#the down side is someone will say a word casually in real life bc thats how the word is used

[red-dyed-sarumane]

u can learn japanese from vocaloid songs but watch out

[allamericanb-tch]

only the brave thoughts (2)

chapter 7

regulus being overstimulated by the mail is so real

ooh he got a mysterious package

“Regulus reminds himself he has to breathe.” BYE

“It takes Barty a moment, then he realises what’s causing Regulus so much distress. “Is it because I’m touching you or is it because a boy is holding your hand?”” BARTYLUS HELLO

““If you want to shag a dude, do it for you. Not to get back at him.”” you tell him reggie

ooh james pov

HELLO HE DUELED MOODY AND JOINED THE ORDER

“He’s also James’ new crush, in a platonic, you’re so impressive I want to be you when I grow up kind of way.”

james in his liar era

okay he’s giving us a recap

remuuu

wolfstar wolfstar wolfstar

chapter 8

HELLO THIS CHAPTER IS CALLED KISS ME

bartylus AND jegulus ?! show it to me rachellll

omg barty has a crush on regulus doesn’t he and evan has a crush on barty

pandora had another dream

stag ?! james ?!

i’m so invested in this omg

bartylus jump scare

HUH

ARE THEY ABOUT TO KISS

my face is legit like 😧 right now

im so nervy that someone is going to walk in and that it’s going to be james

oh me oh my they’re kissing

they’re really going at it aren’t they

STOP IM IN MY CAR RN (parked dw) AND MY WINDOWS WERE DOWN BC ITS HOT OUTSIDE AND THERE WAS A SPIDER

james sent regulus cigarettes ?! he’s so whipped

THATS WHAT THE PACKAGE WAS OH

wolfstar

what about james eyelashes

““Sirius has pretty eyes and long lashes,” says Remus casually. Sirius chokes on his juice, spills all around him. Marlene shoots him a knowing smile that he misses because he’s too busy fighting for his life.”

BYE I DROVE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD there were no other cars around and ive literally never done that before okay (im not driving rn)

oooh james following regulus out of the great hall

🎶started with a kiss oh we must stop meeting like this🎶 (they have not kissed yet sadly)

regulus hadn’t even opened the package

they’re flirting they’re flirting they’re flirting

they need to kiss so badly please

chapter 9

oh regulus

the Great British Brew-Off

dorlene ?!

“I know that Evan thinks you’re having a secret, torrid affair with Barty,”

dorcas pov ahhhh

DORCAS TELLING BARTY SHE THINKS EVAN HAS A CRUSH ON REGULUS 😭😭

dorcas is plotting

rosekiller rosekiller rosekiller

james pov

“Sirius is humming happily, completely unbothered that his knee is dangerously close to killing James’ hopes of being a father one day.”

has sirius finally realized he likes remus

chapter 10

“But in this moment, Regulus hates James Potter because he’s somehow gone and made Regulus believe that perhaps he’d show up.” GASP

come on james go get your man

james pov

snivellus eugh

i’m sorry i hate the word growl

gasp

did he just sectumsempra sirius

the way the last thing sirius said was that remus is beautiful

WAS JAMES ABOUT TO CRUCIO SEVERUS OH

“I mean. Regulus did see James shirtless and covered in blood less than twenty-four hours ago. It was way hotter than it should have been.”

oh snapes cauldron exploded did it 

platonic moonwater save me platonic moonwater

chapter 11

need james and regulus to get together

edward ?! what

omg dorcas is moving in with barty james and reg

OH ?!

i gasped the plot twist omg

omg james is sneaking out is he going to find regulus ahhhh

oh wait no he’s going to sirius

prongsfoot friendship ��️‍🩹

remus pov ahhhh

duel

oooh he’s in

ohhh it’s sirius turn im nervy

lily and remus both know james has a crush on a boy i see

pan james save me pan james 

“Fuck Sirius Black. Honestly. Also, yes. Fuck Sirius Black. He wishes.” 

they’re all in the orderrrr ahhhh

regulus pov

ooooh james is here

they’re falling off the roof together 😭

rubik’s cube hello

chapter 12

james is so determined

he’s asking mary and lily bc he knows they’re muggle born wait that’s actually so cute

oh no does lily have a crush on james 

remus tweaking when he sees sirius will never not be funny

“People are going to swoon at my feet.” they already are sirius, they already are

regulus pov

they’re on the roof again

HUH ???

ooh match time

gryffindor won

ooooh dorcas is here

i want james to leave and go find regulus

wolfstarrrr

oooooh he’s leaving i manifested this

bye regulus is being mean

omg they’re going flying together i can’t just stop reading here can i

chapter 13 

this needs to be my last chapter today

omg

LAVENDER I KNEW IT DID I NOT SAY THIS WOULD COME UP LATER

guys i’m freaking out rn (pos)

REGULUS JUST DROPPED JAMES OFF OF THE BROOM

omg he caught him

KISS

regulus talking to minnie jump scare

regulus just casually researching tom riddle

dorlene dorlene dorlene dorlene dorlene dorlene dorlene dorlene

rghhhhh

[muwur]

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

 oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡  “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡  “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself  

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial.  You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more  of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get  to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u  or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it  right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note  rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all  , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

[boycottmilk]

no one fucking cares enough to read the content of my messages, they just assume its in a rude yelling tone when literally im just saying facts and each part of the essays i write to finally put words to my thoughts niw that i have someone other than hades to look after, and they dont want me to even say theyre name. they were m whole kife and reason for living to take care of them. i knew theyd choose chey over me but to break it off so fast like it was nothing, like i wasnt doing full service to get them the quality of life thats below what they deserve, i mean they deserve so much more, so i guess, leaving them monthly checks the same to them, ill never stop loving and supporting them as a sister, but ruck im angry that they didnt even read or care about me writing a long message to their girlfried about how shes disrespected and ungreatful to a degree that she doesnt care about my health that i sacrifice to make the 20 minute walk and hour round trip to see them. that i do full service to get them cloths or help with whatever. i know its petty cash but being this disabled and in poverty it takes so much out of me, and its worth it because we grew up together and my whole reality is based on them. im gonna kill myself and these babies that are as big as a russet potato. i can feel at least 3 of them when i press down. it was supposed to be hades getting pregnant rirst with chey whos said to my face and behind my back she doesnt want me involved in her life or her childrens. i thiught we were friends until hades needed alone time for the first time in 2 years and told chey to stay at my place and she said, that worse.

i know they think im in the wrong for saying why shes disrespectful and why hades deserves better, but im nice er and amacable and not cruel or mean, and chey takes that as my whole identity, being stupid and slow and distant but also anything i share is oversharing. she said once she cant stand to look at me because of my scars. never agnoledged that im so disabled i need a wheelchair and she has me walk far with her and a quick pace because i dont complain. just be kind and nice. why is that gaslighting. why is that cruel. the only thing that matters in the world are actions and spoken words, regardless of the reason. hades and i broke up. chey was never my bestie in the first place bc my kindness and respectful listening wasnt enough. shes gonna have babies with my life partner and i just have to move on.lyla broke up with me when she heard the woed pregnant. ryan mitchel montgomery stood by my side for 4 days straight when all i asked was help doing laundry cause i was losing my mind and my health rapidly bc this is too much to deal with. what part of that is cruel? chey has a home with a family that loves her and can leave, this is hades personal voucher.i knew i wouldnt barely be involved bc chey doesnt want me to raise her kids, shes said that, after 8 years of us holding on to eachother and nothing wlse kept us alive but planning a family... i hope they find freedom and happyness without me bc aparently they cant deal with me being half as rude as they always are. im okay and accepting with theyre communication style and cheyenne cant stand it, more than that chey thinks she knows ades more because she dated them for like a year in highschool. i was there the day they broke up until the day they got back together,. i knew id raise my kids on my own with hades as a babysitter and our children being siblings. im too hesrt broken over hades, lyla, cheyenne, ryan, tabetha, none of them care about me anymore now that i have a reason to be pushy with not dealing with theyre stressers that theyve put on me so casually. i am kind and forgiving, but her saying my note to send to hades when i die in a few minutes or hours is gaslighting and evil and everything i told her is a lie, shows the depth of her character real well. i guess its me snd my cats, and levi and quinn, alexis and jane, my aunt andy, and im gonna live alone with their help as needed. im gonna have to try again to get pregnant on perpose when these drug and alcohol poisoned babies, with bad frostbite a broken ankle and many hard falls from it fpgiving out, and no will to live. i wish i knew sooner. goodbye all.

[baebbaeby]

(B.A.P) Boyfriend!Zelo

my sugar pie honey bunch I love this boy

Seeing him grow from his little 15 year old self to now makes my heart hurt okay LET’S DO THIS

I think it would take him a little while to get to know someone really well to be able to date them

obviously he could have a crush on someone he doesn’t really know but to be fully comfortable with putting his feelings on the table he’d have to know them really well or at least for a good amount of time

He’s definitely not as shy as he used to be but i still think he’s a little bit reserved at first

but the more you both open up to each other the sweeter it will be uwu

I feel like the type of friends Junhong makes are friends for LIFE he’s like man we ride or die 

and i think that would translate into his relationship as well

I think yall would like casually start becoming just, pillars for each other? idk how to explain it other than the word CONSTANT you know? you’d just always be there for each other

and it wouldn’t even occur to you guys that it was happening it would just be natural like ‘yeah ____ sits with me almost every night in the studio while they do their schoolwork, so what?’

‘____ and i are gonna get ice cream’

‘____ and I were out walking mochi and the craziest thing happened!!’

and you guys would just so genuinely enjoy your time together

but because it was so natural I don’t think either of you would notice that you had feelings

until one day you’re texting junhong that you feel down and next thing you know he shows up with a care package full of food and is like let’s play games and watch movies so you feel better

and then you realize your heart is beating super fast and you’re like “oh....oh...”

and for him I think it would be as simple as him looking at you while you’re not paying attention, then you noticing his gaze, smiling at him and then going back to whatever it was you were doing

that would make his heart race and make him realize how much he LIKED you even more than just as a friend

I think after both of you realizing your feelings it would get a little awkward cause you both don’t want to overthink it

but i also think he’d be afraid of ruining the friendship too if he felt like maybe it was one-sided

but since he has loads of older friends and his members to look up to, he would definitely go to them for advice and encouragement

and while you guys would still do your regular hangouts, i think he’d want to do something a little extra/different if he was going to confess to you

like i mean it in a super simple way instead of walking mochi during the day at the park he’d ask you to go at night or something

idk im imagining a place with walkways and fairy lights that has interesting stuff to look at but is also calm enough for the lil pup mochi so maybe there’s a path by a river to walk on that would be cute too

a small thing like this makes it so its still your usual walk with him but now it has a romantic feeling? so when he does this you can kind of tell that he’s going to confess

unless you’re like me in that case you would have no clue no matter what aha

and he’d confess casually while you guys were sitting on a bench looking at the river

i don’t think he’d be able to look at your face though i think he’d have to say it while looking at Mochi hahaha

and then you’d say you felt the same

and he’d be like “really?!” dhsjsanj

I think the tough part at first would be trying to be romantic when you guys had been friends

but then you’d both realize you guys were being pretty romantic/couple-y before anyway so you could stop overthinking it dammit!!

the great part about this though is that you guys could be really honest about it i think

like the first time he holds your hand while walking with you and Mochi

you’d both get really flustered

but you’d both be able to say to each other like “wow i’m so flustered why?! ahhhh” and tease each other a little bit

and then he’d tell you he liked the feeling of your hand in his  bhjhbhds

anyway i see a relationship filled with laughter with this boy

cause yall know he’s weird

in that cute weird way

where he does random stuff just to make you laugh

I honestly have no idea if this boy is experienced or not now

but i think one of his struggles would be balancing putting you or himself first

obviously im not saying he’s selfish or anything its far from that

i just think he’d struggle to see where the line is on putting someone first and doing stuff for them but also doing stuff for you

i mean if its a good relationship in the first place you guys would resolve that because you’d both encourage the other to do stuff that they wanted to do

that being said, it kinda makes it seem like he’d take you for granted BUT THATS NOT WHAT IM SAYING AT ALL GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MIND OK

cause this boy would think about you all the damn time

like how i said before you guys were just consistent in each others lives you’d be consistent in his head too he’d always be thinking about ‘oh they would like this’ or ‘i can’t wait to tell them this’

you can tell junhong has loads of respect and admiration for people that have passion

so if you were really passionate about something i think he’d love that about you and would be super interested in it no matter what it was

but i think this could kind of put you on a pedestal for him? and then he��d have a moment where he forgets that you’re also human, and we make mistakes

but i think if something like this were to happen, he’d easily realize his own mistake and honestly, if he saw how you grew and learned from yours he’d be like YES THAT IS MY S/O!! I LOVE YOU!!

okok let’s get into the cutesy stuff now

he would blush if you have a cute nickname for him hands down

even just calling him ‘baby’ he’d be like omg uwu

and then if you called him a cute name when the members are around he’d be like uwuwuwu shhhh but uwuwuwu

and then the members would all awe bc he’s the baby and he’s so cute

except jongup

jongup would be like ew

ANYWAYS

YOU BET THIS BOY HAS CUDDLE MOODS

He’d just randomly come from behind you and back hug you tightly, probably pulling you and collapsing both of you onto the couch or something

and just WRAPPING his long ass body around yours

curling your hair around his fingers

just admiring you

uwu

I also think that he would have a thing for your hands

i think he’d love to play with them whenever he could

even just holding your pinky or something idk he seems like he’d do cute stuff like that

like just kissing all your fingers one by one 

and just intertwining his fingers with yours all the time

i also think he’d have a HUGE thing for having his hand on your leg/thigh

IDK WHY IM JUST A FIRM BELIEVER THAT HE’D ALWAYS WANT HIS HAND ON YOUR THIGH NO MATTER WHAT

LIKE NOT EVEN SEXUALLY OR ANYTHING

IT’S JUST A VERY WARM SPOT plus his hands are big so no matter the size of your thighs he can still cover a good amount of area

and he’d probably pat your thighs a lot too

and then use them as a drum set

and then go back to just calmly and casually having his hand on your thigh

I don’t think he’d be super affectionate with kissing as much as he would be with the rest of his body

he’d love giving you hugs and obviously he’d be touching your hands and thighs a lot

but i think he’d low key like it if you showered him in kisses

to me though he doesn’t seem like one to do that back unless he’s in a super cuddly mood and he’s trying to tickle you by kissing you or something

HONEST TO GOD I THINK HE’D LOVE COUPLE CLOTHES

LIKE AESTHETIC FASHIONABLE COUPLE CLOTHES

HE’D DIE HE’D LOVE IT

I just think he’d be super excited to have someone he could share his work and happiness with obviously he has his friends and members and family to do that with too

but it’s definitely different when you’re in a relationship

i think he’d love to explore new things and places with you, even places he’s been before cause it would be a whole new experience with you

he’d probably like to document it too with a camera and have cute little personal vlogs that you guys could just watch back from time to time fjdknj

for some reason i have a hard time thinking about sexy stuff with him

im a pretty soft person tho sooo thats probably just me

but i also just thought about his pillow talk solo stage and hjfdk

so i really think what he does depends on his mood

so if he’s you know, feeling it

he gets real intense and its honestly kind of shocking?? but in a good way?? like oh my gOD i forgot you have this side to you

i dont think the word to describe it would be rough but more intense?? 

especially if you tease him or something he’d definitely get intense

i think he’d have a weakness if you sat on his lap/straddled him tbh [insert eye emojis]

and you know how i said he liked your thighs? he still really likes your thighs if you catch my driFT

I think it would stay intense until you guys are done

and he’d just collapse and laugh or grin into your neck making you giggle because it tickles

he’d probably end up holding your hand as he’s sleeping?? i mean since his body is so big anyway some part of him is probably going to be touching you anyway

but i think he’d love to either hold your hand, have his hand on some part of you somewhere or have your hand on him

he would just ;;;; love you a whole lot okay

OKAY THIS IS GETTING KIND OF LONG IM GONNA END IT HERE NOW

ANYWAYS JUNHONG IS A PRECIOUS HARDWORKING BOY WHO PUTS HIS HEART AND SOUL INTO EVERYTHING AND IS SO POSITIVE UGH GO STAN MY KINGS BAP