#the dimples are giving Tiana

[shinysparklesapphires]

twst drop a patf event with non whitewashed characters and give one dimples like tianas please I'll donate a kidney

[astr0disiac]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 4: ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴇʟꜰɪꜱʜɴᴇꜱꜱ

☆ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ:

Tiana feels as though she deserves the suffering she's endured over the past five years after the tragic loss of her husband, Naveen. But Nanami wants to prove that she is capable of giving and receiving love again.

But even the sweetest of kisses can't heal the sourest of wounds.

An office-work romance like no other, filled with love, loss, and betrayal from those Tiana thought she could trust the most.

☆ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 18,154

☆ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: implied/referenced suicide [mild], implied/referenced self-harm [mild], implied/referenced miscarriage, angst, slow burn

☆ᴍʏ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇꜱᴛ ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢɪᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴍɪꜱꜱᴘᴇʟʟɪɴɢꜱ ᴏʀ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍᴀᴛɪᴄᴀʟ ᴇʀʀᴏʀꜱ☆

Tiana wiped feverishly at the filthy table, wiping away the loose crumbs and smeared sauces to prepare for the next customer. Today had been so busy, customer after customer, relentless crowds swarming in droves, keeping her on her toes as she tended to their every need. Refills, napkins, desserts, you named it, Tiana would bring it to you with a beaming smile, her dimples adorning her cheeks with a perfect set of teeth gleaming behind her plump lips. She was happiest on busy days like this, it made the time pass way faster.

As she finished cleaning the table to the point where she got a glimpse of her own reflection, she heard the bell above the restaurant ring, signaling the entry of a new customer. Putting on a rich smile, she turns to greet them with warmth and joy.

“Welcome to Duke’s-”

And her voice gets lodged in her throat.

Everything around her goes dark, except for a single light that illuminates the dashing young man across the room. Eyes lively and expressive as ever, his paperboy hat clutched to his chest. Tiana felt a surge of emotions come forth as she looked at his familiar face. He held this goofy grin, nose scrunched up like a rabbit.

“Naveen?”

Naveen holds his arms out and Tiana immediately runs into them, sobbing her heart out. She couldn’t do anything but wail into his shoulder, knowing her make-up likely ruined his white shirt. He snaked his arms around her resting his chin on the top of her head as she quaked like the earth when its plates moved. He exhaled in relief, massaging her shoulders.

“I told you I’d be back to marry you.” He smiled, pulling away from her to get a look at her face. He scanned over him with his eyes, taking in her features as if it were a breath of fresh air, as if it were the last time he would get a chance to look. Tiana continued to cry fat tears that streamed to the ground, bottom lip quivering as she tried to figure out what to say.

“Stop crying.” He cooed, wiping at her face lovingly as he chuckled. Tiana closed her eyes, not believing in her own sight, shutting them instead. Naveen took the opportunity to lean in and kiss her eyelids, Tiana whining like a wounded animal every time she felt his touch. It was like electricity coursed through every place he touched, stinging her skin, and her heart.

“You’re making a mess, my love.”

Tiana opened her eyes and looked down, realizing she had cried a puddle at her and Naveen’s feet. How could a person cry so much? It was like years of tears had accumulated at the soles of her feet.

Embarrassed, she gives a throaty laugh as she wipes her face. As she brings the back of her hand to her face, she feels something sharp poke her cheek. Brows wrinkling, she looks at her left hand, taking note of the silver band on her finger, but it wasn’t Naveen’s ring that she usually wore. It was the actual ring that he gave her when he proposed; a silver band with a small yet elegant diamond adorning the center. She stares at it, blinking rapidly as she examines it.

No rock?

The voice thunders as it echoes through the darkness, startling her as she looks around, trying to find where the disembodied voice was coming from. She looked at Naveen, who was now pressed in a classic tux.

“What did you say?” She squinted at him.

Nanami grabs Tiana’s left hand, studying the ring with a dissatisfied look on his face. He brought the hand to his lips, kissing her fingers gently.

“I said, are you sure you didn’t want another ring? This one is kind of…” He didn’t finish his sentence, but Tiana knew what he was going to say.

“Plain?” She finishes for him, hand on her jutted out hip. “It’s fine, Naveen. You know I don’t care about things like that. And I don’t want it to overpower Mama’s dress.” She says, twisting as she looks at herself in the tall mirror. She felt like a princess, each thread and layer sewn with love and care. Her mother spared no expense making this for her, it had always been her dream to make her daughter's wedding dress. She was so meticulous with her seams, the fabric giving and curving around Tiana’s body, and a veil attached to a crown. Tiana felt the dress was more than enough, and didn’t want to seem greedy by asking for more, though she knew Naveen would bend over backwards for her even if she was stubborn.

“I want to make sure everything goes exactly the way you want it to. It’s your day, my love.”

Tiana felt Naveen come behind her, snaking his arms around her waist. He buried his face into the crook of her neck as they swayed back and forth, relishing in each other’s presence.

“It’s our day.” Tiana hums, allowing her hands to rest on top of his. “It’s already more than what I could ever ask for.” She brings a hand to his hair, massaging it gently as he places gentle kisses on her collarbone. She giggled like a child as she felt this tickling sensation.

“Naveen, you know it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, right?”

He raised his face to look at hers, their noses practically touching as he grinned. “You still believe in superstitions like that?”

“In a place like New Orleans? Yes.” She teases him. Laughing into each other, Tiana takes a step forward, and steps into something wet. She looks down and see’s water resting at her ankles, causing the bottom of her handmade dress to be soggy and heavy. Gasping, she picks up the dress, water trickling back to the ground.

“Oh no, see Naveen? I told you.” She whined, feeling a bit dejected that her supposed perfect day was ruined. She turned to Naveen, who looked as if he had seen a ghost. His face was pale as if he had gotten a glimpse of Death himself, and his curls had fallen victim to gravity as they fell from their usual style. Tiana’s face was shrouded in concern as she brought a hand to his cheek, consoling him.

“Naveen, hey…I was just joking…”

“I’m sorry.” He leaned into her touch, eyes filled with sorrow. “It’s my fault that you’re like this.”

He put his large hands around her swollen belly that had been moving a lot lately, and causing her body to ache more than usual.

“Naveen, this is natural.” Tiana reassures him, looking into his brown eyes with a gentle gaze. “My back is gonna hurt, my joints are gonna swell. I’m gonna be a lot more tired, and a lot less active. It’s not your fault. I wanted this too.”

“But the restaurant. Your dream.” He sounded so upset, as if he should shoulder all the guilt for Tiana putting her life on pause. Tiana grabs Naveen’s face with both her hands, bringing his forehead to hers as if to connect their minds, and not just their hearts.

“My dream wouldn’t be complete…without you in it.” She says gently as she squeezes his cheeks. He can’t help but chuckle deeply, his laugh vibrating through Tiana’s body as well as his own. Tiana loved the sound of his laugh, it was like a hymn on a record that she’d play all day, the needle skipping over the grooves representing her own heartbeat. It was the perfect compliment to her own whenever they talked, laughed, cried, or sung together, it produced something so harmonious, so beautiful. And now those concepts would take a physical form.

“I can never live up to the legend herself, but I promise I’ll do my best at the Palace.” Naveen said, referencing her restaurant. Tiana’s cheeks turned rosy until she felt a kick in her belly that caused her to keel over with a sharp inhale. Immediately, Naveen was over her, gripping her forearms to steady her as she stood back up.

“I’m alright, I’m alright.” She says, holding the base of her back with her hand, exhaling through puckered lips.

“Let’s get you in bed. You need to rest.” Naveen says, one hand around her waist and the other almost shielding her stomach. “Hey, little tadpole, stop kicking your mother.”

“Baby, I told you to stop calling her that.” Tiana giggled, but despite her hatred of frogs, the nickname for the child had grown on her.

They waded through the water that seemed to keep rising, sloshing through the darkness until they came to their bed. After propping up a few pillows on the headboard, Naveen helped Tiana into her side of the bed, then walked to the right side, the water almost waist deep now as it kept rising. The sound of rushing water filled Tiana’s ears as she began to panic, the murky water producing a muddy smell around her. She looked over at Naveen, who was calmly crawling into bed. He scooted closer to Tiana, nuzzling his face in the space between her protruding stomach and her swollen breasts, almost immediately falling asleep. Tiana was rendered speechless that her husband could fall asleep so easily in a situation like this, the water lapping at their duvet as it left grassy stains around the edge of the bed. She grabbed his shoulder, shaking his limp body aggressively as her breathing seemed to speed up.

“Naveen? Naveen!” She yelled his name over and over, but nothing seemed to disturb his slumber, even when the water had risen past their bed, and began seeping into Tiana’s pajamas. The water was freezing, so cold that it numbed every part of her. Naveen stayed blissfully unaware as he was fully submerged in water, but Tiana bore witness to everything. She began hyperventilating, eyes flitting around in the dark. The water seemed to rise even quicker, lining with Tiana's shoulders. She stretched her neck in an attempt to keep her face above the water, but resistance was futile. The last thing she heard was her own gasps before even she was fully submerged in the green waters.

She began floating upward, only realizing this when she looked down to see Naveen still sprawled on the bed, unconscious to everything that was going on. So she swam with all her might to reach him, hands cupped and arms slicing through the murky water, but he still seemed to sink. Tiana kicked her legs sporadically, inching to him as she fought the liquid. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, she reached him, only to find that he was beyond saving.

The bed seemed to swallow Naveen whole, his lifeless body being engulfed into the mattress. Tiana grabbed his left arm, almost yanking it out the socket, refusing to let him sink any further, but it was useless. Slowly, his body continued to descend into the bed. Tiana clawed at his arm, but he continued to slip out of her grasp since she couldn’t get a good grip on him. The only thing she was able to grab off his body was his silver ring, which floated towards her so effortlessly. She grabbed it with one swipe, and just as she was about to turn to Naveen, hands began grabbing her from the heaven’s above, pulling her towards the surface.

Tiana fought against them, smacking their arms away, but she felt heavy in the water, her movements slowed as she struggled.

No, no, no!

The breath Tiana had been saving began to bubble from her throat as she tried to scream, yell, cry out, something, anything. But her struggles went unheard as she continued to be pulled upwards, watching her husband disappear within the depths.

As water filled her orifices, she tasted something metallic, the water stained with a deep red as it leaked out of her. Her stomach produced a sharp pain as she convulsed in the water, tussling with whoever dared to stop her from saving her husband. The love of her life, the daytime to her night, the sun to her moon.

She choked on the swampy water, the liquid filling her lungs as she fought and prayed that someone would get Naveen. That whatever higher power up there would have mercy on them and stop this feeling of hurt, pain, and loss.

Please, she thought as she reached her hand into the depths, unable to fight off whoever was pulling her anymore. Save them, not me.

She was tired, body heavy as it refused to keep up with her will to fight.

Save them, not me. Save them, not me. Save them, not me! Please, please, please, pleasepleasepleaseplease-

“Please!” Tiana lets out a strangled gasp as she shoots up from her bed, swallowing gulps of air as if it would be sucked away again. She looked around her room, trying to remember where she was, and where she wasn’t. What was reality, and what was a dream. She clutched her duvet to her chest, trembling as her eyes filled with tears, and the way she sobbed into her covers she was sure she would drown in them just like in her nightmare.

Her heart felt as if it were rung out and left to dry in the sun, and her stomach felt so queasy as she curled over, wiping her face aggressively to stop the tears, but they kept falling. All she could do was moan in agony, temples pulsing as the visions replayed over and over, succumbing to the overwhelming feeling of despair. She hated this, she hated this empty feeling, she hated being alone. But the one person she wanted the most had become unobtainable. 

She looked at her digital clock, the time reading 12:04am. Nanami told her he would be working late again today, so Tiana replaced her dinner plans with sleep instead, which she concluded to be one of the worst mistakes of her life. Ever since she got back from home, her dreams were plagued with different renditions of the past, but the order of events were more or less the same. The first time she and Naveen had met, her wedding day, a memory during her pregnancy, then finally the night everything went to hell; each night the ghosts of her pasts grew more vivid and violent. She always ended up drowning in her own tears, her own sorrows, and her own memories at the end. The only thing that seemed to continue on was her hollow life.

Which she had tried to end, only to fail all three times.

The first time, she tried overdosing which only led her back to the hospital to get her stomach pumped. The second time, Lottie scrambled in, sobbing into Tiana’s thighs to stop her from dangling from the ceiling, which is what led her to Japan. The third time, Nanami came to check on her at the top of the office building after she had just made up her mind to jump off.

Nanami, she thought. Sniffling, she grabbed her phone from where it was charging on her nightstand, hands shaking as she unlocked it.

He had saved her in more ways than anyone could ever imagine. Not only did he save her life, but he seemed to always save her from her own bout of loneliness.

It wasn’t the first time she had called him pertaining to her visions, because she couldn’t swallow her pride long enough to call Lottie. It had been well over two weeks, the thankful month of November had slipped into mid-December, and she was still ignoring her best friend’s calls. She told herself it was so she could spend time with her new fiancé, but she was telling such a bold lie that even the devil himself would be impressed by her tenacity.

So, when her nights turned restless, she would call Nanami, and he would answer every time, sometimes right after the first ring. The first time, she had called him on impulse, and immediately hung up the phone. He called her back in slight distress, wondering if she was alright. And she cried. She didn’t tell him all the details of her dream, just said it was a hellish nightmare, paired with the information that her sister Lottie had gotten engaged. How she felt awful that she couldn’t even find a glimmer of happiness in her heart to congratulate her sincerely. It tore Tiana apart that she couldn't find the strength to support her as Lottie had cared for her.

Tiana asked Nanami to stay on the phone with her, at least until she fell asleep. She didn’t know who else to call, and she knew the request was a strange one, but Nanami obliged without any questions. His own voice riddled with sleep in the early hours of the morning, he talked to her gently, his voice soothing her back into a peaceful dream. Tiana wasn’t sure why, but it gave her some comfort, as if someone were still sleeping next to her, talking into her ear. It reminded her of how Lottie would spend countless nights cuddled up next to Tiana to help the widow fall asleep. It gave her a sense of security she had been lacking. And Nanami, being the gentleman that he was, would stay on the phone call well past Tiana’s slumber, listening to her soft exhales through the speaker. He’d watch the sun rise, unable to sleep because the muscle pounding between his ribcage was too loud, and he would prevent his hands from shaking by balling the comforter into his fists. He wished he could do more for her, but work had gotten the best of him.

Due to the fourth quarter's ending approaching faster than expected, and his colleagues and subordinates scrambling to do extra work before the promotional event, he was thrown into countless other projects that were teamed with other departments and people. One of those people being Misha.

Nanami had worked with Misha only once before, a few years back when she was an intern and he was her admin. She was an annoying little thing, going out of her way to impress everyone with a big name around the facility. Though she did her job, and quite well for an intern too, she was always in the face of the higher ups. It annoyed Nanami to hell and back how sickeningly sweet she would act with everyone, running their errands, getting them coffee, even trying to do their work for them. Nanami thought it to be shallow, and when she tried that with him, he shut her down firmly. He hated superficial people like that who were ready to brown their nose and mouth for a raise of a couple pennies, especially when he worked the way that he did to get to where he was as quickly as possible.

This encounter led Nanami to have a negative opinion formed on her already, and when Tiana mentioned how the woman was a bother, it definitely caused him to dislike her even more. But as of late, since the party, Misha had mellowed out quite a bit.

It could have also been because the promotional season was so close, but she seemed so hyper focused on everything. She didn’t miss a beat, and when she was put in charge of the fourth quarter theme because her own party went so well, she didn’t bat an eye. Maybe it was because of the forced proximity, but Nanami couldn’t help but get to know her. Her ambitions, dreams, goals. He felt bad for prejudging her, she was truly just another human being trying to get through life by the skin of her teeth. So, as Nanami exited the building with the group of workers, he felt it would be unjust of him to voice his thoughts.

“Misha.” He called her, and she fell back from the crowd, looking at him quizzically. Her pale face was tinted with pink as she nuzzled into her scarf in an attempt to ward off the cold. Her dark eyes gazed up at him from her light brown bangs.

“Nanami?” She asks as she tilts her head.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m impressed.” Nanami says with his hands stuffed deep into his coat pockets. “I even looked at your work from way back in August. You’ve been doing well.”

“August?” Misha questions nervously. Up until recently, Misha’s work has not been her own. She swallows thickly, looking at the ground. She couldn’t properly say thank you, just bowed her head in shame. She couldn’t look into Nanami’s honest and sincere gaze.

Nanami, mistaking this action as bashfulness, smiles softly. He raises a hand, patting her shoulder while nodding his head.

“Good job. Keep it up.”

He then walks past her, the group ahead that stopped briefly to watch was riddled with whispers and giggles, but Nanami didn’t care about any of that. He was planning on leaving the crowd to their vices, head home before it got later than it already was, when Misha called his name.

“Wait, Nanami!” She exclaimed, running up to catch up with him.

“Hm?”

He turns around just as she’s back in front of him with slightly shortened breath. She clutches her arms to herself as she tries to work up the courage to make her request.

“Nanami, I-I was wondering if you were going to the bar with us tonight?” Her voice was small as she spoke, looking up at his intimidating gaze. Nanami hummed, thinking about the offer. He was a bit hungry, and he didn’t get to hang out with Tiana, nor had he for a while. He balanced out the pros and cons of going, deciding on whether it was worth it or not.

“Well…maybe I can-”

Suddenly his phone chimed. He looked at the screen, Tiana’s name accompanied with a frog emoji brightening his wallpaper. He moved his phone screen from public eyes, turning the opposite direction as he answered immediately, but Misha had already caught it.

She also caught bits and pieces of the conversation.

“Are you alright?...Of course not, I just got off…Don’t be…You don’t sound alright…”

Then there was a long pause as Nanami listened intently to each word said between wet sniffles. He then whispered lowly into the receiver, but not low enough.

“Do you want me to come over?”

Of course Tiana was quick to decline, but Nanami was much faster.

“I’m coming right now.”

He hung up the phone before she could offer a rebuttal. Misha watched him shake his head, his neck hung low. Her frown deepened. He was going over to her house? Right now?

“Nanami?” She urged him, and he turned around to face her. “Are you coming?”

She just wanted to put him on the spot in front of everyone else. But she should have known he wasn’t one to cave so easily to the pressure of his peers.

“I’m sorry, something came up. I’ll have to decline.” He said quickly, pivoting his foot to leave the other way, but she called after him, determined not to let him go without receiving a proper explanation.

“What happened?”

“I don’t have any time to explain. It’s an emergency.”

“If it’s that serious, I can come with you-” She insists, but he cuts her off.

“No, it’s not that important.”

Her frown deepens as she hides it in her scarf. “You just said it was an emergency?”

“I mean, it’s nothing for you to worry about. I will be sure to join you all next time.”

And he was gone before she could question him anymore.

“Don’t worry.” Someone said behind her, voice oozing with sympathy. “Nanami-sama is a tough nut to crack.”

“I guess.” Misha said, but she wasn’t sure that statement rang true.

Someone did in a couple months what she couldn’t do in a couple years.

Nanami’s foot was practically through the bottom of the car as he sped to Tiana’s place. He didn’t like how she sounded over the phone; restrained and tired. Downright drained, and he had a bit of an inkling why. Nanami blamed himself partly for being unavailable, the electrifying nights they used to vent out stale air and rid themselves of their grievances was replaced with late work nights and cold TV dinners. He tried talking to her over the phone, but it wasn’t the same. It felt so artificial and out of touch, and he felt the urge to hear her naturally, to be near her. But he’d allow the thoughts to be pulled out of him as he got roped back into work every night. Thoughts like that were useless, and they were leading him down places he was too fearful to tread. So he stood outside Tiana’s door, trying to work up the nerve to knock as he organized his disheveled thoughts.

He had completely lost his mind. He looked at the watch on his wrist, blowing air through his cheeks as the clock's face stared back at him. The numbers 12:43am had never looked so immodest.

This is for her, he told himself. I am simply doing her a favor.

His attempts at reassurance failed miserably as he pulled excuses out of his ass.

Running a shaky hand through his hair, he knocks rapidly on the wooden door. Tiana, who had been pacing on the other side, barefoot in her silk set and robe, paused as she looked at the door.

There’s no way, she thought. Her heart slammed against her ribcage before dropping into her lower intestines. There’s just no way.

She pattered to the door, looking out the peephole to see Nanami tired and his appearance slightly disordered from his day at work.

“There’s no way.” She muttered, unlocking the door with shaky hands. She swung it open, her hand clutched to her tightened chest as a numbing breeze combs through her home.

“Nanami.” Tiana's voice is filled with grief, and her mind is confused. Her brows narrowed, eyes puffy as she tried to keep her lips in a straight line, but Nanami could see her chin threatening to wobble. Nanami didn’t know how to respond; she didn’t sound exactly pleased to see him. Her arms were folded across her chest, she kept pressing her toes into the floorboards, and her nails seemed to dig into her robbed arms. Nanami felt frustrated, unsure of what to do next. Here he was, yet again, attempting to comfort her without a definitive plan. He felt so useless. He opens his mouth, immediately closing it as he is unable to say anything intelligible. Finally, he runs his hands through his hair, his sight finding the detailing in the doorframe quite interesting at the moment. His jaw clenched as he swallowed hard. What could he do for her right now? What could he say to her right now?

Think, think, think.

“I’m sorry.” Tiana’s voice comes out garbled, a strangled cry escaping her throat as she chokes on the words. Nanami turns to look at her, unable to understand. What could she be apologizing for?

“I’m sorry.” She seemed to gasp for air between each syllable, shaking her head as she leaned forward. She wilted with every tear that escaped her reddened eyes, the silent cry building into something much more raw as her knees gave in with each step forward.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Nanami.”

Seemingly falling into his arms, Nanami catches her with ease as she wails into his chest, clutching the fabric of his sweater. Nanami immediately goes to cradle her, an arm draped around her shoulders and one hand holding her head close to his chest as her screams are muffled in the fabric. Nanami had never heard a cry so desperate, so raw, and so painful. Each ear splitting sound rushing from the woman’s esophagus seemed to sing a wretched ballad of unadulterated misery. It felt as though each shout were piercing into his own heart as he grimaced, holding her tightly as if he could wring the pain out of her. Tiana could barely control her body, all her energy being poured into absolute hysterics as her lungs jerked in her chest, making it almost impossible to breathe properly.

“I’m sorry, Tiana.” Nanami said pained, his hair falling in front of his face as he held her tightly. Nanami hoped that the apology didn’t sound empty, insensitive, or that it was poorly timed. He meant it, and he wanted her to feel that he shared her grief, maybe not to the same extent, but that her feelings were heard, and that he would listen even if he went deaf. He would still see her even if he went blind. He would still feel her even if she wasn’t in his arms.

Nanami also apologized for the guilt.

He was sorry that he couldn’t do anything more. He was sorry that he couldn’t feel anything less.

He was sorry that he felt a sense of elatement due to her resting in his arms, even at the expense of crying herself dry.

A seed of selfishness had rooted inside his body, unbeknownst to him. And that seed was watered with the satisfaction of Tiana finally opening up to him.

“I’m sorry.”

Tiana had found refuge in the center of her brown loveseat, curled into a ball with a fuzzy blanket as her shell. She hiccuped and sniffed, trying to ease herself back into some state of tranquility as she watched Nanami busy himself in her kitchen- it was so strange, comforting, yet agonizing. Every now and then, his back looked like someone else’s, and it would send her spiraling all over again. The domestic feeling of it all was so painful that she had to gnaw on her bottom lip to keep herself sane, as if the pain produced by her teeth in her flesh was the only thing keeping her in the present.

Nanami fiddled around in the kitchen, getting acquainted with Tiana’s living area. The place was unrecognizable from the empty apartment that it was before, and it felt so warm, as if he had been embraced by a vanilla scented hug. Albeit, Tiana was holding onto him tightly a few minutes prior, and her perfume still lingered on his sweater.

The seafoam decor had been accented with different shades of brown, as if to mimic a river bed lapping at the ridges of soil that enclose it as it rushed to the next large body of water that it could find. Throw pillows, artworks of black and brown silhouettes, statuettes with exaggerated proportions, and a few candles that flickered in the abode. The bright, industrial light bulbs seemed to be replaced with warm, yellow lowlights, and if the situation wasn’t dire, Nanami would admit that there was a sensual appeal. The balcony curtains were drawn, and past the sliding door seemed to be a piece of the jungle; flora and fauna decorated the railings and floor of the balcony, the leaves swaying in the gentle night breeze. A few plants were huddled in various corners of the room, and it seemed to add a freshness to the air that was palatable. Nanami took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling gently as he poured some tea into two mugs. Grabbing them with both hands, he walks towards Tiana, whose piercing gaze he felt even when his back was turned, and settled down next to her, putting the mugs on the coffee table in front of them. Tiana shuffled to sit up, escaping the blanket briefly to grab the steaming cup. She blew gently over the top of the scorching beverage, not sure of how to proceed. She felt overwhelmed, yet at ease simultaneously, and that mixture of emotions made her head throb at the contradiction.

“I’m-” Tiana hesitates, not wanting to get into another quarrel with Nanami, who told her to stop apologizing before he ordered her to sit on the couch. An airy laugh leaves her nose as she shakes her head.

“I’m glad you’re here.” She admits, staring into the cup as the steam from the drink fanned across her face with heat.

“Of course.” Nanami said, leaning his back on the couch as he stared up at the ceiling with a half smile of sorts. “That’s what I’m here for.”

“I thought you were here to keep interns like me out of trouble?” Tiana jokes, though it was a bit half-hearted.

“I mean, there’s that too…” Nanami prods Tiana’s side gently with his elbow. “But I’ll always be there.”

That line made Tiana feel sick. That line will always be a lie no matter who’s mouth it slipped from.

The two sat there, restrained by their own thoughts as the silence settled in the room, so quiet that you could hear the flames flickering in the candles. So quiet that both of them were mortified that the other would hear their heart drumming in their chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Nanami asked gently, looking at her with a soft gaze. Tiana’s mouth dried up, so she sipped on her tea silently as Nanami waited patiently for her to respond. He didn’t want to push her, if all she needed was someone around then he would be that. The door was open, and it was her decision to shut it.

“What do you think of love, Mr. Nanami?”

Nanami paused the mug right before the heated glass grazed his lips, blinking rapidly.

What was he to make of a question like that?

“What do you mean?” He asked, putting the mug back down, and turning his shoulders to face the blanketed woman. She shuffled uneasily, tucking her feet into the blanket as she turned to him as well, her knees gently prodding his thigh as she turned.

“I mean-” Tiana spoke softly, leaning her head on the couch as she looked at him. She looked so delicate. “I’m sorry if this sounds a bit intrusive, but have you ever loved someone?”

Nanami paused, memories of his teen years flashing briefly before his eyes. He tilted his head as he looked at her with sincerity.

“I think I almost did.”

Tiana’s eyebrows jolt on her forehead in a bit of confusion.

“Almost?”

Nanami gave a weary smile, propping his arm on the couch as he leaned into the palm of his hand.

“I lost them before I could fully figure that out.”

“Oh…” Tiana’s voice wavers. She didn’t think Nanami might have experienced the same level of loss she has. But a part of her felt seen that he admitted that to her, empathetic, and felt their connection reach a whole ‘nother depth.

“It’s okay, I was just a kid then…” Nanami brushes it off. “I was too afraid back then to take that chance.” Nanami ponders for a moment, tilting his head as he looks into her big brown eyes.

“I regret that.”

“How so?”

“Isn’t it better to have loved and lost, than to never experience it at all?”

Tiana’s bottom lip jutted out, the statement gutting out her wretched insides.

“To love and lose, or to never give or receive it; both will leave you emptier than an alcoholic’s wine glass.” Tiana let out a dry laugh, her head lolling to the side. “Substance always being poured into you, but you’re emptied just as quick. It’s never enough. Just a temporary high that feels like the space underneath hell when you come down.” She rambled on like drunkard.

Tiana looked at the blonde, glancing over his face to watch his reaction. The way his brows furrowed, the way his eyes zipped across her face with concern. The small points of contact; the way his thigh seemed to jitter as her knees gently pressed into them. The shortened proximity, how Tiana could smell a hint of mint from his mouth from the tea, how her home seemed to be infiltrated with the smell of cedarwood that complimented the earthy tones of her home. That fact that her space was being occupied by a man after God knows how long made her chest tighten with how familiar yet foreign the sensation was.

Tiana didn’t love Nanami. Not in the slightest. She doubts she ever truly could. But she loved his company. She loved the fact that he provided her a sense of security. She loved that she could call on him at any time of the day or night, and he would be there to lend her a shoulder to cry on.

Yet she hated that dependency. She hated that when he wasn’t around, she seemed to sink back into her loneliness. He kept that at bay for her, and she would forever be grateful for his kindness, and that kindness would be paired with an immense amount of guilt.

Nanami was her high. Nanami was her alcohol, and without him she would have to suffer in sobriety as she battled against the truth.

Unbeknownst to her, she had become an alcoholic, abusing the substance that was his kindness to ease her own discomfort. She couldn’t help but wonder if Nanami was aware of this; he was far from a dumb man. But if he was aware, wouldn't he have drawn the line tonight? Wouldn't he have stated his boundaries, or uncomfortability?

She felt obligated to ask him this, as if it were to test the theories residing in the back of her mind.

“There’s nothing more endlessly beautiful, yet endlessly terrifying than loving someone. Don’t you think so, Nanami?”

Nanami paused as Tiana looked for some sort of reaction. The twitch of a leg, the jolt of the brow, the flicker of the eye, maybe even an audible slip up or a sign of blush. But Nanami stared back at her with intent as if to study her like a subject. His eyes were low as he looked back, maybe from drowsiness, maybe from feeling sly; she couldn’t tell. The answer he gave was much more surprising than Tiana could ever guess.

“I wouldn’t know yet.” He said it was as calm as a summer breeze.

“Yet?”

“I would like to.” He shrugs with a low chuckle, and though she was looking for Nanami to slip up, she ended up reacting with the crinkle of her nose. “I’m not getting any younger, and the thought of sharing my retirement with someone has its appeal.” Nanami hums. The question peppers on Tiana’s tongue, itching to get out.

“How old are you, Nanami?”

Humored, Nanami answers.

“28.”

Tiana blew air from her nose. “About a year younger than you but it feels like I’ve lived almost two lifetimes.”

“One in love, one in grief?” Nanami asked, and Tiana nodded.

“It’s a lot for a woman turning 27.”

“When?”

“Hm?”

“When is your birthday?”

“Why?” Tiana leans her head as she laughs gently. “Planning on doing something nice for me?”

“And if I was?”

“Hmph.” Tiana huffs, her eyes in a playful squint. “December 25th.”

“On Christmas?” Nanami asked, his brows arched in surprise. “That’s so soon.”

Tiana tried not to let her expression fall. “You’re going somewhere, aren’t you?” Nanami nodded.

“Visiting family. I was going to get back on the 25th, the day before the banquet, but I can-”

“Oh, stop fussing.” Tiana said, swatting at him playfully, but her heart seemed to crumble. She couldn’t go home, she wasn’t ready yet. But since Naveen passed, Lottie wouldn’t dare let her spend the day alone, especially since Tiana had no one of blood relations left in her corner. Having Lottie, Travis, and Mr. La Bouff kept the bleakness away, but it started feeling like babysitting to make sure the seasonal depression didn’t overwhelm her. The joyous holiday that was aimed to be filled with a family of three turned into a pain for one person alone to bear.

So she leaned her head on Nanami’s shoulder, sighing deeply as she closed her eyes.

“You’re here right now. That’s enough.”

“The day I get back.” Nanami said. “We’ll do something. I promise.”

Tiana didn’t believe in promises, but something told her it was okay to put her faith in this one.

Tiana would just shove this memory into her personal flask, whipping it out to sip from whenever she needed it.

Nanami’s skin was flushed so warmly that he felt cold, as if a fever had overtaken his being. Noticing how tense he was, and how that may be uncomfortable for Tiana, he sank into the couch, pushing his back into the seat as he closed his eyes as well.

Nanami couldn’t help but think everything over, his thoughts swarmed by the dark skinned woman next to him. Those brown eyes that shone like a bushel of constellations, her nose that crinkled when she smiled an actual smile; Nanami had come to the fact that she was pretty a while ago. But it seemed that everything she did was draped in grace, a softness that couldn’t be mimicked, and he slowly found himself finding even the most mundane things beautiful. These past few days, he couldn’t help but think about their small interactions, playing them over and over as he found new details etched in them. The way her words sung a melancholic song, the way her eyes would brighten when he took her to dine someplace new, and she would start spilling cooking techniques and facts that would amass the same dish. Even now, he was going over the little things. The weight of her head on his shoulder, her soft breaths that lacked the aggressive hiccups from before, the way her right hand covered her left so intricately to hide the wedding band as if it were a secret, the way his senses seemed to be consumed by her. Those little things had stacked up on his chest into something unbearably heavy, and the weight made him want to choke.

He knew where this was going. He didn’t want it to go this way, but the doom lying within his heart wasn’t the only thing he had been feeling as of late.

He didn’t want to fall for her, at least not without her permission. Nanami knew that she was still grieving hard, a part of her frozen in time alongside the man she once loved. He knew that she had grown dependent on him, more than a subordinate should. God, even the word “subordinate” made him want to gag, the power imbalance making what his heart seemed to crave so badly so childish and unrealistic. But he liked moments like these. Moments when the two of them seemed to be in their own bubble and those titles didn’t matter, and to them they never really did matter. Moments like these where he used her misery as an excuse to dote on her. He’s always wanted to be wanted, and God dammit, the method was unorthodox and shameful but he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t sure if he craved connection, or interaction.

Both of them were selfish in their own right. Both of them felt immense guilt for using the other to fill their own voids.

How could one ease their own iniquity right now?

“I lost the love of my life, and the life created from that love in one single night.” Tiana’s voice seemed to break as she opened her eyes to keep the visions at bay. “I wanted to love and be loved for a long time, even after death. But he’s gone, they’re gone. A part of me went with them.”

A warning, Nanami thought. He looked down at her only to be met with those beautiful brown eyes, ones that he seemed to be enraptured in. They were so close that Nanami could see himself reflected in them. Nanami wondered what he looked like to her, what those wide brown eyes saw when she looked at him. A friend? A boss? A close confidant?

A replacement?

“I think that can still happen.”

“Hm?”

“That you can still love and be loved.” Nanami’s voice was low, and his minty breath tickled her face. “It’s not a ridiculous request, every human being with a soul craves that.”

Nanami had a soft look about him when he said that, and Tiana listened in earnest as he continued to speak.

“You lost a part of yourself. Not all of it.”

Hope, Tiana thought to herself. Nanami looked so honest here, and his tongue was as keen as ever. Unable to hold her gaze anymore, she rested her head back on his shoulder.

“You’re hopeful.” She says.

“I’m just being logical.” He retorts just as fast, and she laughs softly.

“And cheeky.” Tiana says, raising her pointer finger, and poking his cheek. She let her hand fall heavily back into place as her eyes fluttered closed. She felt her body grow tired in one swoop, as if she had exhausted the last of her energy.

“Oh, you think so?” Nanami said, a sort of sarcastic feel still radiating off of him as Tiana tried to force her eyes open to no avail. She weakly hummed a response.

“Mhm.”

Nanami chuckles as he watches Tiana try to ward off the sleep.

“Tiana, just go to sleep.”

“No.” She refused.

“Why not?”

“I don’t wanna.” She mumbled, her eyebrows knitted tightly on her forehead. “You’re going to leave.”

Sighing softly, Nanami pressed his finger into her brows, and they immediately relaxed.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” He says gently, sinking into the couch and closing his own eyes. “Scout’s honor.” He says with a weak smile.

I’ll hold you to that, Tiana wanted to say, but her mouth refused to move. All she could do was let sleep wash over her, the feeling akin to a warm bath instead of the usual fear for what lies beyond.

She winced, sunlight piercing into her closed eyes as she shakily sat herself up. Once out of the beaming sun, she allowed her dry eyes to open slowly. Somehow, she ended up sprawled on the couch, the blanket tucked around her. Smacking her lips, she looked around, immediately noticing the absence of a specific presence.

“Nanami?” She called groggily, her throat a bit raspy. But he wasn’t there. She was alone. She put her face in her palms, the ring cooling her warm skin as her head throbbed.

“Shoot.” Tiana mumbled into her hands. God, was she really expecting for him to still be there when she woke up? If it wasn’t for the faint smell of his cologne on her blanket, she would have thought she made the whole interaction from last night up in her head to find a way to cope with her nightmares. Despite waking up feeling like absolute garbage, she actually slept through the night for the first time in weeks. She rubbed her face aggressively, massaging her temples and forehead as she tried to knead the headache from her skull.

She looked over to the clock hanging on the wall, the face reading 9:37a.m. 

“Shoot!” Tiana yelled, scrambling up, tossing the blanket aside. She was supposed to be at work three hours ago. But as soon as she jumped to her feet, the room seemed to tilt.

“Oh-” She voices her surprise as she plops back onto the couch, feeling defeated. She couldn’t just sit here and ditch work, she would have to properly call in, but she will definitely be penalized for it. As she tried to figure out where the last place she had her phone was, her door made four consecutive beeps.

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Someone was entering her password. 

A long beep sounds, followed by the unlocking and opening of her front door. She sits there gobsmacked as Nanami walks in with two bags, and in much more casual clothes compared to last night; jeans and a sweater.

Tiana’s heart gets lodged in her throat as she looks at him in bewilderment.

“Good morning.” He says, bumping the door closed with his hip as he makes his way to the kitchen. Tiana couldn’t even give him a proper greeting, the words lashing out before she had a chance to control them.

“You said you would be here.”

Nanami pauses, looking at Tiana from across the room, who felt as if she were going to pop any second. Why would she say that? Was she really that lonely that something as simple as this would piss her off?

“I’m sorry, Tiana.” Nanami was quick to apologize for going back on his word. “Your fridge was pretty empty, so I-”

“No, nope, nope. Stop.” Tiana halts him hastily, putting her hands up as if to physically stop his words from reaching her ears. “Don’t apologize. I’m sorry, I think I’m still sleepy.” She says as an excuse, mushing her own face.

Nanami gave a soft smile, watching the sun brighten her skin to the point where it looked like bronze, and her eyes seemed to flicker back a shimmering gold. He turns back to one of the bags, unpacking one of them.

“What’s that?” Tiana calls.

“Breakfast.” Nanami says, glancing over the different items. Milk, eggs, sliced ham, a tomato, a few whole fruits.

“You’re making it?”

“Well, you helped me on Thanksgiving. I’ve been wanting to return the favor.” He hums, then gestures towards her. “It’s nothing fancy like your food, but you aren’t in the condition to do so.”

“Ah, that’s right. I have to call in.” Tiana says, the stress returning.

“Don’t worry about that.” Nanami says cooly as he rummages around the kitchen. Thankfully he familiarized himself with the items last night.

“Don’t you have to go to work too?” Tiana asks.

“I called out sick.” He says, finding the spatula, and pointing it towards her. “And so did you.”

“I-I did?” Tiana was confused, the news was new to her.

“I’ve never taken a sick day, so I have plenty stacked up. Misha took care of you once I asked her to.”

The name made Tiana feel bitter, and she frowned slightly. She never wants to owe that woman anything. So to ward off her name like a bad omen, she changes the subject.

“How did you know my password?”

“I asked you before I left.” He says matter-of-factly, thinking back to the early hours in the morning. “You were kind of out of it, and you were sweating a bit in your sleep. I picked up some medicine too, so go shower and get comfortable.”

Tiana looked at him, dumbfounded at how he could be so casual about this. Maybe she had him all wrong, maybe he was simply looking out for her with no kind of romantic interest at all. But even so…

“Alright. Just don’t burn the place down.” Tiana says, lacking the energy to refuse. As she got up, trudging to her room with her back to the kitchen, she missed the flustered look on Nanami’s face. He felt his face redden in bated frustration as he tried to focus on the task at hand.

Tiana sits on the floor of the tub, the chilling water streaming down her body as she tries to cool it. Despite the knob being turned all the way to the right, her body still felt overbearingly warm, so hot that she was sure steam would rise from her skin. Her headache slowly dissipated as the water was soaked into her scalp. She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself and allowing her forehead to rest onto her knees. 

Despite trying his hardest, Nanami couldn’t focus in the slightest. His mind kept drifting to last night and right now. Over and over, his brain kept reminding him of the things he would never dare to say if he weren’t so tired, things he would never admit in the daylight as those words were more comfortable nestling in the dark. He gritted his teeth, wanting so badly to bash his face into the pan of eggs that were now a bit too dark to be considered edible. Swearing under his breath, he grabs the pan and tosses it into the steel sink, running the cold water immediately. The pan hisses like a threatened viper, steam rising and clouding the kitchen. The smell of burnt eggs replaced the vanilla scent, and Nanami began fanning the dense air. As he fanned aggressively, Tiana’s bedroom door swung open, her face tighter than a pair of spandex. She marches over to the balcony, throwing the doors open as a crisp winter breeze rushes into the room.

She turns to face Nanami, her arms folded over a plain shirt and cardigan, a fitted pair of jeans hugging her hips. Nanami grimaced, feeling as small as a child awaiting their parents' chastisement. Her gaze was fierce as her eyes darted around the smokey room.

“Ken, don’t worry about it. I’ll do it.” Immediately, Tiana was in the kitchen, hands tying her hair into a low ponytail as she gently pushed him out of her area. Nanami was baffled, and so embarrassed that he began stammering.

“W-wait- Tiana, no-”

“It’s alright.”

“I’m sorry…we can just go out?”

“I don’t know, Ken…” Tiana said, eyes closed as she rubbed her temples. 

“No please, it’s on me.” Nanami begged, his cheeks growing pink. He couldn't believe that be flubbed up so badly, especially when Tiana wasn’t feeling well and most likely hungry. Not only that, she’s a literal chef. She could shred him to pieces for messing up such a simple dish, not to mention staining her kitchen.

“Mmmm…” Tiana thought about it long and hard, but ended up giving up. She didn’t feel like cooking right now, which was saying a lot. “Alright, alright. But let’s make sure it’s close by. My head still hurts a little.”

“Ah…” Nanami scrambles to find a bowl, then using the knife that he was previously using on the cutting board, he scoots the fruits into the glass. He then grabs the medicine off the counter and hands both to her.

“Here.” He says quickly, and Tiana was amused at how he was breaking so easily. “Take this and snack on these while I clean up my mess.”

Tiana obliged, shooting him one more dirty look, although it was a playful one. She then sits on the couch, and follows her instructions. She takes the prescribed dose, and begins to snack on the delicately cut fruits as she watches Nanami fumble around the kitchen, grumbling under his breath. Despite the numbing cold whisking around the room because of the opened balcony door, his face refused to cool. Tiana giggles, her feet tapping on the wood floor as she watches.

“I’m sorry, again, really.” Nanami apologizes yet again, scrubbing the pan as he watches the residue swirl down the drain.

“It’s okay, Nanami.” Tiana shakes her head to reassure him.

“I can get you a new set, if you would like?”

Tiana’s mouth twists to the side as her nose scrunches, and Nanami’s lips fold inward.

“Oh, don’t give me that look.” Nanami exasperates, gently placing the pan back into the sink. “I know that look.”

“There’s no amount of money that could replace those, Nanami.” Tiana laughs softly, tilting her hand as she watches the usually stoic man fill with panic. That set was a gift from her mother when she opened the restaurant, but Nanami didn’t need to know that.

“Oh-” Nanami sounded taken aback, swallowing hard. Tiana picks up her empty bowl, walking to the kitchen. She pats him on his shoulder, dropping the empty bowl into the sink as she fills it with scalding hot water. The stains weren’t too bad, so she decided to let him off easy today.

“Hey, it’s fine. We’ll just let it soak.” Tiana says softly. Nanami just nods silently as he begins cleaning up everything else, wiping down the counters and the stove. Turning on her heels, she walks to her room to put on warmer clothes.

“I’ll be back.” She hums, shutting the door gently. Moments later, she comes out in a red winter trench and black knee high boots, paired with a scully, hat, scarf, and gloves. She closes the balcony door as Nanami begins putting his shoes on as well. Tiana looks over Nanami’s outfit once, and gives him a quizzical look.

“Nanami, where’s your coat?”

“The rest of my stuff is in the car. I’ll grab it once we head down.” He says. Tiana simply nods.

When they step outside, the air seems to bite and nip at Tiana’s flesh even with all of her winter gear on. New Orleans got cold at times, being near the gulf and all sometimes it would snow a bit, but this type of chill was different. It felt much crisper, much cleaner, and it was almost too cold to properly breathe. She tucked her face into her scarf as Nanami opened the passenger door for her, letting her slide in. Nanami didn’t even offer her the option of walking, maybe it was because she didn’t feel good, or maybe it was because she was shaking like a leaf. Either way, the little fear that seemed to accumulate in the pit of her stomach was pushed aside once Nanami started the car, the heat on full blast and the seats warming up.

“This isn’t your car.” Tiana said, recognizing the peanut butter color.

“I grabbed a company car this morning, that’s why it took so long.” Nanami said, pulling out of the parking lot. “Never know who might be watching.”

Tiana nodded, settling into her seat. If word got out about this, it would surely cause problems, no matter what she said. How would you even properly excuse something like this? No matter what angle you looked at it, it would always be interpreted wrong.

The drive wasn’t long, about five minutes from the complex, courtesy of both of their hunger and because Nanami didn’t want to keep her in the car longer than she needed to be. They stopped at a simple noodle bar, the restaurant quite packed because of it being lunchtime with people trying to escape the cold. The two were seated, and immediately dove into their own world, talking about this and that. Despite his curiosity, Nanami didn’t ask about the details about what Tiana said last night; he got the general picture. Tiana’s heart felt warmed by this, so warm that her voice seemed to have an extra shot of pep in it. So warm that the lights seemed a bit brighter. Warmer than the steaming food that was placed in front of them. Times like this felt good to her.

She hoped they felt good to him as well.

The two left the restaurant, buzzed with pure energy, and Tiana’s ailments seemed to have whisked away in the winter wind. The two decided to just walk around, Tiana humming a holiday song as their shoes scuffed the pavement. Nanami chuckled lightly, wisps of air escaping his mouth as a gust of wind blew by, causing both of them to clutch their hats to their scalps tightly.

“Whew!” Tiana laughed, adjusting her hat and scarf, shoving her hands deep within her pockets. Nanami chuckles, glancing down at her.

“Had enough yet?” Nanami asks.

Tiana pretends to ponder on the question.

“Mmmm…? No.” She says with a bright smile, her cheeks plump as her eyes squeeze close. Nanami was amused; he was so glad to see that bright smile back on her face. His eyes softened as he walked beside her, yet a step behind so that he may follow wherever she decided to lead him.

As the two walked, Nanami overheard some familiar voices, one so peppy that it drowned out the opposing, melancholic tone. He stops, but Tiana keeps strolling, not paying attention. Turning towards the voices on the opposite side of the road, he sees a head of white, followed by a head full of raven colored hair. Though those blue eyes were dressed in dark tints, he knew they were piercing through him as they turned towards each other at the same time.

“Oi, Nanami!” Gojo called, waving energetically.

“Tiana.” Nanami calls through chattering teeth. Luckily, she was standing slightly ahead of him, one of the street advertisement signs conveniently blocking her body from view.

“Hm?” She calls, stopping to turn around.

“What time is it?”

“Mmm…” She takes out her phone, glancing at it once over. “12.”

“Na-na-min-kun!” Gojo sings out, practically jumping up and down, waving his arms around sporadically.

“They don’t usually take lunch this early.” Nanami says, turning towards Tiana, walking to her nonchalantly.

“Nanamin!” Gojo calls again. “Didn’t you see me?” The man begins skipping across the street, leaving Getou by his lonesome.

Nanami gritted his teeth as he hooked arms with Tiana, pulling her along gently. All of Sendai could see that fool.

Tiana, taking note of the voice and Nanami’s sudden desperation to leave, turns to see Gojo hot on their heels.

“Is that-?” Tiana turns back around, keeping her feet in time with Nanami’s. “Is that Gojo-sama?”

Nanami squints his eyes, but doesn’t reduce his walking speed, weaving through the people. “When did you start using Japanese honorifics?”

Tiana gives him a dumbfounded look. “Are you really asking that right now? Why are we running to begin with?”

“So he doesn’t get the wrong idea.”

“I think it’s too late for that, Nanami-sama.”

Nanami’s cheeks seem to puff up as he refuses to look at the brown woman, who had such a cheeky air about her.

“Don’t patronize me.”

The two take a sharp right, turning the corner into a bricked alleyway. The two pressed their backs onto the cool building as the crowd of people whirled by, both breathing a bit heavy as white clouds puff from their mouths. Tiana tucked her lips into her scarf while Nanami peaked subtly around the corner. Nanami heard Gojo call him a few more times, before finally hearing Getou’s voice.

“Satoru.” Getou sounded out of breath.

“I swear I saw Nanami going this way.” Gojo said.

“So what?” Getou questioned.

“So? That little shit never takes sick days. He’s skipping out on work.”

Nanami, feeling offended by Gojo’s statement, gears up to go defend himself. The one day he takes a day for himself, to aid someone in their hour of need (though they were just going on a winter stroll) was his choice, especially when Gojo seemed to take whatever days off as he pleased. But before Nanami could even take half a step forward, Tiana grabs his arm. He looks down to see her shaking her head, a strong “no''. Nanami frowns, settling back into the wall as if he meant to melt into it.

“As if you don’t do the same.” Getou goes to Nanami’s defense, and for once, he feels grateful.

“It looked as though he were on some sort of escapade with Tiana.”

“I thought she was sick?”

“Guess we have two slackers on our hands.”

Now, it was Tiana’s turn to fume. Slacker? Oh, she was far from it. Little did they know that she had been doing work that was beyond her pay grade, leading to long days and sleepless nights. She worked like a dog from sun up to sun down, never looking for praise nor sympathy. When did those attributes make her a slacker?

Nanami, watching her boil over, put his hand on her shoulder, shaking his head in return. Tiana cuts her eyes, grumbling as she leans onto the wall, looking the opposite way.

“Stop that.” Getou says, his voice receding in the opposite direction. “You know that’s not true, and even if it was, so what?”

Tiana’s ears perk up as she catches Getou’s last few words before his and Gojo’s presence completely disappear.

“She’s been through enough already.”

The two stand there silently, side by side as their minds attempt to catch up with their bodies in the present. Nanami glances at Tiana, who is staring at her shoes, neck bent in an awkward downangle as her hair falls over her face. Nanami sighs, hooking arms with Tiana once again, leading her out of the dim alleyway.

“Come on.” Nanami says, his face tucked into the collar of his jacket. Tiana doesn’t say anything, abiding by his request and following him.

The two walk in silence, their sides pressed together as warmth accumulates between them. The space between them shrunk even more when the two of them ended up putting their hands in their own pockets, limbs seemingly entangled; if it weren’t for the opposing colors of their coats, Tiana wouldn’t know where her arms began, and where Nanami’s ended.

“Thank you, Nanami.” Tiana said gently.

“Hm?” Nanami was pulled from his thoughts, as he looked at Tiana. “Oh, of course.”

The wind blew a bit harsher as the two seemed to force themselves through the air as they walked. The sun seemed to dim as a few stray clouds rolled in.

“I don’t think you understand, Nanami.” Tiana retracted her arm, her side feeling barren and cold, but inside she felt full. The people around them kept passing by, but the two seemed to be standing in their own little gap of the world as they faced each other.

“You’ve been so much of a help to me since I got here.” Tiana said, pulling a loose strand of hair from her lips as it clumped on her gloss. “I…didn’t think this change would be good for me, but here I am, standing here and now because of you.”

Nanami’s heart seems to stall. Tiana looked so serene standing there, bundled in the whipping wind with tinted cheeks and a plump smile.

“You quite literally saved my life.” The words seemed to spill before Tiana properly thought about them. “All because you listened to me…thank you.”

A white flurry falls from the sky.

Then five, and then a dozen. Then a continuous descent of soft snowflakes from the grayish sky. A few people who walked by gasped, or voiced their joy as snow finally graced the land of the rising sun.

Tiana and Nanami both stare up towards the heavens, watching a soft blanket of white fall to the earth at a steady pace. Both stare in childlike awe and wonder, ignoring the numbing feeling that their skin produced on the outside in favor of the hearth warming them up on the inside.

“The first snow.” Nanami exhaled softly as he looked at Tiana. She was salted in white, her clothes staining slightly with droplets as the snow clung to her and melted.

Tiana playfully blows a puff of air, watching the snow whisk around her face. As if to combat her, the wind blows back sharply, snatching her scully off. She squints her eyes, hiding her face within her scarf to shield herself. Her hair rustles wildly around her face, no doubt akin to a nest on the top of her head now that her hat hair was revealed.

She uses her gloved hand to push it back into place as best she could, pulling her scarf over her nose as Nanami laughs. With a single movement, he swipes his own scully off, and uses both hands to snuggly place it over Tiana’s head as she huddles over in the cold. He gently tucks the swaying strands behind her ears before pulling the hat over them in a secure manner.

Tiana shivered, but it was only because she was cold.

Arms guarding herself, she looks up at Nanami, whose hair was tossed and unkempt in the wind, blonde strands entangled with delicate snowflakes. His face was flushed across his cheeks and nose, a vibrant streak of red as an infectious smile spread across his lips, crinkling the corners of his mouth and eyes. His blonde eyelashes were adorned with white snowflakes, and Tiana felt a wretched feeling tear through her. Her eyes seemed to burn, as if she were staring directly into the sun.

“Thank you, Tiana.”

The two found themselves back at Tiana’s place after carefully dodging other employees, shaking off the water and snow at her doorway as they entered the vanilla scented home. They remove their shoes, feet pattering on the wood as Nanami makes his way to the couch, and Tiana finds herself in the kitchen. She so desperately needed to do something with her hands, something to take her mind off of what she saw when Nanami looked at her, or rather what she felt when Nanami looked at her.

So she decided to make hot chocolate. A simple sweet beverage that could melt even the coldest of hearts with just one sip. She stood there, stirring the milk in with semi-sweet chocolates, watching the white shift hues into a hazelnut color. Anything to keep her mind from drifting to that expression, the number of snowflakes that had rested on his half lidded eyes, the feeling that seemed to make her stomach churn. She couldn’t bring herself to talk to him right now, so she just stirred in silence as he leaned against the armrest.

After pouring the drink into two mugs, dressing them in whipped cream, and bringing them to the living room that the two had become rather acquainted with over the past 24 hours. But Tiana didn’t sit next to him, she simply put the mug in front of him and found herself on the couch adjacent to his. Not wanting to sit in the weighted silence, she turns on her TV to distract herself with the vibrant, flickering images.

“Have you ever seen snow?” Nanami asked as he held onto the warm mug.

“Only a few times.” Tiana said behind the drink, not looking at him. She didn’t go into detail, so Nanami just nodded his head, turning to the TV as well. She was putting up that wall again, that sort of bubble that encased her vulnerability. He didn’t pry, just waited patiently for when she decided to share that part of her, if she decided to share that part of her at all.

And like a bee to a flower, she found herself giving up a piece of her heart without any rhyme or reason.

“It was a special occasion.” She said, still looking at the TV. “Ma would make some hot chocolate, like this, but her and my daddy would have it with ‘adult juice’.” Tiana laughed at the memory as she recounted every small detail of that little ol’ house in her mind. Nanami listened intently, her voice dipping into that southern charm, transforming back into that little girl from her memory as she shed that layer of maturity.

“She and pa would put on a record; they were so old fashioned.” Tiana sipped. “We would dance around the kitchen, snacking on baked goods that I made. And then-” Tiana stops.

“Then?” Nanami said, his interest peaking as he hung on her words. Tiana’s body grew warm as she paused, thinking about how her dad would offer to dance with her. The two would attempt to swing around the kitchen, her father crouched over to reach his daughter’s height. She would step on his toes constantly, but he wouldn't berate her or frown. He’d encourage her until their steps were in sync, both in giggling fits until her mother was queued in. Her mother and father would dance so elegantly around the house, swaying in such an intimate way that it made child Tiana uncomfortable and pretend to gag. She didn’t understand then. But once she got older, she realized that she wanted a love just like that; one that was delicate and warm, like the tickling hum of the needle as is traced over the grooves of each record that spun on its table.

She yearned for it after Naveen passed, but now the feeling had grown into something almost insatiable.

So Tiana shrugs, looking off into the distance.

“And then we danced.”

And an idea struck Nanami, like lightning on a copper rod. He hummed in response, the two having nothing left to say.

Time passed at a snail’s pace, and that was when Nanami decided to stop stalling and invading Tiana’s space. Caught up in his own sense of greed, it had slipped his mind on how she felt physically and mentally. He stood, taking his emptied mug into the kitchen. He rinses it out, and places it upside down in the sink. He shuffles to the front door, sliding on his shoes , and throwing his coat back on. Tiana, who had seemed to be in some sort of daze, snapped her neck to look at the man. Her chest tightened as she scurried up.

“You’re leaving.”  She stated the obvious as clear as day, and despite trying to sound neutral, she sounded so desperate.

“I have to work in the morning. Unfortunately.” He said, and Tiana felt reassured that he sounded as disheartened as she felt. “But I filled in a form for you to have tomorrow off, if you would like.”

“Mm.” Tiana hummed gently. She walked towards the door to where he was adjusting the hem of his pants. It seemed as if he were stalling. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” He said softly, eyes reflecting the same shade and sentiment as Tiana’s.

Tiana found herself extending the conversation, even if it was just a single syllable longer she wanted him to stay. She didn’t have the gall to ask him to spend the night again, that was a line of intimacy she was afraid to cross again.

“When do you leave? For the holidays?” She asks.

Nanami adjusts his collar. “I’ll be leaving on the 19th.” Tiana seemed to stare into nothingness; that was right around the corner. Today is the 15th, and the sun had already begun to bleed across the sky as it died on the horizon.

“How are you going to get to the airport?” Tiana asked. She couldn’t drive him, and even though a miniscule part of her was willing to swallow that wad of fear to return the favor and take him there herself, she didn’t have a permit, let alone a license.

Nanami’s lip jutted slightly, as if he had never really thought of that. “Maybe a chauffeur from the job. Maybe a taxi.”

Tiana began twiddling with her fingers, pressing on her nails individually. Nanami watched, and took note of how her fingers barely grazed that band.

“I..um-” Tiana seemed to lose her nerve, so Nanami helped her.

“Do you want to come with me?”

“Yes.” Tiana responded a bit quickly, her words mingling with his. She clears her throat, feeling as though he made it too easy for her. She should be clear and concise with her request. “May I go with you?”

“You may.”

Silence befell the duo, so quiet you could hear their eyes blink. Tiana sighed heavily. The moment felt very…odd to say the least. They were parting ways, but the mood called for some sort of closing statement, as if the two needed to hug to bid a proper farewell. Tiana shook her head, tossing the thoughts from her ears as Nanami cleared his throat. He felt a dense heat creep up his neck.

“Well.” Tiana rushed, unlocking and opening the door.

“Well…” Nanami repeated, rocking onto the balls of his feet awkwardly. “Goodnight, Tiana.” He bowed slightly, feeling awkward as he exited.

“G’night. Be careful.” She called softly, not wanting to disturb the other residents. She watched him thump down the wooden stairs, turning back to watch her every other step, then entered the car. She watched him drive off, easing out of the parking lot, tire tracks left in the soft layer of snow that rested on the ground.

Tiana closes the door, pressing her back into the wood. She allows her head to fall back, thudding against the door, her eyebrows knitted in frustration. She lifted her left hand, looking at the lonely ring on her finger, swallowing thickly.

“Is this okay?”

Misha asked Tiana as the two sat in a secluded booth at the back of a barbecue joint, a “yakiniku”. She remembered the term from a place Nanami had taken her before, except that one was a lot nicer. This one was an abandoned, hole-in-the-wall place; paint peeling off the walls and ceiling. Misha obviously didn’t care enough to take the time to find something a bit more chic. Tiana had taken Nanami’s advice and decided to take the following day off. She was enjoying her peaceful day, when Misha called her unexpectedly. Tiana’s nerves were high strung when the woman asked to meet with her, claiming it was something important. Tiana, feeling as though she was indebted to her for covering her shift the past two days, obliged to her request. So here they were, during Misha’s lunch break, barbecuing different slices of meat on a thin grill built into the middle of the table. It warded off the cold, and Tiana’s appetite.

“Sure.” Tiana said, a bit quietly.

The woman sat in silence, a stale air about them. Both of them seemed to shift uncomfortably in their respective seats, glaring beams at the meat which seemed to cook even faster under their heated gazes. Misha huffed, prodding at the food.

“Let me get to the point.” Misha finally looked up, and Tiana followed, mouth still glued shut. “There’s no point in stalling, and neither of us really want to be here…”

Tiana kept quiet.

“Look, I-” Misha hesitated, her lips curled inward. “I want to say sorry.”

Tiana was taken aback. Did she just…?

“No, not sorry. I want to properly apologize.” Misha seemed to shrink a bit in her seat as Tiana gawked at her. “For everything.” Misha then began listing off her transgressions.

“For talking down on you. I want to apologize for making you run all those errands, and forcing you to do extra work.” Misha cringed as she heard her own crimes. “For the whole potluck fiasco. I sincerely apologize.” Then she did something Tiana didn’t expect. She downed deeply, forehead nearly touching her side of the table as she kowtowed to the brown woman across from her. “I know it’s not enough, but I really, really, truly am sorry.”

Tiana’s eyes were wide, and muddled with confusion. What caused the sudden change of mind? There’s no way this woman felt sorry for her actions, maybe sorry for being caught. But she had repetitively disrespected Tiana, threw her under the bus, and was downright awful to her. There had to be a reason she was rude to her, just like there had to be a reason she was apologizing to her now, and Tiana wanted to hear it. Even if the answer wasn’t sensible.

“Why?” Tiana’s voice croaked. “Why are you apologizing now?”

Misha cringed. Her motive was nothing but selfish, and it would expose this apology for the fraud that it was. At first it was just to save face, to look good and responsible in front of everyone. Then Nanami took notice and instructed her to do so, so she felt as if she had no choice. Not just because he was her boss, but because she wanted to make him happy. And lastly, only today did it cross her mind how much of an asshole she had been, how unreasonable she was to this woman because she couldn’t contain her own jealousy. While it was embarrassing and childish, she decided to go with the latter.

“I realized that I was being…a bitch.” She muttered the last part, and Tiana’s eyes widened in surprise. “I know it’s cliche, and a lame excuse, but it’s true. It took someone else for me to see that, and I feel like an idiot.”

Tiana frowned. “Someone else?” So this apology wasn’t of her own volition? 

Misha knew she said too much. She swallowed thickly.

“I was jealous.” She blurted out, cheeks inflamed. Tiana’s neck recoiled back, a nasty expression on her face. Misha had never seen a face so utterly disgruntled; her top lip snarled in the corner as her eyebrows furrowed disapprovingly. 

“Jealous?” Tiana seemed to spit. Misha felt as if she were drowning, thrashing words around to save herself.

“Of you and Nanami.” Misha said, and Tiana didn’t think it was possible for her neck to whip so fast. “I just…I saw him drop you off on your first day here, and I don’t know…my emotions just got the best of me. I mean, you’re married-”

Tiana’s mind seemed to throb, exhaustion overtaking her, the effort that she and Nanami put in to unwind made completely irrelevant. All of this, the aggressive comments, the extra work, the sabotage, all because Misha wanted to mimic a dog in heat? All because Misha didn’t have the maturity of a woman to simply speak with her, she just decided to lean on her own understanding? What kind of nasty rumors could this woman have said about her behind her back, in a language she couldn’t fully understand back then?

But there was one thing Tiana had to get straight first.

“Married?” She interrupted Misha’s spiel, a half laugh, half choke. “Marri- I’m not married.”

Misha paused, her eyes darting to the silver band. Tiana covered it, as if to shield it from prying eyes.

“But?” Misha tilted her head to the side, confused. “But the band? Are you divorced?”

Tiana was baffled at the gall of this woman. Was everyone here so goddamn nosey? Was everyone here so goddamn hasty to make assumptions about her without properly getting to know her?

“Are you-” Tiana stammered, so heated that she couldn’t even find the right words to say. “I’m not divorced. He…I’m a widow.”

Misha’s face turned several colors. First a ghostly white, face fallen and eyes wide. Then a sickly yellow, as if she were swallowing her own vomit. Then it finally settled on a reddish-purple, as if all the oxygen had been sucked from her brain.

“Oh.” She said quietly, voice squeaking like a rusty hinge. “Oh, oh, oh.”

Tiana couldn’t muster the courage to say anything.

“Oh, oh…” Misha kept voice like a broken record. Suddenly, her hands thrashed out, clasping her hands around Tiana’s as she began to plead for forgiveness, almost as if she were begging for her life to be spared.

“Oh, Tiana. I…I am so sorry. I had no idea.”

Tiana’s hands seemed to sting, her skin inflamed in the places where Misha touched. She retracted quickly, disgusted and offended by the sudden contact.

“Yeah, of course you didn’t.” Tiana seethed. “You didn’t bother to ask, or get to know me, or anything.” Tiana’s head throbbed in sync with her hammering heart. “But Nanami did. He was kind and understanding to me, something you couldn’t find in your heart to do because of your own lust. And you turned that kindness into something tainted.”

Misha's face seemed to swell with embarrassment as if she were a red balloon being inflated with helium.

“I’m-”

“No you’re not. You’re just embarrassed and offended that I won’t take this apology, which you don't even mean. And not only have you offended me and my husband's name, but also Nanami’s sense of worth. He’s a man of business, and the fact that you let such silly emotions fill your mind with nonsense-”

“Wait, please!” Misha’s hands pressed on the table. Her voice was full of panic, and she seemed to be trembling. “Please…don’t….”

Tiana couldn’t believe this. How could this woman, after feigning an apology for treating her like absolute shit, ask for such a request at the expense of her standing with Nanami? She wanted Tiana to keep this secret just so she could still look like the hard working saint in his eyes? Did she like him that much?

It wasn’t any of Tiana’s business. And it wasn’t really her business to sabotage a possible relationship because of her personal issues with this woman. If Misha was Nanami’s type, then all she could do was question why he would prefer to shack up with someone like her. If she made Nanami happy, who was she to interfere? He didn’t belong to her solely, he wasn’t bound to her by anything but a friendship with hazy boundaries.

It wasn’t any of Tiana’s business. She refused to make it her business. She didn’t really want to know.

Tiana threw a few hundred yen on the table, enough to pay for her half of the meal that she didn’t even get to indulge in. She stood up, adjusting her purse onto her shoulder. She couldn’t stand this madness any longer.

“Enjoy the rest of your day, Ms. Misha.”

Tiana thought about the interaction day in and day out. When at home, she was left to tend to her thoughts alone. At work, for some reason people were giving her sympathizing looks, and she knew Misha had let the cat out of the bag. It was better than the glares she would normally get, but Tiana didn’t want to be seen at all. She didn’t want to be coddled, or babied on the job because of her own misfortune. She just wanted to do her job like everyone else, and go home.

She didn’t even get to tell Nanami about it, or it was more like she refused to tell him about it. So when he nudged her arm as the two sat in the back of the taxi as they rode to the airport, interrupting her train of thought, she knew what question was coming.

“I know that look…” He was concerned. She had been frowning so deeply since he had entered the car. She had sat in the back so Nanami could have leg space in the passenger side, but Nanami couldn’t bear to leave her back there alone. So he squeezed into the back, watching her frown at the scenery that whizzed outside the window. Nanami was glad she wasn’t scared, but that frown resembled the same one she wore when she first got to Japan. It couldn’t have been anything good.

“It’s nothing.” Tiana said, turning back to him. Nanami gave her a knowing look, and she retracted her lie. “I mean, it’s not nothing, it’s something. But I don’t want you to worry about it before your trip.”

“So what, you’re supposed to worry by yourself while I’m gone?” Nanami raised a brow. “I told you, that-”

“I know, I know.” Tiana reassured him. “I don’t have to go through things alone. But this one is…slightly different.”

“Different?” Nanami asked. “How so?”

Tiana thought back to Misha’s confession. It wasn’t in her place to out her like that. Plus, a small part of her was terrified at how Nanami would react to the information. If those two ended up getting together, she didn’t want to be privy to it. It wasn’t any of her business.

“It’s a secret.” Tiana hums. Nanami simply blows air from his nose, frustrated. He thought that they were past secrets by now.

“Where are you going, anyway?” Tiana asked. She knew Nanami didn’t have any parents to visit, like her. He had told her that in an attempt to relate to her before, and it worked. “You never told me.”

“To America.”  Nanami said, not even thinking about his answer properly. Tiana’s eyes seemed to brighten with mischief.

“You have family in America?” Tiana asks with excitement, recalling the conversation they had on the night of her spiral. 

“Well, sort of…” Nanami tried to backtrack, but it was too late.

“Why ain’t you tell me!” Tiana swatted at his arm playfully. “The world is so small.”

“Too small.” Nanami muttered. “We’re not super close, or anything-” He lied, but Tiana was on a roll.

“Oh, we should plan a trip together one day!” Her eyes glistened at first, but then she shrunk as if she blurted something that she shouldn’t have. “I mean- you always talk about traveling. We can make it a thing; I can show you around the bayous or something.” Her voice was soft now, but so was Nanami’s heart. He looked out the window, unable to hide in the light of those innocent eyes. He felt the convoluted lie that he helped fabricate begin to unravel.

“When are you going to tell her?” Nanami’s voice was a bit grim as he looked at his cousin, not seeing her in person in years. The last time he recalled seeing her was when they were both in their early 20s, Lottie coming to visit him in Japan because he was much too busy climbing his ranks to properly visit her. Now that he was in her presence after almost a decade, he felt his eyes were playing tricks on him.

She still had that glowing tan from the southern sun, all the times she was outside playing in the bayous or swimming in lakes doing her justice. She seemed to have grown into her body, not just a bumbling 20 year old still awkwardly figuring themselves out; there was this air or sureness and maturity that he never really expected to see from Charlotte. Not because he didn’t think it was possible, but because to him he was still a little girl. But not only did she grow into her body, her body had grown.

She was pregnant. At the beginning of her second trimester.

Now, Nanami was privy to this information; she had told him over the phone while sobbing about her incident with Tiana. How Travis proposed to her, and how she was a bit bitter that her “sister from another mister” couldn’t even be happy for her, hell, couldn't even throw on a fake smile for her sake. So Nanami, unable to believe his ears, chose to seek the truth with his eyes, but he still couldn’t believe them. That’s why he rushed out to New Orleans so soon, leaving Tiana by her lonesome, so he could witness the unfathomable in person, and find some sort of solution to the mess the two were diving deeper into.

Charlotte was propped up in her bed, encased in fluffy, pink down pillows that mimicked the comfortability of cotton candy. She was draped in silk, pink pajamas that drowned her body, and hid her forming bump very well, but you could see it in her face. Travis was out running errands for his highness while Eli slept in Charlotte’s guest room, acting as her guard dog as he growled in his sleep.

“I don’t know.” Charlotte drummed her manicured fingers on her cheek. “It’s a bit much to just…spring onto her.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Nanami said defensively. Charlotte looked hurt.

“Oh, come on, Ken.” Charlotte exasperated. “Cut me some slack. Do you know how hard it is to hide this?” She motioned to her stomach. “It’s hard enough pretending that we don’t know each other.”

“Which is why I didn’t want to do it in the first place.” Nanami gritted. “Why is it that whenever you want to get your way, you always drag me into things?”

Charlotte went to clutch the white pearls adorning her neck, offended by the statement as her mouth gaped. “That is not true!”

Nanami cut his eyes, Charlotte noting how the expression looked a lot like Tiana’s infamous eye roll. He then began listing some examples.

“When you were seven and asked me to buy you pink paint, and proceeded to paint Stella’s fur. When you were ten and asked me to grab your father’s checkbook because he ‘asked you to grab it for him’, but you bought thousands of dollars worth of collectible Barbie’s, mind you, they weren’t even in mint condition. When you turned 16 and asked me for a foreign car, but didn’t tell me that you failed your driving test seven times, then you failed to tell me you totaled it until I got a call from your father in the hospital. When it was your prom and you wanted an extravagant dress, but didn’t tell me it was outside your father’s strict budget. When you were 20, and you defiled a famous piece at the Mori with lipstick because you felt the subjects ‘lips looked dry'. When you were 21-”

“Alright! Jesus Christ.” Charlotte said, feeling winded as she clutched her stomach. “I was younger, and a whole lotta stupid. I thought that was water under the bridge, but it feels as though you were waiting for the perfect moment to throw it all back in my face.”

“Charlotte, I’m not. But this-” He motioned to her body, her left hand that was caressing her stomach gleaming with a glittering ring, juxtaposed to Tiana’s lonely band. “This is different. Money can’t fix this. Connections can’t fix this. Your father can’t fix this, and neither can I.”

“So what, you wish I aborted it?” Charlotte snarled, and Nanami felt as if the conversation were hopeless as he threw his hands up in defeat.

“Abort- Charlotte, you know that’s not what I’m saying. Why didn’t you just talk to her?” Nanami’s heart seemed to ache with a pain he had never felt before. “Why not ask her how she would feel about this?”

Charlotte scoffed, face upturned as her eyes darted around the room. “How Tia feels? How Tia feels?” Her voice seemed to grow louder. “What about what I feel? What about what I want? I want to get married, I’ve always wanted to have a baby. I’ve had to tiptoe around with Travis so Tia wouldn’t feel so miserable, but it’s tiring. I want to move on, I want to grow up and start a family! Tia lost that, and now she’s stuck and I don’t know what more I can do for her!”

Nanami was silent as Charlotte kept talking, seemingly going on a rampage as if the past few years of shoving her own wants down built up so thickly in her chest that she had to spew it out like a projectile.

“Do you know how I found her on the day that I called you?” Charlotte’s eyes seemed to sting, and Nanami watched tears slide down her waterline. “I found her in her mama’s old home, trying to hang from the ceiling like a damn light fixture.”

Nanami felt his heart drop to his feet. His skin grew clammy and pale.

“I clung to her thighs and cried, Nanami.” Charlotte seemed to get choked up, her voice getting caught in her throat. “I wept like Jesus. I couldn’t bear it anymore.” Charlotte’s hand tossed through her hair. “So yes, I sent her to Japan. I couldn’t…I couldn’t do it anymore. That was the second time she tried something like that, and I knew it wouldn’t be the last. I couldn’t sleep at night, worried that I would walk into my sister's house and see her brains splattered on the wall, or her wrists shredded into ribbons, or her drowning in her own vomit. So I sent her away. At least then-”

Charlotte paused, shaking her head as tears streamed down her face, but there was a painful smile paired with it. It was as if the world had played a joke on her that was so cruel, she couldn’t help but laugh it off.

“At least then…I wouldn’t have to see that anymore. At least then, I could pretend she went on a long, long trip far, far away and move on with my life. I just…I didn't know what else to do.”

“You don’t mean that.” Nanami’s voice seemed to break. “You can’t mean that. In a time where she needed you most, you sent her to die alone?” he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

“You’re making me sound like a selfish bitch.” Charlotte wiped at her face. “And you know what, maybe I am. I’m self-centered, spoiled, a fucking brat.” Charlotte grimaced. “But I know what I want. I know what I feel. I can admit these things. It’s true, even if it’s from the depths of my heart, buried underneath all my love and care for her. It’s the truth, Nanami.”

“If you’re her best friend or sister, you would have gotten her help.” Nanami gritted. “Not send her on a journey of exile.”

Charlotte threw her hands up. “Oh, for fucks sake, Nanami. You don’t think I tried that?” Charlotte's voice seemed to pierce through him. “Every fucking doctor and therapist in New Orleans had a patient named Tiana Maldonia. She doesn’t want the help. She doesn’t want to talk. Hell, she doesn't even know what she wants. She does that face- I know you know the one.” Charlotte mimicked Tiana’s expressions, and Nanami had to admit that they were spot on. “She sits there with a deep frown, forehead wrinkled and lips downturned, something obviously on that pretty little mind. Then you ask her about it, and she gives you this airy look with those big brown eyes, acting like she don' know what you're talking about, or like everything is right with the world.”

Nanami could picture it, he knew it was true.

“But even so.” Nanami came to Tiana’s defense. “Even so, that wasn’t right, Charlotte. You’re supposed to keep trying.”

“For how long?” Charlotte yelled. “Until I’m old and gray, and my ovaries are all shriveled up? You think because you two became friends over the past few months that you know her better than me?” Charlotte clutched her stomach, her face red, and that line struck a chord with him. One day, he plans on retiring, hopefully with someone at his side who he can spend the rest of his days with since his younger years were spent working to the bone. If he stayed by Tiana’s side, would he be fated to spend the rest of his life so close to her, yet so far apart? To ignore his own wants in favor of hers?

“But you know me, Nanami.” Charlotte seemed to whine. “You’re my cousin. Why can’t you just be…happy for me? For my accomplishments? Why can’t you take my side for once?”

Nanami frowned. He was always on her side. He was always at her beck and call. But this wasn’t about the "right side" anymore.

“Whas’ goin’ on in here?” Eli La Bouff entered Charlotte’s bedroom, stirred from his sleep. It was probably from the insolent tones being hurled across the room, or maybe he could sense when Charlotte was in distress, and those senses were heightened because she was carrying his grandchild. His eyes widened, disturbed by the scene presented to him. His cheeks swelled, and his shock was replaced with a growing anger.

“I was just leaving.” Nanami said, making his way to the door. Eli seemed to bumble, stammering as he watched his nephew practically stomp out.

“L-Leavin’?” Eli’s drawl voiced his disappointment.

“Y-You can’t just leave, Ken!” Charlotte called to his back, but Nanami didn’t even turn around to look. “It’s the holidays! You can’t just abandon-!”

But the words got caught in her throat. Can’t just what? Abandon family? Who was Charlotte to criticize Nanami, when she had already done that herself?

Nanami stalked out the front door, and Charlotte winced when she heard it slam shut. Charlotte brought her knees to her chest, hunched over as she hugged her legs. Her tears stained her silk pajamas as she hiccuped silently. She felt the bed dip, her father sitting at her side.

“Daddy…” Charlotte sobbed, feeling nauseous as she squeezed her eyes shut, but that didn’t stop the tears from trickling down her cheeks. “Daddy, I don’t know what to do.”

Eli sat there, lips in a thin line. His baby wasn’t a baby anymore, she had grown from a seedling into a budding, golden magnolia. And he was a large oak. He feared that the longer he shrouded her in his shadow, the longer his roots dug into her, the longer he kept spoiling her, she would never flourish to her full potential. He had to let her grow up.

“My little flower…” He said in earnest, but with a tinge of sadness. It was hard watching your children grow up before your eyes, no longer depending on you. It was hard watching your baby begin to grow into her body, and begin to grow another body within her. It was hard watching your little girl go to another man for help when her father was right there, and would always be there. He had gone through it with Tiana, and he had lost it all with Tiana. But he had to let her flourish.

“My precious child.” Eli raised a thick hand to cup his daughter's face, and she leaned into it. The pain resonating off of her was unbearable, but he couldn't look away. “I think you know what to do.”

Her tears fell faster against his hand, sliding down his arms.

“You just don’t want to do it.”

Nanami had made his way to the airport, bag packed messily and threatening to burst free of the zipper. He needed to see Tiana. He wanted to see Tiana.

Now.

“I need the earliest flight to Japan. I would like to trade it for my flight tomorrow, on the 24th.” Nanami said at the desk, trying to keep his bearings. The clerk nodded her head, a bit unsure, typing furiously at her computer. She clicked the enter button, then shook her head solemnly.

“I’m sorry sir, all the flights today are booked. And because it’s the holidays, not a lot of people will be willing to give up their seats.” The woman sounded a bit nervous, as if Nanami would reach for the counter and jack her up by her ponytail if she didn’t comply with his request. 

Nanami drummed his fingers on the desk, nodding grimly, his lips folded in.

“Alright. Okay.” He sounded so defeated. “But please, let me know if something opens up.” The woman sensed the desperation, and simply nodded.

So Nanami waited in the airport terminal for his original flight. He thought about staying at one of the hotels not too far from here, but was scared he'd miss an opportunity to board an earlier flight.

The opportunity never came. Instead, it got worse.

“I’m sorry, sir. But flight 555 seems to have a 4 hour delay, and is pending. The latest being a departure on Christmas morning.” The clerk told him the next day. “There seems to be a snow storm heading in. It has never been this bad either, so the whole county’s in a bit of a tizzy.”

Nanami felt his whole world crush in a matter of seconds. He couldn’t go earlier, and now he would arrive much later than he intended. He swallowed thickly, remembering the promise he made to Tiana that night, words that feel as though he said it in the spur of the moment now.

If he leaves Christmas morning, he will get back to Japan early the next day, less than half a day before the banquet. He prayed silently that he could get back even just an hour earlier, so he could at least spend a singular second with Tiana, so she could at least spend one moment in the company of someone.

He sat in his chair, looking at his phone. Japan was about 15 hours ahead, the time reading 8:53am. If he called Tiana now, he would be just shy of 12:00am; Christmas morning. A part of him told her she was most likely wide awake for a multitude of reasons. He clicked on her name, putting the phone to his ear.

The phone rang once. Twice. Five times. Seven. Then it went to voicemail.

She must be asleep, Nanami thought. Just as he was about to shove his phone into his pocket, it rang abruptly, buzzing in his hand erratically. He looked at the phone, Tiana’s name adorned with a frog emoji flashing across his screen. He answers it.

“Tiana.” Nanami seemed to say breathlessly.

“Nanami?” Tiana’s voice was groggy as it cracked. He heard the creak of bed springs and the shuffling of sheets, the woman sitting up on the other line.

“You’re awake?” Nanami asked in a silly tone. Of course she was awake now, he had woke her up.

“Mm.” Tiana hummed in his ear, her voice seemed to sing a soft song of slumber. “Did you forget about the timezone?” Tiana giggled sleepily, and Nanami found heat creeping up his neck. She sounded so charming, dare he even say, adorable. Her voice had an almost sultry tone, brushing against his ear as if it were being caressed by velvet whispers.

“No,” Nanami sounded nervous, his hands clammy as he rubbed them on the knees of his jeans. “My flight was delayed.”

The line went silent. Finally, Tiana mustered up a silent “oh”. Nanami felt as if he needed to explain himself.

“I tried to get an earlier flight, but it was impossible.”

“Nanam-”

“And because of the weather, the delay could possibly be longer.”

“Nana-”

“I just really wanted to-”

“Kento.” Tiana said sternly, her words jutting into his sentence.

“-let you know…” Nanami’s voice trailed off as Tiana let out an amused laugh. He could almost see an apparition of her in front of him. He could imagine the crinkle of her nose, the flash of her teeth, the squint of her eyes. He settled into his seat, rubbing his face.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into the line.

“Sorry?” Tiana laughed again. “Nanami, you have nothing to be sorry for.” More shuffling in the background, Tiana’s voice is much more awake now. “You went through all that trouble for me?”

Nanami couldn’t answer. He was so flustered, dropping his face to hide his expression from the entire airport.

“Things happen, Nanami.” Tiana continued in an understanding tone. “It’s not your fault. This is expected; I thought you were the logical one.”

Nanami’s lips broke out into a grin. “I just wanted to make sure I was there.”

“Don’t sweat the little things.” Tiana said with a reassuring tone. “I’ll see you when you get back, okay?”

Nanami hesitated. It was a surreal moment, Tiana audibly admitting that she would be waiting for his return, and Nanami unable to contain the excitement that crept into his being.

“Okay.” He said gently, trying to keep his voice from swaying. He crossed and uncrossed his legs. “Have you been sleeping alright?”

On the other side of the line, Tiana hugged herself, laying down. Her head laid in her pillows as her phone rested on the nightstand, the device on speaker as his voice echoed in the dark room. It created the illusion that he was in her presence, and she’d be lying if she said the comfortability didn’t make her drowsy.

“I mean, there’s no night terrors, so...” Tiana said, staring up at the dark ceiling. Ever since she talked to Nanami, she hadn’t had a single nightmare, but she still couldn’t sleep properly. It wasn’t as though she were lying awake every night, she would eventually fall asleep, but it felt as if she closed her eyes for a second and it was the next day. She wasn’t resting properly, probably from stress. But right now, she felt fine, almost like a slight buzz were ricocheting through her body, rocking her to sleep. She closes her eyes and sighs, sinking into her mattress.

“Do you…want me to stay on the line?” Nanami asked hesitantly, and Tiana turned her body to curl towards the phone, her eyes still closed.

“Is that alright?” Tiana asks. “I was just going to try and go back to sleep…”

Nanami let out a soft laugh. “That’s why I’m asking you.”

Tiana nods, feeling as though he were right there.

“Yes, please.”

The line went silent, and Nanami took the opportunity to check his phone. 9:00am on the dot. He brings the phone back to his ear.

“Tiana, before you go to sleep.” Nanami’s voice sounded like a summer’s breeze, unfurling and warping through Tiana’s space. “There’s one more thing.”

“What?” Tiana responded sleepily. She heard him smile on the line.

“Happy birthday.”

ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ | ɴᴇxᴛ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ | ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀʜᴇᴀᴅ | ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ʟɪꜱᴛ

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Imagine:

Erik has a new girl who has a baby prior to dating him and they become one big happy family. The baby daddy is jealous and he tries to one up on Erik but they end up being cool with eachother afterwards.

Warnings: Mentions of SMUT, Fluff.

Erik is currently staring at a picture of little Sasha. She was only one month on the photo. Now, Sasha is turning one.

When he first met Y/N and Sasha, they were in a Caribbean supermarket. Erik always shopped there. He decided to go and grab what he needed before heading home to his new apartment. If you ever wanted to shop for Afro-Caribbean ingredients, the best place to go to was a Caribbean supermarket. He wanted to cook up some beef patties, oxtail, rice and peas, and some fried cabbage. Already picking up the spices he needed, Erik wasn’t paying much attention when his cart bumped into Y/N’s. The loud clanking sound woke Sasha up. She cried a little bit but it didn’t last very long.

“Shit, my bad. My eyes were on the shelves looking for curry powder. Ah, I woke up this pretty little mama right here.”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to apologize. It happens to the best of us.”

The corners of Erik’s mouth turned up into a smile and his eyes widened slightly at the sight of her. Pushing a yellow cart with a light grey strapless sundress on that hugged her ample curves was one of the most beautiful women Erik has ever seen. Her skin was a beautiful mocha with tan lines. Short blue-black curly fro and nutmeg eyes with a bright white smile. She looked like she lived on an island and not California. That’s where the pretty new born baby got her looks from for sure.

“Here’s your curry powder.”

Erik blinked out of his trance, staring down at the beautiful woman’s hand holding up a bag of curry powder. Erik grabs it, his full lips still holding a dimpled smile.

“Thank you, ma.”

“No problem,” She looks down at her daughter in the cart, smoothing her black hair, “Well, let us get out of your way, I’m sure you have shit to do.”

“No rush, just got off of work,” Erik held out his hand, “My name is Erik.”

“Y/N,” she grabs it gently, shaking Erik’s hand slowly.

“And what’s her name?”

“Sasha.”

“She’s very beautiful like her mama.”

“Thank you,” Y/N blushes.

Erik licks his lips, “This is probably the only time I’ll ever see you...so I was wondering if I could have your number? I mean,” Erik looks Y/N up and down, “You are so damn beautiful. Make a nigga hold up traffic doing a U-Turn if I see you walking down the street.”

Y/N nibbles on the corner of her pouty bottom lip, “Just like that, huh, Erik?”

“It’s now or never honestly.”

Y/N cocked her head to the side, “You didn’t even ask me if I was single. I do have a new born baby. I could have a boyfriend, be engaged, already married-“

“My fault,” Erik chuckles, “It’s just in my nature to go after what I want.”

“I can see that,” Y/N shakes her head with a big smile.

“Aight, so, are you taken?”

“No. Not anymore.” Y/N sighs, “Long story.”

“I’m sorry to hear that gorgeous.”

“I’m okay. My Sasha is okay. That’s all that matters.”

“Well, she looks like she’s in good hands, no doubt.”

“Yes,” Y/N’s eyes sparked and her lashes fluttered, “Do you still want my number, Erik?”

“Hell yeah,” Erik pulls out his phone from his suit jacket. Y/N grabs her phone from the cart, handing it over to Erik. They both exchanged numbers before swapping back. They didn’t really know what else to say, Y/N looking at Erik bashfully and Erik is honestly enamored by how beautiful and chocolate Y/N is.

“Promise we will talk?” Erik says while walking back to his cart.

“I promise, Erik.” Y/N giggles, turning to her cart, giving Erik a view of her tantalizing voluptuous hips.

“Yeah, I’ll hold you to that, ma. Bye bye Sasha.”

Sasha just looked at him with her black eyes

Y/N and Erik talked that night, Y/N agreeing to go on a date with him but she definitely wasn’t ready for anything intimate. Erik respected that, he started falling deeper and deeper for Y/N and they didn’t start having sex until after a month of getting to know eachother. Ever since then, they were inseparable and Erik took care of Sasha like she was his child. They would spend the night the first 11 months into dating but by month 12, just weeks before Sasha’s birthday, Erik asked Y/N if she wanted to move in with him. Y/N instantly agreed without hesitation.

—————————

Sasha’s Birthday

“Rayvon is getting on my last nerves!”

Erik looks up from the photo of Sasha on her birthday cake at Y/N entering the kitchen in their apartment with a scowl and her lips pouting. She went back to stirring the potato salad, Erik’s eyes unable to ignore her ass jiggling in her yellow sundress.

“What happened with that nigga now?”

“He keeps asking me why I moved in with you. It’s none of his goddamn business!” Y/N kisses her teeth, “I am so sick of him questioning my decisions when he couldn’t even figure out if he wanted Sasha in his life. While he was out there screwing around I was dealing with my pregnancy alone.”

“Want me to talk to him?” Erik walks over to Y/N in the kitchen, his hand rubbing her back, “Cuz you know I will.”

“No, baby,” Y/N looks up at Erik with her doe eyes, “It’s not something I want you to get involved in unless it’s absolutely necessary. Ray is just jealous.”

“His loss. The nigga should have been on his shit but then again, I wouldn’t have you.”

“You won me,” Y/N turns, wrapping her arms around Erik’s neck, “I’m yours now. This may sound fucked up but...I was thinking the other day that I wish I would have ran into you in that market 9 months earlier. Then, you would have impregnated me and not Rayvon.”

“Aye,” Erik kisses Y/N’s forehead, “Sasha is a part of Rayvon. As much as I would have loved to meet you, Sasha wouldn’t be so fucking amazing if it wasn’t for him too-“

“You’re right. I don’t want you to think I’m saying that I don’t want Sasha-“

“Stop,” Erik rubs Y/N’s arms, “I know what you meant. You’re a great mother, baby, just... relax, okay?”

“Ugh,” Y/N smiles, “I’m so glad you’re here. Ray will be here and if you weren’t with me I wouldn’t survive-“

“You’re a strong woman, don’t let that nigga make you think otherwise,” Erik grabs her chin, “Look at me. Never let that nigga make you feel weak. Ever.”

“Okay,” Y/N stands on her tiptoes to kiss Erik.

“Good girl,” Erik gave Y/N another kiss, sucking on her bottom lip.

“Mmm, baybeee,” Y/N whimpers, “make me feel good before the party starts?”

“Damn,” Erik felt himself growing stiff, Y/N felt it too. Her hand came down the length of Erik’s body before resting gently over his crotch. She drags her nails up his length, her tongue poking out to sweep across her upper lip.

“Mm, Daddy. He’s so big-“

“Chill, ma, you can’t be doing that. You want yo’ mama to see how big of a freak her daughter is?”

“I just want it so bad,” Y/N kisses Erik’s neck causing him to groan, “So bad, Daddy-“

“I don’t want a quickie with you, I want it all, ma. Let’s wait until after the party. Isn’t Sasha going with Ray so he can take her to his parents?”

“Yeah,” Y/N had a sad expression, “I’ll wait the four hours I guess.”

“Trust me, it’s worth the wait, baby girl. I plan on wearing your ass out. Fix that pretty face, ain’t no pouting around here.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

“That’s right,” Erik takes both of his hands to reach around Y/N squeezing her generous buns and then making them bounce in his hands.

———————

Everyone showed up to Sasha’s first birthday, even some of Erik’s friends came out to support. The party was themed Disney Princess with Tiana from Princess and The Frog. Erik even got a dress made to match Princess Tiana’s for Sasha. She also had a little gold crown to match the gold anklet Erik gifted her for her birthday.

Are you Sasha’s Daddy?

You look like you could be Sasha’s Daddy.

I like you better than that dumb ass Rayvon.

The questions and comments circulated around multiple times. Erik did feel a little uncomfortable answering that with Ray there. Speaking of Ray, he was giving Erik a cold look the entire time. Whenever Erik gave Sasha or Y/N a kiss, held Sasha, accepted Y/N sitting on his lap, or gave Sasha a gift, Rayvon would scowl or clench his jaw like he was itching to say some foul shit. Y/N definitely did have a type. Rayvon looked about Erik’s height and weight except he was dark skin with a kinky fro. Rayvon is a kick boxer. He looked like he wanted to kick Erik out of one of his luxury apartment windows so he could watch him fall twelve stories.

After gift opening time with Sasha, Rayvon, and Y/N, Y/N allowed Sasha to walk around so she could get used to moving on her feet. Sasha is so fast and every time someone tried to pick her up she would twist and turn her body. As soon as Y/N felt Sasha pulling on the bottom of her yellow dress, smacking her little lips, Y/N knew that her daughter wanted some food.

Y/N sat bouncing Sasha on her lap while feeding her some Mac and cheese. Erik took a seat next to Y/N on one side while Rayvon approached to take the empty seat on the other side. Y/N rolls her eyes, glancing over at Erik before going back to feeding Sasha.

“Can I feed her?” Rayvon spoke with a deep voice.

“Yeah, she’s your baby,” Y/N passes Sasha over to Rayvon.

“Oh? No arguing with me? Shit, I’m shocked.”

Rayvon pinches Sasha’s cheek, grabbing some Mac and cheese with his fingers to feed her.

“Since I’m here, you gon’ introduce yourself, homie?”

“Erik,” Erik looked over at Rayvon with humor, “Nice to meet you, bruh.”

“Hmm,” Rayvon reaches out his hand across Y/N, “Nice to meet you.”

“Cool,” Erik shook his hand but he held just as tight as Rayvon. Erik gave Rayvon a sly smirk before pulling his hand away.

“Since you around my daughter so much, what do you have to offer? I need to know especially since Y/N is living here now-“

“Chill out Rayvon, shit,” Y/N was ready to cuss Rayvon out but Erik’s hand on her shoulder calmed her down.

“It’s all good, baby, he’s just asking questions,” Erik looked up at Rayvon with unwavering eyes, “I’m not tryna take your place but I care about her and Y/N so I WILL be around. I love them both, and that’s real. I’m finna treat Sasha and Y/N with nothing but respect and mad love just like I’ve been doing for the past year.”

Rayvon sat quiet but he kept his eyes on Erik. He honestly couldn’t think of anything to counter what Erik just said. For some reason, Rayvon could see that Erik was telling the truth. The jealous part of him wanted to hate Erik’s existence but he has been nothing but amazing towards Sasha.

“And I understand the energy, bruh, I get it,” Erik shrugs, “I don’t have a problem with you but I will back this woman up right here. She means a lot to me.”

Rayvon glances at Y/N, “Yeah, she has that effect on people.”

“For sure,” Erik wraps an arm around Y/N’s waist, “She don’t play though,” Erik chuckles.

“You got yourself a hard woman. Ain’t that right, Y/N?”

“Shut up, Ray,” Y/N rolls her eyes.

“Where are you from, Erik?” Rayvon tried to make small talk.

“Oakland, you?”

“Same.”

“Shit, we might know the same people.”

Rayvon, shrugs, “We might, what area?”

“East Oakland, you?”

“Bro...same. What high school?”

Y/N looked from Rayvon to Erik with a perplexed expression.

“Castlemont High School for my junior and senior. I was at Oakland High at first but I got put out. What year did you graduate?”

“06’. I went to Oakland High school. I don’t remember you though.”

“Probably because I stayed in the office and getting suspended,” Erik laughs, “Juvie too.”

“I’m sure we know the same people. Same niggas still out there on the corners.”

“Shit, who you telling. I had to let some of my homies go. I ain’t tryna get dragged down in that mess.”

“Best move, honestly.” Rayvon agreed.

Y/N couldn’t believe what she was witnessing. Rayvon was actually being nice to Erik after all the shit he talked about how he was going to beat his ass when he saw him. Now, he was having conversations about their childhood, laughing and getting along. They were so invested in talking that Y/N went unnoticed.

“I’m gonna take Sasha to see if she needs to be changed,” Y/N stands, reaching out for Sasha.

“Go to mommy, little mama,” Rayvon gives Sasha a kiss on her neck causing her to giggle before handing her over to Y/N, “she’s looking more and more like you every damn day, girl. Look like you created her on your own.”

“That means she’s gonna grow up to be pretty like her mama,” Y/N grabs Sasha’s hand to kiss, “ain’t that right cutie pie!”

Rayvon sat back in his chair admiring Y/N. Erik caught him staring at her frame while chewing on his bottom lip with a crease in the middle of his brows.

“We will be back, behave Ray,” Y/N gives him a stern look.

“I’ll keep Erik company, seems like we’re vibing.”

“Okay,” Y/N walked up to Erik, giving him a kiss on his cheek. Before she could even step away from him, Erik reached out to slap her ass. Y/N looked back at him while shaking her head before placing Sasha on her hip, walking away.

“Still looks soft,” Rayvon said without a care for Erik being there.

“It is,” Erik side eyed Rayvon, “Still jealous?”

A muscle in Rayvon’s jaw twitched before he gave a half smile, “I can be a man and admit that I’m a little envious. You enjoying what I had...that would make any man feel some type of way.”

“If you don’t mind me asking-“

“Why did I fuck it up?” Rayvon finished Erik’s question, “Because I couldn’t handle the fact that she was pregnant. I wasn’t ready to take care of a baby. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was going to take care of Sasha regardless, I knew I had a big responsibility I just...it was unexpected. I never imagined being a father. I never imagined falling for Y/N at all, period. She just has this energy man, Hmm, I mean, you know that energy. I kept telling myself not to fall for her but, damn, she really sunk her nails deep, you feel me?”

“Oh, I feel you. I’ve been there. I’ve never had a baby but I’ve been in that situation. I didn’t want that type of commitment either. Now, I love that shit. When I saw Sasha and Y/N for the first time, I couldn’t leave without at least getting her number. She had me and I barely even knew her.”

“Where did y’all meet again?”

“Erik smiles, “Caribbean supermarket. Bumped carts.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” Rayvon laughs, “I met her walking past her on Telegraph Ave. I couldn’t keep walking without getting her number. All she had to say was hi and my ass was sprung.”

“All she had to do was look at me and I was hooked,” Erik lifted an eyebrow before turning to Rayvon, “I heard you’re a kick boxer?”

“I am. Been doing it for five years now. I love it. I want to teach Sasha some day.”

“She already kick and punch like a beast so I can only imagine how she will be when she gets older.”

Rayvon leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, “What do you do?”

“I work for the Outreach center here in Oakland.”

“Serious! Could you help out my brother? He’s been trying to get a job there for at least two years now. They still have him on like some sort of waitlist.”

Erik ponders for a second before answering, “What’s his name?”

“Davon. Ex Military, Masters in Computer Science, wants to help design technology to help struggling communities. He also interned for Stark.”

“He sounds perfect. I’m like, in charge of all of that. Well, I’m in charge of a lot but I oversee the technology aspect of things more. I’ll give you my business card and you can have Davon call me Monday morning at 8:00 AM. No later.”

“Chill, you’ll really do that for him? Damn, you’re really a stand up guy, Erik. And here I was tryna hate you for taking Y/N away from me. I ain’t got no reason to hate you man,” Rayvon held out his hand for Erik to shake out of respect.

Erik sizes Rayvon up, “You were tryna come up in here and one up on me?” Erik’s tone was rough and angry. Rayvon leans back, brows furrowed and hands up like he didn’t want any problems.

Erik’s face slowly morphed into that of humor. He snorts a laughter before clapping Rayvon on his back, “All jokes, homie, I don’t want no beef. We good.”

“Shit,” Rayvon let’s out a suppressed laugh before fixing his denim jacket, “I thought you were about to put hands on me.”

“Nah, that’s not in my character. Ain’t no reason for me to beat your ass-“

“Aight, nigga,” Rayvon chuckles.

Y/N walks back without Sasha in her arms, hands on both her hips as she stood before Rayvon and Erik.

“So, did you both exchange words while I was gone or was everything good?”

Erik and Rayvon exchanged looks, faux anger on their faces.

“Seriously? Damn, that didn’t last long. Listen, I can’t have-“

“CHILL,” Erik couldn’t control his laughter, “We’re good, just messing with you, baby.”

“Erik don’t do that!” She hits Erik’s broad shoulder, “I thought I was going to have to separate you two until the party is over, and Rayvon stop laughing! You’re the one that gave threats about wanting to strangle Erik with your bare hands!”

“No worries, girl, we talked, got to know eachother, and...I can honestly say that you chose right, probably better than me.”

Y/N didn’t know how to respond to that. She could see that Rayvon wished he would have done better but the maturity in his response is what won her over. Never in a million years did Y/N expect Rayvon to say those words about any man she decided to be with besides him.

“That really makes me happy, Ray, I just want all of us to get along for Sasha.”

“I agree,” Rayvon gave Y/N a charming smile before standing to give her a hug. Y/N accepted his hug but she made sure to look at Erik to see if he was okay with it. He didn’t seem bothered, he actually looked happy.

“Aight, where is my baby girl? The party is basically over I’m ready to take her home so she can chill with her cool Daddy.”

Y/N pointed to her mother and her aunts, “She’s over there eating ice cream. You’re gonna have a lot of diapers to change, Ray.”

“Eh, I’m prepared,” Rayvon turned to Erik bringing his fist towards him to bump, “Good talking to you man, see you again soon.”

“Same, bro. Let me get you a card for your brother.”

“Good looks.”

Erik stood up, heading towards his small office area to grab one of his business cards. When he returned, Sasha was already on her Daddy’s hip, her Minnie Mouse baby bag in Rayvon’s free hand.

“Erik, come say goodbye to Sasha,” Y/N waves him over. Erik came over, planting a kiss on Sasha’s cheek, “See you, cutie pie. It’s never a goodbye when it comes to you, ain’t that right?!”

Sasha giggles with her gums and drool.

“Have fun, birthday girl.” Erik turns to Rayvon, “Glad we talked, man, see you soon.”

“No problem, take care of her,” Rayvon was referring to Y/N.

“That’s a promise.”

Rayvon gave one final goodbye to the others who lingered around to help clean before strolling out of the apartment with Sasha.

“Look at you, being nice. I like it.”

Erik wraps an arm around Y/N’s soft waist, “Daddy can be nice too.”

“Will Daddy be nice to me later?” Y/N whispers, “Or will Daddy make me beg for it?”

“Depends on how good of a girl you are before the rest of your family leaves.”

“Then I should be on my best behavior then,” Y/N flashed Erik a sexy smile earning a hard slap to her ass.

“Not with an ass like that,” Erik bites his lower lip, “Gon’ girl before I bend you over.”

“Okay, Daddy,” Y/N made sure to walk away extra slow so Erik could watch her.

@tgigoldie​ @soufcakmistress​ @chefjessypooh​ @chaneajoyyy​ @pananegra​ @theblulife​ @becincere​ @blaqwidow91​ @fish-outta-watah​ @eyeknowmywrites​ @crowngold​ @njadakillthiscookie​ @blktinkerbell​ @luvanxi​ @sheisexcellent1​ @chocolatedippedinhoney​ @brandithecrystalgem​ @dababydababydababydababy​ @soulfulbeauty19​ @btitannaaa​ @sunkissedebony97​ @youngblackndgifted​ @harleycativy​ @rbhp​ @thee-germanpeach​ @thadelightfulone​ @palmstreesallday​ @skylahb​ @bakaris-shorty​ @nizzle-mo​ @truglori​ @queenflaws​ @ljstraightnochaser​ @theegoldenchild​ @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade​ @nickidub718​ @vikkidc​ @thehomierobbstark​​ @rent-emspoons​​ @abluesforlyssa​​ @abeautifulmindexposed​​ @fd-writes​​ @chasingsunlight​​ @sickaddiktions​​ @munteanhore​​ @xo-goldengirl​​ @tiava143​​ @33kiara​​ @honeytoffee​​ @asiasblackworld727​​ @momobaby227​​ @informalmelancholy​​ @soulshinechronicles​​ @hearteyes-for-killmonger​​ @goddessofthundathighs​​ @soulfxll​ @whazzzupmyhitta​

[lesbiantiana]

whoever the character designer was that decided to give princess tiana dimples was a fucking genius

[theogony]

Mistakes - a Tam-Centric Kam fic

Not me?? Posting a fic??? So soon??? 

(the power of @kam-week-2020 :D)

Anyway this is a kinda shorter more Tam focused Kam fic - but there’s platonic Tiana so~

Prompt: Tears 

Genre: Angst (so much pining ngl,,,,,)

tw: Self-depreciation, slight internalised homophobia, pining, paint?

Words: 1.3K

●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～

It'll be okay. Time heals wounds. Distance becomes better, distance no longer matters. The Pain...it goes away. It doesn't. The pain does not go away. {{Sometimes....sometimes, that pain, it gets worse. The gut wrenching, tight throat, eye burning, stifling sort of pain that sometimes can't be described, because it's hollow, like a hollow empty nothingness inside}} He can't describe it, how he feels. It's hard to forget what you don't want to forget, and that, is what makes time, the worst of it all. It gets worse, not better.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

He’s not sure what triggers it.

Maybe it was his friends.

{{It was his doing, he knew it as well as they did.}}

But all of a sudden he’s biting his lip as he rocks back and forth, though it wasn’t like he wasn’t the only teary eyed one in the room.

{{”We’re getting married!”, he says, his voice full from the unfiltered joy. “And it’s about damn time”, his fiancé adds with a chaste kiss on his cheek.}}

It isn’t that he’s not happy. He sees the way Sophie’s face glows as she looks at him as though he was her world and the way that they both would dissolve into their own happy cocoon, blissful against the dangers of their world, perfect and complete in their sphere. He loves the way that he’s finally found a home with all of them, how Linh has a complete and stable family and he too has a safe space wherever he goes, regardless if it’s the forbidden cities or if it’s just somewhere close like Alluvettere.

But there's the ache too, of nostalgia. Of bittersweet nostalgia. Of cold. Cold memories hidden deep in his chest that no matter how hard he digs he can't get it out. He sees it in Keefe’s blond eyes and perfect smile, in the way his eyes crinkle whenever he saw something that made him happy, when they talk and chat together, when he lets Sophie runs her fingers along his neck and shoulder, lacing them with butterfly kisses and a dimpled grin which he hates because he knows it’s finally real-

{{And he can’t remember a moment with him where it wasn’t.}}

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

His fingers are cold in the night, the rain pouring around him, a charred cigarette lit and burnt away without him even touching it.  He forgot his jacket inside, and he's tired from tears and sweat and belting out what voice was left in him from the karaoke Sophie had insisted on singing, but he doesn't want to move. Biana comes outside after a while, sporting her brand new undercut as she too stares at the stars in the sky, burdened by wishes never fulfilled. 

He has his hands stuffed into his scruffy jean pockets, lips dry, cheeks pale and stained, and he says nothing, passing her what's left of the cigarette, and shivers. He lets the cold eat at his cheeks.

{{the cold helps freeze the broken lines into something more jagged, something better than the utter blunder he was-}}

Biana looks at him one last time, giving him a bear hug that threatens to spill the tears he knows are coming, and she presses his body close, for warmth, for love, for comfort in their mutual pining. 

His imparter is buzzing in his pocket, and he doesn't have to pick up to know that it's Linh calling to find out where he’s gone. He'd find them sooner or later. {{He knows them too well to abandon them.}}

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

His blank canvases are against the wall, all lined up and ready for him to paint, to create. But there are no brushstrokes and colours in his mind, and his fingers feel empty. He cannot paint. 

{{Maybe cause it brings back so many memories of him.}} Tam remembers the feeling filling him up, the high that came with inspiration, with fulfilment, with love for creation and him. But his mind is blank, and he drinks too many cups of coffee now, sleeps too little, stays too long in his mind when there's nothing there for him.

{{“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to pour espresso in your Red Bull,” Biana mutters as she hands the flask back to Tam, eyes concerned as she looks at the mess of the room left in his ex’s wake. “You might get a heart attack.” Tam laughs, “I hope I do.”

Heart attacks are better than broken hearts, and that’s all you get when you fall in love with a mistake.}}

But now he doesn't even know if he needs his art anymore, and it's tearing him apart, slowly, like the tide takes little bits of sand from the shore but instead never returning what it took. It's so slow that he doesn't notice until one day he's too confused to do either, and everytime he picks up a brush to press against his canvas, what comes out isn't anything beautiful. It's plain colours that makes his heart sink even deeper, and even when he tries and tries it's no longer beautiful when he looks at it. 

{{He remembers coming here, when they first made it outside of the lost cities, eager chattering mouths and eager for success in their orchestrated chaos. He and Keefe had sneaked out, itching for something exciting and something to wash away the stain of fear, with the way things were panning out. 

Keefe ended up taking him to this very same painting studio, and guiding his hands along the edges of the canvas, slowly and softly ad guiding his strokes along the paper, the colours blurring and tears shining because he’s ever felt so happy-}}

It scares him how much everything overwhelms him all at once. Paint. Love. Paint. Love. Paint. Love. Paint

{{was everything he felt, they had, a lie?}}

His fingers are stained in colour, and he wants to rub his fingers into his soul, hoping that the colours would stain the mistakes, the cracks, the shards into something worth loving. 

The night is going away, and he does nothing. He's wasted away the hours, and Tam finds that as much as he does care, he doesn't care as much as he should. He paints still because he knows he has to. He wants to, for it is the last tangible remnant of the broken love he once shared. As much as the emptiness is filling him up, he's just as determined to rub colours into his soul, over and over again until it shines.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

It's late morning when he steps out into the cool morning breeze. Somewhere between the colours and the trees and the sky, the clouds have darkened and he closes his eyes with paint splatters fresh on his cheeks. 

{{He remembers the last words that Keefe says to him.

burnt into his memory.

I’m sorry. This was all-

                   it’s all just a mistake-}}

The paint runs over, mixing with the salty tears that fall down his face, blurring the line between nightmare and reality.

And Tam Song, the boy who was but a mistake and a coagulation of mismatched colourless tears, lets it all fade away.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

And that’s a wrap!! One last prompt to go to finish of Kam week with a hat trick - feel free to reply if y’all have suggestions :)))

//Reblogs, likes and comments always appreciated!//

Tag list? Idk it’s one person but @enbies-and-felonies so~

[harry-hook-me]

Notes

Writer - @harry-hook-me (myself)

Request - @addictofsupernatural

Disclaimer - I do not own any of the Descendants characters or scenes from the movies, all credits goes to the creators and producers of Disneys descendants.

Summary – Harry Hook is the new VK arriving at Auradon, after meeting the reader in his English literature class and receiving help from her to catch up he begins leaving small gifts for her at her dorm room door. The reader catches him out and two are able to admit their feelings for each other.

Warnings – None

Prompts – “It was you the whole time”

AN- I forgot to proof read (couldn’t really be bothered) so please excuse any spelling or grammer mistakes - Lou x

Word count - 1802

Being invisible isn’t all bad, I mean the lack of friends is a bit boring but it’s not completely terrible. I’m the daughter of Princess Anna, my only two friends are the daughter of princess Jasmin, Jessie, and the Son of Tiana, Travis. The three of us have been best friends for years, ever since we were very young, we’ve all always felt as though we don’t belong here, none of us are the preppy, pastel, princess or prince type, were more… well, us.

Jessie, Travis and I all walk down the long corridors of Auradon prep, “well, I’m off. See you guys at lunch” Travis says turning the corner to get to his geometry class. “see ya”, “bye” Jessie and I say in sync as we continue walking to out spate classes. “so have you heard the news?” Jessie asked me “what news?” I asked looking puzzled “y/n, as if you didn’t know. There are two new VKs joining the school today!” she says excitedly. Jessie has always had a fascination with the villains over on the isle and says she’d love to cross the barrier to see what life is like over there. “which kids?” I questioned. “nobody knows, guess we’ll see when they arrive. Anyway, I’ll see you a lunch” Jessie says before going into her history classroom. “see ya then” I say while continuing to walk down the corridor to my English literature class.

English lit has always been one of my favourite subjects, the poetry and the novels, love, tragedy, misery, it’s all just so appealing. I walked in, quite early as I was the first one in. former Queen Bell was our lecture, since her son and mal took over the crown, she takes up her spare time teaching English due to her love of books. “Good morning your majesty” I say before taking my seat at my desk and getting out my note book, pen and copy of Romeo and Juliet, the book were currently studying. “Good morning y/n” Bell replied, soon after people began to enter the classroom, nobody really paying attention to me, as usual. Yet another day in class sat alone, at the back.

Around half way through the lesson, Fairy God Mother walked in. “sorry to interrupt, but I have someone to introduce you all to.” She said to us all before guiding a tall boy into the class room. “Everybody, this is Harry Hook, he’ll be joining us here at Auradon Prep and will be attending this class. I’m sure you all will welcome him with open arms”. Harry Hook, must be the son of Captain Hook. I observed the boy stood in the doorway, tall, dark messy hair, beautiful eyes, dressed in pirate get up complete with a long red leather jacket and a silver hook in hand.

I was pulled from my thoughts by a Scottish accent “may I sit here”, I looked up to see harry stood by the empty chare next to me. “er- sure” I stuttered, the pirate sat beside me and smiled. “Harry Hook” he said, holding out a hand for me to shake, “y/n, captain hooks son I’m guessing?” I ask. “Your guess is correct, and you?” harry asked smiling and looking into my eyes “daughter of Princess Anna.” I replied, “ah, a princess, well I must say, you don’t look like the princess type” Harry chucked, I looked down at my lap, “I like it” he added with a cute grin applied on his face, I looked up to meet his gaze blushing slightly.

“Mr Hook, I’m afraid I don’t have a spare copy of the book so if you wouldn’t mind sharing with y/n” bell asked from the front of the class, Harry and I nodded. I opened up the book the page we were at and showed Harry. “I’m guessing you’ve never read Romeo and Juliet before?” I asked Harry. “Who?” Harry questioned, I chuckled, “Romeo and Juliet, it’s a play written by someone called William Shakespeare, it’s about two people from two different families that have been feuding for centuries but they fall in love, but end up dying right at the end. It’s one of my favourites” I explained to him. Throughout the lesson, Harry and I chatted and got to know each other a bit better, I could tell he wasn’t understanding hardly any if the lesson so I offered to give him some help with catching up with the play so far. I also invited Harry to join me, Jessie and Travis at lunch to give him the opportunity to make some new friends, to this he agreed.

I showed Harry to the area outside where Jessie, Travis and I would always go to a lunch and free periods, it’s under a great willow tree right at the back or the school grounds where no one ever really goes. “Hey guys, this is Harry Hook, Harry this is Jessie, daughter of Princess Jasmin, Travis, son of Tiana, and… oh who’s this?” I asked as there seemed to be a new boy sat with the two, “Gil!” Harry shouted, hugging the tall blond boy with a bandana over his long hair. “I never knew you’d been invited here as well” Harry said to him. “Well I’m here” Gil giggled back. “y/n, this is Gil, hes new here, he’s in my history class, son of Gaston” Jessie explained to me, I nodded back. “Gil and I were a part of the same crew back on the isle, we go way back” Harry explained to me, “Well its nice to meet you Gil, I’m y/n, Welcome to Auradon.”

Its been three weeks since Harry and Gil arrived at Auradon and I’ve been getting to know harry more and more, we sit together at the back of every English Literature class and I’m still giving him some extra help with catching up with the play. Through all the time I’m getting to know him better though, I’m beginning to develop feelings for him. So what that he’s from the isle, he’s sweet and funny and we get along so well, but there’s no way a great guy like him would ever be interested in  a loner like me.

Jessie and I walk back to our dorm rooms after a long day of classes. Stood before the door was a bunch of beautiful Sun flowers, my favourite, and an envelope with my name written on it. I picked up the flowers and envelope and turned to Jessie. “who’re they from?” she asked, “I have no clue” I replied looking down at the bright yellow flowers and opening the door before walking in. I place the flowers down on my desk by the window, and walk over to sit on my bed before opening the little envelope still in my hand. Inside was a little note. The note read ‘I am drowning in a sea of desire, and the only one who can save me is you.’ No name was left, just the short poem. “well, who’s it form?” Jessie asked from her bed on the other side of the room. “no name” I replied eyes locked on the hand written poem. “oooo, looks like someone’s got a secret admirer” Jess cooed while winking and shaking her shoulders at me. “Shut up” I laughed back, throwing a pillow in her direction.

As the days went on, I continued to receive more small gifts and poems. On the Wednesday I received a small teddy along with another poem reading, ‘it’s as if every atom in my body gravitates towards you’ once again without a name. Thursday, I received a small beaded red and black bracelet along with yet another poem reading, ‘You. You are my good days.’. I received about six more poems that I pinned to my cork bored in my room, all made me smile.

“I have an idea” Jessie said to me after I had finished reading my sixth poem I had been sent. “whats that” I asked, turning towards her. “let’s go on a stake out. We’ll wait in the room until we here whoever it is at the door, and then open in. simple” she explained, “I love it” I replied all excited. I’ll finally be able to discover who this person, who uses words so beautifully, really is.

We’d been stuck in the room for four hours waiting when we heard it. “No Gil, shh. Shut up.” ‘harry?’ I thought. “Why are you doing all of this anyway harry” Gils voic rang from outside the door as jess and I pressed our ears against it to get a better listen. “because I really like her, and she deserves something to make her smile everyday. I, I just hope I’m able to do that.”. “open the door” Jessie mouthed to me. I stared blankly at her, “or I will” she added. “okay, okay” I replied before grabbing  the door handle. With a deep breath I turned the nob to come face to face with Harry. His cheeks flushed red as he stepped back, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck. “Harry, it was you the whole time” I asked smiling at him. He looked me in the eyes for a split second, “uh yeah, um, how much did you hear” he asked looking nervous. “all of it” I replied.

Bending down, I picked up the note and small box that Harry had placed in front of my dorm room door. I opened the little white box to find the most beautiful silver neckless with a small wave charm on it and a ‘H’ charm next to it. “Oh Harry, it’s beautiful” I said in awe of the gorgeous accessory Harry had given me. I looked up to him, a smile lay perfectly on his face, with a sweet dimple popping put on his cheek. Next I unfolded the note, it read, ‘What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.’ My favourite line from Romeo and Juliet. He remembered.

I took a step closer to him. “Could you help me?” I asked passing him the neckless, he took the piece of jewellery from my hands and I turned around, moving my hair out the way. Harry put the neckless on, I turned back to face him, my hand clutching the neckless. Looking him deeply in his ocean blue eyes. “I – I like you too Harry”, with this, Harry’s face lit up, “you do?” he asked, almost as if he was in disbelief. “I do.” I smiled at him. Slowly rising up into my tippy toes to reach harry, as he bent down, somewhere in the middle our lips touched in our first of a lifetime of kisses.

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Wet Sugar” [Part 20 of 30]

Summary:  Yani's new life changes Erik...

Mature Audience. NSFW.

"No, I can't seem to get it, And in my mind I'm bettin' My time's made up, I gotta' go... And it's alright if you want, To see through your tomorrow, But right, now I gotta' go...

If you want to stay then you can be here with me, But I can't let go of all this love, oh no, so easily... I said, if you want to stay then you can be here with me, But I can't let go of all this love, oh no, so easily..."

Flying Lotus feat. Andreya Triana– “Tea Leaf Dancers”

"What do you think?"

Yani held up a pale lavender double-bed sheet set and Erik tried his best to be engaged but he wasn't. He felt depressed. Holding Sydette in his arms as Yani shopped for new bedding and pillows was not the way he wanted to spend their day. He wanted them to be on the beach swimming, or walking around the compound and catching vista views of the ocean. Or cooking food together in the kitchen with Sweet Pea wiggling all around dancing to music they played the way he used to do when he was a kid with his parents.

Yani was delighted buying things for her very first apartment, and Erik could only feel acid settling in his stomach. He wanted her to stay with him until Klaue arrived, even offered to pay her rent for the next month without her staying with the roommate, but she declined. She wanted Sydette and the roommate's daughter, Azriel, to be together from the start of their taking the space.

It was already difficult for him to watch her studying and reading and working on her classes at the compound and not have the free time like they used to. It was also difficult to deliver Sydette to Twyla or Cee Cee or even her sister Anika so he could work. There was so little time to be with both of them anymore.

He started getting high more to cope. Ease his mind to help focus on Klaue's weapons and the man's return. He was ashamed of how he was feeling. Acting like an entitled brat because he wasn't getting his way.

"Goose down, or synthetic?"

Yani held up two pillows for him to inspect.

"Goose down is hard to clean," he said.

"You're right. Synthetic it is."

She tossed three pillows into their shopping cart. Two comforters, pillows, sheets, bath mats, and shower curtains. He had to hold Sydette because there was no room in the cart.

"The electricity was turned on this afternoon, so we can drop this off there…"

She rattled off all the things she wanted to get done for the night and Erik nodded, only half-listening. He could probably deal with the move if he were allowed to come over and stay with them sometimes, but Yani and her roommate Nannette made an agreement that no men were allowed in the apartment for overnight stays until they were settled for a few months and got to know one another. Yani implemented this rule herself. She didn't want strange men around her daughter or coming around at odd hours. Nannette agreed even though she had no partner of her own. That would limit their time even more.

He wondered if their time together had run its course. Maybe she was trying to pull away from him nicely. He had been gruff with her and abrupt around the compound, a combination of his work frustrations, and also his worry over losing her so soon. He had been thinking they had a few more months of bliss, but the reality was changing.

"I got it," he said pulling out his wallet to pay for all the items she wanted.

He traded the baby for the cart as he pushed it to the S.U.V. He felt Yani's eyes on him.

"You've been so quiet…everything okay?"

He nodded his head, but she could see that he wasn't.

They rode in silence over to her new place and he carried all of her things in two trips up the stairs to the third floor.

Putting the baby on the floor, Yani showed him around.

It was spacious, brightly lit, and there was furniture in place. A new black leather couch sectional with a low coffee table and matching end tables took up the east side of the apartment. The small kitchen had room for a round dining table and he could see two high chairs already placed near it. His heart sank.

"Looks good in here," he said trying to perk up for her.

Sydette ran around as Yani took out the new sheets in her bedroom and made up the new bed he bought for her. Queen size for a queen. She fell on top of it when she had it looking nice with the decorative pillows her Aunt bought for her. She patted the space next to her and he crawled onto the bed. "I think I'll paint this room yellow. Make it look sunny…or maybe powder blue to look like the sky…"

Her eyes darted about making plans. His fingers reached for her face and he turned her head to look at him.

"Happy?" he asked.

"Mmm-hmm. Very."

She kissed his cheek and he kissed her lips back. He felt the pressure of her lips on his subside, but he pushed back harder and she pulled away from him. Her eyes regarded him with a seriousness he hadn't seen from her in a long time.

"What's wrong?" she said.

"Nothing's wrong—"

"You lie. Don't do that to me."

He laid back on his arms and stared up at the ceiling.

"I feel like we're drifting. I want you to have your own place…but I don't want you to leave me either."

Her fingers stroked his chest.

"I'm not leaving you."

He didn't say anything. His silence spoke for him. She leaned on her elbow and stared into his eyes.

"We lived like royalty with you. I'll never have anything like that again. I'll cherish that time with you there, Killmonger. I really will. This is just the next stage of my life. You are a part of that still—"

He turned his head away. She pulled it back.

"Things will just be different. I'll still come help my Aunt at the compound on the weekends. You can come see me and Sydette at night or you can visit her when she's out of daycare…"

She stroked his face and her touch made him feel the loss of them more. Sporadic visits wouldn't be enough.

A sense of shame came over him. Yani's words reminded him of the things he said to his old love, Disǎ when he was busy with his work and not around her as much. He finally knew what she felt like when he told her things would just be different. Different simply meant a drawn-out ending.

Erik pressed his mouth against Yani's neck and kissed his way up to her lips. Her lips melded to his for a moment before he made his way down to her t-shirt. He pulled up her shirt and unfastened her bra, tossing it on the floor. He settled his face between her breasts and suckled until her nipples were tight hard pebbles and his dick was a ramrod in his jeans. Her fingers played with his locs as he bit her tips, causing her to cry out with pleasure. It had been too long since he had done this with her.

They heard Sydette walking around pushing her little play lawnmower.

"You okay in there Sweet Pea?" Yani called out.

"Yes!"

Erik pinched Yani's nipples and her sighs made him throb in his pants. Sydette rolled her mower against the bedroom door hitting the door jamb. Yani pulled down her shirt and rolled off the bed.

"Where's your hair ties?"

Sydette touched the springy curls on her head, the two braids she once had were gone.

"Ova there…"

Sydette pointed out toward the living room.

"Go get them," Yani said.

Sydette took off running and returned with two purple silk ribbons.

"She will not leave braids in."

"Let her wear her hair out. She likes it."

Erik sat up from the bed, but waited a few minutes to let is body settle back down.

"Nannette is here," Yani said.

Erik heard the front door open and Sydette squealed and ran to the front room.

"Hey!" Yani said.

Erik picked up the empty shopping bags from around Yani's room and followed her out into the living room.

Nannette was a slender woman with long blue twists in her hair. Her daughter, a little girl about two months older than Sydette was touching Sydette's lawnmower.

"Nannette, this is Erik. Erik this is my new roommate."

Nannette had a nice wide smile with an overbite. She shook his hand and they all watched the two little girls mess with the lawnmower together.

"Did you see the bedspreads I got for the girls?" Nanette said.

"No, I haven't even gone in their room."

"Come look!"

Nannette grabbed Yani's hand and pulled her to another bedroom in the back that was right next to Yani's. Erik followed, curious to see what the girls' room looked like.

Two trundle beds were covered with Princess Tiana bedspreads with matching pillowcases.

"Oh my God! This is too cute!" Yani said.

There was a white and crème-colored dresser and cute overhanging lights with cartoon characters on them. A pink toy chest sat in a corner already stuffed with the things Erik had bought Sydette. The room was clean and neat. Sydette crawled onto one of the beds.

"This mine," she said looking at Erik.

"That's your bed, Sweet Pea?"

"Yes. See Princess Tiana?"

"I see her," Erik said.

Azriel climbed on her bed.

"I have Princess too," she said.

"I see," Erik said giving the other girl some attention.

"You all hungry? I brought food," Nanette said.

Yani looked at Erik, but he watched the two women and decided they needed to be in their own space for their first night without him intruding.

"I'll let you all settle in. I gotta run," he said heading toward the door.

"Baba! Baba…where you going?"

Sydette jumped off the bed and followed him, grabbing his hand.

"I'm going…"

He stopped himself. He was about to say home, but Sweet Pea's face looked stressed seeing him head out of her room.

"I have to do some things. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Her finger went to her lip and she turned to look at Yani.

"Tomorrow," Yani echoed.

Sydette looked comfortable with the idea.

Erik picked her up and walked her to the front door with him. He kissed her cheek as Yani rubbed her back.

"Come play in my room. I wahn show yuh..."

"What do you want to show me?"

"A secret."

"Secret? What kind of secret?"

Her dimples popped out and she whispered in his ear.

"A secret."

Erik started laughing. She lifted his spirits.

"Show me tomorrow. I'll bring you ice cream."

"I wahn show yuh now."

"Sydette…"

Yani stuck her face near her daughter.

Nanette took Azriel into the kitchen with her and Yani stroked Erik's back.

"See you tomorrow Sweet Pea. Be a good girl, for Mama."

"'kay."

He put her down and she lingered near them, her hand on Yani's leg.

He lowered his head to kiss Yani and she slipped him a bit of tongue which was a terrible thing to do to him because he only wanted to be with her back on her bed. With her breasts pressed into his chest, he let his hand dropped down to her backside and grip a plump cheek.

"I hate this," he said when he let her lips go.

Her eyes dropped away from his. He was making her feel bad. It was an unkind thing to do.

"I'll live," he said painting a smile on his face, giving her some dimples. Her eyes looked unsure so he smacked her ass and then squeezed it again.

"Call me tonight," she said.

"I will. Go enjoy your first meal in your new home."

"When we get settled, I'll cook you a nice dinner later this week."

"I'll hold you to it. Do I get some dessert with it?

"I'll give you some dessert."

Her voice was seductive.

"Go eat."

He walked down to his car and for a moment he sat in the driver's seat and stared up at the lights in Yani's new home. He had no right to feel sorry for himself. Yani was becoming an independent woman. She would soon have a career. But he felt like he was being pushed away. He hated the feeling. Abandonment. An all too familiar feeling for him. He hated everything about his life at that moment.

A coldness was creeping back into him. The type of coldness that made him reckless and mean.

###

Yani stared at the whiteboard in the classroom and took down notes as quickly as her nursing teacher wrote them.

Being in class was a totally ultra-accelerated experience compared to taking classes online. She did her best to keep up. She was smart. She knew this. Smarter than most of the others in her class. But the nurse/midwife program was not for the slow or lazy. The teacher expected his students to be prepared for the advanced level, and Yani was so thankful she spent time studying as much as she could before she started. If Erik hadn't made that free time for her at Klaue's, she would've dropped out after the first week of class.

Yani scratched the back of her scalp as she checked her micro-recorder to make sure it was taping the lecture. Her left leg bounced a bit inside her nursing uniform. The school required all the nursing students to wear actual nursing attire. It made Yani feel like a real medical professional.

Erik.

His face came to mind, and she felt a knot in her belly. She hadn't seen him for days and barely spoke to him on the phone between their texting. His messages were coming with less frequency, and Yani knew it was because she had put distance between them.

Her classes kept her busy all day, and Sydette's attendance in daycare proved to be a success and less of a burden on her Aunt and cousins. The nursing program helped subsidize the daycare costs because it was on campus, so Yani and Nanette drove the girls with them in the morning and Yani drove them all back to the apartment when Nannette was home from her morning classes. Yani had to stay for later classes because of the extra course load she was carrying. The timing of the traffic was perfect because Yani was able to make it back to her classes on time, and then spend the evening with the girls while giving Nannette a break. They had a perfectly set schedule that worked well with the children.

Sydette adjusted to being with strangers and one of the daycare providers even suggested letting her start pre-school early because she was so bright. Yani was proud of that. She wanted the best for her little girl and she felt like she was finally getting the outside support she needed. She didn't have to depend on her own family so much anymore.

She also didn't need to depend on Erik.

That was a problem. For him.

Her new schedule left little time for herself once more, and she fought tooth and nail for any bit of solitude she could get. That often meant late at night when the babies were asleep and she could finally get some sleep herself. The weekends found her watching two babies while Nannette worked a weekend job at one of the fancy hotels in the mornings. While the girls played in the living room of their apartment, Yani studied. Erik would come over then and in between toddlers running around and Yani trying to hit the books, there was no real quality time. Infrequent sex was heavy petting and occasionally quick bounces on his dick with clothes on while they sat on the couch when the girls napped on the weekends. It was always fast. Almost impersonal. Hot sticky fingers, muffled grunts and groans, and Yani keeping an eye and ear out for the children interrupting or Nannette coming home at unexpected hours depending on her work's flexible schedule.

Things turned ugly one Saturday afternoon when they were lying side by side on the couch. She wanted to take a quick nap and he wanted to slip his dick inside of her while they had a blanket over them.

"Not here…not now," she fussed, pushing his hand away from the waistband of her sweatpants. She could feel his erection pushing up hard against her backside, and his breathing was heavy. Nibbling on her earlobe, he pulled on her nipples and tried to coax her into giving in to his need.

"Let's go in the bedroom," he whispered in her ear.

She was annoyed. Tired. Her head hurt from trying to remember what she read for her homework. All she wanted was to feel his warm body around her. She needed him to stay awake to listen out for the girls while she clung to his arms and snoozed. Just for one tiny hour.

"Yani, c'mon…"

"Let's just stay here. I want to stay like this—"

"Baby…"

"You know these walls are thin. They can hear us, and you know it takes too long to get them settled again…"

He yanked down her sweats.

"Killmonger…stop."

"Let me get some…just a little bit. I ain't seen you in a week…take care of me…"

His fingers manipulated her breasts a little too hard and when he reached down to unzip his pants, she slapped his hands and pulled up from him.

"Just stop!"

He froze.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her tone was abrasive and he shrunk back from her.

"I need to sleep, man. While the girls are out, I need this time to rest—"

"Go get in the bed then. I'll stay out here and watch out for them."

He turned the channel on the tv and sat up away from her. His eyes ignored her.

"Killmonger—"

"Go to sleep. It's all good."

He reached between his legs and pushed down on his dick while zipping up his pants.

"Can't you see I'm tired? I don't want to mess around right now—"

"We good. Go to bed."

His voice was surly. Those big lush lips fixed in a pout.

"I already got one baby, mi don't need a grown-ass one too—"

"Whatchu say to me?"

His eyes cut to hers so quick. They were on fire.

"You heard me—"

"Fuck you really mean then, Ma?"

Cold.

His voice was so cold.

"I'm just tired."

"Then go to your damn bed and sleep."

He shoved her away from him hard and she struck his face just as hard. The ring she had on her pinky finger slid across his lip and cut him. A tiny sliver that bled.

His left hand swiped his lip and when he saw the blood, he shook his head at her.

"Get your ass in that room before you really mess up…"

She wasn't about to test him. She stood up and walked into her room, quietly closing the door. Laying on her bed, she curled up under the covers and tucked her fingers against her chest. Her heart beat so fast. She had struck him. Not playfully, or joking over something, but with anger behind it. She didn't want to have sex. Not at that moment. Maybe later after she had a catnap. But he was always so forceful wanting it. When they were at Klaue's she loved it. Loved him coming after her when he wanted it. Because she had wanted it too. Their summer paradise was made for that type of loving. It was September now, and playtime was over for her. Erik couldn't accept that. Just like he couldn't accept the fact that every other weekend Chez was allowed to keep Sydette. Court order. She didn't like it herself because she didn't trust Chez, and she didn't trust Ursula to treat her baby right, but there was nothing she could do about it. She had to allow it because Chez threatened to press charges against Erik for fracturing his jaw.

The weekends that Chez had Sydette, Yani would work at the compound with her Aunt. Klaue was back. Between work hours there, Yani would sleep in her Aunt's apartment under the main house and pretend to not know Erik at all. Except for those small sweet moments when he would caress her fingers as they walked past one another. Or bumped into each other in the kitchen. She thought there would be time for them to sneak away somewhere on the property and be alone, but that was not to be. She saw it working Erik's nerves. She saw how he treated the other men. They were scared of him, and she had to admit to herself now, she was beginning to fear him too. Fear what he was becoming.

The small moments at her apartment were supposed to be honey and flowers for them. They almost were except her schooling took precedent, and that took a toll on her ability to carve out enough sleep. It was a tiredness she could cope with because she knew there was a goal at the end of it. Unlike the time she spent drifting with her old jobs trying to keep her head above water, nursing school was taking her somewhere. Dividing her time between school and quality time with Sydette took precedence over sex sometimes. Erik acted like he knew this in the beginning, but two months in now, he was…he was a problem.

And she slapped him.

Cut his lip.

Whatever anger that was brewing in him since she began her education was deep and wide and she saw it when he shoved her off the couch.

She wept quietly in her bed and dozed off a bit before going into a deep slumber. It was dark when she woke up.

Jumping out of bed she went into the living room and found Nanette watching tv with the girls playing near her feet. "Hi," Nannette said.

Yani wiped her face.

"Where is-?"

"He left when I got in. Told me to tell you he would call you later. You sleep good?"

Yani nodded and swept back into her room looking for her phone.

No messages from him. She swiped his number.

He didn't speak when he answered.

"You left."

"No need for me to be there. Nanette can babysit for you."

"You still mad?"

"Nah. I'm good."

"What that mean?"

"I'm good. As in maybe we need to break. You have important things to do. I respect that. I got shit to do too. Every time I see you, you're too tired or we argue about petty shit—"

"I'm not going to argue over what my body needs to maintain itself. If I'm fucking tired, I want to sleep and you should just wait for when I feel like sleeping with you—"

"We don't sleep together no more. We barely fuck."

"So that's all I am to you now? Was to you…?"

Her throat stung with an ache that she couldn't get rid of.

"You breaking up with me because I wouldn't give you no ass?"

"Yani…it's more than that. When we're together, your mind is not there with me—"

"What about Sydette…?"

She burst into tears then.

She heard a heavy exhale on his end.

"I'm still going to see my baby girl—"

"But not me?"

"Yani…we gotta face it, baby. We're going downhill. We knew it was going to happen—"

"Not like this!"

Her voice wailed into the phone.

"I'm sorry I hit you. It was wrong. I was pissed. Killmonger…please…"

"Yani…"

She heard muffled talking in the background. Someone spoke to Erik.

"I'm sorry I pushed you. I was being an asshole….I gotta go—"

"Don't hang up—"

He was gone.

Her nose ran with snot and she felt her cheeks warm up with hot tears spilling from her eyes.

It wasn't fair. But it was their own fault.

She had crawled onto his lap and told him to his face so many months ago that they were stupid for trying to build a solid house out of sand on a rising tide.

Yani couldn't eat dinner and could barely keep up with Sydette as she tried to play with some giant puzzle pieces on her bed.

"Look, Mama!"

Yani nodded at the completed puzzle of a giant giraffe and fat hippo swimming in a lagoon. Sydette hit it to knock the pieces apart so she could put it together again and Yani could only look at it and think that her love life was always like that. Giant pieces that looked pretty once they were put together but inevitably, some force would come down and break it apart. Playing with Sydette gave Yani perspective. All she had in the world was herself and her daughter. Nothing and no one else.

She loved Erik fiercely, but he was just like any other man in her life. Temporary. He may well have been the love of her life, but he was not her entire life. That was something she had to create on her own.

She was comfy in her bed when her cell vibrated. She picked it up from her nightstand.

Come outside.

Short and sweet as always.

Yani put on her jacket and fluffy Bugs Bunny slippers and crept out of the apartment. Glancing around she saw Klaue's S.U.V. parked on the far end of the parking lot. She took her time walking over to him. The sharp snap of the car latch opening caught her ear and she climbed into the passenger seat. When his eyes settled on her, she started crying again. She hated it. Her throat was sore and swollen from weeping earlier in the night.

Erik reached over and pulled her onto his lap. The driver seat was pushed all the way back and she clung to him as her chest shuddered against his. He reached up and turned on one of the overhead lights

"Girl, I'm sorry…this ain't easy…"

He smelled like weed and expensive liquor. His eyes were bloodshot, but not just from the weed.

"I love you," she said, gripping his neck tight.

"I love you too, but…our priorities are different now. Like we knew it would be eventually…"

Her head shook against his neck and he held her waist.

"Klaue is moving on again soon. I gotta bounce with him…Yani…don't…listen to me…Yani…"

He pulled her head back so she would look him in the eye.

"I get into these moods now, and I don't think we should be around each other. I'm focusing on the new job at hand and I'm going to be involved with the men at the compound…and…I can't deal with you too. I miss you all the time, and I miss Sweet Pea…but I'm leaving baby. Better to cut bait now. I hate this shit, girl. I'm losing you and her—"

"We still here," she pleaded.

"I'll come see Sweet Pea and say goodbye to her soon—"

"When are you leaving?"

"I can't tell you that because I don't know. That's why I want to end this now. I don't want this to drag and cause more hurt feelings."

His forehead dropped against hers.

"You know this is best, right?"

She nodded. She felt like she was dying inside, but she knew it was true. Dragging it out would kill her.

"I'm still going to work at the compound. Auntie needs me."

"I'll stay out of your way. Most of us will. Shit is getting hectic over there."

Yani pulled back and stared at his lips. She wiped her eyes then kissed him.

"You do well in school. Keep your focus on that. Nothing else. Not even me. Okay?"

She nodded her head.

"Treat me like you used to and you'll be alright."

She smiled but then his eyes brought her back to the pain.

He rocked her in the car until her breathing became even again. She didn't want to let him go. But she had to.

"Go inside now. It's late as fuck."

She didn't budge. Curled herself up closer to his chest.

"Yani, c'mon…"

She pulled herself off of him as he opened the driver's side door. Slipping down from him, his eyes watched her every move. She willed herself to look strong. She knew this moment was coming…just didn't expect it on that day. She would've wagered another two weeks or maybe another month. He didn't want sex from her. He was craving the intimacy she wanted just like him. The intimacy they used to have. She wanted to quit the compound, but she couldn't let her Auntie down. How could she walk around that place with him there and not touch him anymore, or look at him with love in her eyes? What could she say to her daughter about her Baba not coming around anymore? He said he would still come see her, but why torture himself and them?

She moved slowly back to her apartment. He sat in the S.U.V. watching her, making sure she made it up safe. Once she was at her front door Erik drove fast out of the lot and she wondered how she could go on.

###

As always, he was true to his word.

Yani barely saw Erik. He knew her routine around the compound and made himself scarce. After a couple of weekends, it actually felt like he wasn't there. Leona kept her hours between lunch and before dinner, roughly five hours on Saturdays. When Chez had Sydette for the weekends, she would stay longer to help prep her Aunt for later in the week and to also do laundry and clean. It wasn't too much of a burden for Leona. There were only four men on site: Klaue, Limbano, a man called Unger, and Erik.

And as Erik said, they were kept busy with Klaue, so by the time meals were on the table, Yani could leave for the apartment to start laundry or cleaning as the men ate. She knew all the paths to avoid running into anyone she didn't want to see as she worked.

The few times she did spot Erik, he was right with Klaue and it was like everyone around them were ghosts.

School hummed along, and she actually went out with friends a few times when Klaue didn't need them to cook on the weekends. Once Leona knew what had happened between her and Erik, her Aunt tried her best to cook easy meals that didn't need Yani so much so she didn't have to be around the place.

Her heart still hurt, but Yani stayed mentally busy. Going out helped a lot. Having new guys push up on her helped a lot too. She didn't act on anything, but it did make her feel hopeful about truly getting over Erik.

She was redoing the floors in Klaue's house with fresh sealant when she heard new voices on the property. Erik was away on an assignment for Klaue in the states. She only knew this because he had gone to visit Sydette over at Twyla's when Nanette was gone for a weekend. He sent Yani a short text asking permission to see her and she agreed. Her baby girl had been grieving over him, and it hurt Yani's spirit to keep her away from him even though it would become permanent soon enough.

Yani put away her cleaning supplies so she could be nosey and walked up to the middle house.

"Oh, hey! Could you get me some fresh towels please?"

Yani stopped in her tracks as she stared at the light-skinned woman sunbathing topless near the pool. She was on a lounger with big sunglasses on and a tiny bikini bottom. She pulled down her sunglasses and stared at Yani.

"Did you hear me? Towels? You are Yani, right? The girl who works here?"

"Just a second," Yani said.

She walked up to the first house and checked on the pool towels that were tumbling in the dryer. She pulled out two hot ones and folded them quickly. She headed back down to the pool and handed the woman the towels. "Thank you. I'm Linda. I tried looking for some towels in the house but they weren't really pool towels."

Linda's curly hair was piled up high on her head. She was pretty and very matter of fact. Yani could see two other bodies moving around in the house. Linda took one of the towels and folded it over her chair. The second one she laid across her legs. Her chest, especially her breasts were tanning but her belly and her neck looked sunburned.

"Do you need some sunblock or tanning stuff?" Yani asked.

"Oh…no…I'm fine. I always tan uneven—"

"But it looks like you're burning a little bit."

Linda looked down at her chest.

"Ugh..you're right. You have any sunblock spray?"

"I'll look."

Yani left Linda and went up to the first house. There were pool supplies there. And also her Aunt.

"Auntie. When did that woman show up?"

"Miss Linda? She got here about an hour ago with two other men. Everyone is back."

"Everyone?"

Leona nodded and Yani went into the supply closet and pulled out two different types of sprays. She headed back to the pool and almost wanted to turn around and leave. Erik was standing out by the pool right next to Linda. He wasn't alone. Huntsman and Neal were there to. And so was that big guy from months before, Shipley. Linda had a towel covering her chest, and before Yani reached them, all the others headed down to Klaue's main house. All except for Erik.

Linda stood up and let her towel fall. Erik didn't even blink with bare breasts flashing in front of him. Linda had a slick smile plastered on her face.

This was the woman Erik traveled with.

Linda.

Yani felt her face get flush when Linda stroked Erik's arm. She hadn't seen Erik openly for two weeks, which was better for her of course, but seeing him now gave her butterflies in her stomach and a tingling rush across her chest.

That was still her man standing there. No matter if they had ended things. Roughly.

"You have two choices," Yani said.

She stood behind the lounger, her eyes on Linda. She could feel Erik's eyes sliding across her and she did her best to ignore it even though she felt herself trembling. Linda took the coconut-scented sunblock from her hand. She sprayed herself with a liberal amount of sunblock.

"Thank you, Yani."

Linda's voice was dismissive.

Yani headed back up to check on the rest of the pool towels. Her whole body shook once she was inside and alone.

Erik could have in-house pussy now.

Tahir had warned her that men like Erik used women. What would stop him from fucking that woman again?

Yani wanted to leave.

She threw up instead.

###

Erik was taking a hardline stance with Klaue.

They needed to move on Wakanda immediately. Before King T'Chaka started globe-trotting and making it difficult for Erik to claim his inheritance and blood right. He was tired of seeing the old King on tv with that smug-looking cousin of his. Claiming he wanted to be a broker for peace in the world. The fuck? A murderer claiming to want peace. In a world he had a disdain for. Turned his back on. Ruined Erik's life for.

T'Chaka needed to be in Birnin Zana when Erik took his life in front of the entire Wakandan Royal Court. He wanted that man's life blood spilling out on the floor as he turned his revenge on T'Challa too. He wanted the wretched King to see his son bleed out right next to him. They both could die together, side by side.

Erik wanted their Wakanda team to be small. Just Klaue, himself, Linda, and Limbano. They were the only trustworthy ones as far as Erik could tell from their behavior.

Linda was also pushing to make that move quick. Her greed for money was insatiable. She was even looking for side jobs outside of Klaue's sphere of influence. She was about her digital paper and pushed Klaue as much as Erik did.

Erik bought a plane ticket to London to be with his Aunt Serah in December. He would pick her brain and get as much museum intel as he could. He was also looking to see who would buy the vibranium once they hit the mother lode.

Erik had weapons devised to handle Wakanda and anyone else that got in his way. Klaue was pleased, but he was also scheming for more hits. It was hard for Erik to keep him focused on East Africa.

And then there was Erik's other problem.

Yani.

The more hectic the compound got, the more he tried to forget her. She was his peace, but he couldn't keep up the pretense of a life when it was about to be dashed to pieces. He hated the way he ended it. Erik thought they would have one last romantic day together, some time spent with Sydette—

Put it away.

Erik thought about the time he saw a therapist as a child. What was her name?

Dr. Davis.

The Black woman with big glasses and kind eyes. She taught him how to breathe and how to compartmentalize his anxiety and depression when it spiked. And he was spiking off the charts with both ever since he left Yani. He created an imaginary shelf in his mind as he did as a child. A shelf where he could put trauma up and away from him as he did in the past. Breathing deeply he imagined turning Yani and Sydette into tiny dolls. In his mind, he lifted them up and placed them high above him on a secure shelf. Once he placed them there, he imagined stepping away and not giving them attention less they cripple his ability to function normally. It allowed him to process his pain in small segments. It wouldn't disappear completely, but it helped him cope. Especially dealing with the high stress of being around Klaue and other killers.

It all seemed to work until he overhead Leona on the phone talking to Twyla when Yani was away from the compound buying supplies. She was on speakerphone as he was passing through to get some things from the dryer. He did his best to stay away from Leona too because her eyes seemed so hurt by their situation.

He heard Sweet Pea's voice and it felt like someone reached up and twisted the valves in his heart. His eyes shut tight and he almost started to cry. She was talking in complete sentences and asking inquisitive questions over the speaker and Erik pulled out his cell and texted Yani.

Can I go see the baby?

There was no immediate response.

Please?

He walked down to the middle house and sat on a lounger by the pool. Allowing his eyes to watch the dark blue water, he saw Jerome crawl across the pool wall. The iguana's eyes watched him, and Erik felt like the creature was judging him.

Could he blame him?

Erik did what he knew he was going to do. He allowed an irrational love to sweep him up, went into it willingly, and now he was reaping the shitty reward. He crushed a woman and her child.

You can see her.

Erik jumped up from the lounger, his heart thudding fast. It was the first communication they had together in weeks after he broke it off in anger. He ran to the car garage and grabbed the keys for one of Klaue's cars.

"Where are you going, mate?" Klaue asked.

Klaue stood in the doorway of the front house sipping on water and checking his cell.

"Weed run," Erik tossed casually.

"Hmmm. You seem to be smoking a lot lately."

"They got good shit here."

"Don't take long. Meeting after lunch."

"A'ight."

Erik felt nervous driving over to Twyla's house. She had moved near her job and they hadn't had contact in a long time.

When he knocked on the door of her cute little cottage, Twyla answered.

"Hey," he said.

"Good to see you," she said stepping back to let him in.

For some reason, he thought she would be abrupt with him. He had broken her cousin's heart. She seemed to read his mind.

"Big nigga. It's not mi business what went down with you and Yani, seen? You not normal, and she probably had no business fuckin' with you and whatnot. But I know you were the realest nigga to her in her whole life."

His head dropped down. Twyla turned her head.

"Sydette!"

"Whut?"

"What? Yuh talk to yuh Auntie like that? Come see mi now."

A whirling ball of legs and arms came running out from a back room with hair all over the place.

"I'm here!" Sydette said putting her hands on her hips, her eyes glued to Twyla.

"Lookie. Who that?"

Sydette's face turned, and when she saw Erik, her mouth dropped open.

"Baba! Baba!"

Her little legs ran in place. Erik bit his bottom lip and water dropped from his lids. He turned his head away.

"Hey…hey big man…no shame…" Twyla said patting his back.

Erik dropped to his knees and Sydette's little arms wrapped around his neck so tight.

"Baba? Why yuh crying?"

She patted his face and tried wiping away his tears.

Erik's throat was so choked up he couldn't even speak.

"It's okay Baba."

Erik wiped his eyes himself.

"Don't be sad Baba. I'm here. I make yuh feel better. Wait here…."

She ran from him and back to the room she came from. Erik stood up and Twyla rubbed his back.

"It's okay, Killmonger. I feel yuh."

Twyla's eyes were a little watery too.

"Oh look, it's Miss Penny," Twyla said.

Sydette came running back with the Black nurse doll Erik bought her that had the same black puffy hair as her with a tiny nurse cap sewn on the top.

"She make yuh feel betta, Baba. Here. Hold it."

She raised the doll above her head. Erik picked Sweet Pea up and rocked her.

"Thank you," he whispered. He coughed and tried to clear his throat.

"Have you eaten?" Twyla asked him.

"Nah."

"C'mon then. Got some stew peas and fish."

"Fish 'n peas!" Sydette sang out.

It was the best meal Erik had in a long ass time.

###

Chapter 21 Here

Tag List:

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[hotchocolatelovesyou]

Straight men, Patience and Jeremiah (Ethan x MC, Ethan x M!MC)

So.

I wrote something dumb about Ethan x m!MC, when MC discovers that Ethan left.

We are all disappointed for the last chapter but it’s still the third chapter, so let’s have some faith.

I’m sorry if there are some mistakes and if there are some explicit terms, but MC is not exactly in the right mood so why not?

it’s loooong and I’m open to all feedback!

+ English is not my first language so please be kind 🌸

MC’s name: Alejandro Amanti.

Warning: explicit language

(here we go)

Alejandro didn’t have exactly a good day and wanted to be alone. He was afraid that if he met one of his friends, he would let his disappointment vent on them.

Ethan was gone. He didn’t even say goodbye, he just fucking left.

Alejandro scoffed at the thought. Coward. 

Couldn’t blame him, though. Not really. 

It happened a second time… they had sex again. 

This time felt different though, even if in a really good way. 

The first time it happened, it was a big Skyfall of all the emotions that they had to limit. But now? These ‘emotions’ felt way more powerful. Alejandro couldn’t exactly tell why or what in particular changed, but he was sure that Ethan noticed that difference too. 

Maybe, that was the reason why Ethan left. 

But… really feelings were so hard for Ethan to understand that he had to fucking fly away, both literally and metaphorically? C'mon now. He was one of the most brilliant doctors on planet Earth, that wasn’t plausible. 

Alejandro felt dumb, narcissistic and egoistical just by having that thought.

Then again, if that wasn’t the reason, why? Alejandro himself brought up the topic of going to Africa and help the ones in need but Ethan answered that he liked a lot the idea but he was ‘too busy here to do this type of humanitarian work’. 

Anyway, the second time happened because Alejandro noticed a detail in the diagnosis of an eight years old child. She was adorable: every time she smiled, she showed her dimples. She looked like princess Tiana from the Disney cartoon, he told her so. The day after that she had a really cute tiara on her curly hair. Everyone honestly loved her and felt like they had to protect her.

Sadly, she was getting worse and worse every day, she couldn’t stop coughing and she was losing too much weight, too fast. She was so small…

The doctors didn’t know what to do, Ethan was too busy and so stressed by his patients that Alejandro didn’t want to ask him any help. He searched and searched and searched for days. Then, one night, he finally got it. 

Alejandro noticed the particular breathing she had by listening to her while she was sleeping and well… he did his job.

Her family showed him extreme gratitude and um, the news that dr. Alejandro Amanti solved the problem (“another one? The dude is a genius”, “why doesn’t he mind his own fucking business and let the rest of us do the job for once?”) fastly flew in the hospital. The little girl gave each one of the people who helped her a hug before living and her parents left in a similar style, obviously happy to have their baby healthy again.

Ethan heard the news too and, of course, of fucking course, he made sure that Alejandro knew that he was proud of him. To be honest, he didn’t even do anything in particular: he simply smiled at him, his eyes showing true affection. 

Those fucking eyes.

They met accidentally here, the same bar where Alejandro was now drinking, the same bar that let their flame finally breathe with freedom for the first time ('freedom’? Not exactly but whatever). Ethan congratulated with Alejandro, the pride he felt was very visible in his gaze. 

Things then started to be confusing, in Alejandro’s mind. 

They were alone, both living earlier, and Alejandro just had to close his eyes to feel again Ethan’s lips kissing him with such kindness that he might have melted right there, his back gently pressed against his bedroom’s door, their tongues caressing each other. Well, at least in the beginning. He actually woke up with some bruises the morning after, the feeling of Ethan’s possessive hands still lingering on his hips and thighs. It could have been a really good morning if only he didn’t wake up alone, his pillows still carrying Ethan’s perfume.

It was so tiring, loving Ethan. So fucking tiring. 

Alejandro had been initially scared of it. Not only he had a crush for someone who basically was his boss, but he… he wasn’t even sure it was just a crush anymore. When he finally had started to accept that maybe, maaaaaybe, he in fact loved Ethan, the older man acted like an idiot. 

Every single time Alejandro tried to take a step towards him and, possibly, a relationship between them, Ethan caressed his cheek and made more than ten behind. 

But Alejandro wasn’t an idiot, Ethan’s eyes weren’t a mystery anymore for him. 

He was surprised that, at this point, he could read Ethan’s state of mind by just looking at them. It was pathetic, honestly, but Alejandro truly studied Ethan. His gaze, his expressions, the way he walked, his gestures. He knew exactly when the switch between 'notorious professional doctor’ and 'sarcastic dumbass’ happened, it was a slight change that, however, made the whole difference in the world. 

Also, Ethan was different every time he interacted with someone. If Ethan interacted with his colleagues, he was almost cold and distant. Although, if he had a friendly-ish relationship with some of them, his behavior was more relaxed and he cracked a smile more easily than normal. If Ethan interacted with his patients, he was almost as reasonable as a machine, thinking the most plausible diagnosis, but being warm at the same time, especially with children or shier patients. 

God, he loved him. Fucking Ramsey.

Alejandro took another sip of his beer. 

The next day would have been his free day, he could afford to get drunk. He didn’t know how exactly he’d come back to the apartment but he didn’t care. 

That night was for him and his broken heart only, fuck everybody else. Fuck Ethan, in particular.

He chuckled, whispering lightly to himself “cheers to us cowards”, before drinking a long, long sip of his beer. So long, he finished it. 

“Aren’t you one of the doctors?” asked the barman when he ordered another one. Alejandro nodded slightly before taking it, not even watching him. He was always kind, alright? Just once, he could afford to be a dick.

“Are you sure you want another beer? You look you wanna get drunk, is that safe for you? Like, don’t you have lives to save or some shit like that?” Alejandro was going to snap at him but thought better of it.

Just tonight, just once, he wanted to be left alone. Tomorrow morning he would be the good old Alejandro again, all smiles and kindness. 

But right now, he just wanted to get really drunk in peace.

“Yeah, not tomorrow though. I’m gonna move right there if that’s okay. Would you take the next drinks to that small table from now on? Nice, thank you.” He didn’t even let the barman open his mouth, he just silently slipped to a really small table for two, in the corner of the room.

He kept drinking, alone, his mind couldn’t stop thinking about a particular shade of blue.

Fucking coward, he thought again.

Truth be told, he was no better than Ramsey. He just… fell in that shit harder than him, maybe. Probably. Alright, for sure.

He didn’t even know if Ramsey fell at all, his only hope lied in all the emotions he could read every time their eyes met, there was something somehow soft and tender in them every time Ethan looked at him. 

God, he missed his old him, when he firmly believed that all that romantic bullshit about reading eyes was, in fact, just that: bullshit. Apparently, it wasn’t. 

He truly got it bad, huh?

Alejandro ruffled his hair, annoyed with everyone and himself.

He was a coward too. When he found out about Ramsey, he wanted to punch things and scream and… and cry. He had never felt such rage and disappointment, Alejandro shivered at the memory of it. 

Even if he was empty now, he wanted a single night of letting things go. Just before the next morning, when he would start pretending everything was fine again. 

I’m going to get my shit together, but not now.

He wanted to call him and tell Ethan that he was a piece of shit (if not worse) but… he didn’t. He ended up taking his rage on his bedroom, smashing things and throwing things at the wall, yet, he didn’t call Ethan.

Alejandro thought about some of the reasons why he didn’t actually call him. 

A part of him was saying that he didn’t call Ethan because he was trying to, uh, be superior, because he was tired of being treated like that and blah blah blah. Deep inside, he knew that wasn’t the truth.

He didn’t try to contact Ethan because he was scared: what if Ethan wanted him totally out of his life and refused to answer him in any way? What if, in case Ethan answered somehow, he’d explicitly tell him that nothing could ever happen between them?

He didn’t even realize he finished his second beer, lost in his own thoughts. He was starting a third one, already opened, when someone knocked on the table. He didn’t care enough to do anything about it. 

It was the barman, giving him another beer and taking the ones he finished. 

“I don’t wanna anyone on my conscience, do you have a friend you can call after you’ve done?” With a grunt, Alejandro raised his gaze from the old wood.

“I’m in my twenties, I can take care of myself if I want to.” The barman highed his brows, not impressed at all.

“And, uh, do you want to?” Alejandro scuffed and raised his hands, shifting on the chair.

“Do I look like I want to?” He didn’t answer him, taking the time to put the empty bottles on the counter before coming back to him.

“Alright. Yo, Jacob, I’ll let you handle things for a few minutes.” With that being said, the barman took the free chair in front of him and sat down, pressing his back to the wall and facing the counter. It was Tuesday night, the bar was almost empty except for a few other people, with an old rock song in the background.

The man sitting in front of Alejandro was in his late forties, probably, and was very attractive. It was clear that he liked to take care of himself because his graying hair was gelled and his arms were really toned. He had a good profile, Alejandro watched his side while the older man lighted a cigarette. He took an ashtray from a table near them, making himself more comfortable on the chair before saying something.

“I’m Jeremiah.” Alejandro slightly inclined his beer towards him.

“Alejandro.“ 

Jeremiah smiled before starting singing the 'Ale-Ale-jandro, Ale-Ale-jandro’ from that old Lady Gaga’s song. The younger man rolled his eyes.

"Really? Very original.” Jeremiah smiled a little bit more, before taking a hit from his cigarette.

“So what’s the deal? What is going on?” Alejandro took a sip before answering, but he stopped because something wasn’t exactly right.

“This is water,” he stated, starting to be really irritated.

“You downed two beers, one right after the other, and it’s pretty late, I’m not sure you noticed. Do us a favor and drink some water, would you? Now, who broke your heart?” Alejandro shook his head before putting his arms on the table, his chin resting on his forearms. 

“A fucking doctor.” Jeremiah exhaled the smoke, moving his head to tell him to continue.

“He believes that nothing can or should happen between us because we are colleagues - well, not exactly - or some shit like that, and it would be unprofessional and it could ruin my future and his career and blah blah blah. Same old 'it can’t happen’, you know? Now he is so fucking away and I have a lot of shit going on even without him so who cares, right? It’s not even-” Alejandro was tracing some nonsense on the table with his finger while speaking but when he realized that he was invisibly spelling 'Ethan’ with his index, his voice stopped and couldn’t continue. 

Jeremiah pretended not to notice.

Maybe I truly should start switching beer with water.

“So it’s a man, huh?” simply pointed out Jeremiah. Is that the part he focused on? 

Alejandro was starting to feel sleepy. He straightened his position, his back heavily leaning on the top of the chair, too tired to be annoyed.

“Don’t go all homophobic on me now, it was you who came here. I like vaginas too, does it makes you feel better?” Jeremiah laughed wholeheartedly at that, causing the other few clients’ heads to spin in their direction with curiosity.

“We are in the same boat, son. You don’t have to worry at all” reassured Jeremiah, with a wink, before tapping the cigarette to make the ash fall. 

“Well, did you call him or something when he left?”

“I didn’t even fucking know he left!” replied Alejandro, rasing from his old position with a burst caused by his exasperation, starting to gesticulate.

“The night before? His dick deep in my ass. And then I woke up alone and with him on a fucking airplane!” He was way more annoyed than he supposed. He thought he released his anger by that point but evidently, it wasn’t like he believed. 

Jeremiah gently shushed him, almost like if he was dealing with a dozing child. Well, Alejandro did feel somnolent, so…

“He isn’t straight, is he? This is how straight men usually act. First, they whisper you the loveliest things then they come back home smacking their heterosexuality to everyone’s face. I had an experience like that and fuck, it hurt." 

Alejandro felt very sympathetic, even if he didn’t think that was his exact case. He rested a hand on Jeremiah’s forearm.

"I’m sorry.” Jeremiah shrugged it off, biting his lip with half a smile.

“I’m happy now, don’t even worry about it. Keep talking though, I’m interested.”

“He isn’t straight. Well, I didn’t ask him explicitly but it’s not like he goes out screaming that he is a straight man. And he is single. Plus, he knew what to do when he-well, in the right situations. He’s just… so fucking professional.” Alejandro sighed, a hand messing his hair. He was really tired. What the hell did he think? Everything was a huge mistake, everything.

He took a long sip of water, intending to empty it to sober up even if he didn’t feel drunk at all, just done with the world. It almost looked like drinking water was the only right decision he had made that night. Well, drinking water and spilling his heart with a stranger. 

“Then why didn’t you just call him?”

“To tell him what? 'I love you even if you’re a fucking idiot, please came back’? Hell no. And… and he’s doing something noble and brave, out there. He’s helping people who need support. I just-I truly can’t. But fuck if I don’t want to.” A moment of silence followed his words. When Alejandro looked at Jeremiah again, he was scrapping his beard. What remained of the cigarette was in the ashtray. 

“Gotta be honest, I’m still trying to understand why you don’t wanna contact him. I mean, no offense, but all you said? It sounded like bullshit. You could send a message or whatever else if you wanted too. I mean, with no pressure or anything, he’d answer at the right time. So, let’s be honest here, what is truly stopping you?" 

Alejandro bit his lip, unsure.

Admitting the truth to himself was one thing; it was easy and silent, a secret between him and himself only. But stating it out loud? God, he cringed just at the thought of it. 

Whatever. Jeremiah wanted an answer? He’d give him one.

"I'm afraid he might reject me..." Alejandro only successeded in whispering it. Jeremiah was watching him intently, allowing him to take a breath before continuing. He felt embarrassed and also a little pathetic.

"Besides, I have to respect his space. I don’t like the idea of it but if he needs space and time to think…”, Alejandro sighed before proceeding, “that’s what I will give him and even more.”

Jeremiah was completely facing him, a cheek on his hand, listening actively.

“You really like him, don’t you?” asked Jeremiah.

“I love him.” The older man smiled with affection, leaning a little bit more towards him.

“It looks like you’re a bit confused, son. But you know what? I’m actually sure you know what to do. The problem is that you don’t wanna do it.” He started getting up while speaking and raised his arms up his head to stretch.

“It’s funny 'cause”, Jeremiah put the chair back to its original position, “I’ve always thought that doctors were hella brave, you know? You guys are badass." 

He’s so wrong it’s almost adorable.

"Don’t let fear dominate you, Alejandro. Don’t ignore it, either. Go home and sleep, you’ll find a solution. Personally, my advice is to have patience. I think that whatever happens between you two is your business only. If you guys love each other for real, then you’ll find a way.” Alejandro sucked the inside of his cheek, unsure. Jeremiah made sure that he made eye contact, shifting his weight on the table, then he kept speaking.

“The truth will come out one day, somehow. It doesn’t matter how good you guys are at keeping your relationship a secret, it will happen. Does it really matter? What even is life without love?” Jeremiah stopped for a second, noticing that his tone of voice was becoming louder. He raised his chin to say goodbye to a client who was going home, then Alejandro got his whole attention again.

“Do you love the man? Keep fighting for him. It will be a long journey, full of disappointment and sadness; you’ll be on the verge of giving up many times. I’m telling from experience, love fucking sucks sometimes but damn, it’s worth it.” Jeremiah sighed, his eyes shifting on the wall, probably recalling some memories. 

“Honestly? You’ll never learn how loyal and devoted you can be to someone until you fall in love.” He met the younger man’s eyes again. 

“Alejandro, if you truly love him, if he loves you too but he has his head up his own ass, you should help him fight his fear. He’s probably way more scared than you are.” Alejandro was surprised, he had never really considered Ethan worried about something else other than his job and his patients. 

That is unfair. He worried about you, too.

“That is, though, the moment that he disrespects you or your decency as a human being is being discussed, you’re out of there. Am I clear on the last part, son? It’s his loss then.” Alejandro felt the urge to hug this man and punch something at the same time.

Why things about them were always so complicated? Why was he the one who had to be patient if Ethan was an ass?

He wanted to switch off his heart for a while. There was no time for all these feelings, thoughts about blue eyes and all the romantic bullshit. 

I probably wouldn’t, though, because I’m an idiot in love with someone who’s even a bigger idiot.

In the moment of silence that followed, Jeremiah asked him if he should have called an Uber for him and, with a smirk, told him that the beers were on the house.

“I’ll handle it, don’t worry. Um, actually, I want to apologize if things looked a little embarrassing.” The barman smiled at him, placing gently a hand on his shoulder.

“You are way more than welcome to come back, whenever you want. Just, don’t try to get drunk next time. Not for this shit at least, alcohol is never a solution. Deal?”

Alejandro blushed a little, well aware of how dumb and desperate he might have looked like.

“Deal. And thank you, seriously. Thank you.” Jeremiah winked at him, moving to go behind the counter again when Alejandro stopped him.

“Hey? Sorry if it’s too personal but I was wondering. Uh, what happened with the straight guy?” Jeremiah smiled brightly, his eyes shining not only because of the lights in the bar.

“I married him." 

Alejandro felt like a complete idiot because, really, he should have noticed the simple golden ring on both Jeremiah and the man behind the counter’s annular. 

When Jeremiah came next to Jacob, who was not only a colleague but also his husband, he didn’t waste time to slap his butt and give the other man a fast kiss on the lips.

He left the bar feeling way better than how he initially entered.

If Alejandro did end up writing a message to a certain doctor with blue eyes that night, it was his business only.

If Ethan didn’t answer, breaking Alejandro’s heart a little bit more, that was his business too.

But you know what? He had to have patience and he was more than ready for it.

Ethan was worth the wait.

[erikismybitch]

Waiting In Vain: Chapter 11

First Base.

Erik was coming over tonight . It was a spontaneous matter. He was coming to help her install her security doorbell. He told her he wanted to give her a gift , turns out it was just that. “You live alone , you need to know who’s at your door... people prey on women” he told her . She let him know that he probably needed to Install it for her . That was like music to his ears , he just wanted her to invite him over . Erik insisted that she let him do it . “You ain’t gotta pay nobody , I got you”

It was the end of the afternoon. Erik told her he would swing by late night , he was busy. It would be the first time she seen him since that eventful night at the strip club. She was dwelling on how it might be when he came , so instead of letting her anxiety get the best of her , she tried to occupy her time . She was on her living room floor . Watching youtube trying to find out how to add fake braiding hair to her natural style . Marley was a do it yourself type of girl , and never backed down from a challenge. Her living room was full of free strands of kaneklon . Her wild blow dried hair was pinned with every metal clip she could find. She took a deep breath and blew the hair out of her face , this was harder than she thought . This was only braid one .

“Oh my fucking god” frustration overtook her as she un-did the the braid for the third time . Marley started from the beginning , just as the chipper girl on YouTube showed her . Then there was a knock on the door right in the middle of the braid. Marley thought it was a part of the video, until she heard it again. Then it sounded like her door .

“Who is it!” she made her voice aggressive, a tactic she followed ever since she was a child . It always made her feel safe when she was home alone . Like the voice would scare the unwanted away. Silly, she knew that . Nobody responded . She figured it was another one of her elderly neighbors welcoming her . They had been bringing food and plants all week. One woman told Marley she reminded her of her grandchild, and spend the afternoon showing her pictures of her. They looked nothing alike , but Marley wouldn’t dare tell her that .

The knocks continued. She crept to the peep hole and looked out . Erik, who wasn’t supposed to be there until later was standing at her door. “Erik, I thought you were coming later” Marley observed him through the peep hole . He stood back with his feet facing out and apart . His hands held at his front holding the doorbell in a package.

“I’m here now, so open the door” he looked right at the peep hole , as if he could see her . Marley quickly moved to the side and tried her best to lay her big hair down. She really didn’t want him to see her like that . “Marley, what the fuck” Erik was growing impatient.

She opened the door slowly, but stood behind it . Erik walked in, a bit puzzled because he didn’t see her . She shut the door and prepared herself for his lude comments about her hair. He stared at it with big eyes, then began to laugh .

“Don’t laugh at me , I’m in the middle of doing my hair” she ran her hands through it and held it in a ponytail.

“What are you doing to it?” Erik was being sarcastic , he made sure to bug his eyes out for emphasis .

“I’m trying to braid my hair” Marley walked back to her living room and sat down in front of her laptop . Without saying anything , she pointed to the small tool box on her kitchen counter . Along with her power drill that she never really used . “Thank you for doing this”

Erik nodded and grabbed everything he needed to install the security doorbell. Marley continued to do her hair as Erik worked.

He kept the front door open , his glare reverting back and forth from Marley and the doorbell . She was so focused on what she was doing. It was pretty obvious to Erik that this was something she wasn’t good at . She kept cursing, huffing and starting over . He cut on the drill and it made Marley jump, that made him laugh again. But it only frustrated her further more , she tossed her fake hair across the floor .

Erik finished the doorbell with lightning speed, then came inside . Since she had no furniture yet, he sat on her kitchen counter . Marley decided to give up. Her arms were getting tired and her fingers were slightly sore. She took a deep breath and rested her arms behind her . Marleys soft face looked at Erik. He was already staring at her .

“All you need to do is connect your phone to the camera ”

“I feel safer already” she joked.

Erik hopped off the counter . He circled the living room and looked around. “Give me a tour” Erik held his hand out for her to grab, when she did he pulled her up with ease . She pretended not to be phased at how strong he was. Or how cute he was , or how good he smelled or how his dimples made her heartbeat speed up.

“A tour?” Marley asked , seemingly distracted by him. She even forgot that her hair was still a mess.

“Of the apartment”

Marley showed him every room except for hers, that was last . She made sure to give him the excuse that she’s working on getting more stuff . Marley was embarrassed at the fact that her place was so empty . Although Erik didn’t feel she had anything to prove . They stopped at her bedroom door . Marley gave this exaggerated speech about her exuberant room. She told him she didn’t let many people inside of her room. So it was a privilege for him to witness it.

It was light and airy. The wind from the open windows made her sheer curtains flow freely . On her floor was a huge lilac shag rug that made Erik want to take off his shoes and rub his feet on it . It was neat and organized, down the the matching vases full of flowers that sat on her dresser . Right below her flat screen . Erik fought the urge to ask her who molded her TV for her . But that wasn’t his place yet . Ironically, just like her , Eriks found his favorite part was her bed. Big fluffy and white . He thought she had to have at least twenty pillows on it . She plopped herself on it. Erik couldnt help but watch her chest bounce lightly .

“You hungry?” Marley questioned casually but her words lit him up.

“For you, always”

“You real corny”

“You like it though”

Erik was cocky , it had always got him far. He was mysterious to many , those who didn’t know him could literally see the guard he held up . But to know him, was to love him. Erik had a kind heart that he only revealed to a few. Most knew his other side . Erik could be cold , his emotions had the ability to cut off like a switch .

There was a light in Marley the first time he saw her . She smiled and said “Hi” to him. For the first time in his adult life, Erik found himself unsure of what to say. He was always quick and ready for any thing . That night he was stuck, so he decided to move onto something easy and familiar. Tiana.

Back in those past times, Erik admired how Marley was always working and busy . Coming in late all crabbed and tired . While he was fucking Tiana, he wanted to know everything about her day. That’s why he would catch her in the middle of the night in the kitchen. But that unfamiliar emotion would take over him and he always said something to offend her . As if he was punishing her for making him feel a way . It didn’t stop there . Erik enjoyed eating her good left overs when she didn’t come home at nights . He always ate everything she cooked, subconsciously pretending as if she made it for him. One night after he’d Put Tiana to sleep with the power of his penis, he went into her room . It was an oasis and seemed to be displaced in this apartment. It smelled so good, she always smelled so good. Marley had a big bed that was made perfectly. Her closet was filled with shoes like his . On her nightstand laid her iPod, he didn’t even know people still used those . It was connected to a mini speaker . Erik pressed play . Music began to play softly, Stevie Wonder Golden lady . He went home that same night , because he never spent the night . Erik shamelessly played Stevie wonder with thoughts of her . He tried to invade her privacy again the next night . Tiana caught him in her room . He played it off as if he was searching for condoms . Erik laughed about that often . It was amazing to him that she lived in a different apartment , and in such a short time she had managed to make it smell exactly the same.

“We can’t go eat with your hair like th-”

“I’m gonna fix it” She cut him off and went into the bathroom. While she used a spray bottle and some product to form a slick low bun. Erik told her he’d be waiting for her outside in his car. Marley found a hoodie that semi-matched her joggers . She slid on some sneakers and went outside.

Marley didn’t see him at first until he honked . “Of course that’s your car” she spoke to herself . A fancy sports something she didn’t know the name of . It was loud and white . He reached over and opened her door from the passenger side, which was a big step up from him honking . Erik took off down the road , driving past the speed limit . Marley didn’t fret because she drove fast too . He got on the freeway , Erik didn’t say much . Just mentioned that he wanted Mexican food, and he could only eat from one spot . Marley thought it was a little dramatic , it was a bit far from her house . Then again, looking at it as a person who loved good , maybe it was that good .

Erik exited at a part of the city that Marley didn’t frequent . He was taking her to the hood. Not that she felt too good to be here, she just didn’t have a reason to . Marley didn’t have a stuck-up bone in her body . If anything , places like this humbled her . Same with Erik . He wanted to see if she’d be comfortable in the setting , humility was important to him.

He parked in front of a hole in the wall Mexican restaurant. There was an unnatural amount of litter on the sidewalk and a middle aged homeless man who was asking for change . Erik ignored him , while Marley promised to take care of him on her way back out if he was still around.

For the place to be so run down. There were quite a few people eating inside . There were small booths with pepper sauce and napkins on the tables . Erik told Marley to sit down while he ordered for the both of them . Marley liked how he had taken charge, but warned him not to get her anything too spicy . She was easy like that . Erik ordered and stood at the pick up window for a long while . He scrolled through his phone casually, sometimes glancing at his surroundings and checking Marley out . They called his order number and he brought it back to the table . A platter of tacos with different meat, and sides of rice and beans. Two Mexican Cokes and pickled carrots. Marley was impressed , and wasted no time telling him so . He flaunted because he knew she’d like it .

They began eating , and conversing about everything under the sun . She spoke with food still slightly in her mouth and when she drank her soda she burped . Giving Erik a small look at the real her , without even knowing it. Erik thought she was so pretty , without even trying . It was the small things . Especially her loud laugh. She was laughing at something he said about a movie that they both had recently seen. Some super hero flick that they agreed wasn’t that good .

“Would you rather be a hero or a villain in a movie?” Marley asked him . She would bet her money that Erik wanted to be a villain . Erik played the villain in her life for a little while.

“You go first” he licked the salsa off his fingers and awaited her answer . Marley shrugged her shoulders slowly , she had asked that question without coming up with an answer of her own .

“I’m always somewhere in the middle. I’d probably be the hero’s love interest who died and he avenged my death” Marley took a sip of coke and began eating another taco , even though she was getting full .

“Damn girl”

“You’d be a villain huh?” Marley cheesed because she knew she was right .

“Definitely a villain, who wins”

Marley clasped her hands together and sprung her grand idea into action. “You would be the villain who killed me and the hero had to kill you” she stared off into space imagining the visual.

“Or I was in love with you and killed the hero for not protecting you from death”

Her eyes cut straight back to him , she was stunned. Especially with those words “love” and “you” formed together in a sentence .

“Did we just write a blockbuster smash ?” .

“We did, Marley”

The little smile she let out after he said her name left him curious . So he said her name again making her smile ever harder . Her version of blushing ,she tried to hide it with the bite of a taco . He found it adorable that he could make her nervous . But she could also be herself too. Erik was learning that Marley had these soft spots . When he got close to her , looked in her eyes too long , or said something provocative. And now , it was the way he said her name .

“What exactly do you think about me?”

Erik was also learning that he didn’t have her all figured out the way he thought . He didn’t know exactly what she meant with that question.

“What kind of question is that ?” Erik diverted with another question because he was unable to answer it .

“It’s a valid one” Marley’s tone was a little more straightforward now.

“Well...” he looked heavenward then back down before he spoke again . “That’s not a question I’m ready to answer right now”

“Judging on how we ended up in this situation, I need to know that I’m not making a mistake by entertaining you”

“So I’m just entertainment ?”

They both took a step back , not a literal one but just a moment. Marley thought she could have phrased that better . Considering that dealing with feelings head on may not be his strong suit. Erik didn’t want to make her upset, based on how he treated her in the past he understood the conflict. She opened up her mouth to speak, but Erik thought his response was more important. He interrupted her.

“Im here with you cause’...I want to be” it was plain and simple just like that .

Markey didn’t know if it was the itis that had kicked in and relaxed her . But that was actually enough validation for her . Right now. It was enough to get them started on whatever journey they were taking.

They finished their food , and since Erik paid , Marley cleared the table before they left . They both walked the garbage filled pathway to his car . The homeless man from before had gone . In his place an intolerably drunk man was approaching Marley’s side . Erik casually gripped her waist and moved her out the way , closer to him. The drunk man mouthed a few unrecognizable words but they just ignored him. And when he got too close to Marley again, Erik wasted no time threatening him . She felt protected in that moment. It was ironic though . In a sense Erik was the one who put her in the face of harm, but he wouldn’t let anything harm her.

He opened her car door from the outside this time . She got inside , and he soon followed . Strategically, Erik turned the volume up on his car audio. To Marley’s liking, Stevie wonder was playing . She stared out the window and hummed the melody to Visions ... she found it funny. A song she listened to when things weren’t going well . Visions, a song that asked the question, will things be better as if I imagined them. Maybe it was a sign that things were looking up for her .

He padded her thigh and let his hand remain there , she snapped out of Wonderland and turned to him. “You good?” He noticed how she had zoned out. She nodded.

“I just really love this song, that’s all”

Marley glanced at his hand, and fought the urge to slide her fingers in between his . Holding hands was one of the ultimate signs of affection to her . But if he pulled back , she couldn’t handle that rejection. So she did nothing , just allowed him to rest his hand there . Affection wasn’t the only thing she wanted to feel , Eriks hand was at the top of her thigh signaling her blood to rush to the pleasure points of her body . She cleared her throat and released tension .

“You liked the food huh” He basically told her .

“Hella good” Marley joked about how that might be her new Taco spot . Erik said it was cool, as long as he was with her every time . That was a deal she happily made . He soon pulled up to her apartment complex and found a spot right in front of the fountain . The water was all they could hear on account of the cars silence. Marley wanted him to come inside badly . She wasn’t sure if sex was the right thing to do so soon, but her body said otherwise. He wasn’t moving .

“Alright then” he hit her thigh softly , in a “be on your way” type of manner . Then placed it back on the wheel .

“Bye, thanks” The look disappointment she could not cover. He could tell too. Right as she opened the door to exit, Erik grabbed her back inside by her left arm.

“It’s not that I don’t want to come in” he gave her a once-over . “Trust me ,I do... I do for real I do” he repeated himself .

“It’s okay” that look of dissipointment was still there.

“I put some stuff off to see you early, it can’t wait” Erik didn’t want Marley to feel like he was pushing her away.

“ I said it’s okay” she sounded as if she was trying to convince herself as well as him.

“You had that look on your face , I just had to let you know” her face crept into a smile . All Erik did was make her smile this day . A big change from how they used to be. Erik intertwined his fingers with hers and kissed her palm . “Bye...be good, answer when I call”

“I promise” she took her hand back . He melted at the innocence in her voice. Marley shut his door and let him go. She walked to her complex entrance , Erik waited until she shut the lobby door to pull off .

“Promise , who says promise !” She palmed her face in embarrassment. A few tenants were in the lobby staring at her oddly for talking to herself . But she didn’t care , all she cared about was Erik .

[mechaspirit]

For the new 25 lore asks! ONE, TWO, SEVEN, & TWELVE

ONE| Will your OC and their LI ever have kids? If yes, describe their children! Looks, personality, what traits they draw from which parent or whether they would adopt.

Yes they do! Eventually, Iris and Asra will have two kids, Elias (older) and Aida (younger).

Elias has long, white hair and blue eyes like Iris. His skin is light and has dimples like Asra when he smiles and laughs. He shares similar fashion sense with Asra, with the long vest and scarves in various shades of green and blue. Personality wise, he’s like his mother, Iris. Kind, determined, open-minded, and sometimes clumsy. And that last part almost cost him a date with his crush. Like Iris, Elias loves to read and often gets too focused on the books he’s interested in. He is thinking about becoming a scholar to learn more about the secrets of magic and possible different dimensions someday.

Aida has fluffy white hair, which she sometimes tied them to a ponytail to keep them still, and violet eyes like Asra. Caramel skin and her facial features mirrors Iris. Aida is more into a feminine, yet comfortable style of outfits. Her main ones usually consist of a lavender shirt, burgundy skirt and brown boots. She sometimes uses a pink scarf as a traveling cloak. Aida took some personality traits from Asra, free-spirited, mischievous yet gentle and kind. Unlike her brother, Elias, Aida rather uses magic to entertain people like how Asra used to when he was living on the streets.

TWO| Does your apprentice have a gate? Describe their gate. How did they come to make it?

Iris came across her gate when she fell asleep. In her dreams, she came across a metal door and opened it out of curiosity. There, she appeared on an island underneath the starry sky and saw a lot of magical sea creatures appearing out of the water and then floating around her. It’s actually quite a fun experience for her and she only goes there as a place to relax or whenever her magic calls to her over there.

SEVEN| If your apprentice could appear in any show, whether it be as a cross-over or maybe they would just fit particularly well in that show, what show would it be? Why?

There is one show that sticks out to me that I believe Iris would fit in. It is called “Once Upon a Time”, and if you don’t know what the show is about, OUAT involves fairy tale characters coming from the enchanted world only to be cursed by an evil queen where she sends everyone including herself to a modern world, which is a real world with no magic. Everyone’s memories from the enchanted world are erased and are replaced by cursed memories. The only one who can break the curse is The Savior, who is actually Snow White’s and Prince Charmings' Daughter, Emma Swan.

And I can see Iris being able to adapt to both worlds. In Vesuvia’s version of enchanted world, she can use magic to defeat evil and happens to be knowledgeable about curses and spells. And she loves to go on adventures. Not to mention, she was put under a sleeping curse by The Devil and then Asra wakes her up with a True Love’s Kiss. Then, they have kids some time before the curse hits and couples come up with ways to protect their children from the curse by allowing them to keep their memories of each other as family but still be able to go to the modern world. After the curse hits, Iris’s memories are gone, including the ones with Asra in it, and are replaced by the curse memories. She works as a librarian near Nadia’s mansion and looks after her aunt’s shop all by herself. Her everyday life goes on until one of her children (either Elias or Aida) knocks on her door and introduces themselves as her kid.

Iris: ...Hi. Can I help you?

Kid: Are you Iris?

Iris: Yeah. Who are you?

Kid: I’m your son/daughter.

Guess what her reaction might be, lol. 😂

I’m thinking this could be a good AU (alternative-universe) fanfic for The Arcana. I mean, some of the character traits from OUAT can befitting the characters in The Arcana.

MC (Iris)- a mix of Snow White, Belle, Emma Swan. Being a heroine, damsel in distress, and intelligent.

Asra- Prince David/Charming (for obvious reasons), Jiminy Cricket (because Asra would often give advice to his friends to help them), Merlin and Blue Fairy (he is a powerful magician and will only use magic for good).

Julian- For Julian, I’d say Captain Hook (because they’re both Pirates) and Dr. Victor Frankenstein/Dr. Whale (Minus the questionable psychological mentality). 

Nadia- also Snow White (because Nadi was put into a deep sleep after the ritual in TA). And Queen Tiana (only showed up at the end of season 7) because she wants to make Vesuvia a better place and relies on her friends and sisters for help.

Muriel- I think Muriel is more likely to be the Huntsman. Like how the Huntsman was doing evil biddings for the Evil Queen by killing Snow White, Muriel was forced to do Lucio’s bidding by partaking in battle tournaments and killing all those people.

Portia- I can see Portia as Red Riding Hood. Minus turning into a wolf part. She’s loyal to her friends and has a fiery personality that would make you question otherwise. And she’s good friends with Iris and Nadia.

Lucio- Evil Queen/Regina Mills because he was a Count of Vesuvia and made bad decisions that cause everyone’s suffering (I’m sorry Lucio Stans. He’ll have redemption arc if it makes it better).

The Devil- Rumplestiltskin (because making a deal with The Devil is just as bad as making a deal with Rumplestiltskin)

Bonus character comparison:

Either one of Iris' kids, Elias or Aida, will be Henry Mills (Emma Swan’s son) in this AU. They will search for her and help her regain her memories along with the people of Vesuvia.

Also, if you’re a fan of Disney, then I think you might enjoy this show too. I recommend it.

TWELVE | Would your apprentice, given that they’re really more of a master, ever take on an apprentice of their own? Do you have an OC in mind for it? What would they be like?

I’m not sure, yet. I mean, if Iris were given a chance to have an apprentice of her own then I’m certain that she’ll be more than happy to teach them. And maybe that certain apprentice will help her work around the shop before she can actually teach them magic.

Edit: I forgot to add this part, but Iris will teach her children magic along with Asra, Aisha, and Salim. ❤️

Thanks for the ask! ❤️

[pixie-skull]

103rd edit and this was so much tiny detail, yet for being sleepy, I did well, I am at least proud. XD I took a guess in thinking the necklace shown is a nod to the original The Hunchback of Notre Dame, yet I kept to Disney’s colors and choices for I just adore their version. Shout outs to @night130 and @airasora who also love this wonderful character. ^_^ Kinda interesting to point out the concept art shows Esmerelda with dimples, yet in the final cut, she has none. Also, for the necklace, I suspect it two charmed because it is in movement, hence again two stones. :D See my Meg one, please. Hopefully, I can find this one concept art of Tiana’s hair down, I remember being released or advertised with the DVD release of Princess and the Frog.

P.s HUGE REALIZATION! O.O @thenamelessdoll​ You subconsciously inspired these edits too. :D I am sorry for not giving you credit.

[calofdunbroch]

Merry Christmas Darling

I've just one wish on this Christmas eve I wish I were with you

Tiana’s was hardly ever empty. One of the most popular dining spots in all of Auradon City, there was almost always a wait. But today was different. The restaurant had been virtually empty, with just a few stragglers and lonely diners floating in and out. Currently the number of patrons could be counted on both hands. Two old men sat across from each other, laughing over a tall plate of beignets and reminiscing of holidays come and gone. A family of four were snuggled into a tiny booth; the two children’s eyes widening as the lone waitress dropped their cups of hot cocoa before them, a mountain of whipped cream adorned with green and red sprinkles slowly melting into the warm beverage. At the other side of the bar sat a man with his scarf wrapped up to his ears, quietly humming along as Karen Carpenter crooned a sad, slow holiday jingle from the radio, pausing only to enjoy a spoonful of gumbo every few seconds. 

Callum sat alone, watching the other patrons with a quiet reverence. His gaze followed them curiously, dropping down to then allow his hands to replicate the scene on a page in his sketchbook. Despite the invitation, he had opted to decline Beatrice and Fairy Godmother’s request to host him for the winter. As much as he would have loved to have been there, spending time with the horses and other creatures on their quaint farm, Callum felt uncomfortable with the idea of invading on the holidays. It felt like too intimate a time to be in another person’s home. But most of all... He hated the idea of anyone being audience to his homesickness and melancholy. This time of year brought that sadness that lurked within the deepest reaches of the boy directly to the surface, bubbling and desperate to break free. His stoic nature and powerful reserve were no match for the warm tears that seemed to lull him to sleep almost daily. He missed home, more than he’d like to admit. It had already been over a year since he left Scotland, and would be even longer before he could rightfully return. Time was weighing heavily on him, and the last thing he wanted was to appear vulnerable in front of anyone else. So he did his best to lock up the feelings, straying out into the cold only to be at this empty diner where the other patrons were too occupied in their own little worlds to pay him any attention. 

“That’s really good. I’m impressed... Really. Are you studying illustration?” 

The worlds pulled him from his thoughts, his hand pausing mid pen stroke as he looked up in time to meet the warm, chestnut colored eyes of the waitress. She’d been making frequent rounds to check in on her customers, perhaps the only people she had been able to interact with most of the day. It was Christmas Eve after all, very few places were open and even fewer people were going out. 

Cal followed the trail of her gaze to his sketchbook where he had been doing his best to replicate the wide smile the little girl across the way made when she first got her hot cocoa. Subconsciously he glanced towards the child. The whipped cream was long gone, remnants of sprinkles now peppering her chin as she giggled along to something her father said. “Uh... Aye, yes,” he finally blurted out. “I study art over at AU. It... Kinda keeps me calm.” A grateful - albeit rather small - grin graced his lips momentarily as he moved his pen away from the book. “Thank ye, for the compliment.” 

The waitress shrugged, “I’m just giving credit where it’s due, kid. You’ve certainly got a gift there.” She flashed him a warm grin, which Callum hadn’t noticed he reciprocated, before nodding at his empty mug. “Would you like some more coffee?” 

Blinking, Callum spared a glance at his cup. He had almost wanted to say yes, until he’d noticed the time. Quarter after five. He needed to go. Shaking his head, he closed his sketchbook and began gathering his things. The waitress laid his check down on the counter but Cal barely registered it before fishing out all the cash in his wallet and dropping in onto the counter. The waitress gathered the bills, her eyes widening at the amount he’d laid down. “Um, sir,” she began to protest but her words were drowned out by Callum’s exclamation of, “Happy Holidays, ma’am, have a great rest of yer Christmas Eve, aye?” 

And before more could be said, the young man got up and walked out of the diner, ducking his head as the icy winter air kissed his the exposed skin of his face. Callum readjusted his scarf to cover his vulnerable ears as he began the walk back towards campus. He couldn’t be even a second late. It was rare that he got opportunities to talk to his mothers, and given how desperately he missed them... He didn’t want to chance missing any second. Listening to the rhythmic crunch of the snow beneath his shoes, Callum practically ran back to the dorms. His roommate wasn’t in. Thankfully. Callum was gifted with an empty dorm throughout most of the holiday break. He had no idea where the Hart kid had run off to, and honestly he didn’t care. He wanted privacy for what he’d been anticipating all month long. Within the warmth and seclusion of his dorm, the young man tossed aside his heavy winter coat and tartan scarf, shaking out his wet hair to wipe out the snow flakes that gathered upon his head on the walk, and settled down onto his desk. 

His hands smoothed over the cool lid of his laptop, closed and waiting to be used. As his fingers began to push the monitor up, he paused and looked at the alarm clock he’d had by his bed. Just five minutes until six. Showtime. With a deep breath, Cal pushed the monitor open and quickly typed in his password, waiting impatiently as the computer came to life. Skype instantly popped up, already prepared for the call, and Callum sat straighter in his seat as he waited for the chime. The second he heard it, he’d wasted no time in answering, and his eyes widened as the screen came alight. At first the image was pixelated, but it wasn’t too long until the lag cut off and everything came into focus. The first thing he saw were bright cerulean eyes, equal in shade and shape as his, framed by thick dark hair and followed by a smile that made his heart both soar and ache. 

“Cally,” The nickname came out in a breathless whisper that the microphone had barely picked up, and yet Callum heard it loud and plain. A smile larger than any smile he’d managed in the past year spread over his face, dimpled and full of the kind of happiness only two people could bring out of him. Before he could speak, Caitriona was turning away from the screen to call out to another. “Mer! Mer, come quick, He’s on! Come over ‘ere, a leannan.” 

“Alright, alright! I’m comin’,” Cal could hear coming from the background. It was not long before a flash of red appeared on the computer screen, a petite redheaded women coming into focus, as Merida joined Cait before the monitor. The second she sat and came into focus... Callum thought he was going to lose it. “Oh, my boy,” Merida practically melted, her gaze, full of love and joy, clearly fixated on the monitor. “Oh my sweet, sweet boy!” 

“Ack, dinnae tell me yer already crying,” Cal chuckled, hiding his face as if he were embarrassed. In truth, he was checking to be sure his eyes hadn’t betrayed him just yet. There was a slight quiver to his voice as he spoke which he hoped his mothers hadn’t picked up on just yet. 

“Shut yer mouth, I’m nae crying,” Merida responded, Cait laughing softly along in the background. She shook her head but her grin had not faltered one bit. “I’m just so glad to see ye - it’s been a wee bit.” Both of their eyes were scanning the screen and Callum suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable under their scruitenizing gazes. Video call or not, they knew him better than anyone and could read every subtle twitch in his expression. He held his smile, though, a grin which for once reached his eyes and conveyed his happiness at just hearing their voices. Merida’s brows furrowed in response, which had him momentarily worried until she said, “'S it just me or does he look wee skinnier than he did last time we skyped?” 

Cait lightly smacked her wife’s arm in response, shaking her head at her, and turned her attention back to the screen. “He looks fine - You look fine. How are ye doin’, Callum? How have yer classes been? Tell us everythin’! We want ta ken all about it.”

“How’s archery been goin’? Ye been practicing, right?” Merida added with a bit of a stern voice which contradicted the beaming grin on her face. 

Callum resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead chuckling under his breath and shaking his head lightly. “Yes, mum, I’ve been keeping up with archery. Two hundred and fifty shots a day, six days a week... Just like ye taught me.” 

Merida nodded curtly, about to respond when Cait interrupted her. “Oh never mind that! The two of ye can talk about archery another time - I want to hear about everything else. Tell me about school - How have ye been doing? Have ye been making friends?” 

Before Cal could respond, Merida added, “Wooing any young ladies?” The young man groaned in response, burying his face in his hands. He could hear Cait hissing something at Merida, likely chastising her for the outburst. Merida responded with a louder, “What? He’s a grown man now. And I would like some grandchildren before I’m old and gray like mammy is. Ye hear that? I want grand babies, Callum, that’s my Christmas wish this year.” 

Callum’s head rose from the comfort of his hands. “Ah, yes, speaking of which - Happy Christmas. If I’m nae mistaken, it’s after midnight over there... How in the bloody hell are ye two hags up this late?” He spoke affectionately despite the insulting words. Both of the women erupted into laughter on the other end, speaking over each other. He caught some of the gaelic words being flung at him, but just smiled in response. “To answer yer many questions - I’m doing alright, mammy. Classes have been good, I’ve gotten a few clients over the past few weeks which has meant extra cash in my pocket. Ye know... Aside form the money the two o’ ye sneak into my bank account. Aye, I ken what yer up to.” He chuckled, not about to pick a fight with them about it but appreciative nonetheless. Obviously Merida and Cait weren’t fans of their only child living the “starving artist” lifestyle, he couldn’t blame them for worrying. “I even gave a piece to the King of Auradon, odd as that sounds. Still not really sure how that one happened, but it did. I’m making friends, yes, though nae always willingly. And... No. There are no ‘young ladies’ in my life for ‘wooing’. Sorry, yer gonna have to keep that Christmas wish for another year, mum.” 

Merida let out a sigh and turned to Cait, her voice low but not low enough for the mic to not pick up. “He’s still stuck up on that Charming girl.” 

“Wha - I... I’m nae stuck up on anyone!” His cheeks burned as he protested, though the women were not listening.

“Aye, well, she is a pretty little thing last I remember,” Cait conceded. 

“And charming, probably,” Merida snorted. “Oi - why can ye nae date that Anderson girl? She’s cute. And she talks to ye, right? Probably the only girl that does.. He’s so hopeless at socializing. Honestly where did we go wrong?” 

“I’m just fine at socializing, thank ye very much. I have some friends,” Cal tried to interject, but the women were quickly speaking animatedly over him. 

“Ooo, Elsa’s girl! We do like Queen Elsa,” Cait responded to Merida instead. 

Merida snickered. “Well you most certainly like Elsa. More like fancy her, ye do.” 

“I do nae. Stop that.” 

“I’ve seen the way that ye look at her. I understand, she’s a bonny lass. Nae as pretty as ye mo nighean donn, but.. Well that is a sandwich I wouldnae mind being caught in...” 

“Can we please stop talking about my friend’s mum like this?” Cal groaned, hiding his face in his hands again. He was beginning to remember the one downside to family skype calls.

Cait narrowed her eyes at Merida before turning back to her son. “Anyway. I’m glad to hear yer doing well, Cally. Ye ken... We worry about ye often.” There was a sudden shift in the tone and Callum became aware of that lump that was sitting in his throat. He felt a new warmth in his face, followed by that sweeping melancholy that settled in whenever he thought too much about home and how much he missed it. How much he missed them. His eyes burned. 

“Aye, I ken,” he said hoarsely. 

She continued, “It hurts that we have to communicate like this... That ye cannae just come home and be here with us to celebrate the holidays. They’re just nae the same without ye. Everyone - absolutely everyone - misses ye terribly son. There’s a gaping hole here and we just... Nothing can fill that. We miss ye so much.” Cait’s voice broke and she turned away to subtly dab at her eyes. Callum didn’t see this though. His eyes had dropped to his hands which sat folded in his lap. He could see his gaze growing hazy but bit back on his tongue hard and willed the tears to stay inside. 

“Things could be different, ye ken.” It was Merida who spoke now. “If ye just... Came back, and faced the lairds’ sons... Then things could be different, Callum. Ye could come home, whenever ye wanted to. Ye could be here with us.” 

He blinked, jaw tightening to the point where he thought his teeth might shatter from the pressure. He could hear Cait whispering a warning to Merida, but he didn’t pay it much attention. Looking away, his gaze landed on the tartan scarf he’d been wearing earlier. DunBroch Tartan. The Tartan of the Royal Family. He felt another emotion rising up in him, the embers of his anger smoldering in the pit of his stomach. He felt sick.  

“All ye have ta do is -”

“I ken what I have ta do,” he barked back, annoyance coating his words. He closed his eyes momentarily, willing his fury to calm down. It had grown quiet and Callum sat still for a while, attempting to get his breaths to even out. 

“Ye dinnae have to do anything,” Cait finally said in a stern voice. He glanced up to see that his mothers were staring at one another, a silent battle brewing between them. They quickly dropped it and both looked back at him. “Dinnae worry about it. We are working on that. Every day we all work tirelessly to stop this conflict with the lairds. Yer mum and I, yer gran, even yer uncles have started joining the conversations... We’re certain we can pacify them and get them to back off from the call for a Highland Games. And once that is settled then ye will come back, Callum. Ye’ll come home and we will all be waiting here with open arms, ready to welcome our prince home.”

“Because that is what ye are... Yer the prince of DunBroch,” Merida added firmly. 

Callum looked away again, just letting the words hang there. Prince of DunBroch. That’s what they were fighting over ‘tirelessly’. A title - his supposed birth right. Yet Callum felt far from it. He didn’t feel like a prince. He barely felt like a member of the clan most days. Still, he bit back the feelings threatening to spill over and just nodded and smiled half-heartedly at them. “Aye,” he breathed. Blinking, he hadn’t realized how misty eyed he’d gotten, his gaze shifting to the clock. How had they only been talking for half an hour? He sniffled and smiled again at them. This time his smile had not reached his eyes, which remained stormy and distant. “It’s getting a wee bit late over there... Ye must be tired. Perhaps I should let ye go.” 

Both women appeared crestfallen, and Merida opened her mouth to protest. But there was a look of understanding on Cait’s face. She knew him better than most - after all, he was her son by blood. Her smile was small and warm, but there was a sadness teetering on the edge of her expression. “It has been a long day... The family of course sends their love, Cally. Gran Elinor, yer uncles... The dogs even.” All three let out breathless chuckles. Callum wanted to ask where they were, but the last time he had skyped and the dogs were in the room they went wild at the sound of his voice. It was better this way. More quiet. More intimate. 

“We love ye, Cal. And we will see ye soon... Sadly nae in time for Hogmanay but, hey - maybe ye could try introducing it to those Auradonians. Make some actual friends that way, aye?” Merida spoke in a teasing tone, trying to lighten up the atmosphere of the call, and Cal couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, as well as the eye roll.  

“Who’s hosting Hogmanay anyway this year?” The women looked at each other before responding in unison, and in a monotonous tone, with, “The Dingwalls.” The boy grimaced and shook his head at them. “Aye, well... Hopefully it’ll be a good time.” 

“I’ll be very drunk, so I’m sure it will,” Merida laughed, and Cait shot her a look that seemed to contest her plans. They fell into another silence then, though this was more comfortable than the last. Callum swallowed against the hollowness in his throat, sniffling as he fought, and failed, to conceal some of those hot tears which wanted to fall. “Soon, M’annsachd,” Merida added. “We will be together soon.” 

As he swiped at his cheek, the only thing he could think to say in response was, “I love ye both. Happy Christmas.” His jaw clenched and his gaze dropped from the screen, unwilling to let them see the pain in his eyes. He didn’t want the call to go this way - he didn’t want it to end on such a sour note. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he just maintain his composure and have a good talk? He didn’t even get to find out what was going on at home - how the family and the staff was. He felt even more distant from them and his homeland than he’d ever felt before and it was all his own fault.  

“We love ye too. Happy Christmas, Cally,” Cait spoke up for both her and Merida. They fell once again into a silence, which hung in the air a moment longer. Callum sucked in a breath, ready to look up and see them one more time. But before he could, he heard the chime signaling the end of the call. When he looked up, the screen was blank, and the warmth that had entered into the dormitory, and seeped into his bones, all but vanished in a matter of seconds. He felt cold; cold and hollow. Broken. He just sat there, staring at the screen for a few minutes longer until finally he snapped the monitor shut. Gathering his things, he slumped onto his bed, curling into a ball facing the wall. 

After a few moments alone, engulfed in the silence, Callum moved to turn on the radio which sat on his desk, the speakers coming alive with the tunes from the local radio station. He paused as he found himself listening to that same Carpenters’ song which played back at Tiana’s when he’d been dining there earlier. Laying on his back, he closed his eyes and listened to the words, feeling his bruised and broken heart cracking more and more with each lyric, as warm tears welled and slid down the curve of his cheeks. 

I wish you Merry Christmas Happy New Year too I've just one wish on this Christmas eve I wish I were with you I wish I were with you

[timehealsfanfictionbka]

Time Heals.....Chapter Nineteen

“Robyn!”

Robyn rolled her eyes as she grabbed the pan out of the oven. Setting it on top of the stove, she removed her oven mitts and went into her living room. Chris was propped up on her couch with Erin and Erica sitting on either side of him.

“Which one of you opened the door?” Robyn asked.

“We didn’t open it, Mommy. Daddy had his key,” Erica said.

Chris raised up his hand and dangled a keychain with two keys in the air, “you forgot?”

“I gave you those for emergencies.”

“You were taking too long to answer the door, what if you were injured?”

“You get on my nerves, I swear.”

Chris smiled brightly, “what you been up to?”

“Work. Why are you here?”

“I wanted to see my girls. I got some good news that I wanted to celebrate.”

“Really? What’s up?”

“I got a promotion.”

“Already?”

“Yup. One of the purchasing managers is retiring and they needed someone who was already familiar to take over her position and they recommended me.”

“Wow! That is awesome.”

“Yay Daddy!” Erin and Erica exclaimed as they hugged Chris.

“So I was wondering if I could take y’all out for dinner.”

“Please? Can we go, Mommy?”

Robyn sighed, “I wish you would’ve called first. I just finished cooking.”

“Oh we can eat th-”

“Nah, it’s fine. It can be put up until tomorrow. Girls, go get dressed so you can go to dinner with your Dad.”

Erin and Erica kissed Chris then ran from the room. Chris patted the seat next to him and Robyn sat down, “you look upset. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just tired. How long y’all gonna be out?”

“Y’all? You’re going with us.”

“Uh no, I’m not.”

“I said girls.”

“I am not a girl.”

Chris scoffed, “I didn’t know men could have children.”

Robyn glared at him, “you know what I meant, Chris. Besides this is about you.”

“And you’re my best friend so you are coming to celebrate with us.”

“Chris.”

“Don’t Chris me. I’m not taking no for an answer and I will carry your ass out of this house if you play games with me.”

Robyn rolled her eyes, “you really do make me sick.”

Chris chuckled, “are you gonna get dressed?”

“I’m wearing this.”

Chris rolled his eyes, “you are so stubborn.”

“You know better than to think you can order me around and I’ll listen. Boy please,” Robyn rolled her eyes as she adjusted her shirt, “where we going?”

“Antoine’s”

“That’s so expensive though.”

“So? I wanna treat y’all.”

“Whatever. It’s your money.”

“Exactly.”

A few moments before the twins came downstairs. They ran over to Chris as he stood up and held out his hands.

“Come on Mommy,” Erin said.

Robyn grabbed her phone and walked over to the three of them, “You got lucky this time, Christopher.”

Chris smiled brightly, his dimples in his cheeks, “you love me.”

Robyn lightly brushed by him, nudging his shoulder, “let’s get this over with then.”

“Daddy, is Mommy ok?” Erica asked.

“Yes, she just likes being difficult, that’s all.”

“That’s what she says about you,” Erin interjected.

Chris laughed and guided the girls out the front door to his car. Robyn sighed as she unlocked her front door. Erin, Erica, and Chris trailed behind her, animatedly chatting about something. Her brow raised as she suddenly felt like everybody was staring at her. Chris had a smirk on his face as Erin and Erica smiled hard at her.

“What is it now?”

“Mommy, can we have a sleepover with Daddy?” Erin asked.

“Sure. You can go back to his house.”

“No, we want him to sleep over here.”

“Here where?”

“Our house, Mommy. He never gets to stay over.”

“Please Mommy, it’s Saturday so we don’t have school or nothing tomorrow,” Erica pleaded.

“That’s what y’all been whispering about this whole time?”

The Twins nodded as Robyn turned her attention to Chris. He raised his hands in protest, “they came up with the idea. I told them they have to ask you. This isn’t my house.”

Robyn turned back to her children. Their faces with a soft pout expression, Robyn sighed.

“Fine. You can have a sleepover here but it’ll have to be down here, I got work to do.” “Ok, Mommy. Thank you,” Erin and Erica said as they ran over to hug her. She bent down to kiss their foreheads, “go shower and get ready for bed. I’ll get the living room ready.”

They ran upstairs without a word and Robyn turned back to Chris. He leaned the wall near the front door with a smile on his face.

“You really think you got one over on me, don’t you?”

“Nope. And don’t frown, it’ll give you wrinkles.”

Robyn groaned and threw a couch pillow at him. Chris caught it easily with one hand, “you so mean, Bajan Girl. You staying down here with us?”

“No. I don’t wanna have a sleepover with you. Just move the coffee table, the couch folds out into a bed. I’ve had enough of you for the day. Good night.”

“See you in the morning.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Chris’s loud laughter followed Robyn up the stairs until she made it to her bedroom and closed the door. Chris tossed and turned as he became restless. Carefully extracting himself from the sleeping twins, he climbed out of the bed. The girls had fallen asleep about an hour into their sleepover but sleep was evading him heavily. He listened closely and heard voices upstairs. Robyn never slept with the TV on so she was probably awake. Adjusting his pajamas, he quietly walked up the stairs to the second floor of the house. Seeing light underneath the first door he came to, he knocked softly. He waited a few moments before the door was swung open.

“Ye- Chris! What are you doing up here?” Robyn said as she crossed her arms over the front of her body. 

Chris raised his brow, “Can’t sleep.” 

He leisurely took in her legs uncovered by the shorts she was wearing. She had on a matching tank top and if he remembered correctly, she never wore a bra which is probably why she covered herself so fast.

“Ok, you can’t sleep. That doesn’t explain why you’re knocking on my door.”

“What you doing?” Chris asked as he tried to peek over her shoulder into her room. Robyn moved to lean against the doorway and block his view, “why you wanna know?”

“I’m bored.”

“That’s not my problem. Go downstairs.”

“Nah.”

Chris pushed open her door more and walked inside. Shock caused Robyn to freeze for a moment.

“Uh excuse me, Mr. Brown. I did not invite you into my bedroom,” Robyn said as she gained her composure and grabbed her robe off the back of her bedroom door.

“Stop acting all funny. Keep me company.”

“I don’t want to besides how you know I wasn’t about to go sleep.”

“You never sleep with the TV on.”

“How you know? You haven’t been in a bedroom with me in 8 years.”

“You haven’t changed that much, Ms. Fenty.”

Chris started to wander around her room, “no pictures of your husband?”

“This wasn’t our marital room. I turned that into a storage room the year after he died. I moved into this room because it was closer to the Twins bedroom.”

“Smart.”

“Chris, seriously. What do you want?”

“Company. I can’t sleep and you’re awake.”

“That doesn’t mean you just invite yourself into my bedroom.”

“Stop acting all prudish. We used to sleep in the same room all the time.”

“That was then. This is now.”

“Best friend.”

Robyn watched as he walked around her room, lightly touching all her pictures and furniture. Something was up.

“Chris, sit down,” Robyn said softly as she pointed at an armchair located across from her bed. She wrapped her robe tighter around her then sat down on her bed with her legs folded beneath her. Chris sat down and leaned down on his hands, “what’s up?”

“You tell me. You acting weird.” “What you mean?”

“All the times you’ve been over here, never have they ever mentioned wanting you to sleep over. What’s going on?”

“Noth-“

“Chris,” Robyn interrupted.

Chris sighed, “I didn’t want to go home. Didn’t feel like being alone.”

“You could’ve taken them for the weekend.”

“Not the same.”

Robyn paused to think for a minute, “You talk to Tiana?”

“Not since last week.”

“Oh.”

“I really don’t want to talk about her.”

“So what do you want to do?”

Chris shrugged, “don’t know. Just don’t want to be by myself.”

“This happen often?”

“What? Not being able to sleep?”

Robyn nodded.

“More often than I would like but hey, not much I can do.”

“You sure? You tell your therapist?”

“She gave me some insomnia pills. I don’t like how they make me feel.”

“VA, you gotta sleep.”

“I do sleep just not a lot.”

“Amounts to the same thing.”

“I guess.”

“So what is being up here supposed to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Come here,” Robyn patted the spot next to her on the bed. Chris moved to sit next to her and leaned his head on her shoulder. Robyn wrapped her arm around him, “we are not gonna make this a habit.”

“What?”

“This being sad shit and me having to be all comforting. I don’t like it.”

Chris laughed, “you really hate being nice, don’t you?”

“No but you know what I mean.”

“I got you.”

Chris kissed her cheek, “I love you.”

“I know.”                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Robyn yawned and opened her eyes to look directly into Chris’s face. She shrieked as she pushed herself back. Chris caught her hand before she could go over the edge of the bed, “what’s wrong?”

“Why are you in my bed?”

“We were talking and fell asleep. You don’t remember?”

Robyn stopped to think and the night came back to her in pieces. She looked down at herself and realized she was still fully dressed and wrapped in her robe. Chris sat up and Robyn raised her brow at him being shirtless, “umm Chris…”

“What?”

Robyn pointed at his chest and he looked down then chuckled, “I got hot and took it off. Nothing happened. Relax.”

“You gotta get out of here.”

“Why are you freaking out?”

“Because you not supposed to be up here. I do not want the girls to come up here and get the wrong idea.”

“Idea like what? I’m married.”

“Ex-fucking-actly. Chris, get out.”

Chris chuckled, “want me to start breakfast?”

“Don’t care. Just get out of my room.”

Chris pulled his shirt over his head, “See you downstairs, Bajan Girl. Good morning by the way.”

Robyn groaned and fell back against her bed with her hands over her face.

[pedrobrvs]

Wreck-it Ralph 2 Analysis

  With almost all the Disney princesses (that belong in the "Disney Princess" line) appearing in Disney's newest movie, many people went crazy, many more went "oh. that's neat i guess", but it caused some discussion. The changes done to all the characters to fit with the Wreck-it Ralph universe were disappointing to those who were looking forward to see a more faithful recreation (like me), and some people even brought up the argument of "Same face syndrome" again. 

 Since I absolutely adore Disney animation (It being the job of my dreams and all), I'm making this post in hopes of shining light on the resemblances and differences and arguing that maybe these adaptions are more respectful to the originals than people give them credit for. 

For that I'm comparing most of them with the originals, for obvious reasons, and when applicable I'll also compare with the gaming franchise Kingdom Hearts, since rather than adapting the models to fit an uniform style, Square-Enix decided to recreate them as closely as they could. Head under the cut to see all of them!

SNOW WHITE (1937)

 Before I explain the similarities, I want to point out something about the first 3 princesses. Snow White, Cinderella and to a lesser extent Aurora were all animated with heavy help of a method called rotoscoping (where you draw on top of live-action footage) and consequentially have more realistic proportions than almost every other princess.  Sleeping Beauty would be one of the first movies where they'd start experimenting more their human characters, but it is still restrained. 

 Anyway. Snow White has chubby cheeks, very round eyes with softer corners and 3 larger eyelashes that are very characteristic of her.  Her lower lip is large and round, and her eyebrows are simple curves. She has a button nose. She is animated as a comedic, exaggerated version of her original self, mainly symbolized by the way she holds her hands (pictured) and the little head shakes she does when singing.

CINDERELLA (1950) 

Personally out of the 3 original princesses I find Cinderella to be the most different from the cartoon. Not just because, well, she has ears now but because I don't seem to get any cues of her original version from the animation. Then again the original Cinderella is animated with gentle, delicate slower movements movements while this one is making a shiv out of her shoe. However, she does keep some of the original design in the model itself. Her eyes are a bit round, with the upper eyelid being rounder than the lower, but the corners of her eyes are evident without causing the eye to look almond-shaped. I'd pull her outer corner a little bit more outwards or at least add an eyeliner but nobody is perfect. Her nose is slightly pointy but mostly round. I'm hoping that when we get to see more of her she'll demonstrate more of her slower, graceful nature. I don't mind that all those characters are more energetic and cartoony in this movie, but in Cinderella's case it seems to go against her very personality.

AURORA - SLEEPING BEAUTY (1959)

Aurora has a very diamond-shaped jaw, and while she appears to have a rounder one in this movie screencap, she demonstrates this diamond-shaped jaw whenever she's not facing straight forward.  Her lower eyelid has a very prominent "corner" to it like the original, making it kinda look like she has two outer eye corners. Her nose is pointy and thin. Her inner eyebrows could go lower and be closer together but the general thickness is very close. Her mouth isn't as wide as the others and her smile is V-shaped.  My gripe with her design is her hair, because IT SHOULD CURL THE OTHER WAY.  Her body language captures a lot of the gracious, romantic behavior she exhibits while awake in the movie. It differs from Cinderella's posture because Cinderella behaves more in a motherly, warm and kind fashion while Aurora behaves more "professionally" and in a more reserved way. 

ARIEL - THE LITTLE MERMAID (1989) 

 Ariel is one of the closest to the original IMO, but she has subtle differences. Her eyes keep the same general curves, with the upper eyelids being more curved and bending more towards the inner face. However, in the new version they are less vertical. Her nose is small, pointy and turned a little bit upwards, her lips are thin and don't have a cupid's bow. She has big cheeks but they are not as round as Snow White's, and her forehead is more forward, giving her the curve seen in the 2D version. For her the biggest difference is the eyelashes, that are way less uniform and are way thinner in the 2D version.  She still keeps the bright-eyed, curious expression, being very similar to Rapunzel in behavior.

In a side topic, I'm extremely glad to see her hair being done properly in 3D, by comparison with Kingdom Hearts 3. Her hair is a huge part of her animation and what made it impressive (as important to her body language as Rapunzel's hair is. Strange how much the two of them have in common) I was disappointed that in Kingdom Hearts 3 she kept the stiff hair she had in the first games even with the advance in technology. Her eyes are also closer in shape to the original than the Kingdom Hearts edition even if that one got the general face proportions right.  KH is closer in proportion while Wreck-it Ralph is closer in specific shapes. 

BELLE - BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (1991)

Belle is also one who I didn't see a lot of her original personality, though she was very gentle and gracious in the original as well, which contrasts with her more cartoony animation here.

She has a larger nose than most princesses and it's also one of the most round, and her lips, while they have a cupid's bow, are less defined.

Her eyes are more almond-shaped, having the outer corner being higher up than the lower. Her eyebrows are pretty close in shape, thickness and distance to the original (considering the change of art style).

One thing that could be done was to make her laugh lines more prominent in the 3D model, since they tend to appear when she's grinning in the original. Going back to Kingdom Hearts, i must say that Belle's appearance there is not very accurate. I think that something is off with her face in Kingdom Hearts 2, like her face looks squashed, longer and different from the original.

JASMINE - ALADDIN (1992) 

Jasmine for me is one of the most accurate to the originals, with her almond shaped eyes, characteristic nose, sculpted lips and more oval shaped face. Her eyebrows also look slightly more accurate to the original than the KH counterpart, with the inner edge not being round (though they should be thicker). She shares a lot of the posture of the original, specially with the tendency of stopping with one leg in front of the other and bending her torso in a way that kinda highlights her butt (but you do you Jasmine) 

POCAHONTAS (1995)

So, Pocahontas is one of the most unique-looking movies in the Disney canon, having the most realistic body proportions of Disney canon in decades.

Her movie is also characterized by having stronger edges and a more angular shape. That entire proportional yet angular look is mostly out of the window, but her face still has the most geometric features of them all. 

A strong chin, a big triangular upper lip, a nose with up-turned nostrils that has a kind of v-shaped outline... Also even with the change of art style she has a slightly stronger build than the rest of the princesses. 

In terms of animation she has that classic impossible hair, and keeps the dignified and mysterious attitude she has most of the time when she's not trying to see what's just around the riverbend. 

MULAN (1998)

She is definitely really close to the original, though the proportions got shifted around for the art style. 

Her round face, almond shaped eyes with a single eyelash going outwards in the corrner, and her very caracteristic lips are there (her lips are one thing they did more accurately than Kingdom Hearts as well). Though I think her nose should be slightly flatter to be closer to the Original and the Kingdom Hearts rendition. 

 I haven't seen enough of her facial animation to form an opinion on expressions, but she does enter the scene with that jump kick she does in the end of "Be a Man" so there's that.

TIANA - THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG (2009)

Same case with Mulan, the biggest differences are just to accommodate for the art style. Her characteristic smile looks pretty great in 3D, dimples and all (though I think Coco did a better looking dimple for Miguel, those look a bit fake) 

Since the movies are so close together, being technically released in the same "Disney era" with way more artist overlap than previously (as in, more people who worked in the two movies), the animators already have a lot of practice animating her so I expect that she'll be pretty accurate.

RAPUNZEL - TANGLED (2010)

Speaking of accuracy, we're finally on the realm of 3D disney princesses. I like this comparison that @constable-frozen made (I apologize for not asking first/Lo siento no haber pedido antes/Desculpa por não ter perguntado primeiro). It shows that even the 3D princess got changed to fit the movie so it's not the 3D that is to blame for this change and that it was very much intentional rather than just lack of skill from the artists. But back to the comparison, I find it amazing how apparent the improvement in technology is, with Rapunzel having more natural skin and more strands in her hair (as well as the hair also looking more natural). Like i mentioned before, Rapunzel's hair was ground-breaking for Disney, since they spent years perfecting the technology for it. 8 years later and it looks greater than ever.  The whole lighting in the scene looks more natural as well, taking away the slight "PS3 game cutscene" feel the original gives me. Speaking of her hair, Kingdom Hearts 3 still didn't give us a look at her face, but the developers keep telling us of how much work they put into making her hair and turning it into a gameplay element as well. Seems fitting that a story about a girl with long hair would cause innovation in hair simulation for both animation and games.

MERIDA - BRAVE (2012)

Ok so this will definitely take some using to. In this pic specially she looks a bit like a baby. Though from other pics I think they at least nailed the facial expressions. Still, seeing her with those big bright eyes makes her almost look like Jessie from Toy Story, both having red hair and a very round face.

MOANA (2016)

To finish, here's Moana, from their last movie, to exemplify again that the change in art style is pretty much intentional. Larger eyes and eyebrows, smaller nose and mouth. Thin neck. Pretty much what happened to everyone else. Wreck-it Ralph stylized them to make them fit with each other and with the place they appear in. Otherwise they keep the basic shapes and ideas of the originals, only following the general style of the current artists. I hoped they'd keep the proportions and styles as close to the original as possible, but I won't pretend they didn't put any effort. All characters presented in those images belong to Walt Disney Animation Studio and Pixar Animation Studio.

PS: ANNA AND ELSA - FROZEN (2013)

I couldn’t get decent enough pictures for the both of them for me to make a comparison while I was writing. Might edit the post with the pic tomorrow.

In the original, their eyes are larger than most princesses and their noses are pointier. The two of them look really alike because they're sisters but there's differences:

Anna has chubbier cheeks and curved eyebrows while Elsa's eyes have a drooping lower eyelid common in smug/sexy characters, as well as L-shaped eyebrows.

The changes from the movie to the Wreck-it Ralph 2 version are essentially the same as Moana's (larger upper face, smaller lower face), plus an extra difference of them having bigger, more voluminous hairdos than what they had. 

PS: PS: On the off chance Tumblr messes up the images, I posted this entire thing on Imgur

[taesthetes]

tag games.

alright, let’s do this-- i just realized i had like five tag games in my likes, but they’re pretty similar so i’ll do two of them :D

game number one.

tagged by this sunshine @rosaetae​ ♡

appearance:

hmm alright so i’m 5 foot 7 or 170 cm, and i weigh 125 lbs, which is 57 kg i think? my hair almost reaches my butt, but i definitely need to get it trimmed. i had red dip dye earlier, but the color faded, so it’s like an ombre now. i’m vietnamese, and i’m on the paler side in my family. i think my lips are pretty full, and my eyes are large? or at least that’s what my relatives all tell me. and i have a dimple on my left cheek! and i sometimes have those tiny hobi dimples. um i’ll be posting a selfie tag right after this, so you’ll actually see my face then lmao

personality:

i’m an introverted extrovert! meaning, i am very social, i enjoy meeting new people and making friends in all my classes, but at the same time, i don’t divulge a lot of information about myself LOL i go to parties and stuff usually once a week, and i socialize a lot there, but in my mind, i’m just thinking about going back to my bed and binging criminal minds or the great british baking show. one of my friends actually told me that before she even got to judge me the first time she saw me, i already introduced myself and started talking to her akdhfsa so i’m very outgoing, loud, and sarcastic, and i’d like to think of myself as hilarious too. i try to be nice to everyone and am usually very chill, but if someone is super rude, then oh boy, i will go off on them

ability:

art!!! i love art with all my heart, and i’d like to say that i’m decent at it since i’m pursuing a minor in studio arts. i’d like to think i have athletic ability as well since i played three different sports and did cheerleading and four types of dances when i was younger. oh, and i’ve played the piano for sixteen years and the drums! also the recorder because that was mandatory in middle/junior high school lmao and i’m also very good at mental math. as for linguistics, i can communicate in english, spanish, and vietnamese.

hobbies:

studio arts is a big one, so drawing, painting, stamp carving, stenciling, etc. i also really love cooking and baking, but i don’t like eating the sweets. i just give whatever i bake to my friends and family lol and i gym five times a week, so does that count as a hobby? i also love sleeping, reading books, and binging crime shows

relationships:

not interested. my friends and i downloaded tinder for fun, and we just like to comment on the profiles. the total of people i have swiped right for in the whole year i’ve had my tinder is a whopping total of 11 (and 3 of those were dogs), and i always unmatch after the third message. i just ask my matches what food places they’d rec and that’s it. unmatch straight afterwards asdkfjasdh

random stuff:

kim taeyeon is the center of my universe, kim jisoo is the ultimate goddess, kim taehyung owns my heart, and nct dream can run me over with those bikes in go and i’d thank them and give them all my money in my bank account.

game number two.

tagged by this cutie patootie @minigguk​ ♡

1. Which BTS song means the most to you?

no more dream because it’s the first mv i ever saw of them when i got into kpop four years ago, and i really contemplated using suga’s “i wanna big house, big car, and big rings, but i don’t have any big dreams” as my senior yearbook quote.

2. How do you feel about astrology?

well, personally, i think it’s a bunch of hooey because all the descriptions and whatnot that are for each sign is written to be broad enough that it feels personal if that makes sense? like i can read the stuff for another sign that isn’t mine and can still feel that it applies to me. but do i still read my horoscopes and look for my sign in astrology posts? heck yeah i do

3. Do you think ghosts exist?

maybe? i need real life experience as proof to actually believe, not those grainy videos with what looks like dust particles floating around

4. What’s your favorite instrument?

the piano! i have a love-hate relationship with it though because i love listening to piano music, but i hate playing it myself

5. Who was the last person to make you really smile?

my mom :’) i was showing her snapchat filters and she got so excited, and she wanted me to take lots of her pics with them and text them all to her

6. What do you do when you feel vulnerable?

idk probably sleep? can’t be vulnerable when you’re unconscious. actually wait, you are physically vulnerable if some serial killer is after you and you’re sleeping, but feelings wise, sleep makes that vulnerability go away

7. What is the last dream you had?

LOL omg okay so i told this dream to an and mel, but like i was doing some survival competition and i had to climb trees and check under rocks and all this stuff in the jungle to find these clues, which were hand written on binder paper and sealed in plastic bags. i already had one clue, and i knew the other people competing had zero, so heck yeah, i’m on top!!! but anyway, i stumble onto the remains of a plane crash site and i’m sifting through everything and i find some good stuff, like a compass, but then, i get to this locked cabinet thing and i can’t get it to open and taeyong comes out of nowhere??? and first in my mind, i’m kinda like is he here to steal my clues /: but he actually helps me open the cabinet and looks through stuff, and then i find the clue in one of the bags, and i’m like oh do you want to see it too? and taeyong is just like it’s up to you if you want to share! it’s your clue! :D and he just leaves??? like wow WHAT A NICE MAN but also i better gather some weapons in case he tries to ambush me later 

also the weapons are definitely needed because after seeing taeyong, i’m thinking i’m probably competing against everyone in nct and i trust none of them, except maybe taeyong, mark, and jeno. also taeyong’s face was like six inches away from mine at one point, and wow how does someone look that good even in the middle of a dirty jungle? i’m jealous

8. Are you a nature person?

maybe? i absolutely adore flowers, and i like hiking in the mornings with my parents during the summer

9. What’s your favorite thing to do to relieve stress?

sleep LOL. eat ice cream and binge my favorite tv shows

10. Do you have any other blogs you’d like people to check out?

yes check out everyone i tag in this thing!!

11. Marvel, DC, or neither?

marvel!

12. What do you want out of 2018?

a good gpa, my driver’s license, good health

13. Do you hold grudges?

i don’t have the time nor energy to care that long about someone who upset me

14. Who is your favorite Disney hero/heroine?

mulan!!! i also really like peter pan and tiana. as a child, i adored cinderella

15. Do you consider yourself a positive person?

hmm, i’d say i’m positive to a certain extent? i don’t want to give false hope though, so i usually tell things as it is as nicely as possible. so i’m a balance of realistic and positive.

16. What is something you love that’s underrated?

um idk what’s considered underrated, does nct count

17. What is your dream job?

gordon ramsey’s job :D

18. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

right now, i really wanna be the protagonist in that stereotypical rom com movie and live to nyc but i don’t want the dude / love interest that comes with it

19. When was the last time you faced a fear and how did it go?

two weeks ago, i faced my final for my financial accounting class which was taught by a masters professor, who explicitly told us that he taught this undergrad class the exact same way as his masters class for financial accounting because he only teaches one undergrad class a year. the final was 30 pages long of one continuous problem. it was full of calculations and writing up journal entries, and i managed to get an A- in that class.

20. Which would you prefer to read: poetry, fiction, or non-fiction?

currently? poetry!

21. Where do you feel most at ease?

when i’m at home

i tag these lovely people for one or both of these tag games: @kidguk ; @jimlingss ; @kthartics ; @minigguk ; @rosaetae ; @kingdomtae ; @milknotes ; @vantae ; @cheelchan ; @1rapmon ♡

[brookeap3]

Post-its and Paperclips 4th of July

A/N: Also a tad late, but I hope it's worth it. This is a feelsy, flirty, fluff fest all around. Done for Prompt #11 Regina mothering Roland (it’d be awesome if Robin witnessed at least a part of the scene) of @oqpromptparty Enjoy :)

{ ffn } { ao3 }

The day is blistering hot, sun baking down on them, heat radiating from their pores, sweat pooling down their backs. But it doesn’t matter much. It’s a holiday. 4th of July. A day of independence and patriotism. Sunshine and beer. Friends and laughter. And that’s exactly what she has been blessed with this year.

John is hosting a backyard barbeque. Apparently, it’s been a tradition among Robin and his friends since they were in college. Robin tells her about the summers they’d gone to his friend’s family’s cabin for the holiday while they’re cuddled in bed one morning discussing possible plans. Days spent on the lake and shooting arrows in the woods. Until John had lost his parents and they’d had to sell the cabin. It’d been a hard time for all of them, but they’d gotten each other through it.

Despite that, they’ve managed to keep the tradition alive all these years, and Regina is thrilled to be included in the fun. She’s never really had this in her life. Not before she met Robin, before he’d welcomed her into his life with open arms.

Independence Day had always been a very proper affair for her growing up, sophisticated soirees at the club, surrounded by a hundred of her mother’s “closest friends”. Cold and detached. There’d been no laughter or joy as there should be on this holiday, an unfortunate fact that had continued into Regina’s adult life even after she’d gotten out from under her mother’s thumb. But all of that is changing now.

This year she’d gotten to sleep in, to take advantage of the rare occasion where Gold allows them a day away from the office in the name of history and celebration. Though, she wouldn’t be surprised to find at least a dozen emails from him if she or Robin were to check their email. Regina’s not going to think about work at all today, though. She woke to sunlight streaming in through the curtains and a post-it on the bedside lamp.

Took Roland to John’s to help set up. See you there, love. Don’t forget your bikini ;)

It had made her chuckle as Regina snuggled down into her pillow for another minute and grinned stupidly at the tiny little square of paper. The way her heart had  fluttered over a silly note, all of the silly notes Robin leaves her, had made her feel like a foolish school girl, but she wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s simply become what they do and it’s cute and adorable, just like the man she loves.

She’d gotten dressed quickly, settling on a pair of crisp white shorts and a red v-neck shirt, had slipped on her navy and white striped bikini beneath, just as Robin’d requested, and had smirked as she tied the knot around her neck. She may or may not get into the pool, but she can certainly torment him with the knowledge she’s wearing very little beneath her clothes.

Then she’d been off, heading down the block to where John’s house resides, and Regina can hear the dull hum of people chatting and laughing already as she slips through the side gate and rounds the house to the backyard.

Rather impressed, Regina takes in the way that they’ve transformed the usually lackluster view. There are red, white, and blue streamers strung all around, wrapped around the trees, through the railing of the deck. Tiny American flags line the edge of the backyard along the fence and they’ve set up a long, patriotic clad table as a sort of buffet for food and drink along one edge. The pool is bright and clear, a few of John’s friends splashing around with beers in their hands as they laugh and float in the water, along with the smattering of kids joining them in play.

She spots the man himself, standing around the currently empty fire pit, chatting with a woman Regina assumes is the one she’s heard he’s been seeing, but hasn’t yet met and smirks as her gaze wanders around, looking for her significant other and his little boy.

It’s no more than a minute later that a tiny ball of wild energy and bouncing brown curls dashes out of the screen door with a whoop, clad in only his Lightning McQueen swim trunks and his inflatable swimmies.

“Roland! No running by the pool!” Robin’s voice calls out in warning, causing the little boy to skid to a stop and turn around sheepishly, muttering a, Sorry, Daddy! before turning on his heel and quickly striding to the edge of the pool where he jumps straight in, kicking at the water until he reaches a boy with chestnut colored hair who looks to be about a year or two older than Roland.

Their little fish, Regina thinks to herself, grinning as she watches him flap about. They don’t have too much to be worried about, with his inflatable arm bands ensuring he can splash around to his heart’s content, but Robin still stands there and watches him with a cautious parental eye.

His attention shifts to her when he catches her moving toward him and a deep, dimpled grin breaks out over his face, the one that never fails to make Regina’s heart trip over in her chest. “Hello, milady.” Robin greets her, reaching out a hand to grip her hip and leaning down for a quick smooch.

“Hi,” she responds in kind, hooking an arm around the back of his waist. “Quite the shindig you’ve got going here. Is it always like this?”

Robin’s eyes scan around the crowded yard, notes Will in the corner of the deck, fiddling with the music coming from the speaker on the railing, Ana rearranging the ice in the cooler that houses their soda and beers for the day, while Tuck and his neighbor toss a rice filled sack back and forth on the corn hole boards. There are neighbors and friends scattered all around, and the grin on Robin’s face becomes even wider as he tells her, “Yeah. We like to go all out.”

“I can see that,” Regina responds in amusement.

Robin squeezes her to his body, thrilled that he gets to share this with her this year. Another holiday they get to spend together, as a couple, building a life together. They’re racking them up and he’s never been happier. “Come on,” he says, jerking his head in the direction of their host, “I’ll introduce you to John’s new girlfriend. He’s positively smitten.”

Following Robin across the swishing grass, hands joined together, Regina can’t help but chuckle quietly as she gets a better look at Robin’s best friend and the gorgeous woman with her arm threaded through his. She’s tall and slender, has lovely dark chocolate skin and pretty features that remind her a bit of a wood nymph.

“Regina! You made it!” John calls happily, goofy grin on his face as he waves his free hand widely in a gesture of greeting. He’s got a beer in his hand and she pauses briefly, wonders how many he’s had already, but says nothing as she laughs and steps in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

She and John have become friends of a sort over the last few months, her affection for the hulk of a man exceeding beyond his involvement in Robin and Roland’s life. They banter with one another and never pass up an opportunity to tease and embarrass the other if the occasion arises, but it’s all in good fun. Frankly, she kind of considers him to be a bit of an older brother. Yet another thing she’s never had in her life that she’s now been blessed with.

“I’d like you to meet Tiana,” he tells her proudly, face split into a huge smile as he beams down at the woman beside him. Next to John, she looks positively petite and adorable. A total contrast in her pretty blue sundress with bright red posies splashed across the material to John’s own plain white t-shirt, frayed along the edges, and dark jeans, but they look cute together.

Smiling, Regina offers her a hand, “Nice to meet you, I’m Regina.”

“Robin’s girlfriend,” Tiana supplies automatically, taking Regina’s offered hand and shaking it. “I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise,” Regina replies. Her eyes dart back and forth between the two of them and she asks, “Tell me how you two met again?”

“She makes the best damn beignets in the entire world.” John’s answer is immediate and Regina has to fight a snicker, sharing an amused look with Robin from the corner of her eye.

Luckily, Tiana expands upon that to explain, “I own a bakery not far from here. Specializes in cajun desserts. My mama and I used to live in New Orleans when I was younger, before we moved to Boston for her job. I haven’t been able to get the taste for southern cooking out of my system.”

Her stomach grumbles at the mere mention of it, and Regina suddenly becomes very aware of the fact she’s yet to eat anything today. Something she’ll have to rectify soon but keeps her attention on Tiana as she continues her story.

“This one,” she tips her face up to grin at John, “Used to come in every other day and sample half the menu. Plus a beignet. Sometimes two or three.” There’s a wealth of affection in the tone, and Regina’s taken at once with the enraptured expression on both their faces. He’s looking at her as if she were sunshine itself and it’s not something she’s seen before. Honestly, it’s rather adorable. “It took him over two months to finally ask me out.” Tiana finishes, glancing back to Regina and Robin.

Her response is quick and teasing as she comments, “Only that long? Must be true love,” and grins playfully at John.

He harrumphs, narrowing his eyes at her. “But she said yes at that point,” John jokes, his belly shaking as he grins down at his girlfriend and captures her mouth in a kiss, making her giggle.

“Alright, alright, I can’t take much more of this sickeningly sweet exchange.” Robin interjects, shaking his head, obviously teasing.

Smirking, John responds, “Takes one to know one, mate. Now you know what you looked like trailing after Regina with stars in your eyes for months after Christmas.”

His gaze shifts from the pair in front of him to the love of his life, catching the slight blush that rises up the back of her neck. Robin’s hand reaches for her own again and uses it to tug her body flush against his, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Yes, well, I’m clearly the luckiest man on the planet.” Bending his neck forward, Robin pecks a kiss to Regina’s mouth, enjoying the fruity flavor of her chap stick against his lips. Then he’s turning his attention back to John and Tiana and informing them, “Now if you’ll excuse us, I think it’s time we find ourselves some of those burgers and crisps.”

Then he’s dragging her toward the tantalizing scents of corn on the cob and patties frying from the grill, carefully manned by Tuck now that they’ve finished their game, and Regina’s mouth waters in gratitude.  

He stops a few yards away at the end of the long row of tables piled with food. “May I offer you some refreshments, milady?” Robin asks her with a flourish, popping open the cooler and waving his hand at the various bottles and cans nestled in among the pounds of ice. They’ve got pop and water, some lemonade for the kiddos and adults not partaking in alcoholic indulgences, and enough beer to last them through the next several hours.

Leaning in closer so he can whisper into her ear, enjoying the slight shiver that racks her body, Robin adds, “I heard talk of firing up the blender for margaritas as well, if you’d prefer.” Robin has a pretty good idea of what she’ll choose and isn’t disappointed when he sees Regina’s eyes light up as she requests, A margarita. Definitely.

Chuckling, Robin tells her he’ll be back in a moment, wanders inside and spies Ana at the kitchen counter measuring and blending ingredients. It isn’t long before he’s back out in the baking sun, offering Regina a festive, blue plastic glass they’d picked up at the party store for today.

“My savior,” Regina jokes, winking at him in that squinty way of hers that makes him want to kiss her because it’s so damn adorable. Always.

So he does just that. Angles his mouth over hers after she takes a sip and hums her delight with the drink. He can taste the salt on her lips, licks a few crystals off with the tip of his tongue, mixing with the sweetness of the alcohol and Regina. Robin’s hand slides smoothly up the back of her spine to the nape of her neck and he tugs lightly at the bikini tie peeking out over the collar of her shirt. “I see you took my suggestion.”

Regina smirks, that teasing look in her eye that Robin’s become accustomed to. “It seemed wise.” Her voice drops into a low, arousing timbre as she adds, “If for no other reason than to tease you all day.”

Images of her clad in the bikini she’d worn a few weeks ago when they’d come over for a lazy Sunday afternoon with Roland filter through Robin’s mind. Her wet and glistening from the pool, drying off with the sun reflecting off every inch of her perfect body. He’s been unable to get the vision from his mind since and he grins naughtily at her. “Now that’s just unfair. Torturing a man that way,” Robin groans.

Regina takes another long sip of her drink, tipping her head back slightly to do so and distracting him while he watches the muscles in her throat quiver as the cool liquid slides down it. As she licks her lips and takes a step closer to him, resting her hand just above his heart and scratching her nails over his cotton shirt, Robin struggles to focus on anything other than the way he wants her. Now is not the time.

It proves to be a difficult task as she replies tauntingly, “But it’s so much fun to torture you.”  

Robin shakes his head, hooks one of his fingers through the belt loop of her shorts and tugs her body the few scant inches between them until their torsos are touching. His mouth presses against her ear, muttering, “Minx,” into it before he sinks his teeth into the lobe and trails the tip of his tongue around the shell.

It’s not entirely appropriate for a backyard barbeque, but, well, he’s a weak man where Regina Mills is concerned and his willpower is lacking. But he’s so happy. It’s actually really rather ridiculous. That one could feel this content in his life. He has his son and loyal friends, the most incredible woman at his side, and Robin can’t think of a better way to celebrate the birth of the country he’s come to call his own than exactly what they’re doing.

Regina giggles, tilting her head back with a pointed look and a muttered, “Behave,” but she doesn’t shift away from him. Instead, she takes a large gulp from her glass, drinking up the rest of her margarita, catching up a bit with everyone else that had started before her. “And this is excellent,” she adds, lifting her now nearly empty glass in a salute.

“I’ll tell Ana you said so,” Robin grins. “Will’s been teaching her to bartend.”

“Well he’s doing a damn fine job of it. She might just give Ella a run for her money, and that’s saying something.”

Robin chuckles, “How about I go get you another one of those margaritas, it might warm you up to the idea of a dip in the water,” he adds, wiggling his eyebrows at her suggestively and making her laugh, “while you fill yourself a plate of some of this delicious smelling food?”

The corner of her mouth tips up, “I think that’s an excellent idea.” And Regina giggles silently as she watches Robin’s retreating back head into the house once again, turning toward the table clad with stars and stripes cookware and decorations, and laden with food.

“Hey, Regina,” Mulan greets her as she offers her a paper plate. “Happy Fourth!”

“You, too!” Regina replies, smiling happily as she and the brunette chat for a few minutes, catching up since the last time she’d seen her. She and Aurora have been busy moving into a new apartment and she’d just changed jobs a few weeks ago.

Then it happens.

It’s the worst sound she’s ever heard. The miserable wail of the little boy that’s stolen her heart out from under her without any conscious effort. Regina turns instantly from where she’s piling watermelon and potato chips on her plate to scan the backyard for Roland. She sees him over by the cement border surrounding the pool, clutching his knee to his chest, face scrunched up in pain as tears rain down his cheeks.

Her heart catches in her throat, stopping dead before picking up once more in a rapid staccato as she abandons the patriotic themed paper plate and dashes quickly across the yard to his side. “Roland, baby, what happened?” she questions immediately, crouching down beside him, drawing him into her lap as she sits on the burning concrete.

“I— I—waaas chasing— Michael and— I—  tri— tripped,” he just barely hiccups out, voice wobbly and thick as he buries his face into the crook of her neck. He’s all wet from the pool, dampening Regina’s shorts and shirt as she cradles him to her, Roland still holding his knee tightly to his chest, whimpering, and it breaks her heart.

“Oh, baby, it’s okay. It’s going to be alright. Why don’t you let me take a look?” When Roland only shakes his head and snuggles in closer to her side, Regina lets out a imperceptible sigh. Her hand rubs soothing passes up and down his back as she urges once more, “Come on, Roland. I promise I’ll be very gentle.” Her tone is soft and soothing, motherly.

Reluctantly, he relents, uncovers his wound to allow Regina to give it a once over. Once she has a clear view of the injury, the vice like grip around her heart loosens ever so slightly. It’s just a scratch. Not even that deep from what she can tell, but it’s bleeding pretty heavily and she’s certain it smarts for such a little boy. Tiny rivulets of blood slide down from his knee and over his shin, mixing with the chlorine droplets clinging to his skin.

Taking a deep breath, Regina smiles down at him lovingly, brushes his wet curls back from his face and assures him, “See, it’s not so bad. Just a little cut.”

“It— it hurts,” Roland whines and Regina’s heart clenches in her throat at his wobbly tone.

“I know it does, baby,” she tells him, her fingers resting gingerly just beside the wound on his knee. “How about we go and get this cleaned up, and I’ll kiss it better. Then we can get you a popsicle. Does that sound good?” Regina asks him, willing to do anything to ease his hurts.

Roland bites his lower lip, fat tears resting on his eyelashes, and looks just like Robin as he does so, but he answers softly, “Okay, R’gina.” She lets out a breath of relief and moves to stand with him still in her arms, done with a level of skill far too natural for someone that’s not technically his mother, and turns toward the house.

That’s when she spots Robin just coming out of the backdoor, stilled where he stands, her fresh margarita glass in hand, watching them with a mixture of concern and adoration in his eyes. But she doesn’t stop long enough to consider it beyond a passing thought, simply asks him as they meet, “Will you grab the first aid kit?”

He nods, cupping the back of Roland’s head for a moment and asking, “Did we take a tumble, my boy?” Roland nods from where he has his head tucked against her neck, body curled into hers. “Well, it’s lucky we have Regina here to take care of you, isn’t it?” He mumbles a tiny, mmhmm, as an answer and a small smile tips up the corners of her mouth.

Once they’re inside, Regina settles Roland onto the toilet seat in the bathroom, kneeling down so she’s at eye level with him and can tap an index finger beneath his chin. “Let’s get you all patched up, sir.” It makes Roland giggle a little and Regina smiles as she tears off a few squares of toilet paper and dabs lightly over his broken skin, cleaning away the blood that’s already started to clot and slow. “You know you’re not supposed to be running around the pool, Roland. It’s wet and slick and that’s how we fall and get hurt.” Regina scolds him softly.

Pouting, Roland sniffles and answers, “I know. I’m sorry, R’gina. Michael and I were playing tag and I wanted to catch him.”

She sighs, “That’s fine, but you could have gotten really hurt, Roland, and I don’t want that. So no more running by the pool, is that clear?”

Roland nods solemnly, his gradually drying curls bouncing against his face just as Robin clears his throat from the doorway, holding out the white first aid kit. Regina reaches for it, muttering a quiet thanks as he looks down on them. There’s something in his expression, the way he’s looking at the two of them still that makes her blood pound quicker through her veins. But she ignores it for a moment, focused on Roland as she takes an alcohol wipe and a waterproof band aid from the kit and gets to work.

When his cut is all clean and she’s blown softly on the wound to soothe the stinging and fresh bout of tears that well in Roland’s eyes from the antiseptic, Regina smears a bit of neosporin over it and covers it with the band aid, leaning down and pressing a light kiss to his knee while grinning up at him. “There. All better.”

Roland smiles, his tiny dimples little pin points in his cheeks, and exclaims, “Thanks, R’gina,” bouncing up and tossing his arms around her neck for a hug. All the pain and tears forgotten with the resiliency of a child as he asks if he can have his popsicle now.

“Why don’t you go on back outside and see if Ana will get you one?” Regina chuckles, standing and ignoring the creaky ache of her own joints after being crouched for so long. He starts to dart out of the bathroom and Regina’s voice warns sharply, “Walk, Roland.”

Then it’s just her and Robin. No longer distracted by Roland’s injury, she can fully focus her attention on him and Regina blushes slightly at the worshipful glint in his eyes. He reaches out a hand for hers, Regina placing her own in his palm, and pulls her flush against his body in a practiced move, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers. “You’re wonderful with him.” Robin exhales, his warm breath ghosting over her lips, making Regina shiver.

She jerks her shoulder in a little shrug, replying, “He makes it easy.”

Drawing back enough so that he can meet her eyes, Robin shakes his head. “No, you’re just so natural with him. He’s never really had a motherly figure in his life and was so young when Marian passed…” Robin pauses, as if gathering his thoughts before he continues. “I’m just so grateful he has you now.”

It nearly makes Regina cry, her eyes watering precariously as she tries to control the fierce tide of emotions that suddenly swamp her. She’d never really thought of herself as mother material before, not until Roland had snuck into her world and captured her heart with post-its and paperclips and insistent holiday traditions. They’ve come a long way in the last six months, have become closer than she ever thought possible and there’s no denying what she feels.

“I love him so much,” she chokes out wetly, heart squeezing inside her chest.

Robin’s fingers thread through her hair, cupping her cheek as he tells her, “He loves you. I love you,” before lowering his mouth to hers in a sweet, gentle kiss. It’s nothing passionate, just a soft press of his lips to hers. Firm and slow. But it’s everything.

“I love you, too,” Regina replies, voice thick with emotion when they pull away.

Nuzzling his nose against hers for another minute, Robin strokes his hands down her arms before saying, “We should probably get back to the party.” His voice drops, taking on that tone that always has her body quivering in anticipation. “Even if I would rather sneak off with you to one of the guest rooms upstairs.”

He wiggles his eyebrows at her suggestively and Regina laughs. “Tempting as that is, I think it might be best we go supervise your son.”

Robin chuckles in response, but bows his head in concession, gesturing for her to lead the way even as the word ours echos through his mind.

. . .

The dusky darkness of twilight settles around them. It's getting closer and closer to ten o’clock, when the city fireworks are scheduled to start going off. Luckily, John’s house is positioned perfectly to witness the show without them having to deal with the hassle of shuffling an entire party of people out of the house to the park, finding parking, and navigating their way through the crowd. This is much better and decidedly more intimate.

Regina’s curled up on Robin’s lap in one of the chairs around the fire pit, the flames crackling and giving off just enough of a heat to kiss along her skin in the chilly summer evening. Her head rests on his shoulder, fingers stroking absently up and down his forearm that rests over her thighs as his hand mirrors her movements up and down her spine.

It’s been a lovely day, perfect.

As much as Regina wishes it wasn’t coming to an end, she’s sleepy. Is ready to tuck Roland in for the night and then curl up in Robin’s bed with him and drift off to dreamland. They’re watching him play with a few of the other kids, his new best friend, Michael, among them, tossing firecrackers against the cement and shrieking when they pop and echo in the night. John and Tiana are lighting sparklers and letting the kids play with them until they fizzle out.

That hand that had been rubbing up and down her back, tangles in the edges of her hair as Robin presses a kiss to the crown of her head and asks quietly, “You gonna make it to the fireworks, love?”

He can feel the weight of her limbs atop his, relaxed and content. Just as he is. It’s been an exhausting day, between the heat and overstimulation, not to mention Roland’s little mishap earlier, but Robin isn’t quite ready for it to be over so soon.

Just a little while longer to hold onto the magic of the holiday. That’s all he wants.

Regina’s sleepy response, a mumbled, mmhmm, makes him grin, placing another light kiss to her brow and tightening his arms around her. For the next ten minutes they stay just as they are, eyes closed and breathing in time with one another as they listen to the sounds of the party winding down around them.

The fireworks will start any minute now, after which, he and Regina will gather Roland up, dragging him away from his new friends, and will spend the following half hour getting him ready for bed. Robin supervising the brushing of his teeth as Regina pulls out his pajamas, the both of them listening intently as he repeats every second of his day, even though they’d been there for all of it. Gradually getting him to settle down so he can sleep.

Despite her exhaustion, Robin knows Regina will climb into Roland’s tiny toddler bed with him and weave a tale of magic and mischief until his eyelids droop and his breathing evens out. Just as she’s done with him nearly every night for the past two months. Hardly ever misses it.

Except on the now rare occasion she ends up sleeping at her own house rather than theirs, that is.

The thought makes Robin frown slightly. Granted, over the last several months they’ve been spending less and less nights apart. More out of habit than conscious thought, really.

But now that he's thinking about it, half of his closet holds her clothes, their shirts mingled together and two of his dresser drawers serve as a home to her things. Her essentials are scattered over his bathroom. The cream she slathers on her face every night and tubes and brushes of this and that for her to get ready in the morning. The fancy water she prefers stocked next to Roland’s juice boxes in the fridge. She’s practically living there.

Robin’s eyes open, glancing down at Regina where her head is tucked against the curve of his neck and shoulder, breathing evenly. Snippets of their day flutter through his memory, the sense of absolute rightness he'd felt as he'd watched Regina kiss away Roland's hurts, the ease with which she'd mingled with his friends, knowing they'd end up just as they are now. How his heart had swelled with love as he'd kissed her brow and left her sleeping soundly in his bed this morning.

It hits him suddenly, a culmination of all the little moments that have become second nature in the last six months, that that's exactly what he wants for their future. Waking up together, their possessions finding homes beside one another, Roland knowing the woman he worships will be there to pick him up whenever he falls.

Robin’s head over heels in love with her, and there's absolutely no reason that they shouldn't go for it. Shouldn't make that leap.

“Regina,” he murmurs, nudging her slightly and brushing a few errant strands of hair from her face as she stirs and looks up at him from beneath her lashes.

“Hmmm?”

He grins at the sleepy tone, fingertips dancing along her bicep. “I want to ask you something, love.”

That makes her sit up a little bit straighter in his lap, meeting his gaze as she nods, curious expression on her face, a little scrunch to her nose and that crinkle between her brows he finds adorable. “What is it?” Her gaze flickers around her, blinking the sleep from her eyes from the little catnap she'd been taking against him.

Inhaling sharply, Robin asks, “Would you consider moving in with me? And Roland. Full time. No more occasional nights apart.” He smiles at her, fingers playing with the tips of her hair just brushing the tops of her shoulders. “I want us to start a life together, officially.”

He’s babbling, his voice a bit sheepish, nerves unexpectedly bouncing around in his stomach. It’s silly. It’s not like he’s proposing marriage, not yet anyway (though the thought has crossed his mind a time or two). Besides, she’s practically living with them already, his question is really just a formality. Surely, she'll agree. Still, his stomach gurgles and swoops in his gut as he waits for her answer.

For a moment, she looks stunned, taken aback, and Robin worries that perhaps he's overstepped some boundary. That she might not be quite as ready to fully and completely share her life and space with he and his son as he thought.

Then the most stunning smile he's ever seen grace her features erupts and she's laughing, winding her arms around his neck and looking at him like he's said the most foolish thing in the world, but she answers immediately. “Yes,” shaking her head at him, Regina leans in and kisses him hard, fusing their lips together for a solid minute before pulling away. “Yes, I would love to move in with you and Roland. Though you might regret that when you see the entirety of my shoe collection,” she jokes.

“Never,” Robin replies without hesitation, heart swelling as he laughs and swoops in to take her mouth with his again.

The loud and earth shattering boom of the first fireworks explode in the night sky above them at precisely that moment. Bursts of colors and sparks flying and dissolving into nothing but smoke wafting through the atmosphere.

Regina and Robin chuckle against each other’s mouths, tipping their foreheads against one another as Roland’s shout of excitement sounds from across the yard, and he runs over to where they’re seated. He climbs into Regina’s lap immediately, no regard for how she’s perched on Robin’s at all, and she and Robin grin at each other.

Wrapping his arms around the both of them, Robin sighs contentedly as the three of them watch the fireworks light up the starlit sky together.

Their own cozy little family that grows stronger and closer every day.