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grayskyalt · 1 year ago

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little writing practice snippet thing

for the au where show Lloyd ends up in another universe where the only major events went up to like season 2 minus misako abandoning loid

read after the more if u want

Lloyd felt himself instinctively flinch after a gust of wind blew past him. His grip tightened on the Bounty's railings. Out of the corner of his eye, Lloyd could see Kai staring at him.

It wasn't his Kai though. His Kai wouldn't wonder why Lloyd flinched at something like the wind. His Kai wouldve gone over to him just to be near, just so Lloyd knew Kai's presence was there.

This Kai only stared in interest. He was probably pondering that very question.

Lloyd turned around to see that Loid, this world's version of himself, had finally made his way out to the deck. Lloyd felt his stomach twist whenever he saw Loid's golden eyes, golden armor, or that dyed brown hair. It was like seeing a miniature version of his dad. He quickly became nauseous upon the thought of his dad.

"Sooo, what are you two doing?" Asked Loid, his voice chipper and still raspy and higher pitched. Apparently the tea incident never happened in this world either.

"Just catching my breath," Lloyd responded, "we're landing in Ninjago City next, right?" Loid gave a curt nod. Lloyd turned around again to look out into the distance. He wondered if Cyrus Borg was around, or how far technology advanced. He'd heavily questioned them beforehand about Borg Tower, only to be met with the fact such a tower didn't exist in this world. Only a memorial commemorating anyone who lost their lives during the Final Battle.

At least they can call it the Final Battle, Lloyd thought bitterly. For him, the Final Battle only became the first of many battles. For Loid and this world, it stopped there. Nothing more other than minor skirmishes and petty crimes.

The hope was to first find Cyrus Borg or Mystake, whoever could help deduce what brought Lloyd into another dimension in the first place. The ship came to a slow stop.

"Sorry guys!" A voice yelled from up top. "The winds are becoming a bit too wild for it to be safe to cross these mountains. We'll have to fly at a lower altitude and wait it out for a bit" Nya explained, walking down to the deck. Lloyd only now noticed that Jay and Cole were right behind her.

"So while we have to wait, how about we test your skills?" Kai offered, a cocky grin on his face.

"Knock it off Kai" Cole teased, jokingly punching Kai in the arm.

"You don't have to accept!" Kai affirmed, still rubbing the area where Cole punched him.

"I wouldn't mind" Lloyd responded, not letting his expression change. After all, he was rather curious about the Ninjas skill level too. "5 v 1 or 1 v 1?" Lloyd asked, nearly catching himself from saying 6 v 1. Nya hadn't been trained in this world as the water ninja.

"Now what makes you think you can handle 5 v 1?" Loid asked almost cautiously, with curiosity creeping into his voice. "You'll have to see" Lloyd smiled, leaving everyone slightly confused and challenged.

"How about we four go agaisnt him first, then we have the two loids duke it out!" Jay suggested, making a big hand motion when he described the loid fight. Loid and Nya backed up to give the rest of them space. The golden weapons had also been combined into the Mega Weapon before being sent off into space, thought the Overlord had not returned in this world.

Yet, a sadistic thought crept in. Lloyd hadn't gone in depth about his own timeline to the other ninja, maybe out of some selfish desire to see them go through the same suffering he had to.

...

He'd tell them later.

For now, Lloyd readied himself. He didn't power up or grab a sword. Zane gave him an odd look. Lloyd ignored him.

"And begin!"

Lloyd let Kai charge at him first, easily side stepping his advances before catching Jay's nunchucks. Jay was stronger than he thought, so Lloyd flung into a Spinjitzu tornado before throwing Jay onto Cole. A shuriken barely whipped past his face before Zane came and attacked with his other shuriken. Lloyd punched and dodged before getting abruptly kicked from the back and jumped to avoid Cole's scythe swing. Kai and Jay both used Spinjitzu while Cole and Zane kept him distracted.

So their fighting skills aren't all that bad, Lloyd thought to himself. Even though they lacked precise coordination with each other, it was still difficult to keep track of all 4 of them at once. Lloyd finally pulled out a small knife from his belt to block Kai's katana, his knees almost buckling from the amount of weight Kai had put into the swing.

He let go of the dagger and let Kai's sword fall to where Jay's nunchucks were swinging. Zane came at him again with both his shurikens while Cole came up behind him. Lloyd managed to out maneuver them again, but he was already panting. The others seemed much more exhausted than him, so Lloyd stretched his arms and taunted them again with a hand motion.

He really didn't want to use his power, if he needed to, he'd want it to be a surprise. This time Jay came at him with a Spinjitzu tornado, only he was much slower than what Lloyd was used to seeing. He simply moved out of the way and decided to go Kai first. Kai frantically tried to block with his swords at Lloyd's sudden advancement, with Lloyd taking out another dagger to disarm Kai.

A sword flew out of Kai's hand. Lloyd strained his arm upwards to catch the sword before kicking Kai to the ground. This fight has gone on for too long, Lloyd's mind echoed, it's time to end this.

He stood his ground in the middle and let the four of them surround him.

"We've got you cornered now!" Cole shouted enthusiastically, visibly tightening the grip on his scythe. The other three seemed equally prepared and confident. Lloyd slowly started to smirk. First Master, he had missed feeling this powerful.

He finally let green energy flow through him. The others didn't attack, but stared in wonder at the way Lloyd's eyes glowed and his hands produced bright green light. It must've been surprising, he'd already seen Loid's power and knew that his training had mostly gone to his golden power. Lloyd's mastery over green energy far surpassed any of the ninja in this world.

Zane was the first to react, but was still too slow compared to when Lloyd suddenly brought his hands together opposite parallel.

Lloyd started to hear a slow rhythmic clapping, and whipped his head around with everyone else to see Master Wu descending down the steps. "Your skills are masterful and powerful. I think it's safe to say my ninja do not hold a candle to you" Master Wu commented, his eyes twinkling with pride. "I-uh thank you Master" Lloyd stumbled, the words feeling like they were just spilling out of his mouth.

Green energy expelled everywhere as he moved his hands I'm opposite directions. It looked almost like a shockwave as the energy easily disarmed everybody and sent the ninja to the ground.

Lloyd walked over and reached his hand out to help Kai up, feeling awkward as Kai didn't grab his hand but instead continued to stare in disbelief.

Master Wu gave a warm smile, his gaze resting on everyone. "That being said, you all did wonderful and have clearly improved since the last time I have seen you all." Lloyd could see a few smaller smiles being exchanged between the ninja. Lloyd looked back over to where Nya and Loid was only to freeze.

His father. Not HIS father, but he wasn't even that different from the father Lloyd used to know. Garmadon met Lloyd's eyes with a look he couldn't place to any specific emotion. Lloyd looked away. He could feel his hands shaking from just meeting Garmadon's eyes.

"... Lloyd, how long have you been training with your green energy power?" Master Wu asked, staring right at Lloyd. He thought for a few moments. "5 years? Give or take a lot actually there were a lot of circumstances that made it difficult to track..." Lloyd answered, unsure of how he should go about answering that. He wasn't keen on explaining why he was several years older than Loid or why he wore green instead of gold.

He could tell that everyone knew he was hiding something, they just didn't know how much he wanted to keep under wraps. For now, Lloyd's lips stayed shut.

"It's nearly 7 and it looks like these winds won't be getting any better soon," said Garmadon. Lloyd gave another flinch from being startled, if anyone noticed, no one gave any indication. "Let's head inside and prepare dinner."

As everyone started to walk inside, Lloyd let himself take another deep breath, doing his best to ignore the bite of the wind.

Just a few more weeks, he told himself. It can't be much longer. But there is always the chance another portal can never be opened again, a lingering thought in the back of Lloyd's mind made itself known. He shook his head.

He didn't want to think about that possibility.

#ninjago #lloyd garmadon #ninjago au #writing #my writing #sorry for any pacing or if this is just weirdly written #this was written on my phone in the tumblr drafts lol #just a small thing ive been working on from time to time with no overall goal #PerfectWorldNinjagoAu

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casspurrjoybell-30 · 1 year ago

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Bonding with the Enemy - Chapter 24

*Warning Adult Content*

Bad Parenting

Darren's parents looked just as surprised as he was as they stared each other down.

Neither group knew what to say to the other.

"Mom. Dad," he attempted a greeting, though his words came out stiff.

Out from behind the two stepped a third person.

This woman was wearing a grey V-neck shirt, with flowing waves of blond hair that was swept over one shoulder.

Gone were the unicorns and rainbow scrunches, each replaced by makeup and tight fitted clothes.

Darren blinked as his mind struggled to comprehend the fact that this Instagram model was once his innocent little sister.

She smiled excitedly.

"Darren?"

It felt nice to know that at least one of them was happy to see the rogue, though his parents clearly didn't share the sentiment as his mother raised a hand to stop Marcy from hugging him.

The woman then scowled as she took note of Darren's overgrown hair, looking at it as though he had dumped trash over his head.

"Come along Marcy. Rogues have no place in this family."

She then grabbed his sister by the wrist and dragged her into the store.

As for Darren's father, the man was just as much of a twig as ever but his face was grim and he followed the woman inside without a word, completely ignoring his son.

Darren was left watching the three walk away as though nothing had happened.

"Hey," Jasper came up from behind him.

"What was that?"

The rogue turned to face the Alpha who, for some reason, balked in response.

"What's wrong?"

Something wet was streaming down his face and Darren didn't like it.

He also didn't like the pain in his chest or the fact that the entire world looked blurry now.

'Was he crying? Why?'

His breathing picked up as his thoughts were scrambled and the next thing Darren knew, he was sprinting across the parking lot at full speed.

Darren knew there was nothing to be sad about.

HE was the one who left THEM.

HE was the one who ignored THEM.

HE was the one who escaped from under their scrutiny.

Their opinion meant NOTHING to him.

'So why did it hurt so much to know that they didn't care?'

A group of passerby's dodged out of his way, startled by the sight of a rogue running around unattended.

One woman screamed, thinking he was coming after her but he ran right passed and dove between two buildings where he huddled behind a dumpster.

'Don't be sad. Don't be sad.'

STOP CRYING DAMNIT.

Darren clutched his face angrily, trying to stop the tears and shaking his head.

He had nothing to be sad about.

They were terrible parents anyways.

As a matter of fact, how dare they act like they were the ones who abandoned him first?

Darren was the one who took the initiative, not them.

He slammed the back of his head against the dumpster wall, causing stars to fly across his vision.

Then he did it again. And again.

Darren knew that everyone within two blocks could probably hear the noise he was making as he continued to bang against the metal wall.

He didn't care though.

He had to stop these feelings.

They didn't belong here.

Unfortunately the tears kept coming, which just made him angrier and he shouted obscenities at the top of his lungs as he slammed his head back against the dumpster a few more times before laying still and staring at the sky.

He then heard a shuffling noise but Darren was too drained to worry over who it might be.

The stranger loomed over him for a moment, then sat down.

It didn't take much brainpower to assume it was Jasper and Darren waited for the guy to speak up.

He expected questions or taunts or...something.

But instead, he got silence.

It wasn't just silence though.

The man could have stayed away and waited for Darren to get over his tantrum or drag the rogue out of the alley and told him to man up like his mother used to do.

But that's not what Jasper did.

Instead, he was sitting nearby, making sure Darren didn't feel lonely in his moment of weakness.

Honestly, he appreciated it.

'God. What the hell did that say about his parents if his bully was being nicer to him than they were?'

A small laugh escaped him and Jasper glanced over, worriedly.

With a sigh, Darren managed to tamper his feelings back down and wiped his face.

The tears had finally stopped but he still felt exhausted from the effort, though his restless night could also have something to do with it.

"I think..." Jasper stood and held out a hand.

"Maybe we should head back to the house for a bit?"

Darren stared at the man, surprised that the guy wasn't trying to ask any questions, yet shrugged it off and agreed.

Returning to the Alpha's house, Darren knew his eyes were red and puffy.

He also felt extremely drowsy, so he wandered over to the couch and laid down.

Jasper hovered over him for a bit but once more didn't say anything.

He instead turned away to make a quick phone call and as he did so, Darren decided to be useful.

"Shane got in a rusty red car," the rogue muttered, closing his eyes.

"No license plate."

Jasper nodded, then stepped out of the room.

Darren felt himself doze off, unwittingly obtaining that little bit of extra sleep that he was deprived of earlier and awoke to Gerrit and Jasper talking in the hallway.

Checking his phone, Darren realized he'd been napping for about an hour.

Jasper then left and Gerrit turned to find Darren staring at him.

"Oh, so you are awake," the mousy man smiled and sat beside him on the couch.

"Is everything okay?"

Darren immediately raised his defenses, unwilling to discuss his personal matters with a stranger.

"Yep. Just needed a nap."

Gerrit quirked an eyebrow as though to say, 'that's not what I heard.'

Then he shrugged.

"That's good I guess."

The rogue sat up straighter and stretched, deciding to change the topic.

"So where did Jasper go?"

"He said he had a few people that he needed to fix things with."

Darren immediately knew that that meant the man was still trying to apologize to his victims.

Jasper had meant to do that yesterday but had to put that on hold when they found out Darren was able to see more ghosts now, thus shifting their focus back to the investigation.

Now that they knew a little more about Shane's disappearance, the guy had probably spent the past hour looking into it.

That would explain why Gerrit was here and not at work.

Momentarily, he considered whether or not it'd be wise to admit to the guy that he suspected Liam.

Gerrit was pretty smart and if he was reading into the clues as much as Darren was, he most likely would suspect the Alpha as well.

But then again, Liam was his father and he might not want to think of his parent that way.

Darren decided to test the waters to see just how much he could trust the man.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Darren quickly thought over his words before continuing.

"Are you really okay with Jasper becoming the next Alpha?"

That seemed to catch the man off guard as he stared back at Darren in disbelief.

"What are you suggesting?"

Darren immediately held up his hands as he realized what kind of insinuation he had blurted.

"I'm not saying anything about Jasper, I just meant that it seemed like it'd be frustrating to be the Alpha's son and not inherit anything."

That had the other man thinking, and he glanced up towards the ceiling before answering.

"Well, it's certainly not a good feeling."

"So you are upset about it?"

"Quite frankly, yes."

Gerrit faced Darren, his expression somewhat downcast.

"You're the first person to even bother asking how I felt. Everyone else just expects me to go along with it."

A sense of De' ja' vu' hit the rogue as he realized he'd heard this story before.

"So why didn't you leave? Or at least talk to your parents about it?"

Gerrit shrugged.

"I did try to bring it up but you know how my dad is. He doesn't like it when people don't do what he wants and he wanted me to be okay with it, so I tried. It's not that I have anything against Jasper, he's like a brother to me but I still feel like I've been shoved aside."

The man's shoulders slumped as he tried smiling feebly.

"You know, the only reason I worked so hard in school was to make my dad proud. I didn't even get my job with his help, I had to do it all on my own. I thought if I got a good job, then maybe he'd shine a little of that attention on me. But now he's more focused on training Jasper than ever, so I guess it was pointless."

"So...What are you going to do when Jasper becomes Alpha?" Darren asked hesitantly.

"I was actually planning on moving out. Maybe travel a bit. I've got some money saved up so I think I'll be able to afford it, at least for a little while. And I know it sounds selfish to leave as soon as Jasper takes over but honestly, I don't think he actually needs me around as much as I hoped he would."

"I'm sure he does. You said so yourself, he doesn't know squat about paperwork, right?"

"He can just hire someone else to take my place. That's the downside to being expendable."

The rogue was amazed at how much he could relate to this man.

Gerrit had experienced practically the same life, the only difference was that instead of running away like Darren had, he had tried to stay and earn his parents approval.

Before he could help it, Darren put a comforting hand on the man's shoulder.

Gerrit glanced back questioningly and the rogue smiled.

"I don't think you're expendable and anyone who says otherwise is a dipshit."

Gerrit looked a little startled by Darren's choice of words but once he let it sink in, he started blushing.

Then the man stood abruptly.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

With that, he left the room.

Darren remained on the couch, startled by his sudden departure and worried that he may have said the wrong thing.

For the next three hours, he switched between watching TV, checking his phone and napping.

When Jasper finally returned, he handed Darren a plastic bag from the convenient store.

"What's this?" he asked, suspicious.

Jasper hesitated.

"Um, Ice cream and chocolate?"

"Why did you get me junk food?"

"For comfort?"

The rogue stared dumbly at the man, then looked through the bag and found that not only was there chocolate and ice cream but also a jar of cherries, chocolate syrup, bananas and whipped cream.

All the fixings for a banana split.

He wondered how he should react to this.

It was clear that Jasper was worried that Darren would still be depressed over what happened earlier but there was no way a bowl of ice cream was going to fix that.

Then again, maybe it was worth a shot?

"Thanks."

He turned towards the kitchen, more excited than he cared to admit.

Jasper followed and showed him where the dishes were.

"So I was thinking..." Jasper spoke up as he scooped some ice cream.

"I'm not completely sure if my mate is a girl anymore."

Darren froze mid drizzle as he held the chocolate syrup over his bowl.

"Excuse me?"

Jasper shrugged, trying to downplay the situation.

"I just mean that, when I think about it, I didn't pick on any girls back in school. So if it was someone I used to bully, then it would have to be a guy. Or..." he turned towards Darren and stared intensely.

Darren's heart all but stopped in response.

"Maybe she's related to someone I picked on," the Alpha finished.

Darren relaxed, glad that he hadn't been caught yet.

"Like a sister," Jasper pushed, grabbing the jar of cherries.

"That would explain why she's angry. I mean, who would be okay with being mated to someone who picked on their brother?"

Darren nodded absentmindedly, hoping this conversation would end soon but once more found himself under Jasper's scrutiny.

"So I was thinking that maybe it's your sister?"

That caused the rogue to drop the bottle of chocolate syrup and jab a finger into Jasper's chest angrily.

"Don't you dare try to suggest that Marcy is your mate."

"But what if..."

"I said no," Darren shouted louder than he intended, then blushed, realizing he was completely overreacting.

With a huff, he turned and grabbed his bowl, then hurried out of sight, missing the look of suspicion that Jasper cast his way.

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merakiui · 3 years ago

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I was reading through your tags and you mentioned at some point the kazuscara roommates finding your onlyfans and I think I completely combusted—thus i present to you my brain rot of late: you attend the same school as them but you’re not actually friends, all you know about kazuha is that he’s the friendly regular at the cafe you work at, who makes polite conversation every now and then but otherwise is nothing of note. In reality he’s been stalking you for weeks ever since your first encounter, and is dead set on the idea that you’re this innocent, weak thing that needs to be protected (maybe he stepped in when you had a bad customer and your meek reply helped fester his delusions?). Scara, on the other hand, is only aware of your presence since you’re his favourite cam model that he recently found. (Since he’s a harbinger he’s probs loaded) Weeks of funnelling money towards you cause him to feel this unwarranted possessiveness, believing that since he’s been providing so much in your “relationship” that it’s time you reward him in turn. However, despite the unbridled interest they have toward you neither are aware of each other’s feelings for you— that is, until you happen to run into the both of them heading to your class. While both are known for maintaining their stoic masks, they’re friends for a reason— and instantly can tell the attraction their roommates have towards their own “lover”. After kazuha finds your onlyfans he’s certain that you’ve been coerced and wants to save you, while scara thinks it’s time that he’s stopped letting other plebeians look at his possession—so, despite their initial reservations, come together to form the ideal plan. When you find yourself waking up groggy in a room you don’t recognize, all they can do is look on with glee whilst planning their next course of action with their new belonging. They’re friends after all, and good friends share though, don’t they?

This is v long srry lol you can ignore this ofc!!

AAAH, ANON!! YES!!! <3 I couldn’t resist writing more on this concept. orz They make for such a terrifying pair when they work together!

(cw: yandere, stalking, nsfw, implied kidnapping/drugging, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, delusional thoughts, savior complex, implied violence)

What if Kazuha and Scara were just acquainted with one another and actually became closer through their mutual obsession with you? Yes, they’re roommates and ought to get along because they’re living together but they haven’t exactly clicked yet. They talk every now and then and know little things about each other. Nothing too special. They don’t really hang out outside of their dorm either, what with their class schedules being vastly different. And Kazuha’s always out of the dorm doing who-knows-what. Most of his time is spent at a café, where he’ll write and read and stare at you while you work. On the other hand, Scara prefers to stay inside if he doesn’t have a good reason to go out. He likes his alone time. Although he has enjoyed going to the library every now and then to study.

So maybe they need to find some common ground. Maybe they need a push in the right direction before they get closer.

Kazuha likes to stare. Talking to you is great, but he worries he’ll say too much and then he’ll be a nuisance, or you might not want to talk to him at all since you’re working. But you always regard him with a warm smile, happy to scribble his name on the plastic cup because you remember him. Because you recognize his familiar face and soft, gentle eyes. He’s the one who saved you from that rude customer, after all, and he’s a polite regular. Why wouldn’t you know him? You might look like you can handle those types of situations, but what Kazuha saw that day was something entirely different. You were nervous—so soft-spoken and scared. He absolutely has to protect you from those kinds of people now, doesn’t he?

And he does exactly that. He’s your second pair of eyes—your valiant knight in shining armor—who sees and hears all. Sometimes he goes to the café with the intention to simply watch over you and make sure no one’s bothering you. He can recall one time when a customer was speaking rudely about you because her drink hadn’t been prepared in a ‘timely manner.’ In reality it’s impossible to make a drink within a few seconds, especially when you’re already preoccupied with making another customer’s drink. She must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed, or maybe she’s just a hateful person in general. You didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of such fiery insults, though.

Her eyes just can’t see your perfection and therefore she does not deserve to see out of them.

Kazuha’s willing to wrestle with all of this darkness if it means you’ll stay safe, oblivious, and pure. You’re like a defenseless kitten, unable to protect yourself from the scary world. He writes about you a lot in his journal; you’re his muse—someone who constantly shows up in poems and short paragraphs where he tries to describe what your dream date might be or what type of wedding you’d prefer. Things get darker the deeper you delve into his writings, where you’ll find entries in great detail. Kazuha writes a lot and he doesn’t even mean to. He just has to get all of his thoughts on paper before they abandon him and he’s left with emptiness.

Everything you do is pure; you’re almost an equivalent to a holy being. Your smell is pure. Your body is pure. Your actions are pure. Your smile is pure. Even when you’re on the verge of crying from harsh customers or when you’re turning down a confession, you’re still pure. And Kazuha likes that about you because it’s special. There aren’t many people in his life who are completely pure. He’s been through a lot of rough things and has seen firsthand how impure people can be. It’s only fair that he gets a chance to protect purity itself.

He might have some impurities, but that doesn’t deter him from watching over you. As gentle and unassuming as he is, there are times when even he loses his composure. Not many are privy to these dark emotions of his. His smiles are sharp and venomous and his eyes fill with a gloom so dark it can swallow you whole. You’ll never see this side of him; he won’t allow it. Instead you’re treated to his sweet, calm side, where he feigns perfection in hopes of catching your interest.

As for Scara… He doesn’t really care about Kazuha in the beginning. He’s just someone he has to live with. It’s not a big deal and as long as he doesn’t try to make lots of pointless conversation everything will be okay. He prefers the peace and quiet, considering he’s acquainted with people who are far from peaceful and quiet. Scara’s relieved that Kazuha leaves the dorm so often because it gives him an opportunity to watch his favorite cam star’s most recent video. He’s your most loyal follower—someone who’s paid lots of money just to have access to the highest tier of rewards and such. He even got a private video where you addressed him and moaned out his name with lustful thoughts of him. Having lots of money comes in handy.

When he finds out that you go to the same school as him, he’s a little shocked. He didn’t expect you to be so close. You’re practically within touching distance. If only he knew your schedule. If only you were in one of his classes. It’s really annoying that he only knows your online presence and not who you might be in your personal life. The last thing he’s going to do is consult Childe, that popular athlete who knows literally everyone in the school for whatever reason. Surely he knows you. But he’ll die before he ever asks Childe for a favor.

Scara loves you out of every other cam model because you’re different. You’re not just trying to get fast cash. You’re genuine. You listen to your subscribers and their feedback. You do your best to improve and do even better streams than the previous ones. All of your hard work is overlooked by the other fools who watch your streams, but it isn’t overlooked by him. Scara appreciates your attention to detail and the way you’re able to hook him with your breathless voice alone. You’re very skilled at what you do, so it’s only fair you get paid for it.

But buying your services isn’t enough. It’s not a real relationship, but it certainly feels like it when he buys preferential treatment. Private shows, special requests, odd favors—you do it all because he pays for it. But this relationship isn’t going to be one-sided forever. You’ll have to pay him back in full eventually. Scara likes to think he has patience and that waiting is fine. It gives him more time to plan his next move—to figure out what he should do to finally have you all to himself. So that those private shows he watches through a screen can finally be real.

Scara finds the journal sitting innocently on Kazuha’s bed, its maroon cover and maple leaves pulling at his curiosity. He might not know everything about Kazuha, but he’d recognize this journal anywhere. His roommate almost always has it on his person. Scara wouldn’t be surprised if he slept with it. To say he’s curious would be absolutely correct. He can only wonder what Kazuha writes in that thing. Perhaps it’s just notes for a class. That’s what anyone would think, right?

Scara opens it and flips through the first few pages. They’re normal for the most part. Just a bunch of haikus and other useless scribbles. When he skips over some pages, he starts to find things that are far more interesting than poetry and doodles of cats. He finds the majority of the journal is comprised of information. More specifically, there are facts and other knowledge about you—the cam model he’s been obsessed with ever since he stumbled upon your onlyfans. He reads through as much of the journal as he can and instantly learns so much: your address, your roommate, your workplace, your friends’ names, names of any potential exes. The list goes on and on.

Scara doesn’t have anything against Kazuha. His first impression of him wasn’t anything groundbreaking. He thought he was a pushover at first. But now that he knows what this journal holds… Well, it sheds an entirely new light on his roommate.

Just days before Scara took a peek inside his journal, Kazuha discovers your secret online life. He snoops through Scara’s laptop when he steps out, having left it open and unlocked. He’s just trying to find what could have caught Scara’s interest, as he’s almost always glued to his laptop on specific days at specific times, with his headphones on and his gaze unyielding. He doesn’t intend to find the file of one of your private videos—something that was meant only for Scara’s eyes.

He clicks on the video out of interest. He’s not sure what he was expecting to see, but it definitely wasn’t this. Kazuha sits there and stares at the sight before him. You’re dressed in skimpy lingerie and you’re muttering the dirtiest things while coating your fingers in lube. And your hands are stroking a thick toy and you’re addressing Scara and you’re lining it up to your hole and— He shuts the laptop before it can get even more explicit than it already is. He’s so conflicted, fraught with a betrayal so strong it weighs his heart down.

Why would he have this sort of video on his laptop? Did you give it to him? Did he make you do this? Are you in danger? Are you still pure?

Kazuha can’t kill on campus. It’s way too risky and he’d be one of the first suspects if Scara’s body is found. Besides, it’s not like he has the full story. He doesn’t know whether or not Scara’s done something that’s worthy of death. You could just be in a tight spot. He knows how easily you give in when you’re under pressure. Maybe you’re just doing this because you feel like it’s the only thing you can do. Not to worry; Kazuha will save you before Scara can ruin your purity with his twisted fantasies.

They confront each other when the time feels right. Kazuha struggles to keep a smile plastered to his face for the sake of politeness, while Scara holds in his raging temper so that he can bear some semblance of cooperation. Neither of them is happy to hear that the other went through their stuff, but they force themselves to make up because a more pressing issue is at hand: their connection to you.

Kazuha says he’s your secret admirer. Scara says he’s in a relationship with you. There’s no way you’d ever date someone like Scara—Kazuha knows this for a fact. Yet he falters at the confidence in Scara’s tone. That can’t be the truth, right? Despite this, Kazuha still strikes up an offer: If they work together to get what they both want, they’ll be unstoppable. With Scara’s riches and his influence and Kazuha’s charisma and clever thinking, they can easily get their hands on you. Of course this means they’ll have to share, but it’s not a big deal when they’re already in so deep. They both know the other’s secret; now they’re swearing to keep it in the pursuit of having you all to themselves. And luckily Scara agrees to the deal, but that doesn’t give Kazuha a reason to lower his guard.

However despite how well they work together when it comes to planning the kidnapping and actually executing it, they both have their own reasons for wanting you. Scara wishes to make his relationship with you a reality—to toss aside the screen that once held him back and finally do all of the things he could only do in his dreams. Kazuha seeks to protect your fragile heart, lest you crumble under Scara’s intense way of doing things and cling to him for salvation. You can’t do those sorts of things with Scara; he won’t allow it. Your purity is meant for him and no one else.

But sharing is caring and some have to learn that the hard way. It definitely brings Kazuha and Scara closer together, even if neither of them will admit it. If they look past their desires, they can be friends. And soon enough they’ll have to accept this new friendship if they want to avoid any unnecessary complications.

However there are times when they’ll cooperate in order to do things with you. They’re a packaged deal you can’t get rid of.

#chit chat #yandere #yandere kazuha #yandere scaramouche #kazuscara roommates #ty for feeding me anon orz #i like the idea of them being friends on the surface #but beneath that they're willing to abandon the other in order to meet their desires #but when they come together they're a force to be reckoned with #aaah i could go on and on with this concept #but i don't want to ramble #ANYWAYS TY AGAIN ANON <3 YOUR BRAIN IS SO LARGE #🧸 anon

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redhead-batgal · 3 years ago

Text

Type: One-Shot

Pairing: Fem! and Vigilante! Reader x Jason Todd/ Red hood

Content: cursing, a claustrophobic reader, little bit of angst, some fluff and a bit of violence

Y/N: Your Name, L/N: Last Name, V/N: Vigilante Name

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angry wasn’t a strong enough word to describe how you were feeling. Enraged, infuriated and pissed off came close but not close enough. This feeling was so strong and so vivid you could practically see it, hell you could probably taste it.

Unlike how most people describe anger, yours wasn’t a red. No it was white, an icy hot white that seemed to drench every single one of your senses. White was in the corners of your vision, It was clinging to every single sound, it was in each smell, sharp and clear. You could feel it dancing on your skin like electricity, it covered your tongue and coated your cheeks.

It was everywhere.

And at the moment the icy white seemed to be invading your lungs and slowly turning into a dark black. Such a dark and dense color it began to be hard to breathe. You were in fact in the last place you’d like to be at the moment. Which just so happened to be locked in a closet.

It didn’t help that you weren’t alone. While yes, being alone would mean you would have to go through it alone. Go through the feeling of all the walls closing in on you as the air gets thinner and your head begins to spin as your brain fries from panic, as your entire body began to spasm and you blacked out from hyperventilating. But at the moment you would have preferred to be alone rather then let him, see you go through all of that. It was bad enough he had seen you slip up the week before while on patrol.

You had been patrolling with Batgirl and Black Bat, this was usually what you did. Since you didn’t get along very well with Robin, and Red Robin, well he scared you a tiny bit due to one patrol in which you saw him consume ungodly amounts of caffeine. You couldn’t keep up with Nightwing and were informed by Robin that Batman thought you talked to much. Batgirl and Black Bat seemed to to be the perfect fit.

However on the night in question you sort of wished they hadn’t been. It would have been easier to explain why you messed up and he wouldn’t be able to hold it over your head. It had been a dumb move but you were bored, patrol had been relatively quiet with Black Bat taking care of nearly any threat that appeared before you or Batgirl could even respond to the comm. Oracle had just informed the three of you to be on the look out for Penguin. He had been recently making many trips to a abandon warehouse. The three of you had been asked to make sure nothing happened. Of course you decided that divvying up assignments would be perfect so all three of you could see some action. Neither Black Bat nor Batgirl had argued so you each took an area to watch.

It had nearly been an hour since you had spilt up. There was no action on your end. You had just begun to give up hope when

“I see Penguin,” Batgirl whispered into the comm.

Excitement coursed over your veins and you found yourself bouncing up and down, you nearly threw yourself across the rooftops so you could join Batgirl in the fight. However-

“It looks as if he’s just casing the place... somethings off. What do you say Black Bat? Is something off?”

You didn’t want to hear that, Penguin was here, obviously something was happening more then likely it was illegal and you were itching to punch someone, Shaking your head you bounced from the balls of your feet to your heels.

One click came over the comm from Black Bat. She, agreed with Batgirl, leaving you the odd man out... well odd woman.

“I think we should just wait for now,” Batgirl remarked.

Begrudgingly you agreed, at the moment nothing was happening and you knew that if you charged in fists swinging and weapons raised Batman would have your head.

“Fine.” You sighed

It took you a minute but you moved yourself so that you could watch Penguin without “technically” leaving your post. Penguin stood a couple hundred feet from the door to the warehouse, surrounding him was close to twenty goons. He appeared to be talking to them and looking at his watch, suddenly one of the goons stepped up to him and whispered in his ear. Penguin nodded and waved a hand. All of the goons including himself began to move into the warehouse.

There were upsides and down sides to this.

Downside number one: You couldn’t see them anymore

Downside number two: This could be a trap

However there were more upsides then down.

Upside number one: You got to move into the warehouse

Upside number two: More then likely this was some kind of deal going down and you would get to punch a dude in the face

Upside number three: You were finally gonna see some action.

Lowering yourself into a crouch you quickly spoke into the comm.

“I’m gonna go in.” “V/N, don’t. Something about this doesn’t seem right.”

“I’ll be fine, besides how else are we supposed to see what’s going on?”

There wasn’t a reply, though your weren’t really paying attention close enough to notice. You had begun bounding your way towards an open window you had spotted earlier while scanning the perimeter of the building. You vaulted in through the window just barely making it; internally you thanked Nightwing for insisting upon doing acrobatics for part of your training and made a mental note to ask him for some more lessons later.

The warehouse wasn’t completely empty, it had two levels, the top was covered in boxes filled with packing peanuts. You briefly remembered Red Robin saying something about this place being owned by a former packing company, however at the time you weren’t really paying attention. In your defense Red Robin, at the time, had an mini army of at least fifty cups of empty coffee at his feet.

Creeping past the boxes you settled yourself in between two large ones watching at Penguin and his goons stood in the middle of the room.

“Where is he boss? Didn’t he say he’d be here?” One of the goons asked with a slight sneer.

Another rolled his eyes and scoffed, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t show, would make the boss look like an even bigger idiot.”

Penguin shot the man a look then he raised his umbrella, opened it slightly and a gunshot rang out. The goon fell down dead, a tense feeling came over you however, instead of jumping down and trying to apprehend him you stayed where you were. Someone else was coming, you may be impulsive at times but you weren’t a complete idiot.

It wasn’t long before you heard doors open, it hadn’t occurred to you that the comms might not be working, you just thought that Black Bat and Batgirl were just either hiding as well somewhere in the warehouse or were waiting for you to say something.

You can’t say that you weren’t surprised when you saw him. As far as you heard he was going straight, hell you where then when he told Batman himself that he was going to follow the Bat rules. You wished it didn’t hurt as much as it did, but seeing Red Hood walk into the warehouse stopping just before the center felt like someone shot you.

He was alone and you could tell from his body language that this wasn’t exactly a friendly meeting, that and the fact that all of Penguin’s goons drew there weapons at the sight of him.

“You rang?” Red Hood remarked.

Penguin narrowed his eyes and looked Red Hood over. He lowered his umbrella and took a step forwards.

“You came alone?”

“Does it look like I have backup?”

Penguin didn’t reply, he just looked up and began to look around the second floor. For a moment you thought he spotted you, but he kept scanning the floor. After looking it all over he looked back to Red Hood, then remarked,

“Search it.”

Your stomach dropped and you knew you had to get out of there, normally you wouldn’t mind jumping into a fight, but Red Hood’s business was his own. No matter how much it hurt and no matter how much you wanted to know, it was none of your business.

Slowly pushing yourself to your feet you waited until Penguin’s goons began to climb the stairs. Turning to go back the way you came you found yourself face to face with Scarecrow.

Of course it just had to be Scarecrow, the one villain who had a toxin that could leave nearly everyone incapacitated.

“Shit.”

Scarecrow laughed slightly remarking, “What do we have here?”

The next thing you knew something was being sprayed in your face. Instinctively you backed away from the liquid coming at you. Taking four steps back you suddenly noticed that the ground wasn’t beneath your foot anymore. Then you stumbled backwards and began to fall.

After that everything was a blur, you faintly remember hearing Red Hood shout,

“Damn it.”

Before everything disappeared and the nightmares took over. You awoke the next morning only to discover that had it not been for Red Hood you would have died. A rookie mistake, Scarecrow had snuck past into the warehouse as you were watching Penguin. Had you been paying attention to your surroundings instead of trying to find a reason to jump into the fight, you wouldn’t have been caught so off guard.

Not paying attention to your surroundings also got you into the mess you were currently in.

You, had been avoiding him, Red Hood- Jason Todd ,for the past few days. Not only was it embarrassing that you made such a dumb mistake but, the fact that you had to be rescued got under your skin. You prided yourself on not being a damsel in distress yet it seemed that you had times where you were one. It didn’t help that you felt violently angry at him, he was supposed to be going straight and yet he was meeting up with Penguin and Scarecrow. Every time you saw him you turned and nearly ran in the either direction. It had been working just fine until this evening.

You had been in the library of Wayne manor, grabbing a book off the shelf when Jason came in. Seeing him you felt a sharp spark of white anger, however instead of acknowledging his presence you decided to ignore him. A poor choice really, a petty one, and at the moment you didn’t care.

You began to browse the shelves when you spotted him moving towards you. Continuing to ignore him you moved down the aisle. He followed and you turned sharply moving into the next aisle.

“Y/N.”

You almost looked up, you almost blew it, however after many months of ignoring a persistent Tim Drake and an even more persistent Damian Wayne, you learned how to ignore someone when they called your name.

Moving down the aisle towards the back of the library, you should have noticed Tim loitering in the corner and Dick at the very end of the last aisle. But you didn’t, you were too keen on keeping away from Jason.

“Y/N, are you seriously avoiding me?”

You couldn’t keep it together, every fiber of your being wanted to shout YES, Yes! of course. Why wouldn’t you be avoiding him, you were angry with him, so very righteously angry... or so you thought.

You made it to the end of the aisle and you stopped, had you been paying attention you would have noticed the open door just behind you and how Tim was right behind Jason as he got closer. You went to leave, to move to yet another aisle when Dick moved into your path.

You side-stepped in a hope to slip past him but he followed you. Letting out a frustrated grunt you gave him a slight glare.

“Move Dick, I need to get pass.”

“Sorry Y/N, but no.”

You blinked and raised an eyebrow in confusion, Dick took a step forwards and took the books from your arms. You opened your mouth to shout protests when he shoved you straight into the room behind you. Your back bounced against the wall and your stomach flipped as you realized it was a closet. A second later you saw Jason stumbling towards you.

It seemed that he too got shoved into the closet, he slammed into you and you once again hit the back wall. The door slammed shut and you heard a faint click. Your stomach dropped and suddenly everything was dark.

“You two,” Dick remarked from the other side of the door, “are going to make up and you are not coming out of there until you do.”

You felt Jason pull away from you and then heard quiet cursing's. A light flickered on and you saw how small the room was, it was just the two of you alone together in a very tiny room. All the air went from your lungs and it began. You sank to the ground as the world around you began to spin.

Instantly Jason was sitting across from you not fully seeming to understand you were having a panic attack. And that lead up to this moment the anger was being taken over by the panic. Your hands were shaking and you eyes closed, you could feel his gaze on you as you tried to steady your breathing. But everything was spinning and the enclosing walls followed you, dancing on your eyelids as you felt your empty stomach revolt against you. Had you eaten something you would probably be hurling it up. Instead your entire body shook as you pushed back dry-heaving's.

Clenching your fists you let your nails dig into your skin trying your hardest to let the pain yank you out of the attack. But as your palms became slick with blood nothing happened. Opening your eyes you felt a fierce wave of panic come over you as you frantically looked around, trying your hardest to find your way out.

You wanted to lunged towards the door, but you were stuck. The room was so small, you could feel Jason’s legs pressed against yours, your heart began to beat erratically and you swung a bleeding fist towards the door. Weakly banging against it you wanted to cry out but the words caught in your throat. So you decided to try and bang your fist against any and every thing you could, starting with the walls that seemed to be getting closer and closer with every breath.

“Woah, woah, woah. Sweetheart calm down,” Jason remarked grabbing onto your wrist.

You shook your head feeling tears beginning to form in your eyes, hands shaking even harder you felt your entire body begin to shutter. Squeezing your eyes shut you choked back sobs. Pressing your fists your eyes you tried to force back the tears. A heavy feeling cloaked your lungs and it felt as though you were trying to swallow a brick.

You felt hands on your wrists, gently pulling them away from your face. Your eyes flew open and you began to once again look around erratically.

“Hey,” Jason said softly, “hey Y/N, look at me. Hey look at me, Y/N.”

You forced yourself to focus on Jason, he locked gazes with you and then you tried to continue to look for a way out.

“Eyes on me doll,” He stated and you looked back at him, “that’s it, Atta-girl. Now breathe with me, innnnn and outtt.”

He slowly began to breath and you took a deep breath in keeping your eyes on him, then let it out. Jason nodded and you breathed with him for a little while, slowly calming down ever so slightly. Still shaking however much calmer, he let go of your wrists and you clench your fists again.

“Your safe, don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna get us out of here alright?”

At first you didn’t respond, then Jason pressed his forehead against yours and you could see his eyes, you were closer then you’ve ever been before. They were a pretty color, a greenish-blue, though at the moment they looked more green then blue. You also noticed how he had very light freckles across his cheekbones. If you weren’t freaking out you would have blushed, been embarrassed by how close he was, you would have probably taken a mental note about the freckles and how beautiful his eyes were. However, all you could think about was how small the room was.

Very gently touching your forearms, Jason stared you dead in the eyes. “Alright?”

You could only nod and grab onto his shirt in return. He blinked for a moment before his hand was off of your arm and around your waist.

“Is this-”

You nodded once again before he could finish his question, he pulled you in closer, your legs squishing against each others as you pressed you head against his chest and closed you eyes. All you wanted was to get out of there, to be able to breathe and stop panicking. You felt Jason pull you into his lap and then he began banging on the door.

“I swear to fuck that if you to dumbasses don’t open up this damn door I’m going to murder you in your sleep.”

You could hear Tim and Dick quietly talking on the other side of the door. Probably contemplating whether or not they should open up. Merely thinking about the door make your heart pick up pace again and your restarted breathing quickly. Jason hesitated before he banged on the door again shouting,

“If you don’t open this door right fucking now, I’m going to break it down.”

You heard cursing coming from the other side of the door and then a click, your eyes flew open and you watched as the door swung open. Lunging forwards you tumbled out of the closet. Air filled your lungs but you didn't stop there. No, you scrambled to your feet and went barreling out of the library down the stairs and out the door. Once you made it outside you took a deep breath in, fresh air sharply stung your lungs and you nearly collapsed into the grass crying with relief.

It had been a lesson of sorts for you, learn to watch your surroundings... and don’t assume things. You didn’t exactly know what was going on at the warehouse but you did know that despite your previous disbelief, you believed Jason. He was going straight now, staying clean and following Bruce’s rules. Because there was no way he could be nice enough to help you through a panic attack, get you out of a closet and... save your life all while being bad and killing people.

Though you’d never admit it, you might be a little biased, after all you might have a teeny, tiny, eensy-weensy little crush on him. It didn’t help that you found yourself wanting to spend more time with him, of course it wouldn’t be locked in a closet but... it wasn’t so bad. Being alone together.

Blinking you lay down on the grass staring up at the sky, there were no walls here to come in on you, nothing really to suffocate you. Closing your eyes you took in deep breaths and let them out. You heard the sound of a door opening and the grass crunching slightly. Opening your eyes you saw Jason standing above you.

“You okay?”

“Much better now, thank you.” You replied taking in yet another breath

He nodded and looked as if he were about to turn and go when he let out a sigh. Closing your eyes you waited to hear the sound of him leaving, it never happened. Peeking an eye open you found him staring at you.

“You know Penguin asked to meet with me that night. He said it was a peace meeting… turns out he and Scarecrow planned to ambush me.”

You blinked in confusion. You hadn’t told anyone that you saw him in the warehouse and as far as you were concerned everyone thought he just swooped in and rescued you. Something you suddenly realized he was doing a lot of. Why was he explaining what happened to you.

“You didn’t have to tell me that,” You began as you gave him a confused look, “it’s not really my business.”

Jason shrugged then rubbed the back of his head. Nodding he remarked,

“Yeah, but I just thought you should know I am going straight. Following the old man’s rules and all.”

This only confused you more.

“Why? I didn’t tell anyone that you were meeting Penguin, and I wasn’t planning on it.”

Jason shrugged as he turned to leave, pausing for a moment he sighed.

“I don’t know doll, I just don’t like the idea of you seeing me as a bad guy.”

A weird feeling began in your chest, it wasn’t like butterflies or any kind of fluttery things. It was a warm and soft kind of feeling.

Smiling up at him you rolled your eyes and said,

“Well Jason Todd, I could never see you as a bad guy.”

He blinked and then smiled back shaking his head.

“That makes me very happy, Y/N L/N.”

With that he walked away and the warm feeling began to spread from your chest throughout your entire body all the way down to your toes and up to your ears.

It seemed it wasn’t as small of a crush as you wanted to believe. Feeling a slight blush begin on your cheeks, you covered your face as you realized being alone with him wouldn’t be so bad. As long as you were alone together

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meirathinks · 4 years ago

Text

you can tell something that sounds like it

Suguru Geto x reader.

warnings: it’s angst :(( maybe some grammar mistakes?

geto has never lied to you. You tell yourself that he does.

(based off the song happy news for sadness)

╬╬═════════════╬╬

He can never tell the truth.

He can never—

At least, that’s what you told yourself. You'd repeat it over and over, the sick mantra failing to provide any sort of comfort. The dread had slithered from the end of your tongue to the base of your throat and finally cemented itself behind your ribcage: snuggly against your heart.

At first, Geto's presence was warm. His fingertips would dance along your jawline after particularly draining missions, butterfly kisses and the soft flutter of your pulse would follow shortly after. You would look at him with so much endearment. Doe eyes casting a hazy look in his direction while he continued to exchange soft touches for attention.

It was springtime; the nights were supposed to be frosted over. But, as your eyesight shifted from the condensation on the window accentuated by the soft glow of the lamp in Suguru's dorm, you noticed that you'd trade anything to forever feel the way you're feeling now. Geto held himself in a unique way, he was strong, but it differed from Gojo's arrogance. Geto was one of the strongest but he hardly paraded that fact; he instead used that fact to make you feel safe.

You hummed against his throat at the thought, Geto is your protector.

He breathed into your forehead pressing phantom kisses into your skin while sitting on his bed with you. You leaned into his chest while recovering from the latest mission, civilians were injured but none were killed. Still, Geto was ashamed that non-sorcerers had to be involved in such dangerous affairs in the first place.

You can never tell the truth,

but you can tell something that sounds like it

He moved to tug tightly at your hair, urging you to look up at him. His slightly swollen lips parted and shut as if looking for the appropriate thing to say. Geto relented, choosing to ignore the seeds of doubt threatening to be sown.

"You know, I won't let anyone hurt you." His calloused hand moved to squeeze your arm, the condensation dripped down the window.

Suguru is strong. He is your protector.

II.

Geto left. And all that replaced him was the wide-eyed gaze only piteous adults knew. Gentle squeezes on your shoulder and whispering that followed wherever you went.

You were ashamed. His promises that had once left you satisfied had proven to be hollow. His righteousness never wavered.

A voice had tugged at the corner of your mind the day you heard of what had happened in the village. Geto was good, he wanted to see people safe; if you had the chance to confront him you knew he wouldn’t change.

The drip, drip, drip, of your bathroom faucet, prompted you to focus on your reflection above the sink. Hot tears made their way down your cheeks, laboured breaths reverberated in the small space.

Geto would hug you, he'd tell you everything was okay.

Then he'd say he'd protect you.

You smiled at the thought of his domesticity, imagining his hand holding yours, missing the way his thumb would draw circles on the back of your hand.

The faucet continued to drip as you met your own gaze once again.

Dread filled your lungs

Geto killed 100s of people.

Geto always lies.

III.

There was a sharp pound at your door; hollow and calculated. Confusion invaded your senses, today was your day off, no one came to visit you anymore.

Nostalgia racked your body. Back in high school, your dorm was always unlocked, a sort of safe space for your classmates to come and go. Jujutsu tech was a warzone plagued with hopeless violence and your room seemed to be representative of the humanity of your colleagues. Neutral, kind, loving.

Gojo never knocked.

Shoko knocked three times.

And Geto was always four.

Another knock could be heard at your door.

You laughed at yourself for the little piece of hope you had felt. At the fact that you longed to see a murderer again. Maybe it would be Gojo instead? Willfully eating a candy bar while he waited impatiently outside the door of your home.

But Gojo never knocks.

A pounding could be heard at your door once more.

Your spirits lifted— Shoko had come to visit! You had missed her presence and humour, in a way, her spiral was worse than Geto’s. Everyone was convinced that the dark circles under her eyes were going to become a long-term predicament. But, when confronted about her exhaustiveness, a half-drunk Ieiri would always comment on how she was too busy to rest. Nonetheless, Shoko was the only other sorcerer who knew your address.

But no one ever visits.

One more knock.

Your blood ran cold, leaving an icy residue in your veins, your heart was beating in your throat. The absence of the knock hung in the air, your anxiety, your insecurity, your deep-rooted hope that he'd come back to explain had buzzed in its place.

You got up to walk to your door, as your hand lifted to unlock it, you waited.

Just one more. I need to prove it.

Suguru knocked one final time, you opened it as quickly as he expected you would. You wanted him to see the shame that ran deep in your eyes. Though, you hadn't felt the way that you were required to feel as a jujutsu sorcerer.

He met your gaze. You felt your heartbeat hiccup. Tears welled up in your eyes as you felt some sort of emotion bubble up at the base of your chest. Fear, disgust, hope.

"It's been 4 years, Geto."

Suguru grinned softly, a shiny film had covered his eyes. He took a gentle breath.

"Have I mentioned how I've thought about you every day for four years?"

IV.

In his final days at Jujutsu Tech, Geto was a shell of himself. Though he'd always eat the food you presented him in an attempt to curb your worries, you knew his appetite ran thin when he was left to his own devices.

Now, as he stood in your home's kitchen expertly cooking dinner for the both of you for what seemed the umpteenth time, you noticed how much he looked like himself. His hair was as gorgeous as ever (though admittedly longer), he still closed his eyes when he smiled, he still ran his thumb against the back of your hand when he held it.

Yet, he seemed so much happier.

At first, this had prompted anger. Someone like him didn't deserve to feel the joy he displayed.

Geto was a criminal, after all.

The hands of a criminal would cup your cheek and run up and down your back. His criminal voice would hum soft tunes to you in between philosophical conversations in the later hours of the night. His criminal eyes would cast the softest, most loving gaze in your direction. Geto's criminal, cold-blooded, self would whisper I love you over and over again into the crook of your neck until he fell asleep.

And you allowed him to.

You allowed him to look at the civilians with a horrifying disgust, one that sharply contrasted with his previous drive to protect everyone. You watched as his endearing expression would turn to a scowl whenever he talked about them. He'd use a distasteful nickname for non-sorcerers.

"Dirty Monkeys."

You had made sure your voice had matched the iciness of his own as you responded, "Don't use that phrase near me again."

He made a clear effort to exclude all ideological rhetoric from your conversations soon after.

The same voice that pestered you that there was still hope for Suguru had turned against him. It was ironic more than anything, the both of you could never win this sick and twisted game.

The slam of a knife against a chopping board had woken you up from your daydream. You looked up. Eyes scanning the figure of the criminal you had come to love. It was an illicit romance, one between a Jujutsu sorcerer and a cursed user. A romance between two people with differing beliefs.

You took a deep breath, the knife on the chopping board slowed as Getou turned to look at you. His brows were furrowed.

"Is everything okay?"

Your lips formed a tight-lipped smile, tears brimmed your eyes as you looked up to his face from your spot on the kitchen counter.

"Suguru," you swallowed, "we were never supposed to last this long, you know."

You watched his throat bob.

"I'm well aware."

You smiled up at him, a genuine one, twinged with melancholy, "Then you'll understand why I'm asking you to leave."

He nodded silently inching closer to your sitting figure. His hot breath tickled your face, testing the waters. You didn't know what to expect out of the kiss at this moment Maybe rough? Like the late nights you'd spend together after he practically barrelled through the front door, fuming about the day he had just had. Or passionate? You imagined a kiss with sloppy whispers and late apologies said in between the moments you took to catch your breath.

He grabbed your chin in his pointer finger and thumb, he urged your teary eyes to look into his. His lips met yours and he was not passionate, nor was he rough. You didn't see stars, you only felt him.

Geto was soft.

He pulled away, his eyes avoided your own as he breathed softly while taking in your figure one last time.

A sigh could be heard while he moved to the coat rack near your front door. You continued to sit stupidly on the kitchen counter, watching the abandoned knife and vegetables lay limp against the wood of the chopping board.

You heard the shifting of fabric as Geto maneuvered his coat on, "Call me if you need anything."

Suguru's eyes were downcast as he continued, "I love you."

You felt your throat go dry as it bobbed; Suguru closed the door as softly as he could on his way out.

You can never tell the truth,

but you can tell something that sounds like it

You never called him.

Gojo leaned against the wall of the hallways in Jujutsu tech, as he awaited your response.

He quickly grew impatient.

"I said I killed him." You hummed in response, you'd like to imagine that you looked indifferent. You wouldn't let yourself cry, not in front of Gojo, not because of Suguru.

"He had it coming." You willed yourself to say.

As you turned to continue your journey down the hallway, Gojo beckoned you to turn around with a scoff.

"One more thing," He lifted his blindfold to meet your eyes.

"He told me he loved you."

You let out a dry laugh, your fingernails were digging crescents into your palms, "Of course he did."

You walked down the empty hallway, leaving Gojo to his own thoughts. Heavy breaths could be heard as you attempted to calm yourself down. Why would Geto say that?

Then you remembered.

He can never tell the truth.

He can never—

#geto suguru x reader #geto suguru #getou suguru x reader #gojo satoru #suguru geto x reader #suguru geto #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru x reader #shoko ieiri #yuji itadori #fushiguro megumi #self indulgent #getou suguru

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 3 years ago

Note

i saw your post about Charles and what his personality past and part in the story line so i was wondering if u could do the same for vlad? :)

Ah, well, I can at least let you know what I’ve seen so far? I haven’t delved too far into Vlad, and some of his general impressions can be confusing, so I’ll do my best to make it sensible and unbiased! Here you go lovely <33333

Fair warning, there will be mentions of a lot of JPN app content since Vlad and his boys aren’t around much in the ENG app yet.

My general sense of Vlad is basically discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha.

What I mean by this is to say–according to what I’ve read so far–his clan/family were murdered by vampire hunters in cold blood when he was just a young boy. Presumably as a result of that traumatic event, he harbors a sizable enmity towards humanity and kind of lashes out on them in weirdly specific moments of violence. Another aspect of his motivation is something that’s mentioned within Comte’s route; which is that Vlad went through the timespace door on his own one day and allegedly saw a devastated future, where nothing remains of life on earth more or less.

I guess the reason I find him to be so perplexing is that he speaks about his actions in terms of efficiency, while most of the things he does just feel like unhappy outbursts (v often a product of unresolved trauma symptoms, I’d wager.) I also say this because he appears to have no larger pattern to his fury beyond the original event of his loss. Most of the human beings he attacks aren’t much of a threat to him and hurting them really doesn’t bring him any dividends beyond revenge.

For instance, he insists his disdain for humanity and insistence on controlling them is for the sake of ensuring they do not destroy the future–the horrifying wasteland he witnessed when he traveled through the timespace door. However, I’m not really sure how his current movements really speak to that goal? I mean sure, maybe he’s relying on Faust to create an immortal human so that humans will be forced to care because it will be their future too, but he doesn’t allow Faust to draw his pureblood blood for experimenting. (One can most certainly argue this was more about a lack of trust, and perhaps for plenty reason: Faust is vindictive enough to try to turn the tables and exert control over Vlad, or act on his own whims with his findings.) But if that’s the solution he’s waiting on, turning the rivals of the men in the mansion doesn’t really bring him any closer to that vision either? I mean, what good does it do to bring back Gilles de Rais–a prominent French serial killer? How would unleashing him on the populace help humanity “realize the error of it’s short-sighted and wasteful ways” and move to a brighter future?

Can’t help it, I ask these questions as I read.

In Comte’s main story, Comte hammers home that Vlad is not somebody to be taken lightly. One day when MC goes out to buy flowers, Vlad poses as a human florist to sell them to her–which is how Comte finds out he’s in France, and that he’s made contact with MC. When prompted, Comte describes him in a very particular way; and I think people really overlook this when they talk about their relationship. He says that Vlad is frighteningly pure in terms of the way he thinks and acts. The way I understood his description (given what I’ve seen of Vlad) is that Comte really does mean it point blank: Vlad is very simple in terms of why and how he does things. The issue with this is that nuance and context are lost on Vlad as well–and that’s where the problems start to flood in. Vlad is angry at humanity for what they’ve done to him. Baseline? That’s fair, they killed his damn family. However, Vlad thinks that by extension he has the right to decimate the general public and attack people completely uninvolved in his hurt.

And that isn’t right either–it’s ignoring so many factors here. He’s ignoring how much vampires use and toy with humans as pawns, it’s ignoring the massive power imbalance between him and his victims (this really isn’t a case of self-defense most of the time, nobody but Comte/Leo is a sizable threat to him), and he’s ignoring whether or not a person even did anything to deserve his retributive violence. While murder is never okay, it is perhaps more understandable when we see Jeanne’s frenzied and violent belligerence in response to a man who murders a boy’s mother for the sake of his own amusement/convenience. Vlad literally sees almost every single one of the rivals he created begin to heal/improve and murders them in cold blood because they are no longer of any use to him. That’s uh……..that’s a little messed, not gonna lie to you chief.

While part of me understands the efficiency here–he doesn’t want to leave any traces of his involvement, he doesn’t want any loose ends–it’s also just kind of foolish and cruel ultimately. From my understanding of the narrative, all the people he turned had some visible sign that indicated their origin to Comte. So even if he claims it was for the sake of concealment, it was more likely about his personal convenience. Which…..also yikes.

[Comte clearly does not trust Vlad to be reasonable, and I think there’s plenty of good reason enumerated above, but I actually don’t sense quite so much hatred? I think he’s just given up on the idea of Vlad growing up, even if he doesn’t like giving up on people. And considering Vlad’s behavior, I think it’s overkill to say that Comte just abandons him because he doesn’t care lmao. Even when Comte expresses real anger at the end of his own route, it was more because Vlad was fine with endangering MC’s life just to get back at him. I think Comte’s unhappiness with Vlad has more to do with Vlad’s treatment of human life as meaningless and worthless. It’s fascinating but also kind of sad? Vlad’s traumatic experience results in behavior that is a direct exacerbation of Comte’s trauma, and as such--no matter their potentially fond history--they can’t stomach each other.]

In Comte’s route, Vlad also has Shakespeare abduct MC and take her to the cathedral. Later on in the castle, we see an immediate display of Vlad’s shocking powers: he has the ability to manipulate people’s desires/thoughts. I’m not exactly sure how this works, but he is able to give MC visions of the mansion and Comte coming on to her–which shocks her into realizing it’s all just a dream. It’s not reality; it’s all manufactured by Vlad.

After that...weird introductory note...Vlad gives MC the rundown on his life together with Comte, which as always is subject to a question of bias. My assumption is that he did not lie, only because he was trying to convince MC that he was “right.” Furthermore, he does not omit the most damning evidence of his erroneous judgement, which suggests a continued inability for him to see where he went wrong.

We get a series of three flashbacks. The first is them as young kids. I don’t know if Vlad had already experienced the horrors of his family being destroyed, but this particular flashback focuses on Comte. His parents, in an effort to teach him that vampires and humans have no ability to co-exist, send away all of his teachers/mentors/nannies/the servants--pretty much everyone and anyone he was closely bonded to. Think about it this way: we can see that Comte is very sociable and affectionate by nature. He was living in a house full of people, all of whom cared about him and looked after him in their own way. Now the house is entirely empty. Naturally Comte is very very upset, and Vlad appears to try to cheer him up with little success.

[When I look back on this scene I don’t think I initially registered the sheer dissonance of Vlad’s reaction, versus Comte’s catatonic misery. There was a very solemn feeling to that memory, and the correct choice in terms of extending comfort is to hold his hand believe it or not. There is a sense that he feels very alone. When young boy Vlad enters one can argue that it was the proper thing to do; he was trying to cheer up his playmate and friend. But at the same time, I think I need to double check. Because I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong. What if Vlad was happy to see someone as alone as him, and that joy is accordingly dissonant for that reason? He can’t see what Comte needs or how he’s hurting because he’s so glad he isn’t alone anymore in a way.]

The second flashback is the war nurse scene that I have spoken at length about. The important thing to focus on here is Vlad’s surprise that Comte would opt out of turning her out of respect for her wishes. The way Vlad frames the situation is starkly different from Comte’s. Comte sees himself as an outsider, somebody who invaded her life as a result of the timespace door and therefore has no right to suddenly change the course of her fate. He had no idea if she even wanted to live (considering the horrors she’d have to cope with and remember) or leave that time period at all, for that matter (considering the only thing keeping her going was helping the wounded/victims). Comte really was listening to everything she had to say, and he was taking her concerns and motivations seriously.

Vlad simply says: if you want her, take her. It’s as simple as that for him. And in one way that’s not entirely wrong--assuming Comte would have every intention of looking after her and actually cares a lot about her. But what’s being ignored here is her agency and the fact that they really don’t know each other that well? Something like that could begin and be rocky, if it doesn’t end in complete disaster. Worse, I get the feeling Vlad is perfectly fine with the notion of turning her and if things don’t work out, just kill her or get rid of her. Again, the simplistic thinking comes into play here: it ultimately comes down to Vlad being self-centered. He’s thinking only in terms of satisfying his needs, he doesn’t seem to have any concept of a larger pair or group feeling. There’s an inability to bend/be flexible for the sake of maintaining a greater harmonious feeling.

[For the record, I don’t think this makes him irredeemable? Only that it makes it very hard to live with him or love him, probably. There’s an inability to live at a joint pace? It’s always answering to what he wants without room for anything else most of the time, which to me is not living and it’s not love ;;;;]

Following their escape back to their own time, Vlad explains how he wants to use the door to turn geniuses and control humanity. He eventually wants to create a surveillance state, which would mean everyone is forced to move with his explicit approval, more or less. (He almost reminds me of Louis XIV, can’t tell if that’s what they were going for.) I have my doubts that his abilities could extend that far, but human history shows us that we are plenty susceptible to fascist and totalitarian rhetoric. In a shocking display of anger, Comte draws the line at controlling humanity and forcing them into a regime in which, and this is Vlad’s description not mine, “we (purebloods) would be like kings.” There’s definitely a concept of evolutionary superiority at play here, which echoes what I mentioned earlier; vampires seem to have this awareness that they’re apex predators in a sense, and enjoy the power that comes with that. Unfortunately, that probably makes for a fairly toxic/uncomfortable larger species culture, which is exactly what Comte and Leo hate lmao.

Vlad does not seem to find any issue with this sort of outlook, and asks MC to decide which of them--Vlad or Comte--is right. Who is more realistic, who best understands the future? As expected the MC replies that it's Comte, and Vlad goes from beseeching to big mad at record speed. He's p much that gif of the teddy bear that smacks its head down on the tables and then has the angry eyebrows.

This is where Comte intervenes, firing a warning shot that grazes Vlad's cheek and demanding he let MC go. In response, Vlad shoves MC into the turbulent timespace door--p much guaranteeing MC's death. (Essentially timespace is a void of sorts, a human being could never survive in that environment for long. Vlad fully knew this, and yeeted her anyway.)

So uh, yeah. Disagreement? Death. Moving on? Death. Nuanced approach to reality? Death. Beginning to think he doesn't really have a lot of patience or open-mindedness or any other kind of problem-solving approach.

He raises flowers and gardens like a fiend, and he openly plucks any single flower with a blemished leaf. Even if a single petal is slightly damaged, it will be removed and destroyed. So one could argue his extremism reflects a kind of perfectionism as well. No room for errors or troublesome dissent. No ugliness of any kind. I mean in all of his interactions with Faust and Charles this is the overt undertone. Don't ask more of me than I'm willing to give. Behave like good children, mommy's busy. Is that insubordination? boss music begins

One thing I actually don't understand very well is his decision making in Dazai's route. Dazai finds out about what Vlad's doing in a nanosecond when he senses MC is in danger, and yet Vlad makes absolutely no move to eliminate Dazai? He just watches from the shadows. Even when Dazai grills Charles about his loyalty to Vlad, no retribution.

My best guess for this specific situation is that Vlad does derive some level of satisfaction thwarting the future of human beings/former humans. Dazai--being somebody with no great desire to live, no rivals to speak of as far as we can tell, and no larger aspirations--is a life that is easily extinguished. There's no satisfaction in it. When Vlad's clan was murdered and he saw the future decimated, it could be that he felt humans had invaded and eradicated every potentiality that was important to him. Where he might have lived happily with his family, that future was ripped from his grasp. Where he might enjoy his flowers and the creation of an immortal for the rest of conceivable time, that too was ripped from his grasp with a desolate future.

So much about who Vlad is is about control, so it's very possible his lashing out is an extension of that. Dazai does not awaken any of the disdain he feels, and he does not succeed in overthrowing Vlad's control over Charles, so Vlad simply lurks in silence.

And last but not least, I've seen the preview to Vlad's newest birthday event story. The contents are incredibly revealing, in that MC wishing him a happy birthday and offering him a gift has him saying that it was "the best birthday ever." Granted idk if that’s sweet or just...beyond sad, but here we are. It’s only compounding my curiosity about the wound on his chest--I really do wonder if he was attacked and locked away by vampire hunters or hostile human beings or something. I say that only because that line speaks to a lot of isolation, and given how little he seems to care about turning people/subjecting them to his whims it feels odd. Why the isolation or lack of people who care about him? Is it a perceived lack where his actions alienated all the people who wanted to be close to him, or is it a more involuntary lack?

When she says let’s celebrate again next year, he seems a pleasantly shocked by the notion, and remarks “Ah yes, it’s a promise c:”. The preview was also mega horny: “You make me feel so loved, I don’t think I can be gentle with you tonight. If you enjoy it so much, then I won’t stop. I want to see you completely lost for me. I’ll teach your body what it means to be loved by a pureblood.” Aaaaaand pretty sure the CG was alluding to him licking the good stuff from her basement, though not entirely sure given it was only the preview.

The brief POV they give us is also very revealing:

“You always keep your promises, and I think I underestimate all the time how much you saved me. You are good, only you are good in this world.”

“Will we continue to make promises to each other in the future? Well in that case--you will always, always be mine, my vampire.”

Tbh he’s...v sweet? In his own way? Honestly he feels like a crabapple that is just so sick of the world and wants softe wife to take comfort in. While granted that’s not really my thing, I know a fanbase appeal exists for these types--so if that’s your thing, have at it!

So now that we have reached the end of my ridiculously long analysis (when am I ever brief, I’m so sorry. If you made it all the way here you deserve a cookie at the very least, if not the right to chase me with a bat) perhaps it’s more clear why I said discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha? “My clan is gone, every other second I’m going to be in retraumatization insanity, when I’m not I’ll be seeking power/hobbies, planning the demise of people who wanted the best for me, building a team to my advantage and unquestioned control, and eventually settling for a lifelong love who sees the best in me despite my more difficult moments and perceived hollowing loneliness. Not the most ideal comparison, but I will say if Vlad was not already named the historical figure, would have pointed and yelled Uchiha.

That’s all from me folks, hopefully this was a fun way to get introduced to him? And again, hope I didn’t alienate--I fully respect what people do and don’t enjoy o7

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp meta #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp faust #ikevamp charles #ikevamp dazai #i hope this was helpful!#i had too much fun writing it jkahlgkjhgdf i love meta #but thank you for submitting <33333 #oh discount vampire sasuke uchiha we really in it now #rambles #not incorrect quotes

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downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles · 4 years ago

Text

We Met Within This Screen (chapt. 4)

[Donnie x fem reader]

sfw, chapt. 3, pt. 4 here

Sighing, you set your phone face-down after sending your last text to Bo. What an abrupt end to something that had been so good. You were confused, a little taken aback and honestly sad. You'd thought the two of you were getting along well. Bo was smart, well-spoken, funny, and all around, a really nice person. He listened to your venting and seemed like he had a response to everything. Always, he had some random fact to hit you with whether it was about biology, chemistry, astronomy, language—you weren't sure where he got all his knowledge from. He'd never mentioned school, if he went. He didn't mention a lot about himself, actually.

People come and go, someone had once told you. You guessed that he was one of those passersby, as much as you wanted it to be more.

More?

When had you started thinking that? More what?

You were tempted to pick your phone back up, to check and see if there were any new messages. Not that you could expect much; Bo had been so curt about his exit from your friendship that it was left at his last text, "Again, I'm sorry." You wanted to say something, but what was there to say? It was his decision. A sudden, uncharacteristic, and frankly odd decision, but still, his. Thinking back on it, you tried to remember any instance you might have crossed a line, or maybe said something you shouldn't have. That's what made you open up the messages again, scrolling up and up and looking for anything weird, but finding nothing of the sort. It had all been normal up until when you texted him about the clamor you'd heard outside your apartment building. And then it went flat—he didn't even respond to it, just said his apology and his goodbye before going offline.

You wanted to take your mind off it with a game, but as you looked through your list and saw the one you and him had played together, you knew it was near ruined for you. It just wasn't the same to play alone or with your acquaintances. An otherwise boring game made fun by one particular person, but now it was barely what it used to be.

Unfortunate.

The next morning might have felt more normal if it weren't for the fact that everyone was pretending like it was. For the sake of secrecy from their father. As far as Donnie knew, Splinter still didn't know anything was or had been going on, and he intended to keep it that way, too. He wanted to tell his father, he did, but all he saw coming of that was reprimanding, or at the very least an awkward discussion, and possibly, time in the Hashi. He was already feeling the aftermath of his actions; he didn't need any more. Especially as he checked the messaging app one last time, only to find it empty, aside from her goodbye.

Donnie stood at the kitchen counter, mask off and groggy as usual, scrounging for something to eat. Maybe a cup of coffee (if they had any), which he was looking for when Mikey bounced in. Normally, his brothers would avoid him when he was in one of his "moods". He hadn't a passionate temper like Raph but a slow-brewing one, the kind that festers until it's alleviated or boils over. Cold quiet was his thing.

But Donnie knew why he was here. So did Mikey. He had that familiar glint of mischief in his eye.

There was no coffee, so he settled for some kind of pastry they'd found while looking through the dumpsters. Really, the item was fine—only the packaging and appearance was defective. It was a wonder just how much food grocers wasted over arbitrary reasons, but regardless, he was happy to oblige his secret sweet tooth.

From the corner of his eye he could see Mikey waiting eagerly for him to turn around and regard him. To listen to whatever he was about to talk his ear off with. Their youngest brother was more often than not bright-eyed in the morning, something Donnie's morning fog could not always entertain. He picked at his food at the counter for a moment, mind wandering back to his night and subsequently, the unresolved feelings. Dreadfully unresolved, he groaned inside. And they probably would continue to be, as after sleeping on what had happened the previous night, thinking about her, he realized something that made his face flush. Oh, no.

He froze in his place, suddenly very awake. He looked over his shoulder and found Mikey was distracted rummaging through the food for his own breakfast, and with a faint cringe, tried to sneak out of the kitchen undetected. No way would he admit to Mikey's words on the rooftop that night, the ones that made him flinch with embarrassment. The same ones that bounced around his head despite all attempts to stuff it down. "You like her, bro."

Things involving him could never be simple, could they?

Abandoning his plate, Donnie began tip-toeing out of the room right behind Mikey. His foot hit the leg of a chair and caused a creak—he winced. As he thought, Mikey looked back, "Why are you sneaking around? You didn't finish your breakfast. Can't go on patrol on an empty stomach, dude."

Before Donnie could even answer, he continued in a whisper, "Plus—"

"Whatever it is, Mikey, not now," he cut his brother off, "last night was the end of it, alright? You need to let it go." It sounded harsher than he would have preferred, but he felt the need to drill it into Mikey's skull that it was over, that it was just something he'd have to deal with. There were a lot of things they dealt with despite not liking it. With time, he'd forget—more accurately, be able to ignore— and maybe he could find the same enjoyment in his brothers once again. That sort of friendship. But at the moment, it was ruined for him—he got a taste of something more and it was taken away what felt like second later.

Mikey's face fell. Donnie couldn't stand that, seeing him upset over something he'd said. He had a bit of a soft spot for their youngest, no doubt. Just wasn't always obvious.

"Aren't you afraid you'll regret it?" he asked, voice soft.

Fear was a strong word, but of course Donnie was anxious. It was the thing holding him back from being able to simply compartmentalize everything, to put it in a box and on the metaphorical "deal with this later because it's uncomfortable right now" shelf. Or to deal with it at all, as ignoring his problems with studying and unrelated research and experimentation wasn't exactly prime management. He knew that.

After a while of thought, Donnie was able to give him an answer. "Well…I mean, how could I not be?" he inquired in return before leaning out of the doorway to scan the lair. Everyone was either in their room, the dojo, or there, in the kitchen. Mikey has always made him feel most comfortable, and he was sure that was the case for the other three, just that they had other ways of showing it. He was certainly easy to talk to; if Donnie weren't so careful of his mouth and what came out of it, he could probably spew way more to him than he liked. Mikey could come through sometimes, though, which prompted him to keep going, "It was a big thing for me. We've been disconnected from everything else for so long that it was just...exciting, to get a look into what it's like. Being 'regular', you know?"

Mikey sat down on one of the bar stools, feet idly shuffling against the floor as he folded his arms and rested on them. "You didn't hear it from me, but I'm a little jealous," he said playfully, but Donnie was aware that it was the case. "Maybe I'm pushing you to go after her because I'm trying to live vic–vicrous–v–…"

Donnie smiled, he couldn't help it. "'Vicariously'?" he suggested.

"Yeah! That," Mikey beamed, nodding. "You get what I mean."

"I understand."

The conversation died off soon after as Donnie decided to get breakfast over with and do whatever needed to be done before they left for patrol that night, darkness falling earlier due to the upcoming winter. It wasn't too cold for them to be out yet, though, so that still meant a chilly patrol in the Autumn breeze. He hated the cold.

As Donnie was making himself busy at a circuit board in his lab, he heard the beads in the doorway shift, and to his surprise, Splinter came shuffling in.

"Sensei?"

He put down his soldering iron, spinning around in his chair. "Something the matter?"

Splinter ran his fingers along a shelf on the wall as he wandered by, careful to not disturb any of the items lining it. Beakers, recently-repaired electronic parts, projects put on pause, things that would loathe to be broken.

"There is always something," Splinter replied enigmatically, "I would not be here if that weren't true. Would you agree?"

I'm compromised!

Donnie had a strong but hidden dislike for vague speaking, even if he did it himself sometimes. When spoken to you it's much more bothersome.

Splinter waited for his answer, looking at him expectantly. "Donatello?"

"Yeah, um…yes, I would—I would agree. I suppose. So...what is it again?" Damn his stutter, he couldn't get away with anything, hardly. He was only able to stifle it just enough.

Picking a random pipette on the desk next to Donnie, Splinter studied the green liquid close for a second before his nose twitched, and he put it back down. "You have been very busy lately, it seems. What is it that you work on all day in here? Or are you playing games?"

Donnie's heart thumped. His hand found that particular spot on his neck and began to scratch, and Splinter looked at him dead in the eye. He should have known; there was no hiding anything from their father, he was too good. Stupidly, infuriatingly perceptive. Donnie caught himself scratching that spot and slid his hand away, he hadn't even noticed he was picking at it again. He knows, Mikey told him, I probably look like a guilty idiot right now, I'm—

"I haven't been playing games," Donnie blurted out.

Quizzically, Splinter gestured at the computer screen on the other wall, which had the menu of the game he'd opened up just earlier. Reminiscing over it even though it had been only a couple of days since he and his friend had last played together, but he stared at the screen as if it had been years. It made him realize how easily he'd gotten attached to that. Well, to her. He was on the fence about whether he wanted to try playing again or not and left it on.

Oh, you have to be kidding. I'm a fool in a man's shoes.

Donnie laughed uncomfortably, "You caught me, Sensei," he said, "I guess I have been playing games more often lately."

It was honest enough, right?

Splinter hummed and cupped his hands behind his back. "I see."

Straightening out, Donnie dipped his head a little. "I'll...lay off on them. Sorry for lying. I've just been really distracted recently."

"Liars never prosper, my son. Take care of yourself."

He then left.

So he didn't know. Donnie still couldn't say it with any degree of confidence, because Splinter would trip them up here and there, but it was assurance enough to know that if Splinter was aware of what had gone on between the four brothers and his new—rather, former—human friend, he would have confronted Donnie about it. Or all of them, considering it was now a secret they were all in on actively hiding. And on top of that, Raph and Leo didn't know Mikey was conspiring. Layers and layers, he sighed.

With Splinter gone, he let out a breath of relief. Too close. Much. But, swiftly evaded. A chuckle left him, not of humor, but more because he was actually feeling a little confident. Just a little. They were really hiding something from Splinter; it was reason enough to pat himself on the back, nothing got past Splinter. Except for him.

Briefly, he thought of Mikey's outlandish idea as he spun back around in his chair. "Mikey, you are crazy," he mumbled to himself as he took his soldering iron, resuming his work from before. "But..."

Chapter 5

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buckyownsmylife · 4 years ago

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v e l o c i t y - final chapter

The one where John’s your true mate, but he doesn’t want you to be his.

In a universe where fate grants you a new mate whenever you lose yours, John has lived quite comfortably for many years with the knowledge that he was alone after Mary. That all comes crumbling down the second that he meets you. How could the universe choose someone so young to be his omega?

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

A/N: this is it, everyone. Thanks for hanging out this far! I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride 😘

John’s P.O.V.

I knew something was wrong even before I left her. A wendigo just a two-hour drive away, should be a quick job and one I didn’t think she was quite ready for yet, so I took the boys and trusted her to be alone in the bunker for a little while.

I hadn’t anticipated the job to take over a day. I hadn’t anticipated having to sleep away from her body for the first time since I relented and allowed myself to get close to her.

But I particularly hadn’t anticipated the effect this first physical separation would have on the both of us, like it was our body’s way of punishing me for not claiming the woman who was meant for me.

Of course, my cells couldn’t tell I hadn’t really abandoned her. To them, I was ignoring everything my instincts wanted. I couldn’t really tell my own body everything was going to be alright because all it knew was that I couldn’t scent my unmated omega, and that was against every Alpha’s nature.

“Dad, are you alright?” I turned to stare at Dean, who was frowning up at me from where he was sat on the motel’s couch, trying to help Sam find out something about this damn thing we’d been hunting.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” I scoffed, not interested in letting my kids see behind the mask of control I always put on. “Keep reading, we gotta get to the bottom of this.”

But my voice faltered, catching Sam’s otherwise occupied attention. He glanced up at me quickly before doing a double-take, concern written all over his features.

“Dad, you don’t look so good,” he pointed out, and the uneasiness inside of me had me aggressively growling at him, wanting to get this over with so I could go back to my omega.

“Boy, just fucking do your research, will ya?” I pointed towards the computer, waving my arms around before I decided to take out my jacket, sweat pouring out of me and making my shirt stick to my chest.

I could hear Sam’s unimpressed hum, but I was trying very hard not to take out on them this feeling of distress that was raising inside of me, so I decided to ignore it.

“Alright,” Sam conceded, even if I could still hear the disbelief in his tone. “But if you’re like this, can you imagine what she must be going through right now?”

The thought had me freezing, worry consuming my every thought. I hadn’t considered that before he suggested it to me, and just that fact had guilt burning my stomach, the knowledge that I had failed as her Alpha cutting through me.

“I have to get to her.” My hands were already reaching for the car keys, I could see the boys nodding from my peripheral vision. “I have to go home.”

They stayed behind as I went to the door, Dean awkwardly waving while reminding me to come pick them up once we were “settled”. “There’s no way I’m going to that bunker while they’re like this,” I heard him say to Sam, and I can’t say that I minded.

I couldn’t even think about it. All that mattered was my girl, and how quickly I could get to her.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I don’t think I’d ever felt agony such as this. Sweat covered every inch of my body, my fingers incessantly working my clit as I shook with the need to feel John near me.

It took me by surprise, this overwhelming urge to cum, a desperate calling from deep within my bones that took me to his bedroom before I could even rationalize it. Buried in his sheets, it was almost possible to pretend that he was here.

Almost.

I just wish that I was able to hold myself together for long enough to call him, let him know of my state. As it were, I couldn’t stop touching myself for long enough to do anything. All I could think about was my need to be filled, my need to be claimed, fucked, owned in every possible way.

I knew the smell of my wetness was almost unbearable by now, taking over the entire bunker in an effort to call for my alpha. I almost pitied the boys once they returned to find me like this, but right now, I couldn’t care. This need had me drenching his bedsheets and all that was left for me to do was hope and pray that John was coming home soon.

Seconds melted away into hours while I stood there, delirious in desire, hopeless in need. The only sounds I could detect in the empty bunker were of my own overwhelming wetness as I slowly fucked myself to an unsatisfying orgasm, over and over and over again.

So when the door opened up to reveal a distressed and disheveled John, I honestly thought I would cry.

“Jo-Alpha,” I moaned, overcome with excruciating longing. Now that he was here, my body suddenly relaxed before my muscles became tense again, all at once. “I need you.”

And I truly did. The scent of him was enough to calm me down for a millisecond before it turned up the need in my omega nature, calling out to him so he’d finally do what both of our bodies so desperately needed.

“I came as fast as I could,” he admitted, hands making quick work of his own clothes, and the relief I felt inside of me as I realized he wasn’t going to fight this anymore was simply unbelievable. “As soon as I realized…” He didn’t finish himself then, almost falling over as he tripped on his jeans, eager to get closer to me, his body as needy for mine as I was for him.

“I couldn’t handle imagining you suffering half as much as I was, ‘mega.” He climbed the bed still half-dressed, even if only in his boxers, but the second that his skin touched mine, I was thankful for it.

It was enough to calm down my cells - for now. He rubbed his nose against my scent gland, sending the signal it needed to understand that everything was okay, my Alpha was here now.

“I’m sorry that I left,” he whispered against my skin, body molding against mine until I felt pleasantly suffocated by his weight. “I should have known better. Should have known I’d be hurting us both.”

Now that he was here and I could feel his warmth, the pain had faded away, leaving only the overwhelming need to be filled. I didn’t want to hear his excuses, I knew he didn’t mean to hurt me this time.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” I assured him, hands traveling down the expanse of his large back to reach for his boxers. “Just fuck me.” A growl escaped John at my request, driving me even crazier with need. “Fuck me, please, Alpha,” I begged. “I can’t take this anymore.”

I wasn’t exaggerating. I was about to lose my damn mind. And when John pushed away just enough to connect his eyes to mine, analyzing my state, and whispered, “I’m not gonna be able to hold back,” the whine that escaped me was barely even human.

It seemed to be exactly what he wanted to hear though, because it led him to press open-mouthed, wet kisses against my cheek, trailing down my jaw and neck until he was right over my scent gland, lips engulfing it.

“I’m gonna ruin you, little girl.” Whimpering, I desperately rubbed my drenched cunt against the boner still covered by his boxers, all while he took a hold of my wrists and pinned them to the bed. “And you’re gonna love it.”

I had no doubts about it. When his lips met mine, drowning me in his kiss, I gave myself completely to him, fully immersed in the dance our mouths performed, distracted from the overwhelming emptiness that I felt for just a second.

“Let me make you feel good, baby girl.” It was a new pet name that he’d been using for a few weeks, and it always made me instantly wet. Hearing it in this context though, had me going absolutely feral.

John’s P.O.V.

My hands roamed all over her perfect body, unable to believe that I finally had it completely exposed to my gaze. I silently thanked myself for having let the lights on when I walked into the room, desperate to calm her down. It allowed me to fully take in the beauty underneath me, about to become completely mine.

“Fuck,” I breathed out as I filled my hands with her breasts. “This all for me, ‘mega?” She just whined, nodding slowly as I licked my lips in explicit hunger. She was so soft. And she became even softer as her muscles relaxed underneath my touch, her body finally surrendering to her Alpha.

“There you go, little girl…” I grunted in appreciation, slowly unglueing our bodies so I could stare down at where she was sticky and taunting. “’Ve been dying to taste you.” It came out more as a mumble as I thought out loud, crawling backward to reach her sensitive little pussy.

The scent of her was overwhelming, begging me to reach out and dive right in, but just before I could, she seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was in, fingers wrapping on on my hair and pulling hard as she fought.

“No!” Caught by surprise, I pushed her down by the inside of her thighs, forcing her to spread them open, letting me take in the beautiful sight of her wetness despite the burn on my scalp.

“Just a little taste, baby girl…” I negotiated, tongue already stretching to reach her, take in her sweetness. She was as delicious as I’d expected, and it was impossible not to go back for seconds, bury my face against her hole, try to get as much of her juices as I possibly could.

“Please, please, stop!” She argued, desperate to be filled, but I wasn’t done with her yet. So I tapped two fingers against her pouty lips, still licking away at her pussy.

“Open up.” It took her a while to did as I told, but as soon as she obeyed, allowing me to run my digits over her lips, I buried those two fingers inside her mouth, silencing her complaints so I could peacefully eat out this cunt like I wanted to.

A light bite had me inhaling sharping, wishing I had enough self-control to bury my cock in her mouth, make her choke on it, but that would be for later. “Behave,” I ordered, going back to sloppily eating her out.

It didn’t take too long for her to flood my mouth with her essence, which was everything I wanted and the last thing missing for me to completely snap. Chest heaving, I leaned down to cover her neck with my hand, tilting her face to the side so I could look at where I wanted to leave my mark on her.

“Are you ready, omega?” She opened her eyes then, almost out of it as she blinked rapidly to be able to focus on me. When she did, taking in the image of me hovering over her, my cock finally out, she immediately started whining.

“Please, Alpha, please!” I couldn’t take it anymore and I knew she didn’t, either. So I connected her lips to mine one more time, and stuffed my dick inside of her, thankful that the overwhelming wetness helped me push it in without much problem.

I would not have been able to be patient. The second the head of my cock breached her, her tightness was so staggering that I audibly hissed, needing to part from her mouth to try to get some control over my own body but quickly realizing I’d lose that battle.

My hips started acting on their own accord, thrusting in and out of her while she gasped and clawed at my back, ecstatic comments of, “Fuck,” and “Yes,” slipping from her lips.

“So fucking tight,” I groaned, watching where we were joined in fascination. “But we fit so well.” The sounds of her drenched cunt swallowing my dick were only adding to my arousal, getting me to fuck her faster and harder with each thrust.

“You were meant to take me, little girl,” I panted over her, riding us both to our highs, desperate to get her to cum for me again, this time around my cock. “This is where you belong now, huh? Right here, underneath me, filled by my dick.”

Feeling her from the inside, witnessing just how tight she was while still being able to fuck her just showed me how much we really were made for each other. Shame washed over me as I thought back on how much I tried to fight this. “Cum for me, baby girl,” I softly whispered, taking in her blissed expression, trying to distract myself from the guilt. “Cum for your Alpha.”

Her body went taut underneath me, unable to disobey my direct order, but it was clear that she had reached her limit anyway. She looked so good with her eyes screwed shut and mouth hanging open, gasping for air and moaning at the same time, that I didn’t want to look away, but a pressing urge was clawing at me, and I knew it would soon take over.

It was time to claim her.

My mouth settled over her scent gland, engulfing it completely as my teeth marked her for the world to see. Her screams of pleasure became laced with pain, but the way she held me down to her body let me know she was enjoying this, as painful as it was.

When it was done, my pace changed to a slower rhythm, trying to get used to this new bond, the way I felt her pleasure intertwined in mine.

“Finally,” she joked a little breathlessly, making me laugh as I nuzzled her neck. “Does it still feel wrong to you?” I knew she was trying to pass it off as teasing, but the emotion was clear in her tone - and I could feel her vulnerability now.

Opening up a smile, I pecked her lips before assuring her, “Nothing has ever felt this right.” I knew she was feeling sensitive, but I could also feel her need for more, her need for me rising. She needed my knot, and I was going to give it to her.

Tears had started to flow down her cheeks, but her smile let me know it was more happiness than anything else. So I kissed away the wet paths they left behind as I kept rutting in and out of her, knowing there was absolutely no way of stopping myself from spilling inside her tight warm cunt.

Her body instinctively pulled away, trying to escape my knot, but I pulled her closer, burying myself as far as I could reach while nuzzling the mark that announced her as mine. “Oh, you’re not going anywhere, omega.”

At the sound of her title, she finally relaxed, just as I began filling her up, my mouth rebranding her all over again. “You belong to me now,” I sighed, resting my head on her chest as her hands wrapped around my back.

It was quiet in the room then, both of us catching our breaths and relishing in each other’s presence, knowing we’d never feel alone again. I kissed her temple as I adjusted us so she’d be laying on my chest, my knot still settled deep inside of her when I started to caress her skin.

“I hope you’re ready, little girl,” I teased. “We’ll be spending a lot of time like this from now on.” I could feel her smile against me, giving me a quick kiss before retorting, “You may be surprised to know this, John Winchester, but I really don’t mind the idea of spending the rest of my life in this bed with you.”

#my series #john winchester x reader #john winchester reader #john winchester reader insert #john winchester reader inserts #alpha! john winchester #winchester fanfic #john winchester fanfiction #john winchester fics

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the-darklings · 3 years ago

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I don't want to sound rude at all or like I'm telling you how to write your story, I'm just spilling my thoughts! :)

You write Santi so well, but how you truly like making him suffer in all of this angst is so ironic and I can't even explain it 🥺 Do you think him and V deserve a good ending with each other or V will let herself freely fall for grumpy? During the last few chapters, her emotions and feeling became clear and clear, especially with the gallery scene and after Santino got shot. How she hugged their joined hands to her chest always gets me emotional. (A normally non-emotional + Slytherin person speaking here) 🥲 She balances Santino in an excellent way and she is never afraid of giving him a piece of her mind.

I write as well and I can see the conflict and the hardships V going through. In my heart, I want her to rest and live her life a little bit after what happened with Tarasov and John. She is so so strong that it makes me with all the good things in the world for her.

If you think he’s suffering now, just you wait : )

But, I will say this: everyone in COA deserves to be free and happy, especially the main three. They all had their own arcs of struggles/suffering through their private obstacles, usually at hands of someone else. Obviously Santino’s story is just my interpretation of his past/motives in what was an attempt to give him a compelling arc overall.

I also think it goes without saying that Santino & V are very compatible - that’s been shown time and time again in multiple ways. However, I feel like people fail to realise that there are multiple and very good reasons why they hadn’t gotten together until now. It’s both their fault. V has very deep running traumas (outside of actual and quite severe ptsd) and she’s dealt with loss, trust issues, undervaluing herself and pretty sizeable abandonment issues pretty much her whole life. Now we also have identity crisis absolutely crushing what little sense of value she has managed to build in herself. Santino… well, Santino is Santino. I don’t think anyone can blame V for not trusting him with her heart. With him being known for backstabbing people, not valuing them and discarding them after using them. And yes, argument could be made that he’s different with her but in a real life situation… no one smart would trust Santino with his rep and those are just facts. Santino had to go through a challenging and very sour arc of his own to learn his lessons (price for pride, overreaching etc) and revalue his life. That was the whole point of me NOT leaving that bullet in his head. There’s more work to be done. So yes, while Santino may have loved V for years he was also not right for her for years. Compatible? Yes. Devoted? Absolutely. But not right. Still too selfish, too impulsive, too narrow minded and petty.

V without a doubt changes his worldview, challenges his values. She elevates him. Inspires him. Brings out the best in him. But he needed to become the kind of man who could elevate her. That’s why they hadn’t gotten together though they’ve known each other for so long. And yes, ch13 rocked both their worlds. Made them realise the value of the other in context of I came so close to never seeing you again. I think it’s very clear in subtle things in these last few chapters that the way V views Santino has shifted—that it’s gone past “I like him” to something she can no longer ignore. That being said, V is also in favour of always putting more paramount thing before herself (once again falling back onto her habit of seeing herself as nothing more than a pawn, expandable) so feelings, emotions, for anyone is on the back burner fo her right now. Also, y’know, the fact that she’s actively dying is also a pretty big damper on things. Even if she said something to Santino she doesn’t know how long she has left (if she doesn’t find an antidote) so telling him now would be cruel.

#also don’t worry anon!!! def didn’t take it as rude or anything : )#i love hearing reader thoughts/feelings on dynamics and characters! it’s always fun to have a chance to really expand on things #asks #anon #s: i can wait #coa deep dive

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sparrow-in-boots · 3 years ago

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as an afrolatina the people who are acting like abuela acknowledging that she shouldn’t have projected her trauma onto the family is some huge feat are part of the fucking problem imo. the fact that our elders so rarely acknowledge the trauma they cause is a problem. other ppl from latine families being like, “wow it’s incredible she actually apologized!” just make me sad and angry bc they’re falling at her feet for doing the bare minimum 🤷🏾‍♀️ also acting like her behavior is exclusive to

latine families and therefore only able to be criticized by them instead of near ubiquitous in families of color across the board is v tone-deaf. abuse that comes from a place of love is still abuse and our elders normalizing intent over impact doesn’t mean they’re right. i actually love abuela and am glad she finally has a chance to heal and look after HERSELF for once but the ppl literally saying, “abuse is ok if you mean well and have trauma” are way over the line 🤦🏾‍♀️

heya. so, i don't mean to say this in bad faith but i'm going to assume that you're sending me this just from my Encanto vent i posted some time ago. admittedly it was done in a very rambly moment and not well thought out, and i apologize for that. that said, i respect your views there and i personally have my own issues with Abuela and how the ending was done and handled cus it certainly could have been better, but i still stand that her apologizing and recognizing where she messed up was a big deal.

i'm not falling at my feet for the bare minimun, but i am praising it cus honestly, it has not happened to me or my family. not once. and i know one (01) situation where it happened with a friend (also latine) and it led to actual change. everyone else? same thing, gaslight, ignore, just mute deaf and blind treatment. abuse is never okay, no matter the person's backstory, and i do not believe her behavior is exclusive to latine families either, because it's very much not.

i understand my gatekeeping tag could give that idea, but when i made that post i saw way too many white americans villanize her, wish violence upon her, saying the Madrigals should just abandon her and let her die alone, and some only seeing all this generational trauma that is often rooted in racism and colonialism, and shifting it to be about queerness and headcanoning her as deeply homophobic, it just... it ground my gears, a lot. that was what I was venting about, it was hyperbolic and not at all encompassing my full views on the matter.

#hope that clears it up somewhat #encanto #pardal got mail #pardal rambles

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nalgenewhore · 4 years ago

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masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“Lorcan,” snapped a sharp voice. He groaned into his pillow, screwing his eyes shut at the threat of sunlight.

“What do you want, Maeve,” Lorcan bit out, not in the mood for his aunt’s conniving bullshit this early in the morning. He was here as a favour to his father and nothing, nothing more. “I’m sleeping.”

“It’s almost eleven o’clock and Miss DuBois will be here at noon,” she hissed, trying to rip his duvet away. Lorcan swore and pulled it back, just remembering that Maeve was forcing him to take Remelle DuBois of all people as his date. He turned onto his back and sighed through his nose.

“So? The fucking thing doesn’t even start till one, let me sleep,” he protested, flinging his arm over his eyes. “You lost, Maeve. The title is Elide’s.” Neither missed the fact that he said ‘you’, further confirming that his stake was not as… passionate in his aunt’s cause.

Maeve scoffed dismissively, glaring out the windows into the gardens where workers were setting up for the garden party. The guest list was filled with Terrasen’s elite, all joining to celebrate Elide and Fenrys’ upcoming nuptials. “It’s not over until she puts that damned ring on his finger, the little sneaky bitch.”

“Don’t call her that.” The words escaped him before Lorcan’s brain could catch up with what Maeve was saying. She paused, looking at him curiously. Lorcan rolled his eyes and got out of bed, “I’m going to change now so do you think you could possibly fuck off?” There was no lost love between nephew and aunt.

“We are not finished here.”

“Get out of my room.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Fenrys kicked his feet as Elide sat patiently. Lysandra chastised the man, who was already dressed in a grey suit. His tie and pocket square matched her sage green tea dress. It had flutter sleeves and a modest v-neckline. The dress cinched at the waist before the chiffon skirts fell elegantly to just beneath her knees.

Philippa pinned Elide’s old school, Hollywood curls so they tumbled down one shoulder. She stepped back after applying a light layer of hairspray to ensure it would stay in place during the afternoon. “Now, you’re all ready for the party.”

Elide chuckled. She stood, slipping her hand into Fenrys’ elbow, “You’re a true artist, Philippa.”

“Oh,” the older woman waved her hands, “nonsense. I had a beautiful subject to work with.” Philippa handed her a lace fan, a sage ribbon hanging from it.

“That you did,” Fenrys said, dipping his head to kiss his fiancée’s cheek. He grinned at Elide’s blush when she pushed him away.

“Stop flirting with me.”

“Ugh, I love it when you tell me I’m not allowed to flirt with my betrothed.”

Elide rolled her eyes and turned on her white and strappy heels. She tugged Fenrys along, shouting a ‘thank you’ over her shoulder to Philippa. Fenrys kept her laughing the entire way to the garden with witty jokes and snarky comments. Elide snorted, trying to keep her composure when they turned the corner and ran into her uncle.

“Your Grace,” Fenrys said, bowing. Elide curtsied a bit, murmuring his name.

“Lord Marama, I see you’re still here.”

“Well, yes, sir. I wouldn’t abandon my fiancée three weeks before the wedding,” he answered smoothly, slipping his arm around Elide’s waist and resting a somewhat possessive hand on her hip. She suppressed the shiver, shuddering for all the wrong reasons, even though Elide knew it was all for show.

“Of course you wouldn’t.”

Elide nodded, nudging Fenrys towards the doors, “We’re leaving now, uncle. I hope you enjoy the party.” She grabbed the hand Fenrys had on her hip and pulled him away.

“I doubt it,” Vernon called after the pair as Elide pushed the door open.

Feeling Fenrys stiffen, Elide dug her white painted nails into his hand, “Leave it. He’s a senile old man.” She glanced back at him, staring him down until he nodded, the muscle in his jaw clenching. “Hey.” Elide stopped short, gripping his chin, “Fenrys, I have lived with him my entire life. You have known him for a week and a half. Don’t, for a single second, think you know what is best for me and how I should handle my abuser.” His eyes broke and she softened, “Fen, I know you have a good heart and that you want to protect me and I-I love that. Really. But, please, don’t try to do what only I can do for me.”

He nodded, his full lips quirking up at the corners, “Yes, ma’am.”

Elide clicked her tongue, “Come on, we have a garden party to host.” They walked powerfully to the entrance of the gardens. Before they turned the hedge that would put them in full view of the guests they could hear chatting lively, Elide paused.

“Hey,” Fenrys said, his brows - lightened to match his hair - furrowed, “are you alright?”

“Mm-hmm,” she replied, closing her eyes for a second. “Just need a second. I’m fine.”

The blonde man nodded and slid his hands into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels as he waited. A few silent moments later, Elide plastered on a cheery smile that he cringed at, “For fuck’s sake, that’s so scary.” He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, pasting on an equally jarring grin, “Ready, honeybunch?”

“Let’s knock ‘em dead, sweetie-pie,” Elide chirped, giggling like she had gone mad. Fenrys held out his elbow again, graciously leading her around the bend.

Someone announced them and they spent what seemed like an eternity smiling, waving, and thanking people for coming. Elide’s cheeks were burning from the strain of her beam when they had finally wrapped up the greetings.

“Drink?”

Turning to the bright voice, Elide sighed in relief to see Lysandra there. Aelin and Rowan were standing a few metres off, speaking to some elderly couple - no doubt royals of some kind. “Yes, gods, please,” she said, taking the champagne from Lysandra's hand. She had the grace to not chug it like she wanted to and sipped politely.

A server passed by with a tray of smoked salmon and cream cheese cracker bites. Elide took one, about to pop it in her mouth when Aelin and Rowan walked over. A flurry of something caught her eye and she peeked around Fenrys and Rowan to see who it was. “Oh, he did not just do that,” Elide cursed, narrowing her slender eyes.

“Who,” Aelin said, turning to track her cousin’s gaze. When she saw Lorcan standing at the entrance, she figured that was the only thing to set her off. But then a pale skinned, pale haired, and pale eyed woman stepped out from the shadow of his broad frame and Aelin went red in the face. “Remelle? He brought Remelle?”

The boys coughed, quick to turn and stare. Lorcan caught their gazes and sent them a pained look, subtly indicating Maeve, who was standing at a table with a smug look on her face. “Oh, well, that makes more sense,” Fenrys muttered, nudging Rowan, who nodded in agreement.

Lysandra frowned, scrolling through her iPad. The woman never went anywhere without it, “Maeve… did not tell me who Lorcan’s date was. And I made sure everyone knew who was not permitted and Miss DuBois is–”

“Lys, please, don’t worry about it,” Aelin assured her dear friend. “It’s not your fault, you’ve done an exceptional job, as usual. It’s just… Maeve being Maeve.” Lysandra nodded, but quickly excused herself. As she left, they all heard her speaking tersely into her earpiece, wanting to know who exactly had been at the entrance when they arrived. All security details were required to know the guestlist.

When Remelle looked their way, Rowan quickly turned away, his skin crawling as he felt her predatory stare burn into the back of his neck. The king consort twined his fingers through the queen’s, tilting his head to the side, “I’m sure there are more stuffy lords we haven’t said hello to yet. Let’s go do that now.”

Aelin nodded, flashing him her signature golden smile, “Of course.” She looked at Elide, who was still glaring at Lorcan, who was smiling back at her. To the untrained eye, it would look like a smirk, but Aelin knew Lorcan a bit better than that. His eyes sparkled with delight and affection.

She glanced at Fenrys, sharing a look with him. Have fun with… that.

He rolled his eyes, shooing her away, “Go, enjoy yourselves, kiss a bunch of old white guy ass for me.”

“Oh, I will, I know it’s your favourite, Fenny,” Aelin quipped. With a flourish, she marched off, pulling a somewhat reluctant Rowan behind her.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Hellas, she looks amazing.

“There’s the little cripple girl,” Remelle said, waving her fingers vaguely.

Lorcan rounded on her, pulling his attention away from Elide, “Excuse me? Don’t say shit like that, what is wrong with you?”

“Oh, testy, aren’t we,” she purred, reaching a slender hand up to tweak something about his hair. He moved, his reaction swifter than her motion. Remelle rolled her icy blue eyes, huffing slightly and looking down at her sharp nails, “Are you still anal about your hair? It’s just hair.”

He didn’t even deign to respond to her, knowing she would never get it through her dense skull. Must be all the bleach damage, Lorcan thought to himself. There was no way someone’s hair could be that white, naturally, at her age. “I need a fucking drink,” he muttered, not bothering to see if Remelle wanted anything before stalking off to the bar.

His aunt was waiting for him there and Lorcan pointedly ignored her as he ordered a whiskey sour. “Lorcan,” she hissed, his name sounding like a curse on her tongue, “why aren’t you with your date?”

“Because she’s an unbearable cunt of a human being,” he grumbled, thanking the bartender and digging out a green twenty for the tip. He had worked shit jobs like serving and knew how stingy the one percent was. “Thanks, man.”

“You’re welcome, sir,” the bartender said, smoothly putting the tip in his pocket and turning to the next guest.

Lorcan took his drink, taking a long sip before addressing his aunt, “Maeve, what do you want?”

Her dark, creepily dark, eyes flashed dangerously, “Boy, get yourself in line. She came here as a favour, got it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Lorcan saluted her sarcastically, his gaze jumping over her head when a vision dressed in gentle green caught it. Elide glared at him, pointing with her closed fan to a path in the hedges. This would be fun. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have more pressing matters at hand, auntie.”

He stepped around her, striding through the partygoers to Elide. “And to what do I owe the pleasure for this?”

Elide glared up at him, actually having to tilt her head back to even look him in the eye. It was cute, even if the glare was murderous. Elide turned neatly, walking angrily into the path. Lorcan followed, biting back his smile. “Are you going to murder me, sweetheart?”

No answer. They came to a fork in the road and Elide turned left, leading him to an opening with a bubbling fountain. There, she whirled, “You brought Remelle as your date?!”

“Why, yes. She’s a fine young lady,” he said, delighting in the way he was able to provoke her so easily.

“She’s a heinous bitch,” Elide spat, beginning to pace back and forth.

“Why do you care who I bring as my date?”

She paused, deciding to step onto the stone lip of the fountain. There, now she was almost eye-level with him, “I don’t.”

Lorcan raised his brows, looking at her in disbelief, “Seems that way.”

“Well, you seem to care a lot about my relationship, it’s only fair that I care that much about yours.”

He scoffed, draining his drink and putting the empty glass down on the edge of a bird bath. “Your relationship with Fenrys is no more real than mine with Remelle.”

The fan caught between her hands was gripped so tightly Elide’s knuckles were white. Still, her voice was calm, collected, “Fen told me you were friends. I was surprised.”

He looked at her suspiciously, willing himself not to look at her lips and hold her gaze, “Is there a reason for your surprise?”

“Well, it seems to me that if he were your friend, you would support it. You know,” she shrugged, her smile saccharine sweet, “for his happiness.”

Cool anger flowed through his veins and he didn’t bother thinking before he spat words he might’ve come to regret, “You couldn’t make Fenrys happy if you were married to him for a hundred years. I told you already, he will never love you.” Elide would never love Fenrys either, but Lorcan didn’t bother telling her what she no doubt already knew.

In her eyes shone hurt that was quickly replaced with heated rage. Elide hit his shoulder with her fan, “I loathe you.” Her face was centimetres from his, he could smell the intoxicating scent of her elderberry and cinnamon perfume. The delicate and spiced fragrance had haunted him for weeks now.

“Well, I loathe you,” Lorcan murmured, the tone too low and too enticing for it to be anything but a bedroom voice, "sweetheart."

Elide’s breath hitched and in that moment, Lorcan would’ve done anything she commanded of him to make her do it again and again and again. Her eyes flicked to his lips before dancing back up to his. Neither knew who moved first and neither cared as Elide’s arms slid around his neck and Lorcan’s slipped around her waist.

The kiss was hungry and biting, but a perfect harmony anyways. She tasted like champagne. Lorcan swore he could get drunk off her embrace as Elide nipped his lip, her tongue flicking over the small sting to soothe it.

Lorcan pulled her closer, craving the feelings of her feminine curves and softness against his harsh contours and planes. She sighed delicately, melting into his hold before she realised what they were doing and tried to push herself away.

Only, on the ledge, Elide didn’t have anywhere to go and she fell backwards, not relinquishing her hold on his charcoal suit. Lorcan was pulled into the fountain with her, their clothes and hair instantly sopping wet.

“You kissed me! You- you can’t go around kissing engaged people, Lorcan. Do you have any sense at all,” Elide whispered harshly at him, quickly standing to climb out. He went to stand up, but Elide pushed him back down again, her hands on his chest. “You’re just trying to make me like you so that I won’t marry Fen and you’ll get the throne! You- oh, you’re evil.”

With an indignant huff, Elide Lochan marched off, throwing him one last glare as she turned the corner and disappeared from his sight.

Lorcan was so, so, so fucked.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Elide kept her head high as she walked back to the palace. She managed to avoid the garden party, but caught Rowan slinking around the bushes, no doubt trying to avoid a certain someone.

“Elide?”

The delicate fabric of her dress clung to her skin and she shivered despite the warm sun. Elide nodded, waving vaguely as she passed him. He scrambled after her. “Ellie, do I want to know what happened?”

“He happened,” she snapped, picking up her pace. A quick glance down told her that her dress was indeed rather transparent. Elide swore, crossing her arms over her chest. Rowan quickly shucked off his suit jacket, draping the large garment over her tiny frame.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“Well, it’s not.” Elide closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. All she could think about was the kiss and how she had never felt anything like it. An unwarranted thought of if and when he would kiss her again popped up in her mind. Elide shook her head, desperate to forget about it. “It’s nothing. We just fought again and ended up in the fountain.”

He held in his snort and they arrived at the side doors. Rowan opened it for the woman, letting her pass before he shot a suspicious glance around them and closed it. They didn’t need any more media attention and certainly not with Remelle in the vicinity. “Good thing that Aelin is wrapping the party up now. You can go warm up and hide out in your room.”

Elide flashed him a grateful smile and slinked off to a hidden stairwell. It used to be used solely by servants and the staff, but now it was used by anyone who wanted a discreet escape to the private wings.

Rowan smiled at her as well, keeping the pleasant look on his face until she had disappeared from view. Then, he let it fall, gritting his teeth as he seethed. It seemed that he needed to have another little chat with Lorcan.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“El?” The door of her bedroom burst open and Fenrys appeared, looking concerned. It didn’t fade when his eyes fell on her curled up in a nest of blankets. A cup of tea sat on her nightstand, steam wafting from it. “I just saw Lorcan, are you ok?”

“‘m fine,” she muttered, turning her eyes back to the show she was watching. “Just cold.”

Fenrys smiled, “Mind if I join you?” Elide grinned, scooching over slightly. The dark skinned man made quick work of divesting himself of his shoes, jacket, and tie. He popped a couple buttons open, sighing as he flopped down next to her. “What, I don’t get any blanket?”

Elide rolled her eyes and flipped a few of them back so he could cuddle under them. Fenrys wrapped his arms around her, “You’re freezing, El.”

“I know,” she chattered, her teeth still clicking together. “The chef said she’d make me something warm to eat.” Elide leeched Fenrys’ body heat away, burrowing herself deeper into the mattress. After a few minutes, the warmth made her drowsy and Elide slowly drifted off.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Hello, Rowan. Lovely party that was,” Lorcan replied evenly. He glanced in the mirror. Rowan was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, his jaw set and ticking. “Can I help you with something?”

“What are you doing to her?”

There was no reason for him to say who he was talking about, they were both well aware. “I’m not doing anything to her.”

“You drive her fucking crazy, Lorcan,” Rowan said, moving out of the way when Lorcan stalked out of the toilet.

“And?”

Rowan sighed, shaking his head. “Lorcan. Just- fuck. What is going on with you two?”

“Nothing is going on with me and Elide,” Lorcan answered, pulling on a hoodie. It might’ve even been one of Rowan’s, he wasn’t sure.

“You told me you would never lie to me. Don’t you dare start now.”

Sitting down on the edge of his bed, Lorcan looked up at Rowan, but all he could see was Elide’s face the second before they kissed. “Ro…” He gestured vaguely with his hands, unable to articulate his swirling thoughts. “It’s just what it is. I can’t explain. We’re just- someone is pushing us together, I can’t stop it.” I don’t want to stop it.

“Oh,” Rowan breathed, his stark green eyes wide like saucers. His mouth dropped open and he gaped at Lorcan, blinking once in shock. “Oh. Oh.”

“What,” Lorcan snapped, his hackles rising. He had a premonition that he knew what Rowan was going to say. “Spit it out, bastard.”

“You’re falling for her.”

“No, I am not.”

“Yes, you are.”

Lorcan just fell back on the mattress, looking up at the ceiling. He sighed, his voice completely unconvincing, a little dreamy, even, “No, I am not.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Elide slinked into the kitchens, smiling thankfully at the chef who passed her a bowl of xaimoko, a Blackbeak rabbit stew. It was her favourite comfort food. She remembered once, when she was young, after being disciplined by her uncle, the old cook, a kind woman, had found her hiding in a corner. She had spoken in Blackbeak to Elide, coaxing her to the kitchen for a nice dinner. Vernon had ordered that she wasn’t to have dinner, but the cook had served her a bowl of rabbit stew and fried cornbread anyway.

Ever since then, the cook, who had retired a couple years after, had made sure every chef in the castle knew how to make it.

Elide ate as slowly as possible. Lysandra had texted her, telling Elide that Aelin wanted to see her after she had eaten dinner. After her nap, Elide had spent her time avoiding Aelin but it had seemed like her luck had run out.

She washed her own dishes, stowing them away in the cupboards. Gaze downcast, Elide made her way to Aelin’s temporary office, just set up for her time in Perranth before she and Rowan returned to Orynth.

Elide knocked reluctantly on the door, wishing Rowan or at least Fenrys were with her. The meeting was only to be with Aelin, though, so she wasn’t hopeful.

“Come in,” the queen called, her voice muffled through the heavy doors.

Elide pushed the door open, softly closing it behind her. Aelin’s face was set, her lips tightening as she folded her hands atop her desk. “Elide. Sit, please.” She glanced at Lysandra who was sitting in the other chair.

She felt like a schoolgirl in trouble with the principal. Elide sunk down in a chair, keeping her gaze down.

“Elide,” Aelin sighed, clearly not happy with her cousin. “What is happening with you?”

Elide shook her head, looking down at her hands, “Nothing.”

“That’s not true.”

She nodded, “Yes it is. Nothing is happening with me.” Elide finally dragged her eyes up to Aelin’s. “I’m fine.”

The blonde sighed, drumming her fingers on the desk, “Elide. I know we aren’t the most traditional country and you have more liberties than most, but you can’t do stuff like this.”

“Stuff like what?” Her voice cracked and her bottom lip trembled. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Elide, you are engaged. You can’t hide in closets with people who are not your betrothed and you cannot climb out of a fountain, dripping wet, with the same person who is not your betrothed!”

“Aelin, why don’t we–”

“No, Lysandra. Elide is not some high school girl, who gets to run around doing whatever she wishes! She is a royal and is expected to act like one.”

Elide flinched, shrinking back at the volume and sharpness, “I’m sorry.” If Aelin had noticed how Elide reacted, she would’ve stopped immediately, but the stress of battling parliament and the media were wearing on her. “I didn’t mean–”

“Yeah, I know, you didn’t mean to.” Aelin’s hands dove into her hair, gripping the strands on either side of her head. She laughed humorlessly, the sound icy and hollow. “I am trying to save your crown, do you get that, Elide?”

Elide stayed silent, willing her body to keep her tears to herself. Unconsciously, she started scratching a nail up and down her forearm, over and over and over until blood was drawn. It was a habit she had picked up as a child and years of therapy hadn’t undone it.

However, Lysandra noticed and she reached over to take Elide’s hand subtly enough so that Aelin didn’t see.

“I’m sorry.”

Aelin looked at her for a moment and glanced away, “Just tighten up, Elide. You can’t afford to be doing things you don’t mean and if you think you can… you might as well give Lorcan the crown already.”

“Can I go now?” Elide asked, her voice trembling. In shock, Aelin’s eyes snapped back to her, as if realising the memories she had resurfaced for Elide. Lysandra held a hand out to Elide, but Elide moved so Lysandra’s touch fell short.

“Ellie–”

Elide stood up abruptly, “If there isn’t anything else you have to say, can I go, your Majesty?”

Aelin nodded meekly and Elide left. The halls were empty and because of it, Elide ran back to her rooms, locking the doors behind her. She managed to keep from letting the tears fall until she was in her bedroom.

Bear looked up at her from her bed as Elide crawled into hers. The dog stared at her for a moment, laying unmoving. Elide wiped her cheeks, chuckling tearfully, “Oh, are you mad at me too?”

Bear just turned her head, tucking her nose beneath her tail.

Elide felt her heart crack in two and cried harder, hiccuping as she buried her face into her pillow. In the darkness of her room, Elide slowly cried until she had exhausted herself into a deep sleep.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: omg !! royal scandal sksksks !!

@mythicaitt @tinywolfofeyllwe @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @empire-of-wildfire @ladyverena @ttakeitbacknoww @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @tswaney17 @ourbooksuniverse @flora-and-fae @thesirenwashere @queenofxhearts @maastrash @mynewdreamwasyou @cursebreaker29 @empress-ofbloodshed @b00kworm @hizqueen4life @silversprings98 @amren-courtofdreams @minaidss @superspiritfestival @sanakapoor @ireallyshouldsleeprn @spyofthenightcourt @januarystears @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @magicalunicorngypsy @elriel4life @sensitiveillyrian

#knowing me knowing you #kmky chapter eight #princess diaries au #elorcan #elide x lorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #isa writes #nalgenewhore #woowwwww would ya look at that. kissing. that's cray cray !

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samanthadalton · 4 years ago

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Star crossed lovers (au) part 3

pairings: poppy x mc (bea)

warnings: throughout this fic there will be mentions of substance abuse, homophobia, sexual abuse, violence, NSFW, mentions of abandonment, depression and death including suicide

reader discretion is advised

taglist: @somewillwin @save-me-the-last-dance @baexpoppy @cloud9in @stanzoeywade @ognenniyvolk @thepotatobleh @crazzyplays @rxssians @helpconfusedpersonhere (if you wanna be added or taken off just let me know😊)

(i had a huge writer’s block and im getting back into writing more often so this chapter is pretty short but next chapter will definitely be longer)

word count: 3.3k

part 1: part 2:

The make up

After the never ending nightmare provided by Chloe and her idiotic clique, Bea’s reputation at Belvoire couldn’t possibly be worse. Everywhere she went she was met with stares, or laughter, and some students would even go as far as to catcall her or demand a dance or two. Never so badly did Bea wish she could be invisible but alas it felt as if the world was against her even more and she couldn’t bring herself to find comfort in the person she loves the most, Poppy. After feeling heartbroken from Poppy’s actions, or lack of, Bea had been busying herself over the last couple of days so she wouldn’t have to see the blonde.

It didn’t help that Poppy was constantly blowing up Bea’s phone almost every second, not knowing why the brunette was ignoring her. It wasn’t until cheer/volleyball practice on Thursday that the blonde managed to steal a moment alone with her girlfriend after waiting for the girls to leave the locker room and then making the excuse she needed to find her speaker for practice and pulling an unsuspecting Bea to the back of the locker room.

“Poppy what the hell, let go. I have to be on time for practice since I missed practice on Tuesday because of work.” Bea’s tone is slightly agitated as she tries to shake out of Poppy’s ironclad grip but the unwavering blonde just tightens it embedding the shape of her slender fingers on the brunette’s arm.

“Not until you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me,” her voice is quiet, as she tries to catch Bea’s eyes searching for an answer.

Bea defeatedly sighs and faces the girl, her head slightly tilted down to look the blonde directly in her eyes, “You know why Pops.” Poppy’s grip slightly loosens up and Bea takes advantage and shakes her arm out of her grasp and sits on the bench in the corner with her head between her hands. “After what happened on Monday, I can barely walk through school without some asshole making a comment or giving me a weird look. I feel so… violated.” Her voice was low but soft like she was tired of it all.

Poppy wasn’t used to seeing Bea so vulnerable… so broken, usually when something like this happened at school Bea would reassure Poppy that she was okay and that Chloe’s words couldn’t hurt her. Only this time, it wasn’t just words, they publicly humiliated her girlfriend, and Poppy had never felt so powerless, as she watched her girlfriend on the brink of tears, fists balled up, but she couldn’t bring herself to move, to speak, all she could do was watch. Until Veronica broke out of her own faze and moved towards the brunette and tell everyone off. In the back of Poppy’s mind she knew that she should’ve been the one to defend her girlfriend’s honour, that she should’ve been the one by her side, not just this once but all the other times before, but her fears of everyone finding out the truth prohibited her from supporting her girlfriend, that damned fear that everyone would find out they were together which could be social suicide. For her career obviously, not her friends, they could eventually learn to love Bea, right?

Poppy pushes all thoughts from her mind and sits down next to a crestfallen Bea who’s breaths are becoming quicker, hands still wrapped tightly against her head. Poppy reaches over and wraps the girl in a one armed hug hoping the brunette doesn’t pull away, and feels a wave of relief when Bea nestles her head in the crook of the blonde’s neck and begins to regain her breathing.

“Poppy… why didn’t you say anything?” Bea’s voice was low, slightly muffled as she spoke into the blonde’s neck, if she wasn’t nestled in Poppy’s embrace Poppy would’ve missed the question altogether.

Poppy places her chin above the girl’s head and sighes and as she opens her mouth to answer, she realises that she doesn’t have an answer, or at least one that would satisfy both herself and Bea. Instead she stays silent, though her deafening silence is enough for Bea to know that neither of them had an answer. Bea pulls away from Poppy and pushes herself away from her on the bench leaving some distance between themselves, in more ways than one.

“I… see..” her voice is strained, as she battles with the tears that threaten her eyes, on the brink of exposing her hurt.

“So what do we do now? Bea.. I…I miss you so much,” Poppy murmurs, her voice slightly chokes as she apprehensively fiddles her fingers together.

Bea’s nostrils flare slightly as she grips the bench before using her force to push herself off to face the petite girl, anger flashing across all her features, she involuntarily raises her voice, “You think that this has been easy for me, Pops? It’s literally breaking my heart because I can’t talk to you about this,” her voice cracks slightly but she quickly masks it by clearing her throat and looking away.

Poppy jumps up from her seat and tries to grab Bea’s wrist to turn her around to face her and Bea pulls out of her grasp and moves towards the front of the locker room, Bea’s tone almost pleading as she looks at Poppy with sorrow in her eyes, the angered tone replaced with a softer one “just..give me some space Poppy, I just can’t really be around you right now.” Poppy tries to intercept and just as she opens her mouth Bea puts up a hand to stop her, “seriously Pops, please. After what you and your friends did I just can’t be around you right now.”

Poppy feels anger flaring up inside of her as she scrunches up her face and runs a hand through her hair, “Me?’ she points to herself, losing control of her voice raising it, ‘What the hell did I do? I didn’t even kno-”

Bea practically screams her whole face turning red as tiny specks of saliva leave her mouth as she shouts, “It’s what you didn’t do! You watched them humiliate me and you didn’t do anything! I thought my girlfriend was supposed to support me but maybe I was wrong.” With that she turns and walks out of the locker room leaving behind a broken hearted Poppy who just falters at the harsh reality of Bea’s words.

Poppy sits down on the bench, alone, thoughts running wild through her mind. She doesn’t care about the fact that the girls are probably waiting for her at cheer practice, her heart just hurts too much. She sits in silence until the sounds of heavy footsteps interrupt her thoughts, she looks up hoping it’s Bea but feels dejected when she sees a hint of grey-ish ombre hair.

“Poppy what the hell? We’re all waiting for you to tell us what to do.” Veronica tone impatient and she stands in front of the blonde with a hand on her hip, eyebrows raised. Poppy just hums non committedly, earning a frown from Veronica who in turn, proceeds to grab the girl by her arm to lift her off the bench, pulling Poppy from her reverie.

“Ow, chill V- what the hell” Poppy rubs at the spot which the ombre-haired girl just grabbed and pushes her slightly back, “Can’t I just take like 5 minutes to myself?”

Veronica has known Poppy long enough to know that something is on her mind since the blonde has a pretty clear track record for when it comes to showing up to practice on time, she sighs and cups Poppy’s cheeks staring directly into her eyes, “Now are you gonna tell me what’s up or are you gonna waste all of our time pretending you’re okay?”

“I’m fine V,” she moves towards the entrance of the locker room but is quickly pulled back by Veronica who knits her eyebrows together, features looking downcast.

“P, I’ve known you long enough to know something’s up, tell me.”

Poppy bites her lips her gaze drifts to the ground and she lets out an annoyed sigh, “I finally spoke to Bea”

Veronica perks up a little, “that’s good right?”

Poppy responds with a shake of her head obtaining a look of disapproval from the girl, “what happened when you guys talked?”

“She practically blamed me for what happened on monday, I mean how was I supposed to know that Chloe would do something so cruel? I didn’t think she had the brain cells to even come up with something like that.”

“What the hell?! It wasn’t your fault, do you want me to talk to Bea?” Veronica’s protectiveness bursts out as she awaits Poppy's answer.

‘No, I-, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean she’s right.’ Veronica sits down on the bench and pats the space next to her and Poppy obliges and sits down. “Bea was mad because I didn’t do anything, and she has every right to be mad. I mean, am I a shitty girlfriend?” She looks over to Veronica praying that she holds the answer to her question.

Veronica wraps her arm around Poppy and sighs before speaking, “Do you know why I got involved and stood up for Bea?”

“So my girlfriend could hate my guts because it should’ve been me?”

Veronica exasperates a little, lightly slapping Poppy’s back, “No idiot, I did it for you.” Poppy grimaces as she waits for Veronica to continue. Seeing that she isn’t going to interrupt Veronica carries on speaking, “I saw your face when you realised what they were doing to Bea, and I know that you were feeling conflicted. I mean I wouldn’t want to be in your place, having a girlfriend that no one can know about because our friends hate her because she’s part of the working class or whatever. Or a homophobic dad who has extremely high expectations and expects you to be the best of the best because he thinks it’s what your mom would’ve wanted.” If Veronica’s known for one thing, it's her bluntness. Her cold hard deliverance of the truth stunned Poppy, who for the first time does not have the words as reality dawns on her.

“... You’re right,” Poppy eyes frantically move side to side as she reflects on the past and realises that Bea has had to endure a lot of crap from her friends over the past couple of years, and she berates herself for thinking that her girlfriend could handle it on her own. She groans into Veronica’s shoulder, “God I’m such an idiot… I've been expecting Bea to just be okay with all the verbal abuse and I’ve never said anything to Chloe, I just let it all happen.” She jumps to her feet, suddenly feeling resolved, she looks down at Veronica who just blankly stares at Poppy hoping for an answer for her sudden awakening. “I know what I have to do” and with that she runs out of the locker room ignoring Veronica as she calls out to her.

Poppy moves with determination as she heads over to the hall where volleyball practice takes place and before she opens the door she peeks her head though the window and sees a disheartened Bea running laps as Chloe barks out orders to the rest of her teammates.

She throws the doors open and charges towards Chloe who notices a furious Poppy moving towards her and breaks out into a smile, “Hey P, aren’t you supposed to be at prac-” Poppy practically slams Chloe into the wall and practice comes to a halt as all the girls, including Bea watch the ordeal unfold. “Owww, what the hell” Chloe tries to move from Poppy’s hold as her back is flat against the wall but the shorter girl filled with anger and adrenaline rams the girl back into the wall.

“That crap you pulled on Monday wasn’t cool and you’re not gonna bother Bea or speak about her mom again. Otherwise you’re going to regret it.” Poppy’s eyes bore into Chloe’s, her tone threatening but low, only meant for the blue-eyed girl to hear.

Chloe’s temper flares as she looks over Poppy’s shoulder to see a confused Bea watching the two girls with a frown and in the moment she manages to shove Poppy back and overemphasises her height against the strawberry blonde, keeping her posture straight and her head bent slightly to look down at her, “So what? Because you’re lab partners you guys are all buddy buddy? Who gives a shit about that tramp? What you’re not going to do Poppy is walk into practice and try to embarrass me in front of my team.” Chloe’s voice echoes throughout the hall as she struggles to keep her temper under control.

Poppy’s somewhat startled by Chloe’s outburst but maintains her stoic expression and leans in to whisper, “I could end your life Chloe, don’t test me.” She looks down at Chloe’s hands to see them shaking as they’re balled up into fists, she knows the girl would never touch a hair on her head but she also doesn’t want to escalate the situation any further in case the fallout is bad for Bea. Well, there’s just one more card for her to play, she sighs and rubs her forehead with one hand as she reaches out and clasps one of Chloe’s fists with her other, “I don’t want you talking about Bea’s mom because at least she has one, no matter how shitty she may be.”

All the colour drains from Chloe’s face as her body relaxes and she looks more embarrassed than anything else, using her dead mom as bait for no one to find out about her and Bea? She’ll take that opportunity.

Chloe simply splutters struggling to find the words, so she just wraps her arms around Poppy and mumbles into Poppy’s ear, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise how much that would’ve affected you.”

Poppy rolls her eyes slightly as she knows that Chloe’s sincerity is only for her and not Bea but she releases herself from Chloe’s embrace and places a hand on Chloe’s shoulder, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have barged in here during practice but it was eating me up inside and I just had to say something.” Chloe aggressively nods along to each and every one of Poppy’s words and her lips form a small smile, which Poppy reciprocates.

“Well, umm I should get back to practice and so should you, I’ll tell the guys as well to stop too”

Poppy genuinely smiles at the girl and gives her a small thank you before turning around to leave the gym. Her eyes catch Bea’s and she crinkles her eyes a little, giving a small smile before leaving the gym to go to practice in the field.

……

After a couple of gruelling hours of practice Poppy and the rest of the cheerleaders all shower and change before forming a small semicircle around the team captain. Poppy’s gaze shifts between every girl before landing on Veronica’s who gives her a wink. “Great practice today girls, remember that we need to be in top shape for the first football game against Hearst in two weeks.” She claps her hands together as all eyes are entranced on her, “I’m sorry I was late to practice so you guys had to stay back a little longer but remember that your dedication is what’s most important to the team. Also I’m still deciding who will be part of the smaller group to cheer at the volleyball games. When the teams make it to nationals we will be representing Belvoire at the games and will be invited to stay with the volleyball team for two weeks in spring. So…. impress me girls.” The cheerleaders disperse as Veronica and Poppy walk out of the locker room side by side and Veronica bumps Poppy’s shoulder slightly as they walk out to the dimly lit empty parking lot.

“So I’m guessing whatever epiphany you had worked out”

Poppy chuckles a bit, “what makes you think that?”

“Well you weren’t a crazy bitch today in practice so there’s that. What exactly did you do?”

Poppy lazily picks at one of her manicured nails, “What I should’ve done from the start, gave Chloe a piece of my mind.”

Veronica lets out a loud exaggerated cough and Poppy looks up at her eyebrow raised, “well whatever you said, I’m guessing it worked,” she nods her head towards the direction over Poppy’s shoulder and Poppy turns to see Bea leaning against her motorbike her eyes fixated on hers and she smiles. “Well, I’ll take that as my cue to leave” she gives the blonde a quick hug and salutes to Bea before heading into her car and driving away.

Poppy saddles up to Bea and awkwardly tucks in some of her hair behind her ears. Both of them just stare at each other, waiting for the other to initiate the conversation until Bea lets out a laugh.

“So…”

“So….”

“I liked that tactic of yours, slamming Chloe against the wall, I mean I’ve been wishing to do that for years.”

Poppy throws her head back and laughs, “Not my finest moment but I had to do something,” She nervously chews on her lips as she awaits for Bea’s reaction.

“Yeah, that was uh something,” She hesitantly reaches out to the blonde gripping her waist and pulling her closer, “I’m not fully happy with you though, but thank you. I don’t know what you said to Chloe but this was the first practice where she treated me with some decency.”

Internally, Poppy screams with happiness as this was the first time in days where Bea just simply holds her and she wraps her arms around the taller girl’s neck resting her forehead against hers. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, I know I have to earn that. And I know I’ve been a shitty girlfriend-”

Bea shushes Poppy her hand moving up to cup Poppy’s jaw while her thumb circles her cheekbone, “You’re not a shitty girlfriend Pops. It’s just I wish you could just I don’t know, publicly support me a little. No one’s gonna suspect anything about us just because you’re being a respectable human being.”

“I know, I know. If I’m being honest, I just froze, I didn’t know what to do but my first instinct should’ve been to help you. It’s just so hard sometimes when everyone’s watching because honestly speaking Bea? I don’t know how you do it sometimes. You’re the most incredible person ever and you deserve to be with someone you can actually be with, not just someone you have to hide in the shadows with.”

Bea places a finger on Poppy’s lips, silencing her, and when she speaks it’s with the greatest intensity and desirability, “I choose you Poppy. Everyday I choose you. I know it’s not without its challenges but I would rather do hard with you than have it easy with somebody else. You’re worth it all. I just want a little more support, that's all I ask.”

“And that’s exactly what you’re going to get Bea, I promise,” she leans in and places a soft kiss against Bea’s lips and whispers, “I love you so much, and I promise to do better.”

Bea feverently kisses the blonde before whispering back, “I love you too. Now that we’re okay..how would you like to accompany me to a party this Saturday” her eyes gleam with hopefulness as she knows that Ford is already planning a back to school party on saturday and Poppy’s obligations would usually fall align with her friends. “There’s even going to be fireworks.”

Poppy kisses the brunette, “Fireworks huh? I would love to” she kisses Bea again, filled with passion as the couple of days they spent without each other catches up to them and Bea grips Poppy’s hips tighter pulling her impossibly closer to her.

Unbeknown to the girls, a figure in the corner of the parking lot watches the girls locked in a passionate embrace which is eventually broken as the brunette offers to drive the blonde home and they drive off together, happy and content.

read part 4 here:

#playchoices #queen b #poppy min sinclair #poppy x mc

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myuntoldstory · 4 years ago

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saeran after end after thought

it took me a ducking month and some change because i had to farm hourglasses. when i started playing i kept getting the bad ends and i got so frustrated i didn’t touch the app for two weeks. i had to consult a guide to finally reach the end.

i wanted to play this because i needed to see where jihyun ended up and... well... we all know what happened there. anyway...

i have many thoughts and feelings about this ae. i don’t know if i can ever properly organise them, but i’ll put it in bullet points for now. this is my personal feelings, not any kind of fact. i have nothing against nearly anything and anyone (character or real) involved in this game. i’ll always love and appreciate them for being in this game, for creating this game, for giving us something to love for the past four or five years.

these thoughts are rather unfiltered. this is me coming out hours after finishing the ae. i might change my mind after letting it marinate for a while and after reading up some more about it.

it’s all under the cut. it’s long and rambling. there’s no need to read this, really; the ae is a month old after all, but i just needed to get this out. also, it’s salty as hell. literally saltier than the dead sea. it will dehydrate you... best to not bother with this.

also spoilers.

1. during the first playthrough the game mechanics were wonderful, novel, and immersive. but years later and for the sake of an ae? unnecessary. it’s too long. it’s too much work. i did my due when i played the game during ray’s route. why do i also have to work for something that should have been my reward? why do i still have to worry about hearts, choices, and game branches? why do i have to go through multiple endings? it’s an after end. it’s after the ending.

of course i love new content, i love more content, but not like this. and i know i sound super entitled. if i was impatient i should have justt read the wiki, but i wanted the experience, but not this specific experience. lucky it’s the pandemic and i have more time on my hands, but in normal circumstances my life is very different from what it was in 2016. i can’t be waiting for chats and making plans around it to get to the after ending. honestly i expected something like the secret ends or even similar to the style of jihyun’s ae... but no. apparently, chertiz thinks it’s fun to make us spend three and a half days to reach an AFTER END.

2. saeran choi needs love... but, in my opinion, not ours. not mc’s. the love he needs is his brother’s. the person he needs most is saeyoung choi. he’s suffered so much, endured many things no person should ever endure. of course he deserves romantic love, but i feel like he needed to recover first. that’s why after all this im firmly in the very bare, maybe even empty camp of preferring secret end saeran choi over ray route saeran choi.

3. never in my life has a game made me exhausted about the act of forgiveness. i feel a little sick. it’s terrible to say that, i know, but i am just so emotionally exhausted. there is this heavy feeling in my chest that makes me want to cry because i feel like i somehow destroyed a part of myself?

first it’s the saviour in jihyun’s ae. it’s still her in this ae. but in addition to that there’s also the prime minister? when does it stop? at this point we might as well forgive the twins’ mother too. she imprisoned her own sons to benefit from their father; beat the shit out of and starved saeran to the point that he wanted to die, but there must be a reason behind it, right? like all the villains in this game her choices are not her own; they are the product of their circumstances and we have to understand that.

i just... i understand what cheritz is trying to convey here. and granted saeyoung is not as forgiving, but this isn’t his story. it felt like the forgiveness was nearing some extreme by the end of it. i don’t think there’s anything wrong if you’e unable to forgive. if the only way for you to move forward is to not do so i feel that’s valid. as long as you’re not hurting anyone and that you’re not hurting yourself, you do whatever you need to recover. forgiving is not the only way, the noble way. not everyone’s backstory you have to understand and take into consideration in order to move on. even if they realise what they did was wrong, it’s okay not to forgive. sometimes that’s what we need to take care of ourselves.

im rambling on this point, but im going through this currently. it’s not as extreme as the choi twins or the rfa, but all my life i’ve been forgiving and understanding and it chipped away at me. even at my expense i forgave everything and it landed me in a place im struggling to get out of. i needed justice and this ae didn’t give me a bit of that... at least not in the way i needed.

4. cheritz said this is the grand finale, but... it didn’t feel like it? again this is me being entitled, but i expected something more. something bigger. something poignant because after this mystic messenger is over. i expected some kind of epilogues in the form of story modes. of course i appreciate everything the company has done, especially the efforts of the writers, artists, voice actors, and everyone, but... it’s so rushed? it such a short farewell that instead of getting catharsis and satisfaction i felt... drained. and i feel sad that it’s all over because im not ready to say goodbye and that goodbye is far too short for me.

i don’t know im just sad it’s all over.

also, the conclusion they come to is the dissolution of the rfa once everyone found their happy ending. i... this is a group that has been through some shit and that doesn’t make them closer somehow? the rfa app lies neglected and abandoned as everyone moves on with their lives? that is so... lonely? at least for me.

i mean, of course, not all endings have to be necessarily happy in the “everyone gets together once a week for dinners” kind, but i just... i dont know i expected them to be closer somehow. maybe they are. maybe outside the app they’re all closer, but... i don’t know. i feel sad they’re abandoning the app.

5. and then there’s kim jihyun.

and im... i dont know anymore. if you know me, follow me, or have read any of my fics you know im a jihyun fan. i love that man and YES i know his sins. we all do.

as i played the ae i started to hope that he’d die in the end instead of suffering through this egregious character assassination. yes, i literally preferred that he died and that i go through that pain instead of suffering whatever this is. obviously i dont want him to die, but this is like killing him anyway. they killed the essence of him, who he is as a person. hell, they probably killed him already and just installed a stranger in the ae because that v is not our v. all throughout the game he’s been kind and compassionate and selfless. his whole thing is about protecting the rfa, the mc, saving the saviour, and sacrificing himself for them. this is the idiot who gives you his hearts when you’re being actively nice to his abuser and saeran in his route. his ultimate happy ending involves everyone being happy, reunited, and given the proper mental care. he went away for two years, putting a much needed pause in your budding relationship, not only to recover from his trauma, but also to rescue saeran and help him recover too.

yes, v enabled the saviour even before another story. he lied. he put everyone in danger. he’s reckless and he keeps secrets way more than what’s natural. but he will never let any of them come to harm. my memory is fuzzy but im sure he never lets the rfa get in danger. he was devastated when yoosung got injured. he also tried to rescue seven and mc in the secret ends thats why he got shot. this guy always looks out for everyone.

in what world is he okay with drugging the twins? making deals with the villains? the idea of trapping the twins in the saviour’s delusional, twisted family life? he’s not the type to be okay just standing there when his best friend’s life is falling apart or for even causing it. when zen, jaehee, and yoosung get backed into the corner he wouldn’t have been just idle. but in this ae all he does is play stacking chairs, buy strawberry yoghurt, and echo the saviour’s words like a puppet. he asks only mc to save herself and like... jesus christ he never gets a break. he doesn’t even get the same gesture of forgiveness everyone and their father gets. he goes through a trial and jail, which is fair enough, but he’s also a victim of abuse and suffering and despair and mental illness. but somehow because it’s v it’s okay that this is all he gets. somehow he doesn’t deserve any compassionate resolution.

literally the only time he’s happy is his route and after end and even then that happiness is not his own. even then there were concessions to be made before he could get it.

seriously. it seems like cheritz hates him. they think little to nothing of him. if that’s the case why even make content for him? he’s not even meant to be romanceable in the original stories. they could’ve just ignored the petitions and left him as a side character. i mean, i dont know if i prefer that honestly, i do appreciate the content we got, but as his fan it hurts to see all this half-hearted decisions. and to see all this hate still pouring out for him, now magnified because of this ae.

this is like a tiring odyssey, starting way back when he got shot and killed all because he loved someone. he loved the wrong person and it’s the wrong kind of love and he committed his crimes because of it. he had a hand in making the rfa and mc suffer, but still all he did was love. and i know that sounds blind and naive and ignorant and im sorry for not picking up the nuances of his relationship with the saviour, but that’s all i saw. i saw a guy loving the wrong person and it made him make all the wrong choices leading to a bad life.

gah. i am drained people. i am drained, and frustrated, and tired.

#jihyun kim #mystic messenger #tag this please #im sorry for this #i dont know why im apologising #i guess for my thoughtless rambles #it became a rant #this is all unfiltered #dont bother reading im just ranting #ive had like an hour sleep today because reasons #anyway thats not an excuse or anything #ANYWAY these are just stupid thoughts #i had to let it out

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jaehyunhour · 5 years ago

Text

la la love | ten

college!jaemin strangers to lovers social media au.

summary: in which you’re upset at jeno for still talking to his ex yeji, so you recruit jaemin to fake date you to make him jealous, but you accidentally fall in love with jaemin during the process.

pairing: jaemin x female reader (special guest appearances from nct’s jisung, chenle, renjun, jeno, and itzy’s ryujin and yeji).

2.2k words. (warning: slightly suggestive! just a heated make out session, but if you are uncomfortable reading 00 line smut just skip over it! i was born in 00, so i am comfortable reading/writing mature content of 00 liners but i know not everyone is!)

previous | next || au masterlist

tag list: @neocrackheadtendencies @dammit-jjk @infatuated-with-you @donghyuckster @hyucktingz @127-jaehyun @j9emin @sunsungie @lowkeyviv @vintagejaehyun @ryujinnz @air-wreckaaa @jisungpwaarkk @bby-jaem

for tag list, send an ask or comment!

y/n lay in her bed as she scrolled through phone trying to entertain herself. ryujin and jisung were away visiting their families for the weekend, renjun was busy studying for exams as they neared finals week, and she didn’t want to text jeno. she stared at jaemin’s contact in her phone, she could call him and ask him to come over, but she was torn about it. every time she reached out to spend time with him, renjun’s words rang through her head. she really didn’t want to hurt him. but before she could process what was happening, her finger had already pressed the facetime button.

“oh, shit,” she said as it rang, and right as she was about to hang up, it connected.

“what’s up, y/n?” jaemin said on the other line. his hair was messy and he was wearing a pair of round glasses.

“i didn’t know you wear glasses,” y/n responded.

“i don’t,” jaemin took the glasses off and set them on his bedside table. “they’re just to look nice. am i just going to see the top half of your face or will you show me your whole face?”

y/n sat up, fixed her hair a little bit before extending her arm to show her entire face to jaemin. “happy?”

“very. so what’s up? why’d you call?”

“oh! i was just bored! ryujin and jisung are gone for the weekend, renjun is busy studying, and i don’t exactly want to hang out with jeno… i don’t know if you’d want to hang out though, i know late night impromptu hangouts aren’t really in your fake boyfriend job description.”

“hmmm, i have some exams i have to study for but i think i can spare a couple hours.” jaemin got up quickly and went to his mirror. “i’m just gonna come dressed like this, though, okay?” he flipped the camera to reveal his cozy fit: grey sweatpants and a loose fit white v neck.

“wear a sweater! you can’t catch a cold.”

he pushed his closet open, revealing a bunch of shirts, sweaters, and jackets all neatly organized by color. “which one?”

“i like that red hoodie a lot.”

“you got it. alright, see you in 30.”

“make it 15.”

“i can make it 15 but you’ll starve.”

“okay, see you in 30.”

and as promised, 30 minutes later jaemin was knocking on y/n’s door, holding take out. when she opened the door, she smiled at him before quickly reaching for the food and setting it onto the coffee table in the living room. jaemin slipped his shoes off by the door, and slumped onto the couch.

“i don’t even get a proper greeting? i just cured your boredom and fed you.”

“you’re right, you’re right.” y/n stood in front of him and quickly pulled him up off the couch and gave him a hug. he returned the hug and squeezed her tight, and — did y/n’s heart just skip a beat? no way. “can i eat now?” she asked, getting nervous. he pulled away and nodded.

“are you going to eat?” she asked, returning to the food and beginning to feast.

“i ate just before you called.”

“ah, okay. thank you for bringing food! just take out however much it was out of my purse,” she points at her purse on the table next to the couch. he nods and reaches over, but instead picks up the control to the tv to turn it on.

and they sat in comfortable silence for 15 minutes, y/n on the ground eating and jaemin on the couch behind her looking for something to watch on hulu. he couldn’t find anything that he wanted to watch, so he abandoned it until she was done eating so he could get her full undivided attention. once she was done, she cleaned up the trash and sat on the couch next to him.

“is there anything in particular you feel like seeing?” jaemin asked, handing the control to her. she took it from him, and immediately went to the horror section on netflix. “really? a horror movie?”

“why, are you scared?” she raised her eyebrows at him.

“i should be asking you that!” jaemin responded, but deep down he was a little scared. “you always talk about how you can never get all the way through a horror movie because you get too scared.”

“that’s when i’m alone… but you’re here, we could watch one together and maybe i can get through it.”

“i don’t think holding you while you try to watch a horror movie was in my fake boyfriend job description,” jaemin said, with a laugh.

“it isn’t, but it is in your real friend job description.”

“we’re friends?”

“well, yeah. i thought that was obvious.”

there’s a beat of silence.

“fine, ONE horror movie, but i’m picking it,” jaemin said, taking the control from her hand and picking a movie. he settled on the curse of la llorona, it looked the least threatening and y/n seemed excited to watch it when he read the title. halfway through the movie, though, y/n rest her head on jaemin’s shoulder and knocked out. he had to admit, he was scared of the movie but the sound of her quiet snores was enough for him to brave the rest of the movie because he didn’t want to wake her.

but once the movie was over, he still didn’t budge. her snores had stopped, but jaemin knew — or at least, thought — she was still asleep, because he took his phone out and took a few pictures of her sleeping on him. he didn’t know that she was still awake, but was too comfortable to ruin the moment. she thought maybe if she stayed like that for just a little bit longer, he would pick her up and take her to bed like her parents used to do when she fell asleep in the car as a child. but he didn’t, he sat still. and he spoke.

“my, my, y/n what am i going to do with you? i know i wasn’t supposed to, but i think i’ve really fallen for you,” jaemin whispered. “isn’t that crazy? a month ago i couldn’t even remember the fact that we went to high school together, and now i’m sitting here on your couch and all i can think about is how badly i want to kiss you.” he paused for a second. “but that’s not in my fake boyfriend job description, right? this is just to get back at jeno. and i’m sure we’ll succeed. but, man, what i wouldn’t give to just be able to kiss you once, or even hold your hand behind closed doors. when we’re in public, it’s different. it’s all a show… i think i want to be yours for real. but i have to remind myself this is just to get back at jeno.”

her heart broke a little hearing jaemin’s whispered confession, and she didn’t know what to do. should she tell him she’s been awake and heard everything? or does she pretend to just wake up and ignore it? she decided with the latter, and pretended to just wake up. jaemin held in a breath as she lifted her head from his shoulder, rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and put on her best fake groggy voice.

“how long have i been asleep?”

“i think about an hour, i’m not sure. you fell asleep about halfway through the movie.”

“was it scary?”

jaemin let out a laugh. “yeah, it was. we’ll have to rewatch it another day.”

he shifted his body to look over at her. “let’s get you to bed.” he stood up, took her into his arms, and carried her into her bed. once in her bed, she sat up with her back pressed against the headboard as jaemin walked into her bathroom.

“what are you doing? she questioned. jaemin didn’t respond, but he walked back out of the bathroom with toner, cotton pads, her moisturizer, and some lip balm. “jaemin, i’m too tired to do my whole routine right now.”

he sat on her bed, opened the toner and put some on the cotton pad. he slowly cleansed her face and moisturized it for her. after he set the moisturizer down on her bedside table, he brought the lip balm up to her lips and applied it. her heart was beating faster when jaemin’s hands were so close to her lips, and the tension proved to be too much for him too. he leaned in, and she felt his breath ghost her lips. before she could stop him, he closed the gap between the two and pressed his lips forcefully against hers. at first, she was too shocked to react and jaemin was about to pull away, but her hands found their way into his hair and kept him in place. she kissed back for just a moment, and as she was going to pull away, jaemin gently pushed her into her bed and climbed on top of her.

jaemin’s mind ran wild as he realized what he was doing, he couldn’t believe that he was in this position. her body tucked beneath his, as her hands went from being buried in his hair to feeling all over his body. jaemin pulled back for just a second to look at her, and she pulled him right back in and deepened their kiss, letting his tongue into her mouth as one of his hands squeezed her breasts. her hands trailed down his torso, slipped underneath his shirt and hoodie, and her fingernails lightly scratched at his abs.

“y/n—“ he groaned. she shushed him.

“touch me, jaemin.” she whispered.

as much as jaemin wanted to, he knew things had already gone too far. whether she was acting out of feelings for him or just the heat of the moment was a mystery to him, but he knew he couldn’t keep going. he pulled back and sat up, the hand that was previously on her chest running through his hair. jaemin’s eyes were blown out, and y/n stared at him while she caught her breath. she didn’t know what to say.

“i’m sorry,” jaemin started. “i crossed the line, and i shouldn’t have. i’m sorry. this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“that’s okay,” she said quietly. her eyes met his and she could tell he really felt sorry. it tore her apart inside.

“i’m sorry,” he repeated, unable to find other words to say. “this wasn’t supposed to happen, this was just pretend for you to get jeno, i wasn’t supposed to kiss you or anything...” jaemin gets up, panicked and begins to head for the door. “i should go home.”

y/n watched him walk to the door and her chest hurt as she stared at him. right as his hand reached the doorknob, he hesitated hoping she would ask him to stay.

“please stay,” she responded. “i don’t want to be alone tonight.”

jaemin turned around and nodded. she got into bed and lifted the sheets up, allowing him access, and he crawled into bed next to her but was careful not to pull her into his arms, despite how badly he wanted to. instead, he turned so his back was facing her. guilt filled both of their chests as they lay there next to each other. she scooted closer to him, loosely wrapping an arm around him and spooning him.

“goodnight, jaemin.”

“goodnight.”

jaemin didn't sleep, instead opting for laying in her bed and trying to rationalize everything that happened. the entire situation etched itself in his mind as a blur; he couldn't quite remember what happened but when he closed his eyes he could see the way she looked underneath him, and feel her lips pressed against his. he wanted to do it again, and again, and again, and for the rest of his life. he opened his eyes again, letting out a deep sigh. y/n stirred in her sleep, disturbed by the sigh he let out. "jaemin?" she said, still half asleep.

"i'm still here," he responded.

she didn't respond, and he waited a few minutes before saying anything. "y/n?" he whispered. she didn't respond, and jaemin let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. he memorized the feeling of her arm wrapped around his body, her forehead pressed against his back, and the sound of her breathing as she slept. at one point, he placed his hand atop hers and fit his fingers between hers to see what it felt like to hold her hand behind closed doors. he tried to sleep but couldn't, and lay awake in her bed for hours as she slipped deeper and deeper asleep.

he was careful not to wake her, gently peeling her arm off his body and placing it near her. he slipped out of bed and felt his stomach churn at the thought of leaving her alone, but he knew he couldn't stay any longer.

y/n woke up to the sound of her phone buzzing, text messages coming in rapidly. she didn't know what time she fell asleep, or what time jaemin left, but in the same spot where his body once lay was his red hoodie folded neatly.

#nct #na jaemin #nct smut #nct social media au #nct dream #nct fluff #nct reactions #kpop #kpop social media au #nct angst #nct jaemin #nct jeno #nct haechan #nct jisung #nct renjun #nct chensung #itzy ryujin #itzy yeji #la la love

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