#the cw never stood a chance against the gay love

[thefableddestiel]

Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day

[livingforcoopsandoknutzy]

pulling your partner into your lap

for cubs (or any pairing within the cubs) maybe like early days of being together! someone does it and the other is just like okay damn this is new i love it

i'm using this to write harvard finnlo (i'm going to stop spamming hazel now but last time today credit to @lumosinlove for the characters <3)

CW: drinking, drunk logan, homophobia (use of the f slur), cursing

HARVARD: Finn & Logan

Finn laughed as he set his beer on the table next to him. College parties weren't his favorite pastime but Logan had been in his head for almost a week so Finn figured he could tough it out if it helped get Logan out of his head.

Finn was in the middle of a conversation with his friend, Abeni, when Logan came stumbling in. Logan's eyes were hazy but when they landed on Finn he shrieked happily. "Finny! I was looking for you." He slurred as he made (tripped) his way over. Abeni went quiet as she watched the scene unfold with a quiet smile.

Finn laughed fondly as Logan collapsed half in Finn's lap on the couch. Finn pulled Logan the rest of the way into his lap and basked in the way Logan went limp against him.

Logan was almost never physically affectionate. He had been at the beginning of their friendship but slowly he stopped touching people at all. It was something Finn had never understood but if Logan was willingly affectionate he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to enjoy it.

Finn rubbed Logan's side gently while Logan relaxed further into him as he talked. "Abeni, you look really pretty tonight." Logan said sappily. Abeni raised a dark eyebrow before turning her equally dark eyes to look at Finn.

"Finn, control your boy." Abeni said it jokingly but Finn felt Logan tense in his arms and silently cursed. "We can't have him flirting with everyone tonight." Logan was sobering up quickly and Finn wrapped an arm around his waist to try to get him to relax again.

Their friend Max, who was listening to the conversation laughed. "Nah, let him. With the way he's clinging to Finn the girls will think he's gay. You don't want anyone to think you're a fag now do you, Lo-Lo?"

Finn glared at Max. Logan practically lept off his lap, Finn's arms falling to his side. "Fuck off, Max. I'm not gay." He said before turning around and leaving the room.

If looks could kill, Max would be dead five times over with the combination of looks Abeni and Finn were sending him.

"There's nothing wrong with being gay Max, you're just an asshole." She stood up and turned to Finn before gesturing to the kitchen. Finn nodded and sent one more glare towards Max before he followed Abeni to the kitchen.

JUST GOT TOGETHER: Finn & Leo

Finn was reading Romeo and Juliet in his room when he heard the front door open and close. Leo had been shopping, having picked the short straw for the month, for hours and Finn had missed him.

It hadn't been long but they had barely separated since they decided to give the three of them a try. Logan had left that morning for Dumo's to do some family bonding activity Dumo had threatened to kill Logan if he missed.

When Finn got to a stopping point he saved his page and walked downstairs. Leo was sitting on the couch on his phone but looked up when he heard Finn approaching. He smiled blindingly and for a second Finn forgot how to breathe.

God, how is this my life?

"Hey, come look at this TikTok account I found. They take clips of the team during games and try to lip-read what we're saying. It's really funny though because everything they say is totally ridiculous." Finn smiled and walked over to him so he could see what Leo was talking about.

Before Finn got the chance to lean down, Leo pulled him into his lap. Finn's legs resting across Leo's and his side pressed against Leo's chest. Leo rested his arm on Finn's legs and started the video.

Finn was 100% not paying attention, too busy focusing on the feeling of being so casually close to Leo. Finn wondered for a minute if Leo could feel his heart jackrabbiting in his chest.

Leo laughed and Finn felt his chest rumble with it. Finn relaxed against him and smiled adoringly. He had to admit, the videos were pretty funny.

When Logan got back about two hours later he was met with honestly probably the most precious sight he'd seen. Leo's arms were wrapped loosely around Finn's torso and his head was rested on Finn's head where it laid on his chest. Finn's legs were thrown over Leo's and they were both sleeping peacefully.

Warmth filled his chest as he took in the scene. Eventually he woke them up and moved them to the bed for an afternoon nap.

No one needed to know that his new home screen was a picture of what was soon to become his new favorite sight.

SEASONED COUPLE: Logan & Leo

Leo was sitting on their couch watching reruns of Gilmore Girls when Logan walked in after a grueling day of babysitting the Dumais' children.

Logan walked over to the couch and collapsed next to Leo. "I'm so tired." He complained when Leo did nothing but pat his back in acknowledgment.

Leo looked at him with a smirk. "You're the one who decided to spend their off day babysitting. I feel like that one's on you." Logan pouted, sticking his tongue out.

"I didn't say it wasn't I just said I was tired." Logan mumbled, the pout never leaving his lips. Leo smiled softly and leaned down to kiss him. "I'm sorry, babe. At least now you get to rest." Logan shrugged, he had never been good at taking naps.

Leo grabbed him gently by the thighs and pulled his into his lap. Logan's legs were straddling him as they sat chest to chest.

"Comfortable?" Leo asked. Logan nodded with a content sigh as he buried his face into the warmth of Leo's neck. Leaving soft kisses everywhere he could reach.

Leo's long arms wrapped around him and Logan felt an overwhelming sense of protection. A safe feeling he only really felt with Finn and Leo.

He was really lucky to have them and he told Leo so. Leo kissed his temple, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "I'm lucky to have you, too."

It only took about ten minutes of rubbing Logan's back before Leo felt Logan relax completely against him, fast asleep. Leo pressed a kiss to the mess of curls that sat on his boyfriend's head.

"Love you." He whispered before turning his attention back to Lorelai, Rory, and Luke.

[xdandelionxbloomx]

Modern Day AU idea

(CW: cancer - not major character death)

Jaskier and Geralt had been friends for nearly a decade and a half - 

They met in college when they were randomly assigned roommates and they fucking HATED each other at first, couldn’t stand each other’s guts - Geralt thought Julian was a trust fund baby who got an easy ride and he talked so goddamn much without ever SAYING anything and wasn’t that exhausting??? Jaskier hated Geralt because the man was so fucking quiet and prickly and he never listened to music - who the hell never listens to music? And really it was a nightmare for the first half of the year and then one day Geralt came home early from his weekend trip he took out to Kaer Morhen Ranch about two hours out from their school and Julian was in TEARS on the bed, staring down at a financial aid bill and Geralt’s whole world turned on its axis. 

Something changed between them that night and although they still were at each other’s throats, it was softer and slowly actual anger turned into bickering and then into blows that didn’t land at all, uncertain smiles and shared chores. 

(And maybe Julian finally told Geralt that it was Jaskier and Geralt corrected himself immediately)

Geralt could COOK and Jaskier finally found out what music he liked and everyone on their goddamn floor had bets for when they’d get together as Jaskier sang and played his stupid guitar while the hottest dude in the boy’s dorm cooked for him in the tiny, awful kitchen

Their latter years of college were spent sharing an apartment when Jaskier secured a better job and Geralt started training horses at Kaer Morhen and it brought in a solid amount of funds - “Welcome home, Cowboy-” started out as a joke, but the endearment STUCK

And so, yeah, Jaskier was fucking hopelessly in love with Geralt and he just,,, existed in some kind of goddamn limbo. It felt like they danced a line so close and then Geralt would fall into a relationship - Renfi, Yennefer, he WON’T think about that three month tryst with some dude named Regis like who names their kid Regis-- 

Jaskier wrote and wrote and wrote and yeah, he’d gone to school for creative writing but on an open mic night someone from a label spotted him and suddenly he was swept up into this wild life in the media and he was singing and touring and suddenly little busking jobs turned into stadiums with lights so bright he couldn’t see the crowd and he just missed Geralt so much---

And they see each other every few months but it’s not how it used to be and Jaskier feels so lost-- 

And then-- 

And then one day he woke up with a sore throat and then-- 

Then he found his neck oddly swollen and he caved and went to the doctor and--

And the doctor tells him-- 

He tells him it’s cancer-- 

Early stages, they have a good chance of beating it, he just has to follow the treatment plan-- 

And it was in his throat because of course the world would want to keep that out of his reach too--

Jaskier arrived one dry summer afternoon at the Kaer Morhen ranch in a big black SUV that peeled away as soon as it dropped him-- 

And Geralt was there, of course he was there, and it was Roach - this little chestnut mare he’d been working to rehabilitate - she was aggressive to most other people and didn’t play well with the other creatures on the ranch and Geralt was terrible at texting but he sent Roach pictures every three days-- 

And Jaskier kind of wants to cry because they said there was a good chance, but what if-- what if there’s not because it’s cancer and what if it spreads to the rest of him-- 

And he’s terrified-- 

He’s wasted so much time-- 

So much time-- 

Geralt saw him and lit up, and he fucking-- he vaulted over the fence like he wasn’t almost thirty five, light and spry and strong as ever, and Jaskier’s weak in the knees-- 

“Hey, Cowboy.” He said and his voice cracked, sounded rough, and he reaches up to scrub at his face, laughing without humor, unsure of how to hold himself together-- 

Geralt’s on him in moments-- 

And Jaskier babbled about needing a break and medical visits--

And CANCER--

Jaskier didn’t tell him that he loved him that night-- 

He didn’t tell him for a long time-- 

It felt like a long time, anyways-- 

Geralt couldn’t wrap his head around the whole thing because Jaskier has never smoked so how-- 

And it could have been secondhand Jaskier tried to explain, tried to illustrate smokers in their lavish mansions with food that looked beautiful and tasted like shit, and GOD he’d missed Geralt’s cooking-- 

Treatment was hard and he’d been traveling for the first half, but he eventually got to the point he couldn’t handle it anymore and he was going to say goodbye to Geralt and maybe-- 

But Geralt told him to stay, to be there, and Jaskier was always weak to refuse a request from Geralt so he stayed-- 

And Jaskier tried to tell him, he tried to, because there were days where he felt like time and the world was slipping out of his hands, where he felt like a ghost in his own body, wandering the halls of something unrecognizable-- 

And-- 

And--- 

He couldn’t even sing very well anymore at all-- 

And-- 

Jaskier shuffled out on the porch one night when he couldn’t find Geralt - the man’s hunched over a disgusting black coffee which meant he was worried and he was staring at the horse paddock like he could see something through the night-- 

“Cowboy.” Jaskier’s voice was a crackle, a raw noise, and Geralt startled, looking up at him, and then he looked wounded and Jaskier HATED that-- 

“I can go if it’s too much.” Jaskier rasped, wincing at the toll.

“No,” Geralt retorted immediately - “Don’t ever go.”  

And Jaskier started crying right then and there on the porch in autumn with a tiny breeze enough to make him shiver--

“I should have told you,” His voice creaked, “I should have told you.”

And Geralt stood and held him and didn’t ask and Jaskier couldn’t bring himself to say it-- 

And then-- 

And then-- 

They tell him it’s over-- 

That he’s cancer free-- 

And the not enough time fear has become something new he can’t fathom (years stretch ahead of him, seasons rolling) and he doesn’t return to the world Out There he stays on the ranch while he works through recovery--

And he day that he hollers across to the paddock without feeling like he’d swallowed glass, he realizes-- 

And he doesn’t say it, not really-- 

Geralt comes in that night dirty and exhausted and Jaskier-- 

He crowds him up against the wall of the little ranch house, rattling some of the pictures on the wall as his best friend in the whole world’s back hits it-- 

The love of his goddamn life-- 

“They’re all about you.” He says--

“Every single goddamn one is about you and I almost didn’t have enough time-- I didn’t--” And he kisses Geralt because he cannot do anything else-- 

And Geralt kisses him back desperately, winds those stupid strong arms around his neck and pulls him in until they’re pressed against each other from chest to hip--

“Don’t ever go.” Geralt’s voice is a rough rumble from working out with the horses all day and from emotion and Jaskier wraps his arms around his waist, squeezing him tightly, pressing his face to his neck-- 

“Never.” He says--

And when he comes back-- 

When he comes back to social media it’s about how he beat cancer and got his voice back-- 

And his new single-- 

His new single is a tender ballad (his voice is slightly off, but it always will be after the ordeal his body went through to keep it) about a cowboy who went grey early, who liked his coffee with milk and sugar on good mornings, who had warm hands, and-- 

Everyone loses their shit-- 

Because it’s gay country music and so many feel fucking seen-- 

And Jaskier’s upbeat pop songs become a mix with slower country and he doesn’t have the twang but he sings of love and ranches and horses and sunsets with a beat up pickup truck-- 

And Jaskier is HAPPY--

He’s even happier a few years later when he posts a picture of a simple gold band on his finger (without a caption since he doubted it needed one).

[cotncandyboifics]

A Lovely Night: Chapter 3

AO3 Link

Masterpost

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6

Pairing(s): pre-established roceit & prinxiety, anaroceit, eventual anaroloceit, eventual intruality

Word count: ~2k

Story summary: Roman's boyfriends had had a rivalry since before either of them had actually met Roman. Running a bit late to a date night, Roman accidentally gets them to start dating too.

General CW: non-detailed description of an anxiety attack, non-detailed description of physical pain, food, kissing, potentially triggering descriptions of physical bodies, swearing, caps lock, school settings, s-xual innuendos, slight description of gore(imagery), vague descriptions of anxiety, Implications of an eating disorder, fatigue, dissociation, suppression of stimming, implied heavy restriction (ED), inner monologue-style anxiety description, eating,(will be added to as I write more)

Chapter CW: food mention, kissing, vague descriptions of potentially triggering physical characteristics (Logan is very skinny and Roman notices), (let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: <<none>>

...

A few years had passed. Things weren't perfect, or easy, but they had each other. The three of them had found a one bedroom apartment together, and rent was easy to make with three contributors. They all went to college, Virgil and Roman to an arts school and Janus to a pregrad Law program.

Roman had rehearsals late that evening, and so Janus and Virgil had spent their free afternoon together, preparing dinner for Roman.

A stew (Virgil's family recipe) simmered on the stove, and Janus held Virgil close in his lap on the couch, carding his fingers through his hair. Virgil nuzzled into his boyfriend's collarbone, sighing with a small smile.

"Darling," Janus near-whispered, his voice rumbling in his chest as he pressed his face into Virgil's hair. Virgil hummed.

"Do you know the moment I started loving you?"

Virgil's head shot up, and he looked at Janus with pleading eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't force any words out. Janus smiled at him meekly, running fingers down Virgil's cheek.

"Do you recall," Janus continued, cupping the corner of Virgil's jaw in his hand, "In eighth grade, when I... when I found you between classes..." Virgil nodded, breathing shallowly. Janus pursed his lips. "It may be a bit... irrational for me to say, but... you allowing me to hold you in my arms when you were in such a vulnerable state..." A single tear ran down Virgil's cheek. Janus' brow furrowed, and he swiped the tear away with his thumb. "Oh, my darling, are you okay?"

Virgil made an odd noise, something between a scoff, a sob and a laugh, and suddenly surged forward, intertwining his fingers on the nape of Janus' neck as he connected their lips.

"That's when I knew, too." Virgil said as he pulled away, voice very very low. Janus raised his eyebrows in surprise, a smile teasing at the corners of his mouth. "I knew you'd... keep me safe. I knew I could... trust you with my heart." Virgil swallowed. "Even if it took me another few years to actually... do that."

"We were very young, and... we both made that mistake." Janus admitted readily, bringing his other hand to Virgil's face in symmetry.

"Do you..." Virgil gripped Janus' shirt in his fists, "do you think we would have ever... let it happen, if... if we hadn't met Roman?" Virgil looked back into Janus' eyes. Janus sighed, tracing the bridge of Virgil's nose with his eyes.

"I'm not sure." He conceded eventually.

Virgil adjusted himself, shifting one leg so that he straddled Janus' lap. "It doesn't matter. I don't want to think about not knowing Roman. Or..." or not being able to love you two. Virgil shook his head slowly.

"Then let's not," Janus wrapped his arms around Virgil's waist, and Virgil wrapped his arms around Janus' neck in kind. He made to kiss him with an open mouth, but kept their lips just millimeters apart. Virgil rolled his hips once, and Janus chuckled at him, letting his eyes flutter closed. "Ever a tease, aren't you darling?"

Virgil simply responded by locking his lips with Janus'.

Roman chose that exact moment to open the front door to their apartment with a loud, exasperated groan.

"I give up!" He threw his hands in the air, stomping over to the couch to sit beside Janus, crossing his legs and pouting. "How am I to live?"

Virgil smirked, turning to grab his prince's jaw and press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "What happened, princey?" Janus wrapped one arm around Roman's shoulder, pulling him slightly closer, and Roman began relaying his tale.

An hour ago almost to that exact moment, Roman shook his auburn red hair out, allowing it to roll in its curls in any direction it would like. He stretched down, touching his toes and beginning to walk his hands out, settling into a solid plank before beginning a few pushups.

He stood again with a small jump, readjusting his stage garments. They were simply a pair of black tights and a white undershirt, but the top had rolled up his navel slightly when he'd been stretching.

Rehearsal had all but ended, and he bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for his turn to get unmic'd. He was one of the leads this semester, and so got his mic off last... for some odd reason. Most every production he'd been involved in prior had done things in a reverse fashion to what was happening now, but he didn't mind so much. He loved the feeling of standing on stage with the theatre enclosure all revolving around him. It created a strange comforting and confidence-boosting sensation that he could never get enough of.

Soon enough, his name was called. He hopped quickly offstage, tromping over to the sound booth.

A man with a jarring appearance approached him with tact. Roman had to keep his jaw from dropping, and opted instead to stare until the man was behind him. He payed Roman no mind, never meeting his eyes.

Roman hadn't had time to look closely at the man, but caught a few key details. His hair was glossy and black, plainly slicked back with some sort of product that Roman could smell faintly (vanilla?), save for one or two strands straying across his forehead and resting on the upper rim of his square glasses. He was almost concerningly pale, and his cheeks sunk in slightly. His eyes were a deeply piercing blue. His jawline was subtle and yet extremely sharp; everything about him appeared angular and calculated. He wore a white dress shirt that was a bit ruffled, top two buttons undone to reveal his collarbones - Roman assumed that was intentional, but in full honesty he had no idea.

Suddenly the man's slender hands were up the back of Roman's shirt, and Roman quite nearly squealed before remembering that this was completely standard protocol for unmicing someone. He tried to focus on literally anything else besides the fact that this painfully attractive man had his hands working clinically beneath Roman's shirt, against the heat of his bare skin. His hands were very cold against Roman's back, and Roman very nearly outright shivered at the feeling.

Suddenly the hands were no longer up Roman's shirt, and the man walked around to Roman's front, beginning to carefully untangle the mic cord from Roman's hair.

The boy was almost a head taller than Roman, roughly the same height as his Janus, Roman guessed. There was a very faint dusting of tiny dark freckles splayed across his cheeks and nose, and there were little flecks of gray and white in his eyes, almost like a cloudy sky. His jaw was set, but his hands moved gently. Roman tried not to gasp when he finally looked down at him, eyebrows knit.

"You're all set, Roman," the man said, eyeing Roman strangely before receding back to the sound booth to begin sorting through and putting away the mic packs.

"Thank you," Roman breathed, and kicked himself internally for how small and weak his voice came out. He shook his hair out again, trying to clear his head of the onset of gay panic he'd just experienced.

It's now or never; you might not get another chance at an actual conversation with this guy until the production is over. Roman steeled himself and took a few hesitant steps towards the sound booth.

"I didn't catch your name," Roman leaned a little too casually on the door frame, almost stumbling. the boy smirked, apparently not needing to turn and look at Roman to know that he was making a fool of himself.

"I did not figuratively 'throw' it," he replied coolly, continuing to work with the stacks of mic packs that had accumulated on the desk before him.

"Well, I would greatly appreciate if you did. It seems unfair for you to know my name and I not know yours." Roman thought for a moment when he was met with silence. "And you don't need to say figuratively; I know you didn't literally throw your name."

The boy turned then, adjusting his glasses as he sized Roman up. "A little clarity has never hurt anybody."

They looked at each other for a long moment, Roman still leaning haphazardly on the doorframe. The taller boy sighed a laugh quietly through his nose.

"Logan." He said, shaking his head with a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. "My name is Logan."

Roman smiled, standing up properly and clapping his hands together. "Wonderful! Logan, my dear, my sweet," Roman began verbally serenading him, and Logan only scoffed at his antics, long used to the ridiculously over-the-top confidence that actors had, "would you do me the honor of allowing me to take you out for coffee some time?" He bowed dramatically low, holding one hand out to Logan.

Logan stared for a moment, and Roman looked up when Logan didn't react to his proposal. Logan only laughed through his nose again, shaking his head slightly.

"I'm afraid I must decline."

Roman snapped up into a standing position, scoffing loudly. "Truly?" he stared at Logan, who just looked at him once more, nodding slightly. Roman scoffed again, even louder. "I- I don't know what to say! Not once have my highly sought out charms been resisted so strongly!" He gripped his shirt over his heart in a dramatic gesture, getting on one knee and reaching out to Logan, who was putting away the last few mic packs. "And that may not seem like much to say, since I have only ever used them on two others... however I-" Logan cut him off with a very very intense stare. And Roman all but swooned.

"I appreciate the... offer, Roman," Logan slung his backpack over his shoulder, which jutted out against the thin fabric of his shirt in a quite boney fashion, "but I have no interest in..." Logan looked Roman up and down slowly, but disgust was nowhere to be seen on his face. Something more similar to heartbreak, however, was palpable as Roman watched Logan's eyes.

Logan never found the words, opting to sigh and begin pacing out of the theatre.

"Wait," Roman whispered mostly to himself, reaching out vaguely in the direction Logan had left in.

...

"And that's why I have officially given up on love," Roman, his storytelling concluded, buried his face in Virgil's shirt, mimicking a sob as his boyfriends laughed at him endearingly.

"Roman, my dear," Janus took Roman's hand in his own, kissing his knuckles gently, "I expect that you'll see this Logan again soon. I'm positively baffled that he managed to evade your charms this time," Janus gripped Roman's jaw with an uncharacteristic tenderness, "but i sincerely doubt he'll last long." Janus pressed a kiss onto Roman's lips, and then removed Virgil from his lap, standing and righting himself. "For now, however," He reached a hand out to his boyfriends to help them stand, "We have a stew to attend to."

[witcherslittledove]

Beard

I wrote this at 3am last night. It took me 9 hours to write because I was that distracted by the beard. Lovingly beta'd by @jaskiertheflowertwink

Ship: Joey Batey/Henry Cavill

Summary: Joey has a beard... like that's the plot.

Rated: T (this time)

CW: RPF

On AO3

I probably won't have tag lists but @a-gay-loverrr asked so how could I say no.

It had been months since Henry had last seen Joey. They’d finished wrapping season two of the Witcher earlier in the year and they’d both been busy with other projects. That wasn’t usually a problem for Henry, he was used to seeing his co-stars on and off between projects but for some reason he was missing Joey more than any of the others. Sure they’d been close on set, but Henry often felt an almost familial bond with his castmates. Joey was different. There was this unspoken tension between them that had been there since the read through of the first season, but neither of them had acted on it. Dating co-stars was never a good idea, especially when you didn’t know how long you would be working with them.

And Henry really didn’t want to fuck things up with Joey.

They were best friends on and off the set, and he missed him.

So watching backstage at the recording of Witchercon was, well, it was a surprise. Henry was glad he wasn’t on the stage for the recording because the noise he made was inhuman. He didn’t even know he could make that noise.

The beard.

Fucking hell.

Henry hadn’t seen much of Joey’s work outside of the witcher, he simply didn’t have time, so he’d only really seen Joey’s clean shaven Jaskier.

But the beard.

“Fuck,” he groaned and ran a hand through his hair, not caring about what the hair and make up.

Joey was working but already Henry was itching to pull out his phone and call his bard. He just looked so fucking hot. The beard was so thick, and his arms…

Shit. How had he forgotten how muscular Joey was underneath the costumes?

And just like that all the feelings he’d been suppressing flew to the surface. Henry groaned, burying his face in his hands. You didn’t date co-workers. He couldn’t date Joey, but fuck he wanted him. He wanted to know how soft the beard felt under his fingers, the brush of the bristles against his cheeks, and stolen kisses on set, in the trailers, behind the cameras.

His phone was in his hands before he could stop himself and he didn’t even register finding Joey’s number but it was ringing. With every second that Joey didn’t answer, Henry felt his anxiety spike. It had been a stupid idea, he knew Joey was working, but he had to try, on the off chance that his bard was answer.

What would he even say?

Henry would be the first to admit he was pretty useless without a script. Even his interviews were semi-scripted, he had a good idea of what the questions would be and he prepared his answers. There was no script for this, no lines to cut, no Joey to pick up in his silences.

He cursed and was about to hang up when the line clicked.

“Henry?”

“Joey?”

“Is- Is everything alright? Isn’t the stream happening now? Oh cock, did I fuck up?” Joey started to spiral and Henry knew he had to cut Joey off but he had no coherent thoughts.

“Beard.”

“What?”

“Fuck,” Henry swore, clenching his fist and he almost knocked his chair flying as he stood up in a rush.

Why the fuck had he said that? ‘Beard’. What did that even mean? He should have brought Kal with him. His beloved dog always helped to calm his nerves and it would have been something to talk about. Joey loved Kal almost as much as Henry did and it certainly would have been a better start to a conversation than ‘Beard’.

“I- ah, I like your beard,” he said, still stumbling over the words. “It suits you. A lot.”

“Oh god, it’s fucking annoying. I can’t stop scratching it, and it’s bloody hot… wait what? Did you just say you like it?”

Henry felt his cheeks heat up and he resisted the urge to hang up again. There would be no salvaging this if he hung up now, but honestly he was praying that the ground would swallow him whole, like the Selkiemore from season one. “Yeah. It’s a good look on you, Joey.”

“Huh. Are- are you flirting with me Henry? I mean, it’s fine if you’re not but- but I really want to make sure I’m not reading this wrong because it sounds a teensy bit like you are, and, ah- umm… well…”

“I’m flirting with you. Trying to at least. Is it working?”

“Yes. Cock. I said that too fast. I should have tried to act all cool,” Joey whined.

Henry chuckled, the weight on his shoulders lifting as the tightness in his chest eased. “I think I prefer you just as you are.”

“With a beard?” Joey laughed, the sound brightening Henry’s day more than anything else.

“Fuck yes,” Henry groaned. “When I’m done with this I’m coming to see you,” he paused, “if you want?”

“Darling, I would like nothing more.”

[deceitfullyanxioussss]

Must Have Been the Wind

Hey guys! I kinda already posted this on my ao3 a few months ago and just realized I forgot to post it here as well so like, here you go I guess lmao

Summary: Remus goes back to his apartment and wants a nap after a bad day at work. Instead, he finds he is kept up by some very troubling sounds coming from the room above his.Remus decides he wants to help this stranger.

Song fic! Must Have Been the Wind - Alec Benjamin

CW: Cursing, and uh, Remus being Remus ig? Oh, and minor homophobic character (Lemme know if I need to add more)

Proof-read by @queroze, thank you again, even though this was a while ago lol

Remus let out a huff of breath, feeling his tense muscles relax as he practically melded into the couch. The plan was for him to catch a nice nap after his exhausting day at work.

   He was a barista at a coffee shop, which usually wasn’t too bad. He liked his job. Often, he even found it relaxing.

   However, there can be days that are just the exact opposite of relaxing.

   It seemed as though every customer he came across that day woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Oh, and don’t even get him started on the Karens. The Karens were nearly impossible to deal with.

   A frown slipped on his face, recounting the worst part of his day. There was a very verbal homophobe who came in today.

   Remus was very openly gay and always wore a pride pin on his apron next to his name. He had the unfortunate luck of having to take, and make his order. He probably had to stand there for a full 5 minutes, just listening to his lecture about how wrong gay sex is. Remus was able to shut him up by reminding him of the line behind him.

   It didn’t end there though.

   A lesbian couple walked in not long later, hand in hand. It didn’t take long for it to catch the attention of this man, who immediately jumped at the chance to pull another 500 slide PowerPoint out of his ass.

   The rest of his co-workers decided that he had to be ushered out of the shop. Nothing about getting him to leave was easy though, not in the slightest. He went out yelling and cursing the whole way.

    The two girls were very lovely though, they had a nice conversation about the upcoming pride event, and he was more than happy to give them both free refills on him.

    So he guessed the day wasn’t all bad, but it still seemed to drag him out as if he was dough under a roller, crunching off of his bones into powder and flattening all his veins against his skin.

     Yes, a nap seems like a good idea.

     Remus’s eyes fluttered closed, fatigue quickly overtaking his body.

   Just then, a sharp, yet muffled noise cut through the serenity of silence.

   Some barely-conscious part of his mind gained interest in this sound.

   What was that? It kind of sounded like glass.  It had murmured through its TV static atmosphere.

   The rest of his mind, nearly completely asleep, wordlessly communicated that it was probably nothing, and he should just focus on sleeping.

   That seemed to calm his brain enough to settle down.

There was a little sliver of his mind that wasn’t quite ready to let go of the sound yet, though. It kept listening, even if undetected by the rest of the brain. It seemed right to do so, as muffled sounds of yelling and sobbing registered through its cloudy state.

   It was then Remus blearily pried his eyelids open and sat up.

   The fuck?  Remus groaned internally, forcing his body into an acceptable sitting position. Confusion stuck onto his brain like wrinkled cling wrap as he tried to make any sense of the hazy world around him.

   A loud thud was heard from the floor above, followed by an emotionally drained cry.

   Remus grunted and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion.

   For maybe just a split second, his heart felt sympathy for the person, but he was just so tired. It’s not like it was his problem, right? He could just ignore it and go back to sleep.

   He flipped over on his side so his head faced the back of his sickly green couch and closed his eyes, trying his best to draw his attention away from the sounds upstairs.

   He must have laid there for a good while, trying and failing to push the sounds to the back of his head, his anxiety amping up little by little the longer the crying persisted.

   Eventually, Remus let out a loud, guttural sigh and stood up swiftly. He couldn’t just ignore them, he had to help.

   Making the decision, he walked towards his coat-rack and hastily tossed his jacket over his shoulders, bee-lining to the elevator.

   He silently curses the elevator for being so slow as he restlessly waited for the doors to push open, and when they do he wasted no time getting in and selecting floor 2.

   Remus usually enjoyed the tacky elevator music, but he found it only served to tick him off this time around. The music seemed to drag time out even slower and he was already so, so restless.

   Ding.

   With that, he stepped out and eagerly trodded down the hallways, stopping in front of the desired location. He raised a hand and knocked on the door with little hesitation, the anxious tapping of his foot echoed within the empty halls.

   Remus listened with rapt attention through the door, hearing as the person inside scrambled to make themself look even the slightest bit presentable.

   He waited impatiently, his gaze anxiously wandering around for some sort of distraction or stimulation. They landed on the grossly patterned navy blue carpet, look completed by the numerous stains that have accumulated over the years. Finding little interest there, he moved onto the walls. The dim, sparse lighting made the colour look like a shit brown. Impulsively, he reached to run his fingers along the many indents that found a home among the distasteful brown. The tactile stimulation instantly captured his focus, and he let the rough surface soothe him.

   Remus, too caught up in the stimulation, had forgotten his original purpose of being there. He startled back to reality upon hearing the soft click from the door. He immediately snapped his head back up, being met with a pair of mismatched eyes and a scarred face. This person was looking up at him with what he thought was supposed to be a confident expression. The effect was dampened by his pink-ish eyes, mussed hair, and the pastel yellow sweater he had hooked all the way up to his chin.

   Remus gave the other a small wave, just then realizing he had no game plan. Did he just… ask? Did he make small talk first? Should he invite him to his coffee shop for a drink and talk there?

   The other reciprocated the wave, smirking. “How may I help you, sir?” He asked politely

   Remus cleared his throat, deciding he should just be direct with this conversation. He was never really good at softening his approach anyway.

   “Hey, so, basically I heard something shatter and a lot of crying and yelling and I was kinda concerned about it, so I came to ask if you were ok.”

   The two men stared at each other for a few seconds before Remus spoke up again. “So, are you ok?”

   He heard the other snicker quietly, a gloved hand waving as if to dismiss the question. “Oh, my. That’s ridiculous. Your ears must be playing tricks on you, my dear.”

   Remus took notice of how he subtly buried his face deeper into the sweater.

   His attention was brought back up as the scarred man spoke again.

   “Thank you for caring, sir, it’s very kind of you, but I have some urgent work to get back to. I wish I could tell you about the noise, but I'm afraid I didn’t hear a thing.” He shook his head. “Perhaps it was merely a harsh gust of wind.” He suggested.

   Remus let out a quiet sigh, but nodded and accepted the answer.

   The two waved each other farewell as Remus trudged back to the elevator.

Remus had been laying down, back pressed hard against the cold concrete of the floor. The chill from beneath seeped in through his spine and into his chest, weighing him down heavily. He just couldn’t stop thinking about his upstairs neighbor.

   It had been hours since his last visit already, and the man upstairs was still pacing across his apartment, occasionally he would stop and silence would follow. The pacing always started back up though.

   Absent-mindedly, his hands fiddled with the necklace around his neck, running his fingers across the cool, smooth metal.

   He just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, and he wanted to help.

   Remus knew that he didn’t have all the facts, and he didn’t really want to intrude on the man’s life. There was a possibility that nothing was wrong, and he was  just imagining things. He didn’t want to pester his neighbor with his stupid, false worries.

   But what if something is wrong?   You saw his puffy eyes. You know you heard those sounds.  His mind kept telling him.  You can’t just leave him alone, can you?

   Remus nodded to himself and for the second time that day, stood and made his way back to the other’s door. More hesitantly this time, he knocked. His raps were slow and unsure as he swayed nervously from side-to-side.

   He heard the pacing stop, and he waited, his focus on nothing but his shoes this time around. Then he heard footsteps approach the door and he looked up just as the door swung open.

   He was met with the same mismatched eyes, messy hair, and sweater. He didn't forget to take note of the new eye bags and odor he’s sporting with him though.

   “Oh, it’s you again.” the nervousness of his neighbor's voice managed to carry through despite the fabric covering his mouth.

   Remus ran a hand through his hair and looked to the side. “Yeah.” he chuckled unsurely.

   “I just- I’m still worried,” he said, smile falling. “I know you said you were fine, but… I just felt the need to check again. It’s- those sounds- they’re not leaving me alone.” he tentatively looked up into the other’s eyes. “Are- Are you sure you’re ok?”

   Remus is pretty sure he saw the scarred side of his face twitch, probably in annoyance he’s sure. He knew it was a bad idea to come back up. He was always such a bother, even to his own family. What made him think a stranger would appreciate seeing his face twice in one day?

   “Yes.” the answer cut through Remus’s thoughts and redirected his attention. “I am absolutely positive that everything’s fine.” There was a hint of irritation that Remus desperately wished he didn’t hear.

   “Once again, thank you for caring, it’s very kind. Truly. But I really do have some urgent work to get back to. I wish I could help you with the noise, but I didn’t hear a thing. In fact, I’m almost certain it was just the wind. You need to stop worrying so much over such a trivial thing.”

   Remus’s body became hot with shame as he shrunk in on himself. He nodded at the man before he sluggishly made his way back.

The following morning, he didn’t even bother with breakfast. Immediately going over to slouch on his couch, he stared back up at the ceiling. It seemed to be a new favourite hobby of his apparently.

   He had a lot of time to think about the previous night, about his last interaction with the man upstairs.

    There was no way those sounds were from his imagination. He was in a groggy state when he heard the yelling, sure, but surely the pacing wasn't something his ears made up. Surely, the messy hair and puffy eyes weren't something his eyes made up.

   His mind carefully brought up the idea of confronting him again, but he quickly winced and scrapped the idea. The irritated voice of the other causing his gut to lurch in a nauseating way.

   He was most certainly not going to be looking him in the eyes for a good while now.

   He was starting to break through the surface though, right? Maybe he should just call it quits and admit that he can't help.

   He couldn't just go back up again, he didn't think he could take the ice-cold, biting irritation again.

   Remus sat, rolling the interactions over in his head. Whoever said anything about a letter?  A lightbulb sparked, setting an explosion through his body that jolted him up from his seat with a gasp.

   "A letter! That's so simple! I don't have to face him again, and he doesn't have to feel as much pressure! I'm a fucking genius!" He yelled, pumping his fists into the air with triumphant gusto.

He rushed over to his desk, brimming with excitement as he began to write.

   In Remus's very distinct, messily scrawled printing, he began:

   Sup Mr Scarface! (I haven't even thought to ask your name yet lmao)

   Listen up nerd! I  promise  I'm not playing tricks on you when I say this

   You’re  always  welcome to come in

   You could stay here for an hour or two if you ever need a friend. We can talk about the noise when you’re ready

   But… til then I’ll say it must have been the wind.

   Yours sincerely, annoying dude from yesterday ;)

   Remus let out a long, pleased sigh as he gave it a quick once-over. He saw many mistakes, but he gave them not even a second glance before he was already out of the door.

   He was going to deliver this letter and it was going to be wonderful!

Remus shucked his jacket off and onto his coat-rack upon returning from work the following day. It had been a pretty good day today. No awful homophobes, that's for sure.

   Turning his T.V. on for background noise, he moved over to his miniature kitchen. Distantly aware of a news reporter talking about some murder, he got started on his rice and gravy.

   Perhaps 10 minutes passed by when he heard a gentle rapping on the front door.

   Remus curiously strode over and opened his door, surprised to see the man from upstairs in front of him.

   "Oh, wow. Hey there, dude! Didn't expect to actually see ya this soon!" Remus exclaims.

   "I, uh, yeah…" the scarred man shifted in place for a few moments, burying his face into his sweater. "If the, uh, offer is still open, I’d love to have someone to talk to,” he mumbled through the thick fabric.

   Remus stood and processed the words for a few seconds before grinning widely.

   "Of course! Of course! Come on in, my man! Lunch will be done in a bit if you want some!”

   The other smiled and shyly slunk into his apartment

   "I’d love that.” He said. “Thank you.”

   "Not a problem at all! My name's Remus by the way!" He excitedly extended a hand for the other to shake.

   Said man looked at his hand for a moment or two before carefully clasping his own around it.

   Even more carefully, his shy voice spilled a simple name. "...Janus."

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

My Eyes - Part 14

Pairing: Bucky; Steve x Fem/Reader

Word Count: 4,701

Story Description: Steve is a good man, America’s golden boy, a hero. He’s Captain America for christ’s sake! So it’s normal to want what he has… right? Bucky knows he doesn’t deserve her. He doesn’t even deserve the second chance at life he’s been given. But Bucky can never let him know. Steve can never find out that his friend is in love with his best girl.

Story takes place post “CA: CW” and all tension has been resolved.

Previously On…

-- 3 YEARS LATER

A car horn beeped outside. Jimmy came bounding down the stairs with his backpack.

“Hey! Please eat some breakfast before you go!” Y/N called out to her teenage son.

“I’m not hungry. And Bucky packed me a huge lunch.” Jimmy called over his shoulder before bounding out the front door. But he came back seconds later and quickly he poured himself a cup of coffee to go.

“I got you addicted to that stuff too soon. Don’t you know it’ll stunt your growth?” Y/N teased her son.

Jimmy scoffed. He took a few steps towards the door again, but turned around and hurriedly gave his mom a kiss on the cheek. “Love you, mom.” Then he was sprinting out the door once again.

Y/N had her knees pulled up to her chest as she sipped on her own cup of coffee. She sighed and looked up at Bucky, who had watched the usual morning routine with ease. “I don’t know how the hell that kid grew into a giant without eating the most important meal of the day.” She stated sarcastically.  

Jimmy, quickly on his way to turning 16, had finally showed just how much of the super-serum gene he had inherited. He was even taller than Steve had been, reaching a towering height of 6’3. He was no longer the smallest kid in class; he was the tallest. His physique grew just as much as his height. Jimmy looked more like a professional athlete in his mid-twenties than a teenager going through puberty. His cute, boyish face turned into a handsome young man. Jimmy definitely didn’t miss out on Steve’s good looks.

Y/N called him a gentle giant. For as big and terrifying as Jimmy looked, he was still terribly shy and kindhearted.

But the move had given Jimmy the change he needed. He was still an outsider at school, but he had good friends. His best friend was Luke, who just happened to be openly gay; sadly, a rarity in the small town. He was the person that drove Jimmy to school everyday, already having his license and a car. For a while, Y/N believed there was a possibility Jimmy and him were secretly dating. Bucky quickly shot down her suspicions.

“How can you be so sure?” Y/N whined. “Gaydar wasn’t even a thing in your day. I think I know better than you.”

Bucky smiled at her frustration. “Trust me, doll. Jimmy and Luke are only friends.” He kissed her cheek. “He’s just terrified of girls…just like his dad.”

Y/N gave him a small smile at that. “For the record, I don’t care who he likes. I just don’t want him to ever think he has to keep secrets from me.”

“I know, Y/N.” Bucky chuckled.

Bucky had moved into Y/N’s house two years after her and Jimmy returned to New York. He had never been happier. Y/N and Jimmy had become the family he had always dreamed of having. They were so close to the Avenger’s facility that various teammates stopped by pretty much whenever.

Jimmy was constantly going over there as well. His abilities had developed not long after his terrifying fever that caused the move in the first place.

It turned out that Jimmy could control the density of his body. He could walk through a wall one second and the next he’d solidify his skin enough to stop a bullet.

To everyone’s surprise, Vision was the person to help Jimmy control his abilities more than anyone. Wanda was helpful too.

Tony tried to convince Y/N that Jimmy should just be homeschooled. The teenage boy learned more from the team than any school ever could. Jimmy could speak Spanish, French, German, and Russian fluently. He could even understand Wanda’s Sokovian… but wouldn’t consider himself fluent in speaking it himself.

Y/N asked Jimmy if homeschooling was what he wanted. But Jimmy knew how important it was to his mom that he had a normal childhood. They compromised with him going to a normal public school, as long as he could go to the Avengers’ compound as much as he wanted.

Y/N suspected that Peter Parker had something to do with it. He was in his late twenties now and knew what it was like to be special during adolescence. Sometimes New York’s friendly neighborhood spider was better at giving Jimmy personal advice than Y/N or Bucky.

Bucky now sat next to Y/N at the kitchen table with his own cup of coffee. “You know, Tony recently mentioned something about getting Jimmy a car for his 16th birthday.”

Y/N’s head snapped to him. “You better tell him that is absolutely not happening!” She immediately pictured Tony buying Jimmy a sports scar that cost more than their house.

“I tried, doll. But he just kept promising that it would be used and beat up.” Bucky smirked at the ridiculousness.

Y/N rubbed her face and groaned. She was still waking up. Her eyes were even still puffy with sleep. “Ugh…when is Tony going to stop acting like our financial backer?”

“Probably never.” Bucky pointed out with a chuckle.

Y/N shook her head, trying to get her mind to move on. “When’s your first class today?”

“Not until 5:30 tonight. But I promised Sam I’d go to the V.A. with him in a couple of hours.”

Thanks to Y/N’s guidance, Bucky’s retirement was filled with meaning. He taught self-defense classes consistently. Every once in awhile he would visit schools and be met with kids screaming in excitement. Sam also got him to visit the V.A sometimes. Bucky was somewhat of a poster child there, proving that things could get better for soldiers struggling to adjust back into civilian life.

Meanwhile, Y/N managed to work at the local library again. But she continued her art therapy sessions at a new community center too. After she realized how much it was helping children, she couldn’t imagine sitting back and doing nothing.

No matter how the two of them spent their days, Jimmy was always their main focus. For Bucky it was Jimmy and Y/N. Every day he woke up with her in his arms and wondered how the hell he got so lucky. Once in awhile, he would have a bad day: his mind would start convincing him that he was unworthy of this life of happiness. But Y/N always managed to talk him away from the ledge.

“What’s on your schedule today?” Bucky asked her.

“My day is completely free.” Y/N sighed in content. It was a rarity.

“Are you finally going to finish that stack of books you brought home?” Bucky asked mindlessly as he stared at the newspaper in front of him.

Y/N watched him for a moment. Bucky was still as handsome as ever. His scruff seemed to be a permanent fixture. His hair was in a messy bun on the back of his neck. One would never guess that he was retired seeing as his muscles were just as big as when he was a brainwashed Hydra killer.

“No. I definitely don’t want to read right now.” Y/N breathed mischievously.

Then she slowly got up from her seat and straddled Bucky. He didn’t seem as surprised by the gesture as she anticipated. Guess that’s what she gets for being with a trained assassin. Her hands rubbed his scruff and then brushed a piece of hair behind his ear that escaped his bun. His grip had immediately wrapped around her waist. His metal hand went under her t-shirt causing a chill to go down her spine.  

“I had other plans.” Y/N added.

Bucky grinned up at her. “Is that so?”

“You said you didn’t have to meet up with Sam for a couple hours…” Her voice was seductive and then her lips were climbing up the side of his neck.

He nodded, sometimes her seductions still made him speechless. Then he felt her lust drifting off through her empath abilities. Y/N knew it drove him crazy: knowing exactly what she wanted was a turn-on that Bucky could never describe.

Not being able to take the teasing any longer, Bucky captured her lips and pulled her body closer to his.

Y/N yelped slightly when Bucky roughly brushed his chair back and stood up. She giggled when he kept her body tightly in his grasp. Her legs automatically wrapped around his waist as he carried her to their bedroom.

---

Bucky must have accidentally fallen asleep post-coitus. He woke up naked and alone in their bed with the sheets tangled around his body. His instincts made him sit up quickly. Waking up without Y/N always caused him distress. A sensitivity he didn’t like admitting to her. “Y/N?” He called out sleepily. There was no answer.

Bucky got up from the bed and moved to the window of their bedroom. It looked out into the backyard that was more of a forest than anything. His stress instantly disappeared when he saw Y/N in her greenhouse.

When she and Jimmy moved back, Bucky built it for her. He knew she missed her house in Montana; it was a sanctuary she built all on her own. Y/N had almost cried when he showed it to her. She made a garden right next to it too.

Bucky had a small smile as he watched for another moment before throwing on a pair of jeans, not bothering with boxers or a shirt.

He thought he’d made his footsteps loud and known, but Y/N still hadn’t heard his entrance to the greenhouse. He leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed, observing her.

Y/N’s brow was furrowed, proving she was deep in thought. She just wore a silky robe. Bucky knew that was the only thing covering her body.

“Everything okay?” Bucky asked softly.

Y/N couldn’t help but jump.

“I tried to be loud.” Bucky apologized. His sly tendencies were a constant annoyance to her. She hated being frightened and Bucky was just too quiet.

She ignored him and continued whatever she was working on before he interrupted.

“What are you doing?” Bucky walked further into the greenhouse.

“Ugh…trying to figure out how to plant these things.” She mumbled without looking up at him.

Bucky looked at the discarded packaging on a table. It was peppermint, ginger root, and slippery elm. His eyes narrowed. She never planted anything like that before.

He looked at her again and started becoming concerned as he saw the tension in Y/N’s body. He gently cupped her cheek. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

She finally acknowledged him. Her body relaxed a bit by his touch.

Bucky’s eyes were filled with concerned as he tried to read her mind. “Did I do something wrong while we were…” He was too much of a gentleman to finish his question.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong…” Y/N sighed.

“Why aren’t you still in bed with me, doll?” Bucky urged.

“James, I-I have something to tell you…” She whispered. Her hand instinctively reached for his and pulled it away from her cheek so she could grasp it for comfort.

He nodded.

“But I have no idea how to tell you.” She admitted, shaking her head slightly.

“Alright, you’re starting to scare me, Y/N. Please, just tell me. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together.” Bucky assured her.

Y/N closed her eyes tight as if it was going to make her braver. “Right, okay!” She opened them and got lost in his blue irises. “I’m pregnant.” Her voice was such a whisper that Bucky wasn’t sure he would have caught it without his enhanced hearing.

He stared at her for a second and tried to figure out if this was cruel joke or something. But her face remained terrified, waiting for his reaction.

Then tears filled Bucky’s eyes and his new smile was beaming. “You’re pregnant?” He whispered in utter bliss.

Y/N still didn’t look relieved. But a nervous smirk slipped onto her lips and she nodded. “Yeah, Buck.”

Bucky lifted her up in the air and spun her in a circle. She couldn’t help but giggle at the reaction. When he put her down, he pressed his forehead to hers. “You’re sure?” He whispered. There went that dark part of his mind again, always struggling to believe in the good things that happened to him.

Y/N nodded. “Yes. After taking about three different pregnancy tests, I went to the doctor while you and Jimmy were on a hike.”

Bucky frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me then, Y/N?”

Their foreheads were still touching, but Y/N’s gaze fell to the ground in shame. “I-I didn’t know what you’d feel. We didn’t plan this and we never discussed it.” Then her expression darkened. “I don’t really have a good track record of telling people I’m pregnant.”

That’s when Bucky really understood her fear. It was coming off of her in waves now, whether she realized it or not. The last time Y/N told a man she was having his child, he died a few seconds later. She watched the life disappear from Steve’s eyes a moment after she told him she was bringing another into the world.

Bucky pulled Y/N into his chest. “Oh, doll. I’m so happy. Can’t you feel it?” He whispered as he stroked her hair.

Then a thought suddenly occurred to him. He pulled back to look at her and gripped her chin. How could he be so selfish?

“Is this what you want?” He asked her seriously.

“What? Having a child with you?” Y/N asked playfully. But she knew what he was really asking. “Of course. I’ve secretly wanted it for a while now, actually. I guess I should’ve told you.”

Bucky always speculated that he couldn’t have kids. Unlike Steve, he had been in and out of cryo so many times and Hydra had tortured him in so many ways. Bucky couldn’t help but convince himself that he was sterile.

Y/N probably kept her little desire to herself to protect Bucky. If they openly started trying and nothing happened, she knew he would only blame himself.

Bucky leaned closer to her once again, his hands mesmerizing her waist. “Y/N,” His voice was soft, yet husky. He kissed her passionately. “Marry me? Please?”

“Ew, Bucky.” Y/N pushed him away. “This isn’t the 1940s. You don’t need a shotgun wedding when you get your girlfriend pregnant anymore.”

But his face was serious. “It’s not about the pregnancy, Y/N. You know that.”

“Still a no.” Y/N chuckled and went back to her herbs.

This had become a game between them. Every once in awhile, when the moment arose, Bucky would propose to Y/N. It was always an intimate affair, always followed by her doing something that set a spark into his heart.

But Y/N never gave in. Yes, she had always wanted to settle down with Steve: raise a family and disappear from the public eye. But marriage was never a requirement or a desire for her.

Despite them viewing it as their little game, Bucky said ever proposal with the utmost sincerity.

But Y/N was a modern woman. Marriage held less and less meaning in society. She didn’t think it changed anything in a relationship. If you love someone, you love them. A piece of paper didn’t prove anything.  

“You don’t even have to change your last name.” Bucky would plead.

“We don’t need to have a wedding. We can just elope!” He would point out.

“If it’s the money for a ring, I already have my mother’s. Those Smithsonian assholes still had it.”

Y/N tried to understand why Bucky was so insistent. Obviously marriage was a much bigger deal in his heyday. But there had to be something else, and she had yet to figure it out.

“Can I borrow your phone?” Bucky asked, seeing it sit on a nearby phone.

She nodded and handed it to him.

Bucky stepped outside for a moment.

Y/N eyed him curiously. “Who did you just call?”

“Sam. Told him you were sick so I couldn’t go to the V.A. with him.”

She smiled, realizing that she wanted to bask in their little secret together for as long as they could.

Bucky wrapped his arms around her from behind. His hands graced her stomach, feeling her in a new way now that he knew there was a life waiting in there…A life that he helped create.

Bucky kissed her neck. ���I know we were already successful. But I think we should keep trying, just to be safe.” He mumbled into ear before pressing a kiss in the soft skin behind it.

“Buck,” Y/N giggled. “We were never trying.”

“Exactly!” Bucky exclaimed softly. “We’re already behind.” Then he softly turned her around and embraced her with a loving kiss. Y/N squeaked when he scooped her up in his arms.

They were almost back in the house when Y/N smiled naughtily up at him. “It’s good that you’ll be around. If I’ve learned anything from last time, it’s that I get extremely horny when I’m pregnant.”

As if Bucky needed any further encouragement.

“Yep. It’s decided. You’re not leaving this house for the next 9 months.” Bucky growled. There were few sounds that could arouse Y/N more.

---

“Bucky?”

He didn’t hear.

“Bucky?”

The road hypnotized him.  

“James?” Y/N finally said urgently as she gripped his bicep.

He finally tore his gaze away from the highway to look at Y/N.

“You okay?” Her eyes were so tender and genuine as she asked.

Bucky sometimes forgot that she could feel everything inside of him if she wanted to. Y/N was too kind and polite to invade his privacy like that. But during times like these, she overlooked her principles. Nevertheless she always gave him a chance to tell her with his own words first.

“Just nervous.” Bucky mumbled.

“You’ve hung out with my family multiple times. I don’t understand what you think is going to happen.” Y/N smiled softly and gave his shoulder a little squeeze.

Yes, Bucky had interacted with her family on multiple occasions: Jimmy and Y/N’s birthdays, the holidays, and Jimmy’s middle school graduation. But he always assumed they were just being pleasant and nice to keep the peace with Y/N. She had already been through so much. They weren’t going to stop her from loving someone new after all this time. Her and Jimmy’s happiness were all they cared about.

But now that Y/N was pregnant again…pregnant with his child, maybe they wouldn’t be so pleasant. Bucky would be a permanent fixture in their life, whether it worked out with Y/N and him or not. But Bucky would die before he did anything to destroy their relationship or let it slip through his grasp.

“Yeah, Bucky. Now that I’m a hormonal teenager, they have nothing cute to fuss over. Grandma and Grandpa will freak out.” Jimmy said from the backseat.

Now Bucky felt guilty for not only worrying Y/N, but Jimmy too.

“I’m fine. I promise.” He announced to the car. Then he reached over and held Y/N’s hand to further assure her. She gripped it and sent calming waves with her empath power. He couldn’t deny that it felt good.

Y/N practically jumped out as soon as Bucky put the car in park. She missed her family so much. Seeing them a couple times a year was never enough. She was already inside the house before Bucky or Jimmy even unbuckled their seatbelts.

“Hey, Buck?” Jimmy asked quietly.

Towards the end of middle school, he had eventually dropped the Uncle part of his title.

They had a moment alone in the driveway.

Bucky had to slightly look up at Jimmy after his ridiculous growth spurt.

“I know my mom’s been stressing about how all of this affects me and everything.” Jimmy started. “I just wanted to say, I’m really happy for both of you.” He was looking at his feet and shifting as he shared the sentiment. Just like his dad, he had a good heart but wasn’t always the best at voicing it with confidence.

Bucky smiled at the boy. “Come here, punk.” He shoved him roughly into a hug.

When he pulled away, he gestured toward the house. “Think your grandpa will try to shoot me when we tell him?” Bucky joked.

Jimmy smirked. “Definitely not. But if he brings out a gun, I promise I’ll protect you.” He pestered before walking around him and entering the house.

---

“Honey, are you sure don’t want any wine? Not even with dessert?” Y/N’s mom asked once again at the dinner.

“I’m fine, mom.” Y/N whined. She looked across the table to see her older sister eyeing her suspiciously. Then her eyes shifted to Bucky, who was sitting to her left. He instantly knew this was their cue. His hand slid into hers for support. “Actually, we have news to tell you…”

Y/N’s mom dropped her fork dramatically. “Are you two getting married?” She practically shrieked in excitement.

Bucky’s jaw clenched at the comment.

Once again, Y/N sent him a swell of calmness and squeezed his hand.

“No…we’re not getting married, mom.” Y/N sighed, completely unfazed by her incorrect guess. “But don’t blame Bucky. It’s not for a lack of trying on his end.”

The whole family looked confused… even Jimmy, who was unaware of Bucky’s constant proposals.

Y/N cleared her throat. “I’m… ugh... I’m pregnant.”

“I knew it.” Her older sister smirked. “You never turn down wine.” Y/N playfully glared at her. “Congratulations, sissy.” She added sweetly.

“Oh, that’s just wonderful!” Y/N’s mom screamed in excitement. Then she was moving around the table to hug Y/N and, to Bucky’s surprise, she went right for him immediately after.

Y/N’s dad, who was much quieter and bad with expressing affection, just smiled at Y/N from across the table.

Bucky watched their exchange carefully, realizing that they were having some kind of unspoken conversation. He suddenly felt guilty for their announcement not being an engagement. Lord knows he was trying. Steve never had to deal with the possible disapproval from Y/N’s parents for having a kid without being married. Bucky wondered if he was going to take twice the blame this time around.

Y/N’s mother was practically cheering as she went into the kitchen to get dessert and somehow managed to drag her husband with her. Y/N’s sister and Jimmy disappeared to watch a movie in the living room together.

“I told you they would be happy.” Y/N whispered to Bucky before giving him a quick peck.

He gave her a shy smile before pulling her in for another kiss.

“I thought you’d be more relieved.” Y/N’s smile faltered when she could tell that something was still bothering him. “Buck, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m happy.” He kissed her again, prolonging it this time.

“Gross. Get a room.” Jimmy joked as he walked back in.

Bucky playfully glared at him and threw his napkin in the teenager’s face. “Congrats, you just won yourself dish duty.” He caught it before it could hit him.

Jimmy groaned but didn’t argue. Without another word from Bucky or his mom, he started picking up the dirty plates from the dinner table.

“And thank your grandparents for dinner!” Y/N warned before Jimmy left the room with his hands full of dishes.

“He already did...twice. Boy’s more polite than you are, Y/N.” Her dad interrupted as he brought in a plate of brownies. “I think you have to thank that man of yours for Jimmy’s manners.”

Bucky blushed at the roundabout compliment.

“Does that mean I can thank you for my rudeness?” Y/N teased.

It was moments like these that made Bucky so grateful for Y/N. She was the only thing in his life that ever made him forget his past. Whenever he was with her, he just felt normal.

He was brought out of his head as he watched Y/N shove too much brownie in one bite. Resulting in half of it hanging out of her mouth.

Then she squinted at him and babbled something he couldn’t understand.

Bucky laughed at her antics.

When she finally managed to swallow the brownie, she laughed. “I said, ‘See, I do have manners!’”

---

It had been over an hour since Y/N fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Bucky had just been staring at the ceiling. He didn’t feel even remotely tried, despite the long day they had.

Finally he gave up. As quietly as he could, Bucky slipped out of bed. Y/N’s parents had a pretty deck in their backyard. He figured it would be a good place to think alone. In just a baggy pair of sweatpants, Bucky sat down in a chair and stared out at the fireflies in the distance.

A few minutes later he heard footsteps from inside the home. But he knew they were too heavy to belong to Y/N and they were too slow to be Jimmy’s.

The glass door slid open and Bucky glanced over his shoulder to find Y/N’s dad with two glasses of whiskey in his hands.

“Figured you’d be out here.” He muttered as if this meeting had been prearranged and handed Bucky one of the glasses.

Bucky instantly misread the situation. “Sir, I believe I owe you an apology.”

“An apology? What for?”

“Not asking for your permission before proposing to Y/N. I know we’re not engaged… but Y/N made the comment at dinner and-”

His tangent was cut off when Y/N’s dad started chuckling. “That’s a little outdated, don’t you think? Y/N is her own person. She doesn’t need my blessing or permission for anyone to propose to her. If you haven’t realized…my daughter has always been rather progressive and headstrong.”

Bucky relaxed a little. But he had no idea what the purpose of this conversation was now. He decided to take a sip of the whiskey and wait for some sort of direction.

“You’re starting to doubt yourself, aren’t you?” Y/N’s dad said while looking straight ahead. “About being a good father.”

Bucky swallowed.

“That’s why you couldn’t sleep, right?”

Bucky turned to him and nodded uneasily.

“Same thing happened to my when my wife was pregnant with Y/S’s/N. I convinced myself that I had no right raising another human being.”

Bucky didn’t say anything.

“James,” He never called him Bucky. “I’m not going to try and pretend to know what you’ve had to go through in life. But I do know one thing: you’re a good man. I see how happy you make Y/N. And it’s apparent what type of positive influence you’ve had on Jimmy.” He took a sip. “There’s not a doubt in my mind that you’ll make a great father.”

“What changed?” Bucky asked softly.

“Hmm?”

“What convinced you that you could be a father?”

“Honestly? Nothing. I was too busy worrying about Y/N’s mother. I couldn’t be selfish and waste time doubting myself while she was already living the pregnancy. So I just focused on her. Then when Y/S’s/N was born, I just took it a day at a time. Listen, I know that’s not very helpful. But nobody knows what the hell they’re doing… Especially the men. But you’ll figure it out. I promise.”

They finished their whiskey in comfortable silence. Bucky never really knew what Y/N’s father thought of him. What would any father think about The Winter Soldier dating their daughter? Bucky always assumed he thought he wasn’t good enough for Y/N. But that suspicion couldn’t withhold after tonight.

Bucky realized it was ridiculous to expect Y/N’s dad to think so low of him. After all, he raised her. That kindness and quiet confidence didn’t all come from just her mother.

Bucky eventually got back into bed with Y/N, who was still peacefully asleep.

However her body scooted closer to him as soon as he was back under the covers.

“Everything okay?” Y/N surprised him my asking.

He could tell her voice that she was only half awake. Her eyes weren’t even open.

“Y/N… Am I going to be a good father?” He whispered.

“No… you’re going to be the best.” Y/N answered before immediately falling back to sleep.

Bucky chuckled. He doubted that she would even remember their little conversation in the morning. But it comforted him nonetheless.

-------

Part 15

Sorry this took me longer than usual. I was traveling and work has been crazy. Thank you for your patience. 

[alphacrone]

All Decked Out Like a Cowboy's Dream

[Part of the Blue-Eyed Jack ‘Verse]

CW: food mentions, homophobia mentions, being publicly out

When Jack and Bitty started publicly dating, the internet, well...the internet broke, just a little.

Though they were only known in their respective circles -- most of Bitty’s colleagues hadn’t heard of Jack and vice versa -- it was a big deal. Bitty was suddenly hailed as the “gay Carrie Underwood” and Jack had to order a moratorium on all jokes about his sexy “tractor.” They got the usual “keep your private life private” criticism from the AFA people (“Would that I could, y’all.”) and some nasty remarks from sports commentators, but it wasn’t as if either of them was coming out for the first time.

Mostly they both just had to suffer through the Blue-Eyed Jack memes. It seemed a fair price to pay for being able to date openly.

They’d only been dating a few months when Bitty approached Jack with a nervous, hopeful smile. They were in Vancouver on a short vacation together, walking hand-in-hand through the Granville Island market, pointing at the seagulls stealing food and laughing. They’d wandered down away from the market proper to a boat dock, and Jack read out the silliest boat names to Bitty in a straight-faced monotone. If he were being honest with himself, Bitty hadn’t laughed like this in a long time, even with all the time he spent with his goofy band. Jack was special, and Bitty was very, very lucky.

“So, I, uh, wanted to run something by you,” Bitty said as they fell into a comfortable silence. “You’re not busy on June 15th, are you?”

Jack raised an eyebrow. The Falcs had been knocked out of playoffs in the first round, hence the vacation -- Jack had needed to get far away and Bitty had needed to comfort his boyfriend in person. “I don’t have anything planned. Why?”

“Well, um…” Bitty scuffed his toe against the sidewalk. “That’s the night of the CMT Music Awards. I have a plus-one, was thinkin’ of reaching out to Troye Sivan to be my date, back before you. But, um...I know you don’t like public events…”

“Bits.” Jack squeezed his hand tighter and grinned. “I’d love to be your plus-one.”

“Really?” Bitty let out a deep sigh and leaned up against Jack’s arm. “That’s...I’m happy.”

“I’ve never been to Nashville outside of playing the Preds,” Jack said. “You’ll have to show me the sights.”

Bitty laughed, feeling a million times lighter. “Oh, yeah, I can show you all the crappy dives I used to play at. Oh! And the diner where I used to wash dishes. The fry cook there let me help him, sometimes, on slow nights. He even admitted my flapjacks were better than his.” Bitty sighed, swinging Jack’s arm up and around his shoulder so he could tuck himself in against his boyfriend. “As soon as I hit my break, I sent him money for his daughter’s school supplies. I sent money to every bar owner in the city who gave me a chance, too, and the blues band that found me on the streets that first week and gave me a couch to crash on. There are a lot of snakes in Nashville,” he continued, voice growing softer. “But if it hadn’t been for the good people, I don’t even know if I would’ve survived. I try to visit them all, every time I’m in town. Gotta remember your roots,” he added with a laugh. “When interviewers ask about my family, I tell ‘em that the kind folks of the world are my family, and I’m theirs.”

Jack bent down suddenly to kiss Bitty, soft and sweet. “I don’t know how someone as positive and gracious as you ever agreed to date someone like me,” he said, smile teasing. “But I’m very, very glad.”

“Well, according to TMZ, it’s for your NHL paycheck,” Bitty chirped, slipping his hand into the back pocket of Jack’s jeans. “And this fella here.” He squeezed Jack’s ass, laughing.

Jack snorted and pulled Bitty along the path, back up to the crowded market. “C’mon, I saw a cheese stand inside. I know how you are about fancy cheeses.”

“You get me,” Bitty said, fluttering his eyelashes. “Lead the way, Mr. Zimmermann.”

  Despite Bitty renting a perfectly good house with his band, Jack got himself an overpriced suite in a fancy hotel as a treat for the two of them after the awards. Bitty suddenly didn’t care if Bitty & the Biscuits won anything -- he just wanted to spend the evening drinking with his band and then retire to the giant bed with ridiculously soft pillows to spend some alone time with his favorite person.

Unfortunately, that meant his favorite person wasn’t at the house to get ready with Bitty and the rest of the band. Their rented car would swing by the hotel to pick up on the way, but while Jack got to dress and primp in peace, Bitty was running around the house with three other panicked guys plus their dates and several stylists.

Despite his threat to invite Alexei Mashkov to the awards, Ransom had settled on Lardo as his date because he thought their height difference was hilarious and would make for great red carpet photos. Dex, the giant nerd that he was, had flown his grandmother down from Maine to be his plus-one. Chowder was bringing his girlfriend, Caitlin, whose natural Cara Delevingne brows and Target-sale-rack dress put them all to shame.

Bitty himself was dressed in a snazzy sky-blue suit with the top buttons of his shirt undone. His hair was coiffed spectacularly -- “The higher the hair, the closer to God,” he’d joked with his stylist. -- and his shoes were gold and shinier than anything. Bitty looked good and he hoped Us Weekly agreed.

Somehow, they managed to get the whole band and their dates into the small, white limo on time and headed towards the hotel where Jack was waiting. Ransom and Lardo kept chirping him about “seeing the bride before the wedding” or something equally as dumb, but Bitty simply ignored them and texted Jack that they were on their way.

When they pulled up to the taxi circle in front of the hotel, Bitty literally felt his jaw drop. Because there, waiting, in the tightest jeans he’d ever seen and a pair of gosh darn cowboy boots stood his boyfriend and sexiest man alive. His ass was a national treasure when he wore tennis shoes and basketball shorts; when he wore heeled boots and well-tailored jeans? The Zimmer-booty was the eighth modern wonder of the world.

“Well, shit, Bits,” Lardo said, following his gaze. “You hit the Jack-pot.”

Ransom snorted with laughter and Bitty couldn’t even find it in himself to be annoyed. He wondered how rude it would be to skip the awards and drag Jack upstairs to his suite immediately.

The driver came around and opened the door for Jack, and he crawled in with a shy grin. “You look really, really great,” he told Bitty, taking in his blue suit and styled hair. “You’re gonna steal the show.”

Bitty shook his head slowly. “No, I don’t think I am.”

When Jack cocked his head in confusion, Lardo clarified. “You look hot, Jack. You broke Bitty.”

“Really?” Jack looked surprised, then smug. “But it’s so early in the evening.”

The entire limo ooh-ed in dramatically scandalized tones. Even Dex’s grandmother laughed at the insinuation. Ransom elbowed Bitty in the ribs until Bitty smacked his arm hard.

“Shush,” Bitty said as the car began to drive again. “Let’s just discuss this year’s drinking game.”

“Alright,” Dex said, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket. “Take a shot every time someone trips or falls. Take a drink for every cowboy hat you see. Take a sip for every time Carrie Underwood changes her outfit. Oh!” Dex sighed and shoved the paper back into his jacket. “Chug your drink every time someone makes an off-color joke about us.”

“Great,” Ransom said. “We’ll be wasted within an hour.”

“None of them better say anything ugly about you boys,” Grandma Poindexter said crossly. “Else they’ll answer to me.”

“Wow, Dex,” Chowder said. “Your grandma is, like, way cooler than you.”

The boys chirped and fought the entire ride to the awards, leaving Bitty to reign in his overwhelmed little heart in relative peace.

  They didn’t win.

Bitty really hadn’t been expecting to, but it stung all the same.

Still -- he’d gotten to take drunk selfies with Kacey Musgraves and Jack had found Mike Fisher pretty quickly, two hockey boys in a sea of country stars. (Bitty could see the headlines already: Hockey Invasion?) There’d only been one tone-deaf gay joke about him, and Willie Nelson had smiled at him as he passed by his table. Dolly came over at one point to hug him tightly and make him promise to spend a day in the studio with her so they could record a duet or two. All in all, it had been a good evening.

And it was about to get better.

Bitty’s drunkenness had faded into a tired sort of buzz by the time he and Jack were dropped off at the hotel. They staggered to the room, giggly and sluggish. Bitty jumped onto the bed and kicked off his shoes, relishing the expensive squishiness of the mattress pad.

“You hungry, bud?” Jack asked, closing the door behind him. He shed his sports jacket, revealing the tight, white t-shirt underneath. Lord, he was the spitting image of the country hunk Bitty had dreamt about as a teenager. It suddenly really didn’t matter that Bitty & the Biscuits had lost -- Bitty had his award right here.

“Starving,” Bitty said, trying to sound suggestive, but the rumbling of his stomach ruined the moment.

Jack pulled out the room service menu, sitting down on the bed next to Bitty. “I could go for a burger. You wanna split a dessert?”

Bitty smiled up at Jack. “I want to make a comment about you being my dessert, but I also really want something smothered in chocolate.”

Jack laughed and pulled Bitty up until he was leaning against his chest. “Cheeseburger and fries for me. A ‘molten lava brownie deluxe’ for dessert. And…?”

“Ooh, fettuccine alfredo,” Bitty said with a happy sigh. “Yes, please.”

“It worries me how much dairy you eat,” Jack said teasingly. “And one giant bowl of cream and carbs, coming right up.”

“Just for that, you’re not getting any,” Bitty said petulantly. “Of either sort.”

Jack laughed and kissed Bitty’s head. “Will you love me again if I take you out for breakfast in the morning?”

“Maybe.” Bitty snuggled in closer, biting lightly at the underside of Jack’s jaw. “Will there be biscuits and gravy?”

“Of course,” Jack said. “To continue your diet of cream and carbs.”

“Chirp, chirp, chirp,” Bitty huffed. “It’s like you don’t want to get laid at all.”

“Bittle,” Jack said seriously, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I saw how you looked at my ass all night. I have no fears about not getting laid.”

Bitty pouted and slapped Jack’s stomach lightly. “I knew I should’ve called Troye,” he said grumpily. “Troye wouldn’t be this rude to me.”

Jack laughed. “Troye’s ass wouldn’t look this good in jeans, either.”

“Ugh, just order the food you narcissist,” Bitty said. “You know the true way to my heart is through my stomach.”

“That I do,” Jack said smugly, leaning down to kiss Bitty again before picking up the phone. “That I do.”

“Love you, Cowboy,” Bitty murmured as Jack dialed the front desk. “Love you, too,” Jack whispered. “Hello? Yes, I’d like to order room service…”

[READ PART FOUR]

[OMGCP Country Singer AU]

[My writing tag]

[My online novel, The Discourt Knife]