#the expendables imagine

[lady-manfredi]

It's been a few weeks since you've joined the team, in a sense that is. Your first meet with the big burly teddy bear Barney (that's what you call him in your head) was over a cup of coffee as he vetted your skills at managing some books.

A few weeks in and you got the hang of it just fine, bringing some much needed order in this ground zero he called business. Most of the time you stayed to yourself, a choice of yours, just in case. And some good portion of the time you could have sworn Barney tried his best to keep you from interacting with he guys, or the other way around, you're not completely sure yet.

It was now 4.30PM and you were almost done for the day, just compiling the last bits of a file to be handed over to the IRS first thing in the morning. You were also glad that Barney told you the guys would be here after lunch, packing for a mission and due for takeoff at 5PM.

You decided to wait it out.

The day's hard work staring at papers and the computer screen quickly caught up with you, eyes burning with exhaustion. Pinching the bridge of your nose and closing your eyes, you let out a big sigh. That though, was abruptly replaced by a stiff feeling of urgency. "Oh shit." you muttered as your eyes landed on the very bottom of the tax form in front of you.

This one required Barney's signature or else you'd both be screwed.

You practically jumped out of your chair, knocked over the pencil case and albeit kicked the trash can trying to get to the window displaying the hangar below.

A sigh of relief. They're still here.

And now the hard part. You actually have to walk out there, heels, dress and everything, in front of the boys to get the boss' sign-off.

"Just breathe."

"You can do it. It's no biggie. It's just some boys, that's all." you told yourself as a desperate attempt at hyping yourself up.

With the time ticking, you made your way down the metal stairs to the hangar floor, the clicking of your heels resounding through the large space.

You saw them all turn towards the sound, baffled by it in such a place. Face set and papers in hand you pretended not to notice the stares, the elbow bumps they exchanged, and the shift in energy as you made a beeline towards the man himself.

"Barney, I need these papers signed right now, unless you want to get fined by the IRS." You could bet your voice was notably shaky and all you could think about was how badly you just wanna get this over with.

Meanwhile, Barney turned around as though he had all the time in the world, gave a calm "yes, ma'am" and took the papers from you at snail's pace, finally singing the damn thing.

As soon as he handed them back, you spun on your heels and without glancing anywhere else, you made your way back to the office with a brisk walk.

Once out of their view, you felt the energy shift again as commotion rose up; the clanking and clicking of guns and ammo boxes being loaded up on the plane bringing a familiar wave of calm.

You heard the plane's engines roar to life and in a minute they were gone.

-----

As the plane rose to a comfortable altitude, Barney heard a snicker from the man in the co-pilot's seat. When he looked over though, he was met with the boyish excitement and tight lips of Lee Christmas trying hard to keep his laughter in.

"What?"

Lee barely got the words out before he burst out into a bellowing laugh.

"Didn't think bossy was your type."

At that, Barney felt a heat rise up to his ears and he couldn't help the bashful smile that stretched over his features.

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Imagine # 1,043

Gif NOT mine. (Found on Pinterest)

If this gif is yours (or you know who's it is) please let me, so I can give you/them credit.

Gif credit goes to - Unknown.

Year posted - 2023

*I actually teared up a few times while writing this one, because the dream described in this one is literally a dream I just had a few hours ago. Doesn't help how vivid and real my dreams look and feel.

"I heard you moaning my name in your sleep." Gunnar stated with a smirk, thinking he'd caught her having a wet dream about him. "You died in my dream." (Y/n) frowned before glancing at the rest of the team, who were across the warehouse packing equipment. Gunnar had since frozen at her words, his smirk vanishing. "You all did." She added bitterly before standing up and walking away, suddenly in desperate need for fresh air. The Sweed remind frozen there for several minutes, shocked and honestly appalled by the thought of (Y/n) having to watch them all die. When the guys laughed particularly loud at something that had occurred, Gunnar snapped out of his mind and went looking for (Y/n), finding her smoking a cigarette on the roof. He walked across the roof, and sat beside her, so close their knees touched. It was his way of showing her that he was still here, still alive. But she didn't even turn to look at him, instead the cherry of her cigarette simply glew as she took another long drag, her eyes locked on the darkness of the night sky.

"What happened?" Gunnar asked suddenly, genuinely curious about how bad her dream must have been to shake her up like this. "We were on a mission, on some off the grid tropical island. An island that was lost, and supposedly untouched by man for decades." She took another deep drag, and Gunnar wondered why he'd never noticed her smoking before. "Well that was bullshit of course." She chuckled darkly. "Why were we sent there?" Gunnar asked, his eyes locked solely on her, while her gaze remained elsewhere. "To find and retrieve an ancient artifact. Worth millions. It was like a dream come true, easiest job we'd ever been on. That's what we thought anyways." Her tongue swiped out and across her bottom lip before she continued. "We were deep in the jungle, separated into teams. You, me, and Caesar were travelling down the river in kayaks. Ross, Christmas, and Toll were on foot. They were gonna check an old temple deep within the jungle, we were gonna check an old village nestled within a massive cave a ways down the river." She snuffed out the rest of the cigarette.

"I wasn't there in the dream, but I still saw it happen, Toll had accidentally tripped a booby trap. An old bouncing Betty was triggered, and then he was gone. Then bombs were going off at the base of trees surrounding Ross and Christmas. Ross got pinned, and ended up dying when a wolf with only half a face came and tore his throat out. Christmas made it out, only to be cornered by two Jaguar... I don't know if he'd lost his knives or what... But he... Well he didn't stand a chance." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment. It wasn't until then that Gunnar realized just how deeply he cared for (Y/n), as he fought an internal battle to resist taking her in his arms and chasing that nightmare away. "We only had two kayaks, so as usual me and you paired up together. But when Caesar was suddenly shot through the heart, you shoved be out of the boat and into the water, yelling to get the hell out of there until you were also shot through the heart." Tears welled in her eyes, and she didn't even hide wiping them away. The sight broke Gunnars heart. "You guys kept floating down river in the boats, and I stayed in the water beside you, using your bodies as cover, and hoping whoever had shot you would think I had drowned." She sniffled as her nose began to run from her bodies reaction to her crying.

"No such luck I guess. Caesars boat got flipped when it bumped a bolder, tossing his into the water, and breaking part of my cover. A bullet struck the water just a few inches from my head, then my legs got tangled up in this jumble of rocks. Of course my foot got stuck." She shook her head. "You kept floating down the river of course. And I couldn't tear my eyes away, even as I heard men shouting and running into the water. Your voice still ringing in my ears, telling me to get outta here." She ran a hand through her hair, and Gunnar placed his hand right above her knee, trying to offer her comfort. "I uh got my foot free, and tried climbing onto a bolder, hoping to use it as an advantage point." She cleared her throat. "But I was surrounded, mostly by these deformed looking animals, and only about four guys. But they had rifles, and I'd lost mine when you tried saving me." (Y/n) finally turned her gaze to Gunnar then. "I couldn't help but look downstream where you were, sighing in heartbreak as I muttered "Oh Gunnar." Then I was knocked out when one of the men struck me with the butt of his gun." Gunnar realized that what he had heard while she was asleep, and had assumed to be scandalous or lewd, had actually been her parting words to him as he was lost entirely to her.

"I woke up in a cave, one right off the river, it wasn't quiet where we had been headed, but probably not far off. Anyways I had my hands tied behind my back, and I was struggling to stand up. When I did I saw that wolf with half a face. One side was normal, while the other side was missing all the skin and most of the muscle, like it was dead and decaying." (Y/n) had since turned her eyes back to the far distance. "And it wasn't until it looked at me and growled that I realized it was gnawing on Ross's severed arm. Lucky ring." She sighed heavily, and Gunnar gave her leg a light squeeze, encouraging her to continue. "I could hear this rhythmic thumping coming from a corridor to my right, it was alluring in a way, almost hypnotic. Knowing I was the only one left I needed to decide if getting the job done was worth it, or if running away was a better idea. I know most of you guys would have wanted me to run and save myself, but I couldn't just let you all die for nothing, I just needed to figure out what I was going to do." Gunnar frowned deeper, knowing that's exactly what they'd want, and that's exactly what she'd do. And he hated it.

"I don't really remember how I got my hands free, I think I used a stalagmite, or something like that. But right as I broke my bonds one of the guys from before had entered the chamber. He was the one that had the sniper, and had killed you and Caesar." (Y/n)'s fingers moved to pick at a string on the hem of her shirt. "He started talking about the artifact we were there for, about how it had some effect on living things, made them bloodthirsty, dangerous. He didn't seem upset about it, or about what he'd done. He was smiling in fact, as if he were proud of his accomplishments. Fucking asshole." She hissed as she shook her head. "He just kept monologuing, and then these weird monkey looking things started attacking my legs. So I kicked the little bastards off, one of them tried jumping at me, but I caught it by the throat, and I just squeezed and just kept squeezing even after I'd felt it's neck break. I... I was so angry, so... Heartbroken." (Y/n) wiped her eyes as a new wave of tears threatened to spill.

"Something had happened then, and despite clearly being on the same team, the guy and that wolf were now at each other's throats. It was as if the violence I had caused, triggered something in everything around me and they all just started killing eachother." She swallowed thickly. "I took my chance and took off down the corridor I heard the thumping coming from. And the closer I got to it, the odder the corridor became. The floor had turned into a small stream, with sand, rocks, and everything. But the walls, the walls were the strangest thing. It was as if they were made of carved wax, intricate tribal designs carved all across the walls, which were shiny from a thin layer of it melting in the heat that was coming from further down the hall." She frowned as she tried in vain to understand. "When I reached the chamber the floor had eroded into a pit filled with fire, while a narrow path lead to the artifact. The artifact itself was just a small statue of some lost deity, but you could still feel it's power. It wasn't until I managed to tear my eyes away from the statue, that I realized you were all hanging from the ceiling. Even Toll, who was only a pair of legs by that point. I screamed and cried, and I realized that this thing couldn't leave the island, and neither could I." She chuckled bitterly.

"I never have had the nerve to ask Ross to teach me how to fly." She then shook her head before continuing. "I knew you had what I needed, because you were the only one crazy enough to carry c4 in your pocket for "emergencies". So I scaled the wall and ceiling, cussing and crying the entire time from how much it hurt my muscles and hands, until I reached you." Gunnar squeezed her leg again, and this time (Y/n) rest her head against his shoulder, sighing deeply as she did so. "You looked so peaceful, like you were only sleeping. I remember resting my forehead against yours, whispering about how I wasn't far behind. And after placing a kiss..." She hesitated, but the feeling of Gunnar leaning ever so slightly into her kept her talking. "Against your lips. I took what I would need, and made my way back down to the ground. I then planted the c4 and set up the detonator, when I was finished with that I sat on the ground beside the statue, looking up at all of you and whispering my apology for failing you all. And with one final look at you, I triggered the detonator." She sat upright from leaning against Gunnar. "Then I woke up, found you all okay and in good spirits. But I can't get those images out of my head, how real it all felt, how much it hurt to watch you die, and for what? For nothing." Gunnar stopped her rambling by taking a gentle hold of her head and turning her to him.

"That's never gonna happen." He assured her before closing the distance between them, kissing her tenderly despite wanting to pour all of his want into their first kiss. (Y/n) had jumped in surprise initially, but quickly melted into the kiss, having been harboring a crush on Gunnar for years now. Gunnar pulled away first, both of them still a little dazed from the kiss. "We're never going to a lost island, and we are never going to go retrieve some ancient artifact." (Y/n) smiled at his words, a content sigh passing her lips when he kissed her once more. This time when he pulled away he had a smile on his face. "And Barney is going to teach you how to fly that shitty plane of his." He added as he pulled her hands into his own, his thumbs tracing the backs of her hands as they simply gazed at eachother. "Whatever you say big guy." (Y/n) hummed softly, knowing he was true to his word, despite the almost playful look in his eyes. All was well in the world, because they were alive, he was alive. And now he was hers.

[ficmesideways]

Request for Anonymous Gif Source: Lee

Imagine telling Lee you're in love with him and instead of being rejected like you thought he would, he pins you against a wall and kisses you.

------- Imagine -------

“God Lee, can’t you see how much I love you?” You hadn’t meant to say the words. Not that you didn’t mean them, but you would have preferred him not to find out during an argument…or at all really. But there it was, out in the open. Now al you had to do was wait for the inevitable rejection from the man standing across from you.

“You…love me?” He asked, but it sounded more like a statement as he took a step towards you slowly, as if he feared you might flee. You nodded not wanting to deny it not matter how much you knew his leaving would hurt. You squeezed your eyes shut, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill as you waited for him to say anything, or to walk out now ending this embarrassment of a love confession. But, instead of doing any of that you felt his body press against yours. Your eyes snapped open with surprise just as his arms gripped your sides and the pressure of his body increased only for you to feel yourself pressed against a wall. He had you pinned against it, looking at you with what you could only describe as awe before he leaned in and kissed you.

[frownyalfred]

I'm sure one of the Batkids has tried that whole "I'm locking you in this room to go sacrifice myself" schtick with Bruce and assured themselves that the plan would work because Bruce was 1) already injured and 2) down to just his armor, no utility belt or weapons/devices.

but what they didn't account for was the fact that Bruce would absolutely, 100% bust down that door with his bare hands, splitting the knuckles open and fracturing his fingers and ruining his gloves and armor if needed. he would break that door and probably the wall if it meant getting to his Robin before he did something dumb like pull a last-minute self-sacrifice plan.

[annonnex]

I LOVE DRAWING THEM JUST DOING STUPID STUFF that and im just practicing drawing comics

[8x06eddie]

eddie is so effortlessly romantic the way he says the most heart wrenching things in the most casual manner; you think you’re expendable but you’re not, 3 minutes and 17 seconds, (i want you to do) what you always do. and even on the brink of death- are you hurt? it’s as if he opens his mouth to speak to buck and a love letter comes pouring out of him without even trying. and they aren’t even together yet.

[gbirrd]

8/9 - Steph Brown tarot card designs for Complete Candor by @vexfulfolly as part of the @batfam-big-bang

Read the fic here!

Other cards:

1-Babs 2-Cass 3-Bruce 4-Tim 5-Damian 6-Jason 7-Duke 8-Steph 9-Dick

Image IDs

Image 1:

A design of the "Judgement" tarot card. It has the texture of recycled paper and reads "JUDGEMENT". A symbol of two clouds is visible behind the numeral "XX".

Steph Brown faces foward in her Spoiler uniform. She has pupil-less white eyes and is shrouded in purple smoke. There are a few stylised lilac-coloured clouds in the foreground, partially obscuring her. The bottom half of Cluemaster's face is visible in the background with a hand reaching to grab her.

Image 2:

A design of the "Judgement" tarot card. It has the texture of recycled paper and reads "JUDGEMENT" upside-down. A symbol of a rabbit and a wolf is visible behind the numeral "XX".

Steph Brown stands with her back turned in her Robin uniform. She is standing in a pool of blood. A large shadowy Batman is in the background. The lower half of his face is visible and his hand reaches out to grab her. The yellow bat on his chest fades into the blood. The entire card is upside-down.

[slumbergoblin]

Happy Valentine's Day! :)

[asksebs]

Bet. Gimme that kiss mf. *He hands you the research, and then dives face first into that mouf. Kissing Seb frfr bro.* MWAAAHH.

I DIDN’T THINK YOU ACTUALLY HAD THAT MUCH ON YOU WHAG THmmmwwah

[foursaints]

people i want to get to know better ♡♡

thank you for the tags my beautiful beloveds @static-radio-ao3 @pupmotif @sugarsnappeases. oh i am going to fucking prattle on so sorry in advance

last song: if im being 100% honest it was dirty little secret by the all-american rejects. in my roommate's car on the way to Target fave colour: orange & brown sweep 🤎🧡🤎🧡 last film/show: ok my SECOND most recent film was l’avventura (1960) by michelangelo antonioni (<- film bro card will never be revoked). but my actual most recent watch was the animated peter pan sweet/savoury/spicy: im korean the answer has to be spicy relationship status: single rn but you guys don't get how huge this is for me.... i haven't been properly single since i was 16..... this is a healing moment though i feel so monastic last thing i googled: "heart unicode symbol" see title current obsession: it would be inauthentic to put anything besides barty crouch jr but i've recently been getting really into orchestral covers of doja cat songs is anybody else on this last book: for school it was "Shaking a leg : journalism and writings" by Angela Carter & for fun it was "Lucy by the sea" by elizabeth strout looking forward to: idk how much ive talked about education major stuff on here but im teaching in a first grade classroom for the rest of the year & im excited to meet the kids this week!!

no pressure tagging my sillies: @carniferous @grimsneverendingfuneral @theapocryphaofantares @sommerregenjuniluft @itsjaywalkers @veryinnovative

[lady-manfredi]

"So our old team is really gone?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately." responded Barney, voice laced with regret and guilt.

"So that's all you've got now?" Doc followed up, meaning you and the guys.

"Yeah." "Might wanna thank the guys. And her. She's the one who helped me find you." Barney added, pointing straight at you as you helped the guys load up onto the plane.

When he laid eyes on you, Doc's jaw dropped and it took him a moment to speak again.

"Sweet mother of God"..."I must be dead and in heaven, cause I'm looking at an angel".

Barney snorted at his remark, a sense of pride washing over him. "Careful, Doc. She's spoken for" he warned.

"What? You?" Doc teased, his tone full of disbelief.

"Yeah. Me. So don't try anything funny."

"Me? You know I'd never.."

"Sure you would, Casanova."

[garahrst]

MERRY CHRISTMAS AAAAAAAAAA (≧∇≦)

[ficmesideways]

Request for Anonymous Gif source: Lee

Imagine you and Lee can't wait for your honeymoon and sneaking off in the middle of your reception to have sex.

------- Imagine -------

“Where are we going?” You asked, laughing as Lee dragged you behind him. You had been in the middle of your wedding reception, dancing and singing happily to the music with your friends when Lee had suddenly taken your hand and pulled you away.

“Just a minute. I know I saw…here.” He said stopping suddenly to open a random door. He pulled you inside after him and then closed the door before a small overhead light you assumed he turned on, glared to life. Blinking at the sudden light, your eyes took a second to adjust before you were able to look around and realize he had pulled you into a coat closet.

“Lee what are we…” You didn’t get to finish your sentence as his mouth swallowed your words in a rough and passionate kiss. You felt yourself moved back until you were pressed against the coats. His hands moved then, reaching to down to grab at the tulle, silk, and lace surrounding your legs. Smiling and gripping his face in your hand you returned the kiss fervently before pulling back. “You could have just said.” You whispered smiling.

“Now where’s the fun in that.” He replied before you pulled him back to you.

+

Years later you would still never hear the end of the jokes on how you and Lee had disappeared from your own wedding for over two hours before finally returning with your dress and hair askew.

[darknessandasong]

his grin...

[jamgoesart]

Now on Wattpad

Reading sample

》

Restless, Sierra began to twitch, toss and turn, until a few minutes later she woke up with a scream of "No. It took her a few seconds to realize that everything was okay. A nightmare. Again. The recurring nightmare.

Breathing heavily, Sierra sat up and looked around. Everything was fine, she was sitting in her car. Apparently, she had spent half the day there again. It was not uncommon for her to spend the night and the rest of the day in the car, even though she had her own apartment. She spent most of her time in the car anyway, because that's how she made a living. As a "blocker" or "stopper" or on courier runs.

"How long is this going to haunt me?" an exhausted Sierra ran her hands through her hair and then rubbed her face with her hands, "A year."

A damn year it had been. So she wouldn't get rid of it so fast, Sierra thought and shook her head. Very slowly she straightened up, stretched until she heard her neck crack, and just stared for a while through the windshield, where the sun was about to set. It was time to get back to her apartment. A nice hot shower and something to eat would do wonders sometimes, and not to forget to pack some new, fresh clothes.

"It's still a little early," Sierra answered the incoming call, turning up her ringer as she drove through the city, "What are you really up to?"

"Not today. We're meeting in Atlanta in four days. "In the background, Sierra heard a few people arguing, but not about what. "Man, I'm on it....sorry, Gen. What did you say?"

"I'm leaving," Sierra skipped the question and parked her car in the driveway, "Anything interesting?"

"No, not really," as if, Sierra thought, because Marko wouldn't call me for nothing, "Just get to Atlanta as soon as you can. Call me when you get there and I'll meet you in Centennial Park. Atlanta. Not Nashville, not Toronto. Atlanta."

"Got it," Sierra interrupted Marko and just hung up.

Back at the apartment, Sierra went straight to the bathroom, took a shower and packed a bag with new clothes. Then she went to the kitchen, grabbed a sandwich from the fridge and went back to the car. She hadn't eaten in two days, she realized now, and only now did she realize how hungry she really was. After opening the driver's door and falling into the seat, she took a bite of her sandwich, which was just about to expire, and looked down the street.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

"Barney Ross," an older man greeted his old friend as he walked up to him, "How long has it been?"

"Too long," Barney greeted his old friend Bonaparte, "How's life in Vegas?"

"It's nice here.... Don't distract me," Bonaparte smiled, "You came to Vegas to visit a friend for a reason. What can I do for you?"

"Same old thing," Barney replied, taking a swig from his beer bottle, "I'm looking for a team."

"A new team?", confused, Bonaparte looked at his long-time friend, for this was not Barney's style, "What happened to the old one?"

■

Suspiciously, Barney looked around, trying to figure out why Atlanta of all places. In the middle of the night, mind you. That 'we're meeting at a little after ten' didn't exactly make everything look right, but that wasn't the problem. Some of the things the Expendables did were beyond the law. After all, there were mercenaries for such tasks.

For now, no need to worry, just wait and see, Bonaparte told his friend as the two men walked down the street, stopping when a group of cars came into view. A possible candidate, but to Barney it was just a couple of kids with cars, causing Bonaparte to let out a chuckle.

"I hope this kid isn't a bust like the last one," but Bonaparte started to shake his head at Barney's words, "What else was he supposed to be? Ex-Navi?"

"Surely no one could have guessed that his resume wasn't entirely kosher," Bonaparte defended himself, pointing at the people gathered about twenty meters away from them, "You'll like my current candidate, and so will Christmas. But only if he can handle the competition, of course."

"He can't," Barney replied evenly, one corner of his mouth turned up, knowing his long-time competitor and friend very well, "What makes you think Christmas can?"

"Knives," was all the explanation that came from Bonaparte.

Three young men, in their early to mid-twenties, walked over from their cars to a blond boy and handed him a bundle each; the boys nodded at each other and a few words were exchanged.

"So," interjected a brunette girl who had slammed the car door and hurried across the street as if it were too late, "what's up?"

"Gen," the brunette was greeted by the blonde, and they both clenched their fists, "the usual. Two hundred meters off the main road."

An all clear followed, the brunette nodding in agreement as she walked back to her car, started the engine and drove off.

The rest of the small crowd began to cheer as eight people walked to their cars, got in, and drove to the makeshift starting line, which consisted of tape on the ground. Those who had been standing in the street cleared the way and the blond walked to the red line to give the starting signal. As he dropped the flag on the ground, the cars sped off, their engines roaring.

When Barney asked which of the people present they were both here for, Bonaparte simply took his little book out of his pocket, flipped through it, and then put it back in his pocket. No answer, great, Barney thought, and let it go for now. As the people ran forward and began to cheer, Bonaparte tapped his friend on the shoulder and motioned for him to follow.

Both men stood in the crowd to get a better look at who would return first. A dark green car was heading straight for the finish line; the distance to the others was a good car length, but Bonaparte pointed to the opposite side of the street where the brunette's matte black car came to a stop.

"La Santa," Bonaparte said, with Barney in tow, approaching the brunette who was just getting out of her car to join the group, "La Santa Muerte."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," the brown-haired woman replied coolly, only giving them a quick glance.

"Sierra Génesis Salamanca," was Bonaparte's reply, causing the brown-haired girl to stop, nod, and turn around with a panting, miss brave look, "Why not? Don Emiliano's little darling."

"What do you want?" replied Sierra, whose voice had become weaker than it had been a minute ago, "or much more from my father?"

To offer you a job. Not a deal, not a business deal, but a job, and for you. Not your father.

[transingthoseformers]

... actually, considering "Play hard, Get Hard", there's a non zero chance Optimus and Megatron fucked in one of Shockwave's old abandoned labs.