#the fear that she's going to do the same thing. and the paranoia is first established through the parallel invoking the same feeling

[waynes-multiverse]

Right??! I love some Shaw drama 😂

And honestly, if you do get the books, get the eBook version and use the search for what you want to find because they're looong lol (unless you really want to read them and Colter's current case 😅). I mostly used them for research, but I got really hooked on some parts then 😂 I did read the third in its entirety. I'm really curious where the show is going because in the books, their mom is a lot nicer and less sus loll ➡️ But if you ever wanna know something specific, ask away 😉

Ahh so him wanting to solve his father's murder is what drove him to distance himself from his wife and kids, in order to help him reconcile with Colter. It does make sense, even if it is heartbreaking.

My headcanon was that Russell naturally would have some childhood trauma and would've probably realized more what was going on than his younger siblings (sorta like Dean lol). But my thought was that having kids would probably trigger some subconscious fears, and due to the paranoia he experiences through his job, he seems like someone who would've worried a lot he'd become like his father, so reconnecting with his siblings was a way to close those old wounds and finally move on. No idea if that makes sense, but here we are 😂

Solving the murder was more a means to end for him because he assumed Colter wouldn't believe him without evidence. But you can tell Russell is still a bit in denial about some things and clearly thinks it's better to just leave it be. Luckily, reader and Colter won't let him lol

I was literally just wondering about how he views his mom in all of this. She literally let Colter believe Russell had something to do with Ashton's fall, and then basically told him to get gone. What kind of mother does that? She seems very suss in all of this.

Like I said above, I'm extremely curious what the show is doing because they give us these crumbs that don't match the books 👀

LMAO. I don't know who Manny is, but I already love him! 😂

Manny is the best and sweetest character in all of this. He jumped straight from the prequel to say hi 😂

LOL God, Russell isn't good at this, is he? It's tough to say which one of the Shaw boys got more childhood related trauma affecting their ability to communicate, let alone be emotionally available. 😭

Oh, he really isn't 😆 And I do think Russell is more socially awkward but craves company/family, whereas Colter is smoother talking to people but prefers to be alone lol

Oh my God, Russ… I wasn't expecting you to take it there, but it's an understandable consequence of his PSTD, especially for him as a soldier. It also explains why she picked up Lewis and left him to pull himself together.

I thought a long time about it, but I figured he would at least have some mild PTSD, and (in this story lol) it amplified the childhood trauma. I figured that would make sense for him. And reader packing the kids and leaving was supposed to mirror his childhood and own mother a little. I think in the end, Russell even admired her (and loved her more) for leaving because she put the kids first, and he probably wished his mother had done the same 🥲💔

Ooh again with those lies of omission...

Oh, it never stops with him 😂

But I'm glad Colter and Russell are getting just as much of an honest heart-to-heart as Russ and the reader did. 💜

Aww, glad you enjoyed that! I so wanted to give them a real and honest conversation since the show still hasn't really done that. *sighs* hooray for fanfics! 😂🩵

The Exit Strategy – Part 4

Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there’s one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

Warnings: 18+, language, fluff, some angst & feels, family secrets, spy stuff, a bit of spiciness

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: Welcome back, friends! We're diving a bit into Shaw family secrets this week – fully Wayne's version, though. While I did read the books, there's no major spoilers**, so don't you worry. I just played with an idea here 🤓 I also won't be fully diving into the Shaw family life, but some things are heavily hinted to be... fishy here 👀 Enjoy & let me know what you think! 🤍

**There's a small part where Russell tells Colter about their parents. It's mentioned in the books that their mother was a psychiatrist. I took that and ran with it 🤷‍♀️

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Part 4: This Is Not an Exit

“You’ve been walking down memory lane a lot tonight,” you teased with a nudge of his ribs, still tightly cuddled in his warm embrace in the freezing basement.

“Haven’t you?”

“No, I have,” you admitted with a melancholic sigh. “Maybe we should stop dwelling on the past so much. Think more about the future…”

Russell scoffed a small chuckle. “Dory said something similar not that long ago. Actually the reason why I came here.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, his fingers absently drawing circles on your arm. “I think it’s time we retire, sweetheart. I mean, after everything we’ve been through, I think we deserve to, right? You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I’m surprised we’re even still here, considering how many war zones we’ve been in.”

“Well, you know what they say – beware the old soldier because he’s old for a reason,” you said with a smile.

“Yeah, think I might be getting a little too old…” Russell chucked lightly, running a hand through his long hair. “So? What d’you think? One last hurrah, and then we hang this up? I was thinking maybe we could open up a brewery, you know? A family place. Bet the kids would love it.”

“Sounds nice,” you said with a yearning smile. You wanted all of that and more. “I’d love to retire with you.”

“But?”

You laughed slightly at his anticipating look. “But I don’t think you can yet.”

His eyebrows drew together till they met above the bridge of his freckled nose. “What d’you mean? I just told you I’m ready.”

“You say you are, but you aren’t,” you replied like the annoying Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. “Have you solved the murder yet?”

Russell licked his lips, which was his telltale sign that you caught him there. After all, you knew him better than anyone in this world – knowing when he needed to be pushed and shoved was part of it.

“No, but I don’t need to anymore. Look, the only reason I wanted to solve it was because I thought I had to prove my innocence to Colter. And well, turns out I didn’t. He believed me anyways, so…”

“That wasn’t the only reason,” you reminded him with a scrutinizing look.

“Maybe, but like I said – Dory thinks we should keep all this bullshit in the past, and after the last three years, I’m starting to agree with her,” Russell said, dragging a hand over his face.

“Look, if that’s what you want–”

“It’s what I want,” he assured you and placed a hand on your thigh, gently squeezing it. “Having my little brother and sister back is enough. I don’t need more. Nothing good ever comes from being greedy.”

You nodded in understanding, clearing your throat. “Still, in the name of our deal to always be honest, I kinda have to confess something.”

Rising from your seat, you dusted off your awful, flowery skirt and wandered to the wall safe once more, retrieving a thick folder from it. You took your place next to Russell again, his questioning eyes meeting yours as you handed him your research.

“When you didn’t come back after a year or so, I started looking into it as well. Might have done a full deep-dive,” you admitted with a bite of your lip.

Russell shot you a chiding look, shaking his head, but most of all, he was worried. “I told you to leave it alone. You don’t know what sorta people we’re dealing with here, but we do know they’re dangerous.”

“I know. I just wanted to help. Figured I could speed it along. I do have more access than you,” you countered softly. “I’m sorry, okay? But I was careful. I promise.”

“Good,” he said and looked at you, interlacing your fingers with his. “‘Cause the last thing I want is losing you over this bullshit, too.”

Nodding, you squeezed his hand in reassurance. “There’s something you should know, though.” He raised his brow anew – you’d always been full of surprises. Life certainly had never been boring. “Someone accessed the files after me.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. Definitely had a higher clearance than me, though,” you replied.

Russell threw his arms up, and you could see he was getting more upset again. “See? This is what I’m talking about! The whole point of us separating was to keep you and the kids away from it. Otherwise, we could’ve just stayed together, and I could’ve joined Horizon anyways.”

“I know that, too,” you said remorsefully. “But don’t worry. I wasn’t followed, and no one ever came after me. I made sure of it. It’s been two years now. They probably figured it was nothing after I didn’t reach out to you straight away.”

“Still… I don’t want you involved, alright?”

“What about Colter? Doesn’t he want to know? He doesn’t strike me as someone who just lets things go,” you noted observantly.

Russell clicked his tongue – a sign of defeat. “He isn’t, but he’s not gonna find anything either. I mean, the only reason I know is because you were so relentless and kept digging.”

“You haven’t told him what we found out?”

Russell licked his lips and admitted quietly, “No. I don’t think it does anyone any good to keep looking into this.”

Leaning forward and hugging your knees, your head bobbed pensively. “I thought you guys talked about what happened?”

“We did. Kinda… It’s complicated,” he stated, swallowing. “Dory was easy, you know? I guess she never really believed it… But it took a while till Colter even picked up the phone, let alone answered a goddamn text message. Had to get a little annoying.”

You smirked. “Well, you’re good at that. That’s how you won me over.”

“By being persistent?”

“Exactly. Like a tardigrade.” You grinned. “I mean, you kind of are doing it now again, too.”

He chuckled quietly. “Yeah, guess so.”

“Is that why you haven’t told him about me and the kids? Because you’re not sure about him yet?”

“Partially, yeah,” he admitted. “I guess I wanted to protect you. And maybe myself a little, too… Not sure I’m ready for those two worlds to meet yet, you know? I mean, you and the kids are the best things that ever happened to me, and when I look at Colter or Dory, I’m sometimes reminded of the worst things in my life.”

“What about your mother?”

Russell let out an exhaustive sigh that was half amused. “Geez, you haven’t changed a bit. You still ask the most uncomfortable questions possible.”

You laughed a little. “Gathering intelligence in uncomfortable ways is kind of my job, Shaw.”

“Yup, and no one’s better at it than you, sweetheart,” Russell quipped.

“So I’m guessing it’s a no on Mommie Dearest?”

Russell licked his lips, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna see her. Mostly because I don’t even know what to fucking say anymore,” he said. “I don’t want her to meet the kids either.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him and took his hand in yours. “It’s your choice, Russ. We go at your pace, alright?”

“Thank you.” Russell brought your intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of your hand before he looked at you deeply, a smile dancing across his plump lips. “I love you.”

You mirrored his smile, your heart fluttering like a wild butterfly in your chest. “I love you, too.”

“I’ll tell them – Dory and Colter. I want this to work,” he promised. “Just… after we finish this. I want him to have a clear head. I prefer not to get him killed, you know?”

“I get it. I thought the same thing when I first met you, too,” you joked, patting his chest. “But you brought him into this. It’s kinda on you.”

Russell scratched his bearded chin. “Yeah, but I didn’t exactly know what I’d bring him into.”

“Didn’t you, though?”

Amused, Russell bobbed his head. “Yeah, maybe I did,” he acknowledged. “You know, when Manny called me–”

Your eyes widened. “Manny called you?”

Russell blinked at you, brow creased in confusion. “Yeah, why?”

“That motherfucker…”

Furiously, you stomped to the desk and grabbed the radio. “Drone-5. This is Queen Bee-1. Report to Hive.”

The static of the radio cracked almost instantly, as if the idiot had been waiting all night for this call. “Yo, Queen Bee-1. How’s my boy?” Manny’s laugh echoed through the basement.

Russell’s glowing cheeks reached his eyes when he heard his friend’s voice. He’d known the guy almost as long as Doug.

“You’re the one who fucking told him?!” you yelled into the radio, almost crushing the device in your hand.

“To be fair, I told him not to engage with tango,” Manny sheepishly replied.

“Ha-ha, funny. Fuck you,” you huffed and tossed Russ the walkie-talkie. He caught it with one hand.

His boyish grin widened as he pushed the button. “You know, Drone-5, you could’ve told me you were actually working this thing.”

“Aw, you know I can’t do that. But I guess congrats on crashing another operation. You’re Worker Bee-3 now. Old habits die hard, huh?” Manny chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess…” Russell replied with a lighthearted chuckle, but his teeth tugged pensively at his lips.

“Great to have you back, brother. Hope this works out for you. See you on the other side, man. Oh, and could you move like three feet to the left and turn the washer off? We can barely hear and see you guys, and Drone-2 just ran out to grab popco–”

“No, absolutely not. Out,” you snapped as you grabbed the radio from Russ. He laughed as you put it furiously back on the desk. You knew what you had signed up for, but you still deserved some privacy. Annoyed, you took off your cross necklace – another bug – and settled down beside him again.

“What did he say when he called you?”

“Nothing much, really. Just told me your coordinates and that you like to pick up your mail at three o’clock at the local post office,” Russell replied.

You shook your head, smiling. “Well, he always loved you, so…” You started to chew on your lower lip, the anxiety in your belly returning. For the sake of your mind and heart, you had to make sure Russell was fully back, and this wasn’t just a fluke. “You know, I worry sometimes that if you don’t face this thing with your family, you’ll always feel this way. I mean, after Lewis was born–”

“I know.” Russell nodded, swallowing thickly. He saw the worry shimmering in your eyes, and it cracked his heart a little. “I know I kinda lost it there. Took me by surprise, too. Trust me. Figured I had dealt with all that shit already, you know? But I guess seeing you with him and feeling all that love myself, I just-… I don’t know. I don’t know how she could do it… Ashton was one thing, but she just stood by. And I don’t even know what the hell she was up to while he took us out into those woods…” He shook his head as if to rattle the answer out of his brain. “And then when we found out you were pregnant again… I mean, I’d barely held it together with Lewis. Everything just became a blur. I couldn’t think straight anymore, and I worried all the time I’d be like them…”

“I tried to help,” you said softly.

“I know you did. Guess this was just something I had to figure out on my own,” he replied with a beat shrug.

“How’s your vision now? Still blurry?”

“Clearer than ever.” A smile flickered alive on his lips, green eyes boring into yours as he leaned in and kissed you slowly like he meant every word. Blowing a raspberry, he then turned his attention to the file in his lap. “So, what am I gonna find in there?”

“Honestly, nothing we haven’t already puzzled together,” you replied, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. “But I found a couple of names associated with your parents. Thought maybe you could look at them and see if you recognize the person you saw in the woods.”

“I already know where this is going…”

“Russ, please, just–”

Russell interrupted you, placing a soothing palm on your thigh that curbed your enthusiasm. “I’ll think about it, alright?”

Satisfied, you raised two placating hands. “All I was asking…”

“How was the lasagna?”

After four hours in the basement, you and Russell quietly treaded up the stairs a few minutes after midnight, finding Colter in the kitchen, eating leftovers out of the ceramic form in the warm glow of the stove light. Tom, on the other hand, had passed out on the couch, only the blue flickers of the TV and the soft noises of a peaceful nature documentary filling the silence of the dark living room.

“Excellent,” Colter stated, swallowing down a mouthful of lasagna before speaking. “I told Tom he should be a chef in a restaurant or something.”

Russell’s brow knitted in doubt. “Really? Lemme try.”

“You just ate two entire bags of junk. You can’t still be hungry,” you argued with a giggle, shaking your head.

“It’s lasagna,” Russell said simply, grabbed a fork from the drawer, and dove right in.

That man would eat anything. You’d seen him do it, too. He didn’t even go hungry when he was lost in a desert.

“Wow, that is good,” Russell announced his judgement with a full mouth. “Maybe we should hire Tom for the brewery, huh?”

“I’m guessing this means you two talked?” Colter asked with a carefully arched brow.

“Hmm. I don’t know,” Russell mused in jest. “What d’you say, sweetheart? You taking me back?”

You rolled your eyes at his antics. “Guess I have to. God knows returning you is impossible.”

Russell laughed and slung an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. He kissed your temple.

But then you noticed Colter’s smile falter, his brows creasing in question. “Is your hair different?”

“Shit!”

Wide-eyed, you bolted back down the creaking stairs to the basement, hearing Russell’s laughter fill the kitchen.

“Was she wearing a wig? And her eyes too, right?” Puzzled, Colter tried to piece it all together. He had already figured by your extensive vocabulary of swear words that you might be a better match for his older brother than he had initially surmised.

“Yup, all fake, man,” Russell confirmed and smirked. “Still think she’s not my type yet?”

“No, I can see it now,” Colter admitted, chuckling. “So, you guys are good?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Russell nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, swallowing.

Colter’s smile widened, filling the older Shaw’s stomach with more guilt. “That’s great. Happy for you, man. Guess that means you’re retiring now, huh?”

Russell scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, we’ll see. Always depends on what the wife decides, you know?”

Yup, he sprinkled that important bit of information into a joke. Then, he watched his little brother take a stumped step back, brow furrowing and unfurrowing and then furrowing again.

“Wha-, wife?”

Russell produced a popping sound with his lips like the noise of a bottle when the cork was pulled. Welp, this bottle was surely open now.

“Yup, got married in Thailand in 2011,” he added another helpful tidbit of information, but Colter’s jaw dislodged all the same.

“Alright, got this all figured out,” you said, sauntering back into the kitchen with a pastel pink towel wrapped around your head and a matching bathrobe. You’d just grabbed them from the dryer, the fluffy material still cozily warm. It was the best option, considering you didn’t want to mess around with your wig as well after popping the lenses back in had already cost you most of your patience. In your little bubble of bliss, you hadn’t instantly noticed the brothers staring at you. But once you did, your brows morphed into a frown. “What’s going on?”

“You two are married?” Colter asked, a pointed finger flicking from Russell to you.

You threw your arms up, looking at your husband. “I was gone for five minutes! What happened to telling him after the operation?”

Russell offered you a sheepish shrug. “Well, this old soldier’s getting weak too, apparently.”

“He said it like a joke…” Colter mumbled, still in the middle of processing this new revelation. His older, estranged-but-now-less-strange brother had a wife. A family. Friends. And he knew none of it. What else was there? Kids?

“Yeah, he does that...” You shot your husband a scolding sideways look. “Should I leave you two alone for this?” you then offered, hoping the answer was a goddamn yes.

“Why would you? You’re family, right?” Colter retorted with a dry smile and a sharp look.

You pursed your lips. While you could see some similarities between the brothers, you took note of one big difference: Russell wasn’t as sarcastic and sharp-tongued. Probably because Russell had always been more concerned with what he should, would, or could share with people in an overthinking loop, while his younger brother seemed obviously free of that burden.

“Don’t take it out on her,” Russell stepped in gently, which really was a warning. “She didn’t know about any of this. Kinda pushed her into it.”

“Seems to be your style,” Colter scoffed.

“Can’t work for the CIA without going through a baptism of fire, little brother,” Russell said simply, giving an unapologetic shrug of his shoulders.

“Why would you not tell me?” Colter stared at him, his look a mix of reproach and agitation.

“Look, you weren’t exactly welcoming during our first meeting,” Russell argued with a bit of bark in his deep voice, although confrontation was probably not the best approach. But why should he always have to take the blame for everything? He’d already done that for more than two decades.

“That was months ago,” Colter countered, scowling. “I’d like to think I’ve come around since then… Coulda told me after we saved Doug.”

Russell let out a small sigh of defeat, rolling his eyes back slightly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, man, alright?” he apologized earnestly.

With a questioning brow, you carefully nudged your husband’s arm. “What happened to Doug? Is he alright?”

“Yeah, uh, he went to work for Horizon with me. I’ll tell you later, okay?” Russell replied, his voice a lot quieter as if sharing a secret, and if Horizon was involved he probably was.

“Is Tracy okay?”

“She’s fine. Little shook up. You should probably give her a call. Smooth things out,” Russell told you.

Tracy thought you worked in marketing at some company for the government. Whenever you, Russell, and Doug were stuck on a mission, the boys made you call her to “smooth things out” – aka reassuring her everything was certainly fine with her husband and he wasn't in any danger at all. They’d once made you call her from a Black Hawk. The noise had been fun to explain away – you’d told her you were picking up a client from a helicopter pad.

Colter chewed on the insides of his cheeks. “So she knows Doug, too?”

Russell nodded. “Yeah, me and Doug were mostly Delta, but SAD liked to borrow us from time to time. We ran in her team for quite a while. She was actually the one who recruited me.”

At his little wink your way, you smiled. He’d come along way from the sweet boy you had once teased like a special-forces-trained kindergartner.

“Listen, things were obviously a little complicated between me and her the last few years,” Russell (under)stated. “But I’ve brought you here for a reason, okay? Figured it’s time you meet your sister-in-law.”

Eyes drifting from you to Russell, Colter pursed his lips – a tell he shared with his brother.

“Are you mad? I can’t tell.” Frowning, Russell tilted his head.

“No,” you absentmindedly replied for Colter, who gave you a curious look but steered his attention back to Russell.

“No,” the younger Shaw repeated your assumption. “I mean, not more than I was before, you know?”

Russell’s creases only deepened. “No, I don’t know.”

“He means he’s indifferent about knowing or not knowing we’re married because he’s already pissed about not knowing about my existence in general,” you explained.

“Ah. Your nerd is showing, sweetheart,” Russell teased you with a smile that made your heart melt.

“Dory would like her,” Colter commented like the thought had just popped into his head – something else he didn’t share with his brother.

You’d always wondered about the youngest Shaw of the three. Russell could never tell you much about Dory. His memory had been one of a smart and feisty nine-year-old, not a young woman and physics professor.

Thumbing at you, Russell cocked a brow at his brother. “Is she right, though?”

“Spot on, actually.” Colter’s tongue poked his cheek, his gaze flickering with a hint of astonishment and new-found respect for you. “And I guess I’m not really mad either way. Just… surprising, you know? I should’ve asked. That’s on me.”

Russell seemed more than a little baffled to hear this, considering he had to pause to find an appropriate response. “No, uh, we’re good. I could’ve just told you, anyways.”

“Yeah, no, that’s alright.” Colter swallowed, sending his older brother a smile of forgiveness. “Honestly, I was glad to hear you weren’t alone all this time, so…”

Russell’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he pushed down the lump in his throat. With a nod, he averted his green eyes to the kitchen floor. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”

“Aw, aren’t you guys adorable,” you teased.

Colter wanted to retort something dry-witted, but Russell held up a warning finger. “Ah – wait for it… Trust me. She’s not done.”

“You girls need tissues or a tampon, maybe?”

“Oh, Dory would definitely like her,” Colter repeated his earlier statement with an amused grin.

Russell, on the other hand, shot you a pointed look, but that had barely ever stopped you before. “Okay, you can lay down. You don’t have to give him the initiation. No hazing my little brother,” he ordered you sternly, and you stifled a snort. “And no one better kidnaps him tonight and puts a bag over his head, alright? I don’t wanna pick him up beaten and bloody from some warehouse tomorrow morning.”

“Hm, what?” Colter’s brow furrowed. For the first time, you could see slight panic spread in his pupils.

Who was hazing who now?

You rolled your eyes in feigned annoyance. “Fine, we’ll leave him alone,” you acted your capitulation.

The younger Shaw blinked at you. “Thank you?”

“Should we at least tell him about the other thing while we’re at it?” you asked Russell with a suggestive look.

Thoughtfully, he paused for a beat, then clicked his tongue. “No, I got it from here. It’s getting late. We’ve been here long enough,” he decided. “This is less becoming a friendly ‘welcome-to -the-neighborhood’ dinner and more starting to look like an orgy to the neighbors. Especially since you’ve put on the robe.”

“It just came from the dryer. Look, it’s so soft and warm,” you argued, pouting, your palms caressing the fluffy material on your arms.

“Uh-huh.”

The little bob of his Adam’s apple made you grin slyly. The way his jaw ticked and his pupils widened with a primal hunger, you could tell he wanted to tear that robe right off of you. The thought caused a shudder to run down your spine.

“What, uh, other thing do you have to tell me?” Colter asked and smiled expectantly, tapping his fingers on the the counter.

Russell, however, grabbed his arm and dragged his curious little brother toward the exit. “I’ll tell you in the car,” he said and thumbed to the front door behind his shoulder. “Wait outside. Gimme five minutes, alright?”

Wordlessly, Colter nodded without argument, gave you a quick goodbye-wave of his hand, and strolled leisurely back to his car as if he knew exactly what his older brother intended to do.

As expected, Russell impatiently conquered your lips, roughly pressing you against the foyer’s wall, your arms draping around his neck.

“What’s the bedroom situation in this place?” he asked between kisses.

“First floor, west side, third window from the right. I’ll leave it unlatched,” you replied, smiling against his lips. “Tom’s always sleeping on the couch. Part of our cover is going to marriage counseling with Pastor Jeff, which happens to work out great for us.”

You exhaled a shuddered breath when one of his hands wandered past the robe and splayed warm against your ribcage, just underneath your breast. His thumb fought an itch to get closer.

“Wouldn’t do that, baby,” you murmured into his ear with an amused smirk. “That boner’s not gonna go away in five minutes.”

“Mmm, I know,” he groaned and dropped his head between your boobs, lips pressing a chaste kiss to your collarbone. If he continued on with this, your arousal would surely streak down your bare thighs soon. Luckily, he had mercy on the both of you. “I’ll talk to him and then come back, okay?”

You nodded with a smile. He kissed your lips, then your forehead, and then disappeared through the door with the same cometary velocity he had entered your vision.

And all you could do was hope you’d see him one more time in your life.

“So?”

4.3 seconds after Colter killed the engine of his pickup in a spot a block away to the west side of your house – as per Russell’s very specific instruction – he stared scrutinizingly at his older brother.

Impatience was also a family trait – one even their father had despised.

“Look, uhm, there’s no easy way to break the news…”

“Is this about you having two kids?”

When Russell’s eyes met Colter’s, he didn’t recognize any anger, hurt or resentment in them – just pure slyness. At least that was good news. His little brother was just going to be annoying about this whole thing.

“Yeah, remember those five minutes you left me alone in the car? I called Bobby. Had him check some things out for me. Wasn’t easy to find. I’ll give you that…”

As expected, Colter was going to be a smartass about it. He figured it out on his own. He won the game.

“Hmm.” Russell pursed his lips, nodding. “You do know the CIA is on your guy’s ass now, right? Shouldn’t have done it in their perimeter, man. Manny’s probably all over this by now…”

Then his brow knit as if the thought of his old friend had provoked an idea, his head tilting with narrowed eyes at the air vents on the dashboard. How long had that car been parked outside and out of sight again?

Like a game of Operation, Russell then used thumb and pointer finger as his tweezers to retrieve a tiny bug – the spy kind.

“Gotcha,” Russell muttered, smirking. He then held the bug close to the speakers of the radio before turning up the volume to its highest setting – only for a second. He switched the radio off, rolled down the window, and threw the unwanted listening device onto the pavement. “That should teach ‘em a lesson…”

Colter cocked an incredulous brow at his brother. “They bugged my car?”

“Oh, trust me, they bug anything they can get their greedy little hands on,” Russell retorted. “Would probably check for a tracker underneath, too.”

“Great, thanks,” Colter huffed wryly.

“Hey, you wanted in. That’s what they do,” Russell reminded him, shrugging, but there was a smile of amusement on his lips.

Colter only bobbed his head. “So, you and her? You guys are good now? Just like that? Seemed… easy. Sorta…”

Russell chuckled lightly, brushing a hand through his beard. He knew his relationship with you was unconventional, but it had always worked for you and him.

“Me and Y/N have a deal, you know? It’s not all black and white. I mean, we became aware a long time ago that the two of us operate in a lot of gray zones. But, uh, we always know we can rely on each other, you know? Doesn’t matter if we’ve been separated by time or space,” Russell explained to the best of his abilities.

“So what happened?” Colter prompted with the same amount of confusion. “Why did you guys split up? I saw on the birth certificate your daughter was only two years old. I mean, did you-… did you even know?”

Russell inhaled deeply, nodding. “I knew she was pregnant. When she told me back then, I-…” He paused, licking his lips. It wasn’t something he had ever talked about with anyone before – not even you. “Well, shortly after that, I had a breakdown and I-… I almost hurt her.” He choked on the words, fighting the sting in his eyes.

He’d tried so hard to forget, wasn’t even sure he had ever really apologized for it to you because he so badly didn’t want it to exist that he’d tried to wish it out of literal existence, and hence, never really blamed you for leaving like you did. He understood. In fact, he had even wished you’d leave. He had convinced himself you’d be better off without him – something he still believed to be true – but he also knew he wasn’t better off without you.

He’d been lost and alone. And maybe, he was being selfish by crashing back into your life now. Or Dory’s. And Colter’s.

“I mean, nothing ever really bad happened. It’s just-… That night I came scarily close,” Russell confessed, swallowing thickly. He still hated himself for that night and everything that followed. “It’s like a switch flipped, you know? I couldn’t do anything against it… And Lewis saw parts of it, and I was already impatient with him and short with her the weeks before, so I just left that night and disappeared for two months. Volunteered for some mission. Figured it was best for everybody.”

It’s better off if he never comes back…

Russell licked his chapped lips. The next part was the hardest.

“When I got back, she told me she got a job offer in another country, and that she would be taking it and taking Lewis with her. She wanted me to use the time to… I don’t know… solve this, I guess.” He let out a humorless scoff at the painful memory.

Russell hadn’t seen it at first, maybe because he hadn’t wanted to, his anger and pain blurring the truth. After his son had been born, Russell knew you could see him struggling, so you started digging deeper into his family and what really happened. And when you’d found something – Horizon – you’d told him you could infiltrate. Naturally, Russell had passed a hard no – it had been a five-hour long fight, but he'd emerged victoriously by the end. So, you’d told him he should do it, but he didn’t want to leave you, and he didn’t want to endanger and jeopardize his family.

He’d told he was fine, but he wasn’t. It kept gnawing on him – and gnawing and gnawing and gnawing… till you eventually pulled the plug and ended his suffering.

“I was exhausted, so I told her we’d talk about it in the morning. When I woke up, they were gone. Didn’t even notice she’d already packed.”

Colter was silent for a beat. “Was it PTSD or something?”

“Or somethin’,” replied Russell.

“But you’re good now?” Colter checked with a warily raised brow.

“Guess so…”

Truthfully, Russell didn’t know if he was or wasn’t. He’d tried hard to figure out what it was exactly that had set him off that night and fix it, but he didn’t know if that feeling would ever disappear for good. He just knew he had never felt that way again since then. But could he guarantee it would never come back?

He didn’t know.

“Look, all I know is, seeing you and Dory again helped, so…” Russell twitched his shoulders and sighed. He didn’t know what else to say, how to explain it better, but Colter seemed to understand anyway, reading between the lines.

Russell worried he’d be like their father.

“I think I get it.” The younger Shaw nodded and licked his lips. “You know, you’re not crazy like Dad was, Russ. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re crazy in your own way, but I wouldn’t worry about the other stuff.”

“Well, thanks,” Russell said, not convinced but appreciative of the vote of confidence. “Makes at least one of us…”

“I-, uh, I noticed their names,” Colter then said and clarified, “Lewis and Amelia. Like explorers. Like us.”

“Ah.” Russell smacked his lips and brushed it off, “Wasn’t really my idea. I told Y/N that story once. Guess she took a liking to it..”

“Are you, you know, gonna tell Mom?”

Russell was almost surprised by the question. The brothers had barely talked about their mother since they’d reconnected. Considering Colter had never brought her up again after their first meeting, Russell figured there was a reason for that – and he thought he probably knew the reason, too.

Russell scoffed a chuckle and looked at his little brother with an almost incredulous look. “I think you can guess the answer to that one,” he replied and figured it said enough. “Did you tell her I came back?”

Colter pursed his lips, and Russell took it as a sign of admission. So his mother knew. Great…

“Sorta,” Colter admitted hesitantly.

“What d’she say?” Russell almost smiled out of amusement. He already knew the answer, but his brother still seemed reluctant. “C’mon, you can tell me. I’m not gonna be butthurt after twenty years…”

“She told me to ignore you,” Colter finally confessed, but the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. They had ever since his mother said them, but even more so now that he knew his brother – and parts of the truth.

“Hmm,” Russell hummed with tight lips and ground his jaw.

Granted, the confession stung more than Russell would ever be willing to admit. The tiny, naive part inside of him had constructed a hopeless fantasy of his mother having a sudden change of heart over the last two decades and happily welcoming her firstborn back. Apparently, not a thing had changed, though, and he cursed himself for feeling disheartened.

“But I actually haven’t talked to her in a while now,” Colter added with a small shrug, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Huh, really?”

“Yeah, uh, and when I did, I didn’t exactly tell her I didn’t take her advice, you know? So…”

“Why not?” Russell’s brow furrowed a little more as he analyzed each word, simultaneously realizing why he had been so reluctant to share his life with Colter before – his subconscious had been afraid his alienated little brother would report back to the mothership.

Colter’s lips pursed. “Because I disagree.”

“Ah.”

Colter chewed on his lower lip. “Look, I know you and Dory wanna keep all of this in the past and play family – and trust me, I want that too,” he assured, but his heart was beating fast in his chest. “But I need to know, man. I need to know why she lied about this for twenty years and, you know, did all of this,” he insisted, and yet, Russell could tell he wasn’t done. He might have broken the dam. “She did it to you. I mean, aren’t you mad?”

“Of course I’m mad,” the older Shaw admitted, but there was no fire behind his words.

“Then why are you so calm?”

Amused, Russell chuckled, shrugging. “Probably ‘cause I’ve been dealing with this a lot longer than you, little brother.”

“So, what are we gonna do now?”

“We ain’t gonna do anything,” Russell clarified, his voice stern. He’d die to protect his family, you and the kids, and do anything in his power to keep you out of it, but Colter was a grown-up – a free agent. If he didn’t want to listen, Russell couldn’t force him. “Look, you wanna find out, you go find out. And if you do find something and need help, you call. But I can’t be involved in this,” he explained, his firm expression morphing into something more vulnerable and sincere. “And frankly, I don’t care that much. You, me, Dory, Y/N, the kids – that’s all that matters, trust me. You’re not gonna feel better or more… whole after finding those answers.”

“How do you know? Do you know what really happened?” Colter instantly asked, and Russell knew in that moment, it’d be hopeless. His brother wouldn’t stop till he found it – forever restless.

“No, I told you. I don’t,” Russell repeated, and while he didn’t know everything, he omitted that he knew something.

“What about Y/N?”

Russell froze at the bare mention of your name, his protective instincts kicking in. “Leave her out of this,” he all but snarled.

But Colter didn’t think about stopping. “Did you ever ask her? I mean, she’s CIA. She could probably find out something, right?”

“Yeah, I asked her once, alright? Was a long time ago,” Russell admitted, sighing. The intended lie would stick better if there was some truth to it – you had taught him that.

“C’mon, Russ… And?” Colter impatiently threw his arms up, brow raising higher and higher as he waited for an answer.

“She never found anything,” Russell said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

This time, it wasn’t just an omission. It was a blatant lie.

“I think whatever Dad was involved in – or both of ‘em – was just some activist shit. I don’t think the government cares.” Lie. “We both know he had a mental thing. Paranoid, probably schizophrenic… I mean, Mom used to pump him full of meds sometimes when he got too out of hand.” Truth. He then stole a glance at his little brother and saw the confusion shimmering on his face. Russell scoffed. “You didn’t know that, did you?”

Quietly, Colter shook his head.

“Well, you were a kid,” Russell said and hoped it would curb the blow slightly, although he knew better than that. “He always took something as far back as I can remember. She used to prepare his pills every evening after you and Dory went to bed. But when we moved to the cabin, he started refusing to take them. Said they made him ‘not clear-headed enough.’ Kinda ironic,” he shared and snorted. “When it got too bad, though, she’d still crush ‘em into his food.”

Colter took everything in with a nod but didn’t say anything more.

“You good over there?” Russell checked after a full minute had passed.

“Yeah,” Colter said and even tried to form a reassuring smile before the attempt failed. Instead, he swallowed. “Just a lot, you know? I didn’t know. I mean, I had some idea, but not-… not that.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Russell said, his voice almost a whisper in the silence of the night. “Like I said, you were a kid…”

When Russell finally left the car to sneak back to you, his shoulders felt a little lighter and his heart a little calmer. He might just float through that unlatched window tonight.

The bad news was, though, he might not be able to retire just yet.

Part 5: This Is a Start

Honestly, I should've called this chapter "Heart-to-Heart Part II" 😂 I'll see you for the finale next week, but as you know, it's not the end for them – only just the beginning 😉

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[qoldenskies]

currently thinking about the cc parallel with donnie waking up in both the lair and april’s place with it quiet, (if i recall right) sounds of water dripping, sunlight illuminating someone in the kitchen

i like the repeated motif of waking up alone ,,, feeling left behind in the dark ,,, especially with how it comes up in cw with leo waking up to donnie gone. how for all three instances it was meant to indicate the beginning of the end, all in a different way

[all-doggirls-go-to-heaven-2]

The thing is that writing transfem first date advice is not that hard. Like. I feel like there are a couple of things to watch out for because of our condition as a social group but its not that deep.

Like, really, it comes down to three or four things.

First: Take initiative because she will often feel pressured to/uncomfortable with being the one to do it. We're pressured since we're young into that role and it can feel suffocating, plus with the ever-growing paranoia abt every trans women being a predator, there's a fear of crossing a line (especially when it's the first time meeting someone)

Second: Transfems are usually pretty socially isolated, either in past or present, so there will be niche hobbies and interests. Listen to what she has to say abt it and gauge if it matches to your tastes, because if you want this to not be just a hook up the topic will come up again and its not gonna go great when on date number 3 you forget completely what she told you abt her favorite show. These things are important for many of us because its what allowed us to survive isolatiom at times.

Third: be assertive. Way too many ppl I went out with thought I was nice and cool and interesting but were so scared to touch me, so scared to take a pass at me, that it just feels. Awkward and like your body is this weird alien thing. This is a date like every other right? So touch her. Really do it. Make sure to let them know that you are going to put your hands on them On Purpose.

Like apart from that? Genuinely? Use common sense. None of that "dont touch her tits/touch her tits" like. Talk to her how she feels abt her body if it feels like that question would come up (maybe shes early transition, maybe shes anxious, maybe shes inexperienced), but if you're going out with a girl 8 years into transition its unlikely shes going to have the same level of hangups as someone who just got started in this "being trans" thing. But you are unfortunstely gonna have to be the judge on that because everybody has a diff body.

Its not that hard man. Like yes i feel like there is a place for a well-meaning "hey how do you date trans women" but unfortunately men keep fucking it up so its up to a lesbian to try and explain how you dorks should talk to women

[luludeluluramblings]

Bruce Wayne’s Obsession with Smalltown!Reader (Alfred included)

A/N: So I just thought I’d throw this out there. Speak it into existence. Everything is liable to future editing, just a heads up. But, I’ll probably do this after each character falls into obsession. Help with writer’s block when it strikes or when motivation leaves.

Link to Revised Version

Warning(s): Yandere themes, Obsessive behavior

Bruce is already obsessed with Reader.

That was his baby. He knew about them first and only gave them up because he couldn’t be Batman with a newborn.

Plus, Momma wasn’t one of the worst women he dated.

Yes, she was petty, keeping Reader selfishly and never sharing Reader with Bruce. But, she loved Reader, was mentally stable, and she was not some uptight socialite.

(Bruce considered proposing to her after he found out about Reader, but tossed that idea to the side once he realized that wasn’t rational.)

Bruce is mostly struggling with his jealously over a dead man.

Daddy.

Bruce wants what he had with Reader. Wants that bond so desperately.

That unconditional love and respect a child has for their parent.

Totally missing the fact that he avoids Reader because he can’t stand the thought of Batman tainting them, therefore neglecting that bond he desperately craves.

In fact, when Jason died, Reader was part of the reason he kept being Batman.

He deluded himself into thinking he was making Gotham safer for Reader. (Gotham is too dangerous. And, after Jason ‘died’, Bruce couldn’t stand the thought of Reader suffering the same fate.)

Bruce would indulge in his obsession, occasionally out of paranoia.

Once a year, specifically on Reader’s birthday, he would go full throttle detective stalker mode on Reader’s life.

Every social media post, search history, school records, medical records, etc.

For one day a year he would hunt everything digital or printed desperate to know his child and make sure they were safe.

And after, he’d delete everything from the hardware on the BatComputer.

He wouldn’t save anything out of fear that someone could discover something about Reader.

Someone could hack his computers. There could be no links that would connect Reader to him, and especially not to Batman.

Alfred would encourage this occasionally indulgence. Bruce would verbally share and show Alfred everything before erasing it.

Alfred cares deeply for Reader.

To him, Reader is the part of his family that heals the old wounds and the loss. Seeing them thrive, even at a distance, fills him with hope and relief.

Now, when Reader’s parents died Bruce’s (and Alfred’s) first thought was not that he finally had a chance to have Reader to himself.

It definitely was the second, though.

Bruce feels even more connected to Reader, because they both lost loving parents.

But, Bruce is so damn jealous of one of those dead parents.

Bruce also is trying to help Reader fit in with the Gotham elite, since it seems like Reader wants that based off of their Gotham Academy friends.

Buying couture designer clothing, a fancy car, and other little things.

Don’t worry though, he realizes that’s not how it works.

It’s not like Reader’s going to have those friends for much longer anyway.

[sinstear]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ— IN YOUR ARMS, WHERE IT’S SAFE.

been thinking a little too much about abby after santa barbara. a once confident, brutal yet adventurous and tactical woman who didn’t let anyone get in her way, to a reserved shell that flinched or panicked whenever something bad happened around her. how her only thought is to make sure lev is safe and protected from the world they’re running from. every night that she goes out to look for extra supplies has her paranoia heightened, making sure to look over her shoulder every step she takes, not wanting to take any chances.

those late nights that she goes without lev to find more food, extra supplies, leaving them back at the small shack they called home, alone, plays on her mind the entire time. worried and anxious if she made the best decision to go by herself, but the other part of her brain didn’t want her to stress so much, she had food and drink to find, to make sure neither of them got sick, to never have that fear or feeling of dying again. 

the place is empty. quite. once, that much quietness had abby on high alert, looking around for any sign of danger, but now? now she was rushing, pushing herself to just find what she came here for. she tries to ignore the way her brain already wants to leave, and keeps pushing herself forward. she promised lev she would be back with food, or at least something for them to eat, and she wasn’t about to break that promise because of her high paranoia. she’s not by herself anymore.

the store clearly had been ransacked hours before, but abby was used to doing patrols and going out for extra supplies, so she knows there is always something left on the shelves, in the drawers, or even tucked away hidden. wiping her forehead with her arm, abby slowly makes her way around the isles while trying to make as quiet of sounds as she possibly could. she didn’t really prepare herself like she would have done years ago, maybe that’s her own fault, but right now getting back to lev alive and well was the second thing on her mind. finding something to eat was the first. 

her stomach grumbled at the singular thought of eating something that wasn’t bread she found a few days ago and sighed softly at the sight of a couple tinned food cans on the shelf near one of the back exit doors. thankful that whoever was here, was in a rush to get what they could to not realize they had practically saved her night by leaving behind a little something that is good enough for lev to eat.

her feet carry her slowly, she’s tired, she’s been walking around for a good few hours to find a place, and now that she’s found one, she can feel the exhaustion in her body. the ache in her bones and muscles that haven’t gone away in months. one good nights rest is all she asks for, but will she ever get that? will there be a day where she doesn’t have to look over her shoulder, and relax? even she doesn’t know.

by the time she gets to where she wants, abby doesn’t have enough time to react, she just cowers away into herself when another hand touches hers abruptly, which were reaching for the same canned food she spotted. those eyes go wide when she notices a woman looking at her, then the food and then back at abby with a small curve in her lips. “sorry, was in my own world then, did you want it?”

nothing seems to come out her mouth as she just stares. slightly scared, and the rest of her somewhat calm. she doesn’t know why, but she was.

“didn’t mean to scare you,” they whispered, offering their name which causes abby to relax enough that she can put her arms back down, stop protecting herself to respond with her name.

“abby.”

“s’pretty name. abby” you test out her name, another smile appearing on your face as you do. “nice to meet you,” you lift your hand out towards her and you feel your heart break when she flinches back away from you. “oh, no, i won’t hurt you,” you frowned, shaking your head sadly.

abby’s at a loss for words, really, she doesn’t know what to say or do while you look at her with such a soft look that makes her feel like she is going to explode from how gentle you were, and how slow you approached her. “i promise, if you need the food, it’s yours” you offered again, holding the canned food out for her.

“you got it first,” was the second thing that came out her mouth. looking at you, analyzing you silently.

“are you here alone?”

“i have lev at,” she paused, eyebrows furrowed in a tight frown. “at home. so i’m just trying to find something for them to eat”

“would you,” it was your turn to stumble over your words as she wiped her face again, huffing at herself softly. “want to stay with me? i have warm water, you could have a shower, it’s hard to find that lately, i can make you something to eat. i have a room you can sleep in, if you want. you don’t have to, i would just feel safer knowing you are safe” you rambled, waving your hands around.

the blonde is at a loss for words again, she’s met a few groups of people since that night, but none of them had ever offered to help her and lev. let alone offer to let them both stay in their house, and you could tell she was fighting with herself at the sudden stare she was giving you. more confused and terrified this time. “i can’t ask you to do that. we will be okay”

“you’re not asking me, m’offering you to stay with me. for however long you want. there’s no pressure, but company is always nice. i would really like company, especially when finding that company is really hard now”

“i- we would have to go back home, and get lev first, and make sure they are comfortable staying with you. i’m fine with it, but i’m all they have left. we are all each other have now”

abby’s heart thumps in her chest at your sudden bright smile, and nodded up at her. “s’okay, there’s no rush. as long as you are both comfortable with it. oh, your food!” you laughed, looking away as your face heated up. “please take it, you had it first”

“you had it first, actually.” abby laughed softly.

the sound had your heart thumping loudly in your chest this time.

taking the tins from your hands carefully, abby finds herself blushing as your fingers graze hers before pulling away just as quickly with a clear of her throat. “shall, shall we go?”

“lead the way, abby”

your house wasn’t one that she assumed you would live in. she expected something small, or tiny, not a complete farmhouse. and you offered to let her and lev stay here? after quickly agreeing, saying where they lived was too small for the pair of them, and multiple panics about abby taking a little longer than usual, the blonde reassured she would always come back and this was a chance to change their life. have something they haven’t had in a while. comfort and safety.

abby’s cautious of when she steps foot in the small home that you’ve made for yourself. her once bright eyes, now almost lifeless, bore into everything. silently making sure nothing is going to pop out and hurt lev here. when you notice the worried look on her face, you take a small step towards her, a soft smile on your lips and you simply hold your hand out for her. “i won’t hurt you, i promise” you assure her, even though you don’t have to. you’ve already been good enough to let her and lev stay here, so she just nodded at you, looking at your hand before holding hers out for you. slightly flinching when you hold onto hers softly. “it’s okay,” you smiled again. your smile suddenly becomes her favorite sight.

even after you’ve made something for them to eat, she watches you closely, especially with the way you rub lev’s shoulder when you place both bowls of stew on the table and that if there is anything else they want to eat or need, just tell you and you will gladly make it or get it for them. she still watches you when you make your way into the kitchen. and there’s a sudden drop in her stomach upon hearing the latch of the back door opening that has her bolting off her chair, looking for you with wide eyes.

“hey, i was just going to— abby? what’s wrong?” you frowned in your spot, noticing her now sweating and crimson face looking down at you. “hey,”

“where are you going?” she found herself asking, a little too rushed for her liking.

“i’m just going out to hang the laundry,” you smiled tiredly, chewing your bottom lip gently. “m’not going anywhere. do you want to come with me? lev is happily eating in the living room, so you’re more than welcome to join me. you are a little taller than me so, you can hang up some stuff for me”

abby doesn’t hesitate to agree. her sudden urge to be around you constantly peaks through as she turns around a final time to just check on lev, who was reading one of the books you left out and eating away at their food. with a final nod to herself, abby rushes herself through the small kitchen and through the back door, where she finds you already hanging up some of the cleaned clothes with that soft smile still on your face.

“need help?” abby finds herself smiling this time. a real one.

“always. get over here”

the blonde already knew she could trust you. just by how gentle you were with her. not pushing her to talk about something you knew was making her uncomfortable. you didn’t ask about the scars on her arms when you saw them, you just simply pressed a soft kiss to the ones on her hands and continued your task. she asked you about your life, and how you got here, which you gladly shared. with each word you gave, it drove her closer to you. she continuously found herself not even doing what you asked her and simply watched the way you spoke, the way your eyes lit up at the mention of something you loved doing, or how you spoke with your hands at times.

you still noticed the way she would cower away or flinch you when touched her as the night came and the stars shone in the sky, or a loud noise rang out but for the most part, abby apologized and said it wasn’t you, it was trauma that she’s been dealing with, still dealing with and you constantly reassured her that it was okay. she doesn’t need to apologies for being jumpy with certain things. the one time she let you touch her without flinching, was when she dropped the laundry basket because you had slammed one of the chicken cages shut, and rushed towards her and held her hand tightly, without another thought you rubbed the back of her neck comfortingly and and smiled against her temple. assuring her that everything was okay.  

that same night, when lev is finally at peace and can get a good rest, she is the one who can’t fall asleep, like usual, she finds herself knocking on your bedroom door, thanks to the soft bed lamp shining under it. stumbling and blushing once you yell a soft ‘come in’ and she finds you curled up on your bed, reading a book. “you okay?” you ask, closing the book, leaning over to your side table and placing it down carefully before looking over at her again. “can’t sleep?”

“no,” abby pauses, chewing on her bottom lip harshly. “can i stay in here with you?”

“of course, come here”

and she could cry at how you open your arms for her.

the second she practically slumps her body on yours, and you rest one of your hands on her back, and the other instantly goes to her hair, she breaks. quiet and reserved abby cries in your arms when you, the first person to see her like this, thread your fingers through her hair, whispering against her forehead how she’s still so effortlessly beautiful. she doesn’t say anything though, she doesn’t have to, she just lets you comfortingly scratch her scalp at crazy hours of the night because you know she’s struggling to fall asleep peacefully.

“m’not gonna let anything or anyone hurt you ever again, okay?” you promised. hand slowly rubbing comforting circles on her back under her bed shirt. “you’re both safe here. i promise to protect you both with my life. you are safe, everything is okay”

for the first time in years, abby could finally close her eyes that night. both her and lev were safe. the safest she’s felt in a long time. because with your arms around her, and lips against her forehead in a hushed promise that you were here for her, she felt better. she felt content. she felt at home. 

your promise of protection meant more to her than she could ever tell or show you.

[pixelsandpins]

On Eddie's and Venom's Children/Offspring

As a local Venom Expert (TM), let me explain this very important bit of Venom lore.

Venom's species, the Klyntar, reproduce asexually. They spawn "once a generation", feel a threat to the hive, or otherwise feel as though they need to increase their numbers due to an upcoming catastrophe (the comics have wiggled this reasoning a little through the years).

Venom has produced seven spawn: Carnage, Scream, Agony, Lasher, Phage, Riot, and Sleeper.

They also have a son together with Anne named Dylan.

Carnage spawned while Eddie was locked up in prison with Cletus Kassady. The spawn occurred during their jailbreak, and Eddie had no idea it was even happening. The other doesn't tell him. Everyone is a bit surprised. All this is revealed in The Amazing Spider-Man #360-362 (1992)

*****

The Life Foundation Symbiotes (Scream, Agony, Lasher, Riot, and Phage) were artificially gestated by the Life Foundation. They captured Eddie and Venom and pulled "seeds" from Venom's body, then grew the spawn in another part of the facility. This is Lethal Protector #4 (1993).

*****

Sleeper is, first of all, the fucking GOAT. Let's get that out of the way. Sleeper is spawned "naturally" however this occurs well after Eddie and Venom have properly bonded and gone through the trauma of having seeds stolen. Eddie, then, senses the birth approaching and feels child-birth related pain. They actually separate during the birth because they're concerned about Eddie's organs shutting down. The symbiote, unfortunately, delivers what they believe to be a stillbirth (this is written SUPER weird in the comics themselves, tbh). The conversation around this birth reveals a lot of complex feelings on Venom's part around their "babies." This happens in Venom #164-165 (2016-2018) which are the last two issues of the Costa run.

Sleeper comes into their own during Venom: First Host (Costa, 2018). Venom is kidnapped, and for the rescue mission Sleeper bonds with Eddie. Previous to this, Sleeper had been tended to regularly by Eddie and Venom together while living in an Alchemex facility.

*****

Dylan Brock is a sight bit more complicated. He's introduced during the Cates run, 2018, and proceeds to be a main character and major narrative pivot for both that run and the current Ewing run (featuring the Venom War event).

SPOILERS FOR CURRENT VENOM

Dylan is the human incarnation of the symbiote codex embedded into Anne. She conceived the child while bonded to the Venom symbiote using DNA transferred over from Eddie (via the symbiote). She had Dylan, then left him to be raised by Eddie's dad, which is where Eddie meets him. So Dylan is the combined child of Eddie, Anne, and Venom, designed by the symbiotes to take out Knull. Dylan's story is still developing and changing.

Edited to add in response to a comment:

Ignore if you want to develop your own interpretation of events around the birth of Dylan Brock. CW: conversation around suicide and mental health

Anne commits suicide not long after leaving Dylan with Eddie's dad. The suicide was written back in the 90s, however, well before any of this newer narrative was conceived. When she's first written as ending her life, it's because she can't live with the guilt of the murders she committed while hosting Venom and experiences an extreme fear and paranoia reaction to symbiotes (rightly so).

When Cates added Dylan, this all got WAY more complicated in terms of determining narrative intent. Namely, was the conception and birth of Dylan a contributing factor to her suicide?

When they do the multiverse thing, they meet an Anne who was the permanent host of Venom because Eddie successfully committed his own suicide. She does not go through the same acute traumatic event that Anne Prime did. When she realizes she's pregnant with Venom's baby, she has a very neutral-positive reaction to it. Even after the introduction of Dylan, the story only ever attributes Anne's suicide to guilt over the murders she commits and subsequent mental break.

When she leaves Dylan with Brock Sr., it's clear she deeply cares for him, yet can't take care of him. She says she'll come back for him when she gets her head right, and does not want Eddie ever knowing Dylan exists. She didn't leave Dylan in a safe baby box or a dumpster or just in his crib while she ended her life. Even though she didn't pick the best caregiver, she left Dylan in a place she knew she could come back to. Where she could see him again. Where he wouldn't be lost in the system. This all implies to me a woman who loved her baby. Who, in some part of her, thought she would come back to get him but unfortunately succumbed to her mental health crisis.

This altogether, the story does not want you to see Dylan's conception and birth as a contributing factor to her suicide. He never shoulders that narrative responsibility. The story wants you to "blame," so to speak, the guilt and paranoia.

This is all analysis, however, and that's going to be heavily influenced by personal interpretation, experiences, and familiarity with the canon. This is the reason why I didn't include it in the original informative section of the post. I didn't want to create bias in a new reader, so I was trying to keep things as neutral as possible (except for Sleeper being The Best. That's simply a FACT /j). But I figured including the additional analysis would create some clarification on a very complex narrative event.

Now I hope that covers enough. Feel free to ask questions or get clarification on anything. I'm literally wallowing in information and no one to share it with.

[damnfeelings09]

Animals - Shadow's version

A.N: hey! I'm off to vacation for 5 days so I'm giving you two chapters, I already know how this au is going to end and I'm hoping I can come back to the regular one shots after that, also anybody here likes Leon Kennedy? My man fine and I've been thinkging about adding some storyes tho Shadow is still my main man. RED for stalker, GREEN for you.

Special mention to @animegoddess15 hope you like it! Remember to always check you locked your door twice.

Ever since then, not a single day went by that you don't get a text with those same two words. Every once in a while, a picture of you would be attached to the message praising how beautiful you were, saying all the dirty things he'll do to you. Fear took the better of you, you could no longer walk without looking back every 10 seconds, afraid to close the doors, and to walk home alone. Paranoia had become a shadow over your shoulders.

Pretending that everything was fine had always been your superpower, but between the messages, the school pressure, pretending that Shadow was something more than your classmate and the constant fights with Mailo caused by that, the exhaustion was getting the better of you and it was noticeable in the way you kept frowning, the constant zoone outs during class, the lack of participation. The stiffness in your shoulders and neck was killing you slowly.

“Wow bunny, it wouldn't hurt to relax” His hands gently caressed your skin, massaging your muscles trying to relieve the tension, while you kept your attention fixed on the Surgery questionnaire.

“Get your fucking paws out of her” hissed Mailo. He didn't understand why Shadow was always with you now, he wasn't your friend, he was a bully and had been for a long time. Why would you let him be with you? Why were you so close to him lately? Why would you let him touch you? Why would you want to stain your smooth, pure skin with the filthy paws of an animal? Mailo was annoyed and Shadow was enjoying it, you could tell by the way he nuzzled your neck and pulled his chest a little closer to your back until you were fully lying on top of him. “Are you deaf of something? I said don’t touch her”

“Sorry, too busy pleasing my girl”. - pronounced Shadow with a cocky grin on his face.

“Your girl?” the tension palpable between them both, good thing you were too focused or you'd have noticed the threat in his tone as his eye twitched.

She's mine

“Like I said my gi-“

“Would you please stop! I'm trying to concentrate” you said cutting him off as you got up from your place and put your stuff in your backpack. The noise in your head was already enough for you to have to put up with their egos fighting. “If you want to play whose dick is bigger that's fine, just leave me out of it.”

They both looked at you in shock as you walked to your Surgery class, praying that the little time you had to go over the questions would be enough to remember everything and pass the midterm exam.

“Mine's bigger” Shadow said as if it was nothing.

They both ran after you, Shadow reaching you first placing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him. Mailo just watched you, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. It was hard enough for him to stifle his feelings, now seeing you with a freak as he called em was unbearable. His blood boiled at how you didn't even flinch at the act, on the contrary, you let him pull you closer, his fur rubbing against your bare arms. Mailo had accepted hardly that you wanted nothing to do with him, that you were just best friends and that was all, but he couldn't accept that, was this the reason you had rejected him over and over and over and over again? You both had leaved him behind as if you had forgotten about him but he definitely noticed how you leaned on Shadow as he stole one of his kisses, watching him out of the corner of your eye as if he had already won.

You can pretend that it was me

But no

Stolen kisses and pretty lies. That was all there was between you and Shadow but you couldn't deny that the bastard knew what he was doing when he put his arm around you pulling you to his chest, or his hands on your shoulders lessening the stress. Part of you wanted to feel his hands on other parts of your body, but you still fought that inner voice that just wanted to take him in. When he kissed you, it was quick, it looked like a pure, chaste kiss but you knew his fang had taken a good bite out of your lower lip, the metallic taste of blood making its way through the class reminding you of his promise threat that he would see you later.

By the time you got home it was past 22:00, all you wanted was to take a bath and sleep until the weekend, to stop thinking and just exist in the coolness of the warm water as if your problems could drain away. You were so focused on yourself that you forgot to lock the door when you arrived. An amateur mistake that would cost you dearly. You had been tempting him all afternoon and he couldn't wait to put his hands around your neck, push you against the wall, undress your body, smell every inch of your skin and make you his while you begged him not to. There was no turning back now, no more games. He would take what belonged to him.

Baby, I'm preying on you tonight

Hunt you down eat you alive

You placed a towel around your body, the warm drops of water running down your hair and onto your back, the tension was gone thanks to the magic of the water and playing the waves of the sea worked wonders when stress consumed you. You picked up your brush and approached the bathroom mirror ready to untangle your long hair, you ran your hand through the steam from the mirror and saw him. That tall figure, dressed all in black. You turned to face him but there was no one there, you quickly slammed the door locking it, your heart pounding out of your chest as you heard the knob being forced while holding it as if your life depended on it because it did. It was him, it was real. Your Stalker was in your house and you had no way to escape. You were going to die there, in your bathroom, covered only with a towel or worse, first he would torture you doing whatever he wanted with you just like in his calls and texts and then you would end up 10mts underground, would anyone miss you? would they even notice your absence? Suddenly your phone vibrated, an incoming call, but you were too scared to answer, what if it was him?

“Hey how you doing?” The second you recognized Shadow's voice on your voicemail you ran for the phone, but your desperation and trembling hands wouldn't allow you to accept the call until after several attempts.

“Is it you? I swear to the gods Shadow if this is a fucking prank I will-“

“Wow, slow down princess. I'm outside your home, told you I’ll see you later.” she sobs covering her mouth as she hears the door being forced again. “Did I interrupt something?

“Help me.” you whisper. Shadow senses the fear in your voice, he enters your house breaking through the front door, his stealthy footsteps skirting the furniture and glass on the floor, following the sound of your sobs, he grabs the doorknob and hesitates to enter until he hears a scream coming from your mouth. With a precise blow he breaks down the bathroom door now he owes you two doors and comes over, wrapping his arms around you, protecting you. You freeze at his touch, screaming for help. “Hey, hey Bunny? Shhhh It's me.” he says gently stroking your head. You've never seen Shadow worried before, his brow furrowed, his ears drooping, his red eyes examining every part of your face making sure you weren't hurt, his palm holding your cheek. You failed to contain it and threw yourself onto his chest, salty tears wetting his chest. “You sure missed me bunny.”

“There was some-hic inside, hic-break in” you say between sobs. Shadow rises to his feet, standing in attack position, his ears perked up, alert to the tiniest sound. In a gold-orangy blur he’s gone, running all over the house at super speed, and although it only took him 10 seconds to get back to you, it was enough to find you in a fetal position next to the shower.

“There's no one here” He says. You raise your head, you were sure you looked pathetic, hyperventilating with your eyes red and puffy due to our crying, tears rolling down your reddish cheeks, hair tangled and still wet from your shower, this was not the way you’ll like him to see you or anyone for the matters. To your surprise Shadow sighs and takes you in his arms bridal style right to your room, you peek through his shoulder to all the mess the stalker had made.

Placing you on your bed he takes off his t-shirt offering it to you to cover up. You pull the soft material over your head, the fitting to big on you falling right down the middle of your thigh. He turns around looking in your drawers for your underwear. It doesn't take him long to find them, choosing a white one with small lace ruffles, he tosses them in your direction and stays on his back while you get dressed. Once ready, Shadow picks up the brush on your bureau and begins brushing your hair. The silence between you is not overwhelming, it is pleasant, allowing you to release the last of your tears as his hand caresses your back. When he finishes he places you inside your bed covering you with the sheets ready to withdraw until you take his hand. “Don't leave me” the plea in your voice, your puppy eyes and the little pout on your lips stops him. He removes his shoes and the rest of his clothes crawling into bed with you. You rest your head on his chest snuggling against him entangling your leg between his, caressing his chest fur as Shadow wraps his arms around your waist. The warmth of his body and the sound of his heart soothe your senses and you slowly enter dreamland.

[fleurriee]

— protection duty ; neteyam sully

pairing ; neteyam sully x fem!pregnant reader

synopsis ; it had been a few months now since you found out you were pregnant, and the paranoia of your mate can either be sweet or... annoying.

word count ; 4.3k

themes ; fluff, slight angst???, established relationship (mates).

warnings ; reader experiencing abdominal pains, overbearing neteytam if that counts but we'll continue to love him anyway???

author’s note ; the entire time i was writing this i had baby fever... what do i need to do to get my own neteyam?? this is part of my dad!neteyam series, which you can find in my masterlist below!

previous part ; next part

dad!neteyam series masterlist main masterlist request a fic!

"Here, let me."

For almost the entire day, you had found yourself confound to the same surrounding walls of the Tsahik tent. The predicament of being pregnant - let alone with the heir to the Olo'eyktan of the Omitkaya clan - was something you definitely hadn't seen coming. Of course, you understood their worries, but when it started to become a constant reoccurrence, it seemed a little too much.

You absolutely appreciated every gesture the clan offered you - whether it was helping you walk across the way, helping you sit down, helping you collect your food. It was endearing, but sometimes, you wished you could go back to the girl you were before, the one who could do things for herself without the fear of being coddled.

Obviously you had regular check ups with Mo'at to ensure everything was going smoothly with both yourself and your baby. This mainly included instances where she would poke and prod against your body, keeping her ears close to hear anything particular, calling out signs from Ewya that spoke of a blessing.

Today, however, was different.

Stupidly, you had accidentally let slip that you had begun to feel slight aches around your stomach. There wasn't anything specific about these pains, either, which made them more difficult to hide - they could occur at any part of the day, no matter who you were with or what you were doing, and you could only discreetly wince so much until it was becoming too much to bear on your own.

A small part of you was relieved by your own slip up to the Tsahik - that way, you had someone to confide in, who you could talk your problems away to and would understand. You were too nervous to tell Neteyam, already knowing the exact reaction he'd have. It wasn't as though you could have asked for a better mate by your side as you slowly started to take this journey together, but he was extremely protective.

And, you could understand his protectiveness when it came to the two of you - this was your first child, the first time you would be experiencing this path, and thankfully, you were doing it together. But, when his hands wouldn't leave your figure, keeping his steps directly next to your own, you had to start biting back your snaps. You didn't want to fight with him, after all, this was his baby, too, but despite doing this together, the stress hanging upon your shoulders and aching against your lower back was becoming too much.

So, when you let slip of your pains to Mo'at, the protectiveness you had seen in Neteyam had slowly started to transfer to his grandmother, clear as day as to where both himself and his mother got such a trait from in the first place. In an instant, she was rushing over to your figure, hands pressing against your stomach to spot the signs that you couldn't even if you had tried. You could see it clear as day when her gaze lingered on your own - this was her grandson's first born child, and all she wanted was for her family to be happy.

Thankfully, nothing had been wrong. With a smile full of reassurance directed solely at you, Mo'at had ensured you that the pains were natural due to the position your child was laying in - they were putting more pressure against your back than normal, but it was nothing to worry about. Such a revelation had you feeling insanely relieved, hands resting gently against your stomach as you rubbed your fingers to and fro. Already your child was up to no good.

But, in the end, her worries won over, and she insisted that you spend the day with her, just to hold any precautions necessary. You had sighed in reluctance, not wanting to get in the way of the Tsahik with her day-to-day tasks, but one warning look was all it took for you to agree, albeit, grumbling under your breath.

It wasn't too long after that when Kiri entered the tent, ready to work alongside her grandmother. Upon spotting you, she gave you a questioning expression, one you just answered with a subtle shake of your head, insinuating you'd rather not get into it right then. She didn't mind, instantly beginning her training as you watched on.

That was how the day panned out for you - sitting comfortably with your legs crossed, hands resting on top of your stomach, secure, back finally getting the rest it was screaming out for as you leant against a table. Every now and again, you would share input based on the training you were receiving before having them put on hold due to falling pregnant. It was nice, calming.

It wasn't as though there was much else you could do, especially considering your condition. Neteyam was out all day - he had grumbled and hissed at his father for forcing him away from his mate when she needed him the most, but all it took was Jake insisting that he needed to provide for his family more so than ever before, meaning he had to go out and hunt with the rest of those responsible with such a task. Leave it to Neteyam to step up to a mighty, protective role - he'd do anything for the two of you, that much was obvious.

Towards the end of the day, you had received another visitor - Neytiri. Throughout your pregnancy so far, your mother-in-law had been nothing but kind, understanding, nurturing. You felt at peace when you were around Neytiri, the woman always ensuring you were happy and okay before asking any other questions. She knew first hand what it was like to go through what you were, especially as a figurehead to the entire clan, and she'd be damned if she were to let you crumble under the weight of it all.

Neytiri greeted both her mother and her daughter before making her way over to you, squatting down and asking how you were. The question bought you ease and solace, wrapped within the comforts of a fellow mother's warm embrace. She'd brought you some fruits, too, for your dinner that night, stating that not only were they deliciously beautiful, but that they had properties within them that could help ease any potential pains you may been feeling. For a split second, you panicked, wondering whether your winces hadn't been all that discreet in the end, and waiting for the inevitable scolding you'd receive for not seeking help immediately. Instead, she only continued to smile softly at you, placing the bowl down near you and subtly asking for permission to place her hands against your stomach.

This was something Neytiri loved to do - she said being close to a child still in the womb like this was comforting for both the mother and the baby, the both of them relishing in the embrace of knowing they were never alone, that they had a family - an entire clan - standing behind them, ready to receive them home. And, she was right, like she always is. Such a gesture caused you relaxation, the constraints dispersing within the seconds until it was like they were never there at all.

You had left not long after that, stating that you needed to get back home before Neteyam did to ensure he had some food waiting for him after a gruelling day of hunting. Before you could leave the tent, Mo'at had shot up from her position, gesturing you closer to her and doing something similar to what Neytiri had done earlier. Mo'at was breathing in deeply, eyes closed as she spoke to the will of Ewya. When the Tsahik did this, you couldn't help but worry for a short second that maybe something was wrong, but the pleasant smile etched into the elder Na'vi's lips forced all those thoughts away into oblivion.

Finally, you were on your way home, a small bowl of fruits in one hand and the other on top of your protruding stomach that was beginning its little renditions of rumbling. The sweet scent of the food just below you were invading your scenes, and you were sure you had never smelled anything sweeter, a pure smile of bliss painted upon your features.

That was when Neteyam came.

He was by your side in an instant, the warmth of his body radiating through to your own, hands moving subconsciously towards the bowl to take it from your own grasp. Looking over at him, it was clear as day he hadn't been to a healing tent like they were supposed to after every hunt, even if it was just to get checked out. Neteyam had no scratches on him, of course, but he was a little filthy, chest heaving with panting breaths, sweat beading upon the top of his head. He must've seen you on your way home.

"Neteyam," you chastised him, keeping the bowl tight in your hold. "I can carry it-"

"It's fine, yawne (beloved)," he replied, shaking his head, adamant. His gaze was piercing as he looked intently down at you, unrelenting in his actions - it was obvious he wasn't going to give in, not like you wanted him to. "I'll do it for you."

You grumbled to yourself, eyes rolling in disbelief at such a level of protectiveness emanating from your mate - you understood it sometimes, but this was ridiculous. "It is only a bowl of fruit."

With a playful shrug, he smirks, knowing he's starting to get on your nerves with the way he's acting, but clearly not caring enough to stop himself. There was nothing on both the world of Pandora and all the galaxies around that could stop him from treating you with the upmost care and compassion as a mate and father-to-be should. If anything were to happen to you, he'd never forgive himself, even if the perpetrator was a bowl of fruit. "And, what type of Na'vi would I be if I didn't help my pregnant mate?"

There's no chance to retaliate against him - in an instant, he's moving over to your tent, opening the flap of the entrance open with his arm as he gestures you to walk through. The sight of him sends shivers down your spine, your mind creating images of nights you'd spent intimately together - the way he was such a gentleman towards you, so caring and doting, had you practically frothing at the mouth. Not that he'd do anything with you now, though.

Shaking your head in mock displeasure, you walked into your tent, grumbling as you went, eyeing him with slight annoyance of him prohibiting you from practically everything. You loved him for it, of course you did, but no matter how annoyed you'd become at each overbearing action, the two of you knew he wasn't going to stop, so what was the point in arguing when it was only going to be a losing battle?

Moving further into your tent, you walk around the middle where a small table had been both built and set up by Neteyam just after you moved in. It was ritual that you always ate together there, sharing stories of your day and wondering what the next one would bring. It always brought you sadness when Neteyam couldn't make it - there had been several times since moving in together that he had to go out on a hunting trip for days, but his family were always sure to invite you to their meal, not wanting you to be alone.

Standing in your usual spot, you watched in your peripheral as Neteyam started to tie the entrance closed, wanting the two of you to have as much privacy and time to be your true selves together. You started to bend your knees, arms preparing to catch your weighted figure on the way down when another sharp pain pierced right against your abdomen, sending jolting sensations right to the bottom of your toes. An agonizing hiss escaped past your lips before you could remember to stop yourself, too busy focusing on the pain bearing down on you, knees wobbling as you struggled to hold yourself up right.

Immediately, Neteyam was by your side, bowl shoved to the floor carelessly, its contents spilling about the place. His protective side washed over him, glazing him over in a red light until all he was doing was panicking. He took note of your scrunched up features, the way your brows furrowed, eyes wrenched shut, legs unsteady. Gently, but with a rush of urgency, he placed one hand to the back of your neck, willing your head to look up at him, to focus on him, and the other on top of your plump stomach, fondly caressing the skin with his thumb. "What is it - what's wrong, yawne (beloved)?"

You give yourself a minute to catch your breath, shaking your head and willing yourself back to the present, mind relentlessly reminding yourself that it's okay, Mo'at said it's fine. Still, you don't move, staying in his arms that brought you such a strong feeling of safety. "It is nothing, my muntxa (mate), just a bit of pain." You swallow deeply, the pain beginning to subside. "Your grandmother said it is normal." Looking up at him, you instantly recognised both the hesitance and concern rooted deeply within his gaze, eyes slightly crinkled and a crease between his brows. It didn't matter how many times you told him the same thing now, he'd be by your side constantly. "It's okay, ma'teyam. Let me just-"

You attempted to unwind yourself from his arms, going to try and sit down again so you could start the meal that should have been completed ages ago now. But, Neteyam wouldn't let you, noticing exactly what you were doing and not allowing it. Whilst his grip on your delicate figure tightened just a little, he shook his head vehemently. "No, no. I will do our food tonight, muntxate (wife)."

Guilt started to cleave away at your mind - Neteyam had surely had a long day, no doubt only wanting to be home and within your arms, surrounding by his own growing family, appetite full from a meal you had made. Yet, here he was, insisting he make the food for the two of you - well, three of you - despite the tiredness clearly shown on his features. "Neteyam, really-" you sighed.

"Please, my syulang (flower)." He begged, the desperation evident in his tone of voice, and it only ached your heart more. The soft sensation of his thumb continuously rubbing against your stomach paired along with the compassion in his gaze, never once faltering from your own, already had you agreeing with him. "Let me do this for you." His voice was soft, words spoken tenderly, like speaking any louder might've hurt you or the baby.

With his head resting gently upon your own, you felt yourself beginning to fall down the path that was only filled with him. How could you say no to such a request when he was desperate to provide for you, wanting to be the head of his own family that he couldn't wait to watch grow with you by his side?

You nod, causing a slow but bright smile to be casted upon his lips. His hands don't move from your body, instead making their way around your figure until he has you turned around, situated in front of him and guiding you over to the mat the two of you share. Actions considerate of the potential pain you could still be in, he starts to help you lower yourself down, one hand against the small of your back, and the other not having once moved from your stomach, from your baby. His touch was as though he was protecting them from the world, from anything daring enough to threaten them - Ewya help whoever would when they cross Neteyam.

Placed gently upon your mat, comfortably in the same position you continue to find yourself in - legs crossed over one another and arms wrapped around the entirety of your stomach - your mate stood above you, looking down at you lovingly. Sending you a warm smile, he placed a lingering kiss to the top of your head, before eventually parting and moving back over to the bowl of discarded fruit.

You watch him as he works, preparing his family's dinner, hands moving deftly about the table's surface. He made sure to give you a bigger portion now that you were technically eating for two, adding in the fruits he instantly knows were from his mother after having seeing them all the time when growing up. Every now and again, he'll aim his attention back over to you, no doubt checking on you and making sure you're comfortable and okay, only to find your eyes automatically following his every move. He chuckles to himself, his tail twitching at the way he can gain such a loving reaction from you, willing his attention back to his task.

You just can't help yourself when he looks like that - the way the domesticity oozes from him so deliciously only has you buzzing with excitement. Just the thought of what he'll be like when the baby eventually does arrive causes your flesh to rise, your heart fluttering widely. If you'd have known he could only get more attractive during a time like this, you might've given yourself more warning - then again, you knew nothing could really prepare you for the man before you.

Before you know it, Neteyam is up and making his way over to you, gently cupping your portion of food and handing it over to you. Hurriedly, he goes back for his own, settling himself down beside you, knees touching and warmth excruciating. You smile widely at him at the way he's treating you, slowly beginning to come to terms with his protectiveness - as he said, it's his job as both your mate and the soon-to-be father of the family. Bringing the food up to your mouth, you take a small bite, relishing in the tastes it exudes, loving the mixture Neteyam had made just for you.

A moan of delight falls from your lips, eyes peeling back open to fall upon him, attention already locked on you. "Thank you, ma'teyam."

He smiles warmly back at you, savouring the way you look at him. Happiness washes over him that you enjoyed the meal he rushed for you, only now hoping that his baby enjoyed some of it, too. Nodding, you watch as some of braids fall into his face. "Of course, my muntxate (wife). I'll always take care of my girls."

Such words have you raising your eyes, pointedly looking straight at him. You can feel your ears twitch as you process the exact thing he had just softly spoken to you. "Your girls?" you question, teasingly smiling, but unable to hide the pure adoration peeking through your façade. With a free hand, you start to rub against your stomach, part of you hoping against all odds that your unborn baby could hear their parents. "Who says they are a girl, hmm?"

Shrugging, Neteyam takes another bite of his food, speaking with his mouth full. When he's outside, in front of the clan, he can't do things like this - he can't show off his childish side and be the Na'vi he feels he truly is. He has to put on a front, but not with you - never with you. Allowing him to show himself off like this, has only ever made him love you more. "Father's intuition."

You laugh loudly at his reasoning. "Father's intuition?" you repeat, shaking your head at him. "And, what about the mother's intuition?"

The teasing between you only continues to go back and forth, a smile full of adoration playing on his lips. Shaking his head, he leans closer to you, voice quiet but tender. "I know I'm not normally right about these things," he begins, giddiness starting to wash over you as you watch his every move, "but, this I definitely am."

Heart warm and mushy, your mind begins to show you quick images of a future that could be waiting for you - Neteyam swinging your unborn daughter in the air, her little, high-pitched giggles loud within the clan; Neteyam walking around with her all day, showing off everything her sempu (father) does to help provide and feeling proud when she shows interest; Neteyam wanting to teach her absolutely everything, wishing her to be fierce and independent, but not so much so she was unsafe or didn't feel the need to confide with her parents.

You can't help but look up at him like he's the one who hung all the stars in the sky, like he was the embodiment of Ewya herself.

Eyes still penetrating him, mind still hazy with beautiful images, you bite your lip, unable to hide the growing smile that's evident of the way he speaks about your family. "I guess a girl does sound nice."

Breathlessly laughing, he finishes off his portion, gesturing for you to each as much of yours as you could - he knew sometimes, despite always ensuring you gave yourself a larger portion, that you struggled to finish a full meal. When you ate all you wanted, he took the discarded leftovers, placing them in the bowl his mother sent and leaving it on the side. Now back with you, you look up at him, wondering what his plan is to do next. You can't say you're entirely surprised when he bends low beside you, picking you up in his arms and beginning to lay you back against the mat with care, assuring that you weren't in any pain.

Since moving in together and decorating your tent exactly how the two of you loved it, making sure it felt exactly like home, Neteyam had insisted that he would be the one to sleep on the outside of the mat, leaving you encased between your mate's body and the side of the tent. You never had any disagreements with his arrangements, but you'd asked him why out of curiosity, with him explaining that if anything were to happen, he could protect you before they could threaten you. You remember feeling giddy at his confession at the time, and now that you were pregnant, that had only reached ten-fold.

You lay on your back, waiting for Neteyam to make himself comfortable beside you; one arm placed under your head, acting as a pillow, and the other situated right where it always found itself - upon your stomach. His hand moved almost subconsciously, rubbing soothingly against your skin, drawing patterns and wondering if his baby could tell he was near.

Like a routine now, Neteyam doesn't allow himself even a single moment to think about falling asleep, no matter how tired he is or how much he wishes to float away, dreaming of you and your baby. Instead, he lifts himself forward, resting his head just inches away your stomach, and speaks softly, whispering the words into your skin so they can hear every word he has to say to them. "I love you, ma'evenge (my girl). Goodnight, and make sure to be kind to your mother so she can get some good rest, too."

Chuckling at his words, Neteyam lies back down, situating himself right by your side, snuggling in closer to you. He cups his hand against your cheek, bringing you in for a loving kiss, one that had you feeling a tingle of excitement.

Pulling away from you, your mate stares intently into your eyes. "Promise me you will tell me when you feel pain like that again."

You melt into his embrace, head snuggling into the palm of hand, sighing in defeat. "Neteyam," you relent, bringing your own hand up to run up and down his chest in smoothing patterns, attempting to calm his worries. "Your grandmother - the Tsahik - said it is perfectly normal to get them every now and again when-"

Neteyam shakes his head, refusing. His eyes are narrowed, adamant. "No, I do not care if they are normal, for whatever reason." His words have you stumped, watching him without breaking away from his gaze. "I need to know what you are feeling, and I need to help you through it." Blinking, you can feel a build-up of tears at the way he speaks to you, so caring, so devoting. "As your muntxa (mate), and as a sempu (father)."

You can't help but feel bad for having put him in this situation in the first place - you know now, with how achingly clear it is, that telling Neteyam of your growing pains was always what you should've done to begin with. It didn't matter how protective he got over the two of you, because his intentions were always clear - to keep you safe and healthy. For you to have denied that of him was wrong.

Licking your lips, you breathe in relief, looking up at him tenderly, eyes alight. "Okay, ma'teyam," you relent, "I will - I promise."

Leaning up slightly, you press a feather-light kiss along his jaw, feeling him starting to relax from beneath your touch. You pull away and spot the tiredness beginning to take over him entirely, so you snuggle in closer to him, your head nestling into the crook of his neck and allowing him was to engulf you whole. His tail moves against you, wrapping itself from around Neteyam and coiling over your bulging stomach, body subconsciously feeling the need to protect his mate and baby.

With a sigh of relief, the two of you allow sleep to invade your senses, slipping off into a world of pure bliss that you can only hope will be a part of your futures.

taglist ;

@monahiiii @bakugouswaif @andraga12 @draiochtwrites

[sidekick-hero]

(steddie | teen | 2.5k | tags: different first meeting, emotional hurt/comfort | summary: What happens when Steve meets Eddie Munson, who has just failed his senior year for the first time, during one of his nightly drives? | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is asking, "do you want a blanket?" by @thefreakandthehair | AO3)

Steve's life was completely turned upside down (theoretically he sees the humor in this, but in practice the trauma trumps the pun) six months and six days ago when he came face-to-face with a honest-to-God inter-dimensional monster and barely survived to not tell the tale thanks to an airtight and frankly scary NDA.

He should be over it by now, right? He shouldn't be waking up screaming, drenched in his own sweat and shaking all over, his heart racing in his chest and his stomach in his throat.

Right.

Well, he's not. He doesn't get over it. The nightmares don't go away. If anything, he feels like they're getting worse, his mind adding horrible details and things that didn't happen, but could have, to keep torturing him.

He's a fucking mess.

Steve Harrington is a mess. His grades are slipping, on their way to joining his social status at rock bottom, and even his performance as co-captain of the swim team and basketball team is suffering from lack of sleep.

The only thing he has going for him is Nancy. Nancy, who doesn't understand that Steve just wants to get over the horror and the paranoia, just wants his life back, just wants to be normal again.

She doesn't say it outright, but he knows she thinks he's selfish, too self-centered to care about anything but himself. Sure, he's made amends with Jonathan and cut ties with Tommy and Carol, but deep down, Nancy doesn't think he's changed all that much. He's not Jonathan, he's not mature and monosyllabic and introspective. Just dumb little Steve, pretty to look at but not much else to offer.

These are the things he ponders during his late-night drives when another nightmare keeps him awake. It's impossible to fall asleep with terror pumping through his veins, so instead he climbs into his car and just drives. Some nights he will drive for hours, music playing softly from one of his tapes, Queen, Springsteen, Tears For Fears, Bon Jovi.

Tonight his drive takes him to the edge of town, right where a dirt road leads to the quarry. Steve has no idea why, but something makes him actually leave the main road and turn onto it. He follows it where it leads into the woods, slowing down on the bumpy road until he sees the dense cluster of trees open up to reveal a glimpse of the starry night sky. The path seems to open up into a clearing, and just there, to the right, Steve spots an old van.

He knows the car, has seen it often enough in the parking lot of Hawkins High to know that it belongs to none other than Eddie Munson, local drug dealer and freak.

At least that's what everyone keeps calling him, and sure, the guy seems a little weird, with his speeches on cafeteria tables, his dramatic antics in and out of class. He certainly doesn't look like most of the other kids, with his ripped jeans (clearly from wear and tear rather than fashion sense), long, unruly curls, and loud shirts advertising bands Steve has never heard of. People also shit on him for his father and for living in a trailer park, but none of that sounds particularly freaky to Steve.

Knowing what he does now, though, it worries him to think of Munson all alone out here where anything could happen to him. He doesn't know Munson, just about him, but Steve couldn't live with himself if he came to school on Monday and found Munson missing. One person has already died because of his carelessness, and no one deserves to suffer the same fate as Nancy's friend Barb.

Parking his car right next to Munson's, Steve climbs out and walks around the car to the trunk to pick up the nail bat that saved his life and the lives of Nancy and Jonathan. Then he makes his way to the opening of the clearing ahead.

Stepping out of the trees, Steve stops to take in the sight before him.

Above him stretches the inky expanse of the night sky, a seemingly endless void painted with a myriad of distant stars. The moonlight danced along the jagged edges of the quarry, revealing the vastness of the rocky landscape below in a silvery glow. The only sound that broke the silence of the night was the occasional soft rustle of leaves. The air was crisp and clean, carrying with it a hint of earthiness from the rocky terrain. In this secluded enclave, far from the lights of the city, the stars were front and center, and Steve felt unbelievably small.

With his shoulders hunched over his ears and his arms slung protectively around his knees, the figure sitting on the edge of the cliff looks even smaller than he feels.

It seems that Munson didn't even hear his car approaching, and that makes Steve's hair stand on end because it means that anyone, anything could have snuck up on him. It's not safe.

Steve approaches cautiously, trying his best not to startle the other boy and cause him to fall to his certain death.

"Munson?" He asks softly, quietly, but to no avail. It still causes Munson to flail in surprise, and only Steve's quick reflexes keep him from falling over the edge. With his knees still smarting from the sudden drop to the ground, Steve has his arm wrapped around the other boy, and both of them are panting from the shock.

"Fuck, man, are you trying to kill me?" Munson's voice quavers too much to be truly biting.

Steve carefully loosens his grip on Munson and leans back to sit on his haunches. Running a slightly trembling hand through his hair, he can't help but bite back. "If you paid more attention to what was going on around you, you would have heard me coming. I wasn't really trying to be subtle. It's like you want to get killed."

Munson scoots away from the edge of the cliff and climbs to his feet to look down at Steve and the nail bat he dropped when he made a grab for the other boy. He raises a judgmental eyebrow, causing Steve's defenses to go up in an instant.

They look at each other, brown meeting hazel, until Munson breaks the silence. "By someone walking around with a nail-studded bat, you mean?"

"I wasn't going to hit you with it!" And crap, abort Harrington, abort.

Now both eyebrows look at him questioningly. "And who, pray tell, pissed off King Steve enough to deserve this kind of treatment?"

"No one! For God's sake, I thought you might be in danger and wanted to be prepared in case you were." Then he adds, "After what happened to Will Byers and Barbara Holland, you'd think people in this town would be more careful instead of hanging out in the woods in the middle of the night."

Ed-No, Munson's eyes soften at his explanation. "Shit, sorry man. You're right, I guess." Shuffling his feet, he offers his own explanation for his harsh reaction. "Just had a shitty day, I guess. I shouldn't have bitten your head off for trying to look out for me. Although I never thought King Steve would ride in on his white horse to save the school freak from unimaginable evil."

"White horse? What, like a knight? Does that make you the damsel in distress, Munson?"

Munson gets a strange look on his face at Steve's words, and before he knows what's happening, the guy pretends to faint right into his arms. He catches him just before he hits the ground and feels how cold the boy's body is in his thin t-shirt. "My savior," Munson croons, and Steve rolls his eyes at his antics. Still not a freak, but definitely weird.

Instead of dignifying this with an answer, Steve says, "You're freezing, man. What are you doing out here in the middle of the night anyway?"

Dark brown eyes search his, and Steve thinks he's never seen such expressive eyes. He can read a myriad of emotions in them and he doesn't even know the guy. Sadness, caution, defeat, and something he's seen in the mirror a lot in the last few months: fear.

"I bet you have better things to do than listen to my sad little problems. Can't imagine you're just running around town rescuing damsels in distress now, I'm sure you have places to be, a kingdom to rule..."

"Could you just drop the whole 'King Steve' crap, man? I'm not him. Not anymore. Even if nobody seems to have gotten the memo."

"Okay, woah, sorry, man. I didn't know this was such a touchy subject."

"Do you want me to call you a freak and make assumptions about you based solely on high school gossip?"

"I don't know, don't you?"

"I'm trying not to. You don't have to tell me what's going on if you don't want to. I'm just saying... I know what it's like when you can't stand lying in your bed staring at the ceiling any longer. Wanting to get out and leave whatever it is that's bothering you behind, but no matter how fast you drive, it keeps catching up with you."

He's rambling, he knows he is, he didn't plan on unburdening his heart to Eddie Munson of all people, but here they are.

"I failed senior year." Eddie finally admits in a small voice, not meeting Steve's eyes.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Fuck, man. That sucks. Can you repeat it?"

"Sure. But I... God, everyone was right all along. I'm a failure, a fuckup. Just like my dad. A good-for-nothing waste of space. I haven't even told Wayne, I can't stand the look in his eyes when I tell him". There are tears in Eddie's eyes and Steve's heart breaks for him.

"Fuck!" Eddie shouts across the quarry and a flock of birds takes flight somewhere in the nearby woods. He's shaking again, and this time it's not from the adrenaline. Steve can't really take away any of the things that are weighing on Eddie, but he can offer him something else.

"Do you want a blanket?"

Eddie's doe eyes blink at him slowly, as if he's not sure he heard him right.

"You're only wearing a T-shirt, you must be cold." Eddie doesn't deny it. "Let me get you a blanket, then."

Another slow blink, and then, "If you're...sure?"

Steve gives him a smile that he hopes is warm and reassuring. "I'm sure." He walks over to his BMW and takes the nail bat with him, exchanging it for the blanket that he keeps in the trunk of his car at all times. Tommy H. calls it the "baby maker blanket," which is so typical of Tommy that Steve wonders why he was hanging out with him at all. Maybe because he was a friend to Steve when no one else would be.

But maybe he won't tell Eddie about the blanket's history. Anyway, it's freshly washed and smells only of his detergent.

Handing it to the boy, Steve says, "There you go," before turning to walk back to his car.

"Where are you going?"

When Steve turns back, Eddie is sitting on the ground with the blanket around his shoulder, one end held open as if inviting Steve to join him.

"Back home?" It's not supposed to sound like a question, but some of his reluctance to leave seeps into it anyway. He doesn't want to go home to his empty house and bed, afraid to close his eyes in case the nightmares come back.

"Look, you don't have to, of course, but if you want, you can stay and tell me what brought you here in the middle of the night. Or not. We could just sit here in silence, totally fine with me."

Steve snorts, because even though this is the first time he's had a conversation with Eddie, he can already tell that silence doesn't come easy to him.

"If you're sure," he repeats Eddie's words back to him as he makes his way over to him.

"I'm sure," Eddie says firmly, wrapping the blanket around Steve as soon as he sits down next to him.

Many things surprised Steve that night, but most of all how comfortable the silence between him and Eddie had felt as they watched the stars until they gave way to the rising sun.

They never talked about that night again, the polite nods in the halls all the acknowledgment they allowed for what had happened.

But when Steve walks across the stage to receive his diploma in 1985, he notices Eddie's absence and his heart aches for him. He had been looking forward to seeing Eddie walk across the stage next to him, to give him a smile, a wink. Maybe even ask him out for a celebratory beer, if he's being completely honest with himself.

The sad truth is: Steve had no one to spend his graduation with, no girlfriend, no friends, just a 13-year-old know-it-all whose bedtime didn't really allow for any kind of grown-up celebration. Eddie was his only hope of not being alone tonight.

That's probably why he's heading out to the quarry again that night, bat and blanket in tow.

It's a shot in the dark, and at the same time it's not. Because there Eddie is, sitting on the edge again, small and defeated, and just as alone as Steve. Without a word, Steve joins him on the ground and wraps the blanket around them both.

"I'm sorry."

Eddie's warm weight settles against him. "Me too." Silence falls between them, and Steve thinks that's all they'll say, but then Eddie nudges his shoulder with his own and says, "I'm sorry, too. About Wheeler."

"Me too."

Steve thinks that even if he's not a poet, there's something symbolic in the way they both watch the sun rise again over the quarry.

The next time he wrapped the blanket around Eddie, it was again in the middle of the night. Only this time, Eddie is unconscious in the back of his car while Steve races to the hospital, praying to any God who will listen that this will not be the last time.

It isn't. Not by a long shot. Getting the blood out is not easy, but with Joyce's help he manages. The blanket is there when physical therapy is especially grueling, when they both sit on the porch of Eddie's new trailer, Steve holding Eddie under the blanket's protective cover.

It's there when Steve moves in with the Munsons and gets a special place on Eddie's bed, though they never make love on it. The blood was hard enough to get out, and the material doesn't look like it can take much more deep cleaning.

They take it with them when they move to their apartment in Chicago, and it's there for every bad day either of them has.

Their blanket finds its final purpose, however, with the arrival of their daughter, April. From the day their little bundle of joy moves in with them, she sleeps wrapped in the foundation of Steve and Eddie's love.

Steve may not be a poet, that's Eddie's job, but he appreciates the symbolism all the same.

[foundtherightwords]

Fallen Empires - Chapter 8

Pairing: Geta x OFC

Summary: Having done the unthinkable to secure his throne, Emperor Geta rules with ruthlessness and paranoia. Now, after escaping an assassination attempt, a badly injured Geta is saved by Daphne, a young widow, who takes him back to her remote village without knowing his true identity. As Daphne nurses the former emperor back to health, attraction blooms between them, and Geta discovers a soft side he didn't know he possessed. But can their love survive his thirst for revenge and his desire to reclaim power?

Chapter warnings: some mentions of violence and sexual content, Geta is still a jerk (he has a long way to go!)

Chapter word count: 3.8k

Prologue + Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Geta overslept. He didn't wake until the sun baked the hut into an oven and the heat jolted him out of bed.

The front room was empty. Daphne was nowhere to be seen. She certainly wasn't in the hut, and she wasn't in the garden. Not a breeze stirred outside. The goats were lying down in the shade of the laurel trees, too lethargic even to sneak some bites of the herbs spread out on a clean cloth nearby to dry in the sun. The only things still moving were the bees, busily moving amongst the flowers, oblivious to the heat. The donkey was gone from his usual spot. Had Daphne gone to the village then? But she had just made her rounds the other day... She was probably avoiding him out of shyness. And who wouldn't be shy after a night like that?

His breakfast was on the table as usual, and as he ate, he recalled the night with a smug sense of triumph. So he'd brought her to her knees after all. Or, rather, to her back. And he would have her on her knees before long, he decided, feeling an echo of the fire from the previous night stirring in his loins again.

It wasn't that Daphne was particularly good at bed-sport. He'd had some camp followers in Britannia and Germania that were much better, and as for the whores of the provinces on his travels, especially in Alexandria, well... they could do things that made one's eyes water just to think about. But it was the way she'd come to him, so timid and yet so bold. Oh, he'd had plenty of women who came to him willingly enough, but they had always been so confident in their skills as seductresses. There was something rather sweet in Daphne's gracelessness. It was as if she had been so eager to give herself to him that she didn't care how she did it. It flattered him.

If he was perfectly honest with himself, he would admit that he wouldn't have had the courage to approach her had she not come to him first. But she had. She was just a woman, after all. Under all that lean flesh and hard bones and dour expressions, she was just as soft and warm as any of them. All his fears and doubts about her, thinking of her as a goddess? Nonsense. It was simply the shock of seeing a naked woman again after so long. That and the beauty of the moonlit night had overthrown his senses, it was all.

By Jupiter, but it felt good to lie with a woman again after all these months. It felt good to know his injuries had not robbed him completely of his strength. True, she had left the room in a bit of a huff afterward, when he refused her kiss. But he had never allowed anyone to kiss him, nor had he ever kissed anyone, on the mouth or anywhere else on the body, for that matter. The mouth is noble and sacred, used for talking, commanding, and praying, and so it must be pure and immaculate. In Rome, he had often scoffed at the senators' habit of greeting each other with a kiss. Effete, conniving lot! He much preferred a soldier's straightforward way of greeting, by clasping each other's hand. You greet a person and get the measure of him at the same time.

Geta did some light exercises until it got too hot to move. Daphne didn't come back at lunchtime. He found some cheese and olives and ate them with the last of the bread. It was too hot in the bedroom with its tiny window, so he collapsed on the cot and cooled himself with a fan. The pillow smelled of soapwort, and when he caught himself nuzzling it, he frowned in irritation and flung it away. If the woman didn't see it fit to tell him where she'd gone, then he certainly wouldn't moon after her like some lovesick calf.

When she didn't come back at sunset, his irritation turned to concern. Had there been an emergency in the village? No, he would've heard the bell then. Had she had another run-in with her father?

Geta went out to the top of the path, peering into the twilight. Half of him wanted to look for her, while the other half hesitated, afraid of being seen in the village, afraid of being lost amongst the hills. But if she didn't come back by the next day, he decided, he would have to risk it.

Just as he thought this, a soft bray sounded amongst the rock, and a moment later, Daphne's familiar figure appeared on the path, clad in her usual dark stole, leading the donkey with one hand.

The sight of her sent a great relief through him, and he almost ran down the path to meet her, only he stopped himself in time. It would not do to let her know how much he'd thought of her, how much he'd longed for her. He turned on his heel and returned to the hut, hoping she had not seen him. And thus, when Daphne came in, he was sitting at the table idly examining her jars of herbs and potions, looking for all the world like he'd just had a relaxing day by himself.

"There you are," he said with what he hoped was a cool, uninterested air.

"Are you having trouble with your bowel movements?" Daphne asked.

"What?"

She nodded at the jar he was holding. "That's for softening stools."

Geta reddened and dropped the jar on the table. "I wasn't looking at the jar," he stammered. "I was appraising your penmanship. You still need a lot of practice."

But Daphne was no longer listening. After a quick, frowning glance at him, she unwound her stole and hung it up. He gulped. Underneath she was wearing only a short, sleeveless tunic, loosely belted about her waist. Give her a bow and quiver, and she could pass for the hunting Diana.

No. First Aurora, then Luna, and now Diana? He must stop thinking of her as a goddess. She was nothing. Just a peasant woman.

"You've been to the village?" he asked, for want of something to say.

"Yes. Sorry I'm so late, but I brought dinner."

She unpacked her basket, which contained bread, some grilled meat, and juicy figs, and they sat down to eat. The food was good—it was the first time Geta had had meat and fresh fruits since he came here—but the atmosphere was tense. Their night together stood between them like some enormous thing. It remained lurking for now, but any mention of it would make it spring to life, sucking up the light and air in the room, like a spirit that only came into being when its name was spoken. Neither of them spoke. A heavy silence hung over them.

Several times Geta caught Daphne glancing at him, not with that searching look she'd given him by the cistern, but with sadness and longing. When their eyes met, she quickly looked away again, her cheeks flushed with more than just the heat. He thought of her the night before, not looking at him, her body fluttering under his hands as she guided him to take her clothes off. He thought of her staying away for a whole day, only to come back with a feast—or as close to a feast as she could—for him, and he grinned to himself. She's feeling shy, that's all.

After dinner, Daphne cleared away the plates and brought in the herbs, now as dried as straw. She stood at the table and sorted through them, some to be grounded into decoctions and brews, others tied into bundles. Seated at the doorway of the bedroom, Geta watched her, feasting his eyes on her elegant arms, round shoulders, and shapely calves.

"Come to bed," he called to her. He had quite forgotten his resolve to appear cool and uninterested. He was sure now that Daphne wanted him and was only too shy to act upon it. That husband of hers had died a long time ago; Geta would've gladly bet that he had been an oafish farm boy, unable to give her the true pleasure of marital bliss. Well, Geta was not well versed in marital bliss either, but he knew pleasure, at least his own. He could show her...

"You go to bed," she said without turning around. "I'm busy."

She was the one that sounded cool and uninterested, and doubt crept into his mind. She had been a widow for eight years, and she lived alone, with no male relatives to protect her. Could it be that he had not been the first man since her husband to share her bed? He banished the idea. The way she'd moved the night before wasn't like a woman who had had a lot of experiences. And even if she'd had other lovers, none of them were here, were they? He was.

"I mean, come to bed with me," he said.

"I need to finish up here. And you need your rest."

It wasn't exactly a rejection. She lifted her arm to hang the herbs on the hooks dangling from the rafters. The short hem of the tunic rose, showing a glimpse of her thighs, and he thought he would go mad with want. He got up and walked across the room, slowly, for he was still prone to shortness of breath, until he came up behind her. "Come to bed," he said again. 

She bent over the herbs, patently ignoring him. He reached out and ran the back of his fingers over her arm, his touch light as a feather. Her breath hitched, but she didn't move away. Emboldened, he moved closer, brushed away the tendrils of hair on the nape of her neck, and pressed his nose there. Her very skin seemed to be permeated with the fragrance of soapwort, along with the sweetness of honey and the warm smell of herbs and sunshine, and he breathed in deeply, letting her scent fill his nose until he became quite giddy with it.

Daphne stood still. From the heaving of her shoulders, he could feel her breath coming out in slow, shaky puffs. He moved even closer and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to him, so she could feel how much he wanted her. She leaned back, so his face fitted perfectly into the crook between her neck and her shoulder, and let out a sigh.

When he said "Come to bed" for the third time, she finally turned around to face him.

"Are you married?" she asked.

The question took him by surprise. "Would you not come to bed with me if I am?" he asked.

"Of course."

"That didn't stop you last night," he pointed out.

She blushed a little, looking for a moment so sweet and maidenly that it took all of Geta's willpower not to take her there and then. "That was different," she said.

"How?"

"I didn't know then. I didn't think to ask. I'm asking you now."

"You are aware that I could very well lie to you and you wouldn't know." As I'm already lying to you, he thought.

"Yes. But this gives you a chance to tell the truth. If you did lie, it would be both to me and to your wife. I wouldn't be your knowing accomplice."

Her reasoning was odd, but he couldn't deny that it made a certain amount of sense. And either way, he wouldn't have to lie to her.

"No," he said, relieved to be telling the plain truth for once. "I'm not married."

There had been plans and talks of marriage. But he hadn't paid attention to any of the terrified young girls offered up to him. Though he knew that having an heir would help to secure his throne, he'd been too busy sowing his wild oats, not wanting to be tied up to a wife just yet. And even if he'd had a wife and child, there was no guarantee that they would have been safe from his enemies, so why risk it?

Would Daphne be safe once he was found? He shivered and drew her close, trying to banish such thoughts from his head. She put her arms around him. He undid her belt and tugged at the tunic, pulling it over her head. She let him, giggling quietly as the garment got stuck at her elbows, forcing her to wriggle out of it. After tossing the tunic aside, he buried his nose in her neck again. How smooth her skin was, how soft and cool her body was, as it wrapped around him like the water of the stream that had brought him to her, washing away his dark thoughts. Would that she could wash away his crimes as well...

He tried to pick her up, only he was still too weak. His arms slid from her and his legs crumpled. His face burned up, ashamed at his frailty, but Daphne didn't seem to mind. Smiling, she helped him into the back room, where they collapsed onto the bed.

She drew him down to her, seeking his lips. By reflex, he twisted away from her.

"What's wrong?" she asked, full of concern.

"Nothing," he said, tossing his head to get rid of the gentle hand cradling his jaw. "Just don't do that."

She gazed at him, her green eyes appearing dark gray in the dim room, but he could still see the expression in them—there was curiosity there, and sympathy, and something very close to pity as well. It made him squirm. He, the terror of the barbarians, he who had led the army against the Caledonians, the Alemanni, and the Parthians, he who had plundered the entire city of Alexandria, was now squirming under the gaze of a woman, a near-illiterate peasant. He couldn't have that.

"Turn around," he told her.

Daphne frowned. "What?"

"Turn around. Lie on your belly."

Her eyes widened in understanding. "But I wish to look upon your face," she said.

"I don't. Turn around."

She raised an eyebrow at his gruff tone. "No," she said flatly. "I don't like that."

His embarrassment turned to anger. He seized her arm, gripping it tight, which meant as tight as he could, his hands still not as strong as they used to be. "You will turn around," he said through clenched teeth.

"I will not," she said, her voice hard. "I'm not some camp follower for you to order about. If you can't take no for an answer, then forget this." She pushed him away and got out of bed.

"Get back here!" he shouted.

"Or what?" She whirled around to face him, a cold glint of anger in her eyes. "This is my house! I only let you stay here out of the goodness of my heart. If you try to force me or harm me in any way, I can kill you. It would be much easier than saving you, believe me!" Having uttered that threat, she returned to the front room, leaving him unsettled, unsatisfied.

Damn her. Damn her to Tartarus. He jumped from the bed to chase after her, to press her against the rough mud-brick wall of the hut and show her what happened to those who dared to defy him, but his legs got tangled up in the sheets. By the time he went to the door, Daphne was blocking it on the other side by the bench.

"Open this door," he said.

"Go to Hades!" came Daphne's reply, as she dragged a trunk on the bench.

"Damn you, woman! Am I a child to be locked in my room whenever I misbehave?" His father had used that often, but only when Geta had been very small. Once he was grown enough to cease crying and screaming in the dark—though he never really ceased being afraid of it—his father had moved on to other, more effective forms of punishment.

"I will stop treating you like a child when you stop acting like one!"

Geta pushed at the door. It budged, though only very little, showing him a sliver of the front room. Daphne was standing there with her knife.

"Get back," she said. "Or I'll gut you like a fish." Her face was cold, and the knife glinted in her hand. He had no doubt she meant what she said.

With an enraged scream, Geta threw himself at the door at the same time that Daphne pushed the bench and the trunk back to their place. The door slammed into him with such a force that it knocked the breath clean out of him, and he went sprawling on the floor.

Panting, he picked himself up. His chest was tight again and cold sweat was breaking out on his forehead. He fell back down on the rough linen sheets, trying to catch his breath, raging at his own helplessness.

***

When he managed to fall asleep, he dreamed of his brother.

It started as the same dream of the fiery Phlegethon, the one that had been haunting him since Martialis's attack. The same faceless yet horrifyingly familiar figure rose from the flames of the river and walked toward him across the black sand, while he was pinned to the spot, unable to move, unable to look away. Then the light from the flames shone on the face, and features coalesced and took shape across the slab of skin. Features that Geta knew well. Those of his brother. Caracalla.

He was no longer the ghostly figure of Geta's fevered nightmares, but Caracalla as he had been in life, with his reddish blonde wig, powdered face, and smirking mouth to show off his gold tooth. There had been a time when Geta had looked like that, too, before he changed his image.

Geta had not dreamed of his brother for some time. Back in Rome, he'd dreamed of Caracalla almost nightly. He'd had to rely on poppy juice to ensure a dreamless sleep, though he hated how heavy and sluggish it made him the next day. While marching with his troops, he had purposefully pushed himself to the point of exhaustion, so that when he collapsed into bed, sweet Morpheus would take him in mere heartbeats, leaving no time for dreaming. Ever since he stayed with Daphne, those dreams had stopped, wiped out by the pain of his injuries and physical fatigue. Perhaps Daphne's questions earlier in the evening had brought the memories back, or perhaps his impotent anger had ignited the old rage. Whatever it was, Caracalla appeared in his dream now.

Suddenly Geta found himself able to move. He sprang at Caracalla. His hands were around Caracalla's throat, thumbs on windpipe, squeezing and crushing until Caracalla's eyes bulged and his face turned purple under all the powder and rouge. Caracalla swatted feebly with his arms, unable to push Geta off—

—then it was no longer Caracalla he was strangling, but their mother, and he wasn't strangling her. She was crying and screaming "Why?" over and over, cursing him, sending all the Furies after him, while snot and tears were running down her face. He knew then, that this was a dream, for she hadn't cried at all when he killed Caracalla. He hadn't allowed her to. No one is allowed to mourn a tyrant.

Yet knowing this was a dream did nothing to stop it. The dream continued. And in the dream, his mother slowly advanced upon him, her arms outstretched, and in them was—

—Caracalla again, his eyes blank, his blood-stained lips distorted in a horrible smile. He was dead, quite dead.

—no, he wasn't dead. Because he was whispering, while still smiling that horrible rictus smile, "How does it feel, brother? To be at the receiving end of a knife?" There was a sharp pain between his ribs, and Geta looked down to find the knife embedded in his torso, and it wasn't Caracalla's dead face looking at him, but the face of Martialis, his murderer, twisted in hatred.

He struck at Martialis. His arms got tangled in something, and he was unable to move. They must have captured him, his enemies, and were now torturing him. He struggled against those invisible bonds with a desperate cry.

"Shh," a voice said in his ears. The bonds tightened around him, but somehow they didn't cut into his skin. They were soft, warm, comforting. "Shh, it's all right," the voice continued, and it was soft and warm and comforting as well. "You're all right. I'm here."

Geta fought through the fog of the nightmare and emerged into the waking world. It was someone's arms around him, a woman's. It was a woman's voice speaking to him. Daphne. It was Daphne. She had gotten into bed with him and was now rocking him against her, trying to quiet him.

"You were having a bad dream," she said, wiping the sweat from his forehead with her hand. Her touch was so natural and so reassuring in that very naturalness, as if this was something she did all the time, and he just wanted to sink into that embrace, to forget everything, including himself. "It's all right now."

Her touch cleared the last of the fog from his mind, and he went cold with fear. Had he said something in his dream, something damning, something that gave her a hint of his true identity? No, her manner didn't indicate anything of the sort. Still, he couldn't risk it.

"Leave me," he said, his voice sounding rough and strange even to his own ears. Her arms around him stiffened, but she didn't move. "Go!" he said again, raising his voice.

Without another word, she left the bed and the room, closing the door behind her, leaving only a memory of her soft, cool hand like soothing water over his fevered brow.

Alone again in the dark room, Geta came to a decision. This would not do. It was one thing to rely on Daphne to heal his body; he could even accept relying on her for his sexual needs. But relying on her to soothe his soul, to put his heart into her hands as he'd almost done, was too dangerous. It distracted him. Why, he'd hardly thought about his plan for revenge at all that day, so preoccupied he'd been with her. Before, he'd had no choice but to stay, having been on death's door, but now that he was well—or almost well again—there was no reason to remain. It was time for him to leave.

Chapter 9

Taglist: @sheneedsrocknroll92, @justnobodynothingmore, @barcelonaloverf1life, @myotakureprieve, @flawssy-227, @itsrainingbisexualfrogs, @deliciousfestsalad (if you want to be tagged or removed, let me know!)

[venus-is-thinking]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 16: Initial Thoughts

Sorry for missing episode 15 :(

That being said, oh my god, Chapter 2 is actually complete! This is so exciting! I'm really hyped to talk about this episode and give my not-live summary of my live reactions!

SPOILER WARNING FOR DRDT THROUGH THE END OF CH 2!!!

CW: Murder, sacrifice, suicide

The Reactions

12-1, this time. I'm still personally partial to the extra vote on Teruko last Trial being Arei (being petty about her "I'm voting for you no matter what" thing), so I would assume Ace is the Teruko vote. If so, I do think it's interesting that he voted Teruko as opposed to, like, Nico. Then again, it might be that it's just more convenient for DRDTdev to consistently put the extra vote on Teruko, lol.

Notably, the dead people have "N/A," not 0. We probably could tell this because of Xander last time, but I didn't check. I wonder if this implies we won't ever need to vote for someone dead (ex. a mastermind who "died" earlier in the killing game).

I'm free... I can read whatever Eden says as genuine...

Take THAT, Whit time loop theorists /j

I do think it's funny/kinda telling? that Whit is only saying this after the trial is over. Like, I feel like the normal time to go "oh my god we're having another trial" is, like... when you find the body? So, it's interesting that his reaction is so delayed.

So, I don't know if this was an intentional parallel, but...

These feel similar to me. I really like the Ace/Arei parallels, where they're both chronically hated people, but Arei apologizes and tries to change whereas Ace lets the fear and paranoia consume him until there's no turning back. Ace only says this after he's already been found guilty of murder; Arei says this before promising to change her ways to the victim of her bullying.

Teruko out here hopping on that self-blame train.

It's so funny how different Hu's standards are when talking about Ace's murder vs. Nico's attempted murder. Like... Hu this is what everyone was telling you like an hour ago. What.

It's really interesting that we're highlighting this line. I wonder if this is part of a theme that we're going to explore further, maybe tied into the "all murderers have to be punished" thing. Or maybe Eden isn't actually accurate here, but doesn't know it; has Ace killed someone in the past?

Fun trick you can do here!

When we first met Teruko a week ago, she was the same person, certainly, but she was also different. She was happier, and she trusted people more.

There are so many good character parallels in DRDT. The Ace/Teruko one was really interesting in this post-trial.

Ooh, new flavor of J anti-murder! This seems to be broadening it to also being critical of the killing game, which would go against my weird hypothetical "J is anti-murderer but also the mastermind" read.

It's interesting, with how this is Ace's logic. It makes total sense for his character, though. I think it's easy for us, the viewers, to forget the fact that the characters probably don't have the precedent of "every blackened ever always loses." When Ace is running the odds, he thinks his survival odds were better as a killer than as a participant in the killing game. And y'know, considering how close he came to dying as Nico's victim, that's kinda fair.

I desperately want to know what Levi was going to say here.

I really like the fact that Ace DID care about Levi. That he intrinsically cares about him, but he knows factually that he isn't supposed to like or trust someone in a killing game. That once he killed Arei, he had to resolve to kill everyone in the killing game, even Levi.

The only way Ace knew to prevent himself from caring was to stay mad, I guess. Kinda unfortunate though, considering that I do think Levi wanted to patch things up with him genuinely.

Meanwhile, Levi, who doesn't understand emotions, is just like "man what the fuck. That makes no sense."

What a pair. I'm sad we're not going to get to see their dynamic anymore :(

In other words, I'm back on the Levi survivor train baby! My biggest problem with it before was that I thought Ace was gonna survive and I didn't think Ace and Levi were both gonna survive, so now we're locking tf in!

This is fun! I always wonder why more people don't try stuff like this. Like... shoot your shot. You're gonna die otherwise, soooo...

Great animation as always

I think it's really funny that Teruko is so fucking mad that she bullies Ace into action. Like, that's so fitting for both of them.

I love using this David expression here. He's just like, "was it that easy? Why was I trying to throw the trial then???"

aaaaAAAAAAAA--

What the fuck!! XF-Ture mention!!!!!!!!

I like the spooky vibe MonoTV has for this post-trial, but I do hope we get our normal silly lil guy back next chapter. I like the MonoTV personality we see all the time. I'm gonna miss it if it just died like that :(

I am also squinting so hard at everyone's reactions through "who is the mastermind" goggles. Maybe I'll analyze them in a different post sometime.

Fascinating purpose. Not "to create despair." Not "to run the killing game until only one participant survives." To kill everyone.

Does this include whichever mastermind?

Why does whoever programmed MonoTV want to kill all of these people? Are they being punished for something?

This countdown sequence fucked me up. The tensions and emotions are so high. Even as someone who was confident that Teruko, at least, wasn't going to die no matter what, I was so on edge. I got really scared that Eden was going to take the hit for Teruko, though, and that's what I was reading into when I wasn't sure Eden would make it to Chapter 3.

This speech, more than any other one Teruko has made or any actions she's taken or endured, really made me feel for Teruko. The fact that she can so casually talk about truly traumatic and horrific things happening to her, while smiling, truly shows how much she's grown used to it. Like, girl. You don't deserve this. What.

The character work on Teruko especially this episode is just fantastic. No words.

This panel stressed me out so bad because it was really just a question of WHO took the bullet for Teruko. Like, if she's thinking this, someone clearly did.

My bets were on either Eden, Charles, or Ace.

Levi, though, was such a surprise to see. Like, in a good way. It means so much.

First of all, it's a callback to the end of the prologue. Levi attacks MonoTV, and when MonoTV tries to kill him in response, Teruko's danger sense alerts her. It's only through Teruko warning Levi to move that Levi dodged the main attack, resulting in only an arm injury rather than death. Now, Levi returns her favor, preventing her from dying from attacking MonoTV.

Second, it puts Ace into the position we see of having to confront the possibility of Levi's death. I got the distinct sense that they wanted Ace to be able to do something heroic on his way out, to prove all the haters wrong (which is why I thought it was possible he'd take the hit for Teruko instead of Levi). By putting Levi, pretty clearly the person he cares most about, into harm's way, it makes Ace take action. It means that he HAS to confront the fact that he cares Levi, and that he has to die.

And, thirdly... I am so fascinated to learn why Levi did this. Was it as simple as a transactional, "you saved me from execution before?" Is it "I thought saving someone would make me a good person?" Does Levi actually feel some remorse for Teruko in this moment, causing him to take action?

No matter what his reasoning, I can't wait to hear from him. I strongly suspect Levi won't actually die from this (at the very least, I hope not, because I really want to hear more from him), but even if he does, hopefully we'll still get some more insight in a bonus episode or a flashback or something.

I'm trying to figure out what triggered Whit here.

This is immediately following "The elevator won't open," but it also definitely can just correlate to "[person] will die if they don't receive immediate medical treatment." I have to assume that something here is reminding Whit of his mom...?

With the weird "Whit knows a lot about hanging" earlier, I got the impression that Whit's mom probably hung herself. From this, I would probably theorize that Whit found her while she was still alive, but not quickly enough to save her. Yikes.

Anyways, I think that means everyone has some kind of despair sprite now! That's fun!

o7

I'm sure many have pointed this out, but do we think he's counting himself here (Arei + Ace + Levi = 3), or do we think he feels responsible for someone else's death in his past (probably Taylor)? I'd lean towards the second one.

Y'know, before I thought Arturo was just pressed about the surgeon thing because people were unfairly hating on him. This, at least, I think implies something relating to Felicity.

Arturo doesn't have any experience saving lives. He left, and Felicity died. He can't save lives; he's only responsible for Felicity's ending. I think that's how he sees it.

On a side note, I think there's a very definite possibility that Chapter 3 cold opens on Arturo saving Levi's life??? Like, how Chapter 2 started with Eden POV, I think Chapter 3 could start with Arturo taking his shot at healing Levi, eventually resulting in Levi stabilizing. I'm not sure who would be there with him. Possibly Hu, since she was leading the "let's get Levi to the infirmary" effort...?

I love executions like this. Accirax has said before that the best executions are what make their recipient feel the most despair, and that's definitely what they did with Ace here. Put the talent aside; fear is what Ace fears the most.

Uhhhh. I'm pulling an Accirax. Part 2 in reblog!

[trappedinafantasy37]

"Weeeh! I wanna recruit Minthara on a good playthrough! Weeeh! I don't like the ultimatum and want to keep both Minthara and Halsin! Weeeh! I wanna make Minthara good! Weeeh! I don't want Minthara to break up with me!" Minthara deserves more content but none of these things are at all what she needs or deserves. No, these are all things that you want for yourself, but do absolutely nothing for her. This is one of the biggest L's in the game and it will forever enrage me because I just know it will never happen.

Minthara deserves to confront Orin like all the other companions do with their abusers. She deserves to scream and yell at Orin. She deserves to cut at her the same way Orin did, make her bleed and scream in pain. Minthara deserves to torture Orin, just as she did her in the mind flayer colony. Minthara deserves the right to roll up to the Temple of Bhaal and beat the shit out of Orin with her bare hands. Leave Orin begging for mercy in which Minthara will not even give her a drop. To slam Orin down on that altar and slice her throat, offer her up as a sacrifice to the father she is so blindly devoted to.

And yes, Minthara would be afraid. She would be TERRIFIED. Despite how strong and powerful Minthara is, she is also the only one afraid of Orin. Unlike Ketheric, or Gortash, or Sarevok, she is the only one who fully acknowledges just how dangerous Orin actually is and does not underestimate her. She will walk down into that temple, intending to duel Orin with a massive disadvantage because she is terrified.

Minthara choked when seeing Orin again in the mind flayer colony. She choked when seeing Orin as an imposter, throwing her deep into the ocean of paranoia and fear. And she is so entrenched in paranoia that it actually becomes palpable to everyone around her, even you. She describes herself as paranoid, but this is the first that you actually see how paranoid she is. And she choked again when Orin kidnapped someone in camp, making her feel inadequate, making a mockery of her for being unable to protect one of her own. And every day that passes, the more and more likely that the victim is going to die and she has doubts on their survival.

At every possible avenue in which Minthara could have done something or said something about Orin, she froze in place with fear. But she's had enough. She cannot be afraid of Orin forever and she doesn't want to be. One way or another, Orin has to die and she wants to get over that fear. She needs to know that Orin is dead, for herself.

This would also make the alurlssrin confession all the more impactful. She wants to tell you that she loves you in the best way that she can because of the very high likelihood that she will never have another chance to do so. She would beg you to come with her as you give her the courage. She has the courage to face her fears and confront her tormentor, because she knows she has you in her corner. If you have the courage to stand up to the very gods themselves, then she can stand up to Orin. Romanced or not, your presence alone is enough to give her the strength to do something she would otherwise be too terrified to do.

Minthara deserves the honor to solo duel Orin in a fight to the death. Minthara deserves the right to achieve vengeance for herself. No, I do not care that this confrontation would conflict with a Durge playthrough. In fact, it would provide a phenomenal source of some interesting, and toxic, drama between Durge and Minthara. Especially if they're in a relationship. This also does not mean that Minthara killing Orin instead of Durge would not have its consequences (because it most certainly will). Even if Minthara does not fight Orin, it would be so much better if Minthara was just given the fucking chance to yell at Orin like all the other companions in their personal quests.

[oh-sturg]

TADC is about suicide and here’s why

TW : Suicide

CW : Spoilers

Okay so. First of all, this might be a cold take. Someone else might’ve done this already or come up with this theory, I haven’t watched any videos EXCEPT for the actual show. So maybe I’m late to this

Additionally, we’re only on episode 4 of season 1 I could be COMPLETELY wrong on this. I might be looking too deep, so give me a grain of salt

The circus itself is giving very. Place after death vibes. Not purgatory, or heaven, or hell. But just… somewhere people go after they die. Yes I know in the first episode Pomni says she can’t get this stupid headset off so hey, maybe she’s still alive?? I DONT KNOW FOR SURE but maybe the headset is giving her a glimpse into the afterlife?

That, or it’s some kind of therapy program

IGNORING THAT

All of the main cast act like stereotypes of suicide victims, maybe it’s just me

Jax is an asshole, that much is obvious. We haven’t been given many inclinations into whether or not he has a softer side, but he seems to be compensating for something. It could be insecurity

Gangle is assumed to have been a shift manager at either a fast food restaurant or some other similar chain job, and it’s implied she wanted artist only to be told her dreams were unrealistic. Something that some people don’t know about people who are suicidal is that they can become extremely happy before going through with it, which we see with Gangle in episode 4 before she’s hit by a truck. Now the truck thing could be an accident, but she literally leans into the road. She looks surprised to see the truck, and maybe she was unaware of her surroundings at the time, but it could be that she also was surprised to go through the same experience again. She literally says that she snapped under the pressure of the job and responsibility. Could be headcanon. There’s also the whole masking emotions thing which is quite literal in its presentation

Ragatha is obviously toxicly positive. She tries to make things better and look on the bright side of things. She’s courteous and compassionate, but there’s no way she can be like that constantly. It’s just not humanly possible. Gangle says in episode 4 it’s hard to tell when she’s being genuine after you spend a lot of time with her, so perhaps it’s a coping method? Or a habit? In the pilot episode/episode 1, she literally tells Pomni she understands if she leaves her behind while she’s in pain. Maybe I’m misremembering, but she values others over herself. After a certain point that becomes exhausting. You can’t do it anymore

Zooble clearly goes through body dysmorphia as seen in episode 3. They don’t like their body, no matter how many times they can change it. This could also be a gender dysphoria thing, but we don’t see a lot of their relationship with their gender other than their pronouns being non-binary

Kinger is one I struggle with a little bit. We know he had a relationship with Queenie, and now she’s gone, but we don’t know if that relationship started in the circus or before either of them were brought into it. What we do know for sure is that he’s paranoid. In his first appearance the cast literally speculates that he will be the one to abstract next, with abstraction being the product of heavy dissociation. Sure, he’s not all paranoia and fear, but he’s wary. He’s a kind soul who broke under everything

Caine’s influence in all this is that he’s someone who isn’t depressed or suicidal. He’s the person who tries to fix those people, but goes about it in the wrong way. He’s trying to take their mind off of what makes them suicidal by shifting their attention. When they try to open up to him, he doesn’t understand their issues because he just isn’t suicidal like they are/were. Like Ragatha, he’s toxicly positive and tries to change the topic when things like that come up. Think of someone who doesn’t want you to show symptoms of mental illness around them because they “don’t like it” or “are offput” by it

That’s really all I’ve got on this. Again, I could be wrong or I might be totally late to the party but I can’t get this out of my head so

[foolishsweet]

Ok so the person down (@/aoyogu) made Opposite Day VBS and the person Up (@/kleinnsed) made Opposite Day WxS in the quotes. And what I like about it is that Tsukasa would still be the perfect leader for this group, and also hilariously the most optimistic in comparison.

The rest of this post is a LONG idea of how their dynamic works and how things could work out:

Emu: I don't know why my sister hired you all. there is no point doing any of this... Wonder stage is doomed either way...

Tsukasa: ...So? If it's so hopeless then there is no reason NOT to do whatever you want with it is there?

Emu: ...I guess...

Rui: YOU DON'T GET IT. THERE ARE SAFETY RESTRICTIONS AND RULES THAT WE HAVE TO FOLLOW FOR THIS. LOOK AT THIS PLACE. THERE IS NO WAY WE CAN DO A SHOW HERE WITHOUT FIXING IT!!!

Tsukasa: ok so let's fix it then...

Rui: oh yeah? With what money?!?! They are already planning to tear this place down, there is no way we are gonna get any support for this!!!

Tsukasa: Aren't we already hired tho?... Can't we threaten to sue for making us work in "this" conditions or something...?

Rui: I-! I am-!...... You... You have a point... >:(

Nene: UWAAAAaaaa b-b-but- what if something goes wrong?!? If one of us forgets out lines?!?!? O-o-or if it rains that day?!?!! Or the lights fall off??!?!! Or the STAGE BREAKS INTO A FIRE?!?!? OR THE AUDIENCE HATES IT AND WE GET BOOED AND GET TOMATOES TROW-

Tsukasa: **shrugs** idk we try again I guess... If the stage breaks we can ask to get it fixed... Or just do the show outside...

Nene: oh... R-right...

Rui: Outside? WITHOUT PERMITS?!?!? ARE YOU SOME DELINQUENT?!?!?!

Tsukasa: *shrugs again*

Nene: B-b-bit what of the police come arrest us?!?!!

Tsukasa: Emu can bail us out...

Emu: I won't.

Tsukasa: that's fair...

Like, I think they could get past the main story. they would be a Troupe that brings smiles by using the catharsis of tragedies, making people feel seen and have their fears and worries be represented in ridiculously dramatic ways that make them look so simple and mundane, making them laugh with tragicomedy.

And maybe they won't be able to save the Wonder stage, but they could continue, if nothing to reuse WxS theme of death and rebirth, Emu seeing that her dreams to protect Wonder stage die, yet still going forward, instead of protecting, she rediscovers the magic that died with her grandpa, ironically thanks to Tsukasa, of doing things that make people smile for no real reason other than because you feel like it.

It would also work so well with Rui's backstory, that he became a lot more stricter with rules to avoid being alienated from shows, yet also became a lot more judging of people because of mistrust and paranoia, thus he is still seen as a weirdo. Yet, he meets a bigger weirdo being Tsukasa, who just does what he feels like and doesn't talk much so people avoid him. So now we get another reverse of canon where their relationship is Tsukasa doing or suggesting things that are beyond the norm and Rui going crazy stressed, thinking of how to do the things this guy is proposing without breaking something (be it the preformer or the law) but secretly loves it bc he still gets to do amazing shows.

Then Ruinene are a stress bomb, with Nene worrying about everything and Rui taking all of her concerns so seriously he stresses himself out too. Nene has practically the same arc even, with her becoming braver and seeing Tsukasa as a rival to her ambition while also secretly admiring him for his willingness to just, do things. And how she wants to do the same and MORE without being so scared of everything.

And then there is Tsukasa, who seems like he doesn't care and really doesn't at first, who forgot his ambition when he saw that he couldn't make his sister smile no matter what he did and became indifferent to everything (but not apathetic). He is helping Emu because "what's there to lose?", it's a way to waste time for him doing something interesting, or so he tells himself. He tells Rui of what he is thinking of doing because "it's not like he is gonna stop me", unknowingly planting a seed of trust. He tells Nene not to worry, "We all fail, it doesn't mean anything", words that have given him the courage to continue too. And, gradually...

Saki: big brother, you are doing a lot these days...

Tsukasa: not really... I'm just doing what I like...

Saki: yeah but, you look like you are putting a lot of effort.

Tsukasa: ...you think?... It doesn't feel that way...

Saki: but it looks like it. ...you really care a lot about your new troupe, don't you?

Tsukasa: well no- i don- I'm- ... ...... .........? ??? ??????? *Blue screens*

[yanderes-galore]

Hi would it be alright to request romantic yandere Anakin hcs who’s Jedi darling asked him to leave the Jedi order/council with her, cause she doesn’t want to be part of the war any more please 🙏

This request is very similar to one I did here, just that one was platonic and for Clone Wars. I will take a more general approach with this one :) Excited to write more Anakin. I used the plot/backstory of the platonic request but tweaked so please enjoy!

Yandere! Anakin has so much potential....

Yandere! Anakin with Jedi! Darling asking him to leave the order

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Violence, Mutual relationship turned forced, Implied intimacy, Paranoia, Dark themes, Imprisonment mentioned, Threats, Implied kidnapping/coercion, Kissing.

In terms of backstory, you and Anakin are both Jedi working for the order.

In fact this can be the same backstory as the Clone Wars Anakin concept I did except romantic.

Which would be you both knew each other from your Padawan days and grew up alongside each other.

So this is essentially an AU where you become Anakin's romantic interest.

Jedi shouldn't have such strong personal connections but he can't help but fall for the young Padawan woman he's grown up with.

You two are inseparable, often training with each other or speaking with one another.

Perhaps your relationship starts mutual.

Anakin has fallen for you and you fall for him over time.

Your relationship has to be secret yet you make do.

Having an already established relationship may just make Anakin's obsession worse.

It's seen in the prequels that Anakin is someone driven by emotion.

He's scared to lose those he loves.

Anakin would also be the first to sense you not liking the war going on.

By the time you wish to leave, Anakin knows you inside and out.

He often meets you in private for "training", when in reality you both share intimacy.

Anakin is addicted to every kiss you give him and he loves your warmth and soft skin.

You're his girl, his woman, and he loves you with all his heart.

He's a man willing to do anything to keep you happy and safe.

In fact part of him constantly worries you'll be in danger due to being a Jedi Knight like him.

If anything his fear skyrockets at the idea of you being killed... especially later on.

When you tell Anakin you wish to leave The Order, he's on edge about it.

He stresses out and he's worried you're trying to leave him.

By this point you're either his girlfriend or wife, depends on if this is around Clone Wars or the third prequel.

He vents these worries to you in private.

He worries he's doing something wrong.

But that just isn't true, you hate all the fighting.

You don't know which side tells the truth and wish to leave... maybe even have your own family.

The idea of having a family with you make Anakin's heart flutter.

The idea of protecting you as his cute little house wife is an idea that pleases him.

Yet he hates the idea of leaving you alone.

Then you drop a bomb.

You want him to leave The Order with you.

Deep down, Anakin really does want to abandon everything and run off with you.

He wants to have a family, he wants to have kids, he wants to keep you safe as his wife and your husband.

At the same time he's still dedicated to The Order.

At first he ignores your offer, instead distracting you with a kiss and tight hug.

He can't ignore it for long unfortunately.

You echo the question back to him, a frown on your face.

One way or another you may leave The Order without Anakin.

He just can't abandon things right now.

The relationship/love for Anakin dies down for you as you make your case and leave for somewhere private.

To make this more yandere and dramatic let's say Anakin comes back to find you after he's joined the Dark Side but before he fought Obi-Wan.

Anakin would've convinced Palpatine to spare you from Order 66 as you will no longer be a problem.

I also have a feeling you left The Order and Anakin for a reason greater than just the war.

Perhaps you had visions of what he'd do in the future.

As a result you tried to change things, but to no avail.

However, Anakin was never ready to just let you go.

You most likely sense his presence, it's darker from the last time you saw him.

His desire for you is darker, he did what he could to prevent your death due to Order 66.

He chose darker power to protect you and now he's finally returned to you.

It was a trial to find where you went but he guessed it was so no one found you.

But Anakin would always find you... he knows how to sense you.

His presence frightens you when he makes his way to your planet with Clone Troopers at his side.

You ask him if he'll kill you, you ask him why he couldn't just forget you after he left.

He made his decision... you made yours... what does he want?

Anakin reassures you he isn't going to kill you, in fact he made you an exception to the Order 66 rule.

No... Anakin came to collect you.

If you had kids then he'll take them too.

Their fate is unknown, however....

Anakin has just missed you so much and regrets not following you back then.

Maybe you had a point to leave....

Yet, Anakin is here now to love and adore you just like before.

You're stiff in his arms when he embraces you, kissing near your neck and cheek while whispering how much he missed you.

Things can be different now, he'll make it different.

He threatens you to not fight him on this.

If you fight him then he'll have to call for your imprisonment.

He's worked hard to make things perfect for the both of you.

Sure, he's given into the Dark Side, but you'll still love him, right?

Of course you will....

There's no need to be hiding from anyone now... he'll protect you as he did before.

Even if you're imprisoned due to no longer loving him and he's cast into lava... he'll probably still care for you somewhere in his heart until you die.

[kaythefloppa]

MUFASA: THE LION KING LIVEBLOG/THOUGHTS [SPOILERS]

Today, Mufasa: The Lion King has released worldwide in theaters. Within the hours of being unleashed upon the world as the latest entry in the Lion King franchise and in the Disney movie lineup, the movie has become available online.

As someone who has been anticipating this film since the day it was greenlit in September of 2020, now I can finally watch it to see if it was worth the hype, if it succeeds my expectations, or if it sucks (it does not).

Also, I should preface this by saying that I am not walking in semi-blind. I was not immune to spoilers, some of which I voluntarily exposed myself to, others were stumbled upon without any warning or disclaimer, but this is still my full thoughts on the film as I watch it for the first time in proper.

SPOILERS BELOW.

I think anyone and their grandma can see Pride Rock next to the Disney castle in the opening. It's not really much to say, but in this movie specifically, I smile noticing it.

It was announced that the film would pay tribute to James Earl Jones in the opening. I was not surprised by that, and I definitely shouldn't be surprised hearing his archived recordings in the opening but... goddamn.

LEBO M HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU. Much like in the original and Simba's Pride, he is the first voice you hear in the story and god it fits.

A lot of people have pointed out how unlike the 2019 remake of TLK, this film has a wide array in emotions, expressions, and life, focusing more on actually being an animated story rather than being a nature documentary (eat it John Favereau). This entire opening solidifies that fact and I think this bears repeating as to what one of this film's biggest strengths are.

SIMBA HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!

People have made comparisons to Narnia and Jungle Book when it comes to everything the remake got wrong. I'm making those comparisons to praise this movie specifically, I'm getting those vibes.

Nala is out here doing what we all should be doing; Touching grass.

Also Simba and Nala really be out here making long distance work. I love them so f*cking much and I hate hate hate how we're not going to see much of them in the story [for reasons that are perfectly valid, especially if you know how the movie ends which... we'll get to that]

I listened to the soundtrack before watching this film; It slaps so much. It's everything you would want in a theatrical Lion King sequel, so hearing it in the ACTUAL movie, that's astonishing.

Oh look... Timon and Pumbaa are here. Which is nice cause I'm a huge fan of Timon and Pumbaa (I stand by the fact that Lion King 3 is arguably the most god-tier of all Disney sequels) but.... Seth Rogan warthog..

"And that one three-legged zebra." Fuck that's actually pretty dark and I love it.

Kiara exists in this film. I was at first upset that they were retreading earlier ground but... I'm cool with it now. Not exactly what I would've done, but I can nod heads with it.

I get that Timon and Pumbaa overexaggerate things (a later joke in the film would confirm that) but I don't see why Simba is against the idea of them telling her stories. I think any child would be okay with that, even with the circumstances happening. Then again, this could be an indicator of Simba's paranoia and fearing that Kiara could go through the same thing. Jesus, no matter what universe this guy is in he is still traumatized, got-damn.

Oh wait I take it back I fucking love that Kiara is in this film, she is adorable.

Simba really had a glow-up from having a kid.

We all knew that Timon and Pumbaa fighting Scar in the trailers was just them fucking around, so I don't need to comment more on this. I will point out how one of my predictions for the remake was seeing Pumbaa defend Simba from Scar seeing as how warthogs can often square up against lions in real life. So, even in the context of a Timon and Pumbaa joke that makes zero sense, I'm still vindicated.

As someone who had an INTENSE fear of thunder and lightning as a child and.... still has somewhat of an aversion thereof as an adult, I can very much resonate with Kiara's reaction to the storm.

"We sing that song for 6 years straight." I'm going to ignore that line just so that I can continue to headcanon Lion King characters aging by humans (I am coping and seething rn)

RAFIKI HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU.

Rafiki in this film reminds me of my grandfather I cannot stop smiling every time he goes on screen, I want to hug him.

"Ceremonial birthing grounds" Holy SHIT I was not expecting such lore early on. Bravo Berry Jenkins.

John Kani is KILLING this role as Rafiki. I would easily use this as another opportunity to dunk the remake but I'm too distracted by how good this performance is and how it fits the character so well. I'm the furthest thing from a Disney shill, but I would unoequivcally watch a four-season prequel spin-off series about Rafiki if one ever came out, and I have this goddamn movie to blame.

This is gonna be a running theme but Rafiki has some of the best lines in this movie. What the fuck was Jenkins smoking and can I have it? /pos.

They played the This Land theme whilst Kiara talks about how she could never be brave like her granddad and father. The parallels....

Aand here we go, Mufasa backstory time! I mean, you'd have to ignore the three existing backstories that already exist but then again, all of them suck ass," so here we fucking goooooooo.

I really dislike when movies use "moons" as a time indicator because like, what does that mean? Does it literally mean a lunar cycle of nearly 30 days? Months? Years? I'm thinking way too much into this aren't I?

YEAAAH TITLE CARD BABEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY. WE ARE SO FUCKEN BAACK.

Goddamn I remember that one frame of Mufasa and his parents being released and it was so stupid. It looks even dumber seeing it to motion but damn it it looks so cute in a way!

Aww, look at how much Mufasa loves his parents. I hope these characters survive all the way to the end of the film without any major catastroph-yeah no, I can't even fucking finish it.

Milele is a good enough song with the vocals, but the visuals are really what hammer it home for me. The wide arrays of gold, pinks, purples, and greens, it brings life into this world, showcases the beauty of Africa, and emphasizes the dreamy aspect of the song. Also, you get Keith motherf*cking David singing in a Lion King movie, game respects game.

Also the T(He)y Lives in You reference was very well put together.

Mufasa chasing a butterfly being a reference to Kiara chasing a butterfly in Simba's Pride!!

I already knew Mufasa's father was gonna die in this but seeing him play with Mufasa, goddamn you Disney. Your never-ending patricide may be predictable, but it will never not tug my heart-strings.

I don't know who this giraffe is but I love them already.

Man, we've really come a long way since Simba's blank expression at the stampede, huh? Nature is fucking healing.

DAM(N)

Bisexual lighting in the water spotted.

You can hear Nants Ingonyama when Mufasa is submerged underwater! Deep cut.

Honestly, the hippos just glancing at Mufasa and swimming past him is hilariously dickish and it makes me forgive how they haven't immediately chomped him /j

Here's Taka (UGGGGGHHH ~ Sorry, I had to get that one out, they could've chosen any other name for him)

From day 1, Scar has always been a little shit lmao.

This doesn't mean anything on any scale, but I would've replaced the crocodiles with hippos. Would've been more scary.

Taka getting Mufasa up is directly contrast to how he will eventually kill him. This movie is going to try and yank my heart-strings out of my chest won't it?

"All important nap of kings." Bro's just like me fr.

Oh wait god I take it all back he's not like me fr HE'S NOT LIKE ME FR.

If I had a nickel for every recent piece of Lion King media that depicts cannibalism with the subtlety of a chainsaw to the pelvis, I'd have 2 nickels, which isn't a lot but WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE 2 FUCKING NICKELS?!?!?! TWO!?!?

"Do you know what Mufasa means? It means King!" Erhm actually, Mufasa has no direct meaning in Swahili. It's a mix between Mfalme (which is the direct Swahili translation for "King" and the last pre-colonial King of Buganda called Mutisa. Obasi's clearly got his lions crossed. *cinemasins ding*

I love how Mufasa is clearly laughing and joking around as this adult lion is actively trying to fucking murder him. Either he is that oblivious to the danger that he is in, or he is actively trolling this asshole. If it's the latter, or even both, I love it.

I have a feeling that Obasi has actually murdered other outsider cubs before, or maybe even succeeded in sabotaging their initiation rituals so he can eat them. I get that the whole "lions killing cubs that aren't their own" is a part of nature but apply human behavior to that and you can see how sick this is. Not to mention, Taka would have probably been in proxy to these and... shit, no wonder he turned out to be a nasty piece of work.

Oh so THIS is the challenge that Scar was mentioning in the remake.

The PTSD flashbacks jumpscared me.

Oh my god the close up of Mufasa... peak fucking fiction.

Omg that one scene in the trailer of Mufasa leaping from the tree is in the movie- aaaand he is going ass over teakettle afterwards lmao.

The little "I Always Wanted a Brother" instrumental playing when Taka helps Mufasa out of the water🥺

"You will keep him with the females" oh that's not.....

The entiredy of "I Always Wanted a Brother" is amazing. The lyrics cleverly delve into Scar and Mufasa's individual personalities and traits that'll magnify in their adulthood, as well as their growing relationship, and the visuals feel alive as ever with the chorus and beat topping it all off. Lin Manuel Miranda cooked here and I am not afraid to admit it. This song is the best in the entire movie and is everything one would look for in a Lion King prequel. No wonder the marketing loved this song so much.

Also, Mufasa: The Lion King proudly continues the tradition of A) musical numbers with background animal choreography and B) transitions to show characters aging. We truly have come full Circle [Of Life]

Ok but this entire song is way funnier when it's essentially these animals saying "Get your ass back home" to these two little shits.

"Some things you chase but you cannot hold." That line is DEFINITELY a double-meaning and applies to both brothers. For Taka, it refers to how he can't keep/gain the power he obtains + the object of his desires as much as he tries and for Mufasa, it means he won't be able to maintain the relationship with his adoptive brother. The failure to practice this philosophy leads to both of their downfalls so what is at first a cute lyric becomes very dark in retrospect and I have to applaud the songwriter if he was intentional with that.

Ok so if Obasi doesn't allow outsiders and since he values blood and all, then I'm assuming these other male lions are related to him. I'm gonna guess that they're his brothers and/or cousins.

The animals singing in a circle around Mufasa and Taka reminds me a lot of high school dance circles, it's very funny (and also sweet that the animals and Taka are singing for Mufasa).

You heard of the boy who cried wolf; Well here's the lion who cried elephant. (Also, 10/10 prank).

"They did it [the prank] again!" I think the saying goes, "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." Also I was half-expecting an ACTUAL elephant stampede to knock them down, ;p

"You want to be with the females?" I have no jokes for this, I am legitimately disgusted with how mysoginistic Obasi is and yeah, that's definitely the point, but like, I was NOT expecting that. I guess maybe they needed to emphasize how Taka had such a shitty role model growing up and that a large part of his fall to darkness was not learning how sick and wrong this line of thinking is, and objectively that is good writing when handling such a topic, especially since again, the movie is very much against this and to a lesser degree, it's an origin story I guess I'm just taken by surprise at the sudden mysoginy, and at the end of the day, did we really need this character to be a PodcastBro™ to get the idea that he's not supposed to be someone we root for? Or is it really not that deep and I'm thinking too much into this?

Eshe is such a good mother to Mufasa, helping him home into his senses to hunt, and even offering to help Mufasa find his parents. I think this is a good contrast between Mufasa and Taka when it comes to the nurture part of nature vs. nurture. It's also an interesting mirror to the fan-portrayals of their relationships with their parents as it's usually Taka/Scar being close to his mother and Mufasa being close to his father.

I see a lot of Tarzan similarities here and I think you can notice them well. That being said, Tarzan is also peak fiction that I look fondly towards, and this movie is also looking really good so far, so there is nothing but adoration.

Timon and Pumbaa reacting to Mufasa's line of being a stray with no responsibilities, calling him "one of us" all but confirms that if he was still alive today, they would 100% be friends.

"Hakuna Mufasa" essentially means "There is no Mufasa." I.e. what a good chunk of Simba's childhood was like. Shit, I'm pretty sure Rafiki even knew the fucked up implications of that when he interrupted them.

Timon and Pumbaa I love you but please shut the fuck up right now.

I think everyone has made the Kimba jokes, so I'm just going to say how two white lions would NOT stand out in a sea of tall tannish green grass.

This entire hunting scene is the definition of tension. No dialogue, just music.

Oh, the trailers outright baited us into thinking Eshe was gonna sacrifice herself to save Mufasa. Well played Disney.... well played.

Damn, Taka is horrified as shit.

Go for the juglar Mufasa! The jugular!!

The framing of the scene goes by quick, but I think the implication is that Kiros's son got straight up impaled by one of the branches on the dead tree when Mufasa knocked him down... we're only half an hour into this 2 hour film and we already have a kill count of 3 characters, one of which by the titular.

Ngl, I was hoping/expecting Mufasa to be the aggressor in the fight to try and scare off the lions and this would be how he learns that "being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble." And/or that Eshe potentially sacrificing herself would be what gives him that reality check. But either way, as is, this fight scene did demonstrate bravery as a quality of Mufasa in a good way.

"I owe you a great debt" yeah you also owe him an apology for refusing to take any parental custody over him, for the emotional neglect, for your misogyny-driven alienation of him, and oh yeah, trying to FUCKING CANNIBALIZE HIM.

I mean in fairness to the white lion, what the fuck was he supposed to do? Mufasa LITERALLY impaled Sachu.

Obasi lying to protect Taka reminds me of Rameses offering to lie to absolve Moses of his murder. Also, once again, this scene does very well to point out how Taka's upbringing played a role in his eventual fall from grace without making him an abused woobie stripped of any character.

I was gonna complain about how the Outsiders are a thing in this movie but the fact that they are evidently not Zira's pride and also have an explanation to their existence makes it hard to complain.

Ok so the first act of the film is kinda rushed, I'll admit that. Guess they had to go on the journey pretty quick.

So far, Timon and Pumbaa's commentary has ranged from somewhat funny to cringeworthy. Why exactly are they involved in this plot? Or, if they had to be, why not Sarabi and Zazu who actually partook in this story we're being told. You could get alot of colorful dynamics that would add both extra comedy and emotion to the story. I'm getting this out of the way now because even though there's a later scene that is juxstaposed to this, it still confuses me a bit.

"Yours is the last pride of the valley of kings" woah, that actually means Kiros has killed other prides before. This is straight up the lion equivalent of imperialism.

"Everything the light touches belongs to me," well what about when it's dark out? Ever thought of that, asshole? Obasi could easily lawyer up and kick your ass back to the swamp /j

"There will be one ruler. One, Lion King." He said it, he said the thing!

Not gonna lie, Kiros's villain song, Bye-Bye sounds like it was pulled from Jake and the Never Land Pirates. But then again, that show's soundtrack is fucking awesome, as is this film's soundtrack, as is this song. The vocals and lyrics are deliciously villainous and the beat is haunting. My only gripe is that it's too short, and the movie's version of the song doesn't include the background vocals like the soundtrack version. That and the visuals aren't as stunning as I imagined but, still, it's a good villain song! And for a song titled "Bye-Bye" of all things that is a feat.

Man, I thought I was actually gonna see Kiros kill Obasi and Eshe. I mean it's obvious that he did but, showing it on screen would've really hammered home the idea that he doesn't mess around. But instead we smash cut to the brothers running away. LAME!!!!!!!

"They live in you now" oh that hits so hard.

Aquaphobic Mufasa canon???

"It's not my fault crocodiles are simply attracted to you," tell me why my mind instantly went to a visual of Pua x Mufasa (and why I can somehow buy that???)

"My scent? I've been stalking you two all night." Sarabi how I have missed you.

ZAZU HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU.

Sarabi royalty confirmed.

I once saw a theory that Rafiki (a mandrill) was raised by baboons, which explains why he has no qualms with being called one, and gives a new perspective to his phrase "you're a baboon, and I'm not." To whoever came up with that theory, you are a goddamn prophet.

Again, I think all of this goes by way too fast, I think a few more minutes establishing this troop along with Rafiki's character traits and behaviors and THEN hitting us with the tragic fall-out would've worked a lot better.

"Born with a leg that does not work," that explains the walking stick he has in the movie.

"It was Rafiki who found water in the dry season!" Six New Adventures reference!

Rafiki is fucking hilarious.

''A single stick may smoke, but it will never burn." Once again, Rafiki is the best fucking character in this entire film.

Did... Zazu just break the fourth wall???

"I am not a baboon. I am a mandrill." It took us 30 fucking years for a Lion King movie to address this, god bless.

"No offense, but a monkey is a monkey," Mufasa racist moment /j

Rafiki and Mufasa's discussion at the pool is so good. Once again, it has that natural Lion King narrative DNA in it and it speaks a lot about both characters as part of an origin story. Both characters are very heavy key players in the classic Lion King stroy, so this scene does them a GREAT deal of justice.

"I have a report! It's morning." Ok, funny joke.

"Hallucinating baboon!" Sarabi racist moment /j

This plot really knows how to connect together, via using Eshe's sensory training to help dodge Kiros's team.

We Go Together is an amazing song. It's very good for a road-trip/buddy movie, and, not unlike Hakuna Mtata from the original, is a very good palatte cleanser from the story's more darker elements. The characters have enough time to shien in their own ways and the overlaps of their lyrics is kinda growing on me. I substract points for the stupid-ass love triangle bit they imply and trust me, we will get to that when we get to that.

You know that one scene in kids' shows and movies where it is nothing but unabashed second-hand embarassment and/or cringe. The entire scene where Mufasa gives Taka love advice for Sarabi, and Taka's attempts to kiss-up to her is exactly that. If it's not completely uncomfortable to listen to, it's BO-RING. And I wish it was just a one-off gag that meant fuck-all in the end but I've listened to the soundtrack and got spoilered on a later element in the film that just does not help.

Seeing the elephant herd reminds me of when my sister and I were in Africa and saw an entire herd, moms and their babies pass by. On that same vacation, my grandpa and I also saw an elephant pass the road. Huge disclaimer, never piss them off.

Sarabi rendered an entire colony of bees homeless and more than likely killed a good amount of elephants by getting them stung. That's not very Circle of Life of her.

Mufasa saving Sarabi's life!! That man is her HUSBAND.

Ah yes, the epic tale of Rafiki's stick. The mythos of the stick has finally been revealed. This is the REAL Lion King lore I signed up for. Barry Jenkins you are too good.

On one hand Mufasa lying to make Taka look good is an interesting character study. On the other hand.... that stupid fucking love triangle that this builds up to. I hate it so much, SO MUCH. Replace the payoff with ANYTHING ELSE, and I'd be okay with this. Ugh!

Rafiki, Kiara, Timon, and Pumbaa's hug is great. Rafiki explaining the sad reality of social alienation, relating it to his experiences, followed up by Timon and Pumbaa lightening the mood but adding to that emotion with them being outsiders. I knew it wouldn't be long until I started to love them being in this film. Take your crown you kings, you earned it!

Oh my god Mufasa has hella PTSD here, it's a really good representation of it.

Zazu's a real one here, covering up the tracks.

I. Fucking. Love. Rafiki.

"Mufasa, I gotch'u." I headcanon those were Sarabi's wedding vows. No one can prove me wrong.

I thought Mufasa and Sarabi's romance would be a bit rushed here and to be fair... it almost does??? It's not the whole center of the story, and Sarabi is able to stand out as a character on her own outside of the love story. As for their love story itself, it's very well put together with enough screentime and it feels real. Oh and their love song is also pretty great. We were WELL overdue with a Mufasa/Sarabi love song and this movie did not fail to deliver.

Also, Sarabi figuring out on her own that Mufasa saved her and being able to pick up on all of his genuinely best qualities, that's like really impressive, and it's actually a neat twist on the 'liar revealed' trope.

Okay, now here's my allotted time to talk about one of the things I was dreading seeing in this film and am unfortunate enough to be right seeing. The stupid Mufasa/Scar/Sarabi love-triangle. I hate it. I hate how one of the only major changes the remake had to its story was adding that love triangle to give 'depth' to the characters, when in reality, it diminished the characters by not having more for the story to speak about them, made the tension between them flat by consequence, and the remake never resolves this in a meaningful way. Plus it is BORING as hell. And now the movie is apparently using that same love triangle once again, as a MAJOR plot-point. Not only that, but the fact that Taka immediately snaps and goes villain after seeing his crush go after his brother... what the hell are ya even doing man?

The first act of the film gives us a lot of elements to go off of for his villain arc. Being spoiled by his parents, poor parental influence, being a control freak, maybe we see more signs that Taka blames Mufasa for his parents getting killed, or holds him responsible for it, or heck, even his guilt/inferiority complex that stems from the trauma of running away when his mother was in a life-or-death situation. So many other things that could result in a complex but constructive beginnings of a villain, and yet it's this stupid underbaked love triangle, this one isolated moment that changes the trajectory of his entire character arc and oh my god I hate it, I hate it so much. Nevertheless, Brother Betrayed is a good song.

Seeing Taka throw a tantrum over his crush not liking him back and later falling into the snow is cathartic as hell. I want to see this little turd lose.

So he teams up with the white lions... after they killed both his parents and caused him to be banished from his home... not to mention, they tried to kill him?? Unless he's tricking them somehow so he could get close enough to take them out, this is incredibly stupid. I don't care if this snivelling little shit gets punched in the face, but also as is, this is bad writing.

Taka laying out scars to lead the villains to their location. Now THAT is clever foreshadowing.

Pumbaa your husband is right next to you, why are you pretending not to like love 😭😭😭

That is a cool ass background.

The shots of the Pride Lands matching the visions of Milele. This movie knows how to use its visuals.

Man I remember all the theories saying that the big tree in Milele was the Tree of Life from the Lion Guard, or that somehow Milele was always Mufasa's adopted home. Still, magnificent.

I think all of us could predict Rafiki and Mufasa having a brotherly bond. I like how the theme of this movie involves family in ways other than biological relation. I think the brotherhood theme could've been used with Zazu as well, but this is sooooooo cuuuteee!!!

Wait how do the animals know the Outsiders are hunting Mufasa? Did the Outsiders terrorize Milele before? Did they somehow 'sense' the Outsiders' presence like Eshe taught Mufasa to? I like where this is going but there's no reason for them to have that much frame of reference to our protagonists' plight.

Kiros is truly horrifying.

"There are other lions here," wait, so maybe they're members of Sarabi's pride? Hmmm....

"Sarabi chose you... just like my mother, just like my own father." Uhm,,, what??? Obasi never 'chose' Mufasa for anything over Taka. And Mufasa was assigned to Eshe by Obasi. Sure, the dude may have looked Mufasa in a higher regard after the rescue but that is NOT the equivalent of preference? In fact, the very last thing Obasi said to Taka was to preserve the bloodline by outright lying to everyone. Did I miss something??

Hell yeah fight fight fight.

Is... IS THAT SARAFINA AND A YOUNG NALA IN THE PRIDE LANDS??? HOLY SHIT.

Mufasa uniting the animals together in a war rally... PEAK FICTION. This entire speech is peak levels of badass.

Mufasa said Nants ingonyama bagithi. The opening lines to Circle of Life HOLY FUCK BARRY JENKINS COOKED.

Only a villain like Kiros can make the phrase "Bye-Bye" sound menacing.

Zazu be out here using 0.001% of his full power.

W shoebill character (still sad that there's no caracal yet).

I think Zazu could offer a lot more in the final battle, like say, rallying the birds together and raining hell upon the lionesses, poking them with sticks or dropping rocks. He's gotten a decent enough amount of screentime but this climax should've really brought it home.

BEAT HIS ASS MUFASA. BEAT. HIS. MOTHER. FUCKING. ASS.

Okay, fine, give Taka some brownie points for standing in the way, but he still fucking deserves that scar. Fuck you Taka.

Also, the remake implies that Mufasa gave Scar his scar in the challenge, but it never outright said so, and TLK has always been a loose cannon when it came to... well, canon; So I can buy Kiros giving him the scar. I actualy can't believe that my prediction on Taka taking the bullet for Mufasa actually came true! Mark that off the bingo card!!!

The entire climax/stand-off/showdown has little to no dialogue and BY GOD does it ever work here. Mufasa and Taka looking at each other with clear emnity in their eyes, and then channeling all of their rage into their common foe to tag-team him. So much emotion.

"The earth will shake." LET. HIM. COOK.

And scratch "Pride Rock being formed by and earthquake that crushes the villain" off the bingo card.

Mufasa overcoming his water trauma by remembering Eshe's words to sense the rock that he'll use to crush Kiros into the water.

Ok y'all say it with me: Bye Bye Kiros!

I know this is a big emotional moment that shows the last of Taka's humanity and parallels with his first and last encounter with Mufasa.... but the HESITATION to help him, mixed with the clear anger at the beginning would've been enough to make me banish the dick.

See, Mufasa became king after proving his worth of leadership. There is no "he stole the throne/his brother's girlfriend" BS. You Buzzneed nerd-wannabees can fuck off now.

Oh look, I see some hyenas in the crowd. I wonder what their origin stories will be in this Lion King prequel!

"No more Kings, we are all one," setting aside TLK 2 reference, Mufasa is based for implying a democracy.

Are.... are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! AFIA IS ALIVE???!!! MUFASA'S MOM IS ALIVE!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!!

Ok I'm conflicted. On one end, I don't like the fake-out death trope, especially when it's used at the end of films. On the other hand... Afia's presence really ties the themes and plot of 'Milele' together and it ~ really works. But still, imagine if Mufasa was visited by the spirit of his mother after becoming king, mirroring Mufasa's later divine intervention for his son. That would've worked so much better. Wasted potential af.

Also, if Afia's alive... who was the lion in the stars Mufasa saw during "I Always Wanted a Brother."

Oh... OH. OH GOD. MY HEART. R.I.P. MASEGO.

Whilst I still think keeping Afia dead would've been more effective, leaving Masego dead and keeping her alive adds an element of tragedy into the story, and the "He Lives in You" callback is well-equipped here.

Fuck you Taka you little shit.

I always took issue with the remake's backstory for Scar implying that he got his scar in a fight with Mufasa; Because if Scar already challenged Mufasa once, why does Mufasa trust him enough to depend on him or let his son romp around the place near him, even if he sticks around bc of "brotherhood." Whilst I don't mind that the remake 'retconned' that story (especially since it wasn't confirmed), I still take issue with that here; Again, if Taka had lied to Kiros, or did something to indicate that he wasn't on his side/wasn't truly against Mufasa, or if Taka could lie his way out of consequences, it would work, but as is, this just feels... off.

Also, Scar calling himself scar as a reminder of his embarassment and what he did, despite him continuing to do awful things rendering that admission completely null and void; it sucked when the books did it, it sucks here.

Maybe the real Milele were the friends we made along the way.

Mufasa's coronation is powerful, and blends well with Kiara's ascension. My only problem is the same problem I had with the remake. The roar came TOO EARLY. In the original's King of Pride Rock, Simba's ascension was concurrent with the swelling of the music, reaching its peak when he reached Pride Rock's peak, and then when Simba roared, that's when the music delved into Busa, which meshed into the reprise of Circle of Life. The remake fucks that up badly, and Mufasa, whilst still better in terms of that detail in pacing, still manages to miss that mark. So close... and yet so far...

Kiara can now Skype call her grandfather. The Circle is now truly complete.

"Kiara, this is your new brother." I... was kinda hoping the film would end with Simba and Nala adopting a new cub and said cub would bond with Kiara the way that Mufasa and Taka used to, and that said cub would be a girl but........ fine, fine. Also, I am 99% sure that cub is Kion. With how Disney recently uploaded The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar onto their YouTube channel in honor of Mufasa, and with how next year is The Lion Guard's 10th anniversary, meaning they'd HAVE to make another large acknowledgement of it, I am more than definitely subscribing to the fact that it is Kion. And... yeah I'm pretty cool with it (if it's Kopa, I will go into hibernation).

Kiara telling her brother the story is a neat way to wrap up this story in a bow.

CONCLUSION:

PROS:

The animals actually emote and express in this movie. Not only that, but the backgrounds and impressive technology are allowed to go all out in strength. We have come a long way. I hope to god the animators get their rents due, especially in an era where animation and animators are constantly getting the middle finger by companies and corporations.

This movie takes a lot of good ideas and executes them brilliantly. Mufasa being an orphan, Sarabi and Zazu being a team, Taka/Scar being descended from a bloodline, the white lions, EVERYTHING about Rafiki. It truly feels original. Regardless as to whether or not it's canon, it's an interesting exploration of the world we know and love, done by people who really understand the movie.

The songs are amazing. Lin Manuel Miranda did his absolute best for them and they manage to serve the plot and characters pretty well. LMM is a pretty hit or miss guy when it comes to music. Sometimes he can flop and we get shit like Scuttlebutt, but other times he hits the bull's eye and we get stuff like Moana, Encanto, and Mufasa. He was on his A-game tonight.

The voice acting had actual direction unlike the remake. The actors had a lot of fun behind the scenes and it's very easy to tell, even without the interviews. And the singing *cheff's kiss.*

CONS:

This movie tries very hard in a lot of directions, but there are some areas where it doesn't really try hard enough. I feel like a few things were a bit underdeveloped. For example, Rafiki's exile. Just, stretch that scene out 3-4 more minutes to establish Rafiki as a character, his traits, the nature of his baboon tribe, and THEN banish him. Or Taka's relationship with Obasi, maybe do a bit more to commentate on the toxic values that Taka grew up with and how they stuck with him, maybe that is one of the things that hints to him not being worthy of the throne, compared to Mufasa's more progressive influence and proaction. Anything besides that stupid fucking love triangle. And maybe some more Sarabi/Zazu backstory, we get to truly see the closeness between them, maybe Sarabi saves Zazu, and vice versa during the climax. What they do with them is fine, but, there was room for more.

Timon and Pumbaa had some good scenes here but also some duds. At the end of the day, they provide some interesting commentary and jokes to lighten the mood but... I think their humor could've been improved upon, especially with how Pumbaa acts too much like Timon and that kinda breaks the whole idea of them being polar opposites. If Disney ever does make a live-action remake of The Lion King 3 (and you bet your ass they will)... they really gotta change how they're utilizing these two.

I know I went on about how this movie's strengths are regardless of canon, especially with how it contradicts both the original and the remake, but there were some parts where I couldn't fully suspend my disbelief, even if you shut canon out of the window. Like, the lionesses we see in the climax helping Sarabi. Is Sarafina amongst them? If not, who? If the cub isn't Nala, who is it? If the cub is Nala, why does she look like she's Simba's age, yet she looks no older than Simba when he's a grown cub? Even if you age them naturally like IRL animals, those numbers still don't add up. And the hyenas. They appear at the end during Mufasa's coronation and bow. Okay... what did they do to get banished or become enemies? I know the story couldn't have shown too much focus over them but why have them there only to gloss over it if it didn't mean much of anything? Not only that, but the hyenas fucking bow down to Mufasa. I'm sorry- BOW??? IN WHAT UNIVERSE???? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE???? What kind of KFP 4 Lord Shen bullshit is going on here? My suspension of disbelief can only go so far before it is utterly decimated😭😭

The pacing can be a bit better. Some things overall do go on too fast (which results in my first point as to how things can be undercooked, it's a sympton of the issue) or in the case of other scenes like Taka trying to rizz up Sarabi... go on for way too long. It doesn't horrifically bog down the film and there are many, many, many scenes where the pacing is to this movie's advantage, but it could do better in some areas.

Sarabi and Zazu were nowhere to be found in the present day. Unless you count one of those lionesses walking her and her son back home, but still.... HATRED. Is Sarabi not allowed to live past the TLK 1 story???? Is this Disney's subtle way of killing her off, what the FU-

Final Thoughts:

This movie was always destined to be better than The Lion King 2019, but only because of the low bar. A good concept can go along way as long as there is a good execution (there was a lot of potential for the remake, but the management of it lead to an utter waste of a film).

For years I prayed for this film not to suck - with each and every update that this film had, I would manifest that it wouldn't be shit, bare mininum - bc it's a film that SHOULDN'T suck with how good of a concept they had in their hands and how EVERYTHING for this film relied on the execution, especially coming off the heels of an awful film that, like I said, lowerred the bar below the Marianas Trench.

And, despite some of my earlier gripes, nitpicks, and critiques, - I was right.

THIS MOVIE DID NOT SUCK.

Does it have flaws? Yes. Is it perfect? No. Is it as good as the original? Definitely no. But it... it truly is something to behold, and a masterpiece nonetheless that, if anything, will not fail to entertain. With really good writing, nice songs, relatable and interesting characters, a very engaging story, and is [mostly] serviceable as an origin story for some of these characters, canon or otherwise. I am most likely gonna get a lot of people to disagree with me but that's what I stand by. Overall, worth the four year long wait (4 years, fucking really..?). At worst, it's decent, and at best, it's amazing.

FINAL RANKING: 8/10

The movie's opening weekend has only just begun, and reviews and meandering in very opposite directions, but if and when this movie does perform well, I wouldn't be surprised if this was the last time we see these characters again.