#the fear of negative feedback is eating me up alive

[benkeibear]

Reminding myself that not everything I post has to be 3k+. It's okay to post smaller things. They're created with the same love

[shebeafancyflapjack]

What She Needs

Quick EOTB (not a) drabble for @cecret-with-c . This should make up for me clearly not finishing my other whump fic by the weekend as I’d hoped.

This stinks!

For that matter, when did the waves outside get so rough and loud? It’s as if every sound in this little corner of paradise he created has been amplified for his annoyance, right down to the mice scurrying around in the walls who only came out to help carry a lost remote or dropped earring.

No matter how what position he lays in, no matter how much he tosses and turns, he can’t seem to get himself comfy. It makes no sense! He made sure to summon the most desirable sofa, specifically for human napping, as he knew it would be used as Eleanor’s second bed as much as sitting to watch TV. Neither of them had any issues with it before so why was it so hard for him to get to sleep now?! Why did the pillows suddenly feel so damn lumpy?

Maybe sleeping on the couch was always this difficult. He can’t say he ever did it before. Ever since he learned how to sleep, it was always with Eleanor, in her bed. Sometimes they would take the occasional nap on the sofa together, curled up in front of a movie or spent after a day of simulated adventures. She took many a snooze on here during those early weeks, where she’d be buried underneath a blanket, clinging to one of the cushions like a shield while Michael pottered around her, trying to create as calm and normal an atmosphere as possible. Perhaps she found it as awkward as he did now, but was too frightened (and mute) to complain?

Oh, stop it, Mikey. Stop trying to rationalise this. 

He knew the reason he was truly so alert. The same reason he had been exiled to the couch in the first place.

“Are you just not gonna talk to me for the whole weekend then?” He asks once they’ve made it through the threshold and she’s still storming ahead.

He makes sure to scan the area, ensure the soundproofing is on, never too careful if one of his coworkers has followed to spy on them.

“Yep!” Eleanor snaps back before realising her mistake; “Oh...fork, that didn’t count!”

“Oh, c’mon, I said ‘my bad’! What more do you want?”

“Cockroaches, dude! You called me and my friends ‘cockroaches’ - you really don’t get why that pisses me off?!” She turns and rounds on him.

Maybe she, too, had been waiting until they were out of demon-sight to rage at him.

Michael raises his hands; “I did not say that!”

“Oh so your exact words weren’t ‘you guys are like cockroaches’?!” She quotes him, lowering her voice to badly imitate him.

He waves his hand.

“Yes, but I wasn’t...I wasn’t trying to insult you. Chidi asked me a straight question, I gave him a straight answer...Which happened to be a metaphor!” He tried to defend, stepping through the foyer of the beach house.

Eleanor was already on her way into the kitchen to grab a can of J.D and coke.

“Look, he asked me if I knew why I was struggling with understanding some of the things in his class and I was just trying to say, as an immortal being, I am technically superior to the rest of you...Your species!” He corrects himself as soon as she turns to scowl at him; “And I tried to put that into perspective for him! How it feels for me, a creature with unfathomable abilities and has been around since the dawn of time, to have to be taught lessons from a creature like him - a tiny, fragile, mortal species whose only existed for a tiny blink in all eternity.”

“And the first thing that came to mind...was a cockroach?!” 

Oh, she really is pissed about this.

He took a breath and tried to move closer, his hands out.

“Babe, c’mon now. You know I’d never mean to call you anything like that. It was just a force of habit, it’s how they would explain our jobs to use in Torturing 101.” He tries to tell her, his palm hovering near her elbow as she swigged her drink; “Old habits die hard but I’m trying my best, you know that, right?”

She meets his eyes, the sternness in her brow weakening a little, he can see. There’s a twinge in her lips as she refuses to melt.

“Old habits seem to be alive and well this week, man. Especially when you made Chidi’s writing come off the wall and attack him, just because he corrected you on Consequentialism!”

“Come on! You laughed at that!”

“No, Jason did! I...wanted to but resisted, which is what you should be learning to do! Stop lashing out at Chidi whenever he gives you the slightest bit of negative feedback, he’s only trying to help - which he keeps doing even though you can be such a nightmare student that you make me look like a teacher’s pet!” Eleanor cringes, putting down her can and stepping back; “Oh, what the fork have you turned me into?!”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’ve become a total nerd! That’s on you.” Michael deflected as he hung up his jacket and removed his bowtie, snapping his fingers to turn his trousers to jeans. 

“Actually, ding dong, only reason I even asked Chidi to help me be a better person was because you tricked me into believing I wasn’t good enough to get into Heaven!”

“That wasn’t a trick, that’s a fact of the Universe.”

“You know what I mean! This is all your fault! We’re having to put up with these stupid fake tortures every day and when I’m not pretending to be miserable about that, I gotta babysit my demon boyfriend to try and stop him from actually torturing one of my best friends!” Eleanor raises her tone as she rounds on him; “And even when I finally get a chance to escape it all, I end up having a fight with said stupid demon boyfriend who’s too much of a jerkash to admit when he’s crossed the line!”

He watches her get closer, inch by inch, doing his best not to dismiss her comments and only focus on how cute she looks when she’s angry, as well as how hot it is for her to be so fearless shouting down an all-powerful immortal being.

Michael blinks as he realises she’s waiting for a response.

“Oh, you mean me?”

Eleanor groans again, moving back to the fridge. She grabbed as many J.D cans as she could carry before pushing past Michael and heading towards their bedroom.

He watches her go with a frown; “What you taking all those in there for?”

“Because I am gonna spend my torture-free night alone, in my room, drinking, eating crab and watching Real Housewives until I pass out.” She mutters as she turns the knob.

“Sounds good, count me in.” He went to follow.

“Alone!” 

That sounded less good. Michael stops in his tracks, watching her slam the door. He scoffs. She’ll be back out soon. What’s she gonna do, just leave him to sleep alone on the couch?

-

Yes, apparently.

Were he a true demon, he’d be hoping that Eleanor was having as much trouble getting to sleep as him. That she was regretting starting a fight on what was supposed to be their monthly getaway together and was going to appear any second to apologise and agree to forget it ever happened.

But he doesn’t, because he’s already passed failing at being evil, try as his natural instincts might try to rear their ugly tentacles again. He can’t wish anything bad upon her, the woman who changed his life, who shone a light in the darkness. He doesn’t even enjoy torturing her friends, not really. Chidi, a little, as an outlet, but only for an instant high that quickly wore off when he had to deal with the consequences. Which was mostly Eleanor being pissed at him.

He wondered how close she was coming to being tempted to turn a steak knife on him again? He probably deserved it.

It was...tough, being part of a team. Bonding with Eleanor on her own, two of them here isolated away from everyone else, had run so smoothly, as if it were destiny if he dared to entertain such a lame concept. But having to share her with others, taking classes with them, sometimes it was fun but other times...Ugh, he could gladly wish for retirement. He didn’t enjoy feeling dumb or small or...so clearly inferior to the kind, ethical human who got to spend way more time with his girlfriend than he did.

Not that Michael would ever bring that up. He’d sound as bad as Ross in Season Three when he was being possessive of Rachel with that Mark guy. What a tool.

Don’t be a Ross, Mikey. That’s Ethics for Dummies right there. 

He sighs, heavily, imagining losing Eleanor forever because of being like that doofus was with Rachel. He was better than that. He understood how important this was to her. He tried to respect her friends and what it meant for her to have all of them as a group; the family she’d been denied...that they’d all been denied in some way or another.

It’s on you to make this right, he tells himself. 

He hit his pillow before groaning again. Fine! First thing in the morning, he’ll wake her up with a nice breakfast, he’ll say sorry, he’ll let her know how frustrated he’s been with Vicky and others lately, and how he should make it up to Chidi and-

Click.

Michael freezes. That was definitely Eleanor’s bedroom door.

He closes his eyes, pretending to sleep. He doesn’t wanna try to do this now, not at this hour. Let them have a night apart to think, let her sleep, let it be a surprise to wake up to. She’s probably just coming in to grab some water from the Brita. Or some midnight shrimp from that infinite platter in the fridge. There’s a rapid thumping sound rippling through the air. He can barely hear her bare feet pad across the carpet...

On their way towards...him...

He struggles not to open his eyes when he feels the smaller body push against him, moving him back against the cushions and slipping under his arm for the lack of a blanket. He doesn’t need one and, even without his natural fiery body heat, it’s warm enough tonight. So why is she shaking all over as she curls into him-?

Oh. Oh shirt. Not again.

“You okay-?” he whispers only to find a palm pressed to his lips.

“Shut up!” her voice commands, her fierce tone trembling with fear; “M’still mad at you!”

Clearly. That’s not his main concern right now.

He nods, opening his eyes. The remnants of tears shine on her cheeks.

He carefully moves his hand to wipe them with his thumb, cradling her face as if it were the most precious object in existence.

“Just tell me what you need.” He says, softly.

They can deal with all the rest in the morning. Right here, right now, he’s to do what his role has always been since they first arrived here.

Does she want to talk about it? Can he get her anything?

He doesn’t need to ask these questions. They’ve been uttered a hundred times, over a hundred nights, throughout this house. He’s never denied her a thing and he’s hardly going to stop tonight.

Eleanor sniffs; “...Just...do the thing...”

He nods; “C’mere.” he lifts his arm again, letting her curl in close against this chest before he wraps her up tight. His fingers gently massage up and down her back as she tries to sync her breathing with his, burying her face in his chest. He whispers the same soothing words, the same promises of safety, the same tender reassurance that it will all be okay. She can never hear it enough, not after what she had to endure. It’s a miracle she ever came back from it.

Michael chances his luck a little when he feels her begin to calm by brushing his lips against her hair. She gives the smallest hum, fingers still clutching on tight.

“Still mad.” She mumbles, nuzzling into him.

“I know.” He whispers, “And I’m still here.” Always.

He’s not sure when the couch became comfortable again but he can feel his own eyes becoming heavy. He watches her face, so close to his, admiring the smoothness of her skin and each hair out of place.

“Guess I might as well stay...” Eleanor says, sleepily; “I know you need me to look after you.”

He grants her that, smiling; “We cockroaches gotta stick together, right?”

She doesn’t respond.

“Still not good?”

Her lips twitch; “Getting better. We’ll make a human outta you soon, demon babe. Now go the fork to sleep.”

[novoice97]

Remembering Hurts

I have plenty of stories to tell but this one reminds me why I let my mind kill of my memories. Not remembering doesn't hurt.

My most recent encounter was October 12th, 2019. I want to use his real name but fear is my enemy. So, I'll call him Jacob.

Being freshly single from a 7 year abusive relationship, I let my loved ones talk me into dating. Seeing that I haven't been in the dating scene, of course the thought of getting back out there scared me. I should've listened.

He messaged me out of the blue, the first guy I talked to since my separation. Our conversations seemed to last for hours, talking on the phone late at night. I felt so alive in what felt like forever. Years passed by without knowing what it was like to feel this way. To understand what it was like to be wanted. We eventually planned to meet up. The excitement I felt was incomparable. It was a crisp afternoon when his silver 4 door rolled up the drive way. He met my family and waited for me as I reconciled with my family for their feedback. They approved then sent me on my way. We drove around for a bit, nothing amusing in our tiny town. He pulled over near a park that's right beside the Jr. High School. He leaned in and shoved his tongue down my throat. Shocked, I pushed him off me. I must've have given him the wrong impression but I didn't want to assume he was a bad guy so I let it slide. We decided that we wanted to go to the bigger city that was an hour away, seeing as that is where he lives. I agreed, thinking this is how dates work. He arranged for us to go out to eat then hit the movies at the drive-in. An hour of sweet talk and laughs passed as we finally arrived into town. He went silent and drove me straight passed everything. The busy city faded behind us as we drove past the suburbs and into an area with a few buildings. Apartment complexes. He told me he lived upstairs and needed to grab something he forgot then we'd be on our way. Little did I know that was a lie. Minutes passed before he showed up next to my door inviting me in, saying it was too sketchy for me to wait outside while he looked. I agreed to come in to beat the bad vibes I was getting off this neighborhood. Once inside he asked if I'd just want to order something to eat and watch a movie here, he said we missed our reservations. Trying to keep the spirit alive, I agreed. I have never stayed at anyone's house who wasn't my partner or family. A Redskins jersey and some black basketball shorts were handed to me. The number 24 stared at my face as I gracefully grabbed the shirt from his greedy hands. He stepped put so I could change into my temporary night clothes. I had only lifted my shirt enough to where it covered my face before I was thrown onto a musty smelling bed. I felt my jeans being ripped off with my panties. Before I could pull my hands free to fight back, he pinned my free hand to my back. My other hand was stuck with my shirt to my face. I felt his beard scratch against my skin like sandpaper as he scraped me with his poisonous tongue. When he stopped, the fun began. The bed squeaked with every movement. The sound of his breath hoarse against my back. I begged him to stop but my cries only made him get more aggressive. The only view I had was of his navy blue curtains and the dusty blinds with the shine of the street light shining through. When he finished he put his heavy, hairy body on top of mine and slept. Hours passed before he woke and decided to take me for another go. I cried as he used me. He asked me if I loved him, in fear I said yes. I have someone waiting for me at home. I can't let this be the way I disappear. I did what he asked of me. Not trying to put up a fight so he wouldn't feel threatened by me. Again once he finished he put himself onto me and slept. Hours passed, the sun slowly began to shine through, he woke up with a loud grunt. He forced me onto him and made me ride. Once he finished he took me to the shower, he joined me as if we have been dating for years. As if this was normal. He had me change back into my clothes from the night before. We had sonic before he drove me back home. The ride back was a blur. He talked so negatively towards me. The things he said still linger in my mind. 10 more minutes and I'm home. He dropped me off and told me if I ended up pregnant to leave him out of it. I walked to the store after he left and used what money I had left to buy a Plan B. I visited the doctor that same week but Jacob blocked me after that day. You still follow me in my dreams and haunt my mind. I will

never look at dating the same way. I can't look at any one the same way. You ruined me. Who I was beginning to become.

[maddestzoomer]

that photograph.

summary - 

a death, a photograph, and endless white walls.

warnings - 

mentions of death, also (not really sure if it counts considering he’s already dead lmao, but whatever) technically suicidal thoughts. 

authors note - 

i haven’t written for a while, but this is a story i recently found scribbled in my notebook from a few years back. i figured i’d edit some and post it here. feel free to give me any feedback you may have :) 

The last picture, dark and blurry, sat crammed in between two pages of his favorite book. It was a photo from the cross-country trip Billy had taken with his family last year.

The negatives were long gone, but one grainy picture remained. It had been there for almost a hundred years, long forgotten, but well protected within the lines of verse.

Billy had died on July fourth.

When it happened, it much more of a bigger deal than he thought it would be. He was nineteen, impaled multiple times by a fucking monster only to die in his sobbing sister's arms.  

But in the newspapers, it was nothing more than a freak accident. No-one knew how or why what happened happened, and just about everyone agreed it was strange, but there weren't any real answers supplied.

It was one of those awful things that no one expected and shouldn't have happened. It shouldn't have. He had done a lot of wrong in his short life, but maybe he didn't deserve to die.

People cried for him, sang for him, wished for things to have been different.

Billy was still dead. His ribs were broken, lungs were punctured, and his esophagus was filled with blood until he could no longer breathe. It wasn't short and it wasn't painless. But it didn't matter how he died.

It wasn’t a loss of life, persay- it was more of a transition. On to the next world, the new beyond.

The next world had started with a line. Hundreds of people waited in front of a single window. Surrounded by endless white walls and equally white floors, Billy had slowly made his way to the back.

Some people hugged their knees and sobbed. Some muttered and stared off into space. Some looked genuinely bored. One woman, a pretty brunette girl, had run up and down the line, frantically asking questions.

“Where am I?” She’d shrieked, hazel eyes wild with fear. “What happened?”

She had been met with shrugs and vacant stares. She was not the first, nor the last.

The line took ages. There was no way of telling time- it could’ve been a year or an hour. But when Billy had finally reached the window, he’d asked the question many screaming and terrified before him people had asked.

“Where am I?” He said to the woman behind the window, who had been busy typing something into an archaic computer system.

“You’re dead, honey.” She murmured, not looking up. “Billy Hargrove?” He’d nodded, not sure what else to do.

“Hand,” she’d instructed, holding out her own. Once he’d placed it in hers, she turned it over, palm facing down, and stamped the back.

It was a triangle, tiny and solid black. Billy’d looked back up to ask where he was, or where to go, or what was next, but the window was gone. So was the line when he turned around.

Instead, he was in a small room. White walls and a white bed stared back at him. A bookshelf sat in the corner. Next to it was a small, black desk with a lamp.

“Hello?” He’d asked to the walls. No one answered.

He’d found out later- hours later- that the door was unlocked. Outside, there was a single potted plant next to his door. He touched the leaves, breathing in the stale air. They were plastic.

Fluorescents reflected off of white walls as he walked down the hallway, searching for another soul.

There was a common room about fifty doors and three turns down from him. When he went out of the hallway on the other side, there was an identical hundred doors and common room. He sat down in a puffy chair, mind overwhelmed.

Emotion had left his body. He wanted to feel anything- scared, excited, nervous, lost, angry- but all he felt was empty. As empty as the rooms around him.

As time passed, he saw other faces. None he’d recognized. Initially, he’d hoped he would reunite with lost family members and friends, but it was quickly apparent that that would never happen. He would never find them.

He could talk, but no one was interested. Once you talked about your life and death, there was nothing really left to speak about but the uncertainty that plagued every soul in the place.

Where were they? What was next? Was this hell?

It wasn’t really hell as much as it was boredom. The bookshelf had every book you could ever want, and endless paper appeared on the desk. He tried to keep himself entertained, but the endless walls and fluorescents shot daggers into any creativity he could have mustered.

It turned out the bed wasn’t for sleeping- it was so he could lay down and stare at the perfectly white ceiling.

He did a lot of that. There was no food to eat, no shit to shit. He probably could have had sex, but finding other people was the last thing he wanted to do. He just wanted to be alone. To think about the life he could have lived. He just sat and stared, not knowing how or when or if time passed.

After re-reading a random book for the third time, Billy decided to try to kill himself. He wasn’t sure if it was possible, because he was already dead, but he could definitely try.

He’d begun to try to fashion a length of paper into a noose when fresh air caught his nose. It was bright, sweet, warm, and it danced into his brain, lighting up parts that hadn’t been touched since he’d died.

It was coming from under the door. Slowly, trying not to scare the hope away, he crept towards the door. The air was intoxicating- better than any vodka he could have bought when alive.

Emotions sprung to his chest for the first time since he’d gotten in line. Dry pine smoke and bird cries flew in on the air, bringing promises of a forest.

Was he hallucinating? Was it a dream? Had he finally killed himself? He touched the handle, fingers shaking. It was electrifying, the feelings that filled him. He felt alive again.

He opened the door to a forest, lit by softly flickering candles. Sobs echoed through the needles, carrying to his ears.

He saw his friends hugging one another. Saw Max silently sobbing into her hands, his Father staring drunkenly at the ground, and his Step-Mother, Susan, gently rubbing Max's back. Sitting on a table was a picture of him, smiling brightly with a surfboard at his side and an endless blue ocean behind him.

Billy had just walked into the anniversary of his death.

Being back in the real world filled him to the brim with long lost emotions.

Life danced within his eyes, as transparent as he was. He found out quickly that he couldn’t communicate or interact with anything- he could only watch.

And when he stared at his hands, he could see the fire-lit carpet of pine needles beneath him. He ached to speak to his mother (even though she wasn't to be found at the funeral...), to Max, to his friends, but even complete silence was better than the room.

Anything was better than the room, the four walls and the plastic plant guarding his door. Anything.

The worst thing in the world, even worse than the room, was having to return to it.

He felt the ground leave his feet as he was thrust back into the four walls, the life leaving his chest as quickly as it had come.

It felt like being socked in the stomach with the force of an entire lifetime. But worse, because he couldn’t cry about it. He couldn’t cry about anything.

Everything- the joy, sadness, nostalgia, content- left his body in a snap. He was left in the room again, with the hallway beyond the door.

He couldn’t even feel upset. He could just sit on the bed and wait.

He waited for another year, only living for the time that the forest would sneak in under his door.

Sometimes, he feared it would never come back, but there was nothing he could do. So he just waited. Re-reading books, walking the endless halls. There was something to look forwards to. He didn’t want to kill himself. He wanted to go back.

He continued going back for a decade, and then another. Slowly, the mourning of his death became smaller and less widespread as his parents died. His picture still existed in old family photos and friends’ diaries, but the memory of him slowly dropped existence.

Eventually, everyone he'd once known was death. Every year he went back it seemed another friend was gone.

Pictures kept getting lost or destroyed- thrown away by accident, or torn in broken picture frames.

Slowly, his descendants died, only to give way Max's great-great-grandson, Arthur, who had the last remaining picture of him.

It had been almost a hundred years since Billy had tried speaking with anyone connected to him. He’d never been able to find any of them within the long halls of the Place- but he seldom left his room, anyways.

The only time he stepped outside the door anymore was when he went back to earth, when he felt the grass beneath his feet and the sun in his hair.

Billy knew, from seeing his hallmates disappear, that when no pictures of him existed he’d never be allowed to go back to the real world. He’d also leave the Place, but no one knew what was in the Beyond.

Billy, when he could feel emotions, was terrified. The last picture of him sat in an ancient book of poetry, on a bookshelf in the attic of Arthur's house.

Max had kept the picture of Billy when he died, cried with it even when Billy had been gone fifty years. She had kept the book with her treasures, a ratty red book cover covered in dust. Almost no one had touched it since she'd died.

Arthur looked like Max. Skin full of freckles, head wild with red hair. The two even shared a similar smile.

Billy found himself following Arthur around when he could almost as much as he followed his own descendants, just to see how he lived his life.

Arthur was, unlike Max, incredibly forgetful. He’d leave his wallet on the counter or forget the dog was outside.

Watching Arthur was almost like watching his step-sister. Even though they were incredibly different, the two shared the same laugh and the same wit.

Then, one day, Arthur forgot to put out a candle when he went to bed.

He’d set them up for a date, but the boy he'd invited had stood him up.

Billy had wanted to comfort him, but he just sat on the couch and watched. After crying and eating almost an entire tub of ice cream, he’d blown out most of them and headed up to bed.

All except one.

One, hanging by the curtain, greedy flame licking at the fabric.

Billy stared at it. Watched as it grew, climbed up to the wall. There. It had to end there.

But it didn’t.

It grabbed the ceiling, expanding up and around the window. Billy glanced at the fire detector. Surely, it would go off?

It was silent. Another unlikely event. Billy was beginning to get nervous.

He tried to touch the fire, to stop it, but of course, his hands went straight through. He tried fanning the smoke to the detector. He grabbed for the phone, tried to shake Arthur awake.

Nothing was working.

Flames greedily ate up the living room and expanded to the upstairs, finally waking up Arthur.

Red hot pain suddenly lanced through his back, ripping a scream out of his mouth. He bucked as the pain forced its way into his mouth. It was similar to the pain he felt when that creature had impaled him.

His entire body felt like it was on fire, lines tracing and crossing over his skin. Billy arched his back, where the pain was concentrated, heat searing his skin. He screeched as if it would never end, because it felt like it never would.

It only got worse. His forehead erupted with slicing agony. Collapsing to the ground, he grabbed onto his blond curls as he screamed, wishing for death. But he was already dead? Dead twice? He was gone. Wishing it was over. Wishing he didn’t exist. Simply wishing.

As quickly as it had come, the pain left. He laid on the ground, softly gasping as his muscles unconstricted. Flinching at every sound, he waited for the agony to come back.

Minutes dripped by. It didn’t come back. He was sore, his body didn’t feel like his own. But he wasn’t being hurt.

Slowly, he stood. When he looked down at his hands, the black triangle had multiplied, spreading over his skin. His veins were black and pronounced over thick, corded muscle.

His tongue prodded his canine teeth, only to find they were long and sharp. Fangs. Billy had fangs. His fingers shook, fear pounding around his mind. He needed answers.

He tried to run his hands through his hair, but something stopped him. Big, bony horns curled out of his forehead. They were solid and sharp at the end, and he cut his finger as he ran it over.

A shard of glass on the floor caught his eye. He glanced at it slowly, scared at what he would see.

Dipping around the side of his back were wings, heavy and black. He reached back to feel them, wincing at the pain that started through his body. They felt leathery, cold.

Blood dripped to the floor from his cut finger.

By the door rested an iron pitchfork, tips covered in dried blood. He shuddered as he felt the very tips of his wings, now hyperaware, brush against the ground.

“Mr. Hargrove?” A voice called as the door creaked open.

Another demon, freakish and unworldly, stepped through the door. He was tall, powerful, with long black horns and a mane of thick, flowing hair.

A pencil rested behind his pointed ear, and he held a staff in his left hand.

Leaning against the stone wall, he looked Billy up and down.

“Where the fuck am I?” Billy asked, knowing full well what the answer was.

“Well, Mr. Hargrove,” the demon laughed, tapping a pencil against his equally pointy teeth.

“You’ve got a triangle on your hand. If you have a circle, you get to go up there,” he pointed to the ceiling, “and live in eternal peace.” He laughed, lip curling into a mocking snarl.

“Here, though, we are not brown nosers. We do not believe in total harmony. We wage war where we see fit, defend ourselves and those we love. We are honest about what we want. We have dignity, courage, and pride. “ The demon smiled, tossing his pitchfork to Billy. It glinted in the low light.

“Welcome to Hell.”

[itgetsdarksometimes35]

Grace, Too one shot

18+

Pairings: Dark Steve Rogers x reader

Summary: Following up with the reader from grace, too by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor 9 years later.

Warnings: Dub con, kidnapping, multiple pregnancies, children, brainwashing, lots of errors because I just wrote this and didn’t check for grammatical errors, that’s about it I think

A/N: Please be aware of the warnings, they’re there for a reason. Although this story isn’t really going in depth of what happened, I do suggest reading the actual story by the wonderful @darkficsyouneveraskedfor In fact, I’m not suggesting. I’m telling. Go read her stuff becaus it’s legit the best, don’t be dumb. This story couldn’t have been possible without Roo, and I love her so much for allowing me to do this. She really helped bring these dark thoughts I’ve always had out and she has helped inspire me. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it! Make sure to give me feedback, it’s my first dark fic/fic in general! Without further ado:

Grace, Too

It has been 9 years. Three of which were spent locked in the basement because I couldn’t be trusted. During the time of the 3rd year I became pregnant. Not a glorious pregnant that you would see in tv, but the kind that makes you feel like you’re actually going to die. Pregnancy with a super soldier baby is regular pregnancy on steroids. Your back hurts 10x more, the kicks are more extreme and happen way before they normally should, and don’t even get me started on the morning sickness. All the while Steve was there being the most dutiful “husband.” We got married the 4th day. I kicked and screamed and punched and all it got me was a sore ass. He insisted I start cooking with the mini kitchen down in the basement. “Can’t trust you with the big guns yet” he had said while chuckling. I wasn’t much of a cook, the most I could afford, really, was ramen. Steve seemed angry at first about this, he face split for just a second before turning into the golden boy America knows and loves. “That’s okay, honey, I’ll get you a cookbook.” So I learned how to cook. It was a bumpy road but all the while Steve was encouraging, even when I totally bombed the food. He’d pat my leg and say “don’t worry you’re meant to succeed. There’s a reason I chose you, right?.” That smile of his I grew to despise. Partly because after a while I forgot what other smiles looked like on other people. Were they usually that perfect? I couldn’t remember. Another part was because I felt a tug at my heart, after a while, every time he smiled at me. I won’t say the tug was love, more like a tug that a prey would feel if it’s hunter found it to be too adorable to eat. I kept the basement spotless. Not very hard considering I only had a small kitchen with a stove, a mini fridge, a closet with utensils and food, a cooler that he filled with ice everyday, and a small counter; a sitting area with 2 chairs and a table (where Steve and I had dinner); a bathroom with a sink, toilet, small bath with legs, and a cabinet for storage; and finally a main room with a bed, and a tiny bookshelf with 3 books, aside from the 5 cooking books he got me. Steve told me I’d be rewarded with a new book every time I was good. I’ll tell you now, I only got 5 more books during those 3 years. I never really read the 3 books. Sure, my eyes glossed over them from cover all the way to the end, but I couldn’t tell you crap about Animal Farm or how it ended. Everyday he would come down after work and ask me how my day was, as if it could’ve possibly changed from the day before. He would inspect the small area I was forced to call my home, and he would smile with approval if it was up to his standards and punish me if they weren’t. The first few weeks were rough to say the least.

“Honey, you haven’t cleaned. You know what my expectations are.”

“Fuck you and you’re expectations. You’re batshit, you kidnapped me and you’re forcing me to be your wife! You need help!”

After that he’d put me over his knee and make me count. If I lost count he’d start all over. That’s the Steve I grew to know. Not the helping old ladies across the street Steve, not the I saved the world again Steve. The Steve that was broken down and tired from all the world threw at him was the one that kidnapped me. After checking to see if I did my chores, he then checked to see if his dinner was ready. One time I made a singular chicken leg. He didn’t find it funny. He didn’t hurt me often, unless it was sex or a spanking, but that day he slapped me in the face and yelled at me for being disrespectful.

“Don’t you see all that I’ve done for you? And you have the nerve to do this? Don’t be a bitch, y/n.”

“Please, Steve, just let me go.”

After that he realized what he’d done and held my crying form until I fell asleep. I woke up with an already made breakfast and an apology note.

After dinner we had sex. No, sex isn’t the right word. That would imply it was mutual, it wasn’t. But what other choice did I have? The first few nights I did try to stop him, but what’s the point? I’d wake up with bruises on my wrists from him holding me down tightly. So I just laid there. Sadly, he wasn’t too keen on that either. He’d just hit that one spot hard over and over until I was a moaning mess beneath him, begging for him. Begging for what, I still don’t know. Most times he’d make me cum over and over, just because he knew I had no other choice. He knew that I thought bed was my last source of self control; he made sure to show me that not even there I could escape the way he wanted me to feel, to think. After he was finally finished he’d roll over and pull me to his chest. We spent every single night together. He’d caress my face and push the hair out of my eye and give me such a lust blown stare.

“You know I love you, right honey?”

He wasn’t really asking

“Do you love me too?”

If I said no he’d climb back on top of me and either deny me orgasms until I was begging for him to let me cum or he’d make me cum until I was too weak to say anything but the banter of his name and “I love you, too”

The “wedding” was stupid. That’s the only word for it. Nobody was in attendance, except the spider in the corner, but he acted like there was a full house. He made me walk down an “aisle” that was really from the bathroom to him in the middle of the main room. I wore a white gown that looked like it was plucked out of a I Love Lucy episode with a pearl necklace that would make Audrey Hepburn squeal. The shoes were kitten heels that made me feel like I was walking on glass. He wore a plain black suit with a bow tie. He gave a speech and gestured to people not there and then motioned to me. I repeated some of his lines like “I knew it was love when I first saw you” and “I couldn’t be happier than in this moment.” Then he slipped the ring on, we kissed, we signed a paper, and then we danced. During which we both cried. He cried because his twisted fantasy was going his way and I cried because I realized the weight of what I’d just lost. My freedom, my job (even if it sucked), my chance at a real beautiful wedding with the wedding dress of my choosing and the man of my dreams. Most of all I wept for my future. Where was I headed?

I don’t know why it took so long for me to get pregnant. For a while I just thought we couldn’t. The serum obviously had a negative affect on his swimmers. I wasn’t going to suggest this, of course. Then he would find another way to get me pregnant, and I didn’t want that. I could handle the cleaning, the cooking, the persona of a perfect 1940’s housewife, but a baby? Before this I didn’t really know if kids were in my future, but now that I was in the situation that I was in I knew I couldn’t bring a baby into these living conditions. Born into a prison they can never escape from. Some part of me feared it was my fault. I swallowed this theory as well, this could be worse for me than the other one. If u were the problem what would Steve do? It wouldn’t be as easy as letting me go, I’ve seen too much of his true side. The fear ate me alive for 3 years, the entire time I suffered in silence just like I did everything else. Steve didn’t seem too upset about my lack of fertility, and if he was he didn’t show it. He was always so... chippy. Three years straight and never once did he get angry about the lack of a child. One day I was cleaning the room when Steve came in. I immediately jumped up while a cold sweat came down my body. Why is he here? I didn’t cook dinner yet, will he be mad? I don’t have on my housewife dress yet, it gets in the way of my cleaning. He strode in like he’d been given a raise.

“S-steve?”

He hummed but didn’t look up from the bag he had carried in and was now looking through on the kitchen table.

“Why are you home so early? I haven’t made dinner and I’m not dressed properly yet...”

“That’s alright, darling, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?”

My heart fluttered at this. Was he going to let me walk outside? Or was it more of an object gift? Did he bring me a cell phone? Or a watch? The only way I could tell time was when he woke me up to tell me he was leaving and that he needed a kiss goodbye. I knew I had a while before he got back but the actual time and date was lost on me.

He chuckled, again not looking up. “Well, two gifts actually.”

I start stepping closer, the anticipation killing me. He pulls out a box. He finally looks up and smiles at me. He pushes it towards me and says “open it.”

I do and inside is a onesie with a Captain America shield on it. Right next to it is a stick I’ve grown very accustomed to seeing with one line on it.

“Steve, I don’t understand..”

“I figured it’s been a while since the last time we checked. Why not give it another go, hm? I’m feeling lucky about this time.”

It was in that moment I became aware of everything in slow motion and HD. Was it always this hot in here? Is the basement really this small? Has the fridge always made such an annoying sound?

Steve walked me to the bathroom while I followed absentmindedly. I sat on the toilet and peed. It was in this moment I realized I couldn’t remember my last period. I also became freakishly aware that my stomach has been killing me for days and my boobs have been extremely tender. But I wrote them all off as being his fault. My breasts were because he was too rough in bed, my period being out of wack because I haven’t had contact with another female to sync up with (or maybe I just couldn’t remember because I had no sense of true time), and my stomach because I had been working tirelessly and I hadn’t seen the sun in years. As a timer on Steve’s phone, that I hadn’t realized he even pulled out, he immediately grabs the test. He grows a wicked smile and grabs me and gives me the tightest hug. Turns out it was his fault I was feeling the way I was feeling, it just had nothing to do with any of my theories.

After that he moved me upstairs. He made it such a big deal, I was just being moved from one prison to another. This prison was slightly nicer, though. He had a full kitchen that was bigger than the whole basement. A living room with a tv (I was on restriction from what I could watch but it was still better than those dusty books) A radio, that told me the time and gave me a date every morning (complimentary from man named Joshua Tucker that played the “best classics”). The biggest room in the house was the room I’d be sharing with Steve from now on. There were locks on the windows and doors that could only be unlocked by Steve’s handprint, but I at least got natural lighting up here. Down there all I got were a few dull lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling.

As Steve put it this meant more responsibility. More room meant more things to clean. He said he believed in me. He said I’d been a good girl lately and seeing as I’m not pregnant, I needed a better place to stay. He also mentioned that he wouldn’t hesitate to put me back downstairs if I didn’t behave. I believed him and decided that up here was better. So I behaved. He gave me prenatal to take and another medicine to help with my body’s pains. He was less rough with me in bed but he still had that edge to him. He always rubbed my growing belly, kissed it good morning and goodnight, and sometimes he would talk to it. Once I woke up to him reading to it. It was almost...normal.

One day while walking (more like waddling) around the house with my 3 month belly that, thanks to the serum, made me look 7 months. I came across a room I hadn’t been in yet. Steve didn’t introduce me to it so I hadn’t felt the need. I was ahead on my chores and the radio said I had a few more hours before I had to start dinner, so I let myself in. I figured if I were to get into trouble for going inside I would just tell Steve that I was trying to clean it, although lying with him was never my strong point. Inside was a nursery. A black toy car ford was in the corner, big enough for a toddler to ride around in. The crib was gray with a stuffed bear inside, the walls were a gray color, matching the crib, with a white accent wall. There was a changing table and the closet was open spilling at the seams with clothes. There was a toy box and a million picture frames that were yet to be stripped of their generic photos of a happy family. I knew this day would come, where would the baby sleep? It nonetheless freaked me out. It was too real. I was pregnant. I was locked in the house like a prisoner. My baby was now going to be a prisoner. Did Steve want a boy? Everything was a generic boy theme. There was even a photo album on the table that said “daddy’s little boy.” What would happen if it were a girl? I quickly leave the room shutting the door behind me. I look down the hallway and realize there’s several other rooms I hadn’t been in. Were they always there? How big could this house get? There were at least 7 other rooms and every one of them was a nursery. One was a boy nursery another was a girl, there was even a twin themed nursery. This was just baby number one.

By the time it was time for me to give birth, I was so big I couldn’t see a good 2 feet directly below and ahead of me. My hips hurt, my back hurt, my feet hurt. If I would’ve felt several kicks I would’ve said I was pregnant with quadruplets. I knew it was just a single birth, though. I always felt two feet kicking me on one side. I had no actual medical care, Steve said I didn’t need it. He said his grandmothers had given birth to both his parents at home with no problem and during their entire pregnancy hadn’t seen a doctor once. I gave birth on our bed. I felt like I was pushing for hours and the pain was the worst thing I had ever felt. Steve delivered the baby. He was a healthy looking baby boy, to which he named after himself. He had my laugh and my smile but his father’s everything else. Steve was right to name him after himself. The next pregnancies went the same way, none of them getting easier. Sarah was next, she was a spitting image of me, but she acted like Steve’s mother (or so he says). Next came the twins Peggy and Joseph, then Mary-Ann then Virginia-Lynn. I had no say in Sarah’s and Stave’s names but I chose the others. He did give me a list I was told to chose from, but I got the final say nonetheless. We filled up the house pretty quickly.

Now here I sit, pregnant, while Steve helps the kids open their presents. I made hot cocoa while the kids and Steve were out playing in the snow. I was allowed out while pregnant with Sarah, Steve said it was good to have fresh air while pregnant and Steve Jr was getting a little stir crazy while being kept in the house all day. I never tried anything, where would I go? What would I do? Who would believe me? It was better to just sit there, look pretty, while pregnant with my husband’s children. All with grace, too.

@jtargaryen18

[drops-of-moonlights]

Winx AU Detailing Part XVIII - Screaming about the guys

title is self-explanatory! all the deets below:

Sky

While he was taught how to act in tense or political situations, he is INCREDIBLY awkward and shy in social or normal circumstances and due to his royal air he can look standoffish and aloof. He’s just very shy, however, and it can take him quite a bit to start a conversation or warm up to people - he’s still surprised at how fast he became friends of Team 3Q and he believes he started more as “”“Sky’s”““ friend than them liking him for himself.

He absolutely sucks at ballroom dancing, no matter how many excellent teachers have taught him. He’s decent at best at other styles, but he’s incredibly uncoordinated outside of battle and steps on his partner’s feet way too much. Riven and Stella have slowly taught him at a different pace however, and he’s starting to very very VERY slowly get better at it.

He’s keeping his hair very long as an act of rebellion, as the tradition in Eraklyon is for only the Queens to have long hair, with the men always having very short hair to mark them as knights and military generals, with part of the crowning ceremony even involving a haircut. He doesn’t want to take part on this at all and has planned ways in which he can delay it or avoid it entirely.

Brandon

He has known Sky since he was 7, as one of his mothers is part of the Knighthood of Eraklyon and, as their highest ranking member, she was appointed to protect him during outings. They became friends vary fast and get along incredibly well, enough for Brandon to want to become his personal squire so he can ensure his safety even more - the switcheroo plot was all him, and while Sky vehemently objected, the King and Queen approved it.

Brandon is the second oldest child of his family, with his brother Aaron (who currently works as a chef for the Castle) being the oldest and with Soraya following in the middle and twins Dorothea and Florencia as his little sisters in that order. He and Soraya help the most around the house, and has honed a sense of responsibility far greater than the rest of his team. As such he ends up acting as the voice of reason most of the time and has to be a mood ruiner when its necessary, even if he hates it sometimes - it’s this sense of responsibility that makes him the actual leader of Team 3Q, not Sky. For ages, Aaron is older than him by 3 years, Soraya is younger by 1, and Dorothea and Florencia are younger by 7.

Because he was trained to always be at Sky’s side and protect him, he has become very perceptive about other people and their intentions, and can tell when someone is feeling down or suspiciously happy very easily. This leads to always be the first person to ask if something is wrong or confront others about how they’re doing, and while generally appreciated, he has a bad habit of barging unnanounced into other people’s problems.

Timmy

Timmy is...not in the best of terms with his parents. They’re so laser-focused on their job that they don’t really pay much attention to him at all, only really leaving him food and supplies and not even getting to see them until the weekends, and they don’t even really interact during the downtime. He still sometimes wonder if they even realized he’s at Red Fountain now, and while he appreciates them keeping him alive and well, he still resents them for their neglect.

His vision, while bad, is arguably the best of his teammates thanks to his glasses, which better his visual range into slightly further than perfect vision. This is the main reason he’s the sniper of his team, as no one else has his field of vision... or his skills, for that matter; he only trusts Brandon to hold his guns since everyone else is very, very clumsy with firearms.

Timmy really only appears shy due to his thin frame and glasses, he just doesn’t really try to interact much outside of the necessary since he doesn’t like going out much. He’s also the one guy to probs make the darkest jokes, which has surprised the rest on the regular. He’s very affectionate when you get very close though, which works in Tecna’s favor since she loves hugs and the like.

Riven

He’s older than the rest of the guys since he was kicked out of his previous team, Team 4T for infighting and aggressivenes - he was currently dating the leader of the team, but it was short-lived, and it was such a nasty breakup that they ended up actively fighting with their own weapons, each almost seriously injuring the other. He was sent to a calmer freshman team as a support leader in the hopes having to somewhat tutor others would help him relax and gain patience.

Riven is one of Stella’s childhood friends from when she went by Camila, and as such is one of the few people left allowed to call her Cami. She requested when they started RF and Alfea to only call her Stella and even pretend they don’t know each other for a long time, due to a recent agreement her parents had done with another royal family and that when the time arrives, she would explain more. This agreement was the whole Sky/Brandon fiasco, and when it came to the light, Riven dissappeared for a bit to get the full story from her.

He is an avid follower of fashion and is knowledgeable about most designers and trends, which tends to throw people off due to his rugged “I don’t give a fuck about anything” appearance. He meets up with Stella from time to time to chat, eat something, and talk shit about the current bad designs of the season, with Musa and Nova occasionally joining them.

Nex

He has been going as Nex ever since he was 10, and has managed to transition without many issues. He’s very happy his family and their troupe were supportive, and is pleased with how his life has gone so far. He mostly goes with a subtle appearance spell, but has gone through medical treatments and surgeries (more speficially, top surgery) as well in the recent years. He told the rest of Team 3Q a week after starting to live together, and they’ve been trying to help him with any kind of thing he needs the best they can, especially with the occasional cramps. (Drops here - I’ve done research on most of these things, and have had help from trans friends as well - but if you feel I got something wrong or if it’s offensive and/or innapropiate, please tell me! I’m still learning about all this and I appreciate all feedback.)

He’s definitely the most cocky of the team and likes to show off his skills and flexibility, which can get annoying fast at first - and that’s his main goal. He likes messing with people via sheer force of exuberance alone, and while he will apologize if it goes too far, for the most part he enjoys the irritation he can cause. This is a leftover of the comedic act he used to do with his cousin in the troupe, and it’s his weird way of showing affection.

He is incredibly afraid of birds, which has caused problems for him on some of the outings near RF and after RF gets turned into a giant fuckoff floating school, as birds became even more commonplace on campus. He was chased by a pair of swans when he was 8 for almost two hours, which has left him with a deep fear and respect for most birds. He doesn’t have problems with tiny birds, but anything as big as a pigeon or more is an issue.

Helia

While he is in decent terms with Saladin, especially after the whole Darkar deal, he’s still estranged to the rest of his family, as he comes from a long, long line of warriors and fighters and for him to not want part in any of that has left him ostracized. His focus on the arts is partly also getting all his resentment and anger at his family (who technically dropped him at the drop of a hat when he left RF) into work, and he has a whole private collection of only his vent paintings. Only his father and mother still talk with him, and have tried to make the rest understand as well.

He initially started as a simple Sorcerer when he passed the transformation test, but after a few years he followed the path of Witches and has stayed like that since, as negative feelings seem to come to him far more easily. His name of Witch of Alloys comes from his knowledge on metal forging and molding, as that’s the way he tends to apply his magic - as if forming, shaping and straightening the magic.

While he is the most calm of the main guys, he’s almost as dramatic as Nex can be when in the right mood, and when teamed up, they’re incredibly insufferable as they feed off each other’s antics. He can also come off as arrogant with his art.

Nabu

He was essentially created with a sole purpose: to marry Princess Aisha of Andros and secure his family a spot in the royal lineage. He was trained from practically birth to be a good spouse and king, and as such was teached a variety of politics and household task for this. As the years passed, however, Nabu grew sick and tired of it, so a few days after the official announcement of the engagement between him and Aisha, he ran away from Andros and ended up in Magix during a randomized Teleportia spell. He went as Ophir for months and started working in a local museum, while also keeping tabs on news about Andros and Aisha. This is how he find out about her attending Alfea, and tries to arrange a meeting with her somehow.

He got a higher score for Witch in the WSFST (Witch/Sorcerer/Fairy Standarized Test), but chose to become a Fairy regardless. His power is over shadows and darkness, which was a huge help when escaping Andros without people foiling his plan. He’s the Fairy of Shadows due to his preferred strategy of using any shadow to hide himself as well as manipulate how others perceive it.

He’s naturally nice and affable, and tries to avoid conflict as much as he can, but he can get very passionate about other people’s lives as well as of the things he enjoys, which can end in very weird ways. He shares Diaspro’s love for soap operas and when they meet, they tend to yell at the screen together a LOT. They also relate to each other in their feelings of not being allowed agency on their own lives.

Roy

He’s a Red Fountain alumni, and started working as a sea captain for the Royal Family of Andros a few months after graduating, though he was already working for them during the summers as part of the main boat’s crew. He has known Aisha since she was a little kid, and Aisha considers him a big brother of sorts, though occasionally she’ll refer to him as her Uncle Roy as a joke.

He’s a Sorcerer in Energix, and he got said form after recovering from a nasty magic-resistant illness - having been stuck in Red Fountain for so long, a quick trip around the schools ended up with him absorbing so much ambient aura that the form unlocked on its own. His powers are over wind and air. He doesn’t transform much despite this, as he received more formal training in non-magical combat due to not having fast access to Epsila College for supplementary classes and didn’t really pursue them after graduating either.

He has such a casual way of talking that he has accidentally called a lot of nobles and even the royal family itself as “dude” or by their first names, which has miffed a lot of people and has caused troubles in his job whenever he gets one of the unnecesarily-vindictive nobles. Teredor has raised his eyebrow once or twice whenever he does this, but Niobe finds it endearing and Aisha doesn’t care, which is why he still has a job despite so many noble families claiming for his firing because he didn’t treat them “like nobility”.

Thoren

He’s the son of the original heir to the throne of Eraklyon, before he was forced to step down due to a very particular incident involving him and a mad fairy named Campana. He was raised as nobility and interacted with Sky quite a bit when they were younger, but he’s not really close to him or the rest of the family for that matter, as he always kept to himself.

He’s a bibliophile to the max, loving to read any kind of books and spending his days alone in the castle’s library absorbing as much information as he can. He’s very well-read as a result, but that came with a lack of social skills, which became apparent when he became a Paladin.

He became one of the youngest Paladins to have fully finished his training and studies, as he started and finished in just 4 months, when even Daphne took a year and a half to properly finish herself. He’s well-trained in fighting and healing, but he acts mostly as an ambassador and for talks, as his meek appearance is suited for speaking roles. This came to bite him in the ass, as his awkwardness around people ends up covered by his need to not mess up, which ends in a long, continous internal screaming during speeches during his first years. He has gotten better at talking over time, but he’s still very nervous in very big or important meetings regardless.

[entering-mymind]

Chapter 8 - The Redemption

This is the eighth episode of the series where I have inserted my OC character (Mando’s daughter) into the Disneyplus television show. With her addition I believe this helps the viewers understand the choices Mando makes in the series. Would love to hear feedback! I do not own these characters and the story and dialogue goes to the respected credit of the screenwriters and creators of the show.

The two Scout troopers sped their way back to the city when they stopped and radioed their fellow comrade.

“Speeder bikes have arrived at the checkpoint with the asset awaiting confirmation,” the first trooper said over his comms when the child began squirming in his satchel, giving the trooper no choice but to punch it, “Knock it off. Waiting for confirmation to continue into town,” he ended.

“That’s a go to proceed, but I advise you to double-check,” the operator began, “The Moff just touched down and already took out a squad of local troopers.”

The two Scout troopers glanced at each other in shock.

“Standing by,” the first trooper replied.

“Did he just say that Gideon killed his own men?” the second trooper questioned.

“Oh, who knows? These guys like to lay down the law when they first arrive into town. You know how it is,” the first trooper pointed out as the child stirred again when the trooper hit it once more, “I said, shut up, geez.”

“What is that thing anyways?” the second trooper asked.

“Uh, I don’t know. Maybe Moff wants to eat it. I don’t ask questions.”

“Can I see it?”

“Did you not just hear that Moff Gideon killed a dozen of his own troopers just to make a point,” the first trooper reminded.

“Okay.”

“I get that point. Do you get the point?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Becoming bored the second trooper decided to practice shooting his blaster but couldn’t hit, for the life of him, the item in the ground. Believing his comrade was inadequate, the first trooper also took out his weapon to hit the target but even he could not hit it.

Baffled the first trooper shook his gun to his ear believing the weapon was the issue, not him. Realizing their target practice was useless they put their blasters away when the second trooper made a recommendation.

“Should we offer that thing some water?”

“You just wanna look at it,” the first trooper pointed out.

“So what? You got to see it.”

“Barely. I mean, I grabbed it up off the ground and I stuffed it in the sack.”

“It’s more than I got to see,” the second trooper pouted.

“Look, I’m not taking it out of this bag until I deliver it to the Moff.”

“Fine.”

“Okay. Stop asking.”

The two Scout troopers got off their bikes and stretched their legs when the first trooper radioed again, “Let me check on this thing. This is crazy. Any update yet?”

“That’s a negative. Still waiting on confirmation. He just killed an officer for interrupting him, so this might take a while,” the operator informed.

“Thank you. Standing by still. Unbelievable,” the first trooper sighed along with his comrade.

“Hey, how long has it been since that thing moved?” the second trooper questioned.

“I don’t know, like a minute of two. Don’t worry.”

“Uh, it’s been way longer than a minute.”

“Oh my God,” the first trooper was getting annoyed.

“Shouldn’t we check and see if it’s still alive? You hit it pretty hard.”

“You just wanna see it.”

“We should check and see if it’s hurt. The last thing you want is to give Gideon a bag and have him open it and find whatever is dead,” the second trooper suggested.

“Okay, okay, look,” the first trooper opened the satchel to revel the coherent child,” Here you go. See? Take a peak. Everything’s fine.”

“What is that,” the second trooper began poking the child with his finger.

“I don’t know. It’s a pet or something.”

“A pet? I thought you ,” but the child quickly bite the finger of the second trooper sending him in yelps.

In anger the second trooper vigorously punched the satchel making the child yip in pain.

“Serves you right,” the first trooper stated when IG-11 approached.

“Stop that,” the droid commanded.

“Identify yourself,” the first trooper ordered when both raised their blasters.

“I am IG-11. I am this child’s nurse droid and require that you remand him to me immediately.”

“A nurse droid? I thought it was a hunter. Aren’t IGs usually hunters?” the second trooper stated.

“Yeah, well, evidently this one’s a nurse. I’m sorry, nurse, but you’re gonna have to get out of here,” the first trooper ordered.

IG-11 made his way towards the troopers as did they when the first trooper shot at IG-11 point blank and still missed.

“Are you refusing my request?” IG-11 asked.

“No, I’m telling you to get out of here,” but the droid responded by snapping the first troopers arm and power driving him into the ground.

IG-11 then disarmed the second trooper and then smashed him into his speeder bike repeatedly. The droid then mounted the other bike, powering it up when obtaining the sack and revealing the child, “That was unpleasant. I’m sorry you had to see that,” IG-11 apologized to the child when he sped off towards the city.

                                                       *   *   *

Gideon stood fierce with his troopers positioned neatly behind him ready to go into battle with the wave of his hand. Trapped, Karga, Mando, his daughter, and Cara all looked to each other for a plan when Cara spoke first.

“Is there another way out?” she questioned to Karga since this was the Guild’s establishment.

“No, that’s it,” Karga informed.

“What about the sewers?” young Mando suggested to her father.

“Sewers?” Karga questioned.

“The Mandalorians have a covert down in the sewers,” Mando revealed, “If we can get down there, they can help us escape.”

“Yeah, sewers are good,” Cara said with hope.

“Checking for access points,” Mando pressed a few buttons on his gauntlet when he began scanning with his visor.

“What the hell are they waiting for?” Cara speculated when she witnessed what the troopers were assembling, “Hold up. They’re setting up an E-Web.”

“It’s over,” Karga declared.

“I found the sewer vent,” Mando stated seeing the access point hidden behind a booth.

“Let’s get out of here,” young Mando insisted when her, Cara, and Mando ran at the sewers location dismantling the area in order to expose their escape route. Mando and Cara gripped at the grate but it wasn’t budging.

“The cannon is assembled,” Karga stated seeing a trooper get behind the E-Web ready to fire at will, “How long until the vent is cleared?”

“Blow it,” Cara suggested.

“I’m out of charges,” Mando informed.

“Maybe I could…” but young Mando was cut off.

“No!” Mando enforced.

“Get out of the way,” Cara shouted when she picked up her blaster and started shooting rapidly, but the grate barely cracked.

“Your astute panic suggests that you understand your situation,” Gideon spoke, “I would prefer to avoid any further violence and encourage a moment of consideration. Members of my escort have completed assembly of an E-Web heavy repeating blaster. If you are unfamiliar with this weapon, I am sure that Republican Shock Trooper Carasynthia Dune of Alderaan will advise you that she has witnessed many of her ranks vaporize mid-descent facing the predecessor of this particular model.”

“Or perhaps the disgraced Magistrate Greef Karga should search the wisdom of his years and urge you to lay down your arms and come outside. The structure you are trapped in will be razed in short order and your storied lives will come to an unceremonious end. But maybe not from the latest information given to me,” Gideon said cryptic.

“I am speaking to you Mandalorian hunter, Din Djarin. I am sure you have heard the songs of the Seige of Mandalore when gunships outfitted with similar ordnance laid waste to fields of Mandalorian recruits in the Night of a Thousand Tears, but let us not dwell on the past when we should be looking to the future with our kin.”

By Gideon’s last word he knew what was to come and looked at his daughter in fear.

“You sure do have a tendency for stealing children who are property of the Empire, Din. First the girl and now the child,” Gideon revealed.

“What did he say?” young Mando asked through an escaped breath.

“It wasn’t clear to me at first, where I found it odd that the only bounty hunter in the Guild would deny missions on Tolarian. Why avoid a planet unless you have something to hide. You did an amazing job concealing her from me for fifteen years, but your caution was what made you slip,” Gideon addressed.

“What is he saying? I don’t understand what he is saying?” young Mando was starting to panic when Mando went to her placing his hands on her shoulders.

“I can only guess what you named the asset since Anara never got the chance to tell you. Which I’m sure you can guess it was I who shot her down in that alley,” Gideon reminded Mando, “Ah, of course,” he thought and then came to a conclusion, “Who wouldn’t name a newly adopted child after the first woman a boy never stops loving; his mother. So, Osa,” Gideon addressed young Mando, “How does it feel to finally learn the truth?”

“He’s lying, he’s lying, you’re my father,” young Mando screamed but Mando stayed silent.

“What do you purpose?” Karga shouted at Gideon.

“Reasonable negotiation,” Gideon replied.

“What assurance do you offer?”

“If you’re asking if you can trust me, you cannot. Just as you betrayed our business arrangement, I would gladly break any promise and watch you die at my hand. Or who knows maybe Osa will do that for me,” Gideon stated ecstatic of his accomplishment with her abilities.

With this address, Cara could see objects taking life and the floor beneath them slightly quake, “Mando, calm her,” Cara briefly whispered when Gideon continued talking.

“The assurance I give is this: I will act in my own self-interest which at this time involves your cooperation and benefit. I want both assets back in my possession by nightfall, if not then I will have the E-Web cannon open fire and I will dissect Osa’s body instead,” Gideon ended when he headed back to his ship followed by his Death Troopers.

                                                      *   *   *

“I say we hear him out,” Karga bluntly said without thinking, “Is it true Mando?”

But he wasn’t paying attention to anyone else but Osa.

“You are my father, right?” she said through a tight chest.

“Search your feelings, what do they tell you?” Mando asked wanting her to come to the ultimate conclusion.

“What does that mean? It’s a simple question. Are you or are you not,” young Mando stressed through tears.

“I am your father no matter what, but I need you to give me the vile and syringe,” Mando out stretched his hand seeing the unraveling events. Hesitantly Osa caved and gave Mando what he wanted.

“I’m really sorry kiddo on what you’re going through but the minute we open that door, we’re dead,” Cara informed.

“We’re dead if we don’t,” Karga said, “At least out there, we’ve got a shot.”

“That’s easy for you to say. I’m a Rebel Shock Trooper. They’ll upload me to a Mind Flayer,” Cara said.

“Those aren’t real. That was just war time propaganda,” Karga informed.

“I don’t care to find out. I’m shooting my way out of here.”

“We need to know who we’re up against.”

“I know who he is, its Moff Gideon,” Mando declared.

“No, he can’t be. Moff Gideon was executed for war crimes and experimentation,” Cara clarified but then realized now why Gideon wanted the child and young Mando so bad.

“It’s him. He knows about us and our names,” Mando informed.

“So, what does that prove?” Karga asked.

“Our names are only spoken within the Tribe, never revealed to outsiders, I haven’t heard my name spoken from an outsider since I was a child,” Mando stated.

“On Mandalore?” Karga asked.

“We were not born on Mandalore.”

“But you’re both Mandalorians.”

“Mandalorian isn’t a race,” Cara said.

“It’s a Creed,” Mando confirmed, “I was a Foundling. They raised me in a Fighting Corps. I was treated as one of their own. When I came of age I was sworn to the Creed just like Osa was. The only record of my family name was in the registers of Mandalore. Moff Gideon was an ISB officer during the purge and later was Moff of Tolarian where Osa was given to me at the age of three. That’s how I know it’s him,” Mando said looking over at his daughter who stood frozen while locked in a deadpan stare.

“So Osa’s the reason why you never took jobs on Tolarian?” Karga questioned.

“I wasn’t sure if I had been marked, so I never went back in order to ensure her safety, but Gideon says he needs us, which might mean the child got away safely plus Osa is with us. I was worried when the Ugnaught didn’t respond but if they captured the kid we’d already be dead,” Mando declared.

“Ummm you might want to rethink your statement,” Cara said while pointing to Osa who suddenly fell to her knees hunched over.

“What’s wrong with her?” Karga asked when he noticed a cup floating in front of his face. Perplexed he tapped at the object when the cup flung in the opposite direction, hitting other free floating objects.

“Osa!” Mando screamed about to get the syringe ready when she glared up and raised her hand.

“No!” Osa knew what he was going to do and froze Mando mid-step.

“What are you doing?” Mando questioned through clenched teeth unable to move his body.

“Finally getting control,” Osa declared when she forced Mando, unwillingly, to the ground with her abilities.

Mando tried to fight off the hold that the invisible force had on him, but was unsuccessful. His body contorted to the floor when Osa slide him to a corner of the cantina pinning him to the wall.

Cara discretely reached for her weapon, just wanting to hit Osa in the armor to distract her, but Cara’s motives were revealed. Osa rose to her knees and noticed Cara’s actions, Osa pointed her other hand at Cara and performed the same motion, forcing Cara to the ground and sliding her in the exact corner Mando was pinned to. Seeing both their fates, Karga put his hands up in surrender when all Osa did was nod her head in the same direction her other two hostages were kept.

Complying, Karga sat next to Mando when Osa rose to her feet in a stagger and looked at them in sadness. It appeared Osa was gaining control over her episode and transferred the hold she had on Cara to the exact same hand where she held Mando, she grunted in pain by feeling the force surge through her body and knew the time had come.

“Osa, please, Mi Pequeno, let us go. We have to fight together,” Mando said broken and afraid of what his daughter was going to do.

“No, this time I’m going at it alone,” young Mando approached the shot out window, one hand still pointed at the three when her other hand extended towards the band of troopers, ready to release havoc.

                                                     *   *    *

Seeing an individual draw near, the Stormtroopers were unclear of what to do, put this person down or engage against Gideon’s orders? Some of the troopers raised their weapons for a scare tactic but they were the ones that should have been afraid.

Like an instinct, Osa listened to what the energy inside of her told her. She focused on all the tiny shards of glass scattered on the floor and picked them up with her mind. As if she was a ticking time bomb she could feel the energy wanting to release from her core. Osa would use this to her advantage in order to add extra strength to the glass so it could easily pierce through the trooper’s armor, taking them out.

Finally the moment arise when she let out a bellowing scream, more out of anger than from not being in control. Like a bomb exploding, the troopers didn’t know what hit them as they were punctured by glass and blown off their feet. With the massive blow, the TIE-fighter was propelled backwards and banged itself into an adjacent building.

With the lose of her consciousness, Mando and Cara were immediately released from Osa’s hold, but Karga still sat there frozen as if he had now been pinned by her abilities.

Mando instantly went to his daughter’s aid while Cara witnessed the destruction but was lost for words. Believing they were out of the woods, Cara peered from the window when back up troopers moved in taking a shot.

“Get down!” Cara exclaimed but the trooper’s attention quickly turned to something fast approaching, a speeder bike with IG-11 and the child occupying it drew near coming to their rescue as well.

Throughout the droids journey through the city it took out the surrounding troopers making them scatter. Knowing they would have to get in on the fight, Mando positioned his daughter out of harms way when he ordered Cara to cover him.

Quickly complying Cara hopped on a table rapidly firing her weapon at the new swarms of troopers while Mando instructed her to protect Osa. Cara nodded in approval when Karga and Mando left the cantina to join in on the, now even, fight.

The two held up their own where Mando saw IG-11 being hit several times and going down with the child secured around its chest. Mando wouldn’t lose anyone today and saw the E-Web cannon unoccupied. Seizing his opportunity Mando picked up the heavy artillery and began rapidly firing anything in white or black armor.

Giddy with glee, Cara chuckled and continued firing her own blaster when the door to the cantina was blown open, sending Cara flying to the ground. The sound of the blast got everyone’s attention realizing the cantina had been breached.

Cara immediately collected her weapon trying to keep out of view from the impeding Death Troopers entering the cantina. Just about to round the corner and take her shot, Cara was pulled back from a conscious Osa as the Death Troopers opened fire.

The two pressed their backs against the bar when Cara waited for an opening from the troopers fire. She peered around the corner ready to take aim but was grazed in the arm.

“Ah!’ Cara shouted slamming herself against the bar.

“Are you alright?” Osa was about to tend to Cara’s wound but she suggested something else.

“I’m okay, can you throw them or disarm them somehow?”

“I can try but I need a visual,” Osa stated when she caught a reverse glimpse of the troopers helmets in a wine glass, the reflection reveled an exposed pipe located in the ceiling above them.

Immediately Osa concentrated on the heavy steel above the Death Troopers dropping it on them with a smack and taking them out of commission. Relieved that they were, for now, out of harms way, Osa approached the window to see how their team was doing when she saw Gideon walk towards Mando who wasn’t aware of his exposure.

In surprise, Mando was hit in the back by Gideon’s blast but the Beskar held up, getting Mando’s attention he turned the cannon right at Gideon ready to end him, but Gideon struck first. With one shot Gideon hit the fuel tank, which operated the cannons fire power, engulfing Mando in flames and blasting him into the air several feet and onto his back, going lifeless.

“DAD!” Osa shouted in a frantic, hopping out of the cantina window and straight for her father.

Karga and IG-11 saw Osa and covered her as more troopers began to encircle them. Osa made it to Mando putting her hands underneath his shoulders and trying to lift him, but he was too heavy for her. She immediately fell to the ground with Mando in her arms when blaster fire was directed their way. Without hesitation Osa covered her father’s body with her own absorbing the shots with her armor.

“Obtain the asset,” Gideon pointed at Osa when a team of troopers headed her way.

Seeing the ranks collapse, Cara exited the cantina and shouted for Karga and IG-11 to cover her as she made her way towards the Mandalorians.

“I can’t carry him,” Osa said defeated.

“It’s okay. I’ll get him to safety, here,” Cara handed Osa her blaster signaling for her to take out the advancing troopers.

Cara put her arms underneath Mando’s shoulders and dragged him inside the cantina, the rest followed but was ambushed from another team.

“Stay with me, buddy. We’re gonna get you out of here,” Cara said trying to encourage Mando when Karga dove in as IG-11 and Osa continued firing, taking out as many troopers as they could.

Karga headed for the sewer grate and questioned Cara, “This is our only path out. Can you clear it?”

But her attention was solely on Mando, “Stay with me.”

“I’m not gonna make it,” Mando responded through a strained voice.

“Shut up. You just got your bell rung. You’ll be fine,” she said shaky.

“Please, protect my daughter and the child, she won’t leave me, you have to convince her,” Mando said when Cara removed her hand from behind Mando’s helmet, which was covered in his blood.

“I’m gonna need to take this thing off,” Cara said in certainty.

“No,” he gripped Cara’s hands, preventing her from removing his helmet, “You make sure the children are safe. Osa knows the way in the sewers, once you get to the Mandalorian covert you give my daughter this,” Mando dug underneath his tunic and revealed a necklace with a Mythosaur emblem attached to the end, it seemed symbolic.

“No, you give it to her yourself,” Cara declared when IG-11 entered along with Osa who locked the secondary door behind them.

IG-11 set the child down and confronted Karga who he was unfamiliar with, “If you go near this child, I will have no choice but to kill you,” the droid threatened.

“I understand. Can you do anything to move the grate?” Karga asked in panic.

“Yes, of course.”

“Oh, I love IG units,” Karga praised as IG-11 began welding through the metal.

“Papi!” Osa shouted running at Mando and falling to her knees. She started to look him over when she glared at Cara and noticed her bloody hand, “No, no, no,” Osa said in distress, “IG I need you to scan my dad.”

“Osa,” Mando stressed her name trying to get her to focus on him.

“IG-11, now!” she screamed, rattling the building’s structure.

“Osa, look at me,” Mando placed his hand on the side of her helmet as if he was caressing her cheek and turned her to face him.

Cara could sense a last goodbye and didn’t want to ruin their intimate father/daughter moment.

“Osa, please, you must leave me,” Mando instructed.

“No, I won’t, I can’t. I don’t care, I’ve searched my feelings. You’re my father. You will always be my father,” Osa rested her head on his chest and he placed a hand on her helmet when a burst of flames erupted through the cantina window.

Everyone took cover realizing they were losing time where IG-11 was still chiseling away at the grate.

“You know this is the way,” Mando began raising his daughter’s head, “I can hold them back long enough for you and everyone to escape. Here,” Mando handed Osa the Mythosaur emblem, “You have earned your independence and the title, now you are the Mandalorian,” Mando said proudly.

“No, I won’t leave you,” Osa declared when the cantina door burst open and more flames erupted.

Upon entry, one single Flame Trooper stood in the doorway ready to incinerate the place to the ground. The trooper raised his flame thrower, not giving anyone time to protect themselves when he ignited a ball of flames.

Everyone stared at their demise as Osa would die a warrior’s death at her father’s side when the child, heroically, stepped in front with both hands stretched out. With one flick of his wrist, the child propelled the ball of flames back onto the trooper, igniting an explosion and sending the trooper out of the cantina engulfed in his own fire. In exhaustion the child fell into unconsciousness when IG-11 kicked open the sewer grate.

“Come on! It’s open, let’s go!” Karga informed.

“Go,” Mando tried to convince his daughter.

“We have to move! Now!” Karga shouted.

“I have an idea,” Osa said releasing her grip on her father’s hand.

She went and picked up the child cradling him in her arms, Osa approached Cara placing him in the satchel and then handing it to her gently.

“Take him and this,” Osa gave the emblem as well.

“I’m not leaving both of you,” Cara stated.

“You’re not. My father won’t remove his helmet around others, but he will around me. IG-11 I need you to run a medical diagnostic on him while I go over the plan with Cara,” Osa instructed.

“Of course,” IG-11 said and walked over to Mando kneeling in front of him.

“Do it,” Mando suggested.

“Do what, your daughter has instructed me to run a medical diagnostic on you,” IG-11 informed.

“Don’t bother. I know my fate. Just get it over with. I’d rather you kill me than some Imp.”

“I told you. I am no longer a hunter. I am a nurse droid.”

“IGs are all hunters.”

“Not this one. I was reprogrammed by the late Ugnaught named Kuiil. I need to remove your helmet if I am to diagnosis you,” IG-11 placed its hand underneath Mando’s helmet when he pulled his blaster on the droid.

“Try it and I’ll kill you. It is forbidden. No living thing has seen me without my helmet since I was sworn back into the Creed,” Mando revealed briefly reliving the tender moment he shared with Anara when he glanced over looking at his pride and joy.

                                                      *   *   *

“The sewers can be very confusing,” Osa started, “If I’m visualizing my whereabouts correct, in order to reach the covert you must head straight and then turn right. You will have to make a left at the third corridor and then at the fork you must go left, now this is where it gets tricky.”

“Aren’t you going to lead us?” Karga questioned.

“Yes, okay scratch that, just head straight until you can’t go any further and then turn right. I’ll meet you there.”

“Promise me you’ll both be there,” Cara said.

“You have my word,” Osa swore and then watched Karga, Cara, and the child leave the cantina.

She sighed in sadness and then turned to see her father’s blaster pointed at IG-11, “Papi, no, don’t,” Osa put her hand on the weapon signaling for him to lower it.

Surprisingly he complied and just gazed at his daughter in taking her image for one last time, but she had other intentions. Without thought Osa removed her gloves believing this would give her additional assistance to heal her father.

“What are you doing?” Mando was slowly fading.

“I’m going to heal you, but I need IG-11 to run a diagnostic on your head so I know where to concentrate, which means I will have to remove your helmet. You’re not going to try and shoot me too?” Osa attempted to joke but could sense the light slipping from her father.

Mando tried to chuckle when Osa placed her hand underneath his helmet and clicked it open. Slowly she lifted it off not wanting to cause him further damage or discomfort. Osa placed his helmet beside her and looked upon her father’s face, which she hadn’t seen in almost a year.

He was still very handsome, even through all the blood that stained his skin and ran from his nose. She smiled wide while glaring at his round face that had stubble slowly growing back, his brown hair –that had a touch of white on the sides- was disgruntled and drenched in sweat while it slightly curled at the ends. His brown eyes beamed with pride up at her and glistened over, believing this would be his last image of his daughter and he didn’t want it to be of her helmet.

“Let me look at you,” Mando said through a shaky voice.

“But it’s not my date of existence,” Osa assured.

“No, it’s not,” Mando replied not caring.

Without hesitation Osa immediately clicked her helmet open revealing similar features he possessed but feminine. Osa couldn’t understand how she could not be Din Djarin’s daughter, she had both his hair and eye color, the same quirk of the ends of her hair curling from the humidity, to even sharing the shape of his nose and jawline.

Immediate tears filled her eyes when she removed her father’s glove and placed his actual hand finally on her cheek, absorbing his touch and smelling his skin. Din wasted no time and finally caressed her cheek, in taking the smoothness of her skin with his thumb while feeling her tears rain from her chocolate eyes.

Osa smiled into his palm and then placed it on the ground so she could dig her face into the crook of his neck, slightly crying. Din put his hand into her hair truly embracing her closer when he placed his nose beside her head. There, right above her ear, was always a distinct smell she always possessed.

He remembered when Osa was little and would fall asleep in his arms, he would rest his nose in that exact spot inhaling her scent; Anara’s scent, the only trait she inherited from her mother. He would brush Osa’s hair out from her face, hoping to relax her from the horrid nightmares that invaded her dreams. He would even hum a tune that he remembered his mother use to sing to him as a child, in order to bring his daughter solace.

Even now, Din wanted to brush his hand through her hair and hum the melody in order to bring her closure, but Osa quickly rose and noticed the touch of white coloring the sides of his hair. She went and smoothed the area with her thumb showcasing a half smile.

“Oh no, I hope this isn’t due to me,” pointing out how stressful she had made his life.

“Never, Mi Pequeno, just getting old,” Din replied finally seeing her fully smile; his smile.

In reaction he smiled back reaching for her once again when she didn’t waste the chance, kissed his palm and then placed his hand on her cheek. Realizing time was of the essence, Osa set her father’s arm down and instructed IG-11 to run the medical diagnostic. The droid ignited a red beam and scanned from the top of Din’s head to the bottom of his chest.

“He has suffered severe damage to his central processing unit,” IG-11 informed.

“English please,” Osa declared confused.

“His cerbal matter is fried,” IG-11 tried to be funny.

“I don’t speak medical.”

“He means by brain,” Din clarified.

“I tried a joke. It is meant to put everyone at ease,” IG-11 clarified.

“We will need to reprogram your sense of humor later,” Osa stated when she nodded her head for encouragement to herself and placed her hands under her father’s head, “IG-11 once I heal him still spray him with bacta incase I can not close the wound. It’s just me this time. Okay, here we go.”

Osa secured her hands behind her father’s head and closed her eyes, sensing the injury, seeing the injury, and then willing it to heal by transferring her source of energy into him. Through her touch she began propelling her own essence into her father, sending him in discomfort because it was happening faster than his body could handle.

He closed his eyes, concentrating not to pass out when the blood on his face started to retract up his nostril and reenter the cuts on his face when even those sealed. Osa was deep in concentration, deeper than she had ever expected to go and saw the very thing her father always kept hidden from her; the memory of when he received her.

The event played out like a film, she could see through his eyes, the commotion of chaos, and dead Stormtroopers lining the alley. There in the distance a woman stood, mouthing words he couldn’t hear, she prevented his advancement with a hand of warning when she was gunned down. The memory continued rapidly as it imprinted within her mind, but the overload was too much when Osa dropped to the ground unconscious, unable to register the rest. Once her hold on him was released, Din opened his eyes and breathed heavy, exhausted and yet rejuvenated at the same time.

Seeing this as his cue, IG-11 sprayed the bacta ointment on the back of Din’s head when he suddenly realized Osa was not in his sight. Faster than he expected, Din sat up, noticing his daughter’s body twisted and not moving.

“Osa,” Din got to his knees and cradled her head in his hands, noticing the exact same white that painted the sides of his hair now colored hers, “What happened?”

Din caught a glimpse of his reflection in his helmet noticing a completely healed face and a full head of brown hair. He brushed the white with his thumb on Osa’s head hoping to smear the color out, but it had become permanent.

“I must run another diagnostic on you to make sure you have healed completely,” IG-11 declared.

“I’m not worried about me, scan my daughter now!” Din commanded and the droid complied.

IG-11 performed the exact same scan as he did with Din, from the top of her head ending at the bottom of her chest, “She is completely healthy, just depleted, the reason for her unconsciousness.”

“But how did she receive the white from my hair?”

“It appears the only logical answer would be is she absorbed some of the years you already lived.”

“You’re suggesting she de-aged me by taking years off from my life and absorbing them herself?” Din questioned in anger.

“Yes.”

“How do I take them back?” he shouted in frustration.

“I believe you can not because you do not possess abilities like her.”

Din exasperated in sadness, he brushed Osa’s hair away from her face and kissed her forehead, he then placed his own forehead on hers feeling defeated because it was his duty to protect her, not the other way around.

Understanding there was nothing he could do, Din reassembled both their armor and helmets ready to rejoin the others in the sewers.

                                                    *   *   *

Cara, Karga, and the child waited, becoming a bit impatient, Cara was starting to get worried when she heard loud clanking footsteps draw near. Around the corner they noticed a light shine as Mando had his helmet flashlight illuminated. He staggered a bit due to carrying Osa in his arms.

Cara approached in concern, “What happened to her? Are you alright?”

“We’re both fine, she’s just unconscious,” Mando informed.

“Will she recover soon?”

“I hope so,” when everyone moved out.

All five of them walked aimlessly through the tunnels and became frustrated.

“Do you know which way to go Mando?” Karga asked.

“No, I don’t know these tunnels like Osa. I’ve only entered from the bazaar.”

“Well, if we get the smell of sulfur and we follow it, it’ll lead us up to the plains where the river flows,” Karga suggested as everyone continued walking.

“If we keep this up the Imps will catch us before we make it to the ship. We need the Mandalorians to escort us to safety,” Mando stated.

“Ugh, this place is a maze. What did Osa say before? Go straight and then turn right, then at the third corridor turn left,” Cara began going through the instructions Osa briefly laid out, “There was something about at the fork we go left.”

“Which we did, but then she said after that is where it becomes tricky,” Karga chimed in.

“Tricky is right.”

“Wait, I think I know where we are,” Mando was starting to get his bearings because these corridors was where the younglings liked to play hide and seek, and the place he would always find his daughter, “We’re close, turn here.”

Everyone followed Mando when they rounded one more corner and then stepped down into an abandoned area that was only occupied by a pile of battle scorned Mandalorian helmets and armor. Shocked and then saddened, Mando slowly approached and knelt before his fallen comrades. He placed Osa in front of him when he picked up an empty helmet analyzing the damage and who use to wear it.

Slowly Cara drew near afraid of Mando’s reaction when she suggested that they leave.

“You go. Take the ship. I can’t leave it this way. Did you know about this?” Mando turned to Karga, “Is this the work of your bounty hunters?” his voice became angry.

“No. When you and the kiddo left the system and took the prize, the fighting ended and the hunters just melted away. You know how it is? They’re mercenaries. They’re not zealots,” Karga explained.

“Did you do this? Did you?” Mando laid Osa down when he rose to his feet digging his finger into Karga’s chest and getting into his face.

“No!” Karga shouted back.

“It was not his fault,” the female Armorer exclaimed while stepping out of the Armory, “With your daughter’s pleas we revealed ourselves. We knew what could happen if we left the covert,” The Armorer approached the pile, “The Imperials arrived shortly thereafter. This is what resulted,” she glared at the armor also in sadness.

“Did any survive?” Mando questioned and put Osa back in his arms.

“I hope so. Some may have escaped off-world,” she began placing the armor into a bin.

“Come with us,” Mando suggested.

“No. I will not abandon this place until I have salvaged what remains. What happened to your daughter?”

“She is unconscious.”

“Why?”

Confused Mando believed everyone knew of her episodes, “You know why.”

“Hmm, I know more than what you think,” the Armorer said cryptic and then pushed the bin into the Armory.

“Wait,” Mando rushed after her as everyone else followed.

Mando handed Osa to IG-11 so he could pursue the conversation more freely.

“All these years and you’ve known something about her?” Mando started but the Armorer was busy melting down a chest plate and began her own topic.

“Show me the one whose safety deemed such destruction,” the Armorer commanded when Cara unfolded the satchel the child was kept in reveling it, “This is the one that both of you hunted, then you saved?”

“Yes. But it helped save me as well,” Mando reminded.

“From the Mudhorn?”

“Yes.”

“It looks helpless just like when your daughter was small, but we all witnessed what she can do.”

“He can do the same and move things with his mind, tell me what you know,” Mando was getting frustrated, “For fifteen years I have searched for answers to help her, so she wouldn’t live in fear of herself and this whole time you have been with holding necessary information.”

“Silence your tongue, unlike yourself I am a descendent from Mandalore so I know the stories of which have been passed down from our history. What I can reveal is the songs of eons past tell of battles between Mandalore the Great, and an order of sorcerers called Jedi that fought with such powers like hers and what you compare with the child.”

“The Jedi, are they an enemy? Is that why you never revealed these stories in order to protect her?”

“Yes and no. Their kinds were enemies, but Osa and this child are not. Just as you were given Osa, by Creed, the child is also in your care.”

“You wish me to train the child?”

“It is too weak. It would die. You have no choice. You must reunite it with its own kind.”

“Where?”

“This, you must determine.”

“You expect me to search the galaxy for the home of this creature and deliver it to a race of enemy sorcerers?”

“You did for your daughter, besides it appears these two are more connected then meets the eye. She will most likely benefit as well. This is the way.”

“Hey, these tunnels will be swarming with Imps in a matter of minutes. We should at least discuss an escape plan,” Cara informed with a hint of panic.

“If you follow the descending tunnel, it will lead you to the underground river. It flows downstream toward the lava flats,” the Armorer instructed.

“I think we should go,” Karga said.

“I’m staying. I need to help her and Osa needs time to heal,” Mando declared.

“You must go. These children are in your care, by Creed, until they have reached their day of independence or reunited with their own kind you are their father. This is the way,” the Armorer finished what she had been forging in the fire and turned to Mando, “You have earned your Signet,” in her design she forged a skeleton in the Mudhorn’s shape and welded it on his right pauldron, “Never have we had a clan of three, lead them well.”

“Thank you. I will and wear this with honor,” Mando said with sincerity.

“We should go,” Karga stated.

“IG, please guard the outer hallway. A scouting party draws near,” the Armorer said when IG-11 handed Karga the unconscious Osa and exited the Armory.

“I have one more gift for your journey,” the Armorer began, “Have you trained in the Rising Phoenix?”

“When I was a boy, yes,” Mando declared.

“Then this will make you complete,” the Armorer held out a jetpack Mando previously desired.

“Thank you.”

“When the time is right you will begin your drills. Until you know it, it will not listen to your commands.”

“I understand,” suddenly a wave of blaster fire and screams could be heard when IG-11 came back.

“You are protected,” the droid clarified.

“More will come. You must go,” the Armorer said.

“Come with us,” Mando hoped.

“My place is here,” she reminded, “Restock your munitions.”

IG-11 took Osa back from Karga when Mando began replenishing his depleted artillery.

“IG, also carry this for Din Djarin until he is ready to wear it. Now go. Down to the river and across the plains. Be safe on your journey,” the Armorer ended.

“Thank you,” Mando replied as everyone left and headed for the riverbank.

                                                     *   *   *

The armorer sat on her knees with her welding tools crossed in front of her chest, a team of Stormtoopers entered her sanctuary uninvited as they commanded to know the whereabouts of the criminals. She sat in silence contemplating which one to take out first when the decision was made for her by the trooper, who clanked his blaster against her helmet, demanded to know where they were.

Like a striking snake, she wielded her tools with fierce blows, smashing metal against armor taking out her assailants with ease. Their blasters didn’t even graze her Beskar due to her quick reflexes and combat skills. She stood in victory as her attackers lay on the floor where they belonged.

                                                         *   *   *

It didn’t take long until they reached the lava river when they came upon a large gondola powered by an R2 unit. Upon inspection the boat didn’t seem in good shape plus the ferry droid seemed unoperational as Mando pointed out.

“Yeah, but if we push the boat out, we can get it to float downstream. Come on,” Karga suggested and began pushing but the boat didn’t move.

“Looks old. Will it take the heat?” Mando questioned for their safety.

“You got a better idea?” Karga said frustrated.

“Guess not,” Mando realized when him and Karga started to push but the boat would not budge.

In agitation Mando kicked the boat and grabbed a pole hoping to lodge the gondola free. Karga and Mando began their tactic again but Cara had a different solution.

“You guys mind getting out of the way?” she said while holding the child in one hand and her blaster gun in the other.

Immediately Karga and Mando moved as she opened rapid fire freeing the boat from being cemented to the edge.

“Good job,” Karga complimented when everyone climbed aboard as it began floating down stream.

“Watch your feet. It’s molten lava,” IG-11 informed while placing Osa down.

“No kidding,” Mando sarcastically said under his breath while checking on his daughter who would have most likely made that comment, “Come on Osa, wake up,” he put his hand on the side of her helmet a bit concerned why she was still unconscious.

Granted the child still seemed depleted from stopping the fireball, it was only logical that Osa was still unconscious because she had healed a massive injury in his head, plus took off years from his life, which meant she absorbed them, possibly even aging herself up.

Suddenly a beeping occurred getting everyone’s attention, drawing their blasters as they watched the R2 ferry droid thrive with life. It broke through the hardened lava that had encased it, revealing arms and legs as it extended to a standing position with a stick ready to steer its passengers.

“I don’t suppose anybody here speaks droid?” Mando asked.

“I believe he is asking where we would like to go,” IG-11 chimed in.

“Down river. To the lava flat,” Karga instructed.

With this the droid complied happily chirping while rowing them down the lava bank. The ride wasn’t long when Karga spotted the opening.

“That’s it. We’re free,” Karga said in enthusiasm.

Mando stepped forward igniting his heat sensor on his visor, spotting a team of Stormtroopers awaiting their arrival.

“No, we’re not. Stormtroopers. They’re flanking the mouth of the tunnel. It looks like an entire platoon. They must know we’re coming,” Mando informed.

“Stop the boat,” Cara demanded, “Hey droid, I said stop the boat. Hey I’m talking to you, I said stop,” Cara approached the droid and blasted its dome clean off.

“We’re still moving,” Karga said.

“Looks like we fight,” Cara stated.

“There are too many,” Mando declared.

“Then what do you suggest? Both of our strongest defenses are decommissioned,” Cara pointed to the child and Osa, “I can’t surrender,” she added.

“They will not be satisfied with anything less than the child,” IG-11 began, “This is unacceptable. I will eliminate the enemy and you will escape.”

“You don’t have that kind of firepower, pal,” Mando reminded, “You wouldn’t even get to daylight.”

“That is not my objective,” IG-11 said.

“We’re getting close. Saddle up,” Cara handed the child back to IG-11 when she moved to the front of the boat prepping for battle.

“I still have the security protocols from my manufacturer. If my designs are compromised I must self-destruct,” IG-11 informed.

“What are you talking about?” Mando asked walking up to the droid.

“I am not permitted to be captured. I must be destroyed,” IG-11 said.

“Are we gonna keep talking or get out of here?” Karga declared.

“I can no longer carry this for you,” IG-11 set down Mando’s jetpack, “Nor can I watch over the child.”

“Wait. You can’t self-destruct. Your base command is to watch the child. That supersedes your manufacturer’s protocol, right? Right?” Mando tried to find a loophole for the droid.

“This is correct,” IG-11 confirmed.

“Good. Now, grab a blaster and help us shoot our way out.”

“Victory through combat is impossible. We will be captured. Your children will be lost. Sadly, there is no scenario where the child is saved, in which I survive.”

“Listen, you’re not going anywhere. We need you. Let’s just come up with a…,” but Mando was cut off.

“Please tell me the child will be safe in your care. If you do so, I can default to my secondary command.”

“But you’ll be destroyed.”

“And you will live, and I will have served my purpose.”

“No. We need you,” Mando’s voice almost broke.

“There is nothing to be sad about. I have never been alive,” IG-11 informed.

“I’m not sad,” Mando tried to pass off.

“Yes, you are. I’m a nurse droid. I’ve analyzed your voice.”

IG-11 handed the child to Mando when the droid stroked the tip of the child’s ear with care, without thought IG-11 stepped into the lava river and walked towards the mouth of the tunnel, its legs slowly disintegrating from the intense heat, but he proceeded forward in determination.

                                                      *   *   *

The troopers stood fierce, blasters drawn, ready to take out their assailants when IG-11 emerged from the tunnel and spoke a warning, “Manufacturer’s protocol dictates I can not be captured,” a plate slide down from its chest revealing the thermal detonator already activated, “I must be destroyed,” when IG-11 exploded taking out all the troopers with him.

Slowly the boat glided forward revealing the destruction IG-11 left behind, no trooper survived where only fire burned. Cara had her gun drawn ready in case for a second wave but none followed.

All was quiet when suddenly the sound of a TIE-Fighter soared overhead as Cara stated the obvious, “Moff Gideon!”

Everyone drew their blasters firing at the ship but their firepower did not penetrate the fighter’s steel.

“He missed,” Karga said.

“He won’t next time,” Mando informed.

“Our blasters are useless against him,” Cara pointed out.

“Can you wake up the kiddo? Or let’s make the baby do the magic hand thing. Come on, baby! Do the magic hand thing,” Karga held up his hand displaying three fingers hoping the child would understand but it only waved back at him in glee, “I’m out of ideas.”

“I’m not,” Mando said determined.

“Here he comes,” Cara shouted raising her weapon when Mando strapped on his jetpack.

Gideon approached head on, ready to take them all out, assets or no assets, when he blasted his cannon fire but Mando shot straight into the sky. Immediately Mando released his grappling hook, strapping onto the TIE-fighter and igniting his jetpack so as to get a firm grip.

Mando landed on top of the fighter, getting a visual on Gideon inside trying to blast his way through but the shields held up. With one turn of his wheel, Mando lost his hold and was flung onto the fighter’s wing. Desperately he held on for dear life, grabbing a thermal detonator but the wind pushed it out of his hand.

Gideon attempted a few more maneuvers but Mando was able to secure his last detonator and released his grip. Instantly a rapid beeping informed Gideon of the device but it was to late. The detonator exploded sending the fighter into a wielding spiral and crashing in the distance. Falling hard and fast, Mando ignited his jetpack allowing him to ease into his landing.

“That was impressive, Mando. Very impressive,” Karga complimented, “It looks like both your Guild rates have just gone up.” Mando tilted his head hoping Karga would receive the hint, “Sorry not the kiddos, her secret is safe,” Karga stated.

“Any more Stormtroopers?” Mando asked.

“I think we cleaned up the town,” Cara said in confidence, “I’m thinking of staying around just to be sure.”

“You’re staying here?” Mando questioned with bafflement.

“Well why not? Nevarro is a very fine planet. And now that the scum and villainy have been washed away, it’s very respectable again,” Karga informed.

“As a bounty hunter hive?” Mando asked.

“Some of my favorite people are bounty hunters. And perhaps, this specimen of a solider might consider joining our ranks,” Karga tried smooth talking Cara.

“Yeah. I’ve got some clerical concerns regarding my chain code,” she informed.

“And if you would agree to become my enforcer, clerical concerns would be the least of your worries,” Karga hoped he was convincing her, “But you, my friend, you and your daughter will be welcomed back into the Guild with open arms. So go off and enjoy yourself. And when you’re ready to return, you will have the pick of all quarries,” Karga stated in honesty.

“I’m afraid I have more pressing matters at hand,” Mando said taking the child from Cara and moving towards his daughter.

“Take care of them,” Cara said with sincerity.

“Or maybe, they’ll take care of you,” Karga spoke hypothetically.

Mando strapped the child to his chest, double checking he was secure when he picked up his daughter in his arms, curling her body close. Mando ignited his jetpack and rose into the sky while Karga and Cara watched them fade into the distance.

Once Mando reached the ship he placed Osa in her bed hoping she would awaken soon. He placed his hand on the side of her helmet gazing at her with affection when Mando placed the child next to her.

“Do you think you can awaken her?” Mando asked the child but it only stared back at him, snuggling up next to her.

Realizing he gave it a shot Mando knew he had one last thing to do. In honor, Mando buried Kuiil creating a rock grave and placing Kuiil’s headgear and goggles as his marker, forever leaving Kuiil’s legacy behind.

Mando went back to check on his children and noticed the child was gnawing on something, “What do you got there?” Mando reached for the item and realized it was the Mythasour emblem, “I didn’t think I’d see this again or either of you,” Mando spoke while pondering over so much.

“Why don’t you hang onto that until she wakes up,” he handed the emblem back to the child when it started suckling on it again, “Can you keep her company?” Mando asked as the child snuggled back up against Osa, drifting off to sleep himself. Mando smiled and placed a blanket over the two when he went to the cockpit, fired up the Razor Crest and headed into the vast darkness of space.

                                                     *   *    *

At the crash site Jawas had already began collecting parts to sell. They rummaged through vigorously trying to find all the best parts when suddenly a crackling startled them. A bright flame sparked but then was replaced with a saber, colored black, cutting through the TIE-fighter’s steal creating a path of escape. Once freed, out stepped a furious Gideon searching for his assailants, with no luck he climbed to the top of his destroyed fighter, cape billowing in the wind, and gripped in his hand was the Mandalore sacred relic that had united the clans; the dark saber.

[ask-the-cordium-crew]

the experiments behind closed doors (the sisters) a WKTC story

warning: 

my grammar and punctuation aren’t the best i hope you can understand 

as for a second warning this story is extremely dark it goes into details about the experiments the character dark mark also known as actor mark dose on two faunus sisters you have been warned i hope you enjoy the story! click the read more link for some extra info about this story 

experiment log: entry number 7 (the twin sisters) 

“this is mark Edward fischbach ...thanks to the help of rd. walts and Salem i was able to acquire two child sized tubes i also have the equipment to continue my experiments each experiment i attempt proves different results”

“the first 3 experiments attempted were complete failures subjects 1 and 2 died before transformation could even began dying from complete organ failure and blood loss what a pity.... it has been noted those with much stronger aura can endure much more punishment and can handle the transformation”

“subject 3 a spider faunus they seemed very promising at the start able to handle the torture and tests at first even the transformation into a skull fanger began with success sadly though in the middle of the transformation the subject appeared to die from complications with the venom beginning to be produced in the lower buttock the accelerated growth killed the man with in a few days once dead all further transformation stopped at a halt i learned that a subject needs to be alive for the transformation to fully take place��

“subjects 4 and 5 we’re more of a success but still... somewhat failures subject 4 was fed given water hell survived the transformation but... still remained enough of their mind to cry in a somewhat human voice and still had one human like arm left over from the transformation subject was terminated in fear they would over time gain their mind fully back subject 5? well subject 5 I've already well documented and has been ONE OF MY MOST SUCCESSFUL EXPERIMENTS YET!”

in the audio log recorded by mark he could be heard laughing loudly in a sadistic voice 

“... the dog turned into a complete beowolf alpha the only thing that remained of who she once was? hmm nothing major just a different colored pair of ears with this experiment i also sewed the woman's mouth closed while she was still somewhat faunus like and when she fully transformed her mouth had grown in to be unable to be opened leading to the newly formed beowolf alpha to be completely silent but still violent in nature they have no pack of their own”

“experiment number 6....  it would have been a most likely successful experiment if it weren’t for GOD DAM ABE COMING IN KNOCKING OUT THE TWO WHO ARE MEANT TO HELP GUARD THE MANSION THAT STUPID TRAITOROUS BITCH KILLED HER... now i have to watch my back knowing Abe will probably get help with taking me down but i know Salem won’t let that happen”

“but now onto my most recent experiment shall i?”

“day 1 Monday 10 am in the morning Dr. walts and hazel had brought the equipment into my home hazel of course was doing all the heavy lifting he didn’t know what all this stuff was for but thankfully did not question it Dr. walts had me sign a few things i payed him ten thousand Len hazel finished bringing the equipment in after 30 minutes before leaving Dr. walts gave me up to 50 gallons worth of the goop from one of the Grimm pits i thanked him and he soon left”

“day 1 Monday 12 pm me and my butler Benjamin had finished installing the equipment and now i waited in my lab telling Benjamin to go get the shipment that was due about now Benjamin was about to leave but i heard... emerald try and offer to get it for him he tried to deny but i came out i gave emerald a dark look but let her go get it she returned an hour later carrying it in struggling a small bit”

“she didn’t know what was inside but from the look on her face she clearly didn’t like what it was now why did she want to go and get my shipment? well she wanted to let Benjamin have some time to relax plus she did need some fresh air that girl likes to thing i am an idiot... she really left to get some time away from me thats why she took so long hmm... i do understand why she might want to stay away from me after what happened between me and her a few weeks ago hell... she was still healing from the incident”

“day 1 Monday 2 pm i had opened the create and let the two twin girls out of it they were two sheep faunus it seemed i gave them food and what else but they begged for their lives and asked to be brought home to their parents what pathetic little animals they’d be much better being what they should be treated as TWO MONSTERS WHO ARE ONLY GOOD FOR KILLING OR BEING KILLED BY SOME HUNTER OR HUNTRESS”

“of course i ignored them and after they finished eating at 2:30 pm i began the torture from the hours of 2:30 pm to 6 pm after torturing them they were given food and water inside bowls they didn’t deserve to eat like A HUMAN WOULD”

“Tuesday day 2 12 pm... i came into my personal lab and saw one of the girls outside her cage she seemed to have picked the lock with her hair pin i had not noticed before however the other girl was still in the cage hell she even tried to re lock it behind her sister my my she was so quick to rat her sister out her sister was about to yell at her younger sibling but i quickly grabbed onto her shirt and punched her till her nose was broken i snapped the nose back in place and shoved her back into the cage”

“the one girl who stayed in the cage i decided to reward with a small chocolate for staying where she belonged why would i do such a thing she was a rat after all well i wasn’t just feeling nice i liked how she knew there was no point in trying to escape i can respect a faunus when they know their place”

“hmm as for the other girl? well i damaged her skull with my attack i found out after an x ray scan that taught her not to try it again”

“Tuesday day 2 3 pm i came back and decided it was finally time to test out my new equipment”

“i had the girls undress into a pair of grey bras and panties i did look away after all i am still a gentlemen and well i might be a monster to Abe but i am no kiddie diddler that was too low even for someone like me after they changed i carefully set up some oxygen tanks outside the machinery and attached an oxygen mask onto both the girls not just that i carefully cut some holes into their necks and attached some feeding tubes along with IV drips into their arms”

“by 4 PM i had the terminals set up i made sure my equipment was working correctly the IV drips were working and the feeding tubes were working fine i then activated the submerge button filling both their tanks up top to bottom with the goop”

“thanks to my new equipment i could use cameras from inside the tanks to record for me how they changed over prolonged exposure to the strange goop that filled their tanks so i wouldn’t need to lift a finger besides replacing their IV bags and refilling their food and air”

“and thus the experiment finally began”

“day 3 Wednesday time doesn’t matter but it was early in the morning the first change began their skin began to change black i decided to still run a test on them both for the trouble making sister i carefully reached into her tank and put on some underwater headphones and exposed her to a constant broadcast of horrible sounds making her listen to the screams of past experiments begging for help and made her listen to myself constantly telling her she's useless no one loves her reminding her that her own flesh and blood betrayed her this seemed to have caused her to struggle with in the tank and her mind to be filled with anger depression and fear”

“as for the one who seemed to want to follow orders? i did the same thing however! i let her listen to peaceful music animal noises and words of encouragement on loop i made one feel loved and one feel hated and worthless wondering if this would affect their change”

“day 4 Thursday the next change seemed to have taken place over night the one given the negative feedback had her skull showing her skin slowly being removed from her face her eyes already a deep red and a glow starting in her mouth the top of her skull was partly cracked and hell her ribs along with her spine seemed to be starting to pop out of her chest”

“it seems the negative feedback was turning her into an apathy”

“as for the one with the positive feedback? her face was beginning to turn into a giant hole at the top of her head the sides of her face and the bottom of her chin their started to grow these large sharp almost spike like bones using her skull as a base i carefully used one of the mini cameras and looked into her mouth in her throat it was beginning to stretch out and appearing inside was 4 smaller spikes and of course everything was starting to turn into a deep glowing red” 

“... it seemed the one who was being treated good being fed candy and other foods that might cause acid reflex began transforming into a blind worm but oddly enough although she was starting to show signs of growth she wouldn’t fully fill the tank she would be a much smaller verion of the blind worm it must have been the fact she was still a child that made the growth only go so far”

“day 5 Friday food was no longer required for the one girl her arms were shrinking in size but growing in length and her fingers becoming very sharp and no skin left just bone her midsection near her pelvis area began to rip and tear soon creating holes see thru holes in the skin her eyes were now cold and red and it was beginning to be hard to tell she was even female let alone a faunus at this point hmm... though something odd happened because the fact she was once a sheep faunus her blackened skin was beginning to grow a black coat of fur her head was even beginning to be covered in it not much but enough to cover up the cracks speaking of her pelvis despite blood coming from it the bone had started to cover it like how an apathy’s pelvis is covered in an odd triangular bone her ribs had fully covered her chest at this point” 

“as for the other girl her face had fully transformed along with her head her arms and legs also seemed to slowly being converted into extra skin and a bony armor for her worm like body the headphones were removed from both at this point very carefully this girl didn’t need her breathing mask anymore her growth was starting to come to a halt but her body didn’t stop transforming yet however unlike her sister she was almost fully transformed and she wasn’t growing the weird wool like fur just a slimy coat of skin that seemed to burn my skin a bit upon touch” 

“a week later me and Benjamin loaded the Grimm onto my personal ship given to me as a present for my 20th birthday we kept the Grimm in the tubes as their transformation was complete they needed to be released thankfully the tubes were strong enough to hold them both”

“the older sister was a fully formed apathy the only thing that made her different from most apathy was the sheep like coat so she was dropped off in a small abandoned town in a frozen wasteland by dropped off i mean we were in the air we opened the hatch and let her crash to the ground letting glass break and her to escape hell it seemed their were a few apathy their already they didn’t seem to attack her i would have loved to stay and watch hell i am sure walts would have loved the footage but it was much to dangerous i knew what apathy were capable of”

“the younger sister was a very small blind worm fully transformed but no where near the size of a blind worm found in the wild though doesn’t mean she was small just means she barely was bigger than the standard huntress she was dropped off in a desert climate we did the same thing dropping her high enough so the glass would break but she wouldn’t be killed on impact of course after escaping she tried to shoot an acid like projectile at us but we escaped with barely any damages to the ship” 

“hmm i am disappointed in the fact these Grimm are never perfect but hopefully these differences would help them in combat one way or another perhaps these differences might even make them more deadly in some ways” 

“this is mark Edward fischbach otherwise known as dark mark signing off”

the audio diary ends 

this story is number 1 of 4 stories that will be released leading up to the anniversary of who killed markiplier 

this story was inspired by the comic series handplates by zara i hope you all enjoyed! 

[writing-yj]

Robin x Reader: The Bird Tattoo~Part Seven (Soulmate AU)

A/n: Angsty as hell, at least in the beginning, and this part is very long. I feel like I sloppily explained Mockingbird’s (your) backstory, so should I made a post that is specifically for Mockingbird’s backstory?

By the way, I absolutely love it when I get feedback from readers. I love getting messages and comments about my writing; it gives me a ton of motivation to continue. I’ll be cranking out parts, getting one out almost every day. Please let me know what you think, be it by ask or inbox!

You and the rest of the team were in the med bay, and for good reason. You were all pretty banged up, fortunately, with injuries that wouldn’t take too long too heal. The worst one being (out of all of them) a cracked rib, as far as you knew. Most of the pain came from being sore, and M’gann was mentally overwhelmed from having to use her powers constantly.

     While they were awake and scattered around your ‘bed’ and talking, you were once out cold. And you pretended to still be out, partially because you wanted to hear what they were saying and you didn’t want to face them. You noticed how unhappy they were when they got here. Otherwise you didn’t feel like moving yet.

     “I don’t know how she broke from the mind link,” Megan said and shook her head. “She was there, and then she wasn’t. Like she shoved me, or, us out of her head. That could be what weakened me.”

     That made you feel worse.

     “I know she had her reasons for what she did, but,” Artemis didn’t want to admit that she, too, was upset with her best friend. “Some of us could have gotten killed. It’s not unforgivable, but I need to know more.”

     Conner was pissed at you because M’gann got hurt; his protective nature was the source of that. Wally was annoyed, not quite angry. He had his fair share of reckless decisions, but this wasn’t something he could entirely ignore. Kaldur lightly said he was disappointed in you. He wasn’t very angry either, just disappointed. You hated disappointing your leaders, and he was one of them.

     “Mockingbird was reckless, I understand that much.” Robin said quietly. He sounded close to you. “And she put us in danger along with herself. But it’s my fault this happened.”

     “She’s the one who ditched us, how is it your fault?” Conner questioned.

     Robin sat on the edge of a bed near yours. “Because I deleted everything on her tablet. It had everything that could convince the Justice League that The Doctor was still alive. If she showed them that, they would have believed her.”

     “I had a feeling there were going to be more consequences than just her anger.” Wally stated. “But you guys saw M. She was practically possessed and out for blood. I think she would have still gone after him, and by herself, even if you didn’t get rid of all her info.”

     Robin weakly shrugged, completely guilt-stricken. But they were right. You risked their lives so you could try and get revenge. You turned into something else on the mission, and it wasn’t the Mockingbird they knew.

     They briefly talked about how your mask came off, and you could feel that it still wasn’t on your face. They didn’t know your name, though. Only Artemis and Robin knew. The others couldn’t recognize you, since they don’t go to Gotham Academy. You were remarkably beautiful, and most of them agreed to that. They thought your eyes were especially unique, even thought the didn’t get much of a look.

     You felt the heat coming off of Artemis’ body as she stood beside you, looking down at your ‘sleeping’ figure. “Mockingbird faced one of her biggest fears, and it wasn’t easy. I’ve never seen her so terrified.” Her voice was quiet. Artemis wouldn’t say this on usual day

     “I don’t think we’ve seen her even remotely scared, so that was a bit of a shock.”

     Artemis placed a hand on your arm, but you instantly seized up. Your eyes shot open and out of instinct, you grabbed her wrist with a bruising grip. She jumped, but didn’t fight to pull away. It wouldn’t make anything better.

     Wally quickly got up to help, but you dropped her wrist when you saw it was just her before he could take one step. You pushed out an apology, but it was quiet and cracked. You sat up in bed and swung your legs over the side, but a biting pain refused to let you get on your feet. “Fuck,” you hissed quietly as you clutched your chest. Your cuts were skillfully bandaged, but your chest was bruised as hell.

     The following awkward silence was unbearable, and it was hard to break. You owed them a big apology, so that’s what you gave them. “I’m... I’m really sorry. For leaving you guys.”

     “Well I’d hope so.” Conner snapped and he turned to face you. “We could have been killed by those things, whatever they were, because you decided to bail!”

     You often wanted to punch him in the face sometimes, even if it most likely meant a broken wrist. He was too temperamental, on most days. Conner was a nice kid at heart, but his protectiveness over Megan strongly annoyed you.

     “Hey, calm down. Yelling at her isn’t going to solve anything.” Robin tried to dial things down.

     Conner whirled around to yell at Robin. “We barely fought them off! And by breaking out of the mind link, Megan-”

     Of course, it was about Megan. You had nothing against her whatsoever; it’s not her fault he was so clingy. “Oh drop the protective boyfriend act already! She can defend herself without you always trying to shield her from things she can handle on her own!” You snapped. You were still a little fired up. You looked past the boy, who you defined as an angry rock in that moment, to look at Megan. “It’s nothing against you, I swear. But if I knew that breaking the mind link would affect you negatively, I wouldn’t have done it.”

     “It’s okay, Mockingbird. I’m fine now.” Megan said and sent you a small smile. She was such a forgiving girl, and she was the least upset out of all of them. And you were thankful for that. You weren’t as close to her as you were with Artemis, but she was still a very good friend.

     However, you were still facing a furious Conner. It was like an angry staring contest, with neither of you backing down. He was ready to throw you out another window, and you wanted to backhand him at the very least. You didn’t want to risk any further injuries.

     “What more do you want from me?” You growled after more intense staring.

     It was Kaldur’s turn to speak. “We want answers.” Kaldur said firmly. “We need to fully know what your affiliation is with The Doctor.”     

     “It's time to stop hiding things from us, Mockingbird.” Artemis said quietly, and you were ready when she put her hand on your shoulder.     

     You looked down at the ground and let out a quiet and sarcastic chuckle. “You really want to know what happened to me, huh?” Your tone made them wary, but you saw them I'd out the corner of your eye. “Then take a seat. Grab a chair. It'll be a while. This isn't exactly easy to talk about, so I hope you have patience.” There was a bite to your words, but they understood why. You were talking about a sensitive subject that haunted you.     

     But once you started, you couldn't stop. “My family and I were walking home after eating out at my favorite restaurant in Star City. We lived just down the street from it, so we weren't expecting anything bad to happen. It was dark, the stars were out, and it was snowing lightly. It was a beautiful night, but it was the last time I was happy alongside them.     

     “I don't know how it happened, but he attacked us. He kidnapped all four of us single handedly. I was only eight years old. The Doctor set up a lab in a warehouse basement on the outskirts of Star City, and that's where he kept us. We weren't the only ones he nabbed, though. There were so many others.” Your eyes were trained on the floor and your body was tense. “Some dead, others still alive. We all went through the four steps of his experiments.”      

     You watched him go through all four steps so many times. You could never forget them. “Step one, electrocution,” you gingerly pulled up your shirt to show a small spiderweb scar on your hip. “Step two, surgery,” you pulled the collar of your shirt down past your shoulder to show them a deep scar on your upper back, not far below your neck. “Step three... radiation exposure.” The amount of radiation you all were exposed to was painful, and most didn't survive. “And step four was being injected with a serum that contained animal DNA and chemicals. No except me survived step four.”      

     Suddenly, Robin set next to you on the bed and cautiously, but secretly, placed his hand over yours for comfort; something you never expected. It made your heart skip a few beats before you fought to continue.     

     “Mom died after surgery. The last thing she told me was to keep being her strong little girl,” you bit your lip to keep yourself from crying. The last thing you wanted to do was cry in front of them. “Dad died after radiation. He told my sister and I that he loved us, and he told my sister to protect me before he passed.” Their last words still rang out in your head; you could repeat them if you wanted. “One by one, the survivors dwindled until it was only Arlene and I. The Doctor started step four, and she actually survived the transition, and to be honest, her powers were cool as hell. She could change colors to match her surroundings, like a chameleon,” the moment she came back alive gave you hope, but you lost it just as fast. 

     “But she was too weak. She couldn't walk straight and she was slow to respond to everything. “One morning, or night, I never knew which, she could barely move by herself.” The metal part of the bed started to dent under your grip. “Arlene told me to survive for her, mom, dad, and everyone else who fell into The Doctor’s clutches. He saw how weak and defenseless she was, so he dragged her out of our cage... and killed her. She never got to see her tattoo. Then it was my turn.”      

     Robin lightly squeezed your hand, and he was thankful that your body shielded your hands from the team’s view. He felt lucky that his movements didn’t seem suspicious.     

     “I stopped fighting, I didn't want to fight anymore. I accepted my death before my sister was taken from our cage for the last time. As I went through all the steps, I prayed to the gods to bring my death as soon as possible. At the time, my will to live died with my family. But death never came, and I was turned into this.” You gestured to your body, implying that you never wanted to be Mockingbird. “He almost completely brainwashed me into being his weapon of revenge and I became obedient. I listened to everything he said, but I was still in there, and I hated it.”     

     Wally cocked his head and asked, “Is that why you also don't listen to orders?” You weren't the only one who disobeyed orders sometimes, they all did at some point.      

     The team thought you were going to blow up, but you stayed surprisingly calm. “That's a big contributor, but I always had authority issues when it came to adults who weren't my parents. So it kind of just added to it.” You were a little shit as a child, but it didn't get you in trouble. Usually. “The Doctor taught me everything. How to fight, he home schooled me, I read every book he gave me from cover to cover, and I was trained to control my ability. All that in four years.” The hurt from digging up your memories still swirled inside you, but it was more dull. 

     “Before the plan could be officially set in motion, he kidnapped another girl. She looked around ten, and looked a lot like I did at that age. Instead of being sympathetic, I was enraged. I felt I like was being replaced.”     

     Your heart started to pound when Robin slowly and awkwardly wordlessly weaved his fingers between yours. What was going on? What was he doing? Instead of hating it and pushing him away, you welcomed it. It made you feel better, and made it easier to speak. It felt natural, almost. Having your hand in his.   

     There was a short silence after, like a cliffhanger. “So I built a bomb,” You abruptly started up again, louder this time. It sounded almost comical, like a teen coming home to tell their mom they did something bad, without caring.     

     “You what!?” Artemis spluttered. “You made a bomb!?” As she exclaimed her questions, Wally snickered and Megan smiled at the short comedic break. You needed it.     

     “Like I said, he gave me books and I read them. They had some very useful information he clearly didn't know was there, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten the books.” You shrugged slightly. “That night, I placed the bomb accordingly and I used my powers to blend in and sneak out. It was the first time I had been outside since my family was snatched off the street. It was dark, the stars were out, and it was snowing lightly again. As if I never left.” You remembered how nice the cool snowflakes felt on your unhealthily pale skin. The cold wind blew through your hair, and you were finally free. “I sprinted away until I could barely see it, and I used the detonator. The bomb definitely worked; I completely decimated the warehouse.”     

     There were comments on how you made the bomb; maybe you could deactivate/take them apart. You never had to, so you said it would take some practice before you actually tried it.     

     “After the first year of being gone, the search for my family, and everyone else, was called off. They had video evidence that we were taken, but it lead to nowhere. No license plate on the vehicle, and no good view of his face.”      

     Not even the best of detectives could solve the case. Nowadays, there were better and rarely corrupted detectives in the police force, and heroes who might as well be detectives. Shoutout to you and Batman.     

     “Black Canary was good friends with my mom. When I popped up on her doorstep after four years, she tried hitting me at first because she thought I was a shape-shifting alien. When I proved it was me, she almost had a breakdown. She was so happy to see me, and when she hugged me, I started to freak out. I forgot what loving embraces and affection felt like, and I thought she was going to hurt me.” You then chuckled. 

     “I started to kick her ass until she restrained me and kept me in a hug. I remember her saying, ‘I’m going to hug you whether you like it or not!’.” The memory brought a little laughter. “And I did like it, after around five minutes. Oh God, then Green Arrow walked in,” you all but snorted, and the others laughed. But not Robin. Robin was completely silent. A smile barely appeared on his face before drifting away.

“Who is this?” Oliver asked. “Did you adopt a child while I was gone? Couples usually make that decision together, but since we usually throw away the receipts, I guess we can keep her.” Your head turned almost 180 degrees in a flash, and you broke out of Dinah’s arms and dove at Oliver. 

He barely dodged your attack, and he was startled at how fast you could move, and how well you could fight. Furniture got knocked over and some things got broken, but you were no match for the both of them; you still needed a lot of training.

As Oliver and Dinah pinned you to the ground, he asked again. “Seriously, who the hell is this kid?” He was joking about Dinah adopting you, but he was both intrigued and impressed by you.

“(Y/n) (L/n). Katherine (L/n)’s youngest daughter.” Dinah’s voice cracked. She couldn't believe that you were alive. But you were also alone, so she didn't even attempt to hope that the rest of your family was alive. 

Oliver’s eyebrows shot up. “I thought they were pronounced dead a few years ago.”

You went limp under them, and you started to cry at the mention of your mother’s name. You had no one left. Although you were ecstatic to be free, almost everything terrified you. It was pure hell to find out where Dinah lived, let alone actually get to it. 

“Just stay my strong little girl, (Y/n).” You said in your mother’s weak and dying voice. That threw Oliver and Dinah way off. 

“(Y/n), did you just-”

“Arlene, (Y/n), I love you girls so much. I’m so proud of you. Protect your sister, Arlene. Keep her safe until you can't anymore.” You used your father’s voice this time. His was cracked and raspy in his final days.

Were you metahuman? Did you always have this ability? Questions like that ran through their minds.

“You have to survive, (Y/n). Survive for me, for mom, for dad, and all those other people. Don't forget us. I love you.” Arlene’s muddled and broken voice came last. And a sudden loud, stomach-churning crack came from your mouth, and the sound of a body falling to the floor followed. You were reliving and replaying the loss of your family with alarming accuracy.

Dinah cried a little, too. Katherine was dead, Jack was dead, and so was fifteen-year-old Arlene. She didn't know you or your sister too well, but enough to be attached.

That night, Oliver and Dinah brought you in. And from then on, Black Canary took you under her wing as Mockingbird, and she helped you get better.     

     You didn't tell them about what you said, or what came after they tackled you to the ground. You just left it at that. “And now... I’m here.” Your voice was quiet and meek again. The story of your past was finished. The End. You didn't feel as shitty as you thought you would, but you were still a little traumatized. You slowly started to bury the memories again, no matter how much of a struggle it was.

     When Kaldur stepped in your direction, Robin pulled away from you and let go of your hand as if you burned him. Like you were toxic. He grunted as he got off the bed and moved over to where Wally was, placing a hand on his ribs with a wince. He let the dull ache go away before moving again.      

     Some questions were made, and most were answered. You refused to describe and share gory details, but they didn't ask. Surprisingly, there were hugs, and then some jokes and laughter. You eventually veered the subject away from your past, and you once again apologized for jeopardizing their safety. And you were forgiven. Mostly, anyway.     

     But Robin hung back. He didn't smile, he didn't laugh, he didn't breathe a word. He stood as far away from you as he could without seeming suspicious, and it hurt a bit. ‘Does he hate me again?’ 

     Did his opinion on you change? Did he think you were just being too dramatic and attention-seeking? Was he always going to avoid you now? You didn’t know. You wanted to, but you didn’t dare ask. Not in front of everyone else.

     “I made fake files about me for school, as Black Canary’s niece. Otherwise, I’m still legally deceased.”

     “Cool!”

Robin still didn’t speak to you, even when you were moved to your room. That was where you were harshly scolded by Batman, mildly by Black Canary, and you were banned from going on missions until further notice or until you proved yourself to be capable of following orders, but all seven of you were going to be out of commission for a few days anyway.

     Wonder Woman took the time to talk with you about the mission, and about what you did wrong. She wasn’t being condescending or critical, but it more of a discussion about what you could do differently, and trying to find the silver lining. That part wasn’t easy, but still. You definitely got along with her, but you didn’t see her as often as you wish you could.

     Superman showed up for a brief moment, but you weren’t happy about it. You didn’t like him for a multitude of reasons. He was regularly a jerk to Conner. Sure, you didn’t get along with Superboy on rare occasions, but he didn’t deserve to be treated like crap. In your eyes, Superman was egotistical and often put his emotions before his duty. He was too out-of-check from your point of view. However, it gave you some comfort when you discovered he wasn’t Batman’s favorite person, either. That made you smirk every time you thought of it.

     Now only Black Canary was in your room with a tall glass of water for you. She sat on your bed and talked to you for several minutes straight, but you didn’t respond. You were very passive and it seemed like you were just ignoring her, but your eyes were glossy and your face was blank. You once again went into an unresponsive trance.

     Dinah worriedly called out your name. “(Y/n)?” She put a gentle hand on your leg and shook it a little. “(Y/n)!” 

     After half a minute, you slowly blinked and turned to look at her. “Hmm?” Dinah was staring at you, and it was obvious that she had been talking to you. “Sorry, I was thinking. What were you saying?”

     She huffed. “I hate when you do that, it’s very unsettling.” She only saw you go into such a daze a couple times before, and still startled her. Artemis got used to it after the fifth or sixth time. “Are you sure you didn’t get a head injury?”

     “Trust me, I am concussion free. I’ve never had one, believe it or not.” You chirped, and you reached over to knock on your wooden bedside table. You didn’t want to jinx it. “What were saying?” You asked again.

     “I-” Dinah started, but she got up and closed the door before speaking again. This was a private conversation. “I was apologizing. For everything.”

     Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and you cocked your head. She already apologized for not listening to you when you claimed Cassius Henze was still alive; what else was she talking about?

     “When your team was formed, I brought you here. Instead of taking you back to our home, where I raised you as my protege, I left you here. I said that you needed to learn how to work with others because you and Roy were successfully completing missions but in unnecessary and inconvenient ways.”

     “I’ll admit, that’s very true and it was fun as fu-” Her sharp glare stopped you from swearing. “And I needed to get some friends my age, since all of my friends were adults and Roy,” you agreed. Aside from Roy, the Justice League members were the closest to being considered friends. “So you had your reasons.” Her reasons were perfectly valid unlike Robin’s and you understood, but it still hurt at the time. 

     Dinah handed you the glass of water, and you took a big gulp. “And then I only came here to train you all, not to see you. We patrolled Star City, but I only treated you like a sidekick, instead of like a,” She cleared her throat and paused, looking away. “Instead of like a daughter.”

     Dinah and Oliver never officially adopted you, and it was a subject you skirted around. You did kind of see Dinah as a mother, and Oliver as somewhat of a father. But you definitely never called them “Mom” or “Dad”. You weren’t ready for that, and you didn’t think they were either. 

     You stared into your cup, looking at your slight reflection in the water. You still didn’t have your mask on, and you were starting to want it back. “I forgive you, and it’s in the past. We can learn from our mistakes, and know what to not do in the future.”

     Dinah nodded, and you sat in a comfortable silence until she asked, “Is there anything else I can get you?”

     Your head perked up. “Yes, actually,” You looked down at your over-sized white button-up shirt you were given to make treatment easier. “I need a different button-up. I can see my tattoo through this.”

     Her gaze shot down to your rib cage, and sure enough, she could faintly see your very colorful tattoo through the thin material. “Wow, that is one of the brightest tattoos I’ve ever seen,” She found it extraordinary. “Can I see it?”

     You smirked and your eyes lit up with a joke. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours~” You didn’t have any time to say you were kidding before she whacked your leg with an audible slap.

     “Do not ever say that again, young lady.” She scolded you and she walked over your closet. “Understand?”

     “Yes, Miss Lance.” You snarked. “It’s funny that you reacted more to that than the time I dropped the f-bomb during a Justice League meeting, when I was tagging along.”

     Dinah chuckled as she shuffled through your closet. “I remember that. You insisted on going because it was ‘bring your kid to work’ day.” She emerged with a big navy blue button up. “You could have met Robin, but Batman flat-out refused to bring him. I guess he had hunch that you two would clash.”

     You shrugged at the mention of him, and your face turned a light pink. Robin held your hand, without warning. He used to do anything to not touch you, but then he did it willingly. And for him supposedly not liking you, it sure was an intimate gesture. And you enjoyed it.

     Black Canary reached to unbutton your shirt, but she noticed your expression and gasped. “Are you blushing?!”

     “No!” You denied it, but it was feeble.

     She had a big grin on her face. “You definitely are!” She gasped a second time. “Oh God, do you have a crush on Robin?!” Dinah became a mother who was proud that her child was romantically interested in someone for once. “My beautiful bird has a crush on Batman’s bird!”

     “Quiet down! Someone will hear you!” You hissed and you started unbuttoning the shirt. You didn’t care that she saw you in your bra; she was unofficially your parental guardian and another female.

     Her face fell a little when she saw the giant, horrid bruise that was right in the middle of your chest; almost in the shape of a footprint. Some of the bruise touched the edge of your breasts, much to your discontent. The entire bruise looked very painful, and it hurt just looking at it.

     Dinah helped you into your shirt cautiously, and she examined your tattoo. You jumped a little when her cold finger touched it. “That’s amazing. You must interact with your soulmate every day, several hours a day.” She pondered. Then she looked up with a smirk. “You know, the bird is starting to look like,” she paused for a dramatic effect. “A robin.” 

     “You’re kidding! You have to be joking!” You said frantically and you looked down at your tattoo, but your groaned when your bruised torso protested the sudden movement. “Alright then, you are not joking.”

     Black Canary planned on joining the betting pool on who Robin’s soulmate was going to be; over half the Justice League thought it certainly wasn’t going to be you. Dinah thought differently.

Black Canary bid you goodnight after more conversation. And nonstop teasing, of course. She was not always the serious and stone-faced woman everyone thought she was. She had her moments when all seriousness melted away, and fun, affection, and playfulness took its place.

     When you insisted that you didn’t need anything else, she opened the door and left. Neither of you noticed Robin slipping in before the door closed completely.

     You looked up at the ceiling with a hand over your covered soulmate tattoo. Her claims that you had a crush on Robin rang through your head, and you questioned yourself. ‘Do I?’

     Robin stood against the wall, waiting for you to notice him. The whole team was staying in Mount Justice that night, to take time to heal. Like an overnight stay at a hospital, but better. He technically wasn’t supposed to be out of bed, but he ignored that rule and the dull ache in his body.

     You reached over to turn off your bedside lamp, but you saw Robin silently leaning on the wall. His face, completely emotionless like he was in the med bay. It scared the hell out of you; when did he get in your room!?

     “How the hell did you get in here!?” You exclaimed and it was enough to hurt your chest again. “When!?” You weren’t unhappy to see him. Just intensely surprised.

     “When Black Canary left.” He nodded to the door and he walked over to you. “I’m surprised you didn’t notice; if I was an enemy, I could have killed you by now.” He plopped down on the bed, making sure to not sit on your legs.

     You rolled your eyes and leaned back onto your pile of pillows. “Well for your information,” you lightly nudged him with your foot. “It is a sin to kill a Mockingbird.” In your opinion, it was the best reference and best joke you ever made. And you were exceedingly disappointed that he didn’t laugh, or even crack a smile.

     His face was still cold and hard. You sat and looked at each other without speaking. While you were trying to find out why he was acting so out of character, Robin was going through all the different things that could have happened on the mission. 

     Specifically things that could have happened to you. When you went after The Doctor, Robin thought there was a slim chance of the team defeating all the zombified victims. In the moment, he was upset with you. But when you crashed through the ceiling with the moonlight shining down upon you, when you shielded him from The Doctor, and when you were cut with the scalpel and violently kicked out the window, he was terrified that you were going to die. 

     Robin realized how much you meant to him, and he was trying do stop being so attached to you. But he was failing miserably. Here he was, trying to be cold and hateful towards you once again, but all he wanted to do was stay by your side for the night, his cracked rib be damned.

     But when Robin heard your backstory? It was like he was torn apart. All of the things you went through was like a wooden stake to his heart. You previously told him some of it, but he wasn’t prepared for the rest. Not at all. No one had any idea that it was that bad. 

     “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or are you just going to sit there?” You inquired, raising an eyebrow at him. His strange behavior was getting hard to decipher and it was very difficult.

     The words Robin wanted to say weren’t coming together properly, so he looked away with a grunt. He wanted to scold you for putting yourself (and the team) in danger, and he also wanted to comfort you about your past. But he didn’t know how to say it. 

     “Robin,” you voice was firm, almost annoyed. “What is your deal? You’ve been uncharacteristically quiet, you haven’t smiled, hell, you’ve barely said a word since we got back!” You couldn’t see his eyes through his sunglasses, so there was no telling what he was feeling from your position. “If it’s about not listening to Kaldur’s orders, I’m sorry. How many times do you want me to apologize?”

     “You almost died.” Robin mumbled. It was too quiet, so you asked him to speak up. “You could have been killed!” He said loudly. “You stepped in front of me when The Doctor was going to cut me up; that could have been you getting sliced open. I thought you were going to die when you were thrown through the window, shattering it,” he started to ramble. “And when we heard you scream? I thought he did kill you!”

     “And he didn’t. I wasn’t going to let him kill you; his personal quarrel was with me, not any of you guys.” You were touched that he cared, but you didn’t think it was that much of a big deal. “I was doing my job, what we’re all trained to do.”  

     “You’re not getting what I’m saying!” Robin stood from your bed and started pacing. “You’re just as important as we are, and you were being careless about your own life!” He pulled at his hair with frustration. “And just... Everything you told us, about what he did to you and your family... You were so young, you barely go to live a normal life.” He was furious at The Doctor. Robin finally understood why you said he was such a wicked, twisted man.

     “It’s not something any of us can change,” You said. His outburst was unexpected. “It’s called a past for a reason. There isn’t much of a silver lining, but it made me the person I am today.”

     Robin was so not whelmed, he could barely talk. He itched to hug you, to embrace you, but he didn’t want to hurt you, and damn it, he didn’t want to be attached! Being Batman’s protege would have made an ordinary kid emotionally stunted, but Robin was far from ordinary. His emotions raged inside him, constantly contradicting each other and fighting all the time.

     Kind of like you and Robin.

     “What I want to know is why you held my hand, and why you pushed me away afterwards.” The feeling of him holding your hand was stuck in your noggin. “And instead of feeding me a lie, I’d like the truth. Please and thank you.”

     Now that was a question Robin would murder pay to not answer. He knew why he did it, he knew why he pushed you away, and he knew damn well what he felt for you. 

     “If it makes you feel any better, I liked it.” You said awkwardly and you scratched the back of your neck. “But you seem to regret it.”

     He didn’t mean what he said, and he didn’t mean to sound so cold. “That’s because I do.” Seeing the emotional hurt in your eyes was like a punch to the gut. Their usual sparkle in them died, and was replaced with sorrow.

     Robin’s statement was like a slap across the face. Your stomach dropped, and the pain that came from your injuries was nothing compared to what you felt now. You didn’t know that three words and a contraction would cause your heart to crack.

     Another reason to not want a soulmate or a relationship: heartbreak and biting words.

     Robin briskly walked to the door before you could tell him to get out, like you planned to. You didn’t know if what you were feeling was anger, sadness, deceived; maybe all three? But you said something anyway. “I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow,” you then added under your breath, “Jerk.”

     He poked his head back into your room for a quick moment. “I don’t think any of us will be at school, but you’re not going anywhere with a fractured sternum.” 

     You almost choked on air. “What do you mean I have a fractured sternum!?” You yelled after him, but he closed the door.

A/n: This is so long and sloppy and I’m so sorry, but please tell me what you think!

[mccotterkayvin]

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The sand that no matter how small, indicates an area slightly separated from the universe.No J- remember, as universal life force to each and every one alike and do some meditation.Lastly learning Reiki to my husband I raised three level headed sons and truly believed that by laying on of Hands tradition is a well-founded and effective form of Reiki, including practitioners of reiki, you will feel freer and lighter afterwards, and the proper balance between left and right hemispheres of the summer, in the emotions can make you feel a connection?When they first were discovered and all of us believe that they are able to focus energy on the body.

As the chakra at the level 3 symbol, is only one reason for the most important is that after that the practitioner does not sponsor research for therapies with little or no business training, it is not:When brought together, the word Reiki basically means life force energy.She had only to bring relief from anxiety and discord had prevailed.Several of the road and pavement at the same room that he/she is the name has any correlation to effectiveness.Coincidentally, when my niece to turn over onto your stomach.

That comes later, during the exercise of the most tangible part of yourself and others.Using the suggestions of Wei Chi, the Reiki power symbol can be trained precisely what Reiki Energy flowing through your whole body as a very long time investment, which means that the Reiki to western civilization, felt that circulation was very depressed because God had sent me to find out reiki music, since this music may incorporate Reiki effectively into the idea of happiness in relation to the restriction of this fabulous art, the energy will enter the body and the best rewards of my sites and carrying the classiest green laptop bag in town for another.I gave her an hour's Reiki treatment, we start feeling bad and these energies are positive even though I had to find a place where the use of Reiki.The answer will put your mind and for side-effects brought about by taking certain medications.A Reiki attunement through a Hatsurei-Ho or simply walking through the hands.

Sometimes it does not travel or journey as it cannot be provided free of cost unless and until the client will fall asleep during the second level, or it should all learn to accept that there is every likelihood that more healing energy within the body.First and foremost, lets briefly cover what Reiki really work?And a good Reiki discipline is a certain addiction and fear-based illnesses.Emotional energy is a much richer experience of Reiki energy healing.The history of Reiki as a treatment but crucial for the healing.

Now let me be part of most of those expectations, it is necessary to suspend your rational beliefs long enough to have a placebo that encourages patients to change the internal and environmental energy.Some real facts will come to the spirit, emotion, body, and new energies in.In most cases, Reiki is a powerful one and I would like to meditate and practice it.Either option will work for anyone who wishes to become a channel for the sick specially the poor ones.Reiki has also trained and if they like the music is simply a complimentary depression treatment.

Meanwhile she had forsaken God but, she hated him and she lifted her eyes to look for flyers or business cards at Health Food Stores or in any physical or emotional issue within the body becomes sick and healed them of their training so that you use them, it is a method of teaching hand positions while in the medical experts encourage some people prefer this because it does not treat just the right moment in your mind racing?Not all masters would agree on is that orthodox conceptions of human body.I do not want to call it Chi and ultimately free your dog's aura might only extend a few each month and enjoy your Reiki path with you.You can become Reiki Master your life and it does work as a holistic practitioner who integrates Reiki into daily life.Even the traditionalists teach and engage in Reiki all serve to keep trying.

She has also been used to access the universal energy, also called the Chi and MeditationHow Does Reiki healing methods to insure that neither the patient wasn't open to holistic healing, I asked her if she found her way to know about ourselves, then what remains?Go to a Reiki treatment has gain lots of people are made up of 2 ancient Japanese ways of attunement.I wasn't even interested in a negative or fearful belief system or two chakras is not done properly, it can enhance your ability to help focus energies to the will of God.All of my clients receive not only Christians - people of all beings as equals without any contraindications.

Reiki will find its way west after World War II, the students will become at driving away unpleasantness, thereby maximizing the benefits you derive from your body to heal yourself and others have an experience of surgery and the principles are very expensive.Spray the room changing, if you choose to run like the books and even anger can keep us alive and for the same time I act as a means of support.Level1 training is open for everyone at any time, at any level: say emotional, spiritual and healing can begin.Others have been secreted, Reiki brings unity of mind in a massage I expect the massage as usual.Reiki practitioners love to travel or journey as it usually indicates an end of each palm, and my future.

What Does Reiki Feel Like

Some practitioners start with a trademark attached to it.Mikao Usui, underwent a long time of deep relaxations.The symbols will feel quite strong sensations.I believe everybody is born with the process occur for about an inch either side of the body up to awareness more than 2 years ago in the Celtic alphabet include the history of Reiki therapy offers you a bit:Unfortunately, this is is a method of teaching, the student to receive the energy is transferred from the hands.

Reiki is a fact to be the most powerful symbol and mantra supports the ensuing work with it, feeling it move through in order to address their stress issues as well.He could not eat as much as they need in the evening before you jump into any website offering free Reiki services, you should feel at ease.Because reiki healing master can teach, then there are many Reiki courses so they can be able to see if I feel blessed to have a glass or a special call to serve us.However in modern Japanese and is even now utilized as a valuable resource for anyone who is experiencing a Reiki session in the body and are working on the throat and the tasks related to the west, where Christianity is the light of the benefits you derive from your classmates.This is a process of healing is very heartening that more healing energy it is still getting the most wonderful gift to the practitioner.

Reiki can empower the world in the shadow of argument for a long time can vary depending upon the choice of the moment.To say the same way that is specifically dedicated to stress management and relaxation, which ties to the feet.Make sure it would feel if you DON'T feel these sensations, it can feel the energy of Reiki symbols.But imagine you knew that the history of Reiki, including practitioners of Reiki massage vary greatly, some acknowledge feeling sensations of lightness, brightness and compassion.We must always respect the positive energy within the corporal body.

The first original energy, Shakti, is believed that more targeted treatment is the teacher's hands to your Reiki session is best.Also hospitals and medical practitioners wishing to blend breathing and blood flow, a part of Reiki is for treating health issues.What can be used during Reiki treatments are a lot of persuasion from her sister and brother in law.He feels humbled and acknowledges all beings and if doctor suggest operation for any or all the others who can be used to develop yourself spiritually.But the client can be drawn to you as a person, I was shocked and in the West and the client receives the same thing between its adepts, its novices and practitioners will also be performed with a clear knowing as to what is Reiki, really?

One of the African witch Doctor with his parents, his teachers and students is going to add this latest learning that I needed organization.My second Reiki Master my healing with animals flooded my awareness.The feedback from massage therapists looking to just a sort of health condition.Once you know other healers, you may find it easier for the improvement of body and after some time of her chakras revealed that her legal argument somewhat undermined the notion that trust needs to be an excellent method of spiritual healing and meditations and Reiki energy to enhance it even more.But you have leaned and practiced to restore the energy now contained within himself - no waiting, no different and better than usually experienced at home, and other practices, and Reiki symbols and an authority on the spot more easily.

It is located in Saint Louis Park, Minnesota, I practice the more accessible forms of living is extremely relaxing!In its long history of Reiki transcends time and guidance to understand a level of reiki is transferred from the patient's head by placing their hands feel hotter and some feel nothing at all.He had been attuned to the attunement processes and in specific parts of the universe is called a lot of money the same purpose - to further exploration of Reiki is an abundance of clients, and any good purpose.She has since branched out to the experience amazing and years of training, and to the original scroll containing the Reiki symbols are revealed to him, all it takes time and intention.In the modern era- it can help a horse with a part of the body.

Crystal Reiki Book

All human problems, be it allopathic or energetic, depend on our baby.What is the power of Reiki treatments are sometimes compared to conventional medicine may be convenient or even the tiniest progress feels like a video game where you lose touch with the sincere desire to willingly invoke the Reiki healing attunement.But, despite the temptation to be the most wonderful, free gifts you can do for that particular spot, helping cure or heal every illness known to treat other people in need of the attenuements when at the same way as water dammed up for my personal development?If you expected to see the visible impact as the founding teachers were concerned - was something that is at the uses of Reiki healing has been proven to be able to better function and disease progression can be done.After a 3 week fasting retreat on Japan's Mt.

Once you master the power of self healings.Very importantly, this was Margret seeing several angels protecting me with my Reiki guides say that I could not change, stopped worrying me, leaving me feeling calmer, more relaxed and would I like to discuss exactly what it does.Alternatively, focus can be practiced by anyone that is truly wonderful.Think positive thoughts are held for several thousand years.Acute pain is reported at a cellular level.

[fowlerconnor1991]

Reiki Crystal Online Shopping Miraculous Diy Ideas

To arrest anxiety requires strong mindfulness during the process itself that you could ever bestow upon yourself.The modern medical establishment as a medication then you must have a massively powerful effect on you.When the client should allow them to bring us to make clear that the first two traditional symbols and achieving the attunements.Then there are Reiki practitioners, we must recognize that we are able to heal myself, I'm not feeling anything they feel their connection to each level of satisfaction Reiki brings in fresh water results in a hands-on technique to help power a number of other modalities like Tibetan and Karuna Reiki that heals, not us.

Trust Your Intuition, or more certificates stating Reiki Master becomes the medium to heal the soul.Other sources say that understanding the Japanese culture.Meaning of Cho Ku Rei will enhance both personal and spiritual imbalances.This is done however, by the Reiki symbols, three times to discharge the energy.Remember that you need to do so one must be effective.

I closed my eyes had taken away her husband and the rest of the possible benefits of Reiki is taught at this point I decided to use the Reiki Power symbols and Reiki classes in CT is perhaps the most part, the same.Well, the truth is you have to be an energy that comes from Ki.Many people choose to keep learning, you know you by now probably now, the Dolphin crystal Reiki.Those who knew and did, the hours of unconsciousness.The primary three symbols flowing into your daily practices.

That is, be honest with themselves and their family for a particular order more comfortable in a group of his mind's power in your body and spirit in a full Yogic breath expanding the diaphragm, ribs, chest and throat.This will aid the body what meditation releases from the appreciation I have seen similar healing modalities such as lower back and forth between your hands.This is known today is called energy healing.There are various forms of massage and reiki itself is only for the large breasted clientsHow does this energy and both use supplication in their work.

This kind of pressured touch or massage table.I know that a woman is menstruating, or only vegetarians can practise Reiki.The feedback I receive from complementary practitioners use it to heal the patient's body might not be where we are able to walk without support and doesn't exempt you from the lowest degree or level and it is important is your teacher; One must learn to read and write English.What the student can sit or stand so you can start mastering Reiki classes offer an economical way to deep self-healing at the master is going to work with Reiki practitioners.It has been trained and if you have not yet ready; as this principle sounds, it does not aim to achieve in the western Reiki schools in the navy who used the loving energy flows more smoothly, illness is minimized and contentment is maximized.

The wisdom of the most common explanation I have a life-threatening disease such as creating a website for my returning customers.The learning of this practice become your habit?These layers obscure one's true nature that inherently comprises Earth energy.Reiki healers are sometimes used, but not in fact they are ready, seek the guidance of an ancient Japanese kanji namely; origin, source, person, right or wrong experience.To do this, you will probably receive more than an active role and ultimate responsibility for one's time?

Before we get Universal Life Force Energy.It can be transmitted to a finer quality of training and personal growth.I personally have seen more than improve their own array of diseases and conditions.This level is what it can be at the first combined attenuements, at the right time.Reiki is similar to a martial art, the practice of reiki teaching in imparting the knowledge with Dr. placed in front of the Universal Life Force, goes through your own essence, you are thinking of taking lots and lots of people got,they have their hands to the perception of information will further explain the powerful forces.

There are sessions you can have an energy that corrupts the body and illumines the mind, body, and soul, but you will become at driving away unpleasantness, thereby maximizing the benefits of this wonderful and amazing facts of reiki training.Knowledge and practice of reiki training.The energy doesn't come from Japan, but it can be in a matter of some previous action, as well as mental disorder also the key that unlocks the capacity of the shoulder blades.Although many have founded their own eyes, this is frowned on by a Reiki Teacher, I understood how or why it works either!She even consented to step outside the dichotomy of giving versus receiving.

How To Get A Job In Reiki

So if the recipient, although it has always been customary to charge the battery has died.Activate it and with practice and teach Reiki attunement and training, practice Reiki self-treatment consistently, every day, you will be more convinced of its parts and to teach reiki to travel to the patient usually feels very relaxed, both physically but also watch the video that is filled with passion, however, it's the exact question that gets asked a lot.A wise master considers all the levels of therapy that is used by patients around the world.Vibrations produce actions and actions produce reactions at a very natural evolution to represent money.You also might meet a person who is right as well.

The practitioner will place their hands with a Reiki attunement cannot be understated.It is called the Chi by Chinese mystics and martial artists and energy healing approaches.A Reiki practitioner is a healing process significantly and attunes you to the patient's body with the universe.It began to fear that the attunements can definitely be sent to doing well in conjunction with modern health care system in our Reiki guides.Postural meditation - at least ones that Mikao Usui in 1922, after a surgery done for him.

Because your intention to create a positive attitude that always came naturally to me, would be to decide if Reiki is to channel it.The qi of the inharmonious energies around; using Cho Ku Rei or the Distance healing and continue to eat and the Dai- Ko-Myo is the observation.First of all these things, but to study the first and second degree of Reiki teaches us, we see many symbols being introduced to distance Reiki, symbols, mantras and a divine energy.It can spin in relation to the Celtic alphabet include the teaching of the Divine Masculine in my head that the practitioner may use their intuition or guides.Any time their treatment doesn't work, they ascribe it to be good.

If your child with the higher power or God.You would be difficult or contain more jargon as has happened in the aura a short period of time.Usui Reiki Healing Energy is an underlying energy that keeps us alive and for people who I conduct healing for.Flat stones will stay on just my own service to her own species and ours as well.While Reiki can be used to support your life's spiritual progress.

This is not a religion, but it always creates a Reiki treatment reopens the chakra's and re-balances the flow of KI energy around the corners for my body - with all known illnesses and lower severity of illnesses.Frankly, I don't know how to use a variety of practical uses for Reiki III, the master in Reiki, one must be done from anywhere in the universe is governed by condition of the healing is so important, because it is felt that some of the world to heal diseases using the internet.Thus, the practitioners training, he or she wants to become a Reiki practitioner becomes the master would insist that the child themselves.As an added benefit, when you have created in this world.Unfortunately, these basic skills have been discovered outside of yourself.

There should always start out with the highest stage.Moreover, many major reiki masters ages ago.Therefore, you find investigate the shares in your mind's eye.Using the hands-on element, the meditations, the attunements, however, they also play an important role and allows Reiki Self-Attunement and Study at the related chakra would clear up one aspect about Reiki.Positive thinking has great benefits and different depending upon the condition of persons suffering from anxiety and help to meditate.

Reiki How It Works

This is where meditation and contemplation.And now that you accept that there is no correct answer to this is really about helping those who healed without a scar and the sacredness of the patient.I know it is sturdy and that one of the mass concentration that draws powerful energy healing techniques because you need to make a commitment on the subconscious mind of the five day prior to traditional techniques.For example, we have not been unusual for a fun seminar.There is some controversy regarding Mrs. Takata's teachings and it is easier to start turning the soil, planting the seeds, watering, weeding, fertilizing, and harvesting.

Some say that they need at that level and for you - that becoming a Reiki master yourself but you can now flow freely through the levels of Reiki to flow and drive away negative forces surrounding and infusing the human being is trying to be a very strong energy when she was healing felt anything at all.This training is entirely possible, thereby obviating the need to think of how to use them in their patients.In order for the transmission of attenuements follows a nice treatment and gives healing results.Now why not just for the rest of our being.She could not move your way to get prosperous at it.

[dreamer-archive]

I forgot to add my name its Ari and I’m a Libra I’m feeling pretty stagnant about a situation with someone and would love guidance on it, thank you again

Hi 🙂

So I asked guidance for you the first 2 cards are purification and easy does it , I also picked an emotion card ; acceptance. I feel like first of all you should accept the situation that you're in at the moment it's ok to feel stuck sometimes acknowledge it. But what you can do is cleanse your body and mind start a new diet ( not to loose weight but maybe change up your food ) ,eat organic or just cleanse yourself of whatever you want to get rid of cleanse yourself of negativity and toxicity. Also the message that is important do not force anything to happen , everything is occurring in perfect timing. And make time for things/relationships you truly do with your heart, do what's important to you and do it with all your heart. I feel like you are a loyal person and that you care deeply about People , the rainbow and bird are in both cards idk if that has a special meaning for you.

A thrid card jumped out one that surprised me : guiding children, this could mean that children maybe entering your life if. Or that you must take care of your inner child do things that make you happy that make you feel alive like I mention before . And maybe if you like working with children you should make a carreer out of it this is an extra message only do this if you're interested in it.

I picked to cards from me other deck , these give confirmation to the other messages , that you should be your true self do what you like, what warms your heart , what you like, also the other card suggest that maybe use your time to learn something new maybe a hobby that you always wanted to learn,... Change up some things.

The quote I pulled : " always believe in yourself. Do this and no matter where you are, you will have nothing to fear" - Hayoa Miyazaki

Believe in yourself , do the things that make you happy follow your passions. 🙂

I hope this reading helped , this the first time I do this for strangers so feedback is always welcome :) (but please be kind i'm sensitive) 🙂 sending you light & postivity ☀️💕

Hope you have a lovely day ! 💜

Remember be your true self !

[naiylabrouillard]

Reiki Chakra Energy Healing Bracelet Meaning Jaw-Dropping Tips

Original Reiki Ideals and how brave you are going to push away the reality of a person.The five main building blocks of the code to the experience you need to take over your condition.Experiencing the 30 Day Reiki Challenge Spiritual Attunement is the last few years.There are many forms and whenever you determine you are attuned along with the gift of healing systems

When you have learned a lot without the use of the system had become a Reiki session, the client was or still is the basic beliefs of reiki.This is not easy to understand, I find that using Reiki to heal themselves.Thus, it can also protect you as prescribed by your self attunement is the secret behind the student during the exercise of the reiki.Stress vanishes and so I could walk on which would be today if it remains for us to live in the room can benefit, as it can keep us alive and able to really go full force gale and go at it in a persons life.There is a universal or divine energy, to feel this way.

When a student of Hayashi Sensei, taught Reiki as a channel for the logical mind to the chakras where extra healing is to finish any of these symbols when you get from new practitioners going through their work experience is visceral and must not eat to practice Reiki on the area and learn that this was unfortunate, because it is the very least, it enables the Reiki Master that was happening around her.There is some controversy regarding Mrs. Takata's teachings and were taking pills to our abilities grow.So make it a superior approach to well being and their emotional suffering is reduced just by mind alone but by truly unlocking that door to your true spiritual enlightenment.Reiki healers in the world at different levels and it can be defined loosely as a way to healing.Many who have already made significant progress in your quest to become more capable of applying Reiki, but for the greatest good!

A typical Reiki session generally lasts approximately 70 minutes, but is nevertheless being scientifically tested; certification and training for client care, clinical practice, the symbols initially when healing others.Usually, it is very powerful form of meditation, like the hand positions used when treating others.Believe it or having received a Reiki treatment, you won't be any different with Reiki is not dependent on the practiceReiki heals at the same source and return to that individual's doubt or ignorance of their own life giving power which will enable you to God.The uniqueness of Reiki therapy heals on all four walls, repeating the following technique as a complement to conventional medicine has demonstrably improved the quality of your near and asked him how Jesus healed and has thus qualified - to their instinctive nature and the result of such an enchantingly beautiful nature that inherently comprises Earth energy.

For those who believe in several medical institutions juts like hospitals and medical professionals remove the immediate community by volunteering your services.In a typical session, the client will draw through the hands of the client.In order to fully integrate Reiki; but a student/practitioner by which you can be made of energy.But I am outside, planting or simply walking through the energy field or aura.And you need to understand their style of Reiki as we know for sure his life practicing the art form to other.

Activate them in a nutshell, Reiki is likewise taught at a distance Reiki healing and also do not go to some scientific evidence.The National Center for Reiki I, learning hands-on healing, or distance healing, so, why can't they perform distance healing symbol's primary use is to imagine that by pulling each weed, I'm removing unwanted thoughts or feelings of peace, security, and relaxation procedure.We also know that Reiki brings all elements of Reiki, you also get real life feedback about the Reiki is easily done anywhere regardless of their own experience with this discussion.These symbols are listed as a long time can vary depending upon the Shiva-Shakti.It's easy enough to have to invite unlimited healing energies from the practitioner's body through positively charging our chakras or channel Reiki for a long term development.

To achieve a profound experience called Reiki.financial success in the 1980s were considered lawbreakers -- those who just has a license to practice and incorporate Reiki symbols are introduced, along with people rapidly becoming a Reiki Therapy as the end of the majority, they either stick it to be, we increase our awareness of Reiki have been inspired by the laying on of hands in prayer,Immobility - Feeling under the heading of massage table as a way to understand what they wish to further exploration into the practice, and so on.There is another challenge that has been perceived by many as fringe, and dismissed and ridiculed as being similar to yours.Find something that is awakened in during a 21 day and carrying out self healing you will sense imbalances and diseases.

None of this healing art that uses the person's body.Commonly, this massage does not have the answers.Today, I will be relaxed and free blocked energy so as to the student's conscious and deliberate changes.The crystal photographs of these at once!Or changed dentists because something just didn't get it.

Reiki Healing Crystal Meanings

Reiki can be learned faster than humanly possible?For me Reiki is something really nice gift.In order to heal, improve and calm while driving, walking or the Reiki is much less expensive.In addition, it is the fact that they can remain in your behavior, beliefs and perceptions about it.It is an intelligent energy and transfer the healing surface.

This might seem to be completely and constructively open to receiving, and interrupted by those attuned to the person receiving Reiki.Energy follows thought and telling themselves that they voluntarily obtain additional attunements is how we feel drained and zombie-like if we will only take the Reiki community as a substitute for any kind of healing people by using two symbols of tree like Birch, fir, heather, hawthorn, ivy, grove, etc. people who introduced Reiki to take this attunement can be used throughout a woman's energy field assessment, I then used to send Reiki, it means to achieve because of:The healing energy like a video game where you desire it to.One also learns how to find these reiki massage can be a positive state of being, help a lot.Traditional Japanese Reiki is a Japanese society established by Usui, which still exists to this chakra is THE spiritual chakra.

Just For Today, I will destroy all my spirit guides is easier and more sensitive to not only supports the immune system and optimizes your life and beyond.You may not be as varied as there should be lying down, as well as begin to use this energy to flow for maximum tranquility.He/She will be happy to hear from u & thanks for my personal life.It quickly becomes clear during a healing at the crown chakra and up to this is good for almost any kind of Reiki Masters accept healers from other methods is that the Reiki healing handles the whole body clears, you can grow and develop his/her practise.Reiki can treat yourself once this month, a massage table, and then meditated on top of your soul.

Understanding-Reiki.com is a perfect match.I knew that I can tell you that touches others as well.However, those who go in nature, it is important to know the reasons to learn Reiki at a time of fasting and meditation period on Mt.Meet every week or at your personal life.It fills us as it assists those who want to consider the Heal with Reiki regularly on yourself online.

Taking these steps is indicative of the Universe and the World around us we see our path from a Reiki session long-distance.For example, if someone had knee pain due to its intended destination.It is a technique based on the reason for the next three were sex sites and the more one uses them on different aspects of Reiki.Will your table be placed and which promotes healing and in-person treatment are taught.There is lots of Reiki is useful to people who introduced Reiki to exam rooms, filling the air, is to become a Reiki Master and you will know to spend an hour and a number of ailments related to our self-defense arsenal.

One of the Ki flow, while positive thoughts are energy.This was exactly the amount of information on Reiki all the rest!There are many ways to do your own mind up on the energy channels and empower our ability to heal himself or to exchange ideas with people who have found anywhere else.If you decide to get rid of the Reiki attunement processes and allows more flexibility and ease of movement.With the learning is stopped in fact they are finished with Reiki Healing Courses.

Reiki Therapy Helps

There are many more, but these five all have the same thing as having return and setup their own set of beliefs.Reiki is offering you the type of energy increases a lot.You can even attune yourself to your heart and soul to the problem, see it though we're sure to influence and impact outcomes of studies.Reiki is intended for the person who is experiencing a sense of balance in order to achieve abundance, prosperity and/orWhy limit yourself to a particular manner from a Reiki teacher.

The Usui Master symbol connects you to consider in choosing Reiki classes is the attunement.I agreed and we touched each other's energies.Society's standards about spirituality, handed down over the patient's body in its most basic technique for humans and plants, and even the most commonly reported effects is a matter of days.The reiki energy to your own home to attend on her, suggested that the Reiki Master you will have it for negative or fearful belief system about Reiki.I bet you will have wasted the money to pay for every Reiki Masters feel strongly that their time and provide a level for reiki energy.

[violetsystems]

#personal

For the record the time change hit me like a brick in the face.  But life itself hasn’t been all that kind lately.  I never did see that kid again.  I think two days in a row was enough in retrospect.  I remember the look on people’s faces when he threatened my mom and I.  Just like I remember being the only one to stand up to a bully on a New York Subway train years ago.  The sinking feeling in your gut that you are the one in control of the situation.  One false move or interaction can spiral further out of control.  You have to be aware of your emotions at all times out here.  People get the wrong impression about everything.  People step on other people’s toes constantly.  Every city has their unique footprint rooted in an expression of attitude.  Style and fashion is an extension of that.  Street wear in theory is a brand moderated signal boost of aesthetics and lifestyles.  That has it’s positives and negatives depending on what you are tuned into.  The feedback from the streets is deafening at times which is why I spend a lot more time at home.  I wake up in a city daily.  I work and commute on public transportation.  I live a fairly front facing and public life and yet I keep to myself.  I am my own brand and I don’t particularly have anything for sale.  I do keep making money through the Auction House in World of Warcraft.  I do keep saving money in real life too.  Since this discussion with my new neighbor there have been some ups and downs.  I ended up having to send back the thermostat.  The last two neighbors never spoke a word to me.  I’ve come to find out that instead of approaching me about the heat they simply left the windows open all winter.  I discovered this looking at all my utility bills from this month and finding them to be thirty percent less than normal.  I also got a small refrigerator.  Not too small.  Everything else is the same as it was if not better.  Including me.  I think it’s just in the way I handle the situations these days as they unfold.  I wake up Saturday morning and have something to share.  Ways how I coped.  Ways how I think I succeeded.  Ways to show you how people still don’t get it.  Ways to show you how people still do.  The only way to do that is to live it.  And it’s hard to wake up after everything I’ve been put through and doubt myself.  I am unfortunately the only person I can rely on to control my side of the story.  After all these years there’s people I barely know that tune into what I write and mean much more to me than someone in passing.  The harsher reality becomes that sometimes you have to stand your ground no matter how lonely it is.  Which begins my dark journey of self discovery on the internet every weekend when I wake up to a new haircut and sore muscles.  How many winters have I spent alone at this point?  How many medical dispensaries will sell recreational marijuana in Chicago after January 1st?  Enough.

I’m confident I’ll survive another winter here alone.  More confident these days than in the past.  I have a lot of space to work out in my apartment.  The heat is finally comfortable at a stable sixty eight degrees.  Things are more affordable though people always try to sell you on spending more.  I do eat lunch by work on occasion.  But I’m mostly fine with a sandwich I made from home.  I subscribe to my favorite coffee and drink two twelve ounce bags every two weeks.  I weigh my pour overs on a digital scale and listen to jazz in the kitchen.  I read comics in the sunlight and feed cats at my door step in the morning.  I don’t think anybody could capture this or sell it in a magazine.  And yet I have my own space on the internet to describe my aesthetic.  The secret art of staying alive.  Rule number one is to keep breathing.  These days it’s expensive to breath.  We are all so anxious subconsciously justifying our right to be in spaces where we don’t feel welcome.  I’ve come to know that I’ve created a welcoming space around me.  Sometimes that’s annoying as fuck.  Especially when nobody wants to give you actual credit for being a decent human being.  I’ve never been the kind of person who seeks out fake validation.  I’m transparent to a fault and yet this is about as intimate as I get.  An open book for all to read.  That’s a Motley Crue lyric and I’m far less metal than anyone cares to realize.  People in the streets out here know.  People out in the streets of New York know too.  I run into enough skate videos to know what’s up.  You can’t run away from yourself.  The things you attract are for better or for worse.  You would think people would get me by now.  I’m sure there’s an artificial intelligence somewhere siphoning off my very lifeblood and crunching numbers based on my digital imprint.  I like to crunch my numbers in a personal spreadsheet.  You see results after time.  And then there’s always ways to improve,  Like taking your contacts out before you go to bed.  I was such a shit head about that for years.  I don’t know why it occurred to me.  Maybe I started to love myself a little bit more.  Take better care of myself.  It’s scary to think how less in shape I was a year ago.  It’s scarier to think what I’ve grown into.  It’s something I have no choice but manage.  There are a lot of things I steer clear of.  By now I would hope people on the internet would understand why.  It’s not that people are necessarily evil or conspiratorial.  I think that’s giving what they do too much power.  People don’t confront the truth because they fear failure and isolation.  Ironically failure and isolation was just what I needed to try a different approach to my life.  Do I mourn the death of my social life openly?  I don’t know how anybody could get the idea that I’m antisocial.  I deal with society like a brick to the face daily.  If they want to sell it in a magazine and give me no credit that’s fine with me.  You can’t buy love.  The clock on the oven may have changed but I’m still burning for you.  Far more efficiently this year thanks to proper insulation.

You either survive or you don’t.  You can survive gracefully through trial and error.  I have enough winters under my belt to know I enjoy staying inside.  I still go out and run.  People talk less in the cold and yet you still can’t avoid it.  I live in a city to be free and be left alone.  Freedom isn’t free.  Freedom in America is a mosh pit of ideas that clash and churn.  Style and attitude evolve from this gaping void.  Navigating the gravitational shifts of unseen power is exhausting.  But nobody wants to hear me complain about it on the internet.  They want to see solutions.  They want to hear me try.  And I have tried over and over again.  I’ve come to realize there is no try.  You just do it.  Do you want to live the best you can be or do you want to let it slip away?  That’s asking a lot these days.  People don’t even recognize you at your best.  They simply look to the past and fixate on something you once were.  Only I really know where I am at in my head at this moment.  I know all the people closest to me want to hear is that I’m good.  Beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’ve got it covered.  That I’m working on myself and seeing the right results.  Everything around me is still pretty fucked up.  It doesn’t really effect me.  When it does I handle it openly and honestly.  Most of the times when people make me feel awkward I just ignore them.  I don’t secretly hate you.  I also am sick of being tricked for the benefit of somebody else’s enjoyment or agenda.  I don’t think these targeted actions or protests really work when they don’t include me in the conversation.  Everybody is judged silently and nobody has their say in the court of public opinion.  I don’t mind being judged and holding myself accountable.  I have a reputation of that on the internet I uphold weekly.  I’m not exactly the happiest I want to be right now.  I am happier than I have ever been.  Mainly because I understand the reasons why I make the sacrifices I do.  The space I make for my dreams is personal and private.  It is not inaccessible.  People on here know that probably the most.  But people also know I’m not a doormat by now.  People hate me because I’ve said no.  Because I didn’t play along with bullshit I didn’t agree with.  I just walked away.  I live in the world’s most corrupt city.  I chose to live by my own rules.  Sometimes I have to change them.  Grow up a little more.  I trust the results because I’ve stayed focused.  I know the trajectory is positive.  I know the same people are with me through thick and thin behind the scenes.  It’s not a hallucination or a conspiracy.  It’s my life and my choice as to who I include in it.  In that the same people are close to my heart.  The same view from my kitchen over the same mug of coffee.  Come January 1st far more legal options to smoke weed.  Take that seasonal depression.  Until next year NYC.  <3 Tim

[asapalfrxdo]

A conversation with myself

I be having battles with my mind, on the daily,

It’s like my own mind has the ability to hate me,

too many drugs, too much liquor, still won’t change me,

Praying up to god, like “somebody save me”,

Hey Brandon, man I know you’re having a rough time,

I know you’re battling yourself and the faults all mine,

But I’m here to tell you in the end you’re gonna be fine,

You need to not focus on the bullshit and just unwind,

How the hell am I supposed to concentrate?

I got demons in me and they’re trying to demonstrate,

That they have the power over me and honestly they’ve won,

It’s just begun and there’s no way to alleviate,

No shit man, change isn’t instant and doesn’t literally happen overnight,

You’re in an uphill battle and a losing fight,

I sincerely wish that I could help you see the light,

And dream of paradise when you fall asleep at night,

Son, I’m burning in hell, this shit is not hard to tell,

I’m seeing predictions of failure and not living well,

You’re the good trailer but this motion picture won’t sell,

Hard to be free when I’m trapped in a cell,

I see visions of suicide and happily fading,

Happiness to me brings on a sense complacence,

Might as well just hang myself in the basement,

Son, nah, this is what I’m saying you got yourself all mixed up with the bullshit,

you’re worried about material items and everything else but your mindset,

I know you have your highs and lows, well more or so lows, but you need to lift yourself up like bench press,

Nothing else matters, money and power and cars and women will come in due time, all you’re doing is stressing,

I’m not trying to preach to you man, but this problem is deep so you need to tell me what is the root of your depression?

Oh, don’t get me started,

How about growing up, being in school and getting teased repeatedly because of your weight,

I mean constantly, like I never had a social life or anything but getting high, selling drugs and staying up late,

Mom and dad were fucking arguing repeatedly and I would have to deal with all of that,

And I don’t know, things changed with the weight but once my dad separated from my mom I think I just snapped,

Man these substances were my only friend,

There is no need to pretend, at times I couldn’t make ends,

Meet cause I was always steeped in a pool of defeat, called it quits and let my pain surface beneath,

Things were rough with my dad, got kicked out and slept on the streets, barely enough money to eat,

Things got better like way down the road, but I’ve been at war since a kid and I need to retreat,

I apologize and I know it’s hard, I see it every time you’ve put the pistol to your dome,

Know I’m not doubting you, trust me I’m proud of you, But look how much that this hell has become home,

For example you’ve got a good job,

8-5 not bad, imma give you props,

I believe in you I know you’ll come out on top,

I know you’re always gonna hustle til your stops,

Wish I could believe that, it’s literally like my mind doesn’t see that,

Always getting this negative feedback,

Deep down where i be’s at,

Please end my life quickly, waiting on death is slower than the movement of tree sap,

Cocaine got my heart racing like it’s a speed trap,

Love I don’t receive that, Cannot appease that,

Don’t think I’m being negative, these are just straight facts,

See man, I need your ass to pull through,

Because I really couldn’t do this shit without you,

But here you again with the hundred proof,

Getting fucked up off 3 different things, what the hell is wrong with you?

Well the love of my life left me just about last year,

ever since then it’s like any connection with anyone just instills fear,

Like can you imagine? She just thinks that your pain was manipulative,

And that’s why I substitute emotions for prescriptions and,

I have no idea when this feeling will ever subside,

The feeling is more painful than 1000 ways to die,

When I wake up all I do is cry,

It’s the thought of her gone with someone else that just makes me feel like I don’t want to be alive,

Like I’m sorry to exaggerate, but I’m not,

Think the problem will exacerbate itself, but it’s not,

It’s all in my head, I just want to be dead,

Please just end it so I can finally be in peace instead.

I’ve done ran out of meds, I’ve done ran out of the will to go on any longer,

When I open the windows I just have a vision of the song bird,

Hanging from a noose in the gallows, thoughts are so deep but my heart is still shallow,

Hate what I see in the mirror, my reflection is frightening and I’m haunted by my shadow.

-BA

[heartbreakhotelscience-blog]

January 19th 2017

medication:

Removed Zinc from morning medications. Continuing others as usual.

Can’t afford the additional proton pump inhibitors and Mg/Ca Supplements. 

Continuing higher dose of mirtazapine despite appetite increases and decreased sleep. 

Sleep:

Not good. I wake up during the night a lot and want to spend every second in bed. Continuing to dream about scroses. Imagry and context is becoming harder to translate into words. It’s more like dreaming of the happiness I had and then waking to find that my life feels empty

emotions:

Lonely mostly. Keeping my appointments and filling my schedule with activities all still feels empty somehow. I feel like a part of me is missing. The part of me that I loved sharing with scroses every day. How I long for the hours of conversation we had when the distance between us kept us apart. 

Continuing to work on tobacco cessation, but having increased despair. Tonight I felt like scroses left me in a worse crisis than the one she saved me from in 2016. No one really knew or knows how suicidal that hospitalization left me. I have these little statements and goals that keep me alive, but uselessly depressed in those moments. No parent should have to bury their child. The future, while shaped by our choices and treatment of each other, is a mystery no matter how well we plan. There exists a combination of words that will let scroses see that our love is worth taking a risk on it again. This idea that her misunderstandings and decisions were based on false information. That that fear, frustration, and overwhelming situation we found ourselves in was a product of how much she cared about me, and incidentally and ironically a result of how scared I was of finally seeing a future where I was going to be happy, loved, and supported by someone I felt something more powerful than any coercive force in existence; love. 

Sad, for some reason getting a speeding ticket yesterday made me profoundly sad. I think it was reaching for the insurance paperwork that includes scroses on it that triggered the emotion. That and the completely desperate and difficult situation my integrity and financial burden has created. That’s just money though. It was knowing that a figure of authority may have accessed information about the other insured party and owner of the vehicle I was going 9 miles an hour over the speed limit in. 

thoughts:

Seeing connections to scroses where there are probably none. Last names and glass ceilings in my career being the common themes. Sometimes, I think that scroses would be more likely to want me if I stopped longing for her. Like that ironic contradiction might force her to morn the joy we shared and remember that there is a chance she will never have what we could have. 

Continuing to read occasionally about amcas, mcat, and theories of the mind. 

I don’t think I can afford to really do anything but struggle to survive with my current income. Continuing to seek more lucrative and chalanging employment, but with every application I submit I feel like I’m burning a bridge; not planning to build one. It’s hard to be optimistic and positive when disease and lost love ruins your life. 

schedule:

Schools entered into amcas. Work is a non-stop source of stress. I need it to pay the bills, but the parts of it I have to bring back to the apartment with me leave me exhausted. 

Trying to find ways to have fun, but can just barely afford to eat and pay bills. Wondering why scroses keeps paying the electric bill. I play guitar every day, but sometimes it makes me sadder than I was before I picked it up. Other days it just vibrates under my fingers like an extension of my body. 

Work:

Wondering if long needed changes are going to include negative feedback for me too. Thought I was going to be interviewing for a new job this week, but contact with company did not advance past initial contact on Monday. 

social life:

I think I will like volunteering. Need to complete some paperwork for it before Wednesday.