#the fandom will come to you and support you through that special bonding experience | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

elysiangroundsforall · 18 days ago

Text

In the Course of It ...

"You're my only Bambi, Bambi"

Ch-9

The night before Regal’s debut arrived faster than any of us had anticipated. The entire team was buzzing with anticipation, energy, and a healthy dose of nerves. I could see it in each girl’s eyes—they were ready, but the reality of stepping onto the stage for the first time, of bearing the responsibility of their dreams and hard work, was setting in.

The final rehearsal ended late that evening. The girls ran through "Royal" one last time, every beat, step, and note crisp and powerful. Watching them, I felt that familiar swell of pride again. Regal was something special, and seeing them come together as a unit, thriving under the pressure, reminded me of EXO’s early days.

After they finished, Suho gathered everyone around in a circle, offering words of encouragement. "Tomorrow is a big day. But remember, you’ve already proven yourselves time and again. Now it’s time to go out there and show everyone what you’re made of."

Each of the EXO members added their own words of support, each of us speaking from experience and a shared understanding of what it took to stand under those blinding lights, to feel the weight of a fandom’s expectations and hopes. It was a unique bond, and I could tell the girls felt encouraged by the words.

Once everyone started to drift off, Y/N lingered behind in the practice room, quietly going over her part one more time. I walked up beside her, and she looked up, meeting my eyes with a soft smile.

“Nervous?” I asked gently.

“Very,” she admitted, laughing softly, though I could see the determination in her eyes. “But also… really excited. It’s everything I dreamed of, and more.”

I couldn’t help smiling. "You’re going to be incredible, Y/N. The world’s not ready for what you’re about to show them."

She blushed slightly, but her confidence shone through. “Thank you, Baekhyun. That means everything.”

Tomorrow came, and it was electric. The concert hall buzzed with excitement as fans filed in, filling every seat, holding banners and signs for Regal. This was their first performance, but the support was already overwhelming.

Backstage, the girls were dressed in their stage outfits, looking every bit the stars they’d worked so hard to become. As I stood there, watching them mentally prepare, I felt a rush of pride and anticipation. This was their moment, and I couldn’t wait for the world to see it.

Finally, the lights dimmed, and the introductory music for "Royal" began. As the girls took their positions on stage, the crowd erupted. They stood strong and confident, embodying everything they’d worked for, everything they represented.

From the very first beat, they commanded the stage. Every note, every move was powerful, every line hit with precision and strength. The crowd went wild as they transitioned into the rap section, with Hana and Nari delivering their lines with the confidence Chanyeol had instilled in them. The vocals were flawless, the harmonies resonating through the hall, and when Y/N hit her high note, the audience gasped.

It was everything we’d worked for, everything they’d dreamed of, unfolding right before us.

As the song ended, the applause was deafening. Regal stood on stage, catching their breath, but their eyes shone with exhilaration. They’d done it. They’d conquered their first stage, and it was clear to everyone watching that Regal was here to stay.

When they returned backstage, I was there, along with the other EXO members, waiting to congratulate them. As they came off stage, each one of us hugged them, offering words of praise.

“You killed it out there,” Sehun said, grinning as he high-fived each of them.

“Perfect stage presence,” Kai added, a look of pride on his face.

The night went on in a blur of celebration and hugs, with every member of the team coming together to celebrate Regal’s debut. It was a moment I knew they would remember forever, and seeing the happiness on Y/N’s face was enough to make it all worthwhile.

In the days that followed, Regal’s debut was all anyone could talk about. "Royal" soared to the top of the charts, and fans worldwide fell in love with the group. Their hard work had paid off, and it was only the beginning.

Through it all, I kept my promise to myself, keeping things between Y/N and me quiet and professional. But as I watched her smile under the stage lights, the reality was undeniable. There would be a time for us, someday. For now, I was content just being there, by her side, watching her shine.

As the weeks rolled by, Regal’s momentum only grew. The debut stage had set off a wildfire of interest, and the girls were booked for music shows, interviews, and fan events non-stop. They handled the intensity with an energy that was infectious, pushing through their grueling schedules with determination and grace.

Y/N, in particular, seemed to flourish under the spotlight. She was growing more comfortable on stage, her confidence radiating with each performance. Watching her evolve was captivating, and I found myself cheering them on in every way I could—both as a mentor and as…well, maybe something more.

After one of their performances, we gathered in the practice room for feedback. The EXO members had been making appearances whenever they could, showing the girls that they had our full support. This time, Chen, D.O., and Chanyeol joined me, each with notes ready to help the girls perfect their craft even more.

D.O. started with the vocals, giving each member of Regal personalized feedback. He was clear and concise, and the girls listened intently, absorbing his every word. With each session, they grew more confident in their vocal strengths, finding ways to make each song uniquely theirs.

Chanyeol turned to Hana and Nari with tips on their rap sections. He showed them how to add subtle changes to their delivery, making the lines feel fresh each time they performed them. It was like watching a master at work, and by the end, Hana and Nari were brimming with excitement, eager to incorporate his ideas.

After the feedback, we all gathered for a final pep talk before the next event. The girls were headed to their first fan meet in just a few days, and I could tell they were both nervous and excited. As they packed up, Y/N stayed back, her gaze catching mine as the others left the room. I felt a familiar warmth at the way her eyes sparkled.

“So…how are you holding up with everything?” I asked, leaning against the wall, trying to keep things casual.

She smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Honestly? It’s exhausting. But I love it. I mean, this is what we all dreamed of, you know?”

“I know exactly what you mean,” I replied, feeling a wave of nostalgia for EXO’s early days. “You’re handling it well, though. You all are. I’m proud of you, Y/N.”

She glanced down, her cheeks turning slightly pink, and I couldn’t help but smile at how endearing she looked. We stood there in a comfortable silence for a moment, just the two of us, sharing in the quiet victory of how far she’d come. It was in these moments that I felt the full weight of what she meant to me—a feeling that had been growing since day one but was now undeniable.

Our quiet moment was interrupted by the sound of Kai’s voice from the hall. “Baekhyun, are you ready to head out?”

I cleared my throat, quickly collecting myself. “Yeah, just wrapping up here.”

As I watched Y/N leave the room, a wave of anticipation washed over me. There would be other moments like this—moments where we could just be ourselves, without the pressures of the industry or the fear of what anyone else might think. For now, though, our focus was on making sure Regal’s journey continued to rise.

The fan meet was a massive success, with fans flocking to see the girls in person. Their warmth and genuine gratitude shone as they connected with the fans who had supported them from the start. Y/N seemed completely in her element, her smile lighting up the room as she interacted with everyone, effortlessly charming everyone she met. It was hard not to feel captivated just watching her, knowing the effort and heart she poured into every moment.

As Regal’s popularity continued to grow, I felt a surge of excitement for what was yet to come. The group had endless potential, and I knew that with each stage, each performance, they’d only get stronger. For now, my place was right here, guiding them, cheering them on, and—maybe someday—standing beside Y/N as something more.

But for now, that could wait.

Ch 10>>>

#In the Course of It ...#exo #xiumin #suho #lay #baekhyun #chanyeol #chen #d.o #kai #sehun #minseok #junmyeon #yixing #jongdae #jongin #kyungsoo #ceo au #trainee #idol au #love

0 notes

demirose-colored-glasses · 1 year ago

Text

My page looks better on desktop

➳ I'm Ro. I'm in my late 20s. Please don't gender me. I'm a queer enigma. They/Them works just fine.

➳ My page looks better on desktop and I can't follow back, this is a side blog. I will interact though.

➳ I'm Demiromantic, for me this means that I can't feel romantic attraction towards people unless I have a close emotional bond with them, for me that's friendship/a platonic bond. Hence the joke in my title. (This doesn't mean I am attracted to all my friends, just that I can't feel romantic attraction to people I'm not close with.)

➳ Current hyperfixations/special interests: (most active in bold) Psych (coming back from childhoood), Glee, Stardew Valley, The Summer I Turned Pretty (I love all these characters and they can be as petty and messy as they'd like.), Arrowverse, Harry Potter (I do not support JKR and I fully acknowledge that the goblins are antisemitic, nagini and cho chang are offensive, and that her treatment of indigenous cultures is unacceptable)

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (I'm late I'm sorry)

➳ Flag in banner/background is the demiromantic flag color picked from The Summer I Turned Pretty cover.

➶ I post Demiromantic and other aspec headcanons. Mostly focus on demiromantic/demisexual though. These may be hot takes, and are strictly through the lens of my own experience and you don't have to agree, in fact I vibe with canon or whatever headcanons you may have.

➶ Feel free to send asks and interact in any way possible.

➶ I'll also make icons or color picked flags at some point if people want them. There aren't very many demiromantic headcanons.

➶ reblogging an edit or a fic doesn't mean I ship the ship, I just support Fandom creators. So if you see me saying I don't ship something, then you see it in my reblogs, I'm just supporting Fandom creators.

➵ Allies, non-queer, and people uneducated on queerness are obviously welcome, this is not, nor will it ever be a queer-only space. Despite this you MUST be able to understand that is a queer amatopunk space. It rejects amatonormativity. This means that despite loving the romance genre and experiencing some romantic attraction I will be critical of amatonormativity and allonormativity.

➵I am neutral on RPF most of the time but have zero interest and will not reblog it.

➵ I am neutral on "bad" fandom content existing. As long as they're not harassing real people I'm not even looking in their direction, they tend to trigger me so I don't engage.

➴ Despite being neutral on rpf existing, "Tinhats" can fuck right off. Especially if you talk to the people involved about it or in any way harass them. I hope you have a bad day every day forever.

➴ I'm typically not interested in large age gaps ships where one person is a teenager but I don't think they're evil or whatever fanpolice are on about. Also proshippers are racist trash 99% of the time so don't lump me in with those assholes either please.

🏹 My writing (Dead link for now)

🏹 My Media Takes/Overviews

Tags:

#demirose glasses on - headcanoning characters to be on the aspec in any way shape or form, sometimes used for general queer headcanons as well.

#demirose glasses off - just a general speculation post about a piece of media.

#my stuff - edits I made

0 notes

supersanderman · 2 years ago

Text

The Power Of Friendship (and D&D)

Well, you made it to act 3, and this is usually the part of the Shakespeare play where things start to get juicy. But here, I wanted to focus a little less on juicy things because in my story, I didn’t really change identities further, I just solidified my own. I always kept questioning sure, which is eventually how I became a demi-boy, but in this part of my tale I just found people I care about, and who care about me. It’s…THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!

But seriously, having a circle of people I could trust was probably the most important thing in my journey. It’s no wonder that I don’t really talk to my first college friend circle, I could only really trust two of them. Living with them was an experience for sure. Lots of fighting, and lots of blame games over dishes and cleanliness. I guess we were all getting back into society after being locked in a metaphoric dungeon for a year and a half, but it was bad. Speaking of dungeons, part of what made me really bond with my current friend group was Dungeons…and Dragons. The tabletop roleplaying game was part of the reason I could somewhat survive the pandemic and is responsible for bringing me even closer to my current friend group. It’s the same group from my professional fraternity. It started with my big Mox and then as more people joined our family grew. Friends became my safety net and my support circle, the people I could count on. When I went through rough patches they helped me survive. When I hurt my back and needed to go to urgent care, I asked Mox to drive because I didn’t have anyone else I could trust. It’s cliche but the power of friendship is real. Now more than ever with the idea of found families, friends can sometimes be more like family than an actual family. I am lucky that I love my immediate family but one of my close friends has all but abandoned their family, and they rely on their friends. Especially in friend groups that are not all cis-het like mine, we bond over our shared experiences and are able to bounce off each other’s chaos. It is how my high school friend group stayed together. We can share things with each other that we wouldn’t to other groups, not even people we’ve known our whole lives. Trust is so special because it’s hard to gain and so easily broken, and the best, closest friendships are built on trust. My friend for a documentary I made put it plainly, you aren’t going to please everyone, so it’s better to have one or two close friends you can share the dirtiest crap with who will listen and support you rather than a large group that will turn away when you need them most. I almost needed the pandemic to determine who my real friends are, and I am so glad I know who I care about and who cares about me.

Throughout my junior year, I slowly was able to come out of my shell and while I played a character in a tabletop, I bonded with them every meeting. We discussed fandoms and musicals. Existentialism and the joys of Rutgers. Every moment I spent with them made me feel like I was able to really be myself. And D&D provided joy and lasting memories for months to come. But like many things, D&D needs to be unpacked. Character creation is one of the key parts of D&D but one of the many issues is something known as fantasy racism. Certain races are seen as monstrous such as orcs and goblins and these fantasy creatures create a sort of fantasy racism. One bit of lore from the D&D rule book discusses how half-orcs try and prove their worth among more “civilized races.” Similarly to that is the idea of elves, who are rich and light-skinned being superior to other races. Other tabletop games have been criticized for different issues. The Cyberpunk 2077 video game, based on the tabletop of the same name was criticized for fetishizing trans women by having them be on in-game posters with grossly enlarged penises. While the game is only based on the tabletop, the issue still persists.

However, role-playing games have always been praised for their ability for players to make a character and be anyone. Now characters can be any race and any gender, and many traditional fantasy tropes about race and gender can be eliminated. In terms of any role-playing game, it is important to understand how real-world issues bleed into the game and how sometimes it is important to draw boundaries of what should be included in fictional games. Now thanks to games set in the real world like Vampire: The Masquerade, there are sheets for lines and veils, things players want to only reference and not include. This allows a way to avoid games that feature issues such as racism, sexism, and religion. Overall, these games can be loved and appreciated, but also challenged to avoid negative stereotypes, and real world injustices bleeding into the game.

0 notes

thisbluespirit · 3 years ago

Link

It’s the 40th anniversary of Gauda Prime, so I thought I should offer more than a reblog, so have this!

When I first got on tumblr I did a series of posts tagged Why Classic Who Fans Should Watch Blake’s 7 (It’s great, and unlike most 21st C souls classic dw fans are prepared re. terrible SFX and beige telly faults - and if you like it, it’s one of the best rides you’ll ever have with a TV series.) Also, it was created by Terry Nation and made by a whole bunch of other Classic Who people. You will fall over at least ten of them every episode. They also nicked each other’s props as a bonus. It is literally part of the DW EU.

(I cannot reblog those posts because I accidentally deleted my first tumblr while trying to change my url and delete a sideblog. It was very B7, really, because tumblr offer you no take-backs if you do that. It’s just all over & you have no one to blame but yourself and the system.)

BUT I also combined it into a Dreamwidth post! So please follow the link above for a Non-Spoilery intro to a show that is awesome but which you will 100% spoiler yourself for if you ever try to search for anything on it online whatsoever. (I mean, if you like spoilers, do that. If you prefer not to be, DON’T DO IT.)

@captain-aralias also did an intro one time, which was very different but also entirely intended to oppress people into the fandom by talking about its excellence, so you could also check that out!

(may be spoilers in comments of both posts, so do watch out for that.)

In short, we are all mourning today in B7 fandom. If you want to have the genuinely fun time that will enable you to join us in our broken hearted remembrance, now is a great time for it - it’s even legitimately available via BritBox! (Piratical approaches are fairly traditional and fandom-appropriate, though.)

#doctor who #gauda prime day #i'm not tagging it with the fandom #because they'll find it anyway #and i don't want dw people to block it #this one day consider it for a mo #and if not #this is a short text post #no worries in scrolling by #gif #also btw i forgot to mention colin baker #like you will get some bonus colin too #but b7 is so awesome it slipped my mind #there is also ben steed but do not worry #the fandom will come to you and support you through that special bonding experience #also i wrote this post nearly 10 years ago and i haven't checked it lately so apologies should there be anything off in it at all. i can #alter it!

62 notes · View notes

penname-artist · 2 years ago

Text

A belated but loving happy 1 year anniversary to Volo Pro Veritas:

We are still around and still vibrant as ever, despite the challenges and the hurdles and the deep-seated scares we have all had in this single year. We have laughed, loved, cried, screamed, sneezed, coughed, rated burps, and made every moment in this place worth while. In this year alone:

Gained around 30 members, close to 40 in grand total

Many people made their own emoticons for the server, and I think we have 30 some-odd custom WoC emoticons now

We had several exceptionally memorable online game experiences, in places such as Jackbox, Cards Against Humanity, Uno, Roblox, Minecraft, Skribbl.io, Gartic Phone, Mad Libs, and more

Had lots of great get-togethers for monthly movie nights and show binges

We cried. A lot. And that's okay because we all supported each other too.

Shared works in progress, gave constructive critiques and great feedback, and helped support each other's interests (inside and outside of Planes)

Read some really cursed fics

Made gift arts and writings

Designated special (useless but fun) titles to various members of the server

Listed the insane amount of similarities between our two (as far as we know entirely unrelated) server dads

Cursed like sailors

Screamed into the void

Made handfuls of dumb and weird server quotes for the Book of Quotes that actually exists

Air-dropped our dinners to people in other states and countries

Volunteered to beat up people's horrible parents

Compared temperatures in Celsius and Fahrenheit

Had wars over gif vs jif and whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza

Made an insane amount of dick jokes

Got raided by random strangers I was not in any way related to and turned them to the dark side

Insulted each other (affectionately)

Had relationships inside of and around the server

Committed very gay crimes

Created the Mod-fia

Ran a bunch of polls to vote on things

Banned dolphin porn

Watched members survive through multiple injuries, illnesses, and scary situations

Shared pet pictures

Wrote porn

Drew porn

Wrote and drew things that were not actually exclusively porn

Told a bot to fuck off

Never let people live down their best moments (*ahem* ...ferret-)

Wished many happy birthdays

Said "oof" a lot

Fucked up a few British people's sleep schedules but it's okay because they don't need sleep ANYWAYS

Laughed

Cried

Bonded

Had a great time with these crazy wonderful people

If you are a member feel free to add any additional cool things that went on from VPV (I feel fully confident in you guys that they will be family-friendly and positive lol) and any thoughts you want to share on the place. (And if you're not a member and want to be, what are you waiting for?? Shoot me a DM or anybody who is in the server and we'd be glad to have you! (We recommend you be 18+ but this is not required))

It's incredible to me that we have made it so far already, and done so much, and we are still standing strong. Many of us have come from places of grief and pain, and I hurt with those people for the events we've suffered through, both together and alone.

This is the thing that makes us different, and this is the thing that makes us strong. When we succeed we celebrate together, and when we hurt we grieve together too. And that's always going to be the thing that makes this place so special to me. We are a bunch of weirdos in every corner of the earth, and we come together for a little speck of a fandom and stay for the bonds we've built between us all.

I know today was not the happiest day for a lot of us, myself included. There was a happiness in the anniversary of VPV, but there was also a grief in the memory of times before, where a lot of us were in dark places and battling fresh wounds. Though it hurts to grieve for loss, it's comforting to know that we are still in this together, building a bigger, better, safer place for this community, this family. I well and truly could not have done this without the love and support of this group. So thank you guys. This isn't my victory. It belongs to every one of us.

Until the morrow, and happy anniversary, Volo Pro Veritas.

-Pen

#volo pro veritas #disney planes #disneyplanes

13 notes · View notes

notsogoodangel · 3 years ago

Photo

“Dream SMP is the new Homestuck”- literally everyone old enough to remember Homestuck and is still in fandom communities.

Anyway, some explanations as to I chose the class I did under the cut

Purpled: Knight of Heart

“Those bound to the aspect of Heart are very concerned with their favorite subject: themselves. It wouldn't be a stretch to call them 'self-obsessed', but not necessarily in a negative way. They simply want to understand the one thing we all are stuck with for our entire lives, i.e. our own minds. Forging an identity is extremely important to the Heart-bound, and every decision and action goes toward building a coherent narrative of their own story.” (The Extended Zodiac) This sounds very Purpled when you consider he has always being alone, even when he wanted to make friends. He DEEPLY understands what he is good at and that has shaped and created his own narrative: he is an excellent PVP fighter, and nothing else. He is proud of that fact and doesn't hide it at all. Heart is essentially "soul"/what is inside of you, and he has found what is inside him and what makes him him.

As for the knight part “The Knight could be defined as one who serves [aspect] or one who serves through [aspect] for the betterment of others”. This combination of elements essentially creates a true knight "I offer myself for my own betterment and the betterment of others" with the "myself" part would be "fighter" because that how Purpled sees himself as.

Tommy: Page of Blood

I originally wanted to make him a Bard of Blood because “ Bards "allow destruction of [aspect]" or "invite destruction through [aspect]", and Blood is essentially connections and bonds, like family and friends, and we all know that Tommy always bring destruction of bonds by accident.

But in the end I chose Page of Blood because pages “provides others with [aspect]" or "creates [aspect]” because that is what Tommy does the best in the DSMP story: create connections and provide others with connections, whether is because people want to help him or because they hate him and those people are willing to help each other to stop Tommy. Tommy has always being able to create connections easily and the worst anyone could do was to isolate him, just look at the Exile Arc, he was nearly brought to suicide because he was all alone with the only people to connect with is the one person who hates connections, and Ghostbur (and Ranboo from time to time, specially after Tommy found Techno).

Also yes, I am dead set on giving Tommy the blood aspect because it’s a perfect title of him, all he has ever done was because of his connections and bonds with other, and all he has ever accomplish was thanks to his friends.

Tubbo: Mage of Time

Okay this one is a little weird, but hear me out. Time could be translated to experiences, but more than anything, Time players are goal-focus, which is what Tubbo is really good at. Most people think he is positive, always looking for the best outcome, but that is not true. Yes he does this things, but not because as a person he wants to help people, it’s because he is given a task and he is going to full-fill it. He is goal oriented and his goals always tend to be something along the lines of “keep X thing safe” or “help X do X”. If you need something to get done, you call Tubbo, and that's what Tommy has always done, that's what a lot of L'Manberg people did, they rely on Tubbo because they believed in him to get shit done. Tubbo has always being a support player, in video game terms, but he has never being passive. He is always doing something, whether is for him, although most of the time for someone else.

Mage is because "Mage benefits themselves with knowledge pertaining to [aspect]" and "guides by setting an example using knowledge pertaining to [aspect]" AKA Tubbo is always learning from experience, something that doesn't seem to be common in fucking DSMP. Tubbo rarely commits the same mistake twice. He is always making decisions that will either keep the most people safe or avoid doing a past mistake, even if they are usually not the wisest decisions.

Ranboo: Sylph of Space

Honestly, Ranboo was very hard, I wanted to make him a rogue/sylph, or a space/hope player.

First of all, Sylph is defined as "Sylph is thought to be one who heals [aspect] or one who heals through [aspect] for others" and Space implies life and creation. So you will think “why give Ranboo the “heals life and creation”, but that’s not it, it’s more of “Ranboo heals through creation”. The most notorious thing about Ranboo is his willingness to help pretty much everyone, but specially Tommy and Tubbo through resources. Which is in part why I wanted to make him a rogue, he distributes stuff to other players, but he doesn’t steal from others, he will rather die than to steal from others, specially those close to him.

Aside from that he fits Space player’s personalities remarkably well “They are patient, masters of the art of 'wait-and-see', and are inclined to take things as they come. That isn't to say that they're pushovers or willing to let injustice lie-they just choose their battles wisely.” (The Extended Zodiac) Which we all know that Ranboo is extremely passive and doesn’t do much of anything and while he doesn’t really say no, he still is careful about going with this, such as The Butcher Army, he was part of it, but he never actively participated. While hope is way more active, it may stand for a lot of what Ranboo does, but a key factor of Hope players is that they are willing to destroy if it meant that THEIR vision of a better future flourish, which is nothing all like him. He hopes to see betterment, but he hates the idea of other people being forced into anything. If destruction happens he will just watch most of the time, which is more of a Space player thing to do.

#homestuck #dream smp #dsmpstuck #tubbo dream smp #tommy dream smp #purpled dream smp #ranboo dream smp #tubbo #tommyinnit #purpled #ranboo #mcyt #angel's art #I have more ideas for this but I haven't flesh them out yet #also give me your own hot takes #love to see those #the minors

218 notes · View notes

twst-campos13 · 4 years ago

Note

UwU welcome to the twst writing fandom~ Aha finally a blog that can write for male! mc,I haven't seen them for a while nor there are a lot of~ Can i request hc with the first years with a male crush reader~? Hope that you'll get many followers! ahehe~I dunno what to say. Hope that you have a great day, UwU -🍵🌱✨

Hello there Tea Non! (can I call you that qq?) Sorry for the wait!! Jack’s part feels a bit too short and Sebek’s quite long,, ^^’’

Warnings: mild language! internalized homophobia (Epel’s part!) Tags: fluff, male!reader

➸ Ace is a little shit bastard, but he (along with Deuce) practically became best friends. You're one of the people he would tease to death and annoy with but also he would stand by your side no matter what.

➸ You banter a lot together. You'd fight, argue, and even tease each other which is considered "too mean" to other people.

➸ Though your arguing turns to flirting sometimes. You didn't even realize it, Ace didn't even realize it, but your friends did and they're placing bets if you two are actually into each other or not.

➸ How long did Ace figure out that this isn't just a normal bro-thing? Well, suddenly, seeing you scowl at him and swear at him is becoming more than amusing—it's becoming endearing. He likes the way you look at him or even gets hyped up in annoying you when you fire back with remarks.

➸ The fluttering feeling in his chest only grew when you two were play flirting. He grinned cheekily at you about maybe needing some company while doing library duty. You know what you said to him back?

➸ "Awe, Ace. Do you want to be alone with me that much?"

➸ His brain tried what just happened and why that he was so red right after that whole exchange. You two always flirted and bickered, right? Why does it feel kinda different now?? What??? Hnajgejegegaeg????

➸ Then you started to do intimately nice things to him—like that one time you had to tend to his hand after burning himself during potions class—then oh, oh. Fuck. Oh fuck. He has a crush on you. Does that surprise him? To have a crush on a guy? Not particularly, because this isn't the first time it happened.

➸ Before Ace met his ex-girlfriend, he already experienced what it's like to have a crush on a guy. He didn't understand why or why that feeling is the same feeling he has for a girl.

➸ His brother found out first then he came out to his mom. She did call it a phase but in a way that she was supportive of him questioning his sexuality. His mom assured him that she wouldn't love him less if he's bisexual.

➸ Ace just hopes this little crush of his doesn't develop. He doesn't want things to get awkward between the two of you! Just because he likes the way your cheeks reddens when he slings an arm around you and pinches your cheek, doesn't mean you can do the same to him...okay, maybe he'd like that a little bit

➸ Deuce is a smart student. He's loyal, reliable, and diligent. However, sometimes he just comes off as dense.

➸ He's comfortable with his sexuality. Whatever it is that is seen as too intimate for two bros to share is normal for him. After all, you're his best friend! Along with Ace and Grim. There's nothing weird about how he's treating you because he treats his friends the same way.

➸ Said friends watch his imaginary ears and tail wag when you praise him or compliment him. Okay, who's gonna tell him?

➸ It's like they were the ones who realize Deuce has a crush on you first than Deuce himself. They started placing bets on when he's going to realize it or if you'll be the one to find out and Deuce still hasn't realized what he's feeling is infatuation.

➸ It's rather cute, actually. Deuce is already cute but he became quite endearing when he smiles at you. How he's always making sure to see if you're comfortable, checking in on your wellbeing, and asking if you need help.

➸ He's a little protective of you, too. Granted he controls himself to not get into too many fights. He doesn't want you to get roped into the fights and get hurt. However, if some mob student even dares to mess with you when you aren't even doing anything, you got some backup. (Don't mess with the First Year Squad).

➸ Ace teases him about his little crush on you which leads to Deuce punching his arm all flustered. He's a little shit to Deuce about this too, always making kissy sounds when Deuce gets too cute around you.

➸ The funny thing is, Deuce doesn't even realize he's infatuated with you. Again, he thinks you just have a special place in his heart. You're his bro and he's willing to fight with you.

➸ He finally realized when he talked to his mom about you and she commented how glad she is that her son found someone he can be happy with. She reminded him to take his crush as a motivation in his studies, and Deuce nodded at her advice.

➸ Wait WHAT—

➸ Epel is by no means weak. This boy worked at a farm before he was in NRC. That pretty face doesn't mean a pretty heart (sometimes).

➸ Though the urge to pick him up out of nowhere is tempting. No one in the squad tried to do it to catch him off guard (Ace attempted to while Deuce stopped him, Sebek doesn't think it's necessary, and Jack only picked him up because they were working out together). Besides, he isn't some damsel to be hoisted out of nowhere! He doesn't like it...or so he thought when you picked him up by the torso to move him out of the way. Epel didn't see Grim running at full speed on the ground because his tail got bitten by a live crab. Your first instinct was to just grab and lift him—you didn't mean to startle him, really.

➸ Needless to say, Epel developed a new emotion. He doesn't know what to call it or if there's even a name for it. Is there a name for "brain shutting down for brief moments after being picked up with ease?"

➸ Does he like you? Does he actually have a crush on you?? He never had a crush on a guy before—he never had a crush on anyone. Does the fluttery feeling in his chest when you touch shoulders mean that he likes you?? ahufaeofaufea????!!

➸ He's just...lost. So lost about what he's feeling towards you. A lot of invasive and absurd thoughts flood his mind. Do you have a crush on him too? Will you like him? Would you find him weird? Who's gonna "wear the pants" in the relationship?? He doesn't want that! Liking a guy doesn't make him less manly, right? RIGHT??

➸ "Hey Epel are you—" | "I DON'T LIKE HIM." | "...dude I was just gonna ask if you're finished with your essay..."

➸ The squad (sans you) have to reassure Epel that his feelings for you are valid and that doesn't make him less manly than he already is (Jack and Deuce). Liking a guy is the same as liking anyone else (Sebek). Worrying about a certain role to play in a relationship between same-sexes is kinda homophobic (Ace).

➸ That assured him, atleast. He isn't familiar with liking a guy. Plus, with where he came from, it's definitely uncommon. However...there is one thing that Epel is familiar with.

➸ He definitely fantasized about meeting someone to grow old with. Someone who will love him back and share dreams with. No one knows about this of course—what are you talking about? He's not a sappy, romantic person. Not at all!!

➸ Jack would deny it 100%

➸ There is no way he has a crush on you! He can't do that to you—no way. He respects you enough to keep your relationship as just friends. If you're bros, you're bros.

➸ Yeah, that doesn't really work out well for him.

➸ It's easy to tell if Jack likes you or not because he's good at hiding his emotions through defensive remarks (plus his resting face is a scowl). The Kouhai Squad would look at his ears and tail wagging when you even smile at him or congratulate him for a job well done. He's like a puppy,,,

➸ Whenever the Squad would point this out he will deny it. There is no way in Twisted Wonderland that he has a crush on you! He doesn't! Those are...just instinctive bodily reactions!

➸ "You held hands, dude." | "So? That isn't weird." | "Your tail is wagging." | "NO IT ISN'T!!"

➸ It's not like he doesn't like you, he's just...embarrassed. It's like you know what makes him flustered and that makes his heart do a little tap dance. He (somehow) wants to do the same to you. Make you flustered, embarrassed, happy...it's only fair!

➸ He needs to get over this little crush of his...because you're starting to catch up on why he's acting weirdly. If he tells you how he feels about you, how would you take it? He doesn't want to ruin your relationship with each other...aghh why is this so hard?? Jack wishes working on his feelings is as easy as training in Magift...

➸ Admiration and pride are something Sebek is familiar with, but infatuation is new.

➸ Admiring someone and having a crush on them are two similar but different things. When your bond with him develops he...starts to get a little confused.

➸ Has those feelings always been there? Are they different? He wasn't being this weird back then! A simple bump on the shoulders shouldn't spark so much electricity inside him to cause him to tense up!

➸ Sebek was good to hide these new reactions towards you...somewhat. He has to atleast act like everything is normal so he can evaluate what kind of feelings he has towards you. Which works and kinda doesn't since when you do something a little intimate (like a shoulder pat, a cheeky smile, or even praise) he gets a little red. Red. Nevermind Deuce and Jack are asking if he's okay while Grim judges from afar.

➸ He still doesn't understand why he feels so weird around you so he decided to ask someone who has experience—an adult if you will! A humble, wise, elder fae that surely has some explanation for the weird fluttery feeling in his stomach.

➸ "You are infatuated—or to put it simply, you have a crush on the Prefect," Lilia explained to him. Sebek needed a few moments for that information to sink in. He has a crush on you. Okay, that's the mundane mystery solved. What is he gonna do with that information? Carry on with your friendship knowing things might get awkward around the both of you?

➸ Luckily, Lilia gave him three questions to answer personally so he may evaluate his feelings for you. In that way, Sebek knows what the next steps to take without rushing in blindly. You consider him as your friend and he returns that sentiment! He wishes to respect you as you respect him.

➸ Are you a distraction? Oh, definitely! Ever since he started to harbor feelings for you, his thoughts often lead up to you. When the young master is talking about you, he finds himself listening in, not just because Malleus is talking, but because he wonders about what kind of human is friends with his young master. This caused him to write a few words related to you in the essay he was supposed to be writing! When he and Silver are sparring, Silver has the audacity to throw your name into his comment which caught him off guard. In other words: you are despicably distracting!

➸ Are you a motivation? Well...yes. Sebek is proud to be a knight for the young master and he continues to strive in his position. He knows there is still much to learn as a knight and he is willing to develop his skills more to become better. Somehow, you acknowledge his diligence and even commend him for it. Yet you look after him, saying that he needs someone to fight for him. He laughs at that incredulous thought. Sebek prefers he do that to you along with his friends, instead. All of the squad are an odd bunch, including you. Sebek...wants to protect you as well. Somehow, knowing that you are safe urges him to make sure that you'll remain safe.

➸ Are you an inspiration? Sebek ponders on that question. Somehow it is related to the second, but he thinks carefully about it. He noticed how most of the poetry he makes is because of you—he needs an outlet for his feelings, don't take it weirdly—and although the theme varies, the subject of interest is you.

➸ Now that he answered all three of those questions...shall he proceed with courting you? No, that's too fast. Lilia told him to enjoy his youth and don't dive into relationships quickly.

➸ However! He shall confess to you to rid of the constricting feeling in his chest! Sebek wants to talk to you normally again without any hidden feelings!

432 notes · View notes

randomnameless · 3 years ago

Text

I write and write and make comparisons between a swimsuit and themes like tolerance and freedom,

But in this fandom, some people draw more dubious comparisons, especially ones regarding a certain game - and I warned (who?) at the beginning of the FE16 trend that while it wanted to have a Jugdral flair, it obviously failed. You have a sprinkle of Jugdral in FE16, but it’s only a surface image, or even a mirage.

“CrEsT SyStEM”? Holy Blood? No, those comparisons at least were made in good faith and had some merits.

One of the worst comparisons was noted by several friends, a certain someone, wanting to push a certain ship involving a certain character, managed to write :

“Every route makes one villain from Genealogy of the Holy War the hero, Edelgard being Arvis, Dimitri being Eldigan, Claude being Travant and Rhea being Manfroy”

This will not be a post about Manfroy’s hips, you are warned

Who is Eldigan (Eldie)?

A man who is the carrier of Hezul’s holy blood, Hezul being the founder of Augstria, a sovereign state. Everyone loves Eldie, he is good-looking, strong, kind, chivalrous and has the magic blood that makes him able to use his magic sword.

Is he the King of Agustria? No.

The King is a man named Chagall, who has an ugly sprite, doesn’t have Hezul’s magic blood and cannot use the magic sword. He also killed his father, and is really jealous of Eldie.

However, Eldie’s line (House Nodion) has sworn to support the royal line of Augustria (Chagall’s), so even if everyone wants Eldie to ascend to the throne, he will never accept it. Even if Chagall pisses on him, or imprisons him because he felt like it, Eldie will not rebel against his King. Eldie is seen as a Camus, because he will fight and die for Chagall, and his country, when Sigurd is... more or less attacking Chagall (because Sigurd’s forces are occupying Augstria and Sigurd’s orders are to bring peace to the land, Chagall doesn’t want peace and wants to fight to retake his throne). If everything ends well, Eldie will promise Sigurd he will try to talk one last time his king, try to convince him to accept a ceasefire and peace with Granvalle - but Chagall is an ass and beheads Eldie.

Dimitri... isn’t like Eldigan, at all. First of all, Dimitri is supposed to be the crown Prince, instead of being a mere knight sworn to serve the royal family. Secondly, Dimitri doesn’t die because his liege beheads him - Edelgard will never be his liege - he dies either by defending his borders against someone who is bringing war to his lands and wants his head, or he dies because he pursues Edelgard in a three way battle in Gronder.

We do not know what Rufus is like to his nephew, but I am pretty sure he is no Chagall.

The only common points Eldie and Dimitri have is their blond hair, and sometimes, their manner of death. there is also something about bonds with their sisters but we’re not here for that

Who is Travant?

Travant is the King of the Thracian Kingdom, a proto Nohr-like place, where farming is difficult, and the people living there are starving and often turn to banditry or become mercenaries to be able to earn some money.

Thracia’s neighbour, the Manster District (Manster) could export food to Thracia... but they do not, because, well, the people in charge of the Manster District do not like Thracians a lot (and use slurs to talk about them, but Quan is a special character). So Thracians raid the border, with hopes to reunite the peninsula, with the dream that, one day, they will seize the arable lands in the North.

Travant has an infamous line, which more or less went like “I will unite the peninsula for the sake of my people, and if that process dooms me to hell then so be it”.

And to hell he will go, because by Jugdral standards, ambushing Quan and his family in a desert (horses cannot move in sand, another example of gameplay and story integration!) with horseslayers, is despicable, especially since he leaves no one alive, even, apparently, killing Quan’s young daughter Altena.

(Travant ranks pretty high in the douchebag ladder).

With time, Altena grows, unaware that Travant, who adopted her, isn’t her real Father, Quan was. Things happen, Altena discovers the truth, and Travant finally achieves his dream by making a suicidal charge against Seliph’s forces (he doesn’t even bring his magic lance to the fight!), with him dead, finally, the peninsula can be united under one leader.

Claude? Also has a wyvern. And comes from another land than our hero (but which one?). And... that’s all.

If Almyra raids every sunday, it is not because they are starving, but because they are doing it, per Cyril, for funsies. Claude pretends to be a schemer and underhanded, but he never does something on the scale of the Yied Ambush (the moment where Travant pulled out the horseslayers against Quan). Claude never takes a child hostage, and never orders his daughter to punish civilians.

If Claude wants to unite the two countries, it is not because he wants his people to finally leave their life as mercenaries and bandits behind, but because he wants people to understand each other.

Edit because I’m sleeping : Travant will die for his dream. Claude... always survive. Always. I am not saying he doesn’t believe in it, but he is not as desperate as Travant is.

Comparing Claude to Travant is like comparing... Virion to Iago. They are both male with long hair, and pretend to scheme. Bar that? Well... they both have hands...? I guess?

Who is Manfroy?

Manfroy is... both a mastermind and a plothole.

Manfroy was the one in the shadows engineering a war in Jugdral, not because he likes wars, nope, but because he wanted political instability to recreate the Loptyr Empire.

He will help a douchebag to conquer the world, and use him to sire Julius, the only person in Jugdral who can become a host for the dark dragon Loptyr. The last time Loptyr was there... well, apparently it wasn’t roses and sunshines, slavery was rampant and citizens were pitted against each other to make sure the strongest ones would become citizens of the Empire.

Why Manfroy does this? It depends on the sources, but it is heavily implied Manfroy is part of a sect (sect as in group of people practicing a religion, here the Loptyr religion/cult) persecuted by a lot of people in Jugdral - to the point where Agustrians were having witches hunts to chase them. Manfroy and his followers escaped the the Yied desert, touted to be an inhospitable land. His people had no where and no one to turn to, so they prayed to their God Loptyr (who doesn’t give 3 figs about them).

Manfroy is thus the Archbishop of the Loptyr Church. He also killed his son in law, for some reason, and planned to turn his granddaughter in a zombie. Manfroy also supports (and conducts?) the child hunts, basically the plot in the second part of FE4 and FE5 where the Granvalle Empire and the members of the Loptyr Church round up children, take them from their families (sometimes by killing said families) to send them to Granvalle, with the highly suggested goal of sacrificing them one way or another to Loptyr.

On the not-so bright side, Manfroy doesn’t kill Julia - when Loptyr/Julius expressly asking him to do so, because Julia is the only person, story-wise, able to kill him.

What a guy!

Now, Rhea?

There are some comparisons to be made, unlike Claude and Dimitri, but again, it reinforces how they could be seen as foils.

Rhea? Yes, also engineers the birth of a vessel.

However, unlike Manfroy who “forced” Arvis and Deirdre to marry and have a baby, Byleth’s birth, born from the union of Jeralt and Sitri, was completely unexpected. There is no trace in canon of Rhea arranging Jeralt and Sitri’s meeting, and future wedding.

Rhea? Also wants her granddaughter to “die”?

Well, not this one, since Rhea thinks Billy is actually an amnesiac Sothis. Billy would just recover their memories.

Rhea? Doesn’t start a war to build her Sothis vessel. Hell, the DLC is about her previous experiment to resurrect her mother - it was a failure, but someone supposes she fails because she did not want to bleed dry the Four Apostles. Rhea wishes to resurrect a benevolent Goddess (when Manfroy knows Loptyr is... far from benevolent) but will not kill to do so.

Sitri? Asked her to save Billy, by offering her own life.

The most interesting foil though is... how Rhea and Manfroy both belong to a community that was persecuted by others, the people they are supposed to live with.

Manfroy? Went the “if the world hates me, then I will hate it and burn it down” route.

Rhea? Doesn’t want to kill humans, hell, she and her brother disagreed because she didn’t want to kill children of the people who wronged her! She opens a monastery and offers guidance to anyone who needs it, a shelter for the needy and tries her best to protect peace and the humans living under her care.

They could have followed the same path, but didn’t. Manfroy rounds children to kill them, Rhea offers a new home to children who lost theirs.

They can also be compared with their “welp” points, Rhea gave CF!Billy the means to destroy her, just like Manfroy “forgot” to kill Julia - and yet, again, it is different. Rhea trusted Billy and never wanted to use them as a tool, in the other routes, it is because she trusted Billy with “those means” that Billy is able to save the world. Manfroy? Berserks Julia, wishes to use her as a tool and suffers when she regains some agency and beats her brother. But even without Manfroy, Julia would have recovered the Book of Naga to end Loptyr.

Rhea and Manfroy are definitely not parallels, but foils.

And the best for the end...

Who is Arvis?

Well... to summarise Arvis in a few words...

it’s impossible.

So, Arvis is the descendant of one Jugdral’s God-Crusader, Fjalar. Arvis is very proud of his heritage, but he also bears Loptyr blood, through his Mother. And yet, since the Loptry blood exists thanks to Saint Maira - the brother of the Loptry Host of that time, Emperor Galle, who rebelled and helped the Crusaders - he is also very proud of this heritage and his two brands.

Arvis’s familial history is a mess, his father was a womanizer and his mother abandoned him (which might have fueled his Freudian complex?). When his Father died, he exiled all of his bastard siblings, bar Azelle (his bastard half-brother, sired to his mother’s favorite maid). Arvis apparently wasn’t interested in women before he met Deirdre and fell in love with her...

But he had time to sire a bastard (on his best friend and confidante).

Arvis wants to build a world free of prejudice and oppression, and wants to build it by... associating with Manfroy, who blackmails him about his Loptyr blood (if Arvis is proud of his Loptry blood, sadly the Agustrian witch hunts are still a thing, and it will not be well seen in Granvalle’s nobility); however, he made it clear, to Manfroy himself, that he will never allow another Loptry Empire to be reborn. Arvis thus uses hiw fellow Dukes Reptor and Langobalt to set up a coup against Prince Kurth (the Prince of Granvalle) to kill him. Arvis grows close to Kurth’s father, Azmur and more or lesses takes care of everything in Granvalle, since Kurth has no heir left.

And, by chance, Deirdre, Kurth’s bastard daughter, thus rightful Princess of Granvalle, appears at his door. She bears the mark of Naga (the special blood of the Crusader Heim), so they marry, and if they have a son, their son will rule over Granvalle, Arvis acts as a regent until then.

(women can’t rule shit in Jugdral)

Then what? His plan is set into motion, all Granvalle Dukes die, he and Sigurd (plus his pals) are the only ones left, Sigurd dies after being lured to a welcoming party, and Arvis becomes the last man standing able to rule Granvalle, who became, through his plans and treacheries through the 1st gen, an Empire.

(and then his son becomes a Loptyr host, vaporises his mom and makes his sister disappear, wrestles power from him and he is reduced to a sad state (oldvis). He makes a last stand against Seliph, after delivering him Sigurd’s magic sword, and dies.)

Okay.

So, now, Edel.

Arvis managed to become the ruling... person in Granvalle by eliminating all of his rivals, and securing a nice marriage. Edel becomes Emperor... because Ionius gave her his crown, as her father.

So they do not rise to power the same way.

Edel never talks about her brands, but Arvis is proud to bear them and proud of his ancestors. Judging by how Edel speaks of Wilhelm I as a traitor who sold humanity to creatures, I am not sure she is proud to bear his blood.

Also, while Edelgard is extremely prejudiced against Nabateans, Arvis wishes to create a world... free of prejudice (his actions though...). He does not mind Manfroy preaching his stuff, when Edelgard will not allow anyone to follow the Seiros faith (friends put it better, but in several routes, the people who were followers of the Church of Seiros are missing in Adrestia...).

While both Edel and Arvis think they are making “sacrifices” for the greater good, as pointed out earlier, this greater good is different. They both ally with a death cult, but Arvis is naive enough to think Manfroy will not backstab him - he even wishes for him to preach his nonsense freely. Edelgard has been hell bent since day 1 on getting rid of Thales and friends.

By the time Arvis learns of the child hunts and Julius’s nonsense... he wants to stop it. He is however powerless to do so (or so we think! Apparently he and Ishtar managed to hide every children captured in a castle!) but, at least, he tried to do something.

Crest Beasts... are still used, no matter the path, and even after Edelgard became Emperor.

Now, if Manfroy had to capture children and round them up for execution to make sure Arvis would become Emperor, would Arvis have supported him? I... don’t think so. If children were captured during Arvis’s conquest of the world and it was a “necessary evil”, would Arvis have accepted it? We don’t know. Prideful as he is, I don’t think he would have agreed.

(which is all kinds of wrong, the man can start wars and backstab friends, allies and turn his own brother to ashes, but hunting children is too much? Meh. And yet, Manfroy mentions something about his ways and his pride being an obstacle to the realisation of his dream).

Arvis is... a complicated character. A douchebag through and through, who tries to redeem himself at the end, but ultimately fails. He is rewarded for his actions in the 1st gen by the 2nd gen, where Julius becomes Loptyr and destroys his Empire. He had it coming? Yes. Is it painful to watch? Yes.

Edelgard... does not face any retribution for her actions.

Yes, she can also kill her (step) brother. But either she didn’t remember it, or only cries after it, and ultimately puts the blame on him - so it is not a sacrifice ?

People doubt her words? Well, it doesn’t matter, Linhardt, Yuri and Lysithea are still alive after their... interrogations. Reptor doubted Arvis’s words? Aida was sent as back-up (and... backstabbed him).

Ultimately, Arvis loses Deirdre (whose ghost chills with Sigurd’s), Julia and Julius, whom he loved dearly. Edel loses... Billy, and some randoms.

So, in a way, Edel feels like a discount Arvis, because she misses his ascension to power and his downfall. Arvis doesn’t mow down enemies on the front lines like she is doing, Arvis maneuvers to ensure victory.

Both fight for ideals, but Arvis seems to believe in them when I cannot believe a world for “humanity” involves continuous making of Crest Beasts.

Both betray the main character, but Edelgard is hit with the uwu hammer, thus cannot kill Billy - Thales does it in the non CF-routes.

So... short story, long story, Eldie is not Dimitri, Claude is not Travant, Rhea is a foil to Manfroy and Edelgard is a discount Arvis.

Also, I don’t know what kind of weed the person who wrote this take had, but labeling Eldie as one of FE4′s villain is as dumb as labeling FE7 Karla a villain because she appears as a red unit you have to fight.

where is edel’s bastard son

31 notes · View notes

hologramcowboy · 3 years ago

Note

I am interested to know your opinion on shippers obsession with JA. Both J2 and cockles/destiel shippers go to great lengths to prove Jensen is either with JP or Misha. Its like he is a prize and whoever has him is the winner. JA is absolutely adorable I know but why is him being with either of these men romantically important to these people.

Anon, as promised I took my time answering this and gave it my full attention, this is probably going to seem like the most judgmental post in the history of ever and possibly the longest but here goes:

When it comes to shipping, I've stated before that I love seeing people engage their creativity, fall in love with a show and then with creative license create something new that brings them joy. That's so awesome to see. But shipping has a dark side or, rather, a small percentage of people who are set on ruining the fandom experience for all.

Let me start by saying that Your question would be better posed to a shipper that would be open enough to discuss with you. But since you asked me, in particular, it probably was for a reason so here's my perspective. As always, please ignore whatever doesn't resonate and follow your inner guidance.

From a psychological point of view, no one becomes over invested in anything without projecting a personal issue unto that situation/person. I think the hateful shippers (let's remember there are also normal people in this group not just cray ones) see themselves in the people they ship so, for them, their favorite star getting Jensen is like them getting Jensen. It's a projection of an inner frustration. People devalue themselves so they don't see themselves as valuable enough to be in a great relationship, which is why they chose someone to stan who embodies what they want to be and who can have what they think they cannot have.

Psychologically speaking, taking sexual identities that don't belong to Jensen and trying to force them unto him is damaging. It would be damaging to any human let alone someone who is outside of these fandom groups and can't understand everything about them. But people never put themselves in Jensen's shoes. It's one thing to build a story inspired by a series and love it so much you share it with the actor and another to confuse the real-life actor with the character you created. But I do get that these people need to see themselves in Jensen and Misha/ Jensen and Jared/ etc., they need to be recognized, they need to win. That's human and natural but what I will never get is WHY they bully Jensen, make up lies about him and objectify him when they know this hurts him. Even the people who think Jared and Jensen are in a relationship, like that's cool as long as they don't harm anyone with it, it's their prerogative but when they assault others who believe differently or attack the actors then it becomes a toxic, toxic thing.

I should share an important aspect from my perspective, Actors use sexuality a lot in their scenes, they use it to create chemistry. So often, these rumors happen because people are ignorant about an Actor's toolbox and how sexuality is included in mostly everything. Why? Because it is primal. For this reason, there are exercises aimed at creating chemistry and when script analysis is done it's always best to give special attention and look for the main chemistry/climax points of any story, that's the ultimate goal after all. This chemistry might be sexual or otherwise, but it is the fuel of the story and it is what captivates the audience. Aside from this, the whole point of a tv show is to bring to life a plot with chemistry so everything is set up to support and feature the through line of a story. In Supernatural's case, it's the love between the two brothers, that's the core of Supernatural and so the whole show was dependent on the chemistry between the two leads, which meant they had to find to super attractive men who also vibed believably that they could share a strong bond despite being basically in competition as Actors.

All of this not considering the intimacy the camera creates from a cinematic point of view. So, it's funny to me when people think this one or that one are dating just because they have chemistry because any actor that is trained can create chemistry with anyone within minutes. That being said, people get discarded all the time during audition due to said chemistry, mostly not because they suck at creating it but because execs/directors/ etc are looking for a certain zing which you either have naturally or you learn to create masterfully. Sometimes it can even be created from the outside in by manipulating what the audience sees and how they see it through masterful direction, styling, context creation, etc.

Another point to consider is that someone who is highly desirable (think leading man, leading men and women are usually the men and women most want to sleep with) will magnetize others regardless of circumstances and create chemistry on a subconscious level. People automatically assume and start rumors but it's to deflect the fact that they are attracted and magnetized to said individual and perhaps lack the maturity or awareness to handle it in healthy ways. Think of any sex symbol, people all described them differently based on how lude or intelligent the person doing the describing was but they all had one thing in common: Blind Desire. Unfortunately, when blind desire hits people and they do not have the tools to process it some can get pretty evil. Look at Elta, she's shamelessly built her whole identity around sleeping with Jensen and gives zero f**** about the damage to his image she's done time and time again. So, his own wife behaves like an obsessed fan would. It's sad and heartbreaking. But this often happens when people have magnetism, most don't know how to process it, so you get these really weird experiences that make you want to move to a different planet and directly affect your self-esteem because when people are obsessed with you, you're not going to blame them, you're going to blame yourself and feel like there's something wrong within you. Whether people admit to it or not, what they do does have an impact on the Actors not just on their own mental balance.

So, the point is, shipping in and of itself isn't bad, it's only the percentage of people dead set on hatred and malice that choose practices that harm the actors and other fans that sucks big time.

Jensen is innocent in all of this and besides doing his job as an Actor, he has done nothing to encourage this type of behavior and it does not reflect his values, beliefs and choices, the only thing it reflects is the nature of the people who are being vile.

Again, I could be completely off on this, this is just my impression so please find a shipper that can openly and kindly speak to you and explain their valuable perspective because I am sure they have so much more to share and explain.

9 notes · View notes

mikaze-discord · 3 years ago

Text

Quartet Night: Love letters

Annnnnd these are the love letters written for Quartet Night!!!

Please enjoy under the cut~

REIJI KOTOBUKI

From Anon:

I've always been drawn to characters with complex (and fairly dark) personalities, so liking Rei-chan was honestly inevitable for me.

He looks like a very bright and cheerful character at first, which he is, but sometimes that part of him is a little misleading because, in actuality, he's a character that holds a lot of negative feelings about himself due to a past that he can't seem to move on from. He holds a lot of those feelings to himself because he doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He's a reliable, cunning, and ultimately selfless character that chooses to shoulder a lot on his own out of his infinite care for others, and perhaps a secret sense of atonement, all hidden behind his bright demeanor and goofy smile, and it's endlessly interesting to me.

Besides the duality of his personality, he has a lot of other endearing quirks to love about him. He loves his mom a lot and is a mama's boy. His old-man jargon and catchphrases never fail to amuse (I still can't get over the way he says "my girl"). His obsession with anything even remotely British is something my APH England phase can relate to. His style of music brings a lot of pleasant feelings of nostalgia for me, and his pretty voice suits them a lot. And most of all he's just a very good boy overall. I rate 99999 out of 10 would love and support him and also maybe pay for his therapy because god knows he needs it. Happy anniversary!!

From another anon:

Would you like to hear a story? You do? Very well then, may this story be one you enjoy.

What do I like about Reiji kotobuki? A Lot of things actually!

Well, I've always really liked Reiji as a character as he seemed to be one of the more interesting characters to me, due to how complex he is with his backstory and general just personality.

I have always really enjoyed how Reiji just solves problems too? Like he is just such an outgoing person who deserves all the support!!!

Like the best word I can use for Reiji is just, unique. Everything about him is just so Reiji. From the way he talks, to his nicknames or even his texting style. Like have you seen how many people use emoticons when texting as Reiji? It's just so him.

I like his way of thinking too! I feel like some of the interactions in the games are just so interesting, just seeing Reiji’s point of view. How he deals with a sort of survivor’s guilt and all of that.

Personally, some of my most memorable roleplaying moments were watching a Reiji rper in action, like just seeing them interact and flow so seamlessly with the other characters was just so fascinating to wee baby rper me. Such a large part of playing Reiji is just how you flow with the people around you and comedic timing. I have so many funny moments where Reiji was just interacting with people and it was just so inspirational (?) like I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I had learnt alot from them. I still consider them my roleplaying senpai almost! I don't talk to them anymore but I really had an amazing time just seeing their spin on the character.

I don't find him to be a romantic partner towards me nor do I see any of the characters in that light, but I've always found Reiji as such a personal character. Not even just towards me, like even with other utapri stans. The most relatable character always seems to be Reiji.

I've always been pretty similar in many aspects to him and I often find myself relating to him in numerous ways like his vibe is just relatable! I have often found myself trying to make other people laugh and have fun that many times I'm spreading myself thin and feel unappreciated...Reiji really helped with that.

This is where i start getting into the really personal stuff LOL feel free to skip if you dont wanna hear the angsty backstory.

I had really come to love Reiji when I had just...hit a low. I had a group of friends who I enjoyed hanging out with and just talking to, but they weren't very good friends per say. I often had to schedule every activity we did and I spent days and nights trying to think of concepts that might be fun. They took it for granted.. I had spent 4 months trying to make a game for them, and they had constantly pushed back times that we would play it. Using excuses to not play it, without telling me out right what they did not like or even why. The site I used was later taken down without notice and thus I had lost all my progress. Later, they had mentioned how they would like to play it except that later ended up being two years later. I really wish I could've solved things with that friend group like Quartet Night did but that didn't happen. That is when I started seeing things Reiji’s way? Not to say that it was the same or similar scenario to Reiji but I had just associated it with him.

RANMARU KUROSAKI

From Anon:

Ran is such a fun character! He sounds like a "rough outside, soft inside" kind of character, but his roughness is more like an integral part of him and it's through it that he shows he cares rather than setting it aside. That's what made me want to rp him. I also like how he is such a strong guy who's always determined to do his best in everything he does despite so much having gone wrong in his past. And it's very satisfying to see him form bonds and start to trust people.

From @mikaze-san:

Originally, my favourite Utapri boy was Ai, and it had been the robot boy for several years upon entering the fandom. In fact, it only switched to Ranmaru sometime late last year but regardless, I would still die for this man. Part of the reason why I switched is because I’ve always been a fan of Suzuki Tatsuhisa and I have a huge bias towards any man who wears nail polish without fearing being “feminine” because fuck gender roles.

As someone who studies fashion, I think Ranmaru is very coordinated and confident when it comes to portraying himself that way. He knows he’s not very good at expressing his emotions and utilises his passion for rock and playing the bass to portray those feelings through his songs. It’s also incredibly inspiring to know that he bounces back from pretty much anything considering his backstory and the stuff he deals with in the game/anime.

But my main reason for loving Ranmaru so much stems from the fact that I admire him a lot and want to be more like him. For a long time last year, I got to roleplay as Ranmaru in a few Utapri groups and through those experiences, I gained a better understanding and appreciation of the characters that I wrote for. In some weird way, by highlighting his flaws, character progression and how he dealt with different emotions, I ended up providing insight into how I dealt with similar issues by looking at them from a 3rd person perspective.

I used to be very shy and was very shut off from friends and family, and due to this I’ve always admired people in my life or fictional characters that are so confident in being who they are. Ranmaru particularly struck that chord in me because his bluntness knows no end. He’s very opinionated and doesn’t fear confrontation, in most cases being the one to provoke it. He speaks his mind openly without being overly anxious of the consequences. This is something that I feel is especially relevant today with being your authentic/unapologetic self is such a trend.

It’s something I’ve also noticed with having met people in or outside of this fandom, the notion of idolising a fictional character containing traits that we want to see in ourselves. Which made me think about a lot of my favourite kinds of characters which at the end of the day all boil down to sharing one similar trait: Being a bitch.

And in Utapri, Ranmaru embodies that. So naturally it’s very easy for me to idolise him.

(Tldr: I like his bitchy attitude.)

AI MIKAZE

From Arashi:

It's hard to put into words why I love Ai Mikaze, perhaps it's because I'm subconsciously drawn to him, maybe it's because his hair and eyes are my favorite color, maybe it's because his voice is that of an angels, there are many reasons why I love him. I couldn't tell you a definite, "These one or two reasons are the entire reason I love him", but I'll try to sum it up.

I grew to love him by admiring his personality, his smile, his determination to reach his goals, everything about him made me happy. He's strict and a little scary at times, but when he sees people caring for him, he becomes happy and in a way, sentimental. He's not sure how to explain the way he feels, but he tries. I think I admire how he holds all the little things precious to his heart as he learns about them, and he wants to understand how to care for others and how they care for them in return. Even after six years, he still remains the most dear to me. I think that he now has a sentimental value to me, because even if I 'loved' another character more for a while, I will always come back to Ai. Ai deserves the world, and I'd give it to him if I could. He'll always be special to me, and I think that he very much deserves that.

From Maronda:

My love for Ai started after I found Shining Live by chance and started to play. At first I wasn't particularly attached to any of the characters and decided to go back and watch the anime to maybe remember some context other than who Starish was. When I got to the episode focused on Ai and his "secret" I was absolutely thrown off by it all. I ended up feeling like I had so many questions and I knew that the anime would give me little to no answers, so I frequently turned to rambling on the internet about it. Eventually, this fixation on weird things about him seemed to turn into a clear fondness for him, and friends made me realize just how much I liked him. Knowing the cold and often strange aspects of his personality was due to something out of his control was something I resonated with as someone on the autism spectrum. He reminded me of some of the ways I used to think and behave.

I also began to notice other things I loved about him. Things like how soothing I found his voice, the pleasant shade of light blue in his hair and eyes, how ridiculously pretty he is... but the best things are the endearing parts of his personality. Though he's somewhat harsh, he's still entirely genuine. His curiosity is absolutely precious and his occasional awkwardness in expressing emotion or understanding the emotions of others made me empathize with him. And if you look at the Ai in Shining Live and compare it to the Ai in the anime and games... he really has changed a lot and grown as a person. He now seems so much gentler and understanding, and he clearly values the friendships he has now too! I think he's a wonderful character and ever since friends of mine encouraged me to selfship I've essentially been in love with him, but it also makes me happy to see other people appreciate him for other reasons as well. He's just so lovable!

CAMUS

From @uta-no-fakku-sama:

At the very beginning of my UtaPri interest, Camus never really caught my attention. That is until he became my first My Only Prince UR. I’ve come to appreciate him a lot more ever since, and now he’s become my favorite QUARTET NIGHT member! Along the way, I learned more about him and realized he’s one of the more complicated characters to understand. Nonetheless, I absolutely adore him. I tend to tease and make fun of him a lot, but deep down I truly do like him a whole bunch!

From @/waddamaloooon on twt:

A little Camus appreciation post

(alternatively known as; how this guy managed to harshly take my heart and step on it like the gumin I am.)

Hello, this is Suikamaru, here to share a tiny story of why I, and eventually you, love Camus Rondo Cryzard.

At first glance, his looks appealed to me, but not his behavior (and ironically enough, his voice) so I didn't bat an eye on him. I've always been on a neutral leaning to dislike opinion on Camus, which is quite understandable because have you SEEN the way he acts. Unfathomable.

…..To a Young Suikamaru, that is.

I've grown, so naturally I've changed preferences regarding characters, ikemen, and who to stan and who to avoid like the plague. I will lie if I said that I expected to like that blonde confectionery devouring machine at any point of my life.

But it did happen so who are we fooling here.

It dawned on me that Camus is the type of character that you cannot appreciate unless you go in depth into his lore, backstory, and see him for who he really is. Because then everything else will make sense. And that never happened in my case until I started roleplaying as him.

I realized that he's not just a two faced, sweet toothed mean man. He's a perfectionist, someone who's always been raised since his childhood days to be nothing less than complete, who has locked on his heart and emotions to devote himself completely to the purpose given to him. He has the looks and brains for what though? He should be a little stupid honestly.

But his intelligence gave him the complexity that he just needed for his characteristics. Because as aforementioned, he's not someone to easily like or fall in love with. And I think that's quite rare in characters, and very much appreciated due to the fact it gives the fans a chance to not actually stay on a flat level of knowledge regarding their favorite characters.

I've slowly started to see myself in some aspects of him, which was the number one factor of liking him. Then came the Maeno magic when I realized Camus shares the same VA as another character that I love as well. (Hamelin, from SinoAlice.) From then, everything went downhill.

In a good way. I think..

Well, that is all from me, please read about this handsome man and appreciate his hard work both as an individual and as an idol. There is SO much to him that's p much overlooked and I'm getting broke from spending my money on his living expenses rent free in my head. Take him off my head.

#utapri #utanoprincesama #uta no prince sama #Reiji kotobuki #Kotobuki reiji #Ranmaru kurosaki #utapri camus #ai mikaze #mikaze ai #quartet night

22 notes · View notes

chrisbangs · 4 years ago

Photo

Hi everyone! Here I am (late as always) but just in time to shower you all with a lil appreciation and love, because after this year, I think we all need it! (Apologies in advance for all the typos I will be making- no I will not proof read this <3)

I just wanted to start off by saying: thank you so much to everyone who has talked to me, become my friend, been kind to me, followed me, supported my content, throughout this year. To anyone who’s ever interacted / complimented / rb’d / liked my gifs and my gfxs, it means the world and I am so grateful and thankful to you. I honestly hit several milestones throughout this year and I just feel so in awe of how many people have supported me. I know 2020 wasn’t kind to many people, but I really did suffer a lot this year, and having people by my side who made me laugh and smile and feel special, made all the difference. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything.

Happy New Year to all my mutuals, followers, and people I follow! Thank you for making this terrible year, not so terrible.

With all my love, Li / Moon! 🖤🌙🐺

@00hj 🌙 // @2miin // @3noracha 🌙 // @914m // @agibbng // @avocadomin // @bangchans // @banghans 🌙 // @bestiez 🌙 // @binnies 🌙 // @blueprintskz // @binminseok // @changbeanie // @felixies 🌙 // @go-saeng // @hanjin // @huiracha 🌙 // @hwjins // @hyunjins 🌙 // @hyunjinz // @hyunknow // @hyunnie 🌙 // @innielove // @inracha // @jeonginx // @ji-sungs // @jinlix // @jisquish 🌙 // @jypestraykids // @leeknown // @leeminho-s // @leemvnho // @luvknow // @minhos 🌙 // @mydays 🌙 // @ontracc 🌙 // @realstraykids 🌙 // @saintmilky 🌙 // @seoschangbin // @seungminhos 🌙 // @seungminsmile // @strayhags // @straylov 🌙 // @sunnykids // @tightenmydoubleknot // @tuanzie 🌙 // @uayv 🌙 // @wonstal // @yangjeongin // @yangjeonginz 🌙 // @youngke

(If there’s a lil 🌙 by your name, I left a little extra message for you under the cut! Sorry I couldn’t do this for everyone, but please know I love all of you so much and am grateful for the things you bring to my dash!)

@00hj: Karen! Hi angel!!! You’re probably one of my first stay friends which is crazy to me ; __ ; like I really can’t believe it’s already been so long that we’ve known each other... I really just wanted to say that I hope the coming year is warm and kind and good to you because you really deserve it. Thank you for working so hard on straykidsupdate... And you post the loveliest gifs and gfx and are just such a kind soul... You’re such a pillar in this community and I’m so lucky to know and be your friend. Let’s go get some pie some day soon okay?

@3noracha: Falak! I know I suck at messaging and I’m so sorry for this. I missed your presence on here a lot and I miss all your amazing creations... Just today I saw some of your gfx in my gfx inspo tag and I was just amazed all over again. You’ve always been so kind to me and caring and just such a wonderful friend and I’m beyond grateful to you. I know you’re not as active these days but when you do post stuff it makes me so !!! Like I’m just so grateful to know you!! I hope the coming year will be kind to you!

@banghans: Ollieeeee!!! Hi sweetheart! I know we really only got to know each other this year through the createskz gc, but !! talking to you is so easy and comfortable, and you make me laugh so much. Thank you for always being such a warm person to be around. Everything you make is so lovely please don’t doubt that!! I hope that the coming year we get to talk more and that it treats you well angel!

@bestiez: Nita ; __ ; Although we’re not really in the same fandoms anymore, you’re still my OG johfam partner in crime. I’m so grateful to have known you as long as I have. You are just one of the kindest, funniest, warmest people I know. Thank you for always coming by and messaging me time to time and making me feel so warm and happy. You’re just a bright ray of sunshine who’s been there for me since so long and I can’t begin to thank you. I hope the new year brings you nothing but happiness and health and good things.

@binnies: Jem, where do I even begin? I refuse to make this too long or embarrassingly cheesy, because I already do that to you literally every day... But, I’m so so so grateful that we became friends. You made my 2020 so different from how it started. I feel so so so loved because of you. You offer nothing but the kindest of words (except when we’re sleep deprived because then you’re just The Funniest) and I am just so grateful to you. My Twin, My Bangerz Bro (help), My HoneyJem... How lucky I am to have you in my life... You truly helped me get to the other side of 2020 without a doubt in my mind... I feel so lucky that you were there with me... Thank you for everything. I hope the new year is full of love, happiness, and everything you so utterly deserve my babie!

@felixies: Luna! Hi sweet angel! We’ve known each other a while now huh ; __ ; It feels like it’s already been so long since we became pals, and I just feel so lucky to know you. I know we’ve both been through hell because of stay tumblr (and just in general) but you’re genuinely one of the strongest people I know... You’re so kind and funny and warm and smart and I just feel so lucky to have you in my life as a friend. Thank you for always cheering me on and being so sweet to me. I hope you know how much I love you! I hope you have a wonderful new year angel... You only deserve the best!

@huiracha: Marie! Hi my sweet angel!!! I know I’ve said it before but, thank you for being such an easy person to talk to and be around. You’re such a comfortable presence who makes me feel safe and comfy to talk to... I think you’re genuinely one of the most talented CCs on here and I’m so lucky to see your gifs and see your work. You’re just so amazing and leave me in awe ; ___ ; Thank you for being so kind to me and always talking with me about SKZ or PTG or Channie... I’m really so lucky to know you and love you! I hope you have a wonderful new year my angel!

@hyunjins: Hales... The way I don’t even know what to say here except: I love you. I’m so lucky to have you as a friend... You’re truly one of the funniest, best people I’ve come to know in my life. I cannot even begin to explain how much you’ve inspired me and made me feel happy. You’re just such a wonderful person and I am beyond glad we’re pals. Even if our friendship started out as you calling me a furry -___- I wouldn’t have it any other way ; __ ; I am so grateful to you and thankful to you. I love you and hope you have a wonderful new year! I love you!!!

@hyunnie: Kat! My girl! My Dude! One of the most talented stays on this site for real... Everything you make is just loaded with creativity and uniqueness and brilliance- just like you. I can’t tell you how happy I am we became closer this year... Like I feel so happy and lucky to know you and be your friend. You’ve inspired me in so many ways and everything you make is insanely cool. I love you so much Kat!!! I hope you have a wonderful new year and I can’t wait to see what you make next!

@jisquish: Dia my sweet angel... Happy new year! I hope you know that even if you’re not on much anymore, everytime I see you on my dash my heart lights up a little. I am so glad you were one of my first friends here- even if I didn’t know it at the time. I feel so, so lucky that we’ve stayed friends and that I can talk to you comfortably and easily. You’ve been such a wonderful part of my stayblr experience and I feel like you brighten my life up so much. Thank you so much!! I love you so much!! I hope the coming year is filled with only happiness and good things for you!

@minhos: Haru!!! Thank you for working so hard for this community. I am so lucky to know you and be your friend, seriously. You’ve made me smile and laugh countless times. Thank you for always just dropping in and checking on me... It truly means a lot to me and makes me feel important and cared for. I love you so much pal! I hope the new year brings you nothing but happiness and love and good things angel.

@mydays: Moon! Hi sweetheart! I just wanted to say a quick thank you for always being around to talk about Day6 with me and for making me laugh and smile and just for bringing warmth and good things to my dash. Everytime we talk I feel so comfy and happy and lucky to know you. I hope you have a wonderful new year filled with all the good things the universe could bring. Hehe, thank you for always posting moon related content!!!

@ontracc: Autumn!!! I hope you know how much I appreciate all the lil messages you send me every now and then, just to ask me how I’m doing. It means a lot and I hope you know, I’m grateful! I really hope you know how much I appreciate you and your content and just general presence on the dash and in the dms and in the gc! I’m so lucky to be your pal and I hope the new year brings you happiness and love and all the good things you deserve!

@realstraykids: Em! ; __ ; First of all, thank you so much for running foryjn with me... I know I have been kinda -___- with updating lately but I’ll be better about it fajiwoefowan... Anyway, you know how much I adore everything you make and I hope you know how much of a giant inspiration you are to me. You’re so creative and talented and friendly and bright and you are just one of the best people I’ve met on here. I just feel so lucky to be your friend and know you and just !!! chat with you! Everytime we talk I’m smiling and feeling happy... I’m so happy we bonded over loving Jeongin... Fr like... Best times!!! Anyway, I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you! Happy new year babie! Thank you for everything you do for stayblr and for me! I love you!!!

@saintmilky: Paige ; __ ; my angel... Thank you for being so sweet to me always. You are just one of those people who makes me smile and laugh so easily... You love frogs and bears and spn and I just feel all these things so deeply in my soul. I keep wanting to message you about SPN and stuff but I get so embarrassed and shy faoweifno... Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful new year and that all the things you deserve come your way!!! Love you my pal!!!

@seungminhos: Bia... My babie... My baba... My soulmate... Where do I even begin... Another year has passed by and so much has happened, and I just don’t know where I’d be without you... There is no doubt in my mind that I am the luckiest person on this earth because I found you and got to be your friend. You’ve made my life a beautiful, bright, fun, endearing place, all through your kindness and love and support. I am so lucky to be your friend and to be able to love you and just to know you... Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me and been with me for, through this year, through every year. Truly, I don’t think I would’ve made it out of 2020 without you running by my side. I don’t know where I’d be without you, but I’m just so glad that you’re here with me now. That you’ve made my life a very, very special place. Happy new year my sweet angel girl. I wish you nothing but the best, and that everything you’re wishing for comes true my love. Let’s keep on going together in 2021, okay? I love you!

@straylov: Nina! Thank you for being such a positive, warm angel. You bring so much happiness and brightness to stayblr, you’re truly irreplaceable. Your talent for gfx and gifs is just crazy. Everything you make is so beautiful and creative and so amazing; I’m just always in awe of everything you do. I hope you have a wonderful new year full of good things and good people!

@tuanzie: Jo! Although we haven’t talked that often, I just wanted to say thank you for always being so kind to me and supporting the things I make. Not only that but, you make some of the most beautiful and creative things I’ve seen and I’m always excited to see what you make next! I hope you get to achieve all the things you want in the new year and that only good things come your way. You truly deserve the best angel! Happy new year!

@uayv: Joyce! I miss you and your beautiful work so much. You truly are one of my biggest inspirations as a gfx maker. Everything you make is beautiful, thoughtful, creative, and just amazing. I feel so lucky to be able to see your work as well as be your friend. You’ll be the bread to my soup always ma’am! I love you so much and hope you know! Thank you for being my pal! Happy new year angel!

@yangjeonginz: June! Bug Boy!!! My sweet lil angel! Happy new year! I know I already told you last night, but thank you for being by my side during this year. I’m so happy we got around to talking more and became so close! You are just such a bright light in my life and I am so lucky to know you and love you! Thank you for always, always, always making me laugh and for listening to me rant about random stuff... I feel so safe and comfortable because of you. You really were a big reason that I survived 2020 and made it to the other side. Without you, I don’t know where I’d be... Thank you so much angel... I hope you have a wonderful new year filled with love and good memories and everything you deserve.

#li.ff #li.txt #long post #; ___ ;#this took For Ever...#banner is kinda lame but idc <3 hehfhwioaoieowe :(#i love u all #thank u so much for making this year not so ugly..#mwah...#hope this tags everyone properly -__-

128 notes · View notes

quwarichi · 3 years ago

Text

heard from your mother au - The Ripple Effect

this is my early birthday gift for @schmuzz1 Ever heard of the ripple effect? you probably did but let's go over it once more; the ripple effect is like if you took a rock and threw it into a lake. Where the rock would hit and sink a ripple would be created, and from there it would only grow bigger and bigger, taking over more space, until the water settles again.

HFYM is the ripple effect ficsonified. The premise is simple, for those who watched the episode Despair in the last season of Supernatural. Castiel confesses his love to Dean, gets taken by the Empty. He wakes up in 2003 in a motel room, without his memories and only a memory saying “Don’t do this, Cas” which helps him figure out his name is Cas, and that he’s a hunter. Simple.

Then he meets Dean.

Now, we’ve all read various pre-series fics, haven’t we? It’s a token when giving fans a time-gap that we don’t know much about, they’d try to fill it as best as their imagination limitations will help them. So what is so special about HFYM?

In a word; Cas.

Meet this angelic being, who without his memories fully believes his humanity, and drives around the US not looking for answers, exactly, but just trying to help out to the best of his ability. By putting Cas in a setting pre-series, and letting the readers know that this Cas is their Castiel, the story already kicks into gear with a race to see when and how Cas will affect the story.

We didn’t know about angels until season 4. We didn’t THINK there was a better way to kill demons other than the Colt until season 3. Characters and themes that we would’ve taken years to get to know in the show are being used and constantly appear throughout what HFYM would call season 0 (or is that just me? make some noise). But Cas changes all of that just by being. For this next part, I recommend you stop reading this post if you haven’t read this fic, go read it in its entirety, and come back here after you’re done and had time to adjust.

We good? Good.

Pamela Barnes, the love of my life and a five-episode cameo in the Supernatural show. In HFYM, she acts as Cas’ best friend most of the time, teaching him the highs (hehe) and lows of having what they all figure is a really developed psychic ability. Bringing Pamela in chapter 16 was not only a brilliant use of character but a ripple effect. But I get ahead of myself. To understand why Pamela is suddenly there, we need to identify the biggest ripple of them all; Dean fucking Winchester.

Dean and Cas, from the start, develop a sort of kinship. It’s reminiscent of their first meeting in Lazarus Rising, where Castiel rescues Dean but also has its own charm. Here, Cas has no idea he’s an angel, and that’s why humanity is so strange to him. Dean views Cas as a weirdo that is not to be trusted, and later as a weirdo that he can kinda trust but make sure to watch his back around him.

In a way, they’re mirrors. Cas’ effortless way of creating acquaintances highlights just how isolated Dean is from people because of John’s influence. Whenever they’re together, Dean finds himself surrounded by others too, but apart it’s clear that Cas (to much of my, and probably his, surprise) is the social one.

Quoting the fic tags: “like maybe if he [Pre-series Dean Winchester] got a boyfriend he would have calmed down” is the very abstract explanation of the ripple effect. By being isolated for so long, without even Sam to keep him company, Dean couldn’t develop properly, resulting in the Dean we get in season 1. But ripples (courtesy of Cas) reach him and that’s where it all comes together. By meeting Cas pre-series Dean is given two things; one, no more isolation, time to grow sunshine. Two, a romantic subplot.

Now I don’t know how much you know about media - but romantic subplots are usually very character forwarding if done right. The best thing about the romantic subplot in HFYM is that it’s not immediate. Fuck no. It’s built on months of friendship and a bond forged in hunting, in putting each other’s lives in the other’s hands like it’s nothing. When they finally get together (I did the math, they get together when the story is like, halfway over. 52% to be exact) it makes sense because you watched them forge the bond and thus pushing their character development further. Romantic subplots are one of the best ways to push a character to their limits (looking at you, chapter 49) and then break those limits. So the biggest ripple was basically Cas and Dean thinking “huh, lemme smooch” and then doing it instead of eye fucking for twelve years.

But that’s not what I’m talking about, exactly. The biggest ripple effect that Cas did with Dean is that when season 1 starts (did I mentioned this was a canon rewrite? We love multitasking), when Dean goes to get Sam for Jericho and everything is put into hyperdrive, Dean is different. It affects how people around him act, especially Sam. The first season is very Sam-driven, but the main character will be changed by changing the “supporting” cast. It doesn’t help that Cas ripple effect number 2932#: Save Jess has definitely quelled the grief-rage thing that Sam has going on in canon since she’s not gone, and is actually around them for a while before leaving to work with Bobby and Jo. Sam immediately notices that something’s different about Dean, but he can’t put a finger on it. Requoting tags: “he would have calmed down”. Gone is the aimless rage and loss that makes him reckless and drinking too much. Gone are the women chasing days because he’s in a committed relationship. Heck Dean has a bit of self-esteem now, having bagged that (points at frog-shirt wearing Cas) and it affects the story in the way he and Sam interact.

Sam can feel that Dean’s hiding something from him (Cas) and it makes a rift between them because he doesn’t get who’s this hunter Dean hangs out with that is definitely replacing Sam in Dean’s eyes - the same guy who used weird powers to save Jess from a demon. Dean is still hurt over Sam leaving for Stanford and anxious about him finding out about Cas and John and everything. Basically, take season 1 brother dynamics and throw a live grenade in the mix. That grenade is Cas, btw.

Ripples, man.

Cas affects the story - he gets Dean to get back in touch with Bobby because he’s looking for an explanation for why he heals from mortal wounds like it’s nothing, why he doesn’t need sleep, and why he’s never hungry. Bobby connects Cas to Pamela, thinking Cas is an odd psychic, and Pamela becomes inherently important in the way that she helps Cas control his powers and provides his first real… non-platonic experience (off-screen, dw they’re friends) that later helps him discern what Dean is to him. Through Bobby, he also meets Ellen and Jo, in the Roadhouse. He goes on hunts alone, and finds a knife that helps him save a possessed girl named Taylor who is later a part of an actual episode (Hookman) and there’s recognition, she’s not just a standby person and that connects with Jess’ storyline, that connects with Sam’s storyline that connects with Dean’s storyline. By being him, Cas creates ripples everywhere he touches because he’s not supposed to be there.

The otherwise undisturbed surface is broken because Cas is there to break it and create ripples that connect with each other, all unknowingly, and the way it’s constructed is incredible.

I could add more about Dean’s bisexuality journey or realization, or how lack of trauma makes Cas a lot more narrative-free but it could all come crashing down on him if he remembers the past, or how Sam and Jess are so interesting like yes girl flesh out the revenge reason we see in three episodes, but this is getting long and I could always make new posts about this fic that I love so much.

Happy birthday, Jenn, you’re an incredible friend and writer and I’m so lucky to have found you in this mayhem of a fandom.

Go read heard from your mother (she don’t recognize you) on ao3, you magnificent people.

#happy birthday jenn #i couldn't think of what to get you so i wrote a fic meta about your fic that gives me life so thank you #i tried really hard to think about what drew me to the fic and ripples was the answer so here have some ripple effect drama #could i have written a fic? yes but fic meta is something that can be so personal sometimes #love finding themes in here that you probably didn't think about when you wrote this totally 50k fic #love you so much babe i hope you enjoyed this #heard from your mother au #hfym au #fic meta #destiel #spn #destiel fic

23 notes · View notes

sugarcubetikki · 4 years ago

Text

The Ladynoir Fight Scene

I’m going to talk about the Ladynoir fight scene in the NY special and consequences of that because that was the biggest conflict in that episode. And a lot of the fandom have mixed opinions about it, I hear different opinions all the time. I’ve heard things from it’s all Ladybug’s fault to Chat Noir isn’t fit to be a superhero. I want to present some of my own opinions and analyze through the entire situation.

Firstly, I’d say the actual situation was caused due to a chain of events. Honestly, Adrien had quite a solid plan and it would’ve worked if he wasn’t trapped in the room with Marinette (basically if Aeon and Jess weren’t scheming). They were put in the worst case scenario and a lot of events led up to it: Marinette convincing Gabriel to let Adrien come, Gabriel’s own desire to go to NY for “villainous” reasons and wanting to leave Adrien out of it, Plagg wanting Adrien to have more freedom, Adrien being afraid of disappointing Ladybug, Aeon and Jess’s plan.

A chain of events adding together to lead to the worst situation as possible. Obviously, this was necessary to create conflict and evolve the characters.

Even if a chain of events did lead up to this, the characters did make mistakes.

Adrien

Let me clarify that his mistake wasn’t coming to New York but it was rather not informing Ladybug.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to New York?”

I do understand his situation, it was the first time he was entrusted with a responsibility, and he was so afraid to blow it and disappoint Ladybug.

It’s important to note that he thought he was obliged to stay in Paris. He thought she would be mad if he went to New York because he wasn’t able to carry out his responsibility. He didn’t understand that she wouldn’t be upset for telling her that he wasn’t going to stay in Paris. He was only given the responsibility because he was able to do it due to being in Paris. But if he couldn’t stay in Paris, that wasn’t his fault, and Ladybug would’ve understood that. If he informed her, she simply would’ve found another solution. No anger involved.

This also says a lot about Adrien. He feels obliged to do things and if he can’t do them, he’s expecting disappointment and anger. Wonder were that mentality came from? I’m looking at you, Gabriel.

With that mentality, he felt that informing Ladybug would anger her, because he doesn’t know what freedom tastes like. He’s allowed to have emotions, and he’s not always obliged to do things. As long as he communicates he’s fine. The result of his mistake comes from once again...his sheltered life and trashy parent (not to mention listening to Plagg).

Also, for people saying he doesn’t deserve to be Chat Noir for making a mistake, let me remind you that the whole point of the show is for the characters to learn from their mistakes. If they don’t make mistakes, there’s no development or conflict, and if you’re going to say he didn’t learn enough from his mistake, I’ll say accepting that you’ve made a mistake enough that you feel like you’re unworthy and punish yourself by taking away the one thing that makes you happy is more than enough.

Plagg

People say Plagg should know better. I agree. He should.

But he’s not Tikki. He’s more laidback (cue theories of Plagg having bad owners in the past).

And it’s important that he’s with Adrien because his influence on Adrien encourages him to get out of his shell, have more freedom. That doesn’t always go the right way though.

Like this time. I mean, there was no reason for Plagg to tell Adrien not to inform Ladybug, unless he also expects anger due to being abused by bad owners in the past which also makes him somewhat poor socially. I wonder if he sees a bit of his past self in Adrien. Coming back to track anyhow (save this topic for another time).

Plagg’s laidback nature and yearning for Adrien to have more freedom naturally pushes him to encourage Adrien because he cares.

And for Plagg, he actually gives some pretty useful tips for a backup plan. I mean, he’s a free spirit, I can’t expect him to be all strict and responsible like Tikki. But in all honesty, he seriously needs to take kwami tutoring classes if they exist. Tikki would be willing to offer lol.

Marinette

This one is going to be long. Because I’ve heard a lot of unreasonable claims against Marinette (as usual unfortunately).

Firstly, people think it’s hypocritical of Marinette to tell Chat to take care of Paris, and then blame him for coming, when she shouldn’t have been in New York herself. Like I said, she wasn’t mad at him for coming to New York, she was upset because he came without informing her. And she wanted him to take care of Paris, because he was her partner, and she thought he was going to be there anyways. He could alert her if it came to the worst case scenario, what if she wasn’t able to access her phone, or issues such as time zone differences. It’s obvious that she’d have to travel back whenever there’s an attack as she’s the only one who can purify the akuma and use the cure to fix everything. And saying she shouldn’t have gone in the first place? How else would they have the special? Also, she’s not obliged to stay stuck in Paris either, they can use their space powers or the horse miraculous to travel back anyways.

Second of all, people blame her for being mad at Chat. Saying that she shouldn’t have been mad in the first place. Since Chat is all supporting of her and all...

Well, I say she had every right to be mad.

In her point of view, she does have every right to be mad.

And comparing this situation to Chat being supportive of her when she makes mistakes isn’t fair. Those situations are different.

The most common comparison used is Miracle Queen and it’s not a fair comparison.

The mistakes she made didn’t involve anything that could make him angry. She was honestly torn up about it and communicated.

Over here, Chat didn’t communicate, and she was in a position where she could be angry, because the consequences of his mistake are also her own responsibility.

If he did communicate beforehand (I’ve said this too many times), he would’ve been upset about it, but she wouldn’t have been, she would’ve assured him that he needn’t be upset and she’d think of another backup plan instead.

But he didn’t. In her eyes, he could’ve and didn’t. And she doesn’t know if he would’ve told her. If there wasn’t an attack, she might’ve never found out. How is she supposed to feel about that?

His explanation doesn’t make sense in her eyes. It makes sense to us, the audience, because we know of his sheltered life, we know that he struggles with these kind of things. But she doesn’t. She knows nothing about his background. She doesn’t know his life behind the mask And it’s not her fault. She can only rely on their bond and partnership.

Ladybug: Why didn't you tell me that you were leaving?! Cat Noir: I was afraid you'd get angry!

Look at Ladybug’s perspective for a minute, forget about Adrien’s poor social skills, and really think if his answer was valid.

It doesn’t make sense why he would think she would get angry for telling her. It kinda sounds like he lacks faith in her (which we know is not the case). He hasn’t made a mistake this big before. And the way he reacts about it is that instead of confiding in his partner, he chooses not to tell her and makes decisions without her knowledge behind her back, I mean, how could she not get angry for that? Because they’re both the heroes of Paris. They’re meant to confide each other in things like this, If there’s a problem, they’re meant to communicate so things won’t go wrong.

Ladybug could’ve easily left Paris without telling Chat either. But she didn’t. She told him because he was her partner, and they work together as a team. She expected him to cover for her, and alert her, so she could make her way back to defend the team. But when he comes face-to-face with a problem? One that directly links with him not being able to stay in the city to defend it, he didn’t tell her. Instead, he leaves without her knowledge, and she didn’t know that Paris was left defenseless. Both of them our heroes. It’s both their responsibilities. When she confided in him, he didn’t do the same. And when asked why? All he says is that he was afraid she would get mad at him. That reasoning doesn’t even make sense, and it’s not something she can accept for not confiding in her. It runs deeper than just not informing her, it makes her feel like he’s not reciprocal in their partnership, that he lacks some sort of faith in her, that he thinks she would get mad that easily, and use that as an excuse. Remember, this is the same person who asked him:

“You don’t think I’m as evil as your nightmare, do you?”

Him not confiding in her is a scar to their bond. Not only does it endanger Paris. But it also makes her feel like he doesn’t have faith in her. He didn’t have enough faith in her to tell her that he was leaving. That he could use her getting angry as an excuse.

We know that due to his poor social skills and bad parent, he feels obliged to do things and expects disappointment when he can’t. It wasn’t that he didn’t have faith in her, more that he expects anger and disappointment when he can’t do something, and he was never taught to communicate when he comes across such a situation. And the fact that this was the first time he was given such a huge responsibility by her, and faces a problem, he doesn’t know how she’ll react, so he’ll expect she’ll react in the same way such as “someone we know” because he doesn’t know any better. Since he was never taught that communication is valid in a situation like this, he didn’t understand.

But she doesn’t all that about him. You’re all mixing fanon with canon. She knows barely anything about his personal life. How on earth is she supposed to know that he’s lived most of his life alone and his little experience with people? If she knew that, she probably would’ve reacted differently. But she didn’t. She assumed the first thing that came to mind.

So, maybe the line “I can’t trust you anymore, can I?” was more out of spite than anything else. She was just hurt.

Moreover, after he did accidently cataclysm Aeon, it wasn’t like she was jerky about it. She didn’t blame him after that at all. She said nothing to him. Because she does trust him. She does know that he didn’t mean to do it, and she probably guessed he was feeling guilty. Because unlike his poor social life, he does know that him enough that he’d feel guilty for doing that. I mean, anyone would, honestly. And even when Paris was destroyed, she said nothing to him after that, because she was considerate enough to not push the line, and not add even more to his guilt to what he was feeling. And she definitely felt bad about the whole situation herself.

In a overall, that whole argument was miscommunication and it really shows how troublesome their secret identities can be at times. That it limits what they know about each other and can cause misunderstandings. Since there was so much miscommunication and tension between them, they weren’t able to work together as a team, which lead to them being distracted, and causing the disaster.

This is why it is so important for them to trust and confide in each other. It makes them stronger as a team. And the New York Special definitely made them even more stronger after going through that conflict.

#sugar analyses #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #ml #mlb #miraculous new york #ml new york #ml new york spoilers #miraculous analysis #ml analysis #ladynoir #ml ladynoir #a 2000 word essay about why communication is important #geesh #very long post #but that's not unusual for me

68 notes · View notes

katehuntington · 4 years ago

Text

Title: Ride With Me (part 23) Fandom: Supernatural Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: ±5200 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. Summary part 23: The Flagstaff Horsefair has turned out to be a huge success, but before they go home, an unexpected visitor changes everything. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: Dean’s ride: Time Has No Mercy - The Common Linnets Follow ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me playlist’ on Spotify! Author’s note: Thank you @atc74, and @winchest09 for helping me. Also a special thanks to @jules-1999, who has offered me her knowledge about rodeo events like these, and @squirrelnotsam, who knows Arizona like the back of her hand.

Ride With Me Masterlist

The final day of the Flagstaff Horsefair 2008 is well on its way, the sun beating down on the market stalls and food trucks. Spectators mix with riders and trainers, some having drinks on the terras, others shopping at the tack and clothing stores. Giggling kids are chasing each other on the grass, the younger ones riding stick horses. Dean smiles at the children when they cross in front of him as he walks up towards the picture stand, slowing his step for a moment in order not to collide with the squealing youthful bunch.

By a van with ‘Equestrian Photo’ on the side, he pauses, then moves under the awning. The saleswoman gives out a printed photo to waiting clients on the side, wishing them a good day before she directs her attention to Dean. She greets him with a kind smile which the cowboy returns. Linda knows he doesn’t need help finding the images taken during this event, it’s not the first time the horse trainer has visited the photo stand over the years. Quite a few of the photos hanging on the walls in the Singer’s home and the cafeteria were made by Linda’s boss, the photographer who regularly works horse shows in the region. Ellen usually buys at least one when either he or Jo got on the podium. Dean isn’t interested in purchasing a photo of one of his own rides, though.

He looks up when the red-haired photographer stumbles into the van from the back entrance, one Nikon hanging from a sling, dangling on her hip, and another one on a monopod with a huge zoom lens attached to it resting against her shoulder. Her curls are wild and it’s clear she’s in a hurry, the next class about to start already. “Hi, Dean,” she greets, recognizing the familiar horseman instantly. “Hey.” He nods at her with a smile, his eyes flicking back to the screen. “How’s it going?” “Good. Busy,” she returns, taking out the battery of the cameras skillfully and swapping them for fully charged ones. “But busy is good these days, ain’t it? You had a few good runs, didn’t ya?” “Can’t complain,” he admits, grinning as he thinks about how successful this event has been so far. “Your student gave quite the performance last night,” the photographer smirks, handing Linda the memory card and taking back empty Sandisks to replace them with.

Dean looks up at her over the screen, noticing the mischief in her eyes. The way she just emphasized the word ‘student’ tells him that she knows exactly what’s up. He raises his eyebrows and chuckles, flustered. Looks like just about everyone in the business is up to speed at this point.

“Check out the ones at the bottom of the folder. You can thank me later,” the redhead advises, grabbing a chocolate bar and a bottle of water from the small fridge under the counter before she heads for the back door again. “Gotta run!”

Somewhat confused, Dean watches her head off to the main arena, before he redirects his attention to the display in front of him again. Stills of last night’s highlights pass by, allowing him to relive the amazing moments. The shots of the actual run are great, although he can imagine that Y/N and Meadow aren’t the most difficult pair to shoot. The Quarter mare is very photogenic with her copper coat and broad white blaze. She’s elegant, much like her rider, who has a fantastic seat, which shows, even on a still image.

Curious what the capturer of these images means, the cowboy goes down further, reaching a series of photos that show the seconds right after Y/N finished her freestyle, her arms wrapped around her horse’s neck, hugging her tight. He makes a mental note to pick that one.

There are more of her coming towards the entrance, waving at the crowd, but it’s the next couple of shots that has his jaw fall slack. The photographer must have sprinted to the other side of the tunnel before the horse and rider left the ring, because she managed to document the exact moment when he and his girlfriend embraced, Y/N still in the saddle, his arm around her, the emotional release evident. Jo is holding on to Meadow’s reins on the other side, smiling as she watches her friend and her cousin.

The next photo shows just the two of them, standing in the gateway facing the arena while waiting for the score, followed by a shot of him lifting her off the ground when the realization of the new PR settled in. The final picture has to be his favorite. It’s one of the kiss they shared. The composition of the portrait is astonishing, the spotlights on the showground illuminating the figures in the center, silhouettes against the vibrant arena. His heart grows, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He never thought he would be able to experience what he felt at that moment again, the great magnitude of pride, joy, and love. But this photo brings it all back, and he has to have it.

Still smiling at the warm feeling that has settled in his entire body, Dean scribbles down the file numbers on the order form and hands it to the blonde saleswoman, together with a fifty-dollar-bill. The wrangler bought six in total, one to frame and decorate the wall in the cafeteria, four for his girlfriend. The chosen photos are shots of horse and rider in a sliding stop, of the second right after finishing the test when Y/N threw her arms around Meadow’s neck, and of the precious embrace between him and his girl. He got a double print of the kiss they shared, one for her, one for him.

It’s a picture that he will cherish, come whatever. A picture he wants to be able to look at when he needs to, to remind himself of what he has got going for him. He knows challenging times are coming, with the ranch, with their relationship. Dean is well aware he’s approaching that inevitable turning point when he has to open up further than the lost boy with a dark past is comfortable with. But this photo, a moment forever frozen in time, will be the beacon he needs to find his way home.

Dean takes the envelope with the printed pictures from Linda and heads towards the ring. Jo is due to enter the arena in ten minutes and he wouldn’t want to miss it, for one, because she is going to bust his ass if he’s not there. It sometimes baffles him how his little cousin acts like she can’t stand being around him and yet searches for his approval so often.

He takes out the photo he wants to save for himself together with the one he will add to the cafeteria’s Wall of Fame, and slips them in the inner pocket of his denim jacket before he reaches the foot of the bleachers. With big strides, he conquers the steps, looking left and right in search of his friends once he has made it to the top. He spots Benny and Y/N on one of the higher rows when the farrier lifts his hat off his head and whistles. This barrel race is one of the highlights of the event and the arena is almost filled to full capacity, only a few seats left. Thankfully, his girlfriend saved him a spot.

His smile grows wider when he sees the cowgirl, and deep inside he’s excited to give her the present he just purchased. He can’t wait to witness her reaction. “I got you somethin’,” Dean announces. Intrigued, Y/N pulls her focus away from the competitor currently in the ring and looks at her boyfriend, awaiting. He offers her the envelope, placing his now empty hands on his knees, somewhat nervously. “What’s this?” she wonders, her curiosity peaked. “Open it,” the cowboy urges. She does, carefully folding back the seal flap and taking out the prints. When she turns them over, she lets out a stunned gasp, much to her boyfriend’s delight. “These are amazing!” she says, elated, going through the pictures of her and Meadow slowly.

The last two photos silence her, however, much like they did Dean when he first saw them on the screen. Moved, she takes in the portraits of the strong bond between her and the man that’s sitting next to her. After a few long seconds, she glances aside, meeting his warm eyes. This cowboy with a John Wayne reputation - as Jo so poetically put it - sure has his ways. He might not be very vocal when it comes to his feelings, but that’s alright, because he is able to communicate through different languages. A kiss, a dance, his trust, his support. And now these photos. It’s proof of his adoration for her, and it’s more valid than a signature.

She closes the small gap between them, moving under his hat, and grazes her soft lips over his. Ignoring his Southern friend, who lets out a low chuckle when he notices the lovebirds next to him, the head wrangler closes his eyes and kisses her back. His hand travels into her hair and holds her, making sure she doesn’t go anywhere. He can feel every connection; her featherlight fingertips on his stubble, her cute nose against his, her lashes dusting the freckles from his cheeks. Dean doesn’t need words, but neither does she.

When he slowly pulls away from her, he looks at her lovingly, forgetting time for a moment. It’s only when the commentator announces Jo’s name over the speakers, that they return their attention to the arena. The gate opens and his cousin and her horse Bullet shoot towards the first barrel, the animal doing his name justice. The three wranglers of the Gold Canyon ranch get on their feet, cheering on the blonde cowgirl, who goes through the course in record time. When she clocks a new PR, Y/N bounces on her feet, hugging Dean tight and letting out that laugh that he loves so much.

They don’t notice Benny’s gaze wandering off to the car park behind the bleaches. He has spotted a beige pickup pulling in. Like a hawk, the farrier follows the GMC truck. “We’re going over to Jo to celebrate. Are you coming?” The enthusiastic intern calls for Benny’s attention, and he turns his head to face his best pal’s girlfriend. “In a minute, darlin’,” he says, giving her a smile. “Gonna watch a few more runs.” “Alright, see you in a bit, brother,” Dean chuckles happily, before his girlfriend drags him towards the exit by his hand.

The Southerner watches them leave, then redirects his attention to the beat-up car on the field. A man gets out, his face shielded by a black cowboy hat. His posture seems familiar, he’s not even sure why. Benny narrows his eyes, but the figure is too far away to recognize. Then the frown evens out, his jaw falling slack. Suddenly, it clicks. “No fuckin’ way in hell…” he mumbles to himself.

But there ain’t no way, right? He can’t be here. Before Benny can decide otherwise, he bolts towards the steps to get down from the bleachers, hoping to not lose sight of the guy. He better make sure who just set foot on the showgrounds is exactly who he suspects he is, before he breaks the news to his best friend.

Dean swings the heavy saddle onto Aerosmith’s back, his last horse to compete at this tournament. After this run, all that’s left for him to do is coach Y/N and Joplin for their competition debut, and then they can all pack their gear and go home. Despite that he enjoys horse shows like these, he’s looking forward to his own room, his own bed. He’s looking forward to pulling up the driveway that leads to the place that is his home.

It has been a successful couple of days. With five horses sold and Joplin likely to add to that number, the Flagstaff Horsefair has proven to be very fruitful. Bobby made good money, and the ranch owner will be able to pay his crew, plus pay off some bills. Then there’s the business deal they landed with Fergus MacLeod. The cowboy might not like the Englishman in the slightest, but if they decide to take on Cain’s training, it will provide a much needed steady income. Dean isn’t delusional; he knows the ranch isn't out of the woods just yet, but it’s a start.

Humming and relaxed like he always is before competing, he tightens the cinch of the chestnut Quarter, petting him on the shoulder before he takes him out of the stable. “Good luck, cowboy.” The man who the words are meant for smiles, peeking into the stable next to him and noticing Y/N through the steel bars. She’s preparing Joplin, brushing her tail. Their starting time is only forty-five minutes after Dean’s, since both are competing in the same class. Sadly, she will not be able to see him ride. The mare next to his girlfriend pins her ears back and gives Aero a dirty look when the gelding comes too close for her liking. Both snigger at Joplin’s bitchy behavior.

“You’ll make it back in time to help me warm up, right?” she checks. “I’m kinda nervous, this being my first cutting competition and all.” “Yeah, of course,” he promises, shooting her a wink. “I’ll be there.”

Dean takes his horse outside, the Arizona sun welcoming him with bright light. A force of habit has him check his spurs and the tack before he positions himself on the left side of his horse in order to mount.

“Chief?” Looking over his shoulder, he sees Benny approaching. His strides are hasty, his jaw tensed. He checks if anyone is around before he halts and faces the head wrangler, who can read from the body language alone that something is off. “What is it?” he asks, his brows knitted together. The Southerner’s piercing blue eyes meet his gaze before he continues whispering. “I hate to do this now right before your run, brother, but--” “But what?” Dean urges when the farrier hesitates.

Benny draws in a deep breath and rubs his beard, needing a second to collect himself. He knows that what he is about to tell his best friend will have him shake on his foundations, but he needs to be prepared. He deserves to know who he might run into. The broad-shouldered ranch hand sighs, then delivers the unsettling message. “Your father is here.”

As if he just got struck by lightning, Dean stares at Benny, his eyes wide and mouth agape. The announcement rings in his ears, sounding more surreal every time the four words bounce off the walls inside his head. Reality hits him like a raging bull, however. His father is here. His father is here.

The head wrangler drops his gaze, his eyes flicking over little rocks and lumps of dirt by his feet. Speechless, he takes his hat off and wipes his forehead with his sleeve, realizing he’s sweating. His heart is hammering in his chest, so forceful that it hurts. Panic starts to win terrain, but he pushes it down and nods rigidly, acknowledging Benny’s words.

“Okay,” he returns after a few long seconds. “Thanks for telling me.” “If there’s anythin’--” Benny offers, but is interrupted by the man in front of him, who shoves his left foot into the stirrup and swiftly gets on his horse. “I’m good,” he assures, doing his best to come across as calm and collected.

Benny dips his chin, half accepting Dean’s choice to put this on hold for now. The rider has one last horse to compete, so the Southerner understands why he’s trying to keep his head in the game. He wishes he didn’t have to drop this bomb now, but there’s a chance his friend might run into John on these showgrounds. Benny might not know the entire story of what happened all those years ago, but he knows enough to recognize the impact the presence of Dean’s biological father will have. He watches quietly how the horseman pushes his legs into Aerosmith’s flanks and steers the horse towards the warmup arena without another word.

Suddenly nervous, Dean is highly aware of all the people who cross his path. He briefly studies them, even though recognizing the man who has been absent for over half of his life scares the hell out of him. Why the fuck is he here?

Dean isn’t just afraid of running into his old man; he’s angry. Angry about all the wrong choices that were made, angry about those memories rushing back to him. He stored them in a box and nailed the latch shut. He buried them, dug a hole deep enough to fit all those dark thoughts. He covered the surface with a thick layer of concrete, convinced that all those measures would be enough to lock away what he hoped to never feel again. Hopelessness, frustration, torment, aggression, guilt. But those emotions are now working their way through the cracks, like a weed that just won’t die, working up to the surface and showing its ugly head again.

But what has him exasperated the most, is the timing. Why now? His father hasn’t given a damn for fifteen years, fifteen fucking years, and now that Dean is finally getting to the point of allowing himself to be happy, he decides to show up? His fist clenches on the horn of the saddle, his nails digging into his palm. This isn’t fair!

His insides churn and twist even more when his mind snaps to Y/N. A sudden and heavy uneasiness settles in his chest, almost suffocating him. Shit, what if she runs into him? What if she learns the truth? Dean breathes out a shuddering breath, closing his eyes for a second while tipping his hat down. The panic that has his fingers shaky while he guides his horse into the warmup ring only grows with that thought. No no no, he thinks to himself. He can’t have his father ruin what is supposed to be his love story. He can’t lose this, he can’t lose her.

Preparing for his final ride goes anything but smoothly. The rider is so lost in thought that he accidentally cuts off another competitor and has to hit the brakes, apologizing to the cowgirl for the misstep. It’s a wake-up call, though; he really needs to focus and get his head straight. Aerosmith is one of the horses he and Bobby decided to hold on to a little longer, hoping the economy will be on its way to recovery somewhere next year so that they can make a better profit. Dean brought the younger stallion along to gain experience in the ring, yet he wants this ride to be solid, knowing a potential buyer could be watching.

But when he enters the arena, he can’t help but scan the crowd, suddenly aware that one of those pair of eyes is his father. He thinks of Y/N and how nervous she was last night, and suddenly it makes so much more sense what experiencing that kind of anxiety is like. The rider doesn’t even hear the announcement of his name over the amplifiers, he doesn’t hear Jo and Bobby shouting words of encouragement at him from the sideline. What he does hear is his rapidly beating heart, like a thundering echo of an oncoming storm.

He glances over his horse’s ears at the cattle in front of them. C’mon, Dean, this isn’t difficult. Separate a cow and let Aero do the work. Two and a half minutes and he will be out of the limelight. Who knows, maybe if they pack fast after Y/N’s ride, he won’t even run into his father.

The two herdholders that are in the ring to assist all contestants keep the group of young steers together. Unsettled, Dean swallows thickly and licks his dry lips, his eyes on the clock. When it starts ticking, he moves his hands forward and pushes Aerosmith towards the herd. The game is simple. In two and a half minutes, he has to separate two different heifers from the group and keep the selected cow in the middle of the arena, he and his Quarter the only boundary between the animal and his flock. He and Aero will be judged on degree of difficulty, confidence, and agility, but right now, all Dean is thinking about is surviving.

Deciding to not make it too complicated for his horse and himself, the horseman doesn’t pick a heifer too far into the herd on the first cut. Without disrupting the gathered bunch, the chestnut calmly makes his way through until Dean has decided on a cow, which he then carefully begins to push to the edge. When he has driven the brindle heifer out, Dean drops the reins and allows his Quarter to take the lead. Aerosmith locks on the lonely animal and crouches, skillfully keeping it in the center of the arena.

The crowd cheers, because the talented Quarter shows to be quick on his feet, darting from left and right and accelerating fast when his target tries to get around him. The cowboy keeps his balance, allowing his horse to move under him freely. After a few attempts to get past them, the cow yields and the rider signals Aero to back down. He blows out a breath. One down, one more to go.

The second cut goes according to plan as well. This time he does pick a heifer in the middle of the herd. The Quarterhorse tries not to disturb the rest of the cattle as he separates the one, but splitting the animals is not as clean as the first time. Once the cow is driven to the middle of the ring again, Aerosmith is back in his element and shows off his moves. Dean only has to sit back and let his partner under the saddle do the work, which he’s grateful for, because he feels like he wouldn’t be able to guide his horse in a simple circle if he had to.

The buzzer sounds; his two and a half minutes are up. Relieved, Dean exhales; at least he didn’t completely screw up their run. The young gelding really pulled through despite a nervous wreck of a rider on top of him, which just shows what a fantastic horse he is. “Thanks, bud,” Dean says softly, petting the chestnut on the shoulder.

The applause barely registers and it’s only when his eyes roam over the audience, that he notices the numbers on the board. 72.5 points; not bad. Normally, he would have been elated with a score like that, but now he just wants to get out of the ring as fast as possible, away from possible prying eyes. He feels like he’s being watched, well aware that his father is quite possibly amongst the people in the crowd. Call him a coward, but he needs to get out of here.

“Solid ride, Dean,” Bobby compliments when the rider comes through the gate, walking with him. When his nephew fails to respond, he looks up, narrowing eyes taking him in from under his baseball cap. “You okay, son?”

The troubled rider snaps his head at his uncle. Son. Bobby calls him that all the time and has done so ever since he took the lost boy under his wing all those years ago. Dean has grown accustomed to the title, even found comfort in it, glad to hear that word coming from his surrogate dad. But now the term confuses him. Suddenly, the man who has failed to step up to take care of his children and yet is his only living parent is here, and it is messing with his head in more ways than one. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he says, quickly averting his gaze and walking on.

Bobby lets him go, but Dean can sense the ranch owner watching him carefully. Unable to stop himself from scanning the people around the warm-up area, he briefly acknowledges the congratulations wishes from a few of his opponents with a nod and a ‘thanks’. Normally he’s up for a chat after a good run, but not now. He feels like he’s about to lose his mind, and he wants to be alone when it happens. He needs space, he needs air.

After a few minutes of hacking, Dean reaches the stables, grateful to find them mostly empty. With the last competition currently taking place in the arena, a lot of competitors already packed their trucks and trailers and left throughout the morning and afternoon. At the other end of the tent two people are tacking up, but they are far out of earshot.

In front of Aerosmith’s stable, the rider dismounts and leads the Quarter into his box, making quick work of removing the tack and rinsing the chestnut down. With the saddle on his hip and the bridle in hand, he steps into the storage room. “How did it go?”

Dean startles and almost drops the heavy load he was carrying, spinning around to find Y/N in the doorway. Somehow, it completely slipped his mind that she would still be here. The cowgirl is wearing her show outfit again, but traded her black blouse for a denim one this time. Long chaps hang down from her waist, strapped around her legs, her brass spurs barely showing. Her boots are shining and her hair is braided, her lucky hat only just allowing him to behold the playfulness in her eyes. She looks absolutely perfect.

�� Clueless and carefree, she waits for an answer, but her happy expression falls slightly when she notices his reaction. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” she chuckles, somewhat self-conscious. “What has you on your toes?” The cowboy blinks at her a few times before he kicks into gear again, storing away the saddle in one of the tack boxes. “Nothin’. Yeah, it uh - it went alright. 72.5 points,” he says, smiling at her faintly, quick to dodge her unraveling gaze.

Silence follows and he knows that she’s studying him, but Dean can’t even look at her, not sure how to deal with the worry that he knows is evident on her beautiful face. The second he gets lost in the vision of his girl, he will fall apart, and that’s something the unsettled wrangler can’t allow to happen. He can’t let her see it, she can’t know. So instead, he moves past her through the doorway to fill a feeding net with hay, desperately searching for a way to keep himself busy as he tries to get a hold of himself.

“Dean? Hey…” Her voice sounds so warm and kind, that he can’t ignore her any longer. When he has strung up the net, he turns to his girlfriend, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans. Concerned eyes take him in when he looks up. “You’re shaking,” she notices, gently wrapping her delicate fingers around his forearms. “What’s going on? Did something happen?”

Before she finishes her sentence completely, he’s already shaking his head. It’s more denial than an actual answer, refusing to give in to all the contradicting feelings that are pulling the rug from under his boots. She knows him well enough to see that he’s a total mess right now. His mask is faltering and he’s breaking character, unable to deliver the standard ‘I’m fine’. Can he tell her about the disturbing message Benny delivered earlier? She will have more questions, questions he is nowhere near ready to answer. But then again, he can’t lie to her either, not anymore.

Dean takes a deep breath in order to collect himself and looks at her as heavy footfalls draw his attention. Expecting Benny, he glances over his shoulder, ready to request if his friend can grant them some privacy, when he catches a glimpse of the person standing in the alley between the stables. Every muscle in his body tenses, an invisible fist squeezing his throat shut. His heart - which has been beating unhealthily fast since the alarming news was delivered to him about an hour ago - now seems to come to a full stop for a few solid seconds.

They might be in Arizona, but Dean just froze to the ground, unable to move or speak. All he can do is stare at the man that is his own spitting image, only three decades older. The familiar stranger is wearing a smile on his lips, emotion swimming in weary eyes. After fifteen years of silence, John Winchester stands before his oldest child, a broken voice delivering the words Dean never wished to hear again, and yet missed so dearly.

“Hello, son.”

Well, shit... Enough with the fluff. Angst is here!

Also, did you spot my little Stan Lee moment? Does a certain red-haired photographer seem familiar? Yep, that’s me!

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to like or reblog my work, shoot me a message or buy me coffee (Link to Kofi in bio at the top of the page).

Read part twenty-four here

#Ride With Me #Dean x Reader #Dean x Y/N #Cowboy!Dean #Dean AU #Cowboy!Dean AU #cowboy!dean x reader #cowboy dean #cowboy dean au #Supernatural AU #Dean Winchester AU #Dean Winchester #Supernatural #Dean Winchester fanfiction #Supernatural fanfiction #SPN #SPN fanfiction #Kate Huntington

129 notes · View notes