#the first broken streak was in fact mean girls so arguably it wasn't broken at all. lesbian janis truther. lesbian regina truther.

[muppetminge]

i don't as such care much for the concept of pride month, but since i happen to not have much going in june i will take this as an excuse to watch a bunch a lesbian films. in theory, this could be 30 - in practice, it almost definitely won't be. i will 100 % get bored and stop at some point. anyway i want to find like actually good lesbian movies - which might be an oxymoron, but anyway - this means i'll only be watching woman-directed movies, preferably lesbian-directed but i'm aware i probably won't get to be that picky </3.

movies watched:

1. The Watermelon Woman (1996), dir. Cheryl Dunye. "all you do since you don't have a girlfriend is watch those boring old films" well, screw you too, tam. so happy to start off the month with something that's actually good. thank you cheryl <3 speaking of, this woman is so fucking hot it's bullshit. also i do need her earrings like asap but that's another topic. forever saddened by the death of video stores... where am i supposed to go to meet hot lesbians now? netflix? it's bullshit, man.

I don't think there's any part of this I don't find incredibly compelling. It's really funny, and just generally so charming and, well, human. the narrative of building your own history really resonates, and honestly cheryl gets it across incredibly.

2. Pariah (2011), dir. Dee Ress. i didn't vibe with this one as much, but i guess that's my own fault considering i knew very well going into this that i don't particularly like coming-of-age movies. the soundtrack hit most of the time, even if the soundscape in general was a bit flat for my taste. it's a very dark movie. like, physically. i couldn't see shit half the time. also not really a fan of the camerawork throughout most of it. it's a nice-looking film if it's your kind of taste - unfortunately i am too kitsch to really appreciate it :/ i thought scene near the end with lee and her dad on the roof was really nice. also found kim wayans' character really compelling

3. La Belle Saison (2015), dir. Catherine Corsini. not projecting but also delphine i feel you so hard. is this representation because if so i don't mind it... (except the part where you're actually getting some but whatever). desperately making me feel like i should wear more tank tops. anyway delphine was really in a headlock with every single one of her principles toward the end huh. i get the dilemma though her riding tractors is basically public service (to Me because it's incredibly hot). i'm not even gonna be an ass about it like i genuinely just really liked this.

4. But I'm a Cheerleader (1999), dir. Jaime Babbit. "1-2-3-4, inverts we won't be no more!" obviously i've watched this a million times before. did take this as an excuse to watch the extended edition and like just saying ms babbit if you want to extend even more you're more than welcome to it <3 gonna be careful about mentioning natasha here because i love her and chances are i won't be able to shut up again but gd people really do underestimate how fucking funny she is… i've personal beef with clea for having basically the same haircut i had for a long while and making it look so much better. only realized on this watch that melanie lynskey's playing hilary. incredible. anyway i genuinely don't know what more anyone could possibly want in a movie. it's so hot. like all movies should look like this - let those colors pop for a change! one of the best soundtracks of the last thirty years and i'm so serious about that.

i think this was probably the first genuinely good lesbian movie i saw as a teenager desperately searching for something to relate to. it still grips me from the very first scene even now. i do think the stars aligned to make this work. it's so funny and it's such a great satire.

5. リズと青い鳥 / Liz and the Blue Bird (2018), dir. Naoko Yamada. shit, dude. first of all this is so so pretty. it makes me insane how much care and effort they'll put into like a background shot of a shelf or something... and all the watercolor... gorgeous. like just the opening shot with all flowers and the colors that are just popping right out at you... in general just really effective visual communication, especially on rewatches i'd imagine (after having seen the final hug scene). i remember when i went to high school one of my classmates was so incredibly musically talented it was genuinely a bit infuriating and i was so shocked she didn't go on to study music 'cause i would have if i'd been able to get in lmao. anyway this was really sweet. the last third is so incredible. when they finally play it, damn... genuinely like goosebumps. and then it somehow kept going? i feel like it's still settling while i'm writing this but i feel like i'm probably going to watch again at some point.

6. I Can't Think Straight (2008), dir. Shamim Sarif. cut to waters novel. cut to k.d. lang cd. one wonders. this having a lower average than imagine me & you if anything really shows that reviews are bullshit. loved the music. loved lisa ray's character being half a second from jumping leyla at all times. loved zina; wish she'd had more scenes. loved leyla's dad being an insurance salesman; life insurance even. sells itself. when the ladies finally did jump each other it was with zero hesitation and i fuck with that so hard. this movie is so funny i don't care. bonus the ladies are very very hot. you can't fault a movie from 2008 for being incredibly 2008. here's to leyla for one day achieving the honor of being tala's fifth fiance(e). truly gettin' it all.

7. Portrait de la jeune fille en feu (2019), dir. Céline Sciamma. writing this on the eighth with an officially broken streak :( it Will happen again. this is indeed the first time i've watched this because i am to my core a contrarian bitch and seeing everyone freak out about this did Not make me want to watch it. now i have, and like... it's alright, yeah. didn't love love it. it's probably too long for what it's got going on. i loved héloïse; she was great. there's some really powerful scenes in here, the bonfire scene especially. i really liked how blue the ocean was; i hate this tendency of (especially) period pieces washing out everything to a ridiculous degree. i know some people are like insane about this movie and i'm happy for them but i can't relate unfortunately.

i did think briefly at the start that it was gonna be about croquis, and i really wish it had been, ngl.

8. Carmen y Lola (2018), dir. Arantxa Echevarría. 'ya te he olvidado' yeah babe sure looks it. had a certain interest in this going into it for very elaborate personal reasons. it's a lot better than the synopsis makes it sound. lola searching 'lesbianas madrid' like i feel you girl, been there!!! speaking of i was def convinced lola was a lesbian which feels like so rare in such a 'mainstream' movie lmao so well done. very believable. and like my girl was so so persistent you gotta give her that like she really went for it. can't blame her i'd be so into carmen too so like. her voice made me wanna die. so hot. (sí también es que el acento madrileño me pone un poquito pero,,,,). it really went insane at the end like damn. i was not expecting the ending tho like i really thought carmen was gonna be annoying about it. do i even have to save that i really liked this? because surprisingly i really really did. i can't help but feel it's getting rewatched a ton some time lmaooo.

9. 漂浪青春 / Drifting Flowers (2008), dir. Zero Chou. can't believe someone in the reviews of this stole my joke three years ago. speaking of reviews don't look at them because of course people have to be so so annoying about this. as usual. anyway. i was so drawn in by this you wouldn't belive!! i don't even know what to say... this is for all us if these walls could talk babes btw. loved the scene where one of the characters blatantly walked by posters and posters of one of chou's other movies. show off.

diego!!! <3<3<3 every single character is lovely but diego made me wanna *** ngl. it did hit very close to home, thanks for asking. realised in her part that i probably chose the wrong day to watch this but that's on me lmao. this would have broken me if i had watched it as a teenager lowkey. does it come across in this that i really like interconnecting vignettes? because i do, and this is really well-executed. hope you'll watch it and also that you'll find less spotty subtitles than i did if you do lmao.

it's a very genuine movie; i don't mean that in a condescending way, because it's also very much a well-made movie, but it's a movie that so clearly has a lot to say, and i appreciated all of it. perhaps this is also why i was so surprised at the reviews, because it really resonated with me. i know i've already pointed out diego a lot, but all three parts were incredible and they really held each other up. i don't think any of them would feel as complete without the other parts. in an odd way it stands like a shining light in the darkness.

10. Addicted to Fresno (2015), dir. Jaime Babbit. "(lesbians are poor. ..)" confirmed babbit apologist sorry :/ anyway i'm not gonna compare this to cheerleader i wouldn't want to try to follow that either. it's a fun movie! i laughed a ton. my lyonne obsession is well-documented so i'm not even gonna touch on that lmao. that being said martha is exactly the kind of lesbian i want to see more of (no projection here. obviously). i'm bound to be all over anything with these themes; lo and behold indeed i was. i stand by this being really well-executed, y'all just didn't get what she was trying to do <3 you could argue some tonal difficulties, but honestly i'm not going to. it worked. it's a bit quiet, but i can see that adding to the whole point of being stuck. some surprise appearances to delight

11. Saving Face (2004), dir. Alice Wu. first of all gd will's mom has got it going on. anyway i wanted a fun romcom and i got a fun romcom so i'm not complaining! i will say that i think this is the genre at its best. like romcoms often risk coming across as a bit clinical i feel, a bit empty, but this is just so warm. i adored hwei-lan (not just because she's hot but let me reiterate that she's so unbelievably hot; i get that boy so much, i really do), she's so funny. i love circular storytelling, and i think the end was done really well. the scene after that during the credits is exactly how i want my movies to end actually, i want my face to hurt smiling. don't you? wil is an absolutely idiot. i cannot blame her for a single thing. also i get you babe, i can't stand for dancers either. i feel like this is close to being one of most just plain fun movies i've watched so far.

12. Kyss mig (2011), dir. Alexandra-Therese Keining. gd i so want all my lesbian movies to start with a straight sex scene, don't you? coming to you with the exact opposite mood of that from yesterday. everyone in this is horrible. mia and frida's relationship is not believable at all to me sorry. i barely believe that these two even like each other if i'm being honest. it's not the first movie here where the romance comes a bit from nowhere (namely portrait, which made up for it with some level of charm, and belle saison, which i just liked enough otherwise to excuse it) but here i'm definitely gonna blame it for it because it's got nothing else going on, either. to be entirely fair, it was very optimistic going into this with my dislike of 'scandi dramas', especially of the swedish variety, but fuuuuck, i was so bored i'm sorry. it's soooo slow. i actually quite liked elin but she was there for like five seconds - and good for her, because damn you deserve better babe... both of the main women kind of suck lmao but at least frida sucks in a fun way most of the time, so she's excused. i don't know if i'm supposed to feel bad for tim (probably! knowing the genre, knowing swedes, knowing movies), but he's such an asshole. i genuinely think mia should have killed him. i can't blame mia for sucking; her dad's a major asshole, i'm sure she's had it rough. i'm sure if you like this sort of movies it's alright. it's not badly made by any account, i just really didn't like it. it has its audience. definitely a new low so far. the one good thing about this was that it really made me appreciate being a lesbian; those scenes with mia and tim genuinely looked like my personal hell. if i was mia i'd jump the first girl who looked at me too, ngl. the ending did make up for a few things, all things considered. i watched a not insignificant part of this without subtitles (because they would not workkkk) and i'm so brave for that tbh

13. Kokon (2020), dir. Leonie Krippendorff. proof that i should probably do more research before watching stuff (never going to happen though; no fun) because i did not realise this would be this much of a coming-of-age story. like literally hitting all the points. anyway it didn't do much for me. i really don't want to be mean here because it's obviously a very well-made film, and i get the intention, but... i was so fucking bored you would not believe. like i was less actively annoyed by this than kyss mig, but way more bored. it's not a very long movie, but it sure feels like it! anyway, if you're watching for the rep, you can skip this one; it's not really the main part of the movie, which is fine - comparatively, pariah had much more of a lesbian focus. this one really is just coming-of-age. something something you know you're in berlin when the whitest girl you've ever seen is swearing on the qur'an. i'm so glad i'm not a teenager - and what a joy to be getting further and further away every day <33

14. Desert Hearts (1985), dir. Donna Deitch. first of all the soundtracks is lovely (and it's a well-documented fact that mona will forgive everything for a good soundtrack). second of all i want to watch this again. like, immediately, right now. i'm gonna watch this so much i fear it's not even funny. ignore the 80s hair; we're in the 50s. one of the better romances yet. the lesbian-english teacher hypothesis proving true time and time again... incredible. cay is so funny. like the way the camera pans over to her in the bed in the hotel room scene... cinema! i was fucking done lmao. it's all just very lovely.

15. Go Fish (1994), dir. Rose Troche. well, we had to go here at some point. it's a very jazzy movie; take that however you wish. i have my criticisms, but also you can't blame a 90s movie for being too 90s (which in truth is what a lot of it boils down to). max' narrations were without a doubt my favorite part, the start especially so. there's more lesbians in one 80 minute movie than i've even crossed paths with, ever. cutting your fingernails before a date counts as foreplay in my book.

16. Joven y alocada (2012), dir. Marialy Rivas. i just know the progressive profesoras are going wild over this. huge respect to chileans for seeing a word and deciding fuck that shit and dropping half of it. top five accent ngl. also polola... also credit for starting a movie in the most uncomfortable way possible. anyway i am so not the target audience for this it's not even funny. it's well-composed, the style is great, entirely well-done, did not care for it. i only finished because i couldn't get the last-moment replacement to work and i didn't have time to watch anything else lmao. i have a lot of respect for rivas (hence me watching this) but... yeah. also really getting confirmed that i am very fine with lesbian sex scenes but straight sex scenes are horrrrrible.. nice reminder of the lesbianism i guess! i will be singing yo no te pido la luuuuna the rest of the night though. non voglio mica la luna...

17. Les Rendez-vous d'Anna (1978), dir. Chantal Akerman. an excuse to cross some akerman off my watchlist? you could call it that. i have a ton of respect for her. she's a very interesting person, i think. an interesting movie, too, all things considered. i'm very much drawn to the fastpaced and erratic truth be told, which this is like the polar opposite of, but it's got its point. i really liked the part with her mother. that was probably the high point of this. i didn't really care for either of the guys, like, at all, but it is what it is. still gathering my thoughts, i feel. not sure i'm entirely in the right space to really appreciate this.

18. Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same (2011), dir. Madeleine Olnek. "...I did wonder about the gills". oh, this is how you make a movie. (was smiling and/or laughing from beginning to end). question: can this be replicated in real life. like can i just go find the nearest hot stationery clerk or how does this work.

19. Mädchen in Uniform (1931), dir. Leontine Sagan. all impact aside, this is a lot more fun than i'd thought. obviously i've been putting this off for a while now considering i hadn't seen it til now, but i really did enjoy it. i feel like it's rare seeing girls just having fun like this. as a young girl i was very into this old book series (incidentally from my mother's childhood) about some girls at a boarding school; entirely irrelevant to every and anything here, but watching this gave me the same vibe throughout much of it.

20. سكر بنات / Caramel (2007), dir. Nadine Labaki. absolutely adore this one description i found that says rima is struggling with her attraction to women - lmao where?? the most she struggles in this movie is the coerced leg wax lmao. otherwise it's basically all very sensual hair washing, gd bless. she's also very hot btw i do need to mention that. i see you all going crazy over labaki and you're not wrong but gd man... anyway, sensual hairwashing aside, the straight girls are alright too. seriously, this is actually very good. even though rima's the lesbian the most homoerotic part of this is layale very aggresively waxing of her lover's wife.

21. Een vrouw als Eva (1979), dir. Nouchka van Brakel. after a hundred minutes still not convinced this is a real language. anyway, i don't even know what to say. fuck, dude. gd. you could argue dated, but fuck it's rare to see a movie like this treat its lesbian protagonist with this much sympathy, even today. there's a lot to say, but in my mind this is what i keep coming back to. it's in the little things. at no point does this feel perfomative to me, either. a few asides: the beginning of this movie was very extremely effective at showing how utterly miserable eve was lmao. ad is a giant asshole; eve not slapping him is a testament to this poor woman's patience.

22. 蝴蝶 / Butterfly (2004), dir. Mak Yan-Yan. between the marianne faithful, patti smith and janis joplin i can't be entirely sure jin's place isn't actually mine also fuck josie ho is gorgeous. i almost didn't watch this (length) but gdddd i'm so glad i did. it took a bit for me to get into, but by the time it ended i had to just sit for a moment. it's breathtaking, honestly. i don't know what it is - maybe it's the timelessness? the way everything weaves in and out of each other constantly, like it's all happening at the same time. i don't know. it's so gorgeous, though.

23. Viola di mare (2009), dir. Donatella Maiorca. ah, sicilia, amore mio <3 anyway what the fuck. i think that's my main impression for the moment. gd. supposedly based of a real story, i really do think it's told well for the most part. i mean, gd, it would have been so easy to focus on all the surrounding, but the love really is palpable i gotta be honest. making me sigh and swoon over here... if more people were like angela, like first of all that would rule, but also lesbian movies would be sooo short. she's damn persistent lmao love her <3 definitely worth watching, but like do not read up on a single thing beforehand.

24. The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), dir. Maria Maggenti. "Is this another one?" sometimes you really just do wanna watch two girls having fun. american high schools in media always throws me a bit because i genuinely can't tell how much is artistic exaggeration and how much is just you guys living like that. seems sick. if i still went to the hairdresser i'd show her a picture of randy in this. not getting over vicky's husband getting physical with a literal seventeen year old lmaoo go home dude! it's all very cute, genuinely. by my count this brings the jopling counter up to three. bonus for the bratmobile.

25. I've Heard the Mermaids Singing (1987), dir. Patricia Rozema. i'm really glad this is the one i'm the ending this on. gddddddddd i loved this so much. to quote polly herself: it's so... nice! oh, polly... <3 seeing a quirky weird girl represented so well is like seeing a shooting star.

all in all: this has been... really fun, actually. i don't know that i was counting on that. i did not in fact get bored and stop. i'm willing to concede that the amount of actually, genuinely good lesbian movies might in fact be a positive integer after all. definitely a much more fun way to spend pride month than engaging in nonsensical discourse. happy july! <3