#the first ever doctor who episode is the age most people get grandkids

[why-do-you-need-2-know]

Eventually your favorite fandom will forever be forgotten... except you the Merlin fandom you'll never die out and its kinda concerning.

[benoitblanc]

tagged by @castelllans (ily caroline!!!) to answer some questions!

do you prefer writing with black pen or a blue pen? black 100%

would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? city, but not in a super crowded hectic bit. like near the natural history museum in london. in one of those super expensive row houses. as you can see, i haven’t thought about this at all XD

if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? i’d love to become proficient in italian. or tap dancing

do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? i actually don’t drink coffee at all and not much tea, but on the extremely rare occasions i have english breakfast tea, i take sugar

what was your favorite book as a child? besides harry potter? my love of crime fiction started really early with the a to z mysteries by ron roy. i loved ruth rose so much

do you prefer baths or showers? showers- i never have time for a bath

if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? a phoenix or a dragon!

paper or electronic books? absolutely paper

what are your favorite items of clothing? i have a t-shirt with the entirety of les miserables written on it in tiny text, and another with the entirety of the secret garden. i also love my stage management outfits, which are literally just whatever black clothing i can find the day of, but they always make me feel so badass

do you like your name? would you like to change it? i do, actually! my first name is extremely common and anglican but i think it fits me anyway. my middle name, what i go by on tumblr, is after fucking arwen undomiel- no, i’m not joking, i was legitimately named by my parents after arwen undomiel- so what’s not to like lol

who is a mentor to you? all the more experienced members of my production team are always so helpful and supportive and lovely. i miss them a lot

would you like to be famous? if so, what for? honestly? probably not. i’d like to be well-respected in my field but i don’t think that’s the same thing

are you a restless sleeper? yes, which sucks

do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? i’m a weird mixture of “absolute cynic” and “hopeless romantic” so... i suppose?

which element best describes you? air or fire

who do you want to be closer to? i forgot to answer this question last night- the answer here was copy-pasted from caroline with the rest of the game, sorry caroline- but there are several people i see on a semi-regular basis (during normal times) who i’m sort of friendly with but i’d love to be friends with

do you miss anyone at the moment? i miss all of my friends a ridiculous amount, but especially my idiot actors. (you all have probably heard at least one idiot actor story if you’ve been following me for any length of time.) they all mean the world to me, and i can’t wait until we’re all back in the theatre

tell us about an early childhood memory. when i was really little, like 3-5ish, i would always go to a family friend’s house while my mum worked. the family friend had three kids, one a year above me, one my age, and one two years younger. i have a handful of weirdly specific memories from their house, but my favorite is when the kid my age and i were playing on their swingset and when the mom called us in for lunch, she joked “oh, where are arwen and ben? i think they’ve swung into space! maybe to the moon!” i was maybe like four and i can still remember that she made us macaroni and cheese. it was a good day

what is the strangest thing you’ve eaten? i’m completely blanking on this one. i’ve eaten some weird shit in england but nothing too bizarre. elizabeth sponge, which is basically lavender-flavored victoria sponge, was pretty horrendous though. victoria sponge is such a perfect dessert and then you go and make it taste like perfume??? why???

do you like spicy foods? usually! as long as they aren’t too spicy

have you ever met someone famous? i went to elementary school with one of stephen king’s grandkids, aka joe hill’s son, so i’ve met joe hill. he and my dad would always talk about doctor who while they waited to pick us up. he actually wasn’t as weird as you would expect. my classmate, on the other hand, was exactly as weird as you would think a king would be

do you keep a diary or journal? i have made several attempts to do so and inevitably fail every time

do you prefer to use pen or pencil? depends on the situation

what is your star sign? pisces

do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? in between!

what would you want your legacy to be? that i did something good for the world. i touched someone’s life in some way

do you like reading? what was the last book you read? i adore reading. i would die if i couldn’t read. i’m currently reading my dear hamilton by stephanie dray and laura kamoie, but the last book i finished was a reread of the raven king by maggie stiefvater

how do you show someone you love them? just by being a shoulder to lean or cry on more than anything. also, lots and lots of teasing in a fun, mutual, bestie banter (or straight-up flirting depending on the person) way

do you like ice in your drinks? in water or lemonade, but nothing else

what are you afraid of? wasps and gas masks and failure

what is your favorite scent? the specific mix of evergreen, cold air, woodsmoke, peppermint, stale popcorn, something baking, and snow that you only get at christmastime

do you address older people by their name or surname? depends on how well i know them

if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? in london in one of the aforementioned row houses, doing the things i love and travelling as much as i could

do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? neither. lake supremacy. (i do enjoy pools and the sea, but lakes are best)

what would you do if you found $50 on the ground? attempt to figure out who it belonged to, most likely

have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? i think i’ve seen a couple, but i don’t remember making a wish

what is one thing you would want to teach your children? the boldest thing you can do is just be kind

if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? ...i don’t want tattoos, so nothing

what can you hear now? the hum of my air purifier

where do you feel the safest? my theatre is simultaneously where i feel the safest and where i have the most anxiety attacks. no clue why, although maybe it’s because i feel safe enough there to let myself freak out a little 

what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? i’m making it my goal this summer to overcome my phobia of thunderstorms. i’ve progressed to the point where a calm, rumbly storm actually makes me really happy now, which is great! i’d also love to just... stop having the aforementioned anxiety attacks but not sure how much i can do about that lol

if you could travel back to an era, what would it be? assuming none of the bigoted shit that was inevitably going down in literally any era is applicable, either the 1920s or 1940s

what is your most used emoji? 😂

describe yourself using one word? tenacious

what do you regret the most? i honestly don’t have many regrets, which is wonderful. the one i do have i flipflop between not giving a flying fuck about and going “oh god i really fucked up there!”, so it’s complicated XD

last film you saw? a rewatch of the avengers

last tv show you watched? technically both marvel agent(s) shows because i’m getting clips for giffing purposes- and side note the carter lighting designer owes me money at this point for making me go through this coloring bullshit over and over- but the last show i saw a full ep from was leverage

invent a word and it’s meaning. praecipience (n.)- the feeling of sickening anticipation you get right before something that you know is coming, like a cast list or an episode or opening an acceptance/rejection letter or an execution

tagging anyone who wants to do it :)

[missmarthanightingale]

graham o’brien in s11

basic facts:

he was born sometime in the 1960s, probably, which puts him in his late 50s at the start of s11.  he used to be a bus driver, but had to retire, presumably for reasons related to his cancer.  he married grace sinclair 3 years prior to twwfte, around the same time that he officially went into remission.  he’s a fan of call the midwife & action movies.

character traits:

practical/cautious

graham really is a thoroughly practical sort, & i adore him for it.  the doctor doesn’t really do snack breaks, so he starts carrying sandwiches with him wherever they go.  he worries about having to pay damages for vandlism in a hotel room.   he imagines his late wife talking to him, & she teases him about having to figure out how the hoover works, which is so mundane & adorable.  he knows the geography of sheffield, even though according to his profile he was only ever a bus driver in essex, because it’s habit & he knows how useful it is to know these things.

he is, at any given moment, the most likely to be worrying about the immediate consequences to himself & his loved ones, & the least likely to get carried away with something else.  in twwfte he’s happy to do what he can to help with the main plot, but until they’re dealt with, his primary concern is the dna bombs, which is a very reasonable reaction.  he has a cautious nature, his first instinct is to run away from danger, unless he’s been given a good reason to run towards it.  he questions the doctor as a way of getting her to explain herself, & acts as the main voice of reason as needed.

loyal/protective/caring

graham’s certainly loyal, primarily to grace & ryan.  twwfte is an episode full of a man letting himself get dragged along on an adventure he has very little interest him because his wife & her grandkid are committed which means, in his own eyes, he has no choice but to go along with them.  throughout the series he is constantly with ryan, trying to protect him & take care of him to the best of his ability.  yaz & the doctor he doesn’t see as his responsibility the way ryan is, but he does consider them his friends & seems pretty loyal to them as well.

he’s really just a thoroughly decent guy.  he connects with people, he’s good with people.  he easily convinces durkas cicero to open up to him, befriends prem, establishes a rapport with charlie; he listens to them when they need to talk to someone & gives them good advice.  he does the same with yaz in demons of the punjab, letting her vent her feelings before giving her a bit of perspective & helping her understand the other side of things.  he even does a pretty good job of connecting with people he doesn’t like that much, because however much they tick him off he’s able to keep from antagonising them, a level of restraint largely beyond the others.

motivation

a lot of his initial attitude after she dies seems to be along the lines of What Would Grace Do.  when they’ve been basically kidnapped, he deliberately makes an effort to see the adventures through grace’s eyes, as a way of cheering himself up & a way of remembering her.  he tries to act according to what she would have wanted him to do, or wanted to do herself; mixed in with his survivor’s guilt is this desire to sort of live on her behalf, to honour her in a sense.  when he’s imagining grace in arachnids, he says to her “i have so much to tell you” because he knows how much she’d have loved to hear about it all, & loved even more to have lived it with them.  when he makes the decision to keep traveling with the doctor, it still partly a question of What Would Grace Do, partly an urge to run away from the place where his grief is strongest for a while, & partly - the most important part - because he has a taste for it, now.  he looked at it through her eyes & learned to love it, & now he’s doing it for himself.

mostly for himself.  there’s also ryan.  i think it’s really interesting that graham’s so committed to ryan, especially when ryan doesn’t encourage it at all.  it would have been really easy for graham to throw in the hat & just accept that ryan doesn’t want to be his family, especially with grace gone, but he didn’t.  i think ryan’s actually all graham has, in terms of family.  apart from the tardis crew, he’s pretty much alone in the world, & has been for a while now.  if he had any family members he was close to, he’d have mentioned them; personally i’d guess that graham’s an only child, but if he has siblings they’re not close.  i really don’t think he’s ever been a father, & his missteps with ryan are the moments when he’s channeling his only experience with parenting, his own dad, who from resolution seems to have been the stoic sort.  it’s the idea that ryan needs him which saves him in it takes you away, & the idea that ryan wants him that gives him pause with his plan in tborak.  ryan’s his connection to the world, the way grace was when he was struggling with cancer, which makes him a pretty important factor in any decisions graham makes.

the doctor:

there is so much snarking with these two, endless banter back & forth, it’s excellent.

you know, something that really frustrates me about these two is that graham is in a really good position to understand the doctor in a way that very few companions usually are.  he’s nowhere near as old as her, but he has much more experience at life than most people who travel with her.  even though he’s very different from her, we’ve seen how good he is at letting people talk.  if she ever wanted to, say, share something with him about how age weighs on her, or how much she needs other people around to keep her going, or how hard she’s finding it to hold on to hope, or how she’s struggling with the darkness inside her, or how much she wants to run away sometimes, he’d hear her & accept her.

but she doesn’t talk to him.  maybe she just doesn’t want to talk; maybe she forgets how mature he is in human years.  but god, their dynamic could be so much more than what it is, & it’s What We Deserve.

[alicentsstark]

Can You Build Me A Brother?

NOTE: This fic was requested by @disneyevilprincessblog , I changed it up a bit but nonetheless here it is an Athena & Eric fic ft. drakgo! Hope you enjoy it, also it’s pretty short... (also sorry if I somehow translated something wrong in Spanish, I’m always forgetful about how to write it which is ironic considering I can speak it fairly well for someone who’s forgotten how to for a few years. I swear guys I’m bilingual, my brain is just dumb) Anyway, enough about my attempts at writing in my somewhat native laguage, enjoy the story! 

"Can I have a baby brother?" Was the words that made Shego choke on her second cup of coffee. Drakken put down his newspaper and looked at the robotic teen who had the same stubborn expression that he had when working on a project. It was uncanny how much Athena had picked up their mannerisms of both him and Shego.

"So you want a twin?" Drakken asked only for Athena to shake her head.

"No way. Just a little brother, maybe a couple of years younger wouldn't be too bad?" She offered. "Please!" Bringing out the doe eyes knowing the mad scientist would say yes instantly. It was Shego who dug her heels in this plan.

"Are you sure you want a brother?" It wasn't what they thought, the part of taking care of another robotic child. It was the fact that Shego knew what it was like to have a sibling, three brothers and some tiny part of her didn't want Athena to go through a similar area. The girl nodded seriously. If there was one area of expertise that Shego had, it was having a young sibling, possibly the only sibling that Shego actually somewhat tolerated and cared. Mego and Hego... well they were another story. But her focus was on Athena, who had a very hopeful and determined expression on her face, that she really wanted a sibling. Looking over at Drakken, Shego knew she was already outnumbered all she could do was make sure robot-kiddie number 2 wouldn't explode when they made him through the final stages.

So they agreed and were greeted with cheers of excitement from Athena. She was already babbling about, "We need to pick a name for him!" and "It has to be a good name, not a boring name!" Which made Shego groan that the fact that she would have to search for a name once again. Drakken and Athena were already bouncing in their seats about what age they should make her new sibling. After much discussion and Shego drinking her third cup of coffee, they decided that a five-year-old would be a rather good age for a new robot.

Shego was reading lists of boy names online as Drakken muttered under his breath about the structure for said robot while they laid in bed together. Anthony? No. Luke? No. Marcos? No. Diego? No. Daniel? Oh, god no! 

All of those names sounded bad and she should know, considering one of them was the name of the character from Rebelde!

She was tempted to name the robotic boy after her dad or her older brother as a personal inside joke, considering he acted like a robot, but scratched that idea. She continued on with the name hunting until one caught her eye, after bouncing it around her head. It sounded good. She was going to tell Drakken but could already hear the soft snores from the man on her right side of the bed. She'll tell him tomorrow then.

"Eric?" Drakken said. Shego nodded while dumping a spoonful of sugar into her coffee. Athena munched on her cereal, looking at the villainess.

"I like it. Reminds me of Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid." She grinned. Shego made them think that's where she got it from and not from her younger brother's middle name... She wondered how soft she could get when it came to the people around her. Athena, Drakken, Wesley and now the new addition, Eric. God, next thing she'd know she'll be turning into her mom. Which wouldn't be a bad thing but... nobody would want to turn into their mom.

Soledad Bracamontes-Go was a woman that loved her family fiercely, someone that Shego looked up too. She wondered how her mom would react to the news that Shego had not one, but two children. No doubt her mom along with her dad would be ecstatic over the fact that they have grandkids to spoil. It would be wise to not tell them that they were robots... How can you even tell that sort of news to your half-Mexican family in the first place?

Hi Mami, hi Dad! So, good news I have two kids, their names are Athena and Eric, also their robots! See you at Navidad! 

Yeah, not really news to have for her parents. 

"Shego?" Athena looked at her. Shego blinked, noticing that she spaced out into her thoughts while the two of them were chatting away. "What?" She asked them.

"We'll need to decorate a new room for him. He'll need a cool color, like the rest of us. How about red?" She asked brightly. Drakken nodded and Shego wanted to scream. It felt like some universal karma that the second robotic child would no doubt have similarities to her family. Shego just shrugged and tried not to think about another little boy who wore red that once loved her.

When the time came for the awakening of the new family member, Drakken had Athena pull the lever. Electricity was felt through every nerve in her body as she watched the small form light up. When it was over, the robot's chest rose up and down. Taking a good look at him, she had to hand it to Drakken, he made Eric look a lot like Athena. Minus the hair color which was a bit darker similar to Shego's the boy's skin and facial was similar to Athena's. Some bone (or metal) structure differences but it was the same and when he opened his eyes, it was a pretty shade of hazel that stared back at the three people.

They named him Eric and after Athena changed him, she started to introduce the young boy to the others. "I'm Athena, your big sister." SHe pointed to Drakken. "That's Doctor Drakken, he's our... dad and that's Shego, our... mom? Welcome to the family!" Athena added cheerfully at the end. 

Drakken smiled at Eric, who waved and looked towards Shego. Without any warning, the young boy walked up, without a hint of fear looked up at the villainess and said, "Up!" Gesturing for her to pick him up. The mad scientist grinned while Athena smothered a giggle. Shego moved her jaw around before reluctantly bending down and picking Eric up.

It was a trial for the three of them, Eric wanting to either cling to Shego or with Drakken. Athena was there to show him the ropes of being a robotic looking human, while Drakken seemed to like having another boy, teaching Eric how to make a ray gun. Shego tried letting Athena and Drakken keep Eric entertained but the little robotic boy found her in her usual spot, on the couch watching tv. He would especially like to sit on her lap and snuggle, she didn't want to let him do that but it started to grow on her.

Today, Shego was watching a rather old telenovela while Eric was playing with her hair, braiding it and unbraiding one of her strands. It wasn’t a show that she would have watched back when she was a teen, it seemed right up her mom’s alley of telenovelas to watch, like The Rosa De Guadalupe or as Shego used to call it, The Most Dramatic-Cheesy Show To Ever Grace Television, right up there with Rubi. This one was another dramatic one (as any of them were) called Las Tontas No Van Al Cielo, granted she was only on the first episode but it was getting to the eye-rolling factor when the main girl decided to fake her death. Still, Shego was curious how this plot would play out, so decided to record the next few episodes before continuing to watch it.  After a while of watching the show, Drakken would find Shego stretched out on the couch while Eric laid on top of her, dead asleep while she watched the Mexican-Telenovela on TV. 

Shego noticed the older man, watching her while she was watching her show with Eric on top of her. She raised an eyebrow at the scientist, non verbally asking him, What?

"He's seemed to be fond of you Shego and you seem to be fond of him." Drakken smiled at her, watching the way Shego’s hand stroked Eric’s dark hair as he slept on top of her. "Shut up," she muttered.  She didn't want to tell them that she was slowly starting to be fond of their addition as well. But it was pretty obvious, just like her fondness for the rest of these dorks. 

Drakken didn’t say anything, instead, he left her alone humming some tune as he walked away. Shego looked at the little robot boy who seemed to worm his way into her heart. 

“Usted es afortunado que eres precioso Eric.” She murmured in Spanish before going back to watching her show. 

[allieinarden]

FORCES (Foundation for the Observation of Reality-altering Conditions and Existential Studies) SUBJECT: Milo Danger Murphy

Foundation: So you've made a new friend. Subject showed signs of excitement. Subject: Yeah! Zack Underwood! He's so cool! He teamed up with me and Melissa on our science project and we got an A!

Foundation: And he has all the proper insurance forms filled out? Subject: Yeah, that's fine. My dad knows his mom. She works at the hospital, so he sees a lot of her. Foundation: You met him at the beginning of the school year? Subject: Yeah, at the bus stop! Things got pretty weird from there. Foundation: Your friend Melissa mentioned wolves, bees-- Subject began to tick disasters off on his fingers as named. Subject: --concrete drainage pipe, floodwater, I think there was some fire in there somewhere, alien abduction-- Foundation: You were abducted by extraterrestrials? Subject: Yeah! Foundation: Both of you? Subject: Yeah, me and Zack. He talked them out of it. Foundation: He talked them into letting you go? Subject: Yeah, he's really smart! I think that's why he gets along so well with Melissa. They're both smart! They figured out that Doctor Zone was Time Ape's brother before they even saw the movie! Foundation: Wait. He's Time Ape's brother?!? Subject appeared distressed. Subject: Sorry! Spoilers, sorry-- Foundation: I hadn't seen the movie yet. Subject: Murphy's Law, applies to spoilers too, sorry. I'll just back away-- Subject pushed his feet against the floor to move his stool. Subject fell backwards over stool. Foundation: No, it's...You were talking about Zack, um... Subject, lifting his head from the floor, brightened. Subject: ...Underwood! Subject laughed. Subject: Yeah, he's great! Melissa and I were talking and we think he's just what our group needed, actually! The voice of reason! Foundation: "Group?" Subject: I mean, it's only been a few months, but it feels like he's been around for ages! He's really one of us. Foundation: You have reason to believe that he will continue to spend time with you. Subject hesitated briefly but otherwise did not react. Subject: --I mean, yeah! Why wouldn't he? Foundation: We don't wish to discourage you from forming friendships, but based on past reports-- Subject: Yeah. Yeah, I know. Foundation: We just don't want you setting yourself up for more disappointment. Subject: No, it's okay, he's--you know, he's like Melissa. I think.

(Melissa Chase, friend of subject: Can confirm. Zack Underwood is ride or die. And if he gets off the ride, I'll take care of the "die" part. Subject expressed commingled amusement and horror. Subject: Melissa!)

Foundation: You turned thirteen on October 13th. Subject laughed. Subject: Yeah, like always. Subject smiled broadly as though suddenly remembering something. Subject: But it wasn't like always! Oh man, it was amazing! Zack and Melissa threw me a real birthday party! Foundation: You've celebrated your birthday in the past. Subject: Yeah, but just at home. Stuff would always go wrong. Foundation: We have a record here of a seventh birthday party-- Subject: Yeah, that was why. But you know what they did? They had it at a go-kart track! That way everyone had to wear helmets anyway! I told you they were smart. Foundation: Melissa has always been a quick thinker. Subject: Yeah, you said it! Man, you wouldn't believe the stuff she did to trick me into going there! But you know, it never would have happened if it wasn't for Zack! It was his whole idea! Foundation: He had known you for a little over a month. Subject: I know, isn't he great? He heard about the other parties and he wanted me to have just one where nothing went horribly wrong. And nothing did! Foundation: Nothing went wrong? Subject: Oh, a bunch of things went wrong! Wonderfully wrong. Like there was this big sign that fell right on the track and we used it as a ramp, and-- Foundation: Both of your parents report an arial explosion of cake and ice cream. Subject: Yeah, that was the most amazing thing! I almost thought Zack and Melissa had planned that, but they hadn't! It wasn't even our cake! We heard later that some trucks had crashed and there was this whole chain of events that led to all this stuff exploding right over our heads right when we needed it! See, Diogee had eaten the cake we had already and we thought there wasn't gonna be any, but then-- Subject seemed at a loss to express himself. Bounced up and down in stool. Foundation: It was good luck. Subject, on the verge of upsetting his stool again, stopped short. Subject: Yeah. Yeah, it was good luck! I never thought of that! Not for the people at the track who had to clean it, though. I felt kind of bad. But mostly just thrilled! Foundation: According to our interviews with your parents, you've had a remarkable run of good luck lately. Subject: Yeah, you know? I made a new friend, I got a birthday party, I got to go to a football game--and we won! And I saved the opera--I mean, from stuff that went wrong because I was there, but I still saved it, and Aman--and everybody liked my singing--Oh man, it's been like the best school year ever! Foundation: Which is curious, considering the track record. Subject: Yeah! Thirteen is supposed to be like the worst year, right? Unlucky number? Foundation: We think it has more to do with the effects of puberty and bodily maturation on the condition itself than with unlucky numbers, but yes, that has held true for previous EHML carriers, including your father. Subject: Weird, right? Maybe the new bad luck and my regular bad luck are canceling each other out! Foundation: Nothing is impossible. We're asking your parents to exercise caution, however. We'll ask the same of you. You know why? Subject: "It's quiet, Time Ape. Too quiet." Subject laughed. Subject: That's from Season 3, Episode 14: "Zone Stops For No Man."

(Brigette Murphy, mother of current subject and wife of previous: I agree. It was very strange. It was very...Milo. Foundation: You mean it seemed personal. Brigette: It was like it had been made for him. Or by him. I don't even mean by his condition. His condition's always been very impersonal. But it was like--if you could imagine his mind doing something-- Foundation: So you tend toward our hypothesis that this may have been a spontaneous outflow of emotion. A kind of psychic self-expression. Brigette: I don't know what I think. I've never seen it happen like that before. Not with Martin either. I mean, their moods have an influence, of course. He was so excited the whole party that I figured something probably had to give, but I didn't think it'd give like that. Foundation: And he seemed to calm down after that? Brigette: Well, no, he didn't calm down, I actually think he ramped it up a little--man, you should've seen the go-kart track when that boy was through with it-- Foundation: But there was a release. Brigette: ...Yeah. Yeah, that's just it. I think he'd been feeling pretty anxious before--you know, he's never had a birthday before that didn't get ruined, but...Yeah, that's just it. A release.)

Foundation: You've expressed interest in a girl in your class. Subject became excited. Subject: What? No way! Who told you that, my mom? Foundation: Yes, actually. Subject waved a hand dismissively. Subject: Oh, you know how moms are! She just can't wait to have little cursed grandkids! Foundation: Milo. We appreciate your need for privacy, but it is vital to our research that you speak only the truth. Subject dropped his gaze, laughing nervously. Subject: Ah, okay...she's beautiful, all right? She really is. Subject squirmed in his seat. Subject: But--everybody thinks so! It's not just me. Foundation: Nonetheless, her immediate family will have to be informed of the matter. Subject's head shot up so suddenly that the backward momentum knocked his stool over again. Subject scrambled to his feet, seeming hardly to notice. Subject: You're going to tell her parents? What, that I like her? You can't! Foundation: We have overwhelming evidence, based on past data collected from your father and grandfather, as well as anecdotal evidence regarding your great-grandfather, that objects of romantic interest to EHML sufferers tend to be targeted by the law itself. Subject: You can't tell them! It's not like I'm all that into her! I mean...I mean, I am, but I don't know her well enough to--I've been keeping a distance 'cause I don't want to mess her up. She's really organized, you know? Having everything go right--it means a lot to her. Foundation: Murphy's Law of Attraction. Subject: It'll be fine! She's, like, afraid to go near me anyway! So you've got to promise me you won't tell her parents. She can tell them herself. Promise me!

(Martin Murphy, previous subject and father of current subject: Yeah, it's true. We go for the type A girls. All of us have. Foundation: Our studies of your predecessors back that up. Martin: We have family legends going even before your records. Basically, the less a girl likes our condition the more we like her. High school wasn't easy. Foundation: And yet you and Brigette have been happily married for over twenty years. Martin: Yeah, twenty-two years in June. Foundation: And all the Murphys have been known for strong marriages. Martin: Well, that's the thing. My dad used to say--how'd he put it? "When you've been through everything that can go wrong..." Foundation: It strengthens the bond. Martin: Yeah, that's really the bottom line. People go into a marriage, you know, they aren't really thinking about the "for worse" part. They get along great, everything's great, and then the first thing that goes wrong wrecks the whole thing. Me and Brigette, we already knew that everything would go wrong. We just decided we'd better enjoy it. Foundation: And these obstacles...they were all external. Martin: I mean, we fight, like any other couple. We have our disagreements, but the bottom line is we're fighting the outside stuff too hard to be wasting time with the rest of it. I don't really know what I did without her. She's my rock. Foundation: You planned on having children from the beginning. Martin: We both wanted kids. Foundation: There was no hesitance on your part about your status as a carrier? Martin: Oh, there was tons of that. Go look through my files from the 90s, I spill my guts to you guys all over about that. But we still wanted to do it. Foundation: And when Brigette became pregnant a second time? Martin: I'll tell you something crazy. It was actually easier for me. I was so relieved when Sara was a girl, I thought, okay, that's one kid I don't have to worry about. But I did still have to worry about her, y'know, because of me. I was almost afraid to even sleep next to Brigette when she was pregnant, I thought maybe I'd make something happen to the baby just being there, you know, I didn't know. Foundation: She was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. Martin: Yeah. See, that's the thing, I'm told that's a common complication, could've happened without me, but--you don't know, right? Man, I was afraid to hold her. I remember she kept trying to take her first little steps toward me and the second she hit the splash zone she'd fall right on her face--I said "Brigette, you make her walk towards your mother or something, I can't do this." Because she'd fallen like five times and she just kept getting back up there and going straight for me, I couldn't stop her. She was like her mom, I couldn't get rid of her. But Milo...(chuckling), man, that kid was making stuff happen way before he was born. Brigette's just walking around and shelves are dropping, cars are hitting the curb...y'know, it was like, comical. It was too much. It was too much to even worry about. I said "I can't possibly make this worse." I said "when this kid is born I'm going to hug him so hard he pops a stitch." Because he was probably going to anyway.)

Foundation: Your sleeping arrangements haven't altered. Subject: Nope, still sleeping in the loft bed. Diogee! Subject's dog, who had entered the room unseen, yowled. Foundation: He's not supposed to be in the building. Subject attempted sternness. Subject: You're not supposed to be in the building! Go home, boy! Subject's dog whined. Subject appeared downcast. Foundation: No, I meant he shouldn't have been able to enter. We've increased our security measures since your last checkup and...oh, but he's come here every time, let him stay. Subject brightened. Lifted dog onto his lap. Foundation: We were discussing your affinity for the loft bed. Subject: Yeah, you know, what can you do? I still can't sleep any lower down than that. I've tried. Foundation: Both your parents note that elevation relaxes you. Subject: Weird, right? You'd think it'd do the opposite, considering! Foundation: Our records show that at one time you fell out of bed every single night. Subject: Sure, I was used to it! We had a mattress, you know, on the floor. Foundation: And you no longer do. Subject: Yeah, we sure beat that one! Score one for the Murphys! Foundation: Tell us how. Subject: Aww, I told you how last time. Foundation: Remind us. Subject sighed. Subject: Okay, you know how the odds of improbable disaster increase around me? Like, it doesn't happen with my dad, really. He thinks I'm gonna have more normal problems when I'm older. Boy, I can't wait. Foundation: Stay on message. Subject: I am. Okay, so the loft bed had a rail and stuff kept happening to it. It broke when I leaned on it, it caught on fire, one time it got eaten by termites--my dad just kept replacing them. Y'know, fight the good fight. But then my mom said, "Let's not and see what happens." Foundation: And you didn't have any problems after that. Subject: Never did! I'm sleeping eight feet up, no railing, no problem. It's like a superpower! And I get a lot more floor space in there now that we got rid of the extra mattress. Though I kind of do miss jumping on it. Not bouncing off it out the window, though, don't miss that. It's fun until you hit the ground, but you wouldn't believe how long recovery-- Foundation: Your theory is that likely disasters become proportionally less likely. Subject: Yeah, that's what we all think. At least with me. My dad got weirder stuff when he was a kid. Now he has just normal stuff, like falling off his bike, getting stuck in an elevator--he can't be on the roof, not ever. Can you imagine? Sometimes when I'm up there repairing the satellite dish he'll walk by and shake his fist, "Enjoy it while you can, kid!"-- Foundation: You repair the satellite dish? On the roof? Subject: Yeah, I like it up there. It's quiet, you know?

(Sara Murphy, sister of subject: Yeah, don't tell him, but he's wrong about the loft bed. The dog is saving his life. Foundation: Diogee, so we're clear. How do you spell that again? Sara: D-I-O-G-E-E. He's very insistent on the E-E. Foundation: The dog? Sara: No, Milo. God help you if you spell it with a Y. Anyway, every night that dog comes into his room and just lies there between him and the edge of the mattress. That dog's got a ridiculous center of gravity, he's like a doorstop. Even Murphy's Law can't budge him. Foundation: He does have a remarkable immunity. Sara: I'd call it more of a talent. The vet thinks maybe he used to be a service dog--y'know, before he found us. Foundation: A service dog for Murphy's Law? Sara: Who even knows? He's adaptable. He's a lot like Milo that way. Maybe that's why they like each other. But he reminds me of me, too--he's got that sixth sense, he knows something's going to happen before it does. Real Murphy. Foundation: He's been in the picture for some time now. Sara: Six years, baby. Just glued himself to Milo's side and never left. My mom calls him "the countercurse." Foundation: Ah. Sara: We've talked about getting some kind of doctor's note so he can go more places. 'Cause you saw--he just goes anyway, it's not like we could stop him. Not like we'd even want to. He makes us all breathe easier. Foundation: No doubt. Your brother’s continued fondness for heights... Sara: Yeah, it's alarming, but kind of cute, isn't it? He's got the treehouse in the backyard--it's, I mean, it's hard, but you gotta let the kid live his life. And he really doesn't fall as often as you'd think he would. He adapts. I'm proud of him. Foundation: You don't think that this is a side effect of his condition? Sara: You mean adapting? No. I mean, that's a result. It's what you gotta do. But he's a determined guy, I think he'd be like that anyway. Foundation: We refer to his tendency to court danger. Sara: To court danger? He doesn't do that! None of the Murphys ever did! Well, okay, there was Grandpa Murphy. (She laughed.) But listen, seriously--we've got more than enough of that stuff coming our way without asking for it. And Milo doesn't ask. He's made a decision to enjoy it. What do you want him to do? Foundation: The loft bed, the tree house-- Sara: That's not daredevil stuff, that's kid's stuff. Regular kid's stuff. You know, that used to be my treehouse. It’s more dangerous when he does it, but everything he's gonna do is dangerous. Sitting alone in the kitchen is dangerous. Doing his homework is dangerous. He might as well live. Foundation: It is because we want him to live that we have repeatedly recommended that he avoid unnecessarily-- Sara: (She seemed struggling to maintain her good humor.) Save the lecture for my parents. I'm only in charge if a satellite hits the house. We have a whole emergency drill. Foundation: We recognize that you have no power over his actions. But we wondered, given how long you have had the opportunity to observe him, whether you might be able to offer us some insight. Sara: Insight? Into what? I've given you all I have. Foundation: The question of whether the Murphy's Law condition is self-sabotaging. Sara: What? Foundation: We have worked for some time with the hypothesis that EHML perpetuates itself--in other words, that it actively works to keep its sufferers alive in order to pass the condition on in turn. Sara: Yeah. Foundation: We are considering the possibility that the condition carries no such property and, in fact, actively works against its carrier. Sara: It seems pretty obvious to me that it does work against its carrier. Foundation: This is a question of whether EHML should be thought of as a mutation--a trait, as it were, presenting features which, while inconvenient to the carrier, are not malevolent in themselves--or whether we should rather categorize it as a disease, inherently harmful to its sufferer. Sara: Hmm. Well, it's not a disease. I don't think. They're all healthy. Milo's healthier than I am. He eats better than me and he gets more exercise. A lot more. Foundation: But why does he eat better? Sara: Uh. So he doesn't get sick. Foundation: He gets sick more easily. Sara: Well, sure. Murphy's Law. Foundation: That carries some serious implications. The human immune system was designed to fight off illness. Sara: Sure. And his does a great job. He catches nearly everything that goes around, but he's had so many things by now that he's usually not sick for long. One day. The ol' antibodies know the drill. Foundation: In other words, his immune system functions, but it allows the pathogens to enter in nearly all cases. Sara: Nearly all. He takes his Vitamin C. Can I go now? Foundation: What we're trying to determine is whether his body is itself working against him. Sara: What? If it is, it's doing a terrible job! This kid heals faster than anybody I've ever met! Foundation: Our records confirm that he recovers quickly. Yet an increasing body of evidence suggests that he may unconsciously be seeking his own destruction. Sara: Seeking his own--Look, is this about the loft bed? Foundation: Among other things. Sara: Do you guys ever consider that maybe he has personality traits? That not every inclination he exhibits is attributable to Murphy's Law? Foundation: Well-- Sara: You'd never catch my dad sleeping above ground! The guy is as cautious as they come! Milo likes to come prepared and then have his fun! They're different people! Foundation: We're only asking-- Sara: Well, I'm sick of answering! Milo's a human being and he's the biggest nerd I've ever met, and he loves people and he likes to play the concertina and watch Doctor Zone with me, and he's a great guy! And all of that has nothing to do with Murphy's Law! He's had to develop some skills and stuff to deal with it, but those aren't symptoms or side effects or anything. Those are his. We didn't even help him. He did them by himself. (Having apparently released the brunt of her frustration, she settled down, a bit more subdued.) Sara: Now can you put that in your file on Milo Murphy? Please? Foundation: We already did. Sara: You know, he just made a new friend, Zack Underwood. And everyone was like, "Wow, how brave to hang out with Milo." Even my parents said it. But you know what I thought? You know what was the first thing I thought? "Wow, what a lucky kid." I'm serious. I thought, "Wow, I hope for that kid's sake that he sticks with it, because Milo is the greatest friend a person could have." You should write that down too.)

[NOTE: Word back from OWCA confirms that "Diogee" not among operatives; background checks with similar agencies across the country have likewise failed to locate him on their records.]

Melissa Chase, friend of subject: All right, I've got Zack up on video chat. Say hi, Zack. Zachary Underwood, recent acquaintance of subject: Hi. Um, was I supposed to do anything? Prepare anything-- Foundation: No, you're all right. Your first day at school with Milo Murphy-- Underwood's eyes widened in what appeared to be dawning comprehension. Underwood: Oh, this is gonna be about the ETs, right? We weren't on their ship that long, but they seemed to understand English and--hey, you're not gonna wipe my memory, are you? Chase: Relax, Zack. He's here to talk about Milo. Underwood: Oh, Milo. Right. Are you guys his doctors? Foundation: In a manner of speaking. Underwood: Well, uh. Yeah, Milo. What do you want to know? Foundation: Any little thing that struck you. Underwood: Well, since meeting him, several boulders, a falling telephone pole and a golf cart. Chase: He's proud. Underwood: I'm getting used to it. Foundation: You've elected to spend time with him nonetheless. Underwood: Well, yeah, have you seen this guy? He's the man. Chase: Zack's not gonna stop until he's hit by an eighteen-wheeler. Underwood: Yeah, I mean, a golf cart? What kind of lame last straw? Chase: My best was a two-door sedan. Go big or go home. Foundation: When you describe him as "the man," you mean-- Underwood: He's smart. I mean, he knows what's up. He's like the bravest guy I ever met. Y'know, I could have chickened out the first week, a lot of stuff was happening. Chase: A lot of stuff. Underwood: But then I was like, "who would I even hang out with?" There's a lot of great kids at the school, don't get me wrong. I'm on the football team now, everyone's been amazing. But none of them--I mean, do I want to be like them? They take a bus to school. Chase: Hey, bus is good. I like the bus. Underwood: I guess I'm just kind of trying to be like Milo. I mean, this condition or whatever, whatever else it's done to him, it's turned him into a total boss. You throw anything at him, he can take it. I've always wanted--I mean, I admire him, he's kind of everything I want to be someday. Chase: Yeah. Maybe not with the sweatervest, though. Underwood: Hey, he makes it work. Foundation: Now, you mentioned a "last straw." Hypothetically, what would-- Subject: Guys! Subject emerged from under nearby table. Underwood: You were in here? Chase: Yeah, they let me hide him.  Subject: Zack is the best, you guys.  Underwood: I stand by that. You make the sweatervest work.  Subject: I do.  Foundation: You weren't supposed to reveal yourself without an express signal.  Chase: Milo, go home. Underwood: He's not supposed to be in the room. Subject: Sorry, guys. But real talk, Zack was kidding. He hasn't got a last straw. I should be telling you guys about all the incredible stuff he's done! This one time-- Chase: Hey, you never talk about me.  Subject: That's like all I ever do.  Chase: Nahhhh.  Subject: You guys probably have a whole Melissa file here somewhere.  Foundation: We're getting off-message, so if you could-- Chase: Do you have a Melissa file? Underwood: I bet they've got an Amanda file.  Subject: ZACK.  Foundation: We're running out of time, so-- Subject: Actually, I am! Melissa and I were about to go catch a movie! Zack-- Underwood: I'm in.  Subject: All right! Maybe we'll see those weird pistachio vendors! Chase: Who? Subject: You know, the Doctor Zone cosplayer and the other guy.  Chase: I never know what you're talking about.  Foundation: Pistachios? Subject: I'll be outside. You can come out whenever you're ready, Melissa.  Foundation: Zack, do you have a moment to--

[Transcript ends here. We are informed that the computer being used to access Zachary Underwood unaccountably exploded, setting the room on fire; the last item heard on the recording before it is shut off appears to be Chase shouting, "Milo, you stood right next to it!"

NOTE: Despite our most up-to-date fireproofing measures and an immediate response from the chief of the local fire department, who is the father of Melissa Chase and is known to dispatch a unit in advance under such circumstances, the Swamp City office formerly occupied by FORCES burned to the ground, as several other offices have done during our interviews with current subject. While subject's father caused similar problems during his own testing period, they were readily solved by the application of certain safety measures put into place when he was in high school, which remained consistent until current subject was six years old. We interviewed Martin Murphy in our Danville office to avert any multiplication of Murphy's Law resulting from the placement of two EHML carriers within range of affect; we therefore may attribute any accidents within our Swamp City office during this time to subject's influence.

At present our collective evidence strongly implies that the strength of the EHML condition increases in each successive carrier; of the EHML carriers which FORCES has studied, Milo Danger Murphy is the youngest and least stable. His condition has yet to hit its peak; we advise continued caution. Should this likelihood be rendered incontrovertible, his school district, as well as family and friends of his immediate acquaintance, will be notified accordingly.]

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The Once and Future Fandom

Eventually your favorite fandom will forever be forgotten... except you the Merlin fandom you'll never die out and its kinda concerning.