#the encouragement we all need.................

[clareguilty]

There should be a way to borrow the motivation and confidence authors get from fanfic comments before they actually post the fic why hasn't science figured this one out yet

[jinx-xxed]

Desperate Soul

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

A/N; I said I was gonna do it and here we are 😭 This felt like me exorcising a demon out of my body so I hope you all enjoy 🤕 also just quickly want to say thank you so so much for 2k notes on my fic Work Song, that’s absolutely insane and I never expected it to get that much attention <3 it means so much to me and encourages me to keep writing :)

Summary; Remmick wants a family more than anything.

Content; NSFW 18+, AFAB reader, human reader, breeding kink, like that’s literally all this is, pure filth, scenting, possessive Remmick, ovulation, very desperate Remmick, married to Remmick, fingering, piv sex, overstimulation, getting pinned, multiple orgasms (both), begging, biting, drooling, dirty talk, pregnancy mentions, cuddling

Wc; 2.8k

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

“Rem- Remmick-“

His name falls from your mouth like a plea, one that the man above you doesn’t adhere to, his mind too preoccupied with keeping you in place. The only sign that he heard you is a low moan that originates from deep in his chest, reverberating against your back. You’re trapped on your stomach beneath him, his hands firm on your hips and his body so snug against yours it’s like you could be one entity. His nose is buried in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent while his erection rubs against your ass through the thick material of his pants.

“Smell so goddamn sweet, sugar.” Remmick mumbles, words already beginning to slur with his desire. There’s an edge to them, something gravelly and rough that makes you shiver. “Drove me crazy, could smell it all the way from the damn yard, how ready this pussy is fer me.”

It’s always unnerved you how inhuman his sense of smell is, somehow able to pick up when your body is shifting through cycles. Remmick acts as your own personal tracker, like how he’ll follow you around like a dog whenever your period is about to start. Then there’s times like these when you’re woken by him pinning you down, pressing in to you so deeply that you know it’s the time when your body is the most accepting to him. It makes him feral in a way blood never could.

Remmick groans against your skin, his lips moving down your shoulder, leaving a trail of saliva behind. Drool threatens the corners of his mouth, the scent of you so intoxicating that it has him reeling. His cock strains in its confines, aching in a way bordering on painful just for you, always for you. His hands are trembling when he steadily bunches your slip further up your body, treating you with a reverence like you’re something to be worshipped at an altar. Goosebumps raise along your exposed flesh, both from the kiss of cool air and the anticipation.

“She’s beggin’ me to fill ‘er. God I can fuckin’ smell it.” He whines, the beginnings of his fangs just barely scraping against your shoulder blade. “Gonna pump you so full baby, I promise.”

You moan into the pillow in response, a heavy flush making your face feel as though it’s on fire. He always gets so filthy during this time, his dirty vows ringing in your ears and making your back arch into his chest. He hums appreciatively, his fingers hooking into your underwear and tugging it down your legs. The noise he makes is loud and desperate when the scent of your pussy hits him, your arousal already making your folds glisten. “Such a good girl, sugar, always ready f’me. Can tell how bad ya need me.” Remmick coos while he draws two fingers through the lips of your cunt with abandon, collecting that slick so it’s easy when he pushes them into your wetness.

You shudder with a breathless whimper, nails digging into the sheets beneath you as he sets a steady pace. His thumb finds your clit, the calloused pad rubbing circles against the bundle of nerves while pleasure sparks through your veins. He knows just how to work you open, scissoring those gummy walls and pressing against the right spots to ensure you feel him. You can tell how eager he is, nothing about him slow as he builds you up to your climax, as he buries those fingers into you as deep as they’ll go. It’s never quite enough to fill you completely, but it creates that knot in your gut just the same. Your eyes water and your mouth hangs open when your first orgasm hits you, when you clench around him as release rips through you with a moan. Your body succumbs to him so easily, with him practically knowing every inch of you inside and out.

“Yeah, that’s it. Just like that, baby.” Remmick encourages you, riding you through that orgasm as his movements begin to slow. You hear him fumbling with his belt at the same time, groaning when his leaking, agonizingly hard cock is finally freed. He muffles the sound into your shoulder, his panting breath fanning across your neck. “Need you, sugar- fuckin’ g’damn- need to fill this sweet pussy with my cum-“

You squirm with his words, a mewl coming from you. “Please, Remmick-“ His name is more of a gasp coming from you but it affects him just the same, his fingers digging harder into your hips as his cock drags through your folds. You’re shaking from the tease of it, of feeling his length just barely catching your entrance, your chest heaving. He bites his bottom lip between his teeth, moaning when blood blooms under the pressure.

It’s when that first taste of iron hits his tongue that his cock finally sinks into your aching heat. He bottoms out on that first thrust in, his hips sitting flush to yours as he folds himself over you, so close you can feel every inhale and hear every little noise he makes deep in his throat. You keen at the fullness of him, of the way his thick cock presses against your walls, pulsing with the desire of release, hot and heavy inside you. “Ohh yeah, she want it too, don’t she? Wants me to breed her nice and full, make sure it fuckin’ takes, huh?” He spits that last phrase, bitter at the fact he still hasn’t taken root in your womb despite his… restless efforts, those vampire traits slashing through his chances. You whine in response as he draws out, dragging his cock through you, making you feel every inch on its way before he brutally slams back in.

You can feel how the bed jolts beneath you, beneath Remmick’s desperate, hungry pace. His hands are on either side of you, the tips of his claws sliding from their sheaths to rip at the blankets around you, the ones you’d been wrapped snugly in just an hour prior. The drool that’s begun to drip from his mouth falls along your bare skin, smeared by his own body as it moves against you, both of you becoming coated in his feral desire. If you could get a good look at him you would see the way his eyes are burning a bright red like the hottest fire, his short black hair a ruffled, sweaty mess.

His lips suck marks into your neck, his sharpened teeth just barely teasing the arteries flowing with sweet, mortal blood. You curse when he nips at you, not enough to do real damage, just enough to break you out of your lust induced trance and let a few drops of red bubble to the surface. “Goddamn animal.” You manage to snap at him, only for him to hum in agreement, greedily licking up the blood, your glorious taste blooming on his tongue.

Remmick releases your skin with a pop to pant openly against you, his hands returning to your waist in his need to touch you, his wedding band creating an indent in your waist with how hard he holds you. “S-so good, sugar, grippin’ me so tight.” He whines. “I know ya want it, want me to give you a baby, shit-“

You’d agree with him if you could speak, if his cock wasn’t punching the breath from your lungs. You’ve always wanted to raise a child one day, to have a little bundle of joy to brighten your home, to be like those mothers in church with their kids that run and laugh in the yard after service, telling them not to get their clothes dirty. You’d accepted that the chances of it happening with Remmick are incredibly slim, but there’s still some hope that sparks between you. Vampire-human hybrids have been born before, there’s just so few of them that there’s barely any true record of their existence.

You yelp when a palm rests on your stomach and then you’re getting pulled back into him to meet each of his thrusts, your ass in the air and your knees having to come under you to support your weight. You feel him deeper this way, every vein and ridge of his girth molded for your cunt. You scrabble at the sheets as pleasure builds, as your walls flutter and tighten around him, making him release a guttural, animalistic groan. His head falls back, his fangs gleaming in his open mouth from his drool, his skin flushed and shining with sweat.

Remmick can never get over how pretty you look when you’re beneath him, your back arching into his touch, your form so beautifully pliant. Your scent continues to cloud his thoughts, making his head swim with only that primal need deep in his bones to fill you, to watch his cum drip from your hole, to claim you in every sense. When you smell like this, so sweet and ripe and perfect, he wants nothing more than to keep you right here in this bedroom all day and night until his seed takes, to keep you wet and bred real nice, to keep you comfortable and craving just him, only him. He knows he can’t, knows that eventually you’ll shove him off so you can work on your writings, so instead he’ll just make sure you leave with every drop of him inside you.

You’re chanting his name now, your pussy gripping him in a dangerous way. “Rem- gonna cum Remmick, please-“ You gasp, your muscles tensing, your noises growing in pitch.

“I know, baby, me too.” He grunts, wedging a hand between you to rub at your clit. You nearly scream at the added pleasure, your limbs twitching at the sensation, your cunt fluttering as he yanks you closer and closer to that edge. “So fuckin’ good, sugar- gonna give you everything-“

You cum together, his hot spend painting your cunt white at the same time you gush around his cock. His moans become breathless, his nails digging in just enough to prick you as he gets lost in your combined release. Your body heaves as it tries to take in air, your arms and legs going limp, aftershocks making you tingle. You feel Remmick’s forehead press against your shoulder, gentle kisses laid against your skin with praises whispered in their wake while he remains buried deep in your pussy. He manages to let go of your hip to find your hand, holding it tightly in his own, relishing in your warmth and your matching wedding ring.

You jolt when he shifts, when he ruts into you almost experimentally. That’s when you realize how hard he still is, how that fire in him still hasn’t been doused. That god damn vampire stamina.

“Rem- wait-“ You beg, attempting to scrabble away from the overstimulation he’s threatening your tired body with, but he doesn’t give you a chance. He tugs you right back, sinking into your pussy as his cum drools out around his length, making a mess of the blankets.

“Nuh uh, baby, I still got some left in me. Just be good for me, sugar.” He coos, thrusting slow like he’s trying to be nice. “Gotta make sure it sticks, gotta fill ya ‘til I’m all you know.”

You whimper pitifully, your cheeks shiny with tears and your mouth dropped open. He sighs contentedly, listening to the obscene squelch of his cum inside you, pride blazing within him when he looks at the ruin he’s made of your cunt. “Beautiful thing… my perfect girl.” Remmick says reverently, leaning down to kiss along your shoulders and up your neck, savoring the saltiness of your sweat. He groans, his pace ramping up in speed with his desire, his nose nuzzling against your throat. His next words are whispered and broken, like he’s scared to speak them. “Please… please take me, sweetheart.”

He wants little else than to give you a baby, to have you heavy with his child. He doesn’t know how long he’s spent craving a family, wishing to have something to truly call his own, to have something that’s part of him. That desire has followed him into immortality, still stuck in the back of his mind, refusing to let him go. Being able to give you this would be like proving he can still make something good, something pure and sweet, proving there’s still something human deep down inside of him. There’s some nights when he asks those damned gods above if he’s suffered enough, if he could just have this one mercy, this one thing that he’s always wanted. They have yet to answer him.

You whine under him, squeezing his hand tightly as pleasure wracks through you. You’re already on the cusp of your third orgasm, your shared release lazily running down your folds and making you shudder. His cock continues to ram into your abused hole, chasing his own release. You can barely think, barely speak, your mind wiped blank from the onslaught. You startle when your entire world tilts as Remmick suddenly lifts you with ease, holding you tight against his chest with a hand loose on your throat and an arm slung across your tired body to keep you upright.

You moan louder as you’re thrusted down onto him, your legs bracketing his own and spread wide so he’s as deep as he could possibly be. It’s from this angle that you can at last properly see his face, your neck twisting to meet his lidded red eyes, so full of his love and need for you. Your hand reaches back into his black hair, bringing him in so you can kiss him as you tumble over the edge. He swallows down your whimpers eagerly, groaning in tandem. He follows soon after, your combined cum dribbling out to stain your inner thighs.

You separate from him with a gasp when he still doesn’t stop thrusting up into you after barely a moments pause. It’s all you can do to say his name desperately, the sound garbled by your cries. Remmick merely shushes you, kissing at your tears. “Just one more baby, you can do it, c’mon.” He encourages, finding your clit again and rubbing frantic circles. Your body jerks, your feet pushing against the sheets to try and escape to no avail. He hums at the struggle, his grip tightening. Something akin to a growl rumbles in his chest. “Wanna see you so full, sweet thing. Wanna see you fuckin’ swollen with my kids.”

He bites at your shoulder with a loud groan, listening to the way you sob and plead for mercy, your core tightening almost painfully. The way your pussy grips him is fucking divine, so tight and hot and wet around his cock, filled to the brim with his cum. You cry out when your next orgasm slams into you like a truck, your eyes rolling back and your nails digging in to any part of him you can reach. “That’s it, my good girl.” He praises, his words slightly slurred, kissing away the sting of his teeth on your skin. He breaks a few seconds after you, coming with a loud curse, shooting a third load into your poor cunt as his muscles bunch up.

Remmick would’ve collapsed on top of you if he didn’t put his arm out in the last second, easing you both down instead. His sweaty chest presses against your back, both of you desperately gulping down air. You don’t know how long you lay like that, stuck together with a mixture of cum and sweat and trying to catch your breath. You’ve never felt so exhausted in your life, every bit of energy sucked out of you and rendering you immobile. You really don’t understand how the fuck Remmick still has anything left after that, but he manages to prop himself up, scooping an arm under you and shifting you so you can lay on top of him.

You can’t help wincing at the way his cum drips out of you without his cock to plug you up, but you’re honestly too tired to care. He slings a strong arm across your back to keep you right against him while he brushes the hair from your face. His kisses are gentle, his claws and fangs retracted now that he’s basically been drained of all he’s worth. “My sweet girl, so good f’me.” Remmick murmurs, running his fingers soothingly along your skin, leaving pleasant goosebumps in their wake. “Love you, baby.”

You can’t remember if you said it back or just mumbled something incoherent but he seems happy nonetheless, his content sigh ruffling the hairs on the top of your head. You gladly snuggle into him, your eyes closed and already drifting off.

You both fall asleep, too exhausted to do much else, hoping that maybe this will be the one.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

Tags; @killora1708

[shining-dawn]

I understand hating this situation but also, as someone who actually works in the nonprofit world, in order to make things better we do need to use the term "affordable housing" as an official term and we need to do so without any stigma. We need to be able to encourage landowners to join and adhere to the practices that qualify them as Affordable Housing, and many of them will back out if they encounter any negativity around the terminology. So yes, all housing should be affordable but please don't create any more baggage for the phrase "affordable housing" than it already has.

I hate, hate, HATE the term “affordable housing.” I hate that we’ve normalized it. I hate that we just accept that the majority of housing, a basic human right, is unaffordable to much of the population. Housing should be affordable as a baseline. If rich people want to add arcades and gold-plated hot tubs on top so be it, but everyone, everyone, regardless of income level, should have access to a clean, comfortable home with enough light and space to make life worth living.

[lighting-and-shadow]

Ikigai, Part 9

Summary: You’re desperately in love with a man who already belongs to another.

Ikigai (n.) (Japanese): "A reason for being," the thing that gets you up in the morning.

Trigger Warnings: brief mentions of suicide, romanticization of suicide, mentions of cannibalism, mentions of murder

Part 8

“Have fun.”

His voice is light, teasing like it usually is. But you can tell there's something more underneath that facade. Even as Sylus hands you his black card, you know there's more there.

He’s unsatisfied with something. He wants something.

It's the way he looks at you. Like he's craving. Hungry. You don't see this side of him often, but it usually comes out during when you need to dress fancy for some party or gathering.

Don't dwell on it. You have work to do.

You snatch his card from him, careful to not even graze his skin. His touch has a way of distracting you. And those kinds of distractions are the last thing you need.

“We shall.”

Sylus gives you a strange look. You just stare on forward, beckoning him to give you the card. Then he chuckles and his eyes soften to that special gaze that makes your heart melt before he hands it over. God are you glad things are at least semi-normal between the two of you.

You lean into Miss Hunter, loop your arms through hers, and begin to walk away.

“Me and Miss Hunter are off. Don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on her and make sure she isn’t too good of bait.”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Miss Hunter mutters.

“And I am hardly a babysitter,” you smile at her. “I’m merely looking out for my new friend because she’s clearly a trouble magnet.”

Miss Hunter scoffs at you. Sylus just watches the two of you with a smile that speaks to something deeper in you.

“And you? Who will keep an eye on you, sweetie?”

“Everyone,” you reply with a smirk. “Because that’s my job.”

That’s why he called you Gamayun, after all. Because you bewitch and charm people with the words from your mouth. Sometimes you told truths, hidden prophecies and tales of the past. Sometimes you told lies, dark exaggerated whispers and catatraphizing things from the smallest details.

Gamayun wasn’t just an empty promise of Sylus’ love. It's more than that. It’s your story. It’s you. And that’s why you love the nickname so much despite the pain it causes.

You exchange a look with Sylus before he leaves to deal with the traitor. His carmine eyes and heartfelt expression draw you in. For a moment, he’s the siren between the two of you.

But than the god of death that he is, and the origin of your own nickname for him, claws its way to overlap that beautiful face of his. That part of him is struggling to come out right now. He doesn’t want to become that fearsome person, and just remain in his other state.

He stays loyal to his duty, though. Much like you do. You wish you both didn't have to.

You focus on Miss Hunter in order to drown out those thoughts. Watching her go wild with Sylus’ card, after you encouraged her multiple times to do so, brings a smile to your face.

But, at the same time, you can’t help but mentally check out. Your mind drifts to simpler times. Times before you were in love with a taken man and the two of you were just boss and employee.

The hostess of the gala stands out in her intricate blue dress. Crushed seashells along her trim dazzle like diamonds. Her deep blue makeup perfectly complements her pale skin.

Just her getup alone reminds you of the mermaids you've seen in books as a kid. Her flickers make the semblance all the more obvious.

Flashes of tattoos on her face and a scaly tail where her legs should be. They bring with them a hum in the air, and the scent of salt. But they vanish just as quickly as they come.

She's beautiful in both states. Beautiful and deceptively fragile.

Because if someone was just looking at her for the first time with no context, they couldn't imagine the sheer amount of blood on her hands.

Kai is a delicate woman, small and unassuming. But you know better from the stories you’ve dug up and the ones your boss has told you.

”A woman with an ice-cold heart,” all the rumors said. Sylus just said she’s a ruthless cockroach unwilling to die, which he could respect.

She seems so untouchable. You and Sylus make your entrance to her gala, you in his colors and arms locked, yet she doesn’t even spare a glance. She just talks. Talks and ignores all gazes that turn to the new people in the room.

She may ignore your presence, but you can’t ignore hers. Not with that color that bleeds into her thread. Not with the stain of death that hangs upon it.

A dead soulmate, her thread reads. One that took his own life.

It’s the rarest of threads for you to see. Because most tended to follow their soulmates. A soulmate’s love is the most treasured love, after all. And to live without that love isn’t a life worth living in the eyes of most.

Maybe that’s why she has such a vicious repetition? Maybe that’s why she’s known for having such a dead heart? Because people sensed there was something fundamentally wrong with her, much like they do with you.

You chase those cursed thoughts away as soon as they come. They only bring misfortune, and tonight, you need anything but that. You need Kai’s fortune.

”This place is rather stuffy,” you comment loudly enough for the hostess to hear once you’re close.

Kai’s expression doesn’t change, but the look in her eyes do. They shift to one of curiosity and inquiry.

Most people wouldn’t dare to insult a party to straight to the hostess’ face. Especially when said party is being thrown by her. So as you've hopedd, she's drawn to you, even if she's unaware of that.

From what you've researched about her, she is a woman who values honesty. So while it may pain you to be so blunt, being forthcoming is the best way to sway her. That, and if you can find her single weak point.

Because someone like Kai doesn’t do all this without reason. You need to find that reason.

Of course, there were rumors. Secret children. Dying parents. But, seeing her in person confirms only one: a spouse.

Kai doesn’t wear a ring on her finger. She doesn’t even have a tan-line to indicate that she wears one outside of work. It’s her thread that tells you of another. You don't get the details. But this person, this mystery spouse, is kind. With a heart so warm it thawed even Kai's.

That’s who you need to find.

”Apologies, Mrs. Kerr,” you plaster on a genuine smile. “Didn’t know you were so close. I may look like a dragon at the moment, but I assure you, I do not possess the eyes of one.”

You fiddle with the fake, but realistic, horns on your head as you say this.

”Seems you got my gift,” Kai’s voice is smooth, but absent of any emotion.

”Gift, you say? That’s what you’d call this?” Sylus gestures to you and him.

For whatever reason, Kai decided to make her gala themed. Non-humans, to be exact. And you and Sylus are dragons, fiends, according to what she sent you alongside the two invites. Said invite had clear instructions on how you wouldn’t be let in if you weren’t wearing your designated outfit.

You knew from the second you saw the outfits (after getting over you initial shock that she had your measurements for some reason, and knew of your employment under Sylus so quickly) that Sylus wouldn’t be in a good mood during this gathering.

He’s already glaring daggers at anyone who dares to gaze at him for too long. And he’s touched his horns so many times, you’re surprised they don’t have handprints in them.

However, he still manages to keep that same arrogant smirk and carefree attitude. Or, at least, he manages to fake it enough to make it seem that way. You know better due to your power.

Kai seems to know better as well. She keeps her eyes locked onto Sylus as she briefly greets and waves off other guests. Her face remains blank, but her eyes and thread tell of amusement. She notices your boss’ discomfort just like you do.

”Of course it’s a gift, Sylus,” she casually says his first name when others would say it in fear or would just use his last name. “What else would you call this?”

”You don’t want to know what I would call this, Kai,” he spits out her name like it’s an insult.

”You’re right, I don’t. Maybe your new employee can tell me what she thinks of her outfit? Everyone else has just given me the best of compliments, so I’d like to hear something honest for a change.”

The two most dangerous people in the room give you their full attention. You take it in stride, relying on years and years of practice not to shrink under their judging gazes.

Starting to feel like we’re not on the same side, you think as Sylus’ eyes in particular bare into you.

”I find them quite telling, Mrs. Kerr.”

”Telling of what?”

”Telling of your relationship to my boss, and why he decided to drag me here of all place for our first outing,” you give your full attention to Sylus before you continue. “Speaking of which, said boss needs to make himself scarce if he wants this to work properly.”

Sylus tilts his head at you, leaning to whisper in your ear, “What do you think you’re doing?”

”Setting you up for success. Now shoo,” you whisper back into his ear.

”How demanding you are, Miss Negotiator. And here I thought I was your boss.”

Sylus’ tone is the same as ever, but the glint in his eyes tells a different story. One of how he doesn’t appreciate you ordering him around and disrupting your dynamic. One of danger and cautioning you not to cross a line.

You soldier on, “You brought me here to work. So mind your ego, and let me, because she and you clearly have bad blood and I’d rather not have to navigate that all night.”

Rather than taking offense by your blunt words like a normal person, Sylus just gets more amused.

”What makes you think we have bad blood? This could just be our way communicating.”

You scoff, glancing quickly to see if Kai noticed, but she's already back to greeting guests.

”Don’t insult me, boss. Even a blind and deaf person could notice how much you two want to rip into each other.”

A thought suddenly pops up in your head after you say this.

”Why in the world do you want to do business with a woman you clearly despise, and who hates you in return?”

”Ever heard of keeping your friends close, but keeping your enemies closer, sweetie?”

You jab him in the arm for the stupid nickname, one you’ve told him repeatedly not use on you because that sort of nonsense should only be used with his soulmate. He’s ignored you every time, too entertained by your flustered reactions.

”Business requires mutual trust, does it not?”

He laughs. “Not here, sweetie. Here, business can come about merely because two people want to spite someone else.”

He looks you dead in the eye with a sinister smirk, “Or because the desperation to live is just that powerful.”

Sylus finally walks away once he says that. Shivers run down your spine. His words are a reminder of why you’re really here, on why Sylus decided you persuading one of his enemies to work with him was your first task.

He’s measuring your worth. He’s seeing if he should keep you around.

For all that you two joke and banter, there’s always a voice in the back of your head that wonders if he’ll change his mind about sparing you. You may not have known what your old auction house was doing precisely, but there may have been others that died there that were the same.

You’re here to prove that you were different than those buried in the rubble. And prove it you would.

Kai turns back to you, “Finished?”

”Of course, Mrs. Kerr. Apologies for my boss’ behavior. Listening to reason isn’t his strong suit.”

You feel a bit guilty about insulting Sylus, but than you remember his numerous threats during your first week at his base and immediately brush that off.

”I get the feeling you and I know that better than anyone.”

”Tell me about it,” you roll your eyes before schooling your expression to a more serious one. “And now that he’s gone, how about we talk business?”

”Bold one, aren’t we?”

”I was under the impression you valued honesty, Mrs. Kerr. I’d rather not insult your intelligence, and instead would like to negotiate in good faith than deceit.”

”Good faith? From Sylus?” She sneers, the most emotion she’s shown thus far.

”Not Sylus. Me.”

”You work for him. Isn’t that the same thing?”

”If we were remotely the same, I highly doubt you’d give me the time of day.”

”Maybe I’m giving you the time of day because you’re similar,” Kai takes a sip of a drink someone had offered her, frowns, and than says, “Because at least Sylus is never boring. Two of him equals twice the fun, right?”

You laugh, “Two of that man would drive me insane. And I'd imagine that would be the same for you, no?”

Kai shakes her head in humor, face still as blank as ever.

”No, you’re right. Just the image in my head of that is nightmare fuel enough. Two of him means twice the explosions every time we meet, and I don’t think my people would want to deal with that anymore than I do.”

Her words give you pause for concern.

”Explosions? That’s a theme with him?”

Kai gives you a questioning look for you to continue.

”The first time we met he blew up my old workplace. Granted, my old boss deserved it, but still… didn’t think that was an every day occurrence for him.”

”I don’t know about every day, but he tends to explode something every time I meet him. Usually me. Granted, this is usually after we’ve had another… disagreement.”

She sounds proud of herself. That pride is wiped away in a second, and she levels you with a harsh gaze.

”He knows we aren’t friends. Or allies in any capacity. And that we’ll turn a gun on one another for the right price. So why has he sent you to me?”

That ice cold gaze of her beautiful eyes would freeze anyone else. Years of customer service and dealing with others far more trigger happy than her allows you not to waver.

”Because he’s testing me,” you decide not to beat around the bush. “Getting you of all people to work with him will prove my worth.”

Kai isn’t fazed by your words.

”And you think you can do that?”

You shrug. “Why not? You’re a woman of extreme intelligence, and you’ve worked with him in the past for the right price. I just need to find out what price will make you stay and what it entails.”

Silence falls between the two of you. And you almost believe you see the ghost of a small fall on her lips. But her face is back to its usual blank expression before you can even blink.

”Ya know,” there’s a drawl in her tone, an accent leaking out that wasn’t there before. “Most people are never this upfront. Even when being honest or acting in "good faith" like you claim."

”I worked at an auction house before Sylus hired me. Trust me, I’m well aware. But I find such conversation to be desperately dull. Much like most parties.”

”I hope you’re not including mine.”

”We shall see,” you glance around, looking for a certain something for a moment, but you spot your destination easily. “Aw! There’s something to spice things up.”

You gesture to her open bar.

”I wonder who suggested that? It stands out from the usual things at these gatherings.”

”My spouse,” you’re a bit surprised at Kai’s admittance; it isn’t public knowledge that she’s married, after all. “Sylus knows I’m married. And even he didn’t, you’d of all people would’ve figured it out.”

”You flatter me.”

The two of walk to the bar. Many eyes follow you, but no one dares to approach Kai.

You see Sylus in your peripheral vision, sipping on some expensive drink you’ve seen your old boss drink occasionally, and surrounded by people who talk at him. Sylus just looks at them bored out of his mind. His signature smirk is plastered on for appearance's sake.

There’s desperation in those people. For his attention. For his cooperation. For his money. And he just stands there with that familiar, arrogant, expression.

His eyes flicker over to you. You put on an award-winning smile, and that smirk of his deepens to a real one. It makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand upright.

Because he’s judging you, studying you in ways you didn’t think possible. This is the first job where you had any danger from your own boss; the others hired you under different circumstances.

You brush him off as soon as you get to the bar. You had a plan to enact, after all.

When the woman behind the counter turns to you and Kai, you give her a sweet smile.

”Why not take a break, honey?”

The woman gives you a look. Kai doesn’t react.

”I’ll take over. I was a mixologist not long ago, and I believe your employer wants a drink more to her tastes. You seem tired, and I’d hate to put any pressure on you when I’m the one being so nosy.”

Kai tilts her head at you before she addresses the woman, “Do as she says.”

The woman thanks you profusely, and practically sprints out of the ballroom. You walk yourself to behind the counter, scanning the spread of high quality ingredients with a keen eye.

My old place was never this decked out, you think to yourself as you search for just the right things.

You get to work pretty quickly, Kai watching as you fly around from shelf to shelf. But you avoid any alcohol like the plague. From what you dug up on Kai, and your observations of her thread, she hates alcohol.

Her father drank so much to the point where she had to raise herself and her brother alone. On his rare days of coherance, he'd throw bottles at the siblings, screaming how Kai's brother murdered their mother.

Her soulmate used to use it on their bad days before their death. Alcohol is symbol of dread to Kai, a painful wound that will probably never properly heal.

You can relate to that somewhat, with you aversion to romance. Not on the same level, but that’s what empathy’s for; you don’t need to have the same experience to have an idea of what she’s been through. That, and you can read her soul.

There’s turmoil as she watches you work, curiosity and a bit of fear mixing together to make a cocktail of emotions in her heart. Outwardly, she doesn’t show any of this. Her inner world is locked away.

Another thing you two have in common. You’ve been burned by the world far too many times to trust it with your fragile heart.

And it’s why you’ve been so truthful with her so far. Kai and you’ve been lied to and lying your entire lives. Shedding that skin and becoming someone that isn’t like that for her, someone she can trust… that will do far more good than any savvy business proposal or story.

So you work to give her a flavorful drink she’ll love, reading her thread and working in your experience to create the perfect blend. The second she takes a sip of it once you slide it towards her makes all the effort worth it.

”Not bad, Miss Negotiator,” it’s as much of a compliment you’ll ever get from the woman, and you'll take it gladly.

”Why thank you for the kind words, Mrs. Kerr.”

You give a little bow as begin your next drink. No one’s ordered yet, but some of Kai’s guests are curious and look at you.

The waiters obey your orders, delivering each personalized drink to correct person. An arms dealer here, and a jewel thief there. Each have varying reactions from mirth to shock to almost a little bit of fear over the strange woman who entered with Sylus knowing them so well.

Speaking of your boss, you save his drink for last. Both for the drama and because than that puts him into the spotlight once more. The mysterious bartender and her boss… eyes will turn to the both of you.

But, eyes are apparently already on your boss. And not for anything good. You watch the last waiter go with his drink and spot the towering man in a scuffle. He stands with his arms crossed, clearly having the time of his life. You can barely see him, but that much is obvious.

Now the woman that stands in front of him is anything but that. Her face is scrunched up in ways you didn’t think possible. And judging by how she looks, she’s screaming at him. Her getup suggests a rich heiress, and there’s only one of that here from what you remember of the guest list.

Miss Andrea Crimson, the only child and heir of one of the many gangs in the N109 zone. But the Crimsons were different; they’ve been here the longest, have one of the farthest reaches, and are infamously ruthless to the point where even Sylus and you cringe.

People have died by that girl’s command for the smallest infractions. Her father gives into her every whim. And there were rumors of there being a second child that was pushed out of the family because of her jealousy.

She also has a history with your boss. Once in love him, now full of a hatred you can almost admire for how deep it runs. To Sylus, she’s a nuisance he can’t get rid of; to you, she’s yet another obstacle for you to conquer.

You politely excuse yourself to Kai, who waves you off while sipping her drink. She watches you go, though. From interest in what you’re doing, or the commotion you’re going to, you don’t know. Either way, that little bit of attention she’s paying to you will work out in your favor.

Once you arrive at Sylus’ side, you’re not given much of an opportunity to speak.

”What?” Andrea spits at you. “You his new toy, now?”

That pisses you off. Originally, you were going approach this woman with kindness, respect. A little firmness, but nothing too crazy.

That goes out the expensive, decorated window to moment she addresses you as a toy. Maybe because of that phase you had as a late teen, throwing yourself at anyone as some poor way of getting the love you crave? Maybe because you’ve worked in several places that saw you as a mere decoration?

Or maybe it’s because of what she said says about Sylus? Your new boss is harsh, but fair. Terrifying, yet reliable. And hearing her say that, imply that he treats lives and people so cheap, chips at your very soul.

Moments like these make you wonder if your lack of soulmate makes you care so much, or you were stripped of one because you’d care for others more than them.

”Oh, get a hold of yourself, Andrea. I and many others do not have the time for to interrupting important business because this man would not fuck you.”

That shuts her up quickly. But you’re not finished.

”I get that you’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted in life until he said no to you. The drugs. The money that keeps coming despite all your failed businesses. The multiple affairs, some of which whose spouses are here. Even the murder of your own sibling was covered up for you." 

You speak these words with certainty and authority as you get closer to Andrea. Her expression drops, and the blood drains from her face. Her dark skin doesn’t blush, but you can practically feel the warmth from her body.

”How did you…”

”I know more, Andrea,” you speak quieter, in her ear. “I know that you’ve stolen every little accomplishment from them. I know you framed them as the problem child while you were the perfect daughter. I know you stole their voice from them. And I know why you’ve really come here.”

”Why…”

”Do you really want me to spell it out for you? Surely there’s enough of a brain in that head of yours to not want to hear it?"

She trembles, and you relish in it.

”What do you want?”

”Leave my boss and me alone, and I’ll consider keeping my mouth shut. Because you have a treasure trove of secrets that I’ll be happy to spill if you don’t.”

Andrea shuffles away, head still hung up high despite her embarrassment. You can respect her for that much.

A slow clap from behind you causes you to drag your eyes away from her.

”Nicely done, Miss Diplomat,” Sylus’ ever present grin both amuses and frustrates you.

”I wouldn’t have had to do that if you’d have learned to keep that mouth of yours shut.”

”What would be the fun in that, sweetie?”

You internally roll your eyes at the foolish man before you. But, you plaster on your best customer service smile on the outside.

“Anyone ever told you that you’re far too aggressive?” Your tone is sickly sweet.

“Any suggestions I don’t consider are filed under “never heard of it”. Besides, you handled yourself quite well.” 

“Only because I must in order to keep your organization from collapsing and from you being constantly on everyone’s most wanted list. And if anything I tell you to do is in that “never heard of it” file, I will being killing you myself.” 

Maybe your conversations with Kai have made you stupidly bold. You mentally scold yourself for being so… insolent. But Sylus just seems to find the whole thing hilarious, so you relax.

At least you can have fun with your new boss. Even if he does tend to like threatening you. A lot.

“After all that effort you went through not only to get me to let you work with me, but also today?” 

“It’s all a part of my elaborate scheme.” 

“What scheme?”

“One filed under “Sylus is not privy to this.” Deal with it.”

He chuckles at you. Then, his tone takes on a more serious one.

”How do things with Kai fare?”

”Swimmingly, all things considered.”

”And what things are you considering?”

”You,” you say before leaving. You can hear Sylus laughing again as you do.

The journey back to Kai is a quick one, with people already back to their normal business as if nothing had happened. Perhaps because most of them see drama like this every other day.

”Apologies,” you say to Kai as soon as you get behind the bar again. “But I simply could not let such a woman make a scene at your gala. And my boss certainly wasn’t doing anything to stop her.”

”It’s fine. I invited Sylus because he attracts drama and entertainment like that. For some reason, people are too afraid to say things like that to my face."

Because you’re far more dangerous than even Sylus, you think.

Kai’s reputation is even more brutal than Sylus’. Drowning entire companies in deserts. Creating jewelry from the bones of those she’s killed. Driving people to suicide with her voice alone. Even rumors of cannabalism.

The woman is deadly, terrifying. But, for good reason.

”Well… no matter how entertaining he is, there’s a limit to how much I’m willing to stand being thrown at him. He may not be swayed by anyone’s opinion of him, but I sure am.”

Your words are flowery, targeting what you know of what Kai feels towards her spouse. There’s tinges of worry in her thread. There’s brief flashes of her mystery spouse being a doormat, and the fear that incites. Time after time, the person she loves lets their family walk over them.

Your words strike that cold heart of hers. Strike at the very core of who she is, and honestly, who you are: a protector. Because those flowery words weren’t just that. They were the honest truth.

You’re grateful to Sylus. You’ll never say that to his face, but you are. For this new job. For the freedom he allows you. For the bits of kindness he shows like ordering things you like to eat to the base or giving you the latest tools for jewelry making or giving you a rare gem or entertaining your drink mixing hobby.

Because despite how he threatens you, he still manages to treat you well. Which is far more than any of your previous bosses did.

”You care an awful lot for a man you haven’t worked with for long.”

You don’t ask how she knows this. Kai probably has an extensive information network, and she’s not stupid. With her history with Sylus, if you weren’t new, she would’ve met you sooner.

So you don’t ask that. No need to insult a woman who would, without hesitation, smash the glass in her hand to slit your throat and stain her pale skin a deep red. She’s killed over less.

”Do I need a reason to care for another? It’d be a lonely existence without it.”

”Yes it would,” she mumbles with the most emotion you’ve heard from her all night.

Once again, you tap into Kai’s deeper feelings. There’s a sense of loneliness that permeates her thread. An aching, festering, loneliness not unlike your own.

There’s a weight to that loneliness. One of responsibility. One of duty. And one of longing. Again, so similar to you, yet so different.

Part of you thinks that this why your boss and her don’t get along. Because they feel like they’re staring into a mirror.

You, on the other hand, take that similarity in stride. It’s another way for you to connect to your target.

”Why’re ya taking such an indirect approach to getting what you want from me? After all, ya clearly know ye way around getting to know people and their secrets. Why not use mine against me?"

Kai’s voice is back to her usual flat tone. Her body language is lax, but blank. She gives nothing away to normal people.

But you aren’t normal people. You see her thread, a piece of her soul leaking into your field of vision. And it tells you the real story.

It tells of wariness, of woman scorned and burned by kindness in the past. It tells of broke promises and what that did to her family. 

It tells of hopefulness, of her praying that maybe you’ll be different from the rest. It tells of how the logical side of her wants to squash that hope and snuff it out before it can see the light of day.

You appeal to that part of her, “Such methods aren’t needed here.”

”Why?”

”Because a deal made with you that’s not in good faith isn’t a deal at all. And as I said before, I'd rather our deal come out of one of good faith than deceit. That, and because both parties already have bad blood, and you deserve more than some silly scare tactics.”

”Besides,” you laugh a bit. “I doubt such a thing would work on someone like you. Andrea has nothing real in her life, nothing for her to hold on to, hence why I scared her. You do, Mrs. Kerr. And that makes you all the more fierce and all the more respectable.”

”Still on with te flattery, ya?"

She hides it well, but you can tell she has a storm of emotions at how well you read her. Fear for her spouse. A bit of awe at you and your continued boldness. Skepticism.

”It’s my greatest weapon,” you smile. “And it’ll work on you, I’m sure.”

Kai swirls the rim of her drink with her fingertip.

”And why do you believe that?”

”Because you and Sylus ultimately want the same thing: change to the N109 zone.”

Kai finally finishes her drink and turns her full attention to you.

”Why do you think that of someone like me? Surely you’ve heard the rumors?”

You almost laugh at her words. Because despite her coldness, her endless cruelty, and the way Kai carries herself... you know what she really wants.

You know her type well. You know how scarred her heart is. You know how much the child in her cries with every person she protects.

Because why was there no one like her when she was a child? Why did no one protect the little girl who grew up too fast?

”Simple. Because you’re capable of love.”

Kai has nothing to say after that. Her face is still cold. Her body is still relaxed and not giving anything away. But you know you’ve struck a chord with her.

She keeps her eyes away from yours. Perhaps because they’re so expressive despite the icy chill she tries to keep in them?

You follow her eyes. You follow her eyes as they follow someone in the gala, one that walks not too far from where the two of you sit..

They flicker. They flicker like Kai did earlier that night, and the night you first met Sylus. But they don’t show draconic traits like your boss did, nor the scales or tattoos the woman before you did.

No. This person flickers with machines. Armor and mechanical wiring crawling across their skin. Black, deep black, twined with silver. A destructive weapon in their hand.

A voice calls out from them.

”Run X-02,” it calls. “Run.”

You blink, and it’s all gone. Vanishing in a flash, but still so disturbing that it makes you feel nauseous. Because while Kai and Sylus flickers were shocking, they weren’t so… empty.

Devoid of any feeling. A machine. A weapon. A being whose parts were carved out time and time again until nothing remained but the single order to obey.

You could feel your heart pound despite your effort to calm down. You focus on the current details of the person: dark skin, black hair with streaks of silver that remind you of the stars.

No calm comes from looking at them. Because Kai has decided to make them a cyborg for their themed outfit. That, coupled with you and Sylus’ own get up, made you wonder if she knew. If she knew of the shapes certain people's souls once held. If she knew that person was an android once, just like Sylus was once a fiend.

”You seem awfully distracted.”

”Apologies.”

”No, it’s fine,” Kai waves you off, tilting her head before the whisper of a smile appears on her lips. “You’ve had to deal with a lot for your first outing with Sylus. Why not visit the gardens? My spouse takes great care of maintaining it.”

You want to take her up on the offer. To escape into nature and just settle down your thoughts and racing heart. But you can’t. You have a job to do.

”As much as I appreciate your offer, I—“

”I insist. You wouldn’t want to disobey an order from your host, now would you."

”No. No I would not, Mrs. Kerr.”

”Good.” 

She gives you the directions to the gardens. And you memorize them easily.

As you leave your station to go where she commands, you notice her glide her way to Sylus and other guests. And judging how their threads behave, you figure Kai’s in a good mood.

You think about her as you meander around her mansion. Priceless artworks are casually on display in the hallway, all of the same artist. Rafayel. You recognize his style from your auction days.

The second you see the garden, you let out a huge sigh. It’s gorgeous. Sprawling rows upon rows of flowers that you were sure were extinct. 

Towering trees that reach to the sky, their branches home to many birds. You swear you see Mephisto among them.

Whinding pathways that are easy to follow, but you can get lost because of the sheer beauty that surrounds it.

You’re in awe that such a place can exist in the N109 Zone. There’s no sunlight for these plants to gain nutrients from. So how are they growing?

Placing a hand on one of the trees, you dig into them. Plants don’t have souls, or at least, not in the way that humans and Wanderers do. They have no threads of fate. They have no real desires, fears, or secrets.

But you can speak to them on occasion. If they’re old enough.

You’re drawn to one tree, and it’s the one you place a hand on. All you get is the flashing image of the person you saw earlier, the one Kai was staring at and the one whose past emanated such emptiness.

You see them and another tending to this garden. The only thing you can make out from the other is they’re a man and he feels like sunshine. He and the person from the party are what made the plants grows.

You wander further into the garden. Birds chirp. Foxes scatter about. Gentle winds sway. And, eventually, you run into another person. It’s the one from the tree’s memory, and from the party. It’s the former android. They’re crouched on the ground, grass and dirt crawling up their fancy clothes.

The moment you see them up close, you feel bad about your early assumptions and how you let their past life cloud your judgement. Because this person has one of the most beautiful souls you’ve ever seen.

They feel like nature itself. Like all the plants, animals, and maybe even planets themselves have been meshed together to create one person. They’re thread glows with a kind of compassion and gentleness you’ve never seen from another.

Their thread is weaved together by sorrow, love, and hope. And in that love lies someone familiar: Kai. This is her spouse. This is the person she’s willing to do anything for.

Every plan you had for this meeting goes out the window. They stare at you with their tender blue eyes for a moment before they reach into their pocket for something. 

A pen and notepad comes out. You’re left there, just watching this person write something down before they rip off the slip and hand it to you.

”I’m sorry if I frightened you,” it reads. “I’m Alex, and this is my garden.”

Alex stays on the ground. You introduce yourself with your own name, and they nod.

”Can I help you? You seem in need of some assistance.”

Alex blinks at you. You offer a shaky smile. They think for a moment before standing, and you’re able to see into the bushes they were previously sheilding.

A wolf cub, hardly old enough to be away from its mother, trembles in the bushes. Clearly injured—one of its ribs is poking out of its side—,malnourished, and dripping wet. In short, its condition is horrible.

Alex is writing again. You let your palm out from them to give it to you once you see they’ve finished this time.

”I found her a few hours ago on a trip outside the zone. Poor thing was on her own and stuck under the corpuses of her slaughtered family, probably for days. She was unconscious, and her rib ripped through her skin when she woke up in a strange place. I’ve tried calming her down, but nothing seems to work.”

The sorrow in Alex’s words is evident, even if they aren’t using their voice. Their expression falls, eyes downcast and fists clenched in frustration. They’re so open with their emotions. It’s a sharp contrast to their wife’s way of doing things.

”How about I try? You’d have to relay my intentions, but I’d like to think of myself as quite good at persuading others.”

Treating a wolf cub like any other customer or dealer wasn’t something you thought you’d ever do in your life. But, the poor baby needs help. And it’ll make Alex happy.

Already attached to them within 30 seconds of meeting them.

Another paper is put into your hands, "Why?"

”Because I’d hate to see her suffer more. She deserves some kindness after what she’s been through.”

Part of you wonders if you’re still speaking about the wolf cub. And judging by their reaction, Alex thinks the same.

Deep down, you believe the same about Kai. A girl forced to step up at a young age and raise her little brother.

A woman who became a monster to protect those she loves and what remains of her people.

A woman who time and time again has forced herself to carry insurmountable burdens.

And maybe, you too, can relate to this. Maybe you also deserve some kindness after all you’ve been through. And maybe, just maybe… that’s the real reason you got this job.

To distract yourself, you do what you do best: you talk. You talk and Alex relays and repeat. Until, finally, the little cub walks out and into Alex’s arms.

They get to work immediately. You use the little one’s soul to soothe her, guiding the pup to sleep while Alex mends her fur and resets her bones.

They also summon a large falcon to perch on one of their arms. In its beak it carries a milk bottle that Alex lets the little one drink from when you coax her out of a deep sleep.

You two stand in silence for a bit. The falcon occasionally squawks.

It takes the notepad into its beak, and Alex writes, “Would you like to stay longer? I’m sorry, but I really should be heading back.”

”As should I. My foolish boss might be making a mess again.”

Alex smiles, and you both begin your walk back. They still cradle the wold cub in their arms. The falcon flies just slightly overhead. The trees and plants seem to lean and reach out to Alex as the two of you walk by.

More animals begin to join. A white tiger follows closely on their heels. A polar bear walks beside you (and it takes everything in you to remain calm). Both a crocodile and an alligator walk in front of you.

As a result of this, your re-entrance to the party turns many heads. Some afraid. Some in shock. And one enraged: Andrea. She says nothing. She just glares at Alex while they look down in embarrassment.

You reach your boss and Kai quickly. The falcon swoops down again with the notepad, Alex writes, and hands it to Kai. She reads it quickly.

She taps a fork on her glass, "Alright. I'm calling an end to tonight’s gathering. Get the fuck out before I feed you to one of these fine creatures."

Kai pets the head of the tiger and polar bear as she speaks. People hurry out. But the gaze that Kai and Alex give you and Sylus roots the two of you in place.

Kai turns to Sylus, “I’ll work with you.”

He immediately turns to you and whispers. “Seems your first job went well.”

”I told you my method would work,” you grin.

”Aww, but mine’s more effective and time-saving, sweetie. We’ve been here for far too long.”

”It hasn’t even been an hour, you big baby.”

His eyes widen at the insult, "You've become quite bold."

”I just talked to a supposed cannibal who also happens to be someone with a body count many times higher than yours and who’s been killing since she was mostly likely around the age of 5. I’m allowed to have a little bit of attitude.”

”Whatever you say.”

”And about your “method”… mine’s clearly superior to it. And better in the long run. Evidenced by how a woman who hates you is now working with you.”

”And how exactly did you do that?”

”Through her spouse. A spouse you didn’t tell me about,” you lightly gesture to Alex. Kai and them are too busy chatting to notice you do so.

”Forgot to mention them."

"No you didn't," your whisper becomes harsher with annoyance at his obvious lie. "And you did that on purpose."

Sylus' grin widens, "And why do you think that?"

Your own smile mirrors his, “It’s written all over your face.”

Sylus just laughs.

”You finished?” Kai calls out, eyebrow raised.

You two turn your full attention to her again.

”Good,” she continues. “Now, we have one condition for our business deal to go forward.”

Sylus crosses his arms. “And that would be?"

”She will be our communication. Our liaison, so to speak,” and she points at you. You snap back to the present when a hand touches your forearm. It’s Miss Hunter, and her haul of protocores.

“For someone who was so hesitant not so long ago, you’ve spent quite a lot.”

Miss Hunter ignores your words, worry lining her expression. “You okay? You were spacing out…”

Her eyes look you up and down.

“I’m not going to collapse again, sweetie. I’m quite alright.”

You give her a smile to sell the whole thing, your little act. Because what else could you tell her? That you were drowning in memories of a simpler time?

I’m fine, Miss Hunter. Just thinking about the past, before I fell in love with your soulmate and I was just an employee under him.

You couldn’t say that. For so many reasons.

Due to those reasons, you try to focus on the world around you, and anchor yourself in the present. People dancing around you, minding their own business and lost in their own worlds.

You have half the mind to join them. That is until some men start badgering Miss Hunter. And, strangely, you’re thankful for it. They’re a welcome distraction.

You quickly place yourself between the men and Miss Hunter, shielding her from their eyes and their grabby hands. However, you don’t get even a word out of your mouth before a familiar voice interrupts.

“Her schedule’s full.”

Sylus comes up behind the men. They scatter upon his arrival. Their departure allows you to get a good look at your boss. He looks pissed.

Arms crossed tightly against his chest and scowl evident on his face, he watches the men leave you all in disgust. He looks like an animal ready to pounce. The dragon in him is bubbling to the surface, appalled and enraged someone dared to get so close to his treasure.

Will he be that way with me in future? Or is he already that way, raging at the mere idea of me being near his soulmate?

You speak because any more thoughts like that, and you might begin to cry.

“That was quick."

Sylus' expression relaxes upon hearing your voice, “You know how I detest wasting my time on boring things. The meeting was predictably that, so I wanted to speed things up.”

“You sure that’s not because you were worried?”

You say the words in jest, but part of you truly hopes he was worried. Not for you, but for her. For his soulmate. For his destined love. For his sorceress and the only woman worthy of him. Because if that’s the case, well… you have all the more reason to leave.

You can justify that voice in your head that screams at you to run if he cares for her. If he cares for her more than you, that is.

“Worried about what, sweetie? You can handle yourself just fine. And I know a little extra baggage won’t hinder you.”

Miss Hunter, for some odd reason, doesn’t comment on his obvious dig. You give her a look. She looks away, almost like she’s embarrassed.

There’s something going on between them again.

You brush it off. Last time you got involved in their drama, it didn’t end well for you. No use in you sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong.

Because of how lost in your thoughts you are, you almost don’t hear Sylus’ next words, “Care to dance?”

You don’t look at him because you expect his hand to be stretched out to Miss Hunter. You do look at her again because she’d need someone to hold her bunch of protocores. But she just gestures her head at Sylus, and you turn to him in confusion.

Sylus hand extends to you . Not his soulmate that carries a mound of protocores.

You hesitate. But something in his eyes compels you to take his hand, so you do so in the next moment. Sylus gives you a precious look as he whisks you away. Miss Hunter gives you a small thumbs up, and you don’t know how you feel about that.

Sylus and you easily fall into a rhythm with one another. Years and years of familiarity shadows all your earlier turmoil. You can just embrace his touch, his scent, and his care with no reservations. Each step to the music, choreographed but comforting.

Sylus leans in to whisper in your ear, “Sherman has been taken care of, Gamayun.”

That brings a smile to your face. A sick, twisted, and evil smile that you tend not to show. But Sherman had it coming.

He betrayed you. He hurt Miss Hunter and took her family from her. He got himself into this mess. And you only wished you’ve could’ve been there to rip out his soulmate thread, one attached to a woman who was long gone.

“Good. You better not have been quick about his punishment. Otherwise, I’m going to have to drag him out of his grave.”

Sylus spins you, and pulls you close for a moment.

“So aggressive.”

“I’m taking your advice: anything I don’t consider is filed under “never heard of it”, and I definitely don’t consider myself aggressive.”

He releases you and you step back.

“Then what do you consider this?”

“My bleeding heart acting up again.”

The two of you step into the back and forth dance again, box steps and making circles around the dance floor.

“Your bleeding heart gets you into far too much trouble.”

“Better than the trouble your loose lips gets us both in.”

“And what trouble are you referring to, exactly?”

“Kai,” you begin to list off. “That old records dealer in Siberia. That one arms dealer in Canada. James.”

Sylus’ face makes a strange expression at James’ name.

“Still hung up on that man?”

“That man,” you tease, speaking directly into Sylus’ ear when you get closer. “Would’ve been quite a help to our business.”

“You sure your interest in him isn’t personal?”

If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he sounded jealous. But a quick glance behind him at Miss Hunter, protocores taken away by some of Onychinus men, gets you to give up that idea.

Why would he be jealous when he has her?

“Guess we’ll never know,” is all you can get out.

You and Sylus dance in silence for a bit longer, a beautiful display of your synergy. You keep looking for Miss Hunter at any given opportunity. Her presence reminds you of your place. She reminds you that despite the inherent intimacy of this dance, you will never get more.

You’ll never get what you truly want.

“You see, this is why I worry whenever your bleeding heart acts up,” Sylus suddenly says.

“Why?”

Your voice sounds airy. You cringe at the sound, hoping Sylus doesn't notice how it wavers.

What is wrong with me?

“Because despite me being right in front of you, your eyes are focused on her.”

You feel so hot. Your head is in such a fog.

“And you care about that because…”

Sylus pulls you in close, closer than any other previous time. You two no longer dance, and his arm is tightly wound around your waist.

When he begins to lean in, your heart pounds and your stomach flutters. It's a thumping bass that drowns out all other conversations and music around you. All you can hear is your heart. All you can smell is his cologne.

All you can see is him.

Warmth flutters and circulates through your body. A warm that whispers comfort and safety. A warmth that draws you into Sylus just as he draws into you.

This warmth calls to you. Beckons you. It smuthers all the guilt, denial, and determination to stay the course.

It says, kiss him, kis him.

“Don’t you know by now that I adore you?” He mutters into your ear.

The two of you just stare at one another. The world stops dead in its tracks. Because did he really just say that? With his sultry voice that glides over your ears and sends shivers down your spine and makes your legs tremble and causes you to be so very weak? With a softness in his eyes you’ve never before in your life?

No. I’ve seen it somewhere.

It’s how Kai looked at Alex and vice versa. It’s how James would look when he talked about his lost love. It’s how so many soulmates would look at their other half.

But, that couldn’t be true, could it?

Your eyes are deceiving you. Because Sylus is leaning in closer to you. His scent becomes stronger and your body become warmer. You don’t care about anything else around you. All that matters is him and you and your pounding heart.

It’s like you’re waiting for something, studying him to be prepared for what it is. You’re still, as if any movement will scare him off or make him change his mind about whatever he's about to do.

And, for a moment, you swear you see him glance at your lips. You stop yourself from breathing. You, stupidly, lean into him.

Your brain screams at you to stop. Your heart sings for you to move faster, to get what you've wanted for so long. You listen to your heart.

You cup Sylus' cheeks. You tilt your head to the side. And that heart of yours—that foolish, foolish muscle—is so very loud that it consumes all your senses.

All you feel is your heart. All you see is your heart. All you taste is your heart.

What would Sylus taste like?

The thought is indecent. It's a fantasy. It's a trap. It's something you should never want, never think about, never wonder about.

But it's the siren song that pulls you in. It's what makes you tenderly glide your tongue against your lips as Sylus draws you closer.

That seems to break Sylus out of whatever trance he’s in, and his hand leaves your waist. You drop your hands from his cheeks when he does.

And just like that, the warmth in you is sucked away, as if his hands were the supplier of it. Your heart still envelopes you, consumes you. But no longer do you think about the taste of Sylus.

You perse your lips together, your mind conjuring the image of something else pressing against them. You blink several times, still in awe at all that did—and didn't—happen.

Am I… disappointed?

That’s ridiculous. You knew from the moment you fell for Sylus nothing would ever happen between the two you. You knew that, and you told yourself that everyday when your urge to kiss him or cuddle him especially close or flirt with him became too much.

To distract yourself, you ask, “How long until the bombs go off?”

Sylus doesn't seem affected by the strange atmosphere that was between you two. He gives you that familiar arrogant and confident smile.

But there's a glimmer in his eye. A glimmer that tells you so much and so little. You don't dare look at his thread in case there's more confusion there.

“Why do you assume I’m doing that, Gamayun?”

Because, unfortunately, I know you all too well.

“Because it’s you, Sylus. Now, when do they go off? I need to warn Miss Hunter.”

A sudden explosion is the last thing she needs. You couldn't bare to see her buckle under the weight of such panic, of such grief and pain.

Miss Hunter hides her grief well. But, it peaks out occasionally. Sometimes when she laughs just a bit too much. Other times when she looks at Sylus, for some reason.

Her suffering is palpable to everyone at the base. You've all collectively decided to pretend you don't see it and let her shield her fragile heart.

Because, otherwise... she'll shatter. She'll shatter and break and fall apart into so many pieces that not even expert crafters like you and Sylus could put her back together.

And no matter how her existence breaks your heart, you could never—will never—wish such a thing on her. No for any reason. Not even if she begins to hate you. Not even if she turns you in to the Hunter's Association.

And certainly not even when she ineviably takes away the man you love for good.

Sylus' response brings you out of your spiral, “I’ll come tell you when it’s time.”

He brings you close one last time, pressing a kiss on your forehead and murmuring, “I do love that heart of yours.”

You speed walk away. Body and mind in turmoil. Frustration. Embarrasment. Hope.

You can't control yourself. It feels odd, considering how composed you normally are. Control is everything to you. Control is literally your job and your life.

Right now, you're anything but that. You're flustered from head to toe, still feeling the ghost of Sylus' lips on your ear and forehead. You have to actively stop yourself from touching those places.

His lips were so soft. Softer than you ever imagined on those rare days you let yourself indulge in the fantasy of a future with him. How much softer would they have been against your own? Would he kiss you gently with those lips?

Or would he be rough, possessive? Like he's trying to claim your lips as your own?

You feel hot all over again just imagining it: his arm on your waist becoming tighter, his other hand gripping the back of your head, his hot breath against your lips when he dives in for more...

You want to scream at your own vivid fantacies. Thoughts and images so vivid, you can almost feel them.

His arm around you, muscles tensing on your hips as he tries to pull you impossibly closer to him.

His hand on your back, fingers spread wide and holding you in place, but featherlight as to not hurt you.

His other hand on the back of your head, making sure he's getting the perfect angle to kiss you.

His lips on yours, trying to mold them to his. Tongue in your mouth, eyes with blown pupils on you when he backs up for air, and whispered sweet nothings that only you can hear that spill out for a moment before he dives in for more.

For more of you.

What the devil is wrong with me?

Your walk to Miss Hunter feels like an eternity with the company of your delusions.

The moment you’re by Miss Hunter’s side, your embarrassment multiples. You were just fantisizing about her soulmate, her other half, and the man she will one day marry.

She wears a shit-eating grin.

“Sooo, what was that about?”

“What was what about?” You attempt to deflect.

“Don’t give me that,” she rolls her eyes at you. “I may not be as smart as you, but I do have eyes.”

“Don’t insult yourself like that,” your defense of her comes out before you can really think about it.

“You’re dodging the issue.”

She turns to face the dance floor. Or, rather, where Sylus stands near it. Just the sight of him makes you feel all warm and fuzzy again.

”Don’t you know by now that I adore you?”

”I do love that heart of yours.”

And just like that, you’re flustered again.

“Dance with me,” you blurt out, escaping from Sylus’ line of sight and dragging Miss Hunter behind you.

Miss Hunter giggles, grin still on her face. You can practically hear the teasing questions and words that beg to fall off her lips.

Is this what it’s like to have friends?

Your social life took a dive years ago, far before you met Sylus. After your best friends in high school ditched you for each and their new love, reaching out for companionship was… hard, to say the least.

Kai and Alex filled that void for some time. The three of you stopped talking about a year ago for some reason. Kai’s been very quiet in the “business” world since then. And Alex has always preferred to stay out of the spotlight, so you didn’t worry much when they dropped off the grid.

They were, and still are, probably two of your closest friends. People who get not only the lighter side of you—the one with a bleeding heart—but the dark side, the lonely one with a cynical out look on love.

But, as much as you love them, they are anything except normal. Kai’s killed more people than anyone you’ve ever met. Alex prefers the call of nature to the voices of humans. They both carry pains you couldn’t even begin to understand.

You love them. You love Sylus. You love the twins. But, you need some reprieve from your bloodstained world.

Miss Hunter appears to be the key to that. Someone who reminds you of the good in the world, rather than the bad parts you’re determined to destroy. Someone who reminds you of that innocent little girl you once were before you got your powers (ironic, given that she’s more or less a symbol of everything your powers have taken from you).

She’s a kind and gentle soul, one who hasn’t been stained by the world and still believes in good. She reminds you of Alex.

But unlike Alex, Miss Hunter is fierce. Unwavering. And because of that, you couldn’t ask for a better soulmate for the love of your life.

Imagining her and Sylus together still hurts. It still claws into your heart and shreds it without mercy. But, in a little corner of your heart, there’s joy. There’s happiness for your new friend and the man you love.

Because no one else could make each other as happy as the other will. You’ve seen it time and time again.

As for her other soulmates… well, they aren’t your problem. You’ll deal with that problem too once you come to it.

“Still thinking about your boss?” Miss Hunter pipes up, her tone teasing and lighter than you’ve ever heard it.

Yes.

You still feel his touch, phantom imprints. You still want more of his touch, the ghost of his taste still on your tongue. You want more and more and more.

But you will never have it. You need to remember that. All you'll ever have is the dreams and nightmares of that with Sylus.

And your dreams are meant to be crushed. They're meant to be broken beyond repair. Why should someone deemed by the universe unfit for love be able to dream?

Why should they be able to wish, to wonder?

Why am I allowed to live?

“What ever are you talking about?”

Stepping into your usual role is all you can do to make the thoughts stop.

“Seriously? You’re pretending not to know again?”

No. I just don't want to know. I don't want to remember my mistakes and my errors and my stupidity, and my—

“Why don’t just spit it out?” You quip back with a smile.

“Fine,” she huffs as you twirl her. “You and Sylus—well, mostly Sylus—it’s obvious you're in love.”

“You’re still on about that?”

You thought you cleared this up earlier. Your stomach twists at the thought. Having Sylus’ soulmate believe the two of you are in love, and not just extremely close is a problem. A huge problem.

“And you’re still in denial about that? I mean, come on! He looked like he was going to kiss you. I had my imaginary popcorn out and everything!”

“You’re ridiculous,” she giggles as you pull her close. “Preposterous. Delusional.”

“I know what you are, but what am I?” You roll your eyes at her.

“His friend and employee. Not his soulmate.”

The word “soulmate” causes a shadow to fall over her eyes.

“How… are you so sure?”

You want to laugh.

Because I can see it. I see how your souls are tied together. I see how he’ll love you and only you through every lifetime. I see how I’m merely a footnote in your love story.

You, of course say none of that, and can only say, “I just do.”

The cheery and playful atmosphere dissipates between the two of you. You stop dancing and you guide her away from the dance floor to somewhere more hidden. You don’t know what to say.

The airy and warm feeling you had early is gone, sapped away by your own stupid words and your own stupid love. Why, oh why, did you have to do this to yourself?

Maybe part of you loves the pain of a broke heart?

The tap on your shoulder comes as a welcomed distraction.

“60 seconds,” is all his whispers in your ear before he goes off to talk to other people.

For once, you’re grateful for Sylus’ tendency to do big shows of power. The ensuing chaos and combat will keep your mind occupied.

“What was that?” Miss Hunter inquires, tilting her head at you.

“A heads up I requested,” her expression pushes you to answer further. “Sylus has a flare for dramatics. And those dramatics tend to involve explosions.”

You continue in a much gentler tone, “I know an explosion took your family. Springing one on you isn’t very polite, so I asked Sylus to give me a heads up.”

Miss Hunter trembles. You hold her close.

“Thank you,” she whispers, trying to sound brave.

“No need,” you check your phone for the time. “We have about 30 seconds. Ready?”

“Does it matter if I’m not?”

You sigh. “I suppose not.”

The seconds tick down. Miss Hunter’s breath is shaky. You feel her heart pound in her chest. You squeeze her even closer to you. You count each breath, and remind her to stay calm.

Then, it comes. Multiple explosions rock the building. People scream. Some are crushed, while others die in a blaze. Others still are picked off by the twins or Sylus himself.

You don’t focus on them. You focus on keeping Miss Hunter shielded and calm. Her heartbeat is out of control, so you mess with her threads a bit. Just small nudges to keep her tranquil, to remind of her of better times.

The whole thing is done in an instant. Sylus casually walks over to check on her.

“You alright, sweetie?”

“She will be. Give her time,” you snap.

Sylus laughs, sticking his thumbs into his pockets, “I meant you, silly.”

He takes a hand out to flick your forehead when he says the stupid nickname.

“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

You brush him off because today has been just a bit too much. Your hear has always been weak to Sylus, but you've never had such real... material in your mind.

You've never thought of how he would kiss you. You've never thought about how he would touch you in throes of such intimacy. You've never let your thoughts get so far.

But that look in his eyes when you two danced. That look he gave you before you went to Miss Hunter... it gives you ideas. Foolish, unrealistic, and dangerous ideas.

“Because I seem to recall you prioritizing helping our guest over your own safety.”

He leans over Miss Hunter who was still buried in your arms, and tilts your head so that he could get a better look.

“Look, your face is bleeding.”

His touch makes you feel hot all over again. It gets worse when you remember how it made your imagination run wild.

You can almost pretend you're somewhere else. Somewhere private. Somewhere where this simple touch on the chin to look at your cuts and bruises could become something else.

Your knees almost buckle. But you hold it together.

“Minor cuts, you fool. I’ve had worse.”

“And that makes that better because…?”

“…Shut your mouth.”

“Or else what? You’ll shut it for me?”

You flush at the implications. Sylus’ smirk tells you that he meant it in the way you’re thinking of. Your heart rate picks up again. You’re warm all over. And there’s this sense of… anticipation and hunger as you stare at one another.

That warmth is back. It begs to take a chance, a leap of faith. It screams at you to just grab his neck and finally have what you've craved for so long.

“Could you please not flirt so close to me?” Miss Hunter mumbles.

You almost scream. But the crushing guilt keeps you silent. Her words remind you of your place, of the line you've been treading far too close to.

You step back from Sylus. Miss Hunter is no longer buried in you, so she doesn't follow.

You ignore her question because you have no way of really responding, “How are you holding up?”

“Fine,” she grumbles. “Let’s finish this.”

You guide her to the rooftop, glancing at Sylus to be sure he follows. He shakes his head.

“I’ll clean up here. You go.”

“I seem to recall that she’s your guest.”

He shrugs, “she likes you more.”

You splutter. Then, you let yourself hug him and whisper in his ear, "Be safe, Morana."

You follow Miss Hunter up to the rooftop as quick as you can. The sharp winds in your face make the burn of emotions dampen down. That, and the giant Wanderer that roars above.

“Stay back!” She yells over the racket, shooting at the foe. “You don’t have an Evol, right?! It’s dangerous!”

“Ever the diligent Hunter, protecting civilian, eh?”

“Now’s not the time for jokes!”

“The only joke here is that you think me,, of all people, need protection!”

The fight against the Wanderer is short. After all, Wanderers were once people. They had souls and threads for you to mess with. So you help her, weaving threads and shooting after she handed you one of her guns.

You hand it back as you walk to the pedestal that held the Aether Core, beckoning her to that the power that belongs to her. And you watch her threads react.

You never really paid attention to Miss Hunter’s Aether Core, not when they were more pressing issues at hand. None of this issues exist now in this moment.

Now, you can. Her glitching threads that emerge from it. The strange energy that flows from it, an energy that seems to call to you. It tries to drag you in, to swallow you.

You don’t know why.

And when the energy from the new core begins to leak out into her, the very universe shifts around you.

You hear her heartbeats, and your own heart seems to sync with it. Thump. Thump. Thump. A resonate of sounds that are so familiar yet so foreign.

And underneath those thumps, there’s a hum. A song. A whisper of melody you’ve never heard before and can’t describe despite how it echoes in your brain.

It’s beautiful.

The sound is like home. Like a gentle kiss from your mother or the safe embrace of your father. Like the boisterous laugh of the twins or the comfortable touch of Sylus.

It brings a tear to your eye. With that tear comes visuals. Planets. Stars. Galaxies. They all lay over your eyes and block the vision of Miss Hunter taking the power of the new Aether Core.

So, so beautiful.

You think you can stay here forever, basking in that wonderful melody and the sights that it brings. But the moment the energy flow into Miss Hunter stops, it ends. A blip in time. A small moment of absolute peace.

Quickly wiping your face before she turns around, you snap out your trance. There’s things to be done, after all.

You do all the things needed to be done: help Sylus and the twins clean up, settle Miss Hunter, and escort her out of the N109 Zone.

“You should come visit me,” she says, bright smile on her face.

“Maybe I will…”

After all, what better fresh start is there than the city of the woman who drove me out? You take my place at Sylus’ side… maybe I’ll take yours in the Hunter Association.

It’ll be a sick, twisted, heartbroken exchange. One not equivalent in the slightest. For how can you compare a woman loved by many to one loved by none?

Author's Note: Also, please go to the original blurb to ask to be added to the taglist (it's impossible for me to keep checking every part every time I update).

2nd Author's Note: How long is too long for a chapter?

Taglist: @eolivy, @rafayelridesfisheatsfish, @animegamerfox, @jasperjokester, @schrodingerskimdokja, @just--crys, @snowdynasty, @shi-thats-kiera, @mansonofmadness, @dwuclvr, @ameilli, @katiedoesstuff101, @everythingistaken00, @napa-the-yappa, @hanaluxx, @lovesick-sylus, @tenaciouszombiewombat, @ladyparamount, @applepi405, @midnight-reverie, @69-gojos-wife-69, @bellagrayson-wayne, @phisen, @idkmanimjusthorny, @munchychuusy, @autumn2534, @poptrim, @sillyfreakfanparty, @zaynesfirefly, @flamedancer13, @thissmartdumbass, @mrsllawliet, @jeondyy, @ssetsuka, @dels-page, @that-lost-one, @johnnysactualgf, @mariquitas-en-verano, @toelady, @sinnamon-bunn, @yesbiaswrecked, @doggyteam2028, @little-rays-of-darkness, @albatrossblue, @vyntheria, @silverianni, @browneyedgirl22, @tiklestar, @beaconsxd, @pepperushia

[gracie-eilish]

roommate!billie au [actual pt 4]

roommate billie masterlist

warnings: mention of being drunk/potentially getting sick. this part is lowkey long again

no smut, bc these two lovebirds are still teenagers and that makes me uncomfy to write.

an: this is the most fun i’ve had writing a fic/series in so long🥹 thank you for all the love and encouragement, makes me so giddy🤭

song included in fic:

roommate!billie, who always helped shovel our your car once she was done with her own.

roommate!billie, who also scraped all the ice from your windows for you, while you sat warm and cozy in the drivers seat waiting for her.

roommate!billie, who had completely ditched her flirty, party girl persona since her birthday. opting now for an arm around your waist, and a soft smile, watching you adoringly.

roommate!billie, who noticed you slowly gravitating towards her more physically. more than before.. but she still remained respectful knowing you were still figuring things out.

roommate!you, who started grabbing billie’s hand when a guy would flirt with you at a party.

roommate!you, who would tipsily hold billie from behind, resting your cheek between her shoulder blades, while billie chatted with friends at a party.

roommate!billie, who would grab your hands on her tummy, a silent reminder that she’s still here with you.

“no that’s what i said too!! like who the fuck grades a paper like that?! who am i, emily dickinson?? no fucker!!” billie and her friend from class cackled, both venting playfully about a crazy paper they had due last week.

you stood nearby, having a convo of your own with a friend, bidding them goodnight before making your way over to your roommate. it was starting to get late and you were feeling the alcohol, but you didn’t want to rush her.

without startling her, you walked up behind her, snaking your arms around her waist, resting your head between her shoulder blades, letting your eyes flutter closed. her perfume filled your senses like a sleeping potion, making you feel warm and fuzzy and safe.

you felt billie grab your hands softly, just resting overtop of your own, softly rubbing her thumb down the side of your wrist. she continued her conversation without a beat, now a little flushed, but mainly enjoying your company.

“omg wait im so sorry to interrupt, it’s tyler!!!” her friend squealed, showing billie the caller id of her longtime english class crush.

“GIRL!! go get your mans!!! i’ll see you on monday!! tell me everything!” she waved her friend towards the door, where she giddily answered the phone before stepping outside. billie then turned her attention to you.

“hi sleepy girl, you tired?” she cooed at your melty presence, a mixture of drowsiness and tipsy energy.

you just nodded on her back, making her giggle a bit, her cheeks flushing at the close contact.

“we can go soon if you want, can go right now really.”

“wanna go home,” you slurred, not whining or pouting, just sleepy. billie smiled, bringing a hand to her lips, kissing your knuckles.

“lemme call an uber and then we can go, okay baby?”

roommate!billie, who held you in her arms that night in her bed; a post party ritual you both started this semester, and neither of you minded one bit.

roommate!billie, who stayed awake for a while, making sure you were truly asleep… and didn’t need to yack or something.

roommate!billie, who never rushed you out of her bed. sometimes leaving early to go to the gym before it got busy… heart fluttering seeing you still cozy and tucked in when she got back.

roommate!billie, who watched you like you hung the moon, as you drove the two of you to the meal hall for whatever was left of breakfast on saturday mornings. hair thrown in a messy claw clip, glasses on, only changing your sweats so you didn’t smell like sweat and sleep.

“here bub,” she bumped your hip, pulling you from your daze while you waited for the nice cooks to make your waffle.

“hm?” you looked up at her, then down at her hand, holding a chocolate chip muffin.

“it was the last one, grabbed it for you.” she placed it down onto a napkin on your tray, before making her way over to the little fruit/yogurt station. you looked down at the muffin and blushed a little bit, completely distracted, until the cook yelled “plain waffle!” for about the fifth time in your direction, trying to find whoever ordered it.

you apologized and grabbed the plate from them, before heading over to grab a drink… a sheepish smile on your face.

roommate!billie, who convinced you to stop at the dollar store so you two could pick up your valentines decorations. after all, the fake tree on her desk was collecting dust, and the snowflakes hanging from your fairy lights were starting to fall down.

roommate!billie, who rounded the corner of an aisle to come show you something when she found you looking at all the little faux wood signs that you can hang up. they were all different valentines pride colors and sayings. she hid around the corner, watching you look at all the different color combinations. you grabbed a pink, blue, and purple one. then swapped it for a pink, blue, and yellow one. you went to grab the pink, orange, and purple one when someone turned the opposite corner, excusing themselves to see something behind you. you moved to look at the other valentines signs in the display next to the pride ones.

roommate!billie, who peeped the cute little muted pastel classic rainbow in your basket, with some cheesy love is love saying on it.

roommate!billie, who insisted on putting on some cheesy, lovey dovey playlist while you two swapped the winter decor for the valentines later that night.

the opening bars of “true” by spandau ballet, floated out of billie’s speaker sitting on her desk. you were stringing a line of heart shaped twinkle lights across your window, when you felt two cheeky hands on your hips. you clicked the line in place quickly, before turning around seeing billie with a teasing smirk on her face, moving her hips softly to the beat.

her hands moved a bit on your sides, and she wiggled her eyebrows at you, making you snort you were laughing is hard.

“c’mon baby, dance with me,” she purred. and who were you to deny her. good things always came from dancing with billie.

the two of you giggled through dramatic spins, and dips, and holding each other close. neither of you knew the words to any part of the song except for the intro, that thankfully repeated a few times.

eventually you two just swayed together, your head on her shoulder, holding each other close.

scared shitless, billie used her free hand to tilt your head up, fingers under your chin. you two searched each others eyes for bit, the warm twinkles lights reflecting in them like little sparkles. the lyrics had begun to repeat, and the song started to slowly fade to its end but neither of you noticed.

you let your hand leave billie’s shoulder, pushing some stray hair behind her ear. before either of you could stop yourselves, you were kissing.

roommate!billie, who finally took you out on a date that next weekend. nothing overly expensive, but it was definitely not the applebees one of your exes took you took last fall. [an: no hate to applebees, fucking love that place]

roommate!billie, who pulled out all the stops. pretending to “pick you up at 8”, knocking at your (shared) dorm door, standing outside with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, complimenting your outfit, holding your hand, opening doors and pushing out chairs

roommate!billie, who let you hang on her arm while you two walked around downtown, window shopping, enjoying a clear night.

roommate!billie, who insisted you two get some cocoa or coffee or something before going home.

the little coffee shop was walk up style, with a cute little patio set up right in front. tables and chairs, and a few little benches. there were cute little fire pits and space heaters littered around the patio, keeping it as warm as it could be.

you sat people watching for a moment while billie brought back two steaming cups of cocoa. you scooted over a bit making room for her while she handed you your cup.

“you warm enough?” her voice was soft and caring.

“perfect,” you replied with a dreamy smile. billie leaned over and kissed your cheek. when she pulled back, she held her cup out to you to ‘cheers’ before you both took a sip. the warm liquid dribbled down, warming your body up. however that didn’t stop you from snuggling into billie’s side, resting your head on her shoulder.

roommate!billie, who spoiled you rotten now that you two had been on a few dates. changing out the flowers on your windowsill so they were always fresh, getting your favorite snacks whenever she stopped at the store, cute little trinkets that made her think of you, and of course you were spoiledddd with kisses and cuddles… and never sleeping alone in your bed.

roommate!billie, who held you close every night regardless of how you two slept. she loved being the big spoon, and would never admit she loved being the little spoon more. she slept better when you had your head on her chest, the weight of your body relaxing her.

roommate!you, who had secret plans for valentine’s day. you were terrified, but you were ready.

you had sent some of your mutual friends on a mission to keep her distracted all day so you could plan. they went to the gym, then starbucks to work on some homework, a usual saturday routine. but she missed you, especially being such a lovey dovey day.

after some crappy meal hall dinner, the girls finally dropped billie off at your dorm building, giddy with excitement about what was to happen when billie got upstairs.

your heart sped up when you heard billie’s key in the door, smoothing out your hair and dress one last time before billie walked in. her jaw dropped.

the room was bathed in a soft pink light from your little sunset lamp, there were rose petals on the floor, and a gift basket stuffed to the brim sitting on billie’s bed. most importantly, there was a boxed cake sitting in your hands. the clear top reflecting the light a bit.

“happy valentine’s day, bub.” your voice was shaky, but soft as you smiled at the girl walking towards you.

“happy valentine’s day, to you too. did you.. did you do all this for me?” she slowly set her bag down and started to remove her jacket. you nodded sheepishly.

“i got you um.. i got you a cake, it’s vegan everything!” you lifted the cake a tiny bit so she could come look at it. expecting the frills of roses and some cheesy love saying on it- but no.

you held your breath, watching her face shift from genuine intrigue, to surprise and adoration.

“will you be my girlfriend?” was piped onto the cake, surrounded by yes, roses and other icing flowers but who cares about the damn flowers.

billie looked up at you with wide, sparkly, glossy eyes, before she nodded softly, her smile growing.

“baby,” she started, her brows furrowing in awe. “yeah, baby. yes of course.”

you let out the breath you were holding before practically squealing. quickly billie took the cake from your hands placing it on your desk before it got dropped.

“c’mere,” she engulfed you in a tight hug, kissing your cheek on the way.

“so, does this mean you’re.. are you..” she started, not wanting to push something onto you.

“i like girls. and maybe i still like guys, i have no clue.” billie nodded in validation and pride for her best friend making this next step. “all i know is that i like you. like, i really, really like you. i’ve liked you since i fell asleep on you after talking about my first kiss on halloween, and i liked you even more when jack told me you had told him all about how i wanted my first kiss to go. and god don’t even get me started on how down bad i’ve been since you kissed me on your birthday billie eilish,” billie shuddered, billie eilish is the name she had been tinkering with as her professional name for the music industry, that only you know about. “i’m falling so hard for you.” you added with a whisper, before she finally closed the gap with a kiss.

a kiss so perfect, early 2000’s rom coms called and wanted their tropes back.

“thank fucking god,” billie let out making you giggle. “finneas is like, one story away from sewing my mouth shut so i don’t talk about you anymore.”

“really? you.. you talk about me at home?” your eyes grew wide and your smile sheepish.

“baby… you think halloween was a long time ago?? i had butterflies the whole time you explained why blue light is bad for sleep but red is too aggressive for you so that’s why you use purple. yeah i fucking talk about you at home. i am so down bad for you, baby.”

your face flushed, “i love it when you call me that,”

“what, ‘baby’??” you nodded giddily.

“well then good thing you’re my baby now.”

[beastyeastfreak]

Please Write Beast Headcanons about there reaction to reader getting hit on/flirted with by another cookie!!!! I will pay your child support to the anon you had a kid with!!!

THATS NOT MY KID IM NOT THE FATHER/MOTHER

Cw and tags: possessiveness, implied murder, romantic, GN! Reader, reader is referred to as pretty/beautiful/etc i use these words in a gender neutral way or am trying to, the beasts love to spoil you, mention of cheating, reader does not gaf about the beasts behaviour/encourages it

Written pre silent salt update

Mystic flour

🌾 - You dont leave the ivory pagoda much, if you do she does not linger far. You’re given a reputation pretty quick, your title will proceed you soon. “Her second set of ears” or “one who cannot be spoken too”. You lose a few friends, you get the memo likely before anything romantic happens she doesn’t want anything happening to you or anyone speaking to you. You were her wish, her one desire, her exception. She would be apathetic but not for you, you were her blessing. Someone she had unknowingly yearned for for thousands of years. You were someone she wouldn’t tolerate leaving, witches know what would happen if someone took you from her.

🌾 - Some cookies don’t think very well, Mystic flour know that well, one day the two of you head to a kingdom together to pick some items up. It got boring in the pagoda with little to do, she understood that and often brought you out to find things that would interest you and keep you with her, not that you needed material possession to spend time with her. It was a quiet day there which was the only reason she would let you go, she hated crowds. Your attention had diverted to a different stand, the stand owner watched you as you looked at their wares.

🌾 - “Whats a pretty cookie like you doing in this part of town?” You tense up, not at the flirt but because you knew what she’d do if she heard. “Um.. you really shouldn’t be talking to me like that,” you warned, your stance stiffened and you leaned away from the items. But they persisted in spite of the warning, “what? Scared of me? I don’t bite, unless you..” they’re cut off as the beast joins you. As she enters, all the perishable items on the desk seem to wilt and die. Her presence is strong, it shifts the air. You fluster as she enters the conversation. Making who you belong to crystal clear with her hand placement. One hand on your hip the other on your shoulder, also showing off her sharp nails unintentionally, as she speaks in an almost eerie way.

🌾 - “I found what we are looking for,” she opens her eyes and side glances at the stand owner now in shock. “It was not here,” she says quietly anf you swear you see her sharp fangs poking out. She then turns back, taking your arm and walking away. This is tame for her, this experience is the tamest of the others you endure beforehand. Many cookies have been turned to flour on a dime for speaking to you wrong, you were the one who convinced her to show mercy.

🌾 - When you return she will say nothing of the experience but if you praise her for ‘saving’ you she wont deny you. She’ll definitely keep you closer next time you both go out in public.

Burning Spice

🏜️ - Ive said this in previous headcannons, Burning spice sees any threat towards you as disrespectful towards him. You are apart of his temple, you were the gods lover, you were his. Anyone who so much as looks at you wrong, doesn’t greet you with the same reverence as him is ensured they understand or crumbled. Hell, he’d probably fight another beast or powerful being for you. Feel honoured, try to ignore the potential jamshed, make yourself a walking warning if you’re concerned with someones life.

🏜️ - Burning Spice is confident in his abilities and your loyalty to him. He allows you to go pretty far on your own or accompanied by one of his trusted spice soldiers. If you ever run away, trust that you will be hunted down, thats the second reason he’s so lax with you.

🏜️ - Warnings are as easily regarded as they are taken, you experienced this first hand one time. He decides to spoil you, he takes you on some lavish trip in a far away land. Adorning you in smooth fabrics, eating the sweetest fruits and jellys, napping on the beach in the sun. You head back towards the nearby building with the food at some point while he sunbathes. He’s too sleepy to tell you to ask a servant to fetch it for you.

🏜️ - You head in, another guest seems to be ensnared by you, or rather all the expensive metals, jewels and robes you were bestowed with. You probably looked like royalty, or (ironically enough) someone fresh out of Golden Cheese’s vault. So while you were picking out what you wanted and what you think he’d like at a somewhat leisurely pace the stranger approached. “Ah, what amazing handiwork on your garments, befitting of a beauty such as yourself,” that stranger purrs. You squint then look away, “um, thanks.” You try to seem as extremely disinterested as you were, maybe try to make some part of your attire bearing his symbol more visible.

🏜️ - Your attempts were in vain, even saying “Im from the Spice Kingdom, i live in The Great Destroyers temple in fact,” did not make them go away. They just thought you more interesting, you even warned them. “My husband is with me, he wont like you acting like this.” You say on the way back, to your dismay they follow. “Oh please, dont we all need to have a little away time? Besides you don’t need him, i am the…” followed by a long list of stupid titles you doubted actually impressed anyone. You then get back, where Burning spice was stretching, he locks eyes with you from afar, then the cookie trying to woo you and his face contorts to anger. Then the cookie looks a little nervous.

🏜️ - “Who is that..?” The cookie murmurs, nearly stammering. “My husband, The Great Destroyer?” You roll your eyes, “well go on, you said you could take him so go fight for my love.“ You say, Burning Spice is already walking over, weaponless yet still menacing, you look back at the cookie and they’re running. You catch Burning Spice, stopping him. “Don’t get jam and crumbs on your nice clothes.” You say and let him loose. He comes back later, laughing and all washed off. Whatever happened after that is chalked up to “some cookies just cant keep their eyes off whats mine!” He’ll say while pulling you impossibly close chugging the umpteenth glass of juice.

Eternal Sugar

🌷 - She was your happiness and you were hers, never would you part with her and always would she be beside you… even if you didn’t realise it. You were made off limits the second her eyes had caught a glimpse of you. When you became hers, she flaunts you, spoils you, adores you and you do the same. Your time is no longer spent working or stressing, you’re mostly at her side or in her lap. You could say you haven’t left her side for weeks and that’d be an understatement. No one in the garden would ever question nor attempt to get in between you too, lest they face the possibility of being entrapped in a jar or a statue.

🌷 - The only catch is you’ll never leave, any time you ask to go with her somewhere or you hear about something interesting going on. She’ll gently guide you elsewhere, “oh, but sweetness, the population there is so unpredictable. You’re like a thin string of sugar floss~, how about we do this instead?” She’d say if you tried to go, she’s good at it too because how can you say no to those eyes?

🌷 - Well, one time you were adamant about leaving, except you wanted her to come with you. There was some festival and you had been raving about it all week. It made you happy, and you wanted her to be happy with you, so she silently left, both of you in disguise, but told no one. It was as great as what you were told and even better with her! Your excitement was infectious and distracted her from wanting to go back to the garden.

🌷 - You separate only for a moment and unfortunately it all goes off the rails. You’re standing waiting for Eternal Sugar to return with drinks listening to the nearby festivities when a cookie comes up to you. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” This cookie grins says referring to the small wings tucked against your back. Appalled, you cringe. “Um…” you barely speak before arms slither around your waist and you’re pulled close. “There you are, my beloved,” Eternal Sugar says. You doubt her eyes ever left you. She was keeping you close in a way you knew you wouldn’t be staying at the festival much longer.

🌷 - “I got our food and.. oh! Who’s your friend?” She says in a way that drips jealousy, leaning her head against yours. One of her massive wings coming behind you, the other cookie is now looking around, giving an excuse about their friends and leaving. She watches them go then kisses your cheek. “I told you this would happen, what if it was someone worse who wanted to take you?~” she’ll tilt your head towards her, “can we go back to the garden? I’m feeling tired..” she’ll lie.

🌷 - You’ll notice that she’ll somehow be more affectionate with you for the time afterwards, don’t expect to leave for a very long time after that encounter.

Shadow Milk

🃏 - You were many things thanks to Shadow Milk, above every title he’s given you and every role he’s put you in, you were his lover. His lover. Though he would never show it, he kept you more protected than you know. You don’t see it but at all times there are puppet strings wound around you, if you’re about to step in a place you shouldn’t be those strings tighten and you walk away, except it feels more like “oh i don’t want to do this actually” and not “why did i just do that?” You don’t question it too thoroughly, you just encounter less issues now and thank the witches.

🃏 - You think you spend a healthy of time away from him, you don’t. In actuality you actually spent most of your time with him indirectly. He gives you many gifts, each one extends his omnipresence, so when you’re wearing something from him he is absolutely listening most of the time. If you ask him he’d tell you “Knowledge is a curse, wouldn’t you rather enjoy a white lie?” A little intimidated, you agree.

🃏 - His eaves dropping came in handy one time. He’d be lounging around mid air reading a book (and rewriting it) while listening to you in the background, a mug floating beside him. You were doing your own thing somewhere in the kingdoms, going through your daily rituals. What really made his ears open was when he heard someone he hadn’t recognised begin to speak to you all friendly. His eyes didn’t avert from the paper but if his ears could prick thats exactly what they’d be doing. “So, you doing anything this weekend? You’re cute,” He spit out his coffee, who did this guy think he was talking to you like that!

🃏 - He perked up, snapped his fingers so he wasn’t wearing his comfortable bed clothes and now in his usual jester attire. He jumped through a portal wasting no time. He watched from afar for a moment, you were clearly disinterested. “Im actually waiting for my partner,” you said. It always made his heart beat when you lied, especially about him! He might as well help you out! (And scare off whoever this was)

🃏 - He floated in, “Oh, my star~!” He sung out coming from around the corner, you whip around clearly happy to see him. He practically throws himself on you, and smothers you in exaggerated kisses, arms wrapped around your neck and one leg up behind him in a cartoonish way before harshly placing his lips against yours in a way that screamed territorial. Your face heats up from embarrassment, he then turns to the other cookie who didn’t seem to believe you but now, unfortunately, did. “Oh sorry, do you mind? I need a minute with my dearest, loveliest most adored actor” he says while holding your chin feigning innocence in his voice. But while you were hiding your face his shifted, he loved dropping the mask, putting on a face as scary as he was. The other got the memo, nervously escaping his wrath.

🃏 - You wont ever determine why he was truly near you, he’ll say that he wanted to see you but you know its a lie. Surprisingly, that cookie lives but at the expense of their reputation. Black sapphire is allowed to go ham with rumours about them, they end up moving towns. You, of course, have to endure lots of teasing from him. “If i knew you were so attractive to other cookies, i would have made you the main character!” He says while poking you.

[dresshistorynerd]

Roughly 10 More Cool Historical Queer Figures More People Should Know About

Part 2 - Modern Era

Part 1

Last year I made a post of roughly 10 (emphasis on roughly) earlier historical queer figures, and promised a list of another (roughly) 10 figures. So again in spirit of pride month, I'm delivering you roughly 10 (technically there's 12 or more however you want to count them) more cool historical queer figures.

In the first list I had fucked up the splitting of my list and there were only 8 figures. I had somehow misplaced the first entry here on this list even though time-period-wise it should have been on the first one, but alas it will go here.

The same disclaimers apply here too. This list is centered around western history (but not exclusively) because that's the history I'm most familiar with, though it's definitely not all white, since western history is not all white. I will be avoiding using modern labels, since they are rarely exactly applicable to history, rather I will present whatever we know about these figures' gender, sexuality and relationships. If there's information about what language they used about themselves, I will use that. Often we don't know their own thoughts, so I will need to do some educated guess work, but I will lean towards ambiguity whenever evidence is particularly unclear. If you are the type of person who gets angry with the mere suggestion there's a possibility that a historical gnc person might not have been cis, I encourage you to read my answers to related asks (here and here) first before sending me another identical ask. Try to at least bring some new arguments if you decide to waste my time with your trans erasure.

9. Romaine-la-Prophétesse (c. 1750 - at least 1792)

Romaine-la-Prophétesse, or Romaine the Prophetess, was a Haitian revolutionary and religious leader. It's unclear what pronounce they would have used for themself, so I'll refer to them as they/them. They were assigned male at birth and were born around 1750 in the Spanish controlled Hispaniola as Romaine Rivière to free black parents, possibly of Kongolese origin. By 1772 they had migrated to the French part of the island and become a small coffee plantation owner. By that point they had also met Marie Roze Adam a mulatto woman, who was enslaved in another plantation, where they were likely an employer. Between 1772 and 1777 she gave birth to their three children, who were born into slavery. After meeting their future wife, Romaine spent 12 years working to free her and their children from slavery. They purchased Marie Roze and their children and immediately married her, exploiting a law, according to which marrying her master freed her and any of her children owned by the same master. Romaine became very respected in the area's free black community and they and their wife became godparents to multiple children. Still even after freeing their wife and children from bondage they did own at least two slaves, as did many wealthy free black and mulatto people.

After the French Revolution many of the free black Haitians were radicalized. The French revolutionaries had promised freedom and equality, but while all whites, even the poor ones, gained citizenship, the citizen status of free people of colour was tenuous and black slaves remained slaves. This led to a lot of tensions and fighting, which in 1791 erupted into several uprisings, the uprising of the free people of colour against their discrimination and the slave rebellion. Romaine joined the slave rebellion after a powerful white plantation owner near their plantation gathered troops threatening them and their community. They called upon free black and poor white people in their community outnumbering the white troops, attacked the plantation, burned it down and freed it's slaves. It's a little unclear when exactly, but at least by the revolution, Romaine started to be known as Romaine the Prophetess. They dressed in women's clothing and spoke about being possessed by a female spirit. They became known as both a healer and a prophet. With a saber in hand they preached that God was black - their religious practice and revolutionary politics were very intertwined. Vodou was not yet a formalized belief system, but this was the time when it was taking form as Catholic and Indigenous African and Caribbean beliefs mingled together among Caribbean people of colour. Romaine's religious beliefs seem to also be a mix of Kongolese Catholicism (Catholicism has been a major religion in Kongo since early 16th century) and indigenous West-African religions. This was quite common among Haitian revolutionaries, but there was still a lot of variety.

After capturing and burning the first plantation, Romaine and their growing army of freed slaves, burned multiple other plantations in the area of Southern Hispaniola and freed thousands of slaves. There were excesses of violence as an inevitable consequence of the extreme brutality the slaves had been subjected to (how the Caribbean slaves and Maroons were treated by the Europeans is one of the most nauseating things I have ever read and after that it's impossible for me to condemn anything they did afterward to their oppressors). Eventually most of the wealthy free black people turned against Romaine and the slave revolt and pressured them to go into peace treaty with the French. By that point they had enough of the upper hand that they managed to keep control over large parts of the province. However, the peace would not last and eventually Romaine and their troops were defeated by the French in 1792. Romaine's family was capture, but they apparently managed to escape and was said to have continued preaching, however there's no other record of them after that. Haitian Revolution was eventually after a decade successful and made Haiti the first state to entirely abolish slavery.

10. We'Wha (1849–1896)

We'Wha was a Zuni, Indigenous American Pueblo people from Zuni River Valley, a potter, a weaver and a cultural ambassador. They were a lhamana, a third gender category in Zuni culture. The lhamana are usually amab people, who take both masculine and feminine characteristics and perform both feminine and masculine roles in the community. It's unclear what pronouns We'Wha would have used in the English language, so I will use they/them. At the time of We'Wha's birth the Zuni had managed to stay away from colonizers and continued their traditional livelihoods and religious practices. But the Zunis had their first interactions with the colonizers, who brought smallpox, which killed many of the villagers, including We'Wha's parents, after which they and their brother were adopted by an aunt. US tried to gain control of New Mexico - in 1877 they established Zuni Reservation and begun a policy to assimilate Indigenous People to the industrial American society by converting them to Christianity. Which is why in 1878 missionaries arrive to We'Wha's village. They became the missionaries' domestic servant and learned English. The missionaries left from the village in 1881, without managing to force their culture and morals on the villagers.

During the missionaries' stay at the village, We'Wha befriended Matilda Coxe Stevenson, an ethnologist, who recorded a lot of Zuni culture with the help of We'Wha. Matilda and her husband invited them to visit Washington D.C. with them. We'Wha used the opportunity to meet with president and form good relationship with the US government in order to protect the independence of their tribe. 6 years after their visit to Washington D.C., they were arrested. US soldiers had tried to interfere with the internal community trial of the Zuni and arrest their elders. We'Wha had resisted the soldiers and ended up in jail for a month.

Today Zuni people are surviving centuries of genocide as well as one can. Halona Idiwan’a, or Pueblo of Zuni, the Zuni reservation and homeland, has a sizable Zuni population. There's 9 500 speakers of Zuni language, most of who live in Halona Idiwan’a. The traditional religion is also still practiced by the Zuni. In early 2000s Zuni people successfully opposed a coal mine, which was planned near Zuni Salt Lake, a sacred site in Zuni lands. To this day they are still opposing colonial intervention.

11. Edward Carpenter (1844-1929)

Edward Carpenter was from a wealthy English family. He was a writer, poet, philosopher, socialist, early gay rights activist, prison reformist and animal rights activist. He wrote much about Uranians, term for queer men, which he used as a term for all queer people. He argued for non-medicalized view of queerness, and didn't just argue that it should be tolerated, but that it was a natural human trait beneficial to humanity. He had multiple relationships with men thorough his life, and had a particular preference for gruff working class men. As a 58 years old he met 36 year old George Merrill, a working class man, and the two fell in love. George moved in with Edward and they lived together for almost 40 years, until George died suddenly. Edward was devastated and shortly after suffered a stroke and died as well.

12. May Morris (1862-1938)

May Morris was English Arts and Crafts artist, designer artisan and socialist. Her father was William Morris himself, the father of the Arts and Crafts movement, and her mother was Jane Morris, muse and model of Pre-Raphaelite art. May was a very influential embroiderer. She was active in the movement and founded Women's Guild of Art when Art Workers' Guild did not admit women. She was married to a man, the secretary of the Socialist League, for 8 year, despite her mother's disapproval of him, but eventually divorced him. In 1917 her life long relationship with Mary Lobb begun. Mary cross-dressed but used feminine terms. She loved dogs. She moved into May's countryside Arts and Crafts cottage with the guise of being May's gardener, but eventually they were openly a couple. They traveled together for hiking trips, for example to Iceland many times.

13. Renée Vivien (1877-1909)

Renée Vivien was a mentally ill lesbian poet, Sappho enjoyer (a woman of culture) and a cat lover. She had a profound homoromantic childhood friendship, mommy issues and was melodramatic about women. She would have done numbers on Tumblr dot com. She was English, but lived most of her life in France with the money she inherited from her rich father at a young age. All her relationships were quite dramatic. She left the homoromantic friendship with Violet Shillito for a hot American actress Natalie Barney, after which the friend died of typhoid fever and Renée separated with Natalie because she was sure she had killed Violet with a broken heart. Next year in 1902 she started an affair with a married Jewish Baroness Héléne von Zuylen. They had to keep their relationship discreet because of Héléne's position, but it continued for years and Renée considered them to be married. Still when she got a letter from a secret admirer, wife of a Turkish diplomat, French-educated Muslim woman, Kérimé Turkhan Pasha, she started a secret affair with her too. They had only brief encounters, but exchanged a lot of passionate correspondence. Renée was not willing to leave Héléne, but eventually in 1907 Héléne left her for another woman. Next year Kérimé ended their relationship, as she relocated to St. Petersburg with her husband. Renée took all that as well as the average poet. She abused alcohol and drugs more than she had before and attempted suicide in a way I can only describe as on brand. She overdosed on opium, stretched on her divan and placed a bouquet of violets over her heart. Her commitment to the symbolism was real. In all seriousness she was not well. Her substance abuse and disordered eating had deteriorated her health and tragically complications of her mental illnesses would claim her life only a year later.

14. Lucy Hicks Anderson (1886–1954)

Lucy was Black American born in Kentucky to a working class family and assigned male at birth. From a young age she insisted that she was a girl and wanted to wear dresses. Her mother took her to a physician, who suggested that she should allow Lucy to present as a girl and raise her as such, which she did. Lucy left school at age 15 to support herself by working as a domestic servant. As an adult she would move around and work in the service sector and as a chefs, get married and move to Oxnard, California. After divorcing her husband in 1929 she bought a boarding house with her savings, and used is as a front to operate a brothel and illegal liquor business during the prohibition. She became a local socialite and hostess with a lot of influence in the high society. She was on that grindset. Her influential connections got her out of jail, when her brothel was exposed. After that she married a her second husband in New York in 1944, Reuben Anderson, a soldier. They returned to Oxnard, where she resumed her brothel operation. In 1946 a sailor claimed to have caught a venereal disease from her brothel, so even she was forced to undergo a medical examination, during which her masculine sex characteristics were discovered and she was accused of fraud for "lying" about her sex in her marriage license. In the court she said:

"I defy any doctor in the world to prove that I am not a woman. [...] I have lived, dressed, acted just what I am, a woman."

She and her husband were convicted and both put in men's prison. To add to the cruelty, she was forbidden to wear women's clothing. She survived the ordeal and was freed in 1950, after which she moved with her husband to Los Angeles and they lived quietly together until her death.

15. Amelio Robles Ávila (1889-1984)

Amelio Robles Ávila was a Mexican revolutionary colonel and decorated war hero. He was born to a middle class farmer, who owned 42 hectares of land, and afab in Xochipala, Guerrero. He was sent to girl's Catholic school, but showed interest in masculine pursuits from an early age, becoming very proficient in running of a ranch. Even before adopting a male presentation or becoming a soldier, he was known as an excellent marksman and rider. He joined the revolutionary Zapatista army between 1911 and 1912, still presenting as a woman. The Zapatistas were formed as a response to the military dictatorship under general Porfirio Díaz, who ruled from late 19th to early 20th century. Prior to the Porfiriato there was still significant Indigineus Nahua population in Central Mexico, where people lived largely in Nahua villages and worked communally owned land. During the dictatorship though communal landownership was undermined and land was centralized to haciendas, which were a type of grand estate used broadly in Latin America as brutal colonial enterprises. This sparked a revolution, led by the Zapatistas, who sought land reform and fought the military dictatorship with guerilla warfare.

Two years after joining the Zapatistas, Amelio started to present as a man and demanded to be respected as such. And mostly he was, by his family as well. He was accomplished in the army and eventually gained his own command of over 300 men. He fought till the end of revolutionary period in 1920, and returned to put down a counter-revolutionary rebellion in 1923. After his army career he settled down, and in 1930s he married Ángela Torres, with whom he adopted a daughter, Regula Robles Torres. He was a widely known to be trans and so when his birth certificate was falsified so he could legally adopt his daughter, it was probably a favour from the government. At some point after the revolution, a group of men tried to do a hate crime on him and "expose" his anatomy, but he killed two of them in self-defense, as he should. In 1948 he received a medical certificate, where it was confirmed he had 6 (six) bullet wounds, to officially enter the Confederation of Veterans of the Revolution. And finally in 1970 he was officially recognized by the state as a male veteran (veterano) of the Revolution and received several awards for his distinguished military service. He died as a 95-year-old revolutionary hero and certified chad. There is a story that in his deathbed he asked to be dressed in women's clothing when he was buried to face God's judgement, but this is likely a baseless rumor, since he also apparently asked in the same breath honours for his military service (which he had already received) and according to his death certificate he had lost the ability to speak before his death.

16. Alan L. Hart (1890-1962)

Alan L. Hart was an American physician, radiologist and novelist, who made significant advancements to tuberculosis treatment and was the first transman to medically transition in US. He was afab and was born in 1890, but very early on expressed a strong desire to be a boy, which was largely accepted by her parents and grandparents, who let him present as a boy and referred to him in masculine ways. However, when he attended school he was required to dress as a girl, though outside it he continued to presenting as a boy. In medical collage he was still forced to present as a woman. He was very unhappy that his female name was used in his medical degree when he graduated, since it meant he had to continued presenting as a woman for jobs or be outed as a "sexual invert". Right after his graduation though in 1917 (when he was still presenting on his first job as a woman, but outside it as a man) he sought medical transition. His doctor agreed that "from a sociological and psychological standpoint he is a man" and his surgery was completed during the next year after which he legally changed his name and married his first wife Inez Stark. Later, when hormone theraphy became available, he started using testosterone as well. Unfortunately in the same year he was outed by a former classmate and was forced to move with his wife to remote Montana, which was very traumatic for him. Financial troubles and secrecy caused by this outing and relocation put a strain on his marriage and they separated in 1923. Two years later he married his second wife, Edna Ruddick, which would last till his death.

During the same year Alan moved to work in Trudeau School of Tuberculosis in New York to do his postgraduate work, then worked for two years in a sanatorium in Illinois and finally in 1928 received his master's degree in radiology from the University of Pennsylvania. After that he did his career working with and researching tuberculosis, which was the most common cause of death in America still at the time. He developed an x-ray screening method for spotting tuberculosis early on and preventing it from spreading. Using his screening method he led a mass campaign to screen for tuberculosis in Connecticut for 16 years, and similar screening campaigns were then used all over US and the world. This was crucial in ending the tuberculosis epidemics, which had been going on for decades across the world. His method is still the standard used today. During his career he also wrote medical drama fiction and published four novels.

In his will he had directed for his personal photographs and letters to be destroyed, which was his last act of controlling the narrative of his own life, which had been briefly stolen from him, when he had been outed. This was carried out, but even then, a decade after his death, he was reclaimed by anti-trans lesbian groups as a historical lesbian figure. During 1980s and 1990s though trans people and some lesbians, like the Lesbian Avengers, valiantly defended his legacy, protested these lesbian groups and eventually forced them to back down.

17. Willem Arondeus (1894-1943)

Willem Arondeus was a Dutch artist, writer and poet and an openly gay man. Quickly after Neatherlands was occupied by Nazi Germany in 1940, he joined the Dutch resistance. He used his skills as an artist to become a very successful forger. He forged documents for Dutch Jews so they could avoid Nazi detection and escape the occupation with a lesbian resistant Frieda Belingfante. Their efforts were hindered by Population Registration, where the Nazis could verify the documents to be false. So in 1943 they attacked the record archives and managed to blow up the building and destroy 15% of the identity cards. Later though someone betrayed them and Willem was caught by the Nazis. He refused to identify his companions, but the Nazis found his notebook and were able to catch everyone except Frieda. Willem took all the blame for the attack, which is possibly why two of his comrades were given clemency, but the rest 13 and him were sentenced to death. Before his execution he made sure it was known he and two others in the group were gay and said either to a friend or a lawyer:

"Tell people that homosexuals are not cowards."

18. Sister Rosetta Tharpe (1915-1973)

Rosetta Tharpe was born in Cotton Plantation, Arkansas, USA, to black cotton pickers, who were also gospel musicians. She was a young prodigy and started touring as a gospel singer and player at a young age. She is often called the Godmother of Rock 'n' Roll, because of her immense influence to the genre. She was a pioneer of electric guitar technique that would have a massive influence to the development of electric blues and the sound of rock 'n' roll. Her act was provocative, as she combined spiritual gospel lyrics with embrace of sexuality and appearances in nightclubs. She had relationships with men and women and was married several times. One of her more famous sapphic relationships was with another black artist, Marie Knight. Their relationship lasted for five years during which they made music and performed together. They remained friends for the rest of Rosetta's life, and years after her death at age 82 Marie recorded a tribute album for Rosetta.

19 & 20. Tove Jansson (1914-2001) and Tuulikki Pietilä (1917-2009)

Tove Jansson was the creator of Moomins, an artist and a writer. She was born in Helsinki, Finland, to an upper class Swedish-Finnish artist family. She had relationships with both men and women. Her early serious relationship was with Atos Wirtanen, a socialist politician, who inspired Snufkin's character. Her first relationship with a woman was with a married theater director, Vivica Bandler. Tutsik and Lipsik were based on herself and Vivica. In 1956 she started relationship with her life partner, Tuulikki Pietilä, which lasted till the end of her life. Tuulikki was an influential Finnish graphic artist and sister to Reima Pietilä (one half of Pietilä architect pair, my favorite Finnish architects). Tuutikki was based on her. They traveled all over the world and spend their summers on a small rocky island in Pellinki. In 1992 they attended together the presidential independence day party (a big event every year in Finland) as probably the first sapphic couple.

[thebluester2020]

[SDV] SDV Bachelors x Toys In The Bedroom

Summary: Anon does a pretty good job explaining what goes on here!

Warning(s): Porn and filth, Lots of vibrator talk in this one (I think lots of the bachelors would like to use vibrators during sex lol), Pet-Play, A hint of ass-play, Buttplugs, Nurse/Doctor Play, Collaring, Bondage, Lance being a tad bit degrading (in the kinky way ofc), Lots of freaky talk!

Side Note(s): Because I thought it'd be fun, I decided to add in a bit of kinks I think they'd be into as well!

Elliot

Okay, so hear me out on this one— I kinda feel like Elliot is one of the few on this list that would have a sort of "Vanilla+" type of approach when it comes to incorporating toys in the bedroom.

It's not that he minds the use of them, it's just that he feels like he doesn't need to. He's confident in his skills with you, understands your body as well as he does the back of his own hand!

Whenever you've brought up the mention of toys, he'd probably respond with something along the lines of "Why should we do that, my love? I make you cum plenty with my fingers and mouth, don't I?" (and proceeds to give you a niceeee reminder afterward)

With all this being said, though, if you were really insistent on spicing up your sex life by bringing in a toy. I feel like Elliot would prefer using a vibrator OR really light bondage (such as tying your hands together and all)

For a vibrator, it's nothing too fancy and it proves to be a pretty good team-player when he's too busy getting pussydrunk to properly rub your clit.

And when you moan just a little bit louder with the vibrator? He's not insecure enough to suddenly become jealous of a toy, in fact? That single sound alone would change his tune completely and have him bringing in the vibrator each time you two have sex!

Adding that with the bondage, the sight of you squirming and begging for him to touch you would shoot him straight to the moon and back, and the look of sheer desperation you give him would only make him want to press the vibrator to your clit even harder, encouraging you to moan even louder, to keep on begging him to allow you to touch him.

And after pulling out two squirting orgasms out of you back-to-back?

Oh, he's definitely going to search for even better vibrators to buy for you to see if you'll moan even louder than the last time!

Sebastian

Walk with me on this one, guys. Fleshlight + Vibrator combo.

While Sebastian's definitely open to using other types of toys in the bedroom (Idk why but the idea of a cock ring is tickling my brain a little for him), I feel like a fleshlight and good ol' vibrator are doing the trick for him. Especially since he already has experience with using a fleshlight before meeting you.

So, hear me out on my scenario, the two of you are using these two things in tandem for the first time, and it just so happens to be when Sebastian's in a more dominant mood tonight.

It's a piss poor reason but he feels like you were wayyyy too friendly with Sam tonight while you three were at the Saloon together! So him being the responsible boyfriend that he is, he decides to teach you not to be so friendly with Sam the next time you are out together!

While your laid out on your back, your hole clenching at the sight of Sebastian's cock fucking a cheap plastic replica of a pussy instead of you. Sebastian has the added audacity to press a bullet vibrator to your clit, the man practically drooling at the sight of your unfucked cunt clenching around nothing while your hands claw and pull at the bedsheets.

Every time you beg him to fuck you instead. He just coldly replies, "In a minute".

You can see the way his pre-cum begins to stain the insides of the plastic fleshlight, the transparent object beginning to emit lewd squishing noises as your boyfriend's strength upon the bullet began to wane as he steadily lost himself to the pleasure of fucking the replica. And what's more? He was getting off on the fact that you were watching him near his orgasm while you were practically helpless to do anything!

However, as good as the fleshlight feels and how much as he wants to teach you a lesson—a fake pussy will never compare to the real thing. Thus, after deeming you having learned your lesson, he decides to take mercy on you and pump you full of his cum instead!

And thankfully, he decides to make you cum as well! Just with the vibrator.

Sam

C'mon, guys, y'all already know what I'm about to say—PETPLAY.

I understand that "true" petplay comes with the whole BDSM gear + fake dog mask, but going with the assumption that Sam's not that freaky. A collar, a vibrating cockring, and maybe a gag are going to be his favorite type of toys to use in the bedroom.

I've already hinted at this, but I'm coming to believe that Sam doesn't care whose wearing the collar, he just has a preference that it's on him. But to spice things up, I'm gonna say that the roles are reversed and Sam's put all this on you. (Minus the vibrating cockring ofc, that's for him later on when you get him back.)

He fancies you up in a collar, some fake dog ears, and even the gag!

For the entire time you two have been roleplaying together (Standard new pet owner buys a horny dog and trains them type of play), you've been eyeing the dick imprint in his pants. Drool even begins to run down the side of your lips when he unbuckles his pants after placing you face down on the bed.

You want to suck him off sooooo badly.

But he plans to make you work to get your reward by seeing if you can be an obedient doggie and not cum for the next three rounds that he's going to pound the ever-living daylights out of you!

"Don't cum, you won't be able to get your reward!"

"Oho~ you clenched down reallllyyy hard when I started to put my thumb in your ass. Don't tell me your *that* kind of dog?"

The whole nine yards and some more.

And for fun, let's say you don't make it through those three rounds.

He's already bought you a nice (human-sized) dog bed for you to sleep on! Bad dogs can't sleep on the bed with their masters after all, he'll give you a few minutes to re-think your actions and to not be so quick to cum before he gets right back to training you again.

Alex

Also, another candidate for Vanilla+ like Elliot.

I can't really see him using toys on you or himself? Even though I can slightly see him using a fleshlight on himself. I imagine that he probably ditched it the second he got with you and never looked back; he'd rather just use his hand if it's really that serious. As for you, he dicks you down so good that you've never thought about the concept of bringing toys into the bedroom to begin with!

That being said, though, the only thing I can see Alex using is probably bondage.

But I believe it'd only be in this scenario—using you as a "workout".

Walk with me, Alex, brings up wanting to increase his cardio with you! However, how effective will his workout be when you're constantly squirming about and grabbing onto him?

Here's where the bondage comes in.

He uses it, ofc, to tie you up and essentially use you like you're just another workout machine to him. He even uses your moans and begs for him to go faster, to fuck you harder as encouragement that he's going his cardio successfully!

I swear that there's a specific kink for being used as an item, idk what though.

Anyway, after he's finally finished with his cardio, having made you cum back to back and even having you pass out for a few seconds one time. He decides that you are his favorite workout and plans to do this a few times a week with you!

Let's just say that the whole experience makes Alex almost want to look into using more toys with you. All for the sake of working out of course!

Harvey

Can those cheesy fake doctor props from poronos even be considered sex toys? I think they can, and I believe Harvey's using them in relation to a small huge kink he has.

And for starters? I think he'd be the one to bring them up rather than you, out of a shocking display of confidence! Mostly after seeing how good your thighs looked when you wore your old Joja uniform. After asking to use them though, you decide to buy a nurse uniform online.

See where I'm going with this? Walk with me, you and Harvey go to his office and fool under the guise of "Nurse fucks workahlic doctor while telling him about the patients he'll see next week". With your fake syringe in hand and a clipboard in the other, you show Harvey just how good you can multitask as you list off the patients he'll be seeing!

You list off the names and what they're coming to him for in great detail. Detail that Harvey's definitely not listening to as his hand lazily cups your ass as his eyes are glued to your bouncing breasts muttering out a lazy "Uh huh..." each time you ask him if he's listening to you!

Too many "Uh huhs" later, and you're slowing your hips down, making the poor doctor whine and beg for you to speed back up while all you can say in turn is "You gotta listen doctor~ I'm saying some really important information here!" You lightly scold.

An hour and a couple minutes later, after cumming harder than he ever had in his life. Harvey's not shy about one thing when it comes to the topic of bringing sex toys into the bedroom, especially if it means having a repeat of you in that nurse's outfit.

Shane

Other than using a fleshlight or buttplug (on you). I can't see him using toys in the bedroom? It's not that he hates him, Yoba knows that he's used more fleshlights than he can count, but it's more so that he's the type of person who's not into them.

Especially when experience has told him that his dick game is solid enough to where he doesn't need to rely upon them. That being said, though, he wouldn't say no to you having a buttplug up your ass while he fucks you in doggy.

A bejeweled buttplug making your forbidden hole look all pretty while your ass is red from smacking it earlier would drive him wild. Hell, you'd even have you complimenting you while he's balls deep in you!

"You're so pretty with this lil' assplug in you, makin' me wanna buy you even more cute shit while I'm fucking you stupid."

"If you're takin' a lil' plug like this so well...wonder what else you can take."

After fucking your brains out, I imagine that his small desire to fuck your ass would only grow afterward. All the nine yards too, staring at your ass, touching it more and even teasing your hole during sex!

As for the fleshlight, however— I'll end this by saying that I can see him fucking the fleshlight while he's gently pumping in and out of your asshole with the buttplug, a little prep before you get the real thing and all!

Bonus! Lance

As much as I understand Lance's feelings towards monsters— I can't get it out of my mind how he'd also be a fan of bondage + a vibrator as well as even a gag. But to spice it all up, I'm going to say that you decided to dress up like a cute monster and asked for Lance to "bring you down".

His dicking down technique in combination with tying your arms together and the vibrator? It shot you straight to heaven and back repeatedly as Lance threw degrading words your way, as if he were genuinely talking to another monster he was about to slay!

Every roll of his hips into your pussy, his cockhead pressing into the deepest parts of your cunt made tiny jets of your slick squirt out, and each time you'd clench around him— both from the intensifying pleasure and how he'd look at you while he talked.

You couldn't help how you nearly blacked out from how hard you came!

And Lance had a lot to say ass he continued fucking you through your orgasm, fully intent on giving you a couple more.

"You monsters have no shame, don't you?"

"Can't even last a few minutes? Don't think that just because you're sensitive that I'm gonna stop."

"Ahhh, you may be a monster but your cunt feels sooo good. Maybe I'll keep you..."

Of course, in true knightly fashion, however, he quickly reassures you that all of his words were just roleplay after all is said and done!

God, I need to do another Lance marriage run.

[altocat]

FIRST SOLDIER EPISODE 2 CHAPTER 4

Biiiig drama happening tonight, guys. And it's recap time, courtesy of yours truly. Let's do it!

When we last left the gang, Angeal had caught on to the fact that the dreams were an idealistic distraction, Bachman got assimilated into the island's influence, Alissa was sus (again), and Miniroth was on his way to acquiring the Masamune. But before he can take the sword for himself, Miniroth needs to pass one big trial to prove himself worthy to the "spirits". Which seems to come in the form of Glenn's voice calling out to him! What's going on here???

We open on a recap of what "Glenn's" voice via Bachman's narration. After the group takes a breather, they head to find the voice. "Glenn" himself meets them, complete with a black robed hoodie. He says that ROSEN went deeper into the cave. WTF....but Rosen is dead! And Matt and Lucia are supposedly looking for him??? They have to catch up.

Miniroth tells the group that Rosen is a friend of Glenn's. And that he, Sephiroth, killed him. So we're already going there lol.

Sephiroth says that he had a hard time understanding Rosen...he viewed him as a threat. Flashback of Miniroth with Team Glenn. Team Glenn is watching Rosen's chimney in the far distance. Miniroth tells them not to get too involved with the enemy--it's dangerous. But the group expresses kinship with Rosen, which makes Miniroth anxious.

Another flashback WITHIN the flashback. This time in HOJO'S LAB! Miniroth is fighting a monster while Hojo goads him. Flash back to the scene with Glenn--Miniroth was thinking about his time with Hojo while Team Glenn was fighting a monster in the background. After killing the monster together, Glenn praises Sephiroth and we get more flashes of Miniroth being observed by scientists in the lab. He was showered with praise, but no one ever got close to him...or saw who he really was. All they saw was the illusion of a hero. Good to see lots of old fan lore finally confirmed onscreen. He really was a lab rat.

Anyway, Glenn tells Miniroth that he and Rosen should be buddies since they're similar. They're both so isolated and lonely. Miniroth still doesn't get it yet...after all, his experiences are pretty horrific. He's anxious just talking about Rosen, powerless.

BACK IN THE PRESENT FINALLY, Miniroth tells the group that he killed Rosen and Glenn saw it happen. Angeal approaches him and tells him that something doesn't feel right about all this. Why are they chasing after a ghost? Alissa just tells Angeal to shut up and roll with it. Because of course lol Sephiroth just wants the sword.

Following "Glenn's" trail, Angeal stops them to speak his mind. He mentions the spirits and how they supposedly told Masamune to make the sword. And now those very spirits are guiding Sephiroth...MANIPULATING him. He said that Sephiroth clearly cared about Team Glenn and that it brings Sephiroth a lot of anguish that he clearly hasn't processed yet. He tells Sephiroth TO HIS FACE that the spirits are using this to fuck with him. Miniroth says that Angeal is right but it's more because he's deflated and upset than him actually listening. He tells Angeal that this is HIS fight...just stay out of his way.

Down the stairs. Alissa asks Sephiroth if he cared about Team Glenn. Sephiroth says yes, he did. They treated him like a "normal kid".

Another Team Glenn flashback on Rhadore. Glenn wonders why Seph won't admit that he and Rosen are similar. They're both just kids who put their lives on the line for work. Sephiroth says that he and Rosen were nothing alike! He didn't CHOOSE his path. Sephiroth asks Glenn if Glenn just pities him. Glenn says that Sephiroth is on his way to becoming a REAL hero. He encourages Sephiroth and flusters the hell out of him. Sephiroth privately admits that it made him...happy. AWWWWW. He genuinely viewed them as friends, per his own admission.

Back to the present again. Sephiroth blames himself for "throwing it all away" in killing Rosen.

They keep walking. Angeal asks more about Rosen. ANOTHER FLASHBACK GEEZ GAME. Anyway, Glenn explains that Seph and Rosen are the same age despite being enemies. Sephiroth doubts they'd get along. Glenn keeps pointing out their similarities until Sephiroth gets anxious and runs away. Standing alone, Sephiroth grapples with his emotions, very clearly agitated at the constant comparisons, fighting a monster solo to blow off some steam. Afterwards, Team Glenn joins up again. Sephiroth apologizes for being emotional. Sephiroth calms enough to admit that he would like to meet Rosen. He admits that he has no idea what he would say...he's never talked to someone his own age before. Glenn tells him to take Rosen to the Honey Bee Inn LMAO GLENN NO. Sephiroth doesn't even know what that is. STOP CORRUPTING THE BABY.

PRESENT TIME AGAIN. Sephiroth remarks that Team Glenn was so protective of Rosen. He admits that he believed that attachment would kill them someday, something that scared him. So really, he viewed Rosen as a threat the lives of his friends, people he grew close with who he didn't want to lose.

Angeal said that Seph killed Rosen to protect Glenn and the others, but now he has regrets. Sephiroth insists that Rosen was the enemy and that he regrets NOTHING (liar). Angeal doesn't believe him. Seph gets pissed and basically tells Angeal to fuck off. But Angeal can see this is really messing with Seph's head.

A bunch of PURPLE SUS SPIRITS show up conveniently just as Angeal slowly walks towards Seph. More monster fights. Sephiroth tells Angeal to stay out of his way (again). This is mostly a slowburn means of Angeal slowly nudging closer and closer to Seph until he finally reaches him.

Anyway, the group reaches an outside temple, more spirits buzzing around all over the place. Alissa says that there are more illusions afoot. What the group sees might not be real. Including the land itself.

Angeal can tell that Sephiroth looks scared. Sephiroth pretends to be tough about it. We wander through the ruins for a bit across a bunch of broken bridges.

We catch up to "Glenn" at that bridge we saw in the teaser. Angeal says that they all clearly just seeing illusions and that they need to doubt everything they see and hear. Sephiroth tells Angeal to SHUT THE FUCK UP, lashing out. Angeal refuses. He tells that if Sephiroth wants the sword so bad, take it. Angeal won't stop him. But he's concerned for Sephiroth and how caught up he is with the past. He wants to pull Sephiroth OUT of that mire and HOLY SHIT SEPHGEAL FEELS ARE REAL.

Sephiroth keeps getting angrier and angrier at this emotional intimacy. Angeal tells him to open his heart so they can work together. Angeal says that his mother taught him to be true to himself. And says that his father taught him about DREAMS AND HONOR. And to not be trapped by the past. That's how Angeal was raised. I'm paraphrasing a lot of it but the dialogue is actually REALLY GOOD here? ANGEAL IS MVP.

Obviously....Sephiroth has no references for parents. He tells Angeal that they were raised in different worlds. They'll never see eye to eye. He sadly walks ahead. Angeal refuses to be pushed away and keeps chasing him.

They make it to that big temple thing, also in the teaser. It's a dead end?? But Sephiroth senses something is here. Up ahead, there's a big cave/portal thingy. Purple. The images of Matt and Lucia (also in hoods) show up. But they're constricted by some sort of tentacle monster and OH NO IT'S HOJOOOOOO. A twisted vision of Hojo holding both of Sephiroth's friends hostage! And Sephiroth can only save one! He needs to choose! Miniroth has to remind himself that Matt and Lucia aren't really there...these are just illusions. But he can't bring himself to choose. "Hojo" tells him to prove himself worthy of the blade.

"WHO WILL YOU SAVE?" Callback to Rosen obviously.

You can choose either one. Whoever gets rejected, they say some heartbreaking shit before "dying". Whoever is SAVED turns into a "blighted spirit" monster, which looks A LOT like Jenova. Sorta.

Anyway, Angeal encourages Sephiroth to fight the illusion. After fighting the monster, the illusion tells Sephiroth that uncertainty is a sign of WEAKNESS. Sephiroth can't shake the feeling, even if they're just illusions.

"Glenn" calls to Sephiroth again. Angeal tells Sephiroth that no matter who it is, no matter what they say or do, he has to block it out and push through to the end. Clinging to the past will only get in the way of the mission. Sephiroth gets defensive. Angeal challenges Sephiroth to prove he doesn't care by cutting "Glenn" loose completely. Don't show any weakness or it will consume him! That's what the spirits want!

Sephiroth loses his temper and slashes at Angeal. He doesn't hit him of course. He can't get Angeal to shut up.

The group takes a break to end the chapter. Like before, there's extras at the end. More dreams, probably...

Bachman's entry: Sephiroth is getting more physically exhausted and stressed out. It's pushing him to the edge and the trials are weakening him significantly. Everyone else is still walking around while Sephiroth curls up, clearly not doing too well.

SEPHIROTH'S DREAM: Miniroth is in the void, surrounded by Matt, Glenn, Lucia, and Refu. Glenn asks Sephiroth why he killed Rosen, Lucia and Matt calling him a murderer. Sephiroth is close to having a breakdown. Team Glenn demands that Sephiroth give them back Rosen. Miniroth says that he had no choice! He falls to his knees while they call him a MONSTER. ROSEN appears! But "Jenova" charges in to protect Sephiroth and says that Sephiroth did the right thing! She covers up all his guilt and says that he can do no wrong! She'll protect him, even if the world stands against him. Goaded by this, Sephiroth FUCKING TURNS ON THE IMAGES OF ROSEN AND TEAM GLENN IN HER DEFENSE WAESFGHFD THIS IS GETTING SO FUCKED UP SARDFGHFD HE CUTS THEM ALL DOWN! And Jenova hugs him and praises him and tells him he can "sleep forever" if he wishes. Jesus fucking christ. This is getting bad...

ANGEAL'S DREAM: Angeal is in the void too like Sephiroth, experiencing visions of his father ALSO calling him a murderer. It's Angeal's fault he's dead! Also lore dump?? Angeal's adoptive father married Gillian for money. He keeps berating Angeal until Angeal also collapses to his knees. Angeal still has a lot of guilt. Angeal's father tries to cut him down with the Buster Sword but ANGEAL BEING THE ABSOLUTE KING HE IS can't be penetrated. He STILL won't lose hope. Absolute legend. Hell yeah. He knows his parents loved him. His sword is proof of that. He wakes the group and gets them going again.

Loved this chapter. Very heavy on character development. Angeal and Sephiroth's bond is extremely compelling. LOTS to talk about for later!!!!

[darlingdaisyfarm]

stan's having a bad day. fem!reader knows what will definitely lift his mood (she will show him her boobs) :р

i’m so glad we’re talking about this because i swear showing Stan ur boobs to cheer him up is necessary. this is so canon to me like you don’t understand 😭

i would do this to him every day, even when hes in a great mood

nsfw

imagine he’s stomping around the shack muttering to himself “these dang tourists, no one buys nothin’, everything’s overpriced blah blah and sweet moses !! Mabel left glitter in my laundry again” and you just kinda waltz over, smile and say “baby, wanna see somethin’ that’ll make you forget every single one of your problems?” and before he can even answer, bam. BOOBS. the eighth wonder of the world!!! agree agree tho

Stan STOPS. not a single brain cell left standing, only eyebrows scrunching up. and then he just mutters a hoarse “oh. yeah. okay. day’s already lookin’ up.”

he is so easy to please WTF. you could throw off his whole afternoon with just tiddies

and the funniest part is you know it works. like this isn’t the first time. this is the tried and true method. you see him clenching his jaw, muttering about tourists or smth or tourists asking stupid questions and you’re like. okay. time to bring out the heavy artillery

and sometimes you don’t even have to say anything ?? you just go up behind him while he’s reading bills and gently lean against him so that he can feel your breasts. and Stanley just sits there stunned for a second before going “you’re such a menace, princess. come sit on my lap.” please PLEASE Stan fuck PLEASEE

or or or he’s grumbling while eating a sandwich in the kitchen, elbows on the counter, and you just come in, lift your shirt with both hands and go “you wanna touch somethin’ better than salami?” AND HE’S ALREADY DROPPING THAT SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR. UGH he’s cupping them like it’s the first time all over again, calloused thick fingers always so fucking gentle towards his girl, thumbs brushing over your nipples. “sweet moses, ‘s like gettin’ hit by lightning every damn time, baby, huh” and then uhhh... then he kisses one <3

sometimes he acts all dramatic about it too like “don’t tempt me, sweetheart, i’ve had a long day” but then he’s already got your tits in his hands, he's stupid !!

and if you lean into him and let them brush against his cheek while giggling, “you feel better now, baby?” he’ll let out low grunt saying yeah. yeah, actually. i fuckin’ do

also bonus points if you’re in a public setting. like you're at the shack after-hours, still a few stragglers hanging around and Stan’s leaning against the counter looking worn the hell out. you catch his eye, give him this knowing little smirk and just discreetly pull down your shirt collar real quick so he gets a peek. and the man literally perks up !! :) shoulders back, eyes gleaming, suddenly ready to go out and scam a bus full of tourists because you believed in him and showed him your tits. motivational speaker who?? we only know breast encouragement

+ Stan loves laying his head on your tits. both mullet Stan and older Stan

when it’s mullet Stan, he acts all cocky, though he's so fucking tired, teasing “you got the best pillows in the state, sweetheart.” but then his eyes flutter shut two minutes later and he’s snoring against your cleavage with his mouth open and drooling a little !! and you can’t even be mad cuz it’s cute

“unghhh i fuckin’ needed this. lemme just die here okay? this is heaven. leave me. bury me in here” and he stays there. and PLEASE PLEASE stroke his hair while he’s there PLEASE. he’ll murmur some nonsense like “you’re an angel. don’t deserve you. softest place on earth right here.” 😭😭

older Stan tries to be casual about it, but he’s secretly just as attached to the routine. if you tease him like, “you want my chest again?” he’ll grumble, “well i sure as hell don’t wanna rest my face on a pillow full of feathers when i got a better one right here.”

sometimes he’ll even do this thing where he nuzzles into one side and gropes the other cuz he's possessive. he also has huge hands and he has nowhere to put them except on your boobs. and yeah, old habits die hard, so please stroke his hair while he’s there “that’s it, darlin’. ooohhh fuck. gonna fall asleep right here. don’t even wake me if the shack catches fire.”

i just think he deserves it :( every time. he deserves warmth and softness and little kisses between your breasts while he murmurs how much he fucking needed this today. he’ll bury his face in ‘em like “just gimme five minutes. then i’ll take out the trash. promise.”

he will always say thank you, too. every time. “thanks, babe. you're better than any therapy.”

[honeygrahambitch]

"Okay," Will said as he let out a deep sigh, his shoulders visibly relaxing, "Let's talk. This is not going to work if we are at each other's throats, Hannibal."

Hannibal didn't move but curiously waited for Will's next action.

"Drop the knife."

"After you," Hannibal challenged him dryly.

Will's knife hit the floor with a loud metallic thud, shortly followed by Hannibal's.

"What now?" Hannibal asked, not sure what to do about his still existing anger. Letting go of the knife had felt counterintuitive, unnatural, uncomfortable.

"This is the part where we communicate. The alternative is that we kill each other. And then there's the other alternative, which in my opinion is worse. We go separate ways and the FBI finds us."

The anger in Hannibal's chest was suddenly replaced by dread. The thought of losing Will again was something that often troubled his nights.

"Talk, then."

"Have you ever considered that there should be a part in my becoming that is not reserved for violence?"

"I thought three dull years of marriage would make you long for some violence."

"Is that what you thought?" Will asked, "I haven't left my life behind only because I was tired of hiding from myself. I left it to be with you. Violence is not the only thing that I am craving."

"What else are you craving, Will?" Hannibal asked as he walked towards him. Will didn't take any step back although the voices in his head were encouraging him to do so.

Will couldn't voice the answer and instead followed Hannibal with his gaze.

"I am sorry about your nose," Hannibal said as he wiped away the blood that was slowly travelling towards Will's upper lip.

"I don't care about that," Will said, not even flinching at the touch, "I almost strangled you in your sleep. I don't know how else you could have responded to that."

"I feel like that is a good place to start," Hannibal replied softly, turning Will's face on both sides to check if he had damaged more his already bruised face. "I don't believe you wanted to kill me."

"No but then things escalated. And I really wanted to yell at you about how I feel about everything," Will admitted, "Christ, I haven't seen you in three years, I have no idea where to even start."

"I fathom you believe I have the answers to that myself. I don't."

Hannibal paused.

"Will, we have time. We do have all the time in the world. Sometimes I wish I could tell you how much I resented you while sometimes I want to tell you that I kept drawing your face every day so I wouldn't forget it."

Will arched an eyebrow to that.

"If you think that's bad then you should know that I once had to literally cuff myself to the bed and throw the keys to the other side of the room in order to stop myself from paying you a visit."

"That's embarrassing indeed."

"Shut up, no wonder Alana confiscated your drawings, she was probably sick of seeing my face."

"Then tell me did the wife think of you cuffing yourself to the bed?"

"I need to be drunk to talk about that."

"Wine usually solves that issue," Hannibal said, "And, Will, I do agree there is enough room for something else other than violence."

[chushanye]

Van, bloodied and dazed with a single-track mind to protect the pilot slurring out encouragement. Marya adjusting the rearview mirror so that it quite literally only frames Van. Her saying "It's good to be back" when she sees Van in action. "I'm never worried when you're around."

bruh. BRUH BRUHBRUH!!

me when the adrenaline starts pumping through my veins but the adrenaline is an old comrade. and she numbs all the pain that comes with the job and she makes me want to follow her to danger just to taste her once more like this is soooo serious we need to have a meeting about this

[thydungeongal]

its wild to see the rebid defence of IP from the tabletop space, like sorry to use your ask box as a bit of a rant but if I said this in view of the friends in question theyd flip.

A group of them are cheering on disney fighting the ai guys or whatever when yesterday they were printing a whole bunch of warhammer proxies and its like guys do these people not realise theyre cheering on for corps like gw to kneecap everyone whos every sold a space marines shoulder on cults? For wotc to send their boys the pinkertons on anyone making githyanki minis or spicy fanart of laezel?

Examples chosen deliberately and all because gw are notorious for taking a grab bag of other series to build their IP, and githyanki were a creation of Some Guy who won a magazine competition but its not like IP laws will ever protect Some Guy over the corpos with money to burn

Yeah wasn't there literally a case of GW trying to argue that sales of third party miniatures were somehow like. Infringing on their profits? Which I think got thrown out of court thankfully but like we don't need to encourage companies to be any more shitty with intellectual property laws. Like heck, wasn't it only like two years ago when WotC tried to effectively take back the OGL?

Anyway I'm not sure if I have a wider point to this response but anyway these big companies are also kind of incentivized to act like this under things as they stand but like we don't need to encourage them

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

Do you think fanfic has become clique-y. I mean that in the sense of people only kudos and comment when it suits them or on a fic that's written by one of their popular fandom friends or who fandom decides is a popular writer that all their followers need to read. I just get the feeling that it's only certain stories that are wanted from certain fic writers which is why they seem to be more popular and the rest gets ignored especially if you aren't in the fandom circle of the popular girls.

Lately I've been thinking that fic kudos, comments and hits are just a fandom popularity contest that doesn't mean your fic is bad. I've read bad ones and wondered why it's got so much kudos/hits/comments and great ones that have very little kudos/comments. Recently I read a bad one and it got a load of kudos and comments all because that trope is popular. Also I think if you aren't in the popular circle of fandom then your fics get ignored with very little kudos and no comments.

Just wondered what your thoughts on it were because I'm at the point where I feel like I should stop writing to completely or just not sharing anything anymore and keeping my writing to myself.

I’m afraid I don’t have any strong opinions about this because it seems to be an issue within specific fandoms and not an entire fanfic space? because I don’t experience anything like this in the fandoms I’m in. either that or I just don’t care enough to notice how many hits/kudos/comments a work has and if it’s “enough” compared to others.

however, while I do encourage people to give kudos and comment on works they like, I also don’t like the idea of guilt tripping anybody into leaving comments or giving kudos. because, as much as I know how loved kudos and comments are as an author, I also know people can just read fanfics for fun. if they don’t have enough energy to leave comments, if they’re only comfortable leaving comments on works whose authors they know or are friends with, or if they’re not comfortable having their username attached to a fic by leaving kudos for whatever reason, they should be allowed that without being shamed. and I as an author should write for me, not for validation from strangers.

fanfic, in my opinion, should be about the joy of getting to write and read.

yes, kudos and comments are super awesome, but you lose that joy of writing and reading the second you write mainly for kudos and comments as an author or read mainly because you feel like you then have to say something nice to the author as a reader. because that feels more like a job — a task — and less like something we do out of love for fun, something that should be our escape when things irl are hard.

so as an author, I’ll always encourage readers to give kudos, leave comments, but they don’t have to if they don’t want to. I’m not gonna demand reasons from people who don’t kudos or comments, or why they comment on others’ works and not mine. that’s not what fanfic is about.

fanfic is just a fun little thing. anybody can read whatever they want. anybody can write whatever they want. anybody can give kudos/comments — or not give kudos/comments — on any works they want (as long as they’re not being a jerk, of course).

what you’re feeling is valid. though I’d like to ask if you write because writing is something that brings you joy, or because you’re looking for kudos and comments — because if it’s the latter then, with all respect, I’m afraid you’re only going to be exhausted constantly trying to chase validation from strangers.

as an author and a reader, I’m not gonna compare any works (be it my own or someone else’s) to others, because getting to write what I love and read what I love is enough.

[strawberrycatwitch]

Edelgard: This system built on eugenics is fundamentally broken. The Church not only upholds but actively promotes this structure. The very concept of nobility is flawed and needs to be dismantled. To do that, the Church’s influence must be removed. I believe in this cause so strongly that I’m begrudgingly working alongside the very people who killed my siblings and inflicted trauma so severe it left me with memory loss and insomnia. Eventually, I plan to betray them when I achieved my goals and they aren’t useful anymore.

Also Claude: I wonder how the world would look without the archbishop’s influence…. What if she died…… jk jk or …😗

Lorenz: says something about opening all the borders contradicts the tenets of the Seiros faith and seriously wonders if that will get in the way of Claude’s goals.

Ferdie: Edelgard opposes the church but does not deny believers the right to pray. Also! I am Ferdinand Von Ae-

Petra when recruited in another house: Edelgard always encouraged me to follow my own path. She made it clear that she wouldn’t be angry if I chose not to side with the Empire.

Other characters: – “Being born with a Crest made my life significantly harder.”

– “As a woman, I’m expected to have children just because I have a Crest.”

– “I was experimented on and forcibly given two Crests.”

– “My sibling died because of their Crest.”

– “My brother died because his obsession with obtaining a Crest drove him to ruin.”

The church: Executes rebels without trial. Isolates minorities by banishing them to live in an isolated underground abyss. Has a traumatized leader that blocks scientific progress and makes questionable decisions based on grief and fear.

Church enjoyers: The church isn’t that bad! They kept the world stable and don’t have that much influence. Rhea hot (agree)

Seteth: we need to defeat Edelgard to to retake our control over Fodlan!

Fodlan: Not the best place to be if you’re a random villager or poor (Dorothea/Ashe). Even before the war Fodlan has many conflicts due to nobility and being isolated. Oppression, inequality, and systemic violence are normalized. I think I’d rather live in Gotham city.

Random people on the internet: Edelgard is h*tler.?? She’s imposing her ideals onto others! She’s siding with TWSITD what a dummy! Idk why they didn’t just make her a villain only. People only like her because of pretty privilege (this opinion is misogynistic) Her fans think she did nothing wrong (most people are joking and of course people are going to defend a misunderstood character when she’s subject to being called a fascist 😵‍💫) Shes also a war criminal (their favorite character is also a war criminal… most of these characters are war criminals. Almost all of these characters are war criminals)

No matter which route you choose in Three Houses, the only reason Fódlan reaches any form of peace or reform is because Edelgard is the antagonist or ally. She is thee catalyst for change (even in failure), not the obstacle to it. She’s the most important character to these stories whether people like it or not.

[lynxgriffin]

Yeah, the fact that Noelle can equip some swords is fairly ominous! And It's definitely interesting that the shard is one of those few objects that doesn't seem to change between worlds. Just really wonder what is going on with the Knight that they can look like that even jumping between worlds!

Yeah, it's honestly something I really appreciate about the fandom. It's also just a cool time capsule to see what people thought might happen between chapters, and what people prioritized, and then how those priorities and ideas shift with new information. If Undertale was in part a warning to players that overusing a game will detach you from its characters and world, I really feel like Deltarune is an encouragement to engage in fandom in order to take characters beyond what's already been set out for them.

Mmm no, I believe that part of chapter 2 did happen...it showed Queen's car in that scene, and the little bit you do drive her car she literally just has you barrel through everything in the way. That said, it really does feel to me like Susie is the lynchpin to change how the prophecy goes, just based on what Gerson tells her throughout chapter four. What that ending is, though, still don't know.

The images we see describing the heroes are frustratingly vague. Even the silhouette of "the girl" I feel has a duck-or-bunny situation where it could read as Susie facing left with her hair behind her, or Noelle with her hood up and wearing the tattered wings. Hell, I'd even say Ralsei is not 100% certain...during the sermon, Catty describes one of the heroes as being fluffy with horns, and sounding cute. Is that Ralsei or Asriel? Who even knows right now!!

It's hard to focus on because I feel like that could apply to any one of the main characters, or to none at all and something else entirely. All options would be bad!

Heck, right now I'm already afraid of the fact that there is a scary amount of foreshadowing that Kris will lose a hand before we're done!

Geez I have no clue how to choose. Hard to go wrong with Black Knife in chapter four, of course...but I think a lot of my favorite tunes are weighted towards chapter four. From Now On, Hammer of Justice, Gya Ha Ha! are all bangers... Right now I've got Second Sanctuary on repeat. Heck, even 12AM might be my new melancholy "Quiet Water"-esque favorite.

It really does seem to be there's some bigger conspiracy at work with people working with each other in different capacities...Kris and the Knight are involved, Kris and Carol are involved, Carol and the Knight are involved, Asgore is in that mix somewhere as well, and possibly also Alvin?? Honestly I'm going to need a Pepe Silvia corkboard or something to try and work it all out in my mind.

Dragon Blazers is such an interesting aspect of the game, because Dragon Blazers is the in-text media that Deltarune uses to talk about itself. (Cat Petterz almost seems like the inverse of this, the off-the-beaten-path game in comparison to Dragon Blazers' more straightforward adaptation.)

And yeah, that very well could indeed be a reference to something happening to Dess...I think that was a thought some folks had even before the new chapters. The "stay in the party" part could just be about reinterpretation telephone, yeah. It'd be really nice if we had a copy of Lord of the Hammer and knowledge of what happens in Dragon Blazers to compare, but I don't think that'll ever happen.

The prophecy is so vague on both the terms and symbology used that it could refer to Susie and Kris or the Vessel and Noelle. I don't know if we can say for sure that it's not one or the other. I lean towards the latter because I do like the idea that Susie is the wrench in the prophecy, but there's just as much evidence towards the fact that it IS supposed to be about Susie and Kris.

But man, after Susie's whole development where she's so excited about finally being picked for something, about actually being a hero...getting that rug pulled out from under her is going to really hurt if it happens.