#the finance smurf

[tanunigans]

THE FINAL SMURFS OF MY (almost) 3-MONTHS-LONG PROJECT !! 87 smurfs with unique designs (except Mimic, you are a Joker, baby, you can be anything and anyone in a wink.)

These last two are Narrator and Bookeeper (Finance, who I renamed for lore reasons.)

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

I shall give you … Lucky and Hoarder >:)

hfyt YES

could have picked twenty years, but no, they'll never get their shit together. It's one of those ~it somehow works and is sweet~ pairing

[postalninja]

Former Canada Post employee, and not only can you ship live bees, you can also ship live day-old chicks! There are very *specific* requirement for both to make sure that they will still be alive when they get to their destination.

So I work at a post office and somebody called me today and asked if they could ship fish to the US, and I wasn’t 100% sure, so obviously I went “let me just check the prohibited goods section of my shipping binder real quick”. Flipped all the way to the US section, found what I was looking for and sent them on their way. But of course naturally after they’d left I’d still had the book open, so naturally I was curious and decided to check it out, and let me tell you, there is some WILD stuff in this book.

•You’re not allowed to ship playing cards to Italy.

•Antarctica simply says refer to Australia. The epitome of logic.

•Andorra is just sad. You’re not allowed to ship artwork, drawings, books or toys of any kind, musical instruments, sheet music, cutlery, furniture, several types of paper, shoes??? It has the longest list of restrictions I’ve come across so far and it’s a country that has a total population of less people than my local college.

•Apparently you aren’t allowed to ship clothing to Ireland, but it only specifies men’s or women’s clothing, so like non-binary people stay winning.

•Only a handful of countries specifically mention that you aren’t allowed to ship asbestos, so like RIP to the rest of the world I guess.

•The US has some very specific things prohibited, including “a knife, gaff, or any other sharp object attached or intended to be attached to the leg of a bird for use in animal fighting ventures” ????

•Canada is the only country I have found so far that specifically states that you cannot ship hate propaganda, which I thought was nice. But then again, it also specifies that you cannot ship any beekeeping apparatuses, but do you know what you CAN ship? LIVE FUCKING BEES.

•There are several countries which seem to be in direct competition with one another, ie pairings of countries that have specifically stated they will not accept anything made in the other country and vice versa.

•You can’t ship things to China that were made in China.

I’m having the time of my life right now.

[primeministerofantarctica]

so. turns out this was easier than i thought

ignore the two generic smurfs after smurfette they're just there bc the formatting sucks :/

also i couldn't find a finance smurf but he belongs in the "burn in smurf hell'' category <3

also i have time to kill so. list below the cut!

1. Clumsy - sweetheart. doesn't have a mean bone in their body. very autistic.

2. Lazy - i don't know how to explain lazy being an unintentional allegory for people with invisible disabilities that are considered a burden and. lazy under capitalism. but he has a big heart and cares about his friends even when they're less than considerate towards him (seriously, WHAT was the slumber party episode? were they like, intentionally trying to torture him?)

3. Jokey - "Oh, the folly of a clown, masking his loneliness with a joke!" <- person who definitely doesn't have any internal issues :). Also can we just appreciate the fact that he has ONE main prank and everybody still falls for it. (not to mention that the prank is. giving people bombs)

4. Timid - he BABY

5. Scaredy - he baby 2

6. Smurfette - specifically lost village smurfette cuz that was where she peaked. you go girl give us an identity crisis and journey of self-discovery only to find the answer was with you all along!

7. Greedy - comics/ 2021 specifically, because him and chef being distinct characters is funny as hell. he's so cute i would totally give him a muffin if he asked.

8. Harmony - he sucks so bad at what he's supposed to be best at! and i think that's so interesting and criminally underexplored! and every time he gets the other smurfs to like his music it ends badly :(.

9. Painter - dramatic ass bitch (affectionate). why was he the only french person in belgium.

10. Doctor - i assume that one's doctor at least. it is now. anyways he's funny as hell, like harmony he's also...bad at his passion. he doesn't have a reason to be a quack, he's just. Like That.

11. Reporter - I like his voice.

12. Poet - there is NO need to speak in couplets all the time, he's so extra.

13. Tailor - "*terrible Kip King impression* EVERYBODY STOP COMPLAINING OR I'LL SCREAM." He's really nice, he made Smurfette that dress in one episode even though he was busy, and he made Tracker a fur coat out of the scraps he gave him and Vanity a scarf with his face hand-embroidered on it just because? AND more importantly, he's very blunt. i like that :)

14. Hefty - no no you didn't see my love for strong muscular guys that are kind and caring and totally whipped for that one girl. ok he's not maws level but like. if you can put "she's so high" by tal bachman in a ship playlist then you've got a valid m/f ship

15. Grouchy - let him say hate again oh god please i will tear my ears out if i have to hear "me, I don't like x" again. fuckin WEAK. also the grammar i wanna curl up on the floor and cry.

16. Farmer - remember when all the smurfs only wore white pants so to distinguish farmer from the others he would just be randomly carrying a hoe for no reason. also his accent is SO silly in the new cartoon i love it.

17. Vanity - just...watch this.

18. Brainy - i'm sorry for putting him so low brainy fans can you ever forgive me /hj. with all fairness i do think he's an interesting character! he's just...interesting in a way that doesn't really appeal to me specifically.

19. Handy - i feel like he would build a doomsday device if he got bored one afternoon and honestly? i respect that.

20. Papa Smurf - sometimes he's a good father figure. sometimes he's a terrible "father figure". it depends on the medium. and the direction of the wind.

21. King (pretentious) Smurf - made a whole authoritarian regime in like. two days. what the hell man.

22. Finance - capitalist :/

[t3r3sa-p]

JUST IN: Wisconsin Judge Enforces Subpoena Against ActBlue in Lawsuit Over Fraudulent Use of Information for ActBlue Finance Money Laundering AKA “Smurfing” | The Gateway Pundit | by Jordan Conradson

ACTBLUE IS ONE OF THE DEMON-CRATS' MONEY LAUNDROMATS TO EVADE CAMPAIGN FINANCE LAWS

✅JUST IN: Wisconsin Judge Enforces Subpoena AGAINST ACTBLUE in Lawsuit Over FRAUDULENT USE OF INFORMATION for ActBlue Finance Money Laundering AKA “Smurfing”

💥...BLOCK, a long-time Republican political strategist, ALLEGED THAT HIS PERSONAL INFORMATION WAS USED OVER THE PREVIOUS FIVE MONTHS TO LAUNDER MONEY 385 TIMES to 62 DIFFERENT CAMPAIGNS and political organizations, INCLUDING 35 DONATIONS TO THE HARRIS VICTORY FUND, THROUGH THE DEMOCRATIC ActBlue fundraising platform... he discovered receipts for ActBlue contributions sent to his pseudonymous email...

[garythingsworld]

JUST IN: Wisconsin Judge Enforces Subpoena Against ActBlue in Lawsuit Over Fraudulent Use of Information for ActBlue Finance Money Laundering AKA “Smurfing” | The Gateway Pundit | by Jordan Conradson

[the-eternal-quest-for-balance]

The lawsuit argues, "Given Plaintiff’s political leanings, he would never consider or consent to donating to any of the ActBlue Campaigns."

"Starting in May 2024, Plaintiff’s personally identifying information (“PII”) has been fraudulently used to make over 385 donations worth over $884 dollars to 62 campaigns and political organizations; 35 of these donations were to the Harris Victory Fund. While these fraudulent donations average out to a very small $3.24 per transaction, they conveniently fit into a loophole created by Federal Election Commission (FEC) reporting requirements," the complaint states. "Of these donations, 86 were initiated as one-time donations, 234 were set up as donations recurring on a weekly basis, and 65 recur on a monthly basis."

[noneofyrbz]

EXCLUSIVE: Potential Campaign Finance Smurfs Influence Arizona Senate Election for Ruben Gallego - Kari Lake Responds! | The Gateway Pundit | by Jordan Conradson

We've have an APP for that.

[buttercupkg66]

Wisconsin GOP Consultant Files Bombshell Lawsuit Over Fraudulent Use of Information for ActBlue Finance Money Laundering AKA “Smurfing”

[mint-moon25]

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[sachinaggarwalok]

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[bdslab]

finance smurf giving himself extra money cause he "made the coins" even tho miner smurf is the one who got the gold, painter smurf is the one who made the design, sculptor smurf is the one who made the mold, and handy smurf is the one who physically made the coins :/

[capnportofficial]

Finance Smurf | Schtroumpf Financière | Pitufa Financiera

Who the hell decided the Wikipedia order of Smurfs characters? There’s like four completely irrelevant weirdos before Lazy Smurf, and then we don’t even get to Dreamy Smurf until #82.

Anyways, I hate this capitalist bastard, which is why I was slow making her. Gold because rich or whatever. Fuck Finance Smurf.

Smurfs Genderbend Project, inspired by the art of @/jeronendeconinck1 on Instagram. This design project is a simple one- what if the Smurfs had been designed as girls, instead of boys? What would they look like, and what would change about the comics, shows, and movies? This is mostly a Doylist look at the concept, as if it’s a world where everything is the same as ours except Peyo decided to make a village of tiny blue girls instead of tiny blue boys.

[primeministerofantarctica]

HI BOO coming for the smurf ask with number 3 and 13 <33

HI EMIII!! 💖

3. Do you have a favorite comic book story? If so, what is it?

I've read "The Finance Smurf" so many times, I think it'd be a lie to say anything but that 😅

I don't see it topping anyone else's list, but I am deeply, deeply fascinated by the sociopolitical messages happening here. "Capitalism Money is the source of all our problems and is the root cause of people's greed, desperation, and selfishness" is absolutely wild to publish in a children's comic (/complimentary).

13. What are your lore/ worldbuilding headcanons?

putting this under a cut

Smurfs were originally created by an ancient moon deity, so long ago that the deity has since "died" (been forgotten about). That's why they're seen as so magically valuable, and why they're so connected to the moon.

Speaking of the moon, early Smurfs followed a lunar calendar. Current Smurfs follow a solar calendar, but several holidays and festivals are still decided on by the phases of the moon.

The formula Gargamel used to make Smurfette actually used to be pretty common. Wizards could make fake Smurfs to act as assistants or test subjects, until people started asking questions like "is it ethical to create a sentient being just to serve you?" and the spell got banned.

Papa and Grandpa were the only survivors of a plague epidemic because they were away from the village (albeit, not together) at the time. Papa was out on a hike looking for plants to make potions with when Scholar Smurf (then-second in command and de facto leader) sent him a letter by bird ordering him to travel across China to find a special herb. It was only when he got back, years later, that Papa realized it was a distraction to keep him away until the disease had run its course.

Papa did NOT get 99 babies at once, dear god no. They were brought over a twenty-year timespan (which granted is only like two years in smurf development stages, but it's still better than nothing). Also a few smurfs like Painter and Miller are refugees from other villages that have been destroyed thanks to humans encroaching on the wilderness.

The current Smurf language is a pidgin of the original Smurf language and [whatever language you're consuming smurfs content in]. Original Smurf language had only one word and was completely tonal. As a result, today's Smurfs have extremely sensitive hearing regarding pitch, and that's why the Smurfs who struggle with pitch due to neurodivergency sound "strange" (Clumsy with his autism and southern american accent, Harmony with his amusia and dear-god-i-don't-know-what-hamilton-camp-was-going-for?.) (Brainy, on the other hand, made up for it by intensely studying the ancient language, and now he's annoyed that the other Smurfs aren't even trying to pronounce words correctly).

You know how Belgians have that holiday where they take a tree from the forest and replant it in the middle of Brussels? Smurfs have their own holiday a day after where they plant new trees. And of course, throw a party, because when is it not a good time for a party?

[muppet-facts]

Muppet Fact #353

In Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue, characters from the Muppet Babies, The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Garfield, The Real Ghostbusters, ALF, The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show, Alvin and the Chipmunks, DuckTales, The Smurfs, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were brought together for a program on NBC, CBS, and ABC financed by McDonald's to deter kids from using drugs.

Source:

Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue. April 21, 1990.