#the first character i related to in a deeper way ya know??

[groovy-rat-man]

Okay so i've played the Date Everything demo like.. a lot, and I wanted to share my thoughts on the characters ive met so far! Fair warning this is gonna be a long LONG post so be warned.

Also im including pictures of the characters (courtesy of the fandom wiki) and the images are fucking huge.

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Skylar Specs

She works well as a helper and tutorial guide. I really wanna know more about her because she is the personification of the MAIN MECHANIC IN THE GAME so I feel like theres gotta be something deeper, especially with the throwaway "I'm sad inside!" line that I dont think a lot of people have talked about. Also I love all the hearts in her design and how much she loves love <33

Dorian

Aro🤝Ace Solidarity, hell yeah!! But in all seriousness he's one of if not my favorite character I think. I can't wait until I can play the full game so we can be besties <3. Also I like how all the doors have slightly different Dorians. Like the front door has a more serious looking Front Dorian and the tiny door in the kitchen has a Small Dorian standing on a stool and Back Dorian is facing away from you and sounds muffled and if you talk to him during the tutorial he actually mentions that. It's all just really cool!

Phoenicia

She's really fun and I like her personality! I'm not sure if I have much more to say about her tho. Also I didn't know you weren't supposed to leave your phone plugged in over night, I've been doing that for like years. Sorry Phoenicia...

Maggie

Oh hey, that's my aunt's name. I like her whole detective shtick and how she calls you gumshoe I think it's cute.

Betty

I love her. She's big and cozy and sensual and amazing, BUT she looks SO MUCH LIKE ME. I asked my own god damn mother if we looked similar (without telling her the context of the game) and she said yes. I physically cannot look at her without thinking "this is just me if I tried to be sexy." It also makes it weird seeing people thirst for her lol.

Amir

Ohhhh Amir... My darling Amir..... God I love him, I need him, I need him so bad for reals. He makes me so giddy any time he's talking..... (Or maybe I'm just susceptible to pretty men with pretty hair complimenting me.)

Freddy Yeti

I will NOT make a Freddy Fivebears reference, I will NOT! But seriously, I love him too. I don't think it's in a romantic way yet, I'm just a sucker for a big, kind, fun person who loves keeping me fed. I think we could be buddies! (perhaps more, we'll see)

Arma

She's the first character I met that had Skylar's content warning. Let me tell you, as fellow hottie with trauma around fire she is just... relatable. I totally get it, Arma, but at least let me get you some new batteries. Please?

Wilhelmina Work

Willi I am going to be 100% honest with you, you are stressing me the hell out. I do hope she gets back on her feet tho.

THE HANKS!!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

I fucking love these guys! I love their energy!! I love their designs!!! I love how each of their little icons in the user interface is a different hanger!!!! I love how they all shit on Hank #3 that one time!!!!! They are my all-time favorite five-man himbo hivemind!!!!!!

Penelope

I really don't have much to say about her other than I like the googily eyes on her skirt and I really wanna know what went on when she went off with that viking treadmil guy.

Ben-Hwa

They're cool i just.. it's just... Like holy shit, right? I do love having a very sex-positive character like this, it's just wild that we were fucking on Betty at 9 in the god damn morning.

Rebel

I'm gonna be real, it took me way to long to get the "rebel ducky" pun. I really do not know how I feel about this design. I love it, I just kinda wish it was more ducky ya know? I also love how much they hate my ducking guts it's really funny. (I also like to imagine me and Amir doting on eachother in the bathroom mirror and they're just sitting on the edge of the tub yelling at us to shut the duck up, I need to draw that...)

Diana

I saw her when skimming the wiki before playing the game and I really liked her Mad Hatter sorta look (also this is probably a coincidence but Dinah was also the name of Alice's cat). I was NOT prepared for when I first talked to her like holy shit. It makes you wonder what's going on with the player character, she is YOUR diary after all.

Duncan "Dunk" Shuttlecock

I like his silly intro and his fun, cocky, sweet attitude. I also like how he's so dedicated to sports being fun for everybody and not pushing yourself. Can't get over that fuckass outfit tho.

Teddy

God I love him. Not like romantically but I love him so so much. He makes me feel safe. That story he told literally make me cry. I was all snuggled up under my weighted blanket with my laptop and earbuds crying like a bitch. It was like 1-2am when I was playing too, so it really was a bedtime story for me! And speaking of bedtime, of COURSE i moved him to the bed. I hope him and Betty get along. I like to think that they're old friends, I bet he's the little spoon.

Captain Jacques Pierrot

I know I've been saying this a lot but I love this guy. He's tiny and angy and talks funny and has pretty hair. Idk how big he's supposed to be but I've been imagining him being about the size of a medium rat. Also I didn't realize that his name was a play on Jack Sparrow until he said it out loud and it pissed me off when I realized lol. I wanna hold him in the palm of my hand and kiss his little face over and over again while he's all grumpy~~ (should I be saying that on the main blog?)

Dishy

☹ /̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

The Sassy Chap

Holy shit you can fuck the credits. But seriously, I loved the quiz thingy with all the developers even tho it took me like an hour. Sassy loved it too so that was fun!

Dasha

Hhhhholy shit,, big strong kind lady with pretty Slavic accent lift me up high and teach me how flirt...... w o a g..

Daisuke Dishware

I'm gonna be real, it was late at night (both irl and in game) and I thought "screw it, I'm fucking the knives" and I fully expected to get a Big Scary Knifeplay Guy but what I got instead.... He's wonderful. Serious, dedicated, mysterious? so so so beautiful, catches me when I fall. God I adore him, I need more. Daisuke, I am SO SORRY I chipped you on accident even though I'm not entirely sure what that means. Ough,, I also love his hair, it's gorgeous I swear the two most attractive features a man can have is pretty eyes and long beautiful hair.... Also I'm only learning this now but apparently his voice actor is also named Daisuke which is really funny.

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okay that's it you can go now, luv u

[rin-and-jade]

Look Who's Here! : A Starting Guide for Fictives

This guide's specifically made mainly for Fictives, but Introjects are also welcomed to interact with this post!

You're just one step way from officially functioning in this world--so let's get you prepared before that, yeah?

Come on, Click below to start right away.

Introduction & Table of Contents

Here's the rundown that you'll go through step by step:

Identifying your Source

What characteristics you've obtained 2a. How to look for those hints 2b. Concluding the reason 2c. An explanation on Systems

Addressing Source / Pseudo Memories

Acclimating you to the real world 4a. How life works out here 4b. Basic tutorials for day-today living

Searching your Origin type 5a. Understanding Symbolism vs Coping

Two ways of Integration 6a. How to coexist with your Source 6b. How to do Source Separation

General life tips

Welcome to the World!

(WIP, Coming soon!)*

This guide will help you navigate common fictive-related challenges at any stage of your system journey, equipping you with awareness, confidence, and the preparation you need to face them head-on.

Are you not a Fictive? If you're lost, click Here for a redirect to the Alter Guide!

Identifying your Source

A fictive is a term to describe a part or an alter who identifies/relates to a character from any fictional works such as books, movies, tv shows, games, or even OCs, mythological beings and to historical figures--there is lots'a more sources that i didn't mention too.

Fictives are often formed from needs such as seeking the same strength, positivity, ideals, or traits the system felt lacking. Another reason why fictives can form is for personal comfort, or found a sense of connection, or to understand deeper about who they are by mirroring a source.

Lastly, fictives can have varying degrees of awareness. They can be fully knowledgeable of their own source, or feeling confused with their origins.

What Characteristics You've Obtained

If you don't know how ya got here or vaguely grasp what appearance you have inherited, this is where we will go through the process to start mapping in a more detailed, step-by-step to fully understand who you are!

First off, how would you describe your personality in one word? Once you got that down, go deeper on what feels natural about that. This helps you pinpoint what kind of vibe you've got.

Second, how would you interact with the world? Are you passive, social, strict, shy--and how well do you handle stress? What do you like doing the most? It helps you figure out your own strength and weaknesses.

What talking style do you have? Expressive? Chatty? Sparse? Nonverbal? Those are just examples, oh, and, what kinds of words do you use: casual or have your own niche? That'll answer what speaking style expresses you perfectly.

Any morals or values do you hold? Like, Do No Harm, or something. What do you consider right or wrong in your reasoning? It'll uncover what principles you have, and help you grow better.

Can you write down any rough and soft skills you have retained? Write just well? Adjusted with moving your physical body? To troubleshoot any skills you still need to refine, you know.

These 5 main questions will help you give an overall preview of who you are in the long run, it's also best to document any other consistencies that you've found outside of what i've wrote to understand yourself better. (2a)

Despite being a fictive, you can retain any other traits outside of your source since your origin acts to complete your identity and fill in the rest of the gaps. It's best to understand that you're allowed to act outside of your origin, or if you have a different response/thinking compared to the canon. (2b)

This is because a system is based on multiple expressions of identities that shares one body and mind, each and every member compliments to the whole dynamic with their own strengths and perspective.

To shortly brief you, a system consists of three main things:

Internal communication: the interaction between each other through internal dialogue, thoughts, or emotions

Switching and completing others: parts may take on different roles or tasks to get through the daily life

Individual agency: alters maintain their own agency and sense of self despite being in a collective with one mind and body

This will help you navigate the situation easier. If you felt like a stranger amidst the crowd of your system--don't worry, warming up to them would be a great start to ease the awkwardness away! (2c)

Addressing Source / Pseudo-memories

Most of the time, fictives will retain source memories alongside the introjected qualities, but it's also possible for them to have no source memories or only faint glimpses of them.

These memories are different from regular memories, because they’re often fabricated to fill in gaps caused by amnesia or dissociation that blocks the fictive from recalling real experiences. So, while they might not be completely accurate, that doesn’t make pseudo-memories a fake memory since they can still be used to reflect or reprocess things you’ve actually gone through in real life.

It’s also important not to mix them up with real memories. They're fragmented reflections of your experiences, not real things that had happened at the past. So i'd suggest you to be more observant to discern them better if you couldn't differentiate source memories from regular memories.

Acclimating You to the Real World

If you came from a source that’s very different from this world, it might feel pretty shocking at first--reading this will help you adapt better and faster, so i'll try to brief you as simply as i can:

Chronological time First, refresh your memory by checking what time, day, month, and year it is right now.

Home, and it's members Next, take a look at any existing notes or ask other alters about where you live, who you live with (and yes, pets count, they’re family too), and what role or career you currently have in life (like school, work, etc).

Play Spot the Differences If you notice something you don’t recognize at first, chances are it’s something you never learned about from your source memories. That's how you can start telling apart what belongs to this world and get familiar with it! (4a) If you’re not sure how to use something yet, i have wrote a section on how to use the most basic (and most important) items just right below it:

Phones: They are small technological devices that give you access to a lot of functions, like long-range communication (calling and texting), finding information (browsing the internet), and other extra features like ordering food or watching entertainment. These little slim boxes need a battery to run. You can see which charging cable it uses by looking at the hole (or port) on the side or bottom of the phone. Most phones are protected by a code or password before you can access everything, so make sure to memorize it carefully!

Money: people use these to trade for things they need or want like food, clothes, or etc. It’s a currency based on value; you give a certain amount of money, then in return you get the thing you want. There are two types of money--physical and digital. The physical currency are rectangular shaped paper that has numbers and designs on it, they're called bills,, and the smaller, metallic circles are called coins. You'll have to hand them to a register, and any excess you're given back is called a Change. The digital currency exists in your phone, often through an app or a bank, or a card with long serial numbers--that's either a debit/credit card. They have a different method compared to physical money, you'd have to swipe or tap them with a sensor your phone has been equipped with.

Home appliances: These are machines that were installed inside your house, they help you perform tasks such as cooking, preserving ingredients, and cleaning spaces. I'll teach you three kinds of machines you'd often interact with, Microwave: Heats up food fast. Usually, you just put your food inside, close the door, and type/dial how many minutes you want, and press “Start” (Be careful.. the food can get very hot) Refrigerator: Keeps food cold so it doesn’t spoil. You can put milk, meat, vegetables, or anything else that needs to stay fresh inside it. They prevent any potential microbes from growing that would make you sick. Broom: A simple stick with soft bristles at the end. You need to hold it upright and sweep it across the floor to collect dust and dirt into a pile, then scoop it up with a dustpan if you have one. Do put those debris away into a trashcan. If you see a long-tubed machine used for cleaning--that's a vacuum cleaner, and i don't recommend them if you're still struggling to adjust to the real world, so lets keep it simple like this. (4b)

The rest that are not written here should be guided from assistance, learning hands-on with another headmate is the best way to familiarize yourself in this world.

Searching your Origin type

Some fictives can be naturally aware on why they existed, so if you're not sure about where you came from, or why you're alive, finding your type of origin will help you understand the situation more.

For simplicity, i separated it to two main categories:

Symbolism: Symbolism is when your mind uses images, characters, places, or ideas to represent something you went through. It can be literal or abstract. E.g, if you feel like you came from a castle, that might actually symbolize feeling trapped, lonely, or important. Not about truly living in one of them.

Coping: Coping is when your mind creates things to help you survive or deal with hard stuff. Sometimes your identity, story, or memories are created as a way to handle emotions that would have been too overwhelming to directly face them. (5a)

Sometimes, fictives can be a mix of both, or switch between both types (E.g. originally formed for coping, then became a part of self expression, aka, positive symbolism). Remember that these are just descriptions to understand yourself, they are not literal boxes or categories.

Two Ways of Integration

There are no right or wrong ways to integrate, and any source you came from is valid and real. This section will brief you with two different paths of growing with your sense of identity: Source Integration and Source Separation.

One day, the identity you have right now will be limiting your sense of self and expression,, this is when integration can be done--most importantly this should NEVER be forced or done out of pressure, rather it has to come from the need to grow and expand from your current self.

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I'm happy with my Source, how to Coexist?

If you have no issues with your source and facilitates your self expression and wish to keep certain positive traits, appearance, or personality, thats great! Here's three main steps on how you can make your new self based on your original source:

Identify which traits, key appearances, and any other things you truly resonate with

Replace the traits you prefer/resonate less, (E.g. blue hair color) with something you like more personally (make your hair red because you love the color's meaning)

Change your name, if you want to,, and embrace any favorites (like food, music) you have outside of the source--or explore them if you haven't done so

After that, the rest is up to you. BE FREE, RAHH!!! (6a)

--

I wish to Deviate from my Source, how?

If your source had been causing yourself some harm or more confusion, hatred, or enabling bad habits, or just general distaste,, anchoring to something else outside of your current source will ease most of those problems. Here's three main steps on how to separate and grow a newer self that truly aligns with your identity:

Acknowledge that you can be everything else outside of the appearance, personality, or habits you have adopted from your source. This helps weaken the grip on how you should act or be based on the past

Explore what you like and dislike without pressure or expectations, see how you truly feel and act accordingly--not based on your source anymore

Be consistent without needing to pivot your sense of self externally, following your internal compass and intuition instead. This builds a solid sense of self with time and patience

Things will take time to unlearn and replace your habits, it is also a good time to explore who you truly are when your source do not fully depict you well anymore. No need to rush. (6b)

General Life Tips

Seek out and explore, find what you like, what you don't like, what you find comfort in and who you can confide with. This will broaden your experience, deepen your emotional richness in your life, and ensure you can thrive in the long term!

Not all challenges can be overcome alone--actively search for information, ask other people, and go through trial and error. Sometimes being a fictive will give a mismatch from what you've learnt to a world that operates really different, brute force is not the only solution!

Be flexible and open to your identity. No one is forever static or unchanging, new experiences and new things will rewire you and it can't be unseen once done. You'll grow at your own pace so always remind yourself that you're you no matter what, and don't let past labels or boxes dictate how to act or live!

Life may felt jarring at first, but you'll get used to it, this takes time + patience and you'll confidently and comfortably get through the days like a seasoned commoner in earth, remember to have fun and crack jokes too!

And Finally..

Welcome to the World!

You're briefed with everything important that ya should know, you'll feel at home in no time,, the first day's the most memorable don't you think?

If you still got any questions, concerns, or confusion regarding the guide, or how to function and perform daily life tasks,, feel free to write them down here and i'll assist you as fast as i could!

Lastly, you're fully prepared. Now... run like the wind and hope you don't accidentally smash into a glass--or don't run, just chill out for the remainder of the day. They got soft blankets and chocolate drinks,, go enjoy life in your own taste man.

--

* Having trouble on figuring your role and job task after reading this guide? A separate post will be linked here in the future, stay tuned for part two!

- c

[xjulixred45x]

HADES AU: Dead Royalty

This is more than a fixed "character x reader" job, this is a job related to an AU of the Hades video game that I came up with based on the interactions of Hades and Zagreus in the game.

We all know that the relationship between these two is BAD, Hades even having depth and reasons to hide things from his son does not excuse him from being a horrible and abusive father towards him, even if he improved as a person and changed, it came to mind? What if with now extra motivation, years of repressed anger, and perhaps a side effect of the mirror of darkness, Zagreus had... enough?

What if somehow Zagreus had been able to "get rid" of Hades in the Underworld? That way he could visit his mother as much as he wanted without having to step over him, or having Hades reveal his location in his escapes, he would no longer have him making life difficult for him and everyone in Hades' house, so why No?

Obviously things go deeper than that, when eventually Hades's absence ends up affecting the stability of the Underworld, a replacement is needed, and Zagreus is his only heir here, so he does it.

That's why I temporarily call this Au "Dead Royalty AU", although any suggestion is fine.

In general, several of Zagreus' relationships remain intact as they are not related to his rank, such as Skelly, Dusa, Orpheus, Eurydice, his mother (who may or may not return to the underworld to help her son), Nyx, Hypnos, etc. .

while others may see Zagrues differently by seeing what he did and how it affected him, like Thanatos, Meg (these two especially even feeling a little guilty for having contributed in some way to the breakdown that led Zagreus to make this decision) Maybe Achilles? Although I don't think so, some bosses, etc.

Zagreus is still a good guy, a prankster, an animal lover, someone with good intentions in the Underworld who doesn't want to be like his father, but definitely the excessive use of darkness and what it did to his father messed with his head a little. .

He wants to do his tasks and improve the lives of people in the underworld (who deserve it). Although I would say that he is somewhat hardened by everything that happened, he is happy and calm for the first time in a long time.

this Au has a lot of potential on its own and for jobs x reader(fluff, yandere, name it) so suggestions, questions? I read You and respond.

_________

(ESPAÑOL)

esto mas que un trabajo fijo de "personaje x lector" esto es un trabajo relacionado con un AU del videojuego de Hades que se me ocurrio en en base a las interacciones de Hades y Zagreus en el juego.

todos sabemos que la relación entre estos dos es MALA, Hades aun teniendo profundidad y razones para ocultar cosas a su hijo no lo excusa de ser un padre horrible y abusivo hacia el, incluso si mejoro como persona y cambio, me vino a la mente ¿que hubiera pasada si con ahora una motivación extra, los años de ira reprimida, y talvez un efecto secundario del espejo de la oscuridad, Zagreus tenga... suficiente?

¿que pasaria si de alguna forma Zagreus hubiera podida "deshacerse" de Hades en el Inframundo? de esa manera podria visitar a su madre todo lo que quisiera sin tener que pasar sobre el, o que Hades revelara su ubicación en sus huidas, ya no lo tendria haciendole la vida a el y a todos en la casa de Hades difícil, entonces ¿porque no?

obviamente las cosas son mas profundas que eso, cuando eventualmente la ausencia de Hades termina afectando la estabilidad del Inframundo, se necesita un reemplazo, y Zagreus es su unico heredero aqui, asi que lo hace.

por eso llamo de forma temporal este Au "Dead Royalty AU", aunque cualquier sugerencia esta bien.

en general varias de las relaciones de Zagreus se mantienen intactas al no estar relacionadas con su rango, como Skelly, Dusa, Orfeo, Euridice, su madre(que puede o no volver al inframundo a ayudar a su hijo), Nyx, Hypnos, etc.

mientras que otras pueden ver a Zagrues de forma diferente al ver lo que hizo y como lo afecto, como Thanatos, Meg(estos dos especialmente incluso sintiéndose un poco culpables por haber contruibuido de alguna forma al breakdown que llevo a Zagreus a tomar esta decisión), ¿talvez Aquiles? aunque no creo, algunos jefes, etc.

Zagreus sigue siendo un buen chico, bromista, amante de los animales, alguien con buenas intenciones en el Inframundo que no quiere ser como su padre, pero definitivamente el uso excesivo de oscuridad y lo que le hizo a su padre le jodio un poco la cabeza.

el quiere hacer sus tareas y mejorar la vida de las personas en el inframundo(que se lo merezcan). aunque diria que esta algo endurecido por todo lo que paso, esta feliz y tranquilo por primera vez en mucho tiempo.

este Au tiene mucho potencial por su cuenta y para trabajos x lector(fluff, yandere, nombralo) por lo que ¿sugerencias, preguntas? los leo y respondo.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Ask questiooooons!!! I'm on the mood Right now:D so-

[rowanwithaz]

so I think I see a lot of confusion around the whole, "being like the one you love" thing. Like,a lot of people will say that Ochako wanting to save makes her like Izuku,therefore love. But this is terribly incorrect,and I think undermines Ochako as a character.

like,with the whole mask thing,with her mask looking similar to Izuku's,

Now why is it not romantic/love? Well,first of all,Ochako being a hero doesn't hinge on her feelings for Izuku,that's a gross misreading of this I hate oh,so much. And with her being like Izuku,she's being like Izuku as a hero,and only does his positive traits. Why do positive and negative traits matter?

Because in this case she's not being like Izuku. She's being like Deku,a hero. Which makes sense for her character,because she's caring and hero. But she doesn't have that aggression like Izuku,that meanness that comes out of him when he's fighting,because that's not heroic,that's Izuku. That mask isn't symbolism for her romantic feelings for Izuku,it's her want to save that Deku reflects.

(They're also friends,ya guys,and I saw a lot of people talking about how Izuku's mask looks like iida's,so it's more like a little friendship and heroic thing between the three)

We can relate this to how Izuku acts like Katsuki. Not only his positive traits,but his negative ones too. And what about Katsuki? Does he embody any of Izuku's negative traits? Yes. Yes he does. And it's a lot earlier on that we see this. (What they don't name here is: "obsession",but that's a trait that Katsuki seems to develop for Izuku,and we know how Izuku is,but I'll kinda talk about that in a second)

these feelings go both ways. We know that Izuku felt envious of Katsuki's power/quirk,but the more time they spent together,Katsuki grew envious of Izuku's heart. That's just one way to look at it. We can also see that Katsuki becomes more reckless (not just sacrificial,RECKLESS) Izuku is extremely reckless when he wants to win,and when Katsuki starts acting more like Izuku,he becomes more reckless.

(one example because AFO saying, "what wrong with him?" Is the funniest thing ever. He's gay. That's what's wrong,my guy)

so they don't only take each other's positive/good traits,they take the negative ones too. Because they actually act/be like each other. That's the big difference between the way Ochako acts like Izuku. So it's much harder to read what Ochako does as that love language we see throughout the story when she doesn't actually do the whole thing.

And Katsuki's glove looking like Izuku's is much deeper and much more personal than the heroism. It's selfish and obsessive in a sense.

Katsuki wants Izuku by his side so badly that he works eight years to buy that suit for him,that reaching of the hand wasn't just giving Izuku his dream back,it was Katsuki getting his back. Selfishness and obsession is something we see Izuku's character struggle with quite a bit (like not caring about the war when Katsuki dies/gets hurt,that's pretty fucking selfish,and do I even have to name an example of Izuku being obsessive over Katsuki???) so yeah,the scene is beautiful,sweet,and gay,but it also shows some of their "worst" colors and how they be like each other in that sense as well.

They match each other's freak is all I'm saying.

[graceofgondor]

hello!! first off, i love ya. ur mindddd!!! as a member of charginny nation, i thought it only fitting to go to the president of charginny with my query. i was thinking, as one does, when an idea hit me, so i was naturally curious about your opinion; how does charlie/ginny compare to ferris/sloane (ferris bueller's day off)? of course, i love them both soososo much, but i couldn't ignore the similarities between them (slightly tryhard extroverted boy who pulls big stunts x endlessly cool girl of few words). thoughts? xx

hii!! i love you too <33 thank you for the ask i immediately was so intrigued, this is such a good question!!

so to put it simply, i do think you have a point! on the surface, the dynamic is really similar, but i definitely want to talk about it in more detail because i do have my thoughts.

to start off with my main point, as i'm sure you have as well, i've seen quite a few people compare charlie and ferris in the past. which, again, is a valid point, they do have a lot of similar tendencies and hell, they even kind of talk the same. but i still have a bone to pick with it when it comes to the deeper levels and i'll tell you why.

there's something i've learned about ferris over the years in consuming the movie periodically (and also having the infamous revelation that i relate to cameron more than anyone else, which i feel many of us agree upon) but that realization is that despite his charm, he is inherently selfish and a bit ignorant to what's going on with others, specifically in the moment. now, obviously he cares for cameron and sloane, and i think he has some kind of slight arc by the end, because yes, he gains perspective and has the whole college and future reflection. but when it comes to his actions, he tends to assume there won't be consequences, or that he'll simply skate by them. to where, i feel like charlie contrasts here.

if you watch charlie throughout dps, it becomes apparent that despite his external charisma coupled with undying wit and confidence, its actually all a front. and i've obviously discussed this multiple times on this blog, it's like beating a dead horse at this point. but my point here is that charlie does at least 85% of what he does with his friends in mind, with others in mind. he definitely can be careless, hence with the annual incident, but even then he was more than willing to take the fall for everyone else, no matter the cost. and because of mr. keating, because of neil, perhaps even because of ginny herself, charlie quickly comes to learn that carelessness won't get him far, and that boldness and action need to have a purpose in their intent. ergo—to not choke on the bone.

i don't think ferris is aware of this. by the end of the film, its likely he'll still skip class, slack off, he'll still have the confidence that his stunts will work regardless of the effect (not that that's bad, evidently the point of the film is quite opposite of dps at times). so oddly enough, i find that charlie has much more maturity than ferris, not to say that he won't have his moments over time, but i think something about his role as the protector/hero, especially after neil's sudden passing, puts him at a higher level of complexity as a character, and as i said a higher level of maturity as well. i think especially when it comes to things like ginny, charlie ends up having much more of a purpose with what he's doing towards the end/post narrative.

now, to discuss ginny and sloane. these differences are evidently more slight, and obviously a lot is left up to interpretation, given the lack of true narrative for both of them. from what i gather, neither of them have much time for the superficial, they want something real, with substance, from the get go that's obvious either way. and i think that's a small part of why charlie and ferris do it for them, like man, this guy knows how to live. and it seems for the both of them, life was kind of boring before then to begin with, so that person helped them to develop and grow and vice versa.

but it's the same thing where, i don't really think reality has hit sloane yet, at least not as hard as it theoretically did for ginny. while she is committed, i think sloane worries more about the fleeting and fun side of things, i mean, its pretty much all her and ferris seem to do—have fun. she initially scoffs at the idea of marriage, like it's something she can't even think about yet. to where ginny seems more concerned to slow down, to appreciate the mundane, while still obviously relishing in charlie's endeavors. i think she's more practical, she doesn't love charlie because he's amusing, because that would make her like anyone else if that was all she cared for.

to put it simply, sloane is more inclined to join ferris in the rush, while ginny reminds charlie that life doesn't always have to leave him reeling. now, sloane definitely offers ferris perspective, and that's something worth mentioning, but i just think the dynamic is slightly different there. maybe just deeper on one end.

ultimately i think it's what they've been through. aside from preparing for college and watching cameron's situation from the outside, sloane and ferris haven't experienced much hardship yet, things have been fairly smooth sailing for them, despite close calls. all charlie and ginny have known is independence, expectation, and plain suffering. between the rigidness of their respective schools, their parents, pressure, and neil's passing (along with everything attached), they've had to sustain a lot more. and they both relate to each other there. with the two of them meeting so near such a life-altering event, i think that immediately set the scene for them to develop and be so vulnerable a lot quicker, while i honestly think ferris and sloane still have time left for that.

[thisworldisablackhole]

Neuromancer, by William Gibson (1984) - 4/5

2025 re-read reflections:

Neuromancer was the book that kickstarted my reading journey in 2023. I hadn't read a full book for at least a decade before I first picked it up, no joke. I was just too busy being a skateboarding burnout or something. But then I played Cyberpunk 2077 (after the Phantom Liberty DLC dropped, of course), and something stirred inside of me. I adored that game to death, its narrative and world was so enthralling, and I wanted more. I found out that Neuromancer was a big influence on the cyberpunk genre as a whole, and whaddya know, I had a copy that had been collecting dust in my apartment for years! What better excuse to finally kickstart the rusty gears of my brain? ~25 sci-fi novels later and I am back, coming full circle.

My first time reading this wasn't easy. In retrospect, I do not recommend jumping into this book if your last reading experience was some YA novel in grade 8. I was confused as hell, not only because Neuromancer deals with some very cerebral, technological and psychedelic themes, but Gibson's writing was different than anything I had ever experienced. It was dense, harsh, and cold, with plenty of high concept tech inventions — basically the opposite of inviting. Pretty hard to focus on if your brain isn't used to long form literature. The thing is, I didn't realize at the time what Gibson was trying to achieve. Part of the reason I found Neuromancer so difficult at first, is that it doesn't really appeal to emotion. It's a very stoic novel—dark, gritty, serious. Characters are icy, and none of them really speak more than necessary. There are no deep relationships or heart to hearts (apart from the one sided conversation Molly has with Case as she runs through the Villa Straylight). This doesn't mean the characters are badly written, however. They may be emotionally flat, but they are all interesting and distinct in their own way and harbour some subtle complexities that are easy to miss. One of the most surprising parts about my re-read is how much I sympathized with Armitage. I kind of had him pinned as an evil maniac the first time around, and now I realized that he might be the only real victim in the story.

Despite how much more clarity and enjoyment I got out of this on my second read, I still don't think I can give it more than a 4/5. It's an objective classic and it holds a place close to my heart because it ignited a newfound love of reading in me, but my 5’s are reserved for books that leave a deeper, more personal impact on me by making me reevaluate my internal beliefs and biases. There is not much in the way of philosophical struggles or relatable interpersonal dynamics to cling on to here, but that's okay. Neuromancer is a thriller. It's extremely well paced, with a distinct world and narrative identity, and what it lacks in emotional stimuli it makes up for with some absolutely brain melting ideas and trippy tech. It's more about the experience than the lessons, but a little more heart wouldn't have hurt.

[denv2]

doodles (include OC)

I'll talk about the drawings and my life at once below!

First, let's talk about pictures.

1. alex & kitty

The last cut is just blank because I don't know what to draw.

I'm infinitely interested in the past between these two characters and Felix in babitim as Felix's nightmare in the labyrinth... But in the story, Kitty was hugging Alex, apologizing to Felix, right?

But it's a nightmare, so I think it's even worse for Felix, and in reality, even though "it" happened, I wonder if Kitty would have come to her senses and broken up with Alex afterward...

No matter how I look at it, I tend to think that Alex took Kitty away from Felix because of the way the story was written... But I think Alex didn't take it away because he liked her, he took it away because he wanted to bully Felix, so I also think that Alex's interest in her would have turned off quickly. Sorry Alex fans, I like bad guy Alex, at least babitim's Alex is definitely a bad guy.

But I'm not supporting AlexKitty, I'm supporting FelixKitty... Of course, within BABITIM, I support osix! I'm talking about the cartoon version ;)

Anyway, I just wanted to draw Alex laughing his ass off after getting slapped. And the look of disdain on the lady's face... (sorry)

2. rosco & candy

I drew Rosco and Candy again! Last time I only drew their faces, so I wanted to make sure I got their bodies right.

Candy has a similar feeling to the cartoon version, but Roscoe has become a bit thicker according to my taste😋. Well... All au characters are a bit different from the original, so I just rationalized that they are different.

I drew them because I wanted to match the deforme, and I needed something more specific for the story I'm playing with in my head about OC😙

3. OC - Rency doodles (AU ver)

I'm still drawing and playing with Rency! I used to play with OCs, so now that I have another OC after a long time, I keep thinking about it and imagining my own story.

Personally, I keep drawing him because he has a soft cute fluffy atmosphere.. I just want to hug him...😽

But if you ask me what kind of story I'm making, I tend to think about the past, not really related to the main story of babitim. That's why I drew Rosco and Candy in this au deforme! I mainly think about the past in the mid-20s, but Felix doesn't appear because he's already left the city. Of course, there are stories that are related to the main story. I tend to imagine this part in conjunction with my other OC, Conny(rabbit), or even a story after the completion of the main story. So it's divided into three branches.

Anyway... I've drawn a lot of AU versions, so I'm thinking of doing some cartoon versions next!

Rency has become quite different even though the AU and cartoon versions are similar, but I think that's true for all the other characters as well. Especially my cartoon Alex... He's become quite mellow. A bit of a bad guy and a full-fledged villain is what AU Alex is all about, and cartoon Alex has become a bit milder due to mixing tastes. I think it's because I like Alex who can't win against Rency, lol.

I'll tell you all about me now!

Um... I actually went to a computer school for 6 months, I think I'll finish soon and start finalizing my portfolio and going to interviews. I'm applying for a job as a front-end developer...haha.

I recently read Inky! I hope the authors are well rested and back. I think the story is getting deeper and deeper. I want our Bendy, Boris, and all the other characters to be happy, but I wonder how many more trials and tribulations will come before the end...

And I recently played Deltarune, I really really really love it, it was worth the years of waiting, now I'm waiting for chapter 5... My favorite character in chapters 3 and 4 is Tenna, because I like mech characters... For the record, Noelle is my favorite character, followed by SCC! Of course, I also really like Kris and Susie, in fact I like all of them, so I can't pick a favorite.

And... I bought a switch 2. Yay! I'm so excited for Pokémon Legends ZA and Donkey Kong Bananza!

I've been rambling for a while. I'll post another one later when I have more pictures!

[knightinink]

🔥So, Why Dip?☕

Well, I’ll tell ‘ya. Get your blankets & warm drinks, & get ready for a fireside chat with me about why I absolutely, positively, love Dip.

🔥 ☕

Their characters are so interesting to me, because on the surface, they seem like night & day; complete opposites that would never get along with one another. Digging a little deeper into their character, however, reveals that there’s more to them than initially meets the eye.

-Damien Thorn is the angry son of Satan. On the surface, he’s loud, disruptive, & prone to violence. He stands up on tables & desks, throws things & people around with his demonic abilities, & sets things on fire, among many other inferred powers that he inherited from his father.

-Phillip “Pip” Pirrup is an orphaned English boy who came to the little town of South Park from England. On the surface, he’s a very happy-go-lucky kid, always willing to put others before himself, seeming to not have a mean bone in his body (except for maybe during the dodgeball games).

These characters seem like they have nothing in common & would never be seen together, but they go a lot deeper than that, & they are more similar than one might think.

-Damien Thorn is the son of Satan, someone who’s constantly on the move, & thus his son must follow. Because of this, Damien never gets the chance to make & keep friends, resulting in him being a very lonely kid. Someone in Satan’s position has a lot of responsibility; being the ruler of Hell is a very taxing job, & is one that keeps him very busy. When Satan’s not drowning in work, he’s off with his new boyfriend doing who knows what. Between work & his romantic endeavors, Satan has very little time for Damien, resulting in his kid not being payed much attention by the only family member he has, & the only other person he’s really known. Parental involvement is very important for a kid Damien’s age (8yrs), & because he’s not getting it, he acts out to get attention. This has worked for him at home, so he figures it’ll work when he goes to a new school, & behaves in a chaotic manner as mentioned above. He acts this way because he knows that it works to get him the attention he wants (but what he wants is positive attention, & his acting out doesn’t get him that, but at this point he’s desperate & takes what he can get).

-Phillip “Pip” Pirrup was orphaned at a young age, left with only his eldest sister of more than 20yrs to look after him, alongside her husband Joe Gargery. Pip’s sister resents his existence, & makes sure to remind him of this daily, & is verbally, physically, & emotionally abusive towards him. Pip doesn’t seem bothered much by this however, but perhaps maybe he just deals with it by keeping a smile on his face & looking on the bright side of things. Joe is the complete opposite of his wife: none-too bright, but is very caring & emotionally aware, & looks out for Pip whenever he can. Everyone in this little town on the marshes seems to despise Pip as well, (including his short-lived love interest & girlfriend Estella); everyone but Joe, who is a trusted friend to Pip (as well as a father figure for him). Perhaps Joe is why Pip keeps smiling. Throughout the many misfortunes that happen to Pip while living in England, he always keeps his chin up, & he seems to keep this attitude when he comes over to the states. Unfortunately, everyone here despises him as well, or is weirded out by him, as he does not follow “normal” South Park customs at all. He dresses different & talks funny, so he is often resultingly singled-out among his peers & bullied by them (& some of the adults as well!). Learning that he is an orphan only fuels the fire, as he has no parental-figure with him to protect him, thus everyone can pick on him with practically no consequences.

Bottom line, both Pip & Damien are lonely kids who have no friends, no one they can relate to, no stable parental presence, & who seek out attention by acting out or becoming a punching bag.

-When they first meet, Pip tries reaching out to Damien, being a hand he can grab onto being the new kid in town & the new student in class. Pip knows what that’s like & no one ever really came to him to help him feel welcome, so when he has the opportunity to do just that, he takes it. Damien, not really knowing how to interact much with kids his own age, isn’t very friendly towards Pip, but he lets the blond stick around, as he would rather not be alone. Pip gets on his nerves with his cheeriness & optimism, but not enough for the demon to drive him away. This continues on for a few days & they seem to be growing just a little bit closer, but Damien still doesn’t know how to handle any feelings other than anger, so that’s what he barricades himself with. The demon does notice however, that the other boys at school seem a lot more popular than Pip, & his desire to be given attention overrides any other desire he has, resulting in The Dip Firework Incident Of ‘98. The Betrayal.

-As Damien is walking with the other boys to go watch the boxing match between his father & Jesus, the wailing sirens of an ambulance rushing by makes him feel a tightness in his chest, in a way he can’t describe. He doesn’t want to look wimpy in front of his new friends though, so he pushes that feeling down. He doesn’t recognize it nor does he know what it is, but he would later piece together that what he was feeling was regret, remorse, & guilt.

-When Satan wins the match & goes back down to Hell, Damien must go with him & leave all of his new friends. As soon as he left the vicinity however, he could just overhear them saying how they felt bad for him, but he was still some weirdo-freaky kid, & they were relieved someone so dangerous was finally leaving & things could go back to normal. Feeling betrayed himself, those feelings from earlier come back, & he doesn’t know what, but something within him is telling him to go find the little British boy & apologize to him, remembering some faint memory of his father once telling him to “treat others how you would want to be treated”, & all Damien wanted right now was to feel better from the betrayal of the other boys, slowly realizing the blond must be feeling the same way. He deserves an apology, at the very least. (this fic details where their relationship is when Damien goes back down to Hell with his father) (tldr; they’re good, Damien felt bad & apologized & Pip forgave him)

-Fast-forwarding to when Pip gets killed by Mecha Streisand-

-To make things more angsty because I always love that, I think Pip would be sent up to Heaven first, adorned with new wings & a halo, & would be awaiting all day among a huge crowd of people to be checked in at the pearly gates. Once it’s finally his turn, however, he is denied entry, & he is crestfallen; he thought he had always been such a good boy while he was alive, he was sure of it! But they point out his count of murder (Miss Havisham), arson (The Satis House), & worst of all, befriending the son of the devil. Before he can get a word in, they rip his wings & halo away from him & -quite literally- kick him out of Heaven & down into Hell. He lands there, wounded, & Satan is immediately notified of a newly arrived Fallen into Hell, & brings Damien along with him (pt3 of this fic!). 

-While Pip’s on the mend, he & Damien spend a lot of time together, & by the time he’s completely healed, the two have become inseparable.

-They finally, finally have someone who will give them the time of day, & be interested in what they have to say!

-As I’ve talked about here a couple times before, my favorite way to characterize Damien is that he puts up an angry, mean front to protect himself from getting hurt, because deep down inside, he’s a very insecure little kid with no one else like him that he can relate to, & he’s very afraid of what could happen if others were to see this side of him; who he really is. He’s often very unsure of himself, seeing who his father is & all the responsibility he’ll have to take on one day. He’s scared of doing the wrong thing, & ending up alone for his entire life, one way or another. While spending time with Pip though, those angry walls start to break down over time, & they eventually fall completely to Pip only, showing him who the real Damien Thorn is. & Pip accepts him completely. With time, Pip also helps Damien to better understand his emotions, & Damien is eternally grateful to him, feeling the best he ever has about himself.

-Pip would also finally  have someone he feels completely safe with, & isn’t someone who’s going to use him like everyone else had. He didn’t come out from the firework incident unscathed, but after Damien is genuinely remorseful & apologetic, Pip forgives him & Damien helps him heal with that aspect of himself. I feel that Pip also puts walls up to protect himself, but in a different way. Pip’s an emotional kid, always has been. He puts others before himself constantly, & all the torment he goes through strains him. He’s someone who cries when he’s alone, & bottles up his emotions to please others. & he cries a lot. Damien is the first one to see him cry in a long time, & despite not really knowing how to act as a shoulder to cry on, he would do his best to help Pip feel better. Damien also teaches Pip how to stand up for himself, or at the very least, to not just take what others do to him laying down.

-They get to see who the other really is; see them vulnerable, at their best & at their worst. They instill a sense of confidence & self-love in each other. They are the first to understand each other, having someone who just gets you in a way that no one has ever achieved before. They finally have found someone who they can just be themselves around, without fear of judgement or ridicule, & their relationship continues to grow each & every day they spend together.

-Bonus Married-Couple Dip!-

-They are able to have wordless conversations by this point, communicating through looks & actions when it works better than words. One thing I really like to focus on is Pip’s burn scars, & how he & Damien navigate them together.

-Pip has :Good days (where he’ll wear one of Damien’s tank tops) :Okay days (maybe a t-shirt or a long-sleeve) :Bad days (long-sleeve, jacket) :& Very bad days (he’s left crying at his appearance, swaddled up in the biggest most covering coat he has with fancy gloves on & a hat).

I detailed this a lot in this fic of mine, how Damien tries his best to make Pip feel better about himself, as his burn scars are something he still gets very insecure about. Damien will always love him unconditionally, though, & he reminds Pip of this every day.

-End Of The Bonus Content-

& that’s why I love Dip, there’s just so much to them that I love. They’re outcasts who stick together through thick-n-thin, someone who holds the other up when they’re down, & someone who they care so so much about. They’ve found more than friendship between them. 

They’ve found family.

[imaginemyreality03]

🕹️👨‍💻An escape is only an escape if you still live most of your life in reality👨‍💻🕹️

🛑SPOILERS AHEAD🛑

(YES EVEN IF YOU SAW THE MOVIE)

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Read: January 27 -> January 31, 2024

BRA Score: 79/100

Favorite Quote: “No one in the world gets what they want and that’s beautiful.” - Wade, Pg?

~~~~~~~~

Book Gist: Wade is growing up in 2045, with nothing and no one to his name. His saving grace from a life of boredom and loneliness: The Hunt. The creator of the most used product in the world, The OASIS, left behind a challenge when he died 5 years ago that whoever can solve all the clues, pass every challenge, and collect every key will win his Easter Egg, which will make the winner richer than their wildest dreams, and give them full control over the OASIS. Wade isn’t the only one searching, millions of OASIS users have had their hands in the hunt, but the most dangerous is by far the Sixers of IOI, the quickly-monopolizing second tech company that will corrupt and destroy the sanctuary that Halliday built in the OASIS to turn it into another capitalist endeavor. Wade is trying to win it before IOI can, but if he is so poor he can’t even leave his school’s planet, how is supposed to solve anything?

Tags: SciFi, YA, Virtual Reality, Violence, Future-set

~~~~~~~~

Overall Review:

Pre-read:

The movie is by far one of my most favorite films of all time. I can pick it up at any point and immediately start quoting word for word. It’s my comfort film.

That being said, this read was highly anticipated, and I have not circled back yet to read Ready Player Two (though it’s on my list for next month because I am very excited that the sequel film was green lit).

Plot:

And, I think because I’ve lived the movie for years, I wasn’t made about how different the book was, BECAUSE my source material was the film, knowing the film was adapting the novel. I wasn’t attached one way or another on seeing parts of the book in the film. And because I have a mind for film, and how adaptions work, I could recognize why such significant parts of the story had to be changed, like the fact that there are 6 challenges (one per key and one per gate), or Daito and Sho being related, or iROK’s entire character (he drove me crazy tbh). To bring that to film would be such a struggle, because it’s so well layered and incorporated in the novel, with the pace and the plot structure, keeping that would not be plausible for a film timeframe and a bit too busy for the attention span of a film viewer.

Worldbuilding:

What I also really loved about the book was the detail! It was all so intricate and so reference heavy. It goes so much deeper in the book than it ever went in the film, and I love that. Because I’m the kind of person who can identify a detail as it is presented that’s meant to be hidden only to be very important later on, this book had me on the edge of my seat, I had no clue what would matter and what wouldn’t, which is exactly the reason why Halliday’s Hunt was so hard in the first place, so I really felt right in the middle of it all.

Romantic Sub-Plot:

Wade and Samantha’s relationship was a lot less interesting and a lot less necessary in the book, I felt. I didn’t really feel their chemistry much. I think their friendship only culminating in a relationship post-egg (or even moments before the final battle) would have been a lot better, especially if they had previously acknowledged that they had feelings for each other, but it didn’t feel right to explore that side of their relationship yet.

Wade:

Also!!!! Dude, Wade is so much fucking smarter than the film makes him!! He freaking infiltrates IOI (which is so much more awful in the book) and takes them all down from the inside and then freaking escapes!! Sam was legit just allowed anywhere she wanted and then walked out in the movie. He is a literal genius.

Cast:

Losing Daito IRL really made the stakes more intense than in the film, even with the stacks blowing up and the car chase. I was really sad for a while with that one, especially for Sho.

[eco-lite]

Hello and welcome to my unedited notes while reading volume 1 of Jeweler Richard:

“The Pink Sapphire of Justice”

* Nakata Seigi, king amongst unreliable narrators. Your attraction to Richard is very clear, my guy.

* Not Richard falling asleep on the train next to Seigi. You barely know this man! Couldn’t be me, but it really establishes Richard’s feelings about Seigi quite early on. Or he’s just a fucking weirdo. (It’s both.)

* Flowers mentioned by name at the mansion in Kobe—pansies (romantic love and platonic affection), pale pink roses (grace, joy, happiness), cherry tree (unclear if it’s blossoming; renewal, rebirth, new beginnings). Also mentioned—“some blue flowers whose name I didn’t know, red flowers with round petals, and some sort of white double flowers” (38).

* Padparadscha meaning—joy, vital energy, foresight.

* I love all the ways Tsujimura entwines fate/coincidence into the narrative. Seigi just happening to be in the right place at the right time to save Richard from the drunks, Richard just happening to already have connections to the Miyashita family, the padparadscha just happening to be mined in the same town that Richard’s grandmother grew up in. “‘It’s honestly fascinating—a stone mines in Sri Lanka and cut in Europe ultimately lands in faraway Japan. To borrow a turn of phrase from you, perhaps the universe is trying to tell us something’” (48). Simply ineffable. 😉

* Even just the first story establishes Seigi and Richard’s personalities and mannerisms so well, and establishes their relationship dynamic so quickly. This is what character writing should be!

“The Ruby of Truth”

* Hmmm fascinating difference in Seigi’s immediate sparkly cutesy crush on Tanimoto and his reluctant, suppressed attraction to Richard. He talks to Richard and Tanimoto about the same thing, yet Seigi is much more mentally open to the idea of loving Tanimoto. That’s heteronormativity for ya!

* Speaking of heteronormativity, holy shit! I forgot this was the story with the lesbian couple broken up by one of them wanting so desperately to be “normal” that she disappears from her partner’s life and tries to force herself to marry a man. Then tries to kill herself when she can’t bring herself to go through with it. The fucking subtly of the setup is absolutely brilliant. But Mami’s story is so heartbreaking. “‘Do any of your friends live with their same-sex partner? Probably not, right? I’m not even talking about discrimination or harassment but the constant exhaustion of knowing you’re not “normal.” It’s like trying to grow vegetables in the middle of the desert. I always wondered why I had to go through all this hardship that other people didn’t…’” (119). Ouchie.

* “‘…I find a world with a variety of diverse units of measurement much more comfortable, beautiful, and rich for it.’ Mami giggled, like she understood something” (122-123). THE GAYS HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER AND THEY ARE COMMUNICATING.

* “She was a pretty impressive person to be able to ignore that face of his” (123). Sweetie, that’s because she’s not attracted to men, and YOU ARE!

* Richard giving Mami the gemstone ID on the house: mlm/wlw solidarity.

* Seigi is a very good ally for not even having thought about the existence of gay people before. It’s almost like he can relate on some kind of deeper level that not even he can understand… 👀

* Richard is fucking insane for sending Seigi that text, holy shit. Like I certainly understand why he feels that way, but that was so unprofessional. I know it’s painful when somebody you have unrequited feelings for gets your hopes up (not to mention his issues around compliments about his appearance), but damn, keep that shit to yourself!

“The Amethyst of Protection”

* Seigi: “‘If I’m being honest, your face is so beautiful it’s not even human—I wouldn’t compare your beauty to nice weather but rather to diamond dust or an aurora.’” Also Seigi: “I didn’t think I’d really said anything that outlandish…” (150) FUCK OFF! Richard literally had to go punch a pillow after that.

* Wow, this is the power of heteronormativity! Everybody Seigi tells about Richard is like, oh so you’re attracted to your boss. And Seigi is like NO I just think he’s the most beautiful human being I’ve ever seen! 😤 Right…

* Seigi’s argument that love and beauty aren’t the same thing is interesting. I totally agree that you can love things because they’re beautiful and think things are beautiful because you love them. That’s exactly why love and beauty are so intertwined. For me, when I love someone, the more beautiful they are to me. I think that’s how Seigi thinks of Tanimoto. So does Seigi love Richard because he’s beautiful, then?

* “My feelings for Tanimoto were wholly unique. I couldn’t compare them to my feelings for anyone or anything else” (160). That’s fucking funny, since that’s exactly what the narrative is doing with your feelings for her.

“The Diamond of Memory”

* “‘… Maybe beautiful things can make us happiest when we can just innocently call them beautiful without having to think about numbers’” (208). Yes, Seigi, I think you’re going to find that applies to people as well. It’s fascinating how Seigi can say such philosophically astute things sometimes but never apply them to his own life.

* Ahh, mistaken as a couple. My favorite trope. Richard blushing and getting impatient—so cute. “‘Congradulations on the Shibuya ordinance’” (215) hehsjdkdls. God damn, the jewelry department scene is so infuriating but so delicious. Seigi’s innocent ignorance truly knows no bounds. “‘If you ever go back to that department again, make sure you tell them that the wedding’s off’” (218) RICHARD. 😭😭😭 And then Seigi thinks “It’d be nice to bump into Tanimoto somewhere on a day like this” (218) FUCK YOU!

* It’s not even that Seigi has a hard time recognizing social cues. He recognizes them and then straightforwardly blunders right on past. 🤦🏽‍♀️

* Not Seigi calling Tanimoto a “space case.” You have no room to talk, mister!

* Richard really got back at him, though. Well played…

“To Wish Upon a Rose Quartz”

* Seigi couldn’t possibly put his foot in his mouth any less. Fucking wild.

* I love this little scene, though. It’s nice to see them just chatting, and a bit more of Richard’s humor coming out. Great end to the volume!

[wiltking]

im the mm rec anon and I'm so happy you and your friend enjoyed Madison square murders!!!!!!!!! That book rlly had me kicking my feet and giggling bruv, Doyle and Larkin's relationship is one of my favs of all time!!! So much quiet care and concern... Mwah .... Also I agree Abt Noah but tbh he's fun to dislike in a petty way ahah... Anyway thank you so much for checking out MSM and hopefully the other books r just as good :^)

Also another mm rec for ya is the wolf at the door by Charlie adhara, a human and a werewolf dude who have to work together in the BSI (like the FBI but for werewolf related crimes) I'm not a huge werewolf girly, but I like how the world is fleshed out and the characters r compelling! (the LI lacks deeper characterization in the first book imo, but I know he gets more in the later books)

oh trust i was kicking my feet too, that dynamic had me in a chokehold. jotting down the other rec too because i am a werewolf lover but havent read many werewolf books for some twisted reason. thanks for the heads up about the LI!

[rigginsstreet]

I saw your tags on that poll and would love to hear more about why you think Leyton are a better match than Brucas—I’m in the apparent majority who totally agrees with you! Leyton is one of my forever OTPs :)

brooke and lucas were just a horrible couple lmao like the entire time they first got together it was plagued by brookes jealousy of lucas and peytons relationship and how easily they could bond over things (even when peyton was not an easy person to get a long with they still had enough in common that they could manage ya know?). and brookes insecurities were always getting in the way. its why she had to keep a friends with benefits thing going at the beginning of season 3, its why shit rattled so easily by the end of the season 3. peyton, whether inadvertently or not, was always in the way of them. she was always the cloud hanging over that relationship so why people think brooke and lucas is the move is beyond me.

lucas and peyton never had that issue. when they were in a relationship they were all about each other and no one else. lucas' eyes were always straying (back to peyton) with every gf but when he was actually dating peyton? all his focus was on her she did not have to worry one time about him going off with someone else.

their personalities are just better matched, they vibe well together, they understand each other and can relate to each other in ways the other characters cant. they just have that deeper soul connection. they dont have these problems when theyre together like yes theyve gotten into fights and had their rough patches but they knew how to communicate with each other and fix their shit whereas brooke and lucas were completely lacking in communication skills. and like maybe you can blame that on them being teenagers but again... peyton and lucas also dated in high school and learned how to communicate their problems and needs and work through things. so. when youre with the right person these things just work out i dont know but leyton was clearly the superior ship to me brooke and lucas is... baffling

[upatree-create]

Book Review: You’d Be Home Now by Kathleen Glasgow

A Raw, Poignant Look at Addiction, Family, and Finding Your Voice

Trigger Warning: This book contains themes of addiction. Reader discretion is advised.

When I picked up You’d Be Home Now by Kathleen Glasgow, I didn’t know exactly what I was walking into. I expected a compelling contemporary YA novel—but what I got was something far deeper: a raw, beautiful, and necessary story about addiction, identity, and the emotional toll on families trying to hold themselves together.

This book doesn’t just explore addiction—it explores the collateral damage it leaves behind. That alone makes it an important read. Glasgow highlights the pain of the individual suffering, but also the invisible weight carried by the people who love them.

Meet Emory: A Teen Caught in the Crossfire

The protagonist, Emory (Emmy), is one of the most relatable teen characters I’ve read in a while. She’s quiet, observant, and deeply emotional—often feeling like she’s on the edge of her own life. Overshadowed by her “perfect” older sister and her troubled brother Joey, Emmy longs to be truly seen, not just managed.

Her brother’s addiction, intensified after a tragic car crash, sends shockwaves through the family. As Joey enters rehab, Emmy is left behind to navigate the guilt, silence, and judgment that addiction brings—not just from strangers, but from people closest to her.

What struck me most was Emmy’s sense of responsibility. She wants so badly to fix things, to protect Joey, to hold her family together—but over time, she begins to understand: Joey’s recovery isn’t hers to carry. That shift becomes the emotional core of the book, and it’s handled with care and honesty.

A Story of Growth (and a Few Detours)

There were moments in the story—particularly in Emmy’s English class with Mr. Watson—where I found myself confused. A subplot about students challenging the school reading list felt like a strange tangent at first. But as the story unfolded, I started to see its deeper meaning.

The classroom rebellion becomes symbolic. It’s about standing up, having a voice, and demanding more. Emmy isn’t there yet—but she’s watching, learning. Eventually, she finds her own way to speak up—not through protest, but through honesty. It’s subtle, but it works.

Glasgow uses these narrative detours to reflect Emmy’s internal journey, and while they’re not always easy to follow, they deepen the emotional resonance of the story.

Prepare to Cry—In the Best Way

This book broke me. There’s a moment near the end (no spoilers!) that left me in actual tears. Not because it’s manipulative or over-dramatic, but because it’s real. Painful, raw, and true.

Glasgow shows us that addiction is never neat or easily resolved. It loops, falters, and drags entire families with it. But she also shows us that healing is possible—not through perfection, but through presence, boundaries, and love.

The Final Note

The book closes with a letter from Emmy to her teacher, and it’s one of the most powerful moments in the story. She acknowledges that while school matters, so does life. Joey matters. She matters. It’s a small act, but it speaks volumes.

Emmy’s growth isn’t flashy. It’s quiet. Earned. Honest. And for readers who have ever felt unseen, unheard, or overwhelmed by someone else’s pain, it hits hard.

Final Thoughts:

You’d Be Home Now is not an easy read—but it’s an essential one. Kathleen Glasgow doesn’t sugarcoat anything. Instead, she offers a brutally honest, emotionally resonant story about addiction, identity, and finding the courage to choose yourself without abandoning the people you love.

If you’ve ever struggled with addiction—your own or someone else’s—this book might hurt. But it might also help. And for that, I think it’s worth every page.

Rating: 4.5/5

Recommended for: Fans of contemporary YA, emotional family dramas, and anyone who wants to feel seen.

Resources (UK):

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, please know that help is available. You are not alone.

Talk to Frank

Narcotics Anonymous UK

Al-Anon UK

https://al-anonuk.org.uk

If you’re outside the UK, please search for local support services in your area.

[gunsli-01]

QUICK! NAME A HABIT YOU PICKED UP FROM UR BLORBO

I was tagged @ludwigoat909 for this

Surprisingly, I've only picked up one habit that stuck from a piece of media and that's saying "Seriously." instead of "Really." due to Gravity Falls. Something that can be attributed to like all of the Pines family and ever character in that really.

If I'm going Milgram related- Lol, does remembering to mind your business from Futa count as a habit or a lesson. Because in all honesty Futa has taught me not to care about the things people present themselves as caring about online as much. Can't always extend the benefit of the doubt and work under the assumption that everyone cares about something as much as you do.

I had a lot of habits similar to Mikoto's before getting into Milgram which is what made it so easy for me to just ignore him at first. So even though I like him a lot I haven't picked up anything from him at all. Oh there is one thing I did pick up from Kazui and that's committing to the bit and or lying because no one is owed your honesty especially if they consistently or theoretically could weaponize it against you.

Or are just presenting themselves in a way that makes it readily apparent they would be hostile or uncompromising in the face of your truth. Sometimes you can let people die never having to know the truth and your life will be far simpler for it. Even then it's kind of like well I've always known the benefits of lying and he has made me do it more so it's just another of those nice reminders that pops up when I'm giving more of myself than I necessarily should.

For example,

Me: Well, I feel-

Kazui: *shaking his head* Does this person really need to know your feelings? Do you plan on seeing them after this interaction? Are you looking for something deeper? Do you want to know this person or just have them know you?

Me: Ah, ya know what I got better things to do this make myself vulnerable and open to people who mean no good. I'm gonna go talk about this with people I trust who appreciate me- Goodbye.

That's basically been my experience with every milgram character. Someone ignoring and or ghosting me,

Mu: Well, you'll only be ignoring yourself further by giving them the attention and worry. Do right by yourself give the attention to you that you deserve. Because the only thing spending energy cursing their life will do is waste yours. Trust me I'm jail over that shit.

Something unfair happens,

Me: That's not right.

Kotoko & Amane: And it's not gonna become anymore right by you joining in and doing wrong.

Intense feelings that I've somehow convinced myself are another person's responsibility when they can't control how I feel anymore than I can,

Mahiru: Having a feeling isn't wrong until you make other people responsible for that feeling. Don't let your feelings get out control calm it down.

Shidou: She's righ-

Me: You get the fuck out here! Don't you have a patient to go wrongly kill? Leave! I don't need advice from you.

Shidou: ...

Doing something that isn't enriching or yielding the results I wanted,

Shidou: It's important to know when to stop. You can't keep pushing things just because you can envision what it would be like if you succeeded. Don't make your own carot and stick.

People make up rumors about me,

Mikoto: You should kill them it would only be fair... But in a twisted way the only way this person can feel enjoyment is by discussing you. I wish my apartment was as rent free as the space you're taking up in their head. Looking at it that way killing them would be generous just let 'em keep living like that. It's probably killing them inside anyway.

Don't want to reflect on myself or circumstances,

Mikoto: *stressfully motioning towards himself*

Yuno: *knowing and pitying stare*

Kazui: *nodding in agreement*

Me: You didn't have to agree I get it I'll do self the reflection.

Kazui: You don't want to lie until everyone believes in the trick even you?

Hating the conditional, controlling and downright contractual state of relationships in this day and age along with people who partake in them including myself because no one can exist fully alone,

Yuno: That's not a normal way to feel and you shouldn't feel that way constantly whoever it is cut them. Cut the cord on that snap it really.

Call that my very own personal hyperfixation cbt.

There's been so many times I've just looked up and thought what would x milgram character do then suddenly the issue becomes a lot smaller than it previously felt. In fact the issue sometimes ceases to exist because some of the ways I know these characters would react are so extreme I just don't feel there's real problem after thinking about how they'd respond. So I just go do anything else with my time other than worry about shit outside of my or sometimes anyone's control.

I guess I picked up getting shoes without laces from Futa and Mikoto (John). Also got back on my boot obsession from high school. Boots from Double where are you?

Needing shoes-

Boots from Double: I totally exist trust me I'm an honest pair of real shoes. They could find the boxers along with Futa and Haruka's shoes. They're just not trying hard enough. Find me- You have to be the one to do it. You're so close.

Me: (with no ability to do that each time I remember these damn things exist as though just to mock me) That’s why I want this to end-

The shoe thing was simply because I didn't know that shit existed. Secondarily I wasn't confident enough to commit. Seeing them wearing them was like oh shit representation of wearing shoes without laces over the age of five I didn't know how much I needed. Because I sometimes I can't tie laces worth a damn. So the representation of Mikoto (John) being fucking incapable of doing so was even more helpful.

Because it was like yeah I don't have to feel like a complete failure of an adult now. I also picked up overdramatically saying,

"Now I see, this world is cruel and merciless."

At every minor inconvenience as a bit.

Shidou's songs are actually some of my favorites because the voice actor goes hard for no reason and Throw Down grew on me when I was dog and house sitting for my sister. Because I just deep cleaned her place to it on loop. I was in their on some shit while cleaning I was in that room like he's right ethics are a delusion keeps sweeping.

Me to Shidou "Fuck you." me to Shidou singing, "Yeah, fuck it up homie that's my man right there- That's my guy he never misses get Shidou back on the track. Get on the mic harder, yeah!"

I could talk shit about his character and actions until the sun comes up and goes down again. I could do that shit for a week straight for personal and objective reasons. But if someone put Throw Down and Triage on in a locked room I would yell for them to turn it up. It was to the point where when the figure spoke at the end of trial report I was like off voice alone on sound that's Shidou.

That voice actor is fucking it up. I think it'd be funny if he did die over the intermission but I truly do need to hear that trial three.

So those are the only things I've really picked up.

I'm gonna tag @not-too-many-eyes you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I just thought you'd find this funny.

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

The Winner Of The Adorkable Apple Goober King Poll Is…

[Note: If Ya Haven't Watched Cuphead Show, and the Full Season 1 of Hazbin Hotel as well as Steven Universe, watch them first before reading this that also says who won on the poll...cause I will be talking about some stuff that happens in the Cuphead Show and Hazbin Hotel. also will talk a bit about Cain and Abel as well, and Adam & Eve's Bad Parenting....if Other Earth Angels ain't gonna point that out that those two were kind of bad parents, even if they were a bit Gray-Parents....then it might as well be me. also some parts may also talk about some feelings and some emotional stuff, not just about me but also about some of the characters. also reading this post is Optional. but this post will be for Mature Audiences Only. also will have some censored language even if it isn't all that many...but this will still talk about who won in The Adorkable Apple Goober King Poll.]

first I will say how many votes there were, about 34 votes as the final results.

Devil from The Cuphead Show got about 8.8%

Devil from The Cuphead Game got around 5.9%, and while the "9" is

a bit higher he still didn't get as many votes as his show counterpart…so yeah, tough luck there "Grandpa"…maybe next time.

so yeah, The Devil from the Cuphead Show has higher votes than Devil from The Game.

and finally Charlie's Dad Lucifer Morningstar from Hazbin Hotel, got around 85.3% and ya know what that means.

Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel wins The "Which One Is The Number 1 Adorkable Apple Goober King Of Them All…?" poll.

I am surprised by the fact that Lucifer, Charlie's Dad...

got such a higher count of votes, I mean I know that I had talked about if I was able to vote, and well I think I did try to press one of the choices that happen to be Lucifer, but I'm not sure if it works that way, for all I know ya can't vote on your own poll.

but I am surprised that he won, he truly is The Number 1 Adorkable Apple Goober King...

him teasing Adam about how he seem to make Lilith and Eve a bit happier, though him admitting that he had intimate relations with Eve, does not help clear his innocence that has to do with Cain.

I mean still gonna have to Jerry Springer that in our universe.

Lucifer, you clueless adorkable apple goober, you are only giving fans more reason to suspect that you are the Bio-Dad of Cain from your universe.

also I still believe the Cain from our universe, isn't the only one at fault for what happen. because both brothers: Cain & Abel were at fault.

Abel was probably too vainglory to see that Cain was hurting and at any moment, any wrong word or even misinterpreted suggestion would send him over the edge.

Adam and Eve should of done better, if they had stop to think that Cain need some kind of kind words and emotional support, he wouldn't of sank deeper into a very dangerous emotional, spiritual and possibly physiological depression.

plus Cain was NOT the first to take a life, just because a animal that can't speak the same way as humans do can't testify against Abel for what he used them for, doesn't mean they aren't still alive.

yeah animals still play a part of the life cycle, some end up being used as food to feed families and some used for clothes, and some who we form a special emotional bond with that can end up becoming so deep if anything bad were to happen to them...

one could freeze the 5th Heaven and 5th Ring Of Hell if the fluffy-baby was taken away too soon...

which once again, when my second cat was going through a certain situation...I'm glad that I was listen to about having them be taken to the vet right away instead of just waiting, because if I wasn't listen to about the suggestion of taking them to the vet right away, it would probably end up me being a crying mess like I was with my first cat.

I mean when my first cat died, well was slowly dying...

I think I was getting over being sick, from throwing up and stuff....

this was before the whole Covid-19 thing...

I think if I remember right, it might of been around 2018 when my first cat died, but I will have to ask about it.

I know I had two depressions before those events, which thanks to finding some song I wrote that expressed how I felt when that second depression first started, I think it was around 2016.

which is still a bit too close from that first one that happen around 2015 that was caused by some stuff happening at home.

not being able to get proper privacy and personal space, had pretty much sucked...I mean I was trying to work on fan fics and I think some drawings too, but they just kept fragging barging into that room like they owned the place.

and yeah, even when I showed a displeased look on my face, my so called much older cousin has to be a freaking jerk and get on to me for making a certain look, while in that said room that he and others so rudely came in there without my permission and invade my personal space....and after he got on to me for the look I was making, I had to go to the bathroom to cry and let it all out.

I mean seriously, I wanted to be left alone for my personal space so I can work on my fan fics and maybe at times some drawings.

it didn't help that they kept coming in that room all the time, where they could just stay in the living room.

why the frag couldn't just stop doing that, and let me have some personal space, I hated it, I really REALLY hated the fact they couldn't just stop that and let me have that space to be alone when I needed it.

I mean when I feel ready to, I can talk to others and be a bit social.

but what they were doing was disrespectful to my space, and anyone who had their space not respected when they needed it, would probably understand.

and it didn't help some other stuff was going on as well, which ended up having us move to the house we currently live in now.

I lost a lot of weight during that first depression I had during 2015, I wouldn't eat much of anything, and well I think I still tried to do the same stuff I did before, but I still felt not good.

I think I can relate to Charlie's Dad a bit, since he clearly had a depression, and for all we know, he might still feel it sometimes.

like having days when he feels really down...

and I suspect he may have had a second depression as well.

his first depression happening after those in Heaven had banished him to the place that would be known as Hell...

the second depression may have happen when Lilith left him.

I think Charlie may have misinterpret her Dad, and Lilith may have lied to her as well....at least our Lilith has a excuse as to why she became the way she is....because of Adam and Three Angels who were so Toxic-Masculine and insensitive, they couldn't give her some freaking space to heal both emotionally and spiritually.

but what do you except from a bunch of Toxic-Masculine, Insensitive Angel-Boy Jerks....and even if one of them turned out to be a Girl, she would still be full of Toxic-Masculine as well and would still be a insensitive jerk.

we should still be lucky the Toxic-Feminine isn't as high as it's Masculine Counterpart....but it doesn't mean that both are still a problem, it's just the Toxic-Masculine one is a higher problem because without the proper fixing of it, it had become dangerous.

and yeah, I guess I may have a beef with those Three Angels who were so grossly insensitive and couldn't get it through their Toxic-Masculine selves, that trying to threaten Lilith like that, was only going to cause more damage and harm more than good.

I can't be the only one who has realized this, I mean I know I'm a Defective Earth Angel, well "Defective Earth Angel Princess" but there has to be Other Earth Angels, some who might be guys and not just gals....who have open their eyes to the truth about how messed up that is.

but those who haven't viewed messed up that is, and might still think that Adam and those Three Angels were doing a "good thing" by hurting Lilith pass a breaking point.

I can't really force them to change their minds, they will need to see the truth of their own accord.

and yeah, besides King David being a terrible Dad to Tamar, even if it does turn out he had his moments when he was a good parent.

which him being both a bad and good parent, would put him in the Gray-Parenting, and there can be different levels of it...

but he isn't the only one who ended up making poor choices.

Noah did as well, who basically scapegoated his own Grandson for something his own son did.

I get some might not fully understand how mess up that is, and yeah I get that both Noah and King David are my and some others own Ancestor-Grandpa...

but it doesn't mean they are fully perfect, and even if some parents and grandparents who aren't perfect but it's okay if they aren't...

but there can be a line that can be crossed, and Grandpa Noah and Grandpa King David have crossed those lines.

placing a curse on your own grandson, which takes the blame that the son who is the father of the grandson, and placing it fully on the grandson.

or the fact that just because ya have a favorite son, and you don't want to punish him....don't mean you just leave it alone.

I mean seriously, at least Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel ended up going to where the fight was happening at the hotel and saved his daughter.

even if the situations are different, plus if Lucifer did turn out to be Cain from that universe's own Bio-Dad.

the whole Lucifer Vs Adam would kind of be like a Peepaw Fight.

if some who are also a descendant of Cain as well, you would get the humor in that, as well as the whole whoever is Cain's Bio-Dad is....

we would still have to Jerry Springer that whole Who Cain's Bio-Father Is.

anyway, I think Charlie may misunderstanding her Dad, about how he only calls when he wants her do something and the whole not really wanting to be a part of her life very much.

I mean it's good that their bond had got better and Charlie was able to learn a bit more from her Dad during that song they sang together.

but Charlie would have to learn, that when ya been hurt, like badly emotionally hurt. sometimes you need to be alone, even if you end up doing stuff that you enjoy that still brings you a bit of happiness.

it doesn't mean the hurt isn't still there.

and if my theory is right, that Lucifer did end up having a second depression that may have to do with his divorce with Lilith.

would possibly end up hurting way more than what Sera and the Other Angels did to him.

plus ya can't expect those who have been hurt to just pick themself up right away or be as happy as they once were.

even if they can try to act that way to hide the bad feelings, that may turn up every once in a while.

I'm pretty sure I'm a type of Introvert, there could be different forms of being a Introvert. like how your okay with going outside and having fun at times but at some point, some stuff causes you not want to go out very much...maybe some would understand that.

plus those who are not introverts can't just make a introvert go out against their will, even if it is to a party, if someone who introvert wants to do it, it should be their choice, and not because someone either it be a friend or family or for some a co-worker made them.

and I think it could be possible maybe, Charlie's Dad is a bit of a Introvert, but I'm not 100% sure.

if he is, he likely became that way over time...

even those who weren't introverts before, may become that way at some point for different reasons I think.

we wont know how badly Lucifer ended up hurting because of what Sera and the Others in Heaven in the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss Universe did to him, as well as Lilith did as well.

Lilith from Hazbin Hotel, likely sees herself better than any man, but that could be true in some cases when ya can be better than some toxic-man and toxic-woman.

but Lilith from that universe, could be a two-faced b*tch.

the book that Charlie reads in Episode 1, may have half-truths and half-lies in it.

the parts with Lucifer, her Dad. is one of the truths.

I think it could be possible that both Lilith and Eve are my Ancestresses, and for all we know there is more to the story that happen during those times.

and I'm still going to view that the reason why Peepaw Adam from our Universe was so full of himself, and being partly the caused of Lilith from our Universe not being able to heal properly and not getting the space she needed.

may have to do with the annunaki gene.

it is possible there was a True First Adam and Eve, it just wasn't the ones we thought.

the True Adam & Eve, could be known as The True Patriarch and Matriarch of Humanity.

which would mean they would be The Ancestors of Adam, Lilith and Eve.

The Homo-Erectus came BEFORE Homo-Sapiens, so Adam, Lilith and Eve were Homo-Sapiens that would be possibly the first of the generations of the hybrids that had to do with The Annunaki & Homo-Erectus Genes being mixed together.

I can still believe Heavenly Father/God and Earthly Mother/Goddess had played a part in us being here, it is just I also believe that it could be possible that there were other humans besides Adam, Eve and Lilith.

and as weird as it might be, I believe the books that is like "Stones Of The Goddess: Crystals for the Divine Feminine" by Nicholas Pearson.

and the books by Timothy Wyllie and one of the books is called "Confessions Of A Rebel Angel: The Wisdom Of The Watchers And The Destiny Of Planet Earth" may play a part of a very big puzzle.

that it could be possible that those books by Nicholas Pearson and Timothy Wyllie hold truth in them and play a part to a even larger puzzle.

but it is a puzzle that not everyone will willing accept, and even if they did end up willing to believe and accept it, they will have to do so by their choice and free will.

(if ya want to skips some of these parts, keep a eye out for the bold words...ya know just in case some might want to skip some...)

and yeah it can suck when some Toxic-Religious people cross a line with their whole self-righteous bull slag.

even though I did get better from that whole incident that happen before with that Toxic-Religious jerk, who not only had a problem with me believing in a Goddess now, but may have also had a problem with me being Nonbinary, which once again during my still figuring out about it, I thought I was Gyno-Agender.

but I think I was still figuring it out and it could be possibly my going through a type of Chrysalis stage plays a part of that discovery.

so I'm a Earth Angel Princess who is a Nonbinary-Gal who's pronouns are She/Her & They/Them, or in other words She/They.

but anyway, even if I did get better from what Toxic-Religious Jerk did, when they couldn't stop throwing those misused words at me, thinking they were "saving me", what they did was not okay and caused some form of Toxic-Religious Trauma.

and I know I wont ever truly be fully okay with what happen.

and no matter how much I cried and showed signs I was really upset with them crossing a line like that, I think that no matter what I said or tried to get them to listen, they would still misuse the whole "may the lord have mercy on you." or "may god have mercy on you."

I know it was one of the two, I just can't fully remember which.

it wasn't okay for them to do that, and even if I am bringing up the words they were saying, I'm trying to do so to point out them repeating it in such a way just because I believe in The Earthly Mother now, and my Nonbinary....

doesn't give that person the right to misused those words and make me or others feel really bad to the point of crying and feeling really terrible.

and if some think "oh, it is making you feel terrible because ya know it's working and they were helping." that if full of bull slag.

I'm sorry, but it's the truth. it is NOT okay for anyone to do that.

I can only hope that I don't run into that Toxic-Religious Jerk again.

because no matter if some people are Religious or Not, at least some of them would never cross that line like that person did.

and even if ya might get better in time after that kind of incident, it doesn't mean the scars aren't still there and can open up at times.

sure it might not make you cry like it did before, and you might not cry at all when thinking about it. but it doesn't mean your still not okay with what happen and you might feel bitter about how it went.

it was that incident, might be a reason why I am even more not a big fan of Toxic-Religious people when they cross a line.

plus I can still believe that there can still be good Religious people, and even good people who aren't religious at all.

plus how a person is good or bad, well bad in a very super bad way...

at times how they are will have nothing to do with them being religious, plus just because some are Toxic-Religious doesn't mean the Religion itself will be at fault, but it is possible who runs different sectors of it from different branches could bring shame by corrupting one of the branches.

like if a church was run by someone who was corrupted, and brainwashed people who go to it.

plus with how some Toxic-Satanist are, they probably think no one who ends up being reborn at some point, will have a major beef with them. but they would be so wrong, cause there will be beef and bitter resentment to them when memories even if it's just bits and pieces end up being recalled by the ones they have done harm upon.

I want to try to believe that not all Satanist would cross a line, and would never taint the soul of a innocent like what those Toxic-Cultist did to Alessa from The First Silent Hill Movie that is based off of The Silent Hill Video Game Series.

and it could be rare for Toxic-Satanist to do harm on those they don't know is a Earth Angel....and for all we know, Alessa was a type of Earth Angel, though the Toxic-Cult that hurt her weren't Toxic-Satanists.

Toxic-Satanists are but just one of those who are part of The Toxic-Religious people who cross lines they shouldn't and end up causing trauma.

and yeah, it wouldn't just be Toxic-Satanist that would taint the soul of a innocent....other people who are Toxic-Religious will end up doing that too, and they would do harm to the one they had caused damage to, and I guess how bad it is, it could very well carry on to the hurt soul's next life.

there can be different levels of it, that aren't as bad or not as dangerous as the higher levels of Toxic-Religious.

but it doesn't mean the less hazard types, aren't still hurtful and bad.

and both the Toxic-Masculine and Toxic-Feminine can make some do bad choices, like how in some point in that Moxie Movie the girl who was fighting for girls, ended up falling into the Toxic-Feminine ways.

but she only was brought out of it, thanks to a girl who really needed her help and she was able to be brought back to the good side of the Feminine energy.

even if some Feminist don't get it, I don't think I can make them understand or listen to reason.

for all we know, Lilith who is Charlie's Mom from Hazbin Hotel...

could represent The Toxic-Feminine side, while Adam from the same show, represents The Toxic-Masculine side.

as weird as it might be, I think if Adam did come back as a Sinner and wasn't just gone, I can't help but think he might end up becoming a little redeemed, like he could be full of himself and think he is The Gift to Womankind.

but it could be possible in that mix, his heart could change a bit.

he will still be a insensitive full of himself jerk, but at the same time maybe one with a heart this time.

I mean fan theories are only at rare times right, and boy do some fans end up getting really REALLY happy when their fan theories end up being canon.

Deltarune Chapter 2's future events were technically predicted by accident by fans.

one of them being about Kris eating the whole pie, like using the knife they took out in Chapter 1 and when Chapter 2 fully came out, it turned out they used it for the pie.

but I still think they may have sneaked out first, went to the library, broke into the computer room in the said library and open a Dark Fountain first, before they went home and ate all the pie.

the other fan predication that were possibly by accident, but was used in a Deltarune AU Comic.

would also have to do with the Darkners becoming Items when they enter The Light World, that turns out to be canon.

if you read "Paper Trail" by LynxGriffin.

anyway, it could be possible that the Ralsei we see in Chapter 2, isn't the same one that Kris and Susie befriends in Chapter 1.

for one thing, the Ralsei in Chapter 1 is a bit shorter and has smaller feet.

and for all we know, when Susie and Kris were busy dealing with Lancer's Dad, the Other-Ralsei switched places with The True-Ralsei.

and once Kris and Susie were back home, The Other-Ralsei had locked the door that leads to the Other Dark World that is Lancer's Home.

I think Lancer might be a Quadruplet, and the Pictures of Him in his room, that we see at first in the Card Kingdom's Dark World.

is really him and his brothers, and even if Susie hadn't notice, it is possible the Lancers switched with each other when bonding with Susie. and the first Lancer she formed a deep bond with, is possibly still trapped in the Card Kingdom with the Ralsei who still wears his original outfit unlike the one who appears in Chapter 2.

it is possible that even if the Dark Worlds that are closed, are just not open and can't get to anymore, it doesn't mean they aren't still active.

and if Kris wanted to, they could very well open them back up.

but they would have to find the key that unlocks both the dark and light world's doors to the unused classroom, because that door in the unused classroom, was possibly locked by The Other-Ralsei to keep Kris and Susie from finding out that they are not the one they had befriended in Chapter 1.

I could call the Other-Ralsei by "Alisre" half of the name is pronounced like "Alice" and the other half is like "ray" I think.

well the name Alice isn't just a Girls name, plus we could view the name Alisre as being gender neutral/unisex name much like the name Alice.

anyway I wish I had came on sooner to talk about who won on that weird poll I did, but I guess it's okay if I took my time.

I will have to in some point, check my Messages but I just don't feel ready yet but I might do so at some point.

I'm sure there are others who would check some messages when they are ready, even after their internet connection going back to normal after acting up form some days, that may have happen some month or so ago.

I think it happen before February...?

but anyway, I'm still surprised I think by Lucifer becoming The Poll Winner, but also kind of glad as well.

like picture if Devil from one of the Cuphead AUs found out he lost in the poll.

Cuphead and Mugman would be fighting, well arguing about which one of them should tell Devil about it. XD

like picture Casino Cups versions of the brothers hearing about the poll and learning their boss lost, like technically both versions of him.

well I guess it could be seen as The Eveningstar Princess being both Weird with her first poll, but also trolling Cuphead and Mugman's Boss from the different Fanon Timelines of The Cuphead Universe.

I have no regrets making that poll, I'm glad I let my weirdness out when making that. XD

once again my giving myself the whole nickname "Eveningstar Princess" besides being a Earth Angel, who is technically a descendant of some Royals, and besides being a descendant of Seth & Cain...

it mainly has to do the weird stuff that happen when my Mom was going to have me, because of the whole fact she NEVER got Morning Sickness with me, she only got Evening Sickness when she was going to have me.

and that is one of my Weird Earth Angel Eveningstar Princess Origins.

and if it is true that some percent of us do have Nephilim Genetics, it would explain why when I was a newborn, I came out looking as big as 2 week old....yeah I was told that I looked like a 2 week old and I was a pretty big newborn.

plus it is possible that Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel, didn't make 100% same mistakes as the one from our universe.

to which the one from our universe, I still want to give the cold hands to face punishment to, for playing a part of the whole balance between The Masculine and Feminine Energies not being fixed properly, and the Toxic-Masculine left unchecked during those times, and yeah Toxic-Feminine is still bad, but it isn't as high or as dangerous as it's Masculine counterpart.

I think that even if I can still believe in Jesus, but if he makes some bad choices in some form of twisted form of justice, then I will not view it as being okay, and it just ends up proving to me it is some humans that make up humanity and some parts of omnimanity, that can do some pretty messed up stuff...

plus if some info is right, and the whole Samael being involved.

if ya puppeteer humans into doing some messed up things, like messing with something that can cause a global pandemic, that is only going to place the humans involved in messing with it so recklessly only half to blame.

and I am NOT putting up with humanity being scapegoat for that.

which as strange as it might be, I had decided to try to pray for Jesus, so whatever dark and toxic-masculine influence that might have him, will be fixed and healed...

I guess some stuff I read before that has to do with some messed up stuff Jesus might do, had made me suspect him, because of too much of a coincidences.

and if I am right, that if he does some choices that does more harm than good, despite still having a good heart, then the reason why he would make those type of harmful choices if he is truly involved.

it might have to do with the Toxic-Masculine energy.

what I can try to do, is try to pray for him, even if some might think it is pointless and super weird, and wonder why I would want to try to pray for him that has to do with that stuff.

but I have my reasons, I mean yeah if he is a descendant of King David as well, even if I'm from the side of King Solomon and not being able to take that throne is a blessing in disguise for me.

but yeah, he would still be family, even if distant, and there is one family I don't much consider family much anymore after they did something really REALLY bad....of course I'm talking about my older cousin who besides hurting my feelings to the point where I had to hide in the bathroom to cry, he has done some stuff that is far worse than that to someone else...

I'm still gonna hope I'm not Jesus's descendant, and we are only distant cousins...but anyway, not everyone has to agree about my feelings about the whole possibility the reason why he could be involved and make some pretty bad choices, could be because he is under the influence of some Toxic-Masculine energy and he needs to be healed from it.

I'm not going to make others believe it, just share my belief and thoughts about it.

anyway if when I'm able to, I could make another poll that involves Adorkable Apple Goober Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel.

and I guess if we think about it, Devil from The Cuphead Show did perhaps get second place. XD

Devil from Cuphead Game, came in last.

and the Winner of the poll who became The Number 1 Adorkable Apple Goober King, is Lucifer aka Princess Charlie's Dad. :)

oh yeah, before I forget...

some of the episodes of Cuphead Show, made me think that the Devil from that universe could of been The Steven who was messing with time travel, while the new timeline version of Steven Quartz Universe would become Sans of Undertale.

Devil from the Cuphead Show, had his items put in bubbles and he ended up fusing with Santa....he be Half-Gem...O_O

I just remembered I wanted to talk about that weird fan headcanon, I mean I had posted this before editing that part in, but the reason why I had to hurry was because of food...which I'm still eating.

Devil from Cuphead Show, can't hide the truth...he is a Steven. XD

get him to sing along with the Cookie Cat song and there might be some proof, if he knows the full song and shows sign of Gem Powers, then he is possibly The Original Timeline Steven.

[lexicorp]

Absolutely better than the "just cuz" shit. I know when I write my ES fic, particularly in the moment of one on one between Megs and Op, he's more distant and even tosses in a bit of offhanded disses at Megs in his kinda like snark/professional way. Their dynamic is one that fascinates me in its own way, since I relate to the situation of wanting a relationship with someone who wasn't/isn't that great to you.

And starting out on it with no build up or deeper explanation absolutely just bothered me so much 😑 like I've tried to come up with a bunch of theories to make sense of it, wrote a post on it actually, but still it feels lacking. then the IDW and Sky bound shit just is so wack with that. Idk how well IDW Megs redemption was but even if it /is/ done good, it feels plain wrong to not allow Star his own imo.

Probs why when it comes to my SS lore, both of em get a chance, tho it's complicated amongst many levels. Idk if you'd want me to rant on that--prob would have to be its own post istg XD (do plan on an ask blog at some point actually)

And omG dude! SERIOUSLY! Sure, I like the humans in TFP, there, I think they did a decent job keeping the focus the bots with the humans stuff getting in the way at times. And I at least like Alexis in Armada (but lemme tell ya dude when I first started that series I had to go out and back in to make sure cuz I outwardly was like "wtf are with these humans? I signed up for bots bitch idc bout ya dang high school" XD). Or ES with them, like, I don't mind em. I like the conflict note with humans being antagonists. But my lawd would I love more TF shows with just no humans, or at /least/ no human main characters. Just Cybertron lore. Something that really hit everything for me with TFOne dude

That is one thing I can appreciate from Cyberverse (tho I need to finish it), is that they actually didn't have any human main characters. All was about the bots even when on earth which is like 👏nice

The warping reality lore that abusers do really is so universal I think. The abuser trademark- the biggest form of control for them being the ability to have a grip on your sense of what is and isn't and your own mental grasp of right, wrong, and the direction of blame.

Its so ridiculous how it can make you feel insane as everyone is calling you as such, and the fact of the abuser having a truck load of yes-men that they've too manipulated to their wim just is crafted to affirm that statement. Then that inane flat hypocrisy telling someone to be what they are not (like the open minded example), just too furthers the doubt of what the meaning of that thing is.

Then the constant battle between those people on one side and the other just too tends to feel like nothing's even happening.

And even if you have mentioned ur experience before, I very much welcome reiterated expressions of your frustrations^^ it clearly still needs to be let out and said and those things just linger so hard with the confusion thick bullshit like that invoke. Like it makes absolutely no sense, and it's contradictory for ppl you perceive as smart to condone stupid shit. It's like a damn paradox. It sucks, and is tiring as shit.

That perpetual shadow of that risk of mirroring or becoming an abuser rlly is so hard- cuz y'know that cycle loves to repeat itself. Like the characteristic of stubborn "I'm right and I won't let my opinion be changed", could easily slip out after all this time of being told you're wrong and drilled to be so subservient and apologetic for sticking up for your sense of reality. Since it'd come from a rebellious and compounded anger of "y'know what, fuck you". Which is understandable. Even if problematic.

But even if that /could/ happen, being self aware and willing to take notes from those who aren't on the side of your abuser, can keep it from rooting too deep. Like I think that your ability to express your standing on not liking Megatron to be redeemed full stop, while recognizing objectively other possible approaches to a character's forgiveness, is proof that you are doing just fine my friend^^

And man that quote from your fam-- nah that is... /Very/ questionable. Like that sorta statement is an isolation tactic. I very much wish you luck and good fortune navigating that dood ;-;

New meditation strat just dropped

Instead of letting the salt thoughts strict down a river, toss ur problems out Astrotrain's airlock :D

Me, at the entirety of the transformers franchise: wow starscream may deserve a lot of things but not that