#the cover of the playlist is a photo of her petting a dog on the street

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

Modern Two Bit started making a playlist of songs that reminded him of Marcia the night he got her number. He never told her about the playlist, but when he misses her, he plays it and thinks about her.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Undercover ~ Three ~ Coffee

Pairings: Jake Jensen and OFC Samantha Matthews

The Losers have made it back to their families and are out. Well, almost. A threat against the British crown needs to be handled and the CIA has tapped the Losers for one final mission. And they are sending in Jensen.

Jake Jensen hasn't been a civilian in years but now he's undercover to find out why his target is where he is and who he's after.

Enter Sam, someone who Jake doesn't expect and well, he didn't know he was looking for.

Can Jake handle his mission and falling in love? Especially when the truth leads to a bigger mission than expected?

*~* A Jake Jensen Story *~*

Author's note: this story continues after the events of the Losers. I may weave other characters into it but they are all minor. THE TAGLIST IS OPEN.

The playlist is available on Spotify.

cover photo by me! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Warnings: angst, death, smut, and a bunch of stuff a can’t say because it gives away the plot!

Previous: Two ~ Sam

Story Masterlist // Main Masterlist

The next morning, Jake bounced on his heels at his desk, begging the clock to go faster.  He had a date. Was it a date? Was it just bonding?  Am I crazy? Jake’s mind began to swirl that he missed when his calendar went off, his 10AM appointment upon him.  

“Yo, boss?” Fred pulled Jake out of his mind. “You gonna snooze that or something?” 

“Shit, sorry.”  Jake hit the keyboard and grabbed his mug.  “Going for coffee.” He almost ran to the break room.  He slowed down but before he entered, he took a deep breath.  “You got this Jakey,” he told himself.  He walked in and the room was empty.  His shoulders sagged but he still went into the room to pour himself a cup. Maybe she forgot? 

“Sorry,” he turned to see Sam there, this time in a black and white polka dot shirt and full black skirt. “Mike had me finish something before I could escape.”  

“No, its fine.” Jake smiled at the natural beauty in front of him. “How do you take it?” 

She tilted her head. “Excuse me?” 

Jake stared at her.  “Coffee! I mean, how do you take your coffee?”  A faint tinge of pink graced his cheeks.  

“Cream and two sugars.” She giggled. “Filter, I get it now.”  

“Yeah, I don’t think about it sometimes.”  He made the coffee and handed her the mug.  “So, I noticed you have a very faint accent.”  

“Oh, yeah, I was in England for the first few years before my mum and I moved to New York.  She and my dad split, and she moved here. I was actually born here but moved right after and then back when I was about five.”  

“Very cool.  Do you have any siblings?” 

“Older brother. From my dad’s first marriage. Tony. He’s 12 years older than I am.”   

“And how old are you? I’m 29.” Sam looked at him curiously until he realized he just asked for a woman’s age. “Shit. Ok, I’m just gonna… yeah.”  He turned to leave.  

“Twenty-five.” He turned back.  “I’m 25, well as of next month.” She smiled as if the question hadn’t bothered her.  

Jake was stunned.  Most women would have just rebuffed him and moved on.  But not Sam.  She understood him and for some odd reason, was interested. He didn’t know how to carry on the conversation. “So, any pets?” 

“A cat, Bowie.” She took out her phone to show him a picture of a black cat.  

“You know cats can make a thousand different sounds, but dogs can only make ten?” Jensen smiled. “Cats, not to be trusted.”  

Sam let out peals of laughter which Jake thoroughly enjoyed.  “That’s brilliant.  No wonder I think Bowie is talking to me.”  She looked at her watch.  “Dammit.  Break is over.”  

“Walk you back?” 

“Thank you.” The walked side by side until Jake got the courage to speak again.  “I liked this.  Coffee.”  

“Me too. It’s nice to get to know someone.” Sam gave him a beautiful smile.  He was just about say something else when he heard… 

“Miss Matthews.  Coffee break?” 

Sam had her back to Mike’s office and grimaced. John Fitzpatrick was coming out of Mike’s office. She plastered what Jake could tell was a fake smile and turned around.  “Mr. Fitzgerald, anything you or Mike needed?” 

“No darling, thank you. Just checking in on a budgetary matter with Mike.”  He finally noticed Jake.  “Oh, Jake the IT manager.”  

“Mr. Fitzpatrick,” Jake nodded to him.  “Uh, Sam, I’ll talk to you later.”  He turned on his heel and left, turning the corner out of sight.  He stayed close to listen in.  

“Well Mike, let me know if you have any questions on that discrepancy…” 

“I’ll look into it.  Thanks John.  Sam, can you come in here please?” 

Jake moved to quickly to look like he was going back to his desk when he saw John walk away, a smug look on his face. Jake knew he had about 30 seconds to install the Trojan horse from his computer to the accounting computer and start working through the files.  He swiftly inserted the drive and navigated to the network to find the accounting dedicated server.  He left his virus and backed out before the security team, well his own team, had detected him.  

“Jensen is in,” he mumbled to himself.  He took a sip of his coffee and put his hands behind his head. Step one of the mission was complete.  

Jake put on his jacket and packed up his gear into his back pack when he heard a knock.  He looked up to see Sam with her own jacket on and her bag in hand.  “Walk you out?” she offered.  

“That was my line. baby.”  

Sam blushed at the nickname and smiled shyly at Jake. “Yes, yes it is.”  

Jake grinned at her blush. “Walk you out?” 

“Lead the way.”  

They chatted down to the garage and before Sam could get into her car, Jake cleared his throat.  “So, I was wondering, if, I mean, you don’t have to, but, maybe, if you want…” 

“I would love to get a drink with you, Jake.” Sam’s eyes shone as Jake looked down at her.  

“Good, I mean, yeah, so tomorrow?”  

“Sure, I can meet you at the bar, Sara Lee’s at 7?” 

“Yes absolutely. But I’ll still get coffee with you tomorrow, right?” 

“Of course.  Good night Jake.”  

“Good night, Sam.”  He opened the door for her.  “Wait, the bar is really called Sara Lee’s?” 

“Yep,” with a pop.  “Because nobody does it like Sara Lee’s.”  She shot him a wink and a smile and got in.  

Jake smiled and watched as she drove off. “So that’s why you haven’t answered any text.”  

Jake jumped in the air. “Jesus, Pooch don’t do that.”  

Pooch laughed as the rest of the Losers approached.  “We’re just checking in.  The garage is secure?” Clay said.  

“Yeah, I looped the camera for the next 20 minutes,” Jake said as he looked around.  “I planted the Trojan horse through a back door and its been running to check for anything on Fitzgerald’s computer.  We need a way to tap any personal computers or data pads he may have at home.”  

“Have you made contact with him?” 

“Yeah, we met in the break room.  He’s a douche.” Jake sniffed. 

“And the girl?” Clay studied his man.  “Who is she?” 

“Sam Matthews.  Samantha.  She’s the assistant for my VP, Mike Anderson.”  

“Uh huh.” Pooch smirked. “She’s cute.”  

“She’s beautiful,” Jake automatically responds and then turns beet red. “I mean…” 

Clay laughs. “Nothing wrong with dating if it keeps up your cover. And she is beautiful.”   

Jensen could feel himself being red all over when Aisha came up to him.  “Just be yourself Jake.  She already likes you, you don’t have to be over the top.”  

“Thank Aisha.” Jake rubbed the back of his head.  “I gotta go.  I have dinner with my family.  Friday?” 

“Friday.  Good work Jensen,” Clay patted his back.  

Jake drove to his parents’ house, lost in thought.  He was supposed to just be on a mission, get the bad guy, not meet the girl of his dreams.  Sam is, for all intents and purposes, perfect. As he pulled into the driveway, he parked and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.  All he could see was Sam.  Her beautiful face, full, kissable lips. He sighed, wishing he could see her now.  He could imagine, cupping her face, staring deep into those beautiful eyes before he leaned down and... 

Knock, knock, knock. 

Jake jumped as he looked out the window and saw his mom, Laura, right outside.  He opened the door and climbed out. “Everything alright Jakey?” 

“I’m fine Mom.  Just tired.”  He hugged her and put his arm around her, leading her back to the house. “How was your day?” 

“Oh, good, Savvy called. Everyone is feeling better.  They invited us to the house this weekend.  Boston in the fall is just beautiful.”  

“That’s great Ma.” Jake looked around.  “Hey dad.”  

Adam looked up from the TV.  “Hey son.” His attention went back to the TV.  

“Adam, turn that off, honestly.  Your only child comes for dinner and that’s how you act?”  Laura had her hands on her hip.  Adam sighed as he turned it off and hauled himself off the couch to hug his son.  “Dinner is about ready.”  

“Whatcha making?” Jake sniffed the air.  

“Pot roast and mash.”  

Jake groaned with delight. “That is definitely something I missed Ma; your cooking.”  He sat on his spot at the table, his father at his as his mother dished up the food.  They ate in silence for a moment before Laura cleared her throat.  

“So how is the new job going?  Do you like it enough to stay around?” 

Jake choked slightly.  “Uh, yeah, I like it.  I don’t know if I’ll stay yet.” He felt his ears get red which his father noticed.  

“Who’s the girl?” 

Jake really choked this time and Adam jumped up to clap him on the back.  After a swallow of water, Jake turned to his dad.  “How did…” 

“You get red, just like I do when I talked about your mother in the beginning.  So, who is she?” 

Jake flushed.  “Her name is Sam. Samantha.  She is my boss’s assistant.  She’s just…” he sighed… “amazing.”  

Laura smiled. “Pretty?” 

“Beautiful Ma, just beautiful.  And she likes me too.  Asked me to a drink down at Sara Lee’s.”  

“Nobody does drinks like Sara Lee’s,” Adam said with a smirk.  “Are you respectful?” 

“Of course dad, just like you taught me.  She’s got this long hair that’s kinda golden at the tips and these beautiful eyes.  A really subtle accent, English, but she is just...” he blew out his breath, “amazing.”  

“Aww, my baby boy has a crush on a girl.” Laura pinched his cheek and Jake jerked his head away.  

“Ma! Seriously!” 

Adam just laughed. The blush on his son’s cheek was enough to tell him that this girl was special. 

Sam was reading in her living room when her phone rang.  She picked it up and smiled.  “Hi papa.”  

“Hello my princess.  How are you?” 

“I’m good, just reading.” Sam smiled. “How are you?” 

“I’m good princess.  Just learning to be retired.  Your brother is handling the job for the most part.”  

“That’s good.  I know Tony will be great.”  Sam chewed her lip.  Her father’s business was not something she liked to talk about.  “So when are you coming to visit me?” 

“Samantha, you know how hard it is for me to travel.  It would be bringing unwanted attention.”  

She frowned. “I know.  I just thought I would ask.”  

“How is your mother?”  Having her father change topics was a sign.  

“She’s good, dating a painter, I think.  I haven’t spoken to her in a couple of days.”  

“And you? Anyone special?” 

Sam blushed.  “Well, there is one guy...” 

“Interesting.”  She could hear a muffled voice in the background.  “I’m sorry princess, I have to go.  Just be careful please.  You are still precious, remember that.”  

“I know papa.  I love you.” 

“I love you.  Talk later.  Oh, and try to call your brother.”  

“My brother hates me, remember?”  

She heard her father sigh.  “No, he doesn’t.  He’s just upset at my actions.  I speak to you later.”  

“Yeah, ok.  Bye papa.”  

“Bye princess.”  

Sam stared at her phone after she hung up.  She and Anthony had a tumultuous relationship due to their father having an affair with her mother.  To be fair, Anthony’s mother had died a couple of years prior but that didn’t stop Anthony from resenting Sam.  She sighed and sent a message.  

Sam: I still love you, big brother 

After no response, she got ready for bed when her phone ding.  

Jake: Sweet dreams princess 

At that Sam smiled.   

Sam: See you there 

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

@kmc1989

@kandis-mom

@lokislady82

[purrincess-chat]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH26

Ahhh! If you’ve read the original, this chapter reads the same up until the end. Lila has a few more tricks up her sleeve this time ;) You can see Emerald Shell in all of his glory here!

Previous       First       Next      AO3

--------------------------------------------------

Chapter 26: Skyscraper

Ladybug raced up the hall, colliding with Chat Noir as she rounded the corner. They blinked at each other, rubbing the sore spots on their heads.

“There’s an akuma loose in the museum,” Chat Noir said.

“I know. Let’s find it before it can akumatize someone.” Ladybug nodded.

“Ladybug! Chat Noir!” Eliott waved from the end of the hall. “I think my friend Marinette is in trouble. She’s had a rough day, and I just saw an akuma floating toward the Greek and Roman hall.”

“Don’t worry about your friend. We’ll take care of it, just get to safety.” Ladybug ordered.

Civilians fled across the lobby, piling out of the entrance as cherubs darted from the ceiling.

“We’re too late,” Ladybug said, yanking Chat Noir to the ground as a headless figure with wings flew at them.

“Looks like Nike is taking a victory lap.” Chat Noir commented.

“Diana too.” Ladybug pointed to the young woman petting a deer. “The akuma must be bringing the art to life. We better hurry and capture it before Paris gets flooded with monsters.”

“And naked people.” Chat Noir shuddered at the thought.

They raced past men and women in period clothes, men and women hardly wearing any clothes. Most were seemingly harmless until they reached Gericault’s Charging Chasseur, and Ladybug stopped Chat Noir just short of his sword. Behind him were several archangels with spears flanked by other monsters.

“How many can you take?” Ladybug asked, brandishing her yoyo.

Chat Noir readied his staff with a wince. “Five, maybe ten.”

Strikes came from all directions, and any attempts to dodge into the air were thwarted by flying creatures and projectiles. They were outnumbered, and there was no sign of the akuma anywhere. Ladybug flipped back several paces until she found herself back-to-back with Chat Noir.

“Lucky Charm!” She caught a ceramic turtle as it materialized.

“Oh great, maybe we can find the akuma, and he can bring your new pet to life.” Chat Noir grunted.

“I think it wants me to go to Master Fu,” she said, palming the figurine. “Can you manage alone for a bit?”

“I can try to give them the runaround, but don’t take your time.” Chat Noir vaulted over the horde, landing on the other side of the hall. “Is that all you chumps got? I’m falling asleep.”

Ladybug slipped out as they took the bait, swinging to Master Fu’s as fast as her yoyo would carry her.

“Master, there’s an akuma at the Louvre that’s bringing all of the artwork to life, and the lucky charm told me to come here.” She explained in a rush.

“Very well.” Master Fu stood to retrieve the Miracle Box, but Ladybug held up a hand.

“Actually, Master, I was thinking we could use yours—if that’s okay!” She pressed her palms together.

Master Fu smiled, removing his bracelet. “Do you have someone you can trust?”

“I have someone in mind.” She nodded. She only hoped she could find him.

“Good luck.”

Back at the museum, Nino bravely tussled with an Egyptian mummy, and her heart sank. Griping the box in her hand a little tighter, she started up the hall in search of another boy. Of course, it was possible that he’d already evacuated, but if luck was on her side, she’d find him.

A high-pitched scream drew Ladybug around the corner. Macy cowered on the floor while Martin shielded her from an angel with his textbook.

“Run, Macy!”

“Not without you!” she cried.

“I’ll hold him off. Go find Marinette; I’m right behind you!” He ordered.

Macy eyed him hesitantly before scrambling from the exhibit.

Ladybug held up the box in her hand, flicking her gaze between it and the boy fighting with a textbook. Her friends came to look for her after she left. Even with a museum filled with monsters and gods, they weren’t abandoning her. Maybe the Miraculous wasn’t intended for who she originally thought.

With a flick of her wrist, she hooked her yoyo around Martin’s chest and pulled him out of the way of a lethal strike just in time.

“Ladybug!” he gasped. “Have you seen my friend Marinette? We’re worried that she might have been akumatized.”

“Your friend is safe, but I need your help,” she said.

“My help?” Martin’s eyebrows raised.

“Martin Michel, this is the Miraculous of the turtle which grants the power of protection. You will use it for the greater good and return it to me at the end of the mission.” She held out the box to him, and he stared with wide eyes.

“You’re giving me a Miraculous? But I’m not really built to be a hero.” He flexed his scrawny arms.

“It takes more than muscles to be a hero, and you’ve already proven your strength in here.” Ladybug tapped his chest. “You are the perfect fit.”

Martin took the box with a gulp, wincing against the flashing light as he opened it.

“Whoa!”

“Greetings! My name is Wayzz, and I am your kwami.” The small turtle held his arms out.

“So, do all Miraculouses come with a magical fairy creature?” Martin tilted his head to the side.

“The kwamis power the Miraculous. The turtle can create a shelter for a brief period of time, but once you activate your power, you only have a few minutes before you change back.” Ladybug explained.

“To transform, all you have to say is, ‘Wayzz, transform me!’”

“Okay.” Martin slipped on the bracelet. “Wayzz, transform me!”

When his transformation finished, Ladybug ushered him along.

“Come on. Chat Noir needs our help.”

Across the museum, Chat Noir raced down the hall pursued by several horses. He turned the corner into another room, but after shrieks from several women, he turned tail and ran the other way, covering his eyes and spouting apologies. When he lowered them, Ladybug and their new ally fell in line beside him.

“Been keeping them busy?” Ladybug asked.

“I thought angels were supposed to be good guys,” Chat Noir said.

“We need to find the akuma,” Ladybug said. They turned the next hall to find a woman sitting calmly on a bench.

“No way!” Chat Noir gasped.

“Mona Lisa?” Martin blinked.

“Have you seen the person who did this to you?” Ladybug asked. Mona Lisa smiled politely, pointing to the other end of the hall. “Thanks!”

“So, who is our new friend?” Chat Noir gestured to Martin as they ran.

“Uh,” he drawled. “You can call me Emerald Shell.”

“Welcome to the team,” Chat Noir said, offering him a hand to shake, but they skidded to a stop in the main lobby where Macy cowered beneath a sword-wielding warrior.

“Macy!” Emerald Shell gasped. He rushed in to block a hit with his shield.

Chat Noir’s stampede caught up to them, blocking all possible exits.

“You got a plan?” Chat Noir asked.

Ladybug summoned another lucky charm.

“Rubber cement?” She pursed her lips, surveying the scene. “Emerald Shell, get Macy out of here. Chat Noir, with me.”

Emerald Shell scooped Macy up and carried her to safety as Ladybug formulated a plan. Rubber cement. What was she supposed to do against an army of paintings with rubber cement? A camera bulb flashed and a pack of dogs raced by. A pale figure with a photo lens covering one eye, surveyed the chaos with a smirk.

“There! I’m betting the akuma is in the camera lens.” Ladybug pointed.

“You’re too late, Ladybug. I am Flash Photo, and soon I’ll have brought all of the artwork to life! You’re outnumbered.”

Ladybug flicked her gaze between the akuma, the rubber cement, Chat Noir, and Emerald Shell as he landed to her left.

“Cover me, and get ready to use your powers when I tell you.” She crouched down, slathering a tile with the glue as Chat Noir fenced two swordsmen. “Help me drive him back.”

“Got it!” Emerald Shell nodded.

He and Ladybug charged at Flash Photo, taking turns throwing kicks and punches. Emerald Shell deflected spears from other paintings with his shield until Ladybug got Flash Photo right where they wanted.

“No!” Flash Photo gasped, tugging his stuck feet in horror.

“Chat Noir!” Ladybug called. He vaulted over to join them, deflecting another spear. “Now, Emerald!”

“Shelter!”

A green barrier encased them, blocking the chaos outside and leaving Flash Photo stuck and alone. Chat Noir paced over with his Cataclysm, touching the camera lens lightly. It crumbled to dust, revealing the black butterfly inside. Ladybug captured the akuma, tossing her lucky charm to send all of the art back to their rightful homes. Emerald Shell lowered his shield, and the barrier faded.

Ladybug knelt beside the man, offering his camera with a smile. “There’s a lot of cool art here, but museum rules say no flash photography,” she said. “Besides, art is best appreciated through your own eyes, not through the lens of a camera.”

“Thanks, Ladybug…” He rubbed the back of his neck with a guilty wince before standing up and slumping off.

“Pound it!” The three heroes said in unison.

“See you later, Bug, new turtle friend.” Chat Noir waved before vaulting off.

Emerald Shell examined his suit with a smile. “I wish Marinette could see me. She’d be really proud.”

“Your identity must remain a secret, even from your friends.” Ladybug reminded him. “But I’m sure she’s proud of you anyway. Superpowers or not.”

He smiled at that, letting his transformation drop and removing the bracelet. “Thanks, Ladybug.”

“I’m sure you’ll find her. She’s probably around here somewhere,” Ladybug said. She tossed her yoyo and gave a small wave. “Bug out!”

♪♫♪ 1000 Doves ♪♫♪

Martin walked the halls, hands in his pockets. Marinette was still nowhere in sight, and he hadn’t run into Eliott or Lisette either. Ladybug’s magic restored everything, so they were probably still searching a different part of the museum. He was just relieved that Marinette wasn’t the victim this time, but it did beg the question that if she wasn’t the akuma, where was she?

“Martin!” His heart skipped as Macy trotted after him. She pulled him into a crushing hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay! I was worried that monster got you.”

“Can’t breathe,” he croaked, and Macy let go. “I’m fine. Ladybug saved me.”

“Ladybug and her new partner! He saved me by the entrance,” Macy said with a giddy grin. “He’s kind of cute. I hope she uses him again.”

Martin faltered, cheeks burning hot. Even if he told Macy the truth, she probably wouldn’t believe him. Still, if she thought Emerald Shell was cute, there was hope she’d think the same about him someday.

“Uh, let’s keep looking for Marinette,” he said.

“You’re right, sorry! Let’s go.” Macy linked her arm through his, and they continued on together.

Maybe someday she’d see him as more than a friend. He could hope anyway.

♪♫♪ I Did Something Bad ♪♫♪

“Marinette!”

Her friends slammed into her side, squishing her between their bodies.

“We were so worried!” Macy said.

“Yeah, when we saw there was an akuma, we thought that it was you.” Eliott nuzzled her hair.

“Well, it almost was me.” Marinette admitted, lowering her gaze. “Adrien talked me out of it.”

“Oh, Marinette.” Macy frowned. “You know you can always talk to us if you’re feeling stressed.”

“Yeah, you don’t have to face everything alone. We’re here to help you.” Martin offered her neatly repacked lunch bag.

“You’ve helped all of us in so many ways, Marinette. If you ever need us, we’re right here.” Lisette added.

“Thank you. I needed that reminder today.” Marinette rubbed her cheek as a tear slid down it, snuggling into their embrace.

“Oh! Speaking of Adrien!” Macy shot up. “His school is about to leave, but he said he would wait at the bottom of the stairs in the lobby for you.”

“Oh, uh.” Marinette winced guiltily, but they all nudged her on.

“Go, Cinderella, before the clock strikes midnight. We’ll meet you at the bus.” Eliott urged, wrapping his arm around Lisette.

Marinette smiled before jogging up the hall. Adrien might not have been the partner she needed to defeat the akuma, but he was the partner Marinette needed to overcome her own demons. Confessing her love while fighting off akumatization wasn’t how she pictured telling Adrien, but now that her feelings were out there, a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Adrien would always be by her side, and Lila would never come between them.

When she reached the top of the stairs, she caught sight of that signature silky, blond hair, a smile curling over her lips. She always thought that once they started dating, she’d get over how dreamy he was, but he really was more handsome than any of the Greek gods depicted in the museum. He turned to her as she skipped down the stairs, eyes softening in the way that made her heart melt.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, touching her lips to his. He lifted her up, spinning around in a circle with a laugh. Setting her down, he nuzzled her cheek with his nose.

“Well, aren’t you two sweet?”

They stopped cold in their tracks. A set of green eyes taunted them from the top of the stairs, sinister and calculating. Adrien pulled Marinette closer.

“Ya know, you two could have just gone along quietly, but you had to do things the hard way,” Lila said, descending the stairs slowly. “Your efforts to expose me have been cute, but I’m going to put an end to this little charade once-and-for-all.”

“Look, Adrien and I don’t care anymore, Lila. Just leave us alone, and we’ll leave you alone,” Marinette said.

“Oh, I’m afraid it’s too late for that, Marinette. You started this war, now I’m going to end it. No one will ever talk to you again when I’m through with you.” Lila paused on the last step. “I warned you not to mess with me, and now you get to pay the price.”

In one fluid motion, she twirled around on one foot and collapsed onto the floor. Her wails echoed through the lobby, every head turning toward them. Lila clutched her ankle as their classmates circled in.

“What happened?” Alya pushed to the front of the group.

“Marinette pushed me down the stairs!” Lila screeched, clutching her foot. “Ow!”

“What?” Marinette, Adrien, and Alya said in unison.

All eyes turned to Marinette mixed with confusion and anger. Marinette glared at Lila, grinding her teeth until they hurt. That stupid, evil wench! There was no way everyone believed her this time.

“That’s not what happened,” Adrien said. “Marinette never touched Lila.”

Alya turned to Marinette, crossing her arms over her chest. “Care to explain?”

“She’s lying. I was at the bottom of the stairs with Adrien. She fell down on purpose,” Marinette said.

“Oh really?” Alya asked.

“Yes!” Marinette shot back. “Why would I push her?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Alya shrugged.

She and Marinette glared through each other until Nino stepped in, holding up defensive hands.

“Let’s not get carried away. Lila is hurt. We should get her to the bus,” he said.

“Please, she’s fine.” Marinette rolled her eyes. “The only thing wrong with her is her habit of bending the truth.”

“I dunno. She seems really hurt,” Rose said as Lila let out a pathetic whimper.

“Why would she pretend to fall down the stairs?” Max asked.

“Because she’s crazy!” Marinette blurted before she could think better of it.

Her old classmates eyed her with puzzled gapes, and Marinette’s world rocked beneath her feet. Lila was doing it all over again. The trust her old friends once had for her was shattering, and the skeptical whispers were already starting.

Marinette’s hands balled into fists at her sides. How could they be so blind? This was exactly why she left in the first place! If she had stayed at Franscoise-Dupont, Lila would have pulled a scheme like this on her eventually. Marinette should have exposed her when she had the chance!

Kim pursed his lips and turned to Alix. “Isn’t there a security camera or something we can check?”

“Not for this stairwell.” Alix shook her head. “Trust me, I grind down these rails all the time because my dad can’t see me. It’s a total blind spot.”

“So, it’s Lila’s word versus yours, Marinette,” Alya said her name with a vitriol that made her skin crawl. “What do you have to say?”

“I-” Marinette glanced at each of their faces, stomach churning in knots.

“Why would you do this to me, Marinette?” Lila whimpered. “What have I ever done to you?”

Marinette bit her tongue hard, so Adrien spoke up.

“If you won’t believe Marinette, then believe me. She didn’t touch Lila,” he said.

“Of course you’re going to side with Marinette. That doesn’t prove anything.” Alya rolled her eyes.

“But it’s the truth!” Adrien shot back.

“I’m not really sure you two know what that word means anymore,” Alya said.

“Al.” Nino stepped in. “Enough. Let’s just get Lila back to the bus, okay? We can figure out what happened later.”

Alya shot Marinette and Adrien one final glare before stooping to help Lila up. Kim and Ivan helped her hobble to the main entrance, the rest of their classmates trailing slowly behind. Alix hung back, casting Marinette an apologetic wince.

“Sorry. I wish there was a way we could prove what really happened,” she said. “For what it’s worth, I know you never would.”

“Thanks, Alix,” Marinette said.

Alix flashed her a quick smile, then retreated after the rest of the class.

Adrien gave her hand a squeeze. “I better go too. We’ll deal with all of this later. I won’t let her get away with this, I promise.” He planted a quick kiss on her cheek and followed after Alix.

Marinette stood at the base of the stairs, nails digging into her palms until they broke the skin.

If you leave her like this, she’ll never stop.

But why did Marinette have to be the one to stop her?

She’s using all of the people you care about. Doesn’t that make your blood boil?

Of course, it did! Lila didn’t even care about them. All she wanted was attention! These were her friends, the people she loved and fought for. The ones who lifted her up when she was down. The people she grew up with, and Lila was taking them all away!

So, what’s our plan to destroy her?

Marinette made her way across town, her face a stoic mask concealing the rage burning underneath. Lila wanted her to fight back? Well, she was about to get a full storm.

“Dupain-Cheng?” Chloe quirked a brow when she opened the door to her suite.

“I changed my mind. I want to help you take down Lila.”

[olivemac]

1300 miles | chapter two | b.b.

Summary | Bucky Barnes is adjusting to civilian life, living in Brooklyn, visiting Sam in Delacroix when he can, and trying to figure out what he wants. When he meets Jo Landry, the tattooed lead singer of a New Orleans-based band, he thinks he might have found the answer. Too bad they live 1300 miles apart.

Time Frame | post-TFATWS

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x fem!oc

Rating | explicit

Warnings | mentions of combat-related injuries, alcohol use, tattoos/body piercings, coarse language, gay male character, bisexual female character, recreational/medicinal drug use (weed), pet names (doll, Sarge), smut (f/m, mutual masturbation, fingering, very very slight dom!Bucky, praise kink), angst if you squint but not really, and all the romance tropes/fluff because I'm a sucker for it; more warnings to come; 18+ ONLY, minors DNI

A/N | Likes and comments always appreciated. :)

series master list | AO3 link | full master list

1300 miles playlist

Tag | @mrs--barnes

_____

previous chapter

_____

Jo wakes the next morning to a text from Danny: Did you fuck the Winter Soldier?

She rolls her eyes and responds: Fuck off. He’s not the Winter Soldier anymore.

Danny replies with a leaf emoji and the words: Come upstairs.

Jo slides her glasses on and climbs out of bed. She pads into the living room as quietly as she can to find Bucky snoring on her couch with Toulouse perched on his chest. She can’t stop herself from snapping a picture with her phone.

Upstairs, she lets herself into Danny’s apartment. She’s met at the door by Greta, Danny’s PTSD service dog, a medium-sized German Shepherd who waits patiently for Jo to kneel down and scratch her behind her ears.

“Morning, pup,” Jo whispers.

“I’m out here,” Danny calls from his third-floor balcony.

“Coffee?” Jo asks.

“Cold-brew in the fridge,” Danny responds.

She detours to the kitchen before joining Danny at the small table on his balcony.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Jo asks. Danny always smokes the morning after a nightmare.

“They’re called flashbacks, and yes,” he responds, taking a deep drag of the joint.

“But they’re getting better, right?”

"Since you came back, yeah, they're getting better."

“Give me that,” Jo says, reaching for the joint. She takes a drag then exhales slowly. “You can always wake me up when you have a flashback, you know.”

Danny snorts. “I was afraid I’d wander into your bedroom to find you getting dicked down by an Avenger.”

“Please stop,” Jo groans. "You get that you're my brother, right? And this is weird."

Danny laughs, "It's only weird if you make it weird." Then he says, “Seriously, though, what’s the deal with Mister Tall-Dark-and-Handsome? I mean, if Sam trusts him, then he must be a good guy, but he’s literally a hundred years old, Jo.”

“He’s…” she pauses, “really sweet and charming underneath the brooding exterior. I really like him, Danny.”

“But?”

“But he lives in New York,” she whines.

“Yeah,” Danny says, taking another drag on the joint.

“‘Yeah?’ That’s all you’re going to say?”

Danny shrugs. “Some things are worth working for.”

Jo laughs, “Okay, why don’t you get back to me when you’re not high. I’m heading back downstairs.”

“Love you, Josiebean,” Danny says, using the nickname he gave Jo when they were kids.

“Love you, too, Daniel-San,” Jo replies. Danny laughs at the Karate Kid reference like he always does, and Jo kisses his forehead and pats his shoulder before leaving.

_____

Bucky wakes to the smell of coffee and bacon, his stomach rumbling at the scent. There's a warm weight on his chest, and when he opens his eyes he's greeted with the yellow stare of Toulouse.

He looks at his watch. It's a little after eleven. He usually wakes earlier, but he also doesn't usually sleep as soundly as he did last night.

He wanders into the kitchen in his borrowed sweats to find Jo standing at the stove in an oversized t-shirt, shorts, and out-of-season Halloween socks, her hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. Her back is to him, and he takes the opportunity to study her naked legs. More ink peaks out from the hem of her shorts and covers most of her thighs. Bucky has the urge to drop to his knees before her and run his tongue over every intricate design.

Instead, he clears his throat, so he doesn't startle her, and she turns to face him. Her face is bare, and she’s wearing large, gold-rimmed glasses. Bucky can’t decide if she looks prettier like this or like she did last night, with her hair flowing down her back and her guitar in her hands.

"Morning," Jo says. “Sorry to shatter the illusion,” she continues, gesturing to her glasses and outfit.

Bucky smiles. He isn’t sure what the protocol is for greeting the woman you made out with and whose couch you slept on last night, but he decides he wants to kiss her again. He takes the few steps toward her and pulls her into his arms. This close, she has to crane her neck up to look him in the eyes.

“Morning,” he says. They’re so close and his voice is pitched so low that Jo can feel the word rumble in his chest. Butterflies erupt in her stomach.

Bucky leans down slowly and presses his lips against Jo’s. This kiss is softer and slower than the kisses they shared last night, and the heat that explodes in Jo’s lower stomach burns the butterflies away. Her fingers dig into his triceps, one arm yielding to her touch, the other firm against her digits. She sighs and opens her mouth to his tongue, letting him deepen the kiss.

He licks into her mouth, and Jo moans, her hands coming up to cup his stubble-covered cheeks. Bucky’s own hands slide down Jo’s back to her buttocks, pulling her hips flush against his so she can feel the effect she’s having on him. Jo gasps, and Bucky’s lips leave hers to trail wet kisses against her jaw.

When he pulls away, Bucky’s smile is almost smug. He likes all the sounds he’s able to pull from her, and he wants to hear more.

Jo turns back to the stove, catching her breath and trying to hide the flush she knows is rising from her chest to her cheeks.

“Breakfast — well," she looks at the clock on the oven, "brunch — is ready. Have a seat.”

Bucky places a final kiss against the back of Jo’s neck before sitting.

Toulouse rubs against Bucky's legs beneath the kitchen table. He reaches down to scratch Louie between the ears, and the cat lets out a contented chirp.

"He's usually not that nice to strangers," Jo says, watching the two of them from across the room.

"My sister had a cat growing up — big, fat orange thing that was missing half an ear. His name was Marmalade."

Jo smiles brightly and sets a plate of food in front of him. “Coffee?” she asks.

“Please,” Bucky says. “But I can get it.”

“No need,” she says, handing him a mug of fresh coffee. “You want oat milk? Sugar, maybe?”

“Black is good,” Bucky says, taking his first sip.

Jo sits across from him with her own plate and coffee cup. They spend breakfast talking quietly. Bucky likes the domesticity of it. He's gotten used to having breakfast at the Wilson's with Sarah, Sam, and the boys, but this meal with Jo feels more intimate. He has a brief flash of spending every morning like this, but he pushes it away as quickly as it comes. He's trying not to overthink whatever’s happening between himself and Jo. He’s not used to having good things in his life, but he wants to lean into this, take the risk.

"You said last night that you know who I am," Bucky says as they clear their plates from the table.

Jo is quiet for a moment, neatly stacking plates and coffee cups in the dishwasher.

“I may have seen a documentary or two featuring the Howling Commandos,” she says, closing the dishwasher and turning to Bucky. “And Sam and Steve may have crashed in Danny’s apartment for a couple of months when they were on the run following the Accords.”

Bucky is silent. He's staring at Jo with the same brooding intensity as last night, but there's something more in his eyes — a sadness she hadn't noticed earlier. She's seen that look before on Danny when he first came back from Afghanistan. It's the look of someone who's lost everything. But as quickly as it's there, it's gone.

Bucky clears his throat. “You knew Steve?” he asks.

“Yeah. I mean, briefly,” she whispers. “Let me show you something.”

He follows her into the living room where she pulls a box from one of the bookshelves. She empties the contents onto the coffee table; it's a handful of polaroids featuring varied combinations of Jo and Sam and Steve and Danny. Bucky sits on the couch and picks up one of the photos. It's of Steve with a German Shepherd; in the photo Steve is smiling brightly, and Bucky's heart aches at the sight.

"That's Greta," Jo says, sitting next to Bucky, "Danny's dog. She was just a puppy then. She adored Steve."

Bucky laughs through his nose and picks up another photo. This one features Sam and Jo sitting at a table in a kitchen that looks like Jo's but slightly different — Bucky assumes it's Danny's; Sam is clearly in the middle of a story, and Jo's head is thrown back in laughter. A stab of jealousy hits him in the chest — Bucky wants to make her laugh like that. He skims through the rest of the polaroids, finally landing on one of Jo and Steve sitting side by side at a piano, Steve's large frame dwarfing the woman next to him.

"He found out I can play a few '30s and '40s standards on piano," Jo says, smiling at the memory. "There wasn't a lot for him and Sam to do cooped up here for three months, so I taught him some basics."

Bucky stares at the photo for a while before he speaks. "You play piano?" he asks.

"I started on piano, took up guitar when I was ten, then bass when I was thirteen. I can also play drums, organ, banjo, mandolin, and a little violin," she says. "And I have a Bachelors of Music with a concentration in voice."

Bucky stares at her for a moment, then tosses the photo back onto the coffee table and reaches for Jo, pulling her onto his lap. She settles with her legs on either side of his hips and her hands on his shoulders.

"So, you have very talented fingers, then?" Bucky asks with a flirty grin.

Jo rolls her eyes and laughs, but she's secretly pleased with where this interaction seems to be headed. She was worried Bucky would feel like she had kept something from him by not telling him about Steve last night, but he seems to be taking it in stride.

"Thanks for showing me those photographs," Bucky says, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "He gave up everything for me back then, so it's nice to see that maybe he had a little bit of happiness during that time."

"He wanted the same for you," she whispers, nudging her nose against Bucky's.

Bucky kisses her softly, then pulls away, staring into her green eyes. Jo slides her glasses off and sets them on the coffee table behind her.

She drags a finger down his vibranium arm and asks, “Can you feel that?”

Bucky licks his lips. “Yeah. It’s—it’s different from the real one, but yeah.”

Jo hums in acknowledgment but doesn’t say anything else. Their lips meet again, and this time the kiss is longer, needier. Bucky sweeps his tongue into her mouth, and Jo is certain she's going to have beard burn across her face tomorrow. But she doesn't really care.

Jo slides her hands into Bucky's hair, and he sighs into her mouth when she angles her hips against his just right, pressing against him slowly. His grip on her waist tightens before he slips his vibranium hand down across her backside to gently guide her movements. His flesh hand covers her right breast, palming her through her shirt.

Jo's hands leave his hair to slide beneath Bucky's t-shirt. He pulls back from her slightly and puts his hand over hers.

“I have scars,” Bucky warns.

“Okay,” Jo mumbles against his lips, trying for another kiss.

Bucky pulls back again. “They’re not pretty.”

Jo looks at him. “Bucky, do you really think I care about that? Do I look like someone who’s worried about conventional beauty standards?” she jokes. She smiles softly and brings a hand up to cradle his jaw. “You don’t have to show me. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” she whispers, leaning in to kiss him again.

He pulls away from her mouth to tug the shirt over his head before he can overthink it. He’s gorgeous like this, and Jo wants to touch every inch of him. She starts with his chest, and her fingers dance lightly across the scars on Bucky’s left shoulder before she presses a quick kiss to the spot where flesh meets metal. Bucky smiles at the gesture, then his lips are on Jo's neck. As he sucks a mark into the place where her neck meets her shoulder, Bucky slips his flesh hand beneath the fabric of Jo's shirt.

Bucky's thumb slides across her nipple, and he pauses, warm metal against his digit stopping him. Jo can feel Bucky's fingers against her breast, trying to work out what exactly he's touching. She leans back, her hands on Bucky's chest to keep him from following her and pulls her t-shirt over her head.

Bucky's fairly certain his heart stops at the sight before him. He’s not sure what to look at first: the small gold balls that adorn either side of Jo’s erect nipples or the intricate floral design inked on her sternum between and below her breasts, framing them perfectly.

“So…I have my nipples pierced,” Jo says, taking Bucky’s staring for hesitation or confusion.

Bucky licks his lips. “Fuck,” he mutters before running his thumb across her right nipple and taking the left one between his teeth.

Jo hisses and bucks her hips harder against his cock. He's hot and hard beneath her as she grinds against him. The feeling he had last night – of being on fire – has returned, but it's tenfold now. Every thought of taking things slow, every bit of doubt has evaporated in wake of his need to please Jo.

Bucky grips Jo's waist and flips her onto her back on the couch, coming to rest between her open legs.

“Is this okay?” he asks, pressing his bare chest against hers. His dog tags are cool against her skin.

“Very," she breathes.

Bucky's lips find Jo's again before trailing across her jaw, down her neck, and over her breasts. He lets his tongue explore one of her pierced nipples before taking the bud between his teeth and pulling slightly. Jo gasps, and her own hands slide from Bucky's shoulders down his chest and across his stomach, her blunt fingernails scratching against his abs as she goes. She palms his cock through his sweats, and Bucky's hips stutter. His eyes clench shut like he’s in pain, and he pulls away to catch his breath.

"Sorry," Jo says quickly, removing her hand. "We can slow down."

"No," Bucky all but growls, then takes another deep breath and opens his eyes. "No. It's just been," he pauses, "it's been a while since I've done this, and you're kind of driving me crazy, Jo." He lets out a breathy laugh, then seems to sober. "I just—I, uh, need to be in control of some things. If that's okay."

She smiles her understanding before kissing him, softer this time. Bucky leans into the kiss and sweeps his tongue into her mouth, tasting her. He props himself up with his vibranium hand, and his right hand moves back to Jo's breasts, teasing each nipple in turn.

"Tell me what you want," Jo says as Bucky's teeth bite gently at her pulse point.

Bucky presses his lips against Jo's ear and whispers, "Touch yourself. Please. I want to watch you fall apart."

Jo whimpers. She catches the look on Bucky's face as her hand travels down her body and into her shorts. His pupils are blown wide, barely a hint of blue visible around black. She knows her own eyes look much the same.

She hisses when her fingers meet the bundle of nerves between her legs, then slide lower. Bucky can't decide if he wants to watch her hand beneath her shorts or her face. He settles for moving his eyes between her face and breasts, watching them rise and fall with each breath she takes. Finally, he lowers his head back between her breasts and traces the outline of the tattoo there with his tongue. Jo moans and bucks her hips.

Bucky presses his own hips against the couch, trying to find the smallest bit of relief. He's not going to last. It's been too long since he's been with someone this way, and his body feels like a live wire. He reaches up to push the fabric of her shorts aside, moaning when he realizes she's not wearing anything beneath them.

He feels Jo's fingers pull away, and he growls, "Keep touching yourself." She does, her fingers rubbing hard circles into her clit. "Good girl," Bucky praises, and Jo keens, Bucky's name falling from her lips.

He slips his own fingers inside of her. She's so wet and warm, Bucky is afraid he'll finish just from this. Or maybe it will be the sound of her moans that do me in, he thinks. Because she sounds lovely, better than she did on stage last night. And she feels perfect wrapped around his two digits. He adds a third, and Jo's whole body tenses. Bucky can feel her warm heat tighten around his fingers as her legs bend and draw in closer to her body. The sight of Jo coming pushes him over the edge. He's spilling into his sweatpants like a teenager, and he doesn't even care. All he can think of is the sound of Jo, the feel of Jo, the look on Jo's face.

Bucky collapses onto Jo's body, his full weight resting on her for a second before he props himself up again and looks at her. She's smiling sleepily, a slightly dazed look in her eyes, and he can't help but admit that it makes his ego swell to know he can make her smile like that.

"That was..." he starts.

Jo hesitates, then runs her fingers through his hair softly. "Good? Great? Amazing?" she says.

Bucky breathes out a laugh and rests his head on her chest for a moment. "All of the above," he replies. Jo hums, and Bucky continues, lifting his head again to look at her, "You're fucking perfect, doll."

Jo laughs, and replies, "You probably say that to all the girls, Sarge."

Bucky sobers. "No, Jo, I don't. Really." He brushes a strand of hair from her face. "When I said I haven't done this in a while, that was an understatement," he says. Dr. Raynor told him he needed to open up, nurture friendships (or whatever this is turning into), so here he goes. "I wasn't really planning on this happening — not that I'm not glad that it did..." He pauses.

"But you live in New York, and I live here. And we just met,” Jo finishes.

"I don't know how things like this work these days," he says. He's looking at her with such sincerity that Jo thinks her heart might burst. "I told you I wanted to do this right. Dinner, flowers, the whole nine yards.”

Jo cocks her head to the side and smiles. "Let's start with dinner."

_____

They lay in silence for a while, Bucky's head resting on Jo's naked breasts, her fingers running through his hair. Jo's starting to think he's fallen asleep when Bucky speaks again.

“I should probably go,” Bucky says reluctantly. "Sam was expecting my help with the boat today."

"I'll drive you," Jo says. "Just let me get dressed."

"You don't have to do that. I can call a cab."

"Delacroix's, like, an hour outside the city. It'll cost a fortune. Let me drive you."

Bucky hesitates, but Jo nudges at his right shoulder gently until he agrees. He presses a soft kiss to her lips before he stands and offers her a hand. While Bucky moves into the bathroom to change back into his own boxers and jeans, Jo slips into her room. She comes back out wearing jeans and a vintage Lilith Fair t-shirt; she's traded her glasses for contacts. Jo shoves her feet into her combat boots at the door and turns back to kiss Bucky quickly before they leave the apartment.

_____

The drive to Delacroix is quiet except for Jo's Paul Simon playlist thrumming from the car speakers. Bucky thinks he might actually like the music. Or maybe he just likes listening to Jo sing every word.

When Jo pulls up outside Sarah's house, Bucky turns to her from the passenger seat. “I don’t have your number,” he says.

“Give me your phone," she responds, smiling and holding her hand out.

Bucky unlocks his phone and hands it over. Jo saves her number before texting herself so she has his, as well. She deletes the text conversation and hands his phone back.

"There you go, Sarge," she says with a wink.

Bucky leans across the car's console and wraps his vibranium hand around the back of Jo's neck. He pulls her close and presses his lips against hers gently. Jo responds by running her fingers across the stubble on Bucky's jaw and sweeping her tongue into his mouth. A moan rumbles through Bucky's chest, and he tries to move closer to Jo's body, but he knocks his knees roughly against the center divider.

"Shit," he curses, pulling away. "It was easier to kiss a dame in the front seat of a car in the '40s," Bucky complains.

Jo laughs. "Kissing a lot of dames in cars, were you?"

"I got around," Bucky says, a grin on his face.

He feels like himself around Jo – not exactly the person he was before the war, but close. He almost feels like he could be a better version of that man; he wants to be that for Jo. For now, though, it's easy to flirt and laugh with her, watch her eyes light up and her smile brighten.

"I believe it, Sarge," Jo teases. Over Bucky's shoulder, she notices Sam standing on the front porch of the house. "I think I've stolen you away from Sam long enough," she says.

"Please, doll, steal me away anytime," Bucky flirts. He kisses her once more. "I'll see you Tuesday," he whispers, his hand lingering on her cheek before he climbs out of the car.

“Looks like someone had a good night,” Sam laughs as Bucky ascends the front porch steps.

“We are not talking about this,” Bucky grumbles.

“Oh, we’re definitely talking about this,” Sam says, clapping Bucky on the back.

______

next chapter

[elsanna-shenanigans]

April Contest Submission #10: Green Like Flowers

Words: ca. 4,000 Setting: Modern AU Lemon: No CW: mild angst

The train whistled as it left the station. A piercing scream, cutting through the dewy darkness of early morning. Birds, startled awake from their nightly slumber, took to the sky. Fleeing like their wings were on fire, up and away from branches that were all but safe a few moments before. Their small black bodies quickly lost to a sky that had not yet been kissed by an unforgiving sun.

The engine chugged, rhythmically turning large, cold steel wheels. Pulling both itself and its posy of railcars along with it. Quickly picking up speed, outside one of the windows; a dog ran alongside the tracks. His tongue hanging outside his large muzzle, flopping with each bounding leap. He ran on a well-worn path, a frequent activity. The further the train went, the more he fell behind until Elsa could no longer see him. So too did the path fade. Giving way to leaf-covered ground and sparse trees. The click-clack of the train melted into nothing, like the ocean waves when one lives by the sea.

Elsa Settled into her seat but dared not to rest. Her mind racing fasting then the landscape outside the window. The train was still mostly empty, many seats were vacant. She glanced around, taking everything in without fear of looking creepy. The floor was carpet tiles, frayed on every edge but free of at least large debris. The seats, two on each side of the aisle, were a worn blue fabric. Each headrest was adorned with stark white doctor’s table paper. Fluorescent lightbulbs of varying shades of white and yellow had been illuminating the narrow walkways, now dimmed. Allowing the high-backed seats to cast long shadows.

A few rows back an older man sat slouched in his seat, his fedora, which had seen better days, was pulled down to cover his eyes. The ghost of a beard was painted across a jaw held tight by clenched teeth. Next to him, an older woman sat, knitting with the speed of a youth long past. She was counting to herself or perhaps singing. Her thin lips moving in unison with dancing needles. So the yarn was tugged and so too the corners of her mouth.

In another row a small child was fast asleep, curled into his’s mother’s side. The woman’s head tilted back, mouth agape. She wore what looked to be a brand new hoodie, a large sports logo plastered across the chest. It wasn’t a team Elsa recognized, the child shifted slightly, and they too wore a matching hoodie.

Elsa turned back so she was facing forward once more.  She glanced out the smudged windows to see the faintest hint of light, peeking over the horizon. And she took a moment to marvel at the fact she had to travel North, then West, then South, then West again just to reach the opposite coast. All the years of human advancements and there still wasn’t a train that simply went East to West. Instead, it zig-zagged across rivers, over the plains, and through mountains.

A movement to her left caused her to turn. A man about her age sat restlessly in his seat. Large headphones completely engulfed his ears. One hand clutching a phone, the other gesturing wildly through the air - pointer finger and thumb fully extended with the remaining fingers ever so slightly curved inward. His voice was barely above a whisper, Elsa had to strain to hear the words which were choppy, loose, but forever moving forward like a rushing stream over stones.

Just then the door between cars slid open, spilling the outside in. Chains rattled, wind blew, the click-clack of the track demanded attention. And standing there, a young ember, sparking as intense eyes surveyed the nearly empty train car before settling on Elsa and finally flicking to the seat next to her. The door closed as if in agreement and the woman floated over. Two copper veins of braids framed a speckled face. She smiled and sat down without asking.

“I’m Anna,” she said, it wasn’t a comment or an introduction, it was a commanding statement. She was Anna and whoever she was, Elsa had no choice but to deal with the sudden intrusion.

“Elsa.” She replied, trying to match the other’s tone.

This earned a nod from Anna, her head tipping back, chin raised for a brief moment before landing in neutral again. Silence settled like a heavy fog. Elsa was never good at small talk. Through the defining silence, she heard the ticking of knitting needles and soft rap lyrics start again. Nothing from the mother or child, this new woman’s entrance had not been enough to wake them from slumber.

“Where are you headed?” Anna asked, keeping her voice low.

“San Francisco,” Elsa replied, trying to ignore how much the woman’s eyes stabbed right through her.

“Oh what?!?” she paused to take a breath and bring her volume back down. “I’m going there too, maybe we can be train buddies!”

And suddenly the flames that protected the young woman from the outside world parted and Elsa saw, not a commanding bitch of a woman, but an innocence - a kindness that she hadn’t seen in a person in a long time.

“Buddies,” Elsa repeated slowly as if tasting the word for the first time.

This earned another smile from Anna, who had either not noticed Elsa’s lack of enthusiasm or chose to ignore it.

“Well it’s what like, 15 days to get from here,” she pointed beyond Elsa to the series of trees whipping past the window. “Aaaall the way over to there. So I think, it would be nice to have someone to talk to, have meals with, maybe exchange playlists…”

“I mean I don’t know,” she pulled her arms in like pulling a trenchcoat closed. She dared not to let the demons out nor let any new evil in. She hated meeting new people, hated that period of time when stupid questions are asked. Hated, even more, when the friendship was temporary, formed for convenience rather than growth. Why spend all that time putting cereal in a bowl piece by price only to find out theres no milk.

Elsa was not yet old in the traditional sense, but she had lived many lifetimes. Broken enough hearts and had enough hearts be broken, both from love and friendship, to waste even more hourglass sand on the freckled book in the seat next to hers.

“No offense but I don’t really know you.”

Anna laughed, a full-bellied laugh that had her eye squeezed shut and her head tipped back against the paper covering the headrest. Elsa felt her face start to numb and fought the urge to bounce her leg. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip and she turned her head to study the trees.

“We can be train buddies while we get to know each other. Like, we might as well anyway, seeing as we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other anyways.”

Elsa didn’t turn her head, “It is a long train.”  

“Yes and no, the length? Sure. But there’s the cargo cars, the sleeper cars, the dining cars, the private cars, and THEN there’s the passenger cars like this one. Sooo I think I’m gucci when I say; we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”

“Gucci?” Elsa turned, pulled by the odd choice of word. She was met with yet another smile from her unwanted companion and she regretted turning at all.

“Yeah you know, ‘it’s gucci’ or ‘it’s all good’ same thing.” Anna shrugged but otherwise didn’t move, oblivious to Elsa’s inner turmoil and discomfort, instead, she used this as an opening. Like a racer who finally found a way to pass the leader.

“So, let’s just get all the weird basic stuff out of the way. I’m Anna like I said. I’m from Tennessee, born there, lived there, and went to school there. My favorite color is green. I don’t have any pets or siblings. My parents are divorced but they kinda get along. And I fly drones and do photos for realtors. In my spare time, I like watching movies and pretending to read.”

Behind them, the child resting against his mother stirred, his muffed words, likely exaggerated, were somehow loud enough to be heard over everything else. When his mother didn’t respond, he yawned louder till she awoke will a start. Immediately the child leapt up and took off running towards the door Anna came through. Elsa feared he would open it but he waited, bouncing on his heels till his mother, groggy with sleep and not yet aware of the world, shuffled over. Together they disappeared through the door.

“Aaaand you?” Anna asked. Elsa sighed, the reprieve caused by the commotion had ended and she found herself backed into a corner. She had to at least give some answer or she feared the girl would never leave.

“I’m Elsa, I am from the East Coast. I have a master’s degree. I enjoy the color blue.”

  A few beats passed, the train clicking along the tracks. The sun was higher now, its warm beams reaching out at greedy fingers, casting golden whispers within the other girl’s braids.

“Wait, that’s it?”

“Yes.”

“I told you so much more. Are you one of the people who can’t open up and I have to ask a bunch of questions to get them to talk?”

Elsa flinched, she was one of those people. But she didn’t like being called out so directly like that.

Anna smirked, catching the flinch. “I’ll make it less of an interrogation and more of an exchange, so it’s not so scary, alright?”

Elsa nodded, it was actually a good solution to this trap she was in, as much as it pained her to admit that.

“I’m moving to San Francisco or the outskirts at least. What about you?”

“More or less, the same.”

“I have a job lined up with a big real estate firm downtown, I start at the end of the month. And you?”

“At the end of the month, I will be starting my job as well.”

Anna sighed and shifted in her seat, readying a new approach like a hunter with a spear. “So why the train?”

Elsa felt her face redden and she mumbled a quick “I just felt like it.”

And in the spear went, embedded deep within. Its jagged backwards teeth holding it in place. It wasn’t a good answer. It was a very bad answer, one that said too much without saying much at all.

“Oh come on, that’s not an answer!” Anna waited a beat for Elsa to answer before pressing further. “So I’ll ask again, why the train? And this time, no mumbling,  I need you to say it… out loud.”

Elsa exhaled through her nose. And opened her mouth to speak before closing it again. She was at the crossroads of telling a stranger a lie or speaking the truth into existence for the first time. Giving a name to the shadow of guilt that hung over her, maybe it would let go and take with it this spear. Maybe still the light that so gently clung, in a smooth loving caress to Anna’s skin would, if only for a moment, grant her one kiss of its warmth. And so she chose the path, and took a deep breath, and pushed forward.

“I left my husband at the altar. I packed as much as I could into a few pieces of luggage, and hopped on the first train headed west.”

For once, since their meeting, Anna was quiet and Elsa suddenly felt the need to fill the silence.

“I left him my car and anything I didn’t pack, like the dog and my piano. I quit my pointless job as an actuarial analyst via email right before I boarded the train.”

Anna exhaled loudly and blinked purposely a few times before speaking, “You.. wow. Just left everything behind huh?”

“I wanted to get out of town quickly. I couldn’t breathe.” Elsa tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“So you chose probably the slowest mode of transportation to go across the entire country, just because you ‘felt like it’?”

“I figured it would be a fun adventure and give me time to think.”

Anna laughed, “You mean to brood?”

“I didn’t say that”

“Come on Elsa, you weren’t seriously going to mope and look dramatically out the window for 2 weeks were you?”

“Well, when you put it like that, I guess not.”

“Meaning, yes Anna I was but you called me out on it and now I don’t know what to say. Right?”

Elsa made a face, she had known this woman for less than an hour and she was already so far in her head that Elsa might as well charge her rent. But saying her, what she now saw as reckless and impulsive plan, out loud was freeing.

She felt warmth on the back of her neck and turned back to the window to see the sunlight set fire to a field of corn. Brown wispy tops of long green stocks danced in waves, long endless rows bent and swayed. A lone tree in the middle of the field broke the pattern, the stalks that had come to worship at its feet paid the price for being in the shade. They were shorter and more sparse, yet the further from the tree, the more they grew. The further away from the city, the train went, the more Elsa felt like those corn stalks away from the tree.

  +++

The dining car was busier, packed full of life and people. All of whom were in various states of dress. Some sporting loose-fitting sweats, wiping sleep from their eyes. Others in formal business attire, already on their third cup of coffee and 7th morning briefing. The clicking of their keyboards and monotone voices of video calls faded into the conglomerate of sounds contained in the frankly small space.

“Can I get you ladies anything this morning?” a younger woman in uniform asked, she placed two small, single-page menus in front of Elsa and Anna, who each sat on opposite sides of a small booth.

“A coffee and some toast, please.” Elsa handed the menu back, she hadn’t bothered looking, it was a simple basic order that she never struggled to find anywhere she went.

“Umm,” Anna on the other hand was scanning the menu up and down, trying to decide. “Orange juice and a coffee and a bagel with butter instead of cream cheese. Please!” the woman smiled and took her menu, continuing down the row.

It wasn’t long before the food and drinks arrived. Elsa put one sugar in her coffee and sipped it slowly. Outside the large, clean, windows of the dining car, there were vast sprawling fields. It had been only a few days since Anna became her companion and nearly that entire time, the train had seemed to be continually chugging through the same boring field. So much for seeing the country.

Anna dumped several packets of sugar and a few creams into her coffee before taking a large swig and chasing the hot liquid with orange juice. She made a face and busied herself with her bagel.

This is how their mornings went, and it was a comfortable enough routine.

+++

“So listen,” Anna said. They were back in their seats in the passenger car. “The next stop is going to be a long one, apparently there’s a delay further up the tracks and they’re holding us at this next station for a few hours.”

“Yes, I know this. I heard the announcement too.” Elsa mused

“Yeah ok but listen, they said 4 plus hours right? So I googled things around there and I found this!” she handed Elsa her phone, on it was a photo of a waterfall with text below that mentioned a hiking trail.

“I don’t hike, plus I don’t think we have time anyway.” “We wouldn’t BUT! This,” she jabbed the phone screen. “Is a 10-minute walk from the station. See it’s part of a hiking trail but the station itself is a rest stop for the trail. So we’re going.”

There was that commanding presence coming out again. If the waterfall was so close to the station itself, Anna did have a point. So Elsa agreed.

An hour or so later they were stepping off the train onto a dusty brick platform. To call this a station was being generous. There was a small building, which contained two single restrooms, and one vending machine that looked like it hadn’t been serviced in years.

A soft hand grabbed Elsa’s forearm and she found herself being pulled away from the building and towards the beaten path to the waterfall.

+++

“You know, when I left home. No one checked on me. No one text or calls. Not even from my would-be husband.”

“Not text or even a Facebook message?”

“Nope.” Elsa left out a sigh. “I’m not surprised honestly. People say I’m difficult to get to know. At the wedding, the bride’s side was nearly empty. The few people over there just sat there because the groom’s side was full and they wanted a better view.”

Anna picked up a small pebble and tossed it into the stream, it made a soft plop sound before sinking below the surface. “Why did you guys want to get married then?”

“Well,” Elsa chewed on her lower lip for a moment before answering. “When you’re in business people expect things from you. It’s incredibly outdated and sexist too. But you’re expected to have a wife or a husband, expected to have children, expected to own a home, or at least rent somewhere nice. Have a good, clean car, new tech, nice clothes. All those things.”

She paused to copy Anna’s move with the pebble but missed the water completely, the small stone disappearing somewhere in the woods.

“We met at a company gathering and didn’t hate each other. Our drinks were the same, we watched the same evening news, had the same mild interest in the local sports team. It was enough to bolster a conversation. We started dating a few weeks later.”

“What about the wedding?”

Elsa laughed or at least made a sound that was like a laugh. “We had been dating for 2 years. And when I saying dating, I mean we were each other’s plus one to events, and we had dinner together at the nice restaurants. He was up for a promotion, asked if I wanted to get married and I agreed.”

“Wait what, he didn’t romantically propose?”

“No, we were never really intimate. A kiss here and there, maybe a night over to relieve stress. But if I’m honest, we spent most of our time apart and doing our own thing.”

Anna picked up a stick and picked at the bark, her brows pulled together and the ghost of a frown on her face.

“Did you love him?” she asked quietly

Elsa didn’t answer right away, choosing instead to turn her attention to the waterfall. Finally, after a few long minutes of silence, she answered. “No. No, I didn’t love him. And I would bet everything I own that he didn’t love me either.”

This time Anna sighed and scooted closer to Elsa. “You deserve to be loved, Elsa.”

“I’m not sure I even know what love is.”

Anna stood and walked in front of her field of view. Hands on her hips. “Sure you do!”

Elsa responded by standing and making a face.

“Elsa love isn’t a contract, it’s not a business proposal. It’s work and it’s hard but it also good and warm. Love is telling someone about your day and them listening and offering advice. Love is watching a movie together and laughing at the stupid parts. Love is holding someone while they’re sick and telling them dumb jokes to make them feel better. Love is a lot of things, but what love isn’t is convenient.”

“He was very convenient…”

“But was he love?”

“No.”

Anna reached out and took Elsa’s hand, giving it a light squeeze. “It’s okay, you know? You’re going to be okay. Fresh coast, fresh start.”

“Fresh coast, fresh start?” Elsa repeated, confused.

“Yeah, you’re moving to the West Coast, fresh coast, to start anew, fresh start.”

“Fresh coast, fresh start.” Elsa said again, “You know what, I like that.”

Anna beamed and that warm feeling prickled on the back of Elsa’s neck again.

+++

“So we have the colors all picked out, purple and green. And my dress is white but it’s ever so slightly green like it will catch the light, it’s so pretty.” Anna said. They were back in the dining car, having just finished dinner. About a week had passed since the waterfall adventure and train was rolling again. This time outside the window the fields were broken by large rocks and streams. Anna had her phone out, swiping through photos of her wedding prep.

“You sound excited,” Elsa commented, taking a sip of wine.

“Oh, I am! It’s going to be a lot of fun…” Anna looked up suddenly and stared right at Elsa. “You should come!”

“You don’t have to invite me.”

“Oh please, we’re like practically sisters at this point. Like I know what brand of tampon you used and I know that you snore when you sleep.”

“That’s… that’s a weird thing to know.”

“Elsa, everyone snores, pay attention, I’m forwarding you the rsvp so you can fill out what type of food you want.”

Elsa had to smile as she pulled out her phone to answer the email. “What a strange trip this has been. One day I’m running from my own wedding, and now I’m getting invited to a stranger’s.”

“Not a stranger, a friend,” Anna added, smiling warmly.

“A friend,” Elsa repeated, genuinely returning Annan’s smile.

“You know I was just sitting in the dining car, having a coffee and playing a pointless game on my phone. When I suddenly just felt this pull to leave. And I followed it blindly till I saw you. Then it’s like everything clicked. I think we were meant to find each other.”

Elsa was quiet for some time, considering this. Anna had swooped into her field of vision and hadn’t left since. And for once she didn’t mind the company. That warm feeling was back and with it, Elsa found herself agreeing. “I think we were meant to find each other too.”

+++

In the morning they would be arriving in San Francisco and would be going their separate ways. It was likely they wouldn’t see each other again. Sure, they had exchanged numbers - but in a city of 3 million people, it was easy to lose a single soul.

She didn’t want to lose Anna though. This blaze of a woman who dared to knock down Elsa’s walls with a bulldozer. She had never really had a close friend, and as Anna, asleep on her shoulder, stirred in response to a dream - Elsa couldn’t help but wonder if this is what it felt like to be loved.

Anna shifted, reaching out her hand, searching for something. Fingers moved with a purpose, slowly curling and uncurling until their ship reached the harbor. And she wrapped them around Elsa’s hand, holding firmly, as if she was once again reading Elsa’s mind and was too, afraid to let her go.

Elsa decided then and there, that this time would be different. This time she wouldn’t close the door on someone. She gave Anna’s hand a slight squeeze, causing Anna to nestle into the old woman’s neck.

Elsa turned to watch the lights from the city fade into the darkness of the desert. Her neck was warm and this time it traveled down and warmed her whole body. She ran a thumb over Anna’s hand and smiled.

[gothamstreetcat]

things i’ve been tagged in as of late (a masterpost):

I. tagged by - @avacrwder

hardcover or paperback / rent or buy / reads in silence or reads with music / standalone or series / annotations or pristine pages / ebook or physical copy / dog ears or bookmarks / mismatched series or complete set/ going to the library or taking whatever editions they have there / cover matters or you don’t judge / lend books or keep them to yourself  / enjoys lit classes or despises them / browses shops or orders online / reads reviews or goes in blind / unreturned books or clean library record / rereads or once was enough / fanfic enthusiast or a stickler for canon / deep reader or easily distracted / must read the book before seeing the movie or order doesn’t matter / has neat bookshelves or messy bookshelves / skips ahead or resists temptation / reads aloud or in your head / guesses plot twists or never sees them coming

II. tagged by - @marthaskane

describe my blog tag meme 

icon: camren bicondova wearing black lipstick with her hair tied up and in a turtleneck shirt aka the closest embodiment to me i’m going to get. i did try to recreate this photo for my blog but i suck at taking pictures of myself

content: i think when i started this blog it was a lot of spooky content and caryl content (walking dead). i am so sorry for the people who followed me for walking dead content and are still here, somehow. my blog has more or less morphed into a gotham blog and i am very happy about that. however, i will reblog any other content relating to the goth aesthetic, patrick melrose, good omens, and whatever holds my interest for more then five seconds

letter color: white

url: gothamstreetcat

header: an edit i did featuring batcat in an old catwoman comic no one can seem to stand

blog title: ‘bruce wayne die-hard’ I saw the word ‘die-hard’ once and decided i was going to use it

III. tagged by - @harlee-n & @lgbtrogues

Rules: tag 8 people you’d like to get to know better!

favorite colors: mostly black but i do like other colors in certain circumstances 

last song I listened to: yesterday when i wrote this my playlist landed on taylor swift’s ‘peace’ and i’m sticking with it! but i’ve been listening to a lot of her last two albums these last couple days. particularly; london boy, cornelia street, illicit affairs, and i forgot that you existed 

favorite musicians: i don’t think this answers the questions but i really like rock and roll and usually listen to the same bands and whatnot constantly. it’s shameful 

last film I watched: fantasy island and it honestly wasn’t that good

last tv show I watched: degrassi 

favorite character: do you want to see how many times i can type bruce wayne’s name onto this post? selina kyle is also top tier for me. lucious fox and alfred are both criminally underrated. death from sandman, crowley from good omens, joel miller from the last of us, lara croft from tomb raider. i love bridgit pike, harley quinn, poison ivy and jason todd because he needs more love then fans give him + probably a dozen or so other character’s i’m forgetting

sweet, spicy or savoury: savoury and sweet

sparkling water, tea or coffee: coffee first and foremost, sparkling water second (i like polar the best) and (iced) tea last

pets: i have a cat named isis (from batman tas) and a dog named coco

IV. tagged by - @avacrwder

rules: tag some people you want to get to know better

ships: mostly batcat 

last song: betty by taylor swift 

last movie: answered above

currently reading: not really anything right now

currently watching: right now i’ve been replaying the last of time in my free time

V. tagged by @avacrwder

top ten favs (i suck at top ten anything since there is very little that sticks with me and I ‘love’)

MOVIES:

it chaper one (2017)

birds of prey (2020)

joker (2019)

aquamarine (2006)

13 going on 30 (2004)

the rocky horror picture show (1975)

Holloweentown (1998)

it (1990)

spiderman into the spider-verse (2018)

spiderman (2002)

BOOKS: (i don’t even read books like that anymore but i’m also putting books i have on my audible)

good omens - neil gaiman & terry pratchett

between the devil and the deep blue sea - april genevieve tucholke

patrick melrose - edward st. aubyn

nos4a2 - joe hill

it - stephen king

miss peregrine’s home for peculiar children - ranson riggs

the perks of being a wallflower - stephen chbosky

ellen hopkins YA novels

perfect- natasha friend 

milk and honey - rupi kaur

MUSIC:

daughter

elana tonra

dilly dally

ac/dc

halestorm

hayley williams 

taylor swift (i’m putting taylor on this list because even though i don’t listen to her as hardcore as others, i genuinely do think she is very naturally talented)

ozzy osbourne

shunkan

the cure

TOP TEN (CURRENT) (TAYLOR SWIFT) SONGS: (since that’s all i’ve been listening to the last couple days)

peace 

my tears ricochet

illicit affairs

seven

paper rings

london boy

i forgot that you existed

daylight

cornelia street

the man

TV SHOWS:

gotham

jenna marbles (youtube)

pennyworth

good omens

degrassi 

the harley quinn show

birds of prey (2000)

touch

desperate housewives 

batman the animated series

(+ BONUS) VIDEO GAMES:

the last of us

the last of us part II

life is strange

life is strange II

the tomb raider franchise 

particularly angel of darkness

elder scrolls: skyrim 

the sims 4 

alice madness returns

the batman games

VI. tagged by - @avacrwder (i am so sorry but i just copied this from the post you tagged me in)

Elements | tag

AIR

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan*  / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love the chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

* i’ve been making more of an effort to add vegan alternatives to my life. i want to go vegan completely but lately i’ve just been really down and wanna eat whatever i want. however, my favorite switch that i made was finding a vegan coffee creamer i like! it’s the silk almondmilk creamer and if bees had knees they would live wherever that creamer is made. it’s the best. 

i am so sorry for everyone who tagged me in things and didn’t may it onto this post. thank you all so much because it does mean a lot to me. i am going to tag everyone i love but please know participation is always optional. you can either do one of these, all of them, or none. i also think one of these asked for my current time, it is 10:32 in the afternoon 

tagging - @avacrwder (you know i had to tag you just one more time) @marthaskane @brvceselina @apple-grass-and-smiles @stevie-harrington @waynesmanvr @saltybatman @queergordon @keepswingin @sonyarebecchi @selinascatnip @jennasmarbles @twoheartsoneclara @drawing-cookie @harlee-n @yoko-goto @honestmrdual @clara-oswin-oswald @callmeredhood (+ anyone who wants to)

[maluminspace]

Perfect

Genre: fluff

Pairings: Michael Clifford/Luke Hemmings

Word Count: 1.2k

Requested: by @opheliaaurora23​ for Mikemonth 

Hello Laura!!! Can you do Muke getting a pet 😩😩😩😩 thanks 💖💖

(Danielle)

Trigger Warnings: strong language

A/N: This is my first ship fic for mikemonth! I hope you enjoy it.

…

“Don’t ruin this for me, you silly little fluff-balls!” Luke chuckles, placing the two tiny kittens into the open cardboard box that he’s covered in glittery wrapping paper. They both mew softly, staring up at up him with big, confused green eyes.

“Your new daddy will be home any second, so I need you stay quiet for me so you don’t ruin the surprise, okay?”

Of course the two tiny black kittens pay no attention Luke at all. They continue to meow and scrabble around the cardboard box. “I promise that you’ll have lots of cuddles and a big playtime once daddy Michael has met you. I just need you to be quiet for me until then, please.”

Concerned that his boyfriend will hear the kittens before he sees them, Luke decides to put on some music, hoping that it’ll drown out their little noises until he can present Michael with them. He asks his ‘Alexa’ to resume the last playlist he was listening to before placing the little box of kittens in the Kitchen.

The sound of crunching of gravel a moment later alerts Luke to the fact that Michael has arrived home. He quickly lights a couple of candles on the mantelpiece and takes the mug he’d left on the coffee table into the kitchen. He just has enough time to compose himself and paint a neutral expression on his face before the front door opens and closes.

“Hey babe, I’m home…” Michael calls from the hallway. 

Luke checks on the kittens again one last time before heading into the hallway to greet his boyfriend. “Hey angel.” He smiles brightly, “I’m glad your home! How was Calum?”

Michael smiles brightly, toeing off his trainers before padding over to give his boyfriend a cuddle. “Cal’s good.” He replies, sounding a little tired. “We took Duke for a long walk, gossiped about Ashton, y’know.” 

Luke laughs, cuddling Michael closely. “I bet I was gossipped about a little too, huh?”

Michael makes an innocent face. “Only about a specific part of you.” He replies, wiggling his eyebrows cheekily. “I still think Calum’s a tiny bit jealous of me, actually.”

The younger man’s cheeks grow pinker by the second as he playfully slaps Michael’s arm. “No way! If he’s jealous of anyone it’s me.”

“Nah, Cal has a thing for lanky blondes.” Michael teases, tilting his face up to press a kiss to Luke’s lips.

“You just described yourself, too.” Luke giggles. “Wait… Are we narcissists?” He asks, the smile dropping from his face slightly as he ponders the answer to his own question.

Michael shakes his head. “We’re definitely not. We look nothing alike.” 

Before Luke can reply, the current song playing from the living room ends leaving a moment of silence during which a tiny meow drifts into the hallway from the direction of the kitchen.

“What was that?” Michael asks, his brow furrowing as he looks over in the direction the sound came from. “It sounded like…”

Luke curses himself for being so careless, he should have taken Michael into the living room right away. “It was nothing!” He insists, turning Michael away from the kitchen. “Why don’t you go and put your feet up, I’ll bring you in a beer and then we can make dinner, yeah?”

The slightly older man nods, aiming another suspicious glance towards the kitchen before allowing Luke to lead him into the sitting room. “I swear I heard something.”

“Why don’t you tell me more about your walk? Where did you go? I know Calum likes to take Duke to that dog park, did you go there?” Luke asks, trying to distract Michael so that his big surprise isn’t ruined.

Luckily, Michael is easily led and his face brightens in a smile. “Yeah! We saw the cutest little Labrador puppy, Luke, she was so adorable I wanted to bring her home with me.”

Luke giggles, “Well maybe one day we can get a puppy.” He rambles, “right now though, do you want a beer or a glass of wine?”

Michael ponders the question for a moment. “I think we have some wine left over from yesterday, I’ll have that please.”

Nodding, Luke waits for Michael to sit down and curl up with his phone before leaving the room. As soon as he reaches the kitchen, Luke heads over to the lidless, glttery box to check on the kittens. The two little black fluff-balls are curled up together in one corner. Luke falls in love with them both a little more as he reaches down to stroke them gently with the back of one finger.

“I forgot to tell you that…” 

Before Luke can even register the fact that Michael’s voice sounds much closer than it should, the man in question trails off, leaving his sentence unfinished as his eyes find the box Luke is leaning over.

“You were meant to stay in the living room!” Luke whines, trying and failing to hide the box by spreading his arms and crouching further over it.

“What’s in the box?” Michael asks curiously, blatantly ignoring Luke’s distress that he found it in the first place.

It seems pointless to hide the kittens any longer. “I wanted to surprise you.” He mumbles, getting to his feet and carefully lifting the box. “I know how much you’ve always wanted us to have a pet. I finally found the perfect ones…”

Michael steps closer and peers inside the box. His green eyes light up with excitement as he lifts them to meet Luke’s gaze “Kittens?” He gasps.

“Our kittens.” Luke corrects, smiling proudly. “I saw that a local cat shelter was trying to rehome a litter and they were struggling with these two because people are still suspicious of black cats. I saw the photo of them and fell in love, I knew you would as well.”

Michael nods in agreement. “They’re perfect!” He exclaims, “Can I please hold them?”

Laughing at the way his boyfriend instantly turns into an excited child at the sight of his new pets, Luke places the box down on the little breakfast table and carefully picks up one of the kittens. “This one has a tiny little smudge of white on her nose.” He points out, handing her to Michael.

The older man holds the kitten close to his chest, looking down at her like she’s the most precious thing in the world. Luke’s heart is already overflowing with love as he reaches into the box to bring out the second kitten. “This one is the tiniest of the whole litter.” He explains. “Isn’t she gorgeous?”

Michael holds out his free hand to take the other kitten, immediately holding her close and making kissing noises at her and her sister. “They both are.” He replies, “They’re the perfect little additions to our family.”

Seeing his boyfriend turn to mush over the kittens only makes Luke fall in love with Michael even more, something he thought was impossible. “Why don’t you take them into the living room and start thinking of names? I’ll be there in just a second.”

Michael glances up to give Luke the softest smile that’s ever graced his face. “They’re perfect Luke, thank you.”

Luke returns the gesture. “That’s why they were meant to be yours.” He replies, not even caring about how sappy he sounds.

Blushing, Michael returns his attention to the kittens in his arms “I think Daddy Luke is turning soft in his old age.”

Tag list: @clffrd @byxthexway @afuckingunicornn @painkillerash @thrillchaser @moonchildsblack @calumbbyyy @h0tsos @valentinelrh @sexgodashton @megz1985  @myfalsedevotion @aulxna @honeyedlashton @tea4sykes @ghostofmashton  @fairyintheglass @cashworthy @cashtonasfuck @opheliaaurora23 @5sosnsfw @theagenderwhocriedwolf

[vaguelygeiszlerian]

1 to 50

ok i just saw this existed, i live on tumblr mobile where i ignore the activity tab and scroll endlessly, bear w me

Animated character that was your gay awakening? uhhhhhhh,,,....,,,.. if i remembered anything abt my childhood i would tell u, im gonna say rukia from bleach because i want gorgeous short people to step on me

Grilled cheese or PB&J? peanut butter Always... tho if it was a fancy grilled cheese (there is a special preparation).... i would be torn

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? it really depends! i bounce around, i watch a lot of baumgartner restorations, i watch a LOT of nyx fears video essays on horror movies i would never watch, i watch longplays of, like, nier automata bc im still delighted by cryaotic?

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? i dont really get to order a lot of drinks at bars, itll depend, if im with friends ill order as many things off the cocktail menu as my money allows, if im with my parents ill order long island iced teas or whiskey and lemonade

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? i literally own like 3 pairs of shoes, one of which being the only pair i can actually safely wear haha.... but my favorite pair is the black red and gold converse that dont fit anymore but still remind me of high school

Top three cuisines? mexican, italian, whomever the fuck invented kasoundi

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? yeah as said above i have no clue about anything about my childhood so idk i think mum said once that my first proper word was just ‘no’ which sounds abt right

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? idk if my last job counts? i mean i used to do all round garden labor stuff until my pain got worse and i literally couldnt anymore so i got relegated to desk work

Look up. What’s directly across from you? oh a container of pesto i didnt like the flavour of and just... forgot to throw out.... i will do that tomorrow

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a rwby poster signed by ray and jack? its p cool

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? preferred right now? wrapped in a metric fuckton of blankets w my partner

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? i..... dont like bagels

Brunch or midnight snacks? i live a weirdly scheduled life, midnight snacks and brunch are interchangeable to me now, so both

Favorite mug you own i..... dont really have one? all of my actual mugs that are mine have my deadname on them haha

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? overbrewed black coffee that someone left to go cold before dumping six packs of sugar in

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) ‘ And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me ‘ bc we all love a bit of mitski when we are feeling the self isolation creeping in

Fruity or herbal teas? fruity teas only! or rather i drink fruit tisanes! but if you mean actual tea then herbal, i only drink peppermint tea

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? fruits basket! everyone watch the reboot

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? all the books i read for class sucked but medea wasnt so bad

Do you match your socks? only when theyre very fun patterned socks, and even then sometimes i will match them to the wrong pair but the same pattern, aka my double watermelon combo (i have a pair of green socks w watermelons and a pair of black socks w watermelons so)

Have you ever been horseback riding? no and i never will because i am fucking terrified of horses

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) uh.... uh i mean im not sure if it counts as a phase but i was stupid into vampires (to the point of me and my friends constructing the intricate theory that our teacher was a vampire and we had to kill her by the time we graduated (she was not and we did not and i hate all of those people now) i was just the weird conspiracy kid i guess, we used to spend every lunch staring across the oval at a house we were SURE an alien lived in (it was just a plastic bag being rustled by a fan)

Have you ever been to jail? bkdnbrb god no

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? im a lazy susan

Puzzles? i cant solve a rubiks cube but give me a 2000 piece jigsaw and ill sit there for 6 hours trying to solve it

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? oh this is tough..... orange juice, the fancy kind but with no bits in it, i used to like the bits but these days i just want a clean juice experience

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? ,,,,,,the ya fiction section, i never buy anything from there but i like to see if series i read as a teenager ever got new instalments after i stopped liking them

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? how to sleep like a normal person

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? uh, it depends! lizzo or my playlist of musicals! (which is literally just starkid/tcb stuff)

Where could someone find you in a museum? i could literally be anywhere, probably in front of some old piece though, just staring for an hour bc im struck by the majesty of it (and my legs probably locked up so i couldnt move anyway)

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? so i have a nice white button up and some really nice jeans i just got, and my suspenders, and my cool blue heels that i know i cant wear bc my legs cant handle walking in heels anymore, but it would look cool am i right

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? i look up at my roof which is almost entirely covered in glow in the dark stars and then stare into the camera (i wish every day that my roof was like the roof of the healthy harold van, i still have fucking dreams of that beautiful ceiling)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? non traditional? id want a lizard that could curl round my shoulders like a leathery scarf

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? i dont have any photos on my wall so art by default

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i just want the pensive emoji tattooed in the small of my back so if i wear a crop top everyone has to suffer with me

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with fuck superheroes they suck, can i hang out with jason todd red hood style

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? oceans, i want to go to the beach so fucking bad

Favorite mid-2000s song i dont really have a Big Favorite but like..... i constantly thank god for esteban

How do you dress when you’re home alone? ive been in the same sweatpants and old paint shirt i got from my painting and decorating course for three days

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? armchair closest to the kitchen, perfect to make a quick escape if dad comes in

Knives or swords? knives, i dont have the upper body strength for swords

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving? oh uh run away with me by crj, *bwoooooooo buhnuhnuuuuuu buhnuhnuuuuuhhh buhnuhnuuuuhhhhh*

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL BUT SPECIFICALLY ONLY CERTAIN PARTS FROM EACH OF THEM BC COLLECTIVELY THEY SUCK BUT PARTS OF THEM ARE PERFECT

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? no caption i dont want people to really acknowledge that i post things

Name a classic Vine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anQds9PQ7CA

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? hash browns hash browns hash browns ONLY

How do you top your ice cream? god its been so long since ive been able to eat ice cream.... with the reeses peanut butter ice cream shell topping

Do you like Jello? jelly is the pinnacle of our society and i wish i were eating it right now

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? i wish i had a picture of myself and my partner so i could set it as my phone lock screen (that or i wish i had a picture of me and a friend i really dearly miss bc i have pics of her in my phone but not of us together and i want some but i cant bring myself to say so)

How are you at climbing trees? theres a tree in my front yard i used to be able to hang off but nowadays i think id hurt myself just trying to lift my nasty meat sack off the ground trying

[kootenaygoon]

So,

Before changing ownership a decade previous, Tony’s Taphouse had been a biker bar called the Civic. Notorious for its rough clientele and routine bouts of violence, and for harbouring regulars who acted like nocturnal animals, most locals knew it as the Zoo. It had been the preferred haunt for the Hell’s Angels, who had long since been banned from the premises. 

“It took us a long time to turn things around,” my boss told me one night, while I manned the door for a Val Kilmer and the New Coke concert. A crowd of twenty-somethings were smoking all around us.

“Whenever we tried to get people to behave they’d say ‘don’t you know this is the Zoo?’ And I would say ‘yes, and I’m the new zookeeper’.”

My boss reminded me of a small child in an enormous body, slightly immature and with a propensity for breaking stuff. He had a reputation for overdoing things, to the point that the Nelson Police Department had nailed him for multiple assault charges. The other bouncers told me he was well known for choke-slamming unruly patrons into unconsciousness, which was the reason he was no longer allowed to assist us when we ejected the city’s shitheads and drunks. The guy was easily 300 pounds, and scary as hell when provoked. The rest of the time he was an amiable teddy bear, quick to laugh and always game to sing “Chocolate Salty Balls” from South Park at karaoke, much to the chagrin of his embarrassed wife. 

Most of my shifts were spent alongside a fellow ginger beard named Luke who liked playing bad cop to my good cop. During the day he worked at a pet food store, and he was well-known as a huge softie when it came to animals. While I had a tendency to treat Tony’s like my own personal Cheers, he was monosyllabic and ominous. Late into the night we would hang by the entrance swapping jokes and taking turns shovelling back lettuce wraps and chicken strips, clad in all black.

Eventually I suggested we should update our uniforms. There was a local barber named Chris Brach who bounced at Spiritbar and I admired how he dressed and carried himself like an old-school gentleman. We ultimately settled on matching vests with dress button-down shirts, with each bouncer choosing their favourite colour. I chose a blood red that was almost purple, while Luke went with sky blue. Eventually the whole team adopted this new look, making the whole place that much classier. 

Working at Tony’s gave me a whole new perspective on Nelson. I knew who was doing drugs, who was cheating on their spouse, and who was banned from the premises until they came grovelling back to the owners. The Nelson Leafs were preening and omnipresent as peacocks, and in the early hours of the evening I’d encounter the more wholesome members of society as they engaged in events like paint night. Sometimes people would approach me with the latest issue of the Nelson Star, commenting on stories or complimenting me on the cover photo. The print edition was becoming increasingly irrelevant, but Tony’s was one of the few places I could regularly see people consuming it alongside their beer.

From where we stood during our shifts, we looked out at a sports bar that took up the ground floor of the Adventure Hotel. Because we were open later than any other establishment in Nelson, we would watch as the late night crowd funnelled in our direction. Crowds of drunk twenty-somethings would march diagonally across the intersection, ignoring the cross-walks, and it was our job to interpret whether or not they could come into Tony’s based on their lurching gait. Some would nod solemnly when we denied them access, while others would whip themselves into deranged frenzies. They would scream their threats to the uncaring black sky, or demand to talk to the owners. These people pissed me off.

“You’re a good bouncer and everyone loves you, but the other staff have told me you have a tendency to go from zero to sixty pretty quick,” my other boss told me, during a performance review. She was the owner.

“We don’t think it’s a problem, but it’s something we want you to watch out for. Obviously this job can be stressful at times, so it’s up to you to keep your temper in check. It’s about customer service.”

Though there were plenty of threats of violence at Tony’s, it was rare that we actually had to put our hands on people. Most were cowed into submission by our size, and knew they had to play nice if they wanted continued access to the bar. We tried to kill them with kindness, calling them cabs and reassuring them that they’d be welcomed back once they sobered up. More than once I found myself consoling despondent drunks who were horrified by their own behaviour, going through a break-up, or grieving. Some were so confused and inebriated they didn’t know how to get home. I came to love these idiots, or at least most of them, because I considered them part of the Tony’s family.

The most interesting employee was a behemoth brute named Gordo, a holdover from the days of the Zoo, who looked exactly like a bearded Bobby Baccala. The female staff adored him because of his gentle, benevolent presence. He made people feel safe. He wasn’t a bouncer anymore because, like my boss, he’d gone overboard a few too many times. He lived downstairs and oversaw the daily operations, and was only called to help during emergencies. He was the type of guy you didn’t want to fuck with, ever. He loved Tony’s and everyone on staff intensely, and if violence was needed he was more than capable of dispensing it. I’d never met someone with such a fascinating mix of kindness and malevolence to his personality, and I admired how effectively he funnelled his anger in appropriate directions.

One night, during a slow period, he stood out on the street and regaled me with stories of his bouncing days in Toronto. During those years he’d been stabbed and shot multiple times, a fact he delivered with a shy chuckle.

“This one guy was shaking my hand, right? And with his other hand he stabbed me right here,” Gordo said, pointing to his rib cage.

“So I pulled him close to me and snapped his elbow backwards, just like this.”

Gordo recreated the scene with a smile on his face, demonstrating how the guy’s arm had bent the wrong way while the bones snapped and popped. He’d regained control of the situation while the knife was still plunged hilt-deep into his side. He laughed and wiped his eyes, remembering.

“I was a lot bigger back then, if you can imagine that. So the knife didn’t end up doing much damage. It didn’t hit anything significant. Meanwhile this guy’s a puddle on the ground in front of me, whimpering like a little girl.”

When I wasn’t on the door, I would work my way slowly through the lounge area and out to the back patio where people were allowed to smoke. There was a row of comfortable couches and a long counter where people could pull up stools and drink under the gaze of Elephant Mountain. At times I couldn’t believe I was being paid to socialize, and the dance floor playlist introduced me to a new favourite artist: a young Swedish woman named Tove Lo. If we’re talking body, she sang, You got a perfect one so put it on me. If you do me right, we’ll fuck for life, on and on and on. 

Paisley had finally moved home to be with her parents, and her absence had proven to be a boon to my mental health. I still missed my dogs desperately but I was finally free to move on without her constant surveillance and gossip. I decided early on that I wouldn’t date anyone on staff, but there was no shortage of young women who would find excuses to linger by the door or stand outside smoking, sizing me up. Most nights I was still ending up at Natalya’s, where I would crawl into her bed and cap the night off with an early morning fuck in the dark. She’d leave her front door unlocked and we’d pant through our routine without speaking a word. She’d resigned herself to the fact I wasn’t interested in anything beyond that, and she never bothered me with small talk. We had what we had, and that was it.

The sleep deprivation involved with working at Tony’s ended up meaning that I spent most of my weekends asleep, recovering in Brendan’s basement and only leaving the house for necessities. Sunday was my only day off, and I needed that down time to get in the right headspace for the Star. I had a couple of ambitious series going on, including one about the Columbia River Treaty, and I needed my mental faculties operating properly to adequately approach these subjects. I could sense that Ed was growing tired of my rock star attitude and reluctance to put in a full 40-hour work week. I kept finding myself asking why I was still there, but I didn’t have another option available. Both jobs and housing were scarce in Nelson, and I was barely holding on.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” I told my friend Tia one night. She worked at the Hume Hotel but had started her own business called Wurst Dog. We’d been discussing whether I could find some sort of entrepreneurial gig to transition to once I was finished with journalism.

“You just have to take a chance and jump, kid,” she said. “Then see where you land. I’m sure there’s all kinds of people in this town who would give you a job doing social media or something.”

“Or maybe I could be a full-time bouncer and write on the side? Finally finish my manuscript? I dunno.”

Tia smiled and mussed my hair.

“I believe in you,” she said. “You’ve got this.”

The Kootenay Goon

[discovery-lies-in-new-eyes]

1-101 (don't murder me please)

1. what colors are in your room? Blues, grays, black, and some other brighter and more vibrant colors. 2. who was your favorite school teacher? My English professor Niki!3. what are some passions of yours? Finding the beauty in all things, helping others, arts and crafts (anything I can get my hands on I try to learn how to do - currently woodworking and painting are my faves) 4. when you drink coffee, do you like it black or with cream and sugar? Cream and sugar. 5. are you self-conscious about anything? if so, what? I don't really like to be the center of attention. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I guess I feel as though I'm not worthy or enough. Why would anyone want to focus their attention on me?...but I'm working on feeling enough. 6. do you have any tips for self-love? Do anything and everything you can to make yourself feel the way you should about yourself. The more you look inward and focus on the love you deserve to give yourself the more I believe it's projected onto others. I found through yoga and meditation that I've grown to love parts of myself that I never thought possible. That I could give myself an hour a week to focus on me. I never realized that every time I said yes to someone else, not that it's a bad thing, and said yes to other things, too often I might add, it meant focusing less on myself. Somewhere down that road I lost interest in me, and I've realized it's time to give a little love back to myself. Even if it's only an hour a week. It's an hour I say yes to myself. An hour to check in...To learn to love my own company. 7. do you have any stuffed animals? Do you name them? I have a LOT of stuffed animals. They're mostly in the garage now-a-days. Recently, my girlfriend and I went to Wild Adventures to celebrate my birthday, and we won one another stuffed animals. I have a little dinosaur named Dino and she has a little purple elephant named Humfrey!8. do you like drawing or painting more? I love both, but currently painting. 9. how do you sleep? Typically on my left side but I roll in my sleep and wake up on my stomach a lot. I'm lucky enough to fall asleep on skype every night with the mot wonderful person. 10. what are some things that always make you smile? My girlfriend! My besties! Animals! Food...definitely food...especially of the taco variety... 😍😍11. living in the city, mountains, small town, or out in the middle of nowhere? Mm. Mountains or city! 12. what's your dream house? A little cabin in the mountains or a beach house. 13. how many pets do you wish to have? All of the petssssss!!! Oh my goshhhhh. 14. have you ever dyed your hair? do you want to? what color? I had highlights a couple of times when I was a teenager, and I've dyed it with temp. dye a couple times but nothing truly lasting. 15. what's your opinion on keeping a diary? I think it's a wonderful thing, to sort your thoughts and feelings and place them in a keepsake...I've tried to keep a steady journal and I'd stick with it for a few days and then stop for a month and then make a new entry...so I never keep up with it enough. 16. what's your opinion on keeping an art journal? See answer to 15! Lol. Very similar. 17. any art tips? Go with what you're feeling. 18. talk about a moment where time stopped. I've had quite a bit in the past 6 months..you know who you are 😊..but one in particular was the moment my girlfriend gave me my last birthday gift. It's one that will definitely last a lifetime. I cried because I was THAT happy! 19. do you keep playlists for your music? I do! 20. is there anyone out there that you trust with your life? There isa very select few, but yes. 21. are you your number one priority? Not often. 22. do you always type correctly or do you make millions of typos? I make typos often when I'm in a hurry or when I'm extra hyper, but typically I enjoy typing correctly. 23. recommend some music!! Sleeping at last, I prevail, Faber drive, and recently I've come to really enjoy Idina Menzel!24. are your nails perfectly painted, chipped, or plain? Plain Jane. 25. do you believe in wishing on a shooting star? I do! 26. did you see the eclipse? describe it!! I saw a few moments of it! A coworker let me borrow their glasses. We only had about 80%.27. tell us what you love about nature. I love that it's the one place I feel grounded (pun totally not intended). The one place I feel as though I can finally breathe. 28. who are you? describe yourself! Ehhhh. I don't wannaaaa. 29. what type of music do you like, and why? All types ranging from classical to heavy metal with the exception of like 98% country and rap. 30. what's your favorite clothing store?why do you love it so much? Hot topic and old navy but I'm a broke ass college kid so once a year will do it... ☹️ I love that hot topic has all of my nerdy pleasures and badass band ts but I love that old navy has pants that actually fit lol. 31. thrift stores or name brand stores? Thrift!!32. do you like wearing your s.o clothes? Oh. My. God. Is. This. Even. A. Question???? I have a giant pile of my gf's clothes on my bed at all times only about a foot away. She sleeps with a giant pile of mine and leaves half on one side of her and half on the other so if she shifts she can still cuddle with my clothing. She wears my shirts and pj pants to bed every night and ahhhhh asdfghjkl!!! 💙😍33. when did you start tumblr? why did you decide to? Umm. Junior year of high school I think? So about...5 years ago? I'm a junior in college now. I didn't really want a tumblr. The person I was dating at the time wanted me to have one so I did if they made it I would use it. I grew to loveee Tumblr instantly. 34. what's your face care routine? I like to wash my face in the shower, and use face masks. 35. freckles or dimples? Omg...the impossible question.. ermmm freckles! 36. name something you think should be banned from the universe. Littering. 37. tell us something you did as a kid that you loved. Every Sunday my dad and I used to go to the flea market. I miss it. 38. mom or dad? Mom. 39. do you buy expensive things just for the aesthetic or do you actually use everything you buy? Well we've already established I'm a broke college student sooo...typically if I buy it I'm going to use it and get its use out of it. I have a few items for show because I treat myself every now and again but not often. 40. tell us about something you're strongly opinionated about. Politics. 41. do you take peoples advice or do you have to figure things out yourself? I try to figure things out but I don't mind asking for advice whether or not I take it. 42. bra or no bra? Aha 😏😏43. would you rather be cute or comfy? Comfyyy! 44. tell us about a moment in your life where everything went just perfect. When I met her. 45. do you believe in anything? aliens? god? bigfoot? I believe in lots of things. Ghosts. Aliens. Purgatory or an "in between." Love. 46. how much water do you drink a day? I try to drink a lot of water, but I will treat myself with a Sprite here or there. Maybe some tea. 47. how do you feel about your natural hair? Ehhh. I used to hate it. I've more recently grown to like it. I wear it natural on occasion but typically straighten it. 48. what does the sky look like right now? clear? cloudy? pink? blue? rainy? It's looks like a sea of glitter because it's night time. 49. would you be a prince or a king? princess or a queen? Maybe a hobbit? 50. tell us about your favorite outfit! All black! Black skinnies, black vans, and a black v-neck! 51. name a few things you love about yourself. My hair. My eyes. My lips. My heart. 52. are you open-minded? I always try to be. 53. do you judge? could someone come to you in any situation they're in and you not judge them? I would hope I make everyone feel safe enough around me to come to me and know that I'll listen and not judge. Unfortunately society has taught us to make more judgements in first 5 seconds of knowing someone than we can count, and I try my best to break that habit. I try to closely follow, "don't judge a book by its cover."54. do you like planning ahead? I do, but it's good to be spontaneous! 55. tell us how you feel about school. I love learning about things and the way they work. 56. talk about your first pet. My first pet...well I was probably only about 5-7 yrs old and I picked out the runt of the litter of puppies my dog had and named her cowgirl. My first pet I had all on my own was a calico kitten named phantom. 57. chocolate or strawberry milk? Um..neither.. but chocolate if I must pick. 58. were you/are you in a fandom? if so, what? I enjoy cosplay but I don't really consider myself to be in a fandom. 59. spotify, pandora, or itunes? Spotify 60. favorite disney princess movie? Umm..they aren't princesses really but Pocahontas, Mulan, and Moana. 61. favorite disney movie...currently Moana 62. what's a subject that you think people don't talk about enough? History, Psychology, and Politics. 63. how long does it take you to let your phone update? Until it requires me to64. describe the fifth picture on your phone! The 5th from the top is a photo I took of a little fairytale garden named lichgate, and the 5th from the bottom is a picture of my beautiful girlfriend! 65. favorite movie and why? V for Vendetta. I'm fascinated with all of the symbolism. 66. do you watch studio ghibli? what's the first one you saw? what's your favorite one? Nope. 67. you're home alone. describe how the setting is. music? what kind of music? tv on? what show? Music of all sorts or TV while I do my homework. 68. how often do you say "i love you"? I try to say it as I feel it. I let someone know when I do. 69. do you have any weird things you obsess over? Office supplies and pennies 70. do you like being single or do you wish you had a partner? I have a partner!!! I love her very very much. I don't know what I'd do without her. 71. what's the last drink you had? Water. 72. talk about the easiest person to talk to. I would have to say my girlfriend. I'm lucky enough to have her as my gf and as my best friend! I also feel as though I could talk to my other besties about anything and everything. 73. give us some of your favorite blogs! Jiljer735, unevxntful, anything regarding the 100 lol 74. if you could have one wish, what would it be? That I could spend every day with the person I love. 75. do you sing in the shower? I love to! I can't promise it's good but I don't really care lol76. how often do you shave? or do you wax? or do you not shave? I like to shave my armpits very often. At least 4 times a week. Legs aren't always clean shaven. Maybe once or twice a week. I like to keep everything else nice a tidy. 77. tell us about a habit you wish you could stop. Biting my nails. 78. do you listen to your own advice? I try to. 79. do you love yourself? if not, are you trying to? I do a lot more than I used to. It's something that requires daily attention. 80. tell us about your favorite halloween!! what did you dress up as? did you get a lot of candy? I don't remember what I dressed up as, but I remember when I used to run around with my older brother hoping from neighborhood to neighborhood.81. first memory that pops in your head, talk about it. ...god take me back... she told me she never really liked the beach but she also hadn't been too too much...I decided to take her for a night trip to the beach. It was early spring, and the nights were still cold. We made it to the coast, and we laid out on a blanket beneath a sea of stars glistening across the water. Soft music playing. We danced to our song. We watched as the waves crashed into the shore sending out a long blue sparkle because of the bioluminescent phytoplankton. 82. how are you? what are you feeling? how has your week gone? I am well, and I feel well. My week has been pretty stressful and incredibly hectic. 83. rant. I hate that I'm stuck here when I really want to be with my girlfriend on her birthday. I was supposed to see her this weekend but because of Hurricane Irma I refuse to let her travel to see me. 84. do you worry about something a lot? if so, what? That I bore people or that I'm not making them happy because they always seem to be distracted or focused on other things when I'm trying to talk to them. 85. do you think long distance works? I absolutely do, and I think it builds a stronger lasting bond. 86. would you date someone younger than you? older than you? Nope. I have a girlfriend. She's 11 months older. I've dated up to 9 years older and 2 years younger though. I prefer older. 87. name some people you'd love to meet. Umm. Idk.... I'd have to really think about it for a while.... I don't have an answer atm. 88. what were some things you were scared of as a kid? Spiders, needles, furbies, and happy clowns...scary clowns are just fine...it's the happy ones you had to look out for! 89. tell us about your favorite birthday. Probably my 21st birthday that just passed! I got to celebrate with my family. 90. how is high school? It sucks monkey balls. I'm happy in college. 91. tell us the worst pick-up line you've ever heard...."how much does a polar bear weigh?" "enough to break the ice"92. every been groped or catcalled? how'd it make you feel? what did you do? I have been groped as well as catcalled. It made me pretty pissed because someone thought so low of me that they whistled at me like a dog or attempted to feel me up 93. opinion of feminism? Rock on! 94. tell us about a time you got embarrassed. Just recently. I don't really care to talk about it. 95. ever had a pregnancy scare? tell us about it! Never. One great thing about being hella gay is you have the best birth control. 96. tell us about your best friend. Well I've mentioned her quite a bit already and she's breath taking. She has the brightest and biggest heart. She inspires me often. Sam, my best friend of 16 going on 17 years is the bomb.com! I haven't been connected with my other bestie in a while but she's always in my heart and on my mind. I miss her like crazy! 97. what's your opinion on planning your life out? I think it's good to have a plan, but again, it's always great to just go and do. Be spontaneous. Do things that scare you. So what if it's awful timing. Make it work. Have an adventure. 98. describe what you think afterlife is like. I hope I'm reincarnated or that when I'm cremated that they'll plant a tree! 99. talking on the phone or texting? I used to say texting but there's nothing like hearing the voice of someone you care dearly for. 100. how do you feel about the way most teachers treat students? I think that most teachers are exactly their title. They're there to teach. Some are without a doubt awful teachers lol. Some are great, but very few are those ones that stick with us for the rest of our lives. I think teachers are incredible. They put up with a LOT of bullshit and yet are still willing to go out of their way to make sure you understand the things you're learning if only you ask. Many are there to help you. Genuinely help you. 101. what's a word you use more than others? Essentially, fuck, hella, uhhh I dunno.

[mfmagazine]

Debby Ryan

Article by Kelli Kickham

Photo by Everette Perry

The life of an 18-year-old girl usually centers around boys, graduating high school and wondering "what next?" For teen star Debby Ryan, things are a little different. You probably know her from her role as Bailey on The Suite Life on Deck, and now she's getting ready for the premiere of her new show Jessie this fall. Ryan's pretty face has graced the covers of many teen magazines. There's plenty more to come from the talented young actress. She's known for her impeccable comedic timing and adorable smile, both of which she carries with an extraordinary level of poise. Rumor also has it that she bakes some pretty amazing pastries and plans to own a jet-pack sometime in the future. So, you may be wondering, "How can I even start to get to know the ins and outs of one of teen America's favorite stars?" Aw, I'm so glad you asked! Trust me, you've come to the right place.

You decided to pursue acting as a full-time career when you were 10 years old. That's a young age to be making any life decisions. Can you remember the thoughts that were going through your head when you made the decision "Yes, this is what I want to do"?

I realized that every amount of work and sacrifice was worth that moment: sitting by a velvet curtain, pulsing with the adrenaline of preparing to get lost in another world, and take people with me. I wanted to use every minute of free time between school, chores, dance, and homework to immerse myself in that realm. I found myself captivated with spending hours studying characters and acting styles, running lines, go to bed early so I could rehearse before school. That, to me, was better than going to the mall, and worth not having free time.

The Suite Life on Deck is all but wrapped up. Are you going to miss your cast mates? Did you make any friends you think you'll keep in touch with?

Of course. I realized I talk to at least one person or another from Suite Life almost every day. When you work with a group of people for 9 to 12 hours for three of some of the most monumental years of your life, it would be pretty hard not to form bonds. You see so many sides of these people, more often than family sometimes. Honestly, the cast and crew of Suite Life was such a diverse collection of people with so many different skills and experiences; I'm very excited to see where everyone goes from here.

So, moving on to the present-day, congratulations! You are starring in the show Jessie where you play the lead role as-- you guessed it-- Jessie. How are you feeling about the new show?

I'm proud- watching this artful machine with my name on it. Disbelief- that I get to come to work everyday and do what I do. Restless- always looking for some way to make it better. Anxious- can't wait to show my fans what I've been pouring my heart into for the last seven months. Developing this project was some of the most fun work I've ever done. Now that we are in production, it's not only meeting, but actually exceeding my exceptions. It already feels like a family, of such talented people. I get to tell such funny stories, on gorgeous sets, in amazing clothes, alongside talented people. What else could I possibly ask for?

Do you relate to your character at all?

Yeah, I mean, one of my favorite things about this role is that I get to play someone who was raised sort of similarly to my own upbringing. Except Jessie is a much cooler version of myself. She's sweetly strong; confident in her strength that she doesn't feel the need to try and prove it all the time. Plus, she's a funny chick. You know, we both babysat growing up and it seems to have really helped prepare us for the roles we've just found ourselves in. Jessie, as the nanny of 4 crazy kids with the world at their fingertips. Myself, at the helm of a young cast who's brand new to the sitcom world. We both grew up around the military world, and family is very important to us. Both Jessie and I have been encouraged from a young age to find our strength, and fight for the things we believe in.

All the Debby Ryan fans out there already know that singing is a huge passion for you. Do you get to do any writing or singing for this new show?

I always loved to write, and express myself through art. As I watched my brother Chase channel his passions into music, my words started to come with rhythms, and melodies. I'm most interested in the writing/producing side of music, but I can't go five minutes without singing or humming something. Plus, sometimes I write a story that I just need to tell in my voice. That's how "Open Eyes" and "Made of Matches" both were, even though they're insanely different...and Yes, I do get to work on and sing the theme song. Plus, we may or may not work some of my hobbies into the show, as well as how the cast and I have been spending our time [jam sessions!] but Disney and I have established that Jessie is not a music show.

When you work on your music, where do you look for inspiration?

I don't look for it. I couldn't. I never want to sit down with the intention of writing a song. That's when it becomes forced and contrived, and not art and expression. A lot of my writing comes from my acting; feeling what others are feeling and telling someone's story. Come to think of it, last night I wrote lyrics from the perspective of someone whose heart I've watched get broken. I see the situation as it is, why he does what he does, where it leaves him, but sometimes you need to blind yourself of the full view. When I look at him, alone by his own hand, and start to feel his cold of loneliness, trying to chase it away with unfulfilling sparks, holding too tightly and smothering the embers, and letting go the second the orange starts to fade, because it's all or nothing in his fairytale mind, and he's so afraid of being left again.. when my heart starts to break for someone, that's where I get the best songs.

Alright, so we know you're a busy girl. Moving from one TV series to another, working on your music career... assuming that you have any time to do anything extra, what do you do with your spare time? Any hobbies or interests that we might not yet know about?

Well lately, I've been obsessed with taking my kids on cast excursions. Glow in the dark mini golf, breakfast, Disneyland, etc. I go to concerts with my friends, download records, make playlists for my friends, and write about these experiences in my music blog, whoisdebbyanyway.tumblr.com.

Do you have any actresses that you look up to? Have you had the chance to talk or work with her/them?

Emma Stone, Tina Fey, Sandra Bullock, Zooey Deschanel...Growing up, I watched a lot of Amanda Bynes. There's something about a girl who can lose themselves in a role, comedy in particular, in such a ridiculous but genuine and earnest way. Smart, professional, directably, and fearless. Also, I totally see Tina Fey's business sense as a road map to my ideal career. I met Emma Stone at a premiere very briefly, and was enamored by her approachability. Some people fake it on screen. She's genuinely relatable, but still inherently cool. Zoe Saldana's that way as well. That's such a cool balance.

What's the most valuable piece of advice you've ever been given (career oriented or otherwise)?

Learn. Always listen. Ask questions. Soak it all up and use everything as a lesson and an opportunity to become better in every area. Also, learn multiple sides of your trade. I never learned certain things as an actor until I sat in the editing room on Suite Life after work, or the writer's room on hiatus, or shadowed a director during other people's scenes.

You're doing great with family-oriented shows on the Disney Channel. Are you hoping to branch into other genres?

I initially wanted to be in independent drama films, but I fell in love with multi-camera sitcom style. The older progression of what I do would be something like The Big Bang Theory or Friends. But I would like to branch into another genre of television: I watch a lot of NCIS, so something like that, or Psych or the Warehouse. That feels like a mini-film, with plenty of drama and splashes of comedy. Also, I've discovered randomly enough how much fun I have with my hosting gigs. As far as films go, ultimately, I'll be kicking butt in a fast paced action adventure.

What would be your dream role?

A sort of rogue modern-day superhero. Lara Croft, James Bond, Hit Girl, Indiana Jones' -hybrid chick. If Emma Stone's character in Zombieland had a setup like Catwoman.

Do you ever have trouble balancing your career and your personal life?

I learned early on that one of the biggest tools you need to be a successful actor is the understanding that you will have to give things up on one side to keep your priorities on the other side. I'm a person first. A daughter, sister, granddaughter, and friend first, and I have to be willing to say no to exciting or important things and keep promises to loved ones at all cost. It's all about balance, and you can never find the perfect one, but you should never ever give up trying.

Ok, you're a talented actress and singer, but let's talk about some things outside of your career!

Okay. I bake some pretty mean gluten-free brownies. ..from a mix, but still.. they're mean.

Do you have any pets?

Yes. My nugget Presley was the best 17th birthday present ever. He's a toy poodle, and totally converted me to a little dog person. I've been wanting a Siberian Husky or a lab, but I saw him and we pretty much fell in love. He's strong and tough and doesn't quite know he's a little dog, and I'm determined to keep it that way. I bought him a spiked collar, and whenever he goes anywhere, he walks or runs on his own four feet. And our family has a sweet older Yorkie named Daisy.

If you were able to be any animal, what would it be? Would you be domesticated (cared for, pet, spoiled) or wild (freedom, fighting, killing-for-your-food)?

Wolf. I'm definitely a pack animal, and I'd rather go hungry than be sustained by something canned and set in front of me.

Do you like to read in your free time?

Yes. I used to read a lot more when I was younger; now, it's more like I collect books with hopes of absorbing them through osmosis. Just began Frannie and Zooey by J.D. Salinger. Salinger's tone is so cool. I'm usually into Shakespeare and C.S. Lewis, where you do a bit more translating of words and concepts, but this book vibes conversationally offbeat. Actually, the book was a gift. On the inside cover, it explains that, with the way I use words, I'm reminiscent of a modern day Salinger.

When it comes to things outside of the acting/music industry, who do you look to for advice or guidance?

My brother, Chase. He's got a great head on his shoulders and doesn't mind telling me the things I don't want hear, in a way where I can receive them.

Let's say you're taking an astronomy class, and as you're looking through the telescope you see a star not in the book. "Wow," your teacher explains-- you've discovered a brand-spanking-new star. What will you call it?

Wow, I'm honored. Go me, with my little telescope...I'd name it 'Galadriel', or 'a UFO'. "Hey look, up there! What's that star?" "Oh, that's 'a UFO'." "NO WAY!" "yes way. Debby discovered 'a UFO', last week. She saw it with her own two eyes." "gnarrllyyyyy!"

Another scenario: The world is being torn apart by a war. It's a war between ninjas and pirates. Which side do you choose?

Ninjas. They're agile and shifty, and I use words only when necessary.

Now you've chosen your side, a regular human name just won't do... what will your alias be?

Redemption.

There are a lot of young girls in the world who feel lost-- be it about family, relationships or what they want to do with their lives. Do you have any words of advice or encouragement?

I don't think you ever fully figure yourself out, because you are always growing and changing. Own that! Find the joy in surprising yourself. Explore the world around you and finding out how you feel about what you see. Try out new hobbies, styles, foods, cultures.. see what sticks. Its natural if you don't know just yet what you stand for, but you need to know what you stand against. Have an anchor so life doesn't toss you around. It's good to have a mentor who has achieved what you want to achieve. They can help you so much and you can learn from their mistakes.

[zylphiacrowley]

Z's Free Range Grass Fed Spoiler Free Final Fantasy XV Headcanons

::EDIT:: These are now horrifically outdated ::EDIT::

I’ve only compiled a few of my headcanons for the Chocobros here. It was already getting too long without adding other characters… Under a cut for length.

Ignis -Ignis is a pretty light sleeper, but can fall back asleep pretty easily if he wants to. -If one of the other guys wakes up before him he’s usually up within the next minute. -He’s trained himself to be able to wake up like this so he’s ready to defend his friends at a moment’s notice. -Is gay. Gladio says the only woman in Ignis’ life is the Regalia. -He’s never pursued a long term relationship though because he’s dedicated his life to protecting and serving the royal family. -He is farsighted. -He secretly races chocobos in Insomnia’s underground Chocobo racing circuit. He wears a helmet with a one way mirrored visor to obscure his identity and goes by the name “Racer X”. He is sponsored by Ebony and rides a black chocobo named Noir. It’s a topic of hot debate among fans whether his chocobo is an actual rare black chocobo or if it’s simply dyed black. Only Ignis knows for sure. -He’s super competitive. -He has, on many occasions, made breakfast for everyone half asleep. They all joke that he could probably cook an entire meal with his eyes closed. -He loves cars. He has subscriptions to at least four different automotive magazines. -While he doesn’t do major repairs, he does know how to perform general upkeep and maintenance like oil changes and replacing brake pads and such. -Owns at least three moka pots. A black one with a brushed metal surface is his primary one, a standard silver one as a backup, and a third larger silver one that he got from Gladio for his 20th birthday. He packed all three of them on the road trip. -Is typically the last to go to bed, and first to wake up in the morning.

Prompto -Prompto has ADHD. His mind is always racing and he has trouble focusing on any one thing for too long. -That being said, photography is the first thing that really captured his attention and held it. -He has an insatiable apatite when it comes to learning new things, especially if it’s things he knows his friends are interested in. -Due to the aforementioned ADHD, he never attains any sort of mastery of anything aside from photography. He is very much the “Jack of all trades, master of none.” type. -He sings A LOT. He even likes to make up little songs about stuff they see along the way. -One time he wrote an entire jingle about Wiz’s Chocobo Post that Wiz now uses to advertise the place. -He has an entire photo album titled “Chocobo selfies” -He talks to his Chocobo as if carrying on a conversation with it. -He’s a huge fanboy of Chocobo racing. His favorite racer is the mysterious Racer X. -Out of the four, he is the best at King’s Knight. He has sunk so many hours into the game and unlocked all the characters and extra content. -He owns a bunch of King’s Knight merchandise but he left it all back in Insomnia, with the exception of his Toby pillowcase. -Has a genuine interest in learning how to cook, and has been known to hover around Ignis at camp while he’s cooking. He even gets to help sometimes. -He loves getting to hang out with his favorite pal, Talcott. They’ve gone on lots of walks around Cape Caem, when Prompto lets Talcott borrow his camera. -He and Talcott have a special photo album they decorated together to put all the photos of the Cape in that is covered in glitter stickers of cartoon cactuars and chocobos. -He also hangs out with Iris a lot as well whenever they’re at the Cape. She’s teaching him and Talcott how to garden. -He’s got really neat penmanship. -Is the last to actually fall asleep. -He’s really scared that one day the guys will decide that he’s just a hindrance and opt to leave him behind. -The optimist of the group, he always tries to find the silver lining in any situation, and if he can’t he tries his best to lighten the mood by any means necessary.

Gladio -Gladio loves opera. He has made his own exclusively opera playlist that he’ll put on and train to. -Once used the pickup line “You have nice lips, it’s a shame no one is kissing them.” on someone. It may or may not have worked. -Has an entire library full of classic and contemporary literature back home in Insomnia. -Likes to paint. -Is like the best gift giver of the four of them. He remembers little things that the other guys have mentioned in past conversations and stores that information away to get them exactly what they want for birthdays and holidays. -Is almost always the one designated to actually wake Noctis up in the morning. -He has been smacked many times on accident trying to do so. -Knows at least 30 different ways to prepare cup noodles. -Has a fondness for science fiction. -Tries to call Iris every night, but sometimes can’t due to it being impossible in some situations. If he goes more than 3 days without calling her however, he’ll have a very panicky voicemail from her. -Always cuts his hair himself. -As well as being proficient with a multiple bladed weapons, he’s also no slouch at hand-to-hand combat. -Jogs every morning. -Knows how to make plain black coffee, and has done so on multiple occasions for all the guys. Ignis is eternally grateful for his help. -Is definitely the kind of guy that will go out on midnight grocery/convenience store runs if they forgot something.

Noctis -Before the road trip he could sleep upwards of 18 hours a day. He didn’t always do it, but he could. -Has a ratty stuffed Carbuncle that his dad gave him when he was 3. It came along for the road trip. -Is exceptionally stubborn. If he complains about the heat and someone tells him to take off his jacket he will purposely leave it on and risk heat stroke before taking it off, even if he originally intended to take it off. -He used to be a volunteer dog walker at two different animal shelters in Insomnia while in middle and high school. -Proudly claims that he has only ever eaten one carrot in his entire life. Ignis knows this is not true, but refuses to tell him otherwise. -He has actually called Luna plenty of times over the phone. They can be on the line together for hours at a time. -He’s a hopeless romantic, he just doesn’t advertise it. He doesn’t have to, everyone already knows. -Is almost always the first to fall asleep, and the last to wake up. The guys usually have to get him conscious enough to roll over and make room in the tent when they eventually go to bed while camping. He never remembers being woken up the next day. -Has fallen asleep in his normal clothes many times. The guys have to at least take off his jacket and shoes. Again, he has no recollection of them doing so. -Used to sneak out of the Citadel in civilian clothes to go to the movies. His favorites are fantasy films. :B -Has a tendency to get lost in his own thoughts if left alone for extended periods of time. -It was during one of these deep thought sessions that he ended up thinking about his mother, and how he didn’t know anything about her, and he felt like a terrible person for not having any emotional connection to her. -He once asked Regis about his mom. Regis got very quiet for a moment too long. Noctis hugged his dad and apologized, vowing to himself that he would never bring it up again. -He once spent an entire day with Nyx when he was a kid. They went to go see an animated movie then went to a petting zoo. He decided that day that Nyx would be the coolest big brother. -He and Prompto have had danceoffs at the arcade dance machines many times. At the time of Insomnia’s fall, he held the title of Dance Master, though neither of them typically held the title for long before the other beat them again. -He always wanted to open a public fishing park in Insomnia. He’s sad that he won’t get to anymore.

[sqrzos]

92 Statements Tag

thanks to @vangoghs-flowerss for tagging me, love you friend!

Rules: Answer the 92 Statements + tag 20 people.

Last:

1. Drink: Homemade iced tea 2. Phone call: to my dad, to see if he knew where a couple books were 3. Text message: my friend, answering and asking questions right now because this reminded me to text back 4. Song you listened to: Uh, something from Ceremonials by Florence + The Machine (not sure which song, I had a playlist on and all I remember is that it was Florence and not Hozier) 5. Time you cried: Oooh boy it’s actually been like, a week, maybe more

Have you:

6. Dated someone twice: HaH you’re funny. no. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. Been cheated on: I do not qualify my one experience with someone as a relationship, therefore he could not have cheated 9. Lost someone special: Yup, if family counts  10. Been depressed: Hoooooo boy am I ever 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope.

List 3 favorite colors: 

12-14. Green, blue, and purple (pretty much any shade of them)

In the last year have you:

15. Made new friends: Yep! 16. Fallen out of love: I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in it. 17. Laughed until you cried: No, but I have laughed until it hurt 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Not in the dramatic sense, no 19. Met someone who changed you: Honestly I don’t know. Do dogs count? 20. Found out your real friends: Nah, that happened in grade nine 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Don’t have facebook

General:

22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Don’t have facebook 23. Do you have any pets: Yes! Popper, a grouchy bearded dragon and Jackson, an over enthusiastic shepherd/rottweiler/unknown mix 24. Do you want to change your name: Nope! I like my current one pretty well, though some are definitely prettier 25. What did you do for your last birthday: Tried to go to mandarin with friends, couldn’t get a table despite having a reservation, and walked to panera instead. 26. what time did you wake up: 7:30 am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: being in the first stages of sleep 28. Name something you can’t wait for: The next episodes of Teen Wolf, and the premier of The Bright Sessions season 4 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: when I was six, or this afternoon (birth mom vs step mom) 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I’d like to have stable mental health and a plan for the future please? 31. What are you listening to rn: the click of Popper’s timer for his lights, and the sound of my dad and brother in the house 32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yep, my cousin 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: I have a slight headache right now and also persistent homophobia, racism, xenophobia, and other societal intolerances 34. Most visited websites: Tumblr and youtube, according to Chrome 35. Elementary: Yup, hated it 36. High school: Currently- it’s better than elementary but still not perfect 37. University: Listen man I have no plans for the future 38. Hair color: Medium brown 39. Long or short hair: Longish? I’d like if it was like, ‘Cheryl Blossom’ long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: other than recurring pangs when I look at old crushes, no 41. What do you like about yourself: My humour 42. Piercings: Just regular lobe piercings 43. Blood type: I have no idea 44. Nickname: Amy, Ames, or, when I was really little, Boo or Stumpy 45. Relationship status: Single  46. Zodiac: aquarius 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite tv show: Hooo boy I have bad taste. Teen Wolf and Supernatural, despite consistent issues regarding treatment of ‘minority’ characters (even though ‘minority’ is a bad concept cause it alienates ppl who aren’t ‘normal’ plus they outnumber the people who qualify as a ‘majority’). I just fall in love with characters and continue watching because I care about them! I can’t help it! 49. Tattoos: nope, but if I got any I’d get this one really small someday, plus the symbol my mom had tattooed that contains my name and a heart

First

51. Surgery: to cut back the thingy under my tongue cause I couldn’t eat as a baby 52. Hair dyed In different color: actually never dyed my hair. I’m too scared to bleach it and I feel like having it go darker would look bad on me 53. Sport: other than in gym class? Uhh horseback riding or swimming? Does swimming lessons that I sucked at count? 54. Vacation: There are photos of me in newfoundland when I was tiny? Idk if that was my first though 55. Pair of trainers: I have no idea man

More general

56. Eating: I had hash browns (I call them potato thingies so that might not be what they actually are) 57. Drinking: Again, either iced tea or water 58. I’m about to go: nowhere, I don’t leave my house unless I have to 59. Waiting for: Teen Wolf to come on so I can PATIENTLY wait to see my Hales 60. Want: mental stability, a billion dollars, and to be friends with some of the people I look up to (youtubers mostly) 61. Get married: Honestly maybe. Idk, that’s a long way off. 62. Career: Hoooooo boy I have no idea. I like learning how things are connected- maybe something about science, language, or history? 63. Favorite artist: Jazza from Draw With Jazza (I forget his real name but he’s a really fun guy) and all my friends who make art 64. Place you want to travel to: Ireland cause there’s old, pretty places. I heard something about norway having gorgeous forests?New Zealand is also gorgeous... And ofc Germany to meet my friendo @vangoghs-flowerss and also because it’s apparently really heckin pretty? From what I saw?  65. Favorite subject: Art cause I’ve got friends in that class, and history. Idk, any class is fascinating with the right teacher.

Which is better

66. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. I don’t like the feel of kisses much, and hugs are great and comforting as long as I have an escape route. 67. Lips or eyes: Eyes tbh 68. shorter or taller: Are we talking about me? I want to be tall so I can be an elven warrior, but if we’re talking about my preferences for others I don’t care 69. Older or younger: For a partner? I guess a little older so that I don’t have to be the mature one. Assistance in life would be great 70. nice arms or nice stomach: All stomachs are nice stomachs so I’m gonna say arms. 71. Sensitive or loud: Honestly sensitive for me and a partner. They can be loud sometimes, but I need someone who’d listen too. 72. hookup or relationship: Relationship. I might be ace sooooo... 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Like, both? In moderation? Neither totally complacent nor boring and stiff. Idk, I like having fun but I dislike bringing people to emergency rooms

Have you ever 74. kissed a stranger: Not even close 75. Drank hard liquor: What qualifies? I think the fact I have to ask means it’s a no 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: No, but I have broken them. 77. Turned someone down: Yes, but only after panicking, saying yes, then regretting it and admitting I don’t like them (this happened twice. Twice!) 78. sex on the first date: I’ve never even been on a date you’re overestimating how attractive I am here 79. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t think so? I hope not?  80. Had your heart broken: I’m a teenager I’ve never been in a serious relationship 81. Been arrested: Jesus christ no 82. Cried when someone died: No, even though both my mother and grandfather have died. My mom’s, I was too young to understand properly, and my grandfather, I wasn’t there and wasn’t really close to 83. fallen for a friend: Again, never been in love, but not really? I’ve thought about dating p much everyone but never really wanted to. It’s more of a ‘what if’ thing.

Do you believe in:

84. yourself: sometimes, rarely 85. Miracles: honestly? not really, unless you mean the everyday kind 86. Love at first sight: tbh sometimes. It takes effort to maintain though. 87. Santa Claus: cover your kid’s ears, folks...................no 88. Kiss in the first date: maybe. Depends how it went, and the context of the kiss (goodnight/goodbye cheek kiss? sure. random kiss while on the date? probably not.) 89. Angels: honestly maybe? I feel like if they do exist, they don’t interact with humans Other

90. current best friends name: Uhhhh I have a bunch and at least a couple would kill me if I didn’t pick them so... Amanda, Sia, and Lorena 91. Eye color: grey-green-bluish 92. Favorite movie: Don’t make me pick between The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, I can’t do it.

I tag : @disturbingpeopleismylife, @beriala ,,, I have no other friends on Tumblr other than my friend who tagged me in this

[fuck-you-i-am-spiderman]

rain, flowers, trees

These took a little longer than I planned because mental health doesn’t wait but anyway

rain: put your music on shuffle and give a 5 song playlist

You’ll be in my heart ~Phil Collins

Adam’s Song ~Blink 182

Healing Incantation ~Tangled Soundtrack

Viva La Vida ~cover version by Sofia Karlberg

No Good Deed ~Wicked Soundtrack

flowers: what’s your favorite outdoor activity?

It probably sounds stupid but I really like to take photos, I like to take pictures of the sunset or random pieces of glass that look beautifully broken. 

I like to pet all of the dogs I can find. There is a church about 30 seconds from the house I live in for University and every few days there is a dog in the church grounds (we think she belongs to a grounds keeper or something) but she is so friendly, she always pads over and brushes against the bars - she lets you stroke her and licks your hand and walks alongside you. Any time I see her I get an instant smile because she’s just so friendly and I want to smuggle her into our house.

trees: favorite thing about your hometown?

Not going to lie I don’t like much about where I grew up because a lot of bad memories and my homebase was really crappy. The best thing was probably that there is a bus stop about 2 minutes from my house so I could get the bus into a town which had more to do - there was a patch of grass with benches and trees with blossoms on where I used to sit and read to escape from things at home and to be there when I had no one, it was comforting.