#the darkling is a chatty boy

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

When it's meant to be her progress report but Sasha just wants to monologue.

Gifs by @ladylrbloom

[howtotrainyouragents]

Agent H’s Book Reactions

Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo

Sun Summoner Alina Starkov and her love, Mal, are recaptured by the Darkling, but with the help of a wily prince and old friends, they may survive yet and save Ravka.

-How does Leigh Bardugo make me so furious at her yet so impatient for the next book? Doesn’t matter, I’m invested now. You know, I could really love this series if it wasn’t for one small, annoying detail named Mal.  

-I deeply adored how the first book went from “fantasy school” genre to “wilderness survival” genre, so I was inevitably a little disappointed that this book did the exact reverse (And they were on the sea too!) But I appreciated the new take on the Little Palace. Also, in retrospect, most of this book was just fluff and the series should have been a duology. But damn, if that wasn’t some quality fluff with all the character and world development. 

-I’m not saying that I don’t understand Mal’s actions or feelings; I’m just saying I don’t care. If you care to know why, you’ll find the post about him here. 

-Flying ships, fuck yeah! All I could think of though was Jesper’s “Take me with you.” Because same, boy, same. 

-So if you saw my Shadow and Bone review, you’d know that I only started reading this series because I was curious about Nikolai Lantsov. I was not disappointed. He was easily the most interesting character in the book. 

-But I’m surprised to learn that he wasn’t this charming, goodwill adventurer (ala Carswell Thorne) like I’d expected. Yeah, fans like him because he’s funny and handsome, but I see that fans love him because he’s so complex. He’s a stalwart patriot and master manipulator and Leigh doesn’t shy away from how scary that really is nor how soft he can be. I’m so excited for King of Scars because I’m dying to know what’s going on in his head. He’s Kaz Brekker if Kaz was chatty and didn’t have a tragic backstory. 

-”On your word as a cutthroat and a pirate?” “Privateer”. Guys, Guys, the difference is that a privateer is loyal to a country and I cried.

-Just when I was so upset with Mal that I decided I preferred her with the Darkling, The Darkling shows up with his emotional manipulation and abuse. Boy, I did not miss that. 

-If Alina had to be with one of the guys, I’d rather it be Nikolai because they have a good relationship. But he’s using her too, so what I really want is for Alina to ride off into the sunset 1) alone 2) with Genya 3) with Tamar 4) with Zoya in a nice redemption arc

-I really enjoyed Alina’s growing greed and obsession with power. It was scary and cool to watch and I wish it had been explored towards the end just a little bit longer. 

-I still don’t think she has much of a personality, but it was so great to see her be sassy and be human. And especially to see her come into her own as a Grisha leader. I actually like her now. 

-I think her relationship with Zoya is endlessly interesting because it’s supposed to be mean girl vs nobody MC, but Leigh gives both women personalities, motivation, and stakes. It’s so much better than two women who cattily fight over a guy (I’m all for women having complex relationship with other women. It’s not all sunny and it’s not all hate either.) 

-NOO, GENYA

-Aww, I was really happy to see more of David because he had become a background favorite. And YAY, FABRIKATORS ARE IMPORTANT. AND YAY, MIXING OF GRISHA. AND NOOOOOOOOOOO, EVERYONE IS DEAD 

-I’m so confused on the Ravkan religion. Like they have saints but no God, okay. Do they worship the saints? Why are these people considered saints? Why were they martyred? Did they help create things? I’m just confused here 

-My heart broke for Bhagra. 

-I think I really enjoyed the succintness and story of the first book, but this was a delicious feast of character and worldbuilding, of Alina’s awesomness, and of course, Nikolai Lantsov

-Does anyone else imagine The Cut as the Airbending slice? No? Just Me? Okay.

-Not gonna lie, I brought up the whole “like calls to like” spiel in organic chemistry terms way more than I probably should have 

-This is the dumbest thing in the entire world, but at one point it says mal is drinking a glass of tea. Is it iced tea? I just…this got to me so much.

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

Adopt a Darkling .... you might be sorry.

Ok! Thank you for disinheriting your spawn and replacing them with me! I am the upgrade you never knew would kill you-I mean you needed!

So we're totes going to redesign this shit hole after I kill you-I meant, when my adoption and my Princeship is made official Papa! Daddy! Pete?

Ivan! He's looking doubtful again!

Now for the renovations! Black and grey and gold and black everywhere except Alina's room. She wants pastels and a Bambi theme! and a bright pink S & M chamber for her Genya , and Zoya!

What do you mean too much information, Tatiana? Alina says S & M means "Smarties and M & M's" So it's a lolly room.

Right?

Right? ....

"IVAN!"

So I told Sasha that S & M meant "Smarties and M & M's" and he believed me!

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

"Ah! Nope!|"

"You didn't get the memo?"

"Let me remind you!!"

"This is my Ted Talk!"

Gifs by @ladylrbloom

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

"Now remember what I taught you"

Look dashing, hot and shag worthy at all times! Keep a horsy on hand!

And if all else fails! Look like a puppy!

Be nice to your Tailor. Next to me. They are always right!

Accessorise!

If you're going to drop, do it properly-camp, very camp!

Murder should be done swiftly and with style!

End of lesson!

Sasha logic!

Inspired by Inkbugs fan fic on A03 "Reply All" Gifs by @ladylrbloom

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

"Tracker ...."

"I'm going to boop your world!"

"Actually ..."

"I lied!"

"I'm going to boop Alina's instead! So long sucka!"

gifs by @ladylrbloom

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

"Time for speech!"

Gif by @ladylrbloom

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

Time for speechies!

Sasha doesn't need a goat for a therapist, he needs a chat show!

Gifs by @ladylrbloom

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

Sasha

"Did you get your bottom handed to you by Zoya again, Lapushka?"

Alina

"Ummmm"

A few days later.

Genya

"Welcome to my boot camp! Please stop screaming, The General is about to make a speech!"

Gifs by @ladylrbloom

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

"Why yes, Miss Safin, I am a little bit pissed off and possibly dying because Alina put me in a time out! Thank you for asking! How are you?"

"I might need to use your stall closet Moi Soverennyi ..."

Gifs by @ladylrbloom

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

Chatty Darkling strikes again! Gifs by @ladylrbloom

Darkling "Greetings Vladim! I have a task for you!"

Vladim "The Eye of Newt you need for your viagra isn't quite-"

Darkling! "No! Not that! I'm talking about this!"

Darkling. "I want you to give Mal Oretsev an Erectile Dysfunction.

Vladim. "Oh Saints!"

Later that evening.

Alina. "Sasha?"

Darkling. "Yes my lil kinky sun crumpet?"

Alina. "Did you do something to Mal's Willy?"

Darkling "Well ... yesss ....."

Alina. "YOU BASTARD!"

Darkling "Same time next week?"

On a serious note. If you can, please see your doctor if you are having issues.

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

Chatty Darkling strikes again! Gifs by @ladylrbloom

Sasha

"So we're going to live in a mad max inspired wasteland but fear not! I know loads about bottoms and night botany and-"

Alina

"I have to object!"

Sasha

"Did you just stop me .... mid speechie?!?"

Ivan

"She's fucked!"

Alina. Apparently not yet ....

"Vitamin D is good for you!"

Sasha clearly in love

"I'm listening"

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

Chatter box Darkling strikes again gifs by @ladylrbloom

"Greetings! Have a seat and let's chat! For eons!"

Chatty boi!

[ludarklina-fan-spot]

Sasha would rather chat his enemies to death gifs by @ladylrbloom.

"Yes! I am going to end you! But! First! I need to Monologue!"

adventures of chatty Darkling. aka. The Darkling is a chatty boy.