#the exes getting back together thing is SUCH a good trope i live for that shit and it's definitely under-utilized imho

[queenerdloser]

okay i finally gave in and started welcome to samdal-ri after like months of having netflix rec it to me and i'm mad bc they were so right, it's EXACTLY my cup of tea. very close friend group who loves each other? check. childhood friends to lovers to exes getting back together? fucking check. tooth-aching fluff? check. two guys simping for the main girl who's talented and cool? check. my god. it's like they put everything i like in a blender and made a tv show geared directly to give me serotonin.

[witchywithwhiskey]

the alpha next door

pairing: alpha!steve rogers x omega!female reader

summary: you and your neighbor are harboring feelings for each other, but both of you think the other is too sweet. then, things take a turn when your first heat since moving in hits, revealing the depth of your feelings for the alpha next door—and his for you.

warnings: 18+ content (minors dni!!!), omegaverse AU tropes (heats, knots, purring, mating, scenting), piv sex, breeding kink/pregnancy kink (reader's on birth control tho), accidental voyeurism, masturbation (m + f), dirty talk, praise kink, daddy kink, little bit of mommy kink, size kink, pet names (baby), mutual pining, idiots in love, dual pov

word count: 8.9k

a/n: here's my entry for @stargazingfangirl18 and @labella420's Cum Together Extravaganza!!! i used the A/B/O AU and breeding kink prompts—and this is my very first omegaverse fic!!! so uhhh please be kind because i don't know what i'm doing 😅 also loosely inspired by "too sweet" by hozier!! anyway, this ended up a lot longer than i thought it would be....whoops!! hope y'all enjoy!!!

When you first moved into the little pink cottage next door, Steve Rogers decided that you were too sweet for an ex-soldier alpha like him. An omega like you was filled with sunshine and gentleness, and you deserved an alpha who would treat you like the precious thing you were. 

The kindest thing Steve could do for you was stay away. The thoughts you inspired in his alpha hindbrain had him hating the rough and greedy animal side of himself. He wanted to dig his fingers into your plush hips and bend you over, make you present your pretty little body in the way the alpha in him craved. 

But he reminded himself you were too sweet. Too sweet for the obscene thoughts that plagued his mind. Too sweet to be defiled by a big alpha like him. Too sweet to be swollen and round and glowing because you were carrying his child…

Still, you were his neighbor and Steve couldn’t avoid you entirely, even though everything he saw only reaffirmed his belief that you were too good for him. 

The little pink cottage beside his house had come with a front garden filled with pink roses and all manner of other pink flowers that Steve couldn’t even begin to name, but you tended to them like you’d planted them yourself. Steve would get home from work, park his truck in his driveway—which had a perfect view of your front garden. He’d watch you from behind his tinted windows as you took care of your flowers, looking like a garden fairy come to life.

When Steve eventually grew uncomfortable with how long he’d been watching you, he would get out of his truck and call a gruff hello to you as he made his way inside. Your melodic voice returning his greeting would follow him into his house, where he’d close his door and lean against it, panting like he’d just escaped a warzone while his cock strained against his jeans. But Steve wouldn’t stoop to jerking himself off to the thought of you—at least not while you were just outside. 

On weekends, Steve would work in his backyard, mowing the grass and tending to the shrubs that ran along the line separating his property from yours. When the weather was nice and pleasantly warm, you would sit out on your small back porch, curled up in a wicker chair reading some book or another.

Steve would offer to mow your lawn, just for an excuse to stay outside longer, and be a little bit closer to you. You’d let him, and thank him for his efforts by giving him some ice cold lemonade, smiling up at him while he drank it. Steve wasn’t the least bit surprised the lemonade was more sweet than tart. 

As the weeks and months passed since you’d moved in, Steve couldn’t help but feel his desire for you growing, becoming a living thing curling around his heart, making it beat for you. You were the sweetest and prettiest omega he’d ever met, and he’d be lucky to be your alpha, but he kept his distance, certain you could do better than him.

That is, until your first heat after moving in next door changed everything.

That was when Steve learned you were far more than the innocent little omega he’d determined you to be—you were a creature of sex and desire, made to take an alpha’s knot and be pumped full of come in the hopes that their seed would take root in your womb. When your heat hit fully, your keening wails echoed from your cottage, and they were a siren song that called directly to Steve’s alpha heart.

But he kept himself away. After all, there were polite ways of going about these things, and he’d never even asked you out on a date, so he certainly wasn’t going to assume you wanted his help to get you through your heat. Besides, you hadn’t asked for him to join you, anyway.

That didn’t stop Steve from keeping an eye on you, though.

He’d noticed the slight change in your scent a few days before your heat truly set in, his cock reacting even more to your perfect omega body than normal. Steve felt like he was walking around with a constant bulge in his pants after getting a single whiff of your scent, but he ignored the niggling feeling telling him he needed to be close to you and did his best to hide his reaction. He knew you had other things to worry about than the comfort of the alpha next door. 

Even though something in him compelled him to go to you, Steve couldn’t bring himself to walk over to your cottage. It occurred to him that even if you didn’t want him to help you through your heat, he could offer to go to the store to get the food and provisions you’d need. But he didn’t. He was worried about what he’d do if he looked into your home and saw your nest and smelled your sweet perfume. 

So Steve kept his distance, watching you from his truck and the windows of his house as you brought home a week’s worth of provisions—protein bars and sports drinks that would keep you nourished enough to make it through your heat. Steve wished he could carry the heavy-looking bags into your home, but his cock was pitching a tent in his sweatpants, and he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with the way his alpha body reacted to your omega scent. 

Finally, as your heat drew closer, you locked up your cottage, closing all the windows and drawing all the curtains. Steve couldn’t help but notice, though, that you left the skylight in your bedroom cracked open a tiny bit. Steve’s alpha hindbrain itched at the thought that you’d only left it open because you couldn’t close it yourself, and he had to hold himself back from going over to your cottage to offer to close it.

Steve knew omegas liked to keep their nests dark and warm and locked up tight. They wanted to keep all the scents created during a heat trapped in their nest, at least until their heat broke. So it was curious that you’d left the skylight open, even a little bit. 

But when your heat hit in earnest that evening, your pitiful whimpers and desperate moans filtering through the open window and directly to Steve’s ears—through the window of his bedroom that he’d thrown open the moment he’d heard you—he forgot about what omegas typically wanted. Instead, all the blood in his body rushed to his cock, making him harder than he’d ever been in his life. 

Steve stood at the window of his bedroom, which overlooked your cottage, his eyes glazing over as he listened to you pant and whine and cry out for an alpha that wasn’t coming. Because of course Steve had noticed that no alpha had arrived to help you through your heat. He assumed you were using any number of the toys that were sold precisely to help unmated omegas get through their heats without an alpha’s help. 

But it meant you were alone, in your nest, riding out your heat on some silicone knot. That thought nearly made Steve storm from his house and barge into your cottage to demand you let him help you, but he reminded himself you were too sweet, too sweet, too sweet for him. So instead, he fisted his cock and listened to your raspy pleas fill the night sky.

“Need your knot, alpha, oh god, please,” you babbled, your voice beautifully melodic to Steve even when you were desperately begging for something he knew he shouldn’t give you. “Fill me up, daddy, I need it—need your knot, alpha—daddy, daddy, alpha, please, please, please!” Your moans grew louder and Steve could only imagine the thick silicone knot that was filling you up the way he should be filling you.

One of Steve’s hands gripped the frame of his window tightly, using the feel of the wood digging into his palm to keep himself grounded as he physically fought with his alpha instincts. He wanted to break into your cottage and rip your toys away from you so he could help you through your heat. Like he was meant to. It should be him inside you, sinking into your warm, welcoming cunt while you looked up at him with those beautiful eyes of yours.

Steve’s other hand gripped his cock, pumping his hard, stiff length with a fist so tight, it was nearly punishing. It helped a little, but his fist was a far cry from your perfect cunt, which would be gushing with wetness and so hot, Steve would feel like he was sinking into heaven and hell at the same time. And when he came, it wouldn’t be anywhere near as satisfying as emptying his balls right against your cervix, pumping your womb full of his seed while knot locked your bodies together so it would be almost certain he’d knock you up. 

That is, if you weren’t on birth control. Which most unmated omegas were, Steve reminded himself.

Still, the alpha in him was a beast barely caged—he wanted to breed you. 

Steve wanted to see you impaled on his cock and his knot, so bloated from how full you were with his come that he could see it in the way your belly bulged, giving a preview of what you’d look like growing with his child. He wanted to knock you up, he wanted to see you swollen and round with his pup. 

He wanted to keep fucking you even as you carried his child, watching you bounce on his knot, your tits swollen with milk and your belly big and round while he tried to fill your womb with another before you’d even popped out the first. Steve wanted to keep you pregnant all the time, your pretty little omega body always ripe and swollen with his pups, taking his knot and his come every moment of the day so he could make sure you were always glowing with the radiance of motherhood.

It was that image of you—beautiful and knocked up, your eyes hazy with pleasure that came only from being impaled on his cock, and being locked on his knot—that made Steve come. 

He grunted as the pleasure of his fist and his thoughts of you finally became too much, wrapping both his hands around his thick length, one squeezing his knot while the other pumped the rest of his shaft. His come erupted from the tip, streaming over the windowsill and dripping down to his bare feet on the wooden floor of his bedroom.

A growl tore from Steve’s lips while he came, a deep, dark part of his alpha hindbrain responding furiously to the fact that he was wasting his seed. He should be emptying his balls deep in your fertile cunt while your slick walls gripped his knot and milked every drop of his seed into your womb, where it belonged. 

Steve’s release seemed to last for ages, longer than he’d ever experienced before, and if it wasn’t for the fact that his head finally started to clear when it abated, he would’ve been worried he’d gone into rut. But finally, Steve surfaced from the depths of his pleasure, and winced when he remembered the thoughts that had made him come.

Steve was appalled by the direction in which his imagination had gone, and felt guilty for imagining you in such a state as pregnant and bouncing on his cock—even as the reminder made his cock leak one last spurt of his release. Cursing and castigating himself, Steve moved away from the window to clean himself up and wipe down the spot where he’d been standing. 

The entire time he was cleaning up after himself, Steve felt off-balance. He’d never felt such a pull toward an omega before you, and he’d never been so close to going into rut just from listening to an omega whimper and moan. If he didn’t know better, he would think you were his mate—the one omega in the whole world who was perfect for him. 

But Steve pushed that thought aside and reminded himself you were too sweet for an alpha like him. You might’ve sounded desperate and needy while you suffered through your heat alone, but you deserved better than an alpha who could think of nothing else besides pumping you full of come and knocking you up with his child.

Steve felt disturbed all over again when he thought of the vivid, obscene things he’d imagined while he’d jerked himself off. He’d never been the type of alpha to get off on the idea of breeding, let alone pictured anyone swollen with his kid while they were impaled on his cock. Steve felt so far out of his depth, he swiped his clean hand down his face to try to regain the equilibrium that had been shattered by your pretty omega sounds.

Thankfully, you’d gone blessedly quiet at some point when Steve had been coming all over his windowsill. He tossed the rag he’d used to clean up his mess into the laundry and flopped down on his bed, knowing he wouldn’t be getting any rest that night. It was a good thing he’d called out of work on heat leave.

Even as Steve lay in his bed, the refrain that you were too sweet for him repeating in his mind, he couldn’t help hoping that you were getting some much-needed rest. He’d never been one to worry over much about whether someone was sleeping or eating, but he wondered if you’d had a protein bar and drank a sports drink before falling asleep. He knew you needed to keep up your strength if you’d make it through your heat. 

His thoughts spinning around in his mind, Steve fell into a light, fitful sleep, his alpha hindbrain remaining alert and attuned to the sounds coming from your cottage. Little did he know, it wouldn’t be long before everything would change. Something would happen that would force Steve to finally give in to the connection between him and the omega next door.

When you woke on the second morning of your heat, it was to a burning need cutting through your core, urging you to roll onto your knees and sink down on the silicone knot toy that had slipped from your pussy while you slept. Unbidden, the face of the alpha next door, Steve Rogers, popped into your mind and you sobbed through another wave of aching desire, wishing desperately that he was with you to help you through your heat.

You hadn’t met the alpha until after you’d moved into the little pink cottage next door to his much larger home, and you were instantly smitten with the former soldier. He was big—so much bigger than you—with broad shoulders and bulging biceps that were barely hidden beneath the tight t-shirts he always seemed to wear. But it was Steve’s thighs that were always so distracting to you, so thick they made you want to ride them until your slick was drenching his jeans.

A pitiful moan fell from your lips as you reached between your thighs, grasping blindly for the toy you’d discarded in your sleep. With your face still shoved into a pillow and sleep still clinging to the edges of your consciousness, you slid down on the thick silicone cock, pretending it belonged to Steve. 

The alpha next door was just so…sweet. 

It hadn’t taken you long after moving into your cottage to learn your neighbor’s schedule, and you made sure to always be working in the garden in front of your home when he got back from work. You lived for the growly greetings he would call to you, and the faint blush that would graze his cheekbones, like he was shy around you, his harmless omega neighbor. 

And on the weekends, when you knew Steve wasn’t working, you sat on your back porch reading—though you were more often ogling the fit alpha’s shoulders and arms as he worked in his backyard. The sun would shine on Steve’s blond hair and make him look like a golden god, with sparkling blue eyes that would occasionally flick in your direction, though you didn’t think he was really looking at you.

Of course, when he’d offer to mow your lawn, you’d let him. Then, to show the alpha your thanks, you’d make him some nice refreshing lemonade. If that meant you could watch him quench his thirst while you imagined his sweet mouth on your body, drinking your slick as eagerly as he drank your lemonade, then that was just a bonus to being a good neighbor. Right?

It had become abundantly clear to you that you harbored a crush on Steve, and it was nearly excruciating living next to him when he didn’t seem interested in making a move on his omega neighbor. After all, it had been months, and he’d been nothing but friendly and respectful and sweet. 

It was obvious, at least to you, that Steve was too sweet for you—too sweet to be the rough, dominant alpha you craved. Too sweet to bend you over and impale you on his thick cock with one stroke. Too sweet to shove his knot into your cunt and make you come so hard you saw stars. Too sweet to knock you up over and over again, filling up that big house of his with pups that you’d created together. 

You’d told yourself it was for the best that Steve kept his distance. If he couldn’t be what you needed, then you didn’t want your crush to develop into unrequited feelings. But your heart didn’t listen, so you kept putting yourself in situations where you’d get to see your neighbor—working in your front garden when he got home, sitting on your back porch while he was in his backyard. 

Then, you began to feel your heat coming on, and your thoughts about the alpha next door only worsened. It wasn’t uncommon anymore for unmated omegas to ask alpha friends or acquaintances to help them through their heats, but the prospect of asking Steve for his help, getting to come all over his knot for days on end, and then trying to go back to the way things were sounded torturous. 

Instead, you went about your heat preparations as you always did, gathering supplies from the grocery store and stocking up the minifridge in your bedroom with sports drinks while you piled your bedside table high with protein bars. You closed and locked all the doors and windows of your cottage, drawing the curtains tight to keep out the sun. 

You knew you were a bit of an odd omega, and you didn’t like total darkness in your nest, which was why you had been the only one interested in the little cottage. It had a skylight in the bedroom that any other omega would want closed and covered during their heat. The window itself was covered in a film that dampened most of the direct  sunlight and you enjoyed the natural light, even when you were deep in your heat, so it was perfect for you.

It occurred to you, as you were preparing your room, that if you cracked open the skylight, the sounds you made during your heat would filter out from your cottage. Your desperate cries for a knot might even be heard by the alpha next door…

Later, you’d blame your decision to leave the skylight open on the dangerous combination of your pre-heat brain and the exquisite agony of your crush on Steve. But by that time, the little decision you’d made in the urgency of your heat preparations would’ve irrevocably changed your life—for the better—and you wouldn’t give a thought to regretting what you’d done.

Still, on that second morning of your heat, when you were woken by the need to be knotted and flooded with come, you didn’t even remember that you’d decided to leave the skylight open. So you had no idea whether it was working or not, whether Steve could hear you—but he wasn’t far from your thoughts as you rode your silicone alpha toy, trying to slake the need that burned through your body. 

Your heats were always a little hazy, like most omega’s, with desire and need pounding through your blood so insistently, you couldn’t form any coherent thoughts. Your mind could only focus on getting a cock inside you, then a knot and, if you’d had an alpha to help you, the gush of their come. Since you were so mindless, you uttered words that you’d forgotten the second they fell from your lips.

The first night of your heat, when you’d had a moment of clear-headedness enough to gulp down a sports drink and scarf a protein bar, you’d hoped you hadn’t cried out anything that would embarrass you—like Steve’s name. You’d had a vague memory of calling out for an alpha, which was normal for an unmated omega, and a daddy, which was normal for you, given your desires when you weren’t going through your heat. But you’d breathed a sigh of relief when you didn’t remember calling out for Steve specifically. 

You couldn’t imagine what would happen if you cried out Steve’s name while in heat. But you were about to find out.

The silicone toy in your cunt wasn’t cutting it. It had been just fine that first night, though you hadn’t felt as satisfied as you normally did, and you hadn’t slept as long as you typically did in between waves of your heat. Something about this heat felt different. You weren’t just desperate for an alpha’s knot and come, you wanted more…

You wanted a pup. You wanted an alpha’s cock shoved deep in your cunt, unloading their come against your cervix, filling your womb with a seed that would take and knock you up. You wanted to be bred—and not just by any alpha. You wanted the alpha next door to breed you.

Steve. You wanted Steve. You needed Steve. 

“Please,” you gasped, the word leaving your lips as you thought of your big, sweet alpha neighbor. His face came easily to your mind, those sparkling blue eyes and soft lips, that strong jaw and the way a blush turned his cheeks the most perfect shade of pink. “Please, alpha, need your knot, need your come,” you whined, speaking to the image of Steve in your mind.

You pushed yourself up onto your knees, grabbing one of the many pillows from your bed and shoving it between your thighs, forcing the silicone alpha cock deeper into your cunt. Still, it wasn’t enough, even as you tried to make due. 

You rocked your hips, trying to replicate the feeling of fucking yourself on an alpha’s cock, but it paled in comparison. A desperate whine worked its way up your throat, filling your room and slipping from the skylight into the morning air.

“Please, daddy, wanna have your baby,” you cried, your hands going to your tits and tugging on your nipples so roughly, pleasure and pain swirled through your body, creating a tornado of sensation that only fed the need burning in your core. “Wan’ you to knock me up, alpha, wanna give you pups, wan’ you to suck on my milky tits while you fuck me, daddy.” You groped your breasts, pinching your nipples like you were milking yourself, the sensations making your cunt gush slick all over the toy inside you. 

The pleasure was gathering in your core, making you more desperate to reach the pinnacle of your climax. Your hips worked, humping the pillow and cock between your thighs, shoving yourself down against the knot at the base of the toy, knowing it was what you needed to come, but your pussy was still too tight to take it. 

“Oh god, I need it, alpha, I need it, I need it,” you babbled mindlessly, fucking yourself furiously on the toy and still wishing it was Steve’s cock. 

You pictured him beneath you, his cheeks tinged pink, not with a blush, but with the flush of his desire for you, his blue eyes nearly black from his pupils blowing wide as he stared up at you. His soft mouth parted as he groaned, his thick cock buried in your tight cunt, twitching as you squeezed him.

It was with that image in your mind that the fateful words spilled from your lips. You cried out desperately, “Knock me up, daddy, gimme your pup, please—please, breed me, Steve!” 

So close to the edge of your release, you barely heard the distant crashing sound that echoed between your little cottage and the house that belonged to the alpha next door. All you heard were your gasping breaths and mindless moans, the toy shoving into your cunt making low squelching noises that only managed to turn you on more. 

It was only when a much closer smashing sound preceded the swirl of cool morning air infiltrating your home, and flooding into your nest, that you were able to drag your attention away from your own desperate frustration. Your omega instincts were going haywire, part of you telling you something was wrong, while another part unfurled and shifted, like a flower blooming toward the sun. 

Blinking your eyes to clear away the haze of your heat, your mouth fell open in an ‘o’ of surprise at the sight of the alpha in your bedroom doorway. 

Steve’s big body filled the doorway, his hands clutching the wooden frame while his chest heaved with heavy breaths. It looked like he was trying to hold himself back, his grip so tight on your doorframe that a distant part of your mind worried it might splinter beneath his palms. But you couldn’t think too closely about that, not when your neighbor was staring at you with a crazed look in his eyes, like he wanted to fill you with his knot as badly as you wanted to be filled.

Your too sweet alpha neighbor’s mouth—which was normally curved in a soft, friendly smile—was twisted with ferocious lust, and when he spoke, his voice was a rough growl like nothing you’d ever heard from Steve. 

“Invite me into your bed,” he rumbled, the order clear in his voice even if he didn’t use his alpha command. “Ask me to help you through your heat, tell me you want me here,” he went on through clenched teeth, an edge of desperation in his tone that called your heart—and your cunt. “Tell me you want me, omega.” His fingers gripped the doorframe tighter, and you heard the wood creak beneath his strength. 

Your pussy spasmed and your heart lurched when Steve called you by your designation, but it was when his scent hit you that you felt something inside your being shift and lock into place. Steve smelled like home—like safety and security and love. He smelled like a future of wrangling children together and making love together and sitting on a porch swing together and growing old together. 

In that moment, you knew what your instincts had known from the moment you met Steve—he was your mate. He was the one alpha in all the world who was meant for you, just as you were the omega meant for him. And once you knew that, it was the easiest thing in the world to part your lips and beg him to join you in your nest, in your bed, and help you through your heat.

“Please, Steve—please, mate, please help me,” you begged, your voice breathy with need and excitement, tears of joy shining in your eyes. 

Something shifted in Steve’s expression when you called him your mate. You watched as he took a deep breath, scenting you the way you had him. A riot of emotions swirled in those beautiful blue eyes of his—disbelief, acknowledgement, acceptance, satisfaction, pride. You saw the moment he realized what you’d only just discovered, a smile flickering at the corner of his mouth.

“My omega, my mate,” Steve growled, finally letting go of the doorframe and launching himself at you.

Finally—finally—Steve was coming to you, closing the distance between you, and you’d never been happier in all your life. The alpha next door was your mate, and you hoped that meant he would be more than willing to knock you up and breed you like you needed.

Steve had woken from his fitful sleep to the sound of your sweet cries that morning, though they sounded much more desperate to his ears. He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination or not, but you sounded less than satisfied with whatever toy you were using and Steve slid a hand down to his already hard cock, thinking you should’ve been riding him instead of some silicone dick.

He’d lazily stroked his cock, trying to restrain himself from coming all over his stomach, while listening to your increasingly desperate cries. Steve had fisted a hand in the sheets of his bed, hoping it would be enough to hold himself back from storming over to your cottage and taking your heat into his own hands. 

Then, Steve heard you cry out his name and something in him snapped. Before he even knew what he was doing, he’d thrown on some boxer briefs and stormed out of his bedroom, leaping down the stairs and throwing open the front door of his house so ferociously, he’d ripped it off some of the hinges. 

Not even caring that he was leaving his door open, Steve charged over to your cottage, taking a little bit more care with your front door when he broke the lock and pushed it open, flinging it closed behind him. He knew it was likely stuck closed thanks to the broken lock, but Steve only cared that it would prevent anyone else from getting into your home. He’d deal with getting out later. Much later.

Finally, Steve got to the doorway of your bedroom, your nest, and he’d stumbled to a stop at the sight that lay before him.

You were perched in the center of your big bed, a pillow wedged between your thighs, the knot of a toy barely visible while you humped futilely on the fake cock. Your delicate fingers groped your tits, squeezing your soft flesh and pinching your nipples like you were milking yourself—that thought making even more blood rush to Steve’s cock. Desperate whimpers and whines fell from your lips, more pleas to be knocked up and filled with pups, and they were nearly his undoing.

At the last second, Steve gripped the doorframe, holding himself back from pouncing on you, as he tried to remember why he shouldn’t be there. You were an unmated omega, in heat, and he hadn’t gotten permission to be in your nest, let alone help you through your heat. And you were too sweet for him…

God, you looked sweet, though. Sweet enough that Steve’s mouth watered with the thought of how slick you were, how good you would taste on his tongue. Even from the doorway, he could see the way your wetness had soaked the pillow between your thighs. He wanted to taste you, to scent you, he wanted you. 

Steve was seconds away from launching himself at you when your gaze finally landed on him. It was the delighted surprise in your eyes that urged him to ground out a desperate plea for consent to enter your room and help you through your heat. Blessedly, you seemed coherent enough to answer—but you didn’t only answer and beg for his help, you called him your mate.

That word struck a chord in Steve’s chest, his heart pounding even harder at the impossible prospect that you were his mate—that you were meant to be his. But he took a deep breath, taking in the scent of you and opening himself up to the possibility that you were his. 

You even smelled sweet, like the pink roses in your front garden—or, rather, the peace Steve felt when he came home to find you tending to your flowers. You smelled like the warmth of a gentle fire and the giddiness of butterfly kisses. You smelled like life, like the time unfurling before the two of you, years and decades spent with each other, making each other happy. 

It was as if Steve truly came alive for the first time when he scented you, and the last tether of the self-restraint holding him back from you snapped. 

“My omega, my mate,” he rumbled in a low purr, a voice he’d never even heard himself use before. But he didn’t have time to think about that too closely—he only knew he needed to get to you. 

As quickly as he could, Steve surged into your room, tearing off his boxer briefs—the only clothing he’d had the presence of mind to put on, and he was thankful for it, since it saved him the grief of a public indecency charge—in the few steps it took to get to your bed.

By the time Steve tackled you into the tangle of blankets and pillows, he was naked as the day he was born, his cock throbbing with need and brushing against swaths of your soft, bare skin, leaving his precum behind. The alpha cradled your body in his strong arms as he rolled you beneath him, his narrow hips slotting perfectly between your plush thighs, his hard length resting against your mound. 

But there was something in his way, something that shouldn’t be inside you and Steve couldn’t help but growl, “Get that fucking toy out of my cunt, ‘mega.” He softened the fury in his voice with light, fleeting kisses to your cheeks and temple and forehead, greedy to taste the sweetness of your skin.

“Yes, alpha,” you gasped, fumbling between your bodies to wrench the silicone dick from your tight hole. 

The sweet submission in your voice was too much for Steve—he had to taste it. Slanting his lips to yours, Steve kissed you for the first time, groaning into your mouth at the wondrous feeling of your mouth beneath his. You tasted better than you smelled, like radiant sunshine bursting on his tongue and casting a golden glow over his entire body. 

Deepening the kiss, Steve plundered your mouth, stroking his tongue against yours and nipping at your lips until you were gasping and panting beneath him. Your entire body trembled with unslaked need, your fingers clinging to his bulging biceps as you cried out for him, all of which stroked Steve’s alpha ego so much, his cock twitched and leaked against your belly.

“Please, Steve—daddy—alpha—I need you inside me,” you wailed in a broken voice and Steve’s instincts took over.

He shifted his hips back, the tip of his cock finding your slick hole and he pushed forward, sinking his hard length into your cunt with one thrust. Steve’s entire world realigned, his heart stuttering in his chest at the feeling of your tight heat consuming him, overwhelming him. An animalistic groan left his lips, and he buried the sound in your neck, breathing in your scent as he tried not to come immediately.

With Steve’s cock finally buried inside you, he felt your body relax beneath him, your moan of pleasure dissolving into a sigh of relief. Steve’s hindbrain felt a deep satisfaction at the way you melted in his arms, your submission to him apparent in the loosening of your muscles. Finding your lips again, Steve kissed you sweetly, cherishing the moment of calm before your heat urged the two of you to move.

“Thank you, alpha,” you whispered, your voice soft and blissful and the most content Steve had heard it since your heat began in earnest the day before. “The toys weren’t working.” You pressed a kiss to Steve’s cheek on your way to burying your face in the crook of his neck, breathing so deeply he could hear your inhale, making his cock twitch in the depths of your pussy. 

Then, your words pierced through the haze of pleasure in Steve’s mind and he purred, smiling into your neck when you relaxed further beneath him, responding to him.

“You needed your mate, didn’t you, baby?” Steve cooed, lavishing your neck with kisses until you were whining and squirming beneath him. “Needed your daddy to pound your needy little cunt like only your alpha could, huh?” He started rolling his hips in tight circles, grinding into your cunt, his knot rubbing your clit in a way that had you clenching deliciously around him. “Needed me to pump your sweet little womb full of come, huh, needed me to give you a pup?” 

As soon as the heated words fell from Steve’s lips, he wished he could take them back. He’d heard you beg him to breed you, but that was when you were riding a silicone alpha dick, not when you were seconds away from taking Steve’s knot. 

Mentally, Steve chastised himself for letting his mouth run away from him so soon. He’d barely gotten his cock in you and he was already talking about knocking you up. He didn’t want you to think he was that kind of alpha, one that only wanted an omega to pump out babies for him—even though the thought did make Steve rock hard.

“Sorry, ‘mega,” Steve mumbled, shifting his arms beneath your body so he could cradle your head in one hand, holding you still while he rocked his hips into yours, kissing your cheek and jaw and neck and anywhere he could reach. 

“Sorry for what?” you asked on a gasp, hooking your legs around Steve’s sides and clinging to him so you could grind on his thick cock. 

Thankfully, you didn’t seem turned off or scared by Steve’s breeding talk. If anything, the way you arched your spine and shoved your cunt down on his dick made him think you liked it. But surely that couldn’t be true.

“Didn’t mean to mention pups so soon,” Steve said gruffly, hiding his face in your neck so you wouldn’t see the blush that he knew was turning his cheeks pink. 

“Oh god,” you moaned, your cunt squeezing Steve’s cock as your body writhed beneath his. “Wanna give you so many pups, alpha,” you cried, humping up from beneath Steve’s big body, riding his cock harder than you’d been riding your toy when he’d walked in. 

Steve went cross-eyed at the assault on his senses. Between the perfect heat of your slick pussy gripping his cock, teasing his knot every time you rocked against him, and the sound of your sweet voice confessing you wanted him to knock you up, Steve’s body shuddered with the effort it took not slam his knot home and flood your womb with his seed to give you exactly what you wanted.

“You like that idea, huh?” Steve rumbled, hungry passion and desire coursing through his body and urging him to move faster, to fuck you harder. He pulled out of your fluttering pussy and slammed back inside, relishing the desperate cry that left your lips and the way your fingers dug into the muscles of his arms. “You like it when your alpha tells you how much he wants to breed you?” 

Despite his best efforts, Steve could hear the thread of insecurity in his question, and he wasn’t surprised when you cupped his face and moved his head up so you could look into his eyes. What he didn’t expect was the sheer amount of pleasure and desire in your hazy gaze, or the mixture of sweetness and depravity in the little smirk you gave him.

“I do, daddy,” you said, your voice breathy but no less firm in your resolve. “I want to hear everything you’ve thought about doing to your little omega—want you to breed me, alpha.” 

Everything else in the world melted away as Steve focused on you—his omega, his mate—and the fact that he was going to try his damndest to give you what you wanted. After all, that was his duty as your alpha. You were his to take care of, to provide for, to protect, to cherish—to fuck and to knot. 

You were his to love—you were his to breed. And Steve planned on loving you and breeding you plenty.

You’d never felt anything so good as Steve sinking his thick alpha cock into your weeping cunt, and you nearly sobbed in relief as the edge of aching, burning need finally abated. This was what you needed—not a toy or any alpha’s cock, but your mate’s. Your body and omega instincts had known something was wrong, and it had taken a slip of your tongue to fix it. 

Even if it had been an accident to cry out Steve’s name, you couldn’t feel embarrassed about it, not when you finally felt something like satisfaction. The need of your heat still burned bright beneath your skin, but for a moment, you could revel in the feeling of being so intimately connected to your mate, your Steve—the alpha next door. 

The words of thanks had slipped past your lips before you could stop them, and you loved the teasing way he responded. But then you felt a shift in Steve. He’d seemed to feel guilty for mentioning pups, but even his apology turned you on, making your arousal burn hotter. Your body had been unable to still when you needed him so badly—needed to give him pups, needed to grow round with his child and know that he had claimed you in the most primal way possible. 

Your brain had short-circuited when Steve had said he wanted to breed you, but you’d still heard the anxiousness in his tone and you’d guided his head up so you could look at him. The uncertainty and guilt in Steve’s beautiful blue eyes nearly broke your heart. He was too sweet for words, wanting to make sure you were comfortable with even the words he said in the heat of the moment. 

Between one breath and the next, you fell in love with Steve Rogers. He wasn’t simply the alpha next door, he was your mate, and he was yours. A fierce possessiveness filled your chest as you smirked up at your alpha, determining to show him exactly how much you wanted everything he’d said.

“Want you to breed me, alpha,” you begged on a moan, your hips rising up off the bed to meet the brutal thrusts of your mate. “Fill me up with your pups, daddy, please, I need it!” You held Steve’s gaze, letting him see the pleasure on your face, hear the genuineness of your words. 

You saw the moment Steve’s insecurity and guilt melted into desire and determination. His blue eyes darkened and his face twisted into a mask of sinful resolve. He looked like a fallen god, with his golden hair and tanned skin, framed perfectly in the little bit of morning light filtering in through the skylight above your bed. Your pussy clenched around his cock, fluttering as he thrust inside you, teasing your hole with his knot.

“Don’t worry, ‘mega,” Steve rumbled, ducking down and capturing your lips in a sweet kiss that left you gasping for breath. He pressed his forehead to yours, staring deep into your eyes. “We’re making a baby today.”

“Yes, alpha,” you cried, spreading your legs wider in an effort to let Steve fuck you deeper. He grinned, shifting his hands to your thighs and pushing them up against your chest, folding you in half and pounding you into the bed. 

“Gonna fill up your perfect cunt with all the seed in my balls, and if it doesn’t take today, ‘m gonna fill you up until you’re overflowing with my come—until your belly’s bulging with it,” Steve growled, rutting into you with a ferociousness you never would’ve expected from your sweet alpha neighbor. But Steve’s sweetness was never far from the surface, and he proved it by lowering his voice to a deep rumble that you felt in your belly, asking, “Mm, ’s that what you want, baby, want daddy to give you a pup?”

You were pinned beneath Steve, his cock fucking you so hard, your room was filing with the wet squelching sounds of your soaking cunt and the sharp rhythm of your alpha’s thighs slapping against your own. But still, it was his words that seemed to have the most effect on you, turning you into a writhing, needy creature who’d only be satisfied when Steve emptied his balls deep in your cunt. 

“Yes, alpha,” you cried, your fingers clinging to Steve’s shoulders, digging into his warm, golden skin while he fucked you into oblivion. “Want you to knock me up, wanna give you a pup, wanna grow big and round with your child and feed you both from my milky tits,” you babbled, throwing your head back and screaming when Steve’s cock hit against your cervix, pleasure and pain swirling like an inferno in your body. “Please, daddy, god, I need it, I need it—knot me, breed, me, Steve, please!” 

“Baby,” Steve groaned, capturing your lips in another kiss while he rutted into you faster and harder, his knot pressing against your tight hole with every thrust and teasing you with the stretch of it. “You’re gonna get a pup, alright,” he growled when he pulled away, pressing his forehead to yours. “You’re gonna pop out a kid for me and then I’m gonna fill you right back up.” Steve moaned, his body shuddering and you knew he was close. “Wanna watch you bounce on my cock with your belly ripe and swollen with my pups, your tits heavy with milk—the prettiest mommy and mate an alpha could ask for.” 

“Steve,” you sobbed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to hold him close, kissing him and thrusting your hips up to meet his. “Please, make me a mommy, alpha—wanna be a mommy, please, daddy, daddy, please!” Then your lips were too preoccupied with Steve’s, kissing him messily in between desperate moans while he fucked you hard and fast. 

Finally, Steve pulled back and thrust forward with so much power, his knot pushed inside your tight cunt and you screamed in pleasure, the feeling of his thick bulge stretching your tight hole sending you over the edge into the most earth-shattering release you’d felt in your life. It was a transcendental experience, coming on your mate’s cock, your alpha surrounding you and filling you up in every way possible.

As your body squeezed Steve’s cock, he groaned loudly in your ear, burying his face in your neck while his hips stuttered against yours, trying to fuck you with his knot but unable to move because your bodies were locked so tightly together. Then, with a moan of, “my mate,” you felt the moment Steve began to come. His cock twitched deep inside your cunt, a warmth filling you as he shot rope after rope of come against your cervix, filling your womb.

For a long time, the two of you stayed locked together, riding out your releases in each other’s embrace. Giggles and moans filled the room, each of you kissing the other wherever you could reach while you basked in your pleasure together. You breathed in the scent of Steve, your lips dragging up and down the column of his throat while he kissed your neck and shoulder and just beneath your ear, making you shiver. 

Eventually, when the squeezing of your cunt was reduced to a flutter and your body had milked every last drop of seed from Steve’s cock, the two of you settled. Your heat had abated for the moment. Though need still burned low in the core of your body, reminding you it wasn’t over just yet. 

But you had a bit of a respite, and you took the time to revel in you newfound mate. Turning your head, you pressed a kiss to Steve’s cheek, which was flushed pink with pleasure.

You felt Steve’s smile against your skin and then he was rising up so you could see the full blush that tinged your alpha’s cheeks. He looked so sweet and ruined, his blond hair a mess, his blue eyes bright with satisfaction, a deeply smug smile on his plump lips. 

“Feeling better, ‘mega?” he asked, though there was so much male satisfaction in his tone, you were certain he already knew the answer. 

Still, you liked seeing this side of Steve. Typically you didn’t like cocky alphas, but Steve looked so hot when he was confident, your pussy fluttered around his knot at the sight of his smirk.

“I am, daddy,” you said softly, smiling up at your alpha, enjoying the way his smirk deepened as you confirmed what he knew. You couldn’t help but stroke his ego a little more. “Now that you’re here to take care of me.”

Steve’s eyes softened and he pressed a heated kiss to your lips. “Good,” he said when he pulled away. Then his arms were wrapping around you and he rolled onto his back, dragging you with him until you were splayed across his broad chest, your bodies still locked together by his knot. 

It would deflate soon enough, but you reveled in the feeling while it lasted, snuggling into Steve’s arms. Sleep called to you, but Steve was still moving and you when you opened your eyes, you found him reaching for your stash of provisions on your bedside table.

“Gotta eat and hydrate, baby,” Steve murmured as he unwrapped a protein bar and began feeding it to you. Even though you were exhausted, you knew he was right and you let him feed you, only sitting up when it was time to gulp down some of the sports drink he offered you. “Good girl, ‘mega, doing so well for your alpha,” Steve said, praising you while you ate and drank.

When you were done, Steve tossed the empty wrappers and bottles back onto your bedside table and relaxed into the many pillows on your bed. You settled down on his chest, your body sated in every way possible, muscles going loose when your alpha began to purr. 

“Thank you, alpha,” you mumbled, the urge to sleep more insistent since you were fed. Steve’s hands smoothed down your back, tracing your spine lightly with his fingertips in a way that made you melt even further into him. 

“Don’t need to thank me,” he grumbled, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple. “You’re my mate, ‘m gonna do everything I can to take care of you—and our kids.” He added the last bit like it was an afterthought, but you knew Steve meant it, and your heart warmed at his protectiveness. 

You smiled into Steve’s warm skin, nuzzling into his neck beneath his jaw, breathing in the scent of him—the scent of home—but his words made you remember something you should tell him. 

“Steve, ‘m on birth control,” you murmured sleepily, pressing a lazy kiss to the thick column of his neck. “Thought you should know.” You snorted a little, laughing at yourself for the silliness of your last statement, even though it was true.

The rumble of Steve’s purr changed as he chuckled, his strong arms tightening around your waist for a moment before he grabbed a blanket and pulled it up over your cooling bodies. “Figured, ‘mega,” he rumbled, his voice so warm, you could hear his smile. “Doesn’t mean ‘m gonna stop picturing you round with my pup, even if it’s a while before that happens.”

“Mm,” you hummed in acknowledgment, then pouted as you processed his words. “As long as it’s not a long while,” you muttered, hardly listening to what you were saying because you were so close to sleep.

Steve chuckled again, his hands squeezing you lightly. “It’ll be as long or as short as you want, baby,” he assured you in a gruff voice that was thick with just as much tiredness as yours. “I’d give you a pup today if I could.” 

You smiled, your heart filling with emotion, and pressed your lips to your alpha’s neck. You might’ve been exhausted, but it didn’t stop you from murmuring the words your heart urged you to say, “I love you, Steve.” 

Steve’s purr deepened, and he held you close, no hesitation in his voice when he said, “I love you, too.” Your alpha brushed a kiss to your cheek and smacked your ass very lightly. “Now rest, omega, we still have to get through the rest of your heat.”

You fell asleep with a smile on your face, feeling safe and protected and satisfied in the arms of your mate, your bodies still locked together by Steve’s knot. You never would’ve expected anything to come of your crush on your neighbor—and you never would’ve expected he’d be a perfect fit for your desires, let alone your mate. 

But, you knew the two of you were going to live a happy life together—and you couldn’t wait to spend every moment of it with the alpha next door.

[disneyprincemuke]

i forgot that you existed * sv5

you didn't expect to run into your ex ever again, yet here you are and you find yourself pretending like you'd never met him before.

pairings: sebastian vettel x fem!reader

trope: fake amnesia

wc: 1.4k

(f1 masterlist) | (falling in reverse)

you hide behind a display in the middle of the supermarket, stacked boxes keeping you somewhat hidden from the man you’ve stalked the moment you got out of your car in the parking lot. you keep your head down to avoid getting recognised back.

an uncanny lookalike of the man you swore was the love of your life stepped out of the car parked next to yours and it’s like you’ve been in a trance ever since. you can’t tear your eyes away from the man now sauntering within the supermarket with a basket hanging from his arms loosely.

because you know that you packed everything up and moved halfway across the world when you thought you’d go crazy from the reality that he’d left you at the altar — on your wedding day.

it’s been 5 years since he watched you walk down the aisles of a church with your shared friends and families covered in a white dress that took you 2 months to choose. an entire lifetime ago since you had taken one last step up to the altar before he had run in the direction you came from and never be seen again.

in the back of your mind, you remember the way it felt like life had lost all its meaning after that day. life started to grey itself out as the living soul was sucked out of your body.

all for him to relay a message through his parents, thoroughly embarrassed to tell you that all the man could muster up was a pathetic and humiliating apology: ‘i’m sorry’.

he’s sorry? that’s all he could say to you after spending — wasting — 6 years of your life with him, planning your future and ending it abruptly on the day you were supposed to vow that you’d spend the rest of your lives together.

you’d daydreamed several times about the things you would say to him if you’d ever chanced upon running into him again. it went several different ways: sometimes you thought about throwing punches for making you question everything or falling to your knees in tears asking him how and why he could do this to you, and sometimes the scenario goes in a way that he’s the one begging you for an apology at your feet and saying that he regrets it.

the days seemed to pass by slowly and painfully after he’d left you. but you just remembered waking up one morning and hating the way your reflection stared at you in the mirror.

you were a mess.

so you packed your things and left everything behind — you moved halfway across the world and started anew. you haven’t regretted that decision.

and what are the chances that you’d run into sebastian in an obscure supermarket on the other side of the globe half a decade later? you had left your hometown for this very possibility only for it to happen much later in life at a time you would never have expected.

now that you’re stalking him (unstealthily), everything you’d sworn that you would say to him is thrown out of the window.

you follow him into an aisle and linger at the edge of the aisle, feigning interest in the baking goods displayed neatly on the shelves. you pick up an item and drop your head to look at it, though your eyes can’t help but trail up to the man standing on the other end of the aisle.

it really is him. no matter how much reasoning you do with yourself, there’s no denying that sebastian vettel is standing in the very same property as you for the first time since the unfortunate demise of your relationship.

you seriously consider walking up to him and clocking him in the face then bolting away. because you know — used to — him and he wouldn’t hesitate to throw back a punch.

sebastian turns his head in your direction abruptly, making you whirl back around to the shelf in front of you. and then it happens.

you hear your name being called out by a voice you’d longed to hear after all these years.

you start to panic. you consider all of the possible options to escape the situation. maybe you still have time to start running? it’s just a supermarket; there’s several others everywhere else. you can just start doing your grocery shopping elsewhere.

ah, but this is the biggest supermarket closest to you and it’s got everything you need.

but as sebastian slowly approaches you, you find your mouth speaking faster than your head could process. “do i know you?”

do i know you? where the hell did that come from?

sebastian stops a a distance from you, jaw hung as he tilts his head at your words. “what?”

you swallow the formed lump in your throat as you look at him, wide eyed and hands balled into fists by your side. perhaps you should just pretend that he’s got the wrong person.

yet it seems that your mouth will continue to run without your brain. “yeah, i got into an accident a couple of years ago. it affected my memory.” you smile slightly. “did i know you?”

you watch as he tries to find a response to what you’ve just said. and he’s better than you, you think, because he still managed to find something to say. “accident? i’m so sorry.” you wave off his concerns with a hand in the air and a shake of your head. “we, uh,” he sucks in a breath, “used to be really good friends.”

good friends. men really are liars.

“oh, what a shame,” you say with a grimace, as if you mean it. as if you don’t actually remember the way he’d made you feel small. “how nice that i run into a familiar — well, unfamiliar — face. i haven’t seen you in any photo albums.”

you start to think that your mouth has a mind of its own. you swear that you’ve seen a movie with this exact plot: feigning memory loss to avoid the real consequences of running into someone from your past life. or it could just be a result of all your panic.

because he is in every single photo album you’d brought along with you. there’s holes in those albums, photos with sebastian now sitting in a box in the store room of your little apartment, in the deepest corner where it cannot be acquired without hardwork.

you lie again with a soft laugh. “when i was told my memory was completely wiped from my accident, i took off in an attempt to start again. but how nice that i run into a familiar — well, unfamiliar — face again.”

sebastian stands there in silence for a moment. “i’d really love to catch up some time,” sebastian offers with a small smile. “find out about this new life you have and everything.”

you feel an insurmountable rage fill your chest. your chest feels heavy and your head starts to pound.

you should really just start running back to your car now.

“that would be a great idea!” what the hell. that’s literally not what you had meant to say. you were considering laying it on him and screaming at him in the middle of the supermarket. it’s just so unfair that he stands here acting like he hadn’t driven you to the brink of insanity in your 20s.

“fantastic!” sebastian grins fishing for his phone in the pocket of his jacket. “let me get your number so we can find a day we’re both free? i have to head back to finish unpacking my boxes — i just relocated here for work recently.”

“what are the chances,” you joke through gritted teeth, typing your number into the contact sheet he’d pulled up for you. you should just run now with his phone and throw it into the lake nearby. “well, it’s nice running into you. i’ll hopefully see you soon!” you perk up and turn around. “sorry, i didn’t catch your name earlier.”

he grins, “it’s sebastian.”

gen taglist: @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @localwhoore @namgification

series taglist: @vicurious28 @c-losur3 @lozzamez3 @haikyuu-carat @bicchaan @cinnamongirlontv

[writingpastmybedtime]

Mine

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Summary: Bucky and Reader have to pretend to be husband and wife on a mission, even though they do not get along at all. Your classic enemies-to-lovers trope.

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: none, although Bucky is hot as always.

A/N: Let me know, if you want a pt 2 to this ;)

You should have known better, really. Wearing a short black, curve-hugging, dress wasn’t going to go unnoticed by the Super Soldier whose gaze you wished to avoid.

Bucky and you had been tedious to each other for most of the time spent at the compound. It was common knowledge for the team that you two weren’t supposed to be on the same mission together. Unless they wished to witness your back-to-back nagging. Which, they did not.

That changed, however, when Natasha fell sick and you had to replace her on a mission pretending to be the wife of a Russian mobster, Ivan Sarkovich aka James Buchanan Barnes undercover. 

Needless to say, you did not go on this mission without letting out a fight. Tony shut you up quite quickly, reminding you of the innocent lives that would be harmed if you did not fall through with this mission. There was no one else to take Natasha’s place, but you. You sighed, before begrudgingly agreeing.  

So here you were, at a lavish Balkan hotel somewhere in Eastern Europe with the most exhausting and tiresome being to ever exist - Bucky Barnes. The bane of your existence. The man, with the most gorgeous blue eyes, the body of a Greek God on steroids, and hands you wish would do the dirtiest things to you. 

No one knew you had these kinds of thoughts and feelings towards the ex-Winter Soldier, however, it wasn't hard to hide them whenever he acted like a total ass towards you. You had put up a façade to everyone, not letting out your true feelings. Not when he couldn’t even be in the same room as you without snickering a rude remark.

Had he ever not acted indifferent towards you, perhaps you would not be in this predicament you were in right now.

Fortunately enough, Bucky had already gone downstairs to play poker with the people who you were investigating. 

Ruslan Nikolaevich was a Russian man, behind a drug cartel that had been shipping new kinds of supplements in New York, mainly appealing to teens and young adults. They sold it under the premise of protein, however, it was nothing similar of the sort, except for the look of it. 

You and Bucky had to gain information about the next possible drop-off - the location, the recipient, and the lot. You were supposed to join your dear husband downstairs in five minutes, playing the ever-clingy happy, and satisfied wife.

Smoothing down your dress and taking a last-minute look in the mirror, you deemed yourself good to go. Perhaps your dress was a bit much, but without a second thought, you left the safety of your hotel room. 

Walking towards the men sitting at the poker table, you held your chin high and only looked at Bucky. He was wearing an all-black suit, the one that you thought fit him the best. The one that you wished he would wear when he’d do the most dirty things to you. 

Bucky looked up from the table, as if hearing your thoughts, and his eyes fell on yours. A smirk graced his lips as you neared and he patted his lap, an indication for you to take a seat. 

It was totally normal and mostly expected of the Russian mobsters to have their wives and eye candies sitting on their lap - a way to show off. So, as expected of you, you took a seat. Right on Bucky’s deliciously firm thighs. 

“I thought you wouldn’t come, with how long you took,” Bucky nuzzled into your neck, making a shiver go down your spine. You smirked, placing a seductive hand on his jaw, playing with the slight stubble there. 

“What kind of a wife would I be, if I did not show up to support my perfect husband?” You raised an eyebrow and Bucky chuckled darkly, before placing his lips on your temple and focusing his gaze back on the game. 

“I wish my Maria would still look at me the same way your девушка looks at you,” a man with a thick Russian accent said, looking over at you with a longing gaze that made Bucky place his vibranium arm over your waist as if to pull you closer to him and protect against the Russians that eyed you in a way that made his blood boil. 

Bucky chuckled, to not let on, that he was disturbed by Maksim’s looks. 

“If you’re willing, you could also share your сладостью with the others,” Maksim was eyeing you up and down, and you were now second-guessing your dress choice.

“Gentlemen,” Bucky chuckled darkly, before throwing his cards on the table. “I’m afraid this sweet thing is not for share, for I have intended her all for myself tonight.” 

The men at the table groaned but still looked at you with lust-filled eyes, a certain jealousy towards Bucky Barnes, no, Ivan Sarkovich. 

“I think it’s time we took our leave, my девушка seems to be getting tired of our manly chit-chat and boyish games.” With a nudge to your waist, you feigned a believable yawn and clung to Bucky, playing the ever-attaching wife. Bucky wished good night to the gentlemen at the table, before guiding you towards an elevator.

When the elevator doors closed and you could finally take a breath, letting go of the fake act, Bucky stepped in front of you with a hard look. 

“Are you out of your mind to wear a dress like this in front of them?” 

You looked down at your dress, picking invisible lint off of it. 

“Do you have any idea, what kind of a position you put me in? The things they whispered,” he took a deep breath, closing his eyes, as if to calm himself. You did not understand the Russian language the way he did. Which also meant that you had no idea what kind of vulgar things they had said about you. 

You saw his hands shake on the railing on the wall, that he’d gripped, his knuckles turning white on his right hand with how hard he was gripping it. 

“Fuck, doll-” he looked at you then, his baby blue eyes a shade darker, before he suddenly gripped your jaw and made you look up at him. “You only belong to-” He was cut off by the elevator doors opening and he nonchalantly let go of you, walking off to your shared hotel suit.

You followed him, still ashamed and, confusingly enough, a little bit turned on by his demeanor. He’d never acted this way before. And what was he almost about to say?

As you shut the door of the suit, you immediately felt his breath on your neck. A gentle, but rough hand moved strands of your hair off your shoulder, before chuckling deeply. 

Bucky placed his forehead in the crook of your neck, before letting out a deep breath. His hands then found their way to your waist, pulling you closer to himself. 

“Y/N, do you have any idea, what you do to me?” You felt his lips move on your skin, which made you shudder and the most obscene thoughts filled your head. He whispered your name again.

“If I had known any better, I’d think you got jealous when poor old Maksim made that suggestive comment,” you finally whispered, your forehead resting on the door. Bucky pressed himself closer to you, leaving you sandwiched between him and the brown wooden suite.

“Only I can make comments like that about you. No one else.” He kissed the side of your neck, your head automatically falling on his shoulder. It was as if you had no control over your body; you only moved on his accord.

“You’re mine.”

[moviesismylife]

Cabin shenanigans

(Bat boys x f!reader)

Summary:

Where a game of “truth or strip” with the bat boys at the cabin, leads to a bit more…

Warnings:

18+, SMUT, oral giving!receiving, shower $ex

Mentions of alcohol

Nudity

Tropes

Poly!bat boys

Friends w benefits

Note:

Aaahhh this is my first time writing smut, so please be kind🙏🏼. I LOVE reading poly bat boys fics, like just being worshipped by all of them😩. Living my fantasy out. Also it’s mostly just reader being absolutely spoiled by them;)

Enjoy x

Y/n

I take a sip of my drink as I lounge on one end of the couch.

“Why don’t we do something more exciting?” Cassian suggest from where he sits in an arm chair across from me.

“Like what Cass?” Rhys asks looking at him questionably.

He’s sitting on the other end of the couch I’m in, also drink in hand.

“Like truth or dare” he suggests.

“That’s so boring” I whine.

“Yeah I agree with y/n. Isn’t there something a bit more…spicier?” Azriel asks from where he’s also sitting in an arm chair.

Me, Cassian and Rhys all raise our eyebrows at him, as he isn’t exactly the one to suggest these kind of things.

“What did you have in mind Az…” Rhys questions him.

“I don’t know…like maybe…dare or…strip?” He suggests.

I choke on my drink, and Cassian is just grinning widely. Of course he is. Rhys is smirking a little.

“Did you say strip?” I ask for confirmation.

“What? Are you a coward y/n?” Cassian asks me, raising his eyebrow.

I throw a pillow at him, and the other two just snicker.

“Fine I’m in” I say, chugging the rest of my drink.

Then I refill it to the top. I’m gonna need a lot of alcohol if I’m gonna be able to not get flustered.

“Okay I start” Cassian says.

“Rhys I dare you to fly around the mountains utterly naked…or strip” he smirks at Rhys.

“I do not wanna get up right now…so I guess I’ll have to lose something” Rhys answers as he puts his glass down.

Then he moves to remove his shirt, leaving him bare chested. He could have removed anything else. Seriously?

My gaze drops to his muscular torso covered in Illyrian tattoos.

“You’re drooling y/n” Cassian says, and I close my mouth that has unintentionally dropped wide open.

“Fuck you Cass” I say, flipping him off.

“It’s alright darling. Nothing you haven’t seen before right?” Rhys asks me and I roll my eyes at him.

Again he chuckles.

“Okay my turn. Cassian I dare you to…make out with Azriel” I say smirking at him.

“Say less” Cassian says as he heads over to Az and grabs his face to smash their lips together.

Azriel tumbles back but Cassian goes all the way in. I see how incredibly hungry the kiss is. Cassian is devouring him.

“Okay that’s good Cass. Looks like Az has had enough” Rhys comments.

I just smile to myself and take another sip of my drink.

As Cassian finally pulls away, Azriel seems very shocked and flustered. But not surprised. Cassian has been obsessed with him for years.

“Y/n let me ask you one” Azriel says, directing his attention to me.

“Alright” I say, putting my glass down.

“I dare you to tell us who you find the most attractive out of the three of us” he finishes.

“That is cruel” I say, narrowing my eyes at him.

“It’s the game. Do it or strip” he shrugs.

I can’t answer this question. Simply because I do not know the answer. I’ve known them since I was a child. And I find all of them equally attractive.

I don’t say anything as I just remove my socks.

All three of the boys give me an annoyed look, and I quirk an eyebrow at them.

“What?” I ask.

They don’t even answer.

“I removed a piece of clothing didn’t I?” I say knowingly before taking a large sip of my drink again.

“Alright sweetheart. Let me ask you another” Rhys says as he looks at me.

“It’s Azriel’s turn” I protest.

“I’ll do it after you” Azriel says, as I curse him for letting Rhys ask me another.

I turn my attention back to Rhys and he gives me a slight smile.

“I dare you to take off your sweater” he smirks knowingly.

“What? That’s not fair. You’re cheating” I whine as the others just grin at me.

“Do it or take off another piece of clothing” Cassian tells me, and I roll my eyes again.

So I decide to just take off my sweater, leaving me in my bra and sweatpants.

Now it’s their time to gawk. All their eyes trail over my chest, and my lace black bra.

“Hey eyes up here dickheads” I snap at them.

They live their gazes up to meet mine and I can’t help but blush a little.

“Alright Az…I dare you to…leave a hickey on Rhys’s neck” I say with a mischievous smile.

Rhys seems every eager to this dare, but Azriel just takes his shirt off instead. Now he is also bare chested. Just great.

——————

I am now only in my underwear and so are the three Illyrian males.

“I say we stop here, before it goes too far” I suggest, as I don’t need them to see me naked.

Cassian has the audacity to whine, and I roll my eyes at him.

“Why don’t we go out in the snow instead?” Rhys suggest and I just look at him weirdly.

“It’s freezing” I say.

Azriel just smiles smugly. Then Cassian grins as well.

They all look at each other, communicating somehow before they turn to me.

“What. You’re scaring me” I question them all.

Then Cassian moves over to me, lifting me up under my arms. Rhys moves forward and grabs a hold of my legs and I immediately protest.

I kick my feet and slap my hands in the air, but they don’t seem to even notice.

Then they walk me outside into the dark cold and throw me into the snow. Azriel following close behind.

“Fuck!” I yell as the ice cold snow hits my skin. I immediately get up to rid myself of it, but I’m already soaked in it. Even my hair.

“You bastards. You’re so dead” I say as I lean down to make a snowball.

As they notice I do this, they start to make their own.

I throw mine right at Rhys’s chest, and he looks at me wickedly. Fuck.

Then I’m bombarded with snowballs hitting me, as I run away screaming.

“No fuck- stop- I’m sorry- don’t- please” I manage to get out in attempts to run away.

I don’t notice Azriel as he wraps his large arms around my middle, lifting me up.

“No…Az…” I warn him, but then Cassian smashes a snowball onto my head.

I let out a moan of pain. That makes them stop what they’re doing immediately.

Then Azriel lets me down, but keeps his hands on my bare stomach.

“I’m not staying out here, it’s fucking freezing” I say as I manage to get out of his grip, and run inside the cabin again.

I hear several footsteps following me inside, as I head into the sauna.

I perch myself on one of the benches on the second step and close my eyes at the heat.

Then I hear a door opening, and immediately smell their intoxicating scents.

They all settle beside, in front, and behind me. Then I open my eyes.

Cassian is at my right side. Rhys is in front of me, his back facing my legs. And Azriel is behind me, his legs spread out beside my frame. Making my upper body stay trapped in between his strong calves.

“Hello princess” Cassian says as he tucks some hair behind my ear.

“Hello Cass” I answer him nonchalantly.

He moves his fingers from my ear, down to my shoulder, and then down my arm, along my sides resting it at my bare thigh.

I close my eyes again, trying to not pay too much attention to the three muscular Illyrians sitting around me.

Suddenly I feel a few fingers in my hair, playing with some strands. Azriel.

I lean my head back to give him more access. And he immediately takes it. He starts to rub at my scalp, massaging it. That earns him another moan from me. But one of relief.

Again all of them freeze in time, like they’ve seen death.

I open my eyes yet again, to find them all staring at me.

Rhys has turned his head around and is gawking at me. I can feel Cassian’s piercing stare from beside me. And Azriel’s gaze I can always feel. But also the fact that his hands have stopped moving.

“What is it? Why’d you stop Az?” I question him, as I turn my head around to look at him.

“You need to stop making those sounds” he says sternly.

“What sounds” I ask genuinely confused.

“Those moans of yours darling. They’re insufferable” Rhys says from in front of me.

I turn my face to him.

“It felt nice. Azriel’s hands” I clarify.

“I bet they felt extremely nice” Cassian says grinning.

I turn to him this time.

“What do you mean Cass?” I ask him innocently.

He starts to move his hand on my thigh, higher, very fucking slow.

“I mean y/n. That if you’re going to make those beautiful sounds. You shouldn’t be surprised by what that does to us” he explains, his gaze darkening with hunger.

As his hand reaches my inner thigh, right where my hip meets the top, I draw in a sharp breath.

I feel something in my stomach heating at his touch.

“What do you mean” I repeat, even though it’s not really a question.

“Look down” he answers with a sly smirk, and I do.

I look right down to his huge boner. Fuck me. He’s hard as steel. From one little moan from me?

I can’t help but gawk at it, my mouth falling open, and my lips parting. I feel my mouth dry out, at the look of it. I can’t even see his cock, but I know it’s big, from his undershorts.

“You gonna take care of that darling?” Rhys asks from, still in front of me, his hand now slowly up my other leg.

Azriel’s hand has started to move down the side of my face, towards my neck.

I choke on my spit.

“I uhm…what…I thought we were just…I should go to bed” I manage to get out, sprinting to my feet.

But as I hit the floor, Rhys wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me down onto his lap. Right onto his own hard erection. What the actual fuck.

My back is in touch with his chest, and my hands go to his thighs as a reaction to steady myself.

Then his nose moves to brush against my neck and ear, and he leans in to whisper lowly.

“Where do you think you’re running off to?”

I don’t even answer him, as his mouth trails over the sensitive skin of my neck.

I let out a moan again. But this time of pleasure.

“Fuck y/n. I said stop doing that” Azriel groans form behind us.

“She can’t help it Az. My mouth feels to good on her skin” Rhys answers him.

Then out of instinct, I turn around, grounding myself on Rhys’s lap, my thighs draping over his own, and my hands curving around his neck.

He lets out a breath of surprise, but places his palms on my hips anyways.

Then I lean down to his mouth, so that they’re brushing against his barely.

“I really should go to bed…” I whisper.

“You’re not going anywhere love” he whispers back, before smashing his lips onto mine.

I smirk as I kiss him roughly back, my hands immediately tangling in the base of his hair.

I roll my hips into his, and he lets out a feral growl.

“Fuck y/n…”

I let out a moan myself, our mouths parting slightly.

But he pushes my hips forward, repeating the action, earning another moan from both of us.

As I keep grinding my hips into his, I throw my head back, my mouth falling open.

He takes that as an opportunity to smash his lips onto my neck, sucking and biting at my skin.

“Fuck Rhys…” I moan slightly as he leaves a love bite on my neck.

“My name sounds so good coming from your lips darling…” he speaks into the skin of my neck, as he continues to leave marks.

As Rhys devours me, my hips still moving into his, I open my eyes to meet Cassian’s gaze.

He’s eyeing me with hunger. His expression says nothing but lust, and he tilts his head to look at me properly.

I keep eye contact with him, as he moves slowly towards me and Rhys. He settles down on the bench beside us, his right coming in touch with both of ours.

With that Rhys withdraws from my neck and turns his head to the side to see Cassian.

“Couldn’t wait could you Cass?” Rhys asks him.

“I want my name to roll of her tongue as well…” he answers keeping his gaze on me.

My arms are still draped around Rhys’s neck, my fingers playing with his hair. Rhys is now rubbing soothing circles on my waist unconsciously.

“Then you’re gonna have to put that mouth to other use Cassian” I speak up, and both their gazes snap to me.

“You sure you’d want that princess?” Cassian quirks an eyebrow at me.

I roll my eyes at him, and move his hand to my thigh. Rhys just smiles knowingly.

“Why don’t you get comfy on Rhys’s lap sweetheart?” Cassian asks me as he moves off the bench.

I do as he says, and turn around again, my back facing Rhys’s chest. Cassian moves to the ground in front of me, kneeling in between me and Rhys’s thighs.

I feel two large hands wrap around my waist, holding me tightly. I lean my head back into Rhys’s neck, and he gives my cheek a loving kiss.

Then I feel Cassian’s hands trail up my legs smoothly. My own hands move to Rhys’s on my waist, clasping them on top of his.

The hands on my legs move further up, tracing the inside of my thighs. I inhale a sharp breath.

Then one of Cassian’s hands traces the outline of my underwear, and I whimper.

“Shh darling…Cassian hasn’t even started yet” Rhys says comfortingly into my ear.

Then Cassian pulls back, tying his hair up in a bun. Cauldron boil me.

My legs instantly spread wider as a response and he grins widely.

“You’re gonna have to remove this pretty little thing” Rhys says again, as he moves a hand to my underwear.

I only lift my hips in response and Rhys drags them right off me and onto the floor.

Cassian’s mouth drops open, and he stares.

“Cauldron you have a beautiful cunt. And it’s already so drenched” he speaks as he moves closer.

His hands land on my thighs, keeping my legs wide apart. And then his tongue latches onto my slick folds.

I throw my head back into a loud moan, as he drags his tongue through them.

“You taste so good…” he growls into my wet cunt, and I grab into Rhys’s hands.

Rhys just kisses my neck in response, leaving even more love marks.

Then Cassian’s tongue slides into me, and I moan again.

He swirls it inside my cunt, lapping and sucking kisses onto it. Then his fingers join in, once circling itself around my clit.

“Cassian…” I moan into the open, my nails digging into his hair.

His tongue continues to play with my drenched cunt, as his finger circles my clit. I feel heat building up in my core.

My hands tangle themselves into Cassian’s hair as he pushes a finger into me.

That makes me push his head further into me, earning me a feral growl from him.

As I keep pushing his face into my dripping cunt, he lets out several vibrating groans.

I feel myself closing around him. Only a few more moments now.

Rhys notices my squirming and decides to place a hand onto my clothed bra. Running his fingers over my peaked nipples, I let out a moan.

Cassian keeps pushing his face further into me, his finger curling and twisting inside me. The other circling my sensitive bud in a rapid motion.

“I can’t hold it-“ I whimper, as my thighs start shaking.

“Soak his face darling…” Rhys motivates me, as Cassian grips harshly onto my thighs.

His fingers dig into the flesh of my skin, surely leaving bruises. But I don’t care.

I don’t care at all, as I let myself go freely. My whole body twitching with pleasure, and my eyes rolling into the back of my head.

“Fuck!” I cry out in pleasure, as I spill onto Cassian’s tongue.

I keep squirting into his mouth, and he takes it all. His fingers pull out of me, drenched in my juices, and he only looks at me with lust, as he sucks his fingers dry. At that he groans.

“Look what a mess you’ve made of him y/n…CassIan’s drenched in your cum” Rhys says into my ear, as my cunt is still pulsating.

“I want…Azriel” I breathe out. Not forgetting the shadowsinger, who’s been awfully quiet the past minutes.

“You want him do you?” Rhys questions me and I nod.

Then as in command, the shadowsinger steps down beside Cassian, who’s still kneeling, and slips off his undershorts.

His swollen, hard cock springs free and I nearly moan at the sight.

I can’t tear my eyes away, and instead just get to my feet, pushing Cassian aside.

I get on my knees in front of Azriel, pinning up my hair with a ribbon. He grabs my chin softly, tilting my head upwards to meet his gaze.

“You look so good on your knees princess. Now be a good girl and suck me off” he grins darkly, and I palm him in my hand.

He only closes his eyes, as I run my hand back and forth over his long, hard shaft.

His head dips back, as he lets out a deep groan. I hear Cassian shifting behind me to settle himself beside Rhys.

I bring my tongue to the tip, as I lick around it. He groans again.

Then I decide to run my tongue over the underside of his long cock, licking a stripe.

I let my nails drag slightly over him as well, before I finally push him inside my mouth. He’s so fucking big. Bigger than both Cassian and Rhys, and they’re massive. Or at least I think they are.

I start to bob my head back and forth, my tongue running over his sensitive skin. His hands move to my hair, and he fists it in his hand.

I grip his muscular thighs, as I push myself further onto him. I take as much of his large cock as I can into my mouth, and using my hand for the rest.

He hits the back of my throat, and I gag. That makes him groan even more.

“Fuck y/n, you’re a pro” Cassian says from behind.

“Come on y/n, you can bring him to his end” Rhys encourages me.

I hollow out my cheeks, as I continue to bob my head back and forth. Azriel helps me by pushing my head forward. I gag over and over again, letting out a few moans myself, as I take him.

He continues to groan, almost like an animal.

I feel his dick twitching inside my mouth and I know he’s close.

“So close y/n…don’t stop” he motivates me and I don’t.

A few tears spill from my eyes, as he finally fills up my mouth.

“Y/n!” He comes with my name rolling off his tongue.

He squirts a handful into me, and I swallow every single drop. When I pull away, a few drops of his cum drips down my lips. I use my thumb to wipe it off, as I suck it into my mouth. All while keeping eye contact with him the whole time.

He groans again.

“The things you do to me y/n…” he says, and I stand up to meet his eyes.

He smiles a loving smile at me, as he gives me a gentle kiss on the lips. Forgetting that I just swallowed his juices.

A moan escapes his mouth, as he tastes himself on my tongue and lips. Then he pulls away, and looks into my eyes.

Cassian and Rhys comes up behind me us, and I feel two pair of hands wrap around me. I now stand in the middle of the three, tall, muscular Illyrians, and I feel tiny.

Rhys moves some hair from my neck, and leans down to whisper in my ear.

“You’re so beautiful darling…”

I close my eyes, leaning into his touch.

Cassian’s hand moves to my bra, as he traces a hand over it.

“Cass…not again…” I nearly moan.

“Relax princess…let us take care of you” he answers.

I let the run their hands over me a couple of times, let them feel their way over my body. Let them kiss and nibble on my skin. But then I push them away. They all give me a confused look.

I walk away from them, heading to the door, and opening it. Then I walk out and head for the bathroom.

I hear them following me, but I don’t stop. As I enter the bathroom, I strip out of my underwear and walk into the large shower.

I turn on the water, and stand under it, letting it fall onto my body. I soak my hair as well, as I run my hands through it.

When I open my eyes again, I am met with three pairs of eyes. Three pairs of hungry, lustful eyes.

The three bat boys are standing in the bathroom, right in front of me, as their eyes roam over my entire body.

I feel myself heat up again at that. But I ignore it, and go back back to standing under the faucet.

I hear some shuffling and footsteps, before all three of them enter the shower with me.

I open my eyes again to look at them. They’re all hovering over me, and I have to look up to meet their eyes. And they’re all naked. Great.

Just don’t look down y/n. Do not look down. But of course I do. My gaze drops to all their lower abdomens, to the three large cocks that hang there. Oh my fucking god.

I stare fit way too long, a breathy moan leaving my mouth at how they’re already hard.

“Eyes up here princess” Cassian says and my eyes shoot back up.

I swallow deeply, as I find all three of them grinning darkly.

Their own eyes drop to my naked body. Over my chest, stomach, thighs, legs and of course my dripping cunt.

I look at all three of them, deciding which one of them I wanna fuck first. Which cock I wanna feel inside me first.

I head for Rhys as I smash my lips onto his. He immediately wraps his arms around me, and I moan as his hard dick comes in contact with my wet cunt.

I bite down on his lips, my hands moving to either side of me, palming both Azriel and Cassian’s dick in my hands. They both let out groans of surprise.

I continue to make out with Rhys as I play with their cocks.

Rhys’s hands move down to my ass, grabbing a handful, and squeezing tightly. I moan into his mouth.

“I wanna fuck you…” he speaks into my mouth.

“Then fuck me…” I respond the same way.

With that he pulls away, and slams me into the shower wall. He moves one hand to his cock, and pushes slowly inside me. My eyes screw shut at the motion, and I let out a deep moan.

“Fuck Rhys…I don’t know I can-“ I start but he cuts me off, by moving his hand over my mouth.

“You can take it darling. I know you can” he encourages me.

And then he pushes himself the last inches inside of me, and I have to grab onto his shoulders not to cry out of pleasure.

“Cauldron boil me…” I moan out as he starts moving inside me.

Azriel and Cassian take a seat on the bench inside the shower, as they only watch.

My eyes move to them, as Rhys continues to thrust inside of me, and they only smirk.

I notice both of their hard, swollen dicks and I ache to touch them. Help them. Satisfy them.

Rhys moves deeper into me, his hands moving to hold my thighs, so he can thrust as deep as possible.

I try to keep my eyes on Azriel and Cassian, but I struggle as Rhys continues to destroy me.

My nails dig into his shoulders, and I feel myself clenching. I’m close.

“Rhys…I’m close” I breathe out, as he continues to thrust deep inside me.

With that he only pushes harder, his thrusts becoming slower and deeper. That means he’s close too.

“Come on darling…come for me” he encourages, and that throws me over the edge.

My walls tighten around his dick, and I spill myself inside him. He follows me right after, as his own juices leak into me.

“Fuck y/n…you feel so good” he moans as he rises out his orgasm.

As my release ends, I slacken in his arms. Already struggling to stand up from the orgasms I’ve already had.

Rhys notices, and moves his arms to my hips, as he pulls himself out of me. Then he raises his head to meet my eyes. He looks at me worried.

“Are you okay?”

I swallow deeply, and take a deep breath.

“Yes, I’m fine” I confirm with a slight smile.

He nods and gives me a slight smile back, before stepping away from me.

As he moves away, I suddenly get a glance of Azriel and Cassian again, still sitting on the bench.

My eyes dip down to their lower abdomens. Their cocks are still so hard and swollen, and I just ache to have them inside me too. But I’m not sure if I can. My legs are already wobbly, and I’m way too overstimulated.

“I…” I hesitate.

Azriel and Cassian’s gazes both soften at my tone and expression. Then Cassian stands up in front of me, the mother hen that he is.

“Princess? Are you tired?” He tilts my chin to look up at him.

I glance over at Rhys and Azriel again, and they both just look at me softly.

“I can take more…” I lie, or half lie. I do want them. I want both Azriel and Cassian before I go to bed. But I’m just so exhausted. My body feels so weak.

“Princess.” Cassian repeats, and I turn my gaze to him.

“It’s okay, if you’re tired, we can go to sleep” he comforts me.

“I do want you…I just” I don’t wanna miss this opportunity.

“It’s okay angel. We don’t wanna exhaust you. We can take it some other time” Azriel speaks up as well.

“But we had a moment…” I slightly argue.

“More moments will come. Believe me when I say that you will have the opportunity for this again” Cassian tells me with a slight grin.

I can’t help but smile at his playfulness.

“Alright then, but you’re still staying with me through the night. I will not let you leave” I demand them.

“As you command” Cassian salutes mockingly, and I can’t help but giggle.

——————

We’ve rinsed off all our sweat and scents, and I’m currently sitting at the edge of the bed, Azriel braiding my hair.

Cassian and Rhys are sitting pressed up against the headboard, ready for cuddle and sleep.

The need and lust isn’t as strong anymore, but my body is still very exhausted and tired.

“And done.” Azriel says, as he ties up my braid.

“Thank you…” I turn around.

He smiles, cups my cheeks, and gives me a loving kiss on the forehead. Then he pulls back, and sits next to the other two Illyrians.

They’re all dressed in pajama pants and cotton t-shirts. I’m wearing a cotton night gown, my hair now freshly braided.

I look down, fiddling with the hem of my gown, as I can’t look at them. I still feel bad for not letting Cassian and Azriel fuck me too. I said I wanted them, and then I just left them hanging. Guilt creeps up my throat.

“Darling, you’re still not feeling bad right?” Rhys asks, but I don’t meet his eyes.

“No I just-“ I cut myself off.

Then I lift my head to look at all of them.

“I’m sorry for blowing you off…” I look at both Cassian and Azriel.

“Princess, how many times do we have to tell you? It’s alright. We don’t care. All we want is for you to feel comfortable and safe” Cassian reassures me.

“But I-“

“No. You don’t get to apologize angel. You did nothing wrong” Azriel hushes me.

I sigh deeply and decide to slowly crawl over to them instead. I move in between Cassian and Rhys, as I tug the covers over my body.

Then I lay my head on Cassian’s shoulder, and I grab his much larger hand, fiddling with it.

I can feel all their gazes on me.

So I look up at Cassian through my eyelashes, and ask innocently.

“What?”

Cassian reaches out a hand to move a loose strand behind my ear, then he cups my cheek.

He leans down and pecks my lips softly. Then he mutters into my mouth.

“Beautiful”

I feel heat creeping up my cheeks. I don’t deserve them.

He pulls away from my mouth, but I can’t tear my eyes away from him. My lips are still parted where his were a few moments ago.

Then I decide to do something very bold. I grab his face in my hands, and smash my lips onto his.

He immediately falls a little back by the sudden action, but naturally his hands move to my waist. I move on top of him, my legs straddling his thighs.

Then I open my mouth to kiss him deeper, my tongue wanting entrance to his.

“Y/n” he pulls away. I quirk an eyebrow at him.

“Let’s go to sleep” he tells me, his hands staying on my waist.

“But I’m giving you what you want?” I look at him confused.

Rhys puts a hand on my thigh. I look to him.

“Y/n. You need to stop trying to please everyone. Take time for yourself. Rest” he tells me.

I turn towards Azriel. He’s looking at me with that same pitying face. I don’t want their pity.

“I don’t need rest. I need to give you what you want. All of you.” I protest, my hand moving for the hem of Cassian’s trousers.

He stops me, placing his own hands on top of mine.

“Y/n. Look at me” he says, and I lift my gaze slowly.

“Let’s sleep. And then we can do this tomorrow”

I sigh. I suppose they’re right. I am quite tired. And I do need sleep.

“On one condition” I argue.

“And what is that?” Azriel asks.

“These” I hint for their shirts.

“Need to go”

They all smile at me, before moving to take them off. The shirts land on the floor, and I can’t help but drool a little over their muscular forms.

“Can we go to sleep now?” Rhys asks me, and I nod.

I move off Cassian, and back between him and Rhys, lying down on the pillow. They all lie down as well, the duvets pulling over us.

I turn my body towards Cassian, and he turns towards me. My leg moves over his, and my arm drapes over his bare chest. The other arm I move over his waist slightly. I snuggle into his neck, inhaling his scent.

He wraps a strong arm around me, pulling me closer, as he kisses the top of my head lovingly.

I feel Rhys shift behind me, as his front suddenly presses into my back. He also moves a hand over my waist, his face nuzzling into my neck.

I can’t see Azriel, but I know he’s lying behind Cassian. Mostly because his hand interlaces with mine on Cassian’s waist, as I snuggle closer.

I close my eyes, letting myself rest, as I finally feel comfortable. I feel safe. I feel loved.

[golden-hearts-silver-tongues-if]

Demo: (Release Date: when i figure out twine, and then a week)

Life was never easy, but the day you first found your talent for less than legal practices, it certainly got easier. And when you finally got taken in by a nosy noble who could appreciate your talents, life finally seemed like it was looking up. But the highlife isn't all it was cracked out to be. You had to leave behind your best friend for this chance at the high life, and that's not even to mention all the enemies you've made while in service of the person who brought you in. Was it worth it? Can you keep your skeletons nice and tidy in your closet? Or will the past prove to have a few too many chips on its shoulder. ------------- This is a game about many things. Struggling to find meaning in your own life, trying to cling to those you care about as life drags you apart, and what can happen when you don't make peace before the storm. You take on the role of a peasant with a talent for the illegal, be that quick hands or a quicker wit. After years of dealing with the dirt of life to make a living, you get taken in (read, bought into service) of a noble who claims to have nothing but good intentions. They want to expose other nobility for their wrongdoings while climbing the ranks themselves. Will you be willing to remain loyal to their cause, or is money truly the only thing motivating you? That remains up to you to decide. Golden Hearts, Silver Tongues is rated 18+ for explicit language, mature themes, drug and alcohol use and abuse, violence, thoughts and mentions of suicide, self-harm, death and mental trauma. -------------

Customizable MC, choose your gender, pronouns, appearance, sexuality, romantic attraction, personality, history with some characters, potential disabilities, and most importantly, how you choose to go about your crimes. Are you a smooth talker, or someone who prefers actions over words?

Romance one of four available ROs? Will you fall back to your tumultuous Ex/Ex Best Friend? Or perhaps your new coworker or Boss? Or perhaps the most dangerous, the Ex-Noble hunting you down?

Struggle with Morality as you get pulled in different directions. What constitutes good anyways? And let's be honest, do you even care about being good at this point?

Resolve all of your lingering issue, before choosing how to move forwards. To remain trapped by the chains of your past, or to cast it all off and move forwards, unburdened. Ignorance is bliss, after all.

-------------

Romance Options:

The Rival (F, Cis or Trans selectable) - Your one and only friend in the early days of your life, and perhaps something more? You two grew up together and often were the only ones each other had. Perhaps she was your best friend, your lover, or someone you were so close to you could consider them family. Regardless, whatever she was, she isn't anymore. A fight caused a rift between you two, and now you two aren't on talking terms, much less anything else. So, when she shows up to one of your jobs, to steal the same items no less, is it any surprise things don't go well? Tropes - Exes to Lovers, Childhood Crush, Exfriends to Lovers, Rivals/Enemies to Lovers

The Boss (M, F, NB selectable) - The person who scooped you off the streets and showed you what the high life was like, and all you had to do was steal whatever they told you. Simple enough, right? You'd think. In practice, it seems like they keep upping the ante on your targets and at some point, you have to wonder whether or not this is all born out of good intentions. Though, with the looks they keep sending your way, perhaps more than just your skills have captivated them? No, that couldn't be true. After all, a noble and a peasant would cause far too much of an uproar for the already tumultuous figure that is your boss. Right? Gender Footnote - If NB, the Boss will be Agender. Tropes - Forbidden Love, Age Gap, Nobility x Peasant, Employer x Employee

The Coworker (M, Cis or Trans selectable) - A surprise your boss sprung on you just a few months ago, he is another noble who embraced your Boss' rhetoric and now wants to help reveal the darker side of the Kingdom. It's a shame he doesn't know what he's doing, but luckily (or unluckily), that is where you come in. Tasked to show him the ropes of thieving, you must figure out how to teach this eager learner what you've known all your life. He might not have quick hands, nor can he lie to save his life, but if there's one thing, he knows it's how to get up after a failure. And that surely has no correlation to all the gifts of his you've ignored over the years, right? Tropes - Coworkers to Lovers, Master x Apprentice, First Crush, Himbo, Potentially Grumpy x Sunshine

The Baron (M, F, NB selectable) - Hate is a strong word. Luckily, the Baron is a strong person. The first major noble your Boss ever sent you after, they by far had the hardest fall from grace out of anyone you know. Going from ruling an entire quarter of the Kingdom, to being nothing more than a rogue knight hunting you down for revenge. It's a shame they still have so much money at their disposal to hunt you with, and for all that it's worth, they are very good at finding you. Catching you, not so much. You always manage to just barely evade their capture....surely nothing to think about. Gender Footnote - If NB, the Baron will be Genderfluid. Tropes - Hate-Hate Relationship, Enemies to Lovers, Murder makes people hot, Villian Route, Potentially Redemption Arc

------------- Note Zone: Hey there! Thanks for reading all the way through this. This little place down here is where I plan on placing things like links in the future, and also any notes on progress or big topics and stuff that comes up. For now, all asks are welcomed, and once again thank you!

[holylulusworld]

Come to heaven

Title: Come to heaven

Written for @buckybarnesbingo (Round 6)

Card: B004

Square Filled: K5: handle with care

Ship/Main Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x Ex!Reader

Rating: Mature

Major Tags/Triggers/Warnings: angst, jealousy, ex! sugar babe trope, drunkness, fluff, hopeful ending

Summary: Making amends is hard.

A/N: Lyrics in Italics taken from Bruno Mars' "Locked Out of Heaven"

Word Count: 1,7k+

BBB BuckyBarnesBingo 2024 masterlist

Catch up here: Go to hell

Written in reader’s PoV

Bucky tries to slip his hand into your panties, but you wrap your hand around his wrist to stop him. This is how he always made you compliant and stopped any argument.

“No! Not this time.”

“No?” He sounds surprised. Of course, he’s surprised. You always gave in and let him seduce you. Pleasure and having his attention, even for a fleeting time, was better than thinking about the future, or your non-existent relationship.

“No!” You stiffen in his arms. “Let go of me. I won’t let you do this to me all over again. It’s always the same. You stop me from speaking my mind with your lips, hands, or cock. I’m done being a sexual object, a toy you can play with to you.”

“Doll, I…” Bucky reluctantly releases you from his embrace. He steps away to watch you turn around. “What do you mean?”

“This,” you press your hand to your heart, “was yours. I admitted my feelings and waited for you to at least tell me that I mean a little more to you than a set of holes you can fill. But…” you sniffle but put a brave face on, “you couldn’t even give me that.”

“So, you want to go back to that old man and his limp dick?” He scoffs in an attempt to hide the hurt.

“Even if I’m not in love with him, I know exactly what he wants from me. He won’t make promises of keeping me safe and happy only to turn his back on me the moment I tell him that I love him. With him, I know what I’ll get.”

You try to sidestep Bucky, but he blocks your path. “That’s it? You’ll leave me for that man without giving me the chance to make things up to you.”

“James,” you gently cup his face and look him in the eyes. “You can’t make things up to me with gifts or sex this time. I asked you if you can imagine having a relationship with me. You gave me your answer. It’s my turn to tell you that what you have to offer is not enough.”

“Not enough?” He’s confused. “But I…”

“Money and shiny things cannot replace what you are unwilling to give,” you give him a sad smile. “As much as I enjoyed our time together, it’s over. We both knew it’d end like this. This kind of arrangement is meant to end sooner or later. There is nothing we can do about it.”

You press your lips to his scruffy chin, ending what began as a passionate one-night stand with a soft kiss. “Goodbye, James. I hope, one day, you’ll find something worth being more than…” Your voice cracks and you drop your hands from his face.

“Y/N,” he tries to grab your hand but you step away the moment his fingertips brush your skin. If you give in to him now, you’re doomed to repeat history. “Wait, I can try to be better.”

You give him a weak smile. “No, you won’t, James. You never had to try, and that’s the problem. Your good looks and reputation made everything so much easier for you than for other men.”

He allows you to leave, watching you go to join your companion for the rest of the night. Bucky will sulk in a corner, drinking too much while wishing you’d stayed by his side instead of laughing about the things the old man by your side says.

Bucky is close to losing his patience. He’d hoped scaring the man you chose over him would be enough. Much to his chagrin, your companion from last night is rather amused about Bucky’s presence.

Erik Lehnsherr lived long enough to fear nothing. Not that he ever feared anything else than his own mortality. But at his age, even that fear faded a long time ago.

“I don’t understand why you are here, Mr. Barnes,” Erik leans back in his chair, an amused smirk on his lips. “Do we have business to do? I don’t think so. I’m old, not forgetful.”

“If you release Y/N out of her contract with you, I’ll pay you any sum,” Bucky tries to get you out of your sugar girl arrangement with the old creep.

“A contract?” He quirks a brow. “The lovely lady accompanying me last night came with me to make sure I’m not alone. We don’t have an arrangement. She’s just a lovely young woman spending time with me to help me with my paperwork.”

“Paperwork?” Bucky eyes his concurrent warily. He’s a master at reading people and finding lies behind a friendly smile. “She’s your employee?”

“A freelancer, the young people call it these days,” Erik holds back a chuckle.

When you offered to join him at the party, you told him everything that happened with James Buchanan Barnes. The man breaking your heart. Erik promised he’d do anything to make the fool let you go see that he made a grave mistake.

“I’m old, not someone creeping on young women,” he adds after a long pause. “I had my fair share of lovely ladies and gentlemen when I was younger.” Erik eyes Bucky up and down. “You’d be on top of my list if only I was thirty years younger.”

Bucky backpaddles. He eyes Erik warily before clearing his throat.

”What exactly is Y/N doing for you?”

“I already told you that she does my paperwork. I believed I was the old man here. Maybe you should get your memory checked, young man,” Erik chuckles. “If you’d excuse me now. I’m waiting for a massage therapist. A pretty boy getting this old man going…”

‘Old creep’, Bucky thinks to himself before leaving without saying goodbye. “At least he doesn’t creep on Y/N. That’s a pro.”

Bucky drove to his best friend to release some steam. He told Steve everything about you and the stunt you pulled to make him jealous.

“She tricked you,” Steve can’t help but laugh. “Man, you’ve got yourself a smart little cookie. I bet she tried to wrap you around her finger.”

“I fell for her lie so easily,” Bucky huffs. “I believed she’s riding that creep’s dick. Now I know, she put on a show to get my attention, not to rub it under my nose. My sweet doll is missing me.”

“Well, if she’s your sweet doll try to treat her better. She deserves someone to take good care of her.”

“Steve—”

“No, Buck. You need to handle her with care,” Steve won’t let his friend get away with a false excuse. “Y/N got hurt by you once, Buck. I don’t want you to make the same mistake twice.”

You walk a little faster to outrun Bucky. He’s following you around town, a bouquet of roses in his hands.

He tried to convince you to move in with him, promising the world to you.

“Go away,” you huff. “I don’t know what kind of game you are playing, but I won’t participate. Just leave me alone.”

“You know that you can’t run away from me in those shoes, right?” Bucky smirks when you stop in your tracks to look at the colorful thongs you’re wearing. “I never understood how you can walk in these…”

“I like to feel the sunshine and air on my feet,” you point out. “Not everyone wants to run around in polished leather shoes all the time.”

“Ouch,” he snickers. “Come on, baby doll. Let’s have lunch together. Give me the chance to show you that I can change.”

“Bucky,” you sigh. “You don’t get that I can’t go back to what we had.”

“Y/N,” he drops the roses to cup your face. “I don’t want to go back to what we had. Baby doll, let your Bucky treat you like a queen.”

“I don’t want you to treat me like a queen,” you wrap your hands around his wrists to pull his hands off of your face, “only like someone you respect and love. I want you to treat me like your girlfriend. But you can’t give me that.”

“Baby…”

You look on the ground. “Please pick the roses up and give them to someone who wants to become your next sugar babe. I’m out of this for good.”

Again, you walk away. You’re holding your head high and ignore the ache in your heart as you leave Bucky behind.

'Cause you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long Yeah, you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (ooh) Oh, yeah, yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (ooh) You bring me to my knees, you make me testify (ooh) You can make a sinner change his ways (ooh) Open up your gates 'cause I can't wait to see the light (ooh) And right there is where I wanna stay (ooh)

“What the fuck!” You yell out of your window. Bucky parked his car in front of your apartment complex. He’s singing along to a song, begging you to take him back. “It’s 2 am Bucky! What is wrong with you?”

He turns the volume down and kills the engine before waving at you.

“Baby doll,” he slurs. “I came here to bring you home. ‘m missing you, doll…Please come home.”

“SHUT UP!” one of your neighbors yells out of their window. “Do you know how late it is?”

“It’s 2 am,” Bucky yells back. “Stop yelling so loud. You’ll wake the neighbors!”

“BUCKY! Stop being so loud!”

“Baby…can I come up and cuddle you?” He grins dopily when you slam the window shut. “She loves me!”

“SHUT UP!” Your neighbor yells.

“Shut up!” Bucky yells back. “OH…there you are…” He stumbles toward the door when you get out. “BABY DOLL!”

“Bucky,” you hiss and grab his hand. “Stop yelling and come with me.”

“You look pretty in your pajamas,” he purrs your name and wraps himself around you. Bucky nuzzles his face in your neck and sighs. “Without you, I’m in hell, doll. Forget about that old creep and go for Bucky.” He mutters against you.

You sigh deeply. “Fine, come with me to heaven. You can bunker on my couch. In the morning, we will talk about impulse control and not yelling in the middle of the night.”

Tags in reblog.

[keyotosprompts]

not easy to please ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

alternatives to popular tropes

⇴ siblings's worst enemy

they're your sibling's enemy, so of course they're yours too. they're despicable and you seriously want them dead. luckily for you, the feeling's mutual.

⇴ struggling ceo and their know-it-all office worker

how did this mf become the ceo of one of the most progressive countries in the world?? they're clueless and you're the one that has to fix all their mistakes. you seriously don't get paid enough for this (unless they can come up with another way to pay you).

⇴ marriage of inconvenience

what happens in vegas stays in vegas. except when you've signed an official marriage contract, and everything is so much more complicated before. now this person is stuck with you until you can divorce! (or will you?)

⇴ forbidden hate

your parents absolutely adore the idea of the two of you together. they have wedding pinterest boards, future plans, and baby names for the two of you. only one thing: you two kinda hate each other, and hell would have to freeze over before you'd ever get with them.

⇴ no more second chances

sorry dude! f'ed up really bad the first time, and now you're not giving anymore chances, and your ex has to deal with the consequences. one problem: they can't deal with the consequences bc they're literally in love with you. hm. just what will this person do to get you back?

⇴ not so secret identity

everyone knows who they are. not even the old mask and hat trick could prevent people from identifying them. and it's fine–they absolutely bask in the fame. one problem though: they're a constant target to the entire world. perfect!

⇴ separated from each other

they never get any alone time. alone together in an elevator? too bad, a party of ten just showed up, pushing the two of you on the opposite side of the elevator. finally alone at home? nope! unfortunately, your friends make a surprise visit! oh how will you two ever get past this?

⇴ "you deserved it."

a normal person would've asked "who did this to you?" except your bond is not normal. not in the slightest. i mean seriously, what does this person want from you?

⇴ "i can't have you, so i'll let someone else take my place."

they know that they're not good enough for you, and that you deserve someone better than them. so, they choose to let you go, and hope that someone else can make your world light up like they used to

⇴ the one that is still here

everywhere you go, this person is there. whether it's physically, mentally, or spiritually, everything ties back to them. everything reminds you of them. you couldn't even escape if you tried.

⇴ playboy but he's actually a nerd that cannot get play

he's gorgeous–he's the most attractive man you think you've ever seen in your life. you think he's probably got it all–girls or boys coming up to him nonstop. only, that's not true in the slightest. somehow, he's managed to fumble every single time.

⇴ nobody wants the bad boy

he's troubled. there are rumors of him starting fights 24/7, and he lives in a bad area. he could really fuck someone up. nobody wants him.

⇴ "you must be delusional"

lovers that know that they're in love with each other, but when admitting it to their friends, they shut down their feelings.

⇴ loving someone to save them

none of that breaking up nonsense. love is power. their love and support causes you to be stronger than ever. knowing that there's love out there gives you a reason to keep on going. love saves you.

⇴ too smart to live

you've outdone yourself this time. bypassed every guard, rule, and law without anyone catching you. so, of course, there's only one solution here: to eliminate you.

⇴ different worlds (revised)

you grew up poor while they grew up rich. now, in the present, you are the more successful one, while they are struggling to get their life together. now, you must help the one who used to be in your current position, and fix things together.

⇴ one-sided blind date

rule one of having a blind date: you should not know who you're meeting. well, too late! you sneaked a peek at your friend's phone and found out who you'll be seeing soon. now, you're scrambling to get out of this date because you know exactly who it is.

[instantpansies]

STRANGE NOISES FROM THE HOLE IN THE WALL HEADCANONS/INTERPRETATIONS UHHH OBVIOUS SPOILERS. CLARISSA CENTRIC CAUSE. HOLY SHIT

clarissa is to locomotion as clara is to the nutcracker. she's the kid who dreamed him into existence hundreds of years ago. i know he says he's older than the devil - i think that's still plausible, he's existed since thought but wasn't attached to the Silver Line or brought into physical existence until clarissa, lonely or in danger or just bored, imagined a world where she could escape from her everyday life and live as a grown-up(? maybe? since benjamin/timothy/billy seemed to age up as soon as he went through the portal?), with freedom and whimsy and eventually a relationship with the friendly driver.

why do i say this? because otherwise im really fucking confused lmao, that first scene where clarissa and loco are introduced is strange in the context of the end of the play. they seem to have known each other for a good while before they get on the train. they act like a young couple who's stumbled upon the silver line as an escape from danger and now they're excited for their new life in a new, safe world. except that loco also says he's been driving the train for years.

(looking back, that very much feels like a scenario from a child's imagination - or perhaps a dream - where of course he's been doing this for years, that's his job, but of course they're glad they've found the train together, this is a new experience for her so it's just an extension of her perspective)

but clara is, she says, a child when she gets on the train. idk how old "little girl" is, but if we run with this headcanon and also assume that the timeline is both linear and literal, she's imagining herself in some form of a sexual relationship with loco at a pretty young age.

i posit that this can be reconciled in several ways (some more disturbing or inappropriate than others), but one thing that could be considered is that the first scene where loco and clarissa are introduced is symbolic of their relationship over the course of the train's history. depending on how old clarissa was when she first dreamt the world into existence, she might not have even been very aware of loco, and spent her time just enjoying the escapism or whatever. after a few years or however long, she starts to get older and decides to learn how she's actually done this, maybe spends a long time trying to understand exactly what's going on. maybe her research leads her to a relationship with loco, i don't know. they do get on the train together, maybe, when they're both young (or, well, relatively speaking) and new to the world, and loco eventually has been driving the train for years and years and clarissa makes it a bit more tolerable with some companionship after a long lonely time. but those things don't happen simultaneously, because i think those things don't really work simultaneously. that scene is a sort of speedrun/amalgamation of how the two of them have interacted over the years. and yeah i guess that means they fucked at one point in there

(im going to be transparent, some of that is a bit of cope/rationalization. i think loco and the conductor are very exes/begrudging coworkers vibes, but i do like clarissa and loco together as well - unsettlingly powerful girl x eldritch being with a soft spot is a very good trope. and im trying to make it work out okay? give me a break lol. you don't have to agree with me on this, but once i see a luke and tom couple with a fun and compelling dynamic i will not let them go even if the ethics get a bit hard to explain later on. sorry, anyways moving on)

additionally, and i probably should have said this earlier, a reason i think this whole nutcracker theory holds up is because clarissa holds a sort of unique power in the world. she's been on the silver line for hundreds of real-years, who knows how many train-years, and still remembers her name and something of her old life. loco isn't hostile to her, even confirming her memory of her name and reminding her of her birthdate. with everyone else (ex. benjamin), he actively discourages them from remembering their lives. despite seemingly being one of the oldest passengers, she doesn't transform for hundreds of years. she obviously has some significance.

you know how that ties in? if this is clarissa's world, if her mind is what created the whole thing, then i think it makes sense to assume it's tied to her. as she begins to question her surroundings, then panic as she realizes she can't leave, her emotional and/or mental state becomes less stable, less utopic, less perfect. the dream begins to turn into a nightmare. and it becomes. well. an ouroboros. the snake eats its own tail and the train goes in circles and the escapist fantasy clarissa once loved becomes a prison of her own design. trapped in the very thing that was supposed to save her.

maybe that's why anthony and benjamin can get out when they do - as clarissa's world decays, as she finally begins to become part of the nightmare, as she melds with the train, the world has to shift a bit. it's reaching the point of no return - once clarissa has been fully sucked in, the train will never stop again. falling into an infinite nothing. but in that moment, there's one final chance for the conductor to stall locomotion, one final leap that could at last pull benjamin and anthony and everyone who's been sucked in by clarissa's black hole of a nightmare out of the portal and back into the real world.

and now, clarissa has lost three hundred years of a life that should never have lasted so long. gained perhaps thousands of years of memories of joy and connection and despair and panic and forever forever forever. and she is once again trapped in a vessel of her own making - her body is that of the child she has not been for lifetimes. her world is dead and gone - not just the world she created, but the world she escaped from as well. what of locomotion, that brief flash of connection? does he even exist anymore? who is she, now? who was she? where can she possibly go from here?

shoutout delirium_undead on discord for going along with the nutcracker theory and helping me flesh this out. your ideas are so galaxy brained and i am forever in your debt

[thelightsandtheroses]

7. i don't mind falling in love with you

Frankie Morales x female reader | let's get lost chapter 7 [the last one!]

Summary: You and Frankie aren’t together anymore but you’re in a good place.However, spending a week together for your mutual friends’ wedding on a luxury resort might challenge that slightly and realising you’re still in love with your ex is a sure-fire recipe for disaster … Tropes: it was always you, getting back with the ex, beach!Frankie (you know *that* photoshoot) miscommunication, only one bed, good parent Frankie Chapter Warnings: 18+ MDNI, minor mentions of alcohol and food but reader's drink is not specified, weddings, good dad!frankie, truly terrible excel jokes. Word Count: 4.8k Notes - Oh wow, I can't believe we've made it to the end of Frankie and reader's story. Thank you so much to everyone who's commented, shared or engaged with this fic - your support means a lot. I started this fic in the midst of a stressful period of my life, and things have changed a lot since then (in a better way) but this fic has been a constant. While their journey is now over, I am excited to share my next Frankie fic soon which has many of my favourite tropes and perhaps a career move for Frankie that I cannot stop thinking about .... 🔥 For now, though, here's Let Get Lost... the chapter title is from the milk. song of the same name (this band featured a lot in my fic playlist)

Previous | Series |

You wake up in Frankie’s arms; the pillow barrier between fully discarded. After the rehearsal dinner, after sobbing at the beach and everything that happened, you felt so drained. By the time the two of you had got back to the hotel room, you were exhausted in your bones and you needed to focus on Clara so neither of you had a chance to talk about it further.

He asked you not to give up on the two of you though. He told you he wanted to woo you.

He wants to woo you.

Woo you.

The thought sends a thrill down your spine, makes your heart race just a little more. You want that too. You really, really want that.

You can see it too; dinners out together back in Florida, hands entwined as you make your way back to the car, the picture of domesticity. There’s fire in that vision too though; heated kisses in the hallway just because, tangled together in sheets, savouring every touch, every sensation.

It feels like a future.

Sophie’s words have haunted you though. They pulled you out of slumber one too many times, floating in and out of your mind like the nagging anxiety you’ve left an iron on.

You feel more in control now though. Maybe it was a blessing after all, at least you have a plan now. A real plan.

It’s finally light outside, finally an acceptable time to get out of bed and start on with your day. It’s Lia’s wedding, it’s almost the end of your vacation.

You don’t want to go back. You want to stay here, with Frankie and all-inclusive catering and no work emails or worries about trivial things that seem larger than life - like font sizes. You want to wake up in his arms time and time again, live with travel sized bottles of shower gel and fresh white towels every day.

Exploring this though back home, back in Florida, is a little exciting. You can’t deny that you want to bring Frankie back into the mundane moments of your life; your new coffee maker, the diner that opened around the corner from your place where Clara loves the pancakes. Hell, even your bed’s new to him.

You ease Frankie’s arm from you delicately as you carefully and silently get out of bed.

Clara’s still snoring softly as you tiptoe past her, wrapping a robe around you as you open the terrace door carefully.

There’s less than forty hours left of your vacation. Soon you’ll be on a flight home, back to Florida and everything you’ve avoided thinking of since you stepped on this island.

You want this feeling, you want this peace. You want him.

Getting ready for a wedding has always felt stressful. You don’t want to wear the wrong colour, to not match the dress code in some way or to not fit in with everybody else. In a way, Lia’s wedding is easier because you’re part of her party and so as soon as you were dressed and your presentation to Frankie finished, you had made your way over to Lia’s room.

You feel nervous about seeing Sophia. Her words from the night before still sting and have wrapped themselves around your neck like barbed wire, nicking your skin and making your heart race.

You can prove her wrong. You will prove her wrong.

His lips are against your neck, hands skimming down the side of your body, up your back where his fingers lightly meet your skin.

“You’re supposed to be zipping this dress up, Frankie.”

“Mmhmm, but it’d look even prettier on the floor, right?”

You laugh. “That is so cheesy.”

“Made you laugh though.” He kisses you again, hands on your hips and drawing you closer against him before moving his hands higher so they graze against your breasts. Almost involuntarily, you moan as he knowingly distracts you from your task.

“Careful, Clara is in the next room. We’re supposed to be getting ready.”

“Okay, but I can’t do this when we go outside, so I need to make the most of it. Besides, you’ve got to agree, this is kinda fun, right? Like being teenagers again.”

“Is it wrong if I say that I really cannot imagine teenage Frankie?”

“That’s a good thing, baby, he was a menace.”

“Oh, really?”

“Mmhmm, he would not believe this is his life right now though,” Frankie says, a slight smirk on his face.

He pauses and looks at your reflection in the mirror carefully, clearly picking up on the worried expression, the nerves you cannot hide. “It’s going to be fine.”

“Promise?” you ask, even though you know he can’t assure of that, not really.

He kisses the side of head. “Promise.”

“Oh,” you say, “I’ve just remembered, I want to show you something.”

The two of you walk out of the bathroom where Clara is sitting on her bed and ensconced with her toys. She looks up briefly and waves, a bright smile on her face that mirrors her father’s smile perfectly, before turning attention back to her toys.

“What do you -"

Frankie starts as you root through your bag and pull out your tablet.

“Right,” you say, unlocking the screen and taking a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about how this can work, how we make it work when we get home.”

“Me too.”

“Good,” you say with a smile, “so I started building a plan.”

Frankie raises his eyebrow and looks over at the file you’ve opened as you wave the tablet in his direction. He takes the tablet and scrolls for a moment. “Baby, this is a spreadsheet.”

“I’m aware.”

“You built a spreadsheet?”

“I want us to be prepared. I built it for us.” Perhaps you should have opted for the business case template, or even powerpoint, instead. You were tempted, but you remembered after your break up the spreadsheet that had become your custody arrangements. You wanted a spreadsheet designed to rebuild instead, a response to that time, a demonstration of what’s changed. It felt right.

Now you wonder if perhaps your efforts were misguided, governed by a foolish desire to prove this was well thought through, that it made simple statistical sense.

“We’re on vacation and you built a spreadsheet?” Frankie looks astonished. “On your tablet?”

“I feel more … I think it’s better if we have a clear plan from the start.”

“Why do you have Excel on your tablet?”

“I … I thought it might come in handy. It clearly did.”

“You’ve colour coded each of our friends. Is this why you asked me when my lease ended when I woke up in the middle of the night?”

“Well, yes.” You pause, you’re never usually like this. Organisation is something you aspire to, with shining new diaries and planners each year that are always forgotten by February. You thought being a parent would help, but it turns out that Clara has just ended up fitting into your chaos, simultaneously draining any residual energy you might have had for planning. Your nerves have worked overtime this holiday though and the spreadsheet, well it seemed like a good idea at midnight.

“I - I think it’s great,” Frankie says carefully, “but did you sleep at all?”

“It really didn’t take that long.”

“There are formulas in there. Hey, are those formulas the magic ones that change?”

“Conditional formulas and formatting? Yes?”

“Fuck, if Will saw this …”

“He’d be annoyed there’s no pivot table.”

“I’m going to pretend I know what a pivot table is. Okay, okay, so walk me through the plan.”

“We’ll start with the gantt chart.”

“Right, so purely out of curiosity, how many charts are there in this thing?”

You pause and think for a moment. “Less than five.”

“Fuck me.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Well, listen to my presentation and then we’ll see.”

“At least you agree it’s a presentation.”

Lia wraps her arms around you tightly when you walk into the suite she’s getting ready in. She’s wrapped in a fluffy robe and she looks both radiant and nervous.

“How are you feeling, babe?”

“I’m good, I’m ready. I just - what if my dress suddenly doesn’t fit?”

“It will, and if it doesn’t, we’ll adapt.”

“Right.”

“We’ve got you.”

Lia takes a glug of her drink and smiles. “I’m getting married.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Okay, okay. This is going to be great.”

You can’t help but look over at Sophia before you say, “It is. It’s going to be perfect.”

Minutes turn quickly into hours. There’s all too much preparation, music playing, the smell of perfume and hairspray permeating the room. You focus on Lia, on her day, on helping it be as perfect as possible.

You don’t speak to Sophia, not even when she tries to catch your eye. She overstepped, and you can understand her pain, her own difficult memories coming to the forefront in this setting, but surely you can be petty just a little longer. Surely you can harmlessly sink into the hurt for just a little longer.

It does hurt. Not because of Sophia’s words, not just because of that.

It’s the way it’s made you feel since then. It’s the reason you spent the night formulating a business case of all things to justify Frankie and you reuniting. You want to prove her wrong, you want to show her she’s wrong, but it’s not out of spite. It’s out of that desperate, clawing need for her buy-in, for her approval. It’s fucked up.

It should just be you, Frankie and Clare, you know that. You shouldn’t feel this urge to turn everything up to 110% to prove Sophia wrong. You do though.

You’ll be the best bridesmaid today.

You’ll be the very best friend today.

You’ll bottle it all up, because you need her to know she was wrong, to come to your side instead. You’ll prove to her that you and Frankie can get it right this time

Sophia will eat her words.

It’s shifted slightly into something about her in your head now, not Lia, not even Frankie. You care too much and hate it. You’re furious with yourself for caring what she thinks, for not just being your own person.

Frankie crosses your mind in a welcome distraction from your spiral. A moment with him earlier, in your hotel room, you watched him laugh softly as he helped Clara with her shoes, his eyes full of love and when he met your gaze you noticed the way he shook his head, looking down and his shoulders moving with silent laughter once more. When he looked up, he looked right at you and it wasn’t that it reminded you of how things were before, of those heady days of new love. it was something different. Changed because of how you both have changed, but there was love, there was something real behind his expression. A promise of something in the future. Of a chance.

You’re ready for that chance too.

You take a sip of your drink, smiling at Lia as she delicately eyes her dress.

You’re not thinking about wedding. You’re thinking about what comes next.

The beach looks perfect. The sky is cloudless, radiating a comforting warmth that envelops you as you watch Lia and Benny exchanging vows.

She looks stunning. Her dress is covered in delicate embroidered flowers, in a way that’s not too fussy, that just fits her. It’s her smile though - incandescent with happiness, face glowing with a love that matches Benny’s gaze to her.

You could spend hours ruminating on the tragedy of you and Frankie falling apart. The pain it caused everyone, including yourself. For months, you wrapped yourself in the hurt, wore it like spiked armour, and rued the day you’d fallen for him. Despite all that, Benny and Lia found something, carving some hope and joy out of a time when you and Frankie couldn’t even look at one another.

Last night you were thinking about what it all meant if you fell back together with Frankie and now you realise it. It gave Benny and Lia something. It gave you and Frankie room to remould yourselves separately and know you two still have something.

It’s not about the hate or the pain, or the wedding you wrecked along the way.

It’s about love. Raw and painful but full of hope.

Frankie’s dressed in a crisp shirt, the top few buttons unbuttoned which makes you stifle a giggle when you realise. Is that man allergic to a fully buttoned shirt? He catches your eye for just a second and winks.

You feel your cheeks heat and you fixate on the bouquet you’re holding instead, on being a good bridesmaid.

Clara is next to you, holding her own mini bouquet and looking so excited to be here. She tugs no the edge of your dress, looking up at your expectantly as you shift yourself as subtly as you can so you can pick her up and let her wrap her arms around you.

The vows finish, the bride and groom kiss to cheers and everything just feels hopeful for a moment.

You notice Sophia wiping away a tear when she thinks no one is watching and as her words come back to the forefront of your mind, somehow they feel dampened.

Frankie walks over to you both.

“Hey Clara,” he says cheerfully, arms outstretched to take her.

“Daddy,” she cries happily, eagerly moving from one parent to the other.

Frankie doesn’t say anything to you. He doesn’t need to. His eyes are glowing with mischief, with the secrets between the two of you, with hope.

“It was lovely, wasn’t it?” you say idly.

“Yeah, it was,” he says softly, squeezing Clara for a second. “It really was.”

“Want to get down now,” Clara says.

Frankie laughs as he gently helps her down and the two of you watch her run through the sand toward where Santi and one of Lia’s cousins are talking.

People are starting to move away now, the hum of chatter growing quieter as people walk towards where the lunch will be served and reception held.

You both watch the ocean for just a moment, listening to the rhythmic ebb and flow of the waves reaching the shore and retreating.

Frankie slips his fingers into yours, entwining your fingers together. You lean fractionally, enough to feel the heat of his body, drink in the scent of his cologne. It’s different paired with the hotel shower gel, but it’s still Frankie.

“We should head back with the others,” he says softly, squeezing your hand slightly.

“Okay, just - just one more minute like this.”

Clara has been spending the meal running between you and Frankie, even though her chair is next to you. Frankie’s sat on Benny’s side of the table, while you’re closer to Lia and next to her cousin, another bridesmaid, who has been so bubbly and kind to you throughout the day. You can’t help but notice how carefully planned and choreographed this has all been - the consideration, and risk avoidance, of yours and Frankie’s separation is an unspoken theme in the wedding arrangements.

Lia’s cousin is nice though - what is her name? It’s something floral you’re sure. She has an infectious energy and you feel only slightly terrible that you’re glad you’re next to her and not Sofia. From the way she keeps glancing at Santi though , you have a feeling that both of them have specific plans for the evening. Good for both of them, you think.

Clara bounds over, almost tripping on her dress as she makes her way to you. You scoop her onto your lap, letting her hug you.

“Okay, I need to eat now,” she says confidently, letting you place her in her chair and immediately reaching for leftover bread.

“You two seem to really have it sorted,” she says.

“Oh yeah?”

“If I didn’t know, I’d have thought …” she trails off.

“So you and Santi, huh”

“What?” Her voice goes up an entire octave which makes you stifle a laugh.

“Santi’s a good guy.”

“I mean, I’m not looking for anything … that’s sounds terrible, doesn’t it?”

You shake your head. “Neither is he, so go for it. For what it’s worth, he’s been looking your way?”

“Really?”

You nod.

“Wow. Well, that’s uh, good to know. So, do you fly back tomorrow?”

“Sadly. I wish I could just stay.”

“Do you have far to fly?”

“Wisconsin.”

“That is um, very different to here.”

“I know, right? It’s been so good to have some sun and all of this around me. I think I’m designed for the warm.”

“You’d love Florida then.”

“I know Lia loves it there, but it’s funny because when she was little, we always talked about moving to New York and for her to have moved to Florida instead, and to be so happy, I guess it’s just funny how things work out.”

“Tell me about it,” you say, thinking for a second of your own journey. Of the job you’re never sure if you love, but you enjoy the freedoms it gives you. You think of the man you thought would be forever and then never, only to fall back together again. You think about the life you’ve built yourself which feels so different to the one you thought you’d have.

You wouldn’t change it though.

Not here. Not right now.

The sky is streaked with pink and yellow hues reflecting the warmth of the day and making everything feel softer. There’s still enough heat for you to kick off your heels and luxuriate in the last rays of the day.

The dancing has started early. Lia and Benny had picked a song that worked for them for their first dance. So often first dances feel too saccharine for you, your least favourite part of a wedding - you joke it’s trauma from a deluge of Ed Sheeran or too practiced harmonies. Instead, this was them to a tee: joyful, fun, alive.

You watch as Clara dances with Santi, her tiny hands reaching up and pure glee on her face. She loves dancing - you won’t be able to get her off the floor until it’s time to drop her off with the sitter.

Sophia sits next to her, placing her glass down and looking at you with a mixture of wariness and worry.

“I want to clear the air,” she says after a moment. “I was - I meant well but I didn’t think, I didn’t think about it might hurt you. I think this wedding has bought up a lot for me.”

“It’s understandable,” you say gently. “And I appreciate the gesture now.”

Sophia sighs. “I really can’t watch you both fall apart again.” She twists her hands together. “It was scary, it was so awful to watch.”

For a moment the presentation you prepared, the spreadsheets of scenario analysis and careful planning come to your mind. You’re ready to defend yourself this time though. To prove to Sophia you and Frankie are right together.

She made you cry, you have to prove her wrong.

Why? A voice in your head asks. Why does her opinion matter so much?

“I don’t think we will,” you say, looking out at the sea, “Not this time. And don’t worry, I wont bother you if we do.”

Sophia whispers your name, taken aback by your matter of fact tone.

“We’re still friends, Sophia, but too much has happened between us, right?” Some wounds take longer to heal, perhaps one day it will feel more like it used to, but after last night it became clear that neither of you have truly healed from her wedding and she seems to have only just realised that herself.

You’re trying though. You have to try.

You can’t choose a life of bitterness, you can only move forward and get lost in hope instead.

“No, I -” There’s abject horror on Sophia’s face as she meets your gaze. “We -”

“I’m right. I understand why you resent what happened at your wedding, but the blame equally lies on Frankie and it was one short moment in a beautiful day. Such a beautiful day. Perhaps - perhaps it hurt everyone so much at the time because you’d couldn’t pretend he hadn’t relapsed anymore, that things weren’t normal. I don’t know. I don’t actually fucking care any more. It’s the past. I realised something watching Benny and Lia.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I don’t want to focus on the hurt anymore.”

“I don’t either,” she admits finally.

“Okay then.” You place your empty glass down. “I’m going to check on Clara. I think she’s tiring out her Tio Santi with her dance moves.”

The evening has set in now. Candles and warm lights illuminate paths and tables. You can hear the band still playing in the distance as you let Frankie guide you against the white washed wall and you melt into his kiss.

His hands cupping your jaw, moving down to your collarbone, your waist. His lips on yours, confident and enrapturing as you pull him tighter against you.

You can taste the sweetness of the soda he’s been drinking on his tongue, smell the hint of cigar smoke on his clothes - a tradition he assured you he decided not to partake in, not this time.

Your heart is racing, the sound of blood pumping in your ears. This is so right. So natural.

Your bodies, your minds, everything about you and Frankie feels right together, feels whole.

You don’t hear the footsteps, don’t hear the sound of anything but the moment.

“Holy fuck."

You hear that, immediately breaking apart. Frankie’s standing a little away from you, worry creasing his brow.

“Hi Benny,” he says casually.

“What are you doing here?”

Frankie looks at Benny and Lia, hand in hand and then at you. “Probably the same thing you wanted to.”

“What about - oh my god, oh wow, it’s - wow!” Lia says, noticing that Frankie is with you, that you’re loitering in the shadows, gaze transfixed to the floor.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to ruin your wedding,” you say quickly. Not another one. Not again.

You feel Frankie’s arm around your waist, gentle motions of his hand to calm you, to bring you back and ground you.

“Why do you think you’re ruining my wedding?” Lia asks, her hands on her hip.

You stumble on your words, stuttering out nonsensical syllables and stop, mouth agape and feeling lost. “Why wouldn’t I be ruining your wedding?” you ask in a small voice.

Frankie mutters under his breath, you think you catch a couple of curse words but you’re not show.

“Oh sweetie,” Lia says, moving towards you, disentangling you from Frankie and bringing you into a gentle embrace. “You’re not ruining my wedding. God, I’ve been thinking this’ll happen all week - I just had a sense you two weren’t over yet.”

“You did?”

“Benny and I have a bet on it. I win.”

“A bet?” Frankie asks, raising his eyes at Benny who holds his hands up.

“Yeah, thanks for that one, guys. Seriously, Lia and I just both picked up there was some unresolved - stuff between you two.”

“You don’t think it’s a mistake, that we’re … a storm or in a vacation bubble?” you ask nervously.

You notice how Frankie closes his eyes just for a second at your question, how the worry radiates for just a moment.

“I think we’re all in a vacation bubble, right?” Benny says. “We’re in a wedding bubble too, but it’s all -” ”Bubbles,” Lia interjects.

“it doesn’t mean it’s not real though. Doesn’t mean you two can’t work at home again. I mean, you’re going to take things slow right?”

“Right. We have a plan.”

Frankie laughs. “There’s a spreadsheet, with formulas and a pant chart.”

“Gantt chart,” you correct automatically.

“It’s terrifying actually.”

“That is … something,” Benny says with a low whistle.

“So you have a plan and you’re taking it slow and you’re happy. That’s good, that’s great. Can you just give me today for me to be a little selfish,” she adds lightly. “Please?”

“Absolutely,” you say. “Trust me, I don’t want any more attention at this wedding.”

Lia laughs, pulls you in tighter for a second and whispers, “When we get back from honeymoon, I want to hear everything.”

The airport is crowded. This time, your flight wasn’t the one that was delayed however it’s unfortunately landed at the same time as another delayed flight and the baggage hall is heaving. Throngs of people, desperate to get home or start their own vacation swarm the hall.

Santi, Will and Sophia’s cases have already arrived. You watch as they awkwardly shift, waiting for yours and Frankie’s luggage to arrive so the group of you can start your goodbyes.

The flight was such a different experience to the journey out.

“Do you need to share our uber?” Santi asks Frankie.

“Nope, we travelled together with Clara. Split the car parking.”

“Very practical. Your idea?” Santi asks you.

“Nope, that was all Frankie.”

He shrugs, a fake modest smirk growing on his face. “Do you guys want to head on then?”

“Probably.” Santi smiles at you both. “back to reality, huh?”

It doesn’t feel with you dread though. Not at this moment.

“it had to happen sometime,” you say placidly, noticing that Clara’s now tugging at your leg. You lift her up, let her wrap her arms around Santi for a moment.

“Bye tio Santi,” she says.

“Bye sweetheart.” Santi says with a soft smile. “Good to see you too.”

You grin. “Yeah, it was. Actually, things worked pretty well.”

He looks at Frankie and then you knowingly. “I bet.” He raises his eyebrows, making no comment or judgement but his eyes are alight with mischief, with something close to happiness for you both.

You feel steadier with each moment like this.

Santi waves as he joins Sophia and Will, who you’d already exchanged goodbyes with, and the three of them head out.

You watch the suitcases whir around the conveyor belt. “Our luggage is coming, right?”

“Absolutely. It’s going to be the last bags though, pretty sure of that."

“Just our luck.”

Frankie smirks, gently moving a twisted strap around your handbag before whispering, “If Clara couldn’t see, I’d be kissing you now.”

“Oof, don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you tease, before pointing at a familiar case. “Frankie, it’s finally here."

You watch Frankie grab your suitcase as Clara rests her head on your shoulder.

“Home soon?” she asks.

“Absolutely.”

“Okay."

There are so many conversations for you and Frankie, so many hurdles to overcome. You don’t need to worry about those now though.

You’re noticing the way Frankie’s eyes seem brighter than before, the way his smile is so broad as he joins you again.

His hand is right next to yours and your fingers brush against each other. You take his hand, letting him entwine fingers with you as Clara rests on your other side

Maybe this week wasn’t such a bad idea after all?

“Let me drive you both home,” he says gently.

“Only if you stay tonight,” you say.

“Is that in the spreadsheet?”

“Would you let that go? I just meant, it is late and the roads can be dangerous and as far as Clara knows, you can sleep on the sofa. Or in the bath.”

He shakes his head at the memory of the debate on the first night of the vacation. “Well, that does sounds enticing, doesn’t it? It seems like it would be irresponsible for me not to stay.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, don’t want be setting a bad example for this munchkin, do we? Let’s head home then.”

Home, that sounds like a good idea right now.

Tag List

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Everything Pedro tag-list: @harriedandharassed@pedrostories@hiroikegawa @pedrosaidsheispunk @pastelnap

[gayferrari]

I’m going through your sebmark recs and wanted to know could you do another list for brocedes?

WOPS sorry this is so late, I saved it to the drafts and it slipped my mind. This is pretty varied; I hope there's something new-to-you to enjoy!

on the faultline by @monacotrophywife. Multichapter; Brocedes through the years. Sort of canon-compliant until it isn't. Rated E.

so many fics by @lost-decade — they're mostly older works, I remember reading a few back when and then I revisited them this year and they still hit. some of my faves:

All That You Can't Leave Behind. AU where Nico goes to university instead of racing and eventually becomes an F1 engineer

an empty space to fill in. PWP + character study, silver war era

traviamento. In 2004 Nico invites Lewis on holiday with him and Vivian

constellation falling into place by wraysford. Speaking of AUs where Nico goes to university. This is set in 2007 during Lewis's rookie season. Rated T; some angst + getting together.

post 2016 AUs

and it feels good (to be known so well) by @gokartkid. Lewis forgets his apartment keys. Guess who might have a spare copy from years ago. Rated M. tagged: the emotional complexity of living in the same building as your childhood friend-lover-enemy-rival

dirty valentine by @sionisjaune. fic series, ongoing, established relationship post 2022. Includes 4 complete one-shots, mostly rated E.

fresh old mistakes by bestliars. Abu Dhabi 2021. Sometimes u lose a championship fight and fuck your ex about it. Rated E.

hall pass by @/monacotrophywife. Brocedes but make it 2023 and Nico's wife is okay with sharing. Rated E.

Lemon, Ginger and Honey by witchee_writer. Feel-good 2022 season AU; getting back together. Rated T.

remember to forget me by @12romy. Amnesia AU! what if you got hit in the head and forgot just how rancid your situationship became? Set in 2021.

RULE 63 / genderfuckery

desire unfolds by bestliars. girl Lewis/Nico. Rated E. tagged: anal sex, first time, catholicism.

if I get too close by @/monacotrophywife. that one trope where a driver wakes up temporarily turned into a cis woman and needs to have sex to go back to normal :) temporarily a girl! Lewis / Nico ft. repression like woah. Rated E.

want you to be my girl by @/sionisjaune. f/f. Rated E. underage. fisting. check out THIS FANART ALSO.... PLEASE.... (nsfw)

brocedes-adjacent — threesome fics + fics where Lewis or Nico fuck somebody else about their issues.

I hesitated to put these on the list because they aren't Nico/Lewis BUT they are on-theme, they're all very good, and it's my post so why should I limit myself. But skip if it's not your vibe!

[Sebcedes] only bad thing about a star is they burn up by @blorbocedes, Nico/Lewis/Seb; au where nico retires after 2016 and him and lewis get married. Rated M. (If you like this sebcedes vibe + Rule 63 I also enjoyed their challengers AU with f!Lewis)

[Sebcedes] double or nothing by @grideon. Nico wins the Monaco Grand Prix. Even better: Lewis doesn't. Rated M.

[fics with past / background brocedes] If you're down for fics where they fuck somebody else while the Past Relationship Looms, I enjoyed these both as rarepair fics but also bc of the Former Brocedes of it all: my kind’s your kind by @/monacotrophywife (Nico/Charles) & the price of the prodigy by @saff-rons (Lewis/Max)

that's all! (for now) if you enjoy drop the authors a line etc. sorry again this took forever

[absolutebl]

Do you have any recent recommendations for JBL TaiwanBL and KBL? Been rewatching only bls from 2021 2022 and I feel like I'm out of the loop for the more recent ones.

Maybe something from this year or late last year?

Great JBL, TaBL, and KBL from 2023 & first half 2024

asker added:

Genre = mostly anything. But pls avoid homophobic trauma (like Jazz for Two).

Fair. Okay here we go!

2023 Recs!

I picked mostly 9s and 10s for you with a few 8s I felt specifically might suit your taste.

I Cannot Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai

Japan Netflix

This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen.

Our Dating Sim

Korea Viki

This is a perfect short form KBL, an office set reunion romance featuring geeks that really suits 8 eps with no fluff and no chaff. Just comforting and yummy. I adored every aspect from the casting to the pristinely simple premise to the quietly smooth execution. Sure it’s low stakes, but that makes it high domesticity and extremely warm and gentle. This is a fuzzy blanket of a story - a cozy BL. It lives in my rewatch pile and you know what’s best about it? Every single episode is in that pile. There’s no skipping with this one, it might be good natured and calmly sweet but it’s tight and the pacing is excellent.

I don't hand out 10/10 often (over 700 BLs watched, stil don't hvae 10 10/10s yet), these both got that from me in 2023. I consider both of them perfect BLs.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho

Japan Gaga

This style of live action yaoi really only works from Japan. Basically: boys who fell in love in college end up living together but both are so repressed they actually don't realize they're in love. It's higher heat than we usually get from Japan's HEA stuff, and that part is also very well done, but it leaned into the "why don't they just talk for fuck's sake?" trope which is only exacerbated into undiluted frustration by the fact that they're already fucking. It's great, but watching requires more patience than usual, even for Japan.

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku

Japan Gaga

A lonely salaryman (+ talented cook) gets accidentally adopted by a college kid and his little brother. I was always gonna love this show if they stuck to the original yaoi (which is very dear to my heart). And they did! Paralleling it almost exactly. It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me as the best of what Japan can do with softness (like Restart After Come Back Home). It’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, but that's OK with me. This is a very safe show for anyone to watch.

Jun and Jun

Korea Viki

A delightful office romance about an ex-idol who joins cubical life only to find his new boss is his first love. Others boys are sniffing around too. Operative word being "sniffing" as much of this romance involves smell. With a snappy (sometimes even raunchy) script, enjoyable sides, a pretty as peaches cast, and descent chemistry this show made up for in style what it lacked in substance. I like fluff. I loved this. I smiled every moment I was watching. With tons of rewatch potential (especially the last few eps), my only caution is this is for fans of the BL genre only, I don’t think it’ll work for anyone else.

Love Tractor

Korea iQIYI

Most of this country-set BL had me feral for the beautiful broken city boy and his hot young farmer. Hyung romance, puppy/cat pairing, open frankness meets jaded reserve, language play, water hose frolicking, only one bed, just all my favorite tropes. This show was basically a light-weight Restart After Come Back Home and I’m not even slightly mad about that. But (and you knew there was a “but” comg) something about the cringe of the final 2 eps and the impermanence of the ending (both of which highlight the fact that ultimately these 2 are I’ll-suited: too different and too far apart) left me with the feeling that they probably won’t last as a couple. However, in this case, rare for me, I forgive it this finale for my love of the rest.

The New Employee

Korea Viki

So good, SO QUEER, so soft, a near pitch perfect office BL with conflict derived from that setting. Also found family and a lesbian bestie. Sweet & innocent (and out) Seung Hyun scores the office internship of his dreams. On his first day at work he gets into it with his cool reserved (and also v gay) boss. As you do. Frankly? This is what I wanted from this new crop of office set KBLs ALL ALONG. Rainbow rice cakes forever! Directed by queer activist Kim Jho Gwang Soo (Just Friends?) partly set in the same neighbourhood as the To My Star house. Gotta love WATCHA (Semantic Error, Light on Me).

Unintentional Love Story

Korea iQIYI

OMG the plot, forced into a totally understandable betrayal, falling in love despite himself, put into a corner he can't get out of, the AGONY, the eyes EMOTING at us in PAIN A boy who just lost his job due to faked corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss's favorite artist, now a recluse. Evil manager offers him his job back if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. I found the artist a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is a fucking GIFT - he carried this show (which I do not expect from the idol element). He was lumous with extraordinarily expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict, social tension and pressure is complex and beautifully executed, plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya). I’m not sure on rewatchability, and it didn’t whip me into a verbal frenzy the way some KBLs do, but it still gets a solid 9/10 for those damn eyes alone.

A Breeze of Love

Korea iQIYI

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it. 

Bon Appetit

Korea iQIYI

Romance between an office worker the man from his past next door who cooks well. It was very sweet and cute tale of food as love in the All the Liquors family of KBL. I’m not wild about it, I did enjoy it, I was happy to have it show up on my dash, but ultimately it will simply become one of the KBL crowd.

Why R U?

(Korean adaptation of Thai original) iQIYI

Korea decided to remake, of all possible Thai BLs, Why RU? And that is exactly what we got: a short form, clean & pretty, slightly confusing, uneven chemistry, all the same tropes KBL that kind of cliff-noted the original but with none of the heat or complex relationship dynamics. I just … what world is this? Because it is BOTH bizarro land, and EXACTLY what I expected. How do I rate it? In the end I have to go back to simple questions: did I like it, would I rewatch it, and would I recommend it? Yes. Probably. And probably not. What the actual hell?

It did, however win my best kiss of 2023 which is why it's on this list.

Stay By My Side

Taiwan Viki

I wanted to pick SOMETHING from Taiwan but my other two options both had lots of trauma in them. So I'm going with this one.

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity.

And some suggestions from 2024

I'm only suggesting stuff that has finished it's run and isn't currently airing.

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka

Japan Gaga

The promise of this show, younger cook courts older divorced office worker, should have been my catnip. I mean if someone pitched this to me in an elevator I would have downloaded it by the second storey. Unfortunately, it did not exactly fulfill that promise, not in the way I'd hoped. Did I still enjoy the ride, yes, but I feel just a little let down.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu

Japan Gaga

Kindly Ryota goes to uni and ends up rooming with his former childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend for, as it turns out, cute roommate reasons. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake, the framing is gorgeous and it is a stylish piece. As a friends to lovers cohabitation narrative this was a classic 2000s sweet yaoi. I enjoy that kind of tradition out of Japan even if it (and the characters) come off as a little slow as a result. Still, it's nice to get a traditional BL out of Japan that is satisfying, not slapstick, AND did not hurt us.

[svmjaeyvn]

love maze, s.jy.

chapter six pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: tbd (series)

masterlist

add yourself to the taglist here!

genre: college!au, mutual friends, fake dating, smut.

synopsis: an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.

or, your life gets intertwined with a rich boy’s in attempt to not get sued by his crazy personal fangirl and like with all good cliches, sex overcomplicates things.

contents: smut, sort of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers pipeline, childhood best friend!jay, mentions of best friend! yunjin, curly haired & mixed reader, uni!au, rich nepo baby!jake, enha frat boys, lots of kissing, fake dating turning into fwb real quick, totally way too into it for it to be fake early on, big booty reader that’s jake’s obsessed with, partying and alcohol use, slight violence, he fell first and harder trope, stem bf & writer gf, (kinda overly) possessive jake, some angst to spice things up, daddy issues, hyper independent reader who struggles with her feelings, fluff and happy ending!!

a/n: hello~ i’ve never been a tumblr girly but i have went through my w*ttpad era back in 2018 so bare with me y’all. this will be a series but not that long (i hope) so pls look forward to it. warning tags will be placed before each “chapter” to specify what to expect. pls pls reblog and interact, i’d love to have feedback and see what your thoughts are. okay! yay, for now enjoy and thank you sm :D

MDNI, 18+

tap below to continue

CHAPTER SIX: EXS

previous masterlist next

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, kisses, calling minjun a stalker, protective jay and ni-ki

a/n: not a lot of jake in this one i know but i have to make a plot and conflict yall 😩 adding in bbg riki and some more best friend!jay pls enjoy

           "HOW MANY TIMES have I told you to wear the gloves when you do the dishes?" You tsk, delicately wrapping the small gash that ran along Ni-ki's, the newest trainee at your work, hand. He sheepishly smiled, tilting his head in the smallest of ways.

"Sorry noona," He mumbled out, embarrassed by his third time sitting like a kid being scolded due to his clumsiness. "I needed the steaming pitcher so I just reached in the sink and didn't see realize the tongs were so sharp,"

You shake your head with mock disappointment though a small smile perked at your lips nonetheless. With the middle of the semester rolling around, most freshmen had found themselves finding a rhythm with balancing their school lives enough to find a part time job. You've seen numerous come and go, Cho— your generous manager who was the sweetest old lady that ran the cafe, always took them in for at least a short amount of time.

Ni-ki was your favorite thus far, always listening intently (to everything aside from the dishwashing) and picked up the skills relatively fast. Respectful but also comfortable enough to joke around with, the two of you had become a dynamic duo in closing four days out of the week together.

Of course he was still a boy, a young and partially annoying one at that but he reminded you of your younger brother, weaseling his way in having a soft spot in your heart even though it had only been two weeks.

"Okay now we switch, you run the front I'll clean up back here," Satisfied with your makeshift bandaging, you shoo the younger boy along who rolled his eyes but nonetheless disappeared from the back of the house. Cleaning up the medical kit and barely managing to slip on your gloves to handle the load of piling dishes, you noticed his head poke in around the corner.

"Someone would like to talk to you," He hums before disappearing once more, not giving you enough time to determine whether it was a good talk or bad one in having to handle the customers. With a small sigh, you make your way to the front, prepped for the worst but your tension dissolves seeing your bright smiled best friend leaning over the pastry case.

"Off the glass," You warn, making your way to the register where Ni-ki stood with a goofy smile. Jay reluctantly stands himself up straight, pouting seeing as you didn't greet him with the same warmth he was expecting.

"That's not very good customer service, where's ajumma Cho? I'd like to file a complaint," Jay tuts, peering around the store though he knew well enough it was only you and Ni-ki in the building. The younger boy lets out a small snort, used to his antics in the past two weeks of running into each other and forming a budding friendship through their mutual teasing over you.

Rolling your eyes, you lean against the counter expectantly. "What'd you need Jay?"

"I can't just come say hi?" He pouts, seemingly offended by your words while he shakes his head. "I haven't seen you in days teeny, you've been too busy with your boyfriend to give me any attention now,"

"I saw you when we had lunch," You deadpan, finding his dramatics amusing though you knew the mess that occupied the back room needed tending to before you were forced to stay late. "Seriously, I actually have work to do today so I can't talk—"

"I'll help!" Jay volunteers, the same boxy smile on his lips while you shake your head. "What? I've done stuff before! I'm bored and want to hang out, let me help. It'll show me what you broke college students do everyday to survive and stuff,"

"Let rich boy do the dishes," Ni-ki interjects, rolling his eyes at his ladder sentence though it was all in playful manner.

"As long as I get to wear an apron," Jay agrees, pointing a finger at the coffee brown colored uniform piece you had to wear.

It was a temping offer, and he wasn't wrong. Typically you had him clean the menus or refill caramel bottles whenever he wanted to be like a kid and help out but you really did dread washing dishes. With a reluctant sigh, you nodded your head and not even a split second later, Jay had made his way around the counter to the employees side.

"This is exciting," He hums, following you to the back while you reach into the locker cubbies, pulling out one of the spare aprons left just in case anyone needed it. Jay slips it over his head, securing the strings behind his waist while you point toward the far end of the room. His excitement visibly deflates seeing the mountain of items waiting to be cleaned, the cherry on top being the empty dishes Ni-ki waltzed in with a genuine smile of content as he added to it.

"Have fun princess," You laugh, patting his shoulder as you walked by and with some reluctance, Jay made his way to begin without a word of protest much to your surprise. Having far more time to do your tasks, you began with the inventory. Going through the store and marking down the amounts had while Ni-ki continued to clean and restock due to the end of the night approaching, it was peaceful with the younger boy taking hold of the aux to play his own music now opposed to the cafe playlist.

A few minutes passed without any words, finding comfortable silence and both of you working on your own things before the jingle from the front door indicated someone coming inside. "Welcome in," You called out, not bothering to look up from the fridge you were bent down beside while Ni-ki headed for the register to attend the guest.

"Hey," You stiffen at the familiar voice. Pausing in your count, you stare at the half empty milk carton in the fridge, waiting for the person to speak again, praying it wasn't what you thought. "Sorry man, is ___ here?" With a deep sigh, your head falls down. Ni-ki peers to the side, giving you a questionable glance noticing your reaction and unaware of what to respond with.

Sending him a half smile, you stand up properly, exposing your hidden figure behind the counter. You make eye contact with Minjun, void of emotion and placing the fakest of smiles onto your lips as you spoke. "How can I help you?" Decidedly going with the faux customer service route, you place the book down you were previously using to record while his eyes trail over your figure.

"Hi," Was all he spoke, almost hesitant and you had to hold everything in you to not roll your eyes. "You're a manager here now?"

"Yeah stuff changes over a year," You respond dryly, not particularly seeing the point in his attempt in a conversation. Ni-ki lingered, seemingly wiping at the warming station but he listened carefully, aware of how unenthusiastic you seemed and found it best to stay close just in case with how stiff the air seemed. "Something you need from me?"

Minjun opens his mouth only to close it twice over. Not having the proper words to say, he purses his lips. "I've been wanting to see you," Was all he could come up with, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. "Heard you still worked here and figured it'd be the best place to find you,"

"Yunjin told you to leave me alone and that I didn't want to talk," You reiterate, sending him a pointed look while he nods along. "So you came to my place of work knowing I didn't want to see you," Another nod. "Yeah, think that's called stalking,"

Ni-ki stiffens up at your words. "Noona," He mumbles, coming up significantly closer to your side while you shake your head. Ni-ki was tall, significantly more than you and a majority of the male population was shorter than him but he was still a kid. Besides, you didn't need any protection, Minjun wasn't a dangerous guy, just an idiot.

You hold up your hand, silently telling him that everything was fine. Reluctantly, he backed away, though he still lingered and his eyes stayed glued to Minjun who stood on the opposite side of the counter.

"I just wanted to talk," Minjun starts, voice seemingly sincere but you shake your head.

"There's nothing to talk about,"

"No means no dipshit, did you forget kindergarten rules already?" Jays' loud voice interrupted the stiff air, the attention brought to him as he emerged from the back room, a drying towel being throw over his shoulder and his apron slightly damp at the waist. He makes his way beside you, arms folded across his chest and puffing out the muscle and veins that peaked out from his rolled up sleeves. You nearly let out a laugh seeing the tough guy act your best friend pulled, almost wanting to take out your phone and take a picture but you had to admit, Jay was intimidating when he wanted to be.

"Lovely to see you again too Jongseong," Minjun sighs, plastering on a more than fake smile at the man who always expressed his distaste over him even when you were together. "Didn't think you'd be a part-time cafe guy,"

"You gonna order or not?" Jay cuts to the point, his patience thin enough as it was and especially with people he didn't like. You made a mental note to applaud him for being mean for once.

"If I order will you go away so I can talk to ___?"

"She has a boyfriend," Ni-ki interjects, standing beside Jay who nods along. "Plus she doesn't like you, so I can either take your order or you can leave,"

Minjun's eyes flicker to you once more. "A boyfriend," He repeats. "Thought you told Yunjin to tell me that just to get rid of me,"

"Not everything's about you man," Jay rolls his eyes, quick to answer for you. "Being desperate doesn't really work for you,"

"How long?" He ignores Jays jabs, eyes focused on you while you shrug. "Recent right, considering you haven't posted anything about him,"

"You really are a stalker," Ni-ki grimaces, not knowing the full details but hearing enough to make his judgements.

Sending the two behind you pointed looks, silently telling them that you'd handle it, you look back at Minjun with a small sigh. "It's not really any of your business, is it?"

"Well with me you were all about posting stories and making sure I posted you so it's just surprising,"

Narrowing your eyes, you pick at the skin of your nails at your side, something that Jay took note of in your old habits whenever you grew irritated. "Things change. Being with a guy who provides reassurance and treats you well does wonders," You hum, no longer bothering with decorum. "I don't have time to go back and forth with you. If you want to order they'll help you, if not, leave,"

Without giving him time to protest, you made your way to the back of the building ensuring he wouldn't be able to follow. Jay was quick to tag along leaving Ni-ki to fend for himself but knowing the young boy would be fine.

"He's fucking insane," Jay rambles as soon as the two of you were out of sight and behind the door that separated the front from the back. "To think that after all the shit he put you through you'd just, welcome him back? Delusional ass who doesn't know how to take no for an answer apparently—"

You nod along, taking a seat in the plush chair that was tucked away in the corner of the room beside the desk. You stared at the ground, focusing on counting the tile patterns allowing for Jay to ramble as he paced around the room. Taking note of your unusual silence, he stops mid step to look at you, a small sigh leaving his lips seeing how your bottom lip was tucked between your teeth and how you continued to pick at your hands.

Leaning down in front of you, Jay squats as his hands find way to your knees, leaning against you and forcing your line of vision to be filled by him. "You okay teeny?" He asks softly, the look of pity one you remember all too well and not what you wanted.

"I'm fine," You respond. And you were, for the most part. You just couldn't deal with your own emotions and Jay going back to treating you like a fragile piece of glass, it was exhausting enough having him be as attentive as he was in general. "Seriously, I'm fine. He's not worth my time anymore J, I just hope he got the hint and won't come back,"

Jay nods along, giving your knee a small squeeze in reassurance while you click your tongue. The door swings open, Ni-ki poking his head in the frame. "He left," The younger boy reassures, a small smile sent your way. "Am I allowed to ask noona?"

He looked concerned, an expression you had yet to see from Ni-ki and it emphasized just how young he seemed in your eyes with the innocent gleam. Gesturing for him to take a seat, you lean back in the chair while Jay settles himself on the ground. Peering up at the security cameras, ensuring to have a clear view of anyone were to walk in, you begin your story.

"Buckle up kid, you're getting a whole new level of lore from me tonight,"

           "THIS IS SUCH bullshit," Jay huffs, eyes focused behind you as he takes a rather large bite of the apple he had been holding for the past ten minutes. "I can't believe he transferred back,"

"You know, it's kind of heartwarming how upset you are for me," You tease, significantly less worked up over the situation although it was less than ideal.

"No I agree, he's a fucking asshole," Yunjin adds, shooting daggers with looks that could kill causing you to raise a brow. "What? I hate him. We're not even really related, my aunt is divorcing his uncle and I only hung out with him cause of her so now it's free range since he's being a weird idiot,"

"Are we talking shit?" Sunoo draws the attention to himself, placing his bag down and smiling brightly as he clasped his hands under his chin. "Who about?" He sing-songs, voice dripping like honey and a grin that seemed so innocent but the content behind it was entirely different.

"Her stalker,"

"Whose stalker?" Heeseung interjects, Sunghoon trailing behind him to join the ever growing table. Jay and Yunjin's fingers immediately point toward you, silently answering his question causing the older boys brows to frown. "What happened now?"

As you opened your mouth to explain, a rather loud one cut you off once again. "Noona!" Ni-ki calls out, voice booming as he made his way toward you with Jungwon leading. Rather obviously pointing in the direction you spoke of, his eyes were wide seeing Minjun on the other end of the plaza with his own group of friends. "What the hell is he doing here?" The youngest asks as they reached the table, now having all curiosity peaked of those out of loop.

"Who?" With the last member of the group joining, Jake smiled widely as he weaseled his way beside you, placing a quick peck to your cheek as he sat.

"Everyone here now so I can talk?" You ask aloud, glancing over the group and doing a quick headcount. Over the past week, with the concept of you and Jake being together, your friend group had merged with his. Well your two friends, one of which you shared already, had joined in with Jake's while Ni-ki had been recently adopted in after finding Jungwon and him shared a general ed class. You had to admit, it was nice having more people to talk to, your life had certainly become more interesting in the best of ways.

"Do tell," Sunoo urges, far too excited to know more as the certified gossip of the group, though he was always the best at giving advice so it was two sides of the same coin.

"My ex transferred back here," You finally say with a small shrug. Jake tensed up from beside you, his brows pinching together as he leaned in closer to listen to your explanation. "He came by my work the other day trying to talk and I told him to get lost and then now he's here,”

"He's weird," Ni-ki adds in, his face pinched with disgust as he shook his head. "Desperate stalker behavior,"

"Who is it?" Sunghoon asked, looking in the general direction Jay pointed in but not particularly locking in on anyone.

"Kang Minjun," Yunjin answered without missing a beat.

Jake lets out a scoff, leaning closer into your side. "He's a fucking prick. Came into class today and wouldn't shut up during the lecture," Taking hold of the unpeeled orange you had left since it seemed like far too much work at the time, he peeled the skin off without a word, holding out the first piece to you before popping one into his mouth. "Professor Choi loved it, annoying as fuck when most of us just come since attendance is mandatory even though it's a gen-ed class,"

"We're the same year, he had always been popular," Heeseung shrugged. "Definitely annoying considering he used his looks for basically everything and acted cocky all the time,"

"The pretty one?" Sunoo asks, glancing around while he gained a few pointed looks for the comment. "What? My bad I've never seen him before," He pouts, hands up to show his lack of defense.

"Stalker," Ni-ki reminds, entirely ambient on making it knowing for everyone how uncomfortable he was to be around. "Doesn't matter what he looks like, he's still a weirdo,"

Jungwon lets out a small snort at his comments while Heeseung suddenly changes the subject. The conversation topic switching over to plans of a staycation in the near future while Jake absentmindedly holds out the last slice of orange for you to take.

“He comes over here and I’m throwing this apple at his head,” Jay warns, holding up the partially bitten fruit causing you to grimace.

“I don’t think he’s that dumb,” Sunghoon snickers. “And that’s gross, you can see all your teeth marks,”

“Who cares?” Jay retorts, beginning to bicker as the two change the topic for the second time in a near minute. Everyone else following along, paying no mind and rather comfortable in one another’s company.

You felt Jake’s arm wrap around your shoulders, pulling you closer to his side as he leans down to your ear. “You alright?” He mumbles, breath fanning against your skin causing you to shiver but nonetheless nod along.

You pull away slightly, enough to see his face while a small smile peaked at the corners of your lips. You had to admit, it wasn’t ideal and made you exhausted having to deal with your past. You put on a brave face, one enough for the others but for some reason, Jake could see through it more than you knew.

He let out a small sigh, a lingering kiss placed to the crown of your head as he did so. “You’re alright,” Jake spoke, the words intended to reassure you, fully certain of it for your sake and that seemed to be more than enough to help your nerves for the time being.

Letting out a puff of air, you allow yourself to melt into his side, settling in comfortably as your head tucked itself below his chin, leaned into his chest and arms caged around you for extra support. Your attention was brought back to the rest of your friends, eyes meeting with Yunjin who sat with an amused expression being one of the ones who knew everything while Heeseung had his nose scrunched up with disgust.

“I hate couples,”

my tags!! @slutforsjy @jaklvbub @whowantshota @addictedtohobi @coolwitu @simjyunnie @kgneptun @graythecoffeebean @143ikeu @zyvlxqht @tesywesy @nxzz-skz @aishisgrey @missmischief1408

( pls make sure your settings make you applicable to tag )

[andrea-lyn]

Roswell New Mexico - Master Fic Rec Post

See under the cut for thirty-four total recs, predominantly Malex. There's also 10 additional in the "Recs Less Travelled" project here.

a few drinks and some conversation by @christchex

Michael Guerin makes a friend who isn’t his sibling, an ex, or a sibling’s ex.

Astriferous Sea by hrhbrittany, Sismyn

Alex has always been the baby among the sirens in the Dead Sea. Michael is performing beard services for his sister. Communication is a little wishy-washy.

This AU came out of nowhere and smacked me right with the ��I’ve always wanted this and I just never knew’. It has sirens and rescues and bad guys and false relationships and real marriages and rings and drama and romance. It honestly reminds me (in the best way) of an exciting romance novel and I’m so jazzed there’s still one part left to it.

The Bachelor by Sweetgirl2019

After the events of high school, Michael, Isobel & Max moved to California while Liz, Maria & Kyle stayed in Roswell and Alex went to war overseas. Once his enlistment period ends, Alex gets thrown into something that brings him and Michael back together again.

So I think this might be my favourite to see updated right now. It should be a run-of-the-mill fluffy AU, yet the author threw this incredible curveball by using the alien background in a canon divergence to turn The Bachelor into both a romantic dramedy for the boys, but also keeping the looming threat of people finding out about aliens in the background. Also, I think this is top tier pining that you will actively feel in your own chest, that’s how good it is. 

blink back to let me know by haloud - Roswell New Mexico

Alex doesn’t have important conversations over the phone when he can avoid them. It feels too much like going in blind. But in some ways, the phone makes it easier–it’s easier to break when no one’s looking.

It’s Mylex and the 5th in a series, and every part is worth reading, but I definitely re-read parts 4 and 5 a lot. It’s so well written and the dynamic is mwah and I love how Kyle fits into this. One of my favourite pieces in this is how Kyle reacts to his father in relation to Michael & Caulfield and it’s an amazing read.

built this house on memories by @villanellve

He wakes up eight years in the future, and everything is strange, but Alex is there.

YOU GUYS. If you were to write a list of tropes I adore, this would be way up there at the top because of how much I love it. I am a sucker for a character having to be removed from their situation to learn (whether it’s an alternate universe or the future or the past), but this one is so achingly painful and perfect and hopeful. I love the callout that the situation is almost too hard for Alex, I love the resolution at the end on Michael’s part, and you could just soak in the happiness and comfort of their future lives if you let yourself.

Can’t Get No by one_flying_ace

“They’re on round two already,” he says, tilting his head towards the truck again, “or maybe three.” Guerin grimaces, and that’s fair; it’s his brother, after all. “You know how they’re feeling. Could I handle it, if you stopped-” being in control, he doesn’t say, but Guerin shudders. “I’m good, Alex. Just keep the hell away.” (Or: alien sex rocks don’t make them do it, but they sure do help.)

Sex pollen/sex-or-die fics are pretty much a requirement, but this is my absolute favourite and I have re-read it more times than I can tell you (let’s put it at six or seven?) The restraint that Michael has in this is amazing, but the mental images of it are incredible as well. I loved Max and Liz’s secondary presence as well and how each character was tonally perfect down to the little things (like Max not noticing Michael’s sex marks). What a good. What a hot. What amazing.

Constant as the Northern Star by celzmccelz

Michael stares at Kyle. “But I’m a guy! How can I be pregnant?” Kyle looks embarrassed. “Well, you appear to have a fully functioning set of female reproductive organs—or, I mean, like, the kind of reproductive organs that are associated with a double X-chromosome in humans, so I’d assume that you probably became pregnant when semen was introduced into your reproductive tract—” “Jesus Christ, Kyle!” says Michael. He could have happily lived the rest of his life without ever hearing Kyle Valenti say the words “semen” and “reproductive tract.” Kyle’s eyes widen. “Have you been having unprotected sex?” “Oh my God, I am not having this conversation with you!”

Yes, going in, there are some warnings to be cognizant of. It’s mpreg, there’s a lot of medical stuff to go through, but I think this is my absolute favourite of the mpregs I’ve read and it actually comes down to Michael’s support system outside of Alex, namely in Kyle. There’s no sudden BFF bracelets being given, but that morality that makes Kyle Valenti who he is, that’s right there. Also, given that this is an mpreg fic, it delves into family and plot in a way that I haven’t often seen. Plus, you get the ‘getting back together’ Malex that I so deeply crave.

Contigo me encontré by beautifulcheat (Katalyst), ladynox

The Lockhart House was once a home, although it was never a happy one. Steeped in tragedy, it still stands today, in the heart of Old Town Roswell, attracting ghost hunters and those seeking to catch a peak of something from beyond the veil.

Contrary to popular myth, it wasn’t currently haunted (except by one paranormally talented docent). It was Michael’s favorite job and the best part of his summer home from UNM. Or at least was until Alex Manes was hired to man the gift shop, complicating an otherwise fun and easy job.

everywhere on earth you go - @evepolastried

Across the room, he can still see how Michael Guerin is looking at him. And that’s something different, something new, something so very familiar. The thrill of nerves, of guilt, of want. Alex smiles, and he starts to sing. (OR: Alex Manes grabs his guitar and gets the hell out of Roswell in 2008, and he leaves behind a letter. Here’s what happens ten years later)

I love this. This one has something incredible, and it’s something I called out, but it has this amazing work with pace. There’s a frantic moment at the bar and it’s chaos, and you feel it. It’s rushed and wild and crazy, but then everything slows down and it gets perfect. There’s Michael, there’s Alex, there’s music, and it’s such a great ride.

Family Matters by @bestillmyslashyheart

Isobel is telepathic. Most of the time she ignores it. She used to pick up on other’s people’s emotions but she’s long since learned to tune that out. Until one night she can’t. Someone, somewhere is in such a state that it’s spilling over and she’s left to deal with the brunt of it. Or, Michael keeps things close to the vest until he can’t. The night after Alex leaves him at the drive-in, everything he’s feeling bubbles up inside until it spills over onto Isobel. Suddenly he’s left with no other choice but to open up.

This is an early fandom piece, but I still think it’s held up to an immensely amazing rate. Not only that, but I love how it delves into powers, Michael and Isobel’s relationship, and the incredible idea of spillover, which I still actively wish would become canon because of this fic. I think it’s so IC, especially with Michael’s active wish not to talk about it that he screws himself over in his sleep and seriously, it’s such a good read for both Isobel & Michael stuff, but also Michael & Alex.

the first who ever did - nostaljinks

Five times Michael saves Alex + 1 time Alex saves Michael back.

I feel like there aren’t enough words that I can heap onto this of praise. This fic is well-written, well-plotted, well-thought out, well-everything. It’s a beautiful emotional roller coaster and will make you ACHE, but in a great way. It also is the right amount of long that you want more, but you also get it, and it’s just as quality as the rest. ABSOLUTE must read.

fish bowl by @sabrinachill

Alex makes a series of phone calls and bad choices that lead him directly here — an Airstream on the edge of a junkyard with a distractingly attractive mechanic showing him how the dining table converts into a bed that he can sleep on for just $75 a week. It is, of course, completely absurd. But there’s something cozy about the fuzzy yellow blanket on the bed/table and the sparkling sunlight streaming through the mostly-clean windows, in the smell of leather and motor oil and aftershave and summer storms, in the hopeful half-smile on Michael’s face. That’s his name — Michael. Alex’s potential new roommate and landlord. (AKA An AU About Quarantined Roommates Who Fall in Love)

I highly recommend anything by @sabrinachill, but this fic is a really clear argument about why. It’s an AU that involves quarantine, and you might think ‘oh, I’ve read that before’, but then it will take you down the unexpected road that you didn’t expect to go down, but as soon as you take that twist, you instantly realize how much better it is that way. Hats off to the clever plotting not just in Fish Bowl, but other fics! 

Funny How Things Never Change - @waroftheposes​

“What can I do for you?” Michael asks, turning to face Alex. Alex can tell the moment that Michael’s mind registers who he’s addressing, because the polite smile drops from his face and the hat falls from his hand. He stands there, eyes wide and unbelieving, looking at Alex. Alex takes a deep breath, willing his racing heart to settle. “Well,” he begins and is his voice shaking? “For starters you can get your stubborn ass over here and give me a divorce.” – (A Sweet Home Alabama AU)

Yooooo, guess who was bereft when she thought she lost this link. It was absolutely me. This AU makes me happy in so many ways, especially the storms in the desert motif that keeps coming back around, and also that it’s messy. I like that it’s not cut and dry, that it goes right up until the wedding, and that it takes some real talk for them to get back together. I love fics where they all get to be human and this one is just so good. 

I Know Nothing Stays The Same by aewriting

“Alex doesn’t believe in miracles until one happens to him. His father has a hammer in one hand and Alex’s throat in the other. As Alex’s consciousness fades, he’s dimly aware of movement. His father’s about to swing the hammer, and this is how Alex will die.” When an unexplainable force puts a stop to Jesse’s attack in the shed, Alex and Michael are forced to go on the run. Leaving Roswell is an easy decision, but navigating the consequences of that choice months and even years later proves to be much more complicated.

I think this one became a must read very early on, but then it’s continued to deliver. There’s been a few stories that delve into the characters getting therapy, but there’s a whole chapter here where it genuinely feels cathartic as we go through the process with Alex. This fic also is an excellent and long version of an AU I think that we’ve all wondered, about what would happen if they ran away, and it’s so well written and so real that I know I will be re-reading this a ton. Like many of the others, why I love it is because it’s not perfection, but it’s the kind of real where I want to wrap myself up in it. 

i won’t go, i can’t do it on my own by @queersirius

alex tries to let go by giving back the pieces of michael he’s kept

Millie has a bunch of AMAZING AUs (guys, the 10 Things I Hate About You is something I never thought I’d get, especially from a favourite author), but i think this one is actually my favourite, especially when it comes to the ship piece that Alex has. Again, when I talk about ‘fics that make me want to be better’, this one was one. The writing is engaging, the characterization is fabulous, and the emotions are so honest and real. Then there’s this line, like a gut punch:  “Because it’s the last thing I have of you,” he admits. “The last piece of you I have to let go of.” which I love because it’s still Alex’s journey, an honest attempt to offer closure (if closure is wanted). 

in some other life - @spaceskam​

michael tries to build a time machine, but ends up in a different reality all together

There are a lot of these that have been written and they are all quality, but I love this one especially because of how we get into Alex in the other universe, get the glimpse of this unknown Michael, but also the scene that strikes this one out for me is that Alex doesn’t want to let him go. I love that Alex gets to be selfish, that he begs for him to stay, and that we don’t get the automatic happy ending in that, but there’s still the hope for it. Also, Alex the Angel, unf. 

intimate encounters of the third kind by @alexmanes

Three years after Antar and its people take Earth under their wings, Roswell becomes the epicenter for human-alien relations between both planets. It doesn’t take very long for Alex Manes to find himself embroiled in a scandal that threatens this intergalactic partnership, all thanks to a beautiful man named Michael Guerin who is not nearly as human as he claims to be.

Okay, so, if you like No Love Like Your Love, the truth is that you have this fic to thank. This was my first introduction in RNM fandom as to what a really amazing fic could be that incorporated the royalty elements into the pairing. Once 1x12 aired and we met Michael’s mother, it was pretty much a done deal that I wanted to do something that played with that, but this is the actual inspiration. It’s well plotted, it has a great ensemble cast, and plays with the kind of care that it takes to know your plot inside and out, but also to leave breadcrumbs that guide the reader along. It’s very methodical in the sense that nothing is by accident and it has you on the edge of your seat.

It’s a long road back to you by @magsthemagical

Michael finds out that Alex is dating Forrest and he’s okay with it, until he’s not. Maria suggests a double date to show they can all hang out as friends. But they can’t… not really. [OR the one where Michael & Alex realize that they belong together and so they say goodbye to their respective relationships and start anew]

Honest truth time - in terms of ‘ships, while I always love people to ship and let ship, my personal preference for both Michael and Alex is one another, so both Maria/Michael and Forrest/Alex aren’t things that I usually seek out when trawling Ao3. This fic is so good to all parties involved. No one is a villain and I appreciate that they get to talk about things like Alex’s reticence to do certain things in public, but also being aware that Alex deserves to have something new as much as Michael.

Last Stop: This Town by @ubiestcaelum

Someone asked what it would have been like if Michael had gone home with the Evan’s and I couldn’t let it go.

Am I cheating because I requested this? idk, maybe, because another one I requested will end up here too. I am addicted to the idea of Michael getting the support system he needs, but THIS FIC takes it to the most impossibly amazing level and fleshes out the Evans parents in such an incredible way. I love that it’s not super sunshine and rainbows, but it’s an honest telling of raising kids (and maybe too many kids versus what you expected). I know this is only in progress (several today will be), but even as it is, it’s worth reading multiple times, because I know I have.

let me count the ways by @queersirius

liz ortecho isn’t allowed to date until her snarky, determined-not-to-date brother, alex ortecho, does. luckily, one of her suitors has a plan. well, max goes to isobel for a plan, which involves getting their brother, michael, to woo alex. or, the 10 things i hate about you AU

Obviously this needs to be here as I desperately pleaded for it to exist, but it’s so beyond what it might be as a mini tumblr ficlet and has become a whole world. It’s not just a great Malex story, it’s an amazing story for all the characters and really fleshes out a world, but weaves in the RNM characters perfectly, but also gives me a dynamic I want more of, in Alex being an Ortecho. It’s not quite finished yet, but Millie has never steered us wrong and I can’t wait for more.

Loathly by @aewriting

When King Manes and his sons are caught illegally hunting on Antarian lands, King Noah gives King Manes a choice - correctly answer a riddle or accept death. A year-long search for the correct answer ensues, leading the youngest son of the king, Alex, to strike a bargain with a mysterious woman who claims to know the answer. This is an AU of the Arthurian legend “Sir Gawain and the Dame Ragnell.”

Love at First Sass - @daffietjuh

Taking a class of 30 high school kids on a school trip to an Air Force base was about as exhausting as it sounds, luckily, the Captain giving them the tour is perfectly capable of handling a group of rowdy teenagers. Michael may be slightly in love Okay, so first of all, if you haven’t read any of the author’s other work, you should. The AUs are fantastic and the hockey one is still one of my favourites ever, but this one also just was exactly what I needed. It was sexy and flirty and fun, but also fit their personalities perfectly!

Everything in the Michael Sanders AU, by prouvaireafterdark which is a fantastic series that gives us what we all wanted, which is Walt Sanders giving Michael the home he deserved (and getting one right back).

My love is a life taker by @jocarthage

By the time he turned 15, Captain Alex Manes had been to every war zone and unofficial conflict the United States of America was involved in. It wasn’t regular practice, or even heard of, for a Colonel to bring his son along on combat missions; the exception was if the child had been identified as Time Aware, able to travel in time along their own timeline using stolen alien technology. So here Alex Manes was, 28, and ducking bombs, killing who he’s told to. On his way back from a mission, Alex slips into another timestream. It should be impossible. But he can hear a child crying and he heads towards the sound. This is the story of how Alex saved Michael and Michael saved Alex, with lots of time travel shenanigans and angst.

This story is incredible for so many reasons and one of them I continue to praise is the balance. It’s an Alex driven story, but you can break his life down into friends, mission, family, and Michael, and often those elements combine, but there’s never any update that doesn’t give you enough (imo). It’s excellent writing with engaging OCs and wonderful plot, and the most incredible love story.

not in this world (or the next) by @hannah-writes

It isn’t until he realises he can’t find the keys for his fucking truck anywhere and that there’s mail on the table addressed to Mr M Evans that Noah called him ‘Evans’, too. He fumbles inside the wallet that he’d managed to locate and pulls out a New Mexico licence with his picture on it; he doesn’t have a black eye and a split lip in this one, his hair’s tamed and he doesn’t look like he’s gone three days without showering. His date of birth is stamped, clear and correct, but then where his name should read ‘Michael Guerin’, it reads “Michael Evans’ and the address registered on the license is that of Max and Isobel’s childhood home. Noah had also said ‘your mom’s’. Not ‘Mrs Evans’. It feels like a bucket of ice water’s dumped over his head as he finally accepts that something is very, very wrong. (aka, the fic spawned from a tumblr prompt about Michael waking up in a parallel reality.)

This one, guys. This is an absolute beast of angst and love and a really well plotted story, but also is really amazing for how it creates Mikey, but also creates motive behind what drives both Michael and Mikey in ways that are the same, but also different. Genuinely, this fic is a great read because you get so much attention to the characters while also driving along the relationships, and who they are. 

nursery sharks by christchex

Six firsts in the Sanders household and a second.

Otherwise Engaged by JustAsSweet

Alex Manes was perfectly happy with his job at Colden Records but when his visa is rejected and deportation looms, marrying his assistant Michael Evans is his only option. And when they make a trip to Alaska to see Michael’s family, everything becomes a lot more complicated.

AKA: The Proposal AU that no one asked for but I wrote anyway.

Shadow Work - @myrmidryad

After his discharge from the Air Force, Alex Manes is working as a shade - a professional ghost hunter - when Michael Guerin tracks him down. Alex left Roswell thirteen years ago and never went back, but overnight Michael’s family has vanished and the supernatural activity in Roswell has exploded, and he wants Alex’s help. Featuring: ghosts, more ghosts, metaphorical ghosts, and a lot of sex without talking about feelings. Also missing family members, government conspiracies, and gratuitous worldbuilding.

No, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I can’t rec this enough. Literally, this is a novel-type rec. If this were a book on a shelf, I would be shouting that you need to go read it, because it is literally good enough to be a published work on a best-selling list. It’s so fucking good. Every time you think it can’t get better, it does. It has nuance and plot and world-building and it is So. Fucking. Good. I could sit here and sing praises all day and it still wouldn’t be enough. Please give yourself a holiday treat and read it.

The World Forgetting, By The World Forgot by Anonymous

Michael and Alex erase each other from their memories. It does not go according to plan. [Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Roswell style]

I mean, I could rec anything by Anonymous and it would be worth your read. They’re so good and so in character,  but this one is my favourite. It’s angsty as fuck, don’t get me wrong, but it plays with the movie plot in such a Roswell-specific way that makes sense that I honestly never even compared or contrasted it to the movie past the first few beats. The pain is visceral, and the memory loss segment is incredible, but also delivers on a positive ending. 

To Trust Love by @laughsalot3412 

The prisoner’s voice sounded like home. He could have been raised in Roswell, the way his accent stretched his vowels. He definitely hadn’t been. Alex would have remembered eyes like those. (AU where Alex Manes goes on an undercover rescue mission in Caulfield Prison and forms a bond with one of the prisoners in the process.)

I don’t have enough words in the English language to praise this one. Honestly, I don’t. For one, the pace and the length is perfect. That we got the parts as quickly as we did was honestly such a treat, but then every part was just as high quality as the last. There are chapters in this one that made me go, “holy shit, this would’ve been a novel I read”, and then there are little emotional impacts where the tone shifts, but it works so well. It’s SO HOT, and the AU is so perfect, and also helped inspire the one that I wrote last night with the “genie”. 

Unwind Me - delgay

“Think you can manage that? Sitting next to me, without picking a fight?” Michael challenged. “Can you?” Alex returned. “No idea,” Michael admitted with a sideways grin that never failed to make Alex’s stomach turn over, “But I’m eager to find out.” Alex is avoiding everyone, but he can’t seem to escape Michael.

This whole fic is intensely amazing, but it got on my rec list for the absolutely electric scene with the dancing that was absolutely beyond incredible. You also get Michael courting Alex, which is something he utterly deserves and I love the way Michael goes about it. 

we feel so american by thepredatorywasp

“Papa’s on the spaceship again?” River asks, his bright green eyes welling with tears and his face growing red. “Comin’ back?” “Of course he is,” Alex says, smoothing down the son’s hair and adjusting the Mickey ears atop his head. “Always.” There is no easy way to explain to your three year-old that not only is he an alien, but his Papa is an alien and that apparently, Michael loves leaning hard into irony because he has gone on Space Mountain approximately ten times over the course of four days.

LOOK. I LOVE A SWEET KID FIC. The next rec will prove this, but this one will melt your fucking heart. I love it because it’s not perfect and easy. There’s difficulties, there are issues, but it’s Michael and Alex and their baby boy in Disney and if you do not come away feeling warmer from this, then I just don’t know. 

We’re Waking Up Slow by myrmyriad

“I think need a little time to process all of this. Um. Storm’s getting closer and I don’t really wanna get snowed in here, so…let’s just talk later, okay?” What if the storm that blew in during S01E10 came in a lot faster and heavier, and Alex was snowed in at the junkyard?

Again, fic that makes me wish that I could write as well as this. This one makes you feel it all. You’ll feel the cold, the wet, the storm, the pain, the hope, the healing. You feel the connection between Michael and Alex, and you’ll be left wishing at the end that this had been how canon went, but also that it’s justifiably not that far off from how it could have, had they taken a different tack, because of how well it’s written. 

What’s Up, Pregnant? by Marie_L

Michael Guerin is broke, practically homeless, and a knocked up secret alien. What now?

Speaking of kid fics, this mpreg is one that I really like, because if nothing else, it introduced the concept of mpreg using pods to me in the fandom, and I kind of went, “YES, of course”. I love that it’s got everyone rallying, but I mostly love the psychic connection between Michael and his baby, and the softness of loving sugar and Alex. 

With Love Overflowing by Nestra

"We both agree that this is not the place we belong, right? Please say yes."

Michael tossed his hat on the coffee table and dropped onto the couch. "If you mean that your dad's been dead since CrashCon and some kind of crazy shit is going on, then yeah, I agree."

(This one was for me for Secret Santa, it is just THAT GOOD that I want everyone in the world to read it)

x marks the spot (where we fell apart) by catching_paper_moons, preciousthings

“Don’t write it off,” Alex says, and Liz is so relieved someone is coming to her defense, even if it’s someone who already knew beforehand. “Liz and Kyle have ideas, and there are people in this room with literal superpowers. It’s pretty much our only option.” “Our only option?” Isobel scoffs. “What are we, Ocean’s Eleven?”

[lokisprettygirl]

Close Ties (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Modern AU) (Non canon) (18+)

Read Chapter 3 // Series Masterlist

Chapter 4

Summary: Things get messier as you both try to ignore the undeniable chemistry between yourselves.

Warning: 18+, smut, dad's best friend trope, canon (we don't know her), familial uncle niece sort of relationship but he's not really her uncle, there will be more smut later, significant age gap but reader is in her mid twenties, mention of infidelity, divorce, smoking and alcohol drinking,

You were finally back home at your parent's when you realised Daemon was going to live with them, thankfully you didn't have to be there forever, you had your own place a few miles away but your parents insisted for you to stay a little longer, none of your excuses worked on them.

It's been three days since you had been here, Everytime your eyes met with Daemon you looked away, ever since he had reminded you that he remembered the night you have been avoiding him and he had noticed, of course he did.

If all of this wasn't bad enough you also overheard Cassandra fighting with him last night, well to be fair she was the one yelling and he was trying to pacify her. Later that night she entered your room with a puffed up post crying face and you somehow managed to keep her away from him after that but she seemed as if she was utterly devastated by this thing ending between them which you didn't understand..

Aemond had been in touch with you via calls and texts but you hadn't met up with him since Bali, also your ex Dylan has been calling you at least ten times a day. When Cassandra finally went back to her place the next day you walked towards Daemon's room and knocked, he had just returned from a meeting with your dad, he wanted Daemon to work for him. The richer he got the more users he befriended which wasn't good for his business and he wanted Daemon to handle his finances now. He trusted Daemon more than anyone else in his life.

Why didn't he stop him from leaving then all those years ago?

As he opened the door he was still in his business suit, he had earpods in and you realised he was on a call so you tried to excuse yourself and leave but he grabbed your arm and pulled you into the room slowly, he still had his eyes on you even though he was completely engrossed in that other conversation. Okay he didn't have to be so goddamn sexy all the time.

He had his hand wrapped around your upper arm as he walked back and forth while he kept the call going, taking you along with him like a child on a ride.

"Sorry dear, I had to finish that call" he mumbled as he let go of you and put his phone down on the bed, then he took his coat off, loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves one by one revealing those gorgeous forearms. You almost forgot why you were there in the first place.

"What is wrong?" He asked you so you crossed your arms together.

"What did you say to Cassandra? She's a mess..I have never seen her be this way.. usually uhhh it's the other way around" his brows furrowed as you said that.

"I told her the truth.. I'm not her boyfriend, we are not in a relationship..i had to end things so I did" he told you as he took his tie off, and unbuttoned the top three buttons of his white shirt. His room smelled like his cologne, you felt the need to bask in it and snuggle to his thick daddy body but you were discussing the matters of your best friend with him instead.

"She ummm.. wants to keep the fling going" he looked at you as you said that, he wasn't fazed at all.

"I don't give a shit about what she wants darling" He snickered so you glared at him and the smirk vanished almost instantly "Why are you upset with me?" He asked you so you shrugged again,

"I am not upset with you ..uncle"

"Then why have you been ignoring me?"

"I'm not ignoring you uncle"

Uncle uncle uncle. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be your uncle anymore.

"Alright Pixie.. whatever you say" he smiled as he walked towards his closet to grab a towel, your phone started to ring so you took it out of your pants pocket and groaned as you looked at another unknown number.

"Well I'll see you at dinner then.. uncle" you turned around swiftly to leave, closing the door on your way out. Daemon knew now that he shouldn't have slept with your best friend but he wasn't in his senses, he felt lonely and he needed someone to distract him, he had no clue Cassandra would become such a pain in the ass, he probably would have kept the thing going if she wasn't such a brat.

While in the shower he looked back at the last three days and he knew you were ignoring him ever since he had reminded you that he remembered that night when he had subtly caressed your lips and kissed your cheek followed by that not so innocent intimate hugging.

He was drunk and he had lesser control on his actions that night, he was just glad he was able to pull away at the right time. However your reaction to him was what kept him up that night, the way you clutched your fingers around his neck and hugged him so tightly was seared in his memory and now you were avoiding him.

Were you embarrassed by your reaction or you felt violated by him? He needed to make sure he hadn't done something that would make you see him differently, sure he had hots for his best friend's daughter but he wasn't going to let it ruin things between him and your family.

At the dinner table he watched you grimacing as your phone continued to bother you once in a while, as your eyes met with him he gave you a smile so you returned it. You didn't want to be rude even though you were starting to feel a bit of underserved resentment towards him.

His plan to enjoy his dinner in peace after a long day also was ruined as he watched Cassandra sauntering towards the table,

"Hello everyone" she smiled as she sat down next to you.

Throughout the dinner she continued to glare at him and even you noticed that, she has known him for mere few days so her obsessive behaviour towards him didn't make much sense to you. What did she want from him? More sex?

Once she was done eating you dragged her back to your room before she'd make a scene in front of your parents.

"Cass what are you doing? You didn't even tell me you were joining us for dinner" you asked her so she chuckled as she sat down on the bed and proceeded to cross her legs elegantly.

"Really? Now I have to take appointments to see you guys? Since when?" She asked you as she tilted her head so you sighed and walked towards her to give her a hug.

"That's not what I meant..look ..he's not the first man you have had a fling with. Why are you so affected by this?" You asked her calmly so she whined like a child.

"I don't know..I just ..I'm not used to guys breaking off things with me..you have no idea how this feels"

Well she was bothered because she hasn't been rejected before in her life? Yeah you couldn't relate.

"He's not just some guy cass..he's my ..hes..like my uncle..you knew what you were getting into right? My dad just got his friend back and I need him to stay.. please just forget about him"

"I need him back so I can reject him" she smirked and you just wanted to slap her in the face at the moment.

"You're being ridiculous" you told her plainly and all you got in response was an eye roll..

Your phone rang once again and you wanted to throw it out the window this time, you had blocked Dylan's number like five times but he was very persistent just the way he was in the beginning of your relationship with him.

As Cassandra finally left you made your way downstairs, you really needed to go out for a stroll to clear your head. On the way out your dad spotted you leaving since he was with Daemon in the living room discussing business and he was concerned that you were going out alone at such an hour so he asked Daemon if he'd mind joining you..

"Can I accompany you pixie?" Daemon asked you softly so you nodded. Well you'd let him do anything if he asked like that.

"Keep her safe mate" your dad said to him so he smiled in response..

As you began to walk away from your parents house there was an awkward silence between you two but you were the first one to break the ice.

"I can walk by myself, I'm not a kid you know" you said to him so he chuckled,

"I don't think of you as one Pixie" his rough voice gave you goosebumps, "that wouldn't discourage me from wanting to keep you safe though" you smiled as he said that

"Mmm i appreciate that"

"Are you alright? You seem a bit troubled. Who's bothering you?"

He asked so you chuckled, at least he cared. You were not used to being cared for. Sometimes you felt as if you were always there for Cassandra but she wasn't always there for you when you needed a friend to share your troubles with or just vent like a normal person..

"Well for one…Cassandra is bothering me with her constant cribbing.. and she's cribbing because of you so you're also bothering me" His smile faded as you said that ..he didn't want that for you. He never wanted to do something that would bother you.

"I'd apologise pixie but I'm not sure how I can fix the situation now "

Well don't fuck her again you thought. You suddenly felt bad about saying that to him, you didn't want to make him feel obligated for your mood swings or upset him in any way. Cassandra knew what it was from the beginning, he was honest with her, he didn't promise her the world and then broke them all.

Late at night you couldn't bear the guilt of supposedly upsetting him or making him sad so you got up and made your way to his room, you didn't have to knock as he had kept his door open.

"You're not bothering me I swear..I'm sorry i said that" you mumbled hurriedly as soon as you entered his room, he was fixing his hair so he put the comb down on the dresser and walked towards you..

"You don't have to apologise"

"I do..I keep snapping at you for no reason and it's not fair...I just forget at times that you're going through something as well and I'm..sorry " you mumbled softly so he smiled,

"I asked you a question during our stroll ..this time answer me truthfully.. Who's bothering you?" You sighed as he questioned you again, maybe sharing with him would feel better.

"It's just my ex..he keeps calling me" his brows furrowed as heard your response.

"That cheating arse?"

"Yup"

"What does he want?"

"Probably wants to get back together.. whatever..i don't even ..want to know" you shrugged as you crossed your arms together, even though deep down all you wanted to do was cry and then cry some more.

"Cheaters always cheat again.. remember that"

"Mmmhmmm ..he didn't just cheat though, he did something else too that i…" his jaw clenched and it wasn't unnoticed. What were you insinuating here? What did he do with you?

"What did he do darling?"

"It doesn't matter"

"It always does"

Your eyes teared up as you felt completely overwhelmed all of a sudden, maybe it was the concern he showed towards you that got you finally. You really weren't used to someone making you feel as if your issues mattered as well. You had the best life your parents could have given you, you were very privileged, never had to struggle for anything you wanted but that didn't mean you weren't hurt or used by other people or had your humanely emotions.

"Hey …come here" he grabbed you by the shoulders and pulled you into his chest, as soon as you felt his warm embrace you broke down in cries, you really needed a good cry but your mind has been so occupied lately with millions of conflicting feelings that you weren't allowing yourself to have a moment of weakness.

Gods you never wanted to leave how his arms felt around you ..so strong, so protective and so very warm.

"I just…feel so inadequate sometimes" you sobbed uncontrollably between your words so he cupped your cheeks and wiped your tears with his thumbs, you didn't want to look up, you felt afraid you'd do something stupid if you looked him in the eye..you were so close to him at the moment and you had a feeling that this was the extent of what you could get from him, there was a line that both of you couldn't have crossed..

"I know how that feels..i understand pixie..don't cry sweetheart, you're okay..I'll keep you safe..you just have to come to me" he mumbled softly as he kissed your forehead, your fingers clutched the fabric of his shirt, skin was tingling from head to toe and you wanted him to touch you in places he would never ever touch you that way.

"I'm sorry..I'm so sorry" you mumbled between your hiccups so he shook his head in response,

"Shhhhh..I'll take care of you..I'm here now"

He wrapped his arms around you again and caressed your back until your sobs had diminished.

Why did he have to be your dad's friend? Why couldn't he just be another guy? Those were the thoughts swirling around your head, if he wasn't so familial you'd have made your move and kissed him by now because you really wanted to. You really wanted to just get on your tiptoes and kiss him, and then do stuff with him that would make him see you differently, anything other than the daughter of his friend.

Once you had calmed down you pulled away and finally built the nerve to look at him, his expressions were soft, the problem was that even if he was seeing you differently now none of you could have crossed that line, you would remain forbidden to him and he was to you.

"Feeling better?" He asked you so you gave him a nod and a small smile,

"Are you sleepy?"

"I am tired"

"Then you should sleep.. uncle. I'll see you tomorrow"

"Okay.. sweetheart"

"Thank you for comforting me.. I needed that"

He nodded as you said that, as you left he closed the door and then stood there with his head resting on it for what felt like eternity. When he came back he just wanted to rebuild his life here again, he hadn't forgotten what had happened between him and his friend but he wanted to give that broken relationship a second chance since he gave her a countless chances but he wasn't ready to get caught up in this mess, he never saw this coming, He never thought he'd suddenly develop sexual feelings for his supposed niece. This wasn't supposed to happen and it never should have happened.

The sexual desire combined with the emotional attachment that he already had with you since you were a child made him feel perverse, and he was afraid the longer he stays around you the worse it will get for him.

Next day he didn't see you around the house since you were at work, when you came back you had Aemond by your side and he honestly didn't know how to feel about it, he fucked your best friend so there's no way he could have asked you to not date his nephew.

He watched you giggle and laugh at whatever unfunny jokes Aemond told you at the dinner table and he found himself feeling something he had not felt in a while, he was jealous. Jealous of his own nephew making his so-called niece laugh.

As Cassandra appeared suddenly he groaned internally but pretended as if he wasn't affected by her at all.

"Hey guyyysss" she giggled as she hugged you and then she hugged Aemond , he was a bit surprised but he reciprocated the hug, then she proceeded to greet your parents.

You had an empty chair right next to you but she walked around the table and sat down right next to Daemon. Daemon couldn't help but wonder if you felt jealous of the attention he had been giving to Cassandra?

"Hey Daemon" she mumbled as she looked at him so he gave her a smile. He didn't want to be unnecessarily rude to her if she wasn't acting like a psychopath.

"I can't say how happy I am that you both are dating" she raised her glass of wine to both so you shook your head immediately.

"We are not dating..just friends" you clarified as you felt everyone's eyes on you, especially Daemon's, you wanted to hide from his intense gaze. What was he thinking? It was so weird, when you both were talking to each other there was no awkwardness at all but as soon as you both were around other people you felt such tension between you both. The sort of tension that could resolve by ripping each other's clothes off.

Maybe you needed to go back to your place soon. The longer you'd stay here the more complicated things would become between you and him.

"Mmm well that's good because honestly it's kind of weird.. I mean Aemond is Daemon's nephew and you're like his niece so that would make you both like siblings " she giggled and you just wanted to smash your head against the table. To get away from Cassandra, daemon finished his dinner quickly and headed straight for his room..

"Babe let's have a girls night, i pinged the girls to come here" Cassandra jumped up and down as you both made your way upstairs to your room after seeing off Aemond, she was crying her eyes out yesterday so this sudden change in her demeanour was nice.

"Sure..I'll be right there ..I have to go see mum first" you told her so she went to your room and you went downstairs to your parents' bedroom first but they were not there so you headed towards your dad's office. Daemon was there as well ..they were deep in the discussion while your mum was on the couch reading her book.

Daemon looked at you for a second before he looked away almost immediately..

Your mother just wanted to talk about your day to day life so after chatting with her you mumbled a good night to everyone before you went back to your room.

Girls were already drinking and playing spin the bottle when you joined them.

You felt restless, your mind wasn't at peace, you had made it clear to Aemond that you weren't looking for a relationship or dating at the moment and he was more than decent about it. He was alright being just your friend, however that wasn't the only reason why you didn't want to date him. There was one other reason, a very tall, sexy and scrumptious reason.

"Yay ..y/n's turn" Donna yelped in excitement, making you snap out of your Daemon dreaming.

"Truth or dare?" Cassandra asked you knowing really well that you'd never pick anything but the truth.

"Truth of course"

"So predictable" other girls groaned in unison and it made you smile. Was lusting after your sworn uncle predictable?

"I have a question..why does daemon call you pixie..you never told me the story? He even got your number saved with that name..just curious babe"

Cassandra questioned you and as you recalled the memory it brought a smile on your face.

"Ummm well..when I was twelve I had just returned from the boarding school after years and gotten this very bad haircut due to peer pressure..you can guess which one. I was basically inconsolable because I missed my hair and the cut didn't really suit me" you chuckled before you continued "It didn't help that dad basically made fun of me and I saw mum laughing too but then they took me to go see uncle Daemon. I had never met him before, only saw him in pictures and stuff, but as we reached his home he noticed my sniffles and my tear soaked puffy face. He then bent down to my level and cupped my cheeks to tell me that i was his darling little pixie now and would remain one forever"

He had turned one of the worst days of your life into a sweet memory that you still cherished to this day.

As you finished your story there was a pin drop silence in the room for a good few seconds before they all cooed like birds together. The memory made you feel even more conflicted now, he was your uncle and he saw you as his niece, if there was that five percent chance that he felt attracted to you as well then this must have been ten times worse for him.

"That's so adorbs ..though I gotta say he's so handsome..bumped into him downstairs" Rochelle said to you but it was Cassandra who gave her the deathly glares,

"Eyes off him alright.. it's still complicated between us"

No it wasn't complicated, he was done with her but whatever made her sleep well at night you thought.

When the bottle spinned towards Cassandra, as a dare Donna asked him to go kiss Daemon.

"I don't think that's a good idea guys" you immediately interjected but you watched Cassandra upping from her place despite your resistance and she winked before she made her way out of the room.

Daemon was about to get in bed when he heard the knock on his door, at first he thought it must have been you but he saw Cassandra just in her nightwear, standing on his door with one of her hands resting on the doorframe and other one on her waist,

"What do you want, Cassandra?" he asked her in a no-nonsense tone, his voice didn't carry any emotions for the woman standing in front of him because he didn't have any.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing and wanted to apologise about my behaviour yesterday" she mumbled sweetly so he sighed, she was a vacational rebound for him and he didn't want to hurt her at all but she was just too similar to Stella and that was what had attracted him to her at first and then put him off later,

"Alright i appreciate that" he mumbled softly and he was about to close the door when she leaped towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck, before he knew she was kissing him in the ways that would turn on any warm blooded man, she wasn't capable of warming his heart but his cock was a different story.

It all happened so fast after that, he fucked her quickly and right against the door, unbeknownst to him, you had come to check up on him and perhaps save him from the situation if Cassandra would blow up again but the moment you heard the sound of her moans and groans, instead of going to your room where your friends were, you ran towards the guest room and then you cried your heart out.

For once you allowed yourself to feel hurt and jealous, hurt that he slept with her again even after he knew she was being unhinged about it, and jealous because it wasn't you he was fucking against the door.

Next morning Daemon woke up with regret, not only had he encouraged Cassandra by giving into her advances but he had a feeling he had disappointed you in plenty of ways and his suspicions were confirmed when you didn't even look at him even once when he met you during breakfast.

"That old man's dick is the best dick. Period" Cassandra mumbled excitedly so you gave her a fake smile in response,

"He's not that old you know"

"Well I'm not saying it as an insult..lord I think I'm falling for his sculpted ass"

Your smile faded as she said that, this thing was about to get messier because he couldn't keep it in his pants, all men were just cunt hungry whores. Your mum was so lucky she found someone like your dad.

It was Saturday and you didn't even have the luxury of getting engrossed in work today so you spent your day trying to avoid Daemon as much as you could. It wasn't fair to him you knew that, it shouldn't have mattered to you who he fucked or how many times but it did.

In the evening while you were napping clutching onto the plushie he had given you there was a knock on the door.

You were just hoping it wasn't Cassandra and luckily it wasn't..it was Daemon instead, he had a black silk shirt on that was loosely tucked in his fitted pants, your dad was taking him out to meet some of his business partners.

"Uncle.. What can I do for you?" You asked him so he smiled and walked closer to you until he was merely inches away from you, his cologne intoxicated you as he stood so close to you. You just wanted to kiss him.

"I know you're upset"

"Why would I be upset?" You mumbled, making him give you that infuriating smile.

"You shouldn't be..but you are..y/n..we are both adults here, yes? You're dating my nephew..i sleep with your best friend, that shouldn't cause any problems between us, I don't want that"

Now you wanted to punch him in the face and then kiss him.

"You're right.. the thing is your nephew won't come crying to you if we break up but my best friend does and then it becomes my problem yes, uncle?" You told him as you raised your voice a little so he tilted his head down and glared at you. You weren't intimidated by him. Not at all. Or Maybe you were, just a little.

"Then maybe you should choose your friends wisely"

Your eyes teared up as he said that so you looked down and he immediately wanted to take his words back "I came here to apologise darling..i didn't come here to upset you further"

"Then why are you doing that!?" Your voice choked as tears began to build up so he cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead, no tears came out but you still felt the pads of his thumbs caressing your cheeks tenderly.

"Ask me to not sleep with her again, and I'd never touch her, if this thing bothers you so deeply then I'd never ever look at her again"

He whispered softly so you looked up at him, this was your chance to tell him that you didn't want him to sleep with her, in fact you didn't want him to sleep with anyone. But as you opened your mouth the truth just refused to come out.

"You can do whatever you want..uncle..it's not my place to ask you for such a thing. I'm just acting out because I feel overwhelmed by my privileged people problems"

He chuckled as you said that.

"At Least you're aware of that"

His fingers ruffled your hair before he kissed the top of your head and stepped away from you.

"Have fun" you told him so he nodded, he wished you had asked him to not touch Cassandra again and he'd have obliged, he cared about you and he didn't want you to feel upset by his actions or feel hurt in any ways. And there was a part of him that just wanted you to accept that you felt something more towards him, something more than just feelings you'd have for an uncle.

"Mister Daemon'" He turned around as you called for him, this was the first time you had taken his name since he had returned.

"I'm not dating or planning to date Aemond..i wouldn't want to do anything that would make you leave again for whatever reasons..i hope you feel the same way.. about staying here ..in London i mean"

You didn't ask him directly but you told him what he wanted to hear from you. You weren't going to date his nephew for his sake..So he had to cut Cassandra off completely.

He was ready for that, but then what? What would happen between you two then?

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀🙃🙃

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[thisismeracing]

hiii, would you mind doing prompt 8 with lewis hamilton please ? i love your writing 🥹

Heyyy 🥹💓 thanks, I'm really glad to hear that, nonny!!! here you go, hope you like it!

From the Quick Prompt List: 8. “You said you wanted to be my friend”

word count: 1.4k (I GOT CARRIED AWAY AGAIN AAAAAA)

pairing: reader (she/her pronouns) x lewis hamilton

warnings: angst (w happy ending), not proofread, mentions of a breakup, pinning - friends to lovers trope.

When Yn called crying he didn't waste any time to show up at her door. Lewis knew he was the first person she called because that was just how they worked, they prioritized the other above all things. That was one of the reasons Jackson, Yn's ex, gave for the sudden breakup, he thought they were in love, he thought that Lewis was a looming figure, he felt like a third party in his own relationship, and it didn't matter how many times Yn repeated they were just friends Jackson was convinced either Lewis and Yn were too blind to see or he was being lied to.

When the pilot got there he used the spare key he had to get inside, he took some seconds to look around the living room, some tissues on top of the coffee table, along with an open pint of ice cream and one of her favorite books.

"Hey," he whispered when Yn showed up at the door separating the kitchen from the living room. She gave him a weak smile before running into his open arms and letting the storm take its place.

"He didn't even have a good reason, Lew," she sobbed burying her head in the crook of his neck.

Lewis brought her body close and gave a light tap on her back, a sign for her to lace her legs around him so that he could carry her. He walked with Yn, now tangled in his body, to the couch where they sat together, and he heard the way she complained about the breakup. She wasn't telling him everything, though, and he knew well enough because after all, he was her best friend, yet he chose to just listen and comfort her.

The British watched as his own heart broke at the sight of the woman he loved crying over someone else. ]

"Am I unlovable? Am I a bad lover?" Yn asked after her cries subsided, Lewis's hands going up and down her back in a soothing caress. Her question was more of a conversation with herself because her first two exes complained about her best friend too, which at the time she thought was just jealousy, now, the third time sends her a message, right? No way three of her last partners didn't like Lewis without a reason. What's there not to like about him? she thought. "I must be horrible to be around," she muttered in a huff and Lewis took a deep breath deciding he had enough.

He didn't want to confess his feelings like this, but he also couldn't watch as Yn searched for a problem inside her when it wasn't about her, but about those idiots who let her go. Who could have her a let her go? And Lewis knew her enough to know that he would try to explain for hours and she would still say the problem was her, so he decided it was time to come clean.

"The problem is not you, Yn, it was never you. It can't be you because it pains me to not be around you, it physically hurts me not being able to hug you all the time. I wish I could carry you around everywhere, I wish you could be my forever. You could never be the problem, because you're the solution, at least to me. I love you so much and it fucking kills me to watch you cry for yet another guy all the while trying to search problems on yourself when you're just...perfect."

Yn was silent for a minute. Her eyes were wide open staring ahead of Leiws at her white walls, lips slightly parted. For a second he thought that maybe he was good at hiding his feelings. It's a beat before she's scrambling off his lap, leaving the couch and standing in the middle of her living room with an accusatory look towards him.

"You said you wanted to be my friend!" Yn sticks her point finger at him, her other hand holding at her chest like it would prevent her heart from beating any faster.

Lewis keeps his sitting position on the couch, head hanging down before mustering the courage to look her in the eyes again, "I didn't lie," he states.

"Then you care to explain to me how all of a sudden you're in love with me?"

"It's not sudden, I've been in love with you for years now, Yn. You just didn't see it," his tone is not harsh but his words made her take a step back. "When we met and I said I wanted to be your friend I wasn't lying, I still wanna be your best friend, but I want to be your lover as well, I want you to have a friend in your partner because I know you never did with the other guys. I want everything with you," Lewis confessed.

Yn shakes her head, tears spilling from her eyes like a waterfall. The realization that maybe all her past boyfriends were right: she was oblivion to the fact that there was something between her and her best friend. He loved her and Yn felt guilty for a second because she couldn't find it in her to deny that maybe it was mutual. Maybe she went through three breakups in the past few years because she was afraid of being alone and having to face her own feelings for Lewis.

Still, she shook her head looking away.

She watched from her peripheral vision as Lewis got up from her couch, one hand inside the pockets of his pants, the other sticking in her direction, instinctively she took a step back.

He winced.

It physically hurt her too, but she couldn't stop the tears nor the tsunami of thoughts about all their interactions and all her feelings and how she was blind to the truth all this time.

"Call me if you need me," the Brit whispered before heading to the door and leaving Yn to the sound of her own breath and then the sound of her own sobs because now she was crying harder than when Jackson broke up with her. The truth was, she did not really care about Jackson, she liked him just fine, his breaking up with her hurt her ego and put her on the spot of looking inside herself again, which was not good, or so she thought.

But Lewis leaving?

Lewis leaving felt like part of her went too. Like someone broke her in half and threw the other piece somewhere no one could find.

How would life be without Lewis?

She took some time to think, took hours watching the city go by from her window, all while mentally cursing herself. She could have faced it before. They could have been together for years. Yn was so tired of letting her fears speak louder than her desires. Lewis was so much braver and bolder than her, she took a deep breath and prayed for it to rub a bit in her, his boldness, his courage because it was too late to back away when the Uber accepted her ride to his address.

It was the middle of the night, almost two thirty in the morning the last time she checked her phone, but still, she wanted to be bold, to have courage, she didn't want to waste any more time.

Yn buzzed his doorbell nonstop until a pajama-clad Lewis Hamilton opened the door with a confused frown on his face. She didn't give him much time to question before starting.

"I am so sorry, I feel so dumb, I should have been more honest with myself and with you, Lewis."

"I-" he started, but she cut him off.

"I love you," she confessed. "I love you too and I was just too afraid to lose our friendship to confess it, I didn't want to see my feelings for what it was, and I made you suffer in the process. I am truly sorry for that."

It was like a height left her shoulders.

"Am I still in time to be your best friend but also your lover and biggest admirer and whatever more there is to be?"

Lewis chuckled rolling his eyes at her cute antics before sweeping her off of her feet into a tight hug that gave them just enough space to stare at each other's faces and finally kiss.

Wrote this while listening to "Nobody gets me" by queen SZA. Hope yall like this, I am way too sleepy to try and proofread or look for basic mistakes, so I'm really sorry if you see those. Don't forget to like, reblog, yada yada yada it makes me happy and inspires me to write more, do it without thinking twice <3 *mwah*