#the first one has been (rightfully) mocked plenty but the second part went a lot more unnoticed

[catvampire]

every time i think about that taylor swift quote i just

it's the double whammy of

implying that patriarchy has only existed for a few centuries and before that things were just peachy for women, and

that the solution to patriarchy being founded in capitalism is when woman wins at capitalism

like. it's been known for a long time that tswifts "feminism" has only ever reached as far as it personally benefits her financially but holy shit did she tell on herself with that one

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 6x22 Grave

aka doesn’t matter i still love you

Welcome to this dailyish (weekly? bi-weekly?) text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and go on an impromptu rant about it for an hour. Is it about one hyperspecific thing or twenty observations? 10 or 3k words? You don’t know! I don’t know!!! In this house we don’t know things.

And today’s episode is easily the most unconventional season finale of the show (excluding Restless, which is more of a bonus episode). Buffy doesn’t defeat the Big Bad. Or... does she?

Fun fact, Grave is the only season finale that wasn’t written by Joss Whedon. Well, depending on whether you count Primeval or Restless as the finale of season 4, since the former was also penned by David Fury instead of Whedon.

But this episode has many other distinctions as well. It comes at the heels of an already subversive season, that was meant to deconstruct the very structure of the show, as well as its characters.

Deconstruction however is tough. If you don’t do it well, your audience will rightfully call you out on needlessly pulling your story in an often darker direction to seem fake deep or interesting.

And I feel like season 6 has plenty of criticisms on that front. This certainly wasn’t one of my favorite seasons on my first, or even second go at it. It’s hard seeing characters you love hurting and acting against their own self interests. It’s even harder to see them hurt each other.

This time around however, I wanted to not only look past those previous misgivings I had, but appreciate them and what they mean to the story. Because truth be told, I’m not sure season 6 is actually more flawed than any other season of Buffy.

That doesn’t mean that there aren’t issues – Willow’s drug addiction metaphor was pushed way too hard and took away from the themes of power and control surrounding her narrative for one –, but every season has its hurdles and strengths. Season 2 had an excellent arc, but a lot of confusing fillers. Season 4 meanwhile had great standalones, but a weak overall Big Bad. Every season had its missteps, and a lot of those are subjective to begin with. One girl’s Go Fish is anothers Beer Bad.

There are no wrong answers on this quiz.

So yeah, I went into season 6 not only knowing what to expect, but expecting to gain a new, more favorable perspective on it. And that’s more or less what I got.

Sure, there are things to criticize. But what I’ve been enjoying about this Buffy rewatch in particular, is the opportunity to write long paragraphs of nonsense rather than just saying “Thing Bad”.

Look at Tara’s death. I am perpetually ready to fight Joss Whedon over that in a parking lot, but it also gave us one of the most memorable examples of a hero going dark. And people’s been coming up fixes to that storyline for years (Xander being the one to die is a popular alternative among some fans, but also time travel if you go by fanfics), but it only goes to show that that story itself still worked.

…it’s just that it works in a horrible cultural context that’s rightfully criticized for perpetuating harmful notions, especially for some of the most vulnerable of our population, and the role of media in our society as both a reflection and a model can’t be ignored and should be discussed in order to call attention to these patterns.

Anywho. Grave.

As mentioned before, this is a rather unconventional season finale. Buffy doesn’t even get to fight the Big Bad, aka Willow in this one. Instead the initial showdown happens between Giles and Willow, at least up until the moment Willow breaks free.

That doesn’t mean that Buffy doesn’t fight though. She runs to save Dawn and Xander (and also Jonathan and Andrew I guess), and then when she gets stuck underground with Dawn, she fights to get out. And then she fights some magic zombie skeletons.

More importantly though, Buffy fights her own depression. She’s fighting to see that beauty and meaning in life that she failed to convince Willow of in the last episode.

She even talks to Giles about this. She tells him that she doesn’t understand why she’s here, why she’s alive, and Giles’s response of how she has a calling feels unsatisfying.

Others would’ve taken her place. She was done.

Then why is she here now?

And Giles doesn’t have an answer to that. Because they both know that there isn’t one. There isn’t a purpose to life, no all-encompassing explanation. We all have to find our own answers to get us through the day.

And by the end, Buffy finds hers in Dawn. Seeing life through her eyes, her future, the many things that’s yet to come. It’s arguably a bit clumsy, and I wish we built more on this theme between Buffy and Dawn this season, but it does tie into another aspect of the episode.

While season 6 in itself is a deconstruction of the show, this finale, and Buffy’s arc in particular, is clearly a subversion of the end of season 5. And in true Buffy fashion, a very unsubtle one at that.

In The Gift, the sun coming up marked the turning point for Buffy, the realization that she can save Dawn by sacrificing herself.

In Grave, the sun comes up right after Giles confirms that Willow’s going to end the world.

In the season 5 finale, Buffy jumps to her death. At the end of season 6, she crawls out of the ground to live.

I could go on, but you get my point.

This is also just a great moment for Dawn, as she interrogates Buffy on why she didn’t tell her what Spike did, and reminds Buffy how she can’t protect her from the world. Tragedy happens either way.

BUFFY:  “Dawn, I'm trying to protect you.” DAWN:  “Well, you can't! Look around, Buffy. We're trapped in here! Willow's killing and people I love keep dying! And you cannot protect me from that.”

At the center of it all though is Willow. I’ve already been through the broad strokes here; basically, Willow’s rampage is about avoiding feeling her pain and grief.

And Giles understands that. I absolutely love Anthony Stewart Head’s performance in this one; Giles is focused and cautious, but there’s also genuine pain and concern in his expression as he’s talking to Willow. I also love this exchange around the end of their fight:

GILES:  “Your powers may be undeniably greater. But I can still hurt you if I have to.” WILLOW:  “Boy, you just don't get it, do you? Nothing can hurt me now. This? *heals a cut on her face* Is nothing. It's all... nothing.” GILES:  “I see. If you lose someone you love, the other people in your life who care about you become meaningless. I wonder what Tara would say about that.”

Yup. Giles definitely knows how to hurt Willow. Willow’s line of “it’s all… nothing” is also a lot, especially that little melancholic tint that Alyson Hannigan delivers it with.

But apparently this was all part of Giles’ plan to get Willow to take his magic away, so it would open up her to feel again. However, his line to her afterwards about how “she can make it stop” naturally backfires.

Willow’s been doing all this in order to stop the pain. Giles wants her to feel it to get through it, but Willow predictably would rather see the whole world burn than feel it anymore.

I’m not a super big fan of the narrative choice to have Giles comment upon what’s happening through his link to Willow after that, especially by the end as Xander shows up with her. But I do like those initial lines when he first feels what Willow does, and you can see the pain through him.

Giles later says that the magic she took from him tapped into Willow’s remaining humanity, but I’m not sure I would use that wording. Willow tried to avoid and shut off her pain through her murder trip, but that was still her. Her humanity, her pain was there underneath all along – Giles’ plan just made it harder for her to repress those emotions.

So, hence why she decided to go full apocalypse in order to stop feeling them anymore.

It definitely made it easier for Xander to get through to her in that moment too. But maybe he didn’t even need the extra supernatural help for that.

Willow spent the last three episodes trying to get away from herself. She didn’t want to come back, and she made sure to burn all her bridges in the process. Knowing that what she’s done would cost her friends only strengthened her resolve.

And here comes Xander, out of nowhere. Xander with his familiar, signature jokes, the ones that he cracks in order to cope with life.

More importantly, Xander doesn’t blink. He doesn’t fight or argues with Willow. Doesn’t try to convince her to stop. And that, paired with the familiarity momentarily disarms Willow. So she counters that by lashing out, hurting Xander.

But Xander, once again, doesn’t blink. Because he’s not bluffing. When he says that he’s okay with the world ending as long as he gets to be with his best friend, it’s because he means it.

This is a difference that I’ve been alluding with Buffy for a while now. Buffy can’t do what Xander does here. She can’t put the whole world aside to be with her best friend. That’s not who she is.

It’s definitely who Xander is though. Right or wrong, he always goes with his heart.

So, that’s what he does. He does exactly what Willow mocks him for, and tells her that he loves her.

Even if she kills him, he’ll still love her.

The fear of being unlovable is ingrained into us all on some level. It creeps in when we least expect it. Fear that we’re not good enough. Fear that we can never live up to others expectations of us. Fear that we won’t be accepted. Fear that we can’t be forgiven.

That’s why there’s so much power in unconditional love. Being told that we’ll be loved, no matter what.

We often don’t even realize the anxiety and fears we have about it and how deep they go; so the sheer relief upon hearing those words can be unexpected and overwhelming. And Willow’s no exception.

Again, she tries lashing out, telling Xander to stop, hurting him, but it’s of no use. All he does is repeat those words, even while suffering through the pain that was inflicted on him. By her. “I love you. I love you.”

And when Willow breaks, she breaks hard. Letting herself go in her best friend’s arms, feeling all of her grief at once.

Platonic love saves the day, as the show once again invokes Sarah McLachlan in its final moments. It’s a less memorable song choice than Full of Grace was at the end of season 2, but it’s a nice callback to that.

Oh, and Spike’s got his soul back, after the last few episodes aggressively tried red-herring that he went to remove his chip.

Overall, as I said, I enjoyed this season. As with all seasons, there were things that worked less so, but I generally liked the deconstruction that we’ve got around to. Instead of a Big Bad representing a metaphor for Buffy to overcome, we’ve made those struggles real. The Big Bad of season 6 was Buffy’s depression, Willow’s addiction and need for control, Xander’s baggage, and so on.

We also didn’t need to turn the characters inside out to have these turns and conflicts. The season built on well-established character flaws, and guided us through a journey full of ups and downs, culminating in an emotionally cathartic finale.

I think I’m ready for the finish line.

[1800areyouslapping]

I decided to muse about this instead because I had far too much to say for HC format. Just consider it one long, long HC.

Wow, poor Sister :( I mean, poor everybody but, wow. The main reason, (and obvious one, really) I could see all three of them separating, is due to Hanzo trying to kill Genji. So at that point, she would have lost her dad. Believes one brother is dead, murdered by Hanzo; a brother she’s admired and looked up to her whole life. And then that same brother would leave her behind. I really don’t see Hanzo taking her with him, not with his headspace at the time. 

So she gets abandoned by the last family she had left? Yeah, I’d say they last saw eachother on a bad note.

Sister!Reader even tried so hard to change Hanzo’s mind, but he was so beyond any reason. She tried to get to Genji to warn him but she failed. There was nothing she else could do. When Hanzo left he told himself that his sister would be better off left behind, maybe he really thought so. Unfortunately, Sister wasn’t better off; not at all. The clan leaders would quickly turn on her. So she had to run.

By the time Hanzo comes to his senses somewhat, Sister is more off the grid than he is. He can’t find her. Every year he honors Genji and every year he tries to find his little Sister, but to no avail. When a decade starts to roll around, just a year shy of it; Hanzo starts to think that perhaps he should be honoring his Sister’s memory as well. Until one day Hanzo is holed up in the corner of a bar one day trying to figure out his next move, that is. 

The bar owner has this terribly loud, live concert on the screens, 

“A special, one-time, live airing!!! So staayyyy tuned!” It’s obnoxious. The melodies and instrumentals are not something he enjoys. But then the singer talks, after so much singing, and a red alert sounds off in Hanzo’s mind. It’s been nearly ten years but he still knows that voice. Or maybe he’s being too hopeful. Maybe he’s losing his mind, but the singer... sounds like you. 

He watches the concert for long enough to actually learn the singer's stage name and the next tour date. The gut feeling Hanzo has is so strong and persistent, that he’ll be there at the next date to listen to the singer live and in person. Listening to her second-hand isn't good enough. He has many doubts as he’s traveling to where the singer is. She certainly doesn’t look anything like you. With the big overdone wigs, and the bright... are those purple eyes? Half of her face covered by some mock, costume ninja mask. 

The next time the singer performs he sneaks in. Holes himself up in the rafters. Just waiting for her to say something. Biting back a headache from all of the noise, and the thousands upon thousands of screaming fans. Then something even more grounding than just talking happens. A fan in the audience is holding something that is hilarious to the singer. It makes her laugh.... you laugh. Then there is no denying that it is you. You’re the singer commanding and entertaining a stadium full of twenty thousand people. 

Hanzo didn’t know what the hell to do. Eventually, he’d want to try and reunite with you; at least that’s what he thinks at first. In the meantime, he’ll do some research. Looks you up and finds that you’ve been hiding in plain sight this whole time. You walked into an audition for a girl band, “famously unprepared for it”, but nailed the audition anyway. You’ve refused to do interviews for the entirety of your career. Have never appeared without the costume ninja mask, it’s your stick. Never, not wearing an obnoxious wig, and obnoxious contacts. Your stage name and your “real name” are both ridiculous. 

You separated from the girl band five years after you joined, and started your own solo career. Now have a very loyal following, every concert always sells out. There are several infamous pictures of you traveling with a gaggle of serious, intimidating bodyguards. Security at your concerts is extremely tight. Hanzo scoffs because he snuck in just fine. 

Hanzo would end up making the decision not to insert himself back into her life. At least not until Genji comes back into his own. She’s made a name for herself. She’s relatively safe. Most importantly she’s alive, and he can easily keep an eye on her whereabouts. She probably hates him anyway, and honestly, he’s right. Sister never got the help and guidance that Genji received. 

She’s been dealing with the fact that Hanzo killed her brother and left her behind for the wolfs to pick her off, for almost ten years on her own? Yeah, Sister’s got a major chip on her shoulder, and rightfully so.

Genji’s known about Sister!Reader’s career for years. Has been following her career nearly from the very beginning. Was a big part in pushing through the papers that gave her a new identity (so she could travel, and lie effectively). The request came though Blackwatch carrying a hefty price tag. The commanders nearly denied helping Sister’s agency, but changed their mind when Genji agreed to help take down the empire. 

Genji had also known about Hanzo’s yearly habit of visiting the Castle to honor his memory for a long time. He just wanted to make sure that he ready to take charge of pulling his family back together before going and confronting either sibling. Wanted to make sure he had the confidence and the mental clarity before diving into something that would end up being so emotionally and mentally taxing. So the dragon’s short happens, we all know how that went. Genji will give Hanzo some time, and decide to try again after the recall takes place. 

Genji decides that maybe the second time around he shouldn't be such a drama queen about it lmao. And by the time the second try rolls around Hanzo has had some time to process and think about it. Therefore being in a better, calmer mental space. Not necessarily all the open, but it’s a start. The second time around they would meet eachother in a much less stressful situation and actually manage to have a decent conversation. A little curt, still very rough. Hanzo still isn’t convinced about the recall, Genji, or going with him to meet their Sister. 

If Hanzo will agree to keep having small meetings with him, Genji promises to work on bringing little Sister around (He was gonna do it anyway but psh, he’s gotta have some leverage). Genji has already been to plenty of Sister’s concerts. Is a genuine fan of her music. It was a major source of comfort for him while he was recovering, physically and mentally. 

Genji decides to buy a meet and greet ticket and just wing it. He doesn’t want to show up in your bedroom, crawling through your hotel window. You have a gaggle of bodyguards for a reason, you’re paranoid about the clan figuring you out. Just showing up would only scare you. It’d just be another dragon’s short.

So if he meets you in your own element, surrounded by your guards maybe it’ll go over better? And Genji showing up looking the way he does wouldn't faze a soul at her concert. Fans would just think its a costume, people dress up like that at her concerts all the time. It’s not big deal. 

Sister knows how to make her fans feel special. She only allows five meet and greets per show. And that’s because she wants to ensure every fan gets personal time and attention from her. So when it’s Genji’s turn, (he was last in line and for good reason) he walks into the room and she’s there, ready to greet her fan with a hug, before they sit down and she offers him the floor. She’s used to fans having a lot to say to her. So she finds it important to let them they say what they have to say. 

“Would you mind, if I took this off?” Genji asks while pointing to his helm. 

“Of course not, whatever you’re comfortable with.” 

Genji swears he’s starting to shake. Sitting this close to you he can see all the subtle familiar bone structure of your face hidden away under the mask and makeup. He never had serious doubts over the years, but sometimes a creeping suspicion that maybe the famous singer isn’t you would keep in. But being here he can see it’s definitely you. There is absolutely no doubting it. 

So he very carefully takes off his helm. The visor and the part covering his hair. Watching your every move, waiting to see any apprehension. When the helm hits the table, tears are rolling down your face. You demand that the guards leave. They protest of course, as they should. But you snap at them anyway. “I said leave!”  

You tear the mask and the wig off, without being in the safety of a dark secluded room for the first time in almost ten years. “Genji?!” 

Reuniting with you wasn’t exactly smooth from there, but it was still not dragon’s short level of freak out. It’s a lot of tears, a lot of doubt. A lot of reassurance from Genji. And a whole hell of a lot of anger when he finally finds a moment to bring Hanzo up to you. You don’t understand how he can be so fucking calm and resolute about it. He assures you it took him years and a whole lot of help to get to where he is. So it’s completely understandable that you’re angry. 

Genji, in conclusion, is the real MVP here. He’ll get Sister and Hanzo to come around to healing. Hanzo would eventually join Overwatch (but only temporarily IMO), Sis would remain in her stellar pop career. They’d have Zen around to mediate and work on getting the siblings back to a good place with eachother. It would be a fuck ton of work. And probably a few close calls for Hanzo. But they’ll get there.