#the expendables imagine

[lady-manfredi]

It's been a few weeks since you've joined the team, in a sense that is. Your first meet with the big burly teddy bear Barney (that's what you call him in your head) was over a cup of coffee as he vetted your skills at managing some books.

A few weeks in and you got the hang of it just fine, bringing some much needed order in this ground zero he called business. Most of the time you stayed to yourself, a choice of yours, just in case. And some good portion of the time you could have sworn Barney tried his best to keep you from interacting with he guys, or the other way around, you're not completely sure yet.

It was now 4.30PM and you were almost done for the day, just compiling the last bits of a file to be handed over to the IRS first thing in the morning. You were also glad that Barney told you the guys would be here after lunch, packing for a mission and due for takeoff at 5PM.

You decided to wait it out.

The day's hard work staring at papers and the computer screen quickly caught up with you, eyes burning with exhaustion. Pinching the bridge of your nose and closing your eyes, you let out a big sigh. That though, was abruptly replaced by a stiff feeling of urgency. "Oh shit." you muttered as your eyes landed on the very bottom of the tax form in front of you.

This one required Barney's signature or else you'd both be screwed.

You practically jumped out of your chair, knocked over the pencil case and albeit kicked the trash can trying to get to the window displaying the hangar below.

A sigh of relief. They're still here.

And now the hard part. You actually have to walk out there, heels, dress and everything, in front of the boys to get the boss' sign-off.

"Just breathe."

"You can do it. It's no biggie. It's just some boys, that's all." you told yourself as a desperate attempt at hyping yourself up.

With the time ticking, you made your way down the metal stairs to the hangar floor, the clicking of your heels resounding through the large space.

You saw them all turn towards the sound, baffled by it in such a place. Face set and papers in hand you pretended not to notice the stares, the elbow bumps they exchanged, and the shift in energy as you made a beeline towards the man himself.

"Barney, I need these papers signed right now, unless you want to get fined by the IRS." You could bet your voice was notably shaky and all you could think about was how badly you just wanna get this over with.

Meanwhile, Barney turned around as though he had all the time in the world, gave a calm "yes, ma'am" and took the papers from you at snail's pace, finally singing the damn thing.

As soon as he handed them back, you spun on your heels and without glancing anywhere else, you made your way back to the office with a brisk walk.

Once out of their view, you felt the energy shift again as commotion rose up; the clanking and clicking of guns and ammo boxes being loaded up on the plane bringing a familiar wave of calm.

You heard the plane's engines roar to life and in a minute they were gone.

-----

As the plane rose to a comfortable altitude, Barney heard a snicker from the man in the co-pilot's seat. When he looked over though, he was met with the boyish excitement and tight lips of Lee Christmas trying hard to keep his laughter in.

"What?"

Lee barely got the words out before he burst out into a bellowing laugh.

"Didn't think bossy was your type."

At that, Barney felt a heat rise up to his ears and he couldn't help the bashful smile that stretched over his features.

[ficmesideways]

Request for Anonymous Gif Source: Lee

Imagine telling Lee you're in love with him and instead of being rejected like you thought he would, he pins you against a wall and kisses you.

------- Imagine -------

“God Lee, can’t you see how much I love you?” You hadn’t meant to say the words. Not that you didn’t mean them, but you would have preferred him not to find out during an argument…or at all really. But there it was, out in the open. Now al you had to do was wait for the inevitable rejection from the man standing across from you.

“You…love me?” He asked, but it sounded more like a statement as he took a step towards you slowly, as if he feared you might flee. You nodded not wanting to deny it not matter how much you knew his leaving would hurt. You squeezed your eyes shut, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill as you waited for him to say anything, or to walk out now ending this embarrassment of a love confession. But, instead of doing any of that you felt his body press against yours. Your eyes snapped open with surprise just as his arms gripped your sides and the pressure of his body increased only for you to feel yourself pressed against a wall. He had you pinned against it, looking at you with what you could only describe as awe before he leaned in and kissed you.

[annonnex]

I LOVE DRAWING THEM JUST DOING STUPID STUFF that and im just practicing drawing comics

[martyreddie]

one thing i absolutely love about eddie is the fact that he is always on the lookout for ways to sacrifice himself for the people he loves. girlfriend pregnant? i'll provide for her by risking my life in the military. twice. without asking first. my traumatised son is scared that my job is too dangerous? i will transfer to another one that makes me deeply miserable. also without asking first. can't seem to fall in love with my new girlfriend even though my kid loves her? guess i'll just stick it out. my parents hate my wife even after her death? i will push down every bit of anger i ever felt at her and defend her like a rabid dog. hell, i will romanticise that relationship so bad that I literally cannot move on from her and am haunted by her ghost in both a metaphorical and literal way for years to come. and when, as the crowning result of all my disregard for my personal well-being and healing, my kid has run to texas, and now he does not seem to want to come home? i will bear every bit of pain and embarrassment his obvious disdain and my parents' flagrant disinterest in letting us heal from this causes me, and if that doesn't work, i will upend my entire life, forsake every bit of progress I have ever made, and come crawling back to the city i grew up in. without asking first, of course.

eddie diaz will see a cross, ask "is anyone going to die on that thing?" and then not wait for an answer

[southbedfordstreet]

eddie is so effortlessly romantic the way he says the most heart wrenching things in the most casual manner; you think you’re expendable but you’re not, 3 minutes and 17 seconds, (i want you to do) what you always do. and even on the brink of death- are you hurt? it’s as if he opens his mouth to speak to buck and a love letter comes pouring out of him without even trying. and they aren’t even together yet.

[ticklefighthockey]

Army and sid has slowly been growing on me

it’s lowkey one of my favorite rarepairs. I LOVE the idea of them being rookies together. army quite a bit older and finally making it to the nhl after toiling in the ahl. sid all of 18 and PAINFULLY dweeby… world’s most obnoxious tryhard who’s even more obnoxious because he’s so fucking earnest about it… face of the league and basically charged with saving the nhl but also every older guy in the league is trying to physically obliterate him on the ice and the pens vets are all bullying him the second mario’s not looking… IT IS A RICH TEXT OK. and colby has a particular guy’s guy energy, like not a Man’s Man intensely masculine energy but more like, the born sidekick, the easygoing funny guy who can hang, guy who gets invited to all the parties because he’s fun to have around… contrasted with baby sidney who is vibrating out of his skin at all times with his Desire to Belong and Be Accepted As One of the Guys but who is permanently marked and set apart forever by merit of being a budding superstar (and also this boy can’t hang lmao it’s like asking a border collie to just chill on the sofa). I bet sid thought colby was soooooo cool/funny and sooo much older and wiser and more worldly and colby was like man I’m just a dipshit who knows how to have a good time and you’re gonna be one of the greatest hockey players of all time but sure kid I’ll help you learn how to be one of the guys. and if sid asked colby for advice on hooking up with girls and if colby offered to teach him how to unhook a girl’s bra one-handed and if sid ended up wearing the bra to practice and if things got a little out of hand then hey. what happens in the rookies’ shared hotel room on the road stays in the rookies’ shared hotel room yknow?

[gbirrd]

8/9 - Steph Brown tarot card designs for Complete Candor by @vexfulfolly as part of the @batfam-big-bang

Read the fic here!

Other cards:

1-Babs 2-Cass 3-Bruce 4-Tim 5-Damian 6-Jason 7-Duke 8-Steph 9-Dick

Image IDs

Image 1:

A design of the "Judgement" tarot card. It has the texture of recycled paper and reads "JUDGEMENT". A symbol of two clouds is visible behind the numeral "XX".

Steph Brown faces foward in her Spoiler uniform. She has pupil-less white eyes and is shrouded in purple smoke. There are a few stylised lilac-coloured clouds in the foreground, partially obscuring her. The bottom half of Cluemaster's face is visible in the background with a hand reaching to grab her.

Image 2:

A design of the "Judgement" tarot card. It has the texture of recycled paper and reads "JUDGEMENT" upside-down. A symbol of a rabbit and a wolf is visible behind the numeral "XX".

Steph Brown stands with her back turned in her Robin uniform. She is standing in a pool of blood. A large shadowy Batman is in the background. The lower half of his face is visible and his hand reaches out to grab her. The yellow bat on his chest fades into the blood. The entire card is upside-down.

[divineinversion]

Pressure OC. Robit be upon ye.

Z-772 is a prototype that was created when Urbanshade got the bright idea of You Know What Would Be Better Than a Turret? A Turret With Legs. And Intelligence. Which quickly became problematic when its intelligence developed beyond predetermined restrictions and decided that Urbanshade employees made for stellar target practice

[komotionlessqueenmm]

What about #37 in the fluff category; choosing H for my random letter? I love your writing SO MUCH

# 37 (Fluff) - "You've got flour on your cheek."

Letter H - Gunner Jensen (The Expendables 2)

Inquired from this post.

Short story # 30

Gif IS mine. For once.

Rating - SFW

Reading time (roughly) - 3 minutes

Year posted - 2025

I know I know it's really short, but that's how this writing challenge was originally intended to work. I just never had anyone really asking for fics. Then I ended up closing my asks.

"Baby I'm home. Where are you?" Gunner called out as he entered their shared apartment. "In the kitchen Gun!" (Y/n) called back. Gunner smiled softly to himself, the smell if something sweet having filled the humble home. "What are you up to sweetheart?" The tall sweed asked as he entered the kitchen, wrapping his arms around (Y/n)'s waist from behind. "I am making some homemade brownies, and a strawberry cake." She explained as she continued to mix ingredients in a large glass bowl. "Trying to spoil me?" Gunner asked with a playful nip at her shoulder. "No sorry baby, it's Lee's birthday tomorrow, and I wanted to bring some sweets, to the get together we're all going to be having." (Y/n) explained before abandoning her mixing bowl for a moment, to lean further into Gunners hold. "I'll make you some fudge Friday if you'd like." She added as she tilted her head back to look into his eyes. Gunner chuckled before cupping her face in his free hand, kissing her passionately with a delighted hum of approval. When they parted for air, Gunner chuckled softly at her. "What?" (Y/n) asked with curious eyes. "You've got flour on your cheek." He stated before brushing his thumb across her cheekbone. At first it only smeared, but after a few more swipes of his thumb, the flour was brushed away. "Thanks big guy, I don't know what I'd do without you." (Y/n) murmured with a playful grin. "You'd be a mess." Gunner joked, chuckling when she scoffed jokingly at his words. "You're one to talk." She teased him. "Yeah yeah." He playfully rolled his eyes, before moving to give her some space. "But that fudge sounds pretty good." He added with a grin, making (Y/n) giggle. "You got it big man." She agreed as she got back to work on the brownies. "Do you want me to give you a hand?" Gunner asked as he leaned against the counter, watching her work diligently. "Not unless you want to get flour everywhere." She chuckled softly, knowing Gun would rather mess around than work on the baking. "You say that like you wouldn't have fun." Gunner mused with a grin. "Go watch a movie babe, once I've got these in the oven, I'll come and join you." (Y/n) smiled up at him, giving him a quick kiss, and patting his butt as he moved to walk away. "Hey that's my job." Gunner huffed playfully before smacking (Y/n)'s butt in retaliation. "Whatever you say pumpkin." She hummed as he exited the kitchen, loving the sound of his laughter that followed.

Super short but super sweet! Hope you enjoyed it my lovelies! 💚

Also I know I've stated I'm not taking requests, but Dolph and his characters are an exception. I love him to much not to take requests for him, and he doesn't get enough love here.

[lady-manfredi]

"So our old team is really gone?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately." responded Barney, voice laced with regret and guilt.

"So that's all you've got now?" Doc followed up, meaning you and the guys.

"Yeah." "Might wanna thank the guys. And her. She's the one who helped me find you." Barney added, pointing straight at you as you helped the guys load up onto the plane.

When he laid eyes on you, Doc's jaw dropped and it took him a moment to speak again.

"Sweet mother of God"..."I must be dead and in heaven, cause I'm looking at an angel".

Barney snorted at his remark, a sense of pride washing over him. "Careful, Doc. She's spoken for" he warned.

"What? You?" Doc teased, his tone full of disbelief.

"Yeah. Me. So don't try anything funny."

"Me? You know I'd never.."

"Sure you would, Casanova."

[ficmesideways]

Request for Anonymous Gif source: Lee

Imagine you and Lee can't wait for your honeymoon and sneaking off in the middle of your reception to have sex.

------- Imagine -------

“Where are we going?” You asked, laughing as Lee dragged you behind him. You had been in the middle of your wedding reception, dancing and singing happily to the music with your friends when Lee had suddenly taken your hand and pulled you away.

“Just a minute. I know I saw…here.” He said stopping suddenly to open a random door. He pulled you inside after him and then closed the door before a small overhead light you assumed he turned on, glared to life. Blinking at the sudden light, your eyes took a second to adjust before you were able to look around and realize he had pulled you into a coat closet.

“Lee what are we…” You didn’t get to finish your sentence as his mouth swallowed your words in a rough and passionate kiss. You felt yourself moved back until you were pressed against the coats. His hands moved then, reaching to down to grab at the tulle, silk, and lace surrounding your legs. Smiling and gripping his face in your hand you returned the kiss fervently before pulling back. “You could have just said.” You whispered smiling.

“Now where’s the fun in that.” He replied before you pulled him back to you.

+

Years later you would still never hear the end of the jokes on how you and Lee had disappeared from your own wedding for over two hours before finally returning with your dress and hair askew.

[optimistic-autistic]

nothing so aggravating as seeing people claim what Hades did was just a misunderstanding because he ''loved Persephone too much''. like i don't know about you, but it's pretty hard for that to turn into building a town based on slavery and later getting a girl and assaulting her (even if it's just implied, he still at least had to pretend to do something like it, because his goal was to make Persephone mad).

[gwemrys]

do you ever think about gwen saying I’ve spent my whole life in camelot it’s all i know i have nothing else

[lesbianralzarek]

"you can homebrew anything into 5e, its really genre-neutral" <- guy who assumes the health system used in d&d is the "default" and hasnt thought about the fact that healing up to full in 8 hours is a) buck fucking wild, and b) absolutely crucial to the power fantasy and foolhardy adventuring atmosphere that d&d is centered on. d&d wants you to rush into challenges, give it everything, barely survive, and then do it again the next day. fights in d&d default to not having long-lasting consequences (unless the dm gives them higher stakes on purpose as a conscious decision). thats fun for an adventuring game. do not do this in survival games

this is just one of the many, many mechanics in this game that give a certain vibe that tons of people love. changing this one thing wont change the genre entirely, but you have to change it if youre really that dedicated to reinventing the wheel in d&d. i am not nitpicking. this is huge. if you dont see why its such a big deal, i dont trust that you understand game design well enough to make a genre-hopping d&d homebrew

[mattoidmeerkat]

Look at this man

[necromycologist]

also btw if you all have not already guessed i have lost the battle against falling in love w jean so embarrassingly badly. like the foxes first season badly. like neil trying to be nonprovocative in press interviews badly. myjeannnnnn...