#the ensemble cast feeling that second-hand embarassment was A Lot for them

[tsuki-sennin]

Two years have past since the end of the war with the Bugnarok Empire. Under the guidance of its new King, Jeremy Brasieri, the Bugnarok are now recognied by the other five kings as their own sovereign nation. However... centuries of pain cannot be undone so soon. Not when the world faces ever greater peril.

And... after that... Freaky Friday x 3.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Oh.

-He dead.

-Kamejim's an alien, huh?

-Ohhhhhhhh, that's a lot of bugs.

-Well, his majesty King Gira certainly looks older.

-Everybody seems to be resting on their laurels.

-Rita would be ashamed.

-"Oh... I see... Well, that's not the least bit surprising."

-What the hell happened to our worldwide government?

-"Please stop crying, it's not your fault! D:"

-The aliens are coming! We've been compromised!

-"I do, yeah!"

-Dugden Dujardin...

-"Right, here's the deal. You're all gonna hand your planet over to me.

-THEY THREW THEM IN JAIL?

-WHY THO

-RITA YOU RUN THE JAILS HOW-

-"Hey buddy, you lied to me, y'know?"

-Ohhhhhhhhh

-Holy shit

-This guy is just Bug-type Evolt.

-Oh my God.

-Y'know, I can't say I expected intergalactic genocide from this show.

-"Wow, you're right! I am mocking you."

-I have to say, the green screen halos add a lot to how surreal and terrifying he is.

-Hey, wait a fucking second, that's America on that earth model!

-All that with a flick.

-He nearly destroyed all of America.

-Racules you motherfucker

-Gira says "Up yours, Dugdump."

-Whoaaaaaaaa, who is that?

-J

-Jesters.

-Gorma...

-Man's got his own roster.

-Jimmy, of course, was here the whole time.

-I suppose God's sitting this one out.

-The Tyrant King returns.

-Ohsama Sentai! King-Ohger!

-Lovin' the new hair, Yanma.

-Kaguragi seems just about the same as he always is.

-Ran, on the other hand... Absolutely serving.

-Oh, short hair Rita. Love it.

-Rita's one gray eye...

-We are so back. ...even though really it hasn't been that long.

-"Freeze, stinkbug."

-Oh great, Jimmy slipped away.

-Oh

-Oh my god.

-What kind of fucking PC needs global power siphoning?

-HIMENO CAUSED A WILD FIRE

-KAGURAGI CREATED A FARM TANK

-RITA WOULDN'T FUCKING TAKE A VACATION

-Yes, kings are back, I saw last episode.

-Intergalactic clown bugs.

-We traded Dezzy for this jhkhkl

-Gorma's already come up with a perfect scheme~!

-Kaguragi's a flasher I see.

-Oh wait, no Himeno???

-Goddamn, Kaguragi's living it up.

-Yanma, you're in the middle of a tundra, why the hell did you take Rita's shoes off?

-There is literally no episode premise better for an ensemble cast like this than a Freaky Friday plot.

-Ohhhhh, I noticed that Rita covered Yanma's eye. It must be blind.

-The actors are absolutely nailing each other's mannerisms, holy crap.

-I'm glad Kaguragi and Jeremy are enjoying themselves :)

-Himeno's still absolutely serving in Kaguragi's body.

-"Yanma... please... hurry up, I need it."

-"Dude, c'mon, you're already making yourself home in my body, at least-"

-"GIVE!"

-My current theory as to why Rita covers their mouth so much is because they have an oral stim they view as particularly embarassing. I imagine it must've hurt a lot when Gira laughed so hard.

-It is so weird hearing Rita's voice speaking so casually.

-Apparently Ran's not built enough for Kaguragi's liking.

-"Oh, trust me, Mantis Lady! You gotta knead your dough and feel the burn to make a nice, extra crispy bread."

-Gorma Jumpscare.

-Gorma Rosalia...

-Ninpo! Body Swap Art!

-"Beat me, and you'll be heading right home."

-Ohgai Busou!

-Oh, right, just because the minds switch around doesn't mean the authorization does.

-Nin!

-Oh, Rita smiled, that's nice :)

-"Jeremy, you're thinking a little too generously..."

-And this is Gira saying this, so you know this is gonna be a geopolitical nightmare.

-Jesus Christ Himeno jkjhjkmnhl

-Well at least Kaguragi's employing a bit of aid.

-SEBAS WHAT

-"No fighting."

-C

-Cross-brained fox.

-"I'm arresting each and every last one of you bastards!"

-Yanma, Yanma, Yanma, Yanma!

-Aw, Jeremy :)

-Not the least bit surprising that Gira and Jeremy are taking this the best.

-"Whaaaaaaaat? Nooooo, nooooooo, I don't think the Bugnarok are responsible for this, nooooooo!"

-Huh

-I have to disagree Jeremy, that was insanely quick, considering.

-Heat stroked out.

-Having a bit of a wild day.

-"Suppose we've spent a bit too much money on healthcare..."

-There's a certain elegance in Kaguragi's interpretation of Kamakiri Ohger.

-That's a really cool way of tying the body swaps into the fight scene though, I won't lie.

-They mad.

-Bang!

-That's our Jeremy.

-We won! Technically!

-Now to remove the Ninja

-OH FUCK

-Ohhhhhhh, you're one tricky son of a bitch, aren't you Gorma?

-Oh man, shit's getting real now.

[plumoh]

[FE3H] This Isn’t An Embarrassment Competition, Guys

Rating: G

Word count: 2520

Summary: They bet on the number of times Felix and Sylvain are being affectionate in public; Annette is certain she won't lose. / post-AM route

Note: AO3 link. Humour, PDA, a compilation of Sylvix being embarrassing. Originally written for Sylvix week 2020!

“500 gold.”

“800 gold.”

“You are all cowards. 1500 gold!”

“You’re awfully confident, Annette…”

“I’ve seen them! I see them too often!”

Annette resists the urge to smile like she’s possessed as Felix joins them at the breakfast table, alone. He raises an eyebrow when all heads swivel to stare at him.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Annette exclaims, waving her hands frantically. “It’s a fine morning, isn’t it?”

“It’s literally freezing outside.”

“I mean, it’s a good day in Faerghan standards!”

Ashe, sitting across her, is visibly wincing and probably trying to become one with his chair. Annette bites the inside of her cheek and forces herself to stop talking as even Mercedes’s quiet amusement starts making her embarrassed. Oh well, they can thank her later for diverting Felix’s attention from their conversation!

Felix deems her reaction not worth another question and digs into his food. A mere minute later Sylvain strolls into the mess hall, grabs a plate of food at random, and heads towards their table, like a moth attracted to light. Annette clasps a hand over her mouth to hide her smile, and she knows they’re all holding their breath. The grin on Sylvain’s face is a dead giveaway.

“Hey guys, good morning!” he greets cheerfully.

He puts the plate on the table, next to Felix’s, and casually bends down to kiss Felix’s cheek not once, not twice, but three times, unashamed and practically glowing with joy.

“And good morning to you, sweetheart.”

“I told you to stop calling me that,” Felix mutters, but there is the smallest hint of satisfaction on his face.

Annette is now biting her lower lip, trying really hard not to laugh. They’re cute, but also disgustingly so. She actually doesn’t know if she hates them for that or not.

She glances briefly at Ashe, then Mercedes, and holds up a finger.

First act of public display of affection of the day. She bet on eight. She’s going to win so easily.

***

She knew that Sylvain would be the kind of person to show off his partner and to kiss them right in front of other people, but she didn’t account for Felix to also be embarrassing in public. Annette is a bigger romantic than they are, but she isn’t going to enjoy kissing her significant other or holding hands with them when so many pairs of eyes are going to judge! She doesn’t have a death wish!

Felix is someone who likes keeping his privacy, but apparently the concept completely flew out of the window once he’s officially declared he was courting Sylvain. At first it was nothing exceptional, just some hand touches during meetings, Sylvain’s arm around Felix’s shoulders as usual, or lingering stares that made the temperature of the room go up at least five degrees. No, it was after their marriage that it started getting out of hand. Something about the bliss of being newly wed, the excitement of beginning a new life, and other reasons that Annette doesn’t quite believe apply to these particular idiots. Ingrid agrees with her; being embarrassing is in their nature.

Annette is visiting the castle for the day and attending meetings about education, and how they can improve the students’ learning experience. She probably won’t be stuck to Felix or Sylvain, but she is certain she will see enough of them to win the bet. And a lot of gold.

She walks towards the meeting room, her steps light. She knows that some nobles are thinking that nobody should appear so eager and happy early in the morning, as if it’s a rule established by the king himself—well, sucks to be them, Annette loves mornings, and this one is going to be wonderful.

Luck is smiling down on her; at the end of the corridor, she can see Felix’s blue coat and Sylvain’s fiery hair. They’re whispering to each other, not urgently, which can only mean they’re telling each other goodbyes for the day. Or the morning. Most likely the morning, because the chances of them not meeting for lunch are slimmer than Felix skipping a training session. Annette is squinting at their figures, then rolls her eyes when she makes out the shape of their hands linked together.

Sweet words and hand holding in the middle of a corridor? That definitely counts as PDA.

***

Meetings are still incredibly boring, even after a few years of attending them regularly. Annette likes contributing to the educational system, but most of the time they don’t make much progress after discussing for one hour or two, which frustrates her a lot. This deserves a cookie break.

On her way to the gardens, she bumps into Ingrid, who is doing her usual rounds in the castle grounds—even during peacetime, she doesn’t take her duties lightly.

“Hi Ingrid!” Annette greets her. “Have you heard of our new bet?”

“Hello, Annette.” Ingrid smiles. “Yes, Mercedes told me she expects the two idiots to be gross in public six times today.”

“Ashe said it would be four times because they calmed down, but I think he’s just being nice. It’s not even lunchtime yet and I already caught them twice!”

Ingrid shakes her head and sighs. Annette wonders what it must feel like to hear about your childhood friends getting into trouble every day, and being unable to do anything to change that. Well, during their academy days, Annette also had her fair share of Sylvain-incidents to take care of, but it’s probably not comparable of years of antics. Ingrid loves them still, which means that this has become a natural task in her routine? Annette still feels kind of bad for her.

“Felix and Sylvain were headed to see His Majesty earlier, before I left for my rounds. Some nobles were asking for an audience, so Sylvain took the opportunity to introduce himself as Felix’s husband who, and I quote, ‘is like the best part of myself, precious and dangerous, and I love him with my entire being’.”

Annette bursts out laughing. “Ugh, Sylvain is such a sap! The count goes up to three! And I thought they weren’t stuck together today?”

“They are not, and that’s exactly why this is ridiculous.”

Maybe they know about the bet and they’re doing it on purpose.Lunchtime rolls around and they all gather in the mess hall once again. Annette sees Ashe already sitting with Felix and Sylvain, the three of them deep in conversation about horses, Sylvain talking with his hands like he always does while Ashe jabs his finger at him.

“Stop talking and eat, we don’t have all day,” Felix says.

Annette sits next to Ashe just as Felix scoops up some vegetables and a piece of meat with his fork, and directly deposits the content into Sylvain’s mouth, who readily accepts the offering with a smile. They’re making eyes at each other. That never happened before; Annette is speechless. Ashe stops talking mid-sentence.

“Wow, aren’t we bothering them, Ashe?”Annette asks lowly, glancing his way.

“Uh.”

Felix rolls his eyes. “What are you gawking at? Mind your own business.”

This is the fourth occurrence. Annette knew she was going to get richer by the end of the day, but she didn’t think it would be that predictable. Don’t they feel embarrassed? Don’t they think it’s awkward to spread their love like that, unbridled and free for everyone to see? Annette would be mortified if it were her. Who does that, in goddamn Faerghus?

Ashe coughs and attempts resuming the conversation from earlier (fast horses or something), but he’s struggling getting the words out because Felix keeps feeding Sylvain. Sylvain has hands! He can eat by himself! Annette is going to scream.

“W-What are you supposed to do this afternoon?” she cuts in, clutching her utensils a bit too firmly.

“Oh, I just have to see some guys for a problem about food supply chain,” Sylvain answers with a shrug. “Nothing exciting.”

“You could come with me to watch the new recruits after that,” Ashe suggests.

Sylvain makes a face. “Are you asking me to train?”

“A bit of training wouldn’t hurt you.” Felix snorts. “I have to accompany Dimitri in his duties today, and I’m going now.”

Felix rises from his chair, and before he can walk away, Sylvain takes his wrist and tugs him down for a kiss on the mouth. It’s the kind of kiss that doesn’t last long, but it’s not a simple brush of lips either, it’s the kind involving sucking and licking. They’re enjoying it too much.

“See you later,” Sylvain says, grinning.

“Yeah, don’t slack off,” Felix says.

Ashe leans towards her, and whispers harshly, “This counts double, right?”

“Of course it counts double,” Annette replies on the same tone. “That makes currently five for me. You lost.”

Ashe sighs. “Well, I had too much faith in them.”

***

Actually, since Felix is with Dimitri all afternoon, he shouldn’t be able to meet up with Sylvain, right? There is no reason for them to cross paths, and even if they did, doing something inappropriate in the presence of the king and other dignitaries would be highly frowned upon, right?

“That has never stopped them before,” Dedue says calmly, almost like he’s accepted his fate.

The greenhouse is quiet, as they water plants and cut some leaves for a tea blend.

“It was funny at first, but now it’s downright disconcerting!” Annette whines.

“You don’t spend much time at the castle, but I do assure you that these public displays of affection have almost become an attraction to many people here.”

“You’re joking.”

The corner of Dedue’s mouth twitches upwards. “I am not. Consider yourself lucky to be away from this nonsense, Annette.”

Still, Dedue sounds entertained. He doesn’t partake in their silly games or bets, but he’s always there to witness the results of the events, collecting evidence of their general stupidity and bad decisions—like that one time they all tried to make a very drunk Dimitri dance and sing, which ended in too many broken expensive furniture, even for the royal treasury; Felix was not amused.

“I believe that they are trying to see how far they can keep this up before someone starts berating them for their behaviors,” Dedue muses.

“That wouldn’t surprise me,” Annette mutters. “Ingrid warned them multiple times, but they don’t listen.”

“They don’t listen to anyone, not even to His Majesty.”

Suddenly, it occurs to Annette that Dimitri has probably seen way more than they all did, and he must be suffering greatly.

***

The sixth time Annette sees them spilling their love all over the place can’t really be considered a show of PDA, but if she caught them in the act, then anybody could. The sun is nearly setting and Dimitri, with his close advisors, are taking a walk in the gardens, greeting the last visiting nobles who couldn’t get a glimpse of him all day. Felix flanks his right while Dedue stands on his left, and Sylvain has magically materialized to trail behind them, all smiles and charm.

Sylvain is saying something to Felix, but Felix shakes his head, like he’s refusing a request or expressing how doubtful he is of whatever he heard. Sylvain laughs, then takes Felix’s hand to kiss it like he’s still courting him, and this time it makes Felix blush at the ears. Something so innocent, which can even be considered relatively common to greet another noble, is igniting such a warm reaction in him. It was a quick gesture but Annette saw it! Even if Dimitri is in the vicinity exuding his kingly aura, drawing attention to him, that doesn’t mean his advisors are invisible!

So yes, PDA!

***

They’re having dinner with Dimitri in his quarters, all eight of them (the Professor is sadly held back by their duties as Archbishop). The room they are in isn’t fitted to accommodate so many dinner guests, but with some arrangement and goodwill they can all sit perfectly around a table.

Felix is sitting on Sylvain’s lap.

“How are you going to eat like that?” Ingrid groans.

“Don’t worry, we always make things work.” Sylvain winks.

“You two look like you are having fun,” Mercedes comments with a smile.

“I’m not,” Ashe mumbles.

“It’s not unpleasant,” Felix says, unhelpful.

Annette glances at Dimitri, who is softly laughing at their antics. Dedue discreetly sighs but he doesn’t seem totally opposed to this...seating predicament, so he’s letting it slide. Unless he’s giving Annette an opportunity to win the bet, which would be extremely generous of him. That’s indeed the seventh occurrence, and it’s now a matter of time before Annette gets her sweet 3000 gold.

They eat, talk and reminisce all evening. Spending time together with no worries, no duties to think about, never fails to bring a smile on everyone’s faces. Annette likes these evenings where they’re not their titles, especially when Dimitri lets himself enjoy a moment of respite, free of the crown he’s wearing.

The hours pass by, bottles of alcohol are emptied, but still no sign of a kiss or loving gazes. Annette supposes it’s still early.

When some of them start dozing off and Annette herself is blinking away her sleepiness, Felix gets up to fetch blankets, then drops them on a nearby couch and yells at them to sleep if they can’t remain awake—that’s actually thoughtful of him. He goes back to sitting too close to Sylvain, but at least he’s not sitting in his lap anymore.

“This can be embarrassing to watch, but I am actually happy to see Felix and Sylvain unrestrained in their love,” Dimitri admits sheepishly.

Annette hits her forehead against the table.

“I don’t mean any offense, but they’re kind of exhausting.”

“Yes, they are,” Dimitri laughs. “But they have always been close.”

“...Your heart is made of gold, Your Majesty.”

“Oh, I am simply waiting for the day it goes too far.”

At this Annette jerks her head up, staring at Dimitri who keeps smiling, his eye glinting with playfulness.

“My lecture will be unforgettable.”

It sounds so honest and normal that Annette can’t help but snicker, imagining Felix’s and Sylvain’s faces twisted in a grimace as they listen to their king rant about propriety and manners and etiquette.

She ends up falling asleep on her chair after talking a while longer with Dimitri, vaguely aware she is forgetting about something.

***

“You’re telling me they behaved?!”

“Yes, unfortunately for you, the number of public displays of affection stopped at seven yesterday.”

“Wait, but those seven occurrences are what I’ve seen and heard about! I’m sure someone witnessed something we didn’t!”

Annette lets out a long whine, as Mercedes pats her shoulder.

“I’m sorry Annie, there is no way to confirm it.”

“So no one won the bet?” Annette asks.

“See the bright side: you didn’t lose money.”

Mercedes smiles kindly at her, but Annette knows that behind this smile her best friend is teasing her. One more occurrence and she could have won… There is no way Felix and Sylvain didn’t know; evil, the both of them.