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EXCUSE MEā š±
Commissioned by @oddberryshortcake for @cozymochi of their TWST OC!
#YOUāRE SPREADING WHAT NOW#its you#you were doing t#ššš SHE REALLY SAID IM GOING TO SPREAD UNAUTHORIZED PROPAGANDA#Memes on oddberry aside OP DREW THE#DREW THEM BOTH SO PRETTY šš#even got tias dimples lets freakingā#is that a freaking patf refereā [crumbles down the stairs]#IF THE OTHER FRESHMEN ARENT HELPING I HOPE THEY ARE#and you oddberry the fact u used ur own hard earned funds for this. you are commitedā¦/positive#i love it I LOVE HOW THEY LOOK
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ive always wondered if milsiril's overprotectiveness of kabru was less because of infantilisation (although she def like all elves has that problem) and more so out of guilt. she was a captain of the canaries during the Utaya incident I believe and she witnessed what happened and she couldn't stop it. and she left the canaries because of it and took in the kid who was the Only survivor, raised him in extreme comfort so he'd never see the horrors again and didn't want him anywhere near the dungeons! like i think learning self defense for defenses sake would have made her hesitant but she would have obliged but because it was specifically for the dungeons she was so against it. also like he must have had a rough few years dealing with that trauma as well which doubled her protectiveness
I believe it's a mixture of both, I don't think you can really take away the guilt (actually unsure if that's the best word to describe it) nor the race relations from how Milsiril sees Kabru.
I am the Milsiril apologist ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ but the fact she see's Kabru as a child even now is a big part of their relationship, she's a mother that can't grow up (both for being an elf and for her own issues) and that has to cope with her children outgrowing her fast
Putting a read more cause as usual when it's about Milsiril I talk too much
We can see in every way Milsiril acts that she sees Kabru at most as a toddler during his time with her, she's hand feeding him, has him in a room full of toys and talks about him like he's a cute baby.
I think people are too mean about this side of Milsiril tbh. I think it makes her interesting and it's clear (to me at least) that she does her best to provide for her children even if she doesn't truly understands them. Even in that first interaction with Kabru where she's trying to hand feed him they were *already* training with swords beforehand.
Milsiril also talks to Kabru in a way that kinda seems to expect him to understand more than what a small child would like we can see in the AB extra
So her infantilization doesn't extend to underestimating him at least, rather I think that's how she shows affection (which is still bad š)
Anyway, about her trauma with the dungeon and guilt (or maybe shame? Fear?), I do think that was one of the motivations for her to take Kabru in as I said in this post (beware I am a Milsiril apologist and I am VERY biased in seeing her in a more positive light, doesn't mean it's true) but I think that side of her manifests in her sudden switches from crybaby mom to ruthless master
Milsiril is very emotionally unstable from what we can see, she's really trying to convince Kabru not to go into dungeons and when tears don't work she switches into training him so hard he'll give up on his own. I've seen people call this her "true colors" or say she was using "crocodile tears" but in my opnion both the tears and the threat are genuine, I don't think it's a planned switch but rather the fact she's unstable to begin with, both the crybaby mom and the scary swords master are her true self.
Anyway! I think both guilt and infantilization are intertwined in her love towards Kabru, I've said this before but she's a flawed caretaker in a world where she does not have the resources to become a better one. She's traumatized she's depressed and she's an elf, but she's the only one (that we know) willing to at least *try* to treat the people she cares for the correct way. If it wasn't for Milsiril Kabru would have been raised by elves like Rin was (and we know that went very bad, they traumatized her), and Mithrun might not have received the proper rehab he needed to go back into the canaries (He might have managed but we see Milsiril put in the effort to help him cope besides being the one to tell him about Utaya)
That is all to say: Milsiril is still flawed!! It's part of what I love about her, and it's the reason so many people dislike her too. I'm saying this cause sometimes when I go on my Milsiril rants I get asks putting down Kabru to raise her up and that's like, very uncomfortable lmao. Even if she did her best he still was the one that to deal with all of her shortfallings while being raised and he's still the one responsible for getting to where he is, she just made is easier than it could have been.
Disclaimer as is usual for my Milsiril posts: I'm a Milsiril fan, my interpretations of her are very charitable because I often see people being way too uncharitable about her. Please read the original material and make up your own interpretation, this posts only contain what I think it's relevant for my point not an objective view of the whole. I've also already made several posts about her and I don't want to keep repeating myself so if you think I glossed over something important that's probably why.
Edit: thinking more about it, maybe rather than feeling guilty herself she might blame "elves" as a whole for the failure in Utaya, it does say she left it "in disgust". It's not that clear how she feels about it.
I still think it's shared trauma though, I don't think it's possible for Milsiril to not have been affected by what happened there and I think it's part of why she doesn't want Kabru to go to dungeons again. But her way to cope is to turn away from it (and blaming "elves" might be part of how she copes) while Kabru's is to face it so it doesn't happen again
#Milsiril#dunmeshi thoughts#dungeon meshi spoilers#putting an extra disclaimer this time cause sometimes I feel like people are reading dungeon meshi thru my blog
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through the smoke
Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman
Summary: Amelie, returning to the F1 scene at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, is forced to confront the past sheās been trying to escape. Old tensions resurface as her friends push her into the afterparty scene.
Wordcount: 1.6 k
Warnings: none
full masterlist // request over here!
November 20th, 2024 - Yas Island, Abu Dhabi
liked by lnnation, f1wagsgossip, and others
f1gossippage: Amelie has entered the chat! šāØ Spotted arriving at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix today, looking like an absolute icon as always. šļøš„ The paddock just got a whole lot more glamorous ā whoās ready for the drama and the vibes she always brings? š
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formula1fanatic88: NO WAY, AMELIE IS BACK IN THE PADDOCK. Itās been over a year, yāall. šāØ ā paddockqueen22: @formula1fanatic88 The paddock hasnāt felt the same without her. She brings the energy. š©š„ ā lanmelfan69: @formula1fanatic88 Tell me Landoās shaking in his race suit rn. š
mexicangirlboss07: Amelie really said, āIām gonna remind everyone who the real queen of the paddock is.ā šš
amelie4eva: The fact sheās back after so longā¦ Iām not crying, you are. š„¹š ā f1dramaqueen: @amelie4eva WEāVE WAITED FOR THIS MOMENT. The paddock missed the chaos. šāØ
landoiscrying_14: LMAO imagine Amelie and Lando running into each other today. The tension. š«£š„ ā ameliefanatic99: @landoiscrying_14 Someone better have cameras on them 24/7. I need the tea. ā ā paparazziwannabe: @ameliefanatic99 Netflix is shakingātheyāre gonna need a whole episode for this. š
dramaoverload69: WAIT, does this mean Lando and Amelie might interact today?? My soul isnāt ready. š©
paddockhater01: Why is she back tho? We donāt need her here stirring shit up. š
ameliefan88: ICONIC RETURN. The paddock hasnāt been ready for her comeback, but WE ARE. š„š ā f1fangirl21: @ameliefan88 They thought they could survive without her, but no one does it like Amelie. š
āØ
amelie_stan_93: Omg, Iām literally screaming. Amelie and Lando havenāt interacted sinceā¦ ā futbolgossip4ever: @amelie_stan_93 The way they used to be best friends though. All that tension is still there. š©
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Amelie tossed her heels onto the carpet and collapsed face-first onto the plush hotel bed. The adrenaline from the weekend was finally fading, leaving her with a cocktail of exhaustion and emptiness. She hated how returning to the F1 world had stirred up so many old memoriesāand old wounds.
There was a knock at her door. Soft at first. Then louder. Then relentless banging.
āAmelie! Open up!ā Georgeās unmistakable voice called, accompanied by the sound of Alexās exaggerated groan.
āCome on, Am!ā Alex added. āYouāre not hiding in here all night. The gangās back togetherādonāt ruin the vibe!ā
Amelie groaned into her pillow. The last thing she wanted to do was go to an afterparty, especially knowing who else would be there.
āGo away!ā she shouted, but her voice was muffled by the duvet sheād pulled over her head.
āNope,ā George shot back. āWeāre not leaving until you let us in!ā
The banging continued until Amelie caved. She dragged herself off the bed and opened the door, her glare meeting two very determinedāand slightly smugāfaces.
āYouāre both children,ā she muttered, stepping aside to let them in.
āAnd youāre boring,ā George quipped, flopping onto her bed like he owned the place. Alex followed, sprawling out dramatically.
āYouāre not getting out of this,ā Alex said, propping himself up on an elbow. āItās been forever since weļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ve all been together. Youāre coming to the party, even if we have to drag you there kicking and screaming.ā
Amelie crossed her arms, glaring at them both. āWhy do you two care so much?ā
āBecause,ā George said, grinning, āthis is the first time in ages the gangās back together. And because youāve been sulking all weekend, and weāre not letting you wallow.ā
āIām not wallowing,ā Amelie shot back defensively.
āSure youāre not,ā Alex said, smirking. āNow go get dressed. Something hot. Youāve got, like, five minutes.ā
With a resigned sigh, Amelie grabbed her makeup bag and stomped into the bathroom. āYouāre both insufferable!ā she shouted through the door.
āWe know!ā George called back, unbothered.
As she touched up her makeup and changed into a sleek black dress, she couldnāt help but feel a twinge of excitementādespite herself. Maybe it wouldnāt be so bad. Maybe she could survive one night without thinking about him.
Amelie emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later, her makeup flawless and her dress hugging her figure in all the right places. George and Alex, who had made themselves far too comfortable lounging on her bed, wolf-whistled in unison.
āThere she is!ā George declared, dramatically clutching his chest like heād been struck by Cupidās arrow. āAmelie, you look stunning. If I werenāt already spoken forā¦ā
āYouād still be shit out of luck,ā Alex interrupted, grinning. āBut seriously, you look great.ā
Amelie rolled her eyes but couldnāt suppress the small smile tugging at her lips. āAlright, letās get this over with. The sooner we get there, the sooner I can leave.ā
George hopped off the bed, clapping his hands. āThatās the spirit! Letās go, party queen!ā
They piled into a car and headed to the afterparty. The night air was crisp, the city lights of Abu Dhabi glinting like a promise of trouble. Amelie leaned her head against the window, letting George and Alexās chatter fade into the background. She could do this. Just one night. She didnāt have to talk to himāor even look at him.
When they arrived at the venue, the music was already pulsing through the walls, the heavy bass reverberating in her chest. The room was packed with familiar facesādrivers, team members, and a handful of celebrities who always seemed to pop up at these events. George and Alex led the way, weaving through the crowd with ease, while Amelie trailed behind, clutching a glass of champagne someone had handed her on the way in.
The party was in full swing, and Amelie tried her best to blend into the chaos, sipping her champagne and nodding politely at the occasional greeting. It wasnāt long before George and Alex dragged her toward the center of the action, their infectious energy impossible to ignore.
āCome on, Amelie! Dance a little!ā Alex shouted over the music, already swaying with exaggerated moves.
She rolled her eyes but couldnāt help laughing. āYou look like a dad at a wedding!ā
āAnd youāre the grumpy aunt!ā he shot back, grabbing her hand and twirling her. George joined in, the three of them creating their own little dance circle. For a moment, Amelie allowed herself to forgetāforget the tension, the memories, and the lingering ache in her chest. She was here, surrounded by friends, and it felt good.
Then she saw him.
Lando was perched behind the DJ booth, his hands on the turntables, headphones around his neck. He looked... different. His hair was slightly messier, like heād run his fingers through it a thousand times. His jawline was sharper, his smile more confident. The Lando she remembered had always been boyishly handsome, but this version of himāolder, more self-assuredāwas undeniably striking.
Amelie froze, her breath catching in her throat. She hadnāt been this close to him in over a year, and seeing him now, she hated how her heart reacted. She quickly turned away, focusing on the champagne glass in her hand as if it held all the answers.
āHey, you okay?ā George asked, noticing her sudden shift.
āYeah,ā she lied, forcing a smile. āI just need another drink.ā
She slipped away before he could press further, weaving through the crowd to the bar. As she downed a vodka soda, she couldnāt shake the image of Lando from her mind. It wasnāt fair. He wasnāt supposed to look like thatālike heād spent the last year thriving while sheād been trying to piece herself back together.
Hours passed, and Amelie found herself leaning heavily on the buzz of alcohol to dull her nerves. She danced with Alex and George, laughed at their terrible jokes, and even posed for a few photos with other drivers. But no matter how much she tried to distract herself, her eyes kept wandering back to the DJ booth.
Lando was no longer there.
Her stomach twisted in frustration. She shouldnāt care where he was or what he was doing. But the alcohol had a way of softening her defenses, and despite every ounce of her willpower, she found herself scanning the room for him.
It didnāt take long to find him.
He was in the middle of the dance floor, his arms wrapped around a blonde girl who looked like sheād stepped out of a modeling campaign. Lando was laughing, his signature smile brighter than the neon lights flashing around him. The girl pressed herself against him, her hands sliding over his shoulders, and Amelieās chest tightened as she watched them move together.
She told herself to look away. To go find George or Alex or anyone else who could distract her. But her feet were rooted to the spot, her eyes glued to the scene unfolding before her.
Lando caught her gaze.
It was briefāa flicker of recognition in his eyes as he noticed her standing on the edge of the room. His smile faltered for half a second before shifting into something else entirely. A challenge. A dare.
Amelieās breath hitched as his gaze lingered on her, bold and unrelenting. He knew she was watching. And he didnāt look away.
Instead, he leaned down and kissed the girl.
Amelieās heart plummeted. The kiss wasnāt soft or hesitant. It was deliberate, meant to be seen. Meant for her to see.
Her hand tightened around her glass, the cold condensation biting into her skin as a rush of anger bubbled to the surface. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, the telltale signs of too much alcohol and too many emotions she couldnāt control.
āFucking Lando,ā she muttered under her breath, downing the rest of her drink in one go. The vodka burned, but it was nothing compared to the sting in her chest.
Amelie turned on her heel, determined to put as much distance between herself and the dance floor as possible. The air inside the venue suddenly felt suffocating, the bass of the music pounding in her chest like a cruel reminder of everything she was trying to forget.
She made her way to the bar again, hoping another drink might help drown the mess of emotions swirling in her head. But as she leaned against the counter, waiting for the bartender to notice her, George appeared at her side.
āThere you are,ā he said, his voice tinged with concern. āYou disappeared on us.ā
āIām fine,ā Amelie replied quickly, too quickly. She didnāt meet his eyes, focusing instead on the bartender as she ordered another vodka soda.
George wasnāt convinced. āAm, whatās going on? Youāve been off all night. And donāt say youāre fine, because I know youāre not.ā
āI donāt want to talk about it,ā she said, her voice sharper than she intended.
She forced a smile back, though it didnāt quite reach her eyes. āLetās just go dance.ā
George didnāt argue. Together, they rejoined Alex on the dance floor, throwing themselves into the music with reckless abandon. Amelie danced like she was trying to outrun her thoughts, her movements wild and unrestrained. For a while, it worked. She laughed, spun, and lost herself in the rhythm, surrounded by friends who cared about her.
But no matter how much she tried to ignore it, she couldnāt shake the weight of Landoās gaze. Every so often, sheād glance across the room and find his eyes on her, his expression unreadable. It was like a game neither of them wanted to admit they were playingāa dance of avoidance and confrontation, fueled by unresolved feelings and too much alcohol.
By the end of the night, Amelie was exhaustedānot just physically but emotionally. She stumbled out of the venue with George and Alex, their laughter ringing in her ears as they helped her into a car. As they drove back to the hotel, she leaned her head against the cool glass of the window, her thoughts a tangled mess.
Lando Norris was trouble. He always had been. And no matter how much time passed, no matter how much she tried to move on, he had a way of getting under her skin like no one else could.
But tonight had reminded her of one thing: she couldnāt let him win. Not again.
#f1 fluff#lando norris#lando norris fluff#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#lando norris fanfic#f1#f1 smau#formula 1#lando fluff#lando x you#f1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula one#singer#sabrina carpenter#lando norris x singer!#lando#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x oc#lando x singer!#f1 imagine#short n sweet#short n sweet tour#sabrinasource#sabrina carpenter edit#lando imagine#lando fanfic#ln4
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āWe know he wonātā
We indeed know he wonāt. š Thanks for agreeing, reddit milkfan.
(In case you missed what I imply here, itās about the fact that he wonāt find another girl cause Will isnāt a girl)
But I would like to take this opportunity to encourage everyone here who uses tiktok to knock some sense into tiktok bylers. They do not need to go commenting āI think byler is so cute but I feel so bad for El šā under every byler edit. Weāre feeling bad for El now that sheās (probably) still trapped in that forced romantic relationship with Mike. We wonāt feel bad for El once sheās free and happy and seeing her brother and friend happy making her even more happy!
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Melinda and demetrius: splitting and dissociation (part 2)
I was talking in the first part here about Melinda and her splitting episodes. In this part I will talk about the oldest son demetrius.
There's no lie in the fact his appearance was surprising, but also everyone knew that he didn't seem right.
But also he's very mysterious and understanding him is quite a challenge with the very little context we have of him. So let's dive into his character a little.
The unfocused look, very intimidating look, and eyebags under his eyes. Hell yeah, he got freaking 6 stellas and didn't even seem happy about it. He just looked very tired and just wanted to go to rest.
Damian and the rest of the gang approached him, and damian went to congratulate him of his achievement. But it seems that Demetrius looked very intimidating to him so he started to stutter. Demetrius took the lead of the conversation and asked him about his Stella (which indicates that Demetrius is actually looking at the progress Damian does academically, which is the most important aspect of demetrius's life). Normally when asked this type of question, it's normal to say "yeah how did you know?" "Yeah what do you think?". But not damian (my little child seems to struggle)š, he instantly jumped into "how do you think father would think?" ,which is wrong in different aspects, firstly demetrius is the one who asked about his academics, so it felt very disrespectful to do that. Secondly , knowing how Damian gets annoyed with the girls in his class asking constantly about his father (and he's the second son with less remarkable achievements), I'm sure that Demetrius himself has even worse share in this experience, he doesn't even seem to have friends because he feels in different league, and people either intimidated by him or try to use him to get to his father. Lastly, it's their second time talking to each other in school, and damian still asked him in the same matter (about their father) which really gives an impression that he has nothing to ask about but this. But of course Damian didn't mean that, he's a little child who is trying to reach his family, Demetrius himself seems to have also problems with reaching out to others.
But even then he didn't get mad, even in his mind, he didn't get annoyed at damian, he just swayed away keeping his boundaries without any addition, something that neither Melinda nor Donovan did (imo he still got judged wildly). With one struggling with her emotions and splitting episodes, and deadbeat neglectful dad. Which made me believe that he is the one who has higher chances with having a stable relationship with damian. I talked more about this here but to summarise, demetrius is quite surprisingly patient with damian at most times. Considering their parents and his age too.
Now into his interesting mind, in chapter 93, anya tried reading his mind but got nothing at first, and the things she got was he (I don't understand) questions.
This hit very different seeing chapter 110, when Melinda said Donovan can read mind and even demetrius had been saying that.
A lot of people drew to the conclusion that Demetrius has this habit of blocking his mind since he knew his father can read mind, he restricted himself to not have any thoughts at all, which is very painful to think about, making your child anxious to this point is really a new low truly, donovan.
There had been questions about how this is even achievable, a state of blanked mind of barely any thoughts, Mr green talked a little about it when he was with damian and his friends. But let me explain this more.
What is demetrius doing is very similar to something called "dissociation", it's a state of complete stillness of thoughts, flowing through the stress, you can say it's like putting your mind in an autopilot mode. It's a coping mechanism many people do in response to stress and trauma, and its severity changes from one person to another.
Now it seems very peaceful coping mechanism, but it's a hell itself, it's like getting into a deep hole with, the more you get deeper, the more difficult it's to get out of it. The more time you spend doing it, the more it's hard to keep up with your life and tasks.
I'm pretty sure that if Demetrius had been doing it from a very young age, it means he definitely is having difficulty in keeping his thoughts flowing, and that he is not voluntary and completely controls his mind.
Now, what could happen if someone is dissociating excessively? It leads to many mental disorders and problems. The most insightful of them are (dissociative disorders). The three main disorders are (ranked with severity from lower to higher)
1-Depersonalization/ derealization disorder.
2-dissociative amnesia.
3- dissociative identity disorder (aka called multiple personality disorder in the past but the medical term changed)
Now I'm very sure with the amount of excessive dissociation demetrius expressed (and even indicate he started doing it very early). I'm sure he has derealization disorder, he's very out of touch with himself and feels very separated from his reality ,which is a perfect description of this disorder. I wouldn't be surprised if he had dissociative amnesia, like I wouldn't be surprised if he said he doesn't really remember having dinner with his family in chapter 106 (he really was out of touch and just eating his food, not giving care to the tension felt in that time).
(until now he didn't show any signs of being a system or having DID)
I'm sure he also has different mental struggles other than dissociation, but this one is the clearest one. Him and Melinda showed very clear signs of mental health struggles, I tried to analyse that, I hope that they both heal and get the help they need.
#demetrius desmond#spy x family#damian desmond#donovan desmond#melinda desmond#writing about this is very important to me as someone who struggles with dissociation and maldative dreaming myself#it's not very excessive like his but I felt very relatable to him#because he wasn't showing signs of distress people assumed he is fine... he is just āroboticā#which is not the case#sxf#spy x family manga
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Hope you have a praise kink baby because you has gotten a lot here today ā¤ļøš
you looked up and into his blue eyes. At that moment, you were convinced there was no better way to wake up. You could imagine looking into his eyes in a tiny apartment close to the hospital; coffee filling your nostrils as the beans were rung of their juices and into the cup heād be sure to bring to your bedside, because heās just that kind of a guy. - aghh this is actually the dream she is so me fake scenarios in your head even before you are dating haha
had spent your last thirty bucks on the dress, hopeful it would make a good impression. All that you knew about him was that he was a doctor ā you didnāt know where or even what his name was, you just hoped he wasnāt an asshole like the last three had been. You were lonely and ready to find your person; your fertility clock ticking away by the day. You were supposed to fall in love in college and get married and do all the things that youāre supposed to do when that happens. But, instead, some dumb boy named Storm had broken your heart freshman year and you hadnāt let anyone in since. What kind of a person names their son Storm, anyways? Though you thought maybe they knew the Storm heād turn into ā maybe they knew who heād become. You shouldāve taken it as an omen; for him, for your life, for the way the 18 wheeler collided with your car, for the way the blood soaked the pale blue satin of your dress, and for the way the first time you locked eyes with Rafe you knew you loved him.Ā - I feel like when you highlight the whole text in your text book bc everything seems important when I read this bc I want to comment on everything. First take: You write like an angel this is beautiful, the storm part how you use the word in different ways and it makes so much sense and it is so beautiful! Take 2: I see myself so much in her omg the love she can give but heartbreak makes everything so complicated, why not me and should I give up? One more first date and they are never good anyway š and take 3 omg yes we are in love with rafe he is a baby boy and yes please I need him
āOf course it is, you know I gotta take care of my girl.āĀ - AGHHH THIS OMG and her favorite foods, he knows her and agh that is everything
āSweet girl, if thereās anyone you can trust ā itās him.āĀ Ā - Jenny is amazing and yes you can trust him ofc, and they are going out agh. And the whole rafe will kill me haha love it
He says, your chin still between his fingers, his thumb moving up to stroke your plump bottom limp. You look at him doe-eyed, struck with wonder at the fact that heās saying it to you and not to some other beautiful girl, one more deserving of the kind of love that he has to offer. Heās so pretty, you think. Pretty eyes, pretty smile ā pretty boy ā your mind spouts out at your gazing.Ā - Them omg stop, this is everything!!
āGood girl. You ready?āĀ - touchĆ© yes now we are reaching for my praise kink instead š«£
Today, weāre a girl and a guy at a museum. I know the contents of your medical chart, but I want to know what makes you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts, y/n. I want to know you. So, Iām gonna walk away for five minutes and when I come back, weāre going to start over, yeah?āĀ - he is the absolute sweetest omg the way he is just perfect and need to know everything about her šš
just you and the man you were falling in love with. Together.Ā - ššš
Baby this chapter was everything I dreamed off, amazing and as always painfully beautifully written š«¶š¼ you are the brightest star and I am so privileged to be your friend ā¤ļø
blue eyes + bruises - part six
āÆ pairing:
doctor!rafe cameron x fem!reader
āÆ summary:
a tragic car accident looks like it'll be the end for you, but dr. cameron is here to make sure that doesn't happen.
āÆ warnings:
mature themes, mentions of anxiety, nostalgia, and fear, car accident, death of a spouse (not rafe or y/n), major surgery, injuries, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, etc.
āÆ a/n:
nothing!! please don't engage if you have a hard time with any of these topics <3 this was origianlly posted on my old blog @/illicitfixations, @/lovelornanonymity back in 2021/2022 and i have rewritten + reshared it here :)
ā
Rafeās soft hand tracing the freckles on your cheek is what woke you and as you stirred, wincing, as the first of the morningās pain hit your senses, you looked up and into his blue eyes. At that moment, you were convinced there was no better way to wake up. You could imagine looking into his eyes in a tiny apartment close to the hospital; coffee filling your nostrils as the beans were rung of their juices and into the cup heād be sure to bring to your bedside, because heās just that kind of a guy. Those daydreams had been keeping you going lately, imagining a life outside of what you were living now ā outside of hospital filled days and pain and the unattainable doctor at your bedside. You had been starting your mornings with blue eyes a lot lately, which was the main constant between your daydreams and your reality ā those days ā the blue-eyed days, always let you put your best foot forward and you were thankful that today was one of those days.Ā
āGood morning, pretty girl.āĀ
He spoke softly, careful not to startle you as you were still gaining your bearings from the slumber you were woken from.Ā
āHi.āĀ
You spoke suggestively, your morning voice poking through, unsure of how sexy he found you as you sat upright in the hospital bed. You winced again.Ā
āEasy, tiger.āĀ
He chastised you softly, pushing your shoulders back against the soft pillows.Ā
āHere, let me.āĀ
He spoke, reassuring you with a smile. You gingerly nodded as he grabbed the bedās remote control and brought the top half to an upright position.Ā
āWhat would I do without you?āĀ
You questioned playfully again. Jenni snickered from behind Rafe, watching as you shamelessly flirted with him, you had made that your full time job and you hoped he didnāt mind. You werenāt stupid enough to think he meant the nicknames and sweet words, even though it all felt real, you were sure it wasnāt. The truth was, you didnāt believe in love, even if it came in the form of Rafe Cameron, who you were sure had much better prospects than some girl he met for the first time in the emergency room. You thought about the night of your accident often ā so much so that it was consuming your being; some days it was all you thought about and this morning, while you woke up to those pretty blue eyes, was no different. The thoughts were consuming you in the same way that Molly consumed him. You closed your eyes for a brief moment, drowning out the sound of Jenni and Rafe chatting amongst you about the day's plans. You loved them, but you couldnāt bring yourself to care when all you could see as your rows of eyelashes collided was the pale blue dress that clung to your body as you looked in the mirror one last time before heading out the door. Another blind date. You had spent your last thirty bucks on the dress, hopeful it would make a good impression. All that you knew about him was that he was a doctor ā you didnāt know where or even what his name was, you just hoped he wasnāt an asshole like the last three had been. You were lonely and ready to find your person; your fertility clock ticking away by the day. You were supposed to fall in love in college and get married and do all the things that youāre supposed to do when that happens. But, instead, some dumb boy named Storm had broken your heart freshman year and you hadnāt let anyone in since. What kind of a person names their son Storm, anyways? Though you thought maybe they knew the Storm heād turn into ā maybe they knew who heād become. You shouldāve taken it as an omen; for him, for your life, for the way the 18 wheeler collided with your car, for the way the blood soaked the pale blue satin of your dress, and for the way the first time you locked eyes with Rafe you knew you loved him.Ā
āEarth to y/n!ā
You heard Rafe chuckle as he waved his hand in front of your face. Your eyes were closed, but you felt the wind against your face as he moved it back and forth. Your eyes flew open and you forced a smile; he could tell.Ā
āSorry, I was thinking.āĀ
You replied softly.Ā
āWhat were you thinking about, sweetheart? Is everything okay? Are you in pain?āĀ
His brows furrowed in concern. One thing you admired about Rafe is that he always wanted to make sure you were okay. He was selfless and kind; a golden retriever in human form and you loved that about him. You knew those qualities made him a good doctor and moreso, a good person, a good man.Ā
āIām fine, I promise. I just got lost in my thoughts. I feel a little weird today, lots of emotions, yāknow?āĀ
You replied, giving him a genuine smile this time. He always brought them out of you ā by simply just being.Ā
āWill it make you feel better if I tell you I brought you breakfast and that you and I are going to go on a little field trip?āĀ
He looked at you with bright eyes, eagerly anticipating your response and as the joy laced your features, he knew heād do anything to watch that in slow motion over and over again.Ā
āIs it my favorite?!āĀ
You squealed in question and excitement, already knowing the answer. āHe remembers things about meā, you thought.
āOf course it is, you know I gotta take care of my girl.āĀ
He said, placing the chicken and mayo biscuit on the tray table in front of you. You looked down at the orange and brown Biscuit Co. wrapping paper it was covered in. Ever since Rafe had found out that you loved it as much as him, he made it his mission to bring you one at least once a week. He deemed it a treat for your progress in treatment. The words that had just come out of his mouth hit you in the same way your body flying through the windshield of your car had. The assault on all your senses made you freeze and your only response was the blush that filled your cheeks and a soft smile.Ā
His girl? Is that what you were to him ā were you his girl? Or, would he be just like everyone else if you were too close to him.Ā
āNow, eat up ā Big day today, sweet girl.āĀ
He said, smiling at you ā the Rafe Cameron one ā the one you couldnāt get enough of.
āWhatās so special about today?ā Ā
You questioned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.Ā
āToday is your first day out of the hospital with me.āĀ
He said sweetly, rubbing your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You frowned, anxiety filled you. He knew you well enough now to know it would trigger your fight or flight response ā hence the biscuit.Ā
āDonāt worry, sweet girl. Iāll be there the whole time ā we got this. Itāll be fun. You deserve some fun, donāt you think?āĀ
āI-I donāt know, Rafe.āĀ
You muttered.Ā
āYou do. Now, eat up and Iāll go get everything ready for us to go. Jenny is gonna help you get dressed okay? I had her get some clothes for you.āĀ
He promised in return, a wink meeting your gaze before he kissed your cheek and disappeared from the room as quickly as he had entered.Ā
āHeās a sneaky little fucker, isnāt he?āĀ
Jenny blurted out, erupting in a belly laugh and suddenly there were crinkles beside your lashes as your smile met your eyes.Ā
āThat, he is ā but, you know what heās up to, donāt you?āĀ
You questioned her, squinting your eyes in her direction.Ā
āI donāt know a thing!āĀ
She gasped, feigning shock as she placed her hand against her chest like you had shattered her heart. You could only laugh at her antics.Ā
āOkay, but, seriously ā is this okay? Can I trust him?ā
You asked.Ā
āSweet girl, if thereās anyone you can trust ā itās him.āĀ Ā
Jenny replied, a sweet smile on her face. Your heart clenched at her words and you nodded shyly in response.Ā
She moved around you to the chair adjacent to your bed where a pile of clothes lay waiting for you, quickly gathering them up in her hands before walking around the bed again and helping you lean forward. You aided her as best as you could with your left leg locked straight by the brace it was confined to. She started by reaching behind your neck as she helped you lean forward and gently untying the hospital gown that was draped over your top half. Her hands worked quickly and before you knew it, she was helping you into a bra and placing a UNC sweatshirt over your head. It was oversized and large, accommodating the injuries to your abdomen well. They were healing, but you wouldnāt be back to normal for a while. Jenni continued her work, tenderly removing the straps of the brace and lifting your leg out of it, taking the shorts that Rafe had provided for you and placing each of your ankles before she slid them up your legs as you sat there.Ā
āOkay, sweet girl. Iām gonna put the brace back on and then I'll help you upright so we can pull your pants up.āĀ
She spoke sweetly, encouraging you along the way. She knew how humiliating this was for people, she was no stranger to the reality of that. She worked as fast as she could, buckling you back into your prison before turning your body and letting your legs lower to the floor.Ā
āPut your hands on my shoulders and donāt touch your injured leg to the ground, okay? Rafe will kill me otherwise.āĀ
She joked, but you did as she said and watched in adoration as she manhandled you and helped you stand only on your healthy leg while she pulled your pants up around your hips.Ā
āAll done!āĀ
She beamed emphatically at her hard work coming to fruition and just as the words left her lips Rafe entered the room.Ā
āYou ready, sweet girl?āĀ
Ā He questioned and you smiled kindly in response, giving him a slight nod.
āĀ
Rafe had packed you safely in the backseat of his truck and heād gone above and beyond, really. Though, you were sure maybe it was just the doctor in him that had you currently seated in luxury; your back leaned up against the back driverās side door, a very fluffy pillow well above the regular hospital grade ones you were used to created a barrier between you, the window, and the plastic door handle. Your legs were laying straight out in front of you, the left one elevated by the same brand of fluffy pillow that your back leaned against. Rafe had thought of everything it seemed, you made a mental note of that as you watched your ice machine pump cool water onto the top of your knee.Ā
āHow are you feeling back there, pretty girl?āĀ
He asked, turning down the radio and locking eyes with you in the rearview mirror. You gave him a soft smile, though the gravity of this being your first time in a vehicle since your accident weighed heavy on you.Ā
āA little overwhelmed.āĀ
You responded meekly and his eyes softened even more than their usual pouty, puppy-dog-like state, though you didn't even think that was possible prior to this moment.Ā
āI know, sweetheart. Can you make it three more minutes? Weāre about to pull in.āĀ
He questioned you and you nodded in return, giving him a kind smile. Though he noticed it didnāt meet your eyes. Exactly three minutes and thirty-seven seconds later Rafe opened the door on the passenger side of the backseat. Your legs are met with the crisp autumn air and for the first time you realize that though itās only been a few weeks since your accident, the world outside of your hospital room seems to be going on without you, without a second thought about you. Rafe can see how nervous you are in the murky waters of your eyes, so he does what he does best ā he provides a distraction. Thatās what he hopes this day will be. He hopes this day will give you a tiny fraction of the joy you deserve to feel. Heās only seen glimpses up close, but he knows how special you are. He knows youāre too good for him and far too good for this world.Ā
āHello beautiful!āĀ
He greets you emphatically and you smile wide at him.Ā
āHi, again.āĀ
You giggle in response.Ā
āSit tight, I'll get you out in just a sec.āĀ
He says and you nod, watching him through the small window at the rear of the truck as he lifts the wheelchair from the bed of it and returns to your line of sight again.Ā
āYou ready, pretty girl?āĀ
He asks and you nod, scooting toward him with the small amount of muscle on your right side thatās still able to help you in your movements.Ā
āYouāre doing so good, sweetheart.āĀ
He coos, coaching you until youāve slid your bottom to the middle of the bench of the back seat. Your breathing is labored when youāve reached this point and his eyes soften at the sight. Youāre trying so hard and youāre stronger than he could ever be, mentally and emotionally. So, again, he does what he does best ā this time, swooping in to aid you.Ā
āThatās good, you did so good. Let me do the rest, yeah?āĀ
You nod in response to his question, though you know that itās not really a question and that when it boils down to it, he wouldāve done it anyways. His torso leans in to the inside of the truck and he places one hand under your knees and one around your shoulders.Ā
āPut your hands around my neck, okay?āĀ
He commands softly and you give him the reassurance heās looking for with a nod. Before you know it, youāre airborne, leaning your head onto his shoulder for the brief moment before he places you down into the wheelchair. He kneeled down, adjusting the leg rest so your injured leg could sit comfortably, grabbing the pillow from the car and placing it underneath your injured limb. He stood and you smiled at him.Ā
āThank you, Rafe. Youāre kinder than I deserve.āĀ
You muttered, eyes casting down to where your hands rested on your legs. You were surprised as his thumb and forefinger met your chin, pulling your eyes toward his.Ā
āOne of these days, I'll prove to you that you deserve far more than I can give.āĀ
He says, your chin still between his fingers, his thumb moving up to stroke your plump bottom limp. You look at him doe-eyed, struck with wonder at the fact that heās saying it to you and not to some other beautiful girl, one more deserving of the kind of love that he has to offer. Heās so pretty, you think. Pretty eyes, pretty smile ā pretty boy ā your mind spouts out at your gazing.Ā
āLetās have a good day, yeah?āĀ
He asks, bringing you back to earth. Your breath is caught in your throat, so you only manage a nod in response to him.Ā
āAlmost forgot.āĀ
He said smiling, leaning into the passenger seat of his truck and grabbing a blanket before placing it over your legs and closing the doors of his vehicle. You were thankful.Ā
āĀ
The surprise couldnāt have been better, in fact, youāre glad you hadnāt known prior to this moment that Rafe had scored two tickets for a tour at a museum youād only dreamt of seeing in person; the metropolitan museum of art. Youād meant to go so many times since you moved to New York, but sadly between your busy schedule as a teacher and your inability to time manage, youād never made it. But, this ā now, youād managed it with a hunky boy at your side. You felt like you were dreaming as Rafe pushed you up the handicapped ramp. You admired the columns at the front of the entrance, its architecture something youād seen photographs of for so many years, yet now, you realized they were truly larger than life, larger than youād ever imagined. It made you feel uniquely human to gawk at the stone as it stood and as you smiled to yourself in reverence and awe at this day just as it began, Rafe knew he had done the right thing by bringing you here. You needed this ā you needed joy.Ā
Youād made it through admission quickly, the foyer of the building as beautiful as you had dreamed of. There were people bustling all around you as Rafe pushed you even further and further into the room. Your senses were almost lost underneath the bucket of chaos, but you looked up and for the first time saw the beautiful architecture of the foyer ceiling. It was something that again, youād seen hundreds of photos of, but the beauty of seeing it in person was truly overwhelming. You were jolted from the thought as Rafe parked your wheelchair near the center of the room where a giant plant played the role of a centerpiece and benches sat just below it. He locked the wheels before kneeling in front of you.Ā
āHowās your leg feeling, sweetheart? Do you need any medicine before we get started?āĀ
He questioned, removing the blanket from your left leg to take a look at the swelling himself.Ā
āThe pain isnāt bad, I think the ice helped on the way over.āĀ
You spoke, giving him a hopeful smile.Ā
āHow about some ibuprofen, then? Just to keep the swelling down.āĀ
He questioned, his doctor mind working in overdrive even outside of the hospital to ensure your safety.Ā
āOkay.āĀ
You agreed, accepting the pills from his hand as he reached into the bag Jenny packed that lay draped across the bars of your chair and pulled out a water bottle for you to swallow it down with. You swallowed them smoothly, watching as Rafe gave your leg one more once over and fluffed the pillow it sat on before covering you with the blanket once again.Ā
āGood girl. You ready?āĀ
He asked, his smile meeting his eyes in excitement and you nodded, hoping youād never forget what he looked like when he did that. When all this was over and you were no longer under his care, you hoped youād never forget that smile.Ā
ā
Rafe pushed your chair forward into the first exhibit in your path, Van Goghās Cypresses, with a map of the museum in his hand. It was quiet between the two of you, uncertainty looming in the air of what the day would bring, if youād let the other in. You didnāt make much of it, observing your surroundings as you were rolled forward. Youād heard about this exhibit coming to the museum in the form of an email newsletter from the met and youād thought about coming so many times, but again, time got away from you. You were sure never to let that happen again once you were healed and the initial fear of living dissipated just as you knew it would. Your eyes traced over the painting; the stark contrast of the evergreen trees the exhibit was based around paired with the night sky sent chills down your spine.Ā
āDo you know what Van Gogh found so remarkable about the cypress trees?āĀ
You finally questioned him, breaking the silence as he parked your chair in front of a giant painting. Your eyes traced over it; the stark contrast of the evergreen trees the exhibit was based around paired with the night sky sent chills down your spine.Ā
āWhy donāt you tell me?āĀ
He smirked, locking your wheels and kneeling down beside you, seeing it through your lens. He wanted to see everything through your lens. He looked to you with a pure smile, one you were sure that only he was capable of and you arenāt sure but you felt immense peace.Ā
āWell, he found the trees beautiful and eternal and ethereal and much like most artists do, he looked to other art. But, noticed that no one had captured them quite the way he saw them. So, he set out on a mission to do it himself.āĀ
He smiled at your analysis, knowing that your years of reading and teaching mustāve led you to this conclusion.Ā
āI didnāt know that, thank you for teaching me something new.āĀ
He replied and as sweet as his words were, you couldnāt help the shrill of embarrassment crawl up your spine, its force so strong, your body seemed to curl into itself where you sat.Ā
āHey, whatās wrong?āĀ
He asked, afraid you were in more pain than you were letting on. For a brief moment, he wondered if this outing was a mistake, if he was hurting you, rather than helping you for his own selfish motives.Ā
āNothing, I'm sorry if I sounded like a know-it-all. I have a bad habit of doing that. Iām sure you know lots about Van Gogh, you have a fucking medical degree for crying out loud.āĀ
You stuttered out quickly and he couldnāt help but smile at how flustered youād become.Ā
āHey ā look at me.āĀ
His voice is soft as he commands your attention and you follow his instructions.Ā
āI might have a medical degree, but I don't know everything. In fact, thereās a lot I donāt fucking know ā like an absurd amount. If it doesnāt have to do with bones or a joint, itās actually quite foreign to me.āĀ
He uttered, watching as your eyes moved back and forth over his face, like you were committing it to memory. Little did he know, you were.Ā
āListen to me. You and I, weāre both separate people with faults and quirks. We met by the brutality of the universe, right? I want you to forget about all of that. Today, I want you to forget about the accident, forget about our relationship, forget about the hospital. Today, weāre a girl and a guy at a museum. I know the contents of your medical chart, but I want to know what makes you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts, y/n. I want to know you. So, Iām gonna walk away for five minutes and when I come back, weāre going to start over, yeah?āĀ
His words made a lump form in your throat, its width as big as a beach ball.Ā
āYeah.ā
You whispered in response. You didnāt hear Rafe walk away but you knew that he had by the quiet amidst you in a room full of chatting people. The next thing that gave him away was the fact that his presence gave you a warmth that you couldnāt describe and in the short stent that he was away from you, you longed for it. You wondered if heād come back at all.Ā
āSo, do you come here often?āĀ
Your favorite voice boomed over your shoulder.Ā
āU-Uh no, itās actually my first time. You?āĀ
You replied, a smile hiding behind your plump lips.Ā
āI come about once a year. Canāt say Iāve ever seen the likes of your beauty here, though.āĀ
He spoke and you giggled at the cheesy one-liner that he pulled out of his docket. For the first time since heād returned you met his blue eyes.Ā
āAre your pick-up lines that bad with everyone or am I getting special treatment?ā
You asked him, chuckling. He wore a sly grin at your giggle. It was the first time heād really seen you laugh and he was sure that he wanted it to keep happening ā for forever.Ā
āYouāre getting celebrity treatment. I pulled that one from the deluxe package.āĀ
You laugh boisterously in unison.Ā
āSo ā very cheesy stranger, can I ask who you are?āĀ
You questioned him.Ā
āThatās a loaded question, pretty girl. But, here goes nothing. Iām the guy who smiles when it rains, thunderstorms help me sleep. Libraries are my safe haven. I went to college at UNC and moved here with my college sweetheart. My favorite author is John Steinbeck. Iām a doctor, I came from a broken home, my sister is my best friend, I hate anchovies, and I broke my hip in a motorcycle accident when I was fifteen.āĀ
He replied.Ā
āYou had me at the anchovies. Nice to meet you, very-cute stranger boy. Iām y/n and I feel like I've known you my whole life.āĀ
The words you uttered were like music to his ears.Ā
āTell me, y/n, who are you?āĀ
He asks and your mouth tips up in a smirk.Ā
āI'll tell you what, show me around your favorite places here and I'll tell you everything you want to know.āĀ
You said with a smirk.Ā
āNegotiator and briber. I love it. You got yourself a deal, beautiful girl.ā
He replied, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead, pushing your chair away from the Van Gogh exhibit and into the direction of art that was unknown to you. You were sure that no matter what, you never wanted to forget this moment, this purity, this bliss ā no hospital rooms or surgeries or medicine, just you and the man you were falling in love with. Together.Ā
āĀ
taglist:
as always, if you'd like to be added to or removed from the taglist, please shoot me an ask or comment on this post so i can keep track <3
@maybankslover @inthelibrarybtw @luvrcndy @silkylovey @yagirlwrites @obxbabygirl @rafeecameronsbitch @klutzy-kay24 @roseczbalt @akobx @allsmilesreally7 @wtfdudesblog @urdreamgirl12 @hockeybabe87 @sereneera @annaconscience @pogueprincesa @bibissparkles @obxbigsis @jjmaybankmylovee
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The book Iām reading right now has horses andā¦ -deep breath- I donāt think this writer has had much practical experience with horses.
I havenāt either so Iām hardly one to talk but.
A BLM mustang wouldnāt be sold as a stallion. Theyāre gelded pretty quickly after being caught so unless this dude got this horse right away somehow before it was sold properly, it wouldnāt still be a stallion.
I guess I canāt say this for certain, but I donāt think itās actually very practical for every horse (when you have 10+) to have its own grooming supplies. They say itās to avoid potentially spreading infection but thatās only a fear with new horses so when quarantining new horses, yes they need a different set of supplies but then really you just need two or three sets. Not 10+.
I know some people do start riding their BLM mustangs very quickly. Usually after using harsh training methods. But even then, I donāt think anyone in their right mind would go in a casual trail ride on that mustang with the future mother of their child alongside them. Thatās dangerous.
Related: I also donāt think youād take that mustang on a trail ride alongside a horse it hasnāt been introduced to yet (as far as I can tell). Just a lot of moving very fast with a horse that was in the wild just two or three weeks ago.
Also, and maybe this is just me not having a lot of practical horse experience, but I donāt think horses in general are prone to licking people. Some are, for sure. But this book has pretty much every horse we meet licking everybody. Horses generally are more prone to mouthing with their lips and nibbling. Absolutely some can be very licky but thatās usually a quirk not a given. But again, maybe Iām wrong.
-sigh- Carrots. The classic horse treat. But in reality, carrots are very rarely given to horses. Generally horses are given man made treats instead.
Hay isnāt whatās used for stall bedding. Itās straw. Iād let this slide because the book is first person from a city girlās point of view so she wouldnāt know the difference. But I donāt think itās the character that doesnāt know. I think itās the author.
Overall this just feels written by someone who has a basic idea of horses but no real experience. Which again, same. I havenāt touched a horse since I was twelve. So Iām not likeā¦ criticizing the fact that this kidnapping dubcon erotica isnāt 100% spot on accurate when it comes to horses. But I gotta get all this off my chest lol.
I am enjoying this book despite what these complaints may lead you to believe. Itās very up my alley. So up my alley that in fact I have been writing something extremely similar. Iām hoping this will help me get my motivation back for the project. I havenāt touched it in months. š
The horses were a major surprise lol. I had no idea it was going to be so horse centric.
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cannot stop thinking about an AU where Bucky gets the same treatment as Steve (ie. serumed and vitarayed.)
So he shoots up to 6' 8" or something ridiculous and is built like a brick shithouse. To everyone else he's almost Too Big, but to Steve it's just like being small again while Bucky is ...Large, and Steve is permanently flustered about it. š³š„ŗ
#bucky: hey stevie you're not unnerved by how big I am now are ya?#steve: *sweating* n- nO#bucky: *casually leaning giant forearm on steve's shoulder* hey is your asthma coming back??#steve: *panting/wheezing* I'M FINE š„µ#bucky: heheh I'm so big now I bet I could pick you up and spin you around like we used to-#steve: bUCK PLS š#bucky barnes#steve rogers#stucky#fic idea#see also: ppl meeting giant bucky and being like 'oh they called those toys bucky BEARS? šØ yh. yh makes sense'#bucky being self-conscious about his new size finding a dance class full of other non-skinny/average ppl to blend in#(discovering he is now catnip to dancers who want to be made to look teeny & delicate and also flung about like hula-hoops)#steve's extreme protectiveness of bucky being IN NO WAY diminished...#...by the fact that bucky is now a head taller and wider than steve in every direction#alpine looks like a tiny fluffy kitten in his giant hands and ppl are like '???' when she comes closer and is a full grown maine coon#bucky volunteering to test extra-stretchy pants designs for bruce for when he hulks out#being like 'damnit I ripped them right up the crotch again these ones are a wash out' while steve is like 'ohhh nooo. that is. terrible.' š
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Yugo: āSo yeah, in the end I no longer have my child body, I defeated and accepted my alter egos who have been ruining and messing around with the world, I saved Nora with some friends, I told our mother to leave if she wasnāt going to do anything, I became king of the eliatropes once again, and I got married to my childhood friend/crush which is why we got a last name now-ā
Yugoās old incarnations: āWE GOT LAID?!?!??ā
#i have this huge hdc that if Yugo could communicate with his past incarnations the only thing theyād latch on to#is the fact that they got married lol#past yugo was definitely someone who couldnāt stop moving and was absolutely dedicated to adventure#it would be such a wild fact if they learned that they got married in one of their lives#they have like no experience in dating whatsoever lol#theyād act like kids around Yugo who donāt know how marriage works#āis she hot?? does she like adventure?! is she into life-threatening situations?!?? what about her family? do they like us?! TELL US!!#the first yugo incarnation is crying right now lol#āā¦is she into old bearded men too by any chanceā¦? ššš#wakfu#ankama#krosmoz#wakfu yugo#wakfu season 4#wakfu s4#yugo#yugo wakfu#yumalia#wakfu yumalia#wakfu yugo x amalia#yugo x amalia#yugo the eliatrope#king yugo#yugo sheran sharm
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Careful, Ranma, her patience is running out. ā You littleāā ā Clenched fist raised up, a warning ( the only one he'll get ). BREATHE, he's simply provoking you on purpose. ā Nop, not THAT. ā Will be if he keeps talking though. Her fist finally lowers while her gaze shifts in a newly obtained shyness. ā It's about P - CHAN. . . I know he tends to run away for days but it's been a month now. . . ā Could it be . . . that something happened to him ? !
ā Help? ā¦Whatād you need help with? ā he asked curiously, his shoulders lowering from their defensive position, before going right back up when a dreadful thought crossed his mind. ā If itās about taste-testing your cooking, Iām out, by the way. No offense, but if I had a death wish thereād be a million much less painful ways to do it. ā
#2isms#š Ā· v. main verse : don't you dare make me wild like you ! āāā ` Ā° .#the fact that she's used to it by now š#her patience has truly grown thanks to him and the constant shenanigans#at least im glad the remake is just in a few months. been dying for new ranma content OOOF
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I need more fanfics where Annabeth is tall but still lets Percy take care of herš
#why the tall Annabeth erasure#tall girls deserve it too#bc all of the ones Iāve read so far were of her being the āmasculineā one#which is fine but like you HAD to state that sheās tall and correlate the two of those traits#and not to be overly sensitive but Iāve been insecure about my height since forever bc I always felt less feminine then the short girls#so whenever I see fics where Annabeth is described as āpetite and feminine to Percyās tall masculineā it makes me die a little inside#u less youāre just describing Leah#she is short thatās just a fact#but when youāre specifically using book Annabeth and then go out of your way to describe her āslim and short figureā#and then relate that to her femininityā¦#itās fine it really is Iām just insecure so Iām gonna shut up now#and probably delete this post in a little while#this is just a moment of weakness#bc whenever I do find fics where Annabeth is talkānot even taller than Percy just tallā she takes on the more ātoughā role compared to when-#sheās described as short#and that kinda hurt a bit bc us tall girls deserve to be taken care of too#š#just a thought#annabeth chase#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#tall annabeth chase#hoo#heroes of olympus#percabeth
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not-yet-dead-person
silly comic of a conversation in-game i thought was too funny not to make something proper for instead of a doodle ww
(timelapse + wip images (thus silly process commentary in read more if you like artist commentary :3)
i think the sketch looks silly and goofy and funny so i find it important to share with you the mere presence of the faces i drew on it. i drew it on top of the boxes without staying inside its borders because i find my proportions can get wonky if i draw them cropped in a restricted space. and I feel trapped otherwise and i will draw BAD!!! give me spaceeeee to go wild!!!!
the head circles are there for emotional support
very low res speedpaint because truth is the canvas was much bigger than the space where my comic was placed. i didnt account when exporting my timelapse in 720px that that tiny space would look so pixelated ... but it's able to be percieved, so its okay.
(i will now comment on my process and it is not brief sorry)
usually i would try to clean up my sketches and figure out what goes on top before jumping into linework, but since there are multiple panels and drawings i chose to jump into inking right away for the sake of brevity. i just went in with a brush that uses pen pressure and drew what was needed. i added extra line thickness and contrast in areas around the face because it helps direct your eyes there more easily that way.
according to her equipment rei has a chain belt but i only remembered it existed once I was going to color, and i did not like that discovery... I chose to ignore it to maintain my peace. i already have the color palettes for these characters figured out, and i didnt really want to think about a new element at the moment www I tend to overthink those things a lot so i skipped it
the rest is rather straightforward! not that anything else wasn't, but in here i could turn my brain off and sing. linework and sketching require mumbling so i cannot turn my brain off. just block in the characters with a solid color so i can have a mask (something along those lines,) where the color can stay inside. then just color in !!!
Base colors just had slight cell shading on the skin, and for the hair i airbrush a bit of the skincolor in low opacity near the forehead... I'm not sure what it means, but i can look at the faces easier with it somehow. i like the gentle subtlety it adds even if you cant really tell. it makes things look nice.
background was just me blocking in the color of the wall and floor, shade the wall a bit, then slap a noise and free use wood texture on top. work smarter not harder ! yet it took a bit to make it look stylistically fitting with the characters, and even now i think bottom middle panel looks odd. whatever!!!
for the middle panel i thought itd be funny if the background was a solid silly and colorful one to contrast the next panel's sketchy black one. a contrast to how the word widow is seen. on that note my handwritting is not pointy. i gaslighted my hand into thinking that it was indeed pointy in that moment so i could write "not-yet dead person" in letters that didn't seem cute. my hand did not fall for it but it complied anyway
that's basically it! I'm not sure what else i could say that doesn't feel barebones because it really is that straightforward. if you're curious I used clip studio paint for this. only special brush used was for linework (a brush named Lemon Brush), the rest used were just the default. my computer gets the least credit. it was trying to convince me a 20mb file was going to nuke it all the time and hardly let me save multiple times so i do not appreciate it
#re:kinder#fanart#sayaka re:kinder#rei re:kinder#OH I ALREADY RAMBLED IN MY POST WHATEVER SHOULD I TALK ABOUT NOW IN MY TAGS UEEEEEEEššš#oh yeah do you want to know a fun fact about this drawing#i started it yesterday. i wasnt meant to I DID NOT HAVE PERMISSION...FROM MYSELF... i was meant to be on break#i self imposed a one week break from doing any rekinder related project after the transcript to avoid accidental burn out#NOT THAT I GOT TIRED OF IT AFTER THAT TRANSCRIPT NOT AT ALL#but jumping straight into more hours of creativr work after over 30 hours of it is asking for disaster. it is asking for burn out#yesterday was the last day . 12 hours were left but i was going to die if i didnt draw anything it would have been OVER#(aka my period started recently so i got very gloomy and depressed so i needed to run to my favorite stress relief...drawing rekinderāŗļø)#(on that note seriously what the fuck please explain the evolutionary advantage to getting horribly depressed every month)#(like hello?!?! rant real quickā i get enough flashbacks everyday i DONT need them to last longer and have me more msierable ?!?!?)#(periods are so dangerous to my mental health for no reason can i get a restriction order on them or some shit what the fuck)#(anyway thats enough of that break of character DONEEEE :3333)#SO YEAH I DIDNT EVEN LAST 7 WHOLE DAYS i even played a new game in between those 6 days youd think itd het my mind of rekinder. WRONNNNGGG#not even another devastating rpg horror gamr could divert my attention for long i hsd to draw rekinderš#using the newfound power of mt transcript i was decided on drawing rei because i dont draw her enough for how high she is on my fvaorites#i was initially doodling random lines but then i stumbled upon this interactkon and it doesnt really fit into my usual expression sheets#so i thought hey lets do it asife#i thumbnailrd it and from there i was like hey lets do it in comic format isntead of separated messy doodles in tint canvas#and the rest is hisotry .... aka i spent the last two days doing this instead of doing MY HOMEWORK!!!!!#on my defense when i wasnt drawing i was horribly depressed i had no other choice#(seriously fuck off periods WHAT what do you mean i need to be distracted 24/7 to not be struck by crippling meltdowns LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?)#(they should be banned we as a society should find like a . cure to them it dont do me good to have a whole week where i cant function)#these tags have been more of a weird rant im sorry IVE BEEN FEELING PEEEVEDDD LATELY SO YOU GET. STRANGE DROTTER LORE ????
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Magneto would love lumpia meanwhile Charles would have his Bibingka and Puto Bungbong hehe
Happy Holidays!
asks that remind me my bitchass friend kayla promised to make me *puto two years ago and she still hasnt
*puto is a filipino rice cake i do know it also means 'bitch' in spanish we do not have to address that thank you
#snap chats#'snap is the disclaimer necessary' every single time i mention 'puto' i get people clutching their pearls yes it is necessary vjAVKJ#LIKE I GET IT. CAN WE TALK ABOUT RICE CAKES NOW im hungry ...#kayla always gets beef from me but esp with puto and i only mention this when it was promised two years ago#cause SHE will always bring it up like 'oh yeah i still have to make you puto' bitch just forget it ive made it three times since then š#PUTO ISNT EVEN HARD TO MAKE LEGITIMATELY YOU JUST MAKE THE BATTER AND PUT IT IN THE SHIT AND STEAM IT#add a slice of cheddar on top if youre feeling especially nasty .... its so good .... anyway ..... rice cake ... i love it ...#i havent had bibingka in so long tho im PISSED. you know what else is really good tho cassava cake .. thats not rice but. lol#i never get to have filipino food on account of my mom hating cooking anything that isnt tiramisu knock offs#she really doesnt make filipino food she hasnt for years. my dad always does tho ..... whatever ....#i could always cook it myself of course. yeah... im lazy ill admit it you got me š#oh my god no you know whats great for the winter tinola I LOVE. chicken tinola so much#funny enough i learned how to make it when i was in the hospital from a filipino girl š„° we did not speak anymore after that interaction.#Also funny my fam and i were just talking about getting lumpia for christmas since theres like one (1) filipino place vaguely near us#'you guys dont make it??' on account of the fact im too lazy to make wrappers and no store near us sells any no <3#i did make lumpia myself once tho when we Did have wrappers after drivign out an hour to an asian market once#not to brag but they were pretty delicious ..... anyway ..#oh my god fuck me theres this like. speaking of rice cakes again JALKJKALJ theres this one with this delicious coconut sauce#BIKO IT'S BIKO its literally glutinous rice steamed in banana leaf with latik. UGH SOOO yummy ..... i dont have banana leaves anymore tho :#OH YOU KNOW WHATS ALSO GOOD FOR THE HOLIDAY lechon. that was my fave part bout goin to my dad's christmas parties#they had this big ass pig and i loved the ear .... crunchy as hell and so good š¤¤ i havent had it in at least a decade tho..#now im hungry. and homesick. 'homesick for yoru dad?' homesick for my dad <- literally just saw him#well i get to see him again thursday :) goin to the doctor... gonna get my medicine again life is gonna be SO good !!!!!!#i have rambled far too long . happy holidays my friends !!!! do try to make puto this season ... very simple and very tasty .......
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE šššš IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#āwhere would you be without herā WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema š¬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe ššš#āshe looks so badassā if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man š#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN šššššš#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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sending this ask as an excuse for you to go hogwild with peppino/pizza tower chatter bc i like to read it lol
Using this as an opportunity to distract from comms bc im tired of looking at this screen š
I think despite the hell Peppino went through, there are some levels/places that he actually enjoyed. Or at the very least, wouldnt mind visiting again. Off the top of my head, i am thinking of the saloon and the beach levels, but also the mini golf area š„ŗ
While i was playing the game (completely blind), I just assumed the tower was comparable to a real life train hub area; portals just led to different areas and districts. As in, these would be places you could visit outside of the tower if u had the means to take urself there. Its why despite the collapse, in the pepperman comic i did, he still offers to take Peppino to his villa. It still exists, its just that the shortcut the tower provided is gone. (This is also why Peppino and Gustavo can still do deliveries in the forest)
So like, now that the threat of losing his restaurant is gone, hes like. Some of those places looked Okay i guess šā¦ā¦. And Gustavo is like (prodding) āwhich places caught ur eye, then?ā
Without the towers (pizzaheads) influence spawning in monsters to fight, the mini golf course is very fun. He gets to run Very Fast (already the best thing in the world) for very long periods of time, and smash into things to score goals. And if he wants to be Normal about it, he can just. Play golf the normal way lol (golf is also just a very calm sport to watch. He watches that shit all the time when hes home, and then passes out in his chair without realizing it)
The saloon is always nice to visit. It did blip on his radar as a place to try out, but he wasnt really incentivized to do so until vigilante started inviting him out. He doesnt go out often, but it is nice to have a little friend circle again :)
And the beach is like. Its a beach! Its weird for him; he probably didnt have any time or money to waste on shit like āvisiting the beachā before, so he feels out of place w all these people running around and having fun. He just likes to lay down and be in the sun :) He stays late into the evening, and drives back home in his shitty car š§” Everyone knows when he does his beach visit bc he tans so easily š
#answered#chattin#peppino#long post#i did not put it in the main body of this#but i hc that he does jogs n stuff in the morning#or at least walks; i do it w my mom so shes not bored and SHE does it to keep her knee from fucking up#so i like the idea of him going to the beach early in the morning to jog#and then relax on the beach for the rest of the day#someone teach him how to listen to podcasts; hed love it#also also#i have no idea if theres like#loreā¢ļø about the tower but im stickin w that#i feel like it would get rebuilt anyway bc enough people use it as a proper hub#that having it blown the fuck up may in fact disrupt some peoples daily lives š#peppino is like its ALWAYS been there that wasnt the fucking problem!#the problem was that some fucker came to me like an apparation to tell me it was outfitted w a PIZZERIA BEGONE BEAM!!!#they can build the fucking tower again; just dont give it the fucking death beam; please ššššš#i think gerome n them would be way more cautious about who decides to take up residence WITHIN the tower again#maybe they didnt have any say in the matter but Now they do
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