#the curse of being a fukunaga fan is that writing him is a pain in the ass

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

Fukutora Drabble — Kenma and Fukunaga have a little chat

Roughly 680 words, Kenma's POV, this is Fukutora but Tora's mostly just mentioned, TLDR Kenma is tired

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As a general rule of thumb Kenma avoids other people’s love lives like the plague. He stands idly by at training camp when Bokuto makes goo-goo eyes at Akaashi instead of the balls he’s supposed to be spiking. He ignores Shoyo’s weird insult-flirting with his setter (a difficult task since they do it mid-game) and turns a blind eye to whatever fruity mess is going on between Karasuno’s tall bitchy blocker and their pinch server. Not even the romantic escapades of his own team interest him— who cares if Inuoka and Shibayama have been hanging out more? That’s none of his business. But this. This is his business. Because the dumb oaf he reluctantly calls a friend keeps making it his business.

He caught Fukunaga before practice one morning and pulled him aside, careful to make sure the topic of today’s discussion was safely out of earshot. Once the coast was clear he turned back to Fukunaga, who stared at him with those beady little eyes of his. Ugh, this was gonna be horrible. 

“Ok, normally I wouldn’t get involved,” Kenma started, already cringing at their impending conversation. “It’s not my job to run around spreading gossip I don’t care about, and I definitely don’t care about this. But he’s actually driving me insane.” He sighed. “Tora’s into you. Like, really into you.” 

Fukunaga blinked, waiting patiently for him to continue. When nothing else came he simply nodded. “I know.” 

“You do?” He nodded again. That made sense, it’s not like Tora was subtle in the slightest. He was pretty sure everyone on Nekoma (minus Lev) knew. Hell, people on other teams knew. Akaashi certainly knew cause Kenma always complained to him about it. A guy as perceptive as Fukunaga was bound to catch on. “Well can you hurry up and turn him down already?” Kenma continued, “I’m getting sick and tired of hearing about it.” 

Fukunaga shook his head, “No can do boss.” 

“What? Why not?” A shrug. How foolish of Kenma to expect an actual response. “You know, it’s kind of messed up to lead him on like that, even if it’s Tora.” 

“I’m not.” 

“Wait… do you actually like him back?” 

Fukunaga gave him a slight smile and flashed a thumbs up. The gears in Kenma’s brain were really turning now. Setting aside Fukunaga’s abysmal taste in men, this wasn’t computing. “Let me get this straight. You know he likes you.”

“Mmm.” 

“And you like him back.” 

“Mhm.” 

“But you’re choosing to sit back and do nothing about it?”

“Bingo.”

It took all of Kenma self-restraint to stop him from slamming his head into the wall. At this rate he was gonna have wrinkles before hitting his 20’s. “Why would you do that?” he groaned, “Don’t you wanna date him or whatever? Actually don’t answer that, thinking about it’s gonna make me gag.” 

Though his expression barely changed the look Fukunaga gave him sent a chill down Kenma’s spine. “I wanna see what happens.” he said.  

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“What he’ll do next.” 

“Huh?” 

“How far he’ll go.”

Kenma rubbed his forehead, exasperated. He almost felt bad for Tora, before remembering that he’s the most insufferable person on the planet. “So what you’re saying is you’re dragging this out on purpose just to watch him embarrass himself week after week trying to impress you.” 

Another nod. “It’s cute.” 

“For you! Not for us! It’s getting really pathetic to watch, Shibayama said it’s giving him second-hand anxiety. Also gross.” 

“Sorry.” He sounded about as sorry as that time he dumped a bucket of water over him and Tora in their first-year. That is to say not at all. 

Kenma just sighed. It was too early for this, and they still had a full morning practice to slog through. “You know Fukunaga, there’s something deeply wrong with you.” 

Before he could respond a voice echoed from the gym. “KENMA! SHOHEI! HELP SET UP THE NET YA JACKASSES!” 

“There’s your man.” Kenma grumbled.

“Yup!” 

“Eww, don’t agree with me.”  

Together they head towards the gym, silently agreeing to never mention this conversation again.