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#the drawing is a bit shitty but im still proud of it!
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Safiya Nygaard is one of my favorite youtubers and her recent Yankee candle video inspired me to create this!
Please welcome, Sir Nygaard, loyal knight of the crustious kingdom!
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My favorite bit of this is the crusty flag (rip❤️)
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craacked-splatters · 8 months
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"I know"
"Do u want to see what I added today?"
"Sure buddy"
(insane rambling below!)
Scrapbooks! Scrapbooks! Hell yeah!!
Hello to the 5 ppl seeing this👋 Ima be real Im running on 7 hours of sleep after 5day grind brain mushy rn and I scribbled everything maniacally by memory at 3am after having one of those revelation moments so I have no idea what I'm missing lmao. This is actually the first time drawing them like this 2. Really proud of it
and B4 u ask anything hear me out.
So like tmnt2012 mutant apocalypse am I right?
Yeah it's flawed and pacings off and stuff BUT! The implications it left behind are haunting and it has been stuck in my brain for years. One of the things that stuck with me was the fact that Raph and Don had stuff like April's tessen, Mikey's stuffed bear head, The Creeps containment jar, and Casey's skull(horrifying btw) with them and that it's like :((
I fully believe it was Donnie who collected and carried them everywhere in their car. Not only for Raph(to help with this memory)but also for himself.
Why? Well maybe I'm reading 2 much into it and it's also partly a HC of mine but also bc canonically Donnie has a bit of a hoarding habit collecting trinkets and pictures and stuff. He likes to keep things around that hold a lot of significant value to him.
We see this in The Creeping Doom during the intro
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AND I swear he's got a literal wall of family photos in his lab somewhere I can't for the life of me find it but I know he did! He even took some to the farmhouse with him when they escaped during the invasion.
They're memories yk? Reminders..
Ok im having difficulty expressing this shit rn words r failing so like give me ur brain 4 a sec.
Imagine ur donbot.
You're stuck in a cold metal limbo for the rest of ur last remaining family members life. Everything and everyone you knew and cared about is dead and gone. Over thousands of species and ecosystems that made ur world unique wiped out. No more animals no more wild things no more blue clear skys. Death can't come for you. Not in a way that matters anymore.
And no matter where u go you are haunted by shadows of what once was. There are so many echoes and ghosts and cultures and stories and lives that were buried & left to rot by the gaping maws of fear & the desperate need to survive. No one cares for the past and the only other person around you can't remember it. Time will claim its domain again and there will be nothing left except empty metal husks to show sentience even existed in the first place.
Like holy shit he was just a kid bro and he never got the chance to even reach full adulthood!!! I can't possibly imagine the grief and guilt he must've carried with him all those years. He lost EVERYTHING
His family. His home. His world.
Did Donnie even get the chance to mourn??? Do u think his new body allowed it? Do u think he even ALLOWED himself to mourn? He had a hurt amnesiac brother who still needed to eat, who could still starve and bleed and die if they weren't careful enough.
So between his habits and the ✨Angst✨ and human pollution, him hoarding random ass things Wall-E style and making these shitty little scrapbooks or keepsakes didn't seem so far fetched to me. I also highly doubt there was enough time or resources to build shrines or graves in the middle of apocalypse. But yk honoring/preserving the memories of the things and ppl we love is natural for us so like SORRY if its a bit cringe of me wanting him to have SOMETHING to comfort him during the really bad days.
Even if its more bitter than sweet
Bonus doodads cuz I was indecisive:
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The 1st was purple tinted cuz of donbot vision get it hehehe
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candycatstuffs · 1 year
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HOLY MACARONI you bump out so much art its incredible!! how do u stay motivated???
Honestly, I don't!
A few years back, I started this thing called Sketch Page a Day where I tried to make myself draw at least 1 small page of art every day regardless of how i was feeling or the quality of the art. Sometimes it was finished pieces i was proud of, sometimes it was shitty doodles that i threw up on the canvas cuz my brain was Empty. Didnt matter as long as i filled a page. I still didnt draw every day, but it did make me more consistent and keep me from stopping for months at a time like before.
Flashforward to now, i dont actively try to follow the Sketch Page a Day thing like i used to, but im so used to drawing lik every day that it doesnt rly matter lol. Im just so used to doing it that motivation has nothin to do with it.
HOWEVER i am particularly motivated right now! I was in a bit of an art block mentally, so i downloaded some new brushes on firealpaca to try out. I tried the scratchy brush and my brain EXPLODED painting with it sjdkkdk. That lead to my current fixation on making things to be turned into physical objects, which is why im so motivated rn. So ig if ur not feelin motivated tey smth new to see if that sparks anything, and if u feel the spark grab that mf and see where it leads u! If that doesnt work, just try to do a little every day to keep the juices flowin, ya never kno when youll draw something that makes inspiration/motivation strike >:]
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meruz · 2 years
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maybe a weird question, but does the show that your backgrounds appear in ever make you feel differently about your work? like as an artist im sure youre pretty much always proud of the finished product but if the show that uses them is one you dont like does it ever.. make you feel weird?? or is it still just like "hey, i did that!"
nah..Not any weirder than posting art in general feels LOL. the thing is, liking a tv show as entertainment is different from liking it as a workplace which is also different from liking it as idk… an art object to put in my portfolio. I’m not going to pretend there isn’t overlap there like if I had to kind of draw it out (in more ways than one haha)...
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So theres a lot of push and pull between factors. Its VERY common for artists to have shows they enjoyed working on that they wouldn’t personally enjoy watching and vice versa. And for me personally? I’m a glass half full kind of guy so even amongst mixed feelings I tend to focus on the good parts and I've liked almost every show I've worked on, come out feeling pretty good about my work almost all the time. 
I’m lucky though. I’ve never had to stay at a job with truly heinous working conditions. I’ve always had the privilege of enough resources (savings, parents house to fall back on, etc) to quit and find something new which is something not all people have. 
And I guess I would feel weird/bad about my work if it turned out to be used for like… a horrendous hate crime or something? Like if god forbid I ended up somehow…presumably accidentally?? working on the 21st century’s version of Birth of a Nation???? But (knock on wood) I like to think the chances of that in animation are pretty slim LOL or at the very least I'd be able to see the red flags ahead of time and get out of there…. one of the good/lame things about mass media is that it’s supremely moderate like it can’t be transgressive or radical (on either end of the political spectrum) or else it risks losing profit. And on top of that, animation is one of the least spontaneous storytelling mediums. just by nature of how much coordination and planning that has to be done ahead of time for something as simple as moving a character across the screen. Backgrounds in particular are relatively middle-late in the animation pipeline. every show runs a little differently but normally by the time we're working on bgs the story, boards, and characters are like... 70-90% locked in? So it’s pretty rare to be working on a show only to later be surprised by whats on screen when it airs.
I do know that south park turns on a dime and makes episodes slapdash in like one week but uh I like to think they're the exception not the rule LOL. most western animation will take about a year per ep from outline to final export.
anyways thanks for sending a thoughtful ask as opposed to something patronizing or obnoxiously leading like "im so sorry you had to work on such a shitty show" which ive been getting a bit of lately.
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comvi · 7 months
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Chief is necttt "Whats with the...wraps?"
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^shitty image i know. Chief is a leader for a tribe of 7 scavengers, only being identified by the white body and green mask. having a spear with a red wrap on it. Chief is whisperers current friend. being friends after whisperer scared off lizards from his tribe area. Chief is pretty brutal but attempts to talk to whisperer as a normal person. here are some highlights from their convo (lucky was a baby btw.) "Where ya from?" "Island in the sky, mother never told me the name though." "...What about yer dad?" "He died." "im so sor-" "No bitch dont even fucking bother. my mother taught me more about how to be a normal fucking person then all of you motherfuckers." whisperer accidently blowing up on him for no reason "What about yer..tail?" "Everyone has asked me that, look i was born like that okay?" "Do they... do anything?" "Not answering...yes they do glow at night. moving on." chief hiding something from whisperer so he does not freak out. "How about the straps?" "stuff for things to carry...my knife...my pencils...my notebook... and my bag on my tail." "Whats a notebook?" "Thing you draw and write in." "Oh, we do that but on walls. can i have one?" "No i dont have anymore." "Thing around your neck...looks nice." "NICE PEOPLE AT LAsT!" -random bits from a appearance investigation. after their encounter scavs know whisperer as "the talking one." Chief does not know anything about sliver. Nor voice of course. Chief never saw lucky as a threat, even while full grown. Character notes: Whisperers notes: "Horned thing, pretty cool. kept interrogating me so i left though." Luckys pondering: "My dads friend! they vvery small...ithink they are smart like my dad!" sliver eyed's boon: "W-WHATAREYOU!-Whats..hedoing...with the..slug?" Voice has no comment since. hes just proud that whisperer made a friend.
SCAV I WAS RIGHT!!! and the leader, even better!!!
and Whisperer FINALLY has a friend that is a tiny-bit-more-normal™, ofcourse still as you said “brutal”, so that still makes Chief fit the theme of the rest but WHATEVER. New Friend!! Either way!!
its funny to me how scavs like Chief don’t normally like lizards (due to their inherent aggression, atleast towards them) but still doesnt and has never minded, and almost seems to have a liking to, Lucky! obviously heavily for reasons such as, Lucky being able to efficiently communicate much more, if not completely compared to other lizards, but still i’d like to think maybe Chief just, instinctually knew the moment he saw Lucky, that they were a good one. not there to (intentionally) harm anyone.
+PLUS ++PLUS !!!! QUESTION FROM BEFORE WAS SLIGHTLY ANSWERED TODAY…. The way silver (eyed) said “slug” was very strange to me, and was almost said in a way that implies that they are not a slug themselves. now questions just: if not a slug, then what??
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petscrub · 1 year
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i’ve been very slowly cutting things out of my life. i kinda feel bare right now in the sense that im very lonely and stagnant, not much going on, but im still open to vulnerability, change, and creation. i keep thinking about my future lately. i was doing pretty good at living in the moment but i have this creeping feeling that i need to figure some stuff out... 
i’m not really sure about music anymore. i find it enjoyable to make. im proud of myself for what ive done, even if it is kinda shitty. ive heard myself grow musically and vocally over the past year. and im like this with painting as well. ive seen that ive grown a bit, but i still find what i make pretty mediocre. and im fair with myself, i realize ive only been doing these things for a very short amount of time. 
the thing about painting is that with the process, its not something i always enjoy. sometimes i get the urge to start and then i do it and im like im not even having fun. like the motivation is there but the joy is not. i dont really get it tbh. i decided maybe the way i was approaching it and the techniques i was using was probably what was making it so burdensome. i have yet to try my new approach (which is a much more messy and flowing style) because ive been so busy with work and ive had absolutely no days off. luckily this week i have a bunch of time and im excited to do some art. 
on the other hand, ive been writing my novel pretty steadily. almost everyday, but not quite. sometimes its a bit difficult to get into the mood but once i do i can write for awhile. especially on the train i find it pretty easy, and then i get to my stop and im disappointed because i wanted more time to write.
AND THEN, im working on fashion. i spread myself a little too thin, i think. the thing about fashion and writing is that they are both things that come very naturally to me. (unlike painting, and even less with music.) painting is something that i struggle with and i know i am decent at drawing, but when it comes to music, im completely in the dark with it. vocally, musically, structurally. i could of course teach myself, but i think the whole overwhelms me. its a lot to learn and do and while i feel excited about it at times i cant tell if its because i feel like i need to do it because of an identity thing, or if i genuinely really love it. most of the time i think i do it because im like, well wouldnt be really cool to be an musician and have an album and music videos and perform? and like right now, yeah, that does sound fun as hell. but occasionally i will feel indifferent. or like its just not for me.
but back to fashion, im enjoying it, as little work as ive put into it. i want more time to work on it because what i have done ive enjoyed. i think the thing that triggers all these thoughts in me so often is capitalism... in an ideal world id have all the time to do everything i want, and no pressure at all to feel like i need to do things because of money, success, etc... i could just do them because i love them. its extremely hard for me to see past the capitalist lens. i want to be able to tell if something is right for me or if im just coming about it wrong. over the years my ocd mind has been so plagued by this way of thinking that i feel like ive hardly gotten anything done at all. im really tired of it, honestly. the only good part is that ive crossed a bunch of stuff off my list of things that i thought were right for me but actually arent. like acting for example, ive fully decided that isnt for me, lol.
anyway. i just needed to share and i forgot my journal at home so i had no other place to put all this.
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shittyness · 2 years
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thanks @neonwizardheehee for the tag!
my answers:
what book are you currently reading?
I’m reading all of us villains by Amanda Foody and Christine Lynn Herman! It’s pretty good so far!
what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?
Im also going to do for 2022, I didn’t see many movies in theaters, but I liked doctor strange multiverse of madness!
what do you usually wear?
I normally wear jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoodie
how tall are you?
Taller then Ryan (5’7)
what’s your Star Sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? 
I’m a Scorpio! I share a birthday with Emma stone, sometimes it’s Election Day, and it’s the day after supernatural ended
do you go by your name or nickname?
I prefer nicknames, but I don’t have many now
I’ve gotten called shitty a couple times here
did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?
No I wanted to be the president and a firefighter (at the same time) now I’m gonna be a lawyer (close enough, plus I still have time)
are you in a relationship? if not who is your crush if you have one?
No, I’m on tumblr what do you think /j
what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?
Cooking and baking 
dogs or cats?
Cats! I have three! but I do like dogs too!
If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?
Nothing I’m extremely proud of, my pearl and Scott double life post got a bit of traction so that’s fun
what’s something you would like to create content for?
I like the Minecraft smps I theorize about occasionally 
what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?
Everything I can connect back to Evo! (That’s: Evo, life series, empires, hermitcraft, and probably more)
What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? 
Halloween my friends flaked on me and my dad forced his wife and my sister to go out with us (I was the only one who wanted to go)
what’s a hidden talent of yours?
I’m pretty good at identifying flavors!
are you religious?
Not really. I was raised Catholic, but I don’t like a lot of the ideals. Plus I don’t like the idea that only one religion is correct
whats something you wish to have at this moment?
I don’t know, my sister got me a sign from cane’s, I want all my friends to sign it
sadly some of you guys are only phone friends
people I wanna tag (you don’t have to tag anyone! Just for fun!)
@cyanroads (whenever you’re back) @joeydrewstudios and @fearforthestorm
(if you don’t like doing these, don’t feel obligated to do it! This is just for fun)
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kissitbttr · 2 years
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eddie munson dating a mean fem!cheerleader who’s only nice to him <3
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“sorry I didn’t hear you bitch, what?!”
the loud bang and voice causes the conversations amongst the cafeteria starts to quiet down. all heads turning to the source where the voice coming from. including eddie, who has his eyes bug out like a kid getting caught sneaking his hand into the cookie jar. immediately knowing who that voice belongs to.
it’s you.
you have your hand on a somegirl’s head, pressing it against an empty table. it draws so many peoples attention with their terrified expressions written on their faces. some of them are even whispering to each other wether or not to help the poor girl out and take you away, but they know better than to upset you.
“dude… you should go there” dustin leans over to eddie with a soft whisper, as if he’s afraid that you’ll hear him. “she’s gonna kill her.”
“eh” he munches on his fries, a proud smirk plasters across his face, eyes never leaving you. “let her. she’s fucking hot when she gets feisty.”
dustin gapes at him, “what kind of boyfriend would let their girlfriend kill another girl?!”
“me” he simply answers, feeling himself growing more turned on when he watches you furrow your brows in anger and teeth gritting, while putting your mouth close to the girl’s ear, threatening her more.
oh he’s definitely fucking you from behind later,
“I-im sorry” the blonde girl chokes out, her eyes are shut in fear and body won’t stop shaking due to your rough grip around her shitty ponytail. “i promise … p-please-“
“yeah, you promise right? because if i saw you do what you did again, i will fucking come for you, you stupid fuck” you harshly say against her ear, throwing her shaking body to the floor, earning loud gasps from around. “racist bitch.”
with that, you fix your skirt and sleek your messy hair back and turn around. seeing a bunch of bewildered looks on students making you scoff and roll your eyes. “the fuck are you guys looking at? go do something!”
in seconds, the crowd begins to break. not giving you nor the girl laying on the floor any more attention. though the tension is still there.
you begin to scan through the crowd, trying to find your boyfriend. and the moment you lock eyes with him, your frown is replaced with a bright smile, squealing as you hurriedly walk over to his table in your gogo boots. he instantly stands from his seat, mirroring your expression with his arms wide open.
"puddin!" you call, quickly jumping onto him.
"hi baby" he chuckles, keeping a tight grip around your waist. "quite a show you put on there" he nods to the crying girl.
"oh, that?" you innocently point out, "well she did something bad so I had to talk to her."
he sits back down in his chair, patting his lap for you. "talked? think you did more than that, sweetheart."
"oh well." you shrug, crossing your legs as you keep your arms around his shoulder, playing with his chocolate curls. "she deserved it."
"what did she do?" gareth pipes in, glancing down at your exposed thighs. gulping as he begins to check you out.
unfortunately, eddie notices, frowning in disappointment. "hey! eyes off my girl you little shit" he warns, pointing a finger at him. glaring at the curly-headed fellow.
gareth's eyes widen, face turning red in embarrassment as he looks away making you giggle.
"oh don't worry about him gar-bear. he's just a little protective." you cup eddie's cheeks, turning him to look at you. "you're still my man, baby." you plant a kiss on his lips, causing the table to groan in disgust.
"oh shut up. if you had a hot piece of ass for a girlfriend like y/n. you'd let her do whatever she wants to you." eddie slaps your ass a bit, making you jump.
"yeah yeah, you have a girlfriend now. we get it." mike waves him off, eyes rolling. "you didn't answer the question, y/n."
"what? oh yeah! she was making fun of your club. and said some very very offensive remarks about eddie and lucas." you shrug, twirling one of eddie's locks. "I had to do something, obviously. can't let that bitch get away with what she said. i had to get physical."
"it was?" eddie's heart begins to warm. never in his life had someone defended him like that. "oh sweetcheeks, you didn't have to."
"uhm, yes i did have to." you reply in an obvious tone, "you mean a lot to me. and I know these guys and the club mean so much to you, baby. so that makes them important to me as well."
“i fucking love you, you know that?” he sighs dreamily, tucking away the loose curl from your face. “if i could take you right here-“
the hellfire kids immediately groan, covering their ears as they complain to their ‘master’ about his sexual implication. hearing that only makes you laugh even more and for eddie to roll his eyes back.
“woah woah dude, not at lunch please. it’s gross.”dustin begs, shaking his head in disgust as he points down at the meal.
“well” you start, biting your lip while standing up. “i saw chem class is free, you wanna go there with me so we can-” you’re immediately cut off by eddie jumping off from his seat right away nearly tipping the chair down. eyes wide in excitement as he nods vigorously
“yes. fuck yes. i need you right now, you don’t need to ask” he desperately begins, hands wrapped around your waist as the go down to squeeze your ass. not caring that people are probably watching. “think i can get you off in fifteen, baby?”
“i like to see you try” you purr, batting your lashes at him. “because i’m planning to get you off in ten.”
he lets out his shaky sigh“jesus fuck- i gotta go guys. move the meeting later after school.” he turns to say to his friends while grabbing your arms tight and rushes away with you who’s giggling like crazy.
“what- no! eddie!” dustin calls out his name, watching the two lovebirds disappear from the cafeteria. he sighs in frustrations, hands on his hips as he hears the piles of complaints coming from the guys.
“fucking horn dogs”
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aenniesryu · 4 years
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tsukikage middle school exes
tsukishima kei and kageyama tobio. both in their first year of high school and are also teammates since they played in the same vb team for their school
ofc everyone is well aware of the fact that these two kind of hated each other. not that it was an obvious fact to begin with since ever from the beginning the two would constantly bicker and throwing insults at one another
however, that was it. that was the only thing everyone knows about the two. the team even had to separate the two of them when things escalated quickly just to make sure none of them will started to throw fits
no one knows the actual reason as to why they would bicker every so often. the team just thought that the two have so different perceptions towards volleyball that makes them so hard to get along with
the team did tried to help them to get along but it just ended up with them constantly at each others throat arguing about whatever it is
what the team actually didnt know is that tsukishima and kageyama once dated back then in their middle school days.
so basically the entire thing going on between those two were just them being salty because of 1) the break up and also 2) their mindset when it comes to volleyball
tsukishima and kageyama once dated before despite them not attending the same school
but, both were living in the same neighbourhood and their houses were basically next to each other making it easier for them to constantly see each other
however, that was a year ago before kageyama's family decided to move to another neighbourhood
no, the break up was not because of them moving because they would still see each other if they put more efforts in it
the break up on the other hand was because of this one major thing. it was a silly reason but nevertheless it was the thing that made them broke up and that thing is volleyball
yes, volleyball. even tho both were playing for their respective teams back in middle school, their perspective when it comes to volleyball differs too much.
kageyama being the volleyball freak he is would just spent most of his times practicing his serve. even on the weekends. tsukishima, however didnt really took it seriously when it comes to volleyball ever since it was just a club anyway, right?
with kageyama spending more and more time with his practice, tsukishima was left alone. they barely even get to meet each other because of them being in different schools and then kageyama's free time was now full with volleyball alone
tsukishima might felt a lil bit jealous since kageyama, his boyfriend at that time would constantly talked about oikawa. it's always oikawa this and oikawa that. he knows kageyama only meant no harm and hes just looking up onto his senior who plays really well.
tsukishima was fine with that. yeah, he really does because never once did he ever tell kageyama to shut up whenever he talks about oikawa.
what was not fine was that kageyama spent the only free time they had on volleyball. it was the only time that they would be able to hang out and go outside but suddenly it stopped. no more seeing each other, no more dates and no more talking to each other
yes, kageyama did tell him over and over again that he feels sorry and that he just needs to prepare himself to be the best for their team
tsukishima did understand him but as time passed by, tsukishima became selfish. well that's what he thought. hes tired of waiting. he shouldn't be blamed when all he wanted was for his boyfriend attention
then 2 months before the very important match for kageyama, tsukishima went and break things off. and just like that they are no longer boyfriends or friends
kageyama moving to another neighbourhood just make things a lil bit easier since they wont be seeing each other anymore after the break up
"What the fck was that kageyama?" Tsukishima is now in rage with his once called boyfriend. They were in the middle of a practice match where they were divided into two different teams and just to make them work along together and maybe become friends, coach ukai and daichi thought it would be the best to put them into the same group. Oh how wrong they were because now they are fight again.
"I just did what's the best for the team. All you need to do is jump a lil bit higher than usual for that toss. you are already tall enough, make sure of it for once" kageyama was surprisingly calm when he said that but only god knows how scared he felt whenever tsukishima raised his voice at him because he got irritated. it wasnt a pleasant sight to see and get into especially when tsukishima is dmn mad. like the situation they are in now.
"yes my height alone is enough and that is why, you as the setter should take in mind that I would perfectly score if you just tossed me the ball right at where my hand can reach. making me go through all the hard work just to reach that fcking ball you threw is just wasting my energy" tsukishima is really not having it. not only did kageyama sent him a high ball, hes also pissed that kageyama made him wasted his energy in jumping higher than he normally do.
"excuse me? I'm just doing what's the best for the team. I'm taking out that fcking capability that you have in you that you decides to freaking hide and toss it away, just because you think putting an effort even the slightest of it into the match is a waste of your time" now kageyama started to boiled up. he knows that tsukishima has a lot of talent when it comes to volleyball, he knows that really well. perks of being his boyfriend throughout their middle school years. well honestly kageyama thinks tsukishima is just wasting his talent with his kind of mindset.
everyone at the gym are just staring and listening to them arguing. daichi was closed to tear them apart and continue with the practice match, but before he can do that sugawara stop him. daichi was not having it but sugawara had something else in mind. he thinks that maybe them arguing this time would make the rest of the team to get a grip on what making them argue in the first place. and maybe the truth would unfold without them needing to ask tsukishima and kageyama. coach ukai seems to have the same thoughts too since he make no moves in stopping them. so the team just understands and silently look at them and wait for more.
"I dont get your obsession with drawing the team's talent or whatsoever because you ended up getting more demanding. I thought you were a setter. didnt setter usually can already feel his teammates thoughts? im here just doing what I have to do during practice and waiting for it to end like it always did but you? you just have to screw up everything. im already tired but you clearly didnt see that! just what kind of a setter who acted like a dictator and yet hes not even the leader of the team? tell me!" tsukishima yelled his frustration out. he wants this to end just so he can go back to his house and do whatever he finds interesting. and basically volleyball is not one of them.
kageyama didnt said anything after that. he felt bad and all the memories from when his old team abandoned him during a play starter clouding his mind. to make it worse he's on the verge of breaking down. his eyes are filled with tears but he held them back. hearing those things from someone you love didnt really felt the greatest.
"what? now you decided to stayed silent? why? just realizing how my words are true and theres no point in denying it? did you ever just sit back and think about how your shitty your attitude is in court? about how tired your teammates felt trying to satisfy you? this is literally the reason why your old teammate decided to abandoned you in the middle of the match. because you are so demanding and it stresses them out more than the actual game is" just when he finished saying what he needed to say, kageyama slap him. when tsukishima turn to see him, kageyama is already crying.
"YOU! out of all people in this world should know how important volleyball is to me. you should've known that theres literally nothing I can do aside from volleyball. you shouldn't have said that if you know what I went through the entire year. and then at the end? what did I get? I get abandoned. not only by my teammates but I was also abandoned by my own family. just to make things even worse, you fcking break up with me at the times when I needed you the most kei. the one person i thought that would always stay by my side. but you didn't even listen to the shit I have to tell you because you completely shut me off. I went through every single thing alone. All by myself. I practice alone, think of the best strategies for my own team on my own because I was pressured AND threatened by the coach, I came back to an empty house and freaking live alone. theres no one I can even call and relied to!! I cant even call the person I love because hes sick of me. all I ever wanted was people to appreciate my efforts even tho it's only in volleyball. I wanted YOU to be proud of me above anything else because I cant reach your level when it comes to academic. I wanted to be perfect for you and all I ever wanted was for people around me to be proud of me for the one thing I'm capable of but all I get is people abandoning me!!"
silence. theres no sound can be heard in the gym aside from kageyama's heavy breathing. everyone is just stunned with the sudden confession. not only did they just heard kageyama's biggest fear but they also heard the part where he mentioned about their break up. tsukishima and kageyama were a thing before? they were dating? since when?"
"tobio-" tsukishima breaks the silence. hes panicking but he didn't know what do to because everything is just too sudden and all he can think of is how shitty of a boyfriend he was during the time that they were dating. thats what his brain has been saying. after all never once did he ever asked how kageyama was feeling. he was indeed selfish and everything is all his fault. if only he stayed-
kageyama seems to snapped back into reality when he heard tsukishima called him by his given name. he panicked. he just spilled everything in front of the team.
"i-im sorry. I should just go home. I'm really sorry you guys have to witness such a pity side of myself" kageyama chuckled and wipe his tears. "coach, i would like to take a break from the team for the time being. again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I'll see you guys later" and with that kageyama walked out of the gym ignoring his teammates eyes and the calls.
"what the hell just happened" tanaka said as the argument really is tensed and they literally just heard something that is kept secret between tsukishima and kageyama.
"tsuki, you and kageyama-" yamaguchi said softly as to not add any more anger in tsukishima. after all tsukishima kind of had an anger issue.
"ugh fuck, yes we did." tsukishima sigh. theres really nothing he can do. everyone knows and they probably think its his fault anyways. but the team has the opposite thoughts than him
"I honestly dont know what to say" sugawara said to him. he really wanted to help but it's not in his power to do so. all he can do is give them advice.
"ha, no need. I already know it's my fault. you guys can blame me. I would gladly accept it"
"What? No" were the replies he get from his team members. he was clueless coz after all kageyama wouldnt turn into a tyrant if only he stayed and didnt leave.
"we didnt blame you. both of you were young that time it was just normal for you to feel he loved you less. but you two lack in communication which leads to this whole entire mess. idk what you two went through and how long you've been together, it's not my business. but, all I can say is that you two need some closure. and clearly none of you even moved on from the past. arguing with each other every other day isnt the healthiest way to cope with the break up. just please sort this out with him. hes in pain and so are you." enoshita who has been quite the entire time decided to speak up. he do got a point especially with that lack communication between tsukishima and kageyama. sooner or later he needed to settle this whole mess before it started to drag the entire team. kageyama is the regular player in their team, and even with sugawara who can replace him as a setter, kageyama really is needed in the team. hinata also needed kageyama.
"I know I'm the last person you want to hear this from.. but tsukishima please bring kageyama back to the team. I needed him. the team too. and I think you needed him too. so please, I will do whatever it takes to help get him back into the team" hinata cried out. after all they were the freaky duo. they relied more on one another.
"but didnt kageyama only asked to take a break? it's not like he would just quit" nishinoya chipped in. "indeed he said that, but we are not sure on how long would the break be. it can be days, weeks, months and even years." coach ukai reasoned.
"let's just stop here. you guys can go home now. I will cancel tomorrow's practice so please just take a good rest. We'll continue our practice on the day after that. And you tsukishima" coach ukai added and turn to look at tsukishima with a soft look. It was a rare sight to see but they know it's for the best
"yes?"
"idk what you are planning to do. whether you sort things out and talk to kageyama or you didnt do anything about it is up to you. just clear out your minds whenever you came intl practice. we already less in one member, we didnt need to lose another one"
"thank you coach!"
listen, idek what I'm doing but I'm just gonna post this even tho I know it was bad because honestly when I reread this I felt truly nothing lmao but my friend said it was good/okay idk dont really trust her but hey, the very least I can do is post this here so I can move on(?) welp, enjoy ig.
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nulfaga · 3 years
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1,4,5,6 for the writer asks
Im gonna start readmoring these cause they get long </33
1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?
ok i'm in a bind here because i've chosen not to tell a living soul abt my 2 original projects until they're done-ish, my 2 other projects are fatally embarrassing, and the last one is the neneldi/lucien one that i don't want to spoil LMAO
what i can say abt the latter one is that i'm about halfway done? and what i love abt it...i love getting to a point where my characters are so established in my own head that it feels like im writing for my own cinematic universe lmao (even if it is technically still fic) - like to the point where i could happily spend my time just making this character and that character interact or exploring this and that time period in their collective history. i take it as inspiration, as in ONE DAY i will get to the same point with my original stuff, it'll be just as fun except better because i own the IP and i can Literally do what i want <333 like a non shitty wilbur fox. writing abt the same family for 50 years
4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)
this is so hard FHDSJKFDHSJK i feel like i'm not the kind of writer that writes paragraphs that are jewels on their own lmao....it's more like, if i'm proud of something it's bc it drives home a certain theme or resolves a point of tension or something. but.
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so this is from a kind of old and bad dragon's dogma fic but to this day i'm really pleased w/ the tone. both the tone of the game's dialogue overall (this kind of stilted Ye Olde Englisch that was very fun to write) but also the narration by my arisen (ikaro) who was just this extremely guileless, honest, innocent voice. like i feel like this is one of very few characters i've written where you can read their narration and INSTANTLY be like ah yes this is X speaking
5. What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?
this is super weak but i feel like i have to identify at least a little with all of them. like if i can't see where a character is coming from (regardless of how horrible they are) there's no way of writing them :')
in terms of "i would totally sit down for coffee with this character" probably tatianus in his vampire era because of the unhingedness. he's perfectly capable of holding a civil conversation (if a little neurotic) but there's this rising undercurrent of desperation...like by skyrim times (as we've seen) you can literally sit him down and be like. life story. deepest regrets. what was your childhood like. go. and he'd be like "well, complete stranger, since you asked"
(the real answer to this question is that orph and neneldi came into being specifically because i was struggling with my own fatness/mixedness/gnc-ness and it was nice to be like, THESE TRAITS EXIST IN FANTASY DRAGON LAND SO THERE. but besides that aura of spite & defiance around their existence i don't think there's any more of me in them than in any other character)
6. What character do you have the most fun writing?
what comes easiest to me is characters that have a very developed sense of irony (tatianus & orpheus are Extremely this) and feel compelled to draw connections between everything and make snarky remarks. which is super fun (if you use self control and do not enter j.ss wh.don territory) but i need to work on being able to turn it off. like a LOT of the editing process of true gold was just me going back and being like no no. gem is not this much of a god damn smartass. my instinct is always to go "the weather was bright and sunny, which was kind of perfectly antithetical to her mood" SHUT UP. "the weather was sunny." DONE.
i've found this exercise very helpful! like first make the observation, THEN decide how many pointless layers of irony the narrator is on
(which is also why i'm proud of the ikaro bit in q.4 because i feel like i had some success in "turning it off" for the duration lol)
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ibuki-loves-you · 3 years
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My grades are horrible and I don’t know what to do anymore I have important exams coming up and I can’t even remember half of shit we learned I’m already the failure of the family academic wise I’m not even out of high school yet and they’re all telling me that I won’t be accepted anywhere I still have junior and senior year left I’m horrified that they’re right and that I won’t be accepted into college because of how much of a lazy shitty student I am
I’m already exhausted by waking up to repeat the days over and over and over again I used to really enjoy doing art and I still do but at the moment it just feels like another weight added on by family my father says I’m wasting my potential by only sometimes doing assignments for art class and not drawing all the time like I used to but I started writing and it makes me feel at least somewhat better but then I end up writing instead of doing assignments I need to get my shit in order so I can at least try to end this garbage year with okay grades (I’m a solid C student) just gotta do amazing on those exams especially the AP one that’s the one that haunts me
I think I might take a break from tumblr and writing at least until I can get my F’s to C’s (if that’ll ever happen) sorry for this long ass vent but I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this (besides my therapist once a week) I’m really tired mentally and physically even though I don’t do anything all day besides sit and lay down and pace for a bit while thinking that I’m going to amount to nothing despite all the work I’ve put in on just staying alive and not being physically self destructive
Sorry again for the vent, I really am!
full disclosure, im in the same position. i gave up to be honest. i cant focus long enough to retain information. but my history teacher gave me a piece of very valuable advice and i think everyone needs to hear this. GRADES DO NOT DEFINE YOU! you can have crappy grades and be accepted into college and have a good future (hell my teacher did.)
i completely understand this whole vent to be honest. please do what makes you comfortable. if you want to draw, draw! if you want to write, write! take a break? go for it! whatever is best for you!! and dont let anyone tell you otherwise!
i also wanna say im really proud of you. its okay if you lay around all day hell thats all i do. completely valid! please continue to stay alive. youre awesome <3
also do not be sorry for venting!! i have no problem listening. i may not be the best of help, but i will try my best. if you want to talk more privately, my dms are open!! - mod ibuki
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robinisaghost · 3 years
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animatic ideas :0 (ramble away, i would love to hear them!!)
mk thank you for enabling me, i will now be yelling
anyway
this is gonna be so obnoxiously long i am so sorry
can you add read more's on asks? eeeekkkk because this got so damn long lmao
mild dsmp spoilers obviously
this is the playlist, by the way
-im sorry boris (wilbur soot)
i think it would work really well with mmm slightly post lmanburg niki. andby slightly i mean. well when she leaves (that is the whole thing of the song gdfjkhgsdf) also side note at like 1 minute 11 on that song theres a discord notification really subtly in the background and it makes me paranoid every time i hear it. anyway god its such a nice song. even for just like. the end of lmanburg. not necesarily paired with a character, just the sense of leaving a place that was so highly populated before it got blown up twice and was like. the main part of the smp. yeah. anyway also the lines "they'll knock down the pubs before helping you...they'll let you jump under trains before helping you" yeah those four lines have big niki vibes but also i think the song could work well with exile tommy or actually even with the finale when tubbo is about to sacrifice himself? mmmmm yeah
-this is home (cavetown)
mmmm got exile tommy vibes innit. a lot of these have exile tommy vibes tbf i just like sad songs and also exile tommy. plus the song has a lot of like. the message is sort of like. changing yourself to appeal to others? like with "ill cut my hair to make you stare" but also the repeated thing of "ill figure out a way to get us out of here" which is clearly the main character of the song trying to help everyone when they are clearly not in a good way themself. yeah thats got big tommy vibes in general tbh but more like. pre finale tommy. i think he got a bit more independant after that.
-soldier poet king (the oh hellos)
ok this is self explanatory and has been done to death already but d a m n its kinda funky. anyway i had thoughts and actually started this but then lost motivation and deleted it all lmaooo. the only proof of its existance is a shitty storyboard in my draw which will hopefully never see the light of day again (unless anyone wants to see it :eyes:) anyway i had the thought of like. sbi? so soldier techno poet wilbur and king tommy. but tbf tommy and techno are kinda interchangeable with that, cos while techno is obviously the better fighter, tommy is used a lot, especially in lmanberg era and also i think he probably will be now that wilburs back
-pyjama pants (cavetown)
ok so i honestly dont remember why this is on the playlist but tbf this could go well with a bunch of characters. thinking like. phil and wilbur? or wil and tommy, or tubbo and ranboo are two that like. i know for a fact that i did not put the song on the playlist specifically for them but god thinking about it now it works so well with them
-boys will be bugs (cavetown)
OH BOY THERES A LOT OF CAVETOWN ON HERE HUH (i feel like that probably says something about me but shhhhhh we dont need to talk about that) ANYWAY
I think this could probably work really well with tommy? because of the whole like. trying really hard to come across as not caring about others, but really being like. very vunerable. but at the same time it could go really well with wilbur for the same reasons. also the song fucks ok cant deny it. to be fair i think it works better with tommy, because he's younger and also he really likes bugs (unless i am mistaken) which is just a cool coincidence but still)
-brother (kodaline)
FUCKKKKKKKKKKK THIS WORKS SO WELL WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS AND IS ALSO ***SO ANGSTY*** WHAT
anyway
i added it because of tommy and tubbo because holy shit, but also it could work very very well with wilbur and tommy, techno and wilbur, probably techno and tommy, and oh my god i just thought of this but this would work so well with phil and techno!!!! but yeah i originally thought tommy and tubbo because i thought it was a funny coincidence with exile tommy waking up underwater, and theres a line that says "if you were drowned at sea, id give you my lungs so you could breathe" and like. just thinking about the compasses especially. me gusta.
-feel better (penelope scott)
fundy. that is all.
no ok this works well with fundy but also probably karl sapnap and quackity, and also very much wilbur, like it works well with both. just mainly fundy idk why its got big fundy vibes tho. very poggers.
-as the world caves in (matt maltese)
ok but like this goes very very well with the explosions of lamberg. either of them. i think probably the first one is better, but i think it goes well with both. probably the first one, because it was way more emotional i think? cos it was the first time that their homes had been destroyed and everything, but also because it was so personal, because wilbur was the one who did it. i think that also it would work well if it was set during the explosion but also focussed on different facets? so like. one bit about wilburs perspective, one bit about tommys, one about phils, one about fundys maybe? idk just a bunch of lmaburg citizens' povs for this. its good. as the world caves in is a song that can be so gender tbh.
-do you hear the people sing? (les mis)
obvious obvious obvious...... but like..... also tbh it goes well with a bunch of things. like, mmmmm wilbur in pogtopia. the butcher army. lmaburg independance war (obviously ghdskj) but yeah. also this song just goes so hard like b r u h
-wolf in sheeps clothing (set it off, william beckett)
SO MANY OF THESE ARE LIKE. PRETTY OBVIOUS IF YOUVE HEARD THE SONG
but yeah. it would go so well with like. well any betrayal basically. so eret, from tommys pov maybe, or about wilbur from nikis pov, or wilbur from anyone pov tbf, or quackity from charlie/purpled/foolish/sams pov, or sam from tommys pov, really it works well with so many people which says a lot about the characters tbh but shhhhhhhhhhhh
-need you here (idkhow)
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
mk mk mk mk FUNDY AND WILBUR THO
like b r u h that works so well with them
also i started this one as well but didnt like it, theres a story board in my draw as well for it because like. oh my god its such a good idea i just am shit at animating and don't have a decent enough program :')
also also
the line "daddy has to go, and that makes me sad, but daddy will always come back, he promised" fuckkkkkk that works so well with like. say for example, idk, when they're celebrating schlatts death and wilbur leaves to press the button? the sheer fucking angst of that is enough to kill any one person istg that is in fact the entire reason why i started the animatic in the first place. just that line. also all the lines sung by the child voice. fuckin angsty as hell. also ust generally a banging song, as is every idkhow song
-green (cavetown)
another cavetown song huh. ok sure.
mk so wilbur and sally and fundy. like. for a start, the imagry of a fish at the start? boom sally.
anyway the lines "you looked so good in green, i hope you're well, and you look so good with him, (schlatt ig?) and I'm proud of you still (wilburrrr and fundyyyy) i miss your perfect teeth, i was too blunt, i hope you feel happy, that's all I want"
FUCKKKK
the whole song is about missing someone you used to love and only hoping the best for them!!!! and wishing that they are happy and safe!!!!!!!!!!! and hoping they still think about you!!!!! but even if they dont its fine because all you want is for them to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-achilles come down (gang of youths)
OK I THOUGHT IT COULDNT GET ANGSTIER
so like. tw suicide but thats what the entire song is about and bing bang boom i just think it works so so so so so so so well with not only exile tommy (who obviously did try to kill himself) but also wilbur in a slightly more metaphorical way? so like. his self destructive habits leading him to a point where he had no choice other than to kill himself and to take his country down with him. and its all about other characters trying to help them and persuade them not to but also near the end there is a second voice trying to persuade them to go along with it, which im thinking like. if its wilbur, either dream or maybe just himself. his own brain persuading him to continue down the path that would inevitably lead to his and his countries destruction. also it works well with schlatt for the same reasons, except he doesnt want to die. maybe (since the song is so goddamn long) like. one verse for tommy one for wilbur and one for schlatt? dead gang poggg but also like. the verses cover fairly different things which work with one character but not so much the others, for example the first verse would be tommy because its mainly about persuading the person to not kill themself (which tommy did himself but shhh) the second for schlatt because its literally about drinking and smoking away your problems, and the third for wilbur since its more of a fight between the "good" and the "bad" sides, which is obviously what wilbur was experiencing. also obviously i have a soft spot for this song because its string instruments and french, basically my favourite combination ever (also i like his voice idfk lmao)
ANYWAY THATS ALL THE SONGS ON THERE SO FAR
i literally thought of another song while i was in the shower today but i dont remember which it was but a n y w a y the playlist will most definitely be getting longer, especially since there are so many more songs that are good for this but i just havent added them yet lmao. anyway ive been writing this for like an hour gsdfjhgdhfsg but still oh my god this was fun to write
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oh-no-whoopsie · 4 years
Text
reasons I love kip!! (aka @ghostsingold) 
(making this post bc they deserve all the love and my meds have kicked in so im able to be productive today. thanks long-acting adderall!!) 
kip I love you for so many reasons and as I fill out college applications im gonna list them out <3 no special occasion its just! you make me happy and I wanted to share that with you and since I have a teeny blog no one will see this but you <3 
1.) this response to a post I made on my old blog. it was one of my first positive interactions on Tumblr and this tiny piece of writing made that entire week easier. it was a tiny start to a friendship and it was also a stranger caring for me, which at that time I didn’t think was possible. 
2.) every single time that they have been a part of the Brown Eye Stan Club and hyped up brown eyes,,,,dude I can’t you’ve been such a big part of the journey to accept my brown eyes. it means so much to me that you just? say it!! you’re proud of the fact you love brown eyes! hell yeah dude! thank you!
3a.) for sending me songs that remind you of me??? to have someone think of me?? MY HEART?? I- I can’t express how much it means to me I just,, hnnhhh you even made me a fucking playlist (which I listen to CONSTANTLY) (here is the playlist ) just. dude. I love you 
4.) one of those songs is Glitter & Gloss by Skott and 
          a) this song makes me feel like a fucking badass 
          b) made me feel so appreciated and loved because it was the first time someone had said “this song reminds me of you!” 
          c). when I was stalking your blog trying to find my old posts I found this post about that song and?? sunbeams through Spanish moss? trees? pretty?? is this how you see me?? im in love????? also this ask I sent you where you describe your love for the sun <3 the implication that I am even a little bit like the sun to you makes me wanna cry happiness 
5.) Your taste in music is SUPERB. IMPECCABLE. A DELIGHT. 
6.) Someday I will have the strength to do naniwrimo with you and that will be a glorious month (and next September we should be able to be writing buddies!!!!! because now I have meds for attention span so I can write again >:) ) 
7.) A long time ago (old blog) I asked for people to give me nicknames because I never got cute nicknames and because I could only ever insult myself. for the longest time I forgot what you said but I remembered!!!! it was birdie!!
          a). even though now most people call me doe cuz of bumblebee, you were the first person to reply to that post and just because milk suggested fawn/doe and it stuck doesn’t mean I love birdie any less 
          b.) it means a lot that you suggested it in the first place and while I was finding links for this post I came across this ask where you call me birdie :> p.s. you still mean a lot to me and I hope you’re okay <3 
8.) every single time you sent me a picture of a frog :),, also that one post about taking fake shots of water still sends me but I can’t find it to link it,, and also everything you listed on this post including the fact that it is inspired by my post
9.) when you agreed to talk to people for me when I was panicking thinking they were going to die but had to go to sleep. that means so much that you would take that role on and dude I am so so sorry I ever asked that of you. 
10). you made me find magic in the sunlight and not just the moonlight, you helped me find that balance and accept that piece of me and it sounds stupid but its really important ok also im just gonna say it: your voice is perfection it is comfort it is warm and all things good in this world. ive only heard you speak like twice but I could listen to you for the rest of my life
11.) sometimes you send me posts that r like “thinking of you!!” and THEY MAKE MY DAY omfg 
12.) when you drew me!!! 
          a.) bc holy shit you are an amazing artist if you let me I want to post that drawing of me on my blog
          b.) I was supposed to draw you in return I am sorry I did not,, I still plan on doing it tho 
          c.) we drew ourselves as fairies and that was pretty fun 
          d.) you made me see beauty in myself I- 
13.) for never once encouraging my ed or bad habits. you were ready to call me tf out and I appreciate that so much dude? you were never subtley pro you also seem ready to stab anyone who opposes you. hell you post callouts against pr0-ana shit and m**nspo and f*tspo and photoshop and all of it. I admire you so much 
14.) for letting me ramble on about hermes and offerings and spirituality! 
15.) for lighting a candle for Catherine and talking with me that night
(I have the entire conversation copied into a google doc on my phone because it needed to be saved. the things you said are beautiful. it is so touching and breathtaking and if I could hug you I would and  I promise not to forget if you won’t forget. )
16.) holy shit dude P O E T R Y, both for being so good at it and for reading mine. 
17.) helping validate my arospec questioning and enby questioning,,, it was actually through your blog that I realized oh shit! I might be aro!! and having someone to talk about gender issues and arospec stuff is SO AMAZING and I love you <3 and thank you for talking with me and for helping me and for validating me 
18) validating my anger!! or at least helping to do so! you point out when things are unfair! you genuinely want my life to improve! you helped me realize some of my friends are shitty! you helped me accept things! 
19.) I love your vibes. I can’t say this enough but somehow you are just so wonderful to me,,, you are amazing I can’t describe it. you are ethereal and terrific and your features could be anywhere from beautiful to cryptic to solid to handsome but I promise you that there is something unique about you. a bit of mystery and magic left over from the days when fairytales were real. you have all the power of the sun and light and fire in both the life giving and the destructive aspects. you are so perfect and wonderful thank you 
20.) because you told me “you do not deserve to be traumatized” and in all honesty that slapped me into reality. if i still had my old Tumblr I probably would’ve screenshotted it so I could get the exact quote but I do not know how to make you understand How Much That Helped me 
all in all,,,, I must end the list here because I need to go be productive. alas.there is more I didn’t even BEGIN to mention,,, but kip, you are my rae of sunshine. someday we are going to go be cryptic authors in Scotland who disappear into the woods, perhaps to hunt with the faeries, perhaps no, who knows. we will become part of the local lore,, independent and happy and spooky. 
I love you so much!  also sorry I went through your archive to find all this,,,, to be fair I already did it once to find my posts <3 
I would never say that just one person “saved me”. thats too big of a responsibility to share. but kip, you helped save me, in ways I can’t explain, from myself and from death and from an abyss of numbness. you saved me from a thousand tiny deaths and gave me a thousand new pieces of life and I would not be the person I am today without you. I love and appreciate you so much and you bring me sunlight and joy and peace and connection. you are a true friend to me. thank you for being here. you deserve the world and so much more. 
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Text
dark academia ask game!
the secret history 🏛: how close are you and your group of friends? how far would you all go to protect each other? how many languages do you speak?
i have two friend groups! both of them i completely adore and i have one friend who is in both. we are close in a way most teenagers are. i find that we all lack depth in our reltionships. my best friend, who is in neither group would be the friend id be willing to truly do anything for. i love my friends in my friend group dearly, but i would never do something against my own morals for them. I only speak English !
if we were villains 🎭: are you into theatre? who’s your favourite shakespeare character? would you or do you smoke weed or cigarettes?
yes! i’m a proud thespian! i do my fair share of acting and also the technical aspects (a focus in costumes). my favorite shakespeare character is definitely ophelia! i’ve wanted to play her since i was a child, but she simply doesn’t fit my look. i’ve never had a cigarette, but i’ve smoked week a couple of times. this feels weird to talk about on the internet.
dead poets society 🖋: do you prefer poetry or prose? do you get along with your parents? do you resist authority or do you deal well with it?
prose! prose! prose! my parental relationships are not great. at all. this feels weird to talk about on the internet. i think it depends on the authority? if i have respect for them then i deal with them well. if it’s just simply someone who is in charge and treats people poorly then i don’t deal with it so well. it gets me in trouble sometimes.
kill your darlings ⏳: would you consider yourself an intelligent person? have you ever fallen in love with someone who wasn’t right for you? tradition or innovation?
honestly? no. i shouldn’t be allowed in the dark academia community. i’m more street smart tham book smart, unless it’s usesless literature, theatre, or psychology knowledge. I find that i tend to fall in love (shut up moony. youve been in love once.) to people who i think are not on the same ~emotional maturity~ level as me. innovation!! all the way!
homer 📖: is it more important to be brave or to be kind? do you like to read?
oooo this is hard. i think sometimes kindness is brave. wo i eould have to say kindness. YES! i love reading.
cigarette 🚬: what is your worst habit? do you like drinking? do you party a lot?
i have quite a few bad habits. when ever i get nervous i bite the inside of my lip until it draws blood. i also have a emotional dependence on hot cheetos. i don’t party a lot. one or twice a year i’ll go to a party.
leaf 🍁: what is your favourite season? what is your favourite comfort food?
i love the winter time! i love snow and the cold. i know this isn’t really what this is asking.... but hot cheetos....
vermont ❄️: would you ever go to school far away from your family? are you scared of losing the people close to you?
i WANT to go to a school far away. I live in the US and all the schools i plan on applying to are at least three five states away. i’m scared of losing my best friend. i don’t think i could manage life without him.
wine 🍷: how far would you go to help yourself? what about to help other people? do you think humans are inherently selfish?
to be honest, i have a massive guilt complex so not that far unless im trying to make myself feel miserable. to help other people? it depends on the person. there are some people i would pull and oliver marks for. i do think humans are inherently selfish, but i do not think that it is a bad thing. selfishness drives “selflessness” and shit so.
piano 🎹: what’s your favourite musical genre? do you play any instruments? who’s your favourite artist?
indie pop, indie rock, alt rock, and whatever the fuck hozier is. i play some ukulele. MY FAVORITE ARTIST IS HOZIER. I LOVE HIS MUSIC. IT UNDERSTANDS ME.
whiskey 🥃: tell us about your first kiss. what quality would make you reject someone who asked you out?
it was with my current partner. it was terrible. (babe if you see this i love you im SORRY) we had just watched avengers endgame and i had a STRONG emotional connection to tony stark so i was casually bawling my eyes out when she mashed her face with my face. i had NO clue what i was doing and i was STILL crying. as for rejection, i am actually very picky. i identify as demisexual (please dont hate me if you dont believe in that. im jusst tryna live) so dating and romance has been a bit dofficult as im not attracted to someone else i know them. i think my eyes are broken. my brain too. so really i would reject anyone if i felt i didn’t know them enough. maybe that’s shitty of me.
murder 🔪: are you capable of getting very angry? what are you most afraid of? what would be the worst way to die?
yes but i dont like doing it. it makes me feel out of control. when im that mad i do things that me nornally wouldn’t approve of. my ass would 100% pull that james moment with wren. i am so afraid of actually being a shit person. i am a shit person. BUT I DONT LIKE HAVING THE REALIZATION. burning alive. it would suck to burn alive.
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pantsusnifferr · 4 years
Text
I’m gonna be hella honest here, 2020 wasn’t the drastic life changing year i had hoped it’ll be.
Now its a tradition, well maybe, not really. Who knows...
Let’s start with the goals which ive accomplished in 2020 yeah?
Have less regrets Live more, experience more, get out of the comfort zone Be hardworking, be brave Work hard for the company Rekindle ties to the ones important to me Start working on my YouTube channel for company Study hard Be more confident, be more social Be a nicer and kinder person
Yes i definitely have had lesser regrets overall, i learnt that listening to that gnawing feeling in my gut is one of the few things that will lead me to get less regrets. Perhaps that’s an indication of something that you really want on the inside. Many times this year i just took a leap of faith and made decisions on the fly, going out of my way many times just to do the things i wanted to do. The me a year ago would never have done any of these things, let alone spend any money or time into such ‘frivolous’ activities.
Lets go through some of the highlights for my accomplished goals.
1. Bought Airshow tickets on impulse and rented camera lenses just because i had a shot i wanna get. 
Ended up getting that money shot and feeling pretty accomplished. It was nice to meet up and connect with fellow aviation enthusiasts and friends from my Air Force days, but i still felt like i didn’t fit in. Oh well, i didn’t regret anything. I set my mind to a thing i thought would be fun and challenging and i did it!
2. Trespassing into the green corridor for an assignment during the circuit breaker 
haha...Definitely isn’t worth the trouble in the end due to shitty unusable footage and total lack of input when it comes to the editing process. BUT STILL, the feeling of walking through thick jungle and jumping over construction barricades and barriers in the middle fo some goddamn forest just to get some footage is an experience nonetheless! Shitty teammates, good thing we managed to pull through and made some friends along the way. Wasn’t worth it, but i didn’t regret the experience one bit.
3. Got into more active activities with an open mind. 
Went to the gym with friends a lot more and tried to lead a healthier lifestyle, cycling, hema classes (more about that in a bit) The me from a couple of years ago would definately never give this idea a shot. Running at least once a week, keeping track of my health, all these made me feel a lot better. I should really get into it more though.
4. Hema classes
. 
Never thought swinging swords around can be that much fun! And i almost didn’t want to show up because i had a sudden surge of social anxiety in the morning before. Glad i powered through that to get to that class that october aternoon. I was mostly on autopilot, depressed and wanting more...but for the last few months of the year, hema classes gave me something to look forward to, and this really changed up my entire outlook then. I suppose having a newfound hobby you never knew you liked changes people for the better.
5. Going out of my way many many times just to help out a friend. Or just to hang out. 
I remember being too lazy to go out and have fun. Too lazy to wanna get up to get something done even with friends. Installing internet access points, cleaning up rooms, setting up laptops etc. Perhaps its the large amount of FOMO i’ve started to develop, or maybe its just me sick of being a sad loney wreck. Who knows, all i know is its a blessing to have friends and i am so glad that they’re willing to give me their time of the day as well.
6. Making videos for work. 
I didn’t HAVE to do this. Autopilot at work is a scary thing, its my own company and i could’ve done so much more... but i didn’t... or rather i couldn’t. I don’t remember what came over me and how i manage to find the willpower to shoot the videos then edit them over a few days. And i have no idea how i managed to actually follow through with it and get the damn thing edited. Not my proudest work, but damn am i proud of myself for actually doing the thing!
7. Keeping at it for school and not giving up.
Statistics, the killer module. Logistics, another killer one. I studied so so hard for it, i thought i was going to fuck it up like how i fucked up my assignments. But I am so so so glad that it paid off. Taking days of work to study is the correct move and i am so glad i had the discilpine to stick with it. Haha discilpline i said, more like letting the panic set in untill i find myself studying as if my life depended on it. But still, an A and a B+ feels really great though. My first A, that’s still something to celebrate for! Thanks for helping, you know who you are!
8. Giving more of a shit for my company
Im a little undecided about whether i should put this under the part about having no regrets. I am happy with the money and growth we’ve got in our company, alongside the many happy customers ive got, I still somehow felt that i have struggled so much and had a lot more anxiety and stress as compared to the previous years. Perhaps i just need to chill. Although i don’t doubt the fact that taking more responsibility does indeed make things less mundane. Appreciate the increase in pay and bonuses though.
9. Spent quality time with family
I used to have this feeling whenever i am around my cousins, these are the people whom i’ve grown up wit,h and who i used to consider really close friends. I just felt that over the years we have just became different people altogether. They’re normies with normal hobbies, living their lives normally and successfully while im just a weird outsider.
Im somewhat glad that we managed to find some common ground in gaming and our talking sessions. Attending their wedding is a weird feeling but im still somewhat glad that a part of them is still the same on the inside. We might not be as close anymore but im still happy that they treasured the times and memories we had just the same as i did. Lets hope i’ll not fuck it up and i’ll need another chance to rekindle this relationship. Still, them being more successful in life and work still gives me this crazy inferioty complex around them.
Talking with my mom has given me a lot of peace of mind. I am so glad that I have a responsible parent and business partner who shares the same values as i do. Makes things a lot less stressful to know that she’s got my back.
10. Became more social
Yep, went out of my comfort zone many times to talk to people and help out when i could! Its always good to do the kind thing and reach out, when i’d just brush it off as someone else’s problem previously. I am really proud of myself for this.
Now for the goals ive failed. Start work on my personal YouTube channel Join the weeb club to find more gamer weeb friends Learn weeb speak Be healthy Learn 2 songs on bass guitar or ukulele Draw at least once a month (I did but they’re not completed art)
Oof, i don’t know perhaps its the lack of time or the lack of effort. Maybe i’ve been putting in so much effort into the other things i don’t have the mental energy to process these. Perhaps i don’t want it bad enough...
Art and drawing in particular has been really bad. I want to be good at drawing so badly but i really just can’t be arsed to practice. Music too.
I think i am definately healtheir than before but i am nowhere near where i should be. Gotta step up!
Now here’s what i wanna do for the next year
Keep healthy, Lose weight! Be even more social! Start work on personal youtube channel Learn ONE SONG on any instrument Draw at least twice in the next year! Live even more, experience more, get out of the comfort zone more! Be hardworking, be brave
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hey-hamlet · 5 years
Text
BNHA AU Ideas: A Poor Bird
Also on AO3! (if you recognise the au it might be because I started a full fic which i abandoned because i realised a full canon retelling is l o n g. i’ll still probably write bits and pieces like the other AUs) 
TL;DR:  Izuku isn't quirkless. Not that Inko would ever let you know that.
AKA: Good dad Enji, bad mum Inko
TW: Child Abuse
Inko Quirk: Attraction of small objects Issues:
Many
Soooooooo many
Hisashi  Quirk: All for one
Izuku Quirk: Push and Pull
Allows him to push objects away from him, or pull objects towards him.
If the object is heavier than him, the force acts on him instead
Injuries
Crush injures on the hand, never healed correctly
Limited range of movement + tremors
Issues
Feels horrifically ill if he uses his quirk, has flashbacks. Cant use it at all until he is trained by allmight
Can't remember his mother hurting him outside of flashbacks and nightmares. Only knows it happened bc katsuki can remind him
PTSD
Dislikes: Being called "cute" or being implied to be helpless but he can suck it up if hes not feeling too shitty.
Enji 47
First-year in All Might's final year.
Met Rei when he first reached the top ten, aged 22 and married her a year later, with fuyumi on the way just a quickly
Knows ab. All Mights other form
Rei 48
Does ballet!
Shouto 15
No scar
Yet, anyway. We can fix that.
Touya 19 Changes
A little less crispy fried, still scarred by his own quirk. Wears gold contacts undercover as Dabi
Natsuo
21
Studying Medicine
Fuyumi
23
She's a teacher!
Mushy Stuff feat. The Todoroki’s
enji is still number 2 hero. hes actually really nice? he just has a major case of resting bitch face. hes from a rich family, he got dragged out to a ballet to celebrate his becoming number 2 and he was whining we hes like, 21 and doesnt wanna see a ballet he just wants to go to work, or get drinks with his sidekicks. hes being a bit of a grump and his parents are living for their grumpy son bc he still has Round cheeks and hes adorable
anyway its been like, 20 minutes and the show finally starts and enji is like "god i can go home after this and s l e e p" but like, the lady comes out on stage and hes in love. tall, white hair and incredibly graceful. his mum has to hit him bc hes blushing so hard hes getting uncomfortably warm
after the show he like, breaks into her dressing room. hes got his hands clamped over his eye and he like "oh my god im so sorry if you are changing i promise im not looking i just have somewhere to be after this but please what do i have to do to get you to agree to go to dinner with me"
and rei is r e d bc the grouchy number 2 hero has burst into her dressing room and hes bright red and his hair is smouldering slightly and she just laughs and pulls his hands away from his eyes and tells him she'd love to. enji just walks out, faintly dazed with rei's number on his phone and hes so ridiculously happy he cant stop his hair from smoking
anyway, they date, they get married etc
but rei's ballet company is threatening to drop her if she has kids bc she wont be "perfect" anymore and she's torn up about it bc enji started dating her because of ballet and what if he hates her? but enji is like ",,, i kinda,,, love you? plus you and our hypothetical kids with be gods gift to this earth. i will buy you a whole ballet company if i have to"and shes crying and everything is soft
she has fuyumi and she is the worlds most perfect baby and enji is the most protective dad on this planet
then she has dabi bc she wanted fuyumi to have a sibling and dabi is born w his quirk and sneezes embers and enji is crying because his son is perfect
and then they have another kid bc they are sickeningly in love and their children are all wonderful and they have natsuo who likes to eat not food things and rei loves her chunky toddler. enji is crying because "hes gonna be such a big strong man" and also because natsuo keeps trying to eat his flaming beard
and then they have shouto bc "fuck it more children” hes born and rei is crying bc "look he looks just like you enji!" and enji is crying because "rei he looks just like you,,," and fuyumi is crying bc she has another little brother, dabi is trying not to cry bc hes a big strong 5 yearold and natsuo is like,,, 3 and hes trying to est his baby brothers hair and hes perfect
also!!! dabi is a double agent. he loves his dad v much and is pretending to be a villain to keep him and the rest of his family safe
enjis that dad that’s so fucking embarrassing and he does it on purpose?? during the sports festival he’s in his seat and he’s just “sHOUTOOOO” everyone turns and they’re just ???? todoroki s bright red but he’s yelling back
“wHAT”
endeavour, making a lil heart with his hands: “i love you and i’m very proud of you ♥️”
hi please enji sending photos of his kids to allmight all the time. all might fucking adores these little children and sends them so much random merch bc they are so fucking cute. he holds natsuo who’s trying to eat his weird bunny ear hair and he’s just
i love,,,these kids,,,
natsuo is a Chunky Boy. hes a toddler with the density of lead, hes so fucking heavy and round and allmight adores him. shouto looks at you judgingly even as a baby and allmight feels personally attacked
Pre canon + Training arc
in this au, izuku has a stronger version of his mothers quirk. like, really good telekinesis and he wants to be a hero! she hits him if he uses his quirk, makes him say hes quirkless and weak, says she just wants to protect him. she withholds food to keep him "perfect" because
"your father ruined me, now im all covered in ugly stretch marks and im disgusting, but ill make you perfect"
inko makes izuku wear feminine clothes and keep his hair long bc shes kinda trying to make him into like, the perfect version of her? and she always threatens to scrub izukus "fathers" freckles off his face with steel wool
shes ,,, conflicted about Katsuki
(katsuki knows something is up w inko and izuku so hes not terrible)
because she doesnt want her "perfect" sweet son to become brash like Katsuki but she kinda,,, likes her son being the damsel in distress that has to be saved by his stronger friend? and thinks that if izuku has a guard he won't need to be strong himself if they play in her house, inko is the villain, katsuki is the hero and izuku has to be the hostage that needs to be saved.
izuku tells katsuki about his quirk one day and he mentions it in front of inko. katsuki is almost thrown out of the house and he can hear izuku screaming from inside, and hes trying to get through the door bc his friend his crying and its not his fault. he stays there with this ear pressed against the door for hours. izuku stops crying after 45 minutes, inko starts saying shes sorry after 3 hours
inko crushed her son's hands
inko needs her hands for her quirk to work and assumes izuku does too? So she methodically crushes every finger and his wrists to try to ruin his ability to use his quirk. izukus hands heal but he cant write without it hurting and that makes him really upset bc he loves to draw. its the only thing that his mum lets him do that he enjoys. inko says sorry but she still blames him
"im sorry it hurt honey but mummy had to do it, you understand right?"
from that day forward katsuki starts training to be a hero bc he doesnt want anyone getting hurt like izuku ever again. he helps izuku train too in secret, they work together to lie because izuku wants to he a hero, and if he can survive his mother? he can do anything.
after that time w inko he cant use his quirk. like, physically? he can, but he has panic attacks and freezes up if he tries. basically izuku gets bullied for being quirkless, but not by Katsuki
ep 1 happen kind like normal. izuku asks "can i be a hero without a quirk?" allmight says no but he manages to use his quirk to save katsuki and katsuki hugs him as he cries, izuku pulls katsuki from the sludge villain w his quirk, allmight saves the day
the heroes are like, 2 secs from scolding izuku for using his quirk but the boy is having a horrific panic attack and they would feel bad ab it. also katsuki looks like hes gonna commit real actual murder if someone so much as touches izuku so they awkwardly walk away
allmight confronts izuku ab. the whole "i though you were quirkless" thing and izuku has another panic attack and all might feels terrible izuku is basically apologising for having a quirk??? that that sits really badly w toshi so he asks izuku if he can help him and katsuki train to be heroes and izuku cries and says yes
izuku looks at the time and starts crying again and allmight is like??? did i do something wrong???
izuku is sobbing that he doesnt wanna go home because "she'll be so angry" and toshi is like,,, holy shit im just gonna steal this child i guess but izuku convinces him hes overacting and izuku runs home, after toshi gives him his phone number and stresses that izuku is allowed to call even for "stupid" reasons
mitsuki is confused that katsuki looks so worried hes like,, pacing and he keeps sticking his head outside to look over the balcony to the street and checking his phone bc izuku hasnt told him what happened yet and hes scared that inko finally snapped and hurt him too badly to recover from
inko??? wasnt happy
shes beating izuku with heavy stuff and asking him if he thinks shes a terrible mother or something. izuku is crying because hes sorry and he didnt mean to use his quirk he was just scared. inko starts crying and is patching him up and says that she only hurts him because she loves him and wants him to be happy and perfect . izuku doesnt get food for 2 days after that, he has to sneak out to train w katsuki and all might. all might actually asks katsuki ab. it
"his mother is fucking crazy. my mum doesnt believe me but shes batty. lost it when her husband left and is trying to keep izuku like a fucking doll, its creepy"
izuku tends to wear gloves of long sleeves, or draws over his hands bc they are c o v e r e d in scares. on a particularly bad training day izuku cant hold his water bottle and he cant stop himself tearing up so katsuki holds the bottom for it and izuku is so embarrased and gratful and all might wants to cry because who hurt this kid???
like,, three? months into the training izuku comes up to all might and the kid is shaking and pale but he looks so determined and he says in the softest voice "i want to start training my quirk" and all might smiles like the sun
Entrance Exam
So allmight has already given his quirk to Mirio, he and nighteye made up. Hes out heroing, saves izuku from the sludge villain, Izuku doesn’t cling on but there is something ab the way Izuku looks at him that worries allmight so he stays to answer his question and runs out of time. Izuku asks if he can be a hero w/o a quirk, allmight hesitates. Izuku just quietly says "its ok, thank you for your time" and leaves. All might feels terrible.
He realises the sludge villain is gone, curses and runs towards the explosions. Izuku is wandering around trying to find Katsuki and sees the sludge villain has him. W/o wasting a moment he runs towards him, trying to pull him free. He uses his quirk to pull him out by the shirt and stands infront of katsuki to try to keep him safe. Allmgiht rushes in to help.
The heroes try to tell Izuku off but katsuki just yells at them and they hurry away. They run into Yagi and he tries to talk to Izuku but katsuki just yells at him. Allmight explains his form thing and tells izuku he can totally be a hero but oh hey werent you quirkless?
Katsuki is ab. To rip Allmights head off, izuku just explains he doesn’t much like his quirk. All might asks if he can help train the two of them to be heroes and they agree 100%. Izuku has to run home and leaves Katsuki w allmight. Katsuki tells him he'll need to look after Izuku and walks off in the same direction. Allmight is l o s t
Izuku gets beaten byhis mother for using his quirk, sneaks out to train with yagi and katsuki. Yagi is worried but there isnt much he can do. Mirio and Sir show up sometimes to chat w allmight and help training, All might admits hes going into teaching bc hes going to have to retire soon and Izuku tells him he'll be amazing at it, katsuki just roasts allmight
Day of the entrance exam mirio wishes them both good luck .
Izuku has told his mother hes taking the gen-ed written exam and has permission to go get food with katsuki afterwards. He has applied for gen-ed and the hero course and honestly doesn’t believe he'll get into heroics but he has to try.
Someone pushes him, Occhako catches him, they all say hello and enter the written exam hall. Izuku finds it easy as pie so hes honestly kinda worried that hes missing something (hes not, hes just smart). There is a moral dilema at the end of the test and he answers it in a way that concerns the markers (in a self esteem kinda way)
So they enter the auditorium and and izuku finds out he isnt in katsukis arena which makes im panic, but he tells him to suck it up because hes a grown as teenager and can handle himself which cheers izuku up. Iida calls them out for talking.
At the arena hes having a quiet breakdown, sees ochako and lights up, goes to talk to her but Iida tells him off for being a trouble maker. Someone in the crowd snidly asks "when did they start letting 12-year-old girls take the exam" and izuku feels like dirt. Mic calls start and his fight/flight is so overreactive he throws himself straight into the exam
Pulling rubble and crap w great force through the robots, he gets around 20 points? But after a while he just shuts down. He feels sick and he hates his quirk and his mother and his hnds ache and he just c a n t do it anymore.
Aizawa watches this kid in arena 4 crumple to the ground and he spares a moment to be sad for the kid. He looked promising, but its not the first time someone has cracked under the pressure durring the entrance exam. He sees allmgiht looking saddened out of the corner of his eye, locked on the screen, and thinks maybe this kid is why he asked to be excluded from the judging team.
Izuku sees the zero pointer and cant even bring himself to run away. But then he hears ochako cry out and instantly sprints towards her.
He pulls himself into the air and pulls as many shards of scrap metal and rebar as he can, and pulls them with all his might through the 0 pointer, turning into a giant pincusion. He runs out of energy, and just lets himself fall.
Aizawa feels his heart sink bc the kid is smiling.
Ochako saves him at the last moment, and hes miraculously uninjured but so out of energy he can barely stand. Recovery girl hands him gummies which he gratefully accepts and drags himself out of the exam. He meets katsuki by the entrance. He sees his tiny mess of a friend, pale and shakey but smiles and he picks him up and hugs him even though he will deny it till the day he dies. izuku is sure he failed but for one moment, using his quirk? he just felt so complete and free that he doesnt mind if he fails, just because he got to enjoy that one moment. bakugo tells izuku that hes gonna drag him into the hero course by his hair and izuku giggles
They go get food bc they need some relief.
Izuku doesn’t think he's in the heroics department but is hopeful anyway.
he and bakugo spend the week waiting for their letters "studying" for ua (aka, designing hero costumes, coming up with names, planning the fuck out of everything bc they are both crazy nervous and will never admit it)
inko hands izuku his mail and izuku is so nervous because if she looked? its game over but she just smiles happily and tells him to tell her if he got into gen ed. or not so they can invite the bakugo's over to celebrate
izuku walks calmly until his mum is out of sight, then he tears down the hall, stuffs a towel under the door and opens his letter under his blankets so she cant hear it. its allmgiht on the screen and he cries.
and he got in and he cries some more
and then he has a quick panic attack becuase holy shit this is a lot of lies hes going to have to spin because he came first in the entrance exam. his mum asks him if he got in and hes so grateful that his voice doesnt shake when he cries, as he says back "i got into gen. ed mum!!"
He finds out he got in and he starts to panic bc what is he going to tell his mum? Some point later Inko yells at him for just sitting around so he runs out of the house and to a cat café, and hes just sobbing because his face hurts from where she slapped him and he just wants to get out of the rain.
Shinso sees this kid, curses his heroic instincts and pays for 2 hours for him and the mystery kid. He just wanted to wallow in self pity for failing the exam he knew he was going to fail, but now hes got a crying kid to deal with
So turns out the kid is his age and is called Midoriya. As only izuku can do, hes shinso spilling his guts ab the hero course and his quirk in around 20 minutes. Izuku explains a bit about what his mother did to him, and that he got into the hero course but if his mother finds out hes scared shitless of what she'll do.
Shinsou’s family before Aizawa was shit, he gets it. And he sees this cute green-haired sobbing kid gently kiss a fat tabby on the top of its little head and decides he'd die for him.
They plot that they'll change shirts at the start of the day so inko doesn’t see the hero course shirt, and shinso will quickly tell him what they were doing in gen ed on the train home. Shinso does urge izuku to get help but izuku declines. His mother is sick and she's trying her best. She still loves him. Izuku is scared of who his dad is.
And it's not like anyone ever believed his soft, kind-looking mother could hurt her own son.
First day + Quirk Apprehension Test
Inasa is a recommendation student, along with Momo and Todoroki, was placed in Aizawa class bc his quirk is kinda wack.
Class does not contain Hagekure, Mineta is expelled
like, first day of school shinso is waiting down the road for izuku and bakugo is like,,, ha????? and shinso is like "oK So i have the hero course shirt, change behind a tree like a bunch of weirdos or wait for school" and izuku is like,,, “as much as my anxiety wants to change now so we wont be late i think kacchan might murder us if we change behind a tree" and bakugo is like??? "YeaH and WHO ARE YOU EXACTLY"
anyway! they take the bus and shinso explains that the bonded over a chubby tabby and that hes agreed to be izuku alibi and katsuki looks him up and down like ",,, you pass" and izuku giggles and shinso feels happy bc he didnt know the boy could giggle and its such a soft noise
anyway, izuku and shinso sprint into school to find a bathroom to change in, izuku tries not to cry on his hero shirt. they then proceed to speed walk to the correct class bc the other students have shown up and they dont wanna get yelled at. katsuki told izuku he could walk himself to class because "youre a big boy now" and izuku laughs again
izukus anxiety vs trauma is a continuous war bc anxiety says "hide behind friends" but trauma says "dont be weak and pathetic like inko says you are or shes been right the whole time"
izuku gets into class, bakugo is busy trying to scare iida bc iida is Really Getting On His Nerves. iida says hi to izuku and izuku almost cries before iida says that he was sorry for being a dick and then izuku almost cries again but bc hes happy
ochako bursts in like "OH MY GOD THE CUTE ONE GOT IN" and izuku is Red and like (a lil trauma but he shoves that way deep down) and says hi. aizawa crawls in and scares the actual shit out of everyone but izuku finds him super calming? bc hes just so fucking blunt and he doesnt have to look for double meanings
anyway, izuku gets called up to do the throw bc he came first and hearing aizawa say "use your quirk" made a cold sweat run through him but bakugo gave him a thumbs up so he felt a little better. The boy gets a crazy score. izuku gets a great score on all the stuff he can use his quirk for, but hes got terrible stamina/strength bc hes just so thin. hes placing like, first quarter of the class
so they finish, mineta gets kicked out
allmight is watching from behind a bush bc look at his boys go!!! his yelly boy and his crying boy!!. aizawa holds izuku back at the end of class, bakugo doesnt wanna leave him but tenya pushes him to the locker room
"so kid. thats a great quirk youve got there"
and izuku,,, really doesnt like talking about his quirk. he doesn't like using it. he and bakugo drew vines on his hands this morning to cover up the scars and hes tracing his fingers along them to keep himself from shaking.
aizawa looks him dead in the eye
"mind telling me why you are registered as quirkless?"
and izuku freezes. he cant breathe.
aizawa is waiting and his irritation turns to alarm when he realizes the kid i s n t m o v i n g. all might has seen izuku freak out before so he swoops in and sits izuku down on the ground and tries to get the kid to breath. he does but hes still shaking and all he'll stay is "im sorry" and "not again"
aizawa is very much shaken because izuku seemed pretty normal? then he remembered the kid shinso was talking about. allmight calls bakugo who runs back out onto the field, half in uniform and half in costume and hes trying to calm izuku down and he looks like,,, 2 seconds away from ripping aizawa head off and aizawa honestly thinks hes kinda deserves it lmao
its nearing the end of school and izuku isnt even down from his panic attack yet but bakugo n e e d s shinso to get over here so they can swap shirts or izuku is going to be in even more trouble than he already is. so bakugo is trying to get izuku to respond to anything, allmight has his hand on his not sons shoulder, aizawa feels like a piece of shit, and bakugo is trying to find shinso's contact number in izuku's phone
some of class a goes to look outside and aizawa lays into the and tells them to hurry up to class or he'll expell them all with mineta
anyway shinso comes running out bc his teacher is mic and is willing to let him do dumb stuff and shinso is like??? dad its been 1 day what did you do to the cat kiss boy?? shinso allmight and bakugo get izuku responsive enough that bakugo takes him to swap his shirts in the changing rooms and helps izuku clean up so its not obvious he was crying. shinso gets izukus stuff from his classroom. aizawa just turns to all might
“ok so what the fuck was that"
all might honestly shrugs "i barely know myself. kid has serious quirk trauma and is scared of his mother, thats all i can tell you" and aizawa is both concerned and annoyed bc ofcourse thsi si in his class
izuku and bakugo get home, alls good
Battle Trial
battle trial! its,,a ride
basically! izuku has his lil costume and ochako tells him he looks really cute and hes grateful + trauma. bakugo tells him he looks like hes ready to bust some heads which makes him feel better. todoroki is with iida on the villain team
they are chatting happily about have hero families and being melodramatic about being evil
Izuku is paired with inasa!
so izuku cant directly use his quirk on himself, but he can "push" against the ground, which sends him up. its useful for dodging but not sustainable
anyway, they work out that inasa's wind doesnt effect izukus telekinesis
basically:
izuku makes some dust, they roll in, todoroki is out and looking for them. he torches the dust but gets hit by a pebble to the temple. inasa is like, 100% impressed. they wrap todoroki up and inasa says sorry to his half/half bro. todoroki shrugs. bakugo is like, internally cheering and he has the most murderous smile
anyway, iida is melodramatic, inasa looses it laughing bc hes so funny and takes a big ol kick to the face. hes down, probs concussed but iida cant get in to tie him up because he almost gets squished by the currently moving bomb bc its paper mache its light and easy for izuku to pull on
iida decides he should probably take down izuku before anything happens, but at the last moment izuku pushes off the ground, dodging over iida and lightly tapping the bomb
hero team wins!!!
inasa and todoroki are both concussed which is awkward but its all g. izuku gets MVP but iida was a close second. bakugo like, friendly punches izuku in the arm and hes hiding behind bakugo bc people are looking at him but hes very happy
someone says "wow, your quirk is amazing" and hes like,,, "oh there goes my good mood." allmight and bakugo are about to tell this kid to shut the fuck up but get beaten to it by a concussed todoroki of all people
"its not the quirk its how he uses it you overipe melon"
izuku giggles until he cant breathe and bakugo is cackling. concussed todoroki looks so pleased with himsel
bakugo and kiri are teams up and they kick actual ass as the villains. like, crazy good, they take out the heroes and dont even have to let it run over time
because "if we win? we do it right."
izuku is like doing these little happy bounces and inasa is crying bc his partner is so pure
izuku and shinso meet up, change, go home
U.S.J.
Happens like 3 weeks in, not 3 days in. They need time to bond ok. Before the trip we get some general hyjinks.
the next day, its field trip time baby!!!
inasa makes izuku sit with him and todoroki and its a tight fucking fit bc they are sharing 2 seats. inasa has like,,, claimed this boy because he was so soft and izuku has a friend!! and hes very happy. hes like,, a little scared of todoroki but also kinda loves him for the overripe melon comment so
Kurogiri yeets the villains into the usj. allmight is out of time, aizawa runs in like normal. inasa, izuku and tsuyu get sent to the shipwreck zone. they do some cool shit honestly. inasa holds the 3 of them in the air, tsuyu hold the villains together as izuku yeets them into the hull of the ship and seals the hold and hopes the villains dont really care enough to break a hole in the ship. Inasa gets them all to shore
then they get to witness the nomu and izuku sees the punch thrown? and he moves without thinking, using all of his quirk he can to hold to nomus fist back. after he moves, inasa joins in, pushing the nomu back as much as the can. aizawa punches shigiraki and he gets m a d. shigiraki breaks the capture weapon and sends the nomu after tsuyu. inasa, who was closer, pushes her out of the way and takes the hit. its just like, 1 blow? but hes down to the count. aizawa tells tsuyu to take him and run
izuku wants to throw up
aizawa tries to get him to run but the nomu charges again and izuku has to pull aizawa out of the way. all they can do is play keep-away and aizawa is frustrated because no matter the training he has, he can't stand up to this thing. all he can do is rely on izuku's quirk, because the quirk can move faster than a human can. shigiraki gets sick of this, kurogiri uses momentum to send aizawa to the other side of the usj with kiri and Bakugo. they begin to run back to the plaza. izuku is scared, slips up, takes a hit. hes down, with broken ribs and his quirk is nearing overuse
shigiraki sees this kid's broken hands, laughs and makes the nomu crush them again
bakugo blasts in, grabs izuku. todoroki has the nomu trapped in ice, aizawa wraps izukus hands with what he was left of his capture weapon
all might bursts in. he has more of his quirk left bc he hasnt passed it on yet, takes out the nomu and has enough strength to still be standing. shigiraki goes to attack, and izuku basically uses the last of his strength to pull allmight towards him, then he collapses
the other heroes arrive with endeavour! because he was patrolling nearby and got the alert. is his agency in hosu? Yep! do i care? nope hes here to see his son!
aizawa is like, moossttlylyy ok? shigiraki got to his arm and he's got scrapes and sprains from being yeeted around by izuku's quirk but he's pretty ok. inasa has a punctured lung but is stabilized quickly. izukus bones arent fractured? but hes got a pretty bad crush injury to both hands + cracked ribs and low blood sugar. bakugo rides w him back to ua
shinso is there and hes a little panicky bc his dad and bro were in a villain attack. nezu comes into recovery girls office and is like "oh its ok! ive contacted everyone’s parents and they should be here soon" and bakugo is like "YOU DID WHAT"
nezu sweating ",,, what do you mean this is what im ment to do"
and allmight cringes; aizawa, on painkillers, is like, pretty concerned; bakugo is enraged. izuku isnt breathing. hes frozen, crying silently and hes perfectly still and it breaks recovery girls heart
hes got a big bruise of the side of his face, fyi
bakugo doesnt want to leave but recovery girl orders him out, all might gets made to leave as well. soon the only people left are inasa (unconscious) izuku (catatonic) and aizawa (guilty)
inko walks in. shes smiling. she grabs izuku by the hand, "its ok honey, mummy's here now!"and aizawa?? hes trying not to judge but he gets a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. inko pulls izuku from the bed by his crushed hand and izuku is silent. she has a hand wrapped around the back of his neck as she leads him out of the school
bakugo is at home and hes begging his mother to let him see izuku bur his mother wont let him because inko has been through something stressful and doesnt need you yelling! and bakugo is angry because shes never believed him about inko. he throws his plate against the wall and looks mitsuki dead in the eyes
"you'll regret that tomorrow. you'll regret that when you see what shes done to him"
his door slams
the day after the usj zuku isnt in school. shinso is waiting at the end of his street but only bakugo shows up. he looks defeated
"lets just go"
shinso spends the whole day in the hero course shirt
aizawa isnt surprized, loads of kids didnt show up to school the day after the usj, even non-hero kids, but then izuku isnt there the next day. bakugo is pacing, tugging at his hair as he waits for aizawa to show up. inasa looks lost, todoroki looks faintly confused, shinso is in the classroom, didnt leave to go to his own because bakugo doesnt know where midoriya is and hes waiting for aizawa
aizawa walks in with the bell. no izuku. his heart sinks. He looks around, and walks straight back out of class, sends mic to cover for him. he tells nezu. nezu has a terrible feeling and asks him and allmight to perform a wellness check. allmight uses his hero form, even though he doesnt have much time to waste, because this isnt a waste
they arrive at inkos house, they knock and she opens the door. shes smiling and asks if they would like to sit down, if they want some tea. there is blood under her fingernails
aizawa aks to use the bathroom, sneaks into midoriyas room. the kid is locked to the bed in the dark and aizawa wants to throw up bc he can smell blood and infection
inko took steel wool and scrubbed "off" every bruise on midoriya's skin to make him "clean" again
every mark
every cut
his hands are, oddly, untouched with their horrible crush marks healed by recovery girl as priority, but the side of his face, his ribs cage, the cuts on his arms and legs and back are raw. no skin, sticky blood dripping onto the sheets. aizawa goes over to izuku and he honestly smells like rotting meat because his room is hot and he has massive open injuries that are super infected. he tries to shake izuku awake and realizes the kid is burning. izuku fliches and is trying to pull away from aizawa, opening cuts and pulling at his wounds. hes so quiet aizawa wants to cry. he gently pats izukus hair and tells him he'll be safe now
hes walks out of the room and throws inko from the couch onto the floor, cuffing her. allmight is shocked, inko is screaming. aizawa cuffs inko to a couch and drags all might into izukus room and all might wants to cry
because, something aizawa hadn't noticed, every single piece of hero merch izuku owned has been ripped from its hiding place and crushed and torn on the floor. all might oh so gently breaks the cuffs holding into down and gently, gently picks him up. he cant stop the tears
izuku lets out the softest "im so sorry sensei" and aizawa has to leave the room. he sucker punches inko, calls nezu and an ambulance. inko is, thank god, unconscious now and the house is so quiet
so quiet aizawa can hear all might crying
mitsuki runs in bc she thinks her tiny friend is getting hurt and she sees her sons teacher sitting with his head between his legs on the floor like hes trying not to cry. he just points and she sees the number 1 hero holding this red and broken boy and she screams. she has to run back out to throw up into the kitchen sink
she calls Katsuki. hes sitting in class, most of the class is pacing or doodling, or chatting. mic doesn't have the heart to try and teach them but he also isn't cleared to tell them whats going on because he doesnt know
bakugos phone rings and the kid tears open his bag. all mistuki says it "im so sorry" and bakugo throws his phone into the wall so hard it shatters
mic like, yells bc a kid just shattered his phone and bakugo leaps over his desk to get to the door. mic grabs him by the collar
"hey listener? what do you think you're doing?"
bakugo is white and clammy
"let go." "listener?" "let. go."
mic drops him and bakugo tears down the hall, he kicks open shinsou's door and hauls him out of the room. midnight tries to stop him but bakugo is basically already off school grounds. shinso doesn't even need to ask, he can guess
they are running as fast as the can, faster than either of them have ever run. they don't even bother with the stairs, bakugo uses his quirk to haul them both up the side. bakugo and shinsou try to run in but aizawa just grabs them and pulls them close, he won't let them pass. aizawa isn't even angry but he won't let go of them, like hes scared someone will hurt another of his students, mitsuki drags Bakugo to her side and just holds him like she used to when he got hurt them he was little. the house is silent other than random crying, sirens in the distance
the ambulance comes and they come to take izuku but all might doesn't want to let go of this kid he's failed so badly, so he gently carries him all the way down and lays him on the stretcher. there is blood caked on his suit jacket
ok so as an fyi? izukus injuries arent terrible but hes missing a lot of skin. still has cracked ribs, has a serious infection and is critically dehydrated from fluid loss due to lost skin, plus the fact he hasn't been given food or water for 2 days
it's not the injuries that are the problem, its the dehydration/fever
1A is shaken. mic is shaken and 20 minutes after bakugo runs out? nezu announces that classes have been cancelled for the day and that students may remain on campus if they have no other way home and mic??? the guy is shaken. his husband is missing, all might left, nemuri says bakugo took shinso too
mic has to tell the class school is cancelled, 1 hour into the day but he can't tell them why because he doesn't know. momo, uraraka and kouda just kinda, start to cry bc they can feel something terrible has happened
todoroki invites everyone over to his house until school would have normally ended. they get over to shoutos house and hes like "so,,, you all wanna know whats happened right?" and he gets a bunch of silent nods. he just kinda, says a preemptive sorry to the pic of his dad on the wall and breaks open his hero office door. 1A is crowded around the computer as shouto, momo and tenya are scanning for anything in alerts and shouto stops and points
"minimal security transport and medical assistance to mustutafu, rapid response requested."
they click on it
Heroes Responding: Eraserhead (underground), All Might Civilian Involvement: 2 Adults (stable, no medical response) 3 Children (2 stable, 1 unknown. medical response requested) Villain: N/A Alert Type: Domestic Violence
tenya has to walk away. so does inasa and todoroki
Endeavour storms in bc "shouto, why did you break into my personal office-" and he sees these kids and they looks broken and his son just clings to him. he feels his heart drop, because he doesnt know whats happened, but its not fucking good
w recovery girl + iv fluids and antibiotics, izuku heals up pretty quick but hes got some big scars. shallow but red and angry looking
school doesnt start again until next Wednesday, 7 days after the usj and the dorms have been built
bakugo and shinso wouldn't leave izuku. like, aizawa threatened to expel Bakugo and he still wouldn't go. when izuku wakes up, his two brothers are holding his hands and he cries because hes alive and they are there
so, dorms
everyone swarms izuku bc that's the soft man who they love who saved them in the usj and also they thought he was dead for a hot minute and izuku is crying and there are hugs. aizawa is very fond of his dumb children and they train for the sports festival
U.A. Sports Festival
Events
Event 1 : Battle Royal
so like, battle royal w a shrinking perimeter. 3 hits and you’re out. A hit is contact with another person, thrown object or quirk.
they all wear like these rly uncomfortable body suits that register touches anywhere bc nezu is a nightmare. they all fucking hate these things and nezu is cackling be he had them made but no one would let him use them
during the event, bakugo yells "MAKE IT THROUGH AND SHOW THOSE CHUCKLE FUCKS WHAT 1A IS MADE OF” a resounding yell of “FUCK YEAH” echos through the examinees
no matter what nezu does, not a single member of 1A lands a hit on another. like, bakugo trips and izuku uses his quirk to get him out of the range f kirishima
all of 1A makes it through. all of them. every single one, followed by half of 1B, plus 10ish mixed gen ed and support kids
gen ed, absolutely disgusted: “it’s clear ua favours 1a”
inasa, outraged and very loud: “sAY THAT TO MY FACe”
please, during the fight izuku goes to throw a punch at the person in front of him, they turn around and all he can see its purple hair and eyes and he cant. he uses his quirk to push himself away from shinso
izuku like,,, takes out most of the people bc he yeets people at eachother. he and inasa protect everyon from 1A! todoroki and bakugou team up, double the fire power. ochako is sad bc she cant help bc she cant touch her class mates so she yeets rocks at people. sato / kiri / bakugo make a sit tone of rubble for her, inasa makes a wind vortex above 1A, then she drops it. thats how they take out almost everyone
Event 2: Blind Tag
after the event their costumes light up. half red, half white. the anouncment is just "red is it. if you are still it in 10 minutes you dont move on. good luck" the area turns pitch b l a c k. all natural light is gone so all you can see is the glowing suits (the audience can see bc they have heat cams) and cementoss adds some varying terrain.
-        not gonna lie? it wasnt going to be blind tag but nezu didnt want the last fight to be just 1A
izuku is it he tags someone then avoids being tagged again
inasa is not it. he floats in a corner for like, the whole game but gets hit by ibara near the end
bakugo and todoroki are both not it and team up to make a firey circle of hell, they make it through
shinso does too and hes a really cool fight that no one but him and the audience get to see. he ends up choking this guy out, tags him and sprints away
Event 3: Tournament
momo/monoma, shinso/shoji, tsuyu/kendo, jiro/kuroiro, todoroki/hatsume, iida/awase, bakugo/kirishima, izuku/ochako
momo/iida, todoroki/shinso, izuku/tsuyu, bakugo/jiro
iida/izuku, shinso/bakugo
bakugo/izuku > Izuku wins
Vs. Hero Killer
Interns with Nighteye and Mirio as they do special training w gran. Working with Endeavours agency to find herokiller. Nomu attack, Nighteye tells Mirio to get Izuku to safety, Izuku tells Mirio ab. Iida. Another Nomu corners them, after internal deliberation Mirio tells izuku to go after Iida. Finds Iida, sends location.
Two Heroes
For one, Mirio and Nighteye are there, along with Izuku.
Forest Training Camp
They take Izuku too, because he was holding Bakugo's hand
Nighteye asks to see Allmight's future and allmight declines. Hes going to do it no matter what the future says, and he refuses to set it in stone by seeing it
Mirio is part of the rescue squad, 50% bc he's the one who will take the fall for the whole thing with his license. Besides, he knows about All for One, and it's his duty as a wielder of One for All to at least try to help his mentor.
"I mean, I could have just taken the boy's arm. But those nasty scars tell me hes very much seen the worst humanity has to offer. Perhaps he'd like to join as well."
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