#the custodians are nice as hell fuck everyone else

[starlooove]

The manager when they realize they people they haven’t trained cant respond properly to shit they’ve never learned 😨😨😨😨

[thefactsofthematter]

spravey office romance but like... they're not cops and theyre nice to each other

ask and you shall recieve!! (two months after you asked... oops)

here is some good ol spavey, vaguely inspired by the office, where they are in fact nice to each other!!! its like 2.8k, modern au, and fuck it disabled!spot rights he’s in a wheelchair because i said so. here you go anon!!

-

"David... Davey. My office, now. Get in here."

Davey can't roll his eyes quite hard enough to express just how annoyed he is in this moment. Race shoots him a sympathetic look from across the office.

"Coming, Mr. Wiesel!" He's thankful his desk faces away from his boss's office, so he has time to school his expression into something happier before he turns around. "Can I help you with something?"

Now... Mr. Wiesel isn't the worst boss in the world. He really isn't. But he most certainly isn't the best either, despite what his favourite mug (that he probably bought for himself) might tell you. He's nice enough most of the time, and he seems to try his best... but god is he ever incompetent.

Like right now, he's probably going to task Davey with something that could've been handled by literally anyone else. Davey has actual work to do— he's not sure what Wiesel even does all day in that office of his, because he seems to delegate everything off to his unfortunate employees. He's a regional manager, in charge of sales and finances for the Manhattan branch of a major New York City newspaper, and yet he seems to have the brain of an actual goldfish.

"Secret meeting," Wiesel says, as Davey walks in. "Close the door behind you and sit down."

"It's not exactly a secret, sir," Davey replies, though he does as he's told anyways, settling into a chair once the door is closed. "You yelled across the office to tell me about it."

Also, he's immediately going to disclose every detail of the meeting to Race and Jack as soon as they're done in here, but Wiesel doesn't need to know that.

"Details, shmetails," scoffs Wiesel. "I have an important job for you."

This can't possibly be good.

"I have a lot of other work to do," Davey sighs. He truly does— he's the head of accounting for their office, and they're in the middle of a company audit. "Jack didn't look that busy, I'm sure you could give him something to entertain himself with."

Jack works in sales— which basically just means he has to convince distributors that newspapers totally aren't a dying medium, and they should definitely keep buying their copies to sell. He's remarkably good at selling newspapers, but he's also easily distracted and seems to have far too much time to plan stupid office pranks.

"I don't trust Jack. Salesmen... they're too charming. You never know what they're up to."

Okay, so Wiesel is batshit fucking insane. This is, unfortunately, par for the course that is trying to hold any kind of conversation with him.

"What is it you need me to do, sir?" Davey is beyond exasperated. Why he of all people had to become Wiesel's favourite employee, he'll never understand. "Again, I'm already very busy."

"It won't take long, don't worry." Wiesel smiles wide. "I want you to be our official welcoming committee. We're getting a new employee."

Davey can't physically stop his eyebrows from shooting up, practically to his hairline. What?

"Look, boss, the audit isn't finished yet, but I can tell you that it makes absolutely no financial sense to hire someone new right now." He knows he's talking to a stubborn brick wall, but he continues anyways. "We're barely turning a profit, and some of our numbers don't make any sense. Why do we have two janitors?"

"I wanted to give my nephews a head start in the industry!"

"The... custodian industry?"

"Morris and Oscar are smart boys, they'll make something out of it." Wiesel shakes his head. "Anyways, we're just getting a transfer from the Brooklyn office. He won't even be on our payroll. Corporate is sending him in because they think our office is... unproductive."

It's like it physically pains him to say that last word, though Davey knows it to be true. He wouldn't be surprised if they get downsized in the near future.

"Okay..." Davey sighs. "You just want me to say hi to him, then?"

"More than that, David. Show him around. Give him the good ol' World Welcome."

"Is that a thing? Am I hazing him?"

"Oh my god, yeah—"

"No." Davey cuts him off before that idea can escalate, regretting that he even brought it up. "Okay, I'm going back to work. I'll say hi to him when he gets here."

-

Rather than go back to his own corner of the office, Davey makes a beeline for Race's desk.

"Did you know we're getting a new guy?"

Race, being the receptionist and all, generally keeps track of anyone who comes and goes from the office. However, he's either hungover or high a good fifty percent of the time, so he's not the most reliable source.

"I think I was probably supposed to know that," Race says, frowning at his computer. "I skip the emails that don't look important. Lemme go check."

"A new guy, huh?" Jack asks, sauntering over from his desk, which is only like ten feet away. "I need to start planning a welcome prank."

"No, you absolutely do not."

Before Jack can go off on some prank-related tangent, Race interrupts.

"Found it! Weasel emailed me this morning. He said: New guy is called Sean Conlon. Transferring in from Brooklyn for a week. I heard a rumour that he doesn't have legs."

The three of them share a moment of confused silence.

"Maybe he'll get along with Crutchie," Jack offers. "You know... since he only has one leg, and this guy has no legs. They could, like, bond."

Davey chokes on a laugh— he definitely feels like he shouldn't be laughing, but he can never help it when Jack says shit like that.

"Okay, I'm glad you got that out now. You know how badly Weasel handles sensitivity training, so let's avoid it if we can."

Their last round of sensitivity training was due to Wiesel's running gag of only speaking to Jack in broken Spanish. Jack is originally from New Mexico, he's Navajo, and he doesn't even speak Spanish. Jack thought it was hilarious (while ridiculously offensive), but it was making the entire office uncomfortable, so someone must have anonymously called it in to corporate.

"You mean we can spend a whole day listening to Weasel tell us he's not racist again? Sounds like a party." Jack laughs. "But yeah, I'm not stupid. I'm not gonna make fun of a guy with no legs."

"We don't even know that he doesn't have legs," Race interjects. "At this point I don't believe anything Weasel says, especially if he's willing to admit it's a rumour. Where did he even hear that?"

Davey shrugs.

"Who knows. Legs or not, we're gonna be nice to the new guy. Weasel made me the designated welcoming committee, so I'm officially adding you two to my team."

"Extra work?" asks Race. "Not happening."

"You've been playing the Sims all morning. You haven't been doing any work," Jack points out. "Can we go on a donut run at lunch and have a staff party for him?"

Davey can do nothing more than sigh. There's no reasoning with Jack when it comes to his obsession with throwing pointless staff parties.

"Sure. Whatever. No balloons, though."

And that's that— they head back to their own desks and wait for the new guy to show up.

-

The elevator dings about twenty minutes later.

The guy does, in fact, have legs— though he's using a wheelchair, so they must not work very well. That's probably where Wiesel got the rumour from. He's got a grumpy look on his face, like he's not particularly thrilled to be here, and a messenger bag on his lap. Above all, Davey notices, the new guy is really fucking hot.

He makes his way over to Race's desk to check in, and Davey decides to wait a moment before going over to introduce himself, so as to seem like he hasn't been obsessively watching the elevator for his arrival. He needs to compose himself— his tie is feeling a little too tight. Holy shit, that man is so beautiful.

Race, ever the professional, pulls out one AirPod to greet the new guy, and they have a short conversation that Davey can't quite overhear. It ends with Race shouting Davey, come here! because apparently no one in this office knows how to use the paging system built into the phones on everyone's desks.

"You called?" Davey sighs, as he approaches the reception desk. "I don't sit that far away, you really don't need to yell."

"Yelling gets things done," says Race with a shrug. He gestures to the new guy. "This is Sean, he's the assistant manager from the Brooklyn branch. Sean, this is Davey. He's the manager's assistant at our branch."

"I'm not Weasel's assistant," hisses Davey, glaring at Race. "I'm just bad at saying no to him." He turns to Sean and extends a hand to shake. "David Jacobs, head of accounting. Sorry about Anthony— I swear we're not all like this."

Race scoffs.

"Please, I'm hilarious and everyone loves me."

Davey and Sean both pointedly ignore him.

"It's nice to meet you," Sean says, with a handshake so firm that Davey nearly goes weak in the knees. "I'm looking forward to getting to know this location."

God, he's a sucker for a professional. This is either going to be the best or the worst week ever, and Davey has no clue which way it'll go.

-

He shows Sean to his desk, manages to stop Jack and Crutchie from setting off a party popper behind his head as a welcome prank, and then finally tries to get back to what's he's actually supposed to be doing.

It doesn't last long— he gets a text from Race just a few minutes after sitting down.

Racer: new guy is fiiiiine as hell ain't he Racer: i mean just look at that smoulder while he works

Davey: he's too old for you, don't even think about it.

Racer: heyyy i'm 19 now >:(

Davey: and he's gotta be at least 25 Davey: not happening, kiddo

Racer: look at me

Davey looks up from his phone, only to see Race flipping him off. Okay then.

Race somehow got hired here straight out of high school, while everyone else in the office has at least some college education— making him the baby of the bunch. While hilariously incompetent at his job, he is fun to be around, so Wiesel has kept him on. He's become Davey and Jack's pseudo-little-brother, much to his annoyance.

Anyways... back to the audit. Davey can hardly focus. Sean is sitting right across from him, and he feels like a stupid teenager with a crush on someone in his class because he just can't draw his eyes away. The morning goes smoothly, though, apart from Davey's heart fluttering a little every time he looks at Sean. In fact, it almost feels too good to be true... until Wiesel finally emerges from his office.

"A wheelchair!" is the first thing he shouts, which makes Davey want to smash his head through his computer screen and then throw himself out the window. So much for his hopes of avoiding sensitivity training. "Isn't that neat! You must be our new friend from Brooklyn."

Sean looks almost stunned, which is the most emotion he's shown since he got here.

"Sean Conlon," he says, slowly and confused, definitely offended, but still sticking out a hand to shake. "Um... I take it you're the branch manager. Is the wheelchair going to be a problem?"

"Oh, god no!" Wiesel replies, shaking Sean's hand far too enthusiastically. "We love disabled people here. I mean, hell, David over here is gay!"

Davey very nearly spontaneously combusts with the heat that immediately rises to his cheeks. He ducks his head a little to hide the blush and avoid eye contact with anyone. He's certainly not the only queer in the office, but he's somehow the only one Wiesel has picked up on, and he loves to make stupid comments about it. Davey is simply far too awkward to stand up for himself when it happens.

"That's... not a disability." When Davey looks up, Sean is staring Wiesel down with a look that screams you're getting fired if there's anything I can do about it. "Frankly, that's incredibly rude to both David and myself. Is this the standard of conduct you set for your employees?"

"Woah," Wiesel immediately starts to backpedal. "Calm down Mr. Professional! It's just a joke between friends."

Sean's expression doesn't change.

"Jokes are supposed to be funny."

From a few desks away, Jack and Crutchie burst into silent, muffled laughter, while Davey shoots them a desperate look. What the fuck does he say? The entire office has gone quiet, watching the standoff go down.

"Davey!" Wiesel says, frantically. "You thought it was funny, right?"

Davey swallows nervously.

"Actually, it's really hurtful when you say stuff like that." He's shaking a little— standing up for himself is not something he typically does. "My identity isn't a joke. It's part of who I am."

Wiesel doesn't seem to know what to say, and Davey can do nothing but wait for some kind of response. His face is burning and his palms are sweaty— it's humiliating.

"Period! You tell him, Davey!" Jack shouts, from his desk, which instantly breaks some of the tension. "Get his ass!"

"I think I'll be taking this up with HR," Sean says, once Wiesel has been quiet a little too long. He's so smooth with it that Davey's heart flutters a little. "I'm getting a sense that this is a running issue— I'd like them to have a look into your position here at the company. It was nice to meet you, though."

And then he turns back to his computer to work on whatever he was doing. Holy shit. There's a general rustling of papers and clicking of mouses around the room as everyone follows his lead, and Davey has to bite back a smile. It felt kind of good to stick it to Weasel.

-

The work day is pretty much over, Davey is packing up, and he really wants to figure out a way to make conversation with Sean.

He's so cool. He's so damn cool, and he's hot, and he's well-spoken and professional... Davey is desperate to at least be his friend. It's a Monday, not typically a night he'd go out for happy hour after work, but he's considering making plans anyways. He is the welcoming committee after all.

He shoots off a group text to Race, Jack and Crutchie, suggesting a little welcoming party at their usual bar down the block, and everyone drops a like on it within moments. Perfect.

"Hey," he leans over the little gap between their desks and can't stop himself from smiling. "A few of us are gonna go for drinks once we clock out, and you're more than welcome to join us."

Sean finally cracks a real smile, and Davey nearly passes out. He's gorgeous.

"Really?" He looks so happy just to be included. "That sounds fun, I'd love to."

-

"I'm really sorry about earlier."

Davey and Sean sit at a table, while Jack and Race play pool, and Crutchie tries his best to make a move on the bartender that he's been crushing on for ages. It never quite goes his way, but his commitment to the cause is admirable.

"What?" Davey asks. "Why? It was so nice of you to stick up for me!"

"I just feel bad that you got dragged into it," Sean sighs. "I mean, um... I'm gay too. So I kinda know how it feels when people say stuff like that, and sometimes it really is easier to brush it off. I didn't mean for you to get put on the spot like that."

Davey shrugs, trying to play off the way his heart has begun to flutter with the knowledge that he might have a chance— Sean is gay! This is too good to be true.

"It felt good to finally say something," Davey chuckles. "It was about time someone put him in his place. He's old and out-of-touch."

"And an asshole."

Davey laughs, loud and abruptly.

"Yeah, you're right. He's an asshole." He pauses, unable to stop smiling. "I'm gonna go grab another beer, can I buy you one?"

Sean, once again, looks surprised that Davey is being so nice to him, and his face breaks into that incredible grin from before.

"Sure, yeah! That'd be nice! Thank you so much."

And if the evening ends with a folded up napkin with a messily scribbled phone number and a note about the stupid nickname all my friends usually call me being casually slipped into Davey's back pocket... well, that's no one's business but Davey and Spot's.

[allaboardthewritingtrain]

Behind It All - Prologue

(This is one of the two original stories that I’ve been working on lately. I’ve been working on this chapter for over a month and I really hope you enjoy my Superhero/Redemption story.  Please enjoy this and give me feedback it would really help me when writing the next chapter!

A side note Henry was 26 is 20) Moria was 23 is 18, Destiny was 21 is 16, Karma was 20 is 15 but are de-aged to match more towards Diana who is 15 in this chapter)

When Diana opens her eyes for the first time she finds herself in a white room, tucked into a quite comfortable bed, it’s sheets pure white like the walls surrounding her. The brunette looks around, her eyebrows furrowed as she looks around, confused as to how she got here. She gets out of her bed, her feet greeted by the soft white carpet covering the floor. She explores the rather empty room, with two doors leading to separate rooms, the first door Diana opens it to a bathroom, covered decorated in white, from the sink to the rug covering the entirety of the floor. Through the other door, Diana leaves the strange bedroom to find a blonde man passing by, his eyes a brilliant blue that almost matching the shirt he’s wearing. “Oi, you! Where am I?” Diana finally asks and grabs his wrist, to stop him in his tracks” “Well well, I see our new recruit has finally awakened. Come and meet the other girls ” A strong and deep British accent says and basically drags her downstairs to a large open area where a kitchen, dining and living room are laid out “Hey! You never answered my question! Where the hell am I and why are you dragging a fifteen-year-old around!” She demands “You are in a very special place…a place that considers no time passing and there to be an infinite space...this is your new home Diana..”  A voice inside of her head informs her.

The fifteen-year-old nods in agreement before gasping and looking around. “Okay, who the heck said that?” She asks and looks around as they enter a stone house.

“My name is unpronounceable in your language but consider me your other half. I have chosen you as my vessel and champion…. I predict that we will find a good name for ourselves later” The voice says as Diana blinks, in her line of view is a beautiful figure, dressed from her hair to her shoes in complete white.

Diana takes a step back as she takes in the figure, wondering what the hell got her chosen.

“Why me? Why did you choose me of anyone else! I just want to see my parents!” She yells as tears begin to form at the thought of her parents. “Oh child….I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you….but they’ve moved on….to the next life...and without my intervention….you would too…” She informs the teen as the younger woman falls to her knees, her wailing turns into screams as she cries her heart for her parent's warm arms to be around her.

“NNNNOOOO! NOT THEM! ANYONE BUT THEM! WHY WHY WHY!” She screams as the woman wraps her arms around the teen in comfort Three women and the man from before sharing a strange glance as they witness her screams and collapsing to her, her arms around someone invisible

“The pain shall pass….surely you will be better but for now grieve as you want…” The unnamed woman whisper as her teenage counterpart cries until she’s run out of tears. The woman sighs gently before possessing the body, taking her gently up the stairs and to the bedroom she began in

Several Days Later

Diana opens her crusted eyes and rubs them as sunlight streams through the window that’s now appeared in her room. “Weird….didn’t notice that last time…” She mumbles and looks around, gasping to see three sets of eyes watching her every movement from the three chairs at her bedside.

“Good morning miss…” A sweet and gentle voice greets her, the voice pitch different from the one before, making it someone different from the white-clothed lady.  Diana runs her eyes and blinks a few times before taking in the three sets of eyes looking down onto her.

“How do you feel?” a second voice asks gently and grasps her hand which Diana quickly tugs away.

“Who are you and why are you in my room!” The brunette asks quickly as she sits up in bed to get a better look at the trio of strangers, pulling the bedsheet close to her body as she sits up.

“We are known as the Fate..our word is law when we predict the future” A third voice counters and crosses her arms her blonde hair tied into two braids with her bangs brushed to the right. Her green eyes glowering at the fifteen-year-old laying in bed. “Karma, we talked about being nice to the newbie,” The first woman says and gives glares at the sarcastic one with deep red eyes, matching her shirt and pants. “Well excuse me for not wanting to get more sleep when you two INSISTED we sat with her like she’s a little girl as she sleeps which is super fucking creepy btw,” She says and stands up from her chair, her skirt flowing as she turns towards the door and yanks it open. “Don’t wake me up unless you wanna die” Karma warns before slamming the door as she leaves. “Well okay then….ignoring how dramatic she is...My names Moria, I’m the leader of the fates I guess, why don’t we wait outside and let you get dressed”  A redhead murmurs as she faces Diana again and raises from her own chair, it disappears like magic, the light brown haired female, who Diana assumes to be the final ‘sister’ of the Fates follows Moria’s lead and stands up. They both head to the door and open it, allowing the brunette to leave before her. “Again, we’ll be outside” Moria reminds Diana before closing the door behind her.

Diana waits until her door is closed once more before she gets out of bed to explore her and dresser, choosing a beautiful white blouse that looks like a modern-day crop top with lace fringes at the bottom, spotting pants and skirt combo along in her closet. She slips into it, struggling for a moment before taking a deep breath.

She checks her appearance in the mirrors and turns around, finally noticing a computer and a desk in the corner of the room. “hmmmm….never noticed that before..” she says and cautiously heads to her door and pokes her head outside to find Moria and her brunette haired ‘sister’ standing beside the door talking quietly among themselves. As they wait. “I see you’re all ready for the tour?” The light brown-haired woman asks, her blue eyes sparkling in the unnatural light of the overhead lamps. “Uh, sure? But can someone explain why and how we got here?” Diana asks gently. “Well, we’ve all been chosen for something greater than you could imagine. We’re custodians for certain aspects of life.  For example, my ‘sisters’ and I are the fate, we can see where someone will die, and our other two allies are the aspect of Space and Darkness while you’re the aspect of Time. You’ll meet at least one of them during the tour. Darkness doesn’t come out of his room much. It seems he enjoys the well, darkness” The light brunette says as she leads her down the hall to two staircases are built, one leading up and one leading downstairs.“This is where we’ll start our tour! This is where almost everyone’s bedrooms are, my ‘sisters’ bedrooms and down that way” She says and points in the opposite way that they came from. “And back the way we came is yours and Henry’s separate bedrooms. Again you’ll meet him later.

“Uh okay?” She says as Moria takes her hand and leads her down the staircase gently, unlike the brute that practically dragged her down the first time. “This is the kitchen and your office is down here too, I believe you took care of the mortal’s reports, making sure we’re not needed on Earth” Moria explains as they enter an enclosed space to the right of the staircase and into a pristine white office space that’s modeled after a superior's office, two chairs in front of the desk and one behind, a computer separating them with a bookcase against the wall behind them with a couch pushed to the side for comfort.

“Wow…this is mine?” Diana asks as she looks around in awe of the little office.

“Well, of course, you are the aspect of time. You can go to any part of time….you are the first responder to a disaster…but let’s move on” The brunette tugs her out of the office and points her in the direction of the kitchen, surrounded by decorative iron bars, making a barrier between the two areas. “Well, this is interesting….” Diana says as she figures out where to enter the kitchen, walking into a few poles until she figures it out, stepping into a rather large kitchen, having two fridges and stoves for easy cooking and an island to eat at, the chairs color coordinated to their aspect.

“This is probably Karma’s other favorite place to be. That girl will eat forever” Moria says with a giggle as she sits in her spot while Diana goes to explore the fridge, pulling out a favorite food of hers and going to the microwave to heat it up, humming softly as she does so  until a loud crash comes from the other end of the house. “I’m fine! Just a little drunk!” A deep and rather British voice booms out as the light brunette and Moria both run to help. Diana following quietly behind them until she notices who it is.

‘YOU! You're the one who dragged me down the staircase earlier!” She yells at the man

“What? I was excited to see someone that weren’t the creepy ass sisters” He flashes her a charming smile as he downs another shot of whiskey.

“Ignore Henry….he’s an idiot and drinking underaged! You do realize your twenty again”  The brunette replies and crosses her arms at the now named Henry, whose jawline is pear-shaped and rather sharp as he tilts his head, giving the ‘sister's’ puppy dog eyes, with his dangerously blue eyes.

“Henry…...no” “Henry yes,” Henry purrs as he reaches for the bottle of Vodka, only to discover it’s in the hands of Moria whose already racing towards the kitchen to dump it out. “Bloody woman!” He yells and chases after the redhead as they go around the couches, Henry even slamming into the wall, making the television shake on its wall mount. “Watch where you're going, Henry!” Moria yells as she divides the two, between a VR platform “Well then give me back the booze!” Henry almost whines and leaps over it, Moria moves to the side so the plant that was being trimmed falls over, allowing it to crash onto the floor. “Well good luck being murdered by Karma” The lighter brunette taunts as she watches Moria leg it to the kitchen and dumps the liquid into the sink. Henry sinking to the floor in despair. ‘NOOOOOOO!” He yells and flinches as a door slams closed as someone comes stomping downstairs.

‘WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT WAKING ME UP!” Karma yells, her outfit now changed into a tee shirt and sleeping pants, a sleeping mask perched atop her head.

“Uhh sorry, Kar! I swear it’s your sister's fault! She’s the one who stole the booze!” Henry says quickly and heads down the other set of staircases to escape her wrath as Karma pursue him.“Well, that was entertaining, but let’s continue the tour, are you coming Destiny?” Moria says and opens a set of double doors just to the left of the bar and entertainment area, the lighter brunette now identified as Destiny is quick to follow them, sitting on the bench silently as her older ‘sister’ speaks.

“This is our reflection area, we come here to seek guidance from our former selves and can also leave memories here or in other areas for our future selves,” She says gently and takes a seat beside Destiny allowing their eyes to close and take in a happy memory left by her predecessors “Wait what do you mean future selves?”

“Well, we are all reincarnations of the original who were likely created at the beginning of creation, eventually we all succumb to death at one time or another, allowing someone else to take our place..” Moria says to the young Diana, glancing her way gently “So you're saying that I’m not the first?” “Nor the last” She finishes the others train of thought. “I had the same questions when I first arrived….sadly my ‘sisters’ were still grieving over the loss of my predecessor. He was apparently a favorite amongst the group so I didn’t get many answers at first. I stayed in my room to avoid there staring and whispering” Moria says sadly and looks at Destiny whose cheeks are pink in embarrassment.

“Enough with the sad talk, let’s get to my two favorite floors!” Destiny says excitedly and drags the woman out before the mysterious woman can share a memory with her. entwines her arm with the Diana and takes her up two flights of stairs to the roof. “This is where you’ll find Henry beside at the bar. He’s the local gardener” Destiny mentions as she points to the large garden plots and benches set beside it, allowing someone to meditate there if they would like This is beautiful….I think I’ve found my favorite spot…” Diana says and goes to sit on the bench, taking a deep breath as she gets comfortable, the soft touch of  someone holding their hand and the tenderness of having it kissed gently

“I love you….Keeps…” A deep voice purrs and pulls her into a kiss. She startles awake and looks around confused. “What the hell happened...what did I just see?” She questions as she keeps looks between the two confused. “We saw nothing….are you okay?” Moria says and kneels in front of Diana and share a glance with Destiny, Diana rubs her forehead as she tries to process the information given from the memories. 

“Fuck….I think I just saw a memory...A very intimate one…” The brunette murmurs. “How much more of the tour is there? I think I should lay down…” She murmurs before fainting once more, being caught in the arms of Henry who had been passing by on the way to the observation tower, just past the basketball court, building securely into the corner of the roof for optimal stargazing.

“Man, what is with her and fainting….” Henry mumbles as he shifts her weight in his arms, carrying their youngest to her new bedroom and slipping her into bed, letting her return to earth for the time being.

[gummees]

more on the social side:

- do not rely on your roommate to be friends with you. whether or not you hit it off, always make friends outside of them and don't stay in just because they don't wanna go out

- don't fucking smoke weed in the dorms. literally everyone can smell it, you will probably get caught, just do edibles dear god

- everyone is in the same boat as you. no matter how socially anxious you feel, everyone else feels pretty much like that too. it's really lonely to go from having a solid friend/group in high school to basically having no one, but keep in mind that good friendships take time to build. be open to new people!!

- unless you want your life to be a living hell, Don't go for the randomized roommate, especially at a smaller college. Of course it's possible to have just as many problems with someone you chatted with over the summer, but in my experience as an RA people that take a random roommate usually end up with more problems than it's worth. put in the extra couple hours looking for someone, and use that as a very last resort

- if you plan on drinking, be safe and have a plan. since you probably don't know all these new people that well, make sure you have their phone numbers, maybe their dorms as well. check in with each other, don't let anyone get hurt. If something happens, get help right away. In a lot of situations, it's more urgent that your friend get medical help and any officers that show up might cut you some slack because of that (I am white, for disclosure, but still please take care of each other)

- be nice to the res hall custodians. in general, always be nice to custodians.

- go to events!!!! you will probably feel really overwhelmed, and it's good to put a lot of time and effort into school, but college is one of the last instances you will be around a ton of other people your age. make use of your time there, and try to make some good memories!!

- along the same vein; if you're hanging out at an event with some other people and they decide to do something afterward, just go. Unless you REALLY have something you HAVE to do, this goes along the same vein of making good memories: you won't remember going to bed early that night but you'll probably remember whatever random activity that happens then. I made one of my best friends by saying yes to card games after a campus event!!!

Actual good first-time college student advice:

Wear jeans/pants that “breathe” and bring a sweater, even if it’s scorching hot out, until you know which building blasts the AC to 60 degrees F and which feels like a sauna

Backpacks with thick straps are your friend!  Messenger bags are cool and all but if you’re commuting with a lot of stuff, symmetrically styled backpacks are better for your back

You are your own person and you can walk out whenever you need to or want to, so long as you’re not disrupting the class.  Meaning you can go to the bathroom without permission, take a breather if you’re anxious, answer an important phone call, etc.

If you don’t like the class on the first day, if you can- DROP THAT CLASS AND TAKE ANOTHER ONE!  It’ll only get worse from there!

If you can, take a class outside your major; it’s a good break from your expected studies.

You are in charge of your schedule.  Your adviser and guidance counselor is there to ‘advise and guide’ but if you don’t like certain classes and you can substitute for others, that’s your choice.

Consequently, if you are changing anything drastic in your plan, talk with your adviser and instructors.

Pay attention to your credit hours and grades.  Never leave this to the last week of school, you will be sorry and stressed beyond belief!

Unless it’s a lab book or otherwise specified, go to the class for a week or so before buying an expensive textbook.  Some classes, while having it on their required list, do not actually use the textbook a whole lot and you might find some of it scanned online.  Rent if you can or buy used online (schools actually don’t give discounts).  Use your best judgement on what you think you need.

Tell the people who go up to you selling or advertising things you are not interested in that you are in a rush to class and don’t have time to listen to them.  It’s less rude and they’ll leave you alone.

The smaller the class, the better it is to have some sort of acquaintanceship with a couple classmates.  They might save your ass if you are absent one day or need to study.  And talking with them makes the time go by faster without it being so insufferable.

You don’t need to join a club or sport, but internships are cool and useful!

If you can afford it, take a day off once or twice each semester if you’re too exhausted.  Just be aware of what you missed and if it was worth missing!

Your health is the most important, this goes for mental health too!!  Note: College-age/upper teens is when mental disorders like depression and anxiety are most commonly diagnosed.  Most schools have therapy services, especially during exam time.  Look into it if you need to!

Communicate with your professor if you are having trouble with something.  Anything.

Eat and stay hydrated.  Bring a water bottle and snack to class.

All-nighters will happen but never go over 36 hours without sleep.

It’s going to be hard and there will be times you might think about giving up.  This WILL happen.  You just have to make sure what you’re doing isn’t making you absolutely miserable and/or there is something rewarding and positive to look forward to at the end!

[fuck-customers]

So, this is something that has been pissing me off ever since it happened, months ago. Even though I am no longer at WillGood (thank fuck I'm free from there) it still angers me.

So, about... 5 months-or-so before I put in my notice, we get 2 new managers, C and D. In the time  between seeing C for the first time and my last day, I saw her... maaaaybe 3 or 4 times.

D, on the other hand... WillGood (at least my WillGood) was trying to bring the job workforce programs into the locations more or something. Bullshit, they didn't do a damn thing for months. So, at first I saw D rarely. But I will always remember what he said when we first met.

He told me (and everyone else) that he never worked retail a day in his life before. And he was now a manager??? My immediate thought was that this seemed a bit fishy.

I thought I'd give him the benefit of a doubt. For a while, I saw him... maybe once a month if that. At first, he was nice. Brought in donuts one morning for everyone. Turns out... he was one of those managers. The sit-on-their-ass-in-the-office-on-their-phone type. We already had one of those managers, we didn't need another.

Anyway, this summer was rather warm. D had popsicles in the breakroom freezer for everyone. But he refused to make the inside of the store cooler.

Several times I overheated  at work- once to the point of throwing up, which I later discovered my symptoms went beyond overheating to heat exhaustion.- I told one of the managers about that, and D overheard. He straight up said:

"There's no way you could have heat exhaustion. It's 70 degrees on the floor!"

70. Degrees. I was a floor person, but the week I had heat exhaustion I was the custodian. So, there was the fact that I had to mop, vacuum, clean glass, clean fitting room mirrors, etc., but even if I wasn't the janitor, I've overheated multiple times doing normal floor work, or even putting away racks of clothes! Racks that can hold 100+ each, and they wanted me to do 2 an hour for 3 hours. Other people can do it. Other people do that as their job, and that's what they do for more than just a 3-hour shift.

At any rate, D hardly did anything. And I really began to wonder  how the hell he got this job. But it started to make sense when I heard someone say that he was the CEO's son. I don't know  how true it is, but he is a manager with  0 prior retail experience and the same last name as our CEO. Now, if you ask me, to get a position like that- basically head manager of our store- without any experience you have to either be family or a family friend for one  of the highest-ups.

So, I busted my ass doing the best I could (which I often doubted was close to being good enough) running around a 70 degree store while D was in the office- probably lowering the office temperature so he wouldn't be warm and playing on FB- and he was one of the few people I worked with who tested my patience. I give people chances- most more than they deserve- and D just... eventually I gave up on giving him any chances. He started out ok, claiming to care about us employees, but in the end he turned out to be scum.

Fuck all of that shit.

[iainwrites]

The Rise of Skywalker Likes and Dislikes

This is going to talk very bluntly and blatantly about things that happened in the movie.  So if you’ve been holding off on seeing it, here’s your warning.  Or if you don’t want to read someone criticizing something you enjoyed.  Skip past everything.

Likes:

-Finn at the beginning.  It’s nice to see his character growth from oblivious and try-to-hard former Stormtrooper, to still a little blundering Resistance fighter but still shows he’s capable, to a man confident in himself/in himself/in his friends and allies.

-When Chebacca learns of Leia’s death.  That’s the look of someone who has lost their oldest friends and don’t even have the strength to be angry.  There’s just loss.  THAT is one of the most powerful moments in this whole movie.

-Fine.  Ben’s “Okay bitches.  Now we can do this.” shrug before carving through the Knights is a great bit of physical acting and (I guess) comedy.

-The new main trio meet at the end and… hug.  No kissing.  No pairing off.  Three people who just survived a war and are happy that each is still alive.  Especially Finn.  This is his family and they’re okay.  Not everything has to end with hook-ups or resolved love triangles.  

Dislikes and Opinions:

-Palpatine.  Why?  He did his bit in the prequels, died in the OT, had no bearing in either TFA or TLJ.  So why bring him back now?

-What was the point of Rose in this?  She gets limited screen-time and doesn’t move the plot along.  The movie could have used this as a means to continue its slow show of representation, but apparently that’s a bridge too far.  But we did get Naomi Ackie as a supporting character of color with screentime and lines?  So we… traded?  Maintained?

-The fuck was with that Finn “I have something to tell you” line?  There was no lead in from any of the prior movies at all.  And no, it doesn’t count if it was revealed in the novelisation of either of the previous films.

-So Rey can sense Chewie is on a ship… but can’t tell that he’s on a different ship than the one she blows up?  Or that he’s not on the ship that she’s telekinetically fighting over?

-D-O is cute factor and nothing more or better.  Add onto that: Babu was there for cute factor.  And people shit on Jar Jar (me included) because he was written as something to entertain children.

-Rey is a Palpatine.  Why was that a choice that was made?  Why does she have to be related to anyone pre-existing in the Star Wars canon?  And why did things have to be explained not in the movie, but in tweets, interviews, the novelisation, etc?  Like the fact that Rey is a Palpatine.  Movie made you think that one of her parents was Sheev’s child, right?  Which one?  Sorry, didn’t tell us.  Oh, and it was her father, by the way.  Oh, and he wasn’t Palpatine’s child; he was actually a failed clone of Palpatine.  And that’s just one part.

-How does the blade work in the grand scheme of things?  Was it made after the destruction of the Death Star (because how else would it be able to line up so well with the wreckage)?  Who made it?  Why didn’t they pillage Palpatin’s hidden room of important shit?  Why didn’t they pass it on immediately to Kylo if he’s the second coming of Vader?

-Leia’s death.  Yes, all they had was archival footage.  So you mean to tell me that they couldn’t have done anything with that miraculous CGI technology to create a facial/vocal facsimile?  That they had no point of reference of ever doing that?  That there was absolutely no budget?  Or that rewrites were an impossible thing?  Because “Leia lays down, dies, and gives her son a moment to pause and get stabbed” isn’t doing right by Carrie Fisher or respecting her legacy.  That’s “Well, this is what we have.  Guess all we can do is use only what we have to make something and not put any more effort into it.”

-”We have no source material!” Except the whole “Emperor trying to find a new body” thing was done in Dark Empire.  As was the fact that the Emperor we saw was a clone that decayed rapidly without a Force-strong host.  And the fleet of ships to turn the tide of things was done with the Katana Fleet.  And Force Heal has been done in games like the GBA version of Revenge of the Sith.  And and and.

-Han Solo forgives his son!  Except it’s not Han, or a Force Ghost of Han (because Han wasn’t Force sensitive or trained to become self aware in the Cosmic Force after he died because that’s the explanation that they’ve been establishing in the Clone Wars TV series since the end of Season 6), but a figment of Ben’s imagination.  So Ben imagined that his father forgave him for murdering him.  … That’s not how it works.  If you’re imagining your murder victim forgiving you, there’s probably some deep psychological shit to deal with.

-People have talked about it, so I’ll hop on the train: how in the hell did Lando travel quickly enough to get that many ships when a distress call put out by Leia herself couldn’t shift asses?  How can he cover that much area, gather all those ships, then get through the mists or whatever the shit surround Exogal when one of those tracking beacon/map thingies have been set up as the only way a ship can travel through?

-For everything that Abrams did to negate TLJ, Palpatine’s monologue of Rey’s actions is very similar to Snoke’s monologue of Ren’s actions.  Down to the “HAHA PSYCH!” moment.

-The Knights of Ren are just a shit-show.  The name sounds cool, though, right!  Aaannnddd they’re killed off without a single line said or them proving to be any sort of threat representative of their “feared” name.

-Here’s something: when all the past Jedi are talking to Rey, you’re told who the male voices belong to (including stuff like Young Obi-Wan and Kanan).  But you only get Female Jedi 1 and Female Jedi 2.  That’s kind of fucked up and sexist, right?

-They set up Rey’s anger throughout the trilogy as being her path to the Dark Side (going as far to show what she could be like if she gives into those darker urges)... and never really do anything to resolve it.

-They REALLY lean into the idea that Finn is Force sensitive in this movie, don’t they?  Despite no evidence of it in any other movie.

-The random scene of just revived Rey grasping Ben’s hand and the frames drop (maybe that’s just my copy, but it's still a standout).  If it’s something everyone gets… then why the hell is something that glaring still in the movie.

-The kiss.  The novelisation said that the kiss was one of “gratitude,” but seriously?  Rogue One had a moment of gratitude where Jyn and Cassian are together and they… hug.  That’s it.  Piss off with your gratitude; there was a kiss because this movie substitutes sense with forced fanservice and they knew that people wanted to see Rey and Kylo together at some point.  Just like they likely kept Rose out of the movie because people gave Kelly Marie Tran shit.  Like that could have made the movie even possibly worse.

-Ben dies and fades away… and Leia’s body fades away at the same time.  Even though she’s been dead for a day+ at this point.  Because… she connected her spirit to her son?  See, that’s something I pulled completely out of thin air, but wouldn’t it be nice if that was the truth and the movie actually explained that was what happened instead of just giving random ass coincidences?

-Rey Skywalker.  Why does she have to be Rey Anybody?  There could have been such a positive spin to what she said earlier in the movie.  “Just Rey.”  Have her say it with pride and ownership now.  She’s her own person, unburdened by the names of those who have gone before.  She doesn’t have any name to live up to.

-Fuck you for your obvious, blatant and unecessary fanservice and self pleasing imagery where the twin suns are arranged to look like BB-8.  He’s not so important that one of the last lingering moments has to be of your new creation, Abrams.  You’re not so essential to Star Wars that you have to make a “HEY LOOK AT ME THE GUY WHO MADE THIS MOVIE” made-for-screenshots image.

Meh

-There’s no meh.  There are just rare moments of contentment amongst a constant feeling of disappointment and frustration.

Random Asides

-Kathleen Kennedy did an interview with Rolling Stone in November of 2019 leading up to The Rise of Skywalker.  You may have seen it float around, but she said “Every one of these movies is a particularly hard nut to crack. There’s no source material. We don’t have comic books. We don’t have 800-page novels.”  It’s in relation to how difficult it is to write and direct the movies, but come on.  There’s TONS of source material, dating as far back 1977 for the comics AND the novels.  There might not be 800 page novels, but there are trilogies, doulogies and massive story arcs that exceed those numbers (NJO and Legacy of the Force may not be your thing, but they’re there).  Rebels went and borrowed Zeb’s look from the original script AND took characters directly from Zahn’s Thrawn trilogy; Clone Wars pulled from Legends while Legends were still considered canon and afterwards.  Not all of it is good; it’d be difficult to translate a lot of it to screen without heavy edits these days.

“I love that we have these amazingly passionate fans who care so much. And I know sometimes they may think we don’t listen, but we do, and I thought it was fantastic that people got that engaged. It just showed me and everybody else how much they care. And that’s important for all of us that are doing this. We really look at them as the custodians of this story as much as [we are]. We look at it as kind of a partnership.”  Except when we’re not happy with a product that turns out to be sub-par.  Piss right off.

-Billie Dee Williams seems like he’s dropped in from a different movie entirely.  Not a bad thing; his delivery and presence is just so different from anyone else’s.

All In All

-It’s my least favorite of all the movies.  Worse than any of the prequels.  And say what you will about the prequels: at least they had a connecting story and the director didn’t try to kneecap something that happened in the middle movie before burying it in a shallow grave while taking a dump on the things left behind that didn’t fit in their vision.  It’s worse than Solo.  No amount of fanservice can fix the fact that the movie was by-and-large unenjoyable.   

[sending-the-message]

The sky is a little brighter today thanks to the Black Knight Satellite. by shipinthesea123

After Mondays eclipse, the sky is a little brighter. You probably won't notice it because the source of this extra illumination isn't that large, but I fear this small source of light may will have a unprecedented impact on our planet.

The Black Knight Satellite has turned white....bright white and very bright.

The names Josh, and I work as a custodian at the Space Fence . A now relic of the Air Force Space Command, once served as a the forefront in detection of objects in our immediate space through a series of radio transmissions. Like many other government initiatives, there is a lot more to the story than that. I started work with the initiative in 2004, and continued through the decommission of the effort in 2013. Like most abandoned government projects, someone has to "inspect and protect" government assets. Basically, the technology was outdated and Lockheed, Northrop and Raytheon have all already won the bid for the new and improved space fence, to be built off of Kwajalein Atoll. So, until they completely decommission our operation, myself and a few other staff occupy the last remaining "hot" low-power sites monitoring and sending data down the rabbit hole. I spend my time here in Lake Kickapoo Texas at the Master Transmitter. The seclusion and little interaction with anyone is a nice change from my time in Dallas. The ex wife not having a knowledge of where I am doesn't hurt either.

Those of you who have some interest in the paranormal community may know of the Black Knight Satellite. Spurred by Nikola Tesla's supposed session listening to radio waves from the object. These signals were sent perfectly timed and were deemed by Tesla to be intelligent, or from an intelligent source.

Que the forest fire of speculations and outlandish stories, and the Black Knight quickly became nonsense. Do your curiosity a favor and research it. The BK has so many back stories, it can only be a hoax right?

Not quite.

In October 2013, official word came from our headquarters that Space Fence has been deemed outdated. Our new initiative was to move towards low power duty and automation with the exception of custodial personnel to confirm that the grounds were maintained and automation was left uninterrupted. I liked Lake Kickapoo. This station is based in the middle of a farm, and the little shack on the lake I had bought was perfect. So I asked for the custodial position and received it. Having the ability to sit and monitor radio transmissions from space from 9am to 2pm, then fix a gutter or mow the grass was heaven to me.

To the Black Knight. If you read into the lore of it, radio transmissions seem to be the running theme.

Here's what my briefing uncovered to me and the other staff taking part in the Space Fence;

1) It is a real thing. Our governments are aware of it and when we can spot it, efforts from all parts of the world to catch a glimpse of it or intercept the radio transmissions. The closest man-made satellite usually intercepts a visual or auditory signal. The longest recorded information on the BK was from the International Space Station in 2012. The ISS made visual with the BK. The visuals of the BK confirmed its size to be comparable to a small sedan, with a texture that looked like that of a smooth onyx metal. There was a notable disruption in electronics in the ISS, signalling that the BK has an apparent electromagnetic field. Crew members noted confusion after witnessing the event. The BK disappeared.

2) It has a random, unpredictable pattern. Previously thought to have a polar orbit, no one has been able to predict or discover a pattern to it. It just....disappears.

3) It hasn't been sending a radio signal to us like Tesla originally thought. It has been sending a signal about us. Most are thought to have no knowledge of what the transmissions meant, but after decoding recorded transmissions, many people from around the world have interpreted it to be a basic "Handbook of Humanity". Form our genome codes, to our political structure and religious constructs.

4) Here is the most unsettling fact about the Black Knight. We know nothing else about it. It has appeared harmless, the BK itself. Just a spy station for something/someone. All signs point to extraterrestrial, but really the question to who or why can't be determined. So we've waited. It's been our Elephant in the Room for a while. Everyone in the upper echelons of government know about it. They know it's gathering information and transmitting it back out but why? It has boiled down to the fact that they can't catch it, therefore they can't figure out where it came from and so on.....so why worry about it?

A bit fucked up if you ask me.

But, we who are privy to it's existence carry on our daily duties, knowing that it's there and we do nothing. We just know that this out there. This so called "benign big brother" watching us.

Monday started out like all the others. I wanted to take a little time to catch the eclipse like many other Americans so I started my day early. My director would occasionally drop by to check and see if the compound was good at random drop ins, so I stayed on my toes. I mowed around the length of the radio transmitters, blew the clippings off the parking lot and knocked the few stray shrub limbs off. I keep the place in tip-top shape as if it were active to this day. I laid in the bed of my pickup with my glasses and stared off into the eclipse and life went on like it any other.

I stepped foot back onto my front porch at around 6:03pm, my nightly round of Netflix and shitty TV dinners was on track when my cell phone rang. It displayed a "Unknown Caller" for the ID. Answering it, I expected a recorded message alerting me of my vehicles warranty expiring or the situation with my current credit card debts, but no such luck. It was a disturbing call that I have only heard about people like me receiving in dire consequences. When we communication stations need to be listening....and listening close.

A recorded female voice, hurried but exact in her instructions.

"All Space Fence stations; Protocol H184.... 216.98 MHz Alpha Foxtrot Blue" She repeated this two additional times before the call ended with the beep beep beep signalling it hanging up.

I froze. I was instructed about this in '13 when we brought the fence down. Protocol H183 is a full power up. 216.98 MHz is the fences full operating frequency. AFB.....that's what worried me, it's a signal of a huge issue. Some kind of national disaster or a threat.

Surely this wasn't a test. We're a tick dick away from having all of the power cut to this program, why in the hell would they bring us back up?

My phone rang. Reggie from our fill-in transmitter site in Jordan Lake, AL calling. He had received the same call...Dianne from Gila River, AZ called next. We were all given the orders for a full power up. I sped off to my site.

While heading there, I received an email. Which was almost as shocking since the power down, I rarely received correspondence via email unless it was to receive my W-9 at the end of the year. It lit up with more emails from our group on the project.....the receiving stations were being brought up as well.

Hawkinsville, GA Elephant Butte, NM Sand Diego, CA Tattnal, GA Silver Lake, MS Red River, AR

All were ordered to be at full power by 2359 Eastern Time.

I felt instant nostalgia the minute I went to the main breaker and pumped the primer to flip the breaker. When it snapped into place, I could almost feel the energy running back into the sleeper station. The two red blinking caution lights at either end of the antennas quickly lit up like a runway when the forty or so other lights powered up. My little spot in the Texas desert was back online. Well, almost. This station was usually manned by at least 5 people. Startup wasn't impossible with one man, but timely. Finally at 2100 central time, I went online at 100%. I pulled the plastic film off of the chair in the middle of the control room and fell into the seat. For a moment, the terror of whatever was going on was masked for a moment by the pride of accomplishment. I pulled out my phone and started working my way through the forty some odd emails unread. It was a barrage of "What's going on?" or "Tattnal online" or "Hey, didn't the guy running San Diego die?". Our director, the "boss" never piped in the email exchange until he sent a simple, "Update to come at 0200 EST."

The worst fears came to mind while I checked and rechecked.

Nuclear war? Bio-terrorism? Why the hell is the AFSSS involved? Space Ebola or something?

I couldn't understand why in the hell they wanted the Space Fence online for a disaster? It would almost be like fighting cyber terrorism with a calculator. We're outdated. All we could do it detect things in the atmosphere.

0200 EST came.

An encrypted message hit my inbox. After pulling it and getting it to it's full form, I read the contents.

Air Force Space Surveillance

All Auditory/Radio/Visual Personell

RE: Black Knight

On August 21st, 2017 NASA has reported a sighting of the Black Knight Satellite. One like no other on record. >Approximately 1630 EST, ISS reported the BK had appeared mere feet away from the observation pod. Scientists on >board reported that the surface of BK, usually giving off a solid appearance, now looked fluid. During the 14 minute 34 >second time-frame it was in view, it slowly illuminated. Both cameras, and occupants of the ISS could not view with the >naked eye, or a camera anything decipherable after said illumination event.

A spike in transmissions of all kinds are being reported. Space Fence has been ordered activated to pick up any >anomalies or atmosphere entry.

Keep our ears open at the listening stations and send to HQ for decoding. The boys up top want to know what BK is >saying.

It is moving in a course that is in orbit, but inline with the suns current pattern.

Update through encryption any anomalies noted by your station.

End.

Sleep deprivation is a helluva drug. I can't help but think of the possible scenarios. Why haven't we as a people made a bigger deal of this. Did we just accept the fact that we were being watched and broken down? That this CCTV has been floating right above us and we've just....done nothing.

What is it doing? Why has it lit up?

I received another encrypted email. San Diego is picking up an entry. New Mexico and Arkansas are confirming.

An old friend who deciphers in the AFSSS has called. He says BK is talking...

EVACUATE. INVASION IMMINENT.

Is the BK talking to us though?

[xxsakuragirlxx]

It's summer break, time to pair people up! (Chapter 1)

Summary: supernatural high school AU; it’s summer break, time for the Novak family to pair the fuck out of everybody! Next on their list, Castiel and Dean Winchester. Oh boy.

Word count: 2,126

Pairings: Destiel/ some Sabriel too.

Warnings: mild cursing and Gabriel swinging on a banner naked.

Hope you enjoy ^^

Ten more minutes. Just ten minutes till it’s over.

Balthazar looked over to the classroom’s clock. Endless ticking filled his mind, trying to make him feel like he was stuck in an eternal prison, with no way out.

Staring blankly at the small red clock,not paying attention to their teacher, Mr. Zachariah, who was talking jumble about history or whatever,Balthazar didn’t notice his brother scribbling something down, throwing him a wadded up paper ball his direction.

Balthazar,feeling the impact of the ball,snapped out of his trance looking at the back of the room. Seven desks away in the middle of the room, his brother Lucifer smirked at him. Hands filed neatly under his chin,he nodded his head toward the floor,indicating the paper thrown at him.

Balthazar looked back at the clock, only three minutes passed. He sighed, picking up the crumpled note,opening it, reading carefully of the sloppy handwriting.

I can tell you are getting bored little brother. I’m just as well. Why don’t we sneak out of here for old time sakes? Summer will come quicker than ever and I’m kinda going to miss this place. Not because of learning, but screwing around with the teachers if you know what I mean ;)

The note ended with a sly comment and a winky face. Balthazar scrunched up his face in displeasure snapping his head back to his older brother. Lucifer snickered behind his hand, looking back to the front of the room,playing like he was paying attention the whole time.

Balthazar groaned, shaking his head and crumbling up the note again,throwing it to the waste basket in the front. Sometimes, his brother acted like a damn pervert. Gabriel and him both to be exact. He knew his brother didn’t mean having sex with the teachers,but with the mind Balthazar had,he takes it the wrong way.

He stayed in his desk, not feeling like getting out of class for the last time. It was their last year of being high schoolers. He would totally skipped class just to hang out and not listen to the bull crap that was happening now,but their actions always had consequences.

Detention.

He didn’t really care about getting detention before, but this was the last year. He had to do good to get into college. With the eldest already in college, all the rest of the family members have to support themselves because they knew Lucifer really wouldn’t care. Other than that, would’ve loved to bust out of this hellhole.

Minutes passed by slowly. From the stories he heard from other seniors, time goes by too slow when summer hits.

He finally understood what they meant.

Again, he looked back at the small clock. Five minutes. Those five minutes felt like five years to everyone. If the class could end,lunch could start, some students help cleaned up the school from yesterday’s havoc(with includes the traditional pranking teachers and messing up the whole school. This time,the leader was Gabriel.), have two more periods of the day, then go home,preparing for the next three day for graduation. Between all the events,the Novak family,well some of them, starts their plan. Pairing people up. It was a Novak tradition for them. Get a family member or friend, paired up so they can start dating all the way until their old and stuff. Most of their “clients’’ were successful. For instant, Lucifer started to gain a crush on a certain someone a few months back and ended up dating her.

Lilith.

She was like a demon from hell. Always gotten into trouble, and acted like a slut when she wanted to. Everybody hated her. She was a good girl before,then acted strangely when she started to hang around Alistair and Azrael,delinquents that everybody hated too.

One person didn’t hate Lilith though. You guess right. Lucifer started to hang around the two baddest people in the school, got Lilith’s trust and after some time ,both lost their virginity. It wasn’t even three days yet,and they still made out.

Now,anybody who doesn’t know the second oldest Novak probably thinks he banged lots of women,for gaining the name Lucifer,but the man was actually clean. Not counting Lilith, he never once had sex. The problem was,he seduced to many women. When the time came, they snapped out of it and broke up with him. He didn’t mind anyway, never liked any of them.

Lilith was the first he loved. They didn’t even go on a date,just straight out made love to each other. Surprisingly,he was gently with her, even though she wanted rough sex.

How does one know about this. Well,a certain little brother of his recorded them both having sex in the school’s custodians closet during lunch hours,using it for blackmail whenever it had to be useful. Lucifer found out some time later, which resulted in a fight which also resulted in both staying in the hospital for two weeks.

Ah yes, summer break with the Novak’s is not a time that anyone can forget.

***

“Now class,since we only have two more minutes until lunch, I would like to tell you all something.”

Students woke up hearing Mr. Zachariah voice, sitting up straight in their chairs, some still sleeping,others falling onto the floor.

Their teacher sighed, rubbing his temple in frustration. Why did he ever think becoming a teacher was something fun? Oh right, nobody else will accept him for a job.

Sighing again, Mr. Zachariah open his mouth to speak again, only to be overheard by the bell. Students rose out of their seats, speeding like lighting to go to lunch. Some pumped their fist and the air,shouting and whooping to know they were almost free.

Zachariah plopped himself into his desk’s chair,putting his head in his hands.  He’ll do anything to get fired,doesn’t even matter being jobless or not.

Lucifer and Balthazar rose from their desk,gathered up their belongings and headed straight to the door, leaving their teacher to sulk in peace. Few seconds later, Lucifer strutted right back into the classroom, picking up a marker scribbling the words

Have a nice life you dickweed :D

Ending a sentence with a smiley face, Lucifer left the classroom with Balthazar who was snickering near the door.

“And that little brother, is how you leave a closing signature to your favorite teacher.” Lucifer patted his brother on the shoulder,seeming to be proud of his “accomplishment”.

Balthazar barked out a laugh,punching his brother playfully in his arm. The duo walked into the bunched and crowded hallway,seeing students grabbing all their belongings or throwing most everything the the almost full garbage cans. Students slammed their lockers shut for good,running to the lunch room one final time.

“God,I’m going to miss this place.” Balthazar broke the silence, eyes glistening over the building interior.

Angelic High.

He hated this school, mostly because of the teachers and the vice Principal,but he has fond memories of this place.

He remembers going into science class one day, being surprised with a powerful blast. It knocked him out for a few minutes, which worried the pranksters behind the scheme. It didn’t worry them after when Balthazar snapped open his eyes, screaming bloody murder when finds his voice high pitched. Remembers when Gabriel showed him the recording of Lucifer and Lilith having sex in the custodian’s closet. Both started pretending to be the couple, making moans and groans. Lucifer heard them and well….you know what happens. Gabriel running to him in the hallway,chatting excitedly about finally catching his “moose”, which was actually Dean Winchester’s little brother Sam. Hell, even remembers their littlest brother, Castiel, first entering the school,being shaken at first, but with comforting hands and words, he felt more dependent for himself and walked the hallways with confidence.

Lucifer scoffed,breaking the memories apart from Balthazar.

“I’m not. The only thing I’m going to miss is the closest Lilith and me made out in.”

“Dude,really?” Balthazar replied back. He knows somewhere in his brother’s head had to be some kind of memory that didn’t include having sex with someone.

“Yep,” Lucifer smirked, when his brother shook his head, “ probably that too.”

Balthazar raised his head to where his brother was looking at. The staircase, which lead to the second floor of the building, had someone standing on the ledge. Half of the school had their phones out, recording whoever was at top. People cheered and shouted in amusement. Lucifer ran towards the crowd, joining in the excitement. Taking out his phone also, Lucifer shouted at the person. “Come on Gabe, do it! Jump!”

Dear God it wasn’t-

Balthazar couldn’t even finished the thought. People started to screamed out in pure joy when the banner at the staircase for the seniors,ripped off,supporting whoever was on- holy shit,was that Gabriel!

Balthazar mouth went agape in pure shock seeing his naked brother swinging around on the broken banner, holding in one hand a whiskey bottle.

Problem solved. Gabriel is drunk.

And of course,he was stupid enough to swing off the banner,surely drunk. To make it even more “special”, Gabriel took one more swing of the liquor, shouting at the top of his lungs “School’s out bitches!”

Everyone screamed back, excited by the event that was going on. Anyone out the school was probably thinking a damn party was taking place.

Everyone’s screams stopped instantly, hearing the harsh voice of the vice principal. “What the hell is going on here?!”

Balthazar and the others stood stalk still. Gabriel continued to swing, not noticing the vice principal was near, throwing  his head back singing proudly to the lyrics of “Wrecking Ball”. “I came in like a wrecking ball~.” I never hit so hard in love~.”

The vice principal cringed in disgust,seeing one of her students naked and singing a horrid song. She pulled out her bullhorn, putting it on full blast. “Novak!”

Gabriel snapped his head back up, shaking it left and right,seeming to be dazed. “Who,what,where,why? What’s going on? Sammy,is that you?”

“Novak, get down from the banner and put some clothes on! You’re a senior for God’s sake,show yourself and others some damn respect!”

Gabriel, still completely dazed, smiled at the vice principal. He let go of the banner,yelling out to his brother. “Luci, catch me~” Lucifer stepped to the side a little bit, cringing like the others hearing the hard smack of his little brother body impacting the cold marble floor.

“Sorry little brother,I’m not touching your naked body.”

The vice principal look to the ground, having no expression what so ever to what happened. She looked back up, to still see the crowd of students still standing and staring at her.

“Well,what are you waiting for? Get back to class!” Soon as the words were shouted,the late bell rung. Students ran to their classes,knowing how angry the vice principal gets when no one listens to her. Once the hallway was cleared, Lucifer, Gabriel, and Balthazar were the only ones left.

“Alright Novak’s, to my office.” the principal rubbed her temple, having to be tired of dealing with these brats. Lucifer stood where he stand, not moving an inch,arms across his chest. Balthazar did the same thing,he wasn’t going back to the office. He didn’t do anything this time, so that counts as an excuse. Gabriel was…..he looked like a dead person. Only thing missing was some blood.

Yanking out her bullhorn again, she screamed into it, almost making the whole building shake.

“GET TO MY OFFICE,NOW!”

That seemed to get them running. Lucifer picked up Gabriel’s unconscious body,running up the stairs swiftly to fetch his little brother’s clothes. Balthazar made a move, sprinting to his next class,having to miss lunch. At a tug at his jacket, Balthazar stopped in his tracks.

“You too.”

“ B-but i didn’t do anything this time!” Balthazar pleaded,stuttering a little. He didn’t feel like going to his father’s office or her’s . For once too,he was telling the truth. The only thing he did was stare horrified at the fourth eldest butt.

“I don’t care.” She hissed at him.The vice principal dragged Balthazar by his jacket’s neck collar,making him gag a little. Falling onto his butt, Balthazar spread out his arms, flapping it hurriedly trying to free himself. Lucifer with a fully clothed Gabriel in his arms,followed soon after,all making their way to the office.

Oh how they hated this freaking school.

[randomnameless]

Chapter 6 - opening narration!

In a continent far far away…

Pursued by the Empire’s sinister agents, Princess Julia races abroad on her pony, custodian of the stolen weapon that can save her people and restore freedom to the continent…

LOL NOPE - IT’S SELIPH’S TIME!

don’t forget Andrei 

Just as planned? You just have to pull your hair back and you’ll turn into a villaing that was so charismatic his creator had no idea how to kill him.

and here goes FE5′s plot, in one line - i mean, opposition from Thracia who conquered Leonster was crushed, but this is unimportant to Arvis. And the first who comments “what about Miletos” will be cursed in his/her next Fe Heroes summon

What about Verdane? Augstry?? They don’t even deserve a line. Or maybe it’s implied they were already subjugated by Siggy himself, back in his days.

“Hurray!” - but his subjects from Granvalle or the natives from everywhere else?

Congratulations! insert some “this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause”.

Playing timeline, again! We at least need a landmark before playing.

Jeez Arvis, you grew… old. Is this what 17 years do to douchebags?

now that he is old, he became a tyrant?

and here it goes! It has been 17 years since they had been assimilated, but now they want independance back. Being a colonial force isn’t always roses and sunshine!

Oh. This is where FE5 brings trouble, for a slave Miranda was, albeit shut off in a monastery, not in, say, Lara’s situation. Misha is still a commander of her peg knights, who are green units, and not a sublackey of the Empire’s forces (even if the extent of her agency is debatable). But there’s also the Xavier issue, while he is alive it’s clear Gustav scorns him, and yet Amalda’s a part of the Empire and doesn’t treat the randoms from Ralph’s village like slaves - hell bandits want to turn them into livestock, not the Empire (who doesn’t give a fuck about them because they’re randoms). 

I guess this line is more about the general situation, Amalda&co are exceptions but this makes FE5 even better in hindsight.

but even I have to admit that this statement is backed up by several convos/materials so yeah, the Dozel rule sucked. why? Because they were Dozels, of course!

Ha, what was I saying? He even looks brutish, because Dozels are brutes and ugly people in sprites are evil people. I know FE uses the “ugly is bad” trope more often than not but this seriously doesn’t help.

Roh, stop shitting on the dead! What has Langbalt done? Oh… yeah. Well, you can shit on him. But at least he had a majestic beard.

Rivough? It used to be the seat of some kingdom back in the day, right? Poor Rivoughs, first they get rekt by Mananan and then they’re trampled by Dozels. Galzus should be pissed.

Slave merchants are in Isaach too?

Johan rules the ancestral capital/Kingdom? You have some nerve dude. Johalvier at least tramples over Holyn’s inheritance, but since it’ll never be brought up ever again we aren’t supposed to care.

Pff - that’s the trusted confident you managed to get Dannan?

The Dozel royals and a random… It really makes no sense why Burian isn’t here (and Johan guarding Dozel) with his HW, if a rebellion should arise or the HW be needed it’d be in Isaach, not in Dozel! But maybe they thought the Isaachians would never rebel…

Jugdral Wars : Episode IV : A New Hope

and they’re fishermen just like Leif’s isolated village?

Growth spurt! You look nice Shanan!

What, they’re buying strength rings every day?

Aideen dubs him Scion of Light when she calls him for soup “Scion of Light, Ulster, Larcei, it’s time to eat!”

good people of Isaach, the propaganda launched by Oifey works nicely. I knew he wasn’t a strategist for nothing!

So Shanan created the Libertation army but delegates leadership to Seliph? Mmh… maybe he has a lot of LS?

Roh, don’t take it out on him because he’s just a random!

“so why don’t you call your useful son with his broken Mc Guffin axe to help us Lord Dannan?”

Stupid Dozel, he can’t read a dub right! It’s “Scion of Light” not “spawn of Sigurd the Traitor”!

Uh… yeah? I’d have thought Shanan’d be the more problematic one, you know, a full blooded Crusader of Odo, the son of the previous King, etc…

“Uh Lord Arvis, there is a rebellion and i don’t know what to do.” “destroy them with your Holy Weapon!” “yeah but I gave it to Burian.” “incompetent fool”

Oh noes! They will capture the girls and put them in a dungeon and Aideen’ll be stoned - wait wrong game

Sundown? So we’re not in Winter then, because according to Treasure in Winter there is no sun in Northern Isaach.

“but you’re the one who underestimate them you didn’t bring the Helswath!” “it’s not because I do that you’re allowed to do the same!” 

Oifey is a force to be reckoned with? Seriously? Oh wait, he has the WTA advantage, just like Shanan. Just like everyone else tbh. Good thing Seliph starts his rebellion in axe land and not in, say, Thracia.

you had a miserable fishermen’s hamlet surveyed?

“it’s safe to assume” daw Harold. Why are you taking precautions with Danan?

Maybe because he needs your authorisation before moving armed forces??

damn those Isaachian savages!

Wee, murder time!

nothing bad will happen at Rivough i mean it’s not like it had already been destroyed in one night in the previous war.

you look like a highly charismatic character i’ll expect you to have a lot of dialogue.

maybe they just want to buy fish??

are the pessimistic one Larcei?

jeez we can’t defend castles in this game! What are you even talking about Larcei?!

What you don’t want to defend the castle but destroy them as they march on us? We don’t even have an Arden to guard the castle!

Shanan’s been wanting to explore unknown horizons and Oifey went to groom his moustache in the nearby city, since ours doesn’t have a barber.

you have WTA, a stupid class and a stupid skill. I mean if i put you in a forest you’re invincible, and unlike your second cousin once removed, you have some def.

don’t call him a coward else he’ll be angry? Or not.

shanan didn’t go to Finn’s classes “how to raise kids”, Leif is way younger than those two!

well they’re Dozels and the first enemies fought in this story, what did you expect? Moral dilemnas?!

Eww, raping bandits are the worst and sadly it’s implied that happens regularly in Isaach.

It’s strange to hear strong!Larcei say those but maybe she became strong!Larcei because of this? Poor random Dozel though, if he knew who he was getting his hands on…

Ulster is visibly conflicted.

Hey, it’s “Scion of Light”!

Wow, 5 lines in and you already show more wits than your dad! GG Seliph!

in a bush to increase avoid Selph, don’t forget the bush.

and this is where “mellow!Ulster” dies. FE13 tried to paint him as calm guy but by Seliph’s words he’s as hot blooded as Larcei, but he tries to obey to Shanan’s orders.

“i didn’t want to involve you in our battle plan since you suck” poor Seliph :’(

“as the good fodder they are, the soldiers’ll want to kill them all!”

Hero calling! Go!

and here starts Ulster’s downfall, being cut in his dialogue is the first step to becoming a side character. At the end, he won’t even have dialogue.

“healers in the kitchen!” wow is that a Chalphy thing? Quan was so progressive!

“i didn’t try to convince Larcei to retreat to the kitchen, i tried to convince her to take me with her on the battlefield, it’s different!”

What could be more cruel than rapings?

Daw Lana! You don’t know, it’s the new trendy game in the capital! It’s called “kill a rebel”! You should try it!

I may not fight, but this staff i carry can heal your wounded. Take me with you, and you’ll be very glad you did.

well if you die i get a game over, so it’ll obviously end well.

i hold you to that Seliph I swear if you miss at 80% or get killed by a random axeman I’ll ship you with Julia

Only four people? “my cousin took on a castle with four people” “he got jailed and had to be rescued afterwards!!”