#the food slaps

[wintershub]

Grandma went hard for Christmas

Can barely breath

[yeehawpim]

extra: the video that got me to do baking🍞

[inkskinned]

as we enter the start of a semester and the dreaded Hour of Making Friends us upon us... if ur ever at a loss for what to say in one of those weird social situations where you only vaguely-know people, one of my favorite questions to ask is "what is your favorite food crime." a food crime is like the food combination that you love that other people find revolting. press them to take it further than pineapple on pizza, that's rote. food crimes is a good topic that has many benefits as it turns out all people are degenerates and also it will give you some cool ideas to try out later in the privacy of your own degenerate kitchen

the other good thing to ask is "okay but has anyone here ever been someplace haunted" bc it turns out if you ask most people directly they don't believe in ghosts, but many people are like "oh yeah i lived in a haunted house. ghosts aren't real tho"

[dawnbreakersgaze]

I love that this series of shots looks like Zayne is so freaking done with MC he doesn't even know what to do with himself

Like this poor man has suffered a million lifetimes for her and she's over here eating all his fucking cookies. The audacity 🍪

[churlfriend]

i just finished making a pot of chili and my dear ex-wife @fallout-lou-begas made a pot of chili last week and all this chili reminds me of a conversation we had when we were still living together. i like to eat my chili with a peanut butter sandwich; lou usually makes corn bread to go with hers and thought my pairing was unusual. so now i wanna know:

when i say chili i mean a bog-standard beef and/or bean chili with peppers and onions and tomatoes, seasoned with chili powder and cumin and whatnot

here is a blurry photo of my chili as it cooks down a bit:

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Sharing is Caring!

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[kagooleo]

johto’s champion and chronicler for the deity of the ilex shrine, it’s lyra!🌿

this one took me a while due to trying out different techniques (studying a Lot of art nouveau) and making a couple changes to her outfit (the details help), but I’d like to think she’s learned a lot in her journey and wanted to reflect her experience more in her champion fit

her specialty would be in fairy types and her meganium’s divergent evolution is grass/fairy 🧚🪷

and a bonus w/ the johto gang after the photoshoot!

[karkats-longsleeves]

@coulsart made these for me and I can't breathe when I lOOK AT THEMMMMM.......... Thank you worstie I will GET you back!!!!

[filbosstalker]

theyre jam buddies canon i say so

filbo definitely plays ukulele while buddy has absolutely NO musical knowledge so they just try to follow along the best they can hehehe

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

yall ever make a pastry that slaps conceptually but looks fucking awful?

[loverofthewindgod]

Shower Show (18 +)

A/N: I thought about Fujin watching me while I shower, and boom came this story. Please enjoy! 😉😉😊😊

You return home from a month-long mission, warmly welcomed back by your beloved Lord Fujin. He's just as excited, if not more, as you are to spend time together, but first you wanna freshen up and take a very well-deserved shower. “Ahhh…this feels so nice…” The hot water felt amazing, washing away the dirt, stress, and bullshit from your skin and hair. As you relaxed, you heard the curtain shuffle behind you and turned around to find Fujin biting his lip and stroking his member while gazing at you in all your wet glory.

“Heh, couldn't help yourself, huh? Don't worry, I'm almost done.”

"Ohh, do not mind me, my love. Take all the time you need, and I'll enjoy this wonderous view."

Don't let his adorable soft gaze fool you. The second you step out of the shower, he will go absolutely feral on you. Pretty sure your body was more heated than the water at that point just thinking about it. As you continue to wash yourself, your mischievous mind decides to take over and tease the man. You rubbed all over your body in such a sultry manner, fondling your own breasts, hands tracing your curves as your hips give a little shake. You glance over your shoulder a bit to see Fujin mesmerized, stroking himself a bit faster as he enjoys the sexy water dance.

"Haa...you're just soo fucking beautiful..."

The desperation in his tone and groans are turning you on more and more. He's absolutely craving you right this moment, but hey, he decided to torture himself by watching. You smirked as you turned back around, bending over to rub your legs. The groan that left Fujin's throat as he saw your massive plump ass just a few inches from his cock, man oh man it drove him insane.

"You're playing a very, very dangerous game, sweetheart..."

“Am I now?”

Indeed you were. You began to rub your pussy, spreading your lips to display your tight, moist entrance with a seductive look in your eye.

“All for you baby…”

Aaaand with that....that right there was the final blow that broke the wind god. Accepting your invitation, he immediately shut off the water, picked you up over his shoulder and plopped you down on the bed. He didn't care how wet the bed was, he was gonna make you even wetter. You sat up on your elbows, taking the sight of Fujin removing all his clothes, his eyes completely filled with lust as he crawled his way towards you.

"I'm glad you've enjoyed yourself, sweetheart. But now it is my turn..."

Fujin swiftly pulled you by the legs towards him, and spread them wide open. Immediately digging his face in your pussy, you yelped very loudly, grasping onto his hair before he took both your hands and placed them at your side, going to town on you. His tongue rapidly penetrates your entrance, slurps up your entire mound like its ice cream and sucks the ever living fuck out of your sensitive clit. It was way too much and before you knew it, your legs trembled ferociously with your sweet delicious nectar exploding all over his face. You were a screaming, squirming mess.

“Ahhh! Nghh! Mmmm! Oh my- oh my g-AHH!! FUUUCK!! OHHHH!”

Fujin chuckled as he wiped his face and laid himself on top of you to whisper in your ear.

"So soon, what a shame. I was just getting started….”

Fujin then stuffed himself inside of you, and the sensation was just blissful.

"Nngh…FUCK!…" Fujin hissed, trying to compose himself.

That might've been the sexiest "Fuck" you've ever heard and it made you tighten around him even more. Without wasting another second, Fujin lifted up your legs and began thrusting like a madman. The slick wet noises echoed throughout the room, and you covered your mouth trying not to scream your lungs out, but Fujin feels way too damn good to not scream. He wanted to hear your sweet voice, to be reminded how good he makes you feel. His pace quickened, and you were just in heaven. You caught a glimpse of him immersed in the sight of his cock going in and out of you, his moans getting louder and louder before he halted himself and flipped you over on your stomach. He took you from behind, his pace now at a dangerous level. Your screams were buried in the pillows, hands and teeth gripping the sheets for dear life as he gripped your hips, enjoying the sight of your ass bouncing from his relentless pounding. You felt your knot break and came again, as did Fujin, screaming his ass off as he blesses your insides with copious amounts of his seed.

The both of you collapsed on the bed. Exhausted but oh so satisfied, panting as your naked, sweaty bodies snuggled together. But before engaging in another round, you needed to refuel. “Can we order takeout, please?” Fujin chuckled in agreement, kissing your cheek, super delighted to have you back.

[kaelidascope]

Blake dreams of a carousel. 

Animals dance around her with painted wings and fantastic golden saddles. She stands among them – watching them go by. Such an elegant contraption decorated with jewels and lights. A skin of paint meant to disguise a skeletal contraption of iron poles and chain-work shackles. It creaks and groans as the gears twist and turn, moving it round and round and round. It doesn't sleep. It never stops. It just keeps turning, and turning, and turning, playing the same lively tune as animals leap and pounce over and under, over and under, over and under.

From upcoming chapter 18 - Moment of Peace, dropping this week!

Read Midnight Menagerie on AO3!

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

WEEWOO IM HERE FOR THE EVENT!! (also smth I noticed, you can't copy paste your moots @ from one post to another, bc they don't receive the notif;_; I checked my mentions for your @ and uh- nope)

ANYWAY "nights spent in" with Leona pls (or Ruggie or Kalim or Jack or Jamil 💀💀) I just want a lazy night with takeout and cuddles and looking at the city/town from the hotel or room balcony in peace but I also need this frigging degree-

Nights Spent In; Leona Kingscholar

Content; Fluff, so much fluff, gender-neutral reader, romance

Word Count; 650+

Author's Note; I came up with a whole meal for this and I want everything. All of the food mentioned is North Indian vegetarian food, except for Leona's. Best of luck with that degree, Soru!

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

You were lounging on the sofa on the balcony, a light breeze coming off the waves helping cut most of the heat from the day as night slowly painted the sky in a deep navy. Honestly, you could fall asleep right here, since you were warm and very comfy. Count on the royal family of the Sunset Savannah to spare no expense, even when it came to their balcony furniture for the smallest of their vacation homes. 

Speaking of the Kingscholars, Leona had said that he was going out to grab you both dinner, which would have shocked anyone else, but he put in the work when it came to you. You were the exception. Of course, though, he expected something in return, which was usually either using you as his pillow or giving him a kiss… or several until he was satisfied with how fast he could make your heart flutter. Smug bastard…

“Hmm, I went through all the trouble of gettin’ you food and here you are nearly passed out,” he sighed, having sneaked up on you. But he sighed, putting the food down.

Leona leisurely walked over to you before promptly laying on top of you and resting his chin on your shoulder, trapping you. He let out a long sigh and bumped his head against yours.

Taking the message, you started scratching behind his ears and hummed. “I thought I had to pay you back after we ate,” you mused.

He chuffed, but his tail was slowly waving back and forth in a relaxed manner, he was only putting on a show. “You can pay me now and then,” he grumbled, looking up at you and raising a brow expectantly.

You knew that face, it was the face that he made when he wanted a kiss but didn’t want to say it. “You can get the rest of it, but after we eat-” your stomach made a low rumble underscoring your statement. “Before I decide to eat you instead,” you joked, and poked him in the ribs to prompt him to get off you.

Leona rolled his eyes, but yielded, he wanted his damn kisses sooner rather than later. Plus the last time he had decided to lay on you and prevent you from getting food, you had indeed bit him. Even though you didn’t really leave a mark, it still stung a bit, and he would rather not get teased by the others if they found out it had happened again.

“What did you get by the way,” you asked. Whatever it was smelled divine. Your stomach gurgled even louder, sounding more akin to some beast demanding food.

Leona chuckled a bit at the commotion, but brought the food out. “Went to a small place, family run and owned,” and he brought out several containers of food. He looked at his order, “Malai kofta, raita, paratha, mattar paneer-”

You saw one other container and raised a brow.

“Rogan josh,” he answered, swiping the container away from you.

You rolled your eyes at him, but you were more than happy at the food he had got, and knew that he left a hefty tip even though he would deny it. Not only had he made you, and your ravenous stomach’s, night, but also the restaurant owners’ as well. 

Now content and full of food, the both of you laid in bed, your legs intertwined. “Thanks for getting dinner,” you hummed, feeling the sleepiness from earlier returning.

Leona turned his head to you, and rubbed circles on your hip, slowly. He was wearing the same expectant look again. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” But there was no smugness, Leona was full and just as tired as you, so he was more like a tired kitty looking for some love.

You shuffled over and placed a gentle kiss to his lips, and he let out a tired sigh, pupils dilating into round saucers. “I love you,” you placed another kiss on his lips before placing one on his scar and lingering there.

He bumped his forehead to yours, closing his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know… I love you too.”

~~~~~~~

Tags; @eynnwwyjth, @inkybloom-luv, @savanaclaw1996, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii @leonistic

[dracoangelicawritesfanfiction]

Make it to bham and I’ll drive you the rest of the way to Louisiana.

Me: i have to drive to louisiana

@renthony: why

me: they have my two favorite restaurants

Ren: STOP LOOKING AT MENUS FOR RESTAURANTS IN STATES YOU DON'T LIVE IN

me: *whines loudly for several minutes*

[parakeet]

Finally having dipping eggs in my cute new parrot egg cup!! Yippee!!

[maldupay]

fuck i need to replay isat because i cant remember anything but um something something siffrin's increasingly concerning comments through the acts on losing his appetite -> getting violently hungry -> having tear induced nightmares about cannibalizing his friends