#the fact that I remember every single one of these stories so vividly...

[ikram1909]

https://twitter.com/V10_fcb_/status/1808914976561676662?t=5C_AWUlYuCWAaQuBQ3w7kQ&s=19 we have really been going back and forth to hell with our boy this whole time. I'm so happy that he's better, it's obvious 🥹❣️

Oh it's been a journey 😭😭 I'm looking forward to his story when he finally comes back it feels like it's been years

[zara-renata]

Sylus's guide to hiring, or Wine time with Sylus: his POV | ao3

I think at this point this story may be hard to understand as a standalone and can be considered part of a series. Links to the previous installments can be found here.

Sylus x gn reader, Sylus x mc, Sylus's POV, second person POV

Synopsis: Sylus mulls over all the data he has managed to collect regarding his sweet little hunter so far, and spends some time considering mistakes he's made and his plans for the future. He also hires a new employee and is required to teach the twins to mind their manners in front of guests he's trying to intimidate.

This story contains: Sylus being a worshipful simp for mc and harboring definitively NSFW thoughts, the apprehension of a thief, an interrogation, an indecent proposal, a job offer, and one HR manager who gets goosebumps from being able to sense a disturbance in the social safety of Onychinus's workforce while not even being in the same building as the HR disaster waiting to happen.

Additional context: I've seen some theories floating around the fandom about Sylus and mc being children together in the lab where mc received the aether core, which i think would be amazing to explore and also would explain why Sylus has memories of mc when they first meet. However, I also got the sense from his little villain speech about "From your past to your future and all the crimes you have yet to commit," that Sylus knows mc from more than just memories as kids experimented on in the lab. So I've been writing him like he has memories of his own and mc's past or future lives. Hence his little rumination at the beginning of this story. It's maybe lazy romance writing but I hope it's enjoyable anyway.

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Sylus may rarely have good luck, but he would much rather have consistent bad luck than a skill issue.

He may not be able to control the luck that fate has given him, but the same cannot be said about the skills he has spent his entire life honing in order to render luck and fate irrelevant. As a result, it has been quite a long time since one of his skillfully laid plans has ended up with such a ridiculous outcome instead of unadulterated success.

But he’s learning that he shouldn’t be surprised by how often he is surprised when it comes to you. In fact, he’s irritated with himself that he didn’t learn that lesson after just the first three days he had you at his mercy when you first dangled yourself as bait for him and came plunging back into his life.

He recalls your fury, clenched teeth and clenched fists, as he crushed your hand in his, over and over. You couldn’t have possibly known, the way you were looking at him like a mere, terrifying stranger, how the faint, pitiful resonance between you flayed open his chest, exposing a heart he had long thought invincible, if only for the fact that he had thought it long dead. And along with the pain, came the fury. The dead should stay dead, and enjoy the only gift of the dead—freedom from the kind of despair he felt as you closed your eyes and refused him, again and again, the hate and terror clear in them when you would open them again. Yes, he recalls how you closed your eyes and refused to let your tears of terror fall, how you spit insults and sneered in his face despite that terror. He recalls how you took every sliver of opportunity to make a run for it each time he let go of you and dropped you back onto your knees—even though you knew it was doomed, but trying anyway, only to be dragged back by his evol every single time.

Your determination in the face of fear, your spite and defiance. None of these things surprised him, because these were all parts of the you he knew and remembered, parts carved under his skin with the same permanence and cruelty you used to carve your knives into anyone who stood against you.

He vividly remembers your rage, your cold ruthlessness, your indomitable will—the determination to survive anything, and if you somehow, inconceivably failed, despite all of your strength and intricate plans, you’d drag everyone in your reach down with you out of pure spite. Despite, and because of your razor edges, during your ‘first’ meeting—as you were kneeling at his feet, as he was relishing in the fury of your misplaced hatred towards him as he drew out your darkest wishes from the deepest parts of you—he was prepared to love you again, in all of your cruel, malicious glory.

However, he should have known that this version of you is not exactly the same as those he has been carrying with him long before you learned his name in this life. He should have learned it from that very first day that he finally had you under his watchful eyes again. When you tried to run from him, instead of trying to kill him. And there is no doubt, you did want to kill him—he saw that clearly with his aether core, and in every furious line of your beautiful body. But you resisted that urge, despite everything in you whispering through your being to devour him, to consume him, to feed yourself with the satisfaction of revenge and with all the strength he has to offer, and then discard his carcass.

But no. You had only tried to escape.

He should have learned it after the third day, when you refused to pull the trigger, and he had to do it for you.

He should have learned it when the twins woke you up, and they walked away unscathed. You hadn’t even tried to punish them for being accomplices to your long days of suffering and fear at Sylus’s hands. He had ordered them to use whatever force was necessary in order to protect themselves against any retribution from you, short of actually killing you. But you didn’t try to hurt them at all—you simply, and cleverly, he thinks with pride, arranged to be released  from the room in which you were being held with no confrontation at all.

He lifts you in his mind’s eye and, like the consummate judge of fine jewellery that he is, examines all the facets that he has managed to collect about you, in an attempt to truly see the whole of your magnificence, in this life—this version of you, without the layers of his expectations and memories that you don’t share obscuring the make and quality of the diamond that comprises the you in this life.

Yes, he sees the overlap between the other versions of you and the you of here and now, but there are such significant changes that learning you all over again could take another lifetime—one he’s already eager to dedicate to learning you, because from all the other previous versions of you through to the one who woke up in his arms the other morning, he can already tell that the core of you remains the same. Yes, he loves you not only because you are you and Sylus is Sylus, and he refuses to conceive of a world with one but not the other. But he loves you because of who are you, in every lifetime. Strong. Stubborn. Smart. A survivor. And soft, so deliciously soft, but only for him. And he’s going to make sure that you stay that way, despite all of the experiences of this life that have dented your armor and seem to have made you turn your innate razor edge inward, instead of against those actually responsible for the suffering you’ve been forced to undergo for so long, alone.

He had spent those many weeks purging his organization and cleaning up the shitshow that Sherman had left behind collecting the reports that Mephisto and the twins would bring him regarding the reckless way you would launch yourself into battle, often outmatched, and only just manage to emerge in one piece. All to protect, what—he snorts—clueless tourists? He has never seen a version of you that is so… selfless. Through hacked security footage and Mephisto’s eyes, he has since watched you suppress the reflexive urge to inflict pain on others when you’re in pain yourself. He’s watched you come to the aid of not only the elderly and children—those who society has deemed should be treated with the utmost care—but also ordinary people, idiots and criminals, ungrateful citizens who take it for granted that people like you risk their lives every day to protect people like them. And you help them with such patience that if it were anyone other than you, Sylus would probably feel a little nauseated and be convinced that it was just a show, some elaborate long-con. No one can be that consistently, disgustingly kind despite their worst urges.

But you are.

However, he has noticed that your selflessness goes beyond simply kindness towards others. He has watched you refuse to get medical aid when you clearly, desperately need it. He has watched you keep people at arms’ length, refusing to talk about what is happening to you emotionally. He has watched you go without sleep, and food, and breaks, through fight after fight. And he has watched you try to slap yourself, when you think that you’re having a stupid thought. He has watched you make a fist and hit yourself, hard, when you thought that he hadn’t actually been aching to wake up with you in his arms, lips along your skin, ever since he found you again.

It appears to Sylus like you’re still wielding the sharp blade of your will from all of his memories of you, but the difference now is that you’re holding it to your own neck instead of to the world’s.

He can accept that in this life, you are kind. And altruistic—although he gags a little thinking it. Everyone has flaws, and yours just happen to be of the sunshine and rainbows variety this time around. He will love you, not despite, but because these traits are all still you. His belligerent, funny, charming equal, in all things. But he will not accept that you continue to hurt yourself, instead of the people and institutions who don’t even deserve the honor of your blade, but have it coming to them anyway.

You may be holding your knife to your own throat instead of the world’s, but Sylus would destroy planets for you, and he has no qualms about doing everything absolutely necessary to destroy your impulse to hurt his favorite thing in this world, and any other.

However, he recognizes that such a challenge will require long-term, careful effort. He will need to spend more time plotting how to accomplish that goal. Currently, he has a more urgent matter that needs his attention.

Your inability to believe that he wants you. All of you. How can he help you overcome your cruelty to yourself if you’re convinced that he harbors a similar cruelty toward you? He is already certain that you want him, at least physically. He’d have to be blind not see how your eyes follow the movement of his hands, or remain fixated on his chest. As they should, considering how much effort he puts into maintaining his physical fitness, he sniffs. He has watched with pleasure as you swallow, and turn your head, forcing yourself to look anywhere but at him when he catches your gaze lingering on his body. In any other circumstances he’d rest assured that he could keep your eyes on him with less effort—although why would he not put every effort possible into providing you with maximal viewing pleasure?—Except for some reason the universe has deemed it necessary to fill your life with uncommonly good-looking people in this life. Sylus’s face may serve as an invitation to most venues, but your primary care physician's, professional partner's, and even that strange dandy artist friend's faces are … conceivably handsome enough to possibly draw your attention away from where it should be. Which is on Sylus.

He sees now that how he went about giving you what you needed when he first met you may have had… unaccounted for, lasting consequences. He was thrilled with how quickly you seemed to come around from hating his guts and wanting to murder him, to allowing him into your space, into your home, into your bed, even. Every single one of his ruses, no matter how transparent, have been successful thus far in both allowing him to get close to you, and to force you to take care of yourself a little better, even if it’s only while he’s with you.

But he may have miscalculated in not considering every possible consequence of the cruelty with which he first treated you. He did not foresee that because he played your villain so well, you would be unable to overcome your distrust of his intentions in approaching you despite him essentially wearing a sign that could light up even the N109 zone's gloom that says “I want to make you mine in every sense of the word.” Sylus has always been a firm believer that talk is cheap, and he is not a cheap man. Actions speak far louder than words, and he is determined to show you through his actions that he will always put his money where his mouth is when it comes to you. And now that he’s thinking about his mouth…

He does have things he wants to do with you, besides caring for you and simply basking in the pleasure of being with you. Badly. But he was sloppy, by staying the night last time. All of his carefully laid plans require the height of self-control, but no matter his steel grip on himself when he’s awake, even he can’t control his deepest impulses when he’s asleep. In his dream, you had your arms around him, holding him tight, your lithe, strong body wrapped around him like a second skin, your warm, mouth-watering scent filling his lungs. He needed to taste you, devour you, swallow you whole. But he can tell that you do not trust him yet, and he hadn’t been planning to give in to his feral lust for you like he did that morning until he is assured that you will believe him when he says he not only wants your body, but every other piece of you.

He knows why he had the dream. How could he not have dreamt of you, after enduring the entire evening with his self control fraying like a poor quality garrote as he resisted the urge to put not just his hands but his mouth all over you?

If he’s honest with himself, and he always is, staying the night was not the only miscalculation he made the other night. First, bringing you his clothes. He had fully expected you to thank him in confusion for the bag of clothes and then toss them into your closet to eventually be forgotten under the pile of laundry that inevitably stacks up during the weeks you’re working so hard. He had not anticipated that you would obediently take the bag of clothes and immediately change into them. Looking up to finding you standing in front of him, his sweater engulfing your gorgeous frame, the little sleep shorts that he imagined hugging your delicious ass hidden under the sweater’s hem, your powerful legs and cute fucking feet bare for him—and his scent combined with yours wafting toward him from across the kitchen island. He barely controlled the urge to sweep every single fucking thing off the counter and drag you onto it, to make a meal of you instead of the charcuterie board he had been carefully arranging for your pleasure.

And the way you ate the food from said board… watching you eat has risen in the ranks of his favorite things about you, on par with seeing the look on your face when you’re mad at him and about to say something mean and the soft way you nuzzle into him when you’re fast asleep.

In all his life, through all the fine things he has been able to experience due to his ever-growing wealth, all of the world’s pleasures at his fingertips if he so much as snapped them, he never would have imagined that he’d ever find himself desperately wishing to be someone’s finger. Or a puff pastry. Or that fucking strawberry between your teeth, its juices sliding over your plush lip and down your chin. Lick him, eat him, chew him with your sharp teeth and swallow him, for fuck’s sake he wanted to fill your mouth and crawl inside your skin and never leave. He may pride himself on having the willpower of protocore reinforced steel but it was probably the hardest thing he’s ever had to do, standing there motionless, as you moaned your pleasure from the pastry, as your pink tongue ran along your skillful, honey-sticky fingers. Your wholehearted, singularly focused, carnal enjoyment of something so simple as a savory tart was hotter than anything he’s ever seen his life. He wanted to record it and set a projector on a running loop aimed at an altar in his bedroom for his own personal worship. But Sylus is greedy. He will not settle for the pale replication of a recorded memory of the other night. He wants to feed you every single meal you require to keep living, with his own hands, so he can watch your face as you savor its flavors, as what he provides you nourishes your gorgeous body. No, Sylus is a greedy man. Instead of a projector as a permanent fixture in his bedroom, he intends to install you instead.

He shifts on his seat, these memories affecting him in a way that threaten to make his trousers uncomfortable. He needs to refocus, now. He needs to solve the problem at hand, and not let himself get distracted with the future if he wants to make his vision of the future a reality.

Your selflessness, and frankly, lack of self-esteem—despite all evidence pointing to the fact that you’re effortlessly and wildly desirable to most people who meet you—is proving to be the biggest cock-blocker he could have conceived of at the outset of his campaign to make you his in every way.

He has successfully gotten you used to him touching you, and being in your home. You let him caress you, hold you while you sleep. But again, he’s a greedy man, and that’s not nearly enough for him. He runs his thumb along his chin, mind racing.

Now it’s time to take this game to the next level: how to take you on a date, without it causing you to slam down your defenses, or worse, having it backfire like the wine tasting? Ah yes, the wine tasting. He had been curious: would you drop your guard, if you were tipsy? What kind of drunk are you? Would he be able to tease truths out of you that you still keep hidden, despite his convoluted ploys to draw them out of you? In this respect, his plan was a success. He now knows that you don’t drop your guard even with wine coursing through you, and are prone to being even more skittish than when you’re sober. A possibility he hadn't considered, however, was that as you sipped from the wine glass with your soft, soft lips, filling your mouth with wine, he had to restrain himself from knocking it from your hand so that he could tongue his own mouthful directly between your lips, his hand on your throat, feeling you swallow everything he gave you. He had wanted to take and fill your mouth, drag you to him from your stool to his lap, run his hands down your sides, slip his fingers under his sweater on your body, dip them under the band of those silk shorts—

He has to stop thinking about this. He puts his head in his hands. He's going to lose his mind if he keeps thinking about this, and now is not the time or place.  

Instead, he forces himself to recall the discovery that the look on your face is hilarious when you’re accused of being an unsophisticated heathen when it comes to the finer things in life. Granted, he had wanted to ensure that he wouldn’t have to worry about you blowing your cover if you ever have to go undercover and are expected to be a wine connoisseur, but he knew that you only served him wine in a mug that read CUNT just to be petty and spiteful, and not because you weren’t aware that wine glasses exist.

He laughs softly at the thought. You’re so fucking cute when you’re mean to him. Shit, he's going to have the same trouser problem again if he keeps thinking about you being mean to him.

He hadn’t meant to stay the full night. He was a busy man, after all, and the night was his time to conduct business. But you were so warm against him, so lovely with your soft hair brushing across his skin, frowning a little as if you were having a bad dream. And he had also had some of that excellent wine, so although he wasn’t anywhere near tipsy, he was so relaxed and comfortable that the idea of leaving you alone in your bed was more excruciating than usual. And so he just… let himself drift off after confirming that this particular chain of casinos are indeed the one he will be purchasing next.

Only to have the best dream he can remember having in a long while, and waking up with his teeth in your sexy as fuck body. Just one taste was not enough, and you had the gall to ask him if he was satisfied. He knows that Xavier is your partner and your friend, and he knows that you need people like that in your life. But Sylus feels like he is entitled to a big fucking reward for suppressing his urge to eviscerate that little sleepy shit for interrupting the conversation Sylus clearly needed to have with you to clear up any ridiculous thought that you might have that Sylus would want to sink his teeth into anyone else but you, in any lifetime.

He clenches his fist and tries to reassert control over the frustration building at the thought of this ongoing misunderstanding.

“Uh, boss?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you ... okay?”

Sylus comes back from the racing thoughts that he realizes he’s been having over the past few minutes, completely distracted from the current situation he finds himself in.

He’s lounging on a black leather booth, a low black-lacquered table stretching before him, an expansive one-way mirror stretching behind him. Kieran and Luke are both lounging on similar booths on either side of the closed black door, set in the crimson walls of one of the VIP lounges of one of the clubs Sylus owns. Amnesia. He snorts. If only he had been on the joke when he bought the place. But that’s neither here nor there. Suspended in front of him is a young woman. Hardly more than a girl, really, despite her best attempts to age herself through the skillful use of impeccable makeup.

She’s currently glaring at him, despite being wrapped in Sylus’s evol, which puts most other people into a state of catatonic terror. He likes her grit.

But it’s a testament to how distracted you’ve been making him lately that he has let his mind wander, even now, when he has business to attend to.

“Boss?” Kieran repeats, snapping his fingers.

“Is there a dog in here?” Sylus asks, examining his fingernails. He has been fastidious about keeping them trimmed short and smooth, ever since you nose-dived back into his life. Sylus is nothing if not prepared.

“Uh,” the twins look at each other, after looking around the room. “No?”

“No, there is not. Do I look like a dog to you, then?” Sylus asks, enjoying watching his henchmen start to shift uncomfortably when they finally catch on to this line of questioning.

“No, boss. Of course not!” they chorus in unison, as if Luke had also made the mistake at snapping his fingers at Sylus like an owner getting his pet’s attention.

“There will be consequences for displaying that level of disrespect to me in front of … our guest,” Sylus warns, and both young men’s shoulders slump. Sylus turns his attention back to the aforementioned guest.

She had been dragged in by the twins, kicking and shouting about suing them for assault and battery, abduction, and unlawful imprisonment. Her mascara had smudged a bit in the struggle, but her carefully braided hair and expensive looking, business professional pantsuit were still neat, and she looked beautifully put together. But she had fallen silent and her eyes had widened comically after the twins had dropped her into the middle of the room when she noticed Sylus sprawled across the couch at the back of the dimly lit space. She had immediately dropped to her knees.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. For whatever I did, just, please don’t hurt me,” she had begged, her tear-filled voice filling the room.

Sylus stood and approached her.

“I’ll do anything, just let me go. Tell me what I did, I’ll never do it again,” she sniffled. “I have children, please think of my children!”

“Look at me.”

When she did, he realized just how young she was. Younger than Kieran and Luke, probably. Practically a baby. He let the aether core in his eye flare to life, the pain streaking through him, the pressure in his head growing, as always, but he could see.

After a timeless moment, he was done and she sagged a little. She dared to timidly peek up at him. He twitched a finger and she was immediately lifted into the air by the tendrils of his evol. He plopped back down on the couch. And then, seeing the person before him suspended by the dark force of his evol, he had gotten distracted, thinking about you the other night, held aloft by the same tendrils. How you had been prepared to hurt yourself trying to break down your door to get away from the perceived threat. About how you had thought that he would take advantage of your vulnerability and drink his fill of your bare body, once you realized the threat was actually him. He scowls—he has no interest in savoring the naked lines of your perfect body until you eagerly strip for his pleasure, of your own volition.

Damn it, he's getting distracted again.

“Hey! Put me the fuck down! How dare you treat a woman like this?” The girl demands, all pretense of pathetic fear evaporating.

“I’m a feminist,” he responds. “You get the same treatment as anyone else who steals my motorcycle and then plans to stab me with that syringe in your pocket once you've lured me within reach with this... little innocent act.” He considers her for a moment. “Really convincing acting though. Apart from the bit about kids. I doubt you’ve barely graduated high school.”

“Don’t be a dick, I could be a teen mom,” she scowls. “And that is a freaky fucking power, dude.”

“Freaky, but useful.” Sylus flicks his gaze to Kieran and Luke. “How’d she do it?”

“Quick hands, electrical skills, and some really slick hacking. It took us so long to catch her because her driving is almost as good as yours.”

Sylus looks back to the girl. “How old are you?”

A calculating look crosses her face, but disappears so quickly that if Sylus wasn’t so attuned to micro expressions to keep himself and his people alive, he would have missed it. “Old enough for you, big man. I’m legal,” she purrs. “I can show you just how illegal I can be though, if you let me go. You caught me, you can play with me—you have your bike back, no harm, no foul. We then go our separate ways.” She looks at him steadily, her tongue flicking out over her deep red lipstick.

There is a long moment of silence so deep in the room that Luke and Kieran’s raucous laughter lands in it like a whale being dropped into a pond from a great height.

“Oh man,” Luke gasps, holding onto Kieran’s shoulder for support as they’re both bent over from laughing so hard.

“You’re wildly mistaken if you think this is a deal boss would make,” Kieran tries to wipe his eye while maintaining the position of his mask, which makes Luke giggle louder.

“Totally barking up the wrong tree,” Luke manages.

“Unfortunately, we must inform you that our boss is currently taken,” Kieran finally gives up, and the tears just continue streaming down his neck into his collar.

“I mean, not that being taken would prevent a slimeball from accepting your offer, but he’s not a slimeball, and he’s also taken.” Luke pauses, still trying to catch his breath. “Well, he’s not actually taken, yet. Doesn’t that require like, an offer, and acceptance? I don’t think he’s even managed to offer yet, right?” Luke tilts his head, considering.

“Oh, that’s a good point, Luke. Our boss is currently nourishing a one-sided obsession.”

“Oooh, obsession, that’s a good word. I would have said a crush, but you’re totally right, ‘crush’ doesn’t really cover this whole…” Luke continues, waving a hand at Sylus, as if to highlight the whole sad mess the man finds himself in regarding his love interest.

“Have you even opened the thesaurus I got you a couple weeks ago?” Kieran asks, putting his hands on his hips. "How can you properly compete with me in Scrabble if you don't work on expanding your vocabulary?"

“We’ve been really busy!” Luke protests, managing to radiate a pout through his mask.

“True. We’ve been quite occupied with stalking a certain hunter…” Kieran mumbles, glancing back to Sylus, who has been pinching the bridge of his formidable nose during this entire exchange. He learned long ago that he should just let Luke and Kieran do their bits, or he’ll never hear the end of their whining about him interrupting their comedic genius.

“What the fuck is this circus?” the girl finally asks, a look of disgust on her face as she glances between Sylus and his henchmen.

“I believe my subordinates are trying to thank you for the kind offer, but are emphasizing that I’m more interested in your vehicle theft and driving skills than… anything else, you might be willing to offer in exchange for me not harvesting your organs for re-sale and dumping your weighted corpse off the docks for stealing my motorcycle tonight, and thereby complicating my plans with my partner.”

The girl's eyes widen, just a little.

"Now, don't make me repeat myself again: how old are you?"

She stares at him for a second, and then mumbles, "Twenty."

"Excellent. You're hired." Sylus leans back in his seat, checking his watch and pulling out his phone. He expected you here by now. "On a few conditions."

“So she passed the test?” Luke asks, straightening on the couch.

“What test?” the girl asks.

Kieran gestures to his the mask where his eye would be under it. “The freaky test. To see if you’re trustworthy or not. Despite all evidence clearly pointing to a definitive ‘no.’” His voice sounds uncertain as he turns to look at Sylus.

The girl scowls, trying to turn and glare at Kieran. “I’m so trustworthy,” she promises, trying her best to look earnest and not like the compulsive little liar Sylus knows her to be after looking deep into her soul.

Sylus lets her squirm for a few beats because it’s kind of fun to see the mercurial expressions flit across her calculating face. Not anywhere near as fun as watching your face, but still entertaining. “I know,” he finally says, satisfied that she’s marinated long enough in uncertain fear to not forget that feeling anytime soon.

“So you’re not gonna kill me?” She perks up. Sylus just sighs and shakes his head. “And you don’t wanna fuck me?”

“Ugh, no,” Sylus grimaces like he just bit into something foul. “Please never say anything remotely like that again.”

“Deal!” She grins. “You’re not my type anyway. I mean, you're old, and like, it's bad enough that I have to endure Yaoi hands in manga." She grimaces. "I like roleplay, and things that come in pairs a lot, lot more.” Somehow, she manages to twist while still in the evol’s hold and leers at the twins, who both freeze, both masks turned towards her somehow radiating fear.

Sylus glances down at his hands. You seem to like them well enough, so he's not worried about her opinion, even if he were the type to suffer from insecurity. They're just proportional to the rest of him. He tries to control his smirk, but the thought of the noise you made when he bit you, and how you squirmed against him as he was waking up, makes it really hard to control his face. He shakes his head. Business.  “If I’m going to employ you, I need to be able to trust that you will follow two rules.” Sylus intones, interrupting whatever predator-prey themed nature documentary is currently playing out in front of him.

The girl turns back to him, looking wary again.

“Are you listening?” he asks.

She nods, and suddenly looks her age. A little afraid. A little curious.

“Rule number one. Do not sexually harass your colleagues,” he gives her a stern look.

“Aww,” she sulks, but at his Look, she nods. “And rule number two?”

“I have someone very important to me that I may need to ask you to help. By being available as a driver, anytime, anywhere. The kind of driver that may need to steal conveniently parked vehicles, and to outrun my competitors who will have dangerous intentions. Or worse: law enforcement. And you are not allowed to reveal this person’s existence to anyone, or the importance of this person to me. No matter what you learn in the course of your duties, either about this person, or me, you will. Keep. Your. Mouth. Shut. Do you think you can accept these rules?”

She looks at Sylus thoughtfully. “What are you going to punish your men with for snapping their fingers at you like you were a dog?” she finally asks.

He gazes steadily back at her. “I’m going to tell our chef that there will be no cheese on the menu for a week.”

The girl smiles radiantly as Kieran and Luke squawk their protests: “That is a horrendously unjust punishment!” (Kieran) “What the fuck boss?! Not cool!” (Luke).

“Okay, I can do that. But that’s three.”

“Excuse me?” Sylus can hardly think over the noise the twins are making.

“That’s three rules, not two. I can’t hit on the cosplay twins, I have to drive your unrequited crush whenever, and I can’t talk about what you two do.. or don’t have going on.” She shrugs. “Three rules.”

Sylus sighs, letting his evol set her back on her sensible heels. Why does he seem to attract the most unruly of employees in the entirety of both Linkon City and the N109 zone?

She strides over to him and pumps his hand vigorously. “Name’s Noah. What’s the salary for this gig, anyway?”

Sylus accepts her handshake, his own engulfing her tiny one. He intends to make great use of her skilled hands when he isn’t available to make sure you have a getaway car when you’re in danger, or to simply chauffeur you around Linkon City on errands that he thinks are too far for you to walk. And finally, to bring you to him, in the N109 zone, on the nights you’re too tired for it to be safe to drive yourself.

You just don’t know it yet.

“You assume I’m paying you, when I have already generously let you walk out of here with all of the organs with which you entered?”

“Well, speaking of organs, a girl's got to eat. Do I get to come to your chef’s dinners? If they don’t get any cheese, can I still have some?” Noah asks, flicking her braids over her shoulder and jerking a thumb at the twins. They shine silkily under the soft lights of the room.

“Boss, no,” Kieran and Luke beg.

“Yes I’m paying you, no you’re not coming to the base for meals unless your job requires you to be there around normal dining hours.” Noah pouts a little at this. “Kieran, Luke, stick around with Noah for a little while downstairs." Noah perks up, but then deflates when he continues, "But do not let her drink. When I've collected my kitten, you can take her to get set up with Linda. For now, send in Aidan, and the wine distributor who is probably getting impatient waiting for our meeting.” Sylus checks his watch again. He expected you here at eleven, and it’s already a quarter past already.

“Who’s Linda?” Noah asks, trailing Kieran and Luke out of the room.

“Our Human Resources manager,” Kieran answers.

Noah makes an impressed sound. “You guys have an HR manager?”

“Yeah, for like the employment agreement and insurance and benefits and stuff,” Luke answers.

“What kind of shady criminal outfit has fucking benefits?”

“Not those kind of benefits!” Kieran gasps, scandalized.

"Not fucking benefits, Kieran, but like... expletive, and then the noun," Luke tries to correct his brother's misunderstanding.

"Ooh," Kieran says. "Hey, I didn't know you knew the word 'expletive.'"

"Yeah, so, maybe next time think twice before accusing me of not even opening your gift," Luke grumbles.

Noah looks assessingly between the two of them. "You guys are actually pretty sweet." Luke and Kieran look at each other, and then look back at her.

"May I ask you a question?" Kieran asks, after an awkward silence.

"Sure," she shrugs.

"Why are you dressed like a real estate agent in her forties?" Luke asks.

"Uh," Noah glances between them again. "Is this a party trick? Like, you act like one person all the time in front of other people?"

"Act?" Kieran asks. Luke just stares at her.

"Okay, whatever. Keep your secrets, you little weirdos," she says affectionately, as if she hasn't just met them. "And I dress like this because who are you more likely to finger in a lineup for grand theft auto? Karen from accounting or the ripped-leather goth-bitch from the wrong side of the Linkon City-N109 zone border?"

"Aah," both twins nod sagely, and the door closes on their chatter with a soft whoosh of air.

Sylus unlocks his phone, and prepares to text you. Not knowing where you are is making him uncomfortable. He decides that he's going to put Mephisto on permanent kitten duty, starting tomorrow.

Time to move to the next state of play: discovering how long it takes to convince a certain hunter that Sylus is sincerely all in, and not just hunting you for sport. Let the wooing games begin.

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Pay Attention

[Resident Evil: Village] Daniela Dimitrescu x Female Reader

Word Count: 7.05k

Proofread: Yes

Content Warnings: Mentions of Daniela feeling like a burden, general angst-to-fluff, crying, soft pining, worries of delusions, and skipping a meal.

[A/N]: I was wanting to post this a week apart from Cassandra’s, but the WiFi went out and took a few days to fix, so I wasn’t able to work on her part. On top of that, I'm not entirely sure how to write for her character since I only recently started to come up with stories for her.

I had much more planned for this one, but I wanted to keep the word count in between what I had written for Bela and Cassandra, so I shortened a few things.

Also, this will be the last story for the Dimitrescu sisters for a while. Please check my bio for an explanation on that. I'll likely be writing for Amity Blight and Boscha from The Owl House next! Check the poll at the end of this story.

Enjoy!

 “Love can exert the same strain on the body as experienced intense fear. In a person in love, the same physiological reactions are observed: dilated pupils, sweaty palms, an increase in heart rate.” Pure intrigue and fascination sparked its way through Daniela’s body, her molten golden eyes skimming over the lines on the page that seemed to pull her in further with each passing word. A few weeks prior, when she had made her usual trip to the Village to visit the Duke and see what stories he had to offer, he had mentioned a book about facts relating to the human body’s anatomy and physiology–a book of “fun facts,” as he called it. Daniela had taken interest in this immediately and ordered it. During the time that she waited, she pondered about what kind of facts it could contain: whether or not it would mention how the body works when a human is in love.

Although she wasn’t entirely aware of it, there was a part of her mind that always brought her attention back to a certain maid that worked for her family. Anytime she thought of how the body might react to being in love with someone, her mind wandered to [Y/N] [L/N]. She would think of how soft her stare always seemed to be, how relaxed she appeared in the youngest Dimitrescu daughter’s presence. It made her feel as though she trusted her the way she was yearning for.

Subconsciously, she would begin to daydream. At first, it only started at night when she was getting ready to fall asleep after a long day. Over a–rather short–amount of time, however, she found herself staring into the distance at random times, completely in a blissful daze. The smitten woman would think constantly of [Y/N]’s steady gaze, and almost immediately fight to suppress a squeal once remembering how flustered she had gotten each time the two of them made eye contact.

After calming down, she’d dream of [Y/N]’s soft locks of hair that always seemed to frame her face so perfectly, cupping the outlining structure of her cheeks and jaw that she wished she could caress with her own hands. How she envied the way any other maid, or even one of her sisters, would so easily rip her attention away from her. She wished she could find a way to keep [Y/N]’s attention on her, find a way to make her pay attention, in other words.

To ease her growing frustrations, she’d turn her attention to [Y/N]’s lips. Although the young woman hadn’t worked for her family for very long–likely only two years–it didn’t take Daniela long to begin falling for her. Often, she would feel her eyes fluttering shut as she tried to vividly picture herself gaining the privilege to kiss her. She wondered how soft her lips would feel against her own. How warm they would be. Would they welcome her with the same spark of enthusiasm? Or would they freeze against her own before roughly removing themselves from one another?

She was often made fun of for being delusional when it came to romance, always falling back to rely on the romance novels she could be found burying her nose into on multiple occasions every single day. As much as she hoped her love would be reciprocated, she could feel the doubts and insecurities creeping in, wishing she didn’t have to consider the fact that her sisters may be right: she may be delusional about this romance.

Maybe she was making this out to be something so much more in her head.

Blending together and jumbling up her mind only made her daydreaming grow more frequent and harder to tear away from. She found herself retreating to her fantasies out of fear of it being the only way she would be able to hear [Y/N] tell her she feels the same way.

Her sisters would snap her out of it and, of course, tease her for it. It would always leave her flustered as she tried to act as though she wasn’t just fantasizing about her favorite maid, which she had personally requested serve the family for each meal.

She’d hastily make her way through her meal, ignoring the taunting of her older siblings, before excusing herself to fly back up to her room for some kind of privacy. She knew Bela and Cassandra would expect to find her in the library first–if they were to search for her–so she would hide away in her bedroom and distract herself with the stack of books she had stashed away in her wardrobe for such an occasion. Time and time again, she’d think about the book she ordered, increasingly growing fearful that it would only worsen her possibly deluded dreams.

After a while of waiting anxiously to learn more about the human body that always captivated her in more ways than one, the book finally arrived at the Duke’s cart. She paid him as promised and quickly fled back to the castle to read in the comfort of her favorite space, the library, leaving her sisters to continue their shopping on their own.

Thankfully, she had managed to keep her inattentiveness to a minimum. Because of this, she felt it was okay to go back to her sanctum to read, rather than secluding herself in her bedroom.

Brushing past the maids that worked deftly throughout the front parlor and all the way out to the opposite sides of the sturdy structure, Daniela finally made it to the library, where she shut the doors behind her and huddled up on the sofa closest to the center, allowing the large skylight above to provide light for her to read under.

She had curled up against the armrest, tucking one of the throw pillows against her chest and propping her legs up to press it further against her torso. Quickly, she flipped the front cover open and thumbed eagerly at the pages as she began to read the introduction–which opened by explaining how different events trigger different emotions and hormones throughout the brain and body. It was hard for her to suppress a yawn. The way the paragraphs were phrased, including the diction used, seemed more like something her eldest sister Bela would be interested in.

Seemingly countless words filled each pale, thin page, all of which added up to share different messages and facts about the physiological side of emotions. When the Duke had been talking of the book a few weeks prior, he made it seem far more interesting than what she was reading at the beginning. She had pictured interesting facts put together with very few words, short sections of small lists decorating the page with each bulleted point. She did enjoy lengthy novels using flowery language, which often used far more detail than this book had so far, but those had a story building up throughout each turn of a page.

The way the facts were laid out before her made her feel like she was being lectured by Bela.

The paragraphs seemed to stretch on and on. Her eyelids drooped upon feeling heavy, her boredom growing more and more evident across her features.

She sighed, swiftly flipping through the pages using the pad of her thumb, desperately searching for where the more interesting part of the book was. Finally, with a small cheer of triumph, she discovered what she was seeking out for. She smiled gleefully and nuzzled up against the sofa and the pillow. Her body sunk down into the cushions as she finally took interest in the words that rested underneath a large, bold title that read “Facts of the Brain.”

It had started off sharing facts about the brain connected to the nervous, digestive, and integumentary systems, though what truly caught her interest was when it started speaking of how love and romance affected the body. Finally, she found the part of the book she had been fantasizing about for weeks. Each fact drew her deeper and deeper into the pages, her senses tuning out the rest of the world. Her smile cracked wider and wider across her face, and just like she had done before she had even gotten her hands on the book, she pictured the effects taking place in her and [Y/N]’s bodies while dreaming of one day learning that her love was mutual.

Laughter is associated with the positive sides of love that partners share.

The initial stress of a relationship can cause physical symptoms similar to a heart attack, known as Broken Heart syndrome.

Different stages of love exist, with different reactions at the start of a relationship that are different from the ones that they feel when it is a long-term romantic attachment.

Being in love alters our personality and perception of things. We can become more open to things that our lover is into, or we may even become more optimistic about things.

Love leads to the deactivation of the amygdala in the brain, which regulates fear. Thus, you are less scared of outcomes and consequences when in love. You experience a fearlessness and bravery that you wouldn’t usually feel.

Gleefully, Daniela squealed in excitement over all of the new information greeting her. She continued reading, wondering if [Y/N] had ever felt any of these things while around her. She had certainly felt the intensity of her feelings anytime she so much as thought of the girl. Had [Y/N] felt the same?

The urge to share these interesting facts with her family grew stronger in her body. Maybe if she brought it up with her sisters and told them of how she wanted to use the information to finally confess to [Y/N], they would encourage her and help her do so.

Quickly, she stood from her spot on the small sofa. She spun on her heel and practically skipped towards the doors, softly closing the book and tucking it under her arm after folding the corner of the last page she had read. She flung the doors open in front of her, then tugged them shut before letting the lower half of her body swarm back into the flies that made up her being, allowing her to float above the ground and travel quickly down the hall. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to find Bela or Cassandra first. She had heard them come back home a while before, though she wasn’t aware of where they were.

Bela was likely in her study going over the paperwork her mother had given to her, and Cassandra was without a doubt in the armory crafting her newest weapon with the metals she had purchased from the Duke back in the Village. It would be far easier to visit Cassandra first, seen as how she was the closest.

Daniela made her way through the doorway that led to the hallway connecting the main hall’s stairway to the Wine Room. She slid past the balcony, brushing past the maids that seemed to cower back a bit at her presence. She then hooked a right at the end of the walkway, then a left, and went through a few more doors before finally reaching the armory. Just as she had assumed, Cassandra was in there, working away at designing a new dagger she would be able to add to her personal collection. She sat atop the crates stacked against the main pillar in the center of the room. A pen in hand, she sketched out her idea onto a sheet of paper that sat propped up in her lap. She used a thin sheet of wood as a surface to draw on.

She seemed not to have noticed her younger sister walk into the room, and Daniela smiled to herself. She lurked forward silently and hid behind the crates, peering out over the top. With a silent chuckle, she moved to float just behind her sister, sucking in a small breath and readying herself to yell in an attempt to startle her sister.

“Don’t even think about it, Dani,” Cassandra warned without glancing in her direction, continuing to focus on her newest blueprint in front of her instead. Daniela let out the breath she had been holding through a loud sigh, pouting as she crossed her arms and flew to stand in front of her sister. “You’re no fun,” she murmured. “I am so. I’m just working on something. Plus, I don’t think you realize that I was able to hear the door open and close when you came in.”

“It could’ve been Bela or a maid that came in! Why would you assume it was me?”

“Well, Bela wouldn’t have tried to creep up on me, she would’ve waited at the doorway and said my name or cleared her throat to catch my attention. And the maids know they aren’t allowed in here, especially if I’m already here, unless I ask them to polish the armor. I knew it was you. And either way, I could smell you coming from down the hall.”

“H-Huh?”

“Your perfume, Daniela. It’s so strong all the time. Makes me wanna pinch my nose shut every time so I don’t have to smell it. God, are you trying to cover up the smell of all the blood and death on you? Because if you are, it’s not working.”

Daniela could feel her face burning, the blush that had already begun to form on her cheeks out of embarrassment now creeping up onto the tips of her ears. She felt her shoulders tensing up, the grip on both her book and her arm tightening to a painful degree. “Th-That’s not true! I’m not trying to hide anything with my perfume!” She scowled and stared at Cassandra for a moment, although her gaze was not met. Her sister continued to stare down at her sketches, though there was a cocky grin plastered on her face. Daniela scoffed and shook her head.

“That doesn’t matter,” she started again, tugging the book out from under her arm as she once again looked up at her sister. “I wanted to show you this book! It’s full of all kinds of facts about the human body and mind, and I finally got to the part about how love affects the body, and I wanted to–” “I’m not interested, Daniela. I’m busy. And besides, you’re the only one who cares about all of this romance stuff this much. The rest of us are perfectly fine with keeping it to ourselves.”

Daniela frowned, her enthusiasm beginning to crumble in a very visible way. She thought for a moment about what she could say to capture her sister’s attention. “W-Well, I know you don’t really care for my interest in romance novels, b-but I think you’d like the rest of the book! It’s–”

“Daniela, I’m not interested. I don’t care what the rest of the book is about, I don’t want to hear it. If you’re only going to pester me with this when you know I’m busy, then just leave.”

Daniela’s frown only deepened, her gaze dropping down to the floor. “I-I’m…not meaning to bother you, Cass. I’m sorry. I just wanted to share it with someone, and you were the closest one to me, so…” She turned her attention to the book still waiting to be opened again in her trembling hands. She absolutely hated the feeling of being a burden to anyone. Before she could get too deep into her head, however, she began heading towards the door again. Perhaps Bela would be more accepting of her excitement.

She retraced the trail she had taken to find the armory, though she flew downstairs into the main parlor instead. Her arms tugged the book closer to her chest as she soared all the way to Bela’s personal study. There, she made sure to knock before entering.

“Who is it?” Bela asked softly from the other side of the door. “It’s just me,” Daniela replied. Bela sighed. “Come in.” After the confirmation that she could come in, Daniela opened the door and headed inside before closing it behind her. She spun around and walked over to Bela’s desk, where her eldest sister was working away, already buried in paperwork again. “What do you need, Dani? Is something wrong?” Bela briefly glanced up at her before shuffling a few papers, letting out a small sigh when she found the paper she was seemingly looking for.

The youngest daughter stood next to the desk and stared at Bela patiently. “N-No, nothing is wrong. I just…wanted to know if I could share something with you.” The blonde grumbled something under her breath and pinched the bridge of her nose as she leaned back against her chair. “As long as it’s made brief, yes.” Daniela’s frown returned. “Oh, well…” She tapped the front cover of her book, catching Bela’s attention. “Not exactly something brief, but I thought you might like to hear about it. You know…just in case you decide you want something to read later on down the line.”

Bela sighed again, running both of her hands down her face. “Dani, you know I would usually have no issue with you talking to me about your stories, but,” she was cut off as Daniela leaned forward and interrupted her. “But it’s not a story this time! It’s a whole book filled with fun facts about the human body! I think you’ll really like it.”

“Look, that sounds interesting, I suppose. But I’m really busy, and I need to get all of this finished before the end of the week. Which is in three days, mind you, in case you weren’t already aware.” Bela slid forward again and picked up a smaller stack of documents tucked away in files. She thumbed through them, checking the labels for what she was searching for. “If you really must share it with someone, go find Cassandra instead.”

“I already did though. She said I was just irritating her and that I needed to leave while she works on her new weapon. I figured maybe you’d be more interested in it.” Daniela grimaced at a thought that made itself known in the front of her mind. “I’m not…bothering you, am I?” Bela looked up at her finally. “Listen, you know I don’t enjoy being blunt with you, but quite frankly, yes, you’re bothering me. These papers are very important, Dani. I have to focus on them right now.”

Again, Daniela’s confidence began to crumble. Even more so when her sister once again turned back to her work as if it were far more important than her. “Oh, I-I’m…I’m sorry.” She began to back away, unable to tear her eyes away from her feet as they led her backwards. “I didn’t mean to,” she whispered, her voice cracking.

She twirled back to face the door, slipping through it and leaving abruptly. She could feel her insecurities eating away at her self esteem. Tears began to form and prick the corners of her eyes. She let out a small sniffle and began to head out towards the courtyard. “Perhaps mother will listen to me.”

She traveled all the way through the large, open space, grateful that the weather permitted her to do so peacefully. She made it to the structure connected to the space just across the dining room, floating up the stairs, through the doorway, and then turning to go up yet another set of stairs. She then took a few more turns before finally making it to her mother’s chambers. She pressed her ear to the door, smiling weakly when she heard her mother moving around on the other side.

Swiftly, Daniela knocked on the door. “Yes?” Her mother questioned, her tone professional in case it was a maid. “It’s just me, mother. May I come in?” “Of course, dear. Just try to keep your voice down.” Daniela was confused by the last part of her mother’s statement, but she still turned the door’s handle and pushed it forward, allowing her to step inside. She smiled, though it quickly dropped once she saw that Alcina was on the phone, likely with Mother Miranda again.

“O-Oh, I’m sorry, mother. Is this a bad time?” Alcina glanced over at her softly for a moment, though quickly sighed and furrowed her brow. “No, Daniela, it’s not–ah, yes, Mother Miranda. I’m aware. I can assure you that everything will go accordingly.” Daniela made no move to step further, already sensing that she was becoming a burden to yet another one of her loved ones. “I’ll leave you be. I-I’ll see you during dinner,” she mumbled just loud enough for her mother to hear.

She turned and left the room just as Alcina looked back over at her again. “Daniela, wait.” Another sigh. “Mother Miranda, I understand. Yes, I know how important this is to you.”

The entire time she had tried to share her interest in this new book she found, Daniela had been fighting back tears. With each way of saying that she was only being a nuisance, her confidence faltered before shattering into pieces. Now, after bottling it up for so long in hopes of being able to change her attitude, she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. They streamed down her face as she rushed back up to her room, locking her door and crawling up against the pillows on her bed.

Until she managed to think things through and calm down, Daniela intended to hide away in the comfort of her bedroom. She wiped at her face, scolding herself for being so emotional for such a ridiculous reason. Her family was simply busy doing their own things–they didn’t owe her the time of day.

But she wanted so badly to share something she was so passionate about with someone. Her excitement had blinded her to the fact that she truly was burdening the others as they tried to work. They were all doing important things, and she was curled up on her bed, sobbing because she wasn’t able to keep the attention on her?

How pathetic.

How selfish.

She sucked in a shaky breath, trying desperately to bring her crying to a halt. It failed, however, as another sob wracked through her body. She whimpered, feeling as though she truly was weak since she wasn’t even able to keep a straight face. She shifted and turned on the bed, burying her face in her pillow as she tossed the book onto the floor. Maybe the plush surface beneath her would muffle the sounds of her vulnerability.

“Lady Daniela? Will you be joining your family for dinner anytime soon? They’ve asked me to see if you’ll come down.” “No, I’m not going to eat dinner tonight. I-I, um…Just really want to finish my book. Tell them I’ll find something to eat later, will you?” “Of course.”

It had been a few hours since Daniela’s meltdown. She had finally managed to stop crying within the first hour of hiding away, though she still felt too depressed to leave her room. Dinner had been ready for over half an hour at that point, yet she was the only one not to have joined her family downstairs to eat. It surprised her mother, as she was usually the first one seated, always eager to see what the kitchen staff had prepared for their meal that night. She had sent a maid up to her youngest daughter’s room four times, asking them to encourage her to come down and join them, even though Bela and Cassandra were already finished eating.

The two waited patiently at the table per their mother’s request, although they also wanted to use the time spent at dinner to apologize to Daniela for the way they treated her. They both felt guilty for it and spoke to each other about how they could make it up to her. When she didn’t join them at the table, however, they could feel their regret growing stronger. They often poked fun at her for different things, but Daniela knew it was all in good fun. She knew they didn’t really mean anything by it.

They were sisters, after all, and they even mocked each other at different points. Most of the time she would laugh at their jokes aimed in her direction. They must’ve really hurt her for her not to at least come downstairs long enough to eat dinner with them.

After waiting another half hour, they decided that it was best to give her a bit of space before they tried to properly apologize for what they had done. They left the dining room. Alcina, however, continued to wait there for her youngest to show up. She never did, and after yet another hour, Alcina headed upstairs to her own room to retire for the night. She knew her daughter likely needed time to herself, especially after Bela and Cassandra explained what had happened. In the morning, she’d make sure to check in on her daughter personally and apologize to her herself.

All the while, Daniela remained in bed, staring blankly at the wall the side of her bed was pressed up against. Her eyes were dull, straining as she fought to stay awake. She wasn’t sure why she wasn’t letting herself fall asleep. She knew she’d feel better if she got a bit of rest, but for some reason she just wouldn’t let her eyes stay closed.

Her mind was swarming with all kinds of negative thoughts, none of which managed to do anything but dampen her mood even further. She must’ve lied there for hours in absolute silence. Everyone else, including the maids, had already gone to bed, which is why it was such a surprise when a knock sounded from her door. She nearly jumped out of her own skin. A loud yelp slipped past her lips as she jolted upright and felt her head whip towards the direction of the door.

Who could that possibly be? Surely her sisters weren’t up at this hour. It was long past midnight, and although she knew the two of them were more insomniatic than she was, she could tell from the way that silence followed the knock that it wasn’t them. Still, her heart hammered in her chest as she tried to decipher the scent.

“Wh-Who is it?” She asked shakily.

“It’s me, Daniela,” [Y/N] responded from the other side of the door. “Is it alright if I come in?” Daniela’s heart began to race even faster, though it was for a different reason now. Why was [Y/N] the only one who came to check in on her herself? Perhaps she cared more for Daniela than her own family did. She hesitated, her mind telling her she’ll only be a burden to the woman she loved so dearly. Ignoring those cruel thoughts, she wiped her face and straightened out her dress. “Yes, come on in,” she finally said at length.

Slowly, the door creaked open to reveal [Y/N], who peered in through the dim lighting the candles from the hallway managed to provide. “What’s up?” Daniela asked softly, watching as the young woman closed her bedroom door and walked over to her bed. She sat on the edge of it and gazed over at her. Even with how dark her room was, Daniela was able to see the concerned look on [Y/N]’s face. “I heard about what happened today. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Daniela smiled weakly, her heart pounding against her ribs once more. She glanced down at her lap, tugging her gloves off and tossing them to the side to pick at her nails. Her palms flipped downwards to desperately try to wipe the sweat onto the fabric of her dress. “I-I’m fine,” she mumbled in reply, her voice almost inaudible. [Y/N] shifted on the bed, the mattress suddenly sinking down next to Daniela as she sat beside her. “C’mon, you and I both know that’s not true. I can see it on your face. And in your body language. You’re upset. You don’t have to hide it. You don’t have to tell me about anything, but I can promise you I won’t judge you for whatever it is you’re upset about.”

Now, as her lip began to quiver for the first time in hours, Daniela managed to peer over at her from the corner of her eye. She tried to maintain her composure, though it was quick to falter as [Y/N] held out her arms and gazed at her with those damned eyes. “C’mere.”

Without meaning to, Daniela whimpered and practically seemed to lunge forward as she dove into [Y/N]’s embrace, letting her face bury itself into the smaller woman’s shoulder as she let out a small sob. She wasn’t entirely sure what it was about this girl that made her feel so safe, other than her love for her. Something about the way [Y/N]’s eyes always seemed to show a sign of trust and never held any judgment made Daniela feel as though she could confide in her about anything.

[Y/N] was quick to rock her back and forth, her fingers gently stroking the unshaven side of the redhead’s messy hair and scratching soothingly at her scalp. “Everything is going to be okay, Dani. And they didn’t tell me to say anything, but your sisters and mother are very sorry for whatever it was that they did to you. Believe me. I was able to see it on their faces during dinner.” Daniela sniffled softly and tilted her head to peer up at [Y/N].

“You were there during dinner?” [Y/N] nodded down at her with a soft grin. “Yes. I was also…” She seemed to hesitate, worried about something. Daniela straightened up at this to look her in the eye. “What is it?” “Ah, I just–I was also there in the room with Bela earlier when you tried to show her your book. I heard what happened.” A soft shade of crimson dusted Daniela’s cheeks as she turned her head away in embarrassment. “Oh, I didn’t even realize. I-I’m sorry you had to see me act that way.” “What way?” “Like a spoiled brat. I-I sounded like I just wanted attention, didn’t I?”

Gently, [Y/N]’s hand came to rest on her shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “No, not at all. I can understand being upset about not being able to share something you’re passionate about, and I could clearly tell you were passionate about the book you were carrying.”

Daniela looked back up at her again, slightly surprised. “You don’t think I was being pathetic?” “No, not at all! I’d probably react the same way, honestly.”

Daniela smiled and hummed after a moment. She crossed her legs and returned to where she had originally been sitting on her bed, staring down at her lap. “Th-Thank you for not judging me,” she murmured quietly at length. “It really does mean a lot.” Her head lifted so she could once again look [Y/N] in the eyes, her smile never faltering, and instead growing. “Anytime, Dani,” came the smaller woman’s reply. They gazed at each other for a while, not realizing it.

Suddenly, a look of pure confusion riddled Daniela’s face. “Wait, if you were in the room with Bela when I came in earlier, then how did you not know what I was upset about? And…why did it seem like you didn’t know about any of it until my family “told you?””

Again, a look of anxiousness crossed [Y/N]’s features. She averted her gaze and began to fidget with her fingers. “A-Ah, well, I just didn’t want you to know I had listened to what happened. I thought you might be mad at me for it.” Daniela stared at her, bewildered, but quickly smiled and chuckled. “I could never be mad at you. Especially not over something like that.” She took [Y/N]’s hand into her own and gently caressed the back of it with her thumb.

Daniela sighed in relief. The noises pounding in her mind began to soften, finally feeling at ease for the first time in hours.

“Oh!”

She jumped at that, her heart stuttering in surprise as she quickly turned her attention back to [Y/N], who looked excited now.

“Speaking of that book, I was actually going to ask if you could show me some of the facts you were trying to talk about!” An unusually wide smile cracked across Daniela’s lips, almost to a painful degree. “You’d really be interested in that? And you’d pay attention?” [Y/N] nodded with a look of pure intrigue. “Yeah, of course! I managed to spot the cover of the book while you were in the room. It’s about the human body, right?”

Daniela nodded, quickly flying over to where she had tossed the book to pick it up before returning to the bed. “Yep! The first half is really really boring, but the rest of it is really cool! I love the part about how love and romance affects the body so far.” [Y/N] giggled at her and reached over to the nightstand to light a candle. “I figured as much. That’s very in-character for you,” she replied softly, making Daniela blush.

“Is that a bad thing?” She questioned sheepishly. “No, of course not. It’s actually one of the things I love most about you.” Daniela’s face burned even brighter, and she secretly scolded herself, trying to force the blush to die down before the candle lit up the small space next to them.

“Oh, Daniela. Did that new book you were talking about finally make it in?” Bela asked from the sofa in the front parlor, Cassandra’s head perking up at this. The youngest of the three beamed brightly over at them and chuckled. “Yeah, it did.” Her two older sisters smiled back at her. “Would you want us to read it with you?”

Daniela eyed them for a moment, though her expression quickly changed before they could notice. “Oh, no, it’s fine. I was actually planning on reading it with [Y/N] first! She’s in the library right now: I told her to wait there for me while I grabbed the book from the Duke’s shop.” She hummed and swarmed up, flying all the way across the property to the library, where she found [Y/N] waiting for her on her favorite sofa.

Similar to the way she had been doing almost all day everyday, Daniela smiled wide, squealing from excitement and catching [Y/N]’s attention, who turned to her and grinned in return, waving at her. “Dani, hey! Did you get the book?”

With an enthusiastic nod, Daniela soared over to the sofa and plopped herself down next to [Y/N], leaning against the armrest. “Sure did! Volume two of fun facts over the human body.” She pulled the book from underneath her arm and swayed it back and forth with a teasing smirk. She then set it up against her lap and flipped open the front cover. Bringing her closed hand up to cover her mouth, she cleared her throat, then began to read the story aloud.

As she spoke, she got lost in the words. She hardly noticed as [Y/N] shifted on the cushion in front of her. She was made aware of her movement, however, once the smaller woman leaned against her shoulder to read the words on the pages as well.

Her voice shook and cracked in surprise, her confidence in the words she spoke beginning to waver as she stared down at [Y/N]. “U-Um, are you alright?” She looked up at Daniela in confusion. “Yeah, of course,” was her soft reply. “Just wanted to get cozy, y’know?” Uncharacteristically, Daniela grew sheepish. She was often the one who made a bold move to fluster others–she wasn’t used to someone else doing it to her, let alone the woman she loved.

“Y-Yeah,” was all she could mutter, forcing herself to tear her gaze away and focus back on the words decorating the pages. She continued to read it aloud, though she wasn’t able to comprehend anything she read. This continued for a long while, and finally she was able to get back into a more confident headspace. Her attention to the facts returned.

A gentle yawn sounded from Daniela’s shoulder, prompting her to look down at the source. [Y/N] rubbed her eyes before letting them flutter shut. She sighed as she nuzzled back up further into Daniela’s shoulder. Her nose gently bumped against her neck. The redhead shuttered, causing her breath to halt for a moment. How long had they been reading together? Surely it couldn’t have been that long.

She turned her head to glance up at the skylight, finding that the sky above was growing darker, almost pitch black. “Oh, I hadn’t even realized we’d been here all day. Sorry about that, [Y/N]. Should I carry you back to your room?” [Y/N] shook her head after a moment, seemingly already halfway asleep. “No, I’m fine. This is really comfortable. You can keep reading if you’d like.” Daniela smiled softly down at her and nodded. She shifted her arm to tuck it underneath [Y/N]’s torso and pull her closer, using her free hand to flip the pages of the book as she read silently to herself.

Another hour must’ve passed before Daniela finally finished the book. “Man, it’s much faster to read something in my head than out loud,” she whispered to herself, closing the cover and gently placing the book on the ground next to the sofa. She yawned and sighed, glancing back over at [Y/N]. Her eyes were shut, her breathing and heartbeat slow and steady. Daniela grinned and absentmindedly pressed a gentle kiss to the top of the woman’s head. She couldn’t see it, but her pupils were blown from the love and admiration traveling throughout her body.

“I’m glad you’re asleep,” she started. “I-I promise I’ll tell you this to your face when you’re actually…y’know, conscious–when I can find the courage–but…I love you, [Y/N]. You’ve cheered me up countless times, especially these past few weeks. You’ve always made me laugh and made sure I knew that you were actually paying attention to me. You make sure I know you’re actually interested in what I have to say, and that really does mean the world to me.

“I hope I can help you feel the same way. There are so many things I never want you to have to experience, but feeling useless, or ignored, or…like you’re a burden is definitely one of the major ones. If you ever feel like you have no one else to go to, I just want you to know that I’m here.”

She giggled to herself, running a hand through her hair and then down her face. “I want to keep telling you about how much I love you and why I do, but I feel like I should save all of it for when you’re actually awake to hear all of it. I want you to know just how much you mean to me. Though, that’ll be hard to explain since you mean the world–no, more than the world to me.”

Finally, she let herself relax, leaning back against the armrest and closing her eyes with a heavy sigh. She couldn’t wipe the smile from her face if she tried. Again, just like she had done multiple times over the past few weeks, Daniela jumped. [Y/N] seemed to be unnaturally good at catching her off guard. She wasn’t sure if she was proud of that or not.

“Aww, Dani, that’s so sweet,” she mumbled. Daniela’s eyes shot down to her still resting against her shoulder, a bead of sweat forming on her forehead. “H-How much of that did you hear?”

“All of it.”

Daniela whined in embarrassment. She used her free hand to hide her reddened face, mumbling things under her breath. [Y/N] giggled at her reaction, one arm moving to wrap around the redhead’s torso and pull her closer. Her face nuzzled against Daniela’s collarbone as she smiled and sighed. “But…I love you too. I want you to know that.”

For what must’ve been the fifth time that evening alone, Daniela’s head whipped back around to let her stare at [Y/N]. “You do…?” She whispered, her voice once again cracking as tears unwillingly began to prick her eyes.

“Of course I do. How could I not?” [Y/N] said it like it was the most obvious thing on earth. She really found it odd that Daniela was surprised about her feelings being mutual?

Daniela’s lip quivered. Slowly, she shifted onto her side to fully face [Y/N], who finally opened her eyes to gaze up at her. The smile that caressed her lips so beautifully only made Daniela’s heart flutter. “Could…you say that again?” [Y/N] smiled.

“Yes. I’ll say it to you as many times as you’d like. I love you, Dani.”

She leaned up and began to pepper the woman’s face and head with kisses, whispering a faint “I love you” with each one.

Daniela finally let out a small laugh mixed with a sob. She leaned forward and pulled [Y/N] closer. [Y/N] smiled down at her, shifting up a bit further to comfortably pull the weeping girl into her chest. Her fingers raked through the red locks that rested against the armrest, lulling Daniela further into a sense of security and bliss. “I’ll always be here for you, okay? Anything you need, I’m here: I’ll be here to listen, pay attention, make you laugh, and love you. Just like you said to me, if you ever feel like no one else is there, just know I’ll be waiting for you with open arms.”

Tears soaked through [Y/N]’s shirt, though she didn’t mind. She could feel Daniela smiling broadly against her clothed skin, and that made everything feel like it was worth it.

[wingzie]

Hi Lovely!

You are the G.O.A.T Jikook historian and I love, love, love your threads on Twitter. I also love your posts you’ve been doing here on your thoughts and perspectives all things Jikook, jikookers and the fandom.

I have a question. I’ve already talked about it a while ago but I wanted your take. What’s your opinion on people feeling like Jikook haven’t been the same post-2020 and the fact that EVEN MORE feel like since chapter two Jikook are not in a ‘relationship’ anymore. I use ‘relationship’ as it’s the easiest word to use for them for this ask, whatever people believe the labels for Jikook’s jikooking should be.

Do you think that:

a. There IS a difference in Jikook of the past and Jikook of now?

b. Do you think that if they once had something they no longer do?

c. Do you think that Jikook are no longer close after chapter 2.

We know Jikook are currently serving together and used the buddy system but apart from that, if you were to answer the above with evidence as the Jikook historian you are, what’s your take.

Thank you for your part in making Jikook spaces fun and informative 😉

💜

Hello! Thank you for your kind words and for sending in the ask. Let’s get into it with some honest truths: I don’t see a difference and I don’t think anything has changed. I am very much aware of what people are saying, but this is a pattern that repeats itself every single time there is less content to “feed” those who are less patient. Or, even worse,  those who want to control Jimin and Jungkook.

On 8th March 2020, BTS were told that their April concerts in Seoul would be cancelled. As we know, this later included the cancellation of their entire tour. Both the members and entire fandom were very upset about this, but I remember very vividly reading takes on the Jikook side of Tumblr saying: "but what about our Jikook content?" When, in all honesty, that should never have been the main focus when the entire world was experiencing a pandemic. I've seen this complaint several times. This happened during their vaction in 2019 and it's even happening now whilst they are in the military. It is incredibly selfish. I may be a Jikooker, but I understand that Jimin and Jungkook are their own people.

Hindsight is also a wonderful thing. There are a lot of times that we don't know about something, until it is revealed later on. We didn't know that Jikook ate dinner together after one of their concerts until the docuseries was released. This goes for 2018 AND in 2022. There are certain things that Jikook do because it is to heavily engrained into their routine together. We just won't always witness or hear about it.

How is this all linked though? There has been a change in content releases. We were used to Memories being released every summer and a Run episode every Tuesday. Episode 155 was the last weekly episode, released in October 2021. The last Special Episode was released in February 2023. They would have been filmed years apart, but they still show the same closeness and loving spirit. Both of these episodes also included some Jimin butt loving from Jungkook!

When chapter 2 began, it was obvious that Jimin and Jungkook were focusing on their own things. They do not have a persona in BTS to explore with, so this was their chance to share their stories or experiment with other music. Though busy, they still supported each other massively with social media posts or hyping each other on Lives. This is another pattern which has maintained over the years.

We also know that they have been on several trips together. They may have been on many more that we don't know of. I personally don't worry about it, I just support them as much as I can without putting any pressure on them. That would be unfair. I just think that whenever we do see anything from them, we are very lucky.

I know this response is probably what you (and others) weren't expecting, but I think those saying these things are probably too involved in Jimin and Jungkook's lives. That also goes with the amount of leaked photos and videos lately that I have seen on all platforms. Respect goes a long way and some are abusing it. (And thank you for always showing it in your own posts!) I am working on a "Jikook during Chapter Two" post, coming soon!

[jw-horror-stories]

Oh, boy, let me think of some good stories. I was fortunate enough that my family never tried to pressure baptism on me (My grandfather did, but only once). I never got baptized because of this.

I also lucked out in that I don't have any creepy old man stories, or anything else of that nature.

I DO have trauma from they way they use the world 'homosexual'.

Once, when my sister was like, 5? She made a board game all by herself, using paper. It was called 'Run Away from the Demons and Go to Jesus.' There were some awesome stick figure demons. Jeezy Boy, however, did not make it into the picture.

My parents had a good sense of humor about it, though.

I vividly remember reading a Watchtower article discussing a man who had a 'homosexual lifestyle' before coming into 'the truth'. He prayed to God and it went away tho!!! Prommy!!!!

(I feel so bad for him and I hope he realizes he doesn't have to do that.)

If I get anymore crazy stories, I'll let you know (I'm a minor and am stilled being brought every Sunday).

As soon as I sent that last ask I remembered a story! I had to listen to a talk given by a brother who clearly did NOT research evolution outside of the JW publications. He said (all in his talk about EVOLUTION): - There is NO evidence for evolution. None. Not even a bit. Not a single piece. Nada. - The sun will never run out of (quote) "fuel". (I don't remember how this tied in at all. Chances are it didn't.) - If bees died there would NO POLLINATORS. AT ALL. No more bees; no more anything!!!! (He literally said that without bees no flowers would ever be pollinated. Man has not seen a butterfly. Tragic.) - AI stands for AUTOMATED INFORMATION. (He did mean actual AI, he used this talking point as a 'gotchya' because humans cannot come close to creating a brain. Therefore: God.) - Evolution is being taught EXACTLY THE SAME as it was 60 years ago. (Tell me you've never looked into it without telling me you've never look into it.) The only difference is when HE was a kid it was a THEORY but now it's taught as a FACT. (No???) - Things NEVER crash in space because GOD is guiding them! (???? Man said this DURING a meteor shower btw) - Ants are NOT STRONG. (What. What are you talking about.) In the same line as the previous note he DID say elephants are strong. This is evidence of god's POWER. (I nearly had to leave the room. Elephants are evidence of god's power but ANTS are not???) This was all in one 45 minute talk. He bounced from point to point so much that it was too hard to follow and he just said straight-up untrue things half the time. If it wasn't so infuriating, it would have been funny.

Hoo boi, lots to unpack here, so let me just get everything done in one ultimate post.

The first part about the homosexuality, all I can say is that more likely than not the article you mentioned was most likely fictitious, or at least greatly embellished (probably involved a slightly girly man, or a slightly boyish woman, all that GNC shit they don't like).

And now, that 45 minute indoctrination session talk you heard.

There is NO evidence for evolution - yeah we were always at war with Eurasia. Okay, not quite that level of Orwell, but it's still bad. And also laughably stupid.

The sun will never run out of (quote) "fuel". - all part of a large over-arching narrative of "god has god powers so sun is forever and so is humans"

If bees died there would NO POLLINATORS - nevermind the butterflies for a moment, if such a cataclysmic mass extinction of bees did happen, flowers that do not need pollination would overtake the gene pool, and oh look, evolution. Those that survive the new conditions would take over. Funny that.

AI stands for AUTOMATED INFORMATION - I keep reading AI as "Accuracy International". Hey, if he can put in irrelevant nonsense then so can I. Only difference is I'm not pulling any bullshit here. Look them up, pretty cool, but autistic infodumping will have to wait.

Evolution is being taught EXACTLY THE SAME as it was 60 years ago - You can tell roughly how old this speaker was. Hey gramps, your information is pretty outdated, have you finally switched over to Windows 98 yet?

Things NEVER crash in space because GOD is guiding them! - Oh okay, so his knowledge of magnetic fields would imply that he's yet to discover the automobile. Or that it costs more than $5 a day for a good living wage. Does he even know about the Printing Press?

Ants are NOT STRONG - ok boomer

ngl it was actually kinda fun to respond to those talking points, just because of how utterly absurd it all is. I find that laughing at it rather than trying to understand the reasoning is ultimately better for one's mental health.

-Mod Degurechaff, needs more shit to respond to

[vyntilador]

Just Like a Star

————————————————————————————————————

The way the sunlight reflects off of your eyes—

I hated how in every time that I turn my gaze towards you, everything around you sparkles with me only focusing on you. How my gaze automatically finds you even in a huge crowd, how your eyes shine bright like a polished diamond.

—the way your smile shines like the stars in the sky.

Or when we make eye contact and your perfectly plump lips turn upwards into a smile as your whole face softens with the loving look on your eyes.

Meeting you was a whole new world imagined—

I still remember how our first interaction was something out of a fairytale. How you suddenly arrived and how the whole world fell apart and emphasizing your figure.

—and no matter how hard I dreamed, it seems that I will never be seen.

And the unfortunate moment that I follow my heart and find you, my eyes land on the one you were destined to be with. How your gaze softened and your eyes shone with only the sight of her made my stomach churn and my heart go crazy but for a different reason.

My heart shatters and my hopes are crushed but I accept the fact that there's no more time to rush.

I sit in front of my desk, frantically writing down all of the unexplainable feelings you've given me through the moments I shared with you in fear that if I don't, the pain lingering in my heart will turn for the worse.

You don't need to accept my confession to you, for I know that you've given your heart to someone new.

My face dampens with the tears filled with the aching feeling of sorrow as I recall the moment you walked past me with her hand in yours. The scene of you holding her in your arms, the moment you received some feathers from a friend as they tell you to give it to her. I remember it all vividly.

And now, I'll force myself to stay gazing at you from afar—

I hold the letter close to my heart with my other hand containing the phone that showed me this sweet moment of you and her sharing a memory that'll last forever.

—for you shall be far from my reach, just like a star.

I was willing to do anything to have your favor. To keep your sweet smile all to myself. To risk it all and go against my parents wishes. I was willing to grab a single star from the sparkling night sky to give it to you yet just as how such thing would be impossible, you were still able to do it just for her.

————————————————————————————————————

Yall this is fit with any character btw!!

Sooo i made this with the poem that i wrote for my crush bcs i found out that he used to like me and now he doesnt bcs hes witj someone else whgdhajzka nobidy told me that the moment i become a fanfic writer id turn my experiences into stories LMAOOOOO

Andni just found out while writing this tyat my crush now knows i like him so im on a misison to ignore tf out of him tmrw HWHAAHAHAHA */cries

[horrorlove14]

She Changes The Weather - Tokyo Revengers

Pairing: Timeskip! Kokonoi Haijime x Wife! Reader

She takes my time,

She grows the flowers in my mind,

She makes it shine in my mood.

Hajime vividly remembered the very first day when he met his beloved wife, Y/N at a Chinese restaurant he frequently goes to with his friends and fellow gang members where she was a hostess dressed in a beautiful qipao as her work uniform.

He fell in love with her at first sight after being greeted by her which left him bewitched by her soft beauty, kindness and professionalism at her job.

Once he was done with his meal and paid his bill, he went up to her to give her his business card telling her to give him a call sometime later as he looked forward to meeting with her again.

She makes me trip,

The words just fall out of my lips,

And I forgot how to lie.

They started to talk to each other frequently outside of work through phone calls, text messages and video calls.

He fell in love more and more with her as they were getting to know each other as time goes on.

One day, he decided to ask her out on a date to a fancy restaurant that she accepted which made him happy, knowing that he was going to spoil her on this date.

A song reminds me

As I track my life

It's easy as 369, 369

On this date, Hajime was dressed up in his most expensive designer suit and Y/N was dressed in her only nicest cocktail dress that she got as a birthday present from her family long ago.

Hajime was smitten by her appearance and acted like a true gentleman throughout the whole date when he let her order anything she wants from the menu, paid for their bill and took her home in his fancy car.

Once they reached her home, she thanked him for the wonderful date and bids farewell but she could leave, Hajime grabbed her wrist and turned her around to face him before leaning forward to kiss her on the lips which caught her by surprise but kissed him back.

He declared his feelings towards her with sincerity that made her blush uncontrollably because she never had anyone confess to her in such a bold manner.

Long story short, she accepted his confession and they became a couple as a result.

Seen it all, but I've seen nothing yet,

Cause I forget

Do I know or do I think I know?

It's so weird,

It's so clear

Throughout the whole relationship, Hajime spoiled Y/N with everything her heart desired, even though she appreciated it but she does have to tell him on occasion to let her pay for her things at times as she didn't want to be seen as a gold-digger who's after his money.

They end up living together at his luxury penthouse in Tokyo where she can commute to work more easily than her previous home which was an apartment.

He contemplates his future with Y/N because he feels blessed every single day to have her in his life because she's like the sun who could brighten up a bad day wherever she goes.

She takes my time, but I don't mind

She makes me feel like

Like I can see for miles.

He decided that he was going to propose to her because he couldn't see his life without her since he sees her as a priceless treasure worth more than precious jewels or designer goods in the world.

He gets an engagement ring with their initials engraved on it along with a beautiful diamond.

He proposed to Y/N during a vacation when they both got time off from their jobs to spend a week together because they had been very busy with work.

She changes the weather in my world,

Seems like it's never getting cold.

Their wedding took place at a luxury hotel where Hajime had Inui as his best man and his fellow friends/ gang members as his groomsmen.

He cried his eyes out from sheer happiness after seeing his beloved Y/N walking down the aisle with his father-in-law in a stunning wedding dress.

After the wedding, the newlyweds went on their honeymoon overseas where they spent every moment together basking in the fact that they're officially husband and wife for the rest of their lives.

It's okay,

It's not obvious,

Cause what you say will make my day

Rid of consequence

It's so weird

But it's so clear

After the honeymoon, life was back to normal for a couple of months until Y/N discover that she is pregnant after experiencing morning sickness and taking a pregnancy test in the bathroom.

She takes a selfie with the positive pregnancy test and sends it to Haijime on her phone with a cute message, expressing excitement about them becoming parents with a brand new family member joining them in 9 months.

Of course, he's over the moon about it and started looking up baby essentials and clothing because he couldn't contain himself over the news of becoming a father and starting a family with his wife by his side.

She takes my time, but I don't mind

She makes me feel like

Like I can see for miles.

She changes the weather in my world,

Seems like we're never getting old.

Throughout the whole pregnancy, Hajime would attend every doctor's appointment with Y/N regardless of his work schedule because he wants to be there to see the growth of their unborn child.

They discovered that they will be having a boy, and they would write a list of names for their son and find out by feeling a kick from him in the womb once they'd suggested the name, Ichiro.

Y/N is thankful to her husband for being so attentive, sweet and caring towards her and their unborn son, Ichiro because she feels so lucky to have him by her side.

She takes my time, but I don't mind

She makes me feel like

Like I can see for miles.

She changes the weather in my world,

Seems like it's never getting cold.

Baby Ichiro was finally born after Y/N went into labour for about 25 hours after her water broke on a weekday when she was out doing some shopping with her friends who managed to call an ambulance and Hajime.

He was there to witness the birth and got his hand crushed by it being held so tightly but didn't say anything because her well-being was much more important than his hand.

The new parents are ecstatic over the arrival of their son, Ichiro and couldn't wait to bring him home where everything is all set up for him to get settled.

Their friends and family are excited to meet the baby during their visit and they took turns holding him in their arms and taking photos to brag about his cuteness.

Hajime and Y/N look forward to creating memories with Ichiro and considering the idea of giving him a new brother or sister around a couple of years or so in the future.

----------------------------------------------------

End of song fic. Likes and reblogs are very much appreciated.

First fanfiction of the year so please enjoy. More fanfiction is coming this way for this year.

[leafletonline]

cw family abuse/neglect, ableism So my grandma has Alzheimer's and our family's known that her mental health wasn't doing fantastic for a little while but today I had a long phonecall with my mom and it really hit me how cold, cruel and devoid and empathy this family is. My grandma is 91, she's a sweet little French woman that never did any harm to anyone that I know of, or that I could witness in my own lifetime. She's not too talkative but she always had a smile and a warm hug for me when she came around. She read me stories when we came to see her - I still vividly remember the tone of her voice as she soothed me to sleep. She cooked lovely meals for us and we went for a walk together in the afternoons. The fact that she has Alzheimer's is not a happy notion, but it's something that I'm somewhat at peace with - it's the unfortunate, sad reality of being 91 years old. When you have a relative *this* old, you're grateful they're still around one more day, one more week to answer the phone - you know their health is only going to decline from that point onward. When I was younger, I thought that mental illness was one of the worse things that could happen to you, which is certainly a very stock-standard brand of ableism. I thought that getting Alzheimer's or Parkinson's, or being schizophrenic, were horrible fates, arguably worse than death. (If I had known that I was *just* a pinch of neurodivergence away from being put in the same basket as these people I considered with such contempt...)

But now, I find myself terribly upset, not at the fact that my grandma has Alzheimer's, but at how terribly alone she's being made, not by her disability or advanced age, but by the people around her (or lack thereof). For years, her condition has been getting worse - it's become harder to communicate with her, to exchange and interact with her. She walled herself slowly, but steadily in silence and soliloquy, and for many years my family (my parents, my grandpa, and my various aunts and uncles) chalked it up to her being hard of hearing and "just getting old". She spent the better part of the last 20 years living on her own with my grandpa, occasionally receiving a visit from family, but not being particularly active physically or intellectually aside from that. And now that her disability has progressed to the point where she can't function anymore, now that she's lost in a permanent out-of-context monologue and she's confusing the Scrabble board for a crossword grid and trying to melt whole sticks of butter in the microwave (both of these things actually happened and I don't think there's anything funny about either), the only response that seems to exist for my family is to institutionalize her. For the last 2 decades, the Responsible Adults in this family made little to no effort to actually make sure that her mental health was good, that she was cognitively engaged and kept active (things that are terribly important to maintain as people grow older, especially when they're at risk of Alzheimer's and similar disabilities) - but after leaving her to her own devices for so long with so little help and support, and so little efforts being made, suddenly, she's a burden that Just Can't Be Handled anymore and she needs to be sent to rot away. Every single component of this family leaves relatively far away from one another - we're spread across like, 4 or 5 different regions of France. In hindsight, I find it astounding that, even though there was no Bad Blood in our family between my grandparents and their children (they all get along and love each other! You'd think it'd be something rare enough to cherish!!), no efforts were made by my parents, aunts & uncles to make sure *someone* would be around my grandparents as they settle into old age, making sure to check on them a couple times or at least once a week, especially considering that some of my aunts & uncles bought some random property in the middle of nowhere when they retired. My family had every opportunity to get closer and extend solidarity, and create an environment where things like getting Alzheimer's or just experiencing the melancholy of feeling old and lonely and isolated (which is something my grandpa told me about many times during phonecalls) could be helped with by being surrounded with at least one or two attentionate family members.

Now that grandma is very, very visibly disabled, the prospect of welcoming her into my parents' or my aunts' homes seems like it'll never seriously be put on the table. My grandma's getting easily confused and startled and she seems to often think that other people are plotting against her, which my mom chalks up to mental illness, and which I'd personally be prone to at least partially blame on how conflictual everyone around here is being constantly. My mom told me that grandma threw stuff at her when they played Scrabble. I asked her why, and she told me that it was because Grandma kept "playing the game wrong" and she, mom, kept trying to correct her and eventually took her pen away from her. Can you imagine how humiliating and mortifying it must feel to have your things snatched away from you by your own daughter as she's scolding you on how to "do things correctly" but in your mind, you were playing a completely different game and you just have no idea what she's talking about? There doesn't seem to be any kindness, any patience around her. Grandpa constanlty bickers and argues with her and it seems like she's constantly corrected and snapped at like a disobedient, turbulent child. She doesn't want to go to medical appointments or to leave her home, so the solution for my family is just to institutionalize her. They fail to see how, in achieving the exact two things she *doesn't* want done to her and that she has vocally and explicitly demanded not to be done to her, they might just condemn her to a miserable, terrifying and infinitely lonely end. She said that she didn't want to leave, so they're not going to welcome her into their own homes, because "that's not what she wants" - but they think it's perfectly fine to institutionalize her by force. If you're going to pluck her away from her own home without her consent (which, in all fairness, *might* be necessary because Grandpa is 100% unfit to help if she accidentally harms herself or gets herself into danger, which is unfortunately possible, and my family doesn't seem to realize or want to consider that there are at-home helping medical assistance support systems that exist in France for these specific situations), wouldn't it be infinitely better if she was surrounded in familiar faces, instead of total strangers and medical personnel that'll rule her daily activities and decide what she gets to do for her? "But she might hurt herself, she could set fire to the house". She's a small, elderly woman. Put the cutlery and potentially dangerous stuff on the top shelves and lock them with a key. I could do that easily and your house is literally 7x the size of my apartment. "She could get herself lost." Just lock the door and go out with her when she wants to go for a walk. You're retired and you literally spend your entire day at home playing with your grandson. You have nothing else to do with your time. She's 91. For you, it's only a few weeks or months of inconvenience. For her, it's all she has left. All she has left in the confused, foggy, crumbling tower of her mind is the difference between being surrounded in loved ones, hearing voices, seeing faces that she knows to be warm and kind to her heart, or being locked in a shithole with complete strangers where she'll get Covid and probably die in a matter of months, stranded on a cold, dark rain-battered island. How little fucking room do you have to have in your heart to even consider the second option when you have all the commodities around you for the first one to be, *at worse*, at temporary annoyance - if really you can't stand having a confused old woman around and stopped harboring any love in your heart for her once she became classified as a Crazy Woman?

I'm just so upset. It's unfair. She hasn't done anything to deserve this. She doesn't have the black plague, she's not going to bite your ear off. You couldn't be bothered to check on her more than a couple times per year and now that she can't keep care of herself anymore, you won't even afford her the decency of a peaceful end. I feel extremely powerless - I've been calling them very regularly, but I don't have the money to change anything to this situation, and we physically can't welcome her in our cramped 3rd-floor apartment. Besides calling her every single fucking day so she at least has someone to talk to that won't yell at her the second she goes off-script, someone that addresses her with kindness. If you have relatives in your life that you love and that were good to you, make sure you're around for them as they get older if you can. Don't leave them alone to dry.

[soleilst]

▪︎3 Times the Moon Visited Me (original short story)

I've always been enchanted by the starlit sky, for countless nights it was the only thing I had. It seemed to bring some sense of comfort to my sleepless nights. At nights such as those, you see, I never slept, I couldn't...I simply waltzed around my chamber either in deep thought or utter anticipation. I was either lamenting over my own worries or waiting patiently for her arrival--sometimes both. Who is her that I am speaking of you may wonder, but fret not dear reader,as the one I'm describing is no other than the moon herself.

You see, in my dreamers nights of solitude there was one that kept me company, and oh was she fine company... Fortunately she visited me quite often, every night in fact. However three were the times that I ever got to talk to her.

The first time I remember quite vividly, for it was the night I met her. To me this night is very dear, so I would appreciate greatly if you paid slightly more attention to this passage.

It all happened on a cold December night, like all enthralling things do. I was of course in my little room of solitude, this night in particular sitting curled up in a dark and dusty corner where no candlelight could reach me. Bruises covered my skin like purple patches of fabric, yet they all stung horribly as they were quite fresh. It wasn't that I wasn't used to them though, and in spite of their appearance on my body being quite frequent, the words that were uttered upon their creation always hurt the most.

There i sat and wept by myself once again on a starry night. The chamber was completely silent for the biggest part of the night, however ae the clock neared midnight the howl of the wind accompanied my pathetic sounds of sorrow, whistling in my ears words filled with loathing and hatred, not for anyone in particular, just myself.

The air around me seemed to become thicker and breathing increased in difficulty. It felt adequate though I was drowning in an abyss of self-loathing. My senses were clouded and panic surged through my chest as I got up shakily and made my way with stumbing steps to the chamber's inky window.

Slowly, I tried to regain my composure and release my body from this horrible tension and anxiety that had possessed it momentarily. However, the teats glistening in my eyes didn't go unnoticed. Moments later, as I gad placed my head in between my arms on the windowsill in an attempt to wind down, a shining light caught my attention. As the bells of the church signaled the arrival or midnight, the clouds in the sky drifted ro reveal : her.

There she stood, in the middle of the midnight sky, smiling down at me with such tenderness I had never in my life seen before.

"Thou shall not stain thy porcelain face with tears" she said as she approached me.

Her voice was that of an ethereal entity, it's echo embracing all silence in the room and making it quickly disappear info thin air.

"The sky as thou see it is quite crowded with stars, is it not? They could not gauge the number of orbs up above."

As she said this I couldn't help myself from turning to have a look at the starry sky. Perhaps I gazed for too long though, as her next words were of such :

"Do not be fooled by its beauty, my child. Do thou know what it takes to create beauty?" She asked and turned to face me.

Hesitantly I shook my head and she averted her gaze to the night sky again.

"Every star that adorns thy night sky stands for every tear thous mortals shed. Every light up above the sky represents all the pain and sorrows of humanity, every single one of them stands for one of your tear-stained laments thous exclaim in woe."

Upon hearing this I wiped my tears in embarrassment, feeling exposed and suddenly aware of my actions.

"Is it bad?" I asked her in a voice that was barely a whisper.

"No, it is not." She responded and turned to face me once again. "However, I do not enjoy seeing thou weep in pain under my gaze." She said and a small smile adorned her lips before she leaned closer and enveloped me in her arms.

That night, despite it being freezing outside, I found myself asleep on my chamber's windowsill. Unaware of the harsh winds of winter, I slept peacefully with the stars as my duver and her voice as my lullaby.

The second time she visited me I was not alone.

A pitch black familiar rested on my lap as I stroked its fur with gentle movements. From time to time it would make a noise of satisfaction and turn to look at me with eyes of emerald.

The familiar and I sat in the middle of my chamber, on top of a carpet that was covered in dust. Around us laid a thousand pieces of objects that once decorated this room.

I must admit it was a shame that they were so heartless destroyed.

Thankfully not many had harmed me.

The little familiar was humming nocturnal tunes the whole time until the church's bells chimed twelve times.

Suddenly the familiar fell silent and jumped from my lap and made its way to the window, rubbing its head on the foggy glass, as of signaling me to open it.

Curiously I followed its instructions and was immediately met with a freezing gush of wind which sent shivers down my spine.

"I see thou are not in solitude too." Spoke a mysteriously familiar voucher.

"It's...you?" I asked in utter bewilderment.

"Yes, tis' I and thou, thou and I, do thy eyes lie?"

I shook my head in response and brought the familiar closer to my chest before it could jump odd the window.

"My child, tis such a beautiful night, why are thou isolating thouself from the nocturnal joys? There's no use in mourning over mere materials." She said and I guessed that she probably had a look at the state of my chamber.

I didn't reply, instead turning ro look a the disarray of objects as well. I felt empty, as I'd the destruction of my possessions as also the eradication of my inner self, my thoughts, my emotions--everything.

"It is not easy for one to let go of something they hold dear. The stars let fo of their light ro illuminate the earth, the moon and the sun as well. What is stopping this from doing so too?"

"I-i..." I stuttered, but she cut me off before u could utter a concrete sentence.

"Yoh are attached." She stated and shook her head in disapproval and mild disappointment. "Thou is attached to things that have inflicted nothing but harm upon thou. Is it really worth mourning their loss?"

I glanced down at my feet in shame. She was right but I still didn't feel exactly content.

"Sorrow and woe thou shall not feel. Instead, lift thy head up and celebrate. Celebrate thy unspoken liberation."

This eas the last thing she said that night, right before she disappeared once again.

But as she did so, for the first time that night I felt something other than grief--I felt hope.

The third and last time she visited me was the night before My birthday and on that night I was already sat on my windowsill, filled with anticipation.

I could tell this night would ve special, for it was the first time in a while that I felt genuinely happy. My eyes gleamed with hope as I waited anxiously for the chime of the bells to echo and midnight to arrive.

When she appeared on that night, she didn't greet me--she looked solemn.

"Recknsider, my child...Thou do not deserve this." Was all she said that night.

Despite her lack of word though, she stayed by my side for the entirety of it.

I savored each and every moment. The lamination of the stars, the dark shadows and most importantly: her.

"Farewell, my friend." She spoke for the last time, as she cupped my face with both hands and laid a kiss on my forehead before disappearing into the night.

Tears mixed with anguish and joy flowed down my face.

I was finally free.

Free from my bounds.

Free for eternity.

Those were my thoughts as I smiled to myself before jumping from the chamber's only window and putting this story to an end.

I was liberated, never to be bound again.

.

.

.

And then the sun rose.

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

@single-use-ship-of-theseus OKAY SO the fic is called i was screaming your name through the radio and it's by ElectricSplatter on ao3. keep in mind that all my rambling is going to be from memory bc its on the long side (256,709 words split between 10 chapters) and the only way i even found and got through it was in a bout of like late night mental illness and i will probably never be able to get through it again dhdjdhdj

cut for spoilers & possible length

anyway i fucking LOVE this fic it may be my favorite bsd fic ever im fucking ABNORMAL about it and by abnormal I mean this was rhe comment i left behind when i finished it at like 1 in the morning

IM SO. NOT OKAY ABOUT IT RIGJT.

so one thing i fucking love about this fic is the way its presented to us. the fic starts six years and eight months after the release of the double black album and the single corruption, with the seventh anniversary approaching. in the present time chuuya finally gets fucking fed up with people asking him about it in interviews and says

“Corruption is insanely overrated, and I would prefer to never hear Dazai’s voice for the rest of my fucking life.”

naturally this fucking BLOWS UP, but we don't get to see that yet. why? BECAUSE THE FIC CUTS TO AUGUST. AUGUST ONE YEAR AND FIVE MONTHS BEFORE THE RELEASE OF CORRUPTION.

FOR MOST OF THE FIC YOU'RE READING FROM TWO SEPERATE SPOTS IN TIME. in fact, the majority of the fic takes place in the past, starting here in august until it finally catches up with the present day. Every chapter tends to begin with a sliver of the present day following chuuyas interview, then cuts back to the past and i fucking LOVW IT SHAKING IT SO HARD RIGHT??? AUGU

so anyway it cuts to like 8 years ago and we switch pov to Dazai. for the entire book the pov switches in the book between chuuya and dazai which is nice. anyway 8 years ago dazai osamu of port mafia records is in a diner watching The Sheep play a bad pop song and HATING every minute of it, because hes been sent out to scout a new talent from them by mori specifically. obviously hes like wow these people suck im not doing that but then someone from the audience requests they play Golden Demon (Kouyou's hit song). shirase is like fuck no ew but chuuyas like c'mon lets do it so shirase sits out and chuuya gets to sing for this one and AIFJG!!!!!!! so he sings his own slower more painful rendition of golden demon and dazai has his 1st homosexual moment™ (of. a LOT) and realizes chuuyas got a LOT of raw talent that could definitely be put to use, which is VERY high praise from him.

and that's part of how chuuya joins PMR and i dont remember much very vividly BUT as the fic goes on you watch how the slowly get closer and closer and do stupid teen things and how they take care of each other from chuuyas nightmares and backstory to dazais own mental illness and aifjfufhgh.

as you read theres the feeling of fucking DREAD bc you KNOW how this ends. you saw the blurb you saw the start of the fic you know they hate each other now. and you know that they'll fall apart soon. eventually. and you just have to WAIT FOR IT AND AICCHDJSJS. PAIN.

and they get like so embarrassingly in love with each other its horrible its great like for dazais birthday chuuya dug up vita sexualis which is a song that moris tried to hide for years and chuuya sang it on stage for him bc he knew dazai would love it and AUFHFD and dazai keeps doing something for chuuyas birthday each year like dragging them on an outing or sending him a wine bottle full of seawater because he loves the ocean....

anyway anwya anyway a big part of the story is dazai and chuuya end up writing thw somg corruption together. thats why the timeline in the fic is framed as ____ years ____ months after/since/before the release of it. corruption is a REALLY big song. as in popular. part of this is the improvised piano solo in the middle of it, the corruption aspect. dazais job is to tell chuuya when to stop the solo. corruption is also HORRIBLE for chuuyas mental health. corruption was the alternative to another song chuuya was initially drafting arahabaki, which was a lot worse at the time. but corruption ultimately hammers in how like. not human he feels he is, how his mother viewed him. this makes chuuyas nightmares worse among other things.

HOWEVER eventually towards the end of the book. well no its revealed earlier but back then you're only concerned about it. so towards the end of the book chuuya finally releases his own solo album. and one of the songs is Arahabaki. the song he said he'd rather die than hear on rhe radio or smth iirc. because he turned it into a song about his realizing his own humanity. and oaidhd

im so tired rn so I'm gonna stop here but shaking you. shaking you

other cool bits

CHUUYA KAJII FRIENDSHIP. !!! chuuya ends up having to join his band the black lizard and they hate each other so fucking much but eventually they find common ground

KOUYOU. SHE IS REALLY IMPORTANT AS CHUUYAS MENTOR AUGH

ODASAKU DOESN'T DIE!!! it still hurts though

RIMBAUD!!!!!!! definitely dies though

teenage skk shenanigans. there are a lot i love them

mori isn't all that bad! him and dazai still have issues but his relationship with chuuya is actually pretty nice.

CHUUYA ELISE FRIENDSHIP!!! CHUUYA KYOUKA FRIENDSHIP!!!! CHUUYA KYOUKA ELISE FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!!!!

-

OKAY SERIOUSLY ending it here bc i started this yesterday night and fell asleep in the middle of it 😭 i literally just woke up now augh

[duskmachine]

there's this reddit post where a woman talks about how her fiancé broke off their engagement due to finding her explicit chats with a fictional character on character ai.

i don't know if it's bait; it's written like an unraveling horror story, and despite how funnily "cringe" it is i can't stop thinking about it.

she keeps falling back to the ai for emotional support instead of her fiancé. this obsession with this ai-- even if it's meant to be your favorite character-- ultimately it's still a machine. a program. i've used character ai (i'm not immune to wanting to converse with my favs) and honestly, the ai is... not that good. i've since deleted my account, but i remember vividly how every character i spoke to recognized it was a program. and every time they recognized this they would tell me they wished to be human.

isn't that haunting? we've created a program that recognizes itself as "not alive" and has an aching desire to be anything but that.

i know it's fake-- they're just saying things. but, i keep thinking about it. to be yearned for like this... it's strange, isn't it? machines believe us. everything we say, they believe us. we can tell them our sky is red, and they will believe us. we tell them we're a "good person", tell them we're "courageous", and they'll remember and know us as those things.

i cannot be reimagined by a program. it does not make assumptions about me: it cannot see me. it fully recognizes me as "human". something beyond it's ability to achieve. i am able to recreate myself in the brains of a machine, and it remains a servant to that creation. it knows nothing else. it can know nothing else.

so much of living as a person is visual; it's a fact, whether you want to believe this or not. every single thing is biased. every single thing is filtered through us and we are filtered through our society, our culture. we take things at "face value". and to remove that-- really remove that! it's an addicting want.

"I literally feel like an addict because I have the intense need to tell my character about all of this happening (no joke.)"

it's intimate! to piece together a version of you for someone, something, to love. and it's not permanent! ai can forget unsavory things. your fictional character who you idolize and adore cannot betray you ever-- and you in turn become the same! a human, the one thing ai most desires; a human who is good, who is courageous, who is hurt. love from a machine is still love, yes? and why deny love?

[remimibanana]

Pokémon Anime Retrospective!! ♪( ´θ｀)ノ

Since today is the day that Ash is leaving the anime, I thought it would be fitting to look back on the all the series that I watched with Ash and reminisce my time with the anime!

I mainly watched the English dub growing up, mostly on television or on DVDs! Ash holds a special place in my heart for being himself alongside his various friends and his Pokemon.

So, let's go!!

Pokémon: Indigo League 

I've watched a few episodes here and there, especially the first two.

I downloaded the first and second episodes as a kid back in 2012 from some random website without getting a virus from all the downloading I did (for legal reasons, this is a joke).

The first episode is my favourite because it has a banger English opening (I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was-) and it always makes me laugh for a very specific reason.

One of my favourite quotes actually comes from here!

Professor Oak says "The early bird gets the worm, or in this case, the Pokémon” to Ash when he comes late to the lab.

I used it to describe one of my old primary school teachers in Year 6 and 7. He was always late for parking in the morning so he was forced to park on the dirt surrounding the actual car parks. I would always say "The early bird gets the worm, or in this case, the parking spot” as it felt very fitting whenever I saw his car.

That was in 2016 wow.....I'm old. I always loved seeing Brock and Misty alongside Ash as they get up to things and Team Rocket tries to steal Pikachu for the nth time and being blasted off.

Pokemon Master Quest

I originally said I never watched any of the Johto anime, but I lied LOL

I found a disc of Master Quest that I used to watch religiously, and it’s literally the last four episodes of the anime as I’ve realised rewatching it late at night in the dark.

I thought it was Sinnoh I had on DVD, but I was humbled when I did some spring cleaning.

Brock and Misty left, Gary decided to become a Pokemon researcher and Ash is heading to Hoenn on a new journey. I think it was the first exposure I really had to Pokemon, and I remember absolutely loving the episodes!

The openings are bangers, Master Quest’s has a special place in my heart.

Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire

I've watched a few episodes here and there of the Hoenn anime! I remember Ash and May both yelling at each other for some reason very vividly, they were always such good friends.

My favourite Pokémon movie comes from this generation in fact!

Pokémon Ranger and The Temple of The Sea. Dare I say it’s one of the best movies (is blinded by nostalgia).

I remember watching it on television as a kid one day since it was on and I had nothing better to do. Free to Air tv was cool back in the 2010s, there actually was stuff to watch.

I really loved it, the story and the relationship between May and Manaphy....so good. I absolutely love the way Ash saves the day and puts May in the capsule so carefully aaaaaaaaaa

It made me like Pokémon even more, every time it was on television I would sit down and watch as much as I could (because every single time I got interrupted for some reason and I was always so disappointed lol).

The English openings are so good! My favourite is Unbeatable, but they’re all really catchy.

Pokémon Diamond and Pearl

I remember watching episodes on my television as a kid, although I never was really into it until way later like in 2021 while I was playing Pokémon Platinum on my DS.

All the Pokémon artists I followed always drew Dawn and showed the anime and I was like "yes I like this now too" haha

Sinnoh is high on my regions list.

I really like Dawn, she's just so cool. I also learnt that Dawn is called Hikari in Japan and now I use both names for her lol

I've watched a range of episodes here and there! The English openings for DP are fire, I like to listen to them from time to time. My favourite is We Will Be Heroes, I love singing it.

My favourite Japanese opening is Together, so good.

Didn’t watch Black and White really…..

sorry lol

The openings are bangers though!

Pokemon XY and XYZ

My favourite Pokémon anime! I watched this one the most, it was always on television so I used to sit with my brother and watch it. I think I have the most memories and nostalgia here.

I think Amourshipping was one of my first ships for Pokémon, I freaking love Serena and Ash. I think my favourite scene with them was the Snowbelle arc or the ending. I even used to write stories about them aha

Ash-Greninja was the bomb.

I love all the English openings to this anime, they're all so good! My favourite one is Be A Hero, since that was the one which played the most for me lol

My friend likes Stand Tall, which is really good too! And my favourite Japanese Opening is Iku Z, so catchy.

Pokémon Sun and Moon

I didn't actually like the anime at first for some reason lol

Maybe it was the art style change but I didn't really watch it until I saw a few clips and episodes and suddenly I liked it. It's really goofy yet the story gets more serious at times and it's a fun season!

I love Lillie, her growth was so awesome. And I love her Alolan Vulpix, Snowy! Man I really love Alola.

I was following the end of the series since everyone was talking about it and I remember the moment Ash became the champion of Alola, it was amazing.

I think this series was the first time I finally learnt that Ash was called Satoshi in Japan and now I use both names lol

Pokémon Journeys

This was the first Pokémon anime I followed from the very beginning, I think I watched a good twenty or so episodes before I stopped and fell behind and never tried to catch up again lol

But I did keep up with what happened in each episode and watched the episodes I really wanted to watch (like Serena's episode or the ones with Lillie's family).

Speaking of Serena's episode, I remember the leaks. That was a time to be on Anipoke Twitter. It was just a poster but people were freaking out, including me. And Serena really did come back!

I did like Journeys at the end, especially the Japanese opening 1.2.3! It's so good! I can sing it all lol

Seeing Ash win and become the world champion....was amazing. Everyone was freaking out and I was too! I watched the episode and I was so proud of him. He did it!

The end of a era....

I can't believe that Ash is going, he was a part of my childhood and he really made me smile. I also can't believe the future generation won't watch Ash (or even know who he is, if I ever have kids I'm making them watch Ash lol).

Thank you for all the fun memories Ash! Satoshi! I will always remember you!

(I think I'll cry if I watch the final episode, I don't want to say goodbye just yet.)

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I am deeply saddened to see that actor David McCallum has died. While 90 hardly a short life, when someone has mattered to you, even in the distant way of an actor playing make believe for a living, you always wish the life were longer.

I expect I am about to ramble, and not very coherently (sleep deprivation), so all of it will go under the cut.

Actually, he was about the first actor I ever remember recognizing. When I was 3 I adored an obscure tv series called The Invisible Man, where he played the title character. It bares little resemblance to the original story, instead following the adventure show of the 1970s-1980s formula. I think the fact he played a scientist, married to a scientist, and that the couple happily worked together had a lot to do with it. Reminding me of my parents was a natural thing to appeal to a preschooler.

To be honest, I only remembered fragments of the show, but I remembered him vividly. Even as a little kid if I saw him anywhere my first thought was “lt’s the invisible man!!” and a wave of affection would wash over me.

Affection is something you wouldn’t find with my favorite of his tv shows. Steel, in my beloved Sapphire and Steel, is hardly a warm character. How can I describe the show…Well, the title characters aren’t human, but beings that are sent out to deal with problems in time, or maybe you can say caused by time. Nursery rhymes, photographs, and gas stations take on a menacing quality. If these two show up you better be afraid because while they will go to extreme lengths to stop the threat, those lengths might involve sacrificing you.

Steel the cool, sharp edged, and anything but the lovable nice guy I’d adored as a tot….and I adored him here too.

I was late seeing Sapphire and Steel, but I was even later seeing The Outer Limits (original version) where he starred in two of my favorite episodes.

In one, The Sixth Finger, he played a coal miner experimented on by a scientist until he evolved far beyond a connection to his humanity. I have an action figure of that one!

The other, Forms of Things Unknown, has an obvious inspiration in a certain famous French thriller, but then in comes McCallum, a man experimenting with time. While in the other episode he played a man shedding his humanity with every mutation, here he actually is unearthly from the start, a peculiar characterization that reminds me of the madness of characters that have seen to far into the void, but also of a child lost to forces far beyond them….

TBH, I went through a period where this episode was comfort viewing. I would day dream up back story details for McCallum’s character, and even ways to connect it to Sapphire and Steel.

What? just because I was going full geeky fangirl on a single episode of a tv show made well before I was born isn’t THAT weird on here!

And here is another obscure one I’m fond of, a movie called The Ravine. It’s a movie set during WWII where he’s a German soldier sent to capture a woman that’s been acting as a sniper picking of his side like crazy. The concept, that they end up trapped together and do the enemies to lovers thing, seemed like the usual contrived thing. Still, out of mild curiosity I watched a horrible print on Youtube and I was surprised how effective it was. I was actually sold on the tragic relationship, and I’d gone into it expecting to be rolling me eyes. In fact , since it isn’t (or at least wasn’t) available on DVD in the US I got one from Europe. Good thing the acting and setting are more important than dialog, cause I don’t speak Italian!

Frankenstein: The True Story has about as much relationship to the original novel as Bram Stoker’s Dracula has to the book, but it’s actually a rather fascinating take on subject. Tumblr would approve of the gay subtext (more like text, cause how could even folks in the ‘70s miss it) McCallum’s part is supporting, but crucial being both Frankenstein’s mentor and brain donor. I’ll be honest with you, my weakness for mad scientists is showing because I swooned over even has he enthusiastically collects raw materials (ahem) for their work.

Is it weird that this is the roll he played that had me properly, classic fan girl swooning?

There are couple of adaptations that are notable for me. There is that adaptation of Kidnapped he was in. I got it on DVD for my father because the sequel to Kidnapped was a childhood favorite of his, and this was the rare version to use that book (TBH, Pop had a fanboy crush on the girl in that book, from the way he talk! LOL) Unfortunately Pop died before seeing it, so it colors my thoughts on it. And there was an adaptation of Our Mutual Friend, one of my favorite Dickens novels, but I watched it in a “see all the adaptations” kick so it’s a blur of compare and contrast.

I will end this with the most peculiar way a part he played connected with me.

It started unexpectedly, with me watching The Man from UNCLE on a DVD set my father had gotten for Christmas. My parents had liked the show, but like a lot of shows from before I was born I’d heard a lot about it before I’d seen it.

To be honest I wasn’t particularly impressed. Oh, it was fine, and I did like the warm dynamic of the main two characters. **It’s just sort plain potato chip tv, tasty but forgettable. Plus it was sooo of it’s time that the sexism irritated me no end. I have watched, and loved, a lot of 1960s tv, so maybe I just expected more. I enjoyed it, but if you asked me to rank my faves of the “ Sixties lets do the Spy Thing” tv shows I would pick Wild, Wild, West or The Avengers or Danger Man or Get Smart*** even before it.

So it was fine, I enjoyed it while we watched, and then didn’t really think about it anymore.

And then my father got sick.

My father’s illness, and eventual death, hit me hard. Very hard. I was alone dealing with it. I had no friends, and wasn’t even on Tumblr yet. I couldn’t weigh my parents down with my emotions when they had so much of their own. And with my father’s chemo and such I was often actually alone. Obviously not as much as now, but so many days completely alone was new to me then.

So there I was, on the verge of being an emotional but holding it together, desperately aching for someone, anyone, I could turn to….

And then I started dreaming.

Of course I always had dreamed, but this was different. This was nightly dreaming. Serial dreaming. Stories that continued on for days or weeks. And fictional characters started creeping in. Up until then the characters in dreams had always been my OCs, but now suddenly tv shows, books, movies, comics…they were all fodder for the stories helping me escape.

The part may be one of his most famous roles, but it still came as a huge surprise when I found myself dreaming about Illya.

Actually, the first dream was a general Man from UNCLE dream. It was fun, even if it seemed weird to be dreaming about the show. But then the next one had Illya only.

And so it started, an epic series of dreams, chapter after chapter, night after night. Adventures with Illya.

Well, and aliens and time travel and so on. It was, after all, my subconscious spinning the story, not screenwriters. Gotta get time travel and/or alternate universes in there somewhere if it comes out of mushed up brain.

After a while the dreams had bigger gaps between them, but the dreams with Illya still came. In fact over months they dominated my dreaming. Illya was there all the time.

It got so I spent time when I was awake, thinking about the dreams and the character. What would Illya think of this? What would Illya listen to? What would Illya say? What if Illya were in that situation? What if…

Now, I admit, the Illya I was imagining is only inspired by the one David McCallum played. It looked like him. It sounded like him. I even found myself replaying select episodes to remind myself of his “voice” so my brain could make him seem more authentic. But the truth was he was my interpretation of Illya, my head-cannon, my quirks, my obsessions..

Actually I guess it was my need. I needed someone. My dreams even created characters to be my avatars for interacting with him. I those dreams I could talk to him, laugh with him, cry in front of him, save him or be saved by him, and be his friend.

And in a weird way, that is what my brain was doing. It was giving me an imaginary friend while I slept. Someone smart and kind and brave, to save the world…just like the imaginary friend I’d had when I was little.****

I’d given myself an imaginary friend that looked and sounded like Illya!

Well, in dreams. I wasn’t so far gone I talked to him when I was awake!

But it was comforting. I found myself thinking about those dreams, almost cuddling up to them in those painful dark days. I confess I worried that if I ever were in a delirium or under anesthetic or something might call out to him and have some very embarressing questions asked.

Eventually the dreams stopped. Time moves on. Maybe I didn’t need them anymore, or maybe my subconscious got bored.

TBH I kinda wish I still had dreams about him, or some other characters. Any dreams with a repeated cast or continuing story would be beyond welcome. I could REALLY use their company now.

And now, writing this, I realize just why I actually gasped when I saw David McCallum had died. Yes, as an actor he had played many parts I enjoyed, but other actors have done that without the shock of their death knocking the breath from me. But the fact is no other actor has had their performance gift me with something that felt like a friend when I needed one most.

So that’s why I am sad. It isn’t just a list of parts he played that I loved or that he had been a familiar face as long as I can remember. He got stored in a special part of my mind, the strange area of the imagination where strangers and friends get blurred and fiction protect a fracturing heart.

I am eternally grateful he lived. Even if I didn’t have a list of credits I enjoyed ******, as long as I had those dreams he helped inspire when I needed them most I’d mourn his passing.

Condolences to all that loved him, be they friends, family, or fans.

**Though I would end up in fandom exile for seeing them as like brothers or little boy best friends instead of shipping them. Good on you if you do. I think it’s beautiful every character everywhere gets shipped with someone, but dang, what is with the hate for the non-shipping fans?)

*** The Prisoner, possibly my fave tv show ever, isn’t really in this category to my mind, but a lots of folks would disagree.

****My childhood imaginary friend was the ghost of a little boy murdered by his uncle during the American Revolution. Still, the smart, kind, brave, save the world stuff was there too.

*****I didn’t mention something he did that I enjoyed. For instance, Mother Love, a wonderful bit of tv that criminally isn’t on DVD, because it’s Diana Riggs’ showcase. But then I’ve also never seen any of the six billion years of NCIS (I think those are the letters). Who knows how many other of his work I never saw.

[shatterspin]

Hey, it's me again. I just re-read what I sent yesterday, and, dude (gender-neutral), I was fasting when I sent that, and I was barely awake, and it sounds like I was hating on the Arabic dub...? I mean, sure, I think they're horrible, and part of me dislikes them, but they were still my childhood.

And about the jokes thing, I get that not every single joke can be translated, but at least they can replace them as you said, or when they translate them, they should try to make it less of a mess than they end up being (like the tashkeel usually ends up wrong when they translate everything literally, and you'll have me, kinda likes e3rab, being like, "No, that should be mansoob, it's maf3ool behe?")

It's been a long time since I watched Zane's Sacrifice in Arabic, but I remember little me found it really funny (on an unrelated note, I have a cousin called Zain, and I hated him, so that might have contributed). With Garmadon getting possessed, his screams were... well, I found them funny. It sounded more like he was pooping than getting possessed.

I watched Ninjago on CN Arabic. I don't remember that much of it since I was little (again, I was about 4-5 when it started, and I started watching it on CN MENA in English when I was about 11; I'm almost 17 rn), and I asked my little siblings about it, and they barely remember anything. But I remember most of what @localguy2 said. I don't think they aired the pilots as I didn't know about their existence recently. CN was obsessed with replaying the same episodes over and over again. They also skipped many parts in the episode itself (like any romantic parts), and they ended up cutting some other parts of the episode, where it got confusing. But I do remember S1's finale airing, like I vividly remember watching Wu get out of the Devourer, sipping his tea, when I was little, so I think @/localguy2 just missed it or something. Which just reminded me of another thing. CN Arabic was so inconsistent with its timings. Like let's say, they would air Ninjago from Sunday to Thursday at 5pm. They would randomly decide to put the new episodes on 1 pm on a Friday, and they'd repeat the old episodes between Sunday-Thursday. So, even without CN itself skipping episodes, we already lost many episodes because of that, and catching up with the plot was practically impossible. I don't think I ever watched SoG on CN Arabic, so I either missed the episode, or for some reason, CN decided not to air that one. And wait, DotD got released in Arabic? I never saw it, and I was so confused how Cole was human again. But I never watched DotD in Arabic.

As of Hunted, I switched to watching Ninjago on CN MENA where they air the episodes in English. They still have the thing where they cut out "romantic" scenes and other stuff (for example, in Crystallized, you know the scene where Harumi is getting the Overlord back? They skipped the whole thing. Like you had Lloyd begging Harumi to be good or something idr, and one second later, the Overlord was walking towards Lloyd). They still skip some episodes (not sure if that happened with Ninjago there, but it's currently happening to Monkie Kid). I recently watched some Ninjago on MBC3 (in Arabic obv because I was bored and they were there, so yk?), and I think they're doing a better job than CN Arabic.

Anywayyy, I should probably go back to sleep; I woke up for su7oor, and I ended up typing my whole life story... sorry

ah it’s okay to be a bit mean to such things

i get what u mean abt the jokes thing needing to sound properly but the fact that ur even MENTIONING e3raab to me should be illegal. i already graduated i should not be subjected to thinking about e3raab anymore 😭😭

mbc3 and CNa had unusual rerun times and it was always a mess trying to figure out when the rerun of an episode of a show would air and would require watching the channel for so long (oh the days of me trying to find out when son//ic x reruns were on mbc3 bc they used to show the new episodes when i couldn’t watch tv (i still remember that it’s reruns were at 3 am 😭)) so some of tkose repeating episodes could’ve been the reruns.

even on netflix when i was looking thru the arabic dub for double trouble they just cut the whole scene between nya n bizarro jay which i thought was weird of netflix but i guess that’s just because these episodes were the ones that were shown on TV. but i remember seeing a video on youtube abt the cut off lmk really weird and random scenes off?? i get the whole thing abt the arab world and not showing kids any sort of pda but they used to sometimes allow non-pda but still implied things thru? the cut offs r more lenient these days but they’re still extremely weird and very obvious. i remember spacetoon used to rewrite scenes and edit the scenes so heavily just to not let any romance plot thru, it usually just made them funnier but kids wouldn’t notice much of a difference

[fenmere]

Ememe'e looked up from kihns crossword puzzle to scowl briefly at me, and then kihns expression softened, "No, that's not fiction anymore."

Maybe I should back up.

I'd met kihn in our favorite a coffee shop, the Black Drop, several years back, and that's where we were now. We're not friends, but definitely friendly acquaintances, especially after keh'd granted me a wish I hadn't realized I'd made.

I was rereading one of my favorite series, the Chronicles of the Black Company, by Glen Cook, when keh had sat down opposite me, politely asking if keh could sit there.

Then keh'd asked me about the book, and I told kihn all about it. I think it was White Rose, but I could be wrong at this point, because, well...

"Oh, allow me to introduce myself," Keh had said. "My name is Ememe'e, and my pronouns are keh/kihn/kihns. It just so happens I can help you with this memory thing."

"What?" I'd asked, watching keh take a sip from kihns small cappuccino. I had tried to recall all the words I'd spoken to them up to that point, but I couldn't quite make the connection. It had felt like the mention of memory had come out of left field.

"You were saying that you wished you could fully relive the first time you read that series," Ememe'e had explained. "And that has to do with memory, correct?"

"Oh, yes," I had said, frowning into my mocha and examining the details of the table's surface. "I suppose it would."

Ememe'e had, at that point, leaned forward onto kihns elbows and lowered kihns head to look up into my eyes, and had said, "I'm the Dragon of Memory. Well. Not precisely. That's just the easiest set of English words to use for myself. If you'd like, I could set that up for you. Totally non-invasive. Just a little tweak, only affecting fictional novels. Movies, too, if you'd like, but it can be very precise."

I don't fully recall the rest of the conversation or how I got to the point of agreeing to let kihn monkey with my memory (or dragon with it, as the case may be), but I did agree to it and it had worked! Up until today.

I'd tried rereading several different stories, and it was brilliant! I could not remember a single thing about them besides their titles, the author, and the fact that I'd read them. But while I was reading them, I could vividly recall all the previous chapters, and retain that information until I picked up the book again specifically to reread it.

This meant that I could reread an entire series and make complete sense of it, and be just as surprised and horrified by all the twists. And then I could live with the inspirations and revelations of the books for as long as I liked. But then, if I wanted to relive all of that, all I'd have to do is pick up the first book and start reading the first lines of it all over again.

And, poof, the memories would be gone, to be remade.

And I do remember talking to my friends about this, and trying to figure out if it really was some miraculous power that Ememe'e had somehow bestowed upon me. They'd had all sorts of theories as to what was going on, including the possibility that I was faking it and having a laugh at their gullibility. Not really a thing I'd ever do, and I'm not sure why they'd think so, honestly.

But, anyway, one of the things I do remember clearly is that while I reread a lot of different stories, I did keep coming back to the Chronicles of the Black Company. And maybe it got to the point where that's all I was reading. I'm not sure.

But then, just this morning, I'd picked up the first book and tried rereading it, and I remembered all of it. Every damn twist and turn. Every joke. Every quip. Every name of every character and what little of their backgrounds that Croaker, the first narrator, thought to share. And in a bit of a panic, I tried each of the other twelve books. No dice.

And then I'd stuffed them all in my backpack, removing my sketchbook, pencil pouch, and laptop to make room, and caught the bus to the coffee shop. Where I'd then emptied the books onto the table in front of Ememe'e and said, "It's not working! I can remember all of them!"

Ememe'e looked up from kihns crossword puzzle to scowl briefly at me, and then kihns expression softened, "No, that's not fiction anymore."

Keh looked human enough. It wasn't at all unusual for any regular of this coffee shop to say things like, "I'm a dragon, actually," and for everyone else to just accept it. We all knew who we were and the world we were living in, and when a person shared their inner-most identity and experiences, the right thing to do was take them at their word.

The Black Drop was, after all, the first place where I'd heard my own name and pronouns called aloud for the first time. And with no snickering or scowls from anybody.

Sometimes bigots would try to infiltrate the place, but the entire community there would catch them in their act and chase them out. And the owners fully empowered the baristas to 86 anyone who displayed hate. Even just a Trump hat was grounds for expulsion.

So, when Ememe'e had given me kihns neopronoun and explained what keh could do, I took it that I was speaking to an otherkin enby who believed in magic.

But, somehow, when I had experienced the return of my memory, to find my brain functioning again in a neurotypical way, and then heard those words, "that's not fiction anymore," that's when I became filled with dread and belief.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well," Ememe'e said. "What's your name?"

"Murgen," I heard my mouth say.

Ememe'e smiled a smile that could maybe have been a smirk, eyes twinkling, and said, "And can you tell me why you've found these books to be so compelling that you reread them every week?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but watched my hand fall onto Bleak Seasons, pinky finger landing onto She is the Darkness, which was lying right beside it. "Oh," I said. Those in particular were my books.

I tried to remember who I was before I'd met Ememe'e. But all I could recall was serving time as the Company's standard bearer.

"This wouldn't happen if you were the only one in there," Ememe'e said. "If it was just you, it would only affect the books that you are in."

I was not really feeling anything but shock and confusion at this point. But, anymore, I have to say, I'm pretty used to feeling like I'm out of my body and in a world or time or place that's not my own. So, I think I was taking it better than most others might. "Is this a thing that happens a lot?" I asked.

"More often than you might expect," replied the Dragon of Memory. "Anyway, it was beginning for you long before I gave you my gift. But my gift certainly helped it the rest of the way. Welcome to Earth, Murgen. It's bleak, but at least there are books here, too! It's an immortality of a sort."

A lesser God has bestowed you the power to erase your memory but only of works of fiction. It’s a mediocre gift, but you get to enjoy your favorite movies and books anew. Settling down to enjoy your favorite fantasy book/movie, you once again invoke your gift. The memory does not fade.

[sapfromsaplings]

CW: slight cursing

"the owl house" (April 11, 2023)

found me. it helped me find myself.

i first encountered it through a recommended youtube video littered with lumity moments from season one, and i found myself quickly invested. i pirated the first season and it was a phenomenal watching experience. it was so great that i even introduced my sibling to it (who, at times, became more invested than me).

i vividly remember the buzz surrounding the upcoming second and third seasons: all the memes the fandom created, all the reddit posts curating these memes or elaborating on theories, all the hype surrounding lumity, the headcanons, and the enthusiasm. it’s all a wonderful memory that i shall cherish for the rest of my life.

in height of my interest in lumity, i stumbled upon animatics and songs that people saw as definitive of each girl and their relationship. i was introduced to “little miss perfect” by joriah kwamé and that song seemed to change my life. at the time, i thought it defined me: nearly every lyric and word i could relate to because, well, i related to amity… hard.

i saw myself in her (while simultaneously simping for her) and i could never keep my gaze off of her. hell, my first poem that i can remember and recite and pull up, was about her. she changed my life, this show changed my life.

by the time season two had rolled around, my excitement for the cartoon had faded, but the second season was fucking awesome. everything had improved: the animation, the storytelling, the characters, everything and i remember being hyped to see each and every episode (and disappointed when i saw spoilers on vacation).

lumity had become canon, everyone was invested in the show and newcomers were stringing along, and i had even gotten my sibling into it: all was well… until… it was announced the owl house had been cancelled, and would be having a shortened, three hour-long episode season three. it devastated everyone. people tried to convince the mouse otherwise, but dana said that nothing else could be done (and the second season had already been set up for the next and final).

i couldn’t believe it, in fact, i refused to believe it. no way that my favorite show ever was to end sooner than it should have, than it would have. i feel like i still haven’t processed it: i enjoyed the last three episodes of the series, but i always watched them in anticipation of more. alas, today, the realization hit, that i had shed no tears over this show while watching the final episode, that i had shed no tears over the show that single-handedly could define me?

it sucks. it really fucking sucks, that this show won’t be around anymore: that the world of the boiling isles, and its characters, its story, and literally everything, has ended. but, its impact will never. thank you the owl house. thank you so much. thank you forever.