#the fandom is still relatively small compared to other saw rarepairs

[eastonapologist]

Been following you in your early piranhashipping days and just returned to tumblr to see that their tag have grown so much since I last scrolled through it, your dedication to them is admirable

THANK U FOR STICKING WITH ME!

[ryukoishida]

QZGS Rarepair Week 2018 | Day 6: Apocalypse | In which ZX falls in love with XJX in a world infested with zombies.

QZGS Rarepair Week 2018 | Day 6: apocalypse / reincarnation / nostalgia @qzgsrarepairweek

Title: Yours, Truly Fandom: The King’s Avatar / Quan Zhi Gao Shou Character(s)/Pairing(s): Zheng Xuan/Xu Jingxi (featuring other Blue Rain kids) Summary: He didn’t want that. He’d rather be shot dead by his friends than to wander endlessly as part of the undead, but he couldn’t subject those people to that, either. He wouldn’t. Especially not him — not Xu Jingxi. Rating: PG13 A/N: I love zombies movies so I don’t know why it took me this long to write an actual zombie AU but here we are, friends, here we are.

Writing Commission | Editing & Translation Services

---

i.

“Come on come on over here!”

A young man was avidly waving at him, signaling Zheng Xuan to follow him from around the corner of the dimly-lit alley. The walls were smeared with dried blood and freshly splattered chunks of flesh and organs that some unfortunate souls (he saw mangled body parts scattered on wet concrete as he ran past, but he was literally running for his life and had no time to get grossed out as he usually did) left behind after being torn apart by a hoard of zombies.

Though he could barely see in this darkness, for most of the streetlights had been burned out and many of the buildings’ lights had stopped shining for a long time now, Zheng Xuan could hear them chasing after him from behind: the tell-tale sounds of their low, monotonous groaning and heavy footfalls dragging against concrete.  

In his mind, he could picture all too vividly the hollow milky eyes with no pupils or irises, just the sclera crawling with tiny blood veins, pale expressionless faces, the rigid way they moved their limbs, and old blood coagulated and flaking off of these bodies’ wounds and lacerations that they received from when they were still alive and capable of bleeding.

Those things might have lost their rationality and their lives, yet they were irritatingly insistent when it came to hunting down those rare humans who were still very much alive. Sometimes in the depth of night when his mind couldn’t help but dwindle down to that horrifying stillness where any thought would remain stuck once it snaked its way in, Zheng Xuan wondered whether those zombies — those tainted, infected versions of his family, his friends, classmates, acquaintances, strangers — whether a small part of them would still be able to sense everything their deteriorating bodies were doing, and then he thought about the instinctive, animalistic way they tore through the flesh and bones of people they knew, of people they didn’t.  

A few steps away from the stranger’s outstretched hand, Zheng Xuan had already ignited the tip of his improvised flash bomb made out of a cheap plastic lighter, and counting down in his head as he saw the dark mass of bodies consumed what small amount of light the stars and moon rendered as the hoard of undead crawled over each other in the narrow alleyway, Zheng Xuan threw his weapon as hard as he could towards the writhing swarm when he counted to zero.

A cinnabar-white spark went off as it hit the cheek of one of the zombies up front, and it burst and crackled with small licks of flames as the discharge touched the flammable material of the zombies’ skin and rags of what used to be their clothing. The zombies’ groaning grew into a higher pitch, causing goosebumps to run up Zheng Xuan’s arms when he finally reached the stranger.

Without a second thought, he clasped onto the offered hand and allowed the other man to tighten his hold on him before pulling him along the street and leaving the burning mass of mangling bodies behind them.

“Shit, what the hell was that?!”

There was a hint of laughter — half amused and half thrilled — in the young man’s voice, and though Zheng Xuan couldn’t make out the stranger’s expression — only that he had hair dyed chestnut brown that was gradually fading into a lighter shade — he could almost imagine the friendly warmth in the crooked curve of his lips. It was nice to hear another human being speaking again. It’d been days, maybe weeks, since he’d had any contact with others that Zheng Xuan was starting to talk to inanimate objects whenever he could feel himself losing track of time — one of the only strands of reality he could truly grasp onto in this crazy shit of an apocalyptic world.

“Flash bomb,” Zheng Xuan replied with the smallest hint of a grin. “Well, flash pellet, more like? It’s not going to hold them up for long though.”

But it was long enough for them to make a safe escape.

When they finally arrived at their destination after going through a maze of unlit streets, shadowed alleys, up and down several fire escapes of rundown buildings, and through a tunnel probably not meant for pedestrians, Zheng Xuan was led into what used to be a storage warehouse.

The door slid close behind them, the echo like the bang of a gunshot in the tranquility of the night.

“All clear out there?” one of the men, who didn’t look much older than either of them, asked, topaz eyes especially bright and sharp emphasized by the flickering lights of a small campfire held in a can; he was holding onto a wooden baseball bat streaked with dried blood and looked about ready to smash a zombie in the face if they dared come near him.

The man who brought Zheng Xuan in nodded gravely and finally let go of his hand. Zheng Xuan flexed his fingers, and glanced around at his new surroundings. There were only a few other people in the room, and all of them were staring at the newcomer who might or might not be trying to hide behind his savior to avoid the unwanted attention he was getting from the small crowd.

“Who’s the new kid?” another man sitting closest by the fire asked. He was petting a large German Shepherd that was laying by his feet; it had started growling the moment Zheng Xuan stepped into the vicinity. “It’s okay, Eight Notes, hush.”

“Oh, I guess I haven’t really introduced myself yet either,” the man turned towards Zheng Xuan with a sheepish smile. He offered his hand out again and said, “I’m Xu Jingxi.”

He took his hand for the second time that night, his lips twitching with the slightest hint of a grin, “Zheng Xuan.”

“I’m Li Yuan,” the man with the dog waved his hand as a greeting, “and this here is Eight Notes. He can sense those undead bastards from miles away.” As if to respond to his owner’s praise, Eight Notes snuggled closer to Li Yuan, and he chuckled as he gave his canine companion more pats on the head.

“Song Xiao,” the one sitting beside Li Yuan said, and he gave a friendly wave towards Zheng Xuan as well. He had the kind of warm benevolence in his smile that would cause anyone to put down their guard.

“Huang Shaotian,” the man with the baseball bat introduced himself. His posture was less frightening now that he was certain they were not in any sort of immediate danger, and Zheng Xuan was surprised to find that without the vicious, savage glow in his eyes, Huang Shaotian actually looked quite playful and boyish with an easy smile that was almost too infectious. “Everyone calls me Huang Shao.”

Zheng Xuan nodded.

“I’m Yu Wenzhou,” a gentle voice spoke from behind him, which made Zheng Xuan turned around sharply with a start. He hadn’t even noticed there was another person with them in the room, and Zheng Xuan had learned to be extra observant over the past months since he’d been left on his own, which meant that the man who’d just joined them must either had very little presence or was excellent at concealing himself. He chuckled softly as he took a seat near the campfire, his dark cerulean irises gleaming from the flickering fire light. “Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to give you a fright there.”

“I-It’s fine,” Zheng Xuan released a shaky breath, the adrenaline from being hunted down by a hoard of zombies was gradually draining from his body and he found that he’d really like to lay down and sleep for an entire day, if given the chance. “It’s just… it’s been a hell of a day.”

“I believe ya,” Huang Shaotian piped out.

“You are welcome to stay with us, if you like,” Yu Wenzhou invited him, his voice never demanding, allowing Zheng Xuan to make the final decision.

Zheng Xuan hesitated, but only for a moment as his eyes sought for the most familiar face in this small group of survivors, and Xu Jingxi met his gaze as if he could sense his unease.

Xu Jingxi gave him a soft, encouraging smile, and that was all Zheng Xuan needed.

“You know, I think I will.”

-

ii.

“So, what, are you a doctor before all hell broke loose?” Zheng Xuan asked as he propped himself up onto the dusty counter and let Xu Jingxi rolled up his sleeve to reveal a nasty two-inch-long gash along his left forearm. He’d seen so much gore now that this relatively clean cut was nothing compared to the bloody dismembered body parts or viciously-mutilated flesh he’d seen on others.

They’d just barely escaped another onslaught of attacks from the undead while they were raiding for food and supplies at a large department store. When they passed by a hardware store on their way back, Zheng Xuan suggested that they made a quick pitstop so that he could stock up on some chemicals to construct more makeshift smoke and flame pellets, which had been proved to be very useful during skirmishes against zombies. At worst, the smoke and fire could cause a brief distraction for the group to make a swift escape; at best, however, one small flame pellet could sometimes burn down an entire handful of zombies if they were in close proximity of each other.

What they didn’t expect was a few zombies idling inside the woodworking section of the hardware store, and by the time Huang Shaotian was yelling for them to run while he swung his bat effortlessly at one of the particularly active zombies directly into its gaping jaws and broke off the top half of its skull, the group was escaping through the nearest exit, which turned out to be a broken window that led to a side street.

Zheng Xuan wasn’t particularly athletic back in the days when he didn’t have to run for his life, so while others easily slipped through the window, he was caught by a jagged glass fragment sticking out from the window frame, and by the time they returned to their temporary hiding spot, the sleeve of Zheng Xuan’s sweater was soaked in his own blood.

“First year med student,” Xu Jingxi replied as he carefully wiped away the blood around the wound with a remotely clean cloth and dabbed the cut with some iodine.

Though Xu Jingxi’s movements were as gentle as he could make them, Zheng Xuan still hissed when sharp pain shot up from his wound from the chemical.

“Sorry, sorry,” Xu Jingxi immediately lightened up the pressure, but Zheng Xuan shook his head twice to indicate that he was fine.

“You wanted to become a doctor?” he asked after the pain subsided and Xu Jingxi was wrapping his wound with a roll of sterile bandage, a luxury item at this time since a lot of medical and first aid supplies had been one of the first things that got pillaged at the start of this apocalypse.

“That was the plan,” Xu Jingxi smiled a little wistfully, but there was a hint of bitterness in the curve of his lips, the usual warmth not quite reaching his eyes, which were still concentrated on the task at hand. He tore a small piece of medical tape and placed it where it would keep the bandage in place. “Try not to get it wet or dirty, okay? I’m running low on supplies as is, so I can’t change the bandage daily.”

“Aye, aye,” Zheng Xuan gave a mock salute and sent him a languid grin. “Thanks, Dr. Xu.”

As he packed everything back into his bag, Xu Jingxi asked, “what about you? What did you want to be?”

Zheng Xuan leaned back on his right arm and stared up at the ceiling; the lightbulb pulsed and skittered before it remained still once more, the yellow glow almost too bright for Zheng Xuan to be looking directly at it, and he narrowed his eyes slightly. Shadows of strange shapes danced on the edges of his vision.

“Didn’t really have a plan at the time,” he said. It was odd, Zheng Xuan thought, to talk about the past and the future in this current context, when the past was meaningless and the future was hopeless. They should probably feel more depressed, what with talking about a future that could never be, but being here with Xu Jingxi — with the others in the next room — Zheng Xuan only knew that he was fortunate to have run into this group at the time that he did.

“You like setting stuff on fire,” Xu Jingxi observed with amusement laced within his voice, as if he was secretly laughing at his companion’s hobby, “that’s something.”

Zheng Xuan snorted, “I guess?” and then after a brief pause, he continued, his head lowering to stare at his lap and the week-old dirt and blood that had encrusted onto the fabric of his jeans, “my dad was a pharmacist and my mom was a toxicologist, so I suppose it’d be a given that I ended up majoring in chemistry.”

“Huh,” Xu Jingxi only said. “On the bright side, with the world being the way it is right now, at least you don’t have to worry about what you’d be doing with a chem degree.”

“Such an optimist,” Zheng Xuan chuckled.

“I try,” Xu Jingxi grinned back at him. He shouldered his bag and reached his arm out towards Zheng Xuan, palm facing skyward, like the first time they met, “come on, let’s go back to the others.”

“Sure,” Zheng Xuan took the offered hand but didn’t get down from the counter; instead, he tightened his grasp on that warm, slightly smaller hand, fingertips roughened by callouses, and pulled Xu Jingxi towards himself.

Xu Jingxi wasn’t expecting this at all, and so could only tripped forward and into Zheng Xuan’s chest, his cheeks already tinting with heat from being in such close proximity with the other man. Suddenly, he became all too aware of Zheng Xuan’s presence: his fingers lacing with his own, his breaths ruffling the messy locks on top of his head, the rising and falling of his chest, and his other hand snaking from the length of his neck, tipping his chin up so that there was nowhere Xu Jingxi could look except for Zheng Xuan’s eyes.

With gentle, careful fingers, Zheng Xuan cradled the other man’s jaw.

“Z-Zheng Xuan? What the hell?” Xu Jingxi whispered, obvious panic and something maybe like excitement coloring his voice. He could pull himself out of Zheng Xuan’s embrace — he was sure of it — but he didn’t want to, his feet rooted to the ground, exactly where he wanted them to be.

“I like you, Xu Jingxi,” Zheng Xuan said in that frustratingly calm tenor of his, a light breeze in the stillness of winter, but in the depth of his eyes, Xu Jingxi could see the restlessness, the uncertainty, roiling just beneath the surface. Restless — because he had been struggling with this unfamiliar yet pleasant emotion towards the other man ever since they first met; uncertain — because he didn’t want what they had right now ruined by his hasty confession.

This was a cruel world they were living in now. Any day, one of them could be taken away from the mysterious virus spread amongst humanity and turning them into mindless, man-eating monsters that they despised the most. And when that happened — for neither of them could make any sort of promises in regards to their own life and death — when one of them finally left, or became infected and turned into a zombie…

It looked like Zheng Xuan was going to say more, but words were never his strong suit, and so Xu Jingxi stood on his tip-toe and leaned forward to place a kiss on Zheng Xuan’s lips as a response.

“I like you too, you dummy.”

-

iii.

“Woah, fuck! Watch where you swing that thing, kid!” Huang Shaotian hollered in alarm, the tennis racket just grazing the bottom hem of his sweater as he jumped out of the way just in time, but Lu Hanwen merely turned to him with a cold glare before returning to his original position, standing stiffly with his back straight and his right hand tightly grasping his trustworthy weapon.

He was standing guard by one of the two entrances of their newest hiding spot, with Li Yuan and Eight Note accompanying the youngest and newest addition to their little family.

Turning towards Yu Wenzhou, Huang Shaotian demanded, “say something to him, Wenzhou, or he’s going to get more and more obnoxious.”

Yu Wenzhou shook his head, and wordlessly gestured for his best friend to come over to where the rest of the group was gathered at the back of the office.

“Shaotian, let’s go easy on him, okay? He must have gone through quite a lot, and it must have been hard dealing with this all on his own,” Yu Wenzhou glanced over at the teenager, the slightest hint of worry subtle in the dip of his brows.

“Has he talked to any of you guys?” Song Xiao asked.  

Everyone shook their heads no.

“It looks like being close to Eight Notes really calms him down though,” Yu Wenzhou observed, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall behind him.

Eight Notes the German Shepherd wandered away from its owner and approached the quiet, brooding teen, who ignored the sniffing and snuffling of the canine at first, but after a few minutes of the dog whining and pawing for his attention, Lu Hanwen’s gaze lowered towards Eight Notes, paused for a second, and stooped down to give the dog a hesitant pat on the head. Soon, he abandoned his tennis racquet on the ground and fully indulged in patting Eight Notes’ tummy, the corner of his lips tucking up just a degree.

“He’s nicer to a dog than me!” Huang Shaotian huffed indignantly and began to stalk towards Lu Hanwen, who, at the sound of the blond’s approaching footsteps, gave him another impressive glare.

“I’m going to get my med kit,” Xu Jingxi announced and started for the opposite direction, an amused light dancing in his eyes.

“I’ll come with you,” Zheng Xuan volunteered himself and followed Xu Jingxi closely.

-

iv.

“Ow! Fuck! Xu Jingxi, let go!” Zheng Xuan was trying to pull his right arm out of Xu Jingxi’s persistent clutch. His fingers were like iron caging his forearm, nothing like the gentle touches Zheng Xuan was used to while Xu Jingxi was dressing his wounds or kissing him breathless and caressing him when no one was looking.

“No.”

Xu Jingxi’s usually mellow tone was firm and chipped-ice cold, and Zheng Xuan’s heart trembled at the sound of it, afraid of what that terrifyingly unfamiliar voice would be saying to him once he found out the truth.

It didn’t take him long to realize what the bite mark on Zheng Xuan’s arm really meant; it was smeared with blood and some kind of sticky, black slime often found all over the freshly infected.

“When did this happen?” Xu Jingxi was careful to avoid touching the slime, and he glared up at Zheng Xuan, who turned his head away to avert his gaze. “Zheng Xuan, when!?”

“This morning at the grocery store,” Zheng Xuan said, his voice faint and slightly quivering, “when I was trying to scare away that zombie with the lighter flamethrower. It nipped me before I could burn its stupid face off.”

“You mean when you were doing that goddamn heroic thing?” The sarcasm, sharp and unforgiving like a blade driving deep into his flesh, his heart, was unbecoming on someone like Xu Jingxi, Zheng Xuan thought numbly in his mind, but his face was contorted from the pain and fear and fury, and the rage in his blood was escalating like never before. The words came out before his brain could process it.

“I was trying to save you, damn it!” Zheng Xuan pulled his arm out of Xu Jingxi’s grasp, his breaths heavy and unsteady.

“Who said I needed saving?!” Xu Jingxi shouted back, exhausted, scared. He turned away completely from Zheng Xuan, his back curving inwards, arms wrapping around himself defensively.

“Are you going to tell the others?” Zheng Xuan asked, voice dead quiet. He wouldn’t blame him, honestly. The government had been trying to create an antidote but it’d been almost nine months since the first case of the infection was broadcasted, and there hadn’t been one single case of an infected person being completely healed. There was only one way to go about this. Being bitten meant sooner or later, he would turn into someone — something — unrecognizable from the Zheng Xuan the rest of them had grown to know and care about; the human being known as “Zheng Xuan” on this earth would cease to exist the moment his heart stopped beating and his brain stopped functioning, and he would become nothing but another mindless zombie feeding on others.

He didn’t want that. He’d rather be shot dead by his friends than to wander endlessly as part of the undead, but he couldn’t subject those people to that, either. He wouldn’t.

Especially not him — not Xu Jingxi.

“No,” Xu Jingxi took a deep breath and turned around to face him again, his eyes gleaming with a mixture of determination and unspoken pain as he strode over to where Zheng Xuan was standing and took his hands in his. His grip on him was too much, verging on painful, but Zheng Xuan never wanted to let him go. “We can fix this.”

-

v.

“Zheng Xuan, where are you going?”

In the distance, a dog barked, causing a domino effect of the groaning of zombies attracted and excited by the sound of something alive, but where they were located, nothing was stirring.

“Away,” Zheng Xuan replied in his usual languid tone.

“Why?” Desperation painted Xu Jingxi’s voice a grey monotone.

“You know why,” Zheng Xuan turned abruptly towards him, his heart breaking a little when he saw Xu Jingxi’s reddened eyes, but his own face would not be able to express any kind of emotions soon due to stiffened muscles. He wished Xu Jingxi would just let him go before his transformation was complete, yet more than anything else in the world, he wanted Xu Jingxi to stay by his side always. It was a selfish wish, but Zheng Xuan was only human.

“I have to go before I completely lose myself,” Zheng Xuan said with a faint smile. He must look terrifying, with his blank, milky eyes and pallid skin. Every day, he felt himself sinking deeper into that dark eternal place where he would never be able to claw his way back out, and he feared for his friends, for each day he stayed with them was another day he was endangering their lives.

Li Yuan, who’d lost Eight Notes to a hoard of especially vicious zombies just a few weeks ago, but remained optimistic for everyone’s sake; Song Xiao, who’d treated him with nothing but kindness; Lu Hanwen, who was still far too young to be witnessing and experiencing the brutal reality of this changed world but had become a lot more sociable and open with the others; Huang Shaotian, who, despite his impulsive nature and tendency to talk people’s ears off, was the most reliable and powerful protector the group could ask for; and Yu Wenzhou, who was considerate as he was resourceful and cunningly smart, the perfect leader.

And then there was Xu Jingxi. Zheng Xuan didn’t even know where to start.

He didn’t want this — them — to end.  

“Then take me with you,” Xu Jingxi said, casual as if he wasn’t asking for a certain suicide, because both of them know that if he chose to stay with Zheng Xuan in this state, it would mean definite death to them both.

“There’s no way in hell—”

“Take me with you, Zheng Xuan,” Xu Jingxi was already taking large strides towards him. He reached for his shoulders and fiercely pulled the taller man towards himself, not allowing him to run away anymore, one hand winding to the back of Zheng Xuan’s head to tug him down for a kiss… or, he tried.

Zheng Xuan was struggling, turning his head away adamantly so that all Xu Jingxi’s mouth could reach was his cheek and jaw. His skin already felt a few degrees colder than a normal human’s and much dryer, like fragile rice paper of an aged painting. This didn’t deter him at all though.

“Jingxi… Xu Jingxi, don’t. I’m disgusting, I—” Zheng Xuan let out a reluctant breathy sigh as he felt Xu Jingxi’s lips ghosting over his ears, teeth grazing down the length of his neck, and tongue tracing wet patterns on his skin. His hands, which had been attempting to push Xu Jingxi off of himself, had lost their strength. He could never resist Xu Jingxi when he got like this. He was still getting intoxicated by the sensation of Xu Jingxi kissing the sensitive spot between his neck and shoulder when he felt a sharp twinge of pain: teeth sinking into his flesh — his infected flesh.

“You…” Zheng Xuan’s reverie was ripped apart by the agonizing realization, the finality of what Xu Jingxi had just done. He dragged the other man off his body and with utter disbelief in his milky eyes, Zheng Xuan saw that Xu Jingxi’s mouth and chin were covered with blood and the black slime that seeped out of undead corpses. The fluid trickling out of the bite mark was about half-maroon and half-black right now, but when the transformation was complete, Zheng Xuan’s body would be filled with this mysterious ink-black fluid that had tainted and ended the rest of the world.

And now, by biting his flesh and swallowing his infected blood, Xu Jingxi, too, would follow the same path — side-by-side, hand-in-hand.

“You fucking idiot…” Zheng Xuan couldn’t even raise his voice, because his heart was too heavy and full with love and grief as they spilled forth like paint over paper. His vison was blurred as he reached up to wipe away the blood and fluid off of Xu Jingxi’s lips, but there was nothing else he could do now, and he felt tears rolling down his cheeks, hot and thick like fresh blood, the scent of decay catching the tail of autumn before winter truly took over.  

“But I’m your fucking idiot, right?” Xu Jingxi smiled at him, eyes twinkling in the darkness of the night, like stars beyond the impenetrable clouds — unseen, but here, in the sky and in their hearts.

---

A/N: It’s been awhile since I’ve written angst. But uh, at least they’re together?