#the drums dont even sound like roger's anymore

[branloaf]

decided to listen to the new version of liar and if that's any indication of the rest of the new queen i release... yikes...

[randomsevans]

The habit part 2

@jtargaryen18 30daysofchris2020

'How could you let your self be so foolish ' you kept telling yourself all night along .With the tears, throwing pillows (anything you could get your hands on ) around . Needles to say , you didnt get any sleep again and you see if being that way for a while .

After a long day of advoiding Steve in the gym , you dont think you have ever worked out more in your life , your knuckles were close to bleeding, many times Bucky had to keep telling you to stop. It wasnt till night fell you could truly let your emotions out . It wasnt till you caused a loud sound that echoed though the tower , when you though your lamp . When Nat and Bucky came to your room and looked after you again .

The morning air was quite and cold , Nat and Buck had went to go and get breakfast as you stayed your room to get change . You felt numb as if your soul was gone . You dont know why you feel like this, you cant help it , but it's not like you two were anything . You were just stuiped to catch feeling for something he probably seen has he being nice . That why it makes it feel so worst , you cant be mad . How can you ? Its Steve the most kindest human with those stuiped blue eyes . The only person you should be mad at is your self .

Turning a corner you felt half asleep . In zombie mode . You were looking at your feet which were slowly making there way forward when you collided with a wall and fell straight on your ass . "God ,y/,n you in there ? Someone tired this morning?" Arrr great clint , your never gonna live this down

"Ass !" You said getting up.

"Well you just fell on yours " clint laught walking into the kitchen "ha guy ,guess I didnt know we had a zombie in the compand?" He shouted annoyingly to group of people that were all around the table as he sat down .

You begin to walk over not amused by Clint or anyone , when you notice there was no seats left . Everyone was in there own conversation, talking about the most stuiped morning shit . You quickly glance maybe there might be one seat . No none . You looked at steve he had the biggest smile on his face, laughing as hes arm was behind Sharon was was snug against his side smiling. In your seat . Your chest tightened again . But you didnt know what more for a the fact no one saw you, Sharon and Steve or that fact . YOUR seat was taken . You have never felt so alone and pushed out of the group like you dont belong. There were all happy, your dark mood would just worsen their day , if they even knew you were there .

You turned to the kitchen and got a bowl , some cereal you randomly picked up . And turned around to walk out the room . As you left you heard to echoes of laughter as you made your way back into your room with clouded eyes . It wasnt till you reached outside your room you looked at the bowl . You forget the milk . 'Wow y/n good . Oh what the fuck I'm not even hungry!'you thought as you though the bowl toward the wall opposite your door . You just watched it smash into pieces, going all over the follow , watching the cereal slip every where ,bouncing along the corridor . You just stared at it , feeling numb , not even feeling bad for making a mess you are not going to clean up . You just thought what a symbol for your heart . Your not even sure you have one anymore .

You entered your room , slowly as if you were scared to move to fast .

"Friday " you called out .

"Yes Miss y/l/n ?"

"Dont let anyone in my room ..." you began " if anyone even comes looking " you whispered the last part .

"Do you intend to stay in here to day miss ."

"Yes I'm staying "

"Are you sick ?"

"Of life " you mumbled "no I just want to stay in here " you said more firmly.

"But miss you have training with Captain Roger's at 10 am "

"Cancel it ! ... in fact cancel all my sessions with him , change it to either Barnes or Romanoff!"

"Cancel ! ... Captain Roger's has been informed and his new partner will be miss Carter under his request " she announced , now that stings " I'm sorry miss but Barnes and Romanoff already booked their session and theres no changing.."

"I'll do it my self then .."

"M'sorry miss you cant ..."

"I can !"

"Its not saf....."

"It doesnt matter anyway Friday , I'll do it my self , Its not big deal , and if anyone ask I'm out !"

"Okay miss "

Silence. Silence fill the room , bring pain to your ear drums . You walk toward your bed and lift the covers and plop your self in between the cover , pulling the blanked over your head . You let out a loud sob as your head hit the pillow , mufling the sound as cold tears stream down your hot cheeks . You feel like you cant breath between the weight of the sheets over your head and your sobbing.

This was your new habit

You feel your eyes become heaving as your breath become even more irregular and tear ducts dry , you felt your mind wonder into darkness .

○●○○●○○●○○●○○●○○

'BANG!'

You jumped a wake , 'god what time is it?' Your mind was pounding much like the door , adrenaline though your veins

"Y/n ?" Bucky , okay so you know that voice . Your mind still fuzzy from walking up

"What's going on ?" You hurned another voice outside 'Tony ?' You think

"Is everything okay ?" Your heart stopped ' Steve ?'

"NO ITS NOT !" You heard Nat .'god is the whole team outside.

"What the matter " great Sharon

"Nothing to concern you " bucky anger shown in his voice .

"Ha Buck calm down no need to be like that to my girl " Steve defended .

"Oh fuck off would ya " Bucky shout " y/ n please open up !"

"Bucky calm down " Tony yelled over Bucky ."Friday open the door "

"I'm sorry sir I cant "

"What ! "

"Dont you think we've tried that tony "Nat now sounded worried "y/n I know your in there "

"Miss y/n is out " Friday said .

"See she out ! No need to be like this " steve

"No she hasn't left the compand I check to carma s , have you even seen her today ?" Natasha now sounds on the verge of tears , while you sat still on your bed scared to move.

"No .. no I havnt , she cancel our session " Steve voice wavered in panic " is shes okay?"

"Maybe shes sick , Friday is y/n sick ? " Tony ask .

"Of life sir " Friday respond ,great she heard that.

Gasp were heard out side , you ran into the bathroom scared as if you were a child in trouble you sat your self on the floor, knees tucked under your chin , rocking back and forth , more tears rolling down , how is more tears even possible at this point?

More ponding at the door. "Y/n please tell me you haven't done something stuiped ?" Bucky sounded as if he was near to crying , with considnt pouncing at your door . "Please!!" He shouted at the top of his lungs " open the door "

"She just probably being dramatic " you heard sharon wining voice .The next thing your heard was a loud shudder as somthing hit the floor , followed by screams of "NAT ! " "ROMANOFF!" "NATASHA !"

"Say that again and I'll kill you "

"Nat stop " steve switch to his cap voice "open the door y/n .. come on this isn't funny "

"Leave now "Bucky challenged Steve .

"No not until I know shes okay !" Steve challenged Bucky .

"She will be when you leave !"

"But ..." Steve began

"Why do you even care ?" Bucky shouts

"Because I lo....."

"Steve please " you heard sharon crying.

"Oh babe ...come on .. Nat apologise!"

"Over my dead body ... now every one leave " nat voice filled with authority.

"Okay !" Followed by foot steps heading the other direction.

"Y/n everyone's left it's just me and Buck , open up , we ain't mad just worried open up please or at least let us know your okay?"

Silence . You dont know how long . But it was just silent .

In a low whisper your voice barely cracking though the thick abosant of sound " friday inform them I'm okay "

"Of course miss " friday respond.

Silence again . Once again you wernt able to measure the amount of time due to your fuzzy mind .

"Okay. Come out when your ready , eh ? Just know your not going to push us away " bucky said

"And what did a bowl of cereal ever do to you eh " Natasha let out a small laugh . Which caused you to make a small chuckle.

You found strength and wonder to your door slowly ,pulling it open to reveal two very red eyed worried assistant. You wander how you can make two of the most deadly people in the world near to tears .

"It didnt have milk" you put on a small innocent smile .

Bucky grinning down at you with Natasha on his side even smiling more . "There she is "

[sarinataylor]

Joger ask: how would they cope with Roger having a crisis about the fact that John has written hit singles including their biggest ever hit and he has yet to pop his a-aide cherry? Is he rubbish? Is he really just a pretty face? He knows he brings lots of musical input & the sonic volcano & ‘the girl for everything’ for the band but really, who is he kidding? And John can’t deny that he aced his degree or does the finances or wrote hits... Thankfully Radio Gaga comes along and all ends well...

hmmmm ok. this got? long. very ramble-y. apologies

so like. roger is so fucking proud of john y’know???? and it’s not john’s songs being more successful than his which is cutting deep (because, well, commercial success is somewhat ehh to roger now that they’ve already made it big. the music he’s writing and creating, off on the side, is more about the music than anything else), it’s that he didn’t see it coming

100% did not see aobtd being a hit. hated recording it with his drums taped up, and thought the whole thing was a waste of time which.... it obviously wasn’t because john’s latest royalty cheque was big enough to have even freddie blinking in surprise

and. well. roger’s kind of always been the one with his finger on the pulse, so to speak. roger was riding the early waves of punk before the sex pistols had so much as looked at a safety pin and thought, “hmm, i wonder”. and his ability to keep up with, stay just one step ahead, of the trends has been invaluable in the past and now.... he might be slipping behind?

because even though he fucking hated half of the lines in ymbf he... he knew it was going to be a hit in the US. that sort of soft poppy feel, with a funky little bassline? the american’s eat that shit up in spades. of course it was going to be popular.

but, yeah, he didn’t see aobtd being a hit and now he’s starting to wonder if maybe the reason he isn’t writing hits isn’t because he hasn’t been trying to appeal to the broader audience, hasn’t been trying to write songs that will get massive air time or be played in clubs, but because he’s got no fucking clue about what people want anymore

‘girl for everything.......... except knowing what people want’ doesn’t, uh, sound as good

and it’s not? it’s not a Big Deal, not really. he just gets a little quieter about voicing his opinions on tracks because, well, maybe he doesn’t actually know what the fuck he’s talking about?

and so, hot space

brian’s losing his gd mind arguing with everyone and everything because he feels backed into a corner, freddie isn’t playing the peacekeeping role he usually does, john is being Just a Little Bit of an egotistic shit, and roger is........... not getting involved. which works kind of awfully because both brian and john take his silence as tacit approval of their position, which boils over into a lot of misunderstandings about just what it is roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio

(and mostly what roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio is that this album is going to be a Fucking Disaster because instead of ripping apart one anothers songs and building them back up stronger all they’re doing is ripping into one another and calling it creative differences)

and he tosses up a couple of songs and lets them do what they will with them (and oh my god if you haven’t listened to action this day performed live???? do urself a favour and do it oh my god i fucking hated that song until i listened to it live) because well. they probably know better than he does at the moment, because he doesn’t quite trust himself. and tensions are high enough that inserting himself into the cockfight when he isn’t actually Sure about his opinions just seems an unnecessary risk.

and. uh. hot space...................................................... does as it does

and john is pretty mortified about the whole thing because.... ???? all of that work and fighting and it’s flopping which is. made all the more worse by brian’s oh too casual sympathetic comments during the press junket, and then even worse by the way that roger. doesn’t seem surprised?? because. well. even when it was a love song written about roger roger was honest about what he didn’t like about it, but now there’s a whole fucking album that john pushed really hard for and roger a) didn’t like it and b) didn’t tell him

he thought they respected one another more than that. he thought they were more secure than that. 

which sort of........ simmers uncomfortably between them as they gear up for the tour and sort of. explodes when roger starts making suggestions for changes to some of the songs for the live performances that. annoyingly sound much better and why didn’t you bring this up when we were recording the fucking album, roger (look aight atd sounds SO MUCH BETTER LIVE, IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND IM STILL SHOOK)

and roger’s sort pussyfooting around it because oh well... you know you and freddie really wanted to this one as a sort of concept album..... and brian and i didn’t want to interfere...... (brian: very much did want to interfere) ............ so ya know................ it’s not really my style so i didn’t wanna stick my foot where it doesn’t belong.........

and john’s like???? its music what the fuck are you Talking About? you know music you know what sounds good and what doesnt and it’s not like you’ve ever been shy about voicing your opinions before, so forgive me if im a bit confused about the sudden reticence 

regardless, it’s Not a Big Deal. no really. roger will insist this til the day he dies

and things calm down? they take a break and, as they are wont to do, the tensions of the band slowly start slipping from john and roger’s day to day lives? like, when they’re not living in close quarters and feeding off of the energies that brian and freddie and mack and everyone else is putting out. it’s just them, yeah? 

but anyway, roger’s still been writing music and ha enough for a new solo album so he’s like. yeah. think imma do that and john’s a bit taken aback because? fuck, you’ve been busy then you said you didn’t have much of anything for hot space??? and roger’s like. uh, yup. been busy. busy bee, me. ya know. while ur out painting the shed i gotta keep myself occupied somehow

except. well. john’s obviously lending a hand with bass and mixing, and brian’s in and out too, so’s freddie and. it’s freddie, actually, who picks up that roger had been working on the beat of  I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) back in the studio when they’d been working on hot space which.   doesn’t make sense, because he definitely hadn’t shown them it to them which is odd, because roger usually shows them everything he writes in case they want it for queen? 

and then brian chimes in because, actually, he recognises the lyrics for killing time? 

and john is like what the FUCK is going on because this is just? weird? 

so john ends up lowkey cornering him at home in a totally not cool sneaky fashion (read: he gives him a fucking mindblowing orgasm and then is like [head propped on roger’s chest] SO)  because???? ofc he supports rog’s solo career but also? why didn’t he share what he was writing with him? what’s going on? music’s always been a language they’ve shared, even if they tended towards different dialects, and now it... well it doesn’t feel very good that roger seems to be inching him out of something that john knows is so very important to him

and roger’s like huh no idea what you’re talking bout. been really busy writing recently. shame though, means i might not have much for the next queen album

and john’s like? do you want to leave queen, if that what this is about?

and roger’s horrified because what the fuck no i’m just not sure i’ll have much to contribute is all which has john like?? because. it’s roger of course he’s got something to contribute what the fuck are you talking about

but roger’s like oh well ya know nothing im really writing at the moment is much of our current style so. that’s cool, though. that’s fine

but john is confused bc well. hot space was a bit of a failure so they’re probably headed back to more consistent waters so that’s not a problem, and hey, maybe if roger had injected a bit more of his style into the album things might have been better right?

ANYWAY basically john’s like yo my man like. if u dont wanna write any material for the new album that’s? fine ig? but we kinda Need You to be a little bitch about the things u dont like because.... things work better when ur being a nitpicky little bitch than when ur being silently supportive of me :) though that was sweet

and rogers like oh i was 100% not being supportive of either u or brian’s bullshit tbh i just. disco isn’t my forte ya know i didn’t wanna chat shit ab smth i know nothing about like, god, imagine if you’d listened to me about aobtd????????? 

which. john’s like. i? i mean, i did. fuck sake, the whole thing got rewritten to be about our dog (steve) bc u made a joke about it? i.     i did listen to u about aobtd

and john has honestly NO IDEA what any of this is about? because roger has an awful tendency to sit on things until they’re Much Bigger than what they were to begin with. like, john’s actually not great at that? he’s not very good at hiding that he’s angry or upset, not for the long term. roger’s a lot better at it in the worst kind of way, because unless you pick up on it right at the beginning by the time you’ve figured out something’s wrong it’s months down the track and so many micro interactions or events have been tacked onto the Original Problem that it’s a sprawling mess of “i dont want to communicate that im feeling vulnerable about something so instead im gonna try and turn my vulnerabilities into armour” - like deciding to turn all of your writing, not just the stuff that won’t fit on your main project’s albums, into solo material because your solo stuff doesn’t have to be successful 

but also, ok fine. 

and so he sort of? lets it go? because tbh once roger latches onto something, when u havent go in there early enough? your best bet is to just wait for him to.... get over it. which he generally does. he doesnt have the patience for decade long grudge matches, not really.

and then it all comes to a head when brian writes and shows them all machines (or: back to humans) which obvs came about from an idea of roger’s and. well. freddie thinks its amazing, john is nodding along even as he sends him small little side eyes and well. fuck it, right?

and so the next week he comes in and slams down the first rough draft of radio gaga, the music heavily influenced by I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) which freddie had been complaining about being used up on a solo album 

and then he goes home and tops the hell out of john, the end.

[winteriron-trash]

The (Un)Wanted Kiss [Chapter 5]

A/N: Oh god, I still feel like shit. My head hurts so bad you’d think Athena was about to come out of it. And I hate this chapter. It didn’t even hit the major plot point it was supposed to, but if I’d written anymore it would’ve been too long and all that stupid shit. Whatever. Ends on another cliffhanger, because I’m an asshole. If you asked to be added to the tag list and weren’t (or haven’t asked and want to be), please lemme know. I’m now juggling two tag lists while Tumblr eats my notifications and it sucks. And people who are on the list aren’t even getting their notifications. Fucking Tumblr.

Summary/Warnings | AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

-

Breaking into HYDRA was about as easy as Bucky had anticipated it would be. The guard count was disgustingly low as if HYDRA couldn’t make it any more obvious they were trying to bait him in. Bucky might’ve ridiculed them for that if it wasn’t working. Bucky was well aware that HYDRA wasn’t the idiot here. He was the one who came to get himself kidnapped.

But it was what it was. Bucky was already in, just waiting to get jumped by a halfway decent agent and not the target dummies they called guards. Once they took him to Tony, Bucky could figure out a plan there, with Tony’s help.

Bucky wasn’t sure what exactly Tony’s reaction was going to be. He assumed there would be an annoyance, he’d probably curse Bucky out, call him all the names Bucky was already calling himself in his head. At least Bucky could say he was mostly positive Tony would help in trying to escape, even if just for the sake of self-preservation. And if he didn’t, Bucky would improvise. He could handle a simple rescue mission, regardless of whether his target was willing or no.

Well, maybe not simple. But it was what it was. Bucky would rescue Tony. He just had to find him first.

Bucky was walking through the hallways, listening closely for Tony’s staccato and out of sync heartbeat when he got jumped.  

Five trained men. All adequately armed. Two in the front, one in the back, one on either side. Non-lethal strikes. Aiming for incapacitation.

Realistically, Bucky could’ve beaten them. Without a doubt, he could’ve. HYDRA didn’t train it’s men the way they’d trained him. Hell, Bucky probably could’ve taken double the number of men with half the weapons he was armed with. But if Bucky beat them, they wouldn’t take him to Tony, and the whole point of going into the HYDRA compound would’ve been voided.

So Bucky put up just enough fight to make it hurt, to show he was still the damned Winter Soldier, but he let the agents win. He let his body fall slack when a needle pricked his neck and the world went dark.

-

Bucky woke up in a cell. Not that he was surprised, really. At least it was better than the Chair.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

Bucky sat up, blinking. His armour had been stripped, weapons taken away. All Bucky wore were his boxers and a white tank top. He probably looked like shit. Not as shitty as Tony looked, though.

Tony was sitting against the wall, wearing jeans and tank top, elbow propped up on his knee. His hair was a matted mess, clothes and skin grimy. He looked like he’d been through the ringer, covered in bruises and scrapes.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something, but before he could get the words out, Tony brought his hand to his chest, pointing diagonally. Bucky followed the line of sight and found himself staring at a camera with a microphone. Right. HYDRA was listening.

Judging by the layout of the cell, Tony was sitting in the only blind spot the camera had. There was a hole in the ground Bucky assumed functioned as a toilet and a single threadbare cot. It was disgusting, even for HYDRA.

Bucky cleared his throat, and Tony arched an eyebrow. The look on Tony’s face was one that was hard to read, eyes narrowed and mouth pulled into a hard line. He looked exasperated, annoyed, and exhausted all at the same time, with a touch something else Bucky couldn’t quite grasp.

 “I wanted…” Bucky cleared his throat, painfully aware of the camera in the corner of the room. “I wanted to help you.”

Tony rolled his eyes so hard Bucky saw the whites of his eyes. “You did a real nice job of that, snowflake.” The pet name was oddly nice, under the guise of their game of charades.

Bucky scooted over to where Tony was. He was only half obscured by the camera blind spot, but that was good enough. Tony sighed and pulled himself up into Bucky’s lap, dragging them both completely into the blind spot. Well, that worked too.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said. It was easier than he’d thought it be, faking the apologetic tone.

“Yeah, well for what it’s worth, I’m glad they didn’t kill you, snowflake.” Tony put his head on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky frowned. Tony knew they were in the blind spot, didn’t he? The visual aspect of their fake relationship didn’t matter.

Bucky swallowed, throat clicking. “Yeah. You too.” He wrapped an awkward arm around Tony. The cell was cold, and Tony’s clothing was inadequate. Bucky tried not to think about that too hard. He still hated Tony. For the most part, anyway.

Tony nodded and let out a loud sigh. He idly tapped his finger on Bucky’s thigh, eyes fluttering shut.

Wait. That was Morse code. Bucky focused on the rhythm with a frown.

Two guards patrol every six hours. We’re in the eastern side of the building, likely underground. Most plausible exits on the left. Cell bars are adamantium and electric.

Bucky tilted his head to the side. He couldn’t even begin to think of how Tony managed to figure all that out in the short period of time he’d been in HYDRA’s captivity. A genius would always be a genius, Bucky supposed.

Do you have an escape route planned? Bucky tapped back.

Not yet. Especially not now, considering any of my ideas were reliant on me getting myself out, not two people.

Bucky bit his lip. They haven’t gotten anything out of you, have they?

Haven’t even tried. Just banged me up a bit. Tony shifted a bit, curling his knees in. I’m not their target.

I know.

Then why the hell are you here?

I wanted to help you.

Nice job on that one. You gave HYDRA exactly what they wanted. All they need now is to find someone who knows your codewords.

We’ll figure this out.

We? Tony twisted, giving Bucky a slight glare.

Bucky sighed. Look, I’m sorry.

No, you’re not. You purposely walked into what you knew was a trap. Tony narrowed his eyes.

Was trying to help you, asshole. Bucky tapped so fast he wasn’t even sure if Tony would be able to understand it.

Tony rolled his eyes. You couldn’t even give me a week here to figure it out? I got out of Ten Rings, I can handle HYDRA. Tony shook his head and snorted. There are other ways to get away from Rogers, you know.

Bucky blinked. This isn’t about Steve.

Is it?

Bucky scowled. Well, even a cell couldn’t make Tony Stark less of an asshole. He didn’t tap anything back, just looked away to glare at the floor.

Tony let out another loud sigh. “I’m going to sleep, snowflake. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Bucky forced the words out, even as they were thick in his throat.

Tony nodded, tucking his forehead into the crook of Bucky’s neck. It only took him a few minutes before his heart rate and breathing slowed. Bucky wondered if he’d gotten any sleep since he was taken.

Bucky watched Tony sleep with a tight look. Tony was… peaceful asleep. There wasn’t the stress or tension wearing into features. Bucky’s stomach did a weird little churn, seeing Tony asleep, just because it made it apparent just how tense Tony really was. Bucky felt a bit like an asshole for not noticing before.

All in all, Bucky supposed he did understand Tony, to some extent. Even if he hated the man, he at least understood Tony. Tony was under a lot of pressure, between a rock and a hard place more often than not. He might not have always chosen the options best for Bucky or whoever else, but they always worked, however crude.

Bucky found himself stroking Tony’s hair before he really knew what he was doing. Not that it mattered. Tony was asleep, and they were in the camera’s blind spot. Bucky didn’t have to worry about anyone else seeing. And he tried not to think about why he was doing it.

As much as Bucky wanted Tony to take the reins in planning their escape, he knew he couldn’t sit back and do nothing. It’d be a matter of time before HYDRA found someone who knew the codewords, and then Tony was as good as dead, and Bucky was even worse off. The idea of HYDRA having their poison back in Bucky’s head made him want to cry, scream, and vomit all at the same time. He needed to do something other than sit and wait for hell to come and find him.

Well, there was one thing. One thing Bucky desperately didn’t want to do. Didn’t want to have to explain to Tony why it mattered, why he had to do it. It’d make no sense to someone without extensive HYDRA knowledge. It’d sound absolutely insane. Tony might not even believe him. He could take it the wrong way, and things could go downhill for Bucky fast.

But… it was the best option. All personal feelings aside, it was actually rather brilliant. If the people HYDRA had watching them didn’t know the codewords, they certainly wouldn’t know about… the failsafe. With Tony and Bucky’s fake relationship, it’d actually be easier to play off, if anything, as twisted as that was.

Bucky drummed his fingers on his knee, thinking. It wouldn’t be the worst thing Bucky’d ever had to do. It wouldn’t even make the top ten, really. Bucky could probably make it quick too if Tony cooperated.

Bucky gave Tony’s sleeping figure a final look and let out a resigned sigh. It would work. Now all Bucky had to do was wait for Tony to wake up.

-

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