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somnianus · 3 years ago

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On Eastern dramas vs Western dramas

Part 2: On Theatricality and how it transfers into Chinese/Eastern Dramas and Cinema

Part 1 Part 2

Here, I reference a fantastic article from the Asian Theatre Journal, 2008.

So to recap, the problem I’m exploring is this: Why do some East Asian dramas/movies look so over the top? Overacted? Overemotional? Why is it not more realistic?

My answer is in part 1, on the concept of mo, which is the traditional Chinese thought that emotional revelation is more important than accurate realistic depictions in art. Western audiences are more used to plot-heavy, realistic depictions of dramas, whereas traditional Chinese audiences are used to the opposite. They find the plot not so important, but focus more on the content of the work, the spirit of it, how it makes you feel.

1. How traditional Chinese drama translate into cinema/screens?

Making the jump from Beijing/Peking opera stages, or jingju, to cinema screens caused a lot of trouble.

a. Production-wise, early 1900s

It was difficult to adapt the very open, 3d stage into a “realist flat screen,” which was much more advantageous to Western eyes because the camera lens was invented based on “Renaissance principles of fixed point perspectives and foreshortening.”

b. 1950s-60s

Many still tried to adopt the Beijing opera style into film, but it was still very hard because the two mediums were so contradictory. Beijing opera relied on live, grand aesthetics along with the knowledge that the important aspect of drama was emotion and internal struggle, vs film at the time was very focused on accurate “mimesis,” or imitations of real life. One such example was critics actually laughing about the adaptations because the opera actors mimicked riding a horse in the traditional style - that is, minus the horse. Film would have them ride a prop or real horses.

Eventually, many changes were made to the style to better incorporate it into film, and it still kept a lot of its original roots (i.e. makeup/grandiosity in costume, emotions, etc). Western concepts of a limited stage, and emphasis on plot and tragedy were expounded upon. And eventually you have the modern-day dramas (1970s+).

2. Japanese Noh 能 theater - Kurosawa’s Ran

Noh is a Japanese form of theater that is a dance-based dramatic work. It tells stories of supernatural beings transformed into humans and etc. One of its major notes is its very stylized conventional use of specific gestures to portray emotions. Iconic, specific masks are used to portray the roles of the actors such as the ghosts, women, deities, and demons.

Akira Kurosawa’s Ran is lauded as one of the greatest films ever made. It’s a Japanese-French production heavily inspired by Shakespeare’s King Lear. There are many many detailed videos on YouTube about his precise filming methods and movement aesthetics. The body language can be seen as “over-acted” if you come from a Western background. Why? Because it takes from traditional Noh theatre:

Long periods of static motion and silence, followed by an abrupt, sometimes violent change in stance. Heavy ghost-like Makeup. Highly emotive gestures, sometimes repetitive to emphasize the characteristic of a character. All very unrealistic, but that’s not the point, right? Because this also displays mo, it takes the emotive expression, the revelation of fear/action/hope to the front of the stage.

3. Japanese Kabuki theatre - acting style is also larger than life

Kabuki actors also make great effort to express themselves in highly stylzed gestures (i.e. the men play women’s roles and over-act their femininity).

One major difference between Kabuki and much of Western theatre is that kabuki actors make less of an attempt to hide the “performance” aspect of the work. They’re fully aware that they’re performing, and the audience isn’t there to get “lost in the moment.” Everything -- actors, costumes, dialogue, is larger than life. Realism is far less emphasized, the form generally favoring what is often referred to as “formalized beauty.”

One example of this is the highlight of an aragato kabuki performance: the famous mie. The mie is a dramatic pose adopted by the main (oftentimes male) character during moments of emotional intensity. (The proper phrase for this action is mie o kiru, or to "cut a mie.") Announced by the beating of wooden clappers, the actor freezes in a statuesque pose and crosses one or both eyes. Often it's preceded by a head roll. The idea is to capture the highest moments of tension into one physical gesture and to more or less hold the actor and the audience in a breathless trance. After a few seconds, the actor relaxes and the play continues. A mie can be cut in various specified positions, depending on the character and the moment. When exiting, an aragoto character may perform a roppo exit, which combines several of these poses in rapid succession, before leaving the stage.

The mie pose

This is not to say that modern Japanese dramas and works directly descend from Kabuki or Noh or other theatrical traditions. But like the Chinese beijing opera, the concept of aesthetic beauty/mo, emotional revelation, these ideas all combined with Western influence and modern Western perceptions of good story-telling/acting to make up the modern Eastern dramas of today.

4. How do all of these things combine into the supposed “cheesy/corny/over-acting” of modern Eastern dramatic works?

All of these cultural roots combined with Western depictions of a modern story (i.e. Shakespearean tragedy in five parts: Exposition, Rising action, climax, falling action, and denouement, ofc there are other ones but this is the one I learned in school), I believe make up what we see today in modern Eastern dramas.

A. Acting Comedy: My specific examples are first, comedic examples from the famous 1986 Journey to the West

Comedy and the feeling of happiness and joy are also very important aspects of emotional revelation. Journey to the West depicts one of the most beloved comedic characters, Sun Wukong, who goes on a journey with Tan Sanzang, a Buddhist priest, to find the sacred Buddhist texts. His exploits are highly unrealistic and highly comedic. It is one of the epitomes of the “spirit” over the “form,” the internal emotional journey over the actual realism (or unrealism) of the journey. Many of the characters exhibit over-the-top facial expressions, some expressions too subdued, and the plot can be very winding and haphazard, but that’s not the point! If you’ve been reading this far, you’ll know why. It’s about how his adventures make you, the audience, the reader, feel.

B. Acting Villainy: More modern Chinese dramas i.e. The Untamed & Word of Honor

I cannot attest to the quality of the acting nowadays, but it’s a common idea that the supporting cast of the international hit, The Untamed, was a bit weak in terms of acting. If I were to step into my Western lens, I would agree that yes, many characters over-act (i.e. Xue Yang, below):

And Wen Kexing, Word of Honor:

And Journey to the West, Underworld Lord:

However, now with all that cultural context, I can see this choice of acting in a different light. The over-acting and depiction of villainy is over-the-top because it’s meant to inspire that emotion of (this guy is whack, like really). It’s not supposed to be realistic villainy, like how a real person would look if they were these people in real life. To judge it by a completely Western lens is doing a disservice to them I think. You could say that maybe they just can’t act well, but in a Chinese/Japanese/Eastern cultural theatrical context, their acting is actually par for course. It’s even more subdued than the traditional roots of Eastern theatrical performances actually.

This goes for many other C-dramas / Eastern dramas that have these instances of highly emotive performance. It’s a product of hundreds of years of Eastern cultural theatrical/artistic production combined with Western acting styles and cinematography.

Is it cheesy? Maybe. Is it over-acting? Could be, but what is “over-acting” vs what is “enough?” Is that not the distinction between mo and Western realistic imitation? For me, as someone who’s very used to this uniquely different style of dramatic production, I’m not too bothered by it. It, after all, makes me feel such an incredible range of emotions that the acting is just a fun, interesting perk.

Thinking that these dramatic productions were originally seen as extensions of poetry, I can see why the exaggeration is necessary to fulfill what mo means:

If I feel some intent, I must write it - it becomes a poem.

If that’s not enough, I must sing it - it becomes a song.

If even singing isn’t enough, then I sigh, and have to express by dancing - it becomes a performance.

Part 1

#cdramas #jdramas #kdramas #eastern cinema #acting #theatricality #asian cinema #east asian cinema #chinese culture #the untamed #word of honor

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hillnerd-art · 4 years ago

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how to draw faces

So awesome human being @smallpumpkinboi posted an wonderful WIP sketch earlier and said ‘Can someone please explain to my why, everytime, without fail, my eyes are always too high??’ I offered to give my two cents, and asked if it was ok for me to make it a public post- they said yes :) This ended up going long- but hopefully it’ll be handy for people. :D

BEFORE YOU DRAW- some tips to keep in mind:

1) do some warm ups! (sketches and drawing exercises) yup! artists need warm-ups just like athletes! :D)

2) Get the structure drawn first! don’t get into details, shading, or color until you have the structure DRAWN (Aka, the major features are all placed, the pose is in place etc)

So let’s look at some heads, y’all! :D

what’s with that ball so many people draw before they do a portrait? You know the one:

In and of itself it’s confusing. It’s like, Faces aren’t shaped like this. Where am I supposed to put the eyes? The mouth? The nose?? HERE ARE SOME HEADS I VERY QUICKLY DREW USING THE ‘CIRCLE METHOD’

Wait a moment! Do you see what’s going on? Do you see how I messed up? OH NOOOO - I wasn’t using the circle method consistently! Look at those proportions!!! Look at the placements! There’s all using different ratios!

Look at how the noses were placed in different ways

Omg! And the eyes too.

Oh my gosh! What do I do to fix this? How can I do it the same every time? Which is the RIGHT way to draw a face?

Want to know how to draw using the PERFECT ratio?

Here’s THE secret:

THERE IS NO ‘PERFECT RATIO’

Depending on the face shape, depending on the style of drawing, age of the character being drawn etc. you might change up the placement of eyes, noses, mouths etc. But the one thing you need to know is:

Faces and heads are all different.

Some people have tiny little squished faces, some people have LONG faces. They’re all different.

‘AHHHHH!’ HILL- YOU ARE MAKING THIS MORE CONFUSING FOR ME!!!’

I know! I’m sorry! But wait wait wait. I’m getting to stuff that’ll help. I swear!

Even though there’s ‘not a perfect ratio’ there are ratios that play into certain styles better.

Cartoons, especially, can be all over the place on how they do ratios. Like, look at Prince of Egypt and how they place the eyes SUPER high on heads- vs, like, Disney- who likes to place eyes for heads super low (they love to give women the proportions of doe-eyed children.)

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A ratio I generally like is what I use for REALISM/REALISTICALLY PROPORTIONED PEOPLE

Here I’ll be going into a general breakdown of the proportions for an ADULT head.

Remember- every face is different!!! There is ENDLESS variety to faces. The variety can and does affect every feature- from eyelids, to noses, to brows, to foreheads etc.

These varietes vary person to person, and also there are varieties and commonalities you see more often in certain populations- be it race, sex, or ethnicity.

I am not giving examples of ALL these varieties here today as this is just a general guide to proportion. However if anyone wants me to go more in depth on this topic I’m happy to. :D Let me know in the comments.

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THE PROPORTIONS OF A HEAD

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NOSE

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EYES AND EYEBROWS

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JAW, CHIN and MOUTH

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EARS

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WE TEND TO THINK ABOUT DRAWINGS IN A 2-D WAY

Which makes sense. It’s a 2-D drawing!

BUT HEADS ARE 3-D

Heads are a three-dimensional object. When it’s a straight on portrait like above you can get away with not thinking about it as much. A bit of shading here and there- and bam! You drew a face! :D

But what about when that dang head has the AUDACITY to TURN?

All of a sudden it’s a whole lot harder to draw.

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3/4 VIEW OF HEAD

ahhhhhhhhh the proportions feel different now!!!!

DON’T BE SCARED. They aren’t different, they have just TURNED.

Ron here has slightly different proportions to Hermione up Above.

He has a longer face, longer nose, a bigger more defined jaw, slightly lower brows, thinner lips etc.(

I made the ‘circles’ the same size- but in reality- his head is bigger than hers. REMEMBER!!! People have different size heads!)

But even with all that, a ton of his proportions are the same as hers.

When you turn a head, the main things people forget to take into account are:

And some are getting FORESHORTENED- aka- they look all SQUISHED AND SMALL.

a lot of the time with my ‘cartoony lines’ this little sliver disappears altogether.

Even though there’s suddenly foreshortening happening to the features of the face

YOU CAN SUDDENLY SEE SOME THINGS BETTER

BROW BONE

EYELIDS, BROW BONES AND BROWS ARE VERY VERY VARIABLE FOR PEOPLE- LOOK CLOSELY AT IMAGES OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE OF VARYING RACES, GENDERS, SEXES ETC.

Again, this is just a general guide.

So now we’re going to look at @smallpumpkinboi ‘s awesome WIP piece

(gonna refer to them as SPB when talking about them later :) )

LET’S PRAISE THIS DRAWING, BECAUSE IT HAS A TON TO PRAISE

As you can see, they have been VERY SUCCESSFULLY using the ‘circle method.’

They have some wonderful proportion going on! Look at those brows, eyes, nose and jaw! They are very well placed.

Also, look at some of this early shading they started? It’s very effective and really gets across MASS well. :D

Also, the expression? It’s really well done. Like, super arresting!

You should be very proud of this Work in Progress, SPB!!!

Earlier SPB said “Can someone please explain to my why, everytime, without fail, my eyes are always too high??’”

Your eyes are NOT necessarily ‘too high.’

I think what’s happening here is you are applying ‘straight on 2-d proportions’ to a turned head, but aren’t entirely familiar with how to do this. This is making you struggle a bit with certain features when they are at an angle.

Source images are very helpful, but also remember that source images can be at weirder angles than just a head turning left to right.

The image you were working from was actually INCREDIBLY challenging, as not only is it 3/4 view, but the model’s head is slightly turned UP.

look at all that angle happening! super hard to draw :P

So the artist has a choice here: 1) change the drawing so it matches the pose

2) use the source image as inspiration for color/shading/expression- but find a simpler pose to work from that more matches the angle drawn.

Either choices is a valid one! :D But it’s probably easier to do #2

So here are some things you could edit

And define the brow bone, so that it hits the corner of the eye. That’ll fix your ‘eyes too high’ problem really quickly! :D

For a drawing of a face, the eyes are correctly placed as far as height goes!- but they are very different from the proportions of the model.

For future drawing keep in mind proportions- like eye distance, mouth size, and think about defining jaw/ear shapes. Getting structures (like eyes, ears, mouth and nose) firmly in place before you start shading/putting in details will help a lot! :D

HOPE Y’ALL FOUND THIS HELPFUL

If ya’ll would like other tutorials, or want help with your drawings, let me know! :D

My hands aren’t all the way well, but I’m the road to recovery and love helping people- so while I can’t draw-draw much right now, I can do this!

#art tutorial #how to #how to draw #how to draw faces

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pensurfing · 5 years ago

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Tearing Down Other Illustrators Does Not Make You A Better Illustrator.

The title says it all. But you’d be surprised how many mutuals I have that just get a sick kick out of “giving critiques that destroy a person’s whole being” simply because “it happened to them”.

[[Jesus where to begin where to begin? Maybe disclaimers? Sure. At some point in the post, it will go from my calm, cool, collected tone to “I will cut a bitch’s throat”. If it hurts your feelings then that means the kitchen is too hot for you (probably because you do said nonsense) and now you gotta leave. Go sit, cool off, and then maybe try again. Probably when you’re a better person.]]

Let’s take it back to school:

In school, I failed at being a girl: mainly because I just failed to do ‘girl code’ things because I questioned it a LOT. Some girl code things make sense mind you, but not all of it. One of the girl codes that I questioned was “why are we being mean to the other girl if she didn’t DO anything and especially if she didn’t do anything to you?” Bam. The new target, me. It wasn’t anything I was ashamed about, I just don’t see the need of tearing someone down because they sit outside of your normal. Basically, the undertone of this experience is this: As a girl, if you made fun of other girls, it somehow magically made you prettier and more desired by your crush.” But you learn in grade school that this is not the case, and you especially learn in high school that this made you “a bitch”. Now fast forward a bit, looking back as an adult what were you supposed to learn from this? Girls pick on other girls usually when whatever little power they have is being challenged. Girls can also pick on other girls simply because they find the other girl pretty as well and this causes yet another inferiority complex. It will usually continue for a while simply because no one wants to question the ‘status quo’.

Why did I bring all of this into play?

As an illustrator, there is such a thing as a genuinely great critique. Great critique states things APPRECIATED about the piece; things that can be better about the piece; and solutions to the piece that the then illustrator can then either use as advice or just take it as the critique it is.

Then there’s just what I will call ‘straight bad-mouthing critique’. Nothing good to say about the piece, the person actually sits there and asks did the artist put eFfOrT into it. Tells them to just ‘draw more’. And some that just ‘rip the art to shreds’. Nothing good or positive. Said person will even go on to just insulting not only the piece but the artist and their character. How did we go from ‘the piece in question’ to just calling the artist a terrible person for attempting to draw a ‘insert whatever it was here’?

I do not give out the perfect critiques. Where someone will see ‘bad anatomy’ I’ll see ‘an attempt at foreshortening, and if they just...’ and I could go on. I see a bright color palette and warm tones in someone’s portfolio, someone else will see it as “you use to similar of colors and you need to get better at setting the mood with color in your pieces.” A difference of opinions is one thing, and it is up to the artist in question to decide which is more helpful. This is a different case and is USUALLY inspiring to create more variety to demonstrate your skills. What I no longer think I can tolerate is just words that do not fit into the situation or critique at hand.

I have examples:

I went to a portfolio review and had my artwork looked at by some professionals in the industry. (More professional than my...attempts... LOL! i’M a pRoFeSsIoNaL.) The main push for this was a couple ‘critiques’ that just weren’t helpful, useful, or even good.

I had five pieces presented to said ‘it’s a coin flip’ critiquers: Designs, Finished pieces, Sketches, WIPs, Roughs, I mean I gave em a LOAD to look at. I sent this to a couple groups where we bounce around ideas and I have left them all and have not regretted a single moment of it. Out of the three I sent them to, two straight up ignored them. (I’m used to my artwork being ignored by my peers at this point. I haven’t gotten any feedback whatsoever to where now I just assume they do not like my art style and just choose to not say anything because it’ll come out wrong.) One group only made the comment that not only rubbed the wrong way but in a way took down a community(?) “It looks furry erotica. Only they would like this.” ((Paraphrasing, but only slightly. The tone towards furries was something I was not ignoring.)) Do not use furies as some group to be looked down upon. And if they’ll like it then dammit I’m printing it. I’m an equal opportunity money grabber here babe.

“Hey Cait, her leg looks a bit short.” “Hey Cait, the colors here are awkward.” anything along these lines that actually were wrong with the piece could have helped.

I don’t draw NSFW stuff (I should at this point. It’ll be my step before becoming a stripper.) But no other comment besides that per se doesn’t help encourage or fix what could possibly be wrong. I’ve had a share of bad critiques, but this one was just useless. I stopped showing my pieces in WIPs and rough stages because I just genuinely didn’t get good feedback EVER. It came off as: Caitlin your ideas are slipping, they suck... Caitlin this is just another black girl, what’s your deal? Well damn sway, sorry my black ass drawing black ass art is bothering you. I almost was sick of it.

Now here is the portfolio review time by pros:

I go to it thinking “I’m just going to get my portfolio reviewed. No way am I good enough to stand in line for the job fair(s) going on.” So I got my reviews, the results? “Hey, I see you really enjoy backgrounds and telling stories with your finished pieces. Why don’t you draw more interiors so that way it cohesively harmonizes together better? It does great now, but you’d do pretty well adding more interiors.” “Wow, your linework is so crisp. Have you tried this technique? You have with recent pieces, great! Lets network.” “Your color choices are breathtaking. Here’s a tiny corner where your craftsmanship failed a bit, try buffing up this corner a bit.”

Good critiques, useful stuff! I was so pumped you know what I did? Went to the job fair half. My results? I have piles of individual business cards and personal. My professional network grew. (I guess I should log in and add things to Linkedin huh?) and I got a single big toe wet. (Not a foot in the door, not feet wet, just that one toe. But hey, ripples start waves. And as a surfer, you just gotta wait for the perfect wave ok?)

I hadn’t gotten a good critique since college. In college, I will commend my professor for teaching this: How to give a good critique. Did some of my colleagues forget how to do this step? Yes. Do some forget that it isn’t their piece of concept and you can’t make someone DO anything? You bet. But it’s just a shame how with mutuals it’s “Caitlin your art isn’t great and is too black.” versus the reviews and studios that gave me the thumbs up and said, “call me later, otherwise I’m calling you later.”

Now do I think there is a slow “status quo” complex going on in my mutuals because now I’m no longer the sucky drawer? Yes and that’s a new rant for a different post. Does tearing down my artwork help theirs get better? Hell nah fam. They don’t even practice what they preach.

I said all of this to say: I can’t stand people in ANY group of friends, art group, a community who does this. I can not. What do you benefit? Did your house get bigger? Is your butt bigger? Are you prettier? Is your artwork studio quality? Did a pile of money just land in your lap?

No. It never works that way.

I started this habit to test out my theory and only one friend has caught on; that one still has my respect. After getting a bs critique, I’ll always ask how a person is doing and they’ll go on about how their day-to-day isn’t as good as usual. The one friend that caught on and I quote: “Woah Cait, I’m sorry. I took my frustration on you, let me look at this on another day when I’m in a better mood.” And guess what? She did. Gave a USEFUL critique and we moved forward.

Sometimes if you're not in the mood to critique DO NOT DO IT.

I repeat:

If you are in a bitchy mood, do not destroy someone because your life sucks and you wanna take a massive shit on someone else. Doing so isn’t going to fix whatever is wrong in your world. It isn’t going to give you a large sum of money and isn’t going to make you a better illustrator. Do not take the phrase “tearing down the ‘competition’ so literally.

“Caitlin, are you sure you’re just bad at getting critique?”

Nah. I’m bad at taking BS critique and pointless comments anymore and said critiquers themselves are just upset that I’m no longer being a doormat for whatever is wrong in their life. Other illustrators feel the same way too.

“Caitlin, why do you look for critiques and get mad at people who don’t give good ones?”

Anyone in any field can acknowledge the fact that when you stare at something too long, you start to blur the object in question together. Is it finished, are there major flaws? A simple solution is just getting a fresh set of eyes to look it over. In any aspect of life: choices you made, something you’re prepping to cook, a document you’re writing, and guess what? A piece someone is drawing. It is a prosaic and even instinctual action to share and express ourselves with others for a response. Look at all the billionaires who invented social media.

We as a community need to start treating each other better. And when someone asks for a critique, follow these instructions that were on so many damn elementary school walls but cleARLY we need these put somewhere again.

Be better dolls. Be good and make good choices. This is the last text post I’m writing today.

TRD: There are some people who still don’t think before they speak and I see it too often in my own life too. So I’m saying something about it. A reminder for something you learned in grade school: Being mean to other girls won’t make you prettier just like tearing down other illustrators and their artwork won’t make you a better illustrator.

#art rant #rant #critique #art community #Illustration #pensurfing #personal rant don't mind me #hungry and irritated

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mostlysignssomeportents · 6 years ago

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#1yrago Distinguished scientist on the mistakes pundits make when they predict the future of AI

Rodney Brooks -- eminent computer scientist and roboticist who has served as head of MIT's Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory and CTO of Irobot -- has written a scorching, provocative list of the seven most common errors made (or cards palmed) by pundits and other fortune-tellers when they predict the future of AI.

His first insight is that AI is subject to the Gartner Hype Cycle (AKA Amara's Law: "We tend to overestimate the effect of a technology in the short run and underestimate the effect in the long run"), which means that a lot of what AI is supposed to be doing in the next couple years (like taking over half of all jobs in 10-20 years) is totally overblown, while the long-term consequences will likely be so profound that the effects on labor markets will be small potatoes.

Next is the unexplained leap from today's specialized, "weak" AIs that do things like recognize faces, to "strong" general AI that can handle the kind of cognitive work that humans are very good at and machines still totally suck at. It's not impossible that we'll make that leap, but anyone predicting it who can't explain where it will come from is just making stuff up.

Brooks draws a fascinating distinction between "performance" and "competence." The former is doing a thing well, the latter is being able to redirect the expertise on display during the performance into related tasks. In humans, performance and competence are closely linked -- someone who's good at identifying a photo of people playing frisbee in the park knows a lot of things about weather and people and games. A computer does not -- but when it performs at a task like image identification, we impute knowledge of broader context to it.

The word "learning" (as in "machine learning") is the source of a lot of mischief. It's what AI pioneer Marvin Minsky called a "suitcase" word with a lot of meaning inside it that can be selectively unpacked. Machine learning is brittle compared to the kind of learning that humans are used to. Someone good at playing chess will likely also excel at playing under variant chess rules, while a computer that's really good at playing chess is apt to founder if the rules are changed. We tend to apply our intuition about learning's robustness to machine learning and therefore overestimate how many things a computer might understand on the basis of its excellence in one narrow task.

Thinking about exponential growth is also a pitfall for AI predictions, and not in the usual way. The usual problem of exponentialism is that we struggle to get our heads around just how quickly exponential growth ramps up (resulting in bankruptcy for untold numbers of emperors). But it's impossible to state, a priori, whether you are standing on the upslope of an exponential curve that's never going to stop rising, or merely on the rise of an S-curve that's about to level off -- for example, mobile phone storage grew exponentially until there was enough storage on a phone to store the median user's music, photos and assorted media, then leveled off to a rather gentle rise. Maybe the investment boom that's driving so much AI work will attain the major gains that can be made without massive efforts of decades and AI will sink into another 40 or 50 years of stagnation, as has been its usual pattern.

Brooks isn't fond of "Hollywood scenarios" which I might call insufficiently weird thinking: the idea that we'll just get a big-bang AI takeover that will leave us flatfooted, as opposed to a series of disruptions that change lots of parts of our lives in sequence, affording us the opportunity to hone our coping skills. (The counterexample is climate change, in which most of the stuff happens out of sight, and is thus out of mind until it breaches into the public consciousness because it is now everywhere and causing catastrophic problems!).

Finally, Brooks reminds us that hardware is different from software. The roads are full of old cars, kitchens are full of old fridges, and the web is full of old browsers that are all that will run on old computers. The software upgrade cycle has given internet technologists a foreshortened view of the pace of change, so we assume that within a few years of the first functional self-driving cars, there will be nothing but self-driving cars on the road.

You can see this kind of thinking at work in policy discussions. Last week Radio Lab re-ran and updated its episode on the trolley problem, and one of the hosts said that of course we'd have to make sure that all the self-driving cars are following the same software rules, otherwise, how will the cars know how to anticipate the actions of the cars around them? The obvious answer is that since self-driving cars are going to have to share the road with conventional, human-piloted cars for the entire duty-cycle of the last non-self-driving car sold before the switchover (call it 25 years), they'd better be able to cope with other vehicles whose control systems aren't deterministically programmed to follow a known set of rules!

Brooks's list is indispensable reading for AI skeptics and believers alike -- a toolkit for sorting hype from hope from hucksterism.

https://boingboing.net/2017/10/09/clarkes-first-law.html

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major-victory · 2 years ago

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So now that I've finished season 1 of bnha, I wanna try and do a little analysis of what I do/don't like about it, or in otherwords: despite being a flashy action shounen with a fun basic hook that is well drawn and voice acted, why does it lose me?

I can't add a readmore, so bear with me here

Overall

I overall like the show a good bit. Switching over to English has definitely made it more engaging for me, though it is Entirely Possible that it's primarily due to Chris Sabat carrying it for me personally. But all of the actors are great, theyre well suited to their roles, and they feel well directed. (And I'm not biased at all that I hear Saitou when Chris speaks shut up, im sorry my fave role of his is such a small one when the man literally voiced in DBZ)

The hook IS genuinely fun. I LOVE the concept of a kid showing such an urgent desire to help that he inspired a known pro hero to push himself as well, and I am always weak for Strong OP Master accidentally adopting a kid that he initially wrote off, but in such a way that he would Kill for said child. Better still when, in order to make the child his apprentice, he gives the child a piece of his own power (see: the breaker for another fun example of this narrative) and this ends up hurting him down the line.

Animation

The animation is also very fun. They let these kids make Great Expressions -- lots of wrinkles and lines, over exaggerated when necessary to drive home the intensity. The action and posing is fun, tons of foreshortening, great camera angles for a lot of the fights.

So with all of that being as fun as it is, I think it loses me in 2 places: narrative and lighting.

Narrative

Basically -- the pacing just feels Off. I think I'm not a huge fan of introducing shigaraki so early in the game, instead of having no build up to them as a threat, and then turning around and going into the sports fest... it isn't even whiplash, it just doesn't feel like those arcs were supposed to come one after the other like that. Like there should have been an arc before USJ that helped ramp things up a bit more, made the USJ bit feel more impact full. In stead it just punched you in the arm, said "Jah! Bet that was scary" then ran off leaving you more confused why you were punched in the arm at all.

Lighting

Lighting really just boils down to All These Scenes Look The Same. They all have the same lighting intensity and shadow placements, every scene is as saturated as the last. Even the shots of Deku in the night, or Deku leaving school at sunset have largely similar lighting, it's just the color itself that is off.

There is only 1 scene I can recall in those first 15 eps (I'm 2 eps into season 2 so shh) that had any distinct lighting: the scene where Deku completes his beach cleaning and the sun is still rising. It created a fun back-lit effect on him, and was gorgeous when combined with the raw emotion and his scream. Loved That.

But there were other opportunities to use lighting just as dramatically, especially in the USJ battle sequences, when Shigaraki first appears. This is such a terrifying, heavy set of fights, but the whole time its illuminated like it's just a sunny day. There's no dramatic shadows that obscure half a characters face, no fun colorful spec lighting to help them stand out against the combat around them. They just look the same as they do in any other scene. I think, writing about this now, that has a huge impact on the fact that these fights are occasionally losing me. They're fun they're fast, theyre flashy, and I like that, but they don't look any different.

That said, I know there's a few scenes later in the show that look to change this up a bit, but I'm not sure when they do, or how often either.

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #major ramblings #im tryong to be more like #ok well WHY dont you like broccoli #is it the taste? the smell? the texture or color?#is there someway to cook it or chop it up to make it easier to eat next time?#otherwise im just gonna keep feeding other people broccoli #without realizing there were ways to make it more apetizing #weird analogy maybe #but maybe you get the point

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skruffie · 7 years ago

Text

Little recovery update.

Nothing earth-shattering has been happening lately. I think I mentioned this before, but in the last few months I’ve been feeling a lot more peaceful lately. I kinda think like... this is weird, but when I was flying down to see my grandparents back in October and got stuck in San Fransisco overnight and had to rely on keeping my head on straight in order to take each step as they came, I think something about that completely reset my approach to anxiety. I was basically having one long constant, unyielding panic attack through the whole thing and cried quite a bit but the thing it taught me is that I am able to rely on myself and get shit done even when I’m panicking. It was after that when I started noticing that I handle stress differently than the last few years. In a better way.

There’s still moments, but I’m not as overwhelmed by certain triggers or moments of stress. Hell, I even got through christmas at my workplace without a single emotional breakdown \o/

It still scares me, but really the best option is to keep imagining the future. I have a hard time believing the future is happening, because that fun sense of a foreshortened future bit, but there is so much more to look forward to. Zack is moving here in just a few months. Thinking about the future and with the two of us creating new and happy memories together helps me cope when I feel sad over what I lost. My early adulthood and early 20s were taken by trauma but I have... an entire rest of my life to do other things.

I don’t think I want to go back to who I was before. I suppose there was nothing wrong with me as a person but there was so much pain at that time. It still hurts sometimes and I think there’s still going to be moments I’ll miss for quite a while still, but I need to give future!me a chance.

I also had to give 2011 me a chance to process what happened so I could get to this point. This photo--I didn’t expect that I’d end up getting this emotional, this was when things were really starting to get noticeable for me trauma-wise. Up until now I kind of distantly looked at this moment in time as when I was at my weakest and in the most amount of pain but if I got through that and then kept going to get to now?

(2017 with Zack)

I’ve been lying to myself this whole time. I don’t think I was weak at all. Just... tremendously wounded. And feeling weak. I feel things now--I get joy and anger and fear without the trauma-strings attached. I get excited and scared about the future. I cope. Flights get cancelled and I cry the whole time I try to get on the next plane out, but I get through it.

The leftover bits are physiological--trauma changed my blood sugar (hypoglycemia already runs in my family and I didn’t have low blood sugar attacks too often as a kid, but after trauma that completely changed), and in the past year stress will try to trigger headaches and throw my whole day off, but it’s part of the process. I cope.

#ptsd #mushing about recovery

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kenbarrens · 7 years ago

Text

Update 12/31/17: New Year

2017. What a ride...

These past six months especially, I’ve really been pushed to redefine and harden myself as a person. I don’t want to get into the details, but suffice to say I wouldn’t have survived without adapting, learning to open up and trust loved ones, and continuing to challenge myself.

In a way, I’m glad to have had the opportunity to be challenged by something that flies squarely in the face of my ideals. On the other hand, the situation I’m in has highlighted to me why we need more stories with positive messages and strong role models; To inspire us to keep striving to become more than what we are.

So, going into 2018, I’m taking a closer look at what I’ve got to see how I can dedicate it to a positive service for humanity.

FMN - PhInc: I spent today reviewing some of my ideas for Forget Me Not. Recently, I’d dug up an old, non-canon sketch of Juni (the second picture attached). This was sort of an AU where, instead of fire magic and necromancy, she used daggers and the speed of her wings to launch herself like a dart at enemies. In this AU, she also has short-range precognition; While she can’t see far enough into the future to make predictions, at times she can see the next few seconds in precise detail and use that information to aide her reflexes. This not only helps her dodge attacks, but also enables her to hone in on her target to ensure a critical strike, correcting her aim “frame by frame” to guide her blade exactly where it needs to go. She’s all about moving as precisely as possible.

Today, I made a new sketch of Juni (top drawing), sort-of combining her latest redesign with this older one. I didn’t choose a great pose for showing off costume changes (though you can see some detail as to how her coat works around her wings, plus a back-view of their newly simplified design) because I’m still experimenting with dynamic poses and foreshortening. I also want to change up the presentation of the weapons; Rather than being decked out in steel and leather like a typical rogue, I want her to look a little more like a modern witch. Instead of that wicked bone dagger (P.S. It looks like I completely recycled the design of the Cass from Maple Story on that thing anyway, so I definitely won’t use it like that), I’d sooner see her using a crystal rapier of sunset quartz.

I’m really in love with the idea of making her a badass knife-dancer, and especially with how I imagine learning those skills in the story will change her personality. The struggle I’m having is this doesn’t jive with her story... at least, not yet. All I will say for now is there’s a very important reason why she’s supposed to be a fire mage, but perhaps I can find a creative solution to give her access to this as well. After all, she’s not supposed to have obvious magic in her world. Maybe her story involves transmuting the gift she started with into something that works better for her, something that can speak to finding one’s self... I’ll have to keep thinking about it!

Krythe: I’ve been doing a ton of research on psychic phenomena to pepper in. Every single character is psionic, so I might as well make sure I know what I’m talking about! This has slowed down the editing process considerably, but I consider it a positive change. I’m pumping relevant content into the story to give it more credibility - that seems like something worth taking my time on as it’s going to affect the way I edit the rest of the story, and I’m still near enough to the beginning that I can afford another style change right now.

For example, this week I focused on rewriting the introduction of the primary love interest. She contacts the main character through astral projection, but her scene wasn’t received well by the writing group. I’ve rewritten most of it to better handle the mechanics of what’s going on psychically, right up to the point where the romantic attraction should be revealed. It was too forced in the original draft, so I’m taking a day or two to contemplate how I want it to come out.

Else Society: Eh... I have mixed feelings on how this went. Overall, I’m disappointed with it, though there are plenty of reasons why that could be/probably is my own fault.

The first day or two seemed uplifting enough, as the website echoes a lot of the feelings any creator trying to make sense of what they want would have. However, after the third step, it kind of just... stops. It provides a to-do list worksheet, but the worksheet really only has just a box to put in the item you wanted to do. There’s little else beyond the meditation in the second step to encourage you. Yeah, any type of program like this requires you to put in your own effort (and doing it through a week with a lot of social activity probably didn’t help), but when it ultimately boils down to “make a list... do it, good luck,” I don’t know that I really got anything out of this.

That said, I think I owe it a second chance. I can say that I did notice forward progress, I’m just not certain that the progress I made this week is any more than I would have made without it. Then again, I can admit I probably didn’t take the worksheet seriously enough, what with all the traveling and shuffling events around this past week. It might be better to focus on developing my own routine though.

#krythe #forget me not #phoenix incarnate #fmn #phinc #junianna newdawn #juni #furry #bat #rogue #fantasy #sci-fi #wip #character design #comics #kenbocalrissian #kenbo #calrissian #ken barrens

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dankmemeslmao · 4 years ago

Link

https://ift.tt/3hieAPB

You may be onto something here. Memes used to be simple. Relatable. Worth a chuckle. Then they evolved. New formats, new tag lines, new content that was then turned into a new meme. Then memes became increasingly meta and self reflective. They parodied themselves and the users who both made them and consumed them. They built off of one another. They grew. They morphed into something entirely novel. This progressed to the point where even that wasn't enough. They had to become something more than themselves. They became surreal. They became deep fried and nuked. Each flavor building off of the last and transforming into a nearly intangible, unknown entity. Art progressed in a similar fashion. Started off simple, I'm talking cave drawing simple. Then some pottery and some small abstract sculptures. Subjects everyone could relate to and understand. Then, as technology allowed for the creation of cultures and societies, art began to reflect that change and it evolved along with it. By the Ancient Greeks and Romans, art had become a more advanced version of the Stone and Bronze Age arts. Better drawings, paintings, and the addition of mosaics. Sculptures eventually shifted from stylistic expression to naturalistic representation. Still accessible to everyone, yet more nuanced and complex. After the fall of Rome art stagnated and didn't change very much for nearly a millennium. Early Christian art dominated for the most part, consisting of murals and frescos and simple statues. All of which were based on the Ancient styles. Romanesque and Gothic art also built upon these precedents. This all changed when the Renaissance attacked. A cultural explosion changed the art world forever; arguably starting with the Italian artist, Giotto. He began using techniques like foreshortening and linear perspective so that the material world could be represented as it appeared to us. A callback to the naturalistic stylings of the Greeks. Almost like a reference to the days of yore. A celebration of how art used to be, but with the explosion of new techniques and technologies, the art grew increasingly diverse. New and improved frescoes, meticulously crafted sculptures, architectural marvels and the inclusion of new materials in these works. Instead of tempera, oil was introduced along with new styles of depicting light and shadow through sfumato and chiaroscuro. These techniques and stylistic changes, while impressive, were simply an advancement of pre established art. The Renaissance paved the way for the explosion and diversification of dozens of art movements that followed. From prehistoric art to the end of the Renaissance, art was mostly about the same subjects and used similar techniques to accomplish the goal of producing a work of art. Yes, the technical proficiency exponentially improved but considering the centuries in between, few true advancements were made. Compare this to memes. They were so simple at first and really were nothing more. Then they got better. More technical. More circumstantial. More media to create them with. But memes could last years or many months before dying off. As time went on, the longevity of a meme shortened. This is paralleled in the art world. After the Renaissance the Baroque period started. Then the Neo-Classicism, Romantic, Realism, and Impressionism movements not long after. Still utilizing the same technical process but the reasoning behind the movements changed. No longer was it about simply depicting the world around us, it was about prompting the viewer to consider new thoughts and ideas. Urging them to look past the image and think deeper about meaning and context. Pushing the boundaries of what art could be. The Baroque to Impressionism era spanned roughly 300 years. Compare that to the thousands of years between archaic art and the Renaissance. It was a huge explosion of self expression. Finally, in the mid to late 19th century starting with Post-Impressionism, Modern art emerged. This movement focused on self-consciousness, self-reference, introspection, existentialism, and even nihilism. I'm talking Fauvism, Cubism, Futurism, Dada, Abstract Expressionism, and Surrealism to name the most well known. These styles changed what art could be. They were no longer about depicting life as is, or layering a painting with hidden motifs for only the privileged to understand, they were in and of themselves absurd. Abstract shapes, aggressive lines and colors, nonsensical dreamscapes. But it didn't stop there. Post-modernism. Pushing art to the limit of its potential. Pop art, Conceptual art, Minimalism, Fluxus, Installation art, Lowbrow art, Performance art, Digital art, Earth art. These movements are about skepticism, irony, rejecting grand narratives and reason and instead embracing the idea that knowledge and truth are the result of social, historical, and political discourse and subsequently are a subjective, social construct. It's irreverent and self-referential. It's avant-garde pushed to 11. But what's next? Post-postmodernism? Metamodernism? Hypermodernity? Who knows? Only time will tell. This is where memes are headed. They started off slow but have picked up so much momentum they're evolving at an exponential pace. They used to hang around for a couple years at most. Then it turned to months. Then maybe only one month. Suddenly it was a week tops. While some particularly great memes do still stick around much like the masterpieces of art in the past, new memes are created every day, every few hours. New movements of memes are being created all the time. Anti-memes. Dank memes. Abstract memes. Wholesome memes. Surreal memes. Deep fried memes. Nuked memes. Even black hole memes, time travel, and dimensional memes are now a reality. What's going to happen next? A return to the classics? A new format so brilliant it steals all our hearts and then starts a whole new movement? I'm excited for the future of memes. Once upon a terribly dreadful time, there was a small cat-licking bird that lived on a not-so-big lane by my house whose name was Charles just like every other soul, male or female, that lived on my smelly, stinky, orange, old, rotten, messy, busted cul-de-sac between Belmont and Rose which are both Gay-ass Streets Like North street or some shit that reminds me of a celebrity like Paris Hilton or some blonde loser that doesn't even know the capital of her own country, which is the United States of America aka: The U.S.A which is a pristine nation of beauty, opposing to a country as the country of Somalia and Belgium, a part of Europe, which doesn't even have a government, it's just in a complete state of anarchy just like my mind and soul which are both filled with outrageous nonsense that I'm typing down right now into some fat long sentence that probably makes no sense but who cares I'm trying to set some sort of weird record here like most ducks snorted or some weird thing like that and if I do set some sort of record I will be in the Guinness Book of World Records (though anti-American and pro-European, a place of pitty and despair as Somalia is) which was always my dream because that book has a whole bunch a cool and weird stuff in it and I would Become famous and add to the weirdness of the book like some of their records which reminds me of the Rob & Big where Rob sets all of those skateboarding Records And Big Black eats bananas and donuts and three weeks later they both get plaques saying the record they set and I want to get one of those so that's why I'm writing all of this stuff down without ever using a period or some other sentence ending mark like an exclamation point or a question mark or any other symbol that could possibly end my streak of words that is really long now and would take me a while to count just like counting sheep which is supposed to put you to sleep but it really keeps you awake because you want to keep counting and counting until you don't know what comes after trillions, but that would take Years or something because it would take a while just to count a trillion seconds or minutes would be even worse just like how ducks are worse that geese because they are more aggressive around their young unlike great white sharks which are often eaten by their mothers when they are born and the ones who do make it out alive have no mother to teach them how to hunt or whatever because none of that matters because us human beings have mothers unless they die or run off with some CEO of a big company or someone else who makes a lot of money and then they leave you with your dad and you are jealous of your friends if you have any because they have moms and you don't because your mom was some greedy pig who wanted money but ended up only getting the money part and she bought drugs because she was depressed and ended up killing herself from an overdose and you wouldn't even know about it until you become some rich person and check the files somewhere and learn that she died of a overdose and you eyes get all teary and then you start crying because you know that you wouldn't be alive without that woman you called mom and I just found out right now that the longest sentence is like 10,000 words so I have a ways to go and you have to go with me so let's go to 6th gear and throw out some words like Emphysema which I had to do a report on in 4th grade because we had a ton of projects and this was the disease one and we chose diseases out of a hat and I came out with Emphysema which is a form of lung cancer which is 98% caused by smoking which reminds me of the way my dad describes smoking: "you get plant leaves, wrap them in paper, light it on fire and suck on it" which is normally a sentence but not today because I'm setting out on the quest for a long sentence that I'm typing up which reminds me of a story my grandpa told me about himself when he was "your age" about how they covered the letters on the type writers and they had to type so that they could memorize where the letters are on a type writer and my grandpa says he will never regret taking that class because it helped him out a lot when it came to typing and now a days he is not bad a typing at all because He is almost as fast as me because I am a pretty fast typer and writing this article isn't taking very long and expect being pretty far pretty soon at the pace I'm going right now so there are going to be some serious records getting busted when I'm finally finished writing this article on this dumb website which will probably end up huffing this article even though it is fun-packed and joyful and keeps the reader reading when they use that excuse to mom saying "just one more sentence" but that sentence is 10,000 words long and still continuing to go at a reasonable pace and it is going to shatter most of those long sentence records just like how the chargers are going to shatter the most consecutive years without a super bowl win record and I doubt that they will win one in the near future but they patriots are going to win some serious super bowls because they are the best team ever even better than the cowboys or 49ers and no one cares a bout them so go patriots and boo chargers even though I live in San Diego and Like the Padres I hate the Chargers because they are bad and the padres are bad too but I don't care because they are my favorite team and the dodgers are my least favorite along with the Yankees because the Yankees get a lot of money to spend and the padres and marlins get almost nothing and then the Yankees buy a-rod for a lot and the Rays get almost no money but are still fighting for first place this season without expensive players like Derek jeter or a-rod or johnny damon or whoever because they are an all around better team that can beat the Yankees even though the Yankees can beat the royals a lot who really suck because they suck more that the padres do and so do the mariners and Rockies even thought the Rockies went to the world series last year they lost and haven't stopped losing for a while now, either and they are last place in the nl west and that is where the padres used to be but they started hitting homeruns and winning games and are dong pretty good right now despite having little offense except for Adrian Gonzalez who is leading the NL in RBI's even though he is on the team who scores the least runs in the league but they are not last in homeruns though they are like 5 away or something but I’m not sure so screw that and let's talk about something fun like water or food or dirt or something but I think food is the best because their is a lot of things to talk about with food like you r favorite food which mine happens to be some spicy burrito form Chipotle mexican grill and it is very good just like this macaroni my mom made one time that had bread crumbs on top and it was very good like all of the food they serve on top chef which I wish I could be a judge for because they have a lot of good food on that show and it makes my mouth water whenever I watch it and that is why I watch it because the food is totally awesome and sometimes I hate the people but they end up getting eliminated like the Dance crews in France's Best Dance Crew which is a great show and you should watch it because people do good dancing like the JFrabbawockeez because they won the first season and they are very good just like supreme soul and So real crew and phresh select and super cr3w and I’m only at 1500 words right now so I have to write some serious stuff like a life biography about myself and anything I’ve ever done which includes going to big bear to ski, fishing, breathing, swimming, going, farting, eating, sleeping and a whole lot more stuff which reminds me of 4th grade again when my teacher was debating with the class whether "a lot" was one or two words and all of the kids including myself said one while the teacher said two and he was right and we were wrong but no one cared because we all had fun arguing about and I have fun arguing with my friends about football and not baseball because in baseball we all like the same team but in football I like the patriots and my friends like the chargers and the 49ers and the eagles and the saints but my team always woops their team's ass and they say that the patriots "cheat" and that's how they won even though the patriots just pwned their team and they suck and my team is good but we all agree when it comes to baseball because we all like the padres and we never really argue over anything in baseball which is my favorite sport and I play it and I am good a it and I want it to be my profession but I doubt that that will happen so my backup plan is being a cop because you get all of the benefits and you get paid after you retire which is good news and I would also like to be some government dude or something like that because they get the benefits too so it would be cool to work for the government which reminds me that my principal worked at the white house and taught the president email because he was the computer guy or something like that so h knows a whole bunch of computer crap like my dad and he is fat too so everyone makes fun of him and I think he huffs kittens too but I am not sure and about that and what the hell is up with all the n00b and kitten huffing on this gay ass website like all of the things like "the writer may have been huffing kittens" and stuff like that it really annoys the hell out of me just like other things such as when people clip their finger nails it makes that weird noise that get me all crazy and I hate it just like how me friend hates the sound of chalk on a chalkboard which I find soothing and relaxing but he gets really annoyed and psyched out and he is also very pale-skinned and so is the rest of his family so it must have been some genetic thing like twins and clones and whole bunch of other confusing science crap that I learned a long time ago in 7th grade or something which was when we watched movies in class like UHF which has weird al in it and it is very funny because weird al has to save a TV station with a whole bunch of weird shows like wheel of fish and rauls wild kingdom with a whole bunch of cool animals like flamingos and turtles and stuff like that but who cares lets get to the meaty part of this article which is the part where I write the longest word known to man which is Methionylthreonylthreonyl...isoleucine which is cut out because it has 189,819 words so wikipedia had to cut out the middle part and the longest word is the name of a protein which is the largest known to man to so big names go to big things is apparently the moral of this story ladies and gentleman the road doesn't stop here and I have to continue no matter what you say or think so I should just write some story now that has no periods so lets start with a guy named Carl who liked fish and women and he went to Clara’s house and they had a good food but that isn't enough of a story to set the record so I think I’ll just stick to writing random crap which really makes no sense at all and here is some random picture that shows a guy who has two legs and another guy who has three who is mocking the guy with two legs because he rips his flesh in disgust every night and you think about who would be dumb enough to rip their flesh instead of cut the ring off or something that doesn't involve entirely gruesome crap like that and I have another life after this one just like how cats have 9 lives I have three because I’m on my second one right now and it is great and you might think I’m a whole new person but you are thinking wrong it's just when I died I came back t life and next time I die I’ll come back to life again and then when I die I’ll be dead for sure which reminds me of Stephen king's book called pet sematary which is coo because people come back to life because there was a burial ground that bring people back to life if they are dead and that book is a great book and you should read it along with the Harry Potter series which has magic in it and it is cool too so don't shank yourself when you are cutting that meat for dinner or you might die of massive blood loss or might just need a band aid I mean that works too or you don't even need a band aid because I don't use them and I have never gotten and infection in my life so maybe I’m lucky or have an alligator immune system or something but I don't use band aids and I don't use Neosporin on my cuts so I’m some sort of miracle I guess but I’m wasting twenty minutes of my miracle life on this retard article that I just want the Guinness book of world records to see and go that is the longest thing ever and have me in their book so I’m striving towards that goal right now and I’m not stopping until I hit at least 3000 words and then I’ll do the construction thing and finish thing up tomorrow or sometime after now and I will be the author of the longest single sentence on the planet earth which will be a real accomplishment on my part so you can be real jealous right now because I am making history right in front of you and if you are still reading this I am truly impressed because this article must be getting really boring by now and maybe your not even reading this just scanning the article for periods which I’m afraid you will not find until the very end of this article which is a very, very, long way away and if you are a slow reader well sucks for you but now I have to use that construction thing and I will finish this and now I am back after a hard day at work but I’m still going now so get ready to rumble with this long thing called a sentence that is as long as Mt. Everest is tall and the Marinas Trench is deep and speaking of the ocean fish of all kinds live in the ocean such as puffer fish which are poisonous to eat if not prepared right and will make you die after and you ADMINS BETTER NOT DELETE THIS BECAUSE IT IS SOME RECORD and if you do delete it well I will have this saved and what will you do then you people who will want to delete this because you don't care about people trying to break records so don't delete this or I will boycott Uncyclopedia and will be very mad at you guys like how I am Mad at Tim for being so annoying just like Celebrities and loud people and people who don't brush their teeth which makes me think of killing myself except I wouldn't do that because I am some sort of miracle as you probably read before or not because you are tired of reading this jumble of words that are still making a grammatically correct sentence that is breaking records right now and I won't stop until you let me break some serious records like longest sentence and some other weird stuff that I might get an award for or something but I also want that Guinness record plaque that you get for setting a monster record like most consecutive noses picked with boogers in them or something completely obscure like that which is like a bunch of the articles on this website which are actually some times funny like how to solve a 1x1x1 Rubik’s cube which made me laugh pretty good and the star wars one is good too so never delete those two because they are funny unlike this article because this article is more boring than funny but who cares some retard might laugh at this bundle of crap and I think that I will put that crap tag on this article so people know that this article isn't really funny but that it is long and boring like Dances with Wolves and some other long movies that you actually fall asleep during which is hard for me to do so I tend not to nut I did when I watched Dances with Wolves because it was really boring like counting sheep to a trillion or some other large number that some little kid says he wishes he had that many dollars but he will never get that many dollars because there isn't even that many in circulation right now and if there was that would be some major inflation right there so don't think you can get that much money kid because then you would not be doing this country a favor which it desperately needs I might add so instead burn money instead of make it and lower inflation rates and do everyone a favor except for the people who are already really rich and don't care about inflation and would rather drive an escalade instead of a Prius in times like this with all of the gas prices and stuff that would drive up your bill but they don't notice because they have a lot of money and don't care therefore they should die and burn in hell with all of the lawyers and other bad people on this ball we call earth that really isn't a perfect sphere because of the mountains and valleys makes it look all jagged but from space it looks like a sphere but looks may be deceiving so don't think that the world is a sphere no matter what other people say and tell them to eat themselves when they try to convince you that the earth is really a sphere but it isn't just like how most ignorant people think that Columbus found America but he really didn't that was Leif Erickson, but Columbus really found the Bahamas thinking they were penis outside of china and he was wrong so everyone forget Columbus and remember some other sailor like Henry Hudson who tried to find the northern passage but didn't so his crew killed him but a he was a great man any way so remember him instead of Columbus or remember William Penn who created Pennsylvania or remember your grandma or someone but not Columbus so go ahead and think that the earth is flat even though it isn't and it can have for corners if you think about it so go die and fall off a cliff or something interesting like that or at least get a life that want’ to penis e a cool record like the one I'm setting right now so go to a pawnshop and buy a life or kill yourself and get a new one or something weird like that or I will force you to and if you are still reading this you are an amazing human because I forget most of the stuff I’ve written already except for the great white shark thing at the beginning of the article and I remember that I need to go see some good movies tomorrow or sometime in the near future like within a week or something but forget that I'm only at 3500 words now so lets go to 4000 penis and then maybe I’ll call it quits because this is boring and I would rather write another article that is good and long but not all one sentence like this one so let's come up with some final five hundred words or so to say before I stop writing all of the nonsense so let's brainstorm ideas like poo, ducks, lemons, flanges, more ducks and star wars which sound about like enough and I like star wars out of there so let's talk about some penis star wars stuff like Kit Fisto who has weird tentacle things on his head and Ki-Adi-Mundi who has two brains and is on the Jedi which is penis honor and privilege because it is and Kit Fisto gets killed by Palpatine in the 3rd movie like Mace Windu who is cool and I like his light saber because it is purple unlike the standard blue and green colors which I prefer green out of but most people seem to like the blue colors but who cares about them they like blue and green is better so you better not like blue or you are some lame person that will be lame for the rest of your life like some people who think that they are cool but are really posers and they live their life not knowing that they are continually mocked and made fun of all of the time behind their backs and that they are really dumb or something so go out and tell all of the posers you know to not be posers anymore and tell them that they should go jump in a lake or something insulting like that and make them run and cry and you can laugh at them and hope they don't tell their mom who will be mad at you so maybe you shouldn't even do that you should just laugh at them behind their backs while they live the poser life and I'm near 4000 words now so let me slow down now yeah I have about a hundred words left so let me write down the exact amount before I stop writing so let me finish this thing up by talking about donuts and their fried goodness and how they make you fat and stuff but they do taste good so you should eat them because they are good and they taste good even though you could get fat but no one cares so eat them and be happy and I am starting to near 4000 nhe's my frienguy is actualy a 40 year old man that eats penis for a living for the ability to never show the meerkats who's doing the write things oh and my last remark is that socialism does not work because look at Europe and Greece which is failing miserably; America always wins, there is no doubt about America's beauty, Amen and I just made it longer, and longer still as I continue to talk and talk and talk and talk throughout this, though I believe it would be referred to more as typing, so I will continue to type and type and type and type and type until I grow bored of it, and I have so I will take my leave soon, but not before I say that I somehow managed to make this already super long sentence longer, so HALLEILUIA, but we are not done yet everything I just said IS NOT RELEVANT to daily life, if you read this all you have no life, did u mention I like waffles and pancakes and people and gay marrage. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue. You didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. wtf u say? don't make me verbally abuse ur ass. i will nerd, come at me autistic fag. play a real game kid. are you going to shut the fuck up kid? yea yea same. all you can do is copy cuz ur not original and probably dumb as shit. i told you i would verbally abuse ur ass. stop flaming and making deregratory [sic] remarks about me. better be careful who you pick a fight with, otherwise you get beat up kid. now stop bugging me kid. "Dank memer" fuck you ,you fucking "dank memer". i hope you choke on your food you fat fuck. i will push you down the empire state building if i have to. i've hired a hundred snipers to hunt you down and blow your fucking head clean off. if you think i have mercy, you are DEAD WRONG. i have already bought you a grave, right inside the pacific ocean. your family will be killed too, so that nobody will ever care about you ever again. nobody will know your name. i will burn all facts about you. i want you to know that you cannot run unless you leave the goddamn earth. i will shove your last shit inside your own mouth. i know you haven't reproduced yet, you gay ass virgin. why do i want to kill you? because you are a retarded fucking asshat. i hope your last breathing moments are of you masturbating, so that i can breed you with a donkey. just kidding, as that offspring would probably be smarter than you. go ahead and paste your "navy seal copypasta" all you want, that won't protect you, you little twat. spend your last day on /b/, you little shithead. how many motherfucking hours have you spent on pornhub? oh wait, i already know. if you think your safe due to your anonamousity, you are goddamn dead wrong. i know your street address, so good fucking luck hiding. you have a week left, tops. once i kill you i'll sell your steam account on the black market. you think you can store all you info on the internet. think again. i have millions of russian hackers looking at your browser history. any time you use a website the hackers will delete what you type. i have made sure everybody thinks you are a wanted fugitive by the name of "paul blart". one of my snipers see you right now. tl;dr eat fucking shit you spastic twat. Lol. I'm an ex army ranger, degree in microbiology, make six figures a year, and can bench over 250lbs multiple times. If you don't believe me, feel free to check my post history where I have to other people that wouldn't stfu about it and called me a liar. Soooo.... No? I think your projecting. I'm guessing you're young, probably fat AF, and still love with your parents. Or, just your slut of a mother because your dad was smart enough to run the fuck away. If you had a real dad in your life, you wouldn't be such a disrespectful little shit. Like I tell everyone else who tried to be an online tough guy. I'll tell you the town I live in over a PM and we can hang out sometime... Hope you aren't a guy who ever gets married, has kids, get divorced, and then have everything, including the kids you help raise taken away. When that does happen to you, since most marriages don't work out, and divorce are initiated 80℅ by the wife. When you come here looking for legal advice or needing help because the family court treats you like garbage for having a dick, I for one, will simply say, told you say. Then, probably laugh a little at you. Take care bud. I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. This is not a joke. My favorite niece found your video- it ruined Overwatch for her, even made her a bit depressed and ashamed for awhile for even liking it. She has early signs of depression, her mother died of heart failure when she was only 7 years old. The game? She liked it.... because so many of the characters reminded her of her mother.... who was also like a sister to me.... ....You WILL pay for this, you sanctimonious jaded smug piece of youtube shit. Yknow why? Because my older brother, the father of the girl who you hurt with your cancerous scorn, is INFINITELY more pissed at you than I am. He's an old fashioned soldier. 6.5 feet, about 300 pounds, ex-navy, doesn't go online much, doesn't have profiles, but he knows a few very good programmers he goes to sometimes when his kids run into 'trouble' online. He's the type who only knows one thing, something you millennials don't: how to get shit DONE. Not much gets under his skin really, you can call him any name under the sun, even strike him and he won't hit back (HIGH PAIN TOLERANCE)... but you fuck with his little girl and he becomes a totally different ma, a VERY dangerous and reckless man. Even if I, his own little brother, were to hurt his daughter emotionally, even on accident...he'd break me like a damn twig without a second thought quite easily too and I'm NOT a small guy. I can't tell you my bro's fighting 'technique' because it seems to be a sort of blend and I'm no pro, but I've NEVER seen anyone, even bigger guys, last more than 5 seconds against him before they were on the floor in tears, screaming for mercy, with at least one or two body parts broken and/or bleeding. After he consoled his crying daughter about a week ago, he informed me of what happened. Unlike him, I use words to express my anger, words you've see quite a bit I'm sure- since I'm about 50-60, as pissed as mWhat kind of public image are they trying to portray here!? The NERVE of that company! shakes head They really need to have a better publicist.... Ah well, there's your LTE rant of the day/week/month/year/insert time frame ehre. Enjoy ^ Heh, well, I’m once again back. This time from a long hiatus involving College life, kiwi’s and cannibalism _^ But let’s ignore that for now, shall we? Today we have MUCH more important things to discuss _^ Like a certain warranty on a certain pair of a certain headphones at a certain store that a certain someone works at a certain summer after returning from a certain college. Like most warranties, it guarantees the safety of the product for a limited time, and promises you fame, fortune, and your money back if it breaks during that time. That, however, is where this warranties similarities to the norm cease. Are you ready? waits How ‘bout now? wait wait STILL not ready? Bah, forget you, I’ll go on anyway. clears throat I shall now paraphrase the warranty to you, in all it’s arcane glory and splendor. This warranty shall not be in effect in the cases in which :1.) The product is purposefully damaged. 2.) The product is accidentally damaged. 3.) An act of God damages the product. ……….pause for effect There you have it folks. This beee-autiful warranty will NEVER be in effect. It just won’t. No matter what happens, the company issuing the warranty can just blame it on God. I can just see just such a scenario playing out in my head…….wavy thought lines scene transition indicating an imaginary sceneTed: Yes, I’m calling to cash in on my 90-day money back warranty?Customer Service Agent: snicker Oh really? polite, polite Would you please describe the damage or malfunction your purchase is experiencing?Ted: …it just stopped working.Customer Service Agent: dripping with phony concern Oh, gee, sir…but it seems that “just stopped working” falls under our “Act of God” clause, and our company cannot be held responsible for any vendettas that God may have against you.Ted:…………….you’re telling me that because God hates me, my headphones stopped working? And that you won’t give me my money back?Customer Service Agent: can’t hold it in any longer laughing until they gasp Oh…God…that gets me every time…gasp giggle That’s just great….Sir, I suggest wheeze That you go to Church…snicker And see if you can’t convince God to fix it for you….guffaw Because…you’re waaaaaaaay more likely to get him to reimburse you then us! hangs upSo, you see? I am extremely impressed by this quick thinking company. If only I, too, could think of a way to so totally, and successfully scam my customers. Oh. Wait. I do. Every day, ……darn those Customer Service Plans! How stupid does a customer have to be to think that they should pay $20 now to insure their purchase of some stupid grill? If it breaks it would probably take 10 bucks to fix it. sigh Why must K-mart compromise my honor? Ack! I spoke its name! flee Alright I'm Baaaa~ack! That's right. Back from the dead like a fiery phoenix of nonsense and ranting, I return from months and months of not posting (and to make things even more interesting i won't mention anywhere else on the site that I made a new lte post!) So, today's topic is just on the concept of writing. I go to a very math oriented college (i'm gonna be a programmer) so the people here....just....really...suck at writing. Completely! happy So for a small nominal $50* fee I shall teach you, the Hypothetical Reader, how to write grade A quality stories, guaranteed! ** (* $50 shall be payable in invisible, imaginary Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony's Dollars (approx $1 OFCLC is $1,337,000,000,00 in US dollars, circa 1957) ** not a guarantee) So are you ready? Let's start with a basic story even a kindergartner would write! people, but who gives a fuck about what we're doing, because this is all bullshit. In this post-Freudian age the institution of marriage, as a by-product of religiously-fuelled monogamy, has deteriorated to the point that amorphous sexual identity, as opposed to rigid religiosity, has become the primary self-defining feature of the individual.But has anything changed?Has the entrapment of woman via marriage which Blake called a "gilded cage" merely deteriorated to the "rusty prison" of the Bang Bus, representative of the anonymous male-centric sex and continued subjugation? FUNNY MEMES FUNNY VIDEO MEMES FUNNY VIDEO MEMES

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