#the first was an old request from jude!! that i dont like!!

[thalassous]

like man im just a guy cmon man like

[ ID: Three different drawings, all on white backgrounds.

The first is of Fyodo Dolokhov, who is fashioned in clothes associated with cowboys, and coloured in a pallet of red, three greens, and yellow. He holds a gun to the sky with his left hand, looking at the camera tiredly and chewing on a stalk of hay.

The second is two fully coloured full body sketches of Ariel and Caliban. Caliban is slightly blurred, clapping his hands and shuffling. Arrows point to him reading, "cannot stop trying to default dance," and, "will trip in 0.05 seconds." Ariel stands still with their left hand behind their back, extending their right. There are arrows that point at them reading, "about to invent the waltz," and one between them and Caliban that says, "desires him carnally."

The third is a fully coloured fullbody sketch of Andrei Bolkonsky sitting down in Lise Bolkonskaya's dress. He wears a forlorn expression, holding his weight with his right hand while his left swings cross his chest. The arrow that points to him is obscured greatly, in white it reads, "NOOoo." END ID ]

[xefroey]

Here’s the first convo between Joey and Jude during ACT 1! Since there’s no friendsim out as of right now, I decided it’d be a good time to show you guys my voice for these good kiddos! I hope you like it:

Joey: Jude? Are you there? Are you alright? Jude: YES, BEEN COVERTLY SIGNALLING STATUS AND REQUESTING YOURS over Joey: You mean the lantern? I don’t know morse code! Jude: WOULD NEVER USE SUCH AN EASILY DECIPHERABLE CODE, over Jude: ENEMY AGENTS EVERYWHERE over Jude: WAIT Jude: unover Jude: STILL UNCONFIRMED VIS-A-VIS YOUR CONDITION FOLLOWING ENEMY SERPENT ENCOUNTER, over Jude: PLEASE REPORT BITE STATUS Jude: HOW MANY AND HOW GROSS? Over Joey: I’m fine. No bites, you weirdo. Joey: ...but thank you for asking. It was a close one. Jude: GREAT WAS WORRIED over Joey: That reminds me, after I shut the door on it I think I heard it clomping off back down the stairs. Joey: I don’t think you should leave your treehouse anytime soon. It might be headed back your way.

Jude: NO PLANS OF LEAVING LOCATION Jude: YARD CRAWLING WITH CRYPTID VANGUARD over Joey: ... “Cryptid vanguard?” Jude: MISSING BIG PICTURE JOEY over Joey: Okay, maybe a little less obtuse, then? Jude: PURELY DEFENSIVE POSTURE TACTICALLY SUICIDAL Jude: MONSTERS LIKELY JUST DISTRACTION Jude: COULD HAVE OBSCURED ADDITIONAL AGENTS ON APPROACH over Joey: Do you mean, like, more monsters or...? Jude: CANT DISCUSS ON UNSECURED CHANNEL Jude: CANT BE CERTAIN WHOS LISTENING Jude: BUT EVIDENCE POINTS TO ANTARES-CLASS CONSPIRACY CASCADE over Joey: ...what. Joey: over. Jude: RELIEVED YOURE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY Jude: ARE YOU TOTALLY PREPARED TO BEGIN FORWARD OPERATIONS Jude: NO GOING BACK JOEY over Joey: I was making fun of you, dweeb. I’m not going anywhere. Jude: TRUST CRUCIAL ON THE BATTLEFIELD JOEY Jude: HOPING PRESENCE OF MONSTERS HAS TIPPED EQUATION AWAY FROM TYPICAL SKEPTICISM over Joey: ...Okay, that’s... That’s fair. Okay. What do I need to do? Jude: YOUR POSITION NOT SECURE Jude: LOCATION COMPROMISED TO ENEMY Jude: SITUATION RAPIDLY DETERIORATING MUST ABSCOND TO ATTIC over Joey: The attic? Jude: YES THE ATTIC Jude: STRONG DOOR? Jude: WELL-STOCKED WITH TACTICAL MATERIAL? Jude: TAKE LEFT OF BEDROOM GO UPSTAIRS Jude: HIGHEST ROOM IN HOUSE? Joey: I know what the attic is, Jude! It was just a weird suggestion Joey: What else is new? More inscrutable rambling from my treehouse lunatic brother! Jude: DONT UNDERSTAND Jude: YOU SOUNDED CONFUSED Jude: TRYING TO HELP over Joey: Look. Just, shut up, okay? I’ll sneak up there, lock the door, and you can... Joey: ... Joey: Call our babysitter! Jude: TOO LATE TO REACH HER AT LAB WORKING DAY LONG OVER... Jude: over Joey: Oh no, you’re right. Jude: AGREED ON BOTH COUNTS Jude: BABYSITTER CAPABLE STRIFER, COULD HELP TIP SCALES Jude: MIGHT ALSO HELP CONVINCE YOU TO GET TO SAFETY Joey: Jude, I’m going to the stupid attic, okay? I’m sorry for being mean... Jude: DOYOU HAVE YOUR WEAPON? over Joey: What weapon? You mean my old weapon? For what? Jude: SERPENTS SWARMING EVERYWHERE over Joey: You want me to fight them? With a flashlight? Jude: DONT BLAME YOU FOR BEING NERVOUS WITH HIGH CONCENTRATION OF SERPENT PRESENCE  Jude: MUST BE BRAVE Jude: YOUR BROTHER BELIEVES IN YOU AND KNOWS YOU CAN DEFEAT THE SERPENTS over Joey: Stop saying serpents. Joey: Yeah, it's in the closet. Jude: UNDERSTOOD ALL SET THEN over Joey: No, i mean the hall closet. Jude: CRAP over Joey: Yeah. Well, i guess i'll have to take your word about all this. you... ARE sure about all this, right? Jude: ABSOLUTELY EXTREMELY CERTAIN over Joey: Over and out, squirt.

[harryseyebrows]

More parenting questions because we need specifics! Attachment parenting or cry it out? Baby wearing? Homemade baby food? Are any picky eaters? Do they introduce them to any religion? (I imagine Harry showing them all if anyone starts to ask questions) What stance will Jeff and Harry take on underage drinking or age of first cell phones? Who gives the birds and bees talk? Are they the cool house to hang out at for the teenagers? (Harry always has baked goods, Jeff has a killer vinyl collection)

i love you for this.

okay. so in terms of parenting style, it evolves from baby to baby. they had such a hard time getting pregnant with the twins that it makes them super protective once theyre born. harry is a bit more overbearing and neurotic, and not to say that jeff isnt just as scared and nervous, he’s just a bit more rational. they read the same books and know almost all of the same information, but when it comes down to it, harry often foregoes what most people and experts will tell you in favor of rushing down the hall if either twin so much as hiccups. jeff tries to reason with him and urge him to let them self soothe sometimes but its with very limited success. and jeff is kinda constantly battling with himself because he knows that harry is still spooked after the miscarriages (he is too) and when he forces harry to stay in the room and not run to them as soon as they cry, he sees how uncomfortable it makes harry, so he usually relents. however, harry relaxes over time. by the time the twins are around 6 months, he has other things to worry about, namely being pregnant again so soon, so he’s tired and cranky and swollen so letting the twins cry it out is sometimes the better option. he knows that he has a secure attachment with both twins and that they’re not lacking for anything, and that they’re both healthy and happy. with river, harry is significantly more relaxed, and by the time willow comes along, he and jeff are both old pros. 

BABY WEARING. if you think for one second that harry would not be ecstatic over the possibility of having his baby/babies strapped to him so he can walk around and show them off, even if its only at home and his only audience is the house plants, youre a CRAZY PERSON. harry loves a baby sling. jeff is less enthusiastic than harry but he’s still pretty psyched about it. even though when they take the twins out together, one baby per chest, they do look ridiculous. harry never gets tired of it, even after 4 kids. especially when theyre newborns. catch him doing laundry and dishes with his paisley printed baby scarf-sling on. DELIGHTFUL. 

homemade baby food. they try it just for shits when the twins are able to start solids but its a very short-lived project. too much mess. too expensive. store bought it just fine for them lol 

eli will eat whatever you put in front of him, but jude, harrys sweet, otherwise amicable little boy, is the one who goes through a phase where he proclaims ‘i dont like it’ to anything and everything. oddly enough, though, the things he will still eat are mostly healthy, like cubed fruit and baby carrots. however, he’s still a big fan of mac and cheese, but staunchly refuses to eat dino-shaped nuggets, to which eli usually looks at harry and jeff as if he’s saying ‘more for me, right?’ river is easy, too. a little human garbage disposal. harry has had to stop him from trying to eat a banana peel more than he’d like to admit. willow isnt quite as easy as river but she’s pretty close. all of the azoff children have very broad palates, thanks to harry and his adventurous cooking. jeff and harry also like to very very hands-on with the kids eating experiences -- they dedicate one night a week to having the kids help them with dinner. harry also likes to bake with them quite a bit. how many 4 years old do you know that have baked a lemon tart?

as far as religion goes, the kids are raised with ~blended religions ie jewish and christian (i did some research on it, and much like any other polarizing topic, there are a lot of people who claim that it has to be a hard left of right, one or the other, but if you dig a bit past the more sensationalized articles, you can find some info on people who were raised with two faiths and turned out just fine -- its finding a balance and respecting the holidays and traditions of both -- as well as explaining things just as you would if you were raising them with one faith. if given the room to explore both and come to their own decisions, it can actually be very valuable and healthy **also worth noting that i myself am not a religious person but i know its important to a lot of people). jeff and harry do their best to keep things clear and distinct but also make sure that the kids dont feel alienated or distant from either side. they dont force anything on them -- the kids are free to say no to certain things, and they both do their best to answer questions and such, so its not super strict, but more of a ‘its there if you want it’ type of situation. the kids also think its very special that they get to celebrate Hanukkah and christmas 

as neurotic as harry was when they were little, once the kids are older, he’s the more lax one when it comes to certain things ie drinking, pot, tattoos, etc. he’s pro ‘if youre gonna drink id rather you do it in the house than at a party’ so when the boys are 18/19, they’re allowed to have a beer or a glass of wine if they want it, as long as harry takes their keys. he knows that if you make something super off limits, its gonna make it that much more tempting when he’s not around to say no. thats why when river is 6 and asks what beer tastes like, harry lets him have a super tiny sip and is amused when river spits it out immediately, but less amused when he spits it out back into the bottle. jeff is a bit more strict and would prefer that they dont do it at all, but he respects harrys policies and kinda grins and bears it. 

jeff does the birds and the bees because harry is banned from talking about anything sex-related around the kids per their own request, simply because he’s super embarrassing and they hate it lmao sometimes he sits down and watches those shitty daytime talk shows, the one with the doctors as a panel, and he learns some random ass info about penile health and the next thing you know he’s bringing it up at breakfast only to be met with a chorus of ‘shut upppp dad, oh my GOD’ jeff is way more chill and easy to talk to, and the kids dont mind when he tells them because they can see that he’s just as uncomfortable as they are, eager to have it done and over with, as opposed to the theatrics they know theyd get with harry (probably some pseudo guidance counselor nonsense where he’d act placid and calm and stare at them with his laser beam focus, radiating ‘you can tell me anything’ vibes that would make them want to wither away. there’d be hand gestures and a condom demonstration with a banana, a lecture on embracing your sexuality but being careful and safe. NO THANKS, says all 4 kids)

and you are absolutely correct, other kids and teenagers seem to love going to the hazoff household, even though the actual hazoff kids dont know why. one of their dads is a complete goof (and totally embraces it) and the other is significantly more chill but also prone to being nerdy and embarrassing (harry tries to impress under the guise of being casual, whereas jeff is always ready to bust out naked baby pictures while simultaneously be the ~cool one). there are always cookies or some type of loaf cake on the counter and ready to be eaten, and jeff is always working on some new sound or projection system for movies. its just a really nice, open environment where anyone who steps into their house is accepted with open arms. unless they’re rude or mean. then harry is mildly passive aggressive but otherwise still civil. only once that person leaves does he mutter something about ‘well they weren’t very nice’ 

[bostonboy]

Freeze Your Brain | In Conversation with Cooper Anderson

Sit down with our Westerburg High ‘cool guy’ and find out all the gossip from inside Heathers: The Musical, now running at The Dolby Theatre, Los Angeles.

                                  _____________________________

Firstly, I have to ask, what’s your favourite number in the musical?

Without a question, I gotta choose Seventeen. It’s a phenomenal number. I get to stand on stage and watch Brie crush it. I just chime in every now and then with a few lines but she owns that song. [Oh yeah, she’s incredible as Veronica Sawyer] Right? It- It’s just so good. I’m a sucker for good harmonies and my job is easy, I’ve just got to keep up with Brie during that scene---  Honestly, I have the most fun on that song because there’s plenty of big belt notes which I love to hit. I just love the energy this scene creates. Veronica has such hope for this poor guy and is just like “dude come on, let’s just go be teenagers,” but yeah, JD isn’t that easy to deal with.

What was your audition process like?

Uh, well, heh. This has been sort of in the works for a long while. I took some time off earlier this year and well- uh. I got a call from my agent who was so excited that I barely caught the beginning of her sentence. She was just like “Cooper, you have to take this role, it’s incredible.” I should probably point out she’s a huge fan of the musical anyway. [So you took the role for your agent?] Ha, well, somewhat? I mean I’d been debating what to do once I returned to Hollywood. I’ve dabbled here, there and everywhere and when she said that I sort of just stopped and was considering it like .... yeah, yeah y’know what? I really f-in miss theatre. It’s such a rush. So I did a few sort of readthroughs with our amazing director to see if we had anything to work with here. [Turns out you did] Hah! Fortunately for me, yeah. So we were sat there with this amazing show, my dumb ass and a great director. I had some friends in theatre who I could recommend for other roles but we were stuck on Veronica. I’ve always been a huge believer of just putting open calls out and seeing what oppourtunities you can give to people. [Were you at the auditions?] Yeah, yeah I wasn’t there for the first ring of initial casting. I actually had a meeting that morning in the building across the street, our director text me and was saying how well it was going, so I just dropped by. Spent six hours there reading lines with all these amazingly talented women and there was just something about Brie, so we got our Veronica.

Now the musical centres around high school, what were your high school years like? Where did you attend? Were you the jock or the cool kid?

Hell no. Man you’re opening old wounds, haha. I grew up in Newton near to Boston. I went to Fenway High School. I wasn’t tall enough for football so I definitely wasn’t a jock. I did play soccer when I was in kindergarten but I wasn’t really into sports. I was the guy that was either in band or in the music rooms or drama department. I was already becoming established in the industry at that age, which was really weird. My Mom kept me in a public high school and I was told I had to manage both my career and school life. I was more the drama and music nerd, that’s where my love was in school.

Did you have a nickname in High School?

Yeah, Little Man. I was really short as a kid and had a loud mouth. Some of the seniors dubbed this little asshole with that name when he was trying to square up to them. Thankfully they just accepted me as a source of humour rather than throwing my ass in a locker. Which I saw plenty of growing up.

How has it been playing JD? How would you describe him?

Absolutely fucking insane. He’s so much fun to play. I go full psychopath in Meant to be Yours. Listen to Jamie Muscato- who by the way is incredible on the cast album, then think how much fun I get to have with that number. [Oh I know, you looked like you were having a blast] You saw it? That makes me so unbelieveably happy. It’s just a lot of screaming and gasping for breath, by the end I’m clawing for breath on the floor. I think it’s such a beautiful representation of the chaos in this poor kid’s mind. Dont get me wrong, he’s an absolute maniac but also he’s just been dealt such a bad hand in life. He lost his Mom, he’s got no friends, he’s been to like ten high schools, his father is good for nothing. Then the love of his life just walked out on him. He’s having a pure mental breakdown in this scene and the composers Laurence O’Keefe and Kevin Murphy really nailed that. [You have a lot of fun with all the energy of that song] Yeah he goes quick, slow, I also love how the beat runs and I can just play with it. Our conductor is a legend, he let’s me run that scene at my own pace.

How has backstage life been at The Dolby Theatre?

Nothing but smiles and good vibes. I won’t have it any other way. The cast know the drill by now, I call by every person before show time, I’m always one of the earliest on the call sheet. It’s jsut good to go by all the dressing rooms, see my friends. I love calling in a makeup, they- heh. Fun fact, I’m incredibly ticklish so even though I have the least amount of make up in the entire cast, I’m a nightmare to put in the chair. Another fun fact, they have to airbrush my tattoos so when my coat rides up my wrists, it doesn’t show them. I’m used to that, I played Elder Price who has short-sleeved shirts. I just can’t cope so I have a set time, they get me done in twenty minutes then practically throw me out of there as fast as they can. Wardrobe are great too. I just go in and complain that I’m too hot in that coat all the time. I request if JD can have a summer vaction look as we are in Los Angeles. That request hasn’t been fulfilled quite yet. It’s just fun, everyone get along. Most of the time I’m in my room on the PlayStation or I’m doing my best to irritate Brie.

You have ten seconds to plug whatever you want.

Only ten? Wow, okay. No pressure. Please check out two charities I hold really dear to my heart. St Jude’s Children’s Hospital and Mind. They’re both incredible charities that do amazing things. There’s more information on my website if you forget those names between now and then- look I’m well aware this is over ten seconds- can you guys link them below or something? You can? Awesome. Yeah. That’s all I got then. Thank you for having me.

      ----- Catch Cooper Anderson playing JD in Heathers: The Musical -----

[vincentbuckles]

Nine underrated tools to help you achieve Financial Independence

This is a guest post by David Sawyer, author of the UK-focused financial freedom book: RESET: How to Restart Your Life and Get F.U. Money. (You can also read his previous post on Monevator!)

Although RESET stresses that hard work and good habits are the key to success in life, I’m all for cutting a few corners.

The road to financial independence is not an easy one. Anything that saves me time and makes my life easier, I embrace.

This short post profiles nine under-rated tools/shortcuts – all featured in my book – that’ll smooth your path to FIRE1 and give you more time to do what matters to you.

#1 How rich are you? / Salary calculator

Let’s start with two tools to help you put things in context and work out how much tax you’re paying.

Discovering where your salary places you compared to the rest of the world is humbling. Finding out your precise take-home pay is useful for personal financial planning (and also good to know if you’re going for a new job).

#2 How much do you need when you retire?

This is crucial. What type of life do you want to live when you retire and how much money will you need to fund it?

Spare yourself an extremely laborious task that you’ll never get round to and instead read Which?’s 2017-18 member survey of 6,000 retired and semi-retired couples.

Examine the detail and work out – factoring in the tax you’ll be paying in retirement – the before-tax amount you’ll need to draw down as an income in retirement.

#3 Candid Money’s ‘How Long?’ investment calculator

You simply plug six crucial figures into this calculator as follows:

A: Your target stash2 £

B: Your current stash3 £

C: Annual (expected) investment return %

D: Annual (expected) inflation rate %

E: Combined4 annual investment charge %

F: Monthly savings figure £

When you’ve arrived at those figures, use the calculator to find out what age you’ll be when you become financially independent. Play around with F to see how this (the main variable within your control) affects matters. When do you want to reach financial independence and how much can you save each and every month?

#4 Check your state pension

This one’s dead easy. All you need is a phone and your passport to find out how many more years you’ll need to work to qualify for the full state pension. (Not the same as accessing it, of course.)

As I write, the full state pension is £8,546.20 a year, or £17,092.40 for a couple. Who knows what it’ll be in 15 years’ time but probably not a figure to be sniffed at.

Check your state pension online at gov.uk.

If you’re lucky enough to have a final salary pension, you can also request a transfer value from your scheme administrator once a year. (It’s the law and it’s free.)

Anything over £30,000 and you’ll need an IFA5 if you do want to transfer (think carefully before you do!) and also be sure to check if the administrator is applying a percentage reduction to the CETV6 first. Final salary schemes that are in deficit are allowed to do this (again, it’s the law).

#5 MSE’s Budget Planner and Money Dashboard

These two tools work in tandem and are key to budgeting – an important and often time-consuming aspect of achieving financial independence.

MSE’s Budget Planner is a flexible spreadsheet, which breaks your outgoings down into intuitive categories. It helps you to see the effect that planned changes in spending will have, and thus to protect your all-important monthly saving figure.

Money Dashboard is a secure cloud-based open banking website that enables you to replicate and then track all the spending categories you set up in MSE’s Budget Planner. It syncs all members of your family’s current, business and savings accounts in one place. It even lets you set up ‘offline accounts’ to track things like VAT, pocket money, corporation tax – whatever you like. It gives you a real-time one-figure overview of your everyday money.

If I had to track spending manually or by logging in to umpteen accounts, I wouldn’t do it. Money Dashboard is free and I believe it’s a game-changer for UK FIREers.

#6 The LAHs

For the biggest impact visit all three: Lidl, Aldi and Home Bargains. This one’s a no-brainer, albeit you may not want to take it to the extreme of using them all.

Changing your weekly shopping habits from Tesco, Sainsbo’s, and Asda to the delights of the discount food stores could save you 30% – or in my family’s case £300 – on your monthly groceries bill.

#7 Index cards

Financial independence is a philosophy of life. A different way of looking at the world. You’ve always got to be learning, reading, discovering – but you need to do this with intent, to challenge and enhance your worldview.

To achieve this objective, you need to record what you think. Some people use emails, some Evernote, some Google Keep. I use index cards. You know, those little bits of white card with ruled lines on. I carry them everywhere and file them in boxes. They came in really useful when I was writing my book.

Sound a bit old school? Perhaps. However, I’m in good company. Ryan Holiday, Anne Lamott, Robert Greene, Oliver Burkeman, Ronald Reagan, Valdimir Nabokov and Ludwig Wittgenstein (admittedly, he probably is a bit old school) all use(d) the humble index card to catalogue and organise their thoughts.

#8 WordPress and MailChimp

Increased broadband speeds have transformed our lives. None of us would be familiar with people like Mr Money Mustache or movements like FIRE if it weren’t for the Internet. It also means that communication has become democratised. Anyone anywhere can set-up a WordPress blog and sign-up for a free MailChimp account to broadcast their thoughts into the ether.

Why would you want to do that? Well, if you’re into financial independence you’re probably into personal development, and you should definitely be into maximising your career earning potential. Blogging and setting up an email list sparks professional rejuvenation, helps you organise your thoughts, and future-proofs your career.

WordPress powers 30% of all websites and is free. MailChimp is free until you get 2,000 people on your list and it’s easy to use.

#9 Why oh why oh why? (Over to You!)

Why oh why oh why is there not a free Personal Capital-type tool on our side of the Atlantic?

You know, one place where you can synchronise all your bank accounts, where all your investment accounts also sync to – where you can do all your financial planning and have a handle on all your money and your money-based financial independence plans in one place.

I like a good tool, but I don’t know a macro from my elbow. I have tried scores of FIRE-blogger spreadsheets and other systems that purport to make it easy for me, but they only seem to work in the US or in their creators’ heads.

The everyday money thing I have sorted – Money Dashboard and Martin Lewis’s Budget Planner spreadsheet. Easy.

But what about my portfolio?

When Google sounded the death-knell to the full functionality of Google Finance Portfolio last year I was aghast. With that I had been able to manually input all my fund purchases and sales and get a lovely real-time-updated coloured chart saying how well (or badly) my investments were doing and what the rate of return was on each fund. (Useful when you’re making multiple fund purchases every month).

I’ve tried replacing it with Yahoo Finance and the Morningstar portfolio manager, and I’ve even attempted to get to grips with the Financial Times Portfolio tool. None is perfect and I find myself increasingly falling back on a combination of my fund providers, Vanguard and Fidelity – a sub-optimal solution.

So I’m wondering, how do you guys do it? What with the open banking reforms, why isn’t there a Personal Capital equivalent this side of the pond? How do you track your investment returns with the least hassle and in the shortest time?

With that said, every cloud has a silver lining… and a consequence of the absence of one tool to rule them all is my finger isn’t drawn to checking my investments on a daily basis.

That’s surely a good thing!

David Sawyer (46) is a United Nations award-winning PR man and author. He lives in Glasgow with his wife, Rachel, young kids (Zak and Jude) and pet – Hamsterdam. His first book  – RESET: How to Restart Your Life and Get F.U. Money – is priced at just £0.99 for the Kindle version until 8am Friday 4th January. In addition, David has cut the price of the paperback to just £9.99 and Amazon has knocked a further 18% off today, bringing the price down to £8.23. Get it while you’re in the mood for making resolutions!

Financial Independence Retire Early

The before-tax annual income figure you discovered above multiplied by 100 divided your safe withdrawal rate (e.g. 3.5 for 3.5% SWR.)

Your net worth minus house equity and final salary pension CETV (cash equivalent transfer value).

Ongoing charges figure (OCF), portfolio transaction costs and admin charge

Independent Financial Advisor

Cash equivalent transfer value

Nine underrated tools to help you achieve Financial Independence published first on https://justinbetreviews.weebly.com/