is dungeons and monsters, a very large part of that is also just… being easy to kill, in a community of people very ready to kill. Low-rank Hunters murder each other a hell of a lot more than high-rank Hunters get to even hurt, let alone kill, each other. Think about how easily the knowledge of dungeons being good body disposal spots comes to Yoojin (chapter 19, when threatening Yerim's uncle). Think about the way Yoojin talks about being pressured into slave contracts and miner guilds, and how common it seems to be for low-rank Hunters to be maimed and disabled and left in the lurch (chapters 21 and 22, saving Yoo Myeongwoo from Hope Resources Guild). Think about chapter 49, where Yoohyun claims there's strong camaraderie among high-rank Hunters, and Yoojin responds with this:

Comradeship, huh. There was no such concept in low-rank Hunter teams. Of course, it wasn’t like there were no good people around. The problem was that they all died before long. There were fixed low-rank teams united through trust and friendship, but it was very rare that they lasted. With how strongly they banded together, if one of them died, they couldn’t endure the shock and would fall apart; and even if that didn’t happen, if they were doing well for themselves, they’d be attacked from the outside by the many Hunters who’d find them unpleasant. But a high-rank dungeon raiding team that suffered few such accidents could form a sense of comradeship and keep staying together.

Low-rank Hunters will get killed by monsters, or survive only to get killed by the loss of their teams, or find good teams only to get killed by other jealous low-ranks, or (in Yoojin's experience) survive multiple team-wide killings only to get ostracized and distrusted for being suspiciously good at surviving (almost like you're the one setting up your teams to fail! really makes you wonder, doesn't it?), or, or, or…

High-rank Hunters just… survive. That's it.

Of course Yoohyun wouldn't know to protect Yoojin from these threats. He's never faced them. To him, fighting other people is a fun, challenging pastime, where no one being allowed to kill each other is an unspoken rule that goes implicitly understood. He wouldn't realize how it was very much not fun for Yoojin; maybe he'd know it intellectually, but I don't think he'd understand, not without getting up close and personal to see Yoojin struggle with it, which he can't do himself. If he tries to send someone to spy on or just generally help out his brother, Yoojin's primed by his experiences to distrust the people around him, so spies won't get anything out of him, and any strong Hunter handpicked by Yoohyun to help his hyung might simply be unable to gain Yoojin's trust. (Picking out a whole team of strong Hunters? Even if Yoojin trusts them, they'd probably end up victimized by jealous Hunters. Rinse and repeat.) You must also take into account that Yoojin's been made enough of a target by society that he's hiding every weakness someone could potentially exploit. Hell, if he's hiding well enough, you might think he's doing just fine.

And in the time period where it would be blatantly obvious that Yoojin was not fine, that early period right when he Awakened and turned into society's scapegoat overnight? That was when Yoohyun and Haeyeon were also being targeted, and wouldn't have been able to spare the kind of attention and help Yoojin would've needed, not with all the scrutiny they were all being subjected to. Actually, when Yoojin's reminiscing about these times in chapter 59, he hypothesizes it might've been Yoohyun's rivals themselves who were behind the scapegoating:

At that time, it would’ve been hard for that guy to look out for me. Public opinion wasn’t good in many ways, and there were too many scrutinizing eyes for him to secretly look after me. Now that I thought about it, I wondered if there wasn’t some sort of operation targeting me. The response was too excessive to have simply been the work of a few trash journalists. It was a matter that could be packaged excitingly, I was an F-rank which made me easy to use, and at that time, it could drag down Haeyeon Guild in the public opinion. Whether it was the government, the Association, or rival guilds, they’d have been fools not to use me.

If it was Yoohyun's rivals behind it, then by fighting on the Haeyeon front, Yoohyun might actually have been keeping Yoojin safe, too. How do we know he didn't actually mitigate the suffering to some degree? We haven't heard from Yoohyun about his side of things during this time, so we don't have a definite answer one way or another.

Certainly, Seok Simyeong didn't help at all by making a public statement denouncing Yoojin, especially not when it was so bad Yoojin admits to almost being suicidal over it (chapter 19)! But, well, it was a busy time. We don't know whether Yoohyun was consulted on that one, or if it was something they rushed in order to get ahead of the situation. It might also be that Yoohyun was consulted and made the choice that they'd publicly denounce Yoojin but privately offer him support, only for Yoojin to reject it as he did before with the money Yoohyun sent. Yoojin's done this before, where he conveniently doesn't mention a detail about a scenario until it becomes immediately relevant!

I cannot emphasize enough that we don't have Yoohyun's perspective on this. We don't know what he was doing or not doing to help. But we know, from his love for Yoojin, from his desperate desire to keep him safe at all costs, that he must've been doing something. Was that something effective? Was it useful to Yoojin's immediate life? Who knows. But he was trying.

#7: Banning Yoojin from dungeons

…Keyword being trying. Because, uh. To be honest, how well do you think any direct attempts at "helping" went over? The very first moment that Yoojin regresses to is when Yoohyun got him out of a meeting with an Awakening broker. And Yoojin himself says that ended so badly that "after listening to Yoohyun-ie’s nagging, I’d become furious and stormed off, shouting that I could take care of myself and to quit bothering me" (chapter 5). So if Yoohyun tries to openly keep Yoojin out of danger, then Yoojin is going to have a screaming fit of anger at his life being controlled by someone who apparently isn't even interested in being in it.

And that's before Yoojin Awakened. Once he had an actual, legal, government-assigned license saying he could go into dungeons? Yoohyun had zero standing. Zero chance he was ever going to be able to stop him from going into dungeons, short of breaking down and crying and begging for him to not do it, which (to successfully convince Yoojin he wasn't just putting on a show or trying to guilt trip him) would also require Yoohyun to admit he still cared about Yoojin and reveal his 3- uh, 4- I mean, 5- 6(!!)-Year Master Plan To Keeping Hyung Safe Forever And Ever.

Yeah. Never gonna happen.

And even that one (1) attempt at keeping Yoojin away from dungeons and Hunters and everything related could've gone really badly, because as Yoohyun himself admits in their chapter 6 conversation, his enemies will "already have started keeping an eye on you [Yoojin]". Just from one single show of apparent concern for Yoojin's wellbeing! Can you imagine what would've happened if Yoohyun kept stopping Yoojin every time he tried to go into a dungeon? Setting Yoojin's own frustration and anger aside, can you picture the kind of attention that would've gotten Yoojin? No, this was one battle Yoohyun had to lose in order to win the overall war.

Anon, you mention providing "new options for Yoojin to stop going to dungeons". Okay, sure, we're starting with Yoojin being society's black sheep and probably rejected out of hand from most positions he applies to, and Yoohyun's only leverage in society being in dungeon- and Hunter-related fields. What options would he have provided for Yoojin? A dungeon- or Hunter-related job, probably at Haeyeon or one of its affiliates? That's precisely what we're trying to avoid, and also visible enough that Yoohyun might as well not have even fucking bothered with the 6-Year Master Plan etc. etc. Okay, so then something at one of Haeyeon's sponsors-? Except Haeyeon famously doesn't have backers, and any connections they have through business deals will be glaringly obvious to Yoohyun's rivals if leveraged. Oh, Han Yoojin, the man who no one wants to hire, got a job at a company whose products Han Yoohyun sponsored just a while ago! Absolutely no one is wondering how this could've happened. Also, funny how Han Yoohyun's helping Han Yoojin find work, it's almost like he cares about him… (And so the end begins.)

Remember, all of Yoohyun's efforts at separating himself from Yoojin require actually being separate from Yoojin and the choices he makes. Yoojin's life is—unfortunately enough for Yoohyun—his own to live… and his own to ruin.

#8: The transcendent threat

And all of that—every single one of these environmental factors that make it so Yoohyun has a billion and one concerns to consider before he can so much as talk to Yoojin—all of that comes before we take into account one more fact:

God Hates Caregivers Personally.

Or, in a non-joking manner, and in the fashion Yoohyun might have learned about it from Diarma, as is strongly suggested in the virtual reality dungeon arc during chapter 246:

There are beings out there, outside your world, stronger than anything you know, and this is acknowledging the fact that you are among the strongest existences humankind will ever produce. These beings rule your entire world, are the children of the very power that created the dungeons terrorizing your planet, are themselves so powerful that they can predict dungeons and manipulate the system in their favor, that they can manipulate the circumstances of individual humans as long as they're inside dungeons. In allying with any one of their number, you make an enemy out of half of the entire population of these transcendental existences. You have already made an enemy of them. And these people, these all-powerful creatures, who you've painted yourself a rival of? These same people have a known track record of killing the loved ones of people like you.

Your brother goes into dungeons every week as part of his job. He's already at immense risk. If you go near him, if you make it seem even slightly like you're interested in him personally, you make him an out-and-out target for these transcendents, and they'll smite him. He dies, and you die, and it's game over.

Option one: You can grow to their level, meet them with equal strength, certainly, but will you get the time to grow that far before they kill your brother? Is his natural lifespan even long enough that he'd survive the time it took for your growth? He dies. You die. Game over.

Option two: Don't pose a threat. It's too late for you to never get on their radar in the first place, but if you can keep from seeming any more dangerous, maybe they won't give him any attention. Secure a favor that will let you help him when he needs it, at most, but otherwise never use your transcendent connections to your own advantage.

Option two, taken to its conclusion: If you die before your brother does—if you die calling in that favor and saving his life—you never have to see him be killed.

(Option two, on the flip side: You will not expect it to be your own ally who set the stage for your loved one to be killed.)

So, basically, every single concern Yoohyun's had about protecting his brother that made him distance himself and not tell him anything so far? All of that is taken and cranked up to difficulty level Maximum. "If I show interest in hyung, one of my rivals or enemies might choose to hurt or kill him!" The transcendents WILL kill him with NO known incentive. Yoohyun might assume it's because he poses a threat to their side, but he can't be absolutely certain that's it. In fact, he doesn't know anything about this opposing transcendent faction, since he was blocked from contacting them by the very fact of having chosen a side in the first place, as Water Droplet explains when discussing the born S-ranks in chapter 106:

“We don’t know for sure either. The filial duty addicts contacted them first, so their information is obscured. We only know that there are five, and about the ones that are in contact with you.”

And while Yoohyun-as-Alpha knows the reasons behind the immoral people killing Caregivers—namely, that they want to remove distractions for S-ranks, so that they focus on combating dungeons and monsters—if Diarma had told Yoohyun about this, and if he'd thought to apply the bare minimum of intelligence to his delivery (a disclaimer that must be made, with this transcendent in particular), I really don't think he would've told him why. No, he would've wanted the immoral people to seem like a dangerous threat, so he would just have said that they might kill Yoohyun's family, without giving him their reasoning.

Which means Yoohyun knew nothing about the immoral people's motives, nothing about their goals, nothing about what they'd see as aggression. Which meant, hypothetically, that any and every action he took could trigger them to smoothly and efficiently eliminate the only person he loved in all the world. It would be so easy, too; Yoojin's entering their turf multiple times a month as part of his daily job, a fact which we've already established Yoohyun couldn't do anything about. The only thing he knew for sure is that they hadn't killed Yoojin so far.

Remember what I said before, about the known path being safer? Because you know the dangers you'll face on it? Yoohyun knows doing what he's doing right now is keeping Yoojin alive. He can't control a single other thing outside of that. And the danger posed by not doing what he's doing just got shifted to a level he is not prepared on any level to respond to. Before, he might've thought Yoojin was safe at least inside dungeons with his chosen teams; from his perspective, "dungeons with only guild members inside are actually safer than the outside world" (chapter 134), while the outside world was more of a risk because of all of Yoohyun's enemies. But now? There is danger all the time and in every location Yoojin goes, even those outside of this world, on an insane, unrivaled level. He is never, never safe, and any single unexpected action Yoohyun takes puts that at risk. If doing anything at all is dangerous, then it's better to do nothing.

So, yeah, that's the crux of it, isn't it. Yoohyun needs to protect Yoojin every day, every single time. Everything else in the whole world only needs to kill Yoojin once. In such a situation, how would Yoohyun ever dare to risk making either of them vulnerable?

…The end! I hope that this explanation, long as it is, has given you at least some additional insight into Why Yoohyun Did All That, and helped serve as a reminder of just how little we actually know about Yoohyun's perspective of the events pre-regression.

By the way, this entire post is pulling only from information we get up to chapter 272; there’s more information revealed up to chapter 350—actually, even just in the next few chapters after that, up to 275—that sheds more light on Yoohyun’s decision-making process in the pre-regression timeline. Maybe I’ll come back and post a part 2 to this analysis someday using the additional information we get as time goes on, but right now, this much will have to be enough.

In any case—thanks for reading this far. And of course, as promised, here's the poll!

[venbetta]

This is Tumblr, we're all wild animals with zoomies. Please share your thoughts.

You right... you're so right

Time to vomit all of my thoughts then-

I’m gonna have to be so sparring with the pictures due to the 10 image limit *sob* whatever i'll figure it out,,

Also I'm gonna say this- Freddy isn't possessed by Michael Afton in this. I don't mind Glammike, but I love the idea of Freddy just becoming a “deviant” I guess. Robots becoming human. They should totally make a game or something… wink wink.

I'm gonna just dig into the lyrics and breakdown my thought process for some of the frames… (I'm not doing every lyric, only some that stood out)

So, the meaning of “My Way” is based around self determination, that's the basic gist. I personally interpreted it as individualism, seeing how the lyrics have certain phrases based around it.

I had heard this song at the beginning of this year and immediately thought of Freddy. I also remember hearing the ai cover version at one point… (moving on)

And it was pretty obvious that most people agreed that this was his song.

Let's break it down >:]

And now, the end is near

And so I face the final curtain

I started the scene with Freddy walking on the third floor atrium, and I guess I took “I face the final curtain” literally since he's looking at the main stage lmao

My friend, I'll say it clear

Small side note, it's literally the most miniscule detail, but I felt like he was referring to Bonnie when he said “my friend” … It doesn't help that he's on the same floor as Bonnie Bowl.

I've lived a life that's full

Freddy reflecting about his “life” performing alongside his friends, I specifically added Chica because she's one of the remaining members of the original trio. :)

Regrets I've had a few

But then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption

This verse was the best way to describe Freddy's situation. He had to not only escort this kid around the pizzaplex but he had to make sure Gregory wouldn't get hurt. He didn't want to hurt his friends but he couldn't let them hurt Gregory either. While it's shown that the other glamrocks were shattered, him saying he has regrets, I thought about whether or not he did the shattering himself or it was Gregory.

I mean, canonically, it was all Gregory's doing, Freddy was an accomplice… (sort of), but in the back of my mind, a messed up part of me wanted it to be Freddy's doing. Especially when we get to the confrontation scene. Honestly it can be interpreted both ways. I've read a fic where Freddy killed his friends… very gruesome but badass.

Anyways have a Freddy ear wiggle... cutest fucking thing ever.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew

But through it all, when there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all, and I stood tall

And did it my way

Another one of those verses where I went fucking crazy and said “THAT'S HIM.”

So as it's seen in the animatic, Freddy is trying to keep Gregory safe. Gregory was originally going to be in his stomach hatch during this fight scene, but as I mentioned, Freddy wouldn't have wanted him to be in serious danger, so.. I changed it to him carrying Gregory.

“I'm sure you knew when I bit off more than I could chew” refers to Gregory being aware of how much he was in danger, and Freddy deciding to bite the bullet towards confronting his friends. Even if it meant someone was going to get hurt.

“When there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out.” God, I loved drawing Freddy clenching his fists. The hesitancy before just accepting that he has to protect Gregory at all costs. Maybe I took some of the lyrics and made them slightly literal? Idk. Either way, this scene was powerful, especially when he and Monty clashed together.

“I stood tall” to me shows how Freddy was no longer going to let his soft persona get in the way. This part was just very fun to draw and put together… :3

I've loved, I've laughed and cried

I've had my fill, my share of losing

And now, as tears subside

I find it all so amusing

Once again Freddy is thinking about his friends and life, I found this part kind of hard? Originally I wanted him to be surrounded by his friends, and have it fade to just him standing alone, but I didn't like how it was drawn lol. I improvised and had it be a poster instead.

Also there's something heartbreaking about how he examines his plushie. “I find it all so amusing”, I interpreted that as him being melancholic about the situation, looking between the plushie and Gregory by the exit.

To think I did all that

And may I say, not in a shy way

Ah yes, Freddy setting the plushie on fire. I like to think he makes up his mind at that moment that none of this was worth it anymore. Once again, that interpretation of him being complacent to his friends being shattered kinda fits into this line a little, “I did all that”, as if he's surprised he had it in him to go that far to protect Gregory.

I did it my way

…self explanatory. Freddy said, “Yeah nah I'm done. Burn this bitch to the ground.”

I mean, that's basically the fire escape ending if I'm being honest. Mine's just funnier.

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught

To say the things he truly feels

And not the words of one who kneels

The record shows I took the blows

And did it my way

The final stretch. So this verse is pretty heavy, also I had to pace this correctly… I'm surprised I managed to fit the climax in.

“For what is a man” when I heard that line for the first time… fire no pun intended. It's also kinda ironic(?) Freddy says this, since he's an animatronic… but me personally, I saw it as an epiphany for him. He's acknowledging his own individualism, and that's all he has now. He made the decision to protect Gregory, to fight his friends, and now he's making the choice to burn everything down.

“To say the things he truly feels, and not the words of one who kneels” Good shit. He's not taking orders from anyone anymore, he's gone full deviant now.

And with the confrontation with Vanny, he makes the impulsive decision to take her out, going down with her. “I did it my way” the grand climax of the song, where he throws both of them off the building… lowkey my favorite part. I had fun using the tracking tool on the editing program to make them pan across the screen in slow mo…

But yeah, Freddy was gonna go down his own way- even if it was unnecessary.

Yes it was my way

The fall and the brief daze and fear in his eyes…

There's something about the acceptance in his eyes that makes my chest swell.

I'm surprised I haven't cried to this animatic yet.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who doesn't like this ending of SB… it's so weird and confusing. I laughed my ass off watching it due to how whacky it was… also I still believe that Vanessa on the roof was an apparition/ghost. Idk… it makes sense to me.

The fact that I made this ending have more impact makes it more satisfying. I know it was very indulgent but like… that was the point. I know Freddy's characterization in the game is pretty limited, outside of him being a goofball, but he had genuine moments where there was something else there (I'm looking at the true ending scene).

Listen, I headcanon Freddy as someone who's sweet and puts on his best face but has the entire company of FazEnt on his shoulders and all he can do is tolerate it because he was made to entertain. Having him not only have an existential crisis but an epiphany lets Freddy shine a little more.

I say the best part during the animatic process is looking at the lyrics and breaking them down for the story. It helps with pacing :)

I plan to do another fnaf animatic this weekend, so look forward to some wips… if I decide/remember to share

Feel free to ask me anything, I'll try to answer them!

:)

[silly-chiroptera]

Hello!!! sorry if this is random and you probably wont see it anyway im guessing, but I wanted to apologize for any messages you get from those toxic davesport fans and shit like that :( I'm a davesport shipper myself but i hate to see other people shitting on others for not shipping davesport or if someone ships something else. this fandom is so small i dont even get how theres so much drama for absolutely nothing its actually fucking insane how sensitive people are in this fandom.

in my version of davesport (depending on how im feeling actually), they usually just act like good friends; not too close but not too far either. Yeah, they MAY have a crush on each other but I at least don't think jack would make it AS obvious. And honestly I don't think they would be very lovey-dovey too. The most I can see them doing canonically is holding hands very rarely or just giving each other a quick hug, normal shit friends do. Not full on making out and cuddling 24/7 stuff.

I've came across your account or whatever a few times on tumblr now and i just wanted to say I really appreciate your art!!! im guessing you also weren't very popular like other artists since you dont get talked about at all anywhere else, and thats a shame.

I apologize once again for writing all of this lmao i didnt mean for it to be so long but yeah I really wish you were more recognized in the dsaf community for good reasons obv! sorry if you dont like reading abt davesport either lol, i swear they're not all I talk about. if anything, i like talking about the kennedy siblings more, they never have enough content either.

nah its good m80 you dont have to apologize for people who wont apologize themselves for acting so deranged in the worst way possible i haven't received any hate messages or people attempting to argue with me about my opinion yet thankfully though so there's that! if people don't really vibe with me then its whatever they can just unfollow me if they don't like my unpopular thought processing... there's like literally hundreds of other fans who like that ship and i personally dont understand the people who make a big deal about other people hating it as if it were a cockroach infestation. davesport shippers are the majority here GRJKDKLS at this point i don't really care about getting a whole lot of recognition...i really only care about having this blog be a safe space for people who are more like me rather than trying to cater to the majority of the dsaf fanbase but thank you for saying that ! :) also i love the kennedy family sm even though i havent attempted to draw peter or rarely drew dee i love them very much and all three of them kinda remind me of myself in little ways

[neverendinglabyrinth]

"Okay, let's do this one last time."

"My name is Aveline. I was actually bitten by a (non-radioactive) spider once, and for the past three years I've been Tumblr's one and only Spider-Woman."

About me!

I'm fluent in both English and Spanish!

I'm a full time athlete; very proud four-time junior national champion, hoping to qualify for LA 2028, also a part-time artist, graphic designer and video editor.

Animation is the love of my life, my ultimate life goal is to direct my own animated movie!

I love everything colorful and bright and fun! My favorite colors are the neon ones lmao.

I have consistent nightmares and my dreams are structured in a very weird way, sometimes i blog about it.

Obsessed with music to an unhealthy degree and I'm not kidding, I ALWAYS have my headphones on.

I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and you WILL hear me complain about it from time to time.

I love interacting with people who share my interests, so send me an ask, here are some question ideas i found (link) if you don't know what to ask.

Also i have a side blog its @cherry-starz, its literally just reblogs of pretty pictures but it might give you a good insight of what i like outside of fandom and funny posts :)

fandoms:

i am beyond obsessed with these shows/movies please talk to me about them.

★ The Spider-Verse in general! [#spiderverse]

★ Arcane: League of Legends [#arcane]

★ Lockwood & Co [#l&co]

other media i enjoy (no specific tags yet):

How To Train Your Dragon

Coraline

The Last Of Us (game & show)

Big Hero 6

Rise Of The Guardians

Labyrinth (1986)

Alice In Wonderland (all versions tbh)

The Mitchells Vs. The Machines

Perks of Being a Wallflower

The Maze Runner

Phineas & Ferb

Monster High (g1 specifically, idk whats goin on with the new gens rn)

(many others)

tag system:

#art i like | #i love music | #certified internet images | #reblogs

★ my original posts: #neverendingthoughts

★ best posts of all time: #tumblr hall of fame

★ posts i find useful/i want to remember: #important papers

★ other stuff that doesn't fall into any of these categories: #junk drawer

music:

my spotify stats are concerning.

boy, do i LOVE MUSIC! i listen to more than a 1,000 separate artists, and when I say that I listen to everything I MEAN IT! PLAY ME YOUR NICHE CIRCUS AMBIENCE MUSIC AND I WILL PROBABLY EAT THAT SHIT UP!

but to be more specific, my favorite genre is probably rock and everything that falls under it's umbrella, i love me some electric guitar dude it's like a drug.

thank you so much for taking the time to read this!

but before you leave, you must to make a choice:

video 1 vs. video 2

the choice is yours...

(both are safe, one is just slightly more annoying than the other).

[hey-sherry]

Sherlock Holmes The Awakened Demo Thinky Thoughts

A bit late, but I wanted to share my first reaction to the Awakened demo! This is essentially an expanded version of what I wrote on the FW discord, with screenshots edited to look nicer for tumblr. I will do a separate post on the extra stuff that is normally inaccessible without Ansel. [Extra stuff post here]

So: spoilers ahead + keep in mind that the game is darker and moodier, I edited some of the screenshots so that they are clearer on tumblr/mobile view.

Sweet sweet concept art, gorgeous intro music, yay! The main theme is atmospheric and dark, giving me very slight vibes of the Sarif HQ track from DX:HR... I mean this in a good way, not in a “they copied it” way. It’s that sort of nostalgic ambience, but deeper and darker. One day I’ll stop drawing parallels to Deus Ex, but today is not that day.

The intro cinematic is pre-rendered and really good; I liked Sherlock's narration and the implication it's all in Watson's/players' hands now... He sounds more authoritative and distant than in CO.

I really liked the visual with the fly caught in the cobweb.

I did not expect this! It's a really fun title sequence and wow, we’re being thrown straight into chapter 3. I too thought it would be London but this is great 😄

WATSON!!! At this point I’m thinking, “Oooh we're gonna play as Watson, they probably don’t want to show Sherlock just yet, I know someone who's gonna be very happy about this o,o” (ahem hem, @lucere-aeresta​) I like long dialogues/cinematics so this intro was a treat. I'll have to replay of course but it felt very satisfying to see a chunk of the story here and be introduced to the new characters. There’s a lot going on!

The receptionist

Dr. Gygax!

You can walk around a little and talk to a couple of NPCs. There’s this easter egg - it’s a Lovecraft easter egg (thanks for figuring that one out, Lucere!) The paper itself is straight from Cordona. :D

You cannot pick this letter up, but the message is very clear. May be a clue in the final game.

Who’s there...? BTW this is the exact face Sherlock gives Jon when he plays the guitar too loudly in the CO seance scene :D

OH NO. LMAO! This had me in stitches, and of course I lied. Nice American accent, you dork. The subsequent journal entry essentially saying "Watson tried to act, I guess" gave me a chuckle. I tried!  So hard! And in the en-- moving on...

Here’s how the journal looks like now. The clues have updated icons and you can toggle to sort them by type (document, conversation, item, etc.) or the order in which you found them.

So yeah, Sherlock shows up in disguise and a terrible American accent, says the iconic “Guten day,” and then he gets sedated because Watson cannot lie to save his life.

Of course. OF COURSE. Now I know someone who's going to be a bit disappointed we don’t spend much time as Watson, but that's not me. 😂 My first thought -> they heard us cry and wail about the stubble and said "We're gonna make you beg to have the stubble back" Ok, ok, you win. I'm sorry. 😭

(insert half an hour of zooming around with Ansel instead of playing the damn game) This is how the game levels look when you go out of bounds!

Found some of you in the back! And in the cells! :3 (There’s a wall with photographs of the Kickstarter backers, and a row of cells with names and custom faces - although you cannot see the characters very well at this point.)

Right, I should play. The lockpicking puzzles were fun, but I'll admit I found both of them extremely easy. But I am a seasoned adventure game fan and it's a nice little thing to do for that feeling of escaping the cells. The “Mycroft” (custom) difficulty setting does let you change the puzzle difficulty, so we are probably going to face a bigger challenge in the finished game. The settings don’t make a difference in the demo, though.

SHERLOCK. NO. PUT IT DOWN.

PUT THOSE DOWN OH MY GOD

So yeah, I think it’s safe to say he’s a full blown addict by now. Vogel, what have you done?

Ran into the guard three times, got a game over 😎 Confirmation that yeah Sherlock is still afraid of water! I bet he's gonna love the trip to America and boating around the swamps. What could go wrong.

FYI, there's a guard that you need to figure out how to get past. It's not a sneaking sequence, but you need some items. If he notices you 3 times he rings the alarm, and the game reloads

At this point I'm having fun just investigating stuff and admiring the new journal etc., it's all very nicely designed. It's awesome that we can sort evidence by type now! The mind palace facelift is so good and feels more involved than before.

Back to the game... I SQUEALED!!! 😄 duhhh

And again! Two back to back CO references, yay ♥

Well I am a smart detective and deal with the guard with my brain and not my fists. Time to yoink all of his clothes. Where did his body go? We don't ask such questions around here...

HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL YEAAAAAAAH

ANSEL PHYSICS RESET MY BELOVED ♥♥ never fix this please never ever

(cue another photoshoot) 

The biggest tease in all of the demo: THAT EXCLAMATION MARK. Let... me... see... outfits! 😂 Lovingggg the updated outfit screen, so happy there's some gorgeous lighting in there. It looked kinda bad in CO.

Okay, back to playing the game! I LIED, more photoshoots as the inmates scream, cry, and wail all around me. Sucks to be them, I guess.

Okay, Gerda! I LOVE her new design, and her voice actress too! She was so great.

Gerda is the second inmate that we meet. She wants her friend Heidi back and until then she will not talk. The first inmate that we meet is Mauricio Napoleon, it is just a short but entertaining conversation/cinematic. We don’t talk to him any more in the demo.

He does that lil smile as she spits the worst threats at him, it's glorious

Something something Silent Hill 3 (Gorgeous!)

I try to play the mountain goat in every game and the absence of the jump button will not stop me

So I didn't take screenshots of the quite meaty gameplay surrounding getting Heidi back and figuring out what's going on, so here's some thoughts: - The updated crime scene investigation looks fantastic! The smokey green aesthetics are fitting and everything is much clearer than it was in CO. I like that we can see how many variations there are for each 'node'. The only thing I'm not sure about is the first person perspective - Sherlock's close focus mode - because I had trouble seeing what's different in the variations, and sometimes the models would push me back a little bit when they loaded. I'd move away from the node just by trying to see things and had trouble re-positioning... not a great deal of trouble, of course, but it is a downgrade from SHCO. I think the 3rd person mode like with Jon in CO works much better. This is my biggest criticism of the demo. - There was a tad too much running back and forth just to seemingly fetch a few items... this may be polished further, I don't know. It gave me old adventure game vibes where you kinda run back and forth for a few small things lol. - I wished we could use the items more directly and/or assemble things, not just have them as text in the inventory... but I understand that making a new puzzle feature may be too much work at this point - The "three clues" dialogue confused me for a moment, but so it did in CO as well so this may be a ‘me’ problem 😂 I keep forgetting that there are 3 different questions to answer, not that I need to present 3 accurate clues... hahah. - The darker overtones are soooo up my alley! When I figured out what had happened to one of the people in the casket... ooof anyway, time to find and assemble Heidi!

Him <3

Awww, isn't it cute?

BUT IT'S WRONG

Oh so wrong 😂 I did NOTTTT expect this ahahahahhhh Hands down the best part of the demo The mental health aspect of the remake was what had me a little worried, but you know what, I think it's gonna be fine 😂 Heidi is one bad bench, and Sherlock just ACCEPTING he's now talking to a demonic doll and making the most of it is just chef's kiss Love, love, love. We're all mad here.

I unlocked a reward, and what a sweet one it is! Sadly, you cannot change your clothes in the demo. The updated physics make his chain and bag go bouncing like crazy, haha.

And thank

you

for reading! Feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions.

[safyresky]

Crystal Springs Chapter 21: Jacqueline's Cat

aka, Two Weeks Later, is up and at em, right here! Give it a read, give it a review, have a blast and a half!

For those who've recently joined the tag, hi! Allow me to introduce to you my The Santa Clause 3-specific fic, Crystal Springs! If you're in the mood for some funky gen fic, featuring our beloved icy blorbo Jack Frost and a redemption arc of sorts, with a cast of absolutely unhinged OCs, I'd highly recommend giving Crystal Springs a chance! Here's a summary for you all to eat up:

"It's been nearly a year since Jack's thaw and things...could be better, admittedly. It seems, that as the year has gone on and he's improved his relationship with Santa and the whole of Elfsburg, his powers have taken a hit. December's just around the corner, and his powers are just short of being gone.

This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that Jack's powers are the only reason that Elfsburg, the Workshop, and the North Pole are able to exist safely, tucked away under the Dome. With his powers gone, the winter magic that keeps the Dome sturdy and dishing out proper quantities of Christmas magic, is running hot and out of control. It's melting, and the North Pole is getting warm.

Unable to hide his power loss any longer, an intervention is held by the Council and Jack admits that he lacks the Frost. But thankfully, there is a solution: enacting the Legate Law, summoning the sprite next-in-line for the title of Jack Frost.

There's just one problem: Jack's Legate is his younger sister, Jacqueline, who he has not seen or talked to since he nearly killed her dead almost fourteen hundred years ago. Out of options, with no other possible solution in their sights, they do it, bringing Jack and the sister he hurt so many years ago back together once more, in the hopes that together, they can get Jack's powers back and stop the Deliquesce.

Unfortunately, the Frosts have never been very lucky. Soon after her arrival, Jacqueline starts experiencing some unexpected blackouts, with unintended consequences. With Jack's powers hanging in the balance, and Jacqueline on the fritz, the pair decide to head back home to Crystal Springs, bringing Jack face to face with the rest of his family...and an ancient threat waiting for their moment to strike, their carefully laid plans finally coming full circle. Seems like saving Christmas may be a little bit...complicated this year.

This fic is my baby. Originally posted in 2012/13, it was finished in 2014/15, rewritten in 2017, and then again starting in 2020. We're still working through the 2020 version NOW, hence why you see these random updates in the tags, but not on ff.net. (CS is not posted to ao3 as of yet, but I'll get to it one of these days! )

Piqued your interest? SCHWEET! Have some links.

PROLOGUE (skipable tbh, will be better once Frostmas is finished) CHAPTER 1 (good starting point, would recommend)

Not vibing it? Cool cool cool, go ahead and click that J key and head on down your dash to something you do vibe!

All caught up on CS 202X? Then onto the main event!

What's 🆕 In Chapter 21?

AXED the ENTIRE lost journals/here's what we learnt at the Dream Spire bit with the cold front, given that I took those events and spread them about the previous two chapters, Chapter 19: The Man with a Plan, and Chapter 20: Freedom, both of which were updated December 4th! (icymi) :)

Probably should've updated this one along with the other two, but I neglected to read ahead/totally forgot about the cold front preamble while Fino is fighting for his life under the bed lol, so here we are! Hopefully it didn't uh. Cause confusion for readers not on tumblr lmao

PREAMBLE ASIDE, WHAT'S GOING ON THIS CHAPTER?

🆕 Sibling fluff!

🆕 Blinter fluff!

🆕 CS lore!

🆕 Fiera's doing hot girl soot! (literally)

BETTER focus on the fam helping the cold front figure shit out re: blackouts and power shortages!

NEW Scott/Carol banter because Carol deserves to get a few digs at Scott!

WORD COUNT F A C T S: 2014 -> 4,440k 2017 -> 7,866k 2022-> 15,431k :O

I think last week's angst really spurred me on to finish this chapter. Please accept my humble offering of the main timeline where all the frosts are alive and thawed and nobody is dead, I swear. And as usual, if you find yourself enjoying it, do drop me a line! Send a review my way! Throw a reblog out there! I like to hear what people think! I will talk about these blorbos for DAYS.

[testingblogforadmiraltests]

Preparing a Freesewing pattern for laser cutting using Inkscape

I don't really know the best place to put this but i figured a tumblr post would at least be mobile-friendly and easier to move once I do know lmao.

Other vector editors will work, but Inkscape is free and open source, and even if the software updates and changes, you will still be able to download version 1.4, which I wrote this tutorial using, so you can still follow along. It will also work on Windows, Mac, and most Linux distributions.

This tutorial assumes a basic familiarity with your specific laser. I have a very cheap Creality Falcon 5w laser with no safety features at all, so I always cut in a ventilated space that pets and people cannot access easily and wear a respirator and eye protection.

This was written with LightBurn as the intended output program for your laser. I strongly recommend at least giving the Lightburn trial a shot. It's expensive at $99 but you only pay for it once-- Linux support will be dropped after version 1.7, but even that version is still very robust. The Perforation Mode setting is what I use to mark where seams go, so if you don't need this, you can skip almost everything that mentions the seam line.

Those who already have familiarity with generating FreeSewing patterns can skip to step 4.

Dial in your FreeSewing measurements. Before you start a full project in FreeSewing, you should always make sure your measurements are correct. Think of FreeSewing less like a pattern website and more like a giant calculator. You're drafting from scratch every time, not using well-tested ready-to-wear patterns, so you need to approach this like drafting (just without all the math and specialty rulers). Generate something quick and fitted-- titan for checking pants, a very basic sven for your torso and sleeves, bella or noble for tight fits to the torso. Use paperless mode to cut them out of butcher paper or print them out for a quick tape up, and adjust if necessary. Then do a draft cut out of old sheets, clearance bin fabric, or whatever you can find at the thrift store, using pins as closures. I also strongly, strongly recommend asking in the FreeSewing discord's #need-help channel if you have any questions at all, even if it's just for a quick sanity check, BEFORE you get frustrated. The community is extremely helpful and kind and the original designers of patterns tend to be active members. Once your measurements are right, you'll be able to do a tape-up and then a cheap-fabric-draft of the design you want.

Pick a design and adjust Core Settings. For this project, I'm going to be using yuri since it's got a lot going on. As a laser user, the very first thing you'll want to do is make sure that your User Experience option is set to "Give Me All Powers, But Keep Me Safe". Once that's done, you'll be able to open up the Core Settings options.

Change the "Include Seam Allowance" option to "Yes." This will cause the "Seam Allowance Size" option to appear. Change this to your desired seam allowance. Since I am sewing for dolls, I use a 6mm (roughly 1/4") seam allowance. If you prefer imperial, there's a "Units" option a little further down. Selecting the "Paperless" option will display key measurements in your selected units. Checking your physical body against these measurements will help make sure the pattern you're about to cut will fit correctly. Disabling the "Details" option can be useful for laser cutting later, but for now leave it set to "Yes." The "Expand" option is only used in a few patterns, but if you're doing 100% of your cutting on the laser, you'll need it set to "yes." Since I am sewing for dolls, I also need the "Scale" setting to be lowered. This does not affect the pattern pieces, but it makes the text smaller so that it's easier to read.

3. Adjust your style choices. Increasing the Ease on a pattern will make it looser-- FreeSewing tends to skew towards a very custom fit, but if you're used to Ready-To-Wear clothing you may prefer things to be looser. If you ever feel like the pattern looks weird, you can use the cloud button on the left to save all your adjustments, and then generate a new pattern using one of FreeSewing's curated measurement sets.

People tend to be shaped very differently so things might not be as strange as you think.

4. Export to Inkscape. Once you're done and checked everything, use the Download button on the left to Export the pattern. You'll get a list of options. Under "Export for Editing," click the "SVG" button.

An .svg file will download. If you're making a yuri, the file will just be called "Freesewing-yuri.svg" so take the time right now to rename this file to something more descriptive, then open the file in Inkscape.

5. Set up your inkscape work area.

Once in Inkscape, you can use your scroll wheel or use a pinch gesture on your track pad to zoom in and out. We're mostly going to be making use of the right-hand panel. Use the two dots on the outer edge of this panel to expand it out a bit, then use the down arrow in the upper right-hand corner of the panel to make sure you have tabs for "Layers and Objects," "Fill and Stroke," and "Path Effects" visible. Then, go to Edit>Preferences>Behavior>Steps.

Set the "Inset/Outset by:" setting to half of your FreeSewing seam allowance. My seam allowance is 6mm, so I set this to 3mm.

6. Orient pieces with the grain line going the same way. Don't worry yet about whether pieces will fit on your laser bed-- this step simply eliminates the need for the grain line marker and will make that step easier when we get to it. For yuri, the only piece with a grainline that isn't vertical by default is the hoodCenter part. Select the "Layers and Objects" tab and expand the "fs-container" Group. Then, from the list, click on "fs-stack-yuri.hoodCenter" part-- this will select the part, popping up arrows that will allow you to stretch the part. We don't want to stretch it, so click on the part itself-- any of the lines or text will do-- which will change the selection box to have curved arrows at the corners.

We want to make sure we're rotating at clean angles, so hold down the ALT key while clicking and holding one of the curved arrows and dragging it until the piece is fully rotated. By default, the ALT key will snap to 15 degree angles, unless you changed this in step 5.

7. Clean up each pattern piece. Select the "Layers and Objects" tab and expand all the Groups in this window. Decide on a piece to start with and click on its Group. This will select the object and make it easy to find so you can zoom in. Select each object inside the group to find them and determine what they are

7a. Delete the grain line by selecting it either in the document or in the Layers and Objects window and pressing the Delete key. This is usually but not always the first Line object in the group (in the above screenshot, it's "fs-11"). Select it first to find it and make sure you're deleting the right thing.

7b. Next, we need to delete all the text, but there's sometimes important information there. Zoom in on the text to read the cut instructions.

You can then double-click on the part's Group name to rename it, and add the cut instructions into the group name. The Group name is only for your benefit, so you can also clean up the "fs-stack-yuri." prefix if you like. Once that's done, select all the text layers and delete them.

7c. Delete the FreeSewing logo and the two boxes for checking scale that appear on some larger pieces. Save your document after cleaning each piece!

8. Prep your cut and perforation lines. Doing this now instead of at the end will make transferring marks easier and more accurate. The purpose of this step is to get your file ready for transfer into LightBurn. By default, LightBurn will try to honor any Layers set in your svg document, but FreeSewing has these nicely laid out Groups that are already well-organized, and we want to be able to keep each seam line attached to its cut line, so we're going to fall back to LightBurn's backup method of determining layer, which is by line color.

8a. Pick a piece to start with that you'll base all your other pieces off of. Select the dashed line. This is the line we're going to want to cut along. LightBurn has thirty different colors it can use as layers and store different cut settings in. I tend to leave Layer 00 black open for testing materials, so I store my perforation data for fabric on Layer 01 blue and my cut data for fabric on Layer 02 red. These are arbitrary and you can pick any of the thirty layers you want for this by using a close enough color.

8b. Select your cut line. This will be the outermost line, and by default FreeSewing makes this a dotted line. Then, click on the "Fill and Stroke" tab. There will now be three sub-tabs underneath this. You shouldn't need the Fill sub-tab as it will already be set to "no fill." The "Stroke Paint" sub-tab should be set to "flat color" in the upper left corner. Below, you'll have a robust color picker with options to switch into cmyk or rgb mode, as well as an option to open a color wheel if you prefer. You just need to get it close enough to the layer color you're using in LightBurn. The HSL values in this screenshot will always map to Layer 02 red.

Optionally, select the "Stroke style" sub-tab and change the "dashes" drop-down to a solid line. LightBurn cannot differentiate between solid and dotted lines and discards that data, so this is purely a personal choice.

8c. Repeat step 8b with a different color for the seam line. This will be the inner line on a part, and by default FreeSewing makes this a solid line. Choose a strong blue color (such as HSL value 240,100,50,100) to map to Layer 01 blue.

If you're having trouble selecting lines, it might be helpful to use the Node tool, which is right below the select tool on the toolbar. The default shortcut key is N.

It may be easier to select individual lines between different Groups with this tool.

8d. Apply this same line styling to all your other pieces. Inkscape includes a way to do this very quickly. Start by selecting your colored seam line and press CTRL+C to copy it. Then, select the seam line on another piece and press CTRL+SHIFT+V to paste only the line styling. Repeat with all other seam lines, then go back to the cut line and press CTRL+C to copy that and CTRL+SHIFT+V to paste the styling to all the other cut lines. Save your progress.

9. Add stitch guides for hems. This entire step is optional, but I prefer to have it, and you may find the techniques shown to be useful. Select the stitch line of a piece that has a hem, such as a sleeve, and press CTRL+D to duplicate it. Then, click on Path>Inset. This will move the duplicate inside your seam line by half your seam allowance if you set your Inset/Outset correctly in step 5.

9a. We only want to keep one segment of this line, in our case the one parallel to the cuff. Switch to the Node tool and select the far right-most point of the line you want to keep. From the Node tool's ribbon, click "Break path at selected node," then press the Delete key.

This should delete the part of the line past the one we want to keep. If it does not, press ctrl+z and manually click on the point again and press Delete one more time. Keep deleting nodes until only the line we want is left.

9b. Switch back to the Select tool. Hold down Shift and use one of the horizontal arrows-- not the diagonals-- to stretch the line out to the cut line.

9c. Use the same method as in 9a to delete the line that marks the bottom edge of the garment. This lines up exactly with where the edges of the hem start to taper inward, so you can recreate this line after cutting by simply folding from one corner to the other.

You can also use this method to shorten the amount of fabric in the hem. By default, FreeSewing puts three times your seam allowance in the hem, meaning your final hem folds up into four layers of fabric. This can be way too much for things like dolls or when using very thick fabric, or if you want to finish with a binding or facing instead of a hem.

10. Transfer any notches. There are a couple of different ways to do this, the simplest of which is to print out a copy of the pattern, cut out the piece along the seam line, and then fold or cut the pattern piece as needed to create templates you can trace onto your fabric with chalk or a frixion pen. However, you can also get away with doing most of it paperlessly. In yuri, the sleeve piece has two separate notches, which you can see better by zooming in:

Select the Star/Polygon tool from the toolbar on the left or by pressing * and use the following settings in polygon mode:

This will generate a triangle. Place one that's about the size of the notch marker, then switch back to the Select tool by clicking its icon or pressing S, and move it so that it's centered over the notch, and rotate it so that it's pointing outward toward the cut line. Don't worry about the line style, it won't matter.

Slide the triangle in the direction it's pointing until it's sticking out of the cut line. It doesn't have to be precise.

With the triangle still selected, hold down Shift and select the cut line. Both objects should now be selected. Go to Path>Union at the top of the screen, or press the CTRL key and the + key (or CTRL+SHIFT+=) to merge the two. The triangle should take on the style of the cut line if it doesn't already have it. Save your progress.

The other notch is marked differently to indicate that it needs to be distinct from the first notch. To do this, simply add another triangle and continue holding shift while selecting it include it in the Union.

You can see in the above screenshot that these are not perfectly lined up. This is fine, as these sleeve cap notches don't need to match up perfectly with the arm holes; they are just to indicate which side of the sleeve cap touches the front of the jacket, and which side touches the back. Other patterns may have similar needs, so plan accordingly after reviewing the pattern's instructions. Once your notches are marked in the seam allowance, you can delete the originals. Save your progress.

11. Add any other marks. Try using a circle or a dovetail, or an inverted notch cut into the seam allowance for marking things like stitching or gathering stop/start points. Remember that anything in blue will be done in perforation mode, so you can even try adding things like letters in the seam allowance. Buttonholes will be cut open after they're sewn, so you can safely use a perforated line to mark where those go. If you're cutting scrap fabric for a rough draft, there's nothing stopping you from using perforations for every single pattern marking. Save your progress.

12. Unfold any pieces cut on the fold. While it's possible to line up pieces on a laser cutter on a fold by simply cutting a marker line on your base, lining the fold up against it, lining up all your pieces along that line in LightBurn, and then excluding the line from the final cut, it's a lot more precise to have these pieces unfolded. Make sure this is the very last edit you make! Inkscape's Live Path Effects feature makes this whole process very quick.

12a. Select the cut line in the Layers and Objects tab, then open the Path Effects tab. From the drop down, select Mirror Symmetry.

12b. By default, the piece will be mirrored as if flipped along the highest X coordinate of the piece. FreeSewing always puts the fold on the left, or at X coordinate zero, so it will appear backwards.

To fix this, simply set the X value of both the start and end points of the mirror line to 0. The default values are automatically generated, but if you get stuck, you can also get the correct result by changing the Start point's Y coordinate to zero, and the End point's Y coordinate to 1.

12c. Once the piece is correctly mirrored, check both the "Fuse opposite sides" and "Fuse paths" boxes to erase the center line. If the center line is still present, increment both X values by 0.01 until it disappears. Then, from the drop down in the upper right corner next to the trash can icon, select "flatten" to merge the two into one continuous path. Save your progress. Repeat this process with the seam line.

13. Lay out your pieces. At this point, we can be done in Inkscape, and the .svg file can be imported into LightBurn. However, you can do all of your layout work ahead of time in inkscape so that there is no work to be done after importing.

13a. Set your document size to your laser's bed size. Go to File>Document Properties or press Shift+Ctrl+D to change the document's width and height. At this point, you may want to save an extra copy of your document so that you can prepare multiple layouts if not all of your pieces will fit on your bed at the same time.

13b. Read through the pattern's Cutting Instructions on FreeSewing to make sure you're cutting the correct quantities. To cut multiples of a piece, first select the highest level Group of the piece you want to duplicate to make sure all parts of it are selected, then press CTRL+D to duplicate it. Use the Select tool to drag the duplicate out from under the original.

To create a Mirrored version of a duplicate, press M to flip the selected object horizontally. Make sure that you remove any marks that shouldn't be duplicated-- in yuri, the button hole only goes on one of the two front pieces.

13c. Rotate and move your parts to fit them inside the laser's cutting area and reduce fabric waste as best as you can. Remember that we already arranged the pieces with the grain line running the same way, so make sure any rotations are done by 90 degree increments for normal wovens, and 180 degrees for stripes. If your fabric has a clear right-way-up, you may not want to rotate any parts at all. Save your progress.

14. Save as an .svg, and import into LightBurn.

[cotccotc]

SKZ REACT to...

 ✰ you coming out PART 2 !!

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by anon ♡ )

genre/s: ot8 reaction headcanon, gn reader, platonic, fluff & humor

wc: ~1.3k

warning/s: descriptions of coming out as non-binary, brief mentions of gender dysphoria, my dumb commentary once again (hehe), these are just my opinions and ideas !!

a/n: i reference the first version of this reaction a few times and i recommend reading it first !! i got some really sweet responses to the original so i hope y’all like this one too :) OH ALSO i should mention that i decided to make it platonic since i found that easier and more natural to write.

✰ CHAN

i feel like even if he already knows a bunch about gender identity, non-binary and genderqueer people, dysphoria, pronouns, etc. he would definitely enjoy you giving him a full rundown on it !! and specifically what your interpretation is and how you identify

BEST LISTENER EVER !!!

do you remember that vlive where felix is talking and chan’s just sitting back and looking at felix with immense amounts of love in his eyes? yeah…

he’d be so. incredibly. proud. of you.

idk why the chan portions of these reactions have both been super sappy but anyways-

he’d be very dedicated to using your preferred pronouns and finding new ways to compliment you !!!

his google search history would most definitely include “genderless adjectives” and “enby dad jokes” and he’d keep a running list on his phone

chan: “what do you say when your non-binary friend is sad?”

you: [dead silence]

chan: “their, their....” [giggles]

KSDFJ

✰ MINHO

my first thought is that he’d be the type to ask for your new pronouns and immediately use them in a sentence.

for instance, say your new pronouns were xe/xem. he’d immediately say, “well, i’m very proud of my y/n, and i love xem very much.”

so then i’d start crying in the background.. blah blah blah omniscient narrator struggles :’)

i can’t see him being anything but casual and accepting !!

if you want to talk about things, he’ll most definitely let you, but if you don’t want to he won’t push.

but regardless, he just wants you to know he supports you in whatever way he can.

would also politely correct people if they misgender you in public !!! he wants you to feel safe !!!!!

i saw him as a wingman in the other reaction but in this context he’d definitely serve as your personal information pamphlet for people who you might not know too well.

random person: “what exactly does that mean?”

you: “it-”

minho: “WELL ACTUALLY-”

✰ CHANGBIN

just like in the first version, he’d get pretty emotional !!

i think he would really sympathize with you even though he can’t fully understand what you had to deal with externally or emotionally.

honestly that would probably make him even MORE emotional.

the fact that he can’t fully relate to those complex feelings would really tug at his heartstrings as he listens to you speak. he really wishes he could understand your struggles more, and maybe even take on the burden for you.

but let’s get less emo, shall we?

ok picture something with me bestie:

first, he casually refers to you using your new pronouns in a group conversation.

next, after the topic changes in the conversation, you look at him while the others continue talking.

this mf WINKS and flashes you the silliest smirk

you let out a little chuckle and you both continue on in the conversation

[end scene]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH anyways-

✰ HYUNJIN

i feel like he might question his own gender identity a little as well sometimes, especially due to what people say online (like calling him “pretty”, the edits some people make, praising him for breaking stereotypes, etc.)

so, he probably understands a bit deeper than some of the other members might.

in that same vein, i think it might make him a little bit emotional to hear your story !!

over the years, i think it’s plain to see that he’s become more comfortable with expressing his more feminine attributes, which has always comforted you as his friend.

he understands the feeling of being uncomfortable with the gender roles one is expected to follow, so he empathizes with you.

in terms of his actual first reaction, i think it would be pretty similar to what i suggested in the other version of this.

(my bias is showing but oH MY GOSH I STILL THINK THIS WOULD BE SO CUTE-)

“woo~” *insert little jazz hands here*

…

[cries] anyways-

you feel really comfortable coming to him with this, and you’re happy when you do !!

✰ JISUNG

maybe it’s because i’ve seen tweets about it, but i feel like this dude knows everything there is to know about modern gender identity topics and neopronouns and stuff

after the initial awkwardness of the conversation (and a big supportive hug ofc) he’d be stoked to talk about it !!

would ask for your pronouns right away !!! he might also do the thing where he uses them in a sentence.

“y/n !!! ze’s so cool !!!!!!!”

i think if he saw someone misgender you (by accident) he wouldn’t correct them for you out of in-the-moment nerves, but he’d be very proud of you if you do it yourself !!

might buy you a snack afterward tbh

but if HE ever misgenders you OHHHHH goodness gracious

HE WOULD FEEL SOOO BAD AH

EVEN IF IT’S LIKE.. THE NEXT DAY

he’d get so very embarrassed and apologetic SDKFJ you’d have to really assure him that it’s not that big of a deal since he’s still adjusting to things, but he’d still feel like he has to make it up to you in some way

would probably buy you snacks again LMAO

✰ FELIX

i think he would be really excited !!

we know felix really loves and is passionate about androgynous/genderless forms of expression, especially in regard to appearance, so he’d probably really enjoy talking about gender and stereotypes with you !!

(if you’re comfy with it, ofc)

honestly, felix would be really encouraging and would help you gain more confidence !!!!!

if you ever feel like trying out a new look, he’d be like “OK BESTIE LET’S GO SHOPPING”

tbh he’d probably try it out with you !! or if you hang out often, he’d probably subconsciously start finding inspiration in your style and adopt it a bit himself

on days where you feel a bit down for whatever reason, especially in regard to dysphoria, his first instinct would be to cheer you up by reminding you how unique and cool you are.

and it’s not just because you’re nonbinary but also because you’re just a super cool person !!!!!!!!!! and i think so too !!!!!!!!!!!! never forget it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so overall, i feel like felix wouldn’t be very hard to come out to once you get over your initial nerves, and the end result would be super fun :D

✰ SEUNGMIN

i think his initial reaction would be pretty similar to chan’s !!

he also seems like the type to be super, super diligent with adjusting to whatever pronouns you feel comfortable using or words you’re okay with him using to refer to you.

(maybe it’s because we know he was a good student and he’s diligent with practicing his english. training his brain to correct itself would be like studying for him lol)

for example, instead of calling you “pretty” or “handsome,” he might even try simply pointing out a part of your appearance that he thinks looks especially great !! something like your eyes, your hair, your outfit, etc.

your hair looks great today, btw. anyways-

aside from that, i think he would just try to be as courteous as possible without making a big deal out of things.

and if he ever slips up with your pronouns, descriptors, etc, he’d be super quick to apologize and correct himself before keeping the conversation going like normal !!

there’s just generally a lot of mutual respect all around :)

✰ JEONGIN

this is somewhat similar to my other version of this reaction, but i think he’d just be really intrigued and a little shocked

IDK WHY I KEEP THINKING HIS ABILITY TO GAUGE THESE THINGS IS SO BAD DKFJ every time i think about someone coming out to him i just can’t help but picture him being like “reaLLY??? since WHEN”

still, something deep within my soul is telling me that jeongin would truly think you’re the coolest person on the planet.

being as he can’t personally relate to this, jeongin would be pretty psyched to hear about your journey to finding out !! kinda the opposite reaction to changbin lol

honestly he’d be a super good listener !!!!

he’d hear you out for however long you explain things to him, and if you ever get a bit emotional, he might smile at you or reach out to hold your hand :’) or both :’’’’’)

then, when you tell him your preferred pronouns he’s like “oH okay !! coOL !!!” lmao

so, he understands the concept and is super happy for you but he just didn’t really expect it !!

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[axemetaphor]

im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

[pike-the-monstah]

alright, so this is the silliest post i’ve ever made, but i think i will elaborate on the somnovem/bugsnax au, actually

(praying that tumblr doesn’t fuck up the readmore because this got long)

the au takes place in a world that’s a bizarro blend of both series, shortly after some version of the iron shepherds arc. please do not question anything about the logistics of this world, because there are no answers. molly dies, but for whatever reason, the mighty nein don’t cross paths with caduceus just yet. cree has been following the mighty nein a lot more closely in this au, so when the mighty nein visit molly’s grave on their way home, it’s already empty.

the tomb takers are on a mission to spread bugsnax to the rest of the world (instead of the somnovem)a. lucien, newly revived (god knows how that all went down), works with cree to rebuild the tomb takers and locate snaktooth island, while the mighty nein set out to track down molly. eventually, the tomb takers find their way to snaktooth, and once the mighty nein learn where the group has gone, they put together an expedition to follow. 

their recruits:

shakaste, cali, and keg are obvious choices, as previous allies. i’d throw nila in there too, but, given how her mini-arc ended, i think the m9 would probably want her to stay with her family

reani hasn’t met the group yet, but she’s been receiving visions from samliel telling her of a great danger on snaktooth island. she’s already been searching for a way to get there, and happily joins up with the mighty nein.

essek also hasn’t met the group yet, but, like floofty, essek has somehow gotten whiff of the possibilities of the place and is intrigued. he’s looking for a way to get there that isn’t outright suicidal, and joining this group seems convenient enough.

and finally, the last member is twiggy- just like in canon, they meet her when she stows away on their ship.

(also yasha sticks with the mighty nein in this au, to find out what happened)

the gang arrives on snaktooth island, and at first, things are fine. this is early campaign, though, before a lot of character growth for everyone, so cracks quickly begin to show. it all comes to a head in a big fight that leads to most of the group going their separate ways, and this is where caduceus comes in.

caduceus serves the newcomer/pseudojournalist role, and he has probably not been having the best time. like in canon, the wildmother is pretty fucking concerned about this place and seems to want him to do something about it, but, unlike in canon, he doesn’t have the mighty nein to travel with. it’s not the easiest journey for anyone alone, and, of course, it ends with his airship crash-landing in the middle of a storm. he does, however, meet fjord and jester.

fjord and jester vaguely take on filbo’s role in this au- when the group split, they stayed in town, and are doing their best to bring the village back together. in the middle of the storm, they witnessed the crash, and hurried up to flavor falls to find the airship’s (former) occupant. pretty weird way to meet someone, but, after a bit of exposition, they enlist caduceus’s help.

on their way back to snaxburg, they meet keg in the garden grove. keg is not exactly good with difficult social situations, and the one that led to the group falling apart was a clusterfuck. now that things have calmed down, though, they manage to convince her to return, although probably after some wambus-style “get revenge on that annoying bunger” quests. they also run into shakaste here, but i don’t think he ever really left town- he honestly seems too level-headed.

the five of them reach snaxburg, and the quests to reunite everyone else begin:

caleb and veth are living in the simmering springs. even though their attachment to the group solidified after molly’s death, the transformative powers of the bugsnax and the possibilities for veth(/nott) were too tempting not to investigate. they maybe went a little overboard experimenting, though, leading to arguments with the rest of the group, who grew increasingly concerned and alarmed at what the pair were doing. caleb and veth left the village to continue their studies in peace, but, since they haven’t been having much success, it’s not too difficult to convince them to return.

essek is nearby in the boiling bay for similar reasons, and he, caleb, and veth formed a loose Science Collective in their time away from the rest of the group. this is early campaign essek, though, so he’s still kinda keeping to himself, and it takes longer for him to agree to come back.

cali and twiggy are in the scorched gorge. while investigating the island, cali found evidence of a past cult of the caustic heart presence (if triffany’s grandma and grumpbeard can both have inexplicably died on snaktooth, then so can a member of the cult of the caustic heart lmao), and left the village to investigate. i genuinely think twiggy and cali would be very fast friends, and with everyone going their separate ways, twiggy found someone to stay with rather than stick around for all the fighting. once a caustic heart artifact is located and destroyed, both are willing to come home.

reani is living out in the sizzling sands. the thing about reani is that, due to her dreams, she’s probably the first to suspect the real nature of the island, but, due to the canonical mind-warping powers of bugsnax, reani has a very difficult time convincing anyone else. this is early in her character arc, too, when she has a very strict view on morality, and as much as she liked everyone else initially, the others refusing to stop their bugsnax experimentation/consumption/etc would probably cause some friction. it takes the gang working through some shit for her to return later on.

beau is up in sugarpine woods. pre-kamordah, she’s still struggling with the “leave them before they leave you” mentality, and when the group fell apart, she went yeah, fuck it, guess that’s all i get, and bolted. now that everyone’s coming back together, though, they’re able to convince her to return.

and then, finally, yasha is the eggabell equivalent in frosted peak. as the group started to fracture, she felt they were all losing sight of the real goal of the trip, and did her early campaign yasha thing and just left. like eggabell, she’s been pushing herself hard to find molly, and she refuses to return to snaxburg until he’s rescued.

so the gang is all reunited, character growth takes place, interpersonal conflicts are resolved, and they even make progress on finding molly. great! too bad the volcano’s about to blow. yasha figures out how to get the door open, and the group splits up to defend the town and investigate the undersnax.

and in the undersnax, they discover lucien. turns out that when the tomb takers made it to the island, all of them were consumed except lucien, who managed to take control like lizbert. in a way, this was his plan- take control over the island to bring its powers to the mainland- but he’s struggling. the bugsnax do have mind-warping abilities and are fighting back, so it’s taking him longer than expected to achieve anything (which, despite the natural disasters, is sort of keeping the gang safe, since the island is focused on another threat). the appearance of his old friends destabilizes him even more, and shit starts to really go sideways. part of his mind starts to say, hey, if he lets the island win just a little bit and consume this group, then he can send them back to the mainland as patient zero(s), right? surely, now that he’s in power, they won’t just crumble to dust like the rest of the tomb takers, and he can remain behind to rule the island as a god. all he needs to do is let the island have what it wants, which, right now, is to go full aggro on the mighty nein.

so the bugsnax attack, beginning the “escape from snaktooth” sequence. the gang probably fights some giant monstrosities similar to not-cree, and there’s plenty of opportunity for parallels to gaining eye tattoos during battle. and for sentiment’s sake, right at the end when their airship is about to be knocked out of the sky, a little bit of molly returns just for a moment, and he fulfills lizbert and eggabell’s role as last-minute savior for the rest of the gang.

they all escape but, given who they are, i imagine it’s just to regroup before returning to solve the problem once and for all (and probably to see if that little bit of molly can be rescued in the process).

misc details: au is pretty ship-neutral but, yknow, maybe beau was following yasha up into the mountains, just a little bit. it’s probably also more ensemble-focused than the game, as opposed to the video game logic of caduceus just running around doing everything for everyone else. also, heavily considered a mighty-nein-never-met version of the au where journalist!beau investigates the island as an expositor, but ultimately, this version felt like it had stronger reasons for everyone to be there in the first place.

[polzkadotz]

Asas reread their fics - ftayc - part 4

And we’re back to rereading this fic!!!! last chapter i reread was the 7k monster of chapter 3, and this one... oh. Oh, this is also 7k?

wowie

if you want a spoiler to interest you, here we go lmao

we begin with this author’s note bc I don’t think I ever really talked about it here on my tumblr???

It was sort of my first time being recommended, really. I had noticed that my hit count had gone up substantially and I couldn’t understand it, but it was nice??? and then i found the post on the library and I was like Oh. I See.

Whoever it was that recommended me, thank you. Seriously.

But enough mushy-wushy, let’s tackle this giant.

We begin with this exchange, which...

I was trying to be funny and this still makes me smile so at least I amuse myself lmao

Neil needs to free himself of the plot device I pulled out of nowhere and he taps into his reserves of power that he has hid away for, basically, forever. One thing that I wish I had made more clear, which was basically the vitriol going through my mind as I wrote this fic, was that Neil had been cutting himself of his powers and how powerful he was for a fucking long time because

1) he bought into his mom’s reasoning that his father was simply Not Someone They Could Face and Win

2) he had made himself fit into a mold that would “make him survive” but, by doing so, he basically chained himself to a fraction of the three-dimensional person he used to be, which made meeting Jean and finding out that he had become a pet god for a human even worse because Neil could see all the ways they were similar but Neil had been doing that shit to himself voluntarily.

Originally, when I thought about making Neil a god in this fic, I did think about modeling him out of an existing god but also, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to make him be someone who was struggling with letting himself be what he was with his full-potential. Someone who had been cutting himself back for so long he had basically lost whatever sense of personhood he used to have. Someone who had started to get tired of cutting parts of himself and forgetting what he used to be so he would survive for--

What? Survive for what? Neil eventually realized he hadn’t been a person for too long and as long as his father was alive, he would never feel safe to be.

Now that I think about it, Neil was very much me working through my own shit about trying to live as myself at the same time that I had different versions of past me struggling with the person I was becoming. The person I wanted to be.

Anyway, back to the story.

There’s a throwaway paragraph where I sort of tease that Andrew’s dragon is becoming "hungry” and it was basically me trying very hard to foreshadow that the priest thing was going to happen lmao

After battling for two paragraphs against the thought of creating a new priest, Neil gets them back on track to go as far away as its possible for both dragons flying.

Nicky tries to get Neil to talk about the god thing, and I like how I made it clear that even being reminded that he had been a god was something conflicting to Neil.

And then we get to the part where Neil suddenly remembers that he has a lot more money than what he had previously said in the first few chapters, but who cares about plot consistency, am I right? Does it show that this fic was edited hastily? Because I can guarantee that it was :3

They stop in Mumbai, I think (the place is not important for past Asas and honestly... can’t say that’s changed lol). Nicky tries to get Neil to talk more about being immortal and stuff. Neil gives a bit of backstory, as a treat, and Kevin reveals what he knows, as a threat I guess lmao

I kind of imply that Neil only had one priest, which... I remember is not what I put in the sequel.............. so I do recommend you reread your fics before writing a new piece, wink-wink

OH MY GOD I MADE NICKY ASK WHY NEIL’S ENGLISH “WASN’T WEIRD” AND THEN I REPLIED WITH A SENTENCE THAT WAS BASICALLY STRUCTURED WITH PORTUGUESE GRAMMAR AND SOUNDS VERY WRONG IN ENGLISH

Asas... my god, Asas.

Anyway, after a lot of questioning, they eventually go to sleep and, when Neil wakes up from a nightmare, he has his daily fairy tale dose from Andrew, who’s also awake. I gotta be honest, I don’t even remember that fairy tale but it explains the Aaron, Andrew and Tilda.

After everybody wakes up from their naps, they go to their last destination: Tokyo.

Wait lemme check:

when did they leave Mumbai in my story?

when did they reach Tokyo?

yeah, that math totally checks out.

Whatever. As they arrive in Tokyo, Neil splurges even more money on a hotel for the whole crew, even though they had been pretty not nice to him as a whole lmao. But! The boy believed he was going to die, so what was he going to do with all that money?

Nothing, so he programmed an email to be sent to Andrew with the info for some of his bank accounts and fucked off to try and find what his mother had stolen.

Neil gets on a ferry that will take six hours to reach the island where is the volcano that his mother had made him hide his father’s immortality. Neil got nekkid because he wanted to have clothes when he got out of the volcano, you know?

(Also, yes, I’m gonna ignore the other time inconsistency from his travel inside Japan, I was very much pressured by the whole “got recommended on the library” okay, you can judge me through those lenses)

Unfortunately, for him, he wasn’t alone when he finally climbed out of the volcano.

Fortunately for him, this Ichirou Moriyama doesn’t want his father, who is very much interested in becoming immortal, to actually become immortal. Neil explains the whole immortality thingy (I found some typos and honestly? I shan’t fix them. It adds character) and Ichirou subtly kicks Neil’s clothes closer to him, which... I get it, my guy. It’s kind of difficult to have an intimidating conversation when someone’s bits are out and about.

As they are trying to hash out their problem -- as in, Neil’s father told them that Neil’s immortality would be viable to cure Kengo --, Andrew appears blowing his ball of flames onto both of them, and Neil uses his powers to create a pocket that repels the fire, so it doesn’t touch him or Ichirou.

(Why didn’t he use those powers on his clothes, as well? Dunno, don’t poke at my plot too much or it will definitely crumble right into your face, you’re gonna inhale too much dust and die from fandom toxicity, AND THAT’S NO WAY TO REACH A GOOD DEATH)

btw:

Neil, my dude. The dragon thought you were in danger? Chill out???

Neil rages for a few seconds but quickly turns that into a situation to ask Moriyama for his protection against his father, since Neil just technically saved his life.

Oh, and if you think “Uhhh, why would Neil even believe that Ichirou would keep his word?”

Don’t worry, I gotchu:

Ichirou agrees with the deal, for plot reasons. Since he got a deal out of it kind of easily, Neil thinks, “Wait a minute. If I give my father’s immortality to this Moriyama, literally passing the hot potato around, then the Moriyamas won’t be after me for an immortality, my father probably won’t be immortal and come after me as the death machine he used to be and I might be able to use it to free a certain god????”

So Neil uses his father’s immortality to bargain for Jean’s freedom, and he doesn’t wait for Moriyama’s response for that one. He simply hops onto dragon!Andrew’s back and they fly away into the... sunset? Sunrise? Don’t ask me, I clearly can’t keep track of the time passage in my fics.

And this is the end of the chapter!

Let me say something that I hope will be quick: this chapter felt much better written to me then the other three. It’s shaky in places, definitely, and it could’ve gone through a more severe round of editing, but I can certainly feel the positive outcomes of the pressure I felt after my work got a shout-out. This fic had been pretty much geared towards myself, so writing about the world-building wasn’t my focus at all in the other three chapters. In this one, I try to at least explain some concepts I came up with which???? Go me??????

I still wish I had taken the time to work on this entire fic to make it as close to what I had in my head, but in a comprehensive form for the attention that it got, you know? I mean, from the ashes you crawl is still my most everything -- most kudos, hits, comments, bookmarks...  It deserved so much better but also... I like that it feels rough? I like that it can clearly help to contrast the growth of my style or whatever?

It was written after a long, long writer’s block, and it only got edited and posted because I decided to participate in an event for a different fandom and it got me excited about writing again.

Anyway, I’ve talked too much. Here’s to hoping I can contain myself in the next posts lmao

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6

[chikkou]

as a 15 year old who is into homestuck rn, your post was interesting! every once in a while i do feel like i missed a reference, but for the most part i feel like i'm getting the experience. i am insanely curious though: what could have possibly been going on in the fandom that inspired the trickster arc?

first of all im glad u liked my post!! i honestly just got really into my thoughts and i had to share it…. im a fake deep hoe LMAO

now to ur question! its a VERY gud one… but unfortunately the answer is kind of troubling. essentially, the short answer is “kids who were pro-social justice.”

to expand on that, u may need some background. homestuck during this time (2013) had a notoriously garbidge fandom, which was well known for being full of infighting. homestuck drew a lot of different fans from a lot of different backgrounds, and it caught on really well with kids on tumblr in the age range of 12-18.

during that time, social justice was getting really popular online, so i can safely say that most of the kids that were homestuck fans were also in support of sj. those who werent were usually intensely anti-sj, and rejected any notions of it, especially where homestuck was concerned. that might seem unrelated, but it actually plays a big part in a lot of problems that came about later on.

one of homestucks biggest positive points was the kids being aracial. hussie made it explicit in tweets and such that the kids were intended to be without race, so readers could fill in whatever they wanted. fan artists really liked that bc it meant they could draw the kids however they chose, and it would technically be canonically accurate. thats a very difficult thing for a webcomic of all things to do, so it was exciting to have the ability to make the kids super diverse, in any sense of the word! 

unfortunately, the problem with this is that a lot of those fan artists were still making all the kids white. it didnt help that, in early pages, there were references to the characters being white (specifically bro, though if memory serves, john is also referred to as white), and much of the official merch also depicted them as white, like as the tarot cards that were released a few years back. even though hussie claimed to be dedicated to the aracial concept, there was a lot of pretty damning evidence that suggested he was really just depicting them as white.

pro-sj fans hated this, because even though the kids were TECHNICALLY aracial by the comics standards, it was clear that a bias was there. anti-sj fans defended the comic with their life against that criticism, saying it was the authors choice, and all sorts of similar things. that problem wasnt made any better by the introduction of kankri, a clear parody of Those Awful SJWs and a character which made it seem like hussie was siding with the anti-sj fans after all. at the time, i remember people trying to excuse it away by saying that kankri was an affectionate parody, or that it was only targeting Bad SJWs, or any other sorts of justifications.

it all came to a head in the beginning of the trickster arc tho, which, if you werent aware, originally had jane say this. it didnt help that he then went on to have ALL of the alpha kids appear in the same skin tone, and later made a tweet (that has since been deleted) saying that all of the trickster characters were white. it became pretty clear that the trickster arc, for all that it does contain some plot relevant stuff, was really just an excuse for hussie to isolate and mock the people that made up the majority of his fanbase.

though at the time i didnt fully understand that, looking back, it was a pretty swift knee to the gut for fans whose main reasons for enjoying homestuck had to do with the aracial aspect. on top of that, it was insanely audacious for hussie to even do something like that knowing that he was targeting a pretty sizable amount of his readers. to this day im not entirely sure what possessed him to do it. 

naturally, though, there was a MASSIVE backlash, and people were fighting about it for days. a lot of people i knew at the time stopped reading homestuck because of it, and those who stuck with it but dropped it later on cited the trickster arc as the reason why. it got so bad that, soon afterward, he edited the page to the version thats still up, which says “peachy” instead.

the racial aspect aside, even the stuff that happens in the arc proper is pretty clearly based in stuff that was happening amongst fans. in the arc, all the tricksters (except dirk) want to marry each other and have “a zillion babies.” it was a pretty clear joke about shippers in the fandom (especially since the arc ends with dirk and jake breaking up, and they were a fan favorite couple until that point). 

lastly, the fact that the arc just skips to the kids being in their respective moons, waiting to go god tier, seemed to be (in my humble analysis) a response to people who complained about the slowness of act 6. the trickster arc speeds the events of the story up considerably, to the point that we dont even see the path they take to get to the moons. they just. end up there. super hungover LMAO

but yeah tl;dr the trickster arc, or the handling of it anyway, was mainly a means of making fun of the pro-sj fans who rightfully addressed the fact that homestuck was failing as an “aracial” story, since there was a clear bias in favor of the kids being white. said mockery bombed spectacularly, cause, surprisingly, making fun of ur target audience is a bad idea. 

[toraonice]

Final Yuri on Museum report

So, the other day I finally completed my 6th visit to the Museum and listened to the secret audio guide. As I don’t think my impression of the Museum will change any more, I’m writing a short extra report of what I think about the whole exhibition after going there 6 times.

The post has no “spoilers” nor details about the conversations in the guides so it’s safe to read even for people who are planning to visit. I will only post “spoilers” when the Museum is over and (hopefully?) the no-spoiler rule is lifted. 

I have already made a few posts about “how to visit/buy tickets”, so if you’re looking for that kind of information check out the last few posts of my blog!

After writing the first report I was asked whether I would write which audio guides I liked the most. Here is my personal ranking: 1) Victor & Yuuri 2) Yuuri & Yurio 3) Victor & Chris 4) Yuuri & Phichit 5) Yurio & JJ

I am leaving out the secret one not to give out hints, but I liked that too. It was... interesting.

Yuuri & Yurio’s guide was really cute. It’s not like they “act cute”, but they are cute together because you can understand that they are friends even if they bicker. And Yuuri & Phichit are really “longtime best friends”. If you want to listen to something that heals you when you go to the Museum you should probably choose one of these two. If you are tired I would not recommend Yurio & JJ’s because it will probably tire you more, though it is amusing... It actually managed to be “more JJ” than I expected. Victor & Chris’ was hilarious and kind of “R-rated”, but it also had some interesting serious parts. You can feel that Victor & Chris are also longtime friends, but their relationship is clearly different than Yuuri & Phichit’s. Victor and Yuuri were... Victor and Yuuri. In the audio guides you are basically a visitor who kind of follows the characters through the Museum, and in some cases they will speak to you, like to explain things about their skating programs. In Victor and Yuuri’s case, you may as well introduce yourself as “hello, I’m here to play gooseberry”.

I am actually planning to go to the Museum again (as if I haven’t already given them enough money, lol) to take pictures at the kiss & cry display with a friend, and I will probably listen to the Yuuri & Victor guide again so that I can take some more notes when I get home for whenever the spoiler ban is lifted.

Except for the first time (it was the second day and it was super crowded) I always visited the Museum late at night on weekdays, which was really nice because we were always less than 10 people and it was very peaceful. Thankfully enough all the pictures except a few (like the new picture of Yuuri, Yurio and JJ on the GPF podium) have been turned into merchandise, so the ones who can’t go can at least take a legit look at that and hopefully it will dissuade people from sharing pictures of the areas were photos are forbidden. There are no released pictures of the costumes, but to be honest they probably look much better and real if you look at them directly. Considering how much time and money they must have spent on them I’m pretty sure they will display them again somewhere, though I guess it will probably still be in Japan. Apparently they are considering touring Japan with the Museum, which would be nice at least for all the people who do live in Japan but cannot come to Tokyo. Taking them abroad would probably be very expensive.. (Having worked in the forwarding business I have experience with shipping mannequins for exhibitions and it’s not cheap)

Highlights of the costume mannequins: -The mannequins themselves. They have been as careful as to make all the mannequins different in size and body build, so you can not only take a look at how the costumes would look in real life, but also at how they would look on the characters if they existed in real life. Except for Otabek I guess, because no matter how you look at his mannequin it’s basically as tall as Yuuri and towers over Phichit and Yurio (he’s between them) while he should only be 3cm taller than Phichit.. Maybe they ran out of mannequins? -Yuuri’s FS costume is a remake, not the same one that was displayed at previous events and at the Chacott cafe. It should be closer to the anime version. -Chris’ mannequin definitely has something stuffed in the crotch. -If you are a hardcore figure skating fan you can probably make out not only the skate brands but the blade types too, as you can look at them quite closely. -The different physique of Yuuri & Victor’s exhibition mannequins. They are standing next to each other so it’s very easy to compare the differences. They really paid attention to everything... The size of their legs, thighs, arms are different, the muscles on their chests, even the throat and collarbones area!! (They don’t have heads, only up to the neck, but still the throats are different!) I don’t know what those golden decorations on their chests are called, but Yuuri’s are more loose and U-shaped, while Victor’s are almost a straight line because his chest is wider. And of course they have golden rings. Their EX costumes were only shown for a short time in the anime so it’s a nice occasion to see how they are made, though I wish we could see the back side better too (you can’t go behind them). Victor’s normal FS costume is alone in the Victor area but he’s also against a wall so you can’t see the back either.

There’s also an “Easter egg” in the Victor area... On the wall on the left side of Victor’s FS costume mannequin there is a small hole. If you look inside... there is actually something. It’s nothing like new art or new information, it’s just random but it’s still amusing that they made that. I don’t know whoever had the idea of actually looking inside that hole the first time... 

Staring at the new art of young Victor (which everyone has probably seen by now thanks to the merchandise so I can talk about it) I noticed that he actually seems to have more muscles on his chest than Yurio? Probably also more than Yuuri had at his age. Looking at his full body too, he doesn’t seem to be as lithe as Yurio, which makes me think that even if Yurio grows taller (and he likely will) he will probably be more slender than Victor, not as muscular, so he might still keep a different jumping style. Also, this is very random, but young Victor for some reason reminded me of Mao Asada in her late teens... (I wouldn’t even know how to explain why)

I could finally smell Victor’s cologne, though they probably don’t spray it as much in the late evening as in the day because it’s not that evident.. (I have hopes for the 4DX screening of YOI though, lmao) In the evening the staff only stands there to check on the statue, so if you want them to take a picture of you with Victor you must ask them yourself (the first time I went the staff was offering to do it themselves). In the kiss & cry area there is usually no staff so if you want someone to take your picture you would need to ask a random visitor.

The first time I went to the Museum, in the room with all the genga art they had a screen showing pages from the Setting Material Collection. However, a few days later it apparently changed, and now they are showing the genga of some animation sequences (Victor removing his sunglasses and winking at the Worlds in Yoyogi, Phichit jumping in his SP costume, Makkachin about to jump on Yuuri in episode 1, Nishigoori uncovering Yuuri’s belly when he was chubby, Victor skating to Hanarezu ni Soba ni Ite, and I don’t remember what else). So that’s worth taking a look at too!

Lastly.. just a note regarding “spoilers”. I am aware that some people have been ignoring the Museum’s requests and posting detailed information about the audio guides. I myself had to stay away from Tumblr because I was scared to be spoiled about the secret guide before I could listen to it... I can’t force people to keep quiet, but what annoys me the most is that there is little respect for the ones who do not want to see spoilers. It will probably happen whenever the YOI movie is released in theaters too, and it’s kind of sad if Tumblr turns into a spoiler minefield for people who can go watch the movie but not on the first day. There is a “keep reading” feature, so it’s actually easy to hide spoilers and let people choose whether to look at them or not.. Anyway, I dislike spoilers myself, so rest assured that this blog will always post spoilers hidden and with a warning.

[cooljazsheepie]

Webcomic Creator Interview with Kosmic of Feast for a King

Hi, all! I usually don’t post my webcomic creator interviews on this account, but this one is special since the comic is explicitly NSFW. The creator, Kosmic, is super awesome though and deserved an interview anyway. Check it after the cut.

Me: Please introduce yourself.

Kosmic: My name is Kosmic and I make two comics currently, Feast for a King and Eggshells. Although I mostly focus on Feast for a King! Which is a really graphically violent/sexual story about man eating worms in a sci-fi setting. I started it in September 2014 and I’ve basically been working every day on it since then.

Me: What made you pick sci-fi?

Kosmic: I’ve always really loved sci-fi stuff!! Many of my favorite stories/movies are sci-fi or have some robot/alien elements to them. I think it’d be more accurate to say that sci-fi picked me because FFAK was inspired by a dream I had which had some very strong sci-fi elements and visuals. I think at the time when I started FFAK, I was also feeling really inspired by the first two Terminator movies and wanted to like, take the elements about that i found successful in those movies and include them in my own story! I liked how much the characters struggled and how hopeless it felt to face their enemies, but they kept going anyway despite being so afraid. I also had a bunch of stories/characters I worked on sometimes that was really just my own version of Trigun that I didn’t know what to do with and just...felt like building on more of that type of world. I think I first started those characters in like 2009 but they were basically just back-burner ideas for something eventually. I got a lot of story material like that!!

Me: Do you have a favorite part of the creative process when you're working on your comic?

Kosmic: Favorite part of he process...That is kinda difficult. There are so many parts that I enjoy that blend in with each other, it’s hard to determine when one step begins and the other ends. Brainstorming with music is always really nice, especially if it’s in the afternoon and I don’t have any responsibilities to worry about. I do a lot of self RP too. I can go anywhere in the story I feel like and just let my mind explore freely!! Its always very fun/exciting to discover things I didn’t expect or when some connection suddenly clicks that opens up new doors of ideas! SO.. daydreaming is my favorite part, I suppose. That feels kinda basic to say, but I can’t think of anything that tops it!

Me: Nooo. I totally get what you mean. Just letting ideas come to you is the best! You do color and black&white comics. Do you prefer one over the other?

Kosmic: I don’t really like the look of colored comics for the most part, honestly. I find it way too mentally distracting and I find it often takes me out of the story by making me too aware I’m reading something. So, I generally prefer the look of B&W comics when I’m the one reading. However! I personally find it boring to do for too long if I’m the one working!! I hate doing the same stuff for too long and black/white communicates a certain type of atmosphere to me, so after a while it can feel kinda stiff or limited when I don’t...really need to be?? I used to be determined to only use B/W ONLY EVER!!! and now I am allowing myself the freedom to experiment using some aspects of color to communicate my ideas and not worry about a consistent look too much lol. I sort of feel like my comics fall somewhere in the middle because they obviously DO use color but aren’t like  the ‘typical’ full color comic, I guess? I dunno. That’s how i interpret it anyway. I am breaking my own rules of what looks good!!! If I had to make a decision, it would still B&W over color. :3

Me: Do the colors you pick have a certain significance for the characters? Like I know you have several named after them and the worms are colored by status.  

Kosmic: Yes! Totally. They are super important! I have a whole color lore or color language I have built in the story. I dont really focus on like...every color in the rainbow though. Its mostly with basic default-y colors of Red/Yellow/Blue + Green. Red and Green being the most important ones I use in FFAK. I reflect a lot on their dynamic and parallel in several different ways with various designs and narratives, Crimson and Celadon’s relationship is also meant to be a direct translation of that conflict and bond I see with those two colors in the context of the story as well. Red and Green is like the ...PURE EXPRESSION OF LIFE AND DEATH!!! or something.

Me: For your worms, do you choose certain animals for them or you just go by whatever? Like how Paper is a bunny.

Kosmic: Nah, I mostly go by whatever and many worm designs are just improvised on the spot as these weird...animal chimera things. Paper is sort of an odd one out because she’s specifically very bunny-themed.

Me: Do you have a favorite character?

Kosmic: Crimson’s my absolute favorite character!! However... Knife is also very important. I guess he’s a close 2nd. I just have put a staggering amount of work/history into both characters they both kinda stand out a little bit from the rest lol.

Me: I know you said to just read whatever, but how does the use of gender shape your comic? As a creator.

Kosmic:  I suppose it shapes a lot and yet it...doesn’t? IDK, it’s difficult to explain cause I think gender is a broad topic and I’m not sure what parts to focus on with it shaping? Haha. Most of my characters are just self-inserts really. It’s not really a conscious thing that I feel like I need to fit a quota of or something. I just sort of naturally feel the need to articulate feelings about my experiences using the characters sometimes. I also generally use my comic as a safe place to explore my thoughts about identity and sexuality. It makes the comic really personal/vulnerable/stressful sometimes, but I also feel like I understand myself a little easier. As much as I reflect on it I don't really have a concise answer or reason.. it’s just part of life! So there it is!

Me: Do you find that you attract or put off readers with the sex? Like do people expect a hentai situation? Or ignore the warning and get mad about it?

Kosmic: Yeah, it definitely rocks the boat a bit. I get a lot of polarized reactions from my sexual content. Mostly it’s supported and people understand and respect what I do with it, but I have definitely received negative comments or like, people feeling betrayed it was included at all. (Nothing upset people more than that period sex scene in chapter 11 for example .) It’s also often described as a vore fetish comic which I also...have mixed feelings with LMFAO. It just feels really misleading and simplifying the narrative. I think the fact that I include genitals in my drawings [means] people get the impression it’s supposed to be a smutty hentai comic, but then when they read it isn’t that either. So it’s hard for people to determine what it is. It pushes buttons, I guess. good and bad.

Me: Who is your intended audience or do you not have one?

Kosmic: I don’t really have an intended audience!!! I just draw it as much for me as possible. :D

Me:  What made you decide on making a webcomic?

Kosmic:  I’ve been determined to make comics since i was like...13 or 14? And webcomics are very freeing!! You just post it and go!! Nothing can stop you from making your story how you want and I love that.

Me: Do you have any advice for other creators?

Kosmic: Advice is tough... But I suppose it is important to establish your boundaries between yourself and the audience. Your enjoyment and relationship you have with yourself and your art is what is most important. So be careful not to burn yourself out on what people will think/say/ask and it’s OK to feel overwhelmed and over-stimulated sometimes. Even when it’s positive attention, it can still be just as stressful and draining. I find that’s the hardest part about making a comic is learning how to deal with the reception rather than making the comic itself lmao. So yeah! Draw and write what you want! Always. But also give yourself a private place only for you, so you can reflect on your journey. :3

Me: That's great advice. Do you plan on making a print version?

Kosmic: My friend Cameron made Chapter 1 into a book and mailed it to me as a surprise. But besides that, I have no actual plans or real desire to make a printed version.It seems like it would take a lot of work to do and I’m very lazy. Maybe some sort of art book would be more ideal, but who knows!

Me:  Will you be attending any cons or making any merch?

Kosmic: I went to one con in 2015! I sold like...a single poster I think. It was fun (especially because a friend from Canada was staying and helped tremendously with it,I also got interviewed the first time there!) but not exactly the ideal experience. Another friend also made keychains for me of the characters that we sold online. But, besides that, I don’t have any cons planned. I want to make t-shirts in the future, but I’m so slow to do these things.  I just really need to take the plunge, but I generally get intimidated by money making stuff!!

Me: Do you do art full time?

Kosmic: Yes LOL. FFAK is basically my life. I do educational/instructional flash animations as well for the monies, but I am pretty broke most of the time. If it weren't for Patreon, IDK what I’d do!! I am so thankful for it.

And that’s it. I already linked Kosmic’s Tumblr profile, but you can also follow them on Twitter for personal or comic updates! If you have any comments or questions, feel free to post here or submit an ask. If you would like to be interviewed for your own comic, contact me here for explicitly NSFW content or over on my literacy blog if your work doesn’t have content restrictions that make it NSFW. Please also feel free to suggest artists for me to interview.