#the difference between us and europe tour merch

[jentlemahae]

sm needs to find a company to handle nct’s european promo immediately

[harrysmimi]

New York

Synopsis: Harry finally convinces his girl to come to see him play in New York

Ps: This is after Harry said publicly that he's got a girlfriend, YN and Him wrote Harry's House together.

Series Masterlist | More of my work

YN has never been out of Europe.

The only time she even stepped a foot out of England was when Harry took her to the Louvre museum on an impromptu weekend vacation. It was difficult for her to manage vacations, especially with work and stuff.

But she was now going to New York on her own. She was going to shit her pants but she had ber boyfriend on her mind. He had offered to send in his private jet for her but she refused and booked the flight herself. She would have felt too bad if he paid for everything though she knew he wouldn't mind. He didn't pressured her either knowing very well he'll have his way with her in many different ways.

Harry has been going around talking to everyone on his crew that his girlfriend is coming over and how excited he is. Especially last night's show because she's going to be there the next one, watch him perform songs they wrote together. Though it won't be the first time.

This morning he drive to airport himself, an hour early and waited for her there.

YN on the other hand has been very anxious the entire flight. Especially because she was clearly sandwiched between two of Harry's fans. And she's hundred percent shre that there are more in the front and the back row. Yes, no one has really seen her face but it still made her anxious, especially hearing those girls talking about how stupid it was that Harry wrote an Album about his ex (or exes in speculation) with his alleged girlfriend. How none of them would allow that to happen if their boyfriend were to write song about his past relationships with them.

His fans have been nothing but kind to her, online, or that she hasn't come around the hate yet. Her algorithm loved her enough to not show her any hate, but only the sweet things his fans were tweeting about her the day Harry's appearance on Graham Norton show aired. None of them took sneaky pictures of her, or tried to harras her or anything like that. Even the fans who'd visit her cafe are nothing but little sweethearts.

But YN slept through it when those girls finally stopped talking. She was still going be jetlagged for sure.

Half an hour before the flight one of the girl noticed that YN was wearing one of Harry's old merch. It was an old hoodie he gave her before leaving for his US tour, she loved how worn out and loved the fabric felt against her body. And as stupid and naïve it sounds, she wore it to bed every night because it made her feel that he's next to her. It's been a two weeks over a month since his tour began.

"Oh my god, Hi!" The blonde chirped, "are you going to see Harry too?"

YN took off her earphones even though she had nothing playing that moment, "I, uh, yeah." She nodded hesitantly.

"Awesome! Are in the pit? Or the balcony? We can all go together!" She went on.

"I, ehm, I am at the very back." YN lied, Harry would probably have her stand in the pit or the family section in the balcony if there was any.

"Oh the nosebleeds!" The girl with red dyed hair exclaimed as if she felt bad for her, Did you got last in the Ticketmaster list?"

"Oh, yeah!" YN nodded trying to be as confident as possible.

And that was that for their interaction on the flight. She waited for the crowd to get off first before she grabbed her carry on bag and walked around herself. She called Harry to let him know that she'd landed safely and would be taking a cab to his LA house.

"Hey," she said a little suspiciously as he answered her call in the first ring.

"Hello, my sweet girl!" He exclaimed, "I'm waiting for you out side come on out."

He already knew she landed? Well, of course she called him!

"Are you here to pick me?" She chuckled.

"Yes, it would've been very rude of me to let my girl take a cab when I can drive her myself." His voice always sounded extra deep and raspy on the call.

"Well, you didn't had to. You know your fans are flying in from all over the world. There were a few on the flight. I don't want you to be bombarded by people this early in the morning." She ranted, waiting for her suitcase impatiently. The more she heard him talk, the more she wanted to hug him.

"I don't mind, now come on out so I can kiss you!" he whined through the phone.

"Just getting my suitcase," she finally saw the yellow suitcase she bought last minute on the conveyor belt. "Five minutes." She hung up the call and walked out to the exit. Not exactly knowing how to navigate her way out she just following the people she saw pn her flight, she'll surely find a way out of the airport.

And she did and immediately spotted Harry talking to a few people, he held his phone in his hand. Dressed his grey hoodie and black bikers shorts with his red shoes he often wears to gym. He was smiling as he talked to the girls who were on the plan with her, his dimples denting deep in his cheeks but not enough to make the crinkles appeare by his eyes. He just waved them bye before the girls left him alone.

YN knew he was going to bump into them.

He rushed towards the exit when he finally saw his girl walking out, rolling the yellow suitcase. Beaming he pulled her right in his arms in a tight embrace.

"Hey you!" She chuckled, wrapping her own arms around his neck.

"Hey you," he mumbled back pulling away just enough to look at her, he pressed his mouth on hers in a tender kiss. "I missed you!" He hugged her again.

"I missed you so much!" She reciprocated, her voice sounded more watery to her surprise.

It would be a lie to say she wasn't having a hard time coping around now that he's back in tour. Especially since her parents got to know about them, they've been giving her a hard time. Plus the things she heard on the flight have been getting to her slowly.

"Baby are you crying?" He cooed, rubbing her back, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just missed tou so much!" She mumbled now not even trying to hold back the crying weight in her voice.

"It's okay, we're together now baby." He assured her, "you want to go to our hotel now, hm?"

"Mhmm." She agreed. He kissed her cheek before reluctantly pulling away from the embrace. He took both her bags and had her tucked under his arm as he walked them both to his car. He plopped the bags in the back seat before he opened the door for her, that's when he saw her crying.

"Did you miss me this much?" He teased her, reaching to wipe her tears with the pads of his thumbs. "I'm not going anywhere, coming right back home to you!"

"I know." She whined sheepishly.

"I love you." He smiled.

"I love you." She leaned into his touch. He gave her another kiss on the forehead before he opened the door for her to the passenger seat and drive to his hotel.

Harry knows she doesn't cry, unless she's watching Brave or any other Disney or a Marvel movie. He is jealous how she deals situations under pressure calmly. So seeing her in tears today made his heart sink to his stomach. Yeah, there is not always happy times and laughs and giggles, it's just rare to see her cry that all.

If he sits down to tally the times there have crying times out of being overwhelmed, he'd be the one winning. And never once did she made him feel bad for having his breakdowns.

"How was your flight baby?" He asked.

"It was good." She nodded.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," she nodded again chuckling, "I'm just tired."

"How about we take a nice warm bath before breakfast?" He suggested, "Sarah is excited to see you tonight."

"She texted me before I got on the flight to have a safe flight." YN smiled, "I can't wait to see her either!" Her and Sarah have become best friends from the first few times they met, especially through the writing sessions for Harry's House.

"What about me, aren't you excited to see your boyfriend?" He pouted.

"I see you all the time," she shrugged, "I don't see Sarah that often."

He gasped, "I wasn't crying just five minutes ago!"

"I am just joking Harry," she chuckled, "I missed you a lot!" She grabbed his free hand lacing their fingers together.

"And I missed you too." He beamed.

Today is Harry's day off. He usually goes out golfing or do some outdoor activities. But he was going to spend it with his girl inside today, doing all the indoor activities. He ran them both a nice warm bath right after their little love making session in the bathroom. He'd come to figure that warm baths help her loosen up, especially after a stressful day, not just physically for her arthritis but also mentally. She has told him that, plus it was as cold in New York as it was in London. And later bundle up in bed under the blanket.

"Do you want to go somewhere later today?" He asked just to be sure he's not holding her back. It's her first time in the city.

"Not today but, I want to Central Park though." YN shared, leaning into as he wrapped her up in his arms in a blanket burrito they're both now.

"We can go there the day after tomorrow, yeah?" He suggested, earning a quiet hum from her. "You never told me what happened on the flight?"

"I told you, it was good." She shared. That made him lift his head back to glare at her with squinted eyes. "Okay, it wasn't but I don't want to complain about it!"

"Don't, just share it with me." He shrugged, simply. It was that dimple?

"There were some girls sitting next to me, talking about how stupid it is that you wrote the album about your past relationships with your girlfriend, and how none of them would let that happen with them. I mean, write songs with their boyfriend about their ex and shit. It's okay, though." She explained, feeling stupid to talk about this. "And they saw me wearing your hoodie and asked if I was going to your concert and stuff. I said yes, they said I should join them but I told them I am at the very back."

"Did they not recognise you?" He was actually surprised because just when YN boarded her flight the little Behind The Album was released on his YouTube and she is in it, as they're writing Love Of My Life in the studio.

"No," she shook her head. And honestly she's glad they didn't recognise her because she really felt unsafe for many reasons in that setting.

"Oh baby, please don't let it get to you, hm?" He cooed to her, "I know it's the worst thing, but not everyone is gonna like us, or be happy because we are together. I am sorry you had to sit through all that, and it's really not stupid that we made an Album together which is now nominated for Grammys!"

"I know, I know, really didn't meant to cry like that. I've been really overwhelmed lately that's all."

"It's okay to cry, you tell me all the time!" He chuckled softly seeing the soft pout on her lips, "I think this album is the best thing which has happened to me because I got to know you so much more. And I've got you all to myself now!"

"I should say that." Her cheeks heated up hearing him say that.

Both of them knew what each and every song on the album meant. Some were written for his second album which Harry talked to her about. Some they wrote together, some he wrote for her (few of which never made it to the album and were just for both of them).

"No, I feel very lucky and honoured that you're letting me be a part of your life, my love." His hand went up to cup her little chubby cheek, fingers resting just below her ear, "I want to spend the rest of my days with you... And nights."

"I love you so much, Harry!" That made emotional all over again, "I think I'm gonna start my period."

He giggled, "I love you so much more, my sweet girl!" She gave him a firm kiss on his mouth. The door bell rang interrupting their moment.

It was their breakfast. They had breakfast in bed and watched YN's favourite movie all time, Matilda.

......................................................................

The very next day, YN accompanied Harry to the sound check.

Harry sometimes forgets that his girl can chaotic and hyper sometimes. Today, especially she got her a drink from Starbucks with Sarah and forgot to get it decaf, so both of them were on Caffeine high the entire time.

"You're going to hurt yourself!" Harry called for Sarah and YN chasing each other with the electric scooters they found at the venue. His drummer just flipped him off. The pit was completely empty.

"Don't be a party pooper!" Even Naomi joined them both.

"Where are you getting these scooters from?" Harry was confused, he propped his mic back on the stand and walked down the stage with Pauli, who got his hands on the last scooter. "Hey, I want one too!"

"No!" YN zoomed past him.

"Share it with me!" He started running after her, obviously she's on a scooter but he caught her, making her scooter come to an hault.

"Alright, get on." She offered. He stepped on the scooter behind her.

"You're going too fast!" He squealed, scared they might crash or fall down.

"You wanted to share," she reminded him. They circled around the stage in the pit for next fifteen minutes, before Harry felt like he was going to throw up. Lloyd was there taking their pictures, Harry's gonna ask for all of the pictures with his girl. They all calmed down eventually and just walked around a little, helping the crew place little posters and Boas on the seats for the fans in the balcony.

"I never imagined it to be that big!" YN pointed out the banner with her boyfriend's name and his achievement on it hanging in the venue. It was his first time playing back in Maddison Square Garden after the banner was installed.

"Yeah, it's quite surreal." Harry commented, glancing up at the banner.

They went back to his dressing room. It was very zen in the room. A sofa which goes everywhere with Harry on the tour, and few pillows, one of which was YN's he took from her flat the first time he left for tour after they started dating. He said it was like taking a piece of her with him.

A blue humidifier on the coffee table, a wheeled closet get wide open with a bunch of patterned and leather pants and T-shirts, sets of jackets and vest suits with his Gucci shoes. Harry Lambert was helping him put together an outfit for tonight.

"What do you think baby?" Harry asked, holding up brown leather pants and a yellow T-shirt with brown polka dots on it. YN didn't liked it to say the least, but she didn't know how to tell him.

"Baby doesn't like it." Lambert commented already getting to pick another fit, making her laugh.

"I like the green and brown jacket and pants." She pointed out.

"Don't feel like being half naked today." Harry giggled. "Do you want to help?"

"Mhmm." YN helped her boyfriend pick an outfit, Lambert left them to themselves. She picked a blue shirt with a red heart in the middle and matching baby blue leather pants. "This is so cute!"

"Yeah, you want one?" He asked her admiring the teddy on of the shirts from his Gucci collection.

"Hah! It's too expensive."

"Who said we have to pay for it?" He shrugged, "I'll ask Lamby to get you one tomorrow."

"No you won't." She warned him, "anyway, are you going to wear this?"

"Yeah," he nodded in agreement, to wear the blue outfit she picked for him.

"Watch your fans praise you the fit." She grinned proudly. He just shakes his head as he shut the door to change up, he stripped down to his boxers. Even she likes to grill him on his new outfits for the shows with his fans. It's all jokes.

"Are you still coming to the Grammy's with me, love?" He asked, now getting dressed he caught her taking sneaky pictures of him in just his leather pants, "why don't you ask me to pose for you?" He posed for her with his hands on his hips all his tattoos on show with hickeys she left just this morning on his neck and collar bones, making her giggle.

"I'm gonna put it on my wallpaper." She announced.

"It's only fair if I get to have your topless picture of you on my wallpaper." He smirked, pulling off the shirt from it's hanger and pull it over his head. She scoffed.

"Ehm, no?"

"Ehm, yes!" He challenged her, rushing towards her he attacked her with tickles.

"Harry stop!" She squealed, squirming under his touch.

"Come on lemme have a little glance." He teased as his finger tips dug in her sides gently.

"No, you had a glance this morning." She laughed with her eyes shit closed, out of breath already. Harry felt pitty and stopped beaming at her. "You're annoying!" She laughed still recovering from a tickle attack, she found him basically straddling her thighs.

"Am I?" He pouted, "but you still love me."

"Mhmm." She lets out a sigh.

"Gimme a kiss now." He demanded already leaning towards her with her face cupped between his hands, he pressed a soft kiss on her mouth. "You're cold." He commented.

"Yeah, you've got the AC on blast." She reminded him.

"I'm sorry, I'll turn it off." He got up from literally hovering her to reach for the remote to turn the air condition off for her. He fetched her jumper for her. "This dress really looks pretty on you baby." He pointed out for the fifth time today.

Harry hardly sees her in dresses, because most of the time she's at work and it's not very comfortable for her to move around in dress while working. So as cliche as it sounds he really loves it when she wear dresses. And she's been going off about the dress she's got on now since she found it at a thrift store she went to just before she came to New York.

"You told me that already Harry," she looked down at her dress, her cheeks turning flush as her palms smooth over the fabric covering her form. He remembered she did the exact same thing when he went to pick her up for their first date and he complimented the jumper she was wearing.

The knock on the door caught their attention.

"You're cute." He pecked her forehead quickly before he went to answer the door. It was Sarah.

"YN, would you mind helping me with my hair? Naomi is helping Elin and we have to be on stage in twenty." She said and glanced at Harry, "can I steal her for a moment please?"

"You've already stole her!" He scoffed jokingly, his faux-upset face was hilariously adorable.

"I'll be there, Sarah." YN nodded, the brunette gave her a thumbs up before she walked back to her green room. "You have to be in the box, get your mic transmitter on."

"Oh yeah," Harry realised he still had to do his hair, put on his rings and get his mic transmitter fixed on him. "I'll see you out, okay?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, leaning forward to ask for a kiss with pouty lips and kitten eyes. Honestly she didn't wanted to leave his side but she also promised her friend to help her.

"You'll have me tonight, and tomorrow, darling." He assured her, of course giving her the kiss she was silently begging for, "go help her now, hm?" He's got a premier of his new Marvel movie and she was going to be date tomorrow night.

"Yeah," she nodded making her way out.

"Oh wait, wear this. Don't want you getting sick." He fetched her jumper again, "it's gonna be cold at back."

......................................................................

"Be careful." Harry's guard warned him but it was too late he hit his head on the box.

"You okay?" YN rushed towards him.

"Yeah, yeah don't worry." He laughed as he didn't hurt himself at all.

"Best of luck." YN smiled blowing him a little kiss before he was being rolled in the box to the stage as the band was already on the stage. She followed Jeffery and Glenn outside. Harry was on the stage in no time.

Already three songs in, his fans started to notice YN in the pit with Glenn beside her. She was already feeling the cameras and eyes on her.

"Do you want to go get a drink?" Glenn offered already seeing her anxious.

"Mhmm." She nodded and followed her to go get drinks. Now that put her to ease, Harry was reading a few signs and talking to fans all the attention was on him, as it should be.

"The next song is really, really special. Wrote it with three of my best friends, Miss YN..." Harry started making the crowd scream he chuckled upon mention of her name, "yeah, let's have a cheer for her!" He hyped the crowd, "and I also wrote this song with Tom and Tyler. If you know the words to this one please do join!"

He started with As It Was, as always it was a blast of a song to play. YN noticed few girls walking upto the barricade by the back of the where she was stood along with Harry's friends, the same girls who were on the flight with her talking shit about her relationship like they know it inside out first hand. It made her heart beating like a race horse. Jeffery approached the girls, it looked like they said they wanted to talk to her because he called her over.

"Oh my god, Hi!" The blonde girl greeted her the same way she did on the flight, "I literally had no idea you were The YN! You were literally so sweet, we just wanted to say Hi."

"Oh hello," YN smiled, "thank you so much, you're so sweet!" Her experience working at a cafe came handy in moments like these.

"You know them?" Jeffery asked.

"We were on the flight together," YN shared.

"Yeah, please tell Harry we said we love him!" The brunette said to Harry's manager.

"Sure will." Jeffery smiled and escorted YN back to where everyone was stood.

As much as people might hate this man, he's grown to be a good friend of YN. He's protective of her like an older brother. Like the way her own brother was never protective of her. And she respects Jeffery so much for that. He has been nothing but sweet and kind to her since the day Harry decided he wanted to take her around his friends, who definitely were so much different than her. Never once anyone made her feel small about her, or talk bad or even judge her when she told them what did for living. Unlike her own family she was born and brought up in.

YN loved everyone, especially Sarah! She's like the sweetest little being YN has come across in years!

Through out the show, more of Harry's fans came over to talk to her. Some even asked for pictures to which she politely declined to because she did not felt comfortable enough. There were just couple of people who looked at her weird but all of them were nothing but respectful towards her. Many were filming her. Especially when Harry sang Matilda and she was crying as Glenn hugged her warmly, she wasn't the only one crying there. Even Harry was teary eyed at some point. But YN had a great time, dancing and jamming to her boyfriend putting on one of his best shows. He was extra happy today because she was there, he said to her before he got on the stage. He even performed Kiwi twice, it was the last show of the tour anyway.

At the end, YN followed Harry's body guard out to where his car was waiting for him before Harry ran down the stairs. He had his mic transmitter removed and handed over to the technician.

"Did you enjoyed the show?" Be asked, opened the car door for her to the passenger side.

"I did," she nodded and got in, "thank you." He kissed her cheek before he'd shut the door and run to the driver's side.

"Well, I did my best!" He grinned making her smile too. She looked more exhausted as he had adrenaline pumping through.

"I think I started my period." She shared with a sheepish smile on her face, she haven't got any period products on her, not even at the hotel.

"Did you wanted to use the restroom back at the venue?" He asked, worried that he'd dragged her with him.

"No, I, I don't have pads on me." She mumbled but he heard her.

"Okay, we'll drive to the store first." He announced making a turn. "Did you not get any with you?"

"I forgot to pack some with me."

"That's okay, we'll get you some." He assured her. "Do you need the pain medication too?"

"Mhmm." She nodded. He parked by the nearest convenient store.

"Let's get icecream too." He suggested, walking both of them to the frozen food aisle. He picked out her favourite flavour and few of her other favourite snacks, before they both headed to the til and head back to their hotel.

......................................................................

The very next morning, Harry ordered breakfast in. He waited for her to get off the phone with her mum.

He have noticed her family's been after her since the day they visited to see her grandma. Yeah, her family doesn't approve of Harry.

It was like he got hit in face with a bucket of ice water when he was so upset why his girlfriend didn't wanted him to meet her family.

Whilst her grandma didn't care, well, she was sick so why would she, her parents were not impressed by her choice of man to be with. Her parents have been bugging her to go move back in with them because it isn't really appropriate for girls to live alone when they're not married. Bullshit, he called it.

That's the reason why YN moved to Hampstead with Brielle and her mum making an excuse of wanting to go to a different school at 16, and she never went back. It didn't seem problematic to Harry until she told him she have been living away from her parents since highschool. But she makes it seem like it's not a big deal.

Apparently YN even had to lie about her degree until the day she graduated, her parents thought she was getting a law degree this whole time along with Brielle.

They even thought she was making up excuses and lying about her chronic pain to avoid dance classes for the longest. Which was the hardest one to swallow. It made sense to him why she didn't wanted to dump all of this on him at the very beginning of their relationship.

Whilst her older brother, Asher, seemed the most understanding one, he was also the only person who was nice to Harry. They actually sat down after breakfast at YN's parents' with tea and had a nice chat. Her little Niece and Nephews were making a chaos in the backyard though.

"I apologise for anything our parents say to you, Harry." Asher began when they sat down.

"No, why are you apologising?" Harry was genuinely confused for a bit there.

"I talked to them after YN told me about you two dating, least to say they have been bickering with her to move back in." The brown eyed man said, "they have their many reasons, one of which you're closer to age to me than you're to her. But I don't see any problem there she's a grown up, and you really make her happy I've figured."

"I see," Harry nodded, letting it all sink in. He really makes her happy? That really warmed his heart. Yeah, he is quite a bit older than YN but he is younger than her brother but she doesn't see a problem with that, that's all that matters to him.

"Just don't pay a mind to them, they fear YN anyway." Asher smiled. And they went on to talk about careers and stuff for the time being. "I apologised because you're going to be my future brother-in-law. Right?"

Harry smiled at the thought, "In future, yeah! But please, treat me as your friend."

And yes, her parents did talk shit about him. But not to his face, they were being petty nice to him. No wonder why YN didn't wanted to stay at theirs for even one night. It wasn't as bad as his subconscious made it out to be though.

"Hey, what happened?" He cooed watching YN throw her phone on their hotel bed. "C'mere, my love." Grabbing a gentle hold of her hand he made her sit on his lap, tears brimmed in her eyes.

"Same old, same old." She sighed leaning into him.

"It's okay, love." He assured her, "just don't pay a mind to them. You're happy, aren't you?"

"Very!" She affirmed.

"That's all should matter." He smiled a dimply grin at her. "Is there anything else she said?"

"She was reminding me how you're gonna leave me."

"Never gonna do that, you know that right?" He rushed, "it's gonna take a lot to get rid of me, baby girl."

"Oh don't call me that!" She scolded him whining. "I'm not planning to get rid of you, ever!"

"Good." He smiled, "don't cry my love!"

"I just want them to stop and just leave me alone for gods sake!" The lump of a cry in her throat was starting to hurt the more she tried to hold it back, "they can't let me be happy for once. They're being so disrespectful towards you, towards me, towards us. That's not fair!"

"I know baby that not." He cooed, his voice soft and low, "I don't care what they think about me anymore, all I care about you and what we have. They talk all the bad stuff they want, doesn't matter to me. We know what have is right, special and sacred to us. And most importantly I love you too much to even care about what people have to say. I've said this before, not everyone in this world is gonna like us. But that's okay. We can still co-exist with peace. They're your parents and it's gonna be hard to cut them off- if that's what you want, I'm never gonna suggest that. But I want you to know that I'll be there with you to support you through everything, because I care for you and I love you."

"I love you too!" She sobbed hugging him tightly, "you're making me cry!"

"It's alright." He lets outs soft and quiet breath of a laugh. "You can cry and let it all out." She felt take in a deep breath, "not don't you dare blame it on your period."

"I wasn't!" She pouted, he smiled and pressed a sweet kiss on her tear soaked cheek.

"Do you wanna eat? Our breakfast is getting cold, do you want to eat now?" Swiping off tears from her face he peppered her with many more little pecks.

"Mhmm, I'm hungry."

"That's my baby" With a pat on her bum he urged her up so they can both go and sit at the table to eat. "Got your favourite."

Later in the morning, Lambert came over with Harry's fit and to YN's surprise, a dress for her too. Apparently Harry had Alessandro make a custom dress for her but it wasn't done on time, So Mr. Lamby went on a little shopping spree, he got YN a red blouse with puffy sleeves made of a flowy fabric and a pair of black pants with black loafers to go with it.

"Harry, why did you-" YN looked Lambert Interrupting herself.

"I charged it on Harry's card, don't you worry love." Lambert assured her which made her glare at her boyfriend.

"Haz, why? I already got an outfit." She turned to her boyfriend who was very confused on whether he should wear a undershirt or a tank top underneath his blazer.

"Baby it's okay. I wanted to match!" He whined. He'd got a red and gold suit custom made for himself to fit for his movie character, Eros. "Please wear it? For me, please!"

"I think you should YN," Lambert suggested, "you'll look amazing in this."

"Okay." She agreed because she has got no other choice, or she'd be making her boyfriend upset. She changed into the clothes Lambert got her. Harry was already dressed, he did his own hair and put on some concealer under his eyes and on little spots like all of the make up artists he's had over the years did. All he needed was to put on his blazer.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?" He sounded, buttoning his cuffs.

"I don't - would you mind braiding my hair?" She asked.

"Don't you want to style them baby?" He walked in the bathroom where she was.

"Well, I have never tried to before so I don't know." She shrugged, looking at him through the mirror. He looked perfect with his red pants on a gold, glittery shirt.

"Hmm, do you want to style your hair or wear it in a braid?" He asked.

"I don't know."

"Then just wear it as it is, you look pretty with whatever." He smirked a cheeky smile.

"No, but wouldn't it be too weird? My hair is all weird and half wavy and half straight." She pointed out.

"That okay."

"It's not. For me." She pouted, "suggest me something else please!"

"Okay, lemme help you curl them then, have a seat." He gestured her to sit on the closed toilet seat. Brought out the hair straightener he keeps with him and some heat protecting products. "We've got an hour left till we leave." He announced. It was enough time.

Now he's seen his sister and mum do this all the time growing up, even his past partners and even friends. So it was a second nature cor him to curl her hair which fell down to waves almost immediately, her hair was completely opposite of his.

"Don't burn my hair, Haz, please!" She requested as he got to the second to last strand of hair and she started seeing smoke coming out of the hair iron.

"Don't worry baby, it's not your hair." Be assured her, "it's the product I put in your hair."

"I am still scared!" She cringed hearing the little clicking sounds of her hair falling down from the flat iron in her ear.

"All the more pretty." He commented, "look." He urged her up so she can take a look at his masterpiece. It really did looked good. No wonder he's so good at doing his own hair. All she has been doing is wearing her hair in a simple, boring braid her whole life. Who knew a few waves in her hair would make her all that more confident in herself. "You like it?"

"I love it!" She beamed at him through the mirror.

"It's not done yet." He warned her, grabbing the hair spray he got into the hairdresser action. Fluffing up the waves as he prayed in the product. "Now it's done!"

"Oh my god, thank you Harry!" She exclaimed, "I don't think I can afford to pay you though."

He shrugged, "I'll take my payment in kisses tonight." With that a gentle peck was placed on her red painted lip. "It's good to keep your payment options versatile when it's your girlfriend."

"Mhmm, I see." She nodded mumbling against his mouth, "do I get a discount?"

"We'll negotiate it later." He was rewarded with another kiss.

......................................................................

"We see that Angelina Jolie brought her kids, Gemma Chan brought her sister with her as her date, who does Harry Styles have with him?" The interviewer asked, who obviously saw his brief interraction with his girl who was stood with Jeffery for the time being. "Did you bring your wife with you?"

"Yeah," he admitted not even trying to correct the lady there, that was going to be true in very near future. His fans can have a field day with this information if they like. "Yeah, she did came with me." He did not hesitate to glance at his girl fangirling over Gemma in the corner next to Jeffery. She's gonna have a field day when she finally gets to meet Angelina later.

Luckily the interviewer moved on to talk about the movie with him. He moved on to the next person, who also asked about YN but refered to her as his girlfriend which he didn't bother to comment on either. He was having with Interviews today, especially when the third and last one called YN his Fiancé. Alas, he got to be reunited with his girl.

He was away from her for three hours okay!

That's far too long. He had to leave from the hotel alone unless he wanted to walk the red carpet with YN, he would if she felt comfortable enough with it. He didn't force her and let her go with Jeffery.

It was one of the best evenings he's had in a long time. His girlfriend really enjoyed the movie sat next to him in the cinema hall. It really warmed his heart.

YN also got along with Gemma Chan so well they even exchanged numbers and Instagrams. Gemma promised YN that she'll let her know whenever she's in town to visit her cafe. Well, least to say YN almost passed out fangirling the moment Gemma moved on to talk to others.

"Oh my god, she's real!" YN exclaimed looking at her boyfriend who was giggling.

"I know." He nodded, "you're enjoying your time so far, baby?"

"Very!" She agreed without any hesitation. There was little dinner after words which she enjoyed as well.

......................................................................

It was the next morning and least to say, his fans were going crazy online, according to Jeffery.

But they still went out like he promised her before they flew back home. They went to the Central Park and the Zoo, did all the touristy stuff for her. It was pretty crowded there but not enough to suffocate you.

"Mommy!" A little high pitched voice crying was audible in the loud crowd of people moving around. It caught YN's attention.

"Did you hear that?" YN asked Harry, finally saw the little head of brown hair. Harry was confused at the little four year old didn't hesitate to run to his girlfriend and wrap her arms around her legs.

"Find my mommy please!" She cried.

YN seemed more calm to him than he thinks she in from the inside, and as confused as she was. Harry had no idea how they're gonna find this kid's mother who is clinging onto his girlfriend. He wanted to help her.

"Hey, it's okay little dove." YN assured her crouching to match her height, "don't cry. What's your name?"

"Emma." The little girl let out a soft sob.

"Okay Emma, we're going to find your Mummy." She assured the little girl. "Okay, ehmm..." She looked at Harry who was crouched by the little girl too. She seemed scared of his for some reason and moved closer to YN, "No, it's okay. You want some water?"

"Mhmm." Emma nodded and took the bottle from YN.

"Do you know your Mummy's phone number, we can call to her on?" She asked.

"Baby she looks to be about four." Harry reminded her.

"Kids now a days know their parents' number." YN said and looked back at the little girl. She had a little Mickey Mouse purse on her which YN checked and found a tiny note pad in, with a number. "Look, we'll call your Mummy okay? Don't cry now, hmm?" She held the little girl close to her and called her mother from her phone. Who came over to pick her daughter in no time, all frantic.

The lady had two more kids with her, no wonder why she lost one. But she was thanking YN hysterically crying, before they left.

"How did you know that?" Harry was surprised.

"You know my cafe is closer to two schools, and we surve out doors too. Well, we've had many stressed out and burnt out parents almost forgetting their kids there." She shared, "luckily all the little kids I've dealt with were in their school uniform and had their parents contact on their school IDs. Emma luckily had the little note pad on her, or else I was about to go to every corner and find her mother."

"Awh! You're so sweet baby!" He cooed, a breath of a giggle sounding through his chest as he pulled her in a hug.

"Just traumatised." She shrugged, "even I got lost when I was like five when my mum was picking me up from school."

"No, how?" He never thought she'd be the one to get lost as a kid, it's not something to think about. But she drives without a GPS which says a lot.

"It was back when we lived in India. My school was in a like a huge campus, so there was a huge rush and I didn't liked to hold my mum's had whilst walking." She smiled sheepishly, "so I ran back to my teacher in school and she called my mum there." He laughed at the story. It was adorable how she was smart enough to run back to her school and ask her teacher for help.

"You're a smart one," he booped her nose with his pointer finger, having her tucked under his arm as they made their way out of the zoo. Harry did spied a few cameras around which annoyed the shit out of him but he was successful enough to conceal his frustration. They went to eat and back to hotel as YN started feel her cramps kicking back in.

......................................................................

Twitter

Harrysleftshoe SHUT UP! HARRY IS MARRIED?!?!! WHEN DID THAT HAPPENED???

Replies

User1 wtf? When did that happen???

User2 He literally chose to not correct the interviewer. That's so harry of him.

User3 Nour! The other one call his partner his Fiancé and he didn't say anything! 😭

User4 He's so sick in the head for not telling us anything.

User5 He's so for real for this. Harry literally tell your fans nothing! We love your girlie no matter what!

User6 So you're telling me he secretly got married? 🥺

User7 Awww I'm so happy for him!!!

User8 He's gay! Get over it!

User9 It's a PR stunt. Get over it!

User10 User9 Literally, how it is a PR stunt when we don't even know her name yet? She's not famous!

User11 No, he's so cheeky. But his girl is so pretty 🥺 I wanna hug her and apologise for all the hate comments she gets

User12 SHE'S SO FUCKING GORGEOUS! HARRY YOU'RE ONE LUCKY MF

User13 Nah! This can't be real. Remember he said, what we see is just work? Yeah, it's clearly a PR

User14 User13 literally stfu. What have we seen. He's talked about her all for two times and they've been together for almost three years. Go get a fucking job!

User15 This makes me so happy!

IndianHarrie Y'all know that it's gonna big fat brown wedding. If he got married we'd know. So calm your tits! He just doesn't want to talk about his relationship!

User17 For real! If he talks about her, it's a PR. When he didn't talk about her, he was embarrassed of her. Get a grip for fucks sake!

User18 Wait, I've seen this man at the Central Park zoo the other day. My daughter got lost in the crowd and his wife helped her find me. They're both literally the sweetest. God bless the lovely couple with eternal love and abundance of joy! I don't know why people are hating on such a sweet girl.

User19 User18 Omg! They're so sweet for doing that.

User20 This man is such a good secret keeper. I love him!

User21 Anygays, you know what is today's date? 👀

User22 User21 *a GIF of Harry saying 'Shut up!'*

User23 He was way better with Kendall.

User24 User23 Ew! Stop, don't compare his current girlfriend to that. 🤢

User25 User24 Why are being a hater? You don't have to be so mean, Kendall is a human too!

User26 User25 Yeah she is, a shitty one to be more specific.

User27 Anyway, he wrote a whole album for Camille and more songs about her are on Harry's House which he wrote with her. Haha! I would be so pissed if my boyfriend did that. She's not his type anyway.

User28 Y'all seriously need to leave Harry and his girl alone. Y'all literally ship him with every white, blonde older woman he's pictured with but he admits to be dating someone who's a POC. Y'all are fucking racists!

User29 We 👏 Stand 👏 with 👏 Harry's 👏 girl 👏

User30 See this shows how y'alls feeling for Harry is not real, when y'all are not ready to support him when he's actually happy. He has been looking the healthiest since we have literally known him! Get a fucking life.

Tag list:

@vrittivsanghavi @buckymydarlingangel @sweetwritingfanficfriend @theroosterswife24 @sleutherclaw @melllinaa @michellekstyles @sunshinemoonsposts @marialikescherries @japanchrry @supersanelyromantic Lemme know if you want to added to the tag list

[alexstorm]

It's also arrogant to speak for an entire fandom when we know there are people out there who had a similar experience to mine. I mean I'm happy if you had a great experience but that wasn't the same for everyone particularly with that price tag. // agreed. I saw them in early July (my first AM concert) and the concert was good but honestly nothing special in retrospect. And a lot of that has to do with the fact that they just rush through their 90 min set and Alex doesn’t interact with the crowd. I get it you’re an introvert and you really have to camp it up on stage with your made up persona. But then just don’t tour if you can’t do it? I was at a little club concert of a German artists recently and the way she was engaging with the crowd and hyping them up just made the gig unique and memorable. I’ve never seen anything like it and I’ve been to a lot of concerts ever since I was a teen. However, if you don’t have that and the impression that the artist is really grateful and genuinely wants to be there it just comes across as indifference, which in the end is a damper on everything in my opinion. Because if the artists don’t talk about the songs either it doesn’t really give the impression that it means something to them and they’re connected to their music. And I also think it’s a bit arrogant to speak for the band. We don’t know what they’re thinking or if they want to continue making music? So please don’t make assumptions just because you felt an energy. A lot of people like to project as well and I think crowds definitely differ from country to country because at my gig they weren’t going crazy for AM. And I definitely also saw the difference in energy between Europe and NA which kind of pissed me off to be completely honest. So yeah.. if you don’t like the crowd in Europe just don’t bother next time honestly.

Absolutely agree with everything you said!

I saw The Hives last month and have to say they were one of my best concerts in all my concert going since I was 13. You can tell Pelle loves being on stage and engaging the crowd. The first gig I left completely sweated through I had to take a shower afterwards. They've ridden us hard and put us away wet. Also the first time I bought two t-shirts from merch, one before the gig and one afterwards.

Also, a really great support band. Everyone should check out Bratakus, a Scottish punk rock band. Loved them!

[whenfatecollides]

honestly I was so emotionally drained a few months back that I didn’t even bother but at this point and seeing how dc are being promoted this cb I genuinely have to wonder what the fuck dcc think they’re accomplishing with all this?

- they literally threw away all the work our fandom had getting them their first win by not having a proper CELEBRATION with KOREAN FANS for it, how fucking hard was it to have a fanmeeting??????? if not an actual concert in KOREA (and I’ll repeat the FANS got them their first win, dcc did nothing for it, no ads, no nothing)

- magazine deals, mc deals, etc, all the stuff you see other groups get when they finally get their first wins, where is all that for dc? it’s not, because they just had to go to european festivals and a usa tour right after their first win (sure it’s great that intl fans got to see them but that’s not the point) how hard would it have been to promote dc a bit better in korea after this?????

-  and speaking of the usa tour, there were sooooooooo many complaints about the venues, that they didn’t have enough capacity in comparison to the demand and there were so many people who didn’t have a chance to see them because of this? again for the stuff that matters dcc keep acting like dc is still a rookie group with no fans

- now we get to october, comeback announced, and they’re still releasing maison content from months ago while vision teasers are dropping, content that should have been released like a week after the event because literally what is the point of watching any of that so much later when you can’t even remember things anymore (you and I era I miss you so much)

- they gave the fandom not even 2 weeks to pre-order the album and immediately announced an eu tour 2 days after pre-orders opened, with no stops in south europe because suddenly europe is just 5 countries, giving european fans 2 days to decide before pre-sale started and a month to organise everything (when usa fans had a lot more time to save money and organise everything)

- dropping merch (I still can’t believe they’re selling a JACKET FOR OVER 100 DOLLARS LMFAO), albums, online concert and eu tour all in the span of 3 weeks because suddenly they’re seeing us as cash cows and for that dc are a big group

- this cb promotion has been just... straight up questionable? again no ads, still relying on fans to put up ads for them, still not doing shit about dc’s digitals when every other company in the industry does it for their groups, mcountdown was just sad to watch, no interview, no intro, no special set for the comeback stage??? we’ve always had a set since fly high era, frankly it was just depressing to watch

- 1st gen insomnias got nearly nothing of benefits in these last 3 years like it’s honestly laughable

- fans have been BEGGING dcc since 2018 to reprint older albums and they still don’t give a shit about it (and no, the albums being from a different distributor from their current one is not an excuse)

- this whole shit show with the halloween concert. splitting the girls’ solo stages between the two days, forcing korean fans to buy both dates if they want to see them BUT ALSO not giving intl fans a chance to see them since they’re only streaming the 2nd day? where is the logic in this? (also 25$ for a ticket of an online concert that won’t even have all the special stages is insane if you ask me)

and I could go on and into more detail but is it even worth it? the disorganization is so palpable that it just genuinely pisses me off. they keep acting like they’re a 2 year old company who doesn’t know what they’re doing and has genuine reason for mistake, but the reality is that at this point they’re an over 10 year old company. there is no excuse for what they’re doing anymore, and personally I’m at my limit as someone who has been supporting dc, doing content, and helping with projects for the past 5 years. for a company that is so dependent on their main group’s fandom they sure act like they could have achieved this all by themselves

[vicea]

dream merch discord recap (june 12, 2021) - disclaimer: i may have missed some things or mistakenly heard other things, apologies in advanced for that!

he has not played the new minecraft update

dream “knows” the date george is coming to florida but he’s not saying it :p

dream doesn’t have anyone muted on twitter

dream guesses his favorite disney princess is belle

sapnap has seen dream’s feet before

he’s not actually connor’s dad in the dsmp lore

dreamnap do not have nicknames for each other D:

dream likes olives but especially black olives

his mother makes homemade pickles

he doesn’t have a phone case

he has dropped his phone from his ear onto concrete in the parking lot before and the screen didn’t crack

dream has six fingers /j

he pours cereal first not milk when making cereal

dream calls sapnap nick most of the time :D

what’s your dream car? “idk the one that gets me to point A to point B consistently”

he finally fixed his sleep schedule, woke up at 8 am today

mrbeast owes dream a tesla because he never sent dream the audio file

dream is a very analytical person - he thinks with numbers/data

creativity is one his strengths that he is the most proud of

3 to 4 years ago, dream used to say george looks like shawn mendes a lot, now he doesn’t resemble him as much

patches is currently sleeping <3

swimming is very relaxing to dream, he swam the other day!

many houses in florida have pools than other places, even the cheapest houses in orlando have pools

dream has merchendise defects (misprints on merch) + milestone merch and he wants to give them away to those who live in orlando (probably to anyone but the event will be held in orlando) though he doesn’t want it to be a covid super-spreader thing so once you pick up your item you gotta dip. just all an idea though

he has been donating them to charity too though :)

dream has likely read Heroes of Olympus before a long time ago

he says that he’ll do a give away of his childhood books with his signature on it

he was obsessed with the series (Percy Jackson) 

he really liked the Alex Rider series

has all of Maximum Ride books, 39 clues books

has read the legend series, the twilight series, and the maze runner

has all/read of the harry potter books, divergent, eragon

he would read all the time, to the point he would read more than one book a day (a book worm he says)

dream had a goal to read 200 books in a year and he wind up reading about 150

he doesn’t want to call it a library but- growing up he had something like that that had 600 or 700 or more books in it (privileged he admits it)

he has not read a book since he started youtube (about 2 years)

dream has a folder called Book that has his own writing in it

word count: 76000 words for one of his stories 

another one he wrote 5 chapters of

he sounds very excited/embarrassed talking about the stories he wrote he’s so endearing

the very first paragraph of one of his stories (he was young when he wrote this) “What exactly is darkness? is it the lack of light? is it a pit of nothingness? ... your mind is full of darkness...” then he couldn’t continue.

the story is about a kid who wakes up in a cell and has no idea where he is with other people who are in the same situation

dream has a world building document

he has a sequel to the first book he has ever written

he found a query letter that he wrote because he wanted to get his book published- he finds it very funny

he’s calling himself a nerd but idk it’s kind of endearing

“as you can tell i’ve always been incredibly cool and not a nerd at all! ever.”

he cringes at his own old videos

dream took a lot of inspiration from witches and wizards by james patterson for writing

the story is written in a way where the main character is actually writing the story so you’re getting input from the main character during it. there’s a lot of sarcasm in it and it’s making dream laugh

very first person narrator

he feels like it’d be very cool if he were to publish his works he wrote when he was 16 on amazon or something but he probably never would because he’d have to read through all of it and it’s just embarrassing for him

dream used to video call sapnap fairly frequently- even before youtube

he strictly remembers, a very long time (at least 7 to 9 years) ago he was at his old childhood house he video called sapnap. he was wearing a (technically) suit and he remembers specifically that he was giving sap a tour... 

“snazzy in a suit”

he had no reason to put on the suit (wow time is a flat circle huh)

drista is pretty close to sapnap’s height, she’s like 5′7″ but sap is still taller than her

dream filmed the whole thing when he and sapnap met but... it’s... gone because when he was clipping that one clip for twitter... it edited the whole video

he’s sure when they meet up with george they will film that too :D

DREAM IS PRETTY SURE THAT HE AND GEORGE WILL MEET THIS YEAR-- HE SAYS A 95% CERTAINTITY the five percent is like either restrictions or visa issues

dream does not play any instruments but he had a guitar hanging on his wall when he was younger...

dream is convinced they’re the same height but also sapnap is probably taller??

they had george compare his height to a door frame and dreamnap were googling for any doorframes to find any possible chance that george is taller than 5′8″ ... nothing came up

there’s a chance they’re both lying about being 5′8″

sap and george will literally just show up in stilts to prove they’re taller than each other /j

dream without shoes is between 6′2″ and 6′3″ with shoes he’s 6′3.5″

dream is talking about awesamdude’s fake height arc again LOL

dreamnap are very private people so they don’t bother each other but george doesn’t care and would just barge into their rooms and start bothering them- they were all joking about that over a voice call

he will visit europe

he thinks that greece would be a cool place to visit because sapnap’s family is from there :) so it’ll be like a nice “treat” to go back with sap :D

dream isn’t entirely sure that the dream team meet up will happen this year but he’s working out the details because he wants to make sure it’s safe

he’s talking to youtube about his face reveal

it’s up to george if he wants to eat healthy when they finally move in

dream just has a lot of meat and vegetables in his house

spinach with chicken is good

not much fruit (only apples and tomatoes)

“DRISTA IS 5″ is trending on twitter LOL (her height got cut off)

dream doesn’t want people flying to different places because he doesn’t want to encourage travel so he wants to do all of the meet ups with a two day heads up at most

he thinks that it’s awesome that ranboo and tubbo are meeting soon !! :D

it’s very cool to dream to see how far everyone’s has come since the beginning of the dsmp. everyone has done so much

dream finalized his youtube plan a couple weeks before he uploaded his video and he was talking to drista about how he was gonna be a big youtuber in a parking lot :”)

she was the first person he really ever talked to about it

dream would love to teach george how to drive it’d be really funny :D (a very good video or a livestream idea) 

dream knows how to ride a bike, he used to have to bike to school

he can’t explain dnf.gay he has no clue he is not responsible. sapnap was the one who found it LOL. he is adamantly exclaiming that it was not him

dream doesn’t worry about views/likes/dislikes a lot- mainly views but that’s for the new uploads

he hasn’t uploaded in like a month and a half (*cries*)

he wants to stream at some point but he doesn’t know when 

he wants to play geoguessr but not now... he doesn’t want to alt stream rn- maybe tomorrow!

he is insisting that the splash text on his minecraft home screen is by callahan

he asked callahan to send him bunch of text files that are dream team related so that the splash can rotate through it but callahan thought it was funny (it is) to put only dreamnotfound <3 so it doesn’t ever change at all and dream doesn’t even know how to change and he has asked callahan to change it but he said no (even though dream pays him LMAO)

the video referenced in the padilla’s video is still in the works, it might be handed over to sapnap though !

he has no idea if he will be in MCC pride yet

padilla got dream’s input for the video, dream found him to be a very nice guy ! :) it’s the first interview that dream did that wasn’t by a person with a negative opinion of dream

dream felt relaxed doing the interview with padilla 

?????? he’s blaming callahan for his “dnfisreal” nickname in bedwars 

he’s blaming callahan for a lot of dnf-related stuff

callahan runs the dream fanart account thus the liking of dnf content

he’s so insistent that it was callahan

dream admits that he was lying about the twitter and other stuff but for sure callahan did code the splash text in LOL

dream liking that tweet “the chances of george doing a hot tub stream is the same of dnf dating” was “funny” he wasnt trying to do any commentary...

the inside joke of “oh it’s all just a joke to you” originates from george and sapnap actually always fighting (like them yelling and shouting at each other) and george said something really mean and sapnap was hurt then geroge said “it was just a joke” and sapnap replied with that line and ever since then it’s been a meme LOL

he says that everyone does the hand-on-the-passenger-seat-while-reversing thing

dream is offline raiding with his chat with 6k people

dream appreciates us and will talk to us soon! 

[texastheband]

Texas V Wu-Tang Clan

Interview by Steven Daly Photography by Peter Robathan Taken from The Face - December 1997

It’s the pop story of ’97, the most unlikely end to a weird year: TEXAS collaborating with the WU-TANG CLAN. First, a Scottish rock band on the verge of slip-sliding away into a tasteful obscurity was reborn via a slew of hit singles and a glut of stylish imagery. Now, in New York, their Brit-cool meets hip hop in a mutually beneficial deal. For everyone concerned, it’s all they need to get on…

Sharleen Spiteri took the call in her front hall. "Yo, Peach," growled a strange voice over transatlantic wires. The gentleman caller was none other than Ol’ Dirty Bastard, court jester of New York hip hop dynasty the Wu-Tang Clan. Apparently Mr Bastard fancied working with Spiteri and her band, Texas. It all started in August, with one of Texas’ managers discussing Land Rovers with someone called Power in New York, who turned out to be the manager of the Clan. A video of Texas’ "Say What You Want" was dispatched, and prodigiously gifted Wu-Tang chieftain RZA signed on to do a re-recording of the single for a prospective single project. Original rapper OI’ Dirty Bastard was replaced by Method Man, the next Clan member with a solo album scheduled.

The hook-up with the Wu-Tang Clan is the perfect climax to a year that’s seen Texas rise from a tumbleweed-strewn grave to grab the pole position in British Pop. A year in which Glasgow’s Sharleen Spiteri has stared out, defiantly remade and remodelled, from every magazine cover and TV show. From a media point-of-view, Texas’ – Spiteri’s – reconfiguring of music and fashion has been the year’s dream ticket. Ever since Bryan Ferry took the innovative step of getting Anthony Proce in to design Roxy Music’s wardrobe in the early seventies, successive phases of pop’s history have thrown up performers who use the fashion photographers, stylists and designers du jour to present The Package. It is these performers who most often capture the youthful mood of their time: that’s why you can see the vulgar glamour of the Seventies in the cut of Ferry’s sleazy lounge-lizard jib; the naive aspiration of the early Eighties in the box-suited and pixie-booted "style" of Spandau Ballet; and the onset of the late-Eighties mixing and matching of different cultures in Neneh Cherry’s Buffalo Stance. When we look back at 1997 we will see in Texas’ sound and vision a new mix, all to do with living the high life but keeping it real. Catwalk and street, the designer and the understated, Prada and Nike; the slick and the cred. Ten years’ gone Scottish guitar outfit and this season’s bright young labels (in both senses). The setting too, has helped. Fashion, again, is big cultural business. Clever pop stars (Goldie! Liam!) want to be seen by the runway and hanging out at fashion parties; young designers yearn to be visible on the stage or the podium (viz. Antonio Berardi’s autumn London show at Brixton Academy). Factor in a paucity of self-motivating, button-pressing, songwriting, photogenic women in British music, and you have a ready-made media phenomenon.

Sharleen Spiteri is holding court at a New York restaurant with a gang of Calvin Klein employees who’ve just accompanied her to the VH-1 Fashion Awards. The annual ceremony is a mutually convenient arrangement, a TV cluster-fuck where the music and fashion industries exchange credibility and cachet. Texas are contemplating just such an exchange themselves, having recently been given the OK by CK. (Tommy Hilfiger has also made overtures.) Spiteri is to have an audience with Klein himself; she’s already been bribed with a trunkful of CK merch, including the streaked black dress – "inspired by [the artist] Brice Marden" – she’s wearing tonight.

Someone suggests that Texas would be perfect for Fashionably Loud, an MTV special where models strut on stage as the hot bands of the moment rock out. "Forget it," quips Spiteri. "there’s only room for one star up where we play." If Spiteri were to join Kate Moss and Christy Turlington on the Calvin Klein payroll it would not, as she sees it, detract from Texas’ music. "Fashion and music have always been connected, and now more than ever," says the singer. "You couldn’t have one without the other. If there’s shit music at a runway show it just doesn’t work."

Meanwhile, there’s the songs. With "White On Blonde", Texas’ fourth album, the music takes care of itself. Radio-friendly unit-shifters abound, helped on their way by producers Mike hedges (manic Street Preachers) and Manchester’s Grand Central. The singles have been, in sequence, nu-soul fresh ("Say What You Want"), springy pop ("Halo"), Motown-sunny ("Black Eyed Boy") and winter warming ("Put Your Arms Around Me"). The B-side remixers have covered all bases in these dance-savvy late Nineties, ranging from of-the-moment talents like the Ballistic Brothers and Trailerman to old stand-bys like Andy Weatherall and 808 State. Texas, patently, lost their dancefloor cherry by cherry-picking the brightest and the best.

Of course, while the singles have all enjoyed heavy airplay and gone top ten, and while "White on Blonde" has sold two million copies (more than its two predecessors put together), the remixes haven’t necessarily helped those sales. As the go-faster stripes of credibility on the solid saloon car, though, they’ve still been essential to The Package; all part of the thoroughly modern mix.

So now, the Wu-Tang Clan. To many, though, this latest development could smack of opportunism. One group are renegade roughnecks who mythologise themselves in epic hip hop anthems; the others are fastidiously tasteful Scots with an eye for perfectly modern consensus-pop. The Wu-Tang Clan are certainly among the aesthetically correct names that Texas always drop in interviews, but can there possibly be a legitimate connection between the two? "A lot of the Wu-Tang backing tracks have the feel of soundtracks, and we’ve always gone for a cinematic sound," says Johnny McElhone, Spiteri’s genial songwriting partner and bass player. "And I’ve always liked Al Green, and they use a lot of Willie Mitchell, Al Green, that whole Hi Records sound, and make it modern. And Marvin Gaye: Method Man, in that duet with Mary J. Blige, used ‘You’re All I Need To Get By."

Having dominated the charts in Europe this year, Texas are now, logically, turning their attention to America: the country that has always inspired them, whether it’s the dusty, pseudo-roots sound of their first three albums, or the iconic-soul and post-soul sounds of Memphis and Staten Island that they give props to now; the place where success has always eluded them. Yet given the commercial momentum of "White on Blonde", their approach to the Wu-Tang Clan is surely not driven by desperation. They are, then, viewing the collaboration with a combination of fan-like wonder and disbelief.

"Method Man is just a wicked, wicked rapper," enthuses Spiteri. "I can’t wait to hear the combination of my vocals and his – I‘m really excited about it. I have a kind of sweet, virginal thing going on, and he’s got this dirty sex vibe. It could be the perfect marriage."

It’s a Saturday night in Manhattan, and ten storeys above Times Square, Sharleen Spiteri sits on the floor of a recording studio, tinkering with her latest high-tech gadget, a Philips computer about the size of a TV remote. Across the street, three ten-foot high electronic ticker-tapes provide testimony to Monday’s stockmarket crash. No matter how much Spiteri plays with her new toy, there’s still that nagging worry: what if the Wu-Tang Clan won’t show? They’re supposed to be on a tour bus returning from a gig in Washington, DC today, but these, after all, are the original masters of disaster. The crew whose normal modus operandi seems to be chaos. The band that recently quit a national tour because only five of the nine members could be relied upon to turn up.

The studio has been booked since six, so Spiteri and McElhone breathe signs of relief when RZA and his posse finally roll in around ten. Among the dozen-strong throng, they’re surprised to see Wu-Tang member Reakwon, a stout fellow with a Mercedes cap and a Fort Knox of gold dental work. Several cigars are hollowed out, their contents replaced with weed; bottles of Cristal champagne and Hennessy are passed around as the air grows thick with smoke.

Half an hour later, method Man makes his entrance. Stooped over, he looks deceptively short – maybe only six-four in his Hilfiger fleece hoodie. "I’m John-John," he tells Sharleen, referring to his alias, Johnny Blaze. Pulling out the big blunt from behind his ear, Method Man considers the job at hand. "She got a nice voice," drawls the laconic giant. "This band not exactly my type of listening material, but they going in the right direction, if you ask me, by fucking with us. I’m waiting for RZA to put down a beat, hear how the vocals sound melded with the track before I come with ideas. I’m one of those guys."

As his friends get on with the serious business of partying, RZA goes to work, feeding a succession of sample-laden discs into a sampler. He has a diffident, genius-at-work charisma about him as he sits with his back to the room, keyboard at side. With a flick of his prodigiously ringed hand he reaches out and conjures up a brutal bassline. The speakers pulse violently. RZA takes a sip of Hennessy. "Record this, right here!" he tells the bewildered-looking engineer.

RZA has decided to dispense with the original master tapes, shipped over from Britain. He wants a completely new version, recorded rough-and-ready without the standard safety net of a time-code. This convention-trashing, wildstyle approach to recording elicits some consternation from the studio’s engineer, a central-casting white guy who warns RZA: "You won’t be able to synch to this, you know." RZA waves him away and turns to Johnny McElhone. "This riff is in E," McElhone tells RZA. "Maybe we should try it in the original key, D." "What are you saying? I understand no keys," says RZA. "You want me to sing the whole song straight through?" asks Spiteri, trying to divine RZA’s intentions. He orders the lights turned down, and offers Sharleen some herbal inspiration. She politely declines and walks to the vocal booth. "What’s her name? Sheree?" asks RZA as Spiteri warms up. The engineer wants to know if he should maybe start recording. "Always record everything!" exclaims RZA. "Ready, get set, go! Play and record, play and record!" Spiteri rattles of a perfect new version of ��Say What You Want’, grooving along by herself and passionately acting out every word, even the ones borrowed from Marvin Gaye’s ‘Sexual Healing". Now it’s time for Method Man, who at this point is so herbally inspired that he can hardly open his eyes. He jumps up and lopes around the main room, running off his newly written rhymes and clutching a bottle of Crystal. Method walks up to the mic and opens his mouth, and that treacly baritone sets a typically morbid scene: "Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest…" The Texas duo just look at each other, shaking their heads in awe.

The hours and the rhymes pass. Around 6am, things are starting to get a little weird. As Method Man snoozes on the sofa, RZA bounces off the walls, dancing like a dervish. "These are the new rhythms," he yells. "These are the new dances from Africa. I learned them when I was there last week!" McElhone and Spiteri crack up. The engineer probably wishes he were in Africa right now; he further draws RZA’s ire by making a mistake as he runs off some rough cassettes. As everyone says goodbye, RZA decides that he’s taking the studio’s sampler – he already has two of the $3,500 items, but at this point it’s all about the wind-up. The engineer, though, having last seen the end of his tether a good few hours ago, has had enough. By the commencement of office hours that morning, the rest of the session will have been cancelled and the band and Clan banned from this studio.

After a few frantic phone calls later that morning, a studio is found that is prepared to let the Wu-Tang Clan through the door. With one precondition: only two of them are allowed in the studio. Now it’s midnight, and four-fifths of Texas watch a trio of RZA-hired session men go through their paces. They shift effortlessly through a handful of soul and funk styles, and the Scots mutter approval. These are the kind of players that are so good they can get away with wearing questionable knitwear.

Soon, another couple of Wus pop in. Then another couple. In the control room RZA orders up a bottle of Hennessy and talks about hearing "Say What You Want" for the first time. "I didn’t fully understand the sound of it," admits the soft-spoken maestro. "It was obviously a popular song, a radio song, and my sound is the total opposite. But I thought that the artist had something, so I thought: "Let’s take her and rock her to my beat."

"Sweet soul, that’s what her stuff sounded like to me. Smooth. It reminded me of the Seventies: in those days, they did songs that would fit anywhere. If you went to a club getting high it would fit; if you was cleaning up your house it would fit. That’s when you’ve got a real great song right there." Whether or not "Say What You Want" is a great song, it’s not quite coming together tonight. Despite the best offers of the studio management, a full complement of Wu posse members ended up in the house. As the night drags on the trio of musicians don’t get with the track, and by eight the following morning there is little in the way of usable material. But everyone stays upbeat. Texas will work on the track in Glasgow, and send it back to RZA to finish, along with a new song based around one of his samples. After vowing to stay in touch, everyone stumbles out into the Manhattan morning light together, the Scots with an American name, and the Clan without a tartan.

From a distance the collaboration will continue. But it’s only a different kind of distance. Culturally, creatively, the gap between the Wu-Tang Clan and the old twang clan is considerable. Yet so it goes, this cross-cultural exchange programme. Whether it’s The Stones copping blues movies, Bowie digging the Philadelphia Sound, Lisa Stansfield getting soulful with Barry White, Sting getting doleful with Puff Daddy… Whether it’s Todd Terry reviving Everything But The Girl or Armand Van Helden making Sneaker Pimps the unwitting jumpstarters of speed garage, naked opportunism and risk-taking innovation have always been confused. Now, with genres blurred and tricknology proceeding apace, anything is possible and everything is permitted. Perhaps it is this, the sheer unlikeliness, that makes the Texas-Wu experiment the most illuminating collaboration of the year. Whether it works or not.

"If you play her stuff in a club, everybody be dancing, but it’s a clear room and you can see everybody’s face," RZA reflects on the departing Sharleen Spiteri. "But if you play mine, the room is smoky." And perhaps it is here, among the clouds and the clarity, between the smoke and the mirrors, where a new sound and vision lies.

Text originally posted on texasindemand.com

[cat-astrophism]

10 + 10

Tag Game - Answer their 10 questions and then think of 10 questions to ask other friends!

I was tagged by @kiribaku-is-endgayme​ ! Thanks for tagging me, I enjoy doing these things and hardly get tagged on em (especially here on Tumblr, haha) My tags and questions are at the bottom!

1. Do you believe in soul mates?

Not really, but kind of at the same time! I do believe you can meet the right people and get along with certain people very well

2. Whats your favorite genre of movies, T.V. shows, and anime?

Action is probably my most favourite! But, I enjoy a mix of action with other genres most of the time. A few of my other favs include sci-fi, supernatural and fantasy!

3. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?

People may say that I’m more of a pessimist, which may be true, but normally I think I am either that or in between. I try to look at what the likeliest/most realistic thing is to happen in a situation. But, when there’s a 50/50 outcome, most times I can be more pessimistic.

4. Is there a movie you can watch over, and over again and not get tired of.

I couldn’t watch any movie over and over again in a short period of time, I prefer to have watching one movie spread out to at least once a year. So I can’t say! If I watched a movie too often, I’d think I’d get bored of it for a long while.

5. If you could live in any other country than your own, what would it be?

One place I’d pick would be Japan, because a lot of my favourite things were made there, such as various anime and Pokemon! So it’d be easy to get merch lol, and touring places would be easier and super fun! Another potential place I’d choose would be France, because of all the interesting foods and places I’d be able to see and try everyday (plus, I take French class, so I know a bit more about France and can speak some French)! Europe in general is just super cool, I really want to visit any of these places someday in the future because I’ve never been to Europe or Japan!

6. If you could switch two fictional characters to eachothers universe, who would they be and why?

I don’t know my top choice but something random and interesting to me that just came up in my mind would be switching someone from Cuphead with someone from Dragon Ball XD Just because it would be very weird for both worlds, and it would be interesting to see how Cuphead or Goku would handle it! It’d also be interesting to see how power levels differ if they are allowed to keep their powers!

7. Do you believe in aliens or some other life form outside of Earth?

Meh, I’m neutral to this topic, I won’t believe in aliens until there is actual proof XD There are possibilites, since the universe is so large. Who knows...

8. What mythical creature do you wish actually existed?

Dragons, I love ‘em. They’re so cool, and I love drawing them too! If they were real, it would be interesting they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, with different abilities (and I would hope some are friendly lol)

9. Whats the most pleasant sounding accent to you?

I don’t really know, I find all accents cool and special in their own ways! Does my own count, because it is what I am used to? Idk XD

10. Do collect anything like, figures, posters, or funko pops?

Yep! I have some anime figures, tho most are the $20 made in China ones on ebay lol (they’re decent quality XD). Lately I’ve been wanting to get some real ones, I have three legit ones so far! I do also have some Funko pops, I’m collecting all the Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance ones (I’ve got em all so far, waiting for new ones I guess)! I also collect Pokemon cards + stuffies!

I’ll tag some friends/acquaintances/few peeps who pop up in my notes semi-often/whatever the freak you see me as lol. Sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged or have been tagged for something like this already! And sorry if I didn’t tag you! SORRY! @spectrumscopix @sireniana @leoart2006 @jesterdoodlez @rawrness-blog @perladellanotte @sunny-day-doodles

Here are my questions, feel free to answer them!

1. What is your favourite OC or OCs of yours? Share links if you can!

2. What is your favourite art piece of yours and/or a friend? Share links if you can!

3. What have you been doing the most to keep you occupied during these quarantining times?

3 + 1. Got any pet peeves? If so, want to name some?

5. What is/are the best thing(s) that has/have happened to you recently?

6. Do you have any recommendations of things to read, watch, play, etc.? Give a very small summary too, please!

7. Have you ever traveled to a different country? If so, where have you been and what were your favourite parts of your travels? If not, where would you want to go and why?

8. Favourite colour(s)?

9. Got any awesome memes to share?

10. Lastly, how are you doing this morning/afternoon/evening/night? I hope things have been going well for you, including anyone reading this!

[lokisasylum]

I said it once and I’ll say it again.

TTU should have been removed for this tour’s setlist after all the unnecessary drama and division the FANDOM created last year since the first time it was sung in Seoul. 

Especially the solo stans’ disgusting behavior of attacking the members and only hyping up/praising their faves while putting down the others.

It’s a beautiful song, yes, but I still feel that its a song that was not quite composed correctly by taking into consideration the four different vocal ranges within Bangtan’s vocal line.

ALL 4 THEM have struggled with it. 

ALL 4 THEM have had their voices crack during one of the high or normal notes.

Taehyung was unable to sing half of his lines in it during the Europe Tour when HE got sick last year & cried. And today it happened to Jimin.

And we’re only half-way into the tour.

After Brazil they have the Europe leg of the tour (where I’ve already seen a few announcements of places they got invited to perform in between, which means less time to rest), then they will go back to Korea for Festa, The Muster AND LETS NOT FORGET the filming of Bon Voyage S4.

After that its the Japan leg of the tour and then, because this is Bangtan, we might have another comeback before the year ends.

This stadium tour (although its a huge achievement for them) is already too over-packed with 25 or more songs to perform in a span of 2 to 3 hours. If I were BH I would have added all the songs from the new album and just focus on promoting/emphasizing those while keeping their individual solos, the Medley and the Encore.

But I’m not BH, I’m just another fan among many billions of fans that can only watch from the sidelines, frustrated that we can’t do more for them (not even attend their concerts EVER, or even buy most of the official merch since its not available to us), only listen to their songs/streaming on Spotify, Youtube, Soundcloud ect.

Alexa, play Nobody’s_listening.mp3

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

on tour economics: lewis capaldi is touring europe atm and his tickets are even cheaper than louis’ (30€ per ticket; venue sizes around 3000-4000 ppl) ... so I’m guessing there’s a way to make touring worth it even with cheap prices ...

I think there are some key differences between the way Lewis Capaldi is touring and the way Louis is touring - and it’s those differences that I wonder about.

Louis is doing 6 dates in mainland Europe in 10 days.  Lewis Capldi scheduled (and the fact that he’s not doing them all is relevant and we’ll come back to later) 18 in 23 days.  They’re covering about the same ground - they’re both playing Spain to the West, Scandanvia to the North and Lewis Capaldi is going further East to Vienna.

Lewis Capaldi is getting more money out of the territory as a whole and has more gigs to spread the cost of travelling the distances around Europe.  He also has a higher ratio of gigs to rest days. And you still have to pay the entire touring party’s accommodation (and I assume wages - but I’m not sure how payments work and if they work differently for different parts of a touring party) on rest days without any income. If you look at Lewis Capaldi’s schedule in general you see that it’s both intense and esculating. He’s got an opening and he’s taking it - working really hard to build to the next thing.

Louis isn’t, and shouldn’t, tour like that. Lewis Capaldi just cancelled three gigs, because he’s too sick to perform. I’m really glad that he’s not building in breaks or touring forever. He’s also probably spending more than Lewis Capaldion things like transport and accommodation, because he’s used to being a multimillionaire. But low ticket prices, the pace earned by a veteran, and reasonably small venues a long way apart, are not a licence to print money.

I would like to know more about the decisions behind this tour and where the money comes from (probably merch).  They have very good data about where fans are, so I’m sure there are good reasons to make the decisions they do, I would just be really interested in the decision making process

[quercussp]

Brotherly

Rating: G

Word count: 1.7k

Summary: Martyn has a text conversation with his mother while on tour.

Authors note: This fic is dedicated to @waveydnp, who wanted something soft and fluffy on the bus. I'm sorry that it's not exactly what you asked for, it just sort of happened. I hope you like it. An enormous thank you to my two amazing betas @terpia and @megiaolf, who are both angels.

Warnings: very brief reference to bullying and homophobia.

[read on ao3]

Sunlight is peaking through the blinds on the windows, making the small table Martyn has set up his laptop on look as though it is painted in luminescent stripes. It is still pretty early, but most of the crew is riding in a separate car ahead of them to help set up the show and Dan, Phil and Marianne are still asleep, so the only thing that can be heard is the steady rumbling of the bus engine and the soft sound of the radio that the driver is listening to.

They are driving through what seems to be an endless sequence of fields, sometimes interrupted by a river or a small patch of trees. As someone who grew up in England, Martyn always finds the sheer amount of space in America a bit suffocating. As they drive down endless highways, he can’t help but think that nowhere in Europe can he see so much sky and nothing else. It’s a weird feeling.

Martyn is going through his emails, sending notes to the venues about merch stands and going over the final details of the schedule when he hears his phone vibrate next to him. As he unlocks it, he sees a notification from “mum”. It makes Martyn automatically smile. Because of the time difference he rarely gets to chat with his parents while they are touring, and call him a momma’s boy, but he genuinely misses the opportunity to talk with them every couple of days.

Hello child! - reads the message.

Hi - he answers quickly. As soon as he sends the message, he sees three dots appear. He waits for his mother to finish typing.

How are you, child? Did you sleep well? Are you eating properly?

Martyn starts typing out his reply, smiling. He might be 35 years old, but his mother still worries about him as though he is a rebellious teenager.

***

So how’s my youngest child doing? - Kathryn asks.

Martyn and his mum have been texting for about an hour and he has told her about the weird rash he has on his leg from a questionable sunscreen he used and about the presents he bought Cornelia. Kath has told him all about the recipe she tried out at dinner yesterday and about his aunts recovery from surgery and how his father got a very unfortunate haircut.

As he reads the text asking about Phil, he can clearly picture her face at that moment. Her expression is still happy and warm, but there is a slight wrinkle between her eyebrows and the corners of her mouth go down slightly. This is the “worried mum” face that Martyn is extremely closely acquainted with. He knows that even though she talks to Phil constantly, she worries about him. Especially when they are doing something as big and as difficult as this tour.

Martyn is immediately brought back to all the times when she would direct that question at him years before. He remembers her worried face when she would ask Martyn if he knew why Phil isn’t properly talking to her or his father. He remembers her sending Martyn to talk to Phil and coming in to see his teenage brother curled up into a tiny miserable ball on the bed. He looked so small and vulnerable, that Martyn always just wanted to wrap him up and hide him away from the world. Instead, he would sit on the bed and wait. In the end, Phil always opened up to Martyn. It would take time and delicate prodding, but Phil trusted Martyn with his life, and Martyn has never treated that responsibility lightly.

He remembers Phil telling him about kids at school being mean to him, and Martyn shaking in silent rage. His brother was odd and quirky, but he was also creative and kind and from a very early age exhumed a light that no one could match. He got excited about the weirdest things, he would try to make friends with everyone around him, from police officers to classmates to trash bins and trees. He always was trying to create something new and exciting, and his eyes would always shine with enthusiasm and light. The fact that there were people who wanted to hurt him for being different made Martyn pray with all his might to whatever powers commanded the universe that his brother wouldn’t get mistreated by life. That he would find someone who understands that wonder that he has and who would appreciate him for the adorable weirdo he is. Who would wrap him up in love and let him be himself.

He remembers talking to Phil on a break from his second year of university, them sitting on the couch playing Final Fantasy while their parents were out of the house, when Phil quietly whispered “I think I like boys” amidst the noises from the game. He remembers looking over to Phil in surprise and seeing his face, scared and confused and anxious, and his eyes begging Martyn to understand. He honestly hadn’t known how to react, but looking at his younger brother’s fearful eyes, he had vowed to himself to never make Phil afraid to tell him something again, so he had just smiled and murmured “okay” and continued playing.

They talked more about it over the years, and if anything, that shared secret brought them even closer together.

He remembers when Rob died, getting a phone call from Phil and rushing to see him at his house he shared with his roommates, just to find Phil curled up and crying, alone and absolutely heartbroken. He remembers thinking to himself that even though Phil is no longer a small kid, but instead a tall and big adult, how he wishes he could scoop him up and protect him from this pain. If only that was possible.

He remembers Phil telling him over the phone in a shaky voice that he has a boyfriend. Dan. That he loves him so much and he is really scared of telling his parents.

And he also remembers the tears his mother shed after he did tell them, and his father’s shock and confusion. He knows both Kath and Nigel deeply regret how they reacted then. Even though both of them were just incredibly worried about another thing that made their youngest kid more different and vulnerable, and didn’t know how to deal with wanting the best for your child. they hurt Phil deeply and it’s still something none of them like to bring up.

But their relationship is good right now. Solid. Close. He wonders why she is asking him all of a sudden, and doesn’t just talk to Phil himself. He knows she is worried because Phil has been really stressed lately, tired from the tour and constantly meeting people and making decisions taking a serious a toll on him.

He’s ok.

Why don’t you ask him yourself? - he asks her.

I have been but he isn’t answering! He is always either busy or eating. And you know he can’t type and eat at the same time. She accompanies the message with one of those huge spinning smiling emojis, and Martyn quietly chuckles at the obnoxious thing. I haven’t heard from him in days. Tell him to talk to me.

Let me go get him - Martyn answers. It’s 9 am already and they will be at their next stop in less than an hour, so Martyn doesn’t feel that bad about waking Phil up. And also, not answering your mother’s texts is a punishable offense in the Lester family anyway, so Phil deserves to be woken up. He needs to get out of bed at some point anyway.

He leans down to open up the curtain to Phil’s bunk and is met with a somewhat familiar picture. Phil is curled up in a tight ball, eyes closed and breathing evenly, his face looking young and peaceful and so vulnerable, that Martyn feels the familiar protectiveness rise up in his chest.

What’s different is that instead of being alone, Phil is now wrapped in big broad arms of his partner. Martyn can only guess that Dan has climbed down from his bunk during the night, and is now sleeping crammed into the wall of the bus, holding Phil tightly in his arms, with his leg thrown over Phil’s legs, and his face buried into Phil’s messy black hair. Scooping him up and holding him as close as humanly possible. Covering him almost totally. Hiding him away from the world.

Martyn smiles softly at the scene. His brother is no longer a small chubby child, no longer an awkward teenager. By every definition, he is a grown man. A very big one in fact. Influential, rich, talented. He is also very tall. Taller than Martyn. Who would have guessed that out of all the people on the planet, Phil would find someone even bigger and taller, someone who makes him look small and fragile when they lie in a cramped bunk together.

He probably will never stop worrying about his brother all together, but now he has Dan who worries with him. Who appreciates Phil for exactly who he is, and loves everything that makes him weird. Someone who has Phil’s love and who cherishes it and protects it as the most valuable thing in the world. Who has helped Phil turn from a gangly insecure kid into a confident, happy and successful man. A man who is living his dream and giving so much happiness to people around him.

Martyn will deny this if ever asked, but he feels so proud of his baby brother.

He doesn’t have the heart to wake them. But he does take a picture. He sends it to his mother with the caption

Sorry to tell you, but your youngest child seems to be held captive by an enormous curly haired giant. We might never see him again:)

Tell them both I love them - she texts back. After a pause she sends another message:

Take care of them, ok? Both of them. They look tired.

I’m so glad they have each other. And that the bunks are big enough ;)

Martyn chuckles, but can’t help agree. He thinks to himself that whatever powers he used to pray to have been incredibly kind.

Love you, mum - he texts back and goes back to work. He still has a million things to do before they arrive. He will make Phil feel guilty for sleeping in later. He really does need the sleep.

[diaryofasupergroupie]

Groupie 101 - Backstage

I get asked questions on a daily basis. Some questions I get asked more than others. This blog has changed from me writing my experiences to giving you aspiring groupies help! I want to give you what you want. The most requested was what to wear – see Groupie 101 – The Look. As I started as I meant to go on it’s time to address the second thing I get questions about almost on a daily basis. Now you have the groupie look it’s time to actually get in and backstage. This sounds a lot easier than it is, or a lot harder. Which one honestly depends on your mood and how long you have spent getting ready.

I know all of the tips and tricks to get backstage and I’m going to share them with you. What makes me qualified? I have hardly paid entry into a gig for five years. In this I want to talk about actual gigs. Festivals are very hard to get into without connections because of how tight security is and at most festivals Access All Areas is non-existent. As I said before gigs are where most girls get into the scene and the easiest way to make a name for yourself.

In my experience there are a handful of ways you can get backstage. Some of them involve you paying entry and some of them you can get in for free. These are all tried and tested, but by no means the only ways. I know a band who for a while would pin point a girl in the crowd and throw their drink on her to let the roadies know she was coming backstage. That happens a lot – pinpointing girls, not throwing drinks on them. These are however the main ways I have seen pulled off or have done myself, actually I’ve done them all besides two.

The prep method

This one is fairly easy to understand but a whole lot more difficult with bigger bands. But if you’re one for micro-managing everything then it may be an option. The concept of this is doing the prep. You work hard before which can end with you getting either All Access or guest listed. Bare in mind those two aren’t the same thing despite popular belief. Getting All Access means you get given a fancy pass that lets you come and go as you please assuming you don’t lose your sticker or laminate. You can wonder backstage and out on the floor. But when you have been guest listed you have your name down on the list and get free entry. This doesn’t always mean you get backstage, although they know who you are so it’s a start.

In practice it is a lot easier to do now. When I started the only social media most people used myspace, occasionally Facebook but we weren’t as good at finding musicians profiles as we are now. Besides those angles totally throw you off. I prefer organic meetings, over message I can come across badly especially to Americans. Sarcasm is my talent and Americans in my experience either find it endearing or become offended. There’s no in between. It’s unlikely when you start you will be able to get their number. Some musicians are more known for using certain social media sites. Someone I’m seeing right now is only just getting into Instagram, Facebook has been his favourite for years. The first step is to ask around, see if you can find out which site they use the most. Then you’ll want to make sure you’re happy with your profile. Remember your icon is the first thing they’ll see! A younger more famous band I know will decline or accept girls purely on their icon, they won’t even read the message. Once your profile is good it’s time to message them. The best bet is direct message and liking some photos. They’ll keep seeing your name and get curious to know what you’re all about. Do a little research. Don’t open with ‘I love your band, can I come backstage’. They’ll label you as a crazed fan which is not what you are. You’re a fan but you’re a groupie. Say hello and talk about somewhere they’ve recently been or something they’re passionate about. Certain musicians love to talk about their music and themselves, just not right away. Start a conversation first. Then finally when you have some flow you can mention your city. If they’re into it whether or not they have sex or something more platonic in mind they may offer to guest list or AAA you. If they don’t remember you can ‘bump’ into them later, they now know who you are.

Prep is popular. A lot of the younger girls are very good at it, they can find anyone and talk their way in. There’s no script, you have to judge it and then bring up different things for different people. The situation is flipped if you’ve already hooked up or met your musician. If you’ve hooked up they might have your number saved. If they want to hook up again then you’ll probably get a ‘hey babe’ text. But don’t be scared to text them saying you haven’t spoken to them for a while. Remember though, don’t send nudes. If you do I guarantee the rest of the band, the crew and other girls have seen it. I’ve seen so many boobs its unreal. I say I haven’t done this before but even though it isn’t my style I do partake. There was a festival I was lusting after and I shot someone a text asking if he’d definitely put me on the list to get my pass. Bands travel so much they often forget what they’ve actually promised. Often they don’t want to admit they’d forgotten so say yes and then sort it. This works if you’ve only briefly met them or if you haven’t but can message them pretending. ‘I can’t wait to see you again. I haven’t seen you since your gig in X when you played with Z’. Usually works if you can pull it off. 

The charm method

This one I love and I became good at through the years. There’s minimal prep involved and some of the tips from above can roll over. This involves being very charming or flirty, whichever you prefer. For this one you can either arrive early and try to catch one of the band or crew. You can be your charming self and score a pass. Or you can pay entry and then look out for one of the crew. The band will usually be backstage to ready themselves or will be partying. The roadies might be on the floor as will the tour manager. The merch is always good. Stand by the merch table and talk to keep them company when they’re bored. Learn their names and what they’re into if you can. It’s all about being interested in them. People say good personalities don’t get you backstage. But in my experience a good personality is everything. Be funny, sweet and show them you want to have a good time. Let that passion for the music and the scene shine in your beautiful eyes. When they offer you a pass say thank you and don’t let them know they’ve just given you the world. It’ll be our secret.

I said some things roll over, these are those things. You can blag your way backstage. Research is your best friend, this kind of prep I don’t mind. Find the tour manager if you can. Walk over to him and hug him. Call him by his name and tell him how good it is to see him. You haven’t seen him since X. Are they still backstage? Great! Walk back there. Maybe they’ll give you a pass or maybe they’ll wave you through. Do you know how much a tour manager has on their mind? They’ve probably met hundreds that week. They won’t remember you, but they might be too embarrassed to tell you that! To get backstage you need balls. I’ve done this a ton, trust me if you do it right you’re laughing.

The sister method

This is a method you won’t be able to do right away. You need to know some of the girls. As much as the girls are often bickering and put against each other once you find your little clique you will stick together. There’s always drama in the scene. Usually it’s because someone talked about someone or they stole someone’s man. Very trivial and high school. When you know some of the girls you’ll find they think of you. Talk to them all the time and become close friends. Then when they end up at sound check they’ll grab you a pass. But remember to do the same for them. Get them in places you land into. It’s called the sister method for a reason! Look after your own! We often travel together. This is probably the method which I have seen the most. It is a little more advanced though and if you’re not in the scene might be impossible. But wait around after gigs and try to make connections.

 Despite this title it doesn’t have to be just the girls. Security can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Make sure you talk to them and take time to get to know them. How they respond can depend on where in the world you are. I found Europe security a little rude. But if you get to know them very well they may let you in, they may even let you backstage. The latter only usually happens though after years of seeing you misbehaving yourself. 

The sneak back method

This one is another tried and tested. I have written about this in one of my first ever posts. I said getting backstage takes balls and god this is the most ballsy method. Before I explain remember the worst that can happen is you get kicked out. They can’t call the police for sneaking backstage – at least not where I am. There are a few ways you can sneak back. You can wait until there are large crowds or someone makes a scene. This will distract security and allow you chance to slip back. This is something you can do no matter the band. Although if the venue is huge there will be more security and it’ll be harder. Due to terrorist attacks security has got tighter here. Watch security, wait until they’re occupied. Then take your chance, you may only get one. If the venue is smaller you may have a slightly better chance.

The other option is to play the long game. I have only ever seen this done successfully that didn’t end with someone being kicked out a handful of times. It’s difficult and I’ve never done it to a venue bigger than a shoebox. You show up and the venue early and sneak in. You can pretend to work there or just climb through a window, I’ve seen both done. I was backstage once and went to the toilet to find a girl hiding in there. She had climbed through a window and been there ever since. I was so impressed I vouched for her. Again, impossible at large venues and a method I semi don’t recommend.

The band whore method

This last one I was at a loss at what exactly to call. It is a method I have never done although nothing against those that have. It isn’t something band whores do exactly, but there was no other way to politely say suck off the crew. It is something which I have seen work time and again. You pick your best bet and then you perform your heart out. After you’ve put in the work if you don’t get a backstage pass I would be very upset. Building a reputation doing that will often get you on the list but you have to decide if you want that kind of reputation. I never did. I’m not a snob but I was there for the music. I still am. I eat, sleep and breathe the music. I didn’t want to suck off the merch guy and then kiss the drummer with the same mouth. But if you want to then go and do what you want to do! Just remember it’s very easy to get a reputation but very hard to lose one. I’m not talking about just happening to hook up with the roadies either. As I said, I’m not a snob. The crew work themselves to the bone without their face on a t-shirt. I’m talking about using them as a stepping stone. But whatever you feel compelled to do!

Now this isn’t a method as such. But it is something I want to go over before I answer a few questions. I say a lot things are different now and boys are a lot more careful. A lot of girls want to get into the scene but are fairly young, or at least younger than what is defined as legal in your country or state. Allegations have got people into some bad situations within the last few years. Tour managers are protective of their band and are almost like dads. I’ve mentioned they often ask for ID and I think some people have gotten the wrong idea. They don’t always ask for ID to get backstage. They ask for ID if you look underage and are going to sleep with the band. They do it to protect their band, sex with an underage girl is bad for business. But if they want you to party before bus call they may or may not ask for ID. It’s best to come prepared. I’m not condoning underage sex at all. Wait, please. They’re not always what you think they will be. Besides if you’re under 18 and they’re old enough to be your dad it’s probably a bad idea. Same goes for can an hour together send him to jail? Probably not the brightest of ideas.

Q&A

What happens if I get caught sneaking backstage?

The majority of the time you’ll be told off and given a warning. But you may get kicked out. I’ve never heard of anyone being arrested – I’m not sure what they would even charge you with!

Have you ever been kicked out?

More times than I care to admit! Not for a few years though. But you can’t let that stop you. The music is everything remember.

Should I get a fake ID?

That’s up to you! Why are you getting one? If it’s to get in venues then go for it but if it’s to hook up and cause jail time after you’ve put it on social media hold off. A few years won’t hurt.

Will they accept a student ID?

That depends on what it is. If its school ID possibly not, they may see school and then reject it right away. Is it a University ID? Then you’ll be at least over 18 and it should be fine! However it depends on where you live and the security/tour manager. Message me with your country/state for more details!

What message do I send to X?

I’m not sure! Send me some details about them and what platform you’re reaching out on and I’ll help the best I can.

Anymore questions or things I have left out or not been specific enough? Message me and I’ll be happy to answer! – K

[hes-woman]

Home Again

part one part two extra

"Yeah, I'm good, mum, how's things at home?" You asked, phone wedged in between your shoulder and your ear as you continued to tidy the kitchen, "I'll come visit before I leave. But get dad to ring me still, yeah? I might not get the chance to come down for a few days," you paused when the doorbell rang, a small frown on your face s you tried to think of who it could be, "Sorry, there's someone at the door. Can I ring you back in a bit?"

You began walking towards the front door as you ended the conversation with your mum, adjusting the hoodie you were wearing so it covered your bum. Swinging open the door, you came face to face with Harry, a smirk on his face, "Seems like I forgot to take my keys with me, can you let me in?"

Your jaw dropped as you realised he was actually stood in front of you, instinctively moving forward and wrapping your arms around his shoulder as his own encircled your waist. He moved the two of you into the house and kicked the door shut with his foot, keeping a tight grip on you as if you were about to disappear.

"I've missed you. So, so much," he whispered, his forehead meeting your shoulder as he took his bag off of his shoulder and dropped it into the floor.

"I've missed you too, H. M'not letting you leave me again. Not even for a second."

He pulled back slightly, hands coming to rest on your shoulders as he held you a few inches away from you, looking at you properly for the first time since he'd arrived home.

"Was scared you were gonna look really pregnant."

"Would that be a bad thing?"

"No, not like that. Just wanted to be here to see you get bigger an' that. I didn't wanna miss any of that. Wanted to document it properly, as well, with pictures to look back on."

"You haven't missed anything, promise," you smiled.

His hand reached out to cup your chin, pulling you towards him lightly as he pressed his lips to yours.

"I can't believe you're here," you grinned when he pulled away, "I was meant to be the one surprising you, though. Seems like Jeffrey was playing us both, just worked out that your plan was set before mine," you pouted, grabbing his hand in yours and pulling him towards the folding doors which overlooked the garden.

"Didn't mean to ruin your plans, babe, forgive me?" He asked, the innocent look on his face causing you to nod and turn around momentarily to kiss him, "s'this mean you're coming with me when I leave for Argentina?"

"That's the plan. Spoke to work and they said that I can have the time off, as long as I do the same amount of work I did when we were in Europe. They liked the fact I got so much of my own writing done, as well, and they thought that seeing so many different cultures will have a positive impact on the work I'm producing and let me have a good understanding of books set in countries with different traditions n'that."

"Still haven't shown me what you've been writing, y'know."

"You'll just have to wait until it's finished," you smirked, "'sides, I had to wait for your album to be finished before I was allowed to listen to it."

"Fair point," he rested his arm over your shoulder and kissed the side of your forehead.

"It's a shame the nice weather didn't last long, would've been nice to have a swim together. Leo's been loving it, he's a proper water pup," you laughed.  

"I did think the house seemed a little quiet, where is the little menace?"

"Signed him up to a dog walking thing. I felt a bit bad that I've been so busy trying to get everything sorted before I left so I thought it'd be nice for him to go and be with other dogs for a bit. He'll be back soon and I'm sure he'll be very excited to see you, been whining at the front foor since you left."

"M'glad you two keep each other company while I'm away. Come on, then, I wanna see all these changes you've been making."

"It's not much, just a few bits and bobs," you shrugged, heading back towards the kitchen to continue the tidying you were doing before Harry had arrived.

"I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. You've been working, looking after a dog, carrying a baby and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Anything else you've done on top of that is amazing. Anyway, we'll have a few months to make it feel homey before we have a baby on our hands."

"That will have to wait until we're back. We've got a lot to fit in over the next few days, y'know? Your mum will definitely want to see you, and Gem, too. We could do with getting all your clothes washed before we leave, too, 'cause I imagine you wanna take a lot of it with you again. Packings gonna take quite a long time, on top of that. Would be nice to pop in and see Grim at some point. I told my mum I'd go and see her, as well, but I can always go on my own and drop Leo off at the same time, though."

"Is he not staying with Gem and Michal?"

"Gem's away for a bit over the next month or so, and Michal did offer to still have him but it's nearly double the amount of time as when they had him for the first leg of the tour. I just thought it'd be easier for mum and dad to have him, 'cause they're at home a lot of the time, anyway. They love having him, too."

"'Course I'll come with you, you donut. I'm sure we'll figure some way to fit everything in, we can even double some things up if we need to. But tonight, I want you all to myself. We can satisfy your cravings for Chinese food and maybe watch a film or that tv show you've been telling me about."

"You know me too well."

*

"I'm still gutted I didn't get to surprise you. The look on your face would've been priceless."

The two of you were sprawled out across the L-shaped sofa, your head on his chest and a worn-out dog curled up at your feet. The credits of an old rom-com (which the two of you had paid little attention to) played on the tv screen, remnants of Chinese food lazily piled on the coffee table in front of you.

"You’re always surprising me, seems only fair that I get to reciprocate the gesture every once in a while."

"I know, but you've been quite down recently and I just wanted to see you happy."

"M'happy just being with you. Don't need you surprising me in another country to be happy, just need you."

"It's crazy how we've spent months at a time apart, but when it comes to a couple of weeks we can't handle it, innit?"

"It's 'cause we're starting a proper family, now. There's more for me to miss this time around, and your coping with new hormones and experiences. Probably doesn't help that we were so used to travelling country to country together for a month, spending practically every minute of every day together, and then we could only see each other through a screen."

You hummed in response, "Shall we go up to bed soon? I'd quite like to have a proper cuddle, even if we put something on the telly instead of going to sleep straight away."

He nodded, accepting the hand you offered him to help pull him up from his slouched position. The two of you made your way up the stairs, grabbing water bottles and locking doors as you went. It wasn't long before Harry was sprawled out on the bed, while you stood in front of the mirror to take off your makeup, clad in your underwear, which you'd soon swap out for a t-shirt from Harry's wardrobe.

"Definitely think you've got a little bit of a bump."

"It's way too early for that, H, won't be showing for at least another six weeks, probably more like eight. Just haven't had you here stopping me from eating a load of junk food and preparing healthy meals for me."

"S'that mean we can keep it our secret for a while still, then?"

"Yeah, we won’t need to make it public knowledge for a while yet. Only people close to us will notice small changes, but they all know anyway. Definitely think we should wait until we at least know the gender, but I'll be able to wear baggy shirts for a while, especially when I'm in the crowd 'cause I can just throw on a merch top and say I could only find one in a big size, or something. It's up to us, to a certain extent, unless there's a slip-up along the line or someone sees something they aren't supposed to. I think I'd like to make it to twenty-weeks, at least, and then I'm happy to announce it whenever you want. It'd be nice to do it on our own terms, though, and I don’t wanna have to try too hard to hide it, so I don’t think we should drag it out for too long."

"Twenty-weeks it is. Where will we be?"

"At home, I'm not even seven weeks yet," you laughed, lifting the corner of the duvet and shuffling underneath, "Don’t be alarmed if you hear me wake up, it's just morning sickness so you can just go back to sleep."

"M'not just gonna go back to sleep, you nutter," he rolled his eyes, raising his arm so you could rest your head on his chest, receiving nothing other than a small hum in response.  

It was quiet for a while, just the sounds of both yours and Harry's breathing filling the room. Sometimes, when he'd just arrived home, it was nice for you two to just be in each other's company, with no need to fill the silence with meaningless. It was possible for the both of you to talk for hours about anything and everything, from what you'd eaten for breakfast to what him and Jeff had spoken about before he left, but it was the moments just soaking in the fact that you were actually together that were your favourite.

"It's good to have you back, H. The three of us have missed you lots, and it's been particularly quiet without you here, rambling on about some smoothie you'd just tried from the new shop down the round. I'm looking forward to being back on tour, as well. It's one of the best feelings to see you in your element, and the atmosphere is unlike any other event I've been to. I'm really, really proud of you, you know that, right?" You lifted your head to look up at him, noticing that he had the biggest grin on his face.

"It helps when you say it a lot."

"This is turning you on, isn't it? We really need to get your praise kink in check, Styles."

[kitwilsonsass]

Since I’ve been putting it off due to lingering sicky feels, etc.

Here’s the far too long and far too unedited and written at 4am vacation rundown NO ONE ASKED FOR! (huzzah!)

So, yeah. I arrived at the new Amtrak station in the city which is a major upgrade from the trailer park reject of station the old one was. Way roomier. Could use a coffee stand or something but yeah. Improvement. Had to go underground under the tracks and back up to get to the very cold surface, it must suck in the winter.

About an hour, hour and a half into the trip I quickly realized that a.) all I wanted to do was sleep, and b.) that my throat was burning. I assumed this was due to the absurdly cold, non-stop dry ass air conditioning, but no. This bitch got sick for her entire trip. On the plus side I had the seats to myself for the majority of the trip, but still. I barely watched any CR or anything because I was miserable the entire time. Ya don’t wanna be miserable for 10+ hours on a train.

Got to Boston, to @conniecorleone‘s frightening apartment stairs. My bag was way too heavy and she troopered through taking it up them for me without dying. So if you ever need a tank in battle, call Rachel.

Hung out a little. Ordered some Five Guys. Watched a couple episodes of the first season of American Horror Story. I get the appeal but also never needed to see Dermot Mulroney’s ass.

Rach was busy with work stuff a lot early in the week, not helped by some dumbass school shooting threat the week before and kept apologizing while still going above and beyond as a hostess while I just felt guilty for getting snot on her sheets.

Day two I colored a bit. I can do a wicked water gradient with erasable colored pencils, for the record. Hung out. Relaxed. Used a lot of Zicam and Advil. Then we were on way to The Middle East for her conehead space boyfriend.

We waited like, an hour? In the chilly mist outside? The show started like AN HOUR LATE after that. The venue was nice but man, the mood was getting close to dead at points, especially since, again, FUCKIN SICK. But Planet Booty came on and while, a little on the bordering too raunchy side, put on a fucking amazing live show. Dylan has an absurd amount of energy that should be bottled and sold, but if it were it might result in the orgypocalypse. I saw a youtube comment that said he’s ‘very touchy lol’ and truer words never spoken. That man will grind on you and sing directly in your earlobe with his tongue if you are front row and happily, I was not. Yet somehow I still ended up with his sweat on my sweater sleeve thanks to someone being a dumbass and high fiving him after their set and not being able to handle the consequences. Ahem.

THEN TWRP TOOK LIKE ANOTHER GODDAMN HALF HOUR???

But I FORGIVE THEM because they were GREAT and played Daft Punk’s Celebrate in honor of motherfuckin Canadian Thanksgiving so... fine... I guess. My only complaint is they didn’t do The Perfect Product even though I get that’s probably a weird thing to do live. Also minimal keytar and Sung almost decapitated himself but you know... it happens. They DID do Tactile Sensation though which is a fucking jam. And Atomic Karate, ofc. And Meouch broke his fucking bass string which is like? Fucking hardcore? He came down like a foot away from us at one point. It was dope. They’re amazing live and have no right to be for dudes in ridiculous robot costumes playing synth in the year 2018 and rolling around stage on a hoverboard. Sadly I brought minimal memory cardage this year and didn’t get a lot of good video of them.

Afterwards, despite *someone* almost passing out, we hung out in the merch lines and did NOT accidentally cut ahead this time. I got a free signed poster because it was my birthday vacation ayyyyy and bought a couple EPs and the Together Through Time album. Then hopped over the PB’s line and got two hugs from Dylan who hung out and talked to/hugged/got selfies with every single person who got into line there and just? Good dude. Pure dude. Awful stache but... thumbs up human being. I got their Naked album and we headed out back to the apartment and some delivered Dominos (which was the only good Dominos I’ve ever had in my life.)

Day three I accidentally slept until like 4pm. Literally what else did we do that day? I cannot remember for the life of me. We might have went to Dunkin at like 9pm and she showed me a weird omnipotent plastic ear hanging on an electric wire? Was that this day? I have no fucking idea. Her Netflix and supply of Puffs tissues were my best friends this trip okay.

Day four she went to class and I relaxed and intended to walk to the mall. Unfortunately, my sick bleh hit and I didn’t feel up to going until about ten minutes before she got back. So we ended up heading over there together. I made her try Baja Blast, as is customary in my nation, and got her to try some green matte lipstick. Success. I was highkey hoping they would have a Build-A-Bear in the joint but they didn’t. They did have a Newbury though, that had the six-inch Roadhog pop which I’ve had a hard time finding locally, so I said fuck it and bought it.

That night was MST3k live! The theater was old as dirt. The kind of old as dirt where the flooring is bowing in. They had real strict rules on cameras and shit, which I get for the sake of spoilers but c’mon.... c’mon. Their merch sucked unfortunately though, so I didn’t waste any money on anything (for some reason they had 2017 tour stuff? It’s... not 2017?). The show itself was good, though I was wondering before it started how sick they must get of doing the same movie in different towns almost every other night. Pretty quickly realized oh, yeah, a lot of this show was likely pre-riffed. They did pull a kid from the stage at one point so he could guest riff off a script from Joel, which I’m thinking was a clever little insert fraction of the riff they did live between segments. I could be wrong, but on that front, it felt a little cheap. But it was still fun to see the boys and the bots live and have jokes cracked about not being able to afford the villains for the tour. And The Brain itself was........ I don’t know what I was expecting but..... it sure was.... something. The novelty was worth it and I will still gladly marry Crow T. Robot.

We went across the street to a little pub stop that was I think called Rock Bottom after that and got some much needed late night food. For some reason my brain was like “man, I could go for chicken fried steak right now” and don’t you know IT WAS ON THE FUCKIN MENU? WITH GARLIC CHEDDER MASHED POTATOES? Boston, much like with wings, does not know what country gravy is, but it was still everything I fucking wanted and did not expect to find, so A+. Also I was wearing a dress with shorts underneath it and stuck to the goddamn stool. Such is life.

Day five was rainy and miserable. I tagged along to university with Rach and it sucked, honestly. Being on a campus makes me feel awkward and the whole still being sick thing didn’t help. I ended up taking a walk way around the block to a Starbucks and getting the worst fucking frap I’ve ever paid too much money for. Went back around. Sat in the library. Felt even shittier. Started googling food places. Yard House wasn’t far but I didn’t want to deal with crossing a lot of traffic, especially if the rain started back up (it did, with a vengeance). So I ended up back around the block at some Olive Garden-esque fake Italian place with not an Italian in sight called Bertucci’s for some bland chicken-less fettuchini alfredo (because, as I’d reasoned with myself, I had chicken three times the day before). It was dimly lit, I had a booth to myself, and the water had the sweet skullet and braided beard combo I had liveblogged. People kept complimenting my tattoo. It was nice and no one seemed overly bothered that I was clearly killing time until I spent probably way too long in the restroom after trying to look alive. I tipped the dude ten bucks and left in the pouring rain with my umbrella.

From her school we took the world’s longest Uber to Parts Fucking Unknown in awful traffic and rain to find a Double Tree where @freakishlytallaustralian‘s parents were staying for a hot minute during their brief little US tour on their way to Europe. I’ve never met Mandi in person, but I’ve now met her parents who say she’s gotten to know a good bloke. She looks exactly like her mom. They were sweet. Anxious but sweet. And I am a freak who doesn’t talk and was sick trying to seem presentable at the bare minimum capacity.

Back ~home~ we ordered some JP Licks ice cream (BROWNIE BROWNIE BATTER!!! BROWNIE. BROWNIE. BATTER.), I watched CR and some stupid videos on the internet with her. Got some sleep. Sort of. Barely.

Despite Matt Mercer nearly succeeding at lulling me to sleep and eating my dreams, it didn’t happen, and I could not get comfortable for the life of me. The “coughing every five seconds in bed” started this night and was not having mercy. So I opted out of another day of hanging around campus to try and get some more rest. It didn’t really work, but I did eventually get a solid three hours or so, so it was something.

As the day progressed it was onward to the Science Museum to meet Ron the T-Rex. There was a wedding happening. How appropriate, for Bravier funko pops to have come along on the day of a blessed union. Coincidence? I think not. A turtle kept falling off a branch when he was trying to nap. There was some space stuff. It wasn’t great. But I got a little stuffed dinosaur and that’s Important.

From there we hit up the same movie theater we went to the year before and saw Bad Times At The El Royale. Do recommend. Chris Hemsworth as a Charles Manson was not something I ever thought I’d see, and I still don’t understand it, but it rather predictably works for me, so we’ll leave it at that. Good movie, good performances, good pacing and editing that could have easily not been. See it, it’s fun. Not perfect, but fun.

It was COLD AS BALLS after the movie and neither of us brought jackets or sweaters, so the walk to the train station and back ~home~ was a chilly one. We stopped in, got some warmth, and headed down the road past her old place to a bar. If we didn’t appreciate TWRP and PB enough already, the band she had to pay cover for us to get in for just to pick up food were about 8 upper middle aged men playing every instrument in the book. Afropunk, they said. No, we said. Offkey, we said. This place was dark as shit and loud as shit but you know what? They KNEW WHAT REAL, HOT CHICKEN WINGS WERE and for that, I am appreciative dammit.

Went back, got some more Dominos, and was finally introduced to John Mulaney’s (or two of) comedy specials. He’s genius and I *understand* it now, tumblr. I get it. We ate way too much and did my laundry.

The week had come and gone way too soon and I felt robbed of my good time by how shitty I felt. Hopping on the train the next day (after a godawful uber ride) was just as depressing as the time before. And even though I didn’t feel as miserable as the trip there, and once again had a window seat to myself, I found myself curled up against my hoodie crying trying to fall asleep again knowing I was already headed back home.

Once the initial depression passed, the trip wasn’t bad. The iced latte was good. The Albany stop not as confusing the second time around. The WiFi kept me company. Eventually my aunt texted me asking if I wanted to hit up Stevie T’s on the way home because they were 24hr and neither of us had eaten all night. It was a plan. Get off, get food, come home, faceplant on my own big comfy bed, vow to deal with my dad’s drama in the morning and call it a night.

Then *that* happened. Yeah. Last year? Every stop, regardless of time of night, they made announcements. They came by, checked the marker above your seat, and if you were due off at the next stop told you it was coming up, would help with luggage if needed, and directed you to the correct door to exit the train. This year? Nothing. They decided to stop making announcements right before the Rochester stop, and no one came by in our car to tell us where to get off. Stopped, myself and the other person due off at that stop, a late-teens girl, went to the door at the front of our car where every other stop had gotten off before us. We assumed since no one said differently, and no attendants were around, that must be it. We were idiots. Because by the time we realized hey, they’re not going to open this door and we should go to the far other end of the train, it was already moving again en route to Buffalo.

We found ourselves in the dining booths by the cafe car while the staff made vague remarks and the conductor acted like it wasn’t his problem. My aunt on the phone talked to the Rochester station, we tried to claim I didn’t even have a reservation until about two other people looked up my ticket. They said it was up to the conductor to get us a cab home, he laughed at us, claimed to know nothing about any of that, and asked if were were going to buy the bus tickets the other girl was looking up. The bus for 3am, in downtown Buffalo, nowhere near the station. When we got off the staff at the Depew station was a lot more sympathetic, and said since nothing else was being offered he would put us on the next train back home, but since it was a Sunday morning there was no train to Rochester until roughly 7:45am. It was about 1:30 at this point. I felt awful for encouraging the other girl not to pay for two ubers and a bus ticket with the only alternative being offered to sit alone in an empty, unstaffed station in the middle of the night for hours. And between the situation, being tired and still sick, and dealing with my aunt calling hotels only to get put on hold and lose the room she was trying to reserve - I put my bags in a corner, found the restroom, and had a panic attack. I don’t know why, but those tend to be stupid like that. It’s not even like I was scared, or confused, or that worried myself. I started out very ‘whatever, I’ll just get a room or stay in the station, I’m pissed but whatever’. But something about the constant calls and texts and my battery nearing 0 had me stressed and I was crying like a bitch. I just wanted to fucking sleep, and I knew that wouldn’t happen in a train station with nothing but some benches, a restroom, and a vending machine.

Rach suggested an alternative I felt guilty about taking but ended up going for: Get to her parents house just outside Buffalo, get their spare key, and sleep on their couch while they’re out of town with their blessing. So I called an Uber, and the first one passed me by, with the gps fucking up and saying I should be picked up ON THE TRAIN TRACKS. The second guy was smart enough to come to the cab pickup out front and was really cool. He said he was just thankful I wasn’t a fucked up drunk college party kid and the first all night. He didn’t comment on how I probably definitely looked like I’d just been broken up with in the world’s worst romcom. It was over 20 bucks and I tipped him the max. Found my way inside, set up the couch, and continued my momentarily on hold panic until I eventually passed out. My Aunt came to pick me up in the morning, I got carsick, we had mediocre diner breakfast and what’s after that isn’t news worth talking about. Isn’t it bad enough the tail end of the trip took up like a third of this post?

All in all... it felt like a disaster. I’m not gonna lie. In weird ways the stars aligned that TWRP would end up on Conan the night of their show and have to reschedule to the day I came to town, but I paid for it with otherwise bad timing and my body deciding against me having a good time. Fun was had, don’t get me wrong. The good was good and any chance to get away from... this, is appreciated, but it just seemed like everything went awry. 

Mucho thanks to @conniecorleone again, for letting me crash on the futon and be my usual bland self, even blander while ill, and also buying me expensive cold syrup and a-many ubers.

We’ll see if Massachusetts and I ever cross paths again.

[emmaruthrundlesh]

Dispelling Genres with Emma Ruth Rundle // Addicted Mag

(Via Addicted Magazine) Following Emma Ruth Rundle’s stunning set at Sneaky Dee’s in Toronto, we sat down (in this case, stood under an ATM security light) and discussed her new album, her new home and uh, music.

The review of her show can be found here.

Let’s start from the beginning.

I grew up in L.A. Both my parents are musicians. My mom plays harpsichord. My dad’s a pianist, my stepmom is a bass player. They met in a band. I just grew up around a lot of music.

Did you grow up listening to folk music?

It was all kinds of music. And I think the folk music thing really took hold when I started to hang out at the McCabe’s Guitar Store when I was a little girl, taking Celtic harp lessons. Then went on to work there for 13 years. So I think that’s where the folk influence originated. I think it was just from being so steeped in every element of what that multifaceted establishment was. It was about the concerts, the lessons, the repair and retail.

What was the first album that you bought with your own money?

Probably In Utero, to be honest, it was Nirvana.

About your songwriting process, you start on acoustic guitar. Do you come up with ideas in standard tuning and then work out your chord voicings?

No. I Inherited the open tunings also from the guitar store. If you handed me a guitar in standard tuning, I would have a hard time with it. I mean, at some point, I started tuning the guitar in a way that made more sense to me. I heard somebody else start changing a string and then I thought well if you can do it to one string, why can’t you do all this to all the strings, just rearrange it all. So for me, mostly my voicings , the root is usually on the fifth or sixth string. Using those open strings a lot in the chords, its makes them more of a modal thing.

You give yourself a lot of work.

I actually think it’s so much easier to play guitar like that. What’s hard about what I’m doing now, on this tour. To have a guitar in all the tunings, I’d have to have all of Kevin Shields’ guitars. If I was really wealthy and had a dedicated guitar roadie. That would be amazing. But it’s not the case. What I use is a combination of two guitars, sometimes it’s three and then capoing around. it’s been difficult actually to relearn the patterns of the songs in those different positions on the fretboard, it’s throwing me off a little. Not feeling super comfortable with it yet. I have tried to learn standard. I did take some classical guitar lessons a couple of years ago. It’s like. I do want to learn standard, be more proficient.

The genre that you tend to be put into, seems to be called gothic folk or dark folk

I don’t think this is folk music at all.

And yet in my research, I keep seeing it called folk music.

It’s because somebody said something and then everyone else just repeated it. I think that there are folky moments on the records, especially on Some Heavy Ocean, but I don’t think it’s folk music.

Maybe because it’s hard to pin down, if someone needs to classify your music…

I think Americana would make a little more sense in the mix with some other things. There’s a grunge influence. There’s a shoegaze influence, there’s post rock. There is, maybe, a touch of some country songs. And there’s a lot of 90s music. You know, I’m surprised people aren’t like “this is the drop tune Cranberries”.

That brings me to a point because as I’ve been listening to the new album, On Dark Horses, there are elements in these songs that lead me to think ‘that could be a pop song’. Play it in a standard tuning, throw in a little piano and a soft beat…Let’s get to the new album. I think it’s fantastic.

Thank you.

(Producer) Kevin Ratterman is credited with doing pretty much everything behind the board including engineering, mixing and mastering.

Yeah, he even played some keyboards and some guitar. He’d be like “I’m going to mix the song” and you’d come back and he’d say “I just added this little moment here”. He’s a very colourful creator. He’s got that creative fire. He’s a very special person. He moved to L.A. sadly. Kevin will come back. I was attracted to working with Kevin because of the Young Widows album, In and Out of Youth and Lightness, which is my favourite Young Widows album. That’s another reason why I fell in love with Louisville and Evan. I did a tour with them 10 years ago. I became enamoured with Evan’s guitar playing immediately and then listened to all their albums and that record has this wonderful theme in its sound and that’s Kevin and I think he did that for this record. He captured this sonic palette. It just has a colour and it’s Kevin. Once you know him and you’re around him, you see that he’s so in the records that he’s made.

On Dark Horses seems like the kind of album that you can continually listen to and still pick up new little pieces in the background.

He’s hidden a lot of little things. I love what he did with the bridge in Darkhorse where he did this panning so drums become the horses running around you. It’s very cool.

It’s good to have a producer thinking creatively like that.

Exactly, and Todd (Cook, bassist) and Evan and Dylan. Having them as well really changed it for me too.

Do you have a favourite off the album?

Darkhorse and Control are my two favourites

You Don’t Have To Cry is the song that I listened to again and again

I think a lot of people love that song and it’s our encore. I wrote it for my friend, Blake.

You write a lot in what I think of as vignettes or abstractions. There​ isn’t really a narrative in your songs.

It’s all about my life, my music and my lyrics…

Your lyrics can be interpreted in different ways. I think that’s the kind of music that people grasp onto. They can make it about themselves as well.​

I think that that is perfect. And that’s one reason why I don’t want to talk too much about my things, because some of is explicit in nature and I don’t want to really directly divulge those things. But it is meaningful enough and I think that some of it is charged in that way. That’s what music did for me when I was younger. That was the ultimate thing, when music could do that.

Of course. When someone says a song saved their life, it’s never a pop country song about tequila and trucks.

Yeah, It’s hard to find it now.

Which is why people grab on tight when they do find it.

I’m definitely like that. I have certain albums and I just listen to over and over and have for years.

What’s the one that you still gravitate to?

Well, for the last few years,. I would say 40 Watt Sun. The Inside Room. I listen to it almost every day. But that’s not like a nostalgic classic record from my childhood. It’s a discovery in my adult life. It did that cathartic thing for me that’s just so rare. That’s some serious soul music from my perspective

Why did you move from LA to Louisville?

It’s a fantastic place for artists. There’s a tight little scene of people. I think the great thing about it is that it’s very affordable and there’s a good quality of life. People are down to earth and we have a nice little situation there. Sometimes I start to feel like I’m trapped in the Beetlejuice town a little bit. And I do miss LA a lot but we get to tour.   (Pause).   I couldn’t go back. It’s kind of what Dead Set Eyes is about, leaving LA. Louisville is a great place. These fine people are from there (pointing to Jaye Jayle as they load out). Like my family. It’s kind of a long story. I was on tour, Jaye Jayle and ERR released the split record (The Time Between Us) last year, those were b-sides from Marked For Death and from their album, House Cricks. And the packaging, we just made it like this weird country romance. So we had this wild idea, since I was got asked to play Roadburn and do a little tour in Europe. Because I had very little funds, the idea was to combine the bands, have them learn my music and they would open for me. Then they would back me up as my band. That was Cathy’s wild idea (Cathy Pellow, founder of Sargent House) and she’s full of wild ideas. And I came off the Deafheaven tour and had split up with a partner. At some point earlier in the year, I was just kind of like gypsying around. I went back to Denver with Dylan (Nadon), that’s my drummer and Jaye Jayle were on tour with Oathbreaker. So the plan was they were going to finish their Oathbreaker tour and we were going to rehearse for four days in Louisville. I would go to Louisville and then we would all together fly to Europe and play Roadburn and do this tour. And I just thought, they were playing in Denver the next day and thought why don’t I just get in the van with you. I’ll sell your merch for the next two weeks and then I don’t have to fly to Louisville. I’ll just get a free ride, we’ll all have a wild time and I’ll help you out. And I got in that van and I just never got out. And now I’m married to Evan, So it’s a pretty good deal.

Talk about collaborating with Evan (Patterson, husband, Young Widows/Jaye Jayle songwriter and singer) .

Light Song is a love song. And so, he’s the answer, you know. I sang on their album. We did that record right after we came back from Europe. I had to cancel a bunch of shows because I was physically destroyed. I just went to the studio to recover and he had written that song (Marry Us). It was so weird. Like a sort of strange magic. He wrote that song before I got in the van. I sang on it. We had been singing together on tour. We were singing Run Forever when we played that song live. Those two songs, Marry Us andLight Song are like secret partner songs. So, if you’re a fan that’s paying attention, it’s kind of a cute thing. That there’s these matching love songs on the records that we both sing on together. I think it’s cute.

I do too! Thanks for talking to us, congrats on the new album. Have a great tour.

Photo by Geert Braekers

[jonathantaylorthomas]

They’re among the biggest stars in the world, but Taylor Swift and Beyonce have struggled to sell out some of their UK and Irish stadium shows this summer.

Tickets have remained available for every date of Swift’s UK tour, and fans in Dublin, where she plays this weekend, have reported that free tickets are being given away.

According Scottish fans, tickets for Beyonce and Jay-Z’s joint OTR II show were being handed out for free in Glasgow last weekend.

The concerts have been far from empty, however, and many more people have seen the stars than if they’d played in arenas.

Other singers like Ed Sheeran, who plays four shows at Wembley Stadium this week, have had fewer problems shifting tickets.

So what’s going on with shows that have sold less well? Here are some explanations for why ticket sales may have been lackluster

1) The empty seats are deliberate

Strange as it may seem, failing to fill those stadiums could be a good thing.

Taylor Swift’s tour has been used as a test case in turfing out the touts - with priority given to “verified” fans who pre-registered with Ticketmaster. Those who watched videos or bought merchandise could jump the queue and get discounted tickets in a pre-sale.

The scheme wasn’t without critics but, according to Ticketmaster, only 3% of tickets made their way to secondary websites like StubHub and Seatwave. For a regular tour, that figure can be as high as 50%.

In the past, touts have bought more tickets than they can sell, leading to gaps in the audience. This time, the empty seats are Taylor’s problem. But she’s ensured fans are paying a fair price which, research shows, means they’re more likely to buy a T-shirt at her merch stall.

It’s a complicated calculation - but according to box office analysts Pollstar, the US leg of the Reputation Tour made more in its first two months than Taylor’s previous tour did in total.

2) Eye-watering ticket prices

Putting on a stadium show is expensive and ticket prices reflect that.

Taylor Swift is cavorting around Europe with a gigantic, double-sided stage, a pair of inflatable cobras, a jewel-encrusted microphone and hordes of dancers. Beyonce and Jay-Z have floating platforms, stadium-wide video screens and multiple costume changes (OK, Jay-Z’s wardrobe of hoodies and beanie hats probably didn’t bust the budget…)

Accordingly, fans are being asked to stump up between £60 and £200 for tickets, with VIP packages reaching a staggering £735.

Such prices aren’t abnormal. The Rolling Stones charged £399.95 for a premium standing ticket to their No Filter tour in London - but their audience is older and better off, and there’s an added incentive in seeing them for what might be the last time.

According to Pollstar, average ticket prices have tripled over the last decade, while wage growth has slowed down.

Although concert-going has so far been resilient to the spending squeeze, perhaps the tide is turning.

3) Bad timing

“Old Taylor” may be dead, but it seems UK fans preferred her songs.

The star’s new album Reputation may have sold two million copies in the US but over here it’s only been certified gold - representing sales of 100,000. That’s a precipitous drop from the 1.2 million people who bought its predecessor, making her decision to launch her first-ever stadium tour look like hubris.

Beyonce and Jay-Z have a different problem. While their recent albums have been well-received, they’ve already taken them on the road. Dropping a joint EP (Bonnie and Clyde ‘18 anyone?) might have given ticket sales a shot in the arm.

4) We’re spoiled for choice

An average music fan spends between £40 and £50 on gigs each year, according to a recent survey. Attending a stadium show blows that budget in one go.

So with Beyonce, Jay-Z, Ed, Taylor, The Rolling Stones and Foo Fighters all playing in the same four-week period, fans will inevitably choose one artist at the expense of another.

What’s more, tours from Katy Perry, Justin Timberlake, Little Mix, Noel Gallagher and Shakira are also competing for fans’ attention. And that’s before you factor in festivals - where £150 will get you access to dozens of bands over several days, rather than one headliner playing on a cavernous sports field.

5) Who are Taylor Swift and Beyonce anyway?

Taylor Swift and Beyonce are two of pop’s most private stars, rarely granting interviews and rationing TV appearances like they were Densuke Watermelons.

That’s great when it comes to building up a sense of mystique - but not so handy when you want people at your show.

A stint on Graham Norton’s sofa or a friendly chat with a local radio station can help shift hundreds, if not thousands of tickets. But the two titans of US pop remained resolutely tight-lipped when their tours went on sale.

Swift belatedly popped up on BBC One, giving her shows a hefty plug while playing BBC Music’s Biggest Weekend. It probably put bums on seats but, coming two weeks before opening night, it was a little too late.

6) Touts have given live music an image problem

It happens all the time. You log on to Ticketmaster at 9am to buy tickets for your favourite artist the second they go on sale. After three minutes “in a queue” you’re told the show has already sold out - but, hey, there are hundreds of tickets available on another website if you want them, and they’re only three times face value.

It’s a hugely frustrating experience - and one that’s only become worse as touts use sophisticated methods to “harvest” tickets as soon as they go on sale (there’s also evidence that some venues and promoters have given tickets directly to secondary sites, bypassing the public).

The knock-on effect is that some fans have given up hope. Last year, 68% of concertgoers said they would attend fewer gigs because they’d paid high prices on the secondary market.

Hopefully the efforts being made by Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift and Arctic Monkeys can restore confidence.

[laughingupfromhell]

LMAOOO yall act like europe doesnt have stadiums or some shit like sje fucked up accept it and leave

No, you know what? How about you leave. It has nothing to do with Europe having stadiums and everything to do with sales. Europe doesn’t have the sales to support a stadium show in a million cities. It just doesn’t. It’s a sad reality. Does it suck? Yes. And I really do sympathize with those of you who aren’t being legitimate cow tits about it, because it ISN’T fair that you have to travel to another country to see her, but logistically, it makes NO sense for her to do a STADIUM SHOW in a country that will not sell out a stadium! Regardless of whether or not they have one, two, ten, two hundred stadiums! It costs MONEY for her to book that stadium! They have to pay for the venue, for the concessions, for the workers, for security, for stage set up and break down, so on and so forth. And yes, I KNOW, Taylor Swift has money, but it’s absolutely ridiculous to expect an entire team to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on a show that will not even fill up. It doesn’t make any sense. Her TEAM looks at sales trends from the last album, this album, etc. and they decide on tour dates. It isn’t to fuck any particular country over. Believe it or not, Taylor does not sit on her phone and go “you know what? I don’t particularly like poptartswift21213. No tour for that country.”  There is actual RESEARCH that goes into scheduling these kinds of things, and I really AM sorry that it doesn’t please you guys. I’m sorry that it makes things harder for you, and that really DOES suck. I’d be upset too. But there is a difference between being upset because she isn’t coming near you and what has been happening on this cesspool of a site for the past two months. The CONSTANT complaining about everything from tour dates, to prices, to merch, to who taylor meets, to how many hours a day taylor spends online, how many likes people get, whether or not she does press, whether she speaks on certain issues, etc. Are some of these things valid complaints? ABSOLUTELY! Some of them I have had issue with myself! But are they all on Taylor? NO! Believe it or not, she isn’t in charge of everything! She has someone even SHE answers to! and even if she does make a decision, perhaps it’s out of her own self preservation? I’m not one to get too into this kind of thing because i know some people tend to exaggerate it, but Taylor IS a person with an actual life and human emotions. She has done everything in her power to make sure we all know how much she loves and cares about us and honestly, we’ve been spoiled. Does that mean I agree with every single thing she or her team chooses to do? No. Because I definitely don’t. Do I think everything that has gone on is fair? No. But does that mean I stand on the highest rooftop and scream “FUCK TAYLOR, FUCK TAYLOR NATION, THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT ME, THEY WANT INTERNATIONAL FANS/POOR FANS/POC FANS/LGBT FANS/ETC. DEAD”? NO! BECAUSE THAT’S IRRATIONAL AND ABSOLUTELY UNTRUE!!! 

So yeah. It SUCKS. It sucks that she can’t come to every country or all around Europe because the sales don’t prove that she would do well in a stadium setting other than huge metropolitan areas in the UK like London/Manchester/Dublin. It sucks that merch is so expensive. It sucks that there was an oversight at the reputation release party. It sucks that the media fucked up so badly, we lost out on Taylor wanting to do press. That all definitely sucks. But you know what else sucks? Coming online every day and seeing a new complaint and a new riot crew forming in some ridiculous attempt to overthrow Swiftie™ hierarchy like this is some fucked up form of government. It’s a fandom. One that used to be fun. I’m not asking for anyone to shut up and go with it, because by all means, if you are TRULY upset, that is understandable. But lets try and be a little more understanding of what all goes on behind the scenes and the why of everything. Does that make it less upsetting for someone who might not be able to attend a show or afford merch or meet taylor? Absolutely not. I’m not saying it does. But the constant negativity isn’t helping anything. There is a way to be productive with your upset and the constant dumpster fire of anger and vitriol on this website is not the way to go about it.