#the entire situation is just a huge shitshow and everyone of them is to blame not just steven

[shouty-mcnubbs]

I feel like this could be a pretty nice lesson in parasocial relationships tbh

[helenazbmrskai]

Las(t) Vegas Ring [Teaser]

I didn’t forget about this story guys I’m working on it and while you wait I thought it would be nice to give you a teaser, also if you want to get tagged when I release it feel free to tell me and lastly, thank you for anticipating my fic!

Title Las(t) Vegas Ring [one shot; teaser]

Pairing Namjoon x Reader

Genre angst, crack/humour, romance, got married in las vegas au, newly established relationship, smut, fluff, strangers to lovers

Summary Attending your sister’s wedding in Las Vegas helps you cross out two things on your bucket list, first you got to visit Las Vegas so you know you’re in for a wild night and two, you always wanted to get married yourself even if the circumstances are not so favourable. (or.) You wake up next to your sister’s husband’s best man naked and with a ring on your destinated finger and not only did you get married and have no recollection of such a thing but you took his virginity too.

Warning(s) nothing for the teaser

Word count 1.28k (10k in total)

Teaser release date 2021.05.30 

Masterlist

”So you’re telling me that you not only got married to the Kim Namjoon from Kim corp. but took his virginity?” Sohyun wheezes once you tell her the news that caused you intense headaches ever since you woke up in the same bed as your sister’s husband’s best man. The headaches started partly from the extreme hungover that morning but the better part was because of this new arrangement that you can’t quite wrap your head around just yet. This stranger that you only just met at your sister’s wedding for the first time now suddenly become your lawfully right husband.

You always wanted to get married and have kids of your own but this is not how you imagined meeting your husband. It’s less than 48 hours that you set your eyes on his dirty blond hair and charming dimples under the shady nightclub’s sparking lights and now, suddenly you two are husband and wife in front of the law and on top of that, he’s the Ceo of Kim Corp. the head of the biggest car import business in the entire industry that makes things even more complicated. Not that it wasn’t before that.

You heard crazy stories before from friends who let loose in Las Vegas but you always thought you would never drink that much to let it cloud your rightful judgement skills. They might have gotten arrested for public indecency but at least they are not married to a multimillionaire who despises their whole being after they just literally met. A part of you can’t even blame him because, this is straight-up crazy, waking up with a band around your destined finger was a huge shock, to say the least. Almost resembling a picture-perfect scene you see in your favourite K-dramas.

He tries to put all the blame on you even though it’s clear that marriage requires two signatures to become legalized and as far as you remember you didn’t make him drink shots after shots at the party.

It isn’t your fault that he got blackout drunk and married you on a whim. You’re not saying that this is not crazy, and it’s still hard to completely wrap your head around the consequences but he took his part in it as much as your drunk ass did. So you think this silent treatment on his end is rather childish for someone who operates a whole blooming business even though you heard that his father still supervises his work. He acts like a kid throwing a tantrum over lost candy and you’re getting tired of talking to his secretary that always tells you he’s busy or out of the office magically when you want to reach him. It supposed to be easy to clear up – you just need to file for divorce and everything can go back to where it was before in your very normal and mundane life.

She starts slapping her highs under the chair cloth but then she sees the elegant bend around your fourth finger on your left hand. You’re not sure why you haven’t taken it off yet, considering that your husband refuses to see you. Maybe it has to do with the busy life that you need to get a hang of again after your getaway trip and everything’s a little fresh in your mind. Las Vegas was beautiful and adapting back to your normal life seems to be harder than you first thought it will be.

Sohyun squeals like you didn’t tell her just now you got married in Las Vegas and grabs your hand like she intends to dislocate your shoulder with the sheer force of her pull. It’s a great temptation to let her hair sit with the bleach on but you don’t own this salon and you need to save money for the lawsuit that’s probably going your way very soon after you married Kim Namjoon –against his will as he put it.

However, no one seemed to consider how you felt about this whole ordeal. The last day spent in Las Vegas was a shitshow with thrown accusations and bad blood between the two families as they argued who should be the one to blame when it truly is something that should be only discussed between you and him. It’s your life, your business after all. You only just got married but you’re here to get the divorce process going, just thinking about Namjoon’s glare gives you a massive headache and shivers. This is not at all how you imagined your life. Not to say your married life. Call you a hopeless romantic but you always imagined your husband to be someone simple and caring, who would make you breakfast in bed and kiss you goodnight. Someone that you love and can rely on when you’re having a bad day and vice versa, just simple things like that. It shouldn’t be too much to ask.

”What exactly happened in Las Vegas? Tell me everything and don’t let any detail out. I need to know every little thing that you can remember.”

You snort at her clear enthusiasm, you would like to know every little detail yourself but the problem is, you have absolutely no idea how this happened in the first place. As much as you can recall from your foggy memories you didn’t even go near him – there’s was no reason to – as you two were strangers who so happened to learn each other’s names because he was your sister’s husband’s best man and sat next to each other at the wedding it’s natural that you at least learned his name but how you two ended up together in a church to get married is beyond your imagination. It’s on the top of the list of the few crazy things that you’ve ever done in your life and it had to be him that you knot the ties with.

It’s been a full week after the plane landing and getting back in Seoul and the memory of that night seems to be lost forever in the depths of your brain or maybe none of them registered there. You had no idea before this trip that you are capable of being that shit faced to the extent that you forget most parts of your wildest night with the richest person that you know exists. Waking up in his hotel room and seeing your clothes on the floor came as a huge shock and when he accused you of forcing him into sex. It was one of the most stressful experiences in your life and none of you could remember what happened. Even a casino dept would have been better at least you can make money but you can’t give back his virginity that you don’t even remember taking.

Namjoon wasn’t subtle about showing his distaste for the situation first thing in the morning and barely letting you put on your clothes before he kicked you out. It was intense as both of you yelled at each other he was immensely rude but you felt a little bad when he admitted it was his first time sleeping with someone.

In your opinion virginity was never something that you cared much about but it seemed like that he cared about it a lot. He probably didn’t intend for you to hear it but the overbearing silence that took over the room let you hear every anxious breath and frustrated hair pull. Not remembering the night that he lost his virginity, you can sympathise with that part but it doesn’t justify his behaviour towards you when you’re as confused as he is. Burying his face into the sand won’t solve his problems.

taglist: @hearteuforjoonie, @jooahchu, @xyahrinx, @baby-noodles​, (I hope I got everyone!)

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #19- Ambulon and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

We got a major reveal at the end of last issue, and now it’s time to put the rest of the pieces together so we can finally understand the mystery that is the Ultra Magnus situation.

So back when Magnus’ seemingly lifeless body stole a shuttle, fucked off into space and landed on the moon, Tyrest was there to greet him.

And by “greet him”, I mean punch through the windshield and carry him bridal style, as if he weighed no more than a baby bird, into his moon base.

Pharma did his thing with his crazy new hands, Magnus was saved, and he woke up shortly after his lifesaving operation. Then Tyrest punched Magnus in the face, because fuck the healing process. He’s an engineer, not a doctor, he doesn’t deal with the SOUL and FEELINGS or anything like that.

In the here and now, Rodimus is still trying to comprehend the fact that his SIC isn’t dead, and is also actually another, much smaller guy with a mustache. Minimus Ambus attempts to explain just what the hell is going on, and we get back to our flashback.

After some good old-fashioned face violence, Tyrest showed Magnus around the place, specifically the terminal he’d set up for his on-the-fly, real-time law amending. With how many war crimes the Cybertronian race has committed in the last several million years, I’m sure it was needed.

Dang, wonder who pissed off Big Brother.

Magnus is more concerned about how it is exactly he isn’t dead right now, and also why his boss looks like a swiss cheese party platter.

Turns out that Tyrest isn’t actually mad at Magnus, just disappointed. He went and read his diary while the operation was happening, and in the 18 months that the Knight Quest has been running, Tyrest has deemed the work done to be unsatisfactory. Instead of arresting criminals, Magnus had been handling infractions so minor, most people wouldn’t have even noticed them. Tyrest doesn’t know where he went wrong.

Well, Tyrest, it was probably the anxiety that manifested itself as OCD, because you picked someone without factoring what the end of the war might do to them. Magnus needs structure to flourish, and if he cannot find it, he will make it himself. I mean, look at all this:

No wonder he was struggling on the chaos engine that is the Lost Light.

Still, Tyrest wants nothing to do with someone who’s cracked under the pressure (lack of pressure?) and the deal was that Magnus only got to be Magnus if he did what Tyrest wanted. Tyrest divests him with the literal push of a button.

Good grief, he’s naked!

As Minimus Ambus mourns over the loss of his stature, both literal and position-wise, we get back to the present, in a double-page spread no less, as Minimus tells everyone about the storied history of the Magnus Armor. Ultra Magnus was originally an actual person, but then he died, and Tyrest was kind of bummed out about that, so he decided to make up a lie (lying, while perhaps morally dubious is not illegal, so he’s allowed to do that) that Magnus faked his death, and then built the armor. There were at least a few wearers of the armor prior to Minimus, some of who were even known by the other crew members. Whenever someone got offed, their hand would spasm and press a recall button in their palm, which would bring the Magnus Armor, and the dead body inside, back to Tyrest.

You can tell he’s still real shaken up about losing the Magnus Armor, because he’s truncating his words. Poor guy.

Minimus asks what exactly happened after he got stabbed, seeing as he was too busy dying to really pay attention to the Overlord plot. Rodimus tells him it’s been handled. Brainstorm jumps in, wanting to know about the other things on Minimus’ resume, which leads into Minimus revealing the fact that he is a Point One Percenter, and something known as a Load Bearer. Load Bearers circumvent that niggling little issue that we saw presented in the “Shadowplay” arc, where spark strain due to not being able to handle a different frame type would outright kill you. Minimus doesn’t have that problem.

Tailgate wants to know how exactly it is that Minimus isn’t dead, seeing as he was clearly on his way out prior to his grand theft auto. Tailgate may have a personal interest in that sort of information, what with still being terminal and all.

Everyone’s real handsy this issue.

Minimus lets Tailgate know that Tyrest’s medical equipment is off the hook, and we get a reminder that Tailgate’s got basically a day left to live. Harsh, Roberts.

Back in Minimus’ flashback, Tyrest sort-of apologizes for punching him in the face, and laments on the loss of one of his greatest Enforcers of the Tyrest Accord.

Oh, so you DID know that this was a possibility, and instead of ordering your subordinate to go make that follow-up appointment with the only therapist on Cybertron- which, while being borderline sectioning, would have at least kept Minimus from sending emails to Rodimus about how he was spiraling- you just let it happen. The Vector Sigma pulse wave went all over the galaxy, there’s zero possibility you didn’t hear about the end of the war before Magnus loaded up on the Lost Light and didn’t call for a year and a half.

Anyway, so Tyrest’s got a new Enforcer lined up, seeing as he’s going to retire the Magnus Armor after all the shenanigans Minimus got dragged through while wearing it. Let’s see what we’re working with.

I thought we were supposed to have separation of church and state, what the hell?

In the present, Rodimus has questions, mainly about why there are so many people in this prison cell. Minimus admits that he asked to be put in here, to try and prove Rodimus and friends’ innocence on the charge of harboring a criminal, by recording their conversation and proving that they had no idea what SKIDS deal was.

Yep, Skids did a bad, and Tyrest wants him in jail.

Minimus also drops the bomb that everyone else in this cell is going to get he death penalty for that whole “crimes against creation” thing. I mean, all Tyrest has to do is wait for a little while and Tailgate will be dealt with, no sweat.

Minimus pulls a device out of his hip compartment, uses it to disrupt the electro-bars of the cell (it’s cool, he was an undercover cop for this whole thing and can therefore break out of prison without it being a crime), and goes to have a chat with his boss about all the weird new stuff he’s shoved into the Autobot Code in the last year and a half. Rodimus doesn’t really want him to leave, but there’s no time for that, because the cell just got a little more full.

Uh oh, Swerve’s badge has gone missing again. Rung, why don’t you slap yours on his crotch, that way Minimus won’t try to murder him when he gets back?

While this is happening, Whirl and Cyclonus are standing on the rim of a smelting pool, absolutely not having a dick measuring contest.

Luna 1 said Bi Rights.

There’s a structure built over the pool that looks an awful lot like living quarters, but is probably actually a prison that violates the Geneva convention. Whirl suggests they find some weapons and go hog-wild, but Cyclonus is more concerned about finding something. When Whirl asks what in the hell he could possibly be looking for in this sort of crisis, Cyclonus turns into a moody teenager.

Well, at least he’s respecting Tailgate’s wish to keep his looming demise under wraps. Not that Cyclonus tells anyone anything anyway.

Over in the Luna 1 medibay, Ratchet is being subjected to having his very fucking soul threatened with a paring knife. Pharma’s having what probably an inappropriate amount of fun, especially since he’s realized that Ratchet took his goddamn hands after the shitshow that was Delphi.

It turns out that every single piece of tech that Ultra Magnus ever repossessed is floating around on Luna 1, even the stuff that really ought to have been destroyed. This is why they were able to save Magnus from certain death at the start of the issue. Somehow I’m not surprised that Tyrest kept all those toys for himself. Corruption of an authority figure? In my Cybertronian Justice System? It’s more likely than you think.

Some of the little art quirks in MTMTE are added in by Milne- see Brainstorm holding any handgun ever if you’d like an example- but I know for a FACT that Pharma humping Ratchet’s headless body was specified by Roberts.

Ratchet, unimpressed and likely mildly queasy by the display going on before him, proposes that Pharma’s afraid of failure, which is why he hasn’t taken his hands back. Pharma disagrees, and a wager is set to see who the better doctor is- winner gets to keep the hands.

Over with the fly boys, alarms are going off in a deserted building, as Whirl struggles to open a door with his claws. Cyclonus takes over on door duty, and asks why Whirl hasn’t gotten his shit fixed yet.

Whirl’s worried that if he gets help for his trauma, he’s going to lose a huge part of himself as a person, and then where will he be? Of course, he says it in a much more Whirly fashion, full of vitriolic self-blame, but reading between the lines is fun. Whirl fires the “let’s get into each other’s personal issues even though both of us hate talking about ourselves and also each other” missile right back at Cyclonus. He wants to know about Cyclonus’ facial situation.

Cyclonus doesn’t like this question.

Then he gets stabbed with a sword.

Back with the docs, it’s apparently much later, as Ratchet’s just woken up from surgery and has a body again. He gets up from the operating table and finds that Pharma’s gone ahead with setting up their gentleman’s wager.

First Aid seems less than pleased with the current situation. Ambulon’s arms are long as hell in this panel, and he doesn’t seem entirely present in the moment. Maybe he’s practicing Rungian Re-Experience Therapy.

Pharma wants to cut both of the boys in half to see who can put the pieces together back the fastest. Ratchet tries to deescalate the situation, because he’s usually pretty good at it, but Pharma’s set on using his chainsaw attachment on someone today.

Ratchet attempts to console his coworkers, saying that their Springer-on-Pova treatment be over soon, and they’ll get a nice lollipop at the end for being such brave little robots.

Then Pharma cuts Ambulon in half, in a way that Ratchet hadn’t accounted for.

We’re gonna need a little more than some bandaids and a kiss to make it feel better for this one. It’s amazing what censorship laws will let you get away with when the blood isn’t red.

Speaking of blood, Cyclonus is more or less okay with being stabbed, because Whirl did him a solid and chopped his assailant in half- lengthways- with a super sweet sword he found in the armory they just opened up. Cyclonus pulls the blade out of his midriff and we finally find out what happened to the Circle of Light.

Back in the prison cell, Perceptor’s been given the job of doctor, even though Rung, Swerve, and Chromedome are all here and at least somewhat closer to being general practice doctors than our science sniper.

Seems like Swerve filled everyone in on the situation on the Lost Light off-panel, which is good, because they’ve been in the dark up to this point.

Chromedome hypothesizes that the reason Skids is a wanted man has to do with that mysterious gun he was holding when he fell out of the sky all the way back in issue #2. This is the point where Skids wakes up from his stabbing and admits that this is probably what happened, even though he still has no recollection of ever stealing the gun or even it existing up until he entered the story, but he apologizes for the trouble anyway.

Shh.  Someone’s coming down the corridor. It’s Star Saber, and he’s brought yet another prisoner to stuff in this cell.

And there’s something else. Can you hear it?

Is… is that music?

Are those the beginning synth riffs of “Tainted Love" by Soft Cell?

Over with Minimus, we’re treated to a taste of Tyrest’s personal brand of disinterest, then get a quick run-down of the birds and the bees. The forging process is a little more convoluted than originally implied, needing Primus to send out a pulse wave through Vector Sigma in order for the Hot Spots to be ignited.

Then the pulse waves started to slow down, Nova Prime had a little freak out, and cold construction was invented to prevent the Cybertronian race from becoming an endangered species.

Minimus of course knows all of this, because he, like basically half of the cast of MTMTE, is old as shit. What he DOESN’T know is that cold construction isn’t managed the way that anyone thought that it was, because there was a government coverup going on about the whole thing. You don’t splice sparks to make a new one, you use the Matrix to create new life.

I know, it’s crazy.

Tyrest was on the team that fiddled around with the Matrix until it started spitting out robot zygotes, and he’s now convinced that they bled the Matrix dry. Nobody tell him what happened to the thing after the war ended.

Wait. If the pulse waves have stopped, and the Matrix is busted beyond repair, doesn’t that mean they can’t make any more Transformers? Once they finish up on their stockpile of sparks, that’s it. No more. The Transformers are a protected species now, we’ve got to treat them like giant pandas.

One of his team members stole the Matrix and hid it in the black market, so its strange, mystical baby powers could never be used again. Except someone obviously found it later on, because we have half of it on the Lost Light. Minimus isn’t sure why any of this is actually relevant to the current situation, or why Tyrest feels guilty about pulling a Eugenesis Fulcrum and finding out where babies come from.

Tyrest is convinced that by draining the Matrix, his team somehow corrupted it, and all the sparks made by this corrupted Matrix are straying further and further from Primus. This is why Rodimus and friends have been charged with crimes against creation- some of their party were created in a way that predisposes them to crime. Or so Tyrest thinks.

I thought we were supposed to have separation of church and state, what the hell? This is still the same guy who was appointed as Chief Justice by the space pope because of his levelheadedness, right?

Yes, actually, but this sudden flip in priorities and personality has been induced by the guilt he felt during the Aequitas trials. Tyrest turned to self harm to deal with the weight of it all, and one day tried to go for what in most species would have been a suicide, by drilling with his drill fingers into the spot between his eyes. Instead, he most likely gave himself a lobotomy and became a religious zealot, fully believing that the gods are real, and he can go visit them by using his super-cool space portal.

Outside the moon base, Whirl and Cyclonus have freed the Circle of Light, and everyone’s ready to kick some ass. Both the fly boys have found themselves a Great Sword to play with, further cementing Cyclonus as our replacement Drift. Rodimus will be so thrilled.

Dai Atlas, the leader of the Circle of Light, tells our boys that there used to be a lot more of his group, but a lot of folks ended up being used to build Legislators.

Hm. I’m sure that’ll never be brought up again, and won’t paint future events in a much darker light. Nope. Absolutely not.

Cyclonus thinks that they need to get a move on, because if that sort of horrific shit can happen to the Circle of Light, it can also happen to Tailgate and the others. He does specifically name Tailgate in his dialogue, but it’s not like he actually cares about the guy, right? Feelings are for nerds.

Then the Legislators show up and it’s party time.

Wonder how that’s going to work out for you, Whirl.

Back with Tyrest, it’s revealed that Tyrest’s plan has a small snag- only people completely absolved of their guilt can go to Cyberutopia to hang out with Primus and the gang, and Tyrest is feeling awful guilty. Not about his weird space-eugenics thing, but about inventing cold construction. Now, how in the world is he going to handle this?

By committing a genocide.

Minimus is, understandably, not a fan of this plan. Tyrest had anticipated that the Universal Killswitch wouldn’t be universally appreciated, and has some of the new law come into play.

And that’s a series wrap on Minimus Ambus! Let’s give him a hand, folks!

[laurelwinchester]

The spn fandom is a mess right now omg. JP stans are wildin defending him and saying he's done nothing wrong and the JA and MC stans are making jokes and sending the mugshot pic to JP stans to taunt them. There's no side that's not showing their ass ugh

yep. the fandom is basically on fire right now. i mean, let’s break this shitshow down...

you’ve got the jared stans being EXTRA extra, whining and crying like someone has died, tripping all over themselves to defend him, worrying about him more than they're worrying about the people he assaulted. they're actively blaming the victims, saying that everyone gets drunk and punches people, everyone assaults a bartender or two in their time, everyone gets arrested. there are stans having what appear to be legitimate breakdowns because some cw dude got himself arrested. i saw one person who said she cried so much she made herself physically sick. like ?????? my fave fucked up once, admittedly not to this degree, but you know what i did? i moved on with my day because my entire self worth and mental health is not tied to a goddamn cw actor.

and worst of all, they're saying it's okay. they’re hand waving his behavior and blaming it on his depression, which is so wildly offensive that i don’t even know where to start.

then you’ve got the douchey little shits making jokes, sending jared stans the mugshot (usually after the person has specifically said they do not want to see it), and using it as their twitter/tumblr icon. i don't find this situation as hilarious as they apparently do. i also do not enjoy deliberately hurting people, as annoying as those jared stans may be. i guess i'm not ~edgy~ enough to get the joke.

absolutely none of that behavior is right. none of it. not from any side. every bit of it is immature, petty, unhealthy, shockingly ignorant, and just straight up cringeworthy as hell.

what jared did was inexcusable and gross, wrong on so many levels, and i hope there are harsh consequences. i don’t disagree that he needs help and i would normally have more patience for addiction issues because i firmly believe that it’s a deeply misunderstood disease that most people are dicks about, but i’m finding it hard to sympathize now that i know one of the people he assaulted had blood running down their face. right now my thoughts are more with the people he physically injured and his poor wife and kids who have to deal with the fallout of his stupid, reckless, harmful decisions. if i wasn't a fan before, i am certainly not one now.

but if this situation has taught me anything, it's that almost everyone in the spn fandom is a huge fucking asshole. everyone. all sides. jared stans, jensen stans, misha stans. just jackasses all around. it's a massive MASSIVE fandom and yet there is not one single brain cell to be found. i’d say i hope these people grow up a bit so they don���t end up like jared, but i won’t hold my breath.

[dehvastation]

Back to Reality (With @MismatchedFreak)

Qhuinn - [“Qhuinn, we need every available person at this event. Dehvastation will likely be there anyway considering who it’s for, don’t you think it makes sense for him to be armed and ready just in case we need him.” I shook my head and narrowed my eyes as I listened to Tohr. We had gone over this already and we were no closer to coming to an agreement. Hell, I didn’t think most of the trainees were ready for an event of this magnitude, but my nallum with his vision issues, yeah, I sure as fuck didn’t want him to be in the direct line of danger. “He needs this, Qhuinn. You told Wrath you could handle this and we need all hands on deck. Do you know the last time we had all of us together like this?” I narrowed my eyes] Fuck you, Tohr. You know I get the importance of the damn night, but you cannot blame me for wanting to keep him safe. You want the event safe, keep Bernie and Tie back as well because you letting them attend is a slap in the fucking face to the rest. Between those two and worrying that Wrath will be covered and Dehv’s vision…

[Tohr held up his hand, “Wrath’s blind, you wanna tell him he’s not capable because that’s what you’re doing with this shit. You’re saying Dehv can’t handle it because of his eyes and that’s essentially saying Wrath shouldn’t…” I slapped my hands on the desk] And how many times have you all tried to keep him out of the field? Keep him from situations like this? Wrath had fucking time to get used to this shit, Tohr.

Dehv: ~ I settled in the car as Fritz drove me to the trainee centre. Since my sight kept flicking in and out it had been decided that driving wasn’t the best course of action. So I was being driven, not that I minded. I tended to do that anyway just because I hated driving in cities with the continual stop and start. It meant I could deal with business on the journey. Though at the moment I’d put that side of things on hold so I could focus on training and in the last few weeks, recovery. Now I was on the way to the training centre for the first time since I’d been called out on that emergency with Vishous. I didn’t mind really, I was excited. I couldn’t wait to find out whether I was able to join in with the various sessions or even help out in other ways that were needed. I knew going out on patrol might not be a good thing, but surely there was other ways I could be helpful. I’d got the call after Qhuinn had left for his shift, so I was fairly sure he probably knew what it was about, and that was even better. I knew that he’d have my back to ensure I did what was needed to get be back on my feet. 

I was out the car almost before it stopped moving and making my way towards the training centre. I knew that I’d likely got here in the middle of a practical session, so rather than go to the gym I made my way towards the office. I figured if Tohr had phoned, then letting him know I was there would be the easiest thing to do. I didn’t bother stopping into the changing rooms yet, my bag still slung over my shoulder. That would be for after, once I knew if I was allowed to participate or not. I really hoped so, I was getting twitchy. As I got closer to the office I could hear raised voices, immediately knowing Qhuinn’s and Tohr’s. I slowed my steps and paused as I heard ‘You’re saying Dehv can’t handle it because of his eyes and that’s essentially saying Wrath shouldn’t…’ I frowned and swallowed hard as I felt my heart beat increase. The blood rushing through my veins enough that all I could hear was the thundering noise of Qhuinn saying that he’d be worried for me protecting Wrath with my vision. I turned fast and made my way back towards the lockers. I needed to get changed and maybe go and see if I could join in a session. Can’t fucking handle it because of my eyes. I’d be damned if I was going to let that alone stop me from whatever they’d been discussing was happening. And if Qhuinn didn’t think I was capable, then he could fucking tell me to my face in front of the other trainees. ~

Qhuinn: [“You can’t keep him locked up fore….” I shook my head again as Tohr started to kick up. Something twinged in my chest and my nostrils flared, but then I shook my head again as I tried to plead my case. I narrowed my eyes at Tohr and leaned close] I never said he couldn’t handle the shit, I said I wanted to keep him safe. What happens if his eyesight fucks off on him while everyone else is busy? What if he gets caught up by humans or lessers, or the fucking enemy. He won’t know where the doors are, which paths are clear, or any of that shit. And don’t give me any of this shit about it being because of what he means to me. If it were any of the other trainees going through this, I’d fight just as hard to keep them safe. That’s OUR job. 

[Tohr’s attention diverted monetarily towards the door and his lips curved up into a little smirk. “You’re not winning this one Qhuinn. Go tend to the class and let the trainees know what’s up. I want them ready in less than an hour.” I wanted to say something else but I knew it was pointless at this time. Instead I spun on my heels and whipped open his door hard enough it bounced off the wall before I stormed towards the classroom. I barely heard Tohr’s “Good luck” and the sound of his laughter before I closed the classroom door behind me. Every trainee’s head popped up when I entered the room and a few took steps back once they saw my face. Great. Just how I wanted the night to go. Then, my nostrils flared again and that sensation coursed through me. My male was here. Fuck. I didn’t even have to figure out what I was going to say to him about this shitshow of a night. I tried to force myself to calm down before he saw me but he had this odd ability to see right through me. I was so fucked]

Dehv: ~ I changed quickly in the locker room. Knowing that I didn’t have a huge amount of time before the class ended. I really wanted to see what everyone was up to and maybe get in a little time with the punching bag. I rolled out the tension in my shoulders, even as my chest ached. I knew that Qhuinn was protective of me, but I was seriously pissed that he was intentionally benching me. If Tohr thought that it was ok for me to help with whatever it was they were about to announce, then Qhuinn should get his head around it and agree. I wasn’t about to cause any problems, and I was more than capable of putting in some kind of contingency plan in case my eyes decided to fuck me over. There would be plenty of seats or rooms away from the main function that I could wait in should I need to. I grumbled to myself until I was dressed in joggers and a loose tank. I made my way quickly down the corridor and slipped into the gym where I could hear the various sounds of males getting their asses kicked. I felt excitement bubble in my chest even though it hadn’t been all that long since I’d been training. I felt like it had been forever. I waited just inside until Davidson and Nhick saw me, then I grinned when they both dropped what they were doing and came over to check I was doing ok. All happy that I was back in the gym after not seeing me for the last few weeks. I got the nod from Phury to show that he was happy for us to catch up a little before class ended. “Looks like you get to skive off for a few minutes. What have I missed?” I nodded my head towards to back corner of the gym. Figuring if Qhuinn came in to announce, he’d come in the doors I’d just walked through. Which meant from the back I’d have a clear line of sight to him, and him to me, when he gave whatever announcement I wasn’t allowed to be part of. It was unlikely that he’s be able to give out the announcements and not include me in it. And I was thoroughly looking forward to seeing how he was going to explain to everyone why he felt I wasn’t good enough to be on the ground with them. I chatted to Nhick and Davidson for a few more minutes before the door slammed open. I stood automatically and watched as everyone took a step backwards. I wasn’t sure if anyone knew about me and Qhuinn yet, since we’d only got the go ahead after my accident, but from the nudge from my friends I figured they weren’t the only to notice I didn’t budge. Fucker couldn’t scare me, I was pissed off and I wanted to see exactly what he was going to do about that. I arched a brow and folded my arms over my chest. I could see from his expression that he was surprised to see me here, and that confirmed that I’d been called after he’d got to the training centre. I had to smile at that. They did like messing with him, and right now I was entirely on their side. ~

Qhuinn: [My brows pinched slightly at the anger rolling off Dehv. It was almost visible which made no sense. Fuck, I hope I didn’t leave the stove on or something equally stupid that meant I damn near burned the place down…again. No one had told me he’d been cleared even, which was just another big fuck you to me from the others. I really hated being the fucking youngest one on the roster with this shit. To them it was all a game and to me, I was still trying to prove I belonged. I heard some murmurings before Phury walked over and clapped me on the shoulder, “They’re all yours. Glad to see Dehvastation back tonight, we can use him.” I sighed and nodded slowly at the words, then walked to the front of the class. I waited until Phury walked out, though something told me that he and Tohr and who the hell knows who else were standing just outside to see how this was going to go down. I scrubbed my fingers through my hair and lifted my eyes once more, catching Dehv glaring. I cleared my throat and nodded slowly] So, before we begin, I got something to go over with all of you. Every one of you in this room are going to be put on special assignment, tonight. 

[I turned and grabbed the white board, then started writing down the details, time, place, and all that standard bullshit as I explained to them what was going on. I paused for a moment then spun to face Bernie and Tie who were cocky and being mouthy little dicks, talking about how they wanted to be paid, to be this, to be that. My eyes narrowed and I threw the marker, popping Bernie between the eyes with it] I’m not going to lie, if I had my way, some of you wouldn’t be involved in this at all. You two especially. Then again, I think you both deserve to be bounced and out the fucking door. If you wanna mouth off about being paid, you can sit this one out as well as any other assignments that come up. No damn skin off my nose. 

[Bernie started to advance but Tie held him back, whispering something in his ear as they both glared at me. Great. More glares.]  Any questions?

Dehv: ~ I turned when Davidson nudged me, ‘You look like someone is about to die, what’s happened?’I snorted and watched Phury start out the room. I kept my voice low and leaned in closer to my friend, “He’s trying to bench me because of my eyes. He’s argued with Tohr about it, and I guess they’re happy with me taking part in whatever we’re about to be asked to do. He’s not. And I’m more than a little pissed.” Nhick whistled from where he stood in close at my back. I hadn’t realised he could hear, but I turned slightly to look at him and shrugged a shoulder. “We don’t have to hide any more, but if he thinks I’m going to just slink off and let him keep me at home easily he’s got another thing coming.” They both hummed sympathetically. Then Davidson pipped up again ‘You know he’s only doing it because he cares about you and wants you safe. If your sight goes you’re a sitting duck.’ I growled at him and felt Nhick nudge him, ‘He’s being benched when his eyes are sorted more than they aren’t. Wrath is blind, he went out in the field. It’s about training properly not avoiding. Whose side are you on, D?” I laughed at the two of them and then sighed, “I know he cares, but I was called in to go on this assignment with you all and now I’m being pulled off it, so he can tell me when he’s talking to you all. He wants me to be a pencil pusher, he can voice it when he’s giving out assignments. His choice, he can own it.” I heard both snort at my drama, but I didn’t care. Qhuinn had made his choice, and now he was going to step up there, at the front and tell us about shit, including who was doing what.

My attention was pulled back to the front when Phury left and then Qhuinn was talking. There was some kind of event that Wrath had to attend. The Brothers would all be there, but because Wrath was going they’d be on protection duty. It was a Glymera party, so lots and lots of upper class families who would expect a good show. So instead of being asked to stay home, we were being given a chance to see what the Brotherhood did, plus be security for the event. Keep everyone safe I would assume. Though the details weren’t got to before Bernie and Tie started making a fuss. I heard the groan filter through the other trainees, and a few ‘Fuck sake’ and ‘just shut the fuck up’ coming from various places. Qhuinn dealt with it and then looked around the room. Asking if we had any questions. I wasn’t going to make a lot of issues about it just yet, instead I felt Nhick step forward and raise his hand. ‘What exactly will all our roles be? You’ve given us the where and when, but what will we all be doing while we’re there? We’re a class of 12 trainees, you got something for us all to do?’ It was said so innocently I almost missed the twitch of his mouth. The shit was goading Qhuinn. I kicked him in the ankle and smiled when he grunted and glared at me. “I hope he puts you on bathroom duty.” Nhick laughed and then focused back on Qhuinn, waiting his answer. ~

Qhuinn: [I really just wanted to get on with training rather than have to deal with this shit. The Brothers all knew it too, which is why more and more of it was piling up on my plate. They were trying to prove something, whether it was to them or to me, though, I didn’t know. Maybe it was super secret Brotherhood bullshit and since I wasn’t either a trainee or a Brother, I was left out of it. My hopes of the questions being non-existent were dashed when Nhick stepped forward. Something in his question twinged at my brain. It was no where near as innocent as he was making it seem, that I was certain. My gaze darted between him, Davidson, and Dehv. The three amigos. I knew immediately my suspicions were confirmed by the look on Dehv’s face. Something told me…well fuck me. Dehv was pissed about this and the anger radiating off him combined with Nhick’s question told me he somehow knew my questions about this whole bullshit. That was what I was feeling when Tohr and I were arguing. That sense of something…that was him being near. And now he was having Nhick do his dirty work instead of asking me privately about this? Because I didn’t have enough shit coming down on me with having to prove I could handle the training and handle him being a trainee, now I got to be questioned in front of the class because he was pissed. I blinked and the trainees were staring at me expectedly. I scrubbed my hand through my hair and nodded] There’s gonna be something for every one of you. Every entrance will need to be covered, extra security around the food and all that shit, none of you will be left out and none of you will be the ones guarding the king. I’ll dole out assignments once we get there. We’ve learned the fewer details given in advance, the less likely it is for shit to go wrong. Any other questions, Dehvastation or did I answer Nhick adequately enough for the moment? If that’s all, get geared up then meet in the garage. We’ll all be leaving in about 20 minutes. 

Dehv: ~ I snorted and rolled my eyes at the reply being directed at me. The other trainees turned to look at me, and Nhick grinned even wider. I saw him about to open his mouth and kicked him again. He spluttered and then quietened down when Davidson nudged him too. I didn’t bother answering Qhuinn. I hadn’t asked Nhick to ask anything, and I’d been as surprised with the question as Qhuinn was. I was pissed, but I wasn’t five. The fact he’d called me out without any indication that what Nhick was asking was from me just ramped up my anger. I could feel it vibrating through me and I barely felt Davidson putting a flat palm against my chest and leaning in to speak with me. Some words managed to get through. Mostly that it wasn’t worth it and that we were causing a scene. I inhaled. Exhaled. Growled on that exhale. Ok I needed to calm the fuck down. First he’d chosen to bench me when Tohr obviously thought I was more than fine to be in the field. I’d take precautions and ensure I had a legit place to go if I felt my eyes going. I just had to be prepared, which was the point of knowing in advance what was happening. This would make it harder, as it was literally the same night. But I could do that. I had the other trainees, and I thought I had Qhuinn on my side to ensure we were backing each other up and training. Surely they had various protocols in place, Wrath was blind for fucks sake. Did he not have things that he used to do in order to compensate for his blindness? I knew his had been gradual, but it didn’t mean that he hadn’t done things to ensure his safety. He was king. As we were dismissed I saw the room slowly empty, Nhick and Davidson were still either side of me. Pressing in close to try and ensure they could get to me if needed. Likely to stop me doing something stupid, but I also hoped to help me if I got my ass handed to me. I started to move and followed the others towards the door. It closed on the last trainee and left four of us in the room. I stepped up nose to nose with Qhuinn and bared my teeth as I spoke. “I didn’t ask him to question you, you fucking asshole. But since Tohr is fine with me going out tonight, I’m guessing from a lack of being told otherwise you’ve been out voted in your wish to bench me.” I knew my tone was anything but nice and it was new for us both. We fought occasionally about things, but mostly just what to eat that night or what to watch on TV. This was the first proper blow up we’d had in months. My brain wasn’t really running right and I knew as much when I brushed past him none too gently. My shoulder connecting hard with his on the way out the door. I barely heard Davidson whisper his apologies to Qhuinn as he followed me and Nhick towards the locker room. I’d got there without really noting anything at all. The whoops that were in there muted to my ears. When I saw that there was suits hanging on all the lockers it told me that we had to shower and change rather than fuck about. I assumed they’d put on transportation for the journey there. Then we’d be given our assignments. A journey in a tin can with Qhuinn. That should be so much fun. ~

Qhuinn - [I sighed as I watched Dehv storming closer. His anger was palpable and the last damn thing I needed after having this sprung on me as it was. I had had no time to prepare myself let alone plan out where to station the trainees, which was what I was supposed to be going over between now and the time we arrived. I had to prove myself to the Brothers, had to prove myself to the fucking trainees, and had to prove myself to him all without losing my damn mind in the process. I saw the looks from the other trainees at the potential scene brewing and steeled my spine for what was to come.] You might not have asked him but don’t tell me something’s not going on. You’re reacting based on what, something you heard half of, Dehvastation? You’re right, I was overruled for your safety, fuck me for giving a shit right? 

[I barely budged as he slammed into my shoulder and passed me by. I shook my head at Davidson’s apology and barely managed to grit out for them to get their asses in the rig. I took another minute or two to calm my breath, my notebook with the event details curled up in my fist. I spun and threw it at the door and let out a low rumbling growl as I tried to calm myself down. This was going to be a disaster, I knew it. We’d not fought like this, not walked away angry before. That was something we talked about. The fact he didn’t even give me a chance to try to explain…I threw my fist into the wall after the notebook and then drew it back with a grimace. That crunch hadn’t been good, but obviously it didn’t fucking matter right now. Tohr poked his head in, “Move your ass, we gotta go.” I flipped him off then grabbed the notebook and followed him to the garage where the two rigs were loading up. Most of the trainees were still changing so I took a seat near front of the rig and began to pour over the notebook, trying to figure out positions as I brainstormed with Tohr.]

Dehv: ~ Davidson bumped into as we made our way into the showers. “You’re ridiculous. You know that right.” I grunted and slammed my hand into the button to start the water above my head. He wasn’t finished though, “He’s not benching you, he’s looking out for you. I’d do the same if I was in his shoes. You know how fucked up it was when we didn’t see you here and didn’t know what had happened. Even worse once we know what did happen and what could have happened.” I narrowed my eyes at him and opened my mouth to speak. I didn’t need to though, because Nhick shoved in between the two of us and poked his finger in Davidson’s face. “No. Tohr thinks it’s fine. Then Qhuinn should be running with that and figuring out a way to ensure it happens safely. We’ll all have some kind of injury if we keep training and go out on rotation with the Brotherhood. At some point it’s inevitable that we’ll get injured. I don’t want to be benched because I lost a thumb nail or something. Wrath used to be out in the field. You’ve heard all the stories of it. And he’s got no vision. He’s learned a whole bunch of other ways to understand what someone is doing or saying without eyesight. Can you imagine if we actually trained for these kind of eventualities rather than just benching the person and hoping shit gets better. Fuck off, D. You know Dehv is right to be pissed off. Qhuinn should have his corner as well as his back.” I sighed and stepped back far enough that I could close my eyes and let the water hammer down over my head. Drowning the two of them out. I sort of felt like the world melted away until I felt a slap his my chest. I jerked and inhaled a mouthful of water. The coughing fit that followed rivaled the echo of that slap in the shower room. “What the fuck?” I managed to rasp out, then I wiped at my eyes and blinked hard with each cough that still worked through me. I could see Davidson was looking half amused, half bored. Nhick looked wide eyed. He’d been the one to hit me. Fucker. I took another few minutes to catch the breath into my lungs without coughing it back out immediately and then I straightened and made them wait another couple of minutes while I knotted a towel around my waist. “You’ve both got a point. But I’m still pissed. I want to help and it’s been weeks. I’m going stir crazy, and something like tonight sounds like it’s not all that unsafe considering we’ve got a full house of trainees and Brotherhood, plus we’re inside. If we’re ever going to have a trial run, tonight sounds like the best time to do it. Qhuinn would know that if he thought it through, or thought about what he’d do if situations were reversed. Tohr thinks they can accommodate this, so why not figure out how to do that before we go in rather than just holding off in the hope I’m benched so I don’t have to be a burden.” I shook my head and walked past my two friends, I could almost feel their looks. Plus the looks of various other Trainees who were listening in to see what was happening. We stayed silent while we dried off and dressed in the smart suits that were laid out. I could almost hear the gears turning though and I held out as long as I could before I glared at the two of them in the mirror while I was sorting my hair. “WHAT?” They both snorted and then leaned in either side of me, “We’ve got your back. If you lose your sight we’ll stuff you in a corner and make sure we cover you if the bullets start flying.” I snorted and threw my arm over their shoulders. We walked out together and made our way towards the transport that was waiting on us. “You’re both idiots.” They laughed and I laughed with them. It was fun to be able to see that even if I was being unreasonable, they’d support me. I knew that both sides had a point, but I wasn’t in a place where I wanted to take the high road. I was pissed off, angry and hurting. While I could laugh with my friends, the minute I saw Qhuinn all that just crashed back in again. The way I’d heard him say I wasn’t ready and him calling me out in front of everyone else when I’d not asked Nhick to do anything. It crawled across my skin like ants were migrating. I had to roll my shoulders just to keep the tension at bay while we all lined up to get on the bus that would take us down town. I assumed the Brotherhood would demat down there, but since the trainees were kept in the dark about where the training centre was, we were driven in and out. Well, unless you had exceptional circumstances. But for tonight, I was a normal trainee. I figured once we were on the bus we’d start getting an update of what to expect. What I didn’t expect was that Jhasper would take the only free seat that wasn’t beside Qhuinn before I could get there. I narrowed my eyes at Davidson who just grinned and shrugged, Nhick winked at me and then they both arched a brow. It was like looking at evil twins. I snorted and shook my head and then dropped my ass into the empty seat. My arms folding over my chest as I settled back to enjoy a silent ride to the venue. ~

Qhuinn: [I tried to focus on the paperwork in front of me and listen to what Tohr was saying but I knew the moment Dehv was getting closer. I hated his anger, hated that I didn’t have a damn chance to explain. He was reading the situation completely wrong. Throwing him in the deep end without any preparation for what to do if shit went wrong was a bullshit call and I told Tohr that. He hadn’t even been training really since the injury and now he’s going head first into something only the top assholes knew about before tonight? I hated being unprepared, hated my mate being unprepared, and sure as fuck didn’t want to send a bunch of hot headed trainees in unprepared, but what the hell did I know. And as there was a rig full of eagle eared trainees, when Dehv took the seat besides me, I couldn’t even take the moment to try to explain. His anger burned through me and between that and all the damn trainees staring at the apparently visible tension between usI didn’t know how long I was going to make it before I snapped. “Qhuinn…Qhuinn, will you look at the damn layout?” I shook my head and snapped from my thoughts as I took the tablet from Tohr to review the layout. The big three, Vishous, Tohr, and Zsadist, were obviously going to be flanking Wrath. Rhage and Phury,  were each taking a wing along with 5 trainees each, thankfully splitting Bernie and Tie up between themselves. I had the rest of the trainees covering the overlap. We were the ones who’d be on the move the whole night. Bernie and Tie weren’t the only ones split up, Nhick, Davidson, and Dehv were also split to different teams and guess which one wasn’t on mine…because of course he wasn’t. I’d definitely not have a damn chance to explain anything now. I leaned closer to door and pointed to the names with a raised brow in question. He shook his head and frowned, “No, it’s not because of earlier, it’s because that’s how its going to be for events like this. Rotation is different and that’s still a go for you two, this is different though. He gets all of your training, your guidance, your attention, share some of that with the others tonight, Qhuinn. Phury will watch over him. Prove you can be unbiased and focused on the team as a whole.” I rolled my eyes, my voice soft] Will I ever be done trying to prove myself, Tohr? How much time do we have once we arrive?

[Tohr thumped a hand on my thigh, “You’re doing good kid, just keep it up. Let Wrath see you in action so to speak. As for time, once we roll up, it’s full steam ahead. It’s supposed to take a few hours so we should get some lulls but we need everyone in position and ready.” I shook my head again] And yet you still don’t think we should have planned better, prepared them. 

[When he shook his head he had a little grin on his face, one that set my teeth on edge, but it was his words that followed that nearly had me throwing my busted fist in his face, “Gotta see how well prepared you are, Qhuinn, and how well you’ve done in your part of training. Give ‘em their roles and lets go we’re nearly there.” I shook with even more anger than I thought possible and took a moment to try to calm my nerves before I turned to the bus of trainees. I explained shit as best as I could, then gave the breakdown of teams and what was happening when we arrived. The trainees looked apprehensive, pissed, and nervous, which didn’t that just bode well for the night ahead.]

Dehv: ~ I did my best not to lean closer to Qhuinn. Not to speak to him. I could tell he was nervous and there was a part of me, a big part, that wanted to reassure him. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but he looked a little sick. Normally I’d have been able to subtly squeeze his thigh or press my shoulder against him to just give him some silent support. And I guessed I kind of was doing that already, since the seats were apparently made for fucking babies. Who designed the bus that would mean two grown ass males would practically overhand the double wide seats. I twisted around to look along the bus and took in that everyone else seemed to fit. Not perfectly, it was tight, but they still fitted fine. I’d always just assumed I was the same size as everyone else. Though it was obvious now, especially looking at Jhasper sitting beside Tohr, that I’d actually bulked up. Maybe it was the Brotherhood blood in my veins from Murhder? Either that or Qhuinn was a hell of a lot broader than I’d ever thought. Which with how well I knew his body, was unlikely. I was about to speak my observations with Qhuinn when he stood and turned to face the bus. I’d missed whatever exchange was happening between him and Tohr, and the bus had left the compound a few minutes ago. I wasn’t sure how long we’d be on the road, but it would seem Qhuinn wanted us to have some idea of what was going on. I exhaled hard and tipped my chin up to focus on Qhuinn’s face. He was good at speaking with us all, managing to bounce his eyes around everyone in the room to ensure they knew that he was including them. I was pissed, but I wasn’t a dick. I would listen because it was important. Though I shouldn’t have worried about all the nicey stuff. Because I could feel something in my gut start to twist. They’re split up anyone who seemed to be a group. Me and Davidson and Nhick were split. Tie and Bernie were apart too. Even Jhasper had been moved into his own group away from Ray. I felt two hands hit my shoulders, and I patted both to let my friends know I was aware that we were going to kick ass, even if we weren’t in the same group. I hoped we could pull it off. Because while we’d all managed to train our asses off, this was one of the first times we’d been thrown in without warning. We’d done the odd rotation out on patrol. This felt different. It was to protect our King while also showing the Glymera exactly what we did in the training programme. These were the males and females who were going to send their kids to the programme in future. When we all graduated there would be more moving through. We’d get to train them or pass on the wisdom that we’d learned over the years. It was exciting. While also being nerve wracking. I listened while we were given the run down. Turn up, break into groups. Which groups would be stationed in what parts. How the night would run. We’d have to ensure we checked everyone coming through the doors to ensure they were who they said they were and they had shown their invitations to those who asked. That we were invisible while still browsing through the crowd to ensure we could see anything before it happened and alert others. It all sounded fun, and explained the suits rather than the normal leathers. I was assuming the Brothers were in their normal outfits though, since none of them gave a shit about fitting in. And Tohr still sat beside us in his normal patrolling outfit. 

When the bus pulled into the carpark for the event I made to stand when Tohr shook his head and gestured for me to stay sitting. I frowned, but did as I was told. I didn’t get a chance to ask Qhuinn if he knew what was happening before he was pulled away by the crowd of trainees who were trying to get off the bus. Breaking into their three groups naturally while filing into the building. When it was just me and Tohr I turned to him and licked at my lips nervously. He laughed and shook his head. ‘No need to be worried, Dehv. You’re still in your group with Phury, but I agree with Qhuinn about ensuring you’re safe. I know you heard us arguing, and while I agree that you need to be given special compensation right now, I disagree that in order to do that we have to stop you from coming with us tonight. You are to stick on the door with the civilians. Ensure that you’re first point of contact for security when they are coming into the event. If you feel like your sight is going, you find somewhere to sit and we’ll ensure there’s eyes on you at all times.’ I opened my mouth to speak. To argue. But Tohr just stood and shook his head. ‘This is happening. It’s this way or no way.’ I watched as he walked away and I growled. The anger rushing through me only mingled with the stuff that was already there. By the time I walked through the doors into the venue I was practically vibrating with it. I understood that they had to keep me and everyone else safe. But warning apparently didn’t exist, and there was very little that would upend me more than being out of control. ~

Qhuinn: [As if the night couldn’t get any worse, I swore I didn’t have a friendly face among my little band of miscreants. Nhick who was pissed at me on Dehv’s behalf, Bernie who was still pissed I held power over his ass, Jhasper who thought I showed favoritism to Dehv and put him on his ass on numerous occasions, and Pritch who just had his ass reamed for fucking off too much. Trouble was he knew the shit and had the brawn to go with, fucker was just lazy. Once he was in the field, he’d be a force to be reckoned with, if he made it that far. I was so fucking tired of these little tests by the Brotherhood. I wasn’t sure if they were designed to see if I was sticking around this time or if they were trying to scare me off. 

I let out a sigh, then led the group into the overly formal building. As we walked through, I pointed out the various places that I felt should have extra eyes, then once we made it to a quiet space, I turned to face the four males. They were looking cocky and yet insecure which was a fantastic combination. I was about to open my mouth to speak when someone beat me to it, “Why are we stuck with you instead of a real Brother?” My gaze snapped to Bernie, then to the other three. I could see the same question on each of their faces. Nhick nodded and huffed out his own thoughts, “Not like you believe in any of us anyway, not if you can’t believe in..” I let out a low growl] You can just shut the fuck up with that. You don’t know the first thing about what went on in that room. Or my thoughts on any of it other than what was overheard. As for me not being a real brother, well tough fucking shit there. None of you will be if you manage to graduate the program either so unless you want to be looked at like you’re dog shit, I suggest you get over it. I believe in each of you, if you manage to keep your shit together. I think every damn one of you trainees, those here and those with the other groups, know your shit. However, there are things I don’t agree with but that’s neither here nor there. Right now, your job is to prove you fucking belong. That you deserve to be in the program, to graduate, and to become an asset capable of protecting your race, your brothers in arms and your fucking king. If you can’t handle it, walk out the door right now because I’m tired of the shit. 

[I waited a beat and watched their faces. I don’t think they were expecting me to just lay it on the line for them like I did. Honestly had they walked out I would have handled it because I was tired of defending myself to everyone. The four began to slowly nod, offering up half hearted and muttered out apologies.] Glad we could work that out. Now, I want you all to be on your best damn behavior because these idiots have already tried to dismantle the program before. Wrath will be watching, even if he can’t see, that bastard knows ever….

[All four stiffened up and I groaned as I spun on my heels]  Good evening, My Lord. Pleasure to see you as always, you’re just looking marvelous tonight…

[He snorted and then cupped the back of me head before he led me to an alcove, leaving the trainees with Z. When we were alone, “I’m a bastard, hmm?” He chuckled quietly and then he dropped his voice low so no one would overhear, “You know we trust you, right Qhuinn. This isn’t some test or some bullshit assignment. Different circumstances you’d have had more time.” I gave a stiff nod, I hated when he did that shit] Yeah, I get it. Are you sure this is safe, Wrath? There are too many variables, I don’t…

[He clapped my shoulder, “I think we’ll be okay, Qhuinn. Keep everyone in line and we’l be out of here before you know it. You got about ten minutes left to get everyone situated.”  He walked out, leaving me to follow back to the group. He picked up with the Brothers and I grabbed the trainees to get into position. My mind drifting towards Dehv and hoping like hell they were keeping an eye on him] #BacktoReality

[half1house]

Dear British friends,... (a rant from the continent)

This is an overly long opinion piece and a kinda vicious rant. But I have to get this off my chest because at this point in time I am lost for words to describe the incredible thing that is Brexit, therefore I'm interested in the opinion of British and other non-British people. For a couple of months now I've been watching in awe several times a month how the House of Commons, your parliament, the elected representatives of the British people, have taken up the shovel and started digging. It is a strange and surreal experience, like standing next to burning orphanage: It is horrible but I can't stop watching. Mere days ago HoC voted down every single proposal to at least mitigate some of the damage and there has not been any outburst of common sense, a thing the British always were famous for, since. To be blunt, for me it was the straw that broke the camels back.

I am a German and I don't know whether my views reflect a majority or minority. I'm an engineer in the chemical industry and I have travelled to Britain often during the last 15 years. I strolled trough the countryside, I visited the big cities, I have been surprised about the excellent restaurants even in places I'd never have expected (namely the "Old School Restaurant" on the Isle of Skye. If you are there, have yourself a treat and pay it a visit!). I have met a lot of wonderful people during my visits to Britain, both on holiday and on business travels. I like Britain. A lot.

And therefore it is hard to see her leave EU. To me Brexit came not so much as a shock but as a situation forcing a decision on my part too. It is sad to be left by and have to abandon you as an EU member, but it won't break my heart and in their current state neither the government nor parliament, nor the people of the UK look as if they could contribute to the EU in any meaningful way.

Every single person I know thinks and most newspapers state about the offical stance of your government that it relfects a situation in which both the people as a whole and the government of the UK either don't know what can realistically be achieved or don't know what they really want at all. All polls show significant support for either side with still only relatively narrow majorities. HoC sessions during the last weeks embody this problem. It is the most undesireable state of affairs in the current situation. Regardless of your future relationship with the EU, roughly half your population will be deeply unhappy. There is no unequivocal Will Of The People.

The blame game has already begun and since a huge part of your population has been swallowing untrue or at least grossly exaggerated anti-EU-crap for decades I have no hope that a significant portion of those will see through the lies. I fully expect roughly half the British to blame EU for the shitshow Brexit their government put together. If fully expect HoC to reflect that blame. And therefore in my opinion in the long run it is best for EU if UK is out as quickly as possible (but prefarble when EU is ready and europhile British have set their plans for movement to EU in motion).

After the first vote in the House of Commons I watched it became clear to me that the majority of MP's don't give two single fucks about a workable solution. I don't know whether it is mostly party politics, personal animosities, cognitive dissonance, sheer incompetence or a mélange of everything. At this point in time UK is not governed well and her people are not represented by men and women capable of managing a task like withdrawing from EU. I feel sad but finally a thought that has lurked around somewhere in the background all the time has now come to the forefront: I don't want a second referndum. I don't want UK revoking A50 at the eleventh hour.

I don't want UK inside EU. I want her out. I want her out for good.

This is neither funny nor amusing. It will affect me negatively personally because I like travelling to Britain and therefore I've given it a lot of thought. It's a hard decission. It comes with a lot of problems for everyone involved. It will make us all poorer, it will make UK prone to falling prey to American and Chinese interests. It will weaken EU politically. But still I want UK out of EU. This situation is forcing a decission as binary as the initial referendum was: In or Out. As we say in Germany: Halbschwanger gibt's nicht (you can't be half-pregnant).

Two years ago I would have been happy had HMG decided that it were in their best interest to abandon the exit and HoC had supported that decision. But two years ago the world was vastly different. Only few companies had set their plans for relocation out of UK in motion, the war rethoric wasn't as widespread and a working cross-party solution seemed at least not impossible.

In my view the most crucial mistake your government made was thinking of the negotiation as a game of poker or a haggle at the bazar. I would call that the layman's approach to negotiation because I often meet it. Laymen tend to think negatiation means being secretive, playing tough and who blinks first loses - but that is not how it's done in the real world. In the real world negotiators are well prepared with data and know the strengths and weaknesses of their counterparts and their own. They use their leverage to assert compromise, not dominance. Instead of consulting actual business negotiators or senior civil servants HMG and many influential people like the ERG thought playing tough and not blinking first were viable strategies. They never really tried to assess what possibillities were on the table and what could realistically be achieved. That's why to this day, not two weaks away from the cliff-edge, no open debate about what kind of Brexit HMG should persue was held in Britain. And that's why they so fundamentally misunderstood how the EU operates and do so to this very day.

They have failed to grasp that EU is first and formost an entity driven by procedure. This is a neccessity to ensure that two dozon chicks waddle at least roughly in the same direction. Therefore EUs insistance on a clear structuring of the leave process. Even in 2019 HMG have tried to negotiate with individual countries or shift the goal posts and even today they are still baffled that this approach didn't turn out well.

This goes much deeper than just the Brexit negotiatons: One of the frequent criticisms of EU is that the members could never agree on anything or constantly veto each other for parochial reasons. But in practice they do agree and don't veto each other most of the time and a lot of things get done. The stance of EU during the entire Brexit process has been consistent, clear and unanimous. EU won't blink. EU will do what her representatives say. EU has one of the most efficient bureaucracies in the world - 60.000 civil servants in Brussels and Strassbourg may be a lot of people in absolute terms but the city of München alone has roughly 40.000 civil servants and the city of Hamburg has 100.000 so in relative terms it is not even that large.

They have failed to realise that on a world scale the EU practically is Europe. Even without UK she contains about 60 % of the citizens, 80 % of GDP and practically all the political weight on the continent. Every single country not being a member is extremely closely aligned. Norway and Switzerland for that matter are all but members without voting rights. Even Belarus and Russia have lots of treaties and despite all the sabre rattling of the past two decades get along with each other pretty well in the long run. Unless Britain can be towed across the atlantic to the Americas there is no way in the world that the continent will not be her most important political and economic partner. Sheer geographic proximity is still and for the foreseable future will probably continue to be the most important factor when it comes to trade and alliences.

They have failed to realise that Devide And Conquer won't work. It should have been clear at the very beginning of negotiations when PM May travelled to half a dozen EU countries she hoped to negotiate with sperately only to be told that the negotiations had to be conducted with the EU, not Austria, France, Germany, etc. Many people say that this was going to show first and foremost, that the British government after 40 years of membership still have no clue about the meaning and the inner workings of the EU despite being a highly influential member. I have heard people opine that at some point in time HMG started to believe their own spin about EU being hopelessly devided all the time. Sadly I too think this assessment is acurate.

They have failed to realise that the four freedoms are the single market and for nearly all practical purposes the single market is the EU. They are are not negotiable because abandoning one of them would be the end of the single market and consequently the EU. And regardless to your opinion on whether the EU is overall positive or negative, no one in their right mind can realistically expect the EU to tear up herself.

They have grossly overestimated their importance for the continental industry. I'm an engineer in the chemical industry and our approach to brexit can be summed up like this: It's a shame but if you must, please leave in an orderly fashion. You will be missed but ultimately the EU is of more importance to us because it's the bigger market to sell to and buy from, the bigger economic area and the vastly more powerful political entity. If you leave in an orderly fashion there will be some disturbances but ultimately your industry will still be valuable. If you crash out there will be a period of trouble and disorder after which a lot of business will be gone. So please avoid that on all cost. Again keep in mind: Losing you will be expensive but losing the EU will be desastrous. So be in no doubt as to the seriousness of your position.

They have failed to understand continental and particularly French and German foreign policy after world war II. By far the most important topic for our foreign policy is keeping peace with our neighbours and deepen our economic and cultural interactions in order to cement this peace. This is in fact where the whole project of a united Europe started from in the early 1950's, when French foreign minister Schuman and German chancellor Adenauer signed a treaty about Franco-German coal and steel production that quickly morphed into the ECSC, than the EEC and ultimately the EU. With the very first paragraph of the Treaty of Rome stating exactly that. A lot of British people still think EU started as a pure trade community but that is wrong. As early as 1951 the ECSC contained the seeds of all the departments, bodies and organs of todays EU.

They have failed to grasp that while we don't want you to leave we won't fight to keep you in. We have no obligation to help you beyond what is in our best interest. We don't want to punish you but we won't let you keep your benefits when leaving. The responsibility of the EU is first and foremost to the members of the EU - which you aren't going to be anymore soon. We will do our best to make the EU a success - it is your own responsibility to make Britain a success. We will do everything we can to ensure that EU comes out of this mess in the best possible way. If along that way Uk also comes out in the best possible way, we will all be pleased. If UK sinks into chaos we won't be pleased at all but again: Being successful out of EU is UK's responsibility. Please keep that in mind: We are not against you. We are for us.

They don't understand why the members of the EU stand firm in the current situation. There's an expression so German there isn't a proper english idiom: "Pack schlägt sich, Pack verträgt sich" which means that, whereas members of a group are prone to fight with each other, they are equally prone to make peace again quickly, especially when confronted with a sitatuation concerning the group as a whole. A situation, for instance, like Brexit. Many people in Brtain grossly overestimate the problems of member states, particularly their problems with the EU.

They have overestimated the anti-EU sentiment on the continent. While it is true that a lot of people are openly critical or even against EU there is no mainstream party openly campaigning for their country to leave anymore. Even in France, Germany and Italy the tone of that parties has considerably mellowed. In Britain anti-EU fringe is mainstream politics and has been for as long as I can remember. Goverments of France, Germany, etc. are dealing with their political extremists but in blaming the EU for every decission of British politics (No ID cards, low taxes, low regulation, lack of industrial policy, privatising vital assets, crushing workers rights, etc.) successive British governments have actively persued anti-EU populsim and in effect executed anti-EU agendas by chosing to leave the EU. You don't have to be affraid of a rise of a new fringe party or a rebirth of UKIP, because you have the Conservative Party and the anti-EU wing of Labour. Even without UKIP and the like anit-EU sentiment is a strong force in your political environment.

Successive British governments have loudly blamed the EU for politics completely within their realm of responsibility. Even further: They have loudly embraced the anti-immigrant and anti-EU crowd while at the same time doing exactly the opposite: You are governed by the same PM who sent Vans saying "Go Home!" through high-immigration boroughs and oversaw the windrush scandal while doing bugger all to excersise any meaningful form of control over immigration (COMPLETE for non-EU- and VAST for EU-immigration). You are governed by the very party that kept blaming the EU for any interior British problems despite the fact that they were home grown. Examples: EU regulation on immigration has been written largly by British lawmakers in the 1990. Immigration doesn't need to be unrestricted under EU regulation. It is your government that chose for 25 years not to excersise their options. The large disparity in income has nothing to do with EU regulation - in fact Britain always has been a pain in the ass when it comes to further regulation and strengthening workers rights (Remember how Thatcher crushed the Unions?).

Going full turbo-capitalism and trying to pull off a Singapore most likely is also no realistic option because an area state like UK is significantly different to a city state. Dropping all tariffs would probably either destroy the remaining manufacturing or forcing much harsher conditions on British workers. In addition the national distribution of wealth would be even more shifted towards the large cities, because the one top-tier world class industry UK has is financial services which are overwhelmingly provided by firms in those large cities.

Your government tried to negotiate with individual EU countries dozens of times during the last 2,5 years and was denied every single time. Of course politicians clad the message in fine talking along the lines of "Of course we are looking forward to mutally attractive trade aggreements after Britain leaves the EU" or "We are prepared to basically copy the agreements that be" but I am quite certain that the very moment after Britains departure has been in force, she will be swarmed by cohorts of negotiators from basically every conutry in the world saying things along the lines of "Of course we would like to have the basically same deal. Juuuuuust some minor adjustments here and there and here too and, oh, also over there. And that point we surely can drop at all but this one we'd like to discuss a little further...".

Please keep in mind that for close to three years now UK has been loudly announcing to the world that after four decades of discussion she was unable to agree on a clear idea of what her position in the world should look like after Brexit. The referendum was almost three years ago. And still the question has not been answered by UK. Surely many individual opinions float around but HMG haven't managed to form a coherent strategy by taking them into due account. Instead you got soundbites like "Brexit Means Brexit" and "Will Of The People" and "We voted to leave" without defining what options to persue. The rest of the world know this. They can see it with their very eyes and hear it with their very ears. They've been watching! They've been taking notes! I am absolutely certain that whole branches of the civil services of all the major and emerging nations are working overtime to review all the treaties they now have with EU in order to find items they could renegotiate to their advantage with UK. For the last three years private and public executives have taken notice of the negotiation process and how UK conducted herself in contrast to EU. Be in no doubt which entity is regarded as the more professional, better prepared, reasonable, stable and united one. Especially after the latest parliamentary sessions.

In my opinion Britain at this point in time has a MASSIVE problem with herself, exemplified through the division amongst MP of either party, parliament as a whole, subgroups in HMG and a public that is roughly split in half over the question of Brexit. In my humble opinion the damage UK in her current state could inflict on EU as a whole in the immediate future is far greater than she could as a third country, even after a hard Brexit. Surely, A50 could be revoked tomorrow but there is no way in the world to undo the effects of Brexit. In her current state Britain as an EU member would likely sent outright EU enemies to the European Parliament. She would be a pain int the ass in any future decission and discussion - even if HMG would want to stay in EU in the goodest of faiths the rift running through the public and the HoC would still be there and continue to be a ball and chain to anything the EU27 would want to get done. Im totally absolutely positively certain that not five years after a possible revokation of A50 the PM would arrive in Brussels for renegotiation of UKs terms of membership. I am equally certain British politicians of either party would continue to shift the blame for their unpopular decissions on EU (that British press will do so is a given regardless of the outcome of Brexit). There is deep disparity between the city and the countryside, the poor people and the rich, the well educated and the not well educated. As far as I can see far deeper than for instance in France, Germany or Italy. If UK government won't be able to fix this they (I'm pretty sure they won't) will look for a scapegoat and this will most likely be EU. Therefore I don't want British MEP. I don't want people of a country leaving EU in the near future to have seats and influence or even sabotage decisions in the European Parliament. I particularly don't want the likes of Farage there. I don't want EU hampared by pointless obstruction of MEP who won't have to live with the consequences.

It is, in my humble opinion, positively bat-shit crazy to consider the party that is now in government, the party that went full steam austerity, the party that is home to the most vicious desaster capitalists currently influencing British politics, the party that it is even deeper rooted by private networks than my garden is by the blackberry on the adjacent meadow, the very party that has achieved next to nothing in almost three years time will champion a new soically sound domestic policy improving the lives of the poor and precarious after having left EU.

It is, again in my humble opinion, at least very naive to assume that the current opposition, lead by a life-long anti-EU campaigner and with a strong anti-EU wing of her own, having not taken a clear stance on whether to be in favour or against Brexit, under the constraints the loss of all those international treaties will pose, can implement even a small portion of their proposed legislation with success.

And thusly, as a German and EU citizen who wants as little fallout from your internal problems as possible to go down over the rest of Europe, I want you out of EU. Obviously neither HMG nor HoC nor a sizable part of the public can be trusted to rely on EU for anything but her being a whipping girl for her internal struggles and unpopular decissions. I don't suspect this to stop, change or even gain significant backlash in the next years.

This is not only recognized by little old me, but certainly by decission makers all around the globe. UK, once upon a time the mightiest and most adored nation in the world, home to the finest scientists, industries and ruler over a quarter of the earths surface not hundred years ago, will soon have cut herself off one of the biggest, richest and most powerful blocs in the world. UK will than govern roughly 1/100 of world population, less than 1/100 of military personnel, 2 % of wealth without any meaningful treaty, besides her NATO membership, to anyone anymore. She will be on her own. A ship on the high seas with a crew that can't even set a course after years of discussion. Please keep in mind that on the world scale UK, when anything besides financial services is considered, is a high-wage-low-productivity country. Practically all your industries are heavily dependend on, and heavily aligned to frictionless trade. Domestic farming for instance provides UK people with locally produced food (People everywhere love to eat "homegrown"), manufacturing often provides well paid work outside the big cities and in rural areas. Without the political power of EU and the hundreds of treaties with other countries she provides, UK is sigificantly weakening the prospects of her remaining industries.

This is not news. A lot of people in UK know this. A lot of people all around the globe know this. I still hope that there can be an agreement found in the next week, but with each day going by it looks less likely to me. Still a lot of people can't imagine what sort fo havoc a No-Deal Brexit is bound to wreak but I fear they are going to be in for a serious reality check very soon. It is a cold world after all.

Take care.

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