#the fact that Dee’s confession makes him feel good like look at me receiving love that makes me feel great and important

[jemmo]

i really wanna give podd a round of applause bc he’s managed to make ter a character that i hate so specifically and immensely

[thefloorisbalaclava]

“   i’m  sorry  to  wake  you  up ,   but  i  really  need  someone  to  talk  to .   ” with javi 🥺

Y'all been making me write lots of soft/sad stuff for Javi lately but, let's face it, this man really does need someone to talk to.

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Warnings: none

[Javier masterlist]

--

Javier had been staring at his ceiling for about an hour. After everything he's done today he should be tired, he should've fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but sleep had escaped him once again.

He sat up and grabbed a cigarette off the bedside table. The first drag was a long one and he closed his eyes at the familiar taste. If this was any other night, the spot beside him would not be empty, but this night was different. He wanted to be alone.

No, he didn't. Not really. But the person he would like to be there probably never would be and the realization hit him like a truck.

You were too good, too sweet for him. In his world of liars and thieves and killers, you were a silver lining, the sun after a storm. And you were just too good.

He looked at the clock. 3 am. Surely you would be asleep, but he looked at the phone anyway. If he could just hear your voice maybe that would calm his nerves. It honestly would nice to know why he was feeling nervous in the first place.

Stress from the job.

A never-ending fear of uncertainty.

Seeing you get shot at...

"Fuck..." He mumbled before taking another drag from his cigarette. If he could just hear your voice he'd know you were okay and then maybe he could sleep. He picked up the phone and dialed your number--the only phone number he had memorized.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"Hello?" Your groggy, sleepy voice came to him through the receiver and his heart pounded in his chest. "Hello?"

"Hey...it's me," he said, inwardly groaning. How would you know who 'me' was?"

"Javi?" you asked.

He smiled. He actually smiled at the fact that you knew it was him. Yes, he understood you knew his voice quite well, but it still made him happy.

"I'm, uh, I'm sorry to wake you up, but I really need someone to talk to," he murmured.

"Everything okay?" The concern in your voice nearly overwhelmed him. When was the last time anyone actually cared about him?

Now, he could lie. He could tell you that, yes, everything was okay, but you were too good to lie to. If the concern in your tone was any indication, you were the one person who could actually help him.

"No," he confessed, "Everything is not okay." He gripped the phone tightly as he closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to spill over. "I'm not okay."

"Okay. I'm coming over." You hung up and he still held onto the receiver, hand trembling as he cried quietly. He eventually put the phone down then walked to the bathroom to wash his face--he couldn't let you see that he had been crying.

--

When you got there, without a word being spoken, you hugged him. He stumbled back from the force of it, but he hugged back.

"Thank you," he said quietly, his vision going blurry from the tears in his eyes.

"Come on." You took his hand and sat him down before sitting beside him. "You wanna talk or just-" He shook his head then laid down, resting his head in your lap. "Okay. When you're ready." For now, you just sang to him quietly while running your fingers through his hair.

The talk never happened but the sleep did. One day, he told himself, one day he would tell you everything--his deep, dark secrets--but for now sleeping on your lap would do. For now the unexpected love blooming in his heart for you would keep it beating, giving him a reason to live.

javier taglist: @allthingsnarcos @josepedropascal @snips-n-skyguy0501 @dee-rosemary @xjustmenobodyelse @no-droids-allowed @rach7 @limenlimon @windfallss @findhimfives @the-bird-suit @oldstuffnewstuff @hoodedbirdie @fakenoods @mitchi-c

permanent taglist: @gallowsjoker @bisexual-space-slut @magicsuperheroes @feelmyroarrrr @the-dazzling-urbanite @phoenixhalliwell @liveloudwriteloud @tumblogbykarapaloma @jaime1110 @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @pascalz @blancatobarxoxo @dazedrhapsody @pascalisthepunkest @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @cryptkeepersoul @tiffdawg @freak-of-nature2002 @kingpascals @saltywintersoldat @theocatkov @babybelou @mandilflorian @aeryntheofficial @cyaredindjarin @winters-buck @the-feckless-wonder @loki-098 @arabellathorne @giselatropicana @dindisneydjarin @punkpascal @opheliaelysia @spacegayofficial @takens-world @huliabitch @stardelic @kandomeresbitch @havenforafrazzledmind @thisis-theway @stardust-galaxies @mrsparknuts @jedi-mando @frankiemorales @edencherries @lilkermit14 @virtualxjournality @ladytrashbird @thirstworldproblemss @emesispo @heresathreebee @tangledlove27 @marvgrrl @clydes-hole @hayley-the-comet @insoucianttt @witchyavenger @coaaster @starless-eyes-remain

i hope everyone is where they want to be! let me know if you want to be changed around! join a taglist here!

[m-oonrises]

12:10am

Tsukki asks for Yamaguchi's help interpreting an english passage for his homework. One of them tries to be brave.

part 2/? of yamaguchi and tsukishima‘s almost confessions 

"Yamaguchi, are you still up?" The knock comes just as he's about to throw on his covers. It's a bit past midnight, and Tsukishima probably knows it's way past his bed time. It's fine, Yamaguchi guesses that the lack of boundaries is what being best friends are for.

"Yeah, Tsukki, hold on," he opens the door to find the tall boy with a bunch of papers in hand. He stifles a yawn. "I was just about to pass out, you came just in time."

"Oh. Sorry, it can wait. It's just homework," Tsukishima doesn't look at him directly as he begins to turn from the door.

"Tsukki," he calls, but only slightly out of want and more of duty. He's lost whatever drowsiness he had a few minutes ago. If Tsukishima, his smart and immensely independent friend, is desperate enough to consult him at 12:10 am about homework, then as his best friend, he is obliged to.

It's not like they even had reason to still have boundaries when it comes to mundane things. The two of them have spent most of their lives together—from their painfully embarrassing shared childhood, to the highs and lows of high school. And when both he and Tsukishima got into the same University, it had been the logical choice to rent an apartment together.

It's mid-October and the nights are starting to get really cold. But joke's on you mother nature, Yamaguchi thinks, the mere knowledge that Tsukki lives and breathes a couple of meters away gives him all the warmth he needs.

"I can't get the meaning of this paragraph. I thought you might be able to help me," Tsukishima trails off and gestures at the clock, "I can just search it up online, though."

Yamaguchi nevertheless asks for the paper—the "It's okay, I can help" goes without saying. Toward the end of high school, Yamaguchi started getting into English Literature, intrigued by its history and forms. He wasn't the best in English when he started, but through hard work (and his then growing passion for short form English fiction) he slowly became one of the top students in their senior year English class. So it came as no surprise to anyone when he enlisted for English & Writing as an elective on their first year in University. What was a surprise, however, was Tsukishima deciding at the last minute that he'd give the class a go, too.

Today's topic for class had been "Psychology of the Self" and their professor had asked the class to write a short introspective piece about their thoughts and feelings. After which, they were asked to exchange with someone else in class, and that person was put in charge of analyzing the piece.

"Here, I can give it a read," he sets his pillows aside and takes the paper from Tsukishima's hand, motioning that the tall boy sit beside him. Tsukishima only sits by the edge of the bed.

Yamaguchi skims through the words and immediately sees that their classmate probably has had experience in writing. Albeit, a little bit cheesy but it gets the message across.

"How do I begin to explain the storm you've stirred in my heart? It's the wind that takes me high and low, that which also lives inside me, breaking through the cages of my chest, threatening to explode to reach you but can't. One day, I'll ride its gusts and fly myself to you, If I ever find the bravery."

"Oh, these are all a metaphor," he offers. Yamaguchi can feel his fingers buzz a bit while tracing the sentences, he feels like a philologist (is that what they call it?) that someone's just consulted and he's deciphering some sort of ancient text. "It's about feeling a certain way about someone, and," he clears his throat, "and feeling so much and just wanting to tell them, but not being able to. You know, that whole cliché unrequited love sort of thing."

Yes, cliché, and yet Yamaguchi knows the feeling all too well. Not to say that he hasn't had the occasional crush or fling here and there. In fact, he's received a good number of confessions toward his last year in high school, especially when he became captain. He still gets them today, and he definitely doesn't deny that some of them were cute. But Tsukki has been and always will be an ever-present presence in his life that made him want to explode, and he's constantly at the verge, held together only by a holed wall of pride he's so expertly managed to keep up. Yamaguchi's tried to repair the damage to no avail; liking Tsukki is an ages old thing that he has accepted to be an irreversible fact about himself.

"Really. Why doesn't he just tell them, then?" Tsukishima says, sounding annoyed as always, but Yamaguchi finds it a little bit out of character for him to bother with trivial things like unrequited feelings. Tsukishima continues, demanding, "If he feels he's about to explode and everything like he says."

"I don't know, Tsukki, I guess it isn't always easy," especially when you're pretty sure they don't feel the same way, Yamaguchi thinks, and you practically live with them, and they've been your best friend for just about forever, Tsukki, and whoop-dee-doo, I guess it's not really that big of a deal that everything you ever had together would be put at stake if you tell them.

"Right," Tsukishima begins, "makes sense."

The topic ends abruptly and the room goes silent. If Tsukki could read Yamaguchi's thoughts, he'd start panting from how fast they're running. The air around has suddenly become thick and he feels like he needs to focus on breathing else he'll forget.

Just as he's started drowning in his own embarrassing thoughts, Tsukishima breaks the silence when he shifts from where he's awkwardly positioned on the corner of the bed and moves just a tad bit closer, infiltrating Yamaguchi's space. He's so close that Yamaguchi can feel his warm breathing and the burning of his eyes which were now meeting the freckled boy's.

His best friend has slept over his room so many times; it isn't anything new. But Tsukki isn't the type to linger around after conversations end, Yamaguchi knows this, never the one to initiate anything. This, despite how normal it may seem, is not anything he's been expecting.

And he's definitely not expecting it when Tsukishima touches his arm lightly, opening his mouth once like he wants to say something and stops, and tries again, and—

"Yamaguchi," his voice is soft but firm, "I've been meaning to tell you something."

At this point, his hearing has been muffled by the rush of blood to his ears prompted by Tsukishima's earlier touch.

"This may sound weird but, Yamaguchi, I—"

His phone rings, as if on cue, his phone fucking rings. It's Hinata's name flashing to his ridiculous ringtone and he only feels a little bit bad thinking about how he actually wants to strangle his dear friend right now for unknowingly interrupting what could be the moment of moments. He quickly rejects the call, but Tsukishima's already snapped out of whatever trance he was in.

"Sorry, Tsukki, uh, you were saying?" Shit. It's probably the ringtone. The ringtone must've thrown Tsukki off.

"Oh-uh, nothing." Tsukishima only looks a little bit dazed before clearing his throat, and in the most Tsukishima way, calm and stoic, asks, "I was just leaving. Uh, Will you be up at seven? I can cook breakfast. You have class at nine right?"

"Oh, okay!" he tries his best not to sound disappointed at the shift. "Thanks Tsukki. Hmm, we can get coffee after! I'll walk you to class, too," Yamaguchi says and immediately wonders if he said it too enthusiastically.

"Yeah, okay," A pink color has noticeably stained Tsukishima's cheeks, but Yamaguchi doesn't comment on it, "thanks again, Yamaguchi."

"Anytime, Tsukki." He almost misses the faint smile on the blond boy's lips as he closes the door.

—

"One day, I'll ride its gusts and fly myself to you, If I ever find the bravery."

Yamaguchi threads the passage in his mind over and over. The events just moments ago hasn't sunk in yet. Could it be that it really isn't just him who lacked the bravery? And if he and Tsukki both really were thinking it, should he have been the one to go for it, instead? Should he have pushed further earlier? Maybe so. He turns his light off and settles back into his covers, setting his alarm clock to seven.

Sorry for not being brave enough today, Tsukki—staring at the ceiling, he imagines sending an invisible beam from his mind to the boy now two rooms down and hopes to the heavens that whatever his best friend was trying to say, he'll try saying again soon. Hopefully, he'll be brave enough then—Sorry, Tsukki, maybe tomorrow, we can try again.

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

Speech Impediment - Chapter 7

Ships: Logicality, prinxiety, platonic dlamp

Summary: After hearing the voicemail left by his mother, Dexter goes into temporary hiding while he clears and collects his thoughts. The others, not knowing where he went, become worried and search for him. When they find him, it’s in a place they’d never expect. Or rather, he finds them.

AO3 - Here

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6  Chapter 8

They all watched as he walked away, calling his name but receiving no answer. The four of them didn’t know what to say or to do to keep him from walking away. So they did nothing, looking at each other for an answer of what to do. 

Logan decided their best bet was to wait for him to come back to the dorms on his own.

Three hours passed since Dexter had walked off after the voicemail, and he had yet to return. Their room was the first place Patton and the others had checked, in case he had arrived there first, but there was no sign that he had been there. They took extra care looking for Dexter, in the shower, in the closet, and under the beds, he still wasn’t there. Roman was the next to suggest they check the coffee shop, but sadly had no luck. Logan then gave the following suggestion and led them to the library, where they looked and asked around. Dexter hadn’t been there either.

By the time they decided to head back the sun was already beginning to set on the horizon. When walking through the parking lot Roman noticed that his buggy was gone, meaning that he had left the campus. Patton started to openly panic at the news. 

“Oh, it’s getting colder by the minute.” Patton whined as he looked out the window as the sky became darker. “The coat he was wearing wasn’t very thick and he’s so sensitive to the cold!”

“Come on Pat, Lies and Dolls should be fine. The car heater will be keep him warm until we find him.” Roman said to the worried dad, trying to calm him.

“Actually Dexter told me that the heater broke and won’t be fixed until Monday.” Logan corrected him, but when he noticed Patton’s breathing get heavier and more frantic he quickly back tracked. “Ah, but he has an emergency blanket and supplies in his trunk! And stores are still open, he could be taking refuge somewhere.”

That made Patton feel slightly better, but he was still scared that his youngest son might be lost or hurt somewhere, or worse...

“What if he doesn’t comeback?” Virgil voiced his thoughts suddenly, curling up on Dexter’s bed as he would usually do on Patton’s. “Do you think whatever his mom said scared him away for good?”

Everyone looked to Virgil in surprise, making the emo flinch in embarrassment and shame. That thought hadn’t occurred to any of them. Dexter may very weird and likes to hid away from the world at times while under stress, but he always came back eventually once he felt better.

“No that can’t be it, look.” Logan spoke up, pointing over at Dexter’s terrarium, “Dee Dee is still in there. If he had actually left for good he wouldn’t leave her behind.”

Pointing that fact out made everyone ease up a bit, but Virgil still didn’t look too hopeful. Patton, being the only other one as visibly shaken up, went over and sat next to him, rubbing his shoulder gently.

“I’m scared too kiddo, but he’ll come back. Eventually.” He said, mustering up all of his strength to give a reassuring smile. But Virgil could still see doubt and fear in his eyes.

Each of them there had spent the past year getting to know each other and their stories. They’ve grown close and formed a life long friendship, and hopefully relationships too. That’s why when each of them learned that Patton was getting a new room mate they had become worried someone would take him away. Roman and Virgil shared a dorm room together, Logan lived with his folks in the city, so keeping an eye on him was not always possible. 

So when Patton became persistent in including Dexter in their group they had been skeptical at first. But as they got to know him and once he opened up to them, it was clear that he too would be a life long friend. Even so, how well did they truly know him? 

What if he didn’t see them in the same way? Would he ever really leave without a word?

Suddenly, two warm hands clasped onto his and brought Virgil out of his pessimistic thoughts. Looking up from his lap he met Roman’s compassionate gaze staring right at him.

“It’ll be okay, love.” Roman said, his voice low, “In the mean time, let’s all go look again.” Virgil nodded, keeping his head down to hide the red that was surly flushing his cheeks.

Roman, Virgil, and Patton then headed out to search some more, taking Roman’s red Audi. Logan stayed behind in the room to contact them in case Dexter came home on his own.

Roman drove cautiously through the snow drift to avoid sliding on ice. The car’s brights were kept on while they searched to they could get a better look at their surroundings, but were turned down whenever a car passed as to not blind the other driver.

They went up and down the city streets closest to the University before branching out. Searching aimlessly as they scoured the sidewalks for a man that looked like Dexter, or a yellow Volkswagen bug that looked like his model. They peered into store and restaurant windows as they drove by, not actually going in order to not prolong the search.

Holding his cell tightly in his grip, Virgil called Dexter for the eighth time since they got in the car, but was sent to voice mail again after hearing it ring a dozen times.

“Love, that has to be the tenth time you called him. His phone is probably dead or on silent.” Roman said to him from the wheel, Virgil sitting beside him in the front seat.

“Or he’s ignoring me.” Virgil muttered.

“Nonsense kiddo, you’re brother wouldn’t do that to you.” Patton chimed in from the seat behind Roman.

“Or he is.” He grumbled under his breath, putting his phone in his pocket and turning his gaze back to the window.

“Sweetheart, you don’t know that.” Roman attempted but was interrupted quickly when Virgil raised his voice back at him.

“Yeah I don’t, because out of all of us here I’m the one he cares about the least!”

The car came to a slow stop when they hit a red light at an intersection. Roman and Patton both turned their heads to Virgil in surprise. The emo huffed and crossed his legs under his jacket, pulling the stings on his hoodie to close the hood over his eyes.

“You all get along with Dee so well. You were his first friend, Logan connects with him over their tutoring nerd shit, and you and him are so creative that it’s natural for you to get along.” Virgil confessed, gesturing to both Patton and Roman respectively when he mentioned their bonding with Dexter. “We have nothing in common. He loves horror and gore, but that stuff just gives me anxiety. He likes snakes and reptiles but I like cats. I never know what talk to him about, I can’t even talk to him about his writing because when I read his last story it gave me a panic attack but I was too embarrassed to tell him. How can I call myself friends with him?”

Roman and Patton looked at each other in worry before turning back to Virgil, listening as he gave his uncertain monologue. They hadn’t been aware that he had been feeling guilty about not being able to connect well with Dexter, because they all thought that both of their love for all things spooky already made the two of them great friends. Apparently that’s not how Virgil saw it.

Roman was about to say something, reaching out a hand, but was stunted again when a soft knock came from outside the passenger window. Everyone in the car turned to looked at the knocker knocking and were surprised to see it was actually Dexter himself. He was draped in a blanket and covered in a small layer of snow. His skin was an unholy pale shade and his lips were turning blue.

“Would you mind not giving me a ride?” He smiled.

Hearing his signature speech impediment they all immediately hopped out of the car crying, “Dexter!”. Virgil was the first to wrap his arms around the snaky boy, followed by Patton then Roman, who had to get around the car. All of the sudden each of them started to spew questions and talking over each other.

“Where have you been, Dee? We were worried sick!”

“Why the fuck weren’t you answering you’re fucking phone?”

“Why are you here? Where’s you’re car?”

“Language! But seriously, why did you run off?”

“Why didn’t you come back?”

“Did we do something wrong?”

Dexter’s head began to spin from all the questions that were shot at him all at the same time, and the fact that they were hugging him a little too hard. 

Out of nowhere a loud horn honked at them and they all turned to see that a car had pulled up behind them, waiting for them to move so he could continue down the road.

“Can’t you see we’re having a moment, shitbag?!” Virgil yelled at the driver. The driver honked at them once more before going around them and rolling the window down as they went past.

“Assholes!” The older man shouted at them and drove away.

“Fuck you!” Virgil shouted back, flipping the car off, ignoring Patton as he lectured him about cussing again.

“I’m not sorry, but my car didn’t break down and my phone isn’t dead.” Dexter explained after getting air back in his lungs when they let go to confront the car. “I wasn’t walking back when I didn’t see a normal car parked at a green light.”

“What do you mean normal? Casey is an awesome car.” Roman defended for his Audi.

“Yes, unusual.” Dexter scoffed, trying to be sarcastic, but just confused everyone. “Always mind. Anyway, can you not give my car a jump?”

“When you’ve been out here for hours? No way!” Patton sternly refused, pushing Dexter towards the car door, “You are coming home right now!”

“But my car-”

“Can wait until tomorrow, amigo.” Roman told him, getting into the car as well. “Where’d you park it?”

“Not in front of the reptile shop.” They all gave him a stage look. “L-looking at snakes calms me down.”

“Okay he’s not normal. Let’s get back so we can get him warmed up.” Virgil said from the back seat, letting Dexter be in the front so he could be closer to the heater.

Patton called Logan and told him that they were on their way back with Dexter, and to prepare a heater and blankets for when hey arrived. The car ride back was swift, but not too rushed, and they pulled into the parking lot fifteen minutes later. Everyone helped Dexter get out of the car and into the elevator. Normally Dexter would have refuse to use the elevator, but Patton wasn’t having it and would not let him walk up three flights of stairs.

When they walked into room 203, several blankets were set on Dexter’s bed like a nest, and a small heater was set next to the bed on the desk. Logan immediate walked over and pulled Dexter over to sit in the blanket nest, and keeled in front of him to check his body for any frostbite, starting with the hands and face.

“Just like a mother hen.” Roman mumbled, but went ignored.

When Logan finished his examination he let out a relived sigh and stood up. “Only some minor frost nip on the ears, cheeks and hands.” He said before suddenly cupping Dexter’s cheeks in his hands. “Treatment includes holding the nipped body part against warm skin, and blowing on it.”

Dexter quickly pulled away before Logan could attempt the latter treatment, extremely uncomfortable with having the other’s hands all over him.

“Or I couldn’t wrap myself in a blanket.” Dexter said instead, scooching a tad away.

“Mind you mother, Dee.” Patton said as he sat down next to him.

“Patton, don’t encourage it.”

“Why? You’re obviously the mom of this group!” Roman joined in. “You always lecture us about our diet and exercise-”

“Because I don’t want you to die.”

“Like a mom!”

Thus a friendly argument broke out among the three of them. Patton and Roman listed off all the motherly things he does, and Logan fervently denying them, saying he was just he was just being considerate, then Roman saying that’s exactly why he’s the mom. 

While the others got distracted by their fighting, or as Patton calls it, discussing--or as Logan calls it, debating--Virgil walked over and quietly sat down next to Dexter.

“You feeling better?” He asked, albeit a bit awkwardly.

“No, I’m feeling awful.” The still shivering boy replied.

“Good.” Virgil said simply, seemingly dropping the conversation, but Dexter noticed him continue to twitch and didn’t know why that was.

“How about you?” He asked in turn. Virgil jolted slightly, as if he didn’t expect to be asked that, and continued to avoid eye contact. After a few moments, the others still debating in the background, Virgil spoke again without looking up.

“Were friends right?” Virgil questioned hushedly. Dexter barely caught what he had said, but was surprised by the question.

“Do you see us as such?” Dexter asked, slightly hurt.

“No, I do!” Virgil said quickly, finally looking up at him, “I just thought that you didn’t think of me as much of a friend as the others.”

“Of course I don’t, what didn’t give you that idea?” Virgil only shrugged in response, not willing to talk any further. Dexter didn’t want to press further, or more so he didn’t know how to ask, so he let it go. The emo had always been the only other socially awkward friend in the group, Logan wasn’t awkward he was inept so he didn’t count, but Dexter always found comfort in that. 

Did Virgil not feel the same way about him?

“Why’d you leave?” He suddenly spoke again staring at his phone, acting like he didn’t just ask a question. But he asked loud enough for the others to hear and stop their discussion.

All eyes turned to him when he didn’t reply, peering into him questioningly with their questioning questions. Dexter felt stumped on what to tell them without actively lying. He didn’t want to do that to them, but he also didn’t want to bother them with something so stupid.

“I’m not fine.” He said simply, wrapping the blankets tighter around him, trying to throw them off.

“That’s a lie.” Logan said in a terse manner. Dexter winched slightly, knowing he was caught lying so easily. He tried to hide from them in a cocoon of blankets, but Patton stopped him from doing so.

“Dexter.” That was the first time he’s ever use his full name. “What’s wrong?”

.

.

There is a reason that Virgil is afraid Dee left for good, but more on that later. 

Hope y’all like the new chapter, love ya and see ya next time!

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