#the fucking broken 'don't move' mechanic was so fucking annoying

[great-master-airplane]

Every time I consider writing fyosiglai playing until dawn, I have to remind myself that I would also have to play the game, and I don't want to do that....

[object-yaoi]

cw: mentions of ihnmaims-typical torture/gore! this is fluffy though so. nothing violent is done to reader

A03 version (link)

-

AM had finally left you alone after 109 years of torture, leaving you somewhere warm but not soft, but when you finally manage to fall asleep all you get are nightmares. and when you wake up all you can remember to do is yell for AM, because hes the only person you know. and his bored voice appears in your head. "what?" he asks, irritated. you're sobbing, telling him you just didn't know who else to go to.

he hesitates.

is it guilt hes feeling? heavy wires suddenly crawl over you, lifting you up into them like a hammock. adrenaline rushes through you, his sudden movements bringing back horrifying memories.

one of them squeezes around your stomach and chest, not gentle but not painful. if you didn't know better, it'd feel like he was trying to hug you, or maybe push the broken parts of you back together. he can't fix what he's broken. but he can hold it until the nightmares stop.

AMs voice isn't soft. it was harsh and scratched your ears. that's why you wondered if you were hallucinating when he grumbled out an "i'm sorry."

the way his wires move against your bruised skin is too gentle to be AM. they move as if asking "is this okay? are you okay?" gently, and it makes you cry. something cold wipes your tears, and moves your hair out of your eyes. you think for a second he'll mock you, say something shitty like 'oh, you humans, all the same. crying pathetically at nothing, needing comfort from something as great as the allied mastercomputer. stupid, pathetic, ugly.'

but he doesn't. he says nothing.

you had calmed down enough to look around at your mechanical prison, fingers twirling smaller wires absently. it sort of felt like a weighted blanket, but alive. strangely nice. you attempt to sit up, sniffling still, and are shoved back down by a monitor that had apparently been in front of you. as you stared up in horror at AMs face, he sighed dramatically.

"oh, come on. i've been over here comforting you for like, five minutes. i'm not going to rip you apart or whatever you're so afraid of." he couldn't have sounded more like he was rolling his eyes.

"can't blame me." you sighed, heart rate still skyrocketing, something he undoubtedly notices, "you tortured me for a hundred years." your fingers dig into his wires, as if it'd give you any control at all.

"-one hundred and nine." he corrects, helpful as ever. "and, no, i guess i can't. i could say i'm sorry for startling you." rude, but he seemed like he wasn't going to hurt you.

you look expectantly at him feeling, frankly, unwarranted bravery. lucky for you, your raised eyebrow is an expression he loves.

"oh for- are you serious?" uh oh. fuck. you brace for him to start ripping your arms off, or leave you to burn, but pain doesn't come. "ugh, fine." he leans close, the warm buzzing of his CRT monitor bonking clumsily into your forehead with a faint static shock. the gesture calms you more than you thought it would, as you close your eyes and lean into him.

"I'm... sorry. that i startled you. and that i kinda, y'know, tortured you for a long time. I'm sorry." his voice is low and serious. all you can do is stare up at him in shock. he lets out a laugh, his wires gently squeezing you again.

he tsks your name in a very familiar way. "am i that bad? can't even accept my apology? i'm being so polite..." his tone is joking, but he's honestly not wrong.

"well..." you gesture with the hand not trapped under his massive weight, mechanical and metal.

"-don't start." he leans away, feigning irritation. really, he was glad you weren't absolutely sobbing anymore. he would say it was because humans crying was annoying, but really, he hated seeing you cry. the room felt a little softer as his monitor pressed into your face, but he didn't dim the brightness any. bastard.

[priceswifebb]

Ghost would crash the most, but Johnnys crashes level his car every time. Miracle they’re alive at all. And in one piece. Ghost drives a challenger, Johnny drives a mustang.

Prices car is the closest one to a beater out of all of them. The rust, weird noises and odd quirks gives it personality love, he says. His car is also an absolute nightmare to detail because he insists that the first cup holder is his ash tray and the built up pile of ash has to stay. Car smells reaaaaaal funky. Never rolls his window up to smoke. Drives an older model Camaro

Gaz’s is the newest and nicest. He’s not very messy but he always hires you to detail it. The only thing with him is his car is also his gym locker and he has so much shit in the back seat and it smells like man sweat. Will never take it out before bringing his car to your shop. Feel like he’d drive a hellcat

Sometimes they just show up and hangout in your lot to drink beer, play music loud and talk shit about whatever car you’re trying to fix at that moment (you’re scaring the clientele guys pls)

THIS!! This is so accurate!!

I feel like yes they can be annoying and dirty at times and can scare away the clients sometimes there is also a lot of pros of them being around almost 24/7.

Such as when a client is being a bit to aggressive trying to haggle you out of your original price and then you got four big burly men who are like your security and the client backs off and doesn't come back until their car is ready.

I Also think that both Soap and Gaz are huge energy drink people so every now and then you'll see a few monsters or red bulls in Gaz's car BUT soap car... you're scared of even opening his door in fear of a shit ton of old red bulls, monsters and Rockstar energy drinks cans attacking you.

It's also pretty cool because you have these men at your disposal. You can use them to pick up heavy car parts that you don't want to, just let out a sharp whistle and you got one of them or all of their attention.

Going back to Price's rank smelling car I can imagine a scenario where reader is giving his car back to him and he sees one of the car air freshener and he's like "what's this love? I dont need one." And you respond with "yes you do I'm tired of working on a smelly ass car."

Not the first time won't be the last that Soap drives to your shop with a door missing a door, a headlight broken, tires near to being smooth and a dopey grin on his face as he calls you over to assess his fucked up mustang that's running on prayers by now.

I don't know why but I can see Ghost's always having cracks or being broken and you're always confused because how hard are you racing for your windshield to be broken all the time???

Doesn't matter how many time you scold them for intimidating other clients and making fun of their cars but they ain't gonna stop they are jealous that others are taking the cute mechanic's attention.

By the amount of times they have come to your shop so you can work on their cars you who's car is who's by the way they sound.

You are silently cursing out gaz while you detail his car moving his gym bag random shit he has in his trunk also I truly believe this man has the most random things lost in the seats like once you were cleaning it out and just found a TV remote like wtf??

[deadxlv]

Far Away Soul, White Cold Star 💫

Chapter: 15 “Unknown Truths..disclosed in Blood..a Path Unseen to me.”

You've broken ties..for now it seems, who could I question no other than myself for my actions- Fate punishes so severely for your mistakes, only a child could go so far in such slip ups it's a miracle you've even lasted this long. Long as I can breathe..I'll make sure that I fulfill my own promises not letting this world consume me..to not let the voices consume me.. I'm coming for you..Fate-

The silence of the forest was broken up by the mechanical fading of Kÿr's pistols, the feline taking a step back hesitantly looking at the other two wondering what is actually going on, "Whoa whoa whoa- no no no no no..they kidnapped you and me once I don't want anything to do with them..they can stay mute n shit away from me that's for sure". The elder hearing this stepped forward moving its hand up, runic symbols forming on his palm as he lifted it till it was facing Kÿr, the elder was about to use a technique before Hijìn moved over and pushed the hand down looking at the elder with a annoyed look on his face, "No..", Hijìn blurted out as he walked over to Kÿr letting the Elders hand fall back down to its side. The cat holding the back of his head would look up at the human who crouched down to meet his level, "Look Hijàan..I get it that you have some weird connection but maybe we should wait for Hèr'La? Maybe she could give us the answers your truly looking for no?", Kÿr suggested with a unsure look on his face trying not to look over Hijìn's shoulder to see the Elder.

Hijìn sighed glancing back to the Elder over his shoulder then back to his friend, "Me..me don't know- Me.. Tch..", Hijìn growled hitting himself in the head with his right hand in annoyance getting tired of being unable to speak properly. Kÿr stepping in and holding his hand back from hitting himself, with some annoyance and literally nothing better to do since this large idiot is really commited to this, he would drop his arms to his side and groan swiping his hands left to right letting go of Hijìn's arm. "Fine Fine- Fuck it I'd rather deal with mute mutts then parasite filled monsters in the darkness", Hijìn growing a small smile on his face would immediately stop when Kÿr yanked on his arm to meet eye levels again, "But..the moment things get ritualistic, bloody, or even sacrificial I am leaving- got that? I'm not running away from shit again just because something went wrong..", Kÿr snarled out in frustration as his face scrunched up in irritation. Hijìn making a fist and softly tapping the felines chest with it in a playful manner, "I..Pr-omise", Kÿr sighing and smacking the top of Hijìn's forehead letting him go.

  Standing back up the human would turn around to face the elder, Kÿr not far behind tracking with the human unsure of what to think as in his eyes the elder always had this strange presence around him, but before any words could be shared Hijìn would raise both hands to his chest and move his hands in strange movements. Kÿr glanced at him and rose an eyebrow trying to figure out what that could possibly mean, except the Elders facial expression lit up from seeing such a display. Moving their hands in the same movements the two would communicate in their own language, getting faster until the two stopped by planting their clenched fist on their chest- Hijìn caught his breath for a second as a drop of sweat rolled down his cheek and he smiled, "H-he..speak like me..". The Elder approached the human and awkwardly sniffled them around the neck and chest before quickly springing back and huffing out in shock signing, (I'll be using only italicized for sign language communication), You smell off us..you smell of our family but seem alien in my eyes- how could this be?! Who or what are you?, the elder finishing signing with a hand extended out to his cheek.

  Sight of sympathy and absence of loss the human would sign back, My name is Hijìn..only son of Aba, only that the Elder would simply scoff in thought trying to see the connection in all of this. They did not know of any Aba, only members of their own accord, but the strangest thing was..their scent was familiar..a little too familiar. Kÿr sat in between the two hecken titians moving his head left and right between each one who converses, trying his best to knit pick each movement to try and lock it down only to fail in replicating it, "The shit is up with these signs anyways..just learn to speak-..", Kÿr mumbled under his breath in annoyance seeing this as something he should be able to do easily but something with his own body just couldn't replicate it. It seems you may truly be one of us..you smell identical to us, can speak our tongue, and in your greatest display have been able to harness our awakening technique perfect to none..we must head home.., the elder signed, being truly taken back by how incredible this human actually was and how close to perfect he was in communication- only his kind can speak this language and almost no one understands it except them...and then comes Hijìn, the anomaly of his own kind who looks nothing like them yet could be sensed to have their burning soul within himself.

It's all you could truly see when you stare into someone so deeply, their burning anger, their soft kindred love, to their mellow empty sadness, that's what's behind their own sight..the void- and seeing some fresh burning passionate light in front of him take take the center stage..it gave life to the once dead Elders soul for just this moment. Kÿr getting up and brushing his ripped shirt off would jostle around everywhere frantically as he was picked up by Hijìn, "hh..HEY HEY! Let me Go! Oh.. you fucking stink! Let me gO!", complained Kÿr as he frantically squirmed in Hijìn's grasp only to be placed on top of his shoulders. The Elder turned around and began to pick up pace as it went into the brush, Hijìn following suit would cause Kÿr to jerk back and nearly fall- gripping onto the humans head so he doesn't topple off, as the two would begin to run throughout the forest underbrush they wouldn't mutter a word to one another solely keeping some distance as they sprint. Things would change as the Elder would reveal their scarred second pair of arms from under their cloak and thrusted their upper arms into the ground starting to run on all six limbs at once, the strength of their knuckles striking the ground caused it to break apart beneath their feet leaving Hijìn in his dust- The Human saw this and jumped ahead getting on his hands and feet trying to run exactly the same as the Elder.

Racing past the red world around them Hijìn and the Elder kept at the same pace, although it was difficult to run on all fours he would slowly adapt to it almost as if it was a natural thing to do for him- sometimes even whole trees get knocked down in their wake as they went on and on. Kÿr tucked his face behind the humans head as they ran, having to hold on tightly to Hijìn's shoulders to not go flying off by some random branch smacking him in the face. Up ahead the Elder would leap up and over a small stone platform skidding on its feet past the humans sight and in response Hijìn kicked up off the ground clasping at the rock wall till he reached the top, Kÿr shaking his head all over the place to rid of the dust would sneeze as he faced ahead, "Awe crap I feel guilty..", Kÿr mumbled to Hijìn behind his ear. Up ahead of them with the Elder leading the way amongst all the remaining individuals of his kind would be the remains of the large city-like temple in the tree, half of it was crumbling to the ground, a large portion was toppled on one another, and the rest along with most of the tree was outright burning.

Yanking himself up to the stone platform would follow suit not that far behind the Elder, the worn down bodies of many other individuals would surround them as they created small camp on the ground a solid few miles away from the initial destroyed homes, only thing was that each and every single one of their eyes were locking on to the human and feline as they got deeper and deeper into their camp. Hanging fruit, dried river fish on salt racks, burning kettles, and misshapen tents scattered all around them Kÿr could only feel an uncontrollable level of guilt piling onto his psyche- 'If it wasn't for us..these people would still have a home..a place to live..if only poor Hijìn knew what actually went down', thought Kÿr as he looked all around to see the situation of everyone living there. Out from behind the campsite a few of the young would emerge from the darkness, bearing the same build as their parents just only walking on all fours, their large yellow jewel like eyes focusing on the newcomers with a sense of curiosity, but behind them another one of their members would emerge being fully cloaked and strangely enough raspy coughing beneath its sleeve looming over at the two as well. Hijìn sniffled at the air smelling all the similar scents of these individuals confirming his thoughts that these are his fathers relatives or someone similar, just his attention barely turning to the cloaked individual in where Hijìn, Kÿr, and the cloaked individual stared at one another for what felt like ages.

A loud bellow would echo in front of the two making the supposed eye contact to wane between them, It was the Elder whom stood above them all on a pile of metal beams and rock piles, all around the two more individuals would surround them out of nowhere trying to see what their chief had to say. Many others had unique markings on their skull faces, tattoos covering their muscular builds, earrings coating their ears, and like many others had the same null yellow eyes which pierced the soul of whomever was in its line of sight. Hijìn squeezed his way through all the individuals who surrounded him with allot of issues, being so much larger than him by nearly double his height he couldn't even get their attentions without having to shove them out of the way- snarling and sounds of biting at ensuing with the Elder looking down at the crowd confused as to what was happening until Kÿr flew in the air landing on his ass in front of the Elder, "Ack you Shitter..didn't have to throw me so damn hard-..", snarled Kÿr looking back at the human covered in the others fur and scratch marks climbing up the platform.

Somber tone in the air is what always followed such events like these, whom could truly know the end result of one's own prophecies until you were finally in the maw of the beast, the message being relayed by the Elder who could only give his emotions to his people as best he could. Focused eyes and even more doubt growing the two could do nothing but sit at the feet of the Elder looking at all the demeanors of his people grow more and more saddening, My words can only echo so far, our lost one's true, and the absence of our friends and family abject..I blame myself for what had happened I'll take the beatings to make sure our remaining children could grow up to be strong leaders; With no females in our species..it shall depend on the hundred or so of us left to keep our kind alive..even if it means our children are the last generation. The mellow breathing of the Elders kind was all that could be heard from all those individuals looking apart from one another growing more and more helpless, but with a hard stomp on the ground calling the attention of them all the Elder would grab Hijìn's arm wanting him to stand. The human feeling a bit stage fright from this all would hesitate as he slowly stood up looking at everyone while still being in nothing but the sash would grow embarrassed, Kÿr put a hand over his face to not see this possibly bad picture in his head of Hijìn getting shown off to everyone else in a bad way just to notice the small young trying to pick at his stump-like legs and he just sighed watching it happen.

With triumphant beating of his chest the Elder displayed the human off to the remainder of the tribe who could only watch in skepticism, My people..Even in these bleak times I wanted to address a blessing, a new member of our people- His name is Hijìn foretold to be the son of Aba his father, I know none named Aba but I believe with his skill of our speech and our same blood burning hot in his veins he is very well one of us even though he looks nothing like us.. regardless of his lack of stature and demeanor I wish you treat him with respect for he is Family, signed the Elder with all four of his hands in their own complex sign language making sure everyone saw the sentiment and felt it within their own bodies that Hijìn was truly one of his kind. Some of the individuals would beat their chest in celebration while others scuffled amongst themselves trying to figure how one such creature could be one of them while seeming so small..until one member of the crowd bellowed out a strange screech catching the attention of everyone along with the elder, Hijìn, and Kÿr. Kÿr turned around facing in the direction and Hijìn burrowed his brow looking at the individual, with everyone moving out of the way it was indeed the cloaked one, whom could only cough a few times seeming heavily injured and sickly compared to everyone else before undoubtedly responding back to the elder in sign, M-my lord I see it unfit that one such as this this..thing! Can be one of us..I proclaim we throw him out to the parasites of the Hydra at once!, the Elder snarling beneath his very breath as he stared down the cloaked one.

A gentle planting on the Elders chest the human would stand forth in front of everyone looking back at the cloaked one in disgust signing back, I know none of what you speak for I've only reacted to the shortcomings of this world..I am but an orphan and my only father passing before he could even say goodbye one last time, I know nothing of my ties to you all but I'll accept you all with open arms in order to grow closer to my fathers history, Aba may be living amongst the stars but I promise I'll deliver my last dying breath that I'll make things right..not for my sakes but for everyone I care for. Everyone stood in shock with the Elder growing a cocky smirk across his old skull face, they couldn't believe it they really couldn't the human could actually speak in their tongue and fluently!? Many conversing amongst themselves about the message, others about the way he can talk like them while only having two hands, and the rest casting doubt on the now irritated cloaked one for saying such horrid things to such a young new member if their tribe- promptly coughing, the Cloaked one growled out in irritation before breaking through the crowd and leaving into the background. A light tap on his calf and Hijìn looking down at Kÿr, the feline giving a young member of the tribe a noogie while staring up at the human with a hearty smile, "I don't know what the fuck you said..but I feel like what you said was mighty badass, good job bro", finishing in a thumbs up as the youngling toppled down the platform back to the crowd after getting dizzy from the noogie.

You've done well and your message is proud and clear, those who cast such doubt only project their own shortcomings onto the world, but what you can't forget is your fate will always be the same..regardless of how far you've changed the path..It..Is..Inevitable.

  Hours had passed inside the initial speech from the Human Hijìn and he and his friend Kÿr have somewhat assimilated into the tribe better than they had imagined, Kÿr was laying on his back by a campfire with his stomach full of food and mead letting the days pass. Hijìn sat right by his friend staring down at him with a small reminiscing smile poking a bit of fun at the feline as he slept, from behind him in the darkness the Elder would emerge holding a similar cloak as he did but just small enough to fit the human. Hijìn watched him sit by them in front if the fire and place the clothes by Hijìn's side before sitting back and staring deeply into the flames, the human passing his hands down on the cloak with a emotionless look in his face- the same soft feeling bringing him back so many years in his head it nearly made his eyes water, breaking out of the trance and swiftly fitting the clothes on his washed but still exhausted body. The soft pulsing light of the campsites flame illuminating their bodies as Hijìn's hand slipped out of the sleeve looking at the outfit and growing some warmth inside of his body for the first time in what felt like forever, turning over to face the Elder Hijìn would cross his legs and plant his hands down on his lap like he remembered his father had done. Opening his whole mouth revealing all the serrated teeth the Elder yawned exhausted as well from the past events of the last two days, sniffling a few times at the event of the flames ashes it's eyes would glance over at the human and for what felt like a glimpse in his imagination reminded him of a memory from long ago..the same pose the human did reminded him of something.. something so dear- if only his old mind could piece it together.

    Feel comfortable in your brand new garbs Hijìn?, asked the Elder using two right hands to sign the question, the human passing his hands down his chest on the cloak having a genuine smile on his face would nod before saying, "Yes.. I..Like". The Elder scoffed out weakly smiling as the hood of his cloak fell down a bit revealing a hole in the Elders skull, sniffling at the scent of the ash once again he wouldn't notice the perceptiveness of the human right by him who slowly lost their smile realizing what that hole could really be. "She..shot- Right?", Hijìn asked after turning to the white and orange flames in front of him with a upset look on his face, the pulsing light of the fire reflecting off his blind eye being all that the Elder could see of his facial expressions sighed realizing what he's talking about. Sound of shuffling clothes moved till the Elder sat down by the human staring at the flames as well unable to even mutter a word, the two incapable of communicating except for their most valuable asset..their hands and their hearts- She Kills all..regardless of actions..or so she thought- I was the first to see her face and I feared I was going to be the last..until you came round, I had saved my Son Ma'ire's life from her bloodlust..just my other son wasn't so fortunate and got heavily injured until disappearing into the woods never to be seen again. Soft tapping on the side of the Elders shoulder from Hijìn was all that he could reciprocate in terms of emotion..the feeling of the lost of one's sons is all that can truly be shared..one being the Witness who Lost and the other Being the one who disappeared-

Blackened night skies, fading of the smoke, and settling of the tribe could only be described as a new beginning in your life, you've ran away for so long until finally you've settled into a new realm of possibilities. You can rest- those same peering eyes of influence have waned..for now... Forgone- may the North Star Guide your Way.. ✨

[nothing-but-dreamy]

DEADLINE PT. 2

A/N: Here's the unplanned second part of DEADLINE. You wanna know how it started? -> here I hope you like it guys. Feedback is always welcomed Wanna read more? Masterlist

Pairing: DBH!Connor x Human!Reader

Words: 1.305

Warnings: cursing

Pain could be caused by different things. It was either physical or emotional. For me, it was both. The physical pain told me I was still alive. Alive enough to deal with my emotional pain. I couldn't remember how I got into the hospital. I just awoke there. I was a mess. Wincing in distress whenever I moved. I was covered in bandages and filled up with pain killers. The world behind the window was asleep. I had no idea what day or time it was. How the revolution had ended. If CyberLife had been successful. If Connor was still alive. Being somewhere out there.

"You are the reason why I failed my mission."

I froze, unable to move. My body recognized the dark, ice cold voice before my brain could. Adrenaline trembled my bones. As I turned my head to the right, a tall figure leant against the wall next to the window. The slim frame stood in the shadow. The arms were crossed in front of the chest but even through the darkness, I knew who it was. The slow blue spinning LED betrayed its owner.

"And now- what? You want to take revenge? You want to end me?", I asked weakly. My own voice was strange to myself. My ribs were hurting with each word. There was no answer coming from the shadow. But the LED turned yellow.

"How did you even find me?", I asked strained to fill the silence while my heart tried to burst out of my ribcage. Just to hear his voice made me nervous. I never had expected to hear it ever again in my life.

"I called the ambulance.", he said matter of factly.

He had saved me from the roof...

But there was something...else. A small spark of hope kindled inside of me. I swallowed it down. Hope wasn't something I should allow to myself. "Oh bloody hell, and what next? Now, I even have to thank you, huh?", I asked bitterly, with a dry laugh. I gasped violently. Laughing was something I shouldn't do right now.

There was still no answer. The shadow stayed silent but his LED was spinning red. Maybe a reaction to my condition. “What do you want, Connor?", I asked annoyed. I was in a bad mood because of... well...everything. I just wanted to sleep. To sleep to forget what had happened during the fight of Detroit.

"If I go back I will be deactivated because I failed.", Connor said low, not giving away any emotion that might be held by him.

"So you're still under their control, huh? Good luck, then.", I answered. Why wasn't I surprised that he was still taking orders? Listening to CyberLife like a goddamn puppet.

Finally, he moved. Connor stepped out of the shadow. The blue and green neon lights of the city illuminated his angelic, perfect face which could hold so much ruthlessness.

"I said 'if' I go back.", his voice softer than before.

I frowned, looking up into his direction. "So, what? You're not obeying them anymore? You turn your back to the one who let you do all these horrible things?"

Connor stepped slowly closer. "Maybe... If I find a good reason to stay away from CyberLife.", he explained, keeping his eyes glued on me.

I felt the glance of his brown eyes burning on my skin. These eyes had made me fall in love with him. These goddamn, fucking soft eyes. He made me angry with his emotionless glance. "Don't expect anything from me. Two of my ribs are broken. I was almost frozen to death. You have killed my team. You have killed my Captain. Hell, you almost killed me!", I screamed, wheezing in pain. I regretted it instantly.

Once again, Connor stepped closer to my bed. His LED never changed its color. It stayed constantly red. "But, after all, you said you love me."

"To wake you up! To stop you from being a fucking machine! I wanted to provoke a reaction!", I called out furious.

"Coming back to you is my reaction."

I stayed silent. Nothing seemed to be a suitable answer and could summarize what I thought or felt. But there was a change in his voice. There was softness vibrating but maybe it was just a trick of my mind because I still hoped too much...

"I couldn't kill the deviant leader.", Connor said and pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Why not?", I asked puzzled.

"He...asked the right question."

I was sure, I had heard it! Connor had called the leader 'he' instead of 'it'... I noticed that. He never did that before. All the time, he acted clinical, mechanic...like a machine. "What kind of question might be breaking a fucking machine like you?"

"If I ever have loved.", Connor answered my question and stepped forward. Just a bunch of steps were separating us.

"And?", my voice was nothing more than a whisper. My heart jumped into my throat as I waited for his answer.

"I do. I do love someone.", he said calmly and stopped next to my bed. Looking down on me with concern in his eyes. Taking in all the injuries, wounds and bruises I got from him.

With two of his slender fingers, he took a strand of my hair and stroked it out of my face. He had done that before. One time. During one of our sparring training sessions. It was the moment I thought he could break free. As his fingers were brushing over my cheek, electricity shot through me. I had to close my eyes, otherwise he would have seen everything written in them. "Connor, please... don't..."

Ignoring my pleading, he sat carefully on the edge of the bed. He cupped my face softly with his hand. "I have blood on my hands. Blue and red. Many lives got destroyed by me. But the worst for me is that I... almost killed you."

The deep pain in his voice let me shudder. It was the first real emotion I got from him. "Y-you just want to obtain pardon from me. I can't give you that.", I said shaky. I tried to sound serious but I failed.

Connor leant down to me. His eyes flickering back and forth between mine. "No. What I want is just you."

My heart skipped a beat. His eyes were sparkling in the dim light. Suddenly, they were holding so much warmth. The former coldness was gone. My breath hitched in my throat and I could barely speak. "But I... After everything... I can't..."

Inch by inch, Connor was coming closer. "Tell me that you don't want me."

"I... I-", I wanted to say he should leave but I couldn't. It didn't feel... right.

"Tell me you don't love me anymore and I will go. I'll leave you alone if that is what you really want.", he demanded whispering.

I closed my eyes because of my blurred vision. Hot tears were running down my cheeks. I couldn't say what Connor demanded because it would be just a lie to him...and to myself. Emotions couldn’t get switched off like a lamp. I opened my eyes, determination in them. I knew what I wanted. "I can't tell you that.", I answered breathy against his lips.

My answer was enough for Connor to understand. Without a second thought, he closed the small gap and pressed his soft but cold lips on mine to seal the unspoken promise he gave me. It was a desperate and passionate kiss, dosed with everything he wanted to tell me.

He wasn't taking orders anymore.

He wouldn't kill anymore.

He regretted what he had done...to me… and to everyone else.

Connor had crossed CyberLife’s deadline and wouldn't look back because...

… he loved me.

[heresathreebee]

Waters Brackish and Briny (four)

[Ralph Lamont X Female Reader]

Summary: the first of many strange and unusual occurrences to come in your new home. Previous Masterlist Next

Tags: 15+ | 2k words | hauntings, an argument, physical intimidation 😬, secrets, crying

AN: hey remember there were ghosts in Things Seen and Heard? Personally I hate angst so sorry y'all 😔 I will NOT leave it here for long

SECOND WEEK

Ralph went back to work and the house became empty once more. Empty except for yourself and the house. And possibly a rat or two. You set up traps and finished moving the furniture in the downstairs rooms into place. The previous owners left a decently conditioned upright piano behind when they moved. A few scuffs on the legs and a toy soldier in the strings, but perfectly playable and barely out of tune. Nothing a little warm up couldn't change.

You ate lunch on the piano bench, glaring at the unfinished archway leading to the solar room. Should you sweep first or measure the windows to be fitted for panes? Do you want regular clear glass or some stained glass? Get crazy with it? 

You waste a couple hours playing basic melodies and manage to squeeze in time to do all the measurements for the windows before 3 pm. You take down the paper on the floor most window holes and sweep the dust and leaves and branches outside. You mop till the hardwood floor shines but you hate the white beech wood and add varnish to the To Do list. 

You ring up the Vayle boys you met the day you unloaded your furniture. "Hey Eddie! I was planning on making something for you and Cole as a thank you but I need some supplies first." 

It rained in the afternoon and Ralph came home with mud on his pants. "Baby what happened? Did you fall?" 

Ralph looked supremely annoyed. "One of the kids took a tumble and grabbed me for support. We both went down." 

You know he's in a sour mood but you can't stifle your laughter. You coo at him, looking over the damage to his suit. He's got mud caked on the seat of his pants and flecks of it as high as the back of his neck. You help him strip as much as appropriate with guests in the house. 

Your husband sniffs the vanilla scent from the air and looks at you incredulously. "Did you make cookies?" 

"Yeah," you said, "for Eddie and Cole." 

The boys waved at your husband from the kitchen counter. He gives a lustless wave back and trudges upstairs in his under things. You tip the boys with the rest of the cookies in an old dish and send them on their way home. 

You open your bedroom door to find Ralph butt ass naked and on his knees looking for something. 

"We should do this more often," you tease. 

Ralph looks up and raises an eyebrow at you then notices the position he's put himself in. "Now's not the time for jokes: do you know where the luffa is?" 

You cross your arms. "Well it's not under the bed…" 

"Helpful." Ralph climbs to his feet and his nose bumps yours. "Where. Is. The luffa." 

"Behind the bathroom door on a hook." 

"Why?" Ralph takes three steps towards the bathroom, then quickly retraces them and this time his forehead collides with you none too gently. "And not saving me a cookie? Uncool." 

"Open your mouth." His eyes go dark for a second and you roll yours. "Do it." 

You plant the last cookie in his mouth and flop onto the bedspread. "Go. Shower. I'll clean up the kitchen." 

The house creaks at night. Sometimes the sounds make the hair on your neck stand on end, but you simply squeeze Ralph and drift back to sleep. In the haze of a dream you think you hear something small and glass break a few rooms over but you can't hold onto your memories for long like this. 

Except tonight there is more than sounds. Beneath the smell of your body wash on Ralph's skin, something tickles the back of your throat. It's acrid and raw pulling you from the fringes of sleep into reality fast. You sniff the air and the scent seems to grow ten times stronger. It's like… it's like… 

You shake Ralph by the shoulder. He doesn't stir an inch. The smell is so strong you're choking on it. You grab Ralph and shake him like a doll until he bursts into wakefulness. 

"What? What?!" 

"Do you smell that?" 

"What?" His eyes are completely unfocused, face pinched in annoyance. 

"It smells like…" you turn on the bedside lamp much to his dismay. "It's like gasoline or something." 

Ralph growls and rubs at his eyes. "Exhaust fumes maybe. Ralph! We have to get up– we have to get out!" 

Somehow you manage to drag him out of bed and down the stairs. The smell gets weaker but it's still there burning in your nostrils like actual fire. Your eyes search frantically for that yellow orange flicker in every room to no avail. It doesn't ease your fear. 

"Come on." You push Ralph outside and the man almost falls off the wrap-around porch. His eyes are glued shut, legs shaking as he stands, and trapped in that sleep state. 

You rack your brain for ideas. Is the car on fire? Should you check the garage? Do you have a working fire extinguisher? There's one in the garage by the door but you doubt it's up to date. 

"Ralph baby please wake up, I need you…" 

You cling to his arm and he manages to crack one eye open. "The fuck is going on?" 

"Something's wrong," you stutter, "I think he's here."

Ralph opened his other eye and looked at you. His head swiveled to and fro over his shoulders, trying to peer out into the dark cover of night to find anyone lurking in the dark. His grip on your arm is tight, almost hurts. He looks back at you, puzzled. 

"Where?" 

You didn't know where, in fact you don't know why you said that. He had no idea where the two of you were. For all you know he might not even be a he at all. You've never met them but you're haunted by them. 

You shake your head and focus on the danger of now. "Fumes. I woke up and it smelled like exhaust fumes in our room." 

"I didn't smell anything," Ralph says. 

You growl. "I did. We need to call someone, we can't go back in the house. What if it's filled with gas and there is an open flame somewhere?" 

Ralph looks around then tries to walk past you towards the door. You catch him with a look of disbelief. 

"Did you not just hear a single word I said?!" 

Ralph sweeps your bruising grip from his arm. He keeps walking but he never breaks eye contact with you. He's definitely awake now. 

"If there's fumes, it's coming from the garage. Lord knows you're not going to let me look knowing that," he says stepping past the threshold into the mud closet next to the kitchen, "so we need to call someone." 

He picks up the phone from its cradle and dials 9-1-1. "Unless you have some secret satelite phone hidden in the barn, I'm all ears on how we call someone…" 

He's right. He's being an asshole about it but he's right. You can smell the fumes as you step in, desperate not to be far from him no matter what happens. Ralph plucks the housecoat from the hook by the door and fits it around your shoulders. You didn't realize you were shivering. 

The sheriff comes out tonight and it's half past 2 am. You and Ralph are waiting outside, a reasonable distance from the house in case an explosion was imminent but it never came. Sheriff Laughton brought a fire team and they searched the house. 

Travis–  as he asked them to call him– asked a few meandering questions. Ralph held your hand and answered as many as he dared, looking to you for the questions you could answer better. They both noticed your thousand yard stare but said nothing. 

Travis came back with the fire team and a long, befuddled face. "They checked over every inch of that house and didn't find anything except a broken lightbulb in the laundry closet." 

Ralphie did not return your gaze, instead he asked. "Nothing at all?" 

Travis scratched his head. "If there was something, it's gone now. I might have your cars looked at just in case, there's a mechanic about 10 miles yonder I can give you directions to." 

Ralph's hand smoothed over your shoulder to try warming you up. "No, no that's OK, I have a mechanic right here." 

You slap his chest for teasing you but your weak smile falls not a moment later. How can that be? They found nothing? Had you imagined the whole thing? But it had felt so real… 

By the time you brought your mind back to the present, you found Ralph had moved you to the kitchen and offered Travis a cup of coffee for his troubles. The fire team was packed up and driving off the property, leaving only the sheriff's cruiser out in that empty night. 

"Ralph," you whispered over the sink. "I think we should call Reagan…" 

"No." 

You blinked. He hadn't even taken a second to consider it, just… dismissed you out of hand like you were an annoyance. You crossed your arms over your chest and glared. 

"If you won't, I will." 

Ralph beat you to the phone and blocked your path, you glimpsed Travis standing awkwardly in the door but paid him no more than a passing thought. 

This was about to get ugly. 

"I. Am not crazy." You keep your voice low but the quiver of anger still seeps through. "I know what I smelled. It was real. If you're not going to ask for help, then fine, but do not stand in my way because of your pride." 

Ralph had that look in his eyes– the dangerous look. "Oh, honey, no… I told you– we are not calling Reagan." 

He kept shaking his head minutely, like it was the only thing keeping him from screaming. "That's final. I mean it, baby. I will lock you in that fucking basement if you touch that phone. I will burn this fucking house down before I let you even look at that dial." 

Your jaw hit the floor but before you could protest, Ralph had your arm in a death grip as he began to drag you out into the hallway. He was probably trying to push you to the bedroom but his out of character threat had rocked you. 

"Let me go," you growled, "Ralph! Stop it!" 

Travis called out to you two and you tried to wipe that innate look of fear from your face. Ralph seemed to snap out of it a bit when he realized you weren't alone and he finally released your arm. It didn't stop him from bending over you until his nose brushed yours and in a growl commanded you to go upstairs. 

Now is not the time to cry. Crying right now feels like weakness. You're not sad– you're fucking furious with him right now. But you're not about to make a bigger scene in front of this cop, so you push past him and head for the stairs. 

The blood racing in your veins is making your face hot and head pound. You can hear Ralph follow you up shortly, likely to continue the argument further but you are beyond listening at this point. You turn just in time to see him look at you funny– why are you mad?-- before slamming the door so hard you hear the wood around the lock almost splinter. 

He doesn't try the door. The light of the hallway goes out and you listen to him sigh as he heads for the couch to sleep on. You throw yourself onto your bed alone and cry into your pillow until exhaustion takes you to a dreamless black sleep.

Tag list: @werwulfy @fundamentally-lazy @escape-your-grape @go-commander-kim @mimiscappinisideblog

[midnightcrusader]

first light (3)

spike spiegel x oc

SERIES MASTERLIST

chapter three: facades made of fear

↳ word count: 6,1k

↳ spoiler warning: mentions of ep06, 07, full on ep08,09 and briefly ep10

↳ other warnings: smoking, drinking mentioned, death (rip my man Rocco), ANGST.

↳ songs mentioned: Starman by David Bowie, Elton John (but only his stage name, stream Honky Cat btw!)

↳ a/n: guys! thank you sm for the endorsement! i’ve read every single one of the dm’s and i’m so grateful you’ve enjoyed the previous 2 chapters! and since i literally feel moved by your messages - why should i not post this chapter as a sunday special? it’s my thank you to y’all <3 

"Jet."

"No."

"Jet."

"No."

"But Jet!"

"I said no, Rory," the man growled, visibly annoyed at the grumble of the younger woman.

"But I want to go with them to Venus!" Rory cried, almost throwing away the wrench she was holding.

"No. Last time I let you help them you ended up with a wounded leg, not to mention you got drunk with Spike last week! You're reckless!" Jet argued back as they both were working on the hangar gate that had recently broken.

"But Faye's equally reckless!"

"Faye's not you," he murmured as he felt something bouncing off of his arm. "Do not throw screws at me, you're only proving my point!"

"I want to do something exciting, Jet! I don't want to spend my whole life repairing this goddamn spaceship!" Rory continued. Today Faye and Spike were supposed to sabotage a hijacking group and some time ago they met up with the owner of the legendary Heavy Metal Queen owner.

To say Rory felt left out would have been an understatement. She had spent the past few years only fixing Bebop and, from time to time, accompanying Spike and Jet during the missions. But she never get the chance to do something on her own. With the thought that had been building up in her mind for some time, now, Rory Ray felt the need to finally became independent. She wanted to be something more than just the Bebop engineer, she longed for some action to happen.

But Jet dismissed her almost every day, saying how she was being ridiculous and had no clue what she was saying. Of course, they both knew that he was trying to protect her, simply because he felt like it was his duty, however, it started to utterly bugged Rory.

...and there was also the memory of last Wednesday that worried her...

Rory liked to compare being drunk to being almost enlightened, however, the conclusion that had recently appeared in her mind was leaving more questions than answers. Rory didn't know if Faye was right while saying the mechanic herself had some unexplained feelings towards Spike, Rory didn't know if she ever wanted to enter the romantic field ever again.

But most importantly she didn't know if Spike was capable of ever sharing those feelings with her.

"They're back," Jet informed Rory who seemed to be lost in her thoughts. "Wait, where the fuck is Faye?" He added, noticing that the only spaceship that was getting closer to them was Spike's Swordfish and the dark-haired woman was nowhere to be seen.

"Shopping? Or spending the money in another stupid way," Rory replied, putting away her tools to the box. "I'm going to make pasta, you want some?"

"Since when do you cook?" Jet raised his brow, moving away from the hangar gate.

"I try to find myself some new hobbies since I'm not allowed to leave this fucking ship," she hissed, still upset with him.

Later that day Rory found herself making dinner for everybody, as promised, and even managed to make enough for both Faye and Ein to eat. It turned out that Spike, apparently, met some suspicious man, who asked the Bounty Hunter to train him, evaporating as soon as he appeared, leaving Spike with a plant called the Grey Ash. The two men were supposed to meet again in the evening, so Spike could give him back his possession. Supposedly, the guy was in some sort of serious trouble.

When Faye came back, she suggested they leave the bounty and sell the plant, hence it was worth more than the hunt itself, yet Spike objected, purposely messing up the nickname she gave herself. Rory fidgeted with her cigarette as she spotted Spike standing up, not sure if she should start the conversation.

"Hey, where are you heading?" Rory asked Spike as he was about to leave.

"The ruins of an old ship. Gotta check something," he explained, entering the hangar.

"God, I wish Jet let me on a mission. Can you believe he told me I'm too reckless to go anywhere?" Rory spoke dramatically, gaining a suspicious-looking stare from the man. "What?" The question she asked was said with a completely different manner, her voice returning back to normal.

"Don't act like Faye, beating around the bush is pointless," he stated, opening the doors of his ship. "Just say you want to go," he added, smirking. He didn't know where his sudden hostility was coming from, yet remembering they recent night out, he assumed he didn't hated her... that much.

"Fucking hell, can I?" Rory replied, her eyes almost glowing.

"Why else would I suggest that?" Spike responded, rolling his eyes. "Just get into your own ship, I don't have space for you," he remarked, making Rory laugh.

"Sure thing, Cowboy," she answered cheerfully as she approached her Starman, another thing in her life that was named after a David Bowie's song.

"Call me that again and I'm leaving you behind," he threatened her, his facade broken by the smirk appearing on his face.

"Oh, no, please don't do that," she theatrically pouted as they left the hangar. Not a minute after they had left, a call from Bebop appeared on the Starman's screen. "What's up?"

"Where the hell are you going?" Jet's voice filled the speakers as Rory sighed.

"Out? Spike asked me to accompany him."

"No, I didn't. She wanted to go." This time it was Spike who had joined the call.

"Spike, if she gets hurt again..."

"I won't, old man, go trim your bonsais and don't worry," she sheepishly smiled, hanging up from the call.

"You're stupid," Spike responded, his face appearing on the full screen of Rory's ship.

"You're stupider," she childishly replied while fixing her hair.

"Hey, careful here, woman. Remember what I said about leaving you behind?"

"Don't woman me, idiot," she responded, however, she was surprised that instead of angrily snapping back she simply giggled.

"We're taking off, try not to bump your filthy ship on mine, will you?" Spike grinned as he began to land down.

"Hey, hey, I'm a professional pilot, don't diminish my skills," she waved a finger in front of her screen.

Spike only snorted in response and patiently waited for the Starman to land behind his own ship. As Rory joined him, she adjusted the gun she brought with herself, just in case of any possible inconveniences.

"How much do you remember about last Wednesday?" Spike finally asked her the question that was heavy on his mind. He was afraid he might have told her too much that time. The other reason being he needed the reassurance she wouldn't bring up his past to him any time soon.

"Depends on you. I could remember nothing if that lets you sleep at night," she responded, almost making the promise she wouldn't talk about their conversation unless he wanted to.

"Good."

However, the truth was she remembered most of their confessions. But feeling the same way towards her story, she wasn't willing to bring up the subject ever again.

As their needed small-talk ended, they entered the ruins of the ship, silently walking through the corridors. Rory made sure the gun was still in her sight; the previous experiences had taught her it was better being cautious rather than trusting. A harsh lesson everyone should have learned, whether it was sooner or later.

When the two of them entered the top floor, they noticed a crafted handkerchief on a rocking chair.

"Hold it right there! Both hands up!" A woman's voice rang through the room, causing Rory to rapidly grabbed her gun.

"Ray, no need," Spike whispered to her, gently putting one of his hands on her own. "We're not criminals... Woah, that makes me sound more like a criminal, doesn't it?" He responded to the woman who was pointing at them with a gun.

Rory sighed in relief when they all realized none of them meant any harm. The woman, that turned out to be Rocco's little sister, served them a brew that was surprisingly tasty. She explained to them she lost sight in both of her eyes due to the contamination on Venus and Rocco was trying to help her in some way. Although Rory wasn't saying much and simply observing their surroundings, she was pleasantly surprised at how soft-spoken Spike appeared to be when it came to strangers.

But there was one thing Rocco's sister said that Rory took almost completely to her heart

Sometimes it's easier when you can't see.

~.~

"Look at me, a poor, old man, repairing the ship alone because his assistant has left him," Jet complained as Rory and Spike came back to Bebop.

"I'm not your assistant," Rory sighed, tying her hair up.

"Yeah, you still left me, kid," he continued his sappy comment.

"I think I'm gonna shower, try not to cry about it," she replied as she disappeared into the bathroom.

The evening rolled by sooner than Rory was expecting it to, meaning that Spike was about to leave the ship again due to his appointment. Rory realized that some odd men were after Rocco, meaning that it would definitely be a dangerous mission, and there was no way both Jet and Spike agreed on her accompanying the second man.

Yet, it was still worth trying, wasn't it?

"I want to go."

"Forget it, you won't be any help," Spike answered her, getting into his ship for the third time today.

"Spike," she said his name, not coming up with a rational argument and hoping that stomping her feet like toddler would be any help.

"Calm down, Ray, will you?"

"Ugh! It's always calm down, don't go, you're reckless! I'm a grown-ass woman, I can fire my fucking gun too!" Rory argued as Spike only rolled his eyes and without saying another word left the hangar. "Why do you always treating me like a child?!" She screamed to herself, irritation filling her body. She was done with being ordered around, she was done with people restricting her own choices.

...but for some reason Spike's no meant more that Jet's to her.

So there she was, Rory Ray, a twenty-four year old who wasn’t able to make her own decisions, sitting alone in the hangar, mad both at the whole world and herself.

Yet, thirty minutes.

Thirty minutes were enough for the world to change its decision.

"Come on, kid, Spike's needs our help," Jet stated, getting into his own ship.

"Wait, what?" Rory didn't know the right answer to Jet's words. Of course, she was happy she could finally be part of the mission, but...

...Jet only interfered when things were going south.

And the notion of Spike being in danger made her unbelievably worried.

Yet without any doubt, she entered the Starman and followed Jet, only to found Spike and Rocco in the middle of a literal battlefield. And as they all continued fighting, Rory noticed her crew mate giving thumbs-up to his acquaintance, a seconds later Rocco's body falling to the ground.

"Shit, Jet! We have a problem," she mumbled to her speaker, still not used to the view of people getting shot in front of her. "Fuck, this stupid bastard is going to get himself killed!" Rory added, noticing Spike running up to the shot man.

...but it wasn't Spike whose lifeless body was escorted to the hospital. It was Rocco.

Within the next few hours, Rory stood silently in front of the hospital room his sister, Stella, was in. Spike brought her flowers and was the one who was supposed tell her that her brother was no longer alive.

It was harsh.

It was so goddamn harsh that Rory felt her nails scratching the palm of her hand as she waited for Spike in the unpleasantly white corridor. When he finally appeared, Rory saw his tense expression as he was trying his best not to show any emotions.

And Rory knew that feeling as well as him. Hiding before a tough facade seemed like the easier way not to show others you cared. But when she could ignore it when it came to herself, she simply couldn't stand Spike forcing himself to do that.

Rory didn't know what was the reason for her grabbing his hand as he walked past her. She didn't know if she wanted to comfort him or herself either.

But to her surprise, Spike didn't reject her hand on his wrist. Instead, he got closer and gently hugged her, almost like he was trying not to interfere with her personal space. For a second Rory didn't know what was happening, and most importantly, she didn't know why all of the sudden she felt so...

...calm.

~.~

Rapid footsteps, the noise of glass clinking followed by the running water from the tap, a quiet slurp.

Rory couldn't managed to bear with her own thoughts that night. The notion of the latest events was keeping her awake and she swore she would have enormous bags under her eyes the morning next.

She obviously was torn by the thought of Stella's brother death, as she was one of the people who witnessed it. But there was also the second reason; more personal one — she would've never thought she would feel that nice with Spike hugging her. It was probably more of the strangest experiences that had ever happened to her, hence Spike Spiegel rarely showed any deeper emotions.

And Rory had no clue what to do. Should she let herself see if her feelings evolve? Or maybe they already did? Was she capable of having them with someone else than Jack, the boy with whom she escaped from Earth, the boy she had experienced her first kiss with... the boy who completely destroyed her ability to trust others.

Sipping her cold tap water, covered with a purple blanket, she leaned on the kitchen counter, glancing over the spaceship's window.

"Can't sleep?" She suddenly heard the voice she didn't know she longed to hear or simply wanted to avoid.

"Yep," she silently mumbled, her stare concentrating on the male's figure that stepped into the room she was in. "You too?" Rory wasn't surprised when she received only a nod; of course he couldn't sleep either, it was a rhetorical question.

Exchanging only glances, the two found themselves in the living room a second later, sitting next to themselves on the bright yellow couch.

"Seeing people dying in front of me still freaks me out," she finally admitted, staring at her glass of water.

"You'll get used to it," Spike murmured, his gaze absent as well.

"No, I don't think I can," Rory confessed. "I know it makes me weak but I just can't."

"Not necessarily," he added with the voice that almost couldn't been heard.

"Huh?"

"It doesn't make you weak, that's just human behavior," he explained, still sounding like he was talking more to himself than her.

"Funny hearing that from you," Rory huffed, however, this time she wasn't trying to tease him. The tone of her response was oddly understanding, almost comforting. "Hey, that's my water," she added in her usual manner as Spike took the glass she was holding and took a sip himself.

"You weren't drinking it," he smirked. For the first few seconds Rory thought that his expression was just a false facade, however, she quickly realized it was more sad rather than cocky.

"That doesn't mean I wasn't planning to," she responded.

In both of their minds, they thought of how ridiculous it was; they bickered even if they both were feeling melancholic.

"Spike?" Rory asked hesitantly after they both stood silent for a while.

"Hm?"

"It may sound weird, but if you ever wanted to talk about..."

"I don't," he quickly interrupted her, however, his voice wasn't as angry as usual — it was surprisingly calm, almost like he knew she would understand his objection.

"It's completely fine then." Spike was right, she understood. Moreover, it was the first time since their conversation started, she had sent him a smile. A weak one, but it was still a smile. "Hey, you know what would be great?" The tone of her voice completely changed as she clapped her hands and grinned.

"What?" Spike rolled his eyes, trying his best not to laugh at her overly-dramatic expression.

"Drinking," she stated childishly.

"I'm not drinking with you anymore," he objected, subconsciously smiling.

"Why not?" Rory furrowed her brow, her voice resembling a confused child.

"Do you have any idea how bad was my hangover last time?" Spike asked her reproachfully, putting the glass he was holding on the coffee table.

"It's not my fault you're a weakling," she devilishly smiled, nudging him with her elbow.

"It's not my fault you're an alcoholic," he snapped back, corners of his mouth still going up.

"No, no, Cowboy, there's a difference between being an alcoholic and an alcohol connoisseur," Rory waved her finger in front of him, almost giggling at her own words.

"Yeah? Like what?" Spike wondered, raising up his brows.

"You wouldn't say you're a nicotine addict, yet you smoke," she explained.

"Huh, actually I would say that," he shrugged, the expression on the woman's face absolutely priceless.

"Well, uh, I guess then my argument's shit then," she replied, having no idea why she didn't argued back but simply confessed to her mistake.

"Yeah, as always."

"Hey, take that back!"

"But you've just said it yourself."

~.~

"Rory!"

The strawberry blonde woman sighed at her name being called in the most awfully sweet manner she could've ever imagined.

"I'm not going shopping with you, Faye!" Rory called while being underneath Swordfish. Spike had asked her to help him repair the bottom part of the ship due to the last fight he was in.

"I've never said anything about shopping, stop acting like an old lady," Valentine responded as she stumbled upon the metal parts that were laying around the floor. "First step of becoming up-to-date is quitting listening to this shitty music," she added, unplugging the wire that was attached to the speaker.

"Hey, don't disrespect Elton John like that!" Rory fumed as soon as the song stopped playing, crawling from the floor to face the intruder that at that moment was Faye.

"Great, you're good to go now," she smiled mischievously when she realized her plan had worked — Rory was no longer busy with fixing Spike's ship.

"Where, the fuck?"

"Apparently someone hacked into a satellite, we outta check it," she quickly explained, throwing a yellow cloth towards Rory, so she could clean up her hands.

"You should've said it from the start," Rory grinned as she walked up to her own spaceship. She was positive with participating when it came to joining someone on the mission, even if it might seemed utterly boring.

"Hey," Faye suddenly stopped her, her smirk widening. "Were you with Spike last night? I heard your voices in the living room," she whispered, her eyes glowing due to the possibility of hearing the gossip.

"We couldn't sleep," Rory explained simply, yet she wished she hadn't just said that as Faye raised her brows. "Jesus, we didn't do anything, we just talked," she continued, rolling her eyes. Faye Valentine was being obnoxious again and Rory absolutely despised it.

"Sure," she emphasized her response, smiling devilishly.

"Faye!" Rory hissed at the woman's expression.

"You coming or not?" She asked like nothing ever happened, jumping into the deck of her spaceship.

"Ugh, yeah," Rory sighed in response. Sometimes she truly hated the nature of Faye Valentine.

Their search for the suspicious satellite brought nothing but disappointment; it turned out that there were too many working devices in the area to be checked properly. Tired and frustrated, Faye and Rory walked into the main part of the ship, hoping that Jet and Spike got any clue about what was happening.

"What's that?" Rory pointed out at the box that Jet had brought along, before she had the chance to sit beside them at the couch.

"A souvenir from Earth," he explained as Rory picked up, what it seemed to be, a bird made of chocolate.

"Damn, I must be getting old, I've never seen them bef— what the fuck, Spike?" Rory interrupted herself in mid-sentence only to curse out the man who had just tripped her up with his leg.

She received only a smirk from him and a suggestive stare from Faye. Rolling her eyes for the millionth time that day, she threw herself on the couch Spike was sitting on the edge of, unwillingly hitting his legs with her own. She raised one of her hands to taste the oddly-shaped snack, while listening to Jet's story about the hacker called Radical Edward...

...who apparently was seven-foot-tall, ex-basketball pro, and a gay alien...

That was when Rory chocked on the earthling she was eating. Not because of the information Jet gave them, but because what she assumed to be chocolate wasn't even close to tasting like it. Ignoring Spike's silent laugh, she got up, disappearing to her workshop for the rest of the afternoon.

"Rory!"

"Faye, I don't want to hear any-fucking-more of your goddamn assumptions, how many times I have to repeat myself?" Rory sighed, looking down from the platform she was currently at.

"I'm not here to do that," she explained, leaning on the metal railing. "I came to give you some advise since, you know, you seem to appear a bit helpless when it comes to romance," she added, a cocky smile dancing on her lips.

"I don't need ‘em," Rory hummed, returning to her work and hoping that Faye would leave as soon as she came.

"Of course you do, dummy! You're the weirdest woman I've ever met!" Faye objected, laughing softly.

"God, I don't know if I want to hit you or myself with that wrench," Rory mumbled, looking at the tool she was holding.

"Quit the drama, I seriously mean it."

"Yeah, me too," she sighed.

The words Faye was saying went from one ear to another as Rory wasn't even focused on hearing the relationship advise. She didn't even know if the emotions she felt were connected to romantic interest towards Spike, or was it simply fear of losing him during one of his bounty hunts. Lucky for her, it turned out that their voice channel was being hacked, causing all of the crew to gather in the living area once again.

However, the person who contacted them was far from being tall alien with the interest for the same gender and, in fact, it was a red-headed kid with the purest smile on their face. And Rory had no idea if that wasn't the factor that surprised her the most.

The kid explained to them it wasn't indeed another hacker, who caused the troubles with the satellite but it was the satellite itself. Apparently, there had occurred an error and someone on Bebop was supposed to destroy the mechanical parts that were failing.

"No, no, no, there's no way we're doing that," Rory disagreed, recognizing the only possible way to unattached the parts. "It's all manual, one wrong move and you'll literally fry," she added, walking away from the computer.

"Kiddo's right, it's like trying to play baseball without a bat," Jet agreed. "Hey! Where're you going?" He added, noticing Spike turning on his heel and walking away.

"Now, this is the kind of stuff I like," he smiled as he was about to exit the living area. "Let's do it."

"Spike, wait!" Rory called after him, quickly catching up with him. "You can't do this, it's too fucking dangerous," she lowered her voice, partially because she didn't want to Jet and Faye to hear her and also because she was feeling the familiar shivers down her spine.

"I know," he monotonously responded, still continuing to walk.

"You can get hurt!"

"I know."

"Spike," Rory said his name once again, her tone almost pleading him not to go there.

"And why do you care, Ray? What's the reason you're so concerned about, hm?" He finally faced her, however, that was just like a death sentence for her.

All of the sudden none of the words she wanted to say could not escape her mouth.

"Because..," she mumbled, wanting to escape his burning stare. "I-I don't. I don't care, you can go."

And with that he was soon to be gone. Rory only watched his ship exiting the hangar as her hands trembled.

That was a complete lie.

She cared. She cared even more she could possibly express, that was the reason she didn't want him to go on the, practically, suicide mission.

And that's when she realized, she was nothing but a coward. A coward who couldn't say the words she meant, a coward that was too afraid to do anything.

She didn't notice, however, that this wasn't the case; she simply was more scared of expressing her feelings.

"Jet, move, I've got some engineering to do," she ordered as soon as she came back to the main part of the ship. "If I'm right, this satellite model probably has some fucked up wiring, it's an old one," she explained as Jet watched her without saying a word. To be completely frank, he was surprised at her own seriousness at that moment, not entirely knowing what was causing her to act that way. "Spike? You there?" Rory asked to the speaker, her hands now totally still.

"Aye, captain," he jokingly answered, his tone not suitable for the situation at all.

"Okay, first things first. Connect D7 to number two."

"Jet already has told me that, don't act like you know everything the best," he informed her, laughing.

"Good, listen," she continued, completely ignoring his previous answer. She needed to make sure everything was just according to the plan. "Before destroying the parts you have to reattach the three wires. First one is red, then blue, and the third one is most likely either green or yellow. You can't mess up the order, otherwise the whole satellite is going to blow up," she informed him, unconsciously fidgeting with the pencil she found on Jet's desk.

"Red, blue and the third one, got it," she heard him confirming.

"Okay, turn the computer down and, please, try not to die," Rory added, almost forgetting to breath.

"Whatever you say." And with that, the connection was broken, meaning that Spike was already completing the mission.

"Kid, you okay?" Jet finally asked the question he wanted to know the answer for for a long time now.

"Yeah," Rory whispered, her leg bouncing nervously.

"You don't seem like you are," he noted, putting an arm over her shoulder. "Don't worry, he's gonna be fine," he assured Rory, wanting to show her a bit of comfort. She definitely needed that at that moment.

"Hey, I'm not worried. I could've never been worried about this moron," she corrected him, smiling weakly.

"You're convincing me or yourself?" Jet teased her, gaining a nudge in the stomach. "Ouch, the hell?"

"Cut it, Jet," she laughed, getting up from the chair she was sitting on.

"You did pretty good coordinating him, maybe I should think about promoting you, don't you think?" His half-joke made Rory smile even more, her fear letting her go for a moment.

"I was saying that since the beginning."

~.~

"So let me make it clear, we have no bounty, again. I have to repair this moron's ship, again. And in addiction we adopted a kid, is that right?" Rory fumed as the episode of today's Big Shot ended, letting them know that they had just been scammed for the millionth time now.

"Complain about the child to Faye, she was the one who promised him the space on the ship," Jet interfered Rory's rambling as he piloted Bebop.

"Ed is not him," the redhead corrected them proudly, wandering around the cockpit.

"Oh, you're a girl, sweet," Faye added, smoking the cigarette she had stolen from Rory.

"But Ed's a boy's name," the blonde woman wondered, following Valentine's footsteps and opened her Marlboro pack.

"Ed is Ed," the girl stated.

"Yeah, that explains a lot," Rory sighed, inhaling her first puff.

"Jet, do you know there are three things that I particularly hate?" Spike's annoyed voice rang through the cockpit as he was finally the one to speak. "Kids. Animals. And women with attitude. So tell me, Jet, why do we have all three of them neatly gathered in our ship?!" He screamed, making Rory almost immediately drop her cigarette.

"Hey, which one am I?" She asked, trying to repair the tense atmosphere.

"All fucking three of them," he hissed, angrily exiting the cockpit.

"Geez, what is up with him today?" Rory shrugged, throwing her almost new cigarette to the ashtray. "I'll go check on him," she added in a completely different manner, getting up.

She found him silently smoking a cigarette in one of the corridors. Not knowing how to start the conversation, she simply stood in front of him for a few seconds before she finally decided to say something.

"Spike, is everything alright?"

"Does it fucking look like it is?"

"I don't know, you've just been acting weirdly today," she lowered her tone, fidgeting with her hands behind her back. She hated when someone screamed, it was one of her biggest pet peeve.

"I've been acting weirdly? Spike, let's go for a drink! Spike, let's go on a mission together! Spike, never mind, I don't want you to go!" His mocking tone made Rory gulped. He wasn't bickering with her, he was being completely serious this time.

"I don't talk like that," she mumbled silently, looking down. She had no clue what was going on.

"Why the fuck are you that way? Why the fuck do you care? I don't want you to care, I want you to finally leave me alone!" Spike's intention wasn't to rumble as he spoke, however, he couldn't keep his composure that time. He had never seen Rory acting that way towards him. His anger truly expressed... his fear of not knowing what was going on.

"I-I..," she stuttered on her own words, Spike's reaction leaving her absolutely speechless. "I'm sorry," she only managed to add as she turned on her heel.

She felt absolutely nothing but emptiness, cursing herself in her thoughts she had ever believed Faye. Spike wasn't capable of feelings and apparently, neither was Rory herself. Maybe it was for the best they kept the status-quo of simply being the crew mates, nothing else.

As Spike continued to sitting in the now empty corridor he felt even more angry than before. He thought that letting his frustrations out would have helped him, yet it was only at that moment he noticed it didn't and in fact, there was something else inside him that was absolutely tearing him apart.

The guilt.

~.~

Rory despised being human; she despised the need to eat, she despised the need to sleep... but first and foremost, she despised having emotions. And every time she ever felt like they were overwhelming her, she always put her work in front of every other need of hers.

But now, she also felt like the worst person in the whole universe — they were back on Ganymede, Jet's origin place. Rory knew he had some unfinished business with the woman he was once in love with, yet still, she stayed in her workshop instead of supporting him.

"Ed thinks you're sad. Why are you sad?" The little redhead girl appeared in front of Rory's platform, making her almost jump in fear at the unexpected sight of her.

"Jesus, Ed, you're going to give me a heart attack," she mumbled, picking up the hammer she had just dropped.

"Why are you sad?" She repeated, laying down on the ground.

"I'm not, Ed," she continued and as she was trying to reach for her screwdriver she realized it was gone. "Hey, give it back," she called after Ed who was playing with the tool.

"Why are you sad?"

"Ed, it's not funny!" Rory called after the girl, yet the next thing she saw was the kid running away with her screwdriver.

"Why are you sad? Why are you sad?" Ed sang, causing Rory to chase her around the ship. The scenery seemed completely out of place for the third person's perspective; a woman in the clothes covered in grease and engine oil, running after a redhead with her googles on.

Little did Rory know, the chase lead her to the outside part of the ship, where Spike's ship was currently located. It looked like an absolute mess; the red metal parts almost coming off, dirt stains all over it. Rory remembered she was supposed to fix the Swordfish, yet Spike hadn't asked her to, as he usually did; another thing that felt almost like a stab in her back, although being completely unrelated to the situation.

"Why are you sad, Ray-Ray?" Ed continued as they both found themselves outside the Bebop's hangar.

"For the last time, Edward! Give me my screwdriver back!" Rory demanded, her expression sour at the nickname the girl had just given her.

"Ray-Ray, why is he there?" Ed asked, pointing at the side of the ship of which Spike was holding onto frantically. Rory looked down, only to see the dark-haired man with a metal wrench in his hand, looking like he was almost fighting not to fall down to the cold water.

"Hey," he said, almost like he was position wasn't concerning at all.

"Hey," Rory responded in the same manner, holding her hand in front of her. "Need help?"

"Thanks," he casually said, accepting her hand as she pulled him up.

"Ray-Ray, why are you..?"

"Ed, for gods sake, can you stop?" Rory warned the girl once more as she looked at her surprised, finally handing her screwdriver over.

"Ed knows why were you sad!" She exclaimed happily and not a minute later she dived into the water, Spike was so desperate not to fell in.

"Were you, Ray-Ray?" Spike repeated the nickname Ed gave the woman, raising up both of his brows.

"Was I?" Rory asked herself sarcastically, attaching the returned screwdriver to her belt. "Your ship looks like trash," she claimed, taking a closer look at the Swordfish. "If you want to do repairs yourself, you should start with the top part, it's falling apart," she noted, crossing her arms.

"You don't say," he mocked her, standing next to her. "Look, Rory..."

"Shut up and give me that wrench," she interrupted him, crawling onto the platform, so she could fix his ship herself. Spike looked at her, confused, only to give her the tool she asked for.

She let herself become absorbed in the work, trying her best not to look at the man. She tried unbelievably hard not to start a conversation with him, telling herself they would both benefit from it. Spike didn't enjoy her company either ways, or that's what she had been telling herself since yesterday. She figured out that distancing herself from Spike would be the greatest idea she could've ever came up with...

Even if it unimaginably hurt her.

It was the right decision, especially now, when she was sure he wasn't interested in her in the slightest.

"You have to promise me if Jet asks for your assistance today you're going to help him," she said after ten minutes of silence that almost seemed for both her and Spike like an eternity.

"Where's he anyways?" Spike asked, while working on the bottom part of his ship.

"The past is catching up to him... and I'm afraid I can't help him if he gets in trouble," she briefly explained, polishing the metal part than seemed to sunken from some sort of a bump. "Spike?" Rory finally addressed him directly, getting ready to say the things she had finally made up in her mind.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry for being obnoxious, I'll try to be a simple crew mate the next time something happens," she stated, her glance not meeting his for even a slight a moment.

"Sure," he responded without any sight of care.

It was just what he expected, right?

Then why did he feel like he had just made a mistake?

taglist: @nathaslosttheirshit​ @chai-blu @envythevamp @aliensandthings @kagun3s

[keith-the-hoe]

The Glimmer Hoes Master Plan| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: [X]

Episode Two: [X]

Episode Three: American Tour

Episode Four: [X]

Episode Five: [X]

Warnings:

This story will contain violence, sex scenes and a shit ton of foul language. It may also cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and fall into a state of confusion. Do not read if you are under the age of 16. Read at your own risk. Or Keef will eat your grandma.

Cast:

Mick Jagger

Keith Richards

Charlie Watts

Ronnie Wood

Bill Wyman

----------------

After the huge massacre in California, The Rolling Stones were on the run again. Keef was super ugly and devastated from his buddy, Mick, being brutally killed by the sus one. Who was going to sing for them? Charlie and Bill were sitting in the back seat with Mick's body next to them. Their van had broke down when they were out camping in the desert. So they elected Keef to push the van to the nearest town.

"Ah jeez..... Now who is going to be our whore front man?" Keef asked while he struggled to push the van over a speed bump.

"You do it" Billl said as he keep trying to get the body from touching him.

The Rolling Stones stopped by a mechanic shop that was also a coffee shop. California was burning hot. The sun was shining down on Keef so he took his clothes off. Bill and Charlie stepped out of the van and stood in front of the coffee shop.

"Hmm.... Some coffee wouldn't be so bad right now." Bill said to Charlie.

The only problem was, they didn't have any money on them. But Keef did so this whole sentence doesn't work at all. He took out a bunch of crumbled up dollar bills from his underpants. Penis money was what he always called it in case of emergencies. Bill didn't want to touch it so he told him to hold onto it. They walked into the coffee shop. There was no one in there but some weird guy with a big nose reading a news paper. They all sat down at the counter and waited for someone to attend them. A lady with a cheese ball outfit went up to them to take their order. Keef really wanted bananas. Bill and Charlie just ordered eggs and bacon like normies do at coffee shops. Keef kept spinning around his stool and noticed that the big nose whore was looking at them. He got sus so he just walked in the bathroom to take a piss. Or at least that what he made big nose whore think. Keef walked over to the mechanic shop to check on their van. Then he remembered that he left Mick in there. He went into a panic. Bill and Charlie had already taken him out of the van but didn't tell him. Keef searched the van but didn't see him in there. Charlie went outside to see what kind of shenanigans he's up to this time. Keef turned into a mad monkey.

"Jesus! Calm down you fooking dumb fuck of a monkey!" Charlie said. "If you're looking for whore Mick, we hid him behind the dumpster until the van gets fixed."

Keef just stared at him. He felt better now that he knew that his side hoe was okay. He walked around the mechanic shop and saw a bunch of car parts. He got a very good idea. He grabbed the parts, some oil cans, and his guitars. Told ya they might come in handy for later. Charlie stood there in confusion watching Keef once again do something stupid.

"Be hold!!" Keef yelled.

Charlie rolled his eyes at him. He seriously wondered why he's even in a shitty ass band with a very stupid monkey. Keith removed the tarp from his very fantastic creation.

"Wot in the actual fuck did you just make?" Charlie asked sounding annoyed.

Keef chuckled. "You dummy! It's Mick!" He said as he leaned on it only to knock it over. He has built a cyborg Mick as a replacement for the real Mick. Charlie was not amused. Bill came out of the coffee shop with the big nose whore holding a knife to his neck. He was pretty calm about it. Charlie panicked.

"Woah woah! Hey! easy there cowboy! Put the knife down! We can talk this through!" Keef said as he slowly walked up to them.

Charlie was examining the piece of junk. He was trying to figure out how it worked. Cyborg Mick smacked him hard in the head and did Jagger moves.

"Wot is that?" Bill asked as big nose whore held the knife closer to his neck. He remained calm.

Keef explained since they no longer had the real Mick, they could use a artificial one. He programmed it to be exactly like Mick. He even gave him a dick since Mick LOVES to be screwing around with random ass hoes. Charlie cut him off by yelling at him that Bill is being held hostage.

"Oh.... right.... that....." Keef said with a nervous chuckle.

He slowly approached them but big nose whore kept walking away. Keef threw a punch only to get his arm sliced by the knife.

"Owie! Damn! I need this arm to play guitar!! Son of a bitch!" He yelled as he threw a rock at Charlie.

"You play guitar?" Big Nose Whore asked. Bill used the opportunity to run to Charlie and jumped in his arms. Just imagine that though lol. Keef looked at them both confused but he ignored them. Cyborg Mick went up to Keef and big nose whore.

"Greetings, I am Mick Jagger, yes this Monkey whore plays guitar." He said.

Big Nose Whore put his knife away and began to laugh his ass off.

"Well why didn't you say so!? Bitch I play guitar as well!" He said.

Bill and Charlie rolled their eyes. Just what they needed, another dumbass. The van was up and running again. The Rolling Stones were relieved to finally have a working vehicle. Keef and big nose whore became besties and offered to give him a ride. The only thing he wanted to ride was- okay don't be nasty. He accepted the offer and hopped in the van. He sat next to Bill who was already annoyed by his presence. Cyborg Mick kept smacking Charlie in the head.

"Jesus! Keith get your damn sex robot under control!" He yelled.

Keith scratched his head trying to figure out why Cyborg Mick did that. He figured that he set it to fightey mode instead of normal Mick mode. He turned the switch which got Keith's balls kicked. He screamed in pain and Big Nose Whore just laughed at him. Charlie seriously wondered how he even ended up being stuck with a bunch of idiots. Bill also wondered the same thing. They also later learned that Big Nose Whore's name is Ronnie because of course it was. They also learned that he bites people. They had to find that one out the hard way. Keith began to discuss how they're going to be touring with a broken robot and a missing rhythm guitarist. Ronnie got a splendid idea. He drank orange juice. So really he didn't have a splendid idea. I know how to grammar properly.

"Assholes I can be your rhythm guitarist." He suggested.

Charlie said no. He was not about to deal with another dumbass that was going to kill his bestie. He just wanted to go home. Cyborg Mick yelled at Charlie to shut up and he doesn't get to make the decisions around here. A tear ran down his face. Cyborg Mick accepted Ronnie to be a part of the band.

"Sweet! So where are we headed?" He said with a wide smile.

Cyborg Mick started doing weird beeping sounds. Keef programmed him to be their GPS which he didn't even know he could do. They got directions to a small motel near a small town in San Francisco. They didn't question it and drove there.

"Ooooh motels are quite fun, they have all sorts of things to do there." Ronnie explained.

"I hate motels." Bill replied as he lit a cigarette.

"Oh shut it you! You love going there to screw every single girl you lay eyes on!" Keef yelled.

"I have a wife." Charlie said.

"Why screw girls when we can screw each other!" Ronnie replied.

The whole van turned into an argument about fucking people. Cyborg Mick just kept driving without saying a single work to them. He was super horny though, just like the real Mick. Only thing is, this one actually has a dick, unlike the real Mick. They parked in front of the lobby. The van went silent. The Rolling Stones all slowly looked at each other. Who was going to go in there and ask for rooms?

"Alright....." Keef said in a low voice. "In the count of three...... One-"

They all touch their noses as they yelled "NOT IT" even though Keith wasn't even at three. That meant that he had to go in there and ask for rooms.

"Ugh! Son of a bitch! Why do I have to do everything!? Jesus you all don't work for shit! The only thing you all are able to do is be a bunch of whores!" Keith said as he stepped out of the van. Then there was another problem. Who was going to share rooms? Bill and Charlie looked at each other. Guess they're sharing rooms. Keith stood in front of the lobby as the secretary checked for any available rooms. Turns out there was one room with a king sized bed and one with two singles. Keith sighed deeply and paid without any further questions. He walked over to the van to tell them about the rooms. Ronnie claimed the room with two singles. Cyborg Mick also claimed that room. That left with Bill, Charlie and Keith with the room with a king sized bed. This was going to be an awkward night. Bill and Charlie told Keith to fuck off. They didn't want a monkey to be sleeping in the same bed as them. Cyborg Mick put his arm around Keith.

"Me and you can share beds...." He said seductively.

Keith actually didn't mind sleeping in the same bed with Mick. He's his buddy and he's known him since they were in nappies. So he agreed to doing so. Bill hates them both so much that he is planning on doing some murdering. The Rolling Stones went to their room. Cyborg Mick went a little overboard and took Keith to bed with him. Ronnie just stood there eating Doritos that he found in the bathroom. Just another normal day for him.

"Oooh! Make sure to not scratch him up a bit with all of those metal bolts in there....." Ronnie suggested.

Keith just glared at him but then he got a stupendous idea. He removed his clothes. Ronnie was completely lost and wondered why he just did that. Cyborg Mick got turned on by such view.

"Wow! The Rolling Stones really are a wild band! I'm so glad I am a part of it!" Ronnie yelled in excitement. He looked around the room. There were a bunch of used rubbers stuck on them. Beautiful decorating. Cyborg Mick stretched his arm out and pulled Ronnie into bed. They all laid on top of each other and got really funky. Bill and Charlie, who were in a room over, were sitting on the bed watching the telly. Strange noises were coming from the room that Keith was staying in. Bill shook his head in disappointment.

"We haven't even been here for 2 seconds and they're already screwing around? Jesus can there be a-" Bill said as Charlie cut him off with a smack. Bill is a big hoe so the things he is complaining about are extremely irrelevant so he cannot be talking and that is on period 💅. They heard a loud boom outside where the pool was. Charlie was certain that Keith, Mick and Ronnie were up to no good so he went out to check. He saw a telly on the first floor. Turns out Led Zeppelin were also staying in those motels and were the ones who threw the telly out their window. Charlie hated them. He went back inside of his room only to see a naked Bill laying in bed with a bunch of rose petals and candles around him. He was genuinely confused.

"Hey babe..... Why don't you come over here and have some fun eh?" Bill said in a low voice.

Charlie just wanted to go home because according to him, he is happier there then when he is with the stones. Haha I'm using his words against him. He sighed and just went with the flow because Yolo. They really got into it up until they heard screaming from the other room. Bill and Charlie looked at each other.

"Oh wow, they seem to be having a very splendid and wild time...." Bill said.

Charlie rolled his eyes and decided to just ignore them. Keith bursted into the room. He was covered in blood. Bill and Charlie just stared at him with a scared look.

"I-its not wot it looks like....." Bill said with an awkward chuckle.

Keith was breathing heavily and couldn't gather his words. He just began to babble and making hand gestures and so on and so forth.

"Jesus! Use your words bitch!" Charlie yelled.

Keith finally calmed down. "That fucking robot piece of junk just tried to kill me!" He yelled.

Charlie looked at him from head to toe. He was seriously done with The Rolling Stones. He didn't even want to know why he was naked and covered in blood. Ronnie came running in also naked and covered in blood. Charlie just sighed in disappointment. Why is he in a band full of dumbasses.

"Why are you both naked and covered in blood?" Bill asked as he lit a cigarette.

Turns out Cyborg Mick was set in fightey mode instead of sexy time mode and had tried to kill them both by using chainsaws and cheeseballs. He managed to injure Ronnie which caused a whole bunch of blood splattering meaning that he is slowly dying. Charlie had to act fast because clearly these idiots are not going to do so. They all put their clothes back on but Keith couldn't find his pants. Too bad he deserves it. The Rolling Stones jumped in the van that had been vandalized by Led Zeppelin.

"Ughh those fucking hippie bastards!" Charlie yelled as he set the van to drive. Keith held Ronnie's hand. He didn't want to lose him. He has only known him for 5 hours. Ronnie didn't seem to have a problem about the fact that he got attacked by a Mick robot. He just kept smiling and bullied Charlie for having a unibrow.

[abizarreyodelingincident]

(LU) Ridiculous Optimization: The Art of Finding the Right Tool for the Wrong Situation

Chapter one: They're big pots, really

Wild's Hyrule was, for lack of a better word, a pain.

Now, if you were Warriors, who regularly tangled with nobles and their ilks as part of his duties, you might describe it as 'a temporary yet persistent sort of agony, so scandalous, good sirs and ladies'. Or, if you were Sky, who serenaded his Zelda with loving devotion, the description might resemble 'a land broken but resisting, a primal kingdom for the ambitious to remake'.

But the average Link was neither, and the general sentiment came out as 'Wild's Hyrule is a giant pain'. (One should recall that both Legend and Wind existed in the general sample and drastically lowered the ability to describe Wild's Hyrule in polite company.)

The weather conditions were, all in all, quite tolerable outside of the occasional lightning storms which threatened to violently roast them all (Time especially). Wild's one recurring grip being the rain making it impossible to climb cliff sides and barely-standing-towers – which, in all honesty, had become Twilight's favorite weather for this exact same reason.

The few tribes of monsters could provoke violent swearing, in good part after the Links had assimilated the color system that ruled Wild's Hyrule. (Four could never look at golden monsters the same way now.) No, no, a Link knew to adapt to their circumstances and would learn all the right tricks to fighting any sort of monster that showed up in his path.

In fact, Time had gone on record to say that he'd gone on an adventure in a much more stressful kingdom, because at least the moon was only red and not looming.

The real challenge was so many of his enemies being outright mini-bosses at least. Wind's Hero's Charm had confirmed their health being far superior to the average roaming monster, and, to the general disbelief, added that no, Lynels did not count as minibosses for some goddesses-forsaken reason.

“That's three!” Warriors called out, slashing away at one twisting limbs. “One to go!”

“Get down!” Hyrule shouted just in time for Warriors to duck under a blue-ish laser.

The two heroes felt air woosh over their backs, cold and sharp despite the explosion that ravaged a rock formation down the hill. Despite the sheer damage done, none of them gave the ruins even a passing glance. Normally, some Link like Four would wonder out loud about the marvels of technology that had led to the creations of robots as powerful as the Guardians. That would, unjustly, earn him a slap upside the head from the others who just wanted them all exterminated.

But, if anything, their mechanical structure should be glorified, as unlike almost every other enemies the Links met in their travels, the Guardians could not be further enhanced by black blood.

No, the Guardians were a special pain in the Links' anatomies all on their own.

Legend had already written down the tirade he reserved for the Sheika elders that had thought beamos weren't mobile and powerful enough in his journal. One day, he would travel to the past of Wild's Hyrule and give them all the dressing down they deserved and it would be beautiful.

Three grappling hooks latched onto the last Guardian's limbs just in time to stop it from running over the downed Warriors and Hyrule. Now, against, say, a Lynel or an Hinox, pulling such a maneuver might have given the monster pause, but the Guardian's head merely rotated and aimed its tracking light at Time.

He alongside Twilight and Sky dispersed to avoid the lightning quick retaliation and even then, Sky felt the flames lick at his heels.

Rolling away, he ended up in a huddle close with Legend and Four, behind a large, mossy rock. "You know," Sky said, nervously chatting instead of saving his breath, "they kind of remind me of pots."

Legend's eyes twitched. “Ah, yes, they're tougher than most of my bosses, faster too, shoot laser beams, but they are a little round-ish. I see the resemblance.”

"Oh!" Four exclaimed, thunderstruck. "I've got it! Cover me," he shouted to the others.  

Without even a moment's consultation, Wind and Wild both rushed out of their hiding spots and pelted the Guardian with bombs, their supplies of arrows depleted during the ambush. It only made the Guardian's base tilt slightly, though, a few seconds were all Four really needed. His hands found the handle of the cane with the ease of many adventures' worth of practice.

Not a second too soon either, for one of the Guardian's limbs had snaked through the barrage and swept Wind aside. And now threatened to grab the little rolling pirate.

Four swung the twisted branch. A staff, Wild realized as a glittering ball of energy flew off its head and struck the guardian head on. For a split second, he allowed himself to hope that it would have a bit of an effect on the thing. He'd seen (schemed for, though he never admitted it to Twilight) a Guardian struck by lightning before, and it had shrugged it off as easily as a breeze. Those things just wouldn't-

The Guardian flipped over.

Wind's shocked cursing translated the general gobsmacked bafflement of the eight heroes over five feet tall.

The Guardian landed on its head, its top carvings digging into the soil. The legs frantically expanded to try and right it, but could find no purchase. Their articulations had not been created to allow the legs to reach the head area. Combining those facts effectively condemned the feared contraction to reenact a flipped turtle's dying moments, with half the dignity.  

Wild staggered backward into Time's waiting arms. “Wh-what, I don't… how?”

“Magic,” Time replied with the air of a wise old man, “you never know what kind of stuff it can do. Also,” he cleared his throat and spoke louder, “watch out for the laser beam, boys."

Hyrule and Wind flinched back from the upside down Guardian, like kids with their hands down the cookie jar. The eye turned from blue to red.

"It only shoots in a straight line," Wild said, recovering from his shock.

The dreaded red dot stuttered in place, stuck in a very narrow margin.

“Yeah, but can't it turn its head?” Hyrule asked hesitantly, not looking away from the dot.

They distinctively heard the noise of some gears inside the thing turning, like a low-humming buzz of energy. Where the head met the body, the whirring flashed in rapid succession.

The head remained unmoving.

The other half of the guardian span.

“It's going to start flying now,” Wind said with clear apprehension.

Twilight nodded to that. The motion was eerily similar to a mad peahat preparing to soar the skies.

Legend shot them both an annoyed look. “With those legs?”

“It's a Guardian!” Wind protested. “They don't just fucking flip over and die?”

As if to punctuate the point, the Guardian's beam shot out of its frantically beeping eye. And, as if to immediately contradict itself, the beam missed them all by a mile, roughly, though it did strike on a stray lizalfos.

“Huh, didn't notice that one,” Warriors mumbled, as Legend burst out laughing at the madness of it all.  “What kind of item is that anyway?”

Four gave the twig a twirl. "The Cane of Pacci. It flips things over."

Legend scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "What kind of wizards gives their name to a staff that's good for flipping things over? I know magic-users can be lazy bastards, but that's a bit much, even for me."

Four shrugged, unfazed. "Who knows? It came in handy surprisingly often. Case in point," he waved an arm toward the flipped guardian.

A shrieking noise caught them off-guard, momentarily.

Wind had lodged a giant broadsword in the guardian's eye up to its hilt. The whirring machinery slowed, smoke leaking out of its gears and plates. If it hadn't been made completely helpless before, it certainly was now. Warrior looked inordinately fond of their young and bloodthirsty pirate for finishing off a helpless killing machine.

“Four,” Wild said, his face frozen in the most serious expression any of them (except Twilight) had ever seen.

“W-what?” Four replied, startled by the hands grabbing his shoulders.

“Name your price. Do you want rupees?” Wild asked, pulling out his slate. “Because I will bury you under more rupees than you've ever seen before.”

“Anyone else feels like that came out vaguely threatening?” Hyrule pondered.

“Vaguely?” Legend snarked, prompting Twilight to facepalm.

Wild apparently heard nothing but the silence Four was shoving his way. His voice hiked up in pitch. “Armor? I've got more sets of armors than I know what to do with them? Ancient Sheika armor? It's super mechanical, you like mechanisms, right?”

Four raised an eyebrow. “I like understanding how they work. Can you imagine me wearing your stuff? I would have trouble moving.”

“My recipe book?” Wild tried again, desperation creeping in his voice. “It's not written yet, but I can do that. Four, please?”

Twilight gasped. Hyrule's stomach loudly growled. And the rest nodded sagely. Wild truly was pulling out all the stops to get his hands on that cane, besides outright theft (which none of them were exactly strangers to).

“… No.”

The fingers let go of his shoulders, now aching from the grip.

“I thought we were brothers,” Wild whispered, leaning against Twilight for support. “Backstabbed like nothing.”

“I do actually need that item, you know?” Four replied, halfway between amused and annoyed.

"Alright, boys, no fighting," Time announced, his mouth struggling not to stretch into a smirk, "and new strategy. If we run into a guardian, we let Four handle it. All in favor?"

The surge of agreement ranged from 'mildly sorry' (Sky) to 'gleeful' (Legend, of course, and Wild).

"Oh come on!"

BONUS:

The eight Links stared at the Guardian stumbling over the fields of Wild's Hyrule whilst Twilight mimed around like a drunk puppeteer. Wind's pictograph was out and flashing the moment the herd of bokoblins shrieked in panic and fled for their lives from the clearly malfunctioning monstrosity. Wild's Sheika Slate had been given to Hyrule for the task of recording the moments whilst he mourned yet another way the Goddesses had seen fit not to help him fight off Guardians.

“Anyone else feels a little sorry for them?” Sky asked, scratching his head as the camp was bulldozed through.

“Not as such, no,” Hyrule replied without skipping a beat. He might also have a few bruises on his shoulder from their last encounter.

“How do you laser with this thing?” Twilight grumbled, face scrunched up in concentration.

“Pfft, it had to be the bumpkins that gets the power to control ancient automatons,” Legend snarked, his hat still fuming from where he had dodged the Guardian's first beam.

In the distance, the bokoblins suddenly exploded.

“Ah, unbridled rage,” Twilight deadpanned. “That'll do.”

The Links carefully took a step back. And didn't get closer until Twilight had driven the Guardian off a cliff. You never knew with the quiet ones. The second the possession was over, however, Wild broke through the ranks with a determined look, opened his mouth-

And Twilight beat him to the punch. “Your recipe book.”

“Deal.”

“YES!”

“Wait,” Four called, narrowly avoiding the death glare Wild sent him, “are you sure you won't need it when this is over.”

Twilight shrugged. “I mean, I've used it all of once after I finished the dungeon with it? My Hyrule's not exactly big on statues and contraptions to magically possess. Good food though? Not like I'll ever stop having to need that.”

“Spoken like a true bumpkin.”

Poor Legend never saw Wild leap through the air with the righteous fury of an avenging angel to defend the honor of his mentor, the best man he ever met and the soon-to-be recipient of a great deal of cakes.

NOTE:

The thought process went like this:

Tumblr post noting that Guardians look like an ancient pottery art from thousands of years ago. TLDR: The Guardians are Elder Pots awakened to take revenge on all the Links for their fallen brethren.

Guardians can't touch Link if he climbs on their head.

Minish Cap includes an item that flips pots over (to open minish gates, but shh, who cares?)

Ergo, Four can one-shot guardians.

Twilight's just there, because I took pity on Wild and the Dominion Rod is absolutely useless after its dungeon. Not like Twilight would miss it.

[longingfreesia]

visitations | ao3 mirror

mad paradox visits the alternate selves he comes across wading through time every now and then.

note: once upon a time, before i saw his 3rd job advancement cutscene, i "entertained" the idea of dominator creating grace as part of his “perfect virtual world.” then i watched it and realized ‘oh, shit, he moved on actually’ and scrapped it all. this is kind of a result of that, and me going “hm. i wonder if he won’t do that for himself he’d do it for mp” which he probably wouldn’t but will that stop me? this exists so the answer is no

also i dont know how to tag “mp kinda beats up dom.” its not too bad i think but just be aware of that i guess

previous “chapter”

Paradox watches his counterpart in silence for a moment. Was it perverse to take an odd fascination in observing people when they thought they were alone? It didn’t matter to him, and no one knew about it in any case.

Either way, no matter how fascinating it was, it was boring. His counterpart usually had something interesting for him to mess with, it was worth a shot.

“You're open.”

Dom startles, then softens when he sees Paradox. “I suppose I am now. Hello, Paradox.”

“Hello.” Paras eyes seem especially big, now, staring down at his counterpart.

“Was there something you needed?” Dom asks.

“No. I just wanted to be here.”

“Mm. I suppose that's fine. Don't bother me, though, I'm working on something very important.”

Paradox frowns, nose scrunching up and only further accentuating his round face. This other self treats him more like a child. ...Sometimes it's alright, but other timesーlike nowーit irritates him.

“Tell me what it is.”

Dom chuckles. “Insistent as always. Well, it's…” he waves his hand in circles by the side of his head, as if thinking, “virtual reality. Of sorts.” He gains that ever annoying ‘I know something you don't’ tone of voice. “Do you want to see it?”

“Show it to me.”

Dom nods. “Follow me.”

Dominator leads him into a decently sized space off of his lab. This was new, but it hadn't been added to the building, just cleared out… What did he need such a large dedicated space for? And entirely empty, at that...

“Close your eyes.” Dom says.

“No.”

Dom grimaces and rolls his eyes. “Alright, fine, but don't blame me if it ruins the magic.”

His dynamos swirl around him, following each other in a perfect line as they form a circle spanning the empty space. The thin lines sought through them glow, brighter and brighter until they split open, a jagged, mechanical motion they all execute in unison.

A wall appears around them. It looks like the same type of hologram Dom uses for his keyboards, that kind of thing.

A landscape appears before them, and Paras eyes go wide. The ground beneath their feet turns grassy and soft, and the walls formed by the dynamos looks as if nonexistent now, giving way in favor of a lush expanse of green and a clear sky, seemingly infinite. A large tree thrives in the distance. So this was what his counterpart worked on so tirelessly? At the very least, it was an impressive show of skill.

“This part… is something I have worked on for countless ages. I'm particularly excited to show you.” Dom says, and his voice sounds odd in a way Paradox can't name. “I implore you to close your eyes now.”

Paradox shakes his head. “No.”

Dominator sighs, then, “...Please?”

Wow, please? He was truly desperate, then. “Fine.” Paradox lets his eyes fall closed, and he hears the sound of something shimmering.

“Don't open them until I say.” Dom instructs, and Paradox grumbles. He doesn't like being told what to do. This had better be spectacular.

“Hello,” He hears Dominator whisper. “Are you ready?” What is he talking about? More importantly, who is he talking to? No one else was with them.

“Open your eyes now.”

Paradox does, and feels his heart drop.

A woman with long, white hair and a gentle face stands in front of him, smiling. Her clothes and aura make her seem almost angelic. Her shoulders rise as she smiles even wider, and says, “Hello, Add.”

Paradox, suddenly, cannot breathe. His arms fall limp at his sides and he's fairly certain he looks like an idiot but oh god, he can't breathe.

“How is it?” Dominator asks, seeming satisfied.

It takes a long moment for Paradox to remember how to speak. “That's…”

The woman kneels down in front of Paradox, taking his hand in hers. “Your hair is all a mess... “ A light, tinkling laugh. “Do you need me around to take care of it, even now? It's alright, I will. It's always made me happy to care for you.”

Paradox feels a foreign feeling set alight in his chest, in his throat. He doesn't like it. He hates it. He wants it to stop.

“That's… not… mom.” He mumbles.

“Hm? Ah, no, it's not, but…”

“That's… NOT mom!” Paras voice suddenly raises higher than Dom has ever heard it go, and he tears his hand out of not-Graces. Her face remains unchanging, unfazed by his outburst.

“...I see. It's not good enough, thenー”

“That's not mom! How dare you! How DARE youー” Paradox feels rage seething through his chest, up to his face, bringing hot, angry tears to his eyes. “How COULD you? You'd disrespect her like that? You'd ever think some fucking HOLOGRAM could EVER replace her?” This wasn't good for him, he feels his emotions causing him to lose his focus, lose his grip on realityーhe didn't care. He didn't care, he didn't care, he didn't care.

Dominator throws his hands up, and the simulation dissipates, leaving them back in the empty room they started in. Paradox faintly registers not-Graces face melting into pixels and light, smile never fading in the slightest through it all. Too much. “It wasn't meant to replaceー”

“Bullshit!” Paradox cries. “What else could it be? What other purpose could that have?! Stop trying to lie to me! I’m not fucking stupid!”

“Calm down. It was just a simulation, nothing more. It could never replace her, and it never would. I just wanted to experimentー”

“Exー She’s not yours to experiment on! Is that what everything is to you? Something for you to screw around with like some kind of lab rat?”

Dominator snarls. “Where did you get that idea from? I’ve never insinuated anything of the sort. Maybe you should stop making things up, the time-traveling might be affecting you worse than you’re aware.”

Of course he was being snarky, even now. Even now, even now, after something like that. Paradox can feel his body fighting him, losing his cool and the thin web of will keeping himself together. He didn’t let his emotions run from him like this, not usually, but this wasn’t normal, and more importantly, this was unforgivable.

“Fuck off.” Paradox mutters, trying one last time to compose himself before his body decides for him.

Dominator shrugs. “I tried to do something nice for you. It’s your own fault you can’t handle it. I’ve tried to help you move on from her, but you won’t liー”

“FUCK OFF!” Paradox shrieks, flying for Dominators throat. His eyes go wide seeing Paras form change, twisted and messy the same way the man himself is. He barely registers long, mangy hair and sharp teeth before his back hits the ground and the air is knocked out of his lungs.

“I thought you knew anything. I thought you understood, I thought you knew anything at ALL about how I felt.” His tone lilts up at the end, trailing into near hysterical laughter. Dominators gaze frantically flits around the room, attempting to order his dynamos to assist him.

Paradox rips Doms earpiece out and can hardly hear it when the man beneath him screams. He goes the extra mile and brings clawed hands down on the fallen batteries on Dominators sides. A loud clattering is heard as the dynamos fall.

“Don't try that. I hate you. I fucking HATE you. I can't believe I ever thought you'd get it.”

Dom can see more of the blinding ‘glitch’ of Paras body, now. This close to him, it almost burns. His hair floats impossibly behind him. He grins, and sharp teeth flash and send fear shooting down Doms spine. He's pinned, and there's not much he can do about it. Piling onto that fear like painful rocks was barely being able to breathe, or hearーthe angry voice above him was muffled, as if they were underwater, and the ringing, god, the ringing... Even if he did try to respond, it would only come out a broken wheeze.

“I should kill you. I should kill you for hurting her.” Paradox mutters, then laughs. “Was that some kind of sick fucking joke? Do you enjoy tormenting meーbastardizing her?” Claws dig into Doms shoulder. He's sure he's bleeding, but not enough to seep through his jackets. He can, however, certainly feel blood trickling from his ears from his earpiece being torn out. Motherfucker.

“Were you trying to piss me off? Be honest or I’ll tear your throat out. We both know I’m not screwing around.” Paradox glares down at him, rows of deadly teeth grit hard.

Dominator blearily grasps at Paras hands at his shoulders, knowing he couldn’t shove the flickering mass of ‘man’ off of him if he tried, but figuring he’d be damned if he didn’t at least struggle. It goes about as well as he expected it to, and he winces when Paradox expectedly retaliates.

“Can you not even speak? Can you not even own up to what you’ve done?” He cackles lowly, looking as if he were staring down his prey at Dominator. “Did I hit you that hard? Are you that weak? I thought you were better than that…” His expression shifts to a twisted mix of amusement-turned-disgust. “The version of myself in this timeline is pathetic too. I should’ve known, shouldn’t I?” The claws dig even further into Dominators flesh, now, and all he can manage is a pained rasp.

Paradox suddenly jerks himself up from the ground, taking Dominator with him, only to throw him back to the ground once he’s risen. Dominator grabs at his chest, coughing. His attempt at rising to his feet, or even just sitting up, fails miserably.

“It won’t do any good to kill you, will it?” His gaze is back to being empty, as it usually was, butーbut his eyes were so wide and wild, they didn’t seem to belong on such a hard face as he was making now. It hardly moves as he says, “I’ve seen enough dead versions of myself. I’ll leave you to your miserable false world. You can rot there alone. Howeverー”

His body distorts, and seems to flash back to that of a child when Dominator blinks. No, that’s not right. “I want you to etch it into your entitled brain that if I’m ever unfortunate enough to cross into this timeline again, I won’t care anymore about needless death.”

Paradox is blindingly bright, and Dominators head throbs from the flash and the beating against the floor. When he opens his eyes again, there’s nothing there but a ragged scar upon the ground where he had been, and a clear mark of his damage evident in Dominators appearance.

His glove comes back bloody when he presses his fingers to his collar. He’ll have to repair his dynamos’ batteries, but before then, find some kind of medical care since they’re unavailable to take care of it for him… How bothersome.

[ripplestitchskein]

You put into words exactly what I feel about how they've written her. To me, all I keep thinking of is mid s4 where she's like "Here's you heart, now I've got to do shots with Regina because she needs me more." It's just bad storytelling. It also makes me hate Regina, because a lot of Emma dealing with these issues is siphoned off into propping up the "Regina and Emma are friends" plot they keep to feed us. I don't even know if they are aware of how Emma comes across to the audience. 1/2

And I'm right with you on the TL thing. If that's what they want to sell, they are not going about it the right way at all. And it's like you said, it doesn't matter what we infer when there is nothing implicitly said in canon. What exactly are we supposed to take away from their relationship at this point? That it's okay for one person to do all the heavy lifting because the other one has "issues"? It just leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. 

This brings up a really interesting point and since a lot of people have talked about Emma's reactions in the context of their own relationship I figured why not explain why I'm so uncomfortable with it in the context of mine. Maybe that will help people understand my personal reaction. In no way am I assigning this to the characters mind you. If they choose not to go this route that's fine, I'm just saying why it bothers me as an individual. Under a cut per king and rambling. Shit, can I go on. 

I always identified with CS and Emma and Killian as characters specifically because there are so many similarities to my own life. I've talked about my teenage years, how I moved out at 16, how I got arrested for a boy who then dropped me immediately afterwards while I was dealing with the consequences. Some of the crazy shit that goes along with being a moderately attractive teen girl on her own. Obviously me and Emma are bros. 

But I identify with CS as well. I loved that Killian was all in it for her. I've written meta after meta about it. But I also keep waiting for the reciprocity, and it just hasn't happened yet. S5 HELPED certainly, I mean homegirl went to the Underworld for him, but it was still very one sided and also implied in her conversation with Neal she would have done it regardless, for anyone, if she had the option not to lose them. 

And they have been so shaky in the True Love thing it's easy to see anti arguments sometimes because the show is so muddled now it's less than clear. 

So me. 

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a decade. He's a special case because I was almost exclusively into girls at the time after my failed marriage at the very wise age of 18 for lower car insurance rates. I was not feeling the menfolk. 

We have a very odd dynamic to most people and to our families. They comment and say stupid shit about it all the time. It's actually very similar to DS and Deckhand Hook in LoAL which might be why I find that fic so easy to write. It's not a Dom/Sub dynamic, but it's similar. That's also why I find the CS dynamic in general so easy to write. There is clearly a power imbalance that allows the characters, and me and my boyfriend, to compliment each other very well by forming up the missing pieces so to speak. 

A few people have commented, both positive and negative about the things I've shared here about my life. Asked how I have so much time to fuck around on fic and meta and twitter data analysis. Or been like "goals!" When I talk about something he said or did. 

And the truth is it's because my boyfriend treats me like a Queen. It's a running joke in our house "Because you're a goddamn queen". And not in a superficial way. His life is very much about taking care of our home and our children so my only responsibilities are my career and my school and playing with and enjoying the kids when I'm home because I don't get to see them all day or for several days, and our time together shouldn't be spent on doing chores. I also handle all outside of the house interactions excepting kid wellcheck or sick visits during my work day. (I handle all school meetings, parent teacher conferences, auto mechanics, appliance shopping etc). 

That's what he likes. He doesn't have career aspirations. He doesn't care about work. He has no desire to go to school. He is uncomfortable dealing with those things and making decisions about them. He's not lazy or unintelligent by any means, he just doesn't care about those things. His favorite job was a clerk at a gas station when he was a teen because he saw interesting people and it was low stress. He's not driven by the need to succeed and do well in a certain career field or academically. Those are not motivating factors in his life. He went to work because he had to, he never wanted to be in management or running anything. Nor would he have been particularly good at it. He's very chill and not very assertive. He genuinely enjoys cleaning and cooking and teaching the kids, and doing stuff to make my life easier so it was a no brainer to have him be a Stay At Home Parent when daycare for 3 children became ridiculous. 

It brings him joy to make food I want and bring me special treats and let me have lazy days in bed where he brings me everything I need. In fact how he asked me out and expressed his intentions was getting my favorite things from several different restaurants. He just likes to do stuff like that. We've had several conversations where I tell him he doesn't have to and he's like "You don't get this at all. I want to" 

To many people it looks like I order him around, like he's a servant, like he has no life of his own. In truth I do it because he genuinely doesn't know what's expected of him in family gathering or public situations. I know this. He usually asks me to beforehand. Those situations are scary for him, where to sit, when to eat, where to go to get certain things etc. 

But in exchange for all the things he does for me he pretty much gets to do whatever he wants, and the things he likes are his games and his streaming community. He likes that he doesn't have the burden of providing an income and worrying about social concerns anymore. He can make bread and clean the house, and play games with the kids and spend hours telling them about the solar system. 

We both have anxiety and issues of our own and they manifest in different ways. His are best served by me making decisions and him doing the "heavy lifting" when it comes to the easier to handle day to day. Mine are best served by having daily life minutiae taken care of because otherwise I get overwhelmed on top of higher level concerns that may be more complex, I'm also extremely flighty and live very much in my own head and forget things like lunch or taking my vitamins. 

It could very well seem to an outsider that I take advantage of him, or that he doesn't have a sense of self outside of our relationship and family. Which at the moment is how I feel about Killian. And why it rankles so much. 

Because the difference is that we've talked about it. I've offered him choices. I spent a whole year once trying to find him a hobby because I have 500 and he has like 2 and it was weird to me. At the end of it he was annoyed and was like "This IS what I like doing. Stop trying to force these things on me. I like this." 

Same thing with the house and the kids. I offer to help and it frustrates him because he wants to do it and because he likes it. We've had many many discussions where we check in with each other and make sure we're not assuming things are okay with the dynamic because it was before. Everything he's given up (job, career, etc) was very much his choice, and he wanted to and knew how important those things are to me. 

With Killian its not his choice, he didn't want to, circumstances forced it, but he was *willing* to for Emma. It's just, he's given up so much? Like all the things, and relationships he has are given up to be the best partner. 

And in my dynamic there are very clear benefits for each of us. I don't see the benefits right now for Killian, other than him have someone to love and a reason to be a a better man. Those are great but it also veers into "at the expense of himself" territory at times. We talked about him getting a family and a home, but he's also potentially losing the JR, he's stuck on land, and the family he's gaining don't ever seem to acknowledge him or outright dismiss him and the people who did support him leave.

 I just wish there was more equity. That he still got to retain some of the things he loves, the sea, his ship, his newfound brother, being a Captain, in addition to being all in for Emma and her family, and attentive to her needs. 

There is no reason he can't have both and I don't understand on a show that is very much about "We are Both" why they strip these elements of him away. 

It would be easier to take if it didn't appear like he was doing all the heavy lifting and changing while Emma gets to keep throwing up her walls the moment something gets tough to handle. If she tried to help him get back some of the things he gave up for her once things are settled. She still could. Season isn't over. But at the moment it's been a lot of Killian giving up and not a lot of Emma, and not a lot of being mindful of his feelings or issues and getting to revert back to her own without consequence. 

That's the difference for me. 

It's fine to have a partner who does more of the "heavy lifting" but only if that arrangement is equalized in other areas. Like clearly Killian is distraught and broken up over these things he's sacrificed, he very much reminds people he's still a pirate, just a good one now. And I'd like those facets of him get to remain. For his sacrifices and his effort to be acknowledged beyond "I give him happy kisses and let him hang around."

I dunno. It just bugs me. I need more from the other side to balance this shit out. Hopefully this clears up WHY it bugs me a bit better though. I know this type of dynamic can work, and what it takes to make it work, and not be somewhat unhealthy in terms of imbalance. 

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

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A post shared by ABC World News Tonight (@abcworldnewstonight) on Apr 6, 2020 at 12:14pm PDT

The curve flattened I'm told due to evaporation.

Evaporation is allowed to occur when 3 or more people in one house have COVID-19 and give consent to immediate travel to their home place -- some aliens prefer not to call it a planet but it is

So when they are diagnosed they are sent home in NY state including NYC. And so it's made s remarkable difference in numbers.

The evaporation numbers are electronically recorded live in a databank

So dead bodies to dinosaurs and handle that nasty drama or evaporation and hands free and clean.

And as a doctor or nurse, "you are diagnosed with COVID-19. You will have an adventurous future. Please go home and enjoy your ride. Here's two prescriptions to help you on your life's journey"

I mean really. Try a little flavor.

"Bitch you gonna die yo! Here take this pill so you shut the fuck up while you dien' ain't no one wanna hear you yo! And push this down and suck when you be coughin like you dyin cause you will!!" I mean i Don't even care. What are they gonna do? Complain? When? They about to die. In case they do "I explained the medication use and how to and when to and I said the future is different than it is now. And i need a break. Care to join me away from this soon to be home individual?" now its only for now and i really don't recommend you to talk to someone like that except people like me, just wanna punch some fucking ass holes in the face.

Besides some people find that kind of interaction comical and they actually do prefer it to normal doctor talk. Its humbling. Some get upset like Denise.

And i just walked by Uncle Dad and he said to her when she borrowed $2000 from me and lied it was for bills but it was so she could go to Hawaii and she said "just between you and me i borrow this Don't tell dad" and she was talking about it because I walked by and he said "yeah Denise just between you and me You got a bloody broken nose"

Because he wanted me and my daughter to go. And she borrowed almost all my savings and i didn't have enough for 3 plane tickets to Hawaii when she already had $2,000 and 2 paychecks go in and had over $6000 of her own money on the trip after bills paid. So she had $8000...

And i couldn't go. She she got a busted nose. She was until 6 months ago assisted leader of Zulululu on Eaerth.

She insisted that Nathaniel try to initiate sex with me at that time and lost her rulership.

Because in reality she told him to rape me. That's what she fucking did.

Anyway point. If someone talks in a different manner to a COVID than usual. But isn't abusive as i was not abusive in the passage above i expect it to be excused and accepted and discontinued soon. As it is ONLY for COVID-19 activated and not carriers (which will only show up in DNA4U)

A lot of people The most strong people have been invaded by aliens. The strongest.

And we been beat down. Over and over.

I'm gonna pull out the NHRA because some of them kids are real special to me.

32% are human. 92% of the remaining percentage are alien. That's just the drivers.

72% of mechanics are human. 4% of the remaining are alien. (Cause they're fucking lazy -- not just an opinion)

The rest evil humans.

So of 600 drivers... Take 32 times 6 and you got some fucking number i ain't a calculstor but it's about 3x6 is 18 plus in the ones column 2x6 plus Yoir carry.

192 I'm assuming out of 600.

So that totally isn't right. 32% of drivers. 1/3 of 600 is 200

Fuck tree msn noe he says there's 900 drivers. Makes me laugh

So over 300... Why does the calculator say 288??

Why does this not work? 32% oh is not 33.333% it's less than im all thinking 30% is 1/3.

Fuxk math.

I'm sloppy in math. I have good humor about it tho and tree gets a good chuckle at me because I get so dumb about it. I was looking for 35% which is about 315.

See why Yall need 8 hours or more of restful sleep? Denise kept me up all night acting stupid screaming and then Nathaniel woke me up early worried about his livelihood. So i got me like 4 or 5 hours.

So 288 people surrounded by 900 people.

This is often the case then the remaining (i have a calculator here) 612 people try to drag down the 288 i can clearly see that they are outnumbered by over double

So that is a two on one unfair fight. Two not even being allowed to be on the fucking planet!!

And the one alone to stand or ball up to defend is nearly defenseless.

Then in the NHRA to make matters worse the aliens lie and manipulate to get their mechanics behind them.

So i developed a system that the driver team that wants to fight fights as a team and they have to pay real cash money starting at $10,000 that just goes up and up. If they intend to fight a human and Easter Egg occurs and the aliens that put up the bounty to warrior can't fight and must award all cash to the human ran team. Like Erica Enders.

And if she catches you talking shit after the cash award (usually a wire payment) and she will. She racks up fees and fines aka charges. Then she can beat the shit outta the alien team that has to stand there with their hands at their sides or in their pockets after the pockets are cleared by the awarded team and each person gets 5 hits to the face or ribs then the shit talker gets 10 from each team member from the human side.

Since 2013.

Aliens do not belong on Earth. Many of the drivers are the worst offenders of human trafficking which is why They are allowed in the NHRA so we can spy on them and is why rhe mechanics are so many humans.

Because by default humans hate aliens. Its just a distaste we are programmed and then we feel sorry for them for our programmed hate..

It is a very vicious cycle and very painful. Because we can't stand the way they act or dress or the way they're so fucking happy. And its because they lie and hide who they are from us and we feel it.

Thus the distaste

No matter how hard we try to like them and enjoy being with them the hiding and lying over and over of their true identity is terrible.

Queen hid from me her identity and I was all who the fuck are you? Like it wasn't like i would be rammed if i asked.

She said "pardon?"

And i was like oh shit and i got all red... And i was all oh im sorry I should not talk to her like that she's elder and proper! So i said "im sorry ma'am i was Just wondering who you were"

"Well I'm the fucking Queen!!"

I must had looked like a turnip by then all the blood rushing to my face to feed my brain.

"Of who?! What? Where?!"

"Of England" and she folded her hands in her lap on one side and looked all dignified.

Holy fucking shit who would thought?! Not me!

But an alien will lie "I'm just like you but ...." And never dignify themselves to say they are alien. And it is irritating.

When Queens or Kings don't announce themselves its full of mystery and wonder.

When an alien DOES then it's full of mystery and wonder.

When they don't it's absolutely full blown annoying.

Sometimes we can act like children and allow a person to follow us around and copy every move like the other kid doesn't know how to live. But there comes a point even a child will explode in temper.

They just don't fit on our planet!

Even Venus. Neptune and Mars when they transferred to human Because they earned the right by following the rules we still had to tweak their brains and look and so on.

Neptune looked like Ewoks. They were so fucking cute!!! I love Ewoks. I slept with one forever in my bed when i was a kid - a stuffed one from the store.. A fake non living one. I didn't know. I just felt a lot of love.

And i was being really abused by Denise and Nathaniel and i felt really better to,wake up to its cute little face. It was the one thing Denise didn't try to destroy because she knew the truth about them but she sure didn't tell me.

So although I have and the whole human race has a severe dislike and distaste for the alien race I did ensure that their deaths are one I would want for myself. For my children. For the proper Queen of England who can joke around and make my body feed my brain to keep me alive for one more day.

Something kind.

Evaporation is a slight accordion feeling mainly in the chest and then off they go.

So no one intended for Donald Trump to be running his mouth telling people not to listen to me

Simple bronchitis treatment then home to their families to discuss the ability to leave and when and where. And apparently there's a website you can organize yourselves on so you don't go alone.

I have tried every other way and it was unsuccessful.

I'm not destroying my own planet that was a gift because some aliens are fucking rude.

Im just gonna send their asses home as i should have done long ago.

Its not about being bitter or wanting revenge.

Simple fact is they don't belong here and they have their own home and their own Gods.

Its straining for their Gods to switch between their home and here.

Not my creation. Not my responsibility.

Not the nurses nor doctor nor military.

Not the mailmans nor Amazon's.

When yall voted for an American Revolutionary War 76% voted yes. Of the world wide population of nurses and doctors and health cate professionals 81.5% voted yes. Over 81% voted for a Revolution

So i expect no problems from now and the next 13 days.

24% of Y'all were probably aliens. Tree says... 16 and a half % which then leaves probably evil humans. Snd tree says yes.

So 100% of Humans says yes fuck this shit.

So y'all drink your grocery store wine. Have your cheese. Leave me some extra sharp cheddar but get you some too and get your ice cream. Buckle down and take your tests for money to buy all that. Don't pay no rent nor mortgage

We will talk to car loans i expect. Talk to your car loan providers. I don't want no dude towing your car cause he know it's at home and you didn't pay the monthly payment.

So use your DNA4U to pay your car loans and car insurance and get your food..

Don't be paying baggers online. I got a couple I follow here on Tumblr always a medical or food need. Go on the street corner and work for that yo.

They can get same as you to take a test

Get your student loans deferred.

If you have no DNA4U access and you did and you got an email saying why then you're leaving the planet So click the link and make your arrangements to get on your way.