#the dni feels petty but after someone used a snippet of my post to push their kidnapper mahiru theory im not risking it

[dearmahiru-archive]

TW: discussions of suicide DNI: if you villainise mahiru or kazui

so recently my thoughts have been absolutely consumed by mahiru and kazui. specifically—i think it's really interesting how the catalyst of mahiru and kazui's murders is a trait they cannot change.

Mahiru: You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place! Es: [pauses] Mahiru: I just… I was… just being myself

Mahiru: Because I know how precious it is to be in love. The moment you love someone, you realize the beauty of the world as it changes. To not forgive me means to take the act of loving away from me. That’s the same as not being alive. It’s the same as not being able to drink water or breathe. So… if this love isn’t allowed, then I don’t mind dying.

in contrast to kazui, mahiru strongly desires love, marriage, and to have children. however, her relationship was doomed to never bear fruit because of how unhealthy it was.

it's fascinating too because while it's kazui's lies that serve as a catalyst for his murder, mahiru is portrayed as her own catalyst. it's mahiru as the noose suffocating her boyfriend and her presence alone that stresses the bluebird to point it's shedding it's feathers. mahiru's love is somethings that's so ingrained to her person that, to change, would be the same as dying.

Kazui: I despise myself for lying, too. Being a liar, you see – it’s painful. Es: Heh. Then just– Kazui: So I’ve tried to change! I’ve tried to change. I have tried to stop lying to myself and others!

and where mahiru refuses to change, kazui strongly desires to. i personally lean to the interpretation that kazui is queer in some fashion and we all know sexuality isn't something you change. like how mahiru's relationships was doomed to fail because of her love, kazui's marriage could never work because he could never romantically love his wife.

Q. What was your lover like? Mahiru: (handwriting dips) Overall, a kind person

Q. Did you love the person you killed? Kazui: (no answer)

anyway this post was brought to you by the psychic blast these two answers delivered