#the fucking crocs in the hall man this is hilarious
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roaringroa · 2 years ago
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DHASULJKDHASIUDHASDAS MY BROTHER SNEAKED A GIRL IN THE HOUSE AND WE FOUND OUT CAUSE SHE LEFT HER CROCS OUT IN THE HALL LMAOOOOOOOO
#i'm having such a blast yall don't understand DASIHDBASLDHNAS#he is a VERY RESERVED MAN!!!! he has NEVER introduced someone to us or brought them here (at least not when we're here)#so i was eating dinner in the kitchen when my mom got home and she went up to me and asked if i bought crocs recently#i was like no??? why are you asking that???#and she said cause there are crocs in the hall (where we leave our shoes when we go inside the apartment)#i was so confused so i went there and there they were#white crocs with like 4 of those little pins and they were girly pins#we both looked at each other like ????#so we went to ask my brother and while on the way i said these are kids' crocs#i thought some kid from our apartment complex left them there#but then she knocked on his door and asked if he was alone and he said no#so me and her ran back to the kitchen while laughing hard SBDSLADASDA#this is fucking amazing yall#he is so private about his dating life like he's not bad looking and the one time he brought his friends over last year they were teasing#him about someone so i knew he must date ocasionally etc#but he never introduced us to someone so it must not have been serious + he keeps to himself when it comes to that so we don't bother him#so for him to bring this girl home ON A RANDOM THURSDAY WHEN HE KNEW EVERYONE WAS GONNA BE HOME????#my dad is at a meeting but still he'll be home soon#the fucking crocs in the hall man this is hilarious#tomorrow i'm gonna go over to my other brother's house cause i absolutely need to tell him this in person#anyway poor girl idk if she's still here#my mom went to her room and i'm still in the kitchen cause i didn't wanna go back to my room since it's wall to wall with his#and we wanted to give them privacy to get out without getting mortified#hope she gets home safe and doesn't feel too embarassed lmaoooo#maybe it's because i just watched business proposal but it really felt like a scene out of a cheesy kdrama or something lmao#my post
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chokefriends · 6 years ago
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Pit-town Strays Ch.1
Kidlaw softness and redneck shenanigans in a northern mining town. Everything's fucked but whatever.
Rated T, no warnings, or just general warnings for setting-specific social ills and violence (racist cops, shitty parents, etc). Someone ordered wholesome kidlaw family feels? well HERE.
[Ch. 1] - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5
Read on Ao3 too, I’m Ossicle
“What the hell are you going to Pit-town for?” Bellamy chewed at Law with his mouth open, a smarmy sneer on his pasty face.
“None of your business.” Law scowled, turning his eyes away from his brother’s ground-up breakfast. He shoved a random pile of coursework into his backpack.
“Well I know what kids like you go up there to do. Everybody knows.” Bellamy drawled on, like he knew shit about anything besides scamming beer and shooting bottles at the quarry.
“Don’t make assumptions, idiot. I’m just babysitting.”
“Why?”
“It’s called a job? You should try it,” Law suggested primly. “Feet.”
Bellamy lifted his feet off Law’s pile of textbooks. “Why, though? You got that big scholarship, I seen the letter when it came in.”
Law frowned at him. “How did you…”
“Well it was just there, so I read it. Why don’t you move out, if you got all that money? You hate it here so much.”
Law waved this matter aside. “I owe that money to someone. Give me the volvo keys.”
Bellamy didn’t move his stupid stumpy self from the ancient recliner—prized spot in the basement space the three brothers shared. “No, I need it, I’m meeting up with some guys later to go down to the quarry. Dad said I could.”
“Bellamy, I need it to get to town. Just gimme the keys.”
“Well I need it to pick up little ladies! You can hitch, right?”
Law didn’t bother arguing. He sighed through his nose and slid his feet into his severely ratty sneakers before heading out into the yard.
“Don't tell Dad where I am or I'll tell him about your girlfriend!” Law called on his way out.
“Obviously,” Bellamy muttered.
The ancient volvo wasn’t feeling cooperative today, or Law was having a lapse or something because he couldn’t fucking hotwire it. He slammed his fist on the dash and took out his phone. It was an oddly summery fall day—not too cold to walk or bike—but his shoes were getting thin in the soles, and Law didn't like asking his dad for little stuff like that. Didn't wanna be such a burden all the time.
He scrolled through his messages and sent a couple off to see about a ride. But Robin (who'd suggested the job) was teaching, and Baby (sweet, bitter Baby) was already in the sauce.
BB: i cn still come tho? you real stuck?? big bro awwwww im sry
You: Nono dont go driving if youre partying it up, Ill hitch a ride I guess
BB: Where?
You: Just into town
BB: Where in town??????
You: The Pit.
You: or whatever.
BB: LAWWW NOOOOOOOOooo jus kidding lol no judgement here
BB: id sell it on weekends too if i were pretty liek U
You: I’m not selling my ass!!!
BB: Lol
BB: sure
BB: why else ndn boi hangs w miner trash? Shady.
You: Lots of reasons, including a babysitting job. Don’t make assumptions.
BB: “babysitting”” “””job”””’
You: Yes.
BB: God ur sheltered
BB: shltered bebe in u nice rich house
BB: don get picked up there, pit-town piggies love ndn bebes
Law pocketed his phone with an eyeroll and started walking down toward the highway.
Once he’d found a ride and gotten dropped off, it was a twenty minute walk from the highway to the Pit. Law ended up climbing over the bare, rocky hill behind the truck stop, cuz his phone’s map had the place all wrong. On top of the hill, he could see the Pit in all its glory laid out before him.
Pit-town was the weird little enclave where the town’s mine workers were housed, in tar paper houses as outdated as the mine itself. The tangled machinery of the refinery loomed just beyond the houses, and above all that, the smokestacks. White smoke drifted from their peaks, as high above him as the clouds. Nothing except low bush berries grew around here—it was like an outpost on the moon.
Law went down into the village. Men with tattooed arms watched him from pickup trucks, and women smoking in lawn chairs whispered. Half-feral dogs barked and circled.
“Ya lost, hun?” one busty woman called from her front step as he passed, and her friends chuckled.
“No…” he mumbled back, and hurried on as they all laughed.
He was flustered and out of breath by the time he got to the address, on the other fucking side of the whole village. The house was like the rest: a single-storey bungalow on a small plot of land with a car port full of dead appliances. There was a little pink bike lying on the front step, and a short dog chain attached to a pole in the middle of the bare yard. A deep trail had been trod in a circle around the pole but there was no dog in sight. Law went up and knocked lightly.
He stood there for a few minutes, feeling the neighborhood eyes on his back, before trying again. He knocked a little louder. “Hey, um. Hello?”
A harsh voice called, “YEAH IT’S OPEN.”
Law tried the door. “No it’s not?” he called back.
“YEAH IT IS JUST KICK IT AND TURN THE THING AT THE SAME TIME.”
“...No, definitely not open,” Law assured him after trying every kick-turn combination.
“AH FUCK.”
“Yeah.”
“OKAY, CAN YOU JUST BREAK IN?”
“...What??” Law was almost offended.
“I’M DOING A THING, CAN’T GET THE DOOR RIGHT NOW, JUST TRY SOMETHING.”
Obviously Law could break into stuff, because his shitty little brothers thought it was hilarious to lock him out of the house all the time. And because their father thought it was prudent to keep things like Law’s ID in a secure location. Law didn’t think that skill set was a great way to start this ‘job’ thing, though… He looked around at the prying eyes across the street and they flitted back behind their blinds. He sighed.
The lock was just one of the doorknob ones, and the jamb didn’t have a guard on it so it was easy to get a credit card in there. The door swung open and Law stepped into a cluttered hallway.
“In here!” the big voice called from down the hall.
“I here!” a little voice added.
Law navigated his way carefully, stepping over baskets of laundry, unreturned empties, and sealed up moving boxes. Something obnoxious was playing on tinny speakers in another room. He rounded the corner into a sweltering little kitchen that seemed like the only clear spot in the house.
There was a very tall redhead with a face full of piercings sitting at the kitchen table in his boxers, and a much smaller redhead in a frilly blue bathing suit beside him. They were painting their toenails black, with their feet up on the table.
The bigger redhead seemed really shocked to see Law. He almost toppled backward on his chair. “H-hi! Uh! You’re Native.”
Law blinked. “Yeah. Um. You’re naked.”
“I’m Nami!” announced the little girl.
The guy was pretty much naked, by Law’s standards. Also kind of jacked… Law could feel his face heating up and was glad that it didn’t really show on him. The man sitting there in his boxers was pale as a fucking ghost, though, and so his sudden flush was super obvious. He rushed to recover from that intro.
“I don’t mean like, ‘oh, you’re Native.’ Well, obviously you are, heh, but I don’t mind or anything!"
“Yeah, uh.” Law nodded helpfully. “I don’t mind either, that you’re… naked.”
“Kidd is a naked...” Nami sang to herself.
“I'm not even,” Kidd protested. “I'm just hot as hell. Aren't you hot?”
“Am I??” Law was completely lost.
“Not—! I mean, yeah, but you're in a hoodie? Aren't you sweltering?” Kidd clarified.
“Oooh. No, not really. I like to keep covered up,” Law explained, picking at a fraying sleeve. He supposed it was weird to be wearing jeans and a hoodie in this weather, but no weirder than wearing Crocs in public, like people here seemed into doing.
Kidd was distracted by Nami painting patterns on her feet with the nail polish. “Fuck, Nami, stop, we just paint the nails. It’s messy, see? MESSY.” He took the tiny girl and sat her on the counter instead, then went about cleaning up the table. “Sorry about the door. Can’t go anywhere with wet toenails, it smears like hell.”
Law nodded harder and went to help him. “It’s cool, I know how to break into stuff. I mean I don’t usually! But your door was easy. Not that I’ll do it again!”
“Not a problem… uh, Kidd. I’m Kidd. Hi.” The guy finally got his head together and extended a hand. His fingernails were painted black too. He had a really firm grip.
“Law,” Law replied in relief.
“And this is my sister Nami,” Kidd jabbed a thumb at the toddler perched precariously on the counter. “She’s a fucking psychopath.”
Nami ignored them, sticking towels into the toaster instead.
“You have a dog too? I saw the chain outside.” Law wondered.
“No, Dad took the dog with him. And the fuckin car…”
“Your parents are both working?” Law asked, and immediately regretted it. God, he really was sheltered.
Kidd blushed again and started stacking dishes.
Law rushed to clarify. “Or, ‘parent'? I only got one too—a dad. I'm adopted though, and my birth parents are both passed, so.”
Kidd was wiping off each dish absently under the running water, not really cleaning anything. “We got a dad and mom, they’re just… not around right now. So it’s just us! Which is better, believe me.” He growled the last bit under his breath.
“Oh, got it.”
“Anyway. I didn't wanna ask someone to come all the way here to watch Nami, but that bitch down the street won’t take her anymore because of lice or property damage or something, and I got an interview today. I’ll prolly find another illegal daycare somewhere around here if I do get this job, though, heh.”
“Yeah don’t worry about it.” Law tried not to seem squeamish at the mention of lice.
“If they do take me I’ll be starting right away, so I might be out til pretty late,” Kidd warned him. “I’ll pay you for however long you’re here for though.”
“Sounds good. You gonna work at the mine?”
This seemed like another sensitive issue. Kidd looked away and muttered, “No… you gotta be 21, and take all these courses and stuff. And anyway, like HELL will I end up in the fuckin pit,” he finished with unexpected heat.
Law was saved from having to come up with a response by Nami blowing up the toaster outlet. The kitchen appliances all blinked out.
“FUCK! Again…” Kidd rushed to pick her up and sit her back on the table as a loud dryer beep sounded from the bathroom. “And fuck, there’s my pants. Listen, can you grab a fuse from the drawer there and stick it in? I actually REALLY gotta go, like right now.”
“Yeah of course!” Law watched the strange redhead duck through the kitchen door and pick his way down the obstacle course hall to another door.
He pulled his eyes away from the muscled back and onto the little girl, who was… eating nail polish.
“You!” Law scolded her, and put her in a chair. He grabbed the few towels that weren’t burnt, and tied her to the aluminum frame. “Okay, eat cheez-its while I fix this.”
Law had got the new fuse screwed into the panel and the nail polish off Nami’s face by the time Kidd came back, dressed in clothes that didn’t seem like interview clothes to Law: heavy duck pants and steel-toed boots. He grabbed a duffel bag that was sitting on a box stack, shouldered it and then stood looking at Law.
“Uh,” Kidd was blushing again. It was kind of amazing to see this tough blacklung brat acting so unsure. “If I come back really late maybe I could bring something? To eat? And we could eat it here?”
“Yeah, that'd be good.” Law shrugged like he didn't mind either way.
“KFC?” Kidd suggested.
“Oh I don't like breaded stuff. Fries are good, though.”
“Chinese?”
“I'm trying not to eat MSG actually…”
Kidd tried to think. “So what do you eat?”
“Mostly sushi.”
“I didn't know there was any sushi places in this shit town,” Kidd admitted.
“At the college there's one. Uh, but whatever you bring is fine, don't worry about it!” Law reassured him.
“Okay. Well, see ya.” Kidd made his way outside, yelling at some hovering dogs to git!, then started swearing. “Aw fuck, Nami's FUCKING bike…”
“You trip on it?” Law poked his head outside.
“No,” Kidd was looking at an empty front walk. “Fuckin kids took off with it again. I'll just go punch their dad in the throat later, not a big deal.”
“Holy,” Law commented mildly.
He watched Kidd pull a frankenstein-ian motorcycle out of a side door and roar away on it. Then he looked around to see if anyone had caught him looking. He was just sending a good glare at the prying eyes across the street when he remembered that he was babysitting. He returned to the kitchen where Nami was sitting once again on top of the table, drawing circles in a nail polish puddle with one finger.
“Your brother is an entire entrée,” Law informed her.
She didn't reply, intent on her craft. But she objected when he tried to pick her up. “Nooo!”
“No?” he put her down.
She glared at him, a tiny girl of no more than four, ginger hair in little pigtails and her frilly blue bathing suit spotted with nail polish.
“I'm Law,” he sat down so he was at her level, and introduced himself. “Lawww.”
“Law...” She appraised him solemnly for another moment and then seemed to deem him acceptable. “I’m being a witch,” she confided in a whisper.
“A witch?”
“Yah.”
Law sat back in the chair with a laugh. “My girl! Let's talk!”
Law had the kitchen scrubbed to his own exacting standards in short order, having secured Nami firmly to a chair (with duct tape and towels this time).
She was starting to nod into her cheezits by the time he'd finished, and Law figured it was nap time. He went to review the rooms along the hallway, looking for a baby room. He couldn't figure out the logic of the place, though. There was a largeish bedroom, which seemed to be the source of the stale smoke smell, mostly taken up by a tacky king bed and Seinfeld DVDs. It clearly hadn't been used in forever. He closed that door. Then there was a smaller room that might've once been a child's room, decorated with glow in the dark stars on the ceiling and complex Lego structures piled in one corner. It was stacked floor to ceiling with file boxes and covered in dust too. Another small room seemed to be Kidd's hideout, though the bed was just a box spring covered in laundry and books. There was a guitar and practice amp, and a desk piled with half-dissected old laptops. Law resisted the urge to snoop, and closed the door.
He went back down to the other end of the hall, past the front door, where the narrow corridor opened into a small living room space. A couch and a single mattress were neatly made up into beds, in front of a large TV that seemed like the only new thing in the house.
“I want a Kidd nap.” Nami had somehow gotten out of the duct tape high chair and was at Law's side, rubbing her eyes.
“Okay? In the big bed?”
“You're silly,” she accused. She went to lie down on the couch, pulling a fuzzy blanket over herself.
Law went to sit next to her. He gestured down at the mattress on the floor, with its orange and blue comforter and many fuzzy cushions. “Is that your bed? Don't you wanna nap there?”
“No,” she explained patiently, eyes already closed.
“Right, obviously.”
He watched her shuffle and sigh her way to sleep.
“I could've had a sister,” he murmured, partly to her and partly to himself. “I mean, I do have a biological sister, but I didn't grow up with her. I think it would've been nice, though…”
Nami was already asleep when he looked over again. Easy! Law totally had this babysitting thing in hand. He pulled his stats assignment out of his bag, and got down to the real work.
Nami turned out to be a pretty chill baby, as well as being an utter terror. She mostly ignored Law, preferring to go about her little play tasks uninterrupted, with the TV playing in the background. “Being a witch,” she explained whenever Law asked what she was doing.
“Keep it up,” he encouraged her, turning back to his own work.
He quickly learned, though, to keep an ear out for silence, because she was probably blowing shit up. Law found her building a fire in the oven, then making what he was pretty sure was mustard gas in the toilet.
“How’d you do that??” He took the bleach from her and she threw a mild fit before toddling off to the next game.
By the time Kidd returned, Law was just sitting in a kitchen chair with his stats assignment disregarded in front of him, watching the four-year-old expertly jimmy the makeshift lock he'd put on the knife drawer.
“More twist on the lever,” an amused Law recommended.
“So this one's being a psychopath huh,” Kidd entered and threw his duffel bag on the table.
Law corrected him.“Um, she's a witch and a prodigy? She made several deadly potions with cleaning supplies today."
“Oh jesus now there's two of you.”
“One more and we got a coven.”
“Great. Nami, it's like 11, why ain't your ass in bed?” Kidd growled at his sister, who ignored him.
“She went down for a couple hours, but kept getting up when she heard a car go by. And I couldn't get any pajamas on her,” Law reported.
“Yeah she won't take the bathing suit off unless I bribe her. She's big into being a ‘mermaid’ this month, on top of being a witch.”
Nami had gotten the knife drawer open and was feeling around in it with one chubby hand.
Kidd scooped her up. “No knives.”
“A knife!!!”
Law shook his head and smiled. Child after his own heart. “What's she want a knife for?”
“She's been trying to slash my tires lately, so probably that. It's usually pretty funny to watch, but yeah, not at bedtime. Eh, Nami?”
“I WAN A KNIFE! A KNIFE A KNIFE A—”
Nami stopped and stared at the chocolate coin Kidd was holding up. She grabbed it and wiggled out of his arms. They followed her to the living room where she was stashing her prize under the couch.
“Holy, she's got a hoard,” Law gave a low whistle at the cache of foil coins and random shiny things.
“Yeah I think she's more dragon than mermaid,” Kidd commented.
Nami lay down in her floor bed, where she could see the glittering pile.
“I got food, if you wanna…?” Kidd nodded back toward the kitchen.
“Is she good here?”
“Yeah she pretty much puts herself to sleep, just leave WrestleMania on for her. She likes the noise.”
They went back to the kitchen, and Kidd turned on a thing Law had thought was a smashed toaster oven reconstructed with safety pins, but which turned out to be a radio. Kidd gestured to a bag on the table, and Law unpacked it while the redhead fiddled with the receiver. It mostly seemed to be picking up country music and static.
“Can almost get that alt rock station with this thing,” he muttered, “probably just needs another coat hanger.”
“You went and got sushi??” Law pulled out several little plastic containers.
Kidd’s back was to him but Law could see his neck and ears going red. He kept fiddling with the dials. “Yeah, whatever.”
“From all the way at the college?”
“Yeah. Whatever.”
“...I think that radio is using you as an antenna,” Law observed, changing the topic.
Kidd snorted and let go of the screwdriver-dial, and the radio went to mostly static. “Faboo. Maybe it wants a piercing too.”
His face had returned to a normal color under all that metal, and he joined Law at the table. Law offered him the dragon roll and took the sashimi plate.
The chopsticks were an obstacle.
“Do you stab it?” Kidd glared at the sushi and the two little sticks.
“No, look at my hand: hold one like a pencil, and the other one loosely—”
“I stab it.”
“Don’t stab it, hey, you’ll ruin the integrity of the roll shape!”
“Hm,” Kidd chewed his mangled piece. “Tastes like salad.”
“Here.” Law scooted over a chair. He took the chopsticks out of Kidd’s fist and rearranged them. Kidd’s hands were large and rough to the touch, and the scent of sweat and gas clung to his clothes. The sudden impression of body heat and machinery smacked Law right in the back of the brain.
“I’m gonna say this is finger food,” Kidd decided.
“Yeah,” Law agreed automatically.
“Yeah, fuck this. Want a beer?”
Law hated beer. “Yeah. I mean, whatever.”
Law sat and nursed the beer with determination, trying to pay attention to Kidd's animated take on government surveillance vans and Nicolas Cage. His brain was getting fuzzy really fast, though. He was such a fuckin lightweight.
“He’s not an actual human person, is all I’m saying. You seen his face tryna do face stuff?” Kidd argued, crunching his second beer can and tossing it in the bin across the room. "Nother beer? Hey, you’re not even done that one.”
“Tastes like bread,” Law noted distractedly.
“I guess. You don’t like Bud?”
“I liked the first movie,” Law hiccuped.
Kidd laughed like a fucking hooligan, and Law had to laugh too. Normally loud laughs grated on Law's ears, but he decided he liked this one. It wasn't mocking or cold; just big.
Kidd shook his head with a final chuckle and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Me too. Sooo uh, what you studying at the college?”
“General science right now, thinking I'll go into the pre-med stream,” Law answered right away. “Or maybe something more research, less clinical… uh. Or you know, like. Whatever.”
Kidd actually seemed interested. “Yeah that sounds awesome. I always wanted to go into engineering, but pure research would be cool… You um. Doing some math, there?” He looked over at Law's assignment, abandoned on the table.
“Stats. The bane of my existence. Don't stare at it too long, it'll put the bleed on your brain.”
“...you're stuck, huh?” Kidd glanced over again.
“No.” Law sniffed. “I'm considering it from many angles.”
“Okay, man.”
“Oh, like you know anything about sample sizes and shit.”
Kidd shrugged, but the line in his forehead deepened. He cracked another tallboy.
Law gripped his own beer can in the uncomfortable silence that followed, and then downed the rest all at once.
“Nother,” he wiped his mouth and Kidd raised an eyebrow but passed him a fresh one.
“Git it in ya.”
“Mhm.” Law took a deep swig and almost fucking barfed. “Sooo… you make that bike yourself huh?”
“...yeah,” Kidd's face lost the put-out look and split into a grin. “Or whatever, I just added some stuff and changed other stuff… actually, it's…”
That got another good long ramble out of the redhead, full of startling laughter and crass parallels with female body parts. Law wondered idly if Kidd was actually familiar with any female body parts, or whether this was just how people in Pit-town talked.
“Hm?” Law sat up straight, realizing that Kidd had asked him something. His brain was definitely all swimmy now.
“Or I can give you a lift back now. It's a long way to the Rez.”
“I'm not from the Rez, I live down the highway. I can just hitch my way back, it's not a big deal." Law looked at his phone—after midnight.
Kidd was giving Law a look, like he wanted to say something about that, but then grunted and downed his beer instead. “Here, for today,” he said, taking an envelope out of his pocket and pushing a few folded bills into Law's hand.
“Thanks.”
“If you're free tomorrow I'll be working again at noon. And like I said, you can stay here tonight if the trip out is—”
“Oh!” Law felt his face heating up again. “No, I gotta get home. My dad's gonna kill me as it is. I'll come back tomorrow, though, okay?”
“Okay! Or, whatever, good.”
“Yeah.” Law stood and started stuffing things back into his backpack. “Okay see ya tomorrow.”
Kidd gave him a flippant salute and cracked another beer.
Pulling on his sneakers at the door, Law felt a little tug at his pant leg.
“Law, you are going to go?” Nami worried.
“Yup, gotta go home.”
“Law, you won't be here if you go,” she started snuffling.
Law picked her up and put her back in her bed. “I'll come back tomorrow. Okay?”
“No.” She hid under the blanket and kept snuffling.
He hesitated. “I have to go.”
“She’ll get over it in a minute,” Kidd told him from the doorway, leaning backlit against the frame with crossed arms. “It's better not to draw it out.”
Law looked at the little lump among the cushions and shrugged. He stood to go.
The redhead chewed at his tongue piercing and watched him. “Okay, I don't wanna be weird about this, but like. It's the Pit. And you're... You know?”
Law wasn't getting it. “I'm...?”
“C'mon, you stick out. And it's really late, and it's just past check day, and… it'd really just be faster if I gave you a ride.”
Oh, fucking chivalry or whatever.
“So I'll put my hood up,” Law dismissed this.
“It’s the Pit, though,” Kidd said again.
“... See you tomorrow.” Law left without drawing it out any further.
Law got halfway through the village before someone pulled up next to him, apparently to offer him further unwanted courtesies.
“Looking for a place to stay?” the man offered.
“Just heading home,” Law deflected.
This didn't seem to be the answer the guy wanted, and he followed Law in his pickup at very close range, until they got to the village limits and the end of the street lights. Law gripped his phone in his pocket. He heard the truck door slam just as he went to detour off the road between two houses.
Law tried not to back away as the guy advanced. “I'll call the police.”
“I am the police,” the man pointed to the badge on his belt.
"Shit..."
"And you're trespassing."
Law held onto his phone, a harsh roaring steadily growing in his ears. The smart thing would be to play dumb and helpless so he wouldn't fucking get shot, and just hope someone came by… but the man went to grab him and he panicked just as the roar peaked. Law snapped the fist holding his phone into the man's temple, and it made a loud crunch. A couple more frantic strikes sent the pig down in a confused pile of limbs.
Well he'd fucking done it now. Maybe he could run before—
“Oohhh shit, haha,” someone commented.
Law glared over at Kidd, who was sitting there on his noisy rat bike, peering at the man on the ground.
“Hi?” Law crossed his arms.
Kidd scratched his neck. “Saw him drive past after you left, and figured… yeah. I was just gonna come and like, bam! Do a drive-by with a crowbar. But that Rocky shit was actually way cooler, haha. Is that a brass knuckles phone ring?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah…” Kidd considered the lump on the ground. “Kay, well. Can I drive you home now?”
“...” Law really, stubbornly wanted to refuse.
“Just so you can see how Marlene here rides,” Kidd patted the motorcycle. “Did I tell you I built her?”
Law's tension cracked and an incredulous laugh bubbled out. “Yeah. You told me. She's a beauty.” Kidd passed him the helmet and Law slid into place behind him.
“She’s a rubber-tit, chain-smoking old blacklung biddy, fuck yeah she's a beauty. You can ride her all day and night, she don't get tired.”
Law had been wondering how he'd get all the way home like this without popping a boner, but that mental image cleared it up.
“Uh,” Law gave the unconscious cop a guilty glance, “should we get this guy somewhere…?”
“Oh, I'll just call his wife to come get him, I guess,” Kidd snorted at the pathetic pile and took out his phone.
“You know him?”
“Everyone knows everyone here… hold on a sec. Hey, Mrs. Kyle? Yeah I just seen Kevin going off tryna fight that goose again.”
“Fuckin what??” Law snickered.
“Yeah, Cobb Road. Looked like he'd taken a good one on the head already. I dunno who taught that thing to make a fist. Yeah, anyway. Yeah, bye.” Kidd hung up, nodding to himself like that was it.
“No one's gonna believe that shit,” Law objected.
“Oh the goose? That's real, the thing's a monster. I think they should just shoot it but there's a pool on who'll defeat it in hand-to-hand combat.”
“...okay. Sure.”
“It's the Pit,” Kidd explained again.
Kidd tied a bandana onto his face as a windguard, and they pulled out of the village and onto the highway. It was fall but the air was warm and smelled like tar. Law held onto Kidd's waist and directed him by patting his arm and pointing. The smokestacks receded behind them, though the tar smell lingered on through the treeless landscape. Eventually Law signaled for them to stop.
Kidd pulled off the highway and stopped just under the lone streetlight at the turnoff. He looked around. “This is just a carpool lot. I might as well take you all the way home, right?”
“Nah, my Dad's already gonna be pissed that I'm out this late. If I ride up on a bike smelling like booze… yeah.” Law passed him the helmet and dismounted. “It's not far from here, I'm good now.”
Kidd was still processing the first part. “Aren't you in uni? You still have a curfew?”
Law shrugged. “He's strict. He just worries. Though, yeah, he's nowhere near as protective about my fuckin brothers so—”
At that exact moment Law's brain registered the whine of a familiar car, and he had to grip his bag to keep from bolting. He relaxed slightly when he saw it was just the Volvo.
“Hey Lawnboy,” Bellamy chuckled, leaning an elbow out the window.
“Hiii Law,” a gawky, sharp-eyed girl chirped from the passenger seat.
“Monet, my dream girl,” Law flirted mildly, leaning on the door frame. Monet giggled and Bellamy scowled.
“That your ~boyfriend~?” the blond troll mocked, jabbing a thumb at Kidd, who tensed and sneered.
“Yeah,” Law shot back.
There was a pause.
“Really???” Monet scrambled to get a good look at them both. Bellamy's face went slack with shock.
Kidd stuffed his head into the safety of his helmet.
“What're you doing?” Law questioned the helmeted Kidd.
“He's shy!” Monet squealed. “Ahhhh you guys are perfect!”
“Are you blushing?” Law tried to flip up the mirrored visor and Kidd held on stubbornly, shaking his head.
“Law, bring him to Hawk's place with us, I'll make youse guys’ drinks!! I got sourpuss and peach schnapps!”
“They're not coming to Hawk's,” Bellamy told her sullenly.
“Shut up Bellamy. Law, you guys coming?”
Law demurred. “Gotta work tomorrow, Monet-fique. Nother time.”
“Aw.”
“See you at home, Bellyache,” Law dismissed his pouting brother, who scowled.
“‘Babysitting’, huh. I'm telling Dad you're hoeing it up in the Pit,” Bellamy threatened.
Monet punched him in the shoulder. “Oh my god Bellamy no you're not. Later, Law! Byyye, strong silent boyfriend!”
Bellamy took his cue and screeched away.
Law turned back to Kidd, who was still hiding under his helmet. “Sorry. That was my brother. It just seemed like the best way to get him to leave.”
Kidd gave a slight shrug.
“So. See you tomorrow?” Law shouldered his bag.
Kidd nodded.
“Thanks for the ride. And for dinner and stuff…”
“Yeah it's whatever,” came Kidd's muffled voice.
“Oh yeah I mean, whatever.” Law started off down the road.
“Uh…! Thank you too, for… coming...” Kidd called after him a few steps later.
Law stopped and looked back awkwardly.
“...And for being chill about Nami's issues, and the house, and dealing with that creeping fucker… You don't have to come back after that crap. And if all this is gonna get you in trouble with your dad anyway,” Kidd offered in a nervous jumble, as Law wandered back over and stood there, feeling suddenly sad.
Law had had his share of sweet goodbye kisses under this streetlight, when he'd been a little younger and a little less worried about everything. He kinda really wanted another like that right now… But Kidd was holding onto the helmet on his head like a life preserver. And a kiss seemed like such a shallow, wrong-headed kind of assurance to offer against all ‘that crap.’
Law leaned in, and bonked his forehead lightly against the glossy helmet instead.
“Well, pick me up tomorrow, at the highway. So I don't gotta risk crossing the goose,” Law shrugged too, like it really was all just whatever.
He couldn't see Kidd's face but he could see his heaviness lift.
“You got it, Cap.”
The scruffy redhead leaned into his bike and the road, and became a fading engine roar in the dark. Law walked home slowly.
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