#the encouragement we all need.................
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There should be a way to borrow the motivation and confidence authors get from fanfic comments before they actually post the fic why hasn't science figured this one out yet
#like... i need the most amount of encouragement and motivation in the last few legs of writing something before I actually post it#and i do love receiving comments after i post!#they make all of the labor worthwhile#but it takes so much creative energy to finish a fanwork and that energy has to be fed through the entire process#so im proposing we find a way to borrow encouragement from the future in order to finish and share things!#clare screams
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Desperate Soul



â.ă.:*ă»Â°â.ă.:*ă»Â°â.ă.:*ă»Â°â.ă.:*ă»Â°â .ă.:*
A/N; I said I was gonna do it and here we are đ This felt like me exorcising a demon out of my body so I hope you all enjoy đ€ also just quickly want to say thank you so so much for 2k notes on my fic Work Song, thatâs absolutely insane and I never expected it to get that much attention <3 it means so much to me and encourages me to keep writing :)
Summary; Remmick wants a family more than anything.
Content; NSFW 18+, AFAB reader, human reader, breeding kink, like thatâs literally all this is, pure filth, scenting, possessive Remmick, ovulation, very desperate Remmick, married to Remmick, fingering, piv sex, overstimulation, getting pinned, multiple orgasms (both), begging, biting, drooling, dirty talk, pregnancy mentions, cuddling
Wc; 2.8k
â.ă.:*ă»Â°â.ă.:*ă»Â°â.ă.:*ă»Â°â.ă.:*ă»Â°â .ă.:*
âRem- Remmick-â
His name falls from your mouth like a plea, one that the man above you doesnât adhere to, his mind too preoccupied with keeping you in place. The only sign that he heard you is a low moan that originates from deep in his chest, reverberating against your back. Youâre trapped on your stomach beneath him, his hands firm on your hips and his body so snug against yours itâs like you could be one entity. His nose is buried in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent while his erection rubs against your ass through the thick material of his pants.
âSmell so goddamn sweet, sugar.â Remmick mumbles, words already beginning to slur with his desire. Thereâs an edge to them, something gravelly and rough that makes you shiver. âDrove me crazy, could smell it all the way from the damn yard, how ready this pussy is fer me.â
Itâs always unnerved you how inhuman his sense of smell is, somehow able to pick up when your body is shifting through cycles. Remmick acts as your own personal tracker, like how heâll follow you around like a dog whenever your period is about to start. Then thereâs times like these when youâre woken by him pinning you down, pressing in to you so deeply that you know itâs the time when your body is the most accepting to him. It makes him feral in a way blood never could.
Remmick groans against your skin, his lips moving down your shoulder, leaving a trail of saliva behind. Drool threatens the corners of his mouth, the scent of you so intoxicating that it has him reeling. His cock strains in its confines, aching in a way bordering on painful just for you, always for you. His hands are trembling when he steadily bunches your slip further up your body, treating you with a reverence like youâre something to be worshipped at an altar. Goosebumps raise along your exposed flesh, both from the kiss of cool air and the anticipation.
âSheâs begginâ me to fill âer. God I can fuckinâ smell it.â He whines, the beginnings of his fangs just barely scraping against your shoulder blade. âGonna pump you so full baby, I promise.â
You moan into the pillow in response, a heavy flush making your face feel as though itâs on fire. He always gets so filthy during this time, his dirty vows ringing in your ears and making your back arch into his chest. He hums appreciatively, his fingers hooking into your underwear and tugging it down your legs. The noise he makes is loud and desperate when the scent of your pussy hits him, your arousal already making your folds glisten. âSuch a good girl, sugar, always ready fâme. Can tell how bad ya need me.â Remmick coos while he draws two fingers through the lips of your cunt with abandon, collecting that slick so itâs easy when he pushes them into your wetness.
You shudder with a breathless whimper, nails digging into the sheets beneath you as he sets a steady pace. His thumb finds your clit, the calloused pad rubbing circles against the bundle of nerves while pleasure sparks through your veins. He knows just how to work you open, scissoring those gummy walls and pressing against the right spots to ensure you feel him. You can tell how eager he is, nothing about him slow as he builds you up to your climax, as he buries those fingers into you as deep as theyâll go. Itâs never quite enough to fill you completely, but it creates that knot in your gut just the same. Your eyes water and your mouth hangs open when your first orgasm hits you, when you clench around him as release rips through you with a moan. Your body succumbs to him so easily, with him practically knowing every inch of you inside and out.
âYeah, thatâs it. Just like that, baby.â Remmick encourages you, riding you through that orgasm as his movements begin to slow. You hear him fumbling with his belt at the same time, groaning when his leaking, agonizingly hard cock is finally freed. He muffles the sound into your shoulder, his panting breath fanning across your neck. âNeed you, sugar- fuckinâ gâdamn- need to fill this sweet pussy with my cum-â
You squirm with his words, a mewl coming from you. âPlease, Remmick-â His name is more of a gasp coming from you but it affects him just the same, his fingers digging harder into your hips as his cock drags through your folds. Youâre shaking from the tease of it, of feeling his length just barely catching your entrance, your chest heaving. He bites his bottom lip between his teeth, moaning when blood blooms under the pressure.
Itâs when that first taste of iron hits his tongue that his cock finally sinks into your aching heat. He bottoms out on that first thrust in, his hips sitting flush to yours as he folds himself over you, so close you can feel every inhale and hear every little noise he makes deep in his throat. You keen at the fullness of him, of the way his thick cock presses against your walls, pulsing with the desire of release, hot and heavy inside you. âOhh yeah, she want it too, donât she? Wants me to breed her nice and full, make sure it fuckinâ takes, huh?â He spits that last phrase, bitter at the fact he still hasnât taken root in your womb despite his⊠restless efforts, those vampire traits slashing through his chances. You whine in response as he draws out, dragging his cock through you, making you feel every inch on its way before he brutally slams back in.
You can feel how the bed jolts beneath you, beneath Remmickâs desperate, hungry pace. His hands are on either side of you, the tips of his claws sliding from their sheaths to rip at the blankets around you, the ones youâd been wrapped snugly in just an hour prior. The drool thatâs begun to drip from his mouth falls along your bare skin, smeared by his own body as it moves against you, both of you becoming coated in his feral desire. If you could get a good look at him you would see the way his eyes are burning a bright red like the hottest fire, his short black hair a ruffled, sweaty mess.
His lips suck marks into your neck, his sharpened teeth just barely teasing the arteries flowing with sweet, mortal blood. You curse when he nips at you, not enough to do real damage, just enough to break you out of your lust induced trance and let a few drops of red bubble to the surface. âGoddamn animal.â You manage to snap at him, only for him to hum in agreement, greedily licking up the blood, your glorious taste blooming on his tongue.
Remmick releases your skin with a pop to pant openly against you, his hands returning to your waist in his need to touch you, his wedding band creating an indent in your waist with how hard he holds you. âS-so good, sugar, grippinâ me so tight.â He whines. âI know ya want it, want me to give you a baby, shit-â
Youâd agree with him if you could speak, if his cock wasnât punching the breath from your lungs. Youâve always wanted to raise a child one day, to have a little bundle of joy to brighten your home, to be like those mothers in church with their kids that run and laugh in the yard after service, telling them not to get their clothes dirty. Youâd accepted that the chances of it happening with Remmick are incredibly slim, but thereâs still some hope that sparks between you. Vampire-human hybrids have been born before, thereâs just so few of them that thereâs barely any true record of their existence.
You yelp when a palm rests on your stomach and then youâre getting pulled back into him to meet each of his thrusts, your ass in the air and your knees having to come under you to support your weight. You feel him deeper this way, every vein and ridge of his girth molded for your cunt. You scrabble at the sheets as pleasure builds, as your walls flutter and tighten around him, making him release a guttural, animalistic groan. His head falls back, his fangs gleaming in his open mouth from his drool, his skin flushed and shining with sweat.
Remmick can never get over how pretty you look when youâre beneath him, your back arching into his touch, your form so beautifully pliant. Your scent continues to cloud his thoughts, making his head swim with only that primal need deep in his bones to fill you, to watch his cum drip from your hole, to claim you in every sense. When you smell like this, so sweet and ripe and perfect, he wants nothing more than to keep you right here in this bedroom all day and night until his seed takes, to keep you wet and bred real nice, to keep you comfortable and craving just him, only him. He knows he canât, knows that eventually youâll shove him off so you can work on your writings, so instead heâll just make sure you leave with every drop of him inside you.
Youâre chanting his name now, your pussy gripping him in a dangerous way. âRem- gonna cum Remmick, please-â You gasp, your muscles tensing, your noises growing in pitch.
âI know, baby, me too.â He grunts, wedging a hand between you to rub at your clit. You nearly scream at the added pleasure, your limbs twitching at the sensation, your cunt fluttering as he yanks you closer and closer to that edge. âSo fuckinâ good, sugar- gonna give you everything-â
You cum together, his hot spend painting your cunt white at the same time you gush around his cock. His moans become breathless, his nails digging in just enough to prick you as he gets lost in your combined release. Your body heaves as it tries to take in air, your arms and legs going limp, aftershocks making you tingle. You feel Remmickâs forehead press against your shoulder, gentle kisses laid against your skin with praises whispered in their wake while he remains buried deep in your pussy. He manages to let go of your hip to find your hand, holding it tightly in his own, relishing in your warmth and your matching wedding ring.
You jolt when he shifts, when he ruts into you almost experimentally. Thatâs when you realize how hard he still is, how that fire in him still hasnât been doused. That god damn vampire stamina.
âRem- wait-â You beg, attempting to scrabble away from the overstimulation heâs threatening your tired body with, but he doesnât give you a chance. He tugs you right back, sinking into your pussy as his cum drools out around his length, making a mess of the blankets.
âNuh uh, baby, I still got some left in me. Just be good for me, sugar.â He coos, thrusting slow like heâs trying to be nice. âGotta make sure it sticks, gotta fill ya âtil Iâm all you know.â
You whimper pitifully, your cheeks shiny with tears and your mouth dropped open. He sighs contentedly, listening to the obscene squelch of his cum inside you, pride blazing within him when he looks at the ruin heâs made of your cunt. âBeautiful thing⊠my perfect girl.â Remmick says reverently, leaning down to kiss along your shoulders and up your neck, savoring the saltiness of your sweat. He groans, his pace ramping up in speed with his desire, his nose nuzzling against your throat. His next words are whispered and broken, like heâs scared to speak them. âPlease⊠please take me, sweetheart.â
He wants little else than to give you a baby, to have you heavy with his child. He doesnât know how long heâs spent craving a family, wishing to have something to truly call his own, to have something thatâs part of him. That desire has followed him into immortality, still stuck in the back of his mind, refusing to let him go. Being able to give you this would be like proving he can still make something good, something pure and sweet, proving thereâs still something human deep down inside of him. Thereâs some nights when he asks those damned gods above if heâs suffered enough, if he could just have this one mercy, this one thing that heâs always wanted. They have yet to answer him.
You whine under him, squeezing his hand tightly as pleasure wracks through you. Youâre already on the cusp of your third orgasm, your shared release lazily running down your folds and making you shudder. His cock continues to ram into your abused hole, chasing his own release. You can barely think, barely speak, your mind wiped blank from the onslaught. You startle when your entire world tilts as Remmick suddenly lifts you with ease, holding you tight against his chest with a hand loose on your throat and an arm slung across your tired body to keep you upright.
You moan louder as youâre thrusted down onto him, your legs bracketing his own and spread wide so heâs as deep as he could possibly be. Itâs from this angle that you can at last properly see his face, your neck twisting to meet his lidded red eyes, so full of his love and need for you. Your hand reaches back into his black hair, bringing him in so you can kiss him as you tumble over the edge. He swallows down your whimpers eagerly, groaning in tandem. He follows soon after, your combined cum dribbling out to stain your inner thighs.
You separate from him with a gasp when he still doesnât stop thrusting up into you after barely a moments pause. Itâs all you can do to say his name desperately, the sound garbled by your cries. Remmick merely shushes you, kissing at your tears. âJust one more baby, you can do it, câmon.â He encourages, finding your clit again and rubbing frantic circles. Your body jerks, your feet pushing against the sheets to try and escape to no avail. He hums at the struggle, his grip tightening. Something akin to a growl rumbles in his chest. âWanna see you so full, sweet thing. Wanna see you fuckinâ swollen with my kids.â
He bites at your shoulder with a loud groan, listening to the way you sob and plead for mercy, your core tightening almost painfully. The way your pussy grips him is fucking divine, so tight and hot and wet around his cock, filled to the brim with his cum. You cry out when your next orgasm slams into you like a truck, your eyes rolling back and your nails digging in to any part of him you can reach. âThatâs it, my good girl.â He praises, his words slightly slurred, kissing away the sting of his teeth on your skin. He breaks a few seconds after you, coming with a loud curse, shooting a third load into your poor cunt as his muscles bunch up.
Remmick wouldâve collapsed on top of you if he didnât put his arm out in the last second, easing you both down instead. His sweaty chest presses against your back, both of you desperately gulping down air. You donât know how long you lay like that, stuck together with a mixture of cum and sweat and trying to catch your breath. Youâve never felt so exhausted in your life, every bit of energy sucked out of you and rendering you immobile. You really donât understand how the fuck Remmick still has anything left after that, but he manages to prop himself up, scooping an arm under you and shifting you so you can lay on top of him.
You canât help wincing at the way his cum drips out of you without his cock to plug you up, but youâre honestly too tired to care. He slings a strong arm across your back to keep you right against him while he brushes the hair from your face. His kisses are gentle, his claws and fangs retracted now that heâs basically been drained of all heâs worth. âMy sweet girl, so good fâme.â Remmick murmurs, running his fingers soothingly along your skin, leaving pleasant goosebumps in their wake. âLove you, baby.â
You canât remember if you said it back or just mumbled something incoherent but he seems happy nonetheless, his content sigh ruffling the hairs on the top of your head. You gladly snuggle into him, your eyes closed and already drifting off.
You both fall asleep, too exhausted to do much else, hoping that maybe this will be the one.
â.ă.:*ă»Â°â.ă.:*ă»Â°â.ă.:*ă»Â°â.ă.:*ă»Â°â .ă.:*
Tags; @killora1708
#this is my most diabolical work yet#he would be the biggest family man youâve ever seen#no one can convince me otherwise#remmick#sinners remmick#remmick x reader#remmick smut#vampire fanfic
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Ikigai, Part 9
Summary: Youâre desperately in love with a man who already belongs to another.
Ikigai (n.) (Japanese): "A reason for being," the thing that gets you up in the morning.
Trigger Warnings: brief mentions of suicide, romanticization of suicide, mentions of cannibalism, mentions of murder
Part 8
âHave fun.â
His voice is light, teasing like it usually is. But you can tell there's something more underneath that facade. Even as Sylus hands you his black card, you know there's more there.
Heâs unsatisfied with something. He wants something.
It's the way he looks at you. Like he's craving. Hungry. You don't see this side of him often, but it usually comes out during when you need to dress fancy for some party or gathering.
Don't dwell on it. You have work to do.
You snatch his card from him, careful to not even graze his skin. His touch has a way of distracting you. And those kinds of distractions are the last thing you need.
âWe shall.â
Sylus gives you a strange look. You just stare on forward, beckoning him to give you the card. Then he chuckles and his eyes soften to that special gaze that makes your heart melt before he hands it over. God are you glad things are at least semi-normal between the two of you.
You lean into Miss Hunter, loop your arms through hers, and begin to walk away.
âMe and Miss Hunter are off. Donât worry. Iâll keep an eye on her and make sure she isnât too good of bait.â
âI donât need a babysitter,â Miss Hunter mutters.
âAnd I am hardly a babysitter,â you smile at her. âIâm merely looking out for my new friend because sheâs clearly a trouble magnet.â
Miss Hunter scoffs at you. Sylus just watches the two of you with a smile that speaks to something deeper in you.
âAnd you? Who will keep an eye on you, sweetie?â
âEveryone,â you reply with a smirk. âBecause thatâs my job.â
Thatâs why he called you Gamayun, after all. Because you bewitch and charm people with the words from your mouth. Sometimes you told truths, hidden prophecies and tales of the past. Sometimes you told lies, dark exaggerated whispers and catatraphizing things from the smallest details.
Gamayun wasnât just an empty promise of Sylusâ love. It's more than that. Itâs your story. Itâs you. And thatâs why you love the nickname so much despite the pain it causes.
You exchange a look with Sylus before he leaves to deal with the traitor. His carmine eyes and heartfelt expression draw you in. For a moment, heâs the siren between the two of you.
But than the god of death that he is, and the origin of your own nickname for him, claws its way to overlap that beautiful face of his. That part of him is struggling to come out right now. He doesnât want to become that fearsome person, and just remain in his other state.
He stays loyal to his duty, though. Much like you do. You wish you both didn't have to.
You focus on Miss Hunter in order to drown out those thoughts. Watching her go wild with Sylusâ card, after you encouraged her multiple times to do so, brings a smile to your face.
But, at the same time, you canât help but mentally check out. Your mind drifts to simpler times. Times before you were in love with a taken man and the two of you were just boss and employee.
The hostess of the gala stands out in her intricate blue dress. Crushed seashells along her trim dazzle like diamonds. Her deep blue makeup perfectly complements her pale skin.
Just her getup alone reminds you of the mermaids you've seen in books as a kid. Her flickers make the semblance all the more obvious.
Flashes of tattoos on her face and a scaly tail where her legs should be. They bring with them a hum in the air, and the scent of salt. But they vanish just as quickly as they come.
She's beautiful in both states. Beautiful and deceptively fragile.
Because if someone was just looking at her for the first time with no context, they couldn't imagine the sheer amount of blood on her hands.
Kai is a delicate woman, small and unassuming. But you know better from the stories youâve dug up and the ones your boss has told you.
âA woman with an ice-cold heart,â all the rumors said. Sylus just said sheâs a ruthless cockroach unwilling to die, which he could respect.
She seems so untouchable. You and Sylus make your entrance to her gala, you in his colors and arms locked, yet she doesnât even spare a glance. She just talks. Talks and ignores all gazes that turn to the new people in the room.
She may ignore your presence, but you canât ignore hers. Not with that color that bleeds into her thread. Not with the stain of death that hangs upon it.
A dead soulmate, her thread reads. One that took his own life.
Itâs the rarest of threads for you to see. Because most tended to follow their soulmates. A soulmateâs love is the most treasured love, after all. And to live without that love isnât a life worth living in the eyes of most.
Maybe thatâs why she has such a vicious repetition? Maybe thatâs why sheâs known for having such a dead heart? Because people sensed there was something fundamentally wrong with her, much like they do with you.
You chase those cursed thoughts away as soon as they come. They only bring misfortune, and tonight, you need anything but that. You need Kaiâs fortune.
âThis place is rather stuffy,â you comment loudly enough for the hostess to hear once youâre close.
Kaiâs expression doesnât change, but the look in her eyes do. They shift to one of curiosity and inquiry.
Most people wouldnât dare to insult a party to straight to the hostessâ face. Especially when said party is being thrown by her. So as you've hopedd, she's drawn to you, even if she's unaware of that.
From what you've researched about her, she is a woman who values honesty. So while it may pain you to be so blunt, being forthcoming is the best way to sway her. That, and if you can find her single weak point.
Because someone like Kai doesnât do all this without reason. You need to find that reason.
Of course, there were rumors. Secret children. Dying parents. But, seeing her in person confirms only one: a spouse.
Kai doesnât wear a ring on her finger. She doesnât even have a tan-line to indicate that she wears one outside of work. Itâs her thread that tells you of another. You don't get the details. But this person, this mystery spouse, is kind. With a heart so warm it thawed even Kai's.
Thatâs who you need to find.
âApologies, Mrs. Kerr,â you plaster on a genuine smile. âDidnât know you were so close. I may look like a dragon at the moment, but I assure you, I do not possess the eyes of one.â
You fiddle with the fake, but realistic, horns on your head as you say this.
âSeems you got my gift,â Kaiâs voice is smooth, but absent of any emotion.
âGift, you say? Thatâs what youâd call this?â Sylus gestures to you and him.
For whatever reason, Kai decided to make her gala themed. Non-humans, to be exact. And you and Sylus are dragons, fiends, according to what she sent you alongside the two invites. Said invite had clear instructions on how you wouldnât be let in if you werenât wearing your designated outfit.
You knew from the second you saw the outfits (after getting over you initial shock that she had your measurements for some reason, and knew of your employment under Sylus so quickly) that Sylus wouldnât be in a good mood during this gathering.
Heâs already glaring daggers at anyone who dares to gaze at him for too long. And heâs touched his horns so many times, youâre surprised they donât have handprints in them.
However, he still manages to keep that same arrogant smirk and carefree attitude. Or, at least, he manages to fake it enough to make it seem that way. You know better due to your power.
Kai seems to know better as well. She keeps her eyes locked onto Sylus as she briefly greets and waves off other guests. Her face remains blank, but her eyes and thread tell of amusement. She notices your bossâ discomfort just like you do.
âOf course itâs a gift, Sylus,â she casually says his first name when others would say it in fear or would just use his last name. âWhat else would you call this?â
âYou donât want to know what I would call this, Kai,â he spits out her name like itâs an insult.
âYouâre right, I donât. Maybe your new employee can tell me what she thinks of her outfit? Everyone else has just given me the best of compliments, so Iâd like to hear something honest for a change.â
The two most dangerous people in the room give you their full attention. You take it in stride, relying on years and years of practice not to shrink under their judging gazes.
Starting to feel like weâre not on the same side, you think as Sylusâ eyes in particular bare into you.
âI find them quite telling, Mrs. Kerr.â
âTelling of what?â
âTelling of your relationship to my boss, and why he decided to drag me here of all place for our first outing,â you give your full attention to Sylus before you continue. âSpeaking of which, said boss needs to make himself scarce if he wants this to work properly.â
Sylus tilts his head at you, leaning to whisper in your ear, âWhat do you think youâre doing?â
âSetting you up for success. Now shoo,â you whisper back into his ear.
âHow demanding you are, Miss Negotiator. And here I thought I was your boss.â
Sylusâ tone is the same as ever, but the glint in his eyes tells a different story. One of how he doesnât appreciate you ordering him around and disrupting your dynamic. One of danger and cautioning you not to cross a line.
You soldier on, âYou brought me here to work. So mind your ego, and let me, because she and you clearly have bad blood and Iâd rather not have to navigate that all night.â
Rather than taking offense by your blunt words like a normal person, Sylus just gets more amused.
âWhat makes you think we have bad blood? This could just be our way communicating.â
You scoff, glancing quickly to see if Kai noticed, but she's already back to greeting guests.
âDonât insult me, boss. Even a blind and deaf person could notice how much you two want to rip into each other.â
A thought suddenly pops up in your head after you say this.
âWhy in the world do you want to do business with a woman you clearly despise, and who hates you in return?â
âEver heard of keeping your friends close, but keeping your enemies closer, sweetie?â
You jab him in the arm for the stupid nickname, one youâve told him repeatedly not use on you because that sort of nonsense should only be used with his soulmate. Heâs ignored you every time, too entertained by your flustered reactions.
âBusiness requires mutual trust, does it not?â
He laughs. âNot here, sweetie. Here, business can come about merely because two people want to spite someone else.â
He looks you dead in the eye with a sinister smirk, âOr because the desperation to live is just that powerful.â
Sylus finally walks away once he says that. Shivers run down your spine. His words are a reminder of why youâre really here, on why Sylus decided you persuading one of his enemies to work with him was your first task.
Heâs measuring your worth. Heâs seeing if he should keep you around.
For all that you two joke and banter, thereâs always a voice in the back of your head that wonders if heâll change his mind about sparing you. You may not have known what your old auction house was doing precisely, but there may have been others that died there that were the same.
Youâre here to prove that you were different than those buried in the rubble. And prove it you would.
Kai turns back to you, âFinished?â
âOf course, Mrs. Kerr. Apologies for my bossâ behavior. Listening to reason isnât his strong suit.â
You feel a bit guilty about insulting Sylus, but than you remember his numerous threats during your first week at his base and immediately brush that off.
âI get the feeling you and I know that better than anyone.â
âTell me about it,â you roll your eyes before schooling your expression to a more serious one. âAnd now that heâs gone, how about we talk business?â
âBold one, arenât we?â
âI was under the impression you valued honesty, Mrs. Kerr. Iâd rather not insult your intelligence, and instead would like to negotiate in good faith than deceit.â
âGood faith? From Sylus?â She sneers, the most emotion sheâs shown thus far.
âNot Sylus. Me.â
âYou work for him. Isnât that the same thing?â
âIf we were remotely the same, I highly doubt youâd give me the time of day.â
âMaybe Iâm giving you the time of day because youâre similar,â Kai takes a sip of a drink someone had offered her, frowns, and than says, âBecause at least Sylus is never boring. Two of him equals twice the fun, right?â
You laugh, âTwo of that man would drive me insane. And I'd imagine that would be the same for you, no?â
Kai shakes her head in humor, face still as blank as ever.
âNo, youâre right. Just the image in my head of that is nightmare fuel enough. Two of him means twice the explosions every time we meet, and I donât think my people would want to deal with that anymore than I do.â
Her words give you pause for concern.
âExplosions? Thatâs a theme with him?â
Kai gives you a questioning look for you to continue.
âThe first time we met he blew up my old workplace. Granted, my old boss deserved it, but still⊠didnât think that was an every day occurrence for him.â
âI donât know about every day, but he tends to explode something every time I meet him. Usually me. Granted, this is usually after weâve had another⊠disagreement.â
She sounds proud of herself. That pride is wiped away in a second, and she levels you with a harsh gaze.
âHe knows we arenât friends. Or allies in any capacity. And that weâll turn a gun on one another for the right price. So why has he sent you to me?â
That ice cold gaze of her beautiful eyes would freeze anyone else. Years of customer service and dealing with others far more trigger happy than her allows you not to waver.
âBecause heâs testing me,â you decide not to beat around the bush. âGetting you of all people to work with him will prove my worth.â
Kai isnât fazed by your words.
âAnd you think you can do that?â
You shrug. âWhy not? Youâre a woman of extreme intelligence, and youâve worked with him in the past for the right price. I just need to find out what price will make you stay and what it entails.â
Silence falls between the two of you. And you almost believe you see the ghost of a small fall on her lips. But her face is back to its usual blank expression before you can even blink.
âYa know,â thereâs a drawl in her tone, an accent leaking out that wasnât there before. âMost people are never this upfront. Even when being honest or acting in "good faith" like you claim."
âI worked at an auction house before Sylus hired me. Trust me, Iâm well aware. But I find such conversation to be desperately dull. Much like most parties.â
âI hope youâre not including mine.â
âWe shall see,â you glance around, looking for a certain something for a moment, but you spot your destination easily. âAw! Thereâs something to spice things up.â
You gesture to her open bar.
âI wonder who suggested that? It stands out from the usual things at these gatherings.â
âMy spouse,â youâre a bit surprised at Kaiâs admittance; it isnât public knowledge that sheâs married, after all. âSylus knows Iâm married. And even he didnât, youâd of all people wouldâve figured it out.â
âYou flatter me.â
The two of walk to the bar. Many eyes follow you, but no one dares to approach Kai.
You see Sylus in your peripheral vision, sipping on some expensive drink youâve seen your old boss drink occasionally, and surrounded by people who talk at him. Sylus just looks at them bored out of his mind. His signature smirk is plastered on for appearance's sake.
Thereâs desperation in those people. For his attention. For his cooperation. For his money. And he just stands there with that familiar, arrogant, expression.
His eyes flicker over to you. You put on an award-winning smile, and that smirk of his deepens to a real one. It makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand upright.
Because heâs judging you, studying you in ways you didnât think possible. This is the first job where you had any danger from your own boss; the others hired you under different circumstances.
You brush him off as soon as you get to the bar. You had a plan to enact, after all.
When the woman behind the counter turns to you and Kai, you give her a sweet smile.
âWhy not take a break, honey?â
The woman gives you a look. Kai doesnât react.
âIâll take over. I was a mixologist not long ago, and I believe your employer wants a drink more to her tastes. You seem tired, and Iâd hate to put any pressure on you when Iâm the one being so nosy.â
Kai tilts her head at you before she addresses the woman, âDo as she says.â
The woman thanks you profusely, and practically sprints out of the ballroom. You walk yourself to behind the counter, scanning the spread of high quality ingredients with a keen eye.
My old place was never this decked out, you think to yourself as you search for just the right things.
You get to work pretty quickly, Kai watching as you fly around from shelf to shelf. But you avoid any alcohol like the plague. From what you dug up on Kai, and your observations of her thread, she hates alcohol.
Her father drank so much to the point where she had to raise herself and her brother alone. On his rare days of coherance, he'd throw bottles at the siblings, screaming how Kai's brother murdered their mother.
Her soulmate used to use it on their bad days before their death. Alcohol is symbol of dread to Kai, a painful wound that will probably never properly heal.
You can relate to that somewhat, with you aversion to romance. Not on the same level, but thatâs what empathyâs for; you donât need to have the same experience to have an idea of what sheâs been through. That, and you can read her soul.
Thereâs turmoil as she watches you work, curiosity and a bit of fear mixing together to make a cocktail of emotions in her heart. Outwardly, she doesnât show any of this. Her inner world is locked away.
Another thing you two have in common. Youâve been burned by the world far too many times to trust it with your fragile heart.
And itâs why youâve been so truthful with her so far. Kai and youâve been lied to and lying your entire lives. Shedding that skin and becoming someone that isnât like that for her, someone she can trust⊠that will do far more good than any savvy business proposal or story.
So you work to give her a flavorful drink sheâll love, reading her thread and working in your experience to create the perfect blend. The second she takes a sip of it once you slide it towards her makes all the effort worth it.
âNot bad, Miss Negotiator,â itâs as much of a compliment youâll ever get from the woman, and you'll take it gladly.
âWhy thank you for the kind words, Mrs. Kerr.â
You give a little bow as begin your next drink. No oneâs ordered yet, but some of Kaiâs guests are curious and look at you.
The waiters obey your orders, delivering each personalized drink to correct person. An arms dealer here, and a jewel thief there. Each have varying reactions from mirth to shock to almost a little bit of fear over the strange woman who entered with Sylus knowing them so well.
Speaking of your boss, you save his drink for last. Both for the drama and because than that puts him into the spotlight once more. The mysterious bartender and her boss⊠eyes will turn to the both of you.
But, eyes are apparently already on your boss. And not for anything good. You watch the last waiter go with his drink and spot the towering man in a scuffle. He stands with his arms crossed, clearly having the time of his life. You can barely see him, but that much is obvious.
Now the woman that stands in front of him is anything but that. Her face is scrunched up in ways you didnât think possible. And judging by how she looks, sheâs screaming at him. Her getup suggests a rich heiress, and thereâs only one of that here from what you remember of the guest list.
Miss Andrea Crimson, the only child and heir of one of the many gangs in the N109 zone. But the Crimsons were different; theyâve been here the longest, have one of the farthest reaches, and are infamously ruthless to the point where even Sylus and you cringe.
People have died by that girlâs command for the smallest infractions. Her father gives into her every whim. And there were rumors of there being a second child that was pushed out of the family because of her jealousy.
She also has a history with your boss. Once in love him, now full of a hatred you can almost admire for how deep it runs. To Sylus, sheâs a nuisance he canât get rid of; to you, sheâs yet another obstacle for you to conquer.
You politely excuse yourself to Kai, who waves you off while sipping her drink. She watches you go, though. From interest in what youâre doing, or the commotion youâre going to, you donât know. Either way, that little bit of attention sheâs paying to you will work out in your favor.
Once you arrive at Sylusâ side, youâre not given much of an opportunity to speak.
âWhat?â Andrea spits at you. âYou his new toy, now?â
That pisses you off. Originally, you were going approach this woman with kindness, respect. A little firmness, but nothing too crazy.
That goes out the expensive, decorated window to moment she addresses you as a toy. Maybe because of that phase you had as a late teen, throwing yourself at anyone as some poor way of getting the love you crave? Maybe because youâve worked in several places that saw you as a mere decoration?
Or maybe itâs because of what she said says about Sylus? Your new boss is harsh, but fair. Terrifying, yet reliable. And hearing her say that, imply that he treats lives and people so cheap, chips at your very soul.
Moments like these make you wonder if your lack of soulmate makes you care so much, or you were stripped of one because youâd care for others more than them.
âOh, get a hold of yourself, Andrea. I and many others do not have the time for to interrupting important business because this man would not fuck you.â
That shuts her up quickly. But youâre not finished.
âI get that youâve gotten everything youâve ever wanted in life until he said no to you. The drugs. The money that keeps coming despite all your failed businesses. The multiple affairs, some of which whose spouses are here. Even the murder of your own sibling was covered up for you."Â
You speak these words with certainty and authority as you get closer to Andrea. Her expression drops, and the blood drains from her face. Her dark skin doesnât blush, but you can practically feel the warmth from her body.
âHow did youâŠâ
âI know more, Andrea,â you speak quieter, in her ear. âI know that youâve stolen every little accomplishment from them. I know you framed them as the problem child while you were the perfect daughter. I know you stole their voice from them. And I know why youâve really come here.â
âWhyâŠâ
âDo you really want me to spell it out for you? Surely thereâs enough of a brain in that head of yours to not want to hear it?"
She trembles, and you relish in it.
âWhat do you want?â
âLeave my boss and me alone, and Iâll consider keeping my mouth shut. Because you have a treasure trove of secrets that Iâll be happy to spill if you donât.â
Andrea shuffles away, head still hung up high despite her embarrassment. You can respect her for that much.
A slow clap from behind you causes you to drag your eyes away from her.
âNicely done, Miss Diplomat,â Sylusâ ever present grin both amuses and frustrates you.
âI wouldnât have had to do that if youâd have learned to keep that mouth of yours shut.â
âWhat would be the fun in that, sweetie?â
You internally roll your eyes at the foolish man before you. But, you plaster on your best customer service smile on the outside.
âAnyone ever told you that youâre far too aggressive?â Your tone is sickly sweet.
âAny suggestions I donât consider are filed under ânever heard of itâ. Besides, you handled yourself quite well.âÂ
âOnly because I must in order to keep your organization from collapsing and from you being constantly on everyoneâs most wanted list. And if anything I tell you to do is in that ânever heard of itâ file, I will being killing you myself.âÂ
Maybe your conversations with Kai have made you stupidly bold. You mentally scold yourself for being so⊠insolent. But Sylus just seems to find the whole thing hilarious, so you relax.
At least you can have fun with your new boss. Even if he does tend to like threatening you. A lot.
âAfter all that effort you went through not only to get me to let you work with me, but also today?âÂ
âItâs all a part of my elaborate scheme.âÂ
âWhat scheme?â
âOne filed under âSylus is not privy to this.â Deal with it.â
He chuckles at you. Then, his tone takes on a more serious one.
âHow do things with Kai fare?â
âSwimmingly, all things considered.â
âAnd what things are you considering?â
âYou,â you say before leaving. You can hear Sylus laughing again as you do.
The journey back to Kai is a quick one, with people already back to their normal business as if nothing had happened. Perhaps because most of them see drama like this every other day.
âApologies,â you say to Kai as soon as you get behind the bar again. âBut I simply could not let such a woman make a scene at your gala. And my boss certainly wasnât doing anything to stop her.â
âItâs fine. I invited Sylus because he attracts drama and entertainment like that. For some reason, people are too afraid to say things like that to my face."
Because youâre far more dangerous than even Sylus, you think.
Kaiâs reputation is even more brutal than Sylusâ. Drowning entire companies in deserts. Creating jewelry from the bones of those sheâs killed. Driving people to suicide with her voice alone. Even rumors of cannabalism.
The woman is deadly, terrifying. But, for good reason.
âWell⊠no matter how entertaining he is, thereâs a limit to how much Iâm willing to stand being thrown at him. He may not be swayed by anyoneâs opinion of him, but I sure am.â
Your words are flowery, targeting what you know of what Kai feels towards her spouse. Thereâs tinges of worry in her thread. Thereâs brief flashes of her mystery spouse being a doormat, and the fear that incites. Time after time, the person she loves lets their family walk over them.
Your words strike that cold heart of hers. Strike at the very core of who she is, and honestly, who you are: a protector. Because those flowery words werenât just that. They were the honest truth.
Youâre grateful to Sylus. Youâll never say that to his face, but you are. For this new job. For the freedom he allows you. For the bits of kindness he shows like ordering things you like to eat to the base or giving you the latest tools for jewelry making or giving you a rare gem or entertaining your drink mixing hobby.
Because despite how he threatens you, he still manages to treat you well. Which is far more than any of your previous bosses did.
âYou care an awful lot for a man you havenât worked with for long.â
You donât ask how she knows this. Kai probably has an extensive information network, and sheâs not stupid. With her history with Sylus, if you werenât new, she wouldâve met you sooner.
So you donât ask that. No need to insult a woman who would, without hesitation, smash the glass in her hand to slit your throat and stain her pale skin a deep red. Sheâs killed over less.
âDo I need a reason to care for another? Itâd be a lonely existence without it.â
âYes it would,â she mumbles with the most emotion youâve heard from her all night.
Once again, you tap into Kaiâs deeper feelings. Thereâs a sense of loneliness that permeates her thread. An aching, festering, loneliness not unlike your own.
Thereâs a weight to that loneliness. One of responsibility. One of duty. And one of longing. Again, so similar to you, yet so different.
Part of you thinks that this why your boss and her donât get along. Because they feel like theyâre staring into a mirror.
You, on the other hand, take that similarity in stride. Itâs another way for you to connect to your target.
âWhyâre ya taking such an indirect approach to getting what you want from me? After all, ya clearly know ye way around getting to know people and their secrets. Why not use mine against me?"
Kaiâs voice is back to her usual flat tone. Her body language is lax, but blank. She gives nothing away to normal people.
But you arenât normal people. You see her thread, a piece of her soul leaking into your field of vision. And it tells you the real story.
It tells of wariness, of woman scorned and burned by kindness in the past. It tells of broke promises and what that did to her family.Â
It tells of hopefulness, of her praying that maybe youâll be different from the rest. It tells of how the logical side of her wants to squash that hope and snuff it out before it can see the light of day.
You appeal to that part of her, âSuch methods arenât needed here.â
âWhy?â
âBecause a deal made with you thatâs not in good faith isnât a deal at all. And as I said before, I'd rather our deal come out of one of good faith than deceit. That, and because both parties already have bad blood, and you deserve more than some silly scare tactics.â
âBesides,â you laugh a bit. âI doubt such a thing would work on someone like you. Andrea has nothing real in her life, nothing for her to hold on to, hence why I scared her. You do, Mrs. Kerr. And that makes you all the more fierce and all the more respectable.â
âStill on with te flattery, ya?"
She hides it well, but you can tell she has a storm of emotions at how well you read her. Fear for her spouse. A bit of awe at you and your continued boldness. Skepticism.
âItâs my greatest weapon,â you smile. âAnd itâll work on you, Iâm sure.â
Kai swirls the rim of her drink with her fingertip.
âAnd why do you believe that?â
âBecause you and Sylus ultimately want the same thing: change to the N109 zone.â
Kai finally finishes her drink and turns her full attention to you.
âWhy do you think that of someone like me? Surely youâve heard the rumors?â
You almost laugh at her words. Because despite her coldness, her endless cruelty, and the way Kai carries herself... you know what she really wants.
You know her type well. You know how scarred her heart is. You know how much the child in her cries with every person she protects.
Because why was there no one like her when she was a child? Why did no one protect the little girl who grew up too fast?
âSimple. Because youâre capable of love.â
Kai has nothing to say after that. Her face is still cold. Her body is still relaxed and not giving anything away. But you know youâve struck a chord with her.
She keeps her eyes away from yours. Perhaps because theyâre so expressive despite the icy chill she tries to keep in them?
You follow her eyes. You follow her eyes as they follow someone in the gala, one that walks not too far from where the two of you sit..
They flicker. They flicker like Kai did earlier that night, and the night you first met Sylus. But they donât show draconic traits like your boss did, nor the scales or tattoos the woman before you did.
No. This person flickers with machines. Armor and mechanical wiring crawling across their skin. Black, deep black, twined with silver. A destructive weapon in their hand.
A voice calls out from them.
âRun X-02,â it calls. âRun.â
You blink, and itâs all gone. Vanishing in a flash, but still so disturbing that it makes you feel nauseous. Because while Kai and Sylus flickers were shocking, they werenât so⊠empty.
Devoid of any feeling. A machine. A weapon. A being whose parts were carved out time and time again until nothing remained but the single order to obey.
You could feel your heart pound despite your effort to calm down. You focus on the current details of the person: dark skin, black hair with streaks of silver that remind you of the stars.
No calm comes from looking at them. Because Kai has decided to make them a cyborg for their themed outfit. That, coupled with you and Sylusâ own get up, made you wonder if she knew. If she knew of the shapes certain people's souls once held. If she knew that person was an android once, just like Sylus was once a fiend.
âYou seem awfully distracted.â
âApologies.â
âNo, itâs fine,â Kai waves you off, tilting her head before the whisper of a smile appears on her lips. âYouâve had to deal with a lot for your first outing with Sylus. Why not visit the gardens? My spouse takes great care of maintaining it.â
You want to take her up on the offer. To escape into nature and just settle down your thoughts and racing heart. But you canât. You have a job to do.
âAs much as I appreciate your offer, Iââ
âI insist. You wouldnât want to disobey an order from your host, now would you."
âNo. No I would not, Mrs. Kerr.â
âGood.âÂ
She gives you the directions to the gardens. And you memorize them easily.
As you leave your station to go where she commands, you notice her glide her way to Sylus and other guests. And judging how their threads behave, you figure Kaiâs in a good mood.
You think about her as you meander around her mansion. Priceless artworks are casually on display in the hallway, all of the same artist. Rafayel. You recognize his style from your auction days.
The second you see the garden, you let out a huge sigh. Itâs gorgeous. Sprawling rows upon rows of flowers that you were sure were extinct.Â
Towering trees that reach to the sky, their branches home to many birds. You swear you see Mephisto among them.
Whinding pathways that are easy to follow, but you can get lost because of the sheer beauty that surrounds it.
Youâre in awe that such a place can exist in the N109 Zone. Thereâs no sunlight for these plants to gain nutrients from. So how are they growing?
Placing a hand on one of the trees, you dig into them. Plants donât have souls, or at least, not in the way that humans and Wanderers do. They have no threads of fate. They have no real desires, fears, or secrets.
But you can speak to them on occasion. If theyâre old enough.
Youâre drawn to one tree, and itâs the one you place a hand on. All you get is the flashing image of the person you saw earlier, the one Kai was staring at and the one whose past emanated such emptiness.
You see them and another tending to this garden. The only thing you can make out from the other is theyâre a man and he feels like sunshine. He and the person from the party are what made the plants grows.
You wander further into the garden. Birds chirp. Foxes scatter about. Gentle winds sway. And, eventually, you run into another person. Itâs the one from the treeâs memory, and from the party. Itâs the former android. Theyâre crouched on the ground, grass and dirt crawling up their fancy clothes.
The moment you see them up close, you feel bad about your early assumptions and how you let their past life cloud your judgement. Because this person has one of the most beautiful souls youâve ever seen.
They feel like nature itself. Like all the plants, animals, and maybe even planets themselves have been meshed together to create one person. Theyâre thread glows with a kind of compassion and gentleness youâve never seen from another.
Their thread is weaved together by sorrow, love, and hope. And in that love lies someone familiar: Kai. This is her spouse. This is the person sheâs willing to do anything for.
Every plan you had for this meeting goes out the window. They stare at you with their tender blue eyes for a moment before they reach into their pocket for something.Â
A pen and notepad comes out. Youâre left there, just watching this person write something down before they rip off the slip and hand it to you.
âIâm sorry if I frightened you,â it reads. âIâm Alex, and this is my garden.â
Alex stays on the ground. You introduce yourself with your own name, and they nod.
âCan I help you? You seem in need of some assistance.â
Alex blinks at you. You offer a shaky smile. They think for a moment before standing, and youâre able to see into the bushes they were previously sheilding.
A wolf cub, hardly old enough to be away from its mother, trembles in the bushes. Clearly injuredâone of its ribs is poking out of its sideâ,malnourished, and dripping wet. In short, its condition is horrible.
Alex is writing again. You let your palm out from them to give it to you once you see theyâve finished this time.
âI found her a few hours ago on a trip outside the zone. Poor thing was on her own and stuck under the corpuses of her slaughtered family, probably for days. She was unconscious, and her rib ripped through her skin when she woke up in a strange place. Iâve tried calming her down, but nothing seems to work.â
The sorrow in Alexâs words is evident, even if they arenât using their voice. Their expression falls, eyes downcast and fists clenched in frustration. Theyâre so open with their emotions. Itâs a sharp contrast to their wifeâs way of doing things.
âHow about I try? Youâd have to relay my intentions, but Iâd like to think of myself as quite good at persuading others.â
Treating a wolf cub like any other customer or dealer wasnât something you thought youâd ever do in your life. But, the poor baby needs help. And itâll make Alex happy.
Already attached to them within 30 seconds of meeting them.
Another paper is put into your hands, "Why?"
âBecause Iâd hate to see her suffer more. She deserves some kindness after what sheâs been through.â
Part of you wonders if youâre still speaking about the wolf cub. And judging by their reaction, Alex thinks the same.
Deep down, you believe the same about Kai. A girl forced to step up at a young age and raise her little brother.
A woman who became a monster to protect those she loves and what remains of her people.
A woman who time and time again has forced herself to carry insurmountable burdens.
And maybe, you too, can relate to this. Maybe you also deserve some kindness after all youâve been through. And maybe, just maybe⊠thatâs the real reason you got this job.
To distract yourself, you do what you do best: you talk. You talk and Alex relays and repeat. Until, finally, the little cub walks out and into Alexâs arms.
They get to work immediately. You use the little oneâs soul to soothe her, guiding the pup to sleep while Alex mends her fur and resets her bones.
They also summon a large falcon to perch on one of their arms. In its beak it carries a milk bottle that Alex lets the little one drink from when you coax her out of a deep sleep.
You two stand in silence for a bit. The falcon occasionally squawks.
It takes the notepad into its beak, and Alex writes, âWould you like to stay longer? Iâm sorry, but I really should be heading back.â
âAs should I. My foolish boss might be making a mess again.â
Alex smiles, and you both begin your walk back. They still cradle the wold cub in their arms. The falcon flies just slightly overhead. The trees and plants seem to lean and reach out to Alex as the two of you walk by.
More animals begin to join. A white tiger follows closely on their heels. A polar bear walks beside you (and it takes everything in you to remain calm). Both a crocodile and an alligator walk in front of you.
As a result of this, your re-entrance to the party turns many heads. Some afraid. Some in shock. And one enraged: Andrea. She says nothing. She just glares at Alex while they look down in embarrassment.
You reach your boss and Kai quickly. The falcon swoops down again with the notepad, Alex writes, and hands it to Kai. She reads it quickly.
She taps a fork on her glass, "Alright. I'm calling an end to tonightâs gathering. Get the fuck out before I feed you to one of these fine creatures."
Kai pets the head of the tiger and polar bear as she speaks. People hurry out. But the gaze that Kai and Alex give you and Sylus roots the two of you in place.
Kai turns to Sylus, âIâll work with you.â
He immediately turns to you and whispers. âSeems your first job went well.â
âI told you my method would work,â you grin.
âAww, but mineâs more effective and time-saving, sweetie. Weâve been here for far too long.â
âIt hasnât even been an hour, you big baby.â
His eyes widen at the insult, "You've become quite bold."
âI just talked to a supposed cannibal who also happens to be someone with a body count many times higher than yours and whoâs been killing since she was mostly likely around the age of 5. Iâm allowed to have a little bit of attitude.â
âWhatever you say.â
âAnd about your âmethodâ⊠mineâs clearly superior to it. And better in the long run. Evidenced by how a woman who hates you is now working with you.â
âAnd how exactly did you do that?â
âThrough her spouse. A spouse you didnât tell me about,â you lightly gesture to Alex. Kai and them are too busy chatting to notice you do so.
âForgot to mention them."
"No you didn't," your whisper becomes harsher with annoyance at his obvious lie. "And you did that on purpose."
Sylus' grin widens, "And why do you think that?"
Your own smile mirrors his, âItâs written all over your face.â
Sylus just laughs.
âYou finished?â Kai calls out, eyebrow raised.
You two turn your full attention to her again.
âGood,â she continues. âNow, we have one condition for our business deal to go forward.â
Sylus crosses his arms. âAnd that would be?"
âShe will be our communication. Our liaison, so to speak,â and she points at you. You snap back to the present when a hand touches your forearm. Itâs Miss Hunter, and her haul of protocores.
âFor someone who was so hesitant not so long ago, youâve spent quite a lot.â
Miss Hunter ignores your words, worry lining her expression. âYou okay? You were spacing outâŠâ
Her eyes look you up and down.
âIâm not going to collapse again, sweetie. Iâm quite alright.â
You give her a smile to sell the whole thing, your little act. Because what else could you tell her? That you were drowning in memories of a simpler time?
Iâm fine, Miss Hunter. Just thinking about the past, before I fell in love with your soulmate and I was just an employee under him.
You couldnât say that. For so many reasons.
Due to those reasons, you try to focus on the world around you, and anchor yourself in the present. People dancing around you, minding their own business and lost in their own worlds.
You have half the mind to join them. That is until some men start badgering Miss Hunter. And, strangely, youâre thankful for it. Theyâre a welcome distraction.
You quickly place yourself between the men and Miss Hunter, shielding her from their eyes and their grabby hands. However, you donât get even a word out of your mouth before a familiar voice interrupts.
âHer scheduleâs full.â
Sylus comes up behind the men. They scatter upon his arrival. Their departure allows you to get a good look at your boss. He looks pissed.
Arms crossed tightly against his chest and scowl evident on his face, he watches the men leave you all in disgust. He looks like an animal ready to pounce. The dragon in him is bubbling to the surface, appalled and enraged someone dared to get so close to his treasure.
Will he be that way with me in future? Or is he already that way, raging at the mere idea of me being near his soulmate?
You speak because any more thoughts like that, and you might begin to cry.
âThat was quick."
Sylus' expression relaxes upon hearing your voice, âYou know how I detest wasting my time on boring things. The meeting was predictably that, so I wanted to speed things up.â
âYou sure thatâs not because you were worried?â
You say the words in jest, but part of you truly hopes he was worried. Not for you, but for her. For his soulmate. For his destined love. For his sorceress and the only woman worthy of him. Because if thatâs the case, well⊠you have all the more reason to leave.
You can justify that voice in your head that screams at you to run if he cares for her. If he cares for her more than you, that is.
âWorried about what, sweetie? You can handle yourself just fine. And I know a little extra baggage wonât hinder you.â
Miss Hunter, for some odd reason, doesnât comment on his obvious dig. You give her a look. She looks away, almost like sheâs embarrassed.
Thereâs something going on between them again.
You brush it off. Last time you got involved in their drama, it didnât end well for you. No use in you sticking your nose in where it doesnât belong.
Because of how lost in your thoughts you are, you almost donât hear Sylusâ next words, âCare to dance?â
You donât look at him because you expect his hand to be stretched out to Miss Hunter. You do look at her again because sheâd need someone to hold her bunch of protocores. But she just gestures her head at Sylus, and you turn to him in confusion.
Sylus hand extends to you . Not his soulmate that carries a mound of protocores.
You hesitate. But something in his eyes compels you to take his hand, so you do so in the next moment. Sylus gives you a precious look as he whisks you away. Miss Hunter gives you a small thumbs up, and you donât know how you feel about that.
Sylus and you easily fall into a rhythm with one another. Years and years of familiarity shadows all your earlier turmoil. You can just embrace his touch, his scent, and his care with no reservations. Each step to the music, choreographed but comforting.
Sylus leans in to whisper in your ear, âSherman has been taken care of, Gamayun.â
That brings a smile to your face. A sick, twisted, and evil smile that you tend not to show. But Sherman had it coming.
He betrayed you. He hurt Miss Hunter and took her family from her. He got himself into this mess. And you only wished youâve couldâve been there to rip out his soulmate thread, one attached to a woman who was long gone.
âGood. You better not have been quick about his punishment. Otherwise, Iâm going to have to drag him out of his grave.â
Sylus spins you, and pulls you close for a moment.
âSo aggressive.â
âIâm taking your advice: anything I donât consider is filed under ânever heard of itâ, and I definitely donât consider myself aggressive.â
He releases you and you step back.
âThen what do you consider this?â
âMy bleeding heart acting up again.â
The two of you step into the back and forth dance again, box steps and making circles around the dance floor.
âYour bleeding heart gets you into far too much trouble.â
âBetter than the trouble your loose lips gets us both in.â
âAnd what trouble are you referring to, exactly?â
âKai,â you begin to list off. âThat old records dealer in Siberia. That one arms dealer in Canada. James.â
Sylusâ face makes a strange expression at Jamesâ name.
âStill hung up on that man?â
âThat man,â you tease, speaking directly into Sylusâ ear when you get closer. âWouldâve been quite a help to our business.â
âYou sure your interest in him isnât personal?â
If you didnât know any better, youâd say he sounded jealous. But a quick glance behind him at Miss Hunter, protocores taken away by some of Onychinus men, gets you to give up that idea.
Why would he be jealous when he has her?
âGuess weâll never know,â is all you can get out.
You and Sylus dance in silence for a bit longer, a beautiful display of your synergy. You keep looking for Miss Hunter at any given opportunity. Her presence reminds you of your place. She reminds you that despite the inherent intimacy of this dance, you will never get more.
Youâll never get what you truly want.
âYou see, this is why I worry whenever your bleeding heart acts up,â Sylus suddenly says.
âWhy?â
Your voice sounds airy. You cringe at the sound, hoping Sylus doesn't notice how it wavers.
What is wrong with me?
âBecause despite me being right in front of you, your eyes are focused on her.â
You feel so hot. Your head is in such a fog.
âAnd you care about that becauseâŠâ
Sylus pulls you in close, closer than any other previous time. You two no longer dance, and his arm is tightly wound around your waist.
When he begins to lean in, your heart pounds and your stomach flutters. It's a thumping bass that drowns out all other conversations and music around you. All you can hear is your heart. All you can smell is his cologne.
All you can see is him.
Warmth flutters and circulates through your body. A warm that whispers comfort and safety. A warmth that draws you into Sylus just as he draws into you.
This warmth calls to you. Beckons you. It smuthers all the guilt, denial, and determination to stay the course.
It says, kiss him, kis him.
âDonât you know by now that I adore you?â He mutters into your ear.
The two of you just stare at one another. The world stops dead in its tracks. Because did he really just say that? With his sultry voice that glides over your ears and sends shivers down your spine and makes your legs tremble and causes you to be so very weak? With a softness in his eyes youâve never before in your life?
No. Iâve seen it somewhere.
Itâs how Kai looked at Alex and vice versa. Itâs how James would look when he talked about his lost love. Itâs how so many soulmates would look at their other half.
But, that couldnât be true, could it?
Your eyes are deceiving you. Because Sylus is leaning in closer to you. His scent becomes stronger and your body become warmer. You donât care about anything else around you. All that matters is him and you and your pounding heart.
Itâs like youâre waiting for something, studying him to be prepared for what it is. Youâre still, as if any movement will scare him off or make him change his mind about whatever he's about to do.
And, for a moment, you swear you see him glance at your lips. You stop yourself from breathing. You, stupidly, lean into him.
Your brain screams at you to stop. Your heart sings for you to move faster, to get what you've wanted for so long. You listen to your heart.
You cup Sylus' cheeks. You tilt your head to the side. And that heart of yoursâthat foolish, foolish muscleâis so very loud that it consumes all your senses.
All you feel is your heart. All you see is your heart. All you taste is your heart.
What would Sylus taste like?
The thought is indecent. It's a fantasy. It's a trap. It's something you should never want, never think about, never wonder about.
But it's the siren song that pulls you in. It's what makes you tenderly glide your tongue against your lips as Sylus draws you closer.
That seems to break Sylus out of whatever trance heâs in, and his hand leaves your waist. You drop your hands from his cheeks when he does.
And just like that, the warmth in you is sucked away, as if his hands were the supplier of it. Your heart still envelopes you, consumes you. But no longer do you think about the taste of Sylus.
You perse your lips together, your mind conjuring the image of something else pressing against them. You blink several times, still in awe at all that didâand didn'tâhappen.
Am I⊠disappointed?
Thatâs ridiculous. You knew from the moment you fell for Sylus nothing would ever happen between the two you. You knew that, and you told yourself that everyday when your urge to kiss him or cuddle him especially close or flirt with him became too much.
To distract yourself, you ask, âHow long until the bombs go off?â
Sylus doesn't seem affected by the strange atmosphere that was between you two. He gives you that familiar arrogant and confident smile.
But there's a glimmer in his eye. A glimmer that tells you so much and so little. You don't dare look at his thread in case there's more confusion there.
âWhy do you assume Iâm doing that, Gamayun?â
Because, unfortunately, I know you all too well.
âBecause itâs you, Sylus. Now, when do they go off? I need to warn Miss Hunter.â
A sudden explosion is the last thing she needs. You couldn't bare to see her buckle under the weight of such panic, of such grief and pain.
Miss Hunter hides her grief well. But, it peaks out occasionally. Sometimes when she laughs just a bit too much. Other times when she looks at Sylus, for some reason.
Her suffering is palpable to everyone at the base. You've all collectively decided to pretend you don't see it and let her shield her fragile heart.
Because, otherwise... she'll shatter. She'll shatter and break and fall apart into so many pieces that not even expert crafters like you and Sylus could put her back together.
And no matter how her existence breaks your heart, you could neverâwill neverâwish such a thing on her. No for any reason. Not even if she begins to hate you. Not even if she turns you in to the Hunter's Association.
And certainly not even when she ineviably takes away the man you love for good.
Sylus' response brings you out of your spiral, âIâll come tell you when itâs time.â
He brings you close one last time, pressing a kiss on your forehead and murmuring, âI do love that heart of yours.â
You speed walk away. Body and mind in turmoil. Frustration. Embarrasment. Hope.
You can't control yourself. It feels odd, considering how composed you normally are. Control is everything to you. Control is literally your job and your life.
Right now, you're anything but that. You're flustered from head to toe, still feeling the ghost of Sylus' lips on your ear and forehead. You have to actively stop yourself from touching those places.
His lips were so soft. Softer than you ever imagined on those rare days you let yourself indulge in the fantasy of a future with him. How much softer would they have been against your own? Would he kiss you gently with those lips?
Or would he be rough, possessive? Like he's trying to claim your lips as your own?
You feel hot all over again just imagining it: his arm on your waist becoming tighter, his other hand gripping the back of your head, his hot breath against your lips when he dives in for more...
You want to scream at your own vivid fantacies. Thoughts and images so vivid, you can almost feel them.
His arm around you, muscles tensing on your hips as he tries to pull you impossibly closer to him.
His hand on your back, fingers spread wide and holding you in place, but featherlight as to not hurt you.
His other hand on the back of your head, making sure he's getting the perfect angle to kiss you.
His lips on yours, trying to mold them to his. Tongue in your mouth, eyes with blown pupils on you when he backs up for air, and whispered sweet nothings that only you can hear that spill out for a moment before he dives in for more.
For more of you.
What the devil is wrong with me?
Your walk to Miss Hunter feels like an eternity with the company of your delusions.
The moment youâre by Miss Hunterâs side, your embarrassment multiples. You were just fantisizing about her soulmate, her other half, and the man she will one day marry.
She wears a shit-eating grin.
âSooo, what was that about?â
âWhat was what about?â You attempt to deflect.
âDonât give me that,â she rolls her eyes at you. âI may not be as smart as you, but I do have eyes.â
âDonât insult yourself like that,â your defense of her comes out before you can really think about it.
âYouâre dodging the issue.â
She turns to face the dance floor. Or, rather, where Sylus stands near it. Just the sight of him makes you feel all warm and fuzzy again.
âDonât you know by now that I adore you?â
âI do love that heart of yours.â
And just like that, youâre flustered again.
âDance with me,â you blurt out, escaping from Sylusâ line of sight and dragging Miss Hunter behind you.
Miss Hunter giggles, grin still on her face. You can practically hear the teasing questions and words that beg to fall off her lips.
Is this what itâs like to have friends?
Your social life took a dive years ago, far before you met Sylus. After your best friends in high school ditched you for each and their new love, reaching out for companionship was⊠hard, to say the least.
Kai and Alex filled that void for some time. The three of you stopped talking about a year ago for some reason. Kaiâs been very quiet in the âbusinessâ world since then. And Alex has always preferred to stay out of the spotlight, so you didnât worry much when they dropped off the grid.
They were, and still are, probably two of your closest friends. People who get not only the lighter side of youâthe one with a bleeding heartâbut the dark side, the lonely one with a cynical out look on love.
But, as much as you love them, they are anything except normal. Kaiâs killed more people than anyone youâve ever met. Alex prefers the call of nature to the voices of humans. They both carry pains you couldnât even begin to understand.
You love them. You love Sylus. You love the twins. But, you need some reprieve from your bloodstained world.
Miss Hunter appears to be the key to that. Someone who reminds you of the good in the world, rather than the bad parts youâre determined to destroy. Someone who reminds you of that innocent little girl you once were before you got your powers (ironic, given that sheâs more or less a symbol of everything your powers have taken from you).
Sheâs a kind and gentle soul, one who hasnât been stained by the world and still believes in good. She reminds you of Alex.
But unlike Alex, Miss Hunter is fierce. Unwavering. And because of that, you couldnât ask for a better soulmate for the love of your life.
Imagining her and Sylus together still hurts. It still claws into your heart and shreds it without mercy. But, in a little corner of your heart, thereâs joy. Thereâs happiness for your new friend and the man you love.
Because no one else could make each other as happy as the other will. Youâve seen it time and time again.
As for her other soulmates⊠well, they arenât your problem. Youâll deal with that problem too once you come to it.
âStill thinking about your boss?â Miss Hunter pipes up, her tone teasing and lighter than youâve ever heard it.
Yes.
You still feel his touch, phantom imprints. You still want more of his touch, the ghost of his taste still on your tongue. You want more and more and more.
But you will never have it. You need to remember that. All you'll ever have is the dreams and nightmares of that with Sylus.
And your dreams are meant to be crushed. They're meant to be broken beyond repair. Why should someone deemed by the universe unfit for love be able to dream?
Why should they be able to wish, to wonder?
Why am I allowed to live?
âWhat ever are you talking about?â
Stepping into your usual role is all you can do to make the thoughts stop.
âSeriously? Youâre pretending not to know again?â
No. I just don't want to know. I don't want to remember my mistakes and my errors and my stupidity, and myâ
âWhy donât just spit it out?â You quip back with a smile.
âFine,ïżœïżœ she huffs as you twirl her. âYou and Sylusâwell, mostly Sylusâitâs obvious you're in love.â
âYouâre still on about that?â
You thought you cleared this up earlier. Your stomach twists at the thought. Having Sylusâ soulmate believe the two of you are in love, and not just extremely close is a problem. A huge problem.
âAnd youâre still in denial about that? I mean, come on! He looked like he was going to kiss you. I had my imaginary popcorn out and everything!â
âYouâre ridiculous,â she giggles as you pull her close. âPreposterous. Delusional.â
âI know what you are, but what am I?â You roll your eyes at her.
âHis friend and employee. Not his soulmate.â
The word âsoulmateâ causes a shadow to fall over her eyes.
âHow⊠are you so sure?â
You want to laugh.
Because I can see it. I see how your souls are tied together. I see how heâll love you and only you through every lifetime. I see how Iâm merely a footnote in your love story.
You, of course say none of that, and can only say, âI just do.â
The cheery and playful atmosphere dissipates between the two of you. You stop dancing and you guide her away from the dance floor to somewhere more hidden. You donât know what to say.
The airy and warm feeling you had early is gone, sapped away by your own stupid words and your own stupid love. Why, oh why, did you have to do this to yourself?
Maybe part of you loves the pain of a broke heart?
The tap on your shoulder comes as a welcomed distraction.
â60 seconds,â is all his whispers in your ear before he goes off to talk to other people.
For once, youâre grateful for Sylusâ tendency to do big shows of power. The ensuing chaos and combat will keep your mind occupied.
âWhat was that?â Miss Hunter inquires, tilting her head at you.
âA heads up I requested,â her expression pushes you to answer further. âSylus has a flare for dramatics. And those dramatics tend to involve explosions.â
You continue in a much gentler tone, âI know an explosion took your family. Springing one on you isnât very polite, so I asked Sylus to give me a heads up.â
Miss Hunter trembles. You hold her close.
âThank you,â she whispers, trying to sound brave.
âNo need,â you check your phone for the time. âWe have about 30 seconds. Ready?â
âDoes it matter if Iâm not?â
You sigh. âI suppose not.â
The seconds tick down. Miss Hunterâs breath is shaky. You feel her heart pound in her chest. You squeeze her even closer to you. You count each breath, and remind her to stay calm.
Then, it comes. Multiple explosions rock the building. People scream. Some are crushed, while others die in a blaze. Others still are picked off by the twins or Sylus himself.
You donât focus on them. You focus on keeping Miss Hunter shielded and calm. Her heartbeat is out of control, so you mess with her threads a bit. Just small nudges to keep her tranquil, to remind of her of better times.
The whole thing is done in an instant. Sylus casually walks over to check on her.
âYou alright, sweetie?â
âShe will be. Give her time,â you snap.
Sylus laughs, sticking his thumbs into his pockets, âI meant you, silly.â
He takes a hand out to flick your forehead when he says the stupid nickname.
âIâm fine. Why wouldnât I be?â
You brush him off because today has been just a bit too much. Your hear has always been weak to Sylus, but you've never had such real... material in your mind.
You've never thought of how he would kiss you. You've never thought about how he would touch you in throes of such intimacy. You've never let your thoughts get so far.
But that look in his eyes when you two danced. That look he gave you before you went to Miss Hunter... it gives you ideas. Foolish, unrealistic, and dangerous ideas.
âBecause I seem to recall you prioritizing helping our guest over your own safety.â
He leans over Miss Hunter who was still buried in your arms, and tilts your head so that he could get a better look.
âLook, your face is bleeding.â
His touch makes you feel hot all over again. It gets worse when you remember how it made your imagination run wild.
You can almost pretend you're somewhere else. Somewhere private. Somewhere where this simple touch on the chin to look at your cuts and bruises could become something else.
Your knees almost buckle. But you hold it together.
âMinor cuts, you fool. Iâve had worse.â
âAnd that makes that better becauseâŠ?â
ââŠShut your mouth.â
âOr else what? Youâll shut it for me?â
You flush at the implications. Sylusâ smirk tells you that he meant it in the way youâre thinking of. Your heart rate picks up again. Youâre warm all over. And thereâs this sense of⊠anticipation and hunger as you stare at one another.
That warmth is back. It begs to take a chance, a leap of faith. It screams at you to just grab his neck and finally have what you've craved for so long.
âCould you please not flirt so close to me?â Miss Hunter mumbles.
You almost scream. But the crushing guilt keeps you silent. Her words remind you of your place, of the line you've been treading far too close to.
You step back from Sylus. Miss Hunter is no longer buried in you, so she doesn't follow.
You ignore her question because you have no way of really responding, âHow are you holding up?â
âFine,â she grumbles. âLetâs finish this.â
You guide her to the rooftop, glancing at Sylus to be sure he follows. He shakes his head.
âIâll clean up here. You go.â
âI seem to recall that sheâs your guest.â
He shrugs, âshe likes you more.â
You splutter. Then, you let yourself hug him and whisper in his ear, "Be safe, Morana."
You follow Miss Hunter up to the rooftop as quick as you can. The sharp winds in your face make the burn of emotions dampen down. That, and the giant Wanderer that roars above.
âStay back!â She yells over the racket, shooting at the foe. âYou donât have an Evol, right?! Itâs dangerous!â
âEver the diligent Hunter, protecting civilian, eh?â
âNowâs not the time for jokes!â
âThe only joke here is that you think me,, of all people, need protection!â
The fight against the Wanderer is short. After all, Wanderers were once people. They had souls and threads for you to mess with. So you help her, weaving threads and shooting after she handed you one of her guns.
You hand it back as you walk to the pedestal that held the Aether Core, beckoning her to that the power that belongs to her. And you watch her threads react.
You never really paid attention to Miss Hunterâs Aether Core, not when they were more pressing issues at hand. None of this issues exist now in this moment.
Now, you can. Her glitching threads that emerge from it. The strange energy that flows from it, an energy that seems to call to you. It tries to drag you in, to swallow you.
You donât know why.
And when the energy from the new core begins to leak out into her, the very universe shifts around you.
You hear her heartbeats, and your own heart seems to sync with it. Thump. Thump. Thump. A resonate of sounds that are so familiar yet so foreign.
And underneath those thumps, thereâs a hum. A song. A whisper of melody youâve never heard before and canât describe despite how it echoes in your brain.
Itâs beautiful.
The sound is like home. Like a gentle kiss from your mother or the safe embrace of your father. Like the boisterous laugh of the twins or the comfortable touch of Sylus.
It brings a tear to your eye. With that tear comes visuals. Planets. Stars. Galaxies. They all lay over your eyes and block the vision of Miss Hunter taking the power of the new Aether Core.
So, so beautiful.
You think you can stay here forever, basking in that wonderful melody and the sights that it brings. But the moment the energy flow into Miss Hunter stops, it ends. A blip in time. A small moment of absolute peace.
Quickly wiping your face before she turns around, you snap out your trance. Thereâs things to be done, after all.
You do all the things needed to be done: help Sylus and the twins clean up, settle Miss Hunter, and escort her out of the N109 Zone.
âYou should come visit me,â she says, bright smile on her face.
âMaybe I willâŠâ
After all, what better fresh start is there than the city of the woman who drove me out? You take my place at Sylusâ side⊠maybe Iâll take yours in the Hunter Association.
Itâll be a sick, twisted, heartbroken exchange. One not equivalent in the slightest. For how can you compare a woman loved by many to one loved by none?
Author's Note: Also, please go to the original blurb to ask to be added to the taglist (it's impossible for me to keep checking every part every time I update).
2nd Author's Note: How long is too long for a chapter?
Taglist: @eolivy, @rafayelridesfisheatsfish, @animegamerfox, @jasperjokester, @schrodingerskimdokja, @just--crys, @snowdynasty, @shi-thats-kiera, @mansonofmadness, @dwuclvr, @ameilli, @katiedoesstuff101, @everythingistaken00, @napa-the-yappa, @hanaluxx, @lovesick-sylus, @tenaciouszombiewombat, @ladyparamount, @applepi405, @midnight-reverie, @69-gojos-wife-69, @bellagrayson-wayne, @phisen, @idkmanimjusthorny, @munchychuusy, @autumn2534, @poptrim, @sillyfreakfanparty, @zaynesfirefly, @flamedancer13, @thissmartdumbass, @mrsllawliet, @jeondyy, @ssetsuka, @dels-page, @that-lost-one, @johnnysactualgf, @mariquitas-en-verano, @toelady, @sinnamon-bunn, @yesbiaswrecked, @doggyteam2028, @little-rays-of-darkness, @albatrossblue, @vyntheria, @silverianni, @browneyedgirl22, @tiklestar, @beaconsxd, @pepperushia
#ikigai#lads x reader#sylus x non mc reader#sylus x non!mc reader#love and deepspace caleb#sylus qin x reader#sylus x reader#love and deepspace x reader#sylus x mc#sylus angst#sylus fluff
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I understand hating this situation but also, as someone who actually works in the nonprofit world, in order to make things better we do need to use the term "affordable housing" as an official term and we need to do so without any stigma. We need to be able to encourage landowners to join and adhere to the practices that qualify them as Affordable Housing, and many of them will back out if they encounter any negativity around the terminology. So yes, all housing should be affordable but please don't create any more baggage for the phrase "affordable housing" than it already has.
I hate, hate, HATE the term âaffordable housing.â I hate that weâve normalized it. I hate that we just accept that the majority of housing, a basic human right, is unaffordable to much of the population. Housing should be affordable as a baseline. If rich people want to add arcades and gold-plated hot tubs on top so be it, but everyone, everyone, regardless of income level, should have access to a clean, comfortable home with enough light and space to make life worth living.
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Please Write Beast Headcanons about there reaction to reader getting hit on/flirted with by another cookie!!!! I will pay your child support to the anon you had a kid with!!!
THATS NOT MY KID IM NOT THE FATHER/MOTHER
Cw and tags: possessiveness, implied murder, romantic, GN! Reader, reader is referred to as pretty/beautiful/etc i use these words in a gender neutral way or am trying to, the beasts love to spoil you, mention of cheating, reader does not gaf about the beasts behaviour/encourages it
Written pre silent salt update

Mystic flour
đŸ - You dont leave the ivory pagoda much, if you do she does not linger far. Youâre given a reputation pretty quick, your title will proceed you soon. âHer second set of earsâ or âone who cannot be spoken tooâ. You lose a few friends, you get the memo likely before anything romantic happens she doesnât want anything happening to you or anyone speaking to you. You were her wish, her one desire, her exception. She would be apathetic but not for you, you were her blessing. Someone she had unknowingly yearned for for thousands of years. You were someone she wouldnât tolerate leaving, witches know what would happen if someone took you from her.
đŸ - Some cookies donât think very well, Mystic flour know that well, one day the two of you head to a kingdom together to pick some items up. It got boring in the pagoda with little to do, she understood that and often brought you out to find things that would interest you and keep you with her, not that you needed material possession to spend time with her. It was a quiet day there which was the only reason she would let you go, she hated crowds. Your attention had diverted to a different stand, the stand owner watched you as you looked at their wares.
đŸ - âWhats a pretty cookie like you doing in this part of town?â You tense up, not at the flirt but because you knew what sheâd do if she heard. âUm.. you really shouldnât be talking to me like that,â you warned, your stance stiffened and you leaned away from the items. But they persisted in spite of the warning, âwhat? Scared of me? I donât bite, unless you..â theyâre cut off as the beast joins you. As she enters, all the perishable items on the desk seem to wilt and die. Her presence is strong, it shifts the air. You fluster as she enters the conversation. Making who you belong to crystal clear with her hand placement. One hand on your hip the other on your shoulder, also showing off her sharp nails unintentionally, as she speaks in an almost eerie way.
đŸ - âI found what we are looking for,â she opens her eyes and side glances at the stand owner now in shock. âIt was not here,â she says quietly anf you swear you see her sharp fangs poking out. She then turns back, taking your arm and walking away. This is tame for her, this experience is the tamest of the others you endure beforehand. Many cookies have been turned to flour on a dime for speaking to you wrong, you were the one who convinced her to show mercy.
đŸ - When you return she will say nothing of the experience but if you praise her for âsavingâ you she wont deny you. Sheâll definitely keep you closer next time you both go out in public.

Burning Spice
đïž - Ive said this in previous headcannons, Burning spice sees any threat towards you as disrespectful towards him. You are apart of his temple, you were the gods lover, you were his. Anyone who so much as looks at you wrong, doesnât greet you with the same reverence as him is ensured they understand or crumbled. Hell, heâd probably fight another beast or powerful being for you. Feel honoured, try to ignore the potential jamshed, make yourself a walking warning if youâre concerned with someones life.
đïž - Burning Spice is confident in his abilities and your loyalty to him. He allows you to go pretty far on your own or accompanied by one of his trusted spice soldiers. If you ever run away, trust that you will be hunted down, thats the second reason heâs so lax with you.
đïž - Warnings are as easily regarded as they are taken, you experienced this first hand one time. He decides to spoil you, he takes you on some lavish trip in a far away land. Adorning you in smooth fabrics, eating the sweetest fruits and jellys, napping on the beach in the sun. You head back towards the nearby building with the food at some point while he sunbathes. Heâs too sleepy to tell you to ask a servant to fetch it for you.
đïž - You head in, another guest seems to be ensnared by you, or rather all the expensive metals, jewels and robes you were bestowed with. You probably looked like royalty, or (ironically enough) someone fresh out of Golden Cheeseâs vault. So while you were picking out what you wanted and what you think heâd like at a somewhat leisurely pace the stranger approached. âAh, what amazing handiwork on your garments, befitting of a beauty such as yourself,â that stranger purrs. You squint then look away, âum, thanks.â You try to seem as extremely disinterested as you were, maybe try to make some part of your attire bearing his symbol more visible.
đïž - Your attempts were in vain, even saying âIm from the Spice Kingdom, i live in The Great Destroyers temple in fact,â did not make them go away. They just thought you more interesting, you even warned them. âMy husband is with me, he wont like you acting like this.â You say on the way back, to your dismay they follow. âOh please, dont we all need to have a little away time? Besides you donât need him, i am theâŠâ followed by a long list of stupid titles you doubted actually impressed anyone. You then get back, where Burning spice was stretching, he locks eyes with you from afar, then the cookie trying to woo you and his face contorts to anger. Then the cookie looks a little nervous.
đïž - âWho is that..?â The cookie murmurs, nearly stammering. âMy husband, The Great Destroyer?â You roll your eyes, âwell go on, you said you could take him so go fight for my love.â You say, Burning Spice is already walking over, weaponless yet still menacing, you look back at the cookie and theyâre running. You catch Burning Spice, stopping him. âDonât get jam and crumbs on your nice clothes.â You say and let him loose. He comes back later, laughing and all washed off. Whatever happened after that is chalked up to âsome cookies just cant keep their eyes off whats mine!â Heâll say while pulling you impossibly close chugging the umpteenth glass of juice.

Eternal Sugar
đ· - She was your happiness and you were hers, never would you part with her and always would she be beside you⊠even if you didnât realise it. You were made off limits the second her eyes had caught a glimpse of you. When you became hers, she flaunts you, spoils you, adores you and you do the same. Your time is no longer spent working or stressing, youâre mostly at her side or in her lap. You could say you havenât left her side for weeks and thatâd be an understatement. No one in the garden would ever question nor attempt to get in between you too, lest they face the possibility of being entrapped in a jar or a statue.
đ· - The only catch is youâll never leave, any time you ask to go with her somewhere or you hear about something interesting going on. Sheâll gently guide you elsewhere, âoh, but sweetness, the population there is so unpredictable. Youâre like a thin string of sugar floss~, how about we do this instead?â Sheâd say if you tried to go, sheâs good at it too because how can you say no to those eyes?
đ· - Well, one time you were adamant about leaving, except you wanted her to come with you. There was some festival and you had been raving about it all week. It made you happy, and you wanted her to be happy with you, so she silently left, both of you in disguise, but told no one. It was as great as what you were told and even better with her! Your excitement was infectious and distracted her from wanting to go back to the garden.
đ· - You separate only for a moment and unfortunately it all goes off the rails. Youâre standing waiting for Eternal Sugar to return with drinks listening to the nearby festivities when a cookie comes up to you. âDid it hurt when you fell from heaven?â This cookie grins says referring to the small wings tucked against your back. Appalled, you cringe. âUmâŠâ you barely speak before arms slither around your waist and youâre pulled close. âThere you are, my beloved,â Eternal Sugar says. You doubt her eyes ever left you. She was keeping you close in a way you knew you wouldnât be staying at the festival much longer.
đ· - âI got our food and.. oh! Whoâs your friend?â She says in a way that drips jealousy, leaning her head against yours. One of her massive wings coming behind you, the other cookie is now looking around, giving an excuse about their friends and leaving. She watches them go then kisses your cheek. âI told you this would happen, what if it was someone worse who wanted to take you?~â sheâll tilt your head towards her, âcan we go back to the garden? Iâm feeling tired..â sheâll lie.
đ· - Youâll notice that sheâll somehow be more affectionate with you for the time afterwards, donât expect to leave for a very long time after that encounter.

Shadow Milk
đ - You were many things thanks to Shadow Milk, above every title heâs given you and every role heâs put you in, you were his lover. His lover. Though he would never show it, he kept you more protected than you know. You donât see it but at all times there are puppet strings wound around you, if youâre about to step in a place you shouldnât be those strings tighten and you walk away, except it feels more like âoh i donât want to do this actuallyâ and not âwhy did i just do that?â You donât question it too thoroughly, you just encounter less issues now and thank the witches.
đ - You think you spend a healthy of time away from him, you donât. In actuality you actually spent most of your time with him indirectly. He gives you many gifts, each one extends his omnipresence, so when youâre wearing something from him he is absolutely listening most of the time. If you ask him heâd tell you âKnowledge is a curse, wouldnât you rather enjoy a white lie?â A little intimidated, you agree.
đ - His eaves dropping came in handy one time. Heâd be lounging around mid air reading a book (and rewriting it) while listening to you in the background, a mug floating beside him. You were doing your own thing somewhere in the kingdoms, going through your daily rituals. What really made his ears open was when he heard someone he hadnât recognised begin to speak to you all friendly. His eyes didnât avert from the paper but if his ears could prick thats exactly what theyâd be doing. âSo, you doing anything this weekend? Youâre cute,â He spit out his coffee, who did this guy think he was talking to you like that!
đ - He perked up, snapped his fingers so he wasnât wearing his comfortable bed clothes and now in his usual jester attire. He jumped through a portal wasting no time. He watched from afar for a moment, you were clearly disinterested. âIm actually waiting for my partner,â you said. It always made his heart beat when you lied, especially about him! He might as well help you out! (And scare off whoever this was)
đ - He floated in, âOh, my star~!â He sung out coming from around the corner, you whip around clearly happy to see him. He practically throws himself on you, and smothers you in exaggerated kisses, arms wrapped around your neck and one leg up behind him in a cartoonish way before harshly placing his lips against yours in a way that screamed territorial. Your face heats up from embarrassment, he then turns to the other cookie who didnât seem to believe you but now, unfortunately, did. âOh sorry, do you mind? I need a minute with my dearest, loveliest most adored actorâ he says while holding your chin feigning innocence in his voice. But while you were hiding your face his shifted, he loved dropping the mask, putting on a face as scary as he was. The other got the memo, nervously escaping his wrath.
đ - You wont ever determine why he was truly near you, heâll say that he wanted to see you but you know its a lie. Surprisingly, that cookie lives but at the expense of their reputation. Black sapphire is allowed to go ham with rumours about them, they end up moving towns. You, of course, have to endure lots of teasing from him. âIf i knew you were so attractive to other cookies, i would have made you the main character!â He says while poking you.
#guys i typed the word anycookie what the heck does anycookie mean#anypony#im such a dork#i used partner for smc because i hc him as gender fluid#crk#crk x reader#x reader#crk x you#shadow milk cookie x reader#cookie run kingdom x you#cookie run kingdom x reader#mystic flour cookie x reader#eternal sugar cookie x reader#burning spice cookie x reader#beast cookies
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Love is so blind, it feelâs right when itâs wrong
Ë.đàŒâ Summary: what was supposed to be a quiet retreat turns into an unforgettable romance with a man almost twice your age (or the story of how your boyfriendâs dad seduces you). àŸ. đ Ì Word count: 17.5k
á”!á”â.áá”!cw: cheating !!! donât read if uncomfortable !!!! mentions of food throughout the whole thing (they will nawt be hungry), also I do not encourage big age gap relationship irl, this is a fictional and heavily ROMANTICIZED story (ladies donât let older guys take advantage of you !!)
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âËàż Tags: MDNI â smut (itâs basically pwp), soft power dynamics, forced proximity, boyfriendâs dad (meaning cheating â donât read if u donât like it), age gap (OC is 27, Sunghoon is in very late 30âs!), one bed trope, doting and dom!Sunghoon,, đ
âsmut tags: corruption kink, undertones of ddlg (no use of daddy), heavy petting, groping, spanking, possessive and obsessive Sunghoon !! (but heâs not acting like a freak), choking, brat-tamer!Sunghoon, praise kink
âËâȘ Playlist: LDR â norman fucking rockwell + Baekhyun â delight
â. đ Ì A/N: was this plot just an excuse to write 17k Sunghoon smut? YES lmfaoo. My reqs are currently OPEN for Niki, Sunghoon and Jake, pleeeease request something (I donât mind detailed reqs, because Iâm not writing anything atm and would love a new project) đ also Iâm opening an AO3 account by the end of the month đŠàœČàŸ
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Youâre holding onto your seatbelt as your boyfriend Jihoon speeds over the winding road up the hill.
âSlow down,â you tell him, knowing itâs in vain.
Youâd only been together for six months, and this was supposed to be your first real coupleâs retreat. The plan had sounded romanticâ staying at his dadâs remote cabin, no cell service, time to unwind, just the two of youâbut right now, youâre gripping the handle on the door and trying to bite your tongue as the car takes another sharp curve.
He exhales sharply, like your voice is a burden. âWeâre literally ten minutes away.â
âThatâs not the point.â
âOh my god,â he mutters. âWhat is the point, then? That Iâm not driving the way you like?â
You glance at him. He hasnât looked at you once since you got in the car.
âIâm trying to talk to you,â you say quietly. âYouâve been on edge since we left.â
âIâve been on edge?â he laughs, humorless. âYouâre the one who quit your job and suddenly needed a âhealing escape.ââ
You go still. The words hit harder than they should.
âI told you why I left.â
âRight. Because it was âtoxic.ââ He throws air quotes around the word with one hand while the other grips the wheel. âOr maybe you just couldnât the real world.â
Silence drops like a rock between you.
You stare out the window, jaw tight. Trees blur byâdark pines, broken sunlight. The air feels heavier than it should.
He sighs again. âLook, I didnât mean it like that. Iâm just saying, not everything is a crisis.â
âI didnât ask for a crisis,â you murmur. âI asked for support.â
He doesnât respond.
Not when the road evens out. Not when the trees thin and the sea appears in the distance, glittering like glass. Not even when the outline of the cliffside cabin comes into viewâtucked into green and shadow like it was built to disappear.
Jihoon pulls into the gravel clearing with a crunch of tires. The cabin stands just aheadâsmaller than you imagined, all warm wood and deep shadows, the ocean visible just beyond the slope. Itâs stupidly beautiful here. It almost makes you more angry.
He doesnât bother to put the car in park before saying, âWell. We made it.â
You sit still. The air between you is thick with things unsaid.
âI guess we did,â you say.
He drums his fingers on the steering wheel, glancing at the rearview mirror like he's already thinking about leaving. âDo you want help bringing your stuff in orâŠâ
âNo,â you cut in. âIâve got it.â
That finally gets his attention. He turns toward you, frowning. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
You unbuckle your seatbelt. âIt means I think we need space. A break. Just a few days.â
His mouth pulls into that condescending half-smile youâve grown to hate. âSo what, youâre kicking me out?â
âIâm asking you to give me time to think,â you say, voice calm but tight. âI came here to breathe. You donât want to be here anyway.â
He scoffs. âWow. Alright then.â
You open the door and step out before he can say anything else. The gravel shifts beneath your shoes as you head to the trunk. He doesnât move to help youânot a step.
You drag your suitcase out, the wheels catching on rock and dirt.
When you turn back, Jihoonâs already behind the wheel again. Sunglasses on. Expression unreadable.
You pause. Half of you expects him to get out anyway. To walk over. Say something. Fight for this.
But he doesnât.
He raises one hand in a lazy wave. âEnjoy your break, I guess.â
And then he hits the gas.
The car kicks up dust and pebbles as it speeds off, tires whining slightly on the curve. You watch the taillights shrink and vanish down the hill. Just like that, heâs gone.
Melancholy creeps into you like a shadow, sighing you canât help but judge yourself. Really, what were you thinking going for a younger guy. And yeah, maybe 5 years wasnât that much but as your 27th birthday approaches you somehow wish Jihoon could be more mature, less selfish. You shake the thought away and tightly grip your suitcase.
The wind rises a little, brushing your hair into your face. Thereâs no one around. No sound but the gulls and the faint hush of waves crashing far below.
The sound of your steps crunching down on the gravel is loud compared to the quiet hush of the nature around you.
You look at the cabin again. And someone is standing in the doorway.
Tall. Broad-shouldered. White shirt sleeves pushed to the elbows.
You squint against the sun. Then recognize him.
Mr. Park. Jihoonâs father.
He steps out onto the porch, bootsteps slow and deliberate. Youâve met him once before, at a dinnerâJihoon had barely let you talk, but Mr. Park had been polite, distant. Watchful.
Now, he looks at your suitcase. Then at you. His expression doesnât change, but his eyes sharpen.
âDid Jihoon just leave you here alone?â he asks and you can tell heâs angry at his son.
You exhale through your nose. âApparently I needed a break.â
Thereâs a beat of silence.
Then so quietly you think you imagined it, âHeâs more like his mother than I thought.â
You blink. You donât know how to answer that.
Mr. Park glances at the suitcase again, then back to your face.
âYou staying the week?â
You nod. âThat was the plan.â
He tilts his head toward the open door.
âThen come inside. Windâs picking up,â he states, as he bends ever so slightly and reaches for your suitcase. His fingers brush against yours as he grabs hold of the suitcase. You let him. But youâre still hesitating, stuck to the same spot on the driveway.
He notices.
âI donât bite,â he says, and the corner of his mouth lifts just slightly. Not quite a smile. Not quite a joke.
Then he turns and walks back into the cabinâlike he knows youâll follow.
And you do, eyes lingering on the subtle shift of his shoulders beneath his shirt.
If that dinner months ago was any indication, heâs a man of few words. Quiet, intense. Unreadable.
It didnât help that you also thought he was very good looking. Long, black hair tucked behind one ear, a few strands falling across sharp cheekbones. Thin silver glasses framing his eyes, drawing attention to the thick brows that make his expression look seriousâeven when heâs relaxed.
He looks like someone who doesnât speak unless it matters. Someone who sees more than he lets on.
And now youâre stuck in a cabin with him.
A cabin you thought would be empty. Jihoon never mentioned his dad was here.
Kicking off your shoes on the porch, you follow Mr. Park inside.
The inside of the cabin is warmer than you expected. Not just in temperature, but in toneâlike someone curated comfort instead of just decorating it.
The floor is rich in dark wood and worn slightly in the center like it's been walked barefoot a hundred times. A plush sofa stretches across one side of the open-plan living area, upholstered in a deep jade green that catches the light from the tall windows. A few burnt orange cushions are scattered along its lengthâjust enough color to feel intentional.
The kitchen is minimalist but modern. Clean black stone countertops. Matte brown cabinetry. Pans hanging above the stove, catching glints of sunlight through the trees outside. Thereâs a teapot already out on the burnerâold but polished, like it gets used daily.
A single spiral staircase in wrought iron and wood winds upward to the lofted bedroom, perched just above the living space. It has no doorâjust a wooden railing and a clean sightline to the floor below.
You can see the bed from where youâre standing. Itâs large, maybe a queen, with a low frame and linen sheets in soft earth tones. Moss green. Warm gray. A single burnt orange throw draped carelessly across the foot.
Thereâs no real privacy, not with the open layout. You can already imagine the sounds of footsteps on the stairs, the creak of bedsprings, even the breath of someone turning over in the night.
The whole place smells faintly of cedar, citrus, and coffee.
Itâs domestic. Intimate. A little too intimate, maybe.
âUm-â
âSo,â you two start speaking at the same time.
You glance at each other. You offer a tight laugh.
âSorry. Go ahead.â
He shakes his head. âLadies first.â
You shift your bag higher on your shoulder. âI was just going to ask⊠would I be, um, in your way? I mean, I didnât know anyone else would be here.â
His gaze flicks toward your suitcase. âYouâre not in my way.â
A beat. Youâre not sure what to do with your hands. âJihoon didnât mention youâd be staying here.â
He gives the faintest shrug. âI didnât know he was planning on coming either.â
You nod slowly, not sure how to respond.
âI usually come up for a few weeks every summer,â he adds. âTo work, itâs nice and quiet here, no buzz of the city.â
âIt is nice,â you say as you glance around again, avoiding looking in Mr. Parkâs eyes. But you can feel his gaze on you. Itâs making you squirm and you start overthinking everything. From your clothes, to your hair and down to your makeup.
âIt grows on you,â he says, finally tearing his eyes off you.
Another pause. You try to find something to say. Something neutral.
âI like the colors,â you say finally. âAll the⊠green. And wood. It feels⊠warm.â
He almost smiles. âThat was my doing. The decorator wanted everything to be white and steel.â
You blink. âWait. You picked the throw pillows?â
His eyes crinkle just slightly. âIâm not a savage.â
That makes you laugh, even though you try to stifle it. His gaze lingers on the sound. It softens something in his face.
Then he nods toward your bag. âYou want tea? Or coffee?â
âTea would be nice,â you say.
âIâll get your things upstairs.â
You protest, âOh, itâs fine, reallyââ
But heâs already moving.
âIâll set it by the railing,â he says over his shoulder. âYouâll be able to see everything from up there.â
Including him, you thinkâbut you donât say it.
He disappears up the steps, feet thudding lightly against the polished wood. You hear the creak of the loft floor above you, and then silence.
You glance around the living room again, unsure what to do with yourself. The couch is a soft, worn leather. A stack of books sits on the coffee table. Nature. Photography. One novel with a cracked spine.
The kettle whistles from the kitchen, sharp and sudden.
You reach for it, but Mr. Park is already coming back down the stairs.
âIâve got it,â he says.
You step back instinctively. He moves past you, not touching you, but close enough that you feel his presence, his warmth.
You silently move into the kitchen with him and watch him as he pours the hot water, slides the mug towards you and then fixes his own tea as well.
Chamomile tea with no sugar, just the way you like it.
âOh, thank you,â you softly say as you wrap both of your hands around the cup and bring it up to your lips, blowing gently.
Mr. Park doesnât reply, just continues moving around the kitchen. Opens the fridge. Pulls out vegetables, eggs, a small bundle of herbs wrapped in twine.
You hover for a moment. Then, ask uncertain.
âDo you want help?â
He glances back, his dark locks falling onto his cheekbones. You almost want to fix the bothersome strands, but suppress the itch to have an excuse to touch him. He is your boyfriendâs dad for godâs sake!
âNo need. Youâve had a long trip.â
You offer a faint smile, trying to make it casual. âNot exactly the coupleâs retreat I imagined.â
That earns you a low, dry sound. Almost a laugh. And against yourself youâre pleased.
He turns back to the cutting board. Begins to chop in precise, even strokes. Everything about him is deliberate. Controlled.
Then, without looking up he asks. âHe left you up here alone?â only it wasnât really a question.
You pause. ââŠHe was upset. We argued.â
Sunghoon hums, neutral, but not quite, âHeâs always been impulsive.â
A brief glance your way.
âDidnât inherit that from me.â The words are clipped. Measured. Sharper than the knife heâs holding.
You hesitate. âYou two arenât close?â
He shrugs.
âNot the way Iâd like. He doesnât⊠think before he acts.â His voice is calm, but thereâs weight behind it. History.
You tuck your hands under your thighs. âI guess I was hoping this trip would⊠reset things.â
He finally looks at youâreally looks.
âYou deserve more than hoping.â
Sunghoon continues cooking and you continue drinking tea as you try not to stare at him. You tell yourself to look away. Instead, your eyes trace the flex of his forearms as he works. The slow rhythm of the blade. The subtle tilt of his head as he concentrates.
Youâre still staring when he speaks.
âSee something you like?â
Your stomach drops.
He doesnât look at you. Just slides chopped zucchini into a pan like he didnât say anything at all.
You blink. âSorryâI didnât mean toââ
âVegetables,â he says smoothly, mouth quirking. âI meant the vegetables.â
You let out a short laugh. Your cheeks are too warm. You take a sip of tea to mask it.
He finally meets your gaze. His expression is unreadableâbut something in it lingers, like a touch you werenât expecting.
âIâm making it for us,â he says. âHope youâre hungry.â
The food is comforting. Warm rice, sautĂ©ed vegetables, the kind of seasoning that makes you pause for just a second, surprised itâs this good. Youâre halfway through your bowl when the quiet between you stretches too long, and you feel the need to fill it.
âThank you,â you say softly. âThis is... really good.â
Mr. Park nods once. âSimpleâs best up here. No delivery. No distractions.â
You glance at the windows, where the sunâs started to dip lower behind the trees. The silence out here feels different. Like it listens.
You clear your throat. âSo⊠about the sleeping arrangements.â
He looks up at you, expression unreadable.
You add quickly, âI mean, I know you said I could take the bed, but I donât want toââ
âYou wonât, the couch isnât suitable for sleeping anyway,â he interrupts gently. âDoesnât stretch out.â
You blink. âOh. Right. Of course. I didnât know.â
His gaze lingers. âItâs not a problem. The bed fits two.â
You hesitate. âMr. Park, I just donât want to make you uncomfortableââ
âSunghoon,â he says, voice low but firm. âCall me Sunghoon.â
You look at him. That subtle edge of command in his toneânot aggressive, not inappropriate. Just... sure. Your stomach flips.
âOkay. Sunghoon,â you softly say, his name heavy on your tongue. Like youâre saying a bad word. Forbidden.
His eyes stay on you a moment too long as if he can feel it too. Feel your unspoken desire. You fidget in your chair, his eyes piercing.
Then, just like that, he stands, collecting the dishes with easy efficiency. You rise to help, but he waves you off.
âIâve got it. ButâŠâ He pauses at the fridge. âDo you want dessert?â
You blink. âYou have dessert?â
âKind of.â He opens the freezer. âOne popsicle left.â
You let out a soft laugh. âWe can split it.â
He tears the wrapper and hands you the stick. You take it, a bit taken aback that he unwrapped it for you. So far Sunghoon was being really caring towards you and you couldnât tell if heâs being like this because heâs so much older than you and instinctively wants to take care of you specifically or if heâs always like this and it doesnât mean anything.
Your lips wrap around the cold stick, the cold sharp and sweet on your tongue. You hear Sunghoon open the tap as he starts washing up. By the time heâs done youâre halfway done with the popsicle.
Sunghoon sits down on the sofa, right next to you as he watches the way your cheeks dip as you suckle and bite on the stick. Eyes dark, lids heavy and legs spread. But you donât notice as you absent mindedly scroll through TV channels.
âWould you like some?â you innocently ask, âthought we said weâd split it?â only to almost drop the cold stick when you turn to look at him. Heat spreads through you like wildfire.
Sunghoon is sitting down on the couch looking like pure sex. Glasses sliding down his nose, hair a bit messy from brushing it back and heavy-lidded. Without hesitation, he slowly leans in and wraps his lips around the same spot your lips had just touched.
His mouth is slow as he softly bites down on whatâs left of the popsicle. Hand wrapped around the same stick youâre holding. Deliberate. The wet sound of his tongue and the quiet sucking goes straight down to your core.
âI donât mind sharing,â he says, dark eyes on you.
When he pulls back, he licks a faint drip from the corner of his mouth. The slow drag of his tongue as he pulls away makes you forget what you were about to say.
You stare at him. You canât help it.
The air feels heavier now. Warmer. Intimate in a different way. He takes one last bite, then tosses the stick into the trash like nothing happened.
âYou should get some rest,â he murmurs. âYou can unpack tomorrow.â
You nod, fingers still cold from holding the popsicle. Mouth still warm from watching him.
And when you finally climb the stairs to the open loft, you know exactly what youâll be thinking about when you try to sleep.
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You wake up sweaty and sticky. Annoyed, you try to shake the duvet off but freeze as you feel the warmth behind you. Sunghoon is sprawled out next to you, his glasses on the bedside table. Heâs not touching you, but with how closely heâs snuggled to you he might as well be.
You chuck the duvet off yourself, but do your best so it stays as it was on Sunghoon and let yourself fall back asleep.
The next time you wake to a steady rhythmic beat under you. You cuddle into the it, the sound calming you further into a daze. But then you register strong arms draped over you, hugging you protectively. And you realize youâre literally laying down on Sunghoonâs chest.
His arms tighten around you when he feels you waking up.
âFinally up, huh,â he mumbles, but his voice is kind. Sleep still seeping into it.
âDidnât want to move and wake you, sorry,â he tells you and lets you roll off him.
âSorry,â you squeal, face turning red, âhope I didnât droll, Iâm not usually the cuddling type.â
âNo? Sâkay, I didnât mind it,â Sunghoon tells you as if it was nothing and starts getting ready for the day.
Youâre still hiding your face behind the duvet as you listen to his quiet shuffle around the small loft. It is only when you hear the front door shut that you force yourself to get up too.
The morning is spent in quiet solitude that you invite with open arms, enjoying the scenery. You prepare yourself a simple breakfast and a tea to go along with it. As you sip on it you see Sunghoon outside, taking photos. And thatâs when you remember Jihoon telling you his dad did photography.
You go back upstairs to unpack and change out of your pajamas. Itâs true that it was summer, but the mountain air was a bit chillier so you decide on an oversized sweater, shorts and knee socks.
As you go out, you look around for Sunghoon, slightly jogging up to him when you spot him just off the trail. Near the forest. The sun is high up in the sky and Sunghoon has his camera raised, gaze narrowed like heâs tracking something invisible. A gull wheels overhead. His finger clicks the shutter.
"You're out early," you say, a little breathless from jogging. You brush your hair out of your face.
He turns at the sound of your voice. His eyes take you inâsweater hanging off one shoulder, the soft skin of your thighs above those socksâand thereâs a flicker of something there. But just as quick as you notice it, itâs gone.
"Best light doesnât wait. You want to try?" he asks.
"Really?" you ask, already shuffling closer to him.
Sunghoon watches you as he gruffly tells you, "come here."
He pauses when you leave some polite space between the two of you.
"Closer," he tells you, opening his chest as he indicates he wants you to come directly against his chest. You gulp as you move, his broad stature engulfing you as he put his arms around you and holds the camera in front of you.
"Iâve never held one like this before," you tell him, your heart racing at the proximity.
Sunghoon quietly chuckles, "that much is obvious. Relax your gripâyouâre choking it," his hand over your, softly fixing your fingers.
"Sorryâ"
"No need to apologize. Just let me guide you," and you do, his fingers guide you, as his breath caresses your neck. And you have to suppress a shiver when he quietly speaks next, his voice right next to your ear, breath tickling your neck.
"Tilt your wrists like this... yeah. Just like that. Feel better?"
"A little," you rasp and you swear his voice sounds deeper than before. You feel a warm buzzing seep from your inner thighs and try your best to will the thoughts away.
"Donât overthink it. Let the camera rest in your hands. Let it want to be touched," he speaks, his hands moving from your wrists up your arms and settling on your shoulders as he watches you click away.
You softly chuckle in hopes of dissipating tension"youâre making it sound... kind of dirty."
"Is that how youâre hearing it?" he asks, not bothered in the slightest, but his hands on your shoulders start applying pressure â almost in warning.
"I didnât meanâ" you fumble for words, panic shooting through you. How was he always so calm?
"Mm. Focus here. Look through the viewfinder. Keep your hands steady," he cuts you off. His face is right next to your as he looks into the viewfinder.
"Breathe in," he proffers.
A beat passes as you breathe in and you swear heat builds between you. But only his hands touch you, their weight a constant reminder of how close he is.
"Now exhale slowly. Feel that? How everything sharpens when you stop fighting it?"
"Yeah..." you say, your voice coming out in a quiet breath. You shuffle in your spot, your shorts rubbing against your lower lips.
"Good girl," says Sunghoon, his voice like honey to your ears. But still â you momentarily falter, his voice bringing you back to reality.
"Mr. Park..." you hope your voice is at least a little serious, turning slightly to look at him through your lashes.
"If you keep calling me that, Iâm going to start thinking you like it," Sunghoon easily replies, his gaze dropping to your lips. Itâs back on your eyes just as quickly, so much so that you start to think you imagined it.
"Is that a problem?" flustered, you laugh and take a step forward. His hands drop from your shoulder as he continues watching you. A lip caught between his teeth.
"Not at all. But if weâre going to keep doing this... itâs Sunghoon. Say it."
"Sunghoon," you say, turning to look back at him.
"Better," he smirks and your gaze falls to the grass.
Sunghoon takes over the camera then, and you end up spending the entire day with him. Mostly just listening, letting his quiet confidence settle into the spaces where your thoughts usually race. He explains this and thatâaperture, lighting, textureâand you try your best to keep up, even though you mostly just enjoy the sound of his voice. Low and calm, like the tide pulling in.
For lunch, you make sandwiches for the both of you, slicing the bread carefully while heâs still reviewing the shots on his camera. You place the plate beside him with a soft, "Here."
He glances up, genuinely surprised. Then, that soft flicker of something like warmth passes through his eyes.
"You didnât have to, sweet girl," he says.
Just like that. Casual. Almost lazy. But your face burns for the next hour.
By the time the sun dips behind the trees, painting the cabin in golden light, he mentions putting on a movie in the living roomâand you stupidly agree before even thinking to ask which movie.
You only realize your mistake when he dims the lights and presses play on Hereditary.
The couch is wide but low, sunken from use. You curl into yourself immediately, legs folded up beneath you, oversized sweater sleeves covering your hands. You retreat into your corner like a cat anticipating a thunderstorm.
Sunghoon claims the other sideâsprawled out, knees wide, one arm draped over the backrest. He doesnât look at you, but his presence takes up all the space anyway. Calm. Heavy.
Youâre not touching. But you can feel him.
At first the movie is fine. Almost boring. Youâve seen horror films before, and for a while Hereditary just feels like another clichĂ© movie. A family unraveling. A creeping unease.
But as the minutes tick by, your body starts to betray you. The way the music swells without warning. The shadows that linger a little too long in the corners of the screen. The sudden cuts to faces that shouldn't be there.
Your fingers curl into the blanket. You try to laugh onceâforce it out like itâs no big dealâbut it dies in your throat.
Beside you, Sunghoon doesnât move. He watches with the same intense stillness he brings to everything. Like he already knows exactly whatâs coming.
When the first real scare landsâa sharp cut, a scream, something unnatural jerking into frameâyou jump.
Not dramatically. Not even enough to make a sound, but enough that your knee brushes his thigh.
You freeze.
So does he.
Then, slowly, you start to pull awayâ
âScared?â His voice is low. Barely a whisper. Almost amused.
You glance at him from the corner of your eye, only to find that he's already watching you. Not the screen.
âItâs just a movie,â you say, trying to play it off.
But your voice isnât steady. Not enough to fool either of you.
He doesnât call you on it. Just leans a little closer, arm still draped behind you on the couch.
âCome here,â he says simply. Not a question. Not a suggestion.
Just⊠an offer.
And somehow, thatâs even more dangerous.
âItâs fine, really,â you tell him but as the climax of the movie approaches youâre getting progressively more and more scared. Your eyes shifting in paranoia to look outside the windows to make sure no one is looking in, you almost scream when a big hand wraps around your wrist.
But you relax, when you realize itâs just Sunghoon. He pulls you right against himself, his arm falling protectively against your body. He moves your legs so theyâre resting in his lap, his other arm placed on your naked thighs.
âYouâre too stubborn,â he tells you, but his arms tighten around you whenever you jump.
Once the movie ends, the room is too quiet.
You donât move at first, staring blankly at the credits. Thereâs still a weight in your chestâyour heartbeat quick, your breath shallow. That last scene⊠you wish you hadnât watched it.
Sunghoon stretches, slow and deliberate, his body radiating calm. He looks down at youâreally looksâand sees it.
âToo much for you, sweetheart?â
His voice is low. Gentle. Like heâs talking to someone much smaller, like heâs already tucking you into safety without moving an inch.
You glance at him, face warming. You nod, just barely.
âIt got really scary at the end,â you admit softly, voice small.
He doesnât tease. Doesnât laugh. Instead he softly asks, âWant me to put something else on?â
You nod again, biting your lip. âCan we⊠watch a cartoon? Something stupid. With animals, or magic. Just something nice.â
That earns the smallest smirk. Not mockingâfond.
âOf course you want animals.â
He reaches for the remote, his hand trailing down your thighs. He pulls your sliding sock back over your knee, smoothing over the goosebumps that appear on your thigh where he touches.
âAny favorites, baby girl?â
The nickname makes your stomach flip, but you donât correct him. You just sink a little deeper into the couch and mumble something about whateverâs cute.
Sunghoon scrolls quietly until something soft and colorful starts playing. You donât even register what it isâjust the bright lights and silly voices, the kind of show you used to watch on Sunday mornings with cereal in your lap.
He glances at you again.
âBetter?â
You scoot deeper into him âmhm,â you whisper. âThanks⊠Sunghoonie.â
Thereâs a pause, and then you feel his hand move, caressing your thigh.
After some time you shuffle against him again â your back hurt after laying sideways. Your legs spread as you sit on Sunghoonâs lap, now chest to chest with him as you let your head rest on his broad shoulder.
You donât seem to realize youâre straddling him, Sunghoonâs even breathing lulling you into a sleepy haze. You just knew the TV light was starting to bother you and Sunghoon was warm. So you snuggle further into him.
He doesnât say anything, instead he brings his legs closer and angles his hips upwards, so your core is pressed directly against his. You squirm around a bit, trying to find a comfy position when you feel it.
Something is poking right against your butt, just as you sit fully down and begin to nod off. Bothered by the prodding you subconsciously roll and press your hips against Sunghoonâs warm body. Â You quietly groan, as pleasure starts replacing discomfort.
You continue dragging your hips up and down and Sunghoon groans underneath you. You moan, nuzzling your head into his neck as you push your front into his chest. Sunghoonâs hands travel from your thighs to your waist and itâs getting harder to breathe.
You pick up the pace, grinding with more intent when his hands grip your hips, the strength forcing you to stop. You whine at the loss of friction.
âYouâre sleepy baby, let me take you upstairs,â Sunghoon groans, his voice hoarse as if heâs holding himself back from saying too much.
You let him lift you up in bridal position and carry you upstairs. He softly lays you down on your side of the bed. You donât hear him, as he quietly goes into the bathroom. Trying to hold back any sounds as he grips his hard and leaking cock. And maybe that night he furiously tugs at his cock like a teenager, cumming embarrassingly fast before heâs able to come and sleep next to you. But you donât know that, already asleep.
When you wake the next day youâre tangled with Sunghoon again. Youâre calmer this morning compared to the previous one, and thatâs when his hand twitches â shifting the mood. Youâre spooning, only Sunghoonâs hand isnât around your waist. No, itâs resting directly on your boob. Almost fondling it. You feel twitching as he starts waking up, the hand on your boob momentarily tightens into a grope, and you feel your nipples stifling, poking up. You mewl, subconsciously pushing your chest further into his hand.
You donât move more than that, pretending youâre still sleeping as Sunghoon carefully continues touching you.
His fingers pinch your nipple, hips pressing into you. You feel how hard he is, and memories of last night fill your mind. Afarid he will pull away again you continue pretending to sleep. Sunghoon quietly groans into your ear, his hips rutting against your ass. The hand covering your tit less gentle as he roughly massages your boob.
You try really hard not to make any noise, not to push back, even though the ache building between your thighs has you nearly shaking in want. A moan escapes you when his thrusts get more irregular, less controlled and his dick twitches right against your lips.
Not being able to take it anymore you jut your ass out, shifting your thighs so you feel more pressure on your pussy. You quietly moan when Sunghoonâs other hand sneaks underneath your laying figure, resting on your navel.
âMy sweet little thing, so good to me,â he breathes, pulling you into a back hug as he lets you feel his hard cock.
He breathes in your hair and you mewl when his hips move, thrusting upwards. Your pussy clenching around nothing and you feel your panties start sticking to you.
Youâre a whining mess as Sunghoon lets you rub yourself on his cock and he continues playing with your nipple, pinching and pulling at it. Noting what makes you whine and moan the loudest. Hit other hand drawing comforting circles on your navel and you wish heâd let it slip under your shorts.
âFeel good, baby?â he asks you, nose grazing your neck, hips gently thrusting into yours, âyou like when da-â he coughs, âwhen I play with you, hm pretty?â he asks, before leaving a soft kiss right where your ear meets your neck.
âYou poor thing, canât even properly do it by yourselfâ he pouts at you, mocking you. But you donât realize it, instead pouting as you nod.
âYeah Hoonie,â you whine âneed your help.â
Just then a loud smack ruins the moment, Sunghoonâs hand coming down your thigh in stinging pleasure. You hiss and blink at him, dazed and still needy. But the way heâs looking at you nowâstern, jaw tightâmakes your stomach knot.
âThatâs enough,â he says, voice low and sharp.
You blink again, still catching up. He left you empty, just when you were getting there.
âWhaâ?â
âYou have a boyfriend,â he says flatly, standing up fully. He adjusts himself in his boxers, then runs a hand through his hair like heâs trying to wipe the heat off. âWhat the hell are we doing?â
The words sting more than you want them to.
âYou started it,â you shoot back, voice soft but defiant. âYou didnât seem to mind a second ago.â
His head tilts. Slowly.
âAnd Iâm ending it,â he says, firmer now, like youâre testing him. âBefore either of us does something weâll regret.â
You scoff, crossing your arms as you look away. âMaybe youâll regret it. I wonât.â
Heâs quiet for a beat.
âTake a walk.â
You glance up at him, pout deepening as your eyebrows furrow.
âMake me.â
That gets him.
He steps forward, just a little too closeâhis shadow long over your legs.
âDonât tempt me, sweetheart,â he murmurs, voice low and rough. âGo cool off. Before I stop caring that youâre someone elseâs problem.â
You sit on the edge of the bed, still warm and buzzing from the way he pulled away. Your thighs press together instinctively, but you refuse to let it show.
âWhatever,â you mumble to yourself, standing to rummage through your suitcase.
You start peeling off yesterdayâs clothesâtossing the rumpled sweater and socks into a cornerâand Sunghoon pushes past you, down the stairs.
You pull on something softer: a little camisole, barely opaque, and matching shorts that reach barely over your butt. You add a loose cardigan over it, just in case. Not like you're dressing for anyone.
As you start to turn away, something on the nightstand catches your eye.
A book.
You pick it up and see itâs Dracula. Of course, you loudly exhale through your nose in a quiet chuckle. Leather-bound, dog-eared, marked with a single worn slip of paper. You flip through a few pages, thumbing the edge. It smells like cedar and time. Somehow, that feels like him, too.
Curling onto the bed, you prop a pillow behind you and let yourself sink into it. Reading helps. Sort of. The frustration doesnât really fadeâbut it settles, coiled and waiting.
Downstairs, you hear the front door open and shut. A car engine stirs to life. Sunghoonâs going somewhere.
Good.
You need space.
By the time the sun has risen higher and warmed the back patio, youâre already downstairs, water bottle in hand. You tug a towel out from the closet, find your sunglasses, and step out into the golden light. The air is warmer today. Still crisp from the mountain wind, but hot enough to sunbathe.
You stretch out on the lounging, sighing as the sun warms your skin. You donât even hear the car pull back inâuntil the crunch of gravel in the driveway makes you glance up.
The door shuts.
And then you hear it. The steady, familiar steps rounding toward the back of the house.
Sunghoon. Butterflies erupt in your tummy even though youâre still mad at him.
He stops in the doorway, sunglasses pushed up on his head, one hand full of grocery bags, the other holding something vaguely bottledâwine, maybe. You donât watch, but you hear him putting groceries away inside the kitchen.
Heâs back out after five minutes. You take note of his clothes despite yourself â a tight black tee, accentuating his muscular frame and broad shoulders paired with light washed jorts.
His eyes find you.
âNeed help with sunscreen?â he says, voice deceptively casual as his eyes drink you up. Clad in a flimsy pink bikini set that barely covered anything.
You peek at him over your sunglasses, not bothering to sit up.
âIâve got hands, donât I?â you say, all mock-innocence. âPretty sure I can manage rubbing lotion on myself.â
Sunghoon doesnât move, doesnât flinch. Just arches a brow like heâs heard this kind of sass beforeâand knows exactly what to do with it.
âMm,â he hums, stepping fully onto the patio. âThought maybe your hands needed a break, since they were so busy earlier.â
Your stomach dips. You shoot him a glareâhalf mortified, half flusteredâand throw an arm over your face dramatically.
âYou said we werenât talking about that.â
âI said we were done,â he corrects. He walks towards you pushing his hair out of his face. âDidnât say anything about keeping my mouth shut.â
You snort despite yourself, still hiding under your arm. âYouâre impossible.â
âAnd youâre burning,â he says coolly, pointing at the tops of your thighs with the little bottle of sunscreen he grabbed on his way out. âFlip over or sit up, brat. You choose.â
That gets your attention.
You peek up again, pout forming instantly. âYouâre so bossy when you donât get what you want.â
He steps closer, crouching down beside your lounger now, one big hand coming to rest casually on the side of the chair near your hip.
âSweetheart,â he murmurs, voice dipping dangerously low, âif I were getting what I want, you wouldnât be able to lie still right now.â
You blink, heat rising all the way to your ears.
He twists the cap off the sunscreen and holds it up between two fingers. âWell?â
You make a show of sighing. âFine,â you grumble, rolling onto your stomach with an exaggerated huff, the curve of your ass now fully on display. âBut you better not make it weird.â
âOh, baby,â he says, smoothing lotion into his palms, âI think weâre way past that.â
And then his hands are on you. He starts with your calves, wrapping his big arm around your plush skin, hot after being warmed by the sun now high up in the sky.
You force your breathing to stay even as Sunghoon rubs the sunscreen on your skin. Even though his touch was on your legs, the way his fingers knew where to apply pressure and massage made your skin tingle with raw want.
But Sunghoon smoothly continues, his hands traveling past your knee and on the back of your thighs. Once he reaches your sensitive spot you unknowingly spread your legs slightly and Sunghoon smirks, squeezing the sunscreen directly onto your skin, straight from the bottle.
You shriek, âthatâs cold.â
âServes you right for being a brat,â he lightly scolds. His hands rub the cold cream on the spot right where your thighs meet your butt, eyes glued to the spot between your thighs. He licks his lips, his fingers continuing working on your inner thighs. High. His long digits reach your bikini, grazing your lower lips and you twitch. He smirks, not saying anything.
Your breath is shallow as as his hands grasp your thighs, nails softly digging into your skin as he drags circles into your skin â spreading the sunscreen all over your legs. Sunghoon, ever the detail oriented man, doesnât miss a single spot.
You butt starts lifting, against your best tries to just lay there and take it.
Sunghoonâs breathing is heavier when he squirts the cream on his hands again and starts spreading the creamy substance over your butt. Your bikini bottoms start to wedge into your ass, turning it more into a thong the longer he plays with you.
You sigh, melting into your chair as Sunghoonâs hand slips under your bottoms.
âGotta make sure you donât get burned anywhere,â he explains, his voice dropping an octave and you clench around nothing.
You just hope he doesnât feel how wet youâve gotten and scold you again. Sunghoon squeeze your butt and jiggles it, watching the shine from the cream reflect from it. It made your butt look so inviting and he has to bite his lip so an inappropriate comment doesnât slip past his lips.
You on the other hand are holding your breath in quiet anticipation, but Sunghoonâs hands are already on your back. Hands sticky from the sun block as he carefully finishes his application. Grazing your lower back, then your waist and moving onto your shoulder blades.
âYouâre trembling, sweetheart. You want more and you donât even realize it yet, do you?â Sunghoon quietly murmurs by your ear, his voice telling you everything he isnât saying.
Your bodyâs humming. Youâre dizzy. Youâre about to turn around and do something recklessâ
But then heâs telling you to turn around so he can do your front side as well.
You listen, moving the sunglasses so they cover your eyes. But Sunghoon doesnât miss your blushing cheeks and the bead of sweat right in the middle of your boobs.
âGood girl, see how well we get along when you listen to me?â he teases as he rubs on your stomach. His fingers touching your underboob, pushing your top up and revealing the softness underneath.
You moan a small âmhm,â putty in his hands. You donât dare to glance at him when he is this close. But his shadow looming over your laying figure and his scent all around you is enough to make you dizzy, all your senses filled with him. Sunghoon. Sunghoon. Sunghoon. Everywhere around you.
The moment is broken by the shrill of your phone. Sunghoon flinches away from you, as if he was caught doing something he knew he shouldnât be.
You re-adjust your bathing suit as you reach for your phone.
You check the screen: Jihoon.
You hesitate, and Sunghoon notices. In a low, unreadable voice he matter of fact asks you. âDonât let it go to voicemail. Heâs still your boyfriend, isnât he?â
You answer. Jihoonâs tone is annoyed and distracted right off the bat. âHey. You alive or what? I texted you yesterday.â
âIâve been fine. Itâs⊠itâs peaceful up here,â you reply, lowkey already exhausted from this conversation.
âThatâs the whole point. You needed to chill out. You were being weird lately,â he tells you in a clipped voice.
Your stomach twists. Your words feel small.
âDid you know your dad was going to be here?â you ask instead of giving into the fight he was starting.
âSo what if he is? Heâs never even home, I figured heâd be working like always,â he defensively nags.
âWell, heâs not. He saw everything, Jihoon. When you dropped me off.â
At this point, you hear the rustle of movementâSunghoon, standing just behind you now.
âLet me talk to him,â he tells you, reaching his hand towards the phone. Youâre caught off guard but hand the phone over without thinking. He takes it with fingers still faintly warm from your skin.
âJihoon,â Sunghoon interrupts him.
A long pause is heard before he speaks again. âYou left her alone, without food, without checking in. You didnât even tell her Iâd be here. What exactly were you thinking?â
You donât hear Jihoonâs reply, but Sunghoonâs answers has you assuming what mustâve been said anyway.
âShe said she wanted space, so you dumped her at the edge of a mountain?â âGrow up,â he tells him, visibly annoyed.
âThatâs enough, Jihoon.â He pauses, listening before speaking again. âYou lost the right to have an opinion the moment you left her here.â
He hands the phone back to you like it burns and goes inside the house, giving you privacy to finish the call.
You hold the phone to your ear and Jihoonâs voice is furious now âwhat the fuck was that? You seriously told my dad on me?â
âHe saw everything, Jihoon. Heâs the one who took care of me,â you firmly tell him, refusing to be the bad guy here.
âSo now youâre what, flirting with him? Jesus, no wonder youâre acting weird,â he childishly jabs.
âIâm not the one who drove off like a child,â you tell him, trying to keep your tone steady. No matter how much Jihoon wanted to have this fight with you, you wouldnât let him ruin this vacation for you.
âYou really think he cares about you? My dad doesnât get involved. He watches people fall and doesnât say a word,â he quickly speaks, his voice panicked.
You pause. The words cutâbecause Sunghoon has cared. In ways Jihoon never has.
âThatâs funny. Heâs the only one who has,â you reply and then hang up, fuming.
đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ
You donât see Sunghoon for hours after the call. The house is too quiet and you assume he went out to take photos, since one of his cameras was absent too. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â You try to nap, to read, to scroll aimlessly on your phone, but your thoughts keep circling to the way Jihoonâs voice rang out loud enough for Sunghoon to flinch. The way Sunghoon's jaw clenched so tightly after, like he was grinding back words he didnât trust himself to say.
When the sun begins to fall behind the ridge, casting the inside of the cabin in deep, amber shadows, you finally venture out of the bedroom.
You find Sunghoon in the kitchen.
His back is to you, sleeves rolled to his elbows, knife in hand as he slices into something soft and green on the cutting board. The overhead light cuts a sharp halo over his shoulders, casting half his face in shadow when he finally turns to glance at you.
Not a word passes for a long second.
You cross your arms loosely, staying near the doorway. âI didnât know if I should come downstairs.â
He looks back down at what heâs doing. âDidnât want you to go hungry.â Thereâs warmth in that sentence, but no softness. Itâs clipped. Guarded.
You both sit at the kitchen island. The meal is simpleâroasted vegetables, grilled tofu, rice. You push food around your plate. The silence between you is heavy. Borderline unbearable.
And then, finally Sunghoon softly speaks âdonât mistake silence for regret.â
His voice is quiet, but deliberate, âI just donât trust myself to say something I wonât take back later.â
You blink. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
He doesnât answer right away. He sets down his chopsticks, leans back against the chair. His jaw is tight, but his eyes are impossibly clear as they settle on you.
âI knew I shouldnât have touched you.â A pause. He swallows. âBut you looked so small when he drove off. And I guess, I just wanted to protect you, show you the love Jihoon wasnât giving to you.â
Your chest clenches. The hurt spills before you can reel it back.
âThen why are you treating me like I did something wrong?â
His gaze sharpens.
âYou didnât. But I did. Youâre not mine⊠yet.â
The word clings in the air between you like the taste of smoke. It makes you sit a little straighter. Makes your breath catch.
He watches you intently, but not indulgently. His expression isnât soft. Itâs honest. Bruisingly so.
âYou said Iâm not yours. Like Iâm someoneâs. Iâm not.â
âItâs not that simple,â Now he looks at you.
âIt could be.â
âYou still have him.â
âI donât want him,â you cross your arms, jaw tightening.
He doesnât speak. You take a step closer, looking down at him as he still sits behind the table.
âI want you.â There it is. You said it plainly.
His gaze drops to the floor for a moment, like the weight of it hits somewhere deep. Then back to you.
âYou shouldnât.â
âBut I do.â
You pause, softer now. âYou want me too.â
He exhales once, slowly. Runs a hand through his hair. That veneer of control, cracking.
His eyes flick to yours. âOf course I do,â he says. âDonât think for a second I havenât tried to push it down.â
You donât speak. Just hold his gaze.
He threads your fingers together like itâs something heâs done a hundred times. And when he steps in close, the heat between you rises. The air shifts.
âDonât look at me like that,â he says, low. âNot unless you mean it.â
You swallow, heart pounding.
âAnd donât say my name like it matters,â he adds, âif youâre still planning to go back to him.â
Your voice comes out steadier than you expect. âIâm not going back.â
A beat. âIâm right here.â
His jaw flexes. His thumb brushes the back of your hand, almost unconsciously.
ââŠSay it again,â he murmurs. Not commanding. Just needing to hear it.
You step closer. Tip your chin up.
âIâm right here, Sunghoon.â
And then he kisses you. His mouth claims yours with a purpose that makes your knees lock. It's not hesitant, not testing. Itâs decisive. Like a line is being crossed, and heâs the one drawing it.
You gasp against him, and he swallows it whole.
The kiss is deep, slow, deliberate â not the fumbling of someone new, but the kind of kiss that knows exactly where to linger, how to make your pulse stutter. He tilts your chin just enough to control the angle, to taste you properly. Like heâs waited long enough.
It shouldnât feel this good. It shouldnât feel like relief. But it does. Because this is wrong. Because this is forbidden. And because that only makes it worse. Better, sweeter.
You feel the age between you in the way he moves â in the steadiness of his hands, in the quiet control he keeps even as he presses closer. Thereâs no rush, the kiss is slow, intimate. And his hold on you is firm, possessive, holding you close to him as if heâs scared youâll disappear if he lets go. Â
By the time he pulls back â lips parted, breathing uneven â youâre flushed down to your chest. His thumb drags over your bottom lip, slow, like heâs memorizing the shape of it now that heâs finally tasted it.
His voice is low, warm, and just a little bit patronizing â the kind of tone that curls around your spine and makes you want to misbehave just to hear it again.
âYou kissed me back, babygirl,â he murmurs, thumb brushing your lower lip. âDonât get all shy on me now.â
Your breath hitches, but you donât look away.
He tilts your chin up further, just enough to make you feel small beneath his gaze.
âWant me to stop?â he asks, voice velvet-dark. âOr do you want Mr. Park to take care of you properly this time?â
Your breath catches.
Itâs not the words exactlyâitâs the way he says them.
Mr. Park.
Your lashes flutter. That word settles somewhere low and hot in your belly, like it had been waiting to be spoken all along.
You chew your lip, looking up at him through your lashes, voice barely above a whisper.
You pause, eyes flickering across his faceâtesting, teasing. âYou wanna take care of me, Mr. Park?â you purr, face close to his. Sunghoon traces your whole face, eyes sparkling and lips curling into an almost proud smile.
âSo now you get it,â he says, voice low and rich, eyes scanning your face. âTook you long enough, baby.â
He lifts a hand, fingers brushing under your chin, tilting it up like heâs studying you, admiring his own effect.
âYou like being looked after, donât you?â His thumb grazes your bottom lip, and he hums when you part your mouth, pliant for him.
âDonât worry, sweetheart,â he whispers, hot and slow. âYouâve got me now.â
And then, quietly, firmly, sure of himself âand Mr. Park is gonna take real good care of his sweet girl.â
And then his lips are on you again, he back walks you into the living room and you let him lead, lips not parting. This kiss is messier, loud squelching sound fills the room and you canât hold back the little whines escaping past your lips.
Sunghoon doesnât mind, his hands now unashamedly groping everywhere. Your thighs, your butt, your waist, your boobs and itâs dizzying.
You gasp when your legs hit the sofa, falling back on it. You lay there, breathing uneven and Sunghoon just stands over you. Studying you, his eyes dark and focused, tracing every inch of your body.
He unbuckles his belt, âtake your shirt off baby, let Mr. Park see you,â and you comply. The bossy tone turns you on. Your hands pull the fabric off your body.
âMr. Park,â you breathe, pupils blown as you watch Sunghoon. You need him now, immediately. Your pussy is practically pulsating as you continue watching, waiting. But Sunghoon doesnât seem to be in a rush. He spreads his belt on the table, carefully.
You whine, âdo something already.â
He crouches next to your laying figure on the sofa, your legs dangling over the tiny thing. Caressing your neck in a dark velvety voice, almost as if heâs enjoying seeing you beg he tells you mockingly, âyouâve been whining about this all day and now you canât even wait five seconds?â
You whimper, softly blowing a raspberry as you move out of his hold. You pull the shorts down your legs, done with the waiting.
âFine, Iâll just take care of it myself,â you fuss, hand starting to slide down towards your core.
But Sunghoon swiftly grabs your wrist, tightly. His body is on you in a flash and it only excites you more. You moan when he speaks.
âKeep acting like this and you wonât be leaving this room today,â he is breathing hard, eyes softening when he sees the raw desire in yours.
You push your hips up, rubbing your pussy on him as he holds your forearms next to your shoulders, your left side pressing into the sofa cushion. His legs trap yours and youâre completely at his mercy, your strength no match compared to his.
âYouâre cute when youâre mouthy, but donât push itâ he warns, voice husky, ânow say please. Properlyâ
You almost want to cry, the ache so visceral you canât even think. His words donât even properly register before youâreâ already blabbering.
âPlease please please, Mr. Park, please,â you beg, unsuccessfully trashing underneath his iron hold.
âI promise Iâll behave, just please touch me, I wonât be impatient anymore,â you whine, tears building behind your eyes out of sheer frustration.
âThere she is. Thatâs better. My good girl knows how to behave,â he murmurs, allowing you to grind your pussy against his muscular thigh, as he caresses your face, a smirk on his face.
âTook you long enough to say it,â a dangerous lilt in his smile. He lowers down, biting in your neck in what should be pain but is instead making you mewl. Your pussy gushing at this point.
âMr. Park, Hoonie,â you breathe, âf-fuckâ you gasp, stumbling over your words as Sunghoon continues biting you, now moving onto your tits, littering small marks, âfuck me please, need you so badâ you whine, legs wrapping around his hips and pulling his lower body into you.
Heâs aching you can tell, he pulls his lips from your body with a pop, a string of saliva connecting him to you, his lips red and swollen. And suddenly youâre licking your lips, desperate for just another taste of this older man.
âYou love when I make the rules. Donât pretend you donât,â he teases, as he finally, finally pulls his cock out. He pumps it two times, licking his hand before bringing it to your face.
âSpit,â he instructs and you comply. You watch as he wraps his fingers around his long and fat cock again, droll pooling in your mouth as you watch, mesmerized.
He notices your gaze, âah, wanted to taste my sweet girl, see if you taste as good as you look, butâ he groans, lining his cockhead to your entrance, âmy little one is just too impatient,â he gruffs.
He pushes his dick into you, slowly deliberately. Torturing you once again, and youâre utterly helpless. Whining, moaning, groaning, squeezing your walls together but Sunghoon doesnât give in to your whining.
Heâs barely pushed his cock in halfway when you test his patience once again.
âHoonie just push it in already,â you whine, âneed you so bad, stop teasing.â You pout. His dick twitches and thatâs when it clicks. He likes seeing you this needy for him.
You look at him through your lashes, pushing yourself into the sofa, making yourself small under his larger frame, âfeels so good, Hoonie,â you quietly moan, âyouâre so big,â you mewl and Sunghoon finally sheaths himself fully inside of you, groaning as he does.
He stays like that for a moment, allowing both of you to adjust, his eyes are squeezed shut. Your thighs around his waist twitch, impatient once again.
You bite your lip, just watching him. You know he feels your walls pulsating, purring just for him. begging him to fucking move. You needed it fast, rough but Sunghoon was hellbent on having you slowly. Devouring you whole as you cry for him.
âNow you can wait your turn,â he breathes, almost as if he can read your thoughts. His hand wraps around your throat, his gaze dark and your walls clasp tightly around his dick. Sunghoon smirks as he draws his hips out, slowly, before pushing back into you hard.
You canât stifle the loud moan that leaves you and that only spurs Sunghoon on. He continues fucking you like this, pace incredibly slow and powerful â as if he had all the time in the world to get lost in your pussy. He watches your every breath, every move, gaze heavy â too heavy. You shut your eyes the intensity overwhelming you.
Your smaller hand cups his bigger one, still on your throat and his voice is husky when he speaks again.
âLook at me,ïżœïżœïżœ his voice like honey, the thumb on your neck drawing comforting circles as he continues fucking you, âNo hiding. I want to see exactly what Iâm doing to you.â
He tells you and when you look you can feel it. The control, the power he has over you, how he could ruin you if he decided to. And how you would probably let him.
Your mouth opens, gasping as he picks up the pace, fast and irregular and you can tell he is close.
You try to claw at his hand that was clasping around your throat. You gasp for air and Sunghoon continues watching you, groaning as his hips work an incredible pace.
His hips stutter, eyes shutting and arm leaving your throat. And you can finally breathe again. Sughoon sheaths his hips into you and he grinds them into you.
Your orgasm starts hitting you in powerful waves, when he starts humping his dick into you, barely pushing out. Your walls tightening impossibly, and Sunghoon canât do anything else but just take it. Let your pussy squeeze the orgasm out of him, as he stills and spills inside of you.
And you whine, you fucking whine, he flops onto you, carefully not to hurt you as he rides out his orgasm, softly thrusting in you.
You feel incredibly full, can tell that he came so much itâs overflowing out of you while heâs still inside. You two just breathe for a moment, catching you breaths and you swear your soul left you for a moment.
âHoonie,â you mumble, âfeel so full.â
âI know baby, I know,â he wraps his arms around you, turning you two so youâre laying down on him instead.
âHoonieâs got you,â he tells you, patting down your hair and kissing you on your forehead.
Your breath slows. His doesnât.
Youâre still curled into him, skin sticky and trembling, but thereâs a tension still-
âYou okay?â you whisper.
Sunghoon chuckles softly, low and wrecked. âYou have no idea what you just started.â
And he kisses you again. Slowly and deeply, holding you close. You moan softly as his tongue explores your mouth. Youâre squirming, needy again and you can tell Sunghoon is starting to get hard again.
"That wasnât enough," he tells you, lips not leaving yours, "youâve been driving me crazy for days. Thought one time would fix it?â
His fingers close around your thigh, hard enough to ground you, âyou have no idea how long Iâve wanted to fuck you like this,â he tells you and then heâs manhandling you, your torso rests on the backrest as you kneel on the couch. Sunghoonâs hands are on your hips, pressing your front over the backrest, your chest pressing into it. Ass up.
He has you bent over the couch and he reaches towards the table. You turn, watching as he picks off his belt and you tremble. Excited. You bit your lip to stop the smile from spreading across your face as you instinctively cross your arms behind your back.
âYouâre gonna let me have you like this pretty girl?â Sunghoon asks, almost panting as he fondles your ass.
âY-yes Hoonie,â you say, voice shaky.
He slaps you, watching in satisfaction as your pussy clenches around nothing. Then he wraps his belt around your wrist â not tight, just enough to stop you from moving. He hums once heâs satisfied.
This time when he lines his dick to your entrance he doesnât wait. He stretches your walls again and you push your face down, biting on the sofa in hope of silencing any noises from escaping you.
But Sunghoon doesnât like that, his fingers grip your hair and he gently yanks you by the hair. Your spine against his chest as he continues fucking into you hard.
âNu-uh princess,â he moans, right next to your ear and you shiver, âlet me hear you.â
Youâre choked on air, pleasure overwhelming, but still you comply, âyou make me feel so full, Hoon⊠I canât help it.â
You mewl, rutting yourself back, as Sunghoon continues with the hard and rapid pace, his hips pushing into your ass anytime he fucks into you. Head lulls back, putty in his hands you completely relax, letting him use your body to chase his own pleasure.
âTell me you feel it too. Tell me itâs not just me going insane over you,â he breathes right by your ear, hands holding you by your waist in position.
âI think about you all the time⊠even when I shouldnât,â you confess, drunk on his cock.
âNo one else gets to see you like this, youâre mine,â Sunghoon continues, his hold on you tight. Possessive.
âThen donât let anyone else touch me. Keep me,â you rasp, moaning when he brings his digits to your clit. You shake, from the pleasure and pressure as Sunghoon rubs your clit expertly, as if he had done it a thousand times before.
âDoing so well for Mr. Park,â comes his husky voice, he softly bites down on your ear, âthatâs it baby, cream my cock, make a mess little one,â he groans when he feels you clenching down on him.
Your pussy convulses, clenching around him in waves and Sunghoon stutters, pushing his dick impossibly deeper into you and you feel him twitching, filling you up for the second time.
After a moment, after you have both came down you speak, softly. âYou make me feel so safe like thisâŠâ you murmur, your voice quiet, breathy. Barely there.
Sunghoon gently undoes the belt still loosely hanging around your wrists. His fingers are slow and unhurried, tracing the curve of your hips like heâs calming you through touch alone.
âSuch a pretty girl,â he murmurs against your temple, lips brushing soft and warm. He kisses your cheek next, and you lean into it instinctively, your body boneless, spent.
You donât fight him as he lifts youâyour legs too sore, your mind fogged with the aftermath of everything. He carries you upstairs like you weigh nothing, one hand splayed over your thigh, his chest warm where your cheek rests against him.
He sets you gently on the closed lid of the toilet, crouching beside you to check the tender insides of your thighs with a light touch. His gaze flicks up to your face, searching, but youâre already watching him, lids heavy, lips parted.
âI didnât mean toâŠâ he starts to say, almost more to himself.
âI liked it,â you whisper, interrupting. Honest.
He exhales slowly, something fierce and protective shadowing his faceâbut it softens when he turns back to the tub, running the water, checking the temperature with his wrist. You watch the rise of steam, the pour of oil â something herbal and grounding.
He doesnât speak, but the care in his movements says enough. When he returns to you, he sinks to his knees. His hands are warm on your waist as he coaxes you to stand.
âYou okay?â he asks softly, eyes searching yours.
You nod, your voice caught in your throat. âMhm. Just⊠floaty.â
He touches your face. âIâve got you.â
You step into the water, and he follows behind, settling with you between his legs. The heat wraps around you both, and his arms immediately encircle you, pulling you into his chest.
He starts to wash you slowly â his hands gliding over your skin in steady, calming passes. The silence stretches between you, but itâs not heavy. Itâs safe.
âEverythingâs warm,â you whisper, eyes half-lidded. âYouâre warm.â
âSo are you,â he says, kissing your shoulder. âStill glowing, baby.â
Your lips curve into a lazy smile. You hum, nuzzling against his chest. âI donât want to think. Just stay here.â
âThen weâll stay,â he replies, wrapping you tighter in his arms. His voice dips low â protective, anchoring. âYou donât have to do anything now. Just let me take care of it.â
You nod again, your breath softening, your heartbeat slow. The water laps around you both as you sink deeper into him.
And just before your eyes fall shut, you hear him say itâquiet, more to himself than to you âso small, so mine.â
You wake up slow. Limbs heavy, thighs sore, skin warm. His hand is already curled around your hip under the blanket, thumb brushing your waist lazily, like he never stopped touching you even in his sleep.
You shift with a sleepy noise, nuzzling into his chest. He murmurs something low.
âMm. Thought youâd run away,â he says, voice thick with sleep.
âI canât feel my legs,â you softly whine, curling into him even more.
He huffs a laugh, hand tightening around your hip, âthatâs not a complaint, is it?â
You pinch his side, and he groans dramatically.
âYouâre so full of yourself.â
âOnly when Iâm right,â he laughs, âcome downstairs when youâre ready, Iâm making pancakes,â he taps you butt as he stands up, leaving you to lounge on the bed a bit longer.
You emerge from the bedroom wrapped in one of his shirtsâoversized and hanging low on your thighs. Heâs barefoot, shirtless like he does this every day. Your hair melts as you note how fluffy his black hair looked.
He glances over his shoulder. The look he gives you is unfairâequal parts pleased and hungry.
âThat mine huh?â he nods towards the shirt, amused. âDidnât even ask.â
âI think Iâve earned the right to at least one shirt last nightâ you grin.
He chuckles, plate in hand as he slides it in front of you on the counter.
âCareful. Youâre getting spoiled.â
You hop up onto the counter, tugging his shirt down on your thighs.
âI donât mind.â
He stands between your knees without needing to ask, fork in hand. He feeds you the first bite himself, watching your mouth.
âMy sweet girl.â
âYouâre feeding me like Iâm five,â you playfully complain, deflecting.
âDidnât I tell you, pretty? I plan to spoil you rotten, besidesI like seeing you soft,â Sunghoon says, his eyes sparkling and a soft grin on his lips.
Your eyes flick up to his. âWhat does that mean?â
âThat you let me take care of you,â he easily replies, tucking your hair behind your ear.
Youâre breathless as you reply, âyouâre not playing fairâŠâ
But Sunghoon just chuckles, âIâm not playing at all.â
His fingers linger a second too long, grazing your cheek before slipping down your jaw. You blink at the weight of his gaze like heâs memorizing you. His thumb taps your bottom lip once, absently.
âYou donât even know what you do to me,â he murmurs. Not teasing. Just quiet, like a truth too heavy for the air.
Your pulse kicks, and when you look away, flustered, he lets you. Doesnât push just rests his palm on your thigh, warm and grounding.
A moment passes like that. And as you reach for your juice, he tugs the hem of his shirt on you a little lower, eyes scanning your bare thighs.
âDonât go outside in this.â
âWhy? Afraid someoneâll see?â you tease.
âNo. I just donât like sharing,â he firmly replies, voice stern.
Your breath catches.
âGo finish eating. Weâve got all day.â He kisses your forehead.
The sun climbs higher. Warm light spills through the big windows, turning everything golden. You're curled up on the sofa, still wearing his shirt and nothing underneath but cotton panties, your legs stretched across the cushions.
âYou look too pretty to waste the light,â Sunghoon says from across the room, holding his camera.
You blink up at him, amused. âAre you seriously about to make this a photoshoot?â
He raises an eyebrow. âWouldnât call it that.â
You tilt your head. âThen what would you call it?â
He lifts the camera halfway, gaze steady over the top of it. âMine.â
Your throat tightens, pulse kicking up. You sit up slowly, legs tucking under you. âTell me where you want me.â
He gestures toward the floor near the window where the light cuts in strong and clean. âThere. Knees up. Just lean back on your hands.â
You settle into the pose, feeling a little silly, a little shy. But then he steps closer, lowering the camera for a moment.
âNo, not like that,â he murmurs. âChin up. Thatâs it. Now relax your mouthâyeah, like that.â
His fingers brush along your jaw to adjust the angle. Then lower, tracing a line from your throat to your collarbone.
He clicks the shutter.
You try to hide your shiver. âYouâre not even looking at the pictures.â
âIâm looking at you,â he says, voice low.
Another shutter click.
He crouches down in front of you now, so close you can feel his breath. The lens barely a foot from your face. âThis oneâs just for me,â he says. âNo one else gets to see you like this.â
Your thighs press together involuntarily.
âSunghoonâŠâ
He looks over the lens at you again, heat simmering in his gaze. âYou like this. Knowing Iâm the only one whoâll ever have this version of you.â
You swallow hard, voice quieter. âI do.â
He lowers the camera entirely now. âGood.â
You're still seated where he posed you, but your breathing has shifted â shallow, anticipatory.
Sunghoon sets the camera down on the nearby chair, but doesnât move away. His fingers skim your jaw again, softer this time, trailing along the column of your throat.
âYouâre warm,â he murmurs, almost like heâs talking to himself. âFlushed everywhere.â
You feel it too â the heat thatâs crawled up your chest, painted across your cheeks.
âStop looking at me like that,â you whisper, trying to sound annoyed. It comes out breathless.
âCanât,â he says simply. âYou let me have this. You donât get to complain now.â
Your stomach tightens at the word have.
He brushes your hair back over your shoulder, exposing your collarbone, your bare leg tucked under you. His eyes never stray far from your face â as if every shift of your expression matters.
âWhy are you looking at me like Iâm going to vanish?â you murmur.
His jaw ticks. âBecause you might.â
You blink, thrown by the admission.
He cups your face with both hands now, firm but gentle, thumbs stroking your cheeks. âDo you even understand what youâre doing to me?â His voice is velvet-wrapped steel. âYou let me take care of you. Let me see you like this. I donât just want you anymore, sweetheart. I need you.â
Your lips part but you donât know what to say. The gravity in his voice, in his touchâit hits you low, deep. And the wildest part?
You love it.
âYou shouldnât say things like that,â you murmur, but lean into his hands anyway.
âWhy not?â he asks, brushing his nose along yours. âYou want gentle? I can be gentle. You want rough, you just have to say the word. But donât ask me to be casual.â
He shifts to sit behind you, legs bracketing your body as he draws you against his chest, palms slowly smoothing over your bare thighs.
âIâm not sharing,â he says quietly against your ear. âNot your body. Not your time. Not your smile.â
You tilt your head back against him, eyes fluttering closed.
âYouâre getting worse,â you whisper, teasing, but thereâs no real fight in it.
âI know,â he says, dragging his mouth along your shoulder. âAnd you love it.â
And you do.
God, you do.
You feel him smile against your skin â slow and smug â before he lifts the camera again, his fingers adjusting the lens like itâs second nature.
âLetâs try something,â he murmurs, tone deceptively casual. âLean forward for me a little. Just rest on your hands.â
You obey, your palms flattening on the hardwood floor in front of you, back arching slightly. He hums in approval behind you, one large hand gliding up your spine to encourage the motion further.
âGood girl. Nowâeyes here.â
You glance over your shoulder, and the click of the shutter follows instantly.
âPerfect,â he praises, the warmth in his voice making your stomach flutter. âYou donât even know what youâre doing to me like this.â
âYouâre the one making me do it,â you mumble, flushed.
âCorrection,â he says, lowering the camera slightly. âIâm just helping you play.â
You canât help the laugh that slips out â breathless, soft. âPlay, huh?â
He shifts behind you, one hand pressing lightly to the small of your back. âMm. Sit up again. Just like before. Keep your knees bent, feet tucked close.â
You adjust, trying not to overthink it â but then his hands slide along your inner thighs to reposition them just slightly wider. Your breath catches.
âYeah, like that,â he says lowly. âThatâs the shot.â
You swallow, your skin prickling with awareness as you feel how close he is, how warm his breath is at your neck again.
âSmile for me,â he murmurs, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face.
You try â you really do â but it comes out more like a shy smirk.
Click.
He lowers the camera, lips ghosting near your ear. âNow lose the shirt.â
Your head turns sharply, eyes wide.
His voice is gentle, coaxing. âJust turn your back to me. Let me see your skin. Nothing I havenât already memorized.â
The way he says it makes your breath hitch.
âYou donât have to,â he adds, though his fingers are already curling at the hem of the shirt.
You pause for a second, then slowly unbutton it, letting it fall down your shoulders, your back remaining to him as he asked.
He draws in a slow, audible breath. âYouâre so good like this,â he says. âSoft. Obedient. Trusting.â
Your whole body hums.
He sets the camera down now, forgotten. His hands trail up your sides, slow and reverent. You lean back into him without thinking, and he wraps his arms around your middle, drawing you flush against his chest again.
âYou really like taking pictures of me,â you whisper, dazed.
âNo,â he says into your hair. âI like proof that youâre mine.â
You bite your lip, a warm ache blooming in your chest at the quiet, possessive honesty in his tone.
âNow,â he murmurs, lips brushing the edge of your jaw, âletâs play a little more.â
Then his phone buzzes. Sunghoon frowns as he checks the screen âitâs Jihoon.â
You freeze. Sunghoon answers. His tone shifts, cool and calm. You hear Jihoonâs muffled apologies to his dad through the phone, âI shouldn't have blown up like that⊠I can pick her up Sunday, give you both some space.â
You watch Sunghoon, waiting for the guilt to hit you. It never does. You watch the serious look on Sunghoonâs face, the way his jaw clenches. You bring a hand between your thighs, shifting your weight on it for just a second. Just to relieve a bit pressure.
Then you drop on all fours, waiting for him to look at you. When he does you crawl to him, sitting yourself in his lap. Sunghoon wraps an arm around you, thinking you want to cuddle because you feel bad.
But instead you pull his shirt up, hands exploring the strong and toned frame. You shift closer, crotch directly on his half hard dick.
Sunghoon shoots you a look. A warning.
But you continue, pressing your lips on his jaw. Sunghoon hisses when your finger traces his nipple, the hold around you tightens. And you can tell he is getting hard. And mad.
 âYou said we had all day,â you seductively whisper in his free ear.
He clears his throat. Tries to keep talking to Jihoon, but his voice shakes slightly. You donât listen to their conversation until your name is mentioned again.
âAnyway. Youâll bring her back, right?â you hear Jihoon ask Sunghoon. You tentatively roll your hips, pressing your pussy on him.
Sunghoon is deadly calm, as he speaks in a strained voice, his hand griping the phone, knuckles white.
âYeah. Iâll handle her, I mean Iâll see she comes to the city safely.â
Then he hangs up mid-sentence, tosses the phone onto the sofa, as he grabs your jaw, clearly mad.
âYou really donât care about playing nice, do you?â he scolds, pushing you back and forth on his lap, fully hard now.
âYou started it,â you whisper, shameless as you moan. âPlease Hoonie, I want more,â you beg, fisting his shirt.
âYeah? You like it when Mr. Park lets you play?â he asks, voice deep. He lets you hump yourself against him just watching you, gaze serious, brows furrowed slightly. But you donât notice. Â
âMhm,â you say blissfully. Hugging him to you, your tits press against his chest and he twitches.
Sunghoon sneaks his hands between the two of you, pulling his cock out.
âBut you havenât been playing nice, dollâ he tells you and lands a smack against your ass.
You cling to him, position yourself so your clothed pussy is touching his dick. Mewls turn into whimpers as pushes you off of him.
âCome here,â he tells you, seating himself on the sofa, legs spread. His hand is on his dick, lids heavy as he watches you.
âNo, not like thatâ he scolds, âcrawl like you did before.â
You clench around nothing as you go on all fours, padding towards him. Eyes on his dick, when he sees your gaze he teases you. Gripping his cock, lip caught between his teeth as he strokes himself.
You stop at his feet and Sunghoon pulls you up by your upper arms, bending you over his lap. He roughly pulls your panties off and you clench when the cold air hits your wet pussy.
âYou think itâs funny? Grinding on me while Iâm talking to him?â Sunghoon asks, voice low as he rubs your exposed ass, touch deceptively soft.
He spanks you again, a sharp clap of sound that makes you whimper.
âDo you know what you sounded like? Panting into my neck while Iâm trying to keep my voice steady?â he continues, fondling your ass as he speaks before he lands another spank on your pink ass. This one harder, the sting makes you hiss upon impact.
âPrincess. That wasnât cute. That was reckless,â he scolds you, hand resting on your lower back.
You wriggle, needy for his touch and he lets out a laughs. He grabs your hips, stilling you.
âDonât squirm like that unless you want more,â he says, breathing hard. And you feel his dick poking you, can feel the precum leaking onto you where his dick presses into your plush skin.
He runs his hand over the curve of your ass in a brief caress, before another sharp slap lands.
âMaking me hard while Iâm talking to your boyfriend. Is that what you wanted?â he asks, breathless. Then in three quick succession slap, slap, slap.
But you liked being punished, so you test his patience, teasing âyou were already hard before I moved.â
âAnd now look what youâve earned. Mr. Park canât even take one call without his little one acting up,â he growls, spanking you once again and your ass is starting to hurt. But you invite the pain, lean into the sting as your thighs rub together.
He leans close to you, lips brushing your ear, âyou think I wonât punish you just because youâre cute? Think again, baby,â he slowly speaks, possessively.
He pulls you up and you cringe, your ass sensitive from the spanking. It hurts to sit down on him and you lift on your feet hovering over him in a crouching position.
Sunghoon just watches you amused, but then. He rubs his dick against your pussy. You sigh, looking down and watch as he wedges it between your lips.
âSuch a pretty thing, just for me, for your Hoonie,â he breathes in a daze.
You nod, clenching down around nothing as you watch Sunghoon rub his dick on your pussy, spreading your wetness all over himself.
You softly moan when he pushes past your tight entrance, âwant more,â you grind. Pushing down you sit yourself on him and Sunghoon brings you close to him by your hips.
His lips find yours in a surprisingly soft kiss, as you start to grind. Pushing up and down, slowly in an uneven rhythm.
Youâre already a whining mess, your eyes shut as you let Sunghoon kiss you. He slips his tongue in your mouth and youâre like putty in his hands.
He plays with you, hands over your boobs, pinching and scratching lightly. Youâre numb with pleasure, cock drunk as your Hoonie starts thrusting upwards.
You come undone at the same time, orgasm crashing into you in strong waves. Sunghoon watches you, and you donât notice when he reaches for his phone, snapping another photo of you looking so small and so sexy on him as you come undone.
You collapse against his chest, body boneless, breath hitching as the aftershocks ripple through you. Heâs still buried deep, arms wrapped tight around your waist like heâs anchoring you to earth.
Youâre only just coming back to yourself when you hear the shutter click.
Your head jerks up, eyes wide. âDid you justâ?â
He smirks, absolutely unapologetic as he shows you the photo: you, flushed and undone, mouth parted, nails dug into his forearm. âCouldnât help myself. Look at you,â he murmurs. âYou donât even know how good you look when you fall apart.â
You swat weakly at his shoulder, more flustered than angry. âYouâre insane.â
âMm,â he hums, kissing your temple. âover you.â
He pulls out slowly, groaning at the mess youâve both made, and then scoops you up like itâs nothing. You squeak in protest.
âPut me down!â
âNo,â he says simply. âYou can barely stand. That was the point.â
You hide your face in his neck, skin still burning. He takes you upstairs.
Once inside the bedroom, he lays you gently on your stomach, palms trailing down the backs of your thighs before he pulls away. The bed shifts with his weight, and then you hear him rummaging softly through a drawer.
âDonât move, sweetheart,â he murmurs. âJust stay right there.â
You glance over your shoulder, lids heavy, and catch the glint of a container in his hand. Vaseline.
Your stomach flips.
You flinch slightly as the cold ointment hits your skin. âAhââ âI know,â he says softly, stroking it in with care. âShh, Iâve got you.â
His fingers massage it in slowly, deliberately. Tender, as though undoing the sting of every sharp smack from earlier. âYouâre red,â he mutters under his breath, thumb brushing a particularly sore patch. âShouldâve gone easier.â
âNo,â you mumble. âYou were perfect.â
A beat. His hand pauses.
âYou always say the filthiest things, and then turn around and say shit like that.â He leans in, pressing a long kiss to the base of your spine. âGonna ruin me.â
You hum in response, half asleep already.
đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đđ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đđ đ
A Bit Later⊠You wake to the soft crinkle of blankets on the living room floor.
Sunghoonâs back from the kitchen, a tray in hand â cut fruit, chocolate, a bottle of wine, and a heating pad that he doesnât say anything about, just plugs in and tucks gently under your thighs when you sit down with a tiny wince.
Youâre wrapped in one of his hoodies now. No underwear. He let you keep it.
The music playing is soft and dreamy. Something instrumental. The air smells like strawberries and lavender soap.
Sunghoon sits beside you, legs spread lazily, shirt halfway buttoned and sleeves rolled to the elbow. His eyes are heavy-lidded, but sharp â always watching.
You curl up beside him again. He opens his arm and pulls you in without asking.
âYou good, baby?â he asks, brushing a knuckle under your jaw. âMhm,â you whisper, nuzzling into his chest. âWarm.â
He presses a kiss to your hairline. âYou did so well today. My good girl.â
Your fingers twist in the fabric of his shirt. The compliment sinks deep â deeper than it should.
âI like it when you take care of me,â you murmur.
He exhales through his nose, tipping his head back. âYeah. I know you do.â
A few moments pass in comfortable silence.
âYou donât think itâs too much?â you ask, quieter. âMe being like this?â
Sunghoon shifts to cup your jaw, tilting your face toward his. His expression is unreadable at first â then softens.
âNo,â he says. âI think itâs perfect.â
You hold his gaze for a beat too long.
Then you speak, even softer.
âYouâll spoil me.â
He smirks faintly. âThatâs the plan.â
And spoil you, he does.
You spend the day camped out on the living room floor, a makeshift indoor picnic laid over the throw blankets and couch cushions Sunghoon pulled down with quiet intention. Thereâs a soft jazz record playing in the background and between bites of fruit and chocolate, he feeds you with his fingers, eyes never straying far from your mouth.
At some point you curl up in his lap with a glass of wine, and he reads to you from whatever book you pulled off his shelf, voice smooth and low in your ear. The sunlight drifts lazily across the floorboards. You donât notice how much time passes â just that it feels suspended. Like nothing outside this cabin exists.
Heâs good at that â creating small, perfect worlds for you to collapse into.
Sunghoonâs fingers stroke idle lines across your lower back. You feel him breathe. Slow. Anchored.
Neither of you says much. Thereâs no need.
Eventually, he murmurs, âLetâs go to bed, sweetheart.â
You nod against his neck, already half-asleep, letting him guide you. You donât even remember falling asleep.
You wake in his bed again, the morning sunlight streaming in.
Sunghoonâs already dressed, sitting behind you with his legs spread, guiding a comb gently through your hair. Youâre settled between his thighs, back to his chest, eyes still heavy with sleep.
âYou always wake up first,â you mumble.
âI like watching you sleep,â he says, not missing a beat.
The comb glides through another section. âItâs calming,â he adds. âYou look like you trust me.â
âI do.â
He pauses at that â just a beat â then keeps combing, slower now.
For a moment, thereâs nothing but the hush of the room, the smell of his cologne clinging to the shirt you still havenât given back, the lazy warmth of early sun.
Then he speaks again, voice low beside your ear. âFinish waking up, sweetheart. Weâve got a place to be.â
You shift slightly, eyes cracking open. âWhere are you taking me?â
âThe lake.â He presses a kiss to the side of your head. âWeâre leaving in an hour. I packed wine. Fruit. Towels. Blanket.â
You turn in his lap to face him, grinning now, suddenly wide awake. âYou planned a date?â
His smile matches yours. âYou deserve one. A real one. No interruptions. No guilt. Just you and me.â
You stretch your arms up, still nestled between his thighs. âGuess I better get ready, Mr. Park.â
âIâll meet you downstairs in twenty,â he says, but doesnât let go just yet â he pulls you in for a slow, warm kiss first.
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Sunlight sparkles off the water. A breeze rolls across the dock. Everything is golden and quiet and slow.
Youâre both barefoot on the wooden planks, dripping after a swim, wrapped in towels and each other. Sunghoon hands you a slice of peach. You feed him the next one.
For a while, you just lie there on the blanket, the world held at bay.
Then you speak. âItâs weird to think this ends tomorrow.â
Sunghoonâs quiet for a second, âit doesnât have to.â
You blink over at him.
âWe go back,â he says. âBut that doesnât mean we go back to how things were. I donât want to.â
You trace a finger over his forearm. âMe either.â
He watches you. âThis wasnât a fling for me. You know that, right?â
âI know.â You sit up, eyes on the water now. âIt wasnât for me either. And... I want more.â
Thereâs a stretch of silence that isnât uncomfortable â just real.
Then Sunghoon speaks, voice gentle but unwavering. âJihoon didnât just leave you here. He left you alone for a long time before that.â
You inhale through your nose. It hurts â but itâs true.
âHe didnât protect you. He didnât see you,â Sunghoon adds. âBut I do.â
You turn to him. âAnd I see you, too. I donât want to sneak around or feel guilty. I want to be with you.â
His hand slides around your thigh. âThen be with me.â
You nod. âOkay.â
Itâs said so simply. Like it was always going to happen this way.
The air is warm, the late morning sun painting everything golden. Youâre both still sticky with fruit juice and the tipsiness of wine-soft smiles when Sunghoon eyes you sideways.
âYouâve got that look,â you say warily.
âWhat look?â
âThe one that says youâre about to do something stupid.â
He grins. âIâm hurt. This is going to be very dignified.â
âYouâre literally crouching like a cartoon villain.â
âPrincess, Iâm just trying to bring balance to the universe.â
âWhat does that even meanâSunghoonâ!â
But heâs already lunging.
You shriek and take off across the dock, laughing so hard your legs barely move straight. Heâs right behind you, water splashing around your ankles as you try to dodge.
âYouâre gonna pay for this!â
âFor what?! Being charming?!â
âFor splattering me with peach juice!â
He grabs you around the waist, and the two of you topple into the lake in a messy, dramatic splash. The water is cold but refreshing, and when you surface, hair plastered to your face, youâre both wheezing with laughter.
âYou look like a drowned kitten,â he says, absolutely delighted.
âRude. And you look like you just lost a shampoo commercial.â
You splash him in the face before he can respond.
âOh, itâs on now.â
You flail as he comes after you, hands trying to grab your ankles underwater. Thereâs shrieking. More splashing. You push his head under once â a bold move â and he resurfaces with water dripping down his lashes, mock-offended.
âYouâre lucky I like you.â
âYou love me,â you say smugly, swimming just out of reach.
He lunges. âNot if you keep talking like thatâ!â
Eventually you give in, breathless, letting him pull you close in the center of the lake. His arms wind around your waist, and you float there together, the water gently rocking your bodies.
Your laughter fades into warm quiet, cheek resting against his damp shoulder.
âI havenât laughed like that in forever,â you murmur.
Sunghoon presses a kiss to your hair. âSame.â
Later, you walk back to the cabin hand in hand, skin sun-warmed and soft from the lake. He carries the towels; you carry the last of the fruit. Everything about it feels easy. Shared.
The next morning, the day of going back home, you pull your suitcase out from under the bed, still in one of his shirts.
Sunghoonâs already halfway through folding your clothes for you, methodical and quiet, each movement precise. You watch him for a momentâbrows furrowed, fingers smoothing fabricâand grin sleepily.
âYou always like playing house this much?â
He looks up. âWhat?â
âYou fold clothes like a husband,â you tease, nudging his foot with yours.
He chuckles but doesnât stop. âAnd you wear my shirts like my wife.â
You hum, walking over and leaning your head on his shoulder. His hand reaches for your waist, grounding. A soft forehead kiss follows, like itâs instinct now.
As you zip your duffel shut, you notice something nestled inside: his hoodie, a polaroid, and a paperback novel youâd been eyeing on the cabin shelf.
You blink. âYou packed these?â
Sunghoon shrugs, brushing your arm as he walks by. âNow you have to come back.â
You look up at him. âDonât worry,â you say, voice light but sure. âIâm not going anywhere.â
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In the car, the playlist is a mix of both your tastes. Itâs playing low as the trees blur past outside. Youâre curled in the passenger seat, feet on the dash, humming to the music. You catch him looking at you at a red light, when youâve reached the civilization again.
âWhat?â you ask.
âJust wondering if youâre gonna pretend youâre too cool to be seen with me after I drop you off.â
You scoff. âWe literally live twenty minutes apart.â
He smirks. âFifteen if I drive like a crazy person, which I am for you,â he says, hand resting on your thigh as he pulls into the parking lot of your apartment building, turning the ignition off.
You share a deep kiss, your hands cupping his jaw, his on the back of your neck. He pulls away first, flushed cheeks and breathing heavy.
He taps your thigh gently. âCome on, let me carry your suitcase up.â
You roll your eyes but smile, as he unlocks the car door. âYou just want an excuse to come upstairs.â
âMaybe I just want to make sure you get inside safe,â he says, grabbing the handle of your suitcase with one hand and slinging your tote bag over his shoulder with the other. âCanât help it. Iâm responsible.â
You snort. âHusband behavior.â
Sunghoon smirks. âYouâre not the first person to say that.â
âYou better not be serious,â you deadpan, nudging him with your shoulder as you both head inside.
Once inside your apartment, you toe off your shoes and flick on the lights while Sunghoon sets your suitcase neatly by the couch. Everything looks a little dustier than you remembered. Like your old life is already softening around the edges.
âWanna eat something before you go?â you ask as you scroll for the takeout app.
âI already ordered,â he says, smug, showing you his phone. âItâs on the way.â
You blink. âYou ordered for both of us?â
He shrugs, casually leaning against your counter. âFigured youâd be too tired to cook after all the swimming... and making out.â
âWow.â You press a hand to your chest, feigning shock. âRomantic and cocky.â
He winks.
The food arrives, and the two of you eat cross-legged on the floor, a movie playing low in the background. Itâs peaceful. Cozy. But thereâs something pressing in the air, unspoken but understood. When the containers are empty and the credits start to roll, Sunghoon doesnât make a move to linger.
He leans in to kiss your cheek, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. âCall me after.â
You nod, eyes soft.
âI mean it,â he says, gaze holding yours. âEven if itâs late.â
You stand at the door, still barefoot, as he walks out. You watch until the elevator closes.
The apartment feels quieter now. Still carrying the scent of him.
You donât hesitate as you find his contact in your phone and press call.
The knock at your door comes later than expected. You open it to find Jihoon standing there, hands shoved deep in his pockets, hood pulled up despite the heat. His eyes flick over your bodyâstill wearing one of Sunghoonâs shirtsâand narrow.
âNice shirt,â he mutters, already walking past you into the apartment without being invited. âYou two playing house now, or what?â
You donât react. âThereâs a box with your stuff in the hall closet.â
That stops him mid-step.
âWhat?â
You donât flinch. âTake it. Weâre done.â
He laughs. Sharp, disbelieving. âYouâre breaking up with me now? After going off-grid for nearly a week? With my dad?â
âJihoon.â
âNo, seriously,â he says, throwing his arms out. âYou disappear, donât answer your phone, and when I do call, youâre suddenly all buddy-buddy with him? You think Iâm an idiot?â
âIâm not doing this with you,â you say, voice still calm but harder now. âYou made your choices when you left me there without a second thought. And now Iâm making mine.â
âOh, come on,â he scoffs. âYouâre seriously choosing him? You couldnât keep it in your pants for five days?â
âI think we both know you stopped loving me long before I ever looked twice at him.â
That hits. His jaw tightens.
âI waited,â you say quietly. âI tried. But you kept treating me like an inconvenience. Like I was always too much or not enough, depending on your mood.â
He doesnât answer. Just stands there, breathing uneven.
You point toward the closet. âYour stuffâs in there. Take it and go.â
âYouâre not even gonna pretend to be sorry about any of this?â
You shake your head. âNo. Iâm not.â
Jihoon exhales hard, scoffing again, then yanks open the closet door. Grabs the box. He pauses at the threshold, glaring at you like itâll change something.
âYouâll regret this,â he mutters. âWhen he gets bored of you.â
You meet his eyes, steady. âI wonât.â
And thenâfinallyâhe leaves.
The door closes with a quiet finality.
This time, it stays closed. You go into your bedroom and sit on the edge of your bed, phone in hand, heart still beating steady and slow â not from nerves, but from clarity.
Itâs done.
The apartment is quiet now. His box is gone. The doorâs locked. Youâre still wearing Sunghoonâs shirt.
You thumb open your messages first, but after a momentâs hesitation, you press call instead. He picks up before the first full ring.
âHey,â Sunghoon says, voice low and warm.
You let out a soft breath. âItâs done.â
A pause. Then, âYou okay?â
You nod, even though he canât see. âYeah. I think Iâve been okay for a while, actually.â
Another beat of quiet, and then you hear his exhale â relieved, grounding.
âI wanted to do it face-to-face,â you add. ââŠdidnât go too well, I might have been too honest.â
âYou didnât owe him anything past your truth,â Sunghoon murmurs. âIâm proud of you.â
Your lips curve into a smile. âYou always say the right thing.â
âI try,â he teases gently.
Thereâs a beat. You hear movement on his end. Maybe heâs in bed. Maybe pacing.
âI can come over,â he offers. âIf you want.â
âI do,â you say, no hesitation. âBut⊠no rush. Just knowing youâre there is enough.â
He hums, and you can almost feel his smile through the line.
âYou were never too much, you know,â he says. âYouâre just the right amount for me.â
That gets you. You blink hard. âSunghoonâŠâ
âHmm?â
âDonât get cocky just because youâre my boyfriend now.â
He chuckles. âNot cocky. Just⊠grateful.â
You both fall quiet again, but itâs the good kind. The safe kind.
âCall me if you need anything,â he says.
âI might just fall asleep on the phone with you.â
âI wouldnât be opposed, sweetheart.â
You breathe in slow, gaze drifting to the camera polaroid he left in your bag â the one of you in his shirt, bare-legged, smiling like you already knew this was how it would end.
Or maybe, how it would begin.
âGoodnight, Mr. Park.â
You hear his smile in the dark.
âGoodnight, babygirl.â
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đŠàœČàŸA/N: thank you for reading !!! I struggled so much with the first scene because itâs literally the two things I hate most: fighting and describing interior lmaoo but once I was past that it was super fun, hope everyone enjoyed reading (à·Ëá”Ëà·)âĄ
#kpop smut#enhypen smut#sunghoon smut#sunghoon scenario#sunghoon image#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon scenarios#enha smut#enha x reader#enhypen x reader#enha imagines#enhypen images#park sunghoon
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Roughly 10 More Cool Historical Queer Figures More People Should Know About
Part 2 - Modern Era
Part 1
Last year I made a post of roughly 10 (emphasis on roughly) earlier historical queer figures, and promised a list of another (roughly) 10 figures. So again in spirit of pride month, I'm delivering you roughly 10 (technically there's 12 or more however you want to count them) more cool historical queer figures.
In the first list I had fucked up the splitting of my list and there were only 8 figures. I had somehow misplaced the first entry here on this list even though time-period-wise it should have been on the first one, but alas it will go here.
The same disclaimers apply here too. This list is centered around western history (but not exclusively) because that's the history I'm most familiar with, though it's definitely not all white, since western history is not all white. I will be avoiding using modern labels, since they are rarely exactly applicable to history, rather I will present whatever we know about these figures' gender, sexuality and relationships. If there's information about what language they used about themselves, I will use that. Often we don't know their own thoughts, so I will need to do some educated guess work, but I will lean towards ambiguity whenever evidence is particularly unclear. If you are the type of person who gets angry with the mere suggestion there's a possibility that a historical gnc person might not have been cis, I encourage you to read my answers to related asks (here and here) first before sending me another identical ask. Try to at least bring some new arguments if you decide to waste my time with your trans erasure.
9. Romaine-la-Prophétesse (c. 1750 - at least 1792)
Romaine-la-Prophétesse, or Romaine the Prophetess, was a Haitian revolutionary and religious leader. It's unclear what pronounce they would have used for themself, so I'll refer to them as they/them. They were assigned male at birth and were born around 1750 in the Spanish controlled Hispaniola as Romaine RiviÚre to free black parents, possibly of Kongolese origin. By 1772 they had migrated to the French part of the island and become a small coffee plantation owner. By that point they had also met Marie Roze Adam a mulatto woman, who was enslaved in another plantation, where they were likely an employer. Between 1772 and 1777 she gave birth to their three children, who were born into slavery. After meeting their future wife, Romaine spent 12 years working to free her and their children from slavery. They purchased Marie Roze and their children and immediately married her, exploiting a law, according to which marrying her master freed her and any of her children owned by the same master. Romaine became very respected in the area's free black community and they and their wife became godparents to multiple children. Still even after freeing their wife and children from bondage they did own at least two slaves, as did many wealthy free black and mulatto people.
After the French Revolution many of the free black Haitians were radicalized. The French revolutionaries had promised freedom and equality, but while all whites, even the poor ones, gained citizenship, the citizen status of free people of colour was tenuous and black slaves remained slaves. This led to a lot of tensions and fighting, which in 1791 erupted into several uprisings, the uprising of the free people of colour against their discrimination and the slave rebellion. Romaine joined the slave rebellion after a powerful white plantation owner near their plantation gathered troops threatening them and their community. They called upon free black and poor white people in their community outnumbering the white troops, attacked the plantation, burned it down and freed it's slaves. It's a little unclear when exactly, but at least by the revolution, Romaine started to be known as Romaine the Prophetess. They dressed in women's clothing and spoke about being possessed by a female spirit. They became known as both a healer and a prophet. With a saber in hand they preached that God was black - their religious practice and revolutionary politics were very intertwined. Vodou was not yet a formalized belief system, but this was the time when it was taking form as Catholic and Indigenous African and Caribbean beliefs mingled together among Caribbean people of colour. Romaine's religious beliefs seem to also be a mix of Kongolese Catholicism (Catholicism has been a major religion in Kongo since early 16th century) and indigenous West-African religions. This was quite common among Haitian revolutionaries, but there was still a lot of variety.
After capturing and burning the first plantation, Romaine and their growing army of freed slaves, burned multiple other plantations in the area of Southern Hispaniola and freed thousands of slaves. There were excesses of violence as an inevitable consequence of the extreme brutality the slaves had been subjected to (how the Caribbean slaves and Maroons were treated by the Europeans is one of the most nauseating things I have ever read and after that it's impossible for me to condemn anything they did afterward to their oppressors). Eventually most of the wealthy free black people turned against Romaine and the slave revolt and pressured them to go into peace treaty with the French. By that point they had enough of the upper hand that they managed to keep control over large parts of the province. However, the peace would not last and eventually Romaine and their troops were defeated by the French in 1792. Romaine's family was capture, but they apparently managed to escape and was said to have continued preaching, however there's no other record of them after that. Haitian Revolution was eventually after a decade successful and made Haiti the first state to entirely abolish slavery.
10. We'Wha (1849â1896)

We'Wha was a Zuni, Indigenous American Pueblo people from Zuni River Valley, a potter, a weaver and a cultural ambassador. They were a lhamana, a third gender category in Zuni culture. The lhamana are usually amab people, who take both masculine and feminine characteristics and perform both feminine and masculine roles in the community. It's unclear what pronouns We'Wha would have used in the English language, so I will use they/them. At the time of We'Wha's birth the Zuni had managed to stay away from colonizers and continued their traditional livelihoods and religious practices. But the Zunis had their first interactions with the colonizers, who brought smallpox, which killed many of the villagers, including We'Wha's parents, after which they and their brother were adopted by an aunt. US tried to gain control of New Mexico - in 1877 they established Zuni Reservation and begun a policy to assimilate Indigenous People to the industrial American society by converting them to Christianity. Which is why in 1878 missionaries arrive to We'Wha's village. They became the missionaries' domestic servant and learned English. The missionaries left from the village in 1881, without managing to force their culture and morals on the villagers.
During the missionaries' stay at the village, We'Wha befriended Matilda Coxe Stevenson, an ethnologist, who recorded a lot of Zuni culture with the help of We'Wha. Matilda and her husband invited them to visit Washington D.C. with them. We'Wha used the opportunity to meet with president and form good relationship with the US government in order to protect the independence of their tribe. 6 years after their visit to Washington D.C., they were arrested. US soldiers had tried to interfere with the internal community trial of the Zuni and arrest their elders. We'Wha had resisted the soldiers and ended up in jail for a month.
Today Zuni people are surviving centuries of genocide as well as one can. Halona Idiwanâa, or Pueblo of Zuni, the Zuni reservation and homeland, has a sizable Zuni population. There's 9 500 speakers of Zuni language, most of who live in Halona Idiwanâa. The traditional religion is also still practiced by the Zuni. In early 2000s Zuni people successfully opposed a coal mine, which was planned near Zuni Salt Lake, a sacred site in Zuni lands. To this day they are still opposing colonial intervention.
11. Edward Carpenter (1844-1929)

Edward Carpenter was from a wealthy English family. He was a writer, poet, philosopher, socialist, early gay rights activist, prison reformist and animal rights activist. He wrote much about Uranians, term for queer men, which he used as a term for all queer people. He argued for non-medicalized view of queerness, and didn't just argue that it should be tolerated, but that it was a natural human trait beneficial to humanity. He had multiple relationships with men thorough his life, and had a particular preference for gruff working class men. As a 58 years old he met 36 year old George Merrill, a working class man, and the two fell in love. George moved in with Edward and they lived together for almost 40 years, until George died suddenly. Edward was devastated and shortly after suffered a stroke and died as well.
12. May Morris (1862-1938)


May Morris was English Arts and Crafts artist, designer artisan and socialist. Her father was William Morris himself, the father of the Arts and Crafts movement, and her mother was Jane Morris, muse and model of Pre-Raphaelite art. May was a very influential embroiderer. She was active in the movement and founded Women's Guild of Art when Art Workers' Guild did not admit women. She was married to a man, the secretary of the Socialist League, for 8 year, despite her mother's disapproval of him, but eventually divorced him. In 1917 her life long relationship with Mary Lobb begun. Mary cross-dressed but used feminine terms. She loved dogs. She moved into May's countryside Arts and Crafts cottage with the guise of being May's gardener, but eventually they were openly a couple. They traveled together for hiking trips, for example to Iceland many times.
13. Renée Vivien (1877-1909)

Renée Vivien was a mentally ill lesbian poet, Sappho enjoyer (a woman of culture) and a cat lover. She had a profound homoromantic childhood friendship, mommy issues and was melodramatic about women. She would have done numbers on Tumblr dot com. She was English, but lived most of her life in France with the money she inherited from her rich father at a young age. All her relationships were quite dramatic. She left the homoromantic friendship with Violet Shillito for a hot American actress Natalie Barney, after which the friend died of typhoid fever and Renée separated with Natalie because she was sure she had killed Violet with a broken heart. Next year in 1902 she started an affair with a married Jewish Baroness Héléne von Zuylen. They had to keep their relationship discreet because of Héléne's position, but it continued for years and Renée considered them to be married. Still when she got a letter from a secret admirer, wife of a Turkish diplomat, French-educated Muslim woman, Kérimé Turkhan Pasha, she started a secret affair with her too. They had only brief encounters, but exchanged a lot of passionate correspondence. Renée was not willing to leave Héléne, but eventually in 1907 Héléne left her for another woman. Next year Kérimé ended their relationship, as she relocated to St. Petersburg with her husband. Renée took all that as well as the average poet. She abused alcohol and drugs more than she had before and attempted suicide in a way I can only describe as on brand. She overdosed on opium, stretched on her divan and placed a bouquet of violets over her heart. Her commitment to the symbolism was real. In all seriousness she was not well. Her substance abuse and disordered eating had deteriorated her health and tragically complications of her mental illnesses would claim her life only a year later.
14. Lucy Hicks Anderson (1886â1954)

Lucy was Black American born in Kentucky to a working class family and assigned male at birth. From a young age she insisted that she was a girl and wanted to wear dresses. Her mother took her to a physician, who suggested that she should allow Lucy to present as a girl and raise her as such, which she did. Lucy left school at age 15 to support herself by working as a domestic servant. As an adult she would move around and work in the service sector and as a chefs, get married and move to Oxnard, California. After divorcing her husband in 1929 she bought a boarding house with her savings, and used is as a front to operate a brothel and illegal liquor business during the prohibition. She became a local socialite and hostess with a lot of influence in the high society. She was on that grindset. Her influential connections got her out of jail, when her brothel was exposed. After that she married a her second husband in New York in 1944, Reuben Anderson, a soldier. They returned to Oxnard, where she resumed her brothel operation. In 1946 a sailor claimed to have caught a venereal disease from her brothel, so even she was forced to undergo a medical examination, during which her masculine sex characteristics were discovered and she was accused of fraud for "lying" about her sex in her marriage license. In the court she said:
"I defy any doctor in the world to prove that I am not a woman. [...] I have lived, dressed, acted just what I am, a woman."
She and her husband were convicted and both put in men's prison. To add to the cruelty, she was forbidden to wear women's clothing. She survived the ordeal and was freed in 1950, after which she moved with her husband to Los Angeles and they lived quietly together until her death.
15. Amelio Robles Ăvila (1889-1984)

Amelio Robles Ăvila was a Mexican revolutionary colonel and decorated war hero. He was born to a middle class farmer, who owned 42 hectares of land, and afab in Xochipala, Guerrero. He was sent to girl's Catholic school, but showed interest in masculine pursuits from an early age, becoming very proficient in running of a ranch. Even before adopting a male presentation or becoming a soldier, he was known as an excellent marksman and rider. He joined the revolutionary Zapatista army between 1911 and 1912, still presenting as a woman. The Zapatistas were formed as a response to the military dictatorship under general Porfirio DĂaz, who ruled from late 19th to early 20th century. Prior to the Porfiriato there was still significant Indigineus Nahua population in Central Mexico, where people lived largely in Nahua villages and worked communally owned land. During the dictatorship though communal landownership was undermined and land was centralized to haciendas, which were a type of grand estate used broadly in Latin America as brutal colonial enterprises. This sparked a revolution, led by the Zapatistas, who sought land reform and fought the military dictatorship with guerilla warfare.
Two years after joining the Zapatistas, Amelio started to present as a man and demanded to be respected as such. And mostly he was, by his family as well. He was accomplished in the army and eventually gained his own command of over 300 men. He fought till the end of revolutionary period in 1920, and returned to put down a counter-revolutionary rebellion in 1923. After his army career he settled down, and in 1930s he married Ăngela Torres, with whom he adopted a daughter, Regula Robles Torres. He was a widely known to be trans and so when his birth certificate was falsified so he could legally adopt his daughter, it was probably a favour from the government. At some point after the revolution, a group of men tried to do a hate crime on him and "expose" his anatomy, but he killed two of them in self-defense, as he should. In 1948 he received a medical certificate, where it was confirmed he had 6 (six) bullet wounds, to officially enter the Confederation of Veterans of the Revolution. And finally in 1970 he was officially recognized by the state as a male veteran (veterano) of the Revolution and received several awards for his distinguished military service. He died as a 95-year-old revolutionary hero and certified chad. There is a story that in his deathbed he asked to be dressed in women's clothing when he was buried to face God's judgement, but this is likely a baseless rumor, since he also apparently asked in the same breath honours for his military service (which he had already received) and according to his death certificate he had lost the ability to speak before his death.
16. Alan L. Hart (1890-1962)

Alan L. Hart was an American physician, radiologist and novelist, who made significant advancements to tuberculosis treatment and was the first transman to medically transition in US. He was afab and was born in 1890, but very early on expressed a strong desire to be a boy, which was largely accepted by her parents and grandparents, who let him present as a boy and referred to him in masculine ways. However, when he attended school he was required to dress as a girl, though outside it he continued to presenting as a boy. In medical collage he was still forced to present as a woman. He was very unhappy that his female name was used in his medical degree when he graduated, since it meant he had to continued presenting as a woman for jobs or be outed as a "sexual invert". Right after his graduation though in 1917 (when he was still presenting on his first job as a woman, but outside it as a man) he sought medical transition. His doctor agreed that "from a sociological and psychological standpoint he is a man" and his surgery was completed during the next year after which he legally changed his name and married his first wife Inez Stark. Later, when hormone theraphy became available, he started using testosterone as well. Unfortunately in the same year he was outed by a former classmate and was forced to move with his wife to remote Montana, which was very traumatic for him. Financial troubles and secrecy caused by this outing and relocation put a strain on his marriage and they separated in 1923. Two years later he married his second wife, Edna Ruddick, which would last till his death.
During the same year Alan moved to work in Trudeau School of Tuberculosis in New York to do his postgraduate work, then worked for two years in a sanatorium in Illinois and finally in 1928 received his master's degree in radiology from the University of Pennsylvania. After that he did his career working with and researching tuberculosis, which was the most common cause of death in America still at the time. He developed an x-ray screening method for spotting tuberculosis early on and preventing it from spreading. Using his screening method he led a mass campaign to screen for tuberculosis in Connecticut for 16 years, and similar screening campaigns were then used all over US and the world. This was crucial in ending the tuberculosis epidemics, which had been going on for decades across the world. His method is still the standard used today. During his career he also wrote medical drama fiction and published four novels.
In his will he had directed for his personal photographs and letters to be destroyed, which was his last act of controlling the narrative of his own life, which had been briefly stolen from him, when he had been outed. This was carried out, but even then, a decade after his death, he was reclaimed by anti-trans lesbian groups as a historical lesbian figure. During 1980s and 1990s though trans people and some lesbians, like the Lesbian Avengers, valiantly defended his legacy, protested these lesbian groups and eventually forced them to back down.
17. Willem Arondeus (1894-1943)

Willem Arondeus was a Dutch artist, writer and poet and an openly gay man. Quickly after Neatherlands was occupied by Nazi Germany in 1940, he joined the Dutch resistance. He used his skills as an artist to become a very successful forger. He forged documents for Dutch Jews so they could avoid Nazi detection and escape the occupation with a lesbian resistant Frieda Belingfante. Their efforts were hindered by Population Registration, where the Nazis could verify the documents to be false. So in 1943 they attacked the record archives and managed to blow up the building and destroy 15% of the identity cards. Later though someone betrayed them and Willem was caught by the Nazis. He refused to identify his companions, but the Nazis found his notebook and were able to catch everyone except Frieda. Willem took all the blame for the attack, which is possibly why two of his comrades were given clemency, but the rest 13 and him were sentenced to death. Before his execution he made sure it was known he and two others in the group were gay and said either to a friend or a lawyer:
"Tell people that homosexuals are not cowards."
18. Sister Rosetta Tharpe (1915-1973)

Rosetta Tharpe was born in Cotton Plantation, Arkansas, USA, to black cotton pickers, who were also gospel musicians. She was a young prodigy and started touring as a gospel singer and player at a young age. She is often called the Godmother of Rock 'n' Roll, because of her immense influence to the genre. She was a pioneer of electric guitar technique that would have a massive influence to the development of electric blues and the sound of rock 'n' roll. Her act was provocative, as she combined spiritual gospel lyrics with embrace of sexuality and appearances in nightclubs. She had relationships with men and women and was married several times. One of her more famous sapphic relationships was with another black artist, Marie Knight. Their relationship lasted for five years during which they made music and performed together. They remained friends for the rest of Rosetta's life, and years after her death at age 82 Marie recorded a tribute album for Rosetta.
19 & 20. Tove Jansson (1914-2001) and Tuulikki PietilÀ (1917-2009)

Tove Jansson was the creator of Moomins, an artist and a writer. She was born in Helsinki, Finland, to an upper class Swedish-Finnish artist family. She had relationships with both men and women. Her early serious relationship was with Atos Wirtanen, a socialist politician, who inspired Snufkin's character. Her first relationship with a woman was with a married theater director, Vivica Bandler. Tutsik and Lipsik were based on herself and Vivica. In 1956 she started relationship with her life partner, Tuulikki PietilÀ, which lasted till the end of her life. Tuulikki was an influential Finnish graphic artist and sister to Reima PietilÀ (one half of PietilÀ architect pair, my favorite Finnish architects). Tuutikki was based on her. They traveled all over the world and spend their summers on a small rocky island in Pellinki. In 1992 they attended together the presidential independence day party (a big event every year in Finland) as probably the first sapphic couple.
#i got a bit carried away with some sections but there was just too much things to say#history#queer history#historical queer figures#pride month#queer#lgbtq history#queer tag#gay history#trans history#sapphic history#lesbian history#long post
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its wild to see the rebid defence of IP from the tabletop space, like sorry to use your ask box as a bit of a rant but if I said this in view of the friends in question theyd flip.
A group of them are cheering on disney fighting the ai guys or whatever when yesterday they were printing a whole bunch of warhammer proxies and its like guys do these people not realise theyre cheering on for corps like gw to kneecap everyone whos every sold a space marines shoulder on cults? For wotc to send their boys the pinkertons on anyone making githyanki minis or spicy fanart of laezel?
Examples chosen deliberately and all because gw are notorious for taking a grab bag of other series to build their IP, and githyanki were a creation of Some Guy who won a magazine competition but its not like IP laws will ever protect Some Guy over the corpos with money to burn
Yeah wasn't there literally a case of GW trying to argue that sales of third party miniatures were somehow like. Infringing on their profits? Which I think got thrown out of court thankfully but like we don't need to encourage companies to be any more shitty with intellectual property laws. Like heck, wasn't it only like two years ago when WotC tried to effectively take back the OGL?
Anyway I'm not sure if I have a wider point to this response but anyway these big companies are also kind of incentivized to act like this under things as they stand but like we don't need to encourage them
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stan's having a bad day. fem!reader knows what will definitely lift his mood (she will show him her boobs) :Ń
iâm so glad weâre talking about this because i swear showing Stan ur boobs to cheer him up is necessary. this is so canon to me like you donât understand đ
i would do this to him every day, even when hes in a great mood
nsfw
imagine heâs stomping around the shack muttering to himself âthese dang tourists, no one buys nothinâ, everythingâs overpriced blah blah and sweet moses !! Mabel left glitter in my laundry againâ and you just kinda waltz over, smile and say âbaby, wanna see somethinâ thatâll make you forget every single one of your problems?â and before he can even answer, bam. BOOBS. the eighth wonder of the world!!! agree agree tho
Stan STOPS. not a single brain cell left standing, only eyebrows scrunching up. and then he just mutters a hoarse âoh. yeah. okay. dayâs already lookinâ up.â
he is so easy to please WTF. you could throw off his whole afternoon with just tiddies
and the funniest part is you know it works. like this isnât the first time. this is the tried and true method. you see him clenching his jaw, muttering about tourists or smth or tourists asking stupid questions and youâre like. okay. time to bring out the heavy artillery
and sometimes you donât even have to say anything ?? you just go up behind him while heâs reading bills and gently lean against him so that he can feel your breasts. and Stanley just sits there stunned for a second before going âyouâre such a menace, princess. come sit on my lap.â please PLEASE Stan fuck PLEASEE
or or or heâs grumbling while eating a sandwich in the kitchen, elbows on the counter, and you just come in, lift your shirt with both hands and go âyou wanna touch somethinâ better than salami?â AND HEâS ALREADY DROPPING THAT SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR. UGH heâs cupping them like itâs the first time all over again, calloused thick fingers always so fucking gentle towards his girl, thumbs brushing over your nipples. âsweet moses, âs like gettinâ hit by lightning every damn time, baby, huhâ and then uhhh... then he kisses one <3
sometimes he acts all dramatic about it too like âdonât tempt me, sweetheart, iâve had a long dayâ but then heâs already got your tits in his hands, he's stupid !!
and if you lean into him and let them brush against his cheek while giggling, âyou feel better now, baby?â heâll let out low grunt saying yeah. yeah, actually. i fuckinâ do
also bonus points if youâre in a public setting. like you're at the shack after-hours, still a few stragglers hanging around and Stanâs leaning against the counter looking worn the hell out. you catch his eye, give him this knowing little smirk and just discreetly pull down your shirt collar real quick so he gets a peek. and the man literally perks up !! :) shoulders back, eyes gleaming, suddenly ready to go out and scam a bus full of tourists because you believed in him and showed him your tits. motivational speaker who?? we only know breast encouragement
+ Stan loves laying his head on your tits. both mullet Stan and older Stan
when itâs mullet Stan, he acts all cocky, though he's so fucking tired, teasing âyou got the best pillows in the state, sweetheart.â but then his eyes flutter shut two minutes later and heâs snoring against your cleavage with his mouth open and drooling a little !! and you canât even be mad cuz itâs cute
âunghhh i fuckinâ needed this. lemme just die here okay? this is heaven. leave me. bury me in hereâ and he stays there. and PLEASE PLEASE stroke his hair while heâs there PLEASE. heâll murmur some nonsense like âyouâre an angel. donât deserve you. softest place on earth right here.â đđ
older Stan tries to be casual about it, but heâs secretly just as attached to the routine. if you tease him like, âyou want my chest again?â heâll grumble, âwell i sure as hell donât wanna rest my face on a pillow full of feathers when i got a better one right here.â
sometimes heâll even do this thing where he nuzzles into one side and gropes the other cuz he's possessive. he also has huge hands and he has nowhere to put them except on your boobs. and yeah, old habits die hard, so please stroke his hair while heâs there âthatâs it, darlinâ. ooohhh fuck. gonna fall asleep right here. donât even wake me if the shack catches fire.â
i just think he deserves it :( every time. he deserves warmth and softness and little kisses between your breasts while he murmurs how much he fucking needed this today. heâll bury his face in âem like âjust gimme five minutes. then iâll take out the trash. promise.â
he will always say thank you, too. every time. âthanks, babe. you're better than any therapy.â
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FIRST SOLDIER EPISODE 2 CHAPTER 4
Biiiig drama happening tonight, guys. And it's recap time, courtesy of yours truly. Let's do it!
When we last left the gang, Angeal had caught on to the fact that the dreams were an idealistic distraction, Bachman got assimilated into the island's influence, Alissa was sus (again), and Miniroth was on his way to acquiring the Masamune. But before he can take the sword for himself, Miniroth needs to pass one big trial to prove himself worthy to the "spirits". Which seems to come in the form of Glenn's voice calling out to him! What's going on here???
We open on a recap of what "Glenn's" voice via Bachman's narration. After the group takes a breather, they head to find the voice. "Glenn" himself meets them, complete with a black robed hoodie. He says that ROSEN went deeper into the cave. WTF....but Rosen is dead! And Matt and Lucia are supposedly looking for him??? They have to catch up.
Miniroth tells the group that Rosen is a friend of Glenn's. And that he, Sephiroth, killed him. So we're already going there lol.
Sephiroth says that he had a hard time understanding Rosen...he viewed him as a threat. Flashback of Miniroth with Team Glenn. Team Glenn is watching Rosen's chimney in the far distance. Miniroth tells them not to get too involved with the enemy--it's dangerous. But the group expresses kinship with Rosen, which makes Miniroth anxious.
Another flashback WITHIN the flashback. This time in HOJO'S LAB! Miniroth is fighting a monster while Hojo goads him. Flash back to the scene with Glenn--Miniroth was thinking about his time with Hojo while Team Glenn was fighting a monster in the background. After killing the monster together, Glenn praises Sephiroth and we get more flashes of Miniroth being observed by scientists in the lab. He was showered with praise, but no one ever got close to him...or saw who he really was. All they saw was the illusion of a hero. Good to see lots of old fan lore finally confirmed onscreen. He really was a lab rat.
Anyway, Glenn tells Miniroth that he and Rosen should be buddies since they're similar. They're both so isolated and lonely. Miniroth still doesn't get it yet...after all, his experiences are pretty horrific. He's anxious just talking about Rosen, powerless.
BACK IN THE PRESENT FINALLY, Miniroth tells the group that he killed Rosen and Glenn saw it happen. Angeal approaches him and tells him that something doesn't feel right about all this. Why are they chasing after a ghost? Alissa just tells Angeal to shut up and roll with it. Because of course lol Sephiroth just wants the sword.
Following "Glenn's" trail, Angeal stops them to speak his mind. He mentions the spirits and how they supposedly told Masamune to make the sword. And now those very spirits are guiding Sephiroth...MANIPULATING him. He said that Sephiroth clearly cared about Team Glenn and that it brings Sephiroth a lot of anguish that he clearly hasn't processed yet. He tells Sephiroth TO HIS FACE that the spirits are using this to fuck with him. Miniroth says that Angeal is right but it's more because he's deflated and upset than him actually listening. He tells Angeal that this is HIS fight...just stay out of his way.
Down the stairs. Alissa asks Sephiroth if he cared about Team Glenn. Sephiroth says yes, he did. They treated him like a "normal kid".
Another Team Glenn flashback on Rhadore. Glenn wonders why Seph won't admit that he and Rosen are similar. They're both just kids who put their lives on the line for work. Sephiroth says that he and Rosen were nothing alike! He didn't CHOOSE his path. Sephiroth asks Glenn if Glenn just pities him. Glenn says that Sephiroth is on his way to becoming a REAL hero. He encourages Sephiroth and flusters the hell out of him. Sephiroth privately admits that it made him...happy. AWWWWW. He genuinely viewed them as friends, per his own admission.
Back to the present again. Sephiroth blames himself for "throwing it all away" in killing Rosen.
They keep walking. Angeal asks more about Rosen. ANOTHER FLASHBACK GEEZ GAME. Anyway, Glenn explains that Seph and Rosen are the same age despite being enemies. Sephiroth doubts they'd get along. Glenn keeps pointing out their similarities until Sephiroth gets anxious and runs away. Standing alone, Sephiroth grapples with his emotions, very clearly agitated at the constant comparisons, fighting a monster solo to blow off some steam. Afterwards, Team Glenn joins up again. Sephiroth apologizes for being emotional. Sephiroth calms enough to admit that he would like to meet Rosen. He admits that he has no idea what he would say...he's never talked to someone his own age before. Glenn tells him to take Rosen to the Honey Bee Inn LMAO GLENN NO. Sephiroth doesn't even know what that is. STOP CORRUPTING THE BABY.
PRESENT TIME AGAIN. Sephiroth remarks that Team Glenn was so protective of Rosen. He admits that he believed that attachment would kill them someday, something that scared him. So really, he viewed Rosen as a threat the lives of his friends, people he grew close with who he didn't want to lose.
Angeal said that Seph killed Rosen to protect Glenn and the others, but now he has regrets. Sephiroth insists that Rosen was the enemy and that he regrets NOTHING (liar). Angeal doesn't believe him. Seph gets pissed and basically tells Angeal to fuck off. But Angeal can see this is really messing with Seph's head.
A bunch of PURPLE SUS SPIRITS show up conveniently just as Angeal slowly walks towards Seph. More monster fights. Sephiroth tells Angeal to stay out of his way (again). This is mostly a slowburn means of Angeal slowly nudging closer and closer to Seph until he finally reaches him.
Anyway, the group reaches an outside temple, more spirits buzzing around all over the place. Alissa says that there are more illusions afoot. What the group sees might not be real. Including the land itself.
Angeal can tell that Sephiroth looks scared. Sephiroth pretends to be tough about it. We wander through the ruins for a bit across a bunch of broken bridges.
We catch up to "Glenn" at that bridge we saw in the teaser. Angeal says that they all clearly just seeing illusions and that they need to doubt everything they see and hear. Sephiroth tells Angeal to SHUT THE FUCK UP, lashing out. Angeal refuses. He tells that if Sephiroth wants the sword so bad, take it. Angeal won't stop him. But he's concerned for Sephiroth and how caught up he is with the past. He wants to pull Sephiroth OUT of that mire and HOLY SHIT SEPHGEAL FEELS ARE REAL.
Sephiroth keeps getting angrier and angrier at this emotional intimacy. Angeal tells him to open his heart so they can work together. Angeal says that his mother taught him to be true to himself. And says that his father taught him about DREAMS AND HONOR. And to not be trapped by the past. That's how Angeal was raised. I'm paraphrasing a lot of it but the dialogue is actually REALLY GOOD here? ANGEAL IS MVP.
Obviously....Sephiroth has no references for parents. He tells Angeal that they were raised in different worlds. They'll never see eye to eye. He sadly walks ahead. Angeal refuses to be pushed away and keeps chasing him.
They make it to that big temple thing, also in the teaser. It's a dead end?? But Sephiroth senses something is here. Up ahead, there's a big cave/portal thingy. Purple. The images of Matt and Lucia (also in hoods) show up. But they're constricted by some sort of tentacle monster and OH NO IT'S HOJOOOOOO. A twisted vision of Hojo holding both of Sephiroth's friends hostage! And Sephiroth can only save one! He needs to choose! Miniroth has to remind himself that Matt and Lucia aren't really there...these are just illusions. But he can't bring himself to choose. "Hojo" tells him to prove himself worthy of the blade.
"WHO WILL YOU SAVE?" Callback to Rosen obviously.
You can choose either one. Whoever gets rejected, they say some heartbreaking shit before "dying". Whoever is SAVED turns into a "blighted spirit" monster, which looks A LOT like Jenova. Sorta.
Anyway, Angeal encourages Sephiroth to fight the illusion. After fighting the monster, the illusion tells Sephiroth that uncertainty is a sign of WEAKNESS. Sephiroth can't shake the feeling, even if they're just illusions.
"Glenn" calls to Sephiroth again. Angeal tells Sephiroth that no matter who it is, no matter what they say or do, he has to block it out and push through to the end. Clinging to the past will only get in the way of the mission. Sephiroth gets defensive. Angeal challenges Sephiroth to prove he doesn't care by cutting "Glenn" loose completely. Don't show any weakness or it will consume him! That's what the spirits want!
Sephiroth loses his temper and slashes at Angeal. He doesn't hit him of course. He can't get Angeal to shut up.
The group takes a break to end the chapter. Like before, there's extras at the end. More dreams, probably...
Bachman's entry: Sephiroth is getting more physically exhausted and stressed out. It's pushing him to the edge and the trials are weakening him significantly. Everyone else is still walking around while Sephiroth curls up, clearly not doing too well.
SEPHIROTH'S DREAM: Miniroth is in the void, surrounded by Matt, Glenn, Lucia, and Refu. Glenn asks Sephiroth why he killed Rosen, Lucia and Matt calling him a murderer. Sephiroth is close to having a breakdown. Team Glenn demands that Sephiroth give them back Rosen. Miniroth says that he had no choice! He falls to his knees while they call him a MONSTER. ROSEN appears! But "Jenova" charges in to protect Sephiroth and says that Sephiroth did the right thing! She covers up all his guilt and says that he can do no wrong! She'll protect him, even if the world stands against him. Goaded by this, Sephiroth FUCKING TURNS ON THE IMAGES OF ROSEN AND TEAM GLENN IN HER DEFENSE WAESFGHFD THIS IS GETTING SO FUCKED UP SARDFGHFD HE CUTS THEM ALL DOWN! And Jenova hugs him and praises him and tells him he can "sleep forever" if he wishes. Jesus fucking christ. This is getting bad...
ANGEAL'S DREAM: Angeal is in the void too like Sephiroth, experiencing visions of his father ALSO calling him a murderer. It's Angeal's fault he's dead! Also lore dump?? Angeal's adoptive father married Gillian for money. He keeps berating Angeal until Angeal also collapses to his knees. Angeal still has a lot of guilt. Angeal's father tries to cut him down with the Buster Sword but ANGEAL BEING THE ABSOLUTE KING HE IS can't be penetrated. He STILL won't lose hope. Absolute legend. Hell yeah. He knows his parents loved him. His sword is proof of that. He wakes the group and gets them going again.
Loved this chapter. Very heavy on character development. Angeal and Sephiroth's bond is extremely compelling. LOTS to talk about for later!!!!
#sephiroth#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#sephcanons#crisis core#final fantasy vii#angeal hewley#First soldier#ever crisis#ff7ec#ffvii ever crisis#miniroth#young sephiroth#Ffvii first soldier#ffvii crisis core#Ffvii ever crisis#ever crisis spoilers#ff7 ever crisis#Jenova#Hojo#professor hojo#Recaps#glenn lodbrok#matt winsord#Lucia lin#Alissa goldie#lucrecia crescent
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"Okay," Will said as he let out a deep sigh, his shoulders visibly relaxing, "Let's talk. This is not going to work if we are at each other's throats, Hannibal."
Hannibal didn't move but curiously waited for Will's next action.
"Drop the knife."
"After you," Hannibal challenged him dryly.
Will's knife hit the floor with a loud metallic thud, shortly followed by Hannibal's.
"What now?" Hannibal asked, not sure what to do about his still existing anger. Letting go of the knife had felt counterintuitive, unnatural, uncomfortable.
"This is the part where we communicate. The alternative is that we kill each other. And then there's the other alternative, which in my opinion is worse. We go separate ways and the FBI finds us."
The anger in Hannibal's chest was suddenly replaced by dread. The thought of losing Will again was something that often troubled his nights.
"Talk, then."
"Have you ever considered that there should be a part in my becoming that is not reserved for violence?"
"I thought three dull years of marriage would make you long for some violence."
"Is that what you thought?" Will asked, "I haven't left my life behind only because I was tired of hiding from myself. I left it to be with you. Violence is not the only thing that I am craving."
"What else are you craving, Will?" Hannibal asked as he walked towards him. Will didn't take any step back although the voices in his head were encouraging him to do so.
Will couldn't voice the answer and instead followed Hannibal with his gaze.
"I am sorry about your nose," Hannibal said as he wiped away the blood that was slowly travelling towards Will's upper lip.
"I don't care about that," Will said, not even flinching at the touch, "I almost strangled you in your sleep. I don't know how else you could have responded to that."
"I feel like that is a good place to start," Hannibal replied softly, turning Will's face on both sides to check if he had damaged more his already bruised face. "I don't believe you wanted to kill me."
"No but then things escalated. And I really wanted to yell at you about how I feel about everything," Will admitted, "Christ, I haven't seen you in three years, I have no idea where to even start."
"I fathom you believe I have the answers to that myself. I don't."
Hannibal paused.
"Will, we have time. We do have all the time in the world. Sometimes I wish I could tell you how much I resented you while sometimes I want to tell you that I kept drawing your face every day so I wouldn't forget it."
Will arched an eyebrow to that.
"If you think that's bad then you should know that I once had to literally cuff myself to the bed and throw the keys to the other side of the room in order to stop myself from paying you a visit."
"That's embarrassing indeed."
"Shut up, no wonder Alana confiscated your drawings, she was probably sick of seeing my face."
"Then tell me did the wife think of you cuffing yourself to the bed?"
"I need to be drunk to talk about that."
"Wine usually solves that issue," Hannibal said, "And, Will, I do agree there is enough room for something else other than violence."
#hannibal#hannigram#blue writes#hannibal lecter#will graham#hannibal nbc#hannibal series#hannibal fanfiction
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ăGravitational pullă
ââ± Pairing: Caleb x Reader (afab)
ââ± Summary: Midnight during Caleb's birthday, aka your first time together.
ââ± Tags: Smut, Porn with feelings, Fingering, Unprotected sex, Use of pet names (Princess), Cursing.
[NSFW Under the cut minors do not interact please]
âË ïž”âżïž”âżïž”âżàšà§ · · ⥠· · àšà§âżïž”âżïž”âżïž” Ëâ
Caleb kissed you hungrily, his hand held tightly against yours as he used his other hand to gently hold your chin, seeking to deepen the kiss he runs his tongue on your lower lip, and you happily oblige, letting your tongue meet his, still tasting the sourness of the candy you had fed him moments ago.
He lays on top of you between your legs and you can already feel his growing erection through his clothes as he slightly rocks himself above you allowing you to feel his hardening cock. You wrap your arms around Caleb's neck as you continue to kiss him passionately while his hands roam your body softly, as if he were afraid you'd disappear or push him away at any wrong turn.
Breathless, Caleb breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against yours. "Tell me... If it's too much" Caleb rests his hand on your knee, slightly pushing your legs open before he slowly moves it up your leg "We can stop if you... Don't want this" his hand reaches the edge of your underwear and he traces it with the tip of his fingers following the fabric from your hip to your core.
"Please say it, I need to hear you say it" Caleb purple eyes search yours for an answer as his hands still "Caleb I... Want this, I want you" his lips find yours as soon as your words reach him, his fingers finally moving your underwear to the side to touch your cunt, your wetness eliciting a groan deep in Caleb's chest.
"Shit I... Want you too" Caleb nearly whispers to you, his lips leaving yours as he kisses everywhere, your cheeks, jawline and neck as his fingers rub your cunt experimentally, finding out which spots make you gasp and moan, only separating himself momentarily from you to get rid of his jacket and vest before bringing his middle and ring finger into his mouth moaning at your taste in them.
"Mmmm... I knew you'd taste so good" you blush deeply at Caleb's words but any reply you had for him dies on your throat as Caleb brings his now wet fingers between your legs and slowly pushes them inside you. The stretch of his two fingers feels nothing how your own feel, especially with the way he reaches deeper inside you and how he uses his thumb to rub your clit each time he pumps his fingers into you.
Your hands quickly move to remove his tie before working on the buttons of his shirt as he fingers you, pleasure building up on your core threatening to snap at any moment, the soft sighs and whimpers that leave your lips are all the encouragement he needs to keep going, curling his fingers inside you searching for that spot that will be your undoing.
Caleb keeps his eyes on your face, amazed at how you look now, he knows you like the back of his hand, and yet, the expressions and noises you're making right then are all new to him, and he can't help to become addicted to this side of you. He needs to hear every cute sound you can make, he needs to see every expression your face can twist in pleasure, all because of him.
Caleb adds another finger to your cunt and uses his free hand to completely lift the skirt of your dress to see how his fingers move in and out of you "Fuck, Princess. Look at you takin' my fingers so well" your core throbs at the pet name, his fingers finally hitting that sweet spot inside you and you screw your eyes shut as you feel closer to your climax.
"You like that? Is this pretty pussy gonna cum on my fingers?" you quickly nod at him, unable to trust your words right now "Look at me, Princess. I want you to look at me when I make you cum" you don't last long after opening your eyes for him, your orgasm hits you hard and you could swear you see stars at the edge of your vision from the intensity of it. Caleb helps you ride out your climax until your moans die down, giving you a moment to catch your breath. He removes his slick-covered fingers from you to unbuckle his pants and quickly get rid of them, leaving him with only his boxers, shirt, and necklace on.
Caleb offers his hand to you, which you take with a soft smile as he helps you sit up on the floor. Caleb kisses you softly then, his hands now reaching out to unzip your dress, you only break the kiss to lift the fabric off you, as you throw the garment on the couch Caleb removes his shirt and places it on the floor behind you as a makeshift blanket before gently pushing you back down, his big frame covering yours.
He takes a moment to admire the way you look with your cheeks flushed and your hair framing your face, half-naked before him. He seems lost in thought and so you take the opportunity to pull him down on you by the necklace you gifted him so long ago into a searing kiss. You wrap your legs around him to keep him closer to you, feeling his painfully hard erection barely contained by his boxers.
Caleb rubs his length against your soaked core, his hands palm your still clothed chest "Caleb... Please" you moan out and Caleb freezes above you "Shit, you can't... say it like that, I won't be able to hold back" he replies breathlessly, his dilated pupils looking directly into yours.
"But I don't want you to hold back anymore..." you move your hand to your back to unclasp your bra before discarding it to the side letting your tits spill out, Caleb lets a small gasp escape at the sight of your uncovered breasts, a deep blush spreading on his face and neck "...Because I am done holding back".
His mouth dives into your neck hungrily, leaving wet kisses on your neck and collarbones as Caleb moves lower and lower on you finally latching his mouth to one of your nipples, sucking and licking your peak as his shaky hands busy themselves removing your soaked underwear. He moves to your other nipple, giving it the same treatment as his hands move through your now naked body.
Caleb breaks away from you, his eyes taking in every curve and every centimeter of exposed skin before him, as he finally pulls down his boxers. You knew he'd be big; the bulge on his pants was hard not to notice sometimes, but you weren't prepared for it to be so thick, too.
He gives himself a few pumps before aligning himself with your entrance as he slowly buries himself into you, the stretch of his girth is pleasurably painful as you take him. "Shh, it's ok... Relax, Princess. You're doing so well." Caleb soothes you, gently using his thumb to catch the tears you didn't notice running down your face.
You do as he says and focus on relaxing around him. He gently rocks into you, each time pushing more of him inside you until you are finally able to take his full length. "Ah... You feel so good, shit" Caleb halts his movements, his cock fully buried deep inside your pussy making you feel incredibly full. "Caleb... Start moving, I can take it." Caleb leans down closer to you, still unmoving, he leans his forehead against yours. "I know, just... give me a second or I'll embarrass myself".
You chuckle softly at his reply as you wrap your arms around him. After a few steadying breaths, Caleb pulls nearly all the way out before slowly pushing back in. He sets up a slow pace, moaning every time his tip kisses your cervix. Caleb holds himself on his elbows on each side of you and buries his face in the crook of your neck as his pace speeds up.
"Fuuck, you feel amazing", Caleb mumbles against your skin, barely able to contain the whimpers that escape his lips as he thrusts his hips faster and faster, his thick cock reaching impossibly deep inside you, pulling a myriad of soft moans and sighs from you.
Caleb lifts himself up, holding his weight with his palms to look at you. His eyes travel from your blushing face to take in the way your tits bounce every time he bottoms out and over your soft belly, lastly looking down on where you two are connected and he's instantly obsessed with the way your poor cunt stretches to take him fully. "Perfect... fuck, you're perfect" he whispers just loud enough for you to catch his words.
His hand reaches between your legs to flick your swollen clit with his fingers, earning a moan from you in response as his pace stutters, the sounds of skin slapping skin and your combined moans filling the dim room as you feel the tension in your belly build while your climax approaches.
"Please cum, Princess. I need to hear you cum like this... Please, please..." Caleb's thrusts become relentless, hitting in all the right places at once and pushing you over the edge. Your orgasm hits you like a cool wave of pleasure spreading all over your body from your core as his hips snap against yours time and time again while you moan his name, your nails unconsciously leaving angry red marks on his back.
Caleb follows you soon after, he crashes his lips to yours, his pace erratic as he chases his climax, and when he finally reaches his orgasm, he quickly pulls out from you pumping his cock with his hand and spilling his heavy load on your belly as he moans and whimpers into your mouth.
He continues to kiss you passionately, basking in the feeling of you as he comes down from his high. You barely have time to catch your breath when his hands move to your tits and Caleb softly rubs circles with his thumbs on your nipples, his still hard cock rubbing against your pussy, his length rubbing your overstimulated clit.
"Caleb... Wha-" your words are cut off by a moan as he fully enters you again. "Shit... One more, Princess", he slowly starts rocking into your cunt again "Let me make you feel good again". You had a feeling it wouldn't be just one more, and yet, you didn't really care because he was finally yours, just as you were his.
âË ïž”âżïž”âżïž”âżàšà§ · · ⥠· · àšà§âżïž”âżïž”âżïž” Ëâ
°Ë⎠ăMasterlistă â âč
#love and deepspace#lads smut#lads x reader#lads caleb#caleb#caleb x mc#caleb x you#caleb smut#caleb x reader#lnds caleb#love and deepspace caleb#caleb lads#caleb xia#caleb love and deepspace
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Van, bloodied and dazed with a single-track mind to protect the pilot slurring out encouragement. Marya adjusting the rearview mirror so that it quite literally only frames Van. Her saying "It's good to be back" when she sees Van in action. "I'm never worried when you're around."
bruh. BRUH BRUHBRUH!!
me when the adrenaline starts pumping through my veins but the adrenaline is an old comrade. and she numbs all the pain that comes with the job and she makes me want to follow her to danger just to taste her once more like this is soooo serious we need to have a meeting about this
#and what if i said this is so janai and amaya dragon prince coded#what would you say then#van chapman#marya junkovĂĄ#cloudward ho#cloudward ho!#dimension 20
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Why Isamu Being Queer Could've Benefitted His Arc Of Courage: A Semi-Coherent Ramble (and Criticism)
Disclaimer: I have zero intent to attack any member of the development team, my criticisms are untargeted and will remain unnamed. I encourage discussion about this topic. I (OBVIOUSLY) do not want disagreement in the form of homophobia. Yes I'm queer my URL is literally lesbianisamu what did you think I was? Not a lesbian? I'll start writing now.
The Mimic has a fairly substantial and fairly egregious history with misrepresenting mental health issues. This is relevant. While TMO (The Mimic Origins) is no longer canon (thank god), its influences still remain. While it is no longer explicitly canon that Futaba, or Futao, has bipolar disorder/bpd (unclear), the stereotypes, mishandling and frankly ridiculous storytelling are still present in The Witch Trials. This point has been done to death, but I will reiterate anyway.
Making a character with a severe mental illness an evil, abusive, disgusting individual is not GOOD(edit) representation, believe it or not. At first it seems that Futaba is aware of her struggles and how it affects her daughter, though I still don't like this. By the end, she completely contradicts herself by doing a 180 and claiming that she is not at fault for any of her actions and instead blaming the demon inside of her. Woah. Sure. Also the split-into-two representations of being manic and depressive with the depressive constantly humming a melancholy tune and crying, while the manic, or the demon (Mote) is constantly cackling with inhuman laughter. It's odd. Left a terrible taste in my mouth.
Yasu is a character who is objectively non-abusive. Pretty non-problematic too. I don't have much to say on the character himself as I've never fixated enough to do a full analysis (sorry to my Yasoomfs), but I can say that his resulting mental health was also handled poorly. So thoroughly traumatised by the events of Control that he apparently? Has PTSD? DO NOT QUOTE ME ON THIS. Either way, I'm going to disregard that, I just had to bring up the hearsay. Regardless of whether he did end up with a trauma based mental health disorder or not, the way he was treated and left after Control by the writing is nothing short of bleak. All of his friends being turned into butterfly spirits and then him being forced to sacrifice them simply to move onto a new room of horror? His parents being caught with his mother hanging in front of him, only to find out when he saves them that they don't remember a thing? Being hunted down by nightmarish mutants that are his long-dead family members, forced to save them all and carry the burden of the curse on largely unsuspecting shoulders? You might think he was put in therapy, or had counselling, or maybe sought out other people who had gone through similar experiences so he could start to heal.
We don't know anything after the knowledge that his parents are amnesiacs about the event. Like I'm not kidding, zilch. Second edition of a character with obviously poor mental health being mistreated by the direction the writing either took or didn't take.
Senzai. Jesus fucking Christ. The next edition we have of mental health representation is a guy who canonically is a terrorist, murderer and conspirator who flattened, and aided to flatten the densest city in terms of population on Earth. I don't think I need to say much more on this topic. If I do, I'll get angry. I hate Senzai and I wish he was written about ten million times better than he is.
In the case of both Senzai and Futaba, they are victims of abuse/generational trauma, which led to or exacerbated their previously present mental health issues. Both wind up as. I don't want to be yelled at again for my wording. Abysmal people. That's 3/3 so far on mental health, all awful, all harmful, and all bleak which is not really the tone mental health representation should speak with.
I promise you it was relevant to the title. Now that we know The Mimic has an, at best, shaky representation with mental health issues and illnesses, we could probably hope that their queer representation would be bett-
They decanonised Enzukai being genderqueer (fluid? or agender? not certain) when JC4 came out. They did this, I think, in an effort to lift the possible implications of a genderqueer character being. Evil demon creature. I get it, like I do. There's also literally everything else. Like Senzai being implied to be queer.
A character who is queer being a bad person is not inherently a poor writing choice. Just because someone is queer, they are not exempt from being awful, they are not exempt from consequence, and they most certainly are not exempt from being criticised for their actions in media, or in real life. However. Senzai is a genocidal terrorist who, I'm not kidding, killed upwards of NINE MILLION PEOPLE. Yes while under the cults influence, and Yes gave himself up to the authorities after (another can of worms) but holy shit. nine fucking million. It's not the best message to give off and I hope I don't have to explain why. Edit: I should have stated that this is heavily implied rather than explicitly canon, but my main point still stands.
Yes, fucked up evil queer characters are sometimes fun, but its less fun when so far (and continuing) its the only gimmick that the queer characters get. Then it's weird.
My biggest gripe is honestly with the Nagemi character in Halloween Trials. OOOO god. It's agender. Win for agender's right? WRONG. WE LOSE. AGAIN. It is, if you haven't actually seen the character, half a body. It is a decaying freakish torso that crawls behind you and kills you like all other mimic monsters. In an old. Insane. Asylum. AN INSANE ASYLUM. What the actual fuck.
There are no queer characters who are happy with their queerness, no queer characters that actually even have an arc that remotely includes their queer aspect, and all of them are fucking oddball freaks. I'm not including Kibo Edouji as a queer character, even though he pretty much objectively is as much as I detest the Kizai propaganda that gets pushed, because he's essentially a brick with a jumper, with no actual character arc, and exists purely to be in love with Senzai. (HEAVY IMPLICATION)
Overall. Not a good look. Time for the main event.
Isamu is a character that hides. While it's obviously not intentional, Book 2 gameplay has an extreme increase in hiding spots compared to Book 1. He was neglected by his father and mother, and definitely is a victim of their abuse I genuinely will not take any of that "we didn't see him get hit" bullshit. Go read my other post about this if you want to argue. Neglected for the first 15 years of his life and probably beyond, hiding in plain sight from care, and this is also shown in the way the C3 teaser shows him deflecting blame from himself, trying to remain hidden, and being caught off-guard when involved in a conversation only to act as the deciding factor in the result of the event, the result being Senzai hit over the head with a glass bottle. His only method of reliable defence was to hide, and he continued to do so throughout the book, hiding or running from danger instead of fighting it.
Giving Isamu a queer identity, or more likely a genderqueer identity would've fitted his character if shown, even briefly, alongside the display of his upbringing. He knows how to hide, it has been instilled into him from the moment he was brought into the world. He was also neglected, meaning the attention was away from him and on his older brother anyway. He could've gotten away with existing as a queer person in his early teens, though it wouldn't necessarily have been readily accepted by his peers. When thrust into the spotlight after the incident, and focus placed on him, likely to "marry well and continue the family lineage", he would've struggled with the conversations.
The UK is currently a shitshow with protecting queer and trans people, but even in school when it wasn't so abhorrent as it is now, the bullying was horrific, and I was incredibly lucky to have firm friends alongside me. I cannot imagine how difficult and isolating it would be in a country such as Japan where gay marriage is still not legal.
This, however, would contribute to him being isolated as an early adult. Isamu has no friends or partners listed in his "relationships" tab on the wiki. In a country where there is an ongoing "loneliness" epidemic, being queer would only further isolate you.
I think him specifically being some form of trans (transfem/neutral) would've introduced yet another parallel to Enzukai. Youngest siblings vying for the attention of their family and going to extreme methods for it (destructive in Enzukai's case and semi-self-destructive in Isamu's). Informal and crass, making (and keeping) them both genderqueer would've introduced a neat parallel, showing us again that Senzai turned from his brother to a version that could give him power, instead of accepting the power that came from Isamu's encouragement. But they decanonised Enzukai being genderqueer. So whatever.
It also gives us an aspect to Isamu's character that's a personal struggle, even if it's in the background and barely touched upon, and derails the focus from being entirely on Senzai and the antagonists for THE ENTIRE BOOK. He wouldn't be a person going through shit in a queer way, it wouldn't be a central aspect of his character. He'd be a character going through shit who also happened to be queer but ultimately is busy focused on saving the world. It humanises him a little and shows how things operate in the real world. Being queer is important to me, undoubtedly, but I also have a job, I have responsibilities, I don't focus on being queer 110% of the time, because it's just one aspect of who I am. It would add another layer to his character that makes him more intriguing when his arc is all about COURAGE. and supposedly acceptance but the execution of that was dubious at best
Isamu's courage. Growing up, becoming stronger, saving his brother and saving the remaining people of Tokyo that he could at extreme risk to himself. I have points to make but they're not totally relevant. Stay Tuned Maybe.
Actually fighting the monsters, fighting a huge dragon with the weaponry equivalent of a very bright candle and barely breaking a sweat. But also having the courage finally to actually show his emotions, show his feelings to someone who isn't himself, and actually break down a little bit even if it was for five seconds, he had the courage to not be okay for a moment. If Isamu had gone through the journey of queer self-acceptance before all this had gone down, it would've GREATLY increased his ability to become courageous and stay courageous, as it is such a hard thing for many people to do, and would show his eternal strength and bravery to keep existing despite the world being against you for who you're attracted to or what you identify as.
We would also finally have a queer character who is genuinely a good person, who before the events had a stable job he enjoyed and got along with his coworkers, even if he wasn't the best at making friends. We would have a queer character who isn't a terrorist, who isn't just a creature or an insane asylum resident clump of flesh. We would have a queer character who is the HERO of the story instead of being a direct antagonist. We would have a complicated, naive and slightly flawed in his thinking queer person who felt the most like an actual, real human from this game.
I have contradicted myself and been aware of it the whole time, as it fuels my own point. Isamu is not a happy character. Even if he was queer he would not exist peacefully, but it isn't due to his queerness. This is less of a point about how queer people rarely end up happy in media - although it's also one I'm actively making - and more about how Isamu himself was treated anyway. A punching bag, a scapegoat for the writers and the fandom intentionally or not, abused, belittled, refused genuine peace at every turn, his one supportive figure snatched away from him at the very last moment, and the last thing he sees being his brother flinching away from him in fear, confirming to him that his self-hatred was correct, diminishing any and all character growth that they barely acknowledged before ripping it away. He died alone and unloved, and being queer wouldn't fix that, a complete rewrite would, and should be done.
To conclude: I'm always going to be angry about the mental health mishandling that happened and continues to happen in this game. Isamu's entire character focus should not have been on his brother. Your only queer characters should not be fucked up evil insane 100% of the time. I miss Isamu. He's a transfem lesbian to me always and forever.
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Yeah, the fact that Noelle can equip some swords is fairly ominous! And It's definitely interesting that the shard is one of those few objects that doesn't seem to change between worlds. Just really wonder what is going on with the Knight that they can look like that even jumping between worlds!
Yeah, it's honestly something I really appreciate about the fandom. It's also just a cool time capsule to see what people thought might happen between chapters, and what people prioritized, and then how those priorities and ideas shift with new information. If Undertale was in part a warning to players that overusing a game will detach you from its characters and world, I really feel like Deltarune is an encouragement to engage in fandom in order to take characters beyond what's already been set out for them.
Mmm no, I believe that part of chapter 2 did happen...it showed Queen's car in that scene, and the little bit you do drive her car she literally just has you barrel through everything in the way. That said, it really does feel to me like Susie is the lynchpin to change how the prophecy goes, just based on what Gerson tells her throughout chapter four. What that ending is, though, still don't know.
The images we see describing the heroes are frustratingly vague. Even the silhouette of "the girl" I feel has a duck-or-bunny situation where it could read as Susie facing left with her hair behind her, or Noelle with her hood up and wearing the tattered wings. Hell, I'd even say Ralsei is not 100% certain...during the sermon, Catty describes one of the heroes as being fluffy with horns, and sounding cute. Is that Ralsei or Asriel? Who even knows right now!!
It's hard to focus on because I feel like that could apply to any one of the main characters, or to none at all and something else entirely. All options would be bad!
Heck, right now I'm already afraid of the fact that there is a scary amount of foreshadowing that Kris will lose a hand before we're done!
Geez I have no clue how to choose. Hard to go wrong with Black Knife in chapter four, of course...but I think a lot of my favorite tunes are weighted towards chapter four. From Now On, Hammer of Justice, Gya Ha Ha! are all bangers... Right now I've got Second Sanctuary on repeat. Heck, even 12AM might be my new melancholy "Quiet Water"-esque favorite.
It really does seem to be there's some bigger conspiracy at work with people working with each other in different capacities...Kris and the Knight are involved, Kris and Carol are involved, Carol and the Knight are involved, Asgore is in that mix somewhere as well, and possibly also Alvin?? Honestly I'm going to need a Pepe Silvia corkboard or something to try and work it all out in my mind.
Dragon Blazers is such an interesting aspect of the game, because Dragon Blazers is the in-text media that Deltarune uses to talk about itself. (Cat Petterz almost seems like the inverse of this, the off-the-beaten-path game in comparison to Dragon Blazers' more straightforward adaptation.)
And yeah, that very well could indeed be a reference to something happening to Dess...I think that was a thought some folks had even before the new chapters. The "stay in the party" part could just be about reinterpretation telephone, yeah. It'd be really nice if we had a copy of Lord of the Hammer and knowledge of what happens in Dragon Blazers to compare, but I don't think that'll ever happen.
The prophecy is so vague on both the terms and symbology used that it could refer to Susie and Kris or the Vessel and Noelle. I don't know if we can say for sure that it's not one or the other. I lean towards the latter because I do like the idea that Susie is the wrench in the prophecy, but there's just as much evidence towards the fact that it IS supposed to be about Susie and Kris.
But man, after Susie's whole development where she's so excited about finally being picked for something, about actually being a hero...getting that rug pulled out from under her is going to really hurt if it happens.
#ask lynx stuff#deltarune spoilers#dr spoilers#dr chapter 3 and 4 spoilers#need to consolidate again
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Pretty boy gets pegged




sub!Noah x dom!Reader
Tags: nsfw, light bdsm, anal sex, pegging, praise kink, puppy play (?), aftercare, cuddling
3.5k words
âGod youâre such a sweet little puppy. Already so good for me,â you praised as you scratched his chin, his eyes closing as he melted into your soft touch. Sure, he enjoyed it when you were rough with him. In fact, there was little that he enjoyed more than being roughly tossed around, slapped, and humiliated. However, for his first time being pegged, you wanted to be gentle with him. You needed to be gentle with him. You knew how intimate and vulnerable of a position he was going to be in, and you wanted to make his first time enjoyable. You wanted him to feel safe, secure, and most of all - thoroughly loved.
Also available on AO3

"You remember what we talked about before?â You asked, standing tall in front of him so that he saw you were being serious. âIf you feel any pain, you tell me immediately. If something feels wrong, you tell me. If I hurt you in any way, you tell me. Am I clear?â You asked, pinning him down with your stare.
âYes,â he said, his voice clear and firm.
âAnd youâre sure youâre okay with this? You can back out anytime you want,â you reminded him in a softer tone as you sat down across from him on the bed, your hand gently carding through his hair.
He nodded eagerly, leaning his head into your touch.
âI trust you,â he whispered, his eyes wide as they gazed lovingly into yours.
âOkay. Can you remind me of your colours again, sweet boy?â
âGreen for if I want to keep going, yellow to slow down or check in, and red to stop,â he eagerly recited, almost buzzing from excitement.
âGod youâre such a sweet little puppy. Already so good for me,â you praised as you scratched his chin, his eyes closing as he melted into your soft touch.
Sure, he enjoyed it when you were rough with him. In fact, there was little that he enjoyed more than being roughly tossed around, slapped, and humiliated. However, for his first time being pegged, you wanted to be gentle with him. You needed to be gentle with him. You knew how intimate and vulnerable of a position he was going to be in, and you wanted to make his first time enjoyable. You wanted him to feel safe, secure, and most of all - thoroughly loved.
âCan you take your clothes off for me now, love?â You gently prompted as you scratched his head.
He nodded, standing up and beginning to undress. You admired his beautiful body as he took off his hoodie and t-shirt, his soft tummy looking oh-so-biteable.
âKeep your boxers on,â you confirmed as he looked towards you, his eyes questioning as he stripped down to his last item of clothing.
You patted the center of the bed, using the same motion that one would use in order to encourage a beloved pet to come over. He sat down, his earlier confidence starting to waver.
âI want you to lay down on your front, okay? Make yourself comfortable,â you directed. Your sweet boy did as was asked of him, shuffling around to find a position that suited him.
âRelax for me now, âkay?â You said as you began to guide your hands up and down his back, massaging out his visibly tense muscles.
He sighed as he melted into the mattress, your hands gently caressing him. You began with his shoulders, rubbing them until they drifted down into their natural position. It seemed like your sweet boy constantly had his shoulders glued to his ears, his stance defensive. You wanted to ensure that he wouldnât do that at this moment. You moved down to his hips, rubbing them and softly squeezing the small amount of fat there. You loved to leave little hickeys and bites there, and you could see the remnants of your previous affection. You traced your finger along the tattoos adorning his body, admiring how they contrasted with his skin.
âIâm falling asleep a little,â he admitted sheepishly, blushing at your ministrations.
âAm I making you feel good? All nice and relaxed?â
âYeahhh,â he mumbled, muffling his voice as he hid his face in the pillow.
âAww youâre so cute. Just stay all nice and relaxed for me, yeah? I want my puppy to enjoy himself,â you said as you carded a hand through his hair, Noah whining softly at your touch.
You giggled to yourself, watching how sweet and subby your beautiful boy was. You continued your ministrations for a few more minutes, ensuring that Noah was calm and relaxed. Soon enough, he began letting our little hums of pleasure, almost purring like a cat.
âAre you my little puppy or my kitty? Because youâre pretty close to meowing in pleasure,â you smiled as he let out a quiet gasp when you gently tugged on his hair.
âDunno,â he mumbled. ââm yours.â
âYeah? Youâre my good boy?â
He nodded eagerly, desperate for you to stake your claim over him.
âOkay pretty boy, do you wanna get started?â you asked as you pulled away from him. âTake your underwear off for me, okay?â
You steadied him as he began to get up, his legs weak from how relaxed he was. You admired him as he took his underwear off, his dick hard and leaking. It was straining against his stomach, twitching slightly as a bead of precum dripped down his shaft.
âAww youâre so excited already. How adorable,â you cooed as you traced a finger down his dick, grinning as he jolted at your touch.
âNot my fault,â he mumbled, looking away and blushing as you shamelessly admired his dick.
âOh, I know puppy. You just canât help it, hmm? Poor thing just wants to feel good,â you teased. âGet on the bed for me now, okay? Lie down facing me,â you guided him, propping up some pillows behind his back so that he would be comfortable.
You placed a soft kiss on his nose before getting off of the bed. You walked over to your sex toy drawer, retrieving your strap-on and bottle of lube. You sat down on the bed again, noticing that Noah was now visibly tense as he noticed what you were holding. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed and his shoulders seemed to have returned to their original position up by his ears.
âRelax for me puppy, okay? I promise Iâll take good care of you,â you said as you stroked your hand along his cheek. He nodded, gazing at you with pure love and adoration in his eyes. âSpread your legs for me, and put your feet flat on the mattress. There we go,â you cooed as he timidly followed your directions.
You retrieved a pillow that you then placed under his hips, ensuring that he was in the most comfortable and convenient position possible. You laid a towel on top of the pillow, wanting a quick cleanup once you were done. You pulled away from him, ignoring his whines as you bent down, mischief in your eyes. You licked along his hole, revelling in his whines and sounds of indignation.
âAww, whatâs wrong puppy?â You teased, leaning towards him as you tenderly tucked some stray hairs behind his ear.
âMean,â he whined, staring up at you with those wide, vulnerable eyes of his.
âIâm sorry, you just look so cute like this. All adorable and exposed, just for me,â you argued, placing a loud, wet kiss on his nose as he scrunched his eyebrows. âIâm going to lube my fingers up now, okay?â You explained as you pulled away.
He whined, loud and displeased that you had stopped touching him.
âI know, I know puppy,â you placated as you spread lube over the fingers that you were going to use to stretch him. âLet me know when youâre ready, and then Iâm going to put my finger inside you okay? Iâll go really slow, and I wonât move onto the next one until you tell me to.â
You used your clean hand to stroke up and down his thigh, wordlessly reassuring him as you noticed that your pretty boy looked fairly tense. You and Noah werenât shy when it came to your sex life - you engaged in many different kinks and practices. When the two of you engaged in BDSM, Noah tended to end up spanked, degraded, restrained. He wasnât a stranger when it came to having hot wax dripped down his body, being edged for hours, or being milked dry. Yet despite having engaged in so many new and different sexual acts with him, you had never seen him this tense and nervous before.
âThis wonât do,â you mumbled to yourself as you noticed the anxiety radiating off of him. He most likely couldnât help it, but it wasnât ideal. If he kept tensing and wouldnât relax, he would most likely end up injured, which was something that you strived to avoid. âWhatâs your colour, sweet boy?â You asked.
âGreen,â he replied, though you still werenât convicted.
âI know that youâre excited, and I know that itâs a little bit scary, but I need you to calm down for me, okay sweetheart? I promise that youâre safe, and Iâll talk you through everything.â
Noah nodded, attempting to compose himself.
âWould it help if I touched your dick while I got your pretty ass all nice and ready?â You asked, keeping your hands on his thighs, your touch grounding him.
âI-I think so,â he replied, unsure.
âOkay then. Iâll stroke your pretty dick while I get your little hole prepared, yeah? How does that sound?â
Noah whined in response, his dick twitching at your words. He loved it when you talked about him in such an explicit way.
You massaged the outside of his hole, getting him used to the feeling of someone touching him in such an intimate place. He had sheepishly admitted to you beforehand that he had never played with his ass before, despite how open he was to bringing new things into the bedroom. It was adorable to see that your sweet boy who longed to be degraded and damaged, was shy about having his pretty little hole played with. And oh, was his hole pretty. Pink and puckered, untainted and pure, virgin and tight. It was practically begging for your attention.
âCan I put my finger inside now?â You asked in a soft voice, not wanting to pressure him as you began to slowly stroke his dick. He nodded in affirmation, but you frowned.
âWords, puppy,â you admonished him.
âYes. Please, yes,â he whined.
âGood boy,â you smiled as you lifted your hand off of his dick in order to scratch at his chin in praise.
âSuch a good puppy for me,â you praised as you used your index finger to trace the outside of his hole, spreading some lube over it. Noah bucked into your touch, already reacting to the stimulation. Your other hand resumed stroking his dick, keeping your motion slow and steady in order to not throw him off. You nudged the tip of your finger into his hole, reveling in the sweet gasp that left his lips.
âYou okay?â You asked.
âMh- yeah,â Noah gasped. âK-keeping going.â
You pressed your finger forward, carefully and cautiously pushing through his tight, virgin muscle. Once your finger had fully entered him, your hand stilled. You looked at his face in order to gauge his reaction.
âIs this okay?â You asked, waiting for his confirmation before you went on any further.
âYeah,â he whispered. âJust feels weird. Good weird though, I think.â
âGod, you're so tight. Tell me if anything hurts, okay?â
He nodded, and you began to crook your finger inside of him, trying to feel around and stretch him. You felt him beginning to loosen up, and you decided to keep stretching him.
âI'm going to add a second finger now, okay? You'll feel stretched, but it shouldn't hurt. Tell me if you need to stop,â you reiterated as you began to push a second, lubed finger into his asshole while you stroked his dick.
There was a little resistance, but it slid in fairly easy as he worked to accommodate it. You gently scissored them inside of him, trying to stretch him. You hoped to work up to a third finger before fucking him with your strap.
Noah made such sweet noises as you stretched him, your fingers exploring him as you searched for that little spot that would make him go crazy. Soon, he gasped aloud, his body seizing up as you finally managed to find his prostate.
âThere we go. Easy does it. That feel good, puppy?â
He whined, his hips bucking into your touch as you made him feel good. Your fingers rubbed against his sweet spot, teasing and tormenting him with pleasure. You couldn't help it - you strived to pull as many cute noises from him as possible. He chased your touch, alternating between bucking into the hand that held his dick, and fucking himself back onto your fingers.
âSuch a good puppy, taking it so well.â
You kept stretching him, your fingers stimulating his prostate over and over again. He seemed to finally, truly relax. His body melted into the mattress, his eyes glazed over, and the noises he made were unrestrained and unabashed. You slowed the hand that was on his dick, not wanting him to cum too early.
âCan I try a third finger now?â You asked after some time of stretching and stimulating him.
He managed to pull himself together enough in order to give you a noise of confirmation. It was cut off as he let out a loud moan of pleasure as your third finger stretched him even more.
âYou're being so good for me puppy.â
âTaking my fingers so well.â
âMaking so many pretty noises for me.â
âI love that I'm the first person to touch you like this.â
âDoing so well for me.â
You could see the light pink blush flood his face as he fell apart at your touch. Sweat was beading along his forehead, he had tears in his eyes, and there was not a single thought left in that pretty head of his.
After a few minutes of stretching, you slowly pulled your fingers out of him, his whimpers of indignation not escaping your attention.
âHey puppy,â you quietly called out, attempting to get Noahâs attention. His eyes were glazed over, and mentally, he was far gone into the land of subspace. âWe can stop here, keep going with the strap, or I can keep fingering you to completion. Can you tell me what you want to do?â
Noah whined for a moment, having to come back to the land of the living after being drowned in pleasure for so long. âW-wanna keep going. Need you inside me,â he whimpered.
âGood boy, thank you for answering me. And colour?â
âGreen.â
âThank you,â you whispered against his skin, as you leaned down in order to press a kiss to his thigh. âIâm going to get my strap now, okay?â
Noah nodded, his eyes following you as you stood up from the bed. You retrieved the strap-on, stepping into the straps before pulling it up and adjusting it to your liking, ensuring that the soft material hugged your hips. He gazed up at you, almost in wonder, as he admired the sight of you above him. He took in the size of the strap - it was smaller than him, and not as thick, however the size still felt daunting.
He whimpered as you got onto the bed, positioning yourself between his spread legs. You poured lots of lube onto the dildo, spreading it with your hand to make sure that the whole length of it was slick. The last thing you wanted to do was intentionally hurt your pretty boy.
âIâm going to press inside you now. I'll go slowly, and if you want to stop, you tell me, okay?â You reassured him, your eyes filled with love as you met his gaze.
âYeah,â he whispered, his mouth going dry at the prospect of what was about to happen.
You held the dildo with one hand, guiding it toward Noah. You rubbed the tip against his pulsing hole, reveling in his tiny whimpers of anticipation.
âRelax sweetheart.â
Slowly, you began to press inside. He gasped when the tip breached his hole, the stretch feeling foreign. You placed your free hand on his hip, stroking the soft skin there in an attempt of comfort. A soft touch, reminding him that you're there, and that you'll keep him safe.
âSweet puppy, being so good for me, taking everything that I give him.â
You kept pushing in, pausing every few seconds in order to let Noah adjust to this new and unfamiliar stretch and sensation. Though, the sweet little noises that he let out were absolutely delightful. Your praises were interrupted by his whines and whimpers, as he was rendered unable to control even the sounds that he made.
âFeel that, puppy? Iâm all the way in,â you cooed as your hips met his. âYouâre taking me so well. Iâm so proud of you, sweetie.â
You steeled your hips, and all you received in response from Noah was a high-pitched whine. He was completely and utterly blissed out, overwhelmed with an all-consuming feeling of fullness. He let out little whines and pants, sweating from the effort as his body was stretched to accommodate you.
âLet me know when to move, okay?â You said, leaning down in order to press a soft kiss to his forehead. He whined, chasing after your touch when you pulled away. You brought one of your hands down, tenderly stroking up and down his thigh in order to comfort him.
âY-you can move now,â he said, his eyes full of trust and adoration.
He had completely given himself over to you, and you reveled in that trust. You pulled out slightly and gave an experimental thrust of your hips, smiling at Noahâs gasp of surprise.
âMore, please-â
You fulfilled his wish, beginning to set a steady rhythm of thrusts. Noah let out a loud moan, his back arching as your hips met his.
âYouâre such a good boy for me. Being so good, taking me so well,â you praised as you drove your hips into him, aiming for his prostate. âDo you think you can cum untouched for me?â
Noah whined loudly at that, the noise high-pitched and keen to please you. His eyes were shut as tears of pleasure began to roll down his face. You reached out a hand in order to wipe his tears away, and sped up your thrusts, focusing on his prostate.
âShh puppy, itâs okay. Youâre doing so good.â
You brought your hand down to his, entwining your fingers with his. You squeezed his hand, in a touch that said, âIâm here. Iâve got you. You can trust meâ.
âEasy, puppy, easy,â you said as Noah seized up, whining and whimpering as his dick twitched, painting his stomach with his cum. âThere we go,â you cooed as you watched the cum pool on his stomach, his dick red and spent.
You lowered yourself onto him, watching as he struggled to regain his breath. He was still deep in the throes of pleasure, his eyes glazed over and little thought in that head of his. You gently pet his head, pushing his sweaty hair from his face in order to leave a soft kiss on his forehead.
âCome back to me baby, yeah?â
Noah slowly came back to you, his hooded eyes blinking slowly. He leaned into your touch, reveling in your praise and attention. You slowly pulled out of him, reassuring him as he whined at the feeling. You admired how his now stretched hole clenched and fluttered desperately. You took your strap off, placing it aside for cleaning later. You wandered into the bathroom, grabbing a small towel and letting some warm water from the faucet run over it. You came back into the bedroom, seeing Noah curled up on his side, slightly shaking.
âHey puppy, I'm just going to clean you up now, okay?â
You made it clear that your next actions were purely caring and not sexual. You didn't wait for a response, knowing that he was too far gone in subspace to even muster up the ability to say a word or two. You used the wet towel in order to gently wipe him down, cleaning the cum off of his dick and stomach. You kept your touch clinical, though you praised him for how well-behaved he was for you. Noah arched into your touch, letting out little hums of pleasure at the praise and the warm feeling of the towel. You then moved onto cleaning his ass, taking extra care to be gentle. You didn't want to irritate his pulsing, red hole any further. You cleaned up whatever lube you could see, pressing a small kiss to his back once you were done.
You pulled the spare towel from under his hips, and brought both towels into the bathroom to be dealt with tomorrow. For now, you simply wanted to cuddle and reassure your pretty boy. You washed your hands before laying down on the bed beside him, pulling your sweet boy into your chest. You stroked Noah's hair, murmuring praise softly.
âYou took me so well.â
âYou were so well-behaved for me.â
âYou did so good, listening to me and following me directions.â
âYou looked so adorable underneath me.â
âThank you mommy,â he mumbled as he rested his face in your bosom, his breaths evening out as he drifted to sleep, cradled in your arms.

Dividers by silent-stories
#sub!noah#noah sebastian#bad omens fanfiction#noah sebastian x reader#bad omens#bad omens smut#noah sebastian smut#noah x reader
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