i-am-the-gremlin

[i-am-the-gremlin]

old ladies love red hood NOT because he helps them cross roads and seems like a charming young man. they love him because at the end of the night, when he's crouched over catching his breath, head in hands in what he thinks is an empty street, or hobbling down roads trying to get home quickly despite sustaining large injuries, he reminds them of their grandsons.

he gets invited into their homes, and knows better than to decline. he'll sit down and wait to be berated by the old lady at the other side of the kitchen who's putting together a quick meal for him. he'll take off the helmet, and that's when she starts, not telling him to stop what he does, but to take better damn care of himself. he'll apologise and promise, as he's fixing himself up with her first aid kit.

as he leaves she'll still be making firm, although loving remarks at him, but he smiles underneath the helmet because he's being treated like a man, not a hero, a villain, or any of the other inhuman titles he's picked up over the years.

[i-am-the-gremlin]

I think my favorite version of Dead on Main is when Danny actually isn't hot. Not like, 'ugly, but literally just the most average looking Some Guy dude while Jason is a solid 11.

Nobody judges Jason exactly, but they are very 'why', especially when Danny just kinda, does his cryptid shit in the weirdest dorkiest way possible. He glitches out both himself and the cameras and his eyes glow with the fangies in front of people and then immediately trips. His extremely cringe one liners based off the opponent of the day (Danny and mr freeze are forcibly separated after they spent a six hour long pun-off). Danny will say the single most out of pocket most traumatic thing you've ever heard in your life that's somehow still really fucking funny and is he joking??? You never know. And he's not even hot or sexy in a dangerous vampire way he acts like bigfoot but he got caught on camera with his bare ass hanging out and a fish in his mouth.

Everyone is So Confused. Even the batfam and the Outlaws who know Jason is also kind of a huge dork himself are very 'that one? really?'. And every time Danny walks in to talk to Jason about killing the scary bug in his room or 'do you wanna go to bat/nasty burger and watch me eat my weight in fries' or 'hey how much blood is a human supposed to be able to consume before it gets weird?' with zero context and Jason always replies 'on god I need to fuck him'.

Very Jessica and Roger Rabbit or Mortisha and Gomez energy with them.

[i-am-the-gremlin]

James: I think- I think I’ve fallen in love with you

Regulus:

Regulus: get the fuck back up

[i-am-the-gremlin]

Sirius and Regulus going over Walburgas' stuff after her death:

(That one Shameless scene:)

Regulus *sad face* grabbing a knife carefully from a box: she used to throw this at us when we were kids

James: What

Sirius: Oh Yeah, she had a game..what was it called?

Regulus: Dodged the dagger

Remus: I'm so fucking confused right now

Sirius: Reggie and I would run around the house screaming, laughing, trying not to get stabbed

Regulus *tearing up*:

James: That's fun...

[i-am-the-gremlin]

Growing up I always hoped I’d be as cheerful as James, as smart as Remus and as confident as Sirius.

I ended up with the mental health of Regulus Black.

[i-am-the-gremlin]

A fanfic idea:

Bruce was able to rescue Jason before he died, and after this experience, Jason stopped being Robin.

He became afterwards the golden child, he goes to college (with a scholarship), helps out in the city library, teaches children (helps with their homeworks and helps them to study), works part time in a car garage in crime alley, and is a supportive brother.

And it pisses his siblings off.

Because there has to be something fishy because no one, really no one, is that perfect.

And there is something fishy.

He is also Red Hood.

No one knows, and the vigilantes never talk to Jason about "the family business" because he needs to concentrate on his studies and other stuff.

So imagine, Batmans suprise when the JL was able to catch Red Hood.

Someone takes Jasons helmet off in front of Batman, Nightwing, and other members

And Jason, who wears also a domino mask, doesn't look Batman in the face even as he says :

"Hey Dad. I can explain."

And Dick loses his shit, he laughs so hard because, Jason, The golden child, the one who gave up on being a vigilante, who reads to children in the library, is a goddamn crimelord.

Bruce just stands there frozen because wtf Jason?!

And Dick takes selfies with Jason being tied up and calles the other Batkids in because they should definitely not be left out of it.

(Edit: As someone who doesn't really write (or can write good stories), I want to say, feel free to use this prompt for a fanfiction. Just please give credits to me (because I don't know if someone else had also this idea and posted it) and please inform me if you publish something (because I want to read a fanfiction like this too))

[i-am-the-gremlin]

You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

[i-am-the-gremlin]

Campaign settings I'd like to see more of!

Atlantis! I'd love to see more underwater creatures, kingdoms, societies and cultures! Give me somewhere we can finally put sea elfs, sirens and tritons to good use! Make a kingdom that was submerged by water that is now threatened by pollution or some wild magic that the Surface is doing! Give me underwater magic! Give me Sea Sorcerers!!

Greek Polis! Show me how the Gods would react to mortals as powerful as them. Show me Spartans that refuse to use magic in their armies, give me Athens that uses magic to progress. Show me magic ships and the minotaur terrorizing everyone!! Give me Athena's Paladins and Hestia's Clerics!!

MAGIC. SCHOOLS. C'mon, guys, put Strixhaven to use!! Adapt it for middle schoolers and teens!! Give me novice wizards that have no idea how to use their powers, give me an enormous school that has so many hidden places and creatures that not even the founder knows about. Give me kids being kids while doing FUCKING MAGIC!! Do you know how feral kids would be if they could conjure fire at will?? BRING. THE. CHAOS.

Volcano Dungeons. Make that pyromaniac sorcerer freak out when their fireball has no effect anymore. Take the Fire Plane to their level, make it the most hot and dangerous dungeons. Get a active volcano and they have to run agaisnt the clock to get out before getting thrown out with a bunch of deadly magma and lava.

Defend the Temple. This time your players are on the other side of the story, they have to defend their temple from invasors. Give me Native Empires that are fueled by anger and grief and they are finally getting their revenge. Give me Aztec Gods, give me Inca culture, bring the Mayas back to life. Show the deadliest creatures from tropical forests, give me the Amazon's most fantastic animals (that might not be completely fantasy in the end)

Post-apocalyptic medieval cities! Show me abandoned castles, ruins old as time. How the fields and feuds were reclaimed by nature, how magic build up and took down empires. Give me beasts that are no longer recognizable from zoology books, give me fiends that have gathered thousands of souls from desperation. Show me forests that grew from the foundation of temples and building that were not touched again by nature, deemed evil.

Please hit me up If you want an extended version of any of these!

[i-am-the-gremlin]

El: This plan seems complicated...

Will: To be fair, you once said that about oranges.

El: They don't make sense! Apples, you eat their clothes, but oranges, you don't?

[i-am-the-gremlin]

[At the zoo]

El: So, why are they in for?

Joyce: This isn't a prison.

El: So they can leave?

Joyce: Well no but-

El, pointing at a penguin: I bet that one killed somebody.

[i-am-the-gremlin]

Will: I want to be a caterpillar.

Dustin: Explain?

Will: Eat a lot, sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.

Dustin: You know that they have a lifespan of like two weeks right?

Will: That's another highlight.

Mike: WILL NO-

[i-am-the-gremlin]

Dustin: Why is justice best served cold?

Lucas: Because otherwise it will be JUSTWATER!

Steve, hitting them with a broom: IT'S 3 AM, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

[i-am-the-gremlin]

I looove when food is in a bowl. Frequently plates are being brought out and I'm thinking this could've been a bowl meal but nobody gets it

[i-am-the-gremlin]

I understand if its not your thing but.

Stali, Blue and Softcore by The Neighbourhood?

The Sound of Breaking Down

Blue tinged light bathed the small apartment, catching on the dust dancing through the air where it crept through the shuttered blinds.

Worn leather boots squeaked quietly against the scuffed floorboards as Kali slipped through the door, silent as a mouse. Her fingers bit into sharp metal in her pocket, stinging just enough to keep herself aware.

Even her breath was silent, lips barely parting. She didn’t want to rouse the lone figure tangled in bedsheets in the middle of the room, mattress on the floor and blankets a disaster half pooled around it. It was a hot summer night, it must’ve gotten too warm. There was a telltale sheen to his skin that fit that thought.

Kali tried to ignore the heavy ball settling in her stomach as she looked at him, the whites of her eyes piercing in the darkness.

She turned her back to him, steadfastly ignoring the tremble in her hands as she did so. The kitchen was spotless, as usual. No thanks to her, she wasn’t sure she’d touched a bottle of cleaner or a rag in months.

It only made the bitter taste on the back of her tongue stronger as she turned the sink tap on low, pulling off her fingerless gloves and setting them aside on the counter. Burgundy framed her nails, flaky and uncomfortable. Stomach twisting, she swallowed heavily as she shoved her hands under the tap.

It turned a sickly sanguine pink as it swirled over the steel sink base, evidence of a wasted life escaping down the drain. Kali tightened her grip on the nail brush as the smell of copper hit her nose, chin trembling. Her hands didn’t feel like they’d ever be clean again.

They’d been bloody for too many years.

Still, she scrubbed. She scrubbed and scrubbed, rubbing her skin raw with the hard bristles until the urge to drown herself like the litter runt in the sink started to abate.

When her hands were clean- at least, on a surface level- she managed to feel a little more stable. She braced herself on the counter, taking a few deep breaths in and out.

He deserved it. He took joy in hurting them as kids. Grinned when they flinched away from his large hands.

When she looked in his face, she could so clearly remember the feeling of his blunt nails digging into her forearms.

He deserved it. He was one of the worst. He only got what was coming to him.

Kali stumbled her way out of the kitchen, shrugging off layers of clothes as she went. Her leather jacket ended up draped on a dining chair, faded black tee over the back of the couch, shoes on the rug. She told herself she’d pick them up in the morning, but she knew better.

Steve always beat her to it. Endlessly thoughtful Steve. Always jumping at ways to make her life easier. Sometimes she felt like she was choking on his selflessness.

Her shaky fingers slipped on the button of her jeans multiple times, only just managing to pop them open and work them down her legs as she reached the edge of the bed.

Steve sighed in his sleep, spread out on his stomach with his face pressed into something he had wrapped tightly in his grip. It took her a minute to realize it was her pillow.

God, he fell asleep breathing in the scent of her shampoo. Alone. Again.

Why are you still here? She screamed in her head, feeling like something was shredding itself apart in her ribcage. Why don’t you leave? I always do. I’m always leaving and you’re always here.

The warm air brushed her bare skin as she stood there, staring at him. Fighting herself to even get into bed.

She should leave. Kali knew that was what she should do. Steve deserved someone who wasn’t always leaving him alone, only coming back when she had to. She was too consumed with her own life- her revenge- for this, for commitment, for someone to love her so much that he could only sleep with her scent in his nose. She didn’t deserve this with the invisible blood permanently staining her.

But she was as selfish as she was self-aware and she knew she’d miss him the way she’d never missed anyone before. Staying, sharing what was left of her heart, was tearing her apart. But she couldn’t stomach leaving either.

So she stayed even though she shouldn’t. As always.

She kneeled on the edge of the mattress, lowering herself as carefully as she could so as not to jostle him awake. Kali didn’t want to see the knowing look in his eyes when he saw her, quiet and withdrawn, sneaking into the apartment at three in the morning.

He knew her better than she was entirely comfortable with.

Still, the universe was out to get her tonight. Just as she thought she’d pulled off getting into bed unnoticed, she accidentally kneed him in the calf.

Steve groaned quietly, long legs stretching out. He was naked save for the bedsheet draped over him, which left little to the imagination. Desire battled with her self loathing at the sight of muscles shifting under his freckled skin, eyes following the hand that lifted to scratch through the thatch of hair on his chest.

“Mm-“ Steve blinked his eyes open and Kali burned with shame at the way his whole face softened at the sight of her. The love in his eyes was unmistakable and she both craved it and simultaneously wanted to start screaming.

Stop looking at me like that, please-

“Welcome back, beautiful.” He whispered into the darkness, words bittersweet when she felt so raw. And there it was, that knowing look. A brief flash of hazel eyes that said ‘I wish you didn’t have to do this’.

It was a look that used to make her angry, made her feel pitied. Now it just made her tired.

A golden winged butterfly only the two of them could see landed on the tip of his nose and it startled a soft, half awake laugh out of him. Good. It stopped him from trying to peer into her soul for a moment.

“Cute.” He muttered, rolling his eyes as she shifted her weight, wiggling down into the sheets to get comfortable. Steve was apparently having none of the space she’d carefully left between them, though. The butterfly vanished as her concentration was broken, his strong arms wrapping around her waist and smoothly pulling her on top of him.

Kali squawked in protest, planting her knees on either side of his hips to keep herself from toppling over. “Feeling touchy, are we?” She sighed, her lips twitching ever so slightly at the corners.

“Maybe a little. I missed you.” These words were breathed into her mouth, their faces much closer than they had been a second prior. Kali couldn’t keep fighting him. He was like the morning sun- the golden glow of dawn, almost painful to look at and just as exquisitely beautiful.

Providing so much for her that she took for granted time and time again.

How can you kiss me when you know I killed someone tonight? She wondered as soft lips molded to her own, the scruff of his unshaven cheeks scratchy in a way that made her shiver. How do you see beauty behind the mask of a monster?

Kali settled her weight in his lap. Maybe this was unhealthy. Maybe they were too young.

Maybe she was too broken.

But he never seemed to care and she didn’t have it in her to keep trying to stop him. Maybe they would burn each other out in time and this was all for nothing. Regardless of all the maybes in the world, she needed him tonight.

“Make me forget-“ She begged against his lips, eyes cinching tight against a wash of hot tears she hated to admit were there.

His hands braced her hips, thick fingers burning where they bit into her skin and lips moving to trace the shape of her jaw.

As always, he gave her no less than exactly what she needed.

[i-am-the-gremlin]

I understand if its not your thing but.

Stali, Blue and Softcore by The Neighbourhood?

The Sound of Breaking Down

Blue tinged light bathed the small apartment, catching on the dust dancing through the air where it crept through the shuttered blinds.

Worn leather boots squeaked quietly against the scuffed floorboards as Kali slipped through the door, silent as a mouse. Her fingers bit into sharp metal in her pocket, stinging just enough to keep herself aware.

Even her breath was silent, lips barely parting. She didn’t want to rouse the lone figure tangled in bedsheets in the middle of the room, mattress on the floor and blankets a disaster half pooled around it. It was a hot summer night, it must’ve gotten too warm. There was a telltale sheen to his skin that fit that thought.

Kali tried to ignore the heavy ball settling in her stomach as she looked at him, the whites of her eyes piercing in the darkness.

She turned her back to him, steadfastly ignoring the tremble in her hands as she did so. The kitchen was spotless, as usual. No thanks to her, she wasn’t sure she’d touched a bottle of cleaner or a rag in months.

It only made the bitter taste on the back of her tongue stronger as she turned the sink tap on low, pulling off her fingerless gloves and setting them aside on the counter. Burgundy framed her nails, flaky and uncomfortable. Stomach twisting, she swallowed heavily as she shoved her hands under the tap.

It turned a sickly sanguine pink as it swirled over the steel sink base, evidence of a wasted life escaping down the drain. Kali tightened her grip on the nail brush as the smell of copper hit her nose, chin trembling. Her hands didn’t feel like they’d ever be clean again.

They’d been bloody for too many years.

Still, she scrubbed. She scrubbed and scrubbed, rubbing her skin raw with the hard bristles until the urge to drown herself like the litter runt in the sink started to abate.

When her hands were clean- at least, on a surface level- she managed to feel a little more stable. She braced herself on the counter, taking a few deep breaths in and out.

He deserved it. He took joy in hurting them as kids. Grinned when they flinched away from his large hands.

When she looked in his face, she could so clearly remember the feeling of his blunt nails digging into her forearms.

He deserved it. He was one of the worst. He only got what was coming to him.

Kali stumbled her way out of the kitchen, shrugging off layers of clothes as she went. Her leather jacket ended up draped on a dining chair, faded black tee over the back of the couch, shoes on the rug. She told herself she’d pick them up in the morning, but she knew better.

Steve always beat her to it. Endlessly thoughtful Steve. Always jumping at ways to make her life easier. Sometimes she felt like she was choking on his selflessness.

Her shaky fingers slipped on the button of her jeans multiple times, only just managing to pop them open and work them down her legs as she reached the edge of the bed.

Steve sighed in his sleep, spread out on his stomach with his face pressed into something he had wrapped tightly in his grip. It took her a minute to realize it was her pillow.

God, he fell asleep breathing in the scent of her shampoo. Alone. Again.

Why are you still here? She screamed in her head, feeling like something was shredding itself apart in her ribcage. Why don’t you leave? I always do. I’m always leaving and you’re always here.

The warm air brushed her bare skin as she stood there, staring at him. Fighting herself to even get into bed.

She should leave. Kali knew that was what she should do. Steve deserved someone who wasn’t always leaving him alone, only coming back when she had to. She was too consumed with her own life- her revenge- for this, for commitment, for someone to love her so much that he could only sleep with her scent in his nose. She didn’t deserve this with the invisible blood permanently staining her.

But she was as selfish as she was self-aware and she knew she’d miss him the way she’d never missed anyone before. Staying, sharing what was left of her heart, was tearing her apart. But she couldn’t stomach leaving either.

So she stayed even though she shouldn’t. As always.

She kneeled on the edge of the mattress, lowering herself as carefully as she could so as not to jostle him awake. Kali didn’t want to see the knowing look in his eyes when he saw her, quiet and withdrawn, sneaking into the apartment at three in the morning.

He knew her better than she was entirely comfortable with.

Still, the universe was out to get her tonight. Just as she thought she’d pulled off getting into bed unnoticed, she accidentally kneed him in the calf.

Steve groaned quietly, long legs stretching out. He was naked save for the bedsheet draped over him, which left little to the imagination. Desire battled with her self loathing at the sight of muscles shifting under his freckled skin, eyes following the hand that lifted to scratch through the thatch of hair on his chest.

“Mm-“ Steve blinked his eyes open and Kali burned with shame at the way his whole face softened at the sight of her. The love in his eyes was unmistakable and she both craved it and simultaneously wanted to start screaming.

Stop looking at me like that, please-

“Welcome back, beautiful.” He whispered into the darkness, words bittersweet when she felt so raw. And there it was, that knowing look. A brief flash of hazel eyes that said ‘I wish you didn’t have to do this’.

It was a look that used to make her angry, made her feel pitied. Now it just made her tired.

A golden winged butterfly only the two of them could see landed on the tip of his nose and it startled a soft, half awake laugh out of him. Good. It stopped him from trying to peer into her soul for a moment.

“Cute.” He muttered, rolling his eyes as she shifted her weight, wiggling down into the sheets to get comfortable. Steve was apparently having none of the space she’d carefully left between them, though. The butterfly vanished as her concentration was broken, his strong arms wrapping around her waist and smoothly pulling her on top of him.

Kali squawked in protest, planting her knees on either side of his hips to keep herself from toppling over. “Feeling touchy, are we?” She sighed, her lips twitching ever so slightly at the corners.

“Maybe a little. I missed you.” These words were breathed into her mouth, their faces much closer than they had been a second prior. Kali couldn’t keep fighting him. He was like the morning sun- the golden glow of dawn, almost painful to look at and just as exquisitely beautiful.

Providing so much for her that she took for granted time and time again.

How can you kiss me when you know I killed someone tonight? She wondered as soft lips molded to her own, the scruff of his unshaven cheeks scratchy in a way that made her shiver. How do you see beauty behind the mask of a monster?

Kali settled her weight in his lap. Maybe this was unhealthy. Maybe they were too young.

Maybe she was too broken.

But he never seemed to care and she didn’t have it in her to keep trying to stop him. Maybe they would burn each other out in time and this was all for nothing. Regardless of all the maybes in the world, she needed him tonight.

“Make me forget-“ She begged against his lips, eyes cinching tight against a wash of hot tears she hated to admit were there.

His hands braced her hips, thick fingers burning where they bit into her skin and lips moving to trace the shape of her jaw.

As always, he gave her no less than exactly what she needed.

[i-am-the-gremlin]

edit of all time

[i-am-the-gremlin]

Steve doing a whole Bit™️ while cleaning his pool in nothing but a wet, cropped shirt and shorts one summer after the world doesn't end.

He's got music playing from his open bedroom window. He's got a pool net in one hand, alternating using it as both a mic and a guitar.

He's also got an audience of the entire hellfire club in his sun room but he has no idea they're there because Eddie has sworn them to absolute silence so he can Enjoy This™️ an if they speak, they're doomed.